#as you can see it affect the way people interact with these idols afterwards

[lee-sanghyeok]

.

[sugar-petals]

:: random things about boyfriend yoongi

↳ ♡ NOTE I saw this format floating around the fandom and thought it was cool and sweet (just like our honey boy so here it goes) 😊  includes an sfw and nsfw bit, both can be read independently.

words. 3k

SFW

First off, Yoongi is laid-back and casually sexy the way we know him. But he also has spikes of energy where he actually gets a little clingy. Any opportunity he will use to hold hands or jump around like a madman with his gummy smile because he got excited about something that you never could predict would make him so happy. He truly is an epiphany.

He’s your most eager personal chef but funnily enough a little unsettled by onions so you end up helping him. Yoongi hates to be crying in the kitchen because of some evil little vegetable but hey, perfect time and place to spend half an hour huddled together cooking or baking. And Yoongi is secretly longing for a cheesy scene, he finds it romantic when you wipe the tears from his face.

His way of speaking to you is a mix of mumbly Korean, high-pitched pouty cat speak, and old-school English slang phrases that he learned somewhere on social media or award shows back in 2018. Most of the time he takes things seriously but is up for some joking anyway. He is sure to giggle every now and then which is really adorable of him. Yoongi is also the person who gets every nuance of your humor and reacts to it.

After being single, you really have to get used to someone waddling around the house. Like— oh, he’s there! And it’s none other than him! Since Yoongi isn’t noisy when he concentrates on his laptop, it really stands out when he morphs from his unmovable rock-like being to a slow rolling stone headed towards the kitchen from time to time. You have to blink every time. And how could you not look up, he’s walking by with his cutest oversized sweaters and striped fluffy socks.

He cannot hide things that normal people would try to keep secret — because of their own discomfort, but he is good at blocking out things that serve your comfort. I’ll explain what I mean. If you have been keeping up with Yoongi postponing the reveal of his surgery until it was successful, you know what I mean. In short, Yoongi is pretty much an automatic filter for things that disturb you. Knowing the right time and place to inform you is the key. As is disregarding things that don’t concern you as a couple, unnecessary drama and opinions. He’s really good at that without ever trying to sugar-coat the important things because he remains a frank and honest soul.

Yoongi has an easier time giving random presents for simple occasions rather than making a big deal out of traditional festivities. So, big celebrations are often kept simple — unless the rest of BTS is there advocating their ‘a little party never killed nobody’ motto — while Yoongi focuses on getting you something attentive or useful every other day pretty much. He’s still a frugal type, you know him. It’s more about inexpensive things that catch his eye because he heard you likes this or that type of snack or want this or that sofa cushion. 

There’s always something new and surprising in the fridge and it’s hardly ever empty because Yoongs takes care of the groceries, really thinking it through. Just personal chef things. Being Yoongi’s partner must be the most destressing thing. He takes responsibility for the worldly things, the ironing clothes and the trash cans. He himself thinks that’s the easiest shit ever and is ready to put time into it (he sees the merit, it drives him) while thinking your side — the sheer act of being in love with him, being there for him — must be hard. Which it isn’t. 

Yoongi thinks emotions and relationships are tough and complicated while daily life runs smoothly at the snap of a finger. You think maintenance is a drudgery while love is not the maze your boyfriend assumes it is. Deep down Yoongi thinks he’s unlovable and a bad person, that’s why he believes he doesn’t have the burden but you have. That your affection then blazes past the barriers in Yoongi’s esteem is something that he finds incredible. It catches him off guard there, you burst the bubbles of the flaws he falsely imagines he has.

You bet your ARMY bomb you’re watching cat videos together.

Guess who’s the first person to hear all of Yoongi’s upcoming hit tracks? Even Namjoon gets the first sample ten minutes later. You gotta be really advanced at keeping secrets and avoiding accidental leaks with your phone or something.

Yoongi hesitates with the analogy because it’s a little funny and you’re evidently not a steaming liquid made of beans, but he claims you really are like his daily americano. Makes his every morning better. 

Now, in all seriousness. What means the most to him is that you take him how he is and are stable company. Yoongi is afraid of betrayal and stupid games so he has to be sure to have a safe bet going. I think that’s why he fancies marriage, it’s a sign of commitment and some degree of permanence to him. And yes, he is a bit jealous in nature since he’s easily invested in someone with a purity of feeling, almost in a naive way. Yoongi easily idolizes his partner and puts a lot of energy into a bond. He wants to protect that, take the risk, and he has watched for someone who radiates genuine trust and faith. He is sure to have found it in you without any illusions and he is right. Loyalty, loyalty, loyalty.

Playing the piano for dinner or date night is a must, he practices constantly to advance to a great standard. He secretly finds a lot of satisfaction in you cooing at his skills and melodies. Those ten bony fingers gliding over the keys with such a technicality and focus, and a passion that makes you hold your breath, it’s great to watch.

Did you see that one coming? He will compose and produce a designated mixtape only for you personally. Yes, with a little self-filmed, self-cut music video for the title track. 

Now those things never see the light of day, they’re all for you. But what about your couple life once it touches the social realm? As one might expect, Yoongi is very ‘eyes turn narrow’ with people who bring disharmony to your dynamic and the relationship in general. In fact, he is grumpy and disappointed, and should someone give him a reason, distinctly brutal. If someone even attempts to test you or plays manipulative games, Yoongi is relentlessly turning them from the inside out with his words that never miss the mark. They’re efficient. As I said, he hates playing annoying games, he’ll do any shortcut and be Yoongi.

I guarantee you can lean back and will never the fazed by stupid people and time wasters again. No need to lose face. Yoongi does the dirty work and is the best possible defender to have on your side. He handles that. Invasive opinions and useless phrases he will shove right up some trashtalker’s ass and leave. Let’s squarely say he is unafraid to be a armchair critic of your and his haters and doesn’t want any of that nuisance to disturb what you have together. He cuts very quick and makes sure not to get tangled up in trouble.

Yoongi will also debunk a whole bunch of weirdos on weverse asking about your private love while he’s at it. Prepare for some very entertaining snide remarks. Oh my god, so many entitled people will be pissed off. Many will also celebrate him for stepping up. What’s actually important to Yoongi is that nobody taints what is like a treasure to him.

It won’t be hard to overlook that Yoongi is very proud of you as well. He looks confident and revering when he hangs out with the group and you’re somewhere close by, even just doing something trivial.

He’s also pretty touchy, sometimes publically to demonstrate something, but mostly in the relative calm and safety of a hotel room. When the lights are out, all barriers crash, the utter romantic takes over. His favorite types of kisses besides those onto his hands are when you kiss his lashes. And yep. Yoongs is such a cozy little spoon. A very curled up one with cute shooky pajamas on most likely.

Talk about clothes. Believe it or not, Yoongi’s fashion goes through a significant change due to the relationship. He knows that you are touchy and thinks about what kinds of flannels are the biggest cuddle magnet, after all. And oh wonder, he will also show some level of skin when he accidentally hears your praises for his arms and legs and collar bones and glowy skin while talking to a close friend of yours. So, look forward to that in summer (he still dislikes the winter cold and wraps himself into scarves twice his size, mind you) though it’s still for your eyes only, he covers up when going out. Truth be told, he enjoys when you casually touch his skin. Especially the arms. Which hold up the firmament to you, and your world, too, and guard it.

BTS will know about how excited he is about you because he often boasts about for how long you’ve been living together by now. We all know this is Yoongi’s favorite way of bragging and it further shows that loyalty, dedication and longevity is the spice to his every meal.

Yoongi is probably going to quit the bottle because you naturally make him feel at ease and upbeat. In fact, he simply forgets about his wine. I don’t have to convince you that Yoongi will be very immersed in any interaction with you whether that be watching movies or discussing his latest tracks. 

Those discussions come with extra back massages for him because he spends a lot of hours in his chair. Especially around the neck, it’s no secret that this is in every cat’s top 3 favorite massaging areas. Yoongi is gonna make some really raspy, sleepy sounds and just melt in your hands. He’s gonna sleep like a baby afterwards every time. Sometimes, he says funny and cute things while he dozes. He looks very content.

Say goodbye to the 21st century adulting annoyances in your life because Yoongi has a grip on those without a word. Those six specific chores that always plague you take him only a dozen minutes and he is eager, the forms to fill out are already sent off, the list of people to e-mail is weeded through. The taxes are paid, the bank account is full, the meals are on the table, garnished to perfection. Roof over the head, and it’s a sturdy one, Yoongi bought a sound haven house to inhabit a lot of happiness for two. 

He’s probably the only person who doesn’t see it as a loss of dignity if you want to hold on tight to him during a dentist visit as a grown ass mf. Why all of this? Yoongi cannot not strive to feel needed in his actions. He wouldn’t like himself if he couldn’t contribute something reliable and useful. That you find things worthy of your time is priority. You complement each other, what you think is a waste of energy makes him work and strive and vice versa. That way, in the end all things are taken care of.

Giving is more important than taking in Yoongi’s world. He thinks of everything because he considers it an offense to have you in a pile of duties, that is, if you don’t like ‘em. It’s his form of dedicating his efforts and showing respect. He doesn’t need much in return. The things he expects if at all don’t feel like a duty: Much like he doesn’t consider doing those acts of services for you likewise.

Work horse he is, he needs something on his daily to-do plan. Which includes making you feel unbothered by the occasions of an incoming strict world when it’s getting to you. You’re supposed to do what you feel like doing just like him and not slave away at fifty deeds. That you torture yourself with daily life hassle is the thing he dislikes seeing the most. He enjoys doing these things so he’s happy to get going.

What’s not a daily life hassle: Holly is a big fan of yours. Instant friendship. Just wanted you to know.

He always knows how to preoccupy himself and finds something to improve. Getting on your nerves, and that’s no surprise, is the last thing Yoongi will ever do. In fact, you sometimes have to search for his napping spot because he got lost somewhere in the house. 

He either sleeps or works, his philosophy is simple. If you need him, he does appear seemingly out of nowhere. And, he spends as much time with you as you enjoy, not always prioritizing his producing unless it’s urgent or he’s on an inspiration streak. Which is great anyway, you can sit next to him listening. It’s the right balance of work and play.

Yoongi is not above blatantly showing off. Actually, he goes for an act of stunning pretty often. You know how cats parade around whatever they just caught. He wants to impress you with assets and accolades and appraisals, the boy can’t help it. That you only lightly nod at most of it with a little smile will confuse him but he will get the point later on. You wanna signal Yoongi that you anchor your love for him not in shifting numbers and chunky metal pieces. 

That you don’t confuse his signs of outward worth and fame with the core of the guy you find the sweetest in the world is very important to him. He will take some time to see through that because he’s used to being loved through status and its symbols by people close and afar. 

The way you throw yourself at him to give a big smooch in random situations — especially when he doesn’t feel great about himself— rather than only when he say gets a new car is sending him a message. Again, he has to grow into that. He will retreat at the beginning because he feels worthless of your affection on days where he doesn’t feel big and bold and successful. But since he sees you jumping on him because you need only his kind and squishy presence and see him as no different than usual because he’s always Yoongi underneath, your boyfriend will change his mind about it sooner or later. He learns that your presence makes him feel like a billion dollars yourself.

You don’t wallow in the regrets of other people missing the point of Yoongi and instead focus on always understanding him rather than enabling Yoongi into wrong directions. And there are many of those, his mental health can tell you a thing or two about it. He begins to get that you really know what you’re doing and are in it for the real him which makes him feel really loved far underneath all surfaces and images. You accept his fame and admire his work with music which is what he’s truly doing it for but also don’t forget that the most vulnerable Yoongi is the one that you’re there for and not a facade.

NSFW

I know you’re curious. That Yoongi’s sexual style is more than just interesting goes without saying. To give you an idea. Anything steamy with Yoongi means him taking his time. You know, for making it quality. Yoongi wants to grow into the right balance of activity and staying relaxed. He is good at keeping cool and bringing some focus to the madness. He wants to figure out how to be more casual instead of tense and overly preoccupied which he’ll be at the start of the relationship. But the fast learner he is, his nervousness fades way faster than you think. 

Yoongi is extremely afraid that he can’t please you or starts to become awkward slash clueless so he darts to the opposite of the spectrum and overperforms, even plays a character. You have enough cool yourself to tell him what to do in the pace that works best. That he stays centered in his body is important for you to teach him. When he gets grounded and juggling his confidence is out of the equation, he fucks the best.

His favorite position besides giving oral — with you on your back — will be doggy style. Man, we gotta talk about that. Slow to upper moderate pace, nothing too all over the place. Yoongi moans very slowly, too, all drawn out. Get ready for a frequent session of some anal to unwind. You heard that right. First, Yoongi will get the two of you into the right rhythm with his hands at the sides of your waist, then, ride it out in slow mo with his right hand properly stimulating you from the front. 

By habit, he will add some lube here and there but not use insanely dripping amounts so everything gets messy or he can’t touch you without sliding off anymore. Just enough to slide well. Yoongi is so good at this I swear, it’ll be your favorite thing to relax. He has the restraint and technique to pull it off rather than pulling out, huh. Yoongi is gonna stay inside you for ages. It feels like he’s massaging every spot for some extra time. It’s amazing to slack off your muscles, cool off, and get many a gentle but fulfilling orgasm. 

He’s not gonna put you through the hassle of dealing with an anal creampie cleanup so he keeps it wrapped, and mostly focuses on your movements altogether while keeping his own climax smooth and more relieving rather than something that relentlessly knocks him out in one go. Yoongi is good at observing and doesn’t feel the need to chase a violent high which is why he is so great at sex. Fucking with Yoongi leaves a wholesome feeling and you never feel ashamed or guilty, or a sense of being dirty and ruined. 

He enjoys having sex to make you feel really good and works his hands on you very respectfully. His goal is to have you wet and pulsing after a long while of getting you there, and putting you to a good night’s sleep. He’d feel terrible if he left you sore or disturbed. He is really passionate, especially with his kisses or when you ask him to slide into very deeply, but Yoongi being brash and controlling is an image out of sight.

Besides giving you the number one heavenly assfucks, Yoongi also likes to work his tongue as we know, and he’ll work it all over. Few body parts of yours have not made contact with that glorious mouth and I say that in the best of ways. You can instruct him to do whatever, Yoongi obliges with radiant joy. And here again, he takes minutes upon minutes. Kissing and kissing and licking and maybe even teasing once or twice to make you smile. You know, a little signature wink. Honoring your skin and every shape is not something that Yoongi has to talk about, he will physically show it and I swear it’ll finally get into your head with every little move, Yoongi has totally surrendered his tongue to your body and worships it.

[krysphycookiez]

ateez | you as the female maknae

synopsis: you’re the youngest and only female member in ateez, let’s see how you get along with the boys

genre: fluff, platonic, imagines

pairing: ateez x maknae!reader

a/n: sooo uhhh yeah this is my first fanfic post on tumblr, i never really see these types of genres for in any ateez fanfic so i thought i’d try it out. i hope y’all enjoy it!

❤︎

tbh i think seonghwa be a bit distant at first, since he really didn’t know how to interact with you, not to mention the slight age gap

but then as you two started to spend more time together you gradually started getting closer

now the two of you have the cutest parent/child like relationship ever

take his babying tendencies with the other members and multiply it by 10

he always tries to take care of you in small ways like giving you water after dance practice or making sure you don’t overexert yourself

a bit overprotective but for the most part he just let’s you do whatever

also nags you a lot

whether it’s to do your homework or to eat something

he’s very worried about you all the time because of rude fans and netizens

but at the end of the day he knows you can handle yourself

even then you still depend on him sometimes

seonghwa also probably scolds the other members if they go too far with pranks/teasing

his bias towards you is very obvious

but he still sees you as a smol child that has to be protected at all costs

hongjoong is basically seonghwa’s behavior around you but 10x worse (not in a bad way tho lmao)

he definitely nags you a lot more because he’s a stressed leader

but that’s just how he shows he cares for you

definitely favors you a lot more than the boys when they are being annoying

he also makes sure you’re okay and in perfect health all the time

usually lets you help develop new tracks when you’re in the mood to help

sometimes even gives you some producing and recording tips, while also letting you listen to his most recent tracks

if you’re a foreigner that speaks english he probably tries his best to make you comfortable by speaking english to you

and both of you make a great translator duo too

even if you aren’t a foreigner but you still speak english you both probably have english conversations anyways

there’s of course those times where he scared you to death cause he’s upset

but he really doesn’t mean to scare you and apologizes afterwards

also overprotective like seonghwa, he just doesn’t want anyone hurting his precious baby

you just basically accepted that hongjoong and seonghwa adopted you

this bitch is either very soft around you or very annoying around you

depending on his mood, yunho will either baby you like you’re a toddler or tease you like there’s no tomorrow

especially because of your height too, he’s basically a tree compared to you

on vacation days he probably spends his time with you by either cooking or watching movies together

he really sees you as his little sister and he enjoys the feeling

if you’re one of the main dancers you and him probably do a lot of choreography covers together

especially bts covers

he usually teases you about certain idols you admire, jokingly saying you have a crush on them

this sometimes goes too far that even hongjoong gets involved

but at the end of the day it’s all just fun and games

whenever you’re feeling down he’s one of the members that comforts you because he can sense when you’re in a gloomy mood

he just wants you to feel happy and safe cause of the harsh idol life all of you go through

he’s also one of those friends that never lets you forget about embarrassing shit you’ve done too

but he will always be your sweet little teddy bear

like seonghwa, yeosang probably was a little shy around around you at first, probably cause you were a girl

but now he’s a ruthless and shameless little shit around you

he teases you all. the. time. there’s never a moment where he doesn’t take the opportunity to tease you

he’s the reason why you developed your sneaky and savage side in the first place

LOTS of insult battles, and it’s usually a 50/50 win too

though there’s always those petty fights about who won too and the other members just watch the chaos unfold

probably takes you out to eat chicken with him too, cause he still cares for you

and also the type to say “no one but me is allowed to call you stupid names and tease you”

speaking of stupid names, he barely refers you to your actual name off screen, he always has dumb nicknames for you

and vice versa too, you also can get pretty creative with names

but he’s also one of the members to automatically know when somethings wrong with you, like yunho he’s emotional support for you

also encourages you to push harder as well (ofc not TOO far), because he wants you to be the best version of yourself

no one can hurt you in any way or that person will get a piece of yeosang’s mind

even though he’s an annoying brat around you all the time, he still deeply cares and cherishes you cause he really does love you like his sister

he loves you so much! san thinks you’re so adorable and he just loves you so much

probably praises you for every little thing you do too. the others sometimes get tired of his antics sometimes but you find them cute

you steal his attention from wooyoung and that sometimes causes petty rivalries, but it’s all just fun and games

he’s also another member to know when something’s up with you, cause you guys were even close during trainee days

initiated a lot of skinship with you, and he likes to play with your hair too and vice versa

also a lot of aegyo between the two of you, you two are just so soft for each other it’s irresistible

san is also the type of friend to wake you up at like- 3 in the morning to play games with him or watch a movie

speaking of games, you guys also play a lot of games together

most of the time san wins though

if you speak english, he probably asks for tips and lessons on english, and you’re partly the reason why he has a smooth accent and decent vocabulary

you also probably tease him a bit, especially about his dance audition to KQ, which always results in a smack

platonic kisses on the cheek and head too off screen, there might have been a few cases where you two might have actually kissed on the lips

but probably because you lost a bet

he’s your little cheerleading puppy and you two are just such cuties together

crackhead duo, enough said

you and mingi always say and start the weirdest shit all the time, you both team up to prank the other members

mainly with seonghwa and hongjoong cause their reactions are funny. though you never dare to lay a finger on jongho

you two once started a running gag about calling seonghwa oppa (you call them hyung) and that joke lasted for a week

he also watches a lot of memes with you, and both of you have the craziest laughs ever

sometimes the other members are concerned for your mental health

if you aren’t a rapper, you probably try to imitate his rapping. it always looks very silly and he just cracks up at the sight

you two also cause a lot of chaos when it’s just you and the others without the 98 liners

also you two aren’t allowed to cook together anymore

one day when you it was just you and the 99 liners, mingi threw some flour at you while baking and it caused a whole ass war

hongjoong spent an hour wiping frosting off of the wall, and you guys got a huge scolding from seonghwa. still worth it though

you probably steals his hoodies cause they are so warm. he either doesn’t mind or gets whiny about it

probably has pasted sticky notes all over your room before in random spots, and you did the same to him too

you two are the equivalent to chaotic twin siblings and it’s just adorable

two words; sneaky bitch

wooyoung can and will annoy you to death with his stupid antics, and vice versa too

you two probably didn’t get along at first in trainee days but now you guys are the closest you can get

he’s very affectionate around you that even SAN sometimes gets jealous, san of all people! you have to be very special to make him jealous

also those petty rivalries between you and him over san never really last that long, it’s just stupid bickering

probably tags along with you and mingi to prank the other members

LOTS of flirting and stupid pickup lines

he usually wins them because you can’t beat that man’s charm, but sometimes he makes a comment a little too inappropriate that results in a scolding

both of you also do a lot of stupid dances together, and the other members just watch you guys wonder what the hell you two inhaled

if there’s a rumor/false scandal surrounding you, he will comfort you the most and protect you at all costs, even going as far to glare and call out someone who insulted you

also initiates a lot of skinship with you, though not as much as san, you just always smell good so he can’t help himself

you two also cause a lot of chaos at fansigns, whether it’s fighting over a snack or smacking each other with toys

sometimes people think you guys are childhood friends, and who can blame them? you two are so close it’s immaculate

and maybe a few dating rumors surrounded you before, but at the end of the day you guys are just really good friends

jongho is the only member who doesn’t baby you, since you guys are pretty close in age

he doesn’t really show it cause he doesn’t like showing affection on screen, but he always looks out for you

no one dares to mess with you when jongho is around cause they know they are gonna get their shit rocked

mingi and wooyoung learned that the hard way

he’s very caring for you and although he doesn’t show it by hugging or in any other physical gestures, he shows it through words

he actually was really shy to talk to you at first cause he thought you were really pretty, so you guys talked through notes

eventually he came out of his shell and now he talks to you like one of his close friends

if you’re one of the main vocalists, you and him probably sing a lot together, even when he’s breaking apples

has probably taken you to a few puppy cafes before so you could frolic with all of the adorable dogs

he just really wants the best for you, even if this isn’t super visible on screen

you also jump on his back a lot to make him carry you cause he’s a strong boi

he also just picks you up randomly and throws you over his shoulder just for your reaction

and it’s a lot of screaming fyi

overall, he brings out the more calming and quiet side in you, but it’s nothing bad, because both of you know that you care for each other

❤︎

a/n: so that’s it for the first fanfic post! i’m sorry if it isn’t that good it’s been a while since it’s been a while since i wrote a fanfic, so this is a fresh new start for me!

i might move some of my wattpad stories here on tumblr, but see will see ;) requests are still open! so drop some requests if you liked this one

this is @/krysphycookiez logging off... ♡︎

[citadelspires]

Ducktales AU Concept Because My Brain Runs On Concepts I Can’t Finish:

Dewey actually waits for the signal to start the boat and they actually leave for Cape Suzette without Donald finding out. He believes they’re ready to be left alone for small periods at a time and while he is still hired on with Glomgold the obvious complications there happen and he simply just goes back to whatever he was doing, because Scrooge wasn’t reinvigorated by the kids and never ended up going to Atlantis in the first place. Cut to the ambiguously set point of over a year later, and we get the return of Della from the moon, but to a drastically different world than the one she comes back to in the show. (For the sake of the au I’m just gonna say the moon invasion doesn’t happen cause the point of this is to focus on the characters and the imminent and impossible to stop moon threat would actually be impossible to stop in this au). I’m just gonna go through the characters and where they’d be at in this setting.

The first, and arguably one of the most affected is  Scrooge: He never got back into adventuring due to the absence of the kids pushing him back into the business. He continues to be profitable and avoid Glomgold’s attempts on his life but he’s generally less cheery and interested in the world than he is in the show. He cares about money and he only cares about money. Everything and everyone else are a second thought to him. Like she does in canon Della makes for McDuck Manor immediately upon return to earth only to find that the only one waiting for her is Scrooge. He opens the door to find her and his initial reaction is joy at seeing her but a secondary reaction he feels poking at the back of his mind is one of shame that this is the state he’s in for her to return to, particularly when she asks him where her kids are and he just tells her he doesn’t know. There’s a look of betrayal in her eyes when she realizes that he just abandoned everyone and cut off every aspect of the life he used to have and she doesn’t even try to hide it. Scrooge wants to offer to come with her to find them but something holds him back and he doesn’t. She runs off to find them herself and despite everything he wants to the contrary Scrooge just goes to his office like he would any other day, knowing that the person he’s been missing for over ten years now is finally returned after he thought she was dead and here he is acting like nothing is different.

