#as i said it just ruins everything for me. why so negative brain

[skitskatdacat63]

I wish I didn't feel horrific levels of insecurity/inferiority/jealousy/fomo/ego/etc etc about literally everything 24/7. I don't think I let it affect how I interact with people, but it's just this sickeningly insufferable feeling in my chest

[victim9d]

hm.

[arielleslipgloss]

i feel like i am less important than other ppl. oe that i dont matter , inferior something like that :(

Hii doll!! Tysm for asking me this 💗

Let’s Talk Self Worth!!

”I just take a book with me everywhere. It’s a habit.” - Rory Gilmore

Why do you feel this way? Well, the root cause is most likely your surroundings. Those around you, social media, and maybe yourself? Maybe others make you feel unimportant? Maybe social media is telling you others are more important? Or maybe your just always judging yourself? If not, take a moment to think of when you started to feel this way. Then, why you started to feel this way. You can journal this in a notebook or your notes app. Now, describe the wave of emotions you get when feeling this way. Let it all out, it’s ok. Lastly, think of how you can heal from this!

2. Mentality!! Let’s say you get bullied, harsh things are said to you I would believe. The people bullying or saying mean things to you, say you’re “unimportant.” Then those words go to your mind and you start to believe them. Next thing you know more negative words are said. So, your brain continues to believe them as if their affirmations. Your brain now doesn’t even have a say in what you think about yourself. Why? Well, because now you only live by your bullies words. What your bully thinks of you, is how you think of yourself. Now, do you really want to live your life like that? I would hope the answer is no. Ok, so you need to work on becoming secure in yourself. So secure in yourself that when someone says something about you. Guess what, YOU DON’T CARE. You need to start living by your words (and Jesus’s) instead. For example, you like your hair and someone else doesn’t? So what! You go rock that hair of yours cause you like it!!!

3. Stop Comparing Yourself!! Not everything you see and hear is real. Not everyone tells the truth. Plus, what’s the point in comparing yourself to someone your whole life? There is none. What there is, is your older self disappointed thinking back to you now. Not only your older self, your younger self too. They wouldn’t want to see you comparing yourself. I would hope, your present self doesn’t want to be comparing yourself too. In my opinion, comparing yourself is a waste of youth. You spend your whole day, week, month, year, life wasting youth. It’s pointless because it really doesn’t get you anywhere. It just continues to make you more insecure. Therefore, remove what you can that makes you compare yourself. A little example would be deleting social media! If you can remove it from your life, do it.

4. Stop Punishing Yourself!! In other words, stop being so hard on yourself. Just because you got a bad grade isn’t an excuse. Just because you did something “embarrassing” isn’t an excuse. In fact, there is no excuse for punishing yourself. Be nice to yourself instead. You deserve so so sooo much love from yourself. For that reason, give all of that love to yourself. Leave that mistake in the past. Learn to embrace your mistake too. It’s ok, you’ll be ok.

5. You’re Only Human!! If there is one thing I want you to remember from this blog. It’s that you are only human. You can’t be “perfect” and you can’t be happy all the time. Your feelings and struggles are important. We all deal with a bunch of things everyday. It’s in our nature to feel this way at times. Maybe you feel this way more than others, and thats ok. You are only human. Maybe you act different than others, and thats ok. You are only human. Maybe you hate your life, and thats ok. You’re only human. Maybe you can’t do things others can, and thats ok. You’re only human. Maybe you struggle with healing, and thats ok. You are only human. You are only human, imperfectly perfect. You can really only choose to love yourself and have fun. Oh, and remember that you’re only human.

Love you so much dolls!! Remember God loves you and stay pretty 💋🎀

“If you’re gonna let one stupid prick ruin your life, you’re not the girl I thought you were.” - Holland Taylor/Professor Stromwell (Legally Blonde)

Pinterest: @arielleslipgloss

[the-violet-galaxy]

~Sigh~

I tried to hold off on talking about a negative opinion, but today's episode was kinda a straw that broke the camel's back for me, and I gotta say something.

I hate that the Show is legitimately making New Moon inferior to Old Moon. This isn't even an opinion anymore, it's basically canon -- the way they've written it, Old Moon is genuinely better than New Moon in every single way, from brains to morality.

Old Moon is much smarter, more intelligent and cunning, his technological skills are SO much better than Nexus's. Moon looks at everything Nexus has ever built and LAUGHS at it and mocks him and calls him a bad builder -- there isn't a single thing he's impressed by, or even one kind of technology that New Moon is matched with him in skills at or slightly better at. (And the other characters tacitly agree, especially Sun.) He's also more cunning because in one swoop he snagged Ruin's signature to find his spaceship, and is schooling Ruin in terms of making a deal with him -- something New Moon was not capable of doing.

This is especially egregious because of the episode "A Talk With Past Moon." (This episode has noticeable bad retcons. In recent episodes, Old Moon says he received none of New Moon's memories or information. But during "A Talk With Past Moon" he knew EVERYTHING that had happened during New Moon's life, and referenced a lot of it. In recent episodes they go too hard with the gag of Old Moon not knowing anything that had happened in the past year, which is annoying because in A Talk With Past Moon he KNEW everything that had happened.) So during A Talk With Past Moon, Old Moon knew everything about New Moon's life, and thus knew about the things New Moon had built, his technological capabilities, and how smart New Moon was when dealing with enemies. And in that video, Old Moon says to New Moon: "Oh by the way! You've never been Inferior, you've been holding yourself back out of fear." Old Moon meant that when he said it. Therefor, this shows that Old Moon viewed New Moon is smart -- he considered him as smart as himself, or smarter in his own ways....

...But in recent episodes he's literally using the word "inferior", calling him stupid, a bad builder -- treating New Moon like a limp noodly punching bag.

New Moon isn't stupid. But the Show is now written so that it's canon he was stupid.

AND THEN, all the projects that New Moon was involved in, Old Moon sweeps in and is solving them instantly. New Moon isn't even allowed to keep the wins he DID achieve. OLD MOON is fixing Dazzle's broken body after one glance where New Moon couldn't do it in weeks. He's throwing everything New Moon built into the trash or calling it all badly designed.

They couldn't even let New Moon have an easy win/throw him a bone: When Old Moon looked at New Moon's garage lab, he sees the slot machines and starts mocks them; Sun suggests "maybe he converted them to look inconspicuous, so it'd be hidden...?" and Moon replies "No, I can tell they're just slot machines." Really......??? Why couldn't they have given New Moon this ONE win? Old Moon could have looked around and been like "Ah! All this stuff looks like it's just a normal garage, but there's a TON of hidden tech in here. Not bad, not bad." New Moon couldn't just have that?? It has to be another moment for Old Moon to go "incompetent, incompetent, an incompetent version of me......"

The straw was in today's episode where Moon talked to Nexus. Moon spends the whole time laughing at Nexus. There isn't a single moment where he feels attentive or like he's on alert from a threat. And later when Moon talks to Sun, he's dismissive of Nexus and says "ehhhh I think he's trying to match wits with me. Didn't turn out well for him." My guys, if Nexus IS GOING to be a villain (godIhatethisplot), then why can't Nexus, like... actually HAVE something?? Like why can't Old Moon sound just a little bit concerned with the idea that they have a new threat?? Cuz if no one is intimidated by him, why should we the audience worry about him? (Especially since the Show has made Old Moon the infinitely superior Moon. Since we're shown New Moon was SOOOOOO incompetent, then who is even worried? We know Old Moon is gonna spank Nexus like a toddler when they meet.)

