#and while the idea of being known is nice

[staargxzer]

𓂃　 ⁺ ₊ slow downˊ˗

⭒ synopsis ᵎ 〜 headcanons for dealer!ellie x good girl!reader in a college setting. enjoy ;) ⭒ content ᵎ 〜 mdni top!ellie, bottom!reader, fingering (r!receiving), strap-on (r!receiving), mention of weed, degradation, dacryphilia, mirror sex ⭒ word count ᵎ 〜 1.1k ⭒ notes ᵎ 〜 some short headcanons as an apology for being away

⁺  you’re the kind of girl who colour codes her notes and religiously says “thank you” to bus drivers. you would’ve never even dreamed of smoking weed, but here you were. texting a dealer, on your own, because your friend had convinced you that ellie’s weed would calm your nerves.  everyone who’s anyone knows ellie williams. strap god, weed extraordinaire, chaotic lesbian. the epithets pile up. but to you? ellie’s warm, charming, and a demon in bed (but everyone knew that, too).

⁺  ellie shows up to your dorm smelling like weed and oil, guitar case slung haphazardly over her bare shoulder and licking sugar off her thumb from the gas station rock candy she had bought on the way there. it was weirdly seductive. she knows you're innocent from the moment her murky half-lidded eyes met your own blown-out ones. the way you introduced yourself only reinforced her idea that you had definitely never done anything like this before: “hi… i’m __, i think i texted you?” as if she might say no. “yeah, sweetheart, y’did. you usually this nervous?”

⁺  when you tell her you’ve never smoked before, she goes soft. not sweet, by any means, but interested. next thing you know she’s rolling up a new joint with the weed she brought and making you take the first hit, coaching you through every movement. “don’t hold it too long. there you go, nice n slow. i got you, baby” then, “you ever kiss someone?” she’s asking while leaning into you, barely giving you time to even process her question before her lips are moving against yours with a fervor that could scare the gods.

⁺  after that, you’re all she thinks about. not the girls who beg her to eat them out at frat parties. you, with your pink lipgloss and apologies and virginity she wants to destroy.

⁺  ellie talks you into coming over to hangout for a “smoke sesh”. promising a genuinely chill night and bribing you with the opportunity to see her play her guitar (something nobody’s ever gotten to see). the chill doesn’t last long. it’s not ellie’s fault, really. who could keep their hands off of you when you’re smiling so pretty and your eyes are falling closed after only two hits? she’s touching you slow, her hand building up your thigh and ghosting over the heat radiating from your cunt. “anyone ever touch ya here?” you shake your head and she’s suddenly grinning like a devil. “want me to be your first?” you nod this time, and her smile grows impossibly wider. you don’t even realize your rocking into her hand until you hear her chuckling into your ear, breath hot on your neck, “i’ll take care of you, baby.”

⁺  she goes so slow. kissing down your stomach and latching onto your thighs. she pulls your panties down with her teeth, just to be able to see the blush grow across your cheeks.

⁺  she eats you out like she has all night. you’ve never been touched like this before, and every whimper and squirm only fuels ellie’s fire more. her eyes are gazing up at you when she slips her finger in for the first time. she relishes in the feeling of your core, the way you squeeze around her whenever she hits just the right spot and the sound of your gasps when her tongue brushes against your puffy clit.

⁺  ellie was known for hitting and dipping, but for some reason she just couldn’t shake you. maybe it was the way her hands carved into your hips so perfectly, or the way your whimpers sounded so sweet in her ear when she was plunging her fingers knuckle-deep into your sopping cunt. whatever it was, ellie knew she couldn’t let you go. you’re her favourite thing to ruin.

⁺  she won’t stop texting you. ‘you up?’ ‘wanna come over and let me make you cry again?’ ‘miss your thighs around my head’ once she knows what she wants, she’ll do anything to get it. you’re officially ruined for anyone else. you walk through the campus glowing, thighs sore, deep-purple marks hidden beneath your classy turtleneck. no one suspects that the quiet good girl with a pastel tote bag gets fucked into the stratosphere three times a week by ellie fucking williams.

⁺  she starts bringing her guitar when you two meet. she plays songs that no one’s heard before, ones that are clearly about you. she’ll sing to you in between rounds, with your head in her lap and your panties somewhere across the room.

⁺  ellie gets territorial. your hers, and everyone needs to know that. she makes you sit on her lap everywhere, hand always on your waist and a nasty glare directed at the frat boys who try to talk to you. she loves to mark you up, leaving hickeys all over you. especially in places only she’s allowed to see. she’ll lend you her clothes and beg you to wear them into class. you do, one day, draped in her oversized red flannel. everyone recognizes it and the whispers are insufferable. ellie loves it. “ya look good in my clothes, baby. gonna look better out of ‘em later.”

⁺  she is most definitely a service top with a bit of a domination kink. she loves to corrupt you, have you falling apart on her strap and making you say filthy things. “c’mon, sweetheart. you gotta use your words or i can’t touch you.” she makes you beg, and once you do (breathy and soft, hands covering your reddening face) a huge grin takes over her entire face and she fucks you harder than ever.

⁺  ellie is skilled with her strap, there’s no arguing about that, but she for sure prefers to watch you come undone on her fingers. something about feeling you clench and gush around her knuckles just gets to her.

⁺  she’s a mirror sex fanatic. everything about it makes her crazy for you. holding your chin up between her pointer and her thumb, forcing you to watch the tears stream down your face as she pounds you from behind. “you’re so fucking pretty when you cry f’r me, y’know that?”

⁺  she definitely likes to delve into degradation every once in a while, particularly after she’s dealt with a rude customer. “look at you, dick drunk already huh? act like such a good girl at school and then take me like this? fuck.”

⁺  and, after putting you through the filthiest sex you could imagine, ellie wraps you right up in one of her clean hoodies and tucks you against her chest. “did so good, baby. so perfect, all f’r me.” she’s soft when it counts, rough when it turns you on.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

i do so desperately want to read properly but like. my skill level has stagnated and i just do not understand what adult fiction is saying. And when i try YA it feels weird seeing middle schoolers learn about the power of friendship or teen romance drama or whatever. how do I get over this roadblock. I feel like the stupid ulysses ogre except im struggling to put together themes in books made for tweens while not even enjoying myself.

I mean I think the most crucial thing here is being nicer to yourself about what you consider to count as reading "properly," and also to recognize that "adult fiction" is not a monolith

like, what adult fiction are you reading? litfic by people with MFAs? graphic novels? charmingly formulaic romances? the scary evil DARK romances that are allegedly ruining the publishing industry? 600 page fantasy doorstoppers loaded with politics and made up names? charmingly formulaic mysteries? fast-paced thrillers? self-published furry erotica with plot? cozy science fiction? all of that can fall under the heading of adult fiction, and it's barely scratching the surface!

the world is your oyster, so find the stuff that clicks with you and pursue that; it will feel more worth it if you're actually enjoying yourself. there's absolutely zero reason to put yourself through the strain of reading something "smart" if you aren't enjoying it, and anyone who has something snooty to say about somebody reading for fun is, to put it lightly, an asshole.

it may also help to focus on fiction that's really short or really unsubtle, or both. again, contemporary romance novels are seldom shy about telling you up front what the themes are, and that's not a dig—I love romance novels! and shorter reads, like novellas or short stories, may also be interesting, since they generally need to be a bit more compact in getting the idea across.

have you heard of the Murderbot Diaries? I haven't read them but man, people love those. some other books that spring to mind when it comes to keeping it simple: Portrait of a Thief by Grace D. Li, A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers, Kaikeyi by Vishnavi Patel, and virtually anything by Silvia Moreno Garcia, who writes across a wide variety of genres.

