#anyway the pasta i had today was from a restaurant

[coatabyss]

i need that chicken pot pie again.

[lacroixqueen]

i'm so chill but you make me jealous jealous deadpool x fem!reader, 18+

Summary: deadpool sees you on a date with another guy and loses his shit lol

Pairing: jealous deadpool x fem!reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings/Tags: jealousy, possessive, angst, brat, noncon, dubcon

You were trying to figure out the fastest way to get out of this dumpster fire of a date. This is what you get for putting yourself out there, by the fervent advice of both your mother and entire social circle. So you went ahead and downloaded a dating app out of sheer boredom but also a tiny glimmer of hope. After quite a number of left swipes and a small handful of rights, you somehow wound up across the dinner table with… er, you forgot his name already. 

But you knew he worked in finance. Or was it accounting? Anyways, he was currently explaining the intricacies of the stock market to you, and the appetizer hasn’t even come out yet. And you realized that you couldn’t care any less. 

“I.. have to go to the bathroom,” you said, standing up quickly and pushing in your chair. Your date almost didn’t seem to notice, giving you a half-hearted acknowledgement and then continuing to drabble on to himself about cryptocurrency. 

Without another word, you darted to the nearest exit of the restaurant, finding yourself on the freshly rained-on sidewalk. You always loved the smell of the concrete after it had just rained. 

Your heels made a satisfying click-clack sound as you briskly maneuvered your way down the street. You opened up your texts to see if you missed anything during the god-awful date, and lo and behold, was a message from none other than Wade.

“Love the dress,” it read. 

You glanced behind you, then side to side, and once you turned back around, there he was, leaning against the side of the cornerstore. 

“What are you doing here?” you asked, barely turning towards him before directing your attention back to your phone and continuing to walk past him. 

“Ohhhh, so it’s ice cold today,” he commented, following right behind you. “I love that flavor.”

“What do you want,” you said while texting a friend about how disastrously the date went. “I am just going home.”

“Well, I was just walking by when I caught a glimpse of you through the window of that Italian restaurant back there,” the assassin replied. “Speaking of which, what was on the menu? I mean that place looked upscale! Like they probably sprinkle gold dust on their pasta instead of parmesan.”

It was an Olive Garden.

“To be blunt, I honestly forgot,” you responded. “I didn’t even eat anything.”

“Well, why did you leave so early?” he pried, this obviously piquing his attention now.

“I-I felt sick,” you lied, your intonation increasing as quickly as your apprehension. “Can we just change the subject, please?”

“Oh ho ho,” Deadpool chuckled, as if he struck gold. “That bad? I mean, I didn’t get a great look at the guy, but from what I saw, he wasn’t terrible-looking. Also, he wore a fleece vest. I mean, that’s just the height of fashion, you really can’t get any better than that.”

“Are you having fun?” you said, rolling your eyes as he continued to mock your absolutely colossal defeat of an evening. 

“Oh, absolutely,” Deadpool laughed. “The other point of contention is why the hell you decided to pull out this absolute banger of a dress for your first date with Mr. Finance Bro there and not ours?”

“That was not a date,” you enunciated, pressing your finger into Wade’s chest. “That was a drunken one night stand that will never happen again and that you even promised to never bring up. It was stupid and nonsensical and I can’t believe it even happened in the first place.”

“Oh come on, Y/N, you’re going to break my heart,” he whined, clasping his hands together like a needy puppy. “I, for one, thought that night was very special. I mean, you even told me that you could see yourself fall-”

Before he could say another word, you grabbed him by the hand and led him into a dark alleyway so that innocent bystanders wouldn’t hear you scream.

“Stop! Bringing that up!” you exclaimed. 

Deadpool was shocked his casual mention of the event elicited such a strong emotion from you. “Okay, okay, jeez.. calm down.”

You sighed, letting him go and turning your back to him. 

But he didn’t let you. Not even for a second. Before you could even react, he grabbed you by the neck and slammed you into the wall. 

You gasped, your hands instinctively reaching up to clasp over his while his grip only tightened over your carotid. 

“Besides, you know that I only followed you here because I wanted to see more of you in this ridiculously skimpy dress..” his voice darkened as he continued to choke you like a helpless animal. “I mean, look at you. That thing practically clings onto you like skin! If you weren’t such a tightass I would have ripped it off of you by now..”

He unsheathed his pocket knife and ran it across your lacy scarlet choker, over the thin straps of your slip dress, and onto your chest. He traced the outline of your cleavage with the dull edge, and then slowly slid it down over your taut stomach. 

You were trying to gulp up air for just one breath, but his hold was unrelenting. 

“I mean a red mini dress, are you fucking kidding me?” he snarled, his blade gently brushing against the garter belt on your right thigh. “Wearing my favorite color? With some other guy? This has got to be orchestrated at this point, Y/N.”

“Wade.. please..” you begged, lips beginning to quiver. Regardless of how much he joked around with you, he scared you when he was angry. 

He finally released you, allowing you to cough and gasp for your first breath. 

“But you know of course I wouldn’t kill you, I mean who do you think I am, a psychopath?” his tone immediately brightened up the moment he saw how much you feared him. “I just like watching you not being able to breathe is all. It’s so cute.”

 After you finally caught your breath, you stared daggers down at the vigilante who stood before you. 

“Listen, Wade,” you said. “I understand you are not exactly pleased with the current state of affairs. But this isn’t entirely up to me. And I’ve told you this a million different times.’

The assassin let out a dramatic, almost cinematic sigh. “Yes, I know, Your mother wants you to date ‘someone sensible with a stable career and not a psycho killer’. Which is perfectly understandable! I get it. I mean, I would probably think the same thing if I lived in the suburbs and made tuna casserole in my spare time.”

“Wade..” you shook your head and rolled your eyes. “You know it’s not that simple.” You walked up to him and gently lifted up his mask to reveal only his lips. 

He didn’t hesitate to grab you by the waist and pull you so close that your body was pressed up against his. 

You stood up on your tiptoes in your heels, stabilizing yourself by holding onto his broad shoulders. You weren’t exactly sure what you were doing, but you knew something within you just wanted to kiss him. But you also didn’t know if this was the right idea. 

The plump part of your lip gently brushed against his. The smell of your watermelon lip gloss was driving him crazy. He started to breathe heavily, and if another second passed where you weren’t kissing him he would say fuck it and just do it himself. 

You felt his hot breath in your mouth, and you felt your arms twist around him like they knew exactly where to rest themselves. Like they have done this before. 

“I’m so stupid for this,” you sighed, as you felt his lips beginning to close over yours. 

He smiled smugly into the kiss, quite pleased with himself over the hard fought victory. Without another moment of hesitation, he grabbed the back of your thighs and lifted you up without much effort at all. He walked over to the wall, pressing your back softly against it. 

You wrapped your legs around his waist automatically, kissing him like you would die if you stopped. You felt his tongue wrap desperately around yours. He was aggressive, hungry even. He wanted you all to himself, not some fucker in a fleece vest or anyone else for that matter. 

You knew you would regret your decision in the morning. And that no matter how hard you tried to deny it, you would come running back to him. Every single time. 

[skzdust]

You're Better

Part 3

Request from @velvetmoonlght! I wrote this one super fast but I just loved the idea and wanted to write something softer!!

Summary: You and Felix have slowly been getting more comfortable recently, and he finally asks you out.

Pairing: Academic rival!Felix x afab (she/her) reader

Includes: rose bouquets, pasta, restaurant date, soft kisses, "girlfriend" used for reader

Word count: 1.3k

Taglist (Comment on a post/send an ask if you'd like to be added): @weirdowithaphone, @caught-in-the-afterglow, @palindrome969, @skzstan12345

Reblogs, likes, comments all appreciated!! Thank you for reading!!

Part 1 | Part 2

Masterlist

-----

Your phone buzzed, and you discreetly checked it under the table.

Felix.

I actually can’t today. This is so boring.

You glanced across the classroom to him. He was leaning back in his chair, one arm draped over the back, the other tapping his pencil on his notebook. His blond hair was half-up, and strands were falling into his face in a way that made you want to push it back. Maybe he’d close his eyes, relax under your fingertips, his lips settling into a small, contented smile—

Snap out of it! You mentally shook yourself. Felix seemed to be conflicted on what exactly he wanted from you—whether that be simply sex or something more. If the other night with Chan had been any indication, he was more into you than he wanted to admit—than he wanted to face.

The text wasn’t completely out of the blue. He’d been texting you more, talking to you more.

But you hadn’t had sex since that night with Chan. You’d been talking dirty a bit, but it was mostly more mundane things. What are you up to? Wanna work on homework together? Class is so boring.

You liked it.

Right. I feel like we’ve learned this a hundred times. You responded, a smile tugging at your mouth.

Wanna ditch and make out?

I wish.

C’mon, let’s do it.

Seriously?

Seriously.

You looked up at him again. He kept eye contact with you as he stood up, walking out of the classroom and shutting the door behind him.

You swallowed and followed him.

Felix was waiting for you in the hallway.

“And where are we going to make out?” You asked.

“I… haven’t thought that far.”

“Well.” You thought for a moment. “I have no ideas.”

“Neither do I.”

You looked at each other for a moment before you both started giggling.

You hadn’t dated anyone in a little while. But in that moment, Felix felt like your boyfriend.

—

You looked up from your textbook as a knock sounded at your apartment door.

You knew it probably wasn’t Felix, but you hoped that it was anyway as you stood up and went to get it.

It was Felix, and he was standing there with his gorgeous face and his gorgeous hair and his gorgeous everything, and he was holding a single rose.

“Felix?” You leaned against the doorway. “What’s… what’s up?”

He held the flower out towards you. “This is for you.”

You accepted it. “What’s this for?”

“For you.” He said, as if that explained everything.

You blinked. “That explains nothing.”

Felix sighed, rolling his eyes. “I wanted to ask you on a date, okay, and I didn’t know how to start, so Chan recommended a rose.”

Your heart leapt. “You’re asking me out?”

Felix didn’t answer, glancing around, as if nervous. You opened the door wider. “Wanna come in?”

“Yeah, I’d love to.”

You closed it behind him. “Is someone after you?”

“Nah, just… will you? Go on a date with me?”

His eyes were more hopeful, more vulnerable, than you’d ever seen them.

“I didn’t think you were going to ask.” You smiled. “But, yes, absolutely, I will go on a date with you.”

Felix visibly relaxed. “Okay. Good. I was thinking…” He cleared his throat. “I was thinking maybe dinner? Pasta, or something?”

“I love pasta.”

“I know, you mentioned it the other night.”

“Wow, you’ve been thinking about this.”

He looked away, shrugging, smiling. “I dunno.”

“You have! You have been thinking about this.” You pounced.

“Well, technically, I’ve asked you out before.”

“Well, technically, you never followed up.”

“Well, technically, I’m following up now!”

“Okay, I’ll give you that.” You nodded.

“So… Saturday night?”

“Saturday.” You agreed.

He smiled at you, and you smiled at him, and it felt like something was beginning.

“Can I kiss you?” Felix asked softly.

“Yeah.” You leaned in towards him, and he gently kissed you, lingering on your lips a moment longer than he really needed to.

“This doesn’t change the fact that I’m smarter than you, you know.” He whispered against your mouth.

“Lies.” You whispered back. “Complete and utter lies.”

And just as quickly as he’d gotten there, Felix was pulling back, and winking, and walking out the door, leaving you with the last word and one rose.

