#anyway then we see him kiss like every guy on the roster to prove his point

[finndoesntwantthis]

I think she should just continue to forget that Anthony is gay and every week he has to remind her, that way we can truly have pride every month 🥰

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

please. i can’t do this alone.

Titans 3.01

thoughts! thoughts! thoughts! some red hot thoughts!

SPOILERS ahead.

1. one episode in, and this season already looks set to give me everything i want. its abandonment of plot and storytelling conventions as it goes from one point to the next at breakneck speed; its cheerful bastardisation of iconic storylines from the comics; the ‘as-you-know-bob’ clunky exposition on one end and extremely restrained, subtle explorations of complex character dynamics on the other; endless shots of neon bleeding into black and blue corridors, shadows and silhouettes; my delight in seeing it celebrate and deconstruct the dark nolan-y batman aesthetic at the same time; my bafflement that it’s so fucking goddamn obsessed with the batfam when it’s supposed to be about the TITANS; kory just... saving every overburdened, clunky scene that she’s in by her sparkling charisma. just... *chef’s kiss*. muah. my show is back, in all its glory.

MY SHOW IS BACK, Y’ALL!

1.5. i mean... this show is so artful and weird and not afraid to go absolutely bonkers in exploring its characters’ psyche, but can just about barely stage a passable comic book fight when every tom dick and harry and their new streaming services can deliver ones that are far more exciting. i love this show with every atom of my body.

(there’s something to be said about rooting for the underdog as well. a pleasure in finding something to love about what other people dismiss. but! enough navel gazing! i have fictional characters’ navels to look at! metaphorically! and maybe literally!)

2. i expected jason’s death to come about pretty early in the season as soon as i heard rumours that red hood was showing up, but for it to happen in the first five minutes of the first episode... that’s a record. 

(well. “happen.” still don’t know what exactly went down there.)

2.25. GOD. jason is such a tortured and tragic character in this show, used and passed around by people with alleged good intentions, never really fitting in anywhere. he’s veritably bleeding vulnerability and the need to belong, the need to be known, and yet the tragedy is that his death proves that nobody in his life knew anything about him at all; that they only saw the flimsy walls he put up to protect his soft core, and thought that that was all there was. that they say they loved him, but blame him for his own death. 

dick is flabbergasted that jason can read, though we know from last season, from what jason revealed to rose, that he has a love for plays and music. barbara is quick to dismiss his actions as ‘impulsive’. bruce has no idea that his supposed son was building his own little chemistry lab right under his nose, and beyond that, no idea that jason needed structure, stability and validation beyond being left alone in a huge house with a treasure trove of dangerous weapons. kory thought his decision to fight the joker was from not learning and growing when the guy tried to kill himself last season and nobody apart from dick even tried to talk to him about it! did you consider that he might still be suicidal? especially after the titans admitted to having “given up” on him because he was just “too hard”?

2.5. the one thing that’s been consistent across all three seasons (so far) of the show is the unreliable narrator trope. there’s a reason why the characters’ dismissals of jason’s actions as impulsive is so repetitive; why jason’s death is a mystery dick feels compelled to solve. it’s a flailing attempt to know his brother much too late--but with red hood, maybe he gets a second chance, just like he got one with the titans. this is what jason’s arc has been building up to. this is ‘death in the family’ but more fucked up in some ways. it didn’t linger on the death because the death wasn’t the point. the joker isn’t the point. everything that came before it is.

this way it will also make perfect sense that the red hood’s main enemy becomes the titans rather than batman.

2.75. goodness knows what’s going on with jason’s little chemistry project. at first i thought he was immunising himself to joker gas or something, but maybe it’s what passes for lazarus pit juice in this universe? 

anyway, it’s pretty impressive that jason learnt all of that from a college chemistry textbook. STOP BRINGING UP THAT HE READ SOMETHING, DICK--

2.8. i’m glad that dick doesn’t immediately sink into self-loathing and guilt and tries to investigate jason’s death while also acknowledging how he failed him. it’s like he actually learned something from the last two years! 

anyway. more about dick later. 

3. oh how i love titans!bruce. a lot of characters had a lot of Opinions on his reaction to jason’s death in this episode, but again, i ask you to consider that they’re unreliable narrators, and this universe’s bruce is a product of how it shaped him. bruce wayne has become a phantom to himself--an artifice borne out of vigorous discipline and crushing self-denial. 

bruce has been batman for a very long time, and without a robin for much longer. (dick must be... in his early thirties? so he was robin for about, say, 10-12 years according to the timeline of the show. that still makes bruce pretty old when he took on his first robin.) things have... calcified (possibly parts of his brain). the personal cost and the collateral from the mission he’s taken up for most of his life is too much to countenance; it has to be a war, and war requires sacrifice. 

on some level bruce knows that’s a lie. he’s so goddamned alone. what’s he going to do? sit down and cry? who’s going to listen to him now? oh, is he going to just stop being batman? who’s going to stop gotham from consuming herself then? he’ll just have to forge ahead, do better next time, maybe he’ll be firmer with them, or kinder with them, or notice more things, or train them harder, or spend more time--

3.25. don’t get me wrong: titans!bruce is an asshole and a half. his roster of potential robins was honestly bone-chilling. the fact that there’s a twisted root of compassion makes it more disturbing. 

3.5. alfred’s dead! it must’ve been pretty recent, because i could’ve sworn that dick tried to call alfred in the very first episode of season 1, or at least considered calling him... 

what a devastating double-blow for bruce then, losing his father-figure and his, uh.... son-figure so close together.

4. i don’t know about barbara yet. i mean, i like her, but she had so much clunky expository dialogue to deliver this episode, and for an episode that was named after her, she only showed up halfway through it. but i like the weight of history behind her interactions with both bruce and dick and her compassion to bruce before he cruelly crossed a line. i also like the implication that she and dick have been in touch recently, and that she didn’t immediately try to guilt-trip dick about some perceived abandonment. it’d be too repetitive.

4.5. there’s also a sense that she ran interference for dick a lot whenever there was something Too Big and Emotional for him to confront directly, and i like and appreciate that character beat.

5. dick, my man! it really does feel like a substantial length of time has passed between the end of s2 and the beginning of s3... kory’s got a new costume, they’ve become celebrities in SF, working missions together, and dick’s actually smiling! genuinely enjoying his work and having fun with it for possibly the first time in the entire series! it’s really a far cry from the fractured, dysfunctional mess that they were at the end of the last season.

i just hope this doesn’t mean that they’ve magically reached a resolution off-screen to all of their fucked-upness from last season, and that the repercussions--for gar in particular--are actually addressed on screen. 

5.25. i mentioned this briefly above, but it really is so refreshing that dick doesn’t wallow in guilt and self-loathing after jason’s death; he acknowledges his and the titans’ failure, is able to admit to barbara honestly that he’s not doing great, and is actively trying to reach out to bruce to make sure he’s ok, is trying to investigate what made jason seek out the joker on his own, and is probably the only person not immediately buying that it was jason’s recklessness that got him killed. i love that dick is finally beginning to trust his instincts or just employ them at all after years of guilt and paranoia and self-loathing. we love some positive character growth!

5.5. another thing i love? the bruce-dick interactions on this show. every scene they’re in together is so fraught with tension, both of them holding themselves back, their emotions on a whipcord-tight leash. dick wants to reach out to bruce, is even somewhat familiar with this brand of denial in the wake of grief, but wants barbara to make the first move because he genuinely does not know how to get bruce to open up. his instincts are right, and wonderful, and genuine, but his expression has been smothered by years of trauma, emotional and physical self-discipline, and what i suspect is poorly treated mental illness. 

it takes a lot for him to finally explode at bruce at the end of the episode--in a way he hasn’t done even when his only opinion of bruce was ‘fuck him’--and it’s all the more startling for how subdued he’s been through the episode, how much he’s been holding back his emotions for bruce’s sake. love it.

5.75. it sort of hurts my heart to see the flying graysons poster in jason’s room. there are a few implications:

a) jason settled into dick’s old room despite living in a giant mansion with dozens of other rooms he could’ve used

b) he didn’t take down dick’s poster--not when he moved in and was idolising him, not when he moved out of the titans and was sort of hating him. i wonder if the reminder of what dick was before robin--that he was forged out of unspeakable tragedy--gave jason the connection to dick that he so desperately wanted in real life

c) dick moved right back into the room and slept on the bed that was now jason’s. grief can be so quiet and piecemeal sometimes.

6. i spy the beginnings of actual arcs for both gar and kory! i just hope that with the move to gotham their stories don’t fall to the wayside...

6.5. i’ve known tim drake for less than ten minutes but if anything were to happen to him i’d kill everybody 

7. this review has gone on for too long and i am tiRED. however, before i leave: i miss some of the dedication-to-aesthetic that titans season 1 used to have. remember how the first few episodes didn’t really feel like a superhero show but something out of gothic horror? there was something gorgeous and raw about that, about open landscapes and the road and creepy buildings looming up at the end of it. moving to titans tower in s2 really ruined a lot of that for me, given its ripped-from-architectural-digest aesthetic, all smooth and clean and artificial. 

i hope that we really explore gotham’s hellscape in interesting and innovative ways instead of camping out in the batcave all the time and indulging in the show’s unending love for long corridors, neon backlights and silhouettes.

8.....

9.  wait, fuck, HOW CAN I FORGET ABOUT HOT PSYCHIATRIST GUY (TM)??? NONE of you prepared me for his return! NONE OF YOU! i gasped! i got up and did a happy dance! 

listen, titans writers, if you’ve had a peek at my titans s3 wishlist, please go ahead and give the other items on the list a go too, thankyouverymuch.

[nightglider124]

RobStar Week 2020: Day 1

Tis RobStar Week, guysss! Ugh. Yas. That means content for the week of my two disgustingly adorable children. We love to see it. 

I do believe it runs from 5th July - 11th July so check the robstarweek tag each day for some robstar joy :3

So, I haven’t written anything really for a while. Especially not based in the TTA universe. But, I’m mildly happy with this one. In theory, it doesn’t actually have much of the kids but it has Robin talking bout his crush with Wally. 

Confession... I don’t love the prompt of destiny/fate/star-aligned... all of that. Idk why cos like in essence I believe it. My babies are destined for each other. Buuut, as a prompt, I just never am a fan. So, I tried my best, I swear! XD

This oneshot is set after ‘Titans Together’ but before the movie, ‘Trouble In Tokyo’.

Uh, I know Robin talks about when Starfire kissed him and I know that he doesn’t discover that she learns languages through lip contact until the movie but like... c’mon. Robin is a smart guy and would have thought about it in the time since they first met. I don’t think he would bring it up cos he awks but I think he would put two and two together. So, when it’s mentioned, he is just kinda speculating and then it’s confirmed in the movie. That’s how I’m viewing it anyway. XD

Hope you like it. Happy RobStar week! ^.^

________________________

Star-Aligned/Destiny

The upbeat music drifted and pounded around the whole tower, with the epicentre of the noise coming from the main room, which was fairly packed with Titans from all across the globe, enjoying their Friday night. 

It had been about a week since they’d taken down the Brotherhood of Evil and put all the criminals that had been affiliated back in their rightful places within penitentiaries across the world. The ordeal had been difficult on each and every one of the Titans and it had taken a lot of time and energy to ensure that the threat was dealt with and the Brotherhood were dismantled for good. 

So, when Beast Boy and Cyborg had approached him about having a party to relax and say thanks to the whole Titans Network for their help in defeating the long standing villains, Robin had been reluctant to say no. He felt that a little fun was well deserved and decided it wasn’t often that they all let loose and just got to act like normal young adults, even if it was only for one night.

He felt good as he sat at the counter, dressed in civvies for the first time in a long time, with a glass of cold soda tantalizing his lips. He knew that some of the boys had snuck in a bit of alcohol and since all of the Titans were technically 18 and over, they were legally allowed to drink in private locations, according to Jump City law. So, he was letting it slide, but that didn’t mean he was about to consume it himself. Robin was all for unwinding but… he still had his wits about him, just in case any alerts came through.

Of course, in the morning, there were a few individuals who he wanted a word with regarding how they purchased the alcohol but he resigned himself to waiting until tomorrow, rather than putting his leader head on right now.

Robin cocked a small smile as he scanned the room from behind the safety net of his mask. He may well have been in casual clothing but the mask always stayed put; an unkickable habit of his, he mused.

Cyborg was over by the sound system, setting up playlists upon playlists with Bumblebee at his side, helping to sort through the music. He could see from where he was perched, every time she saw a song that she clearly didn’t like, she would delete it from the playlist when Cyborg wasn’t looking. It’d provided Robin a good few laughs throughout the night to see his cybernetic friend become confused, scratching his head and wondering if he had had too much to drink, despite only really having about one beer.

Beast Boy was lounging on the sofa, game station controller in hand; his gleeful chuckle echoing every now and then as he challenged those around him to a racing game that he’d practically lived on for the better part of the past year. Herald, Hot Spot and Killowat were huddled around him, each trying to gain the upper hand on the changeling who had won the 4 games prior to the current round. 

Robin turned his head, noticing Red Star was talking with Aqualad, Pantha and Argent over near the windows with all of them holding a beverage each and laughing, getting to know one another better since they were all teammates and they’d never really had a chance to interact with one another until now. Robin saw tonight as a good opportunity for the Titans Network to get a little more acquainted with one another so that they had a good roster of friends and colleagues for future events and missions, if necessary.

Directly ahead of him, Gnarrk and Wildebeest were sat at the table, conducting an arm wrestle to see who had the superior strength with smirks so smug that Robin could feel the bravado permeating the air around them. Kole was standing by her best friend’s side, offering quiet encouragement; believing in his abilities wholeheartedly. She smiled as Jericho turned to her, seemingly signing to her, his faith in Gnarrk to win as well; a gesture that made Kole turn a rosy pink and Robin couldn’t help but wonder if there was a bit of a connection brewing between the two.

Behind Wildebeest, Thunder and Lightning were cheering loudly, waving their hands and hooting in favour of the humanoid chimera who simply grunted in acknowledgement of their vocal support. 

Robin chuckled quietly to himself and took a sip of his drink, minutely shaking his head as he inwardly wagered on who he thought was more likely to come out on top of said arm wrestle. 

In the right hand corner of the room, Robin could see Jinx who looked less than thrilled as she was effectively sandwiched between Kid Flash and Mas Y Menos who were, by the looks of it, having a lengthy debate about who had the faster abilities. 

Scrunching his face up, Robin took a moment to consider how that conversation was going considering he knew for a fact Wally didn’t know much Spanish, if any at all. 

He shook his head and his eyes travelled over Speedy and Bushido who seemed to be talking and sharing fighting tips, with Speedy making gestures with his hands to explain the types of arrows he used when he battled.

Robin sighed in content, happy for the warm atmosphere surrounding them all. When he’d first started recruiting the people in the room to be a part of their hero network, he hadn’t even considered what it would mean for them to gel together but every single Titan in the tower had proved that they could work effectively with one another, without really even knowing much about those around them.

He was proud of his teammates and friends and he felt confident that if more threats on a larger scale were to ever crop up in the near future, then they would be prepared and ready with a strong force in place. 

Tapping his fingertips against the side of his glass, a lingering silver laugh caused him to pause; a tingle descending down his spine with a simultaneous heat prickling his skin. He lifted his head and his gaze inadvertently fell upon Starfire who was sitting on the back of the sofa, her long legs dangling down with her ankles crossed over one another. 

Her hands were clasped and in her lap as she talked animatedly with Raven, who in turn, was responding in her usual way of nods and small smiles, only speaking here and there. 

Robin gripped his glass a little tighter as he watched the alien Princess shrug her gorgeous mane of ruby hair over her shoulder, pooling down the length of her back. 

It had been futile to try and ignore how she looked tonight with Robin deciding how well Earth clothing suited her. She wore a lilac playsuit with a white floral pattern printed all over the fabric. The spaghetti straps of the garment fell perfectly on her shoulders with the rest of it hugging her body comfortably without being too tight or loose enough not to flatter her.

Although, Robin rebuffed that thought immediately. She could wear a trash bag and she’d still make it look amazing.

It was a short faux dress outfit but it was far from distasteful considering it was longer than her day to day uniform. The light frills at the hem were a nice touch, giving the illusion of it being a dress when in fact it wasn’t.

All in all, Robin had a tough time keeping his eyes off of her and it had been that way since the party started earlier in the evening.

He exhaled quietly to himself as he lost in himself in a momentary trance, with Starfire being the pinnacle of it all. Every single thing she did was endearing and he finally understood what people meant whenever they would compare a person to that of sunlight.

