#as if we do not begin the process of dying from the very moment we are born

[somekindofquotejournalidk]

Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I've Loved, Kate Bowler

Kate: I just don't know what to do.

Beth: Die.

[lightlysaltedsalt]

Thinking about how everyone in falsettos got to grieve properly for Whizzer except Whizzer.

It's a very unique sort of grief, to have to grieve for one's self. Whizzer had to face the ever present threat of his own death and deal with the knowledge that the lovely life he and Marvin might have had would never be, nor would he ever get to move on or try again.

Up until What Would I Do, at which point he's already gone and barely more than an apparition, Whizzer never properly expressed the pain and grief and heartache of dying - at least, not to anybody else.

He's silent through Days Like This, allowing those around him to say their piece and convince themselves everything was going to be okay. He smiles at them and attempts to play chess with Jason. It's obvious that he wants to make things nice for them even though he knows what's coming.

He spends most of unlikely lovers trying to soothe Marvin, trying to convince him to go home and that he would be fine. He seems considerably more interested in taking care of Marvin than allowing Marvin to take care of him. During this song, there are a few moments where Marvin seems to begin to break down, and it's Whizzer who holds him and tries to stay put together.

The line "let's pretend nothing is awful" gets repeated a lot. On one level, maybe it's sweet. Maybe they all just want to feel normal and okay and it's the best they can do. On another, though, it's a sort of insistence that Whizzer keep pretending he's going to be okay when he knows he isn't. It doesn't give him the space to deal with all the horrible emotions that come from facing his own death because the people around him are hurting too. It keeps him smiling and trying to act somewhat put together in front of his loved ones instead of expressing what he's really feeling.

We get his full breakdown in You Gotta Die Sometime, which, of course, he's alone for. That's when we get to see that he really is terrified to die, that he wants more time no matter how hard he tries to keep his composure and act like it's not affecting him. He explicitly says that he doesn't want to play dumb anymore. He wants to acknowledge what's coming and live as much as he can before he goes.

Then everyone comes in for the bar mitzvah, and suddenly Whizzer is pulling smiles again and toasting Jason and trying to hold himself together for everyone else up until the very end when he just can't anymore.

The next time we see him, he's already gone. Just an image in Marvin's mind's eye.

He never got a chance to process or cope with his own death up until the very end. Throughout his entire decline, he keeps any amount of pain to himself, instead tending to the needs of others or just acting like he's considerably more okay than he was.

Whizzer's death broke the family. Each and every one of them hurt like hell after his passing. Even so, despite how much pain they were experiencing, they all came together to mourn him and lean on each other in the end. They got to grieve. They got to continue the final act of loving him, and in turn loving each other.

What did Whizzer get?

[lxmelle]

I don’t think Gojo died dissatisfied, or with any regrets.

Just a personal opinion that I wrote on twitter/X but I also wanted to capture and put into words here.

I can see how and why it can be interpreted that he did die with at least 1-2 regrets. However... as I read and re-read and thought about it to the point of being overthunk (lol), I have come to conclude (for myself at the very least), that he died with peace in his heart.

First we see him grumble about being wrong about dying alone because he told Megumi this. Then, he said he had unfinished business with informing Megumi about his dad, to which being a largely accepting/stoic person (kinda like the “resignation man” thing again that Gege described him - not necessarily in a negative way) really helps, because he readily accepts that he left it to Shoko and would be taken care of on his behalf.

So with that regard, he was at peace.

Next, Gojo admitted that he couldn’t reach Sukuna, and for that, he was apologetic/sorry/regretful (Not so much disappointed, due to the usage of the phrase 申し訳なく which conveys more of a sense of humility and responsibility, rather than feelings of being let down).

This is an important one for me... because if we understand how human bodies work in real life, and also if we subscribe to some form of faith/spirituality (in this case maybe Buddhism), the physical body actually takes time to die and the soul therefore takes time to depart the body.

We see Gojo smirk at the end of Sukuna’s speech saying that Gojo had “cleared his skies” and would be remembered by him for as long as he lived.

This can be interpreted in two ways (or both) - one, that those words were conveyed and Gojo heard them, understanding that he did reach Sukuna in some way. And 2nd that he smirked knowingly that he could “bet on the future” / the next generation, with what Yuta would do with his body…

Which also aligns with his soft reaction to what Nanami said about betting on the future. Gojo did his best with his students too.

So much so that he jokes with Yaga that he was wrong about sorcerers all dying with regret!

So with the body taking time to die, I see it as something similar with what happened with Jogo and Choso - their last moments took some time to happen.

As Jogo was burning, he met with his friends and had his send-off / acknowledgment from Sukuna that he was strong, that it was fun, and that he could stand proud. Jogo died feeling he had worth and believed he would reunite with his friends.

As Choso was shielding Yuji (I’m still not recovered from this btw) he also had his send-off at the long table with Yuji. He died protecting his brother, which gave him absolute meaning and purpose as a human being and not a curse. Similar situation at the end can be said about Nanami (arguable whether the process of dying was beginning to happen with his hallucinations of being at the beach) with his brief send-off with Haibara standing before him. They were consolidating their lives at their final moments. Expressing any regret/sorry’s helped them pass on peacefully. I’ll spare you the picture of mortally wounded Nanami 😢

Another one I won’t put a pic of would be Hajime’s death where he and Sukuna have an exchange too. I don’t know if he died with regret or not, but he got his answer at the very least - what he was searching for.

As for Nobara, we see her with the chairs, her thoughts and reflections - saying her farewells / apologies, and finally concluding that her life wasn’t so bad 😢

Those with mortal wounds to the head seem to die a little more immediately, so their vision of salvation / death dream / whatever you want to call it - appears to happen a little bit earlier. But it doesn’t stray too far from the theory that a “good death” comes to some of the characters in the jjk world and it exists in a space... uhh... we can describe as “between dream and reality”??? 🫣 idk about what/who is right or wrong. We know different characters have different theories about things - just like in real life I guess. Nevertheless I (as a reader) want to believe there is some kind of afterlife.

Back on topic: Gojo’s other “disappointment” was that he wished that Geto was there to “pat him on the back”. He would have been satisfied if Geto was there.

And now, well, Geto was there. Flowery speech bubbles and all. So I think the fact that he was with him as a soul, reunited, was enough of a pleasant surprise.

Enough for Gojo to go into “husband is home from a hard day’s work - time to let go and grumble” (lol). And Geto wasn’t a flower because Gojo wanted him to understand him, so I can see how this was satisfying for Gojo, who felt he wanted to catch up to Geto.

Narratively/Thematically it also makes sense that Gojo was at Geto’s end (sending him off), and Geto was at Gojo’s end (picking him up). You know... “you’re late”x2 “you’re early”? “I was left behind”x2 “I have to catch up?” (These two were just busy chasing each other).

Yeah. It wouldn’t take away the satisfaction over all that happened just because Geto wasn’t there to pat him on the back - because then dying would leave him behind. And crucially, Gojo prayed that being there at the airport wasn’t a dream. So he was satisfied with being reunited and being there with everyone.

My conclusion is basically this: I think that Gojo fully died physically when he smirked. A human body left to bleed out with a wound like that would take time to stop functioning. But we know that mercifully he was mostly dead, which was why his consciousness was at the airport. Arguably, where his soul needed to be. He would’ve internalised Sukuna’s message as his body physically died, which could explain why it reacted.

So if we believe that it wasn’t just a hallucination and there is an afterlife (there are many reasons to believe there is, with talk of soul resonance, reincarnation, etc.), just as how Geto knew Gojo fought Sukuna, the souls in the afterlife have awareness of what goes on in the world of the living.

I’m pretty certain that one way or another, Gojo would have received the knowledge that Sukuna had praise for him, even if he couldn’t reach him with his humanity. So there were essentially no “regrets”.

Gojo was satisfied with having left the information for Megumi for Shoko to deliver, with how he died in battle to someone stronger, that he was able to satisfactorily go all out & felt he had fun, that Sukuna acknowledged him, that he could bet on the future, and that he was also reunited with Geto & his friends from his youth.

Yes, so… I believe that Gojo died satisfied.

🥲 RIP Gojo Satoru. I hope you and Geto have a good time in the afterlife.

[petrichormore]

daily reminder that q!bbh is not only experiencing psychotic episodes but is also physically wounded, ill, and potentially dying. We also have no idea how that is playing into his decision making. I see a lot of people just kinda disregarding it and acting like q!bbh is making the decisions he’s making in a vacuum of normality, but q!Forever is partially right when he says this isn’t the “real” q!badboyhalo. This is a heavily wounded and ill q!bad whose injuries are already affecting his ability to see color, so what else are they affecting?

Like, it’s not that I think q!Forever is right when he says “I know this isn’t you, I know you’re not yourself” because he’s clearly projecting - q!Bad does not need to be saved or fixed especially by a man who he doesn’t trust but… having q!bbh be in the worst state he’s ever been in isn’t him being in his “truest” state either. And I’ve seen that be said - that this is the true, honest q!bbh and q!forever befriended a facade, a lie, but that’s just. Not accurate at all. The kind-hearted, altruistic, and gentle q!bbh that q!forever befriended is just as real as the one we’re seeing now. It’s just that q!forever befriended q!bbh while he was in a relatively normal (he’s being held captive on murder island after all) state of mind, and now he’s nearing his worst. His absolute worst is not any more his “true self” than his absolute best would be, and I’d argue niether extreme is a particularly accurate reflection.

“This is the real q!bbh: a terrible person.” Maybe he is a terrible person but this isn’t evidence of that, this is just evidence that he’s fucking surviving on a knife’s edge. This is him pushed to the very brink of what he can handle, and then pushed even farther. A person’s lowest moment is not when their “true personality” is revealed or whatever and I’ve never liked that idea to begin with. A person’s lowest moment might reveal an unnatural extreme but that’s like. It. In my opinion, anyway.

The “real” q!bbh is cunning, devious, and ruthless and is also kind, altruistic, and selfless. Those ‘good ones’ aren’t traits he just pretended to have, that’s him in equal measure. I know it’s fun for the demon to be evil or something, but he’s just… not, really. He’s currently sick in ways we don’t fully understand, but from what we do know he’s being drained of color and of sanity so how can someone point at him and say “this is the real q!bbh” no, it’s the worst q!bbh (that we’ve seen). But worst does not equal truest - his thought process and personality are clearly being affected by his lack of sleep, and his declining mental health, and whatever the hell those vultures have done to him.

I don’t know, I just don’t think people are taking his physical appearance, and the fact that he’s straight up gone colorblind and experienced a psychotic break into account enough when discussing what this current arc reveals about him as a person. Any conclusion drawn about his personality should come with a “he’s barely hanging in there are we sure this is an intrinsic personality flaw or just a reaction to a traumatic situation that he would probably never exhibit under any other circumstance that vaguely resembles normal”

[fanfictionalraven]

Dream Warriors Chapter 4

Title: Dream Warriors Chapter 4

Summary: Sam and the reader discuss her dreams. Dean and the reader make some progress on the case and their relationship.

Characters: Reader, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, other original characters

Word Count: 3,700

Warnings: Mentions of miscarriage, angst

Read Chapter 3 here.

You and Sam both continue to stare at your perfectly healed hands. All traces of the burns were now gone. You look up at Sam, tears stinging your eyes.

“You saw that, right?? I’m not going crazy. You saw that too,” you practically beg. He nods his head slowly, trying to process what he’d just witnessed.

“What’s going on, Y/N?” He asks. You shake your head quickly, looking back at your hands.

“I wish I knew,” you mumble. You flex your hands slowly, wiggling your fingers as well. “I’ve been having these dreams. We thought it was just stress from the miscarriage and due date but now…”

“Dreams?” Sam asks, watching you closely. You look up at him and nod.

“It’s all so normal. No monsters. Our families are alive. Dean and I are very clearly in love but I married someone else who’s been cheating on me. You finished school and you’re getting married to Jessica,” you tell him. He frowns a little more and nods. “When I’m there, when I’m in the dreams, all of this is just a dream. A dream I hardly pay attention to. And it all feels real, holding my daughter feels real.”

“The burns?” He asks, cutting his eyes to your hands.

“I went to get a pie from the oven in a rush and forgot potholders,” you explain. He nods again then shrugs his shoulders.

“Okay, ugh…normally, I’d agree that it’s just your subconscious but…” He trails off and you nod. “What are you thinking? A spell? A djinn maybe?” He asks as he makes his way back to his laptop. You frown, pulling your knees into your chest.

“I don’t know what to think, Sam,” you tell him. He nods and starts to type on his computer. You sit in silence for a moment before looking around. “Where’s Dean?”

“Went to talk to the sheriff again,” he says, picking up John’s journal. You roll your eyes, throwing the blankets off of yourself.

“The sheriff isn’t going to talk to him. Why didn’t he wake me?” You ask as you move to your bag. You open it to find that Dean had taken your fed clothes last night and put them away neatly.

“He wanted to let you sleep as much as possible. You really scared him last night,” he says. You stop what you’re doing and look at him, confused. “When you heard that baby crying?”

“That was Ella,” you say. He raises an eyebrow in question and you sigh, looking back into your bag. “My daughter. I mean – the baby in my dreams.” Sam frowns as he watches you.

“Y/N, she isn’t real,” he reminds you. Rolling your eyes, you rise to your feet, clothes in hand.

“I told you, Sam. When I’m in the dreams, she’s the realest thing in the world. I’d give my life for her in a heartbeat,” you tell him. He nods slightly.

“Well try not to do that. Minor injuries may heal but dying?” He asks. You frown and nod, turning for the bathroom. “Want me to call Dean?”

“I’m not gonna tell him,” you inform Sam before closing the door behind you. You hear his chair scrape the floor before he approaches the door.

“What do you mean you aren’t telling him?” He asks. Sighing, you begin to change clothes.

“He’s already worried about me enough. I’m not giving him more reason to,” you call through the door to him.

“Y/N, something is hurting you in your dreams. That’s not something you should hide from him,” he says. You finish buttoning up your shirt and pull the door open again.

“Please. We can figure this out. Me and you,” you plead with him. He shakes his head slightly, conflicted.

“Nothing good ever comes from any of us keeping secrets, Y/N. You tell us that all the time,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest. You reach out and place your hands on his arms gently.

“Sam, I’m begging you. Just…one day. Let’s see what we can find in one day and if we don’t get anything or if things get worse tonight, then I’ll tell him,” you say. You bite your lip, waiting for his response. A car door closes from just outside the room and your pleading look turns to panic. “Sam, please.”

“Okay. Fine. One day,” he relents, turning back towards his table in the corner. You let out a sigh as the door to the room opens and Dean steps in. He’s got three cups of coffee and a white bag in his hands. He smiles widely when he sees you.

“Hey, Sleeping Beauty finally woke up,” he teases, setting the breakfast he’d picked up down on the table. Sam takes one of the coffees and looks into the bag.

“Find anything out?” He asks, pulling a glazed donut from the bag. Dean picks up the other two cups and starts towards you.

“Well, they finally got an ID on one of the victims. Monica Lester. Married. From a town about an hour east of here,” he informs you both. He holds one of the cups out to you and you smile a little, taking it. You thank him and he winks at you before sitting on the edge of the bed. “Sheriff Anderson has so graciously agreed to let me do the notification.”

“I’ll go with you,” you tell him before taking a drink from the coffee. He frowns at you and shakes his head.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. The man just lost the woman he loved and their unborn baby, Y/N,” he says. You sigh and nod, walking over to the table.

“And if anyone can understand at least part of that, it’s us,” you tell him as you reach into the bag yourself.

“Yea, just part of it, sure,” Dean mumbles, rising to his feet. You look at him quickly.

“What?” You ask. He smiles a little and shakes his head, walking over as well.

“Sammy, you good to stay back and keep digging?” He asks. Sam glances between the two of you before nodding.

“Yea, I’m fine,” he says. You give him a pointed look and he nods his head once. “I’ll let you know if I find anything.”

The two of you load into the front seat of the Impala and begin the hour-long drive to the first victim’s house. The ride is quiet, neither of you saying much at all. The invisible wall between you, that you had just started to believe could be torn down, now seemed to be reinforced and even bigger somehow. Dean parks the car on the curb in front of the house and the two of you look over at it.

“You sure about this?” Dean asks. You look over at him.

“Oh, now you’re talking to me again?” You ask. He stares at you for a moment, seemingly stunned. “Yes, I’m sure. Come on.” Pushing the door open a bit too violently, you climb out of the car and slam the door. Dean gets out quickly and rushes around.

“I don’t know why you’re mad at me, but you don’t have to take it out on the car,” he says, fixing his tie. You stop in your tracks halfway across the yard. Dean gets only a few steps ahead of you before stopping and looking back.

“I just wish you’d talk to me,” you tell him. He shakes his head, taking a step towards you.

“Talk to you? Y/N, I try to talk to you all the time. You shut me down,” he huffs, exasperation clear on his face. You stare at him before walking to the front door quickly. “See??”

“We’re on a job, Dean,” you insist, reaching for the doorbell. He grabs your hand before you can make contact with the button, holding on to you tight.

“Y/N,” he pleads. You pull your hand away from his and press the button, hearing the bell ring inside. Footsteps quickly approach the door and Dean straightens up, reaching into his coat pocket as you do the same. The door opens and a man, around the same age as you and Dean, looks between you.

“Chris Lester?” Dean asks. The man nods, panic quickly spreading across his face. “We’re with the FBI. Agents Wayne and Prince. Could we speak with you?”

“Oh God,” he prays, voice trembling. You reach out and place a comforting hand on his arm.

“We should sit down,” you tell him. He nods his head slightly before turning to lead the way. You two follow and Dean pushes the door closed, glancing around the house. Mr. Lester leads the two of you into what seems to be the living room of the house. He sits on the edge of an arm chair as you and Dean take seats on the couch. The man leans forward and wrings his hands nervously.

“Is this about Monica?” He asks. You glance at Dean and he sighs, looking down at his own hands.

“Mr. Lester, we’re sorry to have to inform you but…your wife’s body was found three days ago about an hour from here,” Dean tells him.

Chris’ face falls slowly as each word is processed. You can see the moment his heart breaks in his eyes. He slumps forward with a wail and Dean quickly reaches out, catching him. You allow Mr. Lester a few minutes with his grief before Dean speaks to him again.

“I know it’s hard but we need you to answer a few questions so we can catch whoever did this.” Chris nods and slowly moves himself back into the chair. Dean sits back on the couch and straightens his jacket.

“Can we get you anything?” You ask. Chris shakes his head and wipes at his cheeks.

“No. You, ummm, you have questions?” He asks, voice still thick with tears. You nod and look at Dean.

“Do you know of anyone who would want to hurt your wife?” He questions. Chris shakes his head, looking at his hands.

“No one. Monica is…” He stops and swallows back more tears. “She was an amazing woman. Everyone loved her. What happened?” You frown and shake your head.

“We’ll spare you the details for now but it doesn’t appear that she suffered,” you tell him. He nods slightly, running his hands over his face.

“Why would someone do this?” He asks, starting to lose it again. Dean reaches out, placing a comforting hand on Chris’ shoulder.

“It’s not going to make sense. No matter what we find out. Believe me. I know how you feel,” he tells him. Chris looks up at him and you bite your lip, looking down at your hands. “About three months ago, my girlfriend went to the store. Broad daylight in a crowded parking lot, a man stabbed her. She was six months pregnant. I lost them both that day.” You look at Dean quickly, fighting back tears. Chris shakes his head slightly. Before you can say anything, the sound of little feet running causes you all to sit up straight.

“Daddy.” A little girl, about four or five, runs into the room. “Who are you?” She asks, looking between you and Dean. Chris wipes at his eyes before forcing a smile.

“They’re friends,” he tells her. You put on your best smile before rising and walking over to her.

“My name’s Y/N. What’s yours?” You ask, kneeling down in front of her. She smiles back at you widely.

“Claire,” she says. Your smile widens a little.

“I have a friend named Claire,” you tell her. “Could you show me your room?” She nods quickly and takes your hand, pulling on it. She leads you up the stairs and into an adorably decorated princess bedroom where she immediately runs over to her dollhouse.

You take a seat at a little tea table in the corner where you spend the next several minutes being introduced to a number of dolls. This is immediately followed by a Barbie fashion show, Claire showing off all of her outfits. While you smile and laugh at the young girl, you can’t help but think back to what Dean had said. I lost them both that day. It felt like the final nail in the coffin that now held your relationship.

After a few minutes, a gentle knock at the door draws your attention. It opens and Chris steps into the room, a sad smile on his face. He tells you that Dean is outside and you say goodbye to Claire before going downstairs. Stepping out onto the porch, you find Dean in the yard on his phone, presumably with Sam.

