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#anyway I’ll probably be sleeping when this gets posted
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WELL HELL THEY’RE GAYYY
In context, for real, seriously, Kallus being Fulcrum was like a “oh cool, as I knew” cause meeting that Lasat was the turning point for his life.
Zero Hour absolutely 10000/10. What the hell kinda finale did I just watched. It doesn’t dwarf S2 in my book, but it’s so damn good.
But I genuinely don’t know what it was, in the last half of the third season with like, Through Imperial Eyes, I don’t know, he just catches my eyes more?
It’s not like how I felt when I saw Zeb, considering I knew his character from when I watched S1-scattered S2 as a kid, and already had him tagged as a favorite simply because of how expressive he was (and ears/the cat base for his species)
But Kallus, it was weird. Like, I genuinely hated his hair with a passion throughout the early seasons, and being an Imp, it was kinda like, oh I dislike him, he’s just gonna be another one of those weekly villains to them. Which he was for a bit!!
I’d never seen The Honorable Ones before, but it changed my freaking life when I did. The mercy that Zeb grants (with the condition of wanting a fair fight, which sure, his morals aren’t quite in it for killing an unarmed, injured, kinda hot, man), the trust, if grudgingly, that slowly builds between them due to their circumstances, and bleeds out of their circumstances to each other. Trusting each other, enough for them to trust sleeping around each other. Enough for Zeb to offer him a place with the Rebellion.
And the cracks in Kallus’ beliefs grow further, and he turns from the Empire almost immediately after Bahryn.
I’d like to think that Kallus never truly enjoyed any of the work he did for the Empire. He’s described as being surprisingly compassionate for an Imperial. That’s evident in his actions that differ from his fellow officers. While he is ruthless in pursuit, he isn’t amoral or heartless.
I also think it begins as a truth, I’m sensing some childhood trauma here too, but a truth that he thinks he needs to be this cruel and merciless to survive in the world. But that gradually gets worn down by his moral compass and his values changing. I think they were already deteriorated but Bahryn was the tipping point for him. And he’s risking everything he’s worked for, for the Rebellion (just the Lasat, but we don’t need to know that. .)
I feel like he harbors a ton of guilt for his actions, especially after he’s joined the Rebellion and is surrounded by people he tried to kill not long ago. Do I want that to be explored in S4? Yes. Will it? Probably not. But fanfiction has my back.
I don’t remember what the original point of this post was anymore other than a “here are my feelings and thoughts because nobody asked”
I see the Hot Kallus thing now tho. Looked pretty cool beat up and bloody. The stray hair works wonders :^
Anyways, was the teeniest bit disappointed that Kallus and Zeb didn’t talk directly in the finale, but it’s given me ideas for little fill in fics that have most definitely been done before but I’ll still write probably.
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physalian · 3 days
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So, I’ve written posts utterly baffled by writers who think tackling the intimate nuances and complexities of minorities/ disabilities/ neurodivergences that they don’t have based on ego and research is just easy and no one will notice. But like… there aren’t rules for any of these demographics. All aces don’t think the same way, that’s why there’s like 20 different specific labels under the ace/demi umbrella.
But the reason I don’t think anyone can get by on research alone if this character’s quirk (for simplicity’s sake) is the whole plot and their defining feature is this: There is no ‘default’ person and the 50s-esque model citizen was a caricature. Odds are somebody isn’t “perfectly normal” just with one little outlier trait. We’re all different mixes and blends so saying “I’m gonna write a gay dude, I read this one blog by a gay dude and I’m an expert” is just. No.
This is also assuming that it’s realistic for your character to be absolutely certain about themselves and can diagnose or label themselves with medical accuracy. We’re all just vibin’, you know? Some might, and kudos to them, still wierd to so confidently write something you researched like cramming the night before a final.
Like, if you tell me you wrote an ace, and you yourself are straight or simply not ace and have no ace friends or relatives and just thought it would be cool, but your book is an intense deep-dive into asexuality, I’d bet very good money that it is not, in fact, a deep dive into asexuality, just your extrapolation based on a modicum of research and your own biases.
You’re missing out on so much personal context. I’m ace. Also, possibly aro? But also unofficially diagnosed as autistic and I can’t get a real diagnosis because reasons. And everyone is different so I don’t know where the boundary lies between “this is an autistic thing” and “this is an ace thing” and “this is an aro” thing. You, intrepid author, can’t expect to articulate that if a real person living with it can’t.
You can’t articulate it, because I can’t articulate it, and I’m probably contradicting myself all over the place in a giant game of mental Twister. Like. Romance sounds great, but I’m also fiercely independent and am too used to doing everything alone to actually picture being a healthy team and not having to carry it like groupwork in high school. That image just does not compute.
Or, romance sounds great, but I can’t love you the way you expect and odds are I’m not going to want to sleep with you… but I’ll watch your favorite TV show with you and I’ll buy you that box of candy that you probably forgot you mentioned wistfully wanting last week and I’ll make sure the fridge is stocked with your favorite snack and I’ll do the driving and I’ll text you memes and funny pictures and song recommendations to make you smile and I’ll do 100 other things desperately trying to make up for the guilt of both wanting you to find me attractive, but not actually finding you attractive, but it's actually finding the effort I make and the choices within my power that I want you to find attractive and not 'nice ass' or whatever, of wanting you around and wanting love, but not wanting sex and I guess if you cheat but it's "just sex" I have to deal because you've got "needs" and you're "normal" and I'm lucky to have you around without putting out. While simultaneously daydreaming about an imaginary person who doesn't expect those 100 other things done from guilt, but I got bills to pay and can't be selfish and, well, that person doesn't exist.
But sure, your ace is gutwrechingly realistic because they're an android or an alien and are incapable of a sex drive anyway and not human because, what? All humans have a sex drive, you donut. You just haven't met the right person yet.
No one is just one thing in isolation and otherwise “perfectly normal”. The arrogance and naivety it takes from so many writers who think this can’t be shocked when the negative feedback comes in. Write inclusively. Do not write the deeply personal struggles of a life you did not live, that someone reading your book can look at and think, wow, I can’t believe how wrong they got it. Do I expect to read a perfect copy of myself in someone else's ace charcater? No. Every ace is different, but there's the "ace" flag for a reason.
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mooseonahunt · 9 months
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Hide - RKS
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Hide your love, don’t let it slip away
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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 8 months
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💌 just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who’s left such lovely feedback on my latest chapter of four walls. it’s been a weird and emotionally draining week for me, and getting to come back after a long day and read all your kind words has been such a solace. it’s truly hard to put into words how much it means when people connect with something you’ve created (and i’m far too exhausted to even attempt it tonight), but trust me when i say nothing grounds me and keeps me writing through all the difficult stuff more than knowing that what i’m creating means something to people other than just me. thank you so much for your generosity in sharing that with me via your lovely comments and feedback 💌
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southislandwren · 2 years
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Oops the fam watched desolation of Smaug today and they waited until I got home to watch and I ended up sleeping through the entire thing :/
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ginalinettiofficial · 9 months
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already posted one fic to ao3 today but might fuck around and post another in another fandom just to keep things spicy
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onceuponastory · 4 months
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go to bed - bucky barnes x reader
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Plot: Bucky Barnes is a pain in Y/N's ass...until she gets sick. Pairing: Hinted Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader Warnings: Reader being sick and exhausted, and Bucky being annoying. But as always, if I miss any triggers, please let me know! Notes: This is short (just under 550 words), and complete self gratification because I woke up yesterday full of the cold and I feel pretty crappy. So I need Bucky Barnes in my life rn, lmao.
Not beta'd, so any mistakes are my own.
Bucky sits on his phone in the Avengers kitchen, mindlessly scrolling through social media. The room is quiet, just how he likes it. That is, however, until Y/N shuffles into the room, a blanket wrapped around her shivering form. She groans as she walks, every part of her body aching. The sooner this damn cold goes away, the better. 
“Woah, you look like shit.” Bucky says, looking up at her from his phone, his blue eyes narrowing. Y/N rolls her eyes. This is the last thing she needs right now - Bucky’s annoying ass making her feel worse. She doesn't know what she did to make Bucky tease her so much, but she definitely isn’t sticking around to find out, or listen to his teasing.
“Gee, thanks.”
“No.” Bucky places his phone in his pocket, walking over to her. He studies her, her croaky voice, her runny nose, the clear lack of sleep, and her pyjamas and slippers. “I mean it. You really look like shit. Are you sick?” “No, I just decided to dress like a-a-achoo!” Y/N sneezes, answering Bucky’s question right away.
“Go to bed.” He orders.
“You’re not the boss of me.” Y/N murmurs. She pours herself a glass of water, sipping it in the hopes it alleviates the pain in her throat. “I have stuff to do, anyway.”
“I’m not asking you. You look exhausted, you need sleep.” He replies, and before Y/N argues back again, she notices a look of genuine concern in his eyes. For once, he’s not being a tough guy… he actually cares about her. And despite how much of a pain in her ass Bucky Barnes is… Y/N is glad to have someone looking out for her right now. “Come on.” Bucky prompts, wrapping an arm around her and leading her towards her bedroom. Whether it’s to protect her or simply hold her aching body up, she isn’t sure. But she does know that being so close to Bucky and feeling the warmth radiating off his body is making her feel a lot better already. “Go back to bed. I’ll tell you what you miss in the meetings.”
“Probably won't be much. Just Tony showing off.” She jokes, and Bucky laughs, a sound which makes her stomach flutter, and her legs turn into jelly. And this time, she’s sure it’s not because she’s sick. It’s because Bucky caring for her, and her being important to him feels…wonderful.
Bucky leads her to her room, helping her into bed and wrapping a blanket around her. “Do you need some more water? Tea? I’ll be right outside if you need me.” He offers, and Y/N chuckles, shaking her head.
“No, I think I’m okay.” She yawns. “I might try to get some sleep.” Bucky smiles, nodding. He turns, heading back to her door. “Bucky, wait.”
“Yeah?”
“Why are you being so nice to me?” She asks. “I thought you didn’t like me.” Bucky chuckles, shaking his head. 
“Of course I like you.” He whispers, sitting on the edge of her bed. “I’m just an asshole.”
“You are.” She murmurs, her exhaustion catching up to her. Bucky chuckles, looking down at her as she starts to drift off. Once she's asleep, Bucky gazes down at her, smiling softly.
“I like you a lot, actually.” He whispers. “More than you’ll ever know.”
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
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honeipie · 1 month
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THE INTERVIEW
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katsuki bakugo x fem!reader
synopsis: katsuki won’t do interviews for anyone. well, anyone that isn’t you.
this is part two of the first hockey boys katsuki post which you can find here
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after the interaction at the bar, you and katsuki had been seeing more and more of each other, not only on a professional level, but a personal one as well. in public he'd answer your questions dead last during the press conferences, but you waited each time. knowing that when it was over he wouldn’t leave your side at that bar.
it didn’t take long for the two of you to start dating. you knew you liked him, and he liked you.
the two of you never made your relationship known to the public, due to the small fear you had of it interfering with your job. katsuki never minded, as long as you came home with him at the end of the day he wasn't going to complain.
so five months later here you were, in bed with one of the best hockey players in the league, trying to escape his need to cuddle.
buzz. buzz. buzz.
"get your damn phone will ya?" katsuki mumbled, pressing his eyes shut. you let out a long sigh eyes opening slowly.
"i would if you weren't holding me down like a damn paperweight" he only grumbled loosening his arm around your torso. you couldn’t help but giggle picking up the phone.
“don’t worry my baby. i’ll make it up to you”
“shut up” this made him fully let go and turn his body around. you couldn’t help but fully burst out in laughter at his dramatics before you answered your phone.
“hello?” you rubbed off the sleep that still clouded your eyes.
“y/n, sorry to call you this early but we’re going to need to have a meeting quickly. i hope you don’t mind”
you contained the groan you wanted to let out and opted for a small sigh instead “i’ll be there in an hour” hanging up you turned back to your boyfriend placing your chin in his shoulder.
“i gotta go to work kats”
he grumbled something before turning around to fully face you “this is the one day i don’t gotta go to practice and now they’re callin’ you in? what the hell?”
“i know it sucks, but i’ll be back as soon as possible ‘kay? it’s just a meeting then i should be done” you pulled him in for a kiss which he sleepily returned.
“ugh your breath-“
“shut the fuck up”
even through your teasing he couldn’t help but smirk a little. you got out of the bed opening up his closet. he had opened up a space for you knowing that you might have to get up and go. you picked out something that was comfortable, but still work appropriate. you didn’t plan on staying long anyways.
by the time you exited the closet you were quickly putting on lipstick and looking in the nearest mirror you could find. at this point, katsuki had gotten up and made his way over to you.
“you look nice”
he placed kisses at the crook of your neck, which you were trying not let get to you. cause if you did you would not be getting to work.
“thanks!” you put some earrings in trying not to tilt your head too much where he could have more leverage over you. once they were in you turned around making his head snap back up “i will be back. please remind me cause you know how i could stay there for hours” cupping his cheeks you pulled him in for one last kiss which left a lipstick stain, but you weren’t going to be the one to tell him that.
when you arrived at the station you said your casual hello’s before making your way into one of the conference rooms. luckily, there was already a coffee sitting there waiting for you. ever since you had drawn more attention for the station you’ve been getting some more positive attention.
“hello sir” you greeted your boss with a smile going to sit down across from him. he smiled back at you his teeth practically shining from all the whitening his does.
“there she is! sorry for calling you in on such short notice. i know you probably have errands to attend to" you only shrugged going to take a sip of your coffee "the reason i called you up is because we need something big. we've been getting attention from the players and that's good, but the season is almost over, and we can't just rely on those press conferences anymore. we need something bigger. remember those locker room interviews i was talking about? i was wondering if you could score one with any of the teammates. if you could pull it off, do it with bakugo. he seems to do strangely well with you"
your eyes flit up to meet his. you thought that you could get away with the press conferences for at least the rest of the season. katsuki and you never really delved too dead into work conversation. you'd always hit him with the little 'how was work' and his response never failed, 'y/n you were there'. that was all you would really do. you didn't want him to think that you were with him just to get information out of him, so you never said much about what your boss asked you to do.
"that should be okay with you right? i mean you are our star reporter"
clearing your throat you nodded "i should be able to pull something through. is this all? not to be rude, but i do have some plans for the rest of the day"
he shook his head standing up from his chair "that's all i got for ya" he walked over to give your hand a firm shake "thanks for being so cooperative. shoot me an email when you've got something" with that, he was out of the door.
your keys clanged against the ceramic bowl you made on one of you and katsuki's date nights. he had made one too, you just use it to keep your rings in. katsuki stood in the kitchen already starting prep on some dinner for later. you slipped off your shoes going over to stand next to him.
"how was your meeting?" he asked using a knife to scrape vegetables into a bowl. all you could do was shrug and hop onto the island counter.
"it was okay" you watched as his back muscles flexed along with his movements. katsuki was good on the ice for sure, but in the kitchen? it was like everything he touched was approved by God himself. after he had made your favorite meal after a long day you had never gone back to cooking yourself.
katsuki finished with the last of the vegetables before walking over to you. both hands rested by your thighs, which you wrapped around his waist bringing him closer “hello handsome” you went to lean in but to your surprise he dodged.
he must’ve noticed the offended look that crossed your face “tell me what’s up”
“nothing is up! i just wanted a kiss!”
“don’t lie to me. i just can tell something is wrong. don’t ask how, just tell me so i can help. don’t want you moping around the house bringin’ the mood down”
“weird way of saying you care” your fingers went up to play with some of his hair.
“i do care. that’s why i’m asking”
a small pout formed on your lips as you thought “i don’t want this to ruin what we have. i don’t want you to think im using you or anything, cause i’m not. i love you kat,” if you being upset before didn’t concern him enough this definitely did “my boss is asking me to get a locker room interview with someone on the team-“
“i’ll do it”
it was so quick you could’ve missed it. he didn’t look upset, or even angry. katsuki just shrugged as if it was an every day occurrence. as if he doesn’t brush off every single one on one interview there is. no, you’ve seriously seen him delete the emails before even opening them. fucking spam is what he calls them.
your eyebrows furrowed together at his words “you’re- you’re sure about this?”
“yeah why not. you’re definitely the one doing the interview right? plus if you don’t want it to be with me i’ll force one of the other extras to do it. they fuckin’ love the attention.. was that it?”
“i’ll be doing the interview for sure, and that was it”
he leaned down finally giving you the kiss you wanted along with a small ‘love you’ at the very end.
when he kissed you, there was an unusual feeling on his bottom lip. pulling away you put your thumb over his lip feeling out the bump.
"what the fuck? do you have herpes or some shit?"
katsuki pulled away with an offended expression "no i don't have fuckin' herpes! and if i did, i would've gotten it from your dumbass!"
"well i don't have herpes so where did the herpes bump come from?"
"stop calling it that!"
your stomach was hurting from laughter and katsuki was trying not to give in to your stupid jokes "i got it from that game yesterday. it's starting to swell up a bit" you tilted your head letting your thumb graze over it again.
"babe, you've gotta stop fighting. i don't want to mistake you for having STDs again-"
"is this your weird way of saying you care?"
"i do care"
the two of you stared at each other for a good minute, neither backing down until he let out a huff "fine. can't believe you're doin' this to me" he grumbled going to walk away into the bedroom “come get into some more comfortable clothes. i want to lay down to make up for this morning"
katsuki had a game the next day, so of course you sat right behind the bench where the team sat. it was a close match the whole game. tensions were high between both of the teams, and everyone could feel it. all throughout there was one player on the other team that was really pissing katsuki off, and you could tell from where you were sitting. the way he would skate quickly away from him every time he would get close. the way he would make the whole bench shake every time he sat down in rotations.
there was no physical contact made from either side. not until katsuki scored a goal for his team which must've aggravated the other enough to the point of bodychecking katsuki, hard.
the crowd egged the players actions on with ‘oooohs’ and ‘oh shits!’
now katsuki was livid. you could see him doing a quick turn around to face the player again, but suddenly stopped himself.
katsuki shook his head, and skated away.
the whole crowed murmured in confusion, the player who instigated it was confused. hell, you were even confused.
the day katsuki bakugou refused a fight has finally come.
after the game had finished, and everyone cleared out of the locker room, the station got it set up for the interview. you had taken katsuki into the coach’s office to explain how it was going to go down “so it’s not like a regular locker room interview. it’s going to be like a podcast episode. people eat those up nowadays so this is gonna be good-“
“hm” he was half listening to whatever you were saying. his face was buried in your neck and hands pulled you in by your waist. the blinds were closed and the door was shut, so there was a fifty-fifty chance you could’ve gotten caught, and he was willing to take it.
you decided explaining any more would be useless. all of it going through one ear and out the other. so you moved your hands up the back of his shirt making him shiver slightly “you did good today. i saw your goals”
“thanks baby” he whispered back placing soft kisses along your neck “we can go home after this right?”
“right after, then take a hot bath”
“then let’s get this over with” hesitantly, he pulled away from you going to open the door. you could tell how the game wore him out by how his shoulders sagged slightly, and his hair was a mess. hand going to his shoulder you stopped him “hey, we can do this another day”
he shook his head grabbing one of his baseball caps “nah i’m fine. turn this shit on” nodding you got into you seat. he settled into his but couldn’t help but watched as you fixed your appearance looking into one of the screens nearby. fixing your lipstick because he accidentally smeared it from the after game kiss. the way you straightened out your clothes because of the way he relaxed onto you like a pillow. he loved seeing the evidence of his love all over you, even if nobody knew.
man, he was starting to regret agreeing to keeping this secret.
“are you ready mr. bakugo?” you asked as if you didn’t even know him.
“yeah ‘m ready”
the interview was going smoothly for the most part. you asked him questions and he either gave you one of his famous snarky remarks, or an actual thought out answer. the topic of conversation had turned onto the events of today’s game, and you had questions already lined up in your head.
“so mr. bakugo you had a good game today with you and your teammates pulling in yet another victory. though i’m sure everyone is wondering why you didn’t involve yourself in the fight today. i mean that player was being pretty hostile”
katsuki shrugged pulling the mic away from his mouth a bit “my girl doesn’t like when i fight”
your eyebrow raised at his statement. the team behind the cameras ears perked up at the new information.
“your girl? you- you have a girlfriend?”
his eyes flit up to yours trying to contain his budding smirk “yeah i do. congratulations, you’re the first people to publicly know. other than the team”
“if you don’t mind me asking. how long have you and your girlfriend been together?”
“almost six months”
“so almost half a year. she must have something special if she could tie you down”
both of you were now smiling at each other. it wasn’t shocking that you were smiling, but katsuki? hell must’ve frozen over.
“yeah she’s special as hell, and pretty. might put a ring on her finger one of these days if that’s what she wants” he adjusted the mic once more “people might say that’s quick, but i say when you know you know. why waste time?”
you had choked on your spit causing a coughing fit. katsuki covered his face to hide the fact that he was chuckling at your misfortune. once you pulled yourself together you shook your head “i’m sorry about that. i don’t know what happened”
“don’t worry about it”
“well thank you so much mr. bakugo for doing this interview with us. you’ve been amazing”
he mumbled out a ‘you’re welcome’ before the cameras stopped rolling. you got up quickly making sure the crew had everything they needed before you made your way outside. both you and katsuki had driven your own cars here so you would simply meet him at home.
by the time he had gotten there you had already run the bath and gotten in. you could hear the soft pats of his clothes hitting the floor as he made his way into the bathroom. carefully, he slipped into the tub behind you, muscles instantly relaxing. the two of you sat in comfortable silence for a while. just basking in the warmth of the tub.
“you’re good at your job”
“thanks” you looked over your shoulder to see that his head was tilted back. his adam’s apple bobbed a little because of your movements.
“whatcha starin’ at me for?”
“cause your pretty. and i want to know if you meant what you said”
his one eye opened to look over at you “what did i say?”
katsuki knew what he said. he just wanted to be able to hear his words become yours.
“that you wanted to marry me”
he closed his eye again moving his arms to wrap around your body. they pulled you close with ease enveloping you in more warmth.