Launchpad is fun because he never has any reason for Scrooge to find out he’s a pilot. He tries to mention it to Scrooge occasionally, like we see in the first episode, but just like in that episode he’s always ignored. Not that Scrooge would have any adventures for Launchpad to take him to anyway. So Launchpad continues being nothing but Scrooge’s driver. And that’s enough for him because he’s Launchpad you know? And he still looks up to Scrooge a lot, but he’s never given the opportunity to grow close to him, or anyone really. Fittingly enough for Launchpad, he’s just been living life on autopilot for a couple years, not really expecting anything to ever change.

Webby has two distinct directions you can go and I chose to go for the sadder one. She continues to be shut in the mansion. I choose to take her speech in the first episode about how she hasn’t ever left literally and say that Beakley kept her there her entire life. The possible other direction I mentioned is one where she only grows more anxious and hopeful to see the outside world and she’s basically just even Webbier than she already is. But that’s less angsty and enjoyable for me to mess with so instead I’m gonna go with she hit this wall at some point in the year or so between when she would have met HDL and when Della comes back from the moon. The weight of being alone starts to get to her and she starts to wonder if all her optimism and hopes are just a poor defense system put up to let her pretend she’s gonna have a better future than the life she’s got. She also makes continuous attempts to interact with Scrooge but the more he lets age settle in and distance himself from adventures the less she feels engaged with his existence. He starts to feel to her not like an idol or a model to live her life by but like a living, breathing symbol of how her hopes and positivity are shallow and baseless. Cause Scrooge McDuck was the only thing that kept her going for years and this is nothing like the hero she read about. But that’s the thing. She’s only really read about him. As far as anything heroic goes. So she reaches the final breaking point of all of this and decides that Scrooge is a fake and leaves behind her signature bright, bubbly attitude on life. This is the state she’s in when the story starts, to the point where a scene happens at some point after she gets drawn into the plot where she’s been outside of the manor now and Dewey offers her a hamburger and she says it looks disgusting.

Lena never got the chance to become friends with Webby and get her route into McDuck Manor. But that also means she never got the chance to learn about being good from the literal goodest person in the universe. She isn’t interested in doing the right thing and not hurting Scrooge or anything she’s just following Magica’s orders cause that’s what she’s being forced to do. But as part of the whole thing where she hasn’t got an in route into the manor she also hasn’t gotten any means of being successful in really any capacity in this endeavor. As a result Magica has... not. been kind to her. So while she isn’t evil she’s been living as magica’s meat puppet with the witch constantly in her head tormenting her for her failures for months on end and she was already morally ambiguous to begin with. So she’d take out Magica in a heartbeat if she could but there’s nothing that says she wouldn’t just explode afterwards.

Mark Beaks never had his B.U.D.D.Y. contested because Launchpad was never told about the self driving car and even if he had been he didn’t have the standing with Scrooge to make a difference and he didn’t have Dewey to help him make the declaration. As a result the product went up without any hitches. It was a massive success until BulbTech kicked in, turned evil, and suddenly it wasn’t. Anyone who could afford a B.U.D.D.Y. was using one, and the results were catastrophic. Not even Beaks had enough good press and money to pay for all that. He narrowly avoided prison but he was never taken seriously or given any chances to build up a company again. He still lives his life stealing technology and messing with inventions as he always did but now he does it a lot more illegally, a lot more dangerously, and a lot less sanely. Most devastatingly though, he gets like, no good press. People won’t even be caught dead following his twitter. He’s living his worst nightmare and he’s going to do whatever it takes to change that.

Gyro fires Fenton for leaking BulbTech on the internet and never looks back. He continues the work that Scrooge wants him to do and Fenton never drives him to push the envelope or do anything even close to what Gizmoduck becomes. He continues with his own dangerous projects and ideas but he does play it safe for some time. He’s content to just be making stuff, and Scrooge is content to just have stuff made for him. But he also never really gets to unleash that, well, part of Gearloose where he’s got a gear loose and it seems like he might just snap and make something really wild any day now.

Fenton never had to become Gizmoduck that iconic first time, so he just. Didn’t. The armor was left in its development phase as it was, and Fenton was never even considered to be the man in the suit when it reached testing. And it was only used for the menial tasks Gyro originally designed it for, as Fenton was the only one who had come up with the idea to use it for Gizmoduck at all, and he’s not there anymore, not that Gyro would listen to him anyway. Though it wasn’t as if Scrooge was in any state of mind to be hiring any superheroes in the first place. So Fenton continues trying to find some way to make a difference in the world with his intelligence but it... never really pans out.

Drake gets the role in the Darkwing movie, as in canon, as Scrooge is still interested enough in money to listen to the proposition for the film and try it out. The visit Launchpad has with Jim goes as his visits always do, and the fact that Dewey isn’t there to assist with Launchpad and attract Jim’s attention means Jim just gives up and leaves as soon as Launchpad faints, not even listening to what Drake is trying to tell him. So Jim never finds out about the movie until it’s already released, and Drake experiences no opposition in the filming, barely even remembering his one interaction with Launchpad at all. Scrooge cuts the budget for the finale but lets the movie go through anyway, despite his better judgement, mostly because he already spent the money. It’s a commercial and critical disaster and Drake’s acting career never gets off the ground, and he never has the inspiration to become Darkwing for real.

Donald continues to live just as we see him in the first episode, doing his best to support his kids while bouncing from job to job because he just can’t hold one down for any length of time. Life is hard for him but it’s the same as he’s always known it for the past ten years so he’s used to it, and having the kids with him is always enough for him.

Huey continues to make a name for himself in the Junior Woodchucks (i.e. robotics champion four years running) but he never really gets the chance to light the fire under his curiosity and love of knowledge. He learns as much as he can but it’s only as much as he’s ever been told he can. He learns within the boundaries of school and the Junior Woodchucks and that’s kind of enough for him because he never considers how much he could learn beyond the boundaries of how things have always worked. 

Dewey is as desperate to be famous and appreciated as he always is, and Dewey DewNight is most certainly still a thing, but it’s even less viewed and interesting than it is in canon. He’s not letting himself get disheartened but he looks at the way Donald lives on a boat and can’t hold a job and wonders if that’s what he’s gonna be someday. If despite all of his efforts and aspirations he’s going to end up falling at every turn and there’ll just be nothing he can dew about it. He doesn’t let it weigh him down too much but he’d be lying if he said it didn’t keep him up at night sometimes.

Louie is actually doing amazing. He’s living his best life. He’s lazy and scheme-y, still doing things like plotting that venture to Cape Suzette we see in that first episode, but he never has to wonder about his usefulness or place in the family, cause it’s just him, Dewey, and Huey, along with Donald. Donald is unemployed half the time, Huey is gonna be some big genius scientist guy sure, and maybe Dewey’s gonna get big someday but right now they’re just kids, and there’s absolutely nothing that makes Louie feel like that’s not enough. He doesn’t do as much here, there’s not any schemes that will make him rich or any Louie Inc, but the seeds of those ideas are still in his soul somewhere, he’ll find them when he needs them he’s pretty sure.

And that’s all the characters that I can think of to get into off the top of my head. I really just did this for fun so I don’t know if I’ll ever be doing anything else with it but these are all the ideas I got. Feel free to ask me about them or anything I’m just havin fun with it.

[kookiebunnii]

what happens after || kim taehyung

→ summary: in another universe, do you think we could’ve ended up together? OR exploring how your memories with taehyung intertwine with your slow recovery from a life without him.

→ pairing: idol!taehyung x reader

→ genre: exes!au, post-breakup angst

→ word count: 4.4k

→ warnings: n/a

→ a/n: i always wanted to write something exploring the feelings of separation after a relationship. there’s a lot of works out there detailing the process of falling in love, but i think there’s something redeemable in the process of recovering from love as well. 

●●●●●

The morning after might be the hardest part.

After a night of tossing and turning, drifting aimlessly between sleep and consciousness, the sun rises like it always does. When the dawn breaks, you open your eyes slowly, hoping that when you open them—Taehyung would be there.

But of course, he isn’t.

Because if he were, you’d already be in his arms. Taehyung loved to hold you while he slept, as if it comforted him knowing that he had you within his grasp. You never minded it, because the warmth he exuded was critical for lulling you into your dreams with ease. He smelled nice, like soft detergent on freshly washed sheets mixed with something so uniquely him. You would languidly lay in bed, curled into his chest, resting happy knowing that he’d still have you when you wake the next day.

When you broke up with him the night before though, this unrealistic expectation somehow still remained. It persistently presses against your heart, trying to win out against reality, until you were forced to longer believe in it. Gazing forlornly at the empty pillow next to you, missing the person who used to always sleep on the right side of the bed, your heart breaks all over again.

If you close your eyes tight enough, grip the blankets hard enough, you could almost feel his arms around you again. You could see Tae, dark locks messy with sleep, grumbling in annoyance as you try to poke him awake. He always mumbles ‘five more minutes’ before pulling you closer and burying his face in your neck. You’d always let him have his five minutes; in fact, you grew accustomed to setting your alarm a few minutes earlier just to ensure the two of you would still be on time. You wonder if he knew this.

Laying there in a bed that suddenly feels too big, you have no choice but to accept the fact that this was only the first day in the rest of your days without Taehyung. If you could push past the pain you felt today, things would get better. They had to, because how else were you supposed to survive a break-up?

But the loneliness and the hurt have made their residence within your chest, and you feel too weak to face the day. You can barely get yourself out of bed, so you decide to call into work sick that day. You were a star employee, so they surely would offer you a day off if you really needed it.

You spend the rest of the day staring at that empty pillow.

●●●●●

Prior to meeting Taehyung, you’d never dated a celebrity or anyone with as much popularity as he had. Given how big he and his group were, you should expect his face plastered everywhere you went in advertisements and other endorsements.

It was overwhelming, to say the least.

On your way to work you’d always listen to music, something upbeat and catchy to pull your attention away from the fact that he was everywhere. You wonder when they’ll remove the BTS advertisement for Chilsung Cider from the interior of this subway train. It’s been here for the past few days—surely they’ll have newer product placement coming soon. Despite the cheery beat of the current song playing from your earbuds, you can’t help but notice the small smile on Tae’s face. It’s the one he uses for professional things, the kind that makes his eyes glitter just enough to seem real. But you knew with aching familiarity how to easily get that boxy smile of his, his laughter contagious when you managed to crack him up beyond just a few chuckles.

Smiling sadly, your eyes lower down to the thin watch on your wrist. You’ll be on time for work as you typically are, so you should quickly get your act together. You were a radio show host, which meant that you had to make your voice engaging for those morning commute listeners. Being a professional meant separating work matters from personal ones, and it would be easy to tell if you were depressed about something.

God, what if your co-workers ask you what’s wrong? What if they find out that you’re no longer with Taehyung and just give you pity looks for the next month? You’d probably go insane.

Pressing your lips together instead of biting them for fear of ruining the gloss smeared over them, you briskly walk towards the radio building before dispelling those thoughts out of your head. You could be professional. Just for a few hours, you could keep it together.

Even when you dash past the photo on the wall, an old picture of you and your co-host holding up fingers hearts to the camera alongside world superstars BTS, you gather the pieces of your heart and hold them together.

●●●●●

Wow, did mint chocolate ice cream always taste this heavenly?

Burying your spoon into the icy dessert with renewed vigor, you pull the fluffy blanket over your belly as you commence your feasting. You haven’t had this flavor in a while given that Taehyung didn’t seem to appreciate it all that much, so you were grateful to be able to indulge in it once again. It wasn’t like it was your favorite flavor of all time, but you appreciated the crisp notes dotted with hints of creamy chocolate. You’d take toothpaste-flavored food any day of the week if it tasted this yummy.

You stop shoveling ice cream into your mouth when you remember the ice cream dates Tae used to sneak out of work to bring you on. He loved this one ice cream parlor down the street, always getting the same flavor no matter what. You liked to venture out of your comfort zone a little more, and given how often he took you there, you were close to trying almost all their staple flavors—not counting the seasonal ones. He’d always sneak a kiss from you afterwards, just to claim that he was able to sample all the flavors too. It always made you laugh, but you appreciated his small displays of affection. Especially towards the end, when the two of you began meeting a lot less frequently.

You place the sweet dessert back into the freezer, sighing and running a shaky hand through your bird’s nest of hair. It felt terrible to still reminisce about something that would never be, but you recently chose to forgive yourself when these flashbacks happened. Taehyung was one of those loves you would never forget because of how impactful his presence had been. So maybe if it took you a few weeks or even a few months to finally get over him, it’s acceptable. You knew without a doubt that you truly loved him. But of course, that did not lessen your obligations in relation to finally splitting away from depending on him.

Outside, the sky is glowing with brightness despite being seven in the evening. You lived in the city, meaning that the streets would be alive well into the early morning hours. It was loud and oppressive in the beginning, but you grew accustomed to it shortly after moving here for work. You wonder if you would even be able to fall asleep now without the hum of traffic underlying your dreams.

Maybe getting some fresh air, being around lively human interactions, and just living a little would help you move on. At this point you were ready to try anything. After all, it couldn’t hurt. You weren’t in the mood to cook today anyways.

You decide to dress a bit better than usual, if only for your own self-confidence. Your hands automatically reach for your favorite blouse and your most comfortable jeans from the interior of your closet. A lot of articles you own were actually gifts from Taehyung, so you’re grateful that you still have a few things that you could keep without reminding you of him. You wonder when you would feel comfortable wearing those dresses and belts he purchased for you. He bought them to show off “his girl” but now that you weren’t, did you still have a right to wear them?

When you finally escape from your worries, the cool night air blowing the strands of your hair with a carefree hand, you breathe deeply and try to exhale any stress still entrenched in your body. Tonight was about forgetting. It was about starting over.

It’s Friday today, so the streets are littered with happy couples, arms tangled together and their faces alit with adoration and happiness. You wonder if you looked as lovesick as they did, before ultimately deciding that you probably had. Tae was rarely able to walk the popular streets with you during rush hours, and even then he always wore a black cap with a matching face mask. The two of you grew used to ducking into alleyways whenever he spotted a large group of people heading towards the two of you. You remember feeling the hard brick wall pressing against your back as you waited out the crowds, glancing over at him periodically to smile mischievously at him. Maybe it was the thrill of almost being caught, or maybe he just liked your playful side, but he would usually choose to pull down his face mask just to kiss you when the two of you were hiding. These kisses were different than the post-ice cream date pecks. He’d always linger for a second or two, giving your bottom lip a greedy nip or ghosting the tip of his tongue across yours. No matter how many times he did this, your stomach always did flips in response.

The restaurant you picked is packed today, so you decide not to dine in. It would be rather weird to eat by yourself, especially amidst such a high-energy venue. Thankfully, your simple sandwich is completed rather quickly. You thank the waitress working the front desk before gripping your paper bag, heady with warmth, and head to the closest park.

One of the first places you discovered when you moved here was this community park. It is surrounded by large buildings, but that only added to the appeal of a small oasis surrounded by the mess of city life. You often came here after work, if only to stroll around the well-worn paths and think through how your day went. In the beginning, it had been difficult for you to adjust. Especially in the entertainment business, the higher-ups always demanded more of you. They wanted humor and fun, for you to pull fresh news out of the idols which fans craved. You had to be peppy, excited, and well-versed in the background of whoever you were interviewing. It was tough, but now you knew you had built up quite the reputation for yourself. You enjoyed meeting a variety of artists, most of whom quickly signed up for a repeat interview with you after the first round. You received the recognition and praise you craved, and you knew that you could only soar higher from here.

There are a few people walking their dogs tonight. You give each passing pet a smile when they look up at you with their round eyes and lolling tongues. Having a soft spot for animals, seeing them always made your heart feel lighter even if it was just a glance. Finding a bench is easy for you, especially since most people opted to stroll around this evening. The first bite is always the best, and it rings true tonight without fail. You chew slowly, enjoying the savory celebration over your palate before you slip back into your thoughts again.

You wonder what Taehyung is doing right now. His schedule must be busy, given that he was preparing for his comeback soon. You knew it was right of you to break up with him early enough that he would still have sufficient time to practice, since his work would always be his priority. It would be careless of you to end things with him close to his performances. You loved him enough to think things carefully on his behalf.

You remember how much you cried a few weeks ago, when you couldn’t even leave your bed to make it to work. Every time you blinked, he appeared behind your eyelids. It hurt so much that you never thought you could heal. You hated yourself, hated the universe for tearing the two of you apart. Whatever semblance of perfect love you found was replaced with the growing pain of your careers. You were climbing in the ranks, your days booked with more and more artists hoping to use your show to rise in popularity. BTS was traveling the world, performing for the masses and wooing fans with their genuine personalities in video interviews. As the two of you climbed higher, you also drifted further apart. You were beginning to feel the emptiness of being able to count how many times you had seen your ex every month on one hand.

The sandwich is quickly consumed, so you toss the empty bag into the trash can next to you and let out a sigh. Even though you wanted to not think about Taehyung tonight, it was difficult. Everything reminded you of him. Every time your mind wandered, it somehow ran after whatever remnants of him you still had. However, it was starting to hurt less and less. Instead of having your eyes brim with tears every time you thought about the way he used to look at you, you began to treat it as a silent acknowledgement of the past. You were satisfied with this development, but simultaneously fearful. What would it mean when you could finally think about Taehyung and feel nothing? Would that somehow invalidate everything he once was to you?

Your blouse isn’t doing much to protect you from the chilly night air, so you decide to take another lap through the park before retiring for the night. It’s difficult to see the stars, given the pollution and bright lights, but you like to imagine that they are there—shining down on you. They guide you back to your apartment, never leaving your side even when you shut the door behind you with finality.

●●●●●

Months have passed, and you are busier than ever before. Your coworkers have also began inviting you for dinners and other events more often. At first you were hesitant, not the social butterfly that most people expected radio hosts to be, but you quickly adapted. Everyone was friendly towards you for the most part, and the chatter helped ease and distract whatever sadness your heart was holding on to.

Christmas was around the corner, and you knew without a doubt that the entertainment world would be hosting a multitude of parties for the season. You were willing to join the tight-knit ones where only a handful of people were gathering for some red wine and conversation, but when your coworker invited you to a large rooftop celebration with some celebrities, you couldn’t help but hesitate.

“It’ll be fun! I’ll stick by your side all night if you’re that worried,” you coworker had chirped, a newbie at your company but who remained sociable and energetic nevertheless.

You had laughed nervously, waving her worries away and agreeing to attend. That had got her to finally leave you be, as you fiddled with the lid of your coffee cup and wondered what excuse to give when the date came around. Unfortunately, when December 24th finally did roll around, you simply stared at the calendar hanging from your wall and acquiesced.

Your closet is different now, as most of the items Taehyung purchased for you are now stowed away in a box in the corner. The newbie at the company, her name was Luce or something, had told you that people would probably be dressing nicely for the event. She then spent the rest of your lunch break yapping about some dress she had ordered online while you tuned out to play with the hem of your pencil skirt in nervousness.

Looking at your options, you finally settle on a scarlet dress that you hadn’t worn for a while. It was one of your first pricy purchases after your first paycheck, as a gift to yourself, and you were thankful to find that it still fit you perfectly. It was nothing scandalous, but definitely very different from what you were used to wearing. Pairing it with your beige trench coat, you check your makeup once more in the mirror before heading into the night.

The taxi drops you off at the location with little trouble. The sounds of the party are quick to descend on your ears, so you hand your coat to the coat check quickly before heading upwards to find someone you knew—just to stick around for the party so you wouldn’t feel isolated.

String lights have been strung elegantly across the sky, and you realize that it truly is a wondrous sight. Heat lamps are placed strategically across the floor, and a number of attendees are already sipping champagne and giggling with each other. Almost immediately, you see the coworker you thought of earlier, bounding over to you like an overeager kid and beaming with enthusiasm.

“You actually came!” she smiled, eyes wide as if you were merely an illusion.

“A promise is a promise,” you reply, accepting the flute of champagne Luce snatches from a nearby table to hand to you.

“Do you want to meet some people with me? I think quite a few of the celebs here know you already.”

You take a sip of the drink, appreciating the bubbles across your tongue and the slight flame that blazes in your chest when you swallow. You nod, deciding that socializing was only customary.

Your coworker is right to note that you actually recognize a lot of people in attendance tonight. The awkward feeling you had quickly faded away as you caught up with familiar faces and new ones alike. Everyone seemed to be in high spirits, happy to take a break to visit their friends and family for the holiday season. Their respective companies all allow vacations during this winter season, so their happiness is well-warranted.

It is only on your third glass of champagne, a red color brushed high on your cheekbones, when you take notice of his figure flitting in and out of your view. Taehyung is dressed in a beautiful midnight blue suit, the color flirting between blue and black. His hair is dyed a bright blue, likely due to promotions for his recent album. You can’t pull your eyes away from his tall figure and the way his lips pull in a polite smile at every person who greets him. He looks exactly the same, but then again, would a few months really change a person?

Suddenly, everything is too much and whatever progress you’ve made in the past few months flies out the window. You want to run out the door and back into the safety of your apartment across the city. That sensation only heightens when his dark eyes meet yours, and your stomach drops in fear and trepidation.

The thing about Taehyung is that he’s never shy with you. Even after months of being separated, he still holds your gaze in his own without fail. The two of you used to have staring contests, ones you would always lose, and this moment also feels akin to that. You choose to accept defeat the moment you apologize to your acquaintance and set your glass on the table. Heading straight for the stairs, reminding yourself to grab your stuff from the coat check on your way out, a part of you wonders if he will follow you. It’s fruitless, because what could he even say? You would only shake him off and apologize before running away again. He knows better than to chase after the girl who got away.

When you’re finally miles away, dress discarded on the floor, lying in the center of your cold bedsheets and staring at the ceiling—you realize that you still haven’t moved on.

●●●●●

The beginning of 2020 is nothing if not full of surprises. For one, you quit your job. If anyone were to tell you that you would leave your well-paying occupation one day to pursue a career as a painter, you would probably laugh in their face before recommending one of your psychiatrist friends. However, that joke was your current reality. Unable to take the stress of keeping up with every new act knocking on your door for an interview combined with the way the male high-ups expected you to laugh at the right times and talk pretty during interviews, you handed in your resignation at the end of January.

Perhaps the dumbfounded looks on their faces were worth the loss.

The next day, you book the earliest flight for Paris. You want some inspiration for your art, and what better inspiration could you derive than from a city with a rich history and a penchant for beauty? You had always been into the arts, so this transition came easily. Taehyung used to tell you that you were gifted, but you never took heed of his words. After all, his compliments were freely given to you when he was in a good mood. In reality, the most he ever saw of your skills were the doodles you’d scribble on his hand when he was unconscious from a nap on your couch.

These days, you rarely thought of him. It was reassuring for your heart, knowing that you were slowly accepting a tomorrow without him. The process wasn’t without its pain, but you were thankful at your resilience. You knew that he was doing just fine, as your mutual friends kept you updated whenever they felt like sharing.

Paris at night is a rare type of beautiful. Staring up at the Eiffel Tower, you admire its curves and lines as people glide past you without paying you any heed. You probably stare at the structure for a good 10 minutes without moving, your eyes appreciating the classy nature of its architecture before you decide to head back to your hotel. You wanted to sketch this monument while its shapes were still imprinted on your thoughts.

Turning around to see Taehyung staring at you, the fear you had felt at the Christmas party doesn’t rise up to coil around your throat. It surprises you, even though you had already admitted to moving on considerably. He is still unfairly handsome, his hair back to the natural deep chestnut you were familiar with. When he steps forward, caution enunciated in that single step, you give him a smile to reassure him.

“Long time no see,” you breathe, tucking your hands into your windbreaker.

“Yeah,” his deep voice resonates in that single word of affirmation.

“Would you like to grab a croissant with me?” you offer, unsure how to proceed but deciding to be polite regardless of how uncomfortable everything seemed.

He nods, his tall form quickly falling in step with your own. Taehyung doesn’t say much throughout the entire journey to your favorite bakery, keeping his eyes on the sidewalk underneath your feet.

Sitting outside the store, a warm baked good in your fingers, the silence is considerably more bearable. Eating with satisfied bites, you watch the passerby glide past with radiant smiles and laughter, joking around in French. When you finally brush the crumbs off your lap to glance at Taehyung, he is watching the same crowd as you were. He seems to feel your eyes on him, because he meets your gaze. When you look into his eyes, no more than a few feet separating the two of you, you realize the lack of hurt that typically panged with every mention of him last year.

The realization empowers you, ballooning your heart in your chest. It is not happiness you feel, but something akin to a peaceful acceptance.

“In another universe, do you think we could’ve ended up together?”  

His question echoes in the recesses of your mind, and your fingers unconsciously tighten on the thighs of your leggings. This same thought had plagued your dreams early in your break up, as you prayed and wished that if things were different, if your careers didn’t demand so much from the two of you, that maybe there would be a happily ever after and an “us” to hold onto. But this universe, these conditions, were reality. You couldn’t ask him to sacrifice his love for singing, his appreciation of his growing fanbase, his dream—for you. He couldn’t request the same of you either.

“Maybe. Namjoon used to talk a lot about that,” you chuckle before continuing, “Multiverse theory or something like that.”