Starfire was the epitome of a ray of sunshine; constantly smiling and being her bubbly self, no matter who she was around. She could be around the grouchiest person in the universe and she’d still be able to coax a grin from them, without so much as even trying to. 

She was just so naturally inviting; like moths to a flame, Starfire was a friend to all and he could honestly admit that he had never met someone as kind and carefree as her which in his eyes was what made her so unique within their world of heroes. 

Robin stared after her, watching the way her jade eyes would shimmer whenever Raven said something remotely funny or something that Starfire could relate to. Her orange skin seemed to glow with every thousand watt smile that found its way onto her cupid bow lips. 

Just beneath his rib cage, Robin felt his heart rate start to increase; a quiet thumping of his chest, the longer he stared after her. 

Swallowing heavily, Robin averted his eyes, instead choosing to stare down at his bubbling soda. Despite this, his mind remained rooted on the one thing in the room he took the most interest in. He couldn’t help but inwardly dwell on his feelings for the Tamaranean girl, no matter how hard he had tried over the years to refuse and deny what his heart had been singing all along, since she first crash landed on the planet they called home.

It was a constant struggle for him; trying to figure out if it would be worth the risk or if he should remain stoic and unfeeling like another vigilante he was familiar with.

A sudden gust of wind enveloped him, causing his hair to rapidly fly out of place. Staying still, Robin merely sighed and blinked in annoyance, already aware of who was now leaning against the counter beside him.

“Wally…” Robin muttered, reaching a hand up to sort his hair out, casting a scowl in the speedster’s direction.

Kid Flash chuckled and pulled up a seat beside him and nudged his shoulder, “Hey Dick.” 

“Do you have to do that every single time?” 

“Duh. Think of it as… a privilege of being best friends.” 

“Pretty lousy privilege.”

He made a ‘psh’ sound and gave him another shove, “You get what ya get.” 

“Uh huh.” Robin replied, leaning forward to take a swig of his drink, feeling the cold liquid slither down his throat. Despite his best efforts to stay inconspicuous, he was unable to stop himself from stealing another glance at Starfire who had moved from her spot on the back of the couch with Raven.

She was giggling with Bumblebee and Argent, swaying her hips and dancing to the music that was swirling in the air; a catchy beat that seemed to be luring quite a few Titans into dancing now.

He could feel his face heating up as he registered that Wally was staring at him with a teasing smirk laced upon his lips. He cut him a scathing look and attempted his best batglare, making Wally snort.

“C’mon. When has that look ever worked to make me stop?” He laughed, taking a gulp of the beer he was holding,

Robin took a deep breath, awaiting the onslaught of jabs. He’d known Wally for most of his life, ever since he’d gotten adopted by Bruce on account of his links with the league.

It’d taken just one encounter with the redhead on a visit to the watchtower and they’d been inseparable. 

Of course, that changed somewhat after he left Gotham; the communication dropping with Robin being more so to blame, after effectively shutting those around him out. 

It picked up again though, once he had become more established with the Titans, going as far to offer him a spot on the team. Wally had declined at first, unsure how he felt about being with a team but after a while, he came around. 

It helped that he happened to run into Jinx whilst he was still mulling over the decision.

Robin sighed and half turned his body towards him, “What are you doing over here?” 

“Just wanting to catch up with my bud… obviously.” Wally replied, trying to appear aloof but failing miserably,

Leaning back, Robin spied Jinx still standing where Wally had been beforehand, staring at the twins in bewilderment as they babbled to her in Spanish.

“You know, you’ve basically abandoned Jinx.” Robin muttered,

There was a mischievous glint in his lime eyes as he waved a dismissive hand, “Bah, she’s fine. She needs to socialise with good guys more anyway. Needs to build on her newfound hero ways.” 

Robin shrugged and tilted his chin downwards, eyes on the counter top to avoid any more fleeting glances at anyone in particular. 

“So…” Wally drawled, in that tone.

Sighing heavily, Robin looked up at him, “What?”

“Star’s looking hot tonight.” He taunted and it took everything Robin had not to react in the way Wally clearly wanted him to,

“Mhm. She looks great.” Robin mumbled, not really in the mood for this kind of conversation. He had been feeling pretty mellow but he could sense that slipping away and being sent spiralling into the mess of emotions he experienced from time to time where Starfire was concerned.

“Dick… c’mon.” Wally persisted, levelling with him, “Your crush on her isn’t exactly subtle.”

“Well… she doesn’t know so it seems to be working so far.” 

Wally snorted, “To practically everyone else, it’s obvious that something is going on.” 

Dick took a deep inhale and gripped his glass with both hands, preparing himself for more of Wally’s insistence, “Well, there’s not. Sorry to disappoint.” 

“Dude.” He paused and leaned into him, his tone shifting into a more sincere one, “Maybe there would be something if… y’know… you made a move on the ol’ Princess?” 

Whilst it was in his nature to deflect anything to do with feelings; especially romantic ones, at all costs, there was something gnawing at him; encouraging him to open up a bit. It was Wally, after all.

“I can’t.” Dick sighed, loosening the grip of his fingers around the glass,

“Sure you can. Just get up, go over there and ask her to dance or… I don’t know, smooth talk her.” Wally suggested,

“No… I mean… I can’t. I’m the leader of the Titans… Bruce always taught me not to get involved that way with a teammate. It causes rifts in team dynamics and-”

Wally cut him off with a scoff, “Who cares? If you feel that way about her, which you obviously do, you deal with those kinds of things and work it out as you go along.” 

Dick sighed for what felt like the hundredth time in the past 10 minutes, “It doesn’t matter.”

Sensing that he was retreating into himself again, Wally tried an alternate route, “You know… with all the doe eyes you make at her, you never told me how you actually met.” 

Without really even being aware of it, a soft smile graced Dick’s lips, “Uh… I’d just got to Jump and was dealing with this thief and saw this… streak of green across the sky. I went to check it out and turns out, she’d quite literally crash landed to Earth.” 

“That must’ve been so cool, man.” Wally laughed,

Dick inclined his head a little, “It was… different to anything I’d had in Gotham.”

“Yeah, but Starfire is… sweetness and joy.”

The ebony haired hero chuckled to himself, “Uh… not at first. She…” He paused and glanced at her, gauging just how much he should leave out about where she came from on that day, “She was… being held prisoner by these aliens… Gordanians are what they were called. Long running warfare between them and Tamaran and… a few other planets.”

“Prisoner?” Wally queried, clearly vying for more information,

“Let’s just say… she was forced from her world and it… wasn’t because of any crimes.” 

Wally stared at him for a long moment before something softened in his expression and he nodded, “So… what was she like?” 

“As you can imagine… she didn’t trust any of us. Hissing and seething and blowing shit up.” 

“Badass.” Wally grinned,

Dick chuckled, “Yeah… she didn’t know English either so… couldn’t exactly explain to her that we just wanted her to stop.”

“How’d she get so fluent in the language then?” 

His cheeks turned red almost instantly and he cleared his throat, willing the blush to dim until it vanished, “Her people can learn languages instantaneously through uh… lip contact. I think.”

“You think?”

“Well… after she… did it… um… she spoke English… so I just assume…”

Wally blinked in surprise, “Wow. That’s a useful trait-” He cut himself short as he recognized the discomfort on his best friend’s face, “Oh my god. She learned it from you, didn’t she? You got a kiss from her on the first day you met her!” 

Dick snapped his head in Wally’s direction, “Can you shut up, please? We’ve… never talked about it. Kissing isn’t a thing on her world… and I never brought it up.”

“She knows what ‘lip contact’ means on Earth though, right?”

“She knows now… I mean she must know, considering how many romance movies we’ve sat through on movie nights.” Dick shook his head, “Like I said… we’ve never talked about it so… I don’t know what she thinks on that front.”

Wally chuckled, “No wonder you’ve been smitten with her since day one. I would be too if a hot space girl kissed me in the middle of telling her to stop ripping a city apart.” 

Dick was about to protest, but relaxed and smirked, “Yeah… well… she made an impression, to say the least.”

“Sounds like… Mm… I don’t know.”

“What?” Dick prompted,

“You’ll just wave it off but… I mean… maybe it was meant to be.”

“What are you talking about?”

“People who are meant to be in your life don’t just fall out of the sky on a day to day basis, Dick.” Wally droned, looking at him like he was an idiot,

The Boy Wonder chewed on the inside of his cheek; his mind a bubble of thought, “It’s… not the craziest thing.” He paused and looked at her again, still dancing around without a care in the world, “She brought us together… we know for a fact… she’s the glue that keeps us together; the heart of our team… without her… we wouldn’t last.”

“See? That, my friend, is fate.” Wally surmised,

“I don’t know about that, Wally. It… just so happened we were all in the area at the same time.” Dick rebuffed,

“Listen… whether you want to admit it or not… don’t you think it seems a little too coincidental that you all met Starfire on this one day and it basically set out your futures for the next few years at the least?” Wally asked, raising an eyebrow at him,

“Okay, fine. Let’s say that it is… fate or whatever… are you saying that the same applies to how I feel about her?” He challenged,

Wally scoffed and flailed his hands around slightly, “Duh! I’m telling you, there is no way that you ‘just so happened’ to meet Starfire and your team, start a network of teenage heroes that extends across the world and end up falling for the one who caused this… cataclysm… just by chance. It just doesn’t happen.”

Remaining silent, Dick felt the urge to mock him ebbing away, the more he tried to reason with him.

He was probably the furthest thing from a believer when it came to things such as fate and destiny, having turned cynical shortly after his parents were murdered.

By Wally’s logic, everything in life happened for a reason, with the goal of eventually fulfilling the path set out in stone for you when you’re first brought into existence.

“Wally…”

“The universe didn’t exactly have you meet her to just be ‘best friends’ for your whole life. You wouldn’t stare at her or think about her or want her the way you do, if it wasn’t supposed to happen dude.” 

Dick blinked, “This is the most philosophical way of telling me to make a move that you have ever used.”

Bursting into laughter, Wally lifted his shoulders and smiled, “Yeah, you’re probably right. But you know what I’m saying, at least on some level, makes sense.”

The Titans leader evaded admitting something like that, “Mm… what I know is that you’re only spewing destiny related stuff because of one beer too many.”

Wally looked scandalised for a long moment before he shrugged, “Okay, I might be a tad tipsy but it’s still relevant, Dick.” He sighed and threw an arm haphazardly around his best friend’s shoulders, “I’m trying to push you… for you. Whether you wanna believe me when I say it’s some kinda fate or not, the fact is… you can’t expect her to wait forever.”

Tugging himself away, Dick pulled a sour expression and turned to him, “And what if I do and it blows up in my face, huh? What if I go over there and ask her out and she says no?” He deflated and looked down at the counter top, “I doubt she sees me that way anyway so what’s the point?” 

Chuckling almost instantly, Wally rolled his eyes and looked at Dick with a raised brow, “Seriously? Dude, I’m not even on your immediate team and I can see that she likes you just as much as you like her.”

Dick cleared his throat, his cheeks turning pink on their own accord, “You don’t know that for sure.”

“Okay well, it comes across pretty clearly except to you, apparently.” Wally paused, “Besides, aren’t you basically our biggest risk taker? You love that whole thrill of not knowing.” 

Dick grunted, “Not on this kind of thing.” 

“Right, right because it makes you all vulnerable and junk.” Wally drawled, earning another glare from the masked hero but choosing to ignore it, “Dick… I can’t make you do anything you don’t want to. I don’t think anyone can since you’re stubborn as hell. But… just remember… Starfire is beautiful and super sweet. You’re not the only guy in this hero network that thinks so… and if you don’t move your ass and at least make it known to her you’re interested… you might lose your chance altogether.” 

Opening his mouth to protest, Dick was cut short from doing so as Wally lightly nudged his shoulder and stared pointedly across the room, waiting for Dick to follow his line of sight as well.

Over near the large glass window panels, Starfire was standing, looking happily flushed from all the activity buzzing around her; something she constantly thrived on whenever parties were in full swing. Her smile was soft and patient as she bobbed her head, laughing at what was being said to her. 

Dick felt his stomach lurch and his heart started pounding painfully  within his chest as he noticed who was standing alongside her. Speedy was grinning at her, talking and making jokes about god knows what. He watched as the archer took a step towards her and gently touched her arm. 

Starfire appeared unbothered by the gestures but it greatly unnerved Dick, considering he could tell from Speedy’s posture that he was attempting to ‘woo’ her.

He bolted up from the stool he’d been sitting on at the counter, his fingertips pressing against the surface of it so hard, they were turning white. He could feel his chest constricting as his breathing turned harsh, an odd type of panic overtaking him.

“Hm… strange reaction for someone who doesn’t have feelings for her…” Wally murmured sarcastically before taking a long sip of his beer,

Narrowing his eyes, Dick turned to scowl at him, “How long has he been talking to her?” 

“Only about 2 minutes. Though… he sure looks like he’s getting comfy with your girl there…” 

Taking a deep breath, Dick let his hand slide off of the counter and he cleared his throat. He felt nervous but there was a knee jerk reaction in him that was yelling to get over there and interrupt Speedy’s attempts at romancing his best friend.

His gaze fell on Starfire who seemed oblivious to the obvious signals Speedy was sending towards her. Dick cocked a half smile, glad that she wasn’t playing into it. It gave him a rise of hope that maybe she wasn’t responding like a typical girl because she already had feelings for another guy that was possibly him. Maybe.

“What… what should I do when I get over there?” Dick queried, suddenly feeling the confidence drain from him,

“I don’t know. Ask her to dance?” Wally smiled sympathetically at him, “Dick… it’s Starfire. Isn’t she like… the one who makes you feel the most at ease?”

Dick swiveled his head back towards the auburn haired beauty, “She is.”

“Then it’ll be fine once you get over there.” Wally encouraged, tipping his beer bottle in his direction,

Nodding, Dick offered him a slight smile, “Thanks… Wally.”

“You know me, man. I’m a man of loveee.” 

Dick sighed, “And there’s the idiot.”

With that, he picked up his soda and made his way through the strings of Titans as casually as he could, without appearing as though he was desperately wanting to get between that tiny space that was still between Speedy and Starfire.

Watching through bright eyes, Wally smiled to himself as Dick reached the two. Speedy looked to be quite put out about his appearance but the speedster wasn’t paying much attention to him.

Rather, all he could see was the way Starfire lit up at Robin’s emergence. Her smile stretched from ear to ear, her emerald eyes shining with joy as she clasped her hands around his upper arm in an exuberant greeting. 

In return, Dick grinned back at her, talking with ease and a relaxed aura about him. Speedy looked effectively closed off and shut down, which if it were any other girl, Wally would feel pretty bad for him.

But, he knew how long Dick had had a thing for the alien Princess. He just hoped he would actually get it together and do something about it before it was too late.

“Well done, Grayson.” Wally chuckled to himself, before taking another sip of his drink and scanning the room for a certain pink haired sorceress.

[siren-queen-imagines]

I’m Not The Only One

Went through the Wayback Machine to find old imagines I wrote when I was imaginingwwesuperstars! This is the last wrestling related imagine fic I am posting for now (see pinned post on blog). I hope you enjoy!

This was based on Sam Smith’s song and music video! Be prepared for some bad guy Finn!

Masterlist

You and me, we made a vow

For better or for worse

I can’t believe you let me down

But the proof’s in the way it hurts

You had been married to Finn Balor for the last 5 years. Finn is currently a WWE Superstar and lives on the road majority of the year. Seeing as you’re a nurse, your job requires you to stay in one place. Finn’s been kind enough to bring you on the road with him when your job would permit it. You two enjoyed those times considering you only saw each other maybe 2 or 3 days a week in person.

Just last month, you had learned that Finn had been cheating on you. You were lying in bed while he was in the shower when you heard his phone jingle, signaling a text message: I miss you, babe. Can’t wait to see you again. And sent along with the text was a picture of the woman’s breasts.

The usual questions went through your mind: how could he do this to you? WHY would he do this to you? If he wasn’t happy, why didn’t he bother to say anything? You two had a very healthy and active sex life, is that not enough for him?

You had looked back at who could’ve sent it…but it was an unknown number. You had to give it to Finn…he knew how to cover his tracks. Apparently with texts like that, he knew who it was. Who else would be sending him texts like that if it’s not you?

Finn made you believe that he wasn’t capable of doing this before he proposed to you. You went into this marriage, believing that something like this wouldn’t happen to you guys. But here you were…how could he betray your trust like this? He married you, he promised to love you and made all these vows…and he broke them along with your heart.

You never believed in a million years that your husband would hurt you the way he has…it felt like he ripped your heart out from your chest, stomped on it and threw it into a roaring fire. It fucking hurt like hell.

