#anyway yeah these are just notes for myself i wanna write stuff exploring some of this stuff

[angstandhappiness]

INTERESTING

Mks angst - existential crisis. his friends being hurt or taken from him. Being abandoned. Failing. Being seen by others the same way they see swk maybe???

Swk angst - just indescribable physical pain being inflicted on him. Loneliness. Losing Mk

Mei angst - familial. Losing mk. (with the samadhi fire it was having a power she couldn't control ig but that was short-lived:( so) not being strong enough maybe???

Pigsy angst - losing his kid. Losing his shop. Being a lazy good for nothing. Being Zhu Bajie

Tang angst - being useless. Being left behind. Being seen as useless by his friends

Sandy angst - becoming violent/blackout rage. Causing harm

[thetownwecallhome]

TNBC Shower Thought #something: Jally is Asexuality (on this blog)

((OOC:

in the waning hours of Pride month, because I got really heated and fandom petty for no good reason and because I want to do something now (not that Pride is ever actually over, of course…), I wanna give you guys and updated rundown of how Jack and Sally were not only my first otp but how they sorta helped me be comfortable in my asexuality. Sorta. Kinda. Also I thought I had already written about this topic somewhere on this blog but I guess not.

--CW: no minors allowed, none of this gets graphic but I’m talking about my bodily autonomy stuff--

My sister getting really into TNBC and so myself by proxy was a turning point in my childhood. As a wee child I never actually finished watching the movies I liked, so the fact that Jack and Sally were an item always escaped me except for the merchandise which made it clear. As a budding 8-12 year old, finally watching it all the way through it was overwhelmingly sweet to have the movie end as it did. As (I think) mentioned by me and definitely others before, Jack is Sally’s ‘reward’ of sorts. Sally and Jack are not a couple in the movie they just hook up at the end, Sally just so happens to also be pining for Jack while also trying to stop him. Her song ends on the note that she has no expectation that Jack can or would be able to notice her; which is what makes it so gosh darn sweet that dummy problematic hero-antagonist Jack DOES notice Sally at last and realizes how important she is. It's the most adorable thing in the world. To be honest it still kinda is.

I was just starting puberty and it was the most romantic, most wonderful way in the world to end the movie. They were my original OTP. Sally stayed true to herself and was not only validated but got herself that himbone she wanted, and Jack learned he was being a jerk to his town, Santa and to Sally and the latter realization made him fall in love with her! Yeah it’s a rushed ending and not the height of writing, but it was such a good send off to the story. 

After that, it didn’t take long for me to develop other OTPs. Especially as I hit puberty I realized that some of my favorite couples were more sensual and intimate than others. I liked that sexual aspect and overflow of everything romantic in them as I still do today. I express what sexual interest I have through my -adult character- pairings. And by that I mean I really don’t/can’t see myself being sexual with another person or even a character. Even my OCxCanon ships aren’t made with the vibe of “mmmgod I want 1 from 9 soooo badly!” as much as I wanted someone to ship 1 with.

Shipping, to me, feels like I’m some cruel god of love and death; making up a billion scenarios for my shaps. That or a god of love and death who likes creeping on my shaps while they’re being intimate. I don’t know if this is the way other asexual/aroace people go about exploring their own sexuality, but it is mine. I’m sexual, not sex repulsed, but only in a way that’s comfortable for me and me alone and that I don’t want to be sharing that with other people. I don’t want people to see my smexual art made for just myself, not just because it’d probably bore some of you (I kin Speckle from Tuca and Bertie so hard with his 'boring wholesome porn'), but because I don’t want another person waning in on that intimacy. That’s my intimacy. For me. Just for me. I don’t think I’ll ever want a sexual partner.  Writing about the ships is enough for me sexual-interest wise…for most of my ships, anyway....

As I got back into TNBC through this blog, I tried doing the “okey now they get intimate”-card with Jack and Sally and it just feels…wrong to me? I can blush and be all flustered and talkative about any of my couples and favorite character -even the ones who don’t canonically have junk I don’t think- being all smexy and lovey-dovey. I can go on forever about the jokes to be made about ALL my other favorite character ships…but not JackxSally. For a while I just thought it was me just not being uncomfortable with characters from my early childhood being in a sexual context…but that doesn’t make sense cause my earliest favorite character in my memory has always been Lumiere from Beauty and the Beast and we ALL KNOW how sexual he is. I don’t find Jack and Sally physically unappealing, at least anymore than my -again- other fav characters who I picture getting intimate with each other.

Not to accidentally tease and/or show off that boring only-for-my-own-pleasure artwork and writing, but I unironically, um, made art of Frankenberry and Count Chocula. I like monsters and no not just the ones that look human mostly. My metric for what is and isn’t “attractive” is all over the place so long as all parties are consenting non-related adults. A character is attractive and 'sexual' to me if I happen to find the character appealing in that sense. You can talk all day about any other Burton/Selick/Stop-Motion pair and the antics they get up to or how hot they are as people. Whether or not I’m into it I go “yeah that tracks for Beetlejuice. Why would I expect any different from him?” 

Jack and Sally’s love is not -supposed to be- “pure” or “childish”, but it is 100% not sexual to me. After years of trying to make them sexual but somehow also never stopping in shipping them, I find them the two most actively sexless characters I can imagine. 

And, not gonna lie, something that spurns that on A LOT is the way some of ya’ll have tried to fight me on this over the years about how they can’t be ace: 

-“But Sally is designed to be sexy and Jack is an OG tumblr sexyman.” 

“Attractive”people do not have to be sexual people. I headcanon Roger and Jessica Rabbit to be ace too, btw. We all know that their form of intimacy is hijinx and pattycake, so WHY NOT Jally?

Sally is fixated on Jack but never in a leering way (which is good!) and while she may use her leg to entice Oogie, she just doesn’t seem like a very sexual person to me. Also, what’s that implying? Because she was made to be Dr. Fink’s sexylamp/girlfriend that she HAS TO BE sexual herself?

Jack, beyond his manchild himbo-isms, never strikes me as someone who gets around despite knowing that ladies in Halloween Town are into him. If anything he acts throughout the movie like someone averted to romance until the very end when he falls in love in the most Jack Skellington way imaginable.

-“If you think they aren’t sexual then why do they share a bed in your work?”

What is this Haze-code nonsense? Are queen and king-sized beds inherently places for banging and nothing else? You DO KNOW there are asexual people in real life who share beds, right? You know; because regardless of whatever you guys do for intimacy it’s just a good feeling to be close and with the person you love even when you’re sleeping? Because non-sexual cuddling exists and aroace people don’t like sex but they can love spooning, right? I hope you know that, especially for cases of platonic and familial love, where young children sleep in their parents/siblings beds for comfort. I hope, for everyone’s sake, that you aren’t Lily Orchard-ing all platonic love and asexual love into things they shouldn’t be… 

To be clear I don’t think you are, but the way some of you talk about this issue…it just makes me peeved. 

-“But they have kids according to the original/uncut ending of the soundtrack.” 

DOES THE CONCEPT OF ‘STORKS THAT DELIVER BABIES’ SERIOUSLY NOT EXIST IN A FANTASY SETTING?

Especially since we’re talking about one where abstract childhood thoughts are living beings with their own worlds like in Nightmare? How uncreative that is, sns. I like sensual fandom and sensual shipping stuff all the time but Sally and Jack are not Simba and Nala or Morticia and Gomez, i.e. children’s media characters who we know get up to non-children friendly stuff. Also, especially since one of them is a confirmed science-creation (discounting the book that shall not be named in God’s House), can ya’ not even concede the idea of literally ‘creating’ children? 

TL;DR: I don’t like to think of Jack and Sally’s nonexistent junk and yeah I am a little squicked out at the idea of you mentioning it. Stick to Sans from Undertale or Francesca from Mad Monster Party when we’re talking horny skeletons or Frankenstein-dolls, please. It’s what our lord and savior Onceler intended. 

Like myself, Jack and Sally have their own love, companionship and non-sexual intimacy. If I had to assign a sexuality to them in my work, it would be demi-asexuals. They are two dorks in love with and married to their best friend who’s also their closest confidant. They are a scarecrow bone-man and human-sized leaf doll.

Let them share a bed and a house without them being married in peace. No really. Please do that, Disney. Stop having Sally bamf off or still live with Dr. Finkelstein. That's weird. ))

[jaminster]

Hello, I come from the notes on the "reblog to let people know it's ok to bother you with questions and statements" post, so I'm not a regular follower, I apologize. I see you write fanfics, is there any fanfic you've written that you want to talk about? If not, is there a fanfic you've reading recently you want to share? Hope you have a nice day!

Hello! I'm so excited to answer this Ask because they're not common, and just want to thank you for showing interest!

I would love to talk about my latest fanfic that's still a WIP, called "Yearning Melody". It's in the Left4Dead2 fandom and a slow-burn romance between two of the canon characters: Nicholas and Ellis! The fic is set in Chicago in the fabulous 1950's and Nicholas is a miserable crooner (singer like Frank Sinatra) who's trying to escape his taunting past, while Ellis is a simple mechanic who's moved to Chicago recently with his buddies (Keith and Dave) to run a autoshop, and happens to be a big fan Nicholas (especially the covers he sings)!

The fic is slow-burn and I mean slow-burn so unfortunately it's a little slow pace, basically torturing myself at this point, but I've got a whole plot planned for it and it'll help with both of their development! It's a little serious in a way because of the issues these characters have/will endure in the future fics, but it's fun to write!

I know this type of fic isn't too popular or interesting, but I read this really great fic called New York New York written by @bigbadsnakedad, which inspired me to write something set in a similar period but with a different plot (NYNY is about mobboss Nick and mechanic Ellis). Really good fic and I've reread it a million times, so I recommend it if you're interested in things like that.

I also plan on writing another fic sometime in the future about Ellis getting the Jockey strain and just exploring one of my fav characters going through the scary stages of becoming a Jockey. I don't know if this will be a ship fic, I haven't properly sat down and planned it, but maybe it'll be a ship fic. Who knows! Just wanna write a scary fic like that tbh.

Also there's this amazing writer named @daddyellis (Rowan) and he's written a million Nellis fics. He's got this massive series called Synchronicity (The Choices We Made That Day) with 3 works so far and it's bloody delicious, but his most recent writing is The Sweetest Façade. Overall just check 'em out if you're interested in the L4D2 Nellis fandom!

Another amazing writer is @grimmywrites, who's also somewhat inspired me to write something like Yearning Melody. She's got a load of fanfics under Nellis and she's written for other fandoms too! Currently, the fic that's one of my favourites is Pollice Verso (I've doodled some things for that fic too) and it's a historical story set in Anicent Rome, about gladiator Nick and son of senator, Ellis. Overall, she's an amazing writer!

Now remembering another amazing long-term fic that’s being written by @ladyred-ms, called Blind Man’s Bluff! It’s one of those rare fics that have been going on for many years, and the plot thickens with every new chapter. It’s taught me a lot of stuff and helped me get out of a tricky situation by first making me realise said-situation. This fic does have some heavy scenes but it’s perfectly and accurately written in my opinion, so please do check it out if you’d be interested in something like that.

Anyways, thank you so much for letting me yap about my silly fic and all other amazing writers, I really appreciate this ask and it's made my year honestly (LMAO) because I've been having a rough time. There's a hundred other authors who've written amazing fics under Nellis and L4D2 overall so yeah! Thanks again for the Ask, I hope you have an amazing day too! <3<3<3

[shadowsong26fic]

Random Crossover Notes

I don't intend to actually write this (even as an AU outline; at least not yet; I'm hoping it will either die and/or interest some of the maybe five people who are invested in both fandoms enough to be worth exploring further, lol).

But it came bursting back into my head tonight and in an effort to get it out, going to ramble a bit!

This is a Wheel of Time/Battlestar Galactica crossover. (Of the...it's not a fusion exactly; and it's not a 'the Fleet stumbles across this world' direct crossover; it's 'characters from BSG exist and have always existed on this planet and fit into the fabric of this world'. That kind of crossover. the second kind could Also be interesting but that is another problem I Do Not Need

This includes decisions about:

Baltar

Caprica

Tory

Roslin

Billy

Starbuck (though not much)

Some speculation/vague thoughts about Lee and Zarek

Also includes an OC of mine.

Part of why I don't intend to actually Write It is I don't...really have all that much yet.

This did originally exist 10-15 years ago; back when I wrote a single one-shot and had plans for a much longer AU in WoT and was active in BSG fandom. Accordingly, it's more aligned with book!verse than show!verse, though I'd probably bring in some show!verse stuff I liked if I were actually writing the thing. How many of the original details I'm actually remembering (beyond the First Concept Idea) and how are new as of the past few hours, IDEK. It does also involve an OC of mine because screw it, this is my self-indulgent BS, I wanna.

((She could probably be cut in this case but. Again. Mine. I wanna. XD))

Anyway.

So, as with a lot of my initial Concepts, this starts with Baltar. Obviously, he's a channeler.

He's also Seanchan.

He's da'covale, but da'covale to a Very high-ranking High Lord, meaning he has higher status than some of the Lower Blood. He has yet to be identified as a channeler.

My OC, as usual, is Atia, his daughter. She's marath'damane and is well aware of what she is. She's...been raised in this culture, and wouldn't resist the searchers/sul'dam when they come for her...except she's aware of what her father is. She doesn't like the idea of him being gentled/killed and while there's only so much she can do to help she feels like she has to do Something.

Caprica is a sul'dam, in service to the same High Lord/Lady as Gaius and Atia. She and Gaius meet and fall in love with each other; at some point she twigs onto either him or Atia, and the three of them run away together. Not sure if they manage to find a place in the Return fleet or if they cross the ocean All By Themselves, but.

And then at Some point they run into some subset of the WoT cast but...yeah, this is pretty much as far as I got XD Gaius would probably eventually end up at the Black Tower. He and Caprica would probably be Very Into the idea of Warder-bonding each other when they get there.

...and yeah, that's about as far as I got, lol. Figuring out where other BSG characters might fit into this world is...complicated, lol. Partly because only half-remembering the tapestry of cultures/alliances/etc.; partly because in a couple of cases there are roles that would fit An aspect of a character but Very Much Not others (e.g., I can honestly see Lee aligning himself with Galad's subset of the Whitecloaks except there is zero chance of Bill as a Whitecloak sooooooooo yeah. Athena would be either another sul'dam or Aiel, I can't decide which works better. ...actually, Aiel; she and Boomer are both Shaido but Athena breaks with her clan when the Aiel fracture? Or something...)

Anyway, if anyone else has any thoughts I'd appreciate them XD

ETA: So I myself had some additional thoughts, lol.

