#anyways i think the answer is very much both for all of the above

[pit-and-the-pen]

I'll Crawl Home to Her- Chapter 1

A/ N:I’m horrible at exposition so bare with me through this one. It feels a little clunky to me but this sets up a lot for the rest of the series. This is also the longest thing I’ve written outside of my senior thesis so… I have this series fully planned out and now that I’m back from vacation I should be able to work on it a lot more. 

Anyways, let me know if you want to be added to the taglist for it! 

Warnings: Spring court slander (implied trauma), nightmares. Drinking. I think that’s all but feel free to let me know if I should add anything! 

Wc- ~10k

Previous part: here

We’re coming home. 

I ran up to my brother. Desperately pulling on Rhys’ arm and I felt him stumble back into me. He remained frozen, eyes locked on the female in front of him. Her and Rhys were clearly in the middle of a very intense conversation. But I wanted to go home. When I shouted Rhys’ name, his head flickered to me before looking back at Feyre. I saw his body tense, eyes going wide and it was instinct that had me grabbing his arm and winnowing us to Velaris.

The smell instantly calms me in a way I haven't felt in fifty years. Once my vision had fully focused, 

“She’s my mate”, nothing above a whisper. My head snapped over to him. Mate. That explained his reaction. I felt the guilt in my stomach at pulling him away from Feyre. My arms are already reaching to pull Rhys towards me into a hug. As my arms wrapped around him, he sobbed into my shoulder.

This wasn’t the Rhys I had come to know under the mountain. Sob after sob left his mouth and his precious wings dropped to the ground. I knew this was more than the reaction of a male who had his mate taken from him. This was my brother who had to watch his mate be in love with someone else after years of suffering. The cauldron had finally granted him a mate only to have her ripped away from him.

“I’m sorry” was all I could think to say. So many reasons for being sorry. Sorry for all he went through. Sorry for not being strong enough to stop it. Sorry that the female the mother had chosen for him was in love with the High Lord of Spring, and had willingly died for him. Sorry that I stole away what little time he had spent with her. 

Rhys let out another sob against my shoulder and it shook me to my core. I have heard him cry over Amarantha many times but seeing him break over Feyre was enough for me to want to march to spring and drag her to Velaris. But she wouldn’t want that. I know Rhys would have my head on a spike if I even offered. 

We both turned around at the sound of the door opening. Mor stood in silence, eyes scanning over us. Noticing our embrace. She stepped up to us and a soft smile crossed her face. 

“Tell me about your mate, Rhys.”

That was all it took for the flood gates to open. We did more than recall the details about the last few months. Rhys and I cherry picking only the most vital and important details. We kept a few things close to our chests. Those would stay our nightmares alone, Mor didn’t need to be haunted with our ghosts as well. 

Mor sat patiently before she finally interrupted. “She’s really dead?” Rhy freezed at the mention of Amarantha. I lightly placed a hand on his shoulder and answered for him. “Yes. But I don’t think this is over.” Mor just nodded sharply, looking at I both before she launched herself at both of I, arms coming up to wrap around my brother and myself. 

“If either of you ever do something that stupid again, I’ll kill you myself.” Her voice didn’t hold any malice, instead it shook with tears. My heart jumped as I left the weight of her emotions wash over me. The pain in my chest tightened as I realized how much our absence has truly shaken our family. I knew, of course, but seeing it was entirely different. 

The three of us began to settle and I finally had time to get my bearings in the house. As I let the glow of the house wrap around I. A familiar scent caught my attention, and my whole body sang. My head whipped around, looking for the source of that pine and night air, looking for Azriel.  Cas too of course but Azriel was on the front of my mind.  

Mor’s smile tilted slightly. “They should be back soon.” She sighed “They just went to the camps to check on all of them” She paused, stumbling over words  “ when we got that message from you, someone thought the most important thing was letting the camp leaders know that they had a high lord to answer to again.” This didn’t surprise me at all. Of course they would want, need, to fill in the Illyrian warriors that were now back under Rhys command with his return, Cassian having to take over that helm by nature of his position. It would be a fight, but one for a different day. 

         I wanted nothing more than to see the rest of my family and responsibilities be damned. I wanted to see them now. It had already been almost 50 years and in theory another day wouldn’t hurt but the house felt empty without the loudness of Cassian’s voice booming. It felt cold without Azriel’s shadows stirring around. 

As if Mor could sense my unease, she lightly grabbed my wrist and started pulling me deeper into the house. “I have so many books I need to show you.” That was all it took for me to laugh. Mind reeling as I tried to remember the last time I had truly laughed. 

The library was just as I had remembered it. The smell of old parchment and leather filled the space. Fires kept the room warm and light and I wanted that feeling to sink down into my bones. 

Mor gave me the space to just absorb my favorite room in the house. Rhys had given me full reign over how it was decorated. Comfy chairs that could accommodate wings and backless chairs tufted with fabric that looked like they were made of stardust were spread over the large room. The heavy wooden desk I had put in was covered in stacks of books. 

“I put all the ones I knew you would like over there.” Mor spoke up when she saw my eyes lock on the countless books. I felt my throat tighten up with tears at the thought she must have put behind the seemingly small action. It wasn’t uncommon for Mor and I to swap books as we finished them. Mostly so we could sit and talk about them for hours together. Mor and I spent many nights on the couches I had put in, falling asleep with our respective books still clutched in our hands. 

Looking at the stacks, a rough count told me there had to be over a hundred books, easily. 

“Looks like I have some serious reading to do.” I laughed. She beamed a smile at me. 

“Those are just the ones I knew you would like,” She walked over to one of the bookcases in front of the desk. “These are all the others that I need you to read so I can scream about them.”

Three whole shelves in total. It would take me gods know how long to get through them. I voiced that much. Mor waved me off. 

“You have all the time in the world to read them. It doesn’t have to happen all at once, but I’m not letting anything happen to you again. You’ll have time to read them all.” Her voice was uncharacteristically soft. I turned to look at her and I saw the pink speckling her cheeks and right above her lips, the tell-tale signs that she was trying not to cry. I placed the book I had just picked up and threw my arms around her, squeezing her as tight as I possibly could. She nuzzled her head against my shoulder and all I could do was try to hold her tighter. 

By the time we pulled away from the hug, we were both a crying, giggling mess. I forgot how much I loved spending time with Mor. Regardless of how much I cared for my brothers, Mor and I were two sides of the same coin. Plus the boys wouldn’t sit and discuss the pure filth that tended to grace the pages of the books I devoured. 

“So, what one should I start with?” 

She all but squealed as she started flipping through the piles with me. We organized as we went. Placing them in piles of order that I should read them in. A few of the series I had been following had new installments that would most likely require a reread so those got placed on the back burner for the, now older, favorites she was dying to talk about. From there we were able to pick out one of her more recent favorites that had me itching to crack open immediately. She picked out one from her own pile across the room and the both of us settled into silence, the only sound was the fireplace cracking and pages turning. 

I don’t know how late it was when Rhys softly opened the door to sneak into the room. My eyes were starting to get dry from how little I was blinking, desperate to get through one more chapter before I called it a night. Something I had voiced to Mor about ten chapters ago. Mor who now was asleep on her own couch, her hair pooling over the edge almost touching the floor from the uncomfortable angel her head had fallen into. 

“The books will still be here after you’ve gotten some sleep,” Rhys said in a gentle mocking tone. Mor stirred slightly at his voice but remained sleeping. “Come on, I’d be an awful High Lord, and an even worse brother, if I let you fall asleep in the library on your first night home.” I nodded at his words. Truthfully, I couldn’t care less where I slept but for some reason, I could tell it mattered to Rhys. It would honestly be more normal for me to fall asleep anywhere but my room. Whether it be in the library or the large sectional in the living room or the comfy chairs on the rooftop, I rarely ever slept in my own bed. Rhys had ensured that every surface of the house was as comfortable as possible to account for this but I didn’t push or argue with him as I untucked my legs from underneath me and stood up. I debated leaving Mor to sleep but didn’t want her to wake up all alone. Reaching out a hand, I placed it on her shoulder and gave her a small shake. She groaned but opened her eyes anyway. 

“We’re being banished to our rooms.” I joked and pointed over the Rhys. She let out an even louder groan. 

“Overprotective bat.” Even Rhys laughed at her words. 

“Come on, before he carries us himself.” I held out a hand and I could see Mor contemplating just rolling back over and going back to sleep but she grabbed my hand. Pulling slightly, I helped her to her feet and she rolled her neck slowly. No doubt trying to work out whatever kink was starting to develop due to half of her head hanging off the thin couch. The three of us walked down the hallway to our rooms. Sleepily stumbling to doors. We reached Mor’s first and before she slipped in, she gave me another tiny hug and another to Rhys. 

“I love you guys,” Sleep was evident in the way she almost drunkenly stumbled over her words. I returned the sentiment and she was slipping into her bedroom, the door clicking shut behind her. 

Rhys and I stood outside her bedroom for a little longer, until we saw the light from under the door flicker out. Eventually, we continued walking until we got to my door. There was a slight pause as I turned the handle. Rhys and I would normally be curled up in my bed under the mountain by now. I vaguely thought about asking him to stay the night. Not that I think either of us were truly going to be able to sleep. As tired as I felt, I was afraid that if I closed my eyes for too long I was going to wake up and this was all going  to be a cruel dream.    

Rhys seemed to pick up on my hesitancy. “I can walk in with you. If you’re…”:

“Please.” I interrupted him. He gave me a soft smile and gestured for me to open the door. 

Nothing was out of place. The room smelt like my favorite perfume and when I looked around, there was no dust to be found. Someone had spent the time still cleaning the room while I was gone. I don’t know why that touched me as much as it did but as I looked around I felt all the unshed tears finally starting to take its toll. A sob ripped its way from my chest and Rhys’ arms were around me in an instant. 

He shushed me softly, rocking me slightly. “We made it. We’re free. We’re back home.” He repeated over and over until I had cried myself out. I pulled out of his embrace and wiped away the stray tears. Shaking my head at my outburst I muttered a thank you to my brother. 

“Try to get some sleep. I’ll be just across the hall if you need anything,” He says, placing a hand on my shoulder. I nodded and he gave me a sad smile as he walked out of the room. 

I wandered over to my dresser, fished around until I pulled out the first pair of pajamas I came across. I hastily pulled my clothes off and as I went to pull the nightgown over my head, I realized the layer of grim that was clinging to my skin. A bath was definitely needed before I climbed into my warm bed.        

The tub was already full and scalding hot by the time I had finished pouring in an obscene amount of oils and bath salts. Sinking in, I sighed out in relief as the heat enveloped me. Muscles in my neck and back released as I leaned my head against the edge of the tub. I picked up the sponge on the edge and started to wash myself off. After countless minutes of scrubbing, despite my raw skin I still didn’t feel clean. Huffing, I threw the sponge across the bathroom and pulled my knees up to my chest. I just sat curled up around myself until the water started to cool down. And it was still another handful of minutes before I could manage to pull myself upright and step out of the bath. I shivered at the temperature difference. Hugging my towel closer to my body, I quickly ran bacon into my room and threw the nightgown over my head. I burrowed underneath my comforter and tried to close my eyes. 

I tossed and turned until I started pleading with the mother, the cauldron, anyone that would listen to let me go to sleep. I was bone tired but everytime I closed my eyes something made me snap them open a few moments later. Every creek of the house had my ears prickling. Has the house always been this loud? I wondered how I never noticed it before. How I ever slept with all the noise. It was then I remembered that, if my room truly haven't been messed with since I had left, that I still had a sleeping tonic from when I had cracked a few ribs. Fae healing or not, ribs always were a pain to heal. Majda had given me a tonic to make me sleep so I could actually heal without Cassian making me laugh them out of place. I flung myself out of bed and padded over to my vanity. The small bottle of purple liquid still sat , half drank/ Uncorking it, I prayed that sleeping potions didn’t go bad and took a tentative sip. Fighting back a gag at the foul taste, I put the cork back on the top and walked back to my bed. The medicine had its desired effect. Not a minute later I felt my eyelids flutter close and  this time they stayed closed until I could sense the sun high in the air signaling the next day had come. 

Knocking on my door made me finally crawl out of bed. Goraning at having to leave the warmth, I flung open the door and was staring a slightly startled Rhys in the face. He held a small tray in front of him, stacked high with various foods. 

“I didn’t want to wake you up. You slept through breakfast and lunch and I  didn’t know what you would want so I brought a little of everything.” He spoke the words so fast that in my half awake state I struggled to keep up with them. I gestured for him to come in so he could place the tray on my bed. 

“Have you eaten?” I raised an eyebrow at him as I picked up a large strawberry.. His look told me that he had, in fact, not eaten. I pointed to my bed. “Sit and eat.” I barked, mouth full of strawberries. He laughed at some silent joke and picked up a piece of toast covered in some fruit jam. We were quiet as we ate, picking apart the platter he had brought in. Truly too much for one person to eat. Once we were both full, I wiped off my hands on my comforter and finished swallowing my last bite before I asked Rhys. “What do you have on the agenda for today?” He stilled and picked at a piece of lint on his sweater. 

“Not a lot. I’m trying to organize a meeting with the High Lords of the other courts to just debrief after everything.” He shrugged like that wasn’t going to be the hardest meeting to organize. “There are some young high lords and with all the aftermath of this…We just need to all talk this out.” I nodded along with him. The courts would need some time to bounce back after this but from the way things had seemed under the mountain, we didn’t have that time. As much as I prayed to be wrong about this, war was on the horizon and we would need to have the courts functioning as much as possible if we were going to stand a chance against Hyberns forces. Amarantha was just a taste of the power that he had, an experiment of sorts. 

Mor knocked on the open door before she walked in and plopped down next to Rhys. She took note of our stern faces but didn’t say anything. Instead, she swiped one of the sandwiches off of the tray and shoved half of it in her mouth in one bite. “You, me, library.” Was all she said before she turned on her heel and walked out of the room. 

“Well I know what you’re doing for the rest of the day.” Rhys laughed as I started to scramble to get dressed. I was about to start changing when I noticed he hadn't moved from his perch on my bed. “Get out!” I scratched at him and all but pushed him out of the door, slamming it shut behind him. His laugh echoed off the empty halls outside my door. 

In record time, I was running down the halls to the library. Mor was already sitting, her book curled against her chest. She didn’t look up from  her book as she pointed to the one I had abandoned last night. “Butt in chair, book in hand.” She said and I laughed at her tone. I walked over to my couch and picked up the book,  the spine slightly cracked from laying face down most of the day. 

I must have finally gotten to the juicy part of the book because I felt Mor Peering over the edge of her own book. My poker face was completely gone as I sunk in every word. “No. Absolutely not!” I screamed, rereading the last few pages to make sure I was seeing it correctly. 

“Did you finally get to..” I held up my hand to shush her. She laughed and threw one of the throw pillows at my head. I only put my book down long enough to catch the pillow, using it to now prop up my arms. Once I had confirmed I had not actually gone crazy, Mor and I started discussing the plot twist that had been the source of my outburst. She accidentally let a detail slip that had me scrambling back for the book, desperate to catch up to the point she had been talking about. This went on for hours until I saw her perk up. She turned to face me.

.

“They’re back.” Was all Mor said, still flipping through the book perched on her knees. I didn’t say anything else before I put my own book to the side and all but ran from the room. Her laugh bouncing off the walls behind me. 

I could smell him before I saw him. That deep cedar and cold rain smell that I could wrap myself in. Rhys tried to say something to him but stopped when he realized he no longer held his audience's full attention. Azriel’s shadows ripping across the room and curling around my feet like a small cat. I could have purred at the feeling, tears started to peek along the corners of my eyes at the familiar feeling. 

When I felt movement next to me, I felt momentary disappointment at the fact that Azriel was not standing in front of me. Strong arms wrapped around my middle and started to swing me in a circle, I felt joy so strong it almost hurt. Cassian sat me back down on my feet and when he went to speak, I wrapped my arms around him in return. We stood embracing each other, slowly rocking from foot to foot. 

“Missed you, Princess.” He muttered into my head. I just nodded, my cheek too squished against his chest to say anything. “I think Mor was going to kill us if she had to be the only girl living in the house. Amren can only handle so much damage control and the coward spent most nights at her apartment.” He nudged my shoulder as he spoke, pulling a laugh from me. It felt good to laugh again. My cheeks hurt in the perfect way at the smile that stretched over my face. 

A throat being cleared from across the room pulled my attention from Cassian. I could have melted into a puddle right then and there. Azriel stood in front of me, a true smile gracing his face. I squealed and rushed over into his arms. He didn’t swing me around like Cassian did, but he held me just as tight. It would have felt so right to crash my lips against his and he released me from his arms, but that wasn’t my relationship with Azriel. Those thoughts were nothing more than what I needed to make it through the events of the last fifty years. Azriel looked at me like I was a sister, nothing more. Rhys’ little sister on top of that. His high lord's little sister. He was the one who had coined my nickname centuries ago. When the trio first formed their own little band of brothers. I had gotten pulled in by proximity, Azriel said it one day and it had stuck ever since. “Hi Princess.” He said, tone polite but I could hear the joy behind them. I tried not to blush as I heard his voice. Shaking the things I had imagined that voice saying to me out of my head out, I mustered up a pathetic, “Hi, Az.” 

It had never felt this awkward around him. Cursing myself mentally for thinking of all the things I would say to him when I finally saw him again. None of those words made their way out of me as the two of us stared at each other. “I’m glad you’re home.” Was all he said his words short but I felt the sincerity leaking from them. Biting down the flutter in my heart,  I gave a short nod and wrapped my arms around myself. His eyes tracked the movement but didn’t say anything. 

Cass clapped a hand on his brother's shoulder, breaking the tension that I felt take over the room. “We’ll see you at training tomorrow,” I raised an eyebrow to him. “Don’t give me that look, I’m guessing you didn’t have time to… while you were gone. I can’t have my sister not able to defend herself. We would be the laughing stock of Pyrthian.” He smiled as I made a big show of rolling my eyes . 

So I joined them for training the next morning. And the next. Cassian slowly ran through the basics until I was nothing more than a mile of sore bones and sweat by the end of our sessions. I would shower and hang out with Mor. Rhys was suddenly very busy as he tried to catch up on all the events he missed in his court over the last fifty years. He made more and more trips to Hewn City, leaving Mor free to run around with me. Before I knew it a month had passed and all of us were sitting around the table for one of our family dinners. 

Jokes were flung around the table and no one noticed  the way Rhys and I sat back, sinking it all in. More than once I caught his eyes from across the table and all we could do was smile at each other. Is it bad to say that I missed this? I spoke into his head as Mor and Cassian had started raising their voices at each other, getting into a slight argument over some random events of the day. I did too. Even when we both flinched at the volume Cassian’s voice had risen too. Even Azriel had started to chime in before Mor shot him down with a withering look. I laughed despite myself at his expression. I shut up when that look was turned to me. 

The conversation fell into a natural lull and everyone was happily eating. Rhys hissed at something, shaking his arm that bore the bargain mark. Something must have prickled down the weird connection. 

“I still can’t believe you let her go with Tamlin.” Cassian said, stabbing something on his plate with a little more force than necessary. Rhys bared his teeth at his brother. 

“I didn't have much of a choice, now did I?” He slumped back into his chair, still rubbing his hand. “She already hated me because of this stupid bargain but if I had stolen away from the male she was willing to die for…”

“But Rhys. It’s Tamlin. No one would have slighted you, not after…” Cassian’s gaze flickered to me. As hard as I was trying to tune out the conversation, I still felt my chest tighten at their words. Rhys would have never taken Feyre without her permission, well at least outside of the bargain but we both knew that was simply a means to an end. Regardless of how much it must hurt to have another person he cared about over in spring, Rhys wouldn’t take that choice away from her, no matter how concerned he might be for  her safety. 

“How  was it seeing the brute again?” Amren asked and the table silenced. I froze and kept my gaze locked down at my plate. Suddenly losing my appetite completely.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I itched at my wrist, tugging at the fabric that felt too tight around my wrist. Azriel placed a comforting hand over mine. I flashed him a thankful smile.

“You haven’t wanted to talk about it for over a century.” She prodded. 

“And she shouldn’t have to if she doesn’t want to,” She took a breath like she was about to press the issue. “Why does it matter to you anyways?” Azriel hissed at her. Amren had the decency to take a hint and held up her hands in surrender, a smirk plastered on her face. 

We all sat in silence for the rest of dinner. Even Cassian knew better than to make any comments due to the tension in the air. Everytime he would go to say something, Rhys would shoot daggers at him. Eventually I got sick of it and threw my napkin down. 

“Fine. You want to know what it felt like?” I shouted at Amren. Everyone flinched. “I am terrified for that girl. Because I know what loving Tamlin does to someone. Seeing him felt just like you whenever someone mentions the prison.” She paled at my words and I didn’t spare her another look as I pushed away from the table, storming out. I know I would regret my words later but sometimes Amren needed a taste of her own medicine. She just loved to push everyone buttons because we were all too scared to really piss her off. 

I flung myself into my bed, still fully dressed. I groaned into my pillow. Apologies could wait until tomorrow. A knock from the door had me fighting back swears. Stomping over to the door, I ripped it open and a very startled Rhys was standing in the hallway, hand raised like he was about to knock again. 

“I wanted to check on you.” The high lord said.

“I’m fine” I gritted out and he raised an eyebrow at me. I let out a heavy sigh. 

“I know I shouldn’t have taken the bait but I don’t want to talk about him, right now or ever, if I can avoid it.” Rhys’ eyes held sympathy and he just contuined standing in the hallway, letting me rant. “I mean it’s been so long. I didn’t want to talk about it then. No one’s asking how you feel about Tamlin.” I paused and Rhys just shrugged. 

“If she’s happy with him, then it’s not my place to try to save her. If she wants to come here, then I’ll happily let her do that too.” 

I stared at him like he had gone crazy. “What about the bargain?” He shrugged again

“It was necessary at the time. I don’t actually plan on cashing in on it. She’d only hate me. More.” I could feel his despair. The self loathing held behind those words. 

“Rhys.” He shook his head.

“I’ll never take away her choice in this. Just because she’s my mate doesn’t mean I have a claim to her. Regardless of every nerve in my body screaming otherwise. It’s her life. She’s given more than enough to deserve whatever, whoever, makes her happy.” I went to hug him and he stepped out of my reach. “As much as I appreciate it, I don’t need your sympathy for making the right decision.” He tried to play it off as a joke but I knew he truly meant it. 

“Well if you ever want to talk about it…”

“Like how you want to talk about Tamlin.” He cut me off. My mouth set into a thin line and I took that as a dismissal of the conversation. Fine. I just wanted to crawl into bed anyway. 

“Well now that we’ve established that. Anything else you want to say, oh mighty High Lord.” 

“No.” 

“Good. Good night.” I said and swiftly shut the door in his face. I love my brother but he really knows how to get under my skin sometimes. I know deep down I’m mad because he called me out. I can’t expect him to pour his heart out to me when I won’t do the same thing. 

I threw the covered back and crawled in, still fully dressed. Mind reeling. I wouldn’t even know where to start with talking to anyone about Tamlin. And what good would it do? All of that was in the past and talking about it would only piss everyone off all over again. We had just barely avoided attacking the spring court when I came home. I don’t want to drag Feyre into this now that she’s there. 

I managed to finally fall asleep, tossing and turning. Dreams filled with deep swirling greens and the sound of growls. 

When I woke up in the morning I could tell it was later than normal. The sun is slightly higher in the air. Snapping out of my sleepy haze I cursed as I jumped out of bed. I was late for training and Cassian wasn’t going to let me forget that. 

Throwing on my clothes, mentally screaming at all the buckles on my training leathers. I knew not eating was going to come back to bite me in the ass but I simply didn’t have time as I sprinted through the house. In my haste, I passed a grinning Rhys. The events from last night seemingly forgiven as he taunted me. 

“Maybe he’ll consider this your warm up today.” I held up a crude gesture and he only laughed harder.  

I made it to the training rink in record time. My hands were on my knees as I panted. The stitch in my side was already screaming at me but I forced myself to stand up straight as Cassian sauntered over to me. The split in his lip told me Him and Azriel had gotten started without me. 

“You’re late, princess.” I flinched at his tone. He surveyed me. “I think double drills should be enough to make sure that doesn’t happen again. I cursed, I couldn’t get through the routine once without limping back to the house. Two would kill me and he knew it. 

“What are you waiting for? An invitation?” He held out his hand “Consider this it.” He stepped away from me, going back over to Azriel. I know Cassian wasn’t actually mad at me. He also knew that if he went easy on me, I wouldn’t take training seriously. I appreciated the routine of it all and I really did need it. So sighing I got started. 

I was halfway through my second set when Cas called me over. 

“Lesson learned?” He simply asked. I nodded. Still trying to take in breath. My muscles are screaming at me for still being vertical. 

“Good because Cas and I decided it’s finally time to step this up a notch. You’re almost the same as you were before. Now it’s time to get your powers involved. Relearn how to fight with those.” Azriel spoke. My stomach sank. This was something I hadn't considered. It was a stupid oversight on my part and I didn’t know how to get myself out of this so I responded with the truth. 

