#anyways this is just me thinking about all the hilarious combinations that results in

[eorzeashan]

not to be that guy on main but I think SCORPIO would be the type to collect the Agent's genes and mix them with their partners and produce a full on test tube baby for them without asking and everyone on the ship is just like. wtf. that's what she means by specimen preservation.

[featherymainffins]

One thing about me is you can always count on me to want the character who is incomprehensible. People often say "Oh you're gonna want this one for sure" because they think I have a type. There's the secret: There is no type. The only type is confusion.

If the character you are showing to me is perfectly comprehensible and makes sense well unfortunately I will be normal about them. Horny? Perhaps. But to a normal degree.

Show me a cunt who makes no sense at all and it's over. I'm finished. KO'd. I'm done. It's over for me forever.

[bowtiepastabitch]

Historical Analysis: class and injustice in 'The Ressurrectionists' minisode

Alternate title: why we're tempted to be upset with Aziraphale and why that's only halfway fair

Okay so first off huge thanks to @makewayforbigcrossducks for asking the question (and follow-up questions lol) that brought me to put these thoughts all together into a little history nerd ramble. That question being, Why is Aziraphale so clueless? Obviously, from a plot perspective, we know we need to learn some lessons about human moral dilemmas and injustices. But from a character perspective? A lot of this minisode is about Aziraphale being forced to confront the flaws of heavenly logic. This whole idea that "poverty is ineffable" basically boils down to 'yeah some people are poor, but their souls can be saved just as if not more easily that way, so it's not our problem and they probably deserve it anyway for not working hard enough,' a perspective that persists in many modern religious circles. Aziraphale isn't looking at the human factor here, he's pretty much purely concerned about the dichotomy of good and wicked human behavior and the spiritual consequences thereof, because that's what he's been told to believe. His whole goal is to "show her the error of her ways." He believes, quite wholeheartedly, that he's helping her in the long run.

"the lower you start, the more opportunities you have"

So here's what we're asking ourselves: Why did it take him so bloody long to realize how stupid that is? Sure, he's willing to excuse all kinds of things in the name of ineffability, but if someone in the year of our lord 2023 told me he was just now realizing that homelessness was bad after experiencing the past two centuries, I'd be resisting the urge to get violent even if he WAS played by Michael Sheen.

Historical context: a new type of poverty

Prior to the 19th century (1800s), poverty was a very different animal from what we deal with now. The lowest classes went through a dynamic change leading up to the industrial revolution, with proto-industrialization already moving people into more manufacture-focused tasks and rapid urbanization as a result of increasingly unlivable conditions for rural peasantry. The enclosure of common lands and tennancies by wealthy landowners for the more profitable sheep raising displaced lots of families, and in combination with poor harvests and rising rents, many people were driven to cities to seek out new ways of eeking out a living.

Before this, your ability to eat largely would have depended on the harvest in your local area. This can, for our purposes, be read as: you're really only a miracle away from being able to survive the winter. Juxtapose this, then, with the relatively new conundrum of an unhoused urban poor population. Now if you want to eat, you need money itself, no exceptions, unless you want to steal food. Charity at the time was often just as much harm as good, nearly always tied deeply up in religious attitudes and a stronger desire to proselytize than improve quality of lie. As a young woman, finding work in a city is going to be incredibly difficult, especially if you're not clean and proper enough to present as a housemaid or other service laborer. As such, Elspeth turns to body snatching to try to make a better life for herself and Wee Morag. She's out of options and she knows it.

You know who doesn't know that? Aziraphale.

The rise of capitalism

The biggest piece of the puzzle which Aziraphale is missing here is that he hasn't quite caught onto the concept of capitalism yet. To him, human professions are just silly little tasks, and she should be able to support herself if she just tried. Bookselling, weaving, farming, these are all just things humans do, in his mind. He suggests these things as options because it hasn't occurred to him yet that Elspeth is doing this out of desperation, but he also just doesn't grasp the concept of capital. Crowley does, he thinks it's hilarious, but Aziraphale is just confused as to why these occupations aren't genuine options. Farming in particular, as briefly touched on above, was formerly carried out largely on common land, tennancies, or on family plots, and land-as-capital is an emerging concept in this period of time (previously, landowners acted more like local lords than modern landlords). Aziraphale just isn't picking up on the fact that money itself is the root issue.

Even when he realizes that he fucked up by soup-ifying the corpse, he doesn't offer to give them money but rather to help dig up another body. He still isn't processing the systemic issues at play (poverty) merely what's been immediately presented to him (corpses), and this is, from my perspective, half a result of his tunnel-vision on morality and half of his inability to process this new mode of human suffering.

Half a conclusion and other thoughts

So we bring ourselves back around to the question of Aziraphale's cluelessness. Aziraphale is, as an individual, consistently behind on the times. He likes doing things a certain way and rarely changes his methodology unless someone forces his hand. Even with the best intentions, his ability to help in this minisode is hindered by two points: 1)his continued adherance to heavenly dogma 2)his inability to process the changing nature of human society. His strongest desire at any point is to ensure that good is carried out, an objective good as defined by heavenly values, and while I think it's one of his biggest character hangups, I also can't totally blame him for clinging to the only identity given to him or for worrying about something that is, as an ethereal being, a very real concern. Unfortunately, he also lacks an understanding of the actual human needs that present themselves. Where Elspeth knows that what she needs is money, Aziraphale doesn't seem to process that money is the only solution to the immediate problem. This is in part probably because a century prior the needs of the poor were much simpler, and thus miraculous assistance would never have interfered with 'the virtues of poverty'. (You can make someone's crops grow, and they'll eat well, but giving someone money actually changes their economic status.) Thus, his actions in this episode illustrate the intersection of heavenly guidelines with a weak understanding of modern structures.

This especially makes sense with his response to being told to give her money. Our angel is many things, but I would never peg him as having any attachment to his money. He's not hesitant because he doesn't want to part with it, he's hesitant because he's still scared it's the wrong thing to do in this scenario. He really is trying to be good and helpful. So yes, we're justifiably pretty miffed to see him so blatantly unaware and damaging. He definitely holds a lot of responsibility for the genuine tragedy of this minisode, and I think Crowley pointing out that it's 'different when you knew them' is an extremely important moment for Aziraphale's relationship with humanity. Up until now, he's done a pretty good job insulating himself from the capacity of humans for nastiness, his seeming naivity at the Bastille being case in point.

