#and yeah... yeah I'm getting a fucking jumping spider too

[hazel2468]

Well guys, I have an announcement!

Everyone, meet Reaper!

He's a Phyllocrania Paradoxa- a Ghost Mantis, and I fucking adore him!

He seems very lively, but very okay with being handled. I'm obviously not going to be handling him a lot, but he walked right out onto my hand when I got him from his little travel cup, and he decided he would rather take a drink of a little water drop off my finger than off of his leaf!

I tossed a pair of fruit flies into his enclosure, and he spent about ten minutes stalking one before snatching it up and munching on it. Ate the whole thing really quick- he was hungry! If he doesn't catch the other, I'll make sure he gets another one either today or tomorrow (the other one might have gotten lucky and escaped, not sure, if it did, well, good for it).

[cosmosluckycharms]

can we get more incorrect quotes?

like this time with miguel + reader but also damion and penny

i mean like if you INSIST (i love making these)

spider!reader, peni & damian : *screaming*

miguel: *runs into the room* What's wrong, damian ?!

spider!reader: Wait, why are you asking damian that when peni and I are also here?

miguel: Because damian wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

spider!reader: The scariest president had to be Rushmore because he had four heads.

peni: Yeah, it’s a good thing we captured him in that mountain, even if we have to live in fear of the spell wearing off.

miguel: Do you two still believe in that legend? Come on, Rushmore was killed a hundred years ago! We’re safe now.

damian : You people have clearly never taken a history lesson. His body was never found.

miguel: Are you laughing at that video of peni and damian fighting?

spider!reader: No.

spider!reader: I'm laughing at the comments.

*The squad is visiting a store late at night to return a DVD for spider!reader*

damian: I forget—what happens if we don’t return the DVD before midnight?

miguel: Then spider!reader gets charged extra. It’s called a “late fee”.

peni: Or was it zombie apocalypse? Eh, I don’t remember, but we can’t afford either.

peni: *clicks pen*

spider!reader: *clicks pen in response*

damian: Stop that.

peni : Stop what?

damian: You’re talking about me in Morse code!

spider!reader: Yes, that’s what we doing. In our very limited time, we took a class on a very outdated, very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you. Congrats, you figured us out!

*later*

spider!reader, to miguel: That’s actually exactly what we were doing.

peni: Can I be frank with you guys?

damian: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is going to help.

spider!reader: Oh! Can I still be spider!reader?

miguel: Shh. Let Frank speak.

miguel: I just watched peni jump off of a spinning chair. Luckily, she wasnt hurt that badly. But the whole time, damian was screaming for help, which caused spider!reader to run in to help peni. Just note that all of this happened in the span of six minutes.

miguel: What do you three have to say for yourself?

peni:

damian:

spider!reader: Oops?

damian: miguel, we're hungry!

peni: miguel! What's for dinner?

spider!reader: We're hungry, miguel!

miguel, frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove: *screams*

miguel: Why are you two always out during rainstorms?

spider!reader: It’s so peaceful and refreshing. I love the smell of rain.

damian : peni bet me I couldn’t get struck by lighting, but she's WRONG.

miguel: *points at peni* A human turtleneck, *points at damian * a narcissistic monster, *points at spider!reader* and literally the dumbest person I’ve ever met.

spider!reader: And who am I? Describe me now.

peni, pointing to the wall: What color is this?

damian : Gray.

spider!reader: Grey.

peni, turning to miguel: Now tell them what color you think it is.

miguel: Dark white.

spider!reader: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out.

miguel: Fucking damian and peni were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.

*The gang when they drop food on the floor*

miguel: Aw man. *Throws it away*

spider!reader: Five second rule!

damian : Foolish germs, thinking they can stop me!? *Eats it off the floor*

peni: *Sobs on the floor*

spider!reader: damian's out the will.

damian: That’s honestly fair. I deserve that.

miguel: Wait, you have a will? Already? You haven’t even graduated.

spider!reader: I’ve done some things in my life. Upset the wrong people. peni, you have a will too, right?

peni: Lots. Good luck figuring out which one’s real.

spider!reader: Small creatures are much more vicious because they have a smaller body to bottle up all their emotions.

damian: Ridiculous. Give me some examples.

miguel: Wasps?

peni: Terriers?

spider!reader: damian.

damian: What’s it like being tall?

peni: Is it nice?

spider!reader: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

miguel: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want.

peni: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?

damian : *crouches down*

spider!reader: *kneels down*

miguel: *sits on the floor*

peni: peni: I hate all of you.

peni: damian got into a fight.

spider!reader: That’s bad.

spider!reader:

spider!reader: Did he win?

peni: Hey, spider!reader, have you thought about having children?

spider!reader: ...

spider!reader: Does looking over you and the others not seem like I already do? Because I promise you, it sure feels like it.

peni: But we're not childr-

spider!reader, already distracted: DAMIAN, PUT THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER DOWN!

damian: You're pathetic!

peni: You're pathetic-er!

spider!reader: You're both losers.

damian: Comparing spider!reader and peni is like comparing apples and oranges.

spider!reader: We’re both unique in our own ways?

damian: Apples are superior in every way and all oranges should be eliminated.

peni: Which one of us is the orange?

spider!reader: damian, peni, I love y’all and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing?

damian, trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that peni is sitting atop: Oh nothing much.

peni: I love you too :)

peni: I know we’re not exactly friends, but-

damian: What do you want?

peni: I've been stuck with spider!reader for 2 weeks and they've been drinking all the soy sauce.

peni: Help.

spider!reader: I will find us a covered wagon and horses. spider!reader: If you two can manage to not kill each other while I'm gone.

damian: Oh, please. We're not children.

*spider!reader leaves*

damian, casually: ...Eat shit and die.

peni, also casually: Yes, fuck you.

spider!reader: damian, we need that!

damian, holding peni over a trash can: Nope.

spider!reader: Gimme it—

damian: It’s garbage.

peni: How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny on spider!reader without them noticing?

damian: Hey, spider!reader, I bet you 5 bucks that you can't swallow this penny.

spider!reader: *takes and swallows tracker* Pay up, loser.

peni: ...

peni: What’s your favorite color?

damian: Stop asking stupid questions. Ask me something logical and mature.

peni: How many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of sulfuric acid at STP?

damian: My favorite color is red.

damian: We vegetarians love the environment. Carnivores are sick freaks.

peni: How can vegetarians possibly love the environment.. you keep eating all the fucking plants.

haha i love damian and peni my sillies for weal

[signedkoko]

Could I get a Mammon, Vox and Husk with a S/O who gets harassed on the street and their reaction? You can have full creative control over what type of harassment!

I love your fics- if this isn’t getting the creative juices flowing just let me know and I’ll request something different <3

🦷 anon

Husk | Mammon | Vox [Romantic]

In which some loathsome idiot thinks they'll get away with harassing their beloved s/o.

One of your favourite date nights is spent bar hopping

Pop a drink or two in each one, sometimes sharing one cocktail, his wing draped around you, your head leant on his shoulder, humming to the music surrounding you

Both of you had a preference for the less popular spots, the kinds of places you got the weirdest combinations, where he could be inspired and you could give him thoughts

The plus side of the smaller joints was that the music was never too loud, drinks were cheaper, and there was always a few spots free at the bar

Downside was that most places had their regulars, the kind of people who couldn't get in anywhere else

The kind of desperation that builds and spreads like mold in the corner of a dark room next to a leaky pipe

On a few occasions, someone would harmlessly ask to buy you a drink and would turn tail when Husk gave them his usually 'fuck off' look

But this time, the guy would just not get the hint

" What? Already claimed dibs on the bitch? "

Yeah- no, that attitude towards you is not going to fly

Not even three seconds and there's a bottle smashed on the drunk demons head, and three cards flying back into Husk's hand

That's when the bleeding starts

You slap a 20 down for your bill and jump straight up, already being dragged by Husk out the door

Insists if he stayed there you would have both gotten banned anyways, and he likes that spot

You guys don't really go out so casually without a good reason, or just for old times sake

A sin and his spouse on a city street in greed was just asking for bad things to happen

But still, if you asked and he had nothing that day, Mammon would always rather get quality time with you and people watch

Thats most of your conversation, pointing out demons and joking about what you think they are like, what the do, how they speak

It's always a fun game, until some newcomer saw you laughing at him and marched right up, clearly on something and clearly ready to have a go at someone

The moment he reaches for your wrist, his thumb falls to the floor, a messy and jagged cut the only sign of attack besides one of Mammons spider legs now revealed

Before he can even realize the pain or what's happened, Mammon lets out a menacing laugh

" Every extra inch towards my broad is another finger. "

That demon was already screaming and running away, most the crowd on the street that was watching now hurrying in any direction opposite of you and Mammon

" I'm only worth one finger? "

" Nah. Just being generous for once. "

Not really a street guy, but unfortunately some press conferences and events require mingling and interacting with others, which he never liked

Thankfully, with you he has an excuse to stay away from others, or show you off

He usually goes for the latter

He's all 'Have you met my wife?' 'My wife loves x and y!' 'Isn't my wife absolutely gorgeous?'

You are the first topic he speaks of after his company; you'd be the first if he didn't have to waste so much time being a salesman, but that is how the cookie crumbles

Sometimes when there's specific press releases, he has to send you off for a moment, where you usually go and mingle with some of the others in his industry you befriended

During one such interview, he couldn't help but spot out the corner of his eye, some lousy business woman drape her arm around your waist and grab at your hip

" Sorry yeah, this interview is over. "

Literally shoves his way over, sparks and electricity flying, to rip you out of her arms

" Baaabe, is this a friend? Whatever the case, we really gotta get going! "

Jealousy 3000

He's glad he stepped in after he overhears that lady had a habit of harassing other attendees

New clause in every interview; they have to include you or provide security over you while he is busy

Author's Note - Tooth anon comes in for another PIPIN HOT request!! I actually feel so bad because every time I take a break form writing is on yoru request and that really makes it look bad I am so sorry 😩

[hanasnx]

" GIVE ME THE SWEETEST GOODBYE THAT I EVER DID RECEIVE " — peter parker.

MINORS DNI 18+ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ NOTES: takes place during the events of the marvel's spider-man 2 game. WARNINGS: fem reader | established relationship | morning sex mention | mild exhibitionism | sex against a window.

"You forgot your lunch again." are words PETER PARKER has heard too many times. He spins in place, disengaging from his work to face you, his girlfriend, who so graciously conquered his paper bagged lunch and retrieved it for him like his knight-in-shining-armor.

"Knew I was forgetting something." he murmurs, receiving the sack from you and stealing a greeting kiss from your lips in the same motion.

"Yeah, you left in kind of a hurry this morning." you reply with an impish grin tugging at your lips, leaning your palms at the edge of his desk. You meet his eyes over your shoulder, noting his knowing smile.