“i meant every fuckin’ word”
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@v4mp3r
@yeehawgiddyup13
@b134ch-m4h-ey3z
@liluvtojineteyam
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dilemmaontwolegs · 4 months
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Irresistible {7} || CL16
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x fem!reader, Max Verstappen x fem!reader Summary: After everything, you get a happy healthy ending. Warnings: 18+ only, nsfw, angst, smut, fluff. WC: 4.5k F1 Masterlist || One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven
Your Playlist:
Big Girls Don’t Cry - Fergie
Pretend - Secondhand Serenade
No Right To Love You - Rhys Lewis
You Broke Me First - Tate McRae
Lose You To Love Me - Selena Gomez
The Night We Met - Lord Huron
Wicked Game - Violet Orlandi 
Charles’ Playlist:
Your Call - Secondhand Serenade
The Loneliest - Mäneskin
Roses And Butterflies - Making April
Amnesia - 5sos
Miserable At Best - Mayday Parade
Love Is Gone - Slander
The Man Who Can’t Be Moved - The Script
Charles was spiralling with every mile that grew between where he was and where you were. The only updates he had from you were in the form of photos on Instagram and his concentration went into waiting for your next post instead of the preparation for the final free practice of the day. He had sent you enough unanswered messages to know you were ignoring him and it hurt more than he dared let on.
“She’s not home yet,” he said as he caught up to Max in the paddock. It was half a question and half a statement, but he needed some sort of confirmation.
“I know.” Of course Max knew. You kept in touch with him, sending him sporadic messages when you stopped to take in the beautiful countryside on the quiet roads. It should have been a four hour drive but you were content to make it last the day so you didn’t have to think about what you had left behind. 
Max looked like he was going to say something else but he closed his lips as an arm curled around Charles’ waist. Whatever information he was going to offer was replaced with a simple, “I’ll see you later.”
Charles turned to Charlotte and his eyebrows pulled together in confusion. “I thought you left.”
“Because we had one little fight?”
“I would hardly call it little.”
“Whatever,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “Anyway, now that Y/N’s gone things will be so much easier between us. We can get back to how we used to be. We are good for each other, Charles.”
Charles briefly entertained the idea of pushing her away but then he remembered how lonely it was sleeping by himself. It was completely stupid to even think the relationship could go back to how it was but he was selfish, if he couldn’t have you then settling for her was going to be the next best thing. 
“How about we talk after practice?” His voice was full of defeat and Charlotte knew she had already won as she kissed his cheek and let him go.
“I’ll wait in your garage.”
He faked a smile and headed after Max.
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The air was stale when you stepped into the apartment, not bothering to turn on the lights as you dragged yourself down the hall and into your room. Charles’ bedroom door was still half open, the bed unmade and clothes spilling out of his drawers, sending a pang of hurt to your chest before you pulled it shut. You collapsed face first on your bed and just managed to send a message to Max letting him know you arrived safely before you let your emotional exhaustion take you under. You didn't bother to text Charles, he was probably busy anyway.
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Dawn came with all the same enthusiasm that you woke with. The skyline was a watery grey and even the birds failed to raise any sort of trill with their woeful calls down on the mariner. Dew clung in the air and on your cheeks as you opened the balcony door and chased away the stale air from being closed up for weeks since the last visit. 
Your memory here before the lockdown began didn’t hold a lot of details but you did remember the aroma of coffee drifting up from the cafe below the building. Unfortunately there was only the tang of salt and storm on the air as you inhaled deeply before making the call that was long overdue. 
As expected your father answered straight away, the confusion clear in his voice as he realised that his little night owl was up at dawn. “Hey kiddo, is everything okay?”
“Can we have a donut day?”
You could already hear him moving around the house and he must have covered the microphone as he said a muffled goodbye to a sleepy Pascale. “On my way.”
Donut day was created the day you got your first period. As a panicking solo dad he had rushed to the supermarket for supplies, but he left with mostly donuts and other treats. Thankfully Betty was better prepared and soon arrived with everything you needed, along with calm instructions on how to use them. After that, any day that was absolutely terrible was called a donut day. You and your father would sit on the couch and scoff down a box of donuts until the comfort food worked its magic. 
You paced the living room until the doorbell rang and practically tore it off the hinges in your haste. You really hadn’t noticed just how lacklustre months of video calls were until you threw your arms around your dad and buried your face in his shirt. Video calls couldn’t capture the smell of his aftershave or the feel of his beard when he kissed your forehead like you were still a little kid. 
“I missed you too, pumpkin.” He pulled back to look at your face and his brows pinched together. “Rough night?”
You snorted a laugh but it cracked in your chest and your head fell down. “The last time you asked me that was in Monaco too.”
“I remember. Is this about a boy?”
You nodded and took a seat on the couch while he pensively watched from where he stood. “Will you sit down? You’re making me nervous.”
He huffed and went to the kitchen instead, grabbing a plate and emptying a bag of pastries onto it. “This is the closest to donuts I could find, sorry.”
“It’s okay, it’s not about the donuts.” You picked at a pain au chocolat while he took a seat and grabbed a pain au raisin. “I…”
You didn’t know where to begin or what to say, you just knew you had to get the truth off your chest so you could try to move on. Maybe by admitting the mistake you made, it might somehow ease the guilt you were carrying.
“A boy, right?”
“Yeah,” you murmured. “The same one actually.”
His eyebrows shot up his forehead.“From when we visited?”
“The very same.” You swallowed but the pastry seemed to coat your throat and you nearly choked before you abandoned it. “It was Charles.”
“Oh,” he said with a nod before it seemed to connect and his eyes widened. “Oh…well…shit..”
“I should have said something sooner but I didn’t want to make things awkward for you and Pascale but I…I really fucked up, dad.”
You could practically see his thoughts crossing his face as he remembered how you had called him the first day, asking to stay anywhere else. A heavy sigh fell and he seemed to deflate into the couch cushions. “I thought you were with Max?”
Your eyes narrowed but you didn’t deny it. “How do you know that?”
“Charlotte posted a picture of you and him the other night.”
“That bitch is a-”
“Uh-uh, no,” he tutted. “Correct me if I am wrong but I am going to assume you and Charles have been more than just friends…” 
Your silence was damning. 
“I don’t think you have the moral high ground to go around calling her a bitch then. I raised you better than that. Does Max know about Charles?”
“Max knows everything,” you admitted quietly, still feeling the sting of the reprimand. “He’s good for me.”
“Okay, so then what’s the problem?”
“I just really thought it was a chance - with Charles. We made plans, a future, I could see it.” Now all you saw was the note on the table and how he chased after Charlotte. “It was stupid and naive and I feel so embarrassed.”
“Love makes everyone stupid at some point.” Your father sighed again before wrapping his arm around you. “So Max huh? You know he’s got a bit of a reputation. Bit of a hot head.”
You wiped away the tears that had been building and scoffed. “Don’t believe everything you see in the media. They portray Charles as this wholesome boy next door and Max as an angry man child. Both are wrong.”
You grabbed the pastry and ate it, this time able to stomach the idea of food, before grabbing another. It wasn’t as sweet as a donut but the sugar from the chocolate was starting to hit your blood and perk you up.
“I can’t live here anymore. Not Monaco,” you corrected when you saw his eyes widen. “Just here, with Charles. I need somewhere away from him.”
You didn’t know the exact reason why your mother left but you thought maybe she felt like this, maybe it was healthier to leave than to stay. 
“The house isn’t finished but the kitchen and your bathroom are done, so it’s livable. You’ll need some moving boxes. A lot by the looks,” your father said as he stood up and looked around the room to see your belongings strewn across the place. “I’ll be back soon.”
“You’re not going to give me a lecture?” you asked as he made his way to the door.
He scanned your features that reminded him so much of your mother. “You look like you’ve learned your lesson to me. Do you need one?”
You shook your head meekly and he nodded to himself. “I’ll be back with some boxes soon.”
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“Hello, handsome,” you greeted Max as soon as the video connected. He had just returned to his hotel after qualifying and securing the 5th starting place on the grid. “I’ve found a new hobby, painting.”
His smile brightened at your mood that had dramatically lifted in the past 24 hours and you showed him around your new bedroom. Paint bottles lined a sheet-covered table and dirty brushes sat in a murky jar of water, but you panned across the wall to show him the artwork you had made.
“What is it?” he asked with a forehead crumpled in confusion. He tilted his head trying to see from a different angle but he still couldn’t process the splatterings - it reminded him of a Rorschach test, one he was doing badly at. 
“I didn’t say I was good,” you clarified with a laugh as you also tried to interpret the design that was no longer just on the walls. It was a good thing the carpet hadn’t been laid yet. You had tried to push the hair out of your face and smeared paint across your cheek and it had ended up everywhere by the time you were finished. “It is a mess just like me.”
“You're not a mess, schat,” Max said as he sat at the end of his bed and fell back to watch the tour of the rest of the house. “Are you okay there on your own?”
“It’s certainly quieter than the paddock, that will take a bit of getting used to, but I don’t mind it too much.” You did miss the other friends you had made at Ferrari, but felt it was best to give everyone in red a wide berth for a while. You had seen how poorly Charles qualified and knew he wasn’t at his best partly because of you. You still hadn’t been able to answer his calls or texts.
“Well, you could come back, if you want, you’ll always be welcome at Red Bull.”
“If you miss me, you can just say that,” you teased and he sat up.
He combed a hand through his damp hair and you bit your lip remembering how it felt to be the one doing that. “I do miss you,” he admitted seriously. “That’s why I’m coming back first thing Monday morning - I owe you breakfast.”
“You know there are no cafes open?”
Max smirked and the sight made your heart skip a beat. “Who said anything about a cafe?”
You wanted to know what his plans were but there was a knock at his door and Daniel’s voice reached you through the phone. Max was tempted to let Daniel continue pounding on the door but you both knew he wouldn’t leave quietly and Max groaned at that truth. “Go answer that, I’ll call you in the morning.” 
Max dragged his feet as he padded across the room. “I would rather talk to you.”
“Me too.”
“Finish the phone sex already, you pervs,” Daniel shouted through the door before Max ripped it open.
“Oh, oh, yes, Max, don’t stop,” you called out, turning Max’s ears pink as he rushed to turn the phone around and show Daniel the screen and just how fully clothed you were. “Sorry to disappoint you, Danny, no phone sex - this time.”
It was only when Daniel bent over laughing that you saw he wasn’t alone. Charles was out in the hallway with Carlos and Lando, his eyes falling to the carpet when you noticed him.
“We’re getting dinner, you wanna come?” Daniel asked, and thankfully the phone rotated back to Max who looked a little torn at the offer.
“He does,” you answered for him before he could decline just to talk with you a little while longer.
“I’ll call you in the morning, schat.”
“Okay, have fun.”
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Charles found nothing to celebrate when the race ended so he made his way home before the rest of the crew even realised it. He thought his weekend couldn’t get any worse after he DNF’d. The only silver lining was that despite his better qualifying, Max had also failed to finish the race. But he still won where it really mattered when it came to you.
Charles pulled into the apartment complex and saw a new sleek black Mercedes AMG parked in one of his many reserved spaces and hope fluttered in his chest. He grabbed his suitcase and darted up the stairwell to his apartment, nearly snapping the key in his haste to unlock the door. That hope turned to ash when he found it eerily silent and every inch of the place perfectly tidy. It was unlived. 
The artwork you had purchased still hung on the walls and the shaggy rug he had made love to you on still covered the floor, but the spirit of it all was gone. The colours of the paintings were drained and the temperature controlled air was no longer comfortable. He didn’t even need to go to your room and check, he knew you were gone.
He knew you were gone the moment he saw you on the video call to Max. He had gone with his mother to her new house enough times to know what it looked like, even if it appeared that a rainbow vomited all over the walls. The truth just hadn’t really settled in until he stepped across the threshold and into the house that was once a home.
You had tidied the place as if you were cleaning a crime scene and needed to scrub away all evidence of being there except you couldn’t get it all. You still remained in the pantry cupboards where everything was labelled in your handwriting. You still remained in the linen closet where you folded the sheets and the towels into perfect rectangles. You still remained in the scented candles that sat on the centrepiece of the table.
Charles’ eyes stung as they lingered on the table where the keys to the apartment and the Mercedes sat, right next to his credit card and the picture you kept in your wallet.
Kicking the door closed, he abandoned his suitcase and rushed down the hall. His heart hammered knowing what he would find but he had to check as he pushed open your bedroom door. No, it wasn’t your bedroom anymore, it was a guest room. 
The feminine floral duvet his mother had chosen was gone, replaced with a plain white coverlet, and the windows were latched slightly open so whatever scent of yours he may have been able to save had already been cast away to the breeze. 
“Fuck!” he screamed as he punched his fist into the mattress. “Fuuuuucckk!!!”
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Max must have left before Pierre had finished partying after his shock win. It wasn’t even morning really as the sun was still cresting over the hills, and it was far earlier than you were expecting him. You thought perhaps you were dreaming when you woke to a knock and opened the door to find Max on your front steps. 
“Oh my god, are you okay?” you asked as you pulled him inside and inspected the bags under his eyes. 
“I’m better now,” he said as he wrapped his arms around you and buried his face in your hair. “I told you I missed you.”
“I missed you too,” you murmured into his chest before pulling away so you could look into his eyes. “You need to sleep.”
“I’ll be fine, I have plans first.”
“Your plans can wait.” You took his hand and led him through the house to your room that overlooked the mariner. Your blankets were still warm as you nestled under the covers and patted the empty space beside you. “You’re not going to be comfortable in jeans.”
“Five minutes and you’re already trying to get me naked,” he teased as he pulled his shirt over his head before he unbuttoned his jeans.
“I never said naked,” you pointed out. The air froze in your lungs as he pushed them down his muscular thighs and you swallowed at the sight before.
“I’m not wearing boxers.”
“No, you certainly are not.” Your tongue rolled across your lips as you drank in every inch of him, the idea of sleep quickly departing your mind. Almost everything departed your mind, except want. “I think I am overdressed.”
“You make a habit of that.”
“I do, don’t I. Maybe you should come help me fix that.”
Max didn’t need to be told twice, he had been waiting for this moment since he had the memory of how your body felt against his. He pulled the covers back and knelt between your legs, his hands roaming up your body and under the baggy shirt of a band he didn’t know. The morning air was cool on your skin as you lifted your arms and he discarded the shirt over the side of the bed. 
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmured as he traced his lips over your racing pulse. A fiery trail of goosebumps remained where his kiss had been and he made his way to your lips before stealing the very breath from your lungs.
Your own hands went roaming, feeling his muscles tense beneath your touch until you reached his proud erection. He shuddered above you and moaned into your mouth before he pulled back. “I need you,” you begged, unabashedly. “Please, Max.”
His hands reached for your panties and the lace tickled as he dragged them down your legs. Even with your begging, he didn’t immediately bury himself in you. He took his time, settling back between your legs. He gently massaged your inner thighs with his strong hands, his thumbs dancing teasingly close to your core until a strangled whine escaped you.
“Relax, schat,” he said softly. “I’ll take care of you.”
He shifted onto his stomach and dipped his head to your core. You lost the ability to think as he gripped your hips and tugged you right onto his open mouth. A wordless cry filled the room and it took a second to understand it was coming from you as you lost yourself in the pleasure Max was giving you. You knew Max had an internal drive to succeed at everything he did and this was no different. He was determined to taste you completely and drive you into oblivion with his tongue and his fingers before he thoroughly fucked you. 
Max looked wild and untamed as you came undone around his fingers and he savoured the taste of you on his tongue as he rose above you. His eyes were dark and his lips swollen, his chin was damp and his smile satisfied. 
“Hi,” he chuckled with amusement. “Feeling alright?”
“Mhmm,” you hummed, because correlating a conscious thought into words seemed impossible as your body still trembled with aftershocks.
“Would you like a break?”
You reached between your bodies and wrapped your hand around his cock, guiding him closer to your entrance. “No, I want you, Max.”
“Completely sober, right?” he confirmed as the head pressed to your wet core.
“Not quite,” you teased, his brows pinching together at the words, “I’m drunk on you.”
The relief in his eyes was palpable and you cradled his face in your palm as you wrapped your legs around his hips. Your bodies united torturously slowly and your eyes fluttered at the fullness when every delicious inch was seated inside, your lips parting with a heady sigh.
“Open your eyes, schat.”
You obeyed in an instant, watching him watch you before his eyes drifted down your bodies. His lip was pinched between his teeth and he groaned at the sight of your pussy taking him so well, something he made sure to tell you.
“Fuck,” you choked as his words made your cunt clench in response, each thrust burying him deep in your cunt until stars dotted your vision and you were tipped over the edge into another orgasm. “Fuuuckk…”
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Six months later. “Babe, have you seen my shoes?” Your voice carried throughout the large penthouse apartment you had moved into with Max when the season ended. 
“Here, with your dress,” he called out from the living room. 
You followed his voice and found the luggage being neatly stacked by the door. He pointed to the two garment bags hanging from the coat rack and at the bottom of the longer one were your heels, next to his polished dress shoes.
“I packed your coat too,” Max said, kissing your temple as he passed to get the car keys.
With the COVID restrictions being lifted Pascale hadn’t wanted to wait a minute longer for the wedding, so winter nuptials in February was the go. At least they were taking place in Sicily so it would be a little warmer, but of course Max would think to pack a coat for when the temperatures dropped at night. He was always thoughtful like that.
“Did you want a coffee?” you asked as you turned on the machine and put your travel mug under it. It was only a three hour flight on Max’s private jet, but you hadn’t slept well with the knowledge you would see Charles for the first time since Christmas. 
Cordial is how you would describe that relationship. The familiarity and intimacy was gone, replaced with standoffish politeness. You were both trying to find where the line could be drawn on a platonic friendship that had the history of more and it was slow going. You didn’t want anything you said or did around him to be misconstrued. 
Max made you happy, and just as importantly, Max was healthy for you. You did sometimes wonder if he tried harder to be better because he had witnessed toxic relationships growing up. He knew how that toxicity could poison and break someone so there was a conscious effort in the way he spoke and acted to everyone around him. Even Charles. 
That was why he had offered his plane for everyone to use, including Charles and Charlotte. For better or for worse, Charles was going to be a part of your family in less than 24 hours and Max respected that. Like he said, he didn’t care about your past and your future was one with him.
“Schatje,” Max called, one hand on your waist, the other reaching past you to the overflowing mug in the coffee machine. “Everything alright?”
You came back to the present with a few blinks and turned in his arms, surprising him with a deep kiss as you fisted his shirt and pulled him closer. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” He pulled back to see your face. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” you said with a shake of your head but he saw right through it. “Everything you’ve done for me…a simple ‘I love you’ just doesn’t seem enough. I can never say it enough.”
Max’s hands cradled your jaw and he dipped his head to indulge in a slow but thorough kiss that had your stomach clenching with a fresh wave of desire. When he pulled back this time he smiled as he found the clear want and need for him written on your face. “It’s enough for me.”
He turned the machine off and poured the ruined coffee down the sink. “I’ll get you a proper coffee on the way to the airport. We should get going, can’t have the best woman be late for the rehearsal.”
“I think dad settled on the term groomsmaid,” you corrected with a laugh. You had nearly cried when he asked you to be his best man, before accepting the honour. It was fitting considering the bridesmaids were Pascale’s sons. “It’s not too late if you want to be a flower girl?”
He grinned and his eyes flicked to the door where the dress you had paraded for him last night hung. “I’m quite happy to sit back and watch.”
“If I recall, you didn’t sit still for long. I hope you have more self restraint for the ceremony.”
 “For the ceremony, yes. But as soon as we hit the hotel room you’re mine and that dress will be on the floor, I promise you.”
You bit your lip at the promise, knowing he would keep it just like every other one he had made. 
“We should probably go before I do something that makes us very late,” Max groaned, stepping away from your tempting body. 
“Ugh, fine.”
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The ceremony was more than just a wedding and it represented the joining of the Leclerc’s and the Y/LN’s, something that had surprised you and also made you grateful for having waterproof mascara. You didn’t dare look at Charles when the celebrant spoke about the union of the two families, but Arthur grinned and Enzo winked, your father narrowed his eyes and you laughed.
The celebrant, thankfully, didn’t understand.
The cashmere coat Max had packed hung over the bag of your chair as night fell and you danced with him under the open stars. The only light came from the fairy lights strung around the stone pillars that had survived centuries on the island. His arms kept you warm as you swayed to the music and you spoke quietly to each other in a world of your own.
“Hey, can I, uh, can I cut in?” Charles asked hesitantly.
You took a deep breath as you debated the question, your eyes glancing around and quickly finding Charlotte at a table with Arthur and his girlfriend. You looked at Max to see if it was okay. He just smiled and kissed your cheek, whispering, “I’ll get us a drink.”
Charles waited until Max had made it off the dance floor before offering his hand, the other coming to rest on your waist. The first step was tentative, like he wasn’t sure you were actually going to follow his lead. “You look happy,” he said after a few more steps.
“I am.”
He nodded to himself, looking at Charlotte. “Good. That’s good.”
He looked miserable. “I hope you find real happiness one day.” You were being honest.
“I had it.” And he was being honest too. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I ever really apologised, not properly.”
“It’s fine, if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have met Max.”
“It was meant to be us, though, right?” His eyes were begging you to agree with him but you had spent sleepless nights poring over the very same question.
“I think our paths crossed to make sure our parents met,” you admitted, smiling at the newlyweds as they danced too. You had never seen your dad happier.
“You really believe that?”
The song came to an end and you found Max returning from the bar with two drinks in his hand. “I have to,” you said as you slipped out of Charles’ arms. You swallowed the lump in your throat and took a step away from him.
“Why?” He took a step closer, only stopping when you took another step back and held up your hand. “Why?”
You took a calming breath and steadied your voice. “Because the alternative would only break my heart again.”
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Text
Bad Faith Part Two
Part One | Masterlist
Pairing: Harvey Specter x Reader
Rating: Explicit - 18+. Minors, kindly get off my lawn.
Notes: Not beta-read because when is it ever. Read this over six times but there are probably twenty typos that I'll spot the second I hit post, so. Anyway! Welcome to part two of two!! Thank you for reading 💖
Length: 14.2k
Warnings: Angst; fluff! Huzzah!; Reader’s married surname is Hayward; reader is depressed for swaths of the chapter; unhealthy coping mechanisms; lovers to enemies to allies to lovers; explicit sexual content - vaginal sex, oral sex, hate sex, safe sex
Summary: Your life was four walls, a cruddy bed, rickety furniture. You spent too much time awake when you should’ve been sleeping; too much time reminiscing when you should have been moving on; too much time dwelling on the time that you spent with men in your life that probably wouldn’t spare you another thought. 