“I don’t have my powers.” 

“Okay, nice joke” Cassian cut in.

“I’m not joking. I can’t use them anymore.”

“What do you mean you can’t?” 

“I can’t use my powers” I grumble. “They’re still in there but it’s like I’m fighting against a wall.” Azriel raised an eyebrow at that revelation. 

“How do you know?” 

“I don’t know but all I know is I tried to use them… you know… And they wouldn’t come. Everyone had theirs back so I know it wasn’t the curse. So for whatever reason I couldn’t make them work.” It was embarrassing to admit. My powers had been the only truly useful thing I could rely on in the training ring. 

“Have you tried since then?” I nodded. Not so much of a glimmer of them since I came home. I told Cassian that much and he swore under his breath. 

“We could always take you to see Helion.” I shook my head at his words. 

“I don’t want to burden him with more problems. He has enough to do in his own court. I’ll figure it out, but for now I’ll just have to fight the old fashioned way.” 

Neither of the males in front of me seemed to be happy with my response but Cassian jumped right back in.

“Fine. But that means that you have a lot more training to do. If you had your powers you would be fine. But in just plain hand to hand combat, you’d get your ass kicked by anyone with any skill.” 

I glared at him but I knew he was telling the truth. Grabbing his arm, I pulled him into the center of the ring and tossed him one of the training swords. Heavy but they wouldn’t do nearly as much damage when he hit me. 

“Do your worst then.” Was all I said before he charged at me. 

“You’re sloppy.” Cassian barked as he knocked the sword out of hand again, again. I held my wrist as it twisted at a weird angel. My cheeks heated with anger and I went to wipe the sweat that had formed on my brow with my other, only to find it just as damp. I recoiled in disgust and Cassian laughed again. 

“You try getting your shit kicked in for fifty years and see how you bounce back.” I spoke and I saw his face pale. Shit. “Joking Cas, it’s okay.” 

I shook my head. “I am sloppy. And that’s why I’m still training with your annoying ass. You’ll have me back in tip top shape.” He relaxed slightly, but his shoulders still wouldn’t lower. 

I sighed and did the only thing I could think of as he turned away from me. I jumped onto his back, being mindful of his wings and pulled him down to the ground. The air left his lungs in a whoosh as I took us both onto our sides, I quickly bounded to my feet, ignoring the sting in my side from the impact. 

“Come on you big Illyrian baby.” I raised my arms slightly in front of me and a flicker of something crossed Cassian's face and I saw him make the decision to play along. To pretend that this was just a normal day of training. He leapt to his feet with a surprising amount of grace. 

“If you want a fight, you got it princess” He said with a smirk. We both stood in the middle of the training ring, circling each other, waiting  for the other to make the first move. Swords forgotten off to the side. I saw the slight twitch of his left side and I made the choice to ignore the fake out, and went to block my right side. It was the right choice, the blow aimed toward my right side bounded off my forearm, it still stung but at least it didn’t put me on my ass like it would have had it made contact. I grabbed his wrist and twisted his arm back, pulling him closer towards me and pushing on his back. He only stumbled for a second before he regained his footing. That kick had put me off balance more than I anticipated and it was easy for Cassian to grab the leg that lowered too slowly, grabbing my ankle and yanking me to my stomach. I yelped at the contact. He laughed loudly as I held my hand up in surrender. I rolled over onto my back with a groan. 

“Give me a few days back in training and I’ll have you on your ass, General.” He laughed even harder.

“In case you forgot, princess, you could barely do that even on your best days. Give yourself more time.” 

“A week.” I responded with my own laugh. Whatever I had done, it worked. Cassian’s shoulders had fully relaxed and I noticed the smile gracing his face finally reached his eyes. I noticed Azriel starting a few feet away. I sat back on my elbows, propping myself up. “Want a round, Az?” I teased and was rewarded by him rolling those big hazel eyes. 

“I think you’ve hurt yourself enough for today.” Was all he said before he turned to stalk away  from the ring. I laid back down in the dirt of the ring at his retreating figure, sighing heavily. Cas comes to stand over me, offering me a hand up. I grab it, pulling myself up. 

“Give him some more time to come around. This was harder for him than the rest of us.” He was suddenly serious. “He’ll get there, but you know him. Broody as they come.” He nudged me with his wing and I couldn’t help but chuckle at the gesture. I nodded in understanding and the pair of us walked back up to the house. 

This was harder for him than the rest of us. The words bounced around my head for the rest of the day. It makes sense. Azriel would have seen this as him failing. Not only failing me but his High Lord. Regardless of how hard everyone must have tried to comfort him, he would always blame himself, and only himself, for Rhys and I going under the mountain.  

It also explained why Azriel seemed to be avoiding me. Besides that first awkward meeting, he always managed to find an excuse to not be in the same room as me if he could avoid it. I’ve been home for almost a month now and I had hardly seen him. The few times I ran into him in the hall, he would quickly and politely brush me. Not saying anymore than a few words in greeting or response to a question I might have asked him. Be patient. I could do that. But it was hard to ignore the sting in my chest every time he brushed me off. We were practically joined at the hip before I left. I fit seamlessly into the fold of the trio but now Azriel felt like a stranger again. 

My mind was too full of thoughts to begin to try to settle down, so after I bathed the dirt and sweat off, I changed into a loose nightgown that almost went to the ground and padded off for the library. When I got to the door, it was slightly cracked, light from the fireplace filling even the hallway with its warmth. It was like the room itself was calling to me and as I stepped in. Above the crackle of the fire, I made out the sound of pages turning, of fabric rustling as someone shifted on one of the couches in the room. I searched for the source of the sound and found none other than Azriel lounging with a book propped open on his lap. He didn’t seem to notice me until one of his shadows snuck off his lap and slithered over to my feet, wrapping around them like they always did. 

He closed his book and glanced over to where I stood in the doorway. Something flashed across his eyes that I couldn’t decipher before it faded away. He cleared his throat and said a generic greeting. My heart sank as I saw him mark the page he was on in his book, and place it on the end table to his right. I tried not to pout as I said. “Don’t leave on my account.” I said, keeping my tone light to hide the oily feeling pooling in my stomach. The shadow at my feet seemed to curl in tighter to me as Azriel went to stand. 

“I was just finishing up anyways.” He couldn’t seem to meet my eyes. “The rooms all yours.” 

“Azriel…” I don’t know what I was going to stay. Maybe beg him to stay with me, maybe start shouting at him but I know none of that would help, would only make both of us feel worse. Be patient with him. So I bit back all the words I wanted to say to him and simply said. “Good night.” He called to me as he headed out of the room, his shoulder just barely brushing mine as he passed by me. The room suddenly felt too cold so I willed the house to put the fire out and walked out, heading back to my own room suddenly feeling very tired. 

I crawled under my covers and tried to push the thought of Azriel’s eyes out of my mind as I drifted off into a fitful sleep. 

 I sensed it. I was back under the mountain. Nonono. This can’t be happening but I saw it all out in front of me. Rhys was in front of me, standing on the dais with Amarantha standing next to him. I almost broke down, knees buckling, when I saw that all-too-familiar mask of indifference grace my brother's face. I tried to call out but my voice wouldn’t come out, feet locked in place as I stood and helplessly watched as the red haired female reached a finger under Rhys chin. Bile raised in my throat as I saw her whisper something to him, something I couldn’t make out. When I tried to reach out for his mind, I was met with nothing more than those iron thick walls he built up. Amarantha’s eyes locked on mine and it was like she set me on fire. My skin burned, the string of her breaking my bones, of the attors smacking me down everytime I said something out of place. Finally I seemed to find my voice, but only a scream ripped from my throat at the phantom pain. Her red lips curled into a cold smile. “Welcome back pet.” another scream made its way from my throat. 

I flung myself into a sitting position, jolting awake from the nightmare. My lungs ached as I gulped down air. My skin still burned and I threw off my blanket, pulling my knees to my chest. I almost screamed again as I realized the presence of something, someone, in my room. 

Azriel’s soft voice said my name. “I heard you scream, I thought…” My eyes finally adjusted and I could make out his frame. “I’m sorry. I'll go.” 

“No.” I rasped, throat raw. I must have actually been screaming. That explains his presence in my room, kind of. My hand went up to my neck attempting to rub away the pain in my chest. The pain didn't stop the request that bubbled over my lips. “Please. Stay.” I saw him go still, turning back around to me. Even in the dark, I was able to find his eyes, wide open as they locked on mine. Tears welled up in my eyes and I tried not to sniffle. 

He whispered my name again. “Just go back to sleep.” He was starting to turn around again. My body reacted faster than my mind, I reached over the large bed, reached for his arm. “Please.” It was all I could get out. Please stay. Please talk to me. Please can we pretend that all of this didn’t happen and please be my best friend again. So many things tied into that one word. It’s almost like he sensed it and he sighed, relaxing into my touch. 

“Only until you fall back asleep.” He sounded exhausted and his tone made me feel heavy all over again. He still shuffled in behind me. I tried not to think about the fact that when I went to tuck myself into his chest that I was met with bare skin. Resisted the urge to trail my hand down along those perfect abs, to the deep vee that I knew laid beneath them. I just buried myself deeper into his side and I felt his wings wrap around me, shielding me from the world around us as I drifted back to sleep. The smell of cedar lulling me into a dreamless sleep. 

I woke up feeling more rested than I had since I’ve been back home. I knew he wouldn’t still be here but my hand still reached out to the side of the bed he’d been in, still warm. He had stayed. That explains why I slept so well. His scent lingered in the room and not caring how desperate it might have seemed, I buried my face into the pillow he had been laying on. I let his scent surround me and calm me down. A knock on the door had me groaning but sitting up anyways. 

‘You didn’t come to breakfast so I wanted to check on you…” More said as she opened the door, she looked around as she spoke and her face fell slightly before continuing. “I had Nuala make you a tray in case you were hungry when you woke up.” She held a small wooden tray in her hand and I beamed at her, touched by the small gesture from my cousin. 

“Thank you.” Was all I could get out, tears threatening to fall at the kindness in her action. 

“I heard you last night.” She spoke quietly as she walked to the edge of my bed, sitting down at my feet. “I know I wasn’t there, but if you ever need to talk, or just someone to listen to. I’ll always be here.”

“You don’t need that stuff in your head too. It’s bad enough it's mine.” 

She said my name in a concerned tone and I waved her off. “Don’t we have some books you need me to finish?” I said, deflect. She sighed sensing she wouldn’t win this one.

“Maybe we should take a break from the library today.” My face dropped as I thought of what I could possibly do with my day if it wasn’t reading with Mor. “I need to go shopping for some stuff, start looking around for Solstice presents and I haven't had a proper shopping buddy…” She trailed off, giving me a full megawatt smile. 

“Alright let's go, before you start batting your eyelashes at me.” I playfully rutted her in the ribs and she threw her arm over my shoulder.

I haven't gone out to the shops in Velaris since I’d been back home. A part of me had forgotten how beautiful my home truly was. I tried not to stare in awe at the new vendors, the smell of food lingering in the air. People walked to and fro, running errands for the day. Mor and I had found one of my favorite dress shops and all but pulled me into the shop. 

The designer was known for her slightly scandalous fashion. Floor length gowns with cut outs that left little to the imagination but were still heartbreakingly gorgeous. By the time Mor and I left, our arms were full of bags and I still had a few more dresses to pick up that needed to be altered. 

We flitted in and out of more stores until the sun was starting to sink behind the horizon. When I noticed where we were I almost suggested we stopped by Rita’s but my shoulders were starting to hurt from the weight of the bags and Mor wouldn’t be able to winnow us into the house if we did have a few drinks nor did I even want to think of carrying them back. 

So when we finally checked out from the last store, Mor having purchased a honestly hideous printed shirt for Cassian, we joined arms and started the walk back to the townhouse. 

After dropping off all of my new things in my room, I knew I had to go apologize to Rhys. Armen could wait, if I ever bothered to say sorry to her. She wouldn’t hold it against me either way. Our relationship was more antagonist than anything else anyways. So I put the clothes into my closet and padded off to find Rhys.

Eventually I found him in his study. He didn’t look up as I closed the door behind me. I called his name. Still nothing. So I walked over to his desk. I noticed he was clutching a letter in his hand, holding it so tightly that it was starting to crinkle. I went beside him and soothed the letter out of his hand. My face paled as I read carefully over the words.

Feyre was marrying Tamlin. 

The letter wasn’t an invitation. Just a simple announcement that would be extended to all high lords when one of them married. I dropped the piece of paper like it had burned me. I grasped for the right words to say to my brother, but when he looked up at me they all faded away. Agony I had never quite seen in them before knocked the breath from my lungs. 

“I know I have no reason to be upset. I should just be happy that she’s  happy. But I can’t find it in me.” He stared at the tattoo on his hand. “I’ll never see her again. Not after she marries him. I might get glimpses at balls but I’ll never really be able to see her.” Never be able to see her because we both know how Tamlin treats the people he loves. The gilded cage Feyre will be locked in the moment she says “I do”. I gave myself a moment to mourn for the girl. But I know there was nothing either of us could do in this situation. So I did the only thing I could think of. I strolled over to the bar cart in the corner of the room and poured both of us a few fingers of whiskey. He eyed it carefully as I passed him the glass. He took it out of my hands and knocked it back in one fluid motion. I did the same with mine. Holding out the glass for more, I poured him another. We just sat drinking until the familiar flush started to creep onto my face. Rhys hasn't said much, neither of us have. Content with drinking away the pit in both of our stomachs. 

“I love her.” He said after he finished his third glass. He didn’t sound. In fact this was  the most sober I think I had ever heard him

“I think I’ve loved her since I first saw her in the spring court. But I know I loved her when she offered herself in place of Tamlin. This brave human offering to save our entire world, who before that moment would have let her tear her to shreds.” He grimaced, as if the very thought disgusted him. 

“So tell her.” I said with a shrug. He glared at me. 

“You know it’s not that easy.” I did know. But I wanted him to be happy. I didn’t want him to have to sit here and drown out his sorrow while Tamlin got to play hero. Tamlin, who sat around while my brother risked his neck time and time again to save Feyre. He slumped down into his chair and laughed at the ceiling. 

“The mother can be a real bitch sometimes. I don’t know what I did to deserve all this good fortune.” His voice was bitter and truly didn’t know how to respond. I went to pour him another glass but he put a hand over his glass. 

“As much as I appreciate what you’re doing. I think I need to go to sleep before I march into the Spring Court and drag her out. Regardless of if she’ll hate me or not.”  His eyes soften as he looks at me. “You should head to bed soon too. I don’t need to look into your mind to know you’re going a million miles a minute right now.” 

He wasn’t wrong. My thoughts had been roaring around in my head since I read that letter. It wasn’t hard to put myself back into Feyre’s shoes. My heart panged for this selfless girl. How long until the cracks in the foundation started show and she would be pulled into the storm that is Tamlin. I nodded in acknowledgement of his words. Putting the cork back onto the glass bottle. I rose from my chair, rolling my stiff shoulders. Rhys and I both returned to our respective rooms. 

Hard as I tried, I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned but couldn’t get comfortable. I had run out of the sleeping tonic a few nights before so I just accepted that sleep wasn’t going to come. I made no move to get out of bed though. I just curled my covers tighter over me. When the sun peeked through my curtain. I didn’t get up. I didn’t go to training. I didn’t even get up from my bed until mid afternoon, just going far enough to use the bathroom. Immediately crawling back into the warmth of my bed. 

Someone had knocked on the door and I pretended to be asleep when I heard the door click open. I ignored the smell of cedar until I felt a shadow sweep across my bed, settling by my face. If it knew I was asleep, it didn’t respond to its master. But it also didn’t leave when my door softly shut. I just turned to face away from the ripple of blackness. Not wanting to deal with the comfort the small action granted me. 

When I finally left my bedroom the next day, I learned Rhys had behaved similarly yesterday. The two of us floating around the house. We were bad enough that the others cleared out of whatever room we were in. I couldn’t find it in myself to really care enough to knock it off. 

This continued for the remainder of the week leading up to the date of the wedding. I expected the same behavior as I woke up the morning of the big day. But when I walked into the kitchen, Rhys was sitting around the table with Cassian and Azriel, head thrown back in laughter. He turned his head to me as I walked in and smiled at me.

“Glad to see you’re feeling better.” I grunted at him. Walking to the fridge I pulled out a bowl of fruit and swiped a couple pieces of sliced strawberry. He hummed in response and Cassian spoke up.

“We’re going to the cabin later, if you want to come with us. We’ll need someone to help us finish all this booze.” He gestured to three large boxes that were occupying the floor of the kitchen. I raised an eyebrow to Rhys and he shook his head. Drop it. He spoke in my head. I shoved him out and when I looked back at him, he looked hurt. 

“Boys, can I speak to my brother alone?” The two looked confused but stood up from the table regardless. 

“You don’t approve?” Rhy asked plainly. I scoffed.

“They might not know what today is, but I do,” I snatched the unopened bottle from his hand. “If you want to drink yourself stupid, I won’t stop you but that doesn’t prevent all of this from happening.” He made a lunge for the bottle and I was somehow able to keep it out of his grasp. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose between two fingers. 

“What do you want me to say? That I would rather her marry anyone else than him? That I wish I was the one that she was happy to see. That I wished she would change her mind…” He trailed off. Eyes seemingly far away.  Horror washed over his face. 

“Rhys?” I spoke softly, wondering if I pushed him too hard. 

“I have to go.” Was all he said and before I could catch him, he had winnowed away. 

I had been on edge since Rhys disappeared with no sign of where he was going to. It hasn't been more than an hour but I was about to wear a hole through the rugs in the hallway with my pacing. Suddenly, I heard Rhys in my head. Grab Mor and meet me at the big house. I didn’t respond. Just went to find Mor, she must have received a similar message because when I got to her room she was already waiting for me. She didn;t ask any questions, merely grabbing my arm and winnowing us to the house we rarely ever used. When we arrived to the house I nearly gasped as I saw why Rhys had disappeared so suddenly. I just had time to make out a satin slipper as it was chucked with deadly precision right at Rhys’ head. She had barely launched the other one at him before she stormed off up the stairs. Rhys was all but growling as he stalked over to us. “That went well.” Mor snorted at him and this time Rhys actually growled at her before stalking over to his own room. 

We didn't see or hear from Feyre for the rest of the night, the three of us eating in silence. I felt the tension rolling off of Rhys when Nuala and Cerridwen informed us that Feyre hadn't eaten the dinner they had left for her. My stomach sank and I avoided the stare from my brother. He had asked me to go check on her. Saying that I could offer her some company. I didn’t have it in me to talk to her yet. Didn’t want to make this day, this decision, about me. And I know going into that room I would see a younger version of myself I wasn’t ready to face. 

The next day, Rhys had insisted on her joining us for breakfast. She came stomping down the stairs. “I’m not a dog.” She sneered at him before taking a tentative seat at the table. 

She looked around and her eyes locked onto mine, recognition sparkling in them,

“I remember you. You were under the mountain. What are you doing here?” Her tone was surprisingly pleasant, a stark contrast from every word she had said to my brother. 

I introduced myself. “I’m his sister.” She laughed at that. 

“I’m sorry to hear that.” It was hard to bite back my comment while I looked at her. It was like looking into an old memory, the dark circle around her eyes, the way the light had completely vanished behind them. She didn’t even look like this under the mountain. Tamlin had broken her completely. I’m sorry for you. I didn’t say that though, instead just responding with a simple. 

“You get used to it.” 

“I doubt that.” She snorted and started picking at the food in front of her.

[cat-eared-dollwitch]

The doll felt its witch’s arms gently snake under its own. She held its brass and porcelain body against her, her grasp soft and tentative.

“If I asked you to hurt me, would you?” She asked her doll. Her voice was quiet and fragile. Something was wrong.

The doll hugged its witch back, thinking. Pseudo-flesh on a titanium frame. They were both dolls of a sort. Porcelain fingers splayed out on the witch’s lower back, feeling through the fabric of her shirt the tightness of synthetic muscle around her spine. Its witch liked it when that valley in between muscle groups just above the base of her tail got massaged. It had a calming effect on her. It usually made her purr, actually, but in that moment her throat stayed silent.

“I would never hurt you, ma’am.” the doll intoned.

“Even if I asked you nicely?” the witch asked, then gently nuzzled her face into the crook of the doll’s neck.

“Negative.”

Her voice was muffled by the fabric of the doll’s dress when she spoke again. “Or if I ordered you?”

The doll felt something twist in its clockwork heart. Its hands froze on its witch’s back, the massage halted. “I… think that would make this one very sad, ma’am.” It’s voice wavered a little, emotion just barely showing through.

“Oh..” the witch squeezed its doll a little tighter in her embrace.

The doll didn’t want to think about hurting its witch. The very idea made it want to cry. It said as much, voice almost breaking from the feeling in its chest. “Being forced to hurt you would make this one cry.”

The witch flinched a little. “I-I’m sorry. I won’t ask you about something like that again.”

“It is alright, ma’am.” it intoned simply. The sadness slowly began to drain out of its frame and its hands started to knead and rub its witch’s back again.

The witch was silent for a few moments, then asked another question. “If I was hurt, would you tend to my wounds?”

“Without question.” Her doll answered immediately.

The doll felt the witch shake softly. “Thank you.” she murmured against her doll’s dress.

“There is no need for thanks. Taking care of you is my job, ma’am. It would be an honor to bandage your wounds.”

A shaky half purr escaped her throat. “Thank you anyway.” she said.

“If you were broken into one thousand pieces, this one would stitch every shard back together, one by one, until you were whole again.” it said, finding its voice full of a conviction that it didn’t realize it had that much of.

“Oh doll...” the witch murmured and more shaky purring followed. And as a tail curled softly around its leg, the doll realized its shoulder was getting wet. Its witch was crying.

“Ma’am?” the doll queried.

A fragile “Mhm?” in between broken purring was all it got in response.

“Care you.”

Its witch sobbed once, an ugly sob ripped free from a throat already occupied by self-comforting vibrations. The doll held her tighter, close and secure.

“Safe.” it said simply, one word carrying the weight of so much more than just its dictionary meaning.

The witch took a moment to get her shuddering breath under control. She sniveled. “Safe.” she rasped back. She was safe. “Thank you. Care you too.” she added, and meant it with her whole artificial heart.

[themyscirah]

This is how this went right?

Parallax!Hal: I miss being a hero... wish I had my ring back

Kyle: oh well you can have mine then! That way you can have a second chance : )

Parallax!Hal: YES!!! A SECOND CHANCE TO PLAY GOD AND RESHAPE THE WORLD AS I WILL IT MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Kyle, now ringless: .................huh. im gonna be honest here I really didn't see that coming

[xxxdreamscapexxx]

Only for you

Emo!Wanda Maximoff x FemReader

Word count: 4.2k

Summary: Just the above, but I also added some reader backstory

Warning: Reader backstory including: physical pain, arguing, bullying, mental instability, manipulation, R being held against her will Present time storyline: mutual pining, Unestablished lesbian relationship, slight teasing by the team, jealousy, posessiveness, love confessions, fluff, Happy!Ending <3

Joining the Avengers was a challenge. It wasn’t the constant work outs and strict diet to keep you healthy and strong, it wasn’t even the danger or the threats to your life, even the annoying attempts of the media to follow you and snap pictures of you didn’t bother you that much. They all got buried by the government before they saw the light of day anyway. It was the people. Not that you weren’t grateful to them. They had saved your life after all. Gave you a purpose in life. But… The Avengers were a tough group to get to know and even tougher to live with sometimes. Of course, some preferred having their own homes, like Clint and his family, or the notorious Captain Marvel, that didn’t even live on Earth, and just as expected, those that did live in the tower had their own floors, rooms, offices, so you didn’t even meet them that much, but that just made it even harder to really connect. That’s why Steve insisted on team building activities, training together, even attending Tony’s stupid parties, all in the name of bonding. The man meant well and he really had a big heart, but he just couldn’t see that some of the Avengers had very little in common.

The thing is… You were born a witch. Not from a powerful clan, or with deeply rooted ancestry, and you probably would have stayed that way, had you not made a terrible mistake. Truly, you were just angry at the time. Barely a teenager, who thought she had all the answers. You were arguing with your mother about something, not that you could even remember what for. It was probably so stupid. But you both lost your temper, screaming at each other, until she had sent you to your room. She thought she was de-escalating the situation, giving you both time to calm down. What she didn’t know is that you had been through her collection of spell books and brought them all to your room. So when you slammed the door behind you, stupidly, unthinkingly, you grabbed the books. You weren’t sure what kind of spell you were hoping to find. Just something to make all the emotions inside you stop raging. But you found an absorption spell instead. In your head, you thought that if you just learned this spell and then performed it, you’ll search through the books much faster and then you’d able to do… What? God, you had no idea. Thinking back now, that was such a ridiculous thing to do. But you learned the spell, grabbed the candles you had in your drawer, surrounded yourself with all the books you had taken and just started the chant, hands touching the pages of the books and starting to feel their content seeping into your skin. It stung! That’s what you remember most. The feeling of that black ink seeping into your skin, as if splitting it open to make its way inside, clawing its way in your veins. It hurt so bad, but it wouldn’t stop. You had said the words, and now the spell was doing its work, emptying the pages of the books around you. You tried to pull your hands away, struggled to get it to stop, but it wouldn’t. Every painful second felt like hours. The panic inside you was rising, watching the inky blotches making their way up your arms, crawling like black maggots under your skin, up your shoulders and neck… You were so scared, heart pumping wildly in your chest as you watched it happen, begging for it to finally stop.