He approaches you from behind, lowering his voice to speak in your ear. "Well, that's because someone wouldn't let me." The lunch crinkles as he sets it down, and he hesitates to return to his work when you're here clearly vying for some attention, bringing up this morning of all things...

"Oh, right, because it was all me." you retort sarcastically, breaking exchange of a look to spy on his monitor. You've got a good head on your shoulders, but the stuff Pete does has you at a loss. It's gibberish written across his screen that he no doubt understands and could teach a class on. The thought of his competency drifts your mind elsewhere to the more alluring traits he took on before he left for work. How curious his hands were traversing your body after waking up next to you, kneading your bare form under covers, tucking himself behind you with his morning wood until that confidence bought him some sleepy sex. You heat up, and bite your lip at the memory.

You snap out of your trance, and make more conversation before you excuse yourself so he can get back to work. "Where is everybody?" you ask, voicing your observation. Since you got in, you haven't seen anybody.

Peter pours some coffee into a paper cup, fixing it up how you like it. Steam rises past the rim as he stirs it, and he draws his hand up to suck some sweetness off of his index finger. Your chest jumps, the residual recollection of what it's like to be filled stings your insides. Shifting your weight from leg to leg gives you the subtlest of frictions, and you try to conceal your growing interest by averting your eyes. He brings you the warm cup, handing it to you gently as he looks out through the glass of his office to the lobby. "Harry gave them the rest of the day off. It was in preparation for some repairs—" He glances at you during his explanation, and when you flash a questioning expression, he clarifies. "—er, for the particle accelerator. Apparently, there was some mistake with scheduling so Harry's out trying to get it sorted. I figured I should at least get something done while I'm here waiting it out."

You enter in a well-timed joke. "You should do me." Peter eyes you thoughtfully.

It was not a joke, and it was excellently timed.

"Did you know I've always wanted to fuck in your—mm—office?" you ask, panting while he yanks you back on his dick. Pressed up against the window that overlooks the lobby, your breath fogs it up. Your hands brace flat against it, its temperature cooling your heated skin, indenting your perked nips.

Peter's chuckle through his nose sounds behind you, and it widens your intoxicated grin. "S'not just mine, baby. What's he gonna say when he sees your tit-prints all over the glass?" Some of the stuff Peter says really gets you, his words shooting straight through you as his dirty talk often does. You moan in response, sucking a breath through your teeth right after, biting your lip hard as he plows your pussy. His steady hands on your hips make sure you can't recoil too much and run away too far, he keeps you right where he wants you so easy.

"We could've kept more clothes on, Pete." you gasp, your tone reminiscent of admonishment even though you loved how he flicked your shirt up to squeeze your tits between the window and your body. Knowing him, he'd been waiting to do that since you walked in.

"Now where's the fun in that?"

"You sound like you wanna get caught."

"You think I haven't thought about showing you off?"

[enbyfvcker]

Okay, just- Picture Laura and Wade doing the hear me out trend. She didn't even have to convince Wade, he was down already.

Laura's phone recording them and a deformed cake that Wade baked as they stand in the kitchen.

Logan's sitting in the living room, smoking, bored out of his mind, so he eavesdrop.

"Ellie."

"Gurl, what?! That's my daughter you're talking about." Wade gasps as Laura sinks the paper with Ellie's picture and a toothpick on it on the cake.

"So what? She's pretty."

"She has a girlfriend."

"Which brings me to this." Laura grins as she spikes another paper, this time with Yukio's picture on it.

"Oh, you're really your father's child."

Logan shrugs in his seat.

"Come on, your turn."

"Alrighty." Wade looks through the papers he printed and pulls out one with a Spider-Man picture. "Spidey! I mean, it's obvious, but worth the mention."

Logan raises an eyebrow at that, his attention now fully on their conversation.

"Yeah, I hear you." Laura chuckles.

"Hey, take ur eyes off."

"Well, my turn again." She grins and sinks a toothpick with a Gambit's picture.

"The minion guy? Come on, he speaks gibberish."

"It's not gibberish, it's french. It's charming."

"It's bananas."

"You're boring."

"I'm not, I just have good taste." Wade places a picture of Catwoman, and Laura tilts her head to the side.

"Who's that?"

"Oh, you won't know her. She's got different copyright owners, if you know what I mean."

"I really don't."

"You next, kiddo."

"Magik." Laura announces, placing the picture on the cake that now has little space left.

"Go after her and leave my kid alone, will ya."

"Bitch, I go after whoever I want."

As they record the video, Laura places other people on the cake, but Logan isn't really focusing on that. He's too busy focused on who Wade chooses: he hears Cable, Colossus, Mystique, Emma frost... and he gets more grumpy with each one, crossing his arms and taking a deep swig of his cigar to contain his nerves.

They eventually end filming it, and Wade gives little jumps to the couch, sitting down and throwing his legs over Logan's.

"Hey, Wolvie. Watcha doing?" Wade grins but Logan doesn't even look at him, tossing his legs away, grunting.

"What? Cat got your tongue?" Wade teases but doesn't receive a response again. He pouts. "Wolvieeee? Helloo?" He waves his hand in front of Logan's eyes but nothing.

"Oh, I know that look." Laura places a hand on her hip. "He got the same one that day when that TVA guy kept ogling you." She explains. "He's jealous."

Logan's ears and face heats up, and he just sinks deeper on his seat.

"Whaaat? Oh, that's rich. He actually is! Look, he's blushing!"

"Shut the fuck up, both of you."

[webslingingslasher]

i always imagine peter’s hair as fluffy but yk how when it’s wet it curls. imagine seeing nerdy peter’s hair wet/curly for the first time

i picture he has fluffy curly hair?? it’s much more curly when it’s wet but they’re not as defined when dry.

but (and this is projecting) i love me some curls. so obv, reader does too.

---

‘oh my god!’

peter jumps, you have a finger pointed behind him. ‘oh my god!’ he starts to spin around, ‘what? what is it?’

you can’t form words, all you can think of is ‘oh my god?!’ peter whines out for you, he doesn’t know what’s freaking you out. ‘c'mon, help me out, you’re scaring me.’

peter assumes he has a spider on him, he doesn’t know how he can’t sense it, but your quick calls for him to come closer makes him guess you’re about to swipe him clean.

until your hands dig into his hair, peter shakes you off before stepping back. 'hey, c'mon now. i just washed it.' he did. he also tried to style it, but nothing could hide those coils.

'curls.' your hands have a mind of their own but peter dodges the attack. a pout covers your face, 'curls?'

'i'm saddened to know you've been blind up to this point, but very happy you finally noticed them.' he's having fun with it, you're not. you never get to see them like this.

'peter!' your grabby hands don't do anything, it makes you feel slightly grumpy. all you wanted to do was fawn over the baby curls kissing his ears.

'fine, you have dumb hair. and stupid curls. and... it's too long.'

peter raises an eyebrow, his arms cross over his chest. 'oh really?' you're being challenged, you can't back down. an unconfident head nod was your response.

'thank god you said something, cause i thought you liked it long, but now i know i can cut it off and you won't mind.' you chew on your bottom lip while staring at the brunette.

'how short?' because there's some room to work around, you can handle a summer chop. your boyfriend shrugs, 'more than a buzzcut.'

the words hit you like a crowbar to the knees, you have to back down. you can't lose his curls, you can't. 'no! please no! i love your hair and your curls and it's not long enough!'

peter hits you with a sympathetic pout, 'oh? so, not dumb and stupid?' your feet lightly stomp the ground, 'they're extra curly today, c'mon, please?'

even if he's walking closer, he's still teasing you. 'it's insane how much power my hair has over you.' you light up, you can almost feel the soft pleats over your fingertips.

'yeah, yeah, yeah. can i have?' peter blocks your hands one more time, you're about to scream. 'you know they're mine, right?'

'sure. yeah, if that's what you need to believe.' peter tilts backwards when you reach out, you hate to be that person, but...

'i swear to fucking god, peter, if you ever want to see me naked again, you better let me grab 'em.' in under a millisecond you have your fingers twisted around his hair, a satisfied smile spreads. 'pretty curls.' 

[spiderb00]

- What Is Your Word Of The Day?

Manon Bannerman x 7 member!reader  (request)

"The taste of victory is good, but don't celebrate too loudly” 

Genre – fluff          Warnings – none 

Now playing – Perfect Night, by Le Sserafim 

The night was calm, all the Kats were spread out comfortably in the living room. Sophia, Yoonchae and Megan were watching some movie on television, Lara and Daniela were gossiping about someone you didn't know very well, and Manon, your girlfriend, was listening to all the conversation of yours while stroking your hair. You all didn't have many days off, but when you did, you made it all worth it. The day off was a day with no stress, no complaints and no headache, you unfortunately, were going down a different path.

A few weeks ago, you discovered this word game called Daily Wordle, and you immediately became obsessed with it. You had X number of attempts and if you couldn't get them right, you would lose the game and could only play it again the next day. So, you were very concentrated at that moment, so concentrated, that you didn't even notice the strange looks that your friends and girlfriend were exchanging.

You were quiet for a long time, and that wasn't very normal for you, the girls always said that you and Daniela were the loudest, so when they didn't hear a word if it comes out of your mouth, they were definitely worried.

Exchanging silent glances, the girls debated whether or not to ask if there was something wrong. Your state of stillness was at least a little troubling, and Sophia, as the leader, began to really wonder if anything had upset you.

The girls looked at your girlfriend, silently asking if you were okay. Manon, who just shrugged, tried to look over your shoulder at what you were doing on your phone. When she was close to seeing what you saw so much on that phone, you jumped up off the couch.

"FUCK, YEAH!" You said, jumping up and down, making the girls startle and Sophia glare.

"Yn! Language!" Sophia said as she watched you jump for joy.

"I'm sorry, but I've finally settled the word of the day!" You said, jumping until you got close to Manon and threw yourself into your girlfriend's lap.

"Solved what?" Megan asks, getting confused by what you were saying.

"It's a game, I only have a few tries to figure out the word of the day and I finally got it, at the last minute." You said, laughing and kissing Manon's cheek, showing your happiness. "It was one of the hardest words I've ever caught."

"Why didn't you ask for our help?" Lara asked, reaching out and picking up your phone, to see how the game worked.

"I thought you might think it was silly." You said, slightly embarrassed by your confession.

"Awn, baby. It's not silly." Manon said, putting a strand of your hair behind your ear and giving a little kiss on your lips. "How about I help you next time, huh?" Manon offered, bringing a smile to your face.

"I would love it, love." You respond, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, we're still here!" Daniela said, throwing a cushion at both of you. "And we can help too." The Latina said, making you a little surprised.

"yes, it sounds fun. We'll help you next time." Lara said, giving you back your phone.

"Thank you girls." You said, making them smile back at you.

"But don't yell like that again." Yoonchae said, looking at you with a warning look, making you swallow hard and agree.

