#and those that do exist are barely edible

[jewishcissiekj]

Rattatak is a barren wasteland and a war world being destroyed by its own people and locked in eternal conflict with mostly temporary buildings and living places except for the warlords and people with power's houses which are more permanent but are still very not well built and look like they're on the verge of collapse idk what the fuck this was

[bitchlessdino]

I have this in mind, maybe svt member x reader where they are classmates from college, they are close but not THAT close lol. Until one day they started talking about house prices and how the rent is so expensive, but still with the desire of living alone, so he (maybe hoshi or woozi) proposed that they should find a place together to split rent. It started as a joke, but then they found a really good place and decided to try to live together for at least one semester.

so yeah at first everything is great since both of them are always busy, so they dont really see each other that often around the house.

until it could be that they are sexually frustrated and start a friends with benefits relationship (but in secret, so their circle of friends dont know about it). However, reader always had a big crush on him, but never said anything. idk what else to say

Pairing: college roommate!soonyoung x afab!reader Genre: smut Word count: 5.9k tags: pwithplot, established friendship, roommate au, friends to fwb, pining, pervert!reader, pervert!soonyoung, mentions of alcohol, mutual masturbation, blowjobs, missionary, doggy, praise kink Summary: When it comes to the economy and needing a roof to live under, having a roommate is your best option, especially as any desperate college student. When arrangements are made with Soonyoung, a friend you admittedly have a visceral lust for, things take a turn one messy night. Making this arrangement more of an edible arrangement. author note: so i may have run wild since hoshi posted those thirst trap photos haha. im very proud of the header i made for this. this was something i planned on posting before my unprepared hiatus, and hopefully i'm still in spirits on continuing this. please anticipate more of me and remember that writers love interaction, criticism or not <333

Tag: @shiningstar-byulxx @misssugarlips @tommolex @hoeforhao @homerunhansol @dkakapizzaboy @junhui-recs @svtup @buffhoshi @meowmeowminnie @caratochan @lovebot4han @6969lilithcat @wonuhour @camisun93 @emmmui @toruro @jeonride @novalpha @nvmrljk @feat-sun

“That’s funny, Soonyoung’s looking for a place too.”

You looked over at the man in question to see him mid-feast on a sandwich bigger than his face as it puffed his cheeks full like a common squirrel. “Why are you looking for a place? I thought you made plans with Seokmin?”

The man struggled to swallow down the larger-than-life bite, barely managing to do without scratching the back of his throat before answering. “His parents convinced him against it. I should’ve known he’d back out when he didn’t know how to do his own laundry.”

“Do you know how to do your own laundry?”

“I know there are colors and whites, detergent and softener—I’d figure it out.”

“I’m hearing a no…”

“Youtube exists. How hard could it be? But yeah, I’m looking for a place.” He set his sandwich aside to lean in closer, washing down any remnants with a swig of his Jihoon’s stolen Coke Zero, who at the moment couldn’t be more distracted with Physics paper. “It’s not easy that’s for sure. A single bedroom is way too much on its own and anything bigger I can barely cover half of.”

“Here’s an idea,” Mingyu suggested like it wasn’t on his mind for the fifteen minutes you’ve been complaining about being essentially homeless, “Why don’t you guys figure something out together?”

“Really? Me and Soonyoung?”

Your counterpart couldn’t help the offense washing over his face. “What’s wrong with me?”

“I don’t know if you’d be a good roommate.”

“What makes you roommate of the year?”

You rolled your eyes. “We’ve known each for what, a semester and a half, and I don’t know what your living habits are. I’ve basically lived alone all my life with my parents working all the time. How do I know you won’t push all the housework on me?”

Scoffing, his lips twisted up in a cocky smile. “You’re looking at the flail youngest of two who did almost a decade of housework for a hundred dollar allowance for a week. I don’t waste Pinesol, I hand wash dishes, and I keep my 50 pairs of shoes neatly out of the doorway and in pristine condition.”

“You can do all that and not operate a washing machine?”

“The buttons and colors confuse me.”

“So,” Mingyu interrupted again, “How about it? Sounds like you guys a both a little desperate. The housing market isn’t getting any lower.”

“I guess you don’t sound all to bad to live with then,” You replied with a tinge of a tease.

“What do you bring to the table?” Soonyoung interjected.

“Discounts for food at my work, a Netflix account, a pack of scrub daddies, and a decent amount of disposable income for half an average month's rent and fun stuff if we ever get bored. Down?”

Soonyoung stroked his chin as if to think, but his head, the deal sounded as good as it can get. If he was being honest, he was desperate, but after the berating, he couldn’t let you know that. “Add in some salon-quality shampoos and conditioners and we have a deal.”

You groaned. “Fine, for a semester for now, but you’re getting laundry stuff and learning how to use the machines.”

You hadn’t expected to be apartment shopping with Soonyoung looking like a pair of newlyweds, but here you were doing exactly that. There wasn’t anything particular about him that bothered you, (except maybe the harboring attraction you had for him since freshman orientation that you blanketed over with over argumentative banter and an aloof attitude when he was around).

But as far as you knew, you were morning and night.  Sure, you’ve gotten along in social situations, but you knew how drastically different your lives were. When you aren’t working, you were a homebody and he’d bring bodies home. He lived differently than you did to put it plainly.

And perhaps the idea of waking up with him every morning possibly shirtless and/or naked frankly made you both terrified and aroused all at once.

The moment you shook his hand to agree, you were already feeling some regret, but hey, maybe that’ll actually do you some good. Maybe you’ll finally get over this school crush on this unattainably hot guy after seeing how disgusting he is leaving his underwear and socks in every corner of the place. It’s inevitable things can only go down from here, right? Right?

“A few ground rules should be in order.”

Soonyoung nodded, putting away the remainder of the edible arrangement gifted to you by your collective friends in the fridge. “Like what?”

“Chores should be switched off every week so we know how to handle all types at all times, but we do our own laundry. No exceptions. Dinner is a group effort. If we get takeout, always tell the other at least an hour in advance and costs are split. Groceries are bought biweekly with a set budget.”

“Strict, but ok. I’ll do my best to follow them. Anything else?”

You were reluctant to bring up this last one. You cleared you through, taking a second to properly form the words before letting them out. “If we have someone that we’re getting involved with, it’s either done at their place or in an empty apartment with plenty of notice.”

Soonyoung can’t help but bust out a wide and perfect grin, crossing his arms seeing the timid expression on your face. “Fine. I’ll make sure when I have sex with someone, it’s under those guidelines.”

“Ha, thanks,” You awkwardly respond, “I’ll abide the same.”

His eye narrowed at you dubiously. “Wait, you’ll actually get around?”

“Why are you doubting me?”

He chuckled, shrugging smooth broad shoulders through his black sleeveless tee. “You just don’t really seem about that. There’s nothing wrong with it, but—“

“You don’t know every detail of my intimate life so butt out.”

His arms rose up in defense, nodding along. “Alright, okay. If that’s all, I have a few rules of my own.”

“Okay. Have at it.”

He mused to himself for a few seconds. “Bathroom schedule: first come first serve.”

You nodded, easy enough.

“At a few hours of the day, the living room becomes an at-home gym when needed.”

Okay, that one had a little kick to it. “Alright.”

“And we have a safe word.”

You blinked back at him, heart pounding a little louder than it should, legs clenching as if they were being pried apart, and sweat burning the temple of your forehead with the unnecessarily dirty thoughts running through your mind. “A w-what?”

“A safe word,” he repeated as a matter of fact, “a word we can use when there’s conflict and something wrong and we just completely stop what we’re doing.” He grinned a little. “It’s not just for sex you know.”

You shoved him, earning his chuckle. “I know that, jerk. But fine, what do you suggest?”

“…Tiger.”

“How did I know that’s what you’d say?”

“Because we’re good friends.”

“How about ‘hamster’?”

He frowned. “No.”

“But look how effective that was.”

For the most part, things went smoothly. It helped that things got busy and tasks barely needed to get done with the exception of laundry. You saw each other more in your friend group gatherings than at home in your shared arrangement, and despite everyone knowing you live together, neither of you made it a point to make a big deal about it, even if everyone else does.

The countless times you had to fight Seokmin, Jeonghan, or Jihyo about the possibility of something developing between you and your new roommate romantically pained you with their inaccuracy. It seemed left and right that’s all everyone could talk about since it was arranged. It seemed as if there was nothing better up for discussion. Soonyoung dealt with it all the same, being constantly asked what kind of nefarious doings are being done behind closed doors that no one knows about. It always came as a disappointment when it was broken towards them that nothing was happening and that nothing ever will.

Even to you. Surprising enough.

If you learned anything from living with Soonyoung, it was harder than you expected it to be, especially with a still festering crush that is only developing into something almost tangibly heart-wrenching and stomach churning. It seemed to have taken a turn for the worse when Soonyoung started to take advantage of the home gym more due to the massive heatwave in town. 

The damn pull up bar.

You’ve only realized the time you’ve wasted after hearing the kettle whistle you put out apparently ten minutes ago. Your mind was too clouded by the flex of his biceps lifting his body in the air. Or the contracting and releasing of his shoulders that were lightly misted by perspiration. Or were too preoccupied with wanting to lick off the veins of the poor man’s lower abdomen. Or thinking about what those arms could do flinging you upside a—

“Oh, early class?”

“Uh, yeah. There’s a lot more traffic today, so I'm getting there earlier than usual.” 

His feet landed on the ground with a thud and he grabbed a towel to wipe over the sweat that was making his body glisten like glaze on a smooth buff donut. “I’m guessing you have no time for breakfast then?”

“Unfortunately,” you respond, quickly pouring your tea into your thermos before getting to your shoes, “I was gonna grab something at the Starbucks on campus after.”

“Here.” He tossed something from a box behind him and watched as you flimsily caught it from the front door.

“Oh.” A protein bar, a good one from your experience of raiding his side of the pantry. “Thanks.”

“And cancel all previous engagements. Dinner’s on me tonight.”

You squinted at him, “Why?”

“We’ll have something nice for once tonight,” he grinned, “be home at 8 tonight.”

Soonyoung’s plan for dinner was a free courtesy of Mingyu who found a nice little gig as a sous chef in a trendy place uptown. The whole circle celebrated together and you only got around to knowing after Soonyoung kept you updated on news knowing you’d be too busy to look at the giant groups chat you’re in. You should’ve been appreciative. That should’ve been your first instinct, not…entitlement. Not envious of him making eyes and flirting with the waitres. Not embarrassment for expecting something more from his brazen invite to dinner with you.

So, by then you’ve had a bit to drink. Okay, a lot to drink. Just enough to drink to have you stumbling on the center dance floor that garnered the attention of prying eyes. At that moment, nothing really mattered. You knew where lines lie, but lines eventually blur.

One second, you’re alone swaying to Britney Spears’ “toxic”, another second, Seungcheol’s crotch is up against your ass. It was a nice sentiment since you were definitely craving a bit of attention tonight, although you weren’t sure if you could look your friend in the eye again after that. Fortunately for you, it only got so far until a shapeless, but familiar, body pulled you away from the scene, forcibly putting you away in a bright yellow car. With your many failed protests, they managed to reach the footsteps of your building and finally reached for keys in their front pockets to open up your apartment.

“Hold still. Please…God, I am not sober enough for this.”

“Soonyoung….” You whined like a lost child.

He gripped you tighter by the arm to lock you in place, preventing you from falling. He was used to being taken care for and the grass was not greener on the other side. He has a lot of people he needs to apologize to. “Almost…okay, okay. I’m in. Go. Go shower and sober yourself up.”

You tugged him at the wrist, pulling him towards you. “Shower with me…”

He scoffed, a smug smile forming on his face. “You have no idea what you’re saying. Go before I make you, and I really don’t wanna have to make you.”

“Fineee…”

Logic flew out the window tonight. Not paying it a second thought, you began stripping yourself of your clothes in the middle of the living room, from socks to immediately your shirt. Soonyoung’s eyes nearly shot out of his skull as he scrambled to cover you in your abandoned shirt before it almost hit the ground.

“Undress in the bathroom please.” Even in your intoxicated state, you could feel the tension of his muscles brush against your back, causing the heat to creep up on your skin.

You let yourself melt into him giggling, turning your head back to meet his cautious eyes. “Maybe you’d like to help with that.”

You can see the bit of shock in his eyes, fluttering back to something more composed once he internally reminded himself this was the ramblings of a drunk person. “You really don’t know what you're saying.” He then pushed you inside the restroom, holding the door by its knob, “Shower and brush your teeth. I’m not letting you out until I’m sure you’re done.”

“Soonyoung…”

“Please, just do it.”

Eventually, he finally convinced you to do as he asked and he hears the shower running, but a mere second later a thud follows. You busted out in a fit of pain, slipping on the already wet floor and immediately your roommate comes running in concerned. “What happened?”

He turned his head the second he processed your fallen body on the ground was bare naked. Shower water poured down on your head, drenching you from head to toe, and glistening your body like a wet dream. Your eyes lit up at him in a timid demure, barely covering your intimate parts with your arms and hands. He coughed dramatically, pinching himself to find restraint, and repeated his quarry of concern with avoidant eyes before you pointed out the obvious, “I fell.”

“Hold on to the rails, that’s what they’re for,” he groaned.

“Sorry.”

He sighed, slightly glancing. “Do you need help?”

You shook your head even when he wasn’t looking. “No, I think I’m good.”

“Good. Just be careful and tell me when you’re done.”

And you’re alone again.

You pulled yourself up from your pathetic state and then the warm water run through your features, letting out a loud sigh. You finished up the best you could, ridding yourself of a night full of grime. Grabbing a towel on the rack, you wrapped it around your damp nude before letting Soonyoung know from the other side of the door. He finally let you free from his handmade prison before watching you go scurry to your bedroom in a concoction of drunken embarrassment.

You muttered to yourself scoldings for letting something like that happen, clenching your legs together in bed the moment you hear his round of shower hit the tiles through the thin walls. A groan unexpectedly sounds off abundantly clear, and your shameless thoughts take action while he’s preoccupied. 