What I'm getting at is I hate that New Moon is written to be stupid. Because he's not stupid. It's like they retconned his brains, his own skills, and his own accomplishments away. It isn't fair that they've written him to be stupid and dumb and laughable in the face of Old Moon's impeccable unbeatable genius.

New Moon shouldn't be put down so much just to prop Old Moon up.

(One idea that scares me is they might do something with this and New Moon's arc of "you DON'T have a legacy and don't need to live up to Old Moon!" and by the end Nexus will use this all as a learning experience where he'll be okay not being as smart as his past self. Now to be clear, New Moon DOESN'T need to compare himself to Old Moon, and he never needed to prove himself, this is true. However, when the arc is set up this way to where New Moon is written to be SO LAUGHABLY WORSE than Old Moon, and Old Moon is laughing in his face, then I have a problem with the idea New Moon could just have to lay down and say "yep that's correct, you're factully smarter than I ever could be! And I'm fine with that" after Old Moon insulted everything about him.)

This arc exhausts me, guys. I tried to find things to keep positive about with this arc but I can't. I'm not even a person who thinks Nexus was treated overly bad by his family (he made choices, he gets consequences, at the same time he was manipulated so if he put in the work he could come back), but the WRITING that paints him as canonically stupid almost feels like reading a hatefic at this point. I genuinely did not want Old Moon to come back, period. I love New Moon more than Old Moon and I don't want New Moon to be permanently lost in his Nexus identity. (I'll cut up a part 2 to explain why Old Moon coming back messed up New Moon's arc.)

[nephilimbrute]

ur agents in particular FASCINATE me so so much i love your interpretations of them. could u tell us more about them and their stories? particularly 8, theyre so interesting!!! why do they hate marina? what happened between them and 3? what’s their relationship like with 4? anything you wanna say abt them, i’d love the infodump

omgosh....😇

a few days ago i wrote a thing that like. detailed stuff about major events with 8. i'll paste them here

agent 8 during the entire course of Octo Expansion was extremely shaken up. they couldn't think straight at all, leaving them vulnerable. sanitized cap3 wasn't much different too, she still had some control over herself and she never wanted to fight 8, making the battle between them long and confusing. eventually 8 gave up and walked up to her, ripping the sanitized goop right off her head (which, to cap3, felt like shoving a screwdriver into her eye)

during the inner agent 3 fight, was unconscious, so this was more like a a made-up battle. this 3 (dubbed enigma3) was formed out of cap3's repressed traits of herself and how 8 sees her, rather than being the 3 that 8 saw fight octavio. she's quiet, cold, confusing, and only wants to play mind games with 8. she never really left 8's conscience, but only appears when agent 8 is deathly worried about cap3

after the events of Octo Expansion, 8 absolutely adored marina. they were still a little shy though, so when marina wanted to talk to them they would kind of freak out. marina didn't mind though, and they were able to get to know each other somewhat, with 8 adapting some of marina's traits and behaviors. 8 had nowhere else to go other than sleeping behind crusty sean's food truck and park benches, so pearl let them stay with him and marina for 2 months. after those two months, pearl got in touch with agent 4 via marie (making him fawn all over meeting off the hook) and asked 4 if he could let 8 stay over (since pearl felt like they were watching him in his sleep) and fortunately, 4 said yes

after 8's mind finally clears up they start to question what's wrong with them and feel the weight of overthinking, which sends them spiraling down for the years to come (presumably the effects of tartar messing with their brain). 8 relentlessly questions cap3, rarely leaving her alone, and in turn it affects their relationship with cap3 in a negative way. when asked why they're so curious, 8 goes silent and refuses to answer

(small bit about cap3) cap3 feels like she's at fault for how 8 turned out since they started breaking after OE. she tries to make it up for them but she thinks she's only ruining them. her expectations for herself are set higher and higher, yet nothing she does is good enough. she won't give herself a break, beating herself up over every little detail and being highly critical to the point where she's stuck in a loop of self-destruction and loathing

8 slowly loses their trust in things and those they love, becoming scared and paranoid. it wasn't until side order that this was more prevalent.

in side order (AU), 8 has lost most of their memories, and the moments with the other agents and idols still remain but just barely. 8 is afraid of marina and has a deep dislike for her, but this was due to them not thinking for themself, instead listening to their gut. their brain fog is back more than ever, and whenever they try to walk for prolonged amounts of time they end up stumbling to their knees.

they can no longer tell the difference between reality and fiction. it's all a blur to them. they can feel marina's eyes everywhere. they can barely remember if who or what meant something, anything, to them. though having a deep dislike for marina, they want to be held by her. to be loved like a child. they never ask her of anything, instead just letting it burn into their brain until it breaks them completely. they want attention but they fear they'll be seen as needy and annoying. they want to apologize for everything and be forgiven. 8 doesn't know who is who, they've been copied so much they're just deemed a blank slate to be imprinted on. they watch everything disappear from their hands, unable to do anything about it. from being excited about what's to come in the near future, to being scared about losing the present and wanting to go back to the past

and then here's another little bit about 8 in side order: represents a crumbling mental state, begging for reassurance, desperately trying to hold on to fleeting memories. their trust is lost in everything but they want it all to return to normal, struggling to accept the fact that it never will

then about marina: represents a mother figure somewhat, but even she still fails to live up to that role fully. she distances herself from 8 who is always going after her just to be comforted, yet she denies it for them. she has the same goals as 8, clinging on to the present and never embracing change, but doing so only harms her and others and this behavior continues on and on

+ marina doesn't want to interact with 8 because she sees her younger self in them, she refuses to go back to that era of her life and 8 keeps promising her they'll be what she wanted to be. anything for them to be accepted, to be held in loving arms again. the lack of communication between them makes their relationship even more strained. but clearly marina still cares about 8, they were the only one to be let out of her mind control. she wanted to check on them and make sure they're okay, but what she got in return was someone that hated her

^^ their relationship is basically like this. constantly wanting to communicate with the other but being pushed away, they never fill each other's voids

onto agent 4 and 8... they have a relatively healthy relationship. 4 is 8 (and cap3)'s shoulder to cry on, he always tries his best to help them with whatever. since him and 8 both like off the hook, they'd talk about them non stop. 8 likes to give 4 details about how oth are off-stage since 8 frequently hangs out with them and stuff

4 appears as parallel canon in side order, but instead of other copies of himself, the other robots resemble agent 8 and cap3. they all circle 8 and mock them for forgetting everything about themself and their significant others, much like inner agent 3

nd i don't think i got anything else to say about those 3......that's all^_^ i'm soooo normal i'm normal

[whumpshaped]

masterlist

tw vampire whumper, psychological whump, intimate whumper, forced comfort

"Whatever is the matter with you?"

Beck shrugged a little. He still barely even looked at Helle, let alone engaged in their banter. "I don't know. I'm sorry."

They gently took him by the chin, turning his head towards them so they'd be able to look him in the eye. They didn't seem concerned, just confused and annoyed. "Is it me? Am I the problem? Are my insults and mockery getting less... gutting?"

Beck thought he might be able to sense some semblance of care behind the joking tone, but he was too exhausted to pay too much attention. "No, that's definitely not it," he said honestly. "They're... they're definitely pretty gutting. I mean, if, if we're being honest here– they make me wanna cry half the time."

