#anyway my goal instead of having a story at lots of places is i want multiple stories out at the same time

[physalian]

How to Make Your Writing Less Stiff Part 3

Crazy how one impulsive post has quickly outshined every other post I have made on this blog. Anyway here’s more to consider. Once again, I am recirculating tried-and-true writing advice that shouldn’t have to compromise your author voice and isn’t always applicable when the narrative demands otherwise.

Part 1

Part 2

1. Eliminating to-be verbs (passive voice)

Am/is/are/was/were are another type of filler that doesn’t add anything to your sentences.

There were fireworks in the sky tonight. /// Fireworks glittered in the sky tonight.

My cat was chirping at the lights on the ceiling. /// My cat chirped at the lights on the ceiling.

She was standing /// She stood

He was running /// He ran

Also applicable in present tense, of which I’ve been stuck writing lately.

There are two fish-net goals on either end of the improvised field. /// Two fish-net goals mark either end of the improvised field.

For once, it’s a cloudless night. /// For once, the stars shine clear.

Sometimes the sentence needs a little finagling to remove the bad verb and sometimes you can let a couple remain if it sounds better with the cadence or syntax. Generally, they’re not necessary and you won’t realize how strange it looks until you go back and delete them (it also helps shave off your word count).

Sometimes the to-be verb is necessary. You're writing in past-tense and must convey that.

He was running out of time does not have the same meaning as He ran out of time, and are not interchangeable. You'd have to change the entire sentence to something probably a lot wordier to escape the 'was'. To-be verbs are not the end of the world.

2. Putting character descriptors in the wrong place

I made a post already about motivated exposition, specifically about character descriptions and the mirror trope, saying character details in the wrong place can look odd and screw with the flow of the paragraph, especially if you throw in too many.

She ties her long, curly, brown tresses up in a messy bun. /// She ties her curls up in a messy brown bun. (bonus alliteration too)

Generally, I see this most often with hair, a terrible rule of threes. Eyes less so, but eyes have their own issue. Eye color gets repeated at an exhausting frequency. Whatever you have in your manuscript, you could probably delete 30-40% of the reminders that the love interest has baby blues and readers would be happy, especially if you use the same metaphor over and over again, like gemstones.

He rolled his bright, emerald eyes. /// He rolled his eyes, a vibrant green in the lamplight.

To me, one reads like you want to get the character description out as fast as possible, so the hand of the author comes in to wave and stop the story to give you the details. Fixing it, my way or another way, stands out less as exposition, which is what character descriptions boil down to—something the audience needs to know to appreciate and/or understand the story.

3. Lacking flow between sentences

Much like sentences that are all about the same length with little variety in syntax, sentences that follow each other like a grocery list or instruction manual instead of a proper narrative are difficult to find gripping.

Jack gets out a stock pot from the cupboard. He fills it with the tap and sets it on the stove. Then, he grabs russet potatoes and butter from the fridge. He leaves the butter out to soften, and sets the pot to boil. He then adds salt to the water.

From the cupboard, Jack drags a hefty stockpot. He fills it with the tap, adds salt to taste, and sets it on the stove.

Russet potatoes or yukon gold? Jack drums his fingers on the fridge door in thought. Russet—that’s what the recipe calls for. He tosses the bag on the counter and the butter beside it to soften.

This is just one version of a possible edit to the first paragraph, not the end-all, be-all perfect reconstruction. It’s not just about having transitions, like ‘then’, it’s about how one sentence flows into the next, and you can accomplish better flow in many different ways.

4. Getting too specific with movement.

I don’t see this super often, but when it happens, it tends to be pretty bad. I think it happens because writers feel the need to overcompensate and over-clarify on what’s happening. Remember: The more specific you get, the more your readers are going to wonder what’s so important about these details. This is fiction, so every detail matters.

A ridiculous example:

Jack walks over to his closet. He kneels down at the shoe rack and tugs his running shoes free. He walks back to his desk chair, sits down, and ties the laces.

Unless tying his shoes is a monumental achievement for this character, all readers would need is:

Jack shoves on his running shoes.

*quick note: Do not add "down" after the following: Kneels, stoops, crouches, squats. The "down" is already implied in the verb.

This also happens with multiple movements in succession.

Beth enters the room and steps on her shoelace, nearly causing her to trip. She kneels and ties her shoes. She stands upright and keeps moving.

Or

Beth walks in and nearly trips over her shoelace. She sighs, reties it, and keeps moving.

Even then, unless Beth is a chronically clumsy character or this near-trip is a side effect of her being late or tired (i.e. meaningful), tripping over a shoelace is kind of boring if it does nothing for her character. Miles Morales’ untied shoelaces are thematically part of his story.

Sometimes, over-describing a character’s movement is meant to show how nervous they are—overthinking everything they’re doing, second-guessing themselves ad nauseam. Or they’re autistic coded and this is how this character normally thinks as deeply methodical. Or, you’re trying to emphasize some mundanity about their life and doing it on purpose.

If you’re not writing something where the extra details service the character or the story at large, consider trimming it.

—

These are *suggestions* and writing is highly subjective. Hope this helps!

[loverboydotcom]

see the thing is the one story i've got accepted this year i started drafting at the start of this month and went on a whirlwind editing it every single day over the course of a week and then it got accepted on the first (very impulsive) submission and now im like YAYY but im like what now i want to submit again :( but all i have are multiple flash pieces that i have been dragging through the mud trying to make work and will need to skin alive and then stitch back together before they can be read by other people again

[epiicaricacy-arts]

oh we’re still so young, desperate for attention

this was super experimental so i will talk about my process (+ clearer version) under the cut

i’ve been looking at a lot of “messier” or more textured painting styles recently and an artist that stuck out to me is clariondeluna ! they posted a self-portrait recently that i really liked and i was super interested in the brushwork seen in their work. i love all the textures and how the shapes feel so loose yet everything is so detailed.

that’s not a method for me at all!!!! i cannot paint like that at all and the stuff i like to paint is very different to theirs. which is okay!!!! i had no intention to copy this artists style so closely like with what i tried to do in my raiden painting, i just wanted to try this style out :^)

it’s been a goal of mine to avoid over-rendering like i tend to do a lot, and i think i’ve been doing good with that recently! the mindset i’ve got going on right now is that if i find myself staring at it too hard for too long, i have to leave it and move on. if there’s still something wrong with it, i can fix it later once ive got a fresh view!

i’ve been trying a lot of things with my art this year. i always try to challenge myself with each piece, and to end the year off i wanted to be as uncomfortable as i possibly could be with this painting. i let myself draw whatever i wanted because i still wanted to enjoy it, but everything i did in this process was new, including parts of the subject matter.

i’ve never drawn a head at an angle like this, and i struggle with drawing mouths open. i don’t do bold lighting like this, and if i do, it’s not fire. i’ve never drawn fire! i also rarely work with warm colours and i hate using green, so i combined those to be my colour palette. i like working cleanly so instead of having a dozen different layers for one section, each section only had 1-2 layers for rendering. instead of clipping masks i would simply paint over things loosely and clean it up later. i never like having limbs cut off in a drawing so i had his other arm go GOD knows where. i don’t like weird patterned backgrounds so i made myself figure out how to like it!

IS THIS MY FAVOURITE PIECE OF ALL TIME. no. absolutely not. but i’m very proud of how this came out with all the challenges i put on myself. i WANTED to get better at these things and be more broad with my art, both in terms of the styles and subjects i portray.

okay let’s talk about wtf this drawing is

for those who don’t know, the design in this painting is my fatui/“Father” lyney fan design (read the design post here). the concept isnt super complicated and i don’t really have much explanation for it, but i wanted to combine the story of how lyney wanted a delusion before getting his vision, fire eating circus acts and how olympic medalists will bite their medal to prove it’s real??? don’t quote me on that i’m like 75% sure that’s a thing that happens. i don’t watch sports though so im just believing someone i heard on the internet ages ago.

anyways. i think fire eating acts are cool. and i think the fact that lyney wanted a delusion is very interesting to me. scratches my brain in the right places. and yk as a magician lyneys character revolves a lot around fooling people and creating illusions so i guess what im saying here is that lyney is trying to prove to himself that this power he’s been bestowed is real. bc his whole life his only constant has been lynette so he is trying to see if he can trust this new power. cause i guess this is an alternate universe where lyney does eventually become “Father” but he never got his vision ??? idk im not making lore for this i just wanted to dress up this funny little guy.

ok i’m done

thanks for reading

here’s my dog

[jessequinones]

Writing Advice: Chapters

A lot of my advice comes down to, having beta readers, and “it’s up to you” which doesn’t sound like good advice but when it comes to writing, everyone writes differently so there are different ways of doing the same thing. So, what’s my advice when I talk about chapters?

To me, a chapter is a section of the book which talks about a certain event. There’s no right or wrong way for how long the event should be, and there’s no right or wrong way of how the event can start or end. Here’s how I write my chapters and what I’ve learned along the way.

Starting the chapter:

Before I start the chapter, I need to figure out what the main event is gonna be. Will this event be informational? Action pact? Suspenseful? It can also be a combination of a few events as well, such as having my characters find information, but something goes wrong and now they have to escape.

After I figure out what the main event is gonna be, I start writing and once I complete that event I end it and move on. I try not to carry on too much after the main event has finished because I feel like my chapters might drag if I do.

Writing the chapter:

When it comes to a chapter, I try to have a beginning, middle, and end section. (Keep in mind this doesn’t work for every chapter.) Let me explain what I meant about those sections. The event in this example is Nix and Dante are tryna get information, but something goes wrong after they get said information. So the chapter starts at the beginning where Nix and Dante enter a secured location. The middle is where they get passed all of the alarms and hacked into the network. The ending is they got the information but an alarm gets triggered anyway.

Expanding the chapter:

So, I wrote the beginning, middle, and end, the event is done, but it was kind of boring. Let’s expand it to them escaping. This is where I think chapters start to become long. Some people combine two events into one chapter and some events are longer than others. Escaping a secured facility sounds more difficult than sneaking in. So, adding an escape attempt can spice up the chapter, but you need to be careful with how you do it.

I think when people complain about long chapters, one of their reasoning is “This feels like it could’ve been split into two chapters”. It might be the fact there are two separate events, both with their beginning, middle, and ends. If you want to expand upon your chapter, I would change how the beginning, middle, and end originally played out so it feels more natural when you go from one event to the next. This will take practice and beta readers can help if a chapter sounds too long or just right.

So instead of sneaking into a place, getting the information and having to escape. I would get rid of the middle part where Nix and Dante were sneaking and just show them entering the building, maybe talk for a few paragraphs before they reach their end goal because I already know escaping is gonna add several more pages. It’s a trial and error, and some readers might prefer the sneaking portion, while others might enjoy the fast pace. The end result is what do you like?

Continuing chapters:

What about chapters that don’t need a beginning, middle and end? Those chapters are what I call, continuing chapters. The most obvious examples of continuing chapters are the final climax of a story, like a big battle. The big battle might take multiple chapters to get through, and starting at the beginning, middle, and end of each chapter where the main event is the final fight, might get a bit tiresome. A simplified way of taking a large event, like a big fight, and breaking it over several continuing chapters is having each chapter be its own thing. Let’s say it takes three chapters to finish the final confrontation. The first chapter is the beginning, so there’s lots of build-up, but nothing too bad. The second chapter is the middle and is normally the longest out of the three. It’s the one with the most fighting and maybe a character dies at the end as a cliffhanger. The third chapter is where the villain is defeated and the fight is over thrust concluding the three sections.

That was a very simplified way of explaining continuing chapters, but yeah, not every event can be told in a single chapter, sometimes you have to space them out a bit. I would recommend letting the readers know that said event will most likely take a long time to complete so they'll be aware it's gonna be a long read.

Length of a chapter:

People often ask, how long should a chapter be, and there’s no real answer to that. Some can be a page, and I’ve seen others that are thirty. (Looking at you DragonFire). I personally don’t try to go for a word count or page limit. Often times when I try to make my chapters reach a certain goal, I find there’s a lot of filler that could’ve been cut. This is why I like to write my chapters as if I were writing an event and just focus on the event itself. If I need to expand or get rid of something, I can do that later.

My chapters are normally three pages in length, whenever I go over that, I try to tell my readers the next upcoming chapters will be long. This kind of tactic will depend on your story of course, but let’s go back to Nix and Dante.

In the example, Nix and Dante went into a secured location, took some information and got caught, now they needed to escape. If I want to add the escape portion in the same chapter because breaking in was kind of short, I might tell the reader before said chapter even began that “This mission won't be an easy one”, or “You’ll need to be real careful stealing the information because if you get caught, guards will come.” So, by the time Nix and Dante do get caught, the reader should be aware, the chapter will continue for a few more pages.

Oh yeah, if you’re gonna write a long chapter, make sure to have at least one smaller chapter to break it up. (DragonFire) Having long chapters, after long chapters, is, at least for me, very tiring. I don’t like to stop reading midway through a chapter, but reading thirty pages in a day is very difficult. So if you know you have some long chapters, throw in a few short ones.

Readers might also hate long chapters because they feel like there’s a bit too much filler in them. (Filler-in chapters aren’t the same thing as filler chapters).

Filler-in chapters might appear in one of two ways, either there’s too much filler to get to the main event, or there’s too much filler and the chapter should’ve ended already. Beta readers are a good way of telling you if there’s filler in a chapter or not. Keep in mind, that you, as the writer know what’s best for your story. Readers can only tell you how they feel. If you feel the “filler” part isn’t filler, but a lot of people say it is. Finding a workaround can be difficult. Unfortunately, I don’t have any advice on this kind of topic because this kind of writing problem is unique for every writer. Writing groups might be able to help as they’ll have your text and can help figure out what's going on.

Filler chapters:

There’s nothing wrong with filler chapters. Not every chapter needs to focus on the main story. I personally like filler chapters. They’re fun chapters which explore the characters and the world. A bit of a refresher after an intense fight is fine. When people complain about filler chapters, it’s often because there’s a bit too much of them. Or they came out of nowhere and killed the pacing. For example, if everything has been dark and gritty, having a chapter that’s more on the upbeat side is strange. Also if the chapter ends with a character's death and the next one ignores it, readers might not like that. This is one of the reasons why I don’t like POV swapping between every chapter. If someone dies in character (A) POV, and the next chapter switches to character (B) POV where they’re on the beach…I might get a bit annoyed. Even if Character (B) POV isn’t filler, I just witnessed someone die, I wanna know what’s going on and not swap to another POV.

Also filler chapters tend to be on the shorter side as well. If a filler chapter goes on a bit too long, then it might feel like the story is losing its focus a bit.

Beta readers can help point out which chapters are filler and where to add in filler if that's something you want to do.

Chapter Endings:

Ending a chapter is always interesting, do you want to end it with a cliffhanger or not? Does your chapter flow smoothly from one to the other? I don’t mind cliffhanger endings but try not to make every chapter a cliffhanger. At some point it becomes a bit much for some readers such as myself, I prefer to stop reading at a good stopping point. Cliffhangers aren’t a stopping point, I need to see what’s gonna happen next. Creating a cliffhanger after a long chapter, for me is a bit much. Long chapters already drain me, and forcing me to continue to get to an actual stopping point will make me enjoy your book less. (I understand no one is forcing me to read a book, but I just really, really hate stopping at cliffhangers). Not to mention if there are multiple cliffhangers in a row, I might put the book down and not pick it up for a long time because I’ll have no idea how many cliffhangers I’ll have to deal with before getting to an actual pause in the story. Personally, as a reader, I feel like there needs to be good stopping points. Places where it’s safe to stop reading and the reader can pick it back up later.

If you end a chapter in a city and the next one starts in a jungle, that kind of scene change might be a bit confusing so again, just send it through a couple of beta readers and see how you did with the transition portion of going from one chapter to the next. The same thing goes for tone as well. If the last chapter ends with a death, and the next one is in a circus, the tone shift might be a bit much. Just pass it along with a beta reader.

That’s about it for chapters. If you want some more detailed advice on certain chapters then let me know, but chapters are one of those things where it comes with practice. The length, the event, the ending, all of this stuff will be determined by your ability to write. Beta readers are a great way of pointing out how they felt while reading a chapter and you can go from there.

[jennyandvastraflint]

Would love to hear more about your thoughts on the commercialisation of fandom!!

Ooooh, boy you've opened a can of worms. I took a Fan Studies course at uni for a module bc I could choose it, and I did a lot of research into this specific topic... I hope it's okay that I'm just putting in some of my slides and then summarising underneath each!

Now, fandom in, for instance, fan fiction spaces, works on the basis of a Gift Economy in which gifts rather than money are exchanged. However, these gifts aren't just meant for one person, but for many, and even when you for instance do an artwork or a fanfic for someone, other people can still ALSO read it. These gifts can (but don't have to) be responded to with another gift, be it a comment on a fic, or a fic in return. Now, I could go into much more detail here, but I recommend checking out for instance this text by Trisha Turk on the TWC for some more in-depth stuff about this. (I'll list all the sources I used in the presentation in the end btw!) The gist of it is that fandom is a very complex system in which the reciprocation of gifts - and therefore labour - is distributed across the community.