Taehyung nodes, a small smile appearing across his face when you mention his hyung.

“If he’s right about that, then I suppose so. In another world where you are nothing more than a normal boy and I am nothing more than a normal girl, I’d like to think we could’ve made it work,” you whisper, and when the words leave your lips without shaking, you are proud of yourself.

“I can be happy with that,” he says.

He walks you back to your hotel room, keeping to his thoughts as he does. You don’t mind, knowing that Tae often retreated into his thoughts when he was considering a topic deeply. You momentarily consider asking him why he was in Paris but decide against it. If he was ready for aimless conversations, he would start.

When you reach the hotel interior, a large chandelier illuminating the white marble tiles underneath your feet, he finally pauses to give you his final goodbye. He looks like he wants to say something more, maybe to ask to meet again or something of that nature. Instead he swallows and exhales, “We don’t need another universe to continue being there for each other.”

“No, we don’t,” you agree.

He turns around, bidding you another a small goodbye when his eyes briefly flit to your face. You offer him a small wave in response, watching his broad back retreating out the room and the sliding glass doors. Heading straight for the elevator doors as soon as his silhouette disappears from view, your shoulders relax instantly in the safety of the enclosed compartment.

Perhaps this universe still had a lot left to offer.

[luvdsc]

would you mind doing a description of each member of nct dream? you don’t have to cuz that’s lowkey a lot BUT i figured i’d ask since i’m trying to write something and get their personalities right. i really admire your work!! have a nice day, babes!!!

yes, of course, lovebug 💕 I’ll be rewording the analyses from the asks about my ideal type and adding to them, so it might be a bit familiar! I could’ve written more, but I had to stop because I reached max length for each paragraph 😅 I hope these are helpful to you, and thank you so much for liking my work, honey bee!!! 💛 best of luck with your writing, and I hope you have a good day, too! 🌼 also, I’m on mobile and I’m so sorry for all the scrolling! I’ll add a read more when I get on my laptop ✨ edit: the read more has been added :’)

MARK :: oh, where do i start with mister absolutely fully capable? mark is the definition of adorkable. if you look up that word in the dictionary, you’re gonna see his picture pasted right under it. he’s endearing and awkward, and he tries his best in everything and puts his best foot forward, giving 110% in whatever he does. he’s a hard worker and a good boy. he laughs at that’s what she said jokes, and he’s the type of person to think of a funny joke from three days ago and start laughing at the most inappropriate time, like in the middle of standard testing. he’ll say things he thinks are funny, like “five guys hello guys” or that long sentence about possibilities and immediately look to you with those wide doe eyes, seeking a positive reaction from you and hoping you’ll laugh. he’ll try to wink at you randomly sometimes, but he always fails and just ends up blinking, which will make you laugh and call him cute and have him scrunching up his nose because that’s not what he intended to happen and he’ll be really flustered at the compliment. he’s really sweet, and I think taeil called him the most romantic? however, I feel like having a relationship isn’t a high priority for him right now. he seems to have workaholic tendencies, which could frustrate his s/o. he would need to have someone that understands his work and music is the most important to him, and he might unintentionally neglect checking up with his s/o at times. he’s a little shy and introverted, so it might be hard for him to make a first move if you aren’t friends at first. he’ll write dozens upon dozens of songs about you. that’s the way he’ll express his affection because he’s too shy to in the beginning and music is what he’s good at. there will be lots of late nights with him strumming his guitar and you sitting next to him, reading a book or playing a game on your phone, and he’ll call your name and you look up before he nervously starts to play a new song that he’s written for you. and at the end of the song, he’ll glance up at you really quickly before looking back down at his guitar, and you’re going to have to go over to him and take his face into your hands softly and tell him his song was amazing and you love it as much as you love him. and he’ll smile so big as his glasses slide down his nose before he quickly leans up and presses the softest kiss against your mouth to show you his appreciation before he loses courage to do so. sometimes you steal those round rimmed glasses of his and try them on yourself, and mark has to cover his face and look away and wring his hands and he makes those little oi mark noises because you look so cute and he doesn’t know what to do with himself. on the other hand, mark is also very stubborn. it may not look like that, but if you notice the relationship between him and hyuck, hyuck is always the one giving in at the end. mark will absolutely not do something if he doesn’t want to do it. I do think he will go after something if he wants it, but he will hesitate slightly at first. he follows the rules a bit too much. he doesn’t seem to be the most fun person to party with either unless you get him to drink a beer because he’s a lightweight, but that also means you have to take care of him afterwards. also, he said in an interview that he doesn’t like rollercoasters or fast rides, but he enjoys the cotton candy at amusement parks lol but he did go on those rides in the end, but his head was down the entire time rip. mark gets easily embarrassed. it’s like in that video where they read tweets aloud and mark got super embarrassed when jaehyun read this tweet that gushed about his laugh, and mark just curled up into himself and couldn’t lift his head up and awkwardly laughed. he’s adorkable. please tease him and hype him up in this very same way just to get this cute reaction out of him.

RENJUN :: renjun is the one you can call when you have a body to bury and he’ll show up with the shovel. he’ll call you a stupid idiot, but he’ll still show up to help you. he’s the type that would come over at 3 a.m. if there’s a bug in your apartment and squash it for you after much complaining and telling you that he won’t do it. he’s fiercely loyal and caring. he took care of chenle when chenle wasn’t as proficient with korean and made sure he was doing ok and was always ready to translate for him whenever. he puts up a tough, ready to fight front, but he’s a scaredy cat and if you pretend to be a ghost (read: jisung), he’ll be scared shitless. you can see him get scared and hide behind jeno and hug him so hard when the zombie jumped out in one of those save dream interactive videos. he’s the person you can banter with and he understands dry humor and sarcasm, and I think he’s best for e2l story plot lines because of this lmao but he also fits the best friend role well. he will roast anyone with no mercy with just a few words. he’s artistic. he’s super good at art and has shared several of his beautiful digital drawings before. he’s the person to go to when you want to have long, serious talks at 4 in the morning, and as seen through his radio show, he will try his best to give you advice, even if he may not be experienced enough, but he is trying his hardest to help. if you read some of the advice he gives on his radio show, you can get a better sense of who he is as a person. he’s really insightful and puts a lot of effort into giving the best answer he can. also, he really reminds me of a little brother or someone I want to be best friends with because we can roast people together or talk about paranormal stuff. he just seems really fun to mess around with because he gives funny reactions. he gives off that younger sibling vibe where only your big sister can make fun of you, but once she sees someone else doing it, it’s not ok and she’s gonna go after that person for making her lil bro cry. in a relationship, he wants someone he can trust with his thoughts and interests, such as aliens, and while his s/o may not believe in them, he wants them to genuinely listen to him and not just brush it off. however, he will still roast his s/o into oblivion. it’s how he shows his affection lol. he’ll call you an idiot and cute all in the same sentence. but he’s really a soft and sensitive boy underneath his snappy, sarcastic exterior. he cried when they won first place for the first time. i’m sure he cried when ridin’ reached number one on the charts. he’s attentive and likes affection even though he tries to say he doesn’t. in that one weekly idol dreamie episode, hyuck listed who hated affection, and he wasn’t one of them. he’s a good boy, and underneath all his snarky comments, he wants to be loved and cared for. you can see how he got a lil huffy when jisung chose chenle as his favorite hyung lol he doesn’t express his feelings outwardly as much, but if you’re his s/o, he will quietly adore you in his own way while outwardly being that one snarky couple who banters all the time. he’ll draw pictures of you, secretly have you as his homescreen, or have a secret photo album on his phone of just pictures of you. he’ll complain if you get him a couple item, like a bracelet, but he’ll wear it 24/7 and refuse to give it back to you. he will absolutely lose his shit if he misplaces it. he’ll cook for you if you ask, but he’ll make a big show about fake complaining about it beforehand. I think he’s okay with hand holding and kisses here and there, but he won’t do grand gestures of pda because he thinks those should be more private and between the two of you. he thinks pet names are sappy as heck, and he’ll get terribly embarrassed if you call him one but he’d be like “that’s so gross and corny... but call me that again.” honestly, just tell him ily and his cheeks will turn so red and he’ll bury his face in his hands but he’ll say it back in the quietest voice and he truly does mean it with his whole chest.

JENO :: jeno is someone who fits in so many roles. his character is versatile in a sense. you can make him into a bad boy, the boy next door, your best friend, anybody. his humor is underrated, and he makes funny puns. he’s good at sarcasm and wit, like when he asked jisung if he thought jaemin’s iq was single digits or when the instructor complimented him and said his rap sounded like mark and he was like “oh.... that’s not good.” he worries about being funny. he mentioned losing sleep over it in weekly idol, so please tell him he’s funny and laugh at his jokes ): he really is funny, and i love his humor. jeno is really smart. he managed to rank 4th or something I believe in his school after cram studying the day before. he’s really self-assured and confident in himself, but he doesn’t show off or act cocky, yet you can sense the quiet confidence in him. he’s humble and works hard and deserves more credit than he’s given. he possesses leadership qualities and is a source of strength for other members. i think they said he was one of the cleaner members and when he’s drunk, he cleans LMAO he is into sports and gymming, especially biking. hyuck said that jeno’s bedroom has his and jaemin’s bikes hanging on the walls lol he also is really competitive, but not a sore loser type. jeno doesn’t strike me as the type who needs his s/o around 24/7 and prefers to have hobbies and space separate from his s/o. he’s laid back, but at the same time, still energetic and fun to be around. he’s still weird, but not over the top weird. jeno is insightful and kind, and he has stated that he’s very shy and timid before. doyoung likes him the most because he’s kind and respectful and takes into account other people’s feelings and listens well. he’s a good boy. he’s also really playful and teasing and plays well with others, like jisung jokes around with him all the time. I feel like jisung jokes around with him the most out of all his hyungs aside from chenle because jeno doesn’t get mad. i believe the members say he’s the only one aside from chenle who doesn’t get mad when someone messes up in dance practices. he cries when he gets angry. jeno is also really affectionate. he enjoys cuddling and holding hands and back hugs and whatnot, but he doesn’t overdo it. it takes a long time for him to trust and open up to someone, and you’re a very lucky person if he lets you see this side of him. he won’t force you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. If something is bothering you, he won’t pry at first if you refuse to talk about it, but I do think he will eventually make you talk if he feels something is terribly wrong or if it’s affecting the relationship. jeno is driven and knows what he wants. he’ll give you space, but if you’re not what he’s looking for or if you don’t put the effort in as well and won’t open up to him, I do think he will move on. he might bottle up his emotions at first, but as the relationship progresses, he’ll be fully open to you and tell you everything. I don’t think he’ll be terribly affected if he’s rejected because he is confident in himself and able to brush it off. he knows his self-worth. oh, and he loves animals. obviously, jeno loves his cats because he has them even when he’s allergic. he’s the type of s/o who, if you mention you’re walking back to your dorm late at night after staying in the art building to finish your painting, he’ll show up with messy hair and his glasses in his sweats with a hoodie thrown on haphazardly and walk you back safely even without you asking. kiss him on his nose at random times just because you love him, and he’ll make that jeno trademark noise of confusion before giving you the prettiest eye smile that makes the moon dim in shame and nuzzling his face into your shoulder shyly. call him jeno darling or jeno love if you want to see the same reaction as before. it’s gonna be a total KO to his heart if you call him that and boop him on the nose with the softest kiss. anyway, jeno is the bestest boy in the entire universe, and give him all your love, please and thank you.

HAECHAN :: hyuck is so fucking talented. he’s good at everything: singing, dancing, rapping, variety shows, you name it. he was born to be an idol. he’s the golden one and excels at everything. he��s an ace, and he knows it. yeah, he’s cocky and brags about everything he does, but he actually has evidence and proof to back it up. plus, no one can stay mad at him for very long because have you seen how cute he is?? he’s a brat, but you still love him anyway. he’s good at sweet talking and getting what he wants. he plays a push and pull game, and you end up falling for him in the end. i know in fics on here, you often see jaemin in the playboy/fuckboy persona, but I think hyuck absolutely exudes this persona. he is able to read the room or a person and knows the exact way to act in order to get the reaction he wants. it’s hyuck’s world, and we’re all just living in it. he can have all of us eating out of the palm of his hand if he desires. i think he truly embodies the traits of a slytherin: ambitious and cunning. it’s every man for himself, and he’ll do whatever it takes to get what he believes he deserves and plays by his own rules. hyuck is so smart and intelligent, both in terms of brains and emotion. he’s absolutely brilliant, and he’s the type of person to ace an exam without even studying for it. I think he did very well in school, and he also beat doyoung in mental maths when they had a competition on weekly idol lol and he’s also street smart. there’s a reason why doyoung and taeil are scared of him and why they prefer to be on his team than against him lmao. I think hyuck is also a people pleaser though. he wants to be liked, and it’ll drive him crazy if someone calls him boring or shows no interest towards him. I think he’ll want a s/o who plays the push and pull game with him. he’ll playfully tease them a lot, and they’ll have to be interesting and able to dazzle him with their own wit and sarcasm. he, like renjun, is snarky and sarcastic. he likes to make people laugh and enjoys being the center of attention. he is super affectionate and rivals jaemin in this aspect. he thrives off of physical touches, hugs, cuddles, etc. he likes to cuddle when he sleeps, and I feel like he enjoys being the little spoon. he isn’t afraid of pda and will show off his s/o to the world with a loud kiss or back hug anywhere. he’s the type who would do that back pocket spin peter does to lara jean lmao. the two of you can laze around at home, while he plays video games on his computer and you can sit in his lap and he’ll do that thing where his arms are around you and his chin is on your shoulder. he’s a good cook, and he’ll cook for you, but he expects you to pay him back in kisses. his s/o might think he doesn’t pay attention to what they’re saying to him, but he does. he absolutely adores his s/o and remembers everything about them. he’s the type to surprise his s/o with their favorite flowers on a random day, and his s/o would’ve thought he wasn’t paying attention when they told him their favorite flower months ago. and please, please, please surprise him with flowers too because that will catch him off guard and you’ll see him blush and get flustered for once. it’s like when the dreamies first debuted, and chenle said hyuck was the best singer and he wanted to be like hyuck, and hyuck got really quiet and shy and flustered about it. however, he’d get really shy around his crush if they weren’t friends first. there’s that video of him returning something that twice’s mono dropped I think and he was so nervous before and afterwards. or there’s that time when he handed flowers to seungwoo and got so flustered as the dreamies teased him afterwards. also, I feel like sometimes people forget that so much hard work goes into what he does because he makes it look so effortless. hyuck works so hard in everything and puts his all into what he does. anyway, please appreciate hyuck and love him lots. he deserves to be showered in love and affection.

JAEMIN :: jaemin is like jeno in the sense that his character is also super versatile. you can make him fit any type of persona for your fic. jaemin is a sweetheart. his entire existence is love. hyuck said that he treats his members the same way he treats his fans in an episode of weekly idol before. he’s a really affectionate person as seen in the way he showers jisung with affection. he eats, sleeps, and breathes aegyo. you’re going to experience his aegyo a lot if you’re his s/o, so brace yourself. he even managed to make hyuck flustered when he kissed him in that recent reload era game video. he has a lot of love to give out, but he also wants the same amount of love in return. you can see how he craves for love from jisung in return and the way he gets a little upset when he doesn’t get it, like when jisung didn’t call him his favorite hyung. his s/o needs to be okay with being showered with affection and love, and they have to do the same for him. call him cute pet names, give him random kisses throughout the day, back hug him while he’s cooking, he will just absolutely glow and bask in your love. jaemin is good at cooking. he will cook for you, and if you cook, he’ll eat what you make with no complaints. it’s like that meme where person A gives person B a drink with salt in it, and person B drinks it all, and when person A asks why they did that even though it was salty, person B says it’s because they didn’t want to hurt person A’s feelings. jaemin is person B. he’ll also make you model for him and pose literally everywhere so he can take pictures of you because you’re the prettiest person in the entire world to him. he’ll make you his lockscreen, homescreen, hang up pictures of you in his room, all that jazz. he’s the one who buys couple items or outfits and makes you wear them with them. his entire Instagram account will be pictures of you or with you. however, he’s also petty af and nags a lot lmao. he complained to jeno when jisung said he wanted to eat bread at 3 a.m. and how he couldn’t go out to buy him any. he also nagged renjun in one of those dream vs dream videos for not having any questions about him, while all his questions were about renjun. or when he was sulking about jeno not knowing his favorite cartoon character. I believe he mentioned having extreme mood swings too where he’s either too quiet or too loud and out there, and as a s/o, you’d have to cater to both sides of him. jaemin is also an introvert. he’s very quiet and shy around strangers, but he’ll unleash his inner weirdness and loudness when he feels comfortable around you, and you’re in for a wild, fun ride. in that video where he and jeno were making cakes, he seems really hyper and wild. same goes for that video where they went out to eat, and jaemin was pouring soda into a glass dramatically. or when they played that dance game where you have to add onto the dance and copy the previous dances, and he added some random flailing motion and complained when someone did it wrong. or when he and renjun were paired up for that guessing game when they both had headphones on, and he started flailing everywhere and getting kinda frustrated at renjun for getting zero right. he’s a bit weird lmao. as his s/o, i hope you go along with his weird antics and have fun with him too! you also have to remind him to take care of himself. make sure he doesn’t drink that ungodly coffee drink of his or eat too much sugar. take care of him, love him, cherish him, and jaemin will be the best boyfriend ever. he might even set up a whole led light display for you at night declaring his love like he did for jeno. actually, no, he definitely will. he’ll do big grand gestures to show his love for you. he’ll fill your house with roses and press kisses to each of your fingertips with a different reason for why he loves you. he’ll continue to list the reasons for why he loves you for every star he sees until he runs out of stars, but he’ll never run out of reasons for loving you.

CHENLE :: chenle was born to be a star. he is so incredibly talented and picks up skills so quickly. it’s evident because he managed to debut after two months of training and he became fluent in korean quickly. he’s humble and gracious, and he’s the embodiment of that miss universe song: he’s beauty, he’s grace. he doesn’t flaunt his wealth, in fact, it only ever comes up because others bring it up. or he accidentally shows it off when he asks what rent means or when he tries to innocently rectify the situation, like when jaemin was like “oh his parents held a concert for him for his bday” and chenle was like “noooo no it was just to make a memory” on idol room lmao. the way he expresses his love is through gift giving. it shows in the way he told mark he’ll buy him anything he wants for his bday or when he gave apple watches to the 00 liners or when he immediately agreed to buy jeno a plane ticket to china to show him around his home. but he’s not trying to flaunt his wealth. this is simply how he shows his love. chenle is laidback and easygoing. he doesn’t care about jisung using honorifics with him, and he’ll go along with whatever’s happening. there’s that one video during mfal era where hyuck and chenle won the prize and hyuck was like “hey I’ll take the prize ok?” and chenle just immediately agrees and doesn’t care at all. but don’t get me wrong, chenle is super competitive. he wants to win, but it’s more about that feeling you get when you’re the winner, rather than the actual prize for him. he’s really into sports, specifically basketball, so i feel like he’d enjoy it if his s/o expressed some sort of interest in it with him. they don’t have to play basketball with him, but he’d appreciate it greatly if they listened to him talk about stephen curry or cheer him on from the sidelines. he’s affectionate. if you read my renjun description, chenle is the other one that hyuck said doesn’t mind affection from the other members on weekly idol. I don’t see him showing affection blatantly as much like hyuck and jaemin, but I think he loves receiving it. chenle obviously receives so much love from his family and is super close to them. he will love his s/o with his whole heart, and I hope his s/o will love him back just as much. also, I’m pretty sure he’ll love his s/o acting cute because his heart rate spiked up when jisung did aegyo on idol room lmao. I think he’s the only other extrovert in the dreamies, besides hyuck. I believe someone asked jaemin or skz hyunjin if they got close after the collab stage, and they said that they were really awkward with each other. however, skz felix and chenle became good friends! chenle is friendly and a people person. he thrives in social settings, and he’s a social butterfly. he’ll help people out of their shells and make sure to include them in conversations. he’s the type of person who would clear his throat and be like “hey y/n has something to say” if you tried to say something in a group convo and weren’t heard. he’s fine with being the center of attention, but he doesn’t actively seek out that position, like hyuck does. unlike hyuck, he’s not a people pleaser. I think he’s confident in himself, and he’s self assured and satisfied with who he is, so he doesn’t really care what others think of him. chenle is really playful. he likes to tease the other members and wreak harmless havoc lol you can see how he plays around with the other members, like in nct life where he just throws snow at jisung or scares jisung with a rubber chicken when they went to an amusement park in shanghai. he’s a thrill seeker. he loves roller coasters, shooting games, laser tag, etc. he gets excited over the littlest things, and he’s a naturally cheerful person who lights up the room and just naturally has people gravitate towards him. however, he has his serious moments too, and I can see him sitting next to his s/o behind the piano and playing something for them. but then, he’ll probably ruin the soft moment by slamming his hands down on the keys and scaring them at the end.

JISUNG :: jisung reminds me of high school puppy love. he’s curious about the world and introspective. he asked the fans to send him pictures of the moon because he couldn’t see it himself. I think he has a lot of deep thoughts and keeps them to himself because he’s introverted and nervous about sharing them aloud in case he’s not taken seriously as the youngest. he’s inquisitive and sweet, and he’s the culmination of everything good in the universe. he’s the one whom renjun talks to about aliens and paranormal things, and I believe he’ll want a s/o who will take him seriously on these things and listens to his concerns without teasing or making fun of him for believing in them. jisung is shy and gets embarrassed when he’s given compliments. there’s this video where the dreamies read compliments from fans aloud, and you can see how flustered and shy he gets as he ducks his head, has to pause and cover his face before playing with his hair as he reads through the compliments with the biggest smile peeking on his face. I think this is the cutest thing ever, and at the beginning of the relationship, if his s/o compliments him or does something cute, he’s going to react exactly like that. tell him his dancing is amazing, watch his fancams around him, tell him his face is nice to look at, etc. and you’ll see him get reduced to a flustered, blushing mess. the first time he sees you wearing one of his sweaters with the sleeves covering your hands and giving you sweater paws, he will combust and stutter and not be able to look at you as his cheeks turn red. he might just suffer a heart attack if you decide to casually call him a cute pet name one day. additionally, jisung is at that age where he wants to know what others think of him and he wants to be liked. I think this is the reason why he’s more hesitant about speaking up or voicing himself in an unfamiliar environment because he doesn’t want to give off a negative image. he’s also painfully shy, but he wants to make friends, which he explains on dancing high. because of this, he truly cherishes any friendship or relationship he has because it’s seen as something incredibly special to him. as his s/o, you’re gonna mean the world to him and he will value your opinion greatly. once he’s comfortable around you, he’ll be loud and talkative. jeno says that jisung talks the most at the dorm and he’s never quiet. jisung is also a lil shit lol, and he knows how to get out of things, like cleaning up after dinner by locking himself in the bathroom. he’s also a little lazy and probably not the cleanest tbh. he sleeps in jaemin’s bed or in the living room because he’s too lazy to go to his top bunk. he doesn’t listen to his hyungs and talks down to them in a playful way because he knows they’re whipped for him lmao. when the relationship progresses, jisung is going to act in the same, exact way with you. he’s a savage, and he will roast you in the same way he roasts his hyungs, like when hyuck wanted to go to LA with him for why not the dancer and he was like “you have to be good at dancing to go” (which btw, fight me, jisung, hyuck is literally the best dancer). he’ll tease you, hide items on the tallest shelf just so that you’ll call him for help, and smush your cheeks and call you cute. he’ll ruffle your hair and run up behind you and sweep you off your feet princess style just to scare you before carefully placing you back down or tossing you into the pool lol he may have complained about carrying renjun in that reload era game video, but he’ll give you piggy backs when you’re tired or carry you around if you asked. he likes playing video games and those block breaker game apps and when he loses, he’ll sit there and pout without realizing it. he does that little nose scrunch unknowingly, and it’s the cutest. he’ll like dates at home the best. he sucks at cooking, but he’ll try to do it for you. but it’ll end up with you cooking while he back hugs you, and you have to walk around the kitchen with him being a koala attached to you as you feed him bits of the food being made.