The vampire let go of him and leaned back, still fixing him with a suspicious look. "Okay. So... whatever is it, then? You barely react. Our of the two of us, you seem more dead."

"I'm tired, Helle," he admitted, and averted his eyes again. "I'm sorry. That's– I think that's just it. I'm so tired of being... afraid, and hurt, and angry. I just can't do it tonight. I bet that's very frustrating, since that seems like the only reason you even keep me around in this way instead of enthralling me and whisking me away to your mansion or whatever, but I just... I can't. I can't do it every night. I'm tired."

The silence that stretched between them wasn't a necessarily uncomfortable one. It was almost peaceful, contemplative. Beck used it to simply zone out and stare at the TV in front of him — despite the fact that it wasn't even turned on, and he was just looking at his reflection. Only his. And Helle? Helle used it to think about whatever the hell vampires thought about, when they weren't thinking about blood and torture. Maybe they were thinking about blood and torture. There was no way to know.

"I do keep you around for those tasty little emotions," they said eventually. "It is quite fun to see you react to whatever I am doing. But I think..." They grabbed him by the arm and pulled him closer, positioning him so that he was laid across the sofa with his head in their lap. "I do not have to pull from the negative ones all the time. Especially if they are a limited resource."

Beck would've lied if he said the situation didn't scare him. He felt numb, yes, but he wasn't dead. Or emotionless. His muscles still tensed up at having to navigate unfamiliar territory, and his breathing and pulse quickened. But he couldn't react in the way Helle wanted. He didn't have the energy to protest and beg.

They began gently petting his hair, like one might do with a cat. It felt... nice. It wasn't comforting, but it was objectively pleasant, and... Helle was right. It was different, and different made him feel.

"I could make the distinction differently," they murmured. "I could simply make your days bad and worse, have your brain switching between dread and more dread."

Oh, it was a foolish question, the one on the tip of his tongue; but it was a justified one. Should he risk it? Or should he keep quiet and enjoy the break?

He was never going to learn to keep his mouth shut.

"Why don't you?" he asked quietly.

The vampire scratched his scalp with sharp nails, and Beck once again felt like he was nothing but a pet. But it was so good. It felt so nice. He couldn't help but turn his head a little, lean into the touch, and even though he managed to stifle the pleased hum that threatened to breach his aura of indifference, the way he arched his back to be able to push against Helle's hand probably told them everything they wanted to know.

They smiled sweetly. "It is an odd thing, really. Sometimes I look at your adorable little face and I want nothing more than to ruin it with tears and bruises. And sometimes... sometimes I come here with that exact intent, and yet you manage to say or do something... and I just change my mind out of nowhere. Sometimes I want to see you like this."

"Like a dog."

"Like a happy dog. Relaxed, content, lazily wagging his little tail — wagging it specifically because I scratched him behind the ears." Beck felt his face heating up at the comparison, even though it was the same one he'd made a moment ago. It was different, coming from Helle. "But it does make me wonder... How would you react if I were to take it all away?"

Beck tensed again, waiting for them to do just that. For their fingers to tighten in his hair, for the claws to draw blood. For Helle's gentle expression to turn cold and cruel. He found himself desperately hoping it was merely a hypothetical.

"There it is," they whispered. "That fear. That uncertainty. That pleading look I treasure oh so much." They continued petting him, satisfied with how he was unable to relax at all now. "A little hope and kindness goes a long way, I suppose."

~

taglist: @whumpsday @the-scrapegoat @hidden-dreamland @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @delicateprincepaper @whumppmuhw @florissimps @nicolepascaline @oliversrarebooks @the-cyrulik @pirefyrelight @there-will-always-be-blood @pigeonwhumps @echo-goes-mmm @whumpycries @morning-star-whump

[nekropsii]

Also that June post sucked I wrote it on sleep meds at like 6 in the morning I articulated myself like shit. Not an excuse, but it is an explanation.

Further rambling under the cut.

I was trying to make the point that it’s deeply frustrating to me how much of a big deal was made out of it (in a negative sense) and how much harassment ensued especially right in the moment when nothing had even really happened yet and still hasn’t really happened but I said that Badly.

The JKR comparison was not a statement of there being any bigotry present, it’s just literally the only example most people - me included - can think of when talking about an author confirming some kind diversity before it even happens, if we see it at all. I’ll admit part of why I’m so cynical is that I grew up in an era where queerphobic jokes and queerbait were just about the only thing you could get in mainstream media, and everyone would still tout that as if it’s real representation, so I’m always prepared for people to just be lying to me.

So, I see that June gets confirmed in 2019 because someone won a treasure hunt, and we still haven’t really seen her, and I’m just instinctively deeply skeptical it’s even gonna happen. Especially considering we got that fuckin’ Roxy Detransition arc first.

Another sticky point is the canonicity of Postcanon, period. I do not see any works outside of Homestuck proper to be canon, especially not in the way that Homestuck itself is canon. I’ve said this several times on my blog and didn’t feel it worth reiterating but it’s kind of important, especially given the JKR comparison. I think June is awesome, it’s a really cool progression of her character, especially considering Homestuck was once pop culture and she’s the literal main character. But part of why I kept saying it was “literally nothing” was because I was operating under the mindset of “it’s not even canon anyway, why are you harassing people for being excited about it?”. It’s stupid to act like a character or person coming out as trans ruins everything for you in general, but it was especially stupid to me for this to be such a federal fucking issue when basically all we had to go off of at the time was a Tweet, especially in a fandom that proclaims itself to be so progressive, and especially when so many people who were denouncing June as being “not real” due to being in Postcanon got so excited when Roxy was turned into a trans dude. It’s just stupid and unfair and transparent, and I hate it.

The Junecourse situation was super fucking messy and really hard to navigate, and it frustrated me a lot because a lot of people were being kind of silly or even just outright bigoted. It was strange that people got so mad about it, it was strange that some people acted like June was a real person, it was strange that people got badly harassed no matter what they did or said. It was stressful and weird, and it was dumb to me that all that warring and all those lies were circling around a tweet, for the most part, and plenty are still operating under the simple tweet confirmation.

I should acknowledge that there’s apparently more than just the lone tweet now. I’m sure I’ve seen all that before, but I’ve got pretty bad memory issues and, again, I was writing it at 6 am on sleep meds, so it genuinely spaced my brain. That is completely on me and I apologize for contributing to false narratives. The post’s been deleted. I’m not asking for forgiveness or anything, I’m just explaining myself. It was a bad post, but I wasn’t making it out of malice, though I do recognize that in situations like this, intent doesn’t matter nearly as much as actions and impact does. That was a failure on my part. I’ve since deleted it.

I’m apologizing here not because there’s a fire being lit under me or anything - I’m not being pressured - but because this is a genuinely important issue to me. Sadly, I am merely an ally and still in the active process of reading theory, so I lack the general polish one acquires from lived experience and actual real learnedness. Transmisogyny is not a reality I have to live with every waking moment of my life, and as a TME man it is a systemic force that works directly in my favor, so I’m liable to accidentally perpetuate it, even if it’s something I do not believe in personally and am making strides to, for lack of a better, less cringe-inducing term, “be a better ally” about.

TLDR; I fucked up and made a sloppy post that contributed to false narratives surrounding a confirmed Transfem character and the discussion of her online. It sat around 77 notes as of deleting, though most were thankfully just likes rather than there being a whole lot of spread. Still sucks, though, and I’m sorry.

Thank you for reading.