Still naked, you let the towel fall to the ground and you crawl under the sheets of your bed, not caring in the slightest about your hair getting your pillows wet. Your hands slowly trail down to your chest, ghosting over your skin until the pads of your fingers finally found what’s between your legs. You moaned at your self-discovery. Filming your fingers with your filthy arousal, a smile derived from self-indulgence shaped on your face. There you let your fingers slide between your folds and you shudder.

Meanwhile, Soonyoung couldn’t get your image out of his head. The glimpse alone was enough to make him think of you in compromising positions. Lips around his angry stiff cock, your tongue sliding against the veins of his shaft. He’d then hear the wet suction, the vibrations of your mouth humming around his skin, moaning his name like the perfect dessert you were. He groaned again to himself, pressing his length against his abdomen, not thinking you’d hear.

But you do. In fact, it’s so coherent, it makes you wet enough seep past your thighs, trailing down your legs. Your fingers plunged in you deeper while the palm of your hand rubbed against the shape of your clit. Your hips heave up from the mattress, pressing deeper into your palm as the image of Soonyoung’s face stayed a constant in your intoxicated head.

Soonyoung could hear your moans through it all, even if you didn’t think they did, and you only further fed his imagination. He braced against the wall behind him, thrusting into his fist with gritted teeth. The squeeze he had on his girth was merciless and all he had to rid of his overwhelming sin. In his head, you batted your pretty eyes back him, trailing your hands over his body, mouth gaping that looked ready to be filled one way or another. He threw his head back, whispering your name softly. “Oh, baby…you look so good swallowing my cock.”

You felt tears soak your eyes, swallowing a desperate breath.“Mmh, fuck…just like that please…”

“Gonna fuck your pretty pussy…” His thrusts roughly pulled himself at his base, clenching the life around it.

“You’re so deep, fuck, you feel so good—“

“You’re gonna make me cum—“

“Shit, I’m gonna cum—“

“Shit—“

“Shit—“

Simultaneously, you both were freed of your tension, a sudden release of breath escaping your lungs. The spilled cum fell at Soonyoung’s feet, melting in the heat of the water before it followed down the drain, while you fell slumped in bed in your own filth. You lazily reached out for your towel to clean the rest of the mess, tore away your dirty sheets, and settled into a tired slumber.

Soonyoung, overwashed with shame, hung his head down as he quietly cursed to himself. He shut off the shower head and reached for his towel. He finally concludes this evening, having taken a load off. There wasn’t much left on his mind that night, only teh thought of wanting it to be over.

The morning comes sooner than you realize and you find yourself at the mercy of a shirtless Soonyoung like most mornings, except this time he wasn’t doing pull-ups. Instead, he walked to you, a vigor to his stride and he decidedly met your eyes, while you were still focused on his body.

“You’re not very good at hiding things,” he said with a knowing smile.

“Soonyoung—“

“Should I just give you what you want? Should I fuck the shit out of you until all I can hear is my name?”

An answer was caught in the tightness of your throat when he lifted you off the ground and instinctively made you wrap your legs around his bare torso. The heat of his body is all you could focus on until he planted you flat on your kitchen counter, parting your legs to reveal the sudden bareness beneath your oversized t-shirt.

He licked his lip, tensing up his abdomen excitedly before he found home between your thighs. Your fingers threaded through his hair, crying out in soft breaths, and pulling his head back to meet his pretty eyes glossed over with lust. 

He mumbled into your skin, specifically one thing. And he said it over again and over again. Unable to make out what he says, you asked him to repeat it more clearly. It was then he rose up to the surface, a sticky sweet sheen of your arousal in his lips before he drew them close to your ear. His breath fanned your skin, shivers running down your spine, and finally what he says makes sense.

“Wake up.”

Your eyes ripped open like the ground beneath you should’ve. You ran a hand over your face, groaning at your own dismay. “What the actual fuck…”

It took a minute for you to pull yourself out of bed, groggy and with a raging headache to blow over throughout the day, only to be met with nearly an identical circumstance you met in your dream. Your roommate’s bare back stared back at you as brightly as the morning sun. You shrunk back at the reminder of your dream, walking on eggshells towards him to reach the fridge. “Morning.”

Soonyoung coughed on his water recognizing your presence, timidly greeting you back.

“Plans today?” You asked.

He nodded, “Yeah, classes in the afternoon.”

The silence couldn’t be more deafening.

“You.”

“Yeah, me too. Will be back at home at 9 after work.”

“Cool.”

“Cool.”

And soon you parted, embarrassed that encountered ever happened.

The rest of the day, there was much of seeing each other like most days, but this particular instance felt there was more of a reason to it. Even when it came around to your mutually available time at lunch, you made the extra effort not to run into him. How could you?

After making a pass on him and making the half-conscious decision of touching yourself to him while he was in the shower?

You’d be insane to go about things as if they were normal. They weren’t. 

When you came home that night, he was home like he always was, yet nowhere in sight. You knew he was home when you noticed his bike locked up where it normally was and shoes placed at the front of the door. You were tempted to call out his name but refrained when you reminded yourself you were yet ready for that confrontation yet.

Unfortunately for you, you didn’t have a choice in the matter as  Soonyoung seemed to be already walking out of his room, shocked to see you actually home despite it being the time you said you’d be home by. “Hey…”

“Hey.” You let your stuff down before heading to the kitchen. “Did you eat yet?”

“Uh, yeah. I got pizza with a few Chan and Seungkwan.”

“Cool. I’m just gonna make myself something real quick.”

“Alright.”

“Did you need something?”

“Hmm?”

You pointed to his door. “You came out of your room.”

“Right,” he quickly scanned the floor before claiming nearly finished bottle of water on the couch's corner table. “W-water. I got thirsty.”

Obviously, it was an excuse, but you weren’t going to point it out with your lack of backbone. “Okay, well, I’m out here if you need anything.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

Before he retreated back to the room, a halt was squeezed out of your throat, catching him in his eager steps. He turned to you with unfocused eyes, hard swallowing in an attempt to calm himself down. “What is it?”

“I need to get this off my chest. Yesterday…I’m really sorry for everything yesterday.”

He sighed. That’s what all that was? “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“Also. Shit, um. I don’t know why I’m saying this because it's not like it matters. Well, it does a little bit. It could totally come off wr—“

“Hey,” he interrupted, “I doubt it’s as big a deal as your making it out to be, and I’m okay with not knowing.”

“But you should know actually.” You steadily approached him, letting out an exaggerated exhale. “Yesterday, you were showering and I don’t know what got over me. Well, I was drunk, so I guess there was that bit. Anyway, I heard you, you know, and I guess I—“

“Touched yourself when I was in the shower?”

You shut your eyes, preparing yourself for the worst. “Okay, we’re getting right into it, but yeah. It just felt weird not telling you, I just—“

“You knew I was masturbating?”

“Well, yeah? It was obvious if I’m being honest. Not the point. I invaded your privacy and indulged in it. I don’t know, maybe it’s been a while since…I just want to apologize.”

“For what, overhearing me whack myself off,” he took a step closer, eyes a lot like your dream meeting yours, “or for cumming to the thought of me?”

You breathed out through your nose. In and out. Your eyes for the life of you could not stay steady. “B-both?”

“If we’re being honest here, I should come clean too, shouldn’t I?”

Your hand steadied on the couch, almost letting the force of gravity pull you down along with your sanity, but tried maintaining eye contact as if that would change the dynamic even a little bit. “About what?”

Soonyoung finally found the humor in the situation to smile, one that caused the stagger in your step. “About how your face would come up when I touched myself in the shower.”

“Soonyoung—“

“You can be mad at me, but I won't be mad at you for doing the same thing I did. I don’t regret it because that was the best orgasm I’ve had in mon—“

You silenced his lips with your own, launching you into him until all you felt was the heat of his furnace of a body. His hands claimed the small of your back before pressing your curves into his hollows. He received your lips feverishly, moving against you as if in heated debate, and crashed your body into the furniture closest to you. 

“Didn’t know you were this eager,” he mumbled, “you should've told me.”

Your hand gripped his hair, your teeth taking his bottom lip between and pulling, emitting illicit whines that filled your stomach with warmth. Your leg propped to his side, embracing him hungrily there wasn’t even space to breathe. His hips knocked back into you, his bulge grinding against your clothed heat as he arched you over the back of the couch.

“You’re a bit mean. I like that.” He giggled.

“Shut up,” you mumbled.

“May I remind you, you kissed me.”

“And I can back out right this second.”

“Oh, but we can’t have that,” he utilized his upper strength to lift you off the ground looped tightly around his torso, a gasp leaving your lips. You reunite with his eyes that are now leveled with yours. You’ve looked into them before but it shocked you with how dark they are, how earnest they look. “You see it, don't you? How much I want you? I see it in your eyes too.”

“T-this a tactic you use on all people you sleep with?”

He shook his head. “Just you, and only because I really want you.”

Your hand planted against his cheek, the curve of your palm hugging his jaw. His breath hitches from the mere tenderness in your eyes. His body has ever only told him he was you carnally and raw, but that gaze. If he would just bottle that gaze and show off like a trophy.

Your hand crawled over to the nape of his neck, there your digits ran up his hair, pushing him innately close to yours, and you whispered cautiously, “We can never tell the others.”

“I’ll take this to my grave if it’s what you want.”

You nodded. “Good boy.”

He transported you to his room, dropping you on his mattress with him to follow. Your lips stay glued together a perfect mold, tongue clashing in a union that you’ve only even dreamt of having. Soonyoung only briefly pulled away to reveal his torso. He was firm, flushed to the touch, and heaving under the heat of your palm.

You gasped as he pressed his body against your touch, smiling against your skin as he asked if you liked what you were seeing. All you could do was nod, somehow lost in the trance that you never wanted to escape. His mouth took your neck, roaming starved as his hands undressed you down to your underwear.

“God, you’re gorgeous.” He slipped you out from your sleeves and made skin contact. Chest to chest, waist to waist, hips to hips. You sense his want through touch alone and for once being wrong felt so incredibly right. What a relief to know, he felt what you did. “I never wanted someone this badly before.”

“Soonyoung…”

He nipped your neck, teeth scratching against your skin. “You say my name like that, I’ll have no choice but to ruin you. Be careful around me. Or don’t. I’d show you a good time either way.”

“You’re—mmp—such a…ah—s-sweet talker.” You could hardly talk back. He made love to your skin as if he’d done it before, touching every pressure of your body like a skilled lover, both attentively yet without remorse.

“I’m only saying what I’ve been thinking. Like how desperate I am to feel myself between your thighs.” He tugged down your underwear to your feet and let the fall to the ground, allowing your legs to hook around him. “Or how your lips taste like caramel coffee, the candy you eat every time you need a ‘pick me up.’”

“You pay attention to that?” You asked, fiddling over the button of his pants.

“I don’t make an effort to, I just do.” He found your hands, aiding you in your efforts, soon you heard the sound of fabric hitting the floor. He held your gaze still, guiding your hand over his hard cock, taking from the base up to the shaft. You swallowed memorizing his shape, his length, his weight. There was so much you wanted to be able to share with this part of him alone. “Now it’s your turn to pay attention to me.”

Your lips stretched over your cheeks. “What makes you think I don’t?” 

You trace over something particular with your other hand, something that bulges at you even with his pants on. You lifted yourself to sit up, folding your calves behind your thighs. Stroking his length with one hand, you admire your veins leading down his lap with the other. “I’ll have you know, my patience is admirable. It took a lot within me to blatantly ignore these pretty veins you have on your stomach.”

“Someone’s never called them that before,” he chuckled, “no one’s even acknowledged them before.”

“I guess no one’s been privileged enough to see them as often as I do. Lucky me.” You thumbed over the blue, scrapping over its stroke as you lowered your head and your lips wrapped around the head. You covered his underside, tugging  your lips around him, and watching his jaw drop lower when you began covering more of his length.

“I’m the lucky one,” he acknowledged, his hand dropping to the crown of your head before caressing the length of your hair. “You should see how good you look sucking my dick right now. I’m never gonna see this image without wanting to cum on the spot.”

You steadied yourself at his hips, tongue gliding over the underside, and you hugged your cheeks tighter around his girth. Eyes fluttered back at him, and you wretched to take more of him, already felt him hit the back of your throat. When you heard him moan, it fed you more encouragement, giving your best efforts to fit all of him. You coughed at the tightness in your throat but remained resilient. The vicious substance of your saliva coated him from tip to base as your hand stroked him repeatedly, pushing him deeper into you until your vision grew weary. 

Soonyoung told you to take it slow, stroking the back of your head with a gentle hand. You inhaled him for as long as you could, the sounds of your efforts growing dim the deeper he made it past your mouth. Ultimately, tears ran down your cheeks, oxygen cut from your airways, and you felt no choice but to pull him out, resting his cock between your fingertips as you gasped for breath.

That breath was quickly stolen when Soonyoung dived in to claim it, his body caging yours. His weight against yours was comforting, enticing, addicting. He moaned your name sweetly like a song, and it filled your stomach with embers of desire. “You’re so hot…I’d make you do that again if I wasn’t worried about killing you.”

You pathetically scoffed in an attempt to cover up discomfort. “That? Pff, I’m fine.”

He grinned, kissing you long and deep. “You’re so cute when you lie. I’ll make sure to return the favor now.”

Pulling at your thighs, he dragged them towards him, barely touched your eager heat, and his twitch urging you to pull him close. He leaned over somewhere behind you to tear open a condom, rolling it over himself. As he drew closer, so did you, feeling the inviting head of his cock glide over your wet cunt, you trembled in thought. Soonyoung, just—

“Put it in me.”

“Now, now. I’m not going anywhere,” he smiled cheekily.

“Soonyoung,” You whined.

Your impatience is rewarded when he plunged himself in slowly, but completely, embracing the stretch of your walls as he filled you out. “So…needy...”

His initial thrust is deep, strong, and then he landed another, quickly adjusting to the plush of your pussy. You held your thighs back to your chest, and spread your legs wide for him. Your pretty lips weren’t shy with praising him, asking him for more of his pretty cock, and earning just as you ask. “You’re mind-numbing, shit…what a good fucking pussy…”

“Your cock’s so g-good in me…you feel so good inside me, Soonyoung…”

“Fuck, say my name like that again.”