MY CLASSES WILL START IN A WEEK, I'M FREAKING OUT GUYS SORRY

Stay safe and drink water

xoxo, spider.

[dewdr0pz-alt]

forever my heaven

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

chapter two: reconciliation

word count: 1.5k

You slowly opened your eyes and were greeted by the blurry sight of...no, the room wasn't blurry. You blinked a few times until your vision was clear.

The room you were in looked completely opposite of the hotel; the walls and furniture were hot pink and purple, there had to be at least fifty pillows on the bed, and a small pig was asleep next to you.

"Why is there a pig..." you whispered to yourself before sighing, body weighed down by exhaustion.

Bones aching, you slowly stood up and wandered over to what you guessed was the bathroom and took a look at yourself in the mirror. You were a mess—your wings were shredded and sticky with honey-colored blood, your eyes were droopy and bloodshot, and small bruises and cuts littered your arms and legs. You were also now in a tank top and pajama shorts that were clearly meant for someone taller. Any blood that had been on your face was wiped off hastily, a few smears near your mouth and eyebrow.

"Oh, you're up," a voice said from the doorway, causing you to jump and whip your head around. There stood a tall...spider? He laughed at your reaction. "I don't bite, toots. Unless ya want me to, but I doubt it."

"Are you a spider?" you blurted. "Sorry, sorry, that was rude—"

"No, you're fine," the spider(?) chuckled. "A humanoid spider, I guess. Call me Angel, toots, 'kay? A lot easier than 'spider boy.'"

"O-Okay," you nodded. "Where...where am I?"

"Well, whaddya remember?" Angel asked, sitting on the bed.

"I...I remember coming to the hotel," you said slowly, "and I knocked...knocked on the door, and this blonde girl was all...all worked up and asked if I was okay, and then she called Lucifer—oh my word, where's Lucifer?"

"Woah, woah, settle down," Angel Dust laughed. "He was worried about ya too, as soon as ya came in. Charlie—that was the blonde chick—sent him up to his room and told him to wait till ya woke up."

"What time is it?" you murmured.

"8:45," Angel Dust said, grabbing his phone off of the nightstand.

"AM?" you asked. When he nodded, you sighed wearily. "I slept all that time?"

"Ya knocked out at around 5:45, 6:00," Angel Dust shrugged. "You were snoring, though," he laughed.

"Oh my stars, is this your room?" you said. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to force you out of your room."

"It's alright, don't worry," Angel Dust held a pair of his hands up and shook his head. "I slept in Husky's room," he added like you were supposed to know who that was. He stood and opened the door for you. "C'mon, let's get you breakfast." You slowly walked out of the room and down the stairs, where there was a television and a few couches.

"Oh, you're awake!" the happy blonde girl—her name was Charlie, right—beamed. She took your hands and sat you down on one of the sofas. "Gosh, you must be starving! We'll get you breakfast and—ooh, wait, how about we take you to a breakfast place? You could get a mini tour of Hell!"

"She's dazed, Charlie," Angel Dust said, "give 'er a few."

"No, it's fine," you shook your head, "I'll go. Who would be going?"

"Oh, right! I should introduce you to everyone!" Charlie laughed. She pulled your hands to stand you up before pointing at the bar. "That's Husk, the one sleeping over there. He's our bartender. A very 'tough love' sorta guy, but you two will get along great! And you've already met Angel! That's Vaggie—she's my girlfriend—she's the one on that couch over there, and I think Alastor's up in his room. Niffty's the little one near the bar."

"Playing with the dead...bugs?" you said slowly with confusion.

"Eugh...yeah," Charlie grimaced. "Angel, do you have any more clothes she can borrow? We should probably go clothes shopping too..."

You sat quietly in the booth, meeting the eyes that were staring at you (Charlie and Angel Dust).

"So, do people fuck in Heaven?" Angel Dust blurted.

You stayed quiet, your cheeks flushing profusely. "Um...Charlie, is--is your father alright?"

"Yeah, he's okay!" Charlie nodded. "He was really rattled when he saw you. Not in a bad way! He was constantly asking about you, wondering if you were okay. He was actually the one who got you into Angel's pajamas."

"That's nice," you smiled. You looked at the water in front of you. "Is the water in Hell...cursed?"

Angel Dust laughed loudly. "Oh, aren't you innocent? It's plain water, toots."

Your face flushed as you took a cautious sip of the water. To your surprise, it was quite nice.

"Did you order anything to eat?" Charlie asked.

"I don't know what any of the food is," you said. "I only recognized bacon, so I ordered a side of that."

"Oh, don't worry, you can have some of mine!" Charlie beamed.

"I'm alright," you shook your head. "I'm not very hungry." You looked up when the waiter came and accepted your food graciously. The bacon looked relatively normal and smelled fine, save for the fact that it was dripping with grease. You took small bites of the piece in your hand, your nails scratching the napkin in your lap.

"If you don't mind me asking," Charlie said, "how did you and my dad meet?"

///

You were sitting on the edge of the small pond in the Garden of Eden, staring curiously at the small, fluffy, yellow creatures swimming about.

"Admiring my creations?" Lucifer laughed, floating down to you.

"What are they?" you asked, staring at the creatures still.

"I call them ducks," Lucifer said as he sat, the smile evident in his voice. "Those are babies. I think I'll call them 'ducklings'. That sounds good, Y/N?"

"Yeah," you smiled, looking up at him. "I like them." You looked back at the ducks. "I think the other angels will like them, don't you think?"

Lucifer sighed nervously. "The higher-ups want me to stop making these new things. They said my ideas were too dangerous. I just think they hate creativity." He laughed.

You chuckled with him. "Well, I certainly don't."

///

"What's your name?" a voice called out, startling you.

Your head snapped up, eyes a little wider now. You stared at the small boy in front of you; his blond hair was nearly white, and he was wearing a white robe that dragged behind him. He looked curious.

"Y/N," you squeaked out. You were both little at that time, but you acted like he was an adult with how nervous you were. "What's yours?"

"Lucifer," he smiled. "But my friends call me Luci. Well, if I had a lot of friends, I bet they would."

"I can call you Luci," you offered.

"Really?" the boy beamed. He skipped over to you and looked down at your toys. "Whatcha playing?"

"I'm making a castle," you said, handing him a blue block. "You can make one. I have dollies, too."

"Is this the princess?" Lucifer picked up a doll with a pink dress. "Does she live in your castle?"

"Mhm," you nodded. "You can make a castle for the prince doll."

"Are the prince and princess in love?" Lucifer asked.

"Probably," you shrugged. "They can have a wedding, too, once he rescues her from the dragon."

"There's a dragon?" Lucifer gasped. "Don't worry, princess, Barnabus the Knight will come to the rescue!"

///

"Childhood friends," you said simply. "We were close before he...you know."

Best friends. Soulmates. Mourners.

"I bet you missed him," Charlie said sympathetically. "I'm sorry about that."

"I was sad then," you said, sipping the water. "I'm fine now."

I'd never wept so hard in my life.

They heard my screams and thought I was being murdered.

"We can have you talk to him when we get back," Charlie offered. "How does that sound?"

"Lovely," you smiled. "That'd be lovely."

You found the door that Charlie had described to you and took a shaky breath before knocking once.

The door slowly creaked open a fraction, and a sliver of an eye could be seen in the crack before the door swung open.

"Y-Y/N," Lucifer gasped. He was trembling, his hair was disheveled, and his eyes were bloodshot. Did they always have bags under them?

You both stood there in silence for some time before a gut-wrenching sob ripped itself from your throat. Though it was a habit, you couldn't bear to cover your face; if this was all a dream, you needed to ensure that you could see him for as long as possible. Lucifer's face contorted into a pain-ridden look of sympathy before he sobbed with you, catching you in his arms as you crumpled.

"I missed you," you whispered. "I missed you so much."

"You came back," Lucifer wept, his hand running through your hair as though he believed it to all be fake. "You're back, you're really back."

"I tried to make them listen," you sobbed, pleading, almost. What you were pleading for was unclear even to you. "I swear, I tried to make them understand, but they didn't listen—"

"Shh," Lucifer soothed through his cries. "I know, I know. You always try so hard."

"They never listen," you bit back what felt like a shriek stuck in your throat.

"I know," he whispered. "But I do."

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

tags: @blueberry-muffin323 @mochamuff1n @eeeeeemmmmmmyyyy @1m-1nsane @lovevxle @back-totheoldhouse

let me know if you'd like to be on the tag list!

[olsenmyolsen]

Rooftop Meeting

maroon master list . dark master list . request marvel master list . short n’ sweet master list

Post Hawkeye - (Female Reader X Yelena Belova) [X Bishova if you squint]

Summary: You get saved in more ways than one. By more than one.

Word Count: 1.6K

Content: Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal Tendencies, Feelings, Trauma, PTSD, CEO Kate Bishop, Protective Yelena

As the cool breeze of autumn slowly crept into the thin air of the later months did you finally stop caring.

About all of it.

This year... well, if we're being honest, these last couple of years hadn't been easy. It felt like one big fuck you after the other, and even when happy memories were made, and parties were celebrated. None of it seemed to matter.

And yeah, you tried talking to people. A therapist here or there. But they couldn't help you or understand you how you wanted. Or you failed to show up to them all together. They were nice but... you knew you had crossed a point with yourself.

So, with a deep sigh, you stepped onto the ledge of your employer's building in the middle of downtown.

Sure, there were other ways this could go. But stepping onto an invincible floor was more straightforward for your brain to process as opposed to shoving down pills.

So you step closer to the edge. However, the wind blew above the high rises, making you stumble back.

Were you scared?

"I wouldn't do that." A heavily accented voice spoke up behind you as a figure landed on the rooftop, making you jump and turn around with a startled look. You were expecting to see a security guard, but instead, you were greeted with the sight of a blonde in a green... superhero suit.

You quickly scanned the woman up and down and found the markings of the Black Widow on her weaponry.

Shit, she was hot and deadly.

"This would not be a cool way to die." The pretty blonde spoke as she stepped- no strutted past you to look over the edge. With a sigh, she shook her head. "Too messy."

Your eyes tracked her and her calm demeanor. She knew you were thinking about jumping and was making jokes?

She walked past you again and pulled out her phone.

Is she texting?

Was your suicide attempt boring her?

"Who are you?" You asked as a small part of you thought she might be a ghost from your past. Or just an actual hero. You haven't seen too many of them lately.

Well, aside from the one spider-guy.

The blonde finished typing on her phone before she put it away and looked over at you before smiling and walking towards you. "I'm Yelena." She stuck out her fingerless gloves hand and shook yours. Her touch was soft but firm. "What's your name?" She asked as she looked into your eyes.

Did people look at people like this?

Was she flirting?

Or was she thinking of all the ways she could save you?

"I'm Y/n."

Yelena smiled back before softly dropping your hand. She then began to walk around on the rooftop as if she had nothing going on. You kept your eyes on her.

"Are you just going to hang out?" You asked.