[samptlay]

To My Sweetheart Who Carries A Wounded Heart Ch. 10

Series Masterlist, Chapter 1 🤍, Chapter 2 🖤, Chapter 3 🤍, Chapter 4🖤, Chapter 5🤍, Chapter 6🖤, Chapter 7🤍, Blade & Reader's Relationship, Chapter 8🖤, Chapter 9🤍

Blade’s phone was ringing, & your name was on the screen.

Did you find out about the affair? Are you calling him while crying your eyes out? Though that could be the case, it seemed less likely that you needed to learn what was happening. So why in the world would you be calling him right now? He doesn’t know or have a single idea, but he probably shouldn’t keep you waiting, whatever it is.

“Y/N?”

“Ren, hey. I’m sure you weren't expecting my call but right now I have no idea where Levi is and I'm feeling like crap. Are you busy with anything right now?”

He did not think he could get any more worked up, but hearing the sorrow in your voice as well as the fact you just told him you felt lonely almost made him see red. In all honesty, he was about to run to his dining room, snatch his keys from off the table, and rush to his car but he hadn’t even showered, let alone brush his teeth. Though he’s sure that you’d let him do all that at your place if he were to leave right now he couldn’t show up unpresentable to you, could he? That could ruin some of his image on you and he’d rather jump off a cliff than let that happen. (He really would.)

“Hello~? Do you have plans? I saw on your calendar you were off but if you already have somewhere to be then-”

Shoot, he got lost in thought for a moment there. Of course, he didn’t have anything to do, he’s never occupied when it comes to you but he’s sure you’re not aware of that fact.

“No- I’m free. I mean-”

He coughs, and you end up giggling from the other end. His ears turn a bit pink from embarrassment as he clears his throat and he decides to speak again.

“Just give me like, 30 minutes I'll be there soon, alright?”

“Mhm. See you soon.”

He could hear your not-so-subtle chuckles before you hung up, but he was already throwing his phone onto his bed and making his way to the bathroom, turning on the shower before brushing his teeth at a speed that definitely made sure they were pearly white. Again, he could never look like a mess in front of you, it just didn't sit right with him.

Blade didn't even wait for the water to fully warm up before stripping and grabbing his toothbrush and toothpaste, getting inside, and deciding to multitask with everything. In the back of mind, Blade knew that he shouldn't be this eager to see you, shouldn't be in such a rush to want to be in the company of a married woman, but he couldn't help it. It's always been this way and he doesn't really want it to change any time soon.

~

After getting himself situated and hopping into his car, Blade's brain took more time to realize that today would be a lot harder for you than any other. He just notes that he was sad as well. You wouldn't know how much courage it took for him to not run into that hospital room and hold you in his arms.

It was a loss of a life. One that could have brought you so much happiness, but was stripped of you.

However, he could make it better. Blade's not the greatest at expressing his feelings at times though he's always could effortlessly make you smile. He was certain he could do it today, too. So why not go pick up a little something for you while he's on his way? Surely it couldn't have any negative effects.

~

A/N: I've been having second thoughts about this fic. I looked back to some previous chapters and realized I was not too fond of the way it was written. One person said the way I write Blade is ooc… (on Tumblr) which didn't help my encouragement to write this. I'm excited about the new fic and I'm going to be investing a lot of my energy into that one because I don't get much feedback about this one, it's harder to do better. Therefore, this fic is going on Hiatus until further notice. I'll be using that time to learn more while working on something else.

I MIGHT add chapters randomly if I have work done but updates are not regular as of now. But it will not be abandoned. (I believe.)

If you have any questions or comments, don't be afraid to leave them. ♡ ~♪◍•

Taglist: @uhfhfhfhf @xdrin @msun1c0rn @umi-adxhira @lovingnahida @strrawb3rrysh0rtcak3 @ssecylia @skyl8ver @immahuman @meowmeowraven @01234 @markexplanation @esthelily @dawnofazrael @chickenalfredo4life @eccaza @jun-xiu @klemen-time @delulu-val @everi-eve @cluelesstoeverything @strangersomeone

Borders by @cafekitsune

[runninguplenorahills]

!!Rant incoming!! Because I truly think I’ve never seen something quite like this thing some people in the tag have with Mike Wheeler!

Mike expresses his insecurities about being worthless and not good at anything and Will builds him back up by telling him that he’s an inspiration to the party, that he’s their leader and therefore essential and important to every mission, that he’s the heart that holds the whole team together. Which is all true! Mike has an extremely distorted perception of himself and Will helps him too see who he actually is!

And what do the people in the fandom do? Make posts left and right about how “Omg Mike is only the heart for Will but Will is actually the heart of the party”, “Will sees Mike as a knight in shining armor while Mike actually holds a candle stick”, “Mike is not a knight, he’s the damsel in distress”, “Mike can’t fight for himself but that’s okay because Will is gonna save him”, “Mike needs to use his brain for once”, “Mike is incompetent”, “Mike wouldn’t be able to use a sword” “Mike wouldn’t be able to use a gun” “Mike can’t win a fight” etc. totally flipping it all around and creating this false narrative were Will is the one with the distorted perception of who Mike actually is!! YOU COMPLETELY MISSED THE POINT!!

In all of those polls that get created Mike always ends up being the butt of the joke because “Mike isn’t as muscular as Will so of course Will is better than him at absolutely everything”, “Mike is too dumb to be good at that”, “Mike is super clumsy so he can’t do that”. Or fanfictions where “Mike doesn’t know his way around Hawkins”, “Mike has no common knowledge”, “Will has to do everything for Mike because he can’t do anything on his own”. Which of course goes hand in hand with depicting Will as perfect as well as assigning all the “positive” attributes to Will while assigning the “negative” ones to Mike. And back to the polls, literally the only polls in which Mike wins are the ones where the question is who of the party members is most likely to be, like or do something and it’s either related to falling down or it’s a gay stereotype!! [which is a whole other problem!]

This general perception of the characters that has somehow formed, in which Mike is this total “cringe fail loser” who’s clumsy and stupid and needs everything to be told, who can’t do anything right and gets villainized for his oh so many mistakes, while Will is super over confident and cool, above average at every single thing he does and is always chill and doesn’t do anything wrong, is incredibly bizarre to me. THIS IS NOT AT ALL WHO THESE TWO ARE!!!! And the thing is, one of the many great things about byler is that Mike and Will are equals and treat each other as such!! Turning around and making Will stand above Mike totally ruins a big part of what makes this ship so good!!

And it’s just especially frustrating with Mike, not only because people totally undermine who he is and what he’s capable of, but also because we have this scene of him opening up about feeling useless, worthless and overall like he can’t do anything right! We have this in the show!!! And Will gives him a truly wonderful, emotional, heartbreaking love confession in response to build him back up! The point Will made is: “This is who you are, Mike, and that’s why I love you so much!”, and not: “I love you so much and that’s why I see you this way”!!!! As I said, if you honestly believe that Will is the one with a distorted perception of Mike, and not Mike, then you completely missed the point! And quite literally, you too have a distorted perception of Mike Wheeler as a character!

Again, I’ve truly never seen something quite like this!! Mike expressing that he feels like he’s worthless, Will proving to him that he’s not, and the fandom turning around and going: “Well actually, Mike is worthless and everything Will said about him is only how he sees him.”

And all this while Mike Wheeler is canonically super intelligent and capable, solving problems left and right, coming up with the best plans every season and always ready to fight!!! Everything Will said about Mike is objectively true! He is a an exceptional leader! He is inspiring to everyone in the party! He is getting and holding the whole team together! This is all canon!!!

