#asexual terminology

[infused-with-madness]

So, I'm a panromantic asexual, right? And that's a lot of syllables. I could use the short forms instead.

So, I'm a pan ace, right? And that's a lot easier to say, but it's not as cool as it could be. There's a word that already exists, though, that sounds kinda similar, and it works because of the aces and cake thing.

So, I propose this: I'm a pancake.

[mossy-aro]

i saw a comment on tiktok making fun of QPRs the other day saying smth like “stop saying ‘QPRs’ U MEAN FRIENDSHIPS?!?!” and it had like 50K+ likes and I can’t find the screenshot of it now but genuinely sometimes this shit makes me lose faith in humanity idk idk

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

We're coming up on "ace people are Very Welcome in kink communities acktschually" season so I would just like to make sure that everyone knows that this might be true for a certain type of ace person and a certain type of kink community, but maybe we shouldn't universalize that experience

honestly we should stop presenting the highly stylized, highly psychosexual environment of the kink community as a one size fits all solution for basic human problems like "I would like to be able to communicate more honestly about my relationship preferences" or "I have a need for validation from an authority figure". like. I think we should encourage a wide variety of different solutions for those problems actually and I don't think all of them should exist under the umbrella of kink

[sunlit-mess]

is the character in your most recent post (the joke post) your sona or an OC? either way, they look absolutely GORGEOUS. that purple coat and the whole color palette is so visually pleasing, wtf

Ah- it's just me, AHAHAHHAA I incorporated cupio/ace colors to the clothing and hair (‾◡◝)

[theasexual-jackson]

You know, I was really thinking about the "love/sex is what makes us humans" and, to be honest...

What about our capacity to create ideas? Feel emotions? Our ability to communicate with such complex sounds, such as languages? Our individualities and personalities?

Looking from this point, it feels like allo/amatonormativity conditioned society to think the only goal for us is go give birth and nothing else, specially under capitalism, since the land lords need people to exploit.

It's sad, ngl.

[hussyknee]

could it not also be considered androphobia that trans men don’t actually “count” as men when it comes to lesbians…???

What?

Policing the way you self-identify is inherently oppressive and queerphobic, and the particular way it's levelled at trans mascs is transandrophobic. Insisting that trans men can't be lesbians and that lesbians can't be attracted to trans men denies the fact that you can't pick most trans men out of a lesbian lineup, that being assigned female informs a lot of trans mascs' experiences, that they experience most of the same oppressions as women, and rejects the belonging they found in the lesbian identity while sussing out their gender (which may not even be a fixed thing). Like, fucking hell, you're attracted to what someone looks and behaves like, their aesthetic, their energy, their vibes. NOT whether they check the right gender box on a questionnaire. Male is an internal identity that can mean a lot of things. It has nothing to do with who's attracted to you or how you experience attraction.

Also like...the gender binary isn't real lol. Y'all think women and men occupy oppositional sides like a tennis court, and that all other genders fall into one or the other and never the twain shall meet. So that when a Man™ falls into the orbit of a sexuality that predominantly centers fems/women, or when that sexuality doesn't completely exclude all attraction to mascs/men, y'all have an entire cow about it.

Edited to clarify: I meant that the majority of trans mascs are pre-transition, not that no trans masc in any state of transition can look like anything but a woman. Begging y'all to remember that the vast majority of trans people are not medically transitioned because of socio-economic reasons, most are closeted to some extent and (can't find the stats on dysphoric vs. non-dysphoric trans people) some trans mascs don't/ can't even wear binders. And even cis gays mix up femme twinks and butch lesbians. Being able to be shielded among the cis gay community and its allies is one of trans folks's most important protections.

[allthegaynamesaretaken]

Are there labels for sexualities that define the trend in attraction you feel without being in reference to what gender you identify as? For example, heterosexuality is an attraction to the "opposite" gender. However, my gender is very fluid and hard to describe, so I'm having trouble finding the words I want to use to describe my sexuality.

[dragonairice]

So I got a 13/15 for this-

[frogfriend-247]

I wrote a reply to someone on Insta a couple days ago explaining queerplatonic relationships, and I wanted to share it here:

I kinda ate with this ngl

(Edited out pfp and name bc it’s my private Insta account.)