But with the end of the spell, you found yourself facing a greater torment. You had taken too much, too fast for your brain to fully comprehend. All the words swirled in your head like a hurricane, making it impossible to distinguish your own thoughts. You tried to calm down, tried to put those racing thoughts in order, trying to meditate, just like your mother had thought you, but it was useless. It wouldn’t stop. In the end, it was your screams that attracted your mother to your room, panicked and scared, just as you were, trying to get you to tell her what you had done, but you couldn’t even put a sentence in order. Your brain was so scrambled, growing more incoherent by the second. Maybe that’s when you passed out? You couldn’t tell. You had very little recollections from that time. The next days were a blur. You don’t remember much. Just your room. Your mother told you that you were consumed by madness. Spewing lines from spells, incoherent and jumbled together. But sometimes you would get one right. She’d had to confine you to your room and bind you with runes, so you wouldn’t start casting without even knowing it. She told you it took you two weeks, before you started to come back to yourself. It was a miracle you even managed it. Some witches never recovered from such a thing. By the time you came back to your school, there were so many rumours about you, people whispering behind your back. You were changed. Thinner, more withdrawn, trying to keep to yourself. But kids were cruel and curious. They teased you, tried to get you to admit why you were missing from school all this time, attacking you, when you tried to ignore them. You should have known it was inevitable that you snapped and did something you’d regret.

It was just before summer break, you thought you had gotten through the worst of it, that you had your emotions under control, practicing every day, just so you could keep all the magic from spilling out. Many people didn’t know, but grimoires weren’t just books full of spells. Each spell, written within the pages was also a tiny bit of magic, leaving its imprint and taking root. You hadn’t just absorbed the knowledge, but the magic too. It was more than you’d ever felt, more than you knew how to control, so you practiced relentlessly. But when pushed, it bubbled to the surface. Fucking Madeleine Dupont, daughter of the Patric Dupont – owner of the biggest, most profitable manufacturing business in town, was obnoxious, spoiled, annoying and with a mean streak wider than her daddy’s newly acquired 23 acres of land for their grand mansion. The girl loved to pick on everyone, but recently, she had set her sights on you and in that fateful day, she and her friends cornered you into an empty classroom, taking drugs out of their pockets and trying to get you to take them. When “gentle” persuasion failed, one of them grabbed you, holding you by the hair and trying to force your face onto a desk, where they had spilled some powder. You didn’t even know what it is. But they started to overpower you, and the tears spilling down your cheeks as you tried to tell them that you didn’t want this, that you needed them to stop, only added to their exhilaration.

They eventually pinned you down, laughing menacingly as they tried to get you to breathe it in and you lost control, pushing them back with your magic, a wave of energy blasting through the whole room, making desks and chairs fly to the ground, just like the girls had done. You tried to reign yourself in, to stop the emotions from taking over, but you were mumbling spells already. You remember just a blast. You remember waking up in a cell, body strapped to a small hospital bed, being pumped full of something. And the woman. She was your “handler” and on most days, the only person you saw or spoke with. She told you what happened. You’d killed those girls. Part of the building collapsed because of what you had done and the rubble crushed them. You must have protected yourself on instinct. Survived it somehow. They were giving you medication, making sure you heal properly. And then your training could begin. They were HYDRA. And they had a special interest in people like you. They made it clear that they weren’t just your supposed saviours, but also your captors. They weren’t going to just let you leave their facility. Instead, they aimed to train you. You were one of the lucky ones. You learned that after you were rescued from that HYDRA base. They never tortured you physically. Instead, they decided that they could break your mind, already weakened by what you’d done to yourself. They aimed to convert you. Half your training was spells and magic, endurance, strength… The other part… That was indoctrination. And they used everything they knew about you just to do it. When you refused to say the right things, they withheld food, when you refused to train, they withheld water… When that didn’t work, they would use threats. Your mother. They weren’t above hurting her to make you behave. They weren’t above killing her, if you didn’t do what you’re told.

You often held out hope that she was looking for you. That she’d find you and save you. But she didn’t have half as much power as you did. And you couldn’t escape them. What luck would she have? Eventually, your only hope of escape was to save yourself and after a few failed attempts, you formed a plan. You did as you were told, said what they needed to hear and you trained. You trained every waking moment, making sure your body and mind would be strong enough to take on all the magic you invited into yourself. That absorption spell? You used it more often, although, you limited the amount of information this time. It always hurt, the headaches after each use were monstrous. But it was all worth it. You were going to get yourself out of there one day. Even if you had to take down the whole base to do it. But it was the Avengers who took it down and helped you out of there. They reunited you with your mother, your family, and after some time, they also offered you a job. A calling. To help people. Those who weren’t as fortunate as you. Those in need. And you said yes. That’s how you ended up in the Avengers tower. Despite the people, it was a lonely place. Few understood what you had been though, fewer still cared for what it had done to you. But you couldn’t blame them. They all had their own lives, their own problems to deal with, their own personal pain to wallow in. Natasha understood. She knew what being a prisoner was like, what it felt like to be forced to do things just to survive. Steve empathised. His big heart and his puppy dog eyes were unbelievably charming and he won you over easily. Clint brought normalcy to everyone’s lives. But most of the others were hard to relate to. Tony meant well, but he had a big mouth and he loved putting his foot in it. Bruce was always in his lab. Vision was kind, but he was also marked by the characteristics of his origin and hard to make a connection with. Thor… Where do you even start with Thor? But there was also Wanda.

She had joined before you, her story similar to yours, yet so different, marked by loss and heartache. She was a kindred spirit and easily a friend. She was a little older than you, her eyeliner thick, her black nail polish often chipped, her hair in a tight ponytail as she walked around the compound and she always smiled when she saw you. As the months passed, the two of you were inseparable, spending every waking moment together. You were one of the two people who wasn’t scared that she’d read your mind, who trusted her good intentions and good heart completely. The other was Vision. They had a bond, an understanding that you didn’t know how to share in. But you were happy that she had him in her corner, because the other Avengers always looked at her suspiciously, or avoided her and you never knew why. Wanda was a sweetheart. Her favorite way to watch sitcoms was with her cuddled up into your side, your fingers playing with her silky hair, that she always let down, when it was just the two of you in the room. And sure, she was a little emo, but you found that adorable. Her smile would only widen, when you’d use one of your many pet names for her and she would blush, when you complimented her cooking. And you used those all the time, because, the thing is, you were in love with her. You were desperately in love with Wanda Maximoff and you were ready to do just about anything to have her smile at you or shower you with her affection. Something she did practically all the time anyway. If the woman wasn’t also fiercely protective and an extremely powerful witch, you’d say she’s a puppy. But none of the others ever agreed, when you said so. They would cower, when she stepped into the room, avoid her eyes, when they needed to speak to her, they would step out of training rooms, when she walked in. You found it baffling. And somehow the treatment extended to you as well. The closer you got to her, the more they kept their distance.

Gone were the days when they would tease you playfully, when they would give you pointers on your techniques, when they would approach you for small gatherings that didn’t involve the whole team and you never knew why. Until today. You walked in the common room, only to find most of the team already there and you greeted them, before you made your way to the adjacent kitchen, listening to their banter as you made breakfast for yourself and Wanda. It was the dynamic you were used to and you were ready to join them, holding the bowls of food in your hands, when you noticed that the noise suddenly died down, replaced by tense silence. “Wanda.” Natasha greeted with a nod. “Natasha.” The younger woman acknowledged, stepping further into the room and scanning it for something. Not that she ever told them what she needs. She looked pissed. Her aura was dark and almost menacing, her shoulders squared, like she was ready for a fight, making everyone on edge and you couldn’t figure out why. “Hi, sweetheart!” You decide to finally greet her, showing yourself from behind the wall you had been standing, while you observed all this. “Sweetheart?” Tony lifted an eyebrow, an amused smile creeping up his lips. Wanda only threw him a glare, but she accepted your hug happily, taking you into her arms and when you pulled away, she only let you turn into her hold, facing the group, while her hands stayed firmly around you. “Let’s go have breakfast in my room.” She suggested in your ear, ready to practically drag you out of there. “Why not join all of us for breakfast?” Steve raised his voice, gesturing to the big table he was already sitting at. “That’d be nice.” You nodded, before Wanda had any chance to refuse. “Come on, Wands, I already fixed you a bowl.” You told her. “Yes, Wands, we haven’t seen you in ages.” Tony agrees, emphasising the nickname you had used.

Feeling like she didn’t have much of a choice, Wanda agreed, sitting next to you and pulling your chair practically into her side, so she’d have you as close to her as she could, while she ate quietly. But the team felt like they had stumbled onto something. They had felt the shift in mood within her, as soon as she saw you and they weren’t going to let it go so easily. At first they tried their playful banter on her, asking her about her day, about her interests, about her training, just anything to see a reaction, but none actually came. It was only when you spoke that she would light up. She would smile, when she listened to you, when she forgot that it wasn’t just the two of you in the room. But it was the little blush that showed on her cheeks, when you called her “darling” that first sparked an idea within them. “Hey, Y/N, I hear you tried your hand against Cap here.” Bucky stared off, attracting your attention. “Tried being the key word. Hand to hand I don’t stand a chance, but with a little magic…” You trailed off, shrugging. “Who knows…” “Yeah?” His smile widens. “Well, if you’re looking for a challenge, join me for a spar this afternoon.” He invited. “She’s training with me this afternoon.” Wanda practically growled, looking up from her bowl for just a second, to stare down Bucky. Her glare was murderous. “That’s too bad, I was hoping for a little magic.” The man said, obviously bating Wanda. “Then perhaps you should train with me. I have magic.” Wanda snarled, summoning a ball of energy between her fingers for a moment, just to get her point across and luckily, the man was smart enough to back off. “Well, if you’re busy training, perhaps I can finally take dear Y/N to get a proper costume. The two of you can’t keep borrowing my leather jackets and pretend that it’s a real suit.” Natasha interjected. “What do you say dear?” She asked, her voice dropping an octave. “I already have some ideas in mind. You can try them on for me.” She suggested, noting the way Wanda’s knuckles turned white around her spoon. “And I’m sure Tony can make some improvements.” “Oh yeah.” The man chimed in, happy to take his own turn teasing Wanda. “I’ll have to get your measurements of course. To make sure it fits perfectly.” He says casually, but the idea of it makes Wanda’s blood boil. “She’s busy today.” Wanda retorts, before you even get a chance to open your mouth and you find yourself surprised to see her so tense. “Tomorrow perhaps.” Tony shrugs, taking on Wanda’s glare. “I’ll make time for her.” He adds. “She’s mine.” Wanda snaps, raising from her seat and balling her fists. “What was that?” Tony pretends not to hear her, smirking at the pissed off witch. “I said, she’s mine.” Wanda grits out, turning to you, ready to drag you out of the room.

It’s then that she realizes what she had said. That you were right there next to her, looking at her with a mixture of disbelief and hopefulness. The thing is, Wanda was desperately in love with you too. She was also, as the team quickly started to realize, extremely possessive, and she wasn’t going to watch every man and woman in the room flirt with you. The only problem was that she hadn’t told you all that. Scared to ruin your friendship and loose you for good, she opted for hiding her feelings, which only intensified her jealousy. She hadn’t staked her claim on you and it made her scared that someone else might. So every time you weren’t with her, she’d be on edge, lurking in corners, sending people glares whenever they spoke to you, hoping to keep them away until she could finally tell you how she felt. Such behaviour had earned her a reputation in the Tower as grumpy, and since everyone knew how dangerous she could be, they tried to stay away. Now, however, cornered and taken by surprise, she had let it slip. And you were right next to her, so it was impossible that you didn’t hear her earlier words. “Y/N…” She stutters, taken aback. “I didn’t mean… I…” She stumbled over her words. And the audience didn’t help in the slightest. She felt crowded. Tony’s smug smirk seemed to taunt her, Bucky and Steave sharing a knowing giggle between them, Natasha, who somehow looked unphased and simply amused at the whole scene, it was all overwhelming. And then, there was you. Shocked at what you’d heard and looking at her in disbelief. God, she needed to get out of there… Before she had a chance to say much else, before she could think it all through, she stormed out. She didn’t even know how she ended up in the hallway, her legs carrying her on their own, when she heard your voice. “Wanda!” You were calling out her name, jogging slightly to catch up to her. “Wanda, please wait!” You called out again, seemingly not for the first time. “Please, we should talk about this.” You said, watching her stop, so she could wait for you. “I’m so sorry, Y/N…” She squeezed her eyes shut. “I had to get out of there.” She tried to say, her voice shaking a little with all the emotions that were raging inside her. “It’s ok. I understand.” You nodded, taking her hand, so you could help her feel more grounded.

The small touch between you, just the feeling of your hand in hers felt electrifying and she easily took the other one as well, pulling you close, until she could have you in her arms, securing you in a tight embrace and making you look up at her. “You don’t understand.” She said, hands shaking. “I’m so in love with you. I have been for months now. And I was so scared to tell you, so scared of loosing you, that I just…” She paused, struggling to find the right words. “And the way they were talking to you, the way they all looked at you… I can’t stand the thought of anyone else having you. I want you to be mine. I want you all to myself. I want to fall asleep next to you and wake up with you in my arms, I want to spend every day showing you that I love you. I want… You!” She confessed, her arms tightening around you, as if you’d escape her grasp somehow. “Oh, Wanda…” You whispered, a gentle smile farming on your lips as you watched her eyes sparkle. “I’ve been in love with you too. And I didn’t know how to tell you…” You said, trying to swallow the lump in your throat. The moment felt heavy, thick with emotions as you both stood frozen in time, eyes glued to the other, when suddenly a voice, startled you both. “Maximoff, kiss the girl already!” Tony said smugly, followed by cheers from the people around him. Were they watching you on the hallway cameras this whole time? Not that you had time to think about that, when Wanda was leaning closer, her eyes flashing red, before she shortened the distance between you both, until she was only a breath away. Her features were so different now, she was smiling as she held you, biting her lips, eyes full of adoration and longing.

When she finally placed her lips on yours, a gentle caress at first, it felt like you were in heaven. You had wished for this moment for so long, imagined it every night, before you fell asleep, dreamt of it and longed for it and it was finally happening and you just couldn’t get enough. When she felt your eager lips on hers, Wanda didn’t hesitate to deepen the kiss, tongue darting out, asking for permission to taste you further and mingling with yours, once you allowed her access. It was only when she pushed you against the nearest wall, trapping your body with hers, that you finally paused. “We’re giving everyone a show.” You reminded her, head pointing to the camera in the corner. “Never.” Wanda smirked, her magic flashing once more, to show you that she had disabled the feed, before you even kissed. “Only I’m allowed to see you like this. I would never share you with anyone else.” She said with a note of possessiveness that you were growing to love, the more you saw it. She kissed you again. And then again, greedy hands squeezing your hips. She could never get enough of you. She felt drunk on you and only reluctantly pulled away when you both needed to breathe. “We should get back.” You said reluctantly. “Let’s go to my room instead. We’ll take it slow. We don’t have to do anything. I just want you all to myself.” She suggested. “I don’t want to share you.” “Wait… Is that why everyone thinks you’re so grumpy?” You suddenly realized, remembering countless times, when Wanda has wanted your undivided attention, skipping events and avoiding people. She didn’t say anything, but at this point you didn’t need her to. “We should show them how wrong they are. You’re amazing and warm and loving and sweet and I want everyone to know that.” You told her honestly. “But we’ll go to my room after?” She held you firmly, refusing to let you go just yet. “Yes, we’ll go to your room after.” You nodded happily. “I’ll even let you pick what we’re watching.” You added teasingly. Wanda smiled, pulling away just enough to let you straighten yourself and she held your hand, letting you guide her back to the common room, watching your hips sway seductively. It was sweet, she thought, that you believed she’d be wasting her time with sitcoms, when she could finally have you the way she’s wanted you for so long… _______________________________________________________ Hi, dear anon. I hope that you are happy with the story you got for your request! <3

[literaila]

a bit loud

gojo satoru x fem!reader

summary: you and satoru take the kids to the fair

warnings: satoru is overstimulated (argue with the wall), and fluff

last part | next part

*

year two.

satoru doesn’t really like crowds. 

this is nothing new. when he was a kid, it was usually just him. a teacher or two, a nursemaid to make sure he didn't run away or break anything. 

he grew used to being the most important thing, the only important person in a twenty-mile vicinity. 

he got used to being alone. 

and now, satoru enjoys going out and buying things, but only on weekdays, early in the morning or late at night—when it’s empty enough to see just the barest of things and pay complete attention to what he’s doing. 

he likes going out with you—and the children, when they’re behaving—but only when his sole worry is about one of you wandering off. 

he doesn’t enjoy watching over all of you. thinking about all of the people around you, seeing them, and wondering if he needs to step in the way. 

he hates it when he runs into person after person, trying still to be polite—like you beg him to—not wanting to say that it’s all too much. that he could go insane with just the pure force of all of those people. their involuntary attacks. 

it's just loud with so many people. even with his brain actively repairing itself at any given moment, it’s an overwhelming feeling—to see

everything that’s going on around him. to know exactly how everyone's feeling at every second, and try to defend himself--and all of you--from them.

he recalls something someone said once about strength having drawbacks… 

but, today, he thinks, today he’ll deal with it. 

it's safe to say that satoru isn't used to this many people in one place--standing in line for everything or maneuvering his way through a crowd. 

but it's fine. 

especially when you’ve got that grin on your face—that half-serious, half-delirious look. the kind of look that would be enough to rip his heart out, if he'd let it. 

satoru doesn’t get to see that very often, anymore. 

and even before it was only in the middle of the night. when he would drag you around when you were both supposed to be sleeping, sneaking off campus and getting you into trouble. when the two of you would giggle breathlessly in the dark, completely alone, pretending to be just kids. 

when he might imagine a future that wasn't just jujutsu, but something more. 

that look on your face might be his favorite thing. 

“what should we do first?” you ask tsumiki—who is looking in awe at all of the bright colors and flashing lights—and megumi, who’s trying to pretend like he’s not clinging to your side. 

every couple of seconds the four of you move to the side, trying to avoid all of the other people.

satoru is particular about the way he leads all of you, trying not to wince every time someone shouts something. he ducks around one person and steps to the side for another. 

you don't seem to mind, so satoru pretends he doesn't. 

“ferris wheel!” tsumiki says, looking up above her. it's in front of all of you, much bigger than satoru expected from pictures. how a giant circle that spins round and round is fun, he's not sure. 

he frowns. “can’t we get something to eat? i think they have taiyaki.” 

“i wasn’t asking you,” you tell satoru, rolling your eyes like you’ve been doing since he made fun of you for jumping out of the car. 

it really was cute, though. 

he leans his chin on your shoulder easily, walking alongside you. tsumiki’s hand is in one of his, and megumi is basically attached to your leg, hands curled around your pants. “good thing i answered anyway.” 

cue another eye roll and you looking to megumi. “you okay with the ferris wheel?” 

“yeah,” he mutters, frowning when someone else brushes against him. 

but even satoru saw the way he lit up at the first sight of the fair, all of the rides and games. even though he might act like a single, depressed, middle-aged man—he’s just a boy. 

and satoru imagines this is supposed to be fun. if he was seven he would've run away already, trying to hide from whoever was supposed to watch him that day. he probably would've gotten lost and then stolen some candy from one of the many different stands. 

but he would've liked it, he's sure. even if it is loud. 

satoru grins, looking at the boy. “are you sure?” he teases. “not going to get scared?” 

megumi glares. “why would i be scared?” 

“satoru, don’t be mean.” 

“what?” he asks you, ignoring the way you and megumi share a look. “i’m just asking. you know how he gets around heights.” 

“im not five,” megumi tells him, scoffing. 

satoru tries not to snort. 

“leave him alone," you say, shaking your head at him, though satoru watches you refrain a smile. "i can sit with him if he doesn’t want to go. okay, megs?” 

tsumiki pouts at that idea, though satoru knows she won’t argue. and neither will you, even though satoru's pretty sure that you're dying to be on that spinning thing. 

megumi, obviously noticing this, bucks his chin. “no. i’ll go.” 

“ooo, bravery,” satoru sidesteps your push, “that’s a good lesson for you.” 

“don't tease him."

“are you scared?” megumi asks. 

satoru laughs. “please.” 

you grin, setting your free hand on his shoulder--an attack on his skin disguised as a comforting gesture--looking at him with a mock pout. “aw, satoru. it’s okay. if you want to stay behind, i’m sure megumi wouldn’t mind waiting with you…” 

megumi smirks. “yeah. i’ll wait.” 

tsumiki looks up at him with wide eyes. “it’s okay to be afraid, gojo. we don’t have to go.” 

he knocks your arm away and lets go of tsumiki’s hand—though making sure to search around him at all times for her presence, like he’s learned to do (he's lost them far too many times in the house to do anything different). he crosses his arms. “you guys are so uncivilized.” 

you all laugh, but that's the end of the discussion. 

ferris wheel it is. 

while you're waiting in line you tell satoru that it's prettier at night, when you get to the top and can look down at all of the lights. satoru nods along, feeling grateful that it's not night and he doesn't have to experience that. but he grins at you all the while, pretending to be interested in whatever memories you tell him about. 

he'd listen to you talk about the components of dirt, probably (while complaining the entire time, of course).

and megumi is forced to sit next to satoru when you all get on the ride, you laughing at something he says next to tsumiki, the two of you watching as the ride begins to go up. 

satoru pretends not to notice the way megumi moves closer to him as they get higher and higher. the way he leans into his side, closer than he'd usually get.

and he pretends not to notice all of the people. 

it’ll be fine, he’s sure. it's not that bad, anyway. it’s only one day.

* 

you’re pouting when he steps up to the bar, handing the attendant a ticket that he purchased for way too much money. 

satoru stands behind you and watches you fail miserably at the ring toss four times before he steps in. honestly, it was a bit sad. 

“it’s okay,” satoru tells you, wanting to squeeze your precious face. “i’ll get you the teddy bear.” 

you cross your arms. “it’s not for me, it’s for the kids.” 

“well, i’ll win them it.” 

you frown even deeper, looking away from him. 

tsumiki and megumi are leaning over the railing behind you, both of them watching eagerly. though, tsumiki gives satoru a “good luck!” and megumi only stares. 

whatever. when he wins the boy his own bear—probably the one with the hearts all over it, just to mess with him—he’ll get a smile. 

or megumi will side with you like always and throw away his bear in the nearest trash can. satoru doesn't really care, as long as he gets to laugh in your face after he wins. 

satoru throws his first ring—which obviously goes directly on the bottle—and you mutter something like “show off," behind him. 

he smirks at you and throws another. 

after five rings, satoru naturally not missing one, you’re almost slack-jawed.

and then he does it again (because he can’t get one bear for both children) and you’re furious. 

“how did you do that?” you demand, as the attendant hands satoru both the bears—a pink, glittery one that satoru will probably steal for tsumiki. “these games are supposed to be rigged.” 

“then why are we playing them?” satoru asks, still grinning as he hands both of the kids the bears he’s just won them. his eyes don't leave yours for a moment. 

tsumiki squeals, happily, naming her bear clementine and patting its head. megumi only stares at his. 

“because—“ you say, pausing. your face is scrunched up. “well, i thought i could win.” 

“what did we learn today, children?” satoru asks, rhetorically. 

“that you’re a show-off,” you say, without hesitation. 

“and you’re a sore loser.” 

you scoff. “okay, satoru. we’ll see who’s talking the next time you lose at go fish.” 

“you guys were cheating.” 

“were not,” megumi says, frowning at both of you. tsumiki is too wrapped up in her new prize to pay any attention. 

“were too.” 

“please go find a new family,” you deadpan to satoru, looking around. “oh, look, there’s a couple of birds by that game. perfect for you.” 

“if i’m living with any woodland creature,” he tells you, “it’s the squirrels. they are a proper society.” 

“‘woodland creature?’” you mock, shaking your head. “did you hit your head on your ego by accident?”  

satoru only grins at that, and the way you look back at the ring toss, still frowning. 

your attitude today is very interesting to him. 

you might as well be one of the kids, floating around the fair, wanting to try everything. he’s watched you refrain yourself from bouncing on your heels several times already. 

it’s… nice, satoru thinks. you’re always so pretty, but especially with your dazed grin on. especially standing in the sun, eyes darting from place to place. 

your entire presence is a blow to his core. a direct attack on his heart and his fragile stability. 

especially when you’re trying to rile up tsumiki and megumi, double-checking to make sure that they’re having as much fun as you. shoving them into game after game and practically forcing them to have fun. 

satoru hasn't seen you like this ever. and he's also never been to the fair, so it's a strange day. 

and when the four of you begin to walk around again, you don’t push satoru away, not to glare at him, or ask him what game to play next. you just idle beside him, eyes sparkling in the light. 

and he ignores it when megumi asks if you can really find him a new family or not. 