But I guess some of y’all are watching a different show….

Of course I’m well aware of the fact that everyone interprets and sees characters differently and has their own headcanons. But in this case people are completely disregarding what is explicitly and obviously shown about the character in canon to push a worse fanon version!! People are making the most bizarre and out of character statements about Mike Wheeler and the whole tag will applause them that the takes are so in character, even though they’re clearly not! They quite literally mostly directly contradict with what we know about the character in canon!! And somehow there are still people who think the show is gonna pick up on the made up version!! This widely accepted misinterpretation of Mike’s character is insane to me because people actually think that it’s canon even though it pretty obviously is not! It’s incredibly bizarre, especially because the fanon version is clearly so so so much worse than the real, canon Mike Wheeler!!

And it’s so ironic seeing this happen so much in the byler tag specifically because we are supposed to be the ones on Mike’s team! We’re the ones criticizing melvins and the ga for undermining Mike’s character, all while there are some of you who do the exact same thing.

[radio-writes]

These asks seemed similar to me so I thought I'd tackle them in one go.

What I think of Alastor The Radio Demon

I've never really done a character analysis before so I'm not sure how to go about it. Honestly, I had to rewrite this several times to trim it down. 

I put little footnotes here and there for parts that I think ruined the flow of thought, and weren't essential but still figured were worth a mention. Corresponding footnotes can be found below the lower divider for any interested.

The way I see Alastor, and how I try to write him, is that he's smart—terrifyingly so—and emotional. 

I mean we all know he's basically a textbook manipulator. He's charming, great at reading people, and brilliant enough to know exactly what to say and when to say it. 

He's so gifted at charming people that a fair portion of the fandom's basically head over heels for him—despite the fact that based on what we've seen in the series, he's an objectively despicable person.

And he's so good at manipulating people that, again, a huge portion of the fandom thinks he actually sees the hotel gang as friends/family now. Hell—a lot of people even believed him when he said he cared for Charlie like a daughter.

Add his brains and his skill of wrapping people around his clawed finger, to his god-complex1 and selfishness, and what you'll see is that, on paper, he should absolutely be the big bad of the show.

Except...he currently isn't; and I don't think he will be although it would surely be fun to see how that would go.

Because as much as he is terrifyingly evil, he is also, extremely driven by his emotions.

I know it sounds like a bit of an ass-pull.

Alastor being emotional? The same demon that doesn't drop his smile even when having a whole mental breakdown? The same demon who doesn't bat an eye at a hotel patron dying?

Well, yes. Because there's more to feelings other than sadness and love and care.

There's anger, there's hope, there's desperation, there's pride, there's hate.

And I think Alastor is absolutely driven by these and more.

As said by the most darling, delightful, dangerous overlord over one side of the pentagram,

"words are cheap, but actions, they speak the truth."

As much as Alastor wants to think he's in control, we've seen his emotions come first before rational thinking. 

His pride has absolutely taken over him. He thinks he's above it all, untouchable, unreachable. Because he's so clever, so strong, so charming, and it has more or less gotten him everything he's wanted.

But it's this pride of his that has also lead to his most glaring flaws.

Alastor's first instinct was to lower Lucifer in any way that he could—leverage whatever he did have that Lucifer didn't (height, a relationship with Charlie etc.). Because Al knew that Lucifer was inherently stronger than him, better than him—and he hated that.

His pride couldn't stand the blow, and that—along with feelings of irritation and likely insecurity— is what drove his actions for most of that episode; overtaking even his usually smart wits.2

But it's not just negative emotions.

If Alastor being a mama's boy is still canon, then even his relationships are steered by emotions too, whether he's aware of it or not.

His love for his mother influences his biases towards women. How he judges and approaches them miles more fairly than he does men.

Hell, his whole persona—the transatlantic accent, the radio theme, the over the top silly jokes, his laugh even!—all a by product of his passion for being a radio host.

But why does being emotional mean Alastor won't be the antagonist in the show, you ask?

Well because, being emotional is such a humane thing. It shows weakness, vulnerability. Something the show has often used as leeway to develop and redeem its characters.

While I don't think Alastor has the best intentions coming into the hotel—or even at the point of the season 1 finale really—I do think him being this emotional of a person shows that there is some chance of him genuinely growing fond of the gang, and then settling into the found family at some point in the future.

It may not be a conscious choice, it may take some pushing and pulling, it may take the whole run of the series, but Alastor is capable of caring. And when he feels something he feels it to a point past his own rational thinking.

Would love to see him try to betray the hotel though as some last minute attempt to maintain an evil persona.

Now this doesn't exactly mean I can see Alastor ascending into heaven not unless they drag him kicking and screaming.3 But I do think that in the end, he'll find some sort of other form of "redemption," one that he would actually like.

Perhaps it's coming to terms with the fact that he is mortal and that is okay and it doesn't mean he's any weaker or any lesser. And that even if it did, it shouldn't matter.

Honestly, I'd be more terrified of him once he's come to that point. The only weakness Alastor right now has—aside from whatever deal it is that he made—is his ego.

You could probably get away or manipulate him back if you struck at it, but once he's all done with hotel therapy time and has his emotions under control? That man's going to be unstoppable and I fear for all of hell.

Maybe Charlie should let him keep his issues after all?

1 I find Alastor's god-complex extremely ironic. Oh, he definitely has it. My best guess is that it stemmed from his serial killing days.

If the previous source saying that he killed on a weird moral code (not unlike Dexter) still holds water, then he probably saw himself as some god doing such good work for the people. Judging criminals and delivering punishment.

This whole, "I'm so strong and untouchable even amongst criminals" mentality of his was probably egged on when he got into Hell and he was able to take down big bad overlords with ease. That definitely fed his ego nicely.

Now I say I find it ironic because well, he thinks he's so above it all. So perfect and pristine—nothing like all those other sinners. He doesn't care for senseless killing or stealing jewelry or sex, no he's so much better than that, isn't he?

Well, the way I see it, he's really no different.

*cue angry radio noises*

He cares so much for all the material and outwardly things. Sure, it's not to brag or to be sexy, but you can't tell me that fucker isn't just as vain as say, someone like Velvette.

He'd probably freak if anyone caught him outside of his well tailored suits and impeccable posture. 

To Alastor, image and public opinion must mean so much more than he's willing to admit.

And all that killing the bad guys, killing the criminals, killing the scum of the earth. Oh let's not pretend he does it out of any other reason aside from the fact that he loves it. 

It's an act for power for him, not actually done to protect anybody.

And considering he eats most of his victims now, I'd say he's actually below your average criminal.

On sex—well, fine. He can have that one, I suppose.

But still, the irony that this man thinks he's so above your common everyday sinner is just hilarious to me, because he's exactly just like them.

2 I have seen people say that this is yet another one of Alastor's cleverly planned schemes. That he kept pushing only because he was confident Lucifer wouldn't smite someone Charlie cared about. Which, sure, I could see that being the case later on in their interactions.

But as an introduction? An opening line? When he didn't know Lucifer's temperament, and Lucifer didn't know how much Charlie valued/cared for Al?

No. I genuinely think, that this was purely a gamble on Alastor's part. A slip, a jab that he just had to make to save his own pride.

3 Personally, while I absolutely love all the angelic designs of Al, I really do not want him up in heaven unless it's for comedic purposes or he's grocery shopping for angel meat.