I'd also like to offer the radical suggestion that you don't need to 100% totally understand everything that happens in a book to enjoy it. like, yes, it's nice to understand what's going on, but it's totally chill if you spend some of it just floating along enjoying the story and waiting to see what will happen next. I'm currently reading Toni Morrison's Beloved, and while the prose is brilliant, I'm also struggling to keep track of everything going on! I'm doing a lot of doubling back and rereading to make sure I'm keeping up with events, and even then I'll still miss things and be uncertain of my understanding until something later in the book can offer confirmation. and that's fine! there are tons of books I've loved to pieces while also struggling to understand everything being shown to me: NK Jemisin's Broke Earth series, Stephen Graham Jones' My Heart is a Chainsaw, Alison Rumfitt's Tell Me I'm Worthless, Tamsyn Muir's Harrow the Ninth and Gideon the Ninth. in many cases, rereads are helpful here! and also awesome!

also, hey, if you're struggling to make sense of something, great news: other people also read those books! options will vary depending on how well-known the book is, but generally someone else will have taken a crack at explaining it. google "[book name] synopsis" or "[book name] review" and you could get anything from a sparknotes to a wiki synopsis to a professional book review to an amateur book review to a youtube channel breaking it down in excruciating detail. and you don't have to take their analyses at face value, either—you're ALSO practicing media literary when you ask yourself "do I agree with this review? why or why not? why might this reviewer have arrived at such a different conclusion than me? what could have influenced their opinion? how does this fit, or not fit, with my understanding of this book?"

just have fun and be yourself dude you'll be fine out there xoxo

[wordpress-blaze-223640688]

The True Meaning of Judgment: What Jesus Actually Taught

Far too often, there’s confusion around what Jesus truly meant when He taught not to judge others. To understand His message, it’s essential to distinguish between types of judgment—not all are equal, and not all are condemned.

There are judgments that are necessary, objective, and morally neutral—what we might call discernment or truth-based observation. These are made in order to accurately describe a situation or a person’s actions in light of evident facts. For instance, if someone openly embraces hateful ideologies—say, living in a home filled with Nazi paraphernalia and promoting hostility toward Jews or African Americans—it is not “judgmental” in the Christian sense to call that person racist. That is an objective assessment grounded in observable truth, not a personal condemnation born of malice. A just society relies on such clarity to function.

However, Jesus’ teachings go deeper than simply warning against calling wrong “wrong.” What He truly condemns is judgment as condescension towards anyone suffering—the kind that dehumanizes or dismisses someone for their actions, regardless of the suffering or desperation that may have motivated them. This is the critical distinction.

For example, a person who steals food to survive, or lies to secure shelter or safety, may be breaking social or legal codes—but their actions are driven by basic survival, not evil intent. To punish such a person instead of helping them is not justice; it is cruelty. Jesus’ message is a call to empathetic discernment—to look beyond the act and understand the human story behind it.

We must resist the urge to judge people harshly when their wrongdoing stems from deep need or suffering. Their actions should be seen not as an opportunity to condemn, but as an invitation to extend help and healing. In contrast, choosing punishment over compassion, especially within a broken system such as the prison industrial complex, only perpetuates cycles of suffering.

In short, you are not violating Jesus’ teaching by objectively identifying hate, racism, or injustice when it's clearly present. But you are judging in the way Jesus warned against when you write off the struggling, the poor, or the desperate—those who may behave in ways you don’t approve of simply because they are trying to survive.

To refrain from that kind of judgment is to walk in the shoes of another, to understand their pain, and to reflect Christ’s own compassion. When you choose mercy over condemnation, you’re aligning yourself with the heart of Jesus’ message: love over law, empathy over exclusion, healing over punishment.

If there’s a silver lining to judging others in casual and social conversations, it’s that it offers a rare glimpse into yourself—a mirror revealing what you may be unconsciously projecting. We constantly perceive ourselves in others. When you find yourself labeling someone as insensitive, inconsiderate, or selfish, those are not just criticisms of another person—they're prompts for self-reflection. More often than not, the very traits we condemn are reflections of unresolved parts of our own character.

This is where the deeper wisdom of Jesus' teachings comes into play. When you judge someone, pause and ask yourself: Is this a quality I, too, possess? If the answer is yes, then the next step is not further condemnation—but forgiveness. Forgive the other person for what you accused them of, not because they were innocent, but because they became a mirror to help you recognize something within yourself. This is the essence of Jesus’ prayer: “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

In everyday conversation, this self-projection is often casually acknowledged through phrases like “you’re projecting,” “look in the mirror,” or “pot calling the kettle black.” These statements, while sometimes said mockingly, are actually spiritual cues—flags from the universe urging you to engage in honest introspection. Instead of reacting defensively (as the ego tends to do), try receiving such moments with humility. They may be revealing truths about yourself that you've yet to fully face.

If, during an argument, you call someone selfish and later realize you were acting selfishly too, don’t linger in guilt. Forgive them, ask your Heavenly Father to forgive you, and move toward reconciliation. Extend grace: a kind word, a high five, a hug—something to restore peace and harmony.

Interestingly, the original translation of the Lord’s Prayer uses the word “debts” rather than “trespasses.” This suggests a transactional mindset—as if others "owe" us for their offenses. But the spiritual invitation here is to release all those perceived debts. No one owes you anything. Let it go. And ask your Father to forgive your debts, as you have forgiven theirs.

This process is sacred: recognizing projection, extending forgiveness, and asking the Holy Spirit for help to overcome the very faults you've identified in others. When you do this sincerely, the universe—aligned with divine will—begins to rearrange itself in support of your transformation. That is the quiet power of grace at work within you.

In Summary,

Many Christians misunderstand what Jesus meant when he spoke against judgment. Simply making an accurate, objective, or descriptive statement about someone is not what Jesus condemned. For instance, identifying someone as a racist based on their actions is not inherently judgmental in the way Jesus warned against. However, labeling someone as "annoying," "useless," "lazy," or hurling insults like “a-hole” are examples of the kind of condemnation Jesus cautioned his followers to avoid. These are not neutral observations—they are judgments on a person’s worth or character, often rooted in ego, contempt, or malice.

The problem lies not just in the act of making a judgment, but in the spirit behind it. Words like “judgment” have drifted in meaning over time, and this linguistic shift has led to confusion about the original teachings. In true Christianity, saying someone is a thief after they’ve been caught stealing is a factual statement. But accusing people who receive public assistance of being “leeches” or “crooks” is a moral condemnation—a projection of superiority, which is exactly the kind of judgment Jesus opposed.

Even calling someone a “sweetheart” while technically being a judgment—it is a statement about character—but one offered in love. Thus, it is not judgment alone that is discouraged, but the tone, intent, and spirit in which such judgments are made. Jesus did not forbid discernment, but he did forbid condemnation.

This is especially relevant when discussing marginalized communities. The judgment and rejection of the gay community by many who claim to follow Christ is a public and persistent betrayal of his core teaching: “Judge not, lest ye be judged.” To declare someone evil, broken, or wrong simply for who they are is to step into the very role Jesus warned against—usurping the authority of God and dispensing condemnation in His name.

Using Scripture to justify hatred, exclusion, or violence is not only a misuse of the text—it is a rejection of the Spirit of God, who is love. Jesus never taught hatred. He never endorsed anger or violence. His way was mercy, compassion, and radical love. Homophobia and other forms of bigotry are not born of righteousness—they are byproducts of fear and ignorance.

Those we consider “different” or “abnormal” are not tests of our theology—they are tests of our love. They reveal whether we truly follow Jesus or merely use his name. To follow Christ is to bless, not curse; to love, not condemn. Any other path is a denial of the very heart of his message.

Source: The True Meaning of Judgment: What Jesus Actually Taught

[girlfriendoftheyear2024]

the line between the republican and democratic parties was literally drawn along pre and post millennialism (i.e respectively: do u believe that Jesus hasn't come back yet, the day of reckoning is upon us, and we should all be scared and start locking into the Bible NOW or do u believe that Jesus already came back, we are in the good place, and now we can just work on improving the world). in early America (like even before independence I think) there was soooo much beef between pre millennial calvinists and post millennial protestants because calvinists believed in a wrathful god and that would preemptively select a few people to go to heaven while punishing the rest, so you might as well stay holy in case you were predestined, and to avoid further punishment if you weren't. meanwhile postmillenialism (which was associated with protestantism) was getting popular so fast because they were like "what if god is actually nice and instead of predestination he judges us based on our actions?" Then after independence the world was tapping into this hot new trend called "economic policy" and the girls were fightingggggg. the premillenialists (who later became known more broadly as evangelicals) thought that because judgement day was yet to happen, the best thing to do for those who are struggling was to introduce them to Christ (kind of like the whole "teach a man to fish" parable). meanwhile (most?) postmillennialists were super into welfare policy because they saw helping the less fortunate as a godlike and loving thing to do. so the premillennialists thought welfare was reinforcing the root issue of poor people not Locking Into God while postmillennialists thought welfare was almost a religious duty. as our economic climate developed and we saw the growth of the upper class, they obvi saw how reducing welfare could benefit them and started lobbying, and it was super easy to appeal to premillennialists who were already fundamentally opposed to policies that could hurt the upper class. this led to an association between premillennialism and political conservatism that (imo) has only gotten stronger over time. the idea of "trickle down economics" is so deeply rooted in the Republican Party because it checks all the boxes: the rich can keep making money, and any opposition can be addressed through a religious angle. even tho TDE has never worked anywhere in practice it is still hyped up here because these values are so deeply rooted in the American psyche. the arguments made against welfare today still depend on the idea of being "self-made" and hardworking which mirrors old premillennialist values.