(more under the cut)

HOWEVER capitalism, as always, comes along and tries to ruin things for profit.

Fandoms continue to form because of the unrestricted movement and no one dictating what is well, "really" canon and what isn't. I'm sure you've witnessed some fans in more recent years refusing to ship things that "won't become canon anyway", positioning the canonicity of a ship or a scenario higher than... well, their own critical reflection and interpretation OF the media and their own creative endeavours. At the end of the day, canon for me personally is something to draw on, negotiate with, or reject if it's stupid, while more recent fandoms I've seen sometimes go about their engagement with fandom as a sort of... worshipping of canon almost, and where being noticed by the creators is sort of the ultimate goal.

Now, this is of course connected to corporations realising that hey, actually people engaging with our media and creating something about it bring in numbers, and with them being able to make a profit off of views on social media, they seek to drive certain forms of engagement with the content. However, they are of course seeking to police HOW you engage with things, and don't you dare stray from their vision too much. This, of course, harms especially marginalised communities who propose alternative readings of media, who subvert the show itself and who transform it into something else, adding themselves into the work and into a world where, by design, they were invisible. It's also an attempt to undermine fan activism and grassroots organising by fans (if you wanna hear more about fan activism shoot me another ask and I will ramble <3 edit: link to post about fan activism) by keeping them in line with a sterilised version of fandom. In this sterilised and controlled version, the forms most often encouraged are things like video edits (but don't be too out there, that's bad too) that can be consumed like content by fandom... They like video edits, sterilised fanart, and things that are easily consumed and bring numbers, but "don't you dare write that nasty Spirk fanfiction where they have sex in the captain's chair! Ewww, yuck yuck!"

Rather than having a fandom driven by community, you have one driven by consumption, and that has become increasingly clear in the past few years, with readers on fan fiction asking "When next chapter?", pressuring artists, writers, etc. for more 'content' for them to consume without a) participating in the Gift Economy fandom is built upon and b) realising that these fan works are gifts to the community in the first place, and not content... These are, by the way, often the same fans who will cheer on AI because now they can finally read a story they wanted someone to continue :D Instead of using their own fucking brain, they're asking a bot trained on scraping works to produce them some bad, surface level jumble of words just so they can consume, consume, endlessly consume without ever having to think.

A few years ago (well in like, the late 2000s), a site called FanLib wanted to profit off of the resale of fanfiction, but were quickly shut down. Their mistake was that they mistook the community of fandom for a commodity to exploit for their own commercial interests. I'm not sure you've seen it, but Wattpad has sent authors emails asking them to update their fics frequently because it would appease the algorithm (see Tumblr Post about this here), which leads me to my next little point!

Algorithms! If you have ever done fan edits and posted them on sites like TikTok, Instagram, etc., you'll have noticed that... unless you post regularly and frequently (like. one edit a day at least), the algorithm will NOT push your video at all and it will be buried. Algorithms are based on how well a post performs not in terms of actual community that is built, but of course on numbers. Wattpad also functions on an algorithmic principle, which is why you have some........ individuals coming to AO3 and complaining about the supposed algorithm, spamming their work and reposting it, yadda yadda. Basically, these fans are so used to being spoonfed by an algorithm by now, they are confused when they are actually left on their own and are supposed to learn some basic fandom rules. It's honestly frightening to see fandom not only be reduced to this surface level interaction and to number-based algorithmic systems, but also to the trend-hopping TikTokification of fandom.

A study done by Booth and Dare-Edwards published in 2021 that focused on school age children basically came to the following conclusions... Children still connect "fan" with the same stereotypes of obsessive and unruly individuals that were plaguing us thirty years ago. A whole bunch of children think fandom is a thing of the past and that it peaked in the early 2000s - and while fandom of course is different now and has changed with the spread of the internet, fandom very much still is A Thing. Further, children connected fandom and being a fan mostly with buying merchandise and collecting, and also with plain consuming content, echoing "neo-liberal associations of ‘emotion’ with ‘buying power’, but at the same time, seemed to pathologize those who practice fandom (as they see it) ‘too much’" (Booth and Dare-Edwards 230). The text concludes that while there has been an explosion of media and you are becoming more multi-facetted in what you are a fan of, lilypad hopping and essentially abandoning fandoms after a brief period of surface level engagement and consuming content is increasingly becoming more common. From my own experience, this is for instance the case with shows like Willow (2022), Good Omens(ish), etc. Pretty much anything more recent doesn't have as stable a fanbase and if you enter the fandom a month too late it's already fizzing out. It's really fucked up, honestly.

Right, after that long tangent about this, I want to bring up ancillary models, which is an attempt by capitalist companies to market the previously unwanted Gift Economy of fandom as something new and desirable, but something they are in control of.

Ancillary Content Models try to lure fans in with "free" Behind-the-Scenes content. The guise they have stolen from fandom of acting like a Gift Economy of saying "here, this is for all our dedicated fans <3 Consume :D" is used to downplay the commercial infrastructure these Content Models (honestly it's already in the name). The "gifted" content is more concerned with getting loads of people to individually consume as much of it as possible to create an alternative revenue on for instance social media through views, clicks, likes, etc. They're essentially trying to commercialise our viewing time and keep us engaged with that additional content as much as possible. Rather than having a community that comes together to share their ideas and stories around a metaphorical campfire, Ancillary Content Models want each person alone to sit and stare at the stuff they put out as much as possible, always placidly clicking "like" and demanding more. They also want to cultivate an "official" fan community (aka the ones most dedicated to consuming additional content) that they can monitor and control, and they don't encourage anything that's too... out there, too subversive, too queer, etc. Coined "re-gifting economy" by Suzanne Scott, capitalism with these Ancillary Content Models has warped the Gift Economy fandom functions on into a model that equates consumption with community, and which wants to profit off of fans' engagement and their free labour of making viral TikTok edits that adhere to the sterilised version of what a fan "should be". The example I used in my presentation for this is from The Dragon Prince, which, while I do love the show, has been pushing such Ancillary Content Models. They also have a Discord (which is regulated and monitored) as their "official fan community" place, and not only are the rules pretty strict, but it also just... doesn't feel like a community but just like a bunch of people wanting more content gathered in one place :/

Now, to conclude this, capitalism sucks and is trying to ruin fandom communities in order to replace them with something they can make some more money of, and rather than having a critical fanbase that questions things, they want one that endlessly consumes the "free" content they churn out. Stay active in fandom, remember we're a Gift Economy, learn the fandom rules, and keep hating capitalism <3

Fan Work: Labor, Worth and participation in Fandom's gift economy by Trisha Turk

Now, the sources I have used for this...

Repackaging fan culture: The regifting economy of ancillary content models by Suzanne Scott

Stanfill, Mel. “The Fan Fiction Gold Rush, Generational Turnover, and the Battle for Fandom’s Soul.” The Routledge Companion to Media Fandom, edited by Melissa A. Click and Suzanne Scott, New York, 2017, pp. 77-79.

"No one's a fan of anything anymore, this isn't 2002.": Surveying 7–17-year-olds on being a fan and contemplating the future of fandom. by Paul Booth and Helena Louise Dare-Edwards

[mcbride]

Daryl Dixon Rewatch S1E06 - Coming Home

it's the first ep with an English title and the last of the season. overall, i wanna say i was actually surprised how much i did enjoy watching. the complete focus on Daryl without all the background noise/storylines/characters, the way he still means what he says, but he's actually using his words and lots of sass instead of the typical nodding and grunting. good job!

but i gotta confess that if i hadn't known beforehand that Carol was going to be a part of this show, i probably wouldn't have bothered 🤷‍♀️. the fact Carol's not only back on screen, but she is such a great part of the whole vibe of the show, was actually unexpected. this show is straight up showing us Carol is the driving force in Daryl's relentless journey to get back home.

whoever tries to convince you Daryl is conflicted about where he belongs and where he wants to be is lying to you (pointing at you, Z!!). he literally spends 6 whole episodes reminding everybody he's got a home, people who love him waiting, a promise to keep, and a need to get back asap.

it doesn't mean Daryl does not form connections while on that journey. because he does - the strongest with Laurent, obviously, however, none strong enough to hold him back from his ultimate goal, which is going home to keep his promise to CAROL!

anyways, let's get to the season 1 finale:

the super!walkers fighting scene in the arena is pretty epic: from Daryl's super cool kill with the French flag to that Daryl/Quinn team up! the cherry on top being Daryl throwing that walker head at Genet. Loved IT!

Quinn eventually does help Daryl escape, and later, unfortunately, almost kills Isa, who is once again totally helpless against any kind of threat (killer nun, my ass!). in a scene eerie similar to the one in Daryl's underwater premonition a couple of eps ago, Daryl prompts Laurent to kill walker!Quinn with a "God will forgive you."

Laurent says something that sounds like it will be the whole point of Caryl's French adventure. "Sometimes you have to do horrible things, and no matter how bad you feel, if there is no other choice, God will forgive you." this feels like the key to breaking out of the cycle Carol has been stuck to since she was banished by Rick. (i'll probably post my s2 spec and theories next week!)

next, we see Daryl watching lovebirds Sylvie and Emile saying goodbye, they have to separate (i see what you did there, Z!), and reassures Sylvie that Emile will be alright before she asks him if he's ever been in love. BOY, has he ever!! Daryl's non response is quite telling. he knows what it feels like to say goodbye to the one you love without knowing if you'll ever see them again. and he's not alright, he's all the way in a whole different continent, separated by the Atlantic ffs.

we get some new insight into Daryl's origins when he and Isa share stories about their fathers. Daryl believes that his grandpa never returning home from war ruined their family for future generations and worries the cycle might repeat itself. has Daryl been reading about generational trauma? sharing this with her will bite him in the ass, later!

Isa's confession of her lie about the drawing gets absolutely no reaction from Daryl because it had zero influence on what happened next. Daryl didn't stay cause he believed in a new Messiah, he stayed because the kid was about to get in trouble, when Codron attacked his home; he stayed because it was a way of finding help getting him closer to a radio or boat to actually get him home; he stayed so he could take the kid to a place where he would be safe, and Daryl could finally leave without feeling guilty.

the great Daryl and Isa exchange looks compilation is trying too hard to show us, yes, Daryl has made a connection to these people, and is fairly content at the Nest with Laurent and the most mundane activities like peeling potatoes. they are showing us Daryl could stay here, make this his new home. why not? HE MADE A PROMISE! no matter what he could never be happy here, this is not his HOME.

Losang gives him a way out, but also tries to convince him to stay. "Sometimes, when a person leaves home, he comes to find he belongs someplace else." and it's true, if Daryl didn't know where, with whom he belonged. and it's not with Laurent and Isa.

it's really embarrassing how Isa tries to manipulate and guilt trip Daryl into staying with them using Laurent and Daryl's history. it has been like 2 months tops, and they acting like Daryl himself gave birth to Laurent, and wants to abandon his kid. bitch please, he has kids he actually raised and a wife back home!!

Daryl resents his grandpa for abandoning the family to fight in someone else’s war, and that's exactly what he would be doing if he chose to stay in France. that's what Isa will never understand - he had a whole full life with people who looked up to him, relied on him, loved him, before he even met her and Laurent. he wasn't lost. the connection he found with the people there isn't new to him, he has Judith and RJ, he has Connie and Zeke. but most importantly, he has a HOME (Carol!!!).

there's this beautiful emotional moment of Daryl quietly saying goodbye to a sleeping Laurent, and it's clear this kid means a lot to him. however, not nearly enough to make him stay. he still chooses to LEAVE. so many people trying to convince him he belongs with them, and he is still 10000000% sure he has to go back. there truly is ZERO hesitation.

i lost count how many times Daryl actually tried to leave, but it was always the kid's safety that kept him around again and again. he is so close to getting on that boat, literally fiercely fighting walkers to get to the beach, to get closer to HOME, and the same happens AGAIN. biggest FML moment for Daryl. Laurent, who is surrounded by walkers, is calling his name! FUCK ME!

and finally, we get to the highlight of this finale, Carol's badass entry. the way she's so absolutely calm with a big dude pointing a gun at her, PLEASE. she knows he's fucked around and is about to find out. no one takes Daryl's belongings and gets away with it.

"if you're lying, i won't be back." and she rides off on Daryl's bike. ICONIC. LEGENDARY. EPIC.

21 days left until the premiere of THE BOOK OF CAROL!!!!!

[marlynnofmany]

Talking Sports

“And then I found out we weren’t the only species to invent football!” I said to Wio as she opened food packets. Normally I would have enjoyed watching the way someone with tentacles unwraps things, but I was focused on my story. “I mean, I know it’s a very simple concept, but that was incredibly strange to turn the corner and see a bunch of beefy dinosaur-looking people tackling the quarterback.”

“I’m sure,” Wio said, popping the lid off a jar. “Is this one of the ‘gimme the ball’ games, or ‘get rid of the ball’ games?”

“Um.” I paused to think. “I guess you can categorize them like that, can’t you? Never thought about it. It’s a ‘gimme the ball.’”

“Are those the more common type?” Wio pushed my own lunch tray towards me, which I’d forgotten about.

“Thanks. Maybe?” I poked through the stack of individually-wrapped human foods as I thought. These were from another mystery box of Earth stuff from our last supply run. I started with the turkey jerky. “There’s a lot of sports to keep track of. Fighting to keep the ball is football — and rugby, which is similar — soccer, where you just use your feet; basketball, where you have to keep bouncing the ball; hockey, where you smack it across the ground with a stick… Oh, and lacrosse, where you throw it with a stick that has a net on it. And I’m probably forgetting a ton.”

“Mm,” Wio said conversationally. She scooped up a mouthful of stinky fish paste with the Strongarm version of a spoon, which had a handle shaped like a jumbo tongue depressor. She didn’t bother grabbing it, just sticking her suction cups to the underside. “That’s six. What about games where the goal is to chuck the ball into the sun?”

I talked over a bite of jerky. “There’s probably not as many, at least if you’re strict about the definition. In baseball you’d definitely be a star if you hit the ball into orbit, but the others tend to have a specific place where you want the ball to go. That can be the other side of the court, like tennis, volleyball, or badminton — or even ping-pong — but then there’s golf, where it looks like you’re trying to whack the ball as far as possible, but really you’re aiming for a tiny hole at the end of the field.”

“Six again,” Wio commented. “Or just one, depending on definitions.”

“I know I’m forgetting some,” I said. “What else is there where you throw the ball as far as possible? I mean, there’s competitive javelin throwing, but that’s not the same kind of game. One person at a time going for the highest score, instead of two teams playing against each other at the same time. With javelins, that would just be actual warfare, and then you’d be aiming at people anyway, not going for distance.”

Wio finished the fish paste. “You do seem to have a lot of team games,” she said. “I’m used to more of that ‘highest score’ kind.”

“Yeah?” I asked, intrigued. “What kind of sports do Strongarms have?”

“Well, we do have some that are cooperative,” she admitted. “At least where I’m from. A lot of races, some with an object to carry and a goal. Sometimes the object is a teammate. And there are a few varieties of wrestling, some with limitations or challenging locations.”

“That sounds fun. Challenging how?” I reached for more jerky, and realized the package was empty. I moved on to a squeeze-tube of applesauce.

“Oh, there’s a bunch of options,” Wio said, waving a tentacle. “People are always coming up with more. My favorite is probably the balancing on top of a pole one.”

“Cool.” The applesauce was nice and cinnamon-y. “Do you have a least favorite?”

“In a box,” she said immediately. “That one is stupid and hard.”

“I bet!” I said.

Wio began peeling what looked like a blue-and-green onion. “But anyway, most of the competitions are solo challenges. Lots of puzzles. And many of the ones with multiple people acting at once are just a way of saving time so we don’t have to wait to see who’s best at the puzzle.”

“Do you do any climbing?” I asked. “Obstacle courses?”

“Oh sure,” she said. “Some of the races are vertical. And there’s a whole category of seeing who can wriggle through odd-shaped openings the fastest.”

I watched her peel the thing, which had far more layers than I’d expected. “Sounds like the only games with a ball to move around are the races. Some of them.”

Wio paused and stared at the wall with a thoughtful expression on her octopuslike face. “I’m probably forgetting some too, but nothing’s coming to mind. There are things with floating objects, but those are more swimming challenges, not focusing on the objects themselves.”

“Pity,” I said as she finally ate the core of the onion, which was the size of a grape. “Ball games can be a lot of fun.”

“I believe you,” she said in the tone of someone not particularly motivated to do anything about it. Then she started eating the blue onion skins like potato chips.

“Have you ever tried one?” I pressed. “Even a simple thing like catch or keep-away?”

“I don’t know what either of those are, but I can guess.” She said, crunching away.

“What about…” I searched through my food options for an orange or a walnut or something. I found a tuna can. “Table hockey! Here, set the trays on the bench; I just want to show you real quick.”

I didn’t really expect her to agree, but she shoved the last of the crunchy things in her mouth and moved the remainder of her lunch. This table wasn’t very wide, hardly a proper playing field, but that would make it easier for a rookie. I set my tray on the bench seat next to me and explained the rules. “We just whack it towards each other and try not to let it fall off our side of the table. If you get it off my side, you get a point. Got it?”

“And the other sides are no one’s point, right?”