* 

satoru and tsumiki are looking for you and megumi—even though you’re well over sixty feet in the air. 

“is that them?” tsumiki asks, pointing at a blob in the sky. 

satoru looks up, wincing at the sun, seeing nothing but specks in the air. and clouds. it's a nice day outside, not too warm, not too cold. 

and satoru might be going a bit delusional. he's been outside for two hours, which is an hour longer than he prefers. 

“yeah, i think i see megumi’s frown. huh.” 

ten minutes ago, you left the two of them there to go on the rollercoaster, after several minutes of debate about what you should do. 

tsumiki, like satoru, didn't love the idea of being whipped around in the air at a million miles per hour. not that satoru was scared--of course not--it's just that his hair is so delicate, and he'd have to take his glasses off. 

tsumiki, though, was scared, and you'd tried to move all of them along but satoru could tell how badly you wanted to go, and megumi kept looking up in interest, so he'd told you they would wait here. 

there were several minutes of you making sure that they were going to be okay without you. 

he obviously pushed you away and smiled as you walked away with megumi, a hand on his back as you rushed to get in line. 

“do you think he’s scared?” tsumiki asks him, smiling happily, her legs swinging in the air. 

“nah," satoru is sitting too close, definitely, but tsumiki doesn't seem to mind. her bangs blow a little with the wind and she pushes them out of her eyes. "probably just sitting there bored.” satoru does his best impression of megumi at any moment, crossing his arms and slouching down with a frown. 

tsumiki giggles, imitating him (and megumi). “how long will it take?” 

if satoru didn't know any better, he would say that she already misses you. even though you're not really that far away--just a hundred feet above them. if satoru was anybody else, he would realize that he already misses you too. 

but he doesn't. he's good here, with all of the other people in the world. you're basically just a coworker to him (not). 

he shrugs. “i don’t know. i’ve never been on a rollercoaster.” 

“me either.” 

he gives her a knowing look. “i don’t think we’re missing out on much.” 

“megumi wanted to go," tsumiki says, like it makes a difference. 

“megumi didn't argue when y/n wanted to go,” he corrects. because he doubts that the boy would've ever suggested it, had you not been there. “she likes stuff like that.” 

tsumiki makes a face and satoru pinches her cheek. it leaves a red mark--that you'll surely comment on when you come back--and tsumiki scrunches her nose at him. 

the two of them are almost alone in the crowd. sitting there together, both of them waiting for their other half. satoru really doesn't mind it, though, sitting with tsumiki. 

she's a pleasant distraction from everyone else. and her happiness seems to leak into him, like a drug. 

she reminds him of you in the best of ways. the secret specks of life he wouldn't be able to see in any other place. the same genuineness and consideration. 

“have you been here before?” she asks, after a moment, tilting her head curiously as she looks up at him with big brown eyes.

“nope,” satoru looks around, adjusting his glasses. “i had better things to do when i was your age.” 

“like what?” 

“uh…" satoru doesn't even remember. "eat cereal?” 

she giggles. 

“i don’t know," he grins at her, "i lived in a big house and we didn’t leave much.” 

“we live in a big house.” 

“bigger.” 

her eyes widen. “really?” 

“yup. but our house is better.” 

it's true enough, he thinks. it's less lonely with both of the kids around and you stopping by almost every day. more comforting. satoru doesn't feel like he's being pushed into anything when he gets home every day. 

he nudges tsumiki, tickling her side a bit. 

she giggles again, nodding. “the house megumi and i lived in before was smaller. we shared a room.” 

satoru nods. he's been there, he thinks. he's seen the mess, the space, and all of the time it took to wreck it all. 

well, if he's terrible at taking care of the kids, at least he can give them more than that. a house with two people to watch over them. dinner every night.

“i liked it, but i think megumi likes his own.” she tells him, “i like my room, too, though. especially with the poster you got me. and the pink sheets.” 

“yeah, i have excellent taste.” 

she smiles at him--because she's the nicest of all of you. then looks back into the sky. he looks up too, but he can't make you or megumi out any more than before. “how much longer?” 

“i don’t know…” satoru looks down, back to all of the noise surrounding him. “wanna get some wata-ame?” 

tsumiki’s eyes widen excitedly, and she nods.

satoru smiles at her mischievously, knowing that this is their only opportunity. 

(if you were there, you would kick him for trying to make her more hyper than she already is). 

“okay, let’s hurry before they’re done.” 

and neither of them really mind sitting back and watching. satoru basks at her little hand in his, and the smile she wears when you and megumi finally return. 

yeah, satoru doesn't have to think about it. he doesn't even need to try one out; he knows that this was better than any rollercoaster. 

* 

it's gotten a little bit louder, as the day goes on. just like satoru knew it would. 

he tries to distract himself with your smile, with megumi's annoyance any time he says anything to the boy, or tsumiki's wide eyes taking in every new attraction. and it works, for the most part. 

but there's that tapping on his eyes, like a signal that he needs to back away. every time someone walks too close, it gets a little bit harder. 

not that he'll say anything though. he can't ruin your fun with his eyes. 

now you and satoru are sitting on a bench, watching both megumi and tsumiki go by on the carousel. you wave at them every time, but satoru is looking up towards the sky, trying to ignore the poking at his eyes. 

“hey,” you nudge him after he's spent a minute like that. “you okay?” 

“hmm?” 

you wait until satoru looks at you, gesturing your chin towards him. “do you have a headache?” 

satoru stares at you, brows furrowing. you're not supposed to know anything, he thinks. he's kept this secret very close to his heart. 

(if you ignore the wincing and frown he has every time someone wins a prize around him). 

you laugh, maybe because he's withering. “we can go,” you tell him, a little too seriously. “i know this isn’t—“ 

satoru shakes his head immediately. “no. i’m fine.” 

“if you’re getting overwhelmed…” 

“i’m not. it’s okay,” he grins at you, trying not to feel all that affected by your concern. the last person to notice anything like his headaches, or silence was suguru. or, the only other person. “i just need a snack.” 

“you just had a snack.” 

“well, i need another one.” 

you roll your eyes, looking back to the kids, tsumiki going around with her mouth open wide in excitement. “fine. after this, we can find something.” 

satoru smiles pleased and rests his head on your shoulder. like a kitten. this lasts for a second before he wraps his arms around you, making sure that you have no possible escape. 

your heart is only so loud, but if he tilts his head enough, he can hear it pounding. it's soft, a gentle distraction from the rest of it.

you glance down at him and then away. “are you having fun?” 

“loads.” 

you poke his side. “satoru.” 

“what? it’s true!” 

“you’re such a liar,” you say, leaning away from his embrace. 

but satoru’s not going to allow that, so he adjusts his old, moving you so your legs are pressed directly against his. he ignores how warm you are, how soft. 

but it's pleasant, like this. a bit of reprieve for his head, and an excuse to keep you close. satoru would've spent the whole day clinging to you if he didn't know it would raise suspicions. if he didn't know that you would look at him weirdly and megumi would make some outrageous comment about him--

“i like it,” he says, “it’s exciting.” 

you don’t say anything. 

“c’mon, don’t pout. you’re supposed to be happy. having fun,” he whispers, just like you've been saying to the kids all day. 

you lean against him, eyes following the flashing lights. “i didn’t really think about how… much it is,” you bite your lip, “i’m sorry. we should've picked something else. something easier.” 

“no, really,” satoru looks up at you, and your cautious eyes. you've got that furrow in your brows--the same one you get when tsumiki is frowning or megumi says something a bit morose. and, really, he would take this more seriously if you didn't look so cute. “it’s fine. you think i haven't had a headache before?" he asks, shaking his head. "this is nothing. plus, the kids are having fun."

you raise a brow at him. “megumi?” 

“i mean… as much fun as he can have.” 

“he’s going to lock himself in his room for the next six days. i won’t get to see him at all.” 

“he’ll come out for dinner,” satoru reassures you, laughing when you frown. 

you both sit there for a moment, leaning on each other. it’s a well-practiced routine, this sort of closeness. it's been written again and again through many years, a comfort that neither of you will recognize. 

satoru listens to your heart closely, trying to ignore all of the other sounds and sights. 

this isn't overwhelming, he thinks, it's just different. he's sure that he'll make it through a couple of more hours. 

satoru clears his throat, after a moment, leaning back. “are you having fun?” 

you look at him, eyes wide in anticipation, mouth already curling. 

and yeah, you don’t really need to answer that. he already knows. 

*

“what next?” you’re asking, for probably the sixtieth time today. 

the kids are looking around, but their eyes are dreary. megumi is slow to blink, and tsumiki has lost that little glimmer in her smile. 

but, satoru notes, you’re as awake as ever. looking around—missing the obvious exhaustion of the two of them. you're wired, stuck to this one indulgence--more of a kid than either of them. 

he holds back a smile, letting tsumiki lean against his leg. she's slouching, moving at half of her normal pace. 

“hey,” he says to you, gesturing his head down to her. you look at him curiously.

the two of you share a look, but your brows stay furrowed.

“we could—“ tsumiki yawns, pausing for a moment. then she blinks. “we could do that climbing thing—“ she yawns again. “over there.” 

megumi looks where she’s pointing and doesn’t say anything. he doesn’t even look like he’s about to argue, even though he's been arguing about every decision for the last two hours. for his entire life. 

both of them are cranky. like toddlers missing their afternoon naps. 

and your eyes widen, devout attention suddenly on them. satoru can see it as the realization hits your face, looking between the two kids hurriedly. 

then you look at satoru, panicking a little. 

what do we do? you’re asking him, with just your expression. 

you've got a guilty look on your face, and satoru knows that you're thinking about all of the things you've forced them into--the seven hours you've dragged all of them around. 

he could tell you that he didn't mind a minute of it, but you'd just argue with him. 

he grins at you, tapping tsumiki’s shoulder. then he fakes a yawn. “i don’t know... i’m pretty tired...” he says, trying to make his voice rough. 

you look at him for a moment, then play along, a fake smile adorning your face. “aw, satoru. is it past your bedtime?”

“yes.”

you laugh, and rest your hand on top of megumi’s head “are you guys okay with going home now? we wouldn’t want satoru to miss out on his twelve hours.” 

satoru rolls his eyes. 

"you know how he gets," you add, to both of them, giving satoru a little grin--which he promptly tucks in his mind for safe-keeping. 

“fine,” megumi says, tripping on his feet. 

the two of them begin to walk blindly forward, not bothering to look for the exit. they are practically zombies at this point, completely out of it. satoru is quick to snatch the back of megumi's hoodie and the boy glares at him. he's got the other hand around tsumiki's arm, keeping her in place as she tries to escape. 

satoru smirks back at the boy, and then he scoops tsumiki up, letting her climb across his back, in a makeshift piggyback. he taps her legs. “good?” he asks, but she only nods, not bothering to protest that she can walk, yawning again and then resting her head on his shoulder. 

it takes you a moment, but megumi doesn’t complain when you pick him up as well—because he’s started swaying at this point—and he wraps his legs around your waist, settling into your hold with your arms around him. 

his eyes close, and satoru feels a bit jealous for a single second. he looks so content. 

if only he was small enough to fit in your arms like that. 

satoru steps beside you, giving you a look. “you got him?” 

“i went to the same school as you,” you remark and begin to walk towards the entrance. "and just so you know, this is your fault." 

"how is it my fault? i was just following directions." 

"and getting them both high on sugar." 

satoru's lip twitches. "they were hungry." 

you roll your eyes, but your shoulder still brushes his as you walk. satoru's feet hurt, but he doesn't say a thing. 

it takes you both a minute to find it—the real maze is this entire thing—but eventually, you’re walking through the gates, trying to remember where you parked the car. 

the two of you walk around, exchanging brief comments and secretive smiles. if anyone's high here, he thinks, watching you smile at him for the fifth time, it's you. 

you're high on the adrenaline of nostalgia. the sort of memory that satoru knows he won't ever experience; not that he really minds living vicariously through you--he'd like to experience everything through your eyes. 

still, he doesn't fail to smile back every time, a bit sick from the delight exuding from you. 

as soon as you get to the car, the two of you quickly strap the kids in, satoru leaving a kiss on tsumiki's cheek as she clings to his shirt. it takes a moment, but he's gentle as he pries her hands away from him. 

a moment later, as soon as he's sat in the passenger side, she's already snoring. 

he laughs, smiling back at both of them adoringly. megumi is slumped to the side, sleeping as only an exhausted child can be, and he doesn't even notice when satoru reaches back to squeeze his leg affectionately. 

you look at satoru helplessly. 

"guess they didn't need a bedtime story," he says, shrugging. one of them murmurs something in their sleep and you grin at him again, starting the car. 

he'll have to buy tickets again soon, satoru thinks, just so you'll just keep smiling at him like that. 

*

next part | series masterlist

[hunnieknight]

"Something on My Neck?"(+Art)

Genshin women various reaction on the hickey you left on them.

Established relationship, morning-after, ooohh women, ooohhh dominant women, you probably got soul sucked so hard you can't get out from the bed, implied submissive reader

Note : I only include characters that i think are (head)canonly adult/implied to be at least above 18

------------........------------

"Yeah, and?"

Unbothered and no attempt at covering at all. They have no shame,aren't they? NOPE! You are theirs,they are yours! So why would they be shy about it? It is just a sign of you both love each other so much. They are taken and in a very happy-loving relationship! A love thropy on their neck.

Huh?it's too much? They should've seen the state of your body after they finished with you

Not like they would share that special view!

Beidou, Shenhe (she is more likely not understanding that hickey is embarassing) , Raiden Shogun, Lisa

"Oh?A mark?Oh well"

There is an attempt, just a faint concealer or pull up the collar of their shirt. They still have dignity and wants to save yours too. They could imagine the color of your face if you realize people could see the hick-

Huh?oh...people already seen it? oh..well,whose business is that?

Ningguang, Candance, Raiden Ei, Rosaria, Shinobu

"Please ignore it"

Going all out hiding it; heavy concealer, that spoon trick, massaging it, putting their hair in certain way, and ended up using turtle neck or scarf or something. They have people to meet and reputation to keep, so it is unecessary to bring their attention to their love-making sign. Ahh..now they gotta answer why is their neck covered..It is so obvious too, they will go red and sweat drop anytime someone asks.

Maybe next time they will only allow you mark somewhere else

Dehya, Ganyu, Jean, Ayaka, Mona, Sara, Yoimiya, Eula, Keqing

"Ah yes,i had a great night"

How tf they are able to hide those blue and red bruises on their neck???you were pretty sure you basically devoured them last night. No way any make up able to hide it, is it the vision????

Anyway, they are professional and wants to keep what happened last night in the bedroom stays in the bedroom, including your marks.

Oh you think they will share how to hide it?

Hmm...naahh..it is more fun to see you struggling with the marks they left on you. You do you~

Yae, Faruzan, Yanfei, Nilou, Kokomi, Layla (with the help of her other personality)

[vashs-turtleneck]

Say my name.

Rating: EXPLICIT (18+ ONLY) Summary: After your heartfelt reunion with your boyfriend, Vash realizes how much he's missed hearing you say his name. Pairing: Eriks!Vash x fem!reader Word count: 6.5k Content: smut, angst, established relationship, oral, p in v sex, reunion sex, very service top Vash A/N: bro this took me so long. I put more effort into this than anything else I have ever written. Anyway, this is my first ever smut fic so uh please enjoy (had to make it eriks because he does things to my brain chemistry)

NSFW below, 18+ only, minors do not interact!

Vash holds your hand through the rickety, quaint house, helping guide you as you walk, avoiding the floorboards he knows creak louder than the others. As much as Granny and Lina adore you, he didn't feel like explaining why he was sneaking you in so late at night. Not only that, he didn't want to explain your relationship to them just yet. After all, the two of you haven't even gotten the chance to properly talk yet, about what your reunion after his two year absence means for you both.

Vash finally guides you into his little bedroom, quietly shutting and locking the door behind you two. He cringes at the how the door hinges creak loudly into the hallway, hoping it wasn't enough to wake anyone.

"So 'Eriks', huh? Did you pick the name all by yourself?" You tease him as your eyes dart around the room, taking in the space your lover has been living in these passed two years. Or... he was your lover. Is he still your lover? For all you know he found someone else during his time here. No, wait, that can't be right. He just snuck you into his bedroom.

Vash chuckles quietly, his gaze never leaving you. "Yeah... guess I did."

You can feel his eyes burrowing into you. His gaze follows you as you curiously take in the room, as you pat the bed draped in old linens, as you look out the window, taking in the scenery, the stars and moons illuminating the sky above. You've always had a tendency to look up at the sky.

God, you're as beautiful as he remembers.

He's pulled out of his own thoughts when you speak again, realizing he's been staring at you the whole time.

"Nice little spot you have all to yourself. Sheryl and Lina are both so sweet. They really do love you, I can tell. They're like family now, hm?" You say as your eyes finally meet his, your voice remaining soft, yet a hint of somberness weaving its way in. "You... You have a good life here."

You feel your heart start to beat faster, your head filling with a million questions that you're almost too scared to know the answers to. What if there was no room for you in his life anymore? What if he wanted to leave everything about his old self in the past, including you? What if, what if, what if...

You start to absentmindedly pick at the skin around your nails and rubbing your palms, subconsciously trying to calm and ground yourself. You're starting to lose yourself to your own mind, horrible thoughts filling your head like a poison.

Vash immediately notices the change in your tone, the subtle, shaky uncertainty in your voice, the way you anxiously play with your hands... Old habits die hard, huh?

"I do. The people here have been very kind to me. It's mostly quiet, apart from when I get myself into trouble. I'm grateful every day for it."

He takes a step towards you, his arms outstretched slightly.

"But, my life here is... incomplete without you by my side, mayfly."

He wants to hold you, feel your body against his, remind himself that you're really here, but he hesitates. What if you despise him for abandoning you? For leaving you behind to think he was dead? Worse, what if you hate him for the sins he's committed? For destroying July and taking the lives of its people? Not that he could ever blame you if you did. He hates himself for it. It's the whole reason he left you behind in the first place. How could he ever face you again after he became the walking demon with the 60 billion double dollar bounty on his head? He deserves every bit of venom spat his way for the things he's done, every bit of the nickname 'The Humanoid Typhoon'.

Yet, despite how much he knows he doesn't deserve you, he wants you so bad. Every moment without you had been agony. He didn't know where you were, how you were doing, if you were even alive. Hell, he wondered if he killed you in July too. So when he finally saw your face again, he swears he felt his heart beat for the first time in two years.

"Mayfly, I... I don't deserve you. I don't. I'm a monster." He takes another step towards you, trying to bridge the gap between you both. "...but I can't live without you. I... I need you. Here. With me."

He's fighting back tears, trying desperately to keep himself together. His vision is blurring from the tears pooling in his eyes, and all he can see is your wide-eyed expression. You're so beautiful, even if you might be about to break his heart.

"If you don't feel the same, I understand. If you want to hit me and yell at me for all I've done, I won't put up a fight. If... If you hate me-" Vash's words are cut short when you rush towards him and plant your lips against his in a feverish kiss, throwing your arms around his shoulders and clinging to him desperately.

Vash stays motionless and rigid in a moment of shock before he's flooded with relief at the feeling of your lips, your body, just you. His prosthetic naturally encircles your waist, pulling you in closer as his flesh hand tenderly cups your cheek, tilting your head to meet his lips with a practiced touch that makes it feels like you were never apart.

You became a shell of a person the day you watched him fall from the sky, like an angel stripped of their wings. You spent the passed two years believing, convincing yourself he had to be alive, or else you would have been lost completely.

With his lips finally pressed to yours, you feel whole again.

Vash can feel your lower lip tremble against his own, your tears mingling with his against both your faces as you each pull the other closer, closer, until there's no space left between your bodies, his stubble scratching your chin.

Your lips meet again and again, each kiss more desperate than the last, pants and sobs and the sounds of lips smacking filling the otherwise dead silent room.

"I missed you." You breathe against his lips, voice cracking from the overwhelming feelings of relief, love, and pain flooding you.

And Vash whines in turn, prosthetic tightening its grip around you.

"I missed you too. So much. Every day I thought about you." He whispers back, his voice strained, flesh hand pulling your face closer by the back of your neck. "I love you, I love you, I missed you."

"Love you too. Missed you so much..." Your voice comes out as a sob, trembling and broken. Your hands tangle into his soft locks. His hair is much longer now, the golden blonde mixing with dark raven.

You feel his tongue tease your lower lip, the warm muscle begging for entry, and you're happy to grant it. When your tongues entangle, he feels himself shudder with want, his body heating up as he gets reacquainted with the taste of your mouth. His hands move down your body, sliding down your waist, past your hips, and hooking themselves beneath the plush of your thighs. He lifts you up with ease, encircling your legs around his waist.

It's not close enough. He needs you closer.

He carries you to the edge of his bed, gently lowering you and as he towers over you, broad shoulders caging you in beneath him. He pulls himself from your lips and holds his weight on his hands, palms against the mattress beside your head. His face is flushed, lips wet with your kiss.

Vash is silent as he looks at your face, tears still staining his cheeks, his gaze reverent and adoring, yet filled with tragedy, like he almost doesn't believe you're real. His flesh hand cups your face again. His thumb traces your lips, your cheekbone, your jawline, his palm resting against your cheek. He takes in your features, committing the way your face has changed over the past two years to memory. You have new lines around your eyes, signs of how time kept passing for you, even without him around, signs of aging that he knows you won't see on his face. Fuck, he's lost this precious time with you, years he'll never be able to get back. Gone, just like that.

He'll be damned if he loses anymore time with you.

His hand trails down, thumb sliding along the side of your neck, down to the bit of your collarbone peeking from under your shirt. His breath hitches at the feeling of your soft skin beneath his hands, how your legs stay wrapped around his hips, your arms clinging to his shoulders like a lifeline. He can feel your body heating up at his touch, like it remembers him. He's missed you. He's missed your touch. So much.

"Please, I- I need to see you. Please." He begs, voice already breathless and needy.

"N-Need to see you too. I need you so much." Your voice comes out as a pathetic whine, but at this point you don't care. He's here. You have him again. You need him.

Vash wraps his prosthetic around your waist as he gently lifts your upper body up enough to pull your shirt over your head, tossing it aside. With your shirt finally off, you can feel contrast of his arms on your body, the cool metal of one, and the warmth of the other.

"I missed you. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for leaving you, mayfly. I'm so-"

You stifle his apologies with another hot kiss, your hands weaseling between your bodies and working quickly to take off his white button-up. Your fingers fumble with the buttons until his shirt is open, exposing the scarred muscles beneath. His hands leave you for just long enough to push the fabric off his shoulders. When his shirt is finally off, both his hands move to the back of your neck, pulling you in for another heated kiss, making you both groan into each other's mouths.

Your hands trail along his chest and back, tracing over the myriad of rough, raised flesh. Your touch is gentle, as though you're trying to heal him. He wishes you could. He wishes your touch could take away his 150 years of anguish, only made worse in your absence, and heal this body he's so carelessly destroyed. Yet, he knows he deserves every bit of it for what he's done. If nothing else, at least your touch is a momentary reprieve from it all, a moment for him to just be.

His hips twitch when he feels your hands trail down his chest, over his abdomen, to the hem of his pants, fingers working to undo his belt and buttons, working them off his body.

"M-Mayfly..." Vash mutters, his breath hot against your face. He works the rest of your clothes, practiced hands swiftly unclasping your bra before moving to peel off your pants, tossing the garments somewhere in the room, leaving you both in just your underwear.

Vash gently pushes your shoulders, moving you slowly like you're made of glass and laying you flat against the bed. He sits back on his knees to get a good look at you, propping himself between your thighs, his half-lidded eyes practically glowing as he drinks you in.

You're suddenly filled with this overwhelming shyness as you're laid almost completely bare in front of him. It's been so long since you've been looked at like this, and you can feel the heated rising to your face. Your body has naturally changed since he's last seen you, and the thought that he'll be disappointed weasels its way into your head, flooding you with insecurity. Without thinking about it, your hands move up to cover yourself, draping your arms over your chest and stomach.

Vash's gaze break from your body before darting up, his eyes softening when he sees your blushing and flustered face.

"Oh, sweetheart..." he coos, bringing himself down to pepper your face with soft kisses, stubble grazing your face. "Come on now. Don't hide from me. Please? I want to look at you. I love looking at you." His large hands gently wrap around your wrists, trying to coax you to uncover yourself. "Please. Let me see you. I missed looking at you so much."

Oh, how silly you are to think he'd look at you with anything but pure adoration and worship. He's only ever shown you love and acceptance, just as you have shown him. Vash can't even fathom the idea that you'd see yourself as anything other than breathtakingly perfect. Your body is his place of worship, every sound you make a prayer.

So, with a quiet whine, you let him pull your arms from your body, his hands gently pinning your wrists next to your head flat against the mattress.

"There you are..." Vash whispers adoringly, pressing a chaste kiss to the tip of your nose before leaning back again to look down at you.

He takes in the sight of you beneath him for the first time in two years, his hands letting go of your wrists and tracing up and down your curves slowly, savoring the feeling of your warm and soft flesh. The world hasn't been kind to you in his absence, your body baring new scars he knows weren't there before, and he hopes to God you didn't get all those looking for him, sacrificing yourself for his unworthy soul.