so evangelicalism in america is actually fundamentally based in others' perceptions because the belief in a vengeful god, the fear of the day of judgement, and the idea of predestination leave practitioners with little control over their religious fate, outside of how their piousness is interpreted by others. even if you have no way of improving your chances of going to heaven, you might as well lead everyone else to think that you are one of the chosen few. the difference though is that arguments made for policies that adhere to these root values can only be justified through a premillennial interpretation of the Bible, while a postmillennial interpretation that would support more expansive social policy can also be supported with widely accepted moral codes (e.g. "giving to the needy is good")

honest props to evangelicals pivoting towards "you will feel morally superior to those around you, you will have the aesthetics of someone who has it together" instead of "you should act morally correct" they definitely read america as an audience with that one

[zablife]

Could I make a request for some sexting between Harry and Zara? Maybe her sending a nude while he's in a meeting and has to keep a straight face but can't help himself from replying? 👀 Thank you!!!!

YES, I love this idea bc it's so Zara coded to disrupt Harry's day with some flirtatious teasing anytime she's feeling needy. I hope you enjoy!

Harry Da Souza x OC Zara Harrigan

Harry and the Brat Masterlist

Harry shifted uncomfortably in his seat as his phone vibrated against his thigh for the third time in fifteen minutes. Each disturbance pulled his mind further from the business being discussed, making it increasingly difficult to concentrate. 

He was grateful when the phone on Conrad’s desk rang, giving him a moment to check his phone. It was confirmation of what he already guessed, Zara was feeling mischievous.

In a meeting with Conrad, he tapped in reply, hoping that brief warning would suffice. He should have known the danger of discovery would excite her more. 

But I’m lonely, came her reply, along with a selfie from the balcony upstairs.

Fuck...he hadn't realized she would be in the Cotswolds today! Testing my patience, Harry attempted to scold her despite the growing tightness in his trousers. We’re not supposed to do this, he added, eyeing Conrad’s back nervously.

Since when has that ever stopped us?

Harry could clearly picture her smug grin as she sent the message, knowing exactly what effect she was having on him.

You’re infuriating

And you’re turned on, she answered confidently, a giggle escaping her lips as she pictured his tented trousers.

Conrad was still engrossed in the directions he was giving Paul, giving Harry a few extra minutes to diffuse the situation. Thought I told you we have to keep this quiet.

Says the man who was moaning my name last night <3

Without warning his brain turned on him, envisioning her pert ass bouncing back on his cock as he praised her. He could still feel the way her greedy cunt clutched him. He coughed sharply in a vain attempt to push away the pleasurable memory and keep himself from becoming fully erect in the most inconvenient of places.

You’re dangerous, he typed back, the surge of adrenaline still shooting down his spine as he watched the blue dots dance beneath his thumb.

Only if you ask nicely

There won’t be anything nice about the way I ruin you later

Sooner please, she shot back.

So fucking needy, I bet you’re already soaking, he typed, attempting to hide the grin that had crept up on him.

So wet, she confirmed and the brief reply told him she had likely started without him. As his thoughts turned to Zara writhing on the bed, two fingers sunk into her plush cunt, the phone slammed down across from him putting an end to his filthy daydream.

“I have to go,” Conrad announced, too preoccupied with the problems at the docks to notice the way Harry’s neck flushed with heat. “Why I bother explaining anything to that gobeshite, Paul…” he murmured angrily as he stormed out of the office.

Harry waited for the sound of the front door slamming before reaching for his buzzing phone. 

I see my plan worked, came Zara’s text as the loud rumble of an engine echoed in the drive.

Harry chuckled at the lengths she would go to to have her own way. Without bothering to ask how she conned Paul, Harry tapped out one last warning for his impatient lover, Going to have you against the wall in 5 sec.

[sodapopkiss6]

Dom MC/Sub Sylus+pet play+dumbification

Sit with me and hear me out

Okay so I was thinking about you slowly realizing how much Sylus likes the idea of being owned, of you owning him. And little by little you nurture that side of him until he reaches a subspace where he is nothing more than a dumb horny dragon that's eager for his owners touch.

His submissive side is already established and known in the relationship, but you take it a step further. Exploring the side of him that wants to give up control, to be nothing more than a good dragon for you.

You combine praise and degradation when pointing out his habits as a dragon. The small blush painting his ears a sign of enjoyment, encouraging you to keep going. You know Sylus wouldn't admit it out loud yet, but he always makes sure to give you signs of approval through his body language.

After the first time the two of you try it (im thinking it's sudden, unexpected, but you try to work it out), the two of you have a discussion about it, setting boundaries, safe word and everything. Sylus is a bit reluctant at first, but then opens up. From there the two of you work on it and explore.

I think there would be a very clear line between when and when not to engage in that sort of scene though. I feel like it would be more of a bedroom only kind of scenario.

I also think it's not too often that you do it, while Sylus is submissive, it's hard to reach that level of subspace. I think it's something that you notice he silently asks for when he's extra stressed or tired.

Possible scene:

Misuse of a high heel btw, you fuck him w it so yeah warning for that

You sit at the edge of the bed, fiddling with a leash that is attached to Sylus. He's naked on his knees on the floor, face and chest flushed, eyes dazed as if in a trance. His lips form a small pout when you deny him again a taste of you.

"No Sy, only good dragons get to taste their master and you were anything but one today" you chastise.

"I'm sor-"

You tug his leash.

"Pets don't talk"

He whimpers, resting his cheek on your thigh, looking up at you pleading. You laugh cruelly, "Aww poor thing, so desperate for anything, are you that much of a slut for your master?"

Shamelessly he nods, too far gone to feel any embarrassment.

"Too bad, you're not getting a reward today"

Sylus has to stop himself from begging, instead whining and looking at you. Hoping you'd change your mind and allow him to have a taste.

"Maybe next time you'll think twice before misbehaving in public again" you raise your foot, the tip of your high heel teasing his pelvis.

He shivers at the touch and your eyes squint "perhaps I've spoiled you too much, you've forgotten your place"

Sylus shakes his head, looking up at you. You gently cup his cheek, making him nuzzle into your touch.

Suddenly you grip his chin and force him to look up.

"Pathetic"

He whimpers.

"You really are nothing more than a dumb slut eager for attention, is that why you were threatening my coworker earlier? What, did you think he was gonna take your place? That I was gonna abandon you?"

Slowly, he nods, making you grin.

"How cute, don't worry, I won't abandon you" you move your high heel down, rubbing the tip of his cock which has been hard and leaking for hours.

"I mean how could I when I've already ruined you for anyone else?" You pull your high heel down on his length before moving it away, seeing how it bounces back up, smacking his lower abdomen.

He moans softly at the sensation, then looks up to you, silently asking for more.

Feeling nice you cross your legs, wiggling the one that's raised, "Here, that should be enough for my needy pet right?"

Sylus instantly nods, grateful for your kindness. You tug on his leash, quickly, he moves his legs on the sides of yours, his hard length pressing down on your foot. The high heel makes your foot curve nicely, just the right angle for him. His precum drips on to your foot, making his dick slide with ease.

He whimpers, you can feel him throbbing and twitching, aching for release.

"Is this what you wanted silly dragon?"

He moans and nods, humping you faster. His mind unable to form a single thought, everything was fuzzy he can only think about how amazing your touch feels.

"So eager, is cumming all you can think about?" You slide your foot further back, the tip of your high heel poking his lubed hole, "though I doubt you can cum without me touching here"

Your high heel gently rubs circles around the rim of his hole, waiting for a yes or no.

"But, maybe you could if you go faster" you say, giving him an out.

Sylus breathes, trying to clear his mind just enough to decide.

The idea of you humiliating him like that, treating him like he doesn't deserve you, like he doesn't deserve more, is surprisingly hot to him.

Making up his mind, Sylus spreads his legs more and sinks down a little, gasping at the feeling.

