#as i write this i am in my natural habitat

[kalims]

⊹ㅤattractive things they do | savanaclaw

parts. heartslabyul, savanaclaw, octavinelle, scarabia, pomefiore, ignihyde, diasomnia

characters. leona, ruggie, jack

note. this is actually a hallucination, if I posted twice in a week, consecutively. this isn't true

assertive to an extent (which is a lot in his case.) leona has a knack for pulling you over by your arm, a case is when some fearless students decides it was a good time to insult you right in his face and he raises a brow, then pulls you behind him? just quietly stares down the person cause he's not gonna exert more effort than that unless they got some sort of nerve of steel. he tends to take charge, a bad habit you suppose. what he wants is what he gets apparently.

if you catch his eye he always grins at you. maybe a smile would've been endearing but it's ruggie, his trademark grin is practically the smile of someone like him. across the cafeteria when you're on your way to a table? you see ruggie and he waves at you with a little imp of a grin. just peacefully passing by the hallway on your way to your class? oh. there he is, getting chased by people again. he just passes by and even spades you another grin, multitude of yells following behind him. 'meet me later' is shouted by him after.

jack hugs like a bear. he looks like he gives the warmest hugs, the one where you'll just be engulfed in his ginormous flesh of his arms and turn into putty. if you ever catch yourself in one, well. you'll be wishing you had a fluffy bed and a pair of equally fluffy pillows alongside in it. it's easy to fluster him whether you like it or not by bounding up to the guy, raising his arms to go around your body and melt. cause he will notice and forget he can't control the emotions of his tail.

[maddilynmuse]

For someone is a writer, my reading comprehension is shit sometimes ^^’

Baaaaaasically, my irl writing club explained to me that I can put my Kindlevella (and book) other places as long as it’s paywalled.

Relatedly, if you ALSO hate Amazon (as I do, but desperation does things to a motherfucker), then skip that bullshit and come buy me a Kofi. I’ve got a bit up now, and imma start crossposting the things I have on Amazon up there. Proceeds go to me and just me because Kofi is fucking awesome like that.

[the-blaze-empress]

What are your favorite things abt c!phil? i want to know his character better :3

OH ANON I WOULD BE DELIGHTED TO ANSWER THIS

god where to START hmmmmmm

okay ive stuck it under a read more because my god is there a lot. for anyone curious, i list off 10 of my favourite things about cphil (with explanations as to what an why), 10 of my favourite quotes, and also cover some more common fandom mischaracterisations

1 - his character design it's basic, but i need somewhere to start. i LOVE phils character design, idk, maybe its just something to do with birds and green and me being a cosplayer. especially his new skin! it has details, anon, and they all have meaning. i love me some details with meaning. and bc its minecraft, and because minecraft is pixels, theres SO MUCH ROOM FOR INTERPRETATION. anyone can go COMPLETELY ham with the design if they want to and they all look SO COOL.

2 - EMERALD DUO okay so ill say it outright; im a qpr emduo sorta person. at the very least im an ‘old friends/war buddies/ex emperors emduo’ person. dont get me wrong, techno is the eldest child, but in the dsmp, he’s not phil’s kid, they’re just really old friends. AND OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM. ‘for you the world’ NEED I SAY MORE??? the emeralds, the phil risking his life to protect techno from the butcher army, the techno worrying about phil participating in doomsday, the complete and utter undying trust they have in each other. theyre not perfect, they still disagree and still have differing opinions but they sort it out and compromise and make sure each other is always okay!!! them!!!

3 - birb cphil is a bird we all know this. and this is leaning more into fanon not explicitly canon, but im including it because i can. phil is bird, he has bird brain. bird instincts and bird features, like hollow bones, chirping, nesting, preening, all the good stuff. it adds a layer of depth to his character thats so fun to play with when writing!! there’s so much potential for both angst and fluff and i love it so much. also i just love birds so yknow. win win situation for me.

4 - family, its messy phil is part of what i believe is the biggest canonical family on the dsmp. there’s four generations ffs. he has a son, a grandson, even a great-grandson. and it’s not perfect. wilbur is. wilbur, but even though he went mad and even though he lied in his letters he still cared enough to send letters in the first place, phil still cared enough to read them. phil still cared enough to drop everything for his son. it was messy and it was heartbreaking but that is what it is to be a father, i think. sometimes whats right is whats hardest and its phils love for wilbur that was forever just so clear. its the way fundy fucked up, its the way phil fucked up in return, its the way they made up without properly making up but phil was always, always there for fundy, always cared for him at least a little, because that’s his grandson.

5 - leading on from the above, kristin!! ANON DO YOU KNOW HOW COOL IT IS FOR PHIL TO BE MARRIED TO THE LITERAL GODDESS OF DEATH?? phil is a trophy husband and you cannot convince me otherwise. his wife is SO COOL and SO POWERFUL and he loves her SO VERY MUCH. yeah sure hes a het guy in a homonormative society but i can forgive him for that because his wife is amazing. also less cphil, more ccphil, but i think its SO FUCKING COOL AND/OR FUNNY that ccphil literally just. wrote his wife into the dsmp on a whim. THATS how much he loves her that even tho shes not involved in this thing hes doing she’s still there in some sense.

6 - immortality yeah cphil CAN die, but here’s the catch; he doesn’t. hes functionally immortal and godddd i love it so much. hes so fucked up from it, but i love that about him (more on that point later). cphil has lived through so much and he has known so much and he has gained and lost SO MUCH but he’s still going strong, hes still loving and living and trying. who knows when he’ll finally die, not him and certainly not us.

7 - WOO TRAUMA mans is SO FUCKED UP. god where to even START with this. phil has not processed a single emotion in 500 years and he does NOT plan on starting now thank you very much. his sons death? nah lets build a country instead. watching his best friend be executed? nope not processing THAT lets find somewhere else to live oh yeah also i almost died. phils favourite thing is avoiding emotions and busying himself with some Other Task for Someone Else (new lmanburg, training room, various farms for techno, just to name a couple) so he Doesnt Have To Think About Anything. also perception of time? hell no he’s gonna be working for days without realising it. this is not healthy. he does not intend to stop. he blames himself for so much and rarely ever accepts help from anyone at all.

8 - kindness dont get me wrong if you get on the wrong side of phil you will find out exactly why some know him as the angel of death, but if ur not on that side of him, hes just. so kind and so caring. that one time when ranboo was deliberately trying to trigger the enderwalk out, and phil ran in and got rid of all the splash water bottles because he thought ranboo was getting hurt? yeah. that. protecting tommy without hesitation or question when dream was chasing him? yeah. that. building new lmanburg because tubbo had enough on his plate and he needed something to do anything to do he needed to keep his hands busy then it would be okay it had to be okay he had to be okay? yeah. that. visiting techno even while he was under house arrest to make sure he was okay? yeah. that.

9 - hes such a chaotic little fuck this is something a LOT of the fandom seem to. ignore. phil is not this sophisticated, calm, rational father figure. he can be sometimes (at a push) but thats not who he is. he’s an absolute chaos machine, and a fucking deadly one at that. he’s bored and you’re in the general vicinity? bye living! i think its well summed up in that one clip of phil and techno in a village, and techno’s grabbing a couple supplies here and there, and phil is just fucking gutting the place even if he doesnt actually need those supplies. he will murder (for fun), he will explode shit (for fun), he will cause mass genocide (for fun), he will fucking. idk he’ll do it all for fun.

10 - history imo, phil and techno are some of the best—if not the most—fleshed out characters in the dsmp. part of this, i reckon, is because of the history they have. you cannot talk about dsmp cphil properly without acknowledging smp earth and hardcore at the very least. the antarctic empire is there, phil and techno carry its shields and wear its colours. the angel of death is familiar to most if not all, the love for fucking freezing temperatures is there too. phil did decanonise the connection to hardcore, but a) many people who care ignore that, b) i ignore that, and c) it was there for at least a little, it had influence for at least a little. cphil is and old character, he didn’t just blip into existence in the dsmp, he has real, solid, pre-established history.

---

and now for some of my favourite cphil quotes!!

1 - Things, buildings, they can be replaced! People can't be replaced. I'm not losing anyone else... I'm not losing anyone else. Not to this bullshit. 

2 - (“Since when was this a Philza Minecraft thing?”) “Since I was forced to kill my own son, you idiot!”

3 - look i made this entire section to include One Specific Quote except i now cannot find that quote. fuck this fuck me. it was something phil said in chat at one point, he was talking to sam, saying how he [phil] was immortal, he had seen nations rise and fall, he had seen people like sam who craved power come and go with little consequence. its a good quote, trust me, ill put it here when/if i can find it.

4 - "I've seen this 'government', on this server... Everything to do with government has just been bad so far. (...) I've watched it completely destroy and tear down people's wills, and change people... I've seen it change the nicest people into complete and utter tyrants. So I think it's about time.”

---

okay quotes over now for some common fandom mischaracterisations, since u said u wanted to know cphils character better

1 - bad dad phil this one really gets me. i hate it, genuinely. phil was never and is not a bad dad. im not saying he was perfect, but he was not a bad dad. it is not his fault wilbur went mad, it is not his fault tommy was hurt so much in exile (more on that later), none of this is his fault. phil cares so much about his family and does everything he can for them, he was never neglectful or absent or anything of the sort.

2 - sbi family dynamics THESE HAVE BEEN DECANONISED BY LIKE EVERYONE IN SBI FOR THE DSMP. MULTIPLE TIMES. tommy was never phils son, he was just some kid phils actual son knew. techno is phils old friend, not his son. wilbur, however, is his son

3 - calm collected eloquent father SOMETIMES phil can have good fatherly advice. other times he really fucking does not!! cphil is shit with words, if you want someone whos always expressing their emotion in elegant prose, look at techno, not phil. he tries, he really does, but his perception of normality is warped, and sometimes he just doesnt fucking care?? hes chaotic and fairly independent, and yeah okay he may have taken in TWO stray kids (tubbo, when he was a child, and ranboo after doomsday) but hes not the like. serial adopter some people make him out to be

---

so yeah, thats cphil for you! im more than happy to go into more detail about any of the above things, just ask! that goes for literally anyone btw. ill happily talk about fanon and more fandom characterisations, but ive tried to keep it as close to canon as i can so far. what’s great is that despite what he claims, ccphil is an excellent roleplayer and general storyteller, hes always adding little details and explaining reasoning behind things, so theres so much nuance and so much depth to cphil and the section of the world he inhabits. can you tell that cphil is my favourite character perhaps.

[cheesey-rice]

me when I'm in a Content Absorbing phase: I'm not writing enough :(

me when I'm in a Content Creating phase: I'm not reading enough :(

[transgenderfivepebbles]

on my autism arc rn (nearly broke down writing a singular email) (IT WAS A REPLY)

[stupid-dyke]

If I’d seen that poll 2 years ago I would have written another crossover fanfic and i wonder sometimes if I’m actually denying my true self 🥺

[lovekittylover12345]

The Most Beautiful Person He Had Ever Seen

Hello, all. I made another AU last night.

I had wanted to go to sleep at a good hour.

Guess what I did NOT do?

This thing I wrote? It’s around 13 pages long when using Arial at size 11 font- 5,000 words.

On the font and font size I typically use when writing a chapter, this behemoth is 22 pages long- that's more than 2/3rd of one of my typical chapters.

And you want to know something even more terrifying?

It’s not even done yet.

I won’t be finishing this just yet, nor will I be working on other chapters for a very long time, so I won’t be posting this on archive of our own- enjoy this incomplete work I grinded out on what I can only see as a fantastical event where the stars alined to let me write- just not on my actual current work! Argh…

Feel free to ask any questions- I’ll try my best to answer any that come up. I have a few ideas for where the story could possibly go next, but who knows when I haven’t written it all out yet? Everything could end up veering off into an entirely different direction. 