—

When Felix showed up at your door on Saturday night, he was holding a whole bouquet of roses.

“Um—here.” He thrust them at you.

“Thanks, Felix!” You took them and smelled one of the blooms. “Where’d you find these?”

“Florist not too far from here. I thought they were pretty, and you’re pretty, and I… yeah.”

“Thank you.” You couldn’t stop the grin that bubbled up on your face. “I didn’t get you anything.”

Felix shook his head. “How could you?”

“I know, I’m so sorry.” You walked inside to find a vase for the roses. An idea occurred to you as you trimmed the stems. You snipped one of the blooms down to a short stem, dug in the junk drawer for a safety pin, and pinned the rose to Felix’s shirt. He watched with a small smile.

“Thank you.”

“‘Course.” You smoothed down the fabric and looked up at him.

You were so close.

You’d been physically closer. He’d been inside you, for God’s sake. But this felt more intimate than anything had before.

You quickly stepped away, flustered. “Okay, well… wanna go?”

“Sure.” Felix led the way out of your apartment.

You walked out to the street, and Felix opened his passenger door for you. You got into the car, and Felix shut the door.

It was only a short drive to the restaurant, and Felix opened your door again, and then held the restaurant door.

“You’re big on doors.” You observed.

Felix laughed. “I know, I’m very chivalrous.”

“Oh, yes, chivalrous Felix.” You rolled your eyes, but you were smiling.

Felix had apparently made reservations, and you sat down.

It was an Italian place, and you ordered your favorite pasta. Felix ordered, too, and you sat there looking at each other for a moment.

“So.” Felix said.

“So.” You said.

Felix blinked at you. “How… was your day?”

You shrugged. “Worked on school stuff. We really need to get back to our project, though, it’s due in like a week.”

“I know.” Felix groaned.

You smirked. “I thought you were smarter than me, don’t you want to work on it?”

He sighed. “I don’t want to work on it. I just know I can do a good job when I do it.”

“Academic weapon.” You said seriously.

“Academic weapon.” He agreed.

You ended up talking about your project a little bit, figuring out how you were going to get the rest of it done. The conversation then turned to other things, and you talked a little bit about your hobbies. You learned Felix loved baking, which initially surprised you, but when you thought about it a little more, it made sense. He was surprisingly sweet when he wasn’t trying to one-up you. He promised you a brownie next time he made them.

Your food came, Felix insisted on paying the bill, and you left the restaurant.

You sat in the car for a moment when you got back to your apartment.

“So…” You started as Felix parked the car.

“So what?”

“What exactly… are we?”

Felix paused. “I didn’t want to admit it, but I do like you. A lot. You’re kind, and funny, and you’re smart. I’m… I want to keep dating. What I really want to do is be your boyfriend.” He looked at you, vulnerable again.

You did what you’d been thinking about doing and pushed his hair back. He closed his eyes, leaning into your touch. “I want to date you, too. I want to be your girlfriend.”

“Well, that works out nicely.” Felix smiled, opening his eyes.

“It does, doesn’t it?”

He leaned in and gently kissed you. You kissed him back, and in that moment, the world felt perfect.

[tiredmetalenthusiast]

A Date With Joyous News! John Price x F!reader

This is for @glitterypirateduck John Price writing challenge! Wanted to try doing a longer fic. Scenarios used were 7. ‘Date Night’ and 8. A confession or secret is made, revealed, or discovered’

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, mention of pregnancy, implied NSFW.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day had started off as a soft morning, slowly waking up to John’s arms wrapped firmly around you and softly snoring. When you both had finally woken up and gotten out of bed he brought up the plans he had for the day.

”How about a night out today, Love?” You giggled and leaned into his shoulder. “John, we're married, you don’t have to try and win me over anymore.” He kissed the top of your head and breathed in your scent, “Well I’m going to anyway. I’m taking you on a date tonight, be ready by 7pm sweetheart.” “Where are we going tonight?” “It’s a surprise.” You nodded and kissed his cheek before the two of you went off to do your daily tasks, excited for the date later on.

6:45pm:

John stood at the mirror trimming his beard to look presentable, from the corner of his eye he spots you in the bathroom. Dressed to the nines and looking just as ravishing as when you both got married. Red dress fitting you in all the right places, makeup dark and seductive, the dark red lipstick doing things to him. “Are you ready to go luv?” You peeked from behind the door and nodded, walking out of the bathroom to grab your heels and purse. He holds out his arm and you take it giggling, as he leads you to the front door of the flat and to the car, letting your arm go to open the door for you. After you had gotten in he went to his own side and the drive to the date began.

Your eyes lit up as you saw the restaurant John had pulled up to. “Really? You got a reservation?!” “I did luv. You’ve mentioned wanting to go here for some time. Let’s go.” He gets out and walks around to your side, opening the door and helping you out. The Maître D’ greets you both upon entrance.

The young man seems nervous, glancing at John before speaking, “How can I help you both today?” “Reservation for 2, Under John Price.” The young man, Sam, checks the list before motioning for the two of you to follow. “This way please. Your table is ready.” Following Sam towards the back of the restaurant, he stops at a table and allows you and John to seat yourselves before handing over two menus. John watches you as you gaze around the restaurant in amazement. 

“The decor is so beautiful! How far ahead did you have to book?” “A few months, but seeing you happy is worth it.” The waitress came, took both of your orders, and went on her way. Dinner came and went, conversation was had, but John had noticed your lack of wine, deciding not to comment.

After dinner the drive home was spent discussing the food and how amazing the service was. “The lemon chicken pasta with alfredo was so good! The sauce was so smooth and had a nice flavor to it! How was your steak? It looked juicy.” “The steak was delicious sweetheart. The meat was tender and well cooked.” John smiled as he watched you beam brightly and gush over the food again, particularly dessert.

Once home you took off your heels with a pleased sigh, groaning low in relief. As you went about your routine to get ready for bed you noticed John standing by the door, shoulder leaning against it as he watched you slip out of your dress. “How about a movie before bed?” “That sounds lovely John.” He leaves to pick out a movie and you head to take off your makeup and change into pjs. Once dressed and noticing that John was changed as well, wearing those sinful gray sweatpants you loved so much and no shirt. You sat with him under the blanket and cuddled into his side, he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and you turned his head to give him a kiss, tasting the whiskey he had for dinner. “I love you so much John.” He kisses you back, hand wrapping around the back of your head to hold you there, “I love you too, so much luv.” You smile wider and watch the movie.

Halfway through he brings up the wine, it's your favorite thing to have when you guys go on dinner dates. “Didn’t feel up to the wine tonight?” You stop mid laugh and turn to face him. “Thought I wouldn’t notice? What’s wrong?” “John?” “Yes luv?” “Do you remember when you came back last month? And we had that wonderful, earth shattering sex?” “I do. Dream about it when I’m away. Did something happen? I didn’t hurt you did I?” “No! No nothing like that. Uhm…I just…” “Darling if I did something wrong please let know. I could never live with myself if-…” “John, I'm pregnant!”

He was absolutely stunned into silence. “Pardon?” “I-I mean I’m only a month along but-!” “I’m gonna be a dad? You’re really pregnant?” You nodded nervously, tears starting to well up in the corners of your eyes. “Who else knows?” “I tried calling you but Gaz had answered the phone, saying you were on the line with Kate. Told Gaz all about it.” Price thought for a moment. “Ah guess that would explain his sudden excitement that day.” He hugged you close and kissed you passionately. “So I’m gonna be an actual dad then?” “Baby you’re already an actual dad.” You snickered. “The boys don’t count.” 

You both laughed, falling back onto the cushions to celebrate the wonderful news with a night of steamy passion.

[jugheadthelesbian]

hi hi hi!!! saw how you wrote for penelope and i RAN to your asks...im a liiiiiitle obsessed with her..

ANYWAY, can you please do a little blurb about penelope and reader on a date night and penelope getting the wrong order, but the people pleaser in her doesn't want to say anything, so reader does for her? sorry if this isnt specific enough (or if its too specific...im a yapper if u cant tell)

p.s. this came to mind when i was af a restaurant with my mom today and she had to basically order for me and also tell the waitress they gave me the wrong dish..😣

EEEE yes i can!! thank u lovely!

summary: tooth-rotting fluff of you being whipped for people pleaser Penelope

word count: 611

warnings: this is so sweet and fluffy that u might get a toothache!! ~

Penelope Garcia looks so beautiful, across from you in a pretty pink dress and her hair up in an elaborate bun, smiling at you, her lips a lovely shade of red. The two of you are out for dinner at a fancy Italian resturant for a little after work Friday night date. You smile back at her over your glass of wine. “You’re so beautiful, I love that dress on you, baby.” You tell her, holding her hand on the table between the two of you. She blushes, shaking her head and smiling down to her lap. 

“Thank you for saying that.” She looks up at you, gushing. You are taken away by her beauty, the way her eyes crinkle at the corners when she smiles. She bites her lip, ready to say something else when the waiter approaches with your food. You give him a polite smile, watching with excitement as he puts down your plates of deliousness. Penelope’s eyes widen in excitement at her chicken alfredo tortellini, then her face falls. You dig into your food immeadiately, but notice your girlfriend’s sudden silence. You look up from your plate and meet her eyes.

You furrow your eyebrows at her troubled expression. “What’s up, buttercup?” You tease, in an attempt to lighten the mood. She shakes her head at you, training her eyes down to her plate with a pout. “Is it something with your food?” You ask softly, looking at her plate. Immeadiatly, you know what’s upset her. She asked for no tomatos in her pasta, but there are tons of little cherry tomatos mixed in with her food. “Here, do you want to ask him to take it back?” You suggest, eager to have her smiling and happy again.

She shakes her head, forcing a smile. “No, no! It’s okay, I can just… pick them out. It’s fine,” She lifts her fork, trying to hide her disappointment at the mishap, but she’s still bummed about it. “I just don’t want to bother him.” She mummers, chewing on the inside of her cheek as she continues to pick them out, glancing over to where your waiter is taking the order of another table a few feet away. 

You take a few bites of your own food, watching her attempt at taking the dozens of tomatoes out. Scowling, you look to see where your waiter has gone and find him walking back towards your direction. You stand up. “I’ll be right back, give me one second.” You tell Penelope, kissing the crown of her head as you pass her. You catch up to your waiter, getting his attention. “Hey! My girlfriend asked for no tomatoes in her pasta, can you see if maybe we can get another dish of the chicken alfredo tortellini without tomatoes in it?” You ask politely and he agrees, telling you that he will be right back with that. 

Satisfied, you go back to your table to a still dejected Penelope, who has given up on her mission to remove the tomatoes. “He should be back with your food soon.” You tell her, squeezing her arm gently as you sit back in your chair. She opens her mouth to protest and you hold your hand up. “Too late, I already asked him.” 

“Thank you so much!!” She says and her smile tells you that she’s back to your sunshine girlfriend. Her glowy happiness is worth the anxiety of asking for the correct meal and you’re very glad when she can’t stop smiling while eating once the waiter comes back. You make sure to tip good, again a small price in comparison to your girl’s infectious laughter.