Dude was a serial killer. Granted, he killed criminals. But I've never been a fan of vigilante killings. I mean, who's to say the person he killed actually did the crime though? What if it had been someone who was actually innocent?

And even if they weren't, can you imagine if he killed your parent in your lifetime for say, stealing some bread to feed you? And you're just chilling in heaven and all of a sudden your parent's murderer is redeemed while your parent still rotted in Hell?

I would just start a riot right then and there, damnation be damned.

Besides, red suits Alastor best, anyway.

Tagging @cofeedaifuku because they were the only one out of the three that weren't on anon. Hope my fellow vien and the other anon find this answer anyway.

[caliswans]

social media is killing us

mainpage | rants | whispers

content warning: mental health & eating disorders

i've been using social media for so long. it's most likely been over a decade since i've been online.

when i was younger it was so much easier to not have to worry about stupid shit and what people posted that made me worry about my appearance.

but now it's so disgusting?? the amount of times i will scroll through my socials (mainly twitter and tiktok which i'll discuss later) and see shit that promote things that ruin your self-confidence and could practically kill you. and so many trends that deter people from being their actual selves.

tiktok especially is SO brain rotted when it comes to people's appearance. “anti-wrinkle straw” “how to stop being ugly” how to get rid of this how to get rid of that SHUT THE FUCK UP?? it's so fucking irritating because it will be the most random and unimportant feature that people point out and cause others to become insecure of it. and it's so common around girls my age and younger and it's so frustrating because that should be the LAST of our worries in this world right now. and instagram has done the same thing with implementing unrealistic standards for GROWING bodies. it's so annoying to see this type of shit when nobody is perfect and everyone is so unique in their own way.

if i see an “anti-aging” thing one more fucking time i might smash my head into a brick fucking wall. i saw this video the other and it actually made me cackle because why the fuck are yall wearing knight armor to go to bed??

and do not even get my started on the trends because it's the dumbest shit ever. why does it matter what's currently popular right now and what's not?? “is this still trending or should i not wear it?” “is this still trending or should i not get it?” i will smack you over the head with those 14 stanley cups you bought stfu.

the overconsumption actually goes crazy because it's so fucking brain rotted it makes my head feel mushy. and i feel like people don't realize how stressful it is because it's literally doomscrolling. everything on these apps are so negative it's so harmful, and lots of people interact with negative content without realizing it. and the phone addictions make it even worse. (coming from someone who has said phone addiction!!)

twitter has to be the worse place mentally in my opinion so i just deleted it completely. i used to suffer from an eating disorder for about 6 years (??) and without me even INTERACTING with the content i'd get hundreds of thousands of notifications from ED twt and it was fucking disgusting. why has promoting eating disorders become so common these days??

an eating disorder was something that damaged me so emotionally, mentally, and physically. the fact that people are still going through it is so heartbreaking to me but the fact that people are ENCOURAGING it is absolutely fucking disgusting. there's this one girl on tiktok (i don't remember her name) and it's so nasty because all she does is show off her EXTREMELY!!!!!! unhealthy diet and show off her body. i’m not saying there is anything wrong with showing off your body trust i LOVE dressing like a whore but there's a difference between confidence and promoting unhealthy lifestyles.

anyways……. this was frustrating me a lot so i had to get it out.

i’ve been through a lot of things mentally and have healed (and still healing) from it so if yall want to, send in asks for stuff for me to talk about!! toodles!!!!!!

[emonydeborah]

trektober day 23: first kiss/lockdown

spoilers for SNW 1x10 and 2x02

"Sorry, Captain, the protocols are buried pretty deep." Chris leaned his forehead on the side of the turbolift.

"Can't you beam us out?"

"Negative, Captain," Spock reported.

"The point of the protocols is to keep biocontaminants from spreading," Joseph explained. "They're pretty pointless if you can just beam out."

"That's great, Doctor, except that there are no contaminants," Una said. She paced the length of the turbolift, arms crossed.

There was a slight pause, presumably for everyone on comms to decipher her tone. "We're working on it. M'Benga out."

"Well, I guess Captain Batel is going to have to wait," Chris sighed. He slid down the wall and sat on the floor, long legs taking up half the space. Una nearly tripped over him as she continued to pace. "Sit down, Una. We might as well get comfortable."

"I'm fine, sir," Una said through gritted teeth. Chris frowned.

"We've been in tighter spots than this," he said. "Literally. What's got you so antsy?"

Una looked down at him, and he blinked. He hadn't seen that appraising expression in years, but he knew what it meant. She was deciding whether to trust him or not.

"If I'm right," she said slowly, "about why Captain Batel is here, this isn't going to look good. She'll think I'm avoiding her."

"What? Why?" Una maneuvered around his legs and continued to pace. "Why do you think she's here?"

"To arrest me." Air froze in Chris's lungs. Una reluctantly met his eyes and grimaced. "I turned myself in, Chris."

"What?! Why would you do that? Why didn't you tell me?" Chris shot to his feet. "They wouldn't dare- Pike to bridge, send Captain Batel and her officers back-"

"Belay that," Una said firmly. She grabbed Chris's arms. "Chris, I've always known this might happen. At least this way it's on my terms."

"They can't just abduct you off my ship!"

"Chris." She squeezed his arms, grounded him in the moment with her. "It's okay. I'm ready for this fight."

"I'm not!" Chris burst. "You belong here on Enterprise. The loss to the crew- to me-" Something shifted in his brain, like puzzle pieces falling into place. He looked down into Una's eyes, knowing he was about to lose her, and suddenly everything was painfully clear.

He glanced at her lips, and Una's breath hitched. He leaned towards her, slowly, so slowly. She tilted her head and stretched up to meet him, and that was all the confirmation he needed.

He kissed her, and it was fervent and desperate and she tasted like strawberry lip gloss. Her arms slid up around his neck, pulling him closer, and he went willingly, anything to be as close as possible.

They only broke apart enough to breathe, chests heaving together, Chris's forehead pressed to hers.

"That was nice," Una said quietly, with the ghost of a smile. "Terrible timing, though."

"Better than never at all, right?" Chris said. He wrapped his arms around her waist, anchoring her to him as best he could. He kissed her forehead because he could do that, he wanted to hug her and kiss her and make her dinner and kiss her and take her riding and kiss her-

Una made a contented humming sound, and Chris's thoughts hurtled back to the present. "I'm not letting this happen," he promised, and Una pulled back to look him in the face.

"I turned myself in, Chris," she said gently. "I knew this would happen. Please respect my choice here." Chris met her eyes and found nothing but certainty. His shoulders sagged, and he nodded.

"Then I'm getting you out," he said firmly. "I don't care what it takes."

"I do." Una took his face in her hands and made sure he didn't look away. "Don't ruin your life for me, Chris. At least," she continued when he tried to protest, "stay within the law." Chris frowned, and Una quirked a smile. She pulled him into a second kiss, softer this time.

"Spock to Captain Pike." Una's face fell, and Chris sighed.

"Go ahead, Spock."

"The protocols have been satisfied, Captain. The turbolift will resume shortly."

"Understood. Thanks, Spock."

The floor jolted underneath them, and Una peeled herself away to fix her uniform and smooth her hair. Chris tidied his own appearance and watched the transporter deck slide closer and closer. Una flexed her fingers and bounced on her heels, and in the few seconds they had left, Chris took her chin and drew her into one last kiss.

