#as if i didnt fucking say i already did that 10 times with no result

[scuderiamint]

race day thoughts from Singapore !! aka danny ric truly the dotd + main character max verstappen

nothing to really say about the win, considering this is exactly what lando should be doing with the rocket, miserable time for me as a max fan but we move ig

almost got a grand slam but my man, my hero, my petty bitch boy's bestie Daniel Ricciardo decided to not only ruin his slam but also lessen the damage that max took from this weekend, muahhhhh (i have never really liked you king but this deserved a standing ovation)

max verstappen pulling that rb20 into the front row and then defending that spot from a lewis with soft tires was Beautiful, an incredible result

speaking of max, the fact that he only lost like 10 points to lando over the double header is Insane, considering this was the worst track combination for red bull lmao this is truly what i call damage limitations

i was quite surprised by what mclaren (🤮) did with oscar, no clue what that pit strat was, cuz that man could have very easily been p2 but he didnt manage to close up the gap to max at all at the end so idk man

the mercs were kinda underwhelming, i thought lewis would be an insane threat to max but he fell off quite quickly and then george was busy fighting his car and defending from oscar so also idk man

oh ferrari, my sweet sweet summer children, why have you decided to go back to your roots and completely fuck yourselves 😭 no clue what went on there

also carlos needs to stop picking fights with rookies dude, colapinto having the balls to pull off an incredible start is exactly what he needs to do considering he doesnt have seat next year anyways

also carlos has zero room to talk about someone potentially causing a collision when he has crashed 2 race weekends in a row from his own dumb mistakes

charles jumping from p9 to like p5? i think? was quite impressive considering we had zero safely cars

speaking of that

WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY SAFELY CARS

SINGAPORE IS NOTORIOUS FOR THE AMOUNT OF SAFETY CARS, AND THE FIA TAKE AWAY THE ONE PART OF THE TRACK THAT USUALLY CAUSES THEM AND RUINS MY FUN ????

bro we have gone like 8 races with zero safety cars, what the fuck is going on 😭😭

kmag promised me that he would "fuck shit up" and all he gave me was a botched attempt at a fastest lap 😔 all men do is Lie

also i didnt think this needed to be said but because zak is crying in the media, danny ric was not the only one trying to get fastest lap lmao i cant believe we are back at the 'rbr have 4 drivers on the grid :((((" debate again lmao

the way some people talk about rb, it sounds like h*rner has direct radio comms to yuki and daniel and can just order them to do shit lmao

also welcome liam lawson to rb 🫡

Honorable mentions list:

max verstappen my sweet petty bitch i adore you, this man got community service for saying "fuck" and made it everyone elses problem lmao

the other drivers cracking jokes about it and defending max makes me so fuckin happy dude, i love seeing the drivers united like this

we saw it after the media shitstorm after the austria weekend and now here ❤️

max conducting special press cons cuz the media isnt at fault here and they shouldnt be punished for something the fia did makes me smile, cuz this is max being a mature but still petty bitch and i love him for it

the "theres something with my voice" comment was so funny pls

but also his comments after the race about how f1 is turning the environment unpleasant makes me miserable dude

max already fuckin hates the circus around the sport and now this weird need to clean and polish the sport even more is annoying as fuck

kinda ironic that they want to promote the sport in america more and then pull shit like this lmao

[robitherat]

Genuinely so fucking mad right now I think I could kill someone Jesus fuck.

[allthethoughtsandstuff]

the movie was ADORABLE and it was QUEER and it was CHEESY and HAPPY and SILLY and CUTE and I LOVED it and I have some THOUGHTS and im going to put them here bc idk what else to DO

bad reputation playing after cakegate into the intro credits was the most slay choice

alex is a bracelets man send tweet

the closet scene at the hospital was such a slay 10/10 alex looking like a pissed off little kid the whole time like yeah buddy throw ur little temper tantrum we love to see it

they didn’t say fuck enough times in this movie they said it so many times in the book wtf like you had the r rating already just use it why would you not use it???

the timeline is hurting my brain they’re shifting stuff around I am questioning reality

rip obtuse fucking asshole

TZP 🫶🏻

HISTORY HUH BET WE COULD MAKE SOME IM CRYING

why did we invent miguel he’s a snake literally for why was he there

while we’re on the topic of miguel I disagree with having alex have been w him bc I think it takes away from his complete obliviousness and his thus huge moment of realization w henry so I think we get less of an alex finding himself and more of an alex exploring this part of him that he already knew was there which isn’t inherently bad for a film or book but I just always found alexs discovery of his queerness and the resulting shifting/understanding of things from his past to be such an important part of the book for me personally like just with the rearranging of things he’s always felt but never noticed or payed attention to is very special and gets lost when you give him this queer experience that he’s fully aware and understanding of

zahra for the win

THEMS ON THE BALCONY WITH THE CROWD OUTSIDE THE PALACE IM SO GLAD THEY DIDNT CUT THE CROWD

ugh the yellow rose tie I’m crying

THE FORCED CONFORMITY OF THE CLOSET CANNOT BE ANSWERED WITH FORCED CONFORMITY IN COMING OUT OF IT SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK IM FUCKING SCREAMING

okay so ur going to talk about alexs eyelashes but NOT give the line to henry excuse me????

“take the american with you” im dying at that

girl they called the election so fast ik things move faster in movies but here’s me knowing how LONG it takes in the book and the SUSPENSE and the ADRENALINE and then it was just over like that before you even know it like damn

uma thurman woman that you are 💗

so I was thinking ab when they do the new years count down and these random girls kiss alex and I’m like damn no what it’s supposed to be nora but you know what then I realized they just made nora into a sister figure for alex since they got rid of june so their relationship is and always has been 100% platonic

it was so slay of them to literally open the movie with alex being nervous and thinking he’s going to mess up at the wedding and get rejected like yes thank you for addressing this boys perfectionism and imposter syndrome head on from the very beginning this is the alex we know and love

putting alex and henry in the same room when they’re talking on the phone to each other was such a good choice I love it

they made this movie for the readers you have to know the LORE you have to understand how DEEP henry and alexs relationship is and you simply cannot get that in a two hour film but goddamn did they do a good job trying

[away-ward]

from pen.d's goodreads qna:

Lottie asked Penelope Douglas:

Hi Pen! I just wondered is there any chance you will write a bonus scene for Aydin and Alex? I’d love to have seen more of them (their wedding night particularly haha), Aydin was such an interesting character. Also, what is the gift Damon received from Christiane in Fire Night? Damon is my favourite character of yours, I loved every tidbit we get about him and will miss reading about him. Thanks :)

Penelope Douglas Hi, Lorrie! Always possible!  And Christiane gave Damon and journal--the left page is for the parent to fill out and the right is for the child. Like "List your top 10 favorite movies" It's a way for parents and children to learn about each other, communicate, etc. She's filled it out for most of Damon's life, and she finally passed it on to him.  Thanks for the question!

-

oh? so they're actually not done with this series? 🙃 aydin and alex 😶🔫 just k-word me already. No bcs why tf will it be aydinalex, kaibanks and willemmy's fans have been asking extra since forever but there were so little? but aydin and alex could be possible? i thought they said so many times before that they were SOOOOOOO fucking done with this series and the books, and hoped that fans will move on and be happy, didnt want to change anything blablabla, emory was heavily disliked yadayadayada, but they just kept on firing shit up, AND include these two imbecile ass characters that were hated by many, in everything? 😤😕

sometimes i wonder where they even got their insights? Like who did they even listen to when they said their readers hated emory and love alex more? Beta readers? Pendragon FB fan group? PR lists? Publishers? Editors? Because they're definitely not coming fom the majority of their fans everywhere else. It's like they have a secret society of feedback givers that we dont know about and kept on putting content that we never asked for because they listened to that unknown society, and again was surprised when their content got so many backlash! And they never owned up to anything too!! God! We at least could've gotten a bonus of emmy being pregnant or some shit, or how will is faring with his college degree, or some more domestic willemmy things, but ughhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! This? pd's just so full of shit 😓

ahhhh, I see. I had to check goodreads to see when they posted it.

My understanding is that PD will always leave the door open to write a scene here or there, but they have no plans (read: intentions) to continue the series or pick up with their children.

As for the Alex bit, you best believe that PD is all too happy to write about her, Rika, and Damon. It's confirmed that Damon is their favorite.

But look at this from their website:

"As an adolescent, I was quiet, shy, and afraid. No mistakes could be made, because people would hate me or I’d be alone. So rather than run, I walked. Rather than climb, I kept my feet on the ground. And rather than say “yes,” I always said “no.” And as a result, I didn’t live.

And I still felt disposable, fearful, and alone.

What would they say about me when I was gone? Would I have regrets? Every day that I didn’t blaze a trail swallowed me up.

So I decided I wouldn’t be invisible or waste another second. I left home, went to college, and traveled. I took trains from Atsugi to Tokyo all by myself. I jumped Hiji Falls when others joked I wouldn’t do it. (I did it twice.) I climbed Mt. Fuji, and I moved to New Orleans for graduate school without knowing a single person in the city. I did what I dreamed, and I was a lot happier.

I don’t worry so much anymore, and I don’t let others’ opinions hold me back.

Be yourself, and OWN it. You know what that means? Be loud and proud. Nurture who you are and good things will come. Most importantly, your happiness."

Sounds a little like Rika's character arc, no?

And in Corrupt, Alex was everything Rika wasn't; bold, sexual, loud and proud. Since Corrupt was a stand alone, I think the relationship between Rika and Alex is special to PD. There's something about Rika, Alex, and Damon that has a tight hold on PD, so we should always expect that if we're getting new content, it will strongly feature one of them.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of readers who hate Emory and love Alex. I wish neither character was hated and that there wasn't competition in the fandom over them. That's so exhausting. I wish PD had planned on writing a series from the start, so that they balanced all these characters better. I wish they enjoyed writing about Kai and Will, and Banks and Emory, as much as they enjoyed writing about Rika and Damon. I wish that they didn't listen to fans so much - there're those that enjoy Alex and those who don't. They're always going to get contradictory requests over her.

Just be happy willemmy was clearly always endgame and nothing changed that for them. Not even all the fans that were rooting for Alex. And be happy that the less PD touches willemmy, the more we can imagine our own scenarios for them.

Sorry for the disappointing q&a. PD's q&a's are always... interesting to me.

Thanks for the message!!

KO

[adultswim2021]

Delocated #5: “The Soother” | March 16, 2009 - 12:15AM | S01E05

Kim goes off on a yoga retreat, but leaves behind a plaster mold of her own hand. Jon becomes unusually dependent on it, and the episode features at least one loving montage of him being romantic with the hand. There might’ve been two montages, I fell asleep before I could write this up and I’m relying on my notes. I hope there was two montages, because we all deserve that. 

Jon also becomes a professional “soother” after a chance encounter proves that his buttery smooth/electronically modified voice is just what a colicky baby needs to drift off to beddy-bye. This results in a successful launch of a CD of Jon lulling your little angel to sleep. This gets under Yvgeny’s skin, whose comedy CD is not only selling poorly, but was also disrespected by his father, currently doing hard time being a prison guy. It should be noted, Jon records this CD and see it's release within the space of a week.

Kim comes home and is disturbed by Jon’s obsession with the fake hand, which is destroyed during a botched mob hit. The episode ends with an emotional ceremony of Jon spreading the ashes, or possibly just ground-up remnants of the hand. 

Season one of Delocated is perfectly respectable and funny, but the more memorable episodes are still to come. This one is a fine collection of funny bits, like the running gag where Mike gets emotionally distraught when people reject his Halal French toast and has to call his mother. Also I liked when Jon likened Kim’s plaster hand to if he made a plaster mold of his penis were the shoe on the other foot. Or, glove on the other hand, if you will. 

Hey, I couldn’t figure out how to work this into the write-up proper, so I’m adding it here. Also, I’m not sure how funny it actually is on paper, so please imagine me doing this on stage, and I’m making a very funny face while saying it, and everyone cheers when I get done saying it. Thanks: 

“I’ve heard of a feet guys before, but hand guys????” 

Let’s give me a hand, guys.

MAIL BAG

You didnt ask me but I have a dog and definately have gone through the doggy door before. unfortunately i got stuck last time I tried and was in there for quite a bit until my stepbrother showed up and plowed my fat white girl ass. toodles

I hope he got you pregnant and that your child grows up to read my blog and be my biggest fan :D I am a star!

For a class about the Comedies of Ancient Greece and Rome, i did a 10 min presentation comparing Xavier Renegade Angel to Socrates from the play The Clouds. I chose a student at random to read aloud my transcription of the Free Range Mannibalism cold open (“these byways of Ameri-can’t are coated con carnage…”). No one knew what the fuck i was talking about. I got an A-, i think.

People really despise this television show. It's hardly surprising, but, gosh, I wish the entire world agreed with me.

i wonder if Free Range Mannibalisn is less confusing to people who remember Mad Cow disease. Although even by the time of that episode airing, that was already barely a thing anymore

Brings to mind this one joke from Duckman where they make a Mad Cow Disease reference and then the screen pauses and a subtitle pops up explaining that the joke was written back when it was relevant. Duckman, still funny. I forget what your question was. If you are a trustee of the Everett Peck estate or current holder of the Duckman IP please reboot Duckman and let me and my friends write it.

[amidissociative]

hello. i need help from the OSDDID community.

hi there. call me C. i need help figuring out whether what im experiencing is common in the OSDDID community or not. not going to put too much identifying information here but the body is 20+.

TWs for rape (in adulthood), childhood sexual abuse, emotional abuse, etc. under the cut.

thanks for opening the post.

i seriously am confused and scared and a little bit angry because how would this sort of thing not be obvious to both myself and other people. yeah i guess dissociative disorders are meant to be covert but... come oooooon.

i've been raped 5 times as an adult (by the same person, long sad story blah blah), and have one extremely strong memory of a family member probably molesting me. the memory has never changed nor faded but i didnt actually acknowledge it as molestation until earlier this year when i realised, hey, maybe thats a bit fucked up actually.

anyway, i took the MID (Multidimensional Inventory of Dissociation) test a couple days ago and i really did not like my results. I was as honest as i could be, since the test was self-administered and i wasnt trying to impress anyone or prove anything or whatever the fuck. These were the first results i got (dark blue line is MY average, yellow is DID-patient average, light blue is OSDD average, pink is non-dissociative patient average):

obviously to me that reads as Bad and also Extremely Consistent With DID which i really don't fucking like.