~

thank u for the request friend!! if u like my writing, check out my pinned post and leave a request or check out my ao3 ☺️✨

[sseniita]

ANOTHER PART T^T

sorry for the late update!!! exams were ROUGH!! anyways wish u all a very happy holiday!!! (im so happy i got this out by christmas)

hero vs domesticity 4

part 3

When the hero was still working she’d never been allowed to watch movies, read books, or even listen to much music. She was carefully kept away and secret. So when the villain had begun to show her his favourite war documentaries and action movies she was a bit unentertained, if not traumatized. The villain came home one day with an odd array of movies and they had pulled an all-nighter to watch every one. Her favourite ones were romance movies the villain snoozed through. Movies with period costumes, old-timey talk, and handsome men in puffy-sleeved shirts. She couldn’t hide her blush at every scene with a brush of hands or subtle banter. He always explained how unrealistic it is to be in love that quick. Hero couldn’t be more glad he was wrong. 

The villain began to sit closer during movie nights and came home earlier to help her cook, but what really got her were the hands on her lower back as she stirred a pot of soup, or how he fidgeted with her fingers at the breakfast table. Sometimes- if hero was lucky- he’d get close and whisper an inside joke about a stranger in public, he’d grab her arm to lead her around new places, and on two occasions he would give her more kisses on her cheek. 

The first was the day after the incident he was walking out of the door in a rush and gave her a peck on the cheek without thinking. The second time they were serparting to their bedrooms as villain leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Let’s just say the hero was tossing and turning, red as a cherry, in her bed that night. Hero had not once mentioned it, and neither had the villain- but that didn’t stop the little something from growing between them. 

Today the villain found hero looking for ingredients for dinner when he swooped in just in time. “I was thinking we could go out tonight.” 

“...Out?” hero asked timidly, putting back the pasta into the pantry.

“It’s Christmas Eve, don’t get me wrong, I love your cooking, but let me treat you for once.” 

“Oh. That’s so sweet. But um. I don’t have anything nice to wear out…”

“You look beautiful as you are, hero.” The hero turned beet red. “But if getting you a nice dress means I can spoil you more, I say we go shopping.” 

At the first shop, villain had to point out dresses to her, Hero would shyly say yes or no until the villain got a sense of what her taste was. He decided she’d probably go for a more modest dress in softer colors, perhaps a puffy sleeve. They went into a different shop and the hero lit up, villain smirked as he knew he hit the jackpot. The shop was filled with nice ladies that suggested dresses of pinks and light blues, the dresses were mid length and hero’s eye was caught on a dress with a sweetheart neckline, long sleeves and in the exact shade of midnight blue as the villain’s uniform. Villain pretended not to notice. 

Dinner was delicious, if a bit messy. The night consisted of touching elbows and fingers, playing footsie under the table and reminiscing on old memories. But if you asked the villain all he’d remember was Hero’s eyes peering up at him like stars. 

“I hope you know I regret that night very much.” the villain said as he hooked his arm around the hero, leaving the restaurant. The hero laughed. 

“The night we met?” 

“Ah, but not in that way. Since I didn’t know you, I acted as if you were just another obstacle. In a way, I’m glad you were.” 

“An obstacle?” 

“Yes, but perhaps that was your way of trying to get my attention.” He flirted, gaining another laugh from hero. 

They walked in silence, only hearing the crunch of snow under them as they made their way back home. The weather was perfect, and the hot chocolate they stopped by was still warm in their hearts, but hero found she preferred other ways of warming her heart. She hung on tighter to the villain as they crossed into city hall and looked at all the lights and the great big tree in the middle. Hero had seen the tree many times before, but this was the first time she noticed how beautiful it truly looked, hero was hypnotised by the beauty of it but villain couldn’t take his eyes off her. With a smile, he turned her so they were facing each other. 

“Can I say something?” The hero could only nod. “I didn’t get you a present this year. But I promise, if you stay, I’ll get you double the amount next Christmas.” Hero’s heart skipped a beat. 

“You want me to stay?” 

“Of course I want you to stay, I thought I made that really clear.” The villain looked genuinely confused. 

“Clear?” the hero whispered out, making him chuckle and pull her in just a bit closer. 

“Hero, oh love, have I been neglecting you?” He held her the same way he did at the Christmas market, except this time hero couldn’t stay up due to her paying attention to nothing but the villain. Her eyes stared up at him as her mitten covered hands rested on his chest, her cheeks were rosy and her nose was beginning to colour too. Villain wrapped his arm around her, keeping her close as he pulled a strand of her hair back. He looked around real quick, the plaza almost empty of people and more so of mistletoe. He smirked back at the hero who followed his eyes. “No mistletoe this time.” Hero shrugged as her smile grew. The villain leaned down and planted a kiss on hero’s soft and cherry flavoured lips. Hero, although inexperienced and timid, let villain take the lead and hold her even closer. Her mind was floating and in complete bliss that she so easily forgot herself that she slipped on the ice covered ground. The villain caught her in time before the dress touched the ground. After laughing the villain, for good measure, picked her up and carried her all the way home, like a blushing bride after her wedding. Hero showered the villain with kisses the entire way home until he finally dropped her in front of their home’s front door. 

“By the way- I lied.” 

“Lied?” hero asked, still hand in hand with the villain. 

“I’m a villain. It’s what I do.”

“Well what’d you lie about?” Hero asked timidly, heart so very anxious. 

“About the present.” He smiled as he opened the door, and the hero's present quickly introduced himself was the cutest, little, bouncing puppy. The golden thing quickly wagged his tail at hero’s legs, excited to meet his owner. “Merry Christmas” the villain said. 

“Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! I can’t believe it! You got me a puppy! He’s so cute! What’s his name?” She asked as the villain led her into the house and began taking off her coat.

“The shelter called him Bo, but I’m sure you can change it.” 

The hero held up the puppy and took a second to analyze him, strangely enough, the puppy seemed to be regarding her in the same way. “No, Bo is perfect.” She hugged the puppy as she scooted closer to the villain. “Thank you! So much! I’ve always wanted a puppy!” The villain planted another kiss on her 

“Of course, but you have to promise to walk him, feed him, clean after him. A very very normal person thing to do.” The hero giggled, returning to kiss him again and again until the puppy barked for attention. 

After settling down the hero and villain plopped on the couch to watch some cheesy Christmas movie they weren’t paying attention to between the kissing and new puppy. As the movie came to end so did the night, Hero decided curling up on the villain's chest was far more comfier than her bed and they both quickly fell asleep with their puppy right next to them and the fireplace crackling.

The next morning the hero woke up to the first of many totally normal breakfasts, and had a totally normal day, with their totally normal puppy as a totally normal girlfriend. In a while, the hero would try even more new hobbies, such as getting a totally normal job with totally normal friends, and in due time she became a totally normal wife and soon after a totally normal mother, all throughout an amazing, love filled and happy life, and each year, her totally normal Christmases became treasures that got better and better each year as the love between the hero and villain became totally normal and yet so, so much better.

part 1 part 2

[neoyongz]

no body, no crime 🩸 | alex turner

you aren’t letting up until you dig into the reason alex cheated on your friend.

warnings: this is fully based in no body, no crime by taylor swift & haim, the fic is centered around alex but there’s plenty of louise mentions since a part of the plot revolves around her, no smut, no fluff, criminal theme & plot, death

words count: 2.4k

disclaimer: english is not my first language so, in advantage, i apologize for grammar mistakes 🤭

“Louise! here!” you said as you saw your friend enter by the restaurant’s door. Louise was your best friend, you two met some years ago at work but even after you both left the company, you kept in contact with her.

“There you are! How are you?” Louise hugged you as her pearly-white smile showed up between her lips.

“Pretty good, no complaints. How ‘bout you? Have a seat, please” After the hug, she took her seat in front of you right before the waiter came to serve the drinks. “I already ordered, don’t worry” It was always the same menu for the both of you: pasta and a glass of wine for each.

“Oh, many things happened” You both thanked the waiter and he left. “Remember what I told you about Alex? That he started coming home very late and acting very weird?” You nodded and took a sip of your wine. “Well, today I checked our joint account and he sent some very expensive jewelry. Woman jewelry” She sighed. “Not mine”

You gasped and opened your eyes like big plates. “Wait a minute. It could be… his mom’s? maybe?” Louise took a sip of her wine and took her phone out of her pocket.

“Nah, her mom hasn’t left any jewelry for him as far as I know. I guess I should start, you know… coming to terms with this situation. Since the merlot incident, he left a bottle in his car which neither of us bought and he also had the taste of it, I've been watching him very closely, and he’s definitely hiding shit” Louise never cursed but she was really angry at her husband. For her, it felt like throwing 3 years of marriage to the garbage.

“That ain’t my merlot on his mouth, that ain’t my jewelry on our joint account…”

“I’m so sorry about that… Are you planning on divorcing? I could help you with that, my sister’s a lawyer” You took her hand and looked at her with a sad expression. You knew Alex very well, enough to know that he wasn’t like that. He would never cheat on anyone, say less about someone like Verneuil. He loved her with her whole heart, how did this happen?

“Yes, but I know this is nothing more than suspicions and there’s no proof that he actually… cheated” That last word hitted Louise on her chest like a bullet to her heart. “I know about your sister though, no need to worry, I’ll call her if I need to” Her phone vibrated. The screen showed a message from Alex; are u coming home babe?

Louise didn’t even think about replying, she was sick of thinking about Alex. The man that had enough balls to cheat on her and call her “babe” every fucking night. She had so much remorse, but nothing could be proven yet.

“For now, I just think he did it but there’s no way to prove it” Louise turned off her phone and looked at you, searching for any excuse to change the way of the talk as she felt her eyes tearing up.

“I think he did it but I just can’t prove it…”

[ . . . ]

You opened the front door and took your bag and car keys. It was a sunny Thursday at 9 am, you were just about to go to work at your dad’s house to clean it and take care of him. You were unemployed but weren’t looking for a job anyway, you made your way to survive with your savings and the thing you were most looking for was a time to relax alone and maybe go on a vacation.

You entered your car and right after switching it on, you started driving. It was common routine to pass Louise’s and Alex’s house as both houses were very close, only 2 blocks away. You saw Alex carrying a big black bag with some tools, not his regular work tools and getting in his car too, an old fashioned red Ford Capri which was actually very dirty after the couple went on a trip to the desert less than a week ago.

Well, the bottom of the car was quite dirty but the tires weren’t: were they new? You drove slowly when you passed by his side to wave at him, and so he did. Actually, you were looking at his car’s brand new tires. It wasn’t too weird at all because it isn’t like no one gets new tires, but his old ones didn’t seem damaged at all… or maybe you were in your head a little too much trying to help getting proofs for Louise.

Once you passed their house’s block, you kept on driving while listening to the radio. Well, you couldn’t say you weren't mad at Alex for what Louise supposed he did, he claimed to be extremely loyal to her and the whole relationship was very good for both of them, they seemed really happy with each other. So, what was the reason behind him cheating? The whole situation was very blurry, and if you were already feeling that much remorse for Alex, you couldn’t imagine how heartbroken Louise would be feeling as you were thinking about them.

Thinking about the situation helped the time to go faster than usual and before you could even realize, you were already parking at your dad’s house. Driving there was a muscle memory thing for you to do. Once you left your car, you went inside the house and found your dad watching his old TV, as usual.

“Darling” He said with a smile and got up to greet you.

“Hi, have you been feeling well?” You left your bag on the sofa and approached him. “Did you take your meds?” He was sick and not able to go to work, so taking care of him was important for you right now.

“Yes, don’t worry. Want some coffee?” You said no before looking at the TV, it’s sound became a little loud as the news channel announced something important, or it seemed like so.

“Nah, I had breakfast. Thanks. Let me clean this for you” You took your dad’s cup, he had breakfast not a while ago. You carried the cup and the little plate he used for his biscuits to the kitchen while keeping your ears fixed on the TV.

