#babe you can hear it happen from the kitchen sitting room hall and my room. darlings.

[i-am-become-a-name]

all alone in the house so set up the sitting room speakers to play Gallifrey: Enemy Lines in cobbled together 'surround sound' and. well. forgot it started like that. 🙃🙃🙃

[daddyy333]

Hard Day | Bucky Barnes x y/n

if you’d like you can reblog my original work, but please don’t post it without credit. if you take inspiration from my ideas please tag me, I’d like to see how someone else would write it

word count: 1.1k

warnings: ?

summary: You make Bucky feel better after a long, hard day at work

“Baaaby!” You said, hearing your handsome boyfriend come home. Bucky took a deep breath, of course he wanted to see you but he was so so so exhausted. He was usually so much happier and upbeat but today had just been…long.

“Hey, doll,” he said, placing his hand on the back of your head as he urged it forward slightly to kiss your forehead. You placed your hands on his shoulders, squeezing lightly. “What’s wrong, Buck-o?”

He sighed and said “I’m just…tired. And I’m sore, which doesn’t happen a whole lot so that sucks even more. Every little thing just kept going wrong and it seemed like no one was doing their job properly and no one was listening and of course it all ends up falling on me cause I’m the one actually out in the goddamn field”

Your eyes widened a little, he never usually said so much about his days, so he must’ve been really stressed. You moved to kiss his cheek and said “I’m so sorry, babe. Do you want me to run you a hot bath, massage you a little?” “No, no it’s fine. I’m just gonna go make a sandwich and hop in the shower really quick and I’ll be out in the living room in a minute” he said and you groaned.

He smiled and squeezed your hand as he walked off towards the kitchen. You scurried away to the bathroom in your room and ran the bath water, nice and warm, and even put in the bubble bath you normally use.

He came into the bathroom, half eaten sandwich in his hand and shook his head. You smiled and he said “you never do listen, do you?” “I just want to take care of you,” you said, crossing your arms. He slipped his shirt off and finished his sandwich before stripping naked.

You stripped down to your bra and panties, sitting behind him on the edge of the tub and beginning to massage his shoulders. He released a deep groan at the feeling, leaning forward. You smiled, gently massaging the knots out and moving down to his back.

He never felt so peaceful and in love. The sounds of the water moving gently and the feel of your delicate hands easing away the tension in his back were so calming. “I’m gonna cook you some real dinner after this, alright? Not a lousy sandwich” you said and he chuckled.

“I was thinking that soup you like. We still have that loaf of bread the Thomas’s down the hall gave us that you can eat with it” you said and he nodded. He turned around and smiled up at you, making you blush. He leaned up and kissed you, gently holding your hips.

You brush your hands through his hair and nuzzle your nose into his. “You're such a good girlfriend, doll. I’m so lucky to have you, I don’t deserve your love” he said and you shook your head. You kissed his nose and said “you deserve more,”

You slowly got out of the bath, Bucky squeezing your thigh as you reached for the towels. “Rinse your body off before you come out. Do you want me to rub lotion on you?” You asked and he rolled his eyes. He chuckled and said “I’ll do it myself. You’re already doing so much”

“Only for you,” you whined, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He blushed and watched as you walked away, admiring you.

When he came out of the bedroom, warm and snuggled up in one of his Henley’s, he couldn’t help but bury his face into your neck as his strong arms wrapped around your waist. “Hi, Bucky bear” you said softly and giggled, that was always such a silly nickname to you.

He sighed heavily, a lot of his body weight resting on you. “Why don’t you lie down? We can eat in bed. I know you’re exhausted, handsome” you said and he groaned playfully. He hugged you tighter and said “stop. No more. Just let me be” “alright, alright” you said, looking back and kissing his soft lips.

He squeezed your waist and said “smells good” “of course it does. You know I’m a 5 star chef, right?” You said, making him chuckle. You could hear in his voice how tired he was but of course he's secretly clingy and wanted to spend time with you more than anything.

“I’m so excited to sleep in with you tomorrow. Can we have fruit for breakfast? Banana. And those little oranges. Mangos!” He said and you giggled. You turned the stove off and said “I think we can make that happen, Bucket”

He rolled his eyes at the nickname. You turned around and kissed him softly a few times, running your hands under his shirt to caress his warm stomach. “You need to get in bed, mister. Can you even see my face right now?” “Yea, you look like an angel” he said and pecked your lips.

You giggled and pulled some bowls out, scooping the soup into each and keeping Bucky awake while they cooled down. You connected your phone to the Bluetooth speaker on the bookshelf and danced around him, grabbing his hands and making him dance with you.

“Baby you know I can’t dance” he said and you rolled your eyes. You patted his shoulder and said “that’s not true. Steve told me you used to bust some moves back in the day. Back when you were a real ladies man” “I wouldn’t say they were “moves” it was just slow dancing babe. Besides, one look and you put all those girls to shame” he said, grabbing your phone and changing it to a slower song.

He grabbed your hands and put them on his shoulders, wrapping his around your waist. He guided you, eventually burying his head into your neck as you swayed in each other's embrace. “Never felt this way about anyone but you, my soulmate” he said and you smiled, blushing softly.

“Come on, let’s eat before you make me fall in love with you all over again” you said and he smirked. You cuddled up in bed, slurping on the warm soup whilst Bucky admired his favorite girl ever. He eventually fell asleep, snuggled into your side as he snored softly, holding your hand in his sleep.

You set the bowls to the side, not even caring that you’d have to scrape the food off tomorrow because what mattered most now was your Bucky. You ran your fingers through his hair and turned the tv down, slowly drifting off to sleep with him.

Taglist: @auriel187 @kandis-mom @buggy14 @high-functioning-lokipath @wintrsoldrluvr

As of now l'm writing for

Eddie Munson

Lo’ak

Neteyam

Sebastian Stan

Bucky Barnes

CW!Bucky Barnes

Chris Evans

Geralt of Rivia

Henry Cavill

Chris Sturniolo

So just comment the taglist you want to be added to and l'll add you :)

[gennyanydots]

Dagger squad reactions to your class making them Veteran’s Day cards

AN: My class made these for some staff members and I was thinking about how some of the dagger squad would react to getting them.

Rooster:

“Hey babe did you see the cards my class made you on the table?” You ask from the living room. You hear him walk into the kitchen and shuffle through the cards.

“They made me these?” Bradley asks.

“Well yeah. They wanted to thank you for your service. We learned about Veterans Day this week and they know about you so they wanted to make you cards,” you say back and look towards Bradley who has tears in his eyes. “Oh honey! Are you okay?”

He immediately clears his throat and wipes at his eyes quickly, “It’s fine! I’m fine! This is just very nice. I’ve never had anyone color me a picture before. Please thank them for me.”

Coyote:

“Hey babe did you see the cards my class made you on the table?” You ask from the living room. You hear him walk into the kitchen and shuffle through the cards.

“What time does your school start?” Coyote asks you.

“Umm like 9 ish,” you say giving him a funny look as you watch him take out his phone.

“And how many kids do you have?” He asks.

“Umm like 20?” You say.

“Okay so I’ll text you on Monday when DoorDash says the donuts have been delivered,” he says walking towards you and flops down onto the couch next to you.

“What donuts?” You ask.

“The donuts I ordered for your class for making me cards,” he says and grabs the remote and turns on the tv and wraps an arm around you.

You smile and lean against him and kiss his cheek, “What a softie.”

“Yeah, yeah don’t tell anyone,” he says jokingly while smirking.

Hangman:

“Hey babe did you see the cards my class made you on the table?” You ask from the living room. You hear him walk into the kitchen and shuffle through the cards.

“But I don’t even wear camo!” You hear him say from the kitchen.

“Jake they’re 8 and 9 year olds. They barely even know that there are different branches of the military,” you say rolling your eyes.

He comes into the living room and sits next to you pouting, “But it does.”

“Aww poor baby. What happened to it’s the thought that counts?” You ask.

“I’m going to have to come in and teach them what an aviator wears,” he says with a determined look on his face. “Maybe I can get some of the other aviators to come in and talk to them.”

You smile, “I’m sure they’ll love that.”

Bob:

“Hey babe did you see the cards my class made you on the table?” You ask from the living room. You hear him walk into the kitchen and shuffle through the cards.

“These are so cute, baby,” he says while picking each one up and looking at it closely. “They did such a good job!” He puts them all in a pile and starts walking down the hall.

“Where are you going?” You ask watching him.

“To hang them up in my office. Art like this needs to be displayed,” he says as he heads into the office.

About 10 minutes later he comes back out and joins you on the couch and shows you his phone screen. He took a picture of all the pictures hung up, “I love them and I’m going to show everyone at work.”

[cascowriteswords]

[[ @kpforpresident​ ‘s cat snippet reminded me of this snippet of my own sitting in my docs, and since i haven’t actually written anything in forever, i present to you whatever this is. bone apple teeth. ]]

...

Lexa comes through the door on autopilot, head still whirling with different happenings from her workday and buzzing with the quickly growing list of things she has to get done before the end of the month. Keys on the hook, jacket shrugged off and hung up on the rack, shoes toed off and kicked into place near Clarke’s by the door. It’s all muscle memory, similar to the, “Hey, babe,” she calls out into the apartment. She sighs, trying to shake off the stress of her day, and throws her hair up into a loose and messy bun as she pads toward the kitchen where she typically finds Clarke at this time of day. 