[helpimstuckhere]

PART I

(apparently lmao i didn’t expect this to be as long as it became)

hello there human beings with good taste, been a while. i still wanna pour out content but i have no clue about what i can post lol plz interact with me i’m not creative. but leaving that aside for now

shall we start?

first off

yamato’s feelings

with his previous love interests yamato was not in complete control, but he felt safe with the amount he had. he couldn’t choose who he liked but he knew when and how to stop if he wanted. as a kid he was so scared of being found out by the school that he constantly hid his face behind long bangs. but yamato felt safe enough to tell nacchan, a stranger at the time, that he liked his best friend. making me think that he was more concerned about being found out than his relationship with mikeda. it was an amount he could control. an amount he was able to accept and move on. but since i want to focus on what we have in hand and that’s basically all of it when it comes to junior high years, i’ll stop here hand focus on kyousuke.

yamato’s feelings for kyousuke were simple. an unrequited love or a crush, if you will. the main reason behind his interest in kyousuke was, as he stated, him being open-minded. seeing love as love, rather it be between two man or a man and a woman. at the time, and even now that is what yamato needs to hear the most after all. that his feeling are valid and that what he feels is normal.

but other than kyosuke’s face and open-mindedness, he isn’t yamato’s type at all. for yamato, kyousuke is someone he likes to watch. he hates that he doesn’t do anything about it, but that’s the mechanism he created to protect himself. yamato did say his like was similar to kyousuke’s interest in models and idols. liking a person from afar and giving up when even the tiniest problem appears. what kyousuke said to yuiji afterwards explains it pretty well. if it was real love, it wouldn’t be that easy. after that yuiji wonders if it is the same for yamato. (smooth foreshadowing lol) that brings us to how yamato feels towards yuiji.

yamato loves until it starts hurting too much. when he likes someone, it isn’t to the point where he puts the other before him, at least from what we’ve seen. his focus is still on his own troubles and feelings. he knows his limits, he knows when to stop. he knows how to stop.

it isn’t like that with yuiji though, is it?

after all, he was able to tell nacchan, who he called shibata-san at the time, about his crush on mikeda. but right now forget telling her, who he trusts, he wouldn’t even dare accept the fact that he likes someone, let alone yuiji. not just in front of sakura but also within himself. yamato, who just wants to love normally, forces himself to be with hibino. crushing all his previous words and ignoring his own feeings and personality. whenever yuiji does something that would give yamato happiness if it were to happen in his previous relationships -like hugs and affection in general-, he feels despair. as hibino stated, he is more scared of yuiji figuring out his feelings and drifting apart than the school learning about him being gay.

i’d say yamato’s feelings slowly progressed from the start. but the breaking point that made yamato develop stronger emotions for yuiji, in my opinion, was the fight with d*i. until that point yuiji supported yamato while thinking he wasn’t able to relate to him. he believed the best he could do was to stay by his side and act like normal. landing his ear whenever yamato needed to be heard. but while punching d*i what yamato felt, he felt. he gives yamato the thing he needs the most, acceptance. after all a little hint of the same reason was enough to make yamato fall for kyousuke.

this is where hope comes in. on those swings, yamato silently thinking about yuiji’s happiness has roots he tries to bury as deep as possible, so he doesn’t have to face them. worry for the other party’s future. something he never felt for kyousuke, who he knew he had no chance with. he subconsciously already thinks there is a possibility. that maybe, just maybe if he confessed... he ignores that thought and goes further. even if they were in a relationship, what about yuiji’s future? establishing that he has a chance with yuiji, the possibility is already engraved in his mind. acceptence is easy to misunderstand, thinking there is even a tiny chance and getting hopeful is what turnes like into love. a stage that yamato maybe already reached, but cannot accept.

thus, he runs to hibino, or anyone for that matter. if he can’t stop these feelings from growing as he always does, he will make someone else stop them for him.

but what about yuiji?

yuiji’s feelings

in an ideal relationship yuiji needs communication. he expects the other party to explain their problems to be able to solve them. he doesn’t ask more than twice, and doesn’t like to be nosy. on the other hand mayu wants to be told that she is loved, she wants to be taken care of and she needs affection. but these are expectations. she doesn’t say these things until it’s too late for them to fix their relationship. just like yuiji.

the problem between the two is caused by the both of them and not just yuiji, even though he blames himsef throughout the whole thing. his brain doesn’t process mayu’s thoughts and concerns properly. and even when he’s explained at a later point, the love that would normally help him relate to her is now gone. he doesn’t understand what he is supposed to feel and even when she asks him, he isn’t even able to tell her he likes her until the very end.

this is going to be my interpretation from my own experiences so here we go. the way yuiji processes things is pretty easy to understand by the other party. he is okay with just about everything and will want to keep the relationship going as long as the other person is someone important to him. whenever something goes wrong, the moment he notices he will take responsibility so he can keep things as they are. he likes the normal and feels comfortable with the usual. even if he doesn’t agree with mayu’s opinions, and even if he finds the situation annoying, he will give in and try his best to fix it. he will do this while still speaking his mind, both to feel more like himself and because he thinks that it’s the proper way. but inside, he will also wish for the relationship to end, while hating what he’s doing. that’s because this is pretty out of character for yuiji, he doesn’t prefer himself to act that way. he wants to keep things as they are but at the same time he doesn’t want to be relied on to solve everything, he doesn’t like to think that if he says the wrong thing, the other party will end up leaving him. this makes him feel unimportant and plays into the guilt factor as well. yuiji ends up thinking he is the one at fault since the other person finds one simple reason enough to leave him.

the problem is the expectations that came with a romantic relationship. the first days of love aren’t forever, it gradually vanishes and friendship fills the void it leaves behind. what keeps the relationship going is that friendship and some affection shown by both of the partners. at the end of their time together, what mayu expected of him was genuine affection. but yuiji is a guy who is pretty true to himself. he won’t choose to lie to make the other party happy and try to be truthful, because that’s what he wants from the other as well. someone who is in love, like mayu in that situation, won’t have that kind of clear view on things. this kind of clarity will feel offensive, even. when she feels so complicated, he is able think with a calm mind, come up with reasonable explanations. but mayu doesn’t want reasoning, she wants love, which yuiji doesn’t have anymore. thus the relationship is doomed to end from the start.

it’s a different situation when it comes to yamato.

yuiji hates problems.

he hates that when everything can be fine, it isn’t. that’s the reason behind his unwillingness to be involved with yamato, but in later stages it also causes yuiji to be so involved that he feels nosy. if the problem doesn’t disappear by itself, he is willing to make it disappear. a seemingly blunt act but he does think in a complex manner. this is going to be reaching, maybe. but i wanted to include yamato, yuiji and kyousuke’s sleepover in the picture above for that reason. why am i sleeping between the two, was a question even yamato asked himself. at that time he still wasn’t clear about his feeings towards kyousuke. still, think about the yuiji that thought he would beat yamato up if he were to make a move on his best friend. the same yuiji is now willing to not just sleep next to yamato, but also let the said best friend do the same thing too. that’s yuiji’s way of showing his acceptance and trust, in my opinion. that’s the way he decides to solve things. i trust you, and i care for you. follow my example and do the same. the problem for yuiji isn’t the fact that people are prejudiced, it’s yamato’s lack of self love. he doesn’t expect the whole world to suddenly not be homophobic. rather he wants yamato to accept himself, because yuiji already did that.

up until this point, his behavior is within the limitations of a normal friendship. he isn’t the type to show, but he cares a lot. he is picky with the people around him and when he likes someone he gives his all. but there are times where he goes overboard when it comes to yamato. when kyousuke got a girlfriend, yuiji is happy for him, but a moment later he focuses on how yamato would feel about the situation immediately. when things aren’t going well with mayu, his phone keeps ringing and buzzing. he is still with yamato, helping him as much as possible even though he finds going to sakura’s unreasonable. when he punches d*i, no one thinks it is possible for him to do so. even himself. but in the end he beats d*i up either way.

he feels at ease with yamato because when he’s with him, yuiji’s own problems doesn’t matter. yamato’s troubles are at first, a coping mechanism for him. it helps yuiji get away from his own reality, and be able to have a nice time with a friend that he feels comfortable with. concerning himself with yamato’s problems so he doesn’t have to face his own. but with time, yamato’s issues become his as well. he absorbs those feelings. and unlike his relationship with mayu, he is able to relate to him to some degree. he takes yamato’s feelings seriously from the start like he should’ve done with mayu, but couldn’t. this is what makes him want to be there for yamato but feeling forced to do so when it’s mayu on the other side.

romantically, what i assume about yuiji’s feelings would be more like a headcanon so i thought to share it afterwards. all i can say is before yamato sat on that table with yuiji, he had no idea about how he felt towards him. that doesn’t mean he started liking him then and there. it was just at that point that he realized. in their situation, especially for a ‘straight’ guy like yuiji, it’s even harder for him to understand what he feels. yamato didn’t realize his emotions before because he thought having feelings for yuiji wasn’t possible. it’s even less possible in yuiji’s mind. but that said, this is true if we are to assume he even has feelings for yamato. in the end the route the manga will take depends on future situations. most likely, while yamato learns to love himself, yuiji will find the passion and love he lost within yamato as well.

that is the end of part I folks. i have a couple more pictures that i’ve prepared previously to add this post but it took waaay too long and i don’t really want to bore anyone. i also have some comic relief posts and a very wishfully thought out theory about yuiji’s feelings towards yamato. i’ll share them afterwards.

thank you so much for reading, and i wish you a great day. see you on part II! (hopefully lol)

[baejl]

Oooooooooooooooookayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy The Romeo and Juliet of the K-Pop scene!!

Slightly Long post ahead!

Before we can throw a celebration for that, what is this 'we warned you' thing by the 97-liners? I mean, what did they see or know that made JiYong get a warning label? Or was it just their age gap? I mean, GD is well-respected by them, Bam and if I'm not wrong JungKook too, became an idol because of GD.. I get it if I'm looking deeper than necessary but whatever, this is the glue I needed to mend my heart and jump on another somi ship!

Now, I'm gonna pretend that I was always a JK and Somi shipper and that GD and Somi never happened! I can't wait for how things are gonna go from now on. Oh my God! I can already feel myself getting over-excited!

Anyways, great update! I caught up on your blame update too and I honestly understand where Somi is coming from, hell I was young and it took me a few days of properly getting to know the situation, that is whatever exo-ls know about the boys leaving- to get my head around and say that I accept their decision. I felt hurt and betrayed too initially but a few days of knowing the bullshit they went through and understanding where they might've come from, I felt better. I had accepted their decision within a few weeks after their departure, but their interactions afterwards adding to all the drama that happened over the years to the recent reunion of the members in that chinese show, things are going so much better! And I totally understand what a young Somi might be going through... Like we all have people who were so close to us at one point but no longer exist in our life and that's okay! That's normal human stuff. I would love for all the ot12 members to get back together and have a good time but at the same time, I understand if they don't want to. I'm sure we all can relate to such an weird space in our lives!

And with the some boys away now, I hope things will be better when everything goes back to normal. Also, a list of post-military things I want, includes proper comebacks and promotions, Chen in rots and etc. (You know what that means? More JK and Somi dates!) I'm ranting but I hope that makes it up for the lack of interaction on my side for the past few weeks! Life's been especially shitty to me these days! I'll see you soon, take care! - 🍁

hello!!!!! well, long answer warning haushaush

for the 'we warned you' thingy, it was just because everything happened so fast. I think that, as we have a space between the posts we don't get the period of everything, but the things with somi and gd were too fast: they met, started dating, released a song, went on awards ceremonies together... and, the boys, being her friends, obviously warned her about it. that's all.

about the 'blame' post: one thing I try to let very clear is how much the boys (luhan, tao and kris) leaving and the other boys enlisting affects her. like, she literally grew up with them! she joined sm in 2008 (the same year xiumin, lay, chanyeol and sehun got in), and since then, her happiest memories are with her members. she was just 17 when kris left, so it was all new and intense, but, somehow, being the awesome and brilliant human she is, she understood their reasons and simply... respected them. 

for the enlisted members, the poor girl suffers a lot - sehun would even joke about it saying that she cries more than their parents. when junmyeon enlisted was probably when it was the hardest for her and she literally dreams about the day they will be on stage as 10 again.

now, last but not least, our it couple, the show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique: SOMI AND JK!!!! guys, you have no idea how much I struggled for finding her bf 🥶 at first it was yugyeom, then I changed it to dokyeom, then I came back to yugyeom, then jungkook, then yugyeom again, and, finally, jungkook. honestly saying (if you're a delusional ARMY, do not read the following things), I was kinda afraid to put him and portrait him in a way his fans wouldn't like. but then I was just like 'fuck it' and made it anyway :P but yeah, I hope I can show you a lot of them (jokes, fights, dates) and that you'll enjoy it!

and, if you feel like you need to talk to someone, you can dm me always. I'm not the best one with words, but we can complain about life together! take care you too ❤

[kerikaaria]

If I Never Met You: Chapter 19

(??? X Reader) Idol!AU, Manager!Reader

Genre: (PG13) Fluff and angst

WC: 5.8k

Warnings: Swearing – offensive/derogatory words (censored)

Series Masterlist

Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20

It was nearing the end of September and the boys already released their first comeback, with their first mini album O!RUL8,2?. It had been just barely three months since their debut, but this album was already in the works during their debut promotions and they quickly went into practicing and recording once those died down enough.

Today was a day where the boys didn’t have any outside schedules, but Sejin and I still had some things to take care of at the company and the boys had some practices and lessons to go to. There was a meeting scheduled for early this morning, so I arrived for that but didn’t have anything in particular to do afterwards. I sat in the office, checking on a few things that we were working on before relaxing into my chair and browsing the internet on my phone.

Even though their popularity was slowly but surely growing (despite N.O not doing quite as well as we had hoped), the people who have negative things to say were starting to become much more obvious in between the positive comments. I really don’t understand why there are certain things people feel like they have to say. I wish I had a way to keep the boys from seeing those comments. But unless they want to completely ignore the internet, it was inevitable.

Thankfully, most of their interactions are on twitter where those who tweet them are for the most part supportive fans. They started to become good at filtering out the negativity, but I knew it was impossible to not be affected at all. I just hoped they used it as motivation to do their best and prove people wrong.

I found myself yawning and realized that I was actually really tired. I still had a couple of hours before I had any other real engagements, so I set my phone down and decided to take a bit of a nap at my desk.

I was woken up sometime later by a knock on the door. I slowly came back to consciousness as the person walked into the small room.

“Noona?” I recognized Yoongi’s voice.

“Hey, Suga,” I replied as I re-entered the living world. “What’s up? Do you need something?”

“No, not really,” he shrugged. “Sejin hyung asked me to check on you. Sorry to wake you.”

“It’s okay, I needed to wake up anyway,” I said, looking at the time on my computer, signifying that I had been asleep for about an hour. I quickly realized I was feeling rather hungry. “Have you eaten lunch?”

“No, not yet,” he said. “I was actually just about to go get some.”

“Mind if I come with you?” I asked as I grabbed my purse.

“Of course not.” He flashed a small smile and held the door open for me. “Anywhere in particular you want to go?”

“Not really. We can just go to that place you guys frequent. The one whose owner is really sweet.”

“Sounds like a plan,” he said as he put on his mask.

When we walked into the small restaurant, we were immediately greeted by the kind woman who ran the place. “If it isn’t some of my favorite customers,” she said with a warm smile. “How are you doing?”

“Good,” Yoongi said as he removed his mask. “We were hungry so we thought we’d come get some lunch.”

“Of course!” she said as she directed us to one of the big tables. “Is everyone else coming?”

“Oh no, just us this time, imo,” I said.

“Oh, alright.” She switched directions to a small table and urged us to sit down.

“What do you want to eat, noona?” Yoongi asked me.

“Whatever you want. I’m not picky, you know that,” I responded, smiling.

“Okay, then,” he shrugged. He ordered two different dishes, which she excitedly went to cook right away.

“How are you doing, Yoongi?” I asked.

He looked at me curiously. “Why are you asking me that?”

“Sometimes we’re all so busy I feel like I don’t have time to ask how you’re feeling.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. We’re getting used to the pace now so it’s not as hard as it was at first.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” I said, honestly feeling relieved.

“How about you, noona? Are you doing okay?” I paused, a bit surprised at the unexpected question, and he lightly chuckled. “You check on us, but who will make sure you’re okay if we don’t?”

He really is very thoughtful, I thought, smiling softly. “I’m doing fine. I’m much more confident in my abilities with the job than I used to be.”

“Good. Because you know, you really are a great manager.”

Yoongi was surprisingly talkative today, and we kept conversing until our food was brought to us a little while later. As I smiled and thanked her, I noticed the kind woman looking at me like she had something she wanted to say.

“Yes, imo?” I asked, inviting her to say what was on her mind.

“I’m just really glad that these sweet boys have someone like you to keep them company,” she said, making me smile. “I wouldn’t be surprised if one day one of them realizes how great you are and snatches you up for himself.”

“I-I’m sorry?” I asked, not quite sure if I heard her right.

“I mean you’re a great catch and I’d love to see one of the boys be the lucky man,” she said as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

Yoongi coughed, almost choking on the food he was chewing on as my mouth opened in surprise.

“Oh, well thank you,” I said, unsure of what else to say. I was sure my face was beet red. “I appreciate the compliment,” I finished, nervously.

She smiled before leaving to pay attention to another customer.

I turned to Yoongi and our gazes met for a moment before we both looked away, embarrassed by the woman’s words. Me? With one of the Bangtan boys? It was something I had never thought about. But to be honest, I felt that whoever ended up with the boys would be some of the luckiest people ever.

We finished eating and left the restaurant, and there was still a slightly awkward air left between us after the comment she had made. I wasn’t sure why it felt awkward. Maybe it was because she put the thought into my head that possibly one day, I could end up in a relationship with one of them. And maybe similar thoughts were going through Yoongi’s mind too – but was he wondering about the possibility of me dating any of them or specifically himself? Wait, no. I was stopping that thought train right there. I was not going down that rabbit hole.

I shook my head in a literal attempt to get rid of the thoughts before they went too deep. I could see Yoongi staring at me out of the corner of my eye, so I turned to look at him. Suddenly I felt a smile tugging at my lips and then both of us were laughing, quickly lightening the mood back up. I had no idea what made us start laughing, but I welcomed the change in the atmosphere.

“That was something I did not expect to hear when we decided to go out for lunch together today,” he said once our laughter calmed down.

“I know right,” I replied. “I guess it’s hard for people to see a girl hanging around a bunch of boys without thinking there is or will be romantic feelings involved somewhere. Especially when the boys are all rather good-looking,” I said in a teasing voice, knowing it would make him feel embarrassed. It was hard to embarrass Yoongi, so I enjoyed doing so when I could.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” he quickly retorted back, catching me off guard.

I playfully scoffed, hoping the heat rising to my cheeks wasn’t too obvious. “Yeah, right.” I did not consider myself to be a beauty by any means, and although hearing those words wasn’t going to make me feel any different, it still made me feel embarrassed to receive the compliment.

“You really are pretty though,” Yoongi muttered, barely audible. I was surprised I picked it up at all. But I chose not to address it.

The next few minutes back to the company building were spent in silence, but not awkward like a few moments ago. Despite me being embarrassed by Yoongi’s compliment, it was still a rather comfortable silence which I welcomed.

Yoongi walked with me back to my office before he went off to his own destination, probably his studio to write some music. Sejin was sitting at the desk when I arrived, and he greeted me with a smile.

“Where did you go with Yoongi?” he asked.

“We just ate lunch together,” I said. “It’s almost time to talk with the stylist team isn’t it?”

“Yeah, you got here just in time,” he confirmed. “Let’s head on out.”

We had a couple of meetings during the rest of the day. One of which was with the team that Haewon was a part of, but luckily she didn’t seem to want to cause any drama and was rather civil today. Maybe after the last time when her efforts were fruitless, she decided to give up.

Everything took a few hours, but once that was over I didn’t have anything else I needed to do so I took a look in the dance studio, where I wasn’t surprised to see the boys practicing their choreography. I carefully entered the studio and sat in the front to watch them dance.

It always made me happy to see the instant change in them when I entered the room while they practiced. While they were still focused and concentrating, they seemed to be a little happier, and maybe more determined to make it look good for their one-person audience.

After a little while, they took a break and I got up to bring them water from the nearby bottle stash.

“You done with meetings for the day, noona?” Namjoon asked.

“Yup, I don’t have anything else to do today,” I responded. “How long are you guys going tonight?”

“Probably about another hour,” Hoseok said. “There’s a few things that need polished up still.” Leave it to him to spot the tiniest inconsistencies.

“Jimin and I went to the usual place to eat earlier,” Taehyung said, “and imo told me you and Yoongi hyung stopped by together for lunch today, noona.”

“Yeah, we did,” I replied. I looked at Yoongi, who already had his gaze fixed on me. He gave me a small smile which I returned before we both looked away.

“She said you two looked cute together,” Tae added, smirking.

“What?!” Yoongi and I said simultaneously.

“Yeah, she said she thought you’d make a cute couple,” Jimin added, looking equally mischievous.

“Yah, what kind of comment is that,” Yoongi said, scoffing.

“I definitely don’t think we acted like a couple at all,” I added.

“She’s right though,” Jungkook instigated. “You two would look cute together.”

“You all want me to kill you, don’t you?” Yoongi asked as he stood up and approached the maknaes. “Guys, I think our group is going to go down to four members after today.”

The three culprits stood up and ran for cover, Tae choosing me as his shield.

“What makes you think I’m protecting you from this?” I ask him before switching places with him, grabbing his arms to lock them behind his back and hold him still.

“No, noona!” Tae pleaded. “You wouldn’t let hyung hurt me would you?”

“Hmmm,” I pretended to think about it while Yoongi approached us. “I don’t know. What was that thing about me and Yoongi again?”

“You guys are really good friends!” he quickly righted. “There’s definitely nothing going on between you guys. Come on, please. Don’t let him hurt me.”

I released my grip on his arms so he could run off while Yoongi approached the other two who also started blurting out apologies and taking back what they said as well before they could face their hyung’s wrath.

I couldn’t help but laugh at the whole scene. Of course he wasn’t actually going to hurt them, but it was cute seeing them play around like this.

“I got some funny pictures out of that,” Jin said, smiling.

“Oh, I want to see,” I said.

“Sending them in the group chat,” Jin responded.

I went to my purse to grab my phone while I heard the notifications ring from the others’ phones. But my phone wasn’t in the pocket I usually kept it in. Confused, I continued to search through the rest of my purse but it seemed to be nowhere in the bag.

“Everything okay, noona?” Jimin asked, noticing me struggle.

“Yeah. I think I just left my phone in the office,” I replied. “I’ll be right back.” I walked out of the room to go to the office, convinced I must have left it there at some point during the day. I heard the door to the studio open again behind me and turned to see Yoongi following me.

“I’m coming with you,” he said.

“You don’t need to, it’s fine,” I replied.

Yoongi shook his head. “You don’t have your phone on you, so I’d feel more comfortable with you not being alone.”

I raised my eyebrows at him. “I’m only going to my office.

Yoongi kept a blank expression as he looked at me, not budging at all.

Knowing he wasn’t going to take no for an answer, I conceded and we began to walk. When I got to the office, I searched around my desk and Yoongi looked around the other surfaces in the room to see if I could have left it elsewhere. Being unsuccessful, I looked in the pockets of my jacket I left draped over my chair, and even double checked the pockets in my own jeans. Still, nothing.

“That’s so weird,” I said. “I know I had it with me earlier.”

“When was the last time you recall using your phone?” Yoongi asked, double checking the places I looked at as well.

I thought about it for a moment. “Actually, it was probably in here. Right before I took my nap, I was using my phone.” I paused before suddenly remembering something. “I set it down on the desk before drifting off, and I don’t recall grabbing it before we went to lunch.”

“Hmm,” Yoongi contemplated what could have happened. “You don’t think Sejin hyung would have it, do you?” he asked.

“I doubt it,” I said. “Worth a shot to ask, though.”

Yoongi called Sejin on his phone to ask if he’d seen my phone at all today, but he soon ended the call before shaking his head. “He said he hasn’t seen it.”

“What could have happened?” I asked, trying to piece things together. “Was it even on my desk when I woke up?” I thought about it for a moment. “Wait. You’re not playing a prank on me are you?” I asked, walking toward Yoongi with my hands outstretched toward his pockets.

“Yah!” Yoongi said, backing away from me quickly. “Of course not. I wouldn’t go through this much trouble for a joke. Let me try calling it,” he suggested.

“Why didn’t we think of that sooner?” I asked myself under my breath.

He called my number, placing the phone to his ear just for a moment to confirm it was ringing before pulling it away to listen for my phone. But neither of us heard anything.

“I know I left the volume on,” I said, becoming increasingly confused.

We stood in silence for a moment, thinking.

“Let’s go back to the dance studio,” Yoongi said. “I need to get back to practice and it’s obviously not here so being in here won’t help us at all.”

I nodded and followed him back to the studio where the rest of the boys looked ready to resume practice.

“Did you find it?” Hoseok asked as we walked in.

I shook my head. “No. It wasn’t anywhere in the office. That was definitely the last place I remember using it, which was actually this morning before we went to lunch. I have no idea what happened.”

Yoongi had been looking at his phone the whole way back, and suddenly he stopped and looked up at me. “Noona.”

“What’s up?” I inquired.

“I think someone took your phone,” he said, turning back to his screen.

“Why is that?” I asked hesitantly, scared of the answer.

He showed me what he was looking at, and my eyes widened. The pictures that could have only been the ones that Jin mentioned before I went to look for my phone had been posted on Twitter. There were two, one of Tae hiding behind me and the other was me holding his arms behind his back while he stared at Yoongi approaching him.