Today i spent some time doing fucky little things to the answers i gave to the test. By which i mean, i went through my answers, and dropped all of the numeric scores by 2 points, unless the scores were a 2, 1, or 0 already. Therefore a 10 became an 8, a 5 became a 3, etc., but a 2 became a 1, and both 1s and 0s stayed the same. That means all the answers i gave an answer ABOVE 0 to, still had an answer above 0, but the drop as was consistent across the board as i could make it. The chart i got from that was:

NOT IDEAL.

so i went back and dropped ALL of the answers by one more point, regardless of what they were originally. meaning, 1s became 0s. everything dropped one entire point. the chart i got then was as follows:

AGAIN. NOT IDEAL. DOESNT MAKE ME HAPPY TO LOOK AT.

in essence i want to ask the OSDDID community: what am i looking at. is this real. is this possible. because i really actually don't want it to be, i dont like it, i dont want this. i would actually be happier with a schizophrenia diagnosis which is probably saying a lot since that disorder is also heavily stigmatised.

like yeah sure i guess theres 3 people in my head that like to take turns piloting the meatsuit but GOD ABOVE I THOUGHT THAT WAS NORMAL? HOW ISNT ANY OF THIS JUST NORMAL?

i am on my hands and knees here begging for insight, for advice, for anything. please. please.

before you get on my ass: YES, i am actively looking into psychiatric advice. my therapist as well as my gp/pcp have already made moves towards it. my country is just slow as fuck.

[syrupspinner]

i just defeated Ben and Ed

dead game, am i right?

ill come out and say that, for better or worse, the most notable thing about this game is how much it shows its age.

so, indie games have always been innately countercultural in my opinion. people make indie games because theyre inspired to do something the AAA industry lacks, and a lot of the indie games that pop off into popularity do so because they offer something that mainstream gaming cant. in the current zeitgeist, we can see that best by comparing the innate simplicity and modest of indie games compared to sony's big 10-years-in-the-oven blockbuster. thats not to say indie games dont have work put into them, id never say that the year after pizza tower and sea of stars game out, but those are video games for gamers, not cinematic experiences for the general public

all this is to paint a picture of the mid-aughts, where gamers were freaking the fuck out about their hobby being made casual. the industry didnt want to cater to the same closed circle of hardcore dedication forever, and wanted to follow the wii's success by making gaming something everyone can enjoy. in other words, less call of duty, more wii sports. also unignorable is super meat boy hitting the shelves in 2010. i bought a copy from walmart as a kid (a physical disc that made me download steam to play it) and was shocked by the difficulty and the humour trying way too hard to be offensive. woah, an aborted fetus is the bad guy, youre just like the kid in my class whos mean to girls for attention. either way, it was a runaway success, and set the standard for indies to be rude & tough even if they werent directly inspired

so, ben and ed happens. an unflinchingly difficult platformer that has a meanspirited and gross edge to it. and yeah, this sure reads like someone wanted to make a difficult game all right. it's not I Am Bread levels of fuck-you-just-because, but it still feels like it cares more about being hard than being fair

like, the penultimate level has buzzsaws swinging back and forth across a pit of acid that the platforms dunk you into sometimes. add some laser sharks and we have an avgn bit. but it doesnt feel like ive been given a fun challenge here, just something hard for the sake of saying "look at me i did a tough thing" to all my friends. it doesnt feel intrinsically rewarding to overcome, because the difficulty is cheap

also, in the very same level, you can press tab and ragdoll under everything for like... two minutes straight. thats not hard, dude.

my final conclusion is that this game feels like its chasing trends from the time and doesnt hold up as a result. maybe itd feel less like that if the game didnt have the same "look at me im so dark and yucky" vibe that every newgrounds game had? like, the premise of kidnapping a zombie and making them play wipeout is already bleak enough, you dont have to make the antagonist jontron with acne and litter the game with ads for meat-flavoured dentists or whatever the fuck.

to close this off, i think this whole thing can be summarized by saying if you know about this game in the current year, at least if youre anything like me, you probably know about markiplier losing his shit

whats at the end? ...a facebook link, to a page trying to kickstart an ARG that fizzled out due to lack of interest and seemed to just be a roundabout reference to a creepypasta from almost 15 years ago.

alright

[homonculos]

sorry to longpost complain. aita at my workplace (i kno im not im j mad)

my boss is so fucking annoying.... i had an informal performance review with him yesterday and here's how it went:

boss: how do you think youre doing?

me: um ok i think? im still getting my feet under me but im enjoying it so far [been abt 2 months since i started]

boss: yea youre doing a great job. so uh what happened w the car break in? [company property was stolen in the process]

[i explain the story; expressly indicate that i want to make it right, including fulfilling a clause in the equipment policy that says the $ to buy new equipment can be taken out of my next paycheck. boss is incredulous; says that is likely not necessary. im relieved.]

boss: so it seems like youre having trouble with [z], so i sent you some ideas.

me: i saw that email, looks great. ill take a look at those in the coming weeks. also, here's a long list of ideas that i got from a different meeting this morning.

boss: oh, looks great. ok. any other questions for me?

me: um not really. i guess i'd ask, do you want me to focus more on X or Y? [the long list of ideas i brought to meeting are all X-related]

boss: uh well i guess both when you can. we haven't had much X lately since i started running this operation, so that's welcome. feel free to work on things i cover as well [his stuff is mostly Y].

me: ok, ill start looking into Y and X things as they come around. another question, is 3 projects/week still an ok productivity level for you?

boss: uh i dont know where you got that idea. 5/week is what we all aim for. that shouldnt be a problem for you since you did 3 projects/day at your last job.

me: oh ok, ill start doing more.

boss: yea i dont know where you got that idea. i help out where i can [meaning he writes a couple 6 sentence paragraphs/week and calls those complete projects] but everyone does 5/week. that shouldnt be a problem for you.

me: its not a problem! i just didnt know. ill start aiming for that.

EPILOGUE

i turned in a project later that afternoon. the project in question follows a very contentious, months-long event that has disrupted the community our org works with and resulted in two major leadership changes. no response from boss when i notify him.

at 7pm boss replies to me:

[paraphrasing] "i appreciate you researching this and handing in a complete project, but it could have just been a 6 sentence paragraph." [end paraphrase]"

8:45 am this morning, unprompted: (direct quote, excluding brackets for privacy)

"not sure where you heard 3 [projects] a week. Even [colleague 1] does that many and he edits 2 days a week. He sometimes does 5. [colleague 2] and [colleague 3] both do 5-10 [projects] a week. Anyway, since you did 3 [projects] a day at your last job I don't think that should be a problem for you. It's really easy to do a project in 8 hours. In fact most [projects] we do should take half that time. Even long and complicated [projects] shouldn't take longer than 2-3 days."

is it just me or was this not a problem until I BROUGHT IT UP.... like u have every right to be mad at me if i wasnt doing something u wanted me to do. but you have to TELL ME TO DO IT FIRST!!!!

also we already talked about this in person??? why are you repeating yourself and chastising me???

fucking boomers man. this guy retires at the end of the year fortunately but its really annoying to deal with him. it's been problems ever since the beginning too.

and as an addendum, i have a friend who is fighting for their dreams to get into grad school right now, and im so proud and so so so jealous. and they love their job right now too! its renewing their interest in our shared field! im so happy for them but im so bitter that i made a life-changing choice a year ago and its turning out like this. i should journal! i need to journal ack

[arolegos]

befotr tje day ends. I need like to Recap the stupid ass shit that happned today .

ok so . today (saturday), we had a test scheduled. HSK — it's a mandarin language test to examine chinese proficiency (think the mandarin version of IELTS) . yes I have a Lot of issues of it taking place on a saturday and in the first week of school, but i digress. i had accepted that this would happen last semester.

the examination takes place in a building just a little bit over an hour away from my house. whatever. ive driven to further places, thats not an issue. the test is scheduled to start at 9 and end at 12 but we're expected to arrive before 8 (to register our IDs n documents), so i wake up at 6 to get ready and drive off at 7. Not the worst either; i usually wake up earlier on normal school days.

FIRST ISSUE THAT ARISES. THE FUCKING TEACHERS WERE LATE.?.??? They were the mfs BITCHING on us to be early or else we'd get our names crossed off (meaning we'd have to Pay for the exam. that theyre FORCING US TO TAKE. I DONT FUCKING NEED HSK????? ONLY A FEW STUDENTS IN OUR GRADE DO?? LIKE. 5 IN TOTAL? IM NOT GOING TO A COLLEGE THAT REQUIRES HSK OR TOEFL. A MAJORITY OF MY CLASSMATES DONT NEED THIS. AND. they SWAPPED our mandarin topics from the casual one we were used to, to THIS.) . WHATEVER, YOU KNOW? i laughed it off w some friends while they distributed the paper documents to us. guess i gotta wait longer in line now because theyre late. whatever, try lining up for a ride in an amusement park, right? thereve been worse

test starts. i definitely flopped. not an issue, i already Knew id suck ass. my mandarin is INCREDIBLY limited and i can hardly hold a conversation (yes yes embarrassing as someone of chinese descent). a few people were held back because their computers lagged or shut down; fortunately, mine did not. laughed about my very likely 7/100 expected results with my friends. laughed at our answers (mine that was straight up ": (" because i forgot the pinyin for a word and couldnt put it down; my friend who wrote "我吃勺子" (i eat spoon); my friend who wrote "她喜欢他因为他给她一张纸" (she liked him because he gave her a piece of paper); my friend who forgot the word watermelon and literally wrote "我吃红水果用勺子." (i eat (the) red fruit with a spoon)

second test starts. its HSKK this time (speaking test). again, already knew id flop. it took me like 5 questions to realise i was meant to repeat what the speaker was saying into the mic for the first part (to clarify: the audio file does Not repeat for questions meaning i Missed those), and misread a question on the last that read "what activity is good for your body (physically)?" as "what activity do you like?", so my answer was "i like drawing". Laughed this off; me and my friends exchanged our stupid ass answers (some fun examples that i couldnt stop laughing at: when asked to repeat a sentence, my friend answered with her name; when asked to describe a situation where a woman is running late, my friend described what she wore; when asked "what activity is good for your body", my friend answered "my hair and face"; my friend who, when asked his chinese name, responded with "小妹")

30 minute break passes s'all fun joy and laughter. im in a great mood . amazing even.

fun heehees and hahas. great time overall tbh, even though i was for sure getting at most 12/100

and then Boom Im in despair

the staff entered the room and called 7 candidate numbers. Then he said; "Okay, you guys are free to leave. The rest of you, your tests had an error."

EXCUSE ME? 7? 7 OUT OF, WHAT, 90? ONLY 7 PEOPLE DIDNT GET AN ERROR?

WHAT ARE THE CHANCES THAT 4 OF THEM WERE MY FRIENDS?????

HELLO. THIS IS A PLACE SPECIFICALLY MEANT TO FACILITATE FOR AN ONLINE EXAM. .? WHY ARE THE COMPUTERS BREAKING.WHY ARE THE SERVERS LAGGING.....

WHAT.ever. NO issue. delay, that doesnt matter. still had other friends nearby so i left my seat to talk to them. 10 minutes pass and they try to restart every computers HSK software one by one — MINE for some reason REFUSED to close. WHATEVER. i just stayed with my friends for a bit longer.

40 MINUTES PASS. IM ON THE FLOOR LITERALLY PRAYING TO BUDDHA AND EVERY OTHER GOD IN THE UNIVERSE. I HAVE BLOOD STREAMING DOWN MY FACE I FEEL LIKE IM ABOUT TO TURN INTO ERROR SANS and then it works.

it closes after maybe 15 minutes. Okay. Thats fine. they boot up the software. Guess what fucking happens guess what hapIT LAGS. IT FUCKING LAGS IT GETS STUCK ON THE LOADINGFUCKING SCREEN. GUYS I FELT LIKE IT WAS 2020 AGAIN AND I WAS BOOTING UP GENSHIN IMPACT ON MY ON-THE-VERGE-OF-EXPLODING, DIY-BOMB LAPTOP, AND I WAS STUXK ON THE BRIDGE LOADIBG SCREEN. ALL MY FRIENDS? FUXKING CLEAR. THEY WERE FINE . IT WAS LITERALLY JUST ME.

Yay! 55 minutes of waiting ❤️ 80% of everyone who got an error has left, bc they already reloaded back and did the questions that were deleted off bc of the error. Test loads. im expecting to have to retake 2-3 questionsWRONG!!!!!

I HAD TO RETAKE NONE. ALL MY ANSWERS SAVED. IT JUST DECIDED TO ERROR AT THE VERG LAST SECOND I GUESS? BC ALLL MY ANSWERS WERE STILL THERE????????? i actually killed myself

my dad is there. I say hi, ask him if we're going home. he says NO. He Tells me we're waiting til 4 pm because my younger sister also had a HSK test scheduled today, but from 1 til 4 instead of my 9 to 12. Ok... i tell him thats Fine.

i submit and LEAVE. i CRY BLOOD AS I LEAVE. I GET OUT OF THE EXAM ROOM AT 1 PM. 1 PM. WHAT THE HELLwhatever.

friend leaves at 4 exact. i say Bye and smile and im happy as Fuck and then IM NOT. i look to my left and see my sisters classmages leaving; yay! yippe! fun! i get to finally leave this fucking place!

spent 1-2 hrs with my friends walking around the streets and then walking to a mall . my feet were killing me but the food we ate was GREAT. i had a fun fun time with my friends!!! since they were there when i discussed that w my dad, they had scheduled to leave at 4.

2 people get out and no more comes.