Except there’s no Clarke standing by the stove with pasta sauce smeared on her cheek or flour in her hair; and now that she thinks about it, Clarke hadn’t returned her greeting, either. Going still, Lexa listens intently for any cues as to where Clarke might be or what she might be doing, but she hears nothing. Fighting against the worry that is starting to bubble in her chest, she glances at the counter for a scribbled note, then at her phone to make sure she hadn’t missed a call or text. 

Nothing. 

“Clarke?” she calls out as she heads down the hall towards the back of the apartment where their bedroom and the bathroom are. Her hand is on the doorknob to open the door to their bedroom when a shrill, “Don’t come in here!” rings out from somewhere behind the door. 

Lexa pauses, little alarm bells going off in her head at the strange behavior. Again, she tries not to worry- Clarke could be up to literally anything. “Are you alright?” she asks tentatively, hand still poised by the knob. 

“Yeah yeah, I’m okay, I’m just - ow, fuck!”

Lexa flings the door open without thinking about it, respect for Clarke’s wishes momentarily thrown out the door when she thinks she’s in some sort of trouble. She nearly jumps high enough to hit the ceiling when a black ball of fur slams into her legs as it whizzes out the door, bumping into the adjacent wall with a thud before scurrying off into the living room, nails skittering audibly across the hardwood. 

“Lexa!” Clarke admonishes, rising from the floor to also run past where Lexa is standing in the doorway, eyes wide and mouth partially open in surprise. 

She blinks several times while staring after Clarke, who slides on her white socks as she turns the corner and disappears into the living area. “Hey, little one, you’re okay,” she can hear her girlfriend cooing. 

What the actual fuck is happening. 

Lexa gathers herself and follows after Clarke, who she finds sitting crosslegged by the end of the couch, a hand extended towards the crack between it and the wall behind it. A low rumbling growl can be heard from the depths of that space, and it’s then that Lexa notices an angry red welt across the back of Clarke’s hand, blood trickling towards her pinky finger. 

“Clarke - what exactly is behind our couch right now?” she asks, lingering several feet away. She would throw herself in front of a speeding bus for Clarke, but that low angry rumbling sounds distinctly like-

“A cat,” Clarke chirps matter-of-factly, glancing over her shoulder quickly before returning her attention to the crevice-demon still growling behind the couch. 

“Okay,” Lexa responds, nodding to herself. “And why is there a cat in our apartment?” she asks patiently. 

“Monty said his neighbors left her at his apartment complex when they moved. And it’s cold out there, Lexa. It’s supposed to snow tonight.”

“Monty couldn’t take the cat?” 

“He’s allergic.”

“I’m allergic, Clarke.”

“I know. I already placed an online order for Zyrtec at Walgreens, it will be ready for you to pick up on your way home from work tomorrow.”

“How thoughtful of you,” Lexa says, a small amount of annoyance leaking into her voice. Clarke catches it and finally rips her attention away from the cat that clearly wants nothing to do with her, rising to her feet and turning towards Lexa. 

“Sorry, let’s back up a little bit. Hi, babe,” Clarke says, hands settling on Lexa’s waist as she leans in to peck her lips in greeting. “I’m sorry, I know this isn’t what you want to be dealing with after a 12-hour day at work. She really was so friendly outside, but as soon as I let her go in here…” she gestures towards the couch, where the cat is still growling lowly and angrily. “She’s just scared.” 

“Sure, love,” Lexa says, extremely dubious. 

“Can we keep her, please? At least for a little while. We can just try it? If your allergies are too bad and the Zyrtec doesn’t work I’ll make Raven take her or something.” 

Lexa wants to suggest that Raven just takes the cat now, before she spends the next 12 hours with a runny nose and itchy eyes and possibly subjects herself to the real possibility of cat scratch fever. But Clarke flashes big blue hopeful eyes at her and Lexa doesn’t stand a chance. 

“For a few days,” she acquiesces quickly; folds, as Clarke would call it. 

Keeping the cat for “a few days” turns into Lexa hauling a cat tree that’s at least a foot taller than she is all the way up the 4 flights of stairs into their apartment 3 weeks later, and her Gmail being bogged down with emails from Chewy.com alerting her to “deals she may be interested in” for cat food and treats and toys. 

And while she may still grumble when she gets hissed at for trying to spoon Clarke in the middle of the night or steps on a hairball at 5 in the morning with bare feet, Lexa wouldn’t have it any other way. 

[cevansbaby-dove]

Family Issues

Warnings: Just a mom being mean to her daughter and her boyfriend

I wanted to write something about my family i won't say names in this one shot to protect my family

"Chris come on you're going to make me late!" Chris walks out as he brushes his hair. "honey chill you won't be late" he kisses me and smiles. "how did i end up with such a cute girlfriend?" I smile. "Fate?" He laughs and says. "seems like it."

Chris and i flew to Orlando to hang out with my family for birthdays in my family. We are now in the hotel room getting ready to head to my family farm, i get a text from my brother 'jake' (fake name)

jake-Hey sis! u and chris here yet?

becca-hey sorry chris is taking his time 🙄

I look at chris and say. "Babe for the love of god please can we go?" he says. 'ok sorry babe" he kisses me and we head out.

Chris and i get to my parents home half an hours later. i get out and takes chris's hand. I look at him. "You alright?" he nods. "i think so..just uh nervous." i turn and stand in front of him. "i told you i have a big family chrissy, if you want to leave just say something and we'l make something up to leave"

Chris nods. "I'll be fine Beka" he kisses me and i wrap my arms around him and pull away. "I love you" he smiles. 'i love you too"

We walk into the living room and my sister carla (fake name) is in the kitchen making something with my mom, I tighten my grip chris's hand, he kisses my head and i walk in. "hey guys." Carla smiles and says. "hey sis!!" She hugs me and then looks at chris and says. 'Hi nice to meet you."

Chris smiles and says. "nice to meet you too" My mom says. 'your siblings are by the pool." i nod. "nice to see you too mom"

Chris says. "Hi Mrs K" She says. "hmm hm." i say. "um babe why don't we head out?" he nods. 'lead the way."

We walk out and Chris says. "wow fancy pool babe' i smile and say. 'thanks" My siblings say hi to chris and , we sit down and then i say. 'i'll go see if my mom needs help." i kiss his cheek and say. "have funn" Chris smiles.

i walk into the kitchen and say. "hey mom need help?" She says without looking at me. "doesn't your dad need you by his side." I blink. "Really mom!? he's my boyfriend!" She says looking at me. "He's old enough to be-"

i say. "Age is nothing! My god why can't you be happy for me!?" she says. "he's acting like he loves you! he is an actor as you already know!"

I say. "Mom we flew from boston, i mean we could have stayed at home and not come here but i love my family so i came! please let me live my life" She says. "you've always thought you'd marry him uh?" I scoff. "What the hell does that have to do with this?" she says as she looks at me.

"he doesn't love you! he never has and never will! He has so many exs he might make you one very soon then you'll come crying to me.."

I blink away my tears. "I come over after six months of being away and this is how you treat me!? i just..I'm done." She says. 'rebekah your being childish!"

I turn around. "HOW IS THAT TRUE!? I LOVE HIM MOM! JUST BE HAPPY FOR ME!"

I hear a door close and i wipe away my tears and i see chris walking to me. "babe?" I shake my head and walk out.

Chris looks at my mom then follows me down the hall and into my childhood bedroom, I am on the bed sobbing.

"beka? what's happened?" I bite my lip as i try to control my tears. "my mom..she.." chris puts his arm around me and says. "you don't have to tell me."

He kisses my head and i say. "just hold me please." he hugs me. "of course honey"

Two days later.

I am in the bedroom unpacking. Dodger jumps on the bed and smiles. I smile. "hey bubba did you miss us?"

I pet him and say. "yea we missed you too" Chris leans on the doorframe. "want to tell me now?"

I look at him. "My mom just had to say how your too old for me and your just acting like you love me and all that shit"

he says. "beka if i'm the reason then maybe...i don't want to cause a rift with you and your mom.." I look at him. 'what!? no no chris!" He says. "honey.."

I say. "I'm not going to let her win, I know you love me.." he sighs when i cup his cheeks. "babe" i get tears. "Please don't do this.."

I wanted to try a different way of writing just once :)

Taglist: @katherineswritingsblog @patzammit @cutedisneygrl @armystay89

[rosenallies]

I'm feeling 20 for bimbo au? Like maybe Rosie having pent up anger from needing to work so much leading up to christmas and taking it out on Nali :( (obviously they need to make up within the same prompt hehe)

20. saying ugly things on Christmas eve they regret afterwards

——

“Rosie! You’re home!” Denali called excitedly as Rosé came in the front door, just in time for the Christmas Eve dinner he’d spent all afternoon preparing, even going so far as to light candles and dig out the good glassware.

Rosé held a finger up, signaling for Denali to wait as he was in the middle of a phone conversation. “Still working, babe, I just wanted to leave the office before the snow started,” he whispered, leaving Denali in the dust as he headed towards his home office still on the phone.

Denali’s breath caught in his throat as he tried not to cry looking at everything around him. How had Rosé not noticed the set table or the smell of dinner wafting through the house or even the nice new dress and full face of makeup Denali had put on just for him? Did he just not care?

Pulling himself together, Denali stomped down the hall after him, throwing open the door.

“Did you forget it’s Christmas Eve?”

“Denali, I’m on the phone,” he whisper shouted, frustration on his face and in his voice, “can this wait?”