Hopefully the alt text was successfully added, I was never actually taught how that stuff works fjdkfj

Anyway, feel free to reach out to me with questions if you have any!

[gender-trash]

semi-recently started using the skritter app to learn chinese (it's good! highly recommend!) and they've got all these premade decks of flashcards for, you know, normal shit. HSK vocabulary! computer terms! kangxi radicals!

meanwhile i am attempting to learn to read tropey xianxia novels, so i'm making a deck of xianxia terminology for myself and i keep needing to add new words to the skritter dictionary for stupid bullshit (latest word i added: "dual cultivation"), and it feels like. sorry hi hello i'm in this temple of learning exclusively for stupid bullshit purposes, don't mind me,,

[jenny-dreadful]

yk when someone confidently slides on their socks into a complex ongoing discourse to be like “um actually. [term] means [thing] 💅” all smug, and expect to be taken seriously, not realizing they completely lack a concept of a specific and contextually-applicable usage which everybody else here already understands. <<<<<<<<<

[templebet]

Actus-sexual: a term for those who only feel significant sexual attraction while sexually active. Often requires a defined sexual relationship to begin feeling attraction, but is not limited to that specific partner, actus-sexuals will feel attraction to other people while they are in a relationship. They will often feel less asexual while in a relationship, and more asexual when not. For me, I feel almost no attraction when not partnered, but almost allosexual when partnered. This term may be preferred by polyamourous people, but monogamous people may also resonate. Derived from the latin root actus - active, a doing

This term can also be used for aromantics, an actus-romantic may feel little to no romantic attraction unless they are actively in a romantic relationship, but their attraction can now be felt for people other than their partner.

[caitrionavalmai]

For all who want or need it - here is all the terms A-Z I’ve come across as a queer woman in my community :)

THE RAINBOW SPECTRUM

By: C. Valmai

Agender: to be without gender

Ally: supporter of equal civil rights, gender equality, and LGBT social movements

Androgynous (Andro): appearance of inter-determinate sex

Androphilia (Minsexual): the attraction to men and masculinity

Aporanger: form of non-binary; to feel seperate from any gender whilst still having a strong and specific gendered feeling.

Aromantic: little to no feeling of romantic attraction

Asexual (Ace): little to no sexual feeling or desire

Autosexual: to be sexually attracted to themselves

Bear: a hairy and heavyset queer man

Bigender: individual that experiences two gender identities; male and female

Bisexual: to be sexually attracted to both males and females

Butch: traditionally masculine appearing queer woman

Cisgender: person who’s gender identity matches their assigned gender at birth

Closeted: person who hasn’t publicly disclosed their sexual orientation

Coming-out: the self disclosure of ones sexual orientation

Cross-dressing: the act of wearing clothes commonly associated with the opposite sex

Demiromantic: person who experiences romantic attraction only after forming a strong emotional connection

Demisexual: person who experiences sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional connection

Drag queen: males who ostentatiously dress in women’s clothes

Dyke: a lesbian with masculine mannerisms

Equality: the state of equal treatment without regard to differentiating characteristic

Femme (Feminine): queer person who presents in a feminine manner

Fraysexual: sexual attraction to others that they’re less familiar with

Futch: the midway point for lesbians on the scale between femme and butch

FTM/F2M: transition terminology for female to male

Gay: a homosexual male

Gender Dysphoria: discomfort and distress due to the mismatch between ones biological sex and gender identity

Gender fluid/queer: a gender identity not exclusively masculine or feminine

Gender neutral: a word/phrase that doesn’t refer to just one gender; they/them

Gender variant: behaviour or gender expression that doesn’t match masculine or feminine gender norms

Graysexual: A form of Asexuality, with very rare occurrences of sexual attraction

Gynephilia (Finsexual): the attraction to women and femininity

Hermaphrodite: having both sex organs/characteristics, either abnormally or naturally

Heterosexual: a person who is attracted to the opposite sex

Homosexual: a person who is attracted to the same sex

Intersex: individuals born with variations in sex characteristics that don’t fit typical definitions for male or female e.g. chromosomes, gonads, sex hormones, genitals etc.