First--Starbuck and Mat. They just. They would either be Instant Bros or Thoroughly Despise One Another there is no in between. They're just. Like. If I was doing a Fusion, Starbuck would 100% fill the Mat role, they are so much alike and I love them both for it. Anyway, I lean towards timelining it so they can be Bros because that's way more interesting/fun for me personally. See above re: self-indulgence, lol. (They have also slept together at least twice.)

Second--Zarek might actually be interesting as a Whitecloak. Not in the sense that he fully believes/buys into their rhetoric, but...I don't know, it could fit his blend of 'I believe some of this, but I'm also using it as an avenue to gain Power.' And again with the Lee vibes, especially if Lee starts Considering joining as part of the storyline, even if he doesn't start there? IDK though, I keep going back and forth on this one.

Next, Roslin. I toyed with a few different options for her. She's definitely not an Aes Sedai; initially I was thinking she might be the head of one of the groups like the Kin (if I'm remembering the name right? The women who were rejected by the Tower and formed their own quiet underground networks) or an Aiel Wise One. But then I realized--you know who absolutely is an Aes Sedai?

Tory (probably Grey ajah, maybe White).

So then it all falls into place. We squeeze a little country/principality somewhere onto the map; normally the ruler there wouldn't merit an Aes Sedai advisor, but after a messy/disputed succession, Siuan did agree to send someone, and that someone was Tory. Billy, of course, is Roslin's son/heir.

Still thinking about where anyone/everyone else might fit, but also this line:

Caprica--In the end, we're not much more than thieves. We stole a damane. We stole an a'dam. ...we stole ourselves.

...so yeah. XD And now opening it up for additional thoughts.

[sexybabystevie]

https://www.tumblr.com/curiositydooropened/725569140328382464/wildfire-ember?source=share

here is the link to the fic it's by @curiositydooropened it's sooo good but super angsty. If you love Vickie be prepared to be heartbroken 💔

But yeah I love smut when I'm in the mood lmao. I'm super impressed by anyone who can write it because while I enjoy reading it I have trouble writing it myself. I'm really awkward about it for some reason.

But I also miss the days when we get more story driven fics, it's sad because usually those are at peak in the beginning, the fandom is slowly dying out until s5 so fics unfortunately will become even more sparse. Engagement dies down so writers don't wanna post anymore, I understand that, but it's still sad. </3

Yeah post s4 fics just scream for angst based on how the last episode ended. I truly think for s5 we'll get apocalyptic Hawkins. It's gonna be soo grim. But please if you are writing the cute post s4 blanket duty fic I'll be there to read it. <33

I read another fic by @hawkinsquarry which is about Steve getting hurt by a demodog and the reader patches him up. It was one of the best hurt/comfort fic these days. You totally should check it out as well 💖

THANK YOU FOR THE RECS omg im so excited to read them!! also im SOOO scared about vickie haha

(also minor sidenote to the creators tagged: hi lol! don't mind this - or when you see me in your notes later lol)

anyway, yeah i totally get what you mean! i absolutely miss story-based fics and especially the more angsty ones! (partially i think i just miss my own writing and ideas haha :") up to the gods 2 would feel my angst rn if i could get into writing it 😭) but yeah!! smut's fine i just can't write it lmao

yeah, engagement really fell in the 1-3 months after volume 2 came out, honestly. and it was SO fast, like i've been in older fandoms and stuff before and never did they fall that fast. it was such a shock to see little works go from hundreds of notes to maybe 50 almost overnight, and it's really disheartening to know that your works used to be more viewed/seen/appreciated. luckily for me (and i honestly recommend this to EVERYONE too) i also post to ao3 and my fics usually get consistent views there, so that kind of makes me feel a little better at times!

also YES. i'm honestly so excited for s5 solely for the fics that people will make lol. like i can just... tell that the fans will be able to do great things with it, and im excited. :) and also i deeply miss steve harrington lmao 😭

i'll really consider trying to create a cute little plot with the blanket duty s4 fic!! im kinda weighed down with a lot of other projects at the moment but it is really intriguing to explore that kind of time period via fanfic!

[serendipitous-magic]

What is your writing advice for young people who want to write fanfiction and original stories in the near future?

If this is just Way Too Much, skip to the end (#16). My most important piece of advice is there. I also happen to think #5 is pretty good.

-_-_-_-

1) Literally just write. Write whatever you want, and do a lot of it.

_-_

2) You don’t have to post everything. In fact you don’t have to post anything. You can, don’t get me wrong, but it can be intimidating to sit down and think “I will now write something that other people will see and read and judge with their eyeballs.” Because that’s probably gonna lead to nerves and writer's block. Just write down the ideas that you have, the things you want to write, whatever’s in your brain that you want to explore and expand upon and make into something. And then if you want to, share it. Or don’t share it. I have plenty of half-baked ideas and documents and random story chapters and shit hidden away on my Google Drive that will never see the light of day, for a whole number of reasons. I wanted to write it but it wasn’t ~Spicy~ enough to warrant posting, or it’s only like an eighth of a good idea, or it’s like one scene with no story around it, or it’s just something incredibly self-indulgent I just wanted to write for my own enjoyment.

Point being, don’t write for other people. Don’t write so that other people can read it; write what you want, write for yourself, and then if you want to share it, do.

_-_

3) You can pretty much ignore any and all of these for fanfiction. In fact, you can ignore pretty much any rules or guidelines you want for fanfiction. Fanfic is a sandbox. You don’t have to be a “professional writer” to post fic. No one expects you to be Stephen King or Margaret Atwood. Fanfic is just for playing in a fandom and having fun. If you wanna write a 50 chapter slow burn with very little plot aside from the OTP slowly getting to know each other, and no real stakes or central conflict, I guarantee people would read that. Really, fanfiction is the Old West of writing: lawless, wild, unpredictable, and free.

However, here are the rules you must follow:

-Separate your paragraphs. (I’m sure you know this already, but I’m gonna say it anyway just in case.) Do not post one big block of text. Make a paragraph break when someone new is talking, when the characters are in a new place, when a new event occurs that changes the scene, when a chunk of time has passed, and when there’s a major change in subject.

-I know it’s obvious, but... grammar, punctuation, and capitalization. They exist to make writing easy for readers to read, and more people will read your stuff if they don’t have to stop and try to figure out what you meant.

-Use tags and labels, as is possible with whatever site you’re using. Especially if you include possibly triggering content in your story. Again, I know it’s obvious, but it’s common courtesy. Bonus: tagging the themes and content of your story helps readers find it and read it :)

-If possible, limit the use of all-caps and exclamation marks / question marks. 99% of the time, one ! or one ? will do. If you overload the page with a lot of all-caps and long rows of exclamation marks or question marks, it hampers readability.

... That’s literally all I can think of. And, like I said, it’s all pretty basic stuff. You were probably rolling your eyes like, “Uh, yeah, Gwen, I know.” But that’s literally it. You can pretty much do whatever you want in fanfic.

That being said, here’s my advice for both fanfiction and original work...

_-_

4) A quick and dirty rule for coming up with a plot, starting a story, keeping up pacing, or maintaining tension: figure out what dreams, desires, and goals are nearest and dearest to your main character’s heart (see #16). Then set up the main conflict to be directly in opposition to that goal. It doesn’t have to be in a tangible way, though it could be. But, if your main character wants more than anything to reach the ships on the southern coast of your world and sail to a new life, make sure the main conflict immediately prevents them from doing that - in fact, make sure to send them north. If your main character just wants to keep their loved ones safe, kidnap the loved ones. If your main character just wants to date their best-friend-turned-crush, make sure they think they have no chance - or, make them cocky about it, and make sure it makes Person B determined not to ever like them. You get it. Figure out what your character most wants, and then keep them from having that. Boom - your conflict now ties in with your character's motivation. It's like instant yeast for plots.

_-_

5) If you’re anything like me, you want your first draft to be Good, despite all that advice about how the first draft doesn’t have to be good and it’s just to get words on the page, yadda yadda. And if you’re somewhat of a perfectionist (like myself), it’s easy to get stuck looking at a blank page because you don’t have The Perfect Words, and you want what you write to be Good the first time.

Here’s how I cheat that:

Instead of trying to write a Good First Draft from a blank page, hit the enter key a few times, skip a little down on the page, change your ink to red (or blue, or whatever - just something immediately identifiable as Not Black) and just thought vomit. Write whatever the hell you’re thinking, exactly as you think it. Don’t worry about it being readable, don’t worry about narrative flow for now, don’t worry about covering all the details, don’t worry about anything except either a) getting all the details of your idea out onto the page, whether that’s a lot or whether it’s just a sentence or two, or b) if you don’t have an idea yet, finding your way there.

Because this method is also very good for finding your way to ideas when you’re stuck in writer’s block.

Because of how human brains work, getting this stuff out onto the page - in all its messy, stream-of-consciousness glory - will likely spark more thoughts. As you write your original idea about the scene, it’ll likely spark more ideas. Creation begets creation. If you just start thought-vomiting your ideas onto the page, chances are you’ll think of more things as you go, and you’ll start filling out description or dialogue or tone or action or whatever, and pretty soon the scene starts writing itself.

Not sure where you’re going with the scene or which ideas you wanna use? Use a lot of ambivalent language in your “thought-vomit draft.” My pre-writing notes are chock-full of the words “maybe,” “perhaps,” and the phrases, “At some point...” and “...or something like that.” In this way, I don’t tie myself down to one idea; it’s just an idea, and I’m keeping it on the page in case I use it, but I might chuck it in the trash or change it or whatever.

And then, once your ideas for the scene (or story, or chapter, or whatever) are on the page, then go back to the top and start translating them into a “real” first draft. Use black ink, and start copy-pasting chunks of the thought-vomit up into the top part of the document and translating them into Draft 1. Separate out paragraphs where paragraph breaks should be. Add the correct punctuation and whatnot. Change “describe the lobby here - include potted plants, fancy carpet, blood stain, etc.” into an actual description of the lobby. Flesh it out, or condense, or whatever it needs. And if you’re still stuck, change back to red ink and ramble some more until you find a path that feels right, then plug that in. This keeps you from looking at a blank page, and it allows you to generate a kind of Draft 0.5, somewhere between a plan and a first draft.

You don’t have to use every idea. Like I said, jot down whatever comes to mind, put a “maybe” before or after it, and keep working. If the idea grabs you and you wanna keep expanding on it and exploring it, cool. If you just wanna jot it down so you don’t forget it and then move on, also cool. Red-ink draft / “thought-vomit draft” is your time to jump around in the timeline, add or finesse details at whatever point your brain moves to, etc. Don’t try to do it exactly in story order, because you will get tangential thoughts and ideas, and you will not remember to write them down five pages later when you finally get to taking notes on that scene. Trust me. On that note...

_-_

6) Write everything down the moment you think of it. Seriously.

“I’ll remember it when I get around to writing that scene in a couple days / weeks / months (/years).”

You won’t.

Write it down.

Phone, journal, google docs - hell, my family regularly laughs at me for grabbing a napkin during dinner and scribbling thoughts down alongside pasta sauce stains.

And then, once you have it written down somewhere...

_-_

7) Consolidate your writing ideas in one place.

Maybe this isn’t really your style, and that’s totally chill.

Buuuut, if you’re Type-A like me - or if you tend to be somewhat unorganized and you know you’ll lose track of your writing notes if they’re scattered across multiple notebooks, journals, napkins, phone notes, etc. - having one consolidated document of notes is a life saver. I keep mine on Google Docs so I can access it, add to it, and look through it for inspiration anywhere at any time. When I have one of those Shower Thoughts that I jot down on my phone or on a napkin during dinner, I set myself a reminder on my phone to type it up in my Story Ideas document later.

(Or, if the idea I had was for a story of mine that I’ve already started planning / drafting / whatever, I put it in the document for that story instead of the Big Random Story Ideas doc. You get it.)

_-_

8) Have other ways to collect and save writing ideas, besides just writing stuff down. If you like Pinterest, make pinterest boards of your characters or stories or settings or whatever. If you’re big into playlists, make a playlist for your character / setting / story / etc. Or both. Or something else. I’m not good at drawing, but maybe you are, and maybe you like to draw your ideas. Whatever form it takes, having another way to save ideas and think about your stories is invaluable.

_-_

9) Some writers can just start writing with no idea where the story is going, and they just kind of figure it out as they go. I envy those writers. And I do that sometimes for fanfiction, where the stakes are somewhat lower and the audience is reading more for scene-to-scene enjoyment (and to see their OTP kiss) than for a Driving And Compelling Narrative.

But here’s the thing: especially if you’re just kind of starting out, writing without some sort of plan is really, really hard, and will likely lead you into a slow, meandering narrative that will likely frustrate you.

Even if you think you’re someone that just can’t write with a plan (and again, I have the highest respect for pansters out there - I don’t know how you do it, you crazy bastards, but you keep doing you) - even if you think “I can’t work with plans, they’re too prescriptive, I just want to write and see what happens -”

Try at least making the most skeletal of plans.

Even if you have no clue what 90% of the story is, yet. That’s fine. But you need to have some idea of what you’re building to, even if that’s nothing more specific than a feeling, or a turning point for your character. Even if your entire plan for everything beyond Chapter 1 is, “At some point, Charlie needs to realize that Ed was lying to her.”

This is where those Draft 0.5 notes come in handy. Because, more than likely, working on your current scene that way will spark ideas for later scenes, which you can put down at the bottom of the document and save for when they become relevant. In my experience, the line between planning ahead and making a Draft 0.5 is exceptionally thin. One can quickly turn into the other.

If you’re really, really resistant to the idea of planning ahead, that’s okay. It’s not everybody’s style. But for the love of all that is holy, write down your ideas for future scenes, even if you’re a person that doesn’t like to plan and writes only in story order, because you will not remember that idea once you get to that scene.

_-_

10) You don’t have to write in order.

Here’s the thing: I’m a person that can only do my Draft 1 in story order (meaning, chronological order). I just have to be in that flow; I need to write in story order for me to best channel where the character is at from scene to scene, both narratively and emotionally.

But my Thought Vomit Draft is another thing entirely. By using the brain hack of putting my notes in red (or another color, it doesn’t matter) and going down to the bottom of the document / page and taking notes there, and then integrating them into whatever plan I have, and then translating them into Draft 1 once I get there in the story - by doing that, I can get my good ideas onto the page (and expound upon them and let my muse carry me and ride that momentum while I’m in the moment of inspiration) without writing out of order.

Maybe that’s just me. But if you’re a person who really prefers to write in story order, that could be hugely helpful to you. It is to me.