You remembered getting the hell out of there. You took your keys and got into the car, driving to the middle of nowhere before you broke down into tears. You didn’t want Finn to see you cry, you felt that he didn’t deserve that.

For months on end I’ve had my doubts

Denying every tear

I wish this would be over now

But I know that I still need you here

Here you are now, one month later. Still with Finn.

Previously you had your suspicions over the past few months. And just as recent as the day before you even asked Finn about it, telling him to be honest because you needed to know. You promised him that you wouldn’t get mad and that if he was cheating on you, you would be okay with a divorce because clearly he wasn’t happy in this marriage anymore…he wouldn’t cheat on you if he was happy right?

“Y/N, come on, you’re being crazy.” Finn lightly teased, kneeling in front of you as you sat in your chair. He took your hands in his and gently rubbed his thumbs over the backs of your hands as a way of comfort. “I would never cheat on you. Ever. I love you too much to even think about being with another woman.”

Liar. Fucking Liar.

“If you did, you would tell me, right?”

“Of course, love. I couldn’t hide something like that from you.”

Liar, liar, pants on fucking fire. Why does he keep lying to you…but then again, you aren’t any better because you aren’t calling him out on it.

You knew he was cheating on you…why haven’t you done anything about it? It’s been a fucking month already…what’s the hold up? You know that you should confront him. You know that you should be crying, screaming and yelling at him, demanding answers. You know that you should be in the process of dissolving your marriage.

But you aren’t…and why is that?

You love him. Despite the fact that he continues to hurt you, you still love him. A huge part of you can’t let him go.

So what have you decided to do?

Go on about your life with Finn, putting on a front that you don’t know about what he’s been doing behind your back…what he will continue to do behind your back. You don’t want him to know that you know because that could be the end of you and him…you loved him way too much for it to end now.

You know you deserve better. But you didn’t know how to let him go…you were in too deep. All you wanted was for him to be with you and only you…you knew it wasn’t too much to ask, he did agree to it after all by marrying you…but again, why did you love him so much that you had a hard time in letting him go? Why did you feel so weak to dump him?

You say I’m crazy

Cause you don’t think I know what you’ve done

But when you call me baby

I know I’m not the only one

You couldn’t help but think back on yesterday. You and Finn had such an amazing day. It was a day off and he decided to take you to Disney World. Although, there was one moment in that day he checked his phone and replied to texts with a smile on his face.

“Who is that?” You asked as you guys walked, your smile slowly faded when he took a second to reply.

“Oh it’s just work.” Finn replied before locking his phone and putting it back in his pocket.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, of course. I was just told that I’d have to leave a little early this week for a signing.”

You knew who he was really texting as you had subtly peered over towards his phone. He was texting her. You had still yet to find out who she was…but you had caught the number and managed to store it in your phone…it was easy considering that Finn was distracted by his own phone.

“Oh, okay.” You said with a nod, holding back your tears.

“I know, I’m sorry.” Finn said, stopping you and grabbing your hands. “I know things haven’t been easy since I was promoted to the main roster. But I promise you that I’ll make it up to you somehow.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded, offering him a small smile.

“I love you, Y/N. Nothing will ever change that. I swear I’ll make it up to you.” Finn continued.

“Okay. I love you too.” You smiled to hide the pain you felt deep in your heart.

Finn pulled you into his arms and kissed the top of your head. He held you for a few long moments before pulling away. He gently cupped you face and wiped your tears away from your cheeks with your thumb. He leaned forward once more to kiss your forehead, offering you a comforting smile.

“How about we sit for a bit and then go on Space Mountain?” Finn suggested, his comforting smile on his face.

=================================

Your eyes closed as Finn slowly thrust into you. You felt him bury his face in your neck as his hips moved against yours, your nails gently digging into his back.

Sex had been a little different for you since you found out about Finn’s affair. There were times where it wasn’t the same to you when you made love. But when you fucked, you always felt that you had something to prove…to prove to him that you have everything he needs here at home; that he doesn’t need to go anywhere else. But you tried anyway…you tried for…honestly, you weren’t too sure why you were trying.

“Feels so good, baby.” Finn breathed into your neck as he picked up his speed.

Baby…that was another thing that was different for you. Whenever he used to call you baby, you liked it because you were the only one he would call that…but now knowing that he had someone else on the side…how many times had he called her baby? Did he ever do it when they had sex? Who were you kidding, of course he did. It was Finn…he called you that almost always and most likely her too.

=================================

Now here you are pacing back and forth in the living room, phone in your hand. You were trying to decide if you should call the number Finn was texting. You had the number ready and had your number blocked…now all you had to do was hit that green call button.

Did you even want to know who it was? Would it make anything better? Well, most likely it would make things worse….especially if you knew who it was.

Dammit, you have to know…you needed to know who your husband was currently running to.

You pressed the call button and brought the phone to your ear. You heard the other line ringing when you heard a cheerful voice.

“Finn, I told you that it was room 208.” The Irish toned voice said. You could sense a smile by her happy tone. ”Hello?” She said when you hadn’t spoken.

You immediately hung up the phone when you recognized the voice.

Becky Lynch.

A sob escaped you as you realized that your friend was the one sleeping with your husband.

You’ve been so unavailable

Now sadly I know why

Your heart is unobtainable

Even though, lord knows you kept mine

Becky cried out as Finn brought her to orgasm. She worked to catch her breath as Finn pulled out, removed his condom and finished on her stomach. Sometimes Becky found herself wishing that he would go without the protection…feel all of him without anything between them and then finish inside her…most likely the way he does with Y/N. It’s not like she isn’t on the pill or can’t go get the morning after pill to be safe. Just once, she wanted to feel like Finn loved her the way he loved Y/N.

She remembered asking once when they had started their affair if Finn uses protection when he’s with Y/N. He sort of blew off her question and at the time, she didn’t think much of it. Time went on, of course, and it had begun to bother her…why couldn’t he treat her the way he treats Y/N, especially in bed?

Finn rolled off Becky before getting up from the bed. Becky sighed and looked over to see Finn walk into the bathroom to take care of the condom. She leaned off the side of the bed and put her shirt back on before laying back down. Finn came back out and put his briefs back on before getting back into the bed. Becky watched as he got settled in before turning to face him, moving closer to him.

“Sorry Becky, but I don’t really want to cuddle.” Finn said, stopping Becky from getting any closer.

“You mean with me?” Becky replied, feeling a little irritated. “I’m good enough to fuck but not cuddle with?”

“It has nothing to do with that. I don’t cuddle with my wife, either, it’s just a thing.”

Liar…he’s a liar. She knows he cuddles with you. She remembered talking about cuddling with you once and even mentioned that she enjoyed a good cuddle after sex. You agreed, mentioning that Finn was the same way. But Becky decided to let it go.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, sure.” Finn replied, his eyes closed.

“Does Y/N make you use protection with her?”

Finn’s eyes opened and his eyebrows furrowed.

“Why?”

“Just curious. I mean, it’d be kind of messed up to sleep with me and not offer her the same courtesy to wear protection.”

Finn paused for a moment and sighed, closing his eyes once more.

“No. And it’s not messed up. I wear protection with you because I have enough respect for my wife not to get you pregnant. That’s the last thing both of us need right now, hm?”

Becky knew what this ‘relationship’ was. She knew it was just something for Finn to have while he was away from Y/N…but it had gone on longer than even Becky expected. It’s been two years now. And in that two years, Becky had fallen in love with Finn.

Becky loved Y/N, of course. Y/N had become a great friend of hers, which is why she should never know about what Becky and Finn are doing; what they have been doing. She wanted to end it a few times but she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

She loved Finn too much to let him go…the worst part, is not like she couldn’t let Finn go, it’s more or so that she wouldn’t let him go. Again, Becky loved Finn too much. She knew she shouldn’t…she knew she deserved better than what Finn and her have.

Becky hated that she had to hide what she had with Finn…she hated being a secret; she hated that she couldn’t brag about the necklace Finn gave her for her birthday not too long ago. She’s spent the last two years struggling in being the other woman and not the only woman.

In the beginning, Finn made it out that they were just friends with benefits. But as time went on he acts and sometimes even treats Becky like he loves her. Behind closed doors at least, but still treats her like Becky’s seen him with you. But it’s still not the same way she had hoped. There’s always something different in the way he treated you than he does her.

She loved him…but love shouldn’t make her feel guilty. She shouldn’t feel guilty about betraying your trust because if she was a good friend, she wouldn’t have done it to begin with.

Becky and Finn had so much history and it wasn’t surprising to her that they ended up sleeping together. She just didn’t think that it would happen while he was married to Y/N.

But she knows with Finn still married to Y/N after starting their affair two years ago that he might not ever leave her. She’ll be destined to be Finn’s dirty little secret until she’s had enough…or until he’s had enough. She’s pretty sure that he doesn’t know that he’s breaking her heart, not like she’s ever told him any of this.

Becky knows that if she tells him the truth: actually vocalizing that she loves him, she risks losing him. He’s never told her that he loved her. He may be treating her like he loves her, but he may not actually love her. Care about her, sure, but not love her.

She broke out of her thoughts and looked over to the sleeping Finn next to her. He would be leaving her to go home to Y/N tomorrow. She hated knowing that he was going back to her when she felt like he should just get it over with and stay with her.

You say I’m crazy

Cause you don’t think I know what you’ve done

But when you call me baby

I know I’m not the only one

Becky got out of the shower and brushed her wet hair. Finn was leaving today to go back to his wife. She hated every time he left. She hated it so much that she had considered more than a few times to tell Y/N about their ‘relationship’. But then she never did.

She never did because she knew that it would burn her bridge with Y/N. She wanted her to know but didn’t at the same time. Becky loved her…so much. When this started, she never expected things to get to this point…hell, she never expected to have even slept with Finn. But it just happened one night and it continued for the next couple of years.

Becky couldn’t stress enough how much she hated that she’s Finn’s secret. If she wasn’t, he wouldn’t have to leave to go back to her. She would be the one waiting on Finn when he came home; she would be the one he slept next to and held close through the night, whispering how much he loved her…she could be the one to have kids with him and grow old with.

Why couldn’t he see that? Why did he have to keep breaking her heart like this? Why couldn’t she just tell him the truth about her feelings? Why does she feel like she’s being so stupid?

Becky wiped the stray tear that fell from her eye and placed her hairbrush down. With a sigh, she plugged in the hair dryer. Before she turned it on, Finn came inside.

“Hey, I’m taking off. I’ll see you next week.” Finn said, kissing her.

Finn went to pull away but Becky pulled him back to her, deepening the kiss. Finn’s right hand rested on Becky’s waist for a moment before he pulled away from her.

“I wish you didn’t have to go.” Becky whispered sadly.

“I know, but we’ll see each other next week, baby.” Finn assured, lightly smacking Becky’s butt with a smirk.

“Bye.”

Finn had gotten to the door before replying, “Bye.”

Becky sighed to herself once more, working to keep the tears at bay. She stared at her reflection in the mirror for a moment. She hated what she’s become.

But she knows at the end of the day, she’s gonna stick this out with Finn because having him in this way was better than not having him at all.

I have loved you for many years

Maybe I am just not enough

Every time Finn left home now, you always wondered how he could do this to you…it stays on your mind the entire time, on top of what he’s doing and if he’s with Becky at the moment. And then if you think he’s with Becky, your mind is bitchy enough to think about what he’s doing to her in bed…all you see is him pleasuring a woman that isn’t you.

How…how are you not enough for him? Again, you and Finn had a very healthy and active sex life…why does he feel the need to step out on you with Becky?

Ugh, and then there’s Becky. After learning about her involvement with Finn, you know that things would never be the same…as far as you were concerned, your friendship was over. So fucking over. The same question applies to her: How could she do this to you too?

You broke down into tears once more, crumpling to your knees as you sobbed. You took another swig from the bottle of Jack you were nursing, not even reacting to the burn in your throat anymore.

Finn was everything to you…he was everything you had left. Why couldn’t you be the same thing to him? He promised to love you and never lie to you but he does it everyday. Why wouldn’t you just leave? Or at the least do something about it?

That suddenly set you off. You grabbed your bottle of Jack and stormed upstairs. Taking another swig as you got to your bedroom, you went to the closet. You stared at Finn’s clothes hanging up before setting the bottle on the floor. You ripped Finn’s clothes from the hangers and stepped out of the room to throw them to the first floor before repeating the process with the clothes in his dresser drawers.

Once you were done, you picked up your bottle and chugged the rest of it. You caught your reflection in the full length mirror and you threw your empty bottle, shattering the glass from both the mirror and the bottle.

You were like a person possessed; you swept things off the dresser and knocked it over. Doing that felt so good that when you went downstairs to deal with Finn’s clothes, that you suddenly grabbed a fireplace poker and began to break everything in the living room. Once everything that could be broken was, you pushed over shelves and even the TV.

Suddenly your eyes found Finn’s pile of clothes once more. You grabbed the pile and went outside throwing it on the lawn before grabbing more. Once you were done, you went back inside and went into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of vodka and some matches. Heading back outside, you opened the bottle and poured its contents all over Finn’s clothes, tossing the empty bottle on the top of the pile. You then pulled out your matches and lit it, staring at the small flame for a moment. Glancing back at the pile of clothes, you dropped the match on them, setting the clothes ablaze.

You stood there and watched the fire for a moment. You couldn’t help the smile that crossed your face.

You then snapped out of your thoughts. You realized that you were still on the living room floor crying with your bottle of Jack. You looked over to the clean and neat living room before looking over to the coffee table where Finn had just finished putting together another lego pirate ship before he left.

A sigh came out of your mouth as you wiped your tears away. A jingle came from your cell phone, catching your attention. You got up from the floor and saw that you had a text from Finn.

Hey love! I made it back alright. I’m headed home. I’ll see you in a bit!

You swallowed the lump in your throat and went into the kitchen. You closed your half empty bottle of Jack Daniels and put it back in the cabinet. You sighed once more, heading upstairs to clean up any traces of your day so far.

You made me realize my deepest fears

By lying and tearing us up

Becky sat on her couch, wiping the tears away from her eyes. She had just gotten off the phone with Finn and she had decided that maybe it was time to tell Y/N about their affair. The fact that she hurt every time she thought of herself as Finn’s secret trumped over her feelings about her and Y/N’s friendship ending…yes, that’s still gonna hurt her…but a part of her needed Finn in her life.

But then Finn came up with an excuse as to why he couldn’t tell her. In that moment that’s when she realized that all she would be to him is some action on the side…nothing more.

“Look, it’s not a good time, alright? I’m literally just about to walk through the door.” Finn told her.

“Finn, if you don’t tell her now, then there will never be a good time.”

“Then I won’t tell her! Stop pressuring me, Becky. I’ll tell her when I tell her.”

“So never then.”

“God dammit, Becky. We’ll talk about this later.”

Becky lightly scoffed when Finn hung up on her. Angrily, she threw her phone as she worked to keep her tears at bay.

Finn was never gonna tell Y/N…she could tell with how fast he got irritated when she asked. Why doesn’t he see what’s right in front of him? How could he not notice by now how much she loves him? Does he choose not to see it or what?

=================================

Once again, Becky found herself laying next to Finn after a round of lovemaking. He came over and apologized for their argument last week, bringing her some jewelry. Finn kissed Becky before he got up and got into the shower. He couldn’t stay long, as Y/N was waiting for him to come home.

Becky heard a jingle from Finn’s phone, which was in the pocket of his jeans on the floor. Curiously, she got up. She knew it must’ve been Y/N asking when he would be home. But she unlocked his phone (she was still wondering why he didn’t have a passcode on it) and saw a text from someone…and it wasn’t Y/N.

Hey babe. Can’t wait to see you tomorrow. I’ll show you exactly how much I missed you.

Then to end it, there was a winking emoji and a kiss emoji. Becky looked up towards her bedroom door, her heart breaking. Then another jingle sounded, causing Becky to look down at the screen. A picture was sent…it was a nude photo of…Charlotte?

What the hell was happening?

The photo didn’t show her face, but Becky knew those tattoos anywhere. How could he? He decided that it was a good idea to sleep with her fucking best friend? Becky locked Finn’s phone and put it back the way she found it.

You say I’m crazy

Cause you don’t think I know what you’ve done

But when you call me baby

I know I’m not the only one

Becky stood up straight and began to get dressed. She quickly wiped the tears in her eyes as she put on a t-shirt. God, all it seemed like she was doing lately, when it came to Finn, was crying.

Why did it feel like her heart was being ripped out, stomped on and thrown into a fire? Was this how Y/N would feel if she were to find out about her and Finn? Because if she could ever feel like this then maybe she doesn’t have to know about them. She doesn’t want Y/N to go through what she’s going through in this very moment. As much as she hated being a secret, she didn’t think it was worth putting someone else through the same thing she’s feeling…especially considering that they’re supposed to be friends.

