#and thirdly honestly shut up

[ziskeyt]

I would really, really love it if the story of tears of the kingdom involved actually fighting back against the whole destiny cycle, taking back their autonomy, freeing Ganondorf and the entire kingdom from Demise's curse -- but this is absolutely not going to happen. With that skin colour? I'd be incredibly surprised if he was given even slightly more nuance than in Wind Waker. They design this big beautiful man and for what? For us to kill him? To give him racist caricature skin colour? Why???? It's been twenty-five years since Ocarina of Time, couldn't someone have actually learned about racialized coding and how green skin on your evil guy who is supposed to be human is just not okay? He's the king of a desert tribe of people who are already exhibiting exoticized characteristics of fantasy "Arabian" people, he is a dark sorcerer, he's got the racialized nose with the green skin? like. come on. I know it was how he was again, twenty-five years ago, but you can change things, as nintendo has proven with every release of Zelda that comes out. I just feel so disappointed. Ganon's design is honestly really cool, and then they went and shat all over it with his skin colour.

[marisatomay]

[teencopandthesourwolf]

"I'll text Stiles," Scott says, grabbing his backpack. "Then I'm gonna go see Allison.”

When Scott turns back around, Derek's lips are a thin line and they are the only part of him that moves when he asks, through his teeth, "Are you going to talk to her, too?”

Scott just squints. Because—huh? 

"Derek, what do you mean, am I going to talk to her, too?” He narrows his eyes even more, suspicious. “Why else would I be going to see Allison, if not to talk to her? I don't just, like, watch her from afar like some creeper, you know." 

Scott isn't about to admit that he has, embarrassingly, done just that on occasion. Alright, occasions, plural—but only once or twice! Five or six times, tops. And only ever when he thought Allison was, or could possibly be, in danger. It's not weird, though. It's not! It's noble, okay? It just sounds weird when you say it out loud. Even if he hasn't actually said it out loud. Well, at least not just now anyways; he's said it in front of the mirror a couple times and it turns out your reflection can be pretty hurtful and judgemental which, honestly, is a little upsetting.  

Just as Scott realises that Derek must know he just told a lie—half-lie!—the Alpha's face does a thing that Scott has never seen it do before. Ever. The dude looks almost… Human. 

And, what the hell? 

Derek clears his throat and shifts his weight from one foot to the other and worries at his bottom lip a bit and now Scott is feeling anxious because who is this guy? And what has he done with Derek ‘I Will Never Give A Single Thing Away About Myself Ever Other Than The Fact I Am Eternally Pissed’ Hale? (that's one of Stiles's). 

Just the possibility of Derek ‘Emotionally Open and Vulnerable’ Hale is, like—it's just way too much for Scott to handle on a Sunday morning when he's supposed to be at the veterinary surgery in less than fourteen minute's time and has to somehow manage fitting in seeing Allison on the way.

But it seems Scott is also too nosy to just move on from this and let sleeping dogs lie. And both of those things are really annoying because strange old phrases and being overly curious is usually a Stiles thing, not a Scott thing, so Scott really doesn't know what he's supposed to do! 

W.W.S.D. 

What Would Stiles Do?

"Um, Derek, have you been—"

"Firstly, McCall, following somebody around and watching them from a distance is not creepy if you think that they need to be tailed for their own safety, alright?" Derek starts and—well.

Exactly!

Scott actually genuinely likes Derek, for just a moment, because he knew he'd been right about that! He gives himself an internal high-five and an imaginary congratulatory pat on the back because being kind to yourself is never a bad option. Unfortunately, Scott now also has to admit to himself that it does, in fact, sound weird when you say it out loud. Or, well, think it out loud. Whatever, he knows what he means.

He realises that Derek is still speaking.

"...because Stiles is human and also the biggest danger-magnet in the pack, so it makes sense that one of us should be keeping tabs on him. Thirdly, I—“ 

“Someone, Derek!” Scott blurts, “I was going to ask if you've been creeping on someone!" he interrupts because—honestly, in the most way possible—what?! The hell?!

Scott is both stunned and annoyed at hearing that Derek has been following Stiles (hiding around dark corners and slinking about the place like a wolf ninja. Scott should know. Shut up.) 

Because Stiles! Is Scott's best friend! 

And, like, how long has he been doing this? And for what purpose, really? Because Derek's heart just skipped about twelve beats, never mind one, so reason number two was obviously at least a half-lie of his own. 

That's when Derek's mouth clacks audibly shut. 

Scott just stares. And he knows; there is more going on here than meets the eye.

Then it's obvious that Derek knows that Scott knows and then everybody is knowing and looking and looking and knowing and Scott just—he can't stand it, okay? He needs confirmation. He doesn't necessarily want it, but it's like his mom always says: Life's tough sometimes. 

Eventually, he manages to say, "Are you stalking Stiles, Derek?" and hopes to hell he's wrong because he now feels somewhere in between being affronted on his best friend's behalf, totally grossed-out because it's Derek, ugh, and maybe just a little bit amused. Or is it bemused? Possibly confused. Scott is definitely some of those words. 

And again, seriously, what the hell?  

Has Derek honestly been creeping on Stiles because he's concerned for Stiles's safety? And, if so, why? Like, does Derek even get concerned for humans? Or other wolves for that matter (apart from maybe his own betas which is probably only a biological thing anyway, Scott reckons). Does Derek care about anybody? At all? Dude doesn't even care about himself, Scott doesn't think.

Scott now tries his best to come up with another reason, any other possible reason, that someone might have to follow a person around, but he can't seem to land on—OH, GOD! DOES DEREK HAVE A CRUSH ON STILES? Oh, shit! Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! He can't. But he—nope. No! Because what. The actual. Hell! He just—no. No, no, no. He can't! Can he? Oh, my God, what if he does?! And if it is true... ew! Derek Hale crushing is just gross! And on Stiles?! Just, no. But also, why? And also-also, how the hell did Scott not notice something sooner?! 

And another thing: Did Scott somehow wake up this morning having somehow travelled in his sleep to one of those Affirmative Universe places that Stiles is always banging on about?

Man, Scott has, like, so many questions. 

Derek still hasn't said anything and is just standing opposite Scott with his stupid arms folded across his stupid chest with his stupid beard in his stupid loft looking really, really stupidly sheepish, and Scott thinks, yep.

Affirmative Universe. 

He doesn't know what to do and Stiles isn't here to ask, so he waves a confused (and maybe amused and bemused) arm in the air and says, “Derek, what the hell is going on? Have we travelled to an Affirmative Universe or something, because—”  

“Don't you mean Alternative Universe?”  

“—you never just, I don't know, don't throw something offensive or at least defensive back at me when I'm talking to you about Stiles. Or, you know, anybody else. Or anything else, come to think of it!”   

Derek now looks, for real, actually scared.

And Scott? Well, Scott is now officially terrified.  

His phone starts ringing and, as it's already in his hand, he just answers it without looking, eyes still fixed on Derek The Imposter. 

“Yooooo, amigo, what's the plan?” 

It's Stiles. Of course it's Stiles. 

Stiles is on the phone and Derek Hale might-probably-definitely have a crush on him, and Scott may or may not be in an Affirmative Universe but can't know for sure and can no longer speak or think or breathe.

“Uh, Scottie? Scottland? Sir Scott-A-Lot? You there, ol’buddy, ol’pal?” 

Derek can obviously hear who is on the other end of the phone. He looks positively constipated, his brows knitting together even tighter than before, tighter than ever before, and his lethal jaw is ticking away like it's being controlled by the World Clock in Berlin that Scott learned about in middle school.

Scott sighs, heavy, like he's seventy years old instead of seventeen.

Derek is now giving his best version of Scott's own speciality Puppy Dog Eyes (something Stiles and Allison always accuse him of), with a definite flavour of please, don't tell…

And Scott wants to cry. Like a baby. Like, throw himself onto the floor and scream and shout and kick his feet in the air. 

Instead, he grits his teeth together like the mature person he is, feeling very firmly smooshed between a best friend-shaped rock and a werewolf-scented hard place. 

Ugh, his life is just so unfair!

He mouths YOU OWE ME to Derek, and Derek's whole body visibly sags with relief. 

Then he takes a deep breath and answers Stiles—who is now chanting ScottieScottieScottieScottieScottieScottieScottie down the phone—with, “Dude, shut up and listen, will you! I think we might have a very real problem with Affirmative Universes!”

[boreal-sea]

all this just makes me realize how much the MRA movement screwed us over. so many people trying to have genuine conversations about mens' issues and the struggles they face get called MRA or accused of being misandrists when neither of those things was happening. I understand people being wary of conversations about mens' issues being used to silence women and discussions of misogyny, but that's not everyone, and that kind of generalization feels unproductive. There needs to be nuance and people need to actually take the time to understand what's being said without leaping to accusations of misandry every time someone wants to have a conversation about men, but I don't know if that'll ever actually happen.

I honestly place the blame entirely on anti-transmasc people. They know what they're doing, and they're doing it on purpose to silence us.

Like, we all KNOW the MRA/incel movement is made up of cis men who think cis women oppress them because they won't fuck them. That's it, that's the core of their belief system. That cis women are actually the oppressors, and cis men are actually the oppressed.

That is in no way comparable to trans men saying "we face transphobia".

You cannot logically translate "trans men face transphobia" into "we think trans women oppress trans men".

"Trans men face transphobia" has nothing to do with trans women, first of all. Secondly, it has nothing to do with who will or will not have sex with us. Thirdly, it has nothing to do with whether or not trans women specifically will have sex with us, which is what it would have to be about for there to be any kind of a comparison to MRA rhetoric.

But that's what anti-transmasc people have done. For whatever reason, they've taken the reasoning of the MRAs and tacked it onto trans men. They have invented this problem and then gotten mad at it all by themselves.

And on top of that!! We're not silencing anyone!

We're not going into posts about transmisogyny and derailing them to try to make them about trans men. We're not invading discussions being led by trans women. We're literally trying to create our own space where we can speak, and everyone else is barging in and telling us to shut up.

[sadboyeddie]

Love At First Bite

October 18th: Vampire!Eddie

Kinktober 2022

Summary: Waking up in a strange Facility leaves you with many questions

Warnings: (Minors DNI 18+ only) blood, violence,

A/N: Vampires baby! This is Part 1 of 2. I’ll be adding a smut chapter tomorrow.

Credit to @moonlightsolo for the vampire edit of Eddie

5.8k Words

Masterlist

You let out a pained groan as you peel your eyes open but the harsh fluorescent light causes you to immediately snap them shut.

What happened?

As your mind starts to clear of the fog of unconsciousness you realise that you’re currently laying on a very uncomfortable floor. You heave out a sigh as you roll onto your side and sit up, instantly grabbing your head as a sharp pain throbs through your temples.

You take a deep breath as you try to remember what happened last night.

It was the weekend so you decided to go out with some work friends to unwind.

There was some drinking involved.

You honestly didn’t want to go but you’d just moved to the area and didn’t want to be impolite.

A few months prior an old friend from school sent you a link to a small town where the housing was cheap and the pay rate was high, to say you were skeptical would be an understatement. This place seemed like a dream come true, so what was the catch?

Well, according to some research, back in the 80s there was a neighbouring town, Hawkins, where a number of strange incidents happened, ranging from missing kids, chemical leaks, Russian spies and even cult stuff. In March of 86’ there was an earthquake that split the town and big clouds of ash and sulphuric gases spewed out like an active volcano.

Because the air was toxic, and due to the earthquake, more people died or went missing never to be found again so they forced an evacuation. Kind of like Chernobyl, most people couldn’t even collect their most precious items before they were being escorted out.

The U.S government built a large steel wall to fence in Hawkins, apparently months after the event people would try to sneak in and would inevitably never be seen again. They have a 24/7 U.S military surveillance and, according to some conspiracy sites, a private military group that monitor the fence line.

You thought it all seemed a bit much, it’s almost been forty years for Christ sake, but people were stupid and it technically didn’t effect you so it wasn’t really your issue.

When you were travelling to the small town the roads were barren and in bad shape, you were also shocked to see the large black plume of smoke that towers into the sky. Sure you’d seen pictures but seeing it in person was much more alarming.

According to some ‘survivor stories’ the smoke was so thick it was like constant night in Hawkins.

You found a few Reddit subs about conspiracies and there was a user who posted a lot in the different groups, ‘HawkinsHero86’, they posted stories about growing up in Hawkins.

You ended up reading a lot of their entries but had to stop because you were freaking yourself out. It started like fun stories but then it went into nightmare territory — creatures with no faces, teens being turned into pretzels, cult leaders, kids with superpowers, the creepy list was endless.

You closed the browser and for a few weeks you forgot all about Hawkins and the creatures that came from the lab, but your friend sent you a link to a job opening and you snatched it right up.

You surmised that the reason housing was cheap and pay was high was because of the negativity that’s spurred from all the rumours but you weren’t going to let it ruin an opportunity for a fresh beginning for you. Living expenses were high in the city so if you buckled down and saved your money from this new job you could pave your way to a brighter future.

After a few weeks of being in the small town you’d learnt a lot. First of all: the job you had was mundane, secondly: there’s a large facility between this town and Hawkins that constantly monitors the hell scape around the clock and thirdly: the locals were very… weird.

It was hard to make friends with the locals, and you haven’t really, the friends you made at work were all out of towners like yourself who were lured in by money. The locals were standoffish and only talked to you if they really had to and even then it was one worded replies.

The building you were staying in was payed by the company you work for, you found it odd that a job where all you do is the bare minimum would pay for your housing. You work at the local hospital as a lunch lady. Everyone in the apartment building had similar minor jobs like your own, cleaning, cooking etc. it was strange but you didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Not even when you were driving home one night and got lost, you came across a large fenced off field that was filled with hundreds of cars. Some old some new, considering there’s maybe two hundred locals in the town this came off as a red flag but maybe because you’re young and stupid or maybe it’s because it all felt unreal to you but for some reason you believed nothing bad was going to happen and stuff like this only happens in the movies.

That’s why you ignored the warnings of “don’t stay out too late, you never know what wild things run about at night,” or the looks of pity and emptiness on the locals faces, you were only going to be here for a short while anyway.

Now that’s you’re sitting in a white tiled room you’re filled with regret for not listening to your gut.

The room was small and empty, there was a mirror that took up a majority of one of the walls, and you suspect in was two ways, with a camera in the corner. You slid back until your body made contact with the wall and observed the tiny prison.

After a few minutes there was a unpleasant crackling that filled the room followed by a mysterious voice.

“Ah, you’re awake?” You bite back the urge to reply with sarcasm, there’s a beat of silence as they wait for your reply but when they realise none is coming the continue on, “I’m sure you’re very confused, we hope to clear things up very soon we just require a bit more time,” the voice is sickly sweet, “please bare with us.”

The crackling ceases and and you’re once again left in silence as you wait. You want to bang on the door and mirror and scream to be let out but you doubt that would do anything other then exhaust your energy.

You’re not sure how much time passed before two men entered the room, fully dressed in white and wearing matching scowls. You stand up instantly but stay rooted to the floor.

“Come here,” the one of the left orders you, his voice gruff. You clench your jaw and stand straighter.

If they want you they have to come and get you.

The one who spoke lets out a sigh of annoyance, not happy with your defiance, as the other man stalks towards you.

The small bit of bravery you felt earlier instantly dissipates as the large orderly towers over you, not quick enough to fight back you’re grabbed and dragged from the room.