Shall I also use my first instance of a poll? Hmmm… we’ll see.

Without further ado, here’s what I wrote!

It had been a rather ordinary day- visiting his friend Alphys- when Sans turned to look at a heavily neglected part of her lab to see the most beautiful thing he had ever laid his eyelights on.

He didn’t know why he turned to look- he had never had the inclination to look that way unprompted before, unless Alphys wanted to show him whatever half finished project she was working on at the time. Otherwise- it was simply an unused part of the lab- one that was scantily used or even thought of by anyone- used so infrequently in fact that he often forgot that the dusty curtains his friend and colleague had hung up even hid something behind them.

What came over him? Why did he decide to turn back?

Was something calling him? Something telling him that he would see something that he would never forget?

That he would find himself looking at the first thing other than his brother and his community of other monsters that was just as important- key to his life, even? Something that, once he had, he would never be able to live without?

And, what were the chances- that on this day in particular, when he happened to have an odd urge to look back at that unused part of the lab- there would be something so wondrous- so glorious and lovely- to look at? 

That the curtains that had hung for years without once falling- that just on this day, they would fall, just as he turned?

He did not know- and at the time, he did not realize that he would ever even think about the possibilities besides as a quick, passing thought when it first happened.

But now…

He prayed to whatever god made that tiny, infinitesimally small chance occur- thanking them so heartily and insistently that a casual observer probably would have thought he was an extremely devout believer.

Thank you- thank you! You- whoever you are- you glorious bastard! Thank you so- so much! I don’t know who you are- and I doubt you even care, or even exist- but if you do…

Thank you.

Just what was it that Sans saw, in that musty, dark and cramped corner of the lab?

“Oh, th- the curtain! O-oh well… seems I’ll have to put it back up later- but- t-that’s not important! You- you’ve seen her, haven’t you?!”

Alphys rushed towards the curtain, ripping the rest of it down- now revealing that thing in its full glory. 

“Oh- isn’t she just such a cutie?!”

Alphys let out the squeal of a fangirl, delighting in showing off what she had found to her friend. 

As Sans gazed at the thing in front of him, He found himself having more difficulty controlling his expression than usual. It seems that Alphys picked up on this- as well as the question he was about to ask- although it seems she opted to pretend she didn’t see the former.

“Where…”

“W-Where did I find her? I-I found her in a dump! It seems that humans have been using Mt. Ebott as a dumping ground for things they’ve decided to discard for a while now- and such a waste in this case, too! W-who would throw away an almost fully functioning robot?!”

Sans half nodded.

“A robot…”

“Mind you- S-she’s was so badly damaged when I found her- pieces of her just strewn about everywhere- body parts almost completely severed and twisted in many places- t-the circuitry was completely shot- most of the delicate wiring was completely chopped to bits and looked like those noodles I just love to eat- haha… ha. And- and some of those wires- just straight fried! Not just that- the list goes on and on- now… that I think about it- maybe calling her an almost fully functioning robot is a bit of a stretch on my part- but I know y-you get what I mean!”

Alphy’s seemed to simmer down a bit then, becoming more contemplative- sad, almost.

“You know… to be honest- when I found her, with her head sticking out of all that garbage- I really thought I had just stumbled on a human body… There- in those dumps near monster territory- our homes- a.. A murder scene! I was almost afraid of what would happen if I approached her… as if- s-some human boogeyman was going to- pop out- from behind a nearby pile and accuse me of m-murder!” 

She grabbed her shoulders with her arms, shivering slightly.

“T-to be honest… the thought of it- it still terrifies me. What would have happened if she really was a human body…”

Sans was able to recover a bit from his stupor, quickly moving to comfort his friend, giving her a pat on the shoulder.

“Hey, don’t worry about it! We might have gotten into a human-gous amount of trouble if that really did happen, but it didn’t. But I promise, if it did, I and the others would have helped you out- no matter what. I and the others always will.”

Alphys gave a gleeful smile, trying to resist laughing at her friend’s corny joke- but failed horribly.

“Haha! Really… Thanks for that Sans- with what's going on right now, t-that really means a lot. I-I mean it- and… I’d do the same for you.”

Quickly, the pair turned back towards the robot, where Alphys quickly regained her train of thought as the pair began to walk closely to marvel at the robot up close.

“I was able to repair her only just recently- all the bells and whistles- power supply, wiring is spotless, perhaps my best job yet- circuitry repaired or replaced where necessary- and yet- she still won’t turn on… I just can’t seem to figure out why.”

Alphys pointed to each part, explaining what she was able to learn about each thing- their functions, possible hiccups or mistakes she could have made, and even hypothetical upgrades to increase the performance in the future. 

Sans listened dutifully as his friend nerded out- and in his mind, he was too.

He thought carefully about each individual part- even having Alphys move the body around on the table and open up parts of it for a better look. The wiring? Impeccable- truly the best wiring job of Alphys’s he had ever seen, and he knew how hard a project Mettaton was. The circuitry? Although he didn’t necessarily understand what each part was supposed to do, he trusted his friend knew- everything he saw on that front was solid work- no glaring flaws. Each part he checked was exactly how they should be- until he came upon the power supply.

When Alphys showed him what she said was the power supply, he had no idea what he was looking at- it looked nothing like anything he had ever seen- and certainly not Alphys’s work. It was located deep in the robot’s upper back, wedged in behind the spine- near where the heart and lungs would be on a human. Not having any way to look inside what looked to be a hard outer casing, Sans found himself trying to make sense of just what he was looking at.

“This is the power supply? Is that really what I’m looking at right now?”

Alphy’s shakily nodded.

“Y-yes.”

“This- this isn’t your work, is it? Was it already a part of her? How do you even know it’s working-”

“-no- no! I’m certain of it- it’s the one other part left still perfectly intact!”

…other? 

No… focus- I’ll get the answers soon, I’m sure.

Alphys had interjected quickly, in a manner that showed to Sans that she was extremely worried about the current conversation. Not wanting to stress out his jittery friend further, he waited patiently for her to explain.

“Y-you see… I ran some diagnostics and- those wires, you see those? I hooked those up to the supply directly and- There- well… the test I ran showed that whatever powers this- this thing- no no, this girl- It can hold charge just fine- I-in fact- uh… well… you see- this power supply- it already is running! Just… just… it just isn’t running anywhere else… f-for some reason!”

Sans noticed Alphys’s eyes darting to and fro, the signs that she was beginning to panic, and very much so. Not to mention that she was starting to sweat on her brow- and her tail, which was normally still, was swishing to and fro across the ground, too- something that only happened when she was either extremely excited or extremely stressed. He could already tell that there was something she was hesitant to tell him about, but he just couldn’t fathom what it could be.

What could be making her so nervous? And the power supply is on? could it be that what is worrying her has something to do with that? What does all of this mean?

“Well, if whatever is inside that power supply is faulty, why don’t you just open it up and check? Or, why not just take it out and replace it with something else? You were able to get Mettaton’s power supply working just fine, so why couldn't you do the same here? I’m certain you would be able to-”

She vigorously shook her head- taking a quick moment to adjust her glasses with her shaking hands, before hesitantly yet adamantly responding.

“-No! I-I can’t. I-I couldn’t possibly- i-if I messed up- s-she could! Y-you don’t- y-you haven’t seen the scans!”

Sans could sense that she was beginning to have a nervous breakdown- he tried his best to reach her with his voice.

“Alphys, please- I can’t help you if you don’t help me understand- just what did you see when you performed a scan? Did you see something inside the power supply? Is it dangerous?”

She continued to mumble to herself, speaking quickly as she began to bite on her nails.

“I-It was unlike- a-anything I had ever seen- I just couldn't possibly- w-what could I do? An alternate power supply transfer might work- b-b-but I don’t know how much power she needs to- I-If I messed up! S-she could-”

Sans took her shoulders with his hands, giving her a gentle shake, snapping her back to reality.

“Alphys- I get that whatever you saw has you worried- please just let me know what you saw, so I can help you find a solution! I promised you, right? That I would help you? I need you to trust that together we can find a solution. Alright?”

Alphys, regaining her composure, relaxed her body, took a deep few breaths, and nodded her head.

“It was… when I ran those scans.”

He nodded his head, letting her know that he was listening, and that she could continue.

“Well, to be truthful Sans… what I said before? Well… it- no- she- she isn’t just a robot.”

Sans was curious but was carefully keeping his same old expression, not wanting to put any undue pressure on his friend.

She always seems to address the robot in a manner similar to how she would Mettaton- why is that?

“I’m listening.”

“Well… when I was attempting to find out what was inside the power supply, I did a ton of different tests- and I mean it- a ton! Countless times and countless different ideas to find a way to see past whatever metal this protective layer was made out of-” she used her knuckles to knock on the metal she was referring to slightly, “And let me tell you, this metal is practically indestructible! Not that that mattered anyway- I didn’t want to in any way risk the integrity of the power supply- so- I tried everything to sneak a peek at what is hidden inside this shell- and… nothing. Nothing worked- no matter what I tried, I couldn't see anything conclusive.”

Sensing that she was not yet done, Sans gave another prompting.

“Go on.”

“But… on one of those scans- well, I accidentally included some of her neck and the bottom of her skull in the range. And to my surprise, I could actually see inside! I took another scan right then and there! And what I saw… oh stars… I know you’re not gonna believe me on this, but you’ve gotta trust me when I say I didn’t initially believe it either. how do I put this…”

Alphys seemed to be thinking very heavily, even scrunching up her brow muscles enough that Sans feared she would give herself a tension headache. Finally, she seemed to have decided on what to say- or perhaps it was that she had gotten the resolve she needed to speak on what she saw.

“Sans…inside that girl’s skull is something akin to a human brain.”

Before Sans could even respond or react, Alphys rushed to give clarification.

“Of course- they are in no way the same- They are similar in structure for sure, yes- but her brain is not made of any biological matter from what I can tell.”

She scrambled to turn the table holding the robot in place, allowing Sans to see the back of the robot’s dainty looking neck. The back panel had already been removed during their analysis, and Alphys’s familiar wiring was peaking back at them, as it had before. However, when Alphys began to push some of it aside, Sans found himself looking at a far thicker, more metallic looking wire, one that could more reasonably be called a cord- one that undoubtedly ran down into the power supply. With the context of what Alphys said she saw, the part of the cord that went up the neck and out of sight likely went directly into the robot’s brain- that is, if that really is what it was. 

But, a brain? Really? If that really is the truth- could this thing really even be considered a robot?!

Then…

The way Alphys has been referring to it..

No..

To her- this was of referring to her-

-it was because of what she saw…

“Then the reason you feared touching the power supply is because…”

Alphys took another deep breath before responding.

“Y-yes. Currently, the only thing her power supply is transferring power to is the…”

“The brain?”

Alphys nodded.

“Another yes, I’m afraid. This really would have been so much more simple if the power supply allowed itself to transfer power to more than just her brain- but, I honestly can’t blame it for what it is doing right now. From what I can see, the only thing keeping her… well, keeping her ‘alive,’ so to speak- is the fact that her brain is constantly being powered by her power supply.”

Sans scratched his head. 

“I see why you were so worried- especially because we have no idea what that power supply is even running on right now. For all we know, it could turn off mid conversation- and that would be that!”

Alphys gave Sans a glare.

“Stars sans- don’t say that! I didn’t even consider that possibility- oh no- what if you’re right- and it- and it-”

“-it won’t. She has almost certainly been in that dump for a very long time- I’m sure that, considering that the power supply and that cord is made out of a metal you’ve never even seen before, it can surely handle powering that brain just as it always has. Now… we just have to figure out how to coax it to power everything else…”

Alphys clutched her head, tapping her foot. Her tail thumped quietly along with her foot- showing to me that she was really thinking hard.

At least it isn’t swishing anymore- she isn’t nearly as stressed right now, and she doesn’t seem to have tired out, which is good.