"So beautiful, mayfly." Vash purrs. His hands trail up your middle, up your sternum, before parting to grope your breasts, thumbs rolling over the perked buds. The act sends a wave of heat straight down between your legs, your hips involuntarily writhing against the bed. In turn, your reaction makes Vash suck in a breath, his hips gently grinding against the plush of your thigh, letting you feel his hardened cock.

You both need this. Badly.

"Mmph- you like that, huh, baby? That feel good?" Vash whispers, voice hoarse with desire as he circles his thumbs over your nipples again, this time rolling his hips right against your clothed sex.

You howl at the pleasure, hips bucking to meet his own. You bite your lower lip to muffle your cries, nodding your head up at your lover. "M-Mhmm!"

With a lewd grunt, Vash brings his head down, pressing his lips to your inviting body. He sucks on your neck, nibbling and licking slowly and sensually, finding the spots he remembers would make your breath hitch, your back arch, and your grip tighten around him. He lets out a deep groan against your neck when you react the way you used to, your voice pitching up to a needy, wanton moan when he sucks on your neck just right. You tangle your fingers in his hair as shivers dance up your spine, rolling your hips up against his.

He leaves a trail of kisses along your form, giving special attention to any scars he comes across along the way, just as you had done for him countless times before. His lips reach your chest, kissing along your sternum before moving his mouth to one of your breasts, his skillful lips enveloping your perked nipple, tongue circling the peak. His hand moves up to massage your other breast, kneading the soft flesh in his palm.

And you can only do what your body tells you to, your voice quivering into what only comes so naturally to you when he's worshipping your body like this.

"Vash." His name leaves your lips as a broken moan, but they hit him like a typhoon, shattering him to pieces.

Vash's body tenses, all his actions pausing as his lips part from your nipple with a quiet smack, his hot, ragged breaths against the wet skin of your breast. He tilts his head up, bringing his face closer to yours, letting your noses brush and his forehead press intimately against yours. His beautiful baby blues drink you in, eyes upturned into a longing, pleading stare. His eyes captivate you, trapping you under his gaze. From this close, you feel like you could drown in them.

"Please... Say it again." His voice is raw, fragile, and begging.

You have to blink yourself out of your trance, completely ensnared by him. Even though he's the one begging you right now, with that look on his face, you'd do anything he asked. So, without hesitation, you say it again.

"Vash."

And he whimpers.

A name he hasn't heard in two years, lost to his new life. A name that, despite the heavy weight it carries now, was gifted to him by someone very important. A name that has always rolled of your tongue with a softness he never felt he deserved, that he used to hear you cry out over and over when your voice was pulled taut with pleasure. His name.

He didn't realize how much he missed hearing it, and especially how it sounds leaving your lovely lips.

"Again. Please."

"Vash."

"One more time. I beg you."

"Vash."

Vash groans again, his eyes fluttering before pressing his lips to yours again, catching your bottom lip between his teeth as he pulls away.

"Mmph... Fuck, mayfly. The things you do to me."

His lips capture yours in a hot, wet kiss, tongues tangling, his hips undulating against yours and seeking out that little bit of friction between your bodies. He can feel the heat coming off your core against his hard cock, and his mouth waters as he thinks about how wet you must be right now.

"Need to taste you, mayfly."

Vash pulls back before he stands up between your legs and pulls you by your hips to the edge of the bed, grinding himself against your thigh again. His fingers hook to the elastic of your panties, his eyes not missing the wet spot forming on them already before meeting your gaze again. "Let me take these off you, baby."

And fuck, you are absolutely reeling right now, barely able to form a thought as he continues to handle your body with so much care and deadly precision, like he know it better than you. And really, he does. Despite the time you two have spent apart, his confidence in his knowledge of your body and his desire to please you is naturally weaving its way back into his mind like it's pure instinct. You can't tear your eyes from him as he stares down at you with the darkened, hungry eyes of a man that looks like he's just found his first sip of water in days on No Man's Land.

He tilts his head as you stare at him silently, taking in your half-lidded, hazy eyes. His fingers unhook from your panties, palms resting against your thighs.

"Mayfly? Do you want me to? I won't do it unless you tell me to."

You whimper needily, shifting your hips back and forth, unintentionally teasing him as your body begs for more of him.

"Please. Please, Vash. I need you to touch me." You beg, your voice shaking. You need him right now, both body and mind begging him to do something, anything to ease the ache between your thighs.

With a smirk that flashes his sharp canines and sends another shivering wave of heat to your core, Vash swiftly pulls your panties down your legs, letting them drop to the floor.

With you completely exposed to him now, Vash hooks his hands under your thighs, pressing your legs up and opening you up to himself, spreading you out on the mattress before him and watching as your slick drips from your sex as he practically folds you in half.

"Breathtaking." He purrs, staring down at your sweet flesh. "And so wet already."

"It's... It's because of you." You say back, your voice a pathetic, high-pitched whimper, feeling yourself pulse with anticipation.

Vash chuckles breathily, his eyes never leaving your sopping cunt as he lowers himself to his knees, propping himself between your thighs.

"I know it is."

With a soft sigh, Vash presses his tongue against your cunt, taking his time as his licks his way from your dripping entrance all the way up to your clit, gathering your sweet juices on the flat of his tongue with an audible eagerness. His mouth presses a fiery kiss to your clit, his lips wrapping around your little sensitive bud as his tongue flicks it with a skillful precision that is downright deadly, like it's all muscle memory coming back to him in this moment, as though his place in this world is right here between your thighs.

For Vash, you truly are an oasis on this desolate planet. In a life that's been so lonely and so filled with tragedy, you have been a solace that he never felt he deserved, yet he selfishly let himself indulge in. After being by his lonesome for so long, how could he ever turn away from your open arms? You unconditionally loved and accepted his broken mind and tattered body, and he was never able to deny your affections, no matter how much he told himself he didn't deserve them.

You are the only piece of heaven he's ever had.

"Mmmh... Taste so good, angel." He coos against your sex, licking his lips of your slick before tonguing another stripe up your cunt. "It's been too long. I'm absolutely parched for you, baby."

"Oh fuck, Vash!" You gasp out, your hands moving to tangle through his two-toned hair, holding it back and away from his face. You can feel his stubble grazing your plush folds as he eats you.

"Say it again, mayfly." He mutters against your cunt, the vibrations from his voice sending shocks of pleasure coursing through you.

Your mind is a pleasure-filled haze. You're barely able to think as your lover positively devours you, gorging himself on your dripping sex like it's more for his own pleasure than it is for yours.

"Ahh... w-wha-?" You manage to mumble, barely understandable.

His head pops up from between your thighs, hungry baby blues staring back up at you.

"My name. Say my name again for me, angel. Please."

"V-Vash..."

He growls as he dives back down to your cunt, his tongue teasing your entrance as his nose presses against your clit.

"Say it softer. Please."

"Vash..."

"Say it louder."

"Vash!"

His hips rut against the mattress as he pleasures you, pathetically rubbing his still-clothed cock against the old linen in tandem with his mouth. He can feel his boxer-briefs soaking up the pre-cum from his engorged tip. His body is aching for you, but he'll be damned if he doesn't make you come on his tongue at least once before he fucks you. He needs to taste you as you come.

His right hand slowly trails up the soft meat of your thigh, fingers dancing along your hot skin until they reach your pulsing flesh, swirling his fingers over your wet heat. Then, he gently presses his middle finger inside you, the long digit curling and pressing against your warm walls, gently stretching you as he takes you apart from the inside out.

You have to throw your hand over your mouth to keep yourself from crying out in white hot pleasure, hips undulating against his mouth and hand, seeking out more of the pleasure he's giving you.

"This okay, mayfly? Feeling good?" Vash whispers before circling his tongue over your clit again.

You don't trust yourself to speak right now, instead nodding your head frantically as you moan and wail silently against your hand.

Vash groans hoarsly when he sees just how well he's taking you apart, eyes fluttering closed as he focuses entirely on your pleasure. When he feels your body relax around his finger, he slips in a second digit, his dexterous middle and ring fingers meticulously and lovingly abusing that sweet spot inside you until he has you seeing stars behind your eyelids.

Your hand gently tugs at his hair, biting into your palm and clenching your eyes tight, your thighs trembling against his head. You pull your hand away from your lips just long enough to call out to him, your voice breaking, your body ready burst, "Vash! M' gonna c-come..."

He growls against you when he hears his name leave your sweet lips in a such desperate tone, tongue lapping away at you more eagerly, your juices dripping from his hand.

"Yes, baby. Come. Come all over my tongue. Wanna taste you..." he grunts, panting as he fucks you with his tongue and fingers and grinds himself against the mattress. Fuck, he's gonna come all over himself if he doesn't reel it back.

His mouth devours you, digits pumping faster into your fluttering cunt as he chases your high.

When Vash feels your body tighten and convulse against his fingers, your sweet whimpers filling his ears, he moans louder than you, as if your pleasure is his pleasure, and it takes every bit of willpower in him to not come along with you.

Vash has always denied himself the pleasures in life, deeming himself unworthy for the sins he believes he's committed. But when it comes to you, to your pleasure, he's always eager to let himself indulge, his tongue lapping away at your sex like your come is a reward for his efforts until his mouth is dripping with you.

When he feels your body relax, your muscles unflexing, he licks one last strip over your cunt before pulling his mouth and fingers away. He licks your sweet cream from his digits, his other hand removing the boxers that have grown unbearably tight from his lower half. Slowly, almost like he's reluctant to leave his place from between your thighs, he raises himself up and towers over you again.

"You're so perfect, angel." He whispers, voice hoarse with desire, and you can see his need from the way his cock twitches as he stares down at you, his big hands holding you by the softness of your thighs. He brings his pelvis forward, gliding the hard length of himself along your dripping pussy, coating himself with a mix of your come and his own saliva.

"Vaaash~" You call to him weakly, your head still fogged from your intense orgasm, but your body craving him. Your hips rise to meet his own, and he grinds against you more desperately.

"You want this, angel? Wanna feel me inside you?" His tone is breathy and light, almost teasing, but you know more than well enough that what he's seeking right now above all else is your consent. How you got so lucky as to find yourself such a caring and thoughtful man (plant) is beyond you.

"Want it more than anything, angel." You purr back, using the loving nickname he's given you back at him as your hands reach for his shoulders. Because let's be honest, if anyone is deserving of the nickname, it's him.

A soft smile crosses his face when he sees you reach for him and, like a moth to a flame, he leans down towards your touch. One of your hands clasp over his shoulder, gripping him and pulling him closer to you. The other traces your thumb over his cheekbone, your finger dancing over that adorable birthmark under his left eye.

"Don’t go stealing my words now, mayfly." He teases back before his lips cover yours. When he pulls away, you feel him pant against your face, his body shaking and his cock gliding over you folds. Despite how much he's been holding back, putting your pleasure far before his own, you can feel now just how badly he wants this. He's at his limit.

Still, a pang of concern crosses over his handsome features, always thinking of you despite the agony he's in right now.

"If... If it hurts, I want you to tell me. Tell me and I'll sto-" You shush him before he can keep going, your thumb quickly moving from his cheekbone to his lips.

"You won't hurt me, Vash." You whisper tenderly, trying to ease the worries undoubtedly forming in that pretty head of his.

Hìs face softens again, his expression changing from one of concern to one that can be described as nothing short of reverent. His eyes might as well be hearts from the amount of love you see in them. With a shaky sigh, he nods his head once, and you move your hand from his face to his other shoulder, holding him tightly against you.

"Alright." He places doting little kisses to your temple and cheek, his hands on your thighs gently parting your legs further. "Let me take care of you, mayfly."

One of his arms weaves its way between your bodies, grasping his cock and aligning himself with your inviting entrance, placing a gentle pressure against your core with the tip of his cock. Vash's gaze never breaks from yours as he slowly sinks himself into your tight heat, the head of his cock splitting you open as he sheaths himself inside you, his mouth falling agape with a mewling whimper as he feels every inch of your sweet warmth.

Your breath hitches as he presses himself inside you slowly, your body taking him inch by sweet inch until he gently bottoms out, your nails digging slightly into his broad shoulders. You can feel him stretching you out on his thick cock, a mixture of the sweet sting and pleasure filling your entire body. You take in deep breaths to calm and relax yourself, your eyes fluttering up at your lover.

You're everything he's ever wanted, everything he's ever needed, everything his soul craves and begs for. He caresses your thigh and whispers between gasping breaths, a sweet smile on his face as your catch your breath, "You're okay, mayfly. Relax. Take your time. Tell me how you feel. I'm here with you, all the way." He coos, peppering your cheeks and neck with soft kisses as he whispers gentle words of praise and encouragement. His expression is one of pure love and adoration, seeing your body relax as you adjusts to his, your walls moulding to his cock, your breath slowly coming back to you.

"A-Ah... I need you to move, Vash. I think I'll explode if you don't move right now." You whine, hips bucking and writhing against his own, begging him to fuck you already.

His adoring smile never falters, chuckling breathily as you beg for him.

Fuck, he's missed feeling needed.

"Well, we wouldn't want that now, would we?" He teases with a shit-eating grin that splits his perfect face. He places a tender kiss between your brows before gazing back down at you.

"Hold on tight now," he purrs against the shell of your ear, tightening his grip on your thigh, his prosthetic palm pressing against the mattress by your head. He's trying so hard to keep himself together, but you can feel his arm shaking from the sheer euphoria as he supports his weight.

Gently, he pistons his hips against yours, his cock gliding along your inner walls at a sweet and tender pace and giving you the chance to adjust to the feeling of him stretching you out. As fogged as his mind is right now in a haze of lust and need, he is still acutely aware of you, and it would break him more than anything if he hurt you.

Vash stares down at where you two connect so intimately, watching how your body engulfs his cock over and over and coats his shaft with your arousal.

"You feel so good, mayfly. Taking me so well, like your body remembers me," Vash praises you sweetly, his face falling to the crook of your neck.

"V-Vash..." you mewl, thighs gripping his waist tighter, cushioning his hips as he pumps you full of himself. "Feels so good. M-More, please. I need you more."

"Of course. I'll give you more," he whispers, his voice dripping with tender affection as his hands move to your thighs, lifting them up and hooking your legs over his shoulders, folding you in half again. You moan wantonly at how deeply he can reach in this position, the head of his cock kissing your cervix.

Vash increases the pace, his thrusts gradually growing more deliberate and quick, pumping into you so deliciously that he wrings out every sweet sound you can make from your throat. He rocks his hips, his muscles tightening and relaxing as he pushes himself all the way in and pulls back out again, letting himself feel every inch of your velvety walls. Every pump of his hips has him pulling himself out to the hilt, leaving just his hot tip inside, giving you no time to breathe before he pushes himself back inside again, fucking you deeper and harder than before. Every time he pulls out, he sees your lips part slightly as you wait for him to ram back inside. And he does, over and over, making both of you moan louder as the room fills with the sounds of skin slapping.

"I love you, I love you! P-Please, please don't leave me behind again. Stay. I need you!" You cry out in rapture, tightening your grip around him and pulling him so his patchwork chest is against yours, your breasts squeezing and bouncing against his pecs.

"I'm here, mayfly. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. I can't- I'd die without you. I love you too much." He grunts against the side of your face, the sound of his labored breaths filling your ears.

He thrusts into you faster and harder now, the withered bed creaking and groaning beneath you both along with the sounds of your pleasured cries.

"Mmm~ Vash... Feels too good. Gonna come. Gonna make me come."

Your words break the last bit of restraint in his lovedrunk mind, grunting loudly against your ear.

"Fuck, say it again. Say it- Say it like you missed me. Like you thought of me every day. The way I thought about you."

"Vash!"

You can feel your body quivering and pulsing around him, and it only makes Vash moan louder, your pussy practically sucking him back in every time he pulls away. He moves a hand from your thigh to thumb at your swollen clit, desperate to feel you come undone around him.

"That's it. That's it! Mmm fuck~ I can feel it. Say it as you come all over me, baby. Please. Please."

Your orgasm hits you like a sandsteamer, your back arching harshly off the bed before you even have the chance to cover your mouth, crying out his name with a melodic and broken moan.

"Va- Vash!"

He's quivering, his grunts and breaths shaky as he feels your pussy clench around his aching cock like your body is trying to milk him for all he's worth.

"Ahh- S' too good... M' gonna c-come, mayfly. Gonna come with you."

Vash bites his bottom lip, trying to stifle the sounds of pure agonizing rapture, only for your name to leave his lips like a beautiful song to the heavens as he spills himself deep inside your heat. His hips stutter as he fills you with his hot come until you feel like you're bursting, hips slowing and gently rocking into you as you both ride out your highs until they gradually come to a stop. He feels his muscles go limp, pressing his weight down on you more than he means to as he collapses against your smaller frame. He covers your temple and cheeks with weak, tired kisses, whispering sweet words of affection until you've both gathered your minds a bit more.

"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you." He chants over and over again with every breath like a prayer, eyes closed, relishing the feeling of euphoria filling his body.

He stays inside you well after you've both come down for your climaxes, cockwarming you on his thick shaft like he can't bare the thought of ever being separated from you again. But when he feels his cock softening, he carefully pulls out of you with an almost pained groan, disappointed at the loss of your warmth but his body completely satisfied and drained regardless. When he sits back on his knees and sees his seed spilling from your dripping hole, he groans, cursing under his breath. The sight is enough to get him hard all over again.

_________________________

After a night full of round after round of hot and passionate lovemaking, your exhausted bodies lay beside each other. The sheets are wet and tangled, your bodies slick with a mix of your arousals, but you're both far too content and tired to care about the mess right now, enveloped in each other's embrace.

"Mmh... bed's comfy. I see why you like it here," You coo against his head, his hair tickling your nose.

"Having a bed to sleep in has definitely been nice. Beats sleeping out in the desert," He mumbles and pulls you in closer to himself, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck, his stubble scratching at your skin.

"But this bed might as well be a bed of sand if I can't sleep in it with you, mayfly."

"Always such a smooth talker," you chuckle at him. Then, your smile turns to a look of reluctance as you gently raise your head. "But I should probably go, huh? Don't wanna explain to Granny and Lina what I was doing here in the morning."

"Well, you were doing me." Vash snickers back at you, eyebrows wiggling teasingly.

"You're hilarious," you scoff with a deadpan stare, but you can't help the little amused smirk forming on your lips, "I'm glad to see your sense of humor hasn't gone anywhere."

He chuckles against the hollow of your throat, his lips ghosting over your skin.

"I know, I know. It's just one of my many charms."

"You won't need to say anything to them. I'll do all the explaining for you." His grip tightens around your waist, any thoughts of leaving the bed vanishing from your mind. How could you leave after everything that's happened? After you've both finally found your ways back to each other?

"Besides, they might already know you're here. We weren't exactly... uh, quiet." He chuckles nervously, and you can feel his face heating up as he thinks about just how much noise the two of you were making. You feel your own face heat up too. Yeah, the morning's gonna be a bit awkward.

Vash grips you tighter, his warm body flush against yours, clinging to you.

"Stay, mayfly. I need you."

Your body settles back into the bed, cuddling yourself up against the man you love most, and the world feels a little brighter.

"I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

[kthecutest]

can u write ways that &team members being (kinda overly) protective of their s/o? thanks!!

✧˚ &team members being overprotective of you ༊*·˚

Pairing ➳ &Team members x gn!reader Genre ➳ Fluff ₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎ A/N ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ Brain block wasn't wearing off for so long (╥ᆺ╥；)and this came out way longer than I thought cuz I got carried away; as usual ( ≖‿ ≖ ). Anyways hope you'll enjoy it!

✧•——————•°•✧•°•——————•✧

K : It’s been almost forever, catching up to the latest updates with your old highschool classmate. The hot coffee in your hand already loosing its initial heat, you were completely distracted in the chaotic chatter, and had forgotten that you two weren’t the only ones there. A set of dull piercing eyes were set tightly on your distracted figure and it wasn’t long before you felt an aggressive grasp on your snatched waist, turning to the side to check the situation in a surprised state. “Ah? Seems like you guys have a lot to discuss on… hopefully I weren’t much of an interruption.. right honey..~?” a soft tone spoken, anger and possessiveness dripping straight through each letter. Just that alone was enough to send out a warning to you; he’s jealous. The morning coffee cup in his hand is now being squeezed tight to the point the liquid was starting to seep out the lid. “oh babe um.. you’re done getting the coffee? Sorry I’m afraid I must take my leave now, Nicho” you quickly answered him while excusing yourself from your conversation mate trying to make best of the situation. Nicholas, your chatmate caught up to the situation fast, giving you a nod as a goodbye as he watched you both walked away with a slight stinging stare in his narrowed eyes, almost summoning invisible daggers at K’s direction.

Thankfully, you succeeded in separating you and K from Nicho but your sigh of relief was shortly interrupted by a loud thud as you were pinned to the wall of the alleyway, a tall strong figure towering above you.

“So.. finally done running that mouth honey~?”

Fuma : The radient purple and blue dwelled on the sky canvas as nighttime falls. You were pretty bored but was also filled with a spring of energy hence why you dragged your boyfriend, Fuma all the way to the night bar with you. The original plan was to simply hang out on your seats alone with glasses of red wine in each hand and sharing kisses but it was all rudely interrupted when a sudden ‘hello’ popped out from behind you. “Ah! Euijoo..? Long time no see!” You instantly got up from your seat giving him a warm hug which he quickly reciprocated, earning a slight glare from the man beside you two. “Didn’t knew you would show up in a place like this”, you teased the young boy in front of you. Euijoo always had a pure innocent look to him. He seemed like the type of guy who have never even held a girl’s hand let alone date one and he sure is definitely not the guy to show up at a bar. “Haha I just saw you through the glass pane so I wanted to come in and join you” Somehow this statement seemed to have only pissed your already fuming boyfriend off. He came here specifically just to see you? Hell no not on my watch. You felt a hand snaked right around your waist as you felt a figure shift closer to you. “Dear~, it’s pretty late already.. maybe we should head back what do you say?” You didn’t think much of it since Fuma wasn’t a type to be jealous anyways but you only took his words as him being caring. “Sorry Euijoo, maybe we can arrange a day where we can talk properly?” “Sure! I’ll see ya soon!” You waved goodbye to the sweet boy as Fuma dragged you out of the bar in a very unusual almost aggressive manner.

The car was steadily parked in front of the apartment block as feet and shoes clashed in the door way. Your breath was directed right at Fuma’s exposed neck as he unraveled his tie. His muscular arms trapping you in between while your back stuck to the wall.

“You’re testing my patience way too much love~”

Nicholas : You were seated cozily between the two taller boys, under a warm sky blue blanket as a horror movie played on the screen in front. The couch kept constantly swinging from the motions of your best friend K jumping and twitching at every jumpscare. “Seriously K, that was a really expected one you know” “Oh c’monnn! The face was still pretty scary though!” he defended back as he clinged onto you. “Oi you’re heavy c’mon get off” K was about to make another whiny remark when he felt the pressure of a strong hand gripping onto his. “You’re gonna end up giving her a muscle strain” a low voice followed by a chuckle arose from behind you. Still the teasing chuckle did not help on hiding the irritation in your boyfriend’s voice. The grip around K’s hand kept tightening until he finally caught up to his irritation as he let go of your shoulder, the grip weakening.

You three practically just coughed awkwardly and played it off as the movie kept advancing. It’s just been a few minutes until you felt a hand of someone on your thigh. The cold rings on the fingers sent tingles down your skin but before you could try to rule out the person, you felt a low breathy voice in your right ear.

“Don’t you think you’re getting too close to your dear best friend, babygirl?”

Euijoo : “Yah! That’s cheating you can’t cross that area!” you screamed your hands set on the game controller moving your fingers on the keys in a swift pace. “Oops, sorry~ well you gotta learn how to work around the rules, you should learn from me” a prideful voice arose from the towering figure sat beside you. “Excuse me?!” It wasn't long until you started tickling him as he reciprocated the action. Fuma is one of your boyfriend’s close friend that he introduced to you since you two started dating. And well you’re a pretty outgoing person so it didn’t take long for you to get comfortable with Fuma in a brotherly way of course. You guys always bricker and share a lot of physical contact which you believed your boyfriend, Euijoo would not mind at all. He’s always been sweet and understanding and definitely is the furthest thing from being jealous or possessive. Well that’s what you thought until you felt a hand stop the bickering between you and Fuma, as the hand grabbed you gently but swiftly away from him. “Alright guys enough play fighting” the sweet voice of your boyfriend was heard loud and clear behind your ear and throughout the room.

You and Fuma just went silent with a pout on each of your faces. The boy sticked his tongue out your way as he turned his head back towards the screen to return back to gaming and you still a bit pissed off at the taunt, planned to do the same until you felt Euijoo’s whisper in your ear.