Becky looked over towards the doorframe when she heard Finn coming out of the bathroom. She didn’t say a word as he began to get dressed. Once he was fully clothed, he checked his phone. Becky watched, her heart dropping when he smiled at the screen and began to reply.

“Is it Y/N?” Becky asked, pretending as she didn’t notice.

“Yeah. She wants me to get home. She made my favorite for dinner.” Finn replied, looking up at Becky.

Liar. Fucking liar.

Becky nodded as Finn gave her a kiss on the cheek, getting ready to leave. Becky pulled Finn back to her and kissed him deeply.

“Finn?” Becky whispered as the separated.

“Yeah?”

“This is probably a stupid thing to ask, but, you aren’t seeing anyone else, are you?”

Finn backed up to look Becky directly in the eyes.

“What?”

“I mean, you seem distracted today and I don’t know…like I said, I know it’s stupid.”

“You’re being crazy, Beck.” Finn assured with a smile. “I wouldn’t do that to you. It’s bad enough I’m doing it to Y/N, but I would never do that to you, baby. I love you.”

Becky’s heart shattered into millions of little pieces. Not only did he just lie to her, he finally told her that he loved her.

“Okay?” Finn continued, cupping her face and comfortingly brushing her cheeks with his thumbs.

“Okay.” Becky answered, lightly nodding.

“I’ll see you in a couple days.”

Finn leaned in to kiss her once more before leaving.

I know I’m not the only one

I know I’m not the only one

You stared out the window of the living room. You had been there ever since you left your doctor’s appointment a couple of hours ago.

You were pregnant.

And that meant that even if you found it in you to leave Finn, you definitely wouldn’t now. Now not only did you have to put on a brave face for yourself, you had to do it for your child. Finn still didn’t know that you knew about Becky and it was a for sure thing that it was gonna stay that way.

In a way, maybe this is what you deserved for not speaking up sooner. Don’t get it wrong, you knew you were gonna love this baby regardless of the piece of shit his or her father was…but again, his or her father was a piece of shit. He didn’t deserve the joy that this baby was going to bring to their lives because he can’t even enjoy the one he has with you.

He wanted more when it came to his sex/relationship life…what if he wanted more when it came to your future child? What if he wanted more kids and had some with Becky? Or even worse, what if he decided to pursue other women than Becky and have babies with them?

You shuddered to think that Finn would pursue other women outside of Becky. You were having a hard time enough as it is, the last thing you wanted was another one.

You paced back and forth, waiting for Finn to come home. Regardless of how you felt about things, you were having a baby and you were gonna have to suck it up. You needed him because not only did your future child deserve to have a father in its life, but because you weren’t sure you could raise a child by yourself.

You stopped when you heard Finn walk through the door. You immediately made the decision that your act of feigning ignorance towards Finn’s infidelity would have to become a permanent state of being if you wanted this to work for you and the baby. Despite how you feel about Finn’s actions, yes, you still loved him…this ignorant state of being would also make you and Finn work. Maybe one day he will realize what he has with you and he’ll stop.

He had to, right? Plus, you knew you couldn’t keep living your life the way you have been since you found out. It’s been killing you because you haven’t been sleeping too well, you having been eating much and you’ve been drinking more than usual. This is where you are now…and this is where you decided that this is the life you have to live with for now.

“Hey, love.” Finn greeted, smiling as he walked over to you.

“Hey.” You replied, your smile quite not reaching your eyes.

“Is everything okay?” His eyebrows furrowed curiously, clearly concerned.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. I just, I went to the doctor today cause I’ve still be super nauseous.”

“That’s right…” Finn drifted from you for a moment, clearly lost in his thoughts. “What’d they say?”

You paused for a moment…could you do this? Like really, because this constant second guessing yourself…you knew that you should follow your instincts and confront him about his cheating and dump his ass. But you also have a life of a child in your hands now. Could you live with yourself by letting him or her possibly growing up without a father? Could you financially handle that without Finn’s help?

No.

No, you couldn’t let your baby live without a father or financially support a child without Finn’s help.

No, you couldn’t do this.

But you knew you had to. You felt now that there was no choice…you were gonna swallow your pride and do all of this for your baby. This child had done nothing wrong to deserve a possibly crappy life because its mom couldn’t suck it up and let it go.

“I’m pregnant.” You told Finn, offering him a sheepish shrug and a small smile.

Finn froze for a moment as he stood there. He took a moment to register what exactly you told him before his eyes shone with unshed tears and a giant smile made its way to his face.

“You—we’re having a baby?” Finn asked, his smile never leaving his face.

“Yeah. In 6 months.”

Finn grabbed your hands and pulled you into his arms. He couldn’t help his laughter as he kissed your cheek, your nose, your lips and your forehead constantly. You had already wrapped your arms around him, but you tightened your hold on him. You looked up at him and shared a smile before you gently kissed him.

You want so badly to believe that he’ll stop seeing Becky and you’ll be the only woman in his life again, especially after this reaction to the baby. They say ignorance is bliss…and you hoped for that to be true.

For the baby and for you.

You hope that pretending to think that you’re the only woman in his life will make you happy again…even though in the back of your mind, you will always know the truth.

And I know, and I know

And I know, and I know

And I know

And I know, no

I know I’m not the only one

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #221: ... New Blood!

July, 1982

A semi-famous somewhat imitated cover!

Can you guess ahead of time which two will be joining the Avengers?

No cheating.

Actually, what’s funny is that I can imagine a Young Bendis looking at this cover, seeing Luke Cage, Spider-Man, and Wolverine all in a row like that and whispering to himself ‘one day... one day...’

Spider-Woman is even on this! This is almost the roster meme that Bendis would have selected his team out of.

Just as soon as he cleared the way by killing off Ant-Man and Hawkeye.

Anyway, I like the cute touch that there’s just a completely blank square for Sue Storm. And is she really still going by Invisible Girl at this point?

-google- Ah, Invisible Woman is still a few years off.

And at risk of spoiling, I like the cover pretending that Rom (Space Knight) could feasibly join the Avengers. Although that would have made a hilarious mess when the rights lapsed. A whole swathe of Avengers comics unavailable.

So, where are we at?

Last times on Avengers: Captain America decided that the Avengers had become too unwieldy. They’d settled into a filler rut and Cap wanted them to be lean and mean.

So the old order changeith’d! And Moondragon meddled, causing half of the old team to quit. But Cap got his lean team of himself, Thor, Iron Man, Wasp, Yellowjacket, and Tigra.

And then Yellowjacket Hank Pym had an ‘attempted murder out of insecurity’ breakdown and tried to murder his friends and was a very bad husband to Wasp as well.

So Yellowjacket was out and Wasp took some personal time.

It was just Cap, Thor, Iron Man, and Tigra. And then Tigra quit.

Wasp rejoined but the trim team of six had become anemic at four and after some space mishaps, its finally time to try to do something about that.

As Iron Man declares in title-of-the-issue font they need some ... NEW BLOOD!

And Wasp declares ‘yes we all know that already we’ve just been putting it off.’

(And they finally got the big meeting table back from the cleaners or wherever its been. Thank goodness)

But the question that Chairperson Wasp poses the team is should they re-induct some ex-members or go looking for some truly new blood?

Thor is brooding on the recent events, where Moondragon manipulated the Avengers previous roster shakeup and later when Moondragon took over a planet and got Thor to fight his friends.

So Thor’s point, by way of dwelling, is that they should be careful with who they choose.

Thor: “Thus can no action, no thought made by any of us in the last weeks be truly, absolutely claimed as our own. Not even... mine.”

There we go. There’s that good Moondragon induced paranoia I was hoping for.

And character wise, I do like that there’s fallout from the Ba-Bani misadventure. Whether being forced to fight his friends or being made to fall in love with Moondragon or being convinced to side with her plan to bring mandatory peace to the universe. Thor has been affected by what happened.

Cap suggests that they clear the slate and just judge potential members on their current qualifications.

So what qualifications should potential Avengers have?

Captain America: “Compatibility. Someone who can work in a team.”

Iron Man: “And technical expertise. Perhaps someone good with weaponry.”

Thor: “We’ve enough strength, methinks. But courage is important. Aye, and a noble heart.”

Wasp: “Well, I know exactly what this group needs. More girls!”

Good suggestions. All good suggestions. But very good suggestion from Wasp.

I know that two women on one team is the low bar that Avengers tends to reach but you know what’s worse? One women on one team. And you know what’s better? Three.

Think about it.

The meeting gets cut short because Jan has to go do Jan things like show off fashion at the Tavern on the Green but she tells the others to figure out who they’d like as new Avengers and then they’ll all decide at their meeting next week.

As the Avengers all head off, Captain America mentions to Iron Man that hey remember how Hawkeye used to be an Avenger all the time? Weren’t those good times? He worked well on the team, was real into being an Avenger.

Iron Man agrees that sure is a Thought but flies off thinking more about Jan’s suggestion to have more women on the team, albeit probably for less than pure reasons.

Thor meanwhile doesn’t have anywhere to be so sits down in the sitting room and reads a Time magazine.

Jarvis brings Thor some mead and Thor asks who Jarvis would enlist for the Avengers if Jarvis was given the choice.

Jarvis is surprised to be asked but does his best to speak off the cuff.

Jarvis: “Why, I - I really hadn’t given it much thought! But since you ask, I feel that some of the best Avengers have started as the most unlikely candidates. For example, those with strongly individual, independent natures seem to have worked out surprisingly well.”

You’re a good guy, Jarvis.

And you’ve got a good point. Since the Avengers were pretty much everyone who wasn’t on a team jammed onto a team together, the Avengers kind of have as foundation strongly individual independent superheroes managing to do a teamwork anyway.

And Thor just so happens to be reading the Time magazine that has a picture of Spider-Man on the front (along with “Friend or Menace?”) and thinks huh individual and independent??

Oh boy!

Spider-Man going to be offered a spot on the Avengers? Is it 2005 already?

Goofs aside, this is an interesting callback maybe.

All the way back in Amazing Spider-Man Annual #3 (November, 1966) which I didn’t cover but probably should have if this was a more comprehensive Avengers blog but then I may have died under the enormity of the task.

Uh, that sentence got away from me.

Anyway, in that Spider-Man Annual, the Avengers debate whether to recruit Spider-Man for their team. Thor is the one there to find Spider-Man and bring him to the mansion. The Avengers decide to test him and (after Spider-Man tries to beat up the entire team because that’s what Spider-Man thinks proving himself is) they send him to bring the Hulk back with him.

He finds the Hulk and fights the Hulk but Hulk turns back to Bruce Banner and Spider-Man feels bad for Bruce and doesn’t want to turn him over to the Avengers (not knowing that they want to help Hulk). So he comes back and says welp couldn’t find him guess I’m not Avengers material byyyyyye.

The other Avengers go huh I guess he wasn’t Avengers material but Thor seemed to suspect what had really happened.

So my rambling point is that its appropriate that Thor again thinks to recruit Spider-Man for the Avengers because of that previous story.

Later in the day, Iron Man calls Captain America.

Although as Cap points out they know each other’s civilian name now so why be formal?

Iron Man: “Captain America? This is Iron Man.”

Captain America: “Hey, Tony, let’s make it ‘Steve,’ okay? I’m off duty.”

So Tony “Iron Man” Stark has managed to stop thinking about more woman on the Avengers and has actually started to think about having Hawkeye back on the Avengers and has to admit, it sounds good to him!

So Captain Steve says they should go together tomorrow and see what Hawkeye thinks.

This is a nice sequence.

Its nice to see how the two learning each other’s identity plays out like this. Tony trying to stick to how they’ve known each other and Steve making a not subtle overture for them to become more familiar.

This is probably good shipping fodder, I realize!

But it is also good friendshipping fodder. It can be both.

Elsewhere and meanwhile, at the Van Dyne residence, Janet puts her own recruitment drive into... drive?

She’s invited every super-heroine in the country she can think of to brunch but she has no idea how to get a hold of She-Hulk.

Not even her state of the art computer system can find her! Granted, the state of the art computer system is for analyzing fashion forecasts and not news reports about She-Hulk sightings.

So Jan decides that if you want a She-Hulk you’ve got to spend a little green.

She has her assistant take out a bunch of full-page ads in all of the major west coast newspapers. And heck, buy a bunch of commercial time too!

Jan is going to do some I Want You (to Join the Avengers) ads!

She is ludicrously wealthy.

I went and checked and her original inheritance was ‘only’ three million dollars but the way that she throws around money I’m pretty sure she has managed to get some lucrative investments. That or she’s just super good at being a fashionista.

Granted, blowing a bunch of money for a chance to have brunch with She-Hulk is a pretty good reason to blow a bunch of money.

Later, as twilight comes, Thor is flying around Central Park because he has no idea how to find Spider-Man but hears that he’s often around “the meadow-lands called Central Park” and happens upon three goofuses who just robbed a pawnshop.

These goofuses are such goofuses that one of them is wearing groucho glasses as a disguise. Another one is wearing a clown mask.

Which, like a moth to fire, aggros Spider-Man just to mock the guy.

I’m pretty sure rather than flying around aimlessly, the best way to find Spider-Man is to create the perfect quip opportunity.

A clown: “I’m gonna kiss every dime o’ my share -- just as soon as we get to the hideout so’s I can take off this stupid mask!”

Spider-Man, suddenly: “Aw, c’mon, Bunky, leave it on! I’ve always wanted to bust a bozo who looks like a bozo!”

Groucho: “S-s-spider-Man!”

S-s-spider-Man: “But enough of this clowning! Wanna give up?”

Dangit, Peter. Good wordplay.

But before can catch these thieves just like flies, down came the rain and washed the spider out.

A sudden, inexplicable (cough cough Thor) localized storm tosses around the thieves until they surrender.

After the police lead away the goofus thieves, Spider-Man comes dripping wet and with a bone to pick.

Spider-Man: “Do you have any idea what it’s like running around in wet tights?”

Thor is like sorry bro but I’ve come to talk so Spider-Man agrees but they’ll need to go off somewhere private because the press is honing in on him to ask him bonkers questions about whether he came in a flying saucer.

I think they’re thinking of a certain emissary of hell.

That darn press!

Spider-Man and Thor relocate to a high rooftop for their talk.

Spider-Man: “Now, Goldilocks, what’s your beef?”

Thor: “Thy protective demeanor is unneeded, my friend. I have no ‘beef’ -- only a proposal. The Avengers are seeking new members, and I wouldst offer thee such position.”

Spider-Man: “You... Thor... want me as an Avenger?

Spider-Man is still not sure if it would work out (reflecting on Spider-Man Annual #3) but he’s also really flattered by the offer. And presumably how the offer wasn’t accompanied by “BUT FIRST YOU MUST PASS OUR TEST!”

So he can’t just accept the offer off-hand but he’s definitely going to think about it.

Even if you don’t join the team, even just being considered is an honor.

The twilight turns into night turns into day, and Cap and Iron Man show up in Hawkeye’s place of business to bug him.

Don’t know if you remember but Hawkeye has a cushy job as head of security for Cross Technological Enterprises. And he actually does take the job seriously which is why he’s a little concerned, at least for his professional pride, that Cap and Iron Man got past his guards.

Cap: “Avengers priority -- never leave home without it. In fact, we’ve come to offer it to you.”

Smooth. Smooth, Cap.

Although I do like that they can just march up to the guards of this company and go ‘hey let us in we’re avengers’ and its not even a ‘ok i’ll clear it with head of security hawkeye’ its ‘yeah sure go right in and do you want any paperclips?’

Anyway, Hawkeye has his pride so he tells Cap not to expect him to come crawling back after the Avengers booted him out (actually Gyrich because Gyrich wanted the Avengers to have some ding dang diversity. Its weirdly the least assholeish thing he’s ever done although he approached it very much in an asshole way).

Point being, they kicked Hawkeye out and he has a new super cool job now.

Iron Man takes this show of wounded pride in wounded stride, just asking that Hawkeye consider it and let them know when he makes a decision.

But Hawkeye doubts he’ll decide to come back to the Avengers because he’s got a good thing in this steady, respectable paying job which comes with job security and respect!

And then, suddenly struck by the realization that he, Hawkeye, is turning down a drama implosion like the Avengers to do the adult thing?? Hawkeye doesn’t like what he’s become.

And he stares in horror at the trappings of power and respectability. The sex and the drugs.

Or a Playboy magazine and a personalized coffee cup, at least.

And he decides to give Iron Man his answer right then and there.

Which, of course, involves shooting arrows. This is Hawkeye we’re talking about.