You hide your disbelief by laughing "You really are nothing more than a needy pet huh? Eager to take anything just to cum. I bet you rub yourself against the door while waiting for me to come home"

Sylus whimpers and shakes his head, but you don't miss the way his hips twitch. You keep your foot still, allowing him to set the pace, you don't want to risk hurting him.

"Go on then, be a good pet and finish already, I have more important things to do"

He tries his best to do as you say, but it's not enough, he whines, eyes tearing up and begging to you. It's overwhelming, but he wants more, he wants you to reduce him to a personal whore, your personal whore.

"Spoiled dragon" you sigh and throw the leash aside "alright, turn around and get on all fours"

When he does you laugh mockingly "so quick, do dragons not have any dignity?" Your heel slowly pushes in making Sylus gasp and moan. His hands clenching against the floor.

"Well maybe most do, but you certainly don't. I do wonder my sweet dragon, have you always been like this? It must've been really hard to hide it"

Your foot rocks back and forth, sliding through his loosened hole.

"My poor pet, bet it was hard to be without an owner for so long. Having to play the part of the big bad leader of onychinus, when really all you wanted was a master that could tame you and keep you in place"

Sylus nods and whimpers. He wishes he could speak, to agree with you. But like a good pet he stays quiet.

"Stupid dragon, all it can think about is getting ruined by its owner. Who would've thought that underneath all your tuff facade you are nothing more than a dumb slut"

His breath hitches and his body tenses, you can tell he is close. You double in on your efforts, one goal in mind.

"That's it, cum, I know you want to. Be a good dragon and show your owner how good she makes you feel"

The combination of your heel fucking him, and your words that make his mind spin with arousal, is enough to tip him over the edge. With a loud moan his body shakes, arms giving out making his front half slump against the floor.

You slowly pull your foot away, taking in the sight. His legs are spread and keeping his lower half up. Presenting his submission to you, and showing what a good pet he is for you.

You look down at the puddle forming under him, satisfied. Having being edged for hours, his realease hit him hard. Now it is time for the next part, the most important.

You take off your heels and toss them aside, moving to the floor next to him. Gently rubbing his back while he gasps for air.

"You did so well for me Sy, my precious boy" you move your arms around him for support as you guide him to the bed. Removing the collar as you do so.

He lays boneless on the bed, eyes dazed from pleasure, lost in his subspace. You carefully bring him back. Whispering praises and giving him soft touches and kisses. You're patient, taking notice of every little movement. You know it may take a while for him to be verbal. While you wait you give him all the love and attention he unconsciously needs.

You hum a simple song, just the way he likes, and pat his head.

"Take your time Sy, I'll be right here"

Smth like that idk I've never written anything like this before, js wanted to put my idea down somewhere. I'd prolly have to investigate before I write any more about this cause ngl this is not my area of expertise.

[dailydemonspotlight]

Ahriman - Day 182

Race: Tyrant Arcana: Tower Alignment: Dark-Chaos June 10th, 2025

...Look, I didn't say it had to be good gay rep, okay?

Finally, I'm talking about a boogeyman I've been avoiding for quite a while. Zoroastrianism is one of the most interesting rabbit holes of a religion out there, with several different ideas working together to create a massive, winding narrative. Being one of the oldest religions in the world, its tales are many and storied, and most of them originate from one man: the Iranian prophet Zarathushtra, better known as Zoroaster. Interestingly, Zoroastrianism can be seen as the source of many of the most prolific religions in the world today, such as Islam and Christianity, as it's essentially the ur-Abrahamic faith. It could even be seen as the first ever popular attempt at a monotheistic religion! However, just because the practitioners of this faith worship one god doesn't mean that there aren't more- in fact, the gods of the old Iranian religion were merged to become aspects of Ahura Mazda, the primary god of the religion; all except for one. Today's Demon of the Day, and the primary evil of Zoroastrian faith: Ahriman.

In Zoroastrianism, there are two sides: Good and evil, locked in an eternal struggle where good is destined to triumph. The good side is headed by Ahura Mazda, whose omnipotence is restrained only by this struggle, and with enough help, he can overcome his shackles to defeat evil... eventually. Meanwhile, his eternal rival is Ahriman, whose original name (Angra Mainyu) literally translates to evil spirit. I'm sure you can guess what he does. Ahriman is the source of all negativity, conflict, confusion, and controls all demons by his own will.

Now, why is he being spotlighted during pride month? Well, past the, uh... pridemon shirt (which I love and want really bad), Ahriman stands as representing evil, and it's not hard to see that one of the oldest religions in the world could represent homosexuality as being evil. As such, on top of being pure evil in every sense, Ahriman also became the patron of homosexuality. I am not kidding. He essentially sponsored gay sex, and in a story that I can't find for the life of me but desperately want to find, outlined in the book 'Men, Homosexuality, and the Gods' by Ronald E. Long, he... okay, bare with me for a second, I'm just gonna copy and paste off the Wikipedia article on LGBT themes in mythology because I think it's really fucking funny.

When Ahriman, the "Spirit of Aridity and Death" and "Lord of Lies", seeks to destroy the world, he engages in self-sodomy. This homosexual self-intercourse causes an "explosion of evil power" and results in the birth of a host of evil minions and demons.

He self-fucks and causes an evil explosion that spawns a ton of demons. Or maybe he masturbates? I don't know man lmao

So, yeah! If you're a homosexual man who's capable of doing that, tell me if you're capable of summoning minions to do your will if you do, okay?

Now, in SMT, Ahriman takes on a variety of forms- the one I personally most associate with him is his Reason form as one of the final bosses of SMT Nocturne, but he's also got a really fantastic design in Dx2, of all games.

Both of them capture the lord of evil thing well, and I love how they both share common traits in having horns and bug wings; it's a really nice connecting thread through both designs.

even still, i can't get over the burst of evil energy. god imagine jerking off and when you finish you give off such a malicious energy that demons follow you thats so fucking funny

[hustling-starley]

As Ame undoes her bow and blouse, Harley smiles at the idea of finally having all of her favorite people coming together. She's always hoped she could have something special, the love that Sage and Maddie shared. The love Yuki had known, once.

The real, true kind. In all its bumps and imperfect bruises, the occasional speedbumps or even disagreements that might happen, maybe they'd even get into spats.

But, so did her Mama and Baba, and yet they'd always come back to each other. Her Mama would call out an "Edmushka~!", and his "yaaaaah?" would be like a moose's mating call. Playing cards, her Mama always winning against him. Her father taking it on the chin and buying dinner for all three of them.

Imagining a life like that with Ame... fills her heart with warmth, determined to show her that life—that reality, was not always this cruel prison that she had known.

"Of course! Plus, they can become your friends too, y'know? It'll be good to have more people you can rely on, in case I can't be there. Not that I wouldn't wanna, but... y'know, just in case the Boss gets on my ass, or Grayson needs attention."

Once Ame begins to recall her own childhood memories, though... her face falls. Her heart soon joins it, as it sinks from its cage, crashing through the floors of the building, and shattering against the concrete.

She's quiet, taking in Ame's every word, processing the onslaught of information. Information that, quite frankly, is a lot for anyone to hear about— let alone experience firsthand.

Verbal comfort was never her strong suit, she never liked the idea of giving false hope. If anything, she'll always respect someone who's honest, even if terrible, over a liar who's convinced themself that they were flawless from the start.

And yet, she doesn't want to leave Ame in the dark, like everyone else in her life has. She wants Ame to truly believe in her, in what she says and does. She wants to be good, for Ame. Even if she hardly knows how, that's not going to stop her from giving it her all.

But more than that... I want to share a better life with Ame, one that she should've had. One that we both want.

Running her fingers through Ame's hair, her movement is slow and soothing. Both for herself, and her girlfriend, as she tries to swallow away any fear of saying the wrong thing.

"I... I won't pretend like I understand everything, but," she gulps, cupping Ame's cheeks. Sorting through her words with caution, her focus centered completely on Ame. "I... was hurt kind of like that, even before Mama and Baba... I realized early on that I liked girls, and I hated that they'd always give more time and attention to the boys, than on me. If it wasn't my temper or teasing that drove them away, it was because of how clingy I was. Like I was always scared everyone would leave me behind, and... hate me."