The walk through building is slightly disorienting, there’s so many twists and turns and everything looks the same, you’re honestly surprised these men know where they’re going.

You arrive at a set of double doors, after a keycard is scanned you’re hauled into a large room with other people — prisoners?

You’re quick to realise the prisoners are all the people from your apartment complex, you furrow your forehead in confusion as you stand idle in the middle of the room. At least nine others reside in the room with you.

You go to walk over to one of the people, Tori, you’ve gotten closest with but before you can a man wearing a three piece suit in a lab coat enters the room, followed by a few armed orderlies.

You instinctively step back toward the farthest wall and try to make yourself look as small as possible, unfortunately there’s a few male prisoners who try to act tough and end up getting a knock to the nose from the butt of the gun.

“Let’s not erupt into chaos,” the voice from the doctor (?) matches the one from the intercom. “My name is Doctor Yuri and I’m sure you’re all wondering why you’re hear.”

There’s a few scoffs from around the room from the more braver captives and Dr. Yuri smirks at their response.

“36 years ago there was an incident in Hawkins,” he starts to explain, “you see, our reality is not the only one out there.”

You scrunch up your face in confusion and a quick glance around the room shows you’re not the only one confused.

“There is a reality right next to ours, it’s been affectionately dubbed ‘The Upside Down’,” he continues, still not making much sense, “this reality mirrors our own almost completely except for a few minor details.”

He takes a long pause as everyone, including yourself, waits impatiently for him to continue.

“In this reality instead of people there are monsters, it’s dark and cold and twisted’,” he goes quiet for a few seconds, “there were those who tried to stop the incident and those who tried to continue so they could study it, unfortunately both were not prepared for what was on the other side… Pure evil.”

Your mind is spinning with the information and you can’t help but notice that a few things sound familiar to what the Reddit user was saying.

“After a great battle on both sides unfortunately ‘The Upside Down’ won. It claimed Hawkins and a lot of the citizens but for the brave few that tried to fight against them they were met with a fate worse then death,”… “they became monsters themselves.”

The room is silent as you all try to comprehend the situation. This all seems like a plot to a poorly written story not real life.

“We’re not sure exactly what happened after Hawkins was lost but we know the monsters are strong,” Dr. Yuri looks pensive for a moment and before he continues he’s interrupted.

“Why not just bomb them?”

“Yeah, or send the army in?”

Dr. Yuri looks annoyed, “do you really think we’ve not tried that!” He snaps, “it only makes them stronger, the vines feed from the energy of the weapons and that causes them to grow and the soldiers, well, the soldiers feed the monsters.”

The explanation causes the room to fall silent once again.

“We’ve struck a deal of sorts with them,“ Dr. Yuri’s voice is quiet, “if we provide them with… certain things they will not become a threat to us.”

You nervously chew on your fingernails, the more he speaks the less sense he makes but the gist you’re getting from this is: you’re gonna die today.

“W-what ‘things’?” Someone braver then you asks.

“I believe you all know,” Yuri speaks, he sounds slightly guilty.

Once the information is processed in everyone’s minds the room erupts into chaos. Screaming and cursing from both sides as the prisoners try to rush the guards or escape the room.

You sink to the floor and crawl along the sides of the room towards the exit, praying that due to the scuffle you may pass unnoticed. You let out a gasp as a someone falls next to you, their body convulsing as 1,200 volts of electricity shocks through them and leaves them incapacitated.

You watch as others fall to the same fate and before you can get close you feel a hot sting begin to pulse through your veins as you fall back onto the cold floor while volts of electricity shock you into submission.

It takes probably half an hour and a handful more of taser ‘demonstrations’ before the prisoners give up the fight. You admit after the first shock you didn’t put up an fight after that.

“Think of this as helping your fellow man,” Dr. Yuri says when the room has calmed down, “your sacrifice is for a noble cause.”

With those final words he leaves the room and more armed guards come in, though this time instead of using their tasers they hold full automatic weapons in their hands.

You tense as everyone is rounded up like cattle and marched back through the confusing halls of the facility, you’re then lead to an large elevator that takes you deep underground.

You’re all forced out into a long, dark, cement corridor that seems endless, before anyone can ask what’s going on the doors shut on the elevator and several sci-fi looking iron doors close over the opening. There’s no possible way to access the elevator or the shaft from this end.

The only way forward is through the tunnel.

Every one stands in place and looks around the area in confusion before Dr. Yuri can be heard over the intercom, “you must leave the tunnel, if you don’t the guards will come back down and they will force you to vacate.”

You walk like zombies onward, everyone too afraid to speak. It all seems unbelievable, it doesn’t make sense. You heard stories about rich people hunting the poor for sport and that’s exactly what this feels like.

Your head spins with the array of information forced upon you in such a small amount of time. You wrap your arms around your chest, the chilly air of the tunnel causing goosebumps to rise under your thin sweater, the cries and sniffles of the others reverberate off the cement walls only serving to add to the misery. You feel as though you’re walking to the electric chair, and in someways you were.

After walking, for what feels like forever, you come across a metal door, once opened it reveals a narrow staircase that’s only wide enough for everyone to walk in single file.

No one wants to be first, you all stand there for a few seconds waiting for someone to be brave and take the lead but no one does.

You suck in a deep shuddering breath deciding to just do it, waiting for death seems more painful then what’s to come.

You ascend the metal staircase, cringing every time your step causes the steel to creak and after several long minutes you finally reach the top.

The landing is enough for a few of you to huddle together and you wait for the others to join you, most of them seem content on dragging their feet.

When everyone has gathered by the top of the stairs you turn towards the door, a fresh wave of terror and dread crashes through your body and gathering by the postures and facial expressions on the groups face you know you’re not the only one feeling it.

You reach forward and pull down the thin metal door handle and wince as the it makes a loud, almost ear piercing, squeak that carry’s out amongst the trees. When you step over the threshold, away from the small comfort that the tunnel provided, you quickly survey the area.

The exit from the tunnel looks like a small cement outhouse and it’s surrounded by forest on all sides. The woods are dark and there’s a multitude of strange noises bouncing off the trees making it seem like you’re surrounded, and for all you know you are.

You let out a gasp and step back as a dark figure runs through the shadows, so quick it couldn’t possibly be human, but so large it couldn’t possible be an animal.

“What? What was it!” Someone harshly whispers from behind you.

“S-something is out there,” you point to the area where you saw the figure run to as your eyes dart all around.

You hear some cursing and will yourself to calm down. This won’t be so bad if you keep a level head about you.

Unfortunately there’s not enough time to calm down because seconds later a blood curdling scream is heard from behind you and when you whip around you see a large pale creature on top of one of the men and is mauling his neck.

Everyone, including yourself, scatters into different directions into the woods. You feel a pang of guilt over leaving someone behind to die but as of the moment your mind can barely comprehend what exactly it was you just saw.

You keep running in hopes of reaching a road or a town so you can hide but so far it’s just more woods. You run until your lungs start to burn and your thighs are chafing but the image of the monster back there fuels your adrenaline.

You skid to an immediate halt when you’re met with a literal crossroads, you kneel down and crouch behind a log as you clutch your chest from exhaustion. You were no athlete.

You can hear blood in your ears and as sweat trickles down your forehead and you fight to level your breathing.

The left path is dark, really dark, the vines are more twisted and gnarled and there’s a soft fog rising from the floor of the woods.

The right path however is less dark and less… vine-y but now that your breathing has calmed down you can hear a deep growling coming from the path, if you squint you can just see two very sharp, very bright, very large, gold glowing eyes behind the tree line.

Your hands are now shaking against your chest as you struggle to pick the lesser of two evils.

The booming howl that cuts through the, otherwise hauntingly silent, night makes your decision for you and you stand on wobbly legs and push on towards the left path.

You grab a stick from the forest floor and grip it tight in your hands as you slowly walk down the twisted path, the deeper you go the more the trail disappears. It reminds you of when you read The Hobbit as a kid and The Company entered Mirkwood:

“Stick to the forest-track, keep your spirits up, hope for the best, and with a tremendous slice of luck you may come out one day…”

“Just stick to the path,” you mumble, the eery silence starting to get to you, “well, more like a worn trail,” you muse as you step over a log encased in vines, “don’t wander off because if I get attacked by giant spiders I doubt there will be elves around to save me.” You grip the branch harder as you let out a nervous laugh.

A light chuckle sounds in your ear and you spin around in alarm at the soft airy sound but are met with empty darkness.

It was so soft that it could’ve just been some of the creepy chirps carrying through the fog but the hairs on the back of your neck are standing on edge and at this point you’re positive you’re never going to be able to get rid of the goosebumps.

You take one last nervous look around before turning in the direction you think you were going. The ‘path’ has all but faded, you could probably see more if you had a torch. You start waking forward, was it this was? Maybe it was more that way? Christ, these trees all look the same and that damn fog is not helping.

Another chuckle wafts through the barely there breeze, sounding awfully amused at the situation you’ve gotten yourself into.

“~this way~” you snap your head to the direction to your left were the voice came from and let out an small whimper.

The fog starts to clear away slightly indicating that someone — something — wants you to go that way.

No thanks.

You back away slowly from the… invitation? and quickly walk in the opposite direction.

“~you’re no fun~” the voice whines.

Whines?

You ignore the tormenting voice and continue on at a brisk pace, fighting back the urge to roll your eyes when they huff.

A loud crack comes from behind you and turn in the direction. Your blood runs cold as you see in the distance one of those pale things stalking about.

Was it looking for you? Has it seen you? What the fuck should you do?

“yes — yes — and run,” the voice is directly in your ear now but you don’t turn to investigate. The creature lets out a deafening screech before rushing towards you.

You let out a shriek of your own before spinning on your heels and hauling ass right out of there.

“Toss the stick,” the voice isn’t as airy anymore, and instead of hearing it all around you hear it in your head? “Do it!”

You chuck the stick aside and push forward to add some distance between you and it.

“Turn left here!” Once again you feel like you’re choosing the lesser of two evils as you allow the voice in your head to direct you through the nightmare forest.

Eventually you come barrelling out of the tree line to a decrepit street and at the end is a large, albeit, run down, house.

“Keep going, you’re almost there!”

You scurry to the only house on the street as you hear the thing bearing down on you, you’re just meters away from the staircase, leading up to the porch, when a burning, white hot, pain tears through your shoulder.

You cry out as you fall forward, gagging at the sight of blood gushing from your shoulder onto the road in front of you.

The smell of iron hits your tastebuds and it makes you sob. You crawl towards the house as the thing stalks your cowering form, whimpering as it snarls at you.

You can feel the fight starting to drain from your body, the pain in your shoulder is fading away as darkness starts to cloud your eyes and mind. At least if you bleed out you won’t have to watch it tear you apart.

You collapse flat against the road as your vision starts to go hazy, the last thing you hear is a loud, deep sound as black boots make their way into your line of site and then nothing.

-x-

Eddie curses as he watches the Demogorgon bear down on you, his face scrunches up in anger as it claws at your back and you let out a heartbreaking scream.

He opens the window and runs across the roof before jumping onto the wet grass. As he makes his way down the road, noting how close you came, the creature steps away.

He feels something stirring in his chest. Something his hasn’t felt for a long time as he watches you try your hardest to crawl away.

Perhaps it’s pity? It feels a bit like pity.

Eddie lets out a dark growl from deep in his chest and the creature starts to slowly retreat back into the forest, smart enough to know it wouldn’t win a fight against him.

He scoops you up in his arms, nostrils flaring when the sweet smell of your blood hits his nose. With all the recent hubbub he completely looked over the scent.

He holds you closer to his chest, listening to your slowing heartbeat, as he races back to his home. He takes you into the living room and rests you gently on the couch before kneeling by your head and shrugging off his leather jacket.

He brings his wrist to his lips and tears into the skin, he has an advanced healing factor so he’s gotta be quick, before pressing his arm to face.

He uses his spare hand to open your lips and begins to clench and unclench his wrist so blood will trickle into your mouth.

He has to repeat the process a few times but after twenty minutes your heart rate has picked back up to average speed and your breathing is back to normal. He lifts you gently and checks the injury noting all that remains are three long jagged scars.

As you sleep relatively peacefully on his couch he takes the moment to observe you.

He didn’t plan on partaking in this event. He didn’t need to. A common misconception on vampires is that they need to drink regularly, when in fact the digestive system is more like a snakes. Drinking an adult human dry could last him a good six months or more. Seeing as his organs technically no longer function he wouldn’t gain an appetite as quickly as the others do.

But that’s not to say he doesn’t enjoy the hunt, he loves going out there and terrorising people even more then Robin does but lately he’s been missing… something.

He could hear your thinking from miles away — literally — he tried to block it out but your voice was so delicate it lured him in. Then he heard you quoting The Hobbit and he was full blown invested.

With your focus elsewhere it was easy to slink into the dark recesses of your mind, he was gonna do some digging so he can freak you out and entertain himself but listening to you mumble about elves amused him.

He didn’t mean to chuckle, and honestly it doesn’t really matter cause mortals could very rarely hear him, but you reacted to it and that peaked his interest.

The path he laid out for you would have lead you straight into his backyard but you decided to be difficult.

Either way, you’re here now.

And he’s not planning on letting you go.

-x-

You awaken with a sharp yelp, the painful nightmare forcing you to wake as you sit up instantly from the bed.

…

Wait bed?

You slap the soft comforter under your hands a few times and take in the image of the room.

There’s a few candles around the room emitting a soft glow and if your weren’t in a terrifying hellscape it would even seem pretty.

Memories of the previous night — was it last night? How long have you been sleeping? — come swarming back into your mind and you abruptly reach up and touch your shoulder.

It’s a bit tender but not sore… and the shirt isn’t ripped.. hang on a second, this isn’t my shirt!

You look at the upside down scrawling of ‘Def Leppard’ across your chest as you try and add two and two together.

“It’s my shirt,” a deep chuckle comes from the entryway.

You let out a girlish shout and jump to the other side of the mattress.

“Who ar—“

“I’m Eddie, you’re in The UpsideDown and no I’m not going to hurt you.” He answers your questions with a smug smirk.

What the fuc—

“Language, princess!” He playfully scolds as he steps forward.

“So you can read my thought?” You ask plainly.

“Yeah,” he shrugs, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Huh,” you slump forward and look at the comforter.

“‘Huh’? That’s all I get is a ‘huh’?” He huffs out a laugh.

“I just got attacked by a faceless demon,” you slowly speak before shrugging, “I guess anything is possible.”

Eddie nods and inwardly lets out a sigh, he’s never kept a — prisoner? captive? — person like this before so he wasn’t sure if he’d have to spell out the situation. He’s glad he doesn’t.

“So,” you let out a sigh, “what are you?”

“Vampire.” He states.

“‘Vampire,’” you suck air through your teeth as you repeat the word over, “Eddie… The Vampire.”

“Not a very vampire-y name, I know,” he laughs.

“Count Eddie?” You offer, fighting down the beginnings of a smile.

“No no,” he huffs playfully, “just ‘Eddie’.”

You nod your head as you take in some smaller details of the room, the bed was large and the covers were black with splashes of red patterns across it, from what you could see in the dark the canopy that hung over the bed matched the comforter but had lace around the trim.

There was an old dresser and closet and two windows, one straight ahead of the bed at the end of the room and one to the right.