Yelena shrugged. "Are you going to jump?" Her voice remained stoic. "Why? Are you going to try and save me?" You asked a little more defensively than you meant to. The blonde noticed. "Do you want me to?" Yelena asked as she crossed her arms over her chest and tilted her face to you.

For the first time in a while, you felt a sliver of hope.

Yet you became quiet.

Did you want her to save you?

"Y/n?" She asked when you didn't answer. Your eyes found hers. She stepped closer. Her body language had become gentle. "Y/n..?" This time, you looked at her. Yelena saw tears in your eyes, but they didn't drop.

She wasn't going to let anything happen to you.

"Are you really a Black Widow?" You asked after a beat of silence. Your eyes stared at Yelena, and your mind was fighting between having someone save you or trying again...

"I was," Yelena answered. You tilted your head. "You're not now?" The blonde shook her head. "It's different... Not like the Black Widow you knew. Not like Natasha."

"You knew Natasha Romanoff?" You asked, a little shocked that this person knew a previous Avenger. She nodded, and her gaze moved away before returning to your eyes. "Why are you up here?"

You shifted away from Yelena.

"Y/n?" She wanted you to look at her. But when you didn't, she nodded to herself and backed a few steps away.

That action made you look up to her.

Was she leaving?

"Just so you know, if I really wanted to, I would've knocked you out already and taken you someplace safe." You looked at the Widow. You believed her. "So why didn't you?"

Yelena sighed. "Not everyone gets a choice sometimes. Sometimes, they think they have it one or the other. But still... I wanted you to choose." You swallowed and nodded lightly. "I would've jumped after you and saved you if you did it... or if you still want to go through with it." Her voice got quiet, and you knew she was serious.

You looked from her and back to the edge of the rooftop. Slowly, your feet started dragging their way. Each step feeling more daunting than the last.

Could you even go through with it?

You stood and carefully looked over the edge. "You're right!" You spoke loudly before turning your head to Yelena. "This would not be a cool way to die." She smiled at you and walked carefully towards you. "Messy." She stated once again.

You knew you wouldn't hop on the ledge now and jump, but that left you wondering what was next...

"Yelena..." You moved your head to your right to look at her, who was already looking at you. "What happens to me now? Do I just go home? Are you going to send me somewhere?"

Yelena shook her head. "No. I'm not." She reassured you even if a small part of her thinks she should. And yes, the irony is not lost on the blonde woman who went on a murderous rampage after she lost her sister.

You nodded. "I don't want to be alone..." You quietly spoke, afraid Yelena would leave you to your own exhausted mind. Yet she shook her head. "I know a place we can go." She carefully moved closer to your side. "Is it okay?" She asked as she lifted her arm over your body.

When you nodded, she placed her arm around you and walked with you to the door to the rooftop.

The two of you didn't talk as you rode the elevator down to the underground parking garage. You didn't speak when Yelena hot-wired a car from the lot. Instead, you sat in the comfortable silence hanging in the air between you. You knew you were safe, and that was just enough right now.

You looked at Yelena's side profile as she drove. Yes, of course, she was downright stunning, but the other part of you was surprised by her calmness to everything happening.

"Have you done this before?" You asked with tenderness in your voice. Yelena looked over at you before looking back to the road. "Done what?"

"Save someone from..." Yelena thought. "Kinda." She answered. "I've saved people, but it's rare. When you can do what I do... you don't do a lot of the saving." Yelena kept her eyes on the road, but you knew a story existed for another time. So you nodded and hummed.

Yelena glanced towards you. "Someone saved me." She said before clearing her throat. You pulled your eyes back to the blonde. "After..." Yelena snapped her fingers. "I was lost like a lot of people. More alone than ever. I went to do something that I thought would make a small part of it all better, but... I was wrong." Yelena glances toward you. "My anger turned into sadness."

You felt for Yelena. "It's better to be sad than angry."

She nods and laughs a little before she not so subtly wipes her eye. "But I'm taking you to the person who saved me. My girlfriend."

"Ouch." You quietly whispered as you looked out and onto the road. Yelena shook her head with a smile at your hushed words. "You're still charming in your own way."

You chuckled and blushed.

A few moments later, Yelena and you pulled up to an apartment above a pizza place. Yelena explained to you that it was her girlfriend's second home—a place to unwind and try to be her authentic self. You nodded as she let you in and laughed when two dogs came to greet you at the door. You couldn't remember the last time you stopped and petted a dog.

However, what happened on the rooftop wasn't even the most shocking part of the evening. No, it was when Yelena's girlfriend stood up to greet you. Because technically, she was your boss and heir to the Bishop's claim.

Kate Bishop smiled and walked towards you.

She was dating the Yelena, The White Widow.

"So, is that why you were on that rooftop tonight?" Yelena nodded, and her eyes gestured at Kate—someone who spoke with their hands and a bandage over their nose.

Was she The Hawkeye you've seen in the papers?

Kate looked at you, and after your initial shock wore off, she smiled wide.

She explained how, for the last few months, she had slowly seen how distant you've become, how you seemed to fall behind on work. Or not even be present. How you stopped being... you.

It hurt Kate as your boss and someone who could be your friend. After talking with Yelena about it over and over the blonde of the pair tracked you on tonight of all nights.

That night, everything changed for the better.

And now, five months later, you're sitting between your best friends.

Now, the question is: how do you tell them about your crush?

dividers by @/benkeibear

[estellan0vella]

Spider Season Older Brother Sukuna AU HFBU

You sit at your desk in the parlour, the comforting hum of tattoo machines and the banter of your friends filling the air. It's supposed to be just another day, but the creeping dread in the back of your mind reminds you that it's spider season. Sukuna is in the middle of inking a client's arm. He glances over at you with a reassuring smile, his eyes softening at your nervous expression.

"Babe, you doing okay?" Sukuna asks, his voice a soothing rumble.

You nod, forcing a smile. "Yeah, just... on edge, you know?"

Gojo is sterilizing his tools nearby. He catches your eye and grimaces. "I swear, if I see another spider, I'm burning this place down."

A rustling noise from behind one of the tattoo chairs causes both you and Gojo to freeze. Your heart pounds as you scan the room for any sign of the eight-legged menace. Suddenly, Gojo lets out a shriek, and you both spot a spider crawling across the floor.

"Spider!" you yell, your voice trembling as you jump onto your desk.

Gojo, in a panic, scrambles onto a chair, almost knocking over his sterilizing equipment. "Not again!"

The parlour erupts into chaos. Sukuna puts down his tattoo gun, rolling his eyes but grinning as he walks over to assess the situation. Geto and Toji rush in from the back room. Megumi, trails behind them, holding a toy sword like he's ready to fight off the invader.

Yuji stands behind you, his small hands clutching the edge of your desk. "Y/N/N, are you okay?" he asks, his big eyes filled with worry.

"I-I'm fine, Yuji. Just stay back," you stammer, trying to keep your fear in check.

Toji approaches the spider with a resigned look. "Gojo, seriously? It's just a spider."

"Just a spider?" Gojo exclaims, still balanced precariously on the chair. "That thing is a monster!"

With a deft move, Toji scoops up the spider with a piece of paper and heads towards the door. "There. Problem solved."

But the next day, things take a turn for the worse. You're in the middle of sketching a new design when you hear an ominous rustling. Your blood runs cold as a spider the size of your head scuttles out from under a nearby cabinet. You scream, dropping your pencil and scrambling onto your desk.

"Help!" you cry, your voice breaking as the spider moves closer.

Yuji, trying to be brave, steps forward but then bolts towards Gojo, who is already screaming on the top of his own desk. "Suku! Help!" Yuji yells, his voice full of fear.

Megumi, ever the little protector, stands in front of Yuji with his toy sword, eyes wide but determined. "Stay back, Yuji."

Toji rushes in at the sound of your scream. His eyes widen when he sees the massive spider. "Holy shit," he mutters, running over to catch you as you leap off the desk in a panic. He catches you effortlessly, holding you close as you cling to him, shaking.

"Fuck no, this is the spider's parlour now," Toji declares, staring at the gigantic spider with a mix of awe and disgust.

Sukuna appears in the doorway, his eyes scanning the scene. He takes in Toji holding you, the giant spider, and the chaos of Gojo and Yuji huddled together. A smirk tugs at his lips, but it quickly turns into a grimace when he sees the size of the spider.

"Holy shit," Sukuna echoes Toji's earlier sentiment. He grabs a rolled-up magazine and strides over. "Alright, everyone, stand back."

Gojo, still perched on his desk with Yuji clinging to his leg, waves his arms frantically. "Sukuna, don't get too close! That thing could probably bench press you!"

Sukuna rolls his eyes but doesn't slow down. "It's a spider, Gojo, not a pro wrestler."

Gojo gestures wildly at the spider. "Have you seen the size of that thing? It's been hitting the gym more than I have!"

With a deep breath, Sukuna takes another step forward, raising the rolled-up magazine. The spider, seemingly sensing danger, scuttles to the side again.

"Come on, it's got spidey senses!" Sukuna mutters.

Gojo groans, throwing his head back. "Just our luck. We get the Spider-Man of spiders."

Toji, still holding you bridal style, chuckles. "At this rate, we might need to call the Avengers."

Sukuna makes another attempt, but the spider evades him again. "This thing is impossible! It's like it's mocking me."

Yuji, peeking out from behind Gojo, pipes up. "Maybe it wants to be friends?"

Gojo shudders. "I don't want to be friends with something that has eight legs and a vendetta."

"I second that," You mutter, gripping Toji's t-shirt tightly.

Toji grins, looking down at you. "Don't worry, I'll keep you safe from our eight-legged nemesis."

Sukuna tries once more, but the spider eludes him again. "Alright, this is getting ridiculous. I'm starting to take this personally."

"Honestly Sukuna, this is getting kind of embarrassing for you," Gojo says.

Sukuna glares at Gojo. "Why don't you come down here and show us how it's done, Mr. Arachnophobia?"

Gojo shakes his head vehemently. "I provide moral support from up here, thank you very much."

Yuji tugs on Gojo's pants, looking up with big eyes. "Gojo, are you scared?"

Gojo leans down, whispering dramatically, "Terrified, Yuji. But don't tell anyone."

Toji laughs, adjusting his grip on you. "Sukuna, maybe you should try talking to it. Ask it nicely to leave."

Sukuna smirks. "Right, because a polite conversation will definitely solve this."

"What if we all tell it to fuck off?" You mutter.

The room bursts into laughter, and even Sukuna can't suppress a grin. "Worth a shot," he says.

Gojo stands a little straighter, still keeping his distance. "On three, we all tell it to fuck off. Ready?"

Yuji nods enthusiastically. "Ready!"

Megumi raises his toy sword. "I'm ready!"

Sukuna rolls his eyes, still smiling. "Alright, let's do this. One, two, three..."

"Fuck off, spider!" everyone shouts in unison.