She takes Ame's hands in her own. "And the only real thing I had... was with a woman who graduated college, while I was still a junior in high school. Led me on, saying all these nice things, getting touchy with me, but... she never liked taking no for an answer. Even if I didn't want to, or I was busy, or drunk. If Sage wasn't there, when she attacked me, I would've-"

She bites her lip, taking a deep breath while she lets the implication hang in the air.

"Point is, I know what it's like, to feel used and betrayed. To hate the world- to hate life for being so unfair. Even now, I feel that way a lot. But..."

She presses her forehead against Ame's, gentle in her motion. Hoping, praying to whatever higher entity might exist, that she could convey her feelings well. Give Ame that same light at the end of the tunnel, hell, even become that light.

For that smile, that laugh, the softness in her voice and the fondness in her eyes. The love of her life, the one she hopes her parents are proud of, the girl who saw her heart and cradled it with more care than any other she's fallen for.

"Even though you've been through so much hell... you're still here, aren't you? You're still Ame. If I'm a Hercules beetle... you're a Painted Lady butterfly, cause you can survive no matter what. Ame has a big heart, even with how much she's been hurting. Hearing all of this makes me feel like the luckiest girl alive, to have felt it. To be with you, like this."

"I know it gets hard, and it feels pointless sometimes, but... don't ever give up on finding happiness, okay? Not just for me, or even P-chan, but for Ame herself." She presses a tender kiss to Ame's nose, wrapping her legs around her beloved's waist, to keep her close. "Cause even if you can't see it now... I think Ame is really great, as a person and as a girlfriend. My girlfriend, just as I'm hers."

At Ame's comment, she snorts, slipping off her shoes.

"Oh, you bet I do! Her Rainy Majesty simply must have her guts reorganized in the shape that suits her best- a heart as pure as gold!" She laughs at her own bit, taking off the King K. Rool outfit and folding it up to rest next to the Kirby on the couch.

She stretches, letting out a whine before she climbs onto the bed, laying down to rest for a bit. Clad in only her bra, panties, and socks, she sighs as she looks up at the ceiling.

"Gosh, what a day. Honestly, this love hotel is a first for me, too," she remarks, remembering some of the research she'd done before moving to Japan. "I always thought the idea of it was kinda funny. It's like a regular hotel, except people mainly go there to fuck their partner all night, or even book it for a few days for a romantic vacation."

She shifts to lay on her side, looking up at Ame.

"But... I think I get it, now. I mean, whenever I went to hotels, back in America, it was always with my family or my friends after we'd saved up for it. Split the bills between us, buy swimsuits and travel bags in advance, make a list of everything we wanna try and then get into teams to tell each other about it."

She recalls this with a more sentimental smile, tracing patterns into the blanket with her finger while she mentally travels down memory lane.

"Maddie and Sage would always stick together, I'd have a girl on my mind, and Yuki would be our fifth wheel babysitter." She chuckles. "Man... I really gotta get those two to come over for a few days again. The flight's expensive, but I really want them to meet you proper, in person."

A pang in her heart surfaces, echoing through her chest. While she had always wanted to move to a new place in the hopes of having a fresh start as a young adult, with Japan among a list of different options that would have her close to someone dear, it soon morphed into the hope of putting the past behind her.

Move on, a vow to not let her life be controlled by pain anynore. Growing up, in a similar way to the day she'd said goodbye to her childhood home, after...

She mumbles, speaking her first thought. "I still wish you could've met Mama and Baba. They would've loved you."

[coolgoodandfine]

Day 10: Hello, Stardust

Y'know, all things considered, I think Loop handled their whole situation pretty well. Like, I've joked for years that if I were to meet myself, it was on sight, and they at least waited before throwing down.

Scaled up version under readmore

[simplydnp]

Stop im rewatching why dan is leaving me bc of ur post theyre so disgustingly domestic i adore them

sometimes i watch that video just to feel something

[thedrotter]

Do any of you remember a Youtube video about Re:Kinder talking about how the game is seen and percieved by some people (mostly touching upon and arguing against how it has been treated insensitively as some sort of weird legend like "ooo disturbing game with a hidden truth behind it" due to it's creator being dead), as well as talking about the charm of the game (even mentioning it's art at some point) and sadness of the themes without spoiling anything at the same time?? I remember the video avoided saying any spoilers at all and only touched on the literal plot as the kids being stuck in a dire situation in the town with all the adults dead without really getting into the why (it didn't even say one of the kids themselves was the cause— as thus, spoiler free), other than that it just touched on the emotional side of it and vaguely mentioned some scenes.

i also remember at some point the later half (at the very least if not in all of it) of the video, music by Siinamota was playing in the background. Does anyone remember seeing a video like this?

I can't seem to find it anywhere and don't even remember the exact year I watched it.😭 It was the way I found out about this game a while ago, which eventually ended up in me playing it, and I really wish I could watch it again. I thought it was a deleted video by someone called hazel as it was mentioned by a lot of people, but I found that one and it isnt it.😓 I'm wondering if anyone remembers watching something along the lines of what im describing and knows if it's still up.

[babsbabbles]

guys Im beginning to think maybe. most people dont actually compile vast amounts of data. as a hobby

[arolesbianism]

Thinking abt my dupe ocs again... Maybe Quinn does have hashtag issues actually

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

GUYS… 💀

Skully J. “I greet you with a kiss” Graves

You wake up in his arms after blacking out

Calls you “my dear” and “lovely”/“wonderful” even though we literally just met

Comments that your names are beautiful

Offers to escort you (well, Trey technically) through the woods even though Skully has no idea where tf he’s going

Remarks that it would be nice to hold hands and stroll through the forest together

He tends to use the term "fated" to refer to things he has in common with others

Is the first character in all of Twst to have a BLUSHING face

He holds your hand and kisses you (on the back of it??) without even waiting or asking for your okay (avert your eyes, Grim…)????

HE ALSO KISSES GRIM AND ALL THE OTHER BOYS ON THE HAND

HE KISSES YUU MULTIPLE TIMES THROUGHOUT THIS EVENT

HE WALKED OUT OF a DAtinG SIM 😭

Other Skully facts:

He’s taller than Malleus (not including the horns, just judging by the models) and Sebek (stated explicitly in the dialogue)

He’s is a first year student

He’s 16, same age as the other first years (though Skully only recently turned 16)

Speaks very respectfully, even to fellow first years (Riddle remarks on Skully being very gentlemanly and even Vil calls Skully elegant)

He refers to himself using an archaic form of “I” (wagahai)

HE’S AN OTAKU FOR HALLOWEEN, he calls Jack Skellington “Jack Skellington-sama” and says Jack is the person he admires the most dbsksbsiqguzvs

Skully asks everyone else call him Jack-sama too

He comes from a small isolated fog-shrouded rural village; it is located at the bottom of a valley

His hometown considers Jack Skellington the founder of Halloween; Jack Skellington is not known outside of this village

The people in Skully’s hometown love Halloween and its founder, Jack

He seems to be sleep deprived???

Skully tries to tell others at his school about Halloween and Jack, but his peers don’t listen and get mad at him

Skully doesn’t like to talk about his school (and seems to actively dislike it, calling his classmates fools and asking to avoid the topic of school)

He self-admits to not having many people who understand him

Confirmed a mage (Leona says he has the same amount of magic as Epel), but he doesn’t have a magical pen/doesn't seem to know what they are???

He doesn't know Malleus either.

Skully claims he was also sucked into the book while attending the used book fair in Foothill Town

Chunibyo?? Like, he presents as mysterious initially but actually has very excitable reactions to things, lots of purple prose too

Leona calls him a BADGER

He calls his classmates “worthless” for not understanding/listening to him

He thinks lowly of those who disagree with his opinions on Halloween; there is a drastic shift in his personality when the NRC students express dissent

Skully’s ideal Halloween is solemn and desolate, involving: beating up all ghosts, painting rooms entirely black, no decorations, and no music

This is how his village spends Halloween, in solemn silence; Skully grew up thinking this is how it always is

He likes classical music and opera

He acts gentlemanly because he believes Jack is also a gentleman

He wants to learn piano someday

Skully believes that staying traditional and respecting and protecting the past is important

Details about his unique magic

(Side note: GRIM’S NEW oUTFIT 👌 He looks perfect in that suit!! LOOKS At HIS WIDDLE PAW gLOVES… And the chest fluff sticking out gives the illusion of a cravat! Aaaaaah, so cute 💕)

[styrofauxm]

Honestly, I am pretty frustrated by the "haha why would anyone hate ace people" responses to Rowling's tweet.