“Right. If we want to make it harder, we can say you lose a point for hitting it off there, but no need.”

“All right.” She splayed an unfair number of tentacles across her side of the table. “Let’s do it.”

I shoved the can at a reasonable speed, only to have her thwap it back at me hard enough to hurt when I caught it. I laughed. “Oh, it’s going to be like that, is it?”

Wio smiled with her weird little alien mouth. “Was that meant to be difficult?”

“Oh, it is on.”

Thus began a riotous game of table tuna, which ended up making such a ruckus of laughter and whacks against the cabinets that Eggskin came in from the kitchen to see what was going on.

Wio waved three tentacles at them. “We’re playing an Earth sport!”

“I see,” they said, turning their scaly head in a clear inspection for damage to the cabinets. “I trust you’ll be eating the contents of that can, now that you’ve thoroughly dented it.”

“Sure, sure,” I said, turning the can over. “Oh, this is starting to leak, isn’t it?”

“And I trust you’ll be cleaning up your own mess?”

“Yep. Sorry.”

“I’ll leave you to it, then.” Eggskin swept away with all the dignity of an elder who’d caught the kids getting into trouble. I had no idea how old they were, but they definitely had grandparent vibes sometimes.

Luckily the can had only dripped a little, and was easy to wipe up. Wio and I were soon back with lunches in front of us. I was looking for crackers to put the tuna on when Wio spoke up.

“You should try a Strongarm game now.”

I looked up. “I suppose that’s fair. Do you have one in mind?”

She held up a white jar with multiple seams and no obvious lid. “A classic puzzle is opening something without looking. Like this youth-proof seal.”

“Okay,” I said, holding out a hand for it. “I’ll give it a shot.”

Instead of handing it to me, she grinned wider. “You can’t just sit there, of course. You should lie down on your back. And open it under the bench behind you.”

“Whaaat,” I said. “You are making that up.”

She was outright giggling now. “This is literally a child’s game to see if they’re old enough to open containers on their own.”

“Fine.” I got as comfortable as I could on the hard bench, and she handed me the jar. I held it under the bench, and immediately regretted my choices. “Ow. This game was designed for someone who has tentacles instead of shoulder joints.”

Wio’s voice oozed amusement. “Surely you can handle a child’s puzzle? Come on, I’ll open this one at the same time. See if you can beat me.”