Without thinking, Denali yanked his work phone from his hand, putting it up to his own ear.

“Hi, I’m really very sorry but it’s Christmas Eve and my partner needs to go. I’m sure he will reach out again after the holidays. Thanks and Merry Christmas!” He said, hanging up the phone while Rosé watched in shock.

“Why the fuck would you do that?” He stood up and shouted once it finally hit him what just happened, “that was important business and I’m fucked if this deal doesn’t go through! Do you have any idea what you’ve just done?”

“Yes, I know exactly what I did, I freed up your evening so you can spend it with me, who just spent all day making dinner and making everything nice for you because I felt bad you went to work on Christmas Eve and I wanted you to have something special to come home to. Does that mean nothing to you?!”

“Does it mean nothing to you that I have a fucking job to do?”

Denali hated the way his eyes stung with the need to cry, usually by how when they’d argue about this, Rosé would feel guilty and lay his weapons down, his weapons being his work phone and laptop and anything else having to do with work, but he didn’t back down this time.

“I just wanted to do something nice for you,” Denali said quietly, looking down at the floor to avoid Rosé’s angry gaze.

“Well, why don’t you just get out of my hair then? Someone has to work to pay all the bills around here and to afford all the shit you want all the time. Where did you even get that dress, hmm? I bet you put it on my credit card.”

Stomach sinking, Denali sniffled, playing with the hem of the dress. “Y-you picked it out,” he whispered, almost too quiet for Rosé to hear. He wiped the tears the fell down his cheek, not caring that it was smudging his makeup, “I guess I’ll just go.”

With that, he stormed out of the room as he really began to cry, leaving Rosé alone for the guilt to set in.

In the kitchen, Denali continued to cry as he cleaned up everything from dinner, his appetite gone. Once everything was clean and put away, he headed out to the balcony where he sat against the railing, his knees tucked to his chest as he sobbed, the cold air whipping around him.

He’d been out there for a while when Rosé found him, sighing and sitting on the bench in front of where he sat. “It’s cold out here,” Rosé said, matter of factly, a chill sending shivers down his spine.

“Then go inside,” Denali replied bitterly, not looking up. “You wanted me to leave you alone anyway.”

Rosé shook his head sadly, regret in the pit of his stomach. “I don’t ever want you to leave me alone.”

Denali looked up, red eyed and makeup a mess, making Rosé’s chest ache. “But you said-“

“I said a lot of things I didn’t mean,” Rosé admitted softly.

“You didn’t mean it?”

“No, baby, I didn’t. I spoke without thinking and I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry I hung up your phone call.”

“I shouldn’t have been on a phone call,” he said, holding his arms out for his partner as he started to cry again, “come here, baby.”

Denali crawled into Rosé’s lap, weeping into his neck and grasping onto his shirt. “I-I’m sorry, I won’t ask for things anymore and I won’t bother you, I’m so sorry, please don’t-“

“Hey, hey, no, shhh,” he cooed, “I don’t want you to stop doing those things, I didn’t mean any of it. I love you so much.”

“B-but you said I-I ask for so much and that you w-wanted me to leave.”

“I know, I know, I’m so sorry, baby. You deserve to have everything you want and I promise I never ever want you to leave,” his voice cracked, tears of his own blurring his vision, “it’s not an excuse I’m just so tired of working all the time.”

Denali lifted his head, cupping Rosé’s face and wiping away a stray tear with his thumb. “Then don’t, he sniffed, “all year you’ve been talking about selling the company. Do it in the new year, you’ve brought it up over and over again, I know it’s what you want even if you won’t fully admit it.”

“I know,” he nodded solemnly, “I’m just scared. Everything scares me.”

Gently kissing his cheek, Denali nuzzled into him for both warmth and comfort. “I know but I’ll be there every step of the way.”

Rosé buried his nose in Denali’s soft hair, inhaling his vanilla sugar shampoo. “I know you will, baby, you’re perfect like that. How about we head inside and we can have that dinner you were so sweet to prepare?”

“Okay, you’ll just have to let me go freshen up since I look like a mess now,” he chuckled, a hint of insecurity bleeding through.

Shaking his head, Rosé used the sleeve of his button up to wipe away as much of the smeared makeup on Denali’s face as he could, not caring that the fabric was now ruined. “There, you look perfect. Now, let’s go have a perfect Christmas, I even locked my office up with all my stuff inside and I’ll give you the key.”

The tree full of presents with his name on them be damned, Denali was sure just having Rosé to himself like this would make the perfect Christmas. He felt like crying tears of joy as he threw his arms around Rosé, squeezing him tightly. “I love you,” he said tenderly, meaning it to the core of his being.

“I love you too, darling, you are the most important thing to me in this whole world. Not work, not money, not material things. I’d give it all up for you.”

[iknow-thisisallinmyhead]

Do You Love Him?

Post 6x10 - Chris has some questions for his dad - 2.5k - read on a03

Special shout out to my biffle @they-them-mayhem you inspire me you drive me you flatter me. love you babe. 

Christopher hasn’t ever really seen his dad like this. 

He’s seen Dad upset and he’s seen him worried, he’s seen him stressed and he’s even seen him at rock bottom just last year when he was silently warring with himself. When Dad is upset he doesn't want anyone to know, doesn’t want anyone to see that he’s vulnerable. In every situation, no matter how it’s affecting him, he usually shuts down; sits still, pinches his mouth shut, balls his hands into fists so tight his knuckles are white. He doesn’t pace, he doesn’t fidget, he doesn’t frantically find things to keep him busy. And it scares Chris that he is. 

Is he lying about how badly Buck’s hurt? He thought his dad was being truthful when explaining what happened at that fire: Buck was struck by lightning and his heart stopped and it took time to get him down, it took time to get his heart restarted, it took time to get him to the hospital which left too much time for things to go wrong. But they got him there, they passed him off to the doctors who know how to help. Chris saw him yesterday; he was lying on that small bed looking fragile and fried, asleep just like he has been since he got to the hospital the other night. Dad could barely even look at him lying there connected to all those tubes and machines. The doctors said they were keeping him unconscious so his body could heal, which, Chris knows from his own tenure in hospital beds, is a good thing most of the time. So why is Dad so distraught? 

Christopher’s so worried about Buck he starts Googling. 

There’s only a small percentage of people who actually die when hit by lightning, which helps for only a moment when Chris keeps reading. Neurological issues and muscle problems can be bad, not to mention what happens if it takes too long for you to start breathing again. A lack of oxygen has never been good for anyone’s brain. He puts his tablet away when he starts learning more than he wants to about organ damage. Muscle and neuro issues can be helped with physical therapy. Chris and his dad are pros at physical therapy by now and would be able to help Buck through it. But that kind of organ damage…. 

Chris doesn’t want to think about it. 

He gets up, grabbing his crutches and crossing to his bedroom door to crack it open. He can hear dad out in the kitchen, clattering things around like the silence is the reason Buck got hurt. Slowly, Christopher eases out of his room, shuffling down the hall as quietly as his uneven gait allows. He reaches the living room and peaks in. He can see dad’s shadow through the door to the kitchen, walking back and forth across the room. Chris thinks he’s putting dishes away, but it’s way louder than normal. With his stomach in knots, he creeps across the living room until he can peer into the kitchen. 

Dad forcefully tosses some plates into a cabinet, slamming the door behind them. He turns to the dish drainer, but it’s empty. As Christopher watches, his dad’s tornado of negativity stops waging a war on the kitchen and turns inward; leaning forward, he places his hands on the edge of the sink, head bowed and shoulders slumped. 

“Dad?”

He startles, jerking in surprise. It worries Chris; Dad normally knows he’s there long before he says anything. “Yeah, buddy?”

“Can we go visit Buck?”

Dad takes a shuddering breath before answering, voice shaky as the words come out. “In the morning we can. It’s too late now, the hospital won’t let us go in his room.” 

“Okay,” Chris murmurs.

Dad still hasn’t turned around. 

And it’s just- 

Chris never sees his dad upset. He’s good at sliding on a frozen mask and forcing down his reactions, good at faking a smile, good at sounding convincing when he says,”I’m fine.” Christopher can probably count with the fingers of one hand the times Dad has let him see the truth of what he’s feeling. Since he started going to see Frank again last year things have been getting better bit by bit. He's been working on himself, on being honest with his emotions and being honest with his son. He’s gotten better at opening up, he has. 

But Christopher knows just how much his dad does not like to feel vulnerable. He doesn’t like to admit when things are bothering him, doesn’t like to burden others with his problems, and doesn't like to ask for help. Well, that isn’t entirely true, Dad’s never had a problem with those things when it comes to Buck. Buck can pry the truth from Dad no problem, can offer help without triggering his defenses, can sooth the worries that he’s an encumbrance. Buck’s always been the only exception to Dad’s strictly enforced rules. 

Dad gives so much away to Buck, so much that never gets shared with or shown to anyone and Chris doesn’t think Buck realizes how much of a big deal that is. There is no one else that Dad trusts like that, no one else who is allowed to have so much authority over Chris, no one else who gets to see so much of Dad’s heart. There’s never been another of his father’s friends who stuck around, who has made the effort with Christopher, who has had such a noticeable impact on their lives. 

And that’s not even considering the impact Buck has on just Dad. Chris remembers what it was like in Texas after Mom left, he remembers how much Dad shut himself off from everyone, remembers how much Dad struggled before meeting the blond. Buck showed up and Christopher watched his dad become a different person right in front of his eyes. He has never seen his dad so carefree and cheerful, never seen him smile so much.