_-_

11) Emotion and motivation will do more for your story than technicalities of plot.

If your characters really care about something, and their journey through the (shaky or weak) plot is emotionally engaging, it will be a much more compelling story than a story with a “perfect” plot and unrelatable or unmotivated characters.

If your characters care about what they’re doing, and it means something to them, and their goals and actions are driven by dreams or fears or emotions that are integral to who they are, your audience will care too. If you have a perfectly crafted plot that hits all the right beats and has high stakes and fast pacing and drama - but your characters don’t connect with what’s happening in a way that’s deeply meaningful or emotional for them? You’re gonna have a hard time engaging readers.

When in doubt, prioritize character emotion and motivation over plot. Emotion is what drives story.

This power is highly exploitable. (Just look at pulp novels and shitty but entertaining movies.) You can even use it to glaze over plot holes or reinvigorate a limp narrative. Use it that way sparingly, though. It’s a band-aid, not a surgery. 

_-_

12) Evil villains are hard to write - mostly because there are very few truly evil people in the world. (There are a few. Billionaires and several big name politicians come to mind.) But by and large, there aren’t that many evil people. There are plenty of bad people, but bad people have some good in them, somewhere in there. Trying to write an evil villain is hard, because they often turn very cartoony.

Here’s a tip: it’s much easier to write antagonists who aren’t evil. Even if they’re bad people. Of course, there’s no reason you can’t write a villain that’s just truly evil - a serial killer, or an abuser, or a billionaire, or someone who legit just wants to hurt people or blow up the earth or stay in control of an oppressed population, or whatever. But chances are, it’s gonna be really hard to make them feel real, and even harder to create a plot around them that doesn’t feel forced or contrived.

Instead, try writing an antagonist / villain whose motivations and goals directly clash with your protagonist’s - but not because they want to take over the world or see people suffer. Write an antagonist who’s chaotic good, but whose perception of the situation is completely opposite from your hero’s. Write an antagonist whose only desire is to save people, and who will do anything to achieve that goal - anything. Write an antagonist who believes in the letter of the law, and will hinder and oppose the hero’s methods even if they agree with the hero’s motivation. Write an antagonist who got in way over their head and did some things they regret, and now they don’t know how to get out, and they’re doing their best but whatever they set in motion is too powerful for them to stop now.

Write villains who are human. Write a killer who thought they were doing the right thing by taking their victim out of the equation, who vomits at the sight of the body and sobs over the grave they dig. Write a government leader who truly believes she’s doing what’s best for her people in the long-term, even if it might hurt them in the short term, and is willing to endure the hatred and belligerence of the masses if it means securing what she thinks is a better future for her people. Write a teenage bully that thinks they’re the one being picked on by the world, and they’re just fighting back, standing their ground. Write a scientist who will break any code of ethics and hurt anyone he needs to - in order to bring back his baby sister from the grave, because he promised her he’d protect her and he failed. Write an antagonist who is selfish and self-centered and capricious - because in order to survive they had to look out for Number One, and that habit ain’t about to break anytime soon.

Write villains who aren’t even villains. Write antagonists who oppose the hero because of moral differences. Write antagonists who are trying to do the right thing. Write antagonists who treat the heroes with kindness and dignity and respect and gentleness.

They don’t have to be good. They don’t have to be Misunderstood Sweethearts who “deserve” a redemption arc. They can be cruel and nasty and dismissive and callous and violent and etc. etc.

Just hesitate before you make them Evil-with-a-capital-E. Because evil is hard to write, and honestly, boring to read. Flawed human beings with goals and motivations that directly oppose the main characters’ are much easier to write and much more interesting to read.

Ask why. Why is your villain trying to take over the world? What does that even mean? Are they trying to create a Star-Trek-like post-capitalism utopia, but they know that won’t happen in a million lifetimes, so they’re trying to do it by force? Are they actually super in favor of human rights, but they got very impatient waiting for the world to do anything about poverty and war, so they decided to take it into their own hands? Are they determined to fix the world - no matter the cost? Are they terrified and overwhelmed, but committed to see it through to the end? Or - maybe they’re just doing it on a dare. Maybe they don’t really give a shit about world domination, they were just a mediocre rich white guy who decided to fuck around and find out, and now he’s kind of curious how far he can take this thing. And now he’s kind of an internationally-wanted criminal, so he’s kind of stuck living on his hidden private island in his multi-billion dollar secret base, strapping lasers to sharks’ heads for the hell of it. Gross, selfish, uncaring, and dangerous? For sure. Evil? Depends on your definition. See, now we’re getting somewhere.

_-_

13) It’s tempting to let the plot control the characters. It’s easy to drop your characters into a situation and see how they react. But here’s the thing: that doesn’t drive plot. In fact, it bogs down pacing. Instead, try to build you plot off of your characters’ actions and decisions. Let your character build their own situation. Not to say it should go they way they wanted it to go; in fact, usually, their grand plans should go to hell very quickly. But having the characters take action and make decisions, and letting the plot develop based on that, is much easier to make compelling than making a rigid series of events and then trying to herd your characters into them.

_-_

14) Having trouble justifying a character’s actions? Consider having them make the opposite decision, or having them approach the situation in a different way. For example: you need your character to go meet the bad guy, for plot reasons, even though there’s no way it’s not a trap. If the character goes, readers are gonna be groaning with their head in their hands, because c’mon man, that was really fucking stupid. But he’s gotta go, because the plot needs that. Two ways you might handle this: a) He knows it’s probably a trap. He decides not to go. The plot conspires to get him near the villain anyway. Or, b) He knows it’s a trap. But he needs to go, for (insert reasons here). So, he approaches it in an unexpected way. He brings backup, recruiting a side character we met earlier in the story. Or he arrives on the back of a dragon, because ain’t nobody gonna fuck with a dude on a dragon. Or he goes - early, and ambushes the villain. It may work, it may not. He may get himself kidnapped anyway. But it moves the plot along without having Stupid Hero Syndrome.

_-_

15) This is a legit piece of advice: if all of this sounds overwhelming, literally just ignore it and write what you want. For real. Writing should be fun, and every single writer operates differently. If you’re sitting here like “I’m getting stressed just reading this,” just flip me a good-natured bird and get on with your life. I promise I won’t take it personally. Same goes for literally any other writing advice you see. Lots of rules and guidelines can very quickly make anything thoroughly un-fun. Just write. If you’re passionate about it and you do it for long enough, you’ll start figuring out the tips and tricks on your own.

_-_

16) Here’s the best piece of advice I can give you: know your characters. More importantly, know what’s important to them. Build their personality and decisions off of that, and build your plot off of their decisions.

I see a lot of character building sheets that ask a shit-ton of questions like “What’s their most prized possession?” “Do they like their family?” “What’s their favorite food?”

And while these are good questions, my problem with this type of character building is that if you start there, with the little stuff, you’re building on nothing. IMO, to make a truly strong character (not strong like Inner Strength, strong like effective), you need a strong foundation.

Here are the things you must know about your character:

a) What are their greatest fears / deepest insecurities? And I don’t mean “wasps” or “heights.” I mean the deep shit. I mean fears like “living a meaningless life,” or “turning out just like their parents,” or “that no one will ever love them,” or “being powerless.” You may say, “But they’re really scared of wasps! They fall into a wasp nest when they were little and got stung so much they almost died!” Great! That’s a fantastic bit of backstory. They should absolutely be afraid of wasps, and that should absolutely be an impediment later in the story. But dig deeper. What about that event actually scarred them? Was it the helplessness? Stumbling around, swatting at the air, not being able to do a single thing to stop what was happening to them? Was it that they were alone, and no matter how loud they screamed, no one was coming? Was it the bodily horror of feeling themself turn into an inhuman creature as they swelled up from the stings, unable to move their fingers or face normally anymore?

And don’t forget insecurities, because those factor in, too. Are they deeply insecure about their identity? Do they believe, deep down, that they’re ugly? Did they grow up poor and they’ve always been really touchy about that? Why? Dig deep. Figure out what really, really bothers them.

b) What are their hopes and dreams? What do they truly want out of life? What do they consider the most valuable to their experience here in this thing called life? Is it the freedom to forge their own path and be independent? Is it the approval of their family or peers? Is it a home? Is it knowledge, or understanding? Spiritual fulfillment? Is it deeply important to them that they contribute to their community, or protect those they love? What do they need in order to feel truly and deeply fulfilled in life?

Figure out those two things (each one encompasses several things, btw, you don’t have to stop at just one for each), and then use that to inform how they behave and the types of decisions they make within the story. 

It also informs character behavior and personality. 

Let’s say we have a character who’s afraid of helplessness. They’re probably gonna be the person that always wants to do something, try something, no matter how hopeless the situation seems. They’d despise just sitting and waiting, probably, because it makes them feel powerless. They might even be the person that makes rash decisions and acts impulsively and puts themself in danger unnecessarily, because in their mind it’s better than being at the mercy of fate. This is one way you could use a character’s personality to inform their decisions, which in turn helps to inform plot.

Or, let’s say we have a character whose greatest fear is being left behind or forgotten. We may have a chatterbox on our hands. They might be obnoxious. They might love the spotlight, constantly vying for attention no matter the situation, because deep down they’re so afraid that they’d be forgotten otherwise. Or, it may go the opposite way. They may be so afraid of people leaving them that they’re terrified of bothering people. They don’t want to do anything that could annoy people, anything that might give people a reason to leave them. They might be exceedingly polite, quiet, accommodating. A push-over, really.

These are two nearly opposite types of personalities, both stemming from the same core fear/insecurity. You can go a lot of different ways with it. But if you build on that strong foundation, you’ll have a strong character, and a stronger plot.

Likewise, the structure of your story can and should inform the design of these character traits. If you need your characters to team up near the end, it may be impactful if you give your main character a deep fear of commitment, an insecurity about being unwanted or left behind, and make them highly value independence and freedom. That could make their team-up for the final battle very meaningful. Conversely, you can use your character’s deepest fears and desires to help design the plot. Is your character deeply insecure about voicing their opinions or taking a stand, because of trauma they faced in the past? Make them face that. Build that into the climactic third act. Give them the big inspirational speech where they stand up and talk about what they believe to be important, what they think the group should do. And then design that character arc to run through the story, giving you more handholds and stepping stones, more pieces of foundation on which to design the plot.

In this way, character should inform story as much as story informs character. It’s a feedback loop.

Bonus: if you build your character and your plot off of each other in this way, it automatically starts to build in the foundations of that emotional investment I mentioned earlier. If your character’s decisions are based on what they most want and do not want in life, you basically have your character motivation and stakes pre-built.

Note: you need to know these things about your villain, too.

-_-_-

I’m genuinely sorry about the length of this, lmao. But you did ask.

Best of luck!

Edit: I forgot an important one:

17) Start when the scene starts and end when the scene ends.

What do I mean by that?

If your notes say “Danny asks Nicole out after school and majorly flubs it,” start the scene when Danny approaches Nicole after school. Better yet, cold-open the scene on “I was wondering if, you know, you’d wanna. You know. Hang out some time?”

Don’t start that morning when Danny goes to school, unless you’re gonna cover the school day in like one or two sentences. Don’t spend whole paragraphs going through the school day, unless it’s to cover other plot points first (in which case apply these same guidelines there), or if the paragraphs are there for a specific reason, like to illustrate how stressed he is and how it seems like every little thing is going wrong. Even then, trim the fat as much as possible. Expounding and describing everything Moment-to-moment is for the meat of the scenes, not the leading-up-to and coming-away-from.

Here’s my rule of thumb: study how and when movies cut from scene to scene. Movies have exceptionally strict, limited time for storytelling; they’re excellent examples of starting a scene when the plot point starts and ending when it’s over. If you can’t picture a movie showing everything you showed, start the scene later and end it earlier.

[high-functioning-lokipath]

All About Eavesdropping - Loki x Reader - Words: 1,835

“You want us to what?” You yelled. 

“I need you and Elsa here to go to Greenland for about a month,” Tony said. You stared at him from across his worktable in his lab. 

“Why in Valhalla would we need to do that, Stark?” Loki retorted. “And don’t call me Elsa.” Tony had called the two of you in there right after breakfast saying that he had a very important job for you. This, however, did not seem to be all that special.

“For purely scientific purposes, of course,” He replied, mouthful of blueberries.

“And those would be?” You sighed, facedesking. 

“The new winter stealth suits I designed. I need them tested in the field. I’ve run as many lab tests as possible but,” Tony shrugged. “Field tests are absolutely necessary. Everything you’ll need is either in these boxes or in the house in Greenland. If you want to take any other personal stuff you’ll want to grab it before you leave.”

“And you think we’re the best for the job?” You asked.

“He’s already a popsicle so if it gets too cold he can deal with it and you can heal yourself or him anyway,” Tony said like it was the most logical thing in the world. Loki tensed at his words but didn’t say anything about it.

“Fine,” Loki grunted. He grabbed the box Tony had marked for him and headed for the doors. 

“You leave at 6! Don’t be late!” 

“I wouldn’t dare disappoint you, Stark,” Loki sassed before finally stalking out. 

“Have fun!” Tony grinned at you, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“First of all, perv. Second of all, ain’t gonna happen!” You replied. “Why are you doing this? This whole thing is a direct attack on a part of him he doesn’t like to address!” 

“Well I figured he has to grow up one day and deal with it. We all have inner demons to fight. I figured I’d help him.”

“A bit not good there, Sherlock.” Tony snorted in laughter and shook his head. 

“Would you rather I send him with Steve?” Your eyes widened comically.

“Nope!” You exclaimed, popping the p. “I think we’ll do just fine.” You grabbed your box and headed out as well.   

By 6 o'clock, the two of you were flying out on one of Tony's jets. "So, what do you think of the new suits?" You asked Loki, trying to make some conversation.

"They are no match for true Asgardian leather and would be greatly improved by at least a cape," He replied sounding rather bored. 

"Oh," You said. "How exactly are we to be testing the suits again? I forget what Tony said."

"He said nothing, darling. It was all in his infernal little packet." You blushed lightly at the pet name and nodded. 

"Alright, well, I guess I'm just going to," You paused, unsure of what to do. It was obvious Loki was not interested in conversation but there wasn't much to do on the jet. "I'm just going to sit over there," You said, getting up quickly and moving to the other side of the jet. The rest of the flight was quiet, Loki only speaking up to alert you that you were about to land. 

"Surely the man of iron could not possibly want us to stay here," Loki said, getting out and seeing the small house.