I grunted, twisting at yet another part that didn’t twist. Today’s lunchtime had turned out so educational. “I guarantee you I cannot.”

~~~

Inspired by this post, and also partly by the octopus skill at opening jars.

Ongoing backstory for the main character of this book. More to come!

[mahomadjicks]

Been seeing some posts about the Q and A the clash writing team did and man…

((WARNING: light rant below; mostly me rambling about worldbuilding aaaa))

I’m not fond of what the writing team wants to do, especially since it seems like they’re hyper-focusing on the kudos/street managers. It’s this section in particular that’s got me thinking and worried.

MAN does this phrase here have a lot of food for thought. Not just because of the horror fanfic i’m making, but now things clearly seem to be taking a large turn into the ‘Manager-focused plot’ I feared Clash would write themselves into.

Idk. The way i’m thinking about it, it’s a bit self destructive writing wise for suits to be in inherent ‘tiers’. (Grunt cogs have less personality/free will than managers, ete.)

If one of the goals is to show how COGs Inc exploits and mistreats their workers, isn’t it shooting yourself in the foot saying ‘COGs inc is a horrible company to ALL its workers’, but then turning to say ‘oh yeah, all those cogs aren’t as sentient compared to THESE ones’—

Like, in the case of ‘grunt’ cogs, wouldn’t these cogs be the ‘ground zero’ of the atrocities the company commits? Literally built for one purpose in life, in a cycle of being destroyed and rebuilt constantly without any say or agency. Being held under the thumb of a dubious company that in all technicality owns you, so you can’t really leave unless you’re fired?

If the grunt cogs were just as self preserving and sentient as the managers, then the message would be hammered in better. THEY’d be the ones constantly put under all the pressure for virtually nothing. Instead, the writing team has introduced the dilemma of ‘who is aware/deserving of company rights’.

If these (grunt) suits are inherently ‘lesser’ than their manager counterparts, then it changes the gravity of the situation from ‘discriminatory company practices’ to ‘changing a piece of machinery.’ No real loss, and its business as usual. The very problem i’d imagine the writing team wants to warn and help players to recognize in the story.

While not treated much better, it’s been shown/implied that manager cogs (specifically kudos/street and Litigation) get a lot more benefits and free time than anyone else besides bosses.

Removing personality/preservation from ‘grunt’ suits changes this element in the story from ‘They have higher positions, thus better work benefits,’ to ‘They get those benefits because they KNOW that they have them in the first place.’

In general, lot of the managers seem to have the luxury of being built without a specific company in mind, having childhoods, and ultimately CHOOSING to work at COGs Inc. Many seem to forget the whole reason the kudos/street managers were hired in the first place was in response to Atticus Wing’s death.

They weren’t randomly ‘dropped in’, and now the story needs to be changed to accommodate them. There already was an explicit reason, and it doesn’t seem to conflict with any manager lore after the fact. Why bend over backwards to force them into the story rewrites more?

I understand the managers are super popular, and have been a game changer in terms of story and gameplay, but I honestly feel they’re also blinding people in terms of prior lore and potential lore avenues. There’s no need to break the story/lore further to make the ‘special’ cogs even more ‘special’.

At the end of the day, I get the writing team wants to add more flavor, and I commend them for doing all this for free! Writing isn’t easy, and this isn’t me hating on them at all. I’m just not fond of this manager-centric mindset gripping people. I’m certainly looking forward to all the future content they wish to add, specifically rewrites in toon NPCS.

Anyway just had this in the back of my mind for a minute, feel free to throw in your two cents if ya like.

[lightandfellowship]

KHDR Re:Write - Giving Hermod A More Prominent Character Arc

Urd's rewrite can be found here.

The tl;dr:

Hermod’s initial motivation: To uphold the "greater order" and follow the rules no matter what.

Hermod’s struggle: He doesn’t always agree with the rules, and following them often results in both him and his friends getting harmed. His commitment to following the rules even at the cost of himself partially stems from him feeling like he has no control over his life, and he copes by assuming that (most) authority figures are trustworthy, competent, and have his best interests in mind.

Hermod’s conclusion: He needs to be willing to break the rules and think for himself in order to do what’s right and protect his friends.

Below the read more is a rough outline of how I would implement this character arc into the story. Be forewarned that it's a fairly long and text-heavy post.

Four notes before we begin (feel free to skip):

Rather than this being a full-fledged rewrite where I get to go ham and do whatever I want, instead my goal is to try and demonstrate how the game in its PRE-EXISTING state could have given Hermod a more clear and satisfying character arc via fairly minor changes to the dialog, characters, and story. I want to see if this could have been possible without having to expend too much extra time and resources, since it seems like a lack of time/resources/budget is why his story got cut in the first place. So I won’t be doing anything drastic like creating entirely new episodes or anything like that. Same worlds. Same number of episodes. Same sequence of events. Same overarching plot.

Ideally, I would have liked to convey certain details about these characters and their story via secret reports/diary entries. Specifically, the sorts of details that would slow the pace down or feel a little too direct/clunky if addressed within the story itself. However, because of the self-imposed restriction I talked about in point 1 (i.e. no drastic alterations to the game or additions that would require extensive effort to implement), I won't be utilizing such a format, and so I will sometimes have the characters speak a bit more openly/directly about their feelings/thoughts than I otherwise would've liked.

Because I have a lot to say, I won't be providing summaries of the episodes I'm discussing as I explain my story changes. A fairly solid recollection of the game's events is...perhaps not required, but certainly helpful for understanding what I'm talking about and how I arrived at my choices.

I don't claim to know better than the writers or even be an experienced writer myself, this is just how I personally would approach giving Hermod a more prominent character arc, because I think we can all at least agree that Hermod didn't get enough focus in this game. If Hermod's story hadn't been cut (presumably), I have no doubt that Tomoco Kanemaki would have come up with something better than what I'm proposing here.

But anyway, without further ado:

Hermod's Motivation and Personality

"Simple as that."

During the flashback where the underclassmen are asked why they want to become Keyblade Masters, Hermod is initially flustered at the question, as if he either didn't have a good answer prepared or was reluctant to say what it was. He averts his gaze and noncommittally agrees with everyone else’s reasons, avoiding the question somewhat, but then he clarifies that he’s doing it so that he can “uphold the greater order." This phrasing is a little vague, but I assume he basically just means that he wants to uphold the law of Scala, Keyblade wielders, and Light.

Based on his behavior and dialog here, it almost seems like Hermod became a Keyblade wielder for much the same reason as Eraqus: it was just expected of him. It was what he was told to do, and he always does as he’s told. But he nonetheless is content with the path chosen for him because he knows that it’s the best way to uphold order and protect his loved ones. As his official bio states, “he plays the role of big brother as he looks out for and takes care of everyone.”

Honestly, I think even in the base game Hermod’s “arc” is fairly obvious: he goes from strictly following the rules to being willing to break them for his friends. However, the problem is that the game doesn’t really focus on Hermod enough to make this arc feel sufficiently developed and explored. As in, the end of his arc just kinda happens abruptly with very little build up. So, in my rewrite, I’m going to have Hermod more frequently demonstrate his commitment to upholding order, and have him do it in a way that impacts the events of the story more, while also having the narrative address the consequences of that mindset more directly.

Also, as an aside, Hermod's official bio makes special mention of his anger, but I don’t think the game showcases that aspect of his character enough? So I'll try to incorporate his anger into the story just a tiny bit more. To be clear, I don't really want his anger to be framed as, like, this major character flaw of his (for the purposes of this rewrite, his major character flaw is going to be his aforementioned strict rule-following), I just want it to crop up more often in the story to add more Flavor to his character. It seems like the original intent was for Hermod to be the fire to Urd's ice, but the game doesn't really convey that all too well, if you ask me.

Before we move on, I want to quickly summarize some canon aspects of Hermod's character that are going to be important to this arc, things that are consistently established about him throughout the game, to the point where it would be silly of me to list every single example of these character traits as I walk you through my rewrite (I will be mentioning some of them in more detail later, though).

He's a model student. Hermod tends to be the one who takes charge in class; he's the one who approaches Odin with the underclassmen's issues, speaks on behalf of the underclassmen, and volunteers for tasks. He also tends to prioritize Odin's wishes and judgment.

There's some implied friction between him and Eraqus that eases up as time goes on. He tends to give Eraqus annoyed and disapproving looks whenever Eraqus talks back to Odin or says something ignorant. That being said, he also seems fond of Eraqus, smiling and laughing at jokes about his antics.

With that, let's get into the rewrite.

Episodes 1-2: Establishing Hermod's Character, and "The Problem"

To start off with, I want to point out a small detail at the very beginning of the game that leads me to believe that Hermod isn’t actually satisfied with being such a well-behaved rule-follower.

When the underclassmen talk about the potential existence of newborn worlds that don’t have rules or laws set in place yet, Hermod, after some quiet contemplation, remarks with “Then the rules can be changed...” (this is even the quote chosen for Hermod’s official bio, no less!) The fact that this thought crossed Hermod’s mind at all, and the fact that the narrative chose him specifically to be the one to deliver this line, makes me think that he has some unspoken desire to see the rules be changed despite his best efforts to be a model student. This is great, because it provides a decent foundation for his character arc and hidden depths.

TANGENT: I want to highlight a moment in Episode 1 that will be relevant to this rewrite later. Namely, Hermod getting annoyed at Eraqus talking back to Odin. (As I said before, there are several other moments throughout the game where Hermod looks at Eraqus with an annoyed/disapproving look, but I'm only going to mention this one.)

Anyway, on to the actual changes. First off, much like the Urd rewrite, I’m removing the mechanic from Episodes 1-3 that lets you choose your third party member for the cutscenes. Why? It just doesn't make for good writing in this particular case; the dialog has to be at least semi-generic across all the characters in order to make swapping them out easier, and that's simply not conducive to giving the characters unique character traits and individual focus.

Episode 1 is mostly uneventful and focuses more on Urd in my rewrite for her, so let's move on to Episode 2.

Urd is your party member for this episode (for reasons I explained in Urd’s rewrite), and Hermod, Vor, and Bragi are the three party members that get put on trial. And rather than all three of them yielding to the Card Soldiers because they unanimously agreed to not mess with the world order, instead it was HERMOD’S idea specifically. Bragi suggested that they fight back, and since Vor’s bio mentions that she “shies away from battle”, she suggested that they try to run away and evade capture. Hermod points out, however, that the best way to avoid disturbing the order would be to follow the laws of this world and not cause trouble.

Vor and Bragi are hesitant but ultimately decide to trust Hermod’s judgment on the matter, as they tend to rely on him as a big brother figure anyway. This serves to highlight how Hermod will follow the rules and obey authority even when he doesn’t necessarily agree with what’s happening to him or is put in serious danger because of it. Now, none of this happens on-screen of course, because we also didn't see what happened in the base game either, but we'll find out about it after the trial.

Speaking of the trial. When Xehanort, Eraqus, and Urd find the other underclassmen at the court on trial, it is Hermod who is leading the defense. In the base game, either Bragi or Hermod will lead the defense depending on who you picked as your third party member, but since I want the trial plotline to focus more on Hermod, in this rewrite it is only ever Hermod who stands in front and speaks to the Queen of Hearts. (A quick note, if you compare the two different versions of this scene, the one where Hermod leads and the one where Bragi does, Hermod comes across as a bit more apologetic, whereas Bragi puts his foot down more about what he's willing to take responsibility for. Hermod: "Okay, I apologize for trespassing." vs Bragi: "Wait, I'll own up to tresspassing, but that's it.")

Anyway, back to Hermod and the rewrite. At first, he's a bit of a bootlicker, being very polite and trying his best to placate the Queen while also calmly defending himself and his friends. After a while of trying and failing to reason with the Queen however, Hermod loses his patience and explodes at her. He pretty much immediately regrets it and tries to backpedal in a panic, stammering the entire time, but it's too late—that was the last straw for the Queen. Just like in the base game, Xehanort, Eraqus, and Urd recognize the danger and intervene to try and talk the Queen down from executing their friends. The cutscenes then proceed just like they do in the base game, with the Queen demonstrating that her rule is based on her subjects living in fear of her.

After the trial, the discussion the underclassmen have about the darkness in people's hearts being more dangerous than the Heartless still happens, but either before or after it there is a separate (but still interconnected) discussion where Hermod apologies to the others and takes responsibility for his idea to surrender themselves to the Card Soldiers, explaining his reasoning for why he did that. Namely, that as Keyblade wielders, it was their duty to not disrupt the order in any way, and their hands were tied.

Xehanort and the party exchange Knowing glances to indicate that this isn’t uncommon behavior for Hermod (and also that they’re not exactly pleased about how quickly and easily he relented to the Card Soldiers, not putting up much of an argument or fight) but they silently agree to not confront Hermod about it since he had no way of knowing what a farce the trial was going to be. Perhaps letting themselves get captured would have been the correct decision if Wonderland’s court system was actually fair. Instead they assure him that they understand why he thought that not fighting back or running away was the best decision in the moment, but nonetheless he needs to be more careful in the future. Hermod agrees and is genuinely apologetic for putting his friends in danger, but there’s still a hint of irritation in his expression. He still thinks that adamantly refusing to disrupt the order was the inarguably right decision to make; after all, it’s what they were specifically instructed to do by Master Odin. And if there's one thing that Hermod refuses to do, it's break the rules.

Episode 3: Minor Details of Note

Episode 3 isn't a Hermod focused episode in my rewrite, but there are two details from this episode that I find worth mentioning.

Detail 1: Unique dialog from Hermod that won't exist in my rewrite (because I have Vor slotted for Episode 3) but I think says a lot about Hermod: "But the Tweedles didn't seem to be cowering under [The Queen's] rule. They looked happy enough to me." Does Hermod perhaps consider himself "happy enough" with his life, and thus makes no attempts to change or improve his circumstances?

Detail 2: When Eraqus starts getting angry and upset at Xehanort because Xehanort said that the upperclassmen might have been felled by darkness (presumably, a painful reminder of the fate that befell Eraqus' grandfather), Hermod looks sympathetic, puts his hand on Eraqus' shoulder, and tries to calm Eraqus down. Though Hermod is sometimes at odds with Eraqus, he seems to know about what happened to Eraqus' grandfather, and tries to be understanding about it. At the end of the day, they are good friends even if they don't agree on everything.

Episode 5: Further Emphasizing Hermod's Personality and His Dilemma

Canonically, Episode 3 (if you choose Vor to be your party member like the game prompts you to) and Episode 4 are more Vor focused, and in my rewrites Episode 5 is Urd focused, but we can squeeze a couple of minor Hermod moments in Episode 5 to keep things balanced.

Specifically through Cogsworth and the Beast, as people of authority in the castle that Hermod can show respect to.

With Cogsworth, I just imagine Hermod being very polite with him and being more than willing to help him get the rose back, giving him respect as the head of the household.

Same goes for the Beast (in fact, in the base game it is Hermod who speaks/approaches the Beast first, not Urd like you'd expect), but when the Beast tries to viciously attack Hermod despite the underclassmen being very polite and reasonable with him, afterwards Hermod makes a comment about how surprised he is that someone in such a respectable position as lord of the castle would act like that and yet still garner such love and loyalty from his servants. Genuine loyalty, not the fake, fear-based loyalty that the Queen of Hearts commanded back in Episode 2.

"There's still much we don't know about this world and its residents. Perhaps we're missing something important. Or perhaps this world is like Wonderland; it's just the order of things." says Xehanort. "Maybe he's not so bad once you get to know him?" offers Urd.

And like, that's the thing, right. The Beast definitely needs to learn how to treat his servants better, but he lashes out because he's hurting, not out of genuine disdain for them like the Queen of Hearts, and deep down he really does care about his family at the castle even if he doesn't always show it. If Hermod can somehow recognize that that is what's going on, if he can recognize what exactly makes the Queen of Hearts and the Beast different despite their similar temperaments, then he can also realize that "Hey, people who genuinely care about you and your wellbeing probably deserve your loyalty more, and those who don't, don't." (Not that the Beast is a terribly great example of this given his nonetheless inexcusable behavior, but you get the idea.)

I can imagine Hermod starting to realize what conditions are required to birth true loyalty in people's hearts after they return the rose to the Beast, and the party finally sees him in a more calm, grateful state. This could be a discussion that Xehanort, Hermod, and Urd have as they leave the castle, capping off their adventure there.

BUT regardless of whether or not Hermod ends up seeing the hidden humanity of the Beast, once again Hermod is being presented with a wrathful, flawed authority figure wielding power against their subjects in unfair ways, and not yet recognizing how his alarmed and frustrated emotional responses to these scenarios could be applied to his own life and circumstances.

(And, honestly, maybe seeing such extreme examples of anger being wielded carelessly and spitefully against people who don't deserve it would make Hermod re-examine his own anger issues too and learn how to wield/direct his anger more responsibly? I know I said I didn't want his anger to be the focus of this rewrite (especially since anger isn't inherently bad) but the connection that can be drawn here is still a little too juicy to pass up, don't you think. Also, in addition to the Queen of Hearts and the Beast being examples of extreme anger wielded carelessly, there's also Hades to consider, who is known for his own unique brand of fiery, explosive anger as well. Keep him in mind for later.)

Episode 6: Confrontation and Introspection

The next set of major events relevant to Hermod’s development occur in Episode 6. In fact, Episode 6 is like, THE Hermod episode.

Episode 6 starts off with Jafar trying to trick Xehanort, Urd, and Hermod into going to the Cave of Wonders and fetching the lamp for him, lying about how the lamp is crucial to saving the kingdom. In the base game, Hermod is the first one in the group to show sympathy for Jafar and start falling for Jafar’s ruse, to the point that Urd worriedly grabs his hand to stop him when he starts to approach Jafar after overhearing Jafar's "woes".

In this rewrite, I’m taking inspiration from that little interaction and having Hermod be way more trusting of Jafar than Xehanort and Urd are, implicitly respecting Jafar’s authority as the royal vizier. So rather than Xehanort being the one who agrees to help Jafar (because he has suspicions about the lamp and wants access to the Cave of Wonders) with Hermod acting surprised/displeased at Xehanort’s willingness, instead it's Hermod who enthusiastically agrees to help, with Xehanort and Urd acting a little surprised and displeased but nonetheless going along with it (due to the aforementioned "the lamp might be important to our mission actually.")

There's also a moment during this scene where Xehanort and Urd start poking holes in Jafar's sob story and Hermod seems surprised/displeased that they're so rudely questioning Jafar like that, and obviously I'm keeping that in since it exemplifies Hermod's hesitation to question authority.

Afterwards, as the party makes their way down into the Cave of Wonders, Xehanort voices his doubts about Jafar’s intentions. In my rewrite, rather than Hermod instantly trusting Xehanort’s judgment of Jafar’s character, instead I want Hermod to argue with Xehanort about it. Hermod doesn't understand why Xehanort is accusing Jafar of nefarious intentions without any evidence to back it up, especially since Jafar seemed so...NORMAL and COMPASSIONATE compared to the other authority figures they've encountered so far. He's just trying to save his city, is that really so bad? says Hermod.

Xehanort, realizing that "I can feel his greed/darkness tho" doesn't really qualify as hard evidence, but ALSO being kinda fed up with Hermod's inflexibility and compliance up until this point, calls him out on not thinking for himself and just blindly following authority even when they're so CLEARLY suspect. Must I remind you about what happened with the Queen of Hearts, Hermod?

Hermod, shocked and offended at being criticized like that, and also getting defensive at having his Major Character Flaw thrown into his face, scoffs but doesn’t argue the point further. However, he’s still very visibly angry, and short with Xehanort whenever they do happen to exchange words. "Whatever. Let's go find this lamp already and get back to our mission." Or something like that.

It’s only when the party runs into Bragi and Eraqus who reveal that Jafar tasked them with the exact same dangerous mission too without ever mentioning them to Xehanort and company that Hermod is finally convinced that Xehanort had been right all along. Jafar was treating them like disposable pawns and knowingly sending them into a death trap.