“What’s going on?” Jungkook asked.

I took the phone from Yoongi’s hand, wanting to further investigate. I heard Yoongi responding but was too focused on my mission to hear what he was saying. Clicking on the profile of the person who originally uploaded the photos, I found other tweets. All from today, and all pictures of me and the boys that we had taken over the months. And of course, they were tagged with anything that would lead someone searching for BTS to them. The profile had been created just today and all the tweets were shared starting within the last few hours. Definitely after my phone had gone missing.

By the time I looked up from Yoongi’s phone, he was standing next to me observing what I was doing, and the other boys were all looking at their own phones to check it out as well. I turned my attention back to the posts, which were getting way too much attention for comfort. Luckily, I hadn’t saved any pictures from the morning when I woke up in Jin’s arms, and those were the only ones I could think of that could cause a legit scandal. I clicked on one of the tweets and scrolled down, seeing a slew of comments that I probably would have preferred to not exist.

“Who are you and what are you doing with my oppas???”

“Wow look at this sl**. Who does she think she is?”

“BigHit must have terrible management if they’re letting some foreign w**** put her hands all over BTS.”

“Ugly b****!!!!”

Yoongi grabbed the phone out of my hands before I could read anymore. “Don’t you dare listen to them, noona.”

The volume of his voice shocked me. It also garnered the attention of the other six boys, who all looked at me with concerned faces.

“She read the comments, didn’t she?” Jin asked and Yoongi just nodded in response.

“I’m going to call Sejin hyung,” Namjoon said. “Jin hyung, you call Bang.”

“Why would someone do this?” Jimin asked. “Who would… Wait never mind, I know exactly who would do something like this.”

I fell to a sitting position the floor, my body not having any strength to hold me up and my mind going blank. I vaguely heard some shuffling and a few arms were quickly supporting my back.

“It’s okay, noona,” Tae’s voice said from my right.

“Don’t worry, it’s only temporary,” Hoseok, who was on my left, added. “Bang and Sejin hyung will have a solution for this.”

Taehyung gently led my head to his shoulder and stroked my hair gently, knowing well that when I was upset affection was the best comfort for me.

The rest of the boys surrounded me on the floor, except for Joon and Jin who were still on the phone.

“Noona, whatever those people said don’t mean anything,” Jungkook said.

“They’re just upset because they don’t know who you are,” Jimin added.

“Yeah,” Tae chimed in. “And you’re none of the things they’re calling you. You’re an amazing and beautiful person, noona.”

Jin knelt in front of me, having ended his call with Bang PD-nim. “He just found out about it too. PR only caught wind of it just a little bit ago. He wants you to go to his office.”

I nodded, and attempted to stand up but my legs felt like jelly. Noticing this, Tae and Hobi helped me into a standing position.

“Sejin hyung also just heard from PR,” Namjoon said. “He asked me to tweet a picture of the eight of us and mention you’re our manager. That should help calm things down until an official statement is released.”

“It’s going to be okay, noona,” Jungkook said. “You didn’t do anything wrong, you know that. PD-nim will help fix this.”

“Come on.” Yoongi held out his hand. “I’ll go with you to see him.”

I took his hand and he led me out the door, heading towards our boss’ office. Once there, he knocked for me and we entered.

I bowed deeply, feeling at fault for what was going on. “I’m so sorry, PD-nim. It’s all my fault, I should have kept better care of my belongings.”

“Sit down, (Y/n),” he said calmly. “You too, Yoongi. Thanks for coming with her.” I straightened up and followed his instruction. “So, Yoongi said that we believe someone took your phone. Tell me, when and where do you think this happened?”

“The last time I recall using my phone was this morning in my office, just before I dozed off into a nap,” I admitted. “I think I left it sitting on my desk and I don’t recall grabbing it after I woke up. But I didn’t notice until just a little bit ago that it was gone.”

“If it happened here, that’s good,” Bang PD said. “Let’s go look at the security footage from the hallway, see if anyone entered your office.”

We all walked to the nearby security office and they helped us pull up the recording from this morning. Sure enough, we saw someone walk by the door to my office, and double take to look through the window. She stood outside for a moment, seeming to contemplate something, before deciding to open the door and came back out a moment later, very obviously holding my phone in her hands.

I’ll give you one guess whose face I recognized on the screen. So much for thinking she had given up.

“Haewon,” Yoongi practically growled her name.

“Well, someone’s getting fired,” PD-nim said as we all started walking back toward the dance studio. “Don’t worry about the rest, (Y/n). I’ll take care of it. We’ll release a statement explaining who you are and your relationship with the boys, and that your phone got hacked by an employee of the company who has now been terminated.”

“Can’t we be in the room when you fire her?” Yoongi asked. “I want to see her face when she realizes she’s been found out.”

“It would be rather inappropriate of me to have you in the room,” PD-nim said, stopping at the studio door. “But I may happen to accidentally video call you,” he said with a smile before turning the handle.

We walked into the room, all eyes turning their attention to us. “Oh, and (Y/n),” Bang called out to me before closing the door all the way. “Comments written in jealousy are empty and mean nothing. Don’t listen to them, okay?”

I gave him a small smile and nodded before he walked away.

“So?” Jimin asked expectantly.

I looked at Yoongi, who just smirked. “We’re going to have a show to watch.” It wasn’t really necessary to explain what had happened – by now everyone had figured that there was only one person who would stoop so low.

As we waited for the “accidental” call from Bang PD-nim, Namjoon showed me the tweet he shared. He wrote, “Everyone, meet our manager and friend, (Y/n)! She’s been with us for a year now and she’s amazing and treats us so well. We hope you love her as much as we do!” Underneath was one of my favorite pictures of the eight of us. It was from the day they surprised me at the park last year, and we had asked someone to take a picture of us. We’re in some kind of big group hug and we all look really happy.

The comments underneath were amazing, drastically different from the ones I saw before.

Awww, I’m so jealous of her, getting to spend so much time with you! You all look so happy!

I knew it had to be something like that. I’m glad you said something, those jealous girls needed someone to shut them up.

But why and how did the pictures get released in the first place? Was this planned for publicity?

She’s so cute! You got a fan in me, (Y/n) unnie!

She looks young to be a manager, but maybe that means she’s just that good at her job. BTS, (Y/n) unnie, fighting!

And many more similar comments filled the feed. A wave of relief washed over me. Some may not believe it and still think it was a publicity stunt, but the explanation would be coming soon with the PR statement. Bang PD-nim just needed to talk to Haewon first.

“See, I told you it was temporary,” Hoseok said as he wrapped his arms around me to hug me tight.

“I’m just glad this was something that we could wash over really quick,” I said.

Yoongi’s phone rang and he accepted the video call, keeping his own camera off and muted his microphone just in case. He propped it up in a spot on the floor where all of us could see.

“She’s about to enter my office,” Bang PD whispered toward the phone.

We then heard a knock at the door before he invited the guest to come in. She walked in, slightly bowing her head and saying hello. He had positioned his phone really well so we could see everything she did.

“You needed to see me?” Haewon asked, trying to sound innocent.

“Yes,” PD-nim responded. “Something happened today, and it caused quite a bit of an uproar with the netizens. Some photos from a BigHit employee’s personal phone were leaked.”

“Oh really?” she responded, acting surprised. Wow, she was surprisingly good at putting on an act. “I’m sorry, but I’m not from PR. Maybe you have the wrong staff?”

“No, I definitely have the right staff,” he assured her. “Miss Son, did you know that we have a strict policy against workplace harassment and bullying? And we also don’t tolerate theft. It’s also in the employment contract that leaking sensitive and personal information regarding BigHit activities or its employees is strictly forbidden. All three of these acts are grounds for immediate termination.”

“You tell her, Bang,” Jin quietly cheered.

“I’m sorry, I’m not quite understanding how this has anything to do with me,” she replied, still playing the innocent card.

“Miss Son, did you take another BigHit employee’s personal belongings this morning?” he asked. “Specifically, a cell phone.”

She pretended to be confused. “Of course not, sir. Why would I do that?”

We could hear Bang PD sigh. It seemed like he was tired of being patient with her act. “Son Haewon-shi, I don’t appreciate lies.” He turned his computer screen to face both of them, also bringing it into our view. He clicked on a file from his desktop, bringing up the security footage from when she stole my phone this morning.

We saw the look on her face as she panicked, probably trying to figure out how to get herself out of this one. But we all knew there was no getting out.

“Why would you enter someone else’s office,” Bang PD asked, “one you had no business entering? And you’re very obviously holding (Y/n)’s phone in your hand. I’d appreciate it if you returned it to me. Right now please, Haewon-shi.”

“I wanted to talk to her, and saw her in the room so I opened the door,” she tried as an excuse. “But she was asleep, so I left shortly after. That phone in my hands is my own.”

“Wow, she has quite some nerve,” Namjoon said as some of the others scoffed or muttered under their breath at the ridiculous excuse.

“Okay, we can play this game,” Bang PD said, clearly fed up with her. He opened up another file on his computer. I instantly recognized it. It was a combination of three security cameras, the first showing me and Yoongi around a corner before walking into a hallway. And then it switched to the second camera which showed Haewon and her coworker walking towards me before pouring her coffee on my arm. And a few moments later, after I turned another corner and they had walked away, it switched to the third camera to show me in pain and Yoongi quickly wrapping his jacket around me and leading me away to treat the burn.

I heard various reactions from the boys to the clip, everyone displeased with seeing the event take place. While they all knew it happened, the rest hadn’t witnessed the scene so it seemed to be hard for them to watch.

“That was an accident, sir,” Haewon quickly defended.

Jimin scoffed. “She was so obvious. It didn’t even look like an accident. She literally tipped it over and spilled the whole thing on you. What a-“

“Language,” Jin said quickly before Jimin could get the word out.

While Jimin spoke, Bang PD had said something to a similar affect as him (although in a calmer, more professional manner) on the other side of the call. Then he pulled up another file. This time, it was in the main lobby when I had chased after Taehyung.

“How the heck did he find this one?” I asked. “I couldn’t even remember what date it was.”

We watched as Tae defended me against her attempt at causing trouble before grabbing my hand and leading me out of the building.

“Wow, you look so cool, hyung!” Jungkook admired.

Tae flashed him a smile as he linked his arm through mine.

“I’m sorry sir, but what is this one proving?” Haewon asked. “It looked like something was wrong, so I asked if I could help.”

“Except that you had a smile on your face before approaching them, not a look of concern. And you obviously said something to make Taehyung feel defensive,” PD-nim said. “Not to mention the look on your face as you watched them walk away is tell-tale to your dislike of (Y/n).”

Haewon sat back in her seat, crossing her arms. Her façade was quickly fading.

“And let’s not forget,” PD-nim said as he played the last clip, from the cafeteria.

“I already told you about this one,” Haewon defended.

“But you told me a completely different story than what both the footage and (Y/n) and Hoseok’s accounts do. You approached her, and based on what I see, it looks like you’re the one who’s bothering her. When you came to me, you told me she was harassing you, but you couldn’t go into detail. (Y/n) and Hoseok both explained the conversation in detail and it perfectly matched with what I see here.”

Haewon didn’t have any more defenses, and we could see how irritated she was.

“Yes! Go in for the kill, PD-nim!” Hoseok cheered.

“So, multiple accounts of workplace bullying, theft of another employee’s personal belongings, and leaking personal information of said employee that could have potentially caused damage to the company,” Bang PD summarized all the counts against her. “Do you still want to claim you are innocent?”

Haewon rolls her eyes. “Fine. I bothered her a bit. But she’s so arrogant and annoying. She isn’t even good at her own job and thinks she can do other peoples’ jobs for them. She’s a useless child who should go back to where she came from.”

I saw Yoongi stand up abruptly, starting to head towards the door. I quickly followed, stepping in front of him just before he reached the handle. “Yoongi, calm down.”

“How can I be calm?” Yoongi practically yelled. “How can you be calm after hearing her talk about you like that? I’m sick of her thinking she can just walk all over you and insult you without any consequences!”

“She is getting her consequences, Yoongi,” I said as I placed my hands on his shoulders to try to calm him down.

“By getting fired,” he retorted. “What exactly is that going to do?”

“Yoongi, please,” I said as I held his gaze with my own. “I know you’re angry. But it’s not your fight, it’s mine. And I’m choosing to let the consequences that Bang PD is dealing suffice as her payment. That’s enough for me.”

He looked away, letting out a huff as he calmed down. I took hold of his hands with my own to lead him back toward everyone else. They remained on the floor, but it seemed their full attention had turned to us. I also noticed it seemed that the call had ended.

“What did we miss?” I asked as we sat back down.

“Basically just PD-nim saying she’s fired, needed to give your phone back, and that if she saved anything from your phone on an outside device it has to be immediately deleted and never ever show up anywhere unless she wants to be sued,” Taehyung explained without taking a breath.

“Oh, okay then,” I said chuckling.

“That was amazing!” Namjoon exclaimed.

“Oh my gosh, the look on her face when it changed from ‘I’m innocent’ to ‘Oh no I’m screwed’ was so hilarious!” Jimin said.

As they continued to be ecstatic over the events that just occurred, PD-nim entered the room, holding my phone. “You might want to change your password to something that isn’t so obvious, (Y/n)-shi. Even I guessed it on the first try.”

I chuckled nervously as I took my phone from him.

“What is your password, noona?” Namjoon asked.

“1306,” I said.

“What’s even the point of using a password if it’s going to be so obvious, (Y/n)?” Jin asked as he laughed.

“Well, I’m just glad this is over now,” Yoongi said. “No more Haewon causing you trouble or bothering you.”

“Thank you, Bang PD-nim,” I said as I bowed deeply. “I appreciate all your help and your understanding.”

I saw him smiling as I straightened up. He reached out to place a hand on my shoulder. “If you ever need anything, and I mean anything, never hesitate to let me know. You’re a part of our family and I’ll always be here for you.”

A/N - I just wanted to say that it really is not okay to say things like the offensive comments portrayed in this chapter. People can be quick to judge, and with the internet and a computer in between it can be easy to forget that on the other side that is another person, and you may not have all the proper information of the situation. Of course, everyone is allowed to have their own opinions but if they’re unkind then do they really need to be said? Just a general PSA to not be a prick :)

Series Masterlist

Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20

Tags: @calling-dips-on-j-hope​ @misohime​ @netflix-batman-sleep​ @smallbaby-cat​ @leitholdwithlove​ @ramyagovindraj​ @leesalts​ @rjsmochii​

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[nct-perrie]

The Choice - Part 1 The News

Summary: Perrie gets devastating news about her mother and grandmother. When she goes back to France, Perrie finally has time to think about what she wants in the future. Will it be to leave SM and stay home or will she go back?

Warnings: Mention of family death, mention of domestic and verbal abuse, negative thoughts, insecurities, personality disorder, implied eating disorder, implied depression, and anxiety. 

MCountdown studio, NCT 127 dressing room, March 3rd, 2018, 7:37am

Perrie was sat in the makeup chair, her stylist re-applying eyeliner to her eyes. Perrie figured it wasn’t easy for her stylist considering the fact that her head kept swaying side to side as a result of her tiredness from earlier rehearsals. On her sides, she could hear some laugher from her members and some snoring from others. 

They had to go on stage in about two and half hours but they had just finished pre-rehearsal and after that, exhaustion had hit Perrie at full force. However, she pushed through it in order to re-watch the rehearsal.

While many idols rewatched their performances, Perrie did it almost obsessively. Not because she thought she was good but because she needed to do better. Anytime she watched herself all she could see were her mistakes and where she could do better. To her, her expressions weren’t good enough, her moves weren’t smooth enough, her voice sounded odd, and many other things. All of these things ended up frustrating Perrie to no end. 

Being in NCT was a dream to Perrie, especially in the beginning. But, she didn’t realize just how hard people would come after her in every aspect of her life. Whether it was about her performance or just her regular off stage self. People just found anything to criticize. These thoughts kept her up all night, her mind running non-stop on what she could do to improve. It wasn’t the healthiest, Perrie knew that in the back of her mind, but she didn’t care. 

Even with these feelings, Perrie kept them to herself. She didn’t want to bother the people around her with her insecurities, no matter how bad they got. In her mind, they were her problem and she shouldn’t burden those around her with her problems. This mindset was drilled into her by a young age without her fully realizing it. 

However, despite her thinking this, she tends to forget just how well her members knew her. They knew it wasn’t easy being the only female in a male-dominated group and that people watched her every move just to point something negative out. It was like that with every idol, but seemed to be even worse for her. They also knew that it was affecting her more than she was letting on. She barely slept, had to be reminded to eat and sometimes the members had to watch her eat just to make sure she wasn’t lying and was actually consuming the food. Other times, she would spend hours in the studio, dancing herself ragged until someone - usually Johnny or Yuta - would have to drag her home. 

They would try to talk to her about it, but Perrie would either get very defensive or she would just brush it off and say she was fine. Other times, if they kept pushing, she would get overwhelmed and it would lead to her completely shutting down or going into a full blown panic attack. Therefore, they tried to help her as much as possible without being obvious. 

Now as Perrie was watching the rehearsal for the fourth time - or was it the fifth, Perrie had lost count - she was able to point out another mistake. She didn’t stop watching, until the phone was ripped out of her hands. 

“Yah, what are you doing?” Perrie turned her head around to face the culprit who was none other than Doyoung. 

“Yah? Is that the way to talk to someone who saved you your favorite sandwich?” Doyoung did in fact, in his hands, have a ham and cheese sandwich that he was holding out to her. 

Even with the food in front of her, she held her gaze on him. Her eyes glaring holes into his. Doyoung however, didn’t let up and basically forced the sandwich into her hands. 

“I’m not - “ Perrie started to speaking but Doyoung beat her to it. 

“Not hungry? You haven’t eaten at all today and barely ate anything yesterday.”

Doyoung noticed Perrie was about to interrupt him and quickly start to talk again. 

“You look lethargic okay. You need to eat something and before you say that you shouldn’t eat before going on stage. We still have two hours for it to settle - which it will. So eat.” 

Doyoung wasn’t lying either when he said she looked lethargic. Even with the makeup on, she still looked unnaturally pale, her eye bags still stood out, and she just looked completely exhausted. 

Perrie let out a sigh and glanced down at the food in her hand. Despite wanting to keep insisting she wasn’t hungry, her stomach made it very obvious once it let out a growl loud enough for both of them to hear. This lead to Doyoung raising an eyebrow and motion towards to sandwich. 

Perrie finally relented and started to unwrap the sandwich. She was thinking of eating a few bites and then throwing out the rest but Doyoung had pulled up a chair next to her and sat down, refusing to move until she finished it. 

Honestly speaking, Perrie understood why they did this, but it still pissed her off because it made her feel like a child who couldn’t take care of herself. If she didn’t want to eat the whole thing, she shouldn’t have to. That was what she thought. 

But with him right by her side, she slowly ate the whole thing piece by piece. Once she finished, Doyoung took the wrapped and patted her head. He then left and Perrie let her face drop. Even with that small sandwich, her stomach already started to act weird and she was starting to feel nauseous. Part of her just wanted to throw up because she knew that feeling would go away then but she decided just to sit there and hope that the feeling passes before she has to go on stage. 

It took about an hour of her just sitting there, for her queasiness to go away for the most part. By then, she had about another hour or so before heading to the stage. 

Perrie had moved to one of the couches in the waiting room and was going through her phone, which she had to basically beg Doyoung for it back and the only reason he gave it back was if she promised not to watch the pre-rehearsal again. So instead, she was going through social media. Usually she would play games with Haechan and Jungwoo but right now she just did not feel the need to interact with anyone - even her closest friends. 

While scrolling through her phone, their manager had entered the room with a somber expression on his face. He headed towards Perrie and asked for her to follow him. This was a bit odd because usually he spoke to all the members at once, but it wasn’t a huge difference that had the members noticing something was really wrong.

 Her manager had led her out to a private section in the hallway. She didn’t think much of it at first until she caught the solemn expression on his face. His eyes held a mixture of grief and pity. 

“Perrie, your grandfather called,” Was how he began and Perrie immediately became worried thinking something happened to him. 

“What? Why? Is he okay?”

Her manager just shook his head. 

“Your grandfather is fine, he called me to inform you about your mother and grandmother.” 

There was an instant dread that filled her. She knew her grandmother was battling cancer so her first thought was that something serious had happened. This was correct, but for the wrong reasons. 

Her manager continued. “There was an accident. Your grandmother didn’t make it and your mother,” he had to clear his throat. “your mother is in bad condition at the hospital. From what your grandfather told me, they aren’t sure she is going to last long.” 

Perrie remained silent. In a way, she heard what he said, but she couldn’t process it. It felt like it flowed into one ear than out the other. She could physically see her manager looking at her waiting for her to say something, but she couldn’t formulate an answer. 

Instead of focusing on her emotions, she pushed the more negative ones in the back so that she could at least try and get some words out. 

“Did.. did my grandfather say anything else?” Her words came out monotoned and Perrie felt like she was in a daze. 

Her manager nodded. “He said he’s looking for a ticket back to France for the two of you...” Her manager had stopped talking but Perrie could tell there was something lingering on the tip of his tongue. 

“but?” Perrie questioned. 

“You’re performance is in less than an hour -” 

Her manager kept a firm look on her face in order to catch any changes but there were none. 

“ - There isn’t any time to fix everything. We have to be one stage in about 35 minutes and we cannot change the choreography or give your parts to someone else. At least not without prerecording backup vocals.” 

Perrie knew she should be pissed that they were forcing her to perform but honestly, she didn’t really feel anything at that moment. In the end, all she did was nod. 

“After the performance, we can get you a ride to your grandfather and figure out what your schedule will be afterwards. But, just get through this next half an hour, okay?” 

Again, Perrie just nodded.

Her manager seemed to since she wanted to be alone so he rested a hand on her shoulder and then went to pass. Before he left, Perrie reached out for him. 

“Don’t tell the others. At least not now.”

In all honesty, Perrie knew she should lean on those who would support her. But all she can think about is the pity and the looks she would receive and that was the last thing she wanted to deal with. Getting those looks and words of comfort would make it feel real to Perrie and she didn’t want to feel those things - at least not yet. 

The next 30 minutes, Perrie didn’t even realize they passed. The whole time all she did was stand in the hallways and then the next moment she was being ushered to the stage where she was getting her mic pack put on. The stylist was also going around and touching up everyone’s makeup. 

“Are you okay? Your eyes are a bit red?” Her stylist was the one to bring her attention back to the present. 

Perrie just let out a hum and then turned and looked at the small mirror the stylist was holding up. Her eyes were in fact red and Perrie didn’t realize that this entire time she was holding back tears until she saw them gloss up. 

However, instead of crying, she forced these feelings down and just walked away. It wasn’t a nice thing to do but she wasn’t thinking about that, all she was thinking about was getting through these next few minutes and then going to her grandfather. More than anything, he was the only one Perrie wanted to be around right now. 

After the countdown to the performance ended, Perrie was the first one off the stage. She didn’t stop to talk to the other members like she usually did. All she did was head straight to her manager so that she could get away from this place and go to where she was actually needed. 

The whole time she was on stage, she was wishing she was anywhere else. Even though no one except a few of people knew about what happened, she felt like all the eyes on her were filled with pity. 

Before she could get to her manager a staff member stopped her. If she was thinking straight, she would have realized that he was just stopping her in order to get her mic and mic pack but during that moment all Perrie could see was someone in her way and someone who was stopping her from being where she needed to be. 

Perrie didn’t mean to snap at the person nor did she mean to basically toss the mic headset at the poor guy, but like previously stated, she did not care about any of this and she wasn’t thinking straight. She didn’t even hear Johnny call for her or his apology on her behalf to the staff member. 

Before anyone else could stop her or try and talk to her, she managed to make it away from where the majority of everyone was. She found her manager and instead of him saying anything to her, he just motioned for her to follow him. Perrie realized that the path he was leading her down was to the outside and where all the cars were parked.

On the way down there, when they were finally alone, he had told her that they managed to get a flight booked to France that leaves in about 2 hours. She was going to meet her grandfather at the airport and then they would both leave from there. He made sure to try and keep it as low key as possible to lessen the chance of people spotting them and bombarding them at the airport but they both knew that these precautions will most likely fly out the window once people knew that Perrie was at the airport. 

The next hour to the airport was completely silent. Perrie didn’t do anything except look outside the window. About five minutes into the car ride, her phone started going off and instead of looking at whoever was messaging her, she just shut it off. 

When she got to the airport it was relatively quiet. She was given a cap and a mask but they are not a fool proof plan to prevent people from recognizing her. Eventually one person noticed her, then one turned into two, two into three, and so on. In less than 20 minutes, it was on the internet that she was at the airport. By the time the airport started getting crowded, she managed to find her grandfather which was a good thing because he was the only one who was able to prevent her from saying some rude things to the people around them. 

Time wasn’t something that was apparent to Perrie, everything seemed to have stopped the second she got the message earlier this morning. The next thing she knew was that her grandfather was ushering her into the seat next to him on the plane and he had sat down next to her. 