"Maybe it's bigger on the inside," You said hopefully. Gathering your few things, you both headed in. "Oh this is so much worse," You groaned. The large main room consisted of the dining and living rooms and the kitchen. However, it was very sparsely decorated. You could see a stack of groceries in the kitchen along with a note. Loki wandered off to explore the bathroom and bedrooms, you assumed, while you read the note. 

"Find anything of interest?" Loki called out, surprising you.

"Just that Tony said if we didn't like the food or somehow ran out there's a grocery store about 10 miles away."

"And just how does he expect us to go there?" Loki yelled, getting increasingly frustrated. 

"The note says our transportation is out back." You walked down the small hallway to the back door and looked outside. Stifling a laugh you called out, "Hey, Loki! I think your ex is here!"

"My who?" Loki replied, very confused. "I have no 'exes', as you call them, on Midgard." You smirked and moved aside so Loki could look. When he saw what was in the backyard, a strange look crossed over his face. "Run," He said in a dangerously calm voice. 

"I beg your pardon?" You replied.

"Run if you don't want to lose your phone," He smirked back. You laughed but you did take off running. He chased you back out to the main room but you ran out the front door. "Don't think you can escape me!" He called out. 

"Wanna bet?" You called back, running to the backyard. You quickly jumped on one of the two horses you had seen and took off. 

"Oh, you'll regret saying that, my dear," Loki grinned, getting on the other horse and taking off after you. 

The next few days continued in a similar pattern. There wasn't much to do so you and Loki would often spend your time exploring the woods behind the house or riding the horses or just talking. Loki had warmed up to you quite a bit, pun intended, and you were quite happy. Of course, you recorded the events of each day in your diary. Well, it was less of a diary and more of a collection of special moments you wanted to remember and sketches you'd made. You had just finished writing today's events when you heard a loud clatter and Loki call you from the kitchen.

"Y/N!" He said. "Can you come here please?" You quickly put your notebook in the nightstand drawer and hurried out to the kitchen.

"What in the world happened, Loki?" You exclaimed, holding back a laugh. Loki was laying on the floor, covered in a mixture of flour and eggs it seemed, with various cups and bowls around him. 

"I was attempting to reach a mixing bowl on the top shelf when I slipped on an egg and pulled the shelf down," He admitted.

"You're telling the truth!" You gasped, openly chuckling at the situation now.

"Of course, love! I couldn't lie to you." You blushed brightly, as he often made you do with those pet names. 

"Uh, well," You stuttered. "Why don't you go wash up and I'll finish," You paused, glancing around. "Whatever you were making."

"I was attempting to make breakfast," He grinned. "But I think I should make myself clean instead, hm?" 

"Yes, you should," You smirked. "Wouldn't want anyone thinking you were greying early."

"You-" He exclaimed, standing quickly. For a moment you thought he was truly angry, but his eyes sparkled with mischief. He reached onto the counter and threw a handful of flour at you before running off to the bathroom. You laughed, dusted yourself off, and got to work on breakfast.

About an hour later, he came back out and sat across you at the counter. "Your breakfast, my prince," You smiled, presenting him his plate. He smiled and you ate in silence for a time. 

"I've been reading a lot lately," He commented. 

"Mhm," You replied, mouthful of syrupy pancakes. 

"The last book I read had some rather interesting sketches in it too."

"Really?" You asked, truly interested. "I love art. Can you show it to me?" You took a large gulp of milk as he replied.

"My dear," He said, setting down his fork. "I read your diary." You coughed, almost choking on your ill-timed drink. 

"You what?" You screeched. "How dare you invade my privacy like that and-"

"Don't you care to know what I thought?" He interrupted.

"Why? So you can laugh at me, oh Mr. High-and-" He cut you off by leaning over the counter and kissing you earnestly. "Oh, that's nice," You said once you pulled away. 

"Just nice?" He smirked. "I guess I'll have to work on that." He kissed you once more before you pulled away, cheeks flushed and eyes wide.

"I just remembered something!" You gasped. 

"What's wrong?" You quickly pulled out the pamphlet Tony had made you about the suit testing. You then gestured to a paragraph under a subheading of RECORDING ANY AND ALL TEST RESULTS

ALL TEST RESULTS MUST BE RECORDED BY THE TESTERS USING THE STEPS LISTED. TO ENSURE NOTHING IS MISSED, HOWEVER, THE HOUSE WILL ALSO BE UNDER 24/7 SURVEILLANCE TO TRACK ANY UNRECORDED RESULTS.

OUTSIDE - AUDIO/VIDEO

INSIDE - AUDIO ONLY

Loki grinned and leaned into you, lips brushing against your ear. He whispered something and you giggled. "Loki!" You gasped. "We can’t do that here!"

"Oh, yes," He purred. "We can do it anywhere we want if we're creative enough." 

"But outside is so much more exciting," You grinned. "So," you paused, struggling to find the right word. "Freeing!"

"Please do not do anything outdoors where I can see!" You heard a loud voice yell. You both quickly realized it was coming from the monitoring system.

"Steve? Is that you?" You called back with a chuckle. 

"Yeah, Tony insisted I take a turn on guard duty," He grumbled. "Look, I'm sorry I interrupted," He paused awkwardly. "Whatever you were doing but could you please not do it outside? Outside has cameras." Loki laughed loudly and you did too. 

"We really didn't mean to prank you, Cap. I thought Tony was on the other end of that mic."

"I however have no objections to how this turned out," Loki added. You whacked him arm lightly and shook your head. "Truthfully, though, we were only speaking of testing another aspect of the suit. I whispered to Y/N my idea and-"

"I get it," Cap replied quickly. You couldn't see him but you could tell he was embarrassed. "I'll make you two a deal. Behave yourselves, finish the tests, and get home early and I'll help you prank Tony here in the tower. Ok?"

"You have yourself a deal, Captain," Loki grinned. 

"Alright. I'm going to take a nap now. Don't do anything stupid."

"Oh we won't," Loki smirked, wrapping his arms around you and planting light kisses on your neck.

"Loki!" You squealed.

"Do you want to prank Tony or not?" Steve yelled. "I can't see you but I can hear you! And that didn't sound like suit testing. Get to work! If you do as you're supposed to, you'll be done in a week."

"Yes, sir," You both grumbled. Loki, ever the mischief maker, wasn't about to let up. He grabbed a towel and twirled it, smacking your backside with it as you walked away. 

"What was that for?" You asked.

"Loki, did you just-"

"For purely scientific purposes, I assure you," He replied. Steve groaned in frustration.

"This is gonna be a long week."

Loki Taglist

@lucywrites02

@delightfulheartdream

@serpentargo

@khena

@nyx2021

@kaz11283

@weasley-main-lover

@up-to-mischief

@lokislittlesigyn

​Marvel (all characters) Taglist

@bartv21

@another-crazy-fangirl

@whatafuckingdumbass

@ladylulu143

@lokislittlesigyn

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Hey i really love your blog!!! I just plucked the courage to actually send u an ask fhdjhd but GOSH i love your video edits and your gifs and your meta article posts, you're so articulate and you can explain/describe moments in a way that makes me go "oh wow, i cant believe i haven't seen it that way before!!" Haha ANYWAYS i'm just here to say that i completely agree with what all u said, Free creators might do a lil fanservice here and there for the 25 ships that exists within the fandom's circle, but rinharu's storyline is clearly the most romantic one! And i'd argue it's the one closest to being canon esp after part 1, i mean the fact that they put such an explosive emotional outburst right at the end of the second to the last movie means a lot. It's like reinforcing the fact that this series has always been about them, and everything that has happened only happened either because they met or they grew appart and miss eachother. I kinda feel like maybe.. juust maayyybe there's a chance KA wants to make the ship canon, since it's the last movie and they want to end it on a highnote maybe (bcs honestly i think the only reason they've been holding back is purely bcs of the merch sales, since they don't have a problem showing a wholesome lesbian love story in kobayashi maid dragon) butt i could be wrong, maybe i'm just overly optimistic and delusional, they could somehow ruin it and give an ending that panders to all the ships again 😅🥲, but at least there's a clear-cut guarantee that part 2 would dedicate a large portion of it fixing rin and haru's fight!!! Oohh how can i wait another 6 months now!!😭😭 (sorry for the long ask btw!! 🙏🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️)

OMG thank you so so much!! For watching my vids too! ❤️❤️❤️ It really means a lot to me! Ahhhh wow, thats the longest ask I've ever recieved! 😍 I'm trying to explain myself so hard lol I'm glad its appreciated, bc sometimes I'm like "I don't fucking know how to say this" xD

Well, you know me, I only care for one ship, which is the only one with confirmed info that they're both actually gay and have mutual feelings for each other. There are some other ships in free! I'm fine with (those do not include Rin or Haru in them xD), but I just mostly don't care, bc after reading all the stuff, you can see that in some of those to one the other one is actually like his second option, which I just do not like. Others I just don't even see, bc again to me who witnessed great close male friendships and having two sisters who I'm very close to, I just do not see anything romantic in that.

It's not just Free! tbh, it's like any sports anime these days. They see two guys walking together, it's a ship. And like no one cares if they're just bros. Like I'd get i they did some fanservice fanservice, but like I never saw anyone in Free! crossing the line the way rinharu do. I can without thinking much name you 10 rh moments that no matter how hard you think can't be explain as being bros, but can't name one when it comes to others. I just find some ppl shipping everyone with everyone weird sometimes. It's like western fans see like some eastern actors or singers slap each other ass lovingly and they're like "oh they're fucking" I'm like "yeah, ofc all 500 of them, you're absolutely right". And Free! doesn't do anything even like that, I just do not get sometimes like what moment even brought on some ships. I'm genuinely confused. Albert and Haru? You fucking fell from a sakura tree or smth? I'm...

I'm especially confused when it comes to guys, whose character type is who I call "I only want this one and if I can't have it, then I'm ok" xD. It just always surprised me, when they try to pair up them with someone else, it's like a complete ooc.

I'm also not into this whole "well, if there are gays in this anime, than everyone there is gay". I'm like... huh. It's like with KNB and MDZS I had same feeling. It's like you have already couples there who are canon/borderline canon, why do you need another 10 who don't even interact or just don't even go there? I'm always so confused in those situations. Or like wangxian is married and some are like "no, I actually don't like it, let me write a fic when they're with other ppl". Lan Zhan... being in love or having sex with someone else? Yeah, that's not Lan Zhan, dude, you're writing about someone else. Might as well change the name at this point.

But last time I went to twitter someone had a thread about how if they make s4 of Free! they should mainly explore there Momo's angst (and no, it wasn't a joke), so I'm already like, I'm just.. nothing will surprise me no more. But I'm forever gonna be confused.

Yeah, I eel you about "going there". I mean seeing part of it, it just kinda cemented my confusion, bc I do not get how it can be considered platonic. We were just discussing since yesterday with @freeseafirefly how I now even more perplexed and do not understand how they will resolve it without going into relationship territory. It's just our point here is that like... no one forced them to go there (I mean its not like this whole fandom has some wild expectations or anything already), we were waiting or our usual friendship and swimming and maybe tiny conflict about struggles of pro-careers and some usual rh implications (maybe all the rh gay in dramas as always). Not some pure fanfiction coming to life here haha.

Like why I'm laughing is bc I twice used in my "fics" bringing up him leaving Haru as a force to push the confession, bc there's no way if he adresses this it won't lead to this. And now we not only have this (bc Haru just basically layed it out there), but an actual scene of him playing on their feelings for each other and a literal image of Rin leaving and "taking Haru's heart with him" to the point when he's for the first time in his life openly crying on the ground. And it's not like this scene can be interpreted as anything else, the whole fandom talks same, bc the whole fight was just about them, what Haru said was just about them, there's a literal boom of his heart getting out of his chest, before he falls and now he's heartless.

So our question is like... why go there?

It's like some say that they might still resolve it with "they're special to each other" and swimming, but still like we already knew that, there was no reason to go that far is what I'm saying. And to think that it was planned since forever giving the clues is like... ???

The whole spoon theme also throw me on the loop because like, lets be honest, it's wedding themed. And that part of the interview about part 2 there also made me go...?????? Because I mean, huh?

This is just all in all very interesting turn of events to say the least. I do not see the point of all of this if its not what I think it is, esp after seeing tweets like "even I see a rh wedding and I'm mh T_T". It's just all very unsubtle, that's why we're confused.

Like who knows, maybe we'll really by some magic turn of events get lucky and they really decided that since its the ending, it's okay to go for it. But I also don't wanna to hype myself much, I'm already really happy with it, just bc again, this scene already proves all of my points.

And yeah, I'm sure they'll pander to everyone, bc it's the end and etc and we have to handle everything on the good note and there's a whole line of ppl who's obsessed with us, esp with Haru xD, but like bromance pandering and romance pandering are different things, you know *wiggles eyebrows* and u know who always gets the second one.

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

I’m back on my bullshit and we have GOT TO TALK about 13x08 The Scorpion and the Frog; which serves as a good example of why you should not ONLY watch spn episodes with Cas (partially because of that scene I shamefully blogged about earlier - no I will not link that cursed post here).  The episode title comes from a fable in which the villain is the scorpion.  Interpretations of this fable note its uniqueness lies in the concept that “the scorpion is irrationally self destructive and fully aware of it.”

To quote the scorpion, buddies -  “it’s in my nature.”

Anyway, this episode is subtextually predicated on exploring Dean Winchester’s nature and specifically - his bisexuality, and I’m not only saying that because it opens with Dean in his Bi Colors Plaid (that also he wore on his burger date with Cas).

Let’s get started, after the cut!

Season 13 on its face gives me absolute whiplash because it starts widow arc-reunion-TOMBSTONE and then Jack yeets himself off to Chuck knows where so Cas can go out Looking For Him Because Otherwise He Will Definitely Kiss Dean there is no other option for the writers at this point.  Sigh.  Here, have another shot of Dean anxiously cleaning his gun as he always does when Cas has Gone Off For Reasons -

Anyway, this feels like a filler episode at first, but as always they bury the ENTIRE damn world in it and I am here with my dossier to Unearth It.

Lets start with Bart (demon of terrible nicknames and microagressions) meeting the brothers at Smile Diner to talk about some spell or whatever. 

(I am not thinking about the Cherry Pie meta I AM NOT)

THEY HAVE THE AUDACITY to start with these lines immediately introducing the theme of duality, a thread throughout this episode.

BARTHAMUS

Everything. I've been following your careers a long time. You're a real pain in the pitchfork. And the halo. Natural disrupters. We have that in common, you and I. DEAN

Mm. Yeah, we're twinsies.

***MORE DUALITY!  But as we know, Dean does not like Bart because He Is A Freakin’ Demon

DEAN

Well, see, here's the thing. When a demon tells us to jump, we don't ask how high. We just ice their ass.