Buck is there almost everyday; bringing donuts in the morning and helping with Chris’s homework in the afternoon and spending hours upon hours in the kitchen perfecting a home cooked meal for two boys who can’t cook for themselves. Days that pass without an appearance from the tall blond are days that feel off to Chris, empty and quiet and boring. He’s never asked, but he knows Dad feels the same. There’s an emptiness to his eyes that doesn’t get filled until blond hair and blue eyes and a big goofy grin walk through the front door. Don’t get him wrong, Christopher and his dad get on fine by themselves if they have to, but they haven't had to in so long. Because Buck is always there.

Buck is always there with a smile, pulling dad out of his quiet shell and getting the Diazes to experience the world. He plans hikes and zoo outings and beach picnics and drags them along no matter how much they complain. He’s always there, always glad to see his Diaz boys no matter what’s on the schedule. And Christopher knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Dad is just as happy to see Buck, too. Eddie all but expects Buck to be with them all day, every day, and never complains when Buck wants to do something, even when the younger man has something insane planned. The three of them can pass the time so easily; their outings and shenanigans are always fun, always full of laughter, always just what each of them needs.

Christopher loves Buck, he loves Buck almost as much as he loves his dad. He’s funny and kind and he never makes Chris feel dumb or bad or childish for anything. He’s always there when Chris needs advice or wants to surprise Dad. He’s always there when Chris needs a ride or a distraction. He’s always there when Dad can’t be, and sometimes Chris has to remind himself that Buck isn’t his dad, Buck isn’t even his step-dad.

That doesn’t stop Christopher from wondering what it would be like if he was though.

He knows his dad loves Buck, too, even if he’s never said it in so many words. He knows because Buck is the only one of Dad’s friend’s that has stuck. He knows because Buck is trusted with Christopher’s safety. He knows because Dad is just different when Buck is around. He’s lighter, he’s happier, he’s more at ease than Christopher has ever seen. It gets him thinking about Ana Flores and how stiff and anxious Dad would get talking about her. They dated for a few months and Dad liked her, sure, but she never clicked, she never became a part of their lives. Not like Buck already was at the time, like he has been the whole time.

Ana was his favorite teacher, and he was so happy when Dad brought her home, even if it felt weird that he brought home someone who wasn’t Mom. Chris was so excited at first, so glad it was Ms. Flores. Ms. Flores who told him he was brilliant, who made sure he was listened to, who kept him engaged and interested in learning. Christopher thought she would do the same with Dad, but though Dad seemed to like her, he didn’t like her as much as Chris did. Truthfully, he wasn’t all that surprised when Dad sat him down to tell him she wouldn’t be back. She never became theirs, she was just there. He’s still young, just venturing into his teenage years, but Christopher believes, deep in his gut, that the reason Ana didn’t last, the reason she didn’t become more enmeshed with the Diazes, has something to do with the way Dad compares her to Buck. 

He knows his dad loves Buck and recently Christopher has been wondering if Dad loves Buck a little more than he lets on. If he loves him a little more than you love just a friend. Because Dad doesn’t react like this to just anything; doesn’t cry and fidget and slam doors but here he is with shaky shoulders and shuddering breaths and twitching fingers like the only thing keeping him still is Christopher’s gaze on his back. Like the moment Chris blinks Dad will begin the onslaught again, fighting against the kitchen in the place of the universe. 

Stepping further into the room, Christopher makes a decision. He’s not a baby any more and he and Dad agreed to be more honest with each other. This question won’t get brushed off or given an untruthful answer, not if Chris asks it right now. He doesn’t think his dad has it in him to lie, not when he’s so upset, so tired, so close to reaching another breaking point.

“Dad?”

“Mmm?” Dad turns his head a fraction, still not looking at Chris. It sends a flare of unease through the knots in his belly. 

So he waits. 

Eventually Dad turns around fully, putting his back to the sink and facing his son. “What, mijo?”

Even though Christopher is determined to get an answer he’s suddenly terrified that it won’t match the one he wants, the one he’s been wishing for, the one he knows would make them all happy. His mouth opens, but the words don’t come out. 

If he asks the question things might change. 

Doesn’t he want them to change, though? Dad and Buck are on the edge of something, something that’s been building for years, something that is going to make or break them. Something that is getting harder and harder to ignore. Someone’s got to give them the push.

Stealing himself, Chris steps forward and forces himself to speak. To say the words, ask the question, drop the bomb on their lives. “Do you love him?”

Dad’s eyebrows shoot up as his jaw drops open. For a fraction of a second he looks like a deer caught in the headlights and then he snaps his mouth shut, closing off the expression on his face. He can't meet Chris's eyes, staring instead over his head. “Of course, he’s my best friend, he's family.” He steps away from the sink, heading across the kitchen to Chris looking like he’s about to bolt from the room. 

Chris takes one step back, placing himself in the middle of the doorway. Dad comes to a stop in front of him, eyeing his escape over Christopher’s shoulder. Chris calculated his spot well, though, Dad will have to push him out of the way to escape. “No, Dad,” he starts, looking up to meet his dad's eyes, nearly the same shade of brown as his own. “Are you in love with him? With Buck?” Chris adds, in case his dad wants to continue to play dumb.

Dad inhales sharply through his nose. His face passes through several complicated expressions, none of which last long enough for Chris to get a good read on until it seems to crack right down the middle, fissures spreading across the surface to reveal an entirely new face underneath, one never shown before. The raw love and sadness escaping through the cracks steal the breath right out of Christopher's lungs. 

Dad swallows thickly, closing his eyes briefly. Looking down, he chews on his bottom lip for a moment, deliberating with himself. He opens his mouth but can’t seem to get any words out. He meets Chris's eyes and jerks his head once, twice, three times before licking his lips. “Y-Yeah,” he whispers. He takes in another deep, shuddering breath and it seems like a weight is lifted from his shoulders. Dad opens his eyes back up, purposefully meeting his son’s eyes this time. “Yeah, Chris, I’m-I’m in love with Buck.”

Elation runs through Chris, because he was right! Because both of them are on the same page! Because this means Buck will always be theirs! He grins happily up at his dad, stepping forward. He reaches a hand out to dad, who takes it right away. “Good. He deserves to be loved.” 

He’s not dumb, he knows how much Dad has probably fretted over this. How many nights he’s laid awake terrified over what he feels for his best friend,, over what Chris would think and definitely over what Buck would think about it. He doesn’t have all the answers, but for now he can give his dad this. 

Chris steps forward, opening his arms. Dad pulls him in immediately, hunching around his son’s body and squeezing tight. Christopher hugs back as hard as he can. 

[cunningmosswords]

#02 Twenty-Four Candles

Melting Wax and Years that Pass

"Can you hear the flames' small screams? Melting and mixing with piped icing"

The second issue of Cunning Moss Words is focused on themes of ageing, olive pizza and birthday wishes. It is a mixed diary format highlighting how the years can mix and become memorable or forgettable with each candle that is lit.

Make a wish, blow a breath 

The wax is bleeding over the buttercream 

Can you hear the flames' small screams?

Melting and mixing with piped icing 

From a match to a candle wick 

Trigger lighters and sparks after 

The flames are burning someone’s flesh 

Blistering in sharp drips and reddening skin

Anger shot and bruised days after 

Prep, take a step and smile  

Breath well deep in and blow a gail   

Set the blazing candle men to their death 

To meet a quick insightful, less painful end 

For their sacrifice will grant a high-up wish 

Moulded and stripped from shooting star promises  

Only granted if kept safe in one’s own head 

Till we count them blazing men again and again  

Wait for the coming of another candle to join the list 

As with every year that we manage to live 

Is us, slowly staggering closer to death

Fizzling out like the merry broken candle sticks

Stripped and striped, simmering less bright

With the melting buttercream and piped ice 

Make a wish, blow a breath 

i

The baby sits happily blowing bubbles and smiling with eyes constantly wandering and absorbing. The room is full of people of different heights and tones that murmur and talk, and that room after will never be as full for the years that will come. The walls are smeared in buttercup yellow and the room is neat though three big dogs wander around legs, licking hands that might pass snacks and finding free spaces that would let them curl peacefully within the crowd that has gathered. There are children of young ages running and joking, those who are blood and non blood related, all eagerly waiting for a slice of cake and to peer at the toys the young babe will get during the aided unwrapping. 

The birthday girl in question continues on a giggly flow not letting any frowns or tired eyes change her thoughts, let alone the heavy cast on her leg that weighs her down. That’s what happens when one tries to dance before they know the meaning of walking, but this girl definitely will grow to not accept that lesson easily.  