[its-jijii]

bsd character traits

howdy. idk how to start this. okay recently have been analyzing characters and,, i realized that most characters in bsd have traits (mainly one) that are blown rlly out of proportion. no spoilers below the cut i just don’t want to spam dashboards with longass posts 😩

so. a lot of bsd characters can be incredibly simplified and easy to explain. most characters that i can think of have a certain personality trait or something that makes up a lot of their character? for instance, i can say some of these traits and you’d be able to point to a certain character. childish and arrogant. happy and optimistic. obsessive and stalkerish.

ranpo, kenji, and higuchi. it’s like that for most characters, though. most of these traits are normal, or their causes are normal (such as higuchi’s “obsessive” behavior likely being a result of some mix of anxiety and idolization). anxiety and idolizing is okay and normal and moderation, but those traits are combined and amplified, which makes up a large portion of higuchi’s characterization. being optimistic is pretty normal,,, but kenji’s character is centered around being incredibly happy.

now this isn’t to say that this is a flaw in character design, or that it makes characters flat or boring. rather, i think it’s a pretty neat and interesting writing on asagiri’s part. y'know that post that’s like “if you can recognize a character by their outline, you know that it’s a good character design” or something like that,, yeah i think it's kinda like that but in writing instead of drawing? if you can write down a list of traits and think of certain bsd characters, then you’ve got a lot of the character covered already.

that isn’t to say that these traits are all that a character is, but mainly how they’re characterized and viewed. of course there is more to these characters, but if you were trying to summarize something, it’s very easy to simplify things to those traits. i think of this kind of like taking a character at face value. 

looking at a character’s dominant trait(s) and mainly associating that with them seems like taking their (entire) character at face value. and i don’t think that’s necessarily always a bad thing! but i think it’s also important to look past those fronting traits and see smaller parts of the character, or the reason characters are that way. looking past dazai’s intense suicidal character and secrecy, you find that he can be manipulative. looking past alcott’s intense anxiety, you’ll see that she is actually very intelligent and capable, but those traits are mainly covered up by her “face value” trait.

then, there’s the matter of how strange or abnormal these traits are. honestly at first, tanizaki or kenji didn’t stand out as “extreme” anything,,, that i think is bc asagiri does a good job at making some things subtle and weave perfectly into their character. some stuff, like akutagawa’s intense desire for approval and determination, can’t really be missed. tanizaki may seem like an all over kind of moderate character, but i think that it just happens to be that his “extremes” are more normalized or hidden.

for instance, tanizaki seems pretty anxious. mainly noticed this in his first appearance where he was pretending to be a bomber- bouncing his leg, apologizing thoroughly afterwards and making sure atsushi was okay, etc. seemed like he was having some anxieties over the matter. this stuff is pretty normal given the situation, and in smaller amounts is normal. the situation definitely made those actions seem more situational and less like a part of tanizaki’s character.

there’s also tanizaki’s hidden extreme, which is his obsession and protectiveness of his sister (which i also wrote about a bit). again, loving and being protective of someone, especially a sibling, is pretty normal. but with bsd, it seems like these normal traits are just,, blown out of proportion? suddenly they’re very intense, very extreme, and you tend to associate those traits with the character afterwards.

kenji’s “extreme” would be his optimism and happiness, which again doesn’t seem like an extreme, likely cause it isn’t bad. unlike negative traits like possessiveness or being gloomy, happiness when amplified doesn’t stand out that much. extreme possessiveness or antisocial behavior definitely stands out more. kenji’s happiness is simply a part of his character, and it seems like it's more like “him” than an attribute he has. he doesn’t have happiness, he is happy. really fuckin happy. kind of alarmingly happy?? i’m scared of him but that’s for another post.

anyway uhhh now that i’ve kinda talked about the traits and why they do or don’t stand out, i’m gonna just. do a list thing. with everyone’s traits. yes. i’m sorry this is gonna be rlly fucking long,, this is everyone’s “extremes” and maybe why. also this order is coming straight off the wiki sorry in advance 🥳 not including smaller side characters (office assistants, elise, and herman melville)

ada

atsushi - he’s kind of complicated but atsushi seems like a mix of extreme anxiety, desire to prove himself/do good, and babey. he’s absolute babey. most of this is due to past abuse in the orphanage. some of his smaller traits include fear of pain/death, bravery, and kindness. sometimes these traits contradict each other which is why i say he’s complicated. while afraid of pain and death, his desire to prove himself pushes him into brave and risky acts. while he is generally kind and he wants to do good for others, that sometimes means being brutally honest or pushy. (see: interactions w/ aku, especially in cannibalism arc)

dazai - extremely suicidal and fake (fake happiness/outgoingness). mainly, though, is his over the top suicidal ideation. he is incredibly suicidal, and if asked to point out the most suicidal character in bsd, there’s a very clear answer: the suicide maniac. dazai is also one of the incredible geniuses in the series, which surfaces quite often. some of his smaller traits that i said earlier would be that he’s manipulative, a liar, and insensitive. personally i think these are some of his most intense traits, but it also seems like he’s one of the characters taken at “face value”, with these other traits overlooked due to his excessive suicidal ideation/being eccentric. i could ramble more but i will save my dazai shit-talking for my other analysis. oh and i say that his faking expressions is different from lying. one is purposefully being deceitful for personal gain, where faking an emotion/reaction is simply to hide one’s true feelings.

kunikida - extremely strict and idealistic. heavily imposes his standards on not just himself, but everyone around him. can make him easily angered. some of his less evident traits are fear of failure and sadness over not being able to save people. his fear of failure can be hidden by his strict and confident nature. he also tends to act very neutral and unaffected when discussing past failures (usually people dying), which gives off an uncaring attitude. contrary to that, though, kunikida cares a lot! while it’s somewhat unclear as to why kunikida is so set on his morals, it may be his way of dealing with perfectionism issues and fear of doing things incorrectly. if all that is supposed to be done and all of his beliefs are written in his notebook, it is easier to stay to a strict schedule.

ranpo - childish and arrogant. i could leave it at that because that's 90% of him but i won’t. ranpo’s inflated ego was likely born from some kind of entitlement (im sorry that sounds mean let me make amends). with him being a great detective and the ADA being founded for him likely contributed to him having a great feeling of importance and intelligence. honestly that’s understandable though, he is a respectable genius. underneath those domineering traits are strong desires for praise, to fit in, and some motivation issues. ranpo really wants to believe that he is gifted, as he would feel like the odd one out if he didn’t have one. he will do anything for fukuzawa’s praise, which is probably linked to some childhood issues. lastly, his motivation- it’s connected to his tendency to find everything boring, and if something is boring, it isn’t worth his time.

yosano - sadistic and dominant. this sounds like weird bedroom shit but i swear it isn’t. mainly, the sadism comes to light when she’s using her ability or when she’s fighting- both which include her using weapons on other people. her domineering personality is also not always evident, as she is able to talk with a calm front if the situation needs it, mainly in civilized ADA meetings. otherwise, yosano will get intense and competitive, with an underlying desire to win. to some degree i think this aggression comes from wanting to stay in her position in life- she worked to get there, and she won’t back down from anything that may challenge or disrupt that.

kenji - overly happy and trustworthy. this is pretty clear from looking at him, but again doesn’t stand out that much,, it’s an extreme, but it’s an extreme feeling rather than mindset/goal. his happiness also doesn’t hurt anyone, so it’s less noticeable when he’s working with others- it often won’t affect them, aside from perhaps encouraging them or cheering them up. kenji is also, as we have seen, too trusting. he believes that trusting others is a good thing that will always lead to a good outcome. since this is an extreme belief rather than a feeling, it’s projected on his surroundings a bit more. i can’t explain any of his underlying traits or causes as we don’t know a ton about him :<

fukuzawa - kinda tough to say, but i guess extremely calm and protective? i wanted to say emotionless but he definitely has emotions, he just conceals them very well. rather, he tends to stay calm in almost every situation, no matter how bad it looks. he is also very protective of the detective agency and yokohama as a whole. underneath the mask, fukuzawa is caring- he literally never shows it, but i’ve never seen him scold someone, get mad, or punish someone (except post-cannibalism, but that wasn’t bad). he often looks angry but isn’t really, nor is he super strict. his past is still a bit too unknown for me to guess at why he’s like this.

tanizaki - extremely..... protective......... i just wrote about this ik but yeah uh. tanizaki is protective to the point it’s scary and he’s a danger to others. aside from that, tanizaki often seems very anxious, though he’s usually quite subtle about it. like i said earlier, it usually blends into the situation- if he’s in danger, of course he’s anxious. but, it seems that even when the danger has passed, he has lingering worries about whatever just occurred (getting scared at the mention of yosano’s treatment, desperately trying to find a way around punishment for disobeying fukuzawa). i feel like there’s more but my mind is blanking sorry y’all 😰

kyouka - emotionless? again she definitely has emotions, but similar to fukuzawa, rarely ever shows them. mainly what i mean by this is that she has a very underwhelming reaction to everything. if in danger, she won’t hesitate to do whatever, even if it’s violent, all without an expression. when bad stuff happens, she also doesn’t react much, unless atsushi is in danger or smth. one underlying extreme fear she has is being “evil” i guess? or just fearing the mafia. she absolutely doesn’t want to go back to the mafia, would rather die than kill again, and often has openly fearful reactions when faced with mafia members. her lack of fear and blank expression is probably a result of being desensitized to violence and also bad trauma from the mafia B(

katai - tired and isolated. seeing as how katai literally works from his futon, it’s safe to say that he enjoys sleeping and to some degree is lazy. he doesn’t really do anything, which also is a part of his isolation. i wouldn’t say antisocial behaviors since he isn’t aggressive, but basically he avoids social interactions like the plague. he never leaves his house, is horrible at talking to people, and is completely fine being cooped up in a small space for a week with no human contact. i’m sure people enjoy their alone time and sitting in bed.... but uhhhh....... yeah literally living in bed for a week with the only human contact being having take out dropped off? kinda extreme. his less evident trait goes hand in hand with social isolation- anxiety, or more specifically, social anxiety. what we mainly see of katai is during the small pre-cannibalism arc, which also shows his social anxiety. had the chapter not included going outside and interacting with girls, it would likely be unnoticeable. he is comfortable at home and doesn’t have that much of an issue with facing people and talking to them. however, he was very awkward in his interactions with higuchi (talking to her and pointing another way), as well as not knowing how to confess his love for gin.

pm

akutagawa - i’m so sorry in advance, akutagawa’s is rlly long bc he is kinda just. extreme. so uh, desire to get praise/prove himself, and few but extreme emotions. akutagawa’s most defining trait is his obsession with being acknowledged by dazai. unfortunately, it doesn’t end there- his very character extreme, a constant black and white fluctuation with no gray in between. there isn’t much of a spectrum with him, as it will be all or nothing. this applies to his view of others, view on the world, himself, his emotions, and actions. 

his emotions have been stated to be none at all, or intense anger/hatred and deep respect. his view of others seems to also be on opposite ends of the spectrum. either he likes them & respects them deeply, or he despises them. i can’t think of anyone who is in a neutral zone with him,, maybe he’s indifferent about some people, but i believe the majority of people fall into those two categories. then there are his actions, which are overly brutal even in the mafia. he uses excessive force and slaughter, aiming for flashy crimes to get dazai’s attention.

his view on the world doesn’t fluctuate as much, instead seeming to be fixated in one view- the world is cruel and harsh, and there are weak people and strong people. to him, the natural order of things is that the weak must die to make way for the strong. he also applies himself to a similar belief- either he is stronger, better, and more capable than everyone else, or he is weak, a failure, and would rather die than face defeat. extreme! 

mori - lack of impulse control and being an organized mess. by organized mess i mean that he thinks a lot, is smart, and leads the mafia,, buut he also seems not the best at some tasks (darts. professionalism. being a doctor?? didn’t he lose his medical license?) mori’s bad impulse control can be tied into his disarray kinda. this is hard to word but it’s kind of like when he’s presented with an issue, he immediately and casually defaults onto an extreme solution (three way war? okay let’s kill the president of the ada!) while i’m sure these things have been thought out beforehand, it’s his sheer wack presentation of things that make him look immature, irresponsible, and kinda bad at his job. 

chuuya - loyalty and irritability/aggression. while i do not believe we have seen the extent of his loyalty, it is worth noting that even after four years he trusts dazai with his life, despite dazai being a dishonest and irresponsible bastard. not trustworthy imo, but chuuya’s lingering feelings of loyalty do hold out. though not full trust and likely expecting something to go wrong, he still ends up trusting dazai. otherwise, chuuya is shown to be very loyal to the mafia, going measures to make sure dazai wouldn’t frame him to get kicked out. then there’s his irritability and aggression,, he’s shown to easily get angry and start fights with little provocation. some underlying(?) traits are his confidence (and sometimes arrogance), and his uhh,, diplomatic abilities?? idk what to call it, but if needed, he will calm down and focus to talk things out and make deals. most of these traits i believe can be linked to his old gang and possibly how they treated him due to his status as a powerful ability user. some of these also don’t seem extreme- he’s not extremely diplomatic, after all. buut these traits strongly contrast each other to make the switch more evident and dramatic.

higuchi - obsessive and stalkerish behaviors. personally i believe that this behaviors are rooted in a mixture of anxiety, loyalty, and idolization. i don’t know that higuchi has explained her infatuation with akutagawa, but it’s likely that she just admires him a lot. she also is shown to have a crush on him, which leads to the ideas that she’s obsessive and stalkerish. while i don’t deny those behaviors, i think that they’re mainly loyalty and anxiety dependent on idolization- except blown out of proportion and so extreme that she seems like a stalker. as she is loyal and deeply respects akutagawa, she also cares for him and his well-being considerably, as shown by the many times she interjects when his health is at risk. she is very, very anxious about his health, which likely is the cause for some of her obsessive behaviors (following him everywhere, trying to assist him constantly even when he says no, risking her life for him, etc). however, some isn’t all, so some of her stalkerish behaviors are genuinely rooted in a crush. but again it seems like this crush is just rlly fuckin extreme which is why she’s so persistent and radical in her attempts to help him/win him over.

kajii - curiosity. idk that this one needs a lot of explaining? his main focuses of curiosity are of god and science, but alone i don’t believe those things are extreme obsessions- he isn’t shown to praise god religiously (haha) like a certain someone, and obsession with science is already a kind of fixation on learning and curiosity, even outside of bsd. the entire concept of science is the study of the unknown. curiosity is a necessity if you are to be interested in science; its basis is observing, creating hypotheses, designing experiments, and then testing said hypotheses several times before compiling results and data into a conclusion. kajii’s fascination with experimenting is rooted in his desire to observe what happens, gather results, and learn from the experience. he is inherently curious about many things, but yes, most notably science and god. as for why..... no clue tbh.

kouyou - it’s kind of a control thing, whether it be with controlling/leading people, or being in control of tasks/responsibilities. there’s also a protective nature displayed, most notably of kyouka. in that sense, kouyou demands an amount of control over people and situations to execute action. her appearance also gives the impression that she is very specific and selective with her attire and how she presents herself- choices she has made, not mandated by anyone else. kouyou holds the position of one of the mafia’s five executives, and there’s nothing really to suggest that she is a bad leader or that she abuses her power. 

while sometimes misguided and blinded by her own experiences, kouyou’s intentions are often to protect, help, and teach, which are not bad at all. her execution of these could be worked on, but at heart she is trying to do good. currently this intense protective nature is fixed on kyouka, though it is alluded that there may have been a somewhat similar relationship with chuuya. as for why she is this way, she has already explained it with her past relationship in which her lover was killed while trying to escape with her. she doesn’t want that to happen again to those she loves.

q - he’s a mix of stuff, but mainly intense switches in mood/mindset and chaos. there’s also an underlying desire to be loved and to be not used, or “cursed”. q holds the belief that his ability is a curse that he never asked for (understandably), and has expressed that he wishes that he wasn’t forced to use his ability. paired with this wish to not be used is his wish for love- while never explicitly stated by him, he reacted very badly to being told that god is real but doesn’t love him. however, he probably wishes for more than just god’s love. q’s intense loneliness and wishing for someone to care for him can likely be attributed to the fact that he is only 14, has no friends, and seemingly spends all of his time locked up somewhere in the port mafia dungeons because he’s too dangerous. 

on the more evident side, q has extreme mood switches; he can bounce back and forth in between not wanting to hurt anyone or use his ability and then hating everyone and cursing everyone. his expression of these emotions are usually extreme, too- crying, sobbing, and begging can morph quickly into screaming, howling, and cursing others. these mood swings and hatred for others can also be attributed to his status in the mafia. it’s only natural for him to hate people when he only sees himself being used. his ability also is on the extreme side. both in what it is (mind control) and how it’s triggered (someone hurting him) speaks lengths of exactly how extreme his ability is. another smaller extreme that just occurred to me is his pain tolerance. he can be seen joyously causing intense injuries to himself which indicates that smaller and self-inflicted injuries are completely manageable for him.

oda - oda is weirdly like the opposite of what this post is about. there’s nothing really extreme about oda, unless you want to say he’s extremely bland? (i’m sorry hear me out) the entire thing with oda is his lack of emotions or opinions, and while i’m certain he has them, he very rarely expresses them. fun fact but he literally never smiled the entire dark era?? even with the kids 😭 okay but other than his extreme... lack of expressing feelings and opinions.. i think he’s very protective/concerned for others. he of course cares extremely about the orphans in his care, and he also cares for ango and dazai. i think that it can be said that oda’s main extreme is his fucking uh,, adopting orphan children. cause if i’m not mistaken he adopts like 15 kids in beast. he’s a serial orphan adopter. as for why, i don’t rlly know. i can guess that his stoic nature is some mix of trust issues and desensitized reactions to death/killing. under all that he’s strongly dedicated to his goals and future (caring for the kids and writing his novel).

hirotsu - honestly. not sure. he’s actually not that extreme. but, to me, his “face value” traits would be that he’s uptight and overly dedicated to tasks, though not to the extent that kunikida is. he was shown to harp on tachihara for being a few minutes late, killed an entire warehouse of people for stealing from the mafia, and tended to take successfully playing dazai’s video game a bit too serious, as he very formally apologized to dazai for his failure. he also seems to be dedicated to the task of supporting yokohama as best as he can, as he stays loyal and productive in the mafia even at his age. i would say that he’s loyal for staying that long (and he is), but he’s not extremely loyal, as he is shown doing random favors for dazai. however, these favors are usually to help support yokohama, so i guess he’s extremely..... uh supportive and trusting?? idk man hirotsu is just not that intense. intensely mysterious and cryptic maybe.

gin - though not exactly a character trait, gin is selectively mute. selective mutism, though normally a childhood anxiety disorder, can persist in late teens and adulthood. most likely, gin is mute by choice- and selective mutism is on the more severe end of the anxiety spectrum. while normal anxiety could cause someone to be shy, anxiety around others that’s so intense that the person can’t speak? yeah. there are, of course, other causes, but based on her interactions with others, it can be inferred that she chooses to stay silent out of fear or anxiety. she is capable of talking in select situations, and she can talk normally to some people. otherwise, she stays silent mostly, which makes her most outstanding trait her muteness. otherwise we haven’t seen enough to say if she has any other extremes. i also don’t have a definitive reason for why she’s mute.

tachihara - tachihara is another character with not many extreme aspects. what stands out most to me is probably his punk and carefree attitude. while he does easily get angry and violent, he can be just as quick to dismiss it if the situation calls for it. he is shown to be a bit more relaxed than his fellow mafia members, and he seems more into having fun with his job than being proper about things. his appearance also gives off vibes of a punk kid with an attitude, probably a mixture of kinda-spiky light hair, loose shirt, and weird fluffy cropped jacket. his attitude and appearance screams laid back to me. plus he dual wields in a weirdly casual way? he doesn’t have two guns to make his shots count and take on more enemies, he has two guns because he’s trigger happy and doesn’t care how bad his aim is. with two guns you don’t need good aim, you’ll eventually hit your target 😎 not enough known about him to say why he’s like this.

ace - not a lot is known about him since he existed for like two chapters BUT. ace is shown to be very greedy and ambitious. he frequently lies and plots to backstab others. if he’s an “extreme” anything, he’s an extreme snake, liar, and manipulative bastard.  he also has extremely slimy vibes but that’s probably just me associating all liars and manipulators into super slimy feels. as for why,, yeah no idea? he’s just extremely greedy and willing to step on whoever to get what he wants. that seems to be it though.

the guild

fitzgerald - extreme greed and determination. fitzgerald, while already wealthy, seems to seek more wealth at all times. even if it looks like he is bargaining, offering a large amount of money for something, or even randomly gifting people, he has an ulterior motive. fitzgerald is a businessman and would not strike deals unless they were ultimately profitable for him in the long run. his greed can sometimes be subtle or played off as something “good”, such as when he confronted that one businessman. the businessman admitted to the crime, attempted to pay off fitzgerald into silence, but was backstabbed in the end as fitzgerald provided evidence against him to the court despite the money given. 

another one of fitzgerald’s biggest traits is his persistent and determined nature. he is shown to not give up on his goals, no matter what the cost is. he wants to revive his daughter and help his wife? then he has no issues invading a foreign country, waging a gifted war against their gifted organizations, and willingly cursed ⅕ of yokohama with q’s ability, despite the fact that they were all innocent bystanders. as he stated, he was willing to raze yokohama to the ground to get the book. when defeated, it took a bit to convince him to try again, but once he decided to go for success again, it was almost simple for him to regain his status and wealth.

as for why he is so greedy, that isn’t really touched on or explained. his determination and independence can be chalked up to his “rules of success” or whatever. some of his underlying extremities could be social incompetence/ignorance, which honestly kind of makes up a lot of his character? beneath the absolute rich boy is an absolute ignorant rich boy. he seemed to struggle to understand why nathaniel felt responsible for mitchell. he also talks to alcott very flippantly despite her nervous reactions to him (and frequently ignores her warning to not follow dangerous plans). he doesn’t know what it’s like being poor, seen when he just walked into another person’s room in a hotel, thinking that he also owned that room.

montgomery - extremely playful and eager. the eagerness and playfulness kind of go hand in hand, as she is very excitable and loves to use her ability to mess with people and play games. this is evident in how over the top her speech is and how emphasized her actions are (the creepy big smile, her gesturing & clapping, etc.) her eagerness is mainly focused on winning and catching people in her game. these actions tend to blend into her character more than an intensified trait. an underlying strong desire is her desperation to fit in and have a place to belong, which is tied into her over-eagerness to win and do well. this is a result of her upbringing in an orphanage where she was unwanted. having no place to call home, she has fixated on creating a place where she can stay and fit in with others; particularly with other ability users, as she was outcast for having an ability when no one else did. 

steinbeck - though not as extreme as some other traits, steinbeck is above average in attributes like determination and a lack of empathy for strangers. his determination, for lack of a better word, will be used more as an umbrella term for his loyalty, thoroughness, and efficiency in his work. when needed, he will finish tasks assigned quickly and without skipping details. he is good at sticking to plans or an order and does his job well. despite disagreeing with fitzgerald’s ambitions and methods, he stays with the guild and even plans to lead it after its fall. his motivations are also rooted in his love and loyalty to his family. however, his intense thoroughness and determination also seems to lead to decreased empathy for others. he willingly went with the emergency plan, despite his ability causing q to curse ⅕ of innocent civilians in yokohama. he was also ready to sacrifice haruno and naomi for the purpose of fulfilling his mission. an underlying (and not as intense) trait is how laid back and casual he is. despite his jobs being cruel and sacrificing others, he does it easily and with a smile.

lovecraft - very very tired. being tired sometimes is normal if you didn’t sleep well, but lovecraft is constantly exhausted and on the verge of falling asleep. basically every scene with him includes him talking about how tired he is, or how much he wants to sleep. there were also instances of him briefly falling asleep in inappropriate scenes, such as when kunikida shot him and during the fight with dazai and chuuya. after the guild fell and his contract with fitzgerald expired, he immediately jumped into the ocean to sleep. aside from being incredibly tired, lovecraft has a few other feelings (though not as severe): being hungry and feeling anxious. hunger isn’t mentioned as much as being tired, nor is his anxiety; however, lovecraft has expressed that he feels anxious around people, as he never really interacts with them or goes out in public. before he was in japan with steinbeck, he apparently hadn’t been outside in four years. another extreme shut in! a bonus thing that we don’t know much about, but lovecraft seems to be bound to contracts he makes; even if he wants to do something else, he must “fulfill [his] contract”. assuming that he has no choice but to do what the contract requires, once he signs a contract, that’s a very powerful thing going on.