In the end, I think Aziraphale's role in this minisode is incredibly complex, especially within its historical context. He's obstinate and clueless but also deeply concerned with spiritual wellbeing (which is, to Aziraphale, simply wellbeing) and doing the right thing to be helpful. While it's easy to allow tiny Crowley (my beloved) to eclipse the tragic nature and moral complexity of this minisode, I think in the end it's just as important to long-term character development as 'A Companion to Owls'. We saw him make the right choice with Job's children, and now we see him make the wrong choice. And that's a thing people do sometimes, a thing humans do.

~~~

also tagging @ineffabildaddy, @kimberellaroo, and @raining-stars-somewhere-else whose comments on the original post were invaluable in helping me organize my thoughts and feelings about this topic. They also provided great insight that, in my opinion, is worth going and reading for yourself, even if it didn't factor into my final analysis/judgement.

If I missed anything or you have additional thoughts, please please share!!! <3

[snarky-art]

Chimera and Cassandra!

In my rewrite, they’re both Lunarian , aka Deliosians (the actual name that most of them use to refer to themselves as)

Cassandra does indeed use Valtor’s influence to get them a higher ranking, in fact, the highest ranking one could get under Solarian rule.

Chimera is just a pawn in that, and although isn’t enthusiastic, is non the less shunned into obedience by their mother.

Info on their general storyline, content within my lore, and why I drew them Cassandra with a different skin tone and Chimera with a different hair texture below!

Cassandra ends up tanning to pass as more Solarian since they have an ethnic ancestry from those who stayed underground on Lunaria, which in my thing, results in them tending to have a paler complexion as well as increasing the likelihood for a paler hair color. Blond is considered a Solarian trait by those from Solaria, although the lightness of it would be considered Lunarian. Cassandra can just pass it off as being the result of some “impure Ancestry” though and that she’s mainly Solarian because,, the color of her hair, you see? Blond! And her iris color (also Lunarian, but she can claim the paleness is because of the small Lunarian part “tainting” it and resulting in phenotypic traits being less intense in hue) and that combined with her tan, she can prove she is Mostly Solarian,, right????

Spoiler alert: she’s totally 100% Lunarian.

In my thing, Stella will realize fairly quickly that Chimera is not someone who has much choice in this. On top of not being a willful participant, they hate pretty much everything about it. They straighten their hair because it’s easier than curling it to the 3c and various 4 texture curls that Solarian’s can have, but they still hate it. They refuse to tan or add glimmers or contacts to change their eyes. They don’t want to. Why should they?

Cassandra allows it, VERY begrudgingly. She can blame it all on Chimera’s father anyway (he had an ancestry from those who lived above ground hilariously enough, meaning his skin tone and hair color were darker overall, and he could’ve passed better as Solarian if he wanted to ((he didn’t for obvious reasons. Fuck Solarian Imperial rule.)) but shhhh he’s not in the political sphere there’s no reason for that information to pop up ever).

Even with all of this though, when all of this stuff is said and done, Stella can’t even really blame Cassandra.

For Cassandra, yes it is an attempt at a power grab, but, Stella also kind of Gets It.

“Well,, I can’t really blame her for this at the end of it all. I understand why she would want that power. How else would she get it? She’s Lunarian.”

She’s still pissed at her for doing what she could to get rid of her obviously and she thinks she’s a shitty mom, but the actual goal of trying to get on the throne? Stella goes, “well I think it’s fair to see why she would want more power. It’s not like they have much compared to me. To Solarians.”

And people are pissed she’s saying this, it was cute she was trying to play Dress Up and shit (how they referred to her connecting to her heritage from her mother, wearing actual Deliosian garb and paying respect to the Moons equally as much as the Suns). But she’s taking this seriously? Cassandra was just another power hungry Lunarian trying to get into court in a higher position. They’ve always wanted more than they have, say the Solarians in power.

Stella’s response? It’s because what they have isn’t equal.

The rest of the panel she’s speaking to during the court session: well,, I mean, that’s not the same as wanting equality-

Stella: why not? Because you’ve refused to give them independence. This wouldn’t be an issue if you did that. Or are you actually going to concede and give them equal representation?

The panel:…..

Stella ends it by pointing out she’s just as much Lunarian as she is Solarian. The panel hates it.

Stella and Chimera end up as sisters when everything is done, with Stella and Chimera referring to each other as such, and Chimera becomes one of the loudest people and a head representative for the Delios Independence Movement.

Cassandra is still in court sessions as a political figure, but is given shit for being such an ass to Stella and being seen as a shitty mom, forcing her daughter into this and using her mainly for a political pawn. It’s too soon to let her continue to hold influence though after the Valtor incident the others present decide, and she’s kicked out for a while. She’s still shit talked for the reasons previously mentioned, and for being a Lunarian that dared to want power, according to the Solarian Imperialists in court.

Stella invites her back after a time. Stella appreciates her thoughts on how to make things better for those of Delios because she knows Cassandra will never hold back on her real thoughts and feelings. Chimera and Cassandra don’t really talk after everything for a while, but eventually things do get better, and they do resume regular correspondence and communication. They’ll never be super close, but they know they can rely on each other when it counts.

[twisted-wonderland-shenanigans]

Just thought about Lilia's inability to cook combined with Kaiju AU (although potential emetophobia warning jic

Does he pick out gross-but-edible foods? Does he mash up a bunch of different stuff into a paste because some pesky little hatchlings will sometimes pick out the tastiest parts of food and refuse the rest unless it's all together? Does he try feed them similarly to how birds feed their kin? (like... Parent birds with baby birds, ya'know? Except indirectly because he massive)

I'm curious about your take on it lol

WARNING: Emetophobia (fear of vomiting) mentioned, but not discussed in detail!

Hoo boy, I think it’s hilarious how no matter which AU Lilia is in, he is just that bad at cooking. Even Malleus mentioned this when he was in the Culinary Chef event! 😂

Anyway, something I’d like to point out is that when Kaiju are born/hatched, they already have their starter baby teeth that help them eat and can start hunting live prey (like baby crocodiles and alligators!) that their parents/guardians bring them or even small (to them) bugs to chase and pounce on! So, they don’t really require milk or…well, being fed the way birds and penguins feed their babies. After all, these guys are meant to be the ultimate survivalist species! (Next to humans or water bears/tardigrades anyway…possibly even more so)

But yeah, so he’s going to be one of those ones who—much like Nevermore/Crowley and Crewelfang/Crewel—he does bring home food to feed his adopted children…only for Malleus to sneak in and bring the younger ones more fulfilling (and non-potentially-lethal) food after distracting him, destroying the evidence with the pools of lava nearby. Malleus may be young still, but he managed to help raise Silver and Sebek to teen/adult Kaiju-hood!

You are right in that when it comes to the younger of the Kaiju pups, he will mash up fruits with roots. After all, a growing Kaiju needs good, healthy foods that will make them stronger!...unfortunately, he doesn’t quite grasp the fact that most Kaiju can’t stomach some of the things he considers “good”.

“If it doesn’t kill me, then it’s safe for young hatchlings, right?”

Lilia…no. Stop. Silver passed out from your cooking in the game, don’t make it worse in this AU!

Anyway, so yeah, Lilia may try to feed Yuu and Grim when it’s Diasomnia’s turn to “cub-sit” (aka when none of the Alpha Titans/the staff—still thinking of a proper name for these guys as a pack are able to do it). Using a rock to mash up the food, it looks like a mix of toxic sludge—making it impossible to tell what it used to be made of even by smell! If it hadn’t been for the fact that Yuu and Grim watched him make it, they might’ve assumed the worst. >A<;

Luckily for these two, Sebek and Silver run interference while Malleus distracts Lilia, one grabbing the leaf “plate” of food while the other sneaks them a snack in the form of a fruit or a bit of meat (or both). After such an ordeal, Yuu and Grim will automatically cling to the closest Kaiju whenever Lilia tries to bring them something to eat. And when the Kaiju started learning the magical art of cooking with fire and smoke…?

Let’s just say that it looked perfect...at first. But he kept adding more and more ingredients to the meat, cooking it longer and longer and somehow managing to carve out a giant stone bowl to make a stew after seeing Yuu make something similar. The final result was something that looked like a purple and green swamp. Yuu could swear (which MIRA later verified) that some of those herbs and mushrooms he added to the dish were poisonous.

Outside of cooking, though, he can make the most comfortable nest using webbing and plant materials to create the softest nest imaginable! And while young ones sleep, he’s hanging upside down, watching and frightening off bold scavengers who think Yuu and Grim are easy prey. He does his best for sure, and I love him—just…keep him out of the Kaiju version of the kitchen 🤣

[youhavethewrong]

Horror/Comedy: The most elusive genre of fiction

 In many regards, it is easy to consider Horror and Comedy to be about as opposite as two genres can go. Horror seeks to cause dread and fear in the viewers, while comedy (usually) seeks to comfort them and improve their moods. A good comedy can help you feel better after a bad day - a good horror can completely ruin a good one. Maybe this is why these two don’t often collide. Another reason could be that although Comedy is easily combined with other genres, like the RomCom, Horror is hardly ever mixed. More often than not, it just branches out into other kinds of horror, like Psychological horror or Slashers.

 However, something that is easy to forget is that Comedy and Horror are far more similar than one would assume. Both rely heavily in misdirection, surprising the viewer with an unexpected result. Both require perfect timing to pull off, and... well, this is not really related to my point here, but both have a tendency to be done reaaally badly when the people making them don’t care. Hack Comedy uses the not-actually-funny shorthand of fart jokes and falling down, while Hack Horror uses the not-actually-scary shorthand of jumpscares and loud sounds. Anyways.

 So if they supposedly go hand-in-hand so well, why is it they almost never meet? How come there’s almost no horror/comedy? Well, for starters, they’re each separately extremely difficult to pull off. Making someone laugh is not fucking easy, and neither is scaring someone. They require tremendous amount of talent and effort to do separately, so at the same time? When they already feel opposite? Forget about it! Secondly, it’s already quite difficult to picture something that is equals parts funny and scary. How would you even do that??

The first thing that came to mind when thinking about horror/comedies were those Scary Movie movies. Though I don’t really think they fall into horror territory? They’re not scary at all, they’re just spoof movies. They don’t even come up with their own ideas, they just borrow from popular horror. And they’re not even fucking funny. Comedy (in quotes) with horror elements, not what I’m looking for.

 Then I started looking for artists that are good at making both Comedy and Horror. The one with the biggest audience right now is obviously Jordan Peele. It’s certainly curious to think how he went from making a sketch show to becoming a horror movie director! There’s certainly a conversation to be had about how making the former helped him become better at the latter. Problem is, he either makes one or the other, not both at the same time. So is he what I’m looking for at the moment? Nope!

 Then my mind then went to a favorite of mine: Jack Stauber. His unique way of creating art has allowed him to make both hilarious comedy and touchingly deep horror. His masterpiece Opal is one of the most unique takes on the Horror genre I’ve seen! It’s not only stop-motion, which is quite rare, but a musical, which is even rarer! However, that one’s just horror. What about his individual sketches? The one that got closest to what I’m looking for right now is Future, though it’s... pretty hard to say it’s a joke? I’m sure some people would find it funny, but it’s difficult to say whether it was intended as such.