Wait…

‘Tired out.’

Could it be? 

“Alphys…”

Alphys turned her head towards Sans Inquisitively.

“Yes?”

Sans’s expression shifted slightly- yet more than it had in front of anyone else other than him in the mirror. His face, practically sparkling with excitement, almost took Alphys aback.

“Alphys, have you perhaps considered that maybe the power supply required more than just electricity to power the whole body? Did you do any tests to check for magic at all?! Perhaps the power supply is low on its other fuel source!”

Alphys’s eyes grew wide, and soon, her face too was full of gleeful excitement. 

“No- I haven't! I never even considered- I thought that humans would never use such a thing to power their machines- but it is definitely possible with all that we’ve seen- Sans! That is such a good idea! I’ll run a diagnostic on it right away!”

Sans and Alphys rushed to uncover the tools needed to perform the diagnostics, with Alphys rushing to turn on the machines- as the pair waited for everything to boot up and get ready, the pair both squealed with anticipation- Sans inwardly, and Alphys outwardly.

As soon as the machines were ready, Alphys got them running as soon as she could. Soon, the dark corner of the room that had not seen light in some time was now bathed in the light of the diagnostic. Little robots excited their cubbyholes and began to hover around the area of the girl’s current resting place like flies, carefully scanning the whole body for any traces of magic.

Both waited with baited breath, until, surprisingly quickly, they got their result.

“There's….”

The pair looked at the screen.

“MAGIC DETECTION SCAN: TRACES OF MAGIC DETECTED.”

“Oh- oh my! I never thought- and look! Right there!”

Alphys pointed to the computer screen, zooming in on the robot’s power supply. Compared to the limbs, which had only a faint glow on the screen, signifying that there were only faint traces of magic found- likely from when the robot was still operational- however long ago that was- the power supply was quite the opposite.

“T-there’s something in the core f-for sure- a-and whatever it is- it’s lit up like a Giftmas tree!”

Sans looked at the robot’s body again- and it was then that an idea came into his mind.

Part of the power supply seems to be different than the rest- more protected- like a core. But something tells me that the way to get it to open is more straightforward than it appears!

“Alphys- I have an idea on how to get her to wake up- It’s gonna require me to have a way to directly touch that power supply- likely from the back. Can you get her on her front for me?”

Alphys, delighted to see that Sans had an idea of what to do, was quick to do as asked.

“Of course!”

She turned the robot easily, as if it was as light as a feather. That raised questions in Sans’s head about just what the robot was made out of, but he set that question aside to be answered later.

When Alphys turned the robot to her back, it was exactly as Sans had thought- there seemed to be a spot on the back- between the soft groves that made up the girl's spine- that looked like it could be opened. 

How yet, he wasn't quite sure, but he had a pretty good idea.

As he came closer to the robot, he realized that he had not as of yet actually touched any part of the robot’s body- for some reason, this realization embarrassed him far more than he thought it should have.

Was it because of his thoughts upon initially seeing the robot for the first time?

Or was it because, even now, it was almost as if he was feeling… enamored with her? 

The thoughts only made his hesitation to touch the robot even worse- he almost felt like smacking himself for even thinking such things, but he didn’t want to give away his discomfort to his friend. Sans knew Alphys would tease him relentlessly if she found out that the first thing he ever felt attracted to was a robot- and one that looked like a human of all things! 

A human. 

The first person I have ever thought of in that manner- something that currently looks like the most beautiful thing in the world to me- and it’s a robot that looks like a human? Is something wrong with me?! I must be going crazy! 

And- I shouldn't be thinking these sorts of things about a person who is completely unaware and defenseless- she’s sleeping for god's sake!

He quickly quelled all thoughts on the matter, deciding to think on it another time.

Perhaps when she wakes up…

Wait- there I go again! Ugh- damn it…

“Sans?”

Alphys’s voice helped him quickly recover his wits- allowing him to remain looking perpetually unbothered, as he always did.

“Don’t worry, I got it- I was just thinking about what I need to do.”

“And what do you need to do?”

Sans came closer to the robot and carefully examined her back one more time before finally finding the courage to take the next step.

Gently, his skeletal hands trailed her spine, carefully pushing up her hair out of his way. He was surprised to find that her hair was soft, but he tried his best to not think about it too much. He just knew that if he continued that line of thinking, he would end up with a flushed blue face- and he never wanted Alphys to see him embarrassed- he was certain her first reaction would be to tease him.

As his hands touched the grooves of each metal vertebrae, he was able sense it- and just where he expected. Although Alphys knew a little bit about Sans’s full power, she did not know everything- like, for example, that his magical aptitude was far greater than he made it seem. His phalanges could feel magic buzzing, almost like…

No- there’s no way that can be right- maybe this time I’m wrong.

I…

I hope to the stars above that I’m wrong.

Because if I’m not…

Maybe this really was a murder.

Just under the buzzing, he was able to trace a small, discrete panel- and the fact that that panel most certainly had to be opened with magic.

“Well Alphys? This is what I need to do- you might want to cover your eyes for this one.”

As soon as he spoke, he began to fill the room with magic- so much magic in fact, that wind began to form, pushing everything back. The flaps of his coat moved back and forth quickly, as did the billowing parts of Alphys’s lab coat- anything not held down began to fly back violently, including the curtains that had once hidden away the seldom used corner from sight. 

“Whoa- sans! You shouldn't do too much- you know what could happen!”

As sans continued to pour out the blue tinted magic that caused the robot’s metallic sheen to reflect bright light, he responded as casually as one would to an invitation for lunch.

“Nah- you worry too much. I’m fine- this much is easy.”

As Sans continued to pour magic into the robot, he watched as her back began to open, finally revealing what was inside. In less than a second, he stopped his magic, staring down at what he saw in shock. When he unconsciously reached to touch it, he found that the casing protecting it shocked him- only further leaving him with confusion and dread.

That shock I felt- why now? 

Now of all times- and with this robot of all people? 

What human would ever think to use… could this be considered one of their own?

I just can’t fathom it- who would have thought that humans would have made something similar to Mettaton?!

Why am I seeing what I’m seeing right now?

Is this even happening? Is this another one of my nightmares?

I just… 

I don't understand.

As Alphys quickly came beside him and took a peak at what had been so carefully protected within the casing of the power source, she too fell silent, in shock at what she saw.

Much of the inside- especially lower down on the contraption- was full of those same sort of metallic cables that they had already seen before, with each one connecting to some part of the body- legs, arms, and head- like the veins of a human. They were even able to see what gave the power source its electricity, with some sort of contraption- completely alien to them- seen, full of glowing white and golden light. 

But the thing that shocked them the most was a small canister oriented up-to-down in the body, found in the place where the human heart would be. It was fastened tightly and connected to the generator’s cables, seemingly using the same lines to transmit its magic to everywhere else.

Inside that canister, bobbing up and down- not in the correct orientation but instead in line with the body’s orientation- was a little, metallic silver soul- one that looked almost synthetic- as if it was made in a lab.

This soul was not angled upside down light that of a monster’s, even if it possessed a similar color to that of one.

No- instead, this soul was angled like that of a human- which could only mean one thing.

“Oh.”     

“O-Oh.”

The pair looked at eachother. Sans watched as Alphys’s face contorted to that of terror and grief. 

“T-That- that can’t be right! Oh Sans- This cannot be- it just can’t!”

“Alphys- please calm down- we need to make sure everything is in place before she wakes up.”

Alphys nodded meekly, as if she had been told to kill someone under the threat of death. She was on the verge of tears and shaking like a leaf, tail and all- Still, she got up and quickly helped Sans fasten all of the pieces they had moved back into place.

Not long after they were complete, The robot seemed to boot up- parts of its body made of that special metal began to light up brightly before dimming to a faint glow, as if she was a computer on the startup screen.  

After the light mostly subsided to that glow, another step seemed to start- very suddenly, the various plated that made up her body rapidly reoriented themselves- shifting back in forth from different shapes and sizes as if the metal that had once been so hard to move was now as soft as dough- seeming to be making the proper features and proportions of the robot as they should have been the whole time. 

No longer was each piece bulky and diagonal- now the body had substantially more curvatures, with each limb now sleeker and proportionally correct. Now the robot’s body seemed to actually have skin- albeit still visibly shiny like metal, but still much more natural looking nonetheless. Parts where bones would be seen from under the skin and other deeper tissues now seemed to hint at bones that were not actually there- an illusion that the two scientists watched with fascination. Her hair remained mostly unchanged, as did some aspects of her body- for example, the fact that the pair did not find it necessary to cover her- as although she did have the proportions of the female body, there was not actually anything to see. 

However, even still, the pair began to realize that although there may have been nothing to see, they were still ogling someone they considered to be a lady- and one without any clothes! 

However, as soon as Alphys thought to go get a sheet to cover the poor girl, another step began.

Rapidly moving pieces came from slits that suddenly appeared in the robot’s body- these pieces quickly moved to begin forming what looked to be a dress- one that covered the parts that a lady would have covered in public- the metal slithered its way across the girl’s body until it had reached all the places it apparently needed to, before those pieces began to form together. The malleable metal took on the colors of multiple other metals, gold and silver being the most prominent- only for the metals to suddenly soften, as if they were transmuted into fabric. The fabric puffed out slightly in some areas, like the bottom and the back, but otherwise stayed rather consistent. It looked just like real fabric- and extremely comfortable too, contrary to what the pair had just seen that fabric start from. 

As if to add a few finishing touches, various decorations in the form of jewelry and other items began to adorn themselves on the robot’s body, including ribbons that moved to put up the girl's hair, a soft looking pair of dress slippers, earrings, and… a choker?

Sans found himself questioning just what sort of person would design a body for a person this way, but he could not complain, given that he apparently shared similar tastes. 

“Oh- she looks like a magical girl- kyah! So kawaii! Look at her- isn’t she just gorgeous?”

The first time I’m attracted to anything, and it’s this?

I really must be more screwed up than I realized- but still, I must admit…

She’s even more of a beauty than before she transformed- and even before then, she was still quite the sight!

“You’re right, Alphys- she really is gorgeous.”

Alphys smirked at him devilishly.

“So you found someone you finally like, huh? Took you long enough!”

Sans, being very good at hiding his expressions, did his best to mislead Alphys from the correct answer that she had just found.

“Not necessarily- I just agreed with you when you said she was pretty. It would be like you agreeing with me that Undyne is strong- that’s just a fact.”

Critical Hit!

“Oh yes- that’s a good point Sans- Undyne is strong! She’s also cool, and she’s got big muscles, and she’s so pretty too- wait… forget I said that part!”

Sans grinned.

“Of course- it is now completely erased from my memory. Though, I strong-ly suggest you get better at resisting the urge to talk about Undyne- You’ve got the urge part, now you just need the resist part!

Mentioning Undyne was enough to distract Alphys from the truth, helping Sans escape from being found out for a while longer.

It seemed that now that the body was complete, she began to stir for the first time since being taken by Alphys out of the dump.

With this wonderful news, Alphys was not able to stay worried for long- after all, their effort had paid off, and the robot was most certainly alive! 

“Oh, look Sans! She’s finally waking up- I’m so glad! This is such good news- I can’t wait to ask her some questions.”

“Me too.”

As the robot moved, she looked shaky- like someone waking after a long sleep. 

It was then that the pair heard her voice- it sounded partially robotic, which did make sense- but other than that robotic sound, her voice was soft, sweet to the ear, and currently, confused.

“Where…”

She moved to fully sit up- and when she did, her eyes fluttered open.

“O-oh my…”

Alphys and Sans looked at the girl’s eyes, which were just too interesting to ignore. Her eyes did look very similar to that of a human, but were the color and sheen of various metals, giving away her man-made nature. Gold, and perhaps platinum in one iris- copper and bronze in the other. Those eyes seemed to not fully be aware of their surroundings- likely because she was not yet fully awake.