You slowly stood and walked over to the window next to the bed, it faced out towards the road and you let out a shuddered breath when you see the creature near the house.

But to your surprise the beast doesn’t step foot on the property line, it stays at the edge and lets out screeches and growls as it stalks back and forth like a rabid dog.

You watch as several other creatures, some on four legs and others standing on two, come into view and gather around the area.

Are you safe in here?

“They won’t come in,” Eddie answers your silent question, “not if they know what’s good for them.” 

“How did you heal my shoulder?” You turn to the curly haired boy, who looked to be around the same age as you.

“Used my blood,” he explains.

You scrunch up your nose in disgust making him laugh, “how?”

“I put it in your mouth and you drank it down,” he grins and you let out a long ‘eewww!’ “You seemed to enjoy it,” he shrugs with a chuckle.

“Does that mean I’m a vampire?” You ask, not sure how to feel about that.

He lets out a full belly laugh now, which is quite honestly a little insulting, before gasping out a “no, of course not!”

“I don’t think my question warranted that reaction,” you scowl.

“My blood can heal wounds depending on the damage,” he begins, ignoring your remark, “but to turn someone: I first would have to drink from them, they would have to drink from me and then I’d have to kill them.” He shrugs like it’s that simple.

“You’d have to kill them?” You scoff with a look of shock.

“Well I don’t have to,” he exaggerates his head movements, “they can kill themselves — the point is they have to die with my blood in their body.”

“Ah,” is all you say before walking towards the bed.

You sit in silence as you pick at a loose thread on the red and black plaid pyjamas.

“So, what now?” You ask.

“You can’t leave,” his voice is soft, the playfulness gone.

“Why?” You bite your lip, three simple words managing to crack your heart as tears sting your eyes.

“You just can’t,” his voice is a little firmer, “there’s no way out that wouldn’t cause a rift through the “agreement” we have going.”

You nod your head with a defeated sigh, “so I’m to waste away here until you get bored of me?”

“Well, I wouldn’t have phrased it quite like that, no.” The lighthearted tone returning to his voice.

“Are my friends—“ you hope he hears the rest of your question and doesn’t make you say it.

“Yeah,” he gives a solemn nod.

-x-

Eddie watches as your face falls and your mind starts to fill with questions and misery, it makes he want to reach over and and scoop you into his arms.

Sure he's kept some his prey alive in the past, a guy gets lonely, usually after a week the sex gets boring and the blood tastes stale so he drinks them dry before tossing their bodies out to the Demogorgons.

But ever since he was made aware of your presence he’s felt a tug, at first it felt like pity and some of it was but it’s more warm.

Eddie hasn’t felt warm in a long, long time.

“Are you the only humanoid in the area?” Your voice shocks him but he smiles at the softness of it.

“No,” he shakes his head, “there’s a group of us.”

“Vampires?” Your curious eyes meet his and he can’t help but fall deep into your gaze.

“Nope,” he pops the ‘p’, “just me.”

You nod at his words but don’t turn away from his face and he feels the urge to elaborate.

“So, there’s Steve; he’s a werewolf,” he watches your face scrunch up into a cute expression but you remain quiet so he can continue, “Nancy is a Succubus,” he winks and inwardly preens when you crack a small smile, “and Robin is a Siren.”

By the end of his explanation you’re staring at the comforter with a far away look in your eye, when he peers into your mind there’s nothing but silence.

And that actually freaks Eddie out. He’s used to silence. He’s spent years in silence. He loves silence.

Or he did, but since being graced with your voice he realises that he never wants to hear silence again.

“Hey,” his hopes it comes out more gentle then a little panicked, “you still with me?” His chuckle is nervous.

“I’m here,” your voice sounds distant and it scares him.

He places his hand on yours and your eyes instantly snap them, he bites back a groan at the warmth from your skin. It’s practically burning up his arm but in the best way.

“Are you hungry?”

You look at his face and he notices immediately how your eyes have returned to their previous tenderness.

“Real food?” Your tone is skeptical and he scoffs with playful eye roll.

“F’course!” He grins and you stand from the bed, his smile drops instantly at the loss of heat but he snaps himself out of it when you walk around the frame.

-x-

He leads you down the large hallway to the winding staircase and brings you to the spacious kitchen before flicking on the lights.

You squint as the harsh light pierces your eyes and you flip Eddie off as he laughs at your discomfort.

“I didn’t realise you had power,” you rub your eyes.

“We’re not barbarians,” he shrugs and opens the cupboard.

You look around and notice how normal the kitchen, hell the whole house, looks. If it wasn’t for the view of the desolate dystopian landscape out the window you could convince yourself this was normal.

“You have food?” You ask as you eye cans and packets of things lining the shelves. You’re hit with a seriously?’ look and you throw up your hands, “what? You’re a vampire! Can you even eat food?”

“It does nothing for me ‘digestive’ wise, but I still enjoy the taste of things,” he explains.

This guy acting like I’ve memorised the whole vampire encyclopaedia. you inwardly scoff.

Eddie throws the tin lid off the soup can in your direction, “don’t be rude!”

The smile on his face instantly gives away his ‘angry’ façade as he turns to place the soup on the stove.

“Hey, if you’re rifling through my head you’re bound to come across something you won’t like,” you argue in your defence.

“Impossible,” he said it quietly but you still heard and it causes a small smile to appear on your face.

Maybe this won’t be so bad?

——————————————

Taglist:

@eiriancrow

[glittervame]

My stupid bugs

This is the most random shit. Don't mind it <3

Heartbreak High x Oc! Reader, it's a teen drama you know what to expect

I felt like my world was spinning in circles, I couldn't hear anything over this stupid ringing in my ears, I stumbled over my feet as I tried to get fresh air shoving people out of my way and trying to get to the quad. "Gem? Amethyst- I need you to breathe" A hand slightly touches the lower of my back and I quickly flench away before calming down a bit when I just realize it was just the three bug boys.

"Sorry," I apologize, my voice is shaky and it sounds like I'm on the verge of crying. "Crazy in there, right?" I sigh as blink the tears away.

Dusty frowns, "Gem...we saw the wall, you know we don't see you or Ant any different" He glances at said boy, "You guys are still our friends"

I glance to his right hesitantly, looking at Spider, his eyes meet mine and he nods. It was probably one of the only times I had seen him so serious, I sag in relief wiping the the stray tears away, and giving the bugs a small grin.

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

I found myself sitting in between Spider and Quinni in a musty, boy-sweat-smelling gym when the doors opened holy shit harps. She had buzzed off all her hair and she was rocking the hardcore emo look. "God her hair" Sasha whispered from behind me, "Is she ok?"

"Pack it up eleven!" Missy yelled to the girl who was walking to her seat. Amerie jumped out of her seat and rushed towards Harper-

"Sit down Amerie," Woodsy said into the mike making the girl freeze, she sighed, "I'm a woke woman, I enjoy sex as much as the next person-" laughs ripple across the crowd, "Really don't need to know!" I yelled towards her she rolled her eyes. "-But reputation is everything and this map," she gestured toward the old stairwells, "has jeopardized your reputation and the reputation of our school on the first day back"

She sighed disappointedly before looking at her assistant, "We are currently in the process of contacting all the parents of everyone on the map-" groans could be heard from across the room, "I strongly suggested that there are to be no more parties, shindigs, or gathos. Alcohol equals poor choices The risk-taking behaviors outlined on this map are unacceptable. Hartley High prides itself on being a safe environment." There was a handful of laughs, "But this is a wake-up call that we are not doing enough. Oh, and we will find out who did this. Get to class. Go." She shouts pointing at the gym doors.

I was going to call after Amerie as she was running after Haper but Woodsy beats me to it, "Miss Wadia. Come with me." I stop in my tracks and lean into the hand that was wrapping around my waist, "Let's go Gem" Ant ushers me out the door.

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

Sitting on the bleachers against the wall I was playing with Dustys' hair and watching the other boys play basketball when Amerie walked back into the room trailing after Harper, "Honestly she looks like a dog" I muttered looking at the pair.

"Why haven't you answered my texts? Oi! Harp! Where have you been? Firstly, your hair. Extreme, but I love it. Secondly, Woodsy knows. I didn't tell her about you, don't worry." I narrow my eyes at her words.

"I'm not worried" Harper states plainly as she blinks at the girl across from her.

"Thirdly, Dusty spoke to me so we're pretty much dating..." I roll my eyes at Amerie's words, narcissistic bitch.

"I don't give a shit"

"What's up with you? Hello. Didn't you hear me? I took the fall for you." She rolled her eyes like it was the obvious.

"I didn't ask you to do that."

"Shut up. You're my best mate." Amerie laughs

"Not anymore." Harper sneers, shutting her down quickly.

It was like watching a tennis match, the bystander's eyes in the gym bounced back and forth between the two girls and you could cut the tension with a knife. Some students had already started to pull out their phones to record.

"What are you talking about?"

"fuck off," Harper says more aggressively

"Okay, Harper, I don't get it."

"Of course you don't." she rolls her eyes

"Well, then tell me."

"I said get off me. I'm fucking done with you!"

"Fight, fight, fight!" a slight smirk passes over my lips as I see the students egg the girls on.

Amerie goes to grab Harper but the blond shoves her which causes Amerie to pin her giants against the wall, "What the fuck Harper? Stop! Why are you doing this? What is wrong with you!?" Harper bashes her forehead against her noes causing Anmerie to fall on the floor with a bloody noes. Quinnin went over to see if she was ok but ended up getting sneezed on, blood splattering all over her face, "ew"

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

I grip my solo cup like it was a lifeline as I clutch onto Harper, her blond hair falling onto her face, "Bloody love you, We stick together yeah?" She nods, "Forever together, the tree musketeers" My eyeliner and face makeup glow in the dark lights my face grins as I get handed another drink by Amerie, "Drink up bitches we're getting fucked!" I rush to the dance floor with the two girls laughing along with them.

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

"Why'd she do it? Crazy bitch." Ant seeths, "My mums going to kill me because of her"

I slide into the seat next to him, "Who did what?"

Spider glanced at me, "Amerie wrote the map"

My blood runs cold, as my eyes instantly find the girl who was talking to Sasha, before standing and making my way over.

"Oi, Sash! So you've picked her side?" The black haired girl asks

Sasha gives her a bewildered look, "Are you kidding me? Dude, everyone's pissed. You broke people up. You outed people. And all of that work Missy and I did to stay friends after we broke up, that's fucked." Her eyes barely meet mine and I wince.

"Doesn't mean anything now, because... Harper did the map too." Amerie says it was obvious and she did nothing wrong.

"You know what really shits me?" I hiss as I shove her back so she stumbles over her feet, "When people can't own up to their actions, You outed me to the whole school you bitch, I told you that in confidence because you were my friend! Didn't think you'd write it on a public wall for all eyes to see you sick fuck." I harshly push her back again so her back hits the brick wall of the school.

"You outed not just me but my friends" I take a deep breath before continuing, "Look, I hope you're okay...But that map is a real dog, man. And I just think you need to do some work on yourself. Like, away from us." I gestured to the people behind me in the quad, and people started laughing at the girl in front of me. "I don't want you back Wadia"

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

The intercoms screech as they turn on, "Will the following students please meet in classroom 5D: Amerie Wadia, Harper McLean, Sasha So, Missy Beckett, Dustin Reid, Spencer White," Ant elbows Spider making fun of him, "Anthony Vaughn" his smile quickly fades off of his face and then he rolls his eyes as Spence grins at him.

"Sounds like a bunch of dickheads" Darren says munching on a snack and then handing a piece to Quinni when they're finished.

"Darren Rivers"

"Damit" Darren curses and I grin at him, wiggling my eyebrows and waving him bye.

"Quinn Gallagher-Jones, Douglas Piggott, Malakai Mitchell." I sigh happily lying down on a picnic table and waving my friends bye as they walk away.

"Amethyst Rivers"

"Damit!" I yell out in frustration, I hear Darren bark out a laugh before I follow behind them.

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

As I walk into the room, my bag slung over my shoulder, I hear Woodsy yelling at Spider to get off the table he's sitting on. I duck as a wad of paper gets thrown in my direction, "Whore" I say to Ant, "Slut!" He grins back as I sit between him and the Spider.

"Map Bitch!" Spider whistles at her like an owner trying to get a dog's attention, "Map Bitch."

Amerie snaps her head around glaring daggers at the new kid sitting next to her, "What cunt?" He backs away, "Nice to meet you too"

"Come on Douglas..." Woodsy complains ushering him into his seat.

Spider perks up, "Oi, eshay bah! How was stereo brah?" The group around them laugh at his joke and Dusty pats him on the back.

I hang over Spider, arms dangling around his neck, "So cemetery tomorrow?" I lowered my voice so Woodsy couldn't hear us, my eyes looking around the group.

"Yeah boy!" Dusty and Ant dab each other up, "It's going to be a rager!"

Darren turns around their pink silk wrap string falling over his shoulder, "Oi, uh, what's the cemetery?" they ask eyebrow lifting.

I go to open my mouth but Spider beats me to it, "None ya biz, bong water"

"Ok, settle down thank you," Woodsy raises her voice before Spider can say anything else, Another teacher walks into the room that I've never seen before but as I look around it seems like some students recognized her.

"Hi, everyone. I'm Miss Josephine Obah, but you can call me Jojo. Kind of like, "Yo-yo," but J." She laughed at herself but seeing as no one else was laughing she cleared her throat, "I'm an English teacher, so I know some of you. But I'm sure you're all wondering why you're here. Well, your names were on the map in the stairwell. The one that's out of bounds" She looks at Amerie.

The new kid raises his hand, "Um, what map?" His face is full of confusion.

Jo-jo gives him a deadpan look, " Okay, very funny. Look, peeps, we're not dumb. We know a lot of you are sexually active, but we're concerned this map demonstrates a real lack of respect for one another when it comes to sexual relationships. So we want to address it head-on. This is a special class that aims to give you clear and accessible information about sex and intimacy...A sexual literacy tutorial."

"SLT. So we're sluts? Jo-jo, are you calling your students sluts?" I grin at her as I watch her squirm when Spider starts chanting with Ant and Dusty.

"Sluts! Sluts! Sluts!"

Jo-jo waves at everyone to be quiet, "That's enough. Come on, everyone. This class will go back to the basics on sex and...Because clearly, you all have a lot to learn in that department. It'll happen twice a week, in your own time." The class lets out collective protests ring out through the room and Jo-jo hesitates to finish, "Until..."

"No, until we judge that you started to respect each other and yourselves. You have to attend every class or it'll go on your permanent record." Woodsy finishes for her.

Ant looks up in surprise, "Wait, we have permanent records?"

"This is sex jail!"

"Thanks a lot, map bitch" Ant glares with the rest of the class at the girl as she shrinks in her seat.

"Sorry. Um, it's actually my first day. I don't think I'm supposed to be in here." The new kid raises his hand in protest.

"Legend! Made it to the map before you even started!" Spider cheers to the boy, The kid turns around in his seat to look at Spider and I shoot him a wink as I grin, and he swiftly turns back around.

"All right everybody up!" Jo-jo ushers to us, "Okay, now clear these tables to the side, please. And lift them. don't scrape them along the floor. Thank you. Now, I want you all to start walking around the room. Come on. Walking. Good, you know how to walk. Now, I want you to choose three other people to start shaking hands with. Shaking, shake... Good, you know how to shake. Shaking. And..." She looks around the room.