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“Ross. Mike Ross.” 
“Cut the Bond schtick.” 
“I’m a contender.” 
“Not a chance. Besides, we’ve been over this; you’re Q at best.” 
“Could do a lot worse than Desmond Llewelyn or Ben Whishaw—Hang on, you think you’re Bond?” 
Harvey stopped, gesturing over his body sweepingly before scoffing, “Please.”
“Please is right,” Mike muttered, tucking his hands into his pockets. “You always go to this thing?” 
“...I’ve been once or twice.” In truth, Harvey hadn’t been to the New York City Estate and Properties gala in years. He hadn’t had occasion or reason; the last time he had, he’d made sure that she wouldn’t be there before he’d agreed. Tonight his purpose was manifold—drink good champagne, eat good food, and warn Hayward off of pursuing his lawsuits against his client’s property. 
His client. It wasn’t as simple as all that, but these days, he’d managed to separate her from the work. It was clinical—and clinical was exactly what he needed. 
“Did you see the menu for dinner? I didn’t see a menu.” 
“Get your fill of canapes. I’m talking to Hayward and then we’re going.” 
“What?” Mike pouted. “But I thought we were staying for the ceremony.” 
“You thought wrong. Keep your eyes peeled. Sooner we get this conversation over, the sooner we can get away from this den of cobras.” 
“Never have a mongoose when you need one.” Mike nodded over Harvey’s shoulder. “Found Mrs. Hayward.” 
“Thought she didn’t like you calling her that.” 
“She doesn’t, but around here, it might be better to use that rather than use her maiden name and have someone ask me who the hell I’m talking about…You gonna talk to her?” 
“What for?” 
“So she at least knows what suit to look for when she wants to avoid you.” 
Harvey’s chastising glare was met with a wide, smug grin. 
“Come on,” Mike groaned. “You haven’t spoken to her in weeks.” 
“And have you considered that that may be why things have been going so smoothly?” 
“Fine—I’ll give you another reason you should say hi to her.” 
“You better make it a good one this time.” 
“Jessica is catching on to the fact that you haven’t touched this case with a ten foot pole.” 
Harvey winced slightly as he swallowed the last of his champagne. 
“Fine,” He grudgingly conceded, setting the empty champagne flute on a passing waiter’s tray. “Point me.” 
“She’s at your two o’clock.” 
Harvey turned accordingly, pushed out an annoyed sight—and then felt what breath he had left catch in his throat. 
‘Stunning’ was the first word that came to mind, but in his heart, Harvey knew that it didn’t do her justice. For his lingering, abiding annoyance with her, and with them—with the whole goddamn situation—there were moments when Harvey remembered why he’d fallen in love with her in the first place. 
She didn’t want to be there. Harvey didn’t need to ask to know that—it was common sense. But that didn’t stop her from showing her face, from being impeccably dressed, and maintaining what had to be a meticulously constructed poker face. 
“...You do know what staring isn’t talking, right?” 
Mike’s amusement cut into Harvey’s reverie, and he cleared his throat to refocus himself. 
“Keep an eye out for Hayward,” Harvey ordered before he forced himself forward, slowly weaving through the crowd. 
What the hell was he even going to say to her? Hi wasn’t going to cut it; Come here often? Was almost as stupid. How about something about her dress—Whether or not it was new? That had to be safe, neutral ground— 
Harvey had been so focused on what he planned to say that he hadn’t clocked her turning to face him. He chalked it up to panic radar—her hype-sesitivity given the current situation. He stared. She watched. And then—
“Come here often?” 
Damnit. Stupid, sure, but at least it wasn’t hi. 
-- 
“...Annually, at least.”
Was it your imagination, or was Harvey…Nervous? At the very least, he seemed as confused as you were at the fact that he was talking to you. 
“I’m a little surprised that you made a showing,” He admitted. 
“I could say the same for you. Does Jessica have you prospecting clients to get back in the good graces of the real estate department at the firm?” 
Harvey’s eyes narrowed with playful intrigue,and for a moment, you saw a flash of the man that you used to know—the man who gave you that same look when you slipped your panties off and tucked them into his jacket pocket to find later. 
“What did Mike tell you?” 
You shrugged nonchalantly, glancing around. 
“Nothing impor—...Tant.” You trailed off, falling still and quiet as your eyes landed on Steven. 
Well, he was hard to miss. 
Standing at 6’3, with a manufactured tan, swimmer’s build, full head of gracefully graying hair, and veneers that made his smile look like a neatly arranged row of chiclets gum, Steven Hayward was the very picture of the kind of health that only wealth could buy. With the stress of the last few weeks, you knew that you weren’t looking your absolute best. You’d had so many sleepless nights; you’d swapped out your favorite catered meals in favor of cheaper alternatives, or dollar slices of pizza, or ramen from the bodega down the block from your apartment, pulled gently from beneath the cat that seemed to always be napping on the exact flavor that you wanted. 
You were certain that Steven lost no sleep over the decision to divorce you, or to pull the rug out from beneath you. You expected him to be in tip-top shape—but you saw hints of his rage as he grew closer. 
“Oh—Hell,” You mumbled, tipping your head toward Harvey. “You might wanna clear out.” 
“You kidding? I’ve got a front row seat to the prize fight of the century.” 
“Target acquired.”
You frowned at the sound of Mike’s voice, but you didn’t turn to look at him as you muttered, “Target?” 
“Darling.” The term of affection oozed past Steven’s bleached-white teeth. He stopped just a couple of steps from you—not near enough to touch, but close enough to see the anger sparkling in his dishwater gray eyes. A pulse of vindication swept through your chest at the tense smile, and the tight pull of his jaw. 
“Steven,” You greeted cordially.
“I’m surprised to see you this evening.” 
“If I had a nickel.” 
“Oh, but you do. Putting all of those properties up for sale, I expect you plan on having more than a few nickels.” 
“What can I say? A girl’s gotta get by.” 
“Anything I can do to help?” 
“Have you considered unfreezing our joint account?” 
He chuckled humorlessly. “Anything but that.” 
“Then wire me half.”
“You haven't earned half.” 
It was meant to cut you down and lay you out, but you refused to bow to this man publicly when the other attendees must always hold you in such low regard as it was. 
“I agree,” You offered, and before Steven could preen in his false superiority, you clarified: “I deserve more.” 
Steven bristled, shoulders bunching tight. 
“Perhaps I should just take this evening’s expenses out of that half.” 
You furrowed your brow pointedly, shaking your head. 
“Mmm…I’m not sure I understand what you mean.” 
“Really.” 
“Mm…N—...No—?” 
“Perhaps you’ve been so busy hocking your clothes like a dog snuffling for scraps—” Your face flared with embarrassment as Steven pressed on: “But there was meant to be a reception at my penthouse this evening.” 
My penthouse. If it had only been the two of you in that room, you may have slapped him. How had he been able to detach, to force you from his mind and his heart so quickly? Had he ever loved you? Had any man? 
The heat of Harvey’s body suddenly seemed to flare just behind you. 
“Ah!” You nodded sagely, “It’s all coming back to me.” 
“What could have happened there, I wonder?” 
“You must not have taken care.” 
“Of what?” 
Of me. “Of anything.” 
Steven took you in for another long, cruel moment before he jutted his chin over your shoulder. 
“Friends of yours?” 
Ah yes. Your personal legal peanut gallery. You glanced back to confirm their positioning before raising your hand to gesture: 
“This is Mike Ross.” The name seemed to knock something loose in Steven’s mind as he shook Mike’s hand. 
“Ah, Mr. Ross. I saw your name on some documentation this morning.” 
“You’re about to see it a lot more, Mr. Hayward.” 
“And this is Harvey Specter.” 
Your stomach lurched as Steve’s eyes widened slightly, lips curling into a smile. 
“This is Harvey Specter?” He didn’t bother to hide his amusement as he proffered his hand. ”I didn’t realize I sent you the worst possible port in this storm.” 
“You didn’t,” Harvey insisted, grasping Steven’s hand firmly. “You sent her to the best.” 
“Try not to drop her this time. My arms aren’t open anymore.” 
Your hands tightened where they were clasped around one another. You forced yourself to keep your gaze set stalwartly on Steven, rather than watch the contentious (and no doubt, painful) handshake that the two of them were sharing. 
“Well,” You chirped. “This was a lovely little catch-up.” 
“Yes,” Harvey chimed in, finally extricating his hand from Steven’s and tucking it into his pocket. “We must do it again sometime. Preferably at a deposition.” 
“Maybe in court,” Mike added. You had to fight down a smile at the sudden swell of support, and a wave of warmth that swept through you. Steven’s eyes narrowed just a touch more before he nodded. 
“I do hope you’ll stay for my speech.” 
“Who’d you have write it for you this time?” You asked. 
“I took a crack at writing it myself.” 
If that was true, it was sure to be a mess and a half. You always had been the one to draft his speeches or remarks—or you paired down any drafts sent over by the agency’s PR department. 
“I look forward to it.” 
Steven gave you one last look before he turned away, slapping on his businessman smile as he went, and raising a hand to signal someone like a politician trying to garner votes. 
“...Why didn’t you mention the forgery charges?” Mike asked. 
“It’s too soon to tip our hand...What table are you sitting at?”
“Thirteen,” You sighed. 
“Lucky number,” Mike muttered. 
“Go change our place cards,” Harvey ordered. “Put us on either side of her.” 
You whirled around to face him, stunned at the tight irritation pinching his features. 
“So we are staying for dinner?” Mike grinned. Harvey blinked flatly at him before reiterating: “Go.” 
You watched Mike duck through the crowd, heading for the dining room.
“Were you not going to stay for dinner?” 
“I’ve gotta eat some time. Come on,” Harvey nudged your arm with his, “Buy me a drink.” 
“It’s an open bar.” 
“Good. Then it won’t break the bank.” 
The press of Harvey’s warm hand to your lower back was far more steadying than it should have been, and it managed to dampen the enraged fire in your belly. 
“How’s that good faith deposit doing, anyway?” 
“I threw 98% of it into an HYSA.” 
“Smart move.” 
“I should’ve made moves like it sooner.” 
“Better late than never.” 
“I guess.” 
“...You don’t have to stay for dinner.” 
“We’re going to.” 
“On either side of me as well, I’m flattered. I wasn’t planning on having guard dogs this evening.” 
“As long as you don’t try to keep us on short leashes.” 
“Depends on whether you plan on doing more barking or biting this evening.” 
“I’ve barked enough for now.” 
“Biting?” 
“If you play your cards right, sure.” 
You didn’t bother to hide your open shock at the blatant implication, but when you looked at Harvey, you found him giving you a surprisingly warm smile. 
“Looks like speaking with Steven has put a little pep in your step, Mr. Specter.” 
“I wouldn’t say that.” 
“What did?”
Harvey leaned heavily against the bar, focus set elsewhere as he tried to catch the bartender’s eye. 
“You and I both know that this is going to be a long road. I like a good fight.” 
“You don’t say.” 
“It’s important to me that you’re ready for it, too.” 
You nodded a little. “It may also be prudent for us to keep that fight directed at Steven, and not toward one another.” 
Harvey took the two proffered champagne flutes, passing you one and holding it up to cheers: 
“I’ll drink to that.” 
-- 
It wasn’t perfect right away. You and Harvey still butt heads from time to time. On the purchases that the judges ruled that you were able to move forward with, you disagreed over terms—purchase price, contingencies, negotiations. But the knots unpicked sooner and sooner, and you reached resolutions faster. Mike hardly had to intervene anymore. Harvey gave Jessica status updates openly, and you abidingly ignored the smug, self-satisfied smiles that she gave you as you left her office. 
With the service and tenancy contracts, the two apartment building sales that aren’t mired in paperwork still chugged along slowly. You knew that it was protocol, but it was excruciating. You felt ill every time you got an email from Mike or Harvey, expecting correspondence that spelled disaster. Every little bit of good news only brought marginal relief. 
You spent most of your days in your apartment, packaging clothing or jewelry that you’d sold online. You got your packages sent off by five in the evening, and the rest of your night was your own—though it often ended similarly. Your logical mind often gave over to your emotions in the evening, and you allowed yourself to slip into quiet, depressed oblivion. The methods varied—slurping down two packets worth of dollar-pack ramen, and chasing that with a few bottles of beer as one of your favorite shows played in the background; curling up in your bed and staring at the ceiling at 8 PM, and laying wide awake with your mind racing until the sun came up; hunting through property listings online and plotting a comeback that felt like it would never come.
You never had visitors. Aaron was so entrenched at work that you  only got the odd text from him. Your former friends seemed to have further aligned themselves with Steven after his triumphant speech at the gala—during  which he had gone out of his way to omit any mention of you from his historical record. You had avoided seeing much of Jessica outside of the office, certain that she would council you on a good divorce lawyer, or encourage you to begin dating, or level another lecture about the stupidity with which you had bungled your last marriage.
For as well as you knew she meant, you didn’t have the time or patience—and some little part of you, some stupid, naïve part that knew well enough that the war was already lost, was convinced that Steven would change his mind.
It was unlikely, considering the magnitude of his cruelty over the last couple of months, and further exacerbated by your actions before the gala. Steven would not let you back into his arms, his home, or his heart. You didn’t truly want to be let back into his arms, or his heart, but you missed his home. You had taken such care in the planning, the curation, the furnishing, the upkeep. You were proud of it. You had been happy, and comfortable, and so goddamn foolish.
Now you were tired, and lonely, and you spent so much of your day feeling stupid. 
Sometimes, when the wind blew just a little too hard and rattled the flimsy windows, you let the sound of it cover your sobs against the paper-thin walls that connected you to your neighbor’s apartment (you’d learned just how much sound bled through when you first became privy to your neighbor’s light argument, which had then turned into a full-on shouting match. They’d sounded like they were in the same damn room with you, wall be damned).
It was one such sob session that you managed to hear someone knock on your door. You sniffled, shifting on your bed. You were certain that the sound was from next door, or that you’d misheard the rattle of the window. But when you heard the second, insistent round of knocks, the source couldn’t be mistaken. You sniffled, setting your beer aside onto the bedside table crowded with empties and pushing yourself off of the bed. You swiped haphazardly at the tears on your face as you walked over to it, calling out, “Alright, for fuckssake!” When a third round of knocks rapped against the door.
You threw it open, finally, wincing at the invasive flash of the flickering fluorescent hall light. You weren’t sure what was worse: the flickering, harsh strobe, or Harvey’s stunned confusion.
It may have been a tie.
“…What is it?” You mumbled.
“Have you been crying?”
“Little bit.”
“Are you drunk?”
“Getting there.”
“…Get dressed.”
“What?”
“Get dressed,” Harvey insisted, nodding over your shoulder. “We’re going out.”
“Harvey, I’m really not in the mood,” You sniffled.
“We won’t go far.”
“Then why are we going at all?”
Harvey opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off by a sudden crash! and the swell of yelling voices from next door. His eyes darted toward it before he nodded.
“I’m not listening to that all night.”
“Who the hell says you’re going to be here more than five minutes?”
Your heart stuttered as Harvey’s hands planted firmly on your hips, steering you back into your studio before he nudged the door shut with his foot.
“Get dressed. And hurry up.”
You weren’t sure what it was—his touch, his firm insistence, or your own distaste for your screaming neighbors—but you turned around and began dutifully rifling through one of your remaining trash bags of clothing.
“Where are we going?”
“There’s a diner around the corner.”
“A diner? How down heel of you, Mr. Specter.”
“I can appreciate the simple things.”
You snorted, straightening with a pair of jeans and a sweater. “Since when.” You glanced guardedly toward him before you nodded him toward the door. “Turn around.”
--  
“You can afford better than that place, you know.” 
You didn’t answer him. Instead, you shoved a handful of cheese fries in your mouth and leaned back to chew with laborious slowness. You expected Harvey to fill the silence, but he didn’t. He just watched, and waited, and stared at you until you swallowed. You nudged the plate toward him, offering: “Want one?” 
 You avoided his openly chastising gaze, tired of the fact that it was the only look you get from most of the lawyers in your life these days. 
“You have that good faith deposit.” 
“I told you where it went.” 
“The brownstone payment is on the edge of clearing escrow. Look for somewhere else to live.” 
“Not yet.” 
“Why not?” 
“It’s not a good idea.” 
“Steven isn’t going to weasel into every potential deal and hold it up.” 
“Forgive me for my skepticism, but I don’t exactly have many friends in this city anymore.” 
“...Are you planning on going somewhere else?” 
You’d be lying if you said it hadn’t crossed your mind. There were cities here you could rebuild your life and your practices, places where you were sure Steven wouldn’t bother to try and strike down your attempts to rebuild your life. 
“Maybe,” You admitted. “I liked Cambridge.” 
Harvey’s lips twitched with a gentle, regretful smile. It was his turn to reach out and swipe a few fries and chow down. 
“Realty up there is pricey,” You added. “Could make a polite killing on student housing.” 
“How does one make a polite killing?” 
“Decent rent and coin-operated laundry. Maybe some paid parking, a few overpriced but conveniently placed vending machines.” 
“Redbull?” 
“I was just thinking about snacks, but you know what, Redbull isn’t a bad idea.” You reached out, picking up a fry and drawing it through the splodge of ketchup remaining at the edge of the plate. “Why did you come over?” 
“I wanted to let you know that the inspections are finished.” 
“On which?” 
“The properties that you didn’t know about.” 
“Anything stand out?” 
“A foundational issue on one of the apartment buildings, but it doesn’t cost enough that it should’ve stopped work.” 
“What about the others?” 
“Nothing that popped as catastrophic.” 
“You have the print-outs?” 
“In my car.” 
“Why are they in there?” 
“I was going to offer to take you for a drink, but you seemed to beat me to it.” 
You scoffed, shifting in your seat. “Don’t get all high and mighty on me, Specter.” 
“You do that often?” 
“What, drink?” 
“Yes.” 
“Are you accusing me of having a problem?” 
“I’m asking if you do that often.” 
“Once in a while.” 
“New for you?” 
“Relatively.” 
Harvey eyed you critically for a few moments before he nodded. “Call me the next time you want to have a drink.” 
“So you can talk me out of it?” 
“So you at least don’t do it alone.”
“I’m usually not in a talking mood when it happens.” 
“We don’t have to talk.” 
“Oh, please. As if you don’t love the sound of your own voice.” 
“Call me anyway.” 
You were quiet for a moment before you nodded. “You know, the thought of you dropping by may just be an effective suppressant.” 
Harvey’s smile widened a little. “Do you want to put the other houses on the market?” 
“I want to walk through the apartment buildings myself before I go through them.” 
“What about the ones in the Hamptons and the Cape?” 
“I’ll drive up.” 
“And Gstaad?” 
“A little trickier.” 
“Could bill it.” 
“I doubt it.” 
“You could, under discovery.” 
“This would not be covered under discovery.” 
“How would you know that?” 
“I’m sorry, remind me who used to quiz you for the bar?” 
Harvey scoffed softly, averting his gaze to the diner counter. “Well, this may surprise you, but a few laws have changed since then.” 
“And this may surprise you, but not only am I aware of that, I’ve also been pretty deeply entwined with lawyers since then. So I’m pretty comfortable making that assertion.” 
“And this? You think I’m not billing for this?” 
“Oh, I hope you are. I hope you bill for every second that it took you to walk up the steps to my apartment. I want Jessica to pay for my cheese fries. You know why?” 
“Because it would kill her?”
“It would drive her nuts.” 
“I can’t wait to give her the itemized total.” 
“I await the enraged phone call.” 
-- 
“You don’t have to walk me back up, you know."
“Sure I do. Gotta work off those fries. Besides, I’m billing for this until I officially drop you off.” 
You rolled your eyes, nudging Harvey’s shoulder with yours. Your depressed, tear-ridden, sobbing buzz had worn off over the course of dinner, and you didn’t think that the mood would creep back in once you were alone again. 
“I’ll walk through the apartment buildings tomorrow and see if I can get up to the Cape at some point in the next couple of weeks. The pictures and notes from the inspection look promising. If I dip into the good faith deposit, maybe I could get the Cape Cod house fixed up and sold before the summer.” 
“Or you could keep it as a rental property.” 
“Mm.” “You always liked the Cape in the winter…For some reason.” 
“I kinda like when it’s all grey and gloomy…and quiet.” 
“Be a good base for your Cambridge operation.” 
“Oh, please,” You chuckled. “It’s not even close. The red line doesn’t exactly go all the way to Hyannis.” 
The two of you slowed as you neared your landing, listening closely. 
“...Think the coast is clear?” Harvey murmured. 
“For now, at least.” You fished into your pocket for your keys. “Thanks for dinner.” 
“Sure. Remember what I said.” 
“I will.” 
“Call me if you need anything.” 
Anything. That was new. You nodded, gaze set on your keys as he turned to go back downstairs. 
“...Harvey?” 
“Yeah?” He stopped just a few steps away, and you had to scrounge up your courage to turn and look at him again. 
“I don’t, um…” You swallowed thickly. “I’m gonna wanna talk about it.” You watched Harvey’s face shift with grim understanding. 
“I don’t want to litigate that.” 
“Isn’t that your job?” 
“Not like this.” 
“Not tonight,” You reiterated, “But…Sometime. Please.” 
Harvey’s jaw went tight, but he gave you a short, firm nod before he turned away. You watched him round the corner, and listened until his footsteps faded and the front door opened downstairs. 
--  
The apartment buildings weren’t anything special. Stripped of most of their insulation, and with several of the windows already removed, the wind that pushed through them made the buildings sound like they were breathing. It was eerie, and chilly. You tightened your coat around yourself as you went from floor to floor, eyeing damaged pipes, areas where someone seems to have come in and rooted around for copper wiring, and the billowing plastic that marks off some doors that have been removed. 
The paperwork on this building listed the purchase date as nearly a year ago. 
A year ago, you and Steven had been discussing expanding your current operations. Maybe he hadn’t gotten sick of you yet. Maybe he’d bought you the buildings as a present and stopped work when things turned sour…Whenever that had been. 
There had been signs, sure, but Steven always had been temperamental. 
You pushed the thought away as you drew in a deep breath, turning toward the stairs. It wouldn’t do to overthink this just now. If needed, you could panic looking at the Hamptons, or Cape Cod…Or Gstaad, if you ever found a way to get to Gstaad. 
