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#as a saying in my native language goes
knifetoheart · 6 months
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i owe so much to my friends, i truly believe none of us are supposed to go through anything alone. yes there are moments where we need to grieve and no one else can do it for us, but just having someone there to text or call or even hug can really help with processing.
i lived most of my life so alienated so now having these people here means the world to me.
i might not know where i belong but i am so thankful that they keep a space for me here. that they let me occupy space and even want me to have it.
having them here feels right. they love me and i love them and we keep each other afloat. i still feel like something's missing but they are part of the puzzle i'm trying to slowly piece together
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minglana · 1 year
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i just started watching the occitan series and they could NAWT have done a better job of painting occitan neospeakers as obsessed and crazy. didnt expect less of national french tv <3
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helaenas-queen · 11 months
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MANIFESTANDO QUE EWAN SALGA DE SU AGUJERO Y QUE VAYA A LA PREMIERE DE SALTBURN
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airenyah · 1 year
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how lucky we are to live in a world where there is an official stage recording of cats the musical where you get to see john partridge as rum tum tugger up close and in (relatively) good quality
#if i had a time machine i would travel back to the late 90s/early 00s and watch him perform live#it's the way he MEANS every single movement he makes and every single word that he sings#esp the meaning every single word like!!#it's one thing to be able to do that in your own native language but doing it in a foreign language? that's a whole other thing#and my dude john partridge goes on stage and not only nails the role in english but in german too#honestly what the FUCK#like. even in german you can tell he MEANS what he says#(source: the recordings from berlin 2003 that i found on youtube)#cats#airenyah talks acting#airenyah plappert#it's also the way that technically rum tum tugger is supposed to be a literal pussy magnet#but the way john partridge portrays him he comes across much more like a showman (showcat?)#that simply likes the attention (and that's what the girl cats are giving him! attention!)#his rum tum tugger is a performer who knows he's hot shit and thrives on being the center of attention#bc you can't perform without an audience#but at the same time he also knows when to take a step back and let someone else shine in the spotlight#just look at the mr mistoffelees song#like. he'll absolutely take the spotlight when he's telling you all about mr mistoffelees. he's putting on a big show presenting his boy#but he's also showing off his (boy)friend and making sure every single person (or cat) knows how amazing of a cat mr mistoffelees is#he's all ''look at me while i'm telling you all about this fantastic cat and now stop looking at me and just watch how amazing this cat is'#giving him all the spotlight#same thing in the old deuteronomy song#he joins in in the narration but not in an ''i'm gonna steal the spotlight'' way but instead he has a conversation with munkustrap as equal#and then when old deuteronomy shows up he stays back#and you can tell just how much respect he has for old deuteronomy and how much he adores him#and also that he respects munkustrap (see: conversation as equals)#anyway. john partridge as rum tum tugger. that is all.#(it's so funny bc when i was like 8 i was so obsessed with rum tum tugger. like. SO obsessed. like. half in love with him obsessed)#(and now as an adult who knows a thing or two about performing i'm like. oh. OH. little!me had a point even if she didn't know why)
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skyeisproductive · 5 months
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Every time I look something up and the search results say "whatever-the-hell has Native American origins" I'm like "WHAT TRIBE?! WHAT FUCKING TRIBE?!" Is it my mom's tribe? My dad's? A western tribe? Northern? Southern? Which one?!
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valeriehalla · 1 month
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actual writing advice
1. Use the passive voice.
What? What are you talking about, “don’t use the passive voice”? Are you feeling okay? Who told you that? Come on, let’s you and me go to their house and beat them with golf clubs. It’s just grammar. English is full of grammar: you should go ahead and use all of it whenever you want, on account of English is the language you’re writing in.
2. Use adverbs.
Now hang on. What are you even saying to me? Don’t use adverbs? My guy, that is an entire part of speech. That’s, like—that’s gotta be at least 20% of the dictionary. I don’t know who told you not to use adverbs, but you should definitely throw them into the Columbia river.
3. There’s no such thing as “filler”.
Buddy, “filler” is what we called the episodes of Dragon Ball Z where Goku wasn’t blasting Frieza because the anime was in production before Akira Toriyama had written the part where Goku blasts Frieza. Outside of this extremely specific context, “filler” does not exist. Just because a scene wouldn’t make it into the Wikipedia synopsis of your story’s plot doesn’t mean it isn’t important to your story. This is why “plot” and “story” are different words!
4. okay, now that I’ve snared you in my trap—and I know you don’t want to hear this—but orthography actually does kind of matter
First of all, a lot of what you think of as “grammar” is actually orthography. Should I put a comma here? How do I spell this word in this context? These are questions of orthography (which is a fancy Greek word meaning “correct-writing”). In fact, most of the “grammar questions” you’ll see posted online pertain to orthography; this number probably doubles in spaces for writers specifically.
If you’re a native speaker of English, your grammar is probably flawless and unremarkable for the purposes of writing prose. Instead, orthography refers to the set rules governing spelling, punctuation, and whitespace. There are a few things you should know about orthography:
English has no single orthography. You already know spelling and punctuation differ from country to country, but did you know it can even differ from publisher to publisher? Some newspapers will set parenthetical statements apart with em dashes—like this, with no spaces—while others will use slightly shorter dashes – like this, with spaces – to name just one example.
Orthography is boring, and nobody cares about it or knows what it is. For most readers, orthography is “invisible”. Readers pay attention to the words on a page, not the paper itself; in much the same way, readers pay attention to the meaning of a text and not the orthography, which exists only to convey that meaning.
That doesn’t mean it’s not important. Actually, that means it’s of the utmost importance. Because orthography can only be invisible if it meets the reader’s expectations.
You need to learn how to format dialogue into paragraphs. You need to learn when to end a quote with a comma versus a period. You need to learn how to use apostrophes, colons and semicolons. You need to learn these things not so you can win meaningless brownie points from your English teacher for having “Good Grammar”, but so that your prose looks like other prose the reader has consumed.
If you printed a novel on purple paper, you’d have the reader wondering: why purple? Then they’d be focusing on the paper and not the words on it. And you probably don’t want that! So it goes with orthography: whenever you deviate from standard practices, you force the reader to work out in their head whether that deviation was intentional or a mistake. Too much of that can destroy the flow of reading and prevent the reader from getting immersed.
You may chafe at this idea. You may think these “rules” are confusing and arbitrary. You’re correct to think that. They’re made the fuck up! What matters is that they were made the fuck up collaboratively, by thousands of writers over hundreds of years. Whether you like it or not, you are part of that collaboration: you’re not the first person to write prose, and you can’t expect yours to be the first prose your readers have ever read.
That doesn’t mean “never break the rules”, mind you. Once you’ve gotten comfortable with English orthography, then you are free to break it as you please. Knowing what’s expected gives you the power to do unexpected things on purpose. And that’s the really cool shit.
5. You’re allowed to say the boobs were big if the story is about how big the boobs were
Nobody is saying this. Only I am brave enough to say it.
Well, bye!
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girlsworldillusion · 4 months
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I'd let the world burn for you
Summary: Amid the severe consequences of war, Aemond finds himself alone, without the presence and support of his young and sweet wife, who insists on staying away from him, afraid of who he has become. He has been a respectful and patient husband. But tonight he feels like he has finally reached his limit.
Author's note: Please, pay attention to the tags. This story contains sensitive topics, such as: +18, SEX, SEVERE INTERNAL CONFLICT, DUB-CON/NON-CON, POSSESSIVE/OBSESSIVE BEHAVIOR, EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCY, TOXIC RELATIONSHIP AND MORE.
word count: 6k
There is no specific description of which house the reader belongs to, so feel free to fill this in as you wish.
English is not my native language, forgive me for any spelling mistakes.
Good reading!
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He can taste vomit in his esophagus.
Aemond knows it wouldn't be too difficult to get out what little he ate. He coughs as discreetly as he can into the back of his hand before taking off his eye patch, wanting to splash some cold water on his face and throat. He pretends not to notice how his hands are a little shaky as he pulls the gloves off of them, cupping his fingers inside the basin left by the servants on the table. The cool water feels refreshing on his hot skin, and with a satisfied hiss, he looks up, staring directly at the reflection of his own face in the mirror.
The flickering flames of the fire near the wall provide no comprehensive illumination, and he is honestly relieved by that. What little he can see is disturbing enough. His single lilac eye is bloodshot, his silver hair is disheveled, so different from normal. Paleness in the face, sunken cheeks. The subtle glow of the blue stone in his other eye and the deep scars around it only add a dying touch to his ghostly visage.
Another deep tug wracks his stomach and he leans forward, gripping the sides of the table with abandon, preparing to actually throw up this time. But nothing comes, nothing but the painful, nauseating feeling in his body.
He can't forget.
It's all his doing, after all. It's all his fault.
The death of all those people, the desolation of the entire Riverlands. It's all his fault.
Any feeling of greatness and power that previously inhabited his body no longer existed. His superiority and confidence swept away by the tide until he was spat out on the shore with nothing but pain and trauma.
He is a hypocrite and he knows it.
Aemond is not a good person. He doesn't want to fool anyone with his anxiety attack, he definitely doesn't need to take on the role of the poor regretful guy. He doesn't regret what he did, he doesn't regret doing what was absolutely necessary for the good of his family. He could never regret this. And he knows that tomorrow, a week from now, or a month from now, he will do exactly the same thing again if necessary. There are no limits to what he is willing to do to and for those to whom he is loyal.
He can't even dare deny liking it all.
When he's on Vhagar's saddle, with the world in flames just beneath them and the addictive power to decide for good or ill for those poor, hopeless souls, he can swear he's never felt anything better. There's something disturbingly liberating about embracing the monster that resides in his chest. It's surprising to him how good it feels to be ruthless, to take on the role of the uncontrollable beast everyone says he is (rightfully so).
It wasn't always like this. But a series of violent and tragic actions that may or may not have been intentional earned Aemond more than just an ominous codename. They gave him respect; fear. Aemond One-Eye, the son without expectations, the child without any prominence. No more.
He feels ruthless when he is in the skies, dictating the fate of humanity. It gives him power. He is powerful now, he is no longer the boy forgotten by everyone. The feeling of being superior pumps hard through his veins until he goes wild, makes him feel like he's crushing people under the soles of his boots. He is more powerful. Their lives depend solely on the way his hand moves and it turns out that, to their misfortune and terror, his hands are wrapped around the saddle of the largest dragon in the world. It is difficult to be sensible and godly when there is so much power at his command. He is more powerful. There is nothing that can stop him. He feels invincible, unstoppable. He doesn't just enjoy it - he worships this feeling.
At least until it's all over.
When the dust settles and all that is left is the consequence of his actions, it is then that he quietly withers away.
He killed them. All of them. His hands are stained with blood and ash and it's all his fault. He has separated families forever, traumatized so many souls with insurmountable depression and pain and it is all his fault. Adults, elderly, children, babies. All dead. Because of him. Hoarse screams of terror and fear, all begging for a mercy that would never come - could never come. Not by his hands. Not when he had a family and a purpose he was so loyal to.
Aemond worships the sense of power that comes with a reputation for being ruthless and regrets nothing he has done and will do for his duty. Unfortunately, this does not mean that he does not suffer the consequences in equal proportion.
Another sigh. He drops his head and presses his fingers against the edge of the table. He closes his eye so tightly that patches of white light explode into his vision, each labored breath makes him lean forward and clench his teeth. The pain is impossible to ignore – it shakes his insides, leaves his limbs trembling.
"Is this hurting you?" a soft voice asks, a small, fragile thing, almost impossible to hear - if it weren't for the fact that he lives to hear the sound of that voice. He knows this, and so does the owner of the voice, both fully aware of this dangerous dependence. “Pretending to be a God, I mean.”
Aemond feels his heart beat faster, the angelic sound of your voice rescuing him from the merciless depths of his own mind, making him slowly raise his head as he stares at the place where the voice came from. He almost can't believe what he heard. But there you are, sitting on your bed, surrounded by comfortable sheets and pillows, your wide doe eyes catching the moonlight and fire flames in the dark of night, shining like stars.
His sweet wife.
He simply looks at you, not offering any kind of response right away. Not because he doesn't want to. But because he's too surprised to hear your voice and see your face to form words at the moment. Aemond doesn't know how he ended up here, in your private chambers - the place he hasn't been welcome in for some time. He was supposed to go to his chambers. Was he that distraught and distracted? Could the confusion clouding his senses have unconsciously led him directly to the person he needs most at the moment?
He looks around quickly just to confirm that, yes, there is no doubt that he is in your chambers. He didn't intend to do that. He shouldn't be here, invading your privacy and ignoring your request that he keep distance. Of course, his longing and need for you made him consider such a thing countless times. Regardless of your wishes, he was your husband; he had a right to be here. But he never did that. You don't want him in your bed anymore and you've made that clear. And Aemond was not ignorant or even insensitive enough to pretend not to understand your reasons. You had a lot of them and he knows.
You were not made for cruelty. Your innocence and purity made you unable to be aware of the horrible things he did and still treat him the same way as before. You were afraid of him now, just like everyone else. The blood of many was on his hands and you knew it, just as you knew he regretted nothing, and that he would not stop this - not until victory was achieved.
You didn't agree with that, you never did, not even before the marriage. But what could a young woman do in the world they lived in? You were just a piece on a board game, an ace up his sleeve used by your father specifically to provide armies and loyalty to the crown in exchange for a marriage and a more than convenient name for your family.
Aemond knew from the beginning that you didn't want to marry him; how could you after all? You barely knew him beyond the questionable reputation that surrounded him, and a dangerous family clash was about to break out in the kingdom - this was definitely not the right environment for romance to blossom. But you did your duty. You had been an exemplary wife in the short two months of peace that followed your marriage. You treated him with respect and patience, slowly opening your heart to him with each passing day. He wasn't the most talkative or the most sensitive husband and yet you showed empathy for his limitations, accepting what he gave you with gentle smiles and rosy cheeks, without demanding anything more. So sweet. So inocent.
It was no surprise the feeling that welled up in his chest.
Aemond was obsessed before he even realized it. Needing your gentle attentions like a flower needs the sun. He clung to you as his only comfort in an almost bleak existence, he became more and more obsessed with you and you didn't notice. You read with him, walked through the gardens with him and talked to him as you always did, kind and polite. And every day he felt hungrier, pushing the limits of restraint. You welcomed him into your bed every night, welcoming him between your legs as if he belonged there - and he did, indeed. Aemond's appetite for you and you alone knew no bounds.
But he wasn't the man you married anymore, was he?
You fear him now, any and all advances he's made with you over the past few months have vanished into thin air like the ashes he's so used to seeing now. The feelings he was carefully cultivating in your chest now seem to have sunk so deep into your being that he thinks they no longer even exist. You no longer craved his attention; the touch of softness and affection, whenever “husband” dripped from your mouth, was absent. And now all he could do was want.
Aemond doesn't look away from you, not wanting to miss this moment for anything, not after being deprived of it for so long. And you look back at him from where you sit on the bed, chin lifted in false courage. You looks at him with your bright eyes and high cheekbones, which seem even more highlighted in the warm lighting around your bodies.
He may have entered your chambers out of pure unconscious instinct, out of nothing but silent desperation. His body guiding him when his mind no longer could. But now that he's here, he doesn't know how he didn't realize it from the beginning. It's impossible to think about anything other than you. You, you, you.
At this point, deaths at his hands no longer existed. Not his pains or the weights he carries, not revenge, not duty. Anything. Absolutely nothing. There is only this moment, between him, a boy who so wanted to be enough for those he loves and the young girl who is illuminated by the light of the flames.
He feels it. It's not new. That strange impulse that draws all the attention of the environment around him to you and you alone; an almost painful need between his teeth to take a bite and not let go, to have it with all your heart and nothing less.
"Nothing to say?" You press and he's not even embarrassed by the fact that he doesn't remember what you said before. He should leave. It's all he thinks, even as he takes an uncertain step closer to your bed. And that's enough for you to immediately tense up, wrapping your small hands in the sheets to subtly pull them towards you. You are hiding yourself. Hiding yourself from him.
Aemond should leave, continue respecting your limits.
If this had been another night, maybe he would have done it. If the smell of smoke and dragon scales hadn't been trapped in the leather of his war clothes, as well as the dust of ash, then perhaps he could have left. If he couldn't smell the insistent scent of charred bodies and decimated land in his nostrils, taking permanent root in his lungs, perhaps he could respect your innocence.
Not even Aemond knew how on edge he already was. Your refusal of his proximity was just the final push to his downfall.
He adores you. He worships the ground you walk on. He respected your decisions and stayed away much longer than any other husband would have done. And this is how you repay him?
Aemond narrows the only functional eye he has left. You don't react, nothing more than another protective grip on the sheets and a slow swallow of saliva. He wants you so much and the thought enrages him. Why? Why does he feel this way? He desperately wants to punish you for making him feel this way. He wants to punish himself for even thinking about doing this to you.
You left him like this; nothing but a mess. When would you finally accept him for who he is? When would you understand that some cruelties were necessary for the final goal to be achieved? When would you see that everything he did and would do was solely for his family? For you. To keep you safe. When would he be enough?
He grits his teeth and feels his entire body tense with thoughts. He hates it; he hates the way you confuse him and make him feel all these terrible emotions. It makes he feels weak. The temptation of the slightest chance of your affection suffocates his common sense. He feels his hands shaking. He'd been so blinded by the hopeful, innocent vision he constantly saw you through that he fooled himself into thinking he was on your mind as much as you were on his all this time.
"Aemond?" You whisper, sounding more uncertain than before, disturbed by his extended silence as he slowly approaches the bed. He keeps looking at you the whole time, letting you glimpse the flames of fire reflected in the icy sapphire in his eye. He adores you, with every fiber of his being. But the flash of fear that shines in your eyes in response makes him stretch the corner of his lip in a malicious smile. He couldn't help it, there's something sweet and pure about you that makes him constantly waver between wanting to protect you and wanting to destroy you.
You try not to weaken before him, but Aemond immediately notices the way your body is a little trembling when his hand, that same hand that drags the musk of leather and death, passes through the fabric of the sheets, spreading lightning over your legs. You don't stop him, but your eyes flash with a frightened warning, a warning he ignores tonight. His palm flattens against your ribs, daring to caress, to feel the linen of the sheets beneath his fingers, the softness of your flesh beneath it, and you squeak an off-key sound, pulling the cocoon of blankets and furs up to hide you.
A small annoyed growl leaves his lips and his other hand quickly covers yours, stopping you from continuing.
"No. Enough of that." He says in a low but firm tone, looking sternly into your eyes. You part your lips, surprised by his behavior, and try to pull the hand still trapped by his, but he doesn't let you go. "That's enough, wife."
He thinks you might try to deny it, but you fall silent, slowly relaxing against his grip on your hand. Aemond wants to purr at this, wants to praise you and spoil you, because you are so good, so good. His good girl. Even when you're crushing his heart between your delicate hands.
It's not your fault, he tells himself. It's not your fault that he's obsessed with you, driven crazy by the idea of you. Aemond can't even focus properly, even when you're in front of him, defenseless and at the mercy of his whims. He can feel his heart pounding in his chest from pure ecstasy and excitement at the same time. And he can feel, on top of it all, the blood flowing to his hard cock, making it swell beneath his black riding pants. He feels embarrassed by his actions, but at the same time excited, just by the little things you do, by everything you are to him.
“Something is wrong with me...” He says, more to himself than to you, gently pushing a strand of your soft hair behind your ear, sliding his thumb in a gentle caress across your delicate earlobe. “You're in my house. You're in my house and I don't want you to leave. Never." He approaches your face, sliding his fingers from your ear to the side of your face, until he holds your small chin between his thumb and forefinger. "I need you." He continues, ignoring how honest and frank he looks - weak. “I keep thinking of ways to make this happen,” the more he talks, the faster you breathe, sweet little sighs near his lips, calling to him like a siren’s song… “I want to ruin you. Because I think that's the only way you won't leave me."
The intensity of his words scares you, he realizes, he sees how your eyes fill with tears and your eyebrows twitch. But even in the dim lighting of the flames, he can see how the tops of your cheeks turn red, how your chest trembles with the breath that catches there...you want him.
It's a shame you're so willing to keep him away.
But he can't stop.
Aemond closes the distance in an instant, pushing you down until he traps your body beneath his, feeling the contours of your soft, supple curves against him; he shudders. He caresses your face one last time before moving down, ignoring your hesitation and your useless efforts to push him away. Quick as a viper, he grabs the hand that moves to push against his chest, wrapping it with the other still attached to his, holding your wrists tightly above your head.
You cry out at the pressure on his wrists, the long lashes over your eyes fluttering, pleading. "A-Aemond, what are you doing?" you stutter. "Please, please... I said I needed it - please give me some more-"
"Time? Oh yes, you said it." He hums thoughtfully, placing a thigh between your legs, dipping his face into the crook of your neck to breathe in the fresh fragrance of your shower, snoring contentedly with your naturally sweet scent. Intoxicated by your scent, he trails his lips along the slender column of your neck before stopping at the shell of your ear. “I’m so sorry, dear, I’ve waited too long. We’ve both waited too long.” He intones, intoxicated by your presence. You sob once but don't say anything else, choosing to turn your face away from him. Aemond snorts a laugh at that, but doesn't stop you, preferring to leave a tender, wet kiss on your cheek.
Squeezing your wrists with one hand, he allows the other to slide slowly down your body, almost reverentially. He paused at the delicate laces holding the front of your nightdress before untying them with deft fingers. The front opens, exposing your silky, flushed skin to his hungry gaze. He doesn't have the patience to remove the fabric completely from your body, so he just lowers it enough so that your breasts are exposed. He bites his lip, holding a curse between his clenched teeth. When he presses his bare palm to your perky breasts, he tastes your trembling innocence, your soft flesh.
So beautiful.
So pure.
From the beginning you were his opposite, your delicate hands, as irritatingly clean as his are stained with blood and ash.
As much as he truly suffers from the consequences of his actions, he never regrets them, because he knows they are right - necessary. There was only the future to shape, the past should stay where it belongs; behind him. Something he had learned through much pain, but unfortunately, his sweet wife had not yet. But as he runs his greedy fingers down your body, feeling the goosebumps on your soft skin with each touch, Aemond knows he scares you as much as he excites you. You can't hide it from him. Your obviously involuntary response to him only makes him fiercer, hungrier. He wants to ruin you from the inside, until you can't bear to live a single day without his touch.
He allows you to continue your theatrics, still stubbornly staring at the wall while pretending his actions don't affect you. There's something almost too tempting about it, in fact; It's a matter of honor for him. He will break your masks and he will take pleasure in doing so.