Don't get me wrong, the support is nice. But if you want to be an ally, you have to do so on our terms, not yours. And that means actually engaging with the aspec community, not just posting positivity every now and again. And what those responses highlight to me is what I've known for a while; you guys only support aspec people when it's easy and convenient.

It's easy to support aspec people when it's J.K. Rowling being awful again. It's easy to support us when it's just reblogging an "aspec people are queer" post.

But what about when we are talking about amatonormativity and the relationship hierarchy? When we are discussing the enforcement of compulsory sexuality? When we are pushing for greater awareness and support for aspec identities that are not asexuality or aromanticism? When we are criticizing terminology that you use but harms us? Because I can tell you right now, I rarely see allo people engage with those posts.

Why do people hate asexuality (or any other aspec identity)? Because it challenges the societal norms that benefit them. And that is uncomfortable and scary. So they turn to hate and oppression in order to assure that the changes we push by just openly existing never happen.

That means that to be a good aspec ally, you can't just make a positivity post every now and again, and you can't just laugh about how stupid aphobes are. You have to openly challenge the societal norms that harm us, even if they benefit you. Including but not limited to:

The idea that romantic and sexual attraction is the default state of being (amatonormativity)

The idea that a romantic, sexual relationship completes a person

People in marriages receiving special privileges and benefits

The idea that platonic, familial, etc. attraction are default states of being

The idea that not feeling some form of attraction must be compensated for through another form of attraction

The idea that love (not just romantic) is inherently morally good, while not feeling love is inherently a moral failing

The idea that any one form of relationship is inherently more important or deeper than any other (relationship hierarchy)

The idea that any one thing makes someone human

The idea that not having sex is shameful or infantile

The idea that having sex without romantic love is callous

Gendered divides of sexual and romantic attraction

Other aspec people please feel free to add on/challenge any of this. Allo (not aspec) people please feel free to ask questions.

Additions:

Addition from @blkaroculture

Addition (in tags) from @fluffytimearts

Addition (in tags) from @cjreblogsthings

I've placed some resources for learning more about these topics under the cut.

Amatonormativity:

[PT: Amatonormativity:]

1. Amatonormativity Coining

2. Introduction to Amatonormativity

3. Challenging Amatonormativity

4. Effects of Amatonormativity and Compulsive Sexuality on Asexual and Aromantic College Students

5. Effects of Amatonormativity On Black, Polyamorous Men

6. Essay on Amatonormativity From a Aroallo, Loveless Perspective

Marriage Benefits:

[PT: Marriage Benefits:]

1. Article about Singlism and Marital Privilege

Other Aspec Identities:

[PT: Other Aspec Identities:]

1. Aplatonicism

2. Afamilialism

Loveless:

[PT: Loveless:]

1. Loveless articles on the AUREA website

2. Essay on Amatonormativity From a Aroallo, Loveless Perspective (repeat from Amatonormativity section)

3. Follow-up Essay on Lovelessness and Aroallo Antagonism

4. Results of a Survey of Loveless People (part 2 is linked instead of part 1 as part 1 is mostly demographic information)

5. Guide to Writing Loveless Characters (it focuses on fictional characters so should not be taken as a catch-all for real people, but it still has a ton of good information about lovelessness and loveless antagonism)

Compulsory Sexuality:

[PT: Compulsory Sexuality:]

1. Effects of Amatonormativity and Compulsive Sexuality on Asexual and Aromantic College Students (repeat from Amatonormativity section)

2. Breakdown of Compulsory Sexuality

Relationship Hierarchy vs Relationship Anarchy:

[PT: Relationship Hierarchy vs Relationship Anarchy:]

1. Relationship Anarchy Coining

2. Breakdown of Relationship Anarchy

3. Issues Presented by the Relationship Hierarchy

Oppression:

[PT: Oppression:]

1. Aphobia Masterpost

2. Asexual History and Oppression

3. Asexual Theory 101

Miscellaneous:

[PT: Miscellaneous:]

1. Research on Aromantics

2. Ace in the UK Research and Activism ft. Yasmin Benoit

3. Asexual History and Oppression (repeat from Oppression section)

4. Asexual Theory 101 (repeat from Oppression section)

Books and Video Essays:

[PT: Books and Video Essays:]

An Ace Discourse Retrospective by Jenny Geist

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J. Brown

[daemonbrain]

"One of me is cute but two though!"

2.4k, cw: breeding kink, smut, kinda baby trapping (?), not proofread

a/n: based off Juno by Sabrina Carpenter hehe happy reading :)

Simon Riley who would go to the ends of the earth for his bird. You wanted to watch your favorite movie for the millionth time with him? Done. You were craving take out from that special spot across town in the middle of the night? He’s placing your order and grabbing his keys to go pick it up after a quick goodbye kiss. You wanted him to kill a little red-haired prick who got too close to you -grazed your arm- yesterday at 17:37 while in a crowded line when he went to the loo, with his bare hands? Fan-tastic. (He may be projecting a little)

But he was worried. He might not be the most perceptive man, but he wasn’t so thick headed he couldn’t see the signs.

The way you made googly eyes at every baby you passed by. Fuck sakes he had never seen so. many. babies. 

Little things everywhere nowadays, though it might just be he’s now paying enough attention to notice. It definitely helped the unintentional search that your grip on his arm tightened every time you saw one. Your soft coos as you turned to him to say for a third time in a row that the babe was the “cutest thing you had ever seen”.

He loved you like he loved his gun after it got him out of a tough spot (he loved you more, but he's pretty poor at putting an example on it), but there was one thing he was wholly unsure he could give you. Being a father has never been something he was sure of, his own making his childhood a living hell assuring him that it wasn’t in his genes or anywhere in his future. He came to terms with that years ago and shoved the idea out of his mind entirely. 

As you both sat down at a coffee shop while taking a break from your park walk, you just happened to get seated right next to another woman, a stroller in your direct view.

Fuckin’ great.

Biting your lip you take a peek at the chubbiest little thing in a deep sleep. Catching the gaze of the mother you smile. “She’s adorable” you chirped. 

As the mother responded with a smile of her own, Simon felt a foot gently nudging his leg as gave him the prettiest eyes. Did you even try to hide it anymore? No, you really didn’t. Eyes filled with thinly veiled intentions, eyes that said “Look how cute! Jump across this table and give me one now,” 

“Isn’t she cute Si?!”

He sighed and replied in his usual grumble, “course, ‘er little jumper is nice.” Tactics. Swiftly move out from the topic and do not let the missus see the little bows… on the jumper… he just pointed- for fucks sake you saw it.

After quite some time giggling with the mother over photos, because of course that had to be the natural progression of things, Simon observed in his characteristic shadow-like demeanor before the little one began to fuss in her sleep. The mother excused herself and the babe to nurse and it’s then you finally turn back to your silent companion with your usual beaming.

“ ‘avin fun there, yeah?” He laughed which came out more as a snort as you mockingly kicked him under the table.

“I am as a matter of fact!”

Pulling his hands into the air in surrender he looks you head on. “Okay, I get it.”

“The baby was just so- ugh! Did you see how chubby she was? Her little hair.. Gosh!” Stay on task. Do not get distracted by the target's beautiful smile or laugh. Someone had to be the voice of rationale after all.

“Like I said ‘er jumper was nice.”

When the pout came to your lips, he considered it a success (you were hot either way) and chalked the whole thing as a minor bump in the road. Whatever this baby fever was would pass.

Nonetheless, he should’ve known his bird better than that. She wasn’t a quitter, that’s for damn sure. As you cooked up dinner in that cute apron and served it plated up so nicely it dawned on him just how… domestic this all was.

It was nice, he concluded. Calm.

You remained pensive and quiet for the most part during dinner, clearly desperate to say what you had been on your mind for weeks. He could see the way your mind's gears turned, wanting to blurt it out. Like an animal going feral at the bars of its cage. Except your the animal and your cage is the inherent trust you will not go awol and chuck your birth control pills into the trash while he’s not watching.

“Simon…” 

Here it comes.

Simon grunted out his response while chewing on his food, looking up to meet your cautious gaze. Leaning across the table you gently lay your hand on his which held his fork, pushing it down.

“I’ve been thinking… a lot lately.” There you went with that look again. “Have you… ever thought of kids before? I- I know we’ve had this talk before… but-”

“C’mere.”

He outstretched his big arms and patted his lap. With quick acceptance you hurried over and let him pull you on top of him, one hand on the back of his chair and the other on your ass for support. The deep kneading of it was also for support of course. 