What’s amazing is that we’ll learn later this issue that he’s going to keep his security job and do Avengers on top of that (and in fairness most of the Avengers don’t have Avengers as their only thing). But he just shot an arrow through a glass door in his place of employment.

But you don’t hire Hawkeye if you don’t expect that kind of thing so I can see why it wouldn’t impact his job.

So that’s Hawkeye as a YES and Spider-Man as a ‘I’ll get back to you.’ And as the weekend arrives, it’s time for Janet van Dyne’s superheroine brunch.

And on the hill above the van Dyne house, its our old pal Fabian Stankowicz.

Remember? The Mechano-Marauder? Built a robot suit to beat up the Avengers, none of them took him that seriously? Iron Man beat him up solo without trying very hard and then got angry about Hank Pym?

Anyway, he’s back, somehow, and he’s salty about the less than dignified experience he had in issue 217. But this time, he has a new plan!

Fabian Stankowicz: “They laughed at me! Mocked me! But I’ll show the Avengers that the Mechano-Marauder is not to be toyed with! I’ll attack their weakest member when the others aren’t around! She’ll be helpless! *Heh-heh-heh*”

Well. Good luck with that, my dude.

Sue Storm-Richards, the Invisible Girl, arrives and Jan introduces her to the other prospective Avengers: Dazzler, Spider-Woman, and Black Widow.

All good candidates, really.

Especially Dazzler.

Well, Beast left and Tigra left so somebody needs to be the new funny person.

Apparently, Spider-Woman doesn’t like puns because she immediately starts getting catty with Dazzler.

Spider-Woman: “Nice going, Blaire! You’re showing all the polish and poise of a real pro!”

Dazzler: “Oh? And I suppose crawling on walls like some yucky insect is ‘professional’?”

Spider-Woman: “I sting, too”

I guess, they have some history in Dazzler’s own book that didn’t go over well. Black Widow has to lean over and tell them to cut the shit out for Jan’s sake.

But then the last invited guest shows up.

ITS A SHE-HULK!

She saw the ads and she’s come for the free food!

Relatable.

Outside, Jan’s chauffeur Mr. Carrothers sits on the limo taking a smoke break and reflecting how good he has it working for the Wasp. Good pay, casual hours. The most he can complain about is that it gets a little boring sometimes.

That’s probably tempting fate because the All-New All-Different Mechano-Marauder stomps up to the house. Remember how Fabian threw the limo last time? Mr. Carrothers remembers.

He panics and runs into the house and tries to warn the assembled heroes.

And yet.

They didn’t really leap to action, huh? I mean, I get it. Brunch.

Even after the robot fist has punched through Wasp’s frankly ludicrous window and kidnapped Dazzler, Wasp is more annoyed than anything.

Wasp: “Fabian Stankowicz, you get that thing out of my living room!”

And then has to explain to her guests that Fabian is some chump that Iron Man beat up and that he wants to make a name for himself by defeating the Avengers. And Sue is like ah yes I understand completely.

But chump or not, Black Widow decides that they should rescue Dazzler.

Dazzler: “I don’t think I need saving, folks! This guy’s just holding, not squeezing!”

And so much for the brunch bunch taking this any amount of serious.

Sue just puts up a quick invisible dome to keep Fabian from getting to the rest of them which the Mechano-Marauder instantly bonks into and bangs on impotently demanding that they let him in.

Careful, Fabian.

You’re memeing yourself.

Dazzler saves herself when she gets tired of being carried around. She does her Dazzler thing with the bright pulse of light, blinding Fabian.

He drops Dazzler but she’s caught by She-Hulk.

The blinded Mechano-Marauder drives around blindly, thinking “These women aren’t even Avengers! They can’t beat me!”

Alas, Dazzler decides the same decision she decided in #211, that she’s a singer, not a fighter.

And Sue also decides to head off, saying that she’s too busy with the Fantastic Four anyway.

Shame.

But can we talk about the sheer audacity that Jan had of trying to poach Sue from the Fantastic Four to the Avengers? The nerve! The verve!

So that’s two of her candidates declining but that still leaves Spider-Woman, Black Widow, and She-Hulk.

And unfortunately for Mechano-Marauder, the first two are the two that have decided to kick his ass a little for entertainment reasons.

Spider-Woman’s venom blast damages one of the giant robot fists and Black Widow swings around Hoth-style and trips the Mechano-Marauder into the ornamental pond.

Alas, after literally dunking a giant robot into a pond, both Spider-Woman and Black Widow turn down the offer to join the Avengers.

Black Widow has private business that are keeping her busy. And Spider-Woman doesn’t even offer an excuse.

In fairness, she has her own solo book over in California and that’s a heck of a commute. I’m actually impressed that she came all this way for brunch.

Fabian is fed up with being treated as an after-thought in his own fight scene and bursts out of the pond, yelling how he’s going to destroy them all!

All.... uh, two that’s left at this point. Yup, he sure is going to destroy all two of them.

She-Hulk has been fairly low-key this whole story, especially for She-Hulk. I’m pretty sure she came to the brunch just for the food and she hasn’t reacted much to Fabian, even when the others were. She caught Dazzler but she hasn’t had much to say since arriving. She’s mostly been standing with her hands on her hips, watching things play out.

But I guess she’s gotten tired of Fabian. Or maybe it falls to her as the last guest.

She tells him to shut up and breaks his robot suit with one punch.

Fabian has one last trick up his Mechano-Marauder sleeve but its a dumb one.

His ejector seat is actually a backup robot suit. Annnd, its so heavy that it sinks into the ground. Trapping him.

Good job, Fabian.

She-Hulk goes to give him one more punch but Wasp stops her. Because she wants a shot at him.

And wow! What a shot!

At full not small size she crosses the streams to focus her bio-power stings into one concentrated beam and blows a hole in Fabian’s escape suit.

I’ve talked before about how Wasp’s pew pew stings have seemingly gotten souped up under Shooter and I think this is another good example. I mean, she’s not blowing up a house but combining the blasts to do precision boring is another cool application we haven’t seen before.

Anyway, now Wasp goes teeny and flies into the hole she made and up into the helmet to blast Fabian in the face. So hard his helmet flies off.

Wasp: “That’ll teach ‘im for ruining my party!”

And that’s that for brunch.

Days later, Jarvis calls the State Department to request official clearance for two new members.

And we see part of the process of that. Interesting if you’re interested in the logistics of an officially recognized superhero team.

I guess what’s interesting is that Henry Peter Gyrich is still part of the process.

You’d think he’d have been replaced or something after the Avengers very publicly embarrassed him and got emancipated from him. I guess he keeps doing the necessary liaison stuff without ever talking to them.

The requests for the two new members cross Gyrich’s desk and he takes it to the White House where the request gets signed by Ronald Reagan.

(The two new members are Hawkeye and She-Hulk by the by. We see it on the paperwork. Guess Spider-Man is still thinking it over.)

Anyway, I guess its interesting that new Avengers are a matter that goes all the way up to the president.

God, I’m glad that for the modern team, Cap told the US government to fuck off because I don’t want to even think about that still being a thing.

The next day after the paperwork is signed, Hawkeye is on his way to Avengers Mansion in a cab. He’s reading a Time magazine about the change in the Avengers’ roster and reflecting that it’ll be hard to hold down two jobs but worth it because he’s missed the adventure.

Check out the Time magazine though.

The cover of this comic book issue is in-universe the cover of Time magazine! That’s neat.

But Hawkeye’s cab is suddenly cut off by a pink Cadillac.

And Hawkeye being Hawkeye doesn’t just grumble and go about his day. He commits assault. Because this is Hawkeye.

The guy that Cap and Iron Man wanted back for being a good team-player.

So he gets out of the cab and shoots the pink Cadillac with an EMP arrow that fries the car’s electrical system.

Really abusing that Avengers Priority Status already, huh, Hawkeye?

The one mistake he made is that the pink Cadillac belongs to She-Hulk. She in fact earned it by doing a car commercial for Wacky Willie’s Wheels-And-Deals so you might imagine she’s fond of it.

So she picks up the cab with Hawkeye in it and leans it against a lightpole.

And then she picks up the Cadillac on her shoulder and walks off with it.

She-Hulk knows how to make a lasting impression, I’ll say that.

But soon after he gets down from the taxi and stops in at an ER to make sure he’s not concussed, Hawkeye arrives at Avengers Mansion to rejoin the team.

Hawkeye: “Okay, folks, life can go on -- Hawkeye’s here!”

Iron Man: “And it’s about time! We were starting to get worried. What happened?”

Hawkeye: “Oh, nothin’ much -- not ‘til some freaky Amazon tried to play dominoes with my taxi!”

She-Hulk, lurking silhouetted by the window: “‘Amazon’, eh? I don’t suppose it could have been -- a green Amazon?”

That is a powerful energy you have there, She-Hulk. Powerful energy and a power move in a power suit.

And that’s how Hawkeye’s day was ruined. Also how the two new additions to the team start with bad blood.

Conflict! We gotta have it!

Wasp: “Hawkeye, She-Hulk. I’d like to officially welcome you both. From now on -- you’re one of us. We’re one of you. And we’re all -- THE AVENGERS!”

Jan’s trying a new thing where she kisses every new member. And they both have to bend down a little for her.

Also, another new Wasp costume! Wasp gonna Wasp!

This is another good, light-hearted decompression issue. The Moondragon two-parter had some yuks but also mind-control sex and Drax’s brain melting. So this time Wasp throws a brunch and Cap and Iron Man help Hawkeye escape the drudgery of an adult job.

There’s a lot of what could have been with Wasp’s guest list. What if she could convince Sue Storm to take a break from the Fantastic Four to try being on the Avengers.

She’ll join later, in the Worst Roster but she’ll join with Reed. I’m thinking more of a thing where Sue gets some time away from the family. I don’t think it could last long and it would need the Avengers and FF writer to be on the same page but I think it could be interesting - Sue getting to be on a team where she doesn’t have to be the adult in the room and doesn’t have to work alongside the family.

It’s a similar reason to why I’d like to see adult Cyclops join the Avengers. He’s so tied in with X-stuff and being the leader of X-stuff that I want to take him out of that context and see a new side of him.

Spider-Woman and Black Widow also could have been interesting. They’ll both become Avengers later. I don’t know that Dazzler ever did and she presents interesting opportunities.

The Avengers have had Wonder Man who was also trying to break into acting while being an Avenger. So Dazzler trying to pursue her singing career might just be a retread of that but what if she were more successful and was a celebrity on the team.

The Avengers kind of are celebrities but I think it’d be a different feel if they had a famous (disco) singer on the team.

Interesting stuff (for me) to think about, anyway.

Something else to talk about is the creative credits. Jim Shooter is credited for plotting but Dave Michelinie as writer. And looking ahead, Shooter is not going to be the solo writer again in the near future.

I think we’re getting to the point where Shooter’s going to be too busy with EIC duties to keep up writing the Avengers. He’s going to get plotting credits for a few more issues, probably loose threads he’s handing to other writers.

So the second Shooter run is going to end soon. Shame. Very much a shame. It wasn’t a very long run but he put a lot of energy and humor into the book.

Next time: Egghead’s back and he’s bringing a new Masters of Evil. Wow, it’s been a while since we’ve had them and they’re supposed to be the Avengers’ evil opposite team.

And Egghead is the not very impressive criminal mastermind who couldn’t beat Hank Pym so instead framed him for crime. Hopefully the new Masters rise above that level of menace.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because I’m bringing you the She-Hulk content you crave. I assume. I took a poll and one out of one person said ‘this is the She-Hulk content I crave’ and I extrapolated from that. Also you should like and reblog because She-Hulk would want you to.

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 88

Sophia, the day after her conversation with Tyche.

Thank you to @satan-parisienne and @baelpenrose for keeping me going and on an even keel! Sorry the Author’s Note is so short... I didn’t realize until I had about 10 mins before I had to be back at work that I forgot to queue this for today *facepalm*

The next day was an entire education on new places I could be sore. A hot shower and analgesics only took the barest edge off, and I ended up needing a transport to get to my office instead of my routine walk. I did my best to ignore the grin on Conor’s face every time I moved too fast and winced.  After the third time I scowled at him, I brought up my datapad and did some research, careful not to tap my legs as I gestured, which had become something of a habit.

 “That snot,” I gasped. Conor glanced at me, so I clarified. “Tyche had me doing fencing footwork yesterday…. Intermediate footwork, it turns out. No wonder I’m so sore.”

 “Least it wasn’t sparring,” he pointed out cheerfully, gently lifting my chin to get a look at my lip.  “You should have let Noah heal that, love.”

 I brushed my cheek against his hand. “I want the reminder. May even let her do it again once it heals.”

 This time, it was his turn to scowl. “Not funny.  That face has been bruised enough for one lifetime.” He gently rubbed my cheek as the transport stopped. “Okay, time to go be the boss.  No fighting with the other kids.”  Despite the joking tone, his eyes were serious as he leaned in to kiss me before he headed to his shift.

 I realized that Alistair not only beat me to work, but could apparently hear me groaning as I tried to walk, because the door opened before I was even within three feet of it.  True to form, he gave me an appraising look before his expression settled on my face. “Door get a bit mouthy today? Or did your feet decide you needed to stay home?”

 “Tyche punched me, actually.” My tone was light as I inched my way to my desk. “For defending myself. And then she decided I need more ways to defend myself, so now I can hardly move.”

 “Solid logic,” he deadpanned as he handed me a cup of coffee. “I feel obliged to point out that the coffee is hot, seeing as you display a disturbing propensity to get hurt.”

 “Very funny.”

 “You have been warned, et cetera, so on, so forth.” He waved a hand nonchalantly as he turned, bringing up my agenda for the day. “Your first meeting is the one to discuss medical testing ethics, criteria for volunteers, and determination of the necessity of the procedures. Then you have time set aside to review the status of the Galactic Core Curriculum, along with proposals for expanded learning topics and their existing analogues in the education systems of other planets - “ He paused and tilted his head. “I will never cease to be caught off guard when sentences like that exist.”

 I restrained the urge to nod - or more accurately, my back twinged with a warning not to even consider it. “Believe me, I understand. Noah and I were talking about other species a few weeks ago. Did you know there is a species of avians out there who essentially live on a planet with no surface atmosphere?”

 “The Preeyar, yes,” he sighed wistfully. “Knowing that Fermi was simply impatient has been quite eye-opening, so to speak.”

“Well, he wasn’t wrong,” I conceded. “We were too young for extraterrestrial civilizations, we weren’t listening properly, they apparently weren’t trying to contact us until recently…  But they do exist.” A smile crept on my face at the idea that we really hadn’t been alone in the universe.

My office door opened without warning, and a familiar voice chimed in as Alistair turned with clenched fists. “I do argue that we are entirely too dangerous to have been contacted.” Arthur Farro stood leaning against the frame, and Alistair relaxed marginally. “At least we were until relatively recently…. Throwing nuclear ordinance at each other the moment killing each other in the thousands - rather than the millions - stopped scratching that vicious itch. Who does that?  We’re like demented eight-year-olds who got bored of burning ants and started setting each other’s hair on fire instead.”

“You really should keep that door secured,” my assistant sniffed as he closed out my agenda, right around the time he caught Arthur squinting at it.

“He has the code,” I admitted.

“Or maybe that was accidental,” our resident history teacher continued, ignoring us. “I’m a big fan of assuming stupidity instead of malice where possible.  And, dear lord, does our track record make it plausible.”  Finally entering the room, he flicked a finger at my face. “That was not, however.”

Before I could stop him, Alistair took one glance between me and my friend, and strode to the door. “No.”

“Alistair…”

“I’ll clear your calendar. No. Have a good day.”

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Arthur asked as the door closed behind my soon-to-be-ex assistant.

“That he’s a coward,” I muttered.

“You know damned well that’s not what I mean.”

“Tyche already decked me.” I gestured at my split lip and the bruise that bloomed on my chin overnight. “So, yeah, I know - “

“No, you really don’t seem to.”

“Arthur, stop.”

“I will not.” He stepped forward and placed both his hands, palms down, on my desk.  He knew I hated that gesture. “Bjornson’s entire narrative hinges on you being more dangerous than anyone realizes, and you putting up a display of false helplessness to make everyone trust you.  By decking one of his followers, not only did you show that you do, in fact, have violence in you - meaning that it’s now entirely plausible you’re as Machiavellian as they claim - but you’ve also gone and indicated for whatever reason that Jokull is enough of a threat to drop that premise.” Straightening, he crossed his arms in clear disappointment. “If you wanted to give him more credibility, good job. You succeeded.”