"Spencer," He raises his hand, "You have genital crabs-"

Darren laughs, "Checks out"

"-Not in real life, Darren, for the purposes of this game. Put your hand up, Spencer. Hand up, Spencer. Now. Hands up, who shook hands with Spencer." Me, Ant, and Dusty raise our hands "Anwo shook hands with them?"

More people raise their hands, "And who shook hands with them?" everyone has their hands up except for Amerie, "You all have genital warts" The class snickers.

"I thought it was crabs?" the new kid chimes in

"Right. Crabs. Thank you, um..."

"Malakai"

"Malakai. Thank you. You all have genital crabs, except for you, Amerie. Well done, What does this highlight the need for?"

"Stay away from Spider, he's chat" Ca$h comments from his corner. I laugh at his comment and ruffle Spiders' hair.

"Fuck off, guys!" Spider snaps

"No! Condoms" Woodsy yells, standing by the door.

I grab my bag and make my way over to Spider and Dusty who was talking to Amerie, I wrap my arms around Spider to tug him down so I can get on his back.

"Hey, um, did we hook up?" Dusty asks confused.

"No you didn't Dusty," I say staring down the girl, "She would've been boasting about it."

"Yeah, I didn't think so but it says here-" He points at his phone showing the map. "It isn't anything Dusty," Her face was visibly turning red. "There's like a...It's like a gold line between our names?" He furrows his brows

"Gold line means destined, like destined to be," Spider grins, "She wants you dusty" Ant starts making kissing noises and I shove his head to the side.

"Simp!" I call after Amerie as she walks out of the room.

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

With a soft sigh, Spencer lowers his head between my legs and presses his lips against my folds. He begins by gently licking along the length of my slit, teasing and exploring every inch of my sensitive skin. His warm breath fanning over my clit only serves to heighten the sensation, making me arch my back and grip his shoulder.

As he continues to pleasure you with his mouth, Spencer begins to use his tongue more assertively, flicking and circling my clit with precision. He moans against my skin, his hands cupping your hips as he thrusts his tongue deeper inside me. The feeling of being so thoroughly devoured by his mouth, his expertise in bringing me so much pleasure, sends shudders of anticipation coursing through my body.

His hands move up to your hips, gripping them firmly as he sucks on your clit, drawing it into his mouth and flicking it with his tongue in a rhythmic pattern. You can feel the pressure building within you, the need for release growing stronger with each passing second. With a final, long drawn-out lick, Spencer pulls away from me, watching as my eyes flutter closed and my breath hitches.

"Are you close?" he whispers, his voice thick with desire.

I nod frantically, unable to speak past the wave of pleasure that washes over me. He smiles, satisfied, and then leans in again, running his tongue along my slit and teasing my sensitive bundle of nerves. With one final thrust of his tongue, he pushes against my clit, sending me over the edge. My body convulses in a powerful orgasm, my legs shaking uncontrollably as I cry out his name.

Spencer keeps up his ministrations, licking and sucking until the last tremor subsides, his tongue lapping at my folds like a lick of flame. When I'm finally able to catch my breath again, he pulls away, his lips swollen and red from the contact. With a satisfied smile, he looks up at me, meeting your eyes.

"Better?" he asks, his voice a low rasp.

I nod, unable to form words as I try to process the incredible sensations that still linger in my body. I reach down between my legs, feeling sticky wetness where Spencer had been, and let out a soft moan. 

"Bloody hell," I breathe as I look at my phone, looking at the time, we have ten more minutes until we have to get ready for pregame." 

Spencer grins at me, "Good" then he disappears back between my legs.

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

♫ Don't you just wanna wake up, dark as a lake? Smelling like a bonfire, lost in a haze? ♫

The music thumped in the background as I was curling my hair, "Hey fuck face! Can you get me a drink?" I yell to the other room. "What do you want?" "Anything is fine no beer though!" I yell back.

♫ If you're drunk on life, babe, I think it's great. But while in this world ♫

"Okay, got the eye shadow just where I want it," I say, admiring my work in the mirror. "Now for some lipstick... hmm, red or nude?" I pick up a deep red lipstick and a nude gloss, holding them both up to her lips before deciding on the gloss. "Yeah, that'll be perfect. Just enough color without being too obvious." As I finish applying my makeup, I take one last sip of her champagne and decide it's time to get ready.

♫ I think I'll take my whiskey neat, My coffee black, and my bed at three ♫

I grab my favorite gold body chain and my black lace ankle boots, slipping them on before doing a quick spin in front of the mirror. "Not too bad, not too bad," I say with a satisfied nod. With my party look complete, I down the rest of my champagne before heading downstairs to meet with the rest of the boys

♫ You're too sweet for me, You're too sweet for me ♫

"What'd you get me?" I lean over the counter look, and grab the drink. Ant and Dusty shrug and point to Spider. "I did roulette with the dinks, trust, they're going to taste good" He grins, pushing the cup to her lips.

♫ I think I'll take my whiskey neat, My coffee black, and my bed at three ♫

I take a sip and let the sweet, citrusy flavors dance on my tongue. The music plays on, setting the perfect ambiance for pre-game party. I take another sip, savoring the taste, and feel a warm, fuzzy sensation spread through my chest. It's not just the alcohol talking; looking at my friends as they argue over what drinks we're bringing. I love my stupid bugs.

♫ You're too sweet for me, You're too sweet for me ♫

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

[myimaginarywonderland]

Honestly disgusted by how many of you are talking about which team you all want to succeed right now and not about the giant elephant in the room that is the entire RB situation.

Because there are so many messed up things here that have such huge consequences around the entire sport and make me feel vile when thinking about it.

First of all: The victim of whatever happened at RB should have never been made into a public meme. The fact that inappropriate behavior like this is still okay in the workplace is an absolute shame. No boss should ever hold the power he has over any subordinate employee in whatever way possible. And especially not when it comes to using a position of power to make anything close to a sexual advance.

Second of all, this should have never become public in the way it did. Not only was there too much leak which therefore severely affected the public opinion but it also should have never been talked about the way it did for all parties involved especially the victim in this situation. The way this came out and has been about anything but what actually happened because it could not be verified is so fucking horrible to any party involved. This should have been handled quietly without the publics eye.

Thirdly, should whatever happened been of a sexual behaviour, the amount of trauma that the victim has been through and has experienced because of this publicity is inexcusable. The way people have turned this situation into a joke , a meme is disgusting and shows how women are never save. It shows why so many of us don't share our experience, why so many don't talk about what happened to them because it gets turned into a fucking joke.

Not to mention the amount of tweets and reactions in support of Horner, publicly declaring relief, all coming from men, leaving yet another bad taste. Showing that it will not matter, that man will always choose to stand with some other man they know before most men will ever believe let alone side with a female victim. The amount of support for Horner without any clear guess what happened shows how men don't care about women, how it will always be skepticism. How woman have to fight to even have a voice and how to get shut down because "He would never."

And lastly the way this has been dragged into the entire fucking F1 paddock when all the victim wanted was accountability and punishment for something someone did wrong. The way this traumatic experience has been used as a fucking E-Mail to basically a male dominated field, is baffling. Should this move have come from anyone other than the victim themselves, I am beyond furious. I am enraged thinking that someone thought it was okay to use another person's traumatic experience as a public spectacle. I am beyond sick at the thought that woman all over the motorsport world now have to listen to men giving their opinion on something they will never understand, on something they can never understand. I am beyond livid at the fact that this will have caused old traumatic experience to come up again in women all in the motorsport world. I am being terrified of what safety issues some women like the victim herself probably now have to go through in order to hide what happened to them.

I am beyond disgusted that the F1 world has handled this, how RB have handled this and how once again, a traumatic experience that probably has happened to more than 70% of women, has been publicly turned into a joke in one of the most male dominated sports in history.

I am beyond angry at what dumb remark this situation will bring forward.

I am beyond ready to be disappointed when I will see multiple men in this sport I might have looked up to, probably turn out to be misogynistic and uneducated in something they would never give a second thought about.

But most importantly I am beyond exhausted that once again, the F1 paddock knows no understanding of privacy or safety.

Obviously if the message turns out to be faked some things might not stand but the fact that it puts something serious as sexual harassment as a joke just proves my point.

[maedaex2combo]

Y/N: Self-Insert yourself into the Homestuck Epilogues

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Pairings: Dirk Strider x Reader (Mostly platonic / One sided)

Warnings: Mentions of suicide, Angst, Homestuck Epilogues plot

Word Count: 10.4k

Summary: After not hearing from your best friend Dirk for a while, you decide to go check in on him. For some reason, you feel like this isn't going to be the same feels-jam talk you two normally have. The air is different. Something is happening.

A/N: Okay first off, please know that this story is based directly on the plot of the Homestuck Epilogues. It’s supposed to be right before the Candy/Meat timelines split and take place. I know it’s literally in the title, but just to be safe bc I know how some people feel about it. Secondly, I project a lot to write my fics so the backstory about Y/Ns feelings for Karkat and Dave are very self-indulged. Accidentally became kinda important to the plot. My bad. Thirdly, please forgive me if Dirk seems out of character at all. This is just how I felt he would’ve been before he became like the ultimate Dirk or whatever tf goes on in the epilogues 💀. Anyways. Again, tread lightly if heavy topics like suicide are triggering for you. It gets kind of intense. I just felt like this boy needed some comforting when I was reading all those chapters. OKAY IM DONE NOW. Enjoy!!!

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“DIRK!” your voice shouts pointlessly at the closed metal door in front of you, for the umpteenth time. You’re banging at the door unapologetically, like you have no shame, which you don’t at this point. Not when it came to your best friend, and trying to get him out of his self-inflicted depressive/dissociative episodes. 

This episode in particular had been especially hard to get him out of. Dirk had a habit of shutting his friends out when he got to feeling a certain way, and not even letting them in when they came to check on him in person. He seemed to have a soft spot for certain people, but even they couldn’t always get through to him. You included, as well as Jake, Jane, Roxy, and Dave. But, usually you were more invasive and better at tearing his walls down when he built them up. The amount of times you pried your way into listening to a Jake or self-villainizing related rant from Dirk, WILLINGLY, was impressive at this point. Lets be real, Dirk doesn’t open up about his feelings on the usual. All raw and feels-jam like, like your other friends do. 

In summary though, his little shut-in episodes did little to keep you out of his life.

However, he hasn’t been answering your messages for weeks, actually maybe a month now. You haven’t been good at keeping track at this point. He doesn’t ever ignore everyone for this long, especially you. Now that you’re here, and he’s not answering the door, it’s honestly starting to worry you. What could he be doing??? Is he even home? There’s no way he could be…..

Nah. 

He’s just in there being all dreary right now, you know it.

“DIRK OPEN THE DAMN DOOR OR ILL FIND A WAY IN. YOU KNOW I WILL!” You continue banging on heavy metal. You can hear it echo into the chamber behind it, assumingely empty unless Dirk is a literal fucking dickhead. Which he is. But you give him the benefit of the doubt. Looks like you’ll have to find a way in. 

This is really annoying. More than usual. Of course, you don’t ever mind putting this much effort into Dirk. He’s someone you care about very much, so this type of thing just works like clockwork for you. You have a desire to be there for Dirk in a way you feel he needs someone to be. It’s probably inconvenient for him most times, but you try to ignore that intrusive thought. 

Right now though, this is especially annoying because you’ve been trying to contact Dirk for weeks about your own personal issues. It’s always a back and forth of issue-sharing with you two, as friendships should be. But honestly, your life isn’t super eventful, not as much as Dirks somehow. So, you don’t usually have all that much to rant about. Now, the one time your life feels like it’s going to shit and you REALLY need him, he decides to swan dive straight into a pool of “fuck everyone, especially (y/n)” and dissolve into it like a damn spoonful of salt.

That analogy was awful, you can’t even come up with clever things anymore, your head is so disoriented. You launch up into the air with little to no grace at all, so fast that you forgot about the metal hood hovering over the front of the studio and smash your head right into it. Fucking OW. 

You’re silent for a moment, absorbing the pain like when you stub your toe and you just stand in shock for a minute straight. Then, after a due moment of silence, you let out a loud aggravated groan of pain and annoyance. 

“UUUUAGGHHHHUGHH!!!”

Yeah that’s basically how it would be spelt out, I guess. 

Using all the annoyed force your body can muster, god powers and all, you punch through the orange-tinted window in front of you. Not physically, with your hands, but with a sheer force wave of strength you just pushed out upon throwing your fists out and down in front of you as you yelled out. The window cracks and shatters, the whole action being very anime-like. 

Wow.

That was kinda a lot. Maybe chill out for a second? I mean, you’ve been known to do some pretty crazy and powerful stuff back in your Sburb days, fighting enemies and all. But there was no reason to unleash that on Dirks poor window. You know he’s gonna have to reinstall that now, and it probably won’t be of glass this time.

Nonetheless, you float inside, accidentally cutting yourself on a shard still intact in the window frame. You hiss a little at the cut, but it doesn’t stop you. You’re back to being set on finding Dirk. 

It doesn’t take long to find him, of course. You enter the largest room in his studio down on the first floor, down a long hallway, basically the center of his place. This is where he keeps most of his materials and works. It could basically be a big high-ceiling living room, and you’re pretty sure it was once decorated like one, but now it’s covered in metal, tools, junk, etc. You find him drilling away at whatever’s in front of him, back turned to you. 

You casually float down from the balcony above, most of the frantic anger from earlier out of your system now that you’ve found him. And he’s okay.

“Yo. Did you hear me banging at the door or are you deaf now?” You say, half joking, but also a little genuinely.

He doesn’t look at you when he responds, ever focused on his work. He stops drilling to be able to talk at normal volume, and to switch to another tool. “Of course I did. You’re quite loud, I don’t know if you noticed.” 

You roll your eyes. “Oh, okay. Just wanted to confirm you are as much of an asshole as I assumed you were.” You’re still hovering an inch above the ground as you glide over to face the front of him.

“Oh please, you’ve been very aware of my asshole-ness long before you even met me face to face.” 

You laugh a little at this. It’s true, in a way. Even before you knew this timelines version of Dirk, Dave would always rant to you about his Bro. So you assumed he would be an asshole way before you even really met who you’re looking at right now. 

“You’re right. But how do you know that by ‘assumed’, I meant that in recent tense and not one that dated back to my pre-teen years?” You shoot back.

You know he would usually like your comment, but he doesn’t laugh or react much at all.

You frown, because he’d normally have a witty comeback to a stupid question like that. But the conversation seems to have cut off there, when he doesn’t reply for a while and continues operating. It stays like this for a bit, slightly-uncomfortable silence as you stare down at him and he doesn’t look back. You finally slump down, into a criss-cross sitting position in front of him while he works. You stay this way, the only sound echoing the room being made from the burning metal, and you wait for him to be done with this piece before you nudge into his personal life. It’s the respectful thing to do, you know how serious he is about his mechanic works. Whatever he’s doing is probably of some type of importance.

You watch him carefully use a… a uh…. Damn what is that thing called? That little fire-like tool that’s used for welding? A welder? I don’t know and I can’t be fucked to search the internet for it. You know what I mean. He’s sweating just slightly on his freckle-spotted arms from the heat, and you try not to linger on his mussels for too long as you examine him right now. He’s wearing his wielding mask, unfortunately, so you can’t see his face. The eye part is shaped like his shades, and you can’t imagine how that’s practical at all. What a dork. But not like John Egbert adorable-like dork. Dirks a dork in a cool admirable way. It’s hard to explain. 