You reached into your pocket as your phone buzzed, drawing it out to find an incoming call. You groaned, stomping your foot petulantly before you raised it to your ear. 
“Jessica, I’m a little busy—” 
“I need you to come into the office.” 
Your fingers tightened around your phone as your palm began to sweat. 
“What happened?” 
“I’d rather discuss this in person.” “Jessica.” 
“Come to the office.” 
She hung up without another word. You swallowed thickly, lowering your phone and watching her call blink and then disappear. If she wasn’t willing to discuss it over the phone, whatever it was had to be very, very bad. 
-- 
“Cheese fries?” 
“Jessica,” You groaned, “Come on, there is no way that that’s why you called me here.” 
“No, it isn’t. But I’d like to remind you that you should remain fighting fit and cheese fries are not the way to do it.” 
“My life has fallen apart and dipped into a moderately humiliating place. I think I’m allowed to have a few cheese fries. Why did you tell me to come in.” 
“I have someone that I would like you to meet.” 
“I’m not going to start dating anyone now.” 
“Well, we can attack that another time. This is for your defense.” 
“Harvey’s on that.” 
“Your divorce.” 
“You know that I can’t afford a defense right now.” 
“I don’t mind getting a start while you get the pieces in place.” 
The man’s voice caught you off-guard, and you turned to find a man leaning in the doorway. Your brow furrowed a touch as you took him in—the long lean of his body, the neatly fitted charcoal suit and sky-blue tie, the curl of his dark hair, the twinkle of his warm chestnut eyes, and his small, intrigued smile. 
“Well that’s very kind of you, whoever the hell you are, but I don’t exactly have anything on the board right now.” 
“The fact that you even have a board is encouraging.” 
“...This metaphor is beginning to exhaust me.” 
“This,” Jessica stepped past you to gesture the man deeper into the room, “Is David Alford.” 
“Alford?” You repeated. “Like the plea?” 
“No relation. What would you know about an Alford plea?” 
“I know of it.” 
“How’s that?” 
“Well, I used to date a lawyer.” 
“Lucky guy.” 
“I don’t think he’d agree with you, as evidenced by the fact that he is no longer my boyfriend.” 
“It’s nice to meet you.” 
You shook his hand lightly, still wary from the ambush. 
“Look, Mr. Alford—” 
“David, please.” 
“—I don’t know what Jessica’s told you about my situation—” 
“She didn’t have to tell me much. Forgive my bluntness, but your name has come up in our circles over the last couple of weeks.” 
“Well, forgive my bluntness, but it’s not my circle anymore.” 
“It could be again.” 
“Are you going to get me a circle back in the divorce?” 
“I’m gonna get you whatever the hell you want in your divorce.” 
You let out a soft, disbelieving laugh, unable to help yourself. 
“O-kay,” You lowered your hand. 
“Why don’t I see what we can do about getting some coffee,” Jessica offered. “You two talk.” 
Your brows furrowed as she waved the two of you more deeply inside. Jessica, at least pretending to get coffee? Damn, she really did want the two of you to talk. You gave David a polite smile as you lowered yourself to sit.
“I’m sorry she dragged you in here.” 
“Wasn’t much of a drag. My office is a block away.” 
“Well, then I’m glad you haven’t come far for nothing.” 
“Nothing?” His brows jumped as he sat beside you. “I don’t understand.” 
“I’m not currently looking for a divorce lawyer.” 
“You need one.” 
“That is beyond the point, Mr—” 
“David.” 
“...Mister David,” You bit out pointedly, and fought back a wave of annoyance at his amused smile. “I’m not sure how much Jessica has told you, but there are a lot of things up in the air right now. I’ve socked away some money for my defense, but not enough.” 
“How would you know what’s enough?” 
“...Let’s pretend that I don’t know anything about the law, or the legal quagmire that I’ve gotten myself into. Let’s pretend that all I know about my soon to be ex-husband’s business is that he has a lot more money than I do. The two of us went into our marriage with about 600 bucks and a dream held together with tape and spit. I have watched, and I have helped my husband build up his business for the last eleven years. I have signed contracts, I have signed purchase orders, I have signed mortgages, I have signed deeds. Even if I wasn’t paying attention to what I was signing, I would know that Steven has amassed a lot of cash, a massive legal team, as well as a significant number of holdings—in both our names. He has a lot of power in this equation, and I do not. Whatever comes down the pike, it is going to be a protracted legal battle. If I was optimistic, I would figure that this would take about a year, but I’m not, and I know that it could take a few.”  
David’s dark eyes darted fascinatedly across your face before he offered: “But you do know a lot about Mr. Hayward’s business.” 
“Yes, I do.” 
“Because it was your business, too.” 
You averted your gaze from him as that washed over you. His acknowledgement made your heart knock hollowly against your ribs, and it took all of your strength not to slouch dejectedly in your chair. 
“...Yes,” You agreed. “It was.” “I understand that you’re discouraged. I would be, too, a lot of women are in your position.” 
“Exactly what position is that, Mister David.” 
His smile flattened with nerves, and he let out a huffed, joyless laugh. 
“I mean, having been served—” 
“A piping-hot plate of out on my ass?” 
“If that’s what you’d like to call it—”
“I call it that because that’s what it is, not because I like it that way.”
“I understand. Look,” David shifted in his seat, twisting to face you a little more. “I think that regardless of when you get your pieces in place, you have a real case here. I think I can get you half.” 
If you had a touch less decorum, you would have jumped out of your seat and screamed—both from the excitement, and the certainty that David Alford was out of his mind. Instead, you blinked twice, and once you managed to unstick your tongue from the roof of your mouth, asked:
“Half?” 
“Yes ma’am.” 
“There is no way.” 
“You’d be surprised.” 
“I don’t think I would, because I’m almost certain that’s impossible.” 
“Well, it certainly would be before.” 
“What exactly has changed?” 
“You didn’t know me. You do now.” 
You smiled in spite of yourself at the brash, almost fearless way that he said it. As skeptical as you were, you knew that this was exactly what you needed: someone as bold, confident, and fearless as—
“What a cozy little conference this is.” 
You turned back at the sound of Harvey’s voice, smiling a little. “Looking to join the fun?” 
“If I can hazard a guess at Jessica’s matchmaking, Alford is the one joining the fun.” 
“Specter,” David greeted, pushing himself out of his seat. “Haven’t seen you at the squash courts recently.” 
“I’ve been trolling the back nine,” Harvey offered, shaking David’s hand. “Nice to see you, Pleas and thank you.” 
Your brow furrowed at the term. “What?” 
“It’s what some of the guys at the club call me. You know, my name—” 
“Alford pleas and thank you.” You scrubbed your hand across your brow. “God, that’s dumb.” 
“We can’t all be queens of quip.” 
“You poor things,” You shot back scathingly. Harvey shot you a wink before turning back to David. 
“So, David, whaddaya say?” Harvey plied. “You filling the gap?” 
“Yeah, I’d love to fill ‘er in.” 
You didn’t miss his innuendo, nor the speculative, open, sweeping gaze that David leveled at you. Your brows inched toward your hairline, stunned at his brazenness. Surely you hadn’t seen it right—
“Coffee?” 
Your focus was broken at the sound of Jessica’s voice, and the sight of a coffee tray being wheeled in behind her. You let yourself be busied by it. You focused on your coffee, made it the way you liked, and let Jessica and David and Harvey talk about what you could reasonably expect out of the divorce battle. 
Reasonably, as if this entire situation hadn’t been insanely unreasonable. 
But you let yourself sit, and listen, and save your speculation for the train ride home. 
You must’ve read his look wrong, or misunderstood. He didn’t mean it like that. 
And even if he did, finding that look intriguing was incredibly appropriate. But it didn’t matter! Because he didn’t mean it like that. 
…And even if he did, it was probably just something that he tried to bring you on board. But it didn’t matter, because he did not mean it like that. 
Though if he did, it really wouldn’t matter, because it would be grounds for him to be disbarred. Nothing was going to happen…Even if you did find him attractive, and found his blunt approach and self-assured nature very, very hot. 
But you were not going to fuck him.
--  
“Don’t fuck him.” 
You had expected the warning to come from Jessica, but to hear it from Harvey of all goddamn people made you gape at him in shock. He just gave you a knowing look before he turned back toward the beer that he was opening. 
Your urge to have a drink that evening hadn’t been strong, but it had been there, and it had made you think of Harvey’s offer from the day before. You hadn’t expected such a quick response to your simple text of ‘Beer?’, but he had turned up a mere half hour later, a fresh six pack in hand. He had shrugged off his jacket, tossed it on to your bed, and walked over to your kitchenette—where he proceeded to say the most heinous thing.
“Excuse me?” You finally managed. 
“You heard me.” 
“I don’t think I did, actually, not properly, because it sounded like you just gave me an order that you had no business giving.” 
“I have plenty of business.” 
“No—” 
“Don’t—” 
“No no no, you do not, not here, and not like that.” 
“I’m just saying,” Harvey turned from the counter, planting his hand on the cruddy formica, “That I know—” 
“Do not say that you know me.” 
His expression darkened, and you watched as he drew in a deep breath. “I know him.” 
“...He has to be good, or Jessica wouldn’t have pulled him on to my case.” 
“He’s a good lawyer, but he’s a scuzzy asshole.” 
“I know the type.” 
“You think I’m a scuzzy asshole?” 
Your gut dropped at the hint of anger seeping into his tone. 
“I meant Steven.” 
Harvey turned away, hand curling into a fist and knocking lightly on the counter. 
“Just…Be careful with him.” 
“You are the last person that has any right to lecture me on the care that I ought to take with the men in my life.”
“I’m not lecturing you—” 
“No, you’re warning me off, like a little kid that’s playing too close to an electric fence.” 
“It wouldn’t be the first time.” 
“Fuck you.” 
“Fine by me, as long as you don’t fuck David.” “Alright, you know what,” You pushed off of your bed, striding over to your door. “Get out.” 
“We’re not done talking about this.” 
“Yes, we are. Get out.” 
“We’re not done until—” 
“We’re done when I say we’re done!” You began to yank your door open. Harvey was across your small space in a moment, palm flat against the door as he shoved it shut behind you. 
“And what the hell gives you the right to decide that?” 
“Because it’s my turn!” You barked. “I get to decide when we’re done now.” 
“It stopped being your turn when you stormed out of my office.” 
“Then make the damn decision yourself and get the fuck out of my apartment!” 
“If you want to ruin that man’s career and your chances of getting anything that you want out of your divorce, you go right ahead.” 
“I am not going to fuck him, and I’m not going to get him disbarred, you ass.” 
“Good.” 
“And I deeply resent the implication that I’m so sex-starved and desperate that I’m willing to fuck anyone who gives me any goddamn attention.” 
“I did not—” 
“Yes, you did, you did the second you opened your mouth. By rights, if that’s your view of me, I should’ve tried to not only fuck Mike, but you, of all people.” 
“I never implied that you were sex starved, but if you were, you could do a lot worse than Mike—” 
“Oh, really—” 
“And a helluva lot worse than me.” 
“Oh, please! There is no way that I could do worse than you. There are dictators that I’d sooner fall into bed with.” 
“If all you’re cutting out is the bed, I can work with the rest.” 
You could’ve slapped him. He was close enough, and you could just imagine it—the way the flush of red would look spreading across his cheek. 
“What makes you think I’d ever allow you anywhere near me again, Specter?” 
“I’m pretty damn close now.” He shifted closer, stopping as the tips of his shoes brushed your socked feet.
“Against your better judgment.” 
“You want to put me in my place, sweetheart, you go right ahead.” 
“Don't call me that.” 
“Why not.” 
“Don’t you dare call me that.” 
“Give me a good reason not to.” 
“You haven’t earned it back.” 
“Any idea of how I might do that?” 
You bit him. You grasped his tie, tugged him in, and sank your teeth into his lower lip. You expected an argument, but Harvey just groaned, grasping you by the hips and shoving you back against the door. You released his lip, groaning as he swept his tongue into your mouth. Your hand unwound from his tie, breath leaving you in harsh puffs as Harvey’s smearing kisses trailed down your jaw to your neck. You arched up into his touch as his hands slipped under your t-shirt, palming and squeezing whatever skin he could reach. You reached down, hands fumbling with nerves and heat as you worked off his belt. 
Every time your mind began to race, Harvey managed to quiet it, with his teasing tongue, and nipping teeth, and grasping fingers. For all of his big talk about getting David disbarred, Harvey suddenly seemed to not give a damn about his own career—
You whined as Harvey yanked down the cup of your bra, knuckles toying with your pebbling nipple. You palmed his hardening cock through the soft fabric of his trousers, thrilling in his moan, and the press of his hips up against your touch. His fingers snaked beneath the band of your sweatpants, sweeping against your clit before swiping slower. 
“You’re already so goddamn wet,” He growled, easing a finger into you. You pressed into his touch, gritting your teeth as he goaded: “You like pissing me off this much?” 
“Condom?”
“Left pocket.” 
You reached into his pocket, brushing against his cock as you drew out the foil packet. Why wasn’t it tucked somewhere discreet, like his wallet? You pushed the thought away as you ripped the foil packet open with your teeth. Harvey let go of you just long enough to shove his pants down around his thighs, then push your sweatpants. 
“Turn around.” 
You passed him the condom before doing as you were told, leaning heavily against the door. You expected a stretch, but slick heat pressed between your spread thighs. Your mouth dropped open in a moan, eyes squeezing shut as Harvey lapped and laved your slick, heated skin. You reached back, fingers scrabbling to grasp the neat coif of his hair. 
“Harvey, damnit,” You gasped. “Just fuck me already.” 
He groaned in dissent, giving your lips one more sucking kiss before straightening fully. You felt one palm smooth over to your thigh, and saw the other rest against the door as he eased into you. Your lips parted with a gentle whine at the pleasurable throb of his cock stretching you. You planted your hand on the door beside his, steadying yourself as you adjusted.
He didn’t give you long. Harvey drew back before his hips snapped sharply. You pressed your cheek to the door, skin growing clammy between the flimsy particleboard and the hot panting of your breath. The harsh slam of his hips forced your body uncomfortably against the door. You let your eyes slide closed as Harvey’s hands covered yours, drawing them just above your head as he intertwined your fingers. The door rattled in the frame with each thrust. You whimpered as Harvey pressed his face into your neck, felt his hot breath and the rumble of his groans against your skin. 
Your thighs ached, and your heart pounded, and your cunt throbbed, and goddamn it felt so fucking good. 
The swell of your orgasm rose and crested sharply, and you didn’t bother to hide the shuddering of your moan, your grip tightening on Harvey's hands. He followed close behind, hips pounding and juddering before he slowed. The two of you stood still for a few long moments, listening to one another’s panting and coming down. Harvey carefully extricated your hands from yours, drawing away and leaving you half-bare and chilly against the door.
“...I need a beer,” Harvey muttered, voice hoarse.
“You left one on the counter.” 
“You want one?” 
“Yeah.” 
You reach down, tugging up your sweatpants as you gently peel yourself back from the door. 
“It’s probably going to be lukewarm,” Harvey warned.
“I don’t care.” You drew in a shaky breath as you walked back toward your bed. You’d already sworn that you wouldn’t let him into it. You lowered yourself to sit beside it, looking at the door as the swirl of confused thoughts shifted back to the fore. You watched Harvey tie off the condom and drop it into your trash bin. You tracked his movement—from cleaning up, to doing up his pants, to washing his hands. You didn’t bother to hide your open speculation as he opened another beer, then took the two up. You drew your legs together, biting your lip as your slick cunt pulsed.
Harvey lowered himself to sit beside you, holding a beer out and lightly knocking his against yours before you each took a drink. You winced a little at the taste. You should’ve listened to him—the taste of lukewarm beer was not appetizing. You saw Harvey reach up out of the corner of your eye as he loosened his tie. 
“...What was that about getting someone disbarred?” 
“Shuddup.” There was no heat to how he said it, and that was probably why it made you snort a laugh. 
“Harvey?” 
“What.” 
“Did you come over planning to fuck me?” 
“What?” 
“Why was there a condom in your pocket?” 
“I had a date.” 
Your brow furrowed as you took that in. 
“...When?”
“Tonight.” 
“Why aren’t you there?” 
“Because I’m here.” 
Harvey Specter broke a date. Harvey Specter broke a date for you. You leaned back against the bed again, biting the inside of your cheek to quell a wide grin. 
“Don’t read into it,” He added. 
“I’m not reading into anything…Apart from the fact that you seemed pretty sure you were going to get laid.” 
“I was.” 
“Arrange for that, did you?” 
“No need to arrange anything. I’m just good like that.” 
“Well. Can’t argue with that. For the record—” 
“What.” 
“You really have no say over who I do and don’t fuck.” 
“I know.” 
“Good.” 
“...You going to the Hamptons next weekend?” 
“Yeah.” “How are you getting up there?” 
“I was going to take the train.”
“I could give you a ride.” 
“You already have.” You cast Harvey a knowing smile, grin widening as he shot you a sidelong, unimpressed glance. Your smile turned to giggles as Harvey seemed to smile in spite of himself. 
“You really think we could stand to be in the car with one another for more than twenty minutes?” You prodded. 
“If not, we could always pull over and work out our differences.” 
“Pfft. No other weekend plans?” 
“Nope.” 
“Didn’t promise a rain check?” 
“Didn’t specify when it might happen.” 
“Mm. And why would you want to come with me?” 
“Steven could be watching those properties, waiting for you to turn up. You could benefit from having back up.” 
“You make it sound terribly sinister. Have you figured out how to bill Gstaad yet?” 
“I’m working on it.”
“Keep me updated.” 
“Sure.” 
“I don’t mean for, you know—I don’t want a vacation.”
“You’ve earned one.” 
“Whatever, I just don’t like to put something on the market without doing a walk-through myself.” 
“I understand.” 
You leaned back against the bed a little more heavily, gaze wandering toward the door, where a little bit of your makeup was smeared from the press of your cheek. 
“...Harvey?”
“Mm?” 
“Can we talk about it?” 
“The sex or the other thing?” 
“The other thing.” 
“I’ve already had one fight with you today. I don’t think I have the capacity for two...Do you?”
You shook your head. 
“Some other time,” He promised. 
“Sure.” 
-- 
You had seen the paperwork and the inspector’s notes, but to see the house in the Hamptons was a whole other story. The long gravel driveway was lined with a horse fence on the left, and a plain wood fence on the right. You didn’t bother to hide your open, stunned stares as you passed the stables. It was hardly the first time you’d seen a home like it, but it was unfathomable that Steven seemed to have not only put the house in your name, but completely forgotten about it. 
Harvey pulled the car into the neatly manicured lot. 
“Do you want to start in the stables, the house, the pool, the tennis court…?” He shut the car off, waiting for your reply. You shook your head. 
“I only care about the house,” You admitted. 
“So we won’t be walking the expansive lawns? I brought my sneakers.” 
“Do I even want to know how expensive those sneakers are?” 
“They’re worth more than your apartment.” 
“I’m willing to believe that.” You climbed out of the car, eyeing the inspector’s report as you rounded toward the front steps. You turned from the paperwork to take in the house’s appearance more clearly. It was…Ugly. The large, L-shaped, gray-brick building had the modernistic development of the fast-casual apartment buildings in the city, with some of the gauche touches of your penthouse, like the expansive floor-to-ceiling covering nearly the entirety of the bottom of the floor. You could see a balcony on the left side of the house, and another around the other end of the L. 
“...This is different.” 
“It’s criminal,” You muttered. 
“Are you saying that because he forged your signature, or because it’s ugly as sin?” 
“Both. Come on.” 
You walked up to the front door, punching in the code that the realtor had given you to get the door open. 
The foyer was as flat and uninspired as the outside of the house—white marble floors, grey walls, and sterling silver furnishings. You grimaced as you looked around. 
“Are we doing a complete walk through of this millennial grey gulag?”
“If you’re going to hate it, you can wait in the car,” You offered, glancing toward Harvey. “Apparently there are fifteen bedrooms and nine bathrooms, and I don’t know how much of your cute commentary I can deal with today.” 
“Seemed to handle it fine in the car.” Harvey turned left before you could say or do anything else, and you followed him, looking down at the property’s map. 
“This place oughta have one of those fricking mall maps with a star labeled ‘You Are Here’,” You grumbled. 
“Now who’s making cute comments.” 
– 
“My feet hurt,” You groaned, plopping onto a boxy, stiff-cushioned couch. 
“You’d think after the last couple of months of living in that walk-up, you’d be in better shape.”
“You’d think.”
“It’s all those cheese fries.”
“Oh—shut up.” 
“So, what do you think?”
“I think we throw it on the market for 18 million and I forget that it ever existed.”
“Why list it in your name, though?”
You shrugged, looking around. “Maybe it was in both our names when he bought it and the outcome was such a disaster he decided to leave my name on it. I think he designed it.”
“Really?” Harvey’s brows rose as he looked around. 
“Oh, god yeah. Steven can be smart, but he’s never really had any design sense. I wound up taking charge on some of our early flip projects because he just didn’t have the eye for it. He always tried, but I kinda wound up following behind and fixing his messes. If I had to guess, he bought this place to show me that he really could do it, and he just…Can’t.”
“Do you think Cape Cod and Gstaad will be the same?” 
“Doubtful. The report for Cape Cod said that the house was originally built in 1950…what. Four?”
“Something like that.” 
“It looks like he gutted it like he did the apartment buildings and realized how much of a project it would be. Gave up on it.” 
“And Gstaad?” 
“Work out how to expense the trip and we can talk.”
Harvey chuckled, wandering closer. “Should we christen it?”
“Christen what?”
“This house.”
“How?”
Harvey’s brows waggled salaciously, and you laughed, pushing yourself off of the couch. “Oh no, Specter. No way—”
“Why not?”
“You wanna christen every room? You don’t have the stamina for that—And I don’t have the patience.” 
“What about just in here?” He curled his arm around your waist, drawing you closer. “On that stupid couch, over the piano…How about up against the windows?” His voice dropped to a murmur. “There’s no one around for miles.” 
You rolled your eyes despite your amusement. 
“If you said that with the Kubrick stare, I’d think you were going all Jack Torrence on me.”
“Heeeeeeeere’s Harvey.”