She sits on her mother’s lap and smiles at her dad with his camcorder as they all sing her birthday wishes in different languages. A burning candle’s flame licks the air with its small but warm form over a yellow custard cake, that is a shade lighter than the walls. She sits confused when they finish her song, so her mother leans forward and blows out the candle as they begin to applaud.

ii

green marzipan, yellow sponge, white flowers, chequered dress, bubbling words, less crowded, candle flame, two instead, scratch that, candle flames, still just one wish.  

iii

Flight overseas / greying skies / dark scarfs / hidden faces / smiles at the door / grandpa’s face brightens / his hands pulling jewels from pomegranates / shared food on the kitchen table / running behind curtains / hide and seek in emptied out cupboards / playing with green marbles that match both our eyes / walking slowly with his slow steps / feeding stray cats milk with deep bowls / hanging by the balcony where the ivy tangles and grows / stickers from Rugrats in Paris go missing / so does their green robot dinosaurs / only Chuckie is left with his red curling astray hair / my hair is cut and my curls die with it / gone missing like those stickers / suitcases are in mid packing for when the trip comes back to home / we share birthday candles on the cake / surrounded by a family close and apart in a land I still have never turned to return to / I would never know his smile again / but the images still play in my head / I wish I can lay flowers where he rests. 

iiii

Dippy stands tall and whole in an echoing hall, cast from different parts to make one version of their spices. The little girl in the red jacket and navy puffer coat doesn’t take much notice of the fact the bones aren’t real, as much as the feeling that she is in the presence of fallen monsters. Her shelves at home are decorated with dinosaur books, videos and figurines, she wonders if she can dig up wonders lost in dirt and stone. 

Her mum and dad guide her through the exhibitions and move her on when she is stuck staring. Moving her through the jerky animatronics and feathered raptors, left wide-eyed from the T-Rex dripping with bloody red teeth and thrown flesh. It is safe to say that even with her admiration, nightmares of sharp teeth would always linger. Maybe some monsters are left lost to the passing years, even with all their wonder. 

iiiii

Five years brought five things with it, five candles on a cake with a dragon flying across a deep gloomy castle, with a rim of multicoloured lollipops to snuff out its darkness. I get sick of their sweetness and instead of hoarding them like gold, I share them with those who would better admire them. 

The room is plastered with banners and balloons in big round five letterings. They are tall and hit the ceiling multiple times with a bounce. It is the only time I get to keep balloons at home because our oldest dog hates their relentless squeaky sounds. He barks a few times but leaves them for me to keep for just this day, though tomorrow they will quickly be deflated for his sake. 

I get my first bike that was not so well hidden in the corner, its bars a deep maroon accompanied with a set of training wheels too. Me and mum try biking in the path in the front yard, she says it is important I know how to ride a bike like she used to in the streets back home. But the streets in London aren’t like the ones my parents used to know.

We hold a pizza party with all the extra olives and invite the girls from my class, by the end of the night I decide I can’t deal with the screams and chatter of the kids in the car, I tell mum this is the last party I want to bring home, better yet only bring the pizza back with us. 

Cake cut, balloons deflated, bike set aside and extra olive pizza well eaten, we play music on the stereo and there is peace from once there was chaos. 

iiiiii

Arcade racing cars / bowling at 10 pins / knocking down only six / the bowling balls are heavy for small hands / it is a bit too loud / the shoes a bit too big / she is not sure if she is meant to bowl with the right or with the left / a bit downcast when she doesn’t hit anything at all / but it’s okay- everyone is happily smiling / McDonald’s fries and birthday cake are delivered / extra ketchup and extra candles / she gets a music box with a fairy / the tune seems to become engraved into her head / she doesn’t remember what she is meant to be wishing when they light the candles / does she ever make a wish? / can she just keep on playing the melody again and again? 

iiiiiii

She doesn’t remember much, apart from unboxing presents, playing with Nintendo dogs and running around the park, playing dress up with not-so-digital dogs and happily eating cake. She could have been at Snakes and Ladders or watching a film in the cinema, that year’s birthday was a bit of a blur. Presumably, her wish was made with seven candles, what she wishes for I can not say. 

iiiiiiii

Martina talks for everyone at the table, though it is commonly known that I am the one who doesn’t know when to shut up. But I am glad for her words since she releases strings of sentences when I feel I don’t have the air to speak them. She is few years younger- our toothy neighbour and a thorn in my side, probably the closest thing I will ever have to a human sister. 

We argue for most of the day and she never seems to leave when it gets too dark, she talks about sleepovers and midnight sneakiness and about all the things she wants to see and absorb in our world. It is quite exhausting. We even argue on my birthday, bickering as we- not gelable people, gel perfectly well together, sparkling and sprinkling like a match until we reset the flame and continue to bicker about lighting the candles and whether she gets to blow an extra wish after I make mine. 

We share halloumi, chips and salad in a Mediterranean restaurant, surrounded by glass lamps and colourful walls and return home to stick even more colourful foil on felty sticker packs that are a mural on the cupboards, the drawers and luckily not sticking on the dogs. I give that set to her when they move, after arguing on her birthday and arguing week to every day. I still have her photo and a scribble of misspelt words thanking me, for what, I don’t remember. They are quite out of shape that I am still not sure what she was writing in her talkative manner or what she wished on that day.  

iiiiiiiii

She spends most of her evenings practising music on a toy keyboard, when she comes home this time around she finds 61 gleaming keys. The keyboard with all its functions and buttons becomes part of the room for the coming years, hurled along for music practice and grade exams, even when the keys are not sitting right and their noise becomes jarring. She will aim for their cheerful notes and broken chords, taking them to bits and rearranging them, accompanied by howling when she plays them aloud and all the anger and sadness when she wants to shred the sheet music apart. But at that moment there’s no focus on breaking, ageing, or not-so-well playing, just the feeling of the possibility of keys that she will spend years playing.

She quickly records a theme of happy birthday and runs back to the cake with its candles, her parents sing and she smiles as the music and the words all go together in time. She blows out a wish as it ends, for what? I am not sure, it is lost to the music that the keys might only know it.

iiiiiiiiii

Christened in Italy in a church with a painting of a knight slaying a dragon, I hate that the artist painted the blood dripping from him. I hold Grandpa’s cross tight and Mum pins my hair back with a fabric rose. I spent the day nervously clutching to Mum and Dad when I can and thinking about how I am doing this for Grandpa who can’t be here. 

Pizza in Italy was dinner and gelato ice cream for dessert and spending time seeing if I can follow the lizards that skitter across the hot pavements here. The day is usually full of the noise of dubbed and re-dubbed telenovelas that sound odd on our tongue, but Grandma loves them and I am not allowed to change the channel at all. So sadly the passing of time is stuck with my cousin who is four years older. 

We argue every day but not a good type of arguing. Not even bickering siblings argue, we fight over how I can not play on the play station or the computer, create evolutions in Spore or skate in Kingdom Hearts. He hogs my Nintendo DS and I wonder when will it all be over so I can return home to my dogs. We plan to go see the sinking city and instead do a 180 to the theme park for he will not stop his crying. I can't even play music on his keyboard or have a meal cooked just for me without him throwing a fit. 

Note to self don't grow up to be such a dick. Is it bad to use a wish, to possibly wish someone away as it seems more tangible than to wish for someone to show care and kindness?

i - i

It is a rainy day at London Zoo and all the animals stay in their sheltered spaces, leaving the guests uninterested and feeling that the day is wasted. The rain however doesn’t stop the birthday girl from running to the glass and the rails, stepping and reaching on her tiptoes to see past the bars. As she is full of a complete sense of wonder for the animals that aren’t human, she is allowed to borrow her dads’ camera and take pictures of the world around her for her eyes can not make out the details of the faces, claws and tails that are hidden in the shadowy sheltered spots of the gloomy weather. 

In particular she stays in what looks like an astronaut helmet to chill with the Meerkats and has to be asked with great patience if she is ready to go to see the next kingdom. She spends the rest of the day jumping and excitedly wanting to learn everything but also questioning the walls, the rails, the bars in the journey. Mum asks her how things are and the girl says “I think I want to live where the wild grows” for the wild seemed a lot more like home than what was built to save them.  

She sleeps for the first time in the car that evening when they drive home, I think she was off dreaming and wishing about running with the wolves, swimming in the sea and learning to climb tall trees. 

i - ii

M&S Rose sponge raspberry cake / no taste of roses / first time horse riding / the horses name is Gizmo / I don't break a bone / or have a fall / though it isn't like riding a bike at all / no training wheels to remove / this bike has a mind to jump the fence / or chuck me off and leave me for dead / cowboys make it look too easy / with the prices bikes might be a better investment / I’d rather turn to talking to horses then trying to ride them / maybe wishing to talk to animals would be a good one / not sure they would want to talk to us though.

i - iii

Sick teen / sleepy eyed / veggie burger dinner / car ride home / tucked under covers / watching trashy tv shows / candles on cake / wish the ache’s away / head against pillow / turn my phone down / warm dog snuggles against feet / decide to ignore the messages I got / is it mean? / I don’t have the energy to question what is what / just played my favourite song and let it wash the light to dark.

i - iiii

The girl leaves giddy from the cinema after being so worried that the movie would suck and her birthday would head down with it. Though that is easily done when the two boys she invited to join her tell her how wrong and odd they think she is, how odd their mother thinks she is, for playing football, for avoiding girly things, for inviting boys out on her birthday rather than the girls from class. She tries to avoid the jabs and takes the shotgun in the arcade and hits the mark on each duck and prays for she would never want to shoot actual ducks. The ticket machine winds up and spits out rolls of tickets. They play for a few hours and she keeps thinking how nobody asked those questions when she was younger or maybe now they have finally started hurting her.

i - iiiii

The girls gift me funny cards, including ones with lots of dogs. We debate what type of half and half pizza to get at the hut and what ice cream to eat after the marvel movies end credits roll and the day is up. We walk around the arcade and make jokes about coming of age. I say ageing isn’t that great, especially when people want you to fit in all these different boxes and chuck you when you don't. They say growing up is great, they can’t wait to move out, to leave the house, to go to uni, to start their own life away. Maybe I am odder than I thought or my box is different from everyone else’s.