He also realizes that he was naive to trust Jafar so easily just because he was a charismatic authority figure. Before, Hermod was presented with the unfortunate reality of some authority figures just being plain cruel and incompetent and careless, but here he learns that they can also be deceitfully charismatic on top of that, and that it's not always going to be obvious when you're being taken advantage of.

He apologizes to Xehanort for (yet again) dragging his friends into danger due to his own personal hang-ups and choosing to trust Jafar, a stranger, over Xehanort, his close friend. Feeling the need to explain himself, he confesses that lately, he has felt like he has had no control over his life (perhaps with the implication that his family is really strict and expect way too much from him?), and the only way he knew how to cope with that was to assume that the authority figures controlling every aspect of his life were trustworthy, knew what they were doing, and had his best interests in mind. If he believed that with all his heart, then he could accept his lack of freedom to make his own choices, and be content with it. Xehanort, realizing that he was overly harsh on Hermod earlier, apologies as well.

TANGENT: Once again, I wish to highlight a moment from the base game that will be relevant later. Namely, Hermod and Eraqus starting to act more and more like each other.

Moving on: In addition to Vidar trying to recruit Eraqus in the lamp room, I want Vidar to try to recruit Hermod as well, because there's an awfully convenient similarity between the two of them that's relevant here. In that very scene, Vidar talks about how he and his friends heeding what they were taught (i.e. “don’t mess with the order no matter what”) is what resulted in four of them dying in the first place. Vidar had to learn the hard way what happens when you blindly follow the rules without considering your own opinions on what the right thing to do is. This lesson is absolutely what Hermod needs to learn, too. Perhaps Vidar’s entreaty isn’t enough to convince Hermod to join him, but in conjunction with the Wonderland fiasco and Jafar’s deceit from earlier, it’s certainly enough to make Hermod start re-evaluating himself. 

Specifically, I can imagine this theoretical Vidar and Hermod interaction slotting somewhere after Hermod's canon line "...upsetting each world's order is the worst thing you could do." (Is it? Perhaps Hermod will change his mind about this very soon...) Maybe it goes something like this (my added dialog in italics):

"I don't have a clue about true darkness and how much of a threat it is, but upsetting each world's order is the worst thing you could do." says Hermod, angrily. "'Don't upset the order,' huh? That's what we were taught, too." [Upperclassmen classroom flashback, followed by Vidar explaining that the other upperclassmen are dead, just like in the base game.] "And what about you, Hermod?" "Huh?" Hermod's anger gives way to confusion. "How has 'upholding the order' treated you and your friends so far? In Wonderland, and here in Agrabah?" (<-knowledge he got from spying on them.) "..." "If there's one thing I've learned from all of this, it's that you can't let darkness have its way. Not ever. Otherwise, it'll take away everything you care about the moment you give it the chance. If you wish to protect your friends...then you must fight it. So why not join me, and fight it?"

Hermod, much like Eraqus, refuses Vidar's offer, being worried about what might happen to the worlds if Vidar continues to steal the items of world order. But now he has something to mull over.

Episode 7: Realization and Resolve

Episode 7 is where Hermod's arc concludes (naturally, since he dies here.)

A couple of canon moments from this episode I want to highlight before we get to my changes, since I think they're important to Hermod's arc:

In the scene where Odin and the underclassmen discuss Vidar's plans to purge true darkness, Odin says to Hermod and the underclassmen "However, it has not yet been determined that what we face now is true darkness. And if it is indeed so, will you risk the lives of countless others to save your friends?" A question that we will actually get an answer to quite soon.

After Odin relieves the underclassmen from their duty, Hermod despairs over this fact and acts like there's nothing they can do about it since Odin's word is absolute. We see his anger and frustration spill out due to his conflicting feelings on the matter. He seems to be at a crossroads, unsure of what the best thing to do is. You get the impression that he is on the cusp of doing something uncharacteristic of him.

Anyway, Episode 7 remains mostly the same up until the Hades boss fight that occurs due to Hades claiming to have imprisoned Bragi or Baldr. Hermod, after much internal conflict, finally decides to break the rules and agrees to fight the literal GOD of the Underworld (you could not have asked for a more fitting ending to Hermod's arc than that) in order to save his friends, wielding his anger compassionately and strategically to protect what's most important to him. This acts as a bookend to the Wonderland episode; there, Hermod’s refusal to fight an authority figure nearly got him and his friends executed, but here he’s finally realized that he needs to follow his heart and do what he thinks is right, even if that means disregarding his orders or disobeying those in power. He nearly got his friends killed last time; he won’t let that happen again.

However, instead of Hermod showing up after the Hades boss fight, I want him to show up before it and actually be involved in the battle. And since Eraqus and Hermod are usually at odds with each other due to Eraqus’s flippant and disrespectful attitude towards authority, I think it would be very emblematic of Hermod’s change of heart for him to protect Eraqus in the battle. (Remember those canon Eraqus and Hermod moments I highlighted? This is where they finally pay off. This moment of Hermod putting himself in danger to save Eraqus works without me having to add any extra details to lead up to it. Nice.) So at one point Hades gets very close to offing Eraqus. but Hermod jumps in front of him just in time to fend Hades off, getting seriously injured in the process. 

So later in the dark corridor when Hermod starts passing out way before Urd does, it’s specifically because of the extra wounds he sustained in the fight, adding another layer of tragedy to his death. He stood up for his friends and what he believed was right, discarding his strict adherence to the rules and disrupting the order in the process, but the ironic cost of that choice was that he was too hurt/exhausted to properly protect Urd and himself from Baldr. He did his best, and realized his error in time, but unfortunately that just wasn’t enough. This game is a tragedy where nothing goes right despite how hard the characters try to change for the better, after all.

And that's my pitch. As before, if you have any ideas, feedback, or criticisms, feel free to add on. Thanks for reading to the end.

[bigmusclenm]

Sweet Gains - Part 2

[Story Collection] | [Part 1] [●] [Part 3🔵]

Liam was even more excited to meet Aiden on his second day at the gym. After the best workout ever, thanks to the effects of the desserts, Liam wasn’t only excited about gaining more muscle. But his main goal was to see the already hunky Aiden become even bigger. As he walked down the street, as excited as Liam felt about the gym, he needed to stop by the bakery shop to get more desserts for Aiden.

Standing in front of the bakery shop, Liam noticed a new sign on it. The sign said “Big Boy’s Bakery,” adorned with the shape of a bicep beneath it and a decorative cupcake added to it. Lower in the sign, in smaller letters, it said, “Powered by The Sizemologist.”

“That’s an interesting name for a bakery shop, but it definitely suits this place. The owner is definitely a big boy,” said Liam as he walked into the bakery shop and immediately went to check on the special collection. “Okay, what can I take for Aiden today? His pecs looked incredible yesterday.”

“Good morning, welcome to our bakery shop. I see you’re interested in our special collection,” a voice said behind Liam, making him turn around to face the man, whom Liam thought was Chris. “I’m Sam, the owner, and I’m sure you’ll love our desserts,” the new man said, and Liam was surprised to see the blonde man, standing at about 6’2” with a kind smile, looking at him. Sam was wearing a blue apron that stretched over his massive, tight-looking belly—the biggest Liam had ever seen. Sam also had enormous pecs that rested heavily on top of his belly, and his thick nipples were visible under the fabric of his gray shirt. Everything about Sam was thick and soft but in a somewhat strong way.

“Oh, hey. I’m Liam. I thought, I mean, I met this huge guy yesterday, and he said he was the owner,” Liam said, looking straight into Sam’s pecs instead of his face.

“Hey, buddy… up here,” Sam joked, and Liam blushed. “You met my husband, Chris. We run this place together but take turns because at least one of us should stay home. Soon, it’s going to be me at home and Chris here, but that’s another story,” Sam added, rubbing the side of his belly and smiling at Liam.

“Oh, yeah, he told me about you, and he actually mentioned people looked at your pecs and his pecs, and I mean, you have... I mean, you know... I-I… Oh crap, I’m talking too much again.” Liam blushed again, and Sam laughed.

“It’s fine. We’re a very ‘peculiar’ couple, so we’re already used to people looking at our chests, but anyway, tell me, what can I do for you? If you’re the guy I think you are, you bought some desserts yesterday on your way to the gym, right?” Sam said as he waddled to the glass counter that contained the special collection.

“Yeah, that’s me. Did your husband tell you about me?” Liam asked.

“Yes, he did. He told me you were pretty excited, and he was sure you would come back for more today. We try to give all our clients personalized attention, so we talk about stuff at night,” Sam said, opening the glass counter. “I think you had fun with your chest yesterday. You want to have the same, or maybe focus on some other areas?”

A very excited and anxious Liam stood in front of the glass counter and looked at the options. “Well, Aiden said we would focus on my lower body today, so maybe something to help me with that? Thighs and calves and, well, glutes?” Liam said, still a bit shy.

“Sure. Let me see. We have these granola bars. Sorry about the names; my husband names these things, and they can be a bit silly. Glute Gainer Granola Bars—that’s what he calls them. I’m partial to Booty Builder Bars, but he’s the chef. What about two of these?”

“Yeah, that sounds great. Or, make it four so I can share it with Aiden. He’s my trainer,” Liam said, and Sam grinned at him.

“Okay, it sounds like Aiden will have lots of fun too. So, four granola bars. I recommend these honey cakes. Chris calls them Hamstring Harmony Honey-cakes. Again, sorry about the silly name. Four of them, two for each of you. And the Power Pops are one of my favorites, so let’s add two of them,” said Sam, and Liam could barely contain his excitement.

“Could I also get something for the chest?” Liam asked.

“Sure. I have something new. This one is a post-workout dessert. It’s chocolate pudding, and believe me, it tastes incredible. Chris calls it Pec Pump Pudding,” Sam said, chuckling as he packed everything in a box. “I’m sure you’ll have lots of fun, and I hope you’ll come back tomorrow.”

Liam smiled and paid for the desserts. With every visit, Liam fell more in love with the bakery shop. Also, he couldn’t stop thinking about the owners. Even though Liam didn’t want to get a big belly like Sam’s, Liam couldn’t deny that the rest of him looked incredibly hot. As Liam slowly walked away, he turned around once again and saw Sam rubbing his belly and smiling kindly at him. He was definitely going back to the bakery shop the next day.

A few minutes later, as he arrived at the gym, Liam could barely contain his excitement as the memories of his last workout started filling his mind. It wasn’t only about the incredible sensation coursing through his body as his muscles grew with every rep, but also the amazing sight of Aiden’s muscles growing and making his clothes look tiny on his body. The more Liam thought about it, the more he convinced himself that Aiden needed to get much bigger.

Liam left his backpack in the locker room and literally ran to the machines, where Aiden was waiting for him. As soon as Liam saw Aiden, his dick stirred to life in his gym shorts because the man looked incredibly hot. Aiden wore a tight-fitting tank top that accentuated his perfectly sculpted pecs and showcased his building deltoids. The trainer’s wide lats were visible, and Liam made a mental note to buy something to increase those massive wing-looking muscles.

Even though Liam was enamored of Aiden’s upper body, the trainer had on the snuggest sweatpants Liam had ever seen, leaving nothing to the imagination. Liam’s mouth watered as he approached, and he could see more closely the impressive shape and size of Aiden’s ass. His thighs seemed bigger than Liam remembered, probably because the pants looked almost glued to the skin. Liam knew he would have a hard time focusing on his workout with such a perfect man guiding him through it.

“Hey there. I’m sorry for the delay,” Liam said as he stood behind Aiden, unable to look away from the guy’s butt. “I brought something to compensate for making you wait.”

Aiden turned around and kindly smiled when he saw Liam’s face. “Hey, no problem, you’re just... 2 minutes late? That’s not even late, buddy,” Aiden responded, shaking Liam’s hand. “But I won’t say no to those candies. I recognize the box. The desserts you brought yesterday were amazing.”

“Nice. Today, I got some new stuff. Granola bars, honey cakes, the power pups to chew, and something to regain energy after the workout,” Liam said, opening the box to a visibly excited Aiden.

“Dude, you’re going to make me fat with these things, but man, they look delicious,” Aiden said, reaching for the box to pick up a granola bar. “Half and half, I guess?” asked Aiden.

“No, take three, and I’ll take one. You’re bigger, so you need more food, and as I said, this is to compensate for the delay,” Liam answered, and Aiden chuckled.

“Only this time, I won’t say no, but you gotta stop this unless you want a fat trainer,” Aiden said as he took a big bite of the first granola bar and groaned in delight at the flavor. “Dude, this is delicious. You have to tell me the location of this bakery shop. I’d buy the whole place.”

“Exactly what I said. I’m glad you like it. Don’t be shy, and eat. Granolas and cakes before the workout, power pops during the workout, and the pudding for later,” Liam explained, but Aiden had already devoured his three granola bars and was halfway through the cakes. Liam slowly ate his part of the order and put the box aside, leaving the pudding for later.

Once both were ready, Aiden told Liam that the first set would be regular squats to teach him the correct form to do them, followed by pause squats and other variations of the same exercise. Since Liam was new to all the workouts, he just followed Aiden’s order, barely focusing on what he was doing because he was too busy looking at Aiden’s ass.

As Aiden explained to Liam about the proper position of the legs to do a squat, moving Liam’s legs effortlessly, Liam felt his ass randomly flexing unconsciously, and this made him wonder if Aiden was feeling the same. Aiden had eaten three times the dose Liam had gotten, so it was very likely the effects would appear faster or with more intensity. As Aiden moved around him, Liam’s eyes stayed on the guy’s ass, and he soon realized that it had a fuller and more sculpted appearance.

Unaware of what was happening to him, Aiden continued explaining the squats and the muscles that could grow using different variations. He used his own glutes and legs to point to the different muscle groups, and he started feeling strangely cramped in his snug sweatpants. He adjusted the back of his pants as he stood in front of Liam to show him how to go down properly and stay there for the pause squats.

As Aiden did the first squat, asking Liam to pay close attention to how his muscles reacted to the movement, he could feel a strange but satisfying burn coursing through his glutes and thighs. Doing a regular squat was some of the easiest exercises for Aiden, but as he did a second one, he felt the back of his pants getting uncomfortably tighter around his ass. As he rose, he noticed his pants were lowering at the back, seemingly unable to cover his butt.

“You got it? It’s not that difficult,” Aiden said, turning around to see a speechless and shocked Liam. “Your turn.”

“Eh… I-I think I need to see it again. Please,” Liam responded, pretending to need more explanation but only wanting to see Aiden’s ass once again.

“Hmm, okay. But pay attention, okay? Look how this simple exercise activates the glutes and the thighs,” Aiden said, pulling the pants up once again but feeling the seams at the center getting between his ass cheeks. Then, he positioned himself in front of Liam once again and performed two more squats, causing a soft rip sound on the second one. “That should be enough. Now, it’s your turn.”

Liam took a deep breath as he fought his own arousal to prevent his dick from getting fully hard in his shorts. He performed a few squats, seemingly doing it wrongly, so Aiden stood right behind him to fix his position as Liam went down again, with Aiden’s torso, crotch, and tights pressed very firmly to his back. Liam was about to lose it as he felt the bigger guy literally covering his body as both performed more squats. Liam felt his ass getting slightly plumper, but that sensation was secondary compared to having Aiden’s body so tightly pressed against him.

“Okay, I think you mastered this one. Well, not master, but you did great, and your back even looks plumper already,” Aiden joked, and Liam blushed. “I’m kidding. It takes time, but squats are great to get bigger butts,” Aiden added, constantly pulling the back of his pants and trying to get comfortable, even though it was clear they didn’t fit him anymore. The pants couldn’t cover the top part of his butt anymore, leaving it uncovered. At the same time, the seams at the sides and the center of the pants were dangerously straining. It looked like the pants were about to burst, but Aiden pretended to be okay.

They changed to the next exercise, but Aiden remembered about the Power Pops. Each of them popped one in their mouth to chew while Aiden taught Liam how to perform lunges to get stronger legs. First, Aiden explained the correct position to perform the lunges, but Liam noticed that Aiden could barely focus on the explanation as he struggled to get comfortable in his pants, which seemed impossible.

As Aiden performed the first lunge, Liam heard something ripping, louder than the previous one, and he saw the right seam of the pants splitting to reveal part of Aiden’s thunderous thigh. The trainer tried to retain some professionalism and act like nothing had happened, but Liam’s shock was visible on his face, making Aiden blush.

“Sorry about that. It had never happened before. I guess it’s time to get new pants,” Aiden said, fixing his pants again, visibly ashamed of what had just happened. “I think your candies and treats are getting me fatter much faster than I expected.”

“You don’t look fat to me. You’re just a big guy, and, well, I don’t mind if you take the pants off. I think you’re hot,” Liam said, blushing when he saw the surprise in Aiden’s expression.

“Wow, what a compliment! Thanks. You’re a pretty good-looking guy, but I can’t take my clothes off while working,” Aiden said, patting Liam’s shoulders.

“Some guys do. Look, there’s one posing in a tiny poser right there,” Liam said, looking at a big guy, smaller than Aiden, posing in front of the mirrors with only a tiny poser on. “And he doesn’t even look as good as you.”

“Yeah, but he doesn’t work here. Let’s save exhibitionism for another day. Now, show me how you do the lounges,” Aiden said, chuckling and adjusting his pants once again.

Motivated by Aiden’s amazing body, Liam followed the instructions very carefully. He could feel his ass and thighs responding with newfound power. Additionally, his entire body felt different. Liam felt every single muscle on his body responding to the exercises he was performing, even though he wasn’t focusing on those muscles. The Power Pops were also kicking in, and as excited as Liam was about his own growth, his attention turned to Aiden’s body to see it change without making any effort.

Aiden’s arms were already thick and strong-looking, but with the Power Pops making him grow, his biceps, triceps, deltoids, and traps were visibly bulging more than just a few minutes before. Also, Aiden started pulling his tight-fitting tank top to accommodate the increasing mass on his lats and pecs. He still seemed unaware of the changes, but clearly, his body was reacting better than Liam expected to the Power Pops.

Liam tried to focus on Aiden’s explanation, but with every passing second, the trainer’s body showed more and more of the effects of the desserts on his body. His tank top looked glued to his skin, but his pants barely held on. Aiden’s ass had grown so big that other guys at the gym had stopped their workouts to check on the massive butt that was taking the snug pants to their limit. Aiden ignored the stares, but he knew something was off because his pants were literally about to burst.

“Okay, one final thing, and one of the machines I enjoy the most: leg presses. It’s pretty easy, so I don’t think you need any demonstration,” Aiden said, standing by the machine he was talking about. “Just sit, feet up here, and the rest is pretty easy. We can start without added weights, so you can see how it works.”

“I’d prefer it if you showed me. I had never used any of these machines, so I’m clueless,” Liam said, asking Aiden for a demonstration he didn’t need but definitely wanted to see. “Just show me some reps, and I’ll try it myself.”

“Okay. Just pay attention,” Aiden said as he positioned himself in the machine after adding some weight. “You get in position, and... you unlock it here and then just... bend your legs and push,” Aiden said as he bent his legs under the weight, causing loud rips at the seams of his pants. Even then, he completed the rep and repeated the movement, causing the fabric of his pants to give way and expose more of his lower body.

Liam’s jaw dropped to the ground as he saw Aiden effortlessly doing more reps and his muscles expanding right before his eyes. His entire body was growing, but this growth mostly focused on his lower body. The pants ripped in the middle from the back to the front, leaving Aiden’s ass and crotch exposed. The seams at the sides didn’t survive either, exposing his thighs. Even the fabric around his calves, unable to contain the mass Aiden was gaining, gave way and exposed his skin for Liam to admire.

On the upper body, the tank top was unable to contain the bulging lats, and the pec shelf was growing with each heartbeat. The seams at the sides also gave up while Aiden continued doing more leg presses, completely entranced due to his impressive growth. Liam was speechless all along, and by the time Aiden finished his reps, Liam’s dick was fully hard in his shorts, clearly visible to everybody.

As Aiden stepped out of the machine, he quickly removed the remaining shreds of his clothes and marveled at his own body. His body felt more powerful than ever, and his muscles looked amazing. Meanwhile, Liam was almost having a stroke as he looked at his trainer in only boxer briefs that looked like they were about to burst, just like the rest of Aiden’s clothes had done.

Aiden’s shoulders looked broader, his deltoids bulging like cannonballs, giving him a powerful and imposing figure. His traps and back muscles looked wide enough to land a plane on that back, complementing the enormous lats that pushed his arms higher from his torso. His biceps had grown bigger than softballs to match the most amazing triceps Liam had ever seen. Aiden’s arms looked thicker than Liam’s legs, and the thick veins pulsing over them made the arms look even bigger.

His pec shelf was a sight to behold. His chest wasn’t just broad but also so thick that the valley between his pecs was a few inches deep. His nipples pointed downward, proof of how much muscle mass he had stacked on his chest. His waist had stayed pretty narrow, but his chiseled abs looked like a brick wall of stone. It was simply perfect.