UMMM excuse me Barting Bacting Boices?  What is that sexual gaze?  

Then we find out that Bart has 1/2 of the spell.  They need the other 1/2.  Oh, a spell with two parts, you say? [ I am going to scream :) ]

***Also, Dean eats the pie Bart ordered.  I cannot begin to explain to you the state of unwellness that I am in regarding how important this is. DEAN NEVER GETS TO EAT THE PIE, remember?  But in This Filler Episode, Dean eats the pie. While Sam looks at him with a very quizzical expression.  Pie -> what Dean wants but never actually gets -> Dean actively eating this pie.  Dean is coming to terms that maybe he can have what he wants.

***I am reminding you again that this is post widower-arc, post-reunion, and especially post-Tombstone.  Anyway-

Now we get to Smash and Grab.  Not literally even though I want to Commit Such Conduct at this point.  We are introduced to two one off characters named 

Smash (human/female presenting) -  can crack any safe built by man 

and Grab (demon/male presenting)-  expert in bypassing supernatural security.

Reaching or no, you can’t disagree that when spn introduces one off characters - it is almost always a Narrative Parallel or Mirror.

So we have a human and a demon (and Dean Winchester, a human who has been a demon)

who are experts in cracking open/bypassing something that has been secured and guarded (breaking down walls, if you will).  

They also use fake names identifying them as Tools to be Used ( Dean Winchester, the Michael Sword/daddys blunt little instrument)

BONUS:

Dean himself is literally used as a tool in this episode.

So yeah.  Smash and Grab are physical representations of Dean’s duality.  Human/Demon.  Femininity/Masculinity.  Dare we say something else, too?

Anyway, Dean is paired with Smash and Grab; Sam is off to idk negotiate weird artifact purchases lawboy style with Luther Shrike, a man who cannot die so long as he never leaves his house (I cannot even begin to unpack this shit; please just sit there and think about it.  I’m not even going there here.  I CANNOT DISCUSS Luther Shrike RN).

Speaking of things I cannot discuss without halgdhsag;lsa - Smash has very Specific boots (a look overall, really).

DEAN

Hey, Winona. The '90s called. They'd like their shoes back. SMASH

Shh.

***That’s right girl - do not take his shit; he actually LOVES them and is therefore Overcompensating for it with this little jab.

***Dean’s pop culture references and particular attention to the details here Should Not Be Overlooked.  90s! Winona! Ryder!

ANYWAY, then Dean and Smash bond over a caffeinated beverage -

[While Dean is doing a spell, Smash opens a can of drink, takes a mouthful and burps loudly. ] SMASH

Ahh. DEAN

You're weird.

***This scene makes me literally insane. (even aside from Dean living on something named NERVE DAMAGE as a KID.  They could have called it anything. You’re saying this wasn’t a Choice)  

She chugs a swallow of the drink and burps.  Something stereotypically associated with masculinity.  Not feminine.  Dean’s reaction is that she is “weird” - because she is not acting in a way stereotypically, J*hn Winchester brain-rot patriarchy bullshit-tily associated with Being Female.  But also, says the stupid show, they like the same soda.  They are The Same.  She shares the soda with Dean.  HIS FACE WHEN SHE DOES -

Other similarities are addressed throughout the episode (they are working for demons because they have no choice; they don’t discuss feelings/emotions, they both sold their soul, they both This Thing - 

DEAN

You know, we could help you. SMASH

No, you can't. I gotta take care of me.

etc. etc.) Smash is absolutely dean-coded.

****Also it’s textually established that Smash thinks Dean is attractive -

GRAB

[looking at Smash] Oh. You said he was just a pretty face. SMASH 

Shh.

***But Grab flirts with him too.

DEAN

I will kill you. GRAB

I bet you say that to all the girls.

***sorry, Grab - you won’t get far with Dean, but only because as he mentioned in the beginning of this episode - 

Drowley rights.

Now Dean has to put his hand in the mouth of this stone lion thing and all of a sudden he is acting....very-not-like-Dean.

[Dean looks again and takes a deep breath.] DEAN

I… how about this? What if I cut myself, put it on, like, a little piece of paper? We'll just wad it up and throw it in the mouth, okay? Okay. 

***Dean Winchester, who has been to Literal HELL, who has been torn apart by hellhounds, who has battled the devil and angels and God’s sister - all at the expense of his own life is now - afraid of spiders.  Well, technically he has always been afraid of spiders, but why isn’t ‘he being performative about it At This Time??

***Come to think of it, this sends me right back to how Jackles was playing Dean in 12x11 Regarding Dean THE episode dissecting Dean’s performative masculinity [one day I will clean up and post that analysis sitting in my drafts like a sad hamster]. That makes sense actually, because -> -> ->

that episode and this one are both written by Meredith Glynn.  Girl get in I want to torture you affectionately with a barrage of questions.

So here we have Dean and he’s not performing for Reasons, and he’s scared he’s genuinely scared of putting his hand in this stone lion-gargoyle-pig-creature’s mouth and then -

Smash gives him a push.

She gives him a push.  I cannot stop thinking about how she gives him a push.  A push to go do this thing that he is scared of; his fear being something he was hiding under his performative masculinity. Smash - dean coded dean mirror who does not perform femininity and is ‘weird’ -  she   gives   him   a     p u s h.

***linking here for the jackting joices that follow.

Now, let’s circle back to Smash’s story; why she is working for Bart in the first place -

SMASH

You think I wanna be here? Like I have a choice? SAM

You made a deal. SMASH

Wow! You think? SAM

You sold your soul. SMASH

And if I could take it back, I would. 

there is no reason for this picture here other than I needed you to see the jackting again

***How does the story end for Smash?

DEAN

Take care of you. [Dean glances down at the box, and then at Smash. She sees that Dean has put a lighter on top of the bones.]  BARTHAMUS

Alice, chop chop! 

[Bart indicates she should get his bones]. SMASH

Yeah. [She grabs the lighter and sets Bart's bones alight. Bart screams as he bursts into flames. ] 

***She accepts help and breaks free from the narrative, literally burning it down. The female presenting but not female-performing “weird” ooc representing a side of Dean breaks FREE because she makes a choice.  The lighter Dean drops? It’s a push.  And she goes with it.

Alice reclaims her story.

(Also, Grab gets ganked.  The male presenting ooc; the performative masculinity side; the demon; the darkness; the not-humanity - gets ganked).

Guess what Dean says to Alice when they say goodbye?

DEAN

Hey, Alice. Stay weird.

[I know the peace sign is probably just a Charlie throwback but I’d still like to say duality.  Two. ]

Dean’s not just talking to Alice.  He’s talking to himself; because the walls have been breached and for once Dean isn’t as scared of being different.  Maybe, just maybe, he’s going along with the push.  That’s exactly how the episode ends - with Dean feeling a little more hopeful, a little more at peace; a little more Considering he is capable of not only loving Cas but also not hating himself for it. 

[until the knowledge that Mary is still alive and the guilt of allowing himself ANY happy thoughts instead of looking for her miserably rears its ugly head in 13x09 and round and round we go but for NOW at least -> ]

DEAN

I'll drink to that.

(oh look Dean is just wearing his henley.  It’s almost as if a layer has been peeled back).

tagging @im-shaking-like-milk​ and @deanwasalwaysbi​ for letting me ramble on to them while writing this; and @lilac-void​ because you are always so kind about my stuff :)

[loth-wolffe]

About that Fox post: i absolutely love you for writing it, thank you for that

Also, for your consideration:

- Where were you during the zillo beast attack?

- throwing a surprise birthday party for him?

- going shopping together

- I have a scenario that him dating an investigative journalist would be very chaotic, any thoughts?

- what's the friendship with his brothers like?

- why do i fell he would be good with kids? Like your nephew or something

- on that note, does he get the dad genes from Jango?

- post-war AU? in the timeline where Palpatine chokes and dies like he's supposed to

- Getting!! Married!! (eventualy)

many Fox thoughts today, many thoughts

sorry this is so long, I have little self control and a lots of love for fox. i love u so much for asking this and letting me explore what a life with fox would be like.

also I apologize for being a h*rny bitch and not controling myself, so nsfw thots are marked like this so if u wanna skip that's fine.

and uh, first I'm gonna answer the investigative journalist hc and base everything about this in that solely thought because that's a galaxy brain thing to say.

I have a scenario that him dating an investigative journalist would be very chaotic, any thoughts?

AHDJSJ I LOVE THIS. okay okay but I feel like because of this job this is exactly why you guys met, like you needed some info and you asked some shiny but he didn't know a thing and you were like "is there someone I can talk with about this?" and when he's about to reply, Fox enters in action and he's like "need anything?" but sO COCKY.

he hates journalists mostly because some of them treat the clones very badly and never talk about the casualties or that kind of stuff about war, right.

like, it would turn into this-- banter filled with sexual tension that would've ended up in a make out session if 1. fox didn't have that much of self control and two if he weren't wearing his bucket.

it'd be like

"listen man-"

"it's commander for you." a pause, "or sir."

or like

"i need to do other things if you don't mind."

"i can think of a few you could be doing right now." and the way your eyes run through his entire body, even if he's all covered in plastoid but damn you if he isn't the hottest man walking, and he actually shivers, and gulps, because it's not like he wasn't thinking about that either, pushing down your pants and railing you right then and there in that fucking filthy alley. he is well aware how his suddenly codpiece feels too tight, but you only smirk and go, "you know, like giving me the information I need?"

KDJSJ IMAGINE THE POWER. THE POSSIBILITIES.

it'd be so ridiculous, but you also caused this impression on him that when you turned away to go on your business he was dEVASTED, but he didn't want to let u know he actually liked you. He's stubborn, that man.

So by some miracle when you're investigating something, you guys run into each other bc he's on patrol or something and he's GIDDY. but also frozen in place bc he didn't think he would ever see you again, mostly because Coruscant is big and has too many people in it. and you're like

"ah, commander fox, isn't it?" and he quickly resumes to say something that shows how aNNOYED he pretends to be, but he ends up tagging alone because "these parts are not safe"

"oh?"

"you'd need protection."

and the smirk you have is sO ARROGANT because it's not your first rodeo.

"you wouldn't want to have a civvie getting killed or something on your watch now, would you?" and he clears his throat and nods sharply. and you give him this innocent eyes and bat your lashes, "my hero."

and if you think those words didn't do aNYTHING to him, you're mistaken u hear me, he's instantly hARD.

so anyways after that YOU ask him out, and he's like, stuttering and saying yes and all.

now some random thoughts on this magnificent hc.

• if it can't be himself, he would always have the men he trusts the most going on patrols around the zone you're around in case something happens.

• he lOVES when you rant about something new you discovered, and when he asks for mOre info bc he's a, how do you say chismoso?, he loves gossip??? anyways and you're like "nu huh, you gotta wait till tomorrow, foxie"

• he aLWAYS makes sure to read/see your job, either if you work for some newspaper, magazine, etc or if you're on the TV he nEVER misses it.

• if you work for the TV, his brothers are always like "fOX YOUR GIRL IS ON THE HOLONET LIKE RN!!!" and he gives them this bitch face because he kNOWS THANK YOU.

• alright but imagine going on dates with him and being like "did you know there was an investigation last year around this part that–?" ROMANCE AT ITS PEAK.

• if his shift ends before you even think of going home, he definitely joins you on your investigations.

Where were you during the zillo beast attack?

uhh, I think you'd be home, like maybe you turned in early and fox maybe didn't know, so he was almost in tears when he called you after the whole thing happened because he was so worried.

of course, during the attack, he tried to push the thought aside, bc I think all clones have this, uh, switch, that makes them not worry during missions that much? just like, have this thought here and there but nothing serious that would make them paralyzed and have a panic attack right there. but every second he thought of you and hoped you were alright.

unlike you, that were worried sick because you saw the chaos unfold, the troopers arriving in shuttles and the jedi doing whatever they were doing and you just heard destruction. you DID cried a bit and when fox called you, you cried even harder. and he was like "it's alright, I'm alright baby."

that night he hold you SO tight, whispering sweet nothings on your ear and never stopped kissing you once. you barely got any sleep because you were so afraid of waking up only to find out the other died on the attack and it was all a dream.

throwing a surprise birthday party for him?

AAAAAH THIS IS SO CUTE.

now, clones don't exactly have a birthday???? but he did all these nice things for your birthday (he and the boys baked you a cake that was sO UGLY and tasted a bit weird) so you thought you could surprise him too.

it's most likely he gives you the date when he graduated from Kamino or something and for all the years you're with him, you never miss his "birthday" at first you did something quiet, like a dinner at your place, bought him something nice, gave him a bath or something and spoiled the shit out of him.

so for the second year, you threw him a party in his office, made him this cake or whatever and decorated with red and white balloons and invited a few troopers that wanted to help you and he was stoic for a moment, but then you were like "hAPPY BIRTHDAY!" and hugged him so tight and he relaxed under your touch and whispered this small "thank you baby"

everyone congratulated him and he was a bit awkward but when they start telling all these stories of them and fox on the job, he starts to loosen up a bit, so while everyone is eating cake he hugs you from behind and chuckling lowly in your ear as he listens to his brothers.

he dOESNT like pda like I said but he forgets for a moment because he just loves you sO SO SO SO MUCH. it's also easier for him to whisper filthy things into your ear and mumble how good you are for him, that he doesn't deserve you, that he can't wait for everyone to leave cause he wants to have his present (you) nipping your earlobe and making u all hot and bothered and would def fuck you nice and hard on his desk. yup

going shopping together

imagine, jUST IMAGINE, he'd look like your personal bodyguard 😭😭 like, he'd be behind you carrying most of your bags and people would look at you wondering who are you, why are you sO important to have the commander of the Coruscant guard with you???

but like, you don't care and fox doesn't even notice, and he'd be so attentive, faking to be both annoyed and uninterested but he'd see this nice shirt or dress or whatever and grumble something like "you'd look good on this" i just-

and like when you pass by the lingerie store, dUDE, he'd make you model for him, him sitting like he fucking owns the place, getting harder and harder every time he sees you in a new pair of underwear and when you show off this cute little red set. damn.

if you go to the market or something, he'd always love to show you these things like "look at that" or just pull you towards this stall and you'd adORE to show him stuff like, "ohh, fox here try this" or "what you think about this?" and stuff like that.

what's the friendship with his brothers like?

i think it'd be very easy-going and light, they would tease you sometimes, but they really like you, mostly because they see fox isn't as stressed as before and they see how happy he is when around you.

they think he deserve it, to have somewhere where he's free and loved, so yeah.

they sometimes ask him about you and never miss a chance to say hi when you stop by the office.

the boys absolutely ADORE you.

why do i fell he would be good with kids? Like your nephew or something. does he get the dad genes from Jango?