MY STOMACH SINKS.

guess what happened to my sister.Guess what happeTHE SAME SHIT HAPPEBED TO HER. COMPUTERS AND SERVERS WERE LAGGING AND CRASHING FUCKKKK OFFFFFFF

[darealsaltysam]

I WATCHED THE ELECTION RESULTS STREAM (once more, wilbur’s pov) AND OH GOD THIS IS PAIN

1. HOLY SHIT SCHLATT’S LAUGH NEVER FAILS TO DISSAPOINT 

2. god the banishment.... wilbur and tommy running into the woods through the night... niki being the only one to speak up against schlatt... tubbo being pulled into it all... GOD ITS SO GOOD WHY IS IT SO GOOD

3. techno’s tweet sounds like something that would be posted together with a promotional poster for a movie where a beloved character comes back, absolutely brilliant mr. blade

4. GOD THE WHOLE WALL SECTION. WILBUR SINGING, TALKING ABOUT HIS SON, NIKI SEEING HIM FROM THE DISTANCE AND HIM WALKING AWAY, GOD IT WAS ALL SO PERFECT ???????????

5. wilbur has trust issues aimed specifically at americans (and eret) because of everything that happened now, this poor boy cant even trust the blade 

6. “I’m gonna make schlatt pay for this”

7.  THEM PLANNING TO TAKE OFF THE UNIFORMS IS SO SAD BUT ITS ALSO SO IMPORTANT TO EVERYTHING GOD IM SCREAMING (also “i can’t go back to my old skin wilbur, it has schlatt’s suit and it HURTS”)

8. TECHNOBLADE IS GONNA TRAIN THE BOYS !!!!!!!!!!

9. wilbur trusting tommy with his diamond armor just shows how far theyve come... and... “i trust you, youre the best right hand man i could have ever asked for”, AAAAAAAAAAA

10. technoblade cant roleplay and hes just there with his monotone voice... i mean go off king, we stan a man whos done with all this shit and just wants to stab some people. and this quote of them talking about their past on the earthsmp specifically shows it;

tommy, all emotional: good talking to you again big man

techno:

techno: 

techno: didn’t we just talk yesterday?

11. EVERYONE’S REACTION TO TECHNO LOGGING ON IS GOLD, LIKE NIKI THERE IN CHAT GETTING ALL EXCITED KNOWING THERE’S A CHANCE FOR L’MANBURG I LOVE HER-

12. wilbur breaking down over the destruction of l’manburg while schlatt wanders below, with tommy pulling techno away and telling him to give wilbur space- god why is all of this so CINEMATIC? ITS JUST MINECRAFT-

13. SCHLATT SAYING HE’LL CHANGE THE NAME OF THE COUNTRY AND NIKI TELLING HIM HE CANT DO IT AND SCREAMING AND HIM TELLING HER TO SHUT UP IS AN ACTUAL MOVIE SCENE THIS IS A MOVIE THIS ISNT MINECRAFT ANYMORE THIS IS-

14. “you’re going to pay for this” - why did niki sound so menacing when she said that what the fuck?????????? i didnt know this pure little sunshine could do that????????????

15. manburg??? MANBURG????? 

MANBURG??????

16. “TECHNOBLADE STOP LOOKING AT THE FUCKING DOG”

17. just...

Wilbur: Tubbo, can you be my Hercules Mulligan?

Tubbo: I can get the information and then smuggle it! :D

Tubbo: I got that reference! :DDDD

18. the first time wilbur said something mean/aggressive to tommy in this stream was when he mentioned talking to schlatt.... like im sorry if that doesnt tell you everything you need to know about the relationships of these three i dont know what will

19. TECHNO POTATO FARM BOTTOM TEXT

20. quackity broke nihachu out of prison?????? are they on the same side???? could it be quackity realized that being by schlatt’s side is a bit more than he bargained for?????? the intrigue....

21. “this is what i listened to with jschlatt on what should have been his only night on this server” okay tommy COMING ON A LITTLE STONG THERE-

22. another gold quote...

Techno: If I see an opportunity to assassinate the president, do I take it?

Tommy: Yes!

Wilbur: No! Absolutely not!

Tommy: Right, of course not!

23. TYLER “NINJA” BLEVINS???? THE TYLER “NINJA” BLEVINS???? ON DA DREAMSMP IN A WEEK?????? 

24. wilbur calling the country manburg and immediately throwing up is about what i expected from this “peace talk” 

25. wilbur i know you have trust issues now but if you don’t risk techno on your side you will literally die there is no other outcome to this honey please let yourself be helped jfc

26. the gang desperately trying to come up with a name while low-key getting sad over loosing l’manburg and techno just in the background going “if that’s our name im switching sides” and “my standards are low but not that low” has energy i cant quite place but i love it

27. pogtopia it is i guess????

28. tommy and wilbur getting straight up dreamsmp war ptsd when they found the bunker they hid in is some, once more, movie-tier stuff. i mean, what else to do when the heroes are already down than to beat them down further?

29. “go potato boy go!!!” 

30. god this whole stream was.... such a ride... holy shit... and this is only the START of this new arc??????? BOY I AM HYPED. like, MORE HYPED THAN IVE EVER BEEN FOR ANY SMP BEFORE

on another note... the new guy, huh? that must have been a wild ride for your first day on the smp.... hope you stick around, hbomb

[parcoeurs]

Extremely fascinated by your wag AU tag 👀.

thanks bestie so am i.

okay lmao so this isn't an actual fic that'll ever be written but. i was talking to my friend about it who still hasn't finished dts season 3 unfortunately but it means that i've switched around ages and years etc. i promise this has the potential to be a fun and sexy time but there's just s o much background shit that needs to be discussed. tw for mentions of irl deaths etc:

but pierre & charles meeting when they're 5-6 (which is what i think charles actually says irl but someone said it might've been closer to when they were 10-11? regardless.) and charles' dad passes away when they're 9-10, and jules when they're 13-14 and charles quits racing then. (fyi i know that irl jules passed away first)

he thinks about quitting when his dad passes away but keeps going with help from jules. so when the accident etc happens, it's not even like an active decision he ponders. he just knows there's no way he'll race again.

and pierre's been with him throughout everything, his best friend who he can talk to when he can't bear looking at his own family. so he doesn't understand when pierre tells him he's going to keep racing. when charles had told him he was never going to get into a kart ever again, pierre had nodded, grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight. important to note that they're barely teenagers rn so yes charles feels betrayed that pierre isn't feeling the same things he is and isn't choosing the same future for himself etc.

they have a huge fight, lots of crying, lots of dramatic teenage angst. but it ultimately ends with charles shutting pierre out of his life. which is easier said than done when it's your best friend whose family is super close with yours. but it works because pierre is off racing around the world and charles has done all he can to never have to think about that stuff.

so charles goes to school, is doing uni somewhere in europe. studies something generic like business or maybe if i'm feeling suuuuper indulgent i will have him major in environmental studies like moi <3 pointedly does not come to monaco during grand prix weekend or the week before or the week after.

and then anthoine passes away too. (they're 20-21 now)

they see each other again at the funeral but don't talk, they meet up afterwards. pierre breaking down in charles' arms, clutching at his back, telling him he was right. pierre should've quit, he can't do this anymore either. they haven't said a word to each other in 7 years but charles still knows pierre, and knows that this isn't actually what pierre wants. or what he should do. (charles vaguely knows pierre's in f1 but doesn't know he's with redbull, doesn't know redbull's the top team etc)

"you can still do this, you will," charles tells him.

"not without you again."

so then comes the challenge of mending their relationship while still working through the shared trauma, and the Layers of past trauma. and also just the general awkwardness that comes with a friendship breakup/makeup situation you know! they can't just act like nothing happened but would it be easier that way?

they start texting first, then they play fifa or cod together. (sometimes pierre's british friend lewis joins too.)

slowly slowly slowly, they become friends again and then inseparable too. maybe even closer than they were before and charles only now realizes how much he missed pierre. while pierre still can't believe he has charles back now, it's as good as he let himself imagine.

the part i'm unsure about is if i would want pierre's career trajectory to be the same or not. because i think the demotion adds SUCH a painful but interesting aspect to his ~storyline. but ultimately i think maybe he just doesn't get the second seat immediately. spends more years with toro rosso/alpha tauri before getting "called up" (sorry i have no idea what the proper terminology is haha ignore the nba/nhl terms).

he invites charles to his first race in the red bull and charles says no. immediately. pierre's quiet on the other side of the phone, internally thinking he messed this up somehow. he thought things were going well and he takes this as charles doesn't want to see him. but he knows there's a lot more that's stopping charles and he also knows charles will definitely pull back if pierre asks about the other stuff. so he moves right along, asking charles about school, the weather, and tries not to let it show in his voice that he misses his best friend and needs him too.

"i'm going to try to watch," charles says, after pierre's yawned goodnight through the phone and is waiting for him to hang up. because you know pierre's not going to hang up first.

"what?"

"the race. i'm going to try. goodnight!" mentally charles slams the phone shut but really he just smashes at the red button before shoving it under his bed and looking at his hands trying to get answers for what he just did.

his only relief is that he didn't promise pierre he would watch, just that he would try. couldn't even choke out a, "good luck." (insert long paragraph about charles letting pierre down or thinking he has).

he only watches qualifying. pierre p3. already knows on saturday that there's no way he can watch the actual race.

but on sunday when he's supposed to be going over his notes for his climate change science & policy course (yes.... i did it...) he finds himself with his heart in his mouth refreshing formula1 dot com. watches the random names move up and down while keeping his eyes on 10 - gasly. (starts shaking for a second when he sees pierre's name drop until the IN PIT sign comes up across his name. fellas the thing about triggers is-- anyways.)

the scariest part is that by the time he's scrolled through all of red bull's socials to look at pictures of pierre on the podium (he finished p2 sorry i know this truly does not matter), he's forgotten about the race. the anxiety sits small in the back of his throat, his happiness for pierre is bright and loud in front of him. charles sends him a message, asking him to call whenever he can and adds a blue & red heart emoji which feels like a Big Step. but basically pierre calls and acts like nothing has happened since the last time they talked. mentions the breakfast he had in detail as if he didn’t get a podium in his first race with red bull. finally with a big team. but charles embarrassingly realizes that maybe his text didn't exactly imply in literally any way whatsoever that he knows the results of the race and was trying to congratulate pierre with this call. charles probably feels so embarrassed at this point but somehow still can't manage to say anything about the race until the next day maybe.

maybe texts pierre, good job. or, you were great. or something about him and not the race. or maybe reposts a picture from red bull but not one of pierre in his car, pointedly. only one of him on the podium. and pierre probably reposts it with the squid emoji and/or my favourite sentence in the world, merci petit calamaro.

charles cries when he reads it.

not to be lazy now but [insert 10k words of them building their friendship. meeting up in monaco with both of their families. meeting in milan or london or paris idk where pierre would live. but he flies charles out. not on a private jet because charles flat out refused lol. not because he's an environmentally conscious king he's just too, embarrassed? overwhelmed? by pierre doing Things Like That for him. even though he wants it lol. like when he graduates he's soooo annoyed that pierre couldn't come celebrate immediately because it was race week. but when he comes home his apartment is filled with flowers (roses, his favourite) and balloons and a giant teddy bear as tall as charles. and he DOES post 12 instagram stories to go with the other 30 from his other friends congratulating him. so yeah charles goes through a lot of personal growth and therapy. to the point where he's watching pierre race again, and waiting for him to invite him to a race again!!! do not even think about actual dates i'm fucking begging you but the one he goes to is monza :))))]

ultimately charles' path to understand/accepting/moving on from, his trauma, happens once he has pierre back in his life. it's also encouraged by pierre, but it's also not entirely because of him. not sure how to word that but yeah. these things are happening at the same time but charles still has to go through them by himself.

pierre takes him on romantic dates all around the world and charles doesn't realize that's what they are. fully in his bestie vibes only mood while pining for pierre in a way he doesn't even quite understand. almost a self deprecating, jeez whoever gets to date pierre is going to be so lucky :/

fanpage on ig: met pierre's alleged bf he's so pretty and sweet, i complimented his shoes and he was so nice. charles reading that: i didnt know he was dating someone :( why wouldn't he tell me :( well at least someone complimented my shoes today :(

pierre doesn't necessarily think they're dating, but he does know charles doesn't quite realize what they're doing so he's just waiting for him to come to terms with it.

not to give this au 10 different subplots but yeah that miscommunication plot becomes our prize for surviving through the first part of this.

but yeah at the last race of the year, that pierre wins because i said so? charles finds him before he goes on to the podium, kisses his helmet. says i love you, i'm so proud of you.

THEN, finally, charles does become pierre's wag. we made it kids. we did it joe.

[pluviophile-imagines]

Could I ask what your sexuality headcanons are? I love comparing mine with other peoples’!