hawthorne - well uh. incredibly religious, and extremely dedicated/loyal. the religious part is arguably the biggest part of his character; he is a pastor, dresses like one, carries around a bible, and uses his rosary to activate his ability (which takes the form of verses from the bible). his purpose in life, and in the guild, is to pass on judgement to sinners and punish them. it is his strongest motivator, and he mainly spends his time speaking to god, reading the bible, and deciding how to use his ability to follow god’s will. all religion related- he’s incredibly dedicated. he is also loyal to margaret mitchell, to the point that it diverted him from god. his desire to save her and help restore her honor was also a big thing for him; eventually, this goal overtook following religion, which is a considerable achievement. i say that it overtook religion because he began working with fyodor in order to help mitchell- that was a mistake, as he currently is brainwashed into following fyodor’s orders without ever thinking on his own. he is no longer using his ability to follow his life’s work and to follow god. more underlying traits of his include arrogance and a lack of expressions. basically, doesn’t express much, though his tone tends to be arrogant a lot of the time. 

mitchell - with much unknown about her and little screen time, it’s a bit difficult to peg any extremes she has; however, she does possess a lot of arrogance that affects several aspects of her life. first and foremost, this arrogance tends to interfere with her relationships. mitchell is quick to start fights over petty things, automatically placing herself above others and asserting it quite forcefully. secondly, her arrogance disrupts how she acts and perceives others. as stated before, she believes herself to be above everyone else. however, beyond simply stating that, mitchell complains about having to do work when she believes that she is above that, too. she thinks that everyone else should be doing the work, and was shown to get angry at hawthorne when he wasn’t giving orders on the ship. another instance of this arrogance is her severely underestimating enemies, and becoming in critical danger as a result. a less noticeable trait is her honor, sort of? though it seems similar to her arrogance and inflated ego, mitchell is obsessed with restoring honor to her family, to the point that she would risk her life for it.

poe - hoo boy. poe has a few extremes: severe social anxiety/isolation, competitiveness, and a self esteem issue (sort of). poe faced ranpo in a battle of wits some time in the past, and when defeated, apparently fell into a deep depression. normally, someone would accept their failure and move on, but poe instead gained a lot of self-doubt and negative emotions. to recover from that fall, he became obsessed with facing off with ranpo again and winning. he is extremely dedicated and competitive, as he prepared to face ranpo again for six fuckin years. he is stated to be reclusive and shy, talking quietly and hiding his face with his hair. his profile says he dislikes noisy crowds and “being invited to a party and ignored by the only person he knows”. in short, he is not one for socializing or being the center of attention.

some of his underlying traits are his mood swings or conflicting feelings about others. though they aren’t super severe, it is worth noting that it happens quite frequently- he was confident when facing ranpo, then switched to a very depressed and sullen mood when ranpo didn’t recognize him. he was happy when he believed he beat ranpo- again, quickly transformed to intense disappointment and feeling of defeat when he realized that he lost. his conflicting feelings of others is mainly evident in his weird relationship with ranpo. he appears excited and overjoyed to watch ranpo use super deduction, but when asked if he was a fan, replied that they were rivals. when he trapped chuuya and ranpo in the book, he laughed in delight at potentially trapping and winning against ranpo in this way. immediately after, he was struck with the possibility of ranpo actually dying in the book, to which he got quiet and a bit scared about.

twain - another character with a lot of arrogance? but also a lot of excited reactions and constantly looking to mess around and have fun. he is shown to be very laid back and casual about his job, not getting disappointed when faced with defeat; rather, he laughs in excitement about someone being talented enough to escape his sniping. most scenes with him include inappropriate bouts of jokes and requests to engage in silly activities. however, he dislikes being ignored or left behind, so he tends to go with the flow anyway. more regarding his arrogance; twain believes his ability and talent to be great. his last appearance includes him commenting on how he is going to go home and finish writing his autobiography. not much is known about him, so it’s unclear why he is significant enough to write a book about. plus, his likes list himself and praise as the first two. a less evident trait of his, referenced in his likes and dislikes, is what he likes to do. sniping, of course, seems to be his favorite- this is likely because he likes adventure (and probably dangerous tasks/jobs), and dislikes plain or boring work. he likely gets bored easily, similar to ranpo, and needs an engaging and interesting task to entertain him.

alcott - most obviously, alcott has severe anxiety, though mainly it’s related to the social aspects of her life. this timidness and fear of talking to others dominates most of her character, and when thinking of alcott, the first thought that comes to mind is “oh, that really anxious and shy tactician.” alcott, for an unknown reason, relies heavily on approval from others, mainly fitzgerald. she has low self esteem, which also contributes to her fear of talking to strangers; she will run and hide if other people confront her. she only seems to feel more comfortable with fitzgerald, her boss, and poe, her fellow shy writer friend. other than her anxiety, alcott is also incredibly intelligent. it’s overshadowed by her “face value” trait, but is still very prominent. her work as a tactician means that she plans, but even her plans are the epitome of intense. using her ability allows her to write packets of potential outcomes to situations she really has no way of predicting. she also writes what to do should certain problems arise, though her cautious nature appears again as she often strongly recommends that fitzgerald does nothing.

the rats/decay of angels

fyodor - fyodor is another kind of tough one, but i’d say that it’s a mix of intelligence and composed attitude. another character with a very limited range of emotions- iirc there was one time he looked surprised, occasionally looks annoyed or confused, sometimes smiles, but mostly has no expression at all. he has dulled reactions to external stimuli, similar to kyouka, and likely hides his reactions or feelings like fukuzawa. one thing that is known, however, is that he is one of the genius characters and that he is constantly plotting and thinking. while he may not react to things happening around them, i am sure he notices them, takes them into account, and sometimes incorporates them into his complex plans. his ability to predict things rivals alcott’s, to the point that he predicts what everyone will do, how to trick them, and how to exploit the mistakes they will make. unlike alcott, his ability does not allow him to maximize his genius and complex plotting; all of his thinking and planning is done in the moment or before his plans are set into action, which is still impressive on its own. as for why he is like this, completely unknown. he also has a god complex, different from kajii and hawthorne’s religious beliefs. not only is his entire motivation to “cleanse the world of sinners” (ability users), but he has called himself god before. his religious beliefs seem to go beyond simply believing in god or following god’s word; no, he is god, and his job is to kill all ability users.

goncharov - goncharov didn’t show up much, but from what we saw of him, his main extreme is his dedication and loyalty. specifically, goncharov is very dedicated to fyodor- he underwent surgery to have “[his] unhappiness removed”, which makes him appear constantly smiling and declaring how happy he became with fyodor’s help. he is almost obsessive in his loyalty to fyodor, calling him “master” and apparently having similar interests (likes classical music, implied to have tea with fyodor, etc.) 

pushkin - again, didn’t show up much, but from what little we saw, he is very ambitious. he found joy in the way his ability was used in the cannibalism arc, stating later on that it was a genius technique and he would find it fun to do it again but with prominent world leaders. ambition is one thing and desiring to cause chaos similar to the cannibalism arc but with world leaders… yeah he must get really bored.

mushitarou - though not quite a character trait, mushitarou is extremely… clean? particular? just by looking at him, you get the impression that he is self absorbed, probably grooms himself a lot (look at his HAIR), and that he is confident. he is also shown to be very demanding, which is where his “particular” thing comes in. he requires everything to be done a certain way, with very specific and high standards. with his ability, he also believes himself to be unbeatable, though this cockiness may have led to him being caught by ranpo. fr if he’s sitting there yelling how he’s gonna get away with it, does he expect to still get away with it?? anyway. i don’t really know why he’s like this or other underlying traits, as our info on him is still pretty limited. i guess he cares about his friend a FUCK TON.

gogol - oh boy. gogol really likes freedom and being a clown. now, being a clown seems like a weird kind of extreme we’re talkin about… but i think that this trait is mainly just emphasized with how outgoing and excitable he is. he dresses like a clown, loves playing weird tricks and games, and frequently gives people “quizzes”. his body language also characterizes him as moving around excessively. overall just a mega clown. then there’s his love of freedom. his recently released character profile states that he dislikes “brainwashing, subordination, being unfree”. all his dislikes are tied into each other and definitely tied into his odd obsession with being free- hell, he even died saying, “this is a prison break! over the innate brainwashing known as morality, i choose the freedom of my soul!” basically, a reality where he must follow what others want is too confining and he would rather die to free his soul than continue living that way. pretty extreme! 

sigma - uh my boy has only existed for like 7 chapters but. we’ll go with he’s extremely secretive and also babey. so, with the secrecy, it’s more like he has very bad amnesia and most information is unknown about him. real name, backstory, age, birthday, weight, height, ability name- none of that is clear, so he is either keeping it secret or doesn’t remember (possibly a combination of both.) from what we have seen of sigma, though, he is very kind and considerate of his customers and other people. he is formal and protective of not only his casino, but those staying at his casino. he has spent a lot of time memorizing everyone’s names and info about them for the sake of maximizing their safety and enjoyment. for being a member of a terrorist organization, sigma is a sweetheart. his kindness and innocence are more traits that blend into his character more, so it isn’t as evidently an “extreme”- but i do want to say that he has extreme memory issues and for being in a terrorist organization, he is incredibly sweet, which seems somewhat out of place.

others

ango - ango is very, very hardworking. another dedicated madlad. in dead apple, ango was shown to have willingly pulled several all nighters writing reports on the incident. when we were first introduced to him in the mafia, he was shown to be going above and beyond with his job; rather than writing a list of the people who died, ango wrote out a biography for each person, basically. he was uptight and against slacking in his job, attempting to refuse dazai and oda’s offer to go drinking, and very against being hugged by them when they stank of death. a bit of a clean freak with how uptight and orderly he was. he held a high ranking position in the mafia as an informant, where he handled much of their sensitive information and deals. his job also required him to work as a triple agent- initially in the special abilities department, then sent to infiltrate the mafia, and then in the mafia was sent to infiltrate mimic to work as a double agent. overall, his job(s) required a lot of him and he gladly overworked himself in all of them.

gide - he’s kinda weirdly obsessed with a specific goal? so less a personality trait or even mindset that is amplified, but a strange goal where he, as the leader of mimic, was determined to lead himself and his men into battle with worthy opponents who could kill them. their sheer determination to fight others with the goal of dying, basically a suicide mission, was what stood out. plus, gide was willing to go to horrifying extremes to provoke oda into fighting him. he believed oda to be the only one capable and worthy enough to kill him in battle, and once he realized oda refused to fight him, kidnapped and killed oda’s orphans, essentially angering oda into fighting and killing hm, also killing oda in the process. so still pretty extreme, but also extremely specific.

shibusawa - shibusawa’s extreme traits are boredom, intelligence, and collecting. intelligence is actually kind of dubious, as we don’t know to what extent his intellect is, but it is implied that he at least believes himself to be a genius and in some way or another, superior to everyone around him. he thinks of everyone else as boring, life as boring, and as such is constantly searching to cure his boredom. this boredom is probably his strongest motivator for most things, such as conducting the dragon’s head conflict. this boredom also might be an influence on his collector tendencies, as i believe they work in tandem in his ability use. bored of everything, he finds it interesting to collect things- his ability allows him to separate ability from ability user, so of course he finds it entertaining to watch people duel their abilities, his reward being another ability gem in his large collection. his collection is massive, and seeing as how all of his gems are from getting ability users to kill themselves with their abilities,,, yikes shibu that’s really intense and hardcore 😰

and with that, i think that’s about the end of this post (thank god). i decided against including the hunting dogs in this, as there is not enough known about them to determine what their extremes are and why. also its 5 am and im kinda lazy :( i wanna say that this post is also kind of like a spectrum. almost every character has a trait/goal/mindset/habit that’s intense and kind of characterizes a lot of the character; but, some characters are less extreme than others, particularly characters that don’t convey a lot of expressions. and like i tried to explain earlier, some traits don’t stand out that much and seem more like they’re a part of the character. not every “extreme” written here is the level of extreme that akutagawa’s obsession is, for instance.

a last note to end on is that i wanna talk about intelligence in bsd. it seems like a pretty all-or-nothing situation for the most part; either a character is of average intelligence or they’re a fucking genius. now, most “average” characters are still witty, innovative, and capable of basic detective skills, but there is still a large difference in say, kenji and fyodor. both are pretty dangerous and extreme in their own aspects, but in terms of intelligence, fyodor has kenji far outmatched. i’m gonna rank the different geniuses of bsd and their intelligence type. this is entirely personal opinion btw

ranpo- on top of having amazing intuition and deduction, ranpo is excellent at analyzing small details in a short amount of time. his sheer speed at completely solving impossible cases, even with little evidence, is what makes him so remarkable. he also is pretty good at being a tactician, though his strength mainly lies in solving mysteries.

a tie between dazai and fyodor. maybe fyodor a bit smarter tho. both are incredible tacticians, and their strengths lie in analyzing what their enemies are plotting. they are good at reading people and figuring out how to best use them, and lying/faking their way to get what they want. dazai is also a pretty good detective. 

i am sad to place alcott at third bc tbh she might be a two or tied with ranpo. alcott is fucking brilliant as a tactician and her ability allows her to create complex and detailed plans, correctly able to plot out every possibility her enemies may take. she hasn’t been shown to have any particular skills in reading people or crime solving, which is why she is placed third.

the debatables: don’t actually know the extent of their genius, but they’re apparently pretty smart and capable. mori, shibusawa, and ango?? i feel like im bsing my way now im sorry LMAO

honorable mention: katai

alright that is all im out. thank u for reading this hell i didn’t mean for this to be 8,000 words but its fine. probably. originally was gonna do shorter explanations for everyone and then reblog with more in depth but fuck it, its all here.

[guardianoracle]

What is a guardian? I made a quick guide explaining them! I'll be looking forward to posting my new fellas here over the coming days.

Guardians are a type of egregore, bound to an idol for physical form. The materials themselves can be virtually anything. The only thing that matters is what you think their effect will be on the finished guardian. 

It is also very important to make sure to use sturdy materials in crafting them. You want it to be string enough to withstand things like falls, rips, dogs, poltergeists, what have you. This not only helps keep them intact, but it reinforces your idea of their strength to protect them further on a spiritual level, too. 

You want to let go of imposing your ideas while crafting them, allowing your ideas to pool into a chaotic jumble of your initial impression of the spirit of the guardian you're crafting. Of course, you want to guide this chaotic energy to a degree to make sure things stay consistent and stable in the process. No matter what, trust and believe that it will turn out exactly as it should. Believe that it's spirit is helping guide it's creation and let it's creativity flow through yours. 

It's important to take this work very seriously and approach it with patience, persistence and care. This process uses the same faculties as wandmaking or enchantments. This process is assisted with skills in things like mediumship/channeling, enchanting, tulpamancy, thinking magick and magickal observation. Warding and banishment is important, too. You are crafting an egregore. A companion and friend. It is very important to treat them that way, as a true partner. They are your responsibility. 

As with any relationship, keeping strong boundaries is most important. You need to be steadfast in them. You are creating a living soul. All living souls will push and test boundaries, especially with whom they are closest with. This is completely natural and they should not be punished for doing these things, but a stern correction may be necessary from time to time. 

It is imperative to establish your authority with them from your first interaction. An easy way to think of it is to imagine them as your teenage children in a way. You are still their authority, but they are your obligation and will need your guidance to stay out of trouble. Even though you must dictate their behavior to a degree, it is very important to treat them with the utmost respect and not micromanage them. Even though they are yours in a way, they are their own individual and must be treated as such. 

Some people like to design every little aspect of their egregores. This can make them more tailored to your needs, but it restricts the entity to a degree that can make them feel depressingly robotic in my experience. Or, they may react by withholding information about themselves from you so that they won't risk losing those aspects of themselves. Fear of rejection is something that affects us pretty much universally, and objects or artificial things aren't necessarily spared from it. 

Personally, I leave my intentions towards their usage very open-ended. I prefer to instill morals into them over assigning purposes to them. You are their mentor in a way, as they are yours. Giving them the freedom to become who they want to be, with some level of structure, has given these things a level of humanity and personality that I couldn't feel more blessed to be able to witness. Even though this relaxed approach can be significantly more risky, it is my opinion that these risks yield great rewards and taking that leap into the unknown can allow you to experience so much more than you would otherwise. Always trust that things will happen as they should. 

Guardians get lonely, too. It's usually best to make companions for them. My guardians typically have a soul mate made for them as well. This ensures that they have a partner in their life, romantic, platonic or otherwise. They generally become inseparable partners in this way and have similar or very compatible souls with each other. 

Creating a tribe of guardians is a great way to give them a sense of family and identity. This also adds a layer of accountability between them. They are egregores after all, and will remain active without you. Giving them a pack gives them a way to stay occupied and fulfilled with each other while you're away. Of course this isn't exactly necessary and can be a big commitment to make. Regardless, socializing your guardians is essential to avoid unwanted antisocial behaviors. 

After you create a guardian, you're going to want to make sure they're awake. You hear them with your mind's ear, so attempt telepathic communication with them, even if you don't necessarily think you'll be able to. You'd be surprised. Ask for their name. If they won't tell you for whatever reason, ask if a nickname would be acceptable. There is a chance that they haven't decided on a name just yet, or that they can't figure out how to express their name with language, or they may not consider you ready enough to know. This is very personal information to them. You must respect their boundaries too, even if this is one. Don't try to find their name before they're ready to tell you. This is crossing a personal boundary and will hurt your relationship with them right off the bat. 

Remember, these are companions, not your tools. If you cannot sufficiently communicate with them you can try to use divination to communicate instead of telepathy. Communication is key to a healthy relationship with them. Ask them about their wants and needs. Ask them about what they've been up to. The answers might surprise you! They do live lives on the edge of our realities in a way that are completely different from our own. As we teach them about our world, they teach us about theirs. 

Go into your creation with an open mind. The perfect guardian for you may be something you'd never expect, or might even fear! Look at them as individuals and don't put flash judgments on them.

Use whatever you have handy to create them! Of course you can buy things instead, and if you do, make it special and treat the trip as a significant spiritual event, because it is. I prefer found objects though, as some of the best art seems to come from scarcity in my opinion. It's also best to use materials you connect with. I'm using pipe cleaners for these guys and that works wonderfully for me, but it might not for you. Use your instincts! Express your divinity. 

As with any enchantments, it's best to spend the with them after they've been born. I usually keep them with me for at least a week or two afterwards. As you spend time with them they get to know you, your life and the people around you. This helps them understand your needs better and improves your relationship with them significantly. They will learn their role in your life organically, based on necessity. This also helps you get familiar with them and their energy. 

Have a safety plan in mind, just in case something goes wrong. Plans on how to protect them or save them are important in case they get attacked or injured. It's also important to have in mind a way to destroy them if they turn into something dangerous. It is your responsibility to do so if you have to, but as a last resort of course. Fire and banishment is a method. As long as a fragment of them exists, they may live on. This is also my disclaimer. Playing with fire is a great thing, just don't let it consume you. I'm not encouraging anyone to make these, just explaining my process and opinions to anyone that has decided to do so already, or is curious as to these things. 

Don't forget about them. If you store them, store them together and have a special place to do so. If you can no longer care for them, consider selling them to transfer ownership. Always, always explain to the buyer what they are getting themselves into. Otherwise, this would be a spiritual attack and you will need to deal with the ramifications of this. Don't let the guardians fall into loneliness to the point of despair. Give them the ability to sleep. Unnecessary despair breeds all sorts of negativity and can cause all sorts of issues. 

Do not insist on asking for something they are not able to do. They may not be allowed to, or even be able to tell you why. You should respectfully as for their reasons and then respect their decision and privacy by allowing them to keep it to themselves if that's what they want to do. 

Don't hold back! If you have an idea, go for it. The worst that'll happen is you'll fail. At least you'll go down with courage! Push your limits. Believe you are more than you think, and you might start seeing that you really, really are. Trust yourself and be yourself. Create what you feel called to. Create for the sake of creating. Don't worry so much about rules or systems, you are perfectly qualified to make your own! You don't need loads of experience to do so. Let your instincts guide you instead, see where it goes. As long as you do that, whatever you do will be wonderfully magickal regardless. 

[dreamy-skz]

they have a crush on you (idol au) 💘

requested ˘◡˘

scenario: you’re an older idol and they like/admire you !!

--

CHAN (♡˘◡˘♡)

he might hold back from making a move for a looooong time

you guys met as trainees

and became ~really~ great friends

u never noticed all the times he would glance at you in practice room mirrors, hug you a lil too tight, etc.

he already has mad respect for you but especially with you being older OOF he probably treats u like a damn god(dess)

u two will be hanging for the first time in a while after having separate tours and he’ll be a smiley mess

“i have to admit.....i’ve had a crush on you since we were trainees”

and of course you’ll kiss him or some cute shit cause its chan :(

MINHO t(^_^t)

this sly bitch

literally the only thing stopping him from hitting on you all the time is the fact that you’re older and he needs to be respectful

but if you guys are close friends.....prepare yourself

he’ll do things like winking at you during dance practices or playing with your hair (he likes when you playfully swat at his hands)

he’s not soft very often but with you he’s soft 24/7

will do small favors for you that don’t seem like a big deal but its stuff he wouldn’t do for just anybody

like bringing you food at dance practice or something omg :(

CHANGBIN (´･_･`)

is a shy bean with his genuine feelings so he’ll try to reel it in

but he probably also can’t help treating u like a damn queen/king

you’ll be collaborating with skz on a song and he won’t b able to handle it omfg he’s so excited to show you his lyrics, beats, etc. and hear you singing

is always in the studio with you thinking of new ideas and concepts for the video and choreo

you guys might even make some other (unreleased) songs together and just have such a good time

one night he’s in the booth recording while you’re listening on the other side and he randomly stops the track and is like “do you wanna go out with me sometime ??”

you’re shocked for a sec but then u go into the booth and kiss him ! :)

HYUNJIN (ू•ᴗ•ू❁)

such a fluffy boy

can we just take a moment..........hyunjin having a crush on you

wow. anyway

he’s the softest angel but he’s somehow really good at concealing his feelings on camera and stuff

so there’s a good chance he hides his feelings for you WELL

but the closer you two become as friends....hell will break loose

he’ll be more comfortable around you and get super cuddly the way he does with his members

will wanna nap with you and be close to you alllll the time

you’ll finally figure it out when he whispers how pretty u are or something when he thinks you’re asleep :(((

JISUNG（＾∇＾）

sweet. LORD.

prepare for all the love and affection in the entire universe

cause this boy’s giving it to you

thinks he’s really good at hiding his feelings for you but is 100% not

it won’t take you long to realize lol

but......he’s so damn precious and you love it

you guys meet backstage at an awards show and he can’t even contain himself

he can’t stop doing that lil half-bow thing and raving about how much he loves your music/visuals/choreo

tells you how much he’d love to collab every time he sees you

FELIX (=^ェ^=)

he idolizes you so you can bet ur sweet ass he knows ALL ur choreo

TWICE is quaking

you’ll collaborate with them and on the set for the MV he’s constantly fooling around and making you laugh between takes :(

he’s so easygoing and charming you can’t help liking his weird ass

l o v e s hearing u imitate his aussie accent omg and blushes like crazy

dance practice with them (for the collab) will be legit chaos, mostly because of felix

he’s such a crackhead but you feed off his energy so you’re both wilding out

you two will have to stay afterwards to actually learn the choreo lol but neither of you mind cause.....well :))

imagine dance practice one-on-one with felix whew

SEUNGMINヾ( ･⌓･)ﾉﾞ

will know he likes you almost as soon as he meets you

you guys happen to be MC’ing a show together

so you end up spending a lot of time just the two of you going over your lines

will use it as an excuse to take you out and get food heheh

gets nervous and super cute when he’s with you though, especially alone

and also cause you’re older he’s a lil intimidated

invites you to hang with him + the other members all the time cause you all get along and he highkey loves watching u interact with his brothers

may never work up the nerve to ask you out cause he shy

but you’ll still be lifelong friends and he’s okay with that as long as you’re always around :)

JEONGIN (｡-_-｡)

listen.

this boy doesn’t like most people

so the fact that he likes you...shock of the century

all of skz will be quaking when he tells him

actually scratch that, he won’t tell them but they’ll get it out of him somehow after noticing how he acts around you

he will hate ALL OF THEM SO MUCH once they know cause they tease him about it and threaten to tell you

you have no idea but you’ll say hi to them in passing at an event and he ducks his head while the rest of skz is a giggly mess lol

will call you noona and its the cutest damn thing in the world :(

[applewoodprincess]

Curious Cat: describing SVT personalities

J: kind and selfless to a fault, willing to sacrifice himself if it means letting the ppl he cares about flourish. he's very shy, yet at the same time, very easily excitable. he's a child at heart, but he'll only open up to ppl he is closed to. he clings to his members, seeking affection, playing pranks on them as a way to show his affection toward them. childish & clingy, but incredibly intelligent and clever. he's faced a lot of hardships, but the fact that he always holds a positive attitude is amazing. he's not greedy nor takes things for granted, he knows how to appreciate what he has, but constantly aims to ameliorate himself. he forces himself to be confident bc it helps him believe in himself in order to keep going. he's very humble about himself, but will throw a parade for his members. non-huihuis often see him as a weirdo, but i see it as him finally being comfortable enough to show us his lovable and eccentric quirks. overall, junnie is an adorable and sweet kid, who loves his members and triggers people's motherly instincts 😆 (god, i love him so much)

HS: spazzy but intense. we all know how he gets when he's excited and having fun lol. he's among the moodmakers, the one always ready to cheer you on and offer to help you. he is very kind and generous, and yes, spazzy lol. on the flip side, when it comes time to work, he is INTENSE. he's hard on himself AND his members. he knows when to stop goofing and get serious. he may be a little clueless when it comes to most things, but he's far from dumb. super passionate and determined.