He flipped you on your stomach, pressing his fingers into your as he found his pace from behind you, ramming into you until your cunt has tasted every inch of his cock. You gasped as his hand maneuvered you to push back against him, like a toy to be played with he used every bit of you, your energy, your sexuality, and he embraced it. You felt amazing. 

“Soonyoung, I’m—ah—I’m gonna cum.”

“You’re gonna cum around my cock? Hmm? Is that it? My cock fucking you that good?”

You bit into his cheeks nodding, in the urge to respond before the wave of arousal crashed into you. You were clenching your stomach as his name came in tidal waves, grinding towards him to prologue the high. Loudly, you cursed, balling the sheets underneath you into fists. 

Soonyoung nodded proudly, the shaky view of your body trembling beneath him fuels his ego and it’s not long before he orgasms, filling the condom until it nearly burst. He pulled out of you finally, quickly discarding the trash before he joined you in bed, hugging your fatigued body to his side and there was silence. Only silence.

And breathing. Mainly Soonyoung’s. And that went on for a good fifteen minutes until someone spoke again.

“I’m glad I waited for that.”

You looked up at your roommate curiously, the smile on his face felt warmer every time you saw it. “What was that?”

He met your gaze, hand softly moving over your hair. “I feel like I’ve gotten closer to you. I always wanted that.”

“Really?”

He nodded, planting a chaste kiss on your forehead. “Who knew sex would make us closer friends?”

Your body ran cold, in the distance you could hear the shattering of glass far off from reality. You stayed frozen under his touch as he embraced you closer to his naked body, hooking his chin over your neck. “We should do this again. I wouldn’t mind getting used to this.”

That’s what you were scared of. Getting used to this. To this arrangement. To the sensation of his cock inside you. To the sense that it’d never be more than you hoped it would be. You’d never have Soonyoung be yours, but you knew somehow you’d always be his.

[elaemae]

The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.

[Twst x Obeyme!AFAB!reader]

CHP. 1.1: The start of the Blood Rose Tyrant.

Thank you, my amazing readers, for all the likes, comments, and reblogs🥹 It makes so happy, like– almost nothing can top the joy of seeing y'all liked my work :)

Btw, If you have any questions about my tagging and/or literally anything you wanna ask me bout the fic, just reach out to me and I'll try my best to answer you.😊

CW: Cursing, Idk what else... There's also the pronoun schtick I've been yapping about since pr. 1. (i.e MC will get mistaken for a pretty guy a lot -Mc is AFAB referred to as they/them- because the NRC cast have come to expect only boys to be in the school. Excluding the paintings ofc.)

(My pic)

Fun fact: While all of your ornaments act as containers to very *nom*-able amounts of magic, such a thing can be dangerous as it may give away your location if you need to hide or run away from someone.

Therefore, all of them were cast with a special spell developed by Solomon that makes it so that people can't sense that magic unless they're really close to you physically.

(Not to mention, only exceptional mages can actually have the hope of picking up on that magic as your all jewelry were also cast with a heavy magical concealment blessing from both Micheal and Luke.)

• • •

'What the hell is this?'

You think as you fiddled with the fancy pouch in your hands.

You had opened the gift box to find the pouch containing some basic skincare products and just went; ( •_•)..?

Like– What the hell? Who does that?? Are they saying that you're ugly and needed to start taking care of your face?! Well excuse you, I'll have you know –whomever you are– that this face was approved by Asmodeus himself you rude lil' shi—

*Ehem*

So like any sane person is supposed to do in that situation, you checked if the products were cursed or charmed and then pocketed it to maybe sell it in the future for some cash. (Lovely gift but you were taught never to use/ingest things given to you by strangers.)

Leaving the infirmary, you venture into the botanical garden, hoping you'd find some edible plants that you and Yuu can nibble on until you can procure other food options and some all important moneh. (Ugh, if only that damn crow didn't escape and hide away from you, you would've extorted his cowardly-ass and bought some food instead of needing to resort to this bs.)

'Trying to find a stone in a long abandoned mine is simply a fools errand.'

You thought as you absent-mindedly skipped past a certain tall, dark, and handsome man with horns, unknowing of the look of pure curiosity pointed at your back as you continued your musings.

'But oh well, they wanted to try so they might as well be those fools.'

You're not gonna stop them if they wanna try to fix things even though you've mostly stabilized the situation. (Not that they know.)

Damn, you also need to go to the library later so that you can learn what changes you'd need to do in order to adapt and know the problems you'd likely experience in this world.

Knowing yourself and your history for being a magnet of chaos, It'd probably involve almost dying more times than you have fingers and unearthing some deeply-buried soul-crushing trauma in which the only thing you'll get in return are the friends you've made along the way.

Aside from that though, you'd need to gain yourself a foothold in this society.

Preferably, there would be a lot of rich and influential people in this school to suck up to, but if those aren't enough then maybe you can venture into industries where you can kiss-ass in peace.

As much as you'd love to be optimistic, Crowley is the almost literal embodiment of a dead-beat dad barely pays child-support and your own search for a way home may take years before coming to fruition.

Tsk. You can feel your stress levels transcending the mortal plane of existence again as you can already envision the figurative mountain-range you'd need to climb just to achieve stability in this place.

$°\•m°n.. p/€∆$3.. H€\₱ m£...

Times like these just make you wanna curl up onto the floor in a fetal position and let the earth consume you whole.

Oh! And you also need to obtain a stronger blackmail material against Crowley to make sure he won't try anything remotely against you.

'Hmm... But maybe...'

You think as you took a quick and discreet glance to a security camera that had been "coincidentally" pointed at you.

Well, not really a coincidence.

If the mf behind these creepy-ass cameras —that have been watching you since your arrival here, mind you—, can lend you a hand then that would be the optimal outcome. There are a lot of security cameras after all...

Though there's also a large possibility that the fucker wanted you dead because of either boredom, simple bloodlust, money, vengeance (for some reason), your organs or all of the above.

You sighed as you entered the botanical garden, telling yourself to just worry about that later and focus on finding food.

If you get in trouble for taking plants here, you'll just throw Crowley under the bus. (figuratively and literally if he decides to be a bitch about it.)

• • • •

Yuu, Grim, Ace, and Deuce stumbled out of the mirror, finally away from the creepy forest and back into the college.

They all flinched and turned their heads back when they heard a dramatic 'Tsktsktsk–' from behind them.

"Well well well~ Look who finally decided to show up at–"

*checks imaginary wrist watch*

"46 minutes past midnight.. Huh.. If you all got any curfew for your dorms then you're both toast. Can't believe y'all spent more than five hours looking for a single rock..."

You said, referring to the two first years who flinched under your words and judgemental eyes.

"You all look like shit by the way."

Yuu awkwardly scratched their head.

"Thanks?"

*Sigh...*

"You're welcome, bbg."

"Just hurry up and give that rock to the fuckin crow already so that you all can spare the world from having to witness anymore of your gross, sweaty, homeless-lookin selves."

Deuce shrunk even further behind Yuu. (funny because Yuu was at least half-a-head shorter.)

Ace meanwhile, has too much ego to not say anything back.

"We wouldn't be looking like this if you at least helped!" He snarked.

"Why should I?"

You Dwayne-the-rock-Johnson raised your eyebrow at him.

"I don't owe any of you a smidgen of literally anything so why should I help?"

It wasn't a question, but a statement. Because why should you help? They should be grateful you even talked Crowley out of expelling them immediately. Not that they know but still...

But of course, audacity is gonna audacity. Because, Ace really had the nerve to look offended by your words, as if you weren't saying something as truthful as the sky being blue, the grass being green, and your ass being a literal masterpiece from god.

"Don't even try to pass off the blame, Weasley-wannabe. I know it, you know it, your mom knows it, your dad if you have one, your entire bloodline and your non-existent cow knows it, there's literally no point."

Ace literally almost snarled at you like a damn dog, pft– That's what he gets from pissing you off by existing earlier.

"Oh shut up!"

He then looked like he was about to start a rant of how unfair his life was and how he totally didn't deserve any of this and blahblahblahblahblah–

You swear on Diavolo and Luci's fruity man-boobs, you'll hang this bitch upside down like a bat if you had to hear another complaint about things being unfair for him.

What about you? or Yuu? Isn't life more cruel and unfair to you two? Taking you both away from loved ones and shoving you into a world where you two need to fight for a temporary sanctuary as you both try to go home with no real proof you'll actually be able to make it back?

Isn't life more unfair to you? Right when you almost finally achieved the start of your happy ending.. You were taken away from the people that you fought tooth and nail to be with.. And now, they're all too far away for you to reach... again.

Deuce elbowed Ace, thankfully making the jab to the ribs painful for the annoying ginger.

You dramatically sighed again, turning to Yuu and Deuce.

"Remember kids, don't copy Ace's attitude okay? Lest you want to end up single and with no bitches for the rest of your life."

Ace's right eye twitched erratically, shouting at you to shut up and to stop messing with him.

• • • • •

Talking with the crow is an annoying affair as expected. At least now, Yuu is finally an official learner of the school. Even if they're just half-a-student with the loud talking cat. (That kinda reminds you of Mammon, now that you think of it. Also very funny because the cat's name is grim of all things..)

Oh, and you're a prefect now. You're definitely going to make that everyone's problem. Hehehehehe~

"So the abandoned dorm we were supposed to live in is fixed now? How? Hasn't it only been like– a day?"

You ominously beamed at the question, releasing a sinister little giggle that caused Ace, Deuce, and the now wide-awake Grim to subconsciously shiver while Yuu refrained from asking further questions and just wisely snickered instead.

Unseen by everyone, you sent a quick devious little smile to a wall where a certain electrical device was mounted, biting down a snort when you saw the security camera suddenly snap into another direction, as if it was a person embarrassed that they got caught by someone they were staring at.

You then had to hold back a cackle as you remembered how easily this newly made stalker friend of yours snitched on the headmaster, like– you literally didn't even do anything, the flustered boy just gave you the blackmail material that you needed. Well, maybe you did corner him a little bit by using his own electronics against him but you're pretty sure he enjoyed it for some reason if the way he literally blurted out 'mommy-' at you was anything to go by—

Haha, the benefits of having a hacker as a fren :3

• • • •

Kicking away the two idiots and telling them to go back to their dorms already, you dragged Yuu inside the now newly fixed dorm.

The two of you needed to talk about a few things and arrangements..

• • • •

Quickly opening the door in hopes that the fucker that was banging on it gets mash-dabbed face-first, you saw nothing but disappointment as the bastard — Ace — had actually moved away from the door in an impressive display of intuition and spidey-sense before you had even wretched the door open.

"What the fuck do you want, you ugly punyeta?"

It hasn't even been a few hours since this mf parted ways with you and Yuu, so what could be the problem now?

. .. . . . . ..

"No, you're sleeping on the couch."

"What?! But why?!! There are perfectly good rooms here!"

"All the other rooms besides the one we're using are still unfurnished. The beds in them are yet to be assembled and the floors are dusty because of the quick renovations." Yuu stated, rubbing the bridge of their nose.

"Ughhhhh! Just let me squeeze in, I promise I won't take up too much space!"

"Nice try but no."

"Tch, You're all so stingy and inhospitable.."

"Yuu, Do you hear that?" You said, theatrically cupping your ear with a hand.

"Yes, It seems that a forever virgin is talking." Yuu answered with a smirk.

"Hey!"

"Sorry, you oompa-loompa lookin ass— we unfortunately can't understand the language of people who can't pull."

"You guys are the worst."

"Thanks bbg." you and Yuu paused.

"Pft–"

"Oh dear~ It seems you're starting to take after me."

"Indeed it seems." Yuu replied, even subconsciously copying the fancy accent you used.

"Oh no, you're multiplying. :0"

"Haha, we're still dragging you to apologize to your Housewarden later."

"Aww shucks.."

← Pr.7 | Chapter List | Chp. 1.2 →

Thanks for reading this far, my amazing readers ＼⁠(⁠^⁠o⁠^⁠)⁠／

Pls don't forget to reblog and like, it really helps me so much <3

Taglist;

@f0uerleafedcl0ver @a-traveling-void-human @leviathans-tail-scales @nimko @solarixstar @sugarrush-blush @im-in-love-with-fairytales @irisxiel @meigalaxy @nightw-izhu @refridgeratorplus @moonieper @certified-twst-simp @immakittybear @iris-arcadia @caprinaesprout @mc-glare-is-king

Pls if I forgot to tag someone, pls tell me..

Tumblr is fuckin with me again.

Reminder; Just tell me if y'all wanna be added to the permanent taglist.

[writeforfandoms]

Fast Car 1

Find my Ghost masterlist

My second submission for the Ghost Challenge hosted by @glitterypirateduck

You can't believe your luck when you find what looks like a functional car, an excellent way to repair your own car. Turns out you were right not to trust your luck. The truck has owners, and those owners are not happy to find you rummaging around. Oops?

Simon "Ghost" Riley x f!reader

For this one, I used a few different prompts through the whole fic - have fun finding each of them! #'s 3, 9, 14, 18, 27

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: Canon typical violence, light violence, swearing, zombie au, mention of cannibals.

You slowed when you spotted the truck. The truck itself wasn't that unusual - they existed aplenty out here in the country, away from the remains of civilization. 

But this one had fresh tire tracks behind it, the ground still a little soft with the rains from last night. 

You hadn't seen a working vehicle in… months. Maybe a year. 

Of course, you could have a working vehicle of you could find a replacement part. 

Maybe you'd take a look. Real quiet and sneaky like. Just a little look. Just in case you could find a complementary part. 

You weren't stupid, though. You looked around carefully, checked the footprints around the truck. Checked for any movement. Listened hard too. 

But there was nothing. Whoever had come in the truck was long gone, but could be back any time. If you wanted to try grabbing the part, the time was now. 

The doors were unlocked, half luck and half the times. No need to lock the doors when there was nobody around to rob you blind. It was easy to pop the hood. One more look around showed that the coast was still clear. 

So you pushed the hood open to investigate, humming to yourself. 

“You need a tune up,” you muttered to the truck with sympathy. “I can tell. Too bad I'm not sticking around to help.” 