 Don’t worry though, I didn’t come here just to talk about an idea that I thought of with 0 examples. The whole reason I wanted to make this post talking about Horror/Comedy is because I watched the perfect example, and it made me realize that I hadn’t seen much else quite like it. And the example I watched came... from The Onion

 Although The Onion hasn’t been on its... best streak lately - mostly reposting articles from 7 years ago and making unimpressive TikToks - the Youtube content they created in the late 2000′s early 2010′s was... brilliant. And I don’t mean that as in “funny”, I mean that as in brilliant. Expertly written, produced, and performed layered comedy that drove points home. In The Know with Clifford Banes, and Today Now! being two of my favorite pieces of satire comedy. The Onion also seems particularly qualified to tackle Horror/Comedy, as the heart of their satire was pushing the inherent darkness and cruelty of the 24 hour news cycle to its highest possible, most absurd degree. And tackle it they did, in their 9-episode mini series Porkin’ Across America

 Porkin’ Across America is a parody of travel shows, where Jim Haggerty, host of morning news show Today Now!, travels around the 50 states looking for the best pork he can find. As this happens, his life starts steadily falling apart in the background, unraveling into a grotesque cacophony of errors. This show is, in my opinion, the best example of the Horror/Comedy genre. Because it’s not just comedy with horror elements, or horror with comedy elements: it’s the perfect combination of the two. The setup - misdirection structure that gives both genres their kick is used in tandem, intertwined. Punchlines to jokes are also horrifying revelations and imagery. I won’t spoil the ending, but I’ll just say this: the last line that is uttered is both the hilarious punchline to a series-long running joke, and such a horrible thing to say at that moment that it will send shivers down your spine. I highly recommend watching it, but be warned: the specific type of horror this show uses is body horror. You’ll be laughing, but you’ll also be extremely uncomfortable by the imagery. Definitely avoid this if that’s not your thing.

 Horror/Comedy is one of the rarest genre combinations in fiction, for a variety of reasons. It’s difficult to pull off, horror hardly mixes with other things, and most people don’t even know it can exist. But it can! And when it’s done well it’s an extremely unique experience, one that I believe is worth experiencing.

 I hope my explanation of this topic was clear enough, and I’m really excited to hear what you guys think! Can you think of any other work that could be defined with this genre? If so, I’d really like to hear it~

 Thank you for reading this whole stupid thing if you did! Yui OUT!

[glassprism]

what are some of your favorite closing night performances? as in the actors know it's their last night and are just doing whatever they want/crying because they're sad/breaking the fourth wall/etc?

Honestly, I'm tempted to put every closing performance that I have on bootleg. And I'm going to give into that temptation! I'm going to stick with closing night of an actual production, not last performance of an actor or group of actors or last performance at a certain stop in a tour, otherwise I'll be here a while.

Vienna, 1993 - It's got two members of the original cast back and several funny ad-libs, plus it's one of the earliest videos I have of a production's closing performance.

Hamburg, 2001 - The show itself has some really fun moments, but the real highlight is the performance after, where the cast perform a beautiful, bittersweet combination of 'Think of Me' and 'Music of the Night'.

Stuttgart, 2004 - Three words: the third kiss. (But also Raoul saying "Mamma Mia" as a reference to the next show that was taking over the theater and as a response to Christine, is rather hilarious.)

Sao Paulo, 2007 - The performance itself isn't especially notable in any blocking changes; what is noticeable is the amount of sobbing audience members, especially after the kiss.

Warsaw, 2010 - I haven't even listened to the full audio of this, but it has someone singing along with Christine in 'Think of Me', an extended cadenza, someone going ham with the electric guitar during the title song - definitely one I need to listen in full.

Las Vegas, 2012 - Had a terrific moment where the audience kept clapping at the end of 'All I Ask of You', so Raoul and Christine kept kissing, so the audience kept clapping, so Raoul and Christine kept on kissing, resulting in perhaps the longest R/C kiss on record.

Sao Paulo, 2019 - Nothing too notable about this performance that I've seen, but the audience enthusiasm is so high! There's clapping everywhere!

That's off the top of my head. And if I have a bootleg of a production's last performance and it's not on this list, that's because they, uh, sucked. No, not really; I probably just didn't watch it or couldn't see or hear much that was memorable, maybe due to video or audio quality or lack of interest. Anyway, hope that provided some fun examples of closing night ad-libs!

[jasontoddssuper]

I got a bone to pick with Bakugou stans who ship him with Izuku and/or Shouto calling Orihime a bad person and Ichihime 'badly written'.Literally the first time we see Bakugou is him ganging up on another kid with his friends' help and Izuku standing up for said kid,which made Bakugou and his friends beat him too.Some time before that,he also gave Izuku an insulting nickname that's a play on his name(Deku)which means 'useless' and constantly bullied him for the next decade-and they were 4 when it started which means it was going on for over half their lives.And while Bakugou has developed into a better person,that dosen't really extended to Izuku.He still calls him that nickname that he gave him to degrade him instead of his name,he still yells insults at him,he's still physically violent to him and he SAYS he sees him as an equal now but he dosen't treat him that way.He's never treated him that way.It's the same vibe as Dabi saying he dosen't care about anyone but himself but how nice he is to the Lov and him becoming more villlanious than ever SPECIFICALLY after Hawks murdered Twice,who was his best friend,speaking something much different vs Hawks saying he just wants to do good but then murdering a man with DID(which while not seeming bad in-universe because of him being a villain,is incredibly ableist in a real life context)and actively supporting a child abuser and wife beater because he can't mind his bussiness instead of projecting his own trauma onto others at the expense of their victims.Back to Bakugou,he's no good to Shouto either-He's never apologized for telling him he dosen't care that Endeavor abused him because being a better hero than him is more important to him and has not once been nice to him-Not a single kind word or action to him in the entire manga.Being a team dosen't equal being friends and Shouto's not a real person anyway-Horikoshi's an abuse apologist as seen by the Todofam's writing in regards to Endeavor so of course he'd make the abuse survivor just stand there as someone bullies him

While Orihime?You couldn't find something as sweet as her in a bakery.Ever since her introduction,she's done her best to a good and bright person and she succeeds-She's a good friend by doing things like protecting Tatsuki when she first unlocked her Shun Shun Rikka to thank her for protecting her from bullies since they were in middle school and saying nice things to her friends all the time simply because she loves them and thinks they deserve it,she's selfless by trying to get stronger to protect people even though she has trauma to do with violence and is a pacifist as a result and dosen't take her jealousy of how important Rukia is to Ichigo out on her,she's caring to even people barely knows like Riruka.And you can't really use the argument that that makes her 'boring' because she's also absolutely hilarious because of how unashamedly silly she is(drooling over donuts and tearing up when denied them,drawing her future self as a killer robot,her Ichigo fantasies and so many other examples)and cool as fuck too-TELL ME you wouldn't want hairpins that have superpowered fairies in them that let you make unbreakable shields,heal people and even reject reality itself.No?Damn,have fun having no taste i guess.Orihime not becoming some ultra tough fighter is good writing because being gentle is a major part of her character and 'girly female character' does not inherently mean 'misogynistic female character'.And with all of that combined,Ichigo has every reason to be in love with her considering how much time they spend together!'But he obviously loved Rukia!'Yeah,as a best friend and found sister.I'm just as close to a good chunk of my friends as they are to eachother and you guessed it,i have no romantic interest in them and vice versa!!Ichigo thinks Orihime is as awesome as as she does him and cares for her as much too!Plus,the progression of their relathionship was fantastic-They were classmates with crushes on eachother at first,then became genuine friends as they fought together and got to know eachother better,then they started falling in love and they were so important to eachother by the final arc that Ichigo asked Orihime to fight the man who killed his mom by his side because he trusted her and only her to do it.

Which one of these looks better to you?The privilged bully who gets to be besties with his victims without actually ever improving his behavior or the teenage girl who chooses kindness and optimism again and again despite how much life beats her down who got to have her love returned because it?

[hexfloog]

Hakuba?

disclaimer: i haven't seen ep.479 yet, it's been a hot minute since i read magic kaito, and i wrote this after a few drinks

(in no particular order below the break)

they got done dirty by fans • despite being basically prototype shinichi (and, appropriately, looking a bit like the end product of using polymerization on him with shiho), he gets relatively little attention. obviously most of this is just due to the fact that he just doesn't appear in anything-- and hasn't for a not-insignificant amount of time-- but that and personality and flaws aside, i think it's kind of a shame because of most everything else on this list, such as...

wasted potential / didn't get enough screen time / they work better as part of a dynamic • his relationship with kaito is so funny. he heckles him """knowing""" that he's KID but has never actually 100% without-a-doubt, irrefutably confirmed it. he gets bamboozled every time but is just so dead set on it that he completely ignores kaito's repeated insistence that he isn't who he thinks he is and just continues to talk to him as if he's talking to KID and that's just hilarious to me. it's kind of like if conan never disclosed his identity as shinichi to heiji but heiji treats him like he does in current canon anyway. of these interactions by far the best one is the volunteering of valuable information to kaito in the middle of the chat noir heist as an under-the-table, backhanded sort of bidding of "good luck." it's a lesser mirroring of the relationship kaito has with conan - but arguably funnier since hakuba """knows""" the truth but conan does not (and likely does not care to, as it would not alter the dynamic). • the above, but now with the added hilarity of him being 1 of 3 members in a group of 4 (one of whom is JUST KAITO HIMSELF sksksk) who know that kaito moonlights as KID at the conclusion of MK1412. i'm a little mad this didn't continue like WHAT were they gonna do LMAO • adjacent to the above: his apparent (former? is he still into her?) infatuation with akako. obviously it's just/mostly a result of him being under her spell but it's so fucking funny that she still sort of notices him regardless. even if he is just a means to an end she calls upon him when kaito is in danger in sun halo, which is... wild?? akako is also member #2 of this KID group which makes this even funnier, deadASS what was the endgame of this group gonna be in practice LOLOL, everyone just uses everyone else as bait for something or other and the end goal of unmasking KID is just completely moot if 75% of them already know

wow! they are a horrible person

• you cAN'T JUST SAY THAT TO HEIJI AND GET AWAY WITH IT

• *wildly gesturing* YOU ALSO CAN'T JUST ACCUSE OTHER PEOPLE OF NEPOTISM (something something people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones etc. etc.)