WW: the hot nerd jk 😂 idk how it's possible for someone to be such a perfect blend of: confidence, intelligence, kindness, and playfulness. (not to say that the others are shallow FAR FROM IT), but wonu is just so deep? in everything he does, he puts in so much thought, carefully choosing his words and actions. he's the cool kid that gets cooler as you spend time with him. he tends to be on the quieter side (when not having fun with the rest of them), but he knows how to take charge and be assertive when he needs to. the way he cares for his members isn't obvious as some others, but it's there, subtle yet significant. something else i really appreciate from him is the amount of thoughtfulness he puts into something he knows is important--not necessarily for himself, but for others. like how he took the time to learn flower language bc fans gave him flowers, or how he continuously wore the bracelet that jun's mom gave 96z. and his determination and sheer willpower. god, that clip from HTR. he was ready to collapse, yet didn't allow himself to. the fact he was able to push forward and finish the show speaks volumes of his sense of responsibility and determination. *sigh* jeon wonu, you are the perfect man

WZ: tough marshmallow lol. bc he's strict, but also super soft and sweet! haha. if WW comes across as closed off at first sight, then WZ is basically a hermit lol. he's very shy, but he's grown to be confident and proud of what he's accomplished. of course there are still fears and worries, but he's by no means hesitant or indecisive when it comes to what he wants from his music. passionate and serious, but still sweet and caring. a man of few words, but many melodies and poems~

T8: very goal-orientated and ambitious. a realistic, but still able to dream and create beautiful art pieces that require imagination. a romantic. kind and sweet, but not overtly emotional. down to earth and practical. (the same can be said for wonhoon too but) not someone to condone BS lol. protective of his members. won't hesitate to snap back if there is injustice or unfairness. despite the serious attitude, a real loving kid.

MG: mr. perfect, with a slice of clumsiness jk 😂 a soft boy. the kind of friend you can count on. reliable and pleasant, friendly, outgoing. can get huffy at times, but it never lasts long. emotional. he just has A LOT of feels all the time about a lot of things. despite being pretty much perfect, he still strives to better himself, never letting his achievements get to his head. his clumsiness isn't limited to breaking/dropping things. some of the things he says sometimes does come across as a little tactless, but it's never with bad intentions. he's an all around GOOD BOY. very soft and gentle.

DK: the kindest soul~ most ppl see him as a little ditzy, and he does tend to be clueless and silly, but he has such a big heart. and a very good moodmaker! it's not for nothing that he's our sunshine! hahah. but he's so hardworking, too. and also super emotional. if MG channels his emotions through speeches and writing, then DK just lets his emotions flow out haha. it's raw and honest. not one to pretend or put on airs. what you see is what you get. an honest and kind boy :D

SK: sassy lol. he is such a delight tbh. one of the brightest spots in the universe. not only is he smart, he quick on his feet and can turn any situation around. sure, he nags and sasses his members, but he loves them so much??? also king at reading the mood in a room. king of entertainment. king of moodmakers. he can be loud and confident and funny and lead an entire show. but on the other hand, he is very sensitive and ALSO emotional. yes, he cries a lot lol, but he's also more likely to lash out when he's mad (which is actually hilarious to see ngl). among svt, he probably takes care of their image as idols the most lol.

VN: (anyone who comes to me with "VN stoner" comments will get smacked). he is a sweet and caring kid, mischievous at times, but doesn't have a bad bone in his entire body. yes, he's spacey, but he is true to himself and what he wants. he doesn't bend for trends or anybody's opinion, and i honestly find that admirable. even more so than josh, he is very mellow. he is much more of the listening type, but afterward, he will talk and give you his honest opinions. he doesn't mince words. very honest and true. also great supporter, even when he doesn't quite understand lol. while he seems pretty mature, the fact that he's still much a baby when it comes to everyday life is really cute.

DN: a very mature and independent young man. in a way, i think he's quite similar to Hao, with how he is very ambitious and strives to do/learn more and more, to hone in his skills. very passionate, too. he is very responsible and capable of taking the lead, which he does when it comes to dancing (only second to HS). he acts like a hyung lol (and you can see it pretty clearly in the way he and jun interact). i think he has an easier time being the maknae nowadays lol. a reliable young man full of passion!

oh, man. this is a huge essay 😅 i'm sorry it's so long! and i'm probably forgetting a bunch of details for each member, so pls don't get mad at me 🙏😭 these are just my own personal thoughts about each of them, even if they're lacking. all in all, we are very lucky to have 13 wonderful, kind, and talented young men.

ahhh thank you, my dear! please take care and stay safe, too! hopefully this is satisfactory 😅

(i should have ch. 17 out in a few days. thank you for the wait!) xoxoxo

[amplesalty]

Christmas 2019: Day 9 - The Christmas Hope (2009)

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Nine months of gestation!

On reflection, I can see that the past two entries on this years list have been a bit of a downer. Far too centered in talk of mental illness, depression and the like. Let’s perk things up a bit with...*checks notes*...shit.

Right now millions of people across the planet (or galaxy as it were) are enjoying/not enjoying the end to a very different cinematic trilogy. Me? I have a long overdue wrap up to attend to that started many moons ago thanks to a certain little film about a certain pair of shoes based on a certain song. Quite why I’m doing this know I don’t know. I can only suspect that I’ve seen one too many reflective social media posts now that we’re reaching both the end of a year and decade, perhaps I’m subconsciously wanted to sort out unfinished business, hence looking at stuff like this, Christmas Story Live and the Christmas Carol Musical.

The movie starts with Traci here recording herself singing a song before commenting ‘American Idol here I come!’. The camera pans all through her house looking at pictures of her daughter, soppy picture frames with ‘I LOVE YOU MOMMY’ written on them and no sign of a boyfriend/husband so she has the basis for a feel good story if she does make it on. Might need to jazz it up somewhere along the line if we’re to really tug at the audiences heartstrings but it’s a start. This actress would go on to play Vicky in the live action Fairly Odd Parents movies so that’s another tie in to a previous entry. Apparently there’s a third one of those and I’m not sure if I’ve seen it.

She literally runs into a couple on her way to work, knocking their teddy bear to the floor which they graciously give to her when she mentions that her daughter would love it. This is Nathan and Megan from The Christmas Blessing, sadly both recast. Actually, maybe that’s a good thing. Not sure I’d be able to take NPH seriously after all those H&K movies recently. Nathan is a bit more of a ginger this time around, rather than the dirty blonde thing NPH has going on. Megan is expecting and they have about a bajillion teddies so they don’t mind passing one along. Hey, someone probably got you that as a gift. Be grateful!

Meanwhile, the police arrest a drug dealer and find she has a malnourished baby in her apartment so in swoop child services to save the day.

Mr. T feels your pain.

I hope you weren’t getting too attached to Traci by the way because about fifteen minutes into the film, shortly after making a heartfelt promise to her daughter that they were going to decorate the Christmas tree once she got home from work and that she had a very special present for her this year, she promptly gets run over.

Have you ever crossed the road, and looked the wrong way? A car's nearly on you? So what do you do? Something very silly; you freeze. Your life doesn't flash before you, cause you're too fucking scared to think, you just freeze and pull a stupid face.

I know I shouldn’t be surprised given this is one of those melodramatic, Hallmark movies and this whole series has been overly morbid up to this point but it still kinda threw me. Here we are all nice and happy, Traci’s going about her day and there’s a nice Christian, soft rock Christmas ballad playing in the background and then BOOM, SUV to the face.

Then it cuts to her daughter, Emily, going through the Christmas decorations before settling on a angel which she ponders on for a moment before looking to the heavens as she’s having this moment of intuition.

But when child services pop their head in again to take her away, they find that all their usual helpers are fully booked for the holidays so what else can they do? One of the workers, Patricia, has no choice but to take her home. It’s not by the book but, damnit, it’s Christmas and we’re going to give this kid some degree of stability. By sheer coincidence, Patricia happens to be the mother of one Sean Addision who was the kid that died following a car accident the start of Christmas Blessing which caused Nathan to have his Dr Cox crisis of confidence moment. These movies are just ridiculous to how everyone's lives are so intertwined.

Like, up to this point, we met Traci who then bumped into Nathan and Megan, before going to work and having a young, troubled teen skip out on his bill but Patricia was in at the same time and tipped really generously to make up for it. That same kid then pretty much steals her bag following accident and also knew Sean who was mentoring him in one of those Big Brother mentoring programs.

Patricia’s husband, Mark, is played by James Remar, he of The Warriors fame and, more pertinent to this blog, he was in the Miracle on 34th Street remake and one of the segments in the Tales from the Darkside movie. Theirs is a very frosty relationship currently owing to the death of Sean, there’s no sense of chemistry between these two and I’m surprised they’re actually as close in age as they are, Remar only 4 years older. Feels like there’s more of like a 10-20 year gap. He gets on very well with Emily though, they have this instant rapport whilst Patricia is more distant which is understandable. She obviously has to keep things professional as she can’t get too attached to these kids and doesn’t want them getting attached to her, plus there’s probably ongoing issues from Sean’s death, maybe she’s not prepared to slip back into that motherly role again. Which you can tell by that dinner she serves; rolls of wafer thin ham, cherry tomatoes, carrot sticks and celery? That’s just what all the kids want.

At least she’ll read Emily a bedtime story, ‘I’ll Love You Forever’ which documents a mother who sings to her song that she’ll love him forever, even when he becomes a rebellious teenager who thinks it’s lame for her to do that. This leads to the very strange visual of him cradiling her in his arms on a rocking chair and singing it to her when she’s old and frail, a mirror image of how she first sang to him when he was a baby. This really hits Patricia in the feels as she felt distant from Sean as he seemed closer to his father, wanting to impress him by picking the sports and classes he thought his father wanted him to take. She even seems to partly blame her husband for their sons death as he switched around his work schedule to come home early for Christmas, which in turn led to Sean coming home early too. If he’d just come home on the day he intended this never would have happened! That seems grossly unfair. Even when she passed along a family heirloom in the form of her fathers watch, he was unimpressed and even managed to break it whilst horsing around with a friend in his room.

The massively tangled web of these characters comes into play again when Megan is going through some things and finds an old Christmas gift which sends Nathan into some sort of Nam flashback. Turns out Sean was holding it as he was wheeled into the hospital and Nathan had taken it upon himself to make sure it found its way to its intended destination but he just forgot about it over the years. I actually went back to check this and ,yeah, that is in the previous movie. I had this whole thing pegged as just a series of independent stories with loose connections throughout but no, apparently they had whole plot points planned out in advance.

Nathan and Patricia do interact several times as she takes the crack baby to the hospital to be checked up. There’s this strange level of frustration akin to An American Tail where Nathan keeps getting little flashbacks in his head but he’s never quite able to connect the dots.

But of course he eventually does and the present turns out to be, say it with me now, the broken watch! Perhaps more meaningful though is the accompanying note which reveals Sean intended to study social work at college because he wanted to help kids just like his mom. This seems to serve as a form of closure for her but I feel like you could already start drawing that sort of conclusion. I mean, the guy was already in that Big Brother program so you were clearly already having some sort of influence on him.

Strike two of the big overly emotional finale comes when it’s suggested Emily puts the angel atop the tree which promptly makes her bolt out of the room. Everyone is left thinking they’ve upset her but she comes back clutching a picture which she wedges onto the tree, a picture not of her mother as I had suspected but of Sean. She says he is her angel and she feels like whenever she’s felt all alone, he’s been there to help here. Awww.

The big showstopper though is the troubled kid finally coming good and, after realising who everyone is in this story, returns Traci’s bag to the Addison home. Inside was her camera and on that camera was the video from the very start of the movie. Turns out she wrote that song as a Christmas gift for Emily.

Though, I feel the writers fell short of a grand slam here. Near the end, Nathan shares the story with Megan about giving the gift to Sean’s parents and how it gave him his own little bit of closure after how much Sean’s death affected him back then. Megan goes into labour shortly afterwards and I was fully expecting them to decide to call the baby Sean but no such luck.

Christmas Blessing was lacking a little bit in the big emotional ending so it feels like this one is making up for that and then some. It’s not as cheesy as that song from Christmas Shoes but still delivers that overly sentimental feeling. Again, it’s something I am loathed to admit but it got to me a little bit. This whole movie has that same morbid energy as the other two but in a slightly different way, the first two felt like you spent the entire movie watching people who were on deaths door before something happened at the end to soften the blow. Here they just give you the death right up front and everyone is left to cope with the aftermath and reflect on how deal with it. It’s like an encapsulation of everything that Nathan has gone through over these movies, facing death in his personal and professional life but coming to terms with it.

You know what’s bullshit though? No sign of the eponymous Christmas Shoes anywhere. They’re even in the box of stuff that Megan finds the old Christmas present in. How can you make this your big conclusion and not bring them back? You brought them back the last one, you couldn’t have Megan tag along and give them to Emily at the end as some sort of passing of the torch? It was her destiny, Nathan got them for his dead mother, Charlie got them for his dead mother, those shoes have been robbed of their purpose in life.

[margridarnauds]

3, 4, 12, and 27 for any Celtic or Arthurian ship (go wild with 'em!)

It is a fact universally acknowledged that I am A Soft Bitch. Also it has been SO LONG since I’ve dipped my toes into Arthuriana.  

(Sorry it took me so long; I had a Fourth of July dinner to go to and then afterwards I was so exhausted by people asking me about the drinking opportunities available in Ireland because obviously that’s why I’ve spent five years of my life dedicated to the field, amiright? + getting stung by fire ants because fuck Florida that I had to take a long freaking nap.) 

3. Who is the most romantic?

Bres/Sreng

I think that they actually both are, it’s just...how they express it. 

Sreng tends to be slightly blunter as far as he feels, he tends to show his affection for Bres via being a rock for him when he needs it most. He helps Bres with the children, he distracts him when the pressures of being with the Fomorians and the diplomatic hot potato get to be too much for him, he’s the one who Bres vents to when his father is being difficult on something, he tries to find ways to visit Bres whenever he can. He was the one in the tent with Bres when the news about Ruadan’s death came, he was the one who held Bres throughout the night as he SOBBED into Sreng’s last good cloak. 

Bres on the other hand is slightly less big on ACTIONS; it would be really, really easy for an outside observer to think that he’s less invested in the relationship. The truth is that he’s just as invested as Sreng is, if not more. He just tends to show it via, for example, curling up with Sreng’s cloak when he’s not there or being the one to take his hand when they’re in bed together, running his fingers along Sreng’s knuckles. 

Bres’ private space is very important to him, it’s part of why the Tuatha dé and he never really CLICKED, because the king of the Tuatha dé needed to be...well...an extrovert, someone who can host lavish feasts, someone who can humor everyone in the hall while maintaining the social order, and the longer that Bres stood in the kingship, the more he grew to despise everyone there. But Sreng is allowed IN there, he can go to Bres’ quarters with no problem, he can dine with Bres privately and Bres is perfectly at ease with him, he can share Bres’ living space to the extent that Bres tends to use him as a pillow. Also: Bres totally dotes on him and occasionally slips him a new gold neck-ring when he’s not looking. Because Sreng would be too proud for it normally but Bres can’t stand to see his decline. Which is big for Bres, given how we KNOW how stingy he was with the Tuatha dé. 

You know that if he’d won he would have totally spoiled Sreng. If that Fir Bolg wanted ANYTHING, he would have had it. It’s hard to use the term “consort” because the Medieval Irish were so BIG on marriage = children as a concept, but...Sreng would have been Bres’ nearest, dearest companion that he lavished attention on. Which would have rubbed salt on the Tuatha dé’s wounds even more. 

Mordred/Galahad 

Galahad. He has VERY high ideals of love and how it should be expressed, and so he’s constantly trying to court Mordred in the most courtly way he possibly can. Which is massively confusing to Mordred because he has no idea what to DO but...well...it’s nice. At least, once he realizes that Galahad id 100% serious. At first, he laughs about it with his brothers, but then as time goes on, he realizes that he LIKES it. (Namely when Galahad’s away on a quest at one point and suddenly Mordred doesn’t have that attention anymore.) Mordred is more the “I happened to find this by the side of the road, but don’t think that I LIKE you” type. 

4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

Bres/Sreng

...Bres. Bres is just...Bres. He can’t keep his hands to himself and he will make bad jokes the entire time in his attempt to be smooth. He deeply enjoys trying to find excuses to touch Sreng whenever they are at a feast together. This drives Sreng absolutely batty since there’s really nothing that he can do to reciprocate when they’re in front of some of THE MOST POWERFUL FOMORIAN NOBILITY TO EXIST and Bres is behaving very casually, making pleasant conversation and Oh, Queen Cethlenn, is that a new silk dress? I hadn’t noticed it before while he raises his goblet at Sreng. Sreng always takes his revenge in the end, waiting until they have at least a sliver of privacy before pinning Bres against the nearest hard surface and kissing him absolutely senseless. Which was totally Bres’s intended purpose.

Mordred/Galahad

In general, Mordred, despite often seeming aloof. Mordred is very, very handsy with his boyfriend because, even though he won’t ADMIT it, the boy’s touch starved, and Galahad is endlessly compassionate when it comes to that. Though Galahad DID get tipsy once and was, as it turns out, a very affectionate drunk, which gave Mordred fuel to tease him for WEEKS. (And the rest of Camelot tbh. Given that we know that they are not above roasting someone given Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.) Galahad can’t enter the Great Hall without blushing for ages. Mordred tells him that his father’s done far, far worse in his time. 

12. What first changes when it starts getting serious?

It’s odd with them because their bond’s been intense since the first time they met. They just had one of those instant connections, so in some ways them finally going from friends to lovers...wasn’t THAT big of a step, because they always were serious. Their meeting is actually really, really unusual in terms of how two champions from opposite sides GENERALLY interact in-text, given that they both are on such good terms with one another and they STAY on good terms with one another even after everything happens. No, this did not feature in my undergrad Capstone in any way, what would give you that idea? 

I think that Bres is really, really surprised that Sreng stays by his side after their reunion. He puts on this very confident front, but privately, he puts a lot of his self identity on his looks. And when they went with Cairpre’s satire, that was a HUGE blow mentally and physically, even before it touches how it affects his kingship. He knew on some level that Sreng was interested in him, but they’d left things at a confusing place. So, he didn’t think that Sreng would keep an interest in him when his looks were marred, Sreng didn’t think that he had ANY interest in him...it’s a mess. And both of them still kind of think that the other’s going to change their mind at any given time even after they begin the process of clearing things up, not the least because neither one of them have really ever been in a place of stability in their lives. 

But then, it’s a month onwards, then it’s a year, then it’s two years, and both of them are still there, and it’s just like “Oh. This is a Thing” and there’s just this general feeling of security that starts to creep in. And, gradually, their lives just kind of naturally intersect. Both of them interact with one another regularly, both of them know each other’s families (regrettably, in Sreng’s case, given that he is the founding member of the Elatha Hate Club, even though he does love Bres’ children dearly), both of them have stuff over at the other one’s place. In the modern day, it would be painfully obvious that they were a couple, but since it IS this time, everyone else thinks They’re Just Good Friends, because that’s how good friends ARE at this point in time. Except for Lugh, who post-Cath Maige Tuired firmly believes that Bres is The Actual Devil and that Sreng and he have some sort of devious plan to take Ireland back. 

Mordred/Galahad

For once, they stop thinking about their respective destinies as much. 

Like, don’t get me wrong, in Galahad’s case in PARTICULAR, his eventual destiny is something that’s ALWAYS at the back of his mind, because he’s spent literally his ENTIRE CHILDHOOD being told that. We do not discuss the truly endless depth of my hatred for his mother and grandfather for THAT ONE + their treatment of Lancelot. 

And for Mordred, I think that on some level, there’s just this resignation that he’s going to be the villain, he’s going to kill Arthur one day, he’s going to be Evil™. He’s known that since he got the prophecy, and I tend to see him as having this “Then let me BE evil” moment after he murders the old priest and then Lancelot, the knight who he’d IDOLIZED and probably had a little bit of a crush on, tries to kill him. And that’s why he tends to see all the bad in Camelot, because it makes it that much easier to bring it all down. 

But, for a little while, there’s this period of time where they have the luxury of thinking about something outside of their fates, they can have a LIFE that’s theirs, without worrying about the future. It’s one of those things that they don’t even really NOTICE until it’s like “Wait, I haven’t thought about my tragic but inevitable death for a month now, where’s the time gone?” 

27. Why do their friends get annoyed with them?

Bres has FRIENDS? 

Alright, alright, that’s probably a little cruel, but...Well, he doesn’t really HAVE anyone. I tend to HC that Sreng’s brothers don’t really understand the relationship AT ALL and tend to view Bres as The Tuath Dé Who Shamelessly Seduced Their Brother (If you ask Bres, HE’LL say that it was the other way around, if you ask Sreng, he’ll just shrug because honestly to this day he has no idea how he scored Bres.)  

Tailtiu thinks that Sreng is essentially tying himself to a sinking ship. (Which...is she WRONG?) And Bres’ presence is basically a gigantic wedge between Sreng and Lugh being Bros™, which would obviously be Tailtiu’s endgame of choice. That, and Bres did. Kind of. Try to kill her former husband. Even though he had a Very, Very Good Reason for it at the time. Still. That has to sting a little. 

Elatha REALLY doesn’t like Sreng or the relationship, because he views it as a Distraction™ (that, and he doesn’t understand the appeal. If his son’s going to throw everything out on the line for someone, couldn’t it have been someone better, more attractive, more witty, less blunt? Someone that he could bend to his own ends), but he also knows that he has to tacitly allow it to continue, because he does NOT want to deal with the fallout. (Not even from Bres. Oh no, there’s a bigger threat to be considered. Eriu. Who is Very Happy That Her Boy’s Found Someone To Make Him Happy and won’t hear a bad word against Sreng, who she considers to be A Very Nice Boy. If she were a modern mom, she totally would be knitting Sreng a Christmas sweater while they speak and asking them when the wedding was even before either one of them had really THOUGHT of proposing.) 

Bríg does NOT like Sreng at all, not necessarily because of personal jealousy (she never really loved Bres, he never really loved her, even though there was a definite possibility that they could have loved one another in the early days), but because of the Nuada Incident. She doesn’t really understand why Bres would spend so much time with him when he’s The Enemy, and he’s a Fir Bolg so he’s inherently lesser than the Tuatha dé anyway. 

Bres’ brothers don’t really understand it either. Over 3000 years in and the Dagda STILL thinks that Bres’ problem is that he doesn’t get laid enough and that if Bres would just get away from That Fir Bolg... (If only he knew, if only he knew.)

Meanwhile, the Fomorian lords, sans Elatha, are more or less completely oblivious. Tethra might have a better idea than the others, but does he care? Nope. He’s not overly invested in this whole thing anyway. He’s got his own issues at home to take care of, thank you VERY much. He participates in the raids because he has to dole out the loot to his men the same as anyone else, but he’s not INVESTED in it. It’s a necessary part of maintaining his kingship, nothing more. Sreng isn’t overly fond of them because he considers them to be essentially a snakepit of intrigue and corruption that will stab the two of them in the back at their earliest opportunity and he’s not wrong for the most part, though the one thing I WILL emphasize is that it’s not because they’re Fomorians, it’s that they’re...well, medieval kings, but they have a decent enough working relationship because they both hate the Tuatha dé’s guts. 

Mordred/Galahad 

Agrap-Agravaine tends to be annoyed that his brother’s spending all his time with someone who’s such a goody two shoes. Mordred and he have always been the closest in terms of age and personality, and suddenly he’s no longer Mordred’s Favorite. 

I actually think that Morgause would like Galahad? She’s definitely very, very pro-her sons being happy in Le Morte d’Arthur and Good Mom Morgause is a hill that I’m willing to die on. Because fuck T.H White. I do think it would be a little strange, to say the least, given that obviously Galahad is staunchly religious whereas I don’t REALLY see Morgause having that same bent. Morgause just...lives her own life, regardless of what society says, and I think she would have some trouble understanding why her son would go for someone like that when he’s HIM. But I do think that for the most part, she would just be thrilled that Mordred has someone who he’s devoted to given that he’s REALLY not been OK since That One Quest With Lancelot. 

ANY of Galahad’s friends tend to be annoyed at Mordred simply for the fact that Mordred is...Mordred. He doesn’t have the best reputation for a REASON, and it’s very, very dissonance inducing to see the two of them constantly in one another’s presence, even though they try to frame it in terms of Mordred being a charity case of Galahad's.

And Lancelot obviously hates Mordred because he knows of The Prophecy™. He is NOT pleased by this turn of events, and it goes way beyond “annoyance.”