“Yea, sounds good. We’ll see you later,” he says before hanging up. He drops his phone back into his coat pocket. “He’s got the names of the other two victims. They’re from the same town the opposite direction so he’s gonna go see their families.” You nod slightly and cross your arms, looking down. “Y/N…”

“I’m not dead, you know,” you cut him off. He scoffs a laugh causing you to look up.

“Yea, I know. Do you?” He asks. You stare at him, stunned. “I tried talking to you in the car and you were practically catatonic. You’re mourning. I get that. I am too. But I’m not the one doing the pushing.” You shake your head slightly.

“I’m not…”

“You are! You flinch away from my touch. You barely speak to me. I want to hold you again. I want to kiss you again. I want to make love to you again. And if you aren’t ready for that yet, that’s fine. I get that. But…tell me what I need to do to fix this,” he pleads. You shake your head again, fighting back a sob, and move to walk past him. He reaches out, catching your elbow. “Y/N, talk to me!” You spin to face him, jerking your arm from his grasp.

“Get mad!!” You snap at him, shoving at his chest. He stumbles a step back. “You never got mad!!”

“I’m mad as hell. If you’d seen what I did to that demon when I found him…” He trails off and you wipe at your eyes quickly.

“Not at the demon, Dean!! Get mad at me!! Blame me!! It was my fault!!” You scream at him through your sobs. He stares at you, wide eyed, and shakes his head. “It was. I was her mother and I should have protected her better.”

“Sweetheart, I could never blame you for that. If anyone’s to blame, it’s me,” he says, reaching out for you.

“No, you’re not!! You weren’t even there!!” You insist as he gently takes your arms in his hands.

“Exactly. If I hadn’t been out on a hunt, if I had been home with you, I could have stopped him and we’d have our baby right now,” he says. You shake your head as you stare at him, bewildered.

“That’s ridiculous. We agreed you’d continue to hunt,” you tell him. He nods slightly, slowly pulling you closer to him.

“What’s even more ridiculous is you thinking I could or should blame you. From the day you found out you were pregnant, you were in full mom-mode. And it was the greatest thing I’d ever seen. You stopped hunting, stopped drinking, stopped eating junk. You were already an amazing mom and she wasn’t even here yet,” he says, his voice soft and calming. His arms hesitantly and slowly wrap around your waist, pulling you into his chest. Your firsts clench at the lapels of his jacket, as though you’re clinging on for dear life. “Let me fix it,” he pleads. A sob breaks through as you bury your face in his chest. Dean’s chin comes to rest on top of your head as he holds you close, rubbing circles into your back.

The two of you stand in that same spot, clinging on to one another, for what feels like forever. Your sobs eventually begin to subside and Dean’s arms loosen enough for you to look up at him. His lips brush your forehead and you feel yourself smile.

“Sam’s out for a little while. What do you say we go back to the room and talk some more?” He asks, looking down at you. You nod, wiping at your cheek.

“I like the sound of that,” you tell him. He smiles a little and leaves one arm around your waist as he pulls you to the waiting Impala. He opens the door for you and you slide in all the way to the middle.

After closing the door, Dean goes around and slips into the driver’s seat. He looks at you and smiles widely as you wrap your arms around his, laying your head on his shoulder. His hands come to rest on your knee, his thumb rubbing back and forth slowly as he sets out for the motel again.

The ride back is quiet again but a different, comfortable silence. You stay tucked into Dean’s side, holding on tight to his arm as he drives. Occasionally, he turns and places a kiss on top of your head. Each time, you respond with a kiss to his shoulder. For the first time in a long time, things actually begin to feel right again.

Back at the motel, you take a seat on the edge of the bed you’re sharing and watch as he makes his way around the room. He removes his suit jacket and lays it across the back of a chair before starting to loosen his tie. You smile as you watch the muscles in his shoulders through the tight dress shirt he’s wearing. You’re on your feet before you have a chance to second guess yourself. Slowly, you wrap your arms around him from behind. He tenses up for only a split second before relaxing in your arms. Standing on your toes, you press a kiss against his shoulder blade.

“I love you,” you whisper into the fabric of his shirt. His fingers ghost over your arms before he turns to face you. You pull your arms in between the two of you now, your hands resting on his firm chest. He caresses your cheek with the back of his fingers before quickly closing the distance between you. Your lips move together in unison as he grips at your hips, pulling you impossibly closer.

************************************************************************

Later in the afternoon, you’re lying on top of Dean, your arms crossed over his bare chest as you watch him. He smiles at you sleepily and you can’t help but laugh.

“Wear you out?” You ask. He shakes his head, his hands running over your exposed back slowly.

“Nah, I’m good,” he says. You smile as you watch him for a moment. He reaches up and pushes your hair behind your ear gently.

“I’m sorry I pushed you away,” you apologize. He smiles a little and shakes his head.

“We’re gonna be okay, Sweetheart,” he assures you. You nod slightly before stretching up and catching his lips with yours once more. He smiles in the kiss and threads his fingers into your hair.

The door opens suddenly and you pull away from Dean with squeak as Sam comes into the room.

“Hey – come on, guys!!” He says, turning his back quickly. Dean smirks at you as you scramble to pull the sheet across your chest. “I asked if you wanted a separate room for a reason.”

“Calm down, Sammy. What ya got?” Dean asks, pushing himself up in the bed. Sam glances over his shoulder slowly to make sure you’re covered before turning to face the two of you again.

“I’ve got a pretty solid lead on the Manananggal,” he says, handing Dean a brochure. You look over his shoulder at it and frown.

“That’s just a Lamaze class, Sam,” you tell him. Dean nods slightly, opening the pamphlet.

“Yea, Y/N and I were looking into some,” he says. Sam nods quickly.

“Exactly. What better place for a monster to find pregnant women than a class for pregnant women? I checked and all the victims attended this class at least once,” he says. Dean hands the pamphlet back to him then leans over the side of the bed, picking his previously discarded jeans up.

“Worth a shot. You coming?” He asks, looking at you as he pulls them back on. You bite your lip before shaking your head.

“I don’t think that would be a good place for me right now,” you tell him. Relief washes over him before he rises from the bed and rushes to the bathroom. You watch him go before looking at Sam. “Did you find anything?” You ask him quietly. He shakes his head, frowning.

“Nothing yet,” he tells you. You frown as well and nod, looking down at your hands. The memories of the burns come back to you. “If you go to sleep, just be careful, okay?”

“Yea,” you say, nodding slightly. Dean comes back out of the bathroom a few minutes later, fully dressed in his usual plaid and jacket combo. He smiles at you before giving you a quick kiss.

“We’ll be back. Get some rest,” he says. You smile your best and nod.

“Just be careful,” you tell him. He kisses you one more time before following Sam out the door and to the car. You fall back onto the mattress with a heavy sigh and run your hands over your face before pulling the blankets up around yourself. Your hands slips down to your stomach and you feel the scar. You know it’s real. The pain and grief. The love you have for Dean. It’s all real.

“This is real,” you repeat to yourself over and over, a steady mantra as you drift off to sleep in the late evening.

“This is real,” you mumble as your eyes open to the darkness of the very early morning. Your hand still on your stomach, you feel the smooth skin before sitting up and looking around Dean’s bedroom. “This is real,” you tell yourself, looking at the bandages on your hands.

Read Chapter 5 here.

Forever Tags: @roseblue373

Jensen Tags: @lostin-jensenseyes

Dream Warriors: @aylacavebear @winharry @djs8891 @suckitands33 @rickgrimeswifeu @deans-spinster-witch @jackles010378 @foxyjwls007 @cutiesarah @urinternetmom @justrealizedimmascifygurl @kr804573 @thej2report @just-levyy @snowayumi @alisyacsa

[mezzy303]

So I've been rereading skip beat from the beginning for the first time in uhhhhh almost 10 years and I'm going inSaNE over characterizations and development that I have to write it down

At this point I'm only at the Heel siblings arc so I haven't gotten to the Guam or Saena arcs which are very big for Kyoko and Ren's character development and healing which I haven't reread since those chapters came out

Can we just take a moment to appreciate Nakamura for basing Kyoko and Ren's childhood struggles and trauma on very real things that aren't often, if at all, dealt with in anime/manga and also writing them with utmost care (Not only do the traumas inform their personalities, but their healing arcs aren't just a one and done thing!! It's a very slow process) Like starting with Kyoko, her single mother neglected her so much that she was raised by a family friend. On top of that, nothing Kyoko did was ever good enough for her mother, and both of these things are so apparent in Kyoko's character. She attaches herself to fairytales and magic as an escapism and because she relates to stories like Cinderella. She literally cannot function if she messes up and no one criticizes her. She can't properly acknowledge her own talents and beauty without it being attached somehow to fairytales; she never quite believes shes good enough. Similarly, she didn't want to bother anyone with her troubles, so she always dealt with them alone/in private spaces. Pretty sure she also has lowkey abandonment issues. And this is all parental trauma!! Things she already has before the series starts and she gets so utterly heartbroken she swears off romantic love entirely so she can never get hurt the same way again.

(I don't think I'll ever get over how Kyoko told all this to Kuu and he was literally like I'm adopting you. Your mine now. Sorry I don't make the rules ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And Kuu going home to his wife like hey we got a new kid 😂 Like Kyoko freezing up when she made mistakes and then Kuu showing her love instead of reprimanding her makes me go 🥹😩💖✨😭💝 Kyoko getting all fluffy from head pats🥹🥹 But on the downside she literally can't bring herself to call him dad unless she's in acting mode sjdfhsf)

When I really consider it, I wonder if Kyoko really loved Sho as a person or like.... the idea of him. Like he was just a convenient guy via proximity bc Kyoko needed someone to be her "prince". We haven't been shown exactly why she fell in love, but it would explain why she stuck with dedicating herself to him despite his terrible personality and knowing he never saw her the same way. It's portrayed like the concept of hatsukoi in anime where its ✨pure✨and innocent✨It seems very idealistic. Whereas Kyoko's love for Ren is more mature. She sees every aspect of Ren and doesn't sugarcoat it, she sees him as he is (she does him up on a pedestal but partially bc she admires him but also as an extreme measure to protect her heart and hide her feelings imo)

And REN. trauma to the max. He had to deal with the hardships of making a name for himself when his parents are already famous, extreme racism from being biracial, his friend/mentor dying from an accident he unintentionally caused???? Like boy hates himself so much he's literally disassociating 24/7 he needs a fucking therapist. I get how being Ren has helped him in some capacity but he needs a professional asap. Though deep diving into this is so interesting because Ren/Kuon compartmentalized his issues and the parts that he hates about himself so much he created its own persona ("Dark Kuon"), to the point he's rarely ever just himself. And he buried it so deep that as soon as he cracked the lid open, those emotions just spilled out. He can't even allow himself to be happy, and when he does feel truly happy, his automatic response is acting nonchalant,,,,,,,,,,,, he didn't even realize he was doing it at first 😢

Also the symbolism with Ren's watch makes me go a little feral. I don't remember if it's originally his or Rick's but it obviously stopped when the latter died and Ren keeps it as a reminder of what happened and why he went to Japan. It's a weird item since it grounds him but also represents his heavy trauma, and I think having those two things in one kinda showcases Ren's unhealthy coping mechanisms (like grounding himself to something traumatic isn't... great...). But that scene where he realizes he took it off and he has a moment of whether it to keep it on as Cain Heel or not??? *clenches fist* it was so good. (To recap it, he had his watch so he wouldn't lose himself in the role of BJ and then forgot it in the bathroom after an unexpected trauma response) Ren narrates his thoughts as choosing between Rick or Kyoko but interpreting this, he's choosing whether to keep himself stuck in his past trauma or move forward and let himself be happy AKA stick with unhealthy coping mechanisms vs try something healthy and rely on people he trusts. Kyoko essentially becomes someone Ren grounds himself to 🥺 He still needs therapy though lmao. He's so mentally unstable in this arc,,,

As I'm writing this I'm seeing a parallel between Kyoko and Ren and how they both had an experience that completely and utterly broke them, and it was this that pushed them onto their current paths in showbiz. And they likely would never have met each other again if those things never happened (they had to lose themselves to find each other?? 😭). It's so funny to me that Ren is all like ThEiR fAtEs ArE iNtErTwInEd with Kyoko and Sho when you have to consider the fact that him and Kyoko meeting again was like. a chance in a billion. It was fate 😂

KyoRen is such a poetic ship to me. The fact that they're different people when they meet and don't recognize the other. How Ren starts falling in love AS SOON AS HE REALIZES KYOKO IS THE SAME GIRL HE MET (Ren being gray/demiromantic.... more at 5). Kyoko lowkey starting to crush on Ren when she witnesses a bit of his real personality. These two things happening around the same time??????? And Ren being SO afraid of being Kuon, his true self, because of his bad qualities, but Kyoko pulling out the good qualities without him fully realizing it?? (I'm 100% referring to Kuon being a mischievous little shit and I live for how he teases Kyoko) tbh they treat each other differently from other people without even realizing it lol. And Kyoko being surrounded by toxic and possessive men pursuing her, and Ren being anything BUT. Like my man is a gigantic green flag. He recognizes that he can't seriously pursue Kyoko bc she's a minor and he really tries his best to only be a friend and mentor in her life and keeping her trust and never crossing her boundaries despite the stereotypes of men being "unable to control themselves." Y'all take point this should be the standard at minimum☝️

I have to talk about Sho bc this boy is so fucking toxic but he makes such a fascinating character. As much as I hate how Kyoko got heartbroken in the way she did, I think it was necessary so that she could leave Sho's sorry ass and cut him out of her life. Seriously,,,, he took advantage of her and used her as a servant. she literally dropped out of school, moved to a different city, and took on two jobs for the sole purpose of helping his career and then he threw her away like a used rag (JUST THROW THE WHOLE MAN AWAY). And then he has the audacity to fall in love with her smh. Anyway the fascinating part about him to analyze is how he's so possessive of Kyoko. Like she was a mere fly in his life, but she was always his. Until she wasn't. And I think those twisted thoughts kinda morphed into feelings for Kyoko. Ig in a way he still cares about her, but it could never hide how toxic he is. Anyone who's like I don't care how this person thinks of me as long as I take up the biggest space in their heart is egotistical and narcissistic. BUT he and Kyoko bickering like siblings will always be funny. Like epitome of two people who've lived with each other for way too long so they know how the other ticks and also get on each other's nerves 😂😂Sho does makes a good foil for Ren though. Like he's basically everything Ren is not: immature, temperamental, possessive, vain, the list goes on. His only redeeming qualities as a character is providing good drama and humor and being an example of what Ren isn't.

Skip Beat is really a story about healing and learning to love yourself and letting others love you and Nakamura is such a good story teller 🥺

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

I've been thinking a lot about the one-dimensional kinda fandom interpretations of Dazai and Chuuya in particular - the overemphasis on Dazai's weird brand of mischief/manipulation and Chuuya's anger and tendency to lash out and how it's not like these traits are... wrong, per se - these are their surface level/immediately notable characteristics - it's just that it misses the nuance as to why these traits likely exist.

What these interpretations don't fully capture is their very similar cores deep down - two people plagued by feelings of alienation, human inadequacy and repeated loss. Despite starting from these very similar places, they both dealt with the issue in near opposite ways. Dazai numbed himself to pain (remember: he hates pain! I cannot emphasize this enough!) and rarely gets close to anyone for fear he will lose them - his loss led to apathy, a withdrawal from humanity, a fear that he will always be empty inside - his ability: No Longer Human. Chuuya, on the other hand, refuses to numb himself and instead feels every single emotion in full and values his bonds with others over anything. He wants to belong and makes efforts to be perceived as a part of his group. Underlying this, however, is a kind of tired grief paired with resilience - remember that his ability is Upon the Tainted Sorrow. Not anger, or rage.

Sorrow is what results from this kind of heavy identity crisis and loss - for both of them. Think of Odasaku's read on Dazai as someone who looked close to tears when "acting" in front of the sniper poised to shoot him, describing him to Gide as a too-smart child left in the dark, or the way Stormbringer constantly reminds us that Chuuya is 16 and the desperation he feels in the scene where he holds his own dying clone, unable to help him.

Both characters carry a melancholy, resulting from their respective issues with their own humanity - I know I'm not the first one to comment on how their abilities could just as easily be referring to each other as well as themselves. This reads as very intentional to me - much like Atsushi's story begins as a clear parallel to the short story Rashoumon and Akutagawa sometimes being referred to in more beast-like terms than man, it makes sense that Dazai and Chuuya would reference each other in a similar vein.

And if that was the end of it, then we would expect that deep sorrow to shine through in both characters, but it rarely does except in pivotal moments. That's because the both of them have had to constantly deal with external threats - they believe they cannot afford to show vulnerability.

So, what you get instead is Dazai taking a kind of twisted ownership over his inhumanity and using it to make people afraid of him and to control everything so that he is never blindsided and hurt again, in the process, further alienating himself and making his issues worse. He inflicts fear so he doesn't have to be afraid. He can relax and be as silly as he wants - so long as everything around him is completely according to his predictions. There's a bonus to his foolish demeanour as well: hardly anyone can read him well enough to get close.

Then you get Chuuya, who feels so strongly and so much that it has no choice but to boil over, and due to never being able to or feeling comfortable with being anything but "the strongest", he hides moments when he is touched, or worried, or grieving, with anger and violence and defensiveness. As such, he is always seen as more weapon than person, a cut above the rest, forever standing out to others no matter how much he tries to integrate. The closest he came to true belonging was wrenched away from him before he could have a chance to know what that would actually feel like with the death of the Flags.

These surface traits are defense mechanisms. And the amusing thing to me is that likely means these two would love if that's all most people ever saw of them. (Of course, they clearly do want to be seen and accepted, but defense mechanisms become automatic over time because they often feel much safer. Likely another reason they clash so much - they see each other, and it is deeply uncomfortable for them both.)

So, you have Dazai defending himself with his two-faced nature, making jokes and/or manipulating everyone in the vicinity, and Chuuya defending himself with intimidation and anger, never letting any vulnerability show through because anger is easier but at the core of all of this is that loss and that grief and the sorrow and fear that pervades from it.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

my favorite mulder moments from s3

when he’s dead in episode 1, in the afterlife being urged to return to his body, and it is only only hearing that his sister isn’t there which convinces him to come back to life (we can analyze this for years and we should!)

after their narrow escape from the disease center in episode 2, skinner asks what mulder could possibly hope to find in his wildest dreams. his answer: “why they killed my father. and what happened to my sister. and what they did to agent scully” which pretty much proved that she is part of his family to him <3 and he just wants to protect his family and keep everybody safe... i'll cry

and despite how badly he wanted the truth and was willing to risk it all, he agreed to turn the tape they had nearly died over so they could come out of hiding, so scully could see if her sister was okay (AUGHHH putting his life's ambition on hold for her...)

(this is more to do with behind the scenes stuff, but there’s a little moment in episode 7 where his hair is all messed up, and then in the very next shot it’s all fixed again, and i thought it was so funny to see, because you could tell he got retouched between takes)

in that same episode there’s also a moment where he keeps replaying a mysterious noise over and over again. scully asks if he has found anything, and he replies “no, but i’m really beginning to like the tape” with a big goofy smile <3

in episode 9, he has his office set up like a movie theater, with his feet tossed up on on the desk. he is SO excited to show scully the alien autopsy video he ordered from a magazine for $29.95!!!

then he comments that “it’s widely held that aliens don’t have blood, scully” with great seriousness which had me LOSING it. yes of course, mulder, she CLEARLY should have known!

(later in that episode, skinner comes down to scold them, and asks why they’re even in pennsylvania, to which he says that they’re here on a “video piracy case” <- LMAOOOO least convincing lie ever told)

also in episode 9: his line “you think believing is easy?” followed by letting that sit for a bit, exploring the tensions and implications- how hard it is for mulder to keep the faith that there are answers in this world, and perhaps even justice to go along with them. how it doesn’t come as naturally to him as you may think, it’s about hope and protecting your loved ones and doing whatever it takes, killing or dying, to learn the Truth, because the Truth is hope

(at this point in taking notes, i proceeded to ramble on for like a paragraph with Intense Emotions, and even talking about this episode again is making me want to go on a lecture tour about how fantastic it was)

in episode 10, a passenger on the train with her child sees the dead body of a doctor and screams. mulder pivots, tells the woman that the doctor is just sick, smiles, and ruffles the kid’s hair

(he ruffles another kid’s hair in episode 23… don’t think i didn’t notice)

angrily quoting scripture in episode 11

(and he also says he considers the bible to be poetry rather than a literal history in this one, which i think is fascinating)

sitting in his car, watching the night sky in episode 12, when he asks over the phone: “look scully, i know it’s not your inclination, but did you ever look up into the night sky and feel certain that not only was something up there, but it was looking down at you at the exact same moment, and was just as curious about you as you are about it?” goshhh what a wonderful way to see the world... a universe of mutual curiosity with answers that can be found if only you are dedicated enough to hunt for them

dr. ivanov’s little bug robot liking mulder and following him around <3 someone pls get him a cat!!