You patted the headlight but continued to look. You needed to hurry up now. 

You spied what you needed and smiled. Close enough to work. 

“Hey!”

The shout made you jump and very nearly bang your head on the hood, and you jerked around to spot someone walking towards the truck quickly, long strides eating up the distance. 

You took off. No way you were sticking around to get in an argument with the owner. Or skip straight to getting killed. 

You didn't get very far before someone grabbed your arm, nearly wrenching it with the force of his yank. You yelped, the sudden pain startling, and swung around with his pull. 

The man was huge, not just tall but broad. Dark makeup smeared around his eyes made him even more imposing. 

“Let go!” You kicked out at him, clumsy but determined. 

He moved out of the way easily, not even shifting his grip. One more tug sent you off-balance, and he twisted your arm behind you and up, your breath hitching in your throat. 

“Stop struggling.” The rough words made you pause, swallowing hard against the noise of pain that wanted to escape. 

The one approaching the two of you seemed in less of a hurry now that you were subdued, adjusting his hat as he eyed the two of you. Mainly you, probably. You narrowed your eyes at him, tempted to bare your teeth. 

“What were you doing, eh?” He stopped, one hand planted on his hip, the other holding his gun. 

Well. You'd survived two years of fucking zombies and zealots and shit, only to get killed because of a car. Seemed fitting. 

“Looking for a snack,” you drawled, wincing when the man behind you tugged your arm a little higher. 

The hatted one eyed you, shrewd and cold, calculating. A sudden, terrible thought made you swallow hard. 

“Promise I'm not a good snack, though,” you said, going up onto your toes to try to alleviate some of the ache in your arm and shoulder. “Definitely not edible.” 

The man in front of you blinked, apparently caught off guard. 

“You sayin’ you've run into cannibals?” The man behind you asked, incredulous. His grip didn't waver. 

“Well, I ran away from them,” you pointed out, very reasonably. “Does that mean you're not interested in eating me?”

“Not even close.” The one in front of you snorted, stepping closer so he could look down at you. “Why were you poking around in the car?” 

“Looking for kittens,” you snarked, even as pain tightened your voice. “They like warm spots, you know.” 

You yelped as your arm wrenched higher, shoulder straining against the pressure. Tears sprang to your eyes, unbidden and unwanted. 

“Got any friends hiding out?” The hatted one didn't change his tone, still watching you. 

Sure, you could keep mouthing off. But your shoulder ached now, and you were worried they'd dislocate it and then leave you. That would be a death sentence, just a slow one. 

“No,” you grumbled, head dropping. “It's just me. Just been me for a while.” 

To your surprise, the man behind you dropped your arm and stepped back. You stumbled from the sudden release, quickly pulling your arm in to your chest. The throbbing hadn't stopped yet, but at least it didn't hurt so badly. 

“What did you do to the car?” Though there was no visible change to the two men, you didn't doubt they'd grab you again if needed. Being released was a reward for honesty, leaving you with a choice to make. 

“Nothing.” Sulking just a little, you crossed your arms over your chest. “I was looking for a part, but I didn't get a chance to grab it. The car is fine.”

“Hm.” He tipped his head, studying you more closely now. “You a mechanic?”

“I was,” you said, a little wry. “Not much to work on anymore, with most of my customers dead or worse.” 

The big guy made a soft noise of amusement. You eyed him for a moment before returning your focus to the hatted man. 

He nodded once, slowly, gaze still focused on you. “Looking for somewhere to settle, then?”

You shrugged, feeling a little squirrelly now. “Haven't decided.” 

“Tell you what.” He shifted his weight forward, arms crossing over his chest. “We've got a safe place. A town.” 

“Do you?” You didn't bother to keep the skepticism from your voice, even as you rocked back on your heels. “Heard that one before.” 

“If you're really a mechanic, you're welcome in town.” He continued as if you hadn't spoken. “Your choice. Think about it. If you want to come with, meet us there.” He nodded at the decrepit gas station not far from where you all stood. “Tomorrow morning, an hour after sunrise.” 

You eyed him suspiciously. It could be a trick still, a way to get you to lower your guard. It could also be legit. Maybe. Possibly. The chance was very low… but not zero. 

Neither of them moved when you took a careful step back, then another. 

“Tomorrow morning,” the one reminded you, gaze fixed on you still, far too intense for your liking. 

“I'll think about it.” You hadn't really meant to say that, but, well… oh well. You backed away to a safe distance before you turned and walked away. 

You listened for footsteps behind you, and took the long route back to where you'd stashed your things for the day. You even paused multiple times to check behind you and around you. 

And not just to check for zombies, either. 

You didn't trust them, not even a little. The ache in your shoulder hadn't gone away yet, either. 

But… if they were telling the truth… Safety was the rarest commodity nowadays. 

You hadn't been kidding when you'd mentioned running away from cannibals. 

You settled back in a corner, pack held between your knees as you rummaged around for something to eat. You couldn't lie, the idea of somewhere safe to stay, at least for a while, was tempting. 

If you went, it sounded like you'd be stuck in the car with the big guy who'd grabbed you. Eh. You'd just not sit next to him, and undoubtedly once you were in town, it would be easy to avoid him. You didn't have to like him, just tolerate him enough to get in. 

And then avoid him like… Well, like a zombie.

You snickered at your own humor. 

Mind more or less made up, you settled in to have your dinner and rest for the night. You'd already blockaded yourself in pretty well. No zombies were getting in while you slept. 

And tomorrow you'd see if they really had a safe town.

[fantasy-anatomy-analyst]

apologies if this is outside your scope but do you have any advice on making anthro species cuisine reflect the diets of the animal they are based on, while still having the level of depth that human cuisine has?

oh, i love fantasy cuisine as a concept. It might help to research the diet and then also research human foods with similar ingredients, especially if you can find historical dishes from the area those ingredients originated in!

there are some food types that show up in many different cultures, which can serve as a basis for making fantasy foods.

soups!! making broth is as simple as boiling things in water for a really long time, and broth is the basis for pretty much all soups. it's not limited to meat broths! vegetable broth is also a thing that exists. soup just needs Liquid and Food Chunks. it's very easy.

bread! there are so many different forms of bread in so many cultures. wheat, rye, millet, corn, almond; pretty much any grain or nut (and even other things!) can be turned into flour, and that can be made into some form of "bread" depending on how far you stretch the definition of bread. tortillas, naan, rolls, biscuits, dumplings, etc etc. pan fried, oil fried, baked, boiled, whatever. yeast not required.

alcohol. honestly, one of the most common things in the world. wild animals get inebriated from eating fermented fruit all the time. they could most certainly make alcohol if they were sapient enough to do it on purpose.

preserved foods! pickled things, jams, jerky, fermentation, etc. finding ways to keep food safe for long periods or time is very important in pretty much every culture, and some foods require long term preservation methods to become edible in the first place, like fermented shark.

herbs and spices! number one way to make food more interesting. salt is a bare minimum: a lot of animals seek out salt as a dietary supplement! though your non-primate people species may not be able to eat things like garlic and spicy peppers (since they tend to make most animals sick) there will probably be other flavorful herbs and spices they can add to their food.

I hope that's helpful for you! good luck!

[gasolinerainbowpuddles]

ezra + bath oil + titties

GO

You absolute menace ily hahaha. Initially I was just going to do a short lil drabble that was a continuation of our disgusting musings about this man, but then I said why not make this into an entire feature in honor of @swiftiscruff's Friendship Exchange? You know, give our boy Ezra some real time to shine, and all in the name of celebrating friendships formed over that little verbose slut?

So, here is my Ezra oil shower titty fic dedicated to the lovely Kelli in celebration of the Friendship Exchange.

𝗔𝘄𝗮𝘀𝗵 𝗶𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂

PAIRING(s): Ezra x fem!reader RATING: explicit material | 18+ WORD COUNT: 3k CONTENT: AU where Cee doesn't exist sorry lmao, established relationship, titty fixation, edible/food safe bathing oils, Ezra comes with his own warning, egalitarian assplay, cumplay, fabric washcloth used as gripping agent

Your nose for the most part had become blind to Ezra’s signature, tangy musk that edged into a ripe stench on hotter days. Even though you’d settled into the outskirts of a modest trading town and begun taking on the doldrums of keeping house, Ezra hadn’t fallen from his habit of going a little too long in between bath days. In times past he would go unshowered due to lack of amenities – the worlds you’d traveled and harvested from had hardly offered much in the way of hygienic routine – but now there was no such obstacle. He could bathe any time he wished and take as long as he pleased. You had your own home together now, one you were building upon each and every day, but the transient, unpredictable life that had become so ingrained into him was hard to shake. The notion of permanence was fleeting no matter how many days passed under your roof.

You, on the other hand, had become part fish since putting down roots here. There was a bathtub and a separate shower, and you craved the warm pool of water to soak in after a long day. Ezra liked to give you grief for wasting such a precious resource as water even though this planet was abundant in it. And yet, his admonishing never kept him from slipping into the wash room to ogle your bare form in the bath. You just wish every now and then he’d partake himself.

“The suns in all their unwavering glory has me feeling wrung of every bit of moisture,” he huffs as he fills a glass with something to wet his tongue and flood his scratchy, dry throat. “It’s good fortune that we needn’t adorn ourselves in protective suits here. I can only imagine the sort of foul fog that would cling to me then.”

You’re well aware of the second sun’s habit of becoming unbearable in these few weeks that your now home planet rotates closer to it. Your skin is sticky and wet with exertion, but at least all the growth pods you and Ezra have worked so tirelessly to establish are flourishing. They needed as much extra attention as any human on this planet did during these hotter spells. Soon enough you will forget all about the vehement heat when you and Ezra take your yields to the market during The Great Exchange and come home with lighter wagons and heavier pockets.

You accept the glass from Ezra and drink down whatever he’d poured. The cool creep of it down your throat already feels one step closer to equilibrium. “I guess we should wash up before we get the entire house dirty,” you reason.

“Hm, I suppose we should.”

You trod upstairs to the bathroom and bite back a scream when you see Ezra procure one entirely too small washcloth from the cabinet.

“You’re only washing at the sink?” you ask in what you pray isn’t a too panicked timbre.

“You don’t think the sink is robust enough to address my filth?”

You scrunch your nose, and that’s all the answer he needs. He chuckles a little and sets the singular washcloth aside. It already has smudges of who knows what just from him handling it.

“Tell me what you propose, my Little Gem.” He has an easy smile and those dangerous, glittery eyes fixed onto you.

“I mean, if you’re too tired I could, you know, I wouldn’t mind getting you washed up.” You shrug as though it’s enough to offset your way too eager proposition.

“You believe my own efforts are inferior?” he teases. “My Little Gem needs to take matters into her own hands and not rely on the fates?”

“Well, you’re always talking about wasting water. Wouldn’t it be saving water if we showered together?”

He cocks an eyebrow. “You would forgo your hallowed soak just to bathe with me, Little Gem?”

“I’m way too gross to just get into a bath. It’d just be sitting in a pool of my own funk. This level of gross calls for a full on shower, I think.”

“And you’ll tend to me in there?” he purrs as he steps closer to you and curves his hands over your hips. The pungent tang of his body makes your nose scrunch again.

“Much to tend to, it seems,” he remarks in response to your overt repulsion.

You need to take Ezra up on his noncommittal commitment of getting into the shower with you before he changes his mind. You quickly concoct a plan to hold his attention and agreeability in the small shower. You grab the soaking oil you drizzle into your baths on especially achy days and prop it on the shower ledge. You start peeling off grimy, damp layers of clothing and nod to Ezra, who begins doing the same.

You cross the room to where you stow your accessories and extras and grab a few items to pin your hair back. The last thing you need is something getting in the way of you giving him a thorough scrub down. Ezra saunters after you like a cat on the prowl, eyes roaming greedily up and down. Before he can derail the entire enterprise, you slink into the shower and start the water.

The initially cool spray is a contrary sensation to the heat emanating from your skin, but it quickly warms to a soothing slip. The stall darkens as he steps inside, broad shoulders blocking out the light struggling to filter in through the expanse of him. His frame was a thickened amalgamation of corded musculature padded in the softened flesh of a satiating supper every evening. The work here kept him lean for the most part, but you much preferred this iteration of him – all brawn and lithe but with the markers of an untroubled life.

“It seems all displeasure with my hygiene is forgotten once I’m naked as the day I was born,” he murmurs low and self-satisfied.

You roll your eyes but know he’s correct. A lover as competent and enthusiastic as Ezra meant overlooking other personal drawbacks wasn’t too difficult. “I’m sizing up my work,” you protest.

“And what do you make of its sizing?” he purrs with a gentle roll of his hips against you.

You knew this was where things would go almost immediately, and yet you still had the nerve to be caught off guard. “Ezra,” you grit out. You guide him under the stream and tell him to stay put while you grab the stack of washcloths you’ll need.

Upon your return you note the ashen brown water falling from him and circling the drain. “I must admit–” he says through the water rushing over him. Your eyes catch the flex of his biceps as he raises his arms up to work the water through his hair and scalp. “–There is something quite divine about the ritual. All sins washed away. A clean slate. A pure soul ready to be defiled once again. Isn’t that right, Little Gem?”

“What?” you mumble absentmindedly, too preoccupied on ogling the trail of water snaking down his torso and into the thicket of brown coarse hairs below his waist.

He only grins with a devious slant to his mouth and pulls you under the spray with him. His hands wander across your body in a lazy exploration. The only thing keeping you from abandoning your task altogether and just letting him take you right there in the shower is the persistent odor still clinging to him, now taking on a damp quality that only heightens the earthy grub and grit components within.

“Take a seat on the ledge, Ezra.”

He gropes the curve of your ass and presses a few kisses to the column of your neck before complying. “I’m at your disposal.” He spreads his arms open, inviting the work and focus of your hands on him.

You avoid looking at his half hard cock bobbing gently with every movement and soap up the first cloth. You try to avoid the snare of his gaze as you begin scrubbing his face, but he catches you with it as you lather through his beard. The corner of his mouth pulls up, an instant reassurance that he knows exactly the effect he has on you.