I swallowed every bit of hurt I felt at his words, reminding myself they were nowhere near as barbed as the ones Tyche had given me the day before. Instead, I tilted my head and arched an eyebrow at him. “Are you done? Did you say everything you needed to say?” I paused, giving him a chance to respond. When he didn’t, I poked harder. “Feel better?”

“Not particularly, but big picture? I’m not a terribly gleeful person, as I’m sure you’ve noticed. But yes, it is your turn now.”

“Gracious of you,” I cooed sarcastically.  “Tyche made the same points yesterday, after punching me in the face, with the added gravitas of a guilt trip served with that special seasoning of having watched me almost die and thinking I abandoned her as a child. Also three hours with a rapier, whipping my ass. So. Far more impressive, I assure you.”

“Foiled again by the smaller Reid,” he sighed dramatically before catching himself.  “Rapier, you say? I was going to say no pun intended, but I’ve decided I did that on purpose. Yep. Totally intentional.”

I rolled my eyes before pulling up my tunic to show the bruises on my midriff. “I’m not very good at it, for the record.”

He waved a hand dismissively. “Don’t worry, saber’s a better style anyway.  And I’m not just saying that because it’s my favorite.”

“Uh huh,” I nodded, not entirely convinced. “As far as Bjornson… seriously. She gave me the scoop.  I seriously fubared the entire situation yesterday.  Apparently, our suspected cult leader only believes in physical attacks on those who would defend themselves. No honor in beating a beaten foe, et cetera.”

“Mmm hmmm,” he nodded, like I was a student he was letting reach her own conclusion.

“Which means I just made it open season on Sophias,” I groaned.

“Really, saber is much better for brawling tactics,” he hedged.

I laughed bitterly. “Doesn’t matter.  My walking privileges are revoked until further notice. Must be accompanied by one of six people, or two out of another ten, and on a transport.” The last word came out like a profanity.  It was a known fact I hated using them.

Hence why I was now being forced to, unfortunately.

“If you think there is any possibility that I’m going to argue against Tyche on that decision, I need to talk to her about that head scan,” he told me pointedly. “Then again, you and I have different definitions of the word ‘think’, but I’ll be clear - it’s not happening.  Moving target, faster than a walking pace, with a protective attachment? Which roster am I on, again?”

“Very funny. You already know.”

His expression softened slightly when he realized I was actually upset. “There is some good news in all of this.”

I threw up my hands and spun in my chair. “Oh, do tell, great military historian and warlord. What is the shining silver lining to the fact that I just gave a man who thinks I am the only thing standing between him and his New Start a golden ticket to sic his followers on me?”

“Okay, first off, sassy shit, my main career is a school teacher. I only moonlighted as a warlord to pay those apocalypse bills. Not my fault I was good at it.” Suddenly, he got serious. “The good new is, if he was too stupid to realize that your talent for inspiring loyalty meant you were a massive problem for any takeover plan, and a problem he’d have to deal with sooner or later….. Well, he’s probably too stupid to keep his little cult together much longer.  Leaders who don’t recognize more than one kind of strength never manage to build a lasting legacy.”

“My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings: Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair…” I said, half to myself.

“Yeah, our guy is no Ramses II,” Arthur replied.  “Besides, those who seek power are rarely good at keeping it.”

“I would have given him my seat on the Council if he’d just asked,” I admitted.

“Besides the fact that you literally just proved my point, if he was suited to the Council, he’d be on it.  It’s not like you were the only candidate.”

I shrugged. “No idea. I didn’t even know I was on the Council for the first week. I think it was a week.”

When I turned to look at him, I was met with a flat stare. “I know it was explained to you at some point.  How does that search function work?” He reached forward like he was going to tap my head before I swatted his hand away. “You were appointed to the Council to replace Simon, you represent a specific population on board the Ark, when we arrive at Von, you will serve an additional two planetary standard years before elections are held, of which you cannot be a candidate….”

Ugh. “I was put forward as a recommendation by Simon. The other Councillors put forward their candidates. The population I represent voted based on my personnel file, since no one even knew any of the candidates at that point. We’d only been on the Ark about six months. Some of us, anyway.” Glaring, I narrowed my eyes at him. “I don’t know how you figured that out, but I have a feeling I’m going to kill someone.”

He waved a hand at me in a very familiar gesture. “I see other people do it all the time. Jog your memory, and some phrase or word triggers it.  Cool to watch, though.” With a shrug, he continued. “Point is, Bjornson wasn’t even a candidate, same as me.”

“How do you know that?” I asked incredulously.

“Fuck, Sophia. You really need to keep track of your constituents.”

“Hey, I didn’t even want to be a - Wait. You are one of my so-called ‘constituents’!?”

“Even voted for you,” he grinned.  “Didn’t know it was you-you, but… Communications background, peaceful but intelligent attributes to balance out our resident warhawk, fair enough to offset Huynh, and you seemed like the type to actually listen to Grey, Pranav, and Eino.” He shrugged. “To be fair, I was right.”

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[let-me-love-you-loki]

Hounds of Justice--Ch. 44

Chapter 44

           The wind nearly blew me over as I walked out of the back door of Black and Brave. The students had already gone to get some rest. Every single one of them had done a fantastic job. Sarah had made progress in getting over some of her fear, although it was going to take a while before she was truly what I would call fearless in the ring.

           Seth had given me the keys to his CUV so I could go back to the house. He’d decided to go check in on the place he owned were a number of the male student stayed when they were training at the school. I was tired anyway, so it didn’t bother me too much.

           I engaged the GPS with the address of the house, cursing under my breath that I still hadn’t mastered the route between Moline and Davenport. Halfway there, large flakes of snow started falling. They hit the ground and melted into the asphalt, glowing bright in the headlights before they disappeared. If the temperature dropped low enough, it would start to stick. God only knew how long it was going last.

           By the time I pulled into the garage, the grass was dusted with white. I dug my phone out of my bag. Waited for the line to connect.

           “Hey, babe,” Seth said on the other end.

           I tucked the phone between cheek and shoulder. “Hey. You might want to head back soon. It’s starting to snow.”

           He chuckled. “This isn’t snow, Llane. It’s powder.”

           “Well, powder can still be dangerous.”

           The sound of his voice muffled, as if he’d put his hand over the phone. When he came back, there was laughter in the background. “If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll come home.”

           I made a face as I turned on the coffee maker, needing something warm to drink. “I just don’t want you to get hurt trying to drive back after the roads freeze over.”

           “I’m on my way. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

           “Don’t rush!”

             I changed into a pair of flannel pants and a tank beneath an oversized sweater. Fleece socks kept my feet warm on the cold wood floors. I curled up on the sofa with a cup of coffee, flipping through channels with Prince and Kevin curled up on each side. Every now and then, I’d check my phone, starting to worry when ten minutes became fifteen and then twenty.

           When the garage door engaged nearly forty-five minutes after we talked, I was on edge with anxiety. Seth came in the side door, nose a little red from the cold and bundled in a hoodie and a jacket. He toed off his shoes by the door and grinned at me as he tossed a set of keys and his wallet on the counter.

           “Are you okay?” I asked breathlessly. Kevin stirred when I stood up but sank back down into his nap when he realized nothing exciting was happening.

           He smiled, tugged me into his arms. I craned my neck to look up at him. “Maybe the roads were worse than I thought.”

           I tried not to smirk. “Ah.”

           He rolled his eyes. His lips brushed my forehead. “You were right. I wouldn’t have wanted to drive in this after it freezes tonight.”

           Stunned. Uncertain that I’d heard properly. I blinked.

           Seth led me by the hand toward the sofa. He sat down just where it curved into its L shape and tugged me down beside him. I curled against him, my head resting on his shoulder as he enveloped me in warmth.

           “Besides,” he said with quiet tenderness, “Mom takes care of the bunkhouse anyway. I just wanted to see what kind of stuff those guys were doing.”

           I smiled as I threaded our fingers together. His lips brushed the top of my head. “You’d like to be here more often, wouldn’t you?”

           “Yeah. It’s hard enough just keeping up with all the stuff going on with my family when I’m on the road. If it wasn’t for Marek and the rest of them, I don’t think I could run the school.”

           Words rushed through my brain, cobbled themselves together into sentences. A wish turned to hope to desire in the depths of my heart.

           Quiet settled between us. I stayed there, my head on his shoulder, his arm curled around me, even after I felt the light rumbling of a snore go through his chest. A smile played on my lips.

           “It wouldn’t be so bad living in Iowa,” I whispered into the silence. Kevin rested his chin on my feet, almost agreeing with me.

             “So you two’ve figured your stuff out?” Dean asked as we warmed up in gorilla. Mixed Match Challenge went life on Facebook in just a few minutes, and our match was up first.

           “Some of it,” I replied. “He’s trying. That’s all I can ask.”

           A ghost of a smile settled on Dean’s lips. He glanced down at the tattoo on his left ring finger. It was a permanent reminder of his wedding band, even when it wasn’t physically there. “Sometimes that’s all you can do, dollface.”

           I rose up on my toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Dean.”

           He blushed and put his arm around my neck. “Be bored mad.”

           Roman stood just behind me, his radiant warmth spreading throughout my entire body. Seth was on my left, Dean on my right. Charlie stared into a camera just a few feet away, a microphone held in her hand.

           “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guests at this time, The Shield.”

           She turned toward us, the camera following, shifting to fit all four of us into the shot. We gave our best unconcerned and aloof expressions. Seth and Dean had the Raw Tag Team titles around their waists. The Intercontinental title rested over Seth’s shoulder. Roman hoisted the Universal Championship into view.

           “You guys have dominated the Raw roster for weeks now. You three collectively,” she said, gesturing to the guys, “have every championship in the men’s division. Do you feel like you’ve become targets?”

           “You’re always a target when you’ve got gold, Charles,” Roman replied smoothly. “It means you’re the best and everyone wants to prove that they’re better than you.”

           “We’ve put in blood and sweat and blood and tears to get these titles. And anyone who wants to step up can come take their ass-whippin’,” Dean said ferociously.

           “While the three of you have been taking over the men’s division, Llane, you’ve been burning through the women. How does it feel to be the number one contender for the Raw Women’s Championship?”

           The truth was that it felt euphoric. It was something I never thought I would see this early in my career, but I knew that wasn’t something I could say. So instead I shrugged, tried to look more confident than I felt.

           “I earned it, Charlie. I beat some of the most talented women in this business, and I think that’s a pretty good indicator of what I can do.” I glanced at Dean. “With these three at my back, there’s nothing I can’t do.”

           “Oh really?” A voice came from just behind Charlie.

           The camera backed up, made room for a new arrival. Ronda. She was in her usual backstage gear—boots, leggings, her own tee-shirt, and Piper’s jacket. The Women’s title was draped over her shoulder.

           “You’ve spent more time in the ring with Dean Ambrose than by yourself,” Ronda spat. “There are half a dozen women on the Raw roster better than you.”

           “And I beat every one that stepped in front of me,” I retorted, stepping away from the others. My heart raced in my chest. I knew her reputation—both from MMA and from the people she’d faced in the WWE ring. “The only one I haven’t beat is you, and that’s just because you’ve been too scared to step into the ring with me.”

           The bravado in my words surprised even me. I fought the urge to swallow, to look nervous.

           Ronda moved closer, going toe to toe with me. “The only thing I’m scared of, little girl, is how I’m going to explain ripping your arms out of their sockets.”

           I gave her a smirk of my own, cracking my knuckles like Dean did during promos. “Just remember, Ronda… when you get in the ring with me, you get in the ring with a big dog, with a lunatic, and someone who will burn everything you love to ashes. You might be the baddest woman on the planet, but I’m the most fearless.”

           A second ticked by. I grinned. “Believe that.”

Tag List

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[tossertozier]

hey toss so.... oc for mike hanlon huh? .... you wanna share ?? please. my boy mike needs all the love

okay well I Didn’t Want to Say bc idk if it would one day make it into something (y’all know I be… protective of things that might one day be Other Things) but here she is I’ve been thinking about her for… days:

So: college. Mike Hanlon goes to a lot of it in my version of modern no-it au eventually. Bc he decides to be a history/sociology professor.

Specifically, in grad school, I hc him as very popular. Especially in his crime and punishment class, (lots of discussion on the deviance theories, docile bodies, etc.) as ¼ black people in the class, and the only black guy, he has some opinions- and the class is pretty content to listen to him talk.

and one day he’s talking about the impact of institution on individuality in the frame work of public schooling, and a tiny, thus far entirely quiet girl, with pin-straight black hair framing her face and glasses that are slightly too large for a small face that introduces herself as Jane, politely raises her hands and points out every flaw and inconsistency in his theory. Mike is so surprised he doesn’t even begin to have words to bring himself back. But she’s… right. He didn’t even really go to public school. He’d never seen it at that angle.

and mike… is kind of pissed.

to be honest, he hasn’t really been challenged like that since he got passed his junior year of college. The other thing about it is Jane doesn’t even seem… to like him that much. Mike is … popular there. Everyone likes him. It bothers him she doesn’t!

The next time she talks, he listens intently. He’s taking Notes. he’s rEady. He’s gonna Point Out something about it after she Destroyed him like that. But she’s prepared too. They go back and forth so long their professor reminds them about “dialogue” and “class participation” and “stepping up and then stepping back.”

When they get their final project assignments he is 👏🏻 ready 👏🏻. There’s one topic on the sheet that is marked by their professor to see him before embarking. He chooses it.

He finds out, so does Jane.

It’s… a lot. It’s more than he bargained for, trying to frame a sociological argument around a fictional fable about a fictional scenario. the word Omelas has lost its meaning.

He sees Jane in the library, with the big tombs on her desk, the ones no one can even check out. The exact ones he came to read.

He’s upset, but he sits it out, figuring she’ll give them back eventually, and sets out to do his other work. He spares a look for her every few minutes. He can wait her out.

After about two hours, someone taps on his shoulder. “I’m gonna be here all night.” She tells him, “you can sit with me and use them,” she gestures over her shoulder “if you want.” Her hair is piled on top of her head with a giant red scrunchy. He wants to brush all the little hairs falling into her eyes out of her face. He, obviously, doesn’t do that, but he does sit with her. They work in silence for most of the time.

Jane pushes him to do good work. To think more astutely, to speak more succinctly. She never questions him out of pettiness, or to simply prove him wrong. She just doesn’t stand down when he’s either not correct or not fully thought through his words. Plus, when he finally, finally makes her laugh by making a bunny out of their mutual crumpled papers, she snorts. It might be because it’s three am in a fucking desolate library, but it’s truly the sweetest sound Mike has ever heard.

Before the presentation he’s nervous. He knows they’ve both worked hard, but he also knows they’ve chosen the same topic. They’ll be directly compared, and damn does he want to come out on top. He thinks he’s proved himself already in the class, but he just really wants to make the stronger point, here, because he doesn’t know if he has yet that semester.

He and Jane, or Yukawa Jitsuko, as he sees neatly printed on the top of her academic roster for the next semester one day, hit their topic from the exact. Same. Angle. He watches with awe as she makes every point he’s about to.

When it’s his turn to go he says “y’all, I swear we didn’t work together on this-“ but proceeds with his project as planned. His professor, who’s watched this little rivalry they’ve had all semester, laughs her ass off, and fully believes them.

And they both get bold, red B+’s on their projects. For not “fully realizing the nuances in the prompt.” Both are furious, even if they both still have Solid a’s in the class. They /finally/ team up as they /both/ challenge the grade in long, similar yet not identical essays, that they knew some of the aspects that the professor referred too, but mentioning such concepts would create an unfocused assignment.

One night, mike actually falls asleep on their table in the cafe, and he wakes up when a hand smacks the table in between them, startling him. “This B+,” she tells him fiercely, “is going down with or without you, Michael Hanlon.” And she returns to her computer. And mike tries. He triiiies, but for the rest of the night all he can think about is kissing off that frustrated little frown. He doesn’t because, frankly, he knows quite well that she’d kill him.

but he does get her to go out to breakfast with him the next day. And she tells him about her cat that won’t eat food that isn’t on the direct floor and he tells her about his friends from home and she talks about her affinity for headbands because “why would I want my hair in my face when it could. Not be. Why would I want that?” And he tells her “I know, logically I know, buying expensive sneakers is really, really dumb. But I still … want them?” But then Jane takes that and runs with it and talks about conformity within community. And they stay there until the water has separated in their ice coffee and the waitress wants them dead.

And mike?? Has dated, don’t get me wrong. But he’s like… he’s courting her?? He brings her her favorite snack and offers her his jacket and demonstrates his value and he doesn’t know what decade he crawled tf out of but he’s just like GOTTA IMPRESS HER and texting the groupchat and Richie is like “you don’t like her unless you put your jacket over puddles.” and Stan’s like “fuck that put your whole body on the puddle.” And bev is like “shut the actual fuck up guys, just ask her out mike, she will say yes.”