The spider scuttles towards where Toji is standing with you in his arms, making you shriek. "I'm gonna pass out!" You wail, launching yourself out of Toji's arms and you practically fly across the parlour towards Sukuna.

"Whoa, hold on!" Sukuna exclaims, barely catching you as you cling to him like a lifeline.

The spider continues its chaotic dash across the floor, zigzagging unpredictably. You scramble up Sukuna like he's a tree, wrapping your arms and legs around him to get off the ground. "Kuna, don't let it get me!"

Sukuna, trying to balance you and handle the spider situation, hands Toji the jar. "Here, Toji, take the jar. I've got my hands full."

Toji grabs the jar from Sukuna with a grin. "Sure thing, boss. Looks like you've got a new accessory there."

Sukuna rolls his eyes playfully as he tries to keep you steady. "Yeah, thanks for the reminder, Toji."

Meanwhile, the spider, undeterred by the chaos it's caused, scuttles towards Gojo's desk. Gojo and Yuji, who were perched precariously on the desk to avoid the spider, let out simultaneous yelps and jump off in opposite directions. Gojo hurries towards you and pulls you off of Sukuna before helping you climb onto the counter.

"Y/N/N, Gojo, don't leave me!" Yuji calls, running over to the two of you and you pull him up onto the counter to stand between you.

Toji, holding the jar, watches as it scuttles towards Gojo's desk. He narrows his eyes, shaking his head with determination. "That's it. I've had enough of this." With surprising accuracy, Toji hurls the jar towards the spider. The glass shatters on impact, and the spider is instantly squashed underneath.

"Take that, you eight-legged fucker!" Toji exclaims triumphantly.

"You know," You look at Gojo who's standing next to you. "You're awfully dramatic"

"Says Miss 'Jumping into the arms of strong men'!" Gojo retorts.

You smirk at Gojo's retort, shaking your head. "Oh please, I was just ensuring my survival!"

"If Toji didn't catch you, you'd have been splayed out on the floor as that thing's next meal!" Gojo says, hopping down from the counter before helping Yuji down. "But if you're so brave, I suppose you don't need a helping hand down"

"Yeah, great idea," You say sarcastically. "Leave the epileptic at a height"

"Fuck, you pulled the epilepsy card," Gojo mutters.

"Too fucking right I did, now help me down," You say but Sukuna is already moving your way. "Oh never mind, I have a strong man coming to help me"

"I'm a strong man!" Gojo protests.

"You don't have arms like me," Sukuna says, his hands finding your waist as he lifts you off the counter effortlessly.

You land softly on your feet, giving Sukuna a grateful smile. "Thanks, Kuna. Always saving me."

Sukuna winks. "Anytime, babe. Got to keep my girl safe."

"Are there any more spiders?" Yuji asks.

"I fucking hope not," You mumble.

Gojo looks around dramatically. "If there are, I'm declaring this place cursed and moving to a spider-free zone. Like, Antarctica."

Toji chuckles, shaking his head. "Pretty sure they have spiders there too, Gojo. Just bigger and colder."

"You know, you all need to realise they're more scared of you," Geto chimes in, earning a glare from you and Gojo.

"I did not see the spider screaming from the top of a desk," You huff, casting a glance at Gojo.

"Nor did I see it jumping in the arms of the biggest men who work here," Gojo says, poking back at you.

You roll your eyes. "Hey at least I know how to pick my protectors."

Sukuna grins, wrapping an arm around your waist. "Damn right, baby. I've got you covered."

Gojo smirks, turning to Geto. "Maybe next time I'll jump into your arms. Think you can handle it?"

Geto raises an eyebrow, his lips curling into a mischievous smile. "Only if you promise not to scream until my ears bleed."

Just as the laughter starts to settle, Yuji's voice pierces the air, his tone a mix of thrill and terror. "Look, another spider!"

Megumi's voice joins in, both boys shouting in unison, "Big spider!"

Instantly, you and Gojo exchange a look of pure horror. "Fuck no!" you both scream in chorus, shoving Sukuna and Geto towards the new eight-legged menace before sprinting to the nearest safe haven—the counter.

Clambering up, you and Gojo clutch each other tightly, eyes wide as you survey the scene. Sukuna, Toji, and Geto, still chuckling, turn to look at the boys, then at the spider scurrying across the floor.

"Very brave, aren't you two?" Sukuna calls out, amusement evident in his voice as he watches you and Gojo clinging to each other.

"Shut up and get that fucking spider before I pass out," you yell, your voice edged with panic.

Yuji, initially moving towards the spider with determined curiosity, catches sight of its size and quickly changes his mind, sprinting over to join you and Gojo on the counter. "Scary!" he cries out as he scrambles up beside you. Megumi, fearless and still armed with his toy sword, attempts to chase after the spider, making it dart across the parlour in unpredictable directions, adding to the chaos.

"Go, Megumi, catch it!" Toji cheers, laughing as he watches his son turn the chase into a game.

Geto, calm as ever, finds a broom and begins herding the spider towards the door. "You guys are hopeless," he chuckles, managing the situation with a practiced ease.

Sukuna stands back, still laughing at the scene unfolding. "I should start charging admission for this."

Gojo, clinging to you, mutters, "This is not what I signed up for when I decided to work here. I have to ask you, Y/N, is the dick worth this?"

"I don't know," You mutter and Sukuna playfully glares at you.

As Geto finally manages to sweep the spider out the door, everyone breathes a sigh of relief. Sukuna walks over to you and Gojo still on the counter. "All clear, babe," he says, offering you a hand down.

You reluctantly take his hand, still shaking. "I'm never coming down from here again," you declare, only half-joking.

Gojo nods in agreement. "Yeah, I'm starting a new life up here. Welcome to Counter-topia, population: us."

Sukuna and Geto both laugh as they help you and Gojo down from the counter. Toji walks over with a glass of juice, handing it to you. "Here, drink this. It'll help bring your blood sugar back up."

You take the glass gratefully, sipping the juice. "Thanks, Toji. I think I needed that."

Gojo takes a deep breath, trying to regain his composure. "I never thought a tattoo shop would be so... lively."

Just as everyone starts to relax, Megumi, with a mischievous grin, announces, "There's another spider!"

Your eyes widen in panic, and you clutch Sukuna's arm. "Not again!"

Gojo's face goes pale. "Are you kidding me?"

Megumi giggles, holding up a rubber spider. "Gotcha!"

The room erupts in laughter, but you feel your knees buckle from the stress. Sukuna catches you effortlessly, holding you close. "Easy, baby. It's just a toy."

You take a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart. "Megumi, that wasn't funny. I almost died!"

Toji, trying to suppress his laughter, kneels down to Megumi's level. "Alright, buddy, no more fake spiders. Y/N's had enough excitement for one day."

Megumi pouts but nods. "Okay, Daddy."

Gojo, still a bit shaken, looks at Geto. "Think you can get him a toy snake next time? At least those don’t make me want to climb furniture."

Geto smirks. "I'll see what I can do."

Sukuna helps you sit down, rubbing your back soothingly. "You good, babe?"

You nod, taking another sip of juice. "Yeah, I just need a minute to recover."

Yuji, still excited, runs over and hugs your leg. "You're brave, Y/N/N!"

You smile down at him, ruffling his hair. "Thanks, Yuji. But I think I'll leave the spider fighting to you and Megumi from now on."

Gojo sits beside you, shaking his head. "I swear, if I see one more spider today, I'm moving to a tropical island. Spiders can't swim, right?"

Toji laughs. "I think you'll be safe, Gojo. Let's just focus on getting back to work without any more surprises."

As everyone settles back into their routines, the parlour fills with laughter and the hum of tattoo machines. It's just another day in the life of the shop, where even the most stressful moments are tempered with humour and the unwavering support of your quirky, close-knit family.

taglist - @sad-darksoul @thejujvtsupost @kyo-kyo1

[the-kr8tor]

Can I request Hobie Brown to react to his shy gn crush accidentally sitting on his lap for your fluffy Friday?

Adorable! Thank you for requesting! ❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x gn! Reader/ Spider-Punk x gn! Reader

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, cw food mentions, love struck Hobie, spiderperson! Reader, FLUFF

It's Fluffy Friday! (For real this time lol)

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

You're talking excitedly with Gwen, food tray in your hands, the Miguel burger sways slightly as you bounce on your feet. The can of soda clinks against the plastic tray.

"Oh! You should absolutely not skip season four even if it's dog shit." Walking backwards to face Gwen, she listens intently to your rambling. "How else are you gonna get the references they throw at you in later seasons?" You say with a cheery smile.

"Are you sure? You literally said it was shit" Gwen raises a brow questioningly.

"Duh! So you can compare how shitty it is to season 5" you turn harshly around, not looking where you're going.

"Shit! Watch out!—" Gwen tries to stop you, but it's too late. You hit a bystander waiting for their meal. You're one of the rare spider people who wasn't gifted with enhanced senses. Cursing at your crappy luck.

Your tray hits the poor guy who was unfortunate enough to be in your way. Pasta lands harshly on their red suit, coating it in bright yellow. The bun from the burger sticks to the spandex, replacing the spider logo to Miguel's mask design.

You crane your neck to apologize to the unusually tall Spider-Man, staring in horror at his scaly face, rows of sharp teeth bearing down at you as he growls angrily. His large shadow looms over you. The tray clunks loudly on the tiled floor, acting as a death bell for you.

"I'm so sorry!" You say weakly, trembling in your suit.

The T-rex steps towards you, footsteps rumbling like little earthquakes. You instinctively walk back, eyes trained on the dinosaur, ready to swing away in case he snaps his jaws at you.

"I'm sorry! I'll get it dry cleaned, please don't eat me–" something hits the back of your knees making you fall on something sturdy. "Oof" you let out, Your back hits someone's chest, strong hands over your waist, steadying you. Craning your neck to the left, you're face to face with someone familiar.

"Falling for me now huh, lovey?" Hobie's fave is mere inches away from yours, brown eyes staring at your flustered face.

"I-uh..hmm?" You could only manage to make noise, noticing how warm his palms are against the spandex of your suit.

Hobie smirks at your reaction, turning his head to address the T-rex that's been hunting you. "Hey big man, they said sorry already. We're on the same team, yeah?"

Spider-Rex huffs out, air coming out of his nose. He drops his head down to your height, you cling tighter on Hobie's torso, much to his satisfaction.

The dinosaur nudges your legs with his snout, as if to say: you owe me dry cleaning.

"Just send me the bill" you chuckle nervously.

Spider-rex huffs one more time, hot air hitting you and Hobie, you try to hide your face on his chest, not caring if the pins on his vest poke your skin. Hobie holds the side of your face, shielding you, his head lays on your temple, piercing cold on your skin.

"Alright! They got it!" Gwen steps in between you and your scaly friend, hands on her hips.

Spider-rex finally leaves, the floor shaking as he moves. Gwen clicks her tongue, tapping her foot in annoyance.