• in the MK anime specials canon, hakuba has relatively little interest in capturing KID and instead uses him as bait iirc?? tbf they're all guilty of this in the MK1412 canon, but it rubs differently when spider is the prey they're trying to catch - different if only because he poses a legitimate threat to even kaito. even if he saves him before he's lost to the nightmare that's still something of a MASSIVE gamble, especially if both he and kaito combined are not much of a threat to spider T___T like this is like... how conan tends towards recklessness when the black organization is involved, including the disregard/failure to consider the full consequences of involving or using the people around him, villain or otherwise (pisco and itakura, at least, come to mind).

why do they look like that • he LITERALLY debuts in sherlock cosplay • his eyes are red?? hello???? (why is this so vivid in my memory but now when i try to look up screenies to corroborate they're brown in every single one of them)

whatever. they're red to me. makes things more interesting sksksks

i don't really have much to say about them / i forgot this character existed (am i the biggest lying liar or nah. look at all this text) • despite all of this, that's kind of all i have to say about him. i didn't do my homework and am drawing purely on memory and that's a little hard when he makes so few appearances even in the MK canon(s). MK in general has a lot of wasted potential tho imo and i think that extends to its primary cast too, including hakuba. personally i think he's far too wacky to mesh well into detco canon, in the same way that detco kaito is not quite the same as MK kaito.

all in all i think hakuba, unlike his successor, is really not at all tolerable on his own and works infinitely better with practically anyone else in the ekoda gang (but mostly kaito, bc they are both proprietors of a part of the MK-brand of Shenanigans).

anyway thank you for the character!! nice opportunity to think about the fellas i don't typically yammer about :D

[ptergwen]

sensation

w/c: 4.6k

warnings: some swearing, suggestive tings, and a pretty bad ending

summary: it’s the last night of your world tour, and tom has the perfect way to celebrate

a/n: i know y’all have been waiting for this one! everyone really loved when worlds collide but i ran out of ideas for it lol sorry... anyways my solution was to turn it into a oneshot :D based off the au!! i’m honestly nervous about posting this cuz a lot of you asked for it and i don’t wanna disappoint but i tried my absolute hardest to make it special <3 please enjoy

-

“thank you so much! we love you!” you shout to the audience, laughing breathlessly when they shout back. one of your dancers pulls you into a side hug, you throwing your arm around his neck. “we’re so fucking lucky you chose us, that you came all the way here. i’ve seen some of you back at night one. wow.” your voice gets wobbly, thinking about how loyal your fans are.

the tour started in new york, and they’ve followed you here to london.

tonight is an emotional night for everyone. you’re about to wrap your last show before you continue again in the summer. touring the u.k. has been a dream, and you’re just as thrilled to travel the rest of the world after your break. it’s bittersweet because you’re going to miss the hell out of your crew and the millions of lovely faces you’ve sang to each week. but, you do get to spend your time off with a special someone.

he’s watching you from the sound booth, sending fond smiles and loud cheers your way. thanks to you, tom has been at every show you’ve played in england. he brought harry along this time because he’s also a fan and wanted to see you. well, tom is more than a fan at this point. you’d say he’s more of a boyfriend. you haven’t discussed labels just yet.

your dates have mainly been over facetime, since you live on opposite sides of the world with insane schedules. a heartthrob actor and international popstar is quite the combination. you’ve only seen each other in person a couple of times, the first being pretty recently.

zendaya brought tom along to hang out with you in los angeles. he happened to be there recording some lines for a movie. she saw your concert earlier that night and invited him to crash the dinner plans you’d made, resulting in the best surprise and most fun you’ve ever had. the other time you enjoyed each other’s company was one weekend in paris. that was... something.

besides those two miracles, everything between you and tom happens through a screen. you’ll down bottles of champagne or keep warm under blankets while talking about your days. it’s nice, having someone on the other end who listens and actually hears you. tom gets it. you both do.

finishing your tour in london is convenient because not only will you have tom to comfort you, but you get to stick around for a while. he’s invited you to stay at his place. you can’t wait to meet the other holland’s, his friends, and obviously tessa.

“fuck, i’m gonna cry. i’m already crying,” you announce to the crowd, though they can tell from the tears streaming down your face. more dancers huddle around you and turn your single hug into a group one. you’re laughing and sobbing and holding on tight to everyone. fans bawl their own eyes out, the fact that this is it starting to settle in. the onstage crew even gets choked up, seeing you like this.

tom pouts from where he’s watching. he wishes he could run up there and squeeze you tight, but he’ll have to save that for when you’re done.

“i love you all so much, literally every single one of you in this room,” you tell everyone for the nth time tonight, swiping a perfectly manicured finger under your eyes. “my lighting crew, sound crew, my band, my fearless fucking dancers-“ a hiccup cuts you off. people burst into fits of giggles, which is a much needed tension breaker. you adjust your headset so the mic doesn’t pick up any other bodily noises.

grinning, you rest your arm on a shorter dancer’s shoulder, then go on. “sorry, sorry. i just wanna say, like, three more thank you’s before i get out of here.” there’s a chorus of no’s and encouraging whistles at the mention of you leaving. you blink back more tears to delay the breakdown you’re going to have. “thank you to my friends who always show up for me.”

with a knowing smile, you glance over at tom. “and, thank you to my more than a friend.” he smiles back, both hands held over his heart. harry elbows him in congratulations. more screaming erupts from the crowd as they realize where you’re looking and who you’re looking at. this will be sure to spark some headlines. whatever, you’re used to trending on every possible social media platform by now.

“this is the big one,” you preface, taking in a breath while everyone quiets down again. “thank you to you guys. for trusting me, for caring about what i have to say in any way. i feel your love. i really do, and i hope you feel mine.” your fans yell that they love you back, dancers gently swaying you side to side, emotions on high. there’s one last song, and it’s over.

“this has been the sensation tour, and i’ve been your host. was i good?” you try to lighten the mood, earning a bunch of what sound like positive shrieks. the earpiece you have in makes it hard to tell. “y’all were even better.” exchanging looks with your dancers, you pull out of the hug so you can get to your mark for the finale. they follow your lead. music comes through the speakers.

“i’ll see you again soon, okay? i promise. here’s sensation,” you introduce the song, immediately bursting into more tears. it’s torture to say goodbye. thankfully, you have the most incredible fans on earth, so they sing along with you at the top of their lungs. that includes tom and harry, your ultimate stans.

when the show is over, you run right off stage and over to tom. he’s waiting on the side with actual heart eyes for you. you practically leap into his arms, a hand cradling the back of his head, both his arms draped low and tight around your body.

“you were so amazing up there! absolutely smashed it, darling,” tom breathes out. his face is smushed between your neck and mostly bare chest. “thanks, tom. seriously, thanks for being here tonight and every other.” you smile a tired smile and wind your other arm around his neck. he presses some light you’re welcome kisses to your skin. “mm, thanks for having me. how’s it feel to be done?”

you sigh, fingers running through his curls. “like the biggest relief, and also really sad.” you’re such a mess that you could cry again on the spot. tom senses it and lifts his head up to see if you’re alright. “super depressing,” you surprisingly reiterate without the waterworks. “i know the feeling. you’ll be back soon, though. you said it,” he murmurs, a grin on his lips as they brush against the corner of yours.

you’re about to kiss him properly, then one of your dancers comes up to you. you’d forgotten that there are still stage managers and security everywhere, too. you get completely lost in tom whenever you’re together.

“you killed, babe,” coco greets you, linking your arm in hers. tom takes the hint and lets go of you. he watches on with a smirk. “nah, you murdered,” you send the compliment back and bite your lower lip. “i dunno, i feel like someone murdered me!” there’s coco with her dramatics. she’s genuinely hilarious, your shared sense of humor playing a huge part in your friendship.

she brings your free hand to her heart. you gasp at how fast it’s going. “that shit is really beating, coco. are you, like, okay?” “probably not. it was the freestyle that got me.” coco went a lot harder than usual tonight, since it was her last big dance break for a while. she puffs air from her cheeks and nods to tom. “this your man?”

“yeah, you could say that. i’m tom,” he answers, holding out a hand for her. “coco.” she pulls it like you would in a handshake. you beam at them, one of your best friends and unofficial boyfriend finally meeting. “sounds promising. i approve,” coco mutters to you. bumping your hip into hers playfully, you take one of tom’s hands in both of yours.

“aw, we have your blessing or something? your permission?” you coo and get a push at your shoulder from coco in return. tom chuckles, his thumb running over the back of your hand. “no! i was gonna say you should bring him out back,” coco clarifies, like it was obvious. you’re not sure what she’s on about. “uh, what’s out back?” you question. “an axe?” tom teases.

coco gestures to the nearest exit. “we’re having a little goodbye party in the parking lot. fire pit, snacks. remember?” nope, you’d completely forgotten. the idea first sounded like the perfect way to end your night, so you agreed to go. that was before you were dripping sweat and mentally exhausted. now, all you want to do is unwind with tom and tom only.

the superstar life is one you’re happy to lead, just not at this exact moment.

“i do now.” you muster up your most apologetic smile for coco, tugging on tom’s hand. “i’m sorry, co. i think we’re gonna pass.” her jaw drops. you’re never one to skip these things. “aw, for real? it’s our last night!” tom threads his fingers through yours while you talk. “bro, we’ve been together for almost a whole year,” you laugh out, nuzzling your cheek into tom’s chest. “get sick of me.”

“never,” coco deadpans. she catches you gazing up at tom, relaxing as his arms hug your middle. she’s known you long enough to tell what’s a fling and what’s real love for you. this is something special, and she can’t get in the way of it. she’ll let you navigate this yourself. “ok, just for tonight. you’ll text me?” coco gives you a real smile, raising an eyebrow at tom. he gathers that’s a good thing. he’s in.

“mhm. maybe we can hang out tomorrow,” you agree and let your eyes flutter shut. all that’s keeping you up are tom’s strong arms. “tell everyone i love them.” “i think they know.” coco shakes her head lightheartedly. tom laughs at her. “be good,” she tells him and means it, rubbing your back on her way to the lot. that leaves you and tom alone at last.

custodians are cleaning up the arena, fans are piling out, and you’re clinging to tom while his steady heartbeat grounds you. this is the only after party you need.

“harry’s got the car when you’re ready,” tom mumbles, tucking a piece of damp hair behind your ear. you loop your arms around his torso with a hum. “i was kinda wondering where he went.” “yeah?” he gives you a small smile. “gotta ask what he thought... of the show.” yawns are creeping past your lips, tonight’s events catching up to you.

“i like feedback from the fans, or stans,” you elaborate in your sleepy state. tom uses his fingertips to tap your temple. “what about me? i’m your biggest.” “i’ll, um, follow up with you later.” your words are slurring. “right now, home.” warmth spreads throughout tom’s entire body, his house becoming yours for a bit. “your chariot awaits,” he affirms before helping you to your dressing room.

after collecting your things, you follow tom out to the car. harry is in the driver’s seat, and you two slip into the back. he exchanges a look with his brother through the mirror while you settle on his shoulder. you’re hugging his bicep, his lips pressing to the side of your head.