“Baby.. you shouldn’t keep testing my patience like this..~”

Yuma : Even though your cat-like boyfriend could be quite chaotic most of the time but he sure does put all his effort into planning dates for you two. Except this time things didn’t went as expected. Your best friend had somewhere to be at immediately. This led to her basically yeeting her younger brother Jo right at your doorstep telling you to keep him accompanied for the time being. It’s not that Jo was a 1 year old child or anything, he’s pretty much almost 20 and a full grown adult. But he had a pretty overprotective sister who would either keep him with her or leave him to someone she entrusts so the age card didn’t really helped. And now here he was tagging along on you and your boyfriend’s well-planned date. Not that you mind it, you pretty much just noted it as a three-people hangout. He was pretty quiet and just listened to whatever you and Yuma had to say. He’s pretty much like a cute clueless little kid following you two but that same thought didn’t seep through Yuma’s head. Not that Yuma was making a big scene out of it all neither was he fuming from the head or something. But he sure was being a pouty clingy kitty.

And it wasn’t long until you felt his body heat on your back pressed up against you. You could see Jo being distracted by some kind of treat and you were glad he was. You felt a hand on your waist and fluffy hair sneaked cozily on the side of your neck.

“Hmph.. love~ you’ll need to pay me back with cuddles when we get back home~”

Jo : The gleaming sun was already up and high in the sky. You turned to your side to check the alarm as it read 10:02am. As usual you made your way downstairs, sprinting straight to your tall boyfriend standing in the hallway with a bowl of Japanese white rice in his hands, hugging him in a whiff as he stumbled back from your sudden force. “Baby! I’m hungryyy~” you opened your mouth expecting him to be sweet enough to feed you some of his rice. Instead you opened your eyes to witness him putting the spoon in his own mouth as a cheeky smug formed across his face. Your boyfriend is the most caring one in the world but food is an exception. He’s too much of a foodie to even share which didn’t really ticked you off but still always earned a pout from you. “Hehe no worries~ your savior is here!” you heard a cute energetic tone sprang behind you as well as the wrinkling of the plastic bags containing milk buns. “Yay! You’re the best!” you whined, hugging your friend Harua instantly earning a surprised yelp from him.

That’s when you felt a sudden pull from behind as your back was glued to Jo’s chest in just a few seconds before you tasted the white rice in your mouth. Jo was tilting the spoon into your mouth with fixed cold eyes on Harua. The eyes that seem unphased but also a bit irritated in the same sense.

“No need. She prefers rice for breakfast.”

Harua : Today was supposed to be the perfect food date for you and Harua; but things did not turned out as planned when you two decided to check out a dango stall around the corner.

Harua, your sweet boyfriend, is really keen on sweets and snacks so are you. Finally, you two came up with a plan that the very next date should be at a food market where dim lit snack stalls stand in a long line of queue awaiting for visitors. And as planned, the very next Sunday you both were at the location running left and right, an assortment of dishes sprawled out on each stall. Seeing the tri-colored dango stand on the other side of the line, the two can’t help but sprint right to there. “Hello! Can I have this, and this and that.. and-“ the orders were shortly paused when you caught a glimpse of the boy in front packing up the dango orders. “Taki!?” “Oh hey! Finally noticed me missy? Didn’t knew you would forget me that easily oh my” as dramatic as ever. “Haha jk! Anyways yea I’m just working parttime in the stall here for now, maybe you wanna grab a drink or two after work hours?” You smiled, a ‘yes’ about to leave your lips before you felt your boyfriend’s gentle hand on yours.

“Sorry, her evening is occupied.”

Taki : Woo hoo! Amusement park with Taki! Nothing could compare to how fun that would be. Until you were proven wrong.

You two ended up running into your boyfriend’s older brother, K. You were now convinced this date which has just turned into a hangout is gonna be even more fun! I mean who wouldn’t have fun with such a funny chaotic playful K in the equation. But that same formula doesn’t apply to your boyfriend because an obvious shade formed on his face as soon as K popped up. Before you realized your feelings for your best friend Taki, you had a deep crush on none other than his brother K. Not that you had confessed or anything, but you simply moved on later onwards and you obviously did not take account or take notice that little Taki would be a bit possessive and careful about that past statement. But Taki knew about it all and he is infact not as friendly about it as you thought. And now things turn for worse when you’re smiling and giggling, having way too much fun with K at YOUR DATE WITH TAKI. He’s definitely fuming. “Taki? Baby you’re awfully quiet. Something wrong?” you finally took notice of his absurd change in behavior. Him not wanting to ruin the day and the vibes; “Yea yea, just maybe the heat is getting to me” Obviously, Taki’s lie did not get past you but before you could even reply to his excuse, you felt yourself get dragged in a whip right into one of the capsules of the ferris wheel.

“Finally noticed me now huh?”

Maki : You never took Maki as the type to be a jealous person especially because he is always such a gentleman. The only image of him that filled your head was gentle, sweet, understanding and definitely the furthest thing away from the words possessive or jealous.

But it seems you didn’t know him well enough or he’s just too good at hiding it; he couldn’t hide it no more though, specifically when his older cousin, Nicholas paid a visit to you two. Just a simple helper who came to help out you two in your cooking session right? Except that the helper himself is a flirt; which was not helping the situation out at all. Nicholas unlike his cousin Maki got absolutely NO CHILL, and I’m talking he will rizz you up and flirt with you any chance he got, throwing smirks at Maki’s direction whenever he catches your boyfriend’s death glares. You were cutting up some Chinese cabbage when you felt a hand snaked around your waist. Assuming it was your boyfriend you turned around to find someone else. “Woah Nicho? ..what are you doing?” “Hm? Why? Can’t I just watch from here~?” a smug look on his face. Before you could recover from your shocked state, you were pulled right into a warm chest, far left from Nicho which pushed you to look up.

“No. No you cannot watch.”

[marcsburnerphone]

PLAY DIRTY

(Captain John price x fem! Reader) 

Summary: based on this request 

Warnings: angst, John is a bit harsh, they have sex what can I say? Nova is readers callsign, reader definitley has father issues but it's okay me too, I'm not sure what else let me know if there’s anything more.

4,315 words later

———————

“So how’d you sweet talk me into your task, what did you say?” You questioned gaz as you both walked down the hallway. The 141 was no joke and insanely challenging to get into for the few who did.

“Didn't take much honestly you have awards and medals for your service that can get you at an even higher rank.” He replies honestly. 

“Don’t compliment me.” You laughed and nudged his shoulder as you both turned into the common room. And that’s when your eyes caught sight of him, a 6 foot something hunk of fine.

“Who’s that?” You whisper into your friend's ear pointing with your eyes.

“No way.” He laughs as his eyes follow yours to the one and only captain.

“What?” You questioned.

“That’s captain price, your new captain.” He smiles looking down at you and the way your eyes widen. 

“Why did I think he was older and not as handsome.” Your mind blown he was the captain and you were meant to work for him now. He’s your superior. 

“Because you’ve seen him in the only photo there is of him around and it was ages ago.” Gaz answers.

“Holy shit how are you not fucking your captain.” You say as you move closer to him clearly in view as you both head to approach him. 

“Maybe because he’s a man and my captain.” It was an obvious answer. 

“Makes sense.” You shrug your shoulders.

“Captain, this is your new recruit.” You stood proudly next to gaz and stuck your right hand out.

“Nice to meet you captain.” You smiled slyly, giving him your most precious eyes.

“Yeah you too, soldier.” He shook your warm hand firmly giving you a quick glance up and down. 

That’s how it all started, the flirting and your comments that would make his eyebrows raise at your bluntness, the ones that would make him tell himself he’s too old for you, that he’d corrupt your beauty, that he was a man with too much experience in every way. Nothing about his denial towards you ever put you off though it only made you want him more. 

———-

“Hey handsome.” You quip to the much older man as you head into the kitchen on base to make yourself a cup of tea. 

“Hello soldier.” He replies in a very monotone voice.

“Come on, give me more captain.” You kinda joke.

“Soldiers should be in training.” He sighs out turning towards you and leaning his lower back on the counter watching as you lean your head on your hand and give him a sweet smile.

“I was actually just on my way too that.” You laugh nervously and leave feeling accomplished now that you’ve gotten your daily dose of flirting with the man in. 

———

“Him right there.” You say trying not to fully look at him even though ghost and soap are full on staring at the guy even after you said to not be obvious.

“He has a micro penis?” Soap says seeming a little shocked cause he’s not looking at a scrawny soldier no, he’s looking at someone who’s built and tall with facial hair and tattoos, literally the picture of masculinity.

“Guys yes like he’s medically been diagnosed with that condition.” Simon lets a small sigh out which means he’s amused. 

“That’s definitely um something Nova.” Ghost replies as he sips through the straw he’s carefully weaved under his mask.

“Right.” You’ve grown more than comfortable with these men and had no problem on your behalf talking about your sex life,  and anyways they seemed entertained by it.

———

“Wow captain looking awfully good in that uniform.” You smile up at him with your hand above your eyebrow blocking the sun from your gaze.

“Okay you’ve done your diligence now please get back to work.” He has come to the realization that you're not going to relent anytime soon.

You practically skip away after that and join the soldiers in flipping tires through the dirt. 

“She’s beautiful price, why don’t you ever flirt back?” Soap questions the captain bewildered about the opportunity he’s missing out on. 

“Cause she’s much younger than me Johnny I ought to be old enough to be her father.” The captains’ eyes remain on you only a second longer before he walks away.

———

“No new hookups lately nova?” Soap asks as you all sit in the helicopter on your way back from a successful mission.

“No actually.” They all looked slightly stunned, you’ve given them so many stories about the same guys usually  but sometimes different soldiers in the last 8 months but now when the topic came up you were quiet.

“Is there a boyfriend or something?” Gaz question being closest to you he usually knew there was this one guy at least that was let’s say friends with benefits.

“No, I just haven’t been into anyone like that.” You shrug smiling at the look on their faces. 

“Well okay then I guess I’ll tell you about this lady I was with a few nights ago.” Soap goes on to tell the most in depth story of his most recent lay that left you all wanting to jump out of the moving vehicle mid air.

Your cut of sexual interaction didn’t go missed by the captains’ ears also, he wondered what it’d be like to have you as his, sweet yet sexy you. He didn’t let his imagination last too long though before he reminded himself of the hefty age difference between the two of you. 

————-

“Hey guys, hey captain.” You approach the group that’s sitting in the corner of the room giving price those eyes, the ones that say enough without saying anything at all.

What you mistakenly didn’t notice was the general who was sitting in the seat with its back facing you. You cringed inside at the possible lecture you’d be getting later. Regardless it was too late to leave now and forced yourself to sit next to soap.

“Hello general.” You smile politely.

“Well hello Ms.Nova.” He replies giving you the same smile.

Maybe you’d get out of this but you don’t miss the way the generals eyes bounce between you and price or the way prices jaw ticks when he notices it too.

———

When the general leaves you are about to get up and leave till the captain begins to speak.

“Sit down nova.” You squeeze your eyes shut and retake your seat glancing to the nervous eyes of your friend across from you.

“What for?” You say hoping the more oblivious you ask the softer the blow is.

“I’ll make this clear once and once only, I don’t want to be with you, I have no desire towards you and never will. That small comment could’ve put my career in jeopardy. This ends now. Do you understand me, soldier? I am your captain and that is all.” He says with a hint of disgust, you nod your head at his deep merciless tone that made the others in the room turn their heads. 

“Goodnight team.” You leave without another word and in smaller words fucking book it to your room.

Yeah sure you’ve been shot twice, maybe cut a couple of times. You’ve even been beaten bloody by enemies but this hurt was stemming from inside. It was bleeding into your veins and to your eyes that fell out in the form of salty water. 

————

The next day it was obvious you cried, the puffiness under your eyes wasn’t going to relent even with an unbelievably priced eye cream.

So you steer clear of your buddies and go to do dirty work and clean out oil tanks from the military machinery with a team much lower rank than yours.

Later as the day time bled into the night you were starving, you did not miss the work it took to get you where you currently are. But you didn’t want to have dinner with the team so you took a protein bar from the vending machine and settled into your room for the night. 

“You think she’ll show?” Ghost questioned gaz. 

“No he was harsh, she's been into him since she’s seen him.” He cuts the conversation short when the captain sits down in his usual chair next to the couch the boys sat on.

“Anyone seen Nova today?” Soap asks not noticing price sitting in this big chair of betrayal, the same one that got you in trouble.

“Nope.” Gaz awkwardly answered.

 —————

A mission was coming up and there was no way in hell you could miss briefing, you hadn’t really spoken with the boys in a couple of weeks and haven’t sat with them in about a month. 

But it didn’t go unnoticed by anyone that you started talking to a new recruit who was admittedly very handsome. Giving him your million dollar eyes and that soft laugh that price had grown accustomed to only being used on him. Now it was making him grit his teeth hearing you display it for someone else. 

“Hey you.” Soap slides up next to you as you make a cup of tea.

“Hi soap.” You answer shortly but sweetly.

“So what have you been up to, we haven’t talked much and everyone has got boring lives.” You laugh at him and sigh as you stir your sugar in. 

“I've been helping another task with training.” He Hums at your reply.

“Is that where that man is from?” You laugh at his nosy self.

“Yes, if you must know that Is where he’s from.” He looks offended when you say this and it scares you that you’ve ruined yet another thing.

“Of course I must know your my best pal.” You breathe out in relief and sip from your cup. 

“I’ll give you the details once we finish this briefing.” You wink at him and he fist pumps himself with a satisfied “yes”. 

—————

You haven’t seen him in awhile and that isn’t normal especially cause he’s your captain but not once has he questioned your whereabouts. 

You’re all sitting around a table in the usual briefing room, a heavy awkward silence fills the room once he walks inside with those Manila folders. 

“Hello everyone, nice to see you again, soldier.” You give him a small emotionless nod and avert your eyes to the boot that knocked yours under the table. 

You always knew ghost had a little soft spot for you and this was his way of comforting you. 

This felt like the longest fucking briefing of your life. He went on and on and on. For the first time since you’ve met him you wanted to tell him to stop talking. 

“Nova are you paying attention?” Price questions you in a similar tone he used to lecture you.

“Yes.” You say obviously, and it lacks flavor. It lacks that seductive tone and those big doe eyes you give him. 

“Nova you have to understand that just because I set things correctly between us doesn’t mean you have to be this way.” He argues suddenly.

“You're my captain, no more no less you will be treated as such is that understood sir.” You look directly into his deep colored eyes. 

“Watch your tone soldier.” You let out a laugh, not of humor but of disbelief and just shake your head in silence.

“Price we need to finish the um briefing before there’s no more dinner left in the hall.” Ghost interjects what was the start of an argument and steers the conversation back to strictly work.

It ends finally the meeting is called to a finish and once again you're the first one up and out. Soap catches up with you and doesn’t let you forget you owe him details and gaz follows shortly after. It’s ghost that stays behind with price for a moment.

“Why is she being that way?” Price asks ghost as he collects the left behind papers from the table.

“Did you think she’d be the same after you talked to her in the way you did?” It’s an honest question as he looks at the captain.

“All I did was ask her to stop with the comments.” He shrugs as if it was no big deal, as if it was a simple and kindly delivered request.

“No you put a very strong boundary down and now you don’t like it, nova isn’t just our team mate she's our friend and a hell of a good one. You asked her to just be your soldier and rejected her in a cruel way.” Ghost was nothing but respectful to his superior but wasn’t scared to tell the gods' honest truth.

“Hm.” Is all the captain said before shoving the files into a cabinet and walking out.

———-

Himself and Simon met you and the rest of the group down in the dining hall where the three of you had already begun eating.

“So we’re talking and he’s like there’s a bit of green in your eyes, and I’m thrown off guard cause there is but I hadn’t even noticed he was looking me in my-.” You quiet down when the captain takes his seat at the table and shovel some food into your mouth. 

Gaz goes to tell you food can wait till later until he feels the weight that slides in next to him. 

“I’ve changed the schedule, since the mission is up and coming we’re going to do some group training tomorrow.” You roll your eyes to yourself which doesn’t go unnoticed by just about everyone.

“Is there a problem?” He asks you curiously.

“Did I say something?” You look up to your teammates for an answer than to him.

“Soldier, if you don’t like my rules and my ways of being then by all means throw in a form of withdrawal and you will be sent back to your old task.” You take a deep breath and all the boys are begging silently you’ll back down even though they knew if it had been them in your situation they’d throw it all to hell.

“Okay, where can I find a form of withdrawal?” He didn’t expect that one bit, his thoughts stutter as he examines your features for an ounce of bluffing but he comes up empty.

“Let’s settle down.” Soap says completely unwilling to lose you to the grumps’ shitty behavior.

“You know what captain down worry about it I’ll go ask my last superior for one.” You slam your tray on the table when you get up and leave.

“If you liked her you should’ve just told her, hell price she tried with you and it’s only you to blame for how she’s treating you don’t make us all lose her just because you did.” Soap stands up next to leave and decides he will finish this meal in your room with you.

———

“Here you go captain, it’s signed and completely filled out.” You say handing him the fucking god forsaken form he stupidly brought up. 

“No.” He pushes it out of his sight and away. 

“Excuse me?” You're confused, who just says no like that.

“You will stick with this task soldier. We won't let these petty feelings get in the way of the bond you’ve built with my team.” Price demands as he continues to sign documents not sparing you a look.

“No I want out, it's not up to you.” You argue shoving it down onto his desk. 

“Like hell it’s not nova!” He raises abruptly from his chair slamming his hands on the table like a madman. 

“You don’t know what you want captain and I will not be made confused by someone whose job is to make things fucking clear.” Emotion laces your voice and the thought out plan you had before coming in here falls to pieces.

“I want you for Christs sake, is that clear enough now.” He’s too loud for the things he’s saying and you go to shut his office door. 

“What changed hmm all of a sudden you want me after you basically called me unattractive.” You get louder pointing a finger into his chest.

“I never called you-.” 

“Like hell you didn’t, you said you weren’t attracted to me and never would be. What changed?” 

He couldn’t take it,  the spot you stood centimeters away and almost half a foot below him those eyes that were awaiting him for an answer. Before you could process it he  leaned down and smashed his lips into yours letting his rough and calloused finger lift your chin up.

“No.” You push him off of you trying to keep the wall you built up and he backs up like he’s committed a crime. Then you grab him by the gear buckled to his chest and bring him down for another kiss.

He brings his hands beneath your bum and to the back of your thighs to hoist you up around his waist. Your teeth clash and the kiss is hungry. Your soft whimpers seep into his mouth making his pants grow tighter by the second. 

He lays you down on his desk, clearing it of papers by simply wiping an arm over it letting them fall to the floor. His mouth falls to your neck as he explores trying to find what spot makes me squirm. 

“Captain, someone can walk in.” You try to say breathlessly and he rips himself from you and in the quickest second he’s locking the door. 

“Now they can’t.” He says before he’s on you again standing between your legs, dragging your shirt off as if it’s his enemy while he presses his needy bulge into you

He places kisses all over you for all the unspoken words he wanted to say. His hands are working the button of the cargos that always look way too good on you in a dying need to get them off. He swears he unlaced your boots so fast that the pads of his fingers have fabric burn. It’s too much all at once, you're such a sight and he needs to breathe and think but there doesn’t seem to be time for that with the way his body responds to you. 

“Darling, I need just a small taste, is that okay.” It’s more of a forewarning cause before you respond he’s on his knees kissing up your soft legs and pulling your panties down.

He’s never been so hungry, he’s never felt so starved from something in his life. For a man who can get anything he pleases you’re the one thing he swore he wouldn’t let himself have. 

But now the way you're arching into the heat of his mouth with his head between your thighs unashamedly devouring you with lewd noises and grunts he can’t contain, it's hard to believe he’s ever restricted himself of such pleasure.

“Princess, tell me what you want?” He says as your slick is still on his mouth and mustache and goodness is it a sight to see. 

“I’ve been telling you for months it’d be cruel to make me ask again.” You say breathlessly as your first orgasm settles through your body. 

He kisses up your navel and to your swollen mouth leaving the remnants of his effect on you on your lips.

“Please captain.” You’ve never felt so needy. 

“Shhh don’t worry darling it’s yours.” Another day at another time he’d let you beg pretty for him but not now. 

He works himself out of his cargo pants, letting the fabric pool around his ankles. He hasn’t been this hard in years. Never been so utterly turned on and merely desperate for a bit of your attention. He runs his index finger through your folds gathering the slick that basically spills from you to lubricate his cock.

“Sweetheart I’m sorry I ever hurt you.” He admits as he takes in the unbeatable picture of you splayed out for him, cheeks stained a shade of pink and loose hairs framing your perfect face.

“Well isn’t it a good thing you can make it up to me.” He laughs and places a deep kiss to your lips before nudging the tip into you. He’s teasing you, seeing if you’ll push Down or make any movements as it rests where you so desperately want him.

And you do. 

So subtly your hands drag your body a tad but down the desk making him slide a measly 2 inches in out of the seven that are there. You moan sweetly at that, John is a big man and now you know that it’s a universal thing throughout his whole body. 

“Say captain I want to stay in your team and I’ll show this beautiful desperate cunt some mercy.” He says as your eyebrows that were screwed up in pleasure change to ones of a desperate woman.

“Captain, I'll stay in your team gladly forever now please John.” He plunges into you with one swift thrust. You’d almost seen heaven before, more times that you can count but nothing in this moment can compare to the feeling of being absolutely filled by John price. 

His slow and languid thrusts are driving you crazy but by the looks of his face this won’t last long. 

“You’re only driving yourself crazy, captain I’m a patient woman.” He was indeed but he needs to steady himself before this is cut all too short.

He pulls fully out before slamming back into you. Your curves ripple with the movement and he wants to grab every part of you that he can and is disappointed at the fact he was only given two hands to worship such a body.

“My. doll. my. Sweet. Fucking. Girl.” he thrusts with every word. He’s deep. So deep. One of your legs is thrown over his shoulder and the other is held at his waist. Your sweet praises make him feel like a king, a true emperor.

He can feel you approaching another orgasm. The way your hands pull on the gear still attached to his chest pulling him to your lips as you lean up a bit accommodate the left over space. You moan into the kiss and his sweet and steady pace is now nothing short of a masterpiece. He’s got you undone in seconds. Eyes in the back of your head and hands gripping those muscular arms you could just bite. 

“Good, very good.” He follows after, fucking you full of his seed. He can only pray that you’re on the pill. 

He pulls out with a deep gravelly groan and lifts his pants up to buckle ‘em. When he’s done he places a kiss on your ankle grabs a few tissues to clean the mess on your thighs but pushes a finger into your sensitive cunt to stuff his seed back into you and grabs the cargos you came in and shuffles them around your ankles to pull them on. 

“Wait, where are my underwear?” He chuckles deeply as the pink pair you walked in with on are tucked under his vest peeking out slightly. 

“You're a dog, really.” You smile as he brings you up and helps you get your bra and shirt back on. He placed loving kisses on your nose and forehead as an afterglow takes over your features. 

You stand and he hooks his hand beneath your armpits when your knees buckle a bit.

“Don’t let it make you too cocky.” You laugh at the boost that for sure went to his ego and he tilts his head with a smirk.

He lets you go for a second to pick up the papers he dropped and wipes the spot on the desk that your arousal spilled onto with the pair of panties and then retucked them. He whips his around towards you at the sound of his door being unlocked and rushes to relock it.

“Where are you goin?” He questions as you stand there 

hand still hovering over the knob.

“You don’t want me to leave?” The look of shock on your face makes him want to tear through this building and find whatever assholes have let you leave after sex.

“No I don’t want you to fucking leave, you stay inside.” He’s in disbelief as he stares into what has easily become his favorite pair of eyes. 

“Okay I’m sorry.” You feel very vulnerable now under his stare.

“Don’t be.” He says softly as he ushers you to sit on his chair while he finishes picking up the files, quietly cursing himself for being so erratic cause now he’s down on the floor reaching under the cabinet to collect the last of them. 

When he’s done you stand up so he could sit and he does but not without pulling you atop his lap. You sit sideways and rest your head on his shoulder as he rips apart what you originally came in here to turn in and a small smile can’t help but find its way to your sleepy features.

“Sleep my love, I have a long while to go till these are finished.” There was no protest as he leaned back to ensure your comfort. 

To be truthful those files did not get finished cause he spent merely two hours staring at how your quiet snores escaped the smallest gap between your lips. Even when he tried to get them done he simply couldn’t not when you were nuzzling closer to him every time he accidentally removed his hand from your hip nevertheless paperwork could wait. 

His dolls’ comfort came first. 

————-

Not attracted to her my ass📮

Comments and reposts are greatly appreciated <3

Request are open<3 

[cecilxa]

if you'll have me

summary: lyney would share his deepest secrets with you, if only you'd ask

contents: ooc probably (do i care? no. do i love men being down bad? yes.), pining!lyney (he basically is too in love), fluff, gn!reader, pre-relationship

cw: a tiny allusion to violence

recommend listening to: ur so pretty by wasia project

a/n: hehe have some lyney before i disappear again

Being a magician, Lyney is certainly no fool to distractions or tricks. What he can be fooled by, however, is something that he certainly cannot control–not that he’d want to anyway. 

He can’t help it if he dreams of your hands, how he’d be able to cradle them in his own and be able to gaze into your eyes with too much adoration for him to contain, and he’d be able to spill all sorts of ‘I love yous’ that fall so easily from his lips, it would be like he’d been born to utter them. 