"Fuck, you okay?" Hobie ducks his head to meet your gaze. Fingers fixing your unruly brows that must've ruffled it when the dinosaur huffed and puffed. "He's all bark and no bite. Don't worry he doesn't eat fellow spider-people, usually" he says softly while he rubs your arms comfortably.

"Usually?" You ask in a small voice, slowly realizing you're sitting on his lap. Quite comfortably if you dare add.

He chuckles, "You planning on staying here? I don't mind" Hobie plays it off as he pokes your side.

"Right, sorry" practically jumping off his lap, feet landing back on solid ground, your shyness taking over. "Was I crushing you?" You ask softly.

"Nah," he reassures you. "Come sit down with me" Hobie scooches over, giving you space to sit right next to him.

Gwen drops her tray on the table, clicking her tongue. "I'll get something for you to eat, okay" she pats your shoulder. You nod appreciatively. "Play nice, Hobie" Gwen points an accusing finger at Hobie. "Be right back"

"I'm always nice, Gwendy" He raises his hands in surrender. Hobie notices your apprehension, he gestures for you to sit down across from him this time, as to not make you uncomfortable.

You bravely choose the seat next to him, surprising you both. He smiles when you slide next to him. Your spine is unnaturally straight, muscle tensed. Bashfulness at the forefront.

Hobie wants you to relax so he decides to wordlessly offer you his tray of food. "Wanna share mine?"

A soft smile curls around your lips, affection blooming in your chest. "You sure?"

"Yeah, only if it's with you" Hobie's eyes are soft, gazing at you longingly.

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

Thank you for reading! Please consider reblogging if you enjoyed it ❤️

[drjohndisco]

Title: When You Wish Upon a Star

Dynamic: Basil and Rogue

Warnings: Swearing, a minor doomsday (doctor who s2e13) reference, a singular shitty twilight (2007) reference, wish world (doctor who s2e8) spoilers, bad flirting.

Summary: As the realities begin to collapse Basil finds himself pulled somewhere he doesn't expect.

Notes: Full disclosure: I wrote this out of gay spite in my notes app over a week and finished it just before reality war aired (so, on the 31st May.) It may (or may not) make sense.

[Ao3 Link]

Watching despairingly as the image of The Doctor vanished, Rogue sighed deeply and ran a hand through his hair.

He hadn't even gotten to finish his sentence, the one thing he'd been wanting to say for months (years?), and now he was going to die here, exhausted and alone.

He never should have trusted that faulty dimensional window (or the half dead sun that the planet was stuck in a decaying orbit around.)

Fuck! I wish I had a way off this rock!

Suddenly -- as if the universe had heard his thoughts -- there was a flash of light and a figure fell from the sky in front of him.

.....Is that?

No, it couldn't be.

Could it?

'Ow! Sonofabitch that hurt!'

Well, that does sound like him. I'd never be able to mistake the accent for anything else.

(What is a New Zealand, anyway?)

'Basil? Is that you?’ Rogue asked, bemused.

‘Well, yeah, who else would I be?’ Basil muttered, picking himself up and brushing his clothes down.

Then -- as if he'd just been struck by the mavity of the situation (and who exactly he was speaking to) -- Basil blinked incredulously at him.

‘Rogue, I know you're an attractive man, but this is taking the meaning of 'hot' a bit too literally, isn't it?’

Is he… hitting on me?

Today sure is turning out to be something.

‘I-

‘Sorry! I didn’t mean to say that out loud.’ Basil apologized, mercifully interrupting whatever Rogue may have been about to say. ‘My brain’s still a bit messy from the jump. My words might be a bit everywhere for a while….. although, now that I've said that, I suppose that’s not different from usual at all. Oops.’

'How exactly did you get here?'

'You made a wish, didn't you?'

'Yes, but I don't see what that's got to do with anything?’

'I suppose I'm a wishing star, guiding light, whatever you prefer.....' Basil explained, shrugging. 'You called, and I came. I’m here to help!’

Confused by this, Rogue wrinkled his eyebrows. However, before he could ask Basil any clarifying questions, a loud screech rang out from somewhere nearby.

'I take it we should hurry?'

'Yeah, we don't have much time. Everything's falling to pieces.'

'That has been happening a lot today it seems.' Basil mused, before extending a hand to Rogue. 'May I?'

Rogue nodded, and took Basil's hand almost tentatively.

His hands are a lot colder than I thought they would be. I wonder why?

Then, unexpectedly, an electrical current passed through his fingertips.

'Ow!'

'Oops! Sorry about that.' Basil said, wincing. 'It was probably feedback from the dimensional shunt. Now, hold on tight, spider-monkey!'

'Huh?'

'Don't worry about it. Terrible pop culture reference.'

Then, with another flash and a small pop, they were gone -- leaving the slowly crumbling pocket dimension far behind.

[devotedlykoneshots]

BANGCHAN DRABBLE

Genre: 🔞, minors DNI, hyunjins little sister plot, nothing too wild

Word count: 1025

---------

"There was a spider in my room and yes, you rescued it by putting it outside, but I still won’t sleep in that room tonight"you say as you stand your ground and the older male raises an eyebrow at you, leaning against his doorway.

"So can I sleep in your room?" You asked sheepishly and he's even more shocked now, first at your boldness and then at your shyness.

Second at the question.

"I don't think your brother will like that"bangchan says and you groan softly, rubbing your temples.

"Well, I'm too tired to care, so scoot over"you tell him as you barge into his room and pulled his covers back, prepared to kick his ass over if you had to.

He scoots over and you crawl into the bed, getting under the cover and letting out a sigh.

"Better?"he asked still watching you and you nodded, secretly sniffing his covers and you were right.

It smelled like him.

"Goodnight"he called out to you and turned off the light, the next time he turns it on is later in the night.

Your sleeping frame cuddled up to his larger one.

"Y/n"he shakes you awake and you jumped back from him upon seeing how close you were.

"Oh my god"you placed a hand on your heart and tried to calm down.

"Sorry, I cuddle in my sleep"you frown and apologize.

"It's okay, I was just shocked"he said, grabbing your waist and pulling you closer again.

You hesitantly place your hand on his chest and close your eyes again, you both falling asleep.

You wake up the next time, it's now morning and arms are wrapped around your waist, chan is cuddling you from behind.

You can also feel something poking your back and you turn onto your back, looking over at him as his arms pull you closer and the poking is now touching your thigh.

He sucks in a breath as your movement grazes his boner and you bite your bottom lip.

"Don't move"he whispers and your eyes lift to see his staring back at you.

"Do you have a boner?"you whispered and he immediately denies said allegations.

"Definitely not"he said and you raised your eyebrows at him.

"I'm serious"you tell him and he huffs, biting his bottom lip before admitting the truth.

"Yes, I do"he said.

"Oh my god"you cover your face and he rolls his eyes, you're definitely hyunjins sister.

"Don't be dramatic, it doesn't mean I was having a wet dream or anything" he starts and you remove your hands as you look at him.

"It just happens and I don't have control over it"he continues, yeah this wasn't how he expected his night to go.

"How do you usually get rid of it?"you asked and you can feel it twitch against your side, you bite your bottom lip.

"I jerk off but I'm usually alone when that happens"he said and you look at him in the eyes , getting up wasn't an option.

"I'll turn around and you can do it in peace"you said and he nodded in agreement.

"Okay"he said and you turned around , trying not to pay attention to the sound of his cock hitting his stomach and definitely not the sound of him fucking into his fist.

"Fuck"he whispered and you squeezed your legs closed , biting your bottom lip and trying to ignore the sounds he was trying to keep inside but unfortunately couldn't.

"What?"you sit up after he gasps and look at him , about to tell him you couldn't do it but you caught a glimpse of his cock before he covers himself up.

"Oh my god"

"Y/n" he whisper/shouts as he saw you sitting up and covering himself with his hands.

"What are you doing?"he hissed and you sit up on your hands and knees.

"Let me help you, you're taking forever" you offer and he gulps, you bite your bottom lip waiting for him to answer.

"Hurry"is all he said before he moved his hands, you take his cock in your hands and stroke his cock slowly.

"I had no idea you were this big"you're still amazed and he chuckles, watching you lean down and kitten lick his tip as his hips buck into your hand.

"Fuck , oh shit"you take his cock into your mouth and start to bobb your head as he moans softly, he immediately throws the cover over your head as he hears the door knob twist and you bobb your head faster.

His head is thrown back as hyunjin enters.

"Hey chan-" he's instantly met with the image of chan getting blowed by an unknown figure.

"Fuck"Chan cries out weakly as you hallow your cheeks and take more of him in your mouth, gagging around his thick length but you don't mind.

"I'll come back later"your brother is quick to exit as soon as he arrived.

"Oh my god, that was hyunjin"you pull yourself off of Chan and the covers from over your head.

"He didn't notice, open up for me"he taps his cock against your lips and you do as he says, getting back to work as you stroke what couldn't fit in your mouth.

"Fucking hell"he groans softly and throws his head back as he lets you suck on his cock, cheeks hallowing around his length and  your free hand squeezing at his balls.

"I'm gonna cum baby"you're not sure if he even realizes what he just said but nonetheless it urges you to move onto your knees , taking him deeper in your mouth as you deepthroat his cock.

"Fuck , that's it. So fucking good"you hum softly at his words and bobb your head faster, his hips starting to buck into your mouth as he got closer to his climax.

"I'm cumming"he groans deeply and grips your hair, holding you down onto his cock as he thrusts into your mouth faster, a strained whimper leaving his lips as he cums into your mouth.

[otaku-dragon-lover]

I shouldn't be posting on this so much but fuck it.

I've seen some post asking why tf it's another "people from our world enter the game" plot, and while I completely understand this sentiment, I've got a bigger bone to pick with this atrocity.

Why isn't it an animated movie?!

The only reason I can think of for why WB isn't making this an animated movie is simple: the FNAF movie's success.

Now, I'm not blaming the FNAF movie for anything here. It seems like (I haven't seen the damn thing but I have seen the fandom's reaction to it) a genuine love letter to the games and the community that helped build it up, the Matpat cameo is a prime example of that. It's also probably the best thing to come from the series as of late, buuuut that's just my opinion.

Anyway, the FNAF movie used mostly practical effects to depict it's antagonists (something I will forever love them for), with the film itself being live action. But! This makes sense to do because FNAF is (or at least was until it jumped the shark) supposed to be set in the real world, just with haunted animatronics. This isn't the case with Minecraft, it's a world with magic. Skeletons, zombies, giant spiders, walking penis monsters that explode, fucking dragons! At no point would anyone look at this world and think, "yeah, making this a live action movie makes sense". At least, no one with half a brain anyway.

The art style of the two games helps with this too; one has a very realistic style to their characters, while the other is very cartoon-y.

So, what am I getting at here? Why am I even bringing this up at all?