“Where… am I?”

As one of her hands moved to her head and the other to the table, she tried to stand- wobbling first, and then nearly falling- however, Sans was quick to catch her.

“It’s alright- I’ve… I’ve got you.”

She really is… so light.

And her dress really is soft- who would have thought a metal would be able to soften like this?

“G-good save Sans! Now, how should we approach this…”

Sans carefully guided the robot back onto the table, where she sat back down.

“Thank… you.”

Once she was sat back down, she looked at the odd pair standing before her with a hint of surprise.

“Who… who are you?”

Sans grinned.

“Well, kiddo? We’re the ones who saved your life.”

---

That’s all I have written for now- and I even added a bit more, to get to a better stopping point. Did you like what you read? Now that I think about it, maybe that should be the subject of my first ever poll! Hmmm… let's see- how do I make one of those? Aha! Got it! Here’s your assignment, dear readers who read to the end! How did you like what you read? And would you want to read more?

I’ll be taking this practice test very seriously- the actual test will be next monday, so be sure you all studied the material! Lol.

Now, it’s time for me to pretend that I’m not a writer again, hiding in my little hobbit room with my blackout curtains, reading webcomics and playing video games- like only the best of the best procrastinators can! Contrary to how it may look, I actually have been busy a good deal- and aside from little things that pop into my head for a bunch of different stories, a lot of which aren’t related to Undertale, I haven’t been able to write what I want at all… 

Let's hope that changes soon- I hope to break out of my Procrastination Chrysalis and finally awaken as a Productive Butterfly! Even if only in my dreams… T^T

A girl can HOPE, right?

[inkskinned]

most writing advice is good as long as you know why it is good, at which point it is also bad. the hardest thing (and most precious thing) about being an artist is that you gotta learn how to take critique. i don't mean "just shut up and accept that people hate your work," i mean you need to learn what the critique is saying and then figure out if it actually helps.

i usually tell people reading my work: "i'm collecting data, so everything is useful." i ask them where they put the book down, even though it's too long for most people to read in 1 sitting. i ask them what they thought of certain characters. i let them tell me it was really good but i like it more when they look a little stunned and say i forgot i was reading your book, which means they forgot i exist, which is very good news.

sometimes people i didn't ask will read my work and tell me i don't like it. and that is okay, you don't have to like it. but i look at the thing that they don't like and try to figure out if i care. i don't like that you don't capitalize. this one is common, and i have already thought about it. i do not care, it's because of chronic pain and frankly i like the little shape of small letters. you use teeth and ribs in all your work. actually that is very true. i don't know what's up with that. next time i will work to figure out a different word, thank you. you're whiny, go outside. someone said that to me recently and it made me laugh. i am on the whine-about-it website as an internet poet. you are in my native habitat, watching me perform a natural enrichment behavior. but i like the dip of whiny, how the word itself does "whine" (up/down, the sound out your nose on the y), but i don't know if i want to feel whiny. maybe next time i will work on it being melancholy, like what you would call a male writer's poetry.

repeated "good" advice clangs in a bell and doesn't hold a real shape, dilutes in the water. like sometimes you will hear "don't use said." you turn that around in your head and it bounces off the edges of your brain like it is a dvd screensaver. it isn't bad advice, but it feels wrong somehow, like saying easy choices are illegal! sometimes i will only use "said." sometimes i will just kick dialogue tags out to the trash. sometimes i make little love poems where the fact that i do not say "said" is very bad, and makes you feel bad in your body, because someone didn't say something. i am a contrary little shitbird, i guess.

but it is also good advice, actually. it is trying to say that "said" sometimes is clutter. it makes new writers think about the very-small words and very-small choices, because actually your work matters and wordchoice matters. "i know," you said. "i know," you sighed. "i know." we both know but neither of us use a dialogue tag, because we are in a contemporary lit piece.

it is too-small to say don't use said. but it is a big command, so it gets your attention. what are you relying on? what easy choices do you make? when you edit, do you choose the same thing? can you make a different choice? sometimes we need the blankness of said, how it slides into the background. sometimes we don't.

i usually say best advice is to read, but i also mean read books you don't like, because that will make you angry enough to write your own book. i also mean read good books, which will break your heart and remind you that you are a very small person and your voice is a seashell. i also mean you need to eat books because reading a book is a writer's version of studying.

my creative writing teacher in the 7th grade had a big red list of no! words and on it was SUNSET. RAZORS. LOVE. GALAXY. DEATH. BLOOD. PAIN. I liked that razor and love were tucked next to each other like birds, and found it funny that he believed we were too young to know the weight of razor in the context of pain. i hated him and his Grateful Dead belt, where the colored teddy bears held up his appraisal of us. i hated his no list. it is very good/bad advice. i wasn't old enough yet to know that when you are writing about death you are also writing about sunsets and when you write about love you are tucking yourself into a napkin that never stops folding.

back then my poetry was all bloody, dripped with agony when you picked it up. i didn't know there is nothing beautiful about a razor, nothing exciting about pain. i just understood sharpness, which he took to mean i understood nothing. i wrote the razor down and it wasn't easy, but it was necessary. that's what i'm saying - sometimes it's good advice, because it's not always necessary. and sometimes it is very bad advice, because writing about it is lifesaving.

hang on my dog was just having a nightmare. i heard that it is a rule not to write about dogs - in my creative writing mfa, my teacher rolled her eyes and said everyone writes a dead dog. the literature streets are littered in canine bodies. i watched the rise and fall of his ribs (there is that word again) and had to reach out and stop the bad dream. when he woke up he didn't recognize me, and he was afraid.

it is good/bad advice to say that poems and writing have to mean something. it is bad/good advice to say they're big feelings in small packages. it is better advice to say that when my dog saw where he was, he relaxed immediately, rubbed his face against me. someone on instagram would make fun of that moment by writing their "internet poetry" as a sentence that tumbles across a white page: outside it is sunset and my dog is still in a gutter, bleeding a galaxy out of his left paw. or maybe it would be: i woke the dog up/the dog forgot i loved him/and i saw the shape of a senseless/and impossible pain.

the dog is alive in this one, and he is happy. when i tell you i love you, i know what i said. write what you need to write, be gentle to yourself about it. the advice is only as good as far as it helps. the rest is just fencing. take stock of the boundaries, and then break them. there's always somewhere else you could be growing.

i love you, keep going.

[pato-roldnart]

I did a little something for @hd-fan-fair 😊😊 I hope you all like pet sitter Harry and wildlife illustrator Draco!!!

Special thanks to @bubble-gumhead, @orange-peony and @avenueofesc for encouraging me to participate, you guys are the best 💕💕💕

Based on this prompt: Draco has received news of a rare magical creature sighting and has been called in to illustrate the animal and it’s natural habitat/den. Only problem is: he can’t find anyone to pet sit his beloved animals and seeks outsider help by hiring a pet sitter through a wizarding company. Enter: Harry James Potter, pet sitter extraordinaire and living his best life hanging out with animals all over Britain, enjoying the vast and interesting towns and houses he finds himself in. Draco, loves his animals so much and asks to have regular contact through letters.

Letter's text after the cut

Dear Potter, I am writing to ask for your help again to take care of my pets. Unfortunately for me, they seem to have grown on you and they have been misbehaving with any other pet sitter. I have no idea why they speak fondly of you and find you so charming. Nevertheless, I was pleased to see that they were in good hands last time.

I hope you have a good rest and enough energy since the next seventy-two hours you will be dealing with their curious, mischievous, and overly friendly nature. Until next time, D. M.

[bad268]

Can you do like a YouTube challenge video with Kimi Antonelli. He doesn’t have enough fics

Stream Starting... (Andrea Kimi Antonelli X Youtuber! Reader)

Fandom: RPF/Formula 2/3

Requested: Clearly (also while I have shit lined up every week through March, I'm back to work so actually writing will be slow lol)

Warnings: none

Pronouns: You/your

W.C. 1331

Summary: Q&A stream with Kimi

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^Pinterest)

“Hello everybody,” you greeted to the camera only to be interrupted by laughing coming from your right side. Your fans had been begging for a video with Kimi for as long as you could remember, so with a little help of begging (definitely not guilt-tripping), you were able to convince him to join you for a live stream. You turned your attention away from the rapidly moving chat to face the person you called yours as you joked, “Can you not, K?”

‘I’m sorry!” He defended as he leaned onto your shoulder with a smile. You could see a faint blush rise onto his cheeks even though he tried his best to hide in your shoulder. “You’re in your element. It’s one thing to hear you from outside the recording room, but it’s another thing to be in here with you while you do it.”

“Now, you know how I feel every time I go with you to a race,” You responded, moving your hand up to twirl some of his curls between your fingers. You moved some of his hair away from his forehead as you gently placed a kiss to the crown of his head before leaning your head against his. “It’s your natural habitat, and I love seeing you in the zone before a race. It’s cute.”

“Is there a reason this is moving faster now?” He asked, pointing at the live chat. You completely forgot that you were still live, entirely wrapped up in your own little world with just you and Kimi. Your wide eyes gave you away, honestly. Kimi looked up at you and began laughing at your expression before moving to sit up, just settling for holding your hand. “I assume that’s something to do with the stream?”

“Yeah, that’s chat,” you explained after getting over the initial shock of forgetting you were live. “It’s in real-time. Well, like a 20-second delay, but it’s about as close to real-time as I can get it.” You pointed out a few more small features of the steam before directing your attention back to the camera. “Anyway, now that we’ve gotten past the brief delay, I can tell you what we’re doing! If you can read, you can read the title of this stream, and if you can’t read, no problem! We are painting portraits of each other while answering your questions!”

“You did not tell me we were painting,” Kimi groaned. “I’m not creative enough for that.”

“Oh, trust me,” you laughed in response, “we’re finger painting, so they’ll both look bad!”

“Oh, great,” he chuckled as he jokingly rolled his eyes before helping you set up the tarp, paints, and canvases. He laid them out so that everything was facing each other as you adjusted the camera, so you would both be in the frame and you would see the questions easily. “Does this meet your standards?”

“You say that like I am some perfectionist,” you mumbled as you took your seat in front of Kimi. You both started your portraits of each other, so you would have a base before moving into the questions. “Okay, first question, ‘why do you stay with me?’ Ouch.”

“Your fans suck,” he laughed. “You’re everything to me, that’s why.”

“Ah, you’re a sap, ti amo (I love you),” you giggled as you looked for another question. “Oh, this one’s fun, ‘how did you meet?’ Well, I moved to Italy when I was really young and we met at boarding school.”

“No, you are forgetting a key detail, amore (love),” Kimi chastised as he shook his red-colored finger at you with a smile. “You ran into me on your way to class and spilled your coffee all over both of us!”

“Hey! You said you would never mention that!” You gasped as your gaze snapped up to meet his. In mock offense, you took a little bit of the paint that was in your palm and planted it on his cheek, laughing at his shocked expression.

“You’re going to regret that,” he jokingly threatened.

“Oh, will I?” You teased back, almost challenging him. You did not think he would do much. Maybe put paint on your face in a similar manner, but you did not expect him to literally throw a glob of paint straight at your face. Your jaw dropped as you wiped away some of the paint, unsure whether to laugh or be upset, but the smile on his face made you laugh along with him. “Oh, so that’s how this is?”

“You started it, let’s not forget that,” Kimi tried to defend as he put his hands up in mock defense. “I was just making it even.”

“So if I tried to kiss you now, what would you do?” You asked, leaning over your canvas to get closer to him. Kimi seemed confused at first but still moved forward to meet you halfway. When he was close enough, you smeared the leftover paint that you had wiped off your face across his. “There. Now we’re even.”

“I am gonna get you back for this,” Kimi chuckled lowly, “Just wait for it.”