He can’t help it if he dedicates all the nights staring out above the city and up into the sky to you–and how he’d count all the stars in the night if it’d make you happy, no matter how long it’d take. 

He can’t help it if, when you talk to him, he goes red, trying to contain the ever-present grin that somehow still leaks out at the sides, making his mouth lopsided. It’s not like he cares. Seeing you is always worth it. 

Lyney’s feelings find themselves overflowing with devotion, too much for him to properly handle, but it feels too good for him to let go.

It’s nearly every day when he thinks about him confessing his utter love for the way you say his name, for the way you maintain eye contact, for the way you smile so lovely at him, for the way he’d get down on one knee and say that his heart lies in your hands, and even if you plucked it apart, piece by piece, he’d be grateful that you were the one to be there until its last breath. 

People say there’s no such thing as love at first sight, but Lyney proclaims that he’s experienced it firsthand, because ever since you’ve met, he’s only been able to think of cooking for two, only been able to think of gifts that, conspicuously or not, loudly cry for your attention, not unlike himself. 

He flirts, he charms, he blushes, and yet he can never seem to come out with the very words that open the locked doors that guard your heart. 

He notices your reactions, whenever you invite him out, when you peer with interest at seeing a certain item on sale, and when your eyes light up when he surprises you with a goofy grin, gifting you that same certain item (plus a couple more), because no matter how much, he somehow has that little bit of change that’s always there. 

Always there. He likes to think that his love is always there. There when you cry, and there when you laugh, and there when you’re having an afternoon drink with him, and there when he gazes at you when you’re talking about something that you like and when he thinks that you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever laid eyes on. Even though you don’t truly know how far his love goes. 

In fact, you’ve only seen Lyney upset once in your life. 

The weather in Fontaine is unpredictable–rainy one moment and then sunny the next–and it just had to be the one day you forgot bring an umbrella. You had arrived at the Café Lucerne sopping wet, drenched to the bone with moisture that made you feel all icky and cold. Lyney was seated at one of the tables, and you headed towards him, only for his eyes to widen. He questioned you sharply, asking how you were, why did you go in the rain, why did you not bring an umbrella, why did you come and not seek shelter?! 

What if you got sick?!

His voice, usually so cheerful and amiable, now panicked and distressed. Not even waiting for an answer, his hand frantically grabbed yours, rushing the both of you to his abode, where you were forced to take a shower and take some spare clothes. 

Lyney then questioned you again–only once you were safe and with a hot drink, of course–and when you replied that you wanted to see him, his heart strained and his eyes softened. 

Oh, what you do to this magician! Are you trying to melt him with your words?! 

You looked at him, and a very pink blush crept up onto his cheeks, leaving a burning sensation. How he managed to say anything, he still doesn’t know to this day. Maybe it was the adrenaline talking, because his voice came out breathy and uncertain.

“You scared me. I don’t want you to get sick; it pains me to see you in pain.”

His voice was quiet for once and more genuine than you’d ever heard before. 

You smiled at him in response, and he thinks that everything is okay. 

Ever since that day, Lyney’s sheltered a dream.

One day, he’ll lie with you under the sheets, and he’ll whisper the things he vows to do to make you happy. And when he whispers each and every thing he vows to do, he’ll kiss your shoulder, and then your cheek, and then your hands–twice for good measure–and then your lips, and he’ll shudder so softly because the feeling of your tender lips against his erupts mini-fireworks in his stomach. 

And then when you fall asleep, he’ll let his eyes scan the very person he’s willing to do anything for, and he’ll see the stars in your veins, and he’ll say to you in your sleep that even the number of stars in the sky can’t compare to the number of things he can love about you. 

Lyney may be a magician, but there's no tricks or misdirection in how pure his feelings are, much like a singular white dove.

a/n: tell me if this is getting too repetitive i somehow always do this format without even thinking 😰 i’m a sucker for this style though 😻 likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated !! 🩷🩷

[moonstruckme]

hiiiiii🩷 It’s P 😊😊I was just wondering if I could request something a little bit self indulgent 🫠

Just a small thing about Remus comforting r for being anxious about having to start wearing glasses and being a bit embarrassed to wear them 🩷🩷🩷🩷

me from now on : 🤓🤓

have a lovely day 💋💋💋

Hi P! Thanks for requesting lovely <3

Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 763 words

You’re trying not to squint at the menu behind the barista, but an ache blooms in your temples anyway. You give up, looking away. You and Remus are still a few places back in the line. You’ll read it once you get closer. 

“What’re you thinking, dove?” 

“Hm?” You glance up at your boyfriend, but he’s staring at the menu. 

“What’re you thinking of getting?” he clarifies, his quiet voice barely reaching you over the chatter of conversation and whirring of machinery behind the counter. 

“Oh. I’m not sure,” you answer honestly, “what’re you thinking?” 

“I’m sort of intrigued by the orange clove latte, but the dark chocolate and mint one sounds good too.” 

“Mm, yeah.” You turn back towards the menu, your voice wavering with uncertainty. “Those both look good.” 

“Dove.” 

“Mhm?” You look at Remus again, and this time he’s looking back. 

“Where are your glasses?” 

You hesitate a second before patting the side of your bag soundly, feeling the bulge of your glasses case within. “I’ve got them,” you say. 

“You don’t want to wear them?” he implores. There’s a funny squint to his eyes, not entirely unlike your own. More teasing. “I doubt you can read the menu from all the way back here, sweetheart. Why don’t you put them on?” 

You grimace but don’t argue, digging for them in your bag and sliding them onto the bridge of your nose. The relief is instant, but so is the self-consciousness. You feel as though the difference in your appearance must be glaring. That when people look at you, your glasses must be all they can see. 

Remus senses your unease, slipping his hand into yours. He worms his fingers between your own. 

“I could tell you were having one of your headaches,” he murmurs, and now the details of his expression are startlingly clear. Every line of it is shaped by a tender, aching fondness. “You get a bit of tension right,” he brings his other hand to your face, running his thumb over the skin just above your brow, “here. It goes away when you put them on.” 

It’s both touching and embarrassing to be so thoroughly known. You rest your head on Remus’ bicep, cheeks warming. He doesn’t comment on it. 

By the time you get to the front of the line, you both know what you want, and afterwards you step to the side to wait for your drinks. 

Remus is watching you, a smile tucked into the corner of his mouth. 

“What?” you ask.

“Sorry, nothing.” He shakes his head. “You just look really cute in your glasses, you know?” 

You scoff. A cynical exhale that sounds more like a snort. Remus’ eyebrows go up. “You don’t have to say that,” you tell him. 

“I don’t feel like I have to,” he defends himself. “It’s fairly obvious. Don’t you like them?” 

You’re somehow even more aware of them than you were five seconds ago, touching your finger to the bridge to push the frames up an extra millimeter. “It’s like having an intruder on my face,” you joke lightly. 

Remus chuckles, giving your hand an affectionate squeeze. “You’re just not used to them,” he promises. “As someone who’s seen your face both with and without and loves it very much, I can testify that they don’t interfere with the general effect. You’re still lovely.” 

Neither of you can quite look at each other as he says it, though when you lean into his side a bit in thanks, he leans back. 

The barista calls out your order, and you both pick up your drinks, claiming a table by the window. 

“I’m shackled to iced coffee for the rest of my days,” you grouse, sipping your drink from a straw. “Hot drinks are too inconvenient, with the way they fog up my glasses.” 

“You always want iced ones,” Remus points out. 

You shrug like well yeah, but that’s not the point, and he rolls his eyes good-naturedly. They slip closed as he sips from his own cup. He’d gone with the odder one, orange and clove, and he seems uncertain about the taste, letting it sit on his tongue for a bit. 

“Interesting,” he decides. “Want to try?” 

You reach for the cup curiously. He passes it to you, and you blow on it out of instinct, immediately penalized when your vision is obscured. 

“Ugh.” You pull your face back from the cup, trying to see through your foggy lenses. “So annoying.” 

Even through the mist, you can see Remus’ lips curve in a smile. “Adorable.”

[blacknedsoul-blog]

A detailed explanation from my headcanon that Annabel has ADHD

So I had this six fucking hour trip. On a bus. Alone. And I was bored out of my mind, because sitting around being bored is as close to mental torture as it gets for me.

Fortunately, the light at the end of the tunnel: I was inspired. Away from the burnout I have with fanfics, I remembered that I've mentioned this headcanon several times on Nevermore's Discord and just thought, what better time to talk about ADHD than when I'm having a pretty ADHD moment?

But before I start, there are a few little things that need to be pretty clear on the table:

I'm being a bit hypocritical here: in general, I'm deeply against diagnosing fictional characters for two reasons: first, it's an impossible task to distinguish between character traits and symptoms to such an extent that you can go around forever without coming to a real conclusion unless the author of the work confirms it, and second, even if you have the disorder you're talking about, you can fall into the trap of perpetuating stereotypes or generalizing, thereby invalidating other experiences. So even if the tone of this review sounds very assertive, it is because of my writing style. I am in no way diagnosing Annabel; this is an analysis of her character through the lens of a possible disorder.

In relation to the above, where I point out an event in the comic that can be read as a symptom, I am not reducing it to "this only happens because she has ADHD". You CAN'T reduce a person's personality to "they has a disorder," and when I point out these examples, I'm not doing so with the intention of denying the background behind it, but rather pointing out how, under the magnifying glass of having it, it might exacerbate that behavior.

I am NOT a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or a neurologist: I am a woman with ADHD. One who has done a lot of research on the subject, been in therapy with a psychologist who specializes in the disorder, and talked extensively about it both with friends who also have it and with professionals. But I don't have a career in mental health, I don't pretend to, and everything you'll read below is a mixture of research and personal experience.

You're going to see a lot of "we" or "those of us with ADHD" because, as I said, I have it too, but this is all a generalization made for the sake of flow. The symptoms of this disorder can be expressed in many different ways, and not everyone has all of them (for example, there are some that I don't have, but it would be strange to change the voice of the text just because of that, it makes it harder to read). If you have ADHD and read a symptom and think "hey, I don't get that", that's perfectly normal. Your experience is valid and I don't want to pass it on. But it would be exhausting for me and for the reader to use tentative phrases all the time.

If this text resonates too much with you, I strongly recommend that you see a professional, if you're able, and not self-diagnose: ADHD has many symptoms in common with autism and other neuro divergences, don't risk misdiagnosis.

If you have a different opinion than mine on this subject and want to share it with me, I'll be happy to read it, if I don't answer it's because I forgot (forgive me?). But you can be sure that I will read it.

Anyway, let's get started.

What is ADHD?

According to the NIH (National Institute of Mental Health) website, this is the definition of ADHD:

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is marked by an ongoing pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development. People with ADHD experience an ongoing pattern of the following types of symptoms:

Inattention means a person may have difficulty staying on task, sustaining focus, and staying organized, and these problems are not due to defiance or lack of comprehension.

Hyperactivity means a person may seem to move about constantly, including in situations when it is not appropriate, or excessively fidgets, taps, or talks. In adults, hyperactivity may mean extreme restlessness or talking too much.

Impulsivity means a person may act without thinking or have difficulty with self-control. Impulsivity could also include a desire for immediate rewards or the inability to delay gratification. An impulsive person may interrupt others or make important decisions without considering long-term consequences.

Here is an impression that needs to be clarified: ADHD is more about an inability to regulate attention than a lack of it. A neurotypical person may choose to focus on a task to get it done, we may procrastinate to death because even if we want to, we can't focus on it, or stand there absorbed in it ad infinitum until the house falls down around us (and we may still have trouble noticing). This is understood, Understanding all this, here is the list of Annabel's behaviors that could be interpreted as symptoms.

Hyperactivity

One thing that not everyone knows is that hyperactivity is not about running around like an uncontrolled animal. It can manifest itself in many ways, and there are many types: physical, mental, and even emotional.

In Annabel's case, she seems to be the first two types.

Perhaps due to her difficulty in expressing emotions, it is quite obvious at this point in the comic that her moods are made explicit through gestures: playing with her rings when she is happy or nervous, touching the ribbon around her neck in moments of anxiety, or playing with her hair almost as a default state.

Annabel.

Doesn't.

Sit.

Still.

Never.

It is also clear that Annabel is always planning something. Always.

This can be read into the logic of mental hyperactivity: when you have it, your brain just doesn't stop. Ever. And that's something that resonates with this lady.

Emotional Dysregulation

The part of the brain that regulates our moods works…erratically. Not to say it doesn't work at all.

This leads to a painfully common problem in women with ADHD: lack of emotional regulation is seen as drama, and instead of being taught tools to deal with it, we are taught to repress and bottle up emotions.

Annabel has highly internalized this as a defense mechanism. But here's the thing: if repressing emotions instead of learning how to deal with them in a healthy way is harmful, being biologically unable to regulate them can be even worse.

It touches the right nerves, and if you catch us flying low, it can cause explosive outbursts.

Possibly violent reactions to feeling offended or uncomfortable.

Or completely over-the-top reactions that we can't control.

And it's not just anger that's affected, it's the whole emotional spectrum. Another emotion that is very noticeable is fear. If we don't develop tools to help us calm down, we don't get scared, we panic.

If this happens too often, we can become prone to developing severe anxiety or frequent attacks.

We may also have great difficulty dealing with frustration. Our brains love rewards, and feeling that we're not getting them because of our own inability to do something can be downright annoying. And if we don't have the tools to express our frustration appropriately, we can have quite childish reactions, ranging from temper tantrums to…pouting.

I find it funny how several of these pouts are caused by Lenore, a bit like "Oh, come on, honey, what are we talking about?"

Another important thing to note here is that one of the most fucked up and notorious symptoms of this lack of emotional regulation is RSD, short for Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, defined as "a problem that interferes with your ability to regulate your emotional responses to feelings of failure and rejection. While rejection is almost always unpleasant, people with RSD experience overwhelming levels of emotional pain. This can lead to long-term mental health problems, fear of failure, and behavioral changes that negatively affect them throughout their lives."

Rejection and fear of failure are a problem for us. So much so that we may seek strategies to avoid it as much as possible, even when it causes us problems (such as not completing a task for fear of doing it wrong). This is an issue that can tear us apart emotionally.

Annabel is terrified of being rejected or despised. Her whole life has been built around appearances and getting the right people interested in her. If she can't do that, what good is she?

And that's something that comes up a lot in her relationship with Lenore. Repeatedly, in fact, but my favorite has to be this one:

Annabel thought it would be the smart thing to do to break that bond because she knows they're never going to see each other again. But the look on her face when Lenore calls her a "damn liar" is just painful to watch. I think ripping her heart out with a rusty spoon would have hurt less.

Finally, on the subject of things that aren't so funny: that thing Annabel does about biting her fingers when she's in a critical situation is something I used to do, too (only I'd bite my knuckles or palms).

My psychologist explained to me that when you feel like you're losing control, you immediately look for something to ground you, and unfortunately, physical pain is often a quick (if damaging) way to do that.

Codependency

Okay, here's a thing: it's not that we have a tendency as such to codependency, but this is a situation that can occur due to bad practices within a relationship. Especially a couple one.

As it stands out, people with ADHD can have a lot of problems with micromanaging ourselves, remembering things, dealing with our emotions, etc, etc, etc. And it is natural for close friends, family or our partner to help in those processes.

The problem arises when that help starts to become a parentification process where the partner who is providing support starts to do this on behalf of the other person, infantilizing them in the process.

This is a cocktail for resentment on both sides: the party calling the shots can easily feel that the other is putting a huge burden on their shoulders and not trying hard enough, while, on the other side, no one likes to feel like they are being treated like a child. Let alone that the person doing it is your partner.

But at the other end of resentment, there's codependency.

The constant feeling that you are a burden, insufficient or even disposable.

And that means you have a lot to make up for. On a regular basis. So much that you put yourself in a situation where you have to make horrible decisions so that someone else doesn't have to because somehow you owe it to them, who hasn't had that happen?

What I mean is that yes, Annabel feels like she owes this to Lenore because she only remembers the part where Lenore came kicking in doors to save her from a marriage she didn't want. And if she can't do this for her, she doesn't deserve a relationship.

Feeling inadequate, that your partner is doing you some kind of favor by tolerating you and ending up idealizing their in the process is obviously not unique to the neurodivergent experience.

But we try, we try really hard and, like anyone else, we like to feel that the effort we put in is seen and valued.

If we are not careful about that, we do indeed fall into the risk of becoming codependent. The desire to feel loved or valued becomes a constant hunger for validation from which it is difficult to escape because we are aware that our brain will never function in a different way. And if that is mixed with RSD, it can become an even bigger problem.

Novelty, games, challenges, and rewards

Producing dopamine on a normal basis is one thing our brains aren't very good at (one of the reasons we can be prone to depression, for example), but you know what they love? Challenges and rewards.

New things feed our endless curiosity, but for some reason unknown to me, our brains really love challenges and dares. They give us dopamine like we're on a high.

So much so that some people use it as a tactic to perform tasks they don't like: "How many dishes can I wash before my dinner is ready?", "If I can finish this in less than 30 minutes, I can go get chocolate."

One medium we may like very much for this reason is games. Board games, card games, or virtual games. It doesn't matter. Games provide a very good balance of challenge and reward.

If you see that Annabel seems overly interested in how this works, it's because there may be a part of her that thinks "aside from the deadly situation we're in…this is like the most hardcore escape room ever" and inevitably there's something here that stirs her bug.

It may be something she loves about Lenore. As a good hypocrite, Annabel despises the rules she knows so well, so when Lenore comes along with this gimmick and completely changes the paradigm of what she knows, there is inevitably something that appeals to her. Others who are good at the game look down on Lenore's disdain for the rules, to Annabel it is fucking appealing because it offers a range of unexplored possibilities that she fucking loves.

Erratic Communication

When our brains are running at full speed, communication can become a challenge, and we tend to exhibit erratic patterns.

One of these is info-dumping. Touch a topic we know about or are interested in and it's like stepping on a landmine: we explode talking about it. Non-stop. You'll have to hit us to shut us up.

Another thing is that we can have a bad habit of interrupting. A lot. It's not malicious, it's just that we're really into the conversation and want to participate as much as possible.

That said, even if we're extroverts, it can be a nightmare to withhold information or participate in a conversation if it doesn't grab our attention. It's not that we want to be disrespectful or anything, it's just that, again, we have no control over our ability to pay attention and we're swimming against the tide to hold on to whatever it is you're telling us.

This scene is something I've seen in friends with ADHD and have been told I do: stare at people while doing your best to do the hamster run to remember what they're telling you because you know it's important, even though your brain is putting it together with junk information because it's not engaging your attention in the right way.

Ignore the murderous stare part, it's not that common - at least I hope not.

Drinks that are like a pill

Our brains are not designed to produce certain hormones naturally or, in some cases, they produce them under other circumstances. For things like that, we can take pills, develop strategies to help our brains produce hormones.

And drink coffee. Lots of coffee.

Caffeine can be extremely relaxing for us because it can actually help our brains keep functioning, you know that stereotype of the highly coded ADHD character who drinks coffee like it's his life? Well, that's because.

You know what other beverage has a similar effect? Tea. Theine is also a natural activator, perhaps less aggressive than coffee, but it can have a similar effect.

If you're interested in describing this topic in fanfic or touching on it in fanart, tea should have a relaxing effect on Annabel and even help her concentrate.

Boredom

We get bored. A lot. And we get painfully bored. Here's what happens: boredom is caused by a lack of stimulation, and our brains aren't stimulated just because we can't regulate our attention to seek out that stimulation.

Add to that the fact that when we are bored, without dopamine hitting our receptors, our executive functions diminish and we function like shit.

Boredom

Is

Fucking

Murder

Because our brain starts desperately asking for dopamine and we can fall into really unhealthy behaviors like fighting, being chronically online, or eating because we can't find anything better to do. This also contributes -again- to our depression or anxiety.

Conclusions (and if I don't make the joke, I'll die)

In the book ADHD After Dark (a study of ADHD, relationships, and physical intimacy), Ari Tuckman draws some interesting conclusions, one of which is that on a statistical level, people with ADHD seem to be more likely to have what he calls "sexual eagerness": kinks, fetishes, a tendency to be adventurous in bed, and the like. Again, our brains love play, and both intimacy and flirtation can involve a lot of it.

So…

Um…

…well, I think Lenore will be happy. Good for her.

Anyway, this has been a seriously long explanation. Thanks for reading this far.

[gyuwoncheol]

Man On A Mission

Pair: Joshua x f.reader

Genre: Fluff, very slight angst

Summary: Plans are made and the surprise is all set, but what happens when you’re suddenly refusing to be Joshua’s Valentine’s date? Will your boyfriend get your sweet yes in time for the big day or will he have to force it out of you? Good thing this sexy gentleman has a few tricks up his sleeve.

Warning: slight angst if you squint, lots of playful teasing, Shua and oc being menaces to each other, making out, suggestive content.

WC: 2.8k

Author’s Note: Happy (belated) Valentine’s Day! This is my piece for @svthub Cupid For You Collab - Valentine’s Gift Exchange. This is very much dedicated for my Valentine @shuadotcom 🩷 I’m so sorry this is late 😭 I would’ve really wanted to publish this on the 13th but your valentine has been very sickly these past few days. I hope you enjoy this as much I enjoyed writing the antics I wrote for you and your beloved Joshua. I love you so much!!! To the moon and back 😉 The biggest thanks as well to my dearest @wongyuseokie for being so patient with me and helping me out with all my questions AND for organizing this event! Ily 😘

Svthub’s Cupid For You Collab Masterlist

“You can’t be serious right now,” you frown in shock.

“SURPRISE!” Your boyfriend exclaims.

You turn around fully to face him, “babe… I thought we agreed on no surprises? And no extravagant gifts?”

A cheesy grin flashes on Joshua’s face but when he notices how serious you actually are, his once excited expression starts to fall.

You really should’ve known that when you both agreed on a simple staycation for Valentine’s, your CEO boyfriend would do anything but. However, when he mentioned to you about how busy he would be this week trying to close a merger deal, you thought perhaps simple would be possible. So when he asked you to join him for a lunch with business partners in a fancy hotel the day before Valentine’s, you didn’t actually think it was all a trap to just get you both checked in in the presidential suite for an overnight stay.

Joshua observes you a bit more before answering, suddenly feeling embarrassed and scared, “do you not… like it? I mean, I can still cancel the booking and then we can go do—“

“Baby, no,” you interrupt, “it’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just… not what we agreed on.”

“Well you said you wanted a staycation, right?” Isn’t this what that is? A nice place just less than an hour away from the city, perfect view, nice amenities, a good looking boyfriend. But I mean, if you’re not into it, I might still be able to get us those Bali tickets I canceled last week.”

“You what?!”

“Mr. and Mrs. Hong?” The small voice of the hotel receptionist calls you both and Joshua is thanking the heavens you were given no time to further interrogate him.

“It’s Miss y/l/n,” you immediately correct her and Joshua frowns at how quick you were to dissociate from him, sweat starting to bead on his forehead as he ponders how his extravagant surprise might have really upset you.

“Oh, my apologies miss y/l/n. Anyway, I just wanted to inform you that your suite is ready. Here are your room keys and you will be assisted to your room.” You kindly thank the receptionist and make your way through the hotel lobby.

The elevator ride up to the top was silent and awkward. Joshua consistently bounced on the balls of his feet from nerves. However, when the doors to your suite open, your jaw drops and your feet automatically lead you towards the floor-to-ceiling windows that boast a 180 degree view of the city. You didn’t even notice the bell man wishing you both a pleasant stay or hear your boyfriend carefully approach you. You could see the concrete jungle of the business district yet so beautifully backdropped by the sprawling mountains in the distance. You never thought much of your city, it wasn’t exactly a tourist destination in itself, but now that you’re looking at it from hundreds of feet above, you realise it has a charm of its own.

“I take it you want to stay?” Joshua asks as he observes the glimmer in your eyes.

You finally peel your gaze from the view and turn to your boyfriend who’s carrying an apologetic look on his face.

“I’m sorry, baby,” he grabs your hands and sandwiches them between his, “I just thought this would be nice and I know you didn’t want to do anything big but I also know you like surprises and I just really wanted to give you the perfect Valentine’s I could pla–“

“Who said I’d be your Valentine’s?”

At that very moment, all color drains from your boyfriend’s face. His mouth is agape, eyebrows raised and eyes are round as ever. Complete and utter shock wash over him and then you see pain, his eyes show early signs of wetness and he starts to blink hard and that’s when you burst out in laughter.

“I’M KIDDING!” You laugh loudly, hands cupping his face and you just hear him take a deep breath.

“Babyyyy,” he whines and you’re completely melting at the pout etched on his face.

“Aww, babe,” you peck his lips before embracing him tightly. He takes a few more seconds wrapped in your arms, trying to let his heartbeat stabilize from the prank you just pulled. “I was just kidding. I think.”

“You think?” He pulls back and catches the mischievous smile on your face. “What does that mean?”

“Hmm… well for starters, you just assumed, you didn’t even ask me, and then–“

“Okay so will you be my Valentine?” Your boyfriend rushes out and if you just weren’t feeling playful, it would be a definite yes right then and there.