To be honest, I'm just tired of these massive companies clout chasing, because that's what this is. Creative ideas are dying in the writing room for this… utterly boring and overused trite.

This is coming from someone who loves the isekai genre btw.

Animation is getting more and more overlooked by the day, and this is what gets greenlit? Fucking hell.

[tokiwarcube]

Can you do one where the boys react to their s/o who really likes spiders that has one as a pet?

Ooo, for sure!! I'm actually a spider enjoyer myself, so this was a fun one to work on! I desperately want one as well, but with how much I've been traveling for my job + education (and my concerted lack of fellow spider-lovers in my life), it just wouldn't be feasible. Wasn't sure what kind you've got, so it's pretty broad (although I'd love to hear about your little guy!) Regardless, below the cut -- enjoy! 🕸️🖤🕸️

Nathan Explosion

Brutal.

He’s not afraid of spiders, but he does have a very typical view of them. All long legs and venomous fangs, he thinks the fact that you keep them as pets is fucking awesome. Doesn’t matter if it’s a harmless little jumping spider or an OBT — he thinks your little guy is brutal.

He likes to watch them feed— it’s sweet, he does a little subconscious, congratulatory nod when they grab their snack. Nice.

Although despite his fascination with them, he’s not too likely to accept any offers hold them himself (assuming they’re of a size and temperament to be held). Hearing you talk about them and how fragile they actually are, he’s terrified of moving wrong and dropping them, or otherwise causing harm, you know? Big guy, little animal. But cup his hands with yours a bit as you guide them onto his hand, and he might ease into it a bit.

On the rare occasion he has to take care of them in your absence, he absolutely talks to them. And he totally sends you blurry, out of focus photos of your spider completely missing the insect he put in their enclosure, and God, you can feel his exasperation through the screen.

“Your child forgot how to eat.” “Our child, you mean.”

And let’s just say that your little one is quite the source of inspiration… Castratikron II came very naturally after learning about how they were first brought into the world. Tell him some more spider facts while you’re at it — if you get them to him at the right time, you might have an arachnid-themed album soon enough.

Pickles the Drummer

He doesn’t mind spiders — he’s pretty indifferent to them, honestly. His mother was terrified of them though — Calvert never cared enough to get up off his ass to help, and Seth seemed to follow suit, so Pickles was usually the one handling them when they would skitter into the house. (Not that this netted any bonus points with the family, mind you.) So when you tell him you've got your own little eight-legged friend, there’s a twinge of respect.

Although beyond that, he’s again, pretty indifferent. He’ll sit with you when you upkeep their enclosure and feed them, watching curiously — although I will admit, he flinches hard if they strike at your forceps, or run away unexpectedly. You can laugh at him, it’s okay.

He refuses to hold them though — doesn’t matter how handle-able they are. He knows he’s way too shaky just as a person, and with how fragile they are… Yeah, he’s not risking it.

Stresses hardcore if he ever has to take care of them in your absence, but that’s just because he has anxiety more than anything else. He 100% talks to them when he has to go into their enclosure to change water or leave food — it’s more pleading than anything else though. They seem to sense his anxiety, and like to give him a hard time because of it. And if he sees them in a molt? Panic. Expect a million and a half texts asking if he’s doing anything wrong. (He never is, they’re literally always fine —he’s just nervous. He knows you love them, and he wants to make sure he’s not fucking anything up.)

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

Listen — I say this as a devout spider lover AND Skwisgaar lover. But it does take him a little while to warm up to your little one. He’s not arachnophobic, mind you — it’s just such a cultural phenomenon, you know? Hard not to absorb those thoughts when they’re all you ever hear about an animal. But I think that with a bit of time and education, he could easily fall in love with them just as hard as you have! They’re very elegant creatures, no?

He looks at them with curiosity when you go in to upkeep their enclosure, and over time that look of disgust grows into something more fond. Eventually you catch him looking at them when you’re not around, just watching them exist. Their little legs, reaching forward to pull themselves along — precise. Calculated. And isn’t it fascinating, the way they exist in their own little world? So different from our own? Everything is connected in life, and yet, their little eyes only see so much.

This is all to say: He grows to like them quite a lot! He’ll take up your offer to hold the little guy eventually (assuming they’re handle-able,) keeping his hands steady and low to the table. He’s very careful with them, and after his first successful handling, he secretly becomes very eager for the next time you offer.

He still dogs on them though, as he would with any pet.

“Your idiot childs ams never going to makes it through the winters,” he says, watching them strike at their water bowl. “They could never survive in the wilds.”

You sigh. He isn’t wrong, unfortunately.

Arguably the most normal about things in the event that he has to take care of them in your absence. He does scold them for doing stupid shit as well. Truly, he fills the role of spider dad better than you could have ever hoped for.

Play your cards right, and you might find him looking for a little one of his own... I'm just saying, he would do well with a pretty little orb weaver of some sorts. Those delicate little movements and intricate webs just scream Skwis.

Toki Wartooth

Skwisgaar’s hesitance has unfortunately rubbed off on Toki, but once you start talking about how much you love them? He flips pretty quickly! The species doesn’t really matter to him — big or small, they’re all really cools! Although he is very partial to the little guys — jumping spiders of all kinds are favorites of Toki’s! Although he is also very enamored with little web-weavers, too.

He likes to watch them move around, just marveling at the way they exist. Can you imagine moving that many legs at once? Wowee! Or watching them groom? Drinking water? Cool! It’s honestly really cute how excited he gets when they come out into view. He gets a bit startled if he watches a bigger species rear up or strike, but it’s more reflexive than anything else — Brutal!

He also takes up the offer to hold your little one pretty quickly (assuming they’re handle-able). Although despite him being a bit closer to the little guys emotionally, he does better with handling the bigger ones. He’s less nervous about dropping or squishing them, since they’re so big and slow. He drops his voice real low as you coax them onto his cupped hands, remembering to stay low to the table, and whispers out a soft exclamation of excitement when they still.

His social media is flooded with photos of your little dude, taken any time they venture out into open view. You find that after he starts gushing about them online, the world becomes a bit more spider-friendly.

William Murderface

He thinks that your love for spiders is fucking badass, and will absolutely brag about you to others at any given moment. And perhaps he embellishes how cool they actually are (last time you checked they were not two feet long with an instantaneously lethal bite, but hey, you could double check that again), but you know that’s just his way of saying he loves you and the little dude. Secretly he is a bit nervous around them at first, but he will never tell you that. And over time he warms up until he starts to wonder why he was ever even scared in the first place!

He likes to listen to you talk about them — he honestly doesn’t know much about spiders as a whole, and thus will happily absorb information you have to offer.

He thinks any species you own is a cool one, but he’s most partial to the bigger ones — particularly tarantulas. And oddly enough, he likes the more “plain” looking spiders — shades of black, brown, and grey call to him the most. It’s less about their perceived danger and more about the fact that he likes the the fact that they don’t need to be shiny or pretty to be loved.

He talks big game, but he’s actually pretty to nervous to hold your little one. He’s not afraid of them, but he’s terrified of fucking something up.

He threatens your more spider-wary peers with your little dude often. Please smack him over the head, we’ve got too many arachnophobes as is, we don’t need to make things worse.

[dr-spectre]

You mentioned something about Splatoon 4 thoughts earlier today, and I really wanna hear you ramble about that. But I also really wanna listen to you ramble about a Hypno Callie rewrite lmao. So if you haven't already, since there's a good chance I missed it lol, what would a Spectre Hypno Callie rewrite look like?

OH DUDE NOW YOU'RE GETTING ME ALL PUMPED UP TEHEHEHEHE! ITS TIME FOR ME TO RAMBLE!!! Imma go ultra autism on you!!! It's gonna border on fanfiction territory! (Not the creepy or romantic kind...) Don't say that I didn't warn you...

Splatoon 4 Ideas.

Now here's the thing right. I only have a few ideas on a Splatoon 4 so I don't think I can do a giant ramble about it yet. But so far I got the idea of Splatoon 4 taking place in a giant futuristic city near the beach. So you get this cool plaza area near the beach and I got that idea from the AMAZING Project Splatoon 3. Seriously go check that out, it is amazing!!!!!!!

But you can also go into the city and explore some of it. And you can ride a bike to different shops and have your own apartment!!! I know people want apartments for the next game and yeah I agree. We NEED an apartment maker, it's the next logical step from lockers!

Also for weapons... I would LOVE to have a flamethrower weapon but instead of fire it's mist. A crank operated shooter made out of bike gears where you gotta keep spamming the ZR button, kind of like the Octoshower's weapon. A Wii Zapper charger!!! PLEASE NINTENDO! A saw blade Splatana. Maybe a pool noodle Inkbrush? That would be funny. Maybe a Painbrush that has a fan on it? Man... I'm starting to sound like Sheldon HAHAHA!

For the new Idols, it would be a duo instead of a 3 Idol group because oh my god 3 team Splatfests are so unbalanced sometimes. They would have the colors red and cyan. I don't have much on what they would look like, but I imagine one of them is a female Inkling with a cyan color and the other is a male octoling with a red color. It's time we have a proper God damn male Idol that isn't a giant manta ray!!! Now since I cannot draw for shit and I don't have the desire to draw (drawing has made me so angry so multiple times so I stick to writing and rambling) so I'll just show some pics to show you what kind of vibe I'm going for.

(Yes I'm not fucking joking. I've gotten inspiration from Silver the Hedgehog and Spider-Punk...)

I think it would be an interesting dynamic to have a fancy, highly teched out character paired up with a grungy and punk character who's loud and funny. I can imagine their music to be futuristic and techno while including segments of rock. Basically techno rock with romantic elements in it.

I would like some quality of life improvements and just general improvements as well, like being able to customize EVERY part of your look without having to go through that annoying character creation menu in the crater. Faster levelling up for abilities, ability drinks and food actually giving you which ability you want instead of a chance at it. Way more pants and a pants shop. WAY MORE hairstyles, eye colors with an option to select from a color wheel, eyebrows, scar and tattoo options too with a new tattoo vendor. (the tattoos are explained in game to be temporary ones even though they secretly aren't, to make sure parents don't get the wrong idea lmao)

Maybe some gameplay tweaks too? like including very slight momentum when going downhill? It has to be very slight though for balance. I would like to add a dolphin dive like mechanic where if you press the jump button in the air in your swimming form, you'll quickly stomp to the ground, and that speed will be carried over when swimming in ink for a little while. Maybe faster horizontal wall swimming too? Basically make the gameplay a little bit faster is all I'm trying to say, Splatoon doesn't need a giant gameplay overhaul, just small tweaks to make the last game seem worse to play lmao.

And of course, BETTER SERVERS! WE NEED DEDICATED SERVERS! NOW!!!!!!!!!!! EVEN IF ITS JUST A FEW IT'LL BE SOOOOOO HELPFUL! STOP BEING STUPID NINTENDO! GOD!

Um... anyways!