Letting his fingers slide down your sides, Aemond's lips wander. He kisses the hole in your throat, moving down with wet, licked breaths to your breasts, tasting you. You gasp softly and grip tight fists on the bed sheets when he captures a soft nipple with a slow suck of lips and a teasing scrape of teeth, your body curling beneath him tightly. He smiles with your nipple still between his lips, leaving wide, warm trails of his tongue on the little perky bud. His hips slide against the inside of your parted thighs, pushing the hardened bulge in his pants against your pussy once.
You bite your lip and close your eyes, but he doesn't stop. With another thrust he uses his strength to push you back onto the bed, the bed you shared many nights with him, to fuck you into the warm sheets. It's almost too much for him to finally feel your little pussy once again, even through the leather of his pants and your delicate nightwear. But he continues with slow, strong thrusts, rubbing his cock against you in a way that teases your clit, the smell and heat of his effort wafting throughout his body; sweat, dragon, fire, ash, blood, death - all mixed together, merging with your own sweet, intoxicating scent and, of course, the unmistakable scent of sex.
Before the chaos broke out, Aemond was quite skilled at this, at driving you crazy. A part of him is extraordinarily pleased to find that he still remembers correctly, especially when a press of his fingers and a twirl of his thumb on your slobbery nipple makes you gasp. He wants to see you, to see you blush and sweat, looking ruined for him. Gods, oh yes, Aemond wants this so much. He can't stop, he can never stop, especially with you singing so sweetly to him. When you arch into his touch and whisper his name softly, like a secret no one can discover, his breath hitching. Aemond can't stop.
A specific thrust makes you let out a high-pitched meow, your hands pulling at the linen on the sheets and he moans along, releasing your breast with a wet pop to look at your face. You have your lips parted, your long eyelashes touching the top of your cheeks, your eyebrows furrowed in sweet agony. He thrusts a little faster, rubbing your clit with more pressure, taking in your presence and the feeling of your tiny, supple body, preening at every sound that leaves your lips.
Sounds so sweet, so beautiful; he considers himself a sinner with the way something so innocent and angelic makes his blood boil and his cock throb with need inside his pants, surely soaking the fabric with the way he feels himself leaking.
“Fuck, you’re going to kill me, baby...”
And yet, he doesn't think he cares about dying by your hands when things turn out like this. He is admitting defeat without any embarrassment now; he can bear the dull weight of war, he can bear his own mind trying to destroy him at every turn, he can bear the betrayal of his own family and the demands of his duties. He can bear with anything.
Anything except being without you.
With an impatient grunt, his fingers tug at the soft skirt of your nightdress, bunching the thing at your waist as he rips your underwear down your legs. You don't try to stop him, but you don't try to help him either, remaining almost motionless against the bed, and he feels like he can growling at you like an animal for that - stubborn girl. He hates and loves this about you in equal intensity. He's almost rough and punishing as he hooks the back of your knee into the inside of his elbow, pushing your leg up to your breasts. And then you're giving up your fight, sighing - all anxious expression, furrowing your eyebrows and biting your lip as he hurriedly unzips his pants and pulls them down just enough to pull his cock out, slamming the wet, throbbing head over your clit before sliding his entire length along your folds.
You moan, he moans. The slide is wet and he can't tell if it's all you, if it's all him, if it's all both. He doesn't care, honestly. All that matters is how his cock is thrusting into your heat, hitting your clit with luscious pokes, coaxing more of those sweet sounds from your pretty lips.
He hooks your other leg in the crook of his elbow and does exactly what he did with the other, trapping you between him and the bed in a position where your entire pussy is presented to him. With his hands flat beside your head, he brings his face closer to yours, the leather covering his chest pushing your knees further into your breasts. You moan through your teeth, unable to do anything but tighten your hands around his shoulders. He smiles slowly, drunk on the sensations, still gently sliding the length of his cock into your folds.
Aemond doesn't look away from you, enchanted by the way you dance between looking at the sapphire stone and the deep lilac of his functional eye. You've always done this, he thinks - saying one was as beautiful as the other, impossible to choose.
“I’m giving myself to you, love…I’m yours.” He whispers softly, husky, needy to you. "Will you do the same from now on?"
He’s so close he feel how your heart races violently at his words, slamming against your ribcage as you take a deep breath. Every expression on your flushed face makes him sure you're going to have an intense crying fit, but even when the liquid in your eyes pours down the side of your eyes, you keep yourself almost in one piece. You look deeply into his eye as your shoulders shake. "Y-yes." You exhale, fragile. “Yes, yes, yes,” your voice sings repeatedly, with quick, confused nods, tears streaming from your eyes.
He can't hold back the husky sound that leaves his lips, his cock pulsing in reaction to your obvious fragility exposed to him.
"Yeah?" He asks breathlessly and it's very slow - as he thrusts inside you, thrusting his hips back and forth once, twice, three times until your pussy swallows as much of his cock as it can, until the tip of his hip bones rub it against your thighs. And it's so intense, so obscene – the position he puts you in, the full weight of his body pinning you to the bed, broad shoulders hiding you from view, silver hair like a curtain around the two of you, your mouth falling open in a silent scream and his releasing small curses between clenched teeth... debauchery.
You give his shoulders a few desperate slaps as he fills you, your tight ring of muscle stretched to accommodate his girth, and no matter how long it takes him to prepare you, no matter how wet you are, he knows there's always that initial pain that rips through your groin as he pushes into you. It makes you sway beneath him, little tearful sobs that are like the sweetest song to him.
Another curse muttered in deep Valyrian was his only warning as his palms sink into the softness of the bed. Your own hands looking desperate too, one tangled in the silver base of his hair at the back of his neck and the other gripping the material of his leather shirt, a strangled moan catching in your throat as he begins to fuck you slowly. You can only hold on as he pulls and pushes his body above you with each deep thrust, his impatience shown only in the forceful and violent way in which his hands grip the bed sheets.
He leans into you a little more, moving his hips in different ways, testing the angles until he makes more of those tears well up in your eyes as your pleasure increases almost painfully. Your moans quickly turn into babbling when a particularly strong movement of his hips makes you shake all over. The way your tight pussy tries to contain him and suck him in at the same time drives him crazy, feral.
He won't last long. He already knew this before it even started, but now, feeling your walls squeezing the life out of him after so long deprived of it, with your cute little noises getting louder and louder, with your expression drunk with lust and sadness, the buzz of battle still vibrating through his veins... Aemond feels release approaching shamefully fast for him.
He'll make it up to you later, Aemond promises himself. When the hot need subsides at least a little in his system, he'll take off his dirty war clothes, maybe ask you to take a shower with him. He'll soap your body and tease you until you're riding his cock in the tub at your own pace, his fingers rolling your little clit with each bounce of your hips. He will lay you on the bed and love every inch of your soft body, worship your skin with kisses and hickeys. He will part your thighs and bury his fingers and tongue in your wet softness. He will rip orgasm after orgasm out of you until you are hoarse from screaming, until your body is physically unable to continue.
He will do it all.
He has done it in the past, many times.
Now, however, all he needs is to find his release, to unload those months of forced distance inside his trembling body. But Aemond will be damned if he doesn't bring you along with him.
He leans down to press his forehead against yours, pushing your legs against your body further, lips parting with hoarse, breathless moans that escaped him with each thrust and the sweet pleas you murmured incoherently. The movement of his hips quickens, one hand leaving its blunt grip on the sheets to squeeze between your thighs, poking your clit in tight circles, his cock hitting a spot inside your walls that makes you shiver and tremble in anticipation.
“Aemond…” you cry, digging your nails into the back of his neck, pulling his body towards yours, as if you weren’t already physically as close as possible.
He growls at your plea.
“My little, innocent wife,” Aemond giggles wildly as your pussy clamps down on his length again, your climax approaching, his thumb rotating a steady rhythm on your clit. If only your mind was clear enough to form a coherent thought, maybe you'd complain that the rhythm of his cock in your pussy would be painful, that the continuous and harsh scratching of his clothes hurts the soft and delicate flesh of your body, but you don't say anything, not now. You just accept what he gives you. And he knows you missed him as much as he missed you. “Always so good to me baby.”
Aemond watches you intently, unable to look away from the pleasure that shows on your face. You're shaking, lost in your wet breaths and high-pitched, broken cries, your legs trapped between his body, welcoming him. You're tight and small, his sweet wife, and Aemond can feel your cracks stretching, a spider's web of fractured thought and temptation too much for anyone to bear, and as much as he knows it's impossible, he wants this moment to last forever. Aemond is undone. A fool in love. And it's sad. And it's beautiful. It's being at home.
"Mine." His murmur echoes next to your lips, both of you breathing each other's breath, his rhythm starting to falter, the searing heat rushing through his body beneath those layers of heavy clothing makes him dizzy, but he doesn't stop, he doesn't stop. “So pure, so beautiful, so delicate…” he caresses your clit without faltering with a rumbling purr as his cock swells inside you. “Ngh...oh fuck, so tight. You're going to get everything, aren't you, darling? All of me.” His own teeth graze your neck as you arch and scream in pleasure. “Be a good girl and don't let anything leak, hmmm…”
He fucks you roughly, your name dancing on his lips like a prayer in the dark. Aemond savors this moment with the veneration it deserves, the final chase. The two of you so broken, so vulnerable, shaking with pleasure for each other. He rubs your pussy, hips slamming into you at lightning speed.
And finally, gods yes, it finally happens.
"Aemond! A-Aemond, please! Please-" You throw your head back, your lewd pleas turning into a broken scream as you explode around him. Your face is flushed and glistening with a subtle sheen of sweat, tears streaming down. It's all he can take. You convulse and break and the sensation of his cock swelling with the resulting explosions of hot cum filling you follows shortly after. As your body and pussy tremble and clench, he finally releases his own pleasure, biting down hard on your shoulder to muffle his husky moans, spilling himself deep inside you, the continuous spasms of your orgasm milking every drop from him. You and he cum together, and even in the hazy haze of climax, he thinks he's never experienced something so sublime, so perfect.
You're both shaking as you come down from the waves of mutual pleasure, and Aemond is especially careful now, gently unfolding your legs from that tight position to allow you to stretch them, which earns him a long, grateful, relieved moan. He slowly pulls away until he's kneeling between your thighs, watching raptly as you bite your lip as his cock leaves your heat. A tight grip circles around your parted thighs, lifting them up a little to expose your dripping pussy. He looks almost in awe as he watches his seed flow steadily from your abused pussy.
But Aemond is selfish and his cum doesn't belong on the crumpled, sweaty sheets. No, he told you to keep it safe inside you and that's what would happen. His fingers slip into the wet mess of cum in your folds, pushing as gently as he can all the thick liquid inside you again.
You're too tired to react, but you still sob softly at the sensation, subtly squirming on the bed, legs shaking from being held in the same position for so long. He looks at you, icy lilac gaze half-lidded with lust, blue stone glowing in the flames of the fire. He looks at the soft, creamy flesh of your sweaty body. He longs to see dark spots and bite marks, a way of proving that you belong to him. He lifts his head, sinking his teeth into the soft flesh, just above your left breast. His teeth leave crescent moons on your skin and you scream loudly at the stinging sensation, but you don't stop him. He walks away, admiring the constellations he had traced on your skin. Painting you for him, marking you as something unique to him.
You sniffle and blink wet eyelashes at him. He kisses his bite, murmuring gentle words to you, his lips trailing up with soft sucks and wet kisses in your throat until he brushes against your lips. And it's then, and only then, that he realizes he hasn't kissed you yet. He doesn't know why he didn't do it, given that it's probably the thing he misses most about you. Feeling the softness of your lips on his, the gradual way a small, innocent kiss quickly evolves into something more urgent, the way you immediately struggle to keep up with his pace, his hunger as he swallows your cute sighs and your ragged breaths as he suck your tongue.
Yes. This is what Aemond longs for. How easily he could make you fall apart in his hands.
Taking into account the way that you blush and look down at his lips, you're thinking the same thing. He smiles mischievously, slowly leaning in for a deep kiss, fingers damp with your juices and his cum resting on your jawline. Your little hands sink into his hair until you lightly scrapes your nails across his scalp, making Aemond shudder. The fingers of his other hand cup your hip, tracing the line of the bone in gentle patterns. His nose bumps yours as his tongue dances in your hot mouth, spreading in you the taste of smoke and revenge that seems to follow him at absolutely every moment now. And like his perfect antithesis, you gasp, let him savor your sweet, fruity flavor - so fuckin sweet.
Your legs circle his waist, making him press against your heat, quickly reigniting the flame of need within him. You lick it off his tongue, moan when he sucks your bottom lip and bites it, you beg between quick breaths and Aemond continues to rub himself against you, the kiss becoming sloppier, driving him crazy with how irresistible you are in this state. You give yourself completely to Aemond, without asking questions or making new complaints, and it drives him crazy.
"You are mine. Only mine. And you will never leave me again, do you understand?" He murmurs as he pulls away, both of you panting, looking seriously into your water-bright eyes, noting how they're a little wide and your mouth is swollen and wet from his kisses.
A few tears slide down your face, but you smile shakily at him, the hand in his hair stroking the silver strands lovingly.
"I am yours, Aem. Now and forever." Honesty bleeds into your shallow voice, your little fingers on your other hand tentatively tangling with the buckles of his shirt to open it.
Aemond rests his forehead against yours and truly smiles for the first time in a long, long time. Not a malicious, mocking or condescending smile... No, this time his lips are stretched into a small, but genuine, honest smile.
And it's because of you.
Because he knows he got what he wanted so much. He has you again. He was resilient, he was patient and he was fair. He fought and, with his efforts, created a space just for himself within your heart. He knows you're still unhappy with everything that's going on, and no matter how much he wants to, he can't change that. He can only strengthen you to bear it. It can only burrow deeper into your body and your heart until you are able to forget the atrocities that are happening around you - the horrible things that he is doing. It's a gaping hole in your chest that leaves you continually bleeding, he knows, but the exposed cut is so sweet, and here he is, licking the wound like an animal, with all the violent, relentless gentleness he has to offer as the vengeful prince that he is.
He wraps his arms around you, pushing his cock back into your abused pussy in a deep movement that draws a broken sound from both of you, pulling you against his chest. He rubs his sweaty face against your throat, your face, your hair. His voice syrupy and thick as he whispers, "I love you."
Fuck. Aemond would never let you go.
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imnotaacat · 2 months
Text
I Can Not Do It Without You.
husband!Anthony x fem reader wife.
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— Summary: You have been married to Anthony for a year, and you are about to give birth to your first baby. However, after overhearing a conversation between his younger brothers, Benedict and Colin, it makes you doubt whether your marriage is prosperous and honest, which leads to an early and complicated birth.
— Warnings: Angst, mentions of death, fluff at the end, no use of Y/n, mentions of deception. (I think that's all)
A/n: English is not my native language, sorry if something is written wrong, I hope everything can be understood. :)
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“It’s funny that she thinks Anthony is still in love with her.” You heard Colin’s voice behind the door, followed by Benedict’s laughter.
That was enough for you to ask the footman accompanying you to prepare the carriage, you would return home. Since a few weeks ago you suspected that Anthony was cheating on you, the last few weeks he began to go out more often with his younger brothers, and of course, there was nothing wrong with it, but it happened every night and he always returned at dawn. And you, who were about to give birth, only wanted to feel protected, cared for by him, but you felt the opposite, he simply left, leaving you completely alone.
“My dear, won’t you stay for dinner with us?” Someone asked behind you, it was your mother-in-law, Violet. “Oh, I really appreciate it, you must excuse me, but I would like to have dinner with my husband.” Violet smiled. “Don’t worry dear, it’s okay, give him my regards.” You nodded and walked to your carriage, the footman helped you get in.
Once home, you entered and began to climb the stairs, as fast as your belly allowed you.
“Honey, you're back, I was waiting for you for dinner.” Your beloved husband's voice said with his beautiful smile at the bottom of the stairs. Something inside your chest stirred. You smiled.
“Oh dear husband, I apologize, but I've already had dinner with your mother and brothers.” You said, he smiled, he loved the way you got along with his family, he couldn't have chosen a better wife. I apologize for not accompanying you, but I feel very tired. — He nodded again.
“Don't worry, rest, I'll be with you in a few moments.” You nodded. You finished climbing the stairs that led to the room you shared, you asked your maid for some help to undress. Once you were ready, you got into the sheets of your bed, but you couldn't even close your eyes. Thirty minutes later you heard your husband's footsteps coming up the stairs, you settled down with your back to the door and closed your eyes pretending to be asleep. You listened to his footsteps and movements around the room, a few minutes later you felt the mattress sink and then the warmth of his body, he placed his hand on your belly, kissed your temple, and got ready to sleep.
About an hour later, he was finally fast asleep, you got out of your bed and left the room making as little noise as possible, you went down the stairs and headed towards his study, you placed the candle you were carrying on his desk and you got ready to look for something, something that would help you, something that would give you a clue about something. And as the saying goes, “Curiosity killed the cat.” In one of the drawers of his desk, you found several newspapers. As you skimmed through them you noticed something. They all had an ad for an opera concert and all of them had one name repeated: “Sienna Rosso.” You didn’t know whether to be happy for having found what you were looking for or to cry for what you had found. The second to last ad was dated two days ago, the last time Anthony had gone out, and the last ad was dated two days from now. You put everything back the way it was, closed the door to the study, and headed back to your room. To your relief, Anthony was still fast asleep.
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“Good morning,” you said, announcing your entrance to the dining room. Anthony smiled. “Good morning, dear. Did you rest?” He asked. You nodded, at that moment the maids came in with their breakfast trays, so they began to eat, leaving a comfortable silence in between. — You know… yesterday I saw an announcement, about an opera concert— You spoke breaking the silence and lifting your face to look at him, he already did. — I heard that the girl is very good, I think her name is Sienna… yes Sienna Rosso— Anthony coughed. — And well, I would like to find out for myself, and why not with my dear husband? The concert is in two days, so, could we go? — You asked with a nice smile, Anthony quickly nodded.
“Sure, why not, I have a little work, but I will do it in these two days, so we can go out.” You nodded with a smile.
During those days when the long-awaited night arrived, Anthony, no matter how much he wanted to concentrate on his work, couldn't do it. The only thing he had in mind was your request, but rather, the way you asked for it, your look when you asked him, during their first year of marriage, he had noticed that whenever you asked him for something there was a special sparkle in your eyes, however, that morning he couldn't see it, instead there was something else, your gaze had something dark in it.
When the agreed time and day arrived, you went down the stairs while he went up, you were wearing a Bridgerton blue dress, white gloves, and a pretty pearl necklace, he praised how pretty you looked, he asked you for a moment so he could get ready and go out with you.
Once at the theater, you asked to sit up front, and he accepted without arguing anything, minutes later the concert started, and boy was the girl good, she was wonderful, out of the corner of your eye you noticed that throughout the act Anthony looked at the stage a couple of times, most of the time he saw you, the floor and the ceiling, and of course, anyone would say it was romantic, but you knew it was guilt.
Once the concert was over you told Anthony that you needed to go to the bathroom, he nodded and joined another group of men who greeted him happily.
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“Miss Sienna, someone is waiting for you in your dressing room.” A voice said behind the girl as she walked off the stage, she smiled and thanked him with a nod. Finally, Anthony had returned. However, he froze when he saw a female silhouette in his dressing room, you were with your back to her. You were looking at each of her outfits with a smile, and from time to time you touched the fabrics with your hands what caught her attention the most was your belly, you could give birth at any moment, even now.
“Were you hoping to see the Viscount?” You asked still with your back turned, you only heard a low “Excuse me?” before turning to look at her. — I asked if you were hoping to see Anthony. — You asked again, Sienna was surprised that you called him by his name, but it was logical, you were his wife. Seeing that she had no answer you sighed and spoke again. — I know he has come to see you frequently, so I wanted to meet the woman who fucks my husband. — You said with a forced smile on your lips. Sienna smiled back, she didn't expect the Viscount's wife to be like this, she imagined a silly girl, but no, you were different, you were direct. At that moment something occurred to her, something that would make Anthony come back to her again.
“Yeah well, Anthony comes here often, he even comes with his brothers.” He said with a smile. You just nodded, but anger was growing inside you, how could she call him by his first name? — You know, it's nice that he comes to see me at my concerts but to attend with his wife... it's very bold.” She said with a smile.
“Sienna... I was the one who suggested he come, he came simply because I asked him to accompany me, if he had wanted... or rather... been able to, he would have stayed in his studio.” You saw how Sienna's face fell.
Seriously Anthony had stopped loving her? Just like that? After you two got married he paid you one last visit, where he made it clear that you would never have another meeting. In exchange for various favors, she was able to arrange for several Lords and Dukes to meet Anthony at the theater or places where she would perform. She knew that once they were alone, Anthony would come back to her. Her surprise came when he didn't even look at her, or even notice her presence, and she was accompanied by her brothers. Every time she passed by his place, she heard how wonderful his wife was and how much he was in love with her.
“Listen to me-“ She began to speak, calling you by your name, but you interrupted her.
“For you, I am Lady Bridgerton,” you said. Anthony heard it and went to the place where your voice came from. He noticed that you hadn't returned from the bathroom, so he decided to make sure everything was okay. He followed your voice, down that path that he had walked so many times a few years ago. — You can fuck Anthony as many times as you want, it's fine, but listen to me, I'll be the only one that Anthony will present as his wife, I'll be the one who will have his children, his heir, my children will carry his blood, my children and I will be the ones who will wait for him at night to have dinner, I'll be the one who will see him walking arm in arm through the parks, while you... you will simply meet him at night, when everyone is already home, you will stay in the dark, hiding, making sure that no one can see you. — Sienna was definitely speechless, after hearing everything you had said, you were right, he would never leave you for her. Anthony, who had heard everything while walking towards you, was proud to hear what you had said, you didn't even raise your voice, much less attack her to leave her speechless.
“Whatever you say Anthony loves me-“ Once again she was interrupted, this time by Anthony's voice.
“For you, I am Lord Bridgerton, I will never allow you to call me by my name again, our relationship ended a long time ago, Miss Rosso, and that day I made it very clear to you that I would never return to you again.” You smiled at the look on Sienna’s face in front of your husband’s back. — If you will excuse us, the Viscountess and I must retire, good night, Miss Rosso. — He said, giving you his arm so that you could walk with him, and said goodbye to the friends who were still there.
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Anthony helped you get into the carriage and once inside silence reigned between you, you were sitting face to face, so Anthony could see how your eyes began to get brighter and tears began to appear in your eyes. He felt guilty, guilty because he was the reason for those tears.
“Honey I-” He started to speak but you interrupted him. “I don’t want to hear anything Anthony.” He nodded. Once at home he helped you get out of the carriage and both of you climbed the stairs that led to his room.