And so they submit their appeal to their professor in the library at a sensible two in the afternoon. Finals are done. Mikes never been so tired. and Jane turns to him and says “so, do you want to get coffee?” And he says “but we’re done the paper?” And she squints at him and is like “I’m aware, Michael.” And he be like oh. OOOHHH. but he’s Pumped and picks up her bag anyway and asks her opinion in puddles and she snorts and flicks his ear but they’re giggling and mike is just so happy to have someone that pushes him and makes him his best self. And wants to kiss him??? DOUBLE WIN.

(But he’s lowkey pretty happy when he finds out her major is bio-ethics. God knows what would happen if they shared a degree path.)

[rebel-band]

Track 4. Soul, Meet Body

Meguro was in perfect bloom this April, and even the most common neighborhood places were insta worthy when the cherry trees blissfully rained their petals over heads of passers-by with every gust of the warm wind. Tourists flooded the otherwise silent riverbanks, walking along the promenade in hope of a memorable photo angle, and locals hurried through narrow alleyways away from the buzzing crowd into the everyday, sweeping the petals into fragile floral flurries with each step.

The scenery was gorgeous, something you discovered anew and fell in love with each year, and yet, standing in front of the new school, Tennoko could hardly enjoy the view, with thoughts racing through his head like buses at a busy terminal.

Was he too early? God, he was, definitely making a fool of himself just standing there in front of the gate. He should have just met them on the way. But it was harder to coordinate their commute now that Hideo had moved and Tomomi's wasn't really en route to the new school anymore. They'd figure it out eventually, he was sure, but for now he was entirely on his own, a nervous gnawing in his chest at the sight of other students.

They were already going towards the building, some of them maybe even his new classmates, and he tried to look oh so casual and even sent some of them an approachable smile but was pretty sure none of it was working, and they'd all just remember him as the tall awkward guy. He sighed, stomach turning another flip as he looked at the unknown faces around.

The genes had finally caught up with him this year and fast, and Tennoko felt that even over the short spring break he had grown taller again. He was overtaking Hideo in height now, and he had outgrown Tomomi already. Whatever medically accurate reassurance he got that it was all perfectly normal at his age, or encouragement that he could make a great midfielder with the height, did not make it any less of a surprise. He felt awkward in this new body changing shape and size whether he liked it or not, all lanky limbs and cracking voice and constant appetite.

He tugged at the sleeves of the uniform and smoothed the blazer, then adjusted the shoulder strap of his bag again.

At least the new uniform was better than the middle school one. If anything, the navy blazer and the tie made him feel a bit more mature and well put together than the fluffy cream cardigan they had to wear in middle school. Because that thing had just made him look like a frigging Mareep, what with his face round and still a bit childish, and a single curl always in front of his side swept bangs.

The navy blue also made his eyes stand out, and that was pretty much the only feature he liked about himself at this time of his life.

Nine was approaching fast and the guys were nowhere in sight. He looked around again, nervously glancing at his phone, hoping that he wouldn't need to brave the auditorium for the opening ceremony alone. Finally, Tennoko spotted Hajima running from across the street, and sighed with relief.

"You're late," he narrowed his eyes as Hideo's face widened in a grin at his sight.

His uniform, tie and shirt were perfectly pressed but his bag was unzipped, the syllabus and notebooks peeking out, and his hair was still a bit damp, dark brown streaks clinging to his forehead.

Tennoko forced himself not to scruff it into place.

"I knew you'd look cute in the new uniform," Hajima swallowed another grin eyeing him.

"Wasn't exactly going for cute but thanks," Tennoko rolled his eyes. There was no way to be angry at Hideo, not really, his freckles and smile be damned.

"What were you going for?"

"Brooding intellectual," he fixed his glasses on the nose and Hajima snorted.

"First class geek you mean," there was a laugh from behind, and Tennoko stuttered forwards with a quick push of an elbow to his side.

"Sure, right back at you," he snickered, noticing a new Crimson Blade key chain hanging from the zipper on his friend's school bag as Motoki Tomomi jumped from behind to say hello. He grinned and exchanged a bro handshake with Hideo.

"Where's your tie?" Tennoko asked.

"Thought I'd upgrade my image a bit, you know. The ladies man, a bit of a bad boy," he wiggled his eyebrows and propped the collar of his shirt up. With the short hair and the cheeky grin he had a sort of rogue charm around him.

"You're going to get told off on the first day. Again," Tennoko sighed.

"Don't kill my vibe, Hikaru," he replied, crossing his arms. "Can you believe it though, same school. We made it," he looked at them, then at the building behind their backs.

"Same class too," Hajima smiled, looking at Tennoko.

"Three more years stuck together, what a nightmare," Tennoko grinned at them both.

They all chortled.

As a pair of girls passed them hurrying towards the school, Motoki sighed, "Oh dear gods, please let there be fine girls in our class."

Hideo just rolled his eyes, too polite to join in on that kind of wishful thinking, and Tennoko shook his head.

"What?" Tomomi shrugged "I'm over that breakup and ready for something new, aren't you?"

Hajima made a face and ran a hand through his hair. "Just make sure you don't screw it up too fast or you'll be awkwardly stuck with her for the rest of high school," he said and Motoki mouthed fuck off in response with the politest of smiles. "What about you?" Hideo asked.

"Relationships with me never work out, you guys know that," Tennoko pulled the collar of his shirt as he tried laughing it off.

"Only 'cause they don't start, idiot," Tomomi shook his head, and he might have called him names but there was tenderness to it and concern in his voice.

"Well, I'm sure you guys will do just fine," Tennoko smiled and scruffed their heads in an affectionate manner.

Then he wrapped an arm around their backs and took a selfie of all three of them grinning in the new uniform. It came out perfect.

Already on their way, he sent it to a family group chat. Mom replied with three clapping hands emoji. The uncles responded too.

"Kick ass, kid" Naota said, obligatory football emoji at the end.

"Just not literally," Satoshi added, and Tennoko snickered imagining his strict expression.

The heart and the head, age old feud between these two. One Tennoko was partial to in his own life as well.

He took another look at the photo, then at Tomomi and Hideo's backs as they paved the way towards the auditorium chatting and joking, and he felt sunshine creep into his heart, dispelling any doubt he'd had on this first day of school.

Here they were -- the soul to his body.

Whatever things they'd discover in this new adventure, he was sure they would be there for him, always. Helping him navigate through life, one crisis at a time.

Around the third day of the school year the class has finally started to come together and feel a bit more relaxed, healthy buzzing and laughing during breaks a good sign things were going well with getting to know each other.

Though Tennoko had worried so many times over the spring break that starting relations with the new classmates would be uncomfortable to say the least, surprisingly, it wasn't a disaster at all.

Somehow the guys already figured out that he was indeed the nephew of Japan's best shooter, which earned him the usual bragging rights, though he knew he had yet to prove himself during a sparring match in PE -- as if the fact that his uncle represented Japan on the national team carried over to his own skills in football. Luckily, he'd had his share of practice and love for it so he wasn't too worried about tarnishing the family name and honour.

His long lasting friendship with Hideo meant he was also comfortable discussing baseball with the guys, having watched countless games with Hajima and listened to him explain the rules and gameplay, and having seen him play practically since they were kids.

And his love of gaming and all things geek came in handy too because in this day and age who didn't play video games, read comics, and followed heroes across the big screen each year anyway.

He didn't have time yet to hang out much with the girls but was positively thrilled to learn that some of them were also going to see Lana this summer, so they already made plans to attend the concert together. Because as much as Hideo and Tomomi didn't mind his affinity for angsty pop divas in glitter gowns, they weren't really keen to join him on such a gig wearing a flower crown.

They were waiting for the homeroom to start on the first period that day, and Tennoko spaced out a little taking in the buzz and feeling surprisingly at ease in the new surroundings.

He looked to his right. The way people were seated, there was an empty student desk beside him. He wondered if the class was going to be one short, and if so why there was still an extra seat left.

"I heard we were going to get a foreigner in class. I guess that was just rubbish," laughed a girl in a group in the front row.

As the homeroom teacher Mr. Yamashita rolled in, his heavy frame almost too big for the doorway, all students dispersed to their seats and gossip ceased.

"There was a misunderstanding with the roster of students but we have figured things out now. Please join us," from the desk he waved at the door, and as it slid open, the class went even more silent at the sight of the newcomer.

He was all broad shoulders and confident walk, straight back, and chest out like a shield once he stood in front of the whole class. His mid length hair was tied up into a half ponytail, and his face was lightly sun-kissed as if it still had some summer tan left from last year. Though he didn't say anything yet, he already had an expression of someone annoyed with the situation, brows pulled in and mouth set into a tight line. The cuffs of his blazer were turned up. To say he was tall was an understatement. He looked like he was going to outgrow the uniform any second.

"Please welcome your fellow student, Ko-kun," Yamashita-sensei read out from the updated roster as the guy customarily scribbled his name on the blackboard.

To everyone's surprise, he wrote it in katakana and Korean side by side. Someone let out a barely audible gasp.

"Ko Yoo-mi. Nice to meet you," he didn't bow, just introduced himself in fluent Japanese in a melodic yet kind of harsh voice, which made Tennoko wonder at his accent.

"Take a seat, Ko-kun," the teacher said, and suddenly, all eyes in the class on the single empty chair, Tennoko realised he was going to have company after all.

He swallowed nervously.

"You've come to know each other a bit so we'll be voting for a class representative today," the teacher addressed the whole class as if the arrival of a new student was no reason enough to disrupt his usual lesson plan. "Volunteers write your names on the sheets. Motoki, no leaning in the chair!"

As the newcomer placed his shoulder bag by the desk, and unzipped it to take out a notebook, Tennoko noticed what he thought looked like the newest issue of Young Guitar magazine peeking through between books.

Just this moment, the stranger sent him a do you mind kind of look, his eyes so dark they looked almost black, and Tennoko startled.

As the day passed, he noticed the newcomer avoided any sort of interaction with others during breaks, conveniently leaving the classroom to do his own thing. During lunchtime the guy was nowhere to be seen, which fueled the gossip even more. At the end of the day, when they changed their shoes in the locker room and walked in groups to get some ramen or to the arcade, the whole class was talking about one thing only -- the Korean.

[msbigredmachine]

You Consume Me - A Roman Reigns Short Story - Part 1

She was beautiful, tempting, carefree, and everything I thought I wanted in a woman. One taste and I was hooked, abandoning everything and everyone I cared about to be with her. What I failed to see was the other side of her; a side that was dark, dangerous...

Deadly.

A/N: A long time ago I read a fic that resonated so deeply within me it blew my mind. I looked for it online not too long ago and couldn't find it. But I'll never forget it. This story is largely inspired by that one. I hope you like it.

PART 1: THE FIRST HIT

It was like encountering a beautiful storm and being smack in the middle of its eye. That's the only way I can describe what I went through with her.

She breezed in and out of my life, staying just long enough to spin me around and turn my whole world upside down. Just like the wind, she danced away, slipping right through my fingers just when I thought I had caught up with her. Everything about her was so complicated, yet so simple. She was mysterious yet obvious, elusive yet omnipresent, caring yet spiteful. Complex. Complicated. And if you mentioned all of that to her, she'd laugh and tell you she was the most straightforward person you'd ever meet.

Falling in love with her was dangerous but inevitable. Getting to know her, being with her made me feel powerful yet powerless at the same time. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't help myself from getting swept up in her essence, and when I fell in love, I fell hard.

But it nearly killed me.

The first time I met her was on a late spring night in the middle of May. I will never forget it. I was in Orlando, having just wrestled in front of a live Monday Night Raw audience as part of the newly unveiled NXT brand. We'd spent weeks traveling around the country with the main roster, exploiting our chance to showcase ourselves to a larger audience before we returned to Full Sail University, our home. At that point I was a relative unknown in the wrestling business, so I was convinced she had no idea who I was, that she'd shown interest in me simply because I was a nice guy.

For some ungodly reason, the Big Show and Mark Henry had a sudden craving for Krispy Kreme doughnuts that night, and I was assigned the unenviable task of retrieving their late night snack. With my own money, for that matter. Being a lowly rookie, I knew better than to refuse their demands. I asked for one of my three roommates to accompany me, but Jey refused to go out at such an ungodly hour, not when it wasn't a nightclub we were going to. Seth agreed with Jey, Jimmy wasn’t around to back me up, and Dean couldn't have cared less. He was busy with some girl he'd met at the arena. So that left me all alone, to pull out my wallet and take the long, lonely walk to the store and back. I knew this was a test by the veterans, like some kind of initiation to prove to the older guys in the locker room that I know my place.

But even with that, all I can remember, truly remember from that night, is her.

She was leaning against a beat-up black Audi Sedan, her long jet-black hair floating around her in soft waves and her green eyes gleaming in the golden glow of the nearby street light. She didn't take her gaze off me as I walked past her with a box of doughnuts in my hands. I remember thinking that time that she might have been a…lady of the night, if you will. I was too polite to refer to her as a prostitute, at least not to her face.

"Got a lighter?"

Those were the first words she ever said to me. To this day, I still hear that voice, low, seductive, self-assured. I remember how it gripped me in place, how I felt compelled to give her a reply. I can still smell her; that exotic, flowery yet powerful scent that blended with the late night breeze. It's a scent that has never left my nostrils.

To say that I was nervous when she first spoke to me would be an understatement. My palms became sweaty and my pulse accelerated, certain I was about to be mugged. It was around two in the morning after all and we were in a virtually empty parking lot with no one else in sight. I kept thinking of those ghastly Crime and Investigation programs where victims disappeared never to be seen again, and when they were they were either in a ditch somewhere or in chopped up pieces in a cookie jar or whatever. Still, I found myself speaking back, vaguely wondering why such a beautiful girl who looked around my age would be killing her lungs with those cancer sticks.

"Sorry, I’m not allowed to smoke," I said.

Her smile was the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen. “That’s too bad.”

And with those couple of words exchanged between us, the storm began to brew.

--------------------

I saw her every day for the rest of that week. I never touched her, not inappropriately anyway, and she never made any advances towards me like I expected she would. She gave me her address that first night. "If you ever want to talk," she'd added as she told me. I had no pen or paper to write it down, but I never forgot it either. I was at her front door the very next day. The way we talked, the way I was at ease with her was as if I'd known her all my life. She wasn't particularly snoopy, just asked me what a nice-looking young guy like myself had been doing wandering around so late at night. I explained my minor dilemma with the Big Show and Mark Henry to her, choosing not to mention their names or anything about my job. I didn't think I was ready to give her more details than that, telling her I was a wrestler and all. I wanted her to be interested in me for who I was, not what I did for a living. However, she never pressed me; never asked for more than I was ready to give.

NXT was starting to make big waves in the wrestling industry, and we were soon selling out venues outside Orlando. The night before we were to go on the road, I insisted on taking her out for dinner, even if it was just a takeout or something. It was the least I could do after letting me into her home for days without asking for anything in return. Luckily she agreed, and we went to a Denny's. I don't think I've ever enjoyed a meal as much as I did that night. We didn't leave the restaurant for another three hours. I nearly got in trouble with Dusty and William Regal and the other boys for missing curfews all the past few days, and I risked more trouble again, but it didn't matter to me. She was all I could think about.

This night, I kissed her. As we said goodbye and she turned to walk up the steps to her house, I pulled her back and pressed my lips to hers. To my delight, she kissed me back, running her fingers over the back of my neck. The hairs stood on end, dazed and giddy that this was actually happening. The kiss lasted less than a minute, but it was forever embossed on my brain. She tasted like fresh mint, a flavor I personally crave to this day.

The boys and I returned to Orlando a month later with our name bigger than when we left off, but that was not my main concern. I looked for my mystery girl but she was nowhere to be found. Her apartment had been rented out to someone else, and no one at the building had details of her whereabouts. She'd just vanished into thin air. I nearly went insane. I'd waited an entire month to see her again and she was gone, just like that, without any warning or notice.

The boys thought I was out of my mind to get this wound up over a girl I barely really knew. She obviously didn't care about me enough to let me know she was leaving. Maybe it was for the better, they said. I didn't believe them. They didn't know her. They didn't understand how our relationship worked.

Seth soon pulled me aside and told me to snap out of it. If we were meant to be, I would see her again. For now, I needed to focus on the work at hand. We were at a crucial stage in our career as members of the newly-formed trio The Shield, and there were whispers of us about to hit the main roster very soon. It could make or break us and he and Dean were depending on me. He was right, and so I forced myself to banish all thoughts of her.