Another while goes by like this, shrouded in a more comfortable silence this time. You don’t look at him the entire time you wait, eventually you find yourself staring off into hallway behind him, chin in your hands. 

If you (the reader) haven’t picked it up by now, you obviously have a thing for Dirk. But you try not to acknowledge it most of the time, and you’re pretty sure no one knows about it. It kinda conflicts with your feelings you’ve had for Dave since you met him, and your feelings for Karkat you developed not long after spending time together on the meteor. It’d be weird to like Dave and his bro right? This bro, not his actual timeline bro obviously. Yeah, it’d be strange. You must have a thing for the Striders, you guess. But you try to push it into the back of your mind as often as possible. Dirks just your good friend, he’ll always be a friend to you. You want to be there for him because you care in a PLATONIC way. Of course. Even if you did acknowledge these feelings and act on them, he’d most definitely turn you down for various reasons. You know him too well. This is how the last 7 years have panned out, and it was only a few years ago that you even came to acknowledge your feelings that I just said we’re choosing not to acknowledge. 

Moving on.

“I’m assuming you broke one of my windows to get in. Do I have to go and fix that now?” He says, toneless. You cant even tell if he’s really upset.

“How’d you know?” You ask innocently.

“Aside from it being the most obvious way of breaking in besides picking my lock, which would be impossible. Remember when I said you’re loud?” 

You giggle a little. Yeah you guess theres no way he couldn’t have heard you, even though it was up on the second floor, down the hall. “Okay yeah, I totally busted your window, dude. Sorry about that. It was a mistake honestly, but you kinda deserved it for blatantly ignoring me!” 

“I wasn’t ignoring you, I was just busy.”

“Dirk. Busy with what? You haven’t answered me in like a month.” The conversation suddenly gets pretty confrontational without you meaning to make it so.

“I haven’t? Doesn’t feel like it’s been that long.” 

“Well it has.” You cross your arms, looking up at him “I really needed to talk to you! And I was really worried.” 

“Why would you be worried?” 

You frown at this, again. You’re not exactly sure what you were worried about. There were some specific worries that you wouldn’t say to him out loud, that come with having any friend as depressed as Dirk tends to be. They didn’t have to make sense, but they were always at the back of your mind.

“I don’t know. I just worry when you don’t answer for a while. You’ve never gone that long without texting me or calling me back.”

At this very real statement, Dirk doesn’t respond. He probably doesn’t know how to at first. Then, he pulls off his helmet, revealing his pretty face to you once again. You almost let out a sigh of relief. You just really love to look at this guy. His shades are on still, having worn them under the mask like a DORK. 

“Well, I’m totally fine so there’s nothing to worry about. Okay?” This is his best attempt at comforting you right now. You’re still not impressed. 

“I can see that now. But it would’ve been nice to know like a week or two ago.” You would look away to reinforce that you’re upset, but you can’t stop looking at him, while he’s assumingely making eye contact with you behind his shades. You’re trying your hardest to push back thoughts again.

He finally looks away and pushes himself up to stand, walking over to the pile of metal on the couch. “Hey don’t go getting all sentimental with me now. Starting to sound like Jake.” His voice feels off from how he normally talks, like he’s hollowly trying to say something he thinks he would say. “He’s actually been breathing down my neck all week, I’ve thought about blocking him at this point.”

You roll your eyes x2 combo. That last sentence definitely sounded like him, it’s one you’ve heard a million times. He never does it. This is good though, you can segway this into getting him to open up. 

“Jake, huh? You’re still talking to him? Didn’t you say you’d cut him off like- a million cut-offs ago?” 

“Yeah.” He picks the piece of metal up off the couch, knocking a few pieces next to it over onto the floor. “But I could never actually cut him off completely, you know that. With all the arrangements we have and whatever. I just meant for a little while so maybe I could get a fucking second to breathe.”

You nod. Fair enough, you guess. You still think it’s funny how much the tables have turned with them. Since Dirk used to tell you how he was the clingy one back when Sburb was still active. “How come he’s still bothering you so much? I thought he had gotten pretty distant from you in an attempt to get over you or something?” 

“I mean yeah he was like that, but lately our show’s been getting even more popular. Plus, with Jane’s upcoming announcement about the presidency, I’ve been trying to add more elements to amp up his popularity.”

You didn’t even think you could make Jake anymore popular than he already was on earth C, and you already knew of Janes presidency plan thing. Dirk told you a while ago, and you’ve tried so. SO hard not to tell Dave and Karkat yet, per Dirks request. “So why does this make him bother you more?”

“I made him pretty ambitious about the new season. He’s got all these ideas and plans he’s been shooting at me. Haven’t been responding obviously, which makes him bug me more.”

“Yeah, well, that’s what happens when you don’t talk to your friends for long periods of time, Dirk. The messages start to pile up. I wouldn’t call that ‘bugging’. He’s probably been messaging you a normal amount, and you’re just behind on responding.” 

“No no, you’re not friends with Jake like I am. Trust me. He has been giving an absolute fucking earful to me in text. Assuming there was an ear actually listening, and a mouth replying.”

“You’re not even reading the messages?”

“No.”

“What if it’s important?”

“I would know if it was anything that important, trust me.”

You sigh and lean back on your hands. Your arm stings a little and you suddenly remember the cut on your shoulder that you never tended to. Dirk didn’t even notice. Something inside you feels disappointed for some reason. “You’re really full of yourself, yknow that?”

“Yeah, I know.” His response is quick, without hesitation. You know he does. He self-loathes about it at least once every time you guys talk.

“I just wish you’d at least shoot me a text before you disappear for weeks being like ‘Hey! just so you know, I’m about to fuck off to not exist for a while! Don’t worry im not dead or anything!’”

“I’ll make sure to do that next time.” He says sarcastically, coming back over to where he was sitting to add the new piece of metal to his project. 

You groan, it almost feels like a growl. That makes you think about Jade. You groan again. “Can you just tell me what’s going on? This obviously isn’t like your other episodes which don’t really happen for more than maybe like a week at a time.” 

“We’re calling them ‘episodes’ now?” He asks, looking over at you, but still keeping his hands busy. You swear you can see him smirk a little. 

“Well, that’s what I call them. Sorry. That’s probably rude, I just don’t know how else to describe when you get like this.”

“Like what?”

“Reclusive? Distant? I’m assuming you haven’t been in contact with anyone this whole time.” 

“Yeah, I guess. It’s not a big deal though, you guys all have lives to be living, I don’t have to be out there all the time.”

“Out there? Dirk, sometimes I just want to talk to my friend. You can stay all shut in your studio, but the least you could do is answer me via text???” 

He’s back at work, mask down, attention to his project now. But you weren’t done yet.

“Dirk.”

He doesn’t answer. He’s avoiding the conversation so you don’t investigate further. Again, this is clockwork. 

“Dirk.” You insist again, standing up now. 

The cut on your shoulder is bleeding down the side of your arm now. “Can you please just tell me what’s wrong this time. Even if there’s nothing going on, you know that just talking it out DOES actually make you feel better. And I LIKE listening to you talk.”

He flinches a little at this, stoping his wielding for a second, but not any longer. He goes back to ignoring you.

You sigh. This is probably going to take a while. You start to walk down the hall towards the bathroom to find a bandaid and clean up the blood. 

When you’re far enough away, Dirk looks back in your direction, thinking that maybe you were leaving. A twinge of guilt flickers quickly in him, but he ignores it again and turns back to his project.

When you come back, you feel a bit refreshed. You had time to clear your head slightly. You decided that if he’s going to ignore you, you’re just going to wait until he HAS to talk to you. He can’t let it be silent forever, and you’re not leaving until he gets something out. Not like you’ve got anything better to do.

You move past him silently and over to what you’re pretty sure is a nice recliner chair, under all the cloth and metal. You start taking the metal off and placing it aside. This catches his attention, and he almost asks what the hell you’re doing, until he realizes what the hell you’re doing, and decides it’s not worth starting up a conversation again. 

Once all the metals shards are off the chair, you dust it off with your hands and take a seat. You just stare at him for a bit. When that soon gets boring, you lean back into the chair with a sigh, closing your eyes. Maybe you’ll take a nap.

It’s silent (aside from the wielding) for so long that you really do start falling into sleep. The sounds of him working were lulling you into relaxation for some odd reason. You can feel your consciousness just about to be pulled from under you when-

“So… what was it you needed to talk to me about?” Dirk asks from across the room. You hadn’t noticed he stopped working for a bit. The sound of his voice snapped your eyes open for a moment, but when you see he’s not even looking at you, you go right back to closing them.

“I just needed to rant about some stuff, maybe get some advice. But I don’t really think I should be having that conversation with you right now. It seems like you probably got your own stuff to sort out.” 

Dirk shrugs, but you can’t see anyways. “Not really. I mean, kind of. But you came here to see me, you might as well tell me instead of leaving this awkward silence while I work.” 

“I didn’t think it was awkward. But I didn’t come here to rant to you, I came here because I was worried.”

“Okay, sure, whatever. But you might as well tell me now that you’re here. I don’t mind.” 

You sigh. Should you really start this conversation? Would it be selfish to dump all your bullshit on your friend when he’s clearly going through it, even though he won’t talk about it? But he is asking for it at this point. You didn’t even bring it up. 

“Well?” He’s looking over at you when you open your eyes again. How long has he been looking?

You sigh again. “Alright… I’ll try not to drag it out too much.”

“Are you sure you’re capable of that type of self control?” He asks sarcastically.

“Oh, shut up.” you say, but you’re smiling. This man and his smartass. “Alright, well-“ 

And your rant begins. I’ll explain what the rant is about because I don’t want to have to type ours and dirks every action out throughout the whole length of this long conversation. You can just assume he’s listening intently, because he is, for the most part.

Overall, life on Earth C hasn’t really been all that great for anyone as of lately, that’s a given. It’s perfect here, sure, but perfect can only be perfect for so long, before it gets extremely boring. This is amplified x1000000 when you add in the fact that most of you are immortal. Forever is a long long time. However, on a more personal level, there’s a lot going on.

First of all, you’ve lived with Dave and Karkat since you got here. The three of you were best buddies on the meteor together, and decided to stick together after, even despite plenty of money to get your own places. You feel you kind of dug yourself into a hole with this one. Because while living with your best friends is so fun, you’re also not an idiot. You and everyone else on the planet can see the thing Karkat and Dave have for each other. And the fact that you have a crush on both of them, makes this not only awkward, but also painful. This whole situation isn’t new though. In fact, Dirks heard an earful about it for several years. The first year or so of living with them was great, then it backfired. You took it upon yourself to go on a lot of trips, some with Jade and Jake, some alone. You started getting into pottery and went around selling pieces, random art experiments. You tried to convince your two antisocial roomates to go sometimes, but you’re kinda glad they didn’t. You probably needed the distance. Eventually you moved out, only about a little over a year ago. You felt almost guilty, like your presence was keeping the two of them from being together (That definitely wasn’t it though, as Dirk reassures you. They’re both just dense and stubborn.) 

For the past year you’ve struggled with separation issues. Everyone knows you always liked to be with someone all the time. Though your trips alone were freeing and refreshing, you enjoyed the feeling of coming home to someone, or two someones. It hurt, spending the nights in your big empty home, lovely as it was. You had people over plenty, but it was always the nighttime when everyone left that got to you. You developed insomnia, dark circles under your eyes that won’t go away. This isn’t really new news either, but newer than the last. 

The CURRENT issue at hand, now that we have background story, is where Jade comes into the mix. Jade is a lovely girl, and you love her to death. The two of you hang out on many occasions, though you may not be as close with her as with others. You enjoyed her energy and attitude, it was contagious. But lately, she’s been… putting herself very closely into Dave and Karkats lives. Not that she wasn’t already around them a lot, she definitely was over pretty often. But it seems like ever since you left, she’s been there basically 24/7, like she lives there now. Not only that, but the boys have told you how she’s been making uncomfortable advances towards them, and isn’t hiding how she would like to be with the both of them seriously. Now… it’s not necessarily that you’re jealous. (Dirk gets a kick out at this. And by a kick I mean letting out a snort and ALMOST breaking into a chuckle, to your momentary annoyance.) But it’s especially frustrating for many reasons. Putting aside the obvious reason that you have the same feelings for them as she does. She’s basically ruining everything you gave up to try and help DaveKat happen. You moved yourself out of the equation to make room for maybe some progress, and she moved right in after you. They both love Jade as a friend, but you can tell that her advances make them uneasy just from the couple times you’ve witnessed it. You’re afraid she’ll ruin it for them. 

“So, you’re definitely not jealous?” Dirk asks, obviously being sarcastic. 

“Of course I am. I won’t deny it. I’m just saying it’s not the ONLY reason I’m upset about it.” You respond defensively.

“Okay. I mean, that makes sense. But I think you’re mostly just upset with yourself.”

You’re open your mouth to retort, but you stay quiet for a moment. “…You think?”

“Yeah. To me, it sounds like you’re mad at yourself because leaving them caused you to self sabotage into a life you’re not satisfied with. And now Jade is over there going after what she wants and you’re upset you couldn’t bring yourself to do the same.”

You’re a little offended by the accuracy of his blunt words. There are some things you need to defend though. “Okay well, maybe you’re somewhat right-“

“Somewhat?”

“-BUT, I only didn’t go for it because I knew they didn’t feel the same, and I didn’t wanna ruin our friendship. Or worse, their relationship.”

“How do you know they didn’t feel the same?”

……

How did you know?

“Well… I just thought it was pretty obvious. They just don’t act with me how they act with each other. You can just like… feel the different energy, I guess.” 

“But how would you know for sure if you never even went for it?”

Silence again. 

“…I don’t know…” you shuffle awkwardly in the chair, looking down at your lap and playing with your hands. “…So you think I should’ve done what Jade is doing?”

“Oh, definitely not.” He responds almost immediately. “She’s definitely gonna fuck their shit up.”

Your head shoots up at this, shocked. “WHAT?! But you were just saying that I should have gone for it!”

“Yes. But honestly I think you would have gone about it in a less uncomfortable way. And even if they did turn you down, or like- weirdly wiggle out of the situation like they do. Then at least you’d have a straight answer. But you didn’t ever bother trying at all.”

“I-“

“-AND furthermore, I think that if you had gotten a straight answer, it would’ve given you the closure you need, and you wouldn’t have to keep trying like Jade seems to be set on doing.”

It hits you now. You don’t know why you’ve never thought about it like this. You always just assumed their feelings. Even if you had confessed to them one time, you could’ve gotten that closure you didn’t realize you needed. Now it’s too late. They’ve already got too much tension on their relationship, adding you in the mix would be chaos. This is suddenly very troubling, you’re starting to get into a depressed state of mind again. The one you’ve been stuck in for weeks, as well as Dirk probably has for reasons still unknown. 

“I….” You relax your hands in your lap, and lean back to look up at the ceiling. “You’re right. I should have at least tried.”

“Didn’t I tell you to a ton of times before? I always thought that a sincere heartfelt confession from you might actually help push their relationship forward, even if they didn’t reciprocate.” 

“Yeah… I just never wanted to. I was so sure they’d be repulsed at the idea.”

“Ouch. Repulsed? That’s a new word for the situation.”