Ok second half of this; this is just like. non-students who i Actually have thought about HJBAFV not at all a comprehensive list. Again disclaimer i write all these chars as bi in my fics, also i am bi myself so the vast majority are also bi, and also leaving a lot of these vague so u can imagine ur favorite ship or urself or w/ever

ok lets start this off with Aizawa. I think....... hes another one who's rlly unlabelled, doesnt super care to think it through and define it, but calls himself gay bc his interest in women is very, very rare and it's just way easier to say than explain all that. Definitely do buy into the idea that he had a crush on Oboro in hs but i do NOT buy into the easermic agenda sorry. Definitely not someone who goes looking for dates, but doesn't say no if someone asks him and hes interested (also im not gonna give her a whole section but i saw a hc a while back that the Ms. Joke stuff is literally that shes a lesbian and hes gay and shes fucking with him and i love that so much i just wanted to put it out there)

on the topic of the erasermic agenda: Hizashi's pan and knew it before HS, had a sudden & intense crush on Aizawa for the first month they knew each other and then immediately got over it in favor of a similar sudden, intense, and then immediately fading crush on Midnight. Hizashi and Aizawa r just rlly good friends imo; maybe they messed around for a bit in their twenties but it never went anywhere serious. He dates around a lot, not even necessarily to settle down just to have some fun

Midnight is aro/ace but does get in qprs & gravitates towards women wrt that. Most people dont read vigilantes but theres a woman in that, Kazuho, who i imagine she's been in a long-term qpr with; her relationship with aizawa and hizashi leans a little more towards a qpr than a normal friendship, too, but it's not rlly defined that way

All Might is married to justice queer but v much not interested in relationships. He and that one guy from the first movie are ABSOLUTELY exes and i won't hear otherwise; it's the only relationship he's ever had, and they broke up bc he had to go back to japan. He was heartbroken but did eventually get over him; his lack of romance afterwards is from genuine disinterest and not being hung up on his past. I can see him finding someone else in his later years, after he's retired. Definitely feels like he's not worthy of it tho

Hawks is bi but unfortunately didn't get to figure that out until like Now in the timeline...... if youll let my dabihawks history shine through i think dabi was the reason JHBASFGJHB he was basically brainwashed by the commission to become a hero so he didnt have time to Figure That Shit Out; he knew he was into women bc that was easy & what the commission expected from him but then he started this undercover assignment and met dabi and realized Oh...... Fuck. Hawks is hard tbh, bc i think between the control that the commission has over him and his own convictions as a hero he doesn't pursue any romance (tho he does get crushes or find people attractive) and most of his flings are done to keep up his prettyboy act, not out of genuine interest in being a fuckboy. Can't imagine him having a relationship until well after canon but I do see him being interested eventually

Onto the villains, Shigaraki is unlabelled but probably would call himself queer if asked. Definitely admires women more but isn't very interested in romance; AFO actively encourages him to pursue the things interested in so imo if he were he'd talk abt it more lmfao. I kinda see him as demi as well, not the type to fall immediately but requiring a friendship beforehand; tho unlike Bakugo as i said in my last post I dont think it happens suddenly but rather slowly. Y'all know im a big fan of shigaraki being absolutely whipped for his s/o so i do thing hes a big piner, tho he's also pretty bold and unashamed of his affections. I'm a big fan of him falling for a member of the league or a civilian; definitely can't see him falling for a hero unless the hero was already halfway to turning sides already. I think he's also attracted to intelligence and someone who pushes him to think more abt his ideology...... maybe im just projecting at this point JSHDFBVAJKSHD but my point is that the gender of his partner is definitely the least of what he considers/notices

Dabi is bi and, here's my bold take, demisexual; not interested in sex unless its with someone he loves. Absolutely doesn't even think abt romance for most of the years where he's on his own. He's got revenge to plan. By the time he joins the league that hasn't changed much, and he's demi so he's not interested in sleeping around, plus he rlly denies any attachment to people at all. As I said in that other ask tho I do rlly like the idea of him with Magne, so I think they have a fling for a bit before her death :( it's one of the things that leads him to isolate himself further, unfortunately, even from Jin and the other League members with whom his relationships aren't romantic. I can see him dating someone post-canon bc i think hes gonna be redeemed lol. It could be someone he knew before but they probably didnt date again bc he was v guarded; i think magne was rlly the only person he dated

Magne is pan and heres the kicker: I think shes t4t, which led to a little moment just before she and dabi got together where he was like "she wouldnt be into me :/" but she was into him anyway so all was good. She got around in her circles, mostly casual stuff tho she yearned for something more serious.

Spinner's bi & trends towards women but does occasionally get things for men and they're almost always intense. He thought he was straight for a while even once he joined the league and then suddenly got a crush on Shigaraki (around the time of MVA) and realized otherwise LMFAO he's definitely a hopeless romantic type, the whole mutant prejudice thing makes it rlly hard for him and i can see him being rlly happy with another mutant-type; i feel like as he matures he starts to gravitate towards them

Toga is canonically pan to my understanding, iirc her interest in Uraraka and Deku is the same (and romantic) in canon tho i might be wrong. Poor girl just needs therapy. I like the idea of the two of them becoming her friends over her being involved with them but i totally can get behind her having a thing with Uraraka (and maybe Tsu) at some point post-canon (presuming she gets redeemed), tho I think a qpr between the two/three of them would be longer lasting. And again presuming she gets therapy i can see her settling down with someone, gender irrelevant

Jin is unlabelled bc he hasn't much thought abt it, definitely had a thing for dabi and for hawks which does make me sad on both counts. I think he likes women slightly more abstractly/aesthetically and gets crushes more on men,. The dabi thing fades as they get closer and start to view each other as brothers. In his later years he doesn't rlly care about romance, I think he enjoys the experience of crushing but doesnt like dating people; his found family in the League is far more important to him. But i can see him falling head-over-heels for someone quite suddenly and having a bit of a whirlwind romance. Also someone for whom gender isn't much of a factor

Mr Compress is also queer and also hasn't rlly thought abt it. Definitely leans more towards women; he's like 30 but i like to think he also goes for older partners, 10 or 15 years his senior KJBADSJFHB idk he just has that Vibe with the way he calls himself an old man etc. A lot of the league i cant see sleeping or dating around much, i feel like they prioritize each other, but I do think mr compress gets around more than the others. i can see him having a bit of a fuckbuddy who he catches feelings for

Kurogiri is fun; as Oboro I do think Aizawa's crush was reciprocated, tho he wasn't around long enough for them to act on it :( he's bi, tho kurogiri isn't supposed to have personal interests. I like to imagine the brainwashing isnt as good as AFO wants it to be tho so I like the idea of him falling for someone anyway. I also like the idea of the heroes managing to undo the nomufication and I 100% can see him, aizawa, and someone else (someone he was involved with as Kurogiri) ending up in a triad as a result of aizawa and the third partner helping him through the aftermath of all that shit

Lady Nagant is a manga-only minor character but im in love with her so imma talk abt it. Shes bi and leans VERY heavily towards women, probably spent years questioning whether she was rlly bi or a lesbian before finally having a fling with a guy that she genuinely enjoyed. Has only ever been in long-term relationships with women and I v much think she has a gf at home who stayed even when she was arrested 🥺

Finally imma talk abt Natsuo bc i love that boy. He's one of the few unmarried chars with a love interest and he canonically has a gf. I do see him as IDing straight in canon ngl, but the kind of straight where he might actually be bi but his preference leans so heavily towards women and he grew up in a bad home so he just doesnt rlly think abt it bc hes v happy with women anyway. In shiganatsu thoughts shigaraki is the first man he has a thing for; i rlly can see the two of them in a triad with a woman specifically, who helps the two of them find each other and is the one who initiates bc its definitely a weird situation for natsuo

[milkacchan]

Request for anon: Omegaverse prompt 10 with omega Midorya and Alpha reader

Prompt 10= You made.....a nest...for us?

Midoriya had been especially grumpy today. You weren't sure why, you couldn't get it out of him. He wouldn't tell you what was bothering you so much.

It didnt do much for your Alpha side, it made you grumpy. Your omega was upset and he wouldn't tell you why which meant you couldn't do anything about it! And fuck, you wanted to do something about it, you hated seeing him like that.

You stared at him from across the room, nibbling at your lunch. You weren't very hungry anymore, your appetite ruined by your mind racing. Maybe he just needed space- maybe he just needed some breathing room.

You were too clingy. Too Alpha. You were smothering him, that's it. Simple solution, you'd get him flowers and chocolate and when he was ready you'd give them to him- but that wouldn't work either. That'd still be too smothering. Still too fucking Alpha.

Was it the way you spoke? Maybe your scent- did he not like it anymore- he thought it was too overwhelming. That had to be it.

Maybe it wasn't about you- maybe it was about something else and you were just making it about you and taking away from your in need omega, but maybe THAT was it. That you always made it about you-

You growled, low and quiet, looking down.

"What's your fuckin damage shit brain?" Bakugou mumbled, looking up at you with his eyebrows furrowed.

"Nothing, nothing."

"That's a fucking lie."

"Its not a fucking lie." You bit back, harsher than you intended.

He rolled his eyes, unaffected by your tone of voice. "I can smell it. It's a lie."

You paused, looking at your shoes again and kicking the ground. Should you tell him? "Later." You mumbled.

Kirishima glanced at you. "Why can't you tell us here?"

"Too many people. It's not a big deal. Don't worry about it."

"Fine. But you're telling me later. You don't have a choice. It's pathetic seeing you pout."

"Aww Katsu you care." You put a hand to your chest, dramatically leaning foward. "I knew it. All these years- secretly-"

"Fuck off that's not what I meant," The blonde huffed, crossing his arms and sending a sharp kick to your shin. You groaned.

"We all speak emotionally constipated, 'mega. You can't fool us." Kirishima flicked his ear. "And say sorry."

Katsukis face flushed red and you grinned along with Kirishima.

"Got em." You teased, sticking out your tongue.

"Shut the fuck up."

You looked at the two as they bickered- well more Katsuki elbowing and threatening Kirishima while Kiri just smiled lovingly.

Your best friends- two of them anyway, the rest were probably still getting lunch, or walking around. Relaxing before sparrs next period. You packed away your lunch, slipping it into your bag and then leaning your head against the wall behind you, trying to think of something else. Trying to calm the frustration that threatened to bubble up.

You were Katsukis favorite sparring partner. Mostly because you never took it easy on him- you'd go all out, regardless of the fact that he was an omega. And that made for good training sessions. It tended to be vice versa as well, Katsuki was your favorite sparr partner. You could say what you wanted- go all out and keep going.

So, when buddies were called out, and you two were not sparring together- you made the silent agreement to stay after class hours and sparr. He nodded in your direction you looked back at Aizawa, waiting patiently for him to dismiss the class to begin training.

You weren't very interested in what he had to say, not really. You were itching to get moving, your temper no better than it had been earlier. But you needed to stay calm. You couldn't get carried away with todays current partners. You wouldn't.

When he dismissed you, you'd wish good luck to your omega and get situated with tokoyami. You nodded to yourself- approving your mental plans as you heard the clap to get started.

"Good luck 'Zuku." You smiled gently at him.

He looked at you, only giving you a nod, to which you inwardly groaned. You were upset now. What the fuck had you done that was so bad? You shook your head- the exchange hadn't gone unnoticed by Katsuki.

"You ready?" Tokoyami looked at you as you stepped into your training space.

"Whenever you are." You nodded to him and he nodded back.

"Good luck."

"You too." You grinned, getting ready.

Training dragged on. And on. And on.

You lost to Tokoyami- you were so close to the win- so close you could taste it, but dark shadow ripped the victory from your hands with little trouble and grinned at your loss.

Next was Kaminari, poor boy thought he had it. Went straight for his big attack but was sorely mistaken. He thought you could no longer redirect your attacks- figuring that this would take you out, only it didn't. It backfired and he was hit instead. He was out of commission in minutes.

Then was Momo, and she was close to victory. She's smarter than you, her strategies work well- but you were competitive and you were pissed, so with that combo, the unfortunate Alpha didn't stand a chance.

Last but not least- Shouto. Shouto Todoroki had a similar power to yours. He could use ice and fire. You, could use all the elements around you. Air, fire, earth, water- you know how it goes. Both you and Todoroki were strong- because of this fact- it felt like the fight lasted ages, but you still lost. He caught you off guard and used that to his advantage, projecting one last attack before it was over. You wiped the blood from your cheek and looked up at him. He held out a hand and you thankfully took it.

You avoided walking towards the front of the group, towards where Izuku was, as Aizawa called you all together, instead falling back to where Kirishima and Bakugou were. His daily class speech before he let everyone go.

"Why aren't you with pip squeak?" Bakugou whispered, keeping his eyes on Aizawa. The last thing he wanted was to be yelled at. He didn't have the patience for that.

"Shut up." You grumbled.

"You two in a fight?"

"No. Now shut up. We're gonna get in trouble." You jabbed him in the side and he glared at you but ultimately shut up.

"Any questions?" Aizawa looked around. "All right then, class dismissed."

You and Katsuki turned, walking back into the ring. You ignored that fact that Izuku had just left- you'd deal with it later. However deal with it went- you weren't sure exactly how you'd deal with it to be honest. But right know you didn't care.

"I'm not going easy on you just because you're having a rough day." Katsuki growled.

"I don't want you too. Use everything in your power to try to pummel me."

"Tap out if you need to."

"I won't." You shed yourself of your shirt, leaving you in just a sports bra. You readied yourself and so did he. The two of you stood still for a few moments, before he charged. You were counting on his, stepping to the left and lifting a column of earth. It hit him in the stomach and sent him flying back.

"Brat!"

"Watch out, dummy!"

Bakugou had never been scared of you. You'd never acted particularly like an Alpha, at least not like an aggressive one. You'd always had the urge to provide. You smelled nice, not like some of the others who's scent was so overwhelming he felt sick- he never had a reason to be scared of you. But the look in your eyes and the way you charged at him, made his stomach sink and his heart fumble. His fight or flight kicked in, he caught your head, stopping your movement and slammed you into the ground.

He hadn't meant to, not hard- but there was something seriously wrong. You used two fingers to tap his wrist twice. Tap out.

"Fuck- I'm- I didn't mean to go that hard-"

"I told you too. No big deal." You sat up, leaning towards against your knees. The left side of your face was bleeding. Your cheek bone was bruised pretty bad. You were both beat up pretty bad, which would probably result in a scolding from respective partners.

"What's your problem. You went pretty hard today. You stink."

"Well we were just working out-"

"No. You stink." He sat next to you, ignoring the Alpha smell that was currently flooding the room. It was sour and heavy, not your usual smell. And he fucking hated it. It was overwhelming.

"Oh." You sighed. "Katsuki do you think I'm a bad Alpha?"

His gaze snapped to you. "Absolutely not. Who the fuck gave you that idea? Deku?"

"No. Just..answer."

"No, I already said no. You're not my Alpha, but even with my bullshit as kids, you were always there. Before we even presented. You're not a bad Alpha."

You nodded slightly.

"And I've seen the way you take care of fucking Deku. If he's got a problem with you, that's all him." He huffed and stood up. "C'mon. I'm tired and I promised shitty hair head after school."

"Katsuki." You took a deep breath. "PLEASE eat shit and die."

"You wish. You're just jealous that he gets head and you don't."

"Please! You like giving head because of me."

"Oh fuck off."

The warm water cascading down your back felt like heaven. You felt your muscles ease and the sour smell of stress dull. After today, this was what you sorely needed. It was calm, refreshing and you were thankful for the time alone. Steam rose and cleared your nose and throat, the headache that had started to build slipped away. You tilted your head back, letting the water drown your hair in warmth. The conditioner washed out in small cream bubbles slipping down your back. You ran your hands through your hair until you were sure at least the majority was gone.