“We are live from your local News Channel sadly reporting that a 34 years old blonde and short haired, slim and tall girl in Sheffield named Louise Verneuil went missing Wednesday’s morning. We have her husband on the line giving the first clues, can you hear us?”

“He reports his missing wife and I noticed when I passed his house his truck has got some brand new tires…”

The plate and the cup fell off your hands as soon as you heard Louise’s name. You were frightened. Your face was pale, your whole body started shaking and you walked to the TV.

“What?…” You whispered. Your dad looked at you, concerned.

“Is everything okay?” He got close to you and hugged you as soon as he noticed your eyes getting wet and filled with tears.

“Dad… it’s Louise” You whispered and bursted out crying while hiding in your dad’s chest, hearing Alex’s voice on the TV.

“I don’t know what happened, she left for work yesterday’s morning but hasn’t come back since and her phone is off. Her phone is always on, she is not getting the calls either… I’m scared, we’ve been married for years and I don’t know what could’ve happened to her”

You clenched your teeth as you heard his sayings, there was something off in his tone. His voice didn’t connect to his “scared” feeling. There was something wrong and you knew it.

[ . . . ]

You’ve been watching Alex very closely. You recently noticed a new woman coming to his house and your blood has been boiling since. It was true. He was cheating on Louise, but still no news about her. It’s been about a week since her going missing and your heart has been aching more than ever, you knew Louise wouldn’t do something like that, and that someone made her do it or even worse. Someone could have hurted her or something like that. But no news about that, only a few signs you saw Louise’s mom putting up on the street.

On the other side of the street, a few blocks away, Alex was setting himself to go to bed, calm as he has never been before. After having dinner with his former mistress, the woman he cheated on Louise with.

“Al, I just know you’re hiding something. Tell me right now” The woman followed him around the house.

“I have nothing to hide” He said, opening the closet. “Just stop asking, I don’t fucking know anything about Louise. Stop bringing her up”

“You act like you haven't been married to her for 3 years! You don’t even look sad” She screamed, even if she knew she was in the wrong position to be reclaiming Alex’s sadness towards Louise, it was impossible to not feel frightened by the fact that he didn’t shed a single tear in a week after her wife went missing.

“Let me cope with it alone. I don’t like showing off my emotions” His stupid excuse ended up convincing the woman. “Leave me alone” She sighed and left the room, going towards Louise’s former bed just to watch her own things all over the bed. Her heart ached at the thought of sleeping in that woman’s bed, and felt extremely guilty.

“And his mistress moved in, sleeps in Este’s bed and everything…”

[ . . . ]

You put on your latex gloves as you start to clean up the table, making sure to get rid of every little thing that would look off-putting. You were very meticulous with this cleaning, it was a very special case. You mopped the floor and once you finished, you considered it was enough, so you took the big and heavy bag that had been waiting for you at the backdoor for around an hour and opened the wood door.

You rushed through the backyard and threw the bag on your car’s backseat. You pulled the zipper all the way up and got on the driver’s seat, before slamming the pedal and heading to the river you visited last night. You were very calm even if your actions felt rushed: you just wanted the situation to end and just get over it.

You took the highway and drove for around 45 minutes. It was late at night and the stars were sparkling white, shining all around the dark blue sky above your head. The jazz music on the radio helped you relax even more, breathing slowly and even smiling while getting out of the highway to take a dirt road, heading to the entrance of the river. Once you arrived, you knew no one was there, so you took the bag out of the backseat and threw it to the boat you set up last night, and went even further on the river. It was loud as the water slammed your boat and the rocks around. After a few minutes getting deep into the river, you decided it was about time. You opened the zipper and looked at what you had in there for a few seconds. You doubted a little bit, but there was no coming back after this. After coming to terms with your own mind, you took the bag and threw it to the water. You watched the bag disappear before your eyes, feeling a bit of remorse. But never regretted it.

“Good thing, my daddy made me get a boating license when I was fifteen…”

[ . . . ]

The cameras followed Louise’s sister when she got out of the court, the reporters shoving their microphones on her face. “What happened inside? Any news about Alex? What did the mistress say? And Louise’s friend? What about her?”

“Guys, guys, stop” Louise’s sister stopped them and took a minute to breathe through the air gap the reporters left above her. “What we know so far is that the mistress was there the night Turner went missing. And Turner was the last one to ever put his sight on Louise” She sighed. “Louise’s friend has nothing to do with this case. She was with me the whole day Alex went missing”

“Good thing Este’s sister is gonna swear she was with me”

“Are you sure she was with you?” A reporter slammed her microphone into her face.

“She was with me, dude” She looked annoyed. “The mistress is just gonna get her payment for the life insurance. Really don’t know about her future in this case but all we can ask is justice for Louise”

“And good thing, the mistress took out a big life insurance policy…”

“Who is the main suspect?” The reporter didn’t seem satisfied with her answer.

“They think the mistress did it but there’s no actual proof. They both went missing but the only one found was Louise’s body, which had Alex’s DNA all over it. Pretty dumb of him if you ask me” She took a cigarette calmly, as if no one was around her. “It is clear that Turner killed Louise. But they don’t know how or why he went missing… maybe to not be held accountable” She lit the cigarette and took a puff. “Anyway, no one has found Turner, so the case will keep going for quite some time until they come up with a resolution. That’s all the news for today” She spoke now relaxed, and the reporters greeted her and left.

“They think she did it but they just can’t prove it…”

Once Louise’s sister was alone, she took her phone and called you. You were watching the whole case getting covered by the news, so even if you weren’t there, you were very updated with the info about it.

“Were you watching?” She said, and smiled as she heard your voice down the line, affirming. “It’s clear what that bitch is going for. She’s trying to get you involved in the Alex thing with a very weak argument in my opinion. But she’s not getting away with it” She took a puff from her cigarette.

“I know, I know. Don’t worry, we know what’s gonna happen next. Thanks” You said and took a sip out of your coffee. “I’ll call you later, gotta go”

“Okay, no worries. Goodbye” She said and after ending the call, she put her phone in her pocket.

“She thinks I did it but she just can’t prove it…”

“As they said… no body, no crime” You whispered as you saw Alex’s picture coming up on the TV screen. “You knew that I wasn’t letting up until the day you died”

[ . . . ]

haiii !! thank u so much for reading :p remember that this fic is purely based on the song and I added a few details to make it a little more realistic. I don’t think I will be doing any other fic similar to this one even if I absolutely enjoyed writing it hehe anyways, thank u for stopping by !! love ya xx

[bloodyknucklesforme]

Ribs | Gaz X Nina AU

This is a little sampling of the restaurant AU I've been drabbling in my docs for months now. Gaz and Nina are basically childhood friends and the same age so 26ish. Their dad's were in the military with Price, who now runs the restaurant they both work at. It's pretty much just smut and banter. Enjoy 💞

"Didn't think you were ever going to buzz me in," Kyle said walking into Nina's flat. He had a large brown paper bag in one hand and bottle of wine in the other.

"You brought me food." She shrugged, already grabbing plates and glasses. Her flat was small railway studio. The kitchen on the far wall, a small dining area followed by a couch the blocked off the living area which then backed into a foldable room divider that her bed sat behind. The singular bathroom was on the other wall. Kyle wasn't a huge fan of it, always felt cramped, except for the large windows on the one side that always let in light either from the sun or surrounding city.

"Is that all you want me for? Food?" He asked, purposefully pressing himself against her back as he placed the bag on the counter.

"You're good for other things, I guess."

"Like covering your shifts?"

"Definitely that." She elbowed him gently to move him out of the way as she unpacked the bag. "How was tonight?"

"Fine. It's a Tuesday," He shrugged as he opened up the wine bottle.

"Was Price pissed off?"

"Like he could be mad at you." He poured for both of them. "He might be upset I stole this bottle though."

"No one was going to drink this anyways." They clinked glasses and drank, eyeing each other over the edge of the glasses. They both finished, Nina first, winning at their unspoken competition. She handed him his plate. "You pick the movie?"

"I always pick the movie," He said.

"That's because you say my choices are garbage." She climbed over the back of the couch. Kyle walked around and sat down next to her, shoving the wine bottle between the cushions.

"That's because you only want to watch old James Bond films."

"They're good!"

"Not the ones you like." He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his side. He took the remote in one hand and started flipping through all the options.

"How about this one?" He asked.

"Heard it was shite." She used her fork to pick up a bite of pasta from his plate and feed it to him.

"You're impossible," He shook his head.

"I have Die Another Day on blu-ray."

"No."

They eventually settled on a middling comedy that was ignored within twenty minutes.

Half a bottle of wine and Nina was straddling his lap, their empty plates sitting on the coffee table. His hands raking up and down her back as she grinded against him. She tasted like wine and black pepper. He broke the kiss to pull her shirt over her head. It was actually his shirt at one point. One for a band he'd stopped listening to years ago.

He cupped one of her breasts and rolled her nipple between his fingers before taking it in his mouth. He always liked how her body jumped when his tongue first made contact. Her nails found their way to the back of his neck.

"Kyllllllleeee," She moaned. He stopped and rested his chin on her sternum, just above her breasts. She let out a disapointed sigh. "You're an ass."

"You gonna tell me why you didn't come to work today?" He asked, giving his best puppy dog eyes.

"Just an off day," she shrugged.

Kyle rubbed her back. Twenty years of friendship and she still refused to admit she couldn't lie to him. She could lie through her teeth to Price or Kate but never him. He watched her lie her whole childhood.

"You avoiding Ghost?" He asked. It did annoy him how she refused to talk about the older man. They danced around each other in person and in conversation. They went from being at each other's throats, screaming about dishes being remade and speed of orders, to a timid softness. Nods and patience unnatural behaviors from either of them.

"I'm not avoiding Simon." She scoffed.

"Simon? You on a first name basis now?" He held her as she tried to get up, now concerned. "Hey, did something happen? Nina, if he did anything we can tell Price. I don't want you-"

"We slept together. Okay? That's all," She snapped, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Is that it?" Kyle arched an eyebrow, he was relieved to say the least. "You could have told me that."

"I felt bad."

"Why would you feel bad? We're not dating, Nina," he chuckled. "You can sleep with whoever you want."

"I know but it's kind of slutty to sleep with a co-worker."

"We're co-workers."

"Yeah but we slept together before that," she laughed.

"Don't tell Price but last week I hooked up with the Irish guy that works at Kors."

"The ginger?" She exclaimed, laying her hands on his chest and leaning in close. "He's hot."

"He is. Name is Declan but they all call him Conor."

"And you were giving me shit for being on a first name basis with Ghost." They laughed and he traced her spine up and down.

"Can I kiss you again?" He asked.

Nina leaned down and brought him back into a kiss.

"Hold on," He grunted, wrapping an arm around her waist and lifting them both up from the couch. She giggled into his neck.

"I want to be on top."

"You won't get tired?"

"I'm a big girl, Kyle."

He dropped her on the bed and started to strip. There was a comfort of familiarity. They didn't need to be self conscious or awkward. Nina was his best friend. He knew her inside and out, literally. He still liked to watch her shrug off her sweats and panties. He liked to run his hand over the curve of her ass before smacking back down playfully.

He dug through her nightstand for a condom.

"Let me," she said, taking it from him. He finished stripping as she opened it. She sat on the edge of the bed as he stood in front of her. His thumb resting on her bottom lip as she rolled the condom on. He moaned softly as she stroked him. He pushed his thumb into her mouth and she sucked on it, bobbing her head softly. One of her hands rested on his hip, fingers drumming, while the other continued to stroke him. She rubbed her thighs together.