“thank you for driving,” you speak softly to harry. he starts to pull out of the spot with a nod. “no problem. get to say i was y/n y/l/n’s chauffeur.” tom clicks his tongue even though harry is joking. you snicker at his remark, joking back. “you want the job? better be a five star ride, then.” your banter brings yet another smile to tom’s face. his family is everything to him, so seeing you get along so well means the most.

“right, right. did you have a good time?” harry wonders, twisting to see behind him while he turns around. he also peeks at you snuggled up to tom before facing forward. “great, actually. did you?” you check, the grin clear in your voice. harry goes into full stan mode. “no shit! you were brilliant, y/n. god, every note was just like how you did it the studio.” he’s raving, which is much appreciated by you.

“good answer.” tom shoots his brother a wink. “‘s that what you wanted to hear?” he asks in reference to your conversation earlier. your response is a kiss to his shoulder. “yay. i’m happy you liked it, harry.” he buzzes with excitement, having his favorite artist care what he thinks.

not much is said for the rest of the drive. tom and harry make some hushed conversation about golfing this weekend while you struggle to stay awake. they’re obsessed with that damn sport. it’s honestly nice to see, that tom has something he likes to do when he isn’t shooting hollywood’s biggest movies. your free time will finally give you the chance to discover other hobbies.

you stumble out of the car upon arriving to the boys’ place, a backpack on your shoulders and tom’s hand held tight in yours. you’ve got only a few essentials with you for tonight. the rest is on the tour bus, so you’ll gather it after your hangout with coco. besides, everything you need at the moment is right here.

“home sweet home,” tom announces as harry unlocks the front door. his words bring a tired smile to your face. “finally,” you exhale, keeping your fingers laced with tom’s and following the two of them inside. “i could show you around a bit, give you the grand tour. or-“ tom stops talking, feeling your weight on him. harry huffs at how oblivious his brother is.

“mate, she’s falling over. save it,” he suggests and kicks the door shut lazily. you’re done in. you’ve been having to lean on tom since the show ended. “another time, then,” tom mumbles, securing his arm around your waist. “there is one thing i wanna see.” your voice is low, body curled into tom’s side. he raises an eyebrow. “and that is?” “your room.”

tom takes that in a suggestive way, like he does most things. “we’re getting right to it, are we?” he questions, harry gagging and you nudging his arm with your head. “not like that, dummy. ‘cuz i’m sleepy.” there’s a beat of silence. “ask me again in-“ “wow, look at the time!” harry interrupts so he doesn’t have to hear the details. he’s sure he’ll witness enough after it happens. “off to bed i go! goodnight.”

he rushes to get to his room, yelling out, “great show, y/n!” on the way. “thank you! night!” you call back, tom letting out a sigh. “div of the century,” he says under his breath. “must run in the family,” you playfully retort. that gets you a firm poke at your side. “where’s everyone else?” you glance up at him. there should be two other idiots and a lovely, furry lady running around.

“tuwaine’s gone to the pub, harrison’s filming late, and tess is at mum and dad’s,” tom fills you in, grabbing your arm and draping it around his middle. doing him one better, you hug him with both. you squint in confusion about the last part. “they watch her when i’m out,” tom answers your unspoken question. “ah,” you nod, then deflate ever so slightly. “i wanted to meet her, though. the other boys, too.”

tom smooths the pad of his thumb over your cheek. “you will, darling. it’s only for tonight.” he kisses the same spot reassuringly. “we’ve got loads of time.” “yeah, we do,” you agree, instantly cheering up and letting your head fall onto his chest. “now, where’s your room?” “just upstairs. you need some help getting in?” he’s only playing around, but you accept, tightening your arms around his neck.

“show me the way,” you beam at him. “happy to.” tom wiggles his eyebrows, you jumping up. your legs wrap around his waist, his arms holding you against him. with a satisfied hum, you squish your face into his insanely soft shirt. “what a diva,” tom sarcastically complains while taking you to the staircase. “doesn’t even say please. no manners from this one.”

“you try dancing in six inch heels for two hours,” you shoot back, patting the side of his neck. he moves one hand down to your thigh for a better grip. you’re nearing the top of the stairs. “think i’ll leave that to you,” he decides and squeezes your thigh. “look at me, carrying the whole music industry.” your face easily gets hot and your words turn to murmurs. “shut up. you should listen to other songs.”

you’re on the second floor now, tom going for the first door. he frowns at his rejected compliment. “no, i like yours. they’re my favorite.” “really?” your muffled laugh sounds from his chest. “what was the first thing i ever said to you?” he asks, a toothy grin on him even though you can’t see it. you recall the faithful night he slid into your dms while he carries you into his room.

he’d tripped over his words somehow, the fangirling fool. before that, he tweeted to the whole world that he wanted to see you in concert. it was a huge thing, and people were freaking out about it, even more so when your online interactions became routine. that’s nothing compared to where you are now.

you’re currently living with him and basically dating. possibly, in love. the base of it all really is your music.

“that you love me.” you pause for the ellipses. the corners of your lips turn up. “but, you really meant to say my work.” “both apply.” tom passes that off like it’s a side comment, carefully laying you down on his bed. you look up at him with a curious glint in your eyes. “what does that mean?” his cheeks flush, and he bites back the smile that’s growing. this was supposed to go... differently.

you sit up, breathing out a laugh at tom’s boyish behavior. he’s precious, truly. “you do love me?” those three words will change everything if he says yes. he takes both your hands in his and holds them between you two. you meet his doe eyes. “yeah, y/n/n. i do.” so, you were right. “i love you... and, that wasn’t how i planned on saying it.” signaling for him to elaborate, you tilt your head to the side.

tom sits down next to and faces you before continuing. “it was supposed to be romantic, right?” he rolls his eyes up to the ceiling, annoyed he ruined this. “candlelit dinner, flowers, that sort of thing. seems more fitting for the occasion.” you shift closer to him until your knees are touching. your face is lit up, voice dropped to almost a whisper.

“since when do we do things the way we’re supposed to?” you point out and set your hands on his shoulders. “we’ve gone straight from online dating to me moving in. that’s usually not how it works.” tom chuckles lowly. his own hands find their place on your hips. you’re so good with words. then again, you are a singer. “guess you could say we’re, um, spontaneous,” he agrees, fingers drawing circles on you.

you and tom have explored some of each other’s most intimate places, yet you’ve never shared a moment quite like this. it’s like meeting him for the first time again. he’s too tongue tied to spit out what he wants. you somehow know, anyway. what you cherish most about your relationship is that you two completely and totally understand one another, on every level.

“tom?” you speak quietly, butterflies filling up your body. “hm?” he hums back. this is one of those moments where it all just clicks. “i love you. i really, really love you.” you giggle out of the pure happiness that consumes you, tom joining in your laughter. “i love you, too.” he sounds like he’s said it a million times and he’ll say it a million more. he leans over so his forehead rests on yours. “really, really love you.”

your warm breath hits his face, eyes darting from his own to his lips. “i want you to be more than...” you trail off, unsure of how to phrase it. “more than... more than a friend?” tom pokes fun at what you said during the show. there’s less and less space between you with every second. “you mean, like, a boyfriend?”

“exactly. be my boyfriend,” you all but demand. you’re half asleep and desperate to be able to call him yours already. “bossy, bossy, bossy,” tom chastises, swiping his thumb across your bottom lip. how he goes from being shy and giddy to the cockiest person alive in minutes, you’ll never know. “please?” you throw in to sway him. your hand locks with his, slowly moving it off your face.

you run your tongue over your teeth. “at least kiss me.” “you don’t have to ask,” tom breathes, lips now ghosting over yours. “i was going to.” true to his words, he closes the microscopic gap between you, you pushing forward against him as you kiss back. your first kiss in love. his lips taste like the chapstick he always uses, and he moves them softly.

he places a hand on your knee, you opening your mouth so he can have access to it. instead, a yawn exits. tom pulls back with a breathy laugh. “you must be exhausted, yeah? let’s get you to bed.” he pecks your lips once more. “my girl needs her beauty rest.” that confirms your relationship. you scrunch your nose and grin wide. “and, she’s gonna get some with her boy.”

you’re reminded of how sweaty you are when you catch a whiff. “oof, wait. do you think i can take a shower first?” you grimace, fanning at the air for emphasis. tom uses the tip of his nose to nudge yours. “absolutely. need help in there, too?” he’s not asking in that way, only so nothing happens. the hospital wouldn’t be the most pleasant place to spend your break. plus, he doesn’t want to be without you too long.

“you know what? yeah.”

that’s how you end up intertwined under the hot water, letting it cascade down your back as tom hugs you close to him. you sigh in content and tangle your fingers in his fluffed over curls. you’ve learned that he’s super into having his hair played with. it’s endearing, how he instinctively leans into your touch, eyes closing as you tug on the roots.

he drops his head down to kiss your shoulder, dragging his lips to your collarbone in a way that tickles. they land on one of your breasts next. there isn’t anything sexual about it, only loving. just in case he gets too excited because it’s not uncommon he does, you gently put a finger to his lips. tom takes the hint and lets up. you continue combing through his wet hair while you step out of the water.

“do you ever sing in the shower?” he questions, drawing your naked body in closer to his. “sometimes, yeah. i honestly feel like i sound better there,” you admit and slide your hand down to the nape of his neck. tom’s tongue darts out to lick his lips. “not true. you sound beautiful everywhere, and don’t fight me on this one.” he smirks in satisfaction, you groaning at your loss.

“i really enjoy hearing your voice when it blares through an arena, though,” tom keeps buttering you up. you shake your head and settle both arms around his neck. “man, i just love you so much.” “i love you, sweetheart,” he murmurs back, you switching places so he can give his hair a final rinse. you watch him and his glowing body, admiring the sight.

“what a sensation you are,” you say mostly to yourself, which doesn’t stop him from hearing. “i see what you did there.” he eyes you while you do the same to him. your arms still around his neck pull him back to you. “tommy? do you sing in the shower?” you meant to ask him before, then he started throwing all those compliments at you.

tom scoffs, walking you back so you’re against the wall. “i don’t sing anywhere.” “what?” you gasp and put a hand on his chest. “you’re lying, you have to be. wasn’t billy elliot a musical?” he narrows his eyes at you as he tries to gage where you’re going with this. “that i did a decade ago, and way before puberty. couldn’t sing a word without cracking after that.”

your mouth is left hanging open in shock and disappointment. you bet he has a nice voice, and he’s downplaying it. “y/n,” tom begins, cupping your jaw with his palm. “since we’re living together now, there’s a lot you’re going the learn about me. good things, weird things.” he shrugs casually. “this is one of the weird things.”

“only because you make it weird! come on, let me hear you,” you request and wrap a leg around his waist. you’re giving him a hopeful smile. “god, no. you’ll hate it,” he almost laughs, a hand on your thigh. “i’m literally a singer. how could i hate something i love?” you refute, batting your lashes at him. “especially when someone i love is doing it.” “i love you, too. but, i’m not.” he’s quick to shut you down.

“drop a bar!” you try to coax him, which he already has a comeback for. “you first.” “i can’t. my throat is all scratchy from earlier,” you lie. tom presses his lips into a line, feigning pity. “aw, you know what’ll make you feel better? tea. i’ll go get you some.” he turns to shut the water off, so you grab his shoulders. “no, the steam is working. you can stay.”