You felt fresh now as you turned off the water. Shaved and clean.

You grabbed a towel and wrapped your hair. It felt tight in the wrap. You grabbed a second one and dried your body off, wrapping the towel around you body. It was small, almost too small, not even fully covering your ass. You stepped out, closing the door behind you. You dried off again before slipping into your clothes. You discarded both towels into the bin by the door and picked up your phone from the shelf. There were multiple texts from Izuku, it made your heart lurch.

'Can you come to my room? Please? I have something to show you'

'Baby? You there?'

'I'm sorry for making you upset today but I really need you to come here'

'Please'

Fuck- these were all from at least an hour ago. And you'd missed them. You knew he'd probably be crying by now, thinking he fucked something up when he really didn't. There was a sharp pain in your chest and made you wince. You needed to get your your omega. You shoved your phone in your back pocket and walked out if the room before breaking into a jog to get to his dorm.

You stopped in front of the door and gently knocked. "Zuku, baby you there?"

Nothing. No answer- almost nothing. You caught the small sniffle from the other side.

"'Mega? Can I come in?" You leaned your forehead against the door, listening carefully. You heard shuffling on the other side, something fell over but the footsteps that led to the door told you it was okay. It clicked open and you were met with his emerald eyes.

"Hey.." he whispered, looking at you.

"I'm sorry love, I was in the shower. And before that I was training with bakugou."

His nose scrunched at the mention of his blonde friend. He was always hit with a twinge if jealousy when the two of you practiced alone. Not that he had a right to- he knew this, especially because he respected Bakugou, genuinely. "That's okay.." he mumbled. "You're all bruised. You're face-"

"Training went pretty hard, but I'm okay."

He slipped out of his room, the door inching shut behind him. He gently touched the bruise, frowning when you flinched. "Babe..." he whined. He leaned up to press a gentle kiss to it. "You have to be careful."

"What's wrong? What's got you all riled up today?" Your voice was soft, filled with concern, practically dripping with it. He stepped back, not missing the fear that flashed in your eyes that he'd leave when he did. He opened the door farther so you could step in. You did so without hesitation, once inside, cupping his cheeks and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. He practically melted into your touch. God- all he really wanted was you, your touch, your comfort, your voice- you. "You're warm. You starting heat early?"

He nodded. "Yeah- I start in 2 days." He mumbled, holding your hand to his cheek. Your hands were cold in contrast to his warm skin. It felt nice.

So that's what it was- he wasn't mad at you at all. He was just stressing over his heat- especially if it was starting early. Most likely, his suppressants wore off. He and his mother both had a high fertility rate, it made him a perfect bearer. It ran in the Midoryia family. "Stressing out?"

Izuku nodded again. "But I built us a nest."

You froze, eyes widened as your heart rate increased. You looked behind you and there it was, in all its glory. A nest big enough for 2, adorned in pillows, blankets, and clothing he'd stolen from you in the year you'd been dating. He even had the 2 stuffed animals you'd gotten him. You looked back at your boyfriend, eyes glowing. "You made...a nest...for us?"

"I hop-hope it's okay. I couldn't get it right and it was frustrating me and I got stressed out. I had take some stuff from your dorm, I'm sorry about that- but I really want you to spend this head with me because I love you and I just want you there-" he rambled, his eyes starting to water. He always did get emotional in the few days leading up to his heat. It was a dead give away. Honestly you were a bit ticked off at yourself for panicking before analyzing the situation completely.

"You want me with you?"

"Yeah, I do." He took you hand and led you towards the nest. He took a step inside it, looking at you. You'd stopped outside it, hesitant to step in too. This was a big mile stone and- "Alpha, come." He tugged your arm gently and you were putty. You stepped in. The padding on the floor made it soft, it wouldn't hurt either of you long term. He could sleep curled up or ride your thigh without the worries of a sore body- at least from the floor.

"There wasnt enough room on the bed." He muttered, sitting down, pulling you to follow his actions. You sat next to him and took his hips, leading them to straddle over your legs. You ran your hands up his thighs, squeezing them gently.

"That's okay. Your nest is so pretty, you did such a good job baby."

"You think so? You like it?" His Omega was taking over, his need to please, his need for you. You could see that much.

"I love it." You hummed, kissing his cheek, moving down to his jaw then his neck. You kissed the supple flesh before breathing in his scent. You ran your nose against the swollen gland in his neck and he moaned softly. He always liked it when the two of you were scenting. He adored it when you smelled like him, telling everyone around you that you were his. He was yours.

"I already- I already have the collar," he breathed, closing his eyes. "I'll leave the key with Tenya until its over."

"Sounds good. You're sure you want me there?"

"I'm sure." He whispered, leaning down to connect his lips with yours.

[words-for-holland]

Happier (10) | T.H.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: After the events of last night, Tom and Y/N are completely heartbroken. More threats are thrown out. Tom leaves???

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

Masterlist

A/N: WOW 10 CHAPTERS ALREADY?! If you made it this far..Thanks for sticking around! What has been your favorite part in the series so far??

Anger

There was no way to describe it. The unsettling feeling erupted between Y/N and Tom after last night. At that point, they weren’t sure of where to go from here, but I guess that’s what happens when one lets their guard down. Once thinking they had a second chance to rebuild what was lost, has now drifted further and further apart.

Y/N knew she should be angry at Unknown, for being the reason why she had to experience heartbreak a second time. Yet, she also couldn’t help but feel anger towards Tom. There had to be a reason behind the kiss, but something inside her didn’t want to let go of the fact that he did kiss Natalie in the end. It wasn’t staged, it wasn’t questionable pictures, it was real and Y/N had the displeasure of seeing it up close.

The images wouldn’t leave her mind, and no one was there to look out for her. Kate was gone, and Harrison and Harry took a weekend for themselves. For the first time ever...it was just her against the world.

Y/N hadn’t moved from her position since she yelled at Tom. Crouched on the floor, her back leaning against the door, her arms wrapped tightly around her knees. Her mind and her heart had left her body, while she was very much alive, her current state might as well deem her dead. She was waiting for someone, something to give her a sign that everything was going to be okay.

Thats when she heard the soft knocks. Three knocks at a time. Once. Twice. Then a third time. Y/N refused to open the door, thinking it was still Tom, but the more she waited the more the enfuriating knocking would not stop. After a couple more, she was ready to open door just to stop it. Another part was also curious to know what Tom had to say about last night. Maybe just maybe they’d get through it again like they did before. Y/N wiped her tears dry, and turned the doorknob.

It wasn’t Tom.

Natalie with her neatly waved, dirty blonde hair appeared at the door, her hand in mid knock. She gently placed it down and gave Y/N a tight-lipped smiled. “May I come in?” She asked in her robust english accent.

“Let me think about it. You’re in a PR relationship with my ex-boyfriend, you stole my ex-boyfriend’s clothes without permission and posted it all over social media when you said you wouldn’t...and let me see I know there was one more thing I was forgetting...” Y/N sarcastically ponders the thought, tapping her finger on her chin. “Oh yeah..you managed to kiss him right in front of me when there was no need for the PR. So if you asking to come into my room as if you’ve been my best friend all my life..You’re out of your fucking mind.” She speaks out bitterly.

Natalie looks at Y/N surprised at the attitude thrown at her. She knew Y/N was one for being a forgiving and generous girl, but today she saw a whole side of her. Natalie smirks at the comment and the result of her stunt. “Okay, then I won’t play the nice gal anymore. Now this is your last warning. Stay. Away. From. Tom.” Natalie threatens, jabbing her finger into Y/N’s chest as she emphasizes the last four words.

It clicked for Y/N as if a lightbulb when off in her head. She always had her assumptions, but Natalie’s threat was enough to prove her theory. “It is you...You’re Unknown. This whole time...From the moment I started to drift away from Tom..It was because of you!” Y/N yells out in frustration.

Natalie laughs manically. “Oh babes. You’re funny if you think I’m Unknown. Im only a part of your nightmare. And it’s going to keep on going and going. I’ll make sure you never wake from it.”

Y/N glares at Natalie, shaking her head in disbelief. “I don’t understand why you’re doing this..if you’re not Unknown, who is?”

“Like I’d ever tell you who Unknown is. I wasn’t lying about that part though. Unknown is on to me as well if I don’t play my role in this game.” Natalie scoffs as she looks at her fresh pressed manicure.

“If Unknown is threatening you, then why don’t you stop them? Why help make my life miserable when you know all of us are being pulled by the strings?” Y/N interrogates Natalie, furrowing her eyesbrows in confusion. No human being would be that cruel to ruin somone else’s life for no apparent reason. She assumed that Natalie was lying for the sake of keeping herself safe from Unknown, but from what?

“Because you took the one thing I ever truly cared about. Tom and I were doing fine, until you came into the picture.” Natalie glares at Y/N. She wanted to make sure her message was loud and clear. “I want to make you feel the pain and loss I felt when Tom left me.”

Y/N looks at her with digust, almost sick to her stomache the way Natalie talked down to her. “You cant change the way he feels Natalie.”

“No, but it seems like you’re doing that just on your own. Honestly Y/N, how much longer do you think he’ll take the more you push him away? Unknown and I are just the boost, you’re insecurities is what’s doing the magic. God, I cant wait to see how far it goes.” Natalie smirks as she turns toward the door.

“Then why keep going Natalie? You have Tom, the publicity, the looks. What more do you want?” Y/N challenges her.

“Acceptance.” She simply states. “And I wouldn’t bother bringing this up or trying to make ammends with Tom. You know Unknown will continue to pull more strings. In fact, I heard he got so sick of everything, he’s leaving on the next flight for Germany.” Natalie emphasizes, hoping to hit a trigger point for Y/N.

Y/N remained frozen, feeling so defeated as she looked at Natalie one last time before she made her way out shutting the door. Tom left. He left because of her and now she was truly alone.

Natalie skips her way downstairs to see Tom on the phone with his agent. He’s clearly distressed about last night and sitting down with his phone in hand. “Germany?! Now?!” He asks. “I..I cant. I have something going on right now. I have to fix this. I cant leave.” He speaks out as the voice talks over him. Tom was in no mood for games and he certaintly wasn’t ready to pack his bags and leave for an emergency shoot while Y/N locked herself in her room thinking he cheated on her with Natalie.

“Please...I need to set this right. I can’t think about work right now—.” Tom pleads.

“Tom, I get it. You’re heartbroken. Y/N’s heartbroken, but this is important. Not coming through with this could damage your career and cost you millions under contract.” His agent regretfully shares. “Trust me I tried to find a way out for you, but there’s no loophole. Natalie’s agents have it in their control and breaking it could mean all your money goes to them.”

Tom placed the phone on his forehead as he tries to channel and calm his anger. Natalie was getting on his nerves by the second. If it weren’t for this stupid contract, he would have never agreed to the PR stunt, let alone..let her live in their house for as long as they had. “Don’t tell me this all because of the fucking stunt.” He grumbled, trying his best to contain the frustration.

“Yes and no. It’s for the movie. They want to start filming and start setting up interviews for behind the scenes. Natalie will be there too, but I can make sure you are allowed to go alone...if it makes it any better.”

While Tom’s agent tried to make his job less difficult...it really didn’t make it any better. He’d avoid another stunt, but it also meant being far away from Y/N, right when she needed him the most. She had to hear the truth of what really happened that night.

Speaking of the woman herself, Natalie padded her way innocently towards Tom. Her arms crossed, her hair slightly fluffed, almost as if she were trying to show the world how soft she was. “You should go.” She says sweetly in her accent.

Tom looks at her in disgust as he tries to back away. “Not like I had a choice.” He leaves Natalie alone, making his way to pack his things. He knocked on Y/N’s door one last time to see if she would answer, but nothing. However, that didnt meant it would stop him from saying what had to be said. “Y/N, look...I know youre extremely pissed at me right now and you have every right to be. But you have to believe me when I tell you that it meant nothing to me at all. I..I..I have to go right now, and leave for Germany, but when Im done with this stupid contract Im coming back for you. I promise.” He laments, sliding a folded note under her doorway.

Unfortunately for Y/N she did not hear a single word that came from Tom. Her body and mental state had made her so overly exhausted, it put her in a state of deep sleep. If she couldn’t face the problems in the real world ar the moment, at least she could escape it in her dreams. So there it laid on the hardwood floor just hidden under the purple tapestry rug, Tom’s heartfelt note waiting to be read.

Tom made it to Germany in two hours time. The whole plane ride, he couldn’t help but wonder if Y/N had listened to anything he said, if she even bothered to read his note to her. He couldn’t worry much about his projects when the woman he loved was hurting again, right after he swore he’d do anything to protect her. The first two days passed ever so slowly. Tom’s anticipation to go back home moved quicker than the seconds on the clock. But here he was, sitting down in a green room waiting to be interviewed, feeling completely useless.

Light footsteps click clacked in the hallway, and the noise started getting closer, it became louder and clearer. Out of the shadows of the hallway was Natalie, dressed in a gold floral dress, with looks that could kill and make any woman envious. “Umm...we still got 30 minutes before we go on.” She smiles, talking ever so gently. Natalie takes the seat beside him on the couch, trying her best to hold on to his hands.

Tom rolls his eyes, yanking them out of her reach. “Stop it Natalie. Im tried of this shit already.” He reacts, distress straining his voice.

Natalie’s smile drops the moment she hears him say those words. “Tom...I was just..”

“No! You are taking this stunt way too seriously. What you did back in London is really shit of you. Taking my clothes, and kissing me without my consent?! What the fuck Natalie?!” Tom raises his voice, the lines on his forehead creasing.

“I thought it was a rather cute thing to do. Besides the people loved it, and don’t act like you didn’t love the kiss. I felt the passion in there.” Natalie justifies, flipping her golden locks as if her action had no consequences.

Tom laughs in disbelief. “Natalie. You ruined my chances with Y/N. I pushed you away the moment you pressed your lips on mine.”

“Why her? Why are you so caught up on Y/N? I told you so many times that she’s not good for you. She’s not even British. I meant what I said about the both of us being great together. Look at the pictures, the reactions. People love us. Thats why we got this lousy interview in the first place.”