His face is a brighter, pinker vision once you rinse it, and it solidifies your resolve to scrub every inch of this man while he’s indulging your whim. His hands roam up and down your legs as you scratch and scour his hair. The fragrance of the soap combined with the purged dirt fills the space. You move to your hands and knees and start scrubbing from toe to knee then thigh to groin. He surprisingly doesn’t make too much of a fuss, which is good considering it takes three separate washcloths to get that section entirely cleaned.

“Surely I’ve indulged your caretaking long enough to have earned a different kind of corporeal attention?” He leans forward and noses at your neck and earlobe, and your body shivers despite the warm rush of water trailing down your back.

“Grab that bottle to your left,” you order as you start scrubbing down his torso. Your breath catches when your wrist bumps into his fully hardened, weeping cock, and you catch the curve of a smirk playing on his mouth. He holds up the unlabeled bottle and gives it a questioning shake. 

“An aphrodisiac?” His eyebrow cocks in devilish curiosity.

“Bath oil,” you snort. “You can, um, put some on me while I’m working on you. You know, just so it has time to soak in before I wash up, too. If you don’t mind.”

His eyes narrow and pull the edge of his mouth upward. He sees right through you, just like he always does. “Here I was thinking my purest Little Gem wouldn’t resort to such lowly deceit and bribery.” He pops the cap of the bath oil open and drizzles a moderate amount into his hand before setting the bottle aside again. He’s clearly amused with the ruse you’ve concocted, but unfettered exploration of your body is apparently a bribe he’s willing to accept.

“Resume your venture to free me from all the remnants of my labors,” he obliges.

“You know, you could just say ‘keep scrubbing me because I know I still smell’, Ez.”

He grins and raises his hands until they hover above your chest, little trickling lines of oil falling onto the slope of your breasts and dripping down slowly. You push your tongue against the back of your teeth to keep yourself grounded. If Ezra decided to start toying with you, you didn’t stand a chance at resisting his efforts.

You slather his arms from wrist to shoulder and work your way to his torso. Meanwhile he grazes a slick finger against your nipples in a ghost of a touch that has you subconsciously chasing his hand. You finish underneath each of his armpits, and, just when he’s behaved himself long enough to catch you off guard, he flicks one of your nipples hard with the edge of a fingernail. A shaky gasp of sharp pleasure flies from your throat quickly followed by a second one when he does it to the other side.

“See to my hindparts, won’t you?” he solicits with a deceptively innocent expression.

You clench your teeth together and take a step forward so you can reach over his shoulders and wash his back. He dips his head and takes as much of your breast into his mouth as he can and suctions with as much strength as he can exert. You yelp and attempt to release the clutch of his mouth from your sensitive bud, but he only sucks harder with a satisfied groan. His arms circle around each of your legs and cause you to lose your footing, which he uses as a distraction to switch sides.

Little pinpricks of purple have cropped up in a bloom of red from where he already sucked, and the force of his pull now promises no different for the other side. He loved to do this to you – get you off kilter, overstimulated, and seeking out more, often all at once. Your breaths come out whiny as he latches and pulls on your nipples and tissue.

“Ez,” you gasp. “I’m–I have to–to finish.”

He grips the flesh of your ass and pulls one cheek aside so that he can deftly push a thick fingertip into your puckering rim. It glides in with no resistance, and you almost think the oil wasn’t even necessary with how much you ached for him to fill you there. He pulls away just enough to disorient you with his intoxicating diction.

“Perhaps before our wash is complete, you’ll be beseeching me just to feel the breadth of me cleaving you apart,” he husks. “Nearly weeping for me to bury my cock in this hole just as you did only two nights ago.”

 “It feels good,” you mewl weakly. 

He hums low and gravelly in agreement as he resumes his ministrations on your breasts. The tip of his finger plunges shallow, a slow in and out, and you know it’s just to tease you for what you won’t get until you are begging him for it. You think that he must revel in the sway he has over you when he so fervently succumbs to you. There’s something so raw and vulnerable in the way he cannot deny his devotion and attachment to you, and so he must have some part of you in the same way as to not feel entirely powerless.

You’re panting despite exerting very little energy at the moment. “I-I really need to finish washing you u—”

He pops off with a loud smack and abruptly stands. He crowds you against the corner and props a foot up on the ledge, caging you in with his cock right at your eye level. Your hands rush with a washcloth and soap, now more greedy to feel him than cleanse him. You lather his entire groin area and resist the urge to lick up the beads of precum dribbling from his ruddy tip. Your eyes keep traveling up to meet his where he watches down on you with an almost omnipotent, divine consideration.

The last washcloth falls to the shower floor, and Ezra slowly walks backward into the water to rinse himself. It’s probably just a trick of the mind, but you swear he appears less hazy than usual with all the grime cleared from him. Your mouth is slack as you watch from your hands and knees on the shower floor, impossibly cramped into the corner of the small space. He smiles down at you. You know how much he loves seeing you on your knees in front of him.

Without a word, he moves the shower head to the side so that it pelts against the tile instead of spraying down on you both before turning around and hitching his other leg up on the ledge. He braces himself on the wall and the wobbly metal and glass door on the other side.

“Reap the benefits of your work, Little Gem,” he says over his shoulder.

You frantically douse your hand with a generous dab of the bath oil and walk on your knees until your mouth is flush against the cleft of his ass. A strangled whimper ekes out of him as you reach a hand between his legs and stroke his neglected cock with the slippery pull of the oil. You entrench your face into him until your flicking tongue delves into his asshole. You massage and prod into it, eyes rolling back when you feel how it clenches in delight at your motions.

Ezra turns again to face you now with what can only be described as a wild, hungry look in his eye. He takes the neatly stacked pile of used washcloths and tosses them onto the floor. You have no time to question his motives because he’s grabbing the bottle of oil and squeezing globs of it onto your breasts, barely returning the bottle to its place on the shelf before he’s massaging them and awkwardly shoving his cock between them and rutting against their pillowy, fleshy tightness.

“Shit,” he hisses. “That ass. That asshole of yours. These tits.” He sounds pained just trying to speak. His face screws up as he fucks between them, moaning appreciatively when you use your hands to press them closer together for him to fuck.

“You like my tits?” you ask a little breathlessly.

He makes a noise of great effort, eyes pinching shut at your goading question. He frees his cock and takes the flat of his hand to slap against your peaked buds. You cry out in pleasure at the sharp, blissful sting. “Bet I could make you come for me just like this. Couldn’t I, Little Gem?” he grits.

“Y-Yes,” you moan.

He makes some unhinged noise and slaps against your breasts in quick succession, barking out an order for you to touch yourself, and teeth glinting in the light with a manic grin as you climax. He starts fisting his length over your face, breaths coming fast and heavy.

“Open wide now,” he pants as he tugs his cock faster. The tip of it knocks against your lip, and you open wider with your tongue jutting flat and spread out for him to cover.

“Just like that Little Gem,” he rasps. “Hold it open and drink me.”

A few short strokes is all it takes before he’s moaning and erupting all over your face and mouth, the hot, thick bands of his spend sticking to your skin wherever they land. He doesn’t stop jerking himself until every last drop is spent. When he’s finally done, he smears his softening cock against your face, collecting his cum in sloppy swipes.

“Now look who is soiled, Little Gem,” he hums. “Clean up the mess you’ve made.” He watches you with half-lidded eyes and a heaving chest. “Wouldn’t want to leave things filthy, would you?”

You oblige and take him into your mouth, sucking and licking until every trace of his spend has been swallowed.

[alienaiver]

Give me your headcanons about Kenma please?

here they are !!!! :3

Songs on his iPod: i think kenma really, really likes OST's mixed in with some mindless pop that can go on repeat in the background when he games alone.

Pokemon Sword and Shield OST - Gym Leader Battle All Time Low - Jon Bellion Amusement Park - Nier:Automata OST

The one place they fall asleep – where they’re not supposed to: ooooh kenma definitely has a terrible habit of doing this as a general quirk of his. IF and only IF there are people he is safe and comfortable around (you, his team, family, hinata) he won't have ANY qualms about snoozing for a second if there's a moment that calls for it. most chaotic moment was during his own hospital visit. he'd hosted a 48-hour livestream and passed the hell out because of course he also didnt eat properly during. the doctor popped out for a moment to check something from a chart, and when he came back, kenma was asleep. it worried the doctor to no end for a second, before he realized the cat-like barely-adult-adult was simply snoozing. you and kuroo apologizes profusely, but the doctor chalks it down to the weird thing he was doing online before he came. assigns rest as medication.

The game they’d destroy everyone else at: there's no doubt that kenma's a class A gamer in every game to exist. the most infuriating one - the one that kuroo HATES that he always wins - is ludo. its a game that runs on pure chance half the time, yet kenma's never lost a single game, not to you or anyone else. hinata's little sister came close one time, though. that made kenma's brow sweat a little.

The emoticon they’d use most often: 👍. its easy during streams, its easy if hes sleepy, its easy if hes busy. it confirms whatever people want from him in a second.

What they act like when they haven’t had enough sleep: practically non-verbal. eyes squinted and barely able to do things required of him. he gropes and grabs at random stuff in his cabinet or fridge to find something edible and his phone is all up in his face. you mostly talk aloud to yourself during those times.

Their preferred hot beverage on really cold nights or mornings: kenma doesn't advertise it a lot, but he loves a good, warm bubble tea with tapioca. it has to be a black tea or he isn't having it.

How they like to comfort/care for themselves in a slump: kenma calls kuroo. slumps are his arch nemesis, the boss battle he cannot handle alone. so back up and support characters are needed.

What they wanted to be when they grew up: im pretty sure kenma achieved exactly what he dreamt of: freedom to play his beloved video games in the capacity that he does.

Their favorite kind of weather: overcast, but not humid or rainy. it's a perfectly acceptable day to stay indoors.

Thoughts on their singing voice: i think kenma is a very nice tenor, but he doesnt have the confidence or skills to really sing from his stomach, so it comes out shallow and off.

How/what they like to draw or doodle: he likes to doodle weapons from his games. the master sword from legend of zelda, cloud's buster sword, and the keyblades from kingdom hearts. it's all a cute, non-detailed chibi style tho, only marking what makes the sword stand out. mostly, hes the only one who can name them all if hes sitting thru a long enough meeting to draw multiple.

send me a character and ill fill out these headcanons

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I've been feeling inclined to vent about the general concept of "substance use" and "dependency" recently for no particular reason, and it's probably just my own brain finally processing some of the things that happened to me in The Bad Times but what the hell lets go with it.

I was pretty much straight edge until my mid 20s, no alcohol, cigarettes, weed, nothing. Then I got into a series of abusive relationships, nearly died of Mystery Diseases, and a pandemic happened right after. My life went from barely getting by in the world to bouncing between constant crises overnight. I was in therapy and had been for years, I had self care tools and was using them. I was medicated for all of my diagnosed mental health needs (ADHD wasn't on the record yet, so was still unmanaged, but I was doing my best behaviorally to keep on top of shit, obviously that stopped working fast). I worked full time plus going to school part time plus working part time at my internship for a grand total of about 90 hrs per week of work/school related obligations. I lived with several other people who I worked to support financially and who I needed to also support emotionally, and I still managed to run my household for the most part with minimal support except from wifey who was also working about 60-70 hour weeks at her own job to help us make ends meet and was only barely medicated and managed herself. I genuinely don't know when I slept or rested.

The first thing I tried was weed. I used edibles to sleep without nightmares or the anxieties that would keep me up for the rare few hours I had to rest. It also helped with the constant pain I was in. I would get high as fuck on a weed brownie or a pre roll on the one day off I had each month so I didn't have to think or feel or exist because it was the only way I could find to genuinely relax anymore without worrying about the growing mountain of Life Responsibilities that I could never catch up on. Life eased a bit, and I kept doing that.

One day, I had a rare night off, and wifey was going to go out to a club with some friends. I hadn't been anywhere fun in years. I hadn't had time or money or energy. I was desperate to see people and relax and maybe sance a little. A pandemic was on, and the local clubs were having discounts like mad. We went and got shitfaced on cocktails that cost less than lunch at a diner for a round and I made out with a cute girl and I came home laughing for the first time in years. From then on, we would keep a cheap six pack of something in the fridge and every once in a while I would down 2-3 and get fucked up for a bit between that and the weed. Life felt a bit easier and I kept going.

But behind the scenes the cracks kept forming. It wasn't the substances that were causing them. And they weren't even what was making it worse. But they were letting me pretend those cracks weren't there. Letting me run from a reality I knew I couldn't fix. By the time I realized how bad things had gotten, how deep into the pit I was, I was living in a tent in the woods, cooking my dinners on a campfire with my family, throwing back weed and cheap booze like my life depended on it because god what the fuck else do you have when a creek and a rainstorm are the closest you get to a shower and your bed is a pile of blankets in a military surplus tent with all the warm bodies piled together so you don't fucking freeze at night?

I was still working full time though, and for those hours, I had to be sober. No if ands or buts about it. And I was okay with that line, even if it left me riddled with anxiety and trauma and stress 16 hours a day while I worked my doubles in the ER and came home to try and scrub the COVID off in the creek before I went back to the tent. And then a coworker asked me if I wanted to join her on a cigarette break. I did. I desperately wanted to feel normal. To chitchat and talk about nothing important, and feel the breeze on my face. So I bummed a cigarette and smoked with her. That one cigarette became 3 a day. Then 6. Then, a whole pack. A nervous habit of sucking on a cigarette or a vape whenever I needed to fidget or relax while still being sober. It's been 3 years now and I've tried to quit half a dozen times but here I am in my fucking home office pulling on a cigarette like it's my last hope of comfort.

I don't drink anymore though. My body won't let me. Blah blah allergic reactions blah blah. Fine. I kept trying for a while, allergies be damned. But it stopped being worth it. Sometimes the cigarettes aren't worth it either. I choke on every inhale and my body dry heaves like it knows I'm putting in something it doesn't want. On those days I don't smoke. I don't think there have been many days I've gone without weed. I honestly don't know what to do with myself on the days I abstain. Like I do? I can cope. I just. I'm still so tired.