“Ugh! God, let’s just go,” You pushed out of Harvey’s arms, heading for the door. “It’s kinda creepy being here, you know. Like Steven’s watching.” 
“The house can’t be haunted, he’s not dead.” 
“He is to me.”
“When are you planning on going to Cape Cod?” 
“Mm…Probably next week.”
“Driving up?”
“Taking the train.”
“Again with the train.” 
“I don’t have a car and I’m not going to rent one.”
“Are you staying overnight?”
“No.”
“You’re going to go up and back on the train in one day? That is a long day.”
“I can handle it.” 
“You’d be more comfortable in a car.” 
“Yeah, obviously—Eyes on the road, Specter.” You reached out, poking his cheek as he glanced over at you. He batted your hand away lazily before turning back to the road. 
“Why do you always insist on doing things in the most difficult way possible?”
“Because in most cases, the most difficult choice is also the most cost-effective. Efficiencies can be cruel, Harvey.”
“Cruel is an understatement.” 
“I can handle a day on the train.”
“If you say so.” 
“I do say so, thank you.” 
“Stubborn.” 
“...Do you wanna come up when we get back to my place?”
“What for?” 
You tipped your head to the side, waiting for Harvey to glance over before you teasingly waggled your brows.
“Oh, so now you want to?” 
“I wanted to then! But I couldn’t do it if I felt Steven looming over me. C’mon, Specter,” You reached out, gently teasing your nails along the back of his neck, and grinning as he shifted slightly in his seat. “See if you can get me any more out of breath than walking up six flights of stairs.” 
--  
“Hey, there you are! Jessica needs to—What’s that face for?” Mike’s concern fell away at the sight of Harvey’s self-satisfied smile as he stepped off of the elevator. Harvey gave a dismissive shrug. What the hell was he going to tell Mike? That he’d spent the weekend somewhere other than his place? That he had fallen asleep with her, and remembered how serene it used to be to wake up with her? That they’d hardly left her cruddy apartment—hell, they’d hardly left her bed? 
“Nothing. What were you saying?” 
“Jessica needs to see you.” 
“Right now?” 
No sooner had the words left his mouth did Jessica step out from around the corner, drawing him up short. 
“Yes,” She insisted firmly. “Right now.” 
Harvey had the strange sense of a child being marched to the principal as she led her way to her office. She shut the door behind the two of them, striding past him to her desk. 
“Can this wait?” Harvey hedged. “I’ve got coffee going cold on my desk.” 
“Well then, I’ll make this quick. Did you have a nice time this weekend?"
That should've been his warning. It was a solid leading question, and one that, on any other Monday, he would not have hesitated to answer. His eyes narrowed slightly, before he decided—Yes, she must have known that he drove to the Hamptons. Someone would have told Jessica: Mike was still in the habit of offering updates when he thought they would be helpful.
"Yes," He finally answered.
"Was it a productive trip?"
A second warning. Jessica was a strategist, and Harvey knew that any lawyer worth a damn didn't ask a question that they didn't already know the answer to. Still, he chose a carefully middle-of-the-road answer:
"She was happy to go through the home herself, set a listing price. Hopefully we can get it on the market and on its way as soon as possible.”
Jessica took that in thoughtfully, lips set in a placid smile.
"Were there any outstanding features?"
A third and final warning, but Harvey couldn't help but lean into it:
"Are we talking about the tennis court, the pool, the stables, or the thousand lawns?"
Jessica let out a tepid, flatly amused, "Hm," Before beckoning him closer. "Well if those all caught your eye, it would explain why you missed the cameras."
Harvey froze in his step, blood running cold. There was no way—Cameras? His gaze dropped to the laptop that she turned to face him. The black and white footage was grainy, but clear enough. Harvey watched as he wrapped his arm around her, drawing her into his chest. He could still feel the heat of her body, and the plush slide of her sweater beneath his fingers. He could see the gentle, adoring way that she gazed up at him before she nudged him away, leading the charge out of the house. 
‘It’s kinda creepy being here, you know. Like Steven’s watching.’ He didn’t know how, but she had felt it. 
"Where did that come from."
"I'll give you three guesses."
"Let me explain—"
"Explain what!" Jessica slammed the laptop closed, rounding the desk with self-righteous strides. "Explain what idiotic idea led to you putting on a show?"
"We didn't know that there were cameras."
"How long has this been going on?"
"We only went to see that one house."
Jessica's expression darkened as she shook her head.
"Don't play dumb with me, Harvey," She warned lowly. "How long have you been sleeping with her."
It hit him low in the gut. For a moment, he was too stunned to speak.
"She told you?"
"No, she didn't tell me. She didn't have to. It'll be plain as day to anyone who sees that footage."
"That’s not true, we were just—"
"Just what?"
"I was teasing her! It didn't mean anything."
"If I call and ask her, she'll say the same thing?"
He was certain of it. "Yes."
"Would she swear to it under oath? At a deposition? In court?"
His surety faltered, and his mouth worked wordlessly before he pursed his lips tightly. Jessica shook her head again.
"I am not the only one with access to this. Luckily for you—for both of you—she still has a friend or two on the inside. Aaron Delaney sent this to me before he deleted the original. He works closely with Steven, and has access to a few property accounts. He got an alert on his phone that someone had used the keypad to open the door."
"Has Steven seen it?"
"He isn't sure, but I'm not willing to take that chance. Louis will be taking over the Hayward case, and Mike will be assisting him."
"No, Jessica, that's not happening."
"It is, because I'm telling you that it is. You should be relieved. You never wanted it in the first place."
"Things are different now."
"You're damn right they are! What the hell were you thinking? Both of you?"
"Let me see this case through."
"If you see this through and Hayward does have access to this footage, you could be disbarred. You're going to hand the files over to Louis by the end of the day. He is expecting them. Mike will bring him up to speed and assist him until this mess is cleared up."
Harvey lowered his gaze to the floor as Jessica stepped around him, opening the door and waiting beside it. He curled his hands into fists in his pockets as he strode resignedly from the office.
"And so help you," Jessica warned as he passed, "If I hear that you are holding Louis up in any way."
Harvey only made it a few feet from the office before he pulled his phone out of his pocket, hurriedly dialing her number. It rang once...Twice...Three times...And went to voicemail.
"Damnit," He hissed, lowering the phone to redial. "C'mon, c'mon..." It rang once, "Pick up." Twice...
"Hey you."
"Where are you?"
"What do you mean?" She laughed, "I'm on my way to see Jessica for our check-in."
Fuck.
"How close are you?"
"I just got off of the elevator. Why?"
Harvey whirled around, eyes desperately searching for her through the gaggle of associates, paralegals, and lawyers going about their business.
"She knows."
"What?"
He could hear her frown. Harvey took three steps toward the elevator bay before he saw her come into view—and lock eyes with Jessica. He saw her body go tense, before her shoulders sagged with dejection.
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Hell," She sighed before hanging up.
--
"I'm not going to even begin to approach what you may have been thinking—"
"Jessica—"
"—Putting not only your future, Harvey’s future, and the future of this firm in jeopardy."
"I wasn't thinking."
"Clearly."
"We didn't even do anything at the house!"
"That doesn't make the slightest bit of difference."
You slid down in your seat as Jessica paced in front of you, her pace and turn reminiscent of a caged tiger.
"I did you a favor and this is how you repay me?" She finally stilled, nailing you with a cold gaze. You folded further under the crush of her look, so similar to the disbelief that she had leveled you with at her apartment not too long ago.
"I'm sorry."
"You should be." Jessica strode around her desk. "Your case has been reassigned to Louis Litt. Mike will stay on, provided you haven't fucked him, too."
Christ. "I made a mistake, alright? I told you I was sorry, and I meant it," You insisted. "Don't bring Mike into this when he hasn't done anything wrong."
Jessica bristled as she lowered herself into her seat.
"I don't want you associating with Harvey until this is over."
"Oh—Come on."
"If this footage were to come out, Harvey's conduct and ethics will be called into question. He'll be dragged into your divorce proceedings. Is that what you want?"
Your stomach churned uneasily as you considered it. You knew she was right. You shook your head a little, trying desperately to swallow past the lump that was forming in your dry throat.
"Louis and Mike will be in touch."
"Okay." You turned, heading for her office door, and stopping just before you opened it.
"...Is now a bad time to remind you that bringing Harvey onto my case was your idea?"
The chilling glare that she leveled with answered for her: Yes. It was a very bad time to remind her.
--
“You slept with—” 
“Shut the door and keep your voice down,” Harvey warned stonily. Before either of them could move toward his office door, Donna hurried into view, reaching for the handle. 
“You don’t wanna hear this?” Mike’s brows rose. “You of all people?” 
Donna waved him away, offering, “Intercom,” Before she shut the door. Harvey sighed heavily, lowering himself into his chair. 
“What happened?” Mike stepped closer to the desk. “I’m just—You two hate each other.” 
“Thank you for the reminder. I forgot about that.” 
“Harvey, c’mon,” Mike shook his head as he tried (and failed) to keep from smiling. “What happened?” 
“I went over to hang out.” 
“At her apartment?” 
“Yeah.” 
“Okay, and? Instead of hanging out you…Let it all hang out?” 
“Get out of my office.”
“If that was at her apartment, what happened in the Hamptons?” 
“Nothing happened in the Hamptons. The footage just…We got close, that’s all.” 
“That’s not enough to disbar you.” 
“Because you’re the expert on being disbarred? It’s enough to call my ethics into question…And Jessica’s right, no one needs that headache right now.”  
“So I’m stuck with Louis because you got close? Where’s the Specter spirit? No way are you going to watch this one from the sidelines.” 
On any other case, no, he wouldn’t. Harvey would insist on backseat driving. But on this one…He grimaced, dropping his gaze to his desk. 
“I want regular updates,” He insisted. “That’s all.” 
Mike nodded slowly, conceding: “Okay. But I’ll be ready when you change your mind.” 
-- 
"I'll come over."
He sounded so positive about it—like nothing had happened, or changed. You eyed the remaining trash bags, trying to scrounge up the conviction of an excuse. 
"I don't think that's a good idea right now."
"Why not?"
You know why. You shifted your phone from one hand to the other, tucking it between your shoulder and your ear as you reached out, gripping a bag to make it crinkle loudly.
"I've still got some sorting to do."
"I'll help you."
"Not tonight, Harvey."
"...She's not in charge of us, you know."
You tipped your head back against your wall, closing your eyes. "She's actually very much in charge of you."
"At work."
"I know, but I just..." You winced. "I think she's right. We should lay low for a while. If Steven did see that video before Aaron sent it to Jessica, we're both going to have a whole new mess that we're stepping into."
"I'm ready for it."
"...I don't know if I am."
His silence on the other end made you want to crawl out of your skin. "I can only fight one battle at a time, Harvey—And right now, I'm barely managing the big ones."
"Fine."
You knew that fine coming from him. It wasn't fine. It was I'm shutting down. It was I'm finished with this conversation. It was I'm finished with you.
"Harvey—"
You lowered the phone from your ear as the line cut off, watching the inevitable flashing and darkening of his contact. You bit the inside of your cheek, fighting back a fresh wave of tears. How, after all this time, was Harvey Specter still able to make you cry?
-- 
You became solitary again. Life narrowed. You saw Aaron a time or two, but he was so busy either working or gathering intel that you were hardly able to keep up with him. For as much of a lifeline as she had been, Jessica was still pissed, and you hardly spoke more than you needed to. Mike was a dear, checking in to see how you were doing, but most correspondence led inevitably to discussing closings, proceedings, contracts (and you couldn’t blame him for it; he was only doing his job). 
Louis was…A lot. He was very eager, that was clear, and had been working hard to push the sales of the apartment buildings and the home in the Hamptons through. David and his firm were digging into discovery, and were making headway. 
But you had so little life outside of your divorce. Most of your pieces were sold off, so you hardly had any day-to-day tasks to keep you busy—and everything in New York was so goddamn expensive. It felt like you spent $50 just stepping out your front door. There were days when you simply didn’t. It was cheaper to stay in, and quieter (so long as your neighbors didn’t have a screaming match that day).
Your life was four walls, a cruddy bed, rickety furniture. You spent too much time awake when you should’ve been sleeping; too much time reminiscing when you should have been moving on; too much time dwelling on the time that you spent with men in your life that probably wouldn’t spare you another thought. 
--  
Walking back into the firm was uncomfortable. You’d avoided it for as long as you could, but Mike insisted that there were a few documents that absolutely had to be seen and signed in the office. You’d made it an entire three weeks without so much as getting anywhere near the building. You found yourself avoiding even glancing in the direction of Jessica’s office. It was alright, though—Donna was a smiling, comforting presence the second you stepped off of the elevator. 
“Find the place alright?” She teased. 
“I did, thank you. I’ve only been here a dozen times in the last couple of months.” 
“It’s been a few weeks. We thought you’d forgotten where we were.” 
You smiled tightly. You were certain that she knew everything that had gone on—she was the eyes and ears of the place. 
“You know, it’s the funniest thing,” You drawled sarcastically, “I kept coming to the right building and getting off on the wrong floor.” 
“Happens to the best of us. C’mon.” 
You frowned as she led you away from the usual conference rooms, and even further away from Louis’ office. You couldn’t imagine where the heck she was taking you—and your confusion deepened as she opened the door to a room lined with files. She nodded you inside, a knowing smile on her lips as she warned: 
“Two minutes.” 
Two minutes? Until what?
“Thanks, Donna.” Harvey’s voice made you freeze, and you could do nothing but watch Donna close the door behind herself. You looked down at the floor, your hands wringing as you heard Harvey come closer. You felt him stop close behind you, close enough to feel the heat of him.
“...Are you going to look at me?” He hedged softly. 
“No need. I know what you look like.” 
He sighed softly, stepping around to stand in front of you. You watched as his shoes and pant legs came into view. 
“...And you’re just going to look at my shoes now?” 
“They’re nice shoes. Look expensive.” 
“They are.” 
“Figures.” 
“I’m sorry.” 
You looked at him fully, finally, stunned. You were surprised at how drawn he looked. Sure, his suit was impeccable, and his hair was frustratingly perfect, but you could see tiredness around his eyes. 
“You’re going through hell right now,” Harvey went on, “You don’t need me to pile on to that. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.” 
You nodded slowly as you took it all in. “Well. We should never have, um…” You cleared your throat, averting your gaze again. “It was stupid.” 
“You regret it?” 
“It’s not worth risking your career over.” 
“That’s not what I asked.” Harvey closed the space between the two of you, and you had to force yourself not to lean into him the way you wanted—the way you’d missed for weeks. 
“Harvey,” You warned softly. “I can’t keep playing tug of war with you like this. I’m already at the end of my damn rope.” 
“I know.” 
You closed your eyes at the feeling of his palms sliding warmly over your arms, trailing down until he could gently intertwine your fingers. 
“I’ll be on my best behavior,” He promised, “Until we’re on the other side of this, and your business with the firm is closed out.” 
“And then what?” 
“And then I’ll give you hell.” You spluttered a laugh, unable to help it. Harvey chuckled softly, his nose nudging yours gently. 
“I should go,” You warned softly. “Louis will come looking for me.” 
“Donna will keep him at bay.” 
“She said two minutes. It’s been at least three—” You hardly had time to finish your protestation before Harvey kissed you. You swayed into him, lips slipping tenderly against his as he used his grasp to draw you flush against him. You wiggled your hands from his, curling your arms around his shoulders to keep close. You startled at the two knocks on the door, and smiled as Harvey groaned in irritation. 
“I should let you go,” He mumbled. You nodded, murmured,
“Probably.” 
But neither of you rushed to move. 
-- 
“I'm sorry to see you go. I've enjoyed our time together."
You sort of believed it, given the pinched, almost pained look that Louis leveled you across the desk. And, for all of your work with him over the last three months, you'd gained a sort of affinity for the man...Even if he was a little intense in a way that sometimes confused you. You smiled, taking up the final few documents that you would need for your record.
"I appreciate that, and thank you for all of your hard work, Mr. Litt. It's been..." You weighed your words carefully, "Interesting."
"For me, too. Reach out if you need anything else—doc review, mover recommendations, tickets to the ballet. Anything."
"Tickets to the ballet? I'm impressed." You held your hand out, smiling as he stood and pumped it enthusiastically. "Thank you again."
You were hardly four steps out of Louis' office when you found yourself flanked in the hallway.
"We should celebrate," Harvey insisted.
"And how would we do that?"
"Dinner at La Belle Vache."
Your brows rose as you glanced toward Mike.
"’The beautiful cow’?"
"Harvey's idea."
"With a restaurant name like that, it would have to be."
"Hey, that is not fair! I could be posh."
"It wouldn't suit you, Mr. Ross."
"Is that a yes or a no to dinner?" Harvey plied.
"When?"
"You busy tonight?"
"If I told you I had plans, would you believe me?"
"Not for a second."
"Well, I do."
"Cancel 'em."
"It's with my divorce lawyer."
"And here feels like a good stopping point for me." Mike wheeled around, striding back in the direction that he came.
"What the hell does David want with you after hours?" 
"Deposition starts next week. We're drilling testimony."
"As long as that's all he's drilling."
"Watch it, Specter." You reached out, jabbing the down button on the elevator before turning back to Harvey. He pouted contemplatively before offering: "What about this weekend?"
"I think I could swing this weekend. Is dinner on the firm?"
"It's on me."
"Do you think..." You trailed off, glancing toward Jessica's office, "That the powers that be will approve?"
"Honestly?" Harvey lowered his voice,"I don't give a damn. It's been months. Your business here is wrapped. If Jessica wants to give me a good reason why I can't see you, she's welcome to try—but it won't work."
You bit the inside of your cheek to quell a smile as you reached out, gently straightening Harvey's tie.
"Very forceful, Mr. Specter."
"You like it?"
"It's kinda hot." You turned back and stepped onto the elevator as it chimed.
"This weekend," You finally agreed. "Invite Mike—He's earned several dinners."
"He sure has."
The doors began to close, but Harvey darted in, catching them before they could shut all the way. He darted in, pressing a swift, warm kiss to your lips before he drew away again. You grinned as he stepped back, allowing the doors to close.
--
"As long as that's all he's drilling."
The memory of Harvey's teasing warning was on your mind throughout your time with David, and you found yourself fighting back smiles all evening.
"Do you have any plans for the weekend?"
David watched you from beneath his lashes as he asked, and where that look had intrigued you once, you knew better. You gave a short, firm nod, and insisted: "I have a date."
Your battle with Steven was far from over. You still had forgery cases pending, and your divorce case had hardly begun. But things felt a little lighter these days.
You had a direction, you had cash flow...But you didn't quite have the plan that you once did. You had told Harvey months ago that you were considering moving to Cambridge. It hadn’t completely ceased to be true, but it wasn’t your only consideration anymore. 
There were moments when you could see the glimmer of a life to carve out for yourself: a smaller real estate firm with a few employees—maybe Aaron, if you could lure him away from Steven; a more comfortable apartment than where you were now, but you could live with where you were for a few more months as you got things in order; and, at the very least, a friendship with Harvey. You didn’t know if what the two of you were doing would be sustainable, and you weren’t sure whether either of you really wanted to know—but after all this time, you thought that maybe the two of you deserved another chance. 
--  
“Impressed?” 
It was a fair question, but you were doing your best to school your expression. You didn’t want Harvey to know outright how much you did like his apartment. It was nothing less than you expected—large (though not quite in the palatial way that your old penthouse was), tastefully decorated, with a gorgeous view. You knew why Harvey had brought you up, of course, but now he was just showing off. 
Dinner had been its own round of grandstanding. You and Mike had watched, bemused, as Harvey had gone out of his way to pronounce all of the dishes in a French accent to the clearly not French (but feigning awe) waiter (who you were sure had to deal with this multiple times a day). Harvey had also taught you and Mike a thing or two about wine—or he had tried to, until Mike seemed no longer able to help himself and corrected Harvey on multiple facts about the Rhône valley in the south of France. 
It had been a far more pleasant evening that you had expected to have, and far more jovial than you’d had in a long time. Mike and Harvey were close; you and Harvey had a history; you and Mike had become friends over the course of your time working with him. When Mike had insisted that you all had to do this again sometime, you believed that he meant it. And when Harvey had invited you both up for a nightcap, Mike had politely declined with a smile and a shake of his head, offering:
“I think I should let you two have some time to do…Whatever it is that you need to do.” 
You hadn’t been entirely sure what he’d meant, or what Harvey had told him. You were almost certain that he would’ve been told why Harvey had been taken off of your case in the first place. And sure, now and again, over dinner, you and Harvey had caught one another’s eye, maybe shared a smile. Maybe he’d rested his hand on your knee a time or two, given it a squeeze—because he could. Because the two of you were close and on even footing for the first time in a while. 
“It’s…” You trailed off, shrugging. “Certainly an apartment.” 
“Oh, please,” Harvey scoffed, taking two wine glasses down from the cabinet. “You’re impressed.” 
“It’s nicer than I thought it would be.” 
“You’re dazzled.” 
“I like the kitchen.” 
“You’re helplessly turned on.” 
“‘Helplessly’ is pushing it.” 
“So you admit that you’re turned on?” 
You rolled your eyes, no longer bothering to fight your smile off. 
“Maybe,” You offered, settling onto the couch and kicking off your shoes. Harvey joined you moments later, passing you a glass of wine and gently clinking his against yours before you each took sips. His gaze remained heavy on yours, and he leaned in for a gentle kiss as soon as you lowered your glass. You hummed, raising a hand and cupping his jaw. You leaned back just a touch, smiling as he crowded closer, dipping his head to brush kisses along your neck as his warm palm gently smoothed up your thigh. 
“...Harvey?” 
“Sure, I can show you the bedroom.” 
You laughed softly, shaking your head a little. “Can we talk about it?” 
He groaned, forehead dropping heavily against your shoulder. “Why do you always insist on ruining a perfectly good time?” 
“Like when?”
“Like when we were in the Hamptons.” 
“You thank your lucky fucking stars that I put a stop to that.” 
“Yeah,” He grumbled, leaning back. You watched him swirl his wine in his glass. 
“Please,” You pleaded softly. 
“...I didn’t write the note.” 
Fuck. 
“Okay.” 
“I wrote a note, but…Not that one.” 
“Who wrote that one?” 
“Scottie.” 
“...Okay.” 