“Anyway, moving on,” you pressed, switching topics as you looked back at the chat before going back to the portrait of Kimi, “Are we always this chaotic?”

“Yes, next question,” Kimi responded immediately, not even looking up from his canvas.

“Thought so,” you said to yourself as you looked through the messages, trying to find a good question. “Ooo, ‘are you both going to be at preseason testing?’ Obviously, he is, but I don’t think I have the attention span to sit around a race track for four hours a day.”

“Hey! You promised you would go with me this year!” Kimi whined. “You said you would drop everything to travel with me.”

“Four hours for three days straight in Bahrain does not sound that appealing to me,” you chucked as you shrugged your shoulders, still not meeting his eyes. “I’ll be there for the first race week, but I doubt I’ll be there for preseason testing.”

“I’ll buy you something,” Kimi offered. This piqued your interest as your head snapped up to meet his eyes as he laughed. “Merch, food, coffee, tea, games. You name it, and I’ll get it.”

“What if I want someone to hang out with?” You countered with a smirk.

“I will try my best. Who do you want?” Kimi asked, genuinely curious.

“Paul,” you laughed. “I need my Mamma Mia buddy!”

“Absolutely not!” Kimi shouted. “I am not subjecting myself to that torture again!”

“You would be in the car, Kimi!” You retorted as you pushed all of the art supplies to the side, so you could sit directly in front of Kimi and hold his hands. “You wouldn’t even have to hear our nonsense. We’d just be vibing.”

“How do I know you won’t talk Rene into putting you both on the radio?” Kimi asked genuinely as he gave you a pointed look, knowing that would be something you would do.

“You have my word,” you said, jokingly putting your hand up in a salute, “Scout’s honor!”

“It’s times like this that I really question why I’m with you,” Kimi admitted with a sigh as he whipped off his hands and pulled out his phone to text Paul.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” you joked leaning over to leave a small kiss on his paint-covered cheek. “If I don’t keep you on your toes, I am not doing my job right!”