The part of me that broke all those years ago and said fuck it, lets see what drugs do, is still recovering. It's still resting and healing. Some days are better than others. Some days it does fine and it says "lets fuckin rawdog the day my mans" and I do, and it's great. Other times it's so small and frail that I know if I tried I might break it again, and I just can't risk that.

I've been told before that this is dependency. Maybe even misuse. I've been told by others that this is the point. If it's helping, then let it. I don't know what the answer is. Some days I resent not being the person I was before I started using weed and cigarettes to get through the day. I've tried other things too, and they've never done much for me, so I never went back. Does that mean that I'm not "dependent" I'm "self-medicating"? Is that a good or a bad thing? Does it fucking matter? I honestly don't know. I wish it didn't feel like it mattered. I wish that I could go through my days and feel like I had more of a choice. I actually miss being able to get high lol. Like weed hasn't given me an actual high in years, it just. Helps me get through things a little better. But how much am I really willing to keep living that way? How much of my life do I *want* impacted by whether or not I can smoke or have some thc? Some days it's fine. Some days I'm bothered by it.

The thing that gets me every time though is how at every single point when I made the choice to pick up a new "substance" it was because I was desperate, overwhelmed, and completely without alternatives. I knew full goddamn well every time what I was doing. I had years of both anti-drug war knowledge and addiction/recovery knowledge in my brain and I understood that I was at my most vulnerable, I was my most at risk. That making this choice could be fine or could be life changing or could be somewhere in between and it was worth being self aware as I did it. But I just. I was so tired. I was so broken down. I just needed to rest. I needed to feel something other than the stress and fear for a while. And no one was offering me anything else that made a dent. Trust me. I tried.

I don't say this to suggest to people that Drugs Are The Answer. I genuinely don't think they are. I still wish every day I had never picked up that first cigarette. I still wish that I felt well enough to live my life without needing help to rest and recover. But I can't blame anyone who makes the choices I did. I can't doubt the feelings of need and desperation that often drive us to interact with our support tools the way we do. I've also found over the years, that it's not just "substances" that people will turn to for help with avoidance the way I did. Avoidance is so very very human, and the way I skirted around acknowledging how beyond my capacity for repair my life was getting (even while actively working to resolve those things) had more to do with mh inability to acknowledge that I was failing people I loved than what tool I was using to avoid the acknowledgement. It could just as easily have been my work, or video games, or shopping, or gardening, or anything else in the world that allowed me to isolate myself in a world that felt smaller and simpler for a while so I could take a break from problem solving the way the rest of my world was steadily crumbling around me. I chose weed, alcohol and nicotine. Other people will make other choices. But maybe we all sometimes run away from problems we realize we can't solve until one day we're backed into a corner we can't run from. Maybe that's just human. Maybe the drugs just made me feel less like shit while I ran. And maybe that's part of how I survived to make things right for myself.

I really don't know. I can't know.

What I do know is that I left the relationship that was destroying my life. I'm safe now, and wifey and I are doing much better now that our communication isn't being actively sabotaged. I'm doing much better now healthwise that the food in my home is consistently safe to eat for me and I'm not being left without any food at all on a semi-regular basis. I *am* still the primary breadwinner of the household, but it no longer feels as though I have to run the household itself on top of that, and I *am* consistently supported (encouraged even) to rest when needed, even if that is still hard for me to do. I've stopped drinking, and that does feel better. I spend less time and energy seeking substances and I *do* smoke fewer cigarettes less often even if I do still smoke sometimes. I feel happier and more stable than I think I ever have. My life is. Mostly working? And pretty good now. The cracks have been able to heal in ways that are, if not structurally sound, at least working up to it. I am fragile, but making progress. Does that mean I made the right choices? The wrong ones? Will I ever know?

I dunno comrade. But. We all do what we can, what we must, and what we can figure out. Maybe judgement and shame about all that just doesn't help.

[melancholysway]

Hello! Uhm, I so wanted to request a 2012 Leo x GN!reader long shot, where the reader has dissociation and anxiety often causing them to go to Leo for grounding and comfort.

Dissociation symptoms:

- Sometimes feeling disconnected from yourself and the world around you.

- Feeling detached from your body or feel as though the world around you is unreal/artificial.

- Disconnection and lack of continuity between thoughts, memories, surroundings, actions, and identity.

I wanted to request this because I often feel alone and overwhelmed when I go through my own dissociative episodes, sometimes even wishing someone could be there for me, to hug me, rub my back, and tell me everything is going to be okay.

If you could do this, I would be extremely grateful. If you can’t, that’s okay, either way, I hope you’re having a nice day/night/afternoon/whatever lmao.

Thank you!

TMNT 2012!Leonardo x GN!Reader: Dissociation

 Hi! I’ve actually experienced dissociation while I was high. I had to stop taking edibles because of a bad high, where it turned into an anxiety attack and felt completely not myself and had an out-of-body experience. I can only smoke it now. So I completely understand this! I had to deal with it on my own since I took them while I was home alone and couldn’t tell my parents about it. It was seriously scary, so writing this would be helpful for me as well :), thank you for your request! I hope you enjoy, seriously!

It’s a scary feeling. Feeling like everything around you is some sort of stimulation. That we’re just players in this game called life, being controlled by someone like a video game character. 

The idea that everything can go wrong is terrifying, when you’re alone, it’s even worse. 

You’ve had those feelings of dissociation before, the episodes were pretty bad. They weren’t as bad as now, especially because you were dating a mutant turtle. 

Now, it may seem odd, but, dating someone that everyone thinks can’t exist only makes those episodes worse. Leonardo and his whole family didn’t seem real to people. Because they don’t know of their existence. 

When you first met them, you had to keep telling yourself they were very much real. It’s probably weird to say, but, you had to physically touch each turtle. Even Raph. Yes, Raph. 

He was uncomfortable at first, but as long as you don’t do that again, you’ll be on good terms. And you were, or, are. You’re on good terms with Leo’s brothers. 

The hole in your stomach when it came to anxiety, and that looming cloud over your head whilst experiencing it seemed to die whenever you were around the turtles. They were your safety, and as long as they were around, nothing could happen to you. No outside force would even touch you, Y/n L/n. Especially if Leonardo was still breathing and walking this Earth, nobody would take you like some have tried to take April. Leo was devoted to you, and he made sure you were safe.

A lot of the time, dissociation happens when you’re alone. It barely happens around the turtles. They keep your mind off of any negative thoughts. Splinter as well; he understands the dangers of anxiety and lifts your spirits every time you’re around. Leonardo, the boyfriend, puts forth a lot of effort to do so. Meditation is his main suggestion to be of help. It allows for a clear mind to where you’re fully aware of yourself and everything around you. A lot of the time, it helps, but it’s almost impossible to do it alone. Believe me, you’ve tried. Meditation seems to only work fully when Leo does it with you.

He doesn’t mind at all.

Because for you, he’d do anything to help you through an anxiety-induced event. 

“I’m…not really sure.” You sit on your bed, shifting uncomfortably as Leonardo makes his way through your window. The turtle stands in front of you, placing his hands on top of yours. 

“Do you feel that?” He asks, hopeful to get you through this wave successfully. You seemingly stare into nothingness, the room around you becoming panoramic in nature through your lens.

When you don’t feel his hands, you begin to breathe sporadically. Is Leo even with you right now? Is he even real? You feel something atop your hands, but it doesn’t feel authentic. It’s almost as if your room is a holograph, with Leonardo being an A.I of some sort. It’s not real. But, if he’s not real, were you even real? Was this room you were in even yours?

Leonardo knew it would be bad when you texted him a rather odd message. When you were typing it appeared to be jumbled up nonsense, but it made sense to you. So, without a second thought, he ditched the Space Heroes re-run and came over to you. You see, Leonardo was the perfect turtle to receive help and comfort from. He’s caring, he’s patient, and with you, wow, he puts an effort to be the person you can run to for soothing. 

Because, that’s just how Leo is wired. His entire aura seems to burst with yellow. A bright color, one that indicates a pleasant sense of self. One with confidence, and one that can inspire others to be the same. As soon as Leonardo steps into a room with his brothers in it, they can’t help but feel at ease. Since, well, the blue-eyed leader tends to solve everyone’s problems. So, when he bursts through your window like the ball of sun he is, glowing with concern, he knows that he has to really find a way to help. 

Leonardo often wonders if he is enough for you, because he’s in a constant battle with himself to be the best he can be. He wonders how you see him, or what you think of him. It’s not like you don’t tell him all the time how great he is to you, it’s just, well, he can’t believe it sometimes. That he actually found someone who loves him in a way that his brothers assumed they would never experience. Sure, Raph had Mona Lisa, and Mikey had Renet, and Donnie…well, Donnie is going through his own thing, but you get the idea. Leonardo wondered if he would find that love. He can admit that before he knew Karai was Miwa, that he had some sort of crush on her, but…you know- she’s family. He doesn’t think of her like that at all now; that’s his sister. And, he loves Karai like family. The right way.

So when you told Leo that you loved him for the very first time- a sudden outburst- he was over the moon. That’s what he had been wanting this whole time. For someone to reciprocate the love he gave them. You just so happened to be that person he loved as well. 

So, as he looks at you, shaking from the sudden lack of thoughts you’re having and disconnection from everything around you, he absolutely has to hug you. To let you know that this thing called life is real. To let you know that he’s very much real, your life is real, everything you’re second-guessing being real is…well…real.  That the Earth spinning on an axis is so fucking real, and that he could get Donnie to tell you about it for hours and hours just so you know you’re not crazy. 

Because, you’re not crazy. 

Leonardo knows that, and he makes sure that you know it, too.

So as he slowly pulls his hands away, and lifting you up from the bed, letting you use him as leverage, he plants your bare feet on the carpet, so you can feel it. You’re standing on carpet, there’s nothing artificial about that. The feeling of the tiny microfibers tickling your feet, and the dust that gets stuck in between the nylon fiber. Those are all real. That the feet you’re using to stand on are yours. Everyone has them, but these are exclusive to you.

“Here, take a step forward after me,” He holds your hands, looking at you as he takes one step back, patiently waiting for you to do the same. You squeeze your eyes shut, using your other senses to help you. The eyes may play tricks on you. As you take that first step, you can feel your leg move- on your command, not anyone else’s. You feel your feet plant on the carpet, and nobody had moved you but yourself. Because, you got this. You’re in control. 

“Now, you step where you want to go.” After Leo had gotten you comfortable enough to open your eyes, he smiles gently,  “Just focus on me, okay? I’ll be right here to follow.” You search around, wondering where you should go, realizing that it’s sort of hard to see in your now dimly lit room. To avoid any type of overstimulation, Leonardo took it upon himself to lower the brightness in your room. 

You step to your left, watching as Leo does the same, following suite like he promised. His hands are still in yours, not thinking to let go. 

“Keep going,” Another step, and another. 

That out-of-body experience seems to calm, as you can feel yourself becoming one with your mind and body. That your brain and soul are very present, inside of your body.

Leo begins his affirmations, something he’s learned that always works, no matter what problem may arise. He’s one with himself, and can pass that positivity to you. 

“I’m not a figment of your episode. I’m real, very, very much real,” 

You repeat his words, seeing the image of Leo in front of you to appear authentic after every positive affirmation. 

He exists. 

His brothers exist. 

May be out of science fiction, but it’s very real. It’s so real, that you can remember what the sewer smells like in the summer when Leonardo mentions it. You couldn’t forget that smell, especially with the humidity. 

He’s helping you through this, he tells you. Because he loves you, and that after this is all said and done, you’ll be okay. 

It’s the truth, you’re going to be okay. 

So as time goes on with Leonardo following your every move, watching you patiently and hopeful that you’ll recover, you come down from that out-of-body feeling. You’re 100% you, 100% in control, and this world around you was 100% real. 

If this wasn’t enough, he sits with you on your bed, only to lay down and face one another. He mouths a slow ‘I love you,’ before bringing you close to him, entertwining his arms with yous as your face is buried in his plastron. His scent, always smelling like white tea with a hint of sage, goes into your nostrils and sends a message to your brain that, this is in fact your boyfriend of so many months. That he’s hugging you, making sure you’re okay- rubbing your back with his free hand and quietly speaking more positive affirmations into the atmosphere. That you’re going to be okay, and that he’s always going to be here for you. 

Because he is. He cares about you too much to see you like this. He does everything in his power to help, and it works. 

Oh God, it works. 

As you utilize your 5 senses again, you can feel everything around you. You’re not just looking through a glass or a floating body. You’re grounded, and you’re safe. 

You can feel Leo’s strong arms around you and the circles being rubbed into your back, how gentle his hands were on your body; how they always were. He was always so gentle with you. Treating you as softly as he knew how, because you did the same. 

You can see his plastron, although hard to see, you can faintly make out the marks that he’s gotten from each and every battle he’s been in. You place your hand on his plastron, using your fingers to feel every ridge or scratch on it. 

You can hear his heartbeat, as you place your ear on his chest, feeling his body heave everytime he took a breath. He did this slowly, as he had told you to breathe in and out slowly with him while you lay together, intertwined with one another. 

You fall in love with his scent all the time, he starts to smell like the tea he always drinks, and the sage his Sensei always burns in the dojo. You absolutely cannot complain, Leonardo, in your opinion, has the best scent. Albeit that statement is heavily biased. 

And finally, as Leonardo places a kiss on your forehead, you lift your head from being buried in his clutches and look up at him. He places a soft, gentle kiss on your lips, and you can taste him. He always tasted like spearmint, since, well, he was always chewing gum. You never knew why, but he mentioned once that it had something to do with stress. Since he can’t exactly smoke, he takes his stress out on a piece of Orbit Spearmint gum.

As you come back full circle to reality, you can’t help but hug your boyfriend. Leonardo is truly a gem, and an amazing boyfriend. He’s always there to help you out during times like these, but this one felt different. He tried new methods, like making you walk barefoot on the carpet, something he hasn’t done before. It seemed as though he knew exactly what he was doing, knowing it’ll be of help somewhat.

 Leo had done extensive research. 

To be able to help you fully. That he had a bunch of methods up his sleeve to pick out to better help you based on the situation. 

And for that, you can’t help but thank him. With a soft smile, and another kiss, but this one, is long and more passionate. 