“You know how I feel about them. ‘Is jus not somethin I think about.” He didn’t dare look away from your eyes. If he was about to take that gleam out of your eyes he at least owed it to you to watch.

You grabbed his face with a light touch and caressed the stubble which had begun to grow with a look beginning to resemble a spot of desperation. Pressing yourself further into his body, you couldn’t help your protests.

“Si.. I just- I want one so bad.” You began to slide your hand down the side of his neck, pressing forward to gently place a kiss. Leaning your forehead in the junction between his shoulder and neck you continued before he could respond.

“Don’t you? A little baby with us all the time.”

Someone had to be the voice of reason and Simon was going to have to put his foot down on this.

“You’re not thinkin straigh’. It would be cute-” He was cut off in shock as he felt the slight rock of your hips as you cowered into his shoulder.

“Just imagine it! One of me is cute enough, but two!” The pace began to speed up as you blatantly started grinding against him. He let out a little huff. Voice of reason. Though his reason was nowhere to be found when he put his hand that was idly on the chair to your backside to encourage the movement.

You knew what came next, you had to sweeten the pot. You knew you were being mean, but you just had to! You were practically given no choice!

“Don’t you want that Si! Don’t you wanna make something together?” You all but pleaded. He looked straight past your head with a crumbling steely demeanor. Fuck.

You already began to tug at his shirt and with a final glare, Simon couldn’t help but look at his pretty bird. His pretty bird on top of the prize she coveted, heat passing between their bodies. Just one time. One time and then they could talk about this properly. 

Simon gathered you up in his arms and stood while pressing an eager kiss to your lips. It was a soft and long thing as he brought you both to the bedroom you shared. He threw you down on the bed and stripped himself as you excitedly did the same.

Smiling up at him as if you won. You did not win. This was not a win, right? You were on your birth control either way, he would pull out as needed. What harm is there in fucking his own girl.

Pushing you on to your back he parted your legs to look what lay between them. There was the prize he was most proud of. Puffy cunt at the mercy of the cool air being pushed out by the vents. You were already beginning to shine.

“You were just waiting for it weren’t you? Knew I couldn’t leave you hanging, yeah?”

With a giggle you spread your thighs further and wiggled your hips teasingly. Simon dropped to his knees and pulled your body to the edge of the bed. Throwing each of your legs on either of his shoulders he spit into your cunt, taking two thick fingers and rubbing it in, catching on to your hole lightly as he played with the slick. He could see the way your stomach tightened as he circled your clit and he winded you up further when he firmly flicked it.

“Si” you whined.

“Wha’ is it?” He grinned as he lowered his head to press a kiss down. Devolving from a kiss, he grabbed onto one of your thighs with a strong grip and began to sloppily lick while you let out your breathy little moans, sensitive to the absolute tank holding you still as he ate straight from the source.

He licked and it just kept going. Dragging his tongue around your cunt, up to your puffy clit. He harshly sucked as he latched on to it drawing a cry from your vulnerable form. Tugging at his hair, he only looks up with his eyes, refusing to pull away his mouth. 

Shaking your head with wide eyes you couldn’t help but push your fluffy little agenda.

“Si please. Please. Please, I need it! I’d never ask for anything else-” you moaned in surprise once again as he added a finger into your hole. Willing himself to pull away from you, Simon continued to fuck his finger into you as he spoke up, spittle and slick coating his mouth. He had to switch gears, use logic (and cum) to deter you.

“We’d never have time. All this?-” He added another finger into your clenching pussy “Gone. We’d be cleaning spit up instead.”

“We’d have a baby!” You exclaimed insistently.

You were practically off the edge, usually by now Simon had you fucked into your own little world. This incessant begging for a little one of your own is keeping you sharper than usual. He’d fix that.

“Please Simon” You pulled him up, the strain of his cock to be inside you encouraging him to follow your movements. He looked at you pretty tits, pretty like everything else on you. Taking a nipple between his fingers and rolling hard.

“These’d get all full.”

Fuck that backtracked his own point. His mind fighting back the onslaught of thoughts at the sight of your tits growing round and heavy because of something he could do. Would your body get all soft- NO.

Lining himself up and looking at that pleading expression, the only time he’d ever seen you so wanting of something you were willing to roll around with nothing else on your mind.

“Just one Si, just one with your eyes your nose your hair-” Your breath went short as he pushed himself in, giving shallow thrusts to feed into your aching cunt. Recomposing yourself you gripped on to his bicep, “Just do it, lock me down tonight.”

Simon couldn’t help the way he subconsciously began pushing your thighs up to give himself a deeper angle, your ankles dangling weightlessly above your head, knees to your chest. The groans which sounded through the room as his hips hammered into you in a desperate chase. 

The two of you could do nothing but stare into each other's eyes, losing yourselves in each other while your cunt squeezes him like a vice. Determined to keep him there, body obstinately stuck on one thing.

 Someone had to be the voice of reason. Someone had to object to a little one with his eyes and your personality. Someone had to be rational and not think about painting the nursery while you waddled about. Someone had to remain level-headed and not imagine the way your eyes would light up with unfettered joy.

You tossed your head back and he couldn’t help but grip your face in his hand, tugging it right back to him.

“With me bird, with me. Look at me.”

Someone had to be rational.

Nodding your head shakily you keep your eyes on the massive man pounding away at you, feeling the way your stomach bulges trying to accommodate all of him, your cunt coaxing him further into the sticky trap.

Your body begging for one thing, you looked like you needed it. Tongue lolling out of your mouth as you were fucked stupid, sweat collecting on your brow. You looked perfect. Your whining swallowed by his own mouth when he presses another kiss to your swollen lips, body enduring in hopes the fat cock ruthlessly disturbing its peace would grant it the big load it craved.

Someone had to be rational?

Maybe it was the way you sucked him in, the way he couldn’t stop thrusting into you, but it’s as if your body sent some message to the receptors in his mind. All that flashed before him images of happy and full and with his baby.

As if you could sense his thoughts, your own peak quickly overcame you white hot. The way you spasmed around him with a loud cry of pure ecstasy.

“Give it to me!” You somehow managed. His mind went blank as drunk off the pleasure as you were, the only thing he could do was thrust, unable to comprehend anything else.

 A shame Simon couldn’t be rational when it came to his bird.

With the final slam of his hips, his release went into the deepest depths of you. His grip on your hips burning from how tight it was as he kept himself flush against you.

It took a few moments to come down from the high. Simon looked at your sweaty face, hazy from lack of energy. Maybe you did win this one, but he really didn't get all this effort (not that he was complaining) if you were still on birth control.

Birth control... which he hasn't had to remind you to take for quite some time...

Out of pure curiosity at his realization, he gently pushed the two of you further up the bed while keeping you plugged up. Opening the first drawer he manages to grab the box which contained your birth control pills. Upon further inspection, he notices it remains unopened and untouched. Shaking his head with a gruff laugh he peers down at you as you shiver from the rumble.

“Dirty girl”

You just smiled.

[irndad]

i wish i knew you wanted me - s.r.

a/n: okay this ended up being so so long forgive me!!! i hope you like<3 summary: based loosely on 'bad habit'. spencer got asked out by reader 5 years ago, when he was recovering from his dilaudid addiction, and turned her down. now, he's in love with her, and pining for her. also, jealous!spencer. she fell first, he fell harder. wc: ~2k

She’s very pretty. It’s distracting. Right now, she’s staring intently at his hands, and he feels hot under her gaze. It’s been a while since he’s done this, the little rocket trick, but she’s visiting the office, and Garcia had mentioned he’s a magician. 

“That’s incredible!” She exclaims, a giggle in her laugh, and he feels the swoop of his stomach, the butterflies of it all, “You got them so high up!”

“It’s just physics,” he laughs, meeting her warm gaze. Her smile is one for the ages. 

She’s here dropping off a file. They’ve known eachother a really long time, actually. She was an expert witness for them, once, years ago. She spoke with ease, both on the stand and in person. Equal measure kind and measured, and Spencer had adored her on first glance. They’d met when he was just getting clean from Dilaudid, and Spencer’s been in love with her since not long after than first meeting. That’s pretty much the only thing about her he wishes he could take back. 

He still has a hard time thinking about it, the fact that he met her when he was barely himself. Still, she’d been kind, listened to him talk and let the others tell her that he was…going through something. It was on his two month sobriety date (which she’d had no way of knowing) that she’d asked him out. 