I return home for cake and pick another film for family movie nights. Can I wish to not grow up and stay like this forever on?   

i - iiiiii

That year she has no candles, just a lighter that takes too many tries to light as it sparks out each time. Her fingers though they have been playing melodies for years don’t have the strength to spark a flame and hold it in place. Instead she burns her fingers and runs them under cold water. 

She spends the afternoon at a restaurant with her mum, her aunt and her grandmother. Her dad is away making sure his mum is okay, but all she can think about is how he is not here, on her 16th and how empty those digits feel. She tries to put it aside and focus on making it through dinner and not letting bitter remarks hurt her and to keep a smile plastered, if not for herself at least for her mother.

Grandma talks about not eating anything but eats everything, she piles her fork into the girls plate and steals lump sums from the risotto. The now sixteen year old knows the meaning of sharing and caring but she didn’t even get a proper bite in before her plate was half finished for her. Grandma takes offence and says she isn’t diseased for the girl to abandon her food. This time when the chocolate ozzzzing fondant is served with vanilla ice cream, the girl moves her plate far from grandma's reach. It would be the first time she would try one and she wasn’t having a bite stolen without her even offering. People are good at taking when not even asked.

i - iiiiiii

College days means working hard on catching up on all the software I didn’t know before. Tired working eyes, dried from being glued to screens, drawing, writing and editing things. Mum and dad pull me aside and say it’s your birthday no more working endlessly tonight. Sit down, eat dinner, cut the cake, make a wish, get some rest, you will work tirelessly another day. 

We sit down, eat dinner, cut the cake, blow out the candles, get some rest, I wake up and keep working the following day.

i - iiiiiiii

Grassy hills / deers sprinting and munching / walks with dogs / muddy lakes / white swans that bite / this is closest thing to a Londoners countryside / we drive / the window wide open / so the breeze can fill the car / can you wish to get lost in the air like this / in the warmth of springs midday sun?

i - iiiiiiiii

Banana, walnut and cream custard cake loaded with raspberries, is cut a day or two early. It became a tradition to blow out candles with lighters for we somehow keep misplacing the candles and never remember to buy them when they are needed. The birthday itself was spent mostly in and out of classes, presentations and mopping over how long the days are and waiting for the hours to pass down the last few minutes, the sprint back and lock the world out.  

ii - /

The ageing girl holds a smile on her face though her hands are crumbling napkins as she sits in Bella Italia, expression falling, watching her partner ask her to split the bill. She spent the week planning out her birthday, where to go, what to see, she picked a ballet at the Royal Opera House and made sure to get the tickets on sale, she got a coupon on the meal so that her partner wouldn’t have to spend too much, though he insisted it would be alright, he will pay the lump sum. So she eats the mushroom risotto and this time shares the chocolate fondant with its vanilla ice cream as he complains about not wanting to buy two though he could eat three. 

Turns out as the bill is given, the coupon won’t work for that branch, it doesn’t take him a second to spit out let's split the bill now “Excuse me?” She says with a glare, it is not that she has not paid the many bills before but that her birthday lunch gift is completely forgotten about. He stares back deadpan like she is crazy for such a reaction “I thought you said… it’s my birthday?” He returns the glare and suddenly a light goes on and he apologises and stutters, asking her to forget what just happened. 

She pushes the exchange away and focuses on the joy of the day. But everything about him is starting to bite at her. 

ii - i

Locked in, world spiralling, me happy and smiling, twenty one spent thinking the world might end but I am my gladdest curled on the couch watching movie marathons and making dinner with mum. I put worry away and push back any sadness I feel being stuck inside the walls and cast bright looks at the flowers that are booming for the spring. How can I be unhappy when nature seems to be returning to its glory. We have three candles, enough for years 2 and 1 and bake a banana cake with fresh cream. We spend the evening playing UNO cards and arguing over who is cheating and who should have won. I sleep soundly. Wishing this happiness will always stay catching. 

ii - ii

I don’t remember shit, just sadness, irritation, emptiness and wondering when did I or should I fall to bits. I laughed, I smiled, but what was it for, I don’t even recall it just became one blur. I sleep next to my old pup and hear his breathing going on and off, wondering how much sand there is before time tickles down to none. I don’t try wishing for him to live as much as I wish he’d go easily in his sleep, I whisper to him to let go- but I know he is far from wanting to leave. I don’t blame him as I struggle to turn away, desperately, wanting to keep holding onto his paws. 

ii - iii

Third year in a lockdown and dad brings back orange roses for the table, orange as the shade of sunsets this season, they sit beautifully in the room and no matter how I take the photo it doesn’t catch their shade clearly. The cake this time around returns in the same flavour and style and we laugh how the piped chocolate letters are misspelt. That day it snows, ever so briefly and I can’t help but reach my hand out of the window to catch a touch of their cold before the snowflakes dissolve to water drops. Their presence wasn’t meant to last at all. We order take out and I try and not think of loss as there’s one less dog at home this year round. Candle wishes won’t be able to bring back what I want most, and my eyes wonder whether the wax burns the cake like my tears do to my face. 

ii - iiii

2 to the 4 is started with late morning waking to dreary skies, walking with what little glimmer of sun shines beyond those set mood clouds and sit heavily with the birthday girl. She spends this day, with its usual laugh and cheer quite tired and numb, she holds a smile when cutting the cake in the same place the last few years, this is the first time her smile seems fake. She blows out the candles but doesn’t utter much of a wish as a promise to feel better and do better. Her thoughts are too much, crowded on those not here, and what happens when numbers dwindle down to one, she can’t explain why that ache appears, just that it exists here. 

In all the birthday years that pass, from happy ones to the forgetful ones, she wonders if she can collect all their wishes and swap them for a better one. Lay all the candles of the past and re-spark the joy birthdays had for it feels like she is only starting to realise their burning, waxing ways and that their memories dwindle just like the candle flames. 

© 2023 Cunning Moss Words - Written by Anayis N. Der Hakopian

[clouds-rambles]

Hey bestie may I request diluc,childe,zhongli,and venti having a bad nightmare over their s/o wanting to break up with them and when they wake up their s/o isn’t there but really they’re in another room or something if that makes sense!! Thank you 🤑

Hi bestie positively evil... i love it <3 nobody question why zhongli and the reader are married in all my headcanons thanks lmao

Pairings; (Seperate) Diluc, Childe, Zhongli, and Venti x reader

Warning(s); panic, nightmares, hurt/comfort, injury mention

Keep reading under the cut!

Diluc

Diluc wakes with a start, his brows furrowed as he takes a moment to arrange the events of his nightmare in his head

Both you and he had a particularly explosive argument after he had come back injured from a night protecting Mondstat 

You had left the winery after exclaiming that you refuse to date someone who has such a lack of regard for his own life. In the long run you’d be saving yourself from further heartbreak if he ended up dead on the front porch

Diluc wonders if dream you could be right...

The red-head finally notices the cold side of the bed you should be sleeping on. He more than remembers going to sleep with you

Panic sets in at the bottom of Dilucs stomach. He must be imagining things right? You’re probably just in the bathroom

A beat passes

Then three

No, you’re not in the bathroom. He would have heard you by now...

What if the dream was actually what had happened last night. A breath catches in the mans throat as he gets out of bed and throws a shirt on

If he couldn’t find you in his home has he truly lost you?

Diluc speedily walks through the halls of his home, checking the spare rooms, the study, the library, the living room, the dining room, the

Diluc opens the door to the kitchen his heart threatening to break out of his chest at the pace it’s beating when he finally spots you drinking a cup of tea, in your pajamas

Thank the archons it was just a dream

“Diluc, honey, are you okay?” you ask getting up from the table in the kitchen to your sweating, hyperventilating partner

Diluc says nothing but opts to hugging you, his head bowing to your chest as he breaths you in

“Diluc, you’re worrying me” you tell him returning his embrace and rubbing circles on his back

“You weren’t in bed” is all he offers to tell you. You don’t push him on the details of why he is so panicked

“I couldn’t sleep so I came down for a herbal tea” you explain kissing the man on his bed of fluffy hair “I have a cup left in the kettle, I can pour one out for you” you offer

“Please” he breathes, but doesn’t move to let you go from the embrace, you can stand to hold him and tell him sweet nothings for a little while. Tea can always be reheated

Childe

It would only be right, and he suspected as much. You had told him that because of what has recently transpired in Liyue you cannot find yourself to love a brutal harbinger

Maybe its for the best. Childe concludes not paying much attention to his weeping heart. Maybe, you’d be happier not to be under the constant eye and scrutiny of the Qixing, the Milleth, and the watchful eye of Childes own fatui informants

Without much pause form Childes last thought the man finds himself waking in his room, unsure if the dream was reality or his mind playing tricks on him, he feels your side of the bed and notices a distinct lack of warmth... and you

He cries

Childe curls himself up in a ball determined to not get caught by anyone showing such an extreme and out of character emotion, he let himself cry. He’s pretty sure he’s sobbing loudly but he doesn’t care. It’s just him in the house anyway. The one person that he doesn’t mind seeing such emotions has left him

That’s until he hears the distinct click of the bedroom door open “Oh my archon Childe, are you okay?” you ask quickly making your way to the side of his bed and placing a hand on his shoulder

The man looks up to you, he isn’t sure if you’re real 

“I thought-” he starts “I had a-” he tries to find his words without seeming like a crazed person “You weren’t-” 

“It’s okay babe, I’m right here. I’m not planning on going anywhere” you console “I just had an epiphany in my dream and I had to write it down” you add explaining your absence. Childe nods along 

“Stay” he tells you as you wipe the tears out of his eyes. You nod and hum

“Of course” you lay onto the bed and let Childe wrap himself around you

You hum him to sleep and whisper sweet nothings

Zhongli

‘I can’t love you anymore Zhongli, I feel obligated to come back to Liyue after every adventure, it’s starting to take a toll on me’

‘But our vows, [name] we made a contract at the altar’

‘To love each other, yes? Zhongli there’s no love left in this marriage, you sleep in the spare bedroom whenever I’m back, we sit in silence over dinner, I don’t think I’ve kissed you in months. The lack of love itself is the breach in the contract’

‘But I-’

‘Think about it, do you really feel the same love that you felt on the day we got married?’