“Marie, please tidy my room, I’ll be staying there tonight.” Your maid nodded and took from both of your rooms the things she would use at that moment and the next day to get ready, you heard a sigh from Anthony, and then his footsteps moving away towards the master bedroom, so you did the same, but in the opposite direction, before reaching your room you felt a pang in your lower belly, you grabbed the wall, Anthony turned and walked towards you when he heard your moan. “I’m fine” You told him when you heard his strides towards you, he stopped and nodded, but as far as he could see after you closed the door, he noticed that you were holding on to the wall as you walked.
Anthony wanted to talk to you, he wanted to tell you that it was all a misunderstanding, his affair with Sienna had ended a long time ago, even long before the two of you got married. Unable to fall asleep, he went down to his study and made himself a drink, then sat down at his desk hoping to be able to concentrate a little and even distract himself from what was going on with his work. He didn't even notice when he fell asleep at his desk.
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“Mr. Bridgerton! Mr. Bridgerton please wake up.” When he opened his eyes he felt disoriented. “Mr. Bridgerton” The woman made a small bow. “Lady Bridgerton has gone into labor, but she is in very bad shape,” the maid said just as she heard a scream coming from the upper part of the house. — We have already sent for your mother, the Duke, and the Duchess, the young lady asked for it, and the doctor and the midwife are already with the lady. — The girl spoke as she followed Anthony up the stairs, another scream came from your room, with long strides he arrived at your room, and he saw you there, screaming and writhing in pain, and then he was nineteen again, panic began to bloom in him.
“Lord Bridgerton, the baby is not in position, I need to know what to do, save the baby, or save your wife.” Another scream from you was heard. “I told you to save my son.” You screamed with difficulty. — The decision must be made by the lord. — The doctor spoke. And one more scream was heard.
“Save them both,” Anthony spoke. “Sir, we will try, but-” Anthony interrupted him. “I told you to save my wife and my son,” Anthony screamed. — Yes sir, we will do our best.” And once again the doctor entered your room. Tears began to sting his eyes, just at that moment the doors of his house opened, it was Simon, his mother, and his brothers.
“Simon, Colin, and Benedict stay with Anthony, Daphne comes with me” Violet said as everyone went up the stairs. “Everything will be okay dear, I promise,” Violet said before entering your room with Daphne. The screams were getting louder, and his brothers didn't know what to do, or how to comfort him, Simon was already a father, of course, but none of Daphne's births had been like that, they didn't know what to do.
“Anthony, everything will be okay, your wife is a strong woman” Benedict spoke. There was silence. “It's my fault.” Anthony spoke. “She found out about Sienna, she noticed that I was leaving at night and she thinks I've cheated on her.”
“But it’s not like that, you ended your relationship with that woman, we have been with you so that you could avoid this.” Colin spoke, and Anthony nodded. “And I thank you, I should have told you what was going on” Anthony said, his head down. “I don’t know how you found out, but two days ago she asked me to go to the concert tonight, she had an argument with Sienna, and then when we got back home, she asked to have her bedroom fixed, she complained of pain, I should have insisted that she sleep in our bedroom, I should have stayed awake to take care of her.” Anthony spoke. Your screams still hadn’t stopped, they could hear the voices of the midwife, her mother, and Daphne asking you to push.
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Anthony looked at his watch, it was almost five in the morning, and the fear he felt was from another world, he didn’t know what was going on in there, he only heard your screams. The four men were desperate, they knew there were only two options. Finally, the cry of a baby, their baby was heard behind the door, the four men looked at each other, then looked at the door, Daphne came out with the baby in her arms wrapped in a blanket. “He’s a cute little boy” she said with a smile, putting the baby in Anthony’s arms, he smiled. “Daphne, how is she?” Simon asked, Daphne just lowered her head.
“Daphne, how is my wife?” Anthony asked. “She is not well Anthony, she lost a lot of blood, she has a high fever, and the doctor does not know if she will survive.” Anthony sighed, he was happy for the birth of his son of course, but at the same time the love of his life was between life and death, he could not do it without her.
“My lady, stay with me, do not close your eyes.” the voices of the maids were heard, alarming everyone who was outside. “She cannot die” Anthony said finally letting the tears come out, hugging his little son.
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It had been a week since you had given birth, and the fever and bleeding had stopped, however, you were still weak, you still had no strength, and you spent your time in your room. Violet and Daphne had asked to stay home with you, to help you and Anthony.
“Anthony dear,” Violet spoke entering her son's bedroom, Anthony was playing with Edmund, they had agreed to name him in honor of his father if they had a boy. “You should talk to your wife, I don't know what's wrong Anthony, but it's like she's rejecting her son.” Violet paused. — The only moment she is with him is when she breastfeeds her son, that's not good, you're doing an excellent job as a father, but this baby also needs his mother. — Anthony nodded, left his little one in the bassinet next to his bed, and called a maid to keep an eye on the baby. Leaving with his mother he went to your room, opened the door, and could see you, after a long time, you were looking out the window with your back to him, you had your hair down, a silk robe, you looked very beautiful.
“Love…” Anthony said. There was a pause, he expected you to say something or at least turn to look at him, but it wasn't like that, you continued looking at the window. “Since we met I noticed your desire to be a mother… But now that we have our son, you… you reject him.” Anthony doubted if he was using the right words, he didn't want to be hard on you, so you lowered your gaze to your lap. “What's wrong? You know you can tell me anything.” There was a long silence for his liking, or rather, for the moment you were in.
“I don't want him to get used to me.” You spoke and finally turning to look at him, Anthony looked at you confused. “I’m dying Anthony, just look at me.” And yes, you looked a little haggard, you had lost a little weight, but nothing that a little food couldn’t fix. “Besides…” You paused. “I’m scared Anthony, I’m scared of being just like my mother.” You finally burst into tears, Anthony was a little surprised, you had known each other for a little over a year and a half, and he had never seen you cry like this, or rather he had never seen you cry, it was a little difficult for you to show your emotions one hundred percent. Because of how you grew up, your parents never showed any kind of love between them, nor to you or your siblings, you and your siblings were raised for society, with no laughter or exaggerated emotions, just enough, if you wanted to cry or express your emotions you had to be completely alone, no one could see you like this or they would call you exaggerated. Anthony took a few steps to be closer to you and wrapped you in his arms. “You’re not dying, sweetheart… you’re not a bad mother either… Do you think I don’t notice how you play with Gregory or Hyacinth? Or how do you interact with Augui?” Anthony spoke, you smiled remembering how good it felt to play or spend time with them. Anthony pulled you away from his chest so you could look into each other’s eyes, he cupped your face in his hands, and with his thumbs, he wiped your tears away. “You’re nothing like your mother… but if you keep acting that way… rejecting your son, you’ll be just like her.” You nodded and hugged him again, he also hugged you back, and kissed the top of your head, both of you stayed in that position for a few minutes.
“I’m sorry.” You said, separating from the hug. — Not just for this… also for what happened a few days ago at the theater, I shouldn’t have acted that way. — Anthony shook his head.
“The one who should apologize is me.” He said take your hands. — I wasn’t honest with you, I should have told you what was going on because I went out every night… somehow that woman made all the business be handled in those places, I asked Colin and Benedict to accompany me, just to avoid this, but I should have told you too. — You noticed the sincerity in his words and the regret in his eyes.
“You should have told me, of course, but I acted recklessly, I should have talked to you before, can you imagine the scandal it would have been if someone else had heard? Can you imagine if it had been Wistledown?” Anthony laughed.
“But I must admit, you acted better than I would have acted if I had been in your place.” They both laughed. “But you know… I’m a little curious to know how you knew?” Anthony asked.
“Well… I heard your brothers saying it was funny that she thought you were still in love… and well, you know what happened.” Anthony laughed. “Instead of helping me, they sink my head into the mud.” There was a silence between you. “It’s nice to be with you again,” Anthony said. — But I think you should meet someone… Give me a moment. — Anthony left the room, and a few seconds later he entered the room again, but this time with the baby in his arms, you smiled when you saw him, the tender image of your husband with your baby would be an image that would stay in your mind and heart for a lifetime.
Anthony walked over to you, pulling you close and helping you carry your baby. You finally allowed yourself to see your baby's face, you knew it was too soon to say it, but he was a lot like Anthony.
“Hey baby, you look so cute today.” You said the little baby let out a small laugh. Both you and Anthony smiled at it. You definitely scolded yourself for depriving yourself of this thing you had always wanted.
Anthony guided you to the bed so you could get some rest, despite everything, he knew you were still a little weak, Anthony placed himself right next to you so you could lean on him, and you stayed like that, he held you close, while you held your little baby close.
“You are the best thing that has ever happened to me” — Anthony said while smiling at you.
You two definitely, unexpectedly changed each other's lives. You both knew that nothing and no one could separate you or hurt you after this day.
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I would also like you to give advice or recommendations. I hope it's not too long or boring. I would appreciate your comments. 💗
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wandamaximoffsbadgirl · 2 months
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hey ley… 35 year old university professor (mommy) wanda goes to a strip club for her friends hen do and sees reader, her 21 year old student working there. wandas friends watch wanda watching reader dance for hours and decide to pay for her lap dance. how does this end up?
sorry if this isn’t explained right english isn’t my native language
Strip That Down
Professor!Wanda Maximoff x Student!Stripper!fem!reader
Word Count: 5.6K
Warnings: 18+, MDNI, Lap dance, strip club, fluff, angst, happy ending
A/N: This took on a life of it's own
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Wanda Maximoff, a university professor, found herself reluctantly at a strip club, all thanks to her friend's insistence on celebrating her bachelorette party in the most unconventional way possible. The loud music, flashing lights, and the wild atmosphere were far from her usual quiet and academic environment.
Her friends were having a blast, cheering and laughing, while Wanda sipped her drink, trying to blend into the background. That was until her eyes caught sight of one of the dancers stepping onto the stage. The dancer moved with a grace and confidence that captivated the audience, but what really caught Wanda’s attention was the familiar face.
It was you, her student. The realization hit her like a ton of bricks, and she couldn’t tear her eyes away. You were mesmerizing, your movements fluid and enchanting. Wanda watched in awe, her mind racing with a mix of surprise, curiosity, and something else she couldn’t quite place.
Hours passed, but it felt like minutes. Wanda's friends, noticing her unwavering focus on you, began to whisper among themselves. They exchanged knowing glances and mischievous smiles.
"Hey, Wanda," one of them nudged her playfully, "You seem really interested in that dancer. Why don't we make this night even more unforgettable?"
Before Wanda could protest, they pooled their money and called over one of the staff members. Moments later, you were stepping off the stage and being guided toward a private room, where Wanda was already seated, her heart pounding in her chest.
You entered the room, your eyes widening slightly in recognition. “Professor Maximoff?” you asked, clearly surprised but maintaining your professional composure.
“Please, call me Wanda,” she replied, her voice a bit shaky.
You nodded, stepping closer, your movements still graceful and hypnotic. “Alright, Wanda. Let’s make this an experience you’ll never forget.”
As the music started, you began your dance, your eyes locked onto hers. The air was thick with tension, the boundaries of your usual professor-student relationship blurring with each passing second. Wanda’s friends watched from a distance, giggling and whispering, knowing they had given her a night she would remember for a long time.
As the music ended and the dance came to a close, you lingered for a moment, meeting Wanda's gaze with an intensity that left her breathless. The atmosphere in the private room was charged with an undeniable tension, and Wanda found herself at a loss for words.
"Thank you," she finally managed to say, her voice barely above a whisper. "That was...incredible."
You smiled, a hint of shyness now breaking through your confident demeanor. "I'm glad you enjoyed it, Wanda."
There was an awkward pause, both of you unsure of how to proceed. The professional lines had been blurred, and it was difficult to revert back to your usual roles.
"Do you want to talk for a bit?" you offered, sensing her discomfort but also wanting to prolong this unexpected encounter.
Wanda nodded, grateful for the suggestion. "Yes, that would be nice."
You sat down next to her, the ambiance still buzzing with the aftermath of the dance. Wanda's friends had moved on to other entertainment, giving you both some privacy.
"I had no idea you worked here," Wanda began, trying to navigate the delicate conversation. "I mean, it's not something you'd normally share in class, but..."
You chuckled softly. "Yeah, it's definitely a part of my life I keep separate from my studies. It helps pay for school and other expenses."
Wanda nodded, appreciating your honesty. "I understand. It's just...I never expected to see you here."
"Likewise," you replied, your eyes meeting hers again. "But I have to admit, it's nice to see a familiar face, even in such an unexpected place."
The two of you talked for a while longer, the conversation flowing more easily as you shared stories and learned more about each other outside the confines of the classroom. Wanda was surprised at how comfortable she felt, the initial shock giving way to a genuine connection.
Eventually, you both realized it was getting late. Wanda's friends were starting to gather, signaling that it was time to head home.
"It was really nice talking to you, Wanda," you said, standing up and offering her a warm smile.
"Likewise," she replied, feeling a strange mix of emotions. "I hope to see you in class on Monday."
You nodded. "Definitely. And if you ever want to talk again, you know where to find me."
With that, Wanda rejoined her friends, who were eager to hear about her experience. As they left the club, Wanda couldn't help but reflect on the night's events, her thoughts lingering on you and the unexpected connection you had formed. She knew things might be different in class now, but she also felt a sense of excitement at the prospect of seeing you again, both as her student and as someone who had made a lasting impression on her.
============
The week went by in a blur for Wanda. Lectures, meetings, and grading papers filled her days, but there was a constant undercurrent of distraction whenever she thought of you. In class, the air was thick with an unspoken tension. Every time your eyes met hers, a blush crept up Wanda's face, and she found it hard to concentrate on her usual authoritative demeanor.
By the time Friday arrived, Wanda's curiosity and the inexplicable pull she felt toward you had grown too strong to ignore. That evening, she found herself back at the strip club, her heart pounding with anticipation. She paid for a private dance again, but this time, her intentions were different.
As you stepped into the room and saw her, a warm smile spread across your face. "You want another dance, Professor?" you asked, your tone playful.
Wanda hesitated, then shook her head. "No...well, yes, but not right now. I just wanted to talk for a bit, if that's okay?"
You sat down next to her on the couch, giving her your full attention. "Of course, Wanda. We can talk about anything you want."
The conversation started off tentatively, but as the minutes passed, Wanda found herself opening up more. She talked about her week, the pressures of academia, and even some personal anecdotes she wouldn't normally share with a student. You listened intently, your presence calming and reassuring.
As the night wore on, Wanda felt a sense of contentment she hadn't experienced in a long time. Before she left, you reached into your bra, pulling out a sharpie. You always kept one on you. You took her arm, holding it against your chest as you wrote down your number on her hand.
"I don't want you to have to pay if you just want to talk, Professor. You can call me up and maybe we can talk over coffee and when I'm in normal clothes, okay?" you said, you looked up at her.
Wanda stared at her hand, her heart racing. "Y-yeah, we can do that...um, I know you're working late tonight, so maybe tomorrow afternoon?"
You smiled, nodding. "Tomorrow afternoon sounds perfect. I'll look forward to it."
Wanda left the club that night with a flutter in her chest, clutching the piece of paper with your number like a lifeline. The boundaries she was crossing were clear, but the need to know more about you and the connection she felt was undeniable.
=================
Wanda arrived at the café a bit early, her nerves on edge. She chose a cozy corner table, away from the hustle and bustle, and ordered a cappuccino, hoping the warm drink would calm her jitters. The café had a quaint charm, with its mismatched furniture, local artwork on the walls, and the rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee filling the air. She glanced at the door every few minutes, her anticipation growing with each passing second.
Finally, you walked in, immediately spotting her in the corner. You looked different from the night before, dressed casually in jeans and a soft, navy-blue sweater, your hair down and free. Wanda felt a wave of relief and excitement wash over her as you approached.
"Hey, Wanda," you greeted her with a warm smile.
"Hi," she replied, feeling her cheeks flush slightly. "Please, have a seat."
You sat down across from her, and for a moment, there was a comfortable silence as you both took in the shift from your last meeting's setting.
"Can I get you something to drink?" Wanda asked, trying to ease the initial awkwardness.
"Sure, I'll have a latte," you replied, and she flagged down a barista to place the order.
"So," you started, leaning forward slightly, "how was the rest of your night after the club?"
Wanda chuckled softly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "It was uneventful compared to the start. I went home, did some reading, and tried to process everything."
"Understandable," you said with a nod. "I can imagine it was a lot to take in."
The barista brought over your latte, and you both took a moment to sip your drinks, the initial awkwardness beginning to fade.
"What about you?" Wanda asked, genuinely curious. "How was the rest of your night?"
"Pretty typical," you said with a shrug. "Worked until closing, then headed home. Nothing as interesting as our encounter, though."
Wanda smiled, feeling more at ease. "It's still a bit surreal, seeing you here, outside of the club and the classroom."
"Yeah, it is," you agreed, your eyes meeting hers. "But I like it. It's nice to talk to you in a different setting."
The conversation began to flow more naturally. You talked about your studies, your interests, and the challenges of balancing work and school. Wanda found herself opening up more about her life as well, sharing stories from her university days and her experiences as a professor.
"So, what made you decide to become a professor?" you asked, genuinely interested.
Wanda smiled thoughtfully. "I've always loved literature and teaching. There's something incredibly rewarding about helping students discover their own passion for it. Plus, it keeps me constantly learning and growing."
"That's really inspiring," you said, your admiration evident. "I can see why you're such a great professor."
Wanda blushed at the compliment, feeling a warmth spread through her. "Thank you. That means a lot coming from you."
The conversation took on a lighter tone as you both shared more personal anecdotes. Wanda found herself laughing more than she had in a long time, the tension and formality melting away.
"Do you have any hobbies outside of work and school?" Wanda asked, genuinely curious about your life beyond what she already knew.
"Well, I love dancing, obviously," you said with a grin. "But I also enjoy painting. It's a great way to relax and express myself."
"Really? I'd love to see some of your work sometime," Wanda said, intrigued.
"I'd like that," you replied, your smile widening. "What about you? Any hobbies?"
"I enjoy reading, of course, and gardening. There's something very therapeutic about taking care of plants," Wanda shared.
"I can see that," you said thoughtfully. "It sounds peaceful."
The afternoon flew by as you continued to talk, the initial nervousness long gone. There was a genuine connection between you, a chemistry that neither of you could deny.
As the sun began to set, casting a warm glow through the café windows, you realized how late it had gotten.
"I should probably get going," you said reluctantly. "I have a shift tonight."
Wanda nodded, feeling a pang of disappointment. "Of course. Thank you for meeting me. This was... really nice."
"It was," you agreed, standing up and gathering your things. "Let's do it again sometime."
"Absolutely," Wanda said, standing up as well. "I'll call you soon."
You exchanged one last smile before parting ways, both of you feeling a mix of excitement and anticipation for what lay ahead. The boundaries had been crossed, but what you had found was something real and promising, a connection that neither of you could ignore.
==========================
The weeks following your coffee shop date with Wanda were filled with subtle yet palpable tension. Each class was an exercise in restraint as you both tried to maintain a professional demeanor. Yet, every glance, every accidental touch, and every shared smile hinted at the underlying attraction that was growing stronger by the day.
One late afternoon, after most of the students had left, you found yourself lingering in the classroom, gathering your things. You needed to ask Wanda about an upcoming assignment, but the real reason you stayed behind was the undeniable urge to be close to her, even if just for a moment.
Wanda was at her desk, engrossed in grading papers. Her glasses perched on her nose, and a strand of hair fell across her face, which she absentmindedly pushed back. You approached her desk, your heart pounding.
"Professor Maximoff, could I ask you something about the assignment?" you asked, your voice steady despite the fluttering in your chest.
Wanda looked up, a warm smile spreading across her face when she saw you. "Of course, what do you need help with?"
You leaned over her desk, pointing to your notes, but as you explained your question, Wanda's focus began to drift. Her eyes traced the curve of your jaw, the way your hair framed your face, and the subtle scent of your perfume. She found herself entranced, her mind clouded with thoughts she struggled to keep at bay.
You noticed her distraction and paused, your eyes meeting hers. "Professor?"
Wanda blinked, snapping back to reality. "Sorry, I... I got distracted."
Before you could respond, she reached out and took your hand, her grip firm but gentle. The electricity between you was undeniable, and as if drawn by an invisible force, Wanda leaned forward, closing the distance between you.
In a heartbeat, her lips were on yours, soft and insistent. The kiss was filled with a mixture of longing and relief, as if you both had been holding back for far too long. You responded eagerly, your free hand cupping her cheek as the kiss deepened.
When you finally broke apart, both of you were breathless. Wanda's eyes were filled with a mix of fear and desire. "I know I'm your professor, but I can't stop thinking about you," she confessed, her voice trembling.
You searched her eyes, finding the same vulnerability mirrored in your own. "I can't either," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.
Wanda took a deep breath, her hand still holding yours. "This is complicated. We both know that. But... I don't want to fight it anymore."
You nodded, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders. "Neither do I."
The air between you was thick with unspoken promises and a shared understanding of the risks involved. But in that moment, none of it seemed to matter. What mattered was the connection you had, the feelings you shared, and the undeniable chemistry that had brought you to this point.
======================
A few weeks had passed since that night at Wanda's apartment. The warmth and comfort of those moments now seemed like a distant memory. The reality of your relationship's complications began to weigh heavily on both of you, and the excitement of secrecy was gradually replaced by the fear of discovery.
It all came to a head one Thursday afternoon. You had stayed after class to ask Wanda about an upcoming project, but the atmosphere was different. There was a tension in the air, an unspoken strain that neither of you could ignore.
Wanda looked up from her desk as you approached, her eyes tired and filled with something you couldn't quite place. "What do you need help with?" she asked, her voice lacking its usual warmth.
You hesitated, feeling a knot tighten in your stomach. "I wanted to discuss the project, but... is everything okay, Wanda?"
She sighed, removing her glasses and rubbing her temples. "Honestly? No, it's not. This... whatever this is between us, it's becoming too much. The hiding, the secrecy... I can't keep doing this."
Your heart sank. You had known this conversation was coming, but it didn't make it any easier. "I know it's hard, but we can figure it out. We just need to be careful."
"It's not just about being careful," Wanda said, her frustration evident. "I'm your professor. There's a power imbalance here, and if anyone finds out, it could ruin both our careers. I can't risk that. And I can't ask you to risk that either."
"But I don't care about the risks," you insisted, your voice breaking. "I care about you."
Wanda stood up, her expression conflicted. "I care about you too. More than I should. But that's exactly why we have to stop this. It's not fair to either of us."
You felt tears welling up in your eyes. "So, what are you saying? Are you ending this?"
"I don't want to," Wanda said, her voice softening. "But I think we have to. At least until the semester is over. Then maybe we can figure out where to go from there."
The room was silent except for the ticking of the clock. You could see the pain in Wanda's eyes, mirroring your own. "I understand," you said quietly, fighting back tears. "But it doesn't make it any less painful."
Wanda reached out, taking your hand in hers. "I'm sorry. This isn't what I wanted. But I think it's what's best for both of us right now."