“Yeah, I guess I always felt like that deep down though. I mean, Karkats super harsh and distant. And Dave’s super aloof and distant. So, being vulnerable about your feelings for them just feels… extra vulnerable.”

“Yeah. It definitely wouldn’t be an easy relationship to navigate. Honestly maybe you did yourself a favor.”

You sigh at this. It certainly doesn’t feel that way. 

It goes silent again for a little bit, but this time neither of you find any discomfort in it. Dirks been working still, but doing something more quiet now. Connecting wires or something probably. You’re not really sure what it is he does. 

You remember something he said to you several sentences ago.

“Also… earlier you said… that I caused a life that I’m unhappy with…” you speak, sounding more dejected that you have today.

“Mhm.”

“Well. I don’t think that’s true.”

“No?”

“No, not really. I mean, yeah it definitely caused me some additional problems, sure. But Dirk…” you look down to make eye contact with him. He stops to look back at you, from behind the shades. He’s resting his arms on his knees, face stoic, fully listening. 

“I don’t think… I’ve been happy with my life.. in a long time.”

The sentence hits Dirk harder than maybe it should’ve normally, almost as if breaking something down. His face finally changes, from just being a stone-cold expression, to a slight frown, his features relaxed. It’s not an expression of pity, really. He’s sympathizing. 

Most everyone of the sburb kids probably feel this way. Things are just not as great as you might have though they’d be at the beginning of starting an entirely new universe. There’s just this terrible lingering empty feeling, that no one really talks about out loud. But it feels different hearing it from you. You always tried to be a little optimistic. You’ve been unhappy many times, that’s just normal human emotions. But you’ve never expressed being unhappy… with your life as a whole? Or accidentally admitted that you’re also depressed. 

The confession hits you hard as well for some reason, even though you’ve known it as a fact for quite some time. You’ve never outwardly admitted it. Suddenly you’re feeling warm wet tears run down the sides of your cheeks. They surprise you. When did you start tearing up?

Now they won’t stop, despite your frantic hands that try to wipe each one away. 

“Sorry… I… didn’t meant to get so emotional all of a sudden! Haha..” you’re sniffling a bit between your words, and trying to force a smile to make things less serious. Dirk just stares at you as you try to pull yourself together. “I just can’t help.. but think like… wow! I’m really going to live… potentially forever… and I’m not even enjoying the beginning… what’s 50 years from now gonna feel like? What’s 500 years gonna feel like? Will I even be me anymore at that point?” You’re just rambling now. You’ve went so quick from a normal rant-sesh to such a wet sloppy mess (ew). You’re no doubt embarrassed, and trying to talk in a casual manner that will maybe make you forget that you’re sobbing in front of your cool best friend or maybe crush, while he stares at you uncomfortably. Why did you even think coming here was a good idea? You’re in no place to help him. You just needed him to help you. You are selfish.

“Im- Im sorry, I’ll stop.. just give me a sec-“ you’re cut off suddenly. A distantly familiar feeling. You’re quick to go from feeling alone and pathetic, to warm and secure, as you’re pulled into an embrace with Dirk Strider. These hugs are not something you get to feel often. You didn’t even hear him walk over. 

You’re pulled out of your intrusive thoughts immediately. You feel safe, and comforted. In a way only he’s ever been able to make you feel. Despite all the bickering, and smart ass comments, you really loved Dirk. He always knew how to talk to you and handle you, with just enough care, even though sometimes you craved more. (Give a dog a bone, right?) But not because of the hug alone, no. It’s what’s about to come after this. This is it. The clock is moving, it’s in motion.

He pulls back only after he’s felt you settle down and go quiet. “I know how you feel. You’re not alone, you know that.” 

You nod, too flustered to look him in the face, so you look to the side, staring at his funny little shoulder tattoo. “I feel guilty about it though. Earth C is so perfect. I should be really happy, shouldn’t I?” 

“Nah. Nothing is ever perfect. Even though we literally created Earth C, I wouldn’t call it perfect. In fact, we’re probably about to get so fucking far from it.” 

You look at him and tilt your head. “What do you mean?” 

He pulls back again, standing up, turning to grab a chair sitting in the corner of the room. He carries it back over and sets it down in front of you, your eyes follow him the whole time. He sits on it the opposite way you’re supposed to, legs around the back of the chair, resting his arms on the top. The way a cool guy sits. You look at him, attentive. Ready for him to lay it on you. 

“I just seriously doubt that anything that’s about to happen will turn out very good. Our years for living a ‘normal’ life are already pretty much past at this point.” 

Okay, now you’re really confused. “Dirk you’re not making any sense. What’s going to happen that’s so bad?” 

He looks at you for a moment. He definitely isn’t intending on sharing with you any information of any importance, but you don’t know that. 

“I don’t know yet. John has to make a decision first.” He says nonchalantly, looking more stoic than usual.

You don’t respond, waiting for something else. But that’s it.

You can’t help it, you start laughing. What could that possibly mean?

“John makes a decision?? That’s it? What’s the choice? To nuke or not to nuke the planet??” You’re still giggling at this thought, though kinda morbid. 

Dirk isn’t laughing. “Ha ha. No, it’s nothing like that. It’s hard to explain. But the jist of what I was saying before, is it’s just that none of us are really meant to live a normal life on Earth C. Think about it. A bunch of immortal gods, of totally different upbringings and outlooks, and even species, all living on one little planet. We’re bound to fuck shit up one day.”

You’ve stopped laughing now and take a second to think about this. You’ve never really considered it. “Yeah… I guess now that you say it, that sounds kinda bad. We could’ve done with a few more planets in the system honestly.” 

“No, it’s not about the number of planets. Even if we all had our own planets, we’d end up going to war and shit with each other one day. We’re just not meant to lead normal lives.”

You frown at this. Why would friends go to war with each other? Granted, not everyone was super close, but we all fought to make this universe, why would we tear it apart? 

“I think you’re oversimplifying it. Not all of us want to be dictators.” You roll your eyes and cross your arms. You definitely aren’t happy about Janes plans, Dirk knows this.

“You subtly talking about why you don’t like Jane and the way she wants to lead just proves my point. And anyways, It doesn’t matter. We don’t have a choice in what we are. And what we are, is gods. We’ll have to ascend one day.” You search for a hint of irony in Dirks face, but he’s dead serious. Wow.

“Ascend??? Dirk what the hell are you talking about?”

It’s quiet for a moment. Dirk catches himself about to tell you too much about what has been fucking his brain for months, or more like years at this point. You can tell his silence is a troubled one. 

You reach out a concerned hand to place on his arm. He flinches a little. “Dirk… please tell me what’s going on. What are you talking about?” 

He can’t look at you. His head stays in place, but he’s avoiding eye contact even though you can’t tell. There’s a lot of thoughts going through his mind right now. Not all of them are about his ultimate self that is inevitably going to take over one day. Some are about you. And about the outcome of this timeline. For a moment he feels sympathy for all his friends. But there’s not much else I can tell you about what he’s thinking. Not now.

“I just… don’t know how much time I have left.” He says, still having not moved, but his eyes watch the clock behind you.

“How much… What? Dirk… Are you sick or something?” You are rapidly trying to understand his cryptic way of explaining to you, but it seems you’re falling short. 

“Not physically.” He pauses and actually lets out a slight chuckle, putting his gloved hand on his mouth. You bask in his slight-laugh, he’s really so charming. More than he could know. “God that sounded so emo.” 

“Dude, I don’t sound any better. We’re both being emo, it’s fine.” You smile back at him, removing your hand from his arm. You feel a bit of tension leave your body that you didn’t notice was there, the sound of his laugh ever like a cure to your stress. 

He nods. There’s just so much he can’t tell you, you wouldn’t be able to understand. And he didn’t want you to either. He didn’t want to put that burden on you. There was only one person he could give that burden to, and he still wasn’t sure when he’d have to tell her. 

But there were some feelings he knew he could vaguely talk to you about.

“But no, I’m fine physically. It’s just… I don’t know. I guess I’ve been having the same thoughts you have. How long can this all really last? Who will I be hundreds of years from now? What if I don’t even recognize myself anymore?” He pauses for a moment, and you watch him frown as he thinks of something. “I definitely won’t.”

You don’t dare interrupt. You just sit and listen, attentive, the best you can. When Dirk starts opening up, you hardly say a word until he’s finished. 

He goes on about how he’s been feeling especially useless and exhausted lately. Talking vaguely about his potential and his purpose, and that right now just felt like a stagnant period while he waits. But what if he doesn’t want to have some greater purpose, or some ultimate potential destiny? He’s always just wanted to be able to live a happy, normal life with his friends. He didn’t get to grow up with other people and have relationships. Getting here to figure out that he really never would get that normalcy, sucked the hope out of him. At least, maybe he could’ve got a while if he had made the most of the last seven years. He can’t even say they flew by, they dragged by painfully. He says he’s always just felt like he’s been watching his friends live through a window, communicating behind the glass, but not actively joining them. 

You soak in every word like you’ll need to know it for a test. You nod every now and then, and quietly “mhm”, to show you’re listening. You can feel he’s still not done yet. 

“I mean honestly (y/n), what’s even the point of it all? You feel it too right? There’s no way we’re headed toward a future that’ll be of any real purpose.”

You decide to finally speak up since he addressed you. “Are you saying we’re in a doomed timeline?” You ask, enabling him to explain more.

“No, it’s nothing like that. I’m not even sure doomed timelines are possible anymore, they’re just… timelines. But we’re definitely not going to be living happily ever fucking after.” 

You’re giving him that sympathetic look now, but he reads it as pity. His head reflectively looks away. He’s starting to get aggravated. “I don’t know how much longer I can hold out. I don’t even want to go through with this anymore. I just wish it’d all end.” 

Woah. You’re eyes widen a little at what he’s implying. “Dirk… don’t say that-“ 

“What’s even shittier about this whole thing is the fact that even if I really wanted to end it, I couldn’t. None of us could. Except maybe the trolls. We have to wait for something just or heroic to happen and decide our fate for us. We’re stuck to live in some shithole timeline with no way out. I have no choice. I either subject to being a depressed shut-in, or leave my humanity behind to pursue something above this existence. How pathetic is that?” 

You’re not sure exactly what he’s going on about, but your instinct immediately is to comfort him. You take his hand. He doesn’t flinch this time, but he doesn’t look at you either. 

“Hey, just calm down for a second, okay? I promise you it doesn’t have to be like that… I don’t know what’s due for this timeline, and I’m not sure if you do… If Rose told your something or.. I don’t know. But I always know that whatever life throws at me I’ll…” you hesitate to say the rest of the sentence. It’s a little cheesy, it almost makes you cringe for a second. But then he looks at you, clearly anticipating the rest of your sentence. You push through. “I’ll know I’ll be able to get through it, because you’ll be here.” 

He’s doesn’t say anything, but his eyes are wider now. He has no idea what to say at this intimate sentence. The two of you have been close for a while now, but you never really express it verbally. You just enjoyed each other without having to say it usually. The lack of response eats at you, you have to say something else since he clearly can’t think of what to say to that. You let go of his hand too, thinking maybe it’s making him uncomfortable. 

But he watches your hand as you pull it away. 

“And I’ll always be here for you! I’ll always be here to help you. I mean… if you ‘left’ in whatever way that means I’d…” You play with your hands again, the both of you staring at them, thumbs in a tug of war. “Just… please don’t leave, okay?” 

You both look up at the same time to make eye contact, but it’s obviously more intense for him. He can’t promise you that. He’s told you he won’t already, but you refuse to understand him.  

You’re both quiet, and you anxiously bite your lip again at his lack of a reply. Why isn’t he agreeing? 

“(Y/n)… have you ever thought about trying to take your own life? Just to see what happens?” The sudden dark inquiry sends your heart into your stomach. Why is he saying this? Your face looks terrified, but he doesn’t say anything, still looking. 

“Dirk.. W-what are you say-“

“Have you?”

You swallow hard. This is something you REALLY don’t like to talk or think about. It’s something you’ve never spoken to anyone about. 

But the answer is yes. Of course. You think about it a lot recently. It started when you started living alone. Those restless nights, wondering what the meaning of it all was. You wondered if maybe the clock of justice would consider the theft of your own lifespan a worthy enough cause. Why would a godtier with no will to live be worthy of such a title? It wouldn’t even makes sense, like more of a punishment than a reward. In a sense, you killed yourself to get this title. Why couldn’t you do the same to remove it? 

Maybe you could. 

You’ve been quiet a suspicious amount of time now. It tells Dirk his answer, but he still waits for you to admit it. His social cues are still really not the best sometimes, even after getting used to social interaction. You’re clearly uncomfortable.

You’re looking at your lap again, but your hands are still. You’re too deep in traumatic thought to even want to move. “…Of course I have.” Is all you say after a while.

“Have you tried?” 

His question sounds genuine. Actually curious. 

“No. I wouldn’t dare. What if…”

“It worked?”

“…Yeah…” 

“Then it’d finally be over.” 

When you look up, he’s still staring at you. You’re still scared, your heart breaking more with every word he says, but he seems calm now. As if he’s decided something in his mind. The more the clock ticks, the more anxious you get. What is he thinking?

You’re just about to speak up again, try to say something to calm the conversation, or just to change it to something less triggering. But he suddenly stands up. You look up at him, face getting more worried. 

“Dirk?”

He’s not looking at you anymore. And without a word, he turns around and begins to walk away. 

“Dirk?? Where are you going?!” You automatically stand up when he just continues to get farther away, turning to go down the hallway.

You follow him, quickly.

“Hey! Wait! You can’t just leave the conversation like that!”

You watch him turn into the bathroom, and shut the door before you can get to it. You jiggle the doorknob, but of course it’s locked. You’re panicking a bit now. This panic causes you to bang on the door without thinking, feeling a bit helpless. 

“Dirk!!! What are you doing in there?! Please just wait a se-“

“Relax.” You hear him calmly through the door. You silence immediately hearing his voice. “I’m just using the bathroom.” 

Your face automatically turns a slight pink. All of the panic and anxiety turns into embarrassment in the blink of an eye. You must’ve been overreacting. You do that sometimes. 

“O-oh….. Okay. Sorry… I’ll leave you alone then.” You’re cursing yourself in your mind as you start making your way back down the hall. 

Halfway through though, you stop suddenly. Taking a second to think about what just happened, to see if you were really overreacting. You come to the conclusion that you definitely weren’t, now that the embarrassment has subsided. Why would he just suddenly lock himself in the bathroom after your intense discussion about suicide? That is definitely concerning! 

You feel better having justified yourself. You then come to the rational decision that you’d give him 5 minutes and then check on him. Hopefully you’re jumping to conclusions, and he’s just really bad at ending conversations like usual. You take a direct turn into the kitchen that was right next to you. You flip the light switch on and take a seat at the table. What an exhausting conversation you just had. That was not how you were expecting that to go at all.

You look around. The kitchen isn’t excused from having a bunch of junk in it. There’s spare parts and random doodads laying all over the place. Wow, did you just think the word “doodad”? Who are you, Jake? Sometimes being here alone with him made you feel like it. Like Jakes replacement.

You decide you’re just gonna tuck that repressed thought back deep into your brain. That’s not even possible, you and Dirk aren’t even… I mean he would never… Wait didn’t he just tell you earlier that you shouldn’t assum…. OKAY THATS ENOUGH. 