AND that episode wrapup: “the development of our cerebral cortex has been the greatest achievement of the evolutionary processes. big deal.” <- it had me absolutely giggling… as a profiler and student of the human brain, it really IS a big deal!! he knows that!! but he was so angry about how it all went down his bitterness won that day lmaooo

(BUT ALSO: he wakes up in his JEANS in this episode??? what kind of dude SLEEPS in his JEANS... we need to launch a full federal investigation)

when he tries to call to the kitty in episode 14 <3

and then he goes to the library to read up on gargoyles, but he was pulling so many all-nighters that he just straight up fell asleep on the table, and it was So Cute

in episode 15, he knows that "ronin" is the term for a samurai without a master, which made me laugh (and he claims he knows it from watching samurai movies… nerd!)

when he hops into an empty grave in episode 19 and starts digging with his hands while someone yells “what the hell is he doing!” and scully watches, knowing that is the sort of behavior he is just hardwired to do

mulder (possibly) eating an entire sweet potato pie in episode 20. narrative-wise we shall never know the truth.

how intensely attached he is to skinner being revealed in episode 21; how he believes whole-heartedly that he is innocent even when all of the evidence is against him. how when skinner dismisses his case as none of their business mulder counters with "of course it is", as if there was no other option. how he listens to skinner’s stories of terror in vietnam. how he is disappointed skinner won’t tell him what really happened that night. if you want to cry, go watch that scene where he leaves skinner's office realizing he won't talk about it. it made me emotional.

(he also pulls a giant book off his shelf in that episode and flips to the page talking about succubi, which makes me wonder what other kinds of literature he keeps in his office, pls let me come browse)

((there is also a moment where he gets really angry and pushes his jacket back with his hands on his hips and i swear my heart nearly stopped))

episode 22’s “i know the difference between expectation and hope. seek and you shall find, scully” it's just SO good and so Him

when he visits her motel room in episode 23 and gets all cozied up on her couch to talk case theories... i was giggling!!!

how he tries so hard to be brave and hold it together when she is missing in that one, too- calling her mother to check where she is, apologizing for disturbing mrs. scully because he knows how intense this must be for her after everything her daughter has gone through, bouncing his basketball in his apartment to keep himself moving, how he tells the lone gunmen with an even voice that she isn’t okay when he needs to go ID a body, and how he kicks the door of the man who got them involved with this case, forgoing answers for her. ripping my hair out from all my emotions btw.

mulder being convinced that he could talk scully back into her senses even after she shot at him (!!!) and refusing to accept her mother’s answers that she wasn’t at her home

when he visits scully in the hospital after her wavelength-induced psychosis, he enters the room with his hands up, jokingly surrendering after she had held him at gunpoint. because he cannot be serious ever, and he Needs to make a joke and lighten the mood, to try and make her feel comfortable. 

AND how he turns the TV off when he enters, knowing what the TV did to get her there. and how he leaves after a while, whispering “why don’t you try and get some rest?” on the way out, so scared to have seen her like that, wanting to give her all the time she needs to recover <3

in the finale he sits by his mom in her hospital bed; he holds her hand, notices she is cold and covers her with a blanket (gosh that one made me inconsolable- scully was talking to him and he couldn't even respond, because his mom was cold, and he needed to fix that, to make her comfortable)

he touches her hair and whispers “mom”, and smiles at her when she opens her eyes, saying everything is going to be okay; then later, he’s crying as he holds her hand to his cheek, and i’m crying too

and when they go to meet up with “jeremiah smith” later, he makes scully get behind him, holding the only weapon that could kill jeremiah in his hands and standing in front of her to keep her safe

[thecleverqueer]

I really hate that folks use the Wrong Jedi as an excuse to hate the Jedi order. There really was A LOT going on with that, and if looked at through a neutral lens, neither the Jedi nor Ahsoka were really to blame. They both just made some questionable decisions that they felt were right in the moment, and they ended up making things worse. Let me explain:

First, as an audience, we’re following Ahsoka’s POV. Because of this, we’re seeing her side unfold. That’s important. We’re seeing what she is going through. We know she didn’t bomb the temple, and the Jedi council knew this as well. After all, the council did entrust Anakin and Ahsoka to investigate the bombing initially, and trusted no other Jedi to get involved because they were sure that neither Anakin nor Ahsoka were the perpetrators while everyone else remained suspect. They were, after all, off-world when the bombing happened.

Then, things get a little hairy with the death of Letta in the cell. We know Ahsoka didn’t do it. We were in the room with her when Letta died. However, in prior scenes, Ahsoka is going off the rails about Letta “paying” or “being dealt with” for bombing the temple. Letta dying by force choke while Ahsoka happened to be talking to her alone in a cell was convenient (and I would argue that was either set up by Tarkin via Palpatine, or we could argue that Barriss wanked off so hard about how amazing Ahsoka was that Letta felt compelled to reach out her for help at the wrong moment, but either way, too convenient).

At this point, the council’s hands are tied, but I feel like they would still want to get more information before throwing the book at Ahsoka. I feel like they would have proceeded with caution, but would have probably been able to ultimately work it all out in Ahsoka’s favor. A video with no audio would not be enough evidence to convince them that Ahsoka was responsible for BOTH Letta’s death AND the bombing (especially since the Jedi were already convinced she had nothing to do with the bombing to begin with).

Then, Ahsoka does something monumentally stupid. She breaks out of her cell and tries to make a break for it. I get why she does it. First off, she was young. Second, she’d always escaped situations exactly like the one she was in when in trouble and ran away (just not when a literal system of justice was involved). Third, she was scared. And finally, she didn’t trust the process. I blame Anakin’s training primarily for her lack of trust in the process. Throughout their time together, we see them breaking rules, not placing trust in the council’s judgement (which was fair sometimes in their defense, but set a bad precedent).

Running was still a VERY BAD LOOK. And, it’s funny, because Ahsoka LITERALLY SAYS in the PRIOR episode that “running means you know more than you’re telling us” to Letta when Letta tries to make a break for it after she was caught for bombing the temple. Ahsoka KNOWS running makes one look guilty, and still… had she just kept her ass planted in that cell, it would have been fine, but… Yeah. All those dead clones between her and that door. We still know that it wasn’t Ahsoka. We were with Ahsoka on this journey. The members of the Jedi council were not. At this point, they had to look at the evidence that was in front of them. From outside of Ahsoka’s POV, it doesn’t look good. Ahsoka said it herself. Anakin tried to tell her as much too before she fled to the under-city, but at that point, she was definitely in over her head.

The council had no other options honestly. They explain this to the audience. Tarkin refused to allow the council to deal with the matter internally as the Jedi Council requested. Tarkin demanded she be sent to face justice by military tribunal. The council bent. Standing by Ahsoka would be an open act of defiance against the senate which would cause chaos for the order both politically and judicially. While a dark sense clouded the entire situation, they could do nothing. The temple had been bombed. People died. Letta was dead. Ahsoka ran. Clones died in that incident. Then, Ahsoka ended up getting apprehended right by the nano droid explosives. We know Ahsoka didn’t do it as we were with her the whole time, but that’s A LOT of evidence stacked against her if you didn’t know any better.

Anakin worked tirelessly to clear Ahsoka’s name, and succeeded. The council, realizing that they’d had a lapse in judgement, offered Ahsoka an invitation to return to the order. They half-ass apologized as they realized they were wrong, and they offered Ahsoka knighthood for what she’d gone through. She refused.

Ahsoka’s reason for leaving wasn’t that she “hated the council” or that she thought they were innately bad or wrong. She left because she’d lost all sense of trust, including trust in herself (and I won’t make this about the Barriss and Ahsoka dynamic, but that was part of it too). She knew something was off, and couldn’t place it. She had to go sort everything out on her own for a bit. Ultimately, if not for Order 66, she would have gone back to the Jedi after the war was over. Hell, she is still a Jedi now (in her show), just leery as fuck of organizations as a whole because of *gestures vaguely* everything.

So, yeah. In closing, the Jedi had flaws. They owned them. Ahsoka had flaws. The situation with the bombing was impossible. It doesn’t make either party bad, dumb or hate-worthy. It just wasn’t working out at that moment… and due to galactic events, it was never really resolved.

[simonlynch]

sugarplum.

ship: briarbear -> carm/wednesday (s/I) wc: 1376 summary: briar introduces themselves to carm's coworkers for the first time.

Richie barely looked up from his phone when he heard the door, still recouping from lunch rush. 

Probably some straggler, he thinks, and if they can be late to lunch, he can take a fuckin’ minute to take their order --

“Uh, hello?”

“Yo, what can we --” he pauses, chokes on the ice he's chewing as his eyes set upon them.

Their hair is pulled back, dark; this week it's dyed a deep plum color, ombre with peach that sets a highlight just about their cheekbones, where the few bright colored ends of their grown bangs that weren't tied back lay. The light dye popped especially against the minimal but dark makeup accenting their face, and that black sweater they wore…It was strangely familiar, but Richie could scarcely process the fact.

Had he half a mind, he'd ask if they're as sweet as they looked. But fortunately for them both, he was left utterly dumbfounded. 

“How can, uh, I help you?”

“Is Carmy here?”

“...Carmy?”

“Sorry -- Carmen?”

Richie shakes his head, “Nah, I know who you're talkin’ about, it's just --” he sighs, before turning his head towards the kitchen and letting out a very disappointed “Yo, cous!”

It's a moment before the vaguely annoyed “What, Richie?” comes back to him. 

“Got a minute?”

“Uh, not really.”

“Yeah, well, your services are requested at front of house, chef.”

“...What?”

Richie takes the time to let his gaze linger, stuttering a not-so thoughtful “Er --” before moving closer to the kitchen, or at the least out of earshot of the dining room.

“I mean, there's some hot piece of ass askin’ for you out there. Like, by name.”

“What the fuck -- ?” Carm groans, “Fine. I’ll be right there. Shit.”

He finishes dicing the smattering of vegetables on his cutting board and, then with a sigh wipes the sweat from his brow. It's hard to remember how hot the kitchen can get, and this thought is what claws its way to the forefront of his mind as a million other things begin to unfurl in the background of his brain; He's behind on prep, who the fuck could be asking for him? Gas bill’s due tomorrow. Speaking of gas, he needs to stop and get some on the way home. He’ll be late, he should probably take a minute and text --

He mutters a weak “Corner,” in the second it takes him to approach and round the deli bar doorway, and he tosses the towel he's wiping his hands on over his shoulder. When he peers past the counter though, his eyebrows raise, and he lets out an airy chuckle. 

“‘Scuse us for a minute, would you, cousin?”

Richie nods, shrugs, and barely moves an inch into the kitchen doorway. Carmy rolls his eyes and takes another step beyond into the dining room, head slightly hunched as they speak in hushed tones that the rest of the staff one at a time slowly gathers to strain to hear in curiosity. 

“Little busy, sweets.”

“I won't stay long. Just wanted to pop in, ‘sall.”

“No, I mean, I’m not sayin’ that, it's just…” he trails off, shakes his head, and pivots his thoughts, “I thought you had a thing today.”

“A thing? Like, you mean my job? Like, that thing?”

“Well, it's a thing.”

“A thing, yeah I guess it's a thing, but like, I get paid to do it, so…I mean, like --”

“Well, yeah. But I mean, how did it go?”

“Like an everyday kind of thing...It was fine. It was this morning. So, y'know...Now I’m here.”

They stare at each other for another awkward moment, though the embarrassment seems to lie more in Carmy than it does Briar, almost as if they’re reveling in it. Richie stifles a giggle.

“Anyways, you left without your key this morning. I just wanted to drop it off, in case I’m asleep tonight.”

Carm sighs, watching carefully as they dangle the lanyard in front of him, pooling the fabric into his hand when he finally extends it.

“I’ll be late, by the way.”

“Always are.”

“...Sorry.”

He looks at them. He knows that he should be tucking the loose strand of hair away from their face, telling them they look pretty today, especially in the cute outfit they've seemed to fashion out of his old torn black sweatshirt. He knows he should be making excuses, promising to do better but he doesn't, and he hopes that they understand that it's a promise he can't make, and that he'd rather not make it at all than break it. He knows he should be leaning in, and kissing them and reminding them how much he loves them, that he appreciates how patient they are, how attentive and forgiving they are to his appearing distance, perhaps more now that they lived in Chicago than when they had stayed behind in New York. He recounts every single shortcoming he can muster within himself, not of his own accord, and also dinner starts in about three hours, and he hears the ring of the timer he set for himself to do a walkthrough, and he has to temp all the coolers still and don't forget to check Mikey’s office for the address book in case it has anything in it and he should probably call back that guy about getting the lights in the back alley fixed and has anyone checked the chicken in the past thirty minutes? 

The brush of their skin against his draws him back, and in the moment his eyes dart down to where their hands touch, he realizes the weight of the cigarette carton in his other. He should offer to chat with them while he takes a break. He should take the ends of their hair between his fingers and compliment them, he doesn't want them to think he hasn't noticed it's changed color. He was observant, if nothing else. 

In his mind, he offers a plethora of compliments, “You look gorgeous today, sugarplum. Your hair looks great, pumpkin. I miss you, jellybean.”

The last stings all too well, burned into his memory by having typed it so frequently just not so long ago. 

Instead, he wraps his fingers around the house key, and pulls it gently until it's close enough to shove into his pocket. He searches their face for any sign of understanding, and he finds apology and sympathy instead. 

Because they didn't understand, and perhaps they never would. But they would again and again wait up two, three, four hours past midnight until they heard the front door open and shut, until they felt the warmth of him next to themselves in bed or found themselves otherwise chasing him down to the couch and sleeping there next to him -- Just so they could say they wake up to see his smile every morning. 

He looks down to the key, dangling from his pocket, and back to them.

“Thank you.”

“See you at home, teddy.”

“Seeya.”

“Didn't even offer me lunch? Tsk, damn, I see how it is,” his expression falters for a moment, and he almost begins to speak before they cut him off with a chuckle, “I’m fuckin’ with you, Carm.”

He almost smiles. They flick a stray crumb from his shirt with a wink before spinning and heading towards the door. 

They turn, catching one last glance at him.

“This place is homey, by the way. You should let me do a shoot here, sometime…Oh, and you can tell your friends my name is Briar!” 

They wave their fingers one last time before headed out back into the city. 

Carmy moves to retreat to the kitchen, nerves still burning where they'd touched him, the echoing sound of their voice in his mind grounding him before he can get too deep into his thoughts again. But when he looks back, he sees the mass of chefs crowded, peeking from the doorway. 

“The fuck, guys?”

“Briar's a fun name,” Tina smiles, “Caught a good one, Jeff.”

“Shit, yeah, don't let that one go.”

“Richie --”

“Not quite how I pictured them.”

“Syd -- You know, fuck all of you. Back to fucking work, please.”

The resounding chorus of “Yes, chef,” that greets his ears in reply has never sounded sweeter. 

[ilguna]

Hi how about expired medicine number 83 with doctor strange? pls 💛

☼ when the dead rise pt1 (Stephen Strange) ☼

warnings; swearing, a lot of mention of death, actual death, ehh gore, injuries, use of weapons.

wc; 14.8k

prompt; 83. "Did you really have to be that honest?"

notes; the entire imagine is an infinity war spoiler. all of it. with some stephen sprinkled in, some angst, and very little tony slander (blink and you'll miss it). sorry not sorry.

—

“Seriously, you don’t have any money?” Stephen asks Wong, beginning to go down the steps.

“Attachment to the material is detachment from the spiritual.” Wong replies, following behind the two of you.

“I’ll tell the guys at the deli. Maybe they’ll make you a metaphysical ham on rye.” Stephen muses, you let out a light laugh.

“Oh, wait, wait wait. I think I have two-hundred.”

“Dollars?” You ask, as you stop on the step to look at him.

“Rupees.” He smiles.

“Which is?” Stephen asks, not bothering to turn around.

“Uh, buck and a half.” 

Stephen sighs, “What do you want?”

Wong claps his hands together, you let him pass you on the steps, before starting down them again. “I wouldn’t say no to a tuna melt.”

A blinding light comes from the sunroof, shaking the whole building, and slamming straight through the ceiling. A flurry of wooden splinters and marble go flying through the air, as you’re taken with the mass. The debris creates a hazy smog, which coats your throat in a few breaths.

“(Y/n)?” Stephen’s tone is alarmed.

“I’m alive.” You cough, wiping the dusty film from your face.

When you turn your head to see what came crashing through the ceiling, you’re met with a green leg. It makes you jump slightly, as you jerk away from the person. It isn’t until you’ve made it to his face, do you realize there’s nothing to worry about.

It’s Bruce.

His skin is returning back to its regular pigment. He pants beside you, hand reaching out to grab your forearm. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Stephen and Wong peeking over the hole in the stairs, both on high alert. 

“Thanos is coming.” Bruce’s voice is still mixed with Hulks. On his next breath, it sounds more like him. “He’s coming.”

Stephen and Wong share a look, “Who?”

You pull your arm from Bruce, pushing to get to your feet. There’s a few aches that sprout, caused from you landing so aggressively. Wong creates an opening for you to walk through so they don’t have to pull you out of the hole in the staircase. On the other side, standing in the middle of the foyer, you begin to brush the dust off. It seems to be never ending.

“I need clothes.” Bruce says, “Or pants, at the very least.”

You rake your fingers through your hair, watching the dirt rain down around your head like a thin curtain. Wong walks away briefly, coming back with a change of clothes. He drops it into the hole, backing away to allow him to change in privacy.

“The whole planet is in danger.” Bruce says, “Thanos—he’s collecting these crystals that allow him to manipulate different things.” He pauses, you can barely see him pull the shirt over his head. “We’re next, he’s coming here to get more. And when he’s done, he’ll wipe out half of the population.”

Your eyes snap to Stephen, and find that his eyes are already on you, watching. A ticklish feeling crosses over your palms, as a different creeping feeling crawls up your spine and to the base of your neck, goosebumps covering your arms. As if your body is excited by the idea of it.

You aren’t. The thought of billions on your planet dying sends a pain through your heart. With a closed fist, you rub your chest, shaking your head at your boyfriend. This is not the time to be gauging your reaction. You can’t control it, as much as you wish you could.

“We need Tony.” Bruce says, “Tony Stark?”

Stephen raises his eyebrows. “Can we trust him?”

You tilt your head at him. “It’s Bruce, of course we can.”

While Wong begins the process of locating where Tony is at the moment, you and Stephen leave to change. Coincidentally, the suit you have was made for you by Tony, back when you had initially agreed to be an Avenger.

At the time, it was funny, because all these stipulations came with having it. To him, you were still a stranger, but he knew you were trustworthy. As much as he didn’t want to admit it at the time, it was hard for him not to think that. Especially since you were just a bystander the day Loki came to earth to wreak havoc.

You’d spent your entire life running away from problems that you couldn’t overcome or get away from, no matter how hard you tried. But as you watched those ships come through the portal, for the first time, your body had the opposite reaction of what it was used to doing. 

In street clothes, with barely any practice with the ability you’d recently discovered—you helped the heroes that were risking their lives to save yours. You threw yourself into that fight, despite knowing full well there was a chance you’d get killed for it. 

When Tony finally noticed what you were doing, and got over the initial panic of thinking you were Loki’s accomplice, he gave you an area to protect. Which doubled in size when he saw the impact you were causing. And when it was all said and done, he offered to help you.

You turned him down, out of fear of what the public would actually think when they saw you in action. Of course, you and your ability to bring people back from the dead was smeared across national television, painting you in a good light. That was in connection with the Avengers, though. You couldn’t stand the idea of what they’d say when you were on your own.

You got over it a few months later. You thought Tony would hold your first choice over your head, but he hasn’t mentioned it after all these years. Even though Tony can be an ass at times, you appreciate what he’s done for you.

The suit fits like a glove, despite not wearing it as frequently as you used to. You stopped right around the time Steve and Tony had their fight. The Avengers team crumbled after that, and you didn’t see a need to wear it anymore. Not with how peaceful it is.