You nodded, squeezing her hand one last time before letting go. "I should go," you said, your voice trembling. "I'll see you in class."
As you walked out of her office, the weight of the situation settled heavily on your shoulders. The once-bright future you had imagined with Wanda now seemed uncertain and distant. The days that followed were filled with a hollow ache, each class a reminder of what you had lost.
Wanda, too, felt the strain. Her lectures were more subdued, her smiles less frequent. The connection that had once brought you both so much joy now felt like a source of pain and regret.
Yet, amid the heartbreak, there was a glimmer of hope. The semester would eventually end, and with it, the constraints of your current roles. Until then, you both would have to navigate the difficult path ahead, holding onto the promise that perhaps, one day, things could be different.
====================
The days after Wanda broke things off were a blur of emptiness and despair. You found it increasingly difficult to muster the energy to attend classes, let alone participate. When you did manage to show up, your mind wandered, unable to focus on the lectures or assignments. Wanda's presence at the front of the classroom was a constant reminder of what you had lost, and it was unbearable.
Your grades began to slip, and the once-promising future you had envisioned seemed to crumble before your eyes. Your friends noticed the change in you, their concerned inquiries met with forced smiles and half-hearted reassurances. But the truth was, you were struggling to find a reason to keep going.
Your job at the club, once a place where you could escape and express yourself, became another source of frustration. Your boss, a stern but fair man named Tony, had been patient at first, giving you the benefit of the doubt. But as weeks passed and your performances grew lackluster, his patience wore thin.
One night, after another uninspired shift, Tony called you into his office. The room was dimly lit, the walls adorned with framed photos of past performances and performers. He sat behind his desk, his expression a mix of concern and frustration.
"Close the door," he said, his voice firm. You did as he asked, taking a seat across from him.
Tony leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk. "What's going on with you? You've been off your game for weeks now. Customers are noticing, and it's starting to affect business."
You looked down at your hands, unable to meet his gaze. "I'm sorry, Tony. I've just been dealing with some personal stuff."
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Look, I get it. Everyone goes through tough times. But you need to snap out of it. You're a great dancer, and I've seen what you can do when you're at your best. But right now, you're not even close."
Tears welled up in your eyes, and you blinked them away, trying to maintain some semblance of composure. "I just... I don't see the point anymore."
Tony's expression softened, and he leaned back in his chair. "Life's going to throw a lot of crap your way, kid. But you can't let it break you. You have to find something to hold onto, something that makes it worth pushing through."
His words hit home, and you realized that you had been letting your grief consume you. You nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. "I'll try, Tony. I promise."
"That's all I'm asking," he said, offering a small, encouraging smile. "Take the weekend to clear your head. Come back Monday ready to give it your all."
You left his office feeling a mix of guilt and determination. The walk home was filled with a thousand thoughts racing through your mind, but one stood out above the rest: you needed to find a way to move forward.
Over the weekend, you forced yourself to confront your feelings head-on. You spent hours journaling, trying to make sense of the tangled emotions inside you. You reached out to friends, admitting that you were struggling and accepting their offers of support. Slowly, the fog of despair began to lift, and a sense of clarity emerged.
When Monday came, you walked into the club with a renewed sense of purpose. Tony gave you an approving nod as you prepared for your shift, and you felt a spark of hope ignite within you. The night went better than it had in weeks, and while it wasn't perfect, it was a step in the right direction.
In class, you made a conscious effort to engage, to focus on the material despite the pain of seeing Wanda. It wasn't easy, and there were moments when the hurt threatened to overwhelm you, but you pushed through, determined to reclaim some semblance of normalcy.
Wanda noticed the change in you, her eyes filled with a mixture of sadness and pride. She knew how difficult it was for you, and she respected the strength it took to keep going.
==========================
The semester was drawing to a close, but the weight of everything felt heavier than ever. You had done your best to keep pushing forward, but the cumulative stress and heartbreak had finally reached a breaking point. That night, after another rough shift at the club, you found yourself standing outside Wanda's apartment, drenched from the pouring rain. Without thinking, you pounded on her door, the desperate need for comfort overriding any lingering hesitation.
When Wanda opened the door, her eyes widened in shock at the sight of you. Your makeup was smeared from tears and rain, your hair plastered to your face, and your stage outfit clung to your soaked skin. Without a word, she pulled you inside, the warmth of her apartment a stark contrast to the cold outside.
"Come here," she said gently, guiding you towards the bathroom. Her voice was soft, filled with concern, as she grabbed a towel and began to dry you off. "Let's get you out of these clothes."
You didn't resist as she helped you out of your wet stage outfit, her touch tender and careful. Wanda filled the tub with hot water, and you sank into it, drawing your knees to your chest. The heat enveloped you, but it did little to ease the turmoil inside.
Wanda rolled up her sleeves and took a cloth, dipping it in the water before gently washing your back. "What happened, sweetie?" she asked softly, her voice filled with a mix of worry and tenderness.
Tears welled up again, and you struggled to find the words. "I just... I couldn't take it anymore. Everything feels so overwhelming. I feel like I'm drowning."
Wanda continued to wash your back, her movements slow and soothing. "It's okay," she murmured. "You're safe here. Take your time."
You took a shaky breath, the warmth of the bath and Wanda's presence slowly starting to calm you. "I miss you," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "I've tried to move on, to focus on my classes and my job, but it's been so hard without you."
Wanda's hand paused for a moment before resuming its gentle strokes. "I miss you too," she confessed, her voice breaking slightly. "Every day has been a struggle, knowing that I hurt you and that we're both suffering because of this."
You turned your head to look at her, the vulnerability in her eyes mirroring your own. "I don't know what to do, Wanda. I feel so lost."
She put the cloth aside and leaned in, wrapping her arms around you from behind, her cheek resting against your wet hair. "We'll figure it out together," she said softly. "I don't have all the answers, but I know we can't keep going like this. Maybe we need to find a way to make this work, despite everything."
You closed your eyes, leaning into her embrace, the warmth of her body providing a comfort you had been desperately missing. "But how? The risks... they're still there."
"I know," Wanda replied, her voice steady but filled with emotion. "But maybe we can find a way to manage them. We don't have to have all the answers right now. We just need to take it one step at a time."
You nodded, feeling a glimmer of hope for the first time in weeks. "I want that. I want to be with you, no matter what it takes."
Wanda tightened her embrace, her lips brushing against your temple. "Then we'll find a way," she whispered. "We'll take it slow, be careful, and support each other. We don't have to face this alone."
The two of you stayed like that for a long time, the warmth of the bath and Wanda's comforting presence easing the pain that had been weighing on your heart.
After the bath, Wanda helped you into one of her shirts and a pair of soft shorts. The fabric was warm and comforting, carrying her familiar scent that enveloped you like a gentle hug. As you stood there, feeling the weight of the evening slowly lifting, Wanda led you to the living room.
She sat you down on the couch, then disappeared briefly into the kitchen, returning with two mugs of hot tea. Handing one to you, she settled beside you, her presence a reassuring anchor.
"Thank you," you murmured, wrapping your hands around the warm mug. The steam rising from the tea provided a soothing balm for your frazzled nerves.
Wanda smiled softly, brushing a strand of hair from your face. "You don't have to thank me. I care about you, and I hate seeing you like this."
You took a sip of the tea, letting its warmth seep into you. "It's just been so hard. Everything feels like it's falling apart."
Wanda reached out, taking your hand in hers. "I know. I’m sorry that it had to be like this. It truly was the last thing I wanted."
Her words brought a lump to your throat. "It just feels like…I don’t even know…I’ve never felt like this before."
Wanda squeezed your hand gently. "Then we take it one day at a time. We support each other, and we figure it out as we go. It's not going to be easy, but I believe we can make it work."
You looked into her eyes, finding a strength there that you desperately needed. "I want to believe that too," you whispered. "I want to be with you, no matter what."
Wanda leaned in, her forehead resting against yours. "We'll get through this. I know we will darling."
The two of you sat there in silence for a while, the steady rhythm of your breaths synchronizing. The pain and uncertainty were still there, but they felt more manageable with Wanda by your side. 
You checked your phone looking at the time it was already three in the morning.
Eventually, she pulled away slightly, her eyes searching yours. "Why don't we watch something? Distract ourselves for a bit."
You nodded, grateful for the distraction. "Okay. What do you have in mind?"
Wanda smiled, reaching for the remote. "How about we start with an episode of Bob's Burgers? I did promise, after all."
You couldn't help but laugh, a genuine smile breaking through the lingering sadness. "I'd like that."
She turned on the TV, and as the familiar opening theme of Bob's Burgers filled the room, you shifted with her until you were laying on top of her, feeling a sense of peace you hadn't felt in weeks. She pulled a blanket over the two of you.
As the episode played, you found yourself laughing along with the antics of the Belcher family. Wanda's arm around you and the warmth of her presence made everything feel a little bit better. The future was still uncertain, but in that moment, you knew you had someone who cared about you deeply, someone who was willing to face the challenges with you.
And for the first time in a long while, you felt a glimmer of hope that things could get better. One step at a time, with Wanda by your side.
========================
One year later, your life looked completely different. The hardships and uncertainties of the past had given way to a future filled with promise and happiness. You and Wanda had navigated through the complexities of your relationship, emerging stronger and more connected than ever.
The apartment you shared was a cozy, vibrant space that reflected both of your personalities. The walls were adorned with a mix of Wanda's favorite vintage posters and your collection of quirky art. Plants thrived in every corner, adding a touch of nature to your urban sanctuary. The smell of fresh coffee and Wanda's homemade pastries often filled the air, creating an atmosphere of warmth and comfort.
It was a Saturday morning, and the sun streamed through the windows, casting a golden glow over the living room. You were curled up on the couch, a stack of textbooks and notes spread out before you as you prepared for your final exams. Wanda was in the kitchen, humming softly as she prepared breakfast.
"How's the studying going?" Wanda called out, her voice cheerful and light.
You looked up from your notes, smiling. "It's going well. Just a few more chapters to review, and I think I'll be ready."
Wanda appeared in the doorway, a plate of pancakes in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. She set them down on the coffee table in front of you, leaning in to kiss your forehead. "I know you'll do great. You've worked so hard."
"Thanks," you said, feeling a warmth spread through you at her words. "I couldn't have done it without you."
She sat down beside you, her hand finding yours. "We've come a long way, haven't we?"
You nodded, squeezing her hand. "We really have. It's hard to believe how different things are now."
Wanda smiled, her eyes filled with love and pride. "I'm so proud of you. You're about to graduate, and you've accomplished so much. And I'm so happy we took a chance on us."
Your heart swelled with emotion as you looked at her. "Me too. I can't imagine my life without you."
=================
The months leading up to your graduation were a whirlwind of activity and excitement. Wanda was there every step of the way, supporting you through the stress of final exams and celebrating each milestone with you. You both balanced your lives between work, study, and nurturing your relationship, finding joy in the little moments you shared.
Graduation day arrived, and the sense of accomplishment and joy was overwhelming. Dressed in your cap and gown, you stood in the crowd of graduates, scanning the audience for Wanda. When your name was called, and you walked across the stage to receive your diploma, the cheers and applause seemed to fade into the background as you locked eyes with her, her smile brighter than ever.
After the ceremony, you found her waiting for you, a bouquet of flowers in her hands. "Congratulations, graduate," she said, her voice choked with emotion.
You took the flowers, pulling her into a tight embrace. "We did it," you whispered, feeling tears of happiness welling up.
Wanda pulled back slightly, her hands cupping your face. "You did it. And I'm so incredibly proud of you."
The celebration continued into the evening, with friends and family joining you both for a party at your apartment. Laughter and music filled the air, and as the night wore on, you found yourself standing on the balcony with Wanda, the city lights twinkling below.
"It's been quite a journey," you said, leaning against the railing, Wanda's arms wrapped around you from behind.
"It has," she agreed, resting her chin on your shoulder. "And it's just the beginning. We have so much ahead of us."
You turned to face her, your eyes filled with love and gratitude. "I can't wait to see what the future holds, as long as I'm with you."
Wanda smiled, her eyes shining with the same love and commitment. "Me too. Here's to our future, together."
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woso-dreamzzz · 2 months
Text
Treat You Better V
Laia Codina x Reader
Summary: Sometimes, Laia can't understand you
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When Laia first joined Arsenal, she studied English hard.
Arsenal was a big change and she wanted to hit the ground running and she did for the most part.
The only issue she had was understanding everyone's accents.
You and Katie are very Irish. It leaks from your every pore, right down to the way that you both decorate your cubbies at training.
Your accent is a little softer than Katie's, more tempered by the English people you surround yourself with.
It's softest at home with Laia, when you're both curled up on the sofa together, watching some mindless tv show to help Laia with her English.
But your Dublin accent comes out when you're around Katie.
It's thick and throaty and Laia is always shocked when it suddenly switches back to your softer one when it's just you two again.
Laia loves your accent, she really does. It's different to everyone else's she's heard and it's so unapologetically you that she can't hate it.
But, god, does it make you difficult to understand.
Laia can barely follow along as she sits at your side at the breakfast place you've dragged her to. Katie's there as well, opposite you in the booth.
You're both talking at a mile a minute and Laia just can't keep up. Your words jumbled into each other and it's like you don't even need to come up for air, your accent mixing with Katie's until it's all just a jumbled mess in Laia's ears.
She'd be a little bit annoyed if it weren't for the fact that you're still holding her hand under the table and the look on your face is so happy that clearly she isn't missing out on much by not being able to understand.
It also helps that Caitlin, who sits opposite her, looks like she's in the exact same boat. That helps a little, that a native English speaker also can't keep up with the fast paced Irish accent that's filled the booth.
"Honestly," Caitlin whispers over the table, leaning forward so you and Katie can't hear her," It's like listening to the radio in another language. I can never tell what they're saying."
"It's easier when it's just me and y/n," Laia confesses and Caitlin nods along.
"Yeah. Katie always slows it down when it's just us. I don't know what it is about those two being together that brings out this side of them."
"Side of who?"
It's impressive the way your accent switches back to what Laia normally hears when you're not addressing Katie, the way it softens and goes smooth.
"No one," Caitlin says.
You look at her in confusion for a moment before shrugging and turning back to your conversation with Katie.
It's not just with Katie that your accent switches though, Laia notes as she sits next to you on the sofa one night.
You're on the phone to your parents and it goes all thick and throaty again. You're not talking quite as quickly and you're not talking quite as hard but your accent does turn back to what Laia supposes it must be like at home in Ireland.
She has no idea what you're saying but she could listen to you waffle on forever.
You're talking to your mother about something, Laia can only catch a few words here and there but she can't help but stare, a small smile on your face as you laugh at whatever your mum has just said to.
"Yeah, yeah," You say," I've got her here. Do you want to talk to her?"
Laia sits up a little bit.
"Laia, my Mam wants to talk to you."
It's in that moment, when Laia takes the phone from you and greets your mother, that she realises your accent was a much more tame version than everyone else's.
Your Mam speaks fast and without her being here in person, Laia can't attempt to lip read to fill the gaps. She talks fast and it seems like she's asking questions that Laia stumbles through answering, hoping that her hesitation is put down to English not being her first language.
Somehow though, with her head reeling and a little more stumbling over her words, she makes it through the conversation and you both say goodbye to your Mam.
"She approves," You preen, puffing out your chest like her approval of your girlfriend is the greatest thing you've ever done," You really impressed her."
"I did?"
"Yeah. She's super impressed. She said that she'll come over to visit us soon. You haven't lived if you haven't tried my Mam's roast. Perfect every time."
You relax back on the sofa, arm flung over Laia's shoulder.
"I...But how? I-I stumbled over my words. I couldn't under-"
She catches herself but you seem to know exactly what she was going to say.
"Understand her? Yeah, Mam does that whenever I date anyone that isn't Irish. She really exaggerates the accent but you really pushed through."
"Wait, that was on purpose?"
"For sure. Mam won't accept anyone who doesn't try. She was really impressed with you."
Laia grins, feeling pretty proud of herself.
"It's why me and Katie have been training you." You grin at Laia as she looks at you in disbelief. "If you could handle us together then you can certainly handle my Mam."
536 notes · View notes
rafedarling · 10 days
Text
𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰
pairing: drew starkey x reader
based on this request: Drew and reader! After watching Outer Banks season 1, out of curiosty because the reader finds him attractive, she goes on his instagram but accidently presses ''Follow'' but panics and unfollows. She wants to play it cool you know, and not be that ''fangirl'' incase she ever bumped into him. Not that she thinks she would ever have a chance, but you know? She is surprised when he follows her a few hours later since she is just a 'normal person' and not a celebrity or influencer. He sends her a message and kind of jokingly being like ''Was I that boring to follow'' or something and a conversation just takes off | word count: 1,2k
warning: english is not my native language.
au: like, reblog, comment & feedback are much appreciated 🥹 | taglist | tagging: @rubixgsworld @rafeyslamb @bisexualcvnt @tracymbcm @maybankslover @mileyraes @akobx @noobmazter69 @xoxohoneymoongirl @xoxosblogsblog @wearemadeofstardust0 @saviorcomplexrry @littlelamy @enjoymyloves @stuffyownswrld
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You had just finished watching the first season of Outer Banks, and to say you were hooked would be an understatement. The show had everything—drama, adventure, and a cast that was undeniably attractive. But there was one character who had particularly caught your eye: Rafe Cameron, played by the actor Drew Starkey. You weren’t sure if it was the intensity he brought to the character or just his piercing blue eyes, but either way, you found yourself thinking about him long after the credits rolled.
Out of curiosity, and maybe a little bit of a crush, you decided to check out his Instagram. You were sure it was just harmless fun, a way to see what the actor was like off-screen. After all, it wasn’t like you were ever going to meet him in real life. You were just a normal person, living a normal life, far removed from the glitz and glamour of Hollywood.
You typed his name into the search bar and quickly found his profile. As you scrolled through his photos, you couldn’t help but notice how different he seemed from his character. He had a warm, genuine smile in most of his pictures, and the captions were often humorous or thoughtful. It was refreshing, and it only made you like him more.
Without really thinking, your thumb hovered over the “Follow” button. Before you could second-guess yourself, you pressed it—almost instinctively. But as soon as you did, panic set in. Oh no, what did I just do? Your mind raced. I wasn’t supposed to actually follow him!
In a frenzy, you quickly unfollowed him, hoping he wouldn’t notice. Your heart was pounding in your chest, and you couldn’t believe you had been so careless. What if he saw? you thought, mortified. You weren’t trying to be that person—just another fangirl who accidentally reveals her crush on a celebrity.
You put your phone down, trying to distract yourself with something else, but your mind kept drifting back to that split-second decision. He has millions of followers, you reassured yourself. There’s no way he would notice one random person following and unfollowing him.
Hours passed, and you had almost managed to forget the whole thing when your phone buzzed with a notification. You glanced at the screen and froze. It was a notification from Instagram: @drewstarkey followed you back.
Your heart skipped a beat. Wait, what? You stared at the screen, blinking in disbelief. Drew Starkey, the Drew Starkey, had followed you? But why? You were just an ordinary person, not a celebrity or influencer. The thought that he might have actually noticed you made your stomach do a little flip.
Before you could fully process what was happening, another notification appeared—a message from him. With shaky fingers, you tapped on it, your heart racing.
Drew Starkey:
Was I that boring to follow? 😅
You stared at the message, completely floored. He noticed. He actually noticed. And not only that, he had messaged you, joking about it. You weren’t sure whether to laugh or cry, but one thing was certain: you needed to reply.
Taking a deep breath, you started typing.
You:
Oh my gosh, no! It was totally an accident. I swear I’m not a weirdo or anything…
You paused, rereading the message. Great, now I sound like a weirdo, you thought, rolling your eyes at yourself. You quickly added:
You:
I was just checking out your profile after watching Outer Banks. But then I got nervous and unfollowed because I didn’t want to seem like a fangirl.
There was a brief moment of silence as you watched the three little dots indicating he was typing. Your heart was in your throat, and you couldn’t believe this was actually happening.
Drew Starkey:
No need to be nervous. I’m just a regular guy who happens to play a crazy one on TV. 😄
You felt your nerves ease a little at his response. He seemed so down-to-earth and genuine, which only made you like him more.
You:
Well, you’re really good at playing the crazy guy. I didn’t think I’d ever root for Rafe, but you made him so compelling!
Drew Starkey:
Thanks! That means a lot. It’s always fun to play characters that are so different from who I am in real life.
You:
I can imagine. It must be challenging, though.
Drew Starkey:
Definitely. But it’s also rewarding when people like you notice the work that goes into it. By the way, what did you think of the show?
The conversation was flowing so naturally, it was almost surreal. Here you were, chatting with Drew Starkey like you were old friends, and he was genuinely interested in what you had to say.
You:
I loved it! It was such a wild ride from start to finish. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. And the cast is amazing—I can tell you all have great chemistry.
Drew Starkey:
We really do. It’s like a little family on set. I’m glad that comes across on screen.
There was a brief pause, and then another message came through.
Drew Starkey:
So, since we’re already chatting, mind if I keep following you? 😉
You couldn’t help but smile at the cheeky tone of his message. He was clearly teasing you, but there was something sweet about it, too.
You:
Well, I guess I can allow that. 😏
Drew Starkey:
Good to know I’m not banned from your profile. 😄
You:
Not at all. But now I feel like I have to step up my Instagram game. 😂
Drew Starkey:
No pressure! I’m just here for the good vibes and dog pics, if you have any.
You laughed, feeling completely at ease now. This whole situation had gone from panic-inducing to utterly charming in a matter of minutes.
You:
Well, you’re in luck. I do have a dog, and she’s very photogenic.
Drew Starkey:
Now I’m really glad I followed you. 🐶
The two of you continued chatting for a while, sharing stories about your pets, favorite shows, and the little things in life that made you happy. It was easy, comfortable, and fun—like catching up with a friend you hadn’t seen in a while.
Eventually, you noticed the time and realized how late it had gotten.
You:
I should probably let you go. I didn’t mean to keep you up all night!
Drew Starkey:
No worries, this was fun. I’m glad you accidentally followed me. 😁
You:
Me too. Thanks for being so cool about it.
Drew Starkey:
Anytime. And hey, don’t be a stranger. Feel free to message me anytime.
You:
I will. Goodnight, Drew.
Drew Starkey:
Goodnight, Y/n.
You set your phone down with a huge smile on your face, your heart still fluttering from the unexpected turn of events. What had started as a simple curiosity had led to something much more—an actual conversation with Drew Starkey. And the best part? He’d followed you first.
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seospicybin · 1 year
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TOO HOT TO HANDLE.