“But Natalie...I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this. I love Y/N. I dont care what the whole world thinks. It will always be her.”

Natalie looks at him with teary eyes. This wasn’t how it was supposed to work. After everything she’s been through, after all the things she did for Unknown, Tom was supposed to be with her. “I don’t understand. You were supposed to love me!” She screams, her eyes burning with fury. “I was supposed to win in the end!”

“You can’t force someone to love you Natalie!” He screams back, his face turning redder by the minute. “Im not some prize to be won.” There’s silence in the room. Breaths heaving and panting as they try to recollect themselves. Tom takes another breath before he continues, “Look, we may have been childhood friends and gotten close, but this doesn’t mean we were endgame. Y/N came into my life and my whole life changed for the better with her. It’s like I can breathe, laugh, see the world in a whole new light because of her.”

Natalie sniffles, looking away as she hears the truth that she can no longer deny. Tom was truly in love with Y/N and no amount of backstabbing, threats, PR stunts, or fights could break them apart. They were meant for each other. “I just wish it was with me.” She whispered.

Tom shakes his head, now talking more gently. “I know, but believe when I tell you, I’m not that guy. Somewhere out there you’ll find someone who makes you feel the way I feel about Y/N every second of the day.” He places his hand on her shoulder as she gently touches it and pushes it away. She could no longer be angry, all the anger had left and was replaced with sadness. Natalie couldn’t help but wonder if this is how Y/N felt after everything she’s been put through. Maybe worse more or less, but was this what a broken heart felt like?

It was time for the interview, and as Tom made his way out, Natalie stayed behind. A change of heart was taking place inside her, and with everything that’s happened, she wanted to set things right. “What are you still doing here? Get your arse into that interview.” Her mother grumbles as she yanks her daughter’s wrist to the door.

“Mother...he doesn’t love me.” Natalie, whispers, her voice almost disappearing.

“I told you, he’ll learn. If you weren’t doing such a lousy job, maybe he would learn to love you.” Her mother rolls her eyes, still trying to drag her out to the room.

Natalie shakes her head holding back. “He won’t ever love me. Tom..he’s truly in love with Y/N, and that’s not something we can ever break. Every obstacle makes them stronger, and even now Tom is still willing to win her back. We can’t win mum.”

“Don’t tell me you’re growing a soft heart now. You’re more to blame than me. Naughty girl, always trying to break them up for your own good. If you weren’t so keen on —“

“No mum! That’s what you wanted! You wanted me to get the fame and fortune. I wanted love..but not like this. Not if we’re forcing Tom to love me when he doesn’t.” She wipes the tears from her eyes before continuing, “Im done with this. With everything. I’m going through this interview and that’s it. I want to set things write.”

“Then I’ll just ruin you and your friends with all the secrets and blackmail we’ve collected. You really want to be a part of that game?” Her mother threatens.

“You cant hurt us anymore, mum. No secret and blackmail will ever be big enough to break them. Every stone has been unturned.” With that Natalie makes her way into the interview where she sits next to Tom, in a very platonic way.

“So Tom and Natalie, tell us about your relationship. How is it going so far?”

Tom and Natalie looked at each other, smiling. Almost as if they were telepathically telling the other it was time to tell the truth. No more secrets. No more blackmail. This was it. The end was near.

Taglist:

@hollanddolanfangirl @ifilosemyselfagain @hevjadams @averyfosterthoughts​ @fangirl-with-a-mission @drishtisikarwar @eridanuswave​ @ifntelyinspirit @trumpettay @astridcommings @parkershoco @racewife2004 @sleepybesson @greatpizzascissorstaco @andievgs @joyleenl @holland-bowen @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @viwihere @marvelobsessedteenager @panicattheeverywherekid @oswinO5 @jillanaholland

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Can you do a little text with your opinion about the Volturi members? What you like and dislike, they personality, they story... Would be interesting! Kissessss and have a great day! 💜

Imma have a little fun and throw the very young me into the mix to. Let's see child me vs adult me's opinions on the Volturiiii.

Fun fact: I wasn't team Volturi until I was like fifteen. Before that I was team edward... I don't want to talk about that 🤔😒

Also I'm a sucker for villains. If it isn't obvious already, I like the villains more than the heroes. (We all love a bad boy though, don't we?--- TIK TOK NOW IS NOT THE TIMEE.)

So everything i say is just my opinion and should be taken just as that.

Aro: Younger me was like "this...is a terrible person. There really is no need to expand on this." However adult me has been like "GUYS this guy is possibly the SCARIEST character. This man rips off heads AND SMILES ABOUT IT." He gives me child snatcher vibes (from the movies in particular). I thoroughly enjoy the power hungry persona. He's really fitting to be the puppeteer behind the Volturi. Even if he makes it seem it's a group effort with himself, Marcus and Caius. Realistically, Aro gets what he wants and isn't afraid to do what it takes to get it...sorry Didyme. What's even darker about it, WHICH I LOVE, is that he isn't heartless. Smeyer wrote that Aro genuinely loved his sister. It's all good to have a character that's a evil heartless monster but what's more terrifying to me is the ability for someone to do evil despite their love and emotions. It doesn't hold them back and that's what I find particularly frightening now that child me didn't comprehend. Micheal Sheen, from what I remember of his interview years ago, played on the idea that vampires of Aro's age kinda begin to lose their mind. Which, hell freaking yes. However there is one thing I hate for Aro's character that happened in the movies. Breaking dawn part 2. That fucking laugh. Don't get me wrong, hilarious. I can't not laugh but for his character I felt it was too 'hey hey I'm a crazy man hehe'. It was a but too much, even for an eccentric Aro. However, I'm not to mad at it because again, it was funny to watch. I thoroughly enjoy the ‘friendship’ Aro and Carlisle share and i love that it is ‘maintained’ throughout the books. I think it’s just a really nice detail. (I love lore. I am a sucker for it.) The one thing that didnt sit right with me is Aro marrying someone so that he wasnt the alone one whilst his co-leaders were very much in love? Was a little off for me but i suppose that just adds to the character.

Caius: child me would shrink into the seat because what did I do to this man? High key still think I wouldn't want to be Caius' child because imagine doing something wrong and you get that glare? No thank you! Scary angry man. As an adult... "He's an angry boi but...DAYUM WHY IS HE SUDDENLY SO HOT?" Just...don't get angry with me. You'll get annoying real quick and you're too pretty for that. I enjoy the taking-no-shit attitude he has but felt it could have been a little more prominent in BDP2 where Aro asks if Caius' is challenging him. I full believe Caius to an extend would be like "yes, yes I am. Don't be an idiot Aro. Use that braincell!" Which is why I adore the meme vibes I see every now and then of Caius hating Carlisle because why does Aro love that blonde so much? CAIUS HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT LOYAL-- Anyways, I can totally get why Aro wants him on his team. Caius is so angry and has so much hatred that he’s a good asset to the coven, even if not having a special ability.I do find it hard to imagine that Caius is a century older than Aro though. Although I cant picture him over forty years old lol. Although i do personally enjoy the whole Caius x Athenodora route. IT’S TRUE LOVE! Okay so maybe thats a little dramatic but its better than Aro’s lmao.

Marcus: movie Marcus is absolutely not nineteen years old and that's just a fact. If anything, he's the forty year old one lmao. Child me couldn't care about this man. He was the man who said nothing and slumped on a throne. That was Marcus. That was his character summed up. Then adult me rolled in and OMG NO DON'T DO THIS TO THIS SWEET MAN. LET HIM BE IN LOVE. As an adult i definitely became more attached. I feel like i was too young back then to get why Marcus was in the Volturi. He seemed very out of place and like a filler co-leader more than anything. However as i’ve gotten older (and written for him), I recognised that's the point. That’s Marcus’ evident grief. He isn’t there by choice and losing Didyme caused him to fall out of line with the coven. He’s lost point or purpose. Almost like its become meaningless because the love of his life was gone and he couldn't save her.So what was the aims of the Volturi to protect vampire kind when they couldn’t protect their own? He couldnt protect her. I had never heard of anything like bond identification and once i had- i was shook, like it became clear why he had been so necessary in the first place. That really is handy to understand everyones bonds in a coven, he could direct Chelsea and the two alone could destroy covens by bonds alone. Marcus makes the Volturi more realistic in a lot of ways. Like in a family, there is the happy times, goofy people like Felix, the twins representing a close bond. Afton and Chelsea, love that cant be divided. The list really goes on. Marcus represents love and heartbreak, pain, loss grief, the sad moments every family goes through. In that way he makes the coven seem less invincible, a group of people who at the end of the day, have their own weaknesses and immortality doesn’t mean a perfect existence. Especially when, in my opinion, Bella fantasized about immortality and how perfect it would be. Even after her change, she waited for her happy ending because that was somehow guaranteed in some level. Which in the end, she got but not everyone gets that happy ending we all want. I also personally think Marcus is the most feeling of the Volturi, despite being apathetic. A result of heartbreak. It’s shown he can still feel more in his own ways when he voted against Renesmee being destroyed. Furthermore, he advocated that vampire hybrids were a lot like vampires. He made that relation openly before anyone. Its almost as though losing Didyme helped him value a life?

Jane and Alec: Child me thought these two were  badass...and that still remains in my adult life. It’s always been uncomfortable to me that someone so young is so sadistic and powerful. Jane is the older twin with the ability of pain illusion...yikes. Her ability was evident in her human life along with Alec’s. His gift is sensory deprivation and these two were my favourites in the whole Saga. Still kind of are if im honest. I thoroughly enjoy the twins backstory. It has the most detail. I have a tag for the twins. Canon!twins is the tag for the twins in their book age. Unless this tag is present, the twins have been aged up :). They are very much canon but I put a bit more emphasis on tantrums. If they get angry, they both have tantrums. So whilst (unless tagged) they aren't children they can be very childish and these tantrums are pretty deadly. They’re also very possessive? I dont even know if thats the right word i’m looking for in all honesty. Lets say they get very attached if they like you. These two are probably the most secluded out of the whole Volturi.

Felix: Felix! High ranking guard due to strength and speed. I am a major supporter of Felix being a gladiator when he was human. He as a lighter grey cloak meaning he isn’t as high ranked but is so good at what he does that he’s been kept for centuries...and a lot of them. Personality? FINALLY, WE’VE GOT ONE WITH PERSONALITY!! (Im writing these out of order and i’ve just finished a chunk of Volturi members who have personalities as invisible as Afton.) Flirtatious and Light hearted, we love flirtatious and light hearted! Basically a comedian! Helllll yes, keep it going! Extremely vicious and highly aggressive? You know what? I still like it. He wouldn’t be a Volturi without a dark side. Cold blooded murderer. Yes. 10/10. Finally, someone Smeyer seems to actually care about. He flirted with Bella a couple of times in the books and i was FOR IT ALL THE WAY. I was very sad i saw none of it in the movies but im used to heartbreak by now. Im in this fandom after all. We were robbed of a lot. Strongest vampire in the world? I believe you, he’s also a hecking treeeeee. HE DO BE A TALL BOI. He actually makes Demetri look small and that’s still hilarious to me. Demetri is actually tall. However, if it isnt obvious we clearly traded backstory for personality. I cant get both smh. So...as i said before I fully believe Felix was a gladiator back in the day, hence his physique and height and excellent fighting abilities he has even as a vampire but then it kind of ends. I will say from the dawn of time, i don’t think Felix is the most academic man, just because of his era. I also think majority of the Volturi couldn’t read of write in their human lives and had to learn much older, most learning as vampires. Felix was one of these vampires, Although even now he isnt the most great at it. Then a wonderful writer known as @wallwriterstuff included it and now it’s canon in my eyes. I fully believe Felix is a slow reader and writing isn’t his strong suit either. Wallwriter also includes the possibility that Felix could be dyslexic which im all for too. For a very long time i’ve considered writing a dyslexic reader with the Volturi but have always hesitated because i don’t have it and wouldn’t want to upset someone for any misunderstandings or inaccuracies. However what i will say is that i think vampires would be the most understanding to humans with dyslexia. Learning things like that in later development or as an adult is difficult and they wouldnt think any less of you for struggling with reading, writing, numeracy- you name it. You’ll probably find they’re with you in the struggle at least half of the time. He’s also the goofball of the Volturi, even though he’s not really a goofball in our eyes, he’s the closest to a goofball out of the whole Volturi ...Emmett beats him in the Goofball wars.

Demetri: Oh yeah, it's Demetri's turn! So Demetri was previously in Amun's coven. When Chelsea gave him the old razzle dazzle...I've said Chelsea's gift so many times at this point it's getting old. I have two characters left after Demetri 😂😂 Anyway, with that Demetri was like "welp, I'm in the Volturi now." And now that they had a better tracker the previous one was kicked out. He isn’t much of a talker, polite and formal. He’s elegant (more graceful than i could ever be) and charming...yeah he is, you can say that AGAIN. He is also very calm, when next to Felix, i think everyone is calm but you know, we’ll say he’s a very calm person. I like how he was originally in the Egyptian coven with Amun. Given Amun’s goals this a pretty nice detail. NOW LETS GO TO MY VERSION. He’s very charming, calm, polite, formal and even a lil’ but quiet, i kept him pretty canon because he actually had a description to go on :))))))))))  Moving on. Demetri can be a very successful flirt when he wants to be and does have a Casanova reputation. However beyond the charming Volturi guard who has a brutal side like the rest of them, he has a chewy centre, deep down. I added that he had a child in his human life, one he doesn’t remember and very few people know about. He remembers that they died of an illness very young (around six?) but can’t remember what they look like. For that reason he doesn’t like talking about his child, he feels awful he doesn’t remember them and the loss still hits a pang in his chest. 