“love,” tom addresses you in a warning tone that you can’t take seriously. he can’t either, a giggle escaping him. “my voice is shit. ask anyone, and they’ll tell you.” “i won’t believe them,” you hum, pushing back curls sticking to his forehead. “sounds like you just have stage fright. we can work on that, though.” “how?” he tightens his arm around your middle.

“i’ll bring you on for my next show. we’ll do a little duet.” you’re joking, though that would definitely be interesting to see unfold. “uh, never. what happened to you being tired?” tom cleverly deflects and digs his fingers into your side. you look down in defeat. “i forgot about that.” “yeah, yeah. no, seriously. we should really get to sleep, y/n/n.” he’s back to his sweet, attentive self. “‘s been a long night.”

giving in with a nod, you capture his lips in yet another kiss. tom never gets tired of them, and neither do you. you break it after a few seconds, lips lingering on his as they detach. “carry me?” you ask again, not caring how whiny you sound. tom presses a quick kiss to your forehead. “oh, you’re adorable. of course.”

well, you’ve found something to keep you occupied until the next leg of tour. you’re going to discover the many layers your intriguingly unusual boyfriend has.

[xaharadesert]

Accidental Potion Drinking - Headcanon

Arcana Characters (Main 6) x MC

A/N: This is one of the super cute requests I’ve gotten from @firefly-child! It’s taken some time to get to it (as I’m currently working through older requests), but I’m super excited to write something light and fluffy :) the backstory provided was along the lines of MC and their LI having a little wine night when MC accidentally grabs the wrong bottle and they end up drinking a harmless potion instead, which is a really fun request! I don’t know anything about wine, so I’ll just casually skirt around that issue by leaving it to the reader’s imagination, but since the type of potion was left up to me I’ll definitely be having some fun describing the effects! Please let me know if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes, and requests are open!

TW: drinking, consumption of alcohol, tipsy characters, mentions of alcohol, sorry I don’t really know how to tag for this kind of thing, but the alcohol bit is really only mentioned briefly to set up the scene

❤️Julian❤️

It didn’t take long to realize that you had grabbed the wrong bottle, considering that after the two of you had taken a few sips of what you had thought was wine you had both started slowly floating upward

There were a few moments where Julian thought to himself “wow, this stuff must be pretty strong, I kinda feel like I’m floating” before he realized that, oh, he was, in fact, floating

This was followed shortly after by only a second of panic, which quickly turned into delight when he remembered he was dating a magician and this sort of thing was probably normal for you

Honestly though, as endearing as it would be for him to simply trust that you were pulling a harmless prank, you would probably be panicking a bit more because oh my stars you grabbed the wrong bottle and which potion was this exactly?

But of course, Julian has an infectious laugh, and seeing as you were already a bit tipsy and nothing majorly bad was currently happening, you dissolved into a fit of giggles as well

By now the two of you were drifting near the ceiling (thank goodness you were inside), laughing at each other as you tried not to spin too far apart

The effects of the potion wore off a few minutes later, seeing as you had only had a few sips each, and you settled down peacefully, no harm done

🧡Portia🧡

The two of you had been having a rather peaceful evening, for once devoid of any sort of job or task that needed tending to

You were genuinely relaxing, drinking wine and telling bad jokes that would send you into full-bellied laughter— the kind that only seemed to grow whenever you tried to stop

With that being said, it wasn’t that surprisingly when the two of you developed a bad case of the hiccups after a while

What was surprising were the bubbles that floated from your mouth afterward

Although you were initially confused, Portia’s obvious delight at the magical turn of events quickly dissuaded your worries

She was always thrilled whenever you performed even the smallest bit of magic in your daily life, and this was no different, even if it was an accident on your part

Her hiccups only seemed to get worse as she laughed harder, tears of joy starting to spill from her eyes

The mood was infectious, and you would find yourself joining her in her pure delight

Small moments of joy such as this permeated your relationship, but this one in particular would always be a favourite of Portia’s, she was sure

💛Lucio💛

You know, even with Mercedes and Melchoir’s incessant barking, you two had been having a rather relaxing evening, sharing your favourite wines with each other as Lucio regaled you with endless stories of his epic past battles and parties

However, as always, things took a turn in the most unexpected way

The two of you had only taken a few sips of a bottle you had brought out when you noticed the dogs’ barks seemed to sound… different

You tuned out Lucio for a moment and came to the realization that you were, in fact, hearing actual genuine words coming from the dogs’ mouths as they yelled at Lucio, an endless chant of “Dad, dad, dad!”

Lucio seemed to have not noticed, so you gave him a gentle shove and motioned for him to be quiet and listen to the dogs, which promptly lead to his own eyes widening and his mouth hanging open as he processed what was happening

He was thrilled, obviously, to be able to communicate with his beloved dogs, and all thoughts of the story he was telling were forgotten

In all honesty, Mercedes and Melchior didn’t seem to have a lot to say other than “Dad!” and “Love!”, but Lucio’s eyes were brimming with tears anyway as he hugged his dogs close

Let’s be real, having the opportunity to tell a beloved pet that you love them and to have them understand it would be one of the greatest feelings of all time, and Lucio was determined to not waste a second

What may have been a small mistake on your part was one of the greatest moments of Lucio’s life, in his words

💚Muriel💚

It wasn’t noticeable at first— then again, Muriel’s voice was rather deep

But after a few more sips, you couldn’t deny it; his voice was definitely getting higher

He had been in the middle of telling you about something funny one of the chicken’s had done that day, and you had been quietly listening, but now you absolutely had to know

So, as politely as possible, you interrupted him, only to find that, oh, yeah, your voice was much higher than before

Both of you seemed pretty shocked, but let’s be honest, it’s hard not to laugh when it sounds like both of you had just inhaled helium, which, apparently, was the effect of the potion you had accidentally poured out for the two of you to drink

Muriel tried to stifle his laughter, but failed miserably as you embraced the situation and let out a long and loud sound of joy

There was no harm in drinking the potion, luckily, so the two of you decided to continue as you were, telling stories in the most serious voices you could while trying not to burst out laughing

💙Asra💙

Most evenings you spent alone with Asra were filled with quiet laughter and gentle light continuing to illuminate the room even after the sun had bid you goodnight, and today was no different

You had opened a new bottle of wine just a few minutes prior, despite both you and Asra having slightly rosy cheeks from being a bit tipsy already

The cozy light of the lantern above your head reflected off of him in a way that almost made him seem like he was glowing, although combined with the way he dressed it wasn’t very unusual

That was until you reached out to him to push aside a stray curl from his face and subsequently realized that relative to you, he really was very much actually glowing

You had been telling him about a particularly stubborn customer earlier, and as a result, hadn’t had as much to drink, so the difference was clear

He picked up on your surprise quickly, and reached up toward his own hair, thinking perhaps there was something stuck in it that startled you, only to also see his skin was glowing with a faint light

Of course, he knew as well as you did that potions were often misplaced in the shop when there was no real urgency to keep them sorted, so he knew right away what was happening, and, frankly, he found it hilarious

If you were at all apprehensive about drinking random potions while tipsy, Asra would have been pick to put those thoughts from your mind by quickly downing more of the potion and snuffing out the lantern

This on it’s own would have been a funny sight, but when he smiled widely at you and you noticed that even his teeth were glowing with a bright white light, you wouldn’t have been able to do anything but laugh, which, of course, had been his plan all along

He would encourage you to drink the potion as well so the two of you could wander around in the darkened Vesuvian streets and scare other citizens :)

💜Nadia💜

Wine nights with Nadia are pretty common— it’s one of her favourite ways to unwind after a long day of working to improve Vesuvia

However, she’s usually the one providing the wine (seeing as she’s a very wealthy Countess), so nights like this one, where you brought over some of your favourites to share, were rather uncommon

The two of you weren’t particularly tipsy when you accidentally poured a potion into her glass instead of wine— an accident that you immediately recognized when Nadia morphed into an entirely different person in front of your eyes

Nadia herself seemed a bit surprised as well, seeing as the effect of the potion usually left the user with a mild child down their spine

You were quick to point out the error and apologize, but to your confusion Nadia seemed thrilled with the mistake

Blending in with Vesuvia’s population to gain a better understanding of her people was something she had always struggled to do, but you had just handed her the perfect opportunity

Wine forgotten, she grabbed your hand and lead you toward what was sure to be one of the most adventurous nights you had ever had in Vesuvia

[okeydrama]

every drama i’ve seen so far pt.3

record of youth

4/5

so beautiful & aesthetically pleasing

very lighthearted, like a slice of life more than a melodrama

Park Bo Gum <3

both male leads are super cute, I liked how they were both just nice

subverts a lot of traditional drama tropes, it didn’t feel as predictable as other dramas

there was a lot of cute scenes between the leads that made the romance very believable

it was easy to watch until the end, I didn’t really lose interest very often

the leads and most of the side characters were very flushed out in their motivations, dreams and purposes

it’s just so cute

I took a star off because of a few unnecessary scenes, plots and twists but they were not that bad

weightlifting fairy Kim Bok-joo

5/5

wow wow wow

this is one of the most iconic dramas i’ve ever seen

this is a friends to lovers drama which is not something we see often

the leads have so much chemistry and it makes sense that they dated in real life

the female lead is not traditionally feminine and it is so refreshing

the male lead is also not traditionally masculine and it makes him really likeable

the drama itself is hilarious and has many quotable sayings

the characters in this drama also have really flushed out motivations

the found family is iconic

the pacing of this drama was well done

the love triangle was interesting because you don’t necessarily root for her with the second lead but it is realistic portrayal of a teen girl’s coming of age

i just loved all aspects of this drama

true beauty

5/5

another one of my FAV dramas of all time

i was very hesitant about this drama because of the premise and not absolutely loving the webtoon but i gave it a chance and i absolutely don’t regret it

the pacing, energy, tone and aesthetics of this drama were not only consistent but were SO incredible

i had heavy second lead syndrome the entire time but unlike usual, i still loved the main lead and was fully invested in both leads scenes with the female lead

besides the main leads, the side characters were just as incredible

the secondary romance with the female lead’s sister was so cute!!! i genuinely watch an entire drama of just their romance

the female lead’s brother’s romance was engaging as well

unexpectedly, i cried because of this drama which, trust me, i never do and it was because of the incredible representation of mother daughter relationships

the message of this drama was misrepresented in my opinion and is much better than its portrayal

my only complaints are that the horror comic aspect of this drama should have been played up and that the bullying and addressing of bullying could have been touched on more or at least better

love alarm S2

2/5

this was very much a waste of my time

i think i’ve outgrown this story honestly because i was not at all invested in this season