You turned your attention to the camera to wrap up the video as Kimi stepped out of the room to call, who you assumed was, Paul. “Anyways, that’s all for this for now. Guaranteed, we’ll do this again. Maybe with less of a paintball match, but yeah. We’ll post the final products on my Instagram later. Follow that if you don’t already, and I will see most of you in the next stream! Bye!”

~~~~~

© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[the-milk-monarch]

Aquarium Date HCs for Connor and Ralph (separately) I love sea life so I love the idea of pointing out different fish to my fictional crushes :0 (maybe just date hcs in general tho??)

☣︎ hell yeah phish and first dbh ask 👏🙌 Sorry in case they're OOC or I got some fish trivia wrong. I'm not an expert lol btw I love to do the same, just with dog breeds ✌ I wanted to write general dating headcanons as well, but I didn't want the post to be too all over the place, so feel free to ask for more if you liked this rendition of the boys

【 AQUARIUM DATE 】 ☢︎ | gender-neutral reader ☢︎ | Detroit Become Human ☢︎ | Connor | Ralph

【 Connor 】

Since he used to be a working android and didn't have a lot free will while not being a deviant, Connor liked going out with you a lot.

He was never interested in fish, but when you mentioned going to the aquarium he was a bit curious.

"Hm, the aquarium? Yeah, I'd like to go." He said as he looked at you with attentiveness in his eyes.

You were excited to point out each and every fish to him, although you were a bit worried Connor would be able to just- search the internet and get to know everything about them from the start.

He was a grade A android and detective after all.

You hoped he wouldn't get bored of you rambling about it.

As you arrived to the fancy building, Connor took notice of the big glass tunnel.

He didn't comment anything, but you could see that he looked at the fish that swam above his head with curiosity

"That's a nurse shark." You pointed out with a slightly excited smile as you noticed the creature swim behind the glass. Connor looked the way you pointed, raising his brow with calm interest. "Ginglymostoma cirratum. The elasmobranch fish in the family Ginglymostomatidae." He came up with the info on the spot. He knew you were interested in the topic, so he wanted to impress and relate to you. You chuckled softly at his "knowledge" as you lightly punched him in the shoulder. "Hey- I'm supposed to be the fish expert here." You lightheartedly pointed out. "Right. Of course, tell me more then. I'd love to listen." He quickly let you take the scene. You smiled at his mindfulness. "This one's a pilchard. But more commonly known as, well, sardine. The same one you can buy at the market." You came up with more information as you observed Connor listening to you diligently. "It's interesting to actually see them swim in their natural habitat. At least, as natural as you can get." He mentioned lightheartedly. "Yeah. Like, people eat those." You said playfully, watching him smile at your comment.

Time went by quick as you pointed out a lot of fancy and regular fish that appeared near you, excited with each new one that showed on your radar.

Connor loved listening to you express yourself about the thing you were passionate about.

You previously had some worries about him getting bored while you were there, but he never shown a sign of annoyance.

But it couldn't be further from the truth, he was looking at you with never ending curiosity.

Time came for you to visit the touchpool.

"Can you actually touch the fish?" Connor looked at the pool, raising his brow calmly. You chuckled slightly. "Yes. That's what it's for. Go on. Touch the starfish." Connor looked at the water one more time before gently placing his hand inside. You could see the flow of emotions on his face as the invertebrate made contact with his cyberskin. It showed curiosity, then confusion, then a bit of- disgust? He took his hand out slowly, but you could see a bit of aversion in his movement. "Did you not like it?" You asked with a silly smile on your face. "It was- interesting. But i'd rather not touch it again." He commented with fake professionalism, trying to hide his distaste towards the feeling. It made you giggle. "Really? That bad? Aren't you used to touching dead bodies and stuff?" You asked amused. "I am. But that's different. Somehow, this creature seems to- somehow get me. In a bad way." He explained. The fact that Connor, the android who was used to far much worse things than you could survive through, was disgusted by the little starfish made you giggle. "Alright, you don't gotta touch it. But I'll tell you some interesting facts about it instead." You suggested, smiling at him. "Yeah, that sounds good." The corners of his lips turned up as he reciprocated the calm smile.

Connor spent rest of the day with you talking his ear off, but he didn't mind in the slightest, and even asked you for elaboration and more facts on some fish he found interesting with.

He reminisces the trip with you there very fondly, although he gets a bit annoyed when you sometimes tease him about the starfish incident.

In a lighthearted way of course.

【 Ralph 】

He was a bit hesitant to go somewhere where there's a lot of people at first.

His fear of humans still persisted, but it was greatly lessened when he got you in your life.

Although he's still shy and a bit anxious in public.

Nonetheless, when you told him what an aquarium is, he was a bit curious.

You reassured him that if anything happens, you will leave.

He nodded a bit unsure, but he trusted you'd make the right call, so he agreed.

He was very fidgety and anxious at first, but his demeanor changed once he saw the colorful creatures.

Ralph was never in a place with so many different kinds of fish before!

He was probably even more excited than you when he got into the zone.

You tried to pick the rooms with less or zero people around so Ralph would feel more comfortable.

But after he got mesmerized by the fishies, his fear was kinda skimmed over.

He did get scared by a moray eel though.

"Ralph does not like that fish!" He pointed out, upset at the scary monster behind the glass. You laughed softly. "It's a moray eel." "Ralph does not like moray eels." He repeated with a frown, although he was still slightly curious about it. In like a car-crash type of way. You looked around the tank, wanting to find some "nicer" fish to show him. "How about this one?" You pointed out at the sea horse. He looked at it with interest, tilting his head a little, which you thought was very adorable. "Hm... Ralph likes this one better." He said with conviction with made you chuckle slightly. "The males actually carry the eggs." You came up with a random trivia about them. It was actually a decently known fact about them, but Ralph being Ralph obviously didn't know it. "Huh?" He tilted his head once more. "It's to ensure their survival. Both mom and dad work together." You pointed out some more nerdy facts with a smile as you observed his reaction. "Hm... Ralph thinks the seahorses are nice." He came up to the glass, putting his hands on it to get a better view. "And interesting!"

After he got a bit more comfortable being t the aquarium, he would run around the place, following the fishes that swam above his head in the tunnel and ask you about them.

"What's that fish called? And that? And those small ones? Oh, what about that big one!" He pointed out lots of different types, making you a bit lost with answering as his questions were so quickly coming.

He's the type to just- poke the glass.

He's curious, you can't blame him.

He'll stop if you tell him to, though.

If there's a petting pool he must see it.

Tell him how to interact with it beforehand though, as he might get a bit- rough with his touches.

"Ralph put that stingray down!" You were horrified when you noticed him holding the poor creature by the tail. He flinched and dropped it back into the water. "Ralph is sorry- Ralph was just curious-" He said apologetically, putting hands closer to his chest in a nervous manner. "It's- It's okay Ralph, you can try just- petting it. Like that." You reached out your hand to touch the stingray that was swimming by. Ralph looked at you and tried to do the same. "O-okay, Ralph will try." He giggled when his sensors felt the skin of the animal brush against his fingers.

You didn't know what to expect at the aquarium, whether Ralph would like it at all, but you were positively surprised when he wanted to stick around more, even after the workers told you it's gonna close soon.

Overall, he was very excited, and wouldn't mind going there again.

Please tell him more fish facts at home.

[bonefall]

Don’t know if this is the right place to ask, but could you talk more about zoos? I’ve seen many people say that zoos are inherently exploitative and that we should instead focus on advocating for wildlife preserves, etc., but I’m not sure what to think of that. You seem to know a lot about wildlife protection, so what’s your opinion on this?

There are folks faaaar better than myself to talk about the issues of zoos specifically and I'll try to toss in some sources so you can go and learn more, but let me try and explain my mindset here.

Summary of my opinion on this: BOTH of these things can be poorly managed, and I broadly support both. They should exist in tandem. I am pro-accredited zoo and am extremely sensitive towards misinformation. I also do think the best place for animals to be is in their natural environment, but nature "preserves" aren't inherently perfect. They can also be prone to the capitalist (and colonialist) pressures that less informed people believe they're somehow immune to.

Because of the goal of my project being to make the setting of WC accurate to Northwestern England, my research is based on UK laws, ecology, and conservation programs.

On Zoos

On Nature Reserves

An Aside on Fortress Conservation

On Zoos

The legal definition of a Zoo in the UK (because that is what BB's ecological education is based around), as defined by the Zoo Licensing Act of 1981 (ZLA), is a "place where wild animals are kept for exhibition to the public," excluding circuses and pet shops (which are covered by different laws.)

This applies equally to private, for-profit zoos, as well as zoos run by wildlife charities and conservation organizations. Profit does not define a zoo. If there's a place trying to tell you it's not a zoo but a "sanctuary" or a "wildlife park," but you can still go visit and see captive wild animals, even if it's totally free, it's a marketing trick. Legally that is still a zoo in the UK.

(for fellow Americans; OUR definition is broader, more patchwork because we are 50 little countries in a trenchcoat, and can include collections of animals not displayed to the public.)

That said, there's a HUGE difference between Chester Zoo, run by the North of England Zoological Society, which personally holds the studbooks for maintaining the genetic diversity of 10 endangered species, has 134 captive breeding projects, cultivates 265 threatened plant species, and sends its members as consultants to United Nations conferences on climate change, and Sam Tiddles' Personal Zebra Pit.

Sam Tiddles' Personal Zebra Pit ONLY has to worry about the UK government. There's another standard zoos can hold themselves to if they want to get serious about conservation like Chester Zoo; Accreditation. There are two major zoo organizations in the UK, BIAZA and EAZA.

(Americans may wonder about AZA; that's ours. AZA, EAZA, and BIAZA are all members of the World Association of Aquariums and Zoos, or WAZA, but they are all individual organizations.)

A zoo going for EAZA's "accreditation" has to undergo an entire year of evaluation to make sure they fit the strict standards, and renewal is ongoing. You don't just earn it once. You have to keep your animal welfare up-to-date and in compliance or you will lose it.

The benefit of joining with an accredited org is that it puts the zoo into a huge network of other organizations. They work together for various conservation efforts.

There are DOZENS of species that were prevented from going extinct, and are being reintroduced back to their habitats, because of the work done by zoos. The scimitar-horned oryx, takhi, California condor, the Galapagos tortoise, etc. Some of these WERE extinct in the wild and wouldn't BE here if it hadn't been for zoos!

The San Diego zoo is preventing the last remaining hawaiian crows from embracing oblivion right now, a species for which SO LITTLE of its wild behavior is known they had to write the book on caring for them, and Chester zoo worked in tandem with the Uganda Wildlife Authority to provide tech and funding towards breakthroughs in surveying wild pangolins.

Don't get me wrong;

MOST zoos are not accredited,

nor is accreditation is REQUIRED to make a good zoo,

nor does it automatically PROVE nothing bad has happened in the zoo,

There are a lot more Sam Tiddles' Personal Zebra Pits than there are Chester Zoos.

That's worth talking about! We SHOULD be having conversations on things like,

Is it appropriate to keep and breed difficult, social megafauna, like elephants or cetaceans? What does the data say? Are there any circumstances where that would be okay, IF the data does confirm we can never provide enough space or stimulation to perfectly meet those species' needs?

How can we improve animal welfare for private zoos? Should we tighten up regulations on who can start or run one (yes)? Are there enough inspectors (no)?

Do those smaller zoos meaningfully contribute to better conservation? How do we know if they are properly educating their visitors? Can we prove this one way or the other?

Who watches the watchmen? Accreditation societies hold themselves accountable. Do these organizations truly have enough transparency?

(I don't agree with Born Free's ultimate conclusion that we should "phase out" zoos, but you should always understand the opposing arguments)

But bottom line of my opinion is; Good zoos are deeply important, and they have a tangible benefit to wildlife conservation. Anyone who tries to tell you that "zoos are inherently unethical" either knows very little about zoos or real conservation work, or... is hiding some deeper, more batshit take, like "having wild animals in any kind of captivity is unlawful imprisonment."

(you'll also get a lot more work done in regulating the exotic animal trade in the UK if you go after private owners, btw. zoos have nothing to do with how lax those laws are.)

Anyway I'm a funny cat blog about battle kitties, and the stuff I do for BB is to educate about the ecosystem of Northern England. If you want to know more about zoos, debunking misconceptions, and critiques from someone with more personal experience, go talk to @why-animals-do-the-thing!

Keep in mind though, again, they talk about American zoos, where this post was written with the UK in mind.

(and even then, England specifically. ALL UK members and also the Isle of Man have differences in their laws.)

(If anyone has other zoo education tumblr blogs in mind, especially if they are European, lmk and I'll edit this post)

On Nature Reserves

Remember how broad the legal definition of a zoo actually was? Same thing over here. A "nature reserve" in the UK is a broad, unofficial generic term for several things. It doesn't inherently involve statutory protection, either, meaning there's some situations where there's no laws to hold anyone accountable for damage

These are the "nature reserve" types relevant to my project; (NOTE: Ramsar sites, SACs, and SPAs are EU-related and honestly, I do not know how Brexit has effected them, if at all, so I won't be explaining something I don't understand.)

Local Wildlife Site (LWS) Selected via scientific survey and managed locally, connecting wildlife habitats together and keeping nature close to home. VERY important... and yet, incredibly prone to destruction because there aren't good reporting processes in place. Whenever a report comes out every few years, the Wildlife Trust says it often only gets data for 15% of all their registered sites, and 12% get destroyed in that timeframe.

Local Nature Reserve (LNR) A site that can be declared by a district or county council, if proven to have geographic, educational, biodiversity, or recreational value. The local authority manages this, BUT, the landowner can remain in control of the property and "lease" it out (and boy oh boy, landowners do some RIDICULOUS things)

National Nature Reserve (NNR) This is probably closest to what you think of when someone says "nature reserve." Designated by Natural England to protect significant habitat ranges and geographic formations, but still usually operates in tandem with private land owners who must get consent if they want to do something potentially damaging to the NNR.

Site of Special Scientific Interest (SSSI) (pronounced Triple S-I) A conservation designation for a particular place, assessed and defined by Natural England for its biological or geographic significance. SSSIs are protected areas, and often become the basis for NNRs, LNRs, Ramsar sites, SACs, SPAs, etc.

So you probably noticed that 3/4 of those needed to have the private ownership problem mentioned right in the summary, and it doesn't end there. Even fully government-managed NNRs and SSSIs work with the private sectors of forestry, tourism, and recreation.

We live under Capitalism; EVERYTHING has a profit motive, not just zoos.

I brushed over some of those factors in my Moorland Research Notes and DESPERATELY tried to stay succinct with them, but it was hard. The things that can happen to skirt around the UK's laws protecting wildlife could make an entire season of Monty Python sketches.

Protestors can angrily oppose felling silver birch (a "weed" in this context which can change the ecosystem) because it made a hike less 'pretty' and they don't understand heath management.

Management can be reluctant to ban dogs and horses for fear of backlash, even as they turn heath to sward before our eyes.

Reserves can be owned by Count Bloodsnurt who thinks crashing through the forest with a pack of dogs to exhaust an animal to death is a profitable traditional British passtime.

Or you can literally just pretend that you accidentally chased a deer for several hours and then killed it while innocently sending your baying hounds down a trail. (NOTE: I am pro-hunting, but not pro-animal cruelty.)