“I couldn’t find the one I’d written, she insisted that I couldn’t leave you with nothing.” 
“Well, she was right.” 
“Yeah.” 
You that that sink in for a moment before you pressed: “Why did you leave?”
“I had doubts.” 
“About me?” 
“About us. You know how my parents were, you know…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “You know what I saw.” 
“And you thought I would do that to you?” 
“I was afraid of it.” 
“If you were afraid of it, then you thought I was capable of it.” 
“—And when you got married to Steven so quickly—” 
“Oh—!” The heavy, stunned, indignant laugh was pained as it left you. You pushed off of the couch, standing and walking out of Harvey’s reach. You heard him sigh heavily behind you, chased by the clink of him setting his wine glass down as he muttered, “This is why I didn’t want to talk about this.” 
“Do you know why I got married so quickly?” You whirled around to face him. 
“Because you loved Steven?” 
“I never said that. I thought I loved him a bit, sure, but I was afraid that this,” You waved a finger between the two of you, “Would happen again. I thought he would leave. I was afraid that I would spend my entire life being left. So when Steven showed me the slightest bit of attention, I latched on. We eloped. He wanted a big wedding, but I just,” You waved your hand around, “I couldn’t do that a second time. Any of it. I didn’t get a new dress, neither of our families were there, because I knew that they would all watch me, and him, and they’d be thinking it: Is it going to happen again?” 
“You’re saying your entire life with Steven was my fault?” 
“I’m saying that I made a choice, and that what happened with you was a factor—Not a fault, a factor. And why!” You let out another harsh hysterical laugh as tears welled in your eyes, “Why didn’t you just talk to me? What did I do then to make you think that you couldn’t talk to me?”
“I wasn’t ready!” 
“And we could have talked about that! What made you think that I wouldn’t have been alright with moving the wedding back, or going to counseling with you, or whatever you would have needed to get us there?”
“You wanted to get married.”
“I wanted you, Harvey! I would have waited, I—” You turned away, sniffling heavily as tears slipped from your eyes. “Fuck. Ugh.” You raised your glass, draining it before striding over the counter, desperate to put some more distance between the two of you. You set the glass down and yanked a paper towel off of the roll, swiping at your under eyes to clear away any running mascara. You blew your nose as well before balling up the tissue and lobbing it toward the trash can. You heard Harvey’s approaching footsteps, and you pulled in a deep, stuttering breath as he rested his hands on your shoulders. 
“...There’s no way for me to take back or change what I did.” 
“Would you if you could?” 
“Yes.”
“...Okay.” 
“Do you believe me?” 
“I don’t know.” 
He sighed, pressing a kiss to the back of your head as his hands soothingly rubbed over your arms. You sniffled again, swiping away a stray tear before resting your hands on the counter. 
“You changed the way that I love, Harvey,” You shook your head. “For better or worse, whether you meant to or not, you changed it.” You glanced back toward him. “I can’t get those bits of myself back. You took them from me.” 
“I know. I took them from both of us.” 
You nodded, slowly letting yourself lean back against him. His arms curled around your middle, and you heard a soft, almost relieved groan leave him. You let your eyes close as he pressed a kiss to your temple. The two of you stood there in silence for a few moments, allowing yourselves to settle. 
“...Stay tonight?” He murmured after a few moments. You nodded, smiling as his hold tightened on you again, as if wary that you would change your mind. 
-- 
He had a few more smile lines. His hair still mussed the same; he still made little mumbling noises as he slowly rose from sleep to consciousness. He was still a furnace to sleep beside, and he still held you through the night. It was almost a relief that none of that had changed. 
Waking up in his arms made you feel like it had when you were younger: safe, and loved, and wanted. You hadn't appreciated it when you'd had it just a few months ago, but you were desperate to catch on to every little bit of him now.
You were never going to be able to turn back the hands of time—to go back and warn him, or yourself, or someone that your first wedding day would be a disaster, that it would set you off on a path that you could never have anticipated for yourself. Discussing what had happened hadn't truly healed any of your old wounds.
But as the sun began to creep over the Manhattan skyline and seep into Harvey’s bedroom, you felt closer to peace than you had in a long, long time. 
Harvey snuffled, nuzzling your shoulder as his fingers curled in your borrowed nightshirt. 
“You awake?” He mumbled, the same low, gravely murmur that you had once loved, and missed. 
“Mmmhm.” 
“Want coffee?” 
“Yes.” 
He yawned widely, pressing his face into your shoulder and warming your skin through the fabric. “Bagels?” 
“Sure.” 
“‘Kay.” 
Neither of you made a move to get either. Instead, you combed your fingers through his hair, closed your eyes, and listened to the steady rise and fall of his breathing as you both fell back asleep. 
Tag list: @missredherring ; @fantasticcopeaglepasta ; @massivecolorspygiant ; @blueeyesatnight ; @amneris21 ; @ew-erin ; @youngkenobilove ; @carbonated-beverage​​​ ; @lorecraft ; @moonlightburned ; @milf-trinity ; @millllenniawrites ; @chattychell ; @dihra-vesa​ ; @videogamesandpoorlifechoices​ ; @missswriter ; @thembosapphicclown ; @brandyllyn ; @wildmoonflower ; @buckybarneshairpullingkink ; @mad-girl-without-a-box ; @winchestershiresauce ; @gina239 ; @technicallykawaiisoul ; @coldheart-lonelysoul ; @kathrinemelissa ; @jacxx2 ; @pillowjj ; @chanaaaannel ; @avampirescholar ; @kmc1989 ; @mythical-goth ;
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whoistartaglia · 1 year
Note
not necessarily a request but in response to your “i’ll save you a seat” post, i’d like to imagine scenerios where you (reader) gets to the door before xiao and open it and he just—malfuctions—error error!! and he silently closes the door infront of you only to open it again for you!! maybe this even turns into some strange competition where you and xiao fight to open the door for one another lol (xiao will always win because he just closes the door again and then opens it)
ANON DKSOEMLSLS I DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THIS BUT HE TOTALLY WOULD
spiritual successor to this (i suggest reading first)
as for the rest of them…
wanderer puts his hand over the edge of the table only to accidentally smack you in the head. hey, it’s not his fault! at least, that’s what he tells you when you’re rubbing the welt on your forehead. you bent down so suddently that he had no choice to move quickly. should you mention that he probably did more harm than the table, he’ll grumble that he would have picked whatever you dropped up for you.
diluc double flips over your pillow. you left to get up, he flipped it over as a sleeping diluc does and then he does it. again. maybe he was extra tired or thought you got up again. to be honest, you didn’t really know of this habit of his until the mistake. you come back to a warm pillow and snoring diluc, and turn it over yourself. this may or not may wake up diluc, and he may or may not flip it over onto the warm side yet again.
kaveh reminds you if you have everything but he should honestly save a reminder for himself. once or twice or three times he’s left the house without his keys, his work, his shoes (that was a strange occasion and he still didn’t realize for a solid ten minutes). you’ll have everything you need to get through the day, but kaveh will have to make a pit stop back at the house to pick up his own forgotten items.
childe makes you too many snacks at once. when he brought over the first one, you thanked him with a genuine smile. the second time, you still had some of the first snack left, but thanked him anyways. the third time you got a little concerned; the fourth… well, you at least finished the first snack by now. you have to tell him that it’s okay! you don’t need a fifth right now! (he already has it ready to go—you’ll find him eating it alone in the kitchen).
zhongli goes into debt. listen, he’s still getting used to this whole mortal thing, and honestly, not having access to infinite mora definitely blows. he’ll find some gift he absolutely must buy for you only to realize he has only one golden coin left on him. later that night, he’ll still give you that gift, and if his smile looks somewhat strained, it’s because he had to get a certain someone to pay for it.
kaeya’s brain kind of short stops when he sees you get to the tavern before him. oh, you’re already sitting down, look at that. that’s fine and all, he wants to be the one to save you a seat. so you’ll look over when kaeya still hasn’t joined you and find him sitting at another table alone. that’s strange, what’s he doing there? you walk over to him and he pulls out the chair for you, and so your seat for the night as once again been saved.
alhaitham will get annoyed if you fall asleep during a good part of the story. like, yeah, that’s point of him reading to you but, really, did you have to fall asleep during the best part? he has two options: gently shake you awake to finish the chapter, or let you sleep like intended. his choice will depend on what book he’s reading, but if he wakes you because it’s a research paper and you just got to the oh-so important findings, feel free to take the paper of his hands, drop it on the floor, and go back to sleep. he can continue in the morning.
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padfootagain · 2 months
Text
Only an Almost (I)
Chapter 1 : For the Best
Hello!! Here is a new series! I’ve already finished writing and proofreading it, and I’ll be posting two chapters per week! I hope you’ll like it!
Please, tell me what you think!
*************************************
Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader, friends with benefits AU
Warning: No explicit smut or nsfw content, but there are sexual themes and heavy make-out sessions (it’s a friends with benefits AU, I can’t really escape it), so 18+ only!
Summary: Andrew has been in love with you for years, and yet he has never confessed his feelings. But a night out celebrating the engagement of his best friend changes everything. However, you don't seem ready to be with him just yet. You make him an offer that he can't refuse... but will certainly regret.
Word Count : 2739
Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist
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It was a logical decision.
That’s what Andrew kept telling himself. As he watched you pick up your clothes, scattered across his bedroom floor, he forced his mind to form the same thought over and over again.
This is for the best. There’s no choice.
It was part of the deal. You never stayed for the entire night, and he didn’t linger long enough to fall asleep in your arms. Made it easier. Avoiding getting attached, avoiding stepping into any type of complication. You had sex, and then you were gone. On the side, you were good friends.
Best friends.
Something like that. Something in between good and best, he would say. Good didn’t sound strong enough to describe your friendship. It explained why it all happened in the first place, why you started casually hooking up about three months ago. After your first kiss, you decided to establish a simple rule.
If we do this, it can’t be anything but sex. We can’t get attached like this.
Romantically, that’s what you meant by this. And Andrew got it, of course. He spent most of his time abroad, it was the only logical decision. Besides, he had tried before to have serious relationships, but every time the same scheme repeated itself: he would leave for tour, and everything would fall apart. The distance always extinguished the flame. That and the fact that he was so busy he barely had time to sleep, let alone dedicate quality time to anyone. And he understood, of course, he couldn’t complain about being dumped when he spent a grand total of 20 minutes on the phone with his partner in the span of a day, when he got lucky. He got it, the ghostly presence, the lingering pain of being apart, the estrangement that came with the oblivion of the other’s life. He knew what it felt like, and he understood that others were not ready to go through that for him. He wasn’t worthy of it. It was alright…
And he understood that you didn’t want to get dragged into his mess of a life. To be fair, he didn’t want to drag you into this either, and he agreed when you offered this arrangement. He didn’t feel like he had a choice that day, when you made him this offer so casually, in front of a cup of tea. He could have said no, but his feelings for you were way too strong for that. Better have a little bit of you than nothing at all…
Friends by day, sex by night, no romantic feelings. Sounded simple enough.
“Damn… where’s my other sock?”
You looked around frantically, searching for the tiny piece of garment. Andrew spotted it by the door. He didn’t say anything about it.
“You’re coming to Alex’s party tomorrow?” he asked instead, voice a little hoarse after the sounds you had torn from him tonight.
“Hmm… yeah, probably. He’ll have my head if I don’t, anyway.”
“Perhaps not your head, but definitely your sanity.”
“He does hold grudges like no one else…”
Andrew stared as you buttoned your jeans, still searching the room for your lost sock, the one he didn’t help you to find. He readjusted the blanket higher on his torso, feeling self-conscious now that he was the only one left naked.
“Want me to pick you up?” he offered, and you nodded with a grin.
“Yeah, that would be nice! That way I can get properly sloshed.”
He chuckled at that, bathing into the warmth of your laughter, smiling without a thought.
“Oh, and I need to go to your mother’s tomorrow!” you informed him, readjusting your shirt.
His shirt, as a matter of fact. His heart stumbled at the sight…
“Really?”
“Hmm… she wants to take pictures of several objects for her artwork. I’ve volunteered to go around Dublin with her tomorrow afternoon.”
“Thank you.”
“We both know I like Raine better than you. I’m only keeping you around to have her,” you teased, throwing Andrew a mischievous wink.
He tightened his hold on the sheets.
“Oh, I see. You’re only using me to get to her… and I thought you only used me for sex.”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” but he noticed the way you bit your lip, refraining a smile, and how you averted your eyes in shyness, and he loved the sight…
Your eyes fell on the lost item, and you let out a victorious cry picking up your sock, while Andrew swallowed back the lump in his throat.
You sat down on the edge of the bed to put your socks on, and he didn’t think as he sat up, leaning into your form. He didn’t wrap his arms around you, merely rested his shoulder against yours, revelling in the warmth escaping your body.
He pressed his lips to your hair, felt you tensing, saw you stopping your movements.
“Ring me when you’re home, okay? It’s late. Are you too tired to drive?”
“Don’t worry, I’m not that tired,” you answered, voice weaker than before, but he wasn’t sure why. Perhaps because the night was quiet but for the branches of trees singing in the wind outside, and it felt like the world had slowed down, like it was more peaceful than usual. Perhaps because you were uncomfortable. Hard to tell.
He moved away, just in case. Distance cutting your edges and his with cold. And yet Andrew remained but centimetres away.
“Alright. Still, tell me when you’re home, okay? Just to be safe.”
You seemed to relax, he didn’t know if he liked that reaction or not.
“I like it when you do that.”
It sounded like a confession, the words on your lips quiet and velvety, soft to the touch.
“Do what?” he questioned, tilting his head to the side a little.
“Get all worried about me.”
You gave him a smile, one that he offered back with ease.
“Hmm… don’t have a choice. You’re a menace behind the wheel.”
“Am not.”
“Are too! You almost killed us last month!”
“It wasn’t even my fault, there was a fucking sheep running across the road, coming out of nowhere!”
“Can’t believe you’re blaming the fauna for this…”
You both laughed at that, and when you grew quiet again, smile still lingering on your lips, you let your head fall to rest onto his shoulder, and it was Andrew’s time to relax. You lifted your hand to rest upon his chest, right over his heart. For a second, he felt embarrassed at the thought that you would feel how fast his heart was beating, but your palm was too warm against his skin, and he soon couldn’t care enough to worry.
He wrapped an arm around you, holding you close, but not too much, not as much as he would have wanted, too afraid you would push him away.
“I know that… that’s what friends are made for, but still… it’s nice. Thank you, Andy.”
He closed his eyes as he rested his lips against your hair; closed them too tightly, until it hurt.
“You don’t have to thank me for that,” he whispered into your skin, mouth drifting to press against your forehead. “You don’t ever have to thank me for that. I’m here. I’ll always be here.”
You hummed, leaning into him even more, and he felt all your muscles relaxing as he rubbed your back, palm flat against your spine, the curve so familiar under his hand by now.
You heaved a sigh.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Sure,” Andrew answered without a second thought, not thinking about what he had planned. He would move his schedule around for you anyway.
You looked up at him again, blinked a few times, as if to fall back onto earth. There was something dreamy in your smile.
“Good night, Andy.”
“Good night, Y/N.”
That was another one of your rules: no affectionate pet names.
He leaned down to kiss you, but you turned your cheek to his lips instead, and acted like it was nothing, like he had never been aiming for your mouth in the first place.
Third rule: no kissing without sex.
The next second, you were standing, walking towards the door. He stared as you walked out, listened to the padding of your feet on the tiles, the creaking of his staircase. He waited until the front door closed, and he let himself fall back into his pillows.
It was a logical decision, he didn’t have a choice.
Andrew, you absolute fool…
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His mother was worried, which meant that Andrew was worried.
She was smiling at you as if nothing was wrong, as if the sunny afternoon truly was as bright as the beams coming across the green leaves of his parents’ garden trees.
Andrew was not fooled though. He knew his mother too well not to see the signs, to be blind to her slight frown, to the drifting downwards of her gaze, to the worried lip she kept biting on.
Raine didn’t say a word while you were here though, and it only worried Andrew more. You were a friend of the family; almost part of the family at this point. You were close enough to Andrew’s parents and brother to spend time with them on your own, just to see them. And they invited you often as well. If Raine wasn’t saying anything in front of you, it ought to mean that this was serious, that something terrible was happening. His thoughts drifted to his father…
“Andy? You’re okay?”
He blinked up at you, soothing the frown he had not noticed across his brow. He gave you a reassuring smile.
“Sure, why?”
“I don’t know… you look… worried. Is there something wrong?”
“No, nothing’s wrong. I was just lost in thought.”
You narrowed your eyes a little at him, clearly unconvinced, but Andrew shot you a smile, asked a question to draw the conversation back to you, and you yielded.
It was such a sweet afternoon, after all. You had spent some time taking pictures for Raine, and somehow had found your way to her garden, with tea and biscuits, a little high on sunlight and laughter. It was lovely. It almost felt like you and Andrew were not friends, almost like you were in your own family home. He pushed that thought away quickly though, taking a sip of tea and regretting that there was no burning effect of alcohol when he swallowed.
When you left to go home, Andrew was aware that he held you too tightly, for too long, that he let his lips linger against your cheek for more than a mere peck. But you didn’t push him away, and so he leaned further, allowed himself to be close, just for a moment.
You hugged Raine, promising to come back the following week for an artsy afternoon, and left as the sun abandoned the sky.
Andrew was washing the teacups when he finally asked his mother what was bothering her.
“Nothing, honey,” she reassured him, but he shook his head and gave her a hard look.
“Come on. Don’t lie to me. I know there’s something on your mind. Are dad and you okay?”
“Oh, darling… of course, we are. Don’t worry about us, we’re both fine. No, it’s… it’s you I’m worried about.”
Andrew couldn’t refrain a laugh, a mixture of relief and surprise.
“Me? Why would you be worried about me? I’m good.”
“Are you, though?”
She gave him that look, the one that pierced him to his soul, the one he couldn’t run away from. The one he knew would claim the truth, in the end. He felt like a child when she looked at him like that, like he had just stolen a cookie from the jar and was caught red-handed as he tried to hide the proof of his crime.
“I’m fine, mom. Don’t worry about me, I’m okay. I really am.”
But her gaze only hardened. Not in a cold way, on the contrary. It was a gaze of steel in its firmness, but that held all the love she had for him. His heart sank at the sight.
“Don’t lie. I know there’s something off between you and Y/N.”
Andrew struggled to swallow, looked away, fleeing. He stared at his hands still holding a teacup, and he noticed it was yours. There were traces of your lipstick on the edge of the pale porcelain. He traced it with his fingers absent-mindedly.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he replied, but his lie was obvious, his voice too low, too weak. In the sink, his fingers pushed the cup into the water, disappearing under soapy bubbles, and he left them there, in the warmth of the water, staring at the flesh that had disappeared, at your trace that was gone but that he hadn’t erased yet.
“Andy… you know that you can tell me anything. I’m your mother. You can always tell me anything that bothers you. That’s my job to help you. And I’m great at it.”
Her joke made them both chuckle, but he didn’t look at her. He rubbed at the stained spot on the cup instead, but blindly so, unable to see the destruction of your lips over the edge of the porcelain.
“I don’t know… it’s a little weird,” he whispered, struggling to find the right words and hating that about himself. How it was so much easier to write things down than to speak out words. They felt heavy on his tongue, had a wrong taste in his mouth.
“Why? What happened? Did you two fight?”
“No… no, we didn’t fight.”
“What is it, then?”
“We… We’re sleeping together.”
Raine stared at her son with wide eyes, her mouth dropping open. He chuckled at her reaction; clearly, she hadn’t been expecting that…
“What? When? How? What?”
“You’ve asked that one twice.”
“Wait, I don’t understand… if you two are finally being intelligent and are together, why do you look so sad?”
“I’m not sad.”
She gave him a look that was silently saying ‘I’ve birthed you, do not lie to me’.
He looked away again, tried to ignore the finally part of her question.
“We’re sleeping together. We aren’t together.”
“Oh…”
She seemed disappointed, leaned her back against the counter.
“How long?” she asked, after a heavy and lingering silence.
“A few months.”
“And you’re not dating her?”
“No, we’re not dating.”
“But you’re hanging out with her during the day, and sleeping with her at night.”
“Yeah.”
He struggled to swallow, cheeks turned crimson.
“Why on earth would you want that?”
She was blunt, as usual, but there was so much love in her question. So much worry for her son. Andrew wasn’t fooled, she was direct because she cared too much to circle around the issue.
“I’ve never said that I wanted that,” Andrew admitted in a whisper, feeling tears rise to his eyes, but he blinked them away, clenching his jaw to hold them in check.
“Oh, honey…”
She rubbed his back, her movement soothing. He rolled his eyes.
“Mom, don’t… I’m okay.”
“Casually sleeping with your friend… that’s not a good idea, Andy. Of course, you’re free to do whatever you want. This is your life. And I’ll always be here to support you, no matter what. Still…”
She heaved a sigh, but her son remained silent, and so she went on.
“You are too generous when you love, Andy. Be careful. Take care of yourself. For once, take care of yourself, before you take care of her. Can you do that for me?”
He finally pulled your cup out of the water. Your lipstick was gone, there was only the perfect white of the porcelain left under his thumb.
“Don’t worry about me, mom. I’m okay.”
“I know how you feel for her. This kind of… arrangement… it won’t end well for you.”
“Don’t be dramatic. I agreed to this. I’m okay with us just being casual, with nothing serious happening between us.”
But one did not fool a mother so easily. She gave him a look that let him know she understood him better than he did himself. And he had no doubt she was right about that.
Still, he put down the cup by the side of the sink to dry, picked up another, and washed the tea away again.
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wafflefries13 · 1 month
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The Consequence of Late Night Calls
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Summary: You've been friends with Katsuki for years, and you've always thought it's been just that - friends. But when you get a late-night call, it might just change things.
AN: Last repost! The original post got eaten by Tumblr. I'm still really proud of this one. I wrote it back when I was first starting to publish fanfic and I like how it turned out.
Warnings: College au, drinking, language
The call shocked you out of a deep but impromptu sleep. You jerked up from the noise, a page of lecture notes sticking to your check. It fluttered back to the desk covered in its own mess of loose leaf documents, used textbooks that cost more than a weekend trip to Disney World, and a laptop missing three of its letter keys. 