Aiden’s lower body was even more impressive than his upper body, thanks to the desserts Liam had brought for him. Aiden’s thighs looked like three trunks, and his diamond-looking calves matched them perfectly. Since Aiden was only wearing his boxer briefs, Liam was able to have a clear view of what the guy was packing and was gladly surprised to see the shape of a pretty decent-sized dick and the fullest-looking balls Liam had seen.

Aiden turned around, and Liam gasped in shock at the sight of the trainer’s enormous ass. The stretchy fabric of the boxer briefs strained around a huge and perfectly sculpted butt. It looked like Aiden had fit a pair of bowling balls under his skin, but it was clear it was muscle, with some touches of fat that made it look delicious.

“I have no idea what happened, but I feel great,” Aiden said, exploring his body with his hands while Liam’s face and mind were blank. “I think we should stop for the day. I have to find something to wear before my boss finds out I’m almost naked in his gym. Maybe, once I get dressed, we can eat that pudding together? I’m craving some sweets,” Aiden added, and Liam could only nod.

As Aiden ran to the locker rooms, making Liam’s dick throb in his pants, Liam could barely wrap up his mind to think clearly. He never expected Aiden’s body to grow so much in such a short time. But, considering the desserts were so effective, Liam was more than willing to use all the options the bakery shop had to turn Aiden into an even more perfect specimen.

...

[donnalawliet]

Coffee or Tea? (Five x Derek oneshot)

I really didn't like the way they handled Five's "love story" in Season 4. And even though he would have been fine without a romance too, here's my version of a Five experiencing love with a human. Not with Lila, but with Derek, Five's CIA colleague. This is set post S3 and pre S4. This is my personal addition to the Season 4 fix it movement. And even though it's set prior to that last season, I still think it counts.

I mentioned under a post that I would rather ship Five x Derek than Five x Lila. So...Here I am, doing exactly that.

Thank you @tuttle-did-it , @ashes-and-starlight and @xx-blood-lemons-xx for the initial inspiration! I hope you like it, especially you, @ashes-and-starlight . (I‘ll enjoy your Five diner fanfic when it comes out 😊)

I also wanted to thank @lookingforhappy for the post explaining why Five being a member of the CIA didn‘t make much sense. I attempted to explain some plotholes that you mentioned 😅

One last thanks goes to @i-am-tardis-locked for listening to me rambling all day, like always.

Anyway, let‘s get going!

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Summary: After being stuck in a reset universe without powers or siblings, Five joins the CIA to keep an eye on his family. There, he meets Derek and is suddenly confronted with all kinds of things he hadn't faced in years. Some of them seem uncomfortable at first, but he learns to warm up.

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Stranded in a new timeline, without his siblings or powers, Five was forced to adapt. Luckily, he was used to doing that. His father had once complimented his ability to adapt and Sir Reginald Hargreeves wasn’t exactly known for dolling out compliments for everyone and everything. In the four decades he had spent in the apocalypse, adapting to his enviroment was equal to survival. That included no longer feeling guilty for raiding corpses or no longer being picky when it came to food. The apocalypse was by no means a five star restaurant. When he transferred to the Commission, he had to adapt once more. New manners, new job, new people.

But through all of this adapting, one goal had stayed consistent. To save his family from the impending apocalypse, to go back for them. Once he left the courtyard without his siblings though, still coming to terms with the fact that he had his arm back…his goal had to adapt as well. This was no longer about actively saving his family. It was about keeping them safe. They came above everything else, not him.

Reginald had taught them a few things that back then, none of the Umbrella Academy members thought would be useful.That included obtaining legal documents, without the legal part. In the Commission, Five had sometimes watched the legal department, how they fabricated fake IDs, court orders or other documents with ease.

And even though he was nowhere near that level, he was good enough. It took him about a week to create an ID, a birth certificate and a high school diploma. All of it was a lot of work. He sometimes had to break into buildings to add himself to their records, but he didn’t care. It would be worth it in the long run.

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Attending college was relatively easy in comparison, bordering on boring. Five’s father had prepared them quite well for that level of learning and in the apocalypse, he had become an expert on math and quantum physics. So a lot of the lectures ended up just being a formality.

Instead of writing things down, Five occupied himself with looking up his family. Allison was in LA with her husband, daughter and Klaus. Luther had found a new place of employment, along with Diego, who had welcomed his first daughter with Lila. Five quickly wiped at his eyes as soon as he read the announcement in the online newspaper. As much as he wished to be an uncle, he couldn’t. Not just yet.

Five finished college in record time. He didn’t attend the ceremony, even though a part of him wanted to. Only the weak need praise to carry on, he remembered his father’s words. And he didn’t have time to be weak. He had a job to do.

————————————

Protecting his siblings required sacrifices and overcoming personal challenges. That was something Five had realised a long time ago. But when he sent his application to the CIA, that realisation hit him like a ton of bricks once more. he roughly knew what a job like that was like. It required absolute loyalty, going undercover, a physical and psychological examination. All of it reminded him of the Commission. He would have an employer again, be stuck in an office instead of enjoying retirement.

Upon receiving his acceptance letter and the request to move to Washington DC for his training, Five slowly walked into his bathroom to look in the mirror. His fake birth certificate stated that he was 18, but in truth his body had just turned 16. Upon looking at his reflection though, he didn’t see himself. He saw an old man, traumatised by years of isolation and lack of things like food or personal hygiene.

“It’s going to be okay“, he whispered to himself, though it didn’t sound very convincing, “As long as they’re alright…it will be worth it.“

————————————

Throughout his training, Five felt an odd sense of numbness. He expected to feel disgusted by how much it reminded him of his training at the Academy or Commission. But there was nothing of the sort. No sense of anger towards the profiler during his psych eval, which he passed with flying colours. He knew what answers he had to give in order to be left alone. Five remembered how much the Commission profiler had bothered him, how he had hated getting his deepest insides get revealed in astonishing detail, until he had learned how to adapt.

But he felt nothing. Neither the obstacle course, examinations by a doctor or profiler really bothered him. He just went through the daily routine, like a zombie with just one goal. There was no anxiety when his test results arrived nor joy when the other cadets celebrated upon passing them. In what felt like a blink of an eye, his training was over and he was assigned jobs. And that was when he met Derek.

————————————

When Director Ribbons had announced that he wouldn’t be working alone, Five had been hesitant at first. Even back in the Commission, he had always insisted on working alone. No partner to bother him or distract him from his plans. But while the Handler had accepted this violation of protocoll, the Director didn’t.

“You’re a new and promising agent“, Ribbons had told him, without offering Five a seat to sit down in, “And despite your maturity, a partner will do you good, I’m sure of it. On undercover missions, you may go on your own, but I don’t see a reason for it in the office.“

Five bit his lip and shifted slightly. He liked being able to wear a suit again instead of the uniform that showed his knees to everyone. In a suit, people were forced to take him more seriously in some way.

“Sir, while I understand what you mean“, he hated having to take on a polite tone like that, “I really do work better alone. I’ll produce good results.“

Five wasn’t a fan of the whole respect game. But in order to stay employed, he unfortunately had to treat his boss with some level of respect, despite being much older.

Ribbons looked him over for a moment. Sometimes, Five had the feeling that his boss saw more than just an agent, but he couldn’t quite place it. Despite his request, he shook his head.

“You’ll be working with a partner. Go to your desk, he’s already waiting for you.“

Five had no other choice but to obey that order. If he protested more, it could result in another psych eval or unnecessary questions. So he simply nodded and made his way towards his desk, pushing the intrusive thoughts on how to quickly kill his boss out of his head. Ever since he had started to work at the Commission a few years ago, these thoughts refused to go away.

————————————

As soon as he entered his room, a young man stood up from his chair. If Five had to guess, he was only a few years older than himself, dressed in a dark green blazer, with a tie and light blue shirt underneath it. More casual than Five’s three piece suit, but still professional. His blonde hairstyle reminded Five a bit of the 1950s, but the glasses and soft facial features broke that illusion. Only a few seconds after entering did Five notice that he had been staring. His mind was really all over the place.

“I’m Derek Young“, his visitor eventually said after no introduction from Five came, “I’m your new partner, pleasure to meet you.“

He held out his hand to shake, a soft smile illuminating his features. Only then did Five regain his senses and shook his hand, making eye contact for the first time. He still wasn’t completely comfortable with touch, the sensation sometimes proved too much.

“Five, Hargreeves“, he replied, keeping it short and with no explanation on why he shared his last name with one of the most well known people in the world. Derek didn’t seem bothered by that cold introduction though, still smiling.

“Our boss told me quite a lot about you, Mr.Hargreeves“, Derek remarked while sorting through one of the files on the desk.

Five froze for a few moments. Not because of the first part of the sentence, he had heard that one many times. But never in his whole life had he been called Mr.Hargreeves by anyone. His siblings had called him Five, his father Number Five, the Handler and everyone at the Commission either those or Mr.Five on the rare occasion. But never Mr.Hargreeves. It didn’t feel like him, even though he was surely old enough to be called that. Still…it didn’t feel right.

“Please don’t call me that, Mr.Derek“, he told him, trying to keep his voice firm, but only being half successful. Five scolded himself for how weak he sounded. Why did a simple name break his mind?

Derek frowned for a moment, then shrugged like it was nothing.

“Very well. Is Mr.Five alright with you?“, he asked, almost carefully that time, as if testing out the waters, “Since you call me Mr.Derek.“

He had expected to not like that way of adressing him either. The Handler had called him that after all. And every time he thought of her, his stomach flipped upside down in not a good way. But surprisingly, Five felt oddly fine with it. Derek’s voice and body language was nothing like his former employer, there was no need to be alarmed in any way. He didn’t have to look up at him like he had always had to do with her and everyone else, they were roughly the same height. Five pulled himself out of his thoughts and shrugged.

“Sure, why the hell not. Do you know where in the building I can find a decent cup of coffee?“

The rush of caffeine always helped Five with distracting himself. No falling asleep, no nightmares, just work.

————————————

At first, Five had assumed that Derek would annoy him. He was much younger after all, there were still things like hope and life left in his eyes. His partner went to work with the genuine intention of helping others. He got Five coffee every morning, while he himself stuck with tea. And even though Five could never understand how one could prefer hot leaf juice over some roasted black coffee, he had to admit that Derek brought him some good coffee.

“Which machine do you go to?“, he asked one morning after taking his first sip, “No matter which part of the building I go to, all coffee tastes like absolute crap.“

Five wasn’t one for making small talk, so Derek was a bit caught off guard by the genuine curiosity. A light blush began to settle down on his cheeks and he cleared his throat a bit.

“I…I bring the coffee blend with me. I can give you the adress of the shop I go to, if that’s what you want, Mr.Five. It’s no big deal, I just thought you might enjoy it more. I can’t stand the tea they give out here either“, he replied and hid part of his face with his teacup.

For the first time in what felt like years, Five’s lip tugged upwards. It took him a moment to realise that he was smiling in  a genuine way, like an idiot. But he couldn’t bring himself to stop, a comforting warmth building up in his chest. He could barely remember the last time someone had genuinely cared about him in such a small way. Derek didn’t even like coffee, yet he brought a good blend of it to work, just so Five would feel a bit happier. The warmth in his chest moved upwards, settling in his cheeks in a similar way to Derek. He was blushing like a hormonal teenager, which he both was and wasn’t.

“Oh, I…Thank you“, he eventually managed to mumble, “That’s very kind of you. I’ll just…Go talk to our boss, he wanted something.“

Five quickly made his way out of the room, taking a few deep breaths as he leaned against the nearest wall. Ribbons didn’t even want anything, but he had needed an excuse to gather his bearings.

“Shit…get yourself together“, he whispered to himself, the taste of coffee still present on his tongue. And like every time he felt upset or overwhelmed, the last words of his former wife, Dolores, echoed through his mind: I want you to enjoy your life, Five. We had good years together, but it’s time that you learn to live without me. You fought so hard for your family, it’s time that you enjoy the results.

Five reached up as a single tear traced down his cheek, quickly wiping it away. He was a grown man, why was he so overwhelmed by this? He decided to avoid Derek for the rest of the day, he needed time to think.

————————————

A few weeks later, Five learned that if he wanted to, Derek could be just as sarcastic as he was. Ever since he had started working there, Susan had been a figurative pain in everyone‘s ass. But because she was a senior agent with a long history, almost no one dared say anything about it. One day, while waiting for their turn on the copier, she began to rant about all kinds of problems plaguing her. Five had to seriously focus on not snapping her neck, so he kept his mouth shut.

“Anyway, my son just introduced me to his boyfriend. Boyfriend?! He’s a man, how can he be attracted to another man? That’s not how it works!“, Susan exclaimed and looked at them, expecting nods or general confirming words.

Derek crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked her up and down. Five knew that look. He had given it to several idiots before.

“So you’re saying one should rather fall in love with a body than with a soul? That’s really shallow and sad“, he said and gave her a fake look of pity before grabbing the files from the desk next to the copier. While Susan still scrambled for words, Five turned towards Derek with surprise.

“Did you…Did you just…?“, he asked, lost for words for once. In response, Derek simply shrugged, a confident smile on his face.

“Somebody had to tell her, she was annoying me. Why, do you have a problem with that, Mr.Five?“

That last sentence had a certain edge to it, as if Derek was either scared or prepared that Five would say yes. However, Five shook his head almost immediately. He had been more surprised than anything else.

“No, not at all. Maybe she’ll keep her damn mouth shut for a few hours“, Five quickly deflected, still processing what had just happened. After that short conversation, they just continued with their day as if nothing had happened.

————————————

Later that evening, while reviewing his family’s files, Five’s thoughts began to wander once more. During the apocalypse, he had never really thought about his sexuality. He had Dolores, but she barely counted as a woman. He had never really felt the desire to have sex, he had more desired to just see a familiar face. Any human face, if he was being honest with himself. And the tough survival conditions didn’t leave much room to think about what he was attracted to. When he closed his eyes, he realised that he could see himself with a woman by his side just as easily as with a man.

And even though he knew how sex worked, the thought of himself having sex with anyone whatsoever left him disgusted. He vaguely remembered telling Klaus in 2019: What a disturbing glance into this thing you call a brain, when he had mentioned the topic.

Before his thoughts could go off the rails even more, Five pulled himself back to the present. He had to make sure his siblings were safe, that was why he had taken the job in the first place.

————————————

After a rather frustrating case that had taken weeks and almost made him bang his head against a wall, Five was exhausted, so was Derek.

“Would you like to catch some drinks later?“, Derek asked him as they both gathered their coats. It sounded so casual, in a way that Five could never do himself. In the last few years, Five had attempted to lower his alcohol intake, but he hadn’t completely succeeded in stopping completely.

“Oh, sure, but…I’m not a big fan of bars“, Five responded, sounding almost ashamed. He had gone to bars before, but had never been completely comfortable there. It had almost always been for work. He half expected Derek to decline as a result, mentally cursing himself for being so uptight. But surprisingly, that didn’t happen.

“That’s fine. We can go to my place, if you’d like. I don’t mind it, Mr.Five“, he said with a wink. That name had almost become a form of teasing that they used with each other. Five smirked a bit and put on his coat, a way of protecting himself from the cold November air.

“Lead the way, Mr.Derek.“

People had different types of reactions when they got drunk. Some got more angry and violent, others sad and melancholic, others happy and joyful. Five got more honest after a few drinks, dropping his walls a bit more. And after a few homemade martinis, he found himself relaxing a bit more.

“You’re quite nice“, he mumbled and took another sip from his glass, “Nicer than my family by a long shot. Why? What do you have to gain?“

Derek frowned and sat down on the couch next to him. His drinks had far less alcohol, so he was just feeling a bit tipsy.

“I’m not nice to you because I have something to gain, Five. Why would you think something like that?“ His voice got a bit softer, as if he felt that there was more behind that drunk question.

Five laughed in response, but it held no humor whatsoever. He was overwhelmed by all kinds of different feelings and thoughts.

“Because I’m a rude old man? Because I’ve never done anything to warrant friendliness from someone like you? You’re young, you could just ask for a transfer with someone who is…more like you.“ Five couldn’t care less that he had just hinted at his true age. If Derek left, it would just confirm his world view.

Derek blinked slowly as he listened to Five ramble. He couldn’t completely make sense of what he was saying, but asking would feel quite rude. So after a few seconds of silence, he set his glass down.

“You may come off as rude, yeah, but…That’s not who you are. Remember how you almost ripped Stacy’s head off because she called me a twink? You didn’t even know what it meant at the time“, Derek chuckled a bit and managed to get Five to smile as well, “I don’t care how old you are or how grumpy you can get without coffee. You deserve to be treated well.“

Five stared at him for what felt like hours, but was probably just a few seconds. He wasn’t even sure what his expression his face was making, he could be crying for all he knew. The last time he had felt close to that safe had been with Dolores in an underground bunker they had found.

He didn’t remember what came after, the alcohol sending his memory to nirvana. The next thing that Five knew, he woke up on a dark green couch underneath a knitted blanket. His head was pounding as if he was Zeus giving birth to Athena and the thirst was overwhelming. At the same time, the thought of moving was enough to make him groan.

“Shit…“, Five mumbled and lazily covered his eyes to avoid the sunlight. With it being November, that meant it must be quite late.

“Here you go“, he suddenly heard Derek’s soft voice right next to him. Slowly, Five moved his arm off his face and blinked up at him. The room was a bit darker now, thanks to the curtains. Derek was standing behind the couch so Five didn’t have to move his head too much, wearing his blue shirt without the tie or blazer. His hair wasn’t styled as neatly, it just looked fluffy and soft. But before Five could think about his hair further, his attention was drawn to what Derek was holding. A glass of water and a pill bottle, most likely aspirin.

“You’re my salvation“, Five mumbled and took both. The act of sitting up alone made him groan, but the feeling of cold water sliding down his throat made up for it. “What happened last night? After that…conversation we had.“

Derek cleared his throat a bit and sat down next to him on the couch, his expression unreadable.

“You had two more drinks, talked about your age, your ex wife, your siblings…then you threw up in my potted plant and passed out on my couch“, he explained and brushed his hair a bit more into place, “That’s it, I think.“

Five groaned and leaned back into the pillow that Derek had provided him with. He felt like he had ruined everything. The first casual relationship he had ever managed to build up with a human being that wasn’t his family or someone he had been tasked with assassinating…and he had destroyed it with alcohol.

“Shit…I really ranted a lot, didn’t I?“, he whispered, but Derek could still hear it, “I…I should go, I understand. I overstayed my welcome.“

He attempted to push himself up, his muscles aching from the hangover and hard couch he had been laying on. Though something inside of his chest ached as well. Before Five could stand up, Derek stopped him. The feeling of a hand on his shoulder was enough to make him freeze.

“Mr.Five, that’s not what I meant. You obviously needed to talk about it“, Derek took a deep breath as he looked him over, “And even though I didn’t understand half of it…You don’t need to feel ashamed.“

His words washed over Five like a wave, most of his focus still spent on the simple touch. He wanted to both pull away, overwhelmed by this simple act of comfort, but also lean into it like a starving man in the desert. So he ended up doing neither, just standing there until Derek pulled away again. Five wanted to say so much, but no words made it up his throat and through his lips. After a long and pregnant pause, he simply nodded and made his way out of the appartment. Derek didn’t stop him that time.

————————————

They didn’t talk about that incident for quite some time. For a few months, they went about their daily routine, making small jokes in between, drinking coffee and tea together in the morning. Until eventually, Five mentioned it again.

“What I said about my age, Dolores and my family…did it bother you?“

They were in the middle of sorting through reports, arguably the most boring part of their job, where it sometimes became necessary to fill the silence. Derek only glanced up for a moment before he grabbed his stapler off the desk.

“Why should it? You always seemed…more mature than others. And I’ve known about your family for months. I go through your files just as much as you go through mine.“