Heidi: Alright im ready for this one! Child me didn’t necessarily enjoy Heidi? I was rather passive about her. It was all ‘pretty vampire used for her looks’ in my eyes back then and i was never comfortable with that. I’ll get into my take on Heidi in a moment, roll on the backstory!  So Heidi knew Victoria as they used to be coven mates and we’re going to continue on as though Heidi didn’t care when she was killed? Like...its genuinely a burning question in my mind! If she didn't care, could that show the extent of Chelsea’s power in action!? (can we tell im enthusiastic about this coven yet?) It’s quite smart to have someone lure in prey. I wont lie, Heidi has quite the badass role in the coven. I wouldn't have thought about that I reckon. I’ve always thought that showed a kind of superiority. Oh you guys need to hunt your prey? pfft, ours literally comes to us. Her backstory really starts with Heidi being mistreated in her human life...a common theme Smeyer has. It can get old- i wont lie but when i give it some thought it kind of makes sense. Rosalie said it herself in eclipse, if any one of them had their happy ending, they’d be six feet under but i’d love a little bit more creativity. I could go on about how male vampires ended up being changed in comparison to female vampires but i’ll swiftly move on because that’s a whole other thing alone. Heidi was changed out of pity. (Which kinda infuriates me just to type, a pity change? Really? Really Hilda? we’ll see why it annoys me when i explain my take on Heidi.) Heidi was happy in her coven with Hilda, Victoria etc, which is hell yes. We love that. This is around the time she discovered her gift. Vampires were attracted to her and humans fell prey to her easily. Yup okay. I’ll take that. After a newborn vampire caused ‘too much attention’ Aro spared Heidi and Chelsea used her gift on Heidi. Nice, very nice aaaaand that’s where it stops and im left hanging.  Personality time with Smeyer! Lets goooo.  From what i remember and can find- she didn’t fucking have one. Apparently being pretty is enough for everyone.  Which in hindsight, fair enough on a human Bella’s perspective, its literally Heidi’s gift to lure you in no matter what. She could tell you she’s a serial killer (and technically is lmao) and is about to sell your kidneys on the black market as to which you’ll be like ‘sign me the fuck up, want my liver too? Here, let me lie on the table for you. I’m down.’ without even realising what just happened. But even beyond that...Heidi has no personality traits mentioned. In New Moon she appears to be a little flirty which im all for, why the hell not? But...thats it? Thats all I get? Then we get into fanfictions, because i read them growing up. Heidi was depicted as flirtatious, promiscuous and then it varied between manipulative or she wasnt very smart. Which i’m knocking absolutely no one for. I think you can get a badass character who is incredibly dumb. I think all characters are actually valid whether they’re a genius or flat out dumb. I love them all. However it never really sat with me. I was never quite satisfied which i was fine with until i started writing for myself. That’s when i knew i’d have to really think about what my version of Heidi would be or i’d never be happy with my work. That and you also begin to fill in the blanks? The more you write the more you flesh out a character for yourself and so that rolls into my version of Heidi! So for my Heidi, she often gets the same trope of ‘she’s pretty and rich, those types of girls have easy lives who always had everything given to them.’ Then when it’s discovered she didn’t have a good human life. It turns to the next assumption of ‘oh she’s pretty and stupid enough to be used and manipulated’. In a lot of ways, that’s what Heidi wants everyone to think. Underestimate her, please, its all the easier to manipulate you if you do.  She’s actually very smart and her rough human life made her more tough and intelligent. She’s very manipulative and yes she’s very flirty. You can look but you cant touch! She enjoys the attention her beauty gets her but if only these people would care more about what she’s like as a person. She’s not a barbie doll she will play you if she needs to. The only one who’s actually gotten far enough to sleep with Heidi is Demetri and even then the two don’t see each other romantically. They’re good friends who thinks the other is very attractive but that's where it ends. They’re basically friends with benefits some times lmao. However, Demetri got that far because he see’s the intellect Heidi actually has and acknowledges it. He thinks shes a queen who should be treated as such. She could take anything she wanted, a storm that people can only hope to survive in one piece.  Secretly she enjoys a family setting. Whilst she never really wanted children (especially when she was expected to when human), she couldn't help but melt inside seeing little human children with their loving parents. She wants that for all children. Whether that's because she lacked such affection growing up, no one knows. She’s also a really good friend, you bet she’ll have your back. Crappy ex? Well we’ll show them, wont we (Y/N)? She’ll be a bitch and enjoy every second of it. She also loves the single life, believe it or not, you’ll have more difficulty getting Heidi to settle down than you would Demetri which speaks volumes.  So yeah, move past her gift and really get to know her and you might have a very good friend.  I also don’t see Heidi having a preference between male or females and that’s in all honesty. Times have changed and if she is attracted to another female then she wont be ashamed of it. She never has been (Demetri was the first to figure that out, Felix may be the last.) Even when the times weren’t approving of different sexualities, she didn't care. She will flirt with you and find it ridiculously cute if you get flustered.

Sulpicia: Sulpicia was an orphan which i used to develop my own version of her. Sulpicia grew to love Aro which im on the fence about but yup, i’ll take it. You’ll see what happens with my version in a bit lmao. and that’s where it stops. I get no personality again but do you know what we do in this fandom? We create one and fill in the blanks baby! So i write Sulpicia very materialistic and vain, she’s most snobbish of the wives and due to the other two, also considered the meaner one. She didnt have such things as a child being an orphan so when she got the opportunity to have it-she jumped. She isnt easily impressed and married Aro not for love but for immortality, money and status. (He’s only married you for your money, princess Jasmine! HE ONLY MARRIED YOU FOR YOUR MONEY! Damn it tik tok, but make it princess Aro) Which works well, because Aro doesnt necessarily love her either, he just wanted a mate so he wasnt the odd one out.He literally created her because he was like “Yup, you’ll do.” The two recognised they made a great team and image so they kinda grew to love each other? A little bit? Sure we’ll say its love...sorta. ANYWAY, It’s a highlight to Sulpicia being locked in that tower where she doesnt need to see Aro every little moment, it’s better than having a husband who she’d need to see everyday. ...Yeah my Sulpicia is something else lmao.

Athenodora:  Athenodora is one of the oldest vampires in existence which kinda has me shook but I'll take it. She met Caius when he was fleeing from the Romanians, the two travelled together until they met Aro. Whilst on their nomadic travels they seemingly became mates. That's all we know about that. As to which the Volturi coven was made. Athenodora is completely loyal to Caius as well as highly dependent on him and I think that's very realistic given her circumstances. That's where their story ends...maybe for Smeyer but not for me! 😁 So I picture Caius and Athenodora being different sides of the same coin. Athenodora really mellows Caius, she is no where near is violent and sadistic as he is but due to her unwavering loyalty and dependency, she doesn't feel inclination to go against him...also because of Chelsea and Corin but I've said that so many times in this post I think we get the point. I think she's actually more gentle and soft spoken but that being said. She is very reserved and if she were to be angered she'd very much change. She could cut you down with words alone. Caius loves it. However beyond this is someone who is very maternal. Caius would appreciate it more if the two had children but instead it has created empathy. Caius doesn't want that when he can rip their head off. She struggles a little more with the 'no second chances' and that's another reason why Caius keeps her locked away and away from it. These two love each other more than words can describe. After being through so much with someone, the love can only grow. The two would happily risk their life for the other. Caius is saddened that he could never give her the family she wanted. He knows that to this day, Athenodora tries to reign in that side of her. He's a very supportive husband who's very different around his wife. He's much more tolerant, and angry. Simply more at ease. If anything happened to Athenodora, to put it simply...there would be hell to pay.

Didyme: Married to Marcus and Aro’s biological sister. Cute, me likely, keepy going. Her gift was happiness induction. VERY ADORABLE- Dont be as menacing as your brother...please. She was born several years after Aro and was changed by Aro ten and a half years after he was turned. (Dont tease me with all this lore Smeyer, I know what you’re gonna do) Aro was deeply disappointed her gift was just to make people happy- its okay Didyme, we love you. Aro is just...Aro. Her gift made many fall in love with her and its so freaking cute i CANT- but she only felt the same feelings for Marcus. MY HEART IS SO WARMMMM. Unfortunately they were so happy together that they lost interest in anything Volturi and were ready to leave. (Uh oh.) Aro, being the sneaky fellow he is, was like “I’m really happy for y’all of course you can leave. I love you my babies. My best friend and my sisterrrrrrr, I am the captain of this SHIP.” but was actually like “wait, no, no, no, not my Marcus. D-D-Did-Didyme I NEED him.” Think Sid the Sloth from ice age in the first movie when Sid really wants the baby. So this man is like...gonna have to do it to em and murder. He killed Didyme secretly (dunno how he pulled the secret part off- like i know how he did it but how did no one hear or see anything or even suspect anything IT WAS LITERAL FRIENDLY FIRE but we love the drama so continue.) Ironically enough she was very close with Aro and the two actually did love each other, Aro is just...murderous apparently, to the extent that even his sister isnt safe. And that’s it. That’s Didyme. Which im like...alright Smeyer i see you. I like this and expanded on this with my Didyme.  i get the vibes that Didyme is the most innocent and kind of all the Volturi. Losing her meant losing the consciousness within the Volturi making them all the more ruthless because there was no one to say. “Guys, maybe lets rethink this? and quickly because i cant get Caius to put down the torch thats currently on fire.” Losing Didyme made Marcus mostly become passive and would rarely stop anything that happened. I often wonder if that provoked a lot of guilt for Marcus later on. (However thats a spoiler for something im currently writing...;) ) I also think of her as a major daydreamer and the most soft, gentle person anyone will ever meet. Like its difficult not to like her despite being in the Volturi, even the Romanians would have struggled if they met her. So in the long run...i hate nothing about Didyme, only find more and more love lmao.

Corin: So im going to be honest and tell you i have no idea what Corin would look like. I’ve got nothing and when i was younger i wasnt even sure if Corin was male or female. Like a lot of these names, i had never heard of the name ‘Corin’. I dont write for her as of yet because im still trying to figure her out. I think she’s quite quiet, she lets her gift do most of the work for her in keeping the wives, Chelsea and Caius when he doesnt get to go on a rampage, content. She was brought in also after Didyme died but Marcus refused her gift.That’s all i’ve got for her. Her gift is amazing, pretty underrated in my personal opinion since like Chelsea, she really helps keep the Volturi unified but other than that, I dont have much to say about her. :(

Afton:  Another character i basically filled the blanks in for myself. So what we’re told is that he’s Chelsea’s mate and has the ability to disappear . Whilst thats a pretty cool trick...the volturi dont necessarily need it but they have to keep Chelsea happy and she demands that Afton stays so welcome to the family Afton! I also recently learned that if you hide behind Afton and he goes invisible infront of an opponent, you too will also be invisible. I figure that is until the opponent moves and basically changes their perspective but i could be wrong with that last part. That’s all we get so time for my unnecessary input!  SO AFTON IS A TOTAL SWEETHEART. He’s very shy but polite. This is a complete opposite to his mate Chelsea. It’s actually what she liked about him. At first is was just be flirtatious to the shy vampire but when she actually got to know him... she fell hard. It was also Chelsea who had made the first move since Afton was so shy. Of course she’d never say so and Afton would never want to embarrass her so that was never really disclosed to anyone who wasn’t around at that time. She brings Afton out of his shell a lot and it wasn’t long before the two were mates. Chelsea is the light of his life. Hands down. He puts up with a lot for her and is happy to do so. She could ask anything of him and he’d do it and she doesn’t even need to use her gift. He buys are anything she wants almost instantly. He cant help but adore her passionate personality, like how hooked she can get on era’s such as the 1920′s, her love for jazz music and her ability to gush on and on about anything. The two had what the other lacked and that made them an excellent team. I love their relationship. I cant help it. However, as i said before Afton is very shy and tends to keep to himself. Sadly that, paired with Chelsea’s demand to keep him in the Volturi has left Afton a little bit outcasted. All the other permanent guards were wanted and considered important whilst Afton...not so much. Although that isn’t to say the other guards are mean to him or anything. They aren’t! (Except the twins who are...the twins.) Felix and Demetri tried to include him a lot but it was very difficult to break him out of his shell. That doesn’t mean to say they wont invite Afton when he’s around. Chelsea always appreciates their efforts. Afton is notably good friends with Santiago, who often preferred solitude as well. 

(Guard to the left is who I imagine Afton is)

Chelsea: So supposedly Chelsea’s original name is Charmion? When i was younger i didnt really care much about her. I only really knew her gift and that she was the reason Afton was kept in the Volturi, since they were mates. From what im aware Chelsea basically wasnt in the movies/not identified. There wasnt much said about her in the books either. So since then i’ve kind of developed my own persona of Chelsea that could be completely inaccurate to canon but canon was my foundations with characters like these. She was always a red head in my eyes with ringlets, a copper kind of red head. I also pictured her to be small. However the newest addition to her character would have to be the mid-Atlantic accent. I blame Poppy Hill for this one. That character screamed Chelsea to me. She was very close to how i imagine Chelsea to be. So now Chelsea has an accent that i have no clue how she managed to maintain being in Italy so long and being born in Greece. LMAO. We’ll say she was very attached to that time. However, I think the time she joined the Volturi was actually very good for the story. She first came around just after Marcus had lost Didyme and Aro had her use her ability to keep Marcus in the coven. it’s really cool how she could really make or break the coven. Although, Aro was smart enough to not fully rely on her, using Corin’s ability on Chelsea to make sure she’d be happy and stay within the Volturi. Thats where the information on Chelsea really ends Over the years Chelsea has appeared in my writing and so beyond this point, Chelsea’s character is only my depiction.  I figure Chelsea is a talker, like she can talk her way in and out of situations with ease. She enjoys being manipulated and even more so, being needed.Much like her gift, she gets under people’s skin- not in terms that she’s annoying but more so she can figure out people very well. Her mate is the complete opposite and so she often speaks on the behalf of them. Chelsea is very social and charismatic. She along with Heidi are the only two Volturi members who will be out and interacting with humans if necessary. Heidi for her ability but Chelsea purely for her social skills. She’s also the most interested in human culture. She loves the parties- the 1920′s being her favourite era in terms of fashion. She has no issue changing her name and has done so multiple times when the names run out of fashion.It’s like playing dress up! I’d actually love to write more about her. I’ve really grown to love her character, even if i filled in some blanks for myself. I think she and Afton’s relationship is one of the best, up there with Carlisle and Esme- despite the two being very different. It’s a part of their dynamic!