Leonardo always gets that pink blush on his cheeks after kisses like that, and he smiles brightly when he comes to the realization that he’s successfully got you back. He has you back, his Y/n back.  

As he pulls you in for another hug, he whispers quietly, but loud enough for you to hear,

“I love you, Hana.”

And he does, he truly does. 

//

Taglist:

@bee-1n-space

Masterlist

[cloudycaffeinatedcryptid]

What do you think the comfort activities would be for each counselor? Like if they had a really long or bad day and they just want to decompress at the end of it?

ooooh thank you so much for this <3 this is the perfect break between writing binges & i love this question!! prepare for a lot of headcanons, i had to think about this a lot

Abi - i think she draws, that's pretty canon, it calms her down. i also think she paints when she really wants to zone out & not think (she loves watercolor but she's been experimenting with acrylics lately) & she does a lot of landscape paintings. the only color that usually sits untouched is red. the smears on her fingers bring up bad memories. she also burns relaxing incense & listens to soothing instrumental tracks

Ryan - he listens to his podcast usually, but i think his sister plays piano (she's very good) & she often gets him to sit down so she can teach him scales or beginner songs & it relaxes him. otherwise i can see him settling down in the comfortable chair wedged in the corner of his room with his drawing tablet, lights dim, & just working on some art. occasionally his sis barges in to play her DS on his bed while he does & then they both just exist together in silence

Nick - they give us so little about Nick that i honestly could just say anything about this freak. but i think he gets stoned & watches terrible movies when he needs to decompress. he's seen Llamageddon eight times. i can also see him going for short walks or half-listening to nature documentaries while he cooks

Emma - when she needs to wind down, she love taking hot baths. she has a ton of bath bombs & oils & products, so she lights some scented candles, turns off the lights, puts on some relaxing tunes, & soaks. i also think she learned to sew so she could mend her own expensive clothes, but then she ended up enjoying it, so she sew/embroiders sometimes on the side to relax. she prolly does yoga too

Kaitlyn - she goes for runs, for sure. it's good exercise, builds her stamina, & helps keep her mind off... everything. she likes the early morning runs when it's just chilly enough to barely see her breath & she has a killer playlist for them. her guilty pleasure is rupaul's drag race & so every season you can catch her, fresh out of the shower, in her sweats, mug of coffee in hands & a bottle of wine on the table, pore strips on, enraptured & getting way too intense about the show

Dylan - this mans pops three edibles & opens the NASA website so he can watch space in real time. if he can manage it, he'll lay for hours on the floor with his cat purring on his chest. sometimes he'll watch cartoons or sci-fi shows to zone out, or he'll put on his headphones & try to forget the world. no i'm not projecting

Jacob - he strikes me as the kind of person who considers working out to be relaxing, so he spends a lot of his free time doing that. otherwise i see him being into cheesy rom-coms (altho he'd never admit it) so some nights he makes himself some popcorn, mixes in m&ms, & settles in to watch The Notebook for the tenth time

Laura - she's def one of those ppl who can't go too long without doing something so her "relaxing" time is usually cleaning, animal care - possibly a gamer. she likes staying busy. whenever she actually settles down to relax, it's usually with & bc of Max. they play checkers together & watch movies they can make fun of. they binge criminal minds together. she's not great in the kitchen but she helps Max bake sometimes & she's an expert on the grill. i think she would enjoy taking up gardening if they get their own property

Max - he loves his relaxation time. he bakes, he naps, he definitely would enjoy gardening, but he always relaxes easier when he's with Laura <3 he prolly plays idle video games like animal crossing, he was for sure heavy into pokemon, & he loves cartoons. the most relaxing time of the day for him is 3pm, when he can eat cereal on the couch & watch scooby-doo, & he doesn't need a blanket bc the blinds are open & the sun keeps him warm :)

[azuremliam]

Question!

Does the cordyceps fungus exist in Bug-world?

((btw i LOVE your world building!! :D its very well made!))

@bringerofmilk Ngl your ask has perfect timing because I was actually just working on stuff for Cordyceps in Bug World! (And thank you!!!!!!!! :D)

Liam has gotten into a bit of an argument with Scarab about said fungus actually! The fungus wouldn't infect him (his kind may look like bugs but they're they're shapeshifters) but Liam has seen what it does to insect people and hates the thought of Scarab winding up like them.

More drawings and big time infodumping/elaborating about it under the readmore! :)

Cordyceps in Bug World is common in certain areas, mostly near sections of giant fungal forests! It doesn't infect humans, or most mutants changed by the mushroom (lol) war toxic wastes.

It does 100% infect the giant humanoid insects changed my Myriaxanthus' primordial magic however. It's not frequent- but those that choose to live near the fungus forest have high infection rates.

You'd think, "why do some insect folk choose to live near there if there's a high fatality rate because of it?"

Other mushrooms tasty- a more elaborate explanation: Generations of insect people have history of farming safer fungus, and just simply live with the risks! Some, however few, species have developed a natural immunity to the fungal take over- but not many boast the same ability.

Healthier and younger insect folk have more likely instances of their antibodies neutralizing the spores on the other hand. So older or sick bugs living near it tend to be the most frequent infected.

Those on the outskirts of the fungal forests who get infected, slowly start to forget things. Until all the remains is the urge to go into the fungus filled forest and climb to the highest point.

Those infected wandering into the forest are allowed in without a fuss by the guards. It's a painful thing to go through for infected, but said pain diminishes when within the depths of the forest.

It's not very studied by the denizens of Bug World, but its all agreed that allowing them passage within the forest is the kinder option because of the numbness gained for those slowly growing the new mushrooms breaking out of their bodies.

It's very common with the ants farming edible fungus living nearby.

Depending on the progression of the infection, some can still slightly recognize and communicate with other's passing by. Mostly simple gestures and words, like "hello", "go this way" "dangerous" and a very, very common word said by infected "goodbye".

The spires of mushrooms tower high, and if looked closed enough at, bare shapes of those unfortunate to get infected, now completely consumed by the fungus.

Liam hates mushrooms because of this, and will never eat any despite what anyone says if they're safe eat. This paranoia sticks with their Cosmic self too!

And also, despite their phobia, they have to traverse through said forests to deliver packages occasionally to the mushroom farms.

The hate it- but it's their job and they gotta do it. Especially when only non-insectoid couriers are allowed passage through. It makes them really sad when they pass by any unfortunate insect aimlessly wandering about though.

The outfit Liam is wearing is co-made by the Fire and Candy Kingdoms! The insides keep the wearer cool, while the outer is hot enough to incinerate any floating spores that come in contact with it. It's a requirement for all couriers seeking passage at checkpoints through fungal forests.

Said checkpoints surround a one mile radius of the fungal forests and are managed by the Fire Kingdom! There's Death warning signs outside of the literal fire wall for precautions during high winds.

When gusts of winds kick up the guards stationed there flare up the said fire wall installations and keep the flames up and running until it calms down. They also do "trimming" to the towers of mushrooms- they can't exceed the height of the fire wall (which gets pretty high up in the sky!)

It's especially dangerous (for bug people at least but any person with spores getting on their clothing can spread it unintentionally) to be near during rainstorms. So hives and towns don't tend to be near any of the farming areas at all.

Even the giant golden beasts tend to avoid the fungal forests!

[sticktopia]

Sticktober Days 12-21

(Sorry for disappearing! It’s been hecktic here. These journal entries should clear everything up)

Day 1

The other day, a strange portal appeared in the garden. At first, we weren't sure what it was. But upon closer inspection, we found that it was a nether portal. It looked weird since it wasn't in the typical “Minecraft artstyle”. But it was here in our world. That should have been impossible considering we don't exist in or around the Minecraft world.

Aster really wanted to go in. He had never seen the nether and wanted to experience it himself. Since I've played minecraft back when I was younger, I knew the dangers that lurked within the dimension. I tried convincing him that going would be dangerous, but then Razz hopped in saying that they wanted to see the nether for themself as well. Soon, all my blossoms decided that they wanted to go to the nether as well.

After a bunch of begging from them, I finally allowed them to enter. But they could only go if they learned the rules of the world and how to craft. It took many days, but they did eventually get their recipes down. Once they were prepared, we entered the portal.

(Little side note, For some reason, when I walked through the portal, my body became my minecraft skin. It was weird being a block person. But I guess I'm used to it at this point.)

I led the other five around the nether. I explained what they didn't understand and stopped them from falling into lava. That was exhausting all on it’s own. What I didn't expect however was that I would be stuck here.

As we made our way back to the portal, we were suddenly attacked by a ghast. I told my blossoms to run to the portal and that I would stay behind and fend off the ghast. They all made it through, thank gods. But the ghast blew up the portal before I could get through. So now I'm here. Stuck in the nether with no tools, armor, or a way back home.

Day 2

I think it’s day two. But I can't be too sure about that. Either way, I'm just glad that i'm still alive. It’s lucky that I've watched a bunch of minecraft letsplays. I probably would have died long ago if I hadn't. Using what i've learned from those videos, i've managed to snag some loot from the bastion. I had a couple gold ingots, a golden sword, and a gold helmet. I've heard that if a player wears some kind of gold, they won't be attacked. So this will definitely come in handy if it doesnt break.

I'm not sure if this is true, but I think if I trade these gold ingots with the piglins enough, they’ll eventually give me obsidian blocks or iron ingots. That’ll surely help me get home. I just need three obsidian blocks and one iron ingot! Well, I also need some flint. But there’s gravel everywhere in the nether. So I think I'll be able to aquire that fast enough!

Day 3

I've been trading with piglins forever! I havent gotten anything useful! Well, that’s a lie. I got five iron nuggets, a few pieces of string, and some leather. I think I can make an iron ingot with the nuggets but i'm not fully sure.

Not only am I not getting useful items, I'm also starving. It’s been a long time since I last ate. But I don't remember what is and is not edible in this blocky underworld. I think Blue said that netherwart is good to eat. In all honestly, netherwart is the VERY LAST thing I even want to put in my mouth. But beggars can't be choosers at this point. It either I die here or I just eat the damn thing. Hopefully I don't die before finding a nether fortress. Cause that’s the only place those things can grow.

Day 4

Finding a nether fortress wasn't as hard as I thought it was. What was hard however was fending off all the hecking mobs. There were so many for absolutely no reason. I just barely got away with my life. My helmet and sword broke. So I guess that means no more trading with Piglins unless I really do want to die.

Besides that fact, I managed to find some netherwart. And GODS ABOVE this thing is NASTY. I don't know how blue could eat-no, CRAVE this thing EVERY SINLGE DAY. Sorry, that was a bit much. But there in no way i can keep eating this. I’ll actually die from poisoning if I keep eating this.

On another note, I wonder if my blossoms are looking for me. Or even trying to figure out a way to open the portal again. I can only pray at this point.

Day 5

I'VE MADE THE DISCOVERY OF A LIFETIME!!!!! The hoglin things, the very demonic boar things that fling you up in the air, those things. THEY DROP FOOD WHEN THEY DIE!!! I'M SAVED!!!!!

I can finally stop eating Blue’s drug fungus! Hallelujah! Maybe it was wrong of me to do this but i literally tossed all the netherwart I gathered into the lava… Blue wouldn't kill me for doing that. I hope.

Anyway!!! I have good food now! I’ll live just a little bit longer! All I need now are weapons! Then I can surely survive till I find a way home!

Day 6

Things are finally starting to look up! I found a piece of obsidian, two diamonds, and a few more gold ingots! My goal now is to find a warped forest biome and make a sword!

Oh yeah! I accidentally killed a piglin earlier as well. And it gave me a crossbow! I don't think i’ll be able to use it since i don't have any arrows but it might come in handy sooner or later. Arrows should exist in the nether i think. I mean, how else are Piglins supposed to use crossbows? Maybe I can check out another piglin chest thing. They always have treasures and loot in those things. So maybe there’ll be some arrows in there!

Do piglins trade arrows too? I can't remember. Maybe i can try trading again. I’ll just use the hole method so they don't attack me.

Day 7

I'm staring to get the hang on the nether now. It’s different from playing behind a screen but it is a lot more fun this way! Well, fun when I'm not being attacked by mobs and almost falling into lava and starving. But I am having fun either way! Maybe I should start playing again. And maybe I can play with my blossoms as well. Assuming they arent traumatized by being attacked.

Aside from that rant, I did manage to trade with the hoglins. I have more iron ingots and bars, a fire resistance potion, and I got a few arrows from their treasure areas as well. I take that as a win. I also found my way to a warped forest! Sadly, I'm kinda stuck in a tree at the moment. I accidentally shot an enderman trying to kill another hoglin. So it’s kinda just screeching at me on the floor. Do endermen eventually give up? Or am I gonna have to kill this dude first?

Ok so I killed him. And he gave me his eye. That was nice of him. Anyway, now that I have wood and sticks, i can finally make myself a diamond sword! More weapons! Maybe I could make myself a sheild but I never learned the recipe to that. Can I activate the recipe book in this form?

Ok so I can't, sadly. If this were the old version of minecraft, I wouldn't need to manually place the items in the box. I miss the old minecraft sometimes. But I must say, this new minecraft is quite entertaining.

Day 8

Ok now I'm bored. I feel like I've been all over the nether at this point. I also feel like i've done everything i can in the nether. I've traded with piglins, stole from bastions, ate netherwart, rode a strider, chopped down a warped tree, and killed a bunch of mobs. Is there anything else to do here other than, ya know, LIVE.

Ah whatever. Maybe I'll be stuck here forever. Future generations will know me as the lost player. I’ll become another minecraft creepypasta or legend. I leave this journal for the next player to read and dissect lore and stuffs. Lore is good. Lore is great. Lore is delicious.

I wonder if the others have held a funeral for me. That would be so funny actually. They hold this big extravagant funeral for me and I just suddenly appear again. They might actually kill me thinking I'm an imposter or maybe a ghost.

Either way. The nether is my home now. I guess I'll have to figure my future out here.

Day 9

The piglins have been agitated lately. I can't understand their language, but I know that theyre very upset about something. I wonder what it is. Maybe they're mad because I keep stealing their things and they don't know who’s taking their stuff. If that is the case, i am very sorry to them. But I need to live. I’d prefer not to die in the minecraft equivilent of hell. Maybe this is a sign. I'm being prepared to face the real underworld because that’s where I'll be going.