HE WOULD AND HE DOES.

like, I think at first he'd be very hesitant when it comes to children, like he'd be nervous when you introduce him to your niece and when you ask him if he wants to hold her, he says a quick no and just prefers to watch you, heart feeling funny when you make faces at the little baby in your arms.

at some point he dOES hold her, with such care and a gentleness that makes your heart flutter, and he coos softly as she sleeps soundly in his arms, rocking her with a delicacy you thought impossible from such hard man, and when he looks at you his eyes shine with this flash of something you can quite place but makes your heart skip a beat and think of how much you'd love to have this, with him, a little family, a baby that has his curls and maybe your eyes, a mix of your skin color with his and maybe his stubbornness completed by your charisma. a perfect little thing for you two to hold and care and love.

he'd be such a good dad, but then again every clone would be the most fantastic dad bc it's literally in their genes.

if you have a nephew that is, u know, older but still a kiddie, like 5 or 6, the lil boy would be aMAZED by fox, he'd love him so much, like imagine, always asking for the commander, wanting to play with him, asking fox to carry him eVERYWHERE, and at first fox would be like, shy and uncertain and he wouldn't know how to act until he accepts the fact that this little boy really likes him and looks up to him and fox becomes The Cool Uncle™

post-war AU? in the timeline where Palpatine chokes and dies like he's supposed to and Getting!! Married!! (eventualy)

well, in my post-war AU, clones get Rights™ and get paid and have vacations and stuff, sO, maybe you get to have Fox for a little more time and his schedule isn't as bad as it was during the war, so maybe after the war you get home to a nice dinner and fox using this silly apron and sometimes you come home early just so you can cook with him.

maybe you go on holidays to these nice places, going to the beach or the woods and finally settling somewhere quiet, start a family in this nice house or if you don't want kids then it's just the two of you and maybe a few pets.

i think the wedding would be officiated in Coruscant, of course, so his brothers and your fam can go, he'd definitely cry when he see you walking down the isle or when you put the ring on his finger and he'd be so so so happy, dancing with you all night, being so clingy because he's just Over the moon, y'know, kissing your cheeks and neck, whispering how lucky he is and how much he loves you, and how good you look, never leaving your side and always leaning over with pouty lips for you to kiss him.

when he proposed it was during one of your sweet, soft times with him, maybe in the aftertaste of your sexy times, as he holds you close to his chest, fingers running up and down your skin, as he stares at the ceiling and the question comes out as if he were talking about the weather, his heartbeat is slow and steady and it's one of those times he feels confident and sure.

you have talked about a future together, so he knows you'd say yes.

it's more a statement than a question, really.

"marry me." he would say, so quietly, almost a whisper. and when you look up you only find this beautiful emotion filling his eyes.

"what?" you just want to make sure you heard right, he'd smile softly, cup your cheek and as his thumb caresses your skin he'd whisper.

"will you marry me?"

you oBVIOUSLY say yes while ugly sobbing.

[terrestrialtoads]

Since tumblr is being sussy and not letting me change the...kinda childish embarrassing thingy up there I decided to introduce myself here.

But yknow what I should be allowed to be childish and not feel embarased

Anyways hello there.

I am dun dun dun me, aka zeke/zeni (with aye aye captain)

My birthday is on the 7th of February so that

You can use any pronouns but I prefer they/them

I'm a panromantic asexual

My interests are literally everything actually like marvel I'm there haikyuu I'm here for it swiftie you belong with meeee but yeah I love reading I love closing the doors, turning off the lights and leaving just a single lamp on and pretending no one's gonna disturb me or smthn

I also...write poetry sometimes this was supposed to be just poetry but I have a friend called Alex and well he's just...i have no words but tomatoes

I also watch football sometimes ig I like Liverpool and formula 1 omg I love formula 1

Honestly I love all the drivers but seb max Lewis lando leclerc got a special place also bottass I feel sorry for the lad he always gets overlooked I feel like

Is this too long idc I feel like dancing no don't wrote random stuff here

Anyways I'm still...i think I'm non binary for now but once my mids are over I want to explore more

Well real life is hard sometimes and texting is fun and I hope I'll make some cool online friends through tumblr and just...i want an online safe space tbh and maybe tumblr can be it?

Idk I have many poems which I'm too scared to post but idk maybe I'll post some today

Also I love watching movies and tv shows ie fast n furious star wars stranger things umbrella academy barney adventure time princess bubblegum and marceline (I love them both) GRAVITY FALLS OML I LOVE IT SO MUCH and i wanna get into Steven universe but idk oh yeah and pjo and maze runner and jpop and electro pop and rap and music and music and music and a good book together and hot chocolate and ice cream and chill music and slow music and old music I love music

On that note I hope you have fun reading my writings and my random thoughts and my reblogs and interacting with me if ya want

Peace out?

Hastag Yolo

Hastag yodo

[smutty-ki113r]

Greetings and salutations, hope I don’t bother you to much. May I please have a romantic matchup for creepypasta? You can do some nsfw stuff too if you’d like, no pressure though. My pronouns are They/Them and I’m bisexual with a preference to masculinity. My Myers Briggs type is INFJ and Enneagram type is 4. My star sign is Taurus, moon sign is Gemini. Im about 4’11..not to happy about it. I’m rather introverted, and can be considered not a people person. Because of me dressing in all black and taking a liking to gruesome and morbid things like slashers and murder documentaries. I also like to visit abandoned hospitals and houses just for fun, along with playing quite a few escape rooms. A friend of mine even likes to call me "discount vomitboyx". I’ve also been called "doomer boy kinnie" before. I also can come off a little bipolar. I’ve come to the conclusion I just scare people off. In reality, I’m intimidated by everyone around me and find it hard to start conversing, which may or may not come off as rude to people. When I finally become comfortable with someone I start to become really sarcastic and joke around with them with witty banter. Most of my humor comes off really insulting, but I’ll apologize and say it’s a joke if it becomes a problem. Lots of people don’t like me or stay away from me because of my rude behavior. I’m not good with overly sensitive or overly annoying people at all because of that, and I can’t stand kids. I’m a huge animal person though. I have my moments where I can get really feisty, or very quiet and closed off. I’m the type of person that has lots of opinions on things but I keep them to myself and bottle them up. If pushed far enough I’ll become unforgiving, and aggressive. Especially with the types mentioned above. I find the most comfort in just being in my room drawing, reading and or listening to music ( My Chemical Romance, Arch Enemy, MurderDolls, Mindless Self Indulgence, Get Scared, sometimes Will Wood, Lemon Demon or Mother Mother, etc. ), or even occasionally gaming on my switch or read and talk about Greek mythology. I’m a plushie maniac and when I fall asleep you can always see me cuddled up to one of them. I find it because I’m really touch starved. I’m guilty of being very submissive, and the slightest touch can fluster me like crazy. Especially around my sensitive areas ( neck, thighs, hips, crotch, and hair.). Call me a masochist, but rough love has always been a fantasy of mine. I suffer from asperger syndrome, depression and anxiety. I have small tics, but they only flare when I’m stressed or mad. I’ve also been developing a eating disorder. Random fact, I wear chokers a lot, so my family sometimes barks at me like a dog. It’s annoying as fuck. If you do get to this, thanks for your time. - coii

I match you with…..💕JEFF💕

Slight NSFW bellow~

You sort of sound like a less intense Jeff, but that also means you would be able to understand him because you share similar behaviors. Plus it looks like you like some things he likes so I’m gonna give it to you. ALSO WAS THAT A HEATHERS REFERENCE? BECAUSE IM GONNA WRITE A JEFF FIC BASED ON DEAD GIRL WALKING.

I think Jeff is a hypocrite but dosen’t realize it. He would probably call you emo or something and then fail to acknowledge himself. (This is purely satire). If he sat down and watched slasher films he would say such: “I could do it better” or “wanna recreate this? I could show you how”. Jeff isn’t one to be afraid of others but he most definitely scares them off, he’d probably stick by your side and make it so that you guys are a really intimidating couple.

Congrats! Jeff’s humor also comes off as super insulting, but I’m sure you will learn it’s just a joke and start using insulting- as flirting. Jeff is a dog guy, cause of Smile obviously, so you’re good on the animal person front. Bottling up emotions and then turning aggressive, sounds just like him. If you did break past your limit though I feel like it would be in an argument with him and you would both just end up sobbing to eachother, a bit sentimental and a bonding moment. Side note, Jeff likes that music too.

Touch starved you say? You know who else is touch starved? Jeff. Hug him please, once you do he won’t let go. If you fall asleep in his arms he will definitely run his fingers through your hair and if you wake up he’ll claim there was a bug on your face. He will explore all the abandoned places you want, or if you’re alone he will scare you. He’s that kind of guy.

ROUGH LOVE, yeah that’s Jeff. Will for sure fuck you good and hard so you can’t walk after, loves to see your legs shake. He will wear a cocky grin so make sure to slap him to get it off. If you want him to hurt you he will gladly do so-physically- I don’t think he wants to see you cry. Ties you up and all that jazz too, slapping and choking like a master.

This is just my note to you, eating disorders are hell. I know it feels like amazing 3/10 % of the time but (wait thats wrong, i can’t math im gay.) but anyway, the early stages are when you have to act. I encourage you to seek treatment of some sort, I know it can be overwhelming and the guilt is just unbearable, especially as time goes on. Dosen’t matter what you look like and what kind of ed it is, they are all bad and can be extremely dangerous. I would know, I almost died. But also, I know you’re just trying to find a balance but sometimes that can be hard. I’m proud of you because I know deep down you just want to feel ok.

(Btw, for educational purposes: Bipolar disorder /there are 2 types/ isn’t “crazy”, it’s categorized by a series of manic phases switching to depressive phases for weeks up to months. It’s also manic depression, having no motivation and such and then feeling like you can do anything and there will be no consequence)

[sometimes-love-is-enough]

do you have any spicy hot takes you wanna drop 👀👀?? i will drop one as well, i think that everyone got carried away with the whole sympathetic and unsympathetic stuff -💫

okay so i read the first sentence and i was like ‘fuck yes time to talk about the sympathetic/unsympathetic thing’ and then i read the rest of it and yeah okay so we’re on the same page here. i have a feeling this is going to get extensive so if you don’t want to hear me complaining about stuff that you may or may not like don’t go reading under the cut. Also it's not going to be very coherent

disclaimer: i am not trying to police the fandom or trying to tell anyone that they can’t write stuff. i do my best to stay in my lane and read/consume content that i want to. these are just. feelings i have.

so on the one hand i sort of understand where the whole concept sprung from. it’s hard to write interesting longform stories without a villain of some sort, it’s not as if there’s all that many characters in the first place, and sometimes using the Dragon Witch doesn’t quite cut it. and honestly if you take away the whole ‘they’re all part of the same person’ thing it would’ve been pretty easy to assume that Deceit was the bad guy when he first showed up. he went the whole ‘ominous smirking, evil laughter’ route because he’s a dramatic little bastard, and some people were like 'my son, I love him' and others went 'evil man! Evil! He's planning bad things' and on a purely mechanical level having tags that distinguish people who think a character is good vs people who think a character is evil is a good thing, it helps you distinguish content you want to look at from the content that you don't!

HOWEVER. I think the idea of characters being 'sympathetic' or 'unsympathetic' in the way that this fandom uses those terms is innately flawed. It's black-and-white thinking and it veers close to the whole puritan thing that tumblr is so fond of. And in most cases 'unsympathetic' is just an excuse to write characters as toxic, abusive, and just downright cruel without having to explain yourself. Which is. Hm. And also just lazy writing.

This bit might be tmi but: Patton actually used to be my favorite Sanders Sides character. But back when i initially got into the fandom, I hadn't quite worked out how to filter the content I looked through yet, and I just kept seeing this... constant stream of stuff involving him being abusive to the others in a way that was hm how shall i say this. Uncomfortably familiar. especially with a lot of religious guilt themes. It's not anyone's fault, precisely, but it did tinge a lot of my fandom experience, and it maaaay be why i'm not great at writing him. Doesn't matter. The point is... There wasn't a point. I'm just still bitter about that and wanted to mention it. Maybe i'm angrier about this than i thought i was. Let's not talk about that. Let's move on with this discussion.

You'll notice that i used Janus as an example up there at the top. I can't be sure (and actually it grimly fascinates me so if anybody who's been around here longer than I have has any info on this send it over, I'd love to know) but I think that Deceit's appearance in CLBG may have marked the beginning of this whole unsympathetic/sympathetic split in the fandom. It seems a safe enough bet, anyway, especially since the earliest example I can find of any fic being tagged 'unsympathetic' in the AO3 archive is from 4th February 2018, literally the day after CLBG went up. (damn, guys, moving fast). 

The first occurrences of the 'sympathetic' tag crop up about a month later. Tumblr is impossible to search so I don't know if there was any discussion about terms, or if it was just a kind of snowball effect with people seeing the tags and tagging their own fics as appropriate (and this is a fascinating phenomena in itself!) but either way - i have absolutely no idea what happened to make people go from 'we're divided on whether this character who presents himself a villain is actually doing bad and detrimental things to the other sides/thomas/the world as a whole/innocent puppies' to 'hang on what if the other sides were kicking puppies also?'

So now this has turned from a rant about terminology into me being genuinely curious about this whole thing. I will put the rant on pause while I go scour AO3 to see when the first occurrences of the tags popped up. Please hold.

Okay. I'm going to ignore the unsympathetic tags for anyone who's not a side because i don't hate myself nearly that much (but uh for the record. There is a part of this fandom that thinks the LITERAL CONCEPT OF SLEEP IS EVIL and i'm not sure if i should be impressed or horrified. What? What???)

All of these numbers are up-to-date as of 17/06/2020, which is when I'm posting this. I'm probably not going to update that, so keep that in mind if you're reading this in the future.

In order of chronological appearance:

Unsympathetic Janus ('Deceit' at the time, of course) - first appears 12 March 2018, 191 works Unsympathetic Roman - first appears 10 February 2019, 102 works Unsympathetic Logan - first appears 24 June 2019, 59 works Unsympathetic Patton - first appears 2 July 2019, 228 works Unsympathetic Remus - first appears 17 July, 2019, 121 works Unsympathetic Virgil - first appears 31 July 2019, 71 works

...I genuinely don't know what I expected.