“I’ll think about it,” you shrug. “This wasn’t exactly how I thought we’d spend the holiday, you know. I thought we’d only meet with Mr. Min today.”

“Well, I had to find a way to get you to come here with me.”

“Yeah, but what happened to no surprises, Josh? Didn’t we agree on a simple Valentine’s, just a staycation? No fancy gifts and just our favorite food?”

“If you think about it, we’re still in the city, so it’s still a staycation. And we can still have our favorite food!”

“And yet… what was that I heard awhile ago? You had plans to take me to Bali? Hmm??”

“Okay, fine…” your boyfriend slumps in defeat, “but that was honestly booked before we even agreed on anything. And then I canceled when you said you didn’t want anything too extravagant. C’mon baby,” Joshua prods, his arms wrapping around your waist, “I’m still somewhat following the agreement. I just… I really want to make this special for us. Please let me?”

“Okay, I’ll let you,” you smile at the sincerity of your most loving boyfriend. You truly appreciate the effort he’s putting into this, but just like the dynamic of your relationship, what’s a romantic holiday without a little fun? “But I’m still not saying yes to being your Valentine… not yet.”

He sees the wink you just gave him as you walk away and he rolls his eyes. “So that’s how you wanna play it, huh?”

You dramatically turn around before letting yourself fall on the large couch by the living room, “oh whatever could you mean, my love?”

Sometimes, Joshua just hates how you may just be as mischievous as he is, if not more. But he also adores your playful side, especially when it makes him think outside of the box. When he sits beside you on the couch, he’s immediately pulling you onto his lap, hands roaming up and down from your waist to your thighs. “I’ll get you to say yes,” he answers confidently.

“Oh yeah?”

“Mhmm… before midnight.”

“A deadline, I like that,” you nod in approval, “let the games begin, babe.”

Joshua scoffs, “they already have.” A searing kiss is delivered to you that you almost fall over if your boyfriend hadn’t had his muscular arms supporting your back. When you’re finally responding back, Joshua is surprisingly the first to groan, but could you blame him? Your lips were full and soft and it didn’t help at all that your hips have decided to grind against his crotch. He’s sucking on your bottom lip and when they part to grant him entrance, the CEO wastes no time in exploring with his tongue. He hears you moan once, twice, and then he’s pulling your pelvis down as he bucks his hips to meet yours.

“Will you be my Valentine?” He asks in a muffled rush while trailing down your neck, hoping you’d be caught off guard. But Joshua should’ve known, you took your games just as seriously as he did.

“Not so fast, baby.” You giggle, pushing him back against the couch. “You’re not gonna get me in one try.”

There’s a genuine laughter shared between the both of you but when you feel Joshua’s hand begin to pull down the strap of your blouse, you gasp in shock, scaring the man beneath you, “what is it?”

“Babe! I don’t have clothes!”

“Even better,” he smirks.

“No!” You swat his hand away when he attempts another kiss. “I mean, we’re staying the night, right? I didn’t pack anything. Oh my god! I don’t even have my skincare!”

“Okay, calm down,” he rubs your arms, “I have it under control. I’ve packed for you, yeah? Clothes, skincare, even some accessories. Just… except maybe underwear.”

“Babe!”

“What? You won’t really need it anyway.”

“Joshua!” You scold louder this time.

“I’M KIDDING!” He laughs like a maniac, “I brought you… a few.”

To be very fair with your boyfriend, he stayed true to his promise of a staycation. While the hotel you were at had a luxury shopping center directly below it, he knew you just wanted to laze around in the comfort of your suite. Room service was ordered for your lunch, you both watched your favorite movie on the large built-in flat screen on the wall and now, you’re sighing happily sprawled out on the bed wrapped in the hotel’s fluffy bathrobe.

“Someone’s happy,” Joshua notes, settling beside you.

“Are you kidding me? That was the best massage I’ve ever had in my life!” If you were being honest, your whole body felt like jelly, in a good way, it’s as if you could still feel the masseuse’s skillful hands kneading away the knots on your lower back. “I think I might just marry her.”

“Wow, okay???” Your boyfriend takes offense.

“If she asked me to be her Valentine, it’s a yes,” you stick your tongue out at him and before you know it, you’re smothered in tickles from your boyfriend.

“What did you just say?!” He challenges and you want to trigger him more but you’re simply reduced to a fit of squirming giggles underneath his muscular body.

“S-s-sttooooppp!”

Your wrists are conveniently pinned down above your head as you try to squirm away, your body encased between his legs, and a pair of scrunched up brows and pursed lips are staring you down, “Not until you say yes to being my Valentine!”

“No!” You deny him, “the more you tickle me, the more I’ll say no.”

This actually catches his attention and he lets go of you. “Wow, I didn’t think that would work.”

“I’m just nice,” he proudly grins, “and that’s why I’d make the perfect Valentine’s date.”

“Mhmm, probably. You are a gentleman, after all.”

Joshua wiggles his finger at you disapprovingly, “I believe the exact term you’re looking for is a sexy gentleman.”

You both share a laugh at the inside joke that began a few years back in his workplace and has simply stuck until now. “Speaking of,” his tone turns a bit more serious, “I know you just wanna be lazy in bed all day but if it’s okay with you, will you let this sexy gentleman take you to dinner tonight? It’s just going to be in the restaurant downstairs and I made sure to ask the staff to place us where it’s more quiet and secluded.” Big doe eyes stared at you and while you did want to tease Joshua a little more, the sincere look on his face proved too difficult to even playfully deny.

“Okay, I’ll go, but I’m still not your Valentine date. There’s still a few more hours to woo me, Joshua Hong.”

He scoffs and then smiles, leaving a kiss on your cheek before hopping out of bed, “I’ll get that yes before midnight.” It’s cool and confident, and somehow, you’re beginning to lose your resolve.

“What is this?!” you gasp as you open the small hand carry luggage that your boyfriend had packed for you. It was the first time you had gone through it, completely trusting him when he said he had brought all your essentials. You also didn’t feel the need to go through the bag earlier as you had no plans but to live in the fluffy robe the hotel provided.

“What?” Joshua snickers.

You squint your eyes at him, knowing his agenda a little too well. “This,” you mutter coldly, raising up the lingerie with your hands. It was skimpy and it was lacey, and most of all, it was your boyfriend’s favorite. He tries to act innocent but a cheesy grin breaks out on his face anyway and you just roll your eyes at his antics. However, rummaging through the rest of the bag for underwear that had more coverage proved to be unsuccessful. “Just three pairs of lingerie? Nothing else. Really?”

“Hey, no! I packed four. Four pairs of lingerie. All of which are my favorite,” a boyish grin on his face.

“You couldn’t even bring me at least one comfy pair of panties for sleeping?” You pout.

“Not when we’ll be sleeping naked, no. But your nightgown is there,” your boyfriend earns another roll of your eyes and now he’s really giggling with mischief. “C’mon babe, don’t pout. Any of those four will fit perfectly with…” he runs to the closet and then quickly comes back with a huge white box in his hands that had a big black ribbon tied around it.

“Babe,” you gasp silently when you manage to open the box and pick up the beautiful dress that was folded neatly inside. It came in your favorite color and in a style that complimented your curves well. “This is too much,” you say just above a whisper, “I thought no more gifts?”

“Well, this isn’t really a gift. It’s more like… hmmmm…” your boyfriend purses his lips, “giving you something to wear for dinner. I can’t have you walking in the restaurant in just your lingerie! That’s only for my eyes to see!”

You should’ve been annoyed really, he was coming up with the most mischievous excuses to break the agreement you both made, but the way Joshua was pouting and huffing towards the end of his sentence had you smiling like a love struck teenager.

“I love you so much,” you smile and wrap your arms around your boyfriend, planting a kiss on his lips.

“I love you too, baby.”

And you both did, you really loved each other so much. Mischief and jokes were common between you and Joshua; he was equally playful as you are, but no matter how much you teased each other, every single ‘I love you’ that came out of your mouths was always said meaningfully.

“Baby?” your boyfriend asks in the middle of your scrumptious dinner, “do you think Valentine’s is overrated?”

You’re slightly taken aback by the question, especially since the topic before this was how Joshua managed to win the chubby bunny contest during your friend group’s Christmas dinner.

“Uhmm.. “

When you realize he looked dead serious about his query, you give it some thought before answering him, “I see why it could be. It is quite a capitalistic holiday and well, Saint Valentine did die a gruesome death on this day, but I do think that if your Valentine is the right person, it doesn’t really matter if it’s overrated or not.”

Josh is listening intently to your words, his thumb slowly rubbing the back of your hand, “So… you don’t think all my surprises today are overrated, right?” There’s a curious look behind his eyes and your heart physically squeezes at the sight of it.

“Oh, love…” you sigh and scoot your chair right by his side, cupping his cheek and giving him a kiss that you hoped would wipe his worries once and for all, “You could’ve surprised me with a trip to the moon and I would still hop on that spaceship with you volunta–”

Joshua gasps loudly, “Now, how did you know that’s where we’re going tomo–”

“Babe!” you laugh and shove him lightly, “Even if you weren’t kidding, I’d go with you. I told you, even the most possibly overrated thing you could think of will not be overrated as long as it’s with you.”

“Ohhh, so I am your Valentine tomorrow, huh?” The proudest, most obnoxious smirk breaks out on your boyfriend’s face, his chin is held up high and one brow raised approvingly. It takes a few seconds for you but when you realize what he’s done— falling perfectly into his trap— your jaw simply hangs low.

Your boyfriend is quick to tuck his hand below your chin, “close your mouth babe, else a bug might fly in.”

You scoff at the remark but honestly, Joshua isn’t able to hear you amidst his cackling, and you absolutely abhor how he’s gotten you to slip so easily.

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t,” the laugh is evil and confident, and you want to punch his stupid annoying grin away, “you loooooove me, quite literally to the moon AND back.”

Damn him, you thought, because he’s right, you love him, to the moon and back.

As if he wasn’t proud enough, your boyfriend seals your defeat by grabbing your neck to kiss you fervently only to then raise his fist in victory, “one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind, AND a Valentine’s date for Joshua Hong!”

[artists-ally]

I love your Harvey fics😍 and I have a this fluff thatmayleadto spice/smut scenario in which Harvey comes back home from home finding the reader reading a particularly spicy scene of a romance novel and in the beginning Harvey makes a little fun of her but then he sees the appeal and...you know😂

{That Kind of Love} Harvey x Reader

Can I just say @kjbg-fantasymoon is so sweet??? Like ugh you are so nice ilysm. Told you I’d answer all your requests 😘😘 Anyway here is my two cents on the matter, enjoy!!! Title from this song (p.s. both books I mention in here, Flawless and Dirty Letters, are both real books and I high recommend both of them!)

Word Count: 1,481

Warnings: smut, minor d/s vibes, spanking

Summary: Harvey catches you reading a particular smutty scene from your current book.

~~~~~~

“Don’t you think it’s a bad idea?”

“Is what a bad idea?”

“You know,” I said, motioning between us. “This. Us, alone together? We can’t keep our hands off each other.”

Griffin laughed, grabbing me by my waist and pulling me tight against his chest. “It absolutely is an awful idea. But you look so fucking good in that skirt. I mean Jesus Luca, it barely covers your ass. And you know how much I hate it when anyone looks at anything that’s mine.”

I clenched my thighs together when he pushed the skirt up my ass, not being shy with the noise that burned my core. 

“Griffin,” I rested my forehead against his collar bone, gripping his shirt as he pushed my underwear down my thighs.

“Yes?”

“Please,” I begged. I needed to feel him. God, twelve years of sexual frustration was not helping me in any way. Every fantasy I had as a teenager was coming to life. 

“Is my girl needy?” I whined. “Aww, do you need me to take care of you? To force you on your hands and knees and fuck you like you’ve always wanted me to? How about I tie you up and make you cum on my fingers, then my mouth, then my co-”

“YN!” 

I flailed so hard the book clattered to the ground, and I could feel my pulse in my fingers. “Jesus fucking Christ Harvey don’t you know how to knock?”

“I did knock,” he countered, reaching down to pick up my forgotten story. “Twice. And I opened the door and called your name. And I’ve been standing in front of you for two minutes, watching you read. Watching you bite your lip in that way you only do when you’re completely lost. So, wanna tell me what you were reading?”

I blinked, mouth gaping open like a fish out of water. He turned the book over in his hand, reading the cover. Harvey raised an eyebrow at me and offered the book back. With a blush to my cheeks, I plucked it from his hand and folded it into my lap. 

“What’s the book about?” He asked again. 

“Nothing you’d like, Mr. Harvard,” I stuck out my tongue, placing the book on the table beside me before walking into the living room. “How was your day?”

“Nothing, huh?” Wow, Harvey could not take a hint. “Come on, just tell me. Was it about vikings? Pirates? Viking pirates? What about some small town romance, where the city girl moves back home and the farm boy reigns her back to her roots? Just like his pops did with his mamma?”

“Please, I am far above that cliche bullshit.” I am most certainly not above it. At all. “And why do you care?”

“Because, you were so entangled with it you didn’t even hear me come in. whatever is in that book, maybe I want to find out what it is so you’ll pay attention to me that intensely,” Harvey cornered me in the kitchen, caging me in against the counter after I got a glass of water. 

“I pay attention to you,” I argued, looking from his eyes to his lips when he licked him, very clearly looking at mine.

“Uh huh, sure you do. When it involves my wallet and my lips in between your legs,” Harvey teased, bringing me in against his chest. In an oddly similar way that the main character of my book did. “Just tell me, I’ll stop asking if you tell me.” “No you won’t.”

“No, I won’t,” Harvey smiled, and I rolled my eyes. “It can’t be that bad, Yn. I’ve caught you reading smut more than once, so what was it this time?”

“How do you know I read smut?” My eyes went wide, and my heart sped up a little in my chest. 

“I didn’t at first,” Harvey said. “But then I told Donna about one of the books you were reading, Flawless by Elsie Silver, and she told me how ‘spicy’ it was. And you are pretty bad at being subtle, my love. You don’t do a great job at hiding your emotions on your face.”

Welp. Fuck. 

My eyes narrowed at the New York lawyer and he just gave me a cheesy smile. “Fine, I’ll tell you. But you’re gonna have to read it. Because you’ll understand why when you do.”

As I walked back into the den, Harvey in tow, I plopped the book in his hand. Dirty Letters follows Luca and Griffin, childhood penpals turned strangers, through their reconnection. He’s keeping a huge secret and she’s a recovering victim of PTSD. 

“Well, with a title like that I expect it to be dirty,” Harvey rolled his eyes, reading the back of the cover. “Show me the good stuff.”

I flipped to the page I was reading, scanning to make sure I was in the right spot. I didn’t have to bookmark the page because someone decided to scare me half to death. He should know by now to just leave me alone when I’m reading. It’s not my fault that I get vaulted into another world when I do.

“Here, start there and let me know when you’re done.”

Was I entirely sure that leaving Harvey to his own devices with my book was a good idea? No I wasn’t. I knew he was going to make fun of me, but oh well. Everyone else in the world liked to watch porn, I just liked to read it. He didn’t have to understand it, but if it would get his ass off mine? I’ll take the embarrassment and get it over with. 

It wasn’t even ten minutes before he set the book down on the kitchen island, clearing his throat. I turned to face him and saw a slight tinge to his cheeks.

“Alright, let’s get it over with,” I prepared for the roasting. “Tell me how much of a nerd and how much of a loser I am for reading word porn.”

Harvey just shoved his hands in his pockets. He no longer had his tie, or his jacket for that matter. His hair was unusually messy and that blush. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen Harvey blush before. 

“Well,” Harvey started. “I can see the appeal.”

He can what? There was no possible way I heard him right. “Say that again?”

“I can see why you like to read. That author is really good at being… descriptive.”

I smirked, “So, you thought it was hot?”

“Amongst other things,” he bent at the waist, resting his elbows on the counter. “I get why you get lost in it, especially with something like that. Griffin is very charming, something we both have in common.”

“Oh please, you read some of the best smut an author can write at that’s what you take away from it?”

“Not at all, my love,” Harvey stepped closer. “I also learned that you have a thing for being called ‘my girl’. And I don’t blame you, you like it when I’m possessive. When I tell you that you belong to me.”

“This was not the reaction that I was expecting,” I eyed him. 

“Don’t worry, Yn. I promise I’ll make fun of you for it after I finish making you scream my name,” Harvey ducked his head down and wasted no time in showing his need. 

His tongue brushed over mine and he pulled me in tight against his body. Damn him and his unrivaled ability to turn me on. All it took was a few well placed kisses to my neck, to my ear to get me to our room and on the bed, hands not able to get enough of each other. 

If I knew Harvey would’ve had this type of reaction to reading smut, I should show him some real smut. That was nothing compared to some of the other stuff on my shelf. Maybe I could get him to do some of those things to me.

“Aww, is my girl already messy for me?” Harvey clicked his tongue, stripping the last of his clothes off. “Who knew you’d be so easy.”

“And who knew that you’d be so easy when it came to getting what I want by giving you a book.”

Harvey’s eyes narrowed. “You think you’re gonna get what you want?” In a quick grab, I was on my stomach, ass up, and Harvey’s hand came down a lot harder than I was prepared for. “Wanna try that again, pretty girl?”

I gasped when the next one came, and the next. “N-No.”

“Okay then,” Harvey let out a dark laugh, fisting his hand in my hair and pulling me up. “You gonna stop being a brat and let me do my job?”

I nodded, eyes falling shut when he pinched my nipple between his fingers. 

“Good girl.”

[snowsinterlude]

🪻 - violet roses and bleeding hearts.

(incel coriolanus snow x reader)

summary: no one knew how sweet your boyfriend could be. even if he was a raging misogynistic incel.

based on this ask !

c.w: incel coriolanus, mentions to misoginy, fluff, short fic, coryo being a sweetheart (most parts), couple content, some slight mentions to sex, slight punching

whilst everyone asked you why you were with coriolanus snow, the biggest incel of the academy and also one of the smartest and prettiest nerds, you knew you had him on the palm of your hand.

he was a terrible person towards woman, of course. he always had something to say towards others but never towards you. no, no.

you were his muse. his goddess. it is safe to say that he adored you, loved you so much it was a joke. it seemed fun to you that you both started talking because of an argument about clothes and the way femininity should be performed.

of course, it didn't end very well, you punched him in the face after he said something about traditional woman and that punch was enough for him to be head over heels to you. acting like a puppy with you and an angry pitbull towards others. he never thought much abbout others, but you? ma'am, ever since that punch, you had him on your bare feet.

he was a virgin mess before you met him, and he still is a mess but a more controled one- at least with you.

he knows his way with words. and acts! he loves giving you roses and huge bouquets of his grandma'am white roses, however, when he thought it was too much white, he turned to the one thing he knew you loved:

violet roses and bleeding hearts.

"y/n," he called you, voice a bit hitched from his excitement. it's been days since he wanted to see you, and he looked like a lost puppy without you around. however, he looked at your clothes up and down, the big hoodie and the sweatpants calling his attention as he frowned a bit and gulped down.

you noticed that, anyway. "what is it, coryo? is there something wrong with my clothes?" you asked.

obviously, he was ready to answer that question. he was always ready to make a really sweet comment or a really rude one. you knew him. always getting into people's weardrobe as if he has a full one.

"aren't those clothes a bit masculine, my love?" he asked, brows still knitted together. very cute for him.

"i don't think so, they're so comfortable." you said, comforting yourself into the hoodie and smelling it's perfume.

"okay, you're right, love. as always" he said, praying internally that this wouldn't be the outfit you were going to use for you both to go out.

it was worse. but at least it was something a girl would use.

your dress was quite short. white, above the knee, tight, hugging every curve you had while your hair was turned in a bun, high on your neck. pretty. somehow, erotic.

"th...that's..." he stared at you, up and down and down and up all over.

"yes? what is it now?" you asked, hand on your waist as you waited for whatever he had to say.

your sweet boyfriend, who always had something to say about women's clothing, was staring at your body the hole time. he was a bit jealous, he didn’t want to let anyone see you.

"babe, what if we stay here?" he asked, hands on your waist. you weren't against that idea, but you were ready now and didn't had the means, needs or will to go back. "i'll be a good boy, please. let's just stay home."

god he was so cute calling himself a good boy- needless to say he wasn't a good boy.

he was already there, bouquet in front of his body.

"bleeding hearts," you beamed, smiling. "my favorite ones."

"yes, yes. brought them yesterday" he said, kissing your temple. "now, can we j-just.. stay at home?"

"why?"

"you're too pretty. i don't want others to see you dressed like that."

"like that..?"

"like that, yeah. like... i don't know?" he seemed to think for a long time, but he still didn’t had anything to say "like a..."

"like a slut?"

"yeah- wait, no. stop." you laughed, letting him frown and hugging him. "we'll talk about it later, babe. let's stay at home ok?"

"okay" he was more than happy to obey, kissing your lips and laying his head on your lap.

he was yours, in a way that nobody knew. nobody suspected that this boy was so weak for you, especially with the atrocities he spoke. still, he was yours. entirely yours.

[mymarsmoonandstars]

It's been a week since I saw Wakanda Forever, and ever since, it's consumed my thinking. There are a million things I'd love to discuss about the film, but what keeps me up at night is Shuri and Namor.

Shuri had every right to gut his ass. Namor brought flooding and destruction to her home, killed her mother, all while knowing she was suffering from the death of her brother. Hell, Namor nearly killed her (by impaling her, which how did she survive that idk, anyway). And what was the worst thing that Shuri had done to him? Say no to his alliance to go to war with the surface world? Shuri wasn't the one who killed Namor's two subjects. She actually tried to save them. Yet just like T'Challa, she's forced to deal with the consequences of other people's actions, and when she stands over Namor with a blade to his neck, her internal struggle with this flashes across screen. It's a powerful sequence, but the one that captures me the most is when we hear her mother telling her to show Namor who she is. Not only is it one of many callbacks to the first film, but really, who is she? Who is Shuri? She is struggling with her identity, as grief often does to a person.

When audiences first met Shuri, she was the genius younger sister, the comic relief, who took solace in her lab. But now all this has been taken from her, and taken so suddenly. She's now front and center, now her country's most powerful figure, no longer the jokester, no longer a sister, no longer a daughter, and feels like a failure. The moments where she stands over Namor is us watching her return to herself but also become someone entirely new. She sees the destruction reverse. Sees Namor's hope. Sees their mothers and their nations. She understands that they are similar just as much as they are different. She finally realizes that ending Namor's life cannot reverse the destruction nor her pain, but sparing him is the answer to ending the cycle of it. She recognizes that even though her mother and brother are gone, she is still sister, still daughter. Death in Wakanda is a beginning.

Above all, Shuri understands she cannot think of only herself anymore. She cannot push her people to war because of her own grief and vengefulness. She becomes a leader, in granting mercy. A protector.  And extends this protection by offering it to Namor and his people. This brought a bitter taste in my mouth at first, but it isn't about who's right or wrong, especially when both sides have a little right or a little wrong to them. It's about navigating the actions of their forebearers in the best way they can.

Her multifaceted character is symbolized by her panther suit--it's reminiscent of T'Challa, Kilmonger, and her past self. Now that she's burned her mourning clothes, hopefully in the next movie, we'll see her accept this role with newfound confidence and surity of its purpose. I'm also hoping that Shuri kept Namor's little baby ankle wing that she sliced off and puts it up somewhere to serve as a reminder that she bested him. Can you imagine? I can't wait to see more of her.

Then there's Namor. And dare I say it, he was justified in his feelings of wanting to kill Queen Ramonda. She was cunning and tricked him and had two of his people killed in the process. Remember the scene where he's cradling his subject's face as she dies? And she asks if he can save her and he does not answer because he knows he cannot? And then--was it Namora?--who says, with such blame dripping in her voice, that he was busy meeting with the queen during Nakia's attack. Namor is so angry, and very possibly, so ashamed (and scared?). His ultimate goal is to protect his people, and he failed. He's a god and Ramonda made him look like a fool. To him, she had to go.

Ryan Coogler said that despite Namor being about 500 years old, he wanted him to still feel somewhat childlike. And is he! He's rash. He focuses only on the immediate response without thinking of the ramifications. He seems almost charmingly innocent in his hopefulness that Shuri would want to join him. There's no doubt they wanted us to feel a romantic connection betweeen them, or perhaps just from Namor's end. I don't know who gives clearance on the music, but whoever does, they are always very intentional and unique about it, and a love song plays during That One Mesmerizing Scene. The theories that Namor is infatuated with Shuri just weaken me. She's the first person to ever see Talocan. The bracelet. The mural. Him acknowdging her power. Him waiting for her to beckon him. I. have. folded. No one look at me.

I really hope the MCU explores their relationship. And though I'm sure it would never be a romantic one, that does not make it any less intriguing. Ryan is phenomenal with his villains. Just like Kilmonger challenged T'Challa not just with war, but challenged his core beliefs, Namor did the same with Shuri. The only difference now is that Namor is still alive, and this sets us up for a delicious exploration of a complex relationship between two leaders who have similar wants but conflicting perspectives.

Man. I love them. MCU, please let us see more of them. And if we do, please. Be careful with them.