Either way, i'm not going to die here. I still have a lot to do with my life. Like take care of my garden, care for my blossoms, finish writing my story, and other things. If I listed them all here I think that would fill the rest of this book. And I can't do that cause then there will be no room for lore. Not only that, I might lose my mind if I don't write something. And we can't let the last bits of my sanity leave me now.

Day 10

Ok so this day has been absolutely CRAZY! Let me explain.

The day started like any other. I was hunting for Hoglins when I was suddenly attacked by a swarm of Piglins! I tried to fight my way out but there were too many of them. I had to take to the trees again. But the freaking Piglins weren’t following the game mechanics! They were like-not like the game! They were climbing on top of each other and trying to get to me. I panicked and started firing arrows at them. I wasted all ym arrows doing that. All I had left was my almost broken sword and a fishing rod.

Thankfully! I remembered how the CG used their fishing rods during our battle royale. So I pulled out the rod and started flinging the piglins off the nearby cliff. But then I accidentally brough a piglin onto the tree with me! It attacked me, knocking me off the tree and into the lava.

Obviously I'm not dead. And that’s cause I took the fire resistance potion! It still hurt falling into the lava, but i'm sure burning alive would hurt a lot more.. Besides that, being on fire with no harm was weird. Anyway, I swam my way out of the lava and sat on the bank. It’s hard moving in lava! It’s like I was in molasses. Well, once I caught my breath, I tried to make my way to my base. But then I was attacked by the piglins again! And I had nowhere to escape this time. I couldn't just hop back into the lava. And I didn't exactly have the resources to fend them all off.

I was quite literally saying my goodbyes in my head when the piglins suddenly started paying attention to something behind them. All of a sudden, the color gang bursted through the army of piglins! It was amazing!!! They were like, kicking ass! I can't beleive we faught them head on.The hollowhead kid came up to me and explained the situation.

Apparently, my blossoms were freaking out about me not making it through the portal. So they emailed themselves to Alan’s PC to ask the Color group for help. That’s good. At least they didn't abandon me.

Anyway, the Color group helped me get to their PC. I turned back into my stick form and was immediately attacked by my blossoms. They promised to never go back into minecraft ever again. Fair enough. But I know that Razz and Aster are the two who won't hold onto that promise.

Well, I'm finally home. After 10 days and 9 nights in Minecraft hell, I’m finally back home. I may not be playing minecraft for a while. But it knows that I'll be back in a few months.

[sansxfuckyou]

Ooze

Summary: Lives are like pictures, each stroke is important.

Warnings: Corruption, starvation, trauma, check tags for further warnings.

Authors Note: Turns out Undertale still has me in a chokehold, people who left notes on my every ship challenge fics, don't worry, I'll still work on those, once again, I take reblogs as a form of currency over likes.

Eons.

He's been trapped in this form for eons.

Unable to return cause nothing is left behind.

But at the same time able to keep pushing without anything holding you back.

He thrives where others suffer, he suffers where others thrive.

He's been flipped, once a guardian now a destroyer.

It's lonely.

So, so lonely.

But he has friends.

Teammates, they aren't his friends.

They're more like his children.

Broken and torn apart at the seam in the universe that treated them so fucking wrong. Maybe he only takes them in because he sees himself in their hollow eyes and blood stained outfits. Maybe he only treats them right because he wants to create something instead of destroy deep down.

When he found Error, Error found him, and at that, Error wasn't broken, didn't feel broken. But he was broken, broken beyond reason, he could barely speak decipherably when they was first met. The first week it was just the two of them, Error destroyed universes even when Nightmare said not to, it was reflex. They worked on that reflex day in and day out, trying to push past the trauma, trying to see that some things can stick around through destruction.

When he found Dust, Dust was wandering, walking so lightly the snow didn't crunch beneath his feet, and he was broken, somewhere underneath that cool guy facade was a crying past self. The following month it was three, Error still had a hard time speaking, but he was getting better, and Dust liked to talk to himself. They talked about that, Nightmare learning why and letting it happen, but still trying to unearth what could've caused it in his universe.

When he found Horror, Horror was starving, gnawing on something hopefully edible, he was skittish and broken. He lashed out and attacked whenever anyone got close to touching his skull, trauma point for sure. Eventually Nightmare had to confront him about it, but Horror rarely sat still without food promised, otherwise he was always afraid. They talked about it, the hole in his skull, the constant hunger, the fear, everything, they worked on it.

When he found Killer, Killer was sobbing, he wasn't though, a very similar ooze still escaped his eyes. He was hunched over a hotdog stand, completely still and when Nightmare got to close, a pounce. It took no less than a second for Killer to get thrown off, he ran, he couldn't escape though, tangled in tentacles. Words were squeezed from his lungs to explain and that he did while begging to be released from his grip.

It took Killer a week to realize he wouldn't be snuffed from existence under Nightmares gaze given the initial meeting. He still had to have that explained to him by Error, who could now be understood when he spoke, and Dust, who started to create a garden. And even after that he still was skittish around Nightmare up until they had a solo mission to reap more negativity.

At that moment Killer finally understood he was safe now, able to exist without a constant threat looming over him.

The four spent a year at least in that small group, their quadrant.

It was nice.

Error can control his destructive tendencies, Dust has a complete garden room, Horror can stop himself from fleeing and Killers just doing better in general.

And now, Nightmare has family again.

Something to live for, something to keep the balance for, even if it means tilting said balance in his favor. His original brother, not anymore though, has created his own team, his trio of defenders to fight against.

Defender of positivity, protecter of AUs and some weird third guy.

It doesn't matter though, Nightmares team always wins.

When Nightmare met Cross, Cross was distraught and alone in the void, Error was questioned later on why the AU was missing. Cross was broken, and he stayed broken for months, he still did his missions dutifully. He talked, he laughed, he even smiled occasionally, but their was still something underneath. Him and Nightmare talked, but it was a useless chat.

It took months of extreme, violent tension. Months of underlying hatred between the recruits. Months of having each others backs even though they didn't want to until they started to care about each other.

Cross and Killer started to spend nights drawing together. Killer and Error started to hang out together. Error started to teach Dust the simple intricacies of sewing. Dust started to help Horror out tending to his own garden and Horror started to cook with Cross for the rest of the team.

A broken family.

But a family that sticks together.

[zestyderg]

More info about the mer au because I feel like posting more word vomit.

-Different kinds of mers living together and communally raising young together is pretty common, but a lot of other mers do either live alone or with only the same kind of mer (whale/dolphin mer pods exist, as well as groups of seal mers, schools of smaller fish and shark mers, etc)

-Humans don't know that mers exist, mers however do know that humans exist, but prefer to just hang back and observe them. Baby mers are forbidden from interacting with humans, and only a handful of mers actually interact with them. Joe watches boats go by his turf sometimes. He isnt sure what to think of the humans, but he doesn't view them as food or a threat, just some weird beings that kind of look like mers. Zz... well he's sunk boats before (not with the intention to eat humans, he just bites the boats thinking they're edible and gets upset when they aren't).

-A lot of mers sing! Cetacean mers are capable of really melodic and beautiful songs, and are considered to be the best singers in the ocean. Fish mers aren't big singers, if they sing at all. Joe and ZZ do sing though! Their songs are mostly just bass, and you'll probably feel them more than hear them. Zz's singing isn't... all that great to listen too. It's deep, it's gravelly, and unnerving for most, except Dino. For some reason he just can't help but relax a bit even when he knows zz is a threat. On the other side, you have Joe's far more pleasant songs. He doesn't think his songs are all that great, but trust me he's selling himself short. Sure your bones are probably gonna feel weird when he sings, especially if you're close to him, but it's not that bad, and hey, it's a surefire way to get Dina to conk out quickly.

-Stella has to deal with so much shit. The orca trio are barely at the nursery and mostly either hang out with Joe or are off somewhere in deeper waters (where they are not supposed to be without supervision), the patrol team are the definition of leash kids and not only have they swam off multiple times, but THEY COULD HAVE BEEN EATEN BY ZZ, and TODD was the one to save them. The twins are very voracious (almost unnaturally so) for young octopus and moray eel mers, and they are just so WEIRD compared to the rest of the patrol team that when Stella isn't stressing over them she's confused as all hell. Terry and Kent try their best to help her, but even they feel overwhelmed. Those three really need a break.

-Rupert's dad was eaten by Zz (rare zz W)

-Zz has starry patterning in his mouth (joe does too, but zz's patterning is blue while Joe's is gold). When he's feeling particularly cruel he'll dim his bioluminescent hair so it doesn't glow, and just leave his mouth open so some unfortunate creature will swim inside, too distracted by the pretty lights to notice ZZ until it's too late.

-Both Joe and ZZ have territories that are more on the barren side, with only sparse corals dotting the sandy dunes of the ocean floor. Zz however leaves a lot of bones strewn about (some of which belong to other mers), while Joe has more animals that live in his turf.

-Joe has a nest of sorts in a secluded part of his territory, surrounded by jagged rocks. It's just an oversized nest scrape and he'll try to bury himself in sand when he sleeps. Zz just sleeps wherever.

-Joe always tries to be warm and welcoming to any mers he comes across. He isn't territorial like ZZ is, but most mers are afraid of him so he doesn't have many friends. Also probably a reason why he tolerates Zz as much as he does.

-The kids were not supposed to meet Joe yet (because they're not supposed to be away from the nursery) but since they have, Stella has spoken to him and he instantly agreed to be their fourth guardian of sorts, so if they ever swim out of the nursery again, he'll try his best to watch over them.

[loganofthenorth]

It feels like I'm in an abusive relationship with life

I always treat life with kindness and respect

I am always careful how I speak to and about the universe

I'm afraid it will hurt me just for underestimating its ability to do so

Life has me on the ground crying

I'm comfortable blankets and padded floors

So I can't complain

Life has me trapped in the loveliest room while a war goes on outside my windows

Life has coddled me and spoiled me and made sure my every need was provided for

And then threw me in the deep end and expected me to swim alone

I would leave it but I don't know how

And I don't know where else I'd go

Life gives me everything I've ever wanted

And then uses those things to hurt me

And takes them away if I slip up

Or if I'm too tired to meet the simplest demands

Life asks simple tasks of me

And I beat myself up when I can't do them

Life can twist any situation to make it my fault

I constantly work to be deserving of life and always feel like I'm failing

I defend life when other people talk bad about it

Life shows me the most beautiful things about itself

But occasionally shows me horrors and storms and things that hurt me

Life weighs me down with grief

And wears me down with storms

And tells me that I'm beautiful and strong for making it this far

But then asks me why I'm so broken and hurt

Life will bruise me and tell me I did that myself

Life will call me cruel and brutal and unfair

Life will call me stupid and brittle and clumsy

Life will call me kind and brave and wise

Life will call me strong and independent and mature

Life gives me disease

And makes me thank them for the cure

I must be grateful

For life gave me everything

I must be grateful

For life tucked me in after taking it all away

Life begs me to let it help me

I ignore it

I beg life to help me help it

It ignores me

Life touches my skin so tenderly

With cold hands and humid breath

Life holds me tightly

With fire blankets and dry skin

Life scars me

And nurses my wounds

Life tells me bed time stories with unhappy endings

Life turns off a shattered life

And tells me sweet dreams

And asks me why I'm having trouble sleeping

In the comfortable home and bed life provided me

"It's too cold, and I'm alone." I answer.

"Then step outside and make some friends." It tells me, gesturing to the barren wasteland outside my window.

I know war, plague, and monsters in disguise exist beyond it

I feel lazy for not leaving

I close my eyes and try to be grateful

Tomorrow is a new day

To watch others be suffer and be grateful

Even though doing simple things feels like drinking poison

Even if I'm constantly letting people down

Letting myself down

Hurting myself by breathing

By eating food barely edible

Screaming on the inside and being quiet out

Because I have nowhere else to go

Life is all I know

[neuroticdragon]

I'm so stressed out and overwhelmed that I've managed to corner myself into not doing anything at all. Everything feels pointless. I have been diligently spamming applications everywhere but it all feels so, utterly pointless. I'm hemorrhaging money, despite being on employment insurance, because they only pay half of my paycheque but half my paycheque no longer covers basic living expenses thanks to inflation and runaway interest rates.

We've ALREADY cut out so much. Take-out, most of our streaming services, monthly subscriptions. We've started eating cheaper meals. We don't go out. We've cut down on our snack consumption. We don't have a car. We barely spend any money at all yet the bills keep eating up whatever little savings I've managed to hang onto after last year. I've barely managed to save anything since we moved thanks to inflation and surprise bills that would randomly show up. So now that I'm earning nothing, my account has started hemorrhaging money. And it's one of those bullshit accounts that I need to keep at least $X just so they don't charge me $20 for being fucking poor.

I've ALWAYS managed to keep my account above that amount, even during these contract breaks, and I've always been very proud of that. But if I don't find a job soon, that won't be true anymore. And then I'll end up losing MORE money just because I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY???

I need to make a new commission sheet. I need to start finding SOMETHING to start making money just so I can fucking keep my accounts in the green. I need to earn an extra $600/month just to fucking LIVE. It all feels so utterly, fucking hopeless.

I need to earn a few extra hundred dollars PER WEEK on my next contract just to get up to where we were two years ago. Not even increasing my standard of living, literally just going back to living paycheque to paycheque instead of losing money just for existing in this fucking apartment and eating a $5 can of beans for the day.

I am trying so fucking hard to keep my chin up but they're saying new projects won't start until the spring at the EARLIEST. And I don't know if I'll be able to make it until then. But I also don't know what else I can get a job as that earns what I did at my last job.

I'm so fucking terrified. I've been breaking out into tears randomly. Spent the whole morning in bed instead of updating my portfolio and applying for jobs like I normally do but I just couldn't.

I don't want to go into credit card debt because I wanted to eat a fucking $5 sandwich that's now $7 because inflation won't stop. And it probably has fucking glass in it or some shit because they refuse to hire more people to make sure the food is actually fucking edible.

I don't know what to do. I'm so scared.