He took her hand and didn't let go, even when they got to the transporter room. Together, they stepped through the doors.

[cricket-reader]

Sabotage

Masterlist | A03 | Wattpad | Recommendations | Inbox | Taglist

Summary: after a particularly rough mission and some gaslighting, you’re there to help Bucky pick up the pieces.

Warnings: language, Bucky’s negative thoughts, Bucky getting harassed and bullied, Bucky’s conditioning as the Winter Soldier, past abuse/torture, Bucky trying to recover, fluff

Word Count: 1130

Prompt: "Don't lie to me." | Accident | Doubt | Gaslighting

A/N: Day 17 of June of Doom by @juneofdoom

They say accidents happen, it’s what makes us human. And while that does hold true, this wasn’t an accident.

Bucky went on a mission with three SHIELD agents. They split into groups of two and set the rendezvous point. You were monitoring the communication system like usual. Two of the agents must have forgotten that anything and everything they said was being monitored.

“Okay, you remember the plan?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m not an idiot. All I have to do is make sure Barnes takes the downfall.”

“Which will be easy because everyone knows he’s fucked up in the head.”

Hearing those things about your boyfriend makes your blood boil. How dare they? They have some nerve talking about him like that with you on the other end of their conversation. You paused before replying. Maybe they didn’t realise that you could hear everything they were saying. The comm system got an upgrade because everyone realised how dangerous it could be if someone was trapped and couldn’t get their hand up to their comm device.

You sat back. This would all be recorded. After the mission you could send it to Fury and these two idiots would be discharged.

You sat back with a smug look on your face. Karma was a bitch, after all.

When the mission was done, Bucky was confused as he took out his comm and placed it in the box. What went wrong? Everything was going perfectly fine. There was no way things could have gone that wrong.

When the agents began griping about how this was all Bucky’s fault, he had doubts. He didn’t do anything wrong. So, he said exactly that.

The agents stared at him with a palpable anger and hatred. Bucky assumed it was because he somehow messed up the mission. It was really because they loathed Bucky with all their being.

“You probably just can’t fucking remember what you did wrong with that block of Swiss cheese for a brain,” the one had grumbled.

“Yeah, even I saw what you did wrong.” The agent that had been with him the whole time joined in. “You probably just don’t want to get in trouble. Are you going to blame it on the newbies so we get in trouble instead? That’s really shitty of you.”

“But… but I–“

They all sighed. He looked like a kicked puppy, which only brought them joy.

“Listen. I know you are supposedly a good guy now, but I’m not sure if I think that’s true. You just completely ruined the mission, and now you’re trying to blame it on us?”

“Why did they even let you come on missions in the first place?”

And with those words, the seeds of doubt had left. He was still messed up from everything Hydra did to his brain. Maybe they were right. Maybe he did mess up.

He froze.

He knew that you were on the communication system. What did you think of your failure of a boyfriend now? You would probably berate him just like the SHIELD agents. He deserved it.

When he got back, he went straight to his room to shower. He didn’t want to talk to you like he usually did when he got done with missions. You’d probably just remind him of his failures.

Is his brain so messed up that he can’t even remember what he did wrong? After spending an hour in the shower thinking over everything he did, Bucky still couldn’t for the life of him remember what he did. But he had to have done it. Three stable agents cleared for missions that important versus an unstable, brainwashed ex-assassin that somehow also got clearance to go on a mission that important.

Even if he didn’t do anything wrong, the chances of anyone believing him were nil.

“Bucky?”

Shit. It was you. From the sound of it, you were right outside the door. He didn’t want you to come talk to him about how he just messed up a really important mission. He felt like a failure as it was. He didn’t need you rubbing salt into the wound.

He couldn’t hide from you forever, though. Since he was dressed he didn’t have an excuse to hide away any more.

He opened the door to see your concerned face. You smiled at him as if he didn’t just colossally fuck up. “Hey, sweetheart, you okay?”

He frowned. No he wasn’t okay. Of course he wasn’t okay. He truly thought he was getting better. Maybe that was stupid on his part. He was hopeless. Steve should have killed him when he had the chance. Hell, even Tony should have killed him when he had the chance. He’d deserve it.

“What’s going on in that head of yours, honey?” You pulled him to your body, carding your hand gently through his wet hair.

He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve you. He deserved punishment. He messed up the mission. He’d be beaten and put into the chair. Hydra doesn’t tolerate mistakes.

Bucky dropped to the ground as he had been trained to do after missions that went awry. He waited for the kicks and punches but they never came.

“Bucky? Honey, what’s going on? Talk to me, baby. You’re okay, you’re safe. Everything is okay.”

You saw him hyperventilating, clearly in a different mental space. If you had less resolve, you would have marched back to those three agents to kick their asses. How dare they put Bucky in a state like this!

You knelt down on the ground in front of him. A few minutes passed before Bucky’s eyes met yours. They were red and tears were begging to be released.

“It’s okay, Buck. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Don’t lie to me.” His voice sounded so heartbreaking. He truly thought that he was at fault for what had happened.

“I’m not lying, Bucky. Those agents tricked you, they gaslighted you into thinking that you messed up when in all reality, they purposely sabotaged the mission just to hurt you. None of it was your fault.”

“How can you be sure?”

“I heard everything they said. It’s all recorded. They were stupid enough to discuss the plan whilst they had their comms in.”

“So… I didn’t ruin everything?”

“No, Bucky, of course not. You’re a good man and you’re getting better every day. Don’t let those stupid agents get to you. You are doing so good, okay?”

His shoulders relaxed from their hunched position as if the weight of the world had been released from his shoulders. “Can you… can you maybe hold me for a bit?”

You smiled at him. He was still working on asking for things that he needed and wanted. You were so proud of his progress. “Of course, baby.”

Bucky Taglist: @harleycao @hallecarey1

[aajjks]

NWO!JK

earlier today…

“ah! holy shit, you scared me”

“sorry, sorry. i just wanted to give this to you”

“well good morning to you too, mj” you say with a subtle roll of your eyes. “and no thanks, i’ll pass” you try to push past mj but she doesn’t let you. she’s adamant about you receiving this multicolored bracelet that could possibly grant you an abundance amount of luck but jungkook’s words echo in your brain: avoid her.

jungkook would kill you if you weren’t to take this bracelet from mj and despite you not getting a clear reason as to why, you trust jungkook’s word. “oh c’mon, just try it” mj insists but you decline once again. mj then grabs your wrist but you snatch it back and shove mj against the wall. “what the hell is your problem, morgan?!” you yell. “i said no. now, quit it”

“i tried to be nice” is the last thing you hear before mj pulls a taser from her pocket and pushes it up against your waist. she then shoves you onto the floor before pushing the taser against your side once more. “w-wait til i get my fucking hands on you b-bitch” you pant. “you’ll be dead before that even happens” mj says before knocking you unconscious. she puts a multicolored bracelet on yours and her wrist and not even 5 minutes later, she’s awake in your body. her voice even sounds like yours.

“wow, it really worked” she says as she looks at her hands and runs her fingers through your hair. she pulls out the cat mask from her bag and puts it on your face. the eyes glow and with her command, her body rises and stands without uttering a word. “plan A was a success, me. now go into plan B” which is putting on the suit made with the most powerful crystals and your death. the good thing is that when jungkook kills you, you won’t even know it.