(I always imagined Chelsea to be a red head but Poppy Hill from THOHH is a very close depiction to Chelsea in my eyes)

Renata: A stressed little bean that lives on stress. I remember thinking when i was younger she was the big threat since she was Aro’s shield but now that im older i see...a stressed little five foot bean. I have no idea what she looks like but always imagine her dark hair tied in a tight bun, looking almost painful. Another who wears heels, like Heidi but she is very rigid just as she has been described. Her uncle is a bit of an ass considering he begged her to go with the Volturi so there wouldn’t be a threat. Dude, can you not just...hand over your niece? At least hesitate! Just like that, thanks to Chelsea, she’d give her life to protect Aro and...I have nothing else. Yes it does drive me mad that there are two named guards i know next to nothing about.

Santiago:So what’s known about Santiago is that he doesn’t actually have an ability. He’s just very good at battle techniques and fighting which is why he’s kept around. If they need fighters, they’re top three are Felix, Demetri and Santiago...in that order. Santiago is also much faster than a regular vampire (as shown in breaking dawn part 2- he caught up to Jacob and Renesmee quite fast despite the two having a running start and wolves supposedly being very fast- much like a vampire) That’s all we know of him so then i got in there and this is how I write Santiago. I gave him the background of coming from a superstitious family. Like he would be told tales of demons and witches growing up as well as things like voodoo. He knew an awful lot of urban legends and whilst he stopped believing in the bad luck his family taught him, he still held interest and couldn’t help the instinct of unease when witnessing such things as rituals. It’s ironic really. However Santiago always deems that humans have it all wrong. These forces are beyond human understanding and shouldn’t be played with. In that way, perhaps Santiago still has some belief in things such as superstition. He’s very secretive about it and would never clarify it for you. Santiago keeps to himself and can be quite standoffish. He can also be blunt even if it’s insulting- he doesn’t tend to care. Although he and Afton became quite good friends since the Afton was an outcast and Santiago didn’t enjoy large groups, or most people in general.

[hansensgirl]

secret santa | b. barnes

“do i make you feel like christmas time? put me in a party dress one time.”

summary | at stark industries tony decides to brighten things up, hosting a secret santa contest. you get bucky, and bucky gets you. as if it was all planned out, he decides to give you the best gift of all time.

pairings | dark!bucky x fem!temp!reader

warnings | non/dubcon sex, blackmailing, violence, mean!bucky, bucky is one kinky, festive motherfucker but i love him, forced oral (m receiving), anal sex, choking, slapping, restraining, guilt tripping (kinda but not really), manipulation, degrading words/names, humiliation, slight corruption, + more i think! DARK!FIC

a/n | it’s that time of the year y’all! also, i read @darkficsyouneveraskedfor ‘s drabble called “all he wants for christmas” and got inspired :) go read all their fics cause they’re amazing!

you walked down the decorated halls of the stark industries building as you headed to a meeting that tony urgently asked everyone to attend to. you thought that maybe someone is getting removed, or is getting a permanent spot to work for him. you truly hoped that the latter was you. you loved working here even though you were a temp. you fixed your santa hat on your head and stepping into the room. 

the meeting surely must be serious, given even the other avengers were here. steve rogers, bruce banner, natasha romanoff, even bucky barnes who joined the team not too recently. “there’s another” tony frustratedly groaned out, and soon more workers filed into the room. “alright, since it’s the holidays, pepper and i decided that you should all do secret santa, and please don’t hesitate to give me gifts as well” he explained, a few giggles echoing throughout the room at his last remark.

maybe you didn’t get the message that it wasn’t so serious. tony pulled out a santa hat and pepper gave out pieces of paper. it truly felt like you were little kids in elementary school. you took one from pepper and wrote your name on it. you placed it in the hat and once again adjusted yours. after, he once again went around the room and everyone stuck their hands in the hat, pulling out a piece of paper. finally he came to you and you pulled out the last name. whoever it was, you’d still have a difficult time finding a gift since you personally didn’t know anyone. you opened the horribly folded paper and in black ink wrote the one name you’d least expect; bucky. bucky barnes was intimidating for sure, but he was like a lost puppy. maybe you’ll just get him some records, but what if he doesn’t have a record player?

every gift you thought of had some defects. you didn’t want him to think your pitying him. you already had so much on your plate, and this secret santa thing was stressing you out already. you felt someone’s stare burning into you, making you squirm a bit in your chair. you looked up just to make eye contact with the same super soldier you needed to get a gift for. you quickly looked down, even his stare intimidated you. tony soon dismissed everyone and you walked off to your desk. you tried thinking of gifts that would suit him, but you didn’t even know him that well at all. all you knew was his past, that he’s from the 10’s and that he was really scary. you opened a new tab and searched up gifts for people from the 10’s. you didn’t know what you were expecting, but nothing useful came up. you then searched up vintage gifts but the same thing happened, nothing useful.

you decided to ditch google since it was no help whatsoever. you started brainstorming and wrote down a few ideas. most people that seem intimidating are probably really sweet, or are just actually intimidating. most gifts were either something you’d get a coworker, or someone’s grandmother. you also had to get gifts for your family members and friends too. you came up with a brilliant idea, just find something when you go gift shopping this weekend. you opened some new files on your computer and got back to work, your secret santa worries now gone.

❆ ❅ ❆

the last person bucky expected to get was you. in one way he felt lucky, you didnt throw yourself into him unlike the other girls. if he got laura from front desk then he would’ve thrown himself out a window; he really didn’t like her. usually, he’d probably get you candy or jewelry, but bucky had the perfect gift in mind for someone like you.

❆ ❅ ❆

you wrote the names of your relatives and friends down, and added bucky to the list too. you bought candles, clothes, gift cards and such, but still couldn’t find something for bucky. you went to almost every store in the mall and started stressing out, you only had monday, which was tomorrow, and on christmas eve everywhere will be sold out probably. you asked your friends what to get him, your cousins and even the worker at bath and body works. but you ended up with nothing.

❆ ❅ ❆

tuesday rolled around and you still stressed out about what you were going to get bucky. he was a unique man and you didn’t want to insult him in any way at all. you decided to get bucky your own copies of your favourite books, and even took the courtesy to put in a little note with a bookmark. surely it wasn’t the best gift you’ve gotten for someone, but it’s the thought that truly counts, right? you put it under the large tree in the middle of the tower and passed bucky on the way out. you had too much work to even bother to say something to him. you rushed back to your desk and got comfortable, knowing you’d be working for hours on end.

before you could start, tony’s voice echoed through the office. “there isn’t enough time for us all to gather so on your way out just pick up your gift!” he yelled over the loud coworkers of yours and walked off with pepper, off to enjoy his christmas with his family. you mentally noted to not forget to go to the tree before you leave. you began furiously typing away at your keyboard until your fingers ached.

❆ ❅ ❆

bucky opened the box and made sure everything was in there. he closed the box and wrapped it with reindeer wrapping paper to seal the deal. he smoothed it out and brought the box to the tree, passing you on the way there. you brushed shoulders but never stopped to say hi. he quickly placed it next to a larger box and started to make his way out of there, before tony’s voice halted him. “there isn’t enough time for us all to gather so on your way out just pick up your gift!” he yelled before leaving with pepper. bucky turned back around and started looking for his gift, even though he wouldn’t be leaving yet.

❆ ❅ ❆

you waved goodbye to your coworkers as you put your jacket on. you then remember that you needed to head to the tree for your gift. you quickly zipped up and grabbed your purse before making your way to it. basically almost every gift was gone, only a few were left. you read the papers on each one, searching for your name. you found you name on a box that wasn’t too heavy. you picked it up and shook it carefully, trying to find out what it was. you decided to open it up since it was basically christmas day.

you carefully tore the wrapping paper and opened up the box. the contents in the box shocked and worried you at the same time. there were pictures of yourself naked. some of you in the shower, or getting absolutely wasted. one was of you riding your boyfriend, ex-boyfriend. there were a few of you sleeping naked, and masturbating too. there were more things, though. a pair of your panties that you didn’t know were missing were in the box. you picked them up and they were dried with cum. you immediately dropped the panties and picked up the other thing. it was your vibrator. you though you just simply misplaced it and forgot where you did, but it was actually stolen from you. you looked all over the box and on the wrapping paper for a name as to who it was from, but you resulted with nothing.

“enjoy your gift? i didn’t have to work too hard but it’s the thought that counts right?” bucky spoke up from behind you, nearly giving you a heart attack. you looked back at him with fear and disgust written all over your face. how long had he been there? you were confused, a million questions flooding you mind, but only one left you mouth. “how?” you squeaked out, looking away. “you’re not a very private person doll” he sighed, walking to you. he pulled out his phone and started playing a video. it was a sex tape of you with your ex-boyfriend. “y’know stark was plannin’ on keeping you, but if he saw this video i think he’d change his mind pretty fast” he pressed pause as he spoke.

no no no, you couldn’t lose this job! especially since now that tony was planning on giving you a permanent spot. “but i’ll give you a chance, and i won’t show this video to anyone” he smirked at you, and you slowly stood up. you sure as hell weren’t about to whore yourself out! you opened your mouth to give him a good earful before he stopped you. “i wouldn’t do that, you could lose your job doing that as well” he warned you, picking up the box and handing it to you. you didn’t take it at first, but then he shoved it against you making you look back up at him before speaking. “and is this chance just me being a whore, cause i’m sure as hell not up to that” you spat, yet was careful with your tone.

he sighed heavily before he roughly grabbed your hand and pulled you to the elevators. you tried to ease his grip but there was no stopping the super soldier. you still had the box in your hand and refused to let it go. he pushed you into the elevator and you painfully crashed into the wall. he pressed the floor button ‘24’ and used his metal hand to restrain your two hands. you didn’t look at him the whole ride up, you simply just stared at the floor numbers. the ding of the elevator snapped you out of your various scenarios of what would happen. you were scared if he was going to do something horride to you.

“told stark i wanted some privacy, so he didn’t put any cameras and didn’t add that robot, wednesday or whatever the fuck her name is” he explained as he took you to a room. you knew that each avenger had their own floor, but you really underestimated how big the floors were. he once again pushed you into the room and left you in there, locking the door behind him. the room was dark but was illuminated from the city lights that shone through the window. you tried to think of a plan, but thought of the consequences. he could easily say one word against you and you’d be fired.

your head snapped up at the sound of the door creaking open. bucky emerged from behind it and flashed his pearly whites that shined through the darkness. he turned the light on and it took you a second to adjust to the brightness. “a-are you gonna hurt me?” you asked, fearful of him. “maybe, well, probably” he admitted before striding towards you.

he grabbed your throat and used his grip as leverage and pulled you up. he squeezed his hand around your throat tighter until you started clawing at his arms to let go. your vision started darkening but then he let go abruptly. he pulled your jacket off and you tried to stop him, trying to put it back on. he growled lowly and aggressively ripped it, doing the same to the rest of your clothes. you tried to cover your naked frame with your arms but he pulled them away from your body and grabbed rope. you shook your head ‘no’ and tried to pull away from him but his tight grip stopped you. he roughly tied the rope around your arms and expertly did so.

you were scared, scared as to what he could possibly do to you. he finished his knot and started speaking. “you know, your book gift was adorable, but i think i like this one better” he stroked your cheek before pulling his hand away and slapping you. your skin stung and prickled at the contact, and you didn’t like the feeling at all. he threw you onto the bed and pulled your pants down despite your kicking. one harsh, metal arm smack to your ass made you seize your fighting. “you can either be the slut you are and get some pleasure or be a bitch and get only pain” he left you no room for argument as pulled you up onto your knees.

he pulled off his pants and boxers, where his cock stood up right in front of you. the length and girth intimidated you, he was so much bigger than anyone you’ve ever been with. he grasped the base of his cock and tangled his metal arm in your hair. he tapped the tip on your bottom lip and you couldn’t move your head. “open up” he ordered in a sing-song voice, making you grimace. you reluctantly opened your mouth when his grip in your hair grew tighter. he shoved his cock down your throat until your nose met his patch of pubic hair. you tried to control your breathing but his cock was making it pretty difficult. “c’mon at least put some effort in” he practically taunted, and you complied, hollowing your cheeks. bucky pulled his hips back before snapping his hips forward.

he moved your head back and forth and moved his hips at the same time, desperately chasing his orgasm. you figured you might as well get this over with, and that giving him head was all you had to do. he pushed your head further down and thrusted his hips, a groan ripping through him as he came. he pulled away and forced your mouth shut, leaving you no choice but to swallow. he pulled you up and forced you onto you knees and pushed your head into the mattress. he pulled his shirt over his head and pulled your ass to the edge of the bed. he rubbed his hand against your slightly wet cunt, rubbing your clit furiously. your body started self lubricating, your cunt getting more and more wet. with no warning he shoved three fingers in your hole, thrusting them in and out like his life depended on it.

“y’know if you weren’t such a fuckin’ slut none of this would’ve happened” he spat at you as his fingers abused your poor hole. your walls clenched around his fingers and just as you were about to cum he pulled them out. you let out a loud whine and kicked your legs in frustration. his hands came down harshly on your ass, spanking you until you were begging him to stop. he spread your ass cheeks and was met with your puckered hole. his fingers pushed into your tighter hole and you screamed in pain.

“p-please, not there at least” you begged him, but you stopped your pleas since it seemed they weren’t changing his mind. “as much as i love hearing you beg, i really don’t care” he snickered, pulling his fingers out and lining his cock up with your hole. he spat on your hole and shoved his cock in, making you scream again. he slapped your ass once again and started thrusting like there was no tomorrow. he reached down and rubbed your clit as his pace fastened by the second, or by the thrust. you soon came, and again, and again. your body couldn’t fight it as much as your mind wanted it to. “fuck, merry christmas to me” he growled, the grip on your hip tightening. he shouted out as he came and pulled out not so softly. you didn’t know where we went, but you knew he didn’t leave the room. the sound of a camera clicking caught you off guard.

“say cheese, you slut.”

-

taglist:

bucky barnes:

@spicylangdon

dark!fics:

@buckysthot

forever:

@ninamcu

@parker-barnes-af

@jbstans

@anxiousamandapanda

@annavega333

@good-old-fashioned-queens