You dragged your tongue against your teeth, trying to get rid of the cotton feel coating the inside of your mouth. Rubbing stars into your tired eyes, you wondered when exactly you had fallen asleep. Was it somewhere near memorizing the latin terminology for court rhetoric or around reading the case file and trial records you were going to be tested over on Monday? Deciding wondering was basically pointless, considering you had pretty  much forgotten all of it anyway, you pawed blindly around for your phone. 
“Hello?” You answered, eyes still closed, although it probably came out and more of a mumbled groan than anything else.  
“(Y/NNNNNNNNN)!” 
You pulled the phone away from your ear, wincing at the sudden loud noise. Blinking bleerally, you looked down at your phone. You had taken the caller ID picture a year ago, at a sorority Halloween party you barely remembered aside from the copious amounts of alcohol consumed followed by an ill-advised scavenger hunt that ended with a call to the police and the dean’s car somehow ending up in the agriculture department’s greenhouse crowded with Jack-O-lanterns. It was a profile shot of Bakugou Katsuki, his mouth opened in a mid-yell scowl, as was his standard expression, and eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. One hand extended to try and block the camera, the other clutching a brown bottle. He was wearing a fantasy barbarian king costume, chest bare to show off the taut muscles he worked so hard for all of high school to get. When he’d shown up in it, or, rather, when Kirishima had dragged him along in his own dragonborn costume, you couldn’t believe he still had it. You remembered sitting in your basement in 9th grade, pricking your fingers with a sewing needle as you and the rest of your newly formed D&D group, Bakugou and Kirishima included, spent way too much time and effort into creating your costumes. 
Rubbing at the bridge of your nose in a vain attempt to chase away the headache you could already feel forming, you brought the phone back to your ear. You could hear the low thump of bass heavy music in the background. 
“Hi, Suki,” You said, trying not to sound condescending, but it came out like that anyway. 
“Hey!” He said sharply. The rest of his reply was slurred smooth. “I told you not to call me that.” 
You smirked. “It’s cute.” 
“It’s embarrassing! ‘M not cute.” 
“No, you’re calling me at-” You pulled the phone away again to check the time. “Katsuki, it’s like two in the morning, what the hell?” 
You heard someone shout something on the other side of the line that Katsuki mumbled a reply to. To you he said, “Was thinking about you.” 
You felt yourself blush despite yourself. “You were thinking about me?” 
There was a clunk and a bump. You could imagine him falling against a wall and sliding down to sit until the room stopped spinning. “Yeah. I don’t like it.” 
You ignored the jab in your heart. “Well, thanks.” 
“It keeps happening. I’ll just be, like, doing stuff, and then I just think, ‘What would (Y/N) think of that?’ ‘I wonder what (Y/N)’s doing right now.’ ‘(Y/N) would know what to do now. She’s so smart. And her hands look so soft. And her eyes are so pretty.’” He was quiet for a second. “It’s annoying. I can’t stop thinking about you. And it’s worse when you’re here.” There was a shuffling as you heard him try to stand up then give up again. “Why aren’t you here? I want you here.” 
You were wide awake now. You clenched and unclenched your hand, trying to process the information your obviously drunk friend had just confessed. Your stomach churned in a mix of anticipation, anxiety, and straight up butterflies. 
What the hell did all of that mean? Well, of course you knew what it meant, or you knew what it meant when spoken by a sober person of sound mind and body. But there was no way, you tried to rationalize, that The Bakugou Katsuki, the guy you’d known since freshman year of high school when he’d punched a guy who had flipped up your uniform skirt on the first day, the guy who had surprised just about everyone in home economics when he busted out a three tiered cake like it was no one’s business, the guy whos ego was big enough to have its own gravitational pull, was confessing his feelings to you in a drunk rant at two in the morning. 
“Katsuki,” You said in a soft voice. “I-” 
There was a retching sound from the other end of the line. Katsuki coughed, tried to say something, then threw up again. “Aw, fuck.” 
That headache was back with avengence now. You sighed, looking for your keys. “Katsuki, where are you?” 
“Uhh, on campus? At the Kappa Alpha Betta Whatever house. There’s a party. Why aren’t you here?” 
“You know I hate all the Greek life bs. Stay where you are, okay? I’m coming to get you. You’re completely wasted.” 
“‘M not. I can handle what I drink.” There was another pause before he wretched again. 
“Did you just throw up again?” 
“...No.” 
“Cool. I’ll be there in ten.” 
You didn’t wait for him to respond before hanging it. You didn’t think your heart could take it if he kept going on like he had been. Grabbing your keys and heading out of your crowded studio apartment, you hopped in your car to go save your drunk friend from making any other ill advised decisions that night. 
You realized that you were probably over thinking the whole phone call as you drove through deserted streets. You couldn’t help it, it was a bad habit you had formed as a kid that now  made you obsess over court documents and testimonies in class. But now, instead of helping, it was picking you apart. What did Katsuki’s tone imply when he was talking to you just now? Could you trust the tone of an inebriated person? What did he mean when he said he thought about you a lot? You’d known each other for years now, being involved in almost all the same activities. Wouldn’t it be natural to think about someone you spent so much time with? But you’d known Kirishima for just as long, not to mention the rest of the self-named “Baku-Squad.” You’d never gotten a late night drunk call from any of them. Heck, Katsuki had known Izuku way longer than he had known you, and you were pretty dang sure Katsuki had never called him going on and on about how he always thought about him. 
Stopping at a red light, you pressed your forehead into the soft faux-leather of your steering wheel, willing your thoughts to calm down and just come to a rational conclusion already. Expect, you know, a rational conclusion that wasn’t that the guy you had carried a torch for for almost as long as you had known him might actually have feelings for you back. 
You turned on to the street lined with sororities and fraternities across from the main campus. You had to slam on your breaks almost immediately to avoid running over a tipsy, giggling co-ed who was stumbling out into the road. She didn’t even look up at you. 
You didn’t know exactly which house Katsuki was stranded at, considering you could see at least three different parties all going on at first glance. His “Kappa Alpha Betta Whatever” wasn’t very helpful, either, considering all the Greek letters adorning the houses blended together in your mind at some point. And you really didn’t want to tramp through a bunch of different houses tonight. 
Thankfully, you were saved the trouble when you saw Kirishima’s 1969 Chevrolet Chevelle park half off the curb in front of one of the houses. You’d know that car anywhere. Kirishima had dragged your group to various scrap yards and auto-repair stores all summer after he got his license, the first of you all to do so, in an effort to fix up the worn down Chevelle that he’d bought for a hundred bucks and a turkey sandwich. 
You parked on the other side of the street then jogged across to the house that was practically vibrating with heavy music and Greek life energy. Stepping over a semi-conscious frat boy laying in the doorway, you scanned around the house for any sign of Katsuki’s pomeranian-puff-ball hair. 
You spotted Denki lounging on a couch, a lampshade on his head and a tangle of phone chargers clutched in his fist. His hand sparked every now and then as he used his quirk to recharge the collection of phones. 
You lifted up the edge of the lampshade. “Hey there, Pikachu.” 
“Heeeeeey~” He said, giving you a thumbs up. You could already tell he was too far gone, although you didn’t know if it was from drinking or the over use of his quirk. 
“(Y/N)!” You heard a voice call behind you. A body fell heavily against your back. Sero wrapped his arms around you in a backwards hug. “Where you been? We missed you!” 
“Studying. I’m boring, remember? I’m looking for Katsuki, you seen him around?” 
Sero snickered. “Bakugou, huh? He’s been looking for you for a long time, right, Denki?” 
“Heeeeeey~” 
You swallowed hard. “And what’s that supposed to mean?” 
Sero snickered again, flopping on the couch next to Denki. “Can’t tell. Part of the bro code. And he said he’d kill me.” 
“That does sound like Katsuki.” 
Sero covered his eyes with his arm, head leaning back. With a wide smile, he waved his hand in the vague direction to the back door. “I think he’s out by the pool or something.” 
You waved bye. “Thanks, I’ll go check it out. You guys take care of yourselves, okay?” 
“Look at ‘em go,” Sero said to Denki as you left. “You think they’ll have a spring wedding?” 
“Heeeeeey~” 
*~~~~* 
You managed to weave your way through the crowd of bodies clogging the house to finally spill out into the back yard. You had no idea how people were able to stay this energized this late into the night with this many other people around. You remembered once being stuck at another party, early on in your college days. When it became super clear you didn’t want to be there, overwhelmed by the noise, the crush of bodies, and the suffocation of social enterprise, Katsuki had dragged Kirishima over to you, planting him in front of you as your ‘extrovert shield.’  He’d stayed with you behind the boisterous redhead for the rest of the night. 
You wondered if Katsuki remembered doing that, if he remembered any of the small nice gestures he did for you over the years. And now, with his call, with what Sero said, with your over analyzing brain, you were dissecting every interaction you could remember. Was the time he opened a door for you a signal? Was the reason he would ask to study with you for chemistry, when he was way better in practically every subject than you, just so he could be close to you? Were the times he had given you his jacket when you were cold meant to be a more intimate moment? 
God, you were going to go crazy. 
Walking around the pool, you finally spotted the hot-headed blond. He was sitting slouched over on the end of one of the reclining pool chairs, forearms braced on his knees.  You almost called out to him, stopping cold when you saw the girl behind him. She had draped herself over his back, chin rested in the crook of his neck, one had massaging his shoulder, the other conspicuously sneaking under the hem of his shirt to rub circles on his abs. 
You clenched and unclenched your hands, worry gnawing at you as a headache at the back of your skull. Had something changed between the time he had called you and now? Had there been nothing there to change at all? Had you been misreading this situation the whole time? 
Katsuki looked up, his permanently affixed scowl even deeper. The second his jewel-red eyes met yours, you felt your heart skip a beat. He jumped to his feet so fast the girl behind him fell back against the chair. He tried marching over to you, which was made only slightly less intimidating by the drunk sway to his step. 
You didn’t remember him being so tall. You’d just seen him this afternoon. There was a flushed blush across his face, adding a surprising softness. Were his arms always that strong looking? Were his eyes that piercing? Was his jaw that strong? 
“You came,” He said, voice rough as whiskey soaking into gravel. 
You spread your hands. “Well, you said my name three times, so, here I am!” You laughed nervously, trying to ignore how his gaze pinned you down. 
He took another step towards you, hand reading up. “(Y/N), I-” 
His cheeks turned from pink to green. Lurching to the side, he vomited into the pool. You tried to help him back up, hunched over and trying to catch his breath. The crowd of people around you groaned in disgust before rolling in to sarcastic applause. Katsuki flipped them off. 
“Alright, Suki,” You said, rubbing his back. “Let’s get you back home.” 
He grumbled, leaning his full weight against you. You almost stumbled and fell with the sudden shift of balance. Katsuki slid his arm around your waist, hand firmly grasping your hip, as if he was the one trying to prevent you from a drunken stumble. His fingers felt like fire through your clothes. 
You decided to go around the house instead of trying to push your way through it. Soon you were making your way across the street. It took some maneuvering to unlock and open the passenger door. You practically dropped Katsuki in where his head fell back with a groan. You grabbed his seat belt and stretched across him to fasten it. It wasn’t until he started petting your hair that your realized your position of half-way laying across his lap. You jerked back, some of your hair getting caught in his fingers. He made a disappointed sound at the loss of it. 
You slid back into the driver's seat, trembling hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. You had to take a few steadying breaths before you were ready to start the car. Pulling out of the neighborhood, you glanced over at Katsuki. His eye brows were furrowed, eyes closed, mouth pulled in a small frown. 
God, he looked adorable. 
You hit the break harder than you meant to at the light. Adorable? Where the hell did that thought come from? He’d probably be furious if he knew you ever thought that. 
But…
You risked another look at him. When he let his face relax like this, you could see the slight chub that still clung to his cheeks. Another thing he would hate to know that you thought was how much you loved the softness that it leant him. It was cute. 
Almost without your realizing it, you lifted your hand. You were overcome with the sudden urge to poke his cheek. A car horn blared behind you when your finger was less than an inch from his face. You let out an undignified squeak, hands slamming back to the wheel. Katsuki grumbled and turned in the seat, head resting against the window. You could feel the blush burning up your face. 
A few minutes later, you pulled back to the apartment complex. You both lived in the same building, Katsuki directly below your own unit. And now you were overthinking his reason for not living on campus. 
When you opened the passenger door, Katsuki almost fell out. You jerked forward to catch him then dragged him out. He half woke up, as feeble on his legs as a newborn horse. 
You lugged him through the lobby. He was muttering under his breath, but most of the words you could make out were curses. Not unusual for him. You pressed the button for the elevator repeatedly. It just blinked back at you. You sighed in frustration. They had been doing maintenance on your building all week, but now might have been the absolute worst time to do the elevator. 
You shook Katsuki’s shoulder a little bit. His head jostled like a bobble-head. “Suki, I’m gonna need your help here for a minute.” 
His head lolled forward, forehead coming down to press to yours. In a quiet voice, he whispered, “I’d do anything for you.” 
You shoved him upright, face burning. “Then walk up the damn stairs yourself!” 
Despite that, you still ended up half-carrying him up four flights of stairs. You were uncomfortably sweaty when you reached the door to Katsuki’s apartment. The two of you had traded copies of your apartment keys when you had moved in. “In case something happens to your dumb ass and I need to come save you,” He had said. He would frequently stop by, usually when you were hours deep into an all-nighter. He’d bring his laptop and work on whatever 12 page essay way due on your bed while you poured over case reports. You’d sit in silence, just together, sharing the same space, content with nothing more than knowing the other was nearby. Or he’d bring you real food to make sure you weren’t just eating ramen all the time. In turn, you’d pull him out for game night with the squad, make sure he’d actually call his mother once in a while, and lend an ear to his semi-nightly rants on whoever he decided to hate that night. 
You fumbled with the keys, jamming the key in the lock then pushing it open with your shoulder that wasn’t currently occupied by a half-asleep, full-drunk boy who had at least 50 pounds and ten inches on you. 
There was always an expectation with the rooms of single college boys. Greasy pizza boxes, empty bottles of booze displayed like expensive decor, at least one poster of a half-naked girl somewhere, probably a basket of clothes that should have been washed weeks ago. And while you knew plenty of guys who fit that description, Katsuki defied expectation. His apartment was always immaculate. His shoes were lined neatly by the door, a calendar above his desk  color-coded with assignment due dates, bed made. Katsuki may give off the persona of a punk, but you knew he was a straight-laced nerd through and through.  
With the last of your strength, you lugged him across the room, dropping him on his bed. With a groan, you stretched your arms up until you heard a satisfying pop in your back. Hands on your hips, you watched as Katsuki moaned, burying his face in his pillow and pulling his feet up from the floor. You sat on the end of the bed, tugging his feet to you to unlace his shoes. You let them fall haphazardly to the floor, too tired to care about his level of neatness.  
You grabbed a bucket from his hall closet, putting it next to the head of his bed for when he inevitably woke up vomiting in the morning. Checking his bathroom, you put a couple of painkillers and a glass of water on the nightstand with a post-it note saying “Drink Me.” 
Brushing your hands off, you looked around and checked your work. Satisfied that he wouldn’t kill himself between now and when you would inevitably check on him in the morning, you decided it was finally time to head back upstairs and get some well deserved sleep. 
But… 
You turned back at the door. Katsuki was splayed like a starfish, gently snoring with his mouth wide open. You also noticed his blushing red fluffy cheeks. 
You tapped the door knob a few times before sighing in surrender to temptation and turnin back. You knelt down next to the bed. For a moment, you just watched him sleep. He looked so peaceful now. You reached out. Your index finger sunk into his cheek like it was a marshmallow. You couldn’t believe you had never done this before. God, he really was adorable. 
Your thoughts were abruptly cut off as Katsuki’s hand shot up and grabbed your wrist with an iron grip. With a shriek, you tried to scramble backwards. Katsuki lazily opened his eyes, not at all bothered by your struggles. With seemingly no effort on his part, he tugged you forward. Off balance, you fell into his chest. Katsuki wrapped his arms around you in a bear hug, slinging a leg over yours, trapping you on the bed. 
“Katsuki!” You hissed. You squirmed in his hold, not getting any extra room. He just hummed, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. You were pretty sure your face was hot enough to start a fire. “Katsuki, let me go!” 
“No,” He mumbled. His voice rumbled against your skin sending shivers through your whole body. 
“Katsuki!” 
“You can’t leave. If you leave, you won’t come back.” 
You stopped struggling. “What are you talking about?” 
He squeezed you tighter. “I’m loud. I get angry real easy. I fight a lot. And you…” He trailed off, his breath catching and rattling in his chest. “You’re so much better than me. You’re nice and smart and talented and pretty and caring and… and…” You could feel the hot tears landing on your skin. He was starting to shake. His grip had loosened enough for you to get out, but instead you brought your arms up and pulled him in closer. “If I let you go, you’ll see how much better you are than me. And you’ll leave. You’ll leave me because you’re better and you deserve so much better. But I’m a selfish bastard and I just want you for myself because I love you so damn much.” 
Your heart dropped into your stomach. You wiggled your hand up, threading your hand into his hair and tilting his head to look up at you. 
“I love you too,” You said softly. “And I’m not going anywhere.” 
Katsuki crushed you to his chest, letting out another loud sob. You could feel hot tears pressing against your eyes. You had no idea Katsuki felt this way about anything; about you, about himself, about your relationship. 
But one thing you knew for sure: You loved Bakugou Katsuki. 
~~~
The first thing Katsuki noticed when he woke up was the head ache. His head felt like he had a railroad spike jammed through his temples. God, what did he do last night? There was the party at Kappa Alpha Betta Whatever house. It’d been fine for a while, hanging out with the guys, playing beer pong, winning some extra cash from freshman in poker (where did he put that money anyway?). And then…
And then someone had said your name. He’d heard it across the room, an amazing feat in and of itself, but his ears were trained for any news of you. He’d jerked up right when he heard it, missing his shot at the beer pong table. He gladly took his drink and went prowling through the house. Who had said your name? Were you here? Were you coming?  
It might have been selfish, he knew how much you hated loud crowds, but damn it, he wanted you here. He remembered the last Greek life party you had been at. He’d lost you at some point between getting into an argument with that damn Deku and pulling Denki down from a keg stand. He’d finally found you huddled into some back corner, looking like a rabbit about to dart from a hungry fox (he wouldn’t mind being that fox, honestly, he could eat you right up.) You’d lost the color in your face, hands shaking as you clutched your red Solo cup almost hard enough for your nails to pierce the plastic. 
He snatched Kirishima by his collar as he carved a path through the room. He planted the extroverted red-head in front of you, creating an extrovert shield between himself and the love of his life you. He’d spent the rest of the night talking to you. Nothing special, he couldn’t even really remember what about. But he did remember the relaxed slope of your shoulders, the spark in your eyes, the smile that played on your lips at whatever lame joke he had just made. 
Back in the present (or last night, whatever), he was still stalking through the halls looking for whoever had mentioned you. He heard it again, the tail end of your name, coming from the living room. 
“-(/N) never had it so good.” There he was, lounging along the bottom stairs with a smug look on his face as he regaled the small crowd he had attracted. Katsuki recognized him as one of those legacy kids, the one who showed up to the first day of orientation in a sleek black Bugatti and took up three parking spaces, talked in almost every one of his classes when he even bothered to show up, and was, without a doubt at every party on or off campus. 
And now he was telling a story about you. What were you ever doing with an asshole like him? 
“You would never guess it from how she dresses, you know,” The guy continued, lazily waving his half-empty beer bottle. “But she is stacked.” 
Katsuki tensed up, his heart jumping into his throat. He pushed aside the crowd until he stood right in front of the bragger on the stairs. “What did you just say?” He asked through clenched teeth. “You're talking about (Y/N) (L/N), right?” 
He lazily swept his gaze up, grinning wide when he saw Katsuki. “Yeah, (Y/N)? You know, she comes across as a frigid bitch, but let me tell you, she’s an incredible lay.” Katsuki’s vision went red. The crowd started to subtly shuffle away, feeling the cold change in atmosphere. “Not much besides that, honestly. Thank god her tits and ass are amazing, cause her face sure wasn’t doing it for me. Super boring, too, heard she’s failing her classes. Oh, well. Hey, I could use a side-piece when I’m running my own firm, you know?” 
The asshole never saw it coming. In the span of a heart beat, Katsuki had grabbed his designer jacket and hoisted him off the stairs, pinning him to the wall so his feet kicked to try and reach the ground. 
“You listen to me, asshole,” Katsuki hissed. “You never talk about (Y/N) again. You never look at her, you never talk to your shit-stain friends about her, you sure as fuck never tell another lie about her, or so help me, you’ll get to find out what color your liver is.” 
Katsuki was half-way sure the jerk had pissed his pants. He dropped him in a heap, landing in the puddle of spilled beer on the floor. He brushed his hand off on his jeans, eager to get whatever germs the gossip had off him.  
He was almost out of ear shot when he heard the rich kid spit and say, “Fine. She’s probably crawling with it if you’re dicking her down.” 
The kid’s head made a dent in the wall as he richoched back from the impact of Katsuki’s punch. He would easily have a black eye and a broken nose, the chipped tooth would just be a  bonus. 
Katsuki’s head was fuzzy with rage, stalked through the house, bee-lining it to the nearest source of inebriation. How dare he? How fucking dare that absolute ass-wipe ever even think of saying such horrible things about you? He wasn’t even worth knowing your name, much less saying it. Not to mention the fact he must be blind to think you were anything less than stunning. Ever since he had known you, you had been nothing but kind and smart and caring and funny and…
“Baku-bro, you doing okay?” 
Katsuki didn’t realize how tight he was holding his fists until he relaxed. His nails had made half-moon indents in his palms, his knuckles brushed red from the punch. 
Kirishima had his mouth pulled down in that stupid puppy dog pout. “I’m fine,” Katsuki brushed him off. He grabbed a beer out of an iced cooler, twisting off the cap in a single motion and chugging half the bottle. 
“Well, that’s good, cause I don’t think Tim Flood is making it out of here without a few stitches.” 