basically, i love that she didn’t end up with the first season’s main lead, i think the person she ended up with was more suited to her and will treat her better

i also liked the maturity of this season compared to the last

the last thing liked was the sweetness of the romance

that being said, this is was mind bogglingly boring to me

the side plots and messages were unnecessary and took up too much airtime

the romance was also unnecessarily drawn out

the tone of this season was completely different than the last and it was a negative change in my opinion

the slow pace, drama and characters were not engaging

this was extremely dramatic and whimsical and it didn’t work for me in this story

yeah... just generally not a fav

reply 1988

5/5

THIS IS IT THIS IS IT THIS IS IT

i have never ever seen anything like this

this is the perfect show, like absolutely perfect

the depictions of familial, platonic and romantic relationships was PERFECT

the nostalgic vibe of this setting was incredible

the settings, wardrobes, objects and events were so well done

never has a show so perfectly invested me in every single character’s story while having so many characters

when i tell you i watched this entire thing in 2 days despite its length, i am not joking

i could not look away or think about anything else for the entirety of watching it and for a week after

there is an element of mystery with who the female lead ands up with and i was personally VERY happy with the result

another drama that i cried watching MULTIPLE times

the representation of different families, romances and personalities was incredible

there were so many scenes that were placed in that were not related to the plot and that was perfect because it was like we were watching their daily lives and interactions and made the watcher love the characters so much more

it is such a sweet, low stakes watch and such a slice of life story

some of my favorite plots: the father daughter relationship, the single-father son relationship, the single-mother son relationship, the protest storyline, the smart-mean-girl nice-good-boy love story, the moments over time create love, the first crush story, the working-mom son relationship, the found family group, the not knowing what the future holds and SO MANY MORE

reply 1997

5/5

i obviously had to watch another show in the reply series

i also LOVED this one

this was more focused on just the kids in the families rather than the families as a whole

the romances were so cute in this drama, and there were more romantic scenes compared to 1988, which i loved

the stan culture depiction in this drama was so interesting and fun to watch

i can’t express how much i loved that she was a kpop stan like it was so entertaining

this felt like a really good depiction of high school and how high schoolers are

i loved the vide of this drama too, the high school and concert setting were very immersive and comforting

the main lead’s romance was SO cute and i fully developed a crush on the male lead

it really felt like i was in 1997 Korea and it was so nice

the gay character representation!!!!! like this is HUGE for a kdrama and especially one set in 2012

I LOVED the female lead, she was so cool

the characters’ growths were so good and well done just wow

i will say that 1988 was better because of the elevation of the familial bonds and the general plot connections but the romances of this one were a lot more developed simply because there were so many scenes

they tried to do a mystery ‘who does the female lead end up with’ but it was very predictable compared to in 1988

hands down another favorite of mine

love in the moonlight

3.5/5

this was a hard one to rate

the romance for me is a 5/5 but the rating went down for a lot of reasons

firstly, i’m a huge fan of sageuk and this drama was a perfect one

Park Bo Gum <3

i think the leads ahead a lot of chemistry

i loved the side characters a lot, and especially the female lead’s friendships with them

the settings and aesthetics were A1

the banter was great

the plot was great and believable

the reason i had to lower my rating comes down to few minor issues that compiled so much that it hindered my enjoyment

the first issue i had is that here were SO many third act conflicts like waaaayy too many

the characters got together way too early so you can tell the writers created a bunch of issues to keep them apart and it could have been avoided if they hadn’t done that

the plot started imposing too much on the main storyline towards the end and i didn’t love that

the second lead was good compared to how they’re usually written so it was extremely bothersome that the love triangle wasn’t made believable, not once did i believe the female lead had any romantic feelings toward him

just generally the individual aspects of this drama were very good but when combined it was all over the place and not cohesive

anyway that’s the update, if anyone has any recommendations for me, please let me know. thanks for reading!

[mixelation]

This is the same icha icha anon, and the idea that Jiraiya's best female character is Orochimaru (who is, actually, wearing a woman's body underneath the disguise of himself at the time of the chuunin exam invasion) is absolutely hilarious to me. Does Orochimaru read Icha Icha? Does he KNOW? I bet Tsunade doesn't read icha icha unless she HAS to for her job, but Orochimaru is definitely curious enough to do so on his own initiative... but does he?

reference post (and also here's a related post)

I AM GLAD YOU ARE INTERESTED IN MY INTENSE AND USELESS HEADCANONS, ANON. I have debated this a bit, mostly because this headcanon is canon to Plasticity and potentially also pivotal to the plot of Plasticity? But right now I'm leaning towards:

Tsunade has read like, part of one Icha Icha book, after a combination of nagging from Jiraiya, boredom, and mild curiosity that's a result of both her interest in Jiraiya as someone she grew up with and Hatake Kakashi's weird obsession. She read enough to realize the sheer depth of how bad Jiraiya is projecting his personal issues into the book (and also the kinky parts aren't even that good in her opinion). It gave her secondhand embarrassment for Jiraiya and she had to stop reading and refuses to pick up another book by him again. Jiraiya is still alive so I'm going to say she hasn't actually read any sex scenes involving her own insert character, although she knows they must happen.

I'm sure Orochimaru physically cannot restrain himself from reading whatever shit Jiraiya is writing. Orochimaru probably sometimes even intercepts Jiraiya's written correspondences just to keep tabs on him (and, like, annoy him). Of course he's written Icha Icha. He's thrilled that he and Tsunade are main characters. He LOVES that Jiraiya has written all of his personal hang-ups and insecurities for the world to see. It's great entertainment. He is both smug and flattered that Jiraiya has a psychosexual obsession with him. The only thing holding him back from teasing Jiraiya about it to his face is that he's about 70% sure Jiraiya has no idea he's doing this and he doesn't want him to stop. Instead he sometimes writes Jiraiya anonymous letters requesting the Orochimaru character do certain things, or disappointment in the lack of weird kink in a certain scene. Jiraiya has recognized at least a few of these "anonymous" fan letters as being from Orochimaru and has no idea what to make of that.

What I go back and forth about the most is the degree to which Jiraiya realizes he's written his teammates into his books. Like I'm sure he at least realizes that the Tsunade-insert is similar to Tsunade in a lot of ways, possibly some of them intentional because the nature of Jiraiya's "research" makes me think he likes to base characters on real women. Like I can see him being like, "Well, Tsunade is SUPER hot and also an awesome kunoichi, I gotta use her sexiest features for my main female character!" and then also intentionally not giving that character Tsuande's tragic backstory because even though it would make good fiction, he doesn't to be cruel to her. HOWEVER, I'm leaning towards the Orochimaru character being completely unintentional/subconscious on Jiraiya's part. He made main girl #1 (who I call Junko in my brain) to be busty, blonde, loud and blunt.... so he had to make main girl #2 (who I call Satsuki in my brain) dark-haired and quiet and reserved and also maybe horribly manipulation and her silky hair is full of secrets and she's a backstabbing bitch, but the main male character is still in love with her anyway and--

--and Tsunade reads that and is like Y I K E S. Satsuki is humanized and three-dimensional enough that only people who know both Orochimaru and Jiriya really well would ever connect the dots (bc Orochimaru is a scary one-dimensional monster, duh). So Kakashi might not ever realize ON HIS OWN but if someone pointed it out..... well. He'd be upset. :(

Also Hiruzen definitely reads and enjoys Icha Icha and is in as much denial about Jiraiya's obsession with Orochimaru as he is about the Uchiha Massacre.

[themonotonysyndrome]

REDACTED verse - Sadism & Trolling (Vega Headcanons)

NGL, I’m gonna be straight with y’all...

I miss Vega! And uh, since I've been listening to his videos lately, I wanted to write a oneshot for him until I decided on some headcanons at the last minute. 

I'm not sure what role the Inchoate Daemon Listener in his more recent videos would play in the future, so I tried my hands on writing his 'lover'. I always wanted to write a morally dubious Listener anyway! 

So this is entirely separate from the Inchoate Daemon Listener. 

Vega calls his Listener 'Hamster' for their snacking habits. He would only calls you 'Dear heart' when he's feeling vulnerable or in intimate situations. 

He meets them before Ivan's story. He was actually walking around humans for a change of pace, feeding on the faint lingering negative emotions hovering around the park. It's the human equivalent of getting a cup of coffee in the morning to kickstart their day.

Suddenly, Vega felt intense and strange emotions coming from somewhere in the area. It's a combination of righteous fury, hurt and glee. 

He tracks the owner of the maelstrom to find you. A lone human sitting on a bench underneath a tall, shady tree. Your expression is a total contrast to what you're feeling. It's calm and almost bored. 

After using magic to do some digging and breaching personal privacy, Vega found out that you plan an act of horrible revenge on a cheating partner. He sticks around to watch it all play out. 

He loved the show. So much so he claims you as his charge. 

However, jokes on him; you're a passive and lazy person. Your default setting is living life operating on the least amount of brain cells and effort. So after feeding on your heartbreak from the breakup, Vega has no idea what the fuck to do with you. 

So he subtly pulls the strings around you in hopes to get you to feel upset or at least annoyed; coffee spilt on your work laptop, someone bought that last slice of your favourite cake, bad internet connection at home, anything! 

But the most you'd (unknowingly) give him is a sigh before you look for something else to occupy your time. To Vega, he feels like a first-time owner to a pet that isn't behaving as it should be. You're like a hamster running in its ball, utterly oblivious of the world outside.  

When you do react emotionally, it's like a wildfire - a roaring and unapologetic blaze that will burn for days. Especially when it comes to negative emotions. However, it takes such a long time to build up and rarely does it even spark. Honestly, to you, working up to such a passionate response is a hassle. 

Unfortunately for Vega, he realises this a little too late. 

The two of you officially meet when you begin to notice that certain objects around the house aren't exactly where they should be. Like how the coffee cup that you instinctively put away from the laptop is now right next to it when you came out of the bathroom. How you can never find your favourite red mug or t-shirt despite you just wash them. 

Slowly but surely, you feel like you suddenly gain an invisible annoying and unwanted roommate. 

Vega detects your annoyance and plans to 'farm' it, only for it to hilariously backfire when you begin to hit up the local priests to discuss about an exorcism and thus, raise a potential covert risk. 

When he first appeared in front of you, your immediate action was to grab a baseball bat, shock and indignation flare within you. 

"So you're the fucking bastard that has been eating my fucking Pringles!" 

"What!? No! And I swear to any God you believe in, I’ll make you regret it if you swing that thing at me."

“Hah! Is that a challenge!? Buy back my snacks. Now. Before I break your bones and sell them to the black market!”

"News flash, Hamster: you're the one who's been eating all of them. Those after midnight snacks? What? Did you think you were sleep-eating?" 

"Who are you calling hamster!?"

"Of course, that's the one you have a problem with..." 

Do you know that one Tv Trope? The 'savvy guy, energetic girl' and 'monster and the maiden'? You and Vega are something in-between, where Vega is determined to feed on you, his charge, while you make it your life mission to be his biggest inconvenience ever. 