The Forestry Commission can slobber enthusiastically while replacing endangered wildlife habitats with non-native, invasive sitka spruce plantations, pretending most trees are equal while conveniently prioritizing profitable timber species.

I have STORIES to tell about the absolute Looney Tunes bullshit that's going on between conservationists and rich assholes who want to sell grouse hunting access, but I'll leave it at this fascinating tidbit about air guns and mannequins which are "totally, absolutely there for no nefarious reason at all, certainly not to prevent marsh harriers from nesting in an area where they also keep winding up mysteriously killed in illegal snares, no no no"

BUT. Since Nature Reserve isn't a hard defined legal concept, and any organization could get involved in local conservation in the UK, and just about anyone or anything could own one... IT'S CHESTER ZOO WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!!

They received a grant in 2021 to restore habitat to a stretch of 10 miles extending outside of their borders, working with TONS of other entities such as local government and conservation charities in the process. There's now 6,000 square meters of restored meadow, an orchard, new ponds, and maintained reedbeds, because of them.

It isn't just Chester Zoo, either. It's all over the UK. Durrel Wildlife, which runs Jersey Zoo, just acquired 18,500 acres to rewild in Perthshire. Citizen Zoo is working with the Beaver Trust to bring beavers back to London and is always looking for volunteers to help with their river projects, and the Edinburgh Zoo is equipped with gene labs being used to monitor and analyze the remaining populations of non-hybrid Scottish Wildcats.

The point being,

Nature preserves have problems too. They are not magical fairy kingdoms that you put up a fence around and then declare you Saved Nature Hooray! They need to be protected. They need to be continuously assessed. They are prone to capitalist pressures just like everything else on this hell planet. Go talk to my boy Karl he'll give you a hug about it.

"Nature Preserves" are NOT an "alternative" to zoos and vice versa. They do not do the same thing. A zoo is a center of education and wildlife research which displays exotic animals. A nature preserve is a parcel of native ecosystem. We need LOTS of nature preserves and we need them well-managed ASAP.

We could never just "replace" zoos with nature preserves, and we're nowhere near the amount of protected ecosystem space to start thinking of scaling back animals in captivity. Until King Arthur comes out of hibernation to save Britain, that's the world we live in.

An Aside

My project and my research is based on the isle of Great Britain. The more I learn about the ecosystems that are naturally found there, the more venomously I reject the old lie, "humans are a blight."

YOU are an animal. You're a big one, too. You know what the role of big animals in an ecosystem are? Change. Elephants knock over trees, wolves alter the course of rivers, bison fertilize the plains from coast-to-coast. In Great Britain, that's what hominids have done for 900,000 years, their populations ebbing and flowing with every ice age.

Early farming created the moors and grazing sheep and cattle maintain it, hosting hundreds of specialist species. Every old-growth forest has signs of ancient coppicing and pollarding, which create havens for wildlife when well-managed. Corn cockle evolved as a mimic of wheat seeds, so farmers would plant it over and over within their fields.

This garbage idea that humans are somehow "separate" from or "above" nature is poison. It's not true ANYWHERE.

It contributes to an idea that our very presence is somehow damaging to natural spaces, and to "protect" it, we have to completely leave it alone. NO! Absolutely NOT! There are places where we have to limit harvesting and foot traffic, but humans ALWAYS lived in nature.

Even the ecosystems that this mindset comes from rejects it, but this shit doesn't JUST get applied to British people who become alienated and disconnected from their surroundings to the point where they don't know what silver birch does.

It's DEADLY for the indigenous people who protect 80% of our most important ecosystems.

It's a weapon against the Maasai people, stopped from hunting or growing crops on their own land. It's violence for 9 San hunters shot at by a helicopter with a "kill poachers on-sight" policy, as one of the world's LARGEST diamond mines operates in the same motherfucking park. The Havasupai people are kept out of the Grand Canyon that they managed for generations because they might "collect too many nuts" and starve squirrels, Dukha reindeer herders suddenly get banned from chopping wood or fishing, and watch wolves decimate their animals in the absence of their herding dogs.

It's nightmare after nightmare of human displacement in the name of "conservation."

That all ties back to that mindset. This idea that nature is pure, "pristine," and should be totally untouched. There are some starting to call it Fortress Conservation.

You can't begin to understand the criticisms of modern conservation without acknowledging that we are still living under the influence of capitalism and colonialism. Those who fixate on speaking for "animals/nature/trees who don't have a voice" often seem to have no interest in the indigenous people who do.

Listen. There's no simple answer; and the solution will vary for each region.

Again, my project is within the UK, one of the most ecologically devastated areas in the world. There are bad zoos that the law allows a pass. There are incredible zoos that are vital to conservation, in and outside of the country. There's not enough nature preserves. The best ones that exist are often exploited for profit.

I hope that my silly little blog sparks an interest in a handful of people to understand more about their own local ecosystems, and teaches folks about the unique beauty even within a place as "boring" as England.

But, my straightforward statement is that I have no patience for nonconstructive, broad zoo slander that lumps together ALL of them, and open contempt for anyone who tries to sell nature preserves like a perfect, morally superior "alternative." We need them BOTH right now, and we need to acknowledge that zoos AND preserves have legal and ethical issues that aren't openly talked about.

[the-blaze-empress]

dear anon who asked me That One Question. im not sure if you have quite anticipated just how long of a reply you’re going to receive. good luck <3

(and thank you)

[lorkai]

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/N: Honestly I forgot today it's valentine's day, but thankfully I found time to write a little something both cute and funny - well I think it's funny. Anyway, happy valentine's day for y'all, I'm giving each one of you a little kiss on the cheek! (Tagging you bcs I think you'll enjoy this @hanafubukki)

"Are you sure about that?" Silver grabs your arm before you can walk through the door and meet his father, his normally warm and comfortable palms were now cold with anxiety. It was so strange to see him so agitated like this, when you were used to seeing him with a calm and content expression.

You smile, trying to control your own nervousness, trying not to show how you felt. Lilia would be able to sense your nervousness like a hungry shark before even a "how are you?" could escape your lips. Maybe even with his eyes closed and blindfolded, he could see you shaking. The old general might be your good friend, but he could scare one whenever he wanted.

Wanting not to think about it now, you force another smile onto your face as soon as the old one falters and take Silver's hands between yours affectionately, joining your head to his, your eyes connected. There was nothing to fear, not when you knew what the results of your action were, the metal between Silver's fingers left you bubbling with happiness. His "yes" echoing again and again in your mind, echoing, shouting, whispering, existing in all forms.

"Everything's going to be okay," You whispered to him before giving him one last kiss, feeling your heart beat like it was one of the first exchanged. You moved away and with that the heat too. "I'll leave with a positive answer. Trust me."

And with that you ventured into unknown lands.

Lilia was in his natural habitat, pink apron wrapped around his waist as he watched the strange mixture he called food bubble inside the pot. As soon as the door closed he looked over his shoulder and smiled at you in greeting, returning to paying attention to whatever he was cooking.

Abort mission? You thought, swallowing hard. the smell of the death reaching you, but you took a deep breath. No, I can't give up. it's now or never!

"Uh... Lilia?" You mentally slapped yourself as your voice weakened, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt as you tried to calm down. Was this how everyone felt? Heavens, what torture! "I want to ask you something."

A sigh left your lips as a small hand rested on your chin and forced your face to meet his, vibrant red eyes looking at you curiously. As you predicted, he already knew something was going on and seemed to find the situation funny. "Fufufu~, what scared you, Yuu?"

You, you scare me! You mentally shouted, pressing your lips into a straight line before smiling.

"I want to ask for your blessing to marry Silver." You let it all out in a single breath, afraid of even breathing wrong. Your eyes closing on impulse.

Lilia mumbled something incoherent, released you and walked away. He looked so shocked that for a second he just stared at you without saying anything while a thousand thoughts ran through his mind.

He's going to say no, he's going to tell me to never go near Silver again.

Far from it, Lilia burst into contagious laughter, wiping away small tears that ran from his eyes. For several minutes all you heard was the sound of something bubbling inside the pot and Lilia laughing, his face so red it looked like a pepper. Finally he seemed to calm down, using the kitchen counter to steady himself. He took a deep breath, once, twice before looking at you again.

"So that's how they feel... I expected anything but that, honestly, oh wow." Lilia took another deep breath, back to his normal self. "Marriage is a big step to take, are you ready for it?"

You nodded, a sweet smile growing on your face. "I am prepared now as I will be in the years to come to make your son the happiest man in the world and being able to call him my husband would make me very happy too."

Lilia seemed to think for a second, but you knew, you could feel the positive response coming any moment now. He turned around and turned off the stove, letting his food cool, then returned his attention to you more carefully, arms crossed over his chest.

"Does Silver want this?”

As if ready to answer the question, Silver opened the door, awkwardly looking at his father.

"Yes, I want."

Lilia laughed softly, opening his arms and waiting for his son to cross the entire space that separated them and come hug him, just as he did so readily when he was still a child. And Silver did, he might even be bigger than his father now but the effect was still the same, all the comfort, all the love, was there.

"Yuu, you too!" Lilia commanded, extending another arm towards you. Surprised, you joined the hug, melting almost immediately in the middle of the two, a rollercoaster of emotions running through your chest.

"Ah, children, you grow up so fast, I almost feel old!" Silver let out a laugh as his father massaged his scalp, his hand found yours and he squeezed it lightly. "You have my blessing to get married, I can almost see the ceremony and it is beautiful."

He broke away, small tears forming in his eyes as he looked at you and Silver. A smile made its way across his face.

"Promise to make my son happy, promise to love him as he deserves?" He asked.

You promptly responded. "Of course I promise and I will never break that promise, I swear on my life."

"Good indeed, otherwise... Fufu~" Lilia laughed. This time in a tone that sent shivers down your spine and Silver sent a pleading look to his father, the fae rolled his eyes. "Young people these days don't understand my jokes, oh well. By the way I'm glad you're here, the food is ready and hot and we can talk more with our bellies full!"

And there was the omen of death, you could see his black cloak and the scythe in his hand clearly. Death was coming. Silver pulled you close. "Sorry dad, but we have to go ring shopping." He lied for both of your sakes, waving as he started walking.

"Silver, I can clearly see a ring on your finger and Yuu's finger." Lilia argued against it.

And with that, Silver pulled you up and started running. Adrenaline filled your body as you followed him, it was a matter of life or death now.

But at least you had gotten Lilia's blessing.

[theroundbartable]

To write stories I like to arrange little meetings in my head where I get to know the characters in their natural habitat. I try to avoid shipping at this point because at that moment, they are real people with feelings and I'm here for the character before I can use them for a fic.

One piece is... Hard.

Because these people ask me who I am, where I'm from, if I came with a devil fruit, what my dreams are and worse of all, I mentioned that I'm a shipper and now Sanji wants to KNOW who he's being shipped with and dreams about some pretty and curvy woman and stuff.

I can't tell him Pudding's secret and I don't want to break him when he finds out what kind of people he's constantly shipped with.

Please help, the boy is desperate.

[lokisprettygirl]

Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)

Read chapter 9 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 10

Summary : Loki Meets Mrs. Geller, Things are heating up between you and him.

Warning: mention of psychological torture, angst, insecurities, self deprecating behaviour, Melissa, some much needed steam , 4k words

Note : This is the mandatory fun fluffy steamy chapter of the series (Gif is how i picture him on the bed)

"You have my phone number right?" You mumbled softly so he nodded,

"I have memorized it"

"Recite for me"

He looked at you for a moment before he proceeded to recite the number, however just to be safe you did write it on a note and shoved it in his pants pocket. This morning you woke up in his arms thanking all your stars that last night wasn't just a heavenly dream. He had to leave soon so you were enjoying most of the time you had with him, by enjoying you meant you couldn't stop kissing him.

"Give me those bird like kisses" he mumbled so you pulled away and looked at him.

"Whaaaat?" You giggled so he cupped your cheeks, placed his lips on yours and pecked you again and again until you got the point.

"You like that I see" you mumbled so he nodded, then you did the same to him until he was all giggly. God you wanted to keep him in your pocket

"Okay before you leave I want you to meet Mrs Geller" you told him so he stood up from the sofa with you in his arms.

"God sometimes I forget all about the inhuman strength" you placed your legs down but he still had his hands around your waist, holding you in the air as if you weighed nothing, you looked down at his forearms, the rolled up sleeves made him look hotter somehow, he was wearing the white shirt from last night with a pair of formal black pants.

"Mmhm you enjoy that?"

"Ohh yeah, I like the idea of you being so strong, knowing that you can just fold me in half like a log of wood with a snap of your fingers is super sexy" you whispered in his ear and his cheeks went red again. He needed his erection controlling charm. Now he had filthy images in his head about bending you over in several ways and taking you like that. Erection control charm Stat.

"Well I would never fold you in any way that would make you feel anything but delighted" it was your turn to get bashful. He was cute and sexy, the deadliest combination.

"You know what else I find sexy?" You whispered as you planted your lips on the soft skin of his neck.

"That even though you're such a strong deadly powerful man, I am the safest when I'm with you" he hummed as you said that, a smile appeared on his face. He'd always keep you safe.

Before things could get dirty, you grabbed his arm and took him with you to meet Mrs. Geller.

"I love this dress on you princess"

"You know I dressed up for you right, I mean you have seen me in my natural habitat" he chuckled as you said that.

"I have. You resemble a dainty little wild creature in your natural habitat" you gasped at the comment before you hit on his chest with your fist playfully "Especially when you hair is all matted and uncombed you look like a bear cub"

"Staaapp I'll kick your ass" you chuckled

You knocked on Mrs Geller's door and as soon as she opened it she couldn't take her eyes off him. You didn't blame her though.

"Can we come inside?" You asked her

"Of Course my dear, come come" she mumbled hurriedly so you took him in and he looked around, her apartment was similar to yours.

"Ahhh sit down please" she looked up at him so he smiled and sat down on her couch. She was even shorter than you and he didn't want her to strain her neck just to have a conversation with him.

"Mrs Geller first of all I just wanted to thank you for the last night and secondly this is Loki as you must know"

"Hello Mrs Geller" he mumbled politely so she smiled

"I am soooo confused" she let out a nervous laughter

"I know you see..you know how he escaped with the tesseract and ended up in an apartment?"

"Yes I follow Melissa McKay on Instagram, she just posted this photo.. see" she said excitedly as she showed you a picture on her Android phone and you controlled the urge to roll your eyes. People were deeply invested in this fake couple.

"Uhhh yeah about that, you see when he escaped he didn't end up in her apartment, he ended up in mine, he has been living with me for more than two months before Thor, his brother found him and took him back. Remember when Thor came to Minnesota a month ago? He wasn't just on vacation, he came for Loki" You spoke as fast as you could and her eyes widened in shock, she took a step back and stared at him, he was just looking at her with that typical confused puppy look on his face.