Five blushed a bit at the last remark. It was true, he had searched through Derek’s files on a regular basis. Maybe out of paranoia that he was working for the Commission somehow, even though that wouldn’t make much sense. And to know that Derek was doing the same…it strangely grounded him a bit.

As they continued to work in silence, Five’s mind went back to that morning when Derek had touched his shoulder. It hadn’t been an accidental or manipulative touch, it had just been a simple expression of human emotions. He recalled one time when he had been four years old, still thinking that parents were the heroes children made them out to be. They had watched a movie in which a son had hugged his father and his toddler mind had decided to recreate it. But instead of hugging him back, Reginald had pushed him away and sent him to bed without dessert.

Never trust a hug, he had sternly told his adoptive son, For it’s just another way to hide your face.

Ever since then, he hadn’t attempted to hug another human being. But that had been over five decades ago, surely it couldn’t hurt to…

“Could I try something?“, Five broke the silence once more. He hated how uncertain and young he sounded, like a teenager or child, but he couldn’t stop himself.

Derek noticed his different tone too, but decided not to comment on it. During the entire time that they had worked with each other, he had noticed that some things took more out of Five than the average person. So he simply nodded and stood up as Five approached, his arms hanging loosely at his sides until he realised what the other man was planning. Once the realisation dawned on him, he couldn’t hold back a smirk and lift his arms slightly.

It took Five a few seconds to bring himself to lean into the hug. The second that he did, fireworks went off in his brain. Sparks of colour and noise, all blending together into one picture. It was overwhelming, but he needed more. It was beautiful and hurt his eyes at the same time.

For just a few moments, everything melted away and time stood still. This wouldn’t heal all of his wounds by any means. He was still damaged, maybe beyond complete repair. But it was a start at least, a bandage on his cuts so they wouldn’t get infected. Even though he knew it wouldn’t last, Five allowed himself to feel happy, just for a few seconds.

————————————

During one of his days off, while watching a movie that Allison had recommended to him, Five’s phone buzzed. Strange, his siblings never texted him. They always called, ever since the attemp at a group chat had gone south. So he unlocked his phone and glanced at the text.

Derek: Hey, 5.  The pipes in my appartment burst and it will take a few days until it’s fixed. Would you mind if I maybe crashed on your couch?

For a few seconds, Five contemplated his choices. He could just say no, spare himself the trouble. But on the other hand…he wouldn’t mind not being alone for a few days.

Five: Sure, just stop by. You know the address, right?

Instead of getting a written response, he simply received an emoji of a hand holding its thumb up. Five still hadn’t completely understood the appeal of those modern hieroglyphics. He really was an old man.

Derek arrived not even half an hour later, carrying a bag that held the bare essentials. A few changes of clothes, toiletries and a book or two for entertainment. Five was sitting on the couch, on which he had placed a spare blanket and pillow for him. One cup of coffe rested in his hands and on the small table in front of him…

“You made me tea?“, Derek asked as he set his bag down and went to join him on the couch. The TV was on, playing a movie that he recognised as Brokeback Mountain. Normally he had always been the one to prepare their drinks and he hadn’t minded it either.

Five nodded, fiddling with his own fingers as he watched him pick up the cup. He had been a bit nervous about getting it right. Tea wasn’t his department after all. But the way Derek exhaled after taking his first sip, he knew that he must have done something right.

“Thank you, I appreciate it“, Derek smiled and kept his hands around the warm mug as he inhaled the familiar scent of green tea. It was quite comforting, just like Five’s presence next to him.

As the movie progressed, they both ended up shifting a bit more towards the middle of the couch. Sometimes Derek moved, sometimes Five did, almost like a dance, until they eventually touched shoulders. Five found himself relaxing sooner than the previous timest hey had touched.

When Derek’s hand moved to cover his own, he didn’t stop him, looking forward at the screen. It was slightly overwhelming, but nothing he couldn’t handle. During the climax of the movie however, Five gulped heavily and slowly turned towards Derek, who did the same.

“I’m way too old for you“, he attempted to lighten the mood, but it came out much weaker and desperate. At this point he could see every little detail of Derek’s eyes, the way the colours mixed together, every little imperfection and vein.

Derek cleared his throat slightly, for once not as light hearted. He seemed not as clueless as Five, but hesitant nonetheless. The coffee and tea on the table had been forgotten long ago.

“Your age is the least of my concerns right now“, he whispered back and readjusted his glasses before he repeated the same words that Five had said to him a few months ago, “Could I try something?“

At that point, Five felt like he was drowning. He felt lost, a sensation he had become rather familiar with. He could end this all with one simple word or one shake of his head, for he knew that Derek would respect his consent. But at the same time, he didn’t want to let this opportunity go. So despite not having taken in a breath for almost a minute, he found himself nodding.

Their lips didn’t touch. It wasn’t a desperate kiss like in romance movies meant for teenagers. Instead, it was a soft kiss on his cheek that he felt…warm and without the pressure to do more, not that Five would want that. Like a ray of sunshine warming his skin in the morning, right before the worries of life fully registered in his mind. Derek smiled as Five practically melted into the touch, pulling away after a few seconds.

“Good?“, he asked carefully, just to make sure he hadn’t gone too far. Five smiled a bit and brushed his chaotic hair back behind his ears.

“Yeah, good“, Five simply replied and pulled his legs up against his chest. He wasn’t sure whether he would ever be ready for a proper kiss or saying the three words that seemed to fall from people’s lips so easily. But that maybe wasn’t necessary. They communicated that through other means. Like how Derek prepared Five’s coffee in the morning or how Five’s expression lit up when his desk partner entered the room.

————————————

On the first of October in 2025, they decided to move in with each other. Five teased that it was merely to reduce costs, since they spent most of the time in Derek’s appartment anyway. It had much more life than Five’s place, with small things that made it feel like home. And getting his coffee before work certainly had its advantages. Derek simply smiled at that explanation, not bothering to engage in a meaningless discussion. Instead, he grabbed his coat and handed Five his cup.

“Happy Birthday, Mr.Five“, he said with a wink before heading off to work, leaving a frozen Five behind.

————————————

A few days after his birthday, Five started his investigation into the Keepers support group. Going undercover meant that he had to put on a disguise, so he went for a mix of Top Gun enthusiast and school janitor. The mustache had been his idea, mainly because he missed the facial hair he used to have. It at least made him look a bit older.

Derek chuckled the first time he saw him in disguise. It wasn’t clear whether he was simply amused or making fun of Five.

“What?“

Five couldn’t help but sound a bit defensive. He hadn’t gone completely over the top, right? No, this was simply a cover, for security purposes.

Derek stepped forward, carefully tracing the mustache and making sure it was secure. Five sometimes got figuratively sick at how soft he looked with such simple gestures.

“Nothing. I think it works, Mr.Five“, he responded and looked him over from top to bottom, “You should get going now or you’ll be late.“

Of course, Five couldn’t have that. He still had work to do. By going on undercover missions, he could rise through the ranks and gain more information on how to keep his siblings safe. But despite all of that…At the end of the day, enjoying coffee or tea wouldn’t hurt.

————————————

I hoped you enjoyed this oneshot! I certainly enjoyed writing it, distracting myself from the mess we got in Season 4.

If you liked it, leave a like or a comment. It really makes my day and encourages me to keep going. Also, I would have an idea for a smaller additional chapter, set during Season 4. It would also have some angst. Would you be interested in that? If you are, let me know!

Until next time,

-Donna Lawliet

[burning-academia-if]

Hi again. If you've been around a while you're probably going to be like "Em, again??" But guess who got sick for the 6th time this year and this time it was a full on chest infection!! It has been three weeks, and somehow I am still Not Free!!

Anyway, BA fell to the wayside this month because it was Velox Fabula time and I've yet to miss a Velox jam (also...chest infection). I also needed to get my sudden and newfound Pirates of the Caribbean obsession out of the way so! I made a short pirate visual novel for the jam and I'm normal again. I also released the prologue of my side IF To Taste Sweet Silver (@sweetsilver-if) just to have it out. Feel free to check it out if you want, but it likely won't be updated for a while as I'm shifting gears back to BA for September!

I don't have much to report but:

UI update should be out in the next week or two depending on how I'm feeling. It won't look like much to y'all since it's more for my sake via cleaning up the code LOL but there were things added (friendship indicators, open dyslexic font option, character page updated, stat page updated, glossary page added) I'm not a graphic designer but it's better organized I think. There won't be an Official Post about it because it isn't new content, but I will make a small announcement when it's out. It'll also include the originally deleted Lars/Zoe/Nevio lunch scene in Chapter 2 as well. Sorry this is taking so long, I just really struggle with the coding side of things which has made the process slow.

Writing in August was also slow, and honestly, I think I really needed those few weeks off not thinking about BA. My inbox being very quiet helped as well, so I really did take a real break from BA. When I opened up the writing doc, I felt a whole lot better about working on BA again, and we have hit 100k words finally!

Anyway, I don't want to lament much, but I did have a personal goal of releasing up to Chapter 4 this year which obviously is Not Going to Happen. It honestly sucks I got sick so often this year because it cut into so much time for creative projects, be it BA or anything else.

I'm not really going to be hard on myself for it, though. I think releasing 3 chapters this year considering everything that kept Going Wrong this year is actually pretty good. I just think its annoying when I know I could have done it but the universe said no instead akfjalfa Anyway, I'm not sure when Chapter 3 will release but I do have a good feeling about September and I think I'll be able to at least get a decent chunk done this month!

Finally, September marks the one year anniversary for this blog and October marks the one year anniversary of BA releasing!! I feel like I literally just started writing this, the fact it's September already is wild.

I was going to do art commissions, but due to surprise car issues, I don't really have the money for that now (next year for sure though!!), so I was thinking of maybe doing character Q&As to celebrate? I've also seen some authors do raffles, but I'm not entirely sure what I would raffle off? Maybe personalized short stories with readers MCs if there's interest in that? I'm not sure yet, but I have a month to figure it out lol

But also thank you to everyone who has followed along!! It's been a really fun time both writing BA and on the blog. I know I say this a lot, but I'm really glad this is such a chill place. It's nice for me the author obviously, but it's also nice because I always want the spaces I have to feel like safe places for others as well so! Thanks again!

Lastly, I normally would end on a little snippet or preview but since most of what I wrote was just the two different openings, I feel like I have nothing fun to tease (or maybe I'm too picky about snippets idk). Hopefully Zoe's bday post tomorrow makes up for it, and I'll post some snippets later in the month instead!

Thanks for reading!

[modmamono]

Getting people into Puyo Puyo. A lesson in etiquette.

(Some tips on how to get people into Puyo Puyo and where to get them to start.)

Introduction.

First and foremost. My Tumblr post here is (perhaps counter-productively) for people who may want to get their friends and newbies into Puyo Puyo and not for said friends and newbies themselves. (Though you’ll no doubt get something out of this too.)

I just wanna instill some etiquette into people. Because way too often in Discord servers I see a group of people shout at a newbie to play their favorite Puyo Puyo game instead of trying to actually considering what the best Puyo game to get started with is for that newbie.

My goal is to try and help you get people into this series you like.

This is by no means a guaranteed method and should not be seen as such.

What’s Puyo Puyo’s appeal?

Generally speaking these are the one people cite when I ask them:

The characters.

The Artstyle.

Stories/Lore.

A puzzle game with personality. Similar to those of fighting games.

It's funny and charming.

Simple-to-learn, hard-to-master gameplay.

Keep these in mind.

Do you know the person?

This is very important.

- If it’s a friend that shows interest in the colorful cast and the wacky words they shout  as the jellies disappear on screen in a pleasing rhythm, then don’t be shy encouraging them to try a Puyo Puyo game out.

Not all friends have everything in common. But if you’re friends and know enough about each other, that alone should do a lot of heavy lifting.

- If it’s a stranger or someone online you barely know then its best to play it safe.

You can ask a few questions what they look for in a game and maybe consult the bottom of this blogpost what game to recommend to them.

- A tip for both: If they show no interest, then just accept it might not be their thing. It’s disheartening, not getting someone into the thing you love, but that’s just life sometimes. Doesn’t mean you have failed, it just means you’ve been pitching to the wrong people.

Dos & Don’ts.

- This is a series where you come for the story/gameplay and stay for the gameplay/story.

You can sell the game on both as well. But if the person is inclined toward one over the other then sell them on story, gameplay, or even the aestatics or the characters and chances are they’ll grow attached to all the other things. No need to rush things.

-  Reign in your passion a little.

I’m not saying to not be passionate. But it’s possible you can turn people off to Puyo Puyo because you never shut up about it and keep trying to sell it to them.

This goes for anything really. Sometimes people just get sick of hearing a thing, and instead of checking it out, they’ll disassociate and distance themselves from it.

- Don’t oversell how tough the gameplay is.

Unless the newbie like to be challenged don’t tell them Puyo is hard. That can be discouraging.

You won’t believe how many people I see trying to get someone into Puyo Puyo and do this. You want them to get them into this series, right?

Most Puyo Puyo games have difficulty settings in the options menu anyway. Tell them there’s no shame to adjust it to their liking and switch it to another setting when ready.

- Be supportive and encouraging.

If they struggle with the game. Be kind and offer them some advice. Teach them some basic stuff to get through if needed.

Beating WakuWaku is already a huge accomplishment, don’t make that victory invalidated by saying it doesn’t count because they didn’t do HaraHara if you know what I mean.

There’s no shame in lowering the difficulty. They’ll get better eventually.

- Don’t force them advanced tactics right away or funnel them into competitive.

Let. Them. Have. Fun. First.

Don’t breathe down a newbie’s neck for not using GTR or whatever else stacking method. Let them learn and experience the game however they want to. And if they wanna ask for help, then provide that. Try not to preemptively answer EVERYTHING if they didn’t even ask in the first place.

When they’re ready for GTR, competitive, and the like, then they are ready. But they gotta make that call on their own.

- When you play multi-player with your newbie friend(s) try not to do this:

You wanna invite them into the series, right? Why turn them off like that? You don’t wanna chance and encourage them to try again.  Losing to a player is way more demoralizing then losing to the game’s AI will ever be, they’re just two different things.

But if you do play with your less experienced friends the games have handicaps. If you’re good at the game put your board on Spicy, and let your friend choose whatever they want.

- Soooo, uh, about the lore...

Generally speaking, don’t entice a newbie in with that unless they’re a lore nut (and even then I have my reservations).

I know most Puyo fans love that Puyo Puyo has lore and that’s a big appeal to the series, but hear me out:

I think that’s a terrible way to entice a newbie. It’s fun lore for sure, and ideally, they get into it eventually. But have you ever thought about how much lore there actually is per game?

Puyo 1, Tsu, and Sun don’t have much of anything.

Puyo~n has Doppel and her intrigue and amazing vibe. But when you peel off the layer there is nothing but fanon.

Box and Minna have nothing much of note.

Fever 1 is a new world but otherwise is just another Puyo 1, Tsu, and Sun.

Fever 2 and 15th Anni are actually the exception to the rule. And I will go into why later.

And the rest while they do provide lore. It’s all contained within a single game for the most part.

Most of the interesting stuff are from Novels, Drama CDs, old dungeon crawling games. Which is cool and all. But, for now, you’re only just pitching the game(s) to the newbie. That’s quite a bit away.

I just don’t think it’s wise to hype up the lore when they’re barely ever gonna see any of it. I’ve been around too. A lot of the lore goes over a lot of people’s heads.

That and I think it’s just more rewarding to let newbies piece things together themselves. It releases a really nice feeling in the brain that SEGA’s run actually has a solid continuity.

I hope I’ve made my case? This is probably my most controversial stance here. But I think it’s for the best. Puyo Puyo is a series with lore, but it’s not a lore focused series. (I feel the same about Kirby.)

Entice newbies with surface level things first. Like the funny characters or the surface level stories. They’ll get to the deeper stuff eventually when they’re hooked. Trust me.

Unless you know they’re the type of person that likes lore for lore’s sake. But in that case do please let them know most games aren’t upfront about it and they have to put in the effort to dig. And digging for the obscure can be fun.

- Don’t push your favorite Puyo Puyo games onto a newbie without a good reason.

Sometimes your favorite game isn’t the best to start with. And while I believe you could give a newbie any game and if it clicks BOOM they’re a Puyo fan now. I do believe some games are better introductions to get someone into the games.

I’ll get into what I believe are the best options later on in this post.

- Don’t overload them on things to keep in mind.

Give them no more then 2 things to keep in mind. Things like “PPT1 will have a nasty difficulty spike, so be careful” and “I wonder what your thoughts are on a certain moment”.

If you give someone too many things to keep in mind they might get distracted from the game to remember everything you’ve told them.

And I believe that covers it all.

Which games should you recommend to newbies?

I’ll give you a bunch of options. But I’ll let you know which ones I think are the best for a newbie along with my reasoning.

Best:

Puyo Puyo Tetris 1 & 2

No contest. These are just the best ones to start off with. Either one of these will do.

You may disagree for whatever reason, but the fact it’s a crossover with Tetris is its biggest point in its favor. If they don’t like Puyo Puyo they will have Tetris as a safety net. By default that’s the best.

That and it’s been proven that it has been a surprisingly good entry. Over half of the current fanbase started of with PPT1. Like that guy who makes those Puyo Puyo in a Nutshell videos. You know, that guy.

Also you can buy PPT2 on all current consoles, most other games are only accessible through emulation if you want them in English. That’s important because some people are just against emulation or just plain don’t know how to emulate things.

And if they like either of these games maybe they’re willing to try emulation to play more Puyo Puyo.

Also who knows, if they use the Tetris as a safety net maybe they’ll bounce back and later enjoy Puyo Puyo after all.

Good options:

Puyo Puyo Tsu/Puyo Puyo 2 (Most versions)

Puyo Puyo Tsu introduced the standard ruleset most other rules are based off. And that’s the ONLY rule it has. Which I think works to its benefit for a newbie.

While the game lacks much in the way character interactions (maybe recommend them the Super Famicom translation patch which does have those) it does have a goal reaching the top of the tower and beating Satan.

I think the tower is an excellent motivator to get good at the game. If they can beat Satan at the top I’d say they’re ready for any Puyo Puyo game to come.

My preferred version is the Super Famicom version called “Super Puyo Puyo Tsu” but I don’t think you can’t really go wrong with any version besides the Neo Geo Pocket Color one.

For the emulator averse they can buy the game on SEGA 3D Classics Collection on 3DS or the SEGA AGES version on Nintendo Switch.

Super Puyo Puyo Tsu is also available on Nintendo Switch Online’s SNES app. So if you have the basic package, you already have that game at your disposal.

All versions except the NGPC one are in Japanese, but I don’t think that’s much of a hindrance with this game specifically. Any version without the cutscenes is sorta alingual. Sure there’s Japanese text in the game, but of all the games, I think you can enjoy this one the most without having to understand it.

Puyo Puyo!! 20th Anniversary (DS) (Precise Museum patch)

(Note, a Wii patch with a revised script is on its way.)

I think this game is a good introduction to the current day cast and has a ton of modes. So if basic rules don’t do it a newbie may find a mode that slowly eases them into more basic rules.

If you wanna 100% the game you gotta win 200 story mode matches. That’s a lot of Puyo, and that’s plenty of time to learn.

Do refrain from telling newbies that though. 200 is big number. Playing 200 without realizing it is more palatable then telling them you have to do 200 to beat the game. One’s fun, the other sounds like a chore.

Direct their focus on the cast, there’s a lot to chew on this game.

I would recommend, but...:

Puyo Puyo Fever 2 & Puyo Puyo! 15th Anniversary

These are the actual lore games. These games practically give you lore as a reward at every turn. These two games are the exceptions to my rule that you shouldn’t sell the games with lore to a newbie. And soaking all that lore in is a great motivator to play these games.

But we have no patches yet beside some out-of-date ones from Puyo Nexus. Which is the main problem (for Fever 2 especially).

Also, while these two games are a bit holy grail, their praises are rightfully sung. I’m a bit apprehensive calling them great entry points.

Fever 2 relies on the Fever rule. Which not everyone’s a fan of. I’ve been around and not everyone enjoys that rule (and anecdotally it overstimulates me). The Fever Rule has a ton of rules to it. But a lot of people were introduced to Fever 1 and became life-long fans so I don’t know, take my claim with a grain of salt. I’ve been told it’s an easier game then Fever 1 at least. Fever 1 does not play nice.