“Good.” Katsuki finished the beer and chucked it into a recycle bin. He grabbed another and stalked out of the room. Everything felt too hot, too tight. His head was pounding. If you were here, you’d get a bag of ice and press it against his forehead. You’d probably call him an idiot for getting into another fight, that he needed to learn how to manage his temper better. He’d call you a dumbass but let you lead him away somewhere dark and quiet, away from all the other more insufferable dumbasses. You’d find some pain killers, get him some water, because that’s just the kind of caring person you were. Maybe you’d bring him upstairs, lead him to an unoccupied bedroom. The two of you would sit together on the bed, maybe just a little too close. You’d hand him the water, his hand would brush against yours. You’d look down, shy, blushing cutely. He’d lean forward, thread his hand through your incredibly soft hair, angle your face up to him. Your plush lips would part slightly and he’d lean forward and - 
“Are you sure you’re good?” Kirishima asked, abruptly cutting off Katsuki’s impromptu fantasy. “Cause you don’t look so good.” Katsuki bit his tongue. “Is it because of what that guy said about (Y/N)?” Katsuki whipped around, glaring daggers. Kirishima smiled and put his hands up in mock surrender. “Hey, bro, it’s okay! No one believed him, anyway.” 
Katsuki scoffed, taking a swig of the beer. “(Y/N)’s too good for him anyway.” 
“I bet you think (Y/N)’s too good for everyone here, right?” 
“The hell is that supposed to mean?” 
“It means you need to hurry up and tell (Y/N) you like her!” Sero shouted, jumping in out of nowhere. 
Katsuki dropped his bottle, Kirishima catching it just in time, and grabbed Sero by the front of his shirt and lifted him up. Sero just grinned his stupid, wide grin. 
“Come on, Katsuki,” Denki said, slinging an arm around Katsuki’s shoulders. “We all know you’ve had a thing for (Y/N) since high school. Why don’t you just put us all out of our misery and tell her already?!” 
Katsuki felt his face heat up. “I don’t- I haven’t - Fuck you!”  Katsuki couldn’t remember why he was friends with these three idiots as they all burst out into laughter.
 He snatched his bottle back and pushed through the crowd. He needed some air. He heard Sero yell after him, “You have to tell her eventually!” 
And… That was mostly it. Katsuki’s memories of last night sort of started to trail off after that. He knew that he drank, he drank a lot. At some point he ended up by the pool. And maybe he’d called someone? Oh, hell, he hoped he hadn’t called someone. 
His eyes snapped open at the soft groan. There you were, just inches away from his face, fast asleep and tucked in his arms. You were pressed close, breasts pushing against his chest, legs tangled with his, one hand clutching his shirt. Your lips were parted ever so slightly, breathing heavy and even. 
And you were so fucking close. 
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. His arms tightened around you and he tensed. How the hell did this happen? Did you actually come to the party last night? When, and why? What had called you down there-? 
Oh. Oh, the call! He had called you last night? Some time in his drunken haze he must have figured out to bypass the timed lock he had put on it specifically to avoid calling people with a too-honest tongue. But had you…?  Nervously, he looked down. He sighed in relief. You were both still dressed. At least that was one mistake he knew he hadn’t made. 
Alright, that was one problem. Now, on to the next one: How was he going to get out of here without waking you up? Craning his head around, he checked out the room. Wait, this was his room. He was in his apartment! A picture of last night started to form in his mind. He’d called you, blabbering God knows what, and then you’d been a good person (why were you such a good person?) and had come to get him, to make sure he was okay. And then what? He’d somehow seduced you into his bed? No, it was more likely you had stayed to make sure he didn’t choke on his own vomit, maybe sat on the bed because it was the middle of the night and you were exhausted, and then… This. 
Okay, okay, no, this was fine, he could fix this. He could slip out, let you keep sleeping. He’d make some breakfast in the kitchen and then you’d wake up, wander in rubbing the sleep from your eyes in that cute way you did when you pulled an all-nighter studying. He’d chastise you for lugging his drunk ass up here, for being out so late at night. You’d wave him off, compliment his cooking, tell him to take better care of himself, and then smile up at him with that blindingly beautiful smile and sparkling eyes. 
“Morning.” Katsuki yelped at your greeting. He stared, wide-eyed, down at you, as you look back up at him lazily with those sparkling eyes. “It’s kinda hard to breathe here.” He realized then just how tight he was holding you. He jerked backward, his shout of surprise cut off as he fell off the bed. He rubbed his sore hip, looking up when he heard your giggle. You were leaning over the bed, smiling shyly when he caught you staring. 
He gulped hard, feeling his face burning up. “Hi.” 
You tucked a loose threat of hair behind your ear. “Hi.” 
He should say something. He needed to say something. God, why wasn’t he saying something? 
“I-“ Katsuki stopped with an incomplete thought in his mouth. He suddenly felt uncomfortably hot, his stomach clenching and throat going dry. Your face dropped as you lunged forward, dragging a bucket in front of him (where did that even come from?). He surged forward, clenching the sides of the bucket in a white knuckled grip, and threw up. 
You slid off the bed and knelt next to him. You rubbed small circles in his back, whispering small comforts as he coughed up bile and alcohol and who knows what else. You reached over behind him and grabbed a glass of water from his nightstand. 
“Here,” You said. “Rinse and spit. Don’t swallow or gargle, it’ll just mess with your gag reflex.” Rubbing the spike of pain growing in his forehead, he did what you said. When he caught his breath, he accepted the pain killers you had and dry swallowed them. You really had prepared for everything, huh? 
Katsuki shoved the bucket away with his foot, leaning back against the bed. “Fuck…” 
You hummed in response and scooted to sit next to him. “So,” You said. 
“So,” He said back. 
“I don’t suppose you remember much from last night?” 
He clenched his jaw, mouth going dryer than it already was, if that was possible. He tried to laugh, but it sounded forced and strained, even to him. “Hey, we’re both still wearing pants, right?” You didn’t laugh back. 
“So that’s a no then?” The seriousness with which you said that made him pause. 
“I, uh, think I called you?” 
“MmHmm. You didn’t sound too great, so I came to pull you out.” 
“Huh. Thanks for that.” 
“Yup.” You paused for a second. “Do you remember… anything else you said?” 
Fuck. 
“Uhh, I owe you breakfast?” 
You looked away. “Is there anything you maybe told Sero that you wouldn’t want him to tell me?” 
Double fuck. 
“If this is about Halloween last year, Mina was the one who brought the Ouija board.” He smirked at you, waiting for you to laugh with him. Instead you didn’t even look up, staring a hole in the carpet with the intensity of your gaze. 
You let out a sigh through your nose, pushing off your knees to stand. “I’m gonna head out,” You said, rubbing the back of your head and still not looking at him. 
Katsuki jumped up, immediately regretting as his head began swimming. “(Y/N), wait-“ He cut himself off with another surge of nausea and lurched towards the bucket. 
“Katsuki,” You said, sounding frustrated. “Look, I…” You sighed, running a hand through your hair and turning back to him. “We’ve known each other for a long time now, right? And for all the time I’ve known you, you’ve been stubborn and pig-headed and aggressive and just, you know, you. But still, in all that time, despite everything, I still…” You pressed your lips, looking for the right words. “I’m happy when I’m around you, Katsuki. I feel at ease, I feel protected, I feel like I can be better at anything. And I’ve thought about this a lot, so much that it makes my head spin and my heart hurt, but through all the trouble I still think it’s worth it. Because at the end of the day it means I still get to be with you and sometimes I just feel like that’s enough, but now I…” Your lip was trembling, tears gathering at the corners of your eyes. Katsuki wanted nothing more than to take a big step forward and wrap you in the biggest, tightest hug of your life. Finally, you sighed in defeat. “But if you can’t say it, if the One and Only Katsuki Bakugou can’t say it, then how the hell can I?” 
Your voice broke on the last word. Katsuki was so stunned and suddenly pinned with guilt that he couldn’t move when you spun on your heels and rushed out of his apartment. 
Oh, fuck. 
~~~
“Idiot,” You murmured to yourself as you fled up the apartment stairs, furiously wiping at your eyes to get rid of the oncoming tears. “Idiot, idiot, idiot.” By the time you reached your apartment and slammed the door behind you, you weren’t sure if you were talking about Katsuki or yourself. 
You felt sick. Anxiety gnawed at your mind like a starving coyote. Had you really just confessed your feelings to Katsuki? Had you really just confessed your feelings to Katsuki like that? Would he ever speak to you again? Would things just become too awkward that you’d be edged out of your friend group? They had known Katsuki much longer than they had known you, after all. God, what if he was calling Kirishima right now and telling him about the disaster of a morning, after you had taken advantage of his blitz out state and slept in the same bed with him? 
Well, no. Kirishima was probably still knocked  out from his own night of heavy imbibing. Not to mention that even he, the most kind-hearted and patient person you knew, would have to draw a line at listening to Katsuki rant while dealing with a massive hangover. 
And no, Katsuki wouldn’t do that to you. Despite his rough deminor, his abrasive personality, and his profane tongue, Katsuki was actually a sweetheart deep down. Maybe really deep down, but still. He wouldn’t be so intentionally cruel, even if you told him that you shared all of his baby pictures of him playing in his All Might onesie online. 
So then why were you still huddled on a heap on the floor, back pressed against the front door, crying? Why was this pit of loneliness blooming in your chest?  
You yelped at the sudden banging on the door. Who could be here so early in the morning? You had paid rent this month, right? You sniffed, rubbing your eyes and smoothing out your clothes. You hoped your cheeks weren’t the blotchy red they got whenever you were upset. You took a deep breath to steady your voice for whoever was outside. 
Opening the door, you looked up at a wide-eyed Katsuki, panting hard with determination set on his face. You groaned internally. 
“Katsuki,” You began,” About what I said, I’m sorr-” 
Without waiting for you to finish, Katsuki surged forward. You tried to take a step backward, almost falling, but he caught you, a strong grip on your shoulders. Without waiting for you to get your bearings, Katsuki leaned in, smashing his lips against yours. 
It wasn’t a graceful kiss, all clashing teeth and urgency rather than romance. His eyes were screwed closed. He stayed pressed against you, not moving, grip so tight on your upper arms you thought there might be a mark later. 
Just as suddenly as he had come forward, he jerked back, but kept his hold on you. You both breathed heavily, eyes locked. Your mind whirled, a hundred voices shouting at the same time. For once, you decided to ignore them and let your body do what it wanted. 
You reached up, wrapping your arms around Katsuki’s neck and pulled him back in. This kiss was controlled, soft and sweet. His hands dropped from your shoulders to wrap around your waist. He pressed in harder, adding desperation in the kiss, as if he thought you would vanish any second. When you both pulled away this time, he leaned his forehead against yours, noses bumping into each other, sharing the same breath. 
His voice was rough. “Sorry,” He said. “I had to brush my teeth first.” 
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Text
She dares me
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Hello everybody!
I had a lot of request for Lucy Bronze, so here am I trying one with her :)
I have some other writing in my draft tho, I try to decide which one I will post first but I have to admit that I write for the one who inspires me the most according to my mood of the day x)
I hope you'll like it anyway ♥
Resume : You take care of you stubborn and childlish girlfriend.
TW : None
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"Lucia Roberta Bronze, this is the worst idea you’ve ever had"
"But baby, she dared me"
You roll your eyes when you hear Lucy whine, before she gets an impressive coughing fit. Sighing, you hand her a tissue so she can blow her nose and you patiently wait for her to be able to speak again.
Sitting on her bed, in her room of her apartment, it’s been an hour now that you’re trying to take care of her. When she missed practice today because she was sick, you knew it wasn’t just a little cold. Lucy isn't the type to miss training for nothing or even to be fragile in terms of her immune system. She warned you in the morning that she was not feeling well, so after finishing your training, you hurried to find her.
After having assured you for a few minutes that it was nothing, she finally confessed to you that following a challenge from Mapi, she found herself all dressed in the Mediterranean Sea. In the middle of winter. Obviously she didn't have any spare clothes and had to make the way back wet from feet to head.
"In the meantime, Mapi only got wet to the calf, so I won."
You sigh again, looking at her with a distressed air. You are obviously in love with this woman, more than anything else in the world. But sometimes you have trouble understanding how she can be so spontaneous and childish.
"She also has a cold and I now understand better why Ingrid was giving her black looks every time she sneezed."
Lucy sneers at the news, probably playing the scene in her head. Despite yourself, you can’t help but smile too.
"But between Ingrid and me, she’s definitely the winner. Her girlfriend is not about to die of pneumonia."
"Not going to die of pneumonia" Lucy mumbles sleepily as she pulls up her sheet under her chin.
"How is it that in our both couples it's the youngest who are the most mature?" you ask rhetorically by putting your hand on her forehead, trying to find out if her temperature is starting to fall.
"Dunno. Maybe because you both aren't fun" Lucy mumbles before yawning.
"Maybe I should ask Ingrid to get in a relationship with me, at least we would be both not fun but happy and healthy?"
You pull your tongue out at her and Lucy slaps your hand, frowning at you.
"Hey! Don’t laugh with that"
"I’ll go out and get you some medicine. Try to get some rest."
Sulking, Lucy gets on her side to turn her back on you and you watch her do it with an amused smile. You kiss her shoulder covered with the sheet and slowly come out of the bedroom. You take the opportunity to tidy up some of the things that the English left behind during the day before going out towards the pharmacy.
The air is fresh and the night begins to fall, making you shiver. You make the round trip with a quick step, the face completely masked by your scarf and the hood of your jacket. It's with relief that you find the warmth of Lucy’s apartment and you decide to make both of yourself tea. You to warm up, Lucy to ease her throat.
A quick passage through Lucy’s room learn you that she sleeps deeply and you decide not to wake her. After preparing a soup in addition to tea, you sit on the couch with your hot cup of tea and your phone. After like one hour, your hear her cough again and made your way to her room.
"You ok?" you ask when you see that she’s awake.
Lucy nods and turn for her nightstand to take her bottle of water. You let her do it, making a quick trip to the kitchen to put on the tray that you prepared and the medicines. With your foot, you push the door of the room to open and you put the tray on the other night table. Then you lie down next to her, on the sheet.
"How are you feeling?"
"Terrible" she answers by dropping on her back on her cushion.
With an empathetic smile, you clear her face of the few strands of hair that block her eyes.
"I’m sorry I said you weren’t fun"
You laugh slightly before you lean over her to put a kiss on her forehead.
"I know, baby." You smile at her again before you put the tray between you two. "Your meds. And I think it would be nice if you ate a little"
You nod at the soup bowl and Lucy looks at it thoughtfully for a few moments before resigning herself to sit in the bed. Once she’s settled, you hand her the bowl and let her eat, telling her a few things that happened during training.
Then, when she’s done, you help her take her meds and drop her half-empty cup of tea on her nightstand.
"Where are you going?" she whines as you come out of the room.
"Do the dishes?"
"Fuck the dishes. I need hugs to get better, it was written on the leaflet of the medicines"
"Of course, I didn’t have to read the little sentence in the end"
You laugh and rest the tray to climb on the bed next to her.
"Exactly"
Her big smile when she answers you goes straight to your heart and you spread your arms so that she can cuddle up against you. After offering to watch something on television, you find yourself stroking her hair while watching Malcolm. When you found out it was Lucy’s favorite show, you were surprised at first, but you got used to it.
Not used to seeing Lucy so clingy, you take full advantage of having her for you in this state. Usually, you're the needy one between you two. But that's ok because Lucy never refuses you a kiss or a hug. And the best part is, you don’t have to feel guilty because the meds seem to be working and she feels better.
And her health will continue to get better, since after three days she is fully on her feet and back to training. The only thing that’s changed is that with Ingrid you promised yourself that you’d never let the two women go out by themselves again.
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kitashousewife · 10 months
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“m’gettin sick,” osamu sniffles from his cocoon on the couch. ever since he got home he’s been quiet and sleepy, cuddling up with a blanket despite being hot to the touch.
one thing you’ve learned about osamu, is that he is never sick. ma always joked about how despite every illness that passed through the twins’ schools, teams, or even work; osamu made it out perfectly healthy. you’ve found this to be true. even when you’ve been at your worst, osamu’s immune system has never faltered.
“i can’t be sick,” osamu’s mumbled voice is stuffier than normal, and his nose is a rosy pink. “i got work in the mornin’.”
“not like this, you don’t,” you pour some water from the kettle into his cup and dip the tea bag inside. he waves you off.
“what? just close shop for a day? i can’t do that,” he snatches a few kleenex from the box on the counter, turning around when you raise an eyebrow at him.
“you can actually, and you should.” you slide the tea over to him before heading towards your shared bathroom. “just post something tonight to give everyone a heads up.”
osamu shuffles behind you, tea in one large palm with tufts of kleenex in the other. he huffs when he feels hot once again, flinging off his sweat shirt as quick as he can.
“but kita-“
“kita can deliver to our house, baby. we can bring the rice over a different day.”
you fold your arms and stand by the bath as it fills. osamu copies you, leaning against the doorframe with a pout.
despite being sick as a dog, he won’t go down without a fight. out of principle, of course.
“what about the special i was gonna run?”
“you can do it next week,” you test the water with your palm before adding some epsom salt in.
“what will the regulars do when they head to the store?” osamu puts his palms up dramatically and snorts when you roll your eyes.
“im heading into town tomorrow, i can put a sign in the door. trust me ‘samu, i think they will appreciate you being closed. who wants to eat onigiri from someone with a runny nose?”
he doesn’t say anything. for a minute, you think he’s finally rested his case. after he slips in the bath and lets out a comfortable sigh, he decides to put one last ditch effort in.
“produce gets delivered tomorrow! i have to be there for that!” he’s comically large in the small tub the two of you share, knees folded up as he tries to sink in. you shake your head and he groans.
“fine, fine. okay. i’ll close tomorrow. ya happy?”
“thrilled,” you place a towel next to the tub and sit down. “you need to rest, samu. the shop will be there when you’re better, i promise.”
he pouts again, but this time it’s genuine.
“but i’m never sick,” he splashes water on accident when he leans his head back against the wall. “i take good care of myself! i take my vitamins, drink lots of water, get good sleep,”
your lips tug into a smile.
“and that will help you beat whatever you have even faster. but for now, let’s take it slow okay? get plenty of sleep, heal your body, and stay home.”
osamu nods, and let’s his eyes close. he soaks for a few minutes, relishing in the relief his achey joints feel for the first time all day. while he gets ready for bed, he can’t help but feel his heart swell as he watches you grab extra blankets for his side, knowing he will probably be chilly tonight.
“i’m probably gonna sore with all this shit in my nose,” he sinks under the covers, propping his head up on the extra pillows you set up for him.
“you snore anyway,”
“do not! ya liar,” he smacks your bum when you snuggle up next to him. “don’t touch me, i’ll get ya sick. i’m real contagious,”
you place a big kiss on his forehead before getting back to your original spot.
“i’ll take my chances,” you listed to osamu’s steady heart while he falls asleep. osamu is always taking care of you, grabbing your favorite things from the shop because he’s thinking of you. carrying you when your feet hurt from the heels he told you not to wear, bringing you glasses of water because he knows you aren’t drinking enough, and never asks for anything in return.
“i love ya,” osamu whispers, half asleep and hums when you squeeze him closer.
“i love you too, samu. sleep well.”
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avalypuff · 10 months
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Answers to the common questions of “Why didn’t Zelda retain dragon features?” and “Why did Link’s arm revert to normal?”
I’ve been dying to do some analysis posts since TotK came out, and after seeing a lot of people complain about the above, I decided my first should be related to the endgame.
So, I’ve seen a lot of posts where people seem to misunderstand what was going on when Zelda changed back into a Hylian, and why Link’s arm returned to normal. Many write this off as simply plot convenience, and while it’s true that Nintendo wouldn’t want to leave the main characters of one of their most popular titles with permanent changes, I’m here to try my best to explain the actual reason these things happened the way they did, because whether you noticed it or not, there is plot relevance to this reversion.
Draconification is permanent.
This is an indisputable fact.
And while I have seen people criticizing the way Zelda changed back, the fact is she swallowed the stone knowing that she never would.
“I’ll be forever changed…”
Her cry for Link to find her was not for her sake. She wasn’t depending on him to find the key to changing her back. Nay, the only reason she desperately prayed for him to find her was so that he could get the Master Sword, which—ignoring game mechanics that would allow you to beat Ganondorf with literally any weapon with the right damage/durability ratio—canonically is the only thing that can hurt him.
When Zelda changed back, it was almost entirely thanks to Sonia. That’s right!
…Let’s take a second to recall this scene in which Rauru decimated the horde of Molduga.
We see Sonia extend her hand and then gesture for Zelda to do the same.
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Here they’re extending their own power to amplify Rauru’s counterattack, even beyond the already-massive boost the Secret Stone provides.
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In the final scene when Link finds himself hovering over the sleeping Light Dragon amongst a dream-like atmosphere, it’s really quite telling that Sonia is the first to rest her hand over Link’s, then followed by Rauru.
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This time Rauru is fulfilling the role of amplifying Sonia’s power over time. Not just that, but adding it on top of the time manipulation that Zelda gave to Link at the beginning of the game.
That’s what’s happening here. This is immensely powerful, triple amplified time magic!
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The change from dragon to Hylian wasn’t a transformation in the same sense that it was when Zelda changed from Hylian to dragon. I know that’s a confusing sentence, but consider the basis of Sonia’s time magic is recalling things as they once were.
Zelda didn’t retain dragon features because, through the power of time reversal, she was never a dragon to begin with.
This is the also the reason the Secret Stone reappeared on her necklace.
This is ALSO the reason Link’s arm reverted to its natural state before he was affected by the gloom.
And before y’all come at me with “well, why didn’t Rauru do that in the first place instead of giving his arm to Link?” Simple; Sonia wasn’t there. Even spirits aren’t omnipotent… in Hyrule. (Probably.)
The point is, this was essentially a lucky break for Zelda and Link, because if Sonia (and therefore Zelda, by inheritance) didn’t have time magic, there would have been no way to undo the Draconification. It would have been every bit as permanent as Hyrule legends and history says it is, and Zelda would be gone forever.
In fact, it’s likely it was a shot in the dark even on Sonia and Rauru’s part, considering there was no prior knowledge of reversing time on a dragon, let alone a person. It was a glorious blend of the convenience of Sonia’s time magic, and luck that it worked out the way they (“they” being all characters involved) wanted.
Anyways, to wrap this up, Draconification is indeed permanent, unless you have the number one badass-master-of-time-manipulation Queen Sonia on your side. Then you can probably undo anything. :)
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