Sometimes, when he can’t sleep, he replays the memory in his head. How she works just south of their office, and how they’d meet at the café nearest, and chat for an hour before calling a cab home. 

On the other side of the veil, he can picture that night, years ago now. How she’d looked with the snow kissing her nose, dotting the edges of her faux-fur hood. She’d stuck out her tongue to catch a snowflake, and he’d almost combusted and the adorability of it. 

“You look nice,” she’d said, although at the time he’s pretty sure he looked gaunt. He’d only recently started to gain the weight back- but still, her praise felt like stardust. 

“You look nicer,” he’d said back, gently bumping her shoulder as a fond gesture. Her little grin is well-worth how awkward they both look on the street.

“Listen,” she had said, stuffing her hands into her pockets, the size of the coat causing her hands to disapear from sight entirely, “I asked JJ and Morgan, and they said you’re not seeing anyone.”

“Oh, yeah. They love reminding me of that. Not everyone can be like Morgan and have dated half the western hemsiphere.”

He felt embarrassed, her watching him. It’s nice, but sometimes feels like staring into the sun. 

Her chuckle was nervous, not fully reaching her eyes. 

“You okay? 

“Yeah,” she swallowed again, before speaking, “I was wondering, um, if you might want to grab a drink with me?”

“Sure,” he’d replied back, amenably. He couldn’t tell why she looked so nervous, “I can’t really do hard liquor, though. Maybe we can invite the team.”

“No, Spence, I was wondering if you and I could go on a um, a date.”

And he’s frozen. Because this might be the second time he’d ever been asked out, and second, this might be his dream girl. She’s gorgeous and kind and she’s in front of him, asking him out. 

“I um,” his mouth was dry. He’d be a bad boyfriend. He was a recovering drug addict who already was bad at talking to people, and she lit up a room whenever she walked in. She finds him easy to be with, easy to care for and he’s bound to fuck it up. He couldn’t imagine giving that up because he was too greedy to take what he got. “I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

He almost took it back with incredible speed, with that flash of disapointment on her lovely face, and the knowledge that it’s because she wanted him, before she quickly regained her speech.

“That’s totally alright! We’ll just be good friends, yeah?”

In the here and now, they are friends. Best of, really. And he made the right choice. He’d lashed out at Emily a month later in a withdrawl, and he knows that he’d have done the same to her, and now, she’s still in his life. 

The drawbacks of course, to being her friend, means she has dates. Boyfriends, as well, and he’s been a…friend, through it all. Good friend. She’s never suspeced him of anything more, of course, after he’d categorically rejected it. 

(Even though this rejection plays in his head all the fucking time, like a torturous groundhog day.)

She’s beautiful today, a blue blouse with a scarf lazily around her neck, and the way she’s leaning over his desk to see the  trick before she drops off her analysis. 

“Alright, Spence,” she says, her rose perfume wafting in the air prior to her hopping off the corner, “Did you need anything else? Today is my half-day, and Harry wanted to take me to Art Insititute.”

Harry, is the boy on rotation at the moment. Spencer has no impulse control and a super-computer expert best friend, so Spencer knows that Harry is 6’0 on his Driver’s License, and is a Financial Analyst. Spencer knows from her own mouth that this will be the third date, and that he’s a little boring but she’s attracted to the fact that he was direct and wanted to go out again. 

Low bar, but one Spencer couldn’t even clear. He doesn’t say any of that, though.

“That sounds fun,” he says, instead of saying that he’d love to walk her through the inscriptions on each art piece, love to kiss her in front of something thats’ beauty does not come close to her’s. “Are you thinking it might run long, or are we still doing the bookstore and TV at mine after?”

He’s been looking forward to this all week. He bought special marshmallows for her cocoa. He also htes to imagine her date running long. 

“Nah,” she smiles, “besides, he’s just some guy. You’re Spencer.”

Morgan doesn’t say anything when he looks down at his. paperwork, and scribbles instead of thinking, the best he can. 

________________________________

Don’t think about the fact she was on a date. Don’t think about how Harry might have got to kiss her. Just don’t bring it up. 

“How was the date?”

She shrugged, pulling at the spine of a hardcover novel. 

“It was fine. Like I said, he was kind of boring.”

“So why’d you go out with him again?”

“I dunno, Spence, I just… I want a boyfriend, you know? I want someone to want to be with me.”

She is so beautiful. She laughs with her whole chest, and she listens to his stories and chimes in with her own expertise. She has a voice that seems like it’s spun gold thread, and he’d give anything to kiss her. 

“I get that,” he says, instead of anything he’s thinking. She’s wearing brown lipstick, transfer proof. He’s in love with her. “There’s got to be guys lining up for a girl like you.”

“That’s a nice thought, Spence. Not the ones I’d like.”

___________________________

This thought haunts his evening, and when he parks and they start the walk-up to his apartment, a confession hammering at his throat, a physical urge. She’s giggling at some long physics joke he’d made, and he’s addicted to the soft bell of her laughter.

His apartment is small and lovely, and he enjoys having her in the small and dark of the night, the sun set over what he wishes were two lovers. 

“You are really pretty, you know,” he says, once she’s settled into his chest, a sick satisfaction of knowing Harry got a quick thank you text before she darted over to Spencer’s arms. 

“Thanks, Spencer. You’re a good friend.”

“Why do you always say that?”

“That you’re a good friend?”

“I’m not saying you’re pretty because I’m a good friend. I’m saying it because it’s true, and I enjoy saying true things.” 

“You don’t…I don’t know why you’re saying that, Spencer. We’re friends and I adore you and I’m here right now, but you don’t need to make it harder on me.”

She looks nervous, and a little disapointed. He wants her to know, that even if he’s missed his shot, she’s not going to be alone. He’s gonna spend the rest of his life hating whoever knew to take the best thing offered to him, but Spencer- he knows he is not going to be the last to love her. He grabs her hand without thinking, her doe eyes peering into his with some emotion he can’t pin down. 

“Hey, I’m not trying…to make anything hard for you. I don’t ever want to do that. I just… some day someone’s gonna see you and want to be with you and I’m going to watch it and know it was inevitable.” 

The words taste like barbed wire. 

Ask me again, he wants to beg, I’m ready now. I’ll do it right. 

Is that even true? Is it just that he wants her bad enough he’s willing to risk not doing it right?

“You’re so sweet,” she sobs, and oh, she’s crying. Just a little, but tears prick at the corners of her eyes. “You make it so hard to be your friend. And I know that’s my problem, that you’ve always been straight up with me. I asked you out and you said no, and I know that-“

“I know that I was too late, and freaked out about being with someone like you when I was still so fucked up.” they’re so close to eachother, he can smell her chapstick. His chest aches. “Sweetheart, that had nothing to do with you. It was all me. It’s a train I missed that I’m gonna spend the rest of my life wishing I’d caught.”

He feels uncomfortably bare, even in the oversized sweater that she’d gotten him last Christmas, and that he’d pretended had been from his lover all of that week. But it’s important that she knows.

“What do you mean, ‘too late’?”

Her voice is small, so quiet he barely hears it. She threads her nimble fingers into his slender ones, and his heart is hammering. 

“I-I was on Dilaudid, or just barely off, you know- you wouldn’t want to be with someone like me. You asked me out when you didn’t even know that.”

“I know you now. Years worth of knowing.”

“And you haven’t asked me since.” 

“Spencer,” her voice is warm, rich like silk and grainy old music, and he wants to drink this image in, her fingers stroking the side of his face like he’s holy. He wonders if he’s dreaming, with how good she feels to be so close to. 

Ask me again, he wants to beg. I’m ready, now. 

“Spencer Walter Reid,” she says, properly holding his hand, bringing her soft lips to his hand, kissing his knuckle. He feels anointed, blessed by a higher power. “Could I take you out on a date?”

“Yes,” he says, finally. Five years of waiting melts away as he kisses her, warmth and light seeping into existence, a dream brought to tangible life, to touch and reality, “Actually, wait,” he says, and finishes before her face can fall, “Would you be my girlfriend?”

It’s maybe playing his cards too much, but her wide, ear to ear splitting grin is everything he needs to see, everything he might need to see for the rest of his life. 

“Took you long enough, boy-genius.”

“All you had to do was ask again!”

If she has a complaint about that, it certainly couldn’t be heard by the many, many kisses that would follow.