Or rather, was.

You join the others back in the foyer, where you find Tony sitting on a couch with his hand over his mouth. At the sound of your approach, he looks over, eyes locking on the suit for a long moment, seemingly surprised that you’re wearing it, before giving you a half-smile.

“(Y/n).”

“Hey, Tony.” You cross your arms. “How’s Pepper?”

“She’s good.”

Stephen clears his throat, you turn to see him standing with Wong and Bruce a few feet away. You tilt your head, wandering to stand next to the staircase railing. “Go ahead.”

“At the dawn of the universe, there was nothing.” Wong begins. “Then…” An explosion of stars appears in the air, creating a galaxy that surrounds you. “Boom. The Big Bang sent six elemental crystals hurtling across the virgin universe. These Infinity Stones each control an essential aspect of existence.”

“Space.” Stephen says, as the floating blue crystal begins to glow, moving off to the side. “Reality.” This stone is a bright red “Power.” A purple stone shines. “Soul.” The orange one sizzles. “Mind.” As the yellow one reflects the light. “And Time.” Stephen finishes, adjusting the necklace that rests against his chest.

He touches it, bending his fingers as he pulls his hands away from each other. This unlocks the restrictions briefly, letting the shimmering green stone breathe.

“Tell me his name again.” Tony says.

“Thanos.” Bruce begins to walk toward him. “He’s a plague, Tony. He invades planets. He takes what he wants.” Tony has gotten to his feet, meeting Bruce in the middle. “He wipes out half the population. He sent Loki. The attack on New York, that’s him.”

The same creeping feeling comes back, something bubbling beneath your skin. Your face twists, “What?”

“This is it.” Tony takes a step back to walk around the room. “What’s our timeline?”

“No telling. He has the Power and Space Stones.” Bruce is following him. “That already makes him the strongest creature in the whole universe. If he gets his hands on all six stones, Tony…”

“He could destroy life on a scale hitherto undreamt of.” Stephen says.

You walk to join the circle that’s formed on the other side of the staircase.

“Did you seriously just say ‘hitherto undreamt of’?” Tony asks.

“Are you seriously leaning on the Cauldron of the Cosmos?” Stephen shoots back. 

“Is that what it is?” Tony asks, bending his leg back to stretch it, Stephen’s cloak slaps him. You cringe, because you know that wasn’t a move most people would make. “I’m going to allow that.” He stares at Stephen wordlessly, and then takes a breath. “If Thanos needs all six, why don’t we just stick this one down a garbage disposal?”

“No can do.” Stephen shakes his head.

“We swore an oath to protect the Time Stone with our lives.” Wong tells him.

“And I swore off dairy but then Ben & Jerry’s named a flavor after me, so—”

“Stark Raving Hazelnuts.” You laugh, playing with a piece of wood with your shoe.

“It’s not bad.” Tony looks in your direction.

“A bit chalky.” Stephen says.

“A Hunk of Hulk of Burning Fudge is our favorite.” Wong says.

“That’s a thing?” Bruce’s face is twisted, looking between you.

“Whatever.” Tony says. “Point is, things change.”

“Our oath to protect the Time Stone cannot change. And this stone may be the best chance we have against Thanos.” Stephen tells him.

“Yeah, so conversely, it may also be his best chance against us.”

“Well, if we don’t do our jobs.” Stephen doesn’t budge, and he’s not going to.

Tony turns to face him fully. “What is your job exactly? Besides making balloon animals.”

“Protecting your reality, douchebag.” 

You press your lips together, rubbing your forehead. Bruce interjects. “Okay, guys. Could we table this discussion right now? The fact is we have this stone.” he holds his hand out in Stephen’s direction. “We know where it is. Vision is out there somewhere with the Mind Stone and we have to find him now.”

“Yeah, that’s the thing.” Tony mutters, looking away.

“What do you mean?” 

“Two weeks ago, Vision turned off his transponder. He’s offline.” Tony shrugs.

“What?”

“Yeah.” He begins to walk away again, you share a look with Stephen.

“These used to be your people?” He asks, “You followed him?”

You wave him off. “We work better in the moment.”

“Tony, you lost another super-bot?” Bruce asks.

“I didn’t lose him. He’s more than that. He’s evolving.” Tony glances over his shoulder.

“Who could find Vision then?” Stephen asks.

Tony’s silent, you let out a sigh. “Probably Steve Rogers. Right, Tony?”

“Oh, great.” Stephen turns away.

“Maybe.” Tony agrees, sighing. “But…”

“Call him.” Bruce says. 

“It’s not that easy.” Tony faces Bruce. “God, we haven’t caught up in a spell, have we? The Avengers broke up, we’re toast.”

“Broke up?” Bruce repeats. “Like a band. Like—like the Beatles?” 

“Cap and I fell out hard.” Tony shakes his head. “We’re not on speaking terms.”

“Tony, listen to me.” Bruce says, stepping closer. “Thor’s gone. Thanos is coming. It doesn’t matter who you’re talking to or not.”

Tony looks away, sighing. He walks a few feet away, reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone. After he flips it open, he scrolls through to find Steve’s number, staring at it.

He then lifts his head, staring at the wall in front of him. At the same time, you can feel the ground rumbling through your shoes. You reach to grab Stephen, hand closing around the sleeve of his suit. The vases and lamps begin to shake, clinking against the surface they’re resting on.

The five of you stand quietly, listening to the distant noise, until Tony turns around. “Say, Doc, you wouldn’t happen to be moving your hair, would you?”

You look at Stephen to see what Tony means, finding one of the strands that refuses to stay put, wiggling against his forehead. As if a breeze is constantly moving through his hair.

“Not at the moment, no.” 

The sound is getting louder, Tony looks up through the hole in the ceiling where Bruce had come from. Your attention is turned to the door, where one person runs by, then two. And they don’t look like they’re jogging.

A dreadful feeling washes over your body as you follow Tony to the door. The closer you get, the louder the screaming is. He swings it open, stepping out onto the sidewalk. You follow him with crossed arms, looking in the direction of where everyone is running away from. 

There’s traffic down the street, people are getting out of cars to abandon their vehicles to run away from the danger. A strong gust of air blows through, pulling abandoned papers and leaves with them. You dodge several people to keep up with Tony’s speed.

The police sirens are getting louder, but they’re likely not coming in this direction. You watch as a silver car drives straight into a light pole. Tony points at it, “Help him!”

“Banner!” Wong calls.

“Wong, look alive!” 

“Go, go! We got it!” Bruce waves you on.

Tony reaches into his shirt to pull out his tech glasses. “Friday, what am I looking at?”

You stop for a second, allowing Stephen to catch up. He reaches to touch your back, guiding you forward with him. 

“I don’t want you to worry about me out here.” You tell him. 

“I’ll keep you safe.” He says.

“No, I can do that myself.” You press your finger into his chest. “You worry about you.”

Tony turns around. “Hey! You might wanna put that Time Stone in your back pocket, Doc!”

“Might wanna use it.” He says, magic surrounding his forearm. 

Tony peeks around the corner, pulling his head back when a red blanket whips through the air, being blown away. He begins to walk out into the open, and when it’s your turn to see what’s causing the chaos, you swallow. 

A giant spaceship in the shape of a ring is down the street to the left. It’s hovering in the air, giving off an electrical buzz. From what you can see, there’s no alien life near it, meaning they must be inside, or they’ve left it behind.

“Friday, evac anyone south of 43rd Street. Notify first responders.”

Stephen moves his hands, working up the magic before he shoves his palms out, sending a blast of air back at the ship. In the silence that settles, you can hear the sirens in the distance. It’s much easier to walk through the street without the wind resistance.

As you grow closer to the ship, a beam of blue light shines down onto the street, two alien beings appearing at the bottom. The one on the left being about the same size as Hulk, dressed in armor with a giant scythe, you believe. While the creature on the right is half the others’ size, fingers pressed together.

Tony’s pace slows the closer you get, leaving four car distances between you and the aliens.

“Hear me and rejoice.” The one on the right begins. Tony crosses his arms. “You are about to die at the hands of the Children of Thanos.”

The giant one says something, lifting his weapon to hold with both hands, revealing that it’s a pickaxe.

“Be thankful that your meaningless lives are now contributing—”

“I’m sorry, Earth is closed today.” Tony cuts him off. “You better pack it up and get outta here.”

“Stonekeeper.” The creature says, eyes on Stephen. “Does this chattering animal speak for you?”

“Certainly not. I speak for myself.” He says, walking forward, moving his hands to show off his magic. “You’re trespassing in this city and on this planet.” Wong does the same behind you.

“He means get lost, Squidward.” Tony says.

“He exhausts me.” The noseless creature says. The tall one responds in the same foreign language. “Bring me the stone.”

“Banner, you want a piece?” Tony asks.

Bruce hums, “No, not really. But when do I ever get what I want?” He claps his hands together, rubbing.

“That’s right.”

“Okay. Push!” He grunts, his skin turning green up until his neck.

“It’s been a while.” Tony says. “It’s gonna be good to have you, buddy.”

“Okay, shh.” He hushes him. “Let me just… I need to concentrate here for a second. Come on, come on, man.”

The tall alien slams its weapon into one of the cars that’re parked on the side of the street.

“Where’s your guy?” Tony asks.

Bruce sighs, “I don’t know. We’ve sorta been having a thing.”

“It’s no time for a thing.” Tony touches his shoulder.

“I know.”

Tony points to the creature. “That’s the thing right there. Let’s go.”

It’s drawing closer with each step. Bruce begins to grunt, his voice changing, green spreading up to his lips. Stephen turns to look between you and Tony, you close your eyes.

“Dude, you’re embarrassing me in front of the wizards.”

“Tony, I’m sorry.” Bruce whispers. “Either I can’t or he won’t.”

“It’s okay.” He pushes Bruce away to stand with Wong. “Hey, stand down.” He looks at Wong. “Keep an eye on him. Thank you.”

“I have him.”

“Damn it.” Bruce mutters.

The creature jogs toward you, letting out a deep roar. Tony pulls on the strings of his track jacket, tapping the arc reactor in his chest twice. Almost out of thin air, his suit begins to crawl over his body efficiently. By the time the creature and him are face to face, he’s in his suit completely.

Tony uses a shield, falling into a kneeling position when he takes the hit. He then stands, swinging at the creature’s face, landing the punch.

As the alien recovers, you watch as the nanotech springs out of his back when he holds his arms out straight, creating four extra blasters that aid him in sending the alien down the street. The shorter one waves his hand, directing his friend to slam into several cars, instead of hitting him.

The blasters merge back into the suit.

“Where’d that come from?” Bruce asks.

“It’s nanotech. You like it? It’s a little something I—”

Tony skyrockets, leaving a trail of dirt behind him as he flies into the air. The alien raises his other hand, uprooting two trees on either side of the street, flicking his hand forward. Wong jumps in front of you, Stephen and Bruce to create a shield. 

“Doctor Banner, if the rest of your green friend won’t be joining us—” He creates a portal, Bruce falls through it. The alien throws half of a taxi in your direction, which makes it through the portal before it’s sealed.

Stephen and Wong move in sync, preparing another cast to stop the car that’s coming in your direction. Tony flies through the middle, forcing it back in the direction of the alien. He simply lifts his hand, unbothered, and it’s sliced in half, narrowly missing him, crashing onto the street behind.

“Gotta get that stone outta here, now.” Tony says.

“It stays with me.” Stephen emphasizes.

“Exactly. Bye.” Tony says, before turning to the alien and beginning to fly at him. At first, it’s slow, as he dodges several pillars that the alien knocks down to squish him. 

He then picks up speed, but the large alien has recovered, throwing a new weapon, a hammer. The handle extends like a chain, plowing Tony down the street, through a building, and into the park where Stephen had gotten him from.

The alien retracts the chain, and begins to chase after where Tony had gone, running straight into the building without slowing down. You press your lips together, eyes landing on the shorter creature. He raises his hands, palms up, pulling out a dozen bricks that line the streets.

When he twists his hands, the bricks crumble into spikes, which he sends flying in your direction. Stephen creates another portal, allowing the brick to go in. While Wong creates another, sending it out, back in the alien’s direction. He lifts a car to block his own creation, but he’s still nicked.

He breaks a fire hydrant, knocking Wong away. Stephen uses a lasso, getting it around the alien, and pulling him in your guys’ direction. You twist out of the way, right as they slam into each other, flying into a building.

You stumble over to Wong, kneeling next to him. He’s breathing, there’s blood trickling from his temple, where he hit his head. When you look up at Stephen, you can see that the alien has him trapped against the wall using bricks to hold him still.

The alien reaches to grab the Time Stone, but jerks away suddenly. He then throws Stephen onto the street, several feet away from you. You jump to your feet to help him when you see rope sprout from the ground to restrict his hands.

“(Y/n), don’t—!” He shouts.

A car sideswipes you, hard. It slams into the left of your body, knocking you into the car on your right. You can feel the pain blossoming in your ribs from the impact, as you shakily press a hand over the area.

The rope is constricting around Stephen, growing tighter by the second as it wraps around his legs, his torso, and around his neck. The alien makes a fist, the rope stiffens, Stephen lets out a grunt.

“Stop!” You shout.

“You’ll find removing a dead man’s spell troublesome.” Stephen manages to get out.

“You’ll only wish you were dead.”

The coil around Stephen’s neck tightens for the final time, you watch as his eyes roll back. He falls, unconscious, bouncing off the cop car and landing on the asphalt. You jerk forward, but the alien flattens you against the car.

He takes a small chunk of the road out using one hand, turning his back to float away with your boyfriend. It doesn’t work longer for a second, the Cloak of Levitation wraps around Stephen’s body, rocketing off and down the street. 

“No!” The alien shouts, and then his eyes land on you. 

You adjust to sit on your knees, lacing your fingers, and then slamming your hands into the asphalt, refusing to break eye contact with the alien. A tremor goes through the ground, a blast of hot air following. Car alarms begin to go off in response.

“Rise!” You demand.

The ground begins to shake, rocking you back and forth. You have to place your palms on the ground to keep from getting knocked over. One by one, a collection of species of the dead begin to rise out of the ground, breaking the street into pieces. Usually, you try not to do this in cities because of the construction it takes to repair the damage you made.

Right now, you have no choice.

Humans and aliens alike get to their feet, in varying stages of decay. Some are missing limbs, others have jaws barely holding on, with skin sagging so bad that you can see the muscle underneath. It starts with a simple dozen, but the numbers multiply, until every last dead person in the area is out of the ground.

You get to your feet, leaning against the car. “Kill him.”

At once, they rush forward to attack. You turn around, running in the opposite direction, where the cloak is taking Stephen. You can hear the undead army roaring behind you, as they work together to reach the alien that’s hovering over the ground. 

You take a shortcut through the thin, white building that Tony and the larger alien had gone through. From what you can see, Tony is still in the park, fighting him. There’s a blur of red and a hint of blue swinging away.

“You brought the kid into this?” You shout, crossing the street.

“I didn’t call him here!” Tony defends.

Already, you can feel your army growing weaker, meaning that the dead you’d conjured aren’t the strongest. You suck in a breath, and release, feeling the dark energy leave you to allow the bodies to fall. They were more of a distraction to allow you to leave without getting hurt.

You watch as Tony shoots at the alien haphazardly, flying away to dodge his attacks with the hammer. Tony disappears behind the statue in the park, causing the alien to swing at the concrete, destroying it. When Tony gets in too close, the alien secures an electric robotic hand around Tony, throwing him to the ground.

He leaves a path in the grass, trapped and unable to move.

“Are you going to help or not?” Tony’s voice is strained.

“I’m no help, here!” You tell him.

The alien charges in Tony’s direction, a large blade flinging out from his armor. As he jumps, going to stab Tony through the chest, a portal appears. The alien lands on the other side, you jog up behind Wong and Bruce to see that it’s the arctic, lots of snow. He turns around suddenly, jumping in your direction to come back through.

Only his hand makes it out, as Wong closes the portal. The severed hand rolls to a stop at Bruce’s feet, skin sizzling. Bruce kicks it, “Ugh.”

“Wong, you’re invited to my wedding.” Tony says, prying the bars off of his suit. “(Y/n), do you have your mask?”

You nod, reaching through the front of your suit, where the mask is tucked into a pocket on the inside. You pull it out, yanking it over your face. Tony bends his knees, allowing you to line up behind him, wrapping your arm around his neck. The stickiness of your gloves comes into contact with his suit, securing you there. 

“Ready?” He asks.

“Let’s go.” You tell him.

He places his hands at his sides, and the two of you shoot off, up into the sky. You can feel the tough wind through your suit, but it’s not bad enough to complain about. You tilt your head back slightly to see the alien ship, presumably where Peter and Stephen had been sucked in to. 

“I think it’s time for you to get a new suit.” Tony says, you can hear him in your ear.

“It’s a shame I didn’t keep in contact.” 

“That doesn’t matter.” He says. “Friday, unlock 19-C. And give me a little juice.”

You press your face against the back of his neck, and you fly through the air faster to get to the spaceship. If it weren’t for your gloves, you’d be falling to the ground right now, thinking about how you’d be dead in a few seconds.

“Unlock 17-A.” Tony says.

The ship is flying out of the atmosphere, straight into space. 

“Pete, you gotta let go. I’m gonna catch you.” Tony says, talking to Peter. You suck in short breaths through your nose, “We’re too high up. You’re running out of air.” He then turns his head slightly. “(Y/n), let go.”

“I want to get on that ship.” You gasp.

“You’ll be right behind me.” Tony says.

You pull your hand off of his chest, anxiety rising in your stomach. You have to tell yourself that Tony would never kill you. He wouldn’t send a suit up here if he knew there was a chance it’d malfunction and get you killed.

You take another breath, and let go, watching as Tony flies away. A scream rises in your throat as you begin to kick your legs and wave your arms, desperate for something to hold on to.

There’s a sudden impact in the middle of your back, as you feel a cool sensation begin to cover your body. The moment the nanotech covers your face, you take a breath, finally able to breathe real air. 

“Are you with me?” Tony asks.

The new suit covers the last spot on your thigh. “I’m in.”

“Friday, keep Gloom with me!”

You fly forward, the suit following after Tony on its own. Just by looking around on the inside, there’s a lot of technology that was put into the suit. He must’ve really evolved his engineering, because this is impressive.

“Mr. Stark, it smells like a new car in here!” You can hear Peter.

“Happy trails, kid.” Tony says. “Friday, send him home.”

A parachute springs out of Peter’s back, pulling him back. A little bit of relief goes through you, because there’s no reason why he should be up here. Your suit whizzes past him, coming to idle by Tony as he cuts a hole through the metal of the ship. When he gets it open, he allows you to crawl in first before following.

You take a few steps in, the nanotech disappearing from your face, stopping at your neck. You watch as the ship's machines extend and flex, blue electricity moving off a giant disk above you.

Tony sighs. “Yeah.”

You glance over to see his head is turned away.

“Honey, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say.” He says, glancing at you. “Pep?” The connection must be lost, because he shakes his head.

“So, what’s the plan?” You ask, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“Let’s find your boyfriend then we’ll work from there.” Tony says, walking away. “Speaking of which—an interesting choice. How did the two of you meet?”

You smile, and then laugh slightly. “He almost hit me with his car, twice in the same day.”

“And you thought dating him was a good idea?” Tony looks back at you.

You shrug. “He made it up to me. And since, all he ever does is protect me. I owe him my life.”

He stops briefly, “What happened to the kickass (Y/n)?” 

You place a hand on his shoulder. “She’s been hibernating, but with all this talk about death…” You trail off. “Trust me, Tony, she’s still here.”

“You’re sick.”

“And so are you.” You tell him.

The two of you go through the long hallway and through a door. With the ship being shaped like a large donut, it’s a confusing walk that Tony has to lead. He manages to bring you to a platform, four stories above where the alien is holding Stephen captive.

You lean over the side, hands drawing into fists when you hear Stephen grunt in pain. The alien seems to be manipulating clear shards to press into his skin, to force him to give up the Time Stone.

The Cloak suddenly appears, tapping Tony’s arm. He jerks, hand ready to blast the fabric. “Wow, you’re a seriously loyal piece of outerwear, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, uh, speaking of loyalty…”

You jump at the sound of Peter’s voice, turning in time to see him land on the platform.

“What the—”

“I know what you’re gonna say.” He puts his hands out.

“You should not be here.” Tony says.

“I was gonna go home.” Peter tries.

“I don’t wanna hear it.”

“But it was such a long way down and I just thought about you on the way.”

“And now I gotta hear it.” Tony sighs, shaking his head.