“SPEAK UP NOW Before I use the crystal to slit your fucking throat!”

the black cat doesn’t respond. instead, she releases a kinetic energy burst that nearly destroyed the entire apartment complex. all of those occupying the complex flea their apartments but you remain. too curious to see whether or not jungkook spider-man will kill the black cat once and for all. it’s the final showdown but who will win?

~🫧

Why isn’t MJ speaking up?

There is something weird about her because it feels like there’s a different person but the energy is really really negative, “UGH STOP THE DESTRUCTION RIGHT NOW!” Jungkook yanks her by the hair harder.

And you’re still standing there as he looks, “pretty girl can you move? As you can see I’m in an emergency right now.” he almost said your name out loud. “Come on MOVE!”

The black cat has her eyes on you she will attack you on any given moment and he doesn’t want you to get hurt but why aren’t you looking scared? Maybe you believe in him that much?

The thought of that makes his heart flutter.

Jungkook tries himself to stop thinking about you so he can focus on the black cat, “ugh you bitch you just have to ruin everything!” He senses her attack on you immediately and kicks her.

“GET OUT YN!”

Holy fuck. He just said your name out loud. “UGH FUCK YOU BITCH!” Jungkook says before picking up a piece of concrete and hitting her with it. He immediately manages to dodge her attacks on him.

This new suit has only enhanced his abilities.

“ WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM WITH HER HUH? AHH BITCH I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING REALLY WRONG WITH YOU, BUT I REALIZED IT TOO LATE.” Jungkook starts to beat her, harshly, punching the black cat.

Something about her is making him very angry, but part of him is warning him not to kill her right now.

What is going on and what are these mind games?

[morgana-ren]

I finished the game for the first last night (up til 2:30 am lol) and there was some real hurt when the Emperor just up and joined the Netherbrain as soon as PC put her foot down. Like I played my PC as genuinely giving him a chance to be the person he claimed to be. And he does that "don't you trust me uwu" thing as if the issue is trust and honesty. Like no dude, the issue is that what you are planning is unconscionable, not that you lied about your species. Need to write an essay on it tbh

That's actually where me and my bf started to suspect something. We did it just to see what would happen, and him immediately turning on his heel and joining the netherbrain made us go "What?" because it made no sense.

We questioned whether it was poor writing so that you had to choose, but the game is so well written that it didn't make sense. We couldn't figure out why he would just say 'fuck this' and give up everything and doom the world he claimed to care for just because we decided to liberate the Gith. Why why why--

Unless his true goals that he was obscuring from you would be ruined by the actual defeat of the mindflayer Grand Design.

He claims to want to be a member of society, and just to be treated like a normal person. He claims to want to save the world. That is the lie he tells you to gain your aid. I call it a lie, because it is one. If what he said was true, he would encourage you to release the Gith Prince to truly defeat the Grand Design once and for all, because the Gith Prince has the secret to doing so. If he truly wanted to actually save the world, he would want that security against the other mindflayers.

You know why he wouldn't want the release of the Gith Prince? Because the Gith Prince could foil his Grand Design too.

He says fuck you and runs off to join the netherbrain if you release the prince because he's defeated the netherbrain once, and he could likely do it again. It would be a huge inconvenience and it would knock centuries off his plan, and he would prefer not do, but he would do it. He could break free and end up dominating it somehow. He has proven he has the ability more than once.

The Gith Prince though? The prince knows how to truly defeat mindflayers once and for all, supposedly. He can't plan for it because he doesn't know how. It would well and truly foil his plans forever.

If he wasn't planning his own domination, he would want the prince freed to ensure the safety of all of humanity and the realms from the 'other' mindflayers.

That's the only way that makes sense.

Remember when I said all independent mindflayers are still mindflayers and seek to become the brain versus being a servant of it? Well it's a lot easier to do that if you have a band of gullible humans there to help you defeat the netherbrain and think you are their ally. That opens the way clear up for you to become the netherbrain instead and take over their dominion. Especially when the humans think you are their friend and trust you and don't tend to look into your business.

Withers tries to warn you of this. Many people try to warn you. Even Vlaakith, while mainly concerned for her own power, understands that the mindflayer locked in the prism is dangerous. There are books scattered throughout the world that say without a shadow of a doubt that mindflayers are manipulative bastards that are incapable of human emotions and thoughts. They lie to meet their own ends. At first, I thought it was because maybe he was the first... but really, what are the chances of that? Back that knowledge with my other knowledge on mindflayers and also the fact that you are conveniently ridding the world of the netherbrain for him, creating a power vacuum he plans to fill?

He's evil, dude. He's just using you. He will even admit it if you always choose negative options and don't fall for his ruse.

TLDR; The Emperor is a bastard filled with foreshadowing and you should not trust him.

[tiredeyesight]

distance kills

description : senator amidala begins to realise her feelings for you causing distance between the two of you, and when you go to confront her she is already looking for you

word count : 558

a/n : honestly this was so fun to write what the fuck. anyways padme is the loml and always will be so padme!! hope you guys enjoy this 💓

padme looked across the room, eyes searching for you. she finally located you after what she thought was a second too late. ‘my lord she is so gorgeous, i just want to pamper her in kisses ’ she thought causing her brain to stop and process for a second. her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, she couldn’t love you. no, it would ruin everything.

a smile was brought to your face when you saw padme walking over to you, god she was so effortlessly graceful. ‘hey padme!’ you went to go in for a hug but she stepped away causing thousands of thoughts to flutter around your head. ‘did i do something’ ‘shit why did she step back’ ‘please don’t hate me’. every type of negative thought went straight to your head, convincing you did something wrong. ‘hey are you okay?’ you asked delicately not to cause any further issues. ‘yea i’m fine sorry i have to go’

‘why do i like her’ padmes thoughts began, ‘i mean there’s several reasons why y/n is lovable, she’s intelligent, witty, kind, funny, and so outrageously beautiful. but i cant possibly romantically love her?’ padme’s heart began beating faster and faster the further away she got from you and closer to her room.

finally she made it to her home. padme collapsed onto to her bed as she came to term with her heart. however her brain often thought she was going to ruin everything that the two of you already have. she was infuriated with herself, why can’t she just love you platonically.

throughout the rest of the week every time you tried to see padme she would go in the opposite direction of you, tried to hide in plain sight from you or just blatantly avoid you. she had become late to meetings just so she wouldn’t run into you in the hallways or break rooms. it was smashing both of your hearts. this caused you to take matters in your own hands to figure out why she was avoiding you like a disease.

‘padme, can we please talk’ you asked through your communication devices. static, no response, cold hearted. you began walking around the huge building, searching every floor and every walkway. you had began asking strangers if they had seen her anywhere but she was like a ghost, no traces.

you bashed into someone causing the two of you to fall over. ‘i’m so sorry’ you said in sync. ‘padme!’ ‘y/n, i have been looking all over for you.’ ‘come with me’ you instructed as you led her away to a forgotten room.

‘why have you been ignoring me?’ you asked, ‘it’s been so hard not having you around, i miss our lunch talks and walks around the place with no destination in mind.’ ‘i’m so sorry, this distance was tearing me apart, i’m so so sorry’ tears began to well in padme’s eyes as she profusely apologises. ‘i love you, and i was scared about ruining everything but my gods i love you too much to just let it slide even if we lose everything’

your heart skipped a beat at padme’s confession. ‘i love you too’ you whispered. her tears vanished as you told her those four simple words. ‘can i kiss you’ she asked. with a simple nod the two of you clashed lips with a smile