‘[name]-’

Zhongli wakes up with a start, his heart beats a little fast for a second. The man convinces himself it’s just a dream he had, but the coldness of your side of the bed seems to speak otherwise

In all fairness, Zhongli should have rationalised his dream before he started wondering the house like a mad man. The only time he sleeps in the other bed is when you’ve suffered an extreme injury, dinners are often spent with jolly laughs and conversation. And Zhongli prides himself on the amount of affection he gives you around the house... and in the bedroom

But most things aren’t making sense in his head right now

“Zhongli my love” you call him upon noticing him in the hall. You had just come out of the bathroom after a midnight toilet break “Are you okay darling?” you ask placing a hand on his shoulder

The tenseness in Zhongli’s shoulders dissipate as soon as you initiate the touch

“I love you” he tells you, the declaration is out of nowhere to you. But you smile at him and embrace him

“And I love you too” you pause bringing up your hand baring the ring that sits on it “And this ring is a reminder of our vows and my unyielding love to you” you tell him with a smile

Zhongli chuckles at you and returns your hug “You seem to always know how to comfort me my dear”

“It’s because I’m a mind reader” you jest matching your spouses chuckle

Venti

Disappeared. So much so that the thousand winds could tell Venti that you were in fact not in Mondstat and had travelled to Liyue from the time Venti was playing music in the tavern to when he knocked for you early the next morning

The only trace you left was a letter. Unmistakeably written by your hand

‘Venti, writing this in a letter is much easier than saying this to your face. I am quite simply tired of your antics, no matter try to talk to you, you seem to always brush me off. Be it the nights you spend at the tavern, my general concern when you disappear for days at end just to tell me you were at the thousand winds temple, stormterrors lair, or windrise, no matter how much I tell you I checked all three. Being in a constant state of concern isn’t good for me, it’s emotionally draining and I’m terrified of finding you dead somewhere, despite your archon blood. By the time you read this I’ll be in Liyue where I’ll be staying with a friend for a while. Tell me I’m going somewhere you can’t follow, and I’ll tell you this is how I have felt many a night. I wish I could have kept loving you, [name]’

A harsh way to break up Venti admits to himself rereading the paper a few times before waking up

A dream?

Venti holds his chest, surely a dream couldn’t conjure such a horrific sinking feeling that makes him want to just vomit

Looking to your side of the bed for your comfort the sinking feeling intensifies when he doesn’t see you

So it wasn’t a dream? Venti doesn’t want to call on his kin, the thousand winds, again just to be told once more that you’re currently in Liyue sipping tea with this cousin you had mentioned in the letter 

The archon sits up in bed and takes deep breaths, he doesn’t want to explain to anybody that he had a panic attack over your horrific breakup letter, no no

After calming his breaths Venti steps out of bed with a shaky few steps before walking downstairs to engage in the typical breakout routine. Snacking. Maybe when you left you had elected to ignore some of the snacks you love to litter about your abode

When Venti walks in to the living room towards the kitchen he sees you nursing your head on the couch

“[name]?” he asks in almost disbelief

“Hm,” you answer before looking up to Venti “Oh hey love, sorry I’ve got a headache” you greet properly after a moment. Venti grins at you which causes you to tilt your head. Why is your headache so grin worthy? Weird...

“Would you like some paracetamol?” he asks walking beside you, you shake your head

“I just took some” you reply looking up at your partner “Though I’d love to rest my head on your thighs” you add. Venti more then obliges and settles down on the couch

“You know I had the strangest dream” Venti tells you after a prolonged amount of silence, you hum to let him know you’re listening “You left me” he says bluntly

Oh

Damn

You bring yourself up to Venti’s face with a smile and give him a kiss “I love you Venti, I wouldn’t leave you for even the prettiest lyre” you half console half jest

“That’s because the prettiest lyre is mine” Venti chuckles and you nod pressing another kiss to Venti’s lips

guys it’s 2.42am I’m so sorry if there’s grammatical errors, my brain isn’t catching up rn

[thisismyyearhenderson]

Don’t let him go

battinson x fem!reader

word count - 965?? quick read

A/N - Hey yall!! This is my first time writing! Pls read becuz i think its pretty good. its basically an angst, fluff thing, with a VERY SUPER !!yummy!! plot twist. Be prepared to sob and scream!!! Lmk if you want a part 2!!!

warnings- crying, tiny amount of blood, yelling, angry bruce

You lay in bed, legs shuffling against the white silk sheets. Eyes barely opened, you look out into the open space of the bedroom, you hear the ever so quiet sound of water running, and see the open bathroom door. Your mind runs, ‘Who?… What?…’

Oh. Right.

Bruce is hunched ever so slightly over the marble sink, and his right hand is putting his toothbrush into the cup beside him. He stretches into his large frame and looks into the mirror, rubs at his eyes and trying to stay quiet, walks out of the bathroom.

At this point you’re already awake and leaning against the palms of your hands, sitting up in Bruce’s bed. You’re wearing your pyjama set. Long navy pants that reach the floor when you stand, held up with the drawstring, with a matching camisole that hangs low on your frame.

“Mmm.” You rasp at Bruce, while slowly pulling the tangle of sheets off your legs. “Fuck.” Bruce mutters, bringing his hand up to his face, covering one of his eyes. “I’m sorry. I knew should’ve used the guest bathroom.” He lets his hand fall, and walks over to you. “Don’t be stupid, babe. It’s like, seven. I should be up already.” You say, your voice already clear from the morning scratchiness. Bruce sits next to you on the side of the bed and looks at you, he sighs slowly, but somehow so heavy, it fills the air with a tension that wafts through the room. “Babe? What.. what happened?” You mumble while pulling his dark wet hair behind his ear. His gaze, tears through you, like a caustic force, slowly burning through each cell, each atom of your being. Your hand lingers on the cold of his hair, hand traveling over to his face and neck. You feel at the usual scars on his collarbones, and notice new cuts on his shoulders, under his t-shirt. “Leave it.” Bruce quipped. He tensed under your touch, and stayed like that as you pulled away. You felt warm on your fingers, you glance at them, dreading the obvious.

Blood. Ugh, fuck.

“Jesus! That’s, you- I’ll be right back.” You said as you stumbled out of bed and made soft strides to the bathroom door. “I said, leave it.” He grunted under his breath. You stopped in your tracks, your hands froze from their constant fidgeting. Your face set in stone, in borderline terror. His voice boomed again, and again, in your mind.

Your hands started trembling, and you clutched them together to calm them. Your face relaxed and you continued to the bathroom. You tried to ignore his irate attitude, and pulled at the drawer, to pull out a small box of first aid supplies. You shut the drawer and quickly walk out into the bedroom.

Where…? Fuck!!

Bruce was gone. You hands clutched the kit, and quickly ran out of the bedroom, bare feet tapping against the floor. You run to the hall and to the stairs. You look down from the staircase and see him walking slowly past the large dinner table. “Oh thank god!” You whisper. You clumsily speed-walk down the wooden stairs and run up to Bruce in the kitchen. He’s standing at the sink, dipping a paper towel under the stream of running water and bringing it up to his right shoulder.

“Bruce! Let me do this! You- you, can’t!” You growl softly, while waving the aid kit at him. He looks at you, with that same piercing gaze and you notice more, cold, in his eyes. “Leave it!! If I told you to leave it, then I can do it myself, damn it!” He utters in a hushed yell.

“I- I, uhm. Ok.” You set the first aid kit down onto the counter next to him, and look at his eyes. They look glossy, and tired. ‘Is he- is he, about to cry?’ Your face moulds into a slight expression of shock. “Bruce. Please, just.. Talk to me.”

His hands drop from his shoulder and he throws the towel into the sink. His hands fall at his sides, and his breath hitches, violently. He looks down at you, a torrent of tears falling from his eyes as his face remains horridly stagnant. He doesn’t move an inch as tears stream down his face. “Let’s go sit on the couch.” You mumble towards him as you wrap your hand around his wrist, pulling him ever so slightly.

Bruce’s large frame, so copiously filled with a woe so heavy, he seems as little as a child. This is what he always fears. That instead if breaking down in the BatCave, or during his night shifts, he will snap in front if you. Prince of Gotham. Vigilante Of Gotham City. Sobbing on a couch in his mansion.

He sobs so quietly, you can barely hear it. You hear hitched, tremulous breaths, and thats about it. You sit close next to him. Wiping the warm tears from the deep gutters of his eye-bags. His hands shake so violently, like nothing you’ve seen before. His hands pull onto your waist, gesturing for you to get on his lap, you oblige. Bruce’s whole being shakes against you, hands trembling on your waist. You wrap your hands around his neck, gliding your fingers over his spine. His calloused hands, placed on the bare nape of your neck, pulling you towards him.