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PART I
Bangchan x reader. (s)
Too Hot To Handle Masterlist
Synopsis: You and Chan become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (15,7k words)
Author's note: Pls send my birthday wishes to your boyfriend. As always, enjoy and feel free to vent in my inbox :)
CHRIS: Nah, I wouldn't say I'm a playboy [shyly laughs] My best feature? My body [Shows off abs] I'm joking, [laughs] it's my dimples [smiles] I don't have a type. Looks are relative but there has to be a strong physical attraction [Smiles]
-
In this sunny weather, it wouldn't take long for Chan to get some color on his pale skin.
A little tan will help to make his sculpted abs more defined, especially on camera. He's been working out diligently to present his best look for this show.
Lust Island.
What possibly could this show be about? If he should draw any clues from the name of the show itself, he guesses there'll be physical contact involved in a pleasurable way.
The real reason he joined the show is not solely that he wants to get some action. He can get them anytime, anywhere when he wants to.
Bangchan wants to put himself out there and explore things outside of producing music. He wants to push himself out of his comfort zone. By comfort zone, he means his studio.
Once Bangchan puts his swimming trunks on though, he prepares himself, mentally and physically as his name gets called. It's his turn to enter the villa.
When he thinks about it again, it's not the first time he gets to be filmed, and being in front of the camera, there's no use for him to be nervous.
Bangchan laughs at his cowardly thought and puts on a perfect posture, standing straight and broadening his shoulders that are as wide as the Pacific Ocean.
Bangchan is right to be confident about himself because the girls like what they see when he walks in.
There are four of them waiting by the standing table with bottles of champagne in buckets of ice.
The other male guests are no competition to him, a few inches of height difference is nothing when he's confident with his looks.
He goes to introduce himself, giving side hugs to the male and a kiss on the cheek to the female guests. He does his trick to leave a lasting impression by holding their hands and looking them in the eyes as he says his name.
"You can call me Chris," he says with a smile.
She flutters her eyelids at him, a way to get his attention, and says her name, "I'm Lola!"
Lola is a gorgeous, dark-haired girl who speaks like she's half moaning, some men dig it but Chan, not really.
Chan turns to the other female guest and does the same, "Chris," he shortly introduces himself.
"Jane," she introduces back with a thick British accent and it's good to know that he's not the only one who owns pale skin.
"Love the accent," she says with a smile that showcases her perfect white teeth.
"Likewise," he immediately replies and grabs himself a glass of wine.
-
CHRIS: This is the first I have been surrounded by this many beautiful people in one place.
-
To say that he's not the slightest bit attracted would be a lie.
But there are only two of them for now and there'll be more to come, hopefully, there'll be one that attracts him. For now, there's not enough attraction.
However, Lola is refilling his glass without him asking and checking him up and down, doing it not so subtly only tells him that she's attracted to him.
"Thank you," he mutters and has a toast with her.
Two more female guests are entering the villa, one is a stunning blonde with dazzling blue eyes and the other is a tall goddess with golden skin.
The boys are howling in excitement as the selection has expanded. Chan, trapped in the corner with Lola, waves his hand at them.
The blond girl approaches her to hug him, "I'm Dani."
"Chris," he introduces with a smile.
"Australian, huh?" She guesses.
"Guilty!" He says, "What about you?"
"I'm Spanish," she answers which explains the sheer accent in her English, and proceeds to say something in her native language to him.
Once again, Chan doesn't have a type but hearing Dani speak in Spanish does something to him.
"You have no idea what I'm saying, right?" She asks with a flirtatious smile.
"Not at all," he honestly answers and bursts into laughter.
-
CHRIS: Dani is undeniably gorgeous and so is Alicia, so is Lola, so is Jane... [chuckles]
-
Another two male guests enter and one of them is sucking all of the female's attention with a nice body, nice teeth, and a height that Chan doesn't have. But he wouldn't let it belittle him. Physical appearance is nothing without skill and Chan has both.
Everyone is waiting for the last guest to arrive and his glass is magically full again, he turns to the side to see Lola smiling at her.
Chan takes the bottle from her to refill her glass for her, he gets interrupted by the loud cheer of everyone welcoming the last guest into the villa.
"Hi, you sexy bunch!" You greet.
The guy standing next to him, who he believes his name is Iain, puts his hand on his shoulder and gushes at the sight of you, "Man, she's so hot!"
Chan agrees with him. He notices the confident strides and a scintillating smile, he likes seeing those things on a girl.
You start going around, introducing yourself with a cheek-to-cheek kiss at the end of the introduction. When it gets to his turn, Chan is already prepared to impress you.
You lean in close as you ask his name, "Hi, what's your name?"
Chan is gobsmacked by the strong eye contact you're making with him, making him lose his train of thought for a while.
"Chris," he answers.
You let out a soft laugh and lean in closer, "Sorry, can you tell me again?"
He understands that you can't really hear him with everyone chatting to each other all at once mixed with the sound of the waves crashing in the background.
It comes to his advantage to lean in close to your ear and tell him his name, "It's Chris."
"Nice to meet you, Chris!" You say but instead of a cheek-to-cheek kiss, you put your hand around his neck and pull him for a quick hug.
The hug only lasts for a few seconds but he's happy with what he got. He agrees that physical appearance doesn't matter much but your body, oh... it's enough to send his mind wanders so far off from his head.
"Gorgeous!" He calmly beams, it sounds strange because it doesn't match the excitement he has when he looks at you.
Chan doesn't want to come on strong on the first meeting, he knows that he has a lot of time to get to know you and vice versa.
"Thank you," you mutter with a smile.
-
CHRIS: Bright eyes, cute smile... I think I finally found my type. [Grins]
-
Chan hurriedly grabs the bottle of champagne the second he sees you grab a glass. He delightfully fills your glass with the bubbly wine.
"What a gentleman!" You exclaim with a smile.
He fills the glass just right to not overflow it, "The bar is that low, huh?"
You lift the glass but not taking a sip yet, "I usually go for the bad boys," you share.
Chan is aware that he doesn't have the typical look of a bad guy, that would be Jace with his sleeve tattoos and pierced eyebrow. He feels the need to show you that sometimes what's inside doesn't match with the exterior.
He fiercely looks at you and refills his glass next, "I don't look like one?"
You seem to hesitate to give him an honest answer, "Oh, well..."
Chan tips his head to the side and holds intense eye contact with you, "I can be bad if I want to."
"Yeah?" You say with a tone that sounds a little condescending to him.
That only motivates him to prove you wrong but he keeps his calm and shrugs in response.
You bring your glass close to your mouth and ask, "How bad?"
He grins and runs his tongue along the front row of his teeth, he takes a sip of his wine to make you wait for an answer.
"Why don't you find out?" He dares you with a sly smile.
One corner of your mouth raises higher than the other, forming a killer smirk on your face. You clink your glass with him and say, "Can't wait to find out!"
-
CHRIS: The eyes, Gosh! There was so much eye contact, it feels like a foreplay already [laughs]
-
Chan has no clue how the show is going to play out.
Is everyone going to mingle with each other and be free to do whatever they want for the next 30 days? It's possible because everyone is of age and signed the same contracts but he doubts it'll be that easy. It's a TV show, there's always a catch.
The day continues with a tour around the villa, everyone has seen the swimming pools and the small workout area down the beach so it's time to check inside.
Weirdly, everyone is excited about sharing the bedroom, probably because there are five beds and there are ten of them which means, everyone has to find a bed partner.
Chan's eyes dart at you who's sitting on the other bed with Luke, leaning back with your elbows propped against the mattress.
"Oh, it’s nice and quiet," Luke says, testing the bed by rocking it.
You're laughing as your hands fly to your chest, stopping your breasts from bouncing along with the bed.
While everyone else is joining in on the waves of laughter, Chan is busy assessing who else has their eyes on you. Iain is an easy guess but you'll go for someone like Jace, so he has to keep an eye on him too.
-
CHRIS: My eyes are set on a girl and uh... it's hard not to look at her so I refuse– [laughs] I refuse to share a bed with anyone else but her.
-
The boys are gathered on the beach and Chan doesn't know for what reason. He sits on the wooden bench next to Pierre with his blonde hair shining under the bright sun.
"Okay, let's cut the chit-chat!" Jace says.
His tattoed index finger is pointing at Luke, "You go first. Who's your number one?"
"Dani. Absolutely, Dani," Luke answers without a beat, and that only shows how keen he is to win her.
It's an open war, Chan reckons but it's good to know who he's up against so he can set a strategy and try to win.
It's Iain's turn and he simply answers, "Dani!"
So that means Chan's guess is incorrect yet it doubts him if Iain has no interest in you.
Sitting next to him, Pierre answers, "Alicia!"
Pierre then uneasily glances at Luke as he also chooses the same girl with him, "But also, Dani."
Luke scoffs at him and says, "She's cute, I know."
"Please, stop glaring at me!" Pierre jokingly says.
So far, there are three votes for Dani and that's not a surprise, she's one hell of an attractive girl, it just happens that she's not quite caught his attention like you do.
Pierre nudges Chan with his elbow, "Your turn, Chris!"
Chan confidently announces your name as his first choice and says it with a tint of possessiveness as if you were already his. He wants to let them know that he's going for what he wants and no one is going to get in between.
"What do you guys think of Lola?" Jace asks with a shit-eating grin.
Despite the tattoos that cover most of his back and chest, Jace is grinning as he asks everyone about his choice of girl.
"Lola is... Lola is cute," Chan says while rubbing his hands together in front of him.
Pierre agrees with him and nods, "Yeah, she's cute."
"I like Lola," Jace coyly admits.
Jace claps his hands together and points at the three men who are going for the same girl, "I see we have three men in a competition for Dani," he says.
Luke half-heartedly agrees, "The three of us are different so..."
It's a relief that Chan doesn't have any competition or that's what it seems, but he gets curious about the three men.
"Are you guys comfortable stepping on each other's toes?" He asks in pure curiosity.
"As long as Pierre doesn't step on me," Iain chimes in with a laugh, "Just look at his feet!"
All of them burst into laughter as Pierre lifts both feet into the air, showing everyone how big they are. He's a basketball player so that explains but Chan indeed doesn't want to be stepped on by those feet.
-
CHRIS: I say good luck and... may the best man win.
-
There's time left until everyone has to get ready for the welcome party tonight.
Chan can't relax yet just because he's the only one going after you. Two out of those three men will eventually have to choose another girl and he can't just leave it to luck, he needs to make some moves.
He goes to the dressing room only to find Lola and Jane in there, talking while fixing their make-up. Chan feels like interrupting so he goes to the bathroom next even though he's not sure he'll find you there.
He was too haste to think so, he finds you there leaning close to the mirror and dabbing lip balm on your plump lips. The shape your body takes as you bend over the sink, oh... he reminds himself to calm down.
"Hi," he sweetly greets you.
You see him through the reflection in the mirror and greet him back, "Hi!"
He walks over to the sink and leans his side against it, "How are you?"
You slowly turn to the side facing him while capping the tube of lip balm in your hand, "I'm good, great. You?
"Never been better," he answers.
You softly smile and put the lip balm back into a pouch, "So... What do you think going to happen tonight?"
The possibilities are endless but Chan settles on the simplest answer that fits his agenda, "What's going to happen is you and I share a bed."
You crack a low laugh and put one hand against the sink, "You want us to share a bed?"
But what he needs to hear is your answer, "What do you think?"
You consider it for a moment then say, "We'll see."
That's not an answer he wants, it's not even close to enough. Sure, Chan can play it cool but that's not who he is. Returning from the depth of his thoughts, he notices that you're checking him out from head to toe and doing it not so subtly.
Your eyes travel down his body and the next minute, you trap him in your eyes again.
"Are those real?"
"What?" He asks in confusion.
"Those abs," you say with a shy laugh.
He likes a confident girl but seeing you getting shy is endearingly cute.
"Who knows? It could be cake?!" You joke.
"Pinch it then!" He playfully dares you.
You hesitate for a moment, then gently put your fingertips on the sculpted muscles on his stomach and gasp in awe, "I can't even pinch it."
Keep running your fingertips on his skin and you playfully say, "It's so hard."
Standing this close to you with your hands on me is doing things to him. Chan swallows air and tries to keep it cool, "If you keep feeling my abs, I'm afraid it won't be the only thing that's hard."
You giggle yet you run your fingers down his abdomen, only stopping when they meet the waistband of his swimming trunks. He gets the urge to touch you in return and without needing to command, his hand automatically flies to your waist.
In this proximity, he can smell the fruity scent of your lip balm, sweet and enticing, making him want to taste it on your lips.
"Are you a good kisser?" He asks with his voice suddenly turning lower.
You slightly tilt your head to the side and flutter your eyelashes at him, "Why don't you find out?"
It's so attractive of you to say those words back to him in a low, sultry voice and make them weapons to weaken him. Just so you know, it works.
Chan bites his lower lip, impatient to crash them against yours. He puts his hand on the arch of your back, then slowly leans in closer, closer...
The sound of people coming to the bathroom shatters the moment, you laugh it off and gently push him away, "Try again later," you tell him.
You stop by the doorway and turn to look at him to add, "Only if you're lucky."
-
CHRIS: That! Right there! That's my type. [Nodding]
-
The boys are going down to the beach where the party is held.
The theme is Welcome to The Jungle and he dressed as his spirit animal, wolf. He shouldn't feel silly as everyone is also dressed in animal costumes.
The boys each take a glass of drink to fuel up for the night. Jace is the one leading by raising his glass high in the air, "Let's have some fun tonight!" He shouts.
Everyone else is following suit, raising their drinks high in the air and having a toast,
The contestants are only allowed to have three drinks max in one day so Chan doesn't need to worry about getting drunk. one drink is already enough to give him the courage to make a move on you tonight.
"There they are!" Luke says, pointing to the girls making their way down the stairs that lead to the beach.
Chan spots you right away, dressed in a costume of a bird with colorful fur and a pair of majestic wings. Suddenly, he feels like flying toward you.
He couldn't be any faster to get to your side and compliment you, "You're so beautiful!"
You brightly smile and make a pose for him, "Do you like it?"
"Spin for me!" He orders.
You do what he says, spinning on your feet and giggling as you almost stumble on your own foot.
Chan offers his hand to help you steady yourself and grins, "One beautiful love bird, aren't you?"
-
CHRIS: I'm on the hunt tonight! [Howls] [Laughs]
-
The music starts playing and everyone gets together in the middle, either dancing or drinking, or both. Chan can't keep his hands off of you ultimately because he was so close to getting a taste of it.
But that's okay, he likes playing this game of push and pull with you. He may have let you out of his arms but never out of his sight, you're only going as far as he let you.
Everyone is excited, a little tipsy, and sexually charged just in time to continue with a game. Lola takes the center and explains how the game works.
"Since we're all dressed like the animals we are..." she gets interrupted by Jace as he roars and bangs on his chest like the animal costume he's wearing.
"Each one of you will take turns to stand here then do your mating call and if any of you animals is attracted," she pauses to look at everyone before continuing, "You can kiss, bite, grab... whatever you want to do!"
It's an easy game to play and everyone is more than ready to answer some mating calls. Since Lola has taken the spot, she plays with her bunny ears and cutely hops on her feet like a rabbit but mewling like a cat.
Chan turns to Jace who's making eyes at her, crawling and walking like the animal he is dressed in, he playfully climbs her body and kisses her neck.
The others are responding with cheers and hoots, watching them going at each other's faces in front of them. It gets everyone impatient to take their turn.
The game is heating when Dani takes her turn, he can see that the three men in competition are getting ready to take their chance to kiss her and perhaps, try to be the best kisser of all.
Dani doesn't do a mating call of sorts, she just stands there and simply says, "Come and get it!"
Pierre dashes to get to her first and earns the first smooch, Iain and Luke are steadily waiting for their turn to kiss. While everyone else is enjoying the raunchy moment, Chan prepares himself because your turn is next. His eyes are following you as you walk to the appointed spot and turn to face everyone, you're laughing in giddy before trying to whistle as loud as you can.
Chan immediately gets up from his seat, but he hears a terrible lion roar from the other direction and sees Iain make his way to you.
He knows Iain still has an interest in you, but this will be his first and the last kiss he gets from you. He glares at Iain as he walks back to his seat.
Ignoring the rage inside him, Chan puts on his vicious eyes and shows his teeth, taking you by surprise as he sinks his teeth into your right breast, then your neck, and finally, your lips.
Iain kind of ruined this first kiss moment but Chan reminds himself that he'll not let anything get in the way of what he wants and this is what he wants. He holds your face with both hands and presses his lips on yours, he greedily kisses you and tugs your lips between his teeth before letting go.
Jace howls the loudest for him as Chan returns to his seat with a triumphant smile, he can taste the win on your lips, he can tell you fancy him more than Iain.
Chan finally takes his turn after Luke and he knows what he needs to do, he's going to howl like a wolf calling for you. He looks at you and says, "Come on!"
You're slyly smiling at him, pretending not to want to come forward but he knows, he knows you want to.
"I know you want it," He fiercely says, addressing you with his eyes.
You get up and break into running at him, not stopping until your body crashes into him in which he gladly welcomes you into his arms.
This is his chance to redo the first kiss so he kisses you, a little gentler than the previous one yet with the same passion. He puts his hands around your waist and without letting go of the kiss, he hoists you, then wraps your legs around his waist.
You yelp in surprise, but that only allows him to slip his tongue into your mouth and kiss you deeper as he holds you tightly.
"I'm going to take this bird home," he says after the.
Chan carries you back to your seat like the winning prize you are. He then silently glances at Iain with a bragging smile plastered on his face.
-
CHRIS: That's right, everyone. Kindly take your hands off of her because she's mine!
-
A lady walks in and Chan assumes she's the host of the show. She smiles and waves at everyone before talking, "Is everyone having fun?"
Everyone answers with a loud cheer and whistles, showing the host a lot of excitement. They're partying, drinking and they got to grab or bite or kiss, nothing to complain about.
"Okay, okay, I hear you all!" She responds with a knowing laugh.
She claps her hands together and turns on her feet to show a big box behind her, "If you look here, I have a surprise..."
Everyone is cooing in curiosity at the sight of it. Looking at the size of the box, it's safe to say that it fits a person inside.
The host has to wait for everyone to calm down to continue talking, "I am excited to announce that we have a surprise visit to start the show and make it special!"
Jace is whooping the loudest while the girls are whispering, wildly guessing by throwing famous people into the sentences.
"Are you ready to take the party to the next level?" She asks everyone.
"YEAH!!!" Everyone collectively answers.
"Okay then!" She flicks her fingers as a cue, then steps aside.
-
CHRIS: Whatever it is. Whoever it is. I'm ready. Give it to me!
-
Chan turns to look at you and asks, "What do you think?"
You shake your head and grin in excitement, "I don't know but it's exciting!"
Everyone is craning their necks and waiting in anticipation as they turn the lights around the box for a dramatic entrance. The door of the box is swinging opening little by little, it's dark to see what's inside, and then the thing inside lights up and chimes.
"OH! FUCK NO!!!" Dani screams and covers her face with both hands.
Chan turns to the side to look at you and you look as devastated as Dani, "You got to be kidding me!" You mutter under your breath.
He looks around and it seems like he's the only one who doesn't get a grasp of what's truly happening. He looks at the cone inside the box again and confusingly asks, "Is that... a speaker?"
You shake your head and whine, "No... It's Lana!"
Lana who? And why is everyone looking either mad or devastated? Would it be embarrassing if he told everyone that he doesn't watch TV or streaming movies like most people?
"Hello and welcome to the retreat!" The cone speaks which Chan has just learned is named Lana.
"You have been specially selected because you are all choosing meaningless sex over genuine relationships," she continues.
Luke gets offended and coughs, "Welp. She's not wrong."
"The purpose of this retreat is to help you gain deeper emotional connections in your personal relationships."
Lola brushes her hair to the back in frustration and groans, "But I don't want that!"
"As always, there are conditions to your stay here. You must abstain from sexual practices for the entirety of your stay."
It takes Chan a minute to process that. On the contract it says that he'll spend a month shooting the show, he does the math in his head and his mouth hangs open.
"Nah, nah, nah," Pierre repeatedly chants in denial.
Lana continues with a list of things everyone can't do in the retreat, "No kissing."
You drop your head on his shoulder at the mention of that and mewl.
"No heavy petting."
Jace drops onto his knees and rests his head on Lola's knee.
"No sex of any kind."
His ears perked and his head snaps in your direction, he gets why you're devastated because now he's just as devastated.
"This also applies to self-gratification."
Jace groans like he's in indescribable pain with his head tilts up looking at the night sky.
"What does that mean?" Jane innocently asks.
"No masturbating," Chan answers to her since everyone else is too busy mourning on their own.
"No–No flicking the beans, you mean?" She asks with eyes widening in horror.
Chan nods in sympathy and he can feel the agony already. He surely can pass a month without having sex but not getting a release from touching his own body, that's the sadistic part of it all.
-
CHRIS: I never... I don't think I can go for weeks without— [drops head] [sighs]
-
"I don't think I can do it," You mutter to him with a painful smile.
Jace is being dramatic once again by saying, "I want to call my mom and tell her to come pick me up."
The tattoos and piercings on his body aren't really reflecting Jace's inner self. It shows an example that a true bad boy doesn't necessarily have to look like it.
Lana cuts off everyone's moans and groans with further announcements.
"As part of your social development, I have allocated a prize of $200,000."
That gets everyone in spirit again and Jace immediately sits back on his seat next to Lola, "Cancel it. No need to call my mom!" He shouts at no one.
With that much money, Chan starts to think of things he can buy with it, some producing kits, a new sofa for his studio, and a recording mic he's been wanting to buy. His train of thought is derailed when Lana continues talking.
"Each time the rules are broken, money will be deducted from the prize fund."
Okay, that's so presumptuous of Chan to think that he'll win that money remembering that he's in a retreat with other horny people. There's no way that the amount of money will stay the same at the end of the retreat.
"Welcome to the retreat!" Lana concludes and leaves with another chime.
-
CHRIS: I met Lana and I understand why everyone is fuming [Laughs]
-
The night takes a hard turn and ends the party for good.
To give the girls time to change because they need more time with the make-up and costumes, the boys are lounging outside by the terrace.
"Oh, there she is!" Iain points at the cone that is now put in every corner of the villa.
Luke leans into the cone and commands, "Lana, go away!"
Chan bursts into laughter and leans back in his seat, "Dude, she's not Siri!"
Pierre is too big to sit on the armrest of the sofa, Chan makes a space for him and tells him to sit there.
"Who's going to sleep with who?"
The three competing guys are looking at each other, it's still unclear which one of them Dani is going to choose.
"Why don't we let them choose?" Jace calmly says that he knows for sure that Lola is going to sleep with him.
And Chan has nothing to worry about because he knows you're going to choose him.
The boys take their pick of bed and Chan chooses the one in the corner next to the big window. He's lying on the bed with hands tucked behind his head, waiting for the girls to come into the bedroom and choose their bed partner.