It was Seth, coincidentally, who introduced me to Melody. She was about our age and was modelling our women’s merchandise to be printed on the company’s website. Seth kept harping about how pretty she was and I should go talk to her. Eventually I did, and I didn't regret it. She was gorgeous, witty and charming. It wasn't long before we were dating. I couldn't have asked for a better woman to be my girlfriend.

Yet, I kept thinking about her.

----------------

The Shield made their long-awaited debut at the Survivor Series pay-per-view, dispatching of Ryback by power-bombing him through an announce table. The next couple of months were a complete whirlwind. We were recognized everywhere we went and we loved the attention from the press and the WWE fans. It was incredible. Dean, Seth and I had waited for this moment for so long, a dream that we'd all shared, and it was finally ours.

One night back in Orlando, a group of us decided to hit a club, and Melody and Dean's flavor of the week, Chelsea or something, were invited. Melody tried to get me out on the dance floor but I was tired from the busy week and just was not feeling up to it. With a shrug, she went off to the dance floor with some of the girls from work.

A while later I leaned over the balcony of the VIP section, looking down at the party-goers on the dance floor below me. Seth as usual was surrounded by women, and Dean and Shelly – I think – were grinding up a storm beside Nikki, Brie and Melody. My eyes wandered idly over the rest of the floor.

Then I saw her.

I couldn't believe it. It had been nearly six months from the last time I'd seen her. There she was in the corner of the club, straddling some sleazebag who was groping her and had his tongue jammed down her throat. She seemed not to care at all. Seeing her in his arms like that made me feel betrayed, despite being with Melody.

As though feeling like she was being watched, she looked up, turned her head, and across several yards and one floor between us, our eyes met. I watched, almost paralyzed by the familiar lazy smile that spread across her red lips. Man, this woman was trouble, but I knew deep down inside me that she was the kind of trouble that I would always want, no matter what.

All of a sudden, the music seemed too loud, there was too much noise, the club was too crowded, everything seemed too much for me to bear. I jerked away from the balcony railing as though I'd been electrocuted, rushing out of the club and ducking into a dark alley, I leaned against the brick wall of the building, breathing heavily, fighting back tears, and cursing myself for feeling like this. For missing her when she clearly didn’t miss me.

That was how she found me. She looked absolutely amazing, from her skin-tight red dress to her long, flowing hair and those long legs that I suddenly, desperately wanted to feel wrapped around my waist. Her eyes sparkled in amusement.

"It's been a while, Mr. Reigns."

If I said anything in reply, I don't remember. I only remember that that night was the first time we had sex. First in that alley right there, then back at her home, where we went at it all night. It was the greatest night of my life. I'd had a couple of girlfriends and even groupies before, but none of them did what she did to me. None of them made me feel the way I did that night. I couldn't find enough adjectives to describe my experience. She blew me away, literally and figuratively, and once again, I knew I would only want more from her, more with her.

When I showed up at the hotel the next morning, it seemed as though a search party was about to be deployed for me. Regal got on my case for being late – again – and straying from the group. Seth berated me for being careless while Melody, with hurt in her eyes, quietly asked me where I'd disappeared to. They all looked at me with disappointment in their expressions, and I lied right to their faces without batting an eyelid. Made up some excuse and walked off to text her about how amazing last night was. I felt no guilt or remorse. All I cared about was that I'd spent an incredible night with an incredible woman, and nothing they said would bring me down from my high.

Nothing.

END OF PART 1

---------------

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[placetobenation]

There’s a lot to cover with Beth Phoenix. This might be a long one. She packed an extraordinary amount into her six year career, playing every conceivable role, fighting men and women, inventing angles, being a workhorse, and having more legitimately great matches than any other woman of the Divas Era. She also had more of my personal dream matches than any other wrestler.

When I say dream matches, I mean right from the word go. Beth lowkey debuted in 2006 at the arse end of the Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James storyline, for reasons. Her first match was a tag opposite Victoria and within two seconds of them touching I IMMEDIATELY needed all the Beth vs. Victoria matches. The good news is this wish was granted the week after. The bad news is that Beth broke her jaw in it and disappeared and there were never any more Beth vs. Victoria matches.

Those first main roster appearances were merely a tease, both of Beth herself and of the feeling of wanting her to wrestle everyone in sight.

A full year later she returned with A CAPE, the Glamazon persona and a monster heel push to match, steamrolling the roster on her way to beating Candice Michelle for the title. The Candice feud is amazing. A-MA-ZING, particularly for the way that Beth went into it as a bit of a stiff, and came out of it as a confident, dominating monster, completely transformed. Candice deserves all the credit in the world for that, but that’s another song.

Once she put the pieces together, Beth was a fucking force. She had unbelievable timing, knowing exactly when to let someone run around her and when to cut them off, and when she cut them off she was merciless. BAM clothesline! BAM backbreaker! BAM mid-air catching slingshot backdrop driver from HELLLLLLLL!

She brutalized smaller girls like Maria, Candice and Kelly Kelly. She had a long-running rivalry with Mickie James where they amassed a laundry list of killer matches. Mickie was her perfect foil, a hard working babyface who could push her to the limit before being caught and splatted. And Beth did splat her, and everyone else. She was dominant as all get out.

And then she looked at Melina sideways.

Beth Phoenix Dream Match Alert.

Now Melina, once again, was the baddest motherfucker on the planet. Her and Beth were both heels but after a three-way with Mickie at the end of 2007 I IMMEDIATELY needed all the Beth vs. Melina matches. Then one day Melina cost Beth a chance to regain the title which she had just lost to Mickie in an EPIC match in London. Beth was understandably pissed, and paid her back a week later by walking out on their tag team match and then chewing Melina out backstage for good measure.

This was TERRIFYING. Beth was banging on and Melina was getting hotter and hotter and I was fearing for Beth’s ENTIRE life. Melina finally snapped and hit her but Beth just picked her up above her head and DRILLED her into a locker over and over until she stopped moving and was probably dead.

THIS WAS TWICE AS TERRIFYING. Beth had dominated all the women for almost a year, but absolutely nothing she did was as scary as taking the legitimately frightening and mass murderous Melina and just annihilating her to death like it wasn’t nothin’.

From there they engaged in basically one big brawl for the next month. They would scrap constantly and crowds would be eating it up and chanting “LET THEM FIGHT!” and it was all so completely violent and awesome. So they let them fight at the One Night Stand PPV, I Quit, where Beth literally had to bend Melina into unnatural and suspiciously pretzel-like shapes before she said the words. If you can find me a better heel vs. heel match in company history, bring it to me. This thing is UNBELIEVABLE.

Beth sure did love twisting Melina around like she was Play-Doh though. It reached a level at their rematch at Royal Rumble 2009 when Beth picked up Melina’s foot and beat her in the back of her own head with it, which I’m pretty sure broke all of the known laws of physics. Beth also specialized in pulling off other wacky ass feats of strength, like picking two people up at once into a DOUBLE BACKBREAKER.

Or like, you know, beating up men.

Like The Great Khali, whom she eliminated from the Royal Rumble. Or CM Punk, whom she lariated the shit out of during that match. Or Santino Marella. Be still my beating heart.

Beth deserves a shit ton of credit for the Glamarella angle. We love to heap praise on male wrestlers like Chris Jericho or Mick Foley for writing their own storylines. Well, Beth came up with Glamarella. I feel like she can dine out on that one for quite a while.

It was a perfect pairing. Santino was the goofiest wrestler in history. Beth was very dominant, and very serious, and when Santino made an open challenge to ANYONE, she took that seriously too. She beat Santino up and pinned him to win the match, then she flexed at him and he BUMPED ALL THE WAY TO THE FLOOR IN FEAR. My man. (If you watch this back, the people go apeshit when she wins and Beth is so overjoyed that they pulled it off just like she dreamed it that she can’t stop beaming. Bless.)

AND THE NEXT WEEK IT GOT A HUNDRED TIMES BETTER.

Beth came out again to continue the fight with Santino… or so she probably thought. They grabbed a waistlock, wrestled around for a minute, and then stopped. And stared. Santino grabbed her hair and waited, giving her every chance to fight him off. But Beth grabbed him back, and THEY KISSED for like 1.7 seconds before breaking apart, bewildered. Santino tried REALLY HARD not to look too pleased in case she beat the shit out of him again. And Beth looked like she had no earthly idea what had remotely possessed her to do that. And it was all so EXCELLENT.

As their relationship developed from there it was clear just how perfect a pairing it was. Santino Marella is the greatest comedian in the history of WWE, don’t @ me. Beth Phoenix might be the greatest straight man in company history as well. They were gold together. Santino just Santino’d all over the place with his hi-jinks, and Beth was there to roll her eyes and show that she did, somehow, like this guy, but she maybe wasn’t entirely sure… why. Beth was basically his heavy, saving him from trouble, carrying him on HER shoulders, and just generally being the dominant one. Very Chyna-esqe, but Beth was VASTLY better than Chyna in every single way, and frankly, Santino was way better than Triple H as well.

Anyway, at no time was this dynamic more apparent than during the mini feud they had with Batista.

BETH PHOENIX DREAM MATCH ALERT.

For a fun few weeks Santino kept mouthing off about Batista and landing himself in hot water, squealing and cowering whenever he came face to face with Big Dave. Beth, on the other hand, stepped up to him and slapped him in the face. When this happened I LOST ALLLLLL OF MY SHIT AND I IMMEDIATELY NEEDED ALL THE BETH VS. DAVE MATCHES. Sadly, that was one that never materialized.

There was one that did, however.

Soon after Gail Kim returned to WWE in 2009, her and Beth were in a random six-man and within half a second I did immediately need all of the Beth vs. Gail Kim matches. They brushed past one another a couple times – a tag match here, a battle royal there – and I was completely sold but they never had a singles match, and I became obsessed with this white whale of a match I thought I’d never see. Every time it came up, that was my #1 dream match.

Finally a whole two years later, Superstars in 2011 proved it was the king of all the C Shows and randomly booked my dream match, just like that. I went embarrassingly ballistic. And after all that anticipation, Beth and Gail went out there and ran absolutely stark raving wild for a whole four minutes and made all my dreams come true. They even shook hands afterwards like they knew they’d just delivered a workrate dream match for the people. And they did. Nobody has ever been more excited about a four minute C Show match than I was watching Beth Phoenix vs. Gail Kim.

Again, this is the beauty of Beth, the idea of her facing really anyone at all is exciting. Having a tiny little thing like Kelly or Maria to beat up? Interesting! Having a worker like Mickie or Gail to run around with? Sounds good! She wants to step to some male wrestler? Sign me up! She wants to give Jack Swagger’s Soaring Eagle mascot a Glam Slam for no apparent reason? Go nuts Beth!

That really did happen, by the way. Beth was so keen to do comedy that sometimes I wonder if she was just a classic stooging heel trapped in Beth Phoenix’s body. But really I think it just shows her incredible versatility. Being a bigger, powerful woman in a sea of Divas, it would have been the easiest thing in the world for Beth Phoenix to just be the monster heel. And she was so fantastic at it. But she was capable of so much more, and always wanted to show it. She could switch from dominant heel to bumbling around and getting rolled up, and still turn around and dominate again without losing her credibility. She could talk and act and show vulnerability and cry when needed. She could do ALL of the comedy, and was the perfect straight woman. And she was a super fun dominant babyface, but could also sell and garner sympathy, even with smaller opponents.

She even ran as a tweener for a while, straddling the line. What most people don’t remember about the Piggie James angle is how involved Beth Phoenix was – as Laycool teased the shit out of Mickie, Beth was caught in the middle, deciding who she’d rather beat up. After a few months of crowds begging Beth to do the right thing, she gave in to temptation and became a good guy.

From the jump Beth knew what the people really wanted: moves that spin around and fiery babyface comebacks. Her first move as a face was to bust out an AIRPLANE SPIN, and I mean, you just can’t beat that. She also added the GIANT SWING, and just generally had a bunch of fun spinning people around in a circle and lariating their heads off.

Plus, look at that sweet face. Who wants to boo this woman anyway?

Beth was a lot of fun as a babyface. My favorite part was how she became like a big sister to the other faces on Smackdown – Kelly Kelly and Tiffany. She’d team up with them and save them from beatdowns and ruffle their hair affectionately. One time during a tag team match, she did all the damage and then gestured to Kelly to say, “here, you can have this one”, and let her tag in and take the pin, like a present. ADORABLE.

*heart eyes emoji*

The only thing about this little ray of sunshine run is that it ended so soon and so tragically. Beth won the Women’s Title off Michelle McCool at Extreme Rules 2010 in a fun plunder match, but a couple weeks later she did her ACL and had to have surgery. Of course, fate would have it that the next week SmackDown was IN BUFFALO where she entered as the newly-crowned champion hometown hero, only to lose the title and be left laying on one leg crying miserable tears. I can’t even.

By the damn way, can we just stop to appreciate that Beth Phoenix was working on a busted ACL and SHE STILL PICKED UP TWO WOMEN ON HER SHOULDERS IN A DOUBLE BACKBREAKER ON ONE LEG.

Speaking of can we just, she had barely been back from this injury a month before DYING FOR OUR SINS at TLC in the first ever women’s Tables match vs. Laycool. A lot happens in this match but the main thing was Beth Phoenix bumping on her head to her absolute death over and over. She went full Trish here. In fact, when called upon Beth always did lean in and take some terrific shots; there’s a moment at Extreme Rules vs. Michelle where she eats shit on a pile of ironing boards (don’t ask). Beth could take some big bumps yo.

Now of course, that Tables Match involved Natalya too, and we gotta talk about Beth and Nattie. They were fun as a babyface powerhouse team in late 2010. They were AWESOME once they turned heel in the summer of 2011, became the Divas of Doom and went after Kelly Kelly. They were the perfect foils for Kelly as they railed against “Barbie dolls” in the division, and my God, those Beth vs. Kelly matches were just… *kisses fingers*

Beth and Kelly had amazing chemistry. The 2011 series was outstanding, subsequent matches were really good too, and even early on when Kelly was much greener, they always had fun with Beth just beating on her. This is what I’m talking about with Beth – even if I’m not specifically shouting DREAM MATCH, she just matches up so well with so many people in really exciting ways.

Back to the Divas of Doom, man, they literally invented a submission move just so they could tie all the pretty girls in knots and shove a mic in their faces while they screamed and cried. Wild. On a related note, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that Beth and Nattie had also taken to wearing bomb ass dresses on telly every week, calling themselves Pinup Strong, and there’s a moment one day on Smackdown where Nattie is beating up Kelly on the floor and Beth is sitting on the stairs in a dress watching on looking incredible and I’m pretty sure this 20 seconds of TV added about five years to my lifespan.

Somehow Beth and Natalya existed on TV together for over four years without ever facing each other one on one. Oh yes, Beth Phoenix Dream Match Alert.

When Beth was heading out the door in 2012, serendipity lead to her having one last SmackDown TV taping in Buffalo, and it was there in her hometown that she and Nattie finally got to have a match. You can see just how over the moon they are, and as tradition held they went absolutely stark raving wild for four whole minutes, including the one and only time in her career that anyone kicked out of the Glam Slam. A parting gift from Beth Phoenix. She had a couple more matches after that, but having her moment with Nattie in the ring and crying it out with her afterwards was about as appropriate a sendoff as you could get. Like so many of these women, she went out on her shield, putting the work in.

Beth always put the work in, she was a trooper. She is also a total sweetheart and I’m so happy for the last couple of years where she’s got to go into the Hall of Fame (best speech ever, don’t @ me either), be in the first Women’s Royal Rumble and now get this commentary gig. She deserves it all.

So this week was in celebration of a great wrestler. Next week will be… not that. And guys, trust me, you ain’t ready.

Check it out: Candice Michelle vs. Beth Phoenix – Women’s Title (No Mercy 2007) Beth vs. Mickie vs. Melina – Women’s Title (Raw, December 31st 2007) Beth Phoenix vs. Mickie James – Women’s Title (Raw, April 14th 2008) Beth Phoenix vs. Melina – I Quit (One Night Stand 2008) Beth Phoenix vs. Melina – Women’s Title (Royal Rumble 2009) Michelle McCool vs. Beth Phoenix – Women’s Title Extreme Makeover Rules (Extreme Rules 2010) Beth & Kelly vs. Laycool (Smackdown, April 30th 2010) Beth & Natalya vs. Laycool – Tables Match (TLC 2010) Beth Phoenix vs. Gail Kim (Superstars, June 30th 2011) Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly – Divas Title (Night of Champions 2011) Beth Phoenix vs. Eve – Divas Title (Vengeance 2011) Beth Phoenix vs. Natalya (Smackdown, September 28th 2012)