The clock ticks by with the speed of a damn snail. You’re just sitting there watching it. You don’t even have the energy to check your phone to distract yourself. One minute has gone by and you’re waiting on the second. You’re also listening intently for any concerning noises, but you’re pretty sure the walls in this place are very thick. You couldn’t hear him drilling or anything from outside earlier, and the hallway isn’t that long.

You’re staring at a piece of hair in your face, blowing it up and watching it fall back down, passing the time. Three minutes now. Your stomach grumbles, and you decide to check Dirks fridge for inventory. When you open it up, it’s literally just like 10 half gallons of milk(?). This is clearly equisprites doing, but what has Dirk been eating??? Does he ever go out for food? Does he alchemize it? Who knows. You sigh and sit back down. 

Just as you’re counting down the last minute, you hear the bathroom door open and you look over to the doorway. After a few steps Dirks frame passes right by without glancing at you, even though it was obvious you were in there with the light being on. You sigh x2 combo and stand up from the table, walking out and back into the hallway to follow him. 

He’s sitting back on his bench in the living room, working again. You watch him, about 6 feet away. You don’t even know what to say, and you take your time trying to think of something. 

“Are you… okay?” Is all you could come up with. 

There’s no response. You can see he’s assembling his drill with a different top. He’s gonna drown you out. 

“Dirk. It’s alright if you don’t wanna talk about it anymore. You can just-“ the drilling starts “-… say that.”

You look dejected. It’s a sad scene honestly, if you could see it like I am in my mind right now, and I hope you are. 

He’s never been this distant before, especially not after opening up so deeply like that. His feelings were like a one way ticket each time, once you’re in, you’re in. But he’s forced you out after already letting you in. It didn’t make any sense. You look at the clock on the wall. It stopped working. When did that happen? 

“Is there anything I can do to get you to talk to me?” You ask as a last resort.

Unsurprisingly, no answer. You give up. Quite frankly, that whole conversation tired you out too, emotionally. If he doesn’t wanna talk about it anymore, that’s fine by you. 

“Do you mind if I stay over at least? Is the guest room still open?” You ask, expecting an answer, since it’s unrelated.

However, still no answer. You don’t know why you thought you’d get one that time. You decide to just take his silence as a yes. You’ve stayed over his house plenty of times before. A lot of the time when you guys would hang out, you’d talk or do something into late hours of the night, and not realize how late it’d gotten. The guest room might as well be yours at this point, since you’re pretty sure no one else ever stays over. Other than Jake, but he’ll just sleep in Dirks room. Obviously. And Dave has his own room here for some reason. 

You take yourself up the stairs, and you gaze at him for a minute from the rail before you make your way to the room. This whole day has made you sadder than you already were, you think.

When you’re in the room, you don’t even take in the interior. You’ve seen it a million times. It’s just a bunch of subtle weeb decor. Annoyingly aesthetic. You faceplant onto the bed and kick your shoes off. It’s not even that late, but you’re so exhausted from that interaction and from not getting much sleep the night before. Insomnias been hitting you hard lately since you didn’t have Dirk. It’s been especially lonely. Somehow being in Dirks house lulls you right to sleep immediately.

You sleep like a baby. A full 8 hours, something you haven’t had in a while. When your eyes flutter open it’s pitch black, only the light of the bedside clock glaring at you. 2:00am. Wow, it’s early. Or late, you guess?

You don’t know what to do since you feel so awake now. You could probably sleep a little more? You decide you wouldn’t mind some milk right now before you go back to bed. Assuming the white fridge liquid is milk. You’ll take your chances.

You make your way down the stairs, and as you’re descending you start to remember todays conversation. You cringe a bit. The whole thing was so emo and embarrassing on both of your parts. You’re pretty sure you made him uncomfortable towards the end and that’s probably what scared him-

Suddenly your thoughts are cut off. You hear… A voice. Dirk? It was only quick, but you see a small light from the hallway leading to the kitchen. You follow it quietly, curious. 

When you see him, you freeze at the sight.

He’s leaning over the kitchen sink, head hanging. He’s facing away from you, and you’re kind of hiding in the doorway anyways. The ambiance is coming from a small nightlight over the counter. You wish you could see his face. You hear a quick sniffle.

You’re deciding whether to say something or walk away. It seems like he’d want to be alone right now. Or does he need someone more than ever? He’s been so hard to read. You always think you interfere too much with him, but you can’t help it. Then, you hear him let out a small, quick sob. Probably the source of what you heard earlier. He sounds like he’s trying to hold it in, even though there’s no one around from his perspective. Your heart breaks. You have basically no control over what you do next. 

Suddenly, Dirk feels a pair of arms wrap around his abdomen, a warm body leaning into his back, embracing him. He jumps slightly at first, but relaxes into it after a minute. He’s silent now. No sniffling, no sobs. 

“I’m sorry.” Is all you say once you feel him relax. 

It’s silent again. All you can hear is the clock behind you. 

“You don’t have to respond, I just can’t stand to-“ 

“I tried it.” He says, cutting you off. He sounds defeated.

Your eyes widen a little. “You tried…”

“To kill myself. Earlier.” He states way too bluntly.

Your heart sinks. “Oh…” 

Silence. 

“It didn’t work.”

“Well, I can see that.” 

“Because I couldn’t actually do it.”

You pause for a moment.

“Huh?”

“I couldn’t really go through with it a hundred percent… I have to see this timeline through. It’s my burden to bear.” He grits his teeth and grips the sink. You feel his tensing.

“I’m sorry, Dirk.” It’s all you can think of to say. You don’t want to bother asking him to clarify anymore. You have no idea what he’s going through or what to suggest. This is all you know. You hold him tighter, and nuzzle a little bit more into his back.

He relaxes again, to your surprise. And he lets go of the sink with one hand to place it on your arm. You can’t see his face right now, and you wish you could. The two of you stay like that a little longer. After a minute or two you can feel him crying again. 

You’re sure it’s hard for him. Not just what he’s going though, but being vulnerable about it. 

Suddenly, you feel yourself start to tear up too. The two of you share a cry almost silently, not having to see each other in this emotional state, but still holding on and having someone there. 

“I promise it’ll be okay.” You say, breaking the silence. “Whatever you’re going through, we’ll go through it together. I’m a god tier too. I promise I’ll be here for you.”

It honestly feels like this made him cry a little harder as you feel him shake a little more. 

He raises his hands up to his face to wipe away any evidence of emotion under his shades. Then, to your surprise again, he breaks out of your embrace, only to turn around and embrace you again straight on.

You’re surprised for a moment, but when it settles in, you hug him back with all you have. And maybe it’s just you, but no hug between you two has ever felt this… passionate?

“Sorry I’m being like this. It’s just been hard. I’ve never been this emotional about it, even though I’ve known it for so long. I think it’s because it’s getting closer. And because you’re here. Probably why I’ve also been ignoring everyone.” He confesses. “So there’s your answer. I just didn’t want you to see me like this. I’m sorry, again.”

Again, you have no idea exactly what he’s talking about, and you make a mental note to maybe ask about it again another time when you’re both more stable. But you’re just committed to comforting him to your best ability right now.

“You don’t have to apologize, Dirk. You can tell me anything, seriously. I’m sorry there’s nothing I can do to help you. I wish I could.”

You feel him sigh slightly, but it seems more like relief than frustration or anything negative. 

“You should really get some sleep. Have you been up this whole time?” You say, changing the subject in concern for his wellbeing. You wonder what his nights have been like all this time you haven’t been talking. 

“Yeah. But I’m fine. I don’t really have a sleep schedule anymore.”

“Well, looks like we’re starting now then. Cmon.”

He doesn’t complain or object when you pull back and take his hand to walk out into the hallway. The two of you make your way upstairs and into Dirks room. He doesn’t say anything, and you couldn’t possibly know what he’s thinking right now. About you. 

You stop right after walking in the doorway and let go of his hand.

“Well, goodnight. I’ll see you in the morning, kay?” You say, giving him as much of a genuine smile as you can manage. You start walking past him to leave.

But then his hand grabs yours, stopping you. You freeze for a second, and turn to look at your friend again.

Your eyes widen at the sight when your eyes meet his. He had pulled his shades up to sit on his head, and for the first time you see his eyes, along with the rest of his face. Granted, it’s pretty dark so you can’t see the color well, but you can’t help but think they’re beautiful, just like the rest of him. His face also just reads ‘exhausted’, and tired from all the crying and emotion showed in the last however many hours. The two of you are quiet, staring at each other like this for a moment. 

“Would you… wanna stay?” He says, not breaking eye contact, but still seeming slightly unsure about it? 

“Stay… like, stay over? Yeah.. I-I was just gonna go to the guest r-“

“No. I meant in here.”

You’re blushing now. Good thing it’s dark, you guess. “In… your room?”

“Yeah.”

“In your bed?”

“Mhm.”

He seems much less embarrassed by this than you, of course. You’re extremely flustered now that you’ve made sure he meant what you think he meant. Wait… does that mean he wants to sleep with you or like SLEEP with you??? Oh god-

“Not anything weird. I just mean like, we can sleep in the same bed.” He says, almost like he read your mind. “It just feels like we both kinda need some comfort right now. And it feels weird to have you sleep in a different room after… Yknow everything that just happened. You don’t have to, if you’re not comfortable with it.”

“No!” You say, embarrassingly fast. You clear your throat a bit, not making it any better. He smirks at you slightly, tilting his head. Lord have mercy. “I mean… That actually sounds nice, yeah.”

He smiles in response, and you bask in the sight. Dirk Strider smiling at you, fully exposed so you can see all his beautiful features at once. You’re actually really happy right now. You haven’t felt this happy in a while. Which is kinda ironic after todays conversations. Why does he feel like a cure to your pain every time?

With his hand still holding onto yours, he guides you over to the bed. He puts his shades on the bedside table. When you both lay down and get under the covers, he turns to face you. Your heart is pounding like a million times per second right now as you turn to look back at him.

“You’re blushing pretty hard right now. You okay?” He says, and you can definitely see that slight little shit-eating smirk. He’s really gonna tease you right now. How could he even tell you’re blushing?

“Shut up! I’m fine… You just caught me off guard..” You defend.

“What? Did you think I wanted to have sex?” You would think he’s teasing since he’s still smirking, but it also sounds kind of like a genuine question.

Hearing him say it out loud while looking at you with those intense eyes makes you blush harder, like your face is actively working against you. “NO! Well… I mean I wasn’t sure.” You have to look away for a second. “And sleeping in the same bed just feels intimate in its own way, even without sex.” 

He nods understandingly. “Yeah, you’re right, this is pretty intimate I guess.” It’s silent for a moment then. “…But …I don’t know. It just feels right after everything that happened today.” He looks away now, facing the ceiling. 

This grants you to look back at him. You take in his beauty, the moonlight from the window being the only luminescence to light the scene. Even the curve of his nose looks perfect, making an impressive outline of his side profile. You just can’t stress to yourself enough how you love seeing him like this. You wish you could do it everyday. You’re smiling without realizing it. 

“You can take a picture if you want, it’ll last longer.” He says, glancing at you while keeping his head in place.

You blush again and shove at him lightly. “Fuck you!” You say, but you laugh afterwards. He smiles in response. If only you could stay this way forever. 

You turn to face the ceiling as well. After that, it feels like it’s the end of your conversation, and you both start trying to fall asleep. You’re laying there for so long trying to sleep, you can’t remember how long it’s been. You did get a lot of sleep earlier so it makes sense that it’s a little hard now, plus being in bed with Dirk isn’t helping. Your heart is still kinda racing. 

What happens next almost gives you a heart attack. You feel Dirk snag his arms around your torso, his face leaning into your arm. You’re frozen, and you’re not sure if he’s sleeping or not, so you don’t say anything.

As if he feels your discomfort, he speaks, in a low tone “Sorry. Is this okay?”

“Mhm…” you respond quietly, and carefully move your arm up and put it over him, and he automatically leans into your side now.

Now it’s really hard to sleep, so you just open your eyes. You look down at him and take in the rare and perfect sight of Dirk Strider sleeping. He looks so peaceful. Unbothered, undisturbed by Earth C and all your stupid post-Sburb problems. You wish you could make it all go away for him. 

You start to run your hands though his hair softly, and he hums slightly in response. Still slightly awake, but you can tell he’s on his way out. You smile at how natural this feels now. 

You finally feel yourself start to fall asleep as well. 

“I think I’ll stay here for a while.” You say quietly, but Dirk is already sleeping. And you follow suit with him again as soon as you say that. 

The two of you stay intertwined for the rest of the night. 

END

[impromptu-sketches]

Because nobody asked, here’s an example of why I love Giovanni so much - especially compared to some other common BL tops that are also presidents/directors at their company.

First, relatable ¯\(ツ)/¯

Second, he literally just wants to go home to be with his new lover ♡♡

In the beginning, Giovanni is kind of shown as a common BL top trope: rich president with a bad personality - also seductive and stubborn. 

But unlike others, Giovanni doesn’t really care about his status or wealth that much. He’s shown to be a huge giver to the people he loves, mainly to Felix and Felix’s family, and he doesn’t use his position to get things unfairly.

(slight spoiler in this paragraph) - When bad things happen out of his control and Felix gets hurt/is in trouble, he literally gives up his COMPANY for Felix in order to protect him. Idk about you, but other characters would just kill someone, threaten someone, or use their connections to get what they want. But Giovanni? He didn’t have a lot of options and he chose to give away -everything- he worked so hard for. And that means a LOT when you know that Giovanni was an orphan and has the chronic disease of always being cold - always being uncomfortable (which kind of explains some of his bad personality because I too am a bit snappy when I’m freezing cold for a long time, kind of like being hangry. But I digress). Yes, he was adopted into a nice family and his brother is also a president of a company who has his back - and he does use that to get into a new position - but that’s motivated by him wanting to keep an eye on the person who hurt Felix!! Before that, you see him and his brother working together and keeping work completely separate from their relationship, he even declined a project to Giovanni’s company and Giovanni was like ‘it can’t be helped.’ Just saying, he’s not one to abuse his power (unless it’s to help or protect someone else).

He is just so down to earth and where other characters choose questionable methods, he gives what he can give in order to protect the one he loves. And honestly, this is just a reflection of his whole personality. He's very ‘I don’t care about anyone or anything but you’ and I love that about him ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡)

I could go on... and I will.

Thirdly, when you think about Giovanni’s past, it’s actually so sad. His family abandoned him when he was young because of his condition, he was an orphan, got adopted into a nice family, and worked his way up to be president of a company. But for his whole life he can’t feel warmth at all. He even gets bullied because of his condition. So he goes through life cold, freezing, and as far as we know, pretty much alone. He does have his family but from what we see in the story he only interacts with his brother Leo, and that’s mainly through work and Leo calling to check up on him. Multiple times Giovanni threatens to never speak to him again if he oversteps (little bit dramatic if you ask me). He lives alone in a huge place - Felix even points it out, ‘no wonder he’s so cold in a place like this.’ It’s shown that he’s not that close to his subordinates at work or anyone else in his life.

~ Until he meets Felix ~ But it’s hilarious that Felix was just like ‘I love you, please go out with me’ and Giovanni was like... ‘nah, not interested.’ And it was only when they touched hands and he felt warmth for the first time that he gave Felix any attention.

I mean, when Felix first approaches him, Giovanni is drinking alone at a bar, not looking like he’s in a good mood. When Felix tries to sit with him and flirt he shuts him down and leaves looking annoyed. But when their hands touch, he feels warmth and so he gives in.