And 15th’s story mode relies on a roulette. Which doesn’t have to be a negative, but it is a game with a with a ton of gimmick rules. And while 20th is that too it gives you more freedom in that regard, which I think might be more beneficial to a newbie.

But any of the games above here are good places to start. One dishonorable mention to recommend to a newbie:

Puyo Puyo Champions

I’ve historically been nice to this game. But I don’t recommend it to a newbie.

It’s just Puyo 2 and Fever Rules at an admittingly cheap price. Not much to it.

You could argue that I gave Puyo Puyo Tsu slack in that regard. But my counter argument would always be: “What is the goal of Champions?”

This game is so competitive focused it hurts. No charming animations, the characters count instead of escalating their spells. Only good single-player content is hidden behind too many boring tutorials, which is watered down from the Nazo Puyo games.

Puyo Puyo Tsu you scale a tower and get an ending. Reaching the top and beating Satan is the goal.

Champions has nothing to offer besides online rankings. And as I’ve said before, don’t funnel a newbie into being competitive. They’ll do it when they’re ready. Let them enjoy the jelly game on their own pace first. Let them enjoy the characters.

And that’s all I wanted to say.

I hope it has been helpful. I’m not gonna enforce this, but I want people to be better about getting people into Puyo Puyo. So please take this all into consideration.

[spacesapphi]

Guys... Can I talk ab the Marnie lore for the main story I'm writing for my interp of Stardew...

Too bad, doin it anyways

Marnie Lore Doc is Here!!!

This mostly goes over her backstory as in what she was like when she was younger, all the basic story points of what happened with her leading up to the parts that I'm writing about in my fanfics (there will be no spoilers here)

CW for some talks of health and death

Everything is below the cut!

Marnie and her sister Mona were born in 1959 (Stardew in my writing takes place around 2010) and grew up in the ranch house in Pelican Town. The farm had been in the family for generations now, the Yoder family taking great pride in their roots as PA Dutch people. The girls’ father instilled the ideals of working hard and taking pride in said work from a young age, having them help out on the ranch when they were as young as 5. 

The girls were each other's best friends growing up, and they grew extremely close. They knew each other's deepest secrets and biggest dreams, and supported each other wholeheartedly. Mona was the first person to know that Marnie wanted to be a textile artist instead of a rancher. It wasn’t like she didn’t like the animals, she loved them! But life in the valley felt too stagnant for her, and she felt like she could only truly excel if she made something of herself out in the world. Mona supported her wholeheartedly, giving her praises and critiques on her works, and overall being her biggest fan. Her father wasn’t exactly so excited about this, however. He worried that going out into the city would change his daughter too much, make her forget her roots. Not to mention, the ranch needed to be cared for. It took a lot of convincing from Marnie, and Mona assuring him that she’d take over the business for him to finally come to accept that choice.

She worked for the ranch through highschool and into her early 20’s to save up to go to her dream college, a fabulous arts institute in Zuzu City. It was incredibly expensive, but she managed to save every spare cent to pay for her classes. She was so proud of herself, as were her father and Mona. Unfortunately, the year before she was set to go didn’t go as planned for anyone. Their father passed away unexpectedly, leaving Mona as the sole caretaker of the ranch. Marnie offered to stay home, to push off college and help Mona with the work, but she kept insisting she could handle it, telling Marnie to pursue her goals. Reluctantly, she agreed to go forward with college, thanking Mona for being so kind and understanding. 

The first year away at college was interesting to say the least! The valley was so small and tight knit, and it was jarring seeing so many people all crammed into one place like in the city. Marnie felt like a true fish out of water. People in the city commented on her clothes, how she ‘talked funny’, and how her mannerisms were ‘odd’. She started feeling like maybe she made a mistake, and almost went home during orientation week. However, she changed her mind after meeting her roommate, Pamela Finch.

 She was an… odd woman to say the least. Pam dressed in all kinds of bright, funky clothes, wore heavy makeup and had her blonde hair teased to high heaven, the poster child of the 80’s. She didn’t seem to take many things too seriously, just ‘going wherever the wind took her’. College was her dad’s idea, as he wanted her to do something big and important with her life. But Pam? Her dream was being a trucker, driving all across the country with nothing but the open road and the radio to keep her company. Though in many ways they were opposites, Marnie grew to enjoy her company. They were both considered ‘odd’ by people in the city, just in different ways. Pam was like another sister to her, a fun and rowdy one who got in all sorts of trouble. They were great for each other, though. Pam was able to mellow out a little and Marnie was brought out of her shell through their friendship.

On top of gaining a new friend, Marnie would soon gain another family member! She and Mona made it a point to call each other at least 3 times a week, updating each other on their lives. Marnie typically was the one with the most exciting news to share, as the valley often was not exciting, but Mona actually had something interesting to share. She was going to have a baby, and Marnie was over the moon at the thought of being an aunt. When she asked who Mona was seeing, and when she would meet the lucky man, Mona got standoffish. The man pretty much ghosted her when he found out, and Mona didn't want to talk about it. Marnie got the hint quick and wouldn’t bring it up again.

The next spring, right after the Spring semester let out, Marnie went home to meet the baby for the first time. This baby would be her little nephew Shane, and he was the cutest thing she ever saw… though she was a bit taken aback at his purple hair. The shock wore off quickly, Marnie claiming that such a unique trait was the mark of a future artist like herself! She absolutely adored and spoiled her nephew, and was so pained to leave him and Mona to go back to the city once the Fall rolled around. 

When she got back, she dormed with Pam once again, who proudly announced that she had gotten married over the Summer! The two barely knew each other for two months, but she swore they were in love. He was the man of her dreams, a wild and handsome trucker who promised to take her all over the country with him as soon as she was out of college. Her dad was not happy about this, almost disowning Pam over it, but he eventually came around to it and reluctantly accepted his daughter's choice. 

The next school year was exciting, consisting of many elaborate projects and even gallery showings for Marnie! Mona showed up to every single one she could, always telling her sister she was gonna go far with this. It gave her the motivation to keep pushing herself above and beyond, making more conceptual pieces, always inserting symbols of the culture she grew up in and loved so much. She promised her dad she wouldn’t forget her roots, and stuck by that promise. 

In her Junior year, Marnie found herself getting considered for a grand opportunity, an apprenticeship with one of the greatest artists guilds in the country. The job would almost guarantee herself a spot in the art scene. She was ecstatic, overjoyed! Pam insisted they go to a party that night to celebrate… and Marnie learned quickly that she did not enjoy the party scene, especially after she got stuck with a nasty hangover in the morning. 

She chose to work even harder on her art, improving steadily to prove that she deserved this apprenticeship, and her spot in the art world. Her dreams were coming true before her eyes, and she couldn’t possibly be more excited. Whenever she called Mona, she had the most enthusiastic voice, chattering away about all her plans and projects, everything that kept her so busy. But perhaps she was too busy, at least too busy to realize Mona was progressively beginning to sound more tired and unwell with each call. 

Mona convinced herself she was able to handle the ranch and a child, but it was becoming clear she couldn’t. The stress was taking a toll on her health, and she was already starting to go gray in her twenties. She was getting weaker as time passed, the strain of it all having disastrous effects. She refused to tell Marnie though, knowing she would drop everything to come back home, give up and turn back when she was so close to touching the stars. Marnie noticed when she came back home though, seeing how much older and tired her sister looked. She insisted she was going to stay home, Mona telling her no, and a fight broke out between the two over it. Marnie eventually agreed to go back to school and finish her degree, though she felt uneasy about it. 

Senior year was nerve wracking. All the work she had put into this degree was under intense scrutinization, the apprenticeship on the line. All those sleepless nights and days spent squirreled away in the textiles studio were finally paying off. Marnie was noticeably off her game this year though, her thoughts too preoccupied with Mona's health. She was also afraid she was going to fumble this, make a fool of herself in front of everyone and lose the opportunity. But to her surprise, and relief, she was chosen in the end. Upon graduating she would start the apprenticeship, and join the greats in the art world! This should’ve been the happiest time in her life, and it could’ve been if not for the devastating call she got just after graduation.

She and Pam were clearing out their dorm, talking about the future and all the exciting things they had planned. They had graduated just a few days ago, and the excitement was still buzzing in them (though Marnie couldn't help but feel disappointed that Mona couldn't come).

Pam was talking about starting a family with her husband, so excited about the life she saw ahead for the two of them. And Marnie would be on her way to New York, living the high life in the big city and throwing her life into her work. Pam promised to visit her if her work ever brought her to the state.

Marnie chattered on about her plans once she got to the city, getting interrupted by the phone ringing. It was a call from back home. The town doctor was on the line, informing her Mona was hospitalized, and the outlook wasn’t good. Life ground to a halt immediately. Marnie packed the rest of her things as fast as she could, rushing out the door without saying goodbye to her roommate, speeding home as fast as she could.

She didn’t leave Mona’s side once in her last moments, the two talking about life, regrets, and what the future would be like. Marnie scolded her for not opening up about how bad it actually was, and for insisting she go back to school when the stress was legitimately killing her. Mona told her she just wanted her to follow her dream, but if her dream came at the cost of her sister, her best friend, Marnie didn’t want it. Mona asked her to take care of Shane, and Marnie promised she would. By the next morning, Mona was gone.

Marnie of course had to turn down the apprenticeship, moving right back into her childhood home instead of that flashy apartment in the city she had looked forward to. Getting back into the rhythm of ranch life, and adjusting to life with a toddler was difficult, to say the least. The guilt of knowing this is just how Mona felt for so long weighed on her heart, and she promised herself she would do her best to make up for that. As time went on, life began to get easier, though it was never the same. Having no support system, no close friends or any family here was so hard. But she had her nephew, and knowing that he needed her kept her going. 

About two years later, a very familiar woman moved into town, trailer hitched to the back of a pickup truck. When Marnie realized it was Pam of all people, she was overjoyed. Finally, she had a close friend, a familiar face back in the valley with her! She had a baby of her own too, a little girl named Penny that she just adored. Pam explained how her husband had walked out on them recently, and she decided to settle back here for a simpler pace. She was going to take over the bus driving job as well, a position that had very recently opened up! The two talked about the past few years, exchanging stories of the highs and lows of it all. Neither of them expected to be here in Pelican Town, living such similar lifestyles after having such lofty goals and dreams. Pam seemed to find the humor in it though, and expressed that she hoped Penny and Shane would grow up to be good friends. (They would not </3 )

The next few years were a whirlwind. The ranch was a lot of work of course, but there was so much more too! She’d been invited to an aerobics group with all the other ladies in town, won the valley fair quite a few times, had a short, fleeting romance with the man running the saloon, her nephew came out to her as trans (Marnie was actually the one to pick out the name Shane!), the old farmer next door had struck a wonderful business deal with her, and she surprisingly found herself happy in this spot in life. 

This life wasn’t the one she had planned, that was for sure. There were still many things that she regretted, so many things she wished she could’ve done and achieved. She still grieved too, grieving the loss of her opportunity and her sister. But despite it all, and through all the future troubles and misfortunes that would befall her family, she couldn’t help but keep a glimmer of hope that everything would be okay in the end. And with time, it would be.

[scoobydoodean]

Hey there, I have SPN Thought Worms i thought you might appreciate: You know how there’s debate wether (in the biblical story) Abraham “failed” God’s test, if it was a blind loyalty test or to see if he’d put his moral and love over unquestioned orders? In the same vein, do you think Dean truly ‘failed’ Death’s test with the ring and carrying out his duties for the day? Like maybe Death actually wanted Dean to be unable to do it bc it proved he had limits or smth? Or did he just get Sam’s soul back despite the apparent failure because he has a massive soft spot for Dean? (relatable tbh). Hope I made myself clear lol, the concept is jumbled-up in my mind, and have a great day!

This is a really interesting question! I also have a feeling I'll have a lot better of an answer when I get to 6.11 on this rewatch and have the entire season fresh on my mind. That said, Death actually says in the end that the goal was for Dean to learn something.

DEATH Today, you got a hard look behind the curtain. Wrecking the natural order's not quite such fun when you have to mop up the mess, is it? This is hard for you, Dean. You throw away your life because you've come to assume that it'll bounce right back into your lap. But the human soul is not a rubber ball. It's vulnerable, impermanent, but stronger than you know. And more valuable than you can imagine. So... I think you've learned something today. (x)

I'd really like to watch through season 6 again to solidify this one for myself, but I have a feeling that this isn't about teaching Dean a personal moral lesson at all. I don't think Death is at all concerned with the fact that the nurse died because the little girl didn't from a moral perspective—he wouldn't have ever given Dean his ring if he was. That isn't why he said "good" when Dean said he would have acted differently if he could go back. We can guess it also isn't just a simple lesson about "bringing each other back" being bad and "letting go", because that'd be pretty hypocritical given Death is going to help Dean anyway with no one forcing his hand (and he tells us Dean has use). It isn't a moral issue Death's addressing. It's a lesson he's giving on the structure of the universe. It's about balance. As Death says cryptically later in the scene:

I think what Death wanted to get across to Dean is that souls must pass on, and their energy must be allotted to the appropriate areas in time and space. If one person doesn't die, passing their soul on as energy, another person must die so that a certain balance and energy level is maintained in the universe. Death plans to help Dean from the beginning, because "Right now, you're digging at something. The intrepid Detective. I want you to keep digging, Dean."

Death, as a person who can't ultimately involve himself without also disrupting balance, is ultimately hinting at Dean as best he knows how that he wants him to stop Crowley and Cas from sucking a bunch of souls out of Purgatory, creating absolute chaos. But he can't say that, so instead, he gives Dean a lesson. He tells Dean that human souls are extremely valuable, and that they need to go to the places the universe wants them to go and stay there. If they don't—if they are moved on a large scale—something terrible will happen. Death has to expect Dean to extrapolate all of this information, which is not an easy expectation to fulfill.

So I guess to summarize: I don't think Dean failed Death's test, because actually using the ring and experiencing what happened when Dean tried to change things was more of a lesson than a test. The test was how Dean reflected on the lesson after and evaluated his behavior. He passed when he said he'd behave differently if he could go back. Death wanted Dean to understand the idea of balance in the universe depending on where souls go, and how important it is not to disrupt their flow or move them around. Changing things makes bad things happen. When there's just one soul, the impact is small (something Death is willing to let Dean toy with by offering his ring for the day). But what if someone disrupted the flow of many many souls at once?

[the-director]

My Tav Calder! He is a half drow bard.

Bonus info specifically: (contain spoilers for the endings and epilogues.)

Gale: when I started playing Calder (he is my second playthrough) I had the intention of romancing Gale. So I pursued him hard. And then... oh and then karlach came onto me. And I fell. Hard. Had to break up with gale. I think that. In the story of this playthrough, this breakup is the reason why I wasn't able to convince him to give up the crown.

Lae'zel: despite being a bard, Calder does enjoy a good fight as I picked college of swords for him. But that is not the reason why they are friends, they are friends because they relate to their pasts. Calder does have a noble background, but he was also sold into slavery (long story short he is in a bit of a zuko situation. But instead of finding the avatar, he got sold and is told to "work to earn his place among his family") so. They both understand the weight of high expectations. But also I like their dynamic due to what lae'zel says to you in the epilogue if she goes with Orpheus. That you taught her diplomacy, and I think that's very fitting for her and Calder (or rlly with her and a bard/high charisma/pacifist tav)

Shadowheart: honestly I feel like shadowheart is so... older sister? The way that she tries to be above everyone, the way she is so sparky to you, but also becomes loyal and trusting of you. Idk it reminds me of older sisters in like early 2000s movies. As a result, when I'm not romancing her. I tend to view her and my tav as feeling a kinship to eachother. I think this is also because of both of them being half elves.

Wyll: I actually have a lot of thoughts about Calder and wyll, specifically because of Calder growing up in this rich upperclass family, they probably met eachother while they were younger, or at least both of them are aware of their families (I'm still deciding how old I want Calder to be, and how long he was a slave) so there's like. Both of them know eachothers childhoods, but then both have to wonder "what happened to you for you to wind up here" I imagine they have a heart to heart with wyll talking about the pact and getting sent away by his father, and Calder talking about his wild magic that got him rejected by his family and then further being betrayed by them.

Another component of this relationship is the "karlach protection squad" I feel like it's basically canon that wyll and karlach, whether or not they romance eachother, will be very close and have a friendship together. And so especially with karlachs infernal engine, they both feel this need to protect her, to find a way to save her life. Which is just. So neat yknow? This strong durable character who is yet so vulnerable due to this replacement for a heart she has, something imposed against her. That she tried to make work for her, and it did, for a bit. Until when she finally thinks she can get her life back. She instead finds she's a dead girl walking.

Anyways. Both wyll and Calder are devoted to her in this way. And so even though they're kind of in that space of "so similar to eachother that we hate eachother since we can see every fault and flaw that we hate about ourselves in the other" they put aside their similarities and work towards this goal.

Astarion: Calder is, ngl, highly morally dubious. He is. Incredibly two-faced, or more precisely 6 faced. He's very much a people pleaser, a liar one may call him. He breaks every law for his own gain. Which astarion can get behind. Calder reads astarion like a book moreso than anyone else, which is why Calder trusts him. Astarion may be seen as "untrustworthy" but Calder trusts because he knows what he does, he can rely on that. I'm thinking this is especially in the early game. Where Calder might not have been too sure about the other ones and their true intentions.

I think, perhaps this trust is also due to their shared background. Of course I made calders backstory specifically so that it could parallel everyone else's and deal with the similar themes of "lack of autonomy" and "authority" and so on. But I think other than wyll, calders background is the most like astarions. And so since he is familiar to this. Desperation and fear for safety that astarion feels all the time. That is why he *knows*

Halsin: Remember how there was that glitch where gales approval was super easy to get, and as a result he would hit on every single tav regardless of how much you talked to him and as a result he came off as a huge creep and people hated him? That's how I feel about halsin.

Jaheira: similar to shadowheart, but in this one I JUST. LOOK AT JAHEIRA AND I HEAR MY MIND GO. "PLEASE ADOPT ME" if she adopted me everything would be right with the world (it wouldn't but) my mommy issues. Just. (I have three moms, which one would think would mean I have no mommy issues. No I just have three different types of mommy issues)

Anyways. Seriously. I think that at first Calder would kind of have the karlach fangirl moment, he wouldn't externalize it. But it would definitely happen. Overtime though they develop the bond of cub and crow. And I think. The definitive good ending for Calder is one where he joins the harpers. (I'm just now realizing that then he would be Chris pines character in dnd and karlach would be that one barbarian lady)

Karlach: she snuck into my heart, and I think she snuck her way into calders too. I think at first, it starts with passion, it starts with warmth and comfort in eeachothers arms. Then it evolves into late-night talks around the campfire. Of him singing her favorite songs, telling her favorite tales. Maybe they do it together. Him on his lute and just her singing. Or them acting scenes together. I imagine them fighting together, him inspiring her, healing her maybe, her defending him and beating anything that hurts him into a pulp. I imagine them entering the city together. He took the tadpole, she is so worried for him. She tries not to let it show. His ego is bruised. He's hurting inside. They open up though, they find solace in eachothers arms again. That one scene happens, they talk about the future they'll never get. The cabin, with the goat. Oh how he wished he could perform for her forever.

I finished the game before patch 5, before going to hell meant finding a cure. And even then, I think Calder wouldn't force her to go. I think Calder always gets wyll out of the contract and wyll decides to be Duke. And so she dies. On the docks.

And Calder is ruined.

But he develops a plan. Undo timeline.