Peter raises his shoulders, “And I kinda stuck to the side of the ship. And this suit is ridiculously intuitive, by the way.”

Tony looks at you. “God damn it.”

You make a face at him. “You were the one that told him to chase after Stephen.”

“So, if anything, it’s kinda your fault that I’m here.” Peter says with a smile. 

Tony glares at him. “What did you just say?”

Peter realizes his mistake, stuttering, “I-I take that back. And now, I’m here in space.”

Tony steps forward. “Yeah, right where I didn’t want you to be.” He stops in front of Peter. “This isn’t Coney Island. This isn’t a field trip. This is a one-way ticket. You hear me? Don’t pretend you thought this through.”

“No, I did think this through.”

“You could not have possibly thought this through.”

Peter motions, “You can’t be a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man if there is no neighborhood.” Peter tells him, Tony stares blankly. “Okay, that didn’t really make sense, but you know what I’m trying to say.”

Tony takes in a breath, letting it out shakily. “Come on. We got a situation.”

Peter nods, glancing at you, “Hi, Miss (L/n).”

“Hey, Peter.” You smile, following Tony to stand on the edge of the platform.

“See him down there?” Tony asks, Peter peers over the side. “He’s trouble. What’s your plan? Go.”

Peter crouches, “Um…” there’s a brief pause. “Okay, okay, uh…” He stands up. “Okay. Did you ever see this really old movie, Aliens?”

You let out a snort, but when Tony looks at you, you cover your mouth. You try to swallow the laughter that wants to escape you, it doesn’t work. “So what does that make you, Tony, a dinosaur?”

He glares at you. “Not funny.”

“What’s the matter?” Peter asks, glancing between you two.

“Nothing, kid. Good work.” Tony tells him. “I’ll go down there and blast a hole in the ship. (Y/n), the suit will keep you from flying out, Peter I want you to grab the wizard. Assume position.”

You crouch on the platform, hand locking around the pillar to act as support. Peter crawls away to get on the ceiling, while the Cloak stays near you, waiting for Tony. It’s a shame you’re not able to do more, your abilities limit you in situations like these. Even if people have died on this spaceship, you wouldn’t be able to resurrect them the same way. And even if you could, there’s no dark pull. You have to have a connection, first.

Stephen lets out a scream, as the shards press further into his skin when the alien moves his hand. You grit your teeth.

Tony jumps down a second later, landing behind the alien on the strip, powering up his suit.

“Could end your friend’s life in an instant.” The alien says, loud enough for you to hear.

“I gotta tell you, he’s not really my friend. Saving his life is more of a professional courtesy.”

The alien lifts a hand, a chunk of metal sliding out of the spaceship, as he walks in Tony’s direction. “You’ve saved nothing.” He lifts his other hand, beckoning another piece of metal. “Your powers are inconsequential compared to mine.”

“Yeah, but the kid’s seen more movies.” Tony says.

You watch as Tony blasts a hole open on the far side of the ship. Immediately, the metal and the alien is sucked out into space, creating a blackhole for everything else that’s free-standing in the ship, including Stephen.

“No!” You shout.

The Cloak secures around one of his hands, but the pull is too strong. Stephen slips out, getting closer. Peter jumps from where he’s been sitting, a web shooting at Stephen to grab him. It secures, and when he tries to grab a metal pole inside of the ship, it snaps off.

You watch in horror as Stephen leaves the inside of the ship. Peter’s about to fly out behind him, when mechanical legs pop out from his back, stretching the length of the hole. The legs dip momentarily, before jumping back, pulling Peter and Stephen inside.

Tony works fast to block up the hole with metal, you jump from the top of the platform, landing harshly next to Stephen. He’s on his side, letting out a groan.

“Stephen,” You murmur, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Hey.”

He looks up at you, letting out a breath of relief. He grabs your hand, squeezing tightly. “You’re okay?”

Your eyebrows draw in, “I’m fine.”

He nods, twisting to sit up. You turn his head so that you can get a better look at his face, fingertips brushing against where the shards had touched his skin. You can’t even tell they were inside. The blood that is on his face is from being thrown away a few seconds ago.

“You have to be more careful, especially since they’re after you.”

Tony walks by, his suit disappearing.

“That’s why we gotta turn this ship around.” Stephen agrees, pushing to stand. You help him up.

“Yeah, now he wants to run. Great plan.” Tony says.

The Cloak of Levitation drapes itself over Stephen’s shoulders. You straighten it, walking behind him to follow after Tony. “No, I want to protect the stone.”

“And I want you to thank me.” Tony stops at the front of the ship, presumably. Except, there is no control panel, just a giant warped mess that allows you to see into the stars. And two giant mechanical arms with a singular place on both sides where you can stick your arm inside of to navigate it. “No, go ahead. I’m listening.”

“For what? Nearly blasting me into space?”

“Stephen.” You warn, “We can’t really fight in here.”

“Who just saved your magical ass? Me.” Tony turns around. 

“I seriously don’t know how you fit your head into that helmet.”

“Admit it, you should’ve ducked out when I told you to. I tried to bench you. You refused.” Tony says.

Stephen’s face twists. “Unlike everyone else in your life, I don’t work for you.” He glances at you, you turn your head to look at him, eyebrows raised.

“And due to that fact, we’re now in a flying doughnut, billions of miles from Earth with no backup.” 

“I’m backup.” Peter says from behind you, raising his hand.

“No, you’re a stowaway. The adults are talking.” He motions between the three of you.

“I’m sorry, I’m confused as to the relationship here.” He motions at Peter. “What is he, your ward?”

“No.” Peter says, offering his hand. “I’m Peter, by the way.”

“Doctor Strange.” Stephen says.

Peter drops his hand. “Oh, you’re using our made-up names. Um… I’m Spider-Man, then.” 

Stephen looks at you, completely unamused. “(Y/n), we should go back to Earth.”

“I’m not arguing with you.” You tell him. “In fact, if Thanos is going to go to Earth to kill half of our population, I say our best bet is to be down there.”

Tony scoffs. “You mean your best bet?” Stephen’s head snaps in his direction, your eyes narrow. “So you’ll be able to use the dead for your own personal army? By then it’ll be too late.”

“I don’t want billions of people to die, Tony.” You hiss. “For you to suggest that is a little offensive, don’t you think? I gain nothing from that.”

Tony tilts his head. 

That’s enough for you, jaw tightening, body feeling as if it’s been submerged in hot, bubbling oil. You start toward him, hands in fists at your sides. You could take deep breaths to calm down, but you think hitting him might make you feel better instead.

He doesn’t have to say anything, you know exactly what he’s thinking. While Tony has never questioned your sudden decision to switch from being a civilian to an Avenger, he has never let you forget that your abilities are far from heroic. He thinks they’re downright villainy. 

In times like these, you wonder whether or not he thinks you’re actually trustworthy, or if he’s just keeping you close, waiting for the day you finally turn on them. He’ll be the first one in line to take you down.

“I really hate it when you suggest otherwise.” You tell him lowly.

“(Y/n).” Stephen says behind you, trying to call you back.

Tony doesn’t move from where he stands. “(Y/n), we both know that you get tingly when it’s mentioned that people are dying.” He says, not caring that Stephen and Peter are standing feet away. You press your lips together. “Half of the population could die by Thanos’s hands today. You’re telling me you’re not the least bit excited by that?”

The creeping feeling begins. You grit your teeth, hard, trying to resist it. “No, because I’m human.” You tell him, unsure if you’re trying to convince yourself or him. It’s tickling the back of your neck, goosebumps starting to form. You won’t let him be right. “And even if my body reacts, my mind knows better. I’ll never stand by when I know I can help.”

“That’s where I don’t believe you.” 

You stop in front of him. “What’s your brilliant plan, then?”

Tony crosses his arms. “This ship is self-correcting its course. Thing’s on autopilot.”

Stephen comes to join you two at the front of the ship. He stops behind you, hand appearing on your lower back, rubbing slightly. You grind your teeth, tilting your head to the side to subtly let the shiver run through your body.

“Can we control it?” Stephen asks. “Fly us home?” There’s a pause where Tony doesn’t respond. “Stark.”

“Yeah?”

“Can you get us home?” He repeats.

“Yeah, I heard you. I’m thinking I’m not so sure we should.” 

“Tony.” You snap.

“It has nothing to do with you.” He says.

Stephen’s hand falls, moving to get closer to Tony. “Under no circumstances can we bring the Time Stone to Thanos. I don’t think you quite understand what’s at stake here.”

“What? No. It’s you who doesn’t understand,” Tony moves to stop less than a foot away from Stephen. “That Thanos has been inside my head for six years. Since he sent an army to New York and now he’s back. And I don’t know what to do. So I’m not so sure if it’s a better plan to fight him on our turf or his, but you saw what they did, what they can do. At least on his turf he’s not expecting it. So I say we take the fight to him. Doctor

“Do you concur?” Tony finishes. 

“All right, Stark. We go to him.” Stephen says. You throw your hands up, shaking your head. “But you have to understand if it comes to saving you or the kid or the Time Stone. I will not hesitate to let either of you die.” He pauses. “I can’t, because the universe depends on it.”

“Nice.” Tony pats Stephen’s arm. “Good, moral compass. We’re straight.” He turns to walk away, in Peter’s direction. He lets out a sigh. “All right, kid.” He knights Peter. “You’re an Avenger now.”

A smile slowly spreads over Peter’s face, he nods.

You lace your fingers together in front of you, walking closer to the warp to see the stars better. You’re not entirely sure if you’ll have the element of surprise on Thanos’s home planet, or if it’ll even matter. Either way, the team you have gathered on this spaceship is far from the one you’re used to.

You can’t believe that Tony pulled that argument on you again, especially in front of Stephen. He’s already suspicious that you’re not the only entity in your body, because the reactions you have at the mention of death are unnatural. You seem uncomfortable, but the involuntary shivers say otherwise—but they’re exactly that, involuntary.

The last thing you want is to confirm that you’re unstable, because you’re not.

“(Y/n).” Stephen murmurs, coming up beside you. You close your eyes, tilting your head back, taking in a breath. He wraps his arm around your body, hand pulling you into him. “You know I don’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t.” You tell him, opening your eyes. “I’m tired of having that conversation with Tony. And I do think it would be a better fight on Earth, where the rest of the Avengers are. Our crew doesn’t mean much.” 

“Well, I would say we could hijack the system, but we don’t know how to steer it, or get back to our planet.” Stephen says, looking down at you.

You meet his eyes, before resting your head on his shoulder. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He presses a kiss against your temple. 

—

“Hey, what’s going on?” Peter asks, coming up behind you three.

“I think we’re here.” Stephen says.

You watch through the warp as the alien planet gets closer. From what you can tell, it’s a desolate place, not a single living being seems to be inhabiting it. Your eyebrows draw in, thinking that this could make the fight against Thanos easier, if he’s got no other people to help him.

That’s assuming he’ll come alone.

“I don’t think this rig has a self-park function.” Tony says, walking away from the warp. He stops in front of one of the mechanical arms, pulling it open to stick his hand inside. “Get your hand inside the steering gimbal.” He pulls the clasp down. “Close those around it.”

Peter follows Tony’s directions. “Okay.”

“You understand?” Tony asks, glancing over.

“Yes, got it.” 

“This was meant for one big guy, so we gotta move at the same time.”

“Okay, okay.” Peter says, readjusting his stance. “Ready.”

You watch as the planet gets closer, the spaceship beginning to rumble. You share an unsure look with Stephen, before moving to find a pillar to hang on to. 

“We might wanna turn.” Peter says, and then his eyes widen. “Turn! Turn! Turn!” 

Tony has to change into his suit to be able to properly steer. From the force of them turning, you’re thrown a step off to the side. The brand new suit begins to cover your body, possibly reacting to your heart rate when you realize this thing could explode on impact if they’re not careful.

The ship comes into contact with one of the structures on the planet, jerking you from side to side. The rest of the suit covers your body, allowing you to lock your hand in place. You watch as Peter goes from his street clothes to the Spider-Man outfit.

Stephen quickly casts a shield to encase the four of you, the spaceship breaking into pieces. A second later, it slams into the planet, throwing you forward. You shouldn’t have moved more than a foot because of your grip, but your fingers unlock. You slam into the metal flooring, landing on your knees next to Stephen.

He glances down at you. The ship proceeds to slide until it hits a dip, forcing it to stop. As soon as you’re no longer in motion, Stephen drops the cast, turning to help you to your feet. The mask falls away from your face as you shake your head.

“You all right?” Stephen touches your face, moving your hair back.

“Fine.” You breathe.

Tony pushes to his feet. “That was close.” Electricity from severed wires crackles above you. “I owe you one.”

Peter hangs upside down from the ceiling using his web. “Let me just say, if aliens wind up implanting eggs in my chest or something and I eat one of you, I’m sorry.”

Your face twists, “Peter—”

“I do not want another single pop culture reference out of you for the rest of the trip.” Tony says, pointing at him. “You understand?”

Peter holds his hand out. “I’m trying to say that something is coming.”

A small, metallic ball rolls into the middle of your group, and before any of you can react, it explodes. You’re thrown several feet into the air, slamming into the wall, and landing harshly on an uneven surface. You take quick breaths to keep from triggering the pain that’s taking over your ribs.

You close your eyes, feeling the nanotech spread from beneath your chin and over your face to conceal your identity from the intruders. When you prod your fingers into sensitive skin, you let out a hiss. You really hope nothing is broken.

“Thanos!” You can hear a man yell.

The sound of Stephen’s magic makes you turn your head to see where he is. He’s got a shield up, two knives sticking out of it. The man who’s just thrown the knives begins to yell, but he’s silenced when the Cloak wraps around his head.

Another man rockets into the air, Tony jumping to fight him. You push yourself into a sitting position, wincing at the smallest movements. You use the wall as support, watching Tony and the enemy send beams back and forth, until Tony launches a rocket that explodes at the perfect time, sending him back.

Tony grabs a hold of the man, throwing back onto the ground. He lets out a laugh though, pressing a button. Blue lightning appears out of a triangular disc, which magnetizes Tony to the steering gimbal that Peter had used.

Peter lets out a scream, backing away from a woman with antennas that glow at the sight of him. As he scoots back, he shoots his web at her, trapping her where she is. The man that Tony had been fighting comes over, kicking Peter across the room.

“Stay down, clown.” He says, trying to shoot Peter.

Peter’s fast, the spider legs shoot out from his back, carrying him into the scaffolding above. Every time the man fires, he misses, but when Peter comes down to attack him, the man throws a gadget that opens like a net, securing around Peter, electrocuting him. 

“Die, blanket of death!” The first man shouts, trying to pull the Cloak from his face.

Tony finally pushes himself off of the steering gimbal, immediately flying over the man fighting with the Cloak. He hovers his hand over his head, powering it up. The Cloak of Levitation then disappears, going back to Stephen.

You take a step down from where you’re standing, making your way toward Stephen. The man that’d taken down Peter, pulls him into his arms, holding a futuristic gun against his head. “Everybody stay where you are. Chill the eff out.” 

He reaches to touch a button on the metal mask he’s wearing, making it disappear. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he’s human. He’s got the complexion, nothing out of the ordinary. Unlike Tony, who’s got the man with grey skin and red accents.

“I’m gonna ask you this one time.” He points the gun out in Tony’s direction. “Where is Gamora?”

Tony holds his other hand out to the man in retaliation. “Yeah. I’ll do you one better. Who’s Gamora?” The helmet falls away from his face.

“I’ll do you one better.” The grey man on the floor says. “Why is Gamora?”

You stop next to Stephen, hand wrapped around your ribs. He notices this immediately, eyebrows drawing in.

“Tell me where the girl is or I swear to you I’m gonna french fry this little freak.” He presses the gun to Peter’s head. 

Peter’s eyes narrow, and then return back to normal. Tony doesn’t like this. “Let’s do it. You shoot my guy and I’ll blast him. Let’s go!” His hand turns into a large blaster, mere inches away from the grey man’s face.

“Do it, Quill! I can take it.” He says, staring into the barrel.

“No, he can’t take it!” The alien girl says.

“She’s right. You can’t.” Stephen says.

“Oh, yeah? You don’t wanna tell me where she is? That’s fine. I’ll kill all three of you and I’ll beat it out of Thanos myself.” Quill says, pressing the gun further against Peter’s head. “Starting with you.”

Your face twists, Stephen squints. “Wait, what, Thanos? All right, let me ask you this one time. What master do you serve?”

“What master do I serve?” Quill repeats. “What am I supposed to say, ‘Jesus’?”

Tony deadpans, looking over at you and Stephen. He then looks at Quill again. “You’re from Earth.”

“I’m not from Earth, I’m from Missouri.” Quill says.

“Yeah, that’s on Earth, dipshit.” Tony shoots back. “What are you hassling us for?”

“So you’re not with Thanos?” Peter asks.

“With Thanos?” Quill’s face is twisted. “No, I’m here to kill Thanos. He took my girl. Wait, who are you?” He pulls the gun away from Peter’s head.

Peter’s mask falls away. “We’re the Avengers, man.”

“Oh.” Quill takes his arm off of Peter.

You allow the mask to fall from your face, too. 

“You’re the ones Thor told us about.” The girl says.

Tony looks over. “You know Thor?”

“Yeah.” Quill says. “Tall guy, not that good-looking, needed saving.”

“Where is he now?” Stephen asks.

“He’s going to Nidavellir to get some weapon.” Quill says.

Tony removes his hand from the grey man’s face, allowing him to get up. “What kind of weapon?”

“He said it would be able to kill Thanos.” Quill shrugs, “That’s all.”

“Maybe another hammer.” You suggest, the suit begins to fade away, taking the original with it too. It leaves you in the clothes you’d been in before Bruce fell through the ceiling. “I’m (Y/n).”

“Star Lord, but my real name is Peter Quill.” Quill says.

“Oh, hey. I’m Peter too.” Peter backs away, “But I’m Peter Parker.”

“Enough, kid.” Tony points at him. “Tony Stark.”

“Doctor Strange.” Stephen says from beside you.

The alien girl wrapped in web hops forward. “I am Mantis.”

“That’s Drax.” Quill says, motioning to the grey man.

Tony nods, starting for the door, “We should step out, get a feel for the planet.”

“There’s not much out there.” Quill says, but he doesn’t argue.

Peter walks over to Mantis to free her from the webbing. Stephen goes to follow, but you place a hand on his chest to stop him, he looks down at you. You give him a pained smile, waiting for the others to leave the ship first.

“Are you coming?” Peter asks, stopping at the exit, looking back at you and Stephen.

“We’ll be out there in a minute.” You tell him.

He nods, going to join the group. Your hand falls from Stephen’s chest, going to take a deep breath, and wincing when a sharp pain stabs through your ribs. He doesn’t miss this, grabbing your elbow to keep it up.

“What happened?”

“It’s my ribs.” You tell him.

His fingers reach for the hem of your shirt, he meets your eyes. “Can I?”

“Yeah.”

“Put your hand on my shoulder.” He tells you. You follow his direction, looking down to watch what he does.

He pulls your shirt all the way up to your chest, where you bunch it up to make it easier to see. He tilts his head, face smoothing briefly, before his eyebrows draw in. Stephen’s fingers brush against the skin over your right side.

You press your lips together, letting out a noise. 

“When did this happen?” He asks, applying more pressure.

You suck in a shaky breath. “When the alien had sideswiped me, I hit the car that was parked on the side of the street.” You tell him. “And when Quill threw that bomb—”

“You landed on the same side.” Stephen says. He pulls away, you let go of your shirt. It falls back into place, wrinkled. “I think they’re just bruised, but you’ve got to take it easy.”

“I figured as much.” You tell him, turning to start at the door.

He walks by your side. “I thought you said you could take care of yourself.”

“I can.” You say, “I know when to ask for help.”

“That’s not what I had in mind.” 

“Well, that’s a shame.” You glance at him, going down the ramp.

He doesn’t look very amused. “(Y/n), if you think you’re unable to fight Thanos—”

“I’ll let you know.” You say, stepping onto the dirt.

A shock goes through your body, as you freeze where you stand. 

Death. The word echoes in your mind loudly. You can’t help the way your body reacts, goosebumps covering every inch of your body, until you’re shivering as if you’re freezing.

“(Y/n)?” Stephen grabs your shoulder.

“I’m fine.” You chatter out, hugging yourself. “We’re just walking on a graveyard, is all.”

You force your legs to work, moving forward. The coldness leaves your body the further you travel, warmth returning. No matter where you step, the dark feeling clings on.