That being said, there's a lot of things you share in common with him. For one thing, you live by the 'not my circus, not my monkey' rule, so you don't particularly care what Vega does outside of your life as long as it doesn't cause you any problems. 

You both can be petty AF, and if one is petty, the other will automatically prepare for the other's revenge. 

Vega likes to give you shit for being an Unempowered Human, and in return, you would do everything in your power to piss him off. EX: You’ll make a joke about his shoe size. You know what they say, small shoes mean small... package. And besides, he's a Daemon, right? Doesn't that mean he has hooves? 

Both of you toed the line between violence and resignation, which is impressive that you're still alive. You made it clear to him that if he wants to take you down, you'll take him down with you, and Vega can respect that. 

Vega starts to catch feelings for you after you blackmail him into going to the cinema with you because there's a discount on the tickets for a pair of friends/couple. He's shocked to find that he enjoyed himself that night. 

As for you, you start to feel fond of him when he orchestrated a string of misfortune on your asshole of a colleague. He never once admit it, but at that point, you could read his body language and behaviours rather well. How could you not when your colleague’s series of unfortunate events result in a whole week of nothing but good vibes for you.

Neither you nor Vega confesses your feelings, but you ended up in a romantic relationship nonetheless.

Vega has never fallen in love before, so this emotion is very strange and new for him. From his annoying charge, you've become his most cherished person in the world. 

Vega protects you the only way he knows how. By making the people who upset you miserable or just straight up terminate their trial period of existence. As a Sadism Daemon, Vega is very well aware of the stigma that comes with his kind, and it really doesn't help that he loves what he does, so you have to rein him in from time to time. 

On that note, expect this Daemon to be possessive as hell. No matter what you do around the house, Vega would attach himself to you. Oh, you're working on the couch with the laptop on your lap? He'll move you so you'll sit on his lap while he watches TV. You're relaxing in the bathtub? Scoot forward, he wants to sit behind you. If you're talking to a friend on the phone, he'll peppered kisses and leave hickies on your neck in an attempt for you to end the call. If he could, he would hide you from the world itself so only he could have you. So please stomp on his feet when he starts to sweetly suggest you disappear with him. 

If it's raining at night, both of you would silently lie on the bed together, just basking in one the other's presence. If you fall asleep first, Vega will turn you into his little spoon.

In terms of dating and due to his possessive and protective nature, most of your dates would be in your home. Movie marathons, him playing as your audience for your video game matches, monopoly sessions ending up in a messy divorce sitcom or just napping together. Good for you if you're a homebody. If you're the outgoing type? Good luck; you'll need to be as persuasive as him to budge Vega. The most Vega is willing to go are breakfast/lunch/dinner dates. The fewer eyes on you, the better. 

It's not long before Vega stops feeding on you entirely. He only takes a few destructive emotions that overwhelm you and help you work the rest out in a healthy manner. 

That's when he starts to think about spending his forever with you. 

Don't be mistaken, though; Vega is still a sadism Daemon that doesn’t take kindly to those getting in his way but to you? His one happiness in life? He's your loyal lover. 

-

OK. I might have gone a bit crazy with Vega but in my defence, I had like 3 mugs of tea and a tub of Belgian chocolate ice-cream and ramen last night after midnight plus a weird longing for him. 

It’s weird. 

[dr3am-t3am]

dteam wing!au, bc literally nobody can stop me.

my brain spit this out this morning, and i was like “i could make this and nobody could stop me” and now it exists. i put so much less thought than i should’ve into this. i dont even care. if anybody asks, this is inspired by “Minecraft, but we’re always flying” or something, but that’s not true i just wanted to draw the boys with wings.

some notes under the cut: 

- Dream was definitely the design i actually thought about the most. I wanted something fast and maneuverable for him, but not super expected (like a falcon or something, which is kind of a moot point considering the other two are super stereotypical wing designs, but also do i really care? no.) so I was thinking something like a kingfisher or a hummingbird at first, but that didn't really fit either, and plenty of birds are fast but not really agile. I then went into swifts, which are the fastest horizontal flying birds and are. super fast and maneuverable,, but guess what? they aren't the fastest horizontal flying animals.

- bats are.

- these tiny bats go around flying at 100 mph, making crazy turns and such all the while. theyre insane.

- Brazilian free-tailed bats ! look them up

- anyways i didn’t want to use bats at first bc stereotypical “evil” connotations combined with dream’s,, uh,, tendencies? (every manhunt vid, but especially speed runner v. mutant. you Know.) seemed like a super cliche take, but like come on. it worked too well. crazy bat boy doing crazy bat boy things. imagine the pun potential. 

- so anyways. he’s a bat.

- to be honest, I dont know what universe this would really exist in, real life or minecraft, but both have a lot of potential so. i might do more with this, because i supposedly made this up based on “minecraft but we’re always flying” i’ll put it in the mc world for now but like. both seem like too much fun

- anyways

- Dream is as I said, crazy bat boy. He is still minorly afraid of heights,, not as much as he probably is in real life but like,, he isn’t the most comfortable with them. He does love flying though, and in typical bat fashion he does a lot of dodging and weaving through trees and other crazy stunts. Bat wings are super jointed and flexible, so he’s able to weave through super busy landscapes pretty easily,, much to George and Sapnap’s chagrin

- George is a barn owl ! Partly bc though I know nothing about harry potter but i know owls are a thing with wizards and stuff in general, and george is apparently The harry potter nerd in the dteam, and partly bc owls are the bird equivalent to cats and george is a cat if you've ever seen one. also, his stupid goggles look like giant owl eyes. it works ok ? 

- he’s not as fast a flier as dream and sapnap, but he’s still a very effective hunter. he can fly Silently and he uses that to his advantage a Lot. unfortunately, he’s still colorblind, but he’s still got really good vision. his night vision, especially, is super good, as is his hearing

- george has. Lorge wings. he’s pretty average size, same as in real life, but he’s shorter than both dream and sapnap and has Massive wings. they’re super fluffy too, making them look even bigger, and the resulting image results in george looking pretty small for how Massive his wings are, like a child that hasn’t really grown into their clothes yet. they are the absolute best wings to cuddle with, even though he doesn’t do that often, and when he gets startled he raises them automatically to look a lot bigger than he actually is, in that owl way of becoming a circle. dream and especially sapnap find it hilarious.

- sapnap’s a red tailed hawk ! he seems to suit a bird of prey really well, and I associate the color red and orange with him a lot. Sapnap’s a great flier and very much enjoys screwing around in the sky, often way higher than dream and george really like to go up. He’s a fast enough flier, definitely faster than george, but nowhere close to Dream if they’re flying horizontally. However, he Can dive, and he can dive very very fast. He dive-bombs george Constantly, and sometimes manages to pull one on Dream if he and George do the planning beforehand. it doesn’t always work because Dream’s a little weasel and can maneuver himself out of place Fast once he notices, but they Have pulled it off a few times and his reactions are Golden. 

- Sapnap is *pretty* chill, but if you trigger his territorial instincts then he can become and absolute pain to deal with. This, of course, is why you can very often find sapnap and dream flying and chasing each other because dream was being a little a-hole and stole sapnap’s stuff or something. (he’s also very protective of his friends, who he consider as his territory, or home, not that he’s gonna say it or anything.)

- when sapnap gets into Instinct Mode he also rarely does the red-tailed hawk screech, which usually is enough of a shock to kick him out of it as both george and dream laugh themselves silly. both george and dream get the most flak for being the loud ones,,, (not even bc of his bird, for george, but just bc. He’s George) but that Screech puts everyone else to shame,, it’s just,, So Loud. 

- dream, when he isnt flying, is actually very protective of his wings. it’s not immediately obvious to the others, but because his wings are so small and maneuverable dream tends to fold them up and hide them under his clothes when he can, and otherwise keep them folded and away from everything else when he can’t. george has his wings folded about half of the time, and sapnap really never has his folded. they fly so much that it’s not super obvious, but dream’s wings are Delicate and full of tiny bones and joints thank u very much and he’s very protective of them

- both george and sapnap have feathers along their back and neck that will raise when they’re alarmed or scared. dream doesn’t, but his hair is Extremely fluffy and fine, to the point of almost seeming like fur instead of hair. 

- both dream and george lean towards a nocturnal sleep schedule, and sapnap basically grudgingly follows. they have a completely screwed up sleep schedule, just like real life. it be like that sometimes.

i’ll cut this off for now, but i have. more thoughts. we’ll see what becomes of them haha.

[shadeswift99]

Smallishbeans! for the 4 headcanons ask!

Joelbeans!! I've only watched his Last Life so I can't say I know much about him, but I just think he's neat :D

Realistic:

When Joel killed Grian, he was so startled that he almost fell off the ghast farm. That's why he didn't bother going after Mumbo: he had already had so much go wrong, he just wanted to take his one success and run like the wind. Besides, it didn't look like Mumbo was going to be much fun to celebrate with anyway. He seemed to be a little upset, for some reason. Joel can't imagine why. :P

Hilarious:

In an effort to make Red Bridge more welcoming for newcomers, Joel has made it as well-stocked and cosy as he can! But in an effort to make Red Bridge more hostile to intruders, Joel has made it as treacherous and uninviting as he can. The results of both of these efforts combined are that Red Bridge is an absolute mess. He has jars of teabags free to use on the kitchen counter, but three out of five of the flavours are poisoned and he can never remember which three (or is it four?). Half of the improvised sleeping bags on the floor have observers under them that don't do anything, the other half have tripwires above them that do do something, and at this point the residents of Red Bridge are so nervous about their ability to choose the right one that they all just pull all-nighters and end up almost dying to mobs in the dark. There are lanterns in pretty much every place where it would be easy to bonk your head on a lantern, the pathway up is almost as unstable as the pathway down, and Joel seems to have reversed all the roof tiles??? ("It's all part of the strategy, just trust me!") Nobody bothers to ask about his interior decorating decisions anymore. It's just a horrible home of a place, and Joel loves it.

Heart-crushing:

...okay, this one actually got long enough that I split it off into its own separate post. Just scroll back one post to see it. (Can you tell I think a lot about Last Life Joel, maybe just a little bit -)

Unrealistic:

Okay, I'm not sure if this qualifies as "unrealistic" considering it's just an interpretation of game mechanics, but: Joel's inventory space is located in his cloak. It works a little like a bag of holding in DnD. Whenever he needs something - his sword, his bow, a random bit of paper to throw to distract whoever's chasing him this time - he can just reach ominously into the threatening billows and seemingly draw it out of nowhere. This is especially terrifying with his sword, which is longer than he should be able to hide in the cloak if it wasn't magic. It's...significantly less terrifying when you're just trying to trade with the guy, and he's wrestling through half an inventory's worth of junk just to find what you're asking for.