Alicia comes first and she seems to have made up her mind on the bed next to him which is Pierre's bed.
Chan turns to the side and says, "Nice one, bro!"
Pierre gives him a fistbump as a sign of victory and makes space on the bed for Alicia.
Lola is the next one and it's just what he expected, she jumps onto Jace's bed in which Jace enthusiastically waits with his open arms.
The time he's been waiting for is here, he sees you coming into the bedroom dressed in a cropped white top and shorts.
You're still beautiful to him with a bare face and your hair is down, his heart is beating faster and faster as you make your way to his bed.
Chan takes his hands away from under his head as you climb onto the bed, then pats the space between his legs, "Come here, baby!"
You crawl to him and sit where he asked you to, between his legs with your back resting against his chest. Chan wastes no time to cage you in his big arms, then buries his nose in your neck to drink in your heavenly scent.
His hand accidentally brushes over your breasts and despite that it's accidental, he can see that you're not wearing a bra underneath.
"I usually sleep naked," he shares with you.
You slightly turn your head to the side to meet his eyes, "Me too."
Chan, having not yet processed that he's in a sex retreat is not aware that information will most likely do him no good.
"Are you a good cuddler?" You ask.
He nuzzles his nose into your hair, "Oh, you're in for a treat!"
You comfortably rest your head on his shoulder as he slips his fingers into your hands and intertwines them together, resting them on your stomach afterward.
It suddenly turns quiet when Dani enters the bedroom and Chan is enjoying the drama about to unfold in front of him. He and Pierre exchange glances at each other. Now that Pierre has dropped out of the competition, that leaves Dani with two options left, Luke or Iain.
But it's clear that Dani has come to a decision to share the bed with Luke as she casually gets on his bed, "I'll sleep here," she says.
That leaves Iain with no choice but to sleep with Jane.
"Goodnight everyone!" Jace sweetly says to everyone in the room the second the lights are off.
It's a long day and he's still processing everything that happened but it's all worth it because now, he's sleeping next to you.
Chan puts his hand on your waist and pulls you close until your back meets his chest. He likes how your body molds perfectly into his and you snuggle more against his body, your ass rubbing against his crotch. Intentionally or not, he'll eventually get hard because of you.
You put your hand on his jaw and softly kiss his cheek, "Goodnight!"
He places a long kiss on your cheek in return, "Goodnight!" He says, adding a quick kiss on your shoulder after.
-
CHRIS: I don't even know if I'd be able to sleep next to a hot girl and not do anything. [Shakes head]
-
It's morning but the lights aren't on yet.
Chan makes use of the absence of light by cuddling you under the cover, putting his hand around you, and pressing kisses on your bare shoulder, then down your arm.
He hears you humming then softly rubbing your hand on his forearm.
Chan puts his mouth close to your ear, "You're awake?"
You don't say anything but lowly hum as his hand glides down your thigh and gently squeezes on the flesh. Then you turn your head at him and with eyes still closed, you lowly speak, "Nice."
He quietly laughs because you're slurring your words, "What?" He asks.
You turn your head around to whisper it to him so everyone else can't hear it, "Your morning wood."
Chan completely forgot about it but it's too late to hide it, you're probably been feeling his morning wood poking at your ass cheek for a while now. He takes his hand away from your thigh and rests it on your stomach.
"Now I kind of want to see it," you playfully say with a sly smile.
"Mmh... don't worry, you'll see," he seductively whispers to you.
Thankfully, the lights are on and Chan has time to tame his morning wood before he has to start the day.
The cone perched on the small glass table lights up and chimes, "Good morning, everyone!"
It only reminds Chan of the torment he puts himself in. He chooses to stay lying on his bed while you sit against the headboard of the bed with his hand resting on your thigh.
"A reminder that you're no longer in Lust Island and this is the first day of your retreat. Enjoy!" Lana keeps his morning greeting brief yet painful.
Luke groans with a pillow covering his face, "This is like... a nightmare."
Sure, it's hard to stay sexless for a whole month but to say this a nightmare when he sleeps next to a beautiful girl like you, Chan disagrees.
The day starts with working out at the beach with Pierre and he's doing his last rep of push-ups when Jace joins them. He's picking up a dumbbell and groans even before he picks it up.
"I don't know about you but I couldn't sleep much last night," Jace says.
Pierre laughs at him, "Wait, wait, are you—"
"Nah," Jace instantly denies, "I'm just waiting for someone to break the rule first."
Chan sits on the mat with his body coated in sweat, "I bet my money on Luke."
Pierre and Jace hoots at the same time, then slapping each other's chests, "Oh, yeah, damn!"
"Don't you laugh! You're close on second, Jace!" Chan says to him, almost falling over to the back as he laughs.
The hilarity ensues even after Jace starts lifting his dumbbells while standing, facing the vast blue sea.
"What about you, Aussie boy?" He asks.
Chan shields his eyes from the sun with his hand, "What about me?"
Jace shoots him a sly smirk, "Hey, I know, I see everything."
"Oh, yes, yes, he's all over her," Pierre eggs in just to tease him.
Chan glares at him and points his finger at him, "Watch out. I'm sleeping next to you!"
Pierre holds in his laughter, "I won't tell if you don't tell."
Everyone's curiosity is about to get fulfilled as Lana calls everyone to gather in the cabana. Seeing you for the first time after this morning, looking so stunning in a black bikini.
He sits right next to you at the end of the curved sofa with Lana already sitting right in the center of the wooden table.
"I'm nervous," Lola says, even though Lana hasn't come online yet.
Then comes the melodic chime and everyone gets tensed all at once. Seeing everyone nervous, makes Chan nervous too so he puts his arm around you to comfort him.
"Hello, everyone!" Lana begins.
There are various answers but everyone is half-heartedly replying to her.
"You were brought here to form deeper emotional connections and last night, you were given strict rules to adhere to."
Lana sounds not pleased and Chan wonders if anyone has broken the rules yet. He knows for sure that you and him are not breaking any so he scans to spot any guilty faces.
"Those rules forbid sexual contact of any kind. Regrettably, a few minutes later there was a breach of the rules," Lana informs.
"Ooh..." A few people coo in response.
Chan continues his search for guilty faces, his bet is still on Luke but it could be anyone.
"Does this mean it was last night?" Jane asks, looking the most innocent out of the bunch.
Jace slyly laughs and looks at everyone, "Okay, so, who did it?"
Now Chan is not the only one on the hunt for the guilty ones. Everyone is trying to see what is not visible to the naked eye.
Not long after, the first culprit starts to show herself. Dani is shaking her leg too much and trying not to look everyone in the eyes. The calm on her face gradually falters with each passing second.
"You're smiling," Pierre points out and everyone's attention is turned to her.
Dani can't keep her calm anymore and decides to come clean, "Yeah, it was me."
"Oh, shit!" Jace yells, representing everyone else in the group.
"With whom?" Lola asks.
Dani shakes her head, "I'm not going to name names," she says with a cryptic smile.
Now everyone is wondering who kissed Dani between Luke and Iain, the whole thing turns into a detective game. Who kissed Dani?
"Nope. It's not me," Iain confesses right away and the suspicion is directed at the last person left on the list.
Everyone is only waiting for Luke to admit it and you shift on your seat as immersed in the moment as...
"It was me," you come forward with your hand raised.
It takes him more than a moment to collect himself and convince himself that he heard it right. You have just confessed as the one who kissed Dani last night.
Jace jolts in his seat, "WHAT?"
Pierre leans at Chan and exclaims, "Wow!"
You look at everyone and apologize, "I'm sorry. I don't know... I just didn't think that we'd get caught," you explain.
As you're about to sit back, you turn your head in the direction of Luke, "I'm sorry for being the first to kiss Dani," you specifically apologize to him.
-
CHRIS: She kissed Dani... [Chuckles] I like that shit [pinches the bridge of his nose]
-
"This breach of the rules has cost the group $3,000," Lana announces, reminding everyone that there's prize money to protect.
"The prize fund now stands at $197,000."
Chan is getting more pessimistic that there'll be any money left at the end of the retreat. With everyone knowing that someone has broken the rules, it's only about time that everyone takes their turn to do it.
Personally, Chan doesn't care about the money, he has enough but that doesn't mean he will act selfishly by breaking the rules. The word 'selfish' isn't what he wants to be associated with him.
Also, it's not his money in the first place, it's everyone's money, therefore he can't waste money without thinking of the group.
You squeeze yourself into the small sofa he's sitting in and put your hand around him, "Hi," you softly say with a smile.
He looks at you and puts your leg over his knee, putting his hand on the back of your thigh, "Hi!"
You put your hand on the nape of his neck where the beads of water are dripping from the end of his hair from swimming.
"You look good wet," you tell him.
Chan brushes his hair to the back and looks at you, "You look better wet," he says with a sly grin.
It's hard being this close to you and not kissing you. Chan has to actively tell his brain to not give in to the temptations even though it's sitting right on his lap.
"Are you mad?" You ask.
He reckons you're asking about the kiss you did with Dani, "How can I be mad at that?" he asks back.
You laugh in response, "Yeah?"
He rests his head to look up at you, "That's just so hot," he replies.
You put your other hand around him and look into his eyes, entrapped him in your mesmerizing gaze.
Chan's plan is simple: Try not to act selfishly.
Then you happened. You kissed Dani, the most popular girl in the retreat, and then you openly admitted it to everyone. That only shows you have no problem breaking the rules, and added the fact that you're so attractive to him making a lethal combination that would likely lead Chan to act against his plan.
-
CHRIS: She's not only too hot to handle. I'm afraid, she's also a lot to handle [grins] but in the best way.
-
To make everyone connect emotionally rather than physically, Lana has set up a workshop in the front yard of the villa.
Everyone is paired up for it and he, of course, is your partner, he expects nothing less than it. Except that Iain gets the chance to be with Dani in this workshop.
A sex expert has been invited to lead the workshop, "Today, we're going to learn about restraint," she announces.
She walks to the center and looks at everyone as she speaks, "This workshop is about learning to slow down, there's so much more to intimacy and physical connections aside from sex."
Today's lesson is exploring each other's erogenous zones, to find the parts of our bodies that are sensitive to sexual stimulation. Chan has no idea if it would help him think less about sex because it seems like it's going to do the opposite to him.
There's a selection of equipment to help, there are feathers, roses, whips, and even melted chocolate on a bowl. You take the first turn, laying on your stomach on the thin mattress so he can start his exploration.
To begin, Chan only wants to use his hand to trace the curve of your body, feeling every inch of your skin with his fingertips.
You look over your shoulder as his hand climbs up your spine and stops at the nape of your neck only to drag his knuckle down your back.
"You're so soft," he murmurs as he puts your hair away from covering your neck.
You flash him a sly smile and hum, "Mmh..."
He takes a feather from the basket and begins to touch your body with it, finding the special spots that make you whimper or squirm.
Or giggle, just like you're doing right now as he tickles your ankle with the feather, "Tickles?"
You nod with your teeth faintly biting your lower lip.
"Turn over for me, please?" He says to you.
You obey and lay on your back, propping both elbows against the mattress to see that Chan has picked up a rose now.
Chan starts at the neck this time, softly touching you with the rose. He notices you lowly humming as he glides it down your chest and the petals are making a trail down your front. Yet he keeps dragging down your inner thigh and you lowly moan.
"Tickles?"
"Uh-huh."
He brings it close to your clothed core, "Right here?"
You're looking him in the eyes as you reply, "Yes."
"Self control and restraint. Two essential parts of today's lesson!" The expert reminds everyone not to get overboard with their explorations.
Before he takes his turn, he takes a dollop of chocolate and smears it across your sternum. Slowly, he leans down to lick it off of you with his slick, hot tongue.
He can hear your stifled breath and your chest heaving as he sucks on the skin on your breast. He finishes with a kiss on your neck and a triumphant smile on his face.
-
CHRIS: Looking at her laying there and being so sensitive under my touch oh... [hisses] [exhales]
-
The nervousness gets to him when he lays down on the mattress and puts his hands under his head, surrendering his body because it's time for you to explore now.
You crawl over his body to get the whip from the basket and he guesses, you intentionally pressing on his crotch as you look down on him with the whip in your hand.
"I haven't started but your ears are already getting red," you tell him.
Chan tries to stay calm and closes his eyes for a while to finally come up with a response, "It's the sun."
You laugh at that and begin your exploration by touching his body with the leather whip, without warning, slapping it on his skin.
"How about that?" You lowly ask.
"Not bad," he coyly answers.
You get off his body and lay next to him while the whip is continuing its journey down his body, heading close to his clothed member and again, slapping him on his thigh without warning.
"Harder?" You ask.
But before he can answer, you're slapping on the other thigh, earning a low groan out of him. Without looking, he knows that his ears are getting even redder at this moment.
On his pale skin, you can see the marks you made from whipping him, and decides to switch it to feather. You're looking at him while you're teasing his neck with the feather, he can't lie that his ears are one of his sensitive parts. The hair on his arms stands up as you rub the feather on his ear shell.
"You're so cute," you breathlessly whisper, putting his weakness to your advantage.
He can only look at you and hope that he doesn't fall apart under your touch. You take the bowl of melted chocolate, then sit on his crotch, earning a moan out of him.
You flash him a grin that hints you're up to no good. He watches as you pour the chocolate onto his abs and pick a strawberry, dipping it on the chocolate on his abs before tugging it between your teeth and feeding it to him.
Doing it carefully to not accidentally break the rules, Chan takes a bite of the strawberry without his lips touching yours then you shove the rest of it into your mouth and chew on it.
He assumes that you have done as you sit back on the mattress, you hold his body down with your hand on his chest.
"Nuh-uh! I'm not finished yet," you tell him.
He wonders what else you're trying to do but that's the pleasure of not knowing. He sees you ducking your head onto his stomach to lick the chocolate on his abs.
Your tongue makes a long strip of lick up his abs and another long strip down on the next, you clean the rest in kitten licks, making the best of your time to torture him as his ears are about to explode at how red and hot they are, he lies when he said it's because of the sun.
Chan notices the smear of chocolate on your upper lip, "Come here!" He gestures for you to come close to his face.
You crawl and hover over his body, you stay still as he cleans it for you by licking it. It's not a rule break since it's only his tongue that makes contact with your lips.
"How'd it taste?"
"So, so sweet," he answers.
Sadly, the workshop is over. They know that if they let it on for too long, it's going to turn into one massive orgy.
"Self-control is very difficult but I hope that you can take something out of this workshop and practice it in the retreat," the expert concludes at the end of the workshop.
-
CHRIS: I learned that she's sensitive on her ankle, her neck, her chest, and I... can't wait to touch her all over again [Chuckles]
-
There's a lot of seats on the sofa but you choose to sit on his lap. Not that he minds about it, he just can't trust himself when you're this close, especially dressed in a skin-tight outfit that enhances every curve of your body.
You loop an arm around his neck and the other hand is holding a drink, your eyes are always locked in a gaze with him.
"Do you play any sports?"
"Soccer, bowling... uh, pool?" Chan lists the sports he's been playing recently.
You put your drink away so you can use both hands to feel his shoulder blades, "Which sport got you these broad shoulders?"
Chan takes a small sip of his drink before putting it away, "I believe that's from swimming," he answers.
He puts his hand on your thigh with his thumb mindlessly rubbing on the skin as he talks, "I took part in a few swimming competitions in high school."
"Ooh..." you coo in awe, "So, you're good at swimming."
Chan nonchalantly shrugs, then grins, showing his dimples at you.
"What is your best style?"
"Freestyle, butterfly," he casually answers.
"How about breaststroke?" You ask with a seductive smile.
"I'm the best," he answers even though it's kind of vague if you're still talking about swimming style or a different kind of stroke.
It's hard to keep the conversation casual with you, he can't blame you though. It's impossible not to think about sex when he's with you.
"I want to learn the breaststroke from you," you playfully say with a flirtatious gaze.
"How about a private swimming lesson?" He spontaneously comes up with an idea.
With his recent discovery that the back of your thigh is sensitive, he puts his hand there as he says, "I'm going to teach all kinds of strokes."
-
CHRIS: I just can't keep my head straight when I'm with her. There's just a lot of sexual tension, it's unbearable [sighs]
-
While everyone else is getting ready for bed, you change into a swimsuit and meet him at the swimming pool. You sit on the edge to take off the mic to not risk it getting wet and damage it, then jump into the pool afterward.
It is supposed to be a swimming lesson but Chan pushes you to the wall and cages you between his arms. You don't seem to mind it though but Chan is unaware of the danger he trapped himself in.
"I think there'll be lots of rule breaks tonight," you say.
Chan glides his hand down to your waist and holds you there, "Well, thanks to you!" He pokes fun at you.
You chuckle at that and put your arms around his shoulders, "What about you?"
You put your hand on his pec and hypnotizing eyes that look right into his soul, "Are you going to break rules?"
You lean in close and graze his nose with the tip of your nose, "Are you going to be good or bad tonight, mmh?"
Chan brushes his hair to the back before diving it back into the water and lifts your leg by the back of your thigh to hook it around him.
He brings his face close to your side and lowly whispers, "Is that what you want?"
You tip your head to the other side, enticing him with your exposed neck, "Mmh, yeah..."
The beads of water trickling down the column of your neck make him give in to the temptation and plant a kiss on the skin behind your ear, "You naughty girl!" he says with a laugh.
You put your hands on his chest, "And I know you're just as naughty," you say back while gently pushing him away.
Chan laughs and has you pinned against the wall again, looking at your face glows from the bluish lights of the swimming pool.
He reaches for your face and swipes his thumb across your lips, "I want to kiss you," he says with a hoarse voice.
You giggle and put your hands on each side of his waist, "We can't do that, Chris," you say with an insinuating tone that indicates you're not meant to remind him about the rules.
Your eyes are daring him to cross the line and so he does, he puts his hand under your chin, then leans in to kiss you. The way you eagerly return it, he allows himself to kiss you harder and deeper.
Chan lets out a delightful sigh once he pulls away from the kiss and laughs the moment his eyes meet yours, "That was hot," he comments, dropping his head into the crook of your neck.
He's going against his plan to not act selfishly but at that moment, he doesn't think about the money at all. His eyes are looking at your lips and how they're glistening wet, inviting him to kiss it again.
-
CHRIS: Oh my, Gosh! It's just so hard... it's hard [shakes his head]
-
Chan closes his eyes and tries to reorganize his thoughts, holding you tightly to help him get a grip. He hoists you against his body and you immediately wrap your legs around his waist.
"You're a good kisser," you compliment with both of your hands around his neck.
He tilts his head up to look at you, "You're a good kisser too."
You tangled your hand in the hair on the back of his head, "I kind of want to do it again."
Chan knows that you're not asking for his permission, he also knows that one kiss won't be enough for both of you. The kiss is explosive and thrilling, giving him a newfound kind of rush that he wants to experience all over again.
You kiss him first and Chan becomes the one who eagerly returns the kiss to you, opening his mouth so he can use his tongue in the mix.
"Mmh..." you moan as you put your lips on his, then slowly let go.
You smile as you put your forehead against him and seductively giggle, "You're so bad, you know that?"
It should be him saying that line to you. Whenever he's with you, he feels like has no sense of self-control anymore, all he wants to do is submit to your wishes.
He puts you down and turns around so he can rest his back, pulling you close to hold you from the back. He hopes that not seeing your lips will help him calm down.
It's when he composed himself he realizes the damage he has done to the prize money, "Okay, I feel the guilt now," he pathetically admits.
With his hands wrapped around your waist, you rub his forearm in the water and say, "We could have done more but we didn't, you know?"
"That's true," Chan agrees because yes, he could have done more than just kisses with you. If he were out there, he would have broken a bed or two with you.
Chan is fond of physical affection, both receiving and giving. It's imperative for him when it comes to connecting and bonding with the person he likes.
It's a bummer that he can't freely do that in the retreat but if he's going to break rules, he'll only do it with one person and that is you.
-
CHRIS: I want to be good but she brings out the bad in me so... [shrugs]
-
Chan had barely started his day when Lana gathered everyone in the bedroom.
He enters and sees you already sitting on the bed, he sits on the end to let you hug him from the back, waiting for the cone to light up and chime like she usually does.
"Mmh... so hot!" You gasp as you put your hand across his chest.
"How come you only found out now, mmh?" He jokes.
He knows you're talking about his skin and that's because he was at the beach to swim when Lana called. Also, he knows that it's time for judgment, everyone is going to know about the things he did.
Now that he knows he's about to get exposed, his heart skips a beat as the melodic chime comes from the cone.
"Oh! There she is!" Jane weakly gasps.
Lana hasn't spoken but Chan knows she's not pleased with the news she's about to deliver today.
"I have some disappointing news."
Chan silently swallows air and puts his hands together in front of him. He can see the guilts are coming back and haunting him.
"There has been a breach of the rules."
Everyone coo and all eyes are automatically looking for the guilty faces. Chan can see that he's not the only one breaking the rules, he just can't tell if it's going to make him feel better or worse.
-
CHRIS: I'm on the hot seat right now. Everyone is not going to be pleased.
-
Jace leans forward on the bed and rubs his chin, "I'll be honest with you all," he begins.
Jace and his playful smirk is an easy giveaway, Chan can tell that he broke the rules. Lola is also looking nervous as she keeps picking on her nails.
"I spent some money. I kissed Lola last night," he confesses.
Iain sighs and mutters under his breath, "Oh, man..."
"It was all me," Jace says as he glances at Lola, taking all the blame from her.
"I feel a connection so I guess it was worth it... yeah, I'm sorry, you guys," he concludes.
Pierre nods and seems to give him a pass, "Okay."
That seems easy to do and since everyone is on the same ship, Chan reckons that they'll respect his honesty and understand why he did what he did.
It's best to own up to his mistakes quickly than mulling over it so he confesses, "We kissed by the pool last night."
You hide behind his shoulder with your hand resting on the other shoulder.
"Just once?" Jane asks.
Chan looks at you and you take your turn to speak for both of you, "Twice."
"Oh... fuck..." Pierre lowly curses on the bed next to him.
"Is that it?" Iain asks.
He wants to be honest but it's hard when everyone is throwing daggers with their eyes at him. He forces himself to admit it, "I kissed her again. On the bed."
Chan felt guilty on the first kiss but after the second kiss, it got easier for him to rulebreak. As he was spooning you last night, your body was pressed against him and you smelled so good, it just felt right to give you a long, passionate goodnight kiss.
That, he admits is a hundred percent his fault.
"And that's it. No more kisses," you assure everyone before they can yell at him again.
"We're sorry," you end with an apology.
Chan feels grateful that you don't leave him alone, you firmly stand your ground and face it with him.
"That was a waste of money," Iain mutters loud enough for everyone to hear.
You take a sharp breath and ask, "Is that all Lana?"
"There was another breach of the rules," Lana informs, sounding so fed up already.