“The hell happened to this planet?” You hear Quill ask, he’s holding up a glowing yellow pod. “It’s eight degrees off its axis. Gravitational pull is all over the place.”

“Must’ve been a massacre.” You say, Tony turns to see you and Stephen joining. “I can feel it.”

He makes a face. “Feeling dark?”

“It’s hard not to.” You come to a stop, crossing your arms.

“We’ve got one advantage. He’s coming to us.” He says, moving around. “We’ll use it. All right, I have a plan. Or at least the beginnings of one.” You gather in with Quill. “It’s pretty simple. We draw him in, pin him down, get what we need. Definitely don’t wanna dance with this guy. We just want the gauntlet.”

Drax yawns loudly.

“Are you yawning?”

You glance away, eyes landing on Stephen, floating in the air in a sitting position. He must be using the Time Stone, because there’s a ring of green around his forearms.

“In the middle of this, while I’m breaking it down? Huh?” Tony says, Drax and Mantis look over. “Did you hear what I said?”

Drax briefly looks at Mantis before he looks back at Tony. “I stopped listening after you said, ‘We need a plan’.”

“Okay, Mr. Clean is on his own page.”

“See, ‘not winging it’ isn’t really what they do.” Quill says back.

Peter raises his hand. “Uh, what exactly is it that they do?” 

“Kick names, take ass.” Mantis says proudly.

Drax nods. “Yeah, that’s right.”

Your face twists, you let out a loud sigh. “There goes my hope that we had a working team.”

Tony stares at them blankly. “All right, just get over here, please.” When they don’t move, he addresses Quill. “Mr. Lord, can you get your folks to circle up?”

Quill nods. “‘Mr. Lord’,” he lets out a laugh. “Star-Lord is fine.” He cocks his head to the side, Drax and Mantis come closer.

“We gotta coalesce. Cause if all we come at him with is a plucky attitude—”

“Dude, don’t call us plucky. We don’t know what that means. All right, we’re optimistic, yes. I like your plan.” Quill says, Tony and you make eye contact. “Except it sucks, so let me do the plan and that way it might be really good.”

Tony closes his eyes.

“Tell him about the dance-off to save the universe.” Drax says.

“What dance-off?” Tony asks.

Quill makes a face, stuttering, “It’s not a—it’s nothing.”

“Like in Footloose, the movie?” Peter asks.

“Exactly like Footloose.” Quill leans forward. “Is it still the greatest movie in history?”

“It never was.” Peter says.

Quill squints at him, smile dropping.

“Don’t encourage this, all right?” Tony says, placing a hand on Peter’s shoulder. “We’re getting no help from Flash Gordon here.”

“Flash Gordon?” Quill takes a step after him. “By the way, that’s a compliment. Don’t forget, I’m half human.”

Your attention has diverted back to Stephen, who’s snapping his neck from side to side, still floating. “Honey?”

“So that fifty-perfect of me that’s stupid,” He pauses, “That’s one hundred percent you.”

“Your math is blowing my mind.” Tony says back.

You step up to Stephen, “Hey, Tony!”

You glance over your shoulder to see Tony coming in your direction, seeing the problem. “Strange, we all right?”

You want to touch him, but you’re afraid of what’ll happen if you do. His head is still moving from side to side, eyes closed, as if he’s seeking something. “Stephen.” The Time Stone is glowing, a green haze is encircling his upper torso.

His head begins to move faster, letting out a grunt. A shout then leaves him, gasping as he falls to the rock below, eyes open and looking around. You crouch in front of Stephen, hands on his knees. He grabs one of them immediately, squeezing.

“You’re back.” You murmur. 

“Hi.” he breathes.

“Hey, what was that?” Peter asks.

“I went forward in time to view alternate futures.” He says, looking between you and Tony, who stands behind you now. He’s breathing heavily as he talks. The Time Stone glows brightly against his chest. “To see all the possible outcomes of the coming conflict.”

“How many did you see?” Quill asks.

“Fourteen million, six hundred and five.”

“How many did we win?” Tony asks.

Stephen presses his lips together for a second. “One.”

You push to get to your feet, “How soon will he be here?”

He shakes his head, “Thirty minutes.”

You look at Tony, “We need to flesh that plan out.”

Tony nods, “Will my initial one work?”

Stephen takes in a breath. “Yes, actually.”

—

A storm cloud of grey and blue appears in the rubble, a boot being the first thing to come out of it. You adjust your footing, keeping your eyes on the giant, purple man that comes through it. The cloud is gone, and the air returns to normal. 

Your eyes find the gauntlet, which takes up the entirety of Thanos’s forearm, stopping at the elbow. When he turns his wrist the right way, you can see the stones he has, glint in the setting sun. He stops to look at the spaceship you’d come out of.

“Oh, yeah.” Stephen says, he’s sitting at the top of the steps on a rock. He’d volunteered to be the distraction, so the rest of you could prepare to fight. Thanos looks over at him, not worried. “You’re much more of a Thanos.”

Thanos looks away. “I take it the Maw is dead.” Stephen leans forward on his knees, nodding. “This day extracts a heavy toll.” He begins to walk. “Still, he accomplished his mission.”

“You may regret that.” Stephen tells him. “He brought you face-to-face with the Master of the Mystic Arts.”

“And where do you think he brought you?” 

“Let me guess. Your home?” Stephen asks.

Thanos stops, foot resting on top of a rock, gauntlet on his thigh. The Space, Reality and Power Stones displayed. You can’t tell if he has the Soul Stone or not.

“It was.” Thanos says. He lifts the gauntlet, and the Reality Stone begins to glow brightly when he closes his fist. “It was beautiful.”

The world around you begins to change, as he manipulates the area around you to make it look like it had before. A bright blue sky, green grass, a fountain in the middle of the plaza. There are people just like him, conversing around the park. And the giant building that’s falling apart, stands sturdy and clean.

“Titan was like most planets. Too many mouths, not enough to go around. And when we faced extinction, I offered a solution.” 

“Genocide.” Stephen says.

You duck behind the spacecraft, slapping a hand over your mouth, eyes squeezed shut as your body shakes. 

“But random, dispassionate, fair to rich and poor alike.” Thanos continues. “They called me a madman.” You sigh, not bothering to move from where you are. “And what I predicted came to pass.”

The scene fades away, bringing you back to reality. No wonder you can’t stay in control, here. You are literally on top of a graveyard, with so many undead beneath you that haven't risen since the day they died. They must be eager to get out, breathe the air above again.

What they don’t know is that it won’t taste the same as it did before.

“Congratulations, you’re a prophet.” Stephen says.

The good news is that if the dead haven’t been brought back before, there’ll be more power to it. They’re going to be decayed, sure. But they’re going to be stronger than the ones in New York, because these are new toys to play with. Besides, you can’t wait to see the look on Thanos’s face when he realizes that his own people are fighting against him.

“I’m a survivor.” Thanos says.

“Who wants to murder trillions.”

“With all six stones, I could simply snap my fingers.” He says, the noise filling the air. “They would all cease to exist. I call that mercy.”

You lift your head to see Stephen, finding him on his feet. “And then what?” He takes a step down.

Thanos looks away. “I’d finally rest and watch the sun rise on a grateful universe. The hardest choices require the strongest wills.”

Your lip twitches.

“I think you’ll find our will equal to yours.” Stephen says, clapping his hands together, and pulling them apart to show his magic.

“Our?” Thanos asks, lifting his head, tilting it all the way back.

Tony’s coming down with a piece of the spaceship, aimed directly over Thanos. As the purple stone begins to glow, he’s crushed by the mass, sending out a cloud of dirt and dust on impact. 

The mask crawls up your face, blocking it just in time to swarm you. 

“Piece of cake, Quill.” Tony says, doing a lap through a structure.

Quill begins to run, pressing the button on his mask again, which covers his face. “Yeah, if your goal was to piss him off.” He jumps, flying to where Thanos is.

An explosion of purple sets off, chunks of metal flying out, revealing Thanos underneath. He lets out a war cry, the Reality Stone glowing as he swings his gauntlet arm, creating a mass of alien birds that swarm Tony, carrying him away.

Peter takes the opportunity to shoot his web, covering Thanos’s eyes, flying by to kick him in the face. Drax slices across the back of his knee. Stephen comes through a portal, Drax swings at Thanos, only to be blocked. Stephen pulls out his own weapon, a sword made from the orange magic.

They take turns, going back and forth swinging at Thanos. He’ll dodge, switch sides, taking another hit from the back. He then punches Drax’s chest, throwing him into a rock that crumbles.

Stephen swings, Thanos catches the sword. Quill jumps through the air, using the rocks as stepping stones. Thanos finally pulls the webbing from his face, Stephen makes the sword disappear, opting for a shield, which Thanos kicks in to. 

Quill shoots at Thanos’s back, Stephen casts a spell to create more platforms for Quill to use, hopping from one to the next. He flips over Thanos, planting a bomb on his back, which beeps loudly. He backs away, middle finger raised. “Boom!” And then he falls through a portal.

The bomb explodes, Thanos stumbles forward, landing on his hands. Just as he’s straightening, the Cloak wraps itself around his hand tightly. Stephen casts another portal, one which Peter jumps out. 

He slams his fist across Thanos’s face. “Magic.” Disappears through the portal on the other side, which spits him out a foot above. Peter swings down on Thanos’s head. “More magic.” And pops out on the other side, Thanos turns at the wrong moment, “Magic with a kick.” He says, foot right across his face. The next portal opens up, “Magic with a—!”

Thanos grabs Peter by the throat, slamming him down into the dirt, choking him. “Insect!” He shouts, before lifting the teenager and throwing him into Stephen.

The two of them disappear in the rubble, you rise from where you’re hiding, beginning to creep around to find a better place to be when you raise this army. Thanos rips off the Cloak, which flies away to get back to Stephen.

Another explosion is set off, a wave of heat hits you like a truck, warming you up on the inside and out. This is Tony’s doing, as he repeatedly sends his rockets down where Thanos is standing. 

It doesn’t work. Thanos sucks the fire up through the Power Stone, shooting it back at Tony, which blasts him into one of the structures up in the air. He hits the floating middle piece, causing a different explosion. 

“(Y/n), now's a good time!” Tony shouts through static.

You come out into the open, Thanos’s attention turning to you. You fall to your knees in front of him, intertwining your fingers, staring directly at him. “Ready to see your people?” You laugh coldly, raising your locked hands up in the air, before slamming them into the dirt. “Rise!”

The ground begins to tremble, a shiver runs through your body, feeling the cold, dark energy building in your body. The dirt breaks apart, purple hands sprouting out in claw positions. You watch in amazement as the bodies pull themselves out of the planet, in almost perfect condition.

You push to get on your feet, watching as Thanos takes several steps back, as his own people come to stand around you. All of them stand around the same height, taking away his advantage. 

“You…” He trails off, voice accusatory.

With a finger pointed out in his direction, you tilt your head to the side. “Pin the survivor down.”

The undead move at him, coming in every direction. They’re strong, energy coursing through your body. You retreat the best you can while keeping your eyes on him. The confliction in his face is everything you were hoping for, as he looks between the people that he once knew.

When he realizes that they’re not going to stop for him, he lets out a scream, swinging at them. They take the hits, springing back to life mere seconds later. You watch from the top of the stairs in amazement. You’ve never had an army act like this before, with such violence.

Maybe it’s their will to come back. Or maybe, some of their spirits are still here, unable to move on. His face brings bad memories, from when they were starving and beginning to fall from the inside out. Maybe they know about his slaughtering activities on other planets, carrying out his ideas on poor, unsuspecting people that can’t defend themselves against his power.

Maybe this is their way of getting revenge for you.

You let out a laugh.

Thanos throws his hand out, a sharp and warm pain explodes across your left shoulder, twisting you to the ground. You land on your hands and knees, coming face to face with the chunk of flesh that Thanos has just taken from your body. The blood spurts out of the wound.

Your breaths pick up at the sight of the amount of blood leaving your body, stars coming to the corners of your vision. You let out a scream through gritted teeth as the feeling hits you full-force, tears appearing in your eyes.

“(Y/n)!” Stephen shouts.

When you look over your shoulder, you see that Peter has webbed Thanos’s hand with the gauntlet, pulling it away from him. Thanos still fights with his open hand, knocking away the dead effortlessly. He pulls Peter toward him when there’s an opening, punching him across the face, and ripping the webbing from the gauntlet.

Suddenly, a spaceship comes out of the brown haze, belonging to none of you. It hits the planet, as well as Thanos, and the entire army of the dead. You struggle to your feet, stumbling down the steps. 

Stephen is floating through the air, toward Thanos, when he sees that you’re alive. You follow after him the best you can, a burning sensation spreading over your missing shoulder when you see the nanotech forms over it. At least then, it’ll be covered.

A girl springs out of the rock to fight Thanos, one that you don’t recognize. Stephen uses his magic to lasso Thanos’s gauntlet, trying to pull it off of him. Drax comes up behind him, kicking the back of his knee to force him down. Quill shoots a triangular disc—the same one he’d used against Tony—underneath Thanos’s free hand to keep him from pulling at the gauntlet. 

Peter uses his web, swinging around to pull Thanos with Quill. While Tony comes around, grabbing at the gauntlet. Thanos is strong, though, pulling at Peter’s web. The spider legs come out, digging into the rock to keep him from moving. Stephen retracts his spell, casting a new one for a portal, where Mantis falls onto Thanos’s shoulders.

She places her hands on both sides of his head, leaning over him. Stephen works with Quill and Peter to pull on the other hand. Thanos is screaming, eyes a milky white as he turns his head to the side.

You come to a stop a few feet away, the sound of dragging footsteps behind you. It’s a few of the dead that hadn’t died with the ship. “Get the gauntlet off of him.” You demand.

They move to help Tony, fingers digging underneath it to get better leverage. Thanos stops resisting so hard, as Mantis’s antennas begin to glow white.

“Is he under? Don’t let up.” Tony says, pulling.

“Be quick. He is very strong.” She says.

“Parker, help! Get over here.” Tony orders. “She can’t hold him much longer. Let’s go.”

They all pull at the gauntlet, seemingly making no progress. Quill flies over, landing a few feet away, tucking his gun back onto the hollister. 

“We gotta open his fingers to get it off.” Peter says.

You move closer, “Do as he says.” The dead begin to work on his fingers, struggling against his strength.

“I thought you’d be hard to catch.” Quill taunts. “For the record, this was my plan.” Thanos doesn’t respond, mouth hanging open. “You’re not so strong now, huh?” He stops in front of him. “Where is Gamora?”

Thanos groans, “My Gamora.”

“No, bullshit!” Quill says, “Where is she?”

“He is in anguish.” Mantis says, Thanos’s face twists.

“Good.”

“He… he mourns.” Mantis pants, eyebrows drawn in, tears in her eyes.

You look over to see the same girl as earlier has now joined you. She doesn’t seem to be human, though. She’s robotic, and blue. 

“What does this monster have to mourn?” Drax manages to get out.

“Gamora.” The girl says.

Quill turns to look at her. “What?”

“He took her to Vormir.” She says. “He came back with the Soul Stone. But she didn’t.”

The helmet disappears from Tony’s head. “Okay, Quill, you gotta cool it right now. You understand?” Quill is turning to look at Thanos. “Don’t, don’t—don’t engage. We almost got this off!” He shouts.

“Tell me she’s lying.” Quill begins to shout. “Asshole, tell me you didn’t do it!”

“I had to.” Thanos hisses out.

“No, you didn’t.” Quill shakes his head, Thanos groans. “No, you didn’t.” 

Quill draws back, gun in hand. You reach with your good arm to catch him before he ruins this, but it’s too late. He hits Thanos with the side of the gun, Mantis loses her grip on him. She tries to regain her grip, but he hits Thanos again.

“No, you didn’t!”

“Quill!” Tony shouts, abandoning the gauntlet to grab Quill. “Hey, stop! Hey, stop! Stop!”

Peter pulls, it begins to slip. You jump over, grabbing the bottom. The suit explodes over your body, heels digging into the ground. “Pull!” You shout.

“Hey, stop! Stop!” 

“It’s coming, it’s coming.” Peter adjusts to get a better grip on it. “We got it, we got it!”

Thanos comes back at this moment, headbutting Mantis. The gauntlet is just slipping off his last finger, when he throws you, Peter and the few undead you have left. You land harshly, rolling once or twice before forcing yourself to get back on your feet. He then reaches up, grabbing Mantis by her foot, and flinging her off.

“Oh, god.” Peter says, jumping in the air to grab her. The spider legs come out, creating a case for them to roll in without touching the ground. 

Thanos kicks Drax off his leg, straight into Quill and the blue robot. He grabs the lasso that Stephen has been holding onto him, whipping it forward and letting go. You watch your boyfriend come closer to you, and continue to fly over your head.

Tony tries to blast Thanos, but he’s pissed now. All he does is swing his arm, batting Tony away. Drax, Quill and the robot get to their feet to run at him, then Thanos uses the Power Stone to stop them where they are, forcing them back on the cement.

Tony comes back, swinging at him with a nanotech blade. Thanos grabs his arm, headbutting him too. Thanos hits the staircase on the other side, doing backwards somersaults until he lands on his knees.

Thanos reaches up in the direction of a nearby planet that you can see. His gauntlet glowing purple as he presumably breaks off parts of the surface. With a closed fist, he throws it down, bringing the pieces to you. You duck against a rock, covering your head as brown fiery smoke leaves a path.

Tony tries to fly away, but he’s caught by one of the giant pieces of rock, crushing him beneath. The impact fucks up the gravity, as Drax, the robot and Quill take off into the air.

“Peter!” You shout, “Grab them!”

“Got it, Miss (L/n)!” He calls back, slinging to his feet.

The ground quakes each time a chunk lands on the surface. You throw your head back, searching to find Stephen, on a floating rock, not too far from Thanos. He moves his arms, bands of orange appearing, hitting his hands against the ground. The orange electricity jumps from each rock, until it reaches Thanos, exploding the surface.

Thanos jumps off, using the Power stone to send purple lightning back at Stephen. He’s prepared for this, it hits a shield, flying back at Thanos. Who shatters it into pieces with one punch from the gauntlet. He sucks it all up with the Space Stone, creating a vortex, spiraling in Stephen’s direction.

Stephen casts another shield, the vortex becoming a flurry of green butterflies, which is merely a distraction, as the next trick comes. Multiple arms come from him, spreading out, until they move in sync to become one, bursting apart as replicas of him take over the air, surrounding Thanos.

They move together, hundreds of lassos wrapping around Thanos’s arms, which he quickly breaks with the Power Stone. Static electricity takes over the air, until it’s just your boyfriend. 

Thanos reaches forward, beckoning Stephen to him. His gauntlet hand secures around his throat. “You’re full of tricks, wizard.” He reaches to grab the necklace, Stephen struggles to pull away. “Yet you never once used your greatest weapon.” He crushes the necklace in his hand. “A fake.”

He throws Stephen, and he rolls a few feet before stopping. When he doesn’t get up, you begin to move through the rock to get to him.

Tony sends nanotech to the gauntlet, keeping it from closing. He lands, breathing hard. “You throw another moon at me, and I’m gonna lose it.”

“Stark.” Thanos says. 

“You know me?”

“I do. Just like how I know that necromancer is (Y/n).” He says, you stop in your tracks, head snapping in his direction. “You’re not the only one cursed with knowledge.”

“My only curse is you.” Tony says, more explosives coming out of his back.

“Come on!” Thanos growls, letting the gauntlet take the hit. 

You begin to move faster, making it to Stephen. You land on your knees, ignoring the blossoming pain from doing it so many times today. You reach for his face with your only hand, moving his hair back.

“Stephen, babe.” You murmur, wincing when you use your other arm to rest on his chest. The technology in your ear tells you that he’s still breathing. You let out a breath.

You brush some of the debris from his face, forcing him on his back. 

Tony’s feet slam into Thanos, he does a backflip, landing on his feet, arms turning into giant hammers with blasters on the bottom. He hits Thanos into a rock, and when Thanos gets back on his feet, he tears the helmet right from Tony’s head. 

Another one forms in an instant, as he tries to block Thanos’s punch. It doesn’t work, Tony flattens on the rock.

“Stephen.” You whisper, “Come on.”

Thanos breaks the nanotech off of the gauntlet, using the Power stone to hit Tony with a powerful force, which Tony blocks in time with a shield. It comes around, like flames licking at a closed door. It forces Tony back, despite the pressure he’s putting to stay in place.

He throws the shield back when Thanos stops, nanotech transferring from a small space on his back, to his foot, which locks down Thanos’s gauntlet hand. Tony throws a powerful punch, landing it right across his face.