The fandom was much slower to spark with Unsympathetic Remus content after he first showed up, which is kind of interesting. Unless they just didn't bother to tag it? Like, I'm working with the assumption that everyone's tagging all of their content, which might not always be the case

I thought there'd be so much more Janus and Remus-tagged fics than there actually are.

It does not surprise me that Patton has the most in this category. It makes me sad but it doesn't surprise me. Why are you guys so intent on making him evil

And on the opposite side of the sympathy spectrum (similarly chronological):

Sympathetic Janus - first appears 7 March 2018, 1920 works Sympathetic Remus - first appears 2 July 2019, 965 works Sympathetic Patton - first appears 31 July 2019, 71 works Sympathetic Virgil - first appears 1 August 2019, 69 works (nice) Sympathetic Logan - first appears 8 August 2019, 41 works Sympathetic Roman - first appears 20 August, 56 works

It's actually wild that 'Sympathetic [Janus]' seems to have appeared several days between Unsympathetic Jan made any appearance.

There were several Remus fics that were backtagged to before DWIT was released. I ignored them because it was throwing this off a bit. there may be other problems to this effect in any of the other stats, but i’m too lazy to go back and check those all one-by-one

Sympathetic tags in general seem to be used as, hm, there's a word here i can't quite think of. Basically, 'Sympathetic' seems to be the default setting for characters like Virgil, Patton, Roman, Logan (the 'Light Sides', although i take issue with that terms as well. This isn't the time for that, though. Statistics!!) which 'Unsympathetic' used to be the default for Janus and Remus. That's become slightly more elastic of late, though. Basically if you're using the Sympathetic tag for anyone who's not a 'Dark Side' you're usually doing it to make a point of something. e.g. if you have other sides who aren't usually unsympathetic as such and you're trying to clarify that yes, these specific ones are Okay. Or if you're just being thorough. Anyway that's why LAMP seem to have less works tagged as Symp than the other two.

All the sympathetic tags for non-Janus characters seem to have sprung up in quick succession over a short period of months! I have no idea what this means but it's strange and cool to look at

If you're wondering about the discrepancy between this information and my earlier note that the first appearance of 'unsympathetic' as an AO3 tag was the day after CLBG came out - that fic in question had a general 'unsympathetic dark sides' tag, no specific tags mentioned.

Okay statistics segue over. The only point of that apart from scientific curiosity was to try to puzzle out where the fuck this all stemmed from. I still have no answers.

I need you all to understand that 'Sympathetic' no longer looks like a real word to me.

So. Remember how i mentioned how this fandom managed to make unsympathetic!Remy/Sleep a thing? Yeah. That baffles me. I haven't seen unsympathetic Dr Picani anywhere yet but I know it's only a matter of time and that lowkey horrifies me. But that's not really the most baffling thing because, uh

Well. earlier this week I accidentally stumbled into a corner of tumblr that's dedicated to unsympathetic character Thomas content. If you're a fan of that, i'd advise you to click away from this post now because i'm about to get very angry about that and i don't want to make you upset. Thank you.

What the fuck. literally all of the posts in this corner of tumblr are about c!thomas abusing the sides and being a terrible person??? ??????? ????? WHAT? can we just take a step back and. WHY? WHY are you doing this? Are we watching the same show? from a psychological standpoint, that's self-abuse and self-harm and i suppose it might be interesting if you explored it as such but APPARENTLY NO. apparently that's not what this is about. This is just about writing about someone being abusive to other people for the sake of it. there were so many posts about him 'abusing the sides by telling them they're not real people' and. OKAY so a) he wouldn't do that b) THEY AREN'T. THEY LITERALLY AREN'T REAL PEOPLE WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

[deep breath]

so actually i think that kind of leads me back to the point of this whole thing.  I had a point, what? It surprises me too, don't worry. The point is (roughly) that writing characters as 'unsympathetic' isn't something that i have an objection to at all. Everybody has the capacity to be cruel! Nobody's perfect!! But with the sympathetic/un labels it seems to enforce this strict dichotomy of good vs bad. Either Logan is an abusive monster OR he's a perfect angel. Guys. That's not how it works. And it's not INTERESTING if you do that sort of thing because then you've got people being unnecessarily cruel and evil for the sake of it. They turn into 2-dimensional caricatures that only exist to be bad people. 

People make mistakes! I write about characters making mistakes all the time! Janus and Remus pulling the whole trolley problem thing in Pick A Side definitely wasn't a great thing for them to do, but I didn't tag them as unsympathetic at the time and i have no plan to do so because i don't want to write them as two-dimensional caricatures who are only capable of one of two settings on the morality meter.  (same goes for the next chapter, whenever that comes up but... let’s talk about that when i post it, maybe)That's boring. If you're going to take characters and make them into antagonists just because you can't think of anyone else to fit the role, and you're doing it by stripping away everything that makes them Them, then you might as well just stuff a paper bag with straw and cast a scarecrow as the villain instead because buddy. You're making a strawman. That's what you're doing. You can't have Patton without kindness and well-meaningness, just as you can't have Patton without the mistakes caused by those two things. Same goes for the other sides and their flaws and strengths.

And then there's the other thing that's definitely more specific to this fandom, which I think was best summarized with something i said in the comments section of Pick A Side with len at like ten minutes past midnight that one time:

(...) and not necessarily related to anything you said, but - this fandom is kind of unique in that... there's no actual bad guys or villains. (at least that's how i perceive it.) The Real Villain Is Your Poor Mental Health. people are always like 'unsympathetic deceit' or 'unsympathetic patton' and point to different points in the videos as evidence, ('i give you permission to think those thoughts' patton's being controlling - that's abuse) but like. it's all the same guy. he's giving himself permission. he's doing it to himself. imagine if we tagged other fandom characters with like 'Unsympathetic Harry Potter' when he was being mean or critical to himself. wild.

 So yeah. In conclusion: obviously people should write what they like. If they see characters one way and they want to write about them being two-dimensional monsters that's fine. I kind of wish you'd put more thought into it and make it at least interesting if you're going to do that sort of thing, but you do you i guess.

That being said. If I see any more unsympathetic!Patton content I will start crying. i want to love Goofy Dad Man the same way i used to 

[crashdevlin]

For Tonight

Author’s Note: Set in mid-season two. @impala-dreamer said "Write some Dean." So I wrote some Dean. Was supposed to be a drabble but it ended up a fic. Trying this again because I had to delete the first post because tumblr sucks sometimes.

Summary: Dean Winchester doesn’t really want anything to do with Y/n…right?

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1908

Chapter Warnings: smut, 18+ HERE BE SEX! DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE A YOUNG’UN!!!, oral sex (fem and male rec), protected sex, angst, self-esteem issues

“He’s not interested,” Jo said, coming to rest against the bar top. “And you’re gonna make him uncomfortable if you keep staring.” I look away from Dean Winchester, Adonis with green eyes, and look at my beer instead. “I know he flirts with you, honey, but he also rejects you. What’d he say last time he was in? ‘You couldn’t handle me, sweetheart’.”

Right. That’s exactly what he said. I bite my lip and sigh. She’s right. It’s not the first time I’ve been in this position. I’m fun to flirt with, I turn adorable shades of red, but of course it’ll never go further than that. Someone like that will never actually want me.

“Aw, com’on! Don’t feel bad! There’s plenty’a other guys come in the roadhouse. Let me set you up with one’a them.”

“I can find my own...Thank you, Jo. Can I get another beer, please?” I try to keep the dejected tone out of my voice, but it seeps in, anyway.

“Sure, hon.” She pats my back as she circles around behind the bar.

I take the beer away from the bar and hide myself in the shadow of the corner. That becomes my new station in the Roadhouse over the next several months. I wave at him as he enters with his brother, but I don’t go to the bar to flirt with him, anymore. He acknowledges my presence every time, but he doesn’t make any effort to come talk to me. Jo was right. I was crazy to think-

“Why are you always alone, huh, kid?” He approaches for the first time in months, whiskey on his breath and sadness in his eyes that he’s trying to hide behind a smile.

“Nobody likes me,” I answer shortly, taking a drink of my beer.

He sits on the stool across from me and takes a drink of his whiskey. “I like you.”

“No, you don’t,” I counter, a small smile on my face. “You’ve barely talked to me in the last couple months.”

“I’ve been busy. End of the world, demons poppin' up every-fuckin’-where, you know how it goes.”

I shrug. “I dunno. I haven’t done a whole lot of ‘End of the world’ stuff. Is it as exciting as it seems?”

That sparks a conversation about crossroads demons and crazy Gordon Walker and the Yellow-Eyed Demon that killed his mother. He gets drunk and drunker as he talks, but I maintain a gentle buzz. I can’t afford to lose control of myself. I might do something to make him uncomfortable.

“Why don’ you flirt with me anymore, huh?” he asks, leaning close to me. “I mean, Jo ain’t here to get fussy.”

“Futile flirting doesn’t appeal right now, Winchester.”

His eyebrows scrunch together. “Futile? I thought it was fun.”

“And nothing more than that. No matter how much I want you, it’s never-” I clamp my lips closed. I don’t wanna ruin his night with my emotional hang-ups.

“You want me?” he asks, his voice going deep and his eyes focusing on my lips. I nod, looking away from him, embarrassed. “Then take me.”

My eyes jump to his and I get lost in pools of green. “Fuck. I have wanted you for fucking months…” I whisper.

“Then do it,” he demands.

I lean across the table and grab his flannel, pulling him closer and crashing my lips against his. His lips are so fucking soft and plump and his tongue tastes like whiskey and I can’t believe I’m kissing him, finally. God, it’s probably just the liquor. “Fuck, I-” I whisper as I pull away.

He grabs my wrist before I can pull too far away. “Look, I’m drunk and horny and if you want me...you can have me tonight.” He licks his lips. “But if you don’t do somethin’, I’m gonna go back to the motel by myself and sleep this off,” he finishes.

“I want you. My motel’s down the road.” I jump down from the stool and pull him off of his. He smirks as he follows me to the parking lot. We ride in his car, that sleek black Impala, to the motel down the road. I sit right next to him the entire way, hands under his shirt exploring a body I never thought I’d get to see, let alone touch.

He follows me to my door and I grab him by his flanel, pulling him into my room. An awkward feeling settles over me as I look up at him. He presses his lips to mine and smiles. “I’m yours tonight, sweetheart. Do whatever you want with me.”

I grab his collar and push his shirt down his arms, confidence filling me. I might only have him tonight and I’m gonna make the most of it. “Take your shirt off,” I say as I pull at his belt. He smirks and grabs the bottom hem of his black t-shirt, tugging it off over his head. He toes off his boots as I drop to my knees in front of him and tuck my fingers in his waistbands and pull his jeans and boxers to his feet.

He’s not hard, but it doesn’t take me long to get him that way, licking and sucking at him. I look up at him as I take his cock in as far as I can manage. His head is tilted back, eyes closed, jaw hanging. He looks like he’s in ecstasy. I put that look on his face.

I stumble backward and start pulling at my clothes as I half-crawl toward my duffel bag for a condom. “Bed, Winchester. I wanna ride.”

He chuckles and hops on the bed, tucking one hand behind his head and wrapping the other around his cock as he watched me strip. “Damn.”

“What?” I ask, dropping my clothes to the floor and ripping the condom wrapper open with my teeth.

“You got nice tits.”

I blush as I literally jump onto the bed. “Thank you. You’ve got a nice cock.”

“Thank you.” He winks at me as I start rolling the condom on him. His hands grab my waist as I throw a leg over him to straddle him. “You wanna maybe wait a sec? I’m ready to go but don’t you think we should get you-”

I grab his hand and move it to my pussy. His fingers slid along my lips and dip into me. He gasps just slightly, his eyes going just a bit wide. “That from suckin’ me off?” he asks.

“That’s from every moment since you said ‘Take me’.”

He licked his lips, pumping his fingers in and out of me a few times before pulling his hand to his mouth and licking my juices off of his skin. “Take a ride, then.”

I wrap my hand around his cock and line him up with my entrance, sinking down as much as possible. I set my hands on his chest and roll my hips until i have him completely inside me. He grips my waist, holding me tightly as I start to bounce. The noises he makes as I fuck myself on his cock make me feel powerful and amazing. This isn’t some pity fuck and it’s not just because of the liquor...he’s enjoying it.

“Fuck. Yeah, just like that,” he lets out between moans. He plants his feet on the bed and starts to thrust up into me, chasing his end. “Gotta cum, gorgeous. Fuck, need it.”

I don’t want it to be done. When am I ever gonna have a shot like this again? But who am I to tell him to wait? I double my speed and clench my pussy muscles as hard as I can. He makes a strangled noise and his fingers dig hard into my flesh. I’ll have bruises, but I want them. Some proof that this really happened for when I wake up in the morning.

There’s a few long moments of us just panting as his cock finishes draining into the latex before I pull off of him and flop to the bed next to him. He runs a hand through his hair and chuckles. “Shoulda been a cowgirl, y/n.”

I can’t help but smile. “Well, as long as you enjoyed the ride as much as I did.”

“I think I enjoyed it more,” he says, raising himself up on his elbows. “I came. You didn’t.”

“Oh, that doesn’t matter.”

“Like Hell, it doesn’t! This is my reputation on the line!”

I shake my head. “I don’t kiss and tell, Dean. Your legacy is secure.”

He sits up all the way and raises his eyebrow at me. “I don’t leave my ladies unsatisfied, and before you say ‘no one would know’, I would know. At the very least, you’re gonna cum on my tongue.”

I’m not gonna argue with that.

He grabs my ankle and pulls me to lay flat on the mattress. I lean up and watch him kiss his way up my skin, whimpering when he gets to my inner thigh. I throw my head back, eyes closed, as his tongue starts tracing my outer lips.

Fuck, he’s good. I’ve never had oral as good as this half-drunk hunter between my thighs feasting on my cunt like his life depends upon it.

I bury my hand in his hair as he slides two fingers inside of me and starts pumping them as fast as possible. “Dean, oh, God!”

“Come on, baby. Gimme what I want.” He crooks his fingers and I shriek, stars exploding across my vision as my body lets go, orgasm crashing over me. He sits back on his knees, licking his lips and sucking at his fingers. “There we go. Now, we’re even.”

He climbs up the bed and tucks himself under the sheet, sighing heavily as exhaustion weighs him down. “God, I needed this. I can’t even explain how much.”

“Well, I’m happy to provide, Winchester,” I say, setting my head against the pillow.

He hums, his eyes closing. “You did good, sweetheart.”

“Thanks.” He wraps his arm around me and pulls me into his side, letting his hand rest on my lower back. “Thank you for letting me have you for tonight, Dean.”