"Greedy thing, getting wet just from this," he murmured, resting his other hand on the back of her head, letting his fingers tangle in her hair. He always came back to her because it was easy and simple. A comfort food, a comfort fuck. They didn't always fuck when he came over, it was just a bonus.

He sucked in a breath as took the tip of his cock into her mouth. Even through the latex her mouth was hot. She bobbed her head till she had him half way. A string of spit kept her connected as she pulled back.

"I'm sorry. I can't stand the taste," she said, making a face. He laughed and wiped her mouth off. He made a mental note to get tested so they go forgo the condom during foreplay next time.

"You ready?" He asked, pushing her hair behind her ears.

"Lay down," she patted his thigh.

He ruffled her hair as he climbed onto the bed, laying back on her large assortment of pillows. Her bed was always comfortable and smelled clean.

He spread out his legs a little and beckoned her over. She crawled over him, capturing his lips again. He reached a hand between her legs, spreading her open. She was slick. She whimpered into his mouth as he rubbed her clit with his thumb. He chuckled, she was headstrong and stubborn until he had his hands on her. He took his cock and rubbed it through her folds.

"Kyle!" she whined.

"Take what you want, love. You wanted to be on top."

She straightened up, a flush ran from her cheeks down to her stomach. He held her elbow steady as she lowered herself down on his cock. She threw her head back as she sank down. He breathed deeply as he watched his cock disappear inside of her.

"Oh fuck.." She groaned as he bottomed out. Her thighs were already shaking and she had a dazed look on her face.

"Giving up so soon?" He asked, rocking her hips for her.

"Leave me alone. I had two glasses of wine." She groaned, holding his shoulders for support.

"So did I," He grunted as he thrusted upwards. "So much for being a big girl."

He flipped them. She stretched out her arms and closed her eyes, humming contently.

"You're really making me do all your work today, aren't ya?" He growled against her neck.

"I'll make it up to you in the morning," She said, hooking a leg around his waist.

"Are you going to fall asleep again?" He asked, thrusting slowly.

"That was one time," she yawned. "I worked a clopen close that day."

"Just keep your eyes on me, yeah?" He pressed a kiss to her forehead as he picked up his speed. The headboard bounced against the room divider. He panted against her forehead as he found his rhythm, the kind that had her making a noise to punctuate every thrust. She would clench around him whenever he hit that sweet spot."I love this fucking pussy."

"Is that all you want me for? Pussy?" She teased.

"And your arse." He gave her a light smack on the side of her ass.

He felt his pleasure building up in his stomach and spreading through his back and legs, the muscles becoming taught. Her back was arching and her legs squirmed.

"Cum on my cock, Nina. I need you to cum on my cock," He sucked on her earlobe. She clung to him.

"Oh fuck...Kyle...fuck..."

"Good girl. Cumming for me," He groaned. She always sent him over the edge when she finished. His thrusted hard, grunting into her hair as he came.

They laid there, both panting and him growing soft inside her. She ran her fingers up and down his back, soothing the wounds her nails made. They would shower the next morning, he'd make coffee while she made eggs. It was the usual.

"So, how is The Ghost in bed?" He asked.

"I don't kiss and tell," She answered, rolling her eyes at him.

"That bad?"

She slapped his arm.

"I'm allowed to be curious," he laughed, rolling off of her. "My real question is if you think he'd be down for a threesome."

She gave him a look and rolled her eyes again.

"If not him, there is the new guy."

"New guy?"

"A Scot. I know you like the accent." He poked her shoulder. "You can meet him during clean up night this weekend."

"I'm not working clean up night this weekend."

"You are now. Kleo asked if someone could cover for her and you were nice enough to offer."

"Oh I hate you."

"Simon will be there too."

She groaned.

"You're evil."

"You love me."

"I do." She kissed his cheek and got up from the bed. "You need to clean up before you sleep in my bed."

"Yes, ma'am," He followed.

It was three in the morning by the time they had the lights off and his arms were around her again.

"I wasn't joking about the threesome," he whispered.

"Go to sleep."

Tagging the Gaz and Nina lovers 💕: @water-bearz @gogh-with-the-flow @queen-ilmaree @macravishedbymactavish

Idk If'll post anything else in this AU but if I do it'll probably be more smut.

[moonchildstyles]

Aster in the bathtub after a tiring day and he likes taking v warm baths soaking his hands in the water :( cause they were cramping and all that day :( and he started his bath alone without angel cause she was out with Sarah :( and ugh when he hears her coming in looking for him calling his name :((( and ofc she’s all :( </3 seeing his tired face walking up to him voice getting all quite “hello” and he gives her his tired smile :( “all tired?” Talking so sweetly and softly to him and h nods “how was the restaurant?” He asks since her and Sarah tried a new place “very yummy you would really love their tomato soup” and h’s head is laid back all :D “yeah, that’s what you had?” Shaking her head taking her socks off “Sarah had it but I got the pasta it was meh the one you make is way better” and just him watching her take off her clothes standing in her underwear and little top :( she asks him about his day and how his main client went :( telling her all about how his hands hurt too much today and her lips pout :( “I’ll give you a massage once you get out, okay?” Just so so sweet “that’s what got me to finish his piece” </3 her walking out and coming back with a Cotten white night dress sitting next to the bathtub looking at him :( “I can fix you now” hand reaching to his under water </////3 “don’t wanna ruin your pretty dress” voice so sleepy “I don’t mind I’ll wear your shirt when we sleep anyway” and he gives her a weak smirkkkk like yeah u will and she’ll massage his hand softly pampering it with kisses as they go back and forth with talking :( and once they both leave the bathroom and he gives her a shirt </3 she proceeds with massaging his hands putting oils to help sooth him and everything </3 and they end up sleeping with her hands wrapped around his tucked under her cheek 🧸

STOP THIS WCTUALLT MAKES ME SOOOOOOOOO:( him taking a bath first of all I could sob and cry and weep and wail and her saying his pasta is better but they should go back and try the soup:( bc he’d like it:( and his hands hurt from the big tattoo he did today but he knew he’d be alright bc she would take care of him when he got home he just needed to get through it :( also her getting undressed in front of him while he’s still in the tub all while they’re talking and I can just see him looking at her w heart eyes bc she’s just :( so pretty :( he’s so in love w her :( and her sitting down w him in her nightgown but they both know she’s going to change into his clothes when they actually go to bed:((((( literally will lose it while she’s massaging his hands and talking w him while she’s working out the cramps and helping him feel better and even putting oils and a nice cream and everything on them when they’re good to go to bed and he tells her he’s never ever felt better:( AND HER SLEEPING W HIS HANDS UNDER HER CHEEK NO ONE TALK TO ME:(((((((((

[q-gorgeous]

Maybe ghosts aren’t the real monsters after all

fanfiction

ao3

word count: 1123

"The date started off so well, beginning my night not expecting the fright of my life. They were perfect from what I could tell. How could I not see the danger right in front of me-" (dark ages preferred but please go hog wild with other ships that would be hilarious/fun to write this with!) @kawaiijohn

i watched an episode to include a line in here then realized i couldnt actually include that line or it wouldnt work jknhbgf

Valerie smiled at Danny as he sat down in the chair across from her. She was glad they could finally make this work. She no longer needed to work two jobs to help her dad pay rent, not with his new job. So she kept her cashier job at the Nasty Burger and dumped the other one. Now she only had to worry about one job, school, and hunting ghosts. 

She remembered that she broke up with him because she didn’t want to put him in danger. She remembered how Phantom targeted her that one day. Well, not her. It was her suit. But he didn’t know that. For all she knew, he was out there trying to murder her that day. 

But looking at Danny now was enough to put those worries out of her head. It’s not like the ghosts had an issue with him. It was just her. And his parents. But the ghosts could care less about his parents. They barely paid her any mind. It would be fine. They wouldn’t hurt him. 

Ghosts were the last thing she wanted to be thinking about anyway. Especially when she had what she was convinced to be the love of her life sitting right in front of her. Ghosts could wait for the time being. 

They were at a nice restaurant. It was nothing fancy, affordable enough for two teenagers. It was better than the Nasty Burger, though. She appreciated it. 

A waiter walked up to them. “Hi guys, I’m Clara and I’ll be your server today! Can I get you started off with some drinks?”

“Yeah!” Danny said. “Can I get a Pepsi?”

“You bet!” Clara wrote it down and turned to Valerie. “What can I get for you?” 

“I’ll take a Sprite.”

“Okay.” Clara jotted that down as well. “I’ll go get those for you and give you some time to look at the menu.”

“Thanks.”

“Thank you.”

“What do you think looks good?” Danny asked shyly. “I’ve never actually been here before.”

“Well, they’ve got a big pasta section. Everyone loves noodles.”

Danny nodded, flipping to a new page in the menu and studying it. “I do love noodles.”

They looked at their menus for a couple minutes, keeping their conversation light. Soon Clara came back with their drinks and took their orders. They continued to talk while they waited for their food. 

Valerie laughed. “How did you get Dash to do that? He’d never!” 

“He’d never back down from a challenge. It’s all about how you play it up. If you make it sound like he’s a wuss for not doing something he’ll take the bait.”

Then Clara was returning, a tray of food resting on one of her hands. “Here we go! Shrimp and broccoli fettuccine alfredo for you.” She placed the plate down in front of Danny. “And smoked salmon for the lady.” 

“Thank you!” Valerie said. “It looks delicious.”

“I hope you enjoy-” Clara cut herself off with a scream, looking up past Valerie. She turned around to see the Lunch Lady ghost floating behind her. 

So much for the ghosts waiting. 

“Come on!” Danny groaned. “I won’t even get to eat my food!” 

“This restaurant will rue the day that it broke healthcode violations!” 

Danny made a face up at the ghost. “At least she has a good reason this time I guess?”

“Get down!” Valerie grabbed his shirt from across the table and pulled him down with her so they could hide underneath it. She needed to get Danny out of here so he’d be safe. And so she could transform. She wished he knew her secret, that would make this much easier. Almost everyone else had already ran out of the building by now. There’d be no one else to see. 

“Watch out!” 

Valerie had been distracted trying to find a way out that she didn’t notice the floating knives pointing at her. She watched as they started flying through the air towards her but then she was being shoved out of the way. She landed on the ground a couple feet away and wrenched her gaze towards the spot Danny had pushed her out of. Had he been hurt?

He stood there, the knives embedded into the wooden floor behind him. 

How did he do that? He couldn’t have dodged those.

“Sorry, Valerie.”

What did he need to apologize for? He just saved her! She should be the one apologizing to-

Valerie’s train of thought stopped as two bright rings appeared around his waist. 

She watched them split and separate. They traveled along his body, passing over his head and his feet. Left in Danny’s place was Phantom. 

He sprung up and started fighting the Lunch Lady. Valerie could only watch in a daze. 

The disguise was so perfect. She couldn’t even tell that that wasn’t Danny. How could she not have seen the dangerous ghost that had been sitting right in front of her?

She watched him grab the thermos that now always hung by his waist and trapped the Lunch Lady inside it. He touched back down on the ground. When he turned to face her, Valerie socked him in the face.

“Ow!” Phantom shouted, holding his jaw. “What was that for?”

She activated her suit and transformed. Pulling out a gun, she aimed it at him.

“Where is he?” She asked lowly.

“Where is who?” He looked confused. His facade made her angry.