Justified: to be understood and accepted for who you identify as without judgement

Kinks: bizarre or unconventional sexual preferences and behaviours

Lesbian: a homosexual woman

Lithosexual: an individual who experiences sexual attraction but doesn’t want it reciprocated

Lithromantic: an individual who experiences romantic attraction but doesn’t want it reciprocated

Mardi Gras: the annual parade/festival that celebrates the queer community (translates in French to Fat Tuesday)

Masc (Masculine): queer person who presents in a masculine manner

MTF/M2F: transition terminology for male to female

Neutrois: to have no gender or an absence of gender

Non-binary: identifying as without gender or gender identity

Omnisexual (Omni): sexual, romantic or emotional attraction towards others with acknowledgement of sexual orientation and gender identity

Outing: revealing the sexual orientation of someone else without their consent

Pansexual (Pan/Gender Blind): sexual, romantic or emotional attraction towards others regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity

Polyamorous: to have intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the consent of all involved

Polysexual (Poly): sexually attracted to more than one gender

Pride: the positive stance against discrimination and violence towards all queer people

Queer: an umbrella term for sexual and gender minorities that aren’t heterosexual or cisgender

Questioning: the process of discovering ones own gender, sexual identity, and/or sexual orientation

Quoisexual: unable to distinguish the differences between sexual and other forms of attraction

Rainbow flag: established in 1979, the rainbow flag of pride symbolises: red for life, orange for healing, yellow for sunlight, green for nature, blue for harmony, and purple for spirit, for the queer community.

Skoliosexual: individuals attracted to gender queer, transgender and/or non-binary people

Stonewall: initially a mafia owned Inn, catered to the poorest and most marginalised people in the queer community

Straight: individual who is attracted to the opposite gender

Transsexual (Trans+): the desire to physically transition to the sex that corresponds with the gender they identify as

Transgender: individual that doesn’t identify as the sex they were assigned at birth

Trigender: individual that experiences three gender identities; male, female and non-binary

Twink: a small frames, young looking queer man, with little to no body hair

Unisex: designed to be suitable for both sexes

Visibility: the accurate representation of the diversity of the queer community

Wigstock: 1980’s annual outdoor drag festival in Manhattan’s East Village on Labour Day

XX/XY Chromosomes: the pair of DNA that determine the biological sex of an individual; XX for female, XY for male

You: the journey of understanding your own gender, orientation, personal preferences, and representation

Ze/Zir: third person pronouns describing individuals without gender assumption

[nextstepcake]

My primary regret (albeit not that serious of one) when it comes to ace and aro community terminology is that we let yet another “A” term win out as the word for non-aces, and then used the same prefix for non-aros, and then used a- again for the cross-community terms. So now we have allo aros and allo aces and aro aces and allo allos, and also sometimes aro allos and ace allos, and then the kind of allos where you have to guess from context, and aro-spec and then ace-spec or was that a-spec? How’s that for a tongue twister! I am constantly typing or hearing the wrong 2-4 syllable a-words and it’s just aaaaaaaaaaah all around. It may have been a major win for alliterative capacity at the time but it was a definitely loss for ease of listening/reading comprehension in the long run.

(I’m not actually suggesting we do anything to change that at this point, other than maybe spelling out ace spectrum / aro spectrum / ace and aro spectrums all the way more often, but I am hoping to commiserate with other a-related typo victims)

[kiribaku]

lrb reminds me how much I can't stand ppl who think demisexual is a real thing. you not wanting to fuck people you don't know because "they're not sexually attractive" isn't worth a damn label or to be called an "identity". and it's definitely not lgbt.

[arocoded]

What does it mean for you be be an aroace “lesbian”? Lesbians are definitionally homosexual.

Yeah it's definitely confusing terminology, but for me it refers to queerplatonic relationships. Like I'm asexual and aromantic, but I want to be in a qpr, but I really truly cannot imagine being truly happy in one w a man personally

I think the more technical terminology is lesbian *oriented* aroace