Thanos reaches up, brushing a part on his upper cheek, looking at his fingertips. “All that for a drop of blood.”

“(Y/n).” Stephen mutters. 

You look back down at him, finding his eyes open, on you. You nod, cupping his face with both hands. “I’m here. Are you okay?”

“Your shoulder…” He trails off, reaching to touch it, but he knows better than to make contact.

“I know.”

Thanos gets out of the trap, throwing Tony onto the ground, and laying in with the punches, slowly destroying the nanotech with each one landed. He picks him up, throwing him away.

Tony focuses the tech to his hands, taking away from a part on his thigh and hip, but Thanos blocks the rays with the purple glowing gauntlet. He swings at Tony’s face, taking the rest of the helmet off. Tony tries to throw a punch, it’s grabbed. With his only free arm, the nanotech forms a blade, Tony tries to stab, but Thanos breaks it off.

You watch in horror as he stabs it through the missing armor in Tony’s abdomen.

“No!” You let out, Stephen moves to sit up, you don’t stop him.

You clasp your hands together, raising them above your head, going to hit the ground, when a hand grabs them before they do. You make eye contact with Stephen, who shakes his head at you.

“It won’t help.”

“We should kill him.” You tell him. “We need to kill him.”

Tony lets out a grunt, Thanos walks him back until he sits on a rock. 

Stephen’s grip tightens. “This is how we win. This is the plan.”

“You have my respect, Stark.” Thanos says. “When I’m done, half of humanity will still be alive.”

You grit your teeth, “This isn’t right.”

“I hope they remember you.” Thanos holds his hand out, each stone glowing on his knuckles.

Stephen lets go of you, eyes on Thanos, “Stop.” He pants. “Spare his life and I will give you the stone.”

“Stephen.” You snap, “No!”

“No tricks.” Thanos says.

Stephen shakes his head, Thanos points the gauntlet at you two, instead.

“Don’t.” Tony groans, blood dripping out the corner of his mouth. 

Stephen slowly lifts his hand, a green haze showing before the Time Stone appears out of thin air, between his forefinger and thumb. Thanos hold out his other hand, palm up.

“Don’t do this.” You tell him, pressure behind your eyes. “Don’t, Stephen, I don’t want those people to die.”

He looks at you for a long second, before releasing the stone. It floats through the air, straight to Thanos. He lowers the gauntlet, taking the green gem in his hand. Your head falls, you let out a sob between gritted teeth.

When you look, Thanos is dropping the Time Stone into the slot on the knuckle of his thumb. “One to go.”

A beam hits the gauntlet, as Quill comes out of the rock and rubble, flying straight at Thanos, repeatedly firing. The same storm cloud that brought Thanos here has now materialized to take him back. He takes one step backwards, and it swallows him whole.

Quill flies right through where he should have made contact with Thanos. He gets to his feet, waving his gun. “Where is he?”

Tony uses the nanotech to heal where he’d been stabbed, letting out a sigh.

“Did we just lose?” Quill asks.

You let out a sob, hand covering your mouth. Stephen reaches to touch you, but you jerk away, “Don’t, don’t do that.”

“(Y/n)---”

You stumble down the rock, putting a few feet between you two.

Tony looks over at him. “Why would you do that?” 

“We’re in the endgame now.” He says.

You lace your fingers, resting your hands on the top of your head, ignoring the pain that stabs through your shoulder and ribs. You take several deep breaths in through your nose, letting it out through your mouth. Your throat is tightening, making it harder to breathe.

“Miss (L/n), I’ve got them!” Peter shouts, you glance over to see Mantis, Drax and the robot coming your way. “Oh no, Mr. Stark?” 

“(Y/n), come here, please.” Stephen says, “I don’t want you to regret this moment.” Your bottom lip juts out as you turn around to face him, finding him on his feet. He’s got a hand out in your direction. “I’m sorry, honey.”

The suit falls away from your body at the same time Tony dismisses his. You shake your head at him, refusing to go toward him. “All those people…” You lower your arms to wipe the tears. “I can’t.”

“We haven’t lost yet.” He tells you.

Peter pulls Tony to his feet. Mantis stops walking with Quill, looking up. “Something’s happening.”

Mantis’s feet begin to disintegrate, eating up the rest of her legs, turning into flakes of dust that get blown away in the wind. Your face drops. At once, the rest of her is gone.

Drax’s left half of his body begins to follow suit, he looks up, “Quill?”

He’s gone too, Tony starts forward, “Steady, Quill.”

It works faster this time, “Oh, man.”

You turn with an open mouth to look at Stephen, “No, no, no!”

His legs are turning into dust, you rush through the rocks to get to him in time. Maybe if you touch him, he’ll stay. Maybe your abilities will work in reverse.

“There was no other way, my love.” He whispers, breathing shallow.

“No!” You scream, arms swiping through the dust where he had been a second ago. “Stephen, no!”

“Mr. Stark?” Peter’s voice is trembling.

“God damn it!” You cry, face pressing into the rock. “Bring him back!”

“I don’t feel so good.” Peter says.

“You’re all right.” Tony says.

“I don’t—I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t know…” He falls into Tony’s arms. “I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go, sir. Please. Please, I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go.” Tony carefully lowers him to the ground. “I’m sorry.”

You bury your face in your hands, silently sobbing as you struggle to breathe. “Stephen…” You whisper. “Come back to me.”

It dawns on you.

You scoot away from the rock, sitting up on your knees. You blink through blurry eyes, fingers laced, hands above your head. “Please, work.” You whisper, and then slam your hands into concrete, pressing hard. “Stephen, rise!” 

The ground is still, not reacting to your words.

“I said,” You raise your hands, bringing them down again. “Rise! Bring me Stephen Strange!”

Finally, the rock begins to shake violently, you sit impatiently, waiting for him to sprout out of the ground where he’d turned to dust over. Instead, the planet settles, and you’re left with nothing.

“He did it.” The robot says.

Your labored breaths quickly turn into deep breaths that begin to even out, the more you think about her. You push to your feet, attentioning turning to her. This wouldn’t have happened if she didn’t come here. 

“You.” You snarl out, Tony looks up at you. “This is your fault.”

She looks at you, eyes widening slightly, “Me?”

“Did you really have to be that honest?” You snap, going down the dirt. “You had to tell Quill that she was dead?”

Her face twists. “He was going to beat it out of Thanos whether or not I—”

“You don’t know that!” You shout, “Now they’re dead, and it’s your fault!” You stop a foot away from her. “This wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t here. We had him pinned down, we were right there! Peter had just gotten the gauntlet off of his arm!”

“(Y/n), this was always going to happen.” Tony interjects, “Stephen said it himself, this was the only way.”

“I don’t believe that.” You look down at him. “Stephen would never leave me on purpose. He’d never do that.”

“He would if it meant you’d be safe.”

--

this was part of my 3k celebration!! i am no longer accepting requests.

once again, i'm sorry it's long. i got carried away hehe. and i was determined to write the entire movie so i did.

[mobblespsycho100]

👍psychoanalyze ur kabru playlist now boy

yes I shall #1 boykisser... 🫡

ask game thing

anyway formatting the last post was kinda hell for me. which is why I'll do the same exact formatting for this one...

(rambling all over the place is commencing)

1. Valley of The Dolls by MARINA

baby. where do i freaking begin.

"In the valley of the dolls, we sleep" -> his adoptive mother, Milsiril, is a big fan of collecting dolls. Like, plushies of everything. She animates them to fight, but they're also there to soothe her. She also adopts a lot of children from short-lived races who don't have a family and she got allegations that she treats them all like her dolls lmao... I mean she kind of does in the sense that they're all precious to her. She does respect their autonomy but uhhh still living with such a doting and overbearing/overprotective mother makes u wanna break outta the dollhouse the cage . be free . hashtag transgenderism also gosh im getting off topic . anyway i bet Kabru slept with a lotta those dolls. in his comfy bed . that he left behind because hes not abt that life mama he wanna see the world and save it and get killed in dungeons. boy.

"Got a hole inside of me / Living with identities / That do not belong to me" -> Grouping these lyrics together because it makes sense for my twisted narrative i mean my very real and based takes. Anyway, he's got a hole inside of him the void in his heart (in his mind) and thats why. his autism and ptsd masking swag. thats as eloquent as i can put it. theres a lot more i can say though

"In my life, I got this far" -> He survived the tragedy of Utaya his hometown . the bloodbath because of the dungeon. It has to be for a purpose ™ . It's because he has to save the world from suffering the same fate and it's his burden to bear it's his purpose it was why he survived (the survivor's guilt... goodness man. trauma processing of all time. :[ )

"Now I'm ready for the last hoorah" -> boy . letting these panels speak for itself. putting it under the cut because spoilers for the peeps seeing this maintagged and they're not caught up with manga .

yeah boy hes falling. fallen. uhm. in the pit. Ready for the last hoorah in this case like. yeah 🤣 just leaving it up to laios (Liar . kabru and mithrun dungeon adventure speedrun)

"Dying like a shooting star" -> guy keeps dying. not even like a shooting star really. well. ig hes going out in style somewhat id getting crushed by Falin's chimera dragon claw counts as shooting star style

2. Lip Sinking by The Hoosiers

We all know Sash does not play about The Hoosiers which is why I have 26 damn The Hoosiers songs on there I should get awarded tbh .

Now Lip Sinking is really good because it's another one of those scammer / masking guy anthems i keep talking about. These lyrics in Verse 5 in particular is really easy to match to Kabru's character moment™ though, so let's break it down.

"I float above my body" -> Common depersonalization experience. For trauma reasons, Kabru probably feels like this a lot sometimes but specifically in this scene...

(apologies for no alt text peeps . but this is the friendship confession scene for those in the know if it hasnt loaded in yet)

anyway, back to the show (psychoanalyzing Kabru) . I think this disconnect with his words VS his thoughts and his heart is so real. Like. seeing urself out of ur body is again a depersonalization thing, and idk if hes feeling depersonalization in this moment specifically but he was really out of it and in a sort of , scrambled and intensely anxious state. His usually calm and cool persona slash facade is Crumbling and man he hates that .

"Must be out of my mind / Cos I watch myself / Getting it wrong everytime" -> He's like. man what the hell am I saying

letting the page speak for itself again because It's like. its there i mean its in tha text what am I supposed to dissect hes dissecting himself already 🤭😭 okay. 'What am I saying' 'I can't find the words' so true man idk what the hell im saying either rn

"I can't tell you how I'm really feeling" -> because he doesn't know his own emotions. He thinks he does, he has been so good at controlling them and like being fake about what he's truly feeling in his heart, adjusting his personality for others' sake. So they trust him, believe in him, listen to him. But for Laios, how does he even say anything? Before this, the words just spilling out, he didn't even know how he felt about Laios. It sounds ridiculous even to himself and that's why he clamps his mouth afterwards but indeed it Is what he was truly feeling all along... (and then Laios thinks he's lying and hes like "NO BITCH!!!? what?!!!?! im being vulnerable and honest rn?!?" )

"Cuz I'm just lip-syncing" -> for so long that's what he's been doing. lip syncing, saying things he doesn't really mean to influence others' perception of him... but this time his mouth moved faster than his mind racing with thoughts. that he's able to convey what he truly wanted all along and finally admit to himself and his own consciousness. like. aaaahgh. man hes so special to meeee....

bonus: the outro's lyrics is rlly good aha. he can finally say what he actually feels... he can be #real.

3. Allies or Enemies by The Crane Wives

This one is . a lot of vibes I think.

"Are we allies or enemies? / This will be the death of me / This will be the death of me" -> He legit says this to Laios . like hes still wondering if they're allies or enemies . Technically he doesn't want them to be enemies. he's cautious but he knows Laios isn't really a bad guy but like, his mind just keeps fixating on Laios and the steps he takes to get the dungeon under control so. hes desperately trying to figure it out because goodness this guy is so. waugh

"All is fair in love and war, but I can't fight with you anymore / This will be the death of me" -> his mental conflict is sooo tasty to me. like . all is fair in love and war !!! any method is justifiable !!! means justifies the ends but also he understands that in the end he can't fully wrap his head around Laios' love of monsters but he knows that Laios will be the one to conquer the dungeon because he also loves his family. He can't fight with him anymore and he can't "kill" him anymore because somehow this man has wormed his way in. well, he never wanted him dead in the first place but I find that he often thinks about killing him to save humanity from his... well. freakishness (complimentary) (concerning sometimes) ;;; but in the end Kabru lets him go and is willing to trust and support Laios till the end ... also once again the repetitiveness of "this will be the death of me" because he's stressed as helll!!!!

"What happens now, do we have another go?" -> I think this is post-Marcille being talked down out of being dungeon lord . Kabru's probably like ok so now what. well. Laios goes its my turn with the dungeon lording 😭😭 (and shit goes down) (but its okay he got it covered)

"Do we bow out and take our seperate roads?" -> Now this is probably when they're (the whole gang) is like "WHERE'S LAIOS DID HE DIE?" no he lives guys its fine. and namari toshiro and kabru run at him in relief. wauh. and also ofc the whole people coming together to eat faligon meat and save Falin ... yippeee... so yeah they don't go seperate roads because Kabru is like yeah imma be Laios' pr manager . #royaladvisor . sticking with him fr fr

"I'll admit I had my doubts / But I want to be let in, not out / But I want to be let in, not out" -> again the repetition ... of him wanting to help. I've mostly been talking abt how this entire song is Kabru's conflicted thoughts @ Laios but this can also be Kabru lending a helping hand to Mithrun at the end of everything. Because he's the one to like help Mithrun realize that there is a purpose to living and like . new desires and ppl who care abt him... but also yeah Kabru "i want to be let in, not out" because he wants to help out Laios with running the new kingdom instead of being in the background again and being ignored ahhaa he wants to be friends for real (and maybe even . lovers. lets go gay people)

ANYWAYYY YEAH THATS THE END WOOOOO idk how to close this out. happy belated birthday kabru and ty juno for sending this in ajshjdhsb :33 ♡

[lover-of-mine]

https://www.tumblr.com/lover-of-mine/745334896398073856/i-know-i-completely-changed-my-original-spec-on-s7 please I want to hear this! I love hearing your metas and spec lol

Alexa, darling, I love that the original spec was also written on an ask from you, thank you for always supporting my ramblings 💜💜💜💜also @steadfastsaturnsrings, Saturn, darling, I do have more thoughts lol

Okay first, this one needs context, so other metas/speculations whose elements got me to think this one makes sense, I don't think you need to read them for this to make sense, but just in case you want to read something more in-depth about it, I do strongly recommend you read them thought, I think it makes this one more impactful: link to the original spec where all I had to go on was the voices in my head, like legit, we didn't even have a date for season 7 yet, this one is just in case you wanna see the original version of this, buddie is mirroring the couples in Buck, actually and the only situation they are missing is the couple that crashed into the tree aka both of them in danger/hurt at the same time, Buck needs to deal with death/figure out how to live as someone who wants to live, buddie is tied by death. 

Okay, so, when I first started thinking about this I was mostly thinking about Buck's relationship with water/breathing and that leading to a breakdown or leading to buddie. Because Buck drowning could trigger him enough for him to have a full-blown breakdown, but a Buck who's already been through the process of realizing he wants to be alive almost dying again might give him an oh moment that would lead him to act on his feelings for Eddie. My hope was also for that to mirror elements of the shooting since I am a firm believer that the shooting was Eddie's oh moment. But I was writing that with no clue about what they would do with the season, so now that we have more information, I need to tweak things a bit. 

Buck has a very intricate relationship with breathing which also gives him an intricate relationship with water. The first call we see on the pilot is the 118 responding to a kid who drowned, who Buck is doing cpr on, then we have the baby on the wall who's also not breathing, we have the girl getting strangled by her snake, and we have him saving Athena with water. On a less this is probably just a coincidence note, Buck's first real brush with death is on the date with Abby, where he chokes and Abby needs to perform an emergency tracheotomy on him, the surgery on his leg leads to blood clots in his lung, he gets caught on a tsunami, during the warehouse fire in Buck Begins he gives his mask to the victim and openly states he will hold his breath and the sprinklers also give it the water elements, and after the lightning, the thing that stops working is his lungs. This all led me to the belief that they will drown Buck at some point. Mostly because I wanted to mirror elements of the shooting and one of the elements of the shooting is that it brings up a previous trauma for Eddie. The easiest way to bring up previous trauma for Buck is to drown him, you hit breathing and water elements. Having him crash his car, be driven off the road, drive off a bridge, or something like that, into water is a situation that would be urgent enough that he can't wait for help. At first, I just put Eddie in the car because I wanted Eddie to be forced to save Buck, but now I have a reasoning for Eddie to be in the car. 

Let me back up and explain how getting there makes sense though. The promotion of the season has had a lot of talk about vulnerability, and Buck and Eddie leaning on each other, and they need to deal with death as a concept. Eddie needs to stop chasing Shannon, along with dealing with the grief over having to save Buck and Buck needs to deal with his passively suicidal behavior and with the way that following the coma dream, Buck actually does care if he dies, so he needs to get to a point where he acts as someone who wants to be alive and asks for the things he wants. Personally, I think the only way buddie will truly work as a couple is if they get to that point, because a Buck who asks for what he wants is not a Buck who will let Eddie get away with thinking he's always right, and Eddie needs to stop trying to fix what went wrong with Shannon and just do what he actually means. 

Eddie welcoming Buck to the world of the living in the locker room gave me hope on that front because Buck finding out he wants to be alive and also calling Eddie on his bullshit while they navigate a place where Buck can face death as something not scary can be good for both of them, especially with the way they keep talking about both Buck and Eddie just “wanting to be happy” because they could walk through the trauma, and Buck talking about death as boring and the focus the show put on Shannon on the past few episodes, showing Eddie and Chris visiting her grave, more detail on hers and Eddie's relationship, Chris’ conflict with her memory, you can have them learning the move forward together. Oliver also saying there will be a chance of things coming up in a not so great light but the friendship persevering can also mean that they will deal with other aspects of their relationship that could create problems in their relationship, like the way they assume they understand each other so they won't actually talk about things that matter and just assume the other will understand what they mean since they are very much in sync a lot of the time, like for instance the way Buck definitely misunderstood what Eddie actually meant with his will or the way Eddie reacted to Natalia and the whole I feel like she sees me. They also need to deal with the way they don't talk to each other about big changes in their lives, Eddie didn't talk to Buck about changing his will or leaving the 118, Buck didn't talk to Eddie about the sperm donation, and they need to. 

So let's say season 7 is the buddie utopia of my dreams where they address these base issues, something they need to talk about is how it felt to save each other's lives. But they haven't talked about it yet, and it's been long enough they would need another trigger. But this conversation is the conversation you pretty much can't write without ending it with a love confession of some form, but I'll come back to this. 

We need a trigger. I said up there about how they are mirroring the calls in Buck, Actually. There we have a crush injury involving a vehicle with Thomas and Mitchell, we have someone injured more worried about the other's safety who got injured by someone while at work with Ruth and Earl, we have Lola and See Me Norman talking her out of the ledge. Crush injury and focus with hand holding happens both ways, with the truck bombing and the bridge, one of the injured by more worried about the other we also have both ways, granted one is a lot more intense than the other, but during the shooting Eddie asks if Buck is hurt and when they get kidnapped, Buck gets pistol whipped but he spends the whole time more worried about Eddie than himself. And we watched Buck talk Eddie off a metaphorical ledge in dumb luck, if we're lucky, we can get a mirror of that going the other way this season.

Most of my hopes of this particular thing come with the way Buck and Eddie's individual storylines are parallel but slightly misaligned, you have the first love who left and came back without giving them real closure, you have Eddie having too much responsibility being put on him by his parents when Buck is invisible over the fact that he “failed” on the thing his parents' wanted from him, the lightning mirrors the well quite literally, they are in opposite sides of the frame, Buck is in the sky, Eddie is underground, Buck is the middle of a street, Eddie is the middle of nowhere, (here’s a set if you need help visualizing that), among other smaller things, like the way Buck’s first death on the job was someone falling to their death and for Eddie too.  

That leaves us with the newlyweds who crashed on their way back from the wedding, aka a situation where both of them get hurt, but one of them gets pinned, one of them gets the worst of it. 

So car crash. 

I go back and forth as to why they are in the car. I played with the idea of Taylor activating her emergency beacon and them actually going into that situation willingly, but considering everything about the show, you can do pretty much anything, they could witness a crash and then things go to hell, they could be driven off the road, they could fight in the car and lose control, I don't know, but the thing is, utopia buddie who are in a spot where the change from friends to more could work, maybe toeing the line more heavily (I mean, we are mirroring newlyweds lol), getting into a crash while off duty. It's very important that they are off duty because now we're mirroring elements of the shooting. 