The story starts there and as the story goes on we see that the only person he cares about, really the only close person in his life is Felix.

(spoilers in this paragraph) - Felix on the other hand, has his mother and sister and is basically being threatened to do what he’s doing to keep them safe. And later we learn that Giovanni picks up on this and - thanks to the persistence of his brother - learns that Felix is using him. And he lets him. Mostly because he doesn’t want to give up that warmth he -finally- feels in his life. Also because he starts having feelings for Felix, but they’re really one in the same. He finally feels warmth, he finally feels love, he finally receives love. It’s no wonder that a large plot later on is that he’s worried Felix will leave him.

I also think it’s the cutest thing that Giovanni has Felix’s contact saved as ‘Miracle ♥’ and has this photo of him sleeping as his background

♡*:.。ღ˘◡˘ற.。.:*♡

In conclusion, I love Giovanni

[lu-lus-duckies]

Alright lulu needs to let off some thoughts

Firstly, I need to go shower, I stink and have uni tomorrow

Secondly, I missed daddies so many posts, going through all of them will be a pain

Thirdly, I can't believe the amount of joy I get from tumblr and you all

For the first time in a long LONG while I am overwhelmed from the happy chemicals (I know, disgusting). I haven't been able to shut up about you guys irl

Honestly it was almost terrifying feeling that much emotion. It was a little hard to breathe today and I was stimming all over the place trying to get that excess adrenaline off of me. /gen

Anyway, while I'm busy getting rid of the stink,

[winns-stuff]

LO RANT:

Ta-da, the rant that everyone’s been waiting for (I hope). I know I’ve been keeping it under wraps for a few days but that’s only because I’ve been having some major issues with my iron (yeah, I’m iron deficient and the pills that I normally take ran out so I’ll be waiting for them to be brought back to me by my local pharmacy) and it’s been pretty bad ngl, it’s a pain to work with and stuff and I keep thinking I’m going blind (it’s fine though I take breaks in between these rants) but yeah moving onto the actual topic of the rant and not my low iron.

Today I wanted to talk about Lore Olympus as a whole honestly (but mostly webtoon), and when I say this I don’t want anyone using this to bash Rachel or anything her and her team worked hard strenuous hours on Lore Olympus and I’m not gonna discredit that neither am I saying that she’s not worthy of the awards she’s gotten either. I’m just making this rant because I don’t like the way that webtoon has neglected half of its artists and storytellers just to hype up one comic. I know that webtoon is famous for others but let’s be real, as soon as you download webtoon the first recommendation is surrounding Lore Olympus. It’s been like that for years too! I’m so confused on why there hasn’t been other webtoons brought to the table with the same amount of coverage Lore Olympus has, and it really irks me.

First off, I wanna start with the advertisements. I’m gonna be real with you I’ve only ever seen ads about Lore Olympus and how good it is and everything but I can’t even remember them showing us ads for other comics. I know that they make challenges and everything for people to read the comics and the check out what the new story is about but that only lasts a fucking week. I can’t even remember the newer comics because it seems like as soon as they’re there they get taken off and put somewhere secluded where it’s never mentioned again. Meanwhile you have Lore Olympus who has all of these damn ads, even whilst it’s on break, and recommendations surrounding it like it’s the best comic on webtoon. Everyone who has webtoon knows of Lore Olympus but what about the other comics? Why do they get 5% of the spotlight while Lore Olympus gets 95%?

Second off, I think it’s really defeating to the other artists and storytellers on webtoon. There’s so many people on the app creating all kinds of interesting stories but have no support or coverage, people don’t even know that it exists because of how much it’s neglected for Lore Olympus. Honestly, can you imagine working so many hours to draw and develop your story just so no one can read it? That has to be so distressing and frustrating. Plus it’s not fair to everyone else, especially good stories being discontinued by webtoon because I’ve stumbled across multiple stories on originals that got shut down early because of the low ratings. You’d think it would be for canvas because they get no coverage at all unless you actively look for the stories, but it was an original. A comic that got advertisements and got to be broadcasted on the little slides for everyone to see who opened the app, dozens of people clicked that story and indulged themselves in the interesting and captivating story, everyone loved it including me, and then all of a sudden one day the webtoon rushed to an unsatisfying end. I was confused because it had so much lore and development to be explained until the other commenters speculated that it had been cancelled and discontinued due to the lack of readers. It’s a terrible process and me personally I would be crushed to have to end my story in such a rushed way, something I’ve spent years or even months creating and developing trying to make it the best version possible, gets cancelled and discontinued over the course of a few months! It’s just frustrating and a huge let down.

Thirdly, I do feel as if Lore Olympus as a whole could be better.. There’s a lot of cons coming from Lore Olympus then there is pros sadly, and I don’t think that it’s fair to have Rachel just receive that award in the state of the comic now. In season 1 you could really see the passion and the motivation of the story, it felt like it knew what it wanted to be and how it wanted to tell the story. But after that, it went downhill. Everything did, the character designs, the art, the story, the characters, they all became less polished and just more… Rushed I’d say. Not saying that Lore Olympus is just so bad and stuff that it doesn’t deserve an award at all, but I just don’t think it’s fair that Lore Olympus is talked about so much, you’ve got interviews, ads (with a damn known celebrity too), videos, edits, merch, books! Lore Olympus has quite literally made itself known throughout the damn comic community. It has so much recognition and coverage and everything for being best seller and critically acclaimed award winning and everything. Then to just top it off with an award while all the other creators put their heart and soul in every single chapter or webtoon they create. They cherish all the characters and you can just feel how much they love their story and how gently they handle everything so that they can satisfy fans with a worthy development and conclusion. There’s writers on webtoon who can barely get recognized for their work even though they have amazing storytelling and passion. So many writers and creators working with little to no team pushing themselves to make top tier art and writing each and every single chapter every single time they upload who don’t even get as much as an edit. I just think that it’s okay to give other webtoons a chance and to actually let other people get recognized and acknowledged for their work because it barely happens in webtoon for other people who isn’t Lore Olympus material.

Anyways, that’s the end of the rant. I hope everyone understands that I was using Lore Olympus as an example but mostly talking about the bullshit that creators face with webtoon because it’s terrible how other creators get treated by the company and I wanted to shed some light on it. I know Lore Olympus isn’t the most popular webtoon out there of course but it is one of the most talked about and advertised so yeah, I kinda had to use it as an example. But I hope no one takes this as me trying to say that you know, Lore Olympus sucks or whatever because that would be disrespectful to Rachel and her team who also spends hours on the episodes and stuff. In my opinion, I just don’t exactly like that barely any other comics are getting popular and picked up and being recognized by the community. But I digress, as I always say this is just a meaningless rant and it should not be taken neither as fact or seriously, I don’t do any sort of research on these because I’m literally just ranting purely based on my opinions and how I feel, also this shouldn’t be used as fuel to hate Rachel or Lore Olympus nor it’s fans because that wouldn’t make you any cooler or anything, you’re just going to be an ass if you do that. If you don’t agree with this that’s completely fine and if you do that’s also fine, we all have different brains and consume different sorts of media so we look at things differently, therefore if you don’t agree don’t try and force yourself to agree because you believe that it’s the right opinion, there is no right opinion it’s only mine.

[kaiyonohime]

Hey! I'm a journalist trying to write about the yarn scammer you posted about not long ago. My Twitter is jesslucaswrites, if you'd be up for an interview? Contact details on my profile there. Let me know!

First of all, Sherry Tenney isn't a yarn scammer, she's a fleece and fiber scammer. She actually rarely 'sells' yarn, and specializes more in fleece and fibers. So that's a very, very important detail. There have been yarn scammers in the fiber arts world before as well though.

Secondly, I wouldn't be comfortable giving and interview because, while I have been following this entire fiasco since January (it's been documented as starting many years before January), I personally haven't been affected by it. So I'm just another person watching the entire fiasco come to line, following along, and taking notes. A better person to interview would be one of the victims, to be honest. User Subtextsays on Ravelry is the one that brought this to everyone's attention, and they are a victim of Sherry Tenney as well.

So, honestly, I wouldn't be able to really tell you much more than what you have read in the Ravelry thread and the notes.

And thirdly, I just don't use twitter. And I'm most definitely not signing up for an account there. Also, there's an unfortunate history of journalists writing article about several similar incidents in the fiber arts world siding with the scammer (so blatantly that I doubt journalistic integrity was concept they knew), so I know that many will tend to avoid interviews or being involved. We don't want Sherry Tenney garnering sympathy because she's only stolen tens of thousands of dollars, and aren't we internet users means for trying to shut down her scam. I know that sounds dumb, but that's generally how articles about these situations get written.

I will happily provide you with links to the Ravely pages about the subject to read, they have uploaded all of their resources, including screenshots, for everyone to see as well. You will have to register for a Ravelry account, but it's completely free.

Ravelry thread 1

Ravelry thread 2

PDF outline of events from thread 1

Google Drive containing videos, screenshots, and more

And while I would definitely say you should also interview Sherry Tenney for this article, she is on FaceBook constantly, I would warn against meeting her in person for an interview. She has, unfortunately, threatened to shoot people over her scam being exposed, and she should be considered dangerous.

I hope this helps you with your article. And no, though Sherry has personally said she was going to sue me because of what I have posted on Tumblr, she has never sued me. She has never even reached out and made contact with me. She has threatened for the last six months to sue a great many people, and not a single one has ever received any paperwork in the mail.

[csvent-2]

Honestly I’m starting to really dislike any of this person’s cs. I’m gonna call the TBU for privacy. When they first opened their cs they were looking for GAs. I offered, drew the species and then promised I would be a GA in the end. When it came out, I applied for GA and I didn’t get chosen despite the promise. Which really off put me. Then they made a post to send people after someone who made a species similar to another with a very vague comparison. It got so bad that the person physically deleted the species. I was dming with someone during the time who was also agreeing on how dumb some of this was. They went so far as trying to expose the person making the species in a bulletin with very vague proof. Then when they spoke up, the entire debate was deleted. Next- they accused their mod of pretty shitty stuff- and posted no proof. I saw that as a red flag instantly, and asked for proof. In which is only a screenshot of them saying they drew nsfw for friends (NOT THE THING THEY WERE BEING ACCUSED OF! Maybe there is extra proof I’m missing but I did look around for it.) Thirdly, they get very annoyed when people suggested regional variants that did not relate to fire for their fire species, to the point they basically stopped working on it after shutting down that suggestions thread and all that stuff (the species was basically left to rot) they moved onto new cs, which soon has drama pop up. They are so condescending and when they blocked topics of things they simply just didn’t like and someone asked why they said something like “I don’t really care /lh” when they remarked that they themselves liked it. The tone tag, while I normally appreciate, just came off as an extra slap to the face here. In this new species they also are very very picky on stuff, and very much limits creativity. This isn’t because of lore or anything, they’re just picky. TBU in my opinion shouldn’t be an owner of species because they are very irrational and seem to get upset at this small amount of criticism and have been shown to lie to get their way.

I honestly really dislike how all of this stuff have been handled by TBU and they really really should not be in control of cs. ALSO PROBABLY SPEEDRUNNINV A BAN BECAUSE I AM TALKING OUT AGAINST THEM HSJSKNSKEKAKVEKE

🌸

[sirhampter]

another vent about the same person because i am just fed up with them. im keeping this one up, so if you see this white, go fuck yourself legitimately im done with your toxic bullshit.

i feel like i have a toxic relationship with a friend, but im honestly too nervous to say anything. said friend has been a dick to myself and other people on several occasions. they constantly nag about how we don't pay enough attention to them, and how no one cares about them. this is despite the fact they have played a major part in our roleplay campaign, basically taking over the last 3 arcs with their ideas. secondly, they have flat out *stated* directly that they do not care about ANYONE except a select 2 people for... no reason? i guess one of the friends they've known for several years, but the other one? they've only been friends for about half a year, and sure they have a close relationship, as do their characters but um... okay.

they have also been selectively gatekeeping certain roles in their takeover of the campaign for specifically the newer friend. it's just been them together in the overarching story, taking over the main antagonists AND the main protagonists, and tbh it's really getting under my skin. they won't shut up about their shared intrests, taking over several channels in our private servers for discussion, and the recent arcs have selectively been ABOUT that shared intrest, using concepts and ideas from it. (the shared intrest is a game that no one has played or gotten into except them).

thirdly, they've just been a general asshole? building off of the rude things they've done like despite the fact they take over the server with their silly game w their friend, they get extremely pissy if someone even makes a REFRENCE to a different fandom, simply because it annoys them. they also refused to take criticism when their 2nd arc was over, because boy it was messy, and people clearly weren't happy with them taking over the past few arcs. and the only thing they did was yell at us for being "assholes." and my god they just say horrible horrible things to people for no reason. simply because they pissed them off? dude what does that even mean? you think telling people to go ki// thvmsvles is okay because you're angry with them? and i know you werent joking because adding "legitimately" or /gen at the end does not make it a joke you bitch.

all in all i really want to cut off from this person, or call them out or something but im too scared since.. well they're well liked by several of the important members in the roleplay group.

[kyeomyun]

I JUST FINISHED READING AS IT WAS MY GOD SHUT UP SHUT UP WUY R U HURTING ME RGHT IN MY FEELS (im a sucker for Angst nd exes to lover's) SIGN ME TF UP I RLY RLY RLY LIVE THIS TROPE LIKE IT SHOWS IT LITERALLY MAKES ME FEEL.AT EASE THAT ppl outgrow each other we evolve se change no mater how much other ppl try to convince me nd themselves that they are for forever im their forever nd they will be there for them forever (from a frnds pov) im actually sobbing ir started sobbing when they parted ways nd when they said tha k you fir tonight nd all the give yrs like I WASNT FUCKING READY FOR IT TO END THIS SOON 😞😞😞😞😞😞😞SHUT UP U MADE ME SOB nd I literally lovedthe end cuz it was the most realistic nd it literally screams love is all abt letting go

have a good day and take care of urself <33 goodluck for ur school exams u are gonna do well in them cuz I believe in u

OH MY GOD? THIS MADE MY HEART ❤️❤️❤️

FIRSTLY, THANK YOU FOR THE KIND WORDS

:(( i am honestly at a lost right now since this is probably my favorite comment

SECONDLY, SORRY FOR MAKING YOU CRY LOVE 😭 THAT WAS SORTA MY INTENTION AND KINDA GLAD THAT IT WORKED?

THIRDLY, yes many moments do not last forever. they can always last a long time but never "forever". no matter how many times people want to prove to themselves that it can be as such. glad you got the overall theme of it LOL

Lastly, I HOPE YOU ARE NOT SOBBING ANYMORE 😭 PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT CRY TOO MUCH 😭 don't want you having puffy eyes anytime soon ;-;

oh my god, your ask made my day so so so much better so thank you so much for this love

:((

ALSO THANK YOU FOR THE WISHES! I HOPE YOU HAVE MANY DAYS AHEAD OF YOU THAT ARE BRIGHT AND WHEN YOU DO HAVE BAD DAYS, JUST KNOW THEY DO NOT LAST FOREVER AND FIGHT THROUGH THEM! take care of yourself as well and have a good night/day <333

[antirepurp]

if i ever get around to this part3 rewrite thing i can already see that 50% of the content happens pre-egypt during the little time the gang actually spends together