“Hmmm.” He nods and we both drift off into dreams.

I expect awkwardness when we wake, but he smiles as he offers to get us a couple breakfast burritos and we chat comfortably as we eat them. He drives me back to the Roadhouse to get my car and presses a kiss to my lips before I slide behind the steering wheel.

“You’re back at the bar?” Ash asks next time I walk into Harvelle’s.

I nod and take a drink of my beer. “I see why they accepted you to MIT, Ash. You’re a genius.”

“I am.” He looks down the bar where Dean and Sam are looking over manila folders filled with print-outs from Google about whatever case Ellen is pushing on them. “Thought you were all hung up on him. That’s why you were hiding, right?”

I chuckle. “I’m good, dude. I just needed some confirmation that I wasn’t crazy.” His eyebrows scrunch together and he flips his hair off of his shoulder. I take another drink of my beer and look across the bar. Dean catches my eyes and smiles. I raise my bottle and he does the same. Definitely wasn’t crazy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[cals-sunflower]

Resentment (Z.J)

Authors Note: this is for @cncopmhoe writing challenge!! Congratulations on 500 ❤️

Prompt: You hate him but it’s really just repressed feelings

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The boys decided to take you on vacation with them. No stress, no work and definitely no cares in the world. The group decided to go to Paris and you were excited because this was your first time going. The only problem was that you and Zabdiel didn’t get along. Always arguing and being at each other’s throat. But for your little bit of sanity, you were gonna try to stay out of his way.

“Woo, Paris here we come,” Chris cheers in the most funny but annoying way. “We literally still have to be on a plane for 10 hours idiot,” you replied ‘killing’ his joy as he likes to call it.

The airport was surprisingly not surrounded by the fans. It felt like a breath of fresh air because you absolutely loved the fans but you sometimes had anxiety in the bigger crowds. Joel leaned his shoulder on Erick and cuddled into him because he was the closest and your flight was delayed an hour.

“I’m so tired. I just wanna be in Paris right now,” Richard groaned with a pout. You looked over at him and rolled your eyes, “Richard please shut the hell up,” Richard raised his hands in surrender. It was 3 am and you couldn’t help but the snap at his constant whining. “Ugh I’m sorry Rich, I’m just tired,” you let out a frustrated sigh.

“Nah, you’re good shawty. Don’t trip,” He winked at you which at least made you give him a loopy smile. Zabdiel looked between the two of you and glared. He felt some type of way about the way you interacted with the guys and he wasn’t really sure as to why.

Finally, the plane was now boarding and each of you guys had first class. They only wanted the best for you but either way you would have been fine with a regular seat. The seating was you/Joel, Erick/Chris and Zabdiel/Richard. Once getting situated, you immediately pulled out your favorite book and began reading. Zabdiel couldn’t help be to stare in envy at the way you leaned on Joel reading the book in your hands.

———————

Flying into Paris was the best part because after everyone got their suitcases, it was off to the Airbnb that was rented. The apartment was cute and had top notch decor. You couldn’t wait to start exploring and what not.

“Welp, boys I call the master bedroom,” you walked into the direction of the master bedroom. Sitting your suitcase down and throwing yourself on the bed. Thank goodness for a king sized bed.

Meanwhile the boys found out there were only three rooms. Everyone had to have a partner room up with them.

“So yeah, Joel we’re rooming together,” Erick said in a quick second. Knowing that it was going to be a good pairing, they walked to another room.

“Zabdiel, go room with Y/n,” Richard said to the boy who’s jaw dropped upon hearing your name. “Hell no, you room with her since you guys are so close,” he rolled his eyes.

Richard gave him a look that basically told him to suck it up. “Maybe you guys can finally resolve whatever the hell is wrong with you two,” Chris suggested. “Yeah or you guys can fuck the tension out,” Richard laughed and walked away to the last room.

“Bueno ahí va mi paz,” Zabdiel mumbles to himself. He grabs his suitcase and walks pass Chris who’s in full laughter at his friend.

Zabdiel makes his way to the master bedroom and opens the door. Walking in and sitting his suitcase down. “This room is taken clearly, go find somewhere else,” you gave him a dirty look to which he give one back. “Well, we’re sharing a room because there are only three rooms. I already asked the boys to switch with me but nobody wants to.”

“Find, just stay on your side,” you muttered. Secretly, you were kind of happy to share a room with Zabdiel. “Gladly,” he continues to put his stuff up.

A few hours later you wake up from a nap and walked out to the living room. You seen all of the boys dressed and ready. “Get dressed nena we’re going exploring,” Joel have a smile knowing this is what you wanted to do. You let out a squeal and ran back to the room to get ready. Getting dressed in a black skirt, red crop top and black thigh high boots. You threw on a jacket and grabbed your wallet and phone.

“Damn ma, who are you dressing up for?” Richard whistles at you in a playful manner. I’m dressing for Zabdiel, Your brain wants to say. “Nobody, I dress for myself,” you smiled.

Exploring Paris with your best friends is fun. You guys ate at a restaurant that was pretty fancy and got to walk around the city. It was night time when the boys wanted to go back but you still wanted to see the Eiffel Tower. “Hey, Zabdiel stay with her. We’ll see you guys in a little bit,” Erick throws a wink. You quickly pulled Joel aside before they could walk off.

“Really? Joel stay with me,” you give your best pouting eyes. “No, you guys need to talk. You say you hate each other but it’s really just those repressed feelings,” he kissed your head and walked away. Deep down you knew he was right, how could you not like the tall blonde Puerto Rican?

You and Zabdiel walked in silence to the Eiffel Tower. It was an awkward silence and you were dying because of it. “I’m sorry you had to stay with him. I could’ve gone by myself,” you continued to look down at the ground. “And you get kidnapped? I’d never forgive myself for that,” your heart flutters at his reply. Making it in front of the tower that was beautiful and full of people.

“Here, give me your phone and I’ll take your pictures,” you hand Zabdiel your phone and he takes pictures of you in front of the tower.

“It’s so beautiful,” you smiled at the sight. “Yeah, but what I’m looking at is more beautiful,” you turn to look towards him and find him already looking at you. “Look, I’m not gonna pretend to hate you because in reality I don’t. I’m not gonna pretend like I don’t really wanna kiss you right now because I really do,” he pauses for a second not knowing what you were going to say.

“Hacerlo entonces,” you replied to him. He gently places a hand on your cheek and kisses you. The kiss isn’t rushed in anyway but it is pretty intense. His hand was around your waist and pushed you more into him so there wasn’t any space left in between.

“Seems like you don’t hate me either,” Zabdiel gives his signature smirk. “No, I only did to stop the feelings I have for you. Plus you were always on another girl,” you replied with a shrug. He leans down to ear saying, “I only did it to make you jealous nena,” he kissed your cheek and gripped your hand. You guys began your walk to the house hand and hand enjoying each other’s company.

The sun was shining through the window and was bright as ever. You woke up with Zabdiel arms around your waist in a tight embrace. Looking at the clock seeing it was 6:30 am and you couldn’t go back to sleep. So, you tried to get out of his arms only making him wrap them tighter.

“Zab let go, I wanna go to the balcony and read a book,” you tried to wiggle out of his embrace again. “No, I like you this close to me. What time is it anyway?” You replied with 6:30 and he sighed.

“Let’s go back to sleep. Also, stop rubbing on me like that or else,” his eyes were still closed but you could tell he was serious but you decided to test his patience anyway. You did it again and made him groan. He flipped the two of you over and he was on top of you.

“Really? You rub on my dick with these shorts on purpose and expect me not to do anything.” You looked at him and bit your lip. “Hmm I don’t know maybe,” giving him a smile. He shakes his head and pulls you into a kiss. This one being different then last night, it intense and rushed almost. Zabdiel showed you a lesson about following directions and maybe you were a bit loud in the process.

[collxpsedhexrt]

Matchup tingsss 🥺👉👈

just a warning i type this in a shit post format bc im too scared to talk about myself in a grammatically correct manner because i hate myself

huge note: my type is BIG w big ol shoulders and big and tall and did i mention big so yeah cuddles ok thanks bye i also updated a photo of me- bc i suck at describing my appearance

👀

👄

ok so anyways lets a gO

NOTE: i dont label my sexuality sorry idc who to swing for ion like swinging i like hugging thanks ok bye also im EXTREMELY mentally and emotionally unstable haha ok thanx 🥺😳💅

꧁𝙰𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎꧂

I am 163cm and 190lb (I am also very peculiar about knowing my exact measurements, height, and weight all the time?? Confusion???)

I am one pasty ass bitch despite being (excuse the lele pons moment) LaTiNa👁👄👁,,, I have very long warm black hair that is either wavy or borderline kinky curls no in between,,,, I have amber eyes and have FrEcKlEs everywhere but not like super intense,,, i could probably put a photo (and i will at the end-) bc idk how to describe my ugly ass morbidly obese bleached walrus headass face tbh??

Not to be an annoying basic bitch but i supposedly have an hourglass figure but im more plump so ig i have a more motherly appearance- idk tbh my body dysmorphia says i look like patrick star on my 600lb life so lets get poggers in the chat, tea?? tea sis?? who’d knock me tf up im ugly doe ahaha 👁👄👁

꧁𝙿𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢꧂

hngh i never stop apologizing- even if u knock me down multiple times ill keep going back to you and forgiving you, and thats on daddy issues

im an empath and like a lot of spiritual stuff like tarot and stuff,,, wont get too into it bc im inexperienced

GIFTED.CHILD.BURNOUT.

also bc i like gaming i can be “one of the bros” and tbh i LOVE being a semi-stereotypical jock-like gamer boy like “oHH YEASAH *crushes soda can on my head* GAMING TIME BOOOYYYYSSS” and i kinda forget im a girl sometimes bc i (gross warning) can like,,, burp wit da bois 😳👉👈,,,,

I am an INFJ-T (the T means im a shitshow!) and ion wanna get too much into my uh,,, issues w/ eating,,,, but basically lets say it causes a lot of dizziness on my end but like im still obese so its ok lol

also im like,,,,, the runt of the group like literally nobody likes me (at least thats what i tell myself aHEM-)

and also i have eXTREEEEEEEME trust issues like holy fuck nobody can catch a break

Oh shit wait i should say idk what i am in terms of sexuality literally nothing fits me ahaha but i am an afab female lady girl as far as i know bc im not currently in a safe place to explore these things, Jimbo!

also im so sorry for being messy im spacing things out so it can be an organized mess im so so sorry i love you anf thank you for taking your time to read this i love you and appreciate you!!

I am a libra sun, and a pisces moon and rising so that means im a crybaby bitch but to the third power (^3)

oh shit yeah im also a hufflepuff

basically i like to make everyone laugh and im not good with serious shit but when it comes down to it sometimes i can take on a maternal role when comforting friends but u will never get me to admit it..... wait-

꧁𝙷𝚘𝚋𝚋𝚒𝚎𝚜꧂

ART ART AND MORE ART OH MY GOD FUCK OH GOD OH FUCK SO MUCH ART- im specifically into the character design and i actually plan on going into game development in coolegg

👁👄👁👉👈

i havent sang seriously in like,,,, years tho bc my choir teacher kicked me out the choir bc my brother was having a life saving surgery the day of a performance anD I NEVER FORGOT IT KAREN. meaning ion let shit go like that bc im an insecure and emotionally broken biTCH

ok i love games- from little big planet, outlast 1/2, detroit become human, beyond two souls, TO OVERWATCH YES I LOVE YOU OVERWATCH, and aminal crossigng uwu

ok so anyways i mean yeah uh,,, i also like writing poetry sometimes and writing but im like yuri (ddlc) and cant help but be borderline pretentious with using over complicated words despite my shit grammar here lol

but yeah

i also live on a farm and i love taking care of my chickens duckies turkies andn pheasants mvmvmbm,,,, i lvoe themn,,,,fhfjdjd,,, OMG I USED TO HAVE GOATS AND GUINEA HENS BUT FUCKINGNG CORONA VIRUS MADE IT HARD TO CARE FOR THEM SO WE HAD TO SELL THEM AND HMMMMMMM ANGERY

but on another note i hav doggies and uwu!!! they v cute best dogeis ever 100/10 recommend these dogies,,,,

꧁𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚢 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜꧂

im a hermit and quarantine is just fun to me

I have a high pitched voice so my friends deemed me the god of anime voice thank u

But honestly i find my voice creepy, it’s as if my voice is ghostly and haunting. That’s in real life, but say we called on discord.... I’m loud and obnoxious but i always make people laugh, only when im on a call like that does my personality change so much.

im an amazing host tbh,,, “Hey- I have tea, coffee, coffee with foam, water, milk, juice, soda, and i could make you some food!” “Do you want some popcorn? Are you sure? Do you need a blanket? Would you like for me to turn on the humidifier?” I WILL SPOIL PPL ROTTEN WITH LOVE AFFECTION FOOD AND DRINKS GALORE

“hhnngh,,, maybe if im good enough of a host it will fill the void,,,”

oh also i have a weird accent bc im puerto rican

👁👄👁✨

UPDATE: ADDED LIKES/DISLIKES!!! and love tings

꧁𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎꧂

my love language is physical touch mainly but i can channel it through making food n stuffs uwu

I rarely if ever fall in love. but when i do, i crash hard. I become putty in the person’s hands, willing to take (metaphorical) beating after beating and insults and cruelty just for their love to be reciprocated. I become totally helpless and obsessive, memorizing their schedule and things they like. Treasuring every memory of when we can be physically close to one another, platonically or not... I become my “best self” and my performance rate drastically increases, but my mental state drastically decreases. I become horribly depressed and anxious, always making meticulously calculated movements and always showing that im willing to support them with everything.

I particularly have a thing for tall guys with big shoulders.

꧁𝙻𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜/𝙳𝚒𝚜𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜꧂

OK THIS IS UNDERRATED BUT I LOOOVE PEWDIEPIE PLEASE DONT HATE ME I JUST LOVE HIS HUMOR ANDN,,,,, 🥺👉👈

god i just- idk i have mixed feelings abt amberlynn reid bc obviously shes super hurt n stuff but shes done so much crap i just HNNGNHH,,,, ANGERY,,, but i show support sometimes but i aint ever giving her my money by subscribing

I also like (cue the angry mob) fnaf-

homestuck and harry potter r also LIFE

i dont like when ppl are egotistical unless theyre charming,,,, bc if theyre charming i 100% feed their ego.

i HATE when people do self destructive things (IM A FUCKING HYPOCRITE) like “NO- nO dont fRICKIN do that- BAD. here, let me make you some food...”

anyways heres that promised picture if this ugly mug