The drama continues as the next rulebreaker comes to light and that is Luke. It’s kind of expected, he's with Dani after all, and committed two rulebreaks. Pierre comes forward with one kiss with Alicia.
Chan is just so relieved that they take the attention away with them and he can breathe now with the glares no longer aimed in his direction.
"All of these rule breaks have made me reassess my retreat strategy," Lana states.
"Oh... she's mad," Lola says with a panicked smile.
"I have now decided to implement a stricter regime. The fines will now be doubled starting from these rule breaks," she informs.
Chan turns his head to look at you and sees you cringe at the shocking announcement.
"These multiple rule breaks have cost the group $42,000."
Lola gasps with her hand flies to cover her mouth, "We might as well pack up our bags right now," she says.
You both have just now realized the damages done to the prize money. You nuzzle your head into his neck, feeling bad from the guilt.
"The prize fund now stands at $155,000," Lana updates.
-
CHRIS: The bill turned up and we're like whoa! [Eyes widen] I guess yeah... we spent quite a lot.
-
Now it's the perfect time for him to swim at the beach.
Chan needs to cool his head down and let the seawater wash away his guilt of spending that much money on three kisses, he can do so much with $18,000.
He's swimming far off the shore and when he walks back to the villa, Jace is laughing at him.
"I thought you were swimming back to Australia, dude!" He says him while brushing his long blond hair to the back.
Chan doesn't see that Luke is there too until he arrives at the top of the stairs, "I thought about it, yeah," he playfully responds to him.
Chan then sits on the lounger next to him and dries his hair with a towel. He leans back on the lounger and turns his head at him, "I was right that you'll be the second to break the rules!"
Jace snickers, "Damn right, I am. It was worth it."
Luke rubs his oiled body and says, "Yo, I was the one in the hot seat."
Chan laughs at him, "And I thank you for taking everyone's attention away."
"You owe me!" Luke says.
Jace points at Chan with his head lolling to the side, "You know what? I think you'll need a loan soon," he jokes.
Chan shakes his head and that sounds plausible with how much money he spent in one night. As much as he doesn't want to admit it, he hisses in response, "Nah..."
Truthfully, that would be a lie. Chan has not yet found a way to try to stick with the plan but at the same time, he wants to always be close to you but it's dangerous once he gets close to you.
Chan needs to work on his self-control and for a start, he needs to put a safe space between you and him.
-
CHRIS: You know what? I'll not break any rules from now on... [uneasily glances side to side] Hopefully.
-
First thing in the morning, Chan gets handed a hard task when he steps into the bathroom.
"Baby, please, help me!" You sweetly say with a tube of sunblock in your hand.
Chan has no other option but to comply and think of it as a test of self-control. He takes the sunblock from you as you slightly bend down with your hands on the edge of the sink.
"Get in there! Don't be shy!" You playfully tell him as he hesitates to rub over some sunblock on your ass cheeks.
"Okay, okay," he replies, rubbing the cream on the ample flesh of your rear, and not going to lie, he likes what he's touching.
Chan notices that you're looking at him through the reflection in the mirror and he senses that you know what's been happening the last few days.
"You say you're a good cuddler..." you say.
He rubs the rest of the sunblock down your arms, "I am," he assures.
You look over your shoulder at him, "But you barely cuddled me last night," you say with a pout.
His heart flips seeing you adorably complaining about the lack of cuddles and he can't help but smile. He knows he shouldn't put a space all of a sudden and not tell you about it.
Chan pulls your body close against his body and looks at the reflection of him hugging you from the back, fuck, he likes what he's seeing.
He slides his hands down to your hips and pulls you closer, close enough to press on his crotch, "You always make me hard," he confesses.
He presses a long kiss on your neck then says, "That's why."
You're chuckling at his honest answer then turn around to face him, putting your hands on his magnificent abs.
"How about I return the favor?" You suddenly ask.
Chan's eyes widen in shock and he wonders if the favor you mentioned has got to do with the thing he said earlier.
You burst into laughter and take the tube of sunblock, "I mean, putting on sunblock," you make the context clear.
You gently pat his cheek and kiss it while still laughing, "What are you thinking, mmh?"
-
CHRIS: Told you, I just can't think straight when I'm with her.
-
With their eyebrows raised and not-so-subtle death glares thrown your way, it's obvious that they think the reason why Lana called everyone to the cabana is because you both broke the rules again.
"Nah. Nuh-uh. Not us!" You quickly deny everyone's allegations.
Chan can relax this time knowing that he didn't do any rulebreak and puts his arm around your shoulder. You offer your hand to intertwine it with his.
"Hello, everyone!" Lana greets not long after the cone chimes in.
Lola is nervously laughing in response and Jace follows suit, they make a strange couple out of the bunch which only makes them inexplicably cute.
"To help you achieve personal growth during your stay, I need to increase your chance of finding meaningful romantic relationships," Lana remarks.
You turn your head at Chan and raise an eyebrow, wondering if he has any clue as to what Lana is hinting at.
"Therefore, I have invited two new guests to the retreat."
The gasp you let out is loud and sharp, Chan gets a little alarmed at how enthusiastic you get from this announcement. Should he be worried though?
"My guests have selected one person each to take on a date," Lana further informs.
"Oh, my God!" Alicia shrieks.
It shouldn't worry him this much but Chan feels a little worried. It's not him, it's you, he worries that your head will turn.
"The ones chosen for the dates are..."
-
CHRIS: Lana, can you just send us on a date instead? [Laughs] I'll not be pleased if she gets chosen for the date.
-
Chan doesn't want to show it but he starts tapping his fingers on his knee, waiting for Lana to inform who got chosen to get on dates with the new guests.
"Alicia..." Lana announces the first name.
Pierre hisses at the mention of his partner and coyly smiles, looking calm about it.
"And Chris," Lana announces.
Chan only registered a minute later that Lana called his name and that he got picked for the date. He might have secretly prayed for your name to not get called and forgot to pray for his own.
"Alicia and Chris, you may now leave and get ready for your dates," Lana orders.
You thinly smile at him and kiss him on the cheek, "Have fun!"
He's not sure if you mean it or not, but Chan takes it that you have good intentions behind those words. He briefly hugs you before leaving.
-
CHRIS: I did not expect to get chosen but yeah, I think it's a good chance for me to show her that I'm into her.
-
It's when he's getting ready in the dressing room that Lana delivers additional information.
One, they haven't told the new guests that they are on Too Hot To Handle which will make them as horny and as eager as he is at the start of the retreat.
Two, Chan is free to decide at which point to tell them about it.
"It's better if we tell them right away then," Chan talks to Alicia as they're walking down to the beach.
"But then they won't try to kiss you," Alicia cheekily says which is the opposite of what they should do to resist temptations.
"Good luck!" Chan gives Alicia a quick hug as they go separate ways at the beach.
He keeps walking until he finds the place where they have prepared a picnic for the date and also where the new guest has been waiting for him.
The girl turns her head around and smiles when she sees him coming her way, "Hi, hi!"
Chan joins her by sitting on the pillow on the picnic mat, "Hi, I'm Chris," he introduces and offers his hand for a handshake.
"I'm Olivia," she introduces back but instead of shaking his hand, she puts her hand around his shoulder and pulls him for a hug.
It gets him nervous and it's not the first time he goes on a date like this. He grabs the glass of drink that has been prepared for him and initiates a toast with her.
"Is that an Australian accent that I hear?" She asks.
"Yes," He answers.
"Oh, I like that," she sweetly says with a bright smile.
This is the real temptation. Olivia has a voluptuous body, gorgeous strawberry-blond hair, and a nice smile. Chan was so wrong to think that her date would be ugly.
"I've never been to a date this nice, honestly," Olivia says.
Chan swallows his drink before answering, "Well, thank you for choosing me so I can enjoy this nice date with you," he says.
He doesn't mean to sound this flirty, it just sort of comes out of him naturally. It's just the way he talks to a girl.
"Well, you have a great body, sexy lips and dimples. I think it's a no-brainer," Olivia says with eyes that silently travel down his body.
This is what he doesn't get from you enough from you, affirmations and now that he got it from someone, he gets flustered, "Thank you," he mutters with a shy smile.
Olivia flips her hair to one side of her shoulder and gazes at him, "What do you think about me? Am I your type?"
Chan lets out a low laugh and holds his drink in one hand, "You're obviously good-looking," he begins.
Olivia is biting on her finger and locked in a gaze with him as he continues talking.
"I like your smile. It's uh... you have a very nice smile," he sincerely compliments.
"Thank you," she mutters her gratitude with a flirtatious smile.
-
CHRIS: Just because I'm already with someone that doesn't mean I can't get to know Olivia.
-
The plan is to break the news to Olivia as soon as possible.
However, Chan keeps finding himself stalling to do it. He gets immersed in the conversation with Olivia and maybe because he hasn't met new people in a while that makes him inexplicably excited to talk to someone new.
Chan finishes his drink to muster up the courage to drop the news but it's hard when Olivia is constantly giving him the eyes.
"It's a nice date, yeah?" Chan begins by softening the moment.
Olivia smiles and nods, "It would be nicer if we kissed," she shamelessly says.
Oh, Olivia is a trouble and Chan already has a handful of it, she's probably waiting for him to come back from this date as they speak.
"I don't think that's going to happen," Chan says.
"Why?" Olivia's smile falters a little and maybe, she's feeling a little dejected by how quickly Chan shot her down.
"This is not what you think it is," Chan carefully says.
One of her eyebrows shoots up higher than the other, "What do you mean?"
Chan takes a deep breath even though Olivia who should be the one doing it, "You're on Too Hot To Handle."
Olivia sits up straighter and clutches at her chest, "What?"
He feels bad to rain on her parade but he's merely there to be the bearer of bad news.
"That means no kissing, no heavy petting, no masturbating, no sex..."
Her eyes get wider and wider the more she hears about things she's not allowed to do in the retreat, "That means no fun? Ever?"
"Basically... yeah," Chan playfully responds.
Oh, is this how he looked when Lana dropped the news on him? The only thing he knows for sure is Olivia is as livid as he was back then.
-
CHRIS: What can I do? Lana is the one in control here.
-
The night gets dark in time to return to the villa.
Chan helps Olivia climb the stairs on her heeled sandals and proceeds to introduce her to everyone. He gets a little nervous when it comes to introducing Olivia to you.
"So, how was the date?" Lola asks.
Chan scratches the back of his head and answers, "We had a good time."
"Yeah, that was... the nicest date I ever had," Olivia adds.
He takes a seat next to you on the sofa and you're only looking at him without saying anything.
"Did you have fun?" You finally ask him.
Chan leans into your side and says, "Let's have a talk!"
Taking you by the hand, he pulls you aside to get some privacy. You choose to sit on the sofa across from him rather than next to him.
"Uh... Olivia is sweet and we had a great chat," Chan begins while rubbing down his arm.
"I used the chance to get to know her," he adds.
He sees you subtly rolling your eyes at him and sigh, pretending like you don't care but he knows. It's kind of cute that you're worrying him that Chan's heart is fluttering inside.
He reaches for your hands and intertwines his fingers with you, "But the whole time, during the date..."
He looks at you and smiles, "I just couldn't wait to get back."
A smile rises on your face and he can see that you soften around him. He uses his index fingers to draw endless circles on the inside of your palm.
"I miss you," he softly mutters.
You're shyly smiling at him and say it back, "I miss you too."
"Come here! Give me a hug!" He says while shaking your hand.
You get up from the sofa and walk up to him, he stops you before coming for his lap.
"Oh, looking so hot tonight," he comments on the way you dressed tonight in a black silk dress with a high slit on the side.
"Spin for me, baby," he requests.
You take your hand away so you can do it for him, spinning on your feet. You show off your dress and make a few poses for him, doing it so confidently that it's undeniably sexy to him.
"Mmh... yeah, the finest girl in the retreat!" He praises.
You're laughing looking at his exaggerated facial expression, then melt onto his lap, letting him hold you tightly. Chan kisses the top of your head and whispers, "You're my number one."
After all, the word 'loyal' is what he likes to be associated with.
-
CHRIS: I don't think there's anybody else that could walk in here and turn my head at all. She's the one.
-
With his open arms, Chan is ready to catch you as you jump onto the bed at him. He locks his arms around you, then peppers your shoulder and neck with little kisses.
"Good job, Chris!" Alicia beams from the next bed.
He sees that she's still sharing the bed with Pierre, and he says back to her, "Good job, Alicia!"
The date was certainly a test but it's not much about temptations, it made Chan realize how much he likes you and he doesn't want to be with anyone else in this retreat but with you.
As he looks at you while you're lying next to him, he wonders if you feel the same too. He softly brushes your hair to the side and gently kisses your cheek, "Goodnight, baby!"
The lights are out and you snuggle into him, hooking your leg around him with your foot rubbing his shin. You place a long kiss on his neck before lowly whispering to him, "I'm glad you're back."
Chan quietly smiles in the dark of the room, "With you," he continues the sentence for you.
"With you," you repeated his words instead of putting it into a whole sentence.
He turns his head and he can easily land a kiss on your forehead, "Me too."
It's getting suspicious that your hand that was resting on his chest is slowly going lower and lower. You're probably waiting until everyone else is fast asleep to do something.
You nuzzle your head further into his neck to kiss him there, your hand is inching closer to the waistband of his boxer.
"Mmh..." he warns you with a hard squeeze on your waist.
You bring your mouth close to his ear and playfully bite on his ear shell, ignoring his warning by slipping your hand into his boxer.
Chan can stop you by putting your hand away but he knows you want to make him feel good and he simply can't resist you.
"Oh, you're so bad," he says it so low it's almost like a whisper.
He closes his eyes the moment your hand meets his semi-hard cock, "You're so bad," he says again but does nothing to stop you.
"I know," you reply to him, wrapping your hand around his length and slowly stroking it.
Chan draws you closer to his side with his hand fisting the back of your camisole as he begins enjoying the stimulation you're giving him.
"Impressive," you seductively sigh into his ear after exploring every inch of his hardening cock.
One compliment is enough to make him extremely aroused. He feels your thumb circling the tip of his cock before pumping it up and down with your hand at a steady pace.
Chan holds it in as long as he could but after days passed without getting a release, his self-control hits the lowest peak and he cums only after a few minutes.
"That wasn't even my good hand," you whisper with a low giggle.
He turns to look at you and jokingly says, "What good hands, mmh? You don't have any."
Chan knows he's a few minutes late to pull your hand out of his boxer, he then playfully bites at your fingers, "They're all bad hands. Bad, naughty hands!"
As you lowly laugh at his reply, he presses a kiss on your open mouth and draws you closer to him, feeling your body molds into his again.
-
CHRIS: [Bites lip] I can only hope that we didn't get caught.
-
"Morning," Chan croaks with a soft kiss on your cheek.
You get up right away a moment after the lights are turned on, sitting with your back against the headboard then ties your hair into a messy bun.
Still gathering his senses, Chan decides to rest his head on your lap and put your hand in his hair so you can play with it.
You give his curls a ruffle and brush it with your fingers, "Is this your natural hair?"
What you're doing is comforting him so that he can only hum in response, "Mmh."
He turns his head to the side and sees you looking down at him, "Do you like it?"
You tenderly cup his cheek in your hand, "Mmh. I like it."
Chan takes your hand to kiss the inside of your hand and wrist, his heart skips a beat at the melodic chime that comes from the cone.
Thankfully, it's Lana with her usual morning greeting and wishing the new guests a good day on their first day in the retreat. Chan thought that the first day was the hardest, but now he learned that he lost a bit of his self-control on each day spent in this retreat. What happened last night is the proof of it.
"How was your sleep, Nick, Olivia?" Lola asks the new guests who shared the bed.
"To be honest, I'm hoping it was all just a dream," Nick answers.
Everyone painfully laughs at the satire. Chan honestly still wishes that it was only just a dream but instead of that, he got used to the cameras recording everything he does in the retreat.
"Is there anyone you like here?" Luke asks either Olivia or Nick.
Chan doesn't need to worry about Olivia anymore. Guess, she has seen that he's with you which automatically makes her stop pursuing him. It's the other guest that he worries about, he notices that he's been secretly stealing glances at you.
"Mmh..." you moan as you hug him tight before getting up from the bed to start the day.
-
CHRIS: She worried for me last night but that's not quite convinced me if she feels the same way. I'm a little worried that her head will turn.
-
His fear turns real when Chan gets back to the villa from swimming and finds you chatting with the new guy in the bathroom.
Chan lingers at the doorway to catch glimpses of the conversation, catching him compliments you and you're laughing at him.
"I think there's something between us," Nick says.
"You think?"
Nick laughs and says, "I just can tell."
You're only softly laughing and not denying it. Chan decides that it's time to enter the scene so he walks into the bathroom not saying anything but gets himself a towel from the rack.
Chan turns around and looks at you, slightly nodding at Nick. The uncomfortable forcing Nick to leave the bathroom which is the only right decision there is.
You're slyly smiling at him as you lean against the sink, "Hey..."
Chan doesn't answer but keeps drying his body with the towel. He wants to see what you're going to do with this suffocating silence.
You come up to him and slip your hands under his arm, hugging him, looking up at him with your puppy eyes. You try to get his attention by kissing his neck and placing a wet kiss on his collarbone.
"Mmh... salty," you say with a giggle.
Without warning, he hoists you up and carries you on his shoulder. He slaps on the back of your thigh while looking at you through the reflection in the mirror.
"Bad girl!" He slaps you again on the other thigh, sending you squealing and laughing with your head hung upside down behind him, "You bad, bad girl!"
He slaps your ass cheek this time and asks you again, "Funny, huh?"
Yet you keep laughing, only grabbing at his arm for support. Chan turns his head to bite on the flesh of your ass cheek, "Is it still funny?" He asks again.
"Uh-huh!" You cheekily answer.
-
CHRIS: She's really bad... I need to tame her. Wish me luck though [Grins]
-
Lana throws a welcome party for the new guests and everyone is wearing red for the theme.
Chan wears a sleeveless top with his dark slacks while you're dressed in a red dress with a low neckline that barely covers your breasts.
However, the party can't stop the imminent threat of Lana telling everyone about the things you both did last night. Chan can only mentally prepare himself for it and gulps his drink in silence.
"So, what do DJs actually do?" You suddenly ask him, sitting on his lap like always.
Chan remembers he once mentioned his job as a music producer but you only focused on his side job as a DJ, "Huh?" He asks in confusion since you asked out of the blue.
You put your drink away and put your hand on his shoulder, "You guys made the mix beforehand, right? So when you're on the stage, you know DJing, you just need to play that mix," you concisely put what a DJ does as if it sounded that simple.
Chan can tell you everything there is about DJing that is more complex than what you've just said but he can only laugh at it and it helps him to take his mind off things, "Yeah, kind of."
You squeeze his shoulder and say, "If that's the case then I want to be a DJ too."
He rubs his hand down your spine and rests it on the arch of your back, "You can be whatever you want."
"Mmh," you hum as you sip your drink, "We can make a duo, you and me, DJing together."
Chan is having a good laugh about it when the music abruptly stops playing then the familiar chime comes in through the speakers.
"Please could everyone gather in the cabana immediately!"
-
CHRIS: Oh, fuck, I'm shitting it.
-
You're looking so calm sitting next to him, unaware of what's going to happen once the cone starts talking. Chan tries to put on a cool face as well, leaning back on his seat with his hand resting on your thigh.
"I've gathered you all to remind you that this retreat is for finding deeper connections, not just physical ones," Lana speaks.
The long pause between the lines is making Chan even more nervous, his hand is getting sweaty yet you hold it tightly on your lap.
"This information is not getting through to some guests. There has been a breach of the rules," Lana announces.
Alicia smacks her lips together and asks, "Who was it?"
The hunt for guilty faces is on and of course, everyone is looking at them. Chan is planning to admit it real quick, ripping the band-aid all at once but someone gets ahead of him.
"A while ago..." Iain says, "Literally a few minutes ago, I kissed Olivia."
Lola slaps her forehead and sighs, "Oh, my God!"
Olivia only shrugs in response, not showing any remorse or guilt on her part.
"The kiss has cost the group $6,000," Lana informs.
"Nice!" Lola adds a snide comment.
Everyone is pissed because Olivia spent some money when she has only been here for less than two days. Chan gets the picture of how things would be when he comes forward.
"Oh, I need another drink," Luke says.
"That is not all!" Lana makes everyone hold their breath once more.
-
CHRIS: Okay, here we go... [sighs]
-
"Last night, there was another breach of the rules."
There's no way out of it, everyone is going to know whether he decides to tell or not. Chan takes a deep breath and another one and...
"It was me," you confess.
"Oh, shit..." Pierre drags the curse word and leers at Chan.
Lola looks at you and asks, "What did you do this time, babe?"
You glance at Chan before looking back at everyone, "There was a kiss and..."
You lick your lips and hold on to his hand on your thigh, "I gave him a handy."
"Oh, for fuck's sake!" Jace exclaims, then bursts into laughter.
"We may as well go home. We have no money left!" Jane says with a dramatic sigh.
"I wanted to show Chris what he's been missing for going on that date, so... I'm sorry," you conclude with an apology.
It's not a good time to get lovey-dovey but he is swooning. You're fearlessly owning up to your mistakes and openly explaining the reason why you did it.
You may bring out the bad in him but he can see that there's a genuine connection there. He doesn't want to sit there and watch as everyone is attacking you.
"We're sorry, okay?" Chan apologizes once again on behalf of you.
Thankfully, Lana takes over the situation.
"What you did goes against the purpose of the retreat. Therefore a further $14,000 has been deducted from the prize fund," Lana comes up with the calculated damage.
Lola is groaning and squirming like someone has set her body on fire, "Oh, God!"
"The prize fund now stands at $135,000."
Chan grips your hand hearing how much money have lost from the initial amount and have a hard time reeling from it.
As if that wasn't enough of torture, Lana calls your name and his.
"You have broken most rules since arriving at the retreat. You must now prove that your connection is more than just purely physical."
You're looking at him and he sees panic in your eyes, kind of figuring out what Lana is going with it.
"You will face the ultimate test of chastity by spending the night alone in the private suite."
Chan gulps air and feels hot all of a sudden. Without looking, he can feel everyone's eyes are drilling holes in his head.
-
CHRIS: I want to prove to everyone that we do have a genuine connection but at the same time, we're going to the private suite... [whistles] it's going to be hard.
-
Everyone is emitting negative energy and that only makes Chan can't stand another second being in the same room with them.
"Please make your way to the suite!" Lana commands.
Chan shoots up from the sofa and offers his hand to help you get up, "Come on, babe!"
He just can't wait to get away from everyone and not be around them. He leads the way to the private suite that is located in a different part of the villa.
Chan slowly pushes the door to the suite and the smell of scented candles welcomes him. He holds the door open for you and you gasp at the sight of the big bed with a  silk sheet on it.