Why we mirroring the shooting? Well, because the shooting is a banger. I'm kidding lol. There's something inherently romantic about the shooting, Buck wearing Eddie’s blood, the shared looks across the pavement, the focus on hands, Eddie literally bleeding out and asking if Buck’s hurt, Buck escalating from we got you to I got you, from just hang on to I need you to hang on. And there’s also my personal belief that Eddie is aware of his feelings and realized what they meant during the shooting, so I want to put Buck in a situation where he can’t escape what his feelings about Eddie mean, because I think Buck never stopped to truly look at what Eddie is to him. And with where they are, to be put in a situation like that would force them both to confront these feelings, even if they don't feel like saying Eddie has been pining since season 4.

The shooting has quite a few elements that make it as intense as it is: they are not supposed to be there, it’s not their call and the 136 is the house responsible, it brings up a previous trauma for both of them, Eddie gets shot, bringing up things from his days in the army and Buck is forced to roll under the truck after being crushed by one, Buck does the saving alone because there’s no one else they trust around, it happens by chance because Eddie gets targeted just because, they are also done with what they went to do by the time Eddie gets shot. All of these can be achieved in many ways, the only thing I’m sure of is that they need to be in the car together and they need to be off-duty because if they are not off-duty you take away from the urgency of the situation, having tools and immediate rescue available waters the situation down. I don’t know why but I keep going back to them driving off a cliff into water, sometimes I shift to a bridge, but they used that with Judd and Grace in Lone Star so I don’t know if we would get a repeat, but basically I see them stopping to help someone, getting back to the car, and maybe the side of the road gives under them, or there’s another crash, that now is into them throwing them over, or they get driven off the road. There’s also the chance of them just losing control of car, a tire pops, it's raining, something runs across the road, and they get underwater. 

Why is them being underwater important? If they are just hanging on the side of the cliff, they can wait for help. Also, we are bringing up past trauma for both of them, if you put them in a car filling with water, you hit the water/breathing elements for Buck, but you also hit well elements for Eddie, and Shannon was also hit by a car. So their car gets thrown into water, going back to the Buck, Actually comparison, the crash, one of them gets pinned. The one who’s pinned needs to be Buck. Why? Eddie is the widower, Buck is the savior. Eddie has to live with the fact that he didn’t actually save the people he thought he did, and he has to live with the fact he was helpless watching Shannon die, and Buck exists to do the saving. So we are letting Buck be saved and Eddie know he actually did save him. It could be cathartic for both of them. 

And I want Eddie performing desperate CPR. Sue me. Can you imagine everything Ryan can give us there? Mouth to mouth, “you’re not doing this to me again”, being all wet and you can’t tell if the water on his face is from the water or his tears, begging Buck to wake up, Buck finally coughing wake and dropping back against Eddie, Eddie breathing as heavily as Buck as he hubs his back and encourages him to breathe while refusing to let go of him. If we’re lucky Eddie hiding his face in Buck’s hair or something like that. It could be so good. Because you can also have Buck looking at Eddie like he’s seeing him for the first time in a very clear revelation moment. You can have them looking at each other in a clear revelation moment. It could be THE oh moment.

And then they can talk. I said I would come back to this. Them having a conversation about saving each other, forces them to talk about what they mean to each other. You literally can’t have them talk about what it was like to save the other without forcing them to talk about how they love each other, and if they do the groundwork I mentioned, they can have one HELL of a getting-together scene. Imagine one them yelling “because I don’t want to live without you!” and the way it would be literally I don’t wanna be alive without you and I don’t want to continue living my life without you. And like, having Buck say something like this with the way he reacted to Thomas and Mitchell dying together and how he focused on them dying together, not the life they had, and the way Buck interpreted Eddie’s will as Eddie asking him to be okay with Eddie dying, Eddie asking him to outlive him, and have him look Eddie in the eye “I don’t ever want to do this without you” come oooooooooon, it would be such a beautiful conclusion to the buildup we have right now. 

But yeah, this is the madness. The ultimate wishful thinking. I could be so good.

Anyway, if you read this I love you 💜

[vizkopa]

Celestial (FallenAngel!Doflamingo x Reader) CHAPTER 12

Chapter 12: The Flamingo and the Hawk

~

You woke one early morning toward the end of summer from a dream about… wings? You thought it was wings at least. The details were already fuzzy and only became more so as you roused to full consciousness.

You felt the figure beside you begin to stir and you turned over. For the smallest fraction of a second, you were confused by the messy black hair against the white pillow. You weren’t sure who you’d been expecting. Maybe the dream had just left you disorientated.

“Good morning,” said the low, husky voice, a tattooed hand sliding over the curve of your hip.

“Morning,” you yawned back. “I had such a weird dream.”

“What about?” Law asked, rolling to fully face you. He looked like sin with the dark ink of his tattoos snaking over his arms and chest, down to where the sheets lay twisted over his lap.

“I… don’t remember… It just left me with a weird feeling, you know?”

Law hummed, his eyes already falling closed again.

You very much would have liked to join him in sleep again, but you couldn’t shake the strange dream. The more you tried to remember the details, the more they seemed to dance just out of reach, and after a few long moments staring at the patterns of sunlight playing across the ceiling, you decided to get up.

You dressed as quickly and quietly as you could, then made your way downstairs. The dream gnawed at the edges of your mind and you thought maybe a trip into town to pick up coffee and breakfast would be a welcome distraction.

You scribbled a short note for Law in case he woke before you returned and caught up your keys from the hall table. You checked yourself in the mirror by the door, taming the unruly mess of hair as best you could with one hand, clicking your tongue in mild annoyance at the rather obvious hickey Law had left below your ear the night before. Thank God it was the holidays and you didn’t have to face Nami’s judgmental stares.

It was then you became aware of a presence. As you laid your hand on the door handle, you had the distinct impression that someone was waiting just beyond it, as if they had just hesitated in the process of raising their hand to knock. You held your breath for a few long seconds, waiting. The presence remained, but they made no move. Why didn’t they knock? Under your breath, you counted to three, then flung the door wide.

The threshold was empty. The presence you’d felt was gone. You stuck your head out the door and looked around, but the yard was empty, not even a rustle of wind to disturb the morning heat. You ducked back inside and it was then you saw it. On the doormat, catching your eye with its vibrant colour in the bright light of the summer morning, was a single, pink feather.

You bent to pick it up and you felt that presence again, a prickling on the back of your neck, but by the time you straightened again, it was gone. Puzzled, you examined the tiny feather. Artificially dyed—it had to be. There weren’t any native birds in the area with that colour. Maybe you’d had a particularly eccentric mail carrier that morning. But no, it was Sunday, and there was no letter waiting for you on your threshold.

A breeze picked up, warm and smelling of wildflowers, and you let it carry the feather away, putting it from your mind as you shut and locked the door tightly behind you.

* * * * *

“What do you want to be for the staff Halloween party?”

Law crinkled his nose, setting down his third cup of coffee of the morning on the kitchen counter. “You really want to go to that?”

“Of course! We need matching costumes too.”

He smirked. “I see. You want to make a statement.”

You blushed. “I just think it’s time we maybe make a public appearance as, you know, a couple, I guess,” you muttered.

Law laughed and tugged you into his arms. “You just want to stop that new economics teacher from flirting with me, don’t you, [Name]-ya?”

“I would be lying if I said it wasn’t at least part of the reason.”

For some unknown reason you could not fathom, you had been reluctant to give what you and Law had a label. It had been nice during the summer when there had been no pressure or judgmental stares, but now school had resumed, it was only a matter of time before the rest of the faculty would have to know. You dreaded the HR meeting. Nami had already caused a scene when you had told her and it had been a feat in itself to keep her from gossiping all over the school. At least Robin could be trusted to keep a secret. Oh, the lives librarians could destroy if they ever had the inclination…

“So, any costume ideas?”

“Hmm, how about I be a doctor and you can be my sexy nurse?” Law smirked, grabbing playfully at your butt.

As you swatted his hand away, you felt that familiar prickling at the back of your neck once again. You ignored it.

“I think Nami has already claimed sexy nurse,” you laughed.

“Then I got nothing. How about you surprise me?”

As so it was that an angel and a devil arrived hand in hand to the party. Law had seemed overly amused when you handed him his horns and devil tail earlier than night for reasons you could not ascertain. He had at least shown profuse appreciation for the—frankly— sacrilegious length of your dress though, which had almost made you late.

Your arrival, as expected, invited a barrage of questions. Law muttered in your ear something about going to fetch drinks, and you looked on helplessly as he left you to fend for yourself.

Asshole.

You supposed it could have been worse. At least there was a chance your colleagues were drunk enough already that they wouldn’t even remember come morning. Though it wouldn’t save you from the dreaded HR meeting. Thankfully, Nami and Robin came to rescue you.

“Where’s Law?” Nami asked when she had finally dragged you away from the throng of nosy faculty.

“Getting us drinks. Nice costumes.”

Nami, as always, was the envy of everyone in the room in a nurse costume even more scandalously short than yours. And Robin was ravishing, as always, in a Cleopatra costume that you had no doubt was historically accurate down to the last minute detail.

It was then that the feeling of being watched came over you once again, but this time when you looked up, there was someone watching you. A man stood at the opposite end of the room, an untouched drink in his hand.

“Who’s that?” You nudged Nami and jerked your head in the direction of the man.

She frowned. “No clue. Maybe he’s a plus one?”

She was probably right. He was in costume at least, looking like some kind of musketeer in a knee-length coat and feathered hat. You ignored him and tried to enjoy the party even as the back of your neck prickled.

It was half an hour before you realised you were still without your date. Where had Law gotten to? Just as you turned to go in search of him, you were met with a firm chest. You looked up into the face of the man who had been watching you earlier.

“May I have this dance?” His voice was accented but you couldn’t place it.

You had barely opened your mouth to answer before he was sweeping you away into the crowd of dancing couples.

“Do I know you?”

The man’s eyes were an unusual golden yellow, like a hawk’s. You found you couldn’t look away.

“No. But we share a mutual acquaintance.”

You only blinked at him. His grip on your hand tightened and you winced, a thrill of fear suddenly running through you. He leaned closer, the mesmerising gold of his eyes glittering with a menacing light.

“Tell me where Dophiel is and I won’t kill you in front of your colleagues.”

Your blood turned to ice in your veins. You tried to jerk your hand back but his hold was like iron.

“You’re insane. Let me go.” You glanced around helplessly but none of the other dancers seemed to notice your increasing panic. You opened your mouth to call for Law but the strange man tugged you hard against his chest, squeezing the air from your lungs until your head spun.

“Scream and you’ll be dead before you can draw breath again,” he hissed in your ear. “Now tell me, foul witch, where you are harbouring your Fallen lover.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you gasped. “I don’t know anyone called Dophiel. Please, just let me go!”

He drew back slightly, his hand still clamped tight at your waist as he gazed into your eyes. It felt as if he was looking right through you.

“Interesting,” he said. “A strong ward indeed.”

You almost fell over as he let go of your waist but were kept upright by the iron strong grip on your wrist.

“Let’s see if we can’t tempt the traitor from hiding then, hm?”

You clawed at his fingers as he dragged you along, eyes raking the room desperately for someone—anyone—that could help you. Where was Law? Where was… The name died on your lips before you’d even uttered it. Who? Who else was there? Why was it your first instinct to call out a name you couldn’t even remember?

The man tugged you roughly up four flights of stairs until he reached the locked door to the roof. With as much ease as twisting off a bottle cap, the lock snapped under his hand and then the cool October night air was buffeting your face.

He shoved you before him onto the roof. The wind whipped at your bare legs, the feathers of your dress tickling your thighs as they erupted in goosebumps. The door slammed behind him, cutting off the faint sounds of the party floors below.

You stared at each other across the rooftop. There was no way out for you. He was blocking the only exit.

“Who the fuck are you? Did you do something to Law?”

He prowled towards you. “You mean your demon boyfriend? I made sure he won’t interrupt us.”

A new wave of fear coursed through you. If Law was hurt…

“As for who I am… I am a soldier and I am only obeying orders.” He grasped you by the neck, squeezing harshly, and began dragging you across the rooftop. Your feet scrabbled at the concrete, fingers tearing uselessly at his hands. He stopped just before the edge, holding you at arm’s length above the long drop to the black tarmac below. Your heart was a jackhammer in your chest, your feet reaching desperately for even an inch of purchase on the parapet.

You looked up at him with tears in your eyes. “Why?” you sobbed. The cold wind whipped at your bare legs.

Golden eyes fixed yours in a cold glare. “Because you are the only thing he cannot bear to lose.”

And with that, he let go. You seemed to hang there in the air for a fraction of a second as you clawed in vain for purchase on something, anything, then the air began to rush around your ears and a scream was ripped from your throat as you plummeted toward the ground far below.

[ailendolin]

I’ve been thinking about Thomas and the theme of change that runs through the show.

Thomas establishes early on in series 1, "You stay how you die," implying that the ghosts are incapable of change. We know that’s not true, of course. Robin is the best example of that. Not only does he manage to grasp concepts that are foreign to him (playing chess, doing crossword puzzles etc.), he has also learned at least one new language since he died. Like him, all the other ghosts have grown over the course of the series in one way or another, be it Fanny who realises that love is love, Pat who recognises that he pushed Carol away, Julian who's beginning to understand how much time he's wasted away from his daughter or Kitty who is slowly coming to terms with how her sister treated her. Mary, in fact, has grown so much that she was able to find peace and move on.

Thomas is the only one who seemingly hasn’t grown. He’s standing still, very much set in his ways, and I think that's because his character arc is not about finding love or realising romantic love is not what he needs to be happy but rather about change.

As I mentioned before, Thomas is the one who insists, "You stay how you die." He’s also the one who tells Alison, "We can change!" making it sound like that’s something the ghosts have control over even though we know it’s actually more of a subconscious process. So why does Thomas phrase it like that, then?

Because for him, it actually is something he can control because the Thomas we know, the Thomas the ghosts and Alison know, is not real. He’s merely a role Thomas has perfected over the years to protect himself from getting hurt, and there are mainly two reasons why I think that:

The theme of abandonment: we saw both Isabelle and Francis abandon him when he was dying, and while I know a lot of people believe the story Thomas tells about his mother letting him cry when he was a baby was just him seeking attention, I do think there was some truth to it because it's been established that Thomas doesn’t lie. He’s able to bend the truth and make it less painful (the kiss with Isabelle that never happened, him talking about his grand tour etc.) but he does not flat out lie. So if we take that into account, all three people he mentions from his life have abandoned him in some way. He not only died alone and unloved, he probably lived that way too and I would argue he is still “living” it. He can often be seen sitting or standing at a distance from the group (the double denim scene, or when Alison thanks them for the review) as if he's not quite part of it or at least feels like he isn't.

The differences between alive and dead Thomas: I think it's worth noting that the Thomas we see in the flashbacks is quite different from the Thomas we know. His love for Isabelle is a gentle and respectful thing whereas his "love" for Alison is the complete opposite. He also seems to have been quieter in life – still confident in his abilities and with a penchant for drama but in a subdued, more serious way. It’s a side of him we sometimes get glimpses of in the show: when he watched the sunrise with Alison, when he told Kitty she didn't need to pretend to like his poetry or after he went through withdrawal. Thomas’s true character shines through in those moments and the fact that we actually get to see that shows that Thomas is changing - just very slowly. For him, change is not about becoming a new, better version of himself or having a profound realisation about someone or something. It’s about feeling safe enough to let the mask fall and be himself around others, and about trusting them not to turn their backs on him when he does.

The main problem with that is that the others have given him no reason to feel safe so far. They constantly roll their eyes when he so much as opens his mouth and rarely bother to hide the fact they consider him a nuisance. Part of that is obviously Thomas’s own fault since the act he puts on is meant to push others away. But the others aren't blameless either. We know they can all be incredibly respectful and considerate when it comes to each other's trauma. It's an unspoken rule not to bring it up unless the person themself does (Fanny's death and George's affair, Kitty's sister, the Captain's sexuality and so on). That rule, however, does not apply to Thomas. When he goes to Alison to talk about his death, she barely pays attention to him at first. It’s only when the others come in, take over his story and turn the most traumatic moment of his life into the evening's entertainment that she gets invested in it. Gone is the respect and consideration they’d all normally show in such a situation - because it’s Thomas, and no one ever takes his feelings seriously.

I think in order for Thomas to change, the others need to change first. They don’t have to pretend to like his poetry or find his outbursts charming or anything like that but they need to make him feel safe the same way they make each other feel safe when they're at their most vulnerable. We got a small glimpse of what that could look like in the Comic Relief special when Kylie asked Thomas to finish the song. Everyone was supportive of him in that moment and genuinely happy for him, and I think that's exactly what Thomas needs to let his guard down and stop pretending he's someone he's not: to feel accepted and part of the family.

[grapejuicegay]

I've been struggling with Kawi's future in ep 7, where he has abandoned all his friends, has serious issues, and Pearmai has left him because he doesn't think of anything but himself. It felt wrong to me given how again and again we're shown how much Kawi wants to care for Pearmai, likes looking out for her, from the very beginning...

...to the point where he opened himself up to a rejection that haunted him for 18 years, prompting him to never sing again, just so he could make an effort to better himself for her. How do you go from that to this?

@waitmyturtles talks about how the show wants you to pay attention to time and truth and how it is relative to the moment in which it is being sought.

For 12 years, Kawi's truth was that the moment he was "rejected" (@waitmyturtles: truth is relative to the beholder) was the moment his life went downhill. Everything was defined by that moment that he considered a finality. Everything after that was him going through the motions - including his father dying - in that things keep happening to him and he just moves through it rather than as an active participant.

@rocketturtle4 has also pointed out that when Kawi uses the crystal ball, everyone seems to freeze in their character development at the moment from which Kawi jumps forward in time.

The first time he jumps back and he is Pisaeng's best man, Kawi believes everything is the same while Pisaeng thinks they are already friends.

The second time he jumps back is after he had lunch with Pearmai and his only new certainty is that he's the same but him and Pear are now friends. Except Pisaeng has also had this moment

And so we get Pear and Pisaeng still getting married (but him Pear and Pisaeng are all friends) and Pisaeng showing up with a confession for Kawi that he likes him.

And now the third time. The third time around, this is what Kawi thinks of himself

Someone special. Someone for whom nothing is impossible - the girl he likes might be interested in him and he just saved his father's life. In that moment, he is on top of the world. And he remains there in this version of the future.

@dribs-and-drabbles said in her post, "Kawi's Self - his identity - is built from his memories of the past and his immoveable desire of what he wanted and still wishes his future to look like."

This time around, he has goals (some of them originating from his desire to be good enough for Pear but now he has enough things happening in his life that it's not just about her). And those goals, along with the exhilarated mindset he was in was how we get the Kawi we saw there. Successful but so cocky that he's driving people away. And the exhilaration translates into constant partying, constant drinking.

Lin also said "he hasn't had enough time in his changed past to process the new memories of his past" which is true the first two times, but the third time he goes back he's about a year in the future (around the time his dad was supposed to have died, which was a year after his rejection) and has been an active participant in what is happening to him. Which is why this time around he also has memories of the past 12 years. Because there are memorable things happening.

Even Pisaeng is frozen in the moment that Kawi went back to the future. He still feels the same, he's still a patient guy, and still open with his feelings.

But the thing that made me absolutely sure about this? The very strange conversation between Kawi and Pisaeng about Kawi not being able to contact Pisaeng. Because there is no real explanation for it. "Is there actually something wrong with me like Max said" doesn't really explain that.

But Pisaeng entering with this line the moment Kawi's present is being frozen in place for the future.

Every version of the future is based on Kawi in the present (his past but not really. Not when he never really lived beyond that point ever before).

When he talked to discount Jinta (I've seen the theories about him potentially being Kawi from the future. I'm going to keep calling him discount Jinta for now), he said he wanted to fix the crystal ball to fix something in the past. The problem with the past was never really what happened with Pear, it was Kawi's inability to find a way to live his life. He still struggles with it now

He still has a ways to go but he's getting there.

And my ultimate hope with this show - which is starting to seem likely to me now - is that Kawi decides to stay in the past. To actually live out a life instead of trying to jump to the happy ending. To fix what he wanted to and become his dream self

Because they seem to be saying that there is no way to get the happy ending because there is no happy ending. There is just a life through which you constantly grow and change and experience things and if you aren't present, if you aren't growing and changing, you aren't going to get to where you want to be.