Now, in terms of story.... I would have 3 parts, one is the main campaign while the other two are DLC. The main campaign is focused on the Salmonids. You play as a new agent (Agent X or something, i think that's a cool name) as you explore these islands Super Mario 64 style where you do missions and try and stop the Salmonids from getting out of control as they gone on a rampage from an unknown cause. You have to complete enough missions on an island to go to the next.

Basically, think of Salmon Run maps and areas found in Mario games but they are WAY LARGER and more complex areas to go through with NPCs to talk to. I really want Splatoon 4 to expand on the concepts found in the hub worlds in Alterna and go fully into a 3D Mario sandbox style game.

You also have to team up with Frye, Big Man, Neo Agent 3 and Marie who join up with a new cast of characters who are in charge of guiding you to new islands (haven't thought much about what these characters are) to figure out what's going on. Callie doesn't appear in the story as it's explained in a Sunken Scroll that Callie is helping Octavio figure out what to do with the Fuzzy Octarians that are still trapped in Alterna. And yes Octavio has now fully joined the New Squidbeak Splatoon which Callie is very ecstatic about.

Cuttlefish is fully retired and doesn't appear, and Captain is taking a break from captain duties, leaving Marie to watch over Frye and Big Man as she is their boss anyways. Now, where is Shiver in all this? Well... here me out... she's the villain. And no she doesn't have any sort of bullshit evil headgear on. She's a villain due to being corrupted by greed and wanting more power. She has become addicted to the high she gets from winning and feeling powerful and has teamed up with the Salmonids to gain even more power and cash. She's been fully consumed by power and cash and Frye and Big Man are not on board with her plans as Shiver doesn't wanna give back to the people in Splatsville anymore. So Shiver leaves the group and gathers up the Salmonids and commands them.

However it's revealed that Shiver is doing these things because she had a bad family upbringing in her clan and was always talked down to and treated as weak. So all that trauma and resentment is finally on the surface and Shiver is lashing out at everyone because her pain is so much for her. There could be some themes about found families and healing trauma with the people that you love and stuff like that. Haven't thought too deeply about it. But I would really love to see Deep Cut forgive Shiver and just hug and cry it out. I'll cry alongside them lol.

Now, the second story is focused on the Squid Sisters and takes place before the events of the main campaign. You play as Agent 4 and Callie finds you lying on the floor and tells you that Inkopolis Plaza has been covered in a strange fog and a weird green substance that looks like gooey moss. The buildings have changed and there's all this weird plant life and dust everywhere. Callie escorts you to the tower found in Inkopolis Plaza to figure out where Marie went and that's where you meet Octavio who got shot down in his mech from a laser.

The three go inside and the building looks very similar to the aesthetics of Side Order but with a hospital liminal space edge to it. It looks like a twisted dream hospital environment with a giant lobby in the middle.

This kind of vibe but more open and less hallway like. It should invoke the feeling of going to a hospital as a kid.

However, instead of an elevator to go higher, it's a giant spiraling staircase that grows after each floor Agent 4 completes. Basically the gameplay is the same as the rogue like gameplay found in Side Order but its heavily expanded upon with new enemies, objectives, color chips, etc. However... during the first 12 floors you hear these weird whispers and voices that sound very similar to Marie's voice.... Callie says she's getting major Deja Vu, and then Marie's voice is fully clear and echoes throughout the building, telling Callie in specific to leave her alone and to get out of here. They don't listen and continue forward.

When you reach the 12th floor, you go inside a giant white chamber and you see Marie in a new outfit that's similar to this outfit found in the Splatoon 2 artbook. Basically this but with a cool cloak and squid tentacle patterns on it and a gas mask instead of shades.

She's standing on some kind of green gooey moss and looks angry. Marie attacks Agent 4 with her charger and its a stealth boss where you gotta sneak around and get up to Marie and knock her down from the moss pile. Evil Marie has always been a beloved fan concept in the community, like Hypno Marie has so many cool fan designs out there and i think that could work honestly.

Callie manages to knock the mask off of Marie with a splat bomb but she's still angry. Callie grabs onto Marie and Marie calms down and cries. Agent 4 looks at the gas mask and its just filled with regular oxygen, nothing special about it. No hypnosis gas or anything. Just regular oxygen... Marie says she's sorry and explains that stuff from her past is catching up to her and making her unwell (you can guess on what I'm referring to wink wink.) She was unable to sleep for several days and was being manipulated by someone...

The thing behind Marie's manipulation appears from the ceiling and it's this giant white metallic squid that has transparent glass on some of it's body and arms, which shows this bright green goo flowing inside it. (think of Overlorder but he's a squid). I don't have a lot of information for this guy but this villain was created to cure Fuzzy Octarians, but due to unknown circumstances it went out of control and its coding was changed to "heal" people's pain by covering the planet in a modified and twisted version of Marie's low tide ink which now has evolved to be very similar to plant life. This goo/ink neutralizes certain parts of the brain, leaving the victim completely unfeeling and depressed, unable to feel anything, even physical touch or sensation. The villain manipulated Marie by going inside her head, analyzing her memories and telling her that all she has to is to get rid of "the intruders" and he will "heal her pain."

After the Marie boss fight, you have to travel up to 40 floors instead of 30 and during the downtime you get to learn about the Squid Sisters. Stuff like Callie and Marie before they blew up, who came up with their outfits, more info about their parents and managers, Marie talking about how she has trauma and nightmares from the events of Splatoon 2 and is terrified that one day Callie may leave and never come back again, Callie diving into her time in the Octo Canyon and finally clearing up what happened to her, Octavio showing remorse and sorrow for the actions he has done over the past 100 years. Basically Side Order but with the Squid Sisters, Octavio and Agent 4. I know it's a lot like Side Order but Side Order is so damn good so why not do it again but improve upon the gameplay you know?

That's all I got for this story and it's probably gonna change and be tweaked over time.

Now for the third story of Splatoon 4. I barely have anything for this but it will star the new Idol duo of the game, Off the Hook, Eight and Captain. I think it'll be like Octo Expansion in terms of gameplay and difficulty, but also expanded and longer to complete.

OKAY! NO MORE SPLATOON 4! TIME TO TALK ABOUT HYPNO CALLIE!

Hypno Callie Rewrite.

Honestly, the way I would go about rewriting Hypno Callie is very simple... Remove the Hypnoshades. That's it. She can still have them as an aesthetic part of her outfit, but i would make it so Callie is no longer hypnotized and it's WAY MORE clear to the audience that Callie is suffering from mental illness and that she left with the Octarians, not "kidnapped, overpowered and brainwashed into being a mind controlled slave." Splatoon 2 was always about the separation of the Squid Sisters and their eventual healing and reunion, it was always gonna be about that but due to time constraints probably, they rushed it and introduced bullshit shades to make it easier and simpler, they then tried to fix it later with an obscure post with a relationship chart that no one even fucking talks about, even timeline explainers fail to fucking mention it... ugh...

Making Callie an actual antagonist that has been manipulated by Octavio, whispering to her and playing into her insecurities and pain is way more compelling and makes more sense for Octavio to do as a character. Like how the fuck did he come up with the Hypnoshades and why did he only use it on Callie? He can just make hypnosis tech out of nowhere? Huh? It makes way more sense for Octavio to just manipulate her as he is a master of words and propaganda.

So what I would do is introduce a new mandatory collectable in the Splatoon 2 Hero Mode called "Callie's diary." At certain moments in the campaign Agent 4 and Marie find pages from Callie's diary as she explains her feelings and pain from being overworked and feeling some resentment as Marie has stopped calling or texting her. Marie looks so ashamed and disappointed and starts blaming herself for Callie's disappearance. Some of the diary entries include the photos found in Sunken Scrolls 21 and 22. The last diary entry found in Sector 4 is an emotional rant from Callie the day she went missing. She rants about how she can't take working anymore and how she's so lonely. Her last line is "if no one truly cares for me up here... Then... Maybe..." And there's a small tear stain at the bottom of the page.

Now for the final boss, the main plot points would occur sorta the same way, you fight Octavio and Callie, after a bit Marie comes in and shoots her in the eye, Callie calms down, blah blah blah. I actually really do like the idea of the "low tide ink" that the English translation team introduced. I think it's a neat idea that Marie has this special ink that calms someone down so I'll keep that for the rewrite.

However, during the final boss, i would make it to where Marie is really trying to reach to Callie and trying to convince her that she is loved and she matters, she tries to apologize for her actions and explains that Octavio is just manipulating her for the Octarians' goals. Callie fights back and doesn't wanna listen to her, constantly trying to shut her down. Marie even reminds Callie of their childhood and it almost gets to Callie, but she becomes more emotional and angry, she's so confused because deep down she knows Marie is right, but she's so scared to listen to her because she doesn't want to get abandoned again.

However what really gets to Callie is Marie collapsing on her knees and crying, just begging her badly to come back to her. And Marie says "I love you...." Callie is in shock and starts getting flashes of good memories with her and Marie. She holds the shades in her hands and destroys them. Callie leaps into the air and collides into Marie's arms, and they cry their eyes out and say sorry to each other.

The battle plays out the same but i would like to add another cutscene after Octavio gets his shit kicked in, Callie and Marie are on Sheldon's van and they look at the sunset together. I think that would be really sweet and connect beautifully with the credits and Fresh Start.

I took a lot of inspiration from the game Marvel's Spider-Man 2 and two boss fights in particular. The Miles vs. Peter fight, and the Spider-Man vs. Scream/MJ fight. In those boss fights, it's sort of like a therapy session for the characters in that the people under the symbiote are venting about their issues and expressing their anger they have kept hidden for so long, and the person on the other side is trying desperately to reach for them and save them from themselves. It's really powerful shit honestly and it made me feel emotional seeing Peter go "ALL I WANTED WAS TO SAVE EVERYONE! MJ! MAY! NOW THE CITY THINKS I'M THE PROBLEM! you think I'm the problem." Like i know it's kind of crazy to take inspiration from a game made for adults and take some of it into Splatoon but... I really don't give a shit. Children's media can show powerful scenes of characters struggling with their inner demons. They can do it and have proven to be successful. Children can handle it, they can.

Now... i have worked on a Splatoon 2 finale rewrite and I'm pretty much almost done with it, i need to finish the last bit of it and then go over it again so I'm fully happy with it. However i don't know how to present it as it's in the form of a script and idk how that's gonna work on tumblr, i mean i could put it on AO3 but idk if i wanna make an account just to post one thing on there and idk how many scripts get posted onto AO3 anyways...

It's like I'm a chef and I'm cooking something, but there's no waiter to deliver the food lmao.

ANYWAYS! Thank you for reading my autistic ass ramblings! I got so much free time that i just so much of it just writing down fan concepts for things on different games and stuff (I have a 42 page and counting document on a potential Sonic Frontiers 2.) Yeah... I got THAT kind of autism, not the maths and science one... Again, thank you for reading!