“Danny Fenton!” She yelled. “What did you do to him? Did you hurt him to get to me?”

“What? No, Valerie. I’m-”

“How long?” She asked. “How long have you been toying with my feelings? Playing this game? Where did the real Danny go?”

“There is no real Danny!” He stood back up and looked at her. “There’s only one! Me! I’ve been Danny and Phantom this whole time!”

She shook her gun at him. “Oh yeah? How do you explain destroying my suit?”

“You weren’t in it.”

“You ruined my life!” She threw her hands into the air. “You’ve made it a living hell! My dad lost his job all because of you! Danny would never do that!”

His hands raised up to his head and grabbed his hair tightly. He looked back at her. “It was an accident! How many times do I have to tell you that?”

“Why should I believe anything you say if you’ve been lying to me this whole time anyways?”

Their silence weighed heavily on them. He didn’t say anything to that. He looked away from her.

“Maybe ghosts aren’t the real monsters after all.”

His head shot back up at her quiet words. 

“Valerie, wait-”

“No.” She turned away from him. “I need to be alone.”

[causenessus]

good morning, evening or afternoon my loveliness!! how’s your day been? have you eaten? MAKE SURE U EAT !! today i just had pasta in the morning like i literally JUST got off work and i was like okay okay time to reply to my dearest ness(ill probably have pasta again)(like ill be eating in between writing this LOL) but OH MY GOD MY JAW DROPPED WHEN I SAW HOW LONG MY LAST ASK WAS LIKE IM LITERALLY I YAPPED SO MUCH IM SO SO SORRY LOL i was like i genuinely went😧(AND THATS EVEN IN THE SMALL FONT!!)(deepest apologies to anyone who had to scroll pass that)

OFC I NOTICE THINGS ABOUT U !! i think it’s like a like my mind mentally notes the things you say and i kind of catch onto your mannerisms?(IS THAT WEIRD??)(like in a GOOD WAY ofc) and i just kind of recognize the way you write !! like i feel like if the roles were reversed i would 100% be able to tell who you are by the way you write(IN A GOOD WAY ALWAYS IN A GOOD WAY)(all love for my one and only always always) also yeah! i don’t live in the states but i think our timezones are the same or like one hour apart so I TOTALLY GET IT the assumption is valid! DONT APOLOGIZE AT ALL i would’ve done the exact same thing or honestly if someone said “i have the same time zone as you” i would probably be like omg stop they’re my neighbour LMAOO

THE RESTAURANT CHAOS SEEMS SO REAL like i’ve never worked in a restaurant so i can’t really imagine the environment but hearing the experience from you and my friend who works at olive garden i’m like… maybe i SHOULDNT complain about my retail job LOL LIKE IT SEEMS SO CHAOTIC? but that’s so true!!(sorry you probably have no idea what i’m talking about) LIKE I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN MAKING SURE THE CUSTOMER IS OKAY like ill be running around the store holding like pounds of clothing and ill have a customer come up to me like “erm do you have this in the back?” LIKE MA’AM RESPECTFULLY NO IM SORRY CAN YOU TALK TO ME WHEN IM NOT BUSY but i CANT say that so i just end up saying “im sorry whatever we have out here is all we have :)” then i scurry away like IM JUST A GIRL?? also also idk if this is a common thing too but lets talk about some of the WEIRDOS at work right so i know im 18 now but when i was a minor i had some weird interactions with MEN(let me just give you a little description of mango anon right so im like 5’1 and i have a baby face like “going into places saying i’m 13 for it to be cheaper” type of baby face)(but this is when i was like 16 i don’t think that trick will work anymore LOL) but tell me why i had GROWN MEN come up to me USING MY NAME(curse name tags) be weird? like i had this one guy literally tell ME(I WAS 16 OR 17 DURING THIS) “you’d make a good housewife!” when i was folding his clothes and at first i was like yo okay that’s a bit weird but then he was like “how old do you have to be to work here?” THEN i was like okay okay that’s personal information! so i was just like “oh haha idk” like awkwardly and he’s like “so do you have to be over 18 to work here” and i was like SIR okay your total is $18.67 how would you like to pay today! anyways it was weird, my other coworkers also had a lot of weird interactions so like one of my coworkers who was older than me just told me to not wear my name tag like our managers won’t make a huge deal out of it and whatever so yeah that was that, lesson of the day! don’t be a weirdo!

also i swear run and props is like favourite for tech theatre WHICH I GET like when i was in high school a lot of people liked being in run and prop because idk they like the big role or something?? i think also costumes and makeup was also pretty popular but like i remember one time the director flipped a switch on us because like the makeup crew was actually people from our cosmetology class and they would like fool around A LOT like they did the makeup but they would be like yapping a lot so one day my director was like IF UR NOT GONNA DO UR JOB THEN WE’LL HAVE SOMEONE ELSE DO IT !! and then everyone was like oohh okayyy(we got yelled at A LOT tbh for little silly things)(tech theatre ptsd ill tell u) and omg the kid who wanted your light job like CALM DOWN(i am now too spiteful against them)(i will hire the etsy witch to curse them for you) like i swear i’ve met some of the worse people in tech and its CRAZY like the ratio of normal people to absolute arrogant weirdos is CRAZY(ill be generous and say 1:3)and literally yeah like i didn’t want to continue with tech because of the toxic environment like i literally CAN NOT, i know people in uni would be a little more mature and like take tech more seriously but i STILL CANT LIKE there will always be that one person that will ruin it for everyone so i had to blow out the torch and unfortunately say goodbye to theatre </3 UNLESS ONE DAY IN THE FUTURE I HEAR YOU DROP THAT YOURE GONNA BE WORKING AT A THEATRE i’ll literally buy my plane tickets and sign up to be sounds and go be with you like YOU WILL MAKE IT BEARABLE and we’ll literally be the ultimate lights and sound duo like no one can compete idc if the other person has more years of experience than me I WILL STILL SQUEEZE MYSELF IN !! ALSO OMG IN MY THEATRE DAYS (in my good old days) literally most of the people who did take it serious were WOMEN like we are tech mothers!! we are women in STEM!! the majority of people who got on my nerves were men(i apologize to any men reading this)(but unfortunately it is the truth for me </3) ALSO PLS ITS SO FUNNY HOW YOU HAVE AN ICK FOR EVERY GUY YOU USED TO LIKE (i 100% get it) i love hearing about it too LOL ALSO THAT DYNAMIC OF STAGE MANAGER READER AND LIGHTS HEAD SUNA?? i can literally imagine suna being so silly and teasing while the reader has to take it seriously since yk.. it’s her job LIKE ITS LITERALLY LIKE MANAGER READER X SUNA BUT THEATRE-IZED (if that makes sense) also PLS DONT WORRY!! u have so much stuff lined up like take your time and don’t worry! at the end of the day everyone should be thankful that you’re even here sharing your amazing talents with everyone <33

also oh. my. god. if i heard someone say “ITS UP TO ME TO SAVE THE SHOW” i think i would die on spot like id stare at them in genuine disbelief and be like.. alright… alright everyone pack it up our HERO is here to save us like ?? omg and i literally had the same experience right so we were doing the shirley holmes play right and our lead just would not SPEAK UP LIKE ill admit. their acting was pretty good and stage presence was good but WHY CANT YOU SPEAK UP??? like literally so many times i had to like try to read her lips because i literally could not like it was so frustrating, and i couldn’t even be mad at her because she was good EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT SHE COULDNT PROJECT and yk why yk why she was like “im saving my voice for show night” like… excuse me… EXCUSE ME?? (anyways i have a lot of old rage from tech)(this is why i quit!!!)

ONLINE GROUPS ARE SO FUNNY LIKE I SWEAR ITS THE SAME LINEUP LIKE the oldest which formed the group, we have the middle area then the random minors who are like 10 years younger than everyone LOL but socks if you read this im so sorry </333 idk if i liked you back i was like 15 at the time but i promise you i wasn’t ghosting you </333 i was just trying to see what you said I DIDN’T MEAN IT !! ALSO DONT WORRY ABT UR TANGENTS BCUZ ME TOO i literally ramble and yap so much sometimes im ASTONISHED LMAOO

ALSO IM GONNA GO BACK MEMORY LANE FOR A SECOND BCUZ THAT ANON THAT ASKED YOU ABT THE ORIGINAL LOVENOTES STORY AWAKENED SOMETHING IN ME so i remember the first ever ask i sent in was when you were first making love notes like the intros were out already and everything and you were talking about how like having suga in the storyline was kinda messing you up a little bit and you were saying how you were second guessing yourself on it so i sent in a little anon ask(I CANT REMEMBER PROPERLY BUT) saying basically “hey !! you can still change the storyline because it is ur story !! just write what you’re comfortable with” SOMETHING LIKE THAT and u were literally so sweet and then that’s when you changed it and i was like omg ness is literally so sweet what then a few days later i sent in just a small like “hi ness how are you ! did you eat yet?” (i think those were my exact words i actually don’t remember) AND YOU WERE LITERALLY SO SWEET?? LIKE I ALMOST CRIED BCUZ LIKE you were like “tell me what you ate and how you are!” and i thought it was literally the sweetest thing ever so i made it my life obligation and role to make sure you were always taking care of yourself from now on like even if im busy i will always send a little “make sure to eat!! take care of urself!!” (i’ll literally be ur guardian angel from now on) i also think you put it in ur favourites and i literally MY HEART MELTED I WAS LIKE HHHHHH BUT YEAH anyways that’s the origins of mango anon LOL but anyways omg i yapped so much this took an hour to write (IM NOT COMPLAINING I JUST THINK ITS FUNNY)(but to be fair i ate between writing these) it’s so funny bcuz an hour passes by but i don’t feel like it’s an hour like i swear i black out and i just type type type and im like omg im done!!

ANYWAYS i hope you’ve had a good day today and that you’ve eaten well!! U DESERVE NOTHING BUT THE BEST make sure to take care of urself I APPRECIATE AND LOVE YOU VERY MUCH SO MAKE SURE YOU TAKE CARE OF URSELF!! always and always <333 xoxoxo

MY LOVELY MANGO ANON I MISSED U SM <3 HELLO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MANGO ANON HELLO CAN U TELL I MISSED U (like it wasn't my own fault i haven't been able to open my inbox until just not BUT NONETHELESS I MISSED YOU </33 LIKE I WAS WORKING AND I WAS LIKE "i haven't seen anything from mango anon yet </3" BUT THAT'S NO PRESSURE ON YOU!! IK YOU WERE BUSY AND ALSO HAD THAT 9-5:30 SO I TOTALLY GET IT OKAY NOW I'M GOING TO GO BACK AND READ YOUR ASK!!!)