"Oh wow. I knew you were hiding a boy in there because I heard voices…but woww" she gulped as she finished her sentence "But what is this thing with Melissa then?"

"It's all lies, trust me I had no clue of such a thing before the press conference, i never wanted to hurt y/n like that" Loki answered her and she nodded.

"Okay let me make you both a cup of coffee" she offered but you told her that he had to leave soon.

"So what does this mean, are you seeing him?" She took you aside and questioned you,

"It's umm..we are friends "

"Best friends " he chimed in so you smiled.

"Sharp hearing " you told Mrs Geller and her eyes widened even more.

"I just know that he's someone very important to me and I don't want to lose him. Againn" you told her as sincerely as you could, you wanted her to understand that he wasn't just some guy you were seeing.

"Oh he's the one isn't he, the guy you couldn't get over" she said it as a matter of fact.

"Yes"

"Yeah I don't blame you"

You smiled and his face flushed, he was easily embarassed and you had planned to have so much fun with that knowledge.

"Ummm so can you please promise to keep this with you for now, i don't want my mom to know about all of this, I'm not ready to deal with her just now" you requested her so she hugged you and promised you that she won't share anything with your mother. You hoped she'd be able to keep that promise because she loved gossiping and you weren't ready to deal with your mother's opinion about this just yet.

She sat down next to Loki and asked him different things as if she was testing him whether he actually cared about you or not. He learned that it was her birthday tomorrow so he conjured a fluffy sweater for her as a present, it was something he had made for Frigga but never got the chance to give her.

"You can knit?" You asked him as you brought him back to your apartment

"It was just a phase where i enjoyed knitting, i have grown out of it" you cupped his cheeks and kissed him as he said that.

"You're so cute"

He smiled and kissed you back but then you suddenly pulled away from him,

"Wait i have to see this picture your fake girlfriend posted again" you grabbed your phone from the kitchen counter but he tried to snatch it away.

"You need to do no such thing darling"

"Ohhh but I do" you swiftly walked away from him to get away but he followed you,

"Why?" He asked you so you shrugged, he tried to snatch it away from you again so you ran towards your bed and unfortunately you didn't have much space to run around in your apartment, he picked you up and laid you down on the bed, you placed your hands up so he won't be able to grab the phone but your attempts were futile, he pinned both of your hands with one hand and used the other one to grab your phone then it disappeared. Damn super strength and magicky stuff.

"I don't want you to hurt yourself like that, you hear me?" you bit on your lip at his sharp commanding tone.

"Mmmhmm" you hummed in response

"She means nothing to me'

"And I do" that wasn't a question but a statement, you knew he cared about you, if he didn't he never would have come back for you. And he definitely wouldn't have been there on top of you at the moment.

"You do, only you do" he whispered as he leaned down to kiss your forehead.

He couldn't stop staring at your lips so he lowered down and kissed you, he didn't let go of your hands and kept them pinned over your head while his other arm grabbed your thigh and he curled it around his waist one by one.

This definitely was the most sexual kiss you have had with him until now, or with anyone really, your body felt warm, weak and tingly all over, you just wanted him to keep going and do whatever he wanted to do with you, however a knock on your window made you gasp in his mouth. You craned your neck up and so did he to look at the window, Thor was standing on the other side with a huge smirk on his face

Loki immediately let go of you and then he helped you off the bed like the gentleman that he was. How come he wasn't aroused by that kiss? You felt it deep in your soul but when you had your legs around him you felt nothing, no bulge. Nothing.

"Okay give me my phone or we won't be able to talk" you placed your palm forward so he conjured your phone and gave it back to you. You wanted to kiss him but you could feel Thor's eyes on you both so you looked at him and he turned around, he made sure that you both saw him rolling his eyes.

"Okay call me whenever you can..I'll miss you" you mumbled as you kissed him, your eyes were teary and they made him sad too. He wished he could have taken you with him or better he wished he could have stayed here but it wasn't possible. He was on a probation, if he was to fuck up again he'd be sent back to Asgard and he didn't want to go so far away from you at any cost.

"I will ring you tonight only i promise" you smiled as he said that before your arms curled around his neck so you could hug him tightly, once you had your fill, you walked him towards the window and he somehow stepped out even though the window was too small for his large frame.

"Ummm hiiii and thank you for your help" you said to Thor and raised your hand forward so he shook it gently.

"My pleasure lady y/n" you smiled at him before you diverted your attention back to loki.

"Take care okay? And eat and miss me" you told him as you fixed the collar of his shirt and it made him smile. Norns he found you all kinds of precious.

"You do that too please, no more skipping meals" he mumbled softly so you nodded.

When he left you sat down on your bed, you needed a moment, everything felt so good when he was there but as soon as he was gone you felt gloomy again. Oh the rush of the new love, well technically this was your first love since you have never actually been in this sort of love before.

You picked up your phone and despite his resistance you couldn't help but stalk Melissa again, she had posted a picture with him where he was looking at the camera, a small smile on his face while she was looking at him like a love sick school girl. Now you knew why his eyes seemed that way, he was sad and miserable. She had tagged a profile so you opened it and it belonged to Loki but you didn't think he was the actual owner of the account, he probably didn't even know about it.

He already had like 200k followers and that shocked you.

As Thor and Loki reached the tower, loki used the invisibility charm to disappear, when Tony spotted Thor he stormed towards him.

"Where is that reckless brother of yours?" He asked Thor, even though Loki was right next to him Tony obviously couldn't see him, Loki took off his shoes and started to tiptoe around Tony so he could get away without being noticed.

"How would I know I just returned from my morning stroll? What a beautiful morning in midgard today" he smiled widely.

"Well he missed the training sesh with Cap, you know he can't leave the tower without permission right?"

"Did you even check his chamber thoroughly?" Thor asked him, hoping that Loki was back to his room by now.

"I knocked ..he didn't open up"

"Norns, he must have consumed buckets of midgardian liquor at the celebration last night" Both Thor and Tony walked towards Loki's room together and knocked loudly, a moment later Loki opened the door, looking half asleep and hungover out of his mind.

"You really need to set an alarm" Tony told him before he walked away, as soon as he was out of sight Loki waved his fingers and he was back to looking his perfect self.

"We have to be more careful than this, you can not be out this late in the morning" Thor said as he huffed

"I am being treated like a prisoner"

"You are a prisoner" Loki rolled his eyes and shut the door on Thor's face. After an hour he stepped out of his room in order to not make them more suspicious of him. He wanted to call you and hear your sweet voice but you must have been at your workplace already and he didn't want to bother you or distract you.

He was trying to find something to eat in the kitchen but as soon as he spotted Melissa his appetite died.

He didn't say anything but she kept walking towards him and then she hugged him.

"I'm sorry about my behavior last night..i was drunk" she smiled so he pulled her away.

"That is fine, just, do not embrace me without my permission" he told her as he pushed her away by holding onto her shoulders.

"Honestly, what is your problem?" She asked him as she crossed her arms. Sometimes she scared him but not in a good way.

"Where should I begin?" She glared at him at the sarcastic response.

"I'm just trying to be your friend here Loki"

Okay now he was actually upset by her. She was starting to take the fake relationship too seriously, he already had a friend, he didn't need more and especially not the ones who he knew just wanted to hurt him and use him for their own benefit.

"You don't want to be my friend, you want to be my concubine so let us not even play pretend here"

She got upset by his words and stormed out of there, why didn't he want her? She was attractive, several guys would have killed to be with someone like her.

In the evening Loki was being interviewed along with Melissa so you sat down on the couch with a glum look on your face. You hated seeing him with her,

"So Melissa tell me about the moment when you knew he was the one" You saw her blushing at the question, she was sitting so close to him and only you could tell how uncomfortable he was.

"That would be the moment when he kissed me for the first time, the moment we kissed I just felt this chemistry between us, this scorching heat and it was the most amazing thing in the world" No not the heat, the heat was yours. How much did he tell her about you? You felt a little upset but the thought of him talking about you made you feel warm immediately. He talked about you when he didn't know of her intentions, he had a gorgeous woman in front of him but he was only interested in talking about you.

"Fuckkk yeahh" you let out a noise of excitement. If your exes knew who you were seeing they would seethe and burn, nobody wants their exes to date someone better than them, and you were literally being blessed by a real god.

"Loki what was your first thought when you met her, I am sure it must have been terrifying especially since it was right after the chitauri attack and she must have been scared by your presence"

Well you were scared out of your mind at first but then he won you over with his calming personality.

Loki placed his fingers on his lips, a smile appeared on his lips as he thought about you, he didn't even look at Melissa before he answered.

"I often think about that and I wonder why I was taken there, the tesseract could have sent me anywhere in the universe but somehow It took me to that tiny little apartment in mi..New York City" he corrected himself immediately before he continued to speak "That space belonged to such a sweet precious angel and it is fearsome when I think of it now because a miniscule amount of deviation in time, even just a mere fraction of second could have diverted my destination but it knew, the tesseract knew, i suppose I ended up in the right place at the right time" his eyes glittered as he spoke and yours teared up. The studio audience cooed at his response so Melissa kissed his cheek.

"He wasn't talking about you dumbass" you groaned as you muttered to yourself.

At night you laid down on the bed with your phone stuck to your chest, you were waiting for his phone call desperately, you missed him already and it was killing you. As soon as your phone rang you picked it up,

"I thought you wouldn't call at all tonight"

"What?" You heard your mother's voice and your eyes widened, probably should have checked the number, you were glad you didn't say his name.

"Ummm hey mom you know i wanted to talk about the party, Mrs Geller invited you right?" You gulped.

"Yes, I'll just stay with you tomorrow night, David won't be able to join me" she mumbled so you hummed in response, you just hoped Mrs Geller wouldn't tell your mom anything about Loki. As she hung up you took a deep breath but your heard your phone ringing again so you picked it up, maybe she forgot to criticize you for something and remembered just now

"Yes mommmm" you heard him chuckling on the other side and your face flushed.

"Darling, I know your mother can be overbearing but replacing her with me is hardly the solution" he said to you so you chuckled in response

"I'm sorry I was just talking to her, i thought you wouldn't call tonight"

"Oh I promised, didn't i? I just got back to my chamber"

"Chamber huh"

"Rooooooom..happy? Is that better"

"Uh Huh"

"I have missed you princess"

"I have missed you more"

"Well that can be argued"

"I will win"

"Perhaps you will lose"

"Yeah how?"

He paused for a moment before he spoke again.

"Ohhh. Did you see me on the television today?"

"I might have"

"Well then I am afraid you have lost already"

"How come?" You giggled and it made him smile.

"Because you got to see me and you heard me speaking but I went all day long with just memories of you in my head" you bit on your cheek as he said that. Smooth fucker

"Okay I'll let you win this time"

"Thank you, I truly wish I was there darling "

"I know..me too. Good thing I stole your suit jacket last night"

"You devious woman, I need to learn this game, are you wearing it?"

"Mmmhmmm I am" your voice turned sultry and it made his breath hitch in his chest.

"Ohh norns "

"And I'm wearing nothing underneath" you mumbled and then you heard the sound of his telephone hitting the floor, his mouth opened wide as he pictured you on that tiny bed, with you wearing nothing but just his jacket.

"Lokiiiiiiiiiiiiiii" you whispered his name so he came back to reality.

"I am here, you have painted a sensuous picture for me"

"Mmmhmmm i didn't know this was going to be that type of phone call" his cock went hard as he heard your flirtatious voice, fortunately he didn't have to fix it with the charm this time, he can be as hard as he wanted and he could also touch himself.

"It doesn't have to be sweetheart"

"Goddddd you're cuteeee" you giggled and it made him smile. Your comfort came first always.

"Lokiii"

"Mhhhm"

"How do you look right now? Do you have clothes on?" He gulped again, how come a mortal made him so nervous?

"Just a trouser"

"That's nice, that's how I was picturing you anyways" your voice almost came out in whispers and he placed his free palm on his bulge to calm himself down. His mouth opened and eyes closed as he couldn't help but think of your half naked body underneath him.

"Can I ask you a dirty question?" You smiled as he said that.

"Mmmmhmmm go ahead"

"The jacket, are they buttoned all the way up or you left them unlatched, if I was to look at you right now would I see your bare skin?" He questioned softly and it almost threatened a moan to escape from your throat, the man you fancied and lusted after was thinking of you in such a way, it made you squeeze your thighs involuntarily.

"I left them all open lo"

"Norns darling you're killing me" his sexy husky voice melted in your ear and you pictured him right next to you

"And it smells like you lo, i smell like you, it's like you're right here holding me, whispering in my ear" you bit on your lips as you finished your sentence. His hand rubbed over his clothed bulge and then he realised something.

"Darling?"

"Mmmhmm?"

"You're not wearing my jacket are you?" He asked you so you chuckled.

"Would you be upset if I say no?"

"Not at all, you can have all the fun you desire, i fancy such harmless mischievous pranks, i wasn't named god of mischief for kicks and giggles"

"oh my god..So do I. Thank you, you really do get me" your eyes teared up at the intense emotions you were having at the moment, it was a mixture of arousal and the deep affection you felt for him. You were so in love with him.

"Mmmhmmm you're a naughty naughty girl, that is fascinating" you chuckled as he said that.

"Well at least you find me fascinating"

"You are amazing princess, never let anyone make you feel differently"

"Okayy if you say so"

You both talked for an hour, everytime you said something sexy his cock got hard immediately, he desperately wanted you to touch him but he had no problem staying patient as well, this thing between you two wasn't just romantic and definitely not just sexual, he needed your friendship and he wanted to be your confidante, your one and only, he just hoped his feelings were reciprocated. He always feared that he'd do something or say something that would turn you off and make you see him differently.

He took a deep breath and smiled, he was tired from the day but knowing that he wasn't going to lose you made him feel calm. He couldn't even describe in words how much he valued your presence in his life, the past month felt torturous for him, his heart felt empty and devoid of any emotion but since last night those cracks were starting to fill again with your care and possibly love. Did you love him? He hoped so because he was falling deeply and irrevocably for you. How could he not when you were nothing short of a goddess for him.

You said your goodbyes, though it wasn't something any of you wanted but you had to cut the call at some point and sleep. Next day you got ready for Mrs Geller's birthday party and you weren't expecting to see the whole building plus several other people you didn't know at all. It was a small apartment so that's why it looked even more crowded, your mom had come too and you looked at Mrs Geller nervously but she assured you that your secret was safe with her. .

You went to her kitchenette to make yourself a drink but you gasped as you felt a pair of arms circling around your waist.

You turned around and placed your hand on his chest, you couldn't see him but you knew he was there because you could touch him and you could definitely smell that scent of him that drove you crazy..

"What are you doing?" You asked him as quietly as you could, you made sure nobody was looking at you because they would definitely think you were a lunatic for talking to the air. He leaned closer to whisper in your ear. He was playing a dangerous game but you were into this game.

"I'm here to take revenge for last night, you lied to me sweetheart, you didn't think I'd let it slide so easily, did you?"

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