"Oh, they want us to fail, babe," you say as you slowly lay yourself down on the bed.
Chan stands at the end of the bed and looks at you, lying with rose petals scattered around you.
"So beautiful," he murmurs.
He puts his knee against the mattress to hover above you, taking his time to admire your beautiful face with admiration in his eyes, "Stop looking so beautiful!" He says in a frustrated tone.
You smile at him and draw his body closer, sending him toppled on top of you.
"So, tell me..." you lowly speak with your hand going under his top.
"Tell you what?" He says as he plants a soft kiss on your neck.
"What are we doing tonight, Chris?" You ask.
You rarely call him by his name but when you do, it does things to him. He has so many things he wants to do to you but sadly, they are all against the rules.
-
CHRIS: Lana wasn't kidding when she said it's the ultimate test... [shakes head] [sighs]
-
The bath is ready and Chan is leaning against the sink, watching you taking every piece of clothing off you.
You look confident in your body and that's just a whole different level of sexy to him. You're smiling, noticing that he's been ogling at your body, up and down, for so many times he lost count of it.
"Why are you just standing there?" You ask while twisting your hair and securing it with a hair claw.
He shakes his head with his cheeks blushed from how horny he is, "You're so gorgeous," he praises.
You come up to him and kiss him on the cheek, close enough to the corner of his mouth, "Don't make me wait."
You get in the tub first and slowly lower yourself into the warm, scented water to not slosh it out of the tub.
You fill two champagne flutes with the bubbly wine while Chan is removing his clothes in under a minute. You look at him as he stands there in all his glory. He notices the glance you made at his semi-hard cock.
"You like what you see?" He asks.
You pull your feet up so he can take the spot on the other end of the tub and then you can rest your feet on his legs.
"Oh, I want to get a taste now," you tell him with a flirty wink.
Chan bursts into laughter to mask how nervous he is inside. He's snaking his hand under your thigh to hold you there.
"You're hard right now," you remark out of nowhere.
It's obvious, he can even see right through the milky water that his cock is fully erected and you're not asking, you know it's true.
"What should we do about it?" He asks.
You sip your wine and lick your lips, "That depends on how much money we want to spend tonight," you tell him.
Oh fuck, it's going to be one hell of a night!
-
CHRIS: [Sighs] Uh... I think I need a loan statement.
-
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harunayuuka2060 · 4 months
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Akihiko: What do you think?
*Reference photo*
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Leona and Yuurin: ...
The other clients in the salon: *blushing after seeing him*
Akihiko: Hm?
Leona and Yuurin: ...
Leona: We need to get out of here first. You're attracting too much attention.
Akihiko: *tilts his head in confusion*
Leona: You know you're handsome, don't pretend otherwise.
Akihiko: Thank you, Leona~.
Leona: Tch.
Yuurin: ...
Akihiko: Bluebell?
Yuurin: ...
Yuurin: Please excuse me for a bit. *exits the salon*
Leona and Akihiko: ...
Leona: She's not really the type to show emotions in public, huh?
Akihiko: *chuckles* Yes. Just like you, Leona.
Leona: *frowns*
Leona and Akihiko: ...
Yuurin: ...
Leona: Hey, I need to go check something. You two can go ahead to the restaurant.
Yuurin: But Leona-senpai-
Leona: I won't be long. *walks away*
Yuurin: ...
Akihiko: Bluebell?
Yuurin: ...
Yuurin: Yes?
Akihiko: *smiles* You've been quiet.
Yuurin: ...
Yuurin: I'm happy for you, Aki, yet I also feel guilty.
Yuurin: I realized how I took everything from you.
Akihiko: ...
Akihiko: Bluebell... You do not know what you're saying. *goes to hug her*
Akihiko: You're everything to me.
Yuurin: ...
Akihiko: *chuckles*
Yuurin: *trying to hold back her tears*
Akihiko: Oh bluebell, you're making me cry too.
Yuurin: *her voice shaky* I have it under control.
Akihiko: *chuckles* You sure do.
Leona: *is giving Akihiko a piggyback ride* Seriously, I told you not to push yourself too much.
Akihiko: Who would have thought those roller coasters would make me dizzy...
Akihiko: It doesn't matter. I had fun.
Leona: Hmph.
Akihiko: Bluebell?
Yuurin: Yes?
Akihiko: *smiles*
Akihiko: Ακόμα κι αν σε αφήσω κάποια μέρα, παρακαλώ θυμήσου ότι ο αδελφός σου θα συνεχίσει να σε αγαπά ακόμα και στη μετέπειτα ζωή.
Yuurin: ...
Yuurin: *nods*
Leona: Hey, what did you say to her?
Akihiko: *chuckles* It's a secret.
Leona: *frowns* Watch me use my native language too and I'll do that in your face.
Akihiko: *laughs*
Yuurin: ...
Ruggie: Where's Yuurin?
Leona: She's in her room, praying to the gods.
Ruggie: Huh? What for?
Leona: *who actually understood what Akihiko said*
Leona: It's not for me to disclose. But no one should disturb her.
Yuurin: ...
Yuurin: *holding a butterfly gently in her hands*
Yuurin: ...
Yuurin: *smiles*
Yuurin: Ακόμα κι όταν φύγεις, θα συνεχίσω να σε αγαπώ. Παρακαλώ, να είσαι πάντα ευτυχισμένος.
The butterfly: *flutters its wings and disappears*
Akihiko: *holding that same butterfly*
Akihiko: *smiles* Thank you, bluebell.
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missshirophantom · 1 month
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Yandere Alphabet Sebastian Solace
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From the author: hello everyone. I apologize for the abrupt disappearance after the first posts. There was a lot of shit going on in real life. And now especially, especially when I almost had a panic attack. This post... a small attempt to somehow cope with all the emotional problems. Ahem, I apologize for the mistakes, because English is not my native language and I used a translator. Yes, and I just got over it now... Tears, that's it. If I feel better (and a positive reaction will be enough), then I will write a small sketch using this post.
Warning: dr#g use without consent, threat of broken bones, threat of bondage, slight isolation, hint of c#nnib#lism. If you are for the fact that yandere Sebastian is gentle or dark, then you are absolutely not here. The author does not approve of the above written in real life.
Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?
— Due to so many years of literal torture and DNA implantation, Sebastian has forgotten how to show love and affection. At least, that's what many people imagine.
— Thanks to vague memories of his past, he often gives "gifts". These are usually very rare deceased marine life that he found while exploring the complex. Most often, he drags soft objects such as pillows and blankets to another person.
— It is worth considering that he will often be... Biting his beloved is not strong, of course, but deep enough and in prominent places so that the bite mark remains as long as possible.
— In rare moments, Sebastian can clamp his beloved with his tail and hands, preventing them from moving. Such moments last quite a long time — from several hours to even days. But don't be afraid, he will feed you.
— About feeding... Sometimes Sebastian intentionally brings dead marine life and forces the beloved to eat them raw, saying that he did not find a normal meal for you, and that's all he found, and there is no necessary equipment to cook.
— And I. Don't even think about giving up this "meal", because he can get very angry at you the longer and more persistently you refuse.
Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?
— This case can be described as follows: rarely, but aptly.
— Sebastian hates people, especially getting dirty in their blood. But when the threat is directed either at him, or at the beloved, or at his refuge, then... Yes. It's better not to see it. In particular, you don't need to know where that poor guy's body goes next.
Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?
— Despite his hatred of people, which he skillfully hides by contacting them in his store, especially if you are a person yourself, but in moments of his bad mood, Sebastian can mock you. Especially when you are trying to escape or are somehow stubborn, protesting against his actions and the like.
Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?
— It all depends on how his beloved behaves. If they try to escape more than once, he will give them a "medicine" in order to keep them in a sluggish and weakened state in the shelter.
— Well, he also locks them in a shelter while he goes out to get supplies. For good behavior, they may not even tie you up and tie you to the railing of the stairs.
Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?
— It's not much... It is difficult, especially when Sebastian vaguely remembers his life before his arrest and experiments.
— But if he is in a good mood, he can talk about his past. Especially about his cat, whom he misses.
Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?
— Definitely an annoyance. And the stronger and longer the beloved resists, the stronger his irritation, turning into anger.
Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?
— Sebastian does not consider this a game, even though he finds it funny to watch the escape attempts of the beloved and their plans for this. But still, he is serious that even for the sake of his "fun" he does not allow another to escape.
— So, yes. the DNA of the same white shark, which awakens in him the instincts of pleasure over the attempts of another to escape.
Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?
— Oh, definitely quite strong and a decent dose of "medicine" if the beloved misbehaves for too long. Sebastian rarely uses physical punishments. Except when he is very, very driven. Then he will definitely break a couple of bones in his legs.
Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?
— Sebastian just doesn't know. The arrest and experiments forced him to think about the present, not the future. Especially when there is a looming danger over him because of his mutations. And not only that.
— But somewhere in the tender moments with his beloved, he definitely thought about having a family with them. And also a safe place where they both don't need anything and no one bothers them.
Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?
— As long as the other person does not speak directly and flirt, or God forbid, does not try to touch the other, then Sebastian is ready to be patient. And if any of this happens, he immediately throws this person out of his store and forbids him to come back. Believe me, this is the mildest thing he can do in bouts of jealousy.
Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?
— Believe it or not, but it's pretty good, let it depend on the mood. Sebastian definitely likes to hold his beloved with his tail and sleep in this position, curled up in the "nest". Bite them, thereby marking them. As it was written above, he gives, albeit sometimes gloomy gifts: dead marine life, someone's bones. But it's definitely nice to get the same pillows and blankets from him. On particularly "lucky" days, he may even bring some simple puzzles, blank paper, and writing supplies. Or even the clean clothes of the employees! And also, as it was written, he definitely likes to watch the beloved eat the food he brought.
— However, do not try to annoy him in any way or, God forbid, make him angry. And even if nothing serious happens for the first time, it's better not to push your luck.
Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?
— He will definitely compose a little poetry and read it to you. But mostly his love language, if you can call it that, is gifts, not particularly frequent physical contact, as well as... preening when Sebastian's mood is definitely high. He likes to mess with the hair of his beloved, untangling tangles with his claws and cleaning them from dirt. But it's definitely somehow caused by injected DNA and getting some instincts. Well, Sebastian can also be a good gentleman.
Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?
— Yes. Quite a lot if you continue to test his patience.
Naughty: How would they punish their darling?
— It varies depending on how much his patience is exhausted. If he speaks from the most harmless to severe punishment, then it goes something like this: stronger and deeper bites that leave a scar; short-term deprivation of food; small doses of "medicine"; medium doses; a large dose; broken bones, usually legs.
Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?
— Freedom, defined. Sebastian will definitely lock the beloved in the shelter while he goes on business. But even without that, he still has no intention of letting them out of his sight, especially when they are not the first to try to escape or behave badly.
— It will also definitely monitor your meals with extreme care and sleep patterns.
Patience: How patient are they with their darling?
— Surprisingly, he is quite patient. But even such patience has its limits.
Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?
— Sebastian will refuse to believe that their beloved has died. By that time, he will have time to get very attached and it will be a blow to him. So be prepared for the fact that he will simply lose the remnants of his humanity and will babysit your body by locking himself in a shelter.
— Well, if it's an escape... It won't be difficult for him to find you. He knows this place like his own... "Five" fingers. Plus, his senses are highly developed, as are his newfound instincts.
Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?
— Definitely not for both questions. And even if Sebastian hated people and if you are a person yourself, he will not let you go.
Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?
— After the accusation that he did not commit, years of experimentation on him, torture, as well as the loss of some memories, you evoke in him... Something really different and new, amidst all this hatred and irritation. This feeling made him relax a little, feel the warmth in his chest and just made his barely controlled instincts calm down.
— You can say that he is really curious. Plus... Years of loneliness in this cruel situation are making themselves felt.
Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?
— Definitely a confusion. Why do you want to come back at all? There, on the surface, you will find a much more cruel world than here, next to it. Yes, the conditions here are not so good, but it is much better than sitting behind bars in a dirty cell or, God forbid, being a test subject of these disgusting people.
— Despite the confusion, Sebastian understands these feelings. But he definitely didn't want to watch the situation worsen. He will definitely give you "medicines" to let you forget, but he will not work hard with it. After all, Sebastian does not want to be like the people who conducted experiments on him.
Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?
— Not really.
Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?
— It's definitely that Sebastian has become a monster, without a shred of humanity. Despite everything, he still misses the time when he was human, and these words will infuriate him. Plus, the same flashlight or flash in sensitive eyes. This disorients him for a few seconds.
Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?
— Mentally? Not much. Physically? Quite a lot, and it depends on how much you've exhausted his patience.
Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?
— It depends on a lot of things. From the time you are with him, situations have occurred, especially those related to your life. The longer you stay with him and the more situations there are related to your life, the more he will begin to take care of you. But as for the conquest, this is another story and much longer, because Sebastian lost that normal part of himself, acting on the basis of instincts and vague memories.
Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?
— It depends on the situation.
Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?
— Oh, Sebastian, which is a little surprising, will try to prevent this. He doesn't want a man like you to become even a little bit like him.
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roxineedstosleep · 7 months
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Could you do a snippet for yandere platonic Batfam where reader accidentally gets hurt and is able to hide it for a few days until someone (May be Dick?) finds it and asks / gets upset about it? Love your writing!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️
Hi there!!!
First of all: Thank you sweetie!
It's been a while since I've written, mostly because of the university, I'm about to graduate and I'm crazy because I'm approaching my final exams (I even have to defend my research work to be able to get my bachelor's degree)!
But, I got to thinking a bit about what you have written above… and even more so because I myself am a little bit crashed after my last film shoot for my final year of my degree. And can I just say that being in a bad way and having to hide it is terrible.
So… here goes!
(I'm sorry if I sound a bit comical in this writing, but I think the best way to get over something is to laugh at yourself a bit so you don't think about the pain too much; I hope you enjoy it anyway.)
Disclaimer: I don't know if you've noticed, but English is not my native/mother tongue. Occasionally, when I think too much, I write them in my language and then translate it in a trusted translator. So, if there's a grammatical problem or a strange term, it's the translator's fault.
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Let's face it… having a large family is terribly exhausting.
It's never quiet enough, everyone is in everyone else's business, you can't leave your favorite mermelade in the fridge for less than a day. Someone is always occupying the bathroom or using your favorite shampoo or watching something on TV at too much volume and someone is probably occupying your bed at nap time.
Did I mention about meddling too much in other people's business? Yes? Well… triple it.
Having multiple siblings was new.
Having multiple siblings, a father and a butler/grandfather isn't exactly bread and butter either.
It wouldn't be so bad to belong to a large and numerous one if it was your blood family and you had lived with them all your life. I mean, sometimes blood is too thick and you have no choice but to learn to love them or just be nice to each other.
Like I said, it wouldn't be so bad if they were really your family.
But the Waynes were not your family. Not distant relatives or anything like that.
You were just living your life, as quietly as possible… and poof!
New room, new butler/grandfather, pets beyond belief, 4 new male siblings and a father with serious emotional constipation issues. And, to add more salt to your wound…. all have serious abandonment issues and death-related trauma.
After several escape attempts, sleep strikes, hunger strikes and any other kind of protest that an anarchist could be proud of… you realized that it was simply impossible to get out of this without risking the path of death.
Which, to top it all off, was also unreliable because apparently your older brother Jason had revived as well as another of your siblings. So no, dying was also not a viable option to which one could resort in the worst case scenario.
What to do?
Well, not much. Trying not to die of suffocation of affection or finding a way to have privacy while going to the bathroom just seemed to be the best survival tools you could resort to.
What does that entail?
It implies that Tim was going to give you hours and hours of lectures on his latest discovery of a case, even if you don't understand half the things he's told you or mentioned at all.
Richard and Damian trying to teach you new tricks almost every second, taking you to the Zoo or not leaving you alone to go to the bathroom.
That Jason, oh holy cow he is the only one more relaxed, takes you with him on his motorcycle to eat ice cream and to the public library. Without being able to scape, because it seems that you have a kind of GPS inserted in the bone marrow.
(Sometimes you don't know if it's true or not, but sometimes you also felt pain between your bones, almost during the cold seasons, and you didn't want to burst your poor little head thinking of different viable possibilities knowing them. No scars, no remembering anythins about any surgery).
Have a grandfather who will not hesitate to make you cookies, your favorite foods whenever you want … without leaving you aside at any time.
Plus a terribly quiet father, who if he can will carry you for as long as you spend time together, won't let you near the secret basement and enjoys being in the same room with you.
Do you see any privacy in this?
No, because even at the bathroom door would be the pets trying to get in and see you for themselves while you want to do your business.
The worst of that? Titus always judge you when you close the curtains.
As I mentioned and it was clear: Having a large family implies little privacy… Having a large, obsessive family means NO privacy.
So, knowing that you have over 50 nanochips tracking in all your clothes, two security monitors embedded - God knows how - in your body (monitors that only tell you if you are in designated safe place), 20 high definition surveillance cameras in every room and a Great Dane chasing you like a chick …. How the heck do you fall down the stairs and hit your pelvic bone without anyone noticing?
No kidding, how?
And if you had to blame someone for your fall… you'd totally blame Damian for it.
It's not that the kid pushed you down the stairs, but over time he had tamed himself into various things and relaxed into looking his age. You know!!! He started acting like a normal teenager!
What do Damian's kids do at his age? Well, they leave things lying around and have messing around them when they can, of course they do!
You just wanted some yogurt with orange marmalade. Maybe some oatmeal cookies. Alfred had left it for you in the fridge when he noticed you'd been watching video tutorials on homemade marmalade for hours. Who were you to deny such a gesture of generosity?
I mean, Alfred was the one who allowed you to hide in the attic for hours on end so you could have some time to yourself.
And how did it end? You, slipping down the main stairs of the old Wayne mansion, down a nicely polished wooden staircase, rolling all the way down (which is no small flight of stairs, it should be noted) to the bottom of the first floor.
Now, lying on the ground is not so bad in itself. What is bad is not being able to feel your legs and still not being able to understand how you manage to tidy up your neural wiring so that your legs can still move on their own and go to the kitchen to rescue all the delicacies Alfred left you in time.
And it's a good thing you managed to do it… because within seconds Bart had rushed in to ransack the fridge and the fruit basket.
But that's not the point.
The important thing is that this time you managed, I insist a little on the feat of action, to climb up to your room and not notice how you couldn't really feel your legs.
You ate, you lay down… and to your bad or good luck, you couldn't get up …. and without anyone noticing there was an emergency and everyone went out to sort it out.
Weak limbs, limited movement and you don't want to mention the embarrassing actions you did in order to go to the toilet.
It's not like you hid it either, I mean, there was no one who could even notice because they weren't entirely available to watch you. Nor is it that you would have run away, otherwise they would have been at your side in less than a second.
The detail, as they insist, is that you had probably bruised your back badly and your body was now taxing you extra for your food craving.
I insist, you did not hide anything.
But still, when you're found completely itchy on the floor, ridiculously trying to run away in the direction of the bathroom… that's when everyone really goes crazy.
First, having to carry you and not dying of embarrassment when you notice that Bruce definitely doesn't give a damn about having to carry you to the bathroom and do almost everything for you.
Or having Dick and Jason carry you and fit you into some kind of weird medical scanner they have in the cave.
Or that Tim keeps track of your periods, types of meds you take and, for fuck's sake, knows how the fuck to inject something into your spine.
Or that Damian had the gall to look a little embarrassed when he heard that a pair of boxers lying outside the laundry basket was to blame for all this.
NO matter.
At the end of the day they heal you, pamper you, leave you alone when you need to take a nap and figure out a way to fix it without looking like complete maniacs who built some kind of internal plumbing that sucks up the dirty laundry and throws it straight into the washing machine.
Like the time they didn't look like maniacs by sanding all the edges of the tables and nightstands.
Or the time they bought a whole brand of sanitary towels when they realised that not all women use tampons.
Don't worry, they're looking out for you… even if they look like deranged Arkhan freaks in the process.
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haru-dipthong · 6 months
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The difference between あのー and えーっと
As I touched on in my japanese goncharov post, it’s amazing how much novel research, entertainment, and art are locked behind a language barrier. Even though as english speakers, we are privileged to have many things translated into our language, it’s a simple fact that most things will not be translated into most languages.
I am a huge fan of ゆる言語学ラジオ, a japanese podcast about linguistics. The hosts recently released a book, 言語沼, which goes into detail about some of the subconscious rules native japanese speakers follow but aren’t consciously aware of (an english equivalent might be that adjective-ordering rule we follow e.g. big brown cow, not brown big cow). I’m finding it fascinating, and I wanted to discuss some of it here in english, because I think people learning japanese would find some of these things really useful. It’d be a shame if this knowledge stayed stuck behind the japanese language barrier when the people who would find it the most useful can’t speak japanese fluently enough to read it!
The book talks about how most Japanese people will think of 「あのー」 and 「えーっと」 as having the exact same meaning - they’re both “meaningless” filler words. Despite their belief that they’re the same, those same native speakers will subconsciously only use あのー in one particular type of situation and 「えーっと」 in another, and even feel confused or annoyed if they hear another speaker use one in the wrong context.
So what’s the actual difference? 「えーっと」 is used when the speaker is taking time to remember or solve something. For example, the following exchange is very natural:
Person A: 7 x 5は? Person B: えーっと、35だ
This makes it a pretty versatile filler word! You can use it pretty much anywhere. Another example would be when you’re talking to yourself, trying to remember where you left your keys.
えーっと、鍵どこ置いたっけ?
On the other hand, あのー is much more specific. It can only be used when you’re taking time to figure out the best way to phrase something. For example, when you’re trying to get a stranger’s attention.
あのー、ちょっといいですか?
In contrast, if Person A was addressed with 「えーっと、ちょっといいですか?」by Person B, they’d feel it was rude because instead of considering how to say something, B is considering what to say, which gives the impression that they hadn’t even figured out what they needed to ask before addressing Person A.
This gives 「あのー」 a more ”polite” feeling than 「えーっと」, even though neither is actually more polite than the other. They’re just used in different circumstances.
Let’s quickly look at the example with the lost keys again. If you replace the filler word:
あのー、鍵どこ置いたっけ?
It is very unnatural. The authors of the book jokingly say that it sounds like you’re talking to a ghost, because 「あのー」 is only used when you’re figuring out how to phrase something, and you wouldn’t worry about that if you’re talking to yourself.
Also, did you know even japanese children properly use each filler word in the correct situation? Despite almost all japanese people (even as adults) being unaware of this rule, they’re subconsciously abiding by it even as children - just from listening to their parents follow the same rules!
It really is amazing how good your subconscious mind is at acquiring language, and how terrible your conscious mind is at it. If you’re not already, I highly recommend integrating a lot of simple language content (e.g. youtube, kids shows, etc) into your study routine - listening to people talk is simply the fastest way to become fluent in your target language.
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