I HOPE YOU ATE AS WELL!! dw i've once again been eating my depression meal staple BUT TODAY my toast had almond butter on it bc i'm just really obsessed with almond butter <3 SO I THINK I ATE GOOD TODAY!! AND I HOPE YOUR PASTA WAS GOOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MANGO ANON AAA I MISSED U 😭 AND IT HASN'T EVEN BEEN A DAY OR ANYTHING SINCE WE TALKED BUT I JUST MISSED U PLEASE DON'T WORRY ABOUT LONG ASKS AT ALL!!! PEOPLE CAN DEAL WITH IT AND SCROLL PAST YOU ARE MY ONLY PRIORITY <3

and i totally get what you mean!! i catch onto a lot of people's mannerisms/habits as well and always remember like super small details they'll tell me about but i feel like i've never met anyone else who does that 😭 YOU AND ME BEING TWIN FLAMES AGAIN MANGO ANON I'M IN LOVE WITH U <3

AND PLEASE AS SOMEONE WHOSE WORKING IN THE RETAIL AND FOOD INDUSTRIES RN </3 THEY BOTH HAVE THEIR OWN PROBLEMS like yes men are weird 😔 i can't tell if i appreciate the fact that like 50% of the sushi chefs i work with have/have had a crush on me and the way they all stare 😭 or find it uncomfortable BC LIKE on one hand they are very nice!! and it hypes me up!! like most of them are just "aw you look like ur mother <3" since i work at that job with my mom (unfortunately) but then the one's who like me are like "do u want me to cut watermelon for u 👴" LIKE NO BRO GET AWAY 😭😭 AND LIKE FRFR THE TERRIFYING INTERACTIONS I HAVE WITH OLD MEN ESPECIALLY WHEN I WAS A MINOR???? THAT WAS NOT GOOD AND THE WAY MY JAW DROPPED READING YOU TALK ABOUT THE MAN THAT SAID YOU'D MAKE A GOOD HOUSEWIFE LIKE??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? LITERALLY WHO SAYS THAT TO ANYONE AND EVEN MORE TO LIKE SOMEONE YOUNG WORKING A RETAIL JOB AND LIKE 50K MORE REASONS WHAT IN THE WORLD 🤮🤮🤮 it is literally horrible that like you have to not wear a nametag just to prevent those interactions 😭 but at the same time nametags suck!! and i never wear mine bc i just don't care LMAO

TECH THEATRE PTSD </33 IMO I ALWAYS THOUGHT RUN/PROPS WAS SUPER POPULAR JUST BC IT SEEMED LIKE THE EASIEST THING TO START IN IF THAT MAKES SENSE?? LIKE LIGHTS/SOUND ALWAYS SOUNDS INTIMIDATING AND FOR MY SCHOOL (going to stop talking in caps bc idk why i'm screaming all the time like for what?? calm down ness it's ok) we had like a SINGLE person on makeup (and so our tech director would do specials) and like just a few people for costumes. sound was usually like two people, lights was a bit bigger (unfortunately)(i HATE working with people)(except if i worked with u <3 i would be jumping for joy and my life would be sunshine and rainbows <3), but run and props was always the biggest. like i started there bc it seemed the least scary!! so i think that's a lot of other people's thought process too 😭 WE ALSO GOT YELLED AT A LOT FOR STUPID THINGS or i mean idk if it was stupid we kind of deserved it bc like theatre kids yap SO much but like my director during tech week would always be like "we must preach patience and kindness guys!! everyone is stressed during this week so please be patient with each other ❤" and then HE'D be the one to blow up like my freshman year when i got thrown into ASMing for our spring play backstage like someone on my side was talking and my director like LOST IT and came into the wing from behind me and started yelling at us and literally gave me a panic attack 😭😭 like i had to leave bc i could NOT breathe and luckily someone found me bc i was fully about to pass out LMAOAOAO AND THEN my junior year is when i started lights and so u probably get this but like yk lights and sound is always in a booth (which i think are always behind all the seats, right? or at least that's how it's been for every theatre i've gone to) and so our director lost it again bc someone was talking i think but since i'm in the booth we watch this middle aged bald man get up and go behind stage and we're all like "oh no."

like that rehearsal full on stopped everyone started hiding LMAO OUR PEOPLE WITH HEADSETS BACKSTAGE PUT DOWN THEIR MICS SO WE COULD HEAR WHO HE WAS YELLING AT but everyone in the booth went on lockdown like our spot op ran up to hide in the booth and then we locked the door and i hid on a speaker bc i was NOT getting yelled at again but then we resumed rehearsal and our director never came up so my stage manager next to me and me were like "oh thank goodness he didn't come yell at us" AND THEN HE POPPOED UP RIGHT OUTSIDE OUR BOOTH WINDOW AND I SCREAMED 😭😭😭 AND HE CAME IN AND THEN JUST WENT

"okay how's it going? what do you need from me?" i need you to LEAVE SIR MY SOUL JUST LEFT MY BODY

ANYWAY THE 1:3 RATIO IS SO GENEROUS LMAOOO there is so much toxicity there 😭😭 so i totally get it. when the theatre world comes crashing down u and i will make our comeback mango anon!! we'll go in as a fire lights and sound duo together and beat all the professionals despite only having high school experience LMAO

I ALSO HAVE A LOT OF OLD RAGE FROM TECH THAT'S WHY I'M STILL MAD AT THE KID WHO TRIED TO STEAL MY JOB 😭 i will never get over the "it's up to me" quote like literally i remember that and the RAGE THAT FILLS MY VEINS OMG anyway 🌸 "i'm saving my voice for show night" HELLO??? I BET SHE DIDN'T EVEN SPEAK UP DURING THE ACTUAL PERFORMANCES OR NOT THAT MUCH LOUDER AND LITERALLY LIKE IF UR VOICE IS THAT SENSITIVE GET OUT OR FIX IT OR SOMETHING IDK BUT LIKE U CANNOT DO THAT (i am with u completely on the still having old pent up rage as u can see)

ONLINE GROUPS ARE DEF FUNNY AND THE RANDOM MINORS BEING 10 YEARS YOUNGER THAN EVERYONE ELSE IS SO REAL 😭😭 pov 2020 when i was on a shifting discord server.....and there were people of all ages....what a time that was....i don't want to think about it anymore....

AND AAAA MEMORY LANE <333 I REMEMBER EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE ASKS BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE SWEETEST!!! like i could not tell you how much it meant to me to have someone checking in to make sure i ate bc that's just something super like ??????? sweet to me <3 like i felt so loved reading your asks AND I STILL DO!!!! TIME FLIES WHEN UR HAVING FUN!! (barf. never saying that agian. way too cliche. BUT YKWIM) I LOVE LOVE LOVE THESE LONG YAP SESSIONS!! THEY ARE MY FAVORITE THING EVER <3 I'M SO GLAD YOU DECIDED TO START SENDING IN MORE ASKS BC YOU HAVE LITERALLY CHANGED MY LIFE AND MADE ME SO HAPPY MANGO ANON I'M SO THANKFUL FOR YOU AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IF YOU COULDN'T TELL <333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 (that's a lot of threes but i just spam threes as a way to get out pent up love/energy. it's like my way of stimming through the screen LMAO)

I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD DAY!!! TODAY HAS BEEN AMAZING NOW THAT I'VE HEARD FROM YOU MANGO ANON MY LOVE MY FAVORITE PERSON EVER MY SOULMATE LOVE OF MY LIFE <33333333 you deserve the entire universe and more!!! you deserve a sky full of shooting stars and thousands of wishes and for all of them to come true <3 i love you sm mango anon!! please make sure to take care of yourself too or i'll simply have to book a ticket and fly to you and take care of you bc i'll gladly be ur housewife <3 🥰 IT WAS SO GOOD TO HEAR FROM U!! AND HAVE A LOVELY DAY TOMORROW AS WELL <3333

[this-is-a-love-story-isnt-it]

There's this pizza place I order from often (I usually get pasta with meat sauce. It's seriously the best meat sauce I've ever had). So anyway, it's a pizza place with the typical pizzas, calzones, and pasta dishes, but they also have a huge section of the menu for Latin Food. They also have appetizers like fried plantain, carnitas, empanadas, etc. Today I ordered the platanos maduro relleno, which is meat and cheese stuffed plantain. I've never had it before, so I'll let you guys know how it is.

They also have drinks like Jarritos, Manzana (apple) soda, coconut water...

I just think it's so interesting that it's a pizza restaurant that also has Italian food and Latin food

[purplesurveys]

1902

If you had $10,000 dollars right now what would you do with it? I'd give my parents a portion of it, then keep the rest tucked away in my savings. I'm planning to hunt for a condo by year-end anyway so that amount would honestly take me super super far.

When was the last time you consumed alcohol? Two weeks ago at Angela and Hans' engagement party.

Have you ever broken a bone? No. Sprains were the worst I've had; fortunately never broke a bone.

What type of perfume do you use the most? I don't really like perfume as I find them too strong.

What book are you reading, currently? I haven't read anything in a while.

Are you interested in creative writing of any sort? No. I dabbled in it in my younger years but quickly learned that it wasn't and would never be my forte. I couldn't even think of creative plots so there was barely anything that translated to writing either. I've always enjoyed writing non-fiction stuff much more – and am miles miles miles away better at it too.

Would you introduce the last person you kissed to your parents? They knew her.

Can a boy and girl be friends without having feeling for one another? Yes? Why is this even a question haha.

Can you ever see yourself and your ex back together? No.

Are any of your friends virgins? There may be a couple but I'm really just guessing. Sex isn't ever something that comes up except with close friends.

Who did you last go out to eat with? Family – we were at a Japanese restaurant a week ago.

Is your ex a complete loser? I'd rather not call them such names at this point. Of course, they suck for many things but let's keep it at that haha.

What does the shirt you’re wearing look like? Where did you get it from? It's an olive green shirt that's turtleneck-ish but not really? I don't really know how to explains it haha but it kind of bunches up at the neck area. Shopee.

Who is the funniest person you know? Hans.

Do you say sorry first? If I know I should.

What do you look like right now? Pretty decent, tbh. We spent the entire evening hosting dinner for our extended family who've flown in from the States, so I wanted to make sure I looked nice even if we were just having the gathering at home. They came complete too for the very first time – it's usually just the immediate family who comes but they've brought in husbands and boyfriends too, who were all American.

It was a lot of fun! This might sound weird to those who live in countries with more diversity in cultures, but coming from a homogenous country it was so fascinating to meet Americans for the first time!! They were so nice and easy to talk to! And very chatty so it really helped me come out of my shell.

Who’s bed were you on last? Mine.

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? Elijah, I think.

Do you like to cuddle? Yeah it's nice but I haven't done it in years.

Is sex on your mind more than 3 times a day? Not usually.

What were you doing an hour ago? Washing the dishes.

Do you like it up against the wall? Sure.

Do you prefer girlfriend / boyfriend or friends with benefits? Continued from last night. A relationship.

Are you smiling? No.

When did you last eat pizza? Last night. The dinner-hosting was super impromptu and my mom only had time to make simple pasta, so I rushed to get follow-up pizza + mojos so that everyone was fed well.

Honestly, are things going the way you planned? I don't really plan to begin with....? I know that sounds bad, but I generally just try to do my best out of what life hands. The only things I try not to do are fuck up at work and lose relationships; and so far that has been going well.

Is the last person of the opposite sex you texted single? No.

Who did you spend your summer with last year? For the most part, with my family; but I also had a reasonable portion of it with my closest group of friends.

Did you wear what you are wearing today for a specific reason? I chose to wear it for a reason last night, yeah. I just haven't changed out of it since then because I was exhausssssted and just wanted to sleep.

What was the last thing you ate? A slice of pizza + god knows how many mojos.

Are you taking this survey in a place other than your home? No, I am at home.

Did you get ice cream from the ice cream truck when you were little? Do they still have an ice cream truck where you live? Every once in a while, yeah. We just were rarely allowed to – and to this day, I rarely entertain them – because the markup is bonkers. One came over during the pandemic and a popsicle that would go for ₱15-₱20 pesos cost like ₱50. So ever since then I've been wary about going out to meet them and only do when I have a very particular craving for ice cream.

*We also don't have ice cream trucks. They travel on bikes with a little extension on the side for their coolers.

What has been the most traumatic experience of your life? Does it still bother you? My breakup, because it sent me into a downward spiral in ways I had never reached before and have never reached since. If you look at my camera roll today, it literally jumps from August to October 2020 (it happened in September) as I barely ate and only stayed in my room at the time. Traumatic, but also the most emotionally exhausting thing I've ever been through.

No, I hardly think about it these days; and if anything, I only think about it when I want to be reminded to be grateful for the life I have now and the nice things I have been able to experience since. If I had let my sadness win, I never would have found BTS, witnessed my best friend get engaged, be able to travel to other countries, etc.

What would happen if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? I mean it would be a scientific breakthrough more than anything because we are both girls, so I'd worry about that part first lol.

Don’t you hate it when your cell phone dies in the middle of a convo? Sure, but I always run to plug it in so that it doesn't happen.

If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? No.

Would you run down the street naked if it meant earning $15,000? Sure.

Where was the last place you got completely wasted? 2017? 2018? idk that was the last time it went horrible, and since then I've managed how much I drink.

Have you ever changed the prices of items at a store? Wow, no.

Would your parents disown you if you got pregnant? At this point no. They'll get SUPER disappointed if I got pregnant without a legal partner (aka married lol) and will probably take it out on me but I'm sure they will be excited at least for the going-to-be-grandparents part.

When was the last time you drank alcohol? What was it? Two weeks ago. Just a couple bottles of apple-flavored beer.

Do you like where you live? Yes. It's okay, it's quiet, but I'm also looking for a change in pace.

Are you going to any concerts or festivals this summer? Nothing planned out.

Have you had sex with someone you weren’t married to? Someone you weren’t even dating? Not married to, yes. Not dating, no.

Are you under the age of 18? No.

Do you have a job? I do.

Are you going to school still? Do you plan on going to college? No more school. I graduated in 2020 and have no plans on getting any higher degrees.

Are you overweight? No. My last medical exam was very clear in stating underweight.

Would you get married at 18? Well, I didn't.

Have you ever been so wasted, you couldn’t walk? Just a handful of times.

What is the last thing that you got really excited over? Meeting my extended cousins after 8 years, and for the first time their husband/boyfriend too.

Any baby names you think you might name your future kids? I have a few favorites. Not that I'll ever have to use them.

When was the last time you had sex? A few years back.

Who did you last hang out with other then family? Co-workers.

Do you remember the last boy you texted? What was it about? Probably Hans, and I think we were just talking about proposal plans. I don't text much.

If you could go back in time and change things, would you? Nope.

Has anyone had their hand in your pants today? Uh, nope.

Do you like your dad? How about your mom? Sure. My dad's great; my mom's okay for the most part but she also has her psychopath/sociopath moments that make me question her...entire person, essentially.

Have you had a good day today or was yesterday better? I feel yesterday would be better because I know we have no plans today.

Do you have anything that belongs to your boyfriend/girlfriend? I don't have one.

Think back to your most important relationship, was it all your fault it’s over? It was both of us.

Was your last kiss drunk or sober? Sober.

What’s your favorite color? Purple.

Do you drink? Socially.

Do you smoke? Kind of.

Ever had a black eye? I have not.

When was the last time you slept in bed with a member of the opposite sex? Who was it? I don't think that's ever happened.

Did your most recent kiss take place in/on a bed? No.

Has anyone seen you naked in the last 6 months? Nope.

How would you describe your current relationship status? I'm single and voluntarily avoiding relationships.

Have you ever shared food/drink off the same plate/glass as someone you like? Not just with someone I like, but with friends or family too.

Have you ever had a valentine? Sure.

Have your lips ever gone numb from kissing? I don't think so.

Last person to cuddle with? The person I was with years ago.

[stressedlawsecretary]

Today's Focus

07.15.24 - Day 15; give it up for day 15! Anyway, the prompt for the fashion challenge is "dress like you're going to the nicest restaurant in a major city." Where I live, that major city would be NYC; my fiance literally bought this dress for me so he could take me out somewhere fancy in it. I would have worn pumps, but the ones I have I noticed the strap is close to breaking and I do not want that to happen now that I'm back at work. So the boots will have to do; at least they're JLo brand! I'll make a secondary post to track all the fashion challenge outfits I put together.

Work - Um. Whatever's in the inbox lol. I mean I've been off of work for over a full business week; I have like 100 emails to work through.

Background Noise - Well. I'm back in the office so I'm back to binging YT, which I did not stop doing over my vacation but I have been working on getting the really long, movie-length podcast style videos off my list.

Speaking of that: I did cover like 46 videos over my vacation, of which like 17 of them were literally over an hr long, and a few more were close to the hr mark.

Study - Monday is case law day and if I have any time at all I'll pick up where I left off on my reading.

I did not 'study' on my vacation that's not what that was for.

Extras - Monday means I clean the catbox from over the weekend; not only did I keep up on chores but I also used my time off to do a lot of housecleaning and housekeeping. Cooking today is a fancy meal with grilled chicken and a burrata and tomato pasta. Monday is WTFIWWY day and more YT; hunny and I did finish up Kamen Rider Build while I was on vacay (excepting two post-series specials) so we're going back to Kyuranger to finish that up this week. Back to writing my mini-essays; I did not write over my vacay but again I did a bunch of house stuff I had been putting off so the productivity was actually quite high. Think I might also start a podcast.

[piracytheorist]

Oohhh god. I feel the fatigue in my body already. I had forgotten just how much garbage comes forth whenever you move houses. So many old notes and small receipts and broken hair ties and old leaflets and stuff. I've gone downstairs to throw out trash about four times today, and there's a little more gathered now but it's too little to justify putting on a bra again to go out. I wore my bra all day long today cause it was out of the question doing packing with my Ds unsupported, and about an hour ago I went like "I'm done for today", took it off and had dinner, so it's not coming back on for today XD

I think I'm more than halfway done - that's not counting my electric piano. I need one more person to help with packing that one cause that damn keyboard is big and heavy. The big appliances are just going to go in the car as they are. I'm probably going to get a furnished apartment so all the appliances will have to fit somewhere in my parents' place, so they won't go far, so no need to pack and bubble-wrap those.

My main problem is the dishes and cutlery. I can't pack them yet cause I need to eat tomorrow and on Monday. I'll never get over my fear of packing fragile plates cause what if I drop the box. I mean they barely cost 3 euros each but still. Who deals with that.

I may actually have to go buy some bubble wrap for those on Monday. Oof. So much stuff to do on Monday and only Monday as it's probably going to be my last day in this apartment. My mother offered to help arrange the final stuff, like cut off water and electricity, give back the keys to my landlady, and pick up the appliances I won't take in the new place, so I have a lot of help in that department, but I pretty much have to have everything settled from my side by Monday evening.

It really is that the stress of whether I'd get a job left and the stress of moving out set in. At least it's a little more hopeful this time. If I get a cheap apartment, I can put some money aside all year long so next time I'll have to move I can just rent a van and not worry about trunk space.

Oof. It will be a few intense days until I'm settled and get accustomed to the new place and job. But it's for a good change. I'm so happy the temperature has dropped cause boy I don't know what I would have otherwise XD

Anyway just an update, mostly for me to feel validated for today and encourage myself for tomorrow. Still lots of stuff to put away and decide which box they're going in. Tomorrow I'm continuing the packing, then resting and ordering my favourite pasta dish which I'll probably take TOO LONG to eat again cause it's only from a specific restaurant here and I don't know when I'll be back to taste it again T_T

I'm actually going to miss this town. I didn't love it enough to be like "This should be my forever home!" but I did grow accustomed to it pretty quick. There are lots of things I'll think about it fondly... but the great part about the new place is that it's a twenty-minute (and cheap!) bus ride from the sea. And I've missed walking down a beach or seaside town. That'll definitely fill some of my weekends XD

[cordycepsfem]

Pageboy Readthrough, Part Eight

Previously

your reviewer had to read about EP's sex life with her own two eyes

this included the bizarre phrase "magnets sucking" which, I'm not going to lie, has possessed my entire brain since reading it

I'll be just sitting at work thinking work thoughts and then all of a sudden I'll magically hear a voice saying magnets sucking in my brain and remember why it is that 30-somethings should not be writing memoirs

anyway the rest of the chapter was about being homophobically attacked

your reviewer went off on a tangent about why Umbrella Academy Season Three sucked

we had a brief "we live in a society" moment

and then we had a much longer digression about anger being useful

by the end of it all EP owed me $64.80 (CAD) for everything I had to read with the only two human eyes I'm ever going to have

Also, I want to go off on a longer digression about this today: it finally hit me why this book is hard to read...

It's not well-written.

There's a lot of jumping back and forth between things that are happening now and things that happened previously, and then when we're reading about the now there are lots of side tangents about things that are also happening now or recently happened. There's not a straight line through a chapter.

Maybe this is what it's like in EP's head and for that she has my sincerest sympathy and understanding, as I don't think anyone's mind truly works in a linear way. But she also had, I assume, an editor or two who had the thing in front of them and could have helped but didn't. Again, this is my entire soapbox about 30-somethings writing memoirs: as a group nothing's happened to us miraculous enough to fill a memoir, and we're also not emotionally ready for people to tell us we're actually not that brilliant, so many of us would have a hard time taking direction. I don't know if EP's celebrity "wowed" whoever her editor was, and they just slapped a "You go guy!" sticker on it and sent it to the publisher, but... if I turned this in I would be embarrassed to read it back, partially for all of the embarrassing childhood things I would have shared but also because I wrote it in a way that says "linear plot line? fuck her" and expected everyone to love it.

But what do I know - I'm not on the New York Times bestseller list or anything. (Or am I? You don't know.)

Now

Chapter Ten

EP tells us about being cast in An American Crime and meeting Catherine Keener

having not seen the film nor having any idea who this woman is, let's read on

ah, yes, I remember now:

An American Crime is about the horrific abuse of a young woman named Sylvia Likens

obviously acting in this role was a lot for EP, as it would be for any actor

this part of the book is actually really tender, and I appreciate the detail EP puts into talking about how she would try to get the feeling of playing a horribly abused young woman out of her head

and for all I said about it not being written well, these two paragraphs felt absolutely solid in my chest:

(apart from the fact that a metronome sets tempo, not speed, because again, I am a very specific type of asshole, and today apparently it's "pedantic about music" asshole)

EP talks about going to a restaurant in a train car that only serves pasta and I am once again jealous

she also talks about her eating disorder, smoking, drinking, and not sleeping as her basic routine, and I am once again saddened

she dates a guy who tells her she's not gay while they're having sex (see, this is where the whole timeline thing comes in - in a previous chapter she'd already come out, and now we're back before that happened)

when EP returns to Halifax she weighs 84 pounds (38.1 kg)

here are some other things that weigh approximately 84 pounds, according to the internet:

ten gallons of water

a baby rhino

2 bushels of gooseberries

a fiberglass canoe

16 bricks

2 sandbags

anyway

EP's mom is worried about her

a therapist gives her bad advice

EP gains some weight back and then goes to audition for Juno

we learn that before EP's mom was a French teacher she worked for Air Canada but is afraid of flying

we also learn that EP's mom is the daughter of Anglican minister

EP enters a sexual relationship with Olivia Thirlby and hangs out with Michael Cera and Jonah Hill and they make music and get stoned and walk around town together

oh and also they make Juno and it is good and EP loves making it

and things are better

and the next chapter opens with vomiting so it is here I must stop for the night