Bruce holds you so close to him. So, so close. All your senses are in fire and you want to sob with him. You can feel the warmth, that you’ve never felt so strongly before, buried deep inside him.

“Im so sorry.” He repeats over again, as he trembles against you. You shush him so quietly only he can hear it. “Im so sorry”

That is the last thing you remember about him.

[stonedregulus]

Christmas-Themed Movie Snack

“He’s still awake,” Regulus mumbled, rubbing his eyes as he looked at the baby monitor. The three-year-old was sitting up in his bed, clutching onto a stuffed Rudolph staring at the door expectantly.

“Reg, it’s already midnight and we haven’t even started building this play kitchen. I think we should just start,” James whined, placing the last wrapped present under the tree.

Regulus shook his head, “He’ll hear us.”

“He doesn’t hear us when we do other things,” James grumbled under his breath.

“That’s because he is asleep when those things happen,” Regulus sighed, flipping through the Christmas movies available. “Elf?”

“My favorite,” James grinned back at him as he stood up and crossed to where Regulus was half-buried under three different red and white Christmas blankets. “Can I snuggle with you?”

“Is that even a question?” Regulus asked, lifting the blankets so James could scoot in next to him. As the opening music of the movie played on the tv they heard Harry’s door creak open quietly.

“Harry, if you don’t go to sleep Santa won’t come!” James said loudly and they heard the door close again. “Maybe he won’t be able to hear us building it over the noise of the movie.”

“Let’s give him a few more minutes. I can’t believe he’s still awake. He’s gotta crash soon, right?”

James looked at his husband and rolled his eyes, “He gets his insomniac tendencies from you.”

“Listen, I didn’t get to pick which traits I passed on to my kid okay?”

“I’m so glad he got your eyes,” James chuckled, pressing a quick kiss to Regulus’ temple before resting his head on his shoulder.

“You’re sweet.”

“I am, actually,” James whispered, kissing his shoulder.

“We don’t have time to do that right now.”

James scoffed, “We’re watching a movie!” Harry’s bedroom door creaked open again.

“Harry, sweetheart, Santa isn’t going to come! Go to bed, love!” Regulus called and the door clicked closed again.

“He’s gonna be up at five, you know.”

“Good thing coffee exists,” Regulus mumbled before gesturing at the tv. “Really though, how did Santa not realize there was a baby in his bag?”

“Good question, babe. Hey, we should make popcorn.”

“We should have a Christmas-themed movie snack.” James sat up quickly, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. “What are you smiling for?” Regulus chuckled as he watched his husband grab the Santa hat off of the side table lamp and pull it onto his head.

“I can be your Christmas-themed movie snack,” James said, wiggling his eyebrows playfully as he crawled back across the couch over Regulus who broke out into peals of laughter.

“You are ridiculous.”

“Yeah,” James grinned, kissing him less than chastely as he rolled his hips down, causing Regulus to let out a breathy moan. The door creaked again.

“Goddammit,” James sighed, pulling away from him.

“Okay, get off,” Regulus pushed him and he fell dramatically onto the floor with a loud huff. Regulus chuckled and stepped over him, walking down the hall quickly to where Harry’s silver-grey eyes were shining with the glow of the twinkle lights that had been placed around each of the door frames.

“Harry, love, you have to go to sleep,” He whispered, crouching down to his eye level. Harry’s eyelids drooped sleepily as he raised his arms gesturing to be picked up. Regulus did so, cradling him to his chest as he stepped into the room.

“Papa, I want to see Santa,” Harry said quietly into his hair.

“I know buddy, but Santa won’t come until you’re asleep,” he said, pressing a quick kiss to his black curls before setting him in his bed and tucking him in.

“Love you, Papa,” Harry yawned, pulling his stuffed reindeer into his arms.

“Love you too, baby. Sweet dreams,” Regulus smiled watching Harry’s eyes flutter closed as his breathing deepened. He tiptoed out of the room, shutting the door silently before making his way back down the hall to see James sitting surrounded by wood.

“Want some help?” Regulus asked, raising an eyebrow at the confused look on his husband’s face.

“I just don’t know where to start.”

“Directions are usually helpful in this situation,” Regulus chuckled, picking the piece of paper with a diagram of a play kitchen off the floor behind James. “Hey if we get this done quickly maaaaaaybe we’ll have time to do other things?” He winked at James whose eyes lit up.

“Yeah, okay come on,” James grinned, pulling him down onto his lap. “I’m motivated now, let’s get it done.”

“You’re adorable.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, but we can’t build a kitchen in this position.”

“Fiiiiine,” James groaned, placing a quick kiss to his lips before picking up a board, “Okay, what’s first?”

[dreamescapeswriting]

Stray Kids Reaction | Uses Your Insecurities Against You [Request]

`A/N: The anon is right by the way you’re all beautiful in every way possible, including the anon that requested this. I love you all! Stunning, beautiful peopl all of you! ~ M

CHAN: Insecurity: Clingy

Chan rubbed the bridge of his nose as he stared at the screen in front of him trying to grab some ideas from the air, he had been suffering with writer's block and it was starting to get to him. Normally if he was suffering with it he would call you over, you were his constant muse but this week he wanted nothing more than to be left alone. He was stressed from being put under pressure from his managers to finished a certain amount of songs, as well as making sure he and the rest of the boys were staying on top of their practice. Everything was just piling up on top of him and he didn't need you around to add to the pile, as much as he loved you being there he just needed some peace and quiet which he soon realised wasn't going to happen,

"Jisung told me you were feeling shitty so I bought your favourite snacks," Your voice that was normally heavenly to Chan only made him cringe as he realised you were here. 

"Hey babe, do you mind coming back later? I really need to get this done," He turned around on his chair to face you, trying to get you to leave quickly before things went south but you stood your ground, placing the small basket of food down onto the coffee table. 

"I also got your favourite hot drink, I figured you could use a pick me up." You began explaining everything that was in the basket but it only annoyed him more as you listed everything, ignoring his request for you to leave.

"We can sit on the sofa and eat while you relax for a while-"

"Fuck! Have you always been this clingy or is it just as of late?" Your heart sunk as you stared at Chan who was red in the face, it was now that you took in his dishevelled appearance it looked like he'd slept less than usual and he was clearly beating himself up over something so you let the comment pass. 

"I was just- I wanted to make sure you were okay," Your voice cracked as you tried to get over the comment, moving closer to Chan who simply rolled away from you on the chair and shook his head at you. 

"I want you to leave. You're so fucking clingy! I can't do anything without you being right there on top of me, it's exhausting having a partner who doesn't know what space is!" He was yelling loudly enough that the staff outside his studio had stopped speaking to hear what was happening in the office but you felt like you shrunk in size as he yelled at you so without another word you left him there. Chan knew how insecure you were about being considered clingy, your exes had all said the same thing to you so when you began dating Chan you told him about it, not wanting to have the same problem. You never thought, in a million years, that he of all people would use it against you.

(X)

Later that night there was a knock on your apartment door, thinking it was just the food you'd ordered for yourself you got up to answer it to see Chan standing there holding the basket of food with a giant smile on his face. 

"What do you want?" You asked plainly as you stared behind him, hoping your pizza would arrive so you could take it and shut the door. 

"To tell you how sorry I am," You scoffed rolling your eyes at him, 

"You know exactly how insecure about that I am and you still-" You began sobbing as you thought back on what he said, all he did was wrap his arms around you tightly. Pulling you into a hug, his hugs were the answers to all of your problems, no matter what you were going through as long as he hugged you everything else seemed to be insignificant to you.

"You know how insecure I am about that," You managed to say through sniffles as he kissed the top of your head, rubbing your lower back as he repeated how sorry he was to you. 

"Things with work have been stressful...I just- You weren't listening and I needed you out of there." He knew it was never going to make up for what he had unintentionally said to you but he was going, to be honest with you from the start and tell you what happened. 

"I'll make it up to you if you let me." He whispered as he continued to hold you in his arms, kissing your cheeks as you nodded. 

"Start by paying for my pizza," You sniffled, wiping your eyes when you saw the delivery man walking over in your direction, 

"Anything for you," Chan whispered, handing you the basket so he could get out the cash.

MINHO: Insecurity: Not having Friends (One of my many insecurities lol)

As soon as Minho heard your voice from the hall he rolled his head against the floor of the dance studio, 

"I thought it was just us today," Hyunjin said to Minho, confused as to why you were in the building when it was supposed to be a private practice between him and the boys this afternoon.

"It is," Minho grumbled as he glanced over at the glass panel on the door, you were stood talking with Nayeon so he wrecked his brain at some kind of excuse to get you to leave without being so mean about it. The boys were all stressed out, Kingdom was getting harder with every week so they were having to step up their game, every second of practice alone was important to them. With you there, they weren't able to get anything done. 

"Hey Babe, guys! I got you all some lunch and I figured we could hang out this afternoon?" You glanced over all of their faces and the boys turned to look at Minho for help, none of them wanted to be the ones to send you home but it needed to be done. It was probably best it came from your boyfriend rather than the boys who were just friends of yours, 

"Don't you have plans with any of your friends?" Seungmin tried to come across as friendly, hoping you would somehow get the hint that they wanted you to leave but Minho laughed loudly at the comment. 

"Y/n doesn't have friends, that's why they're always clinging onto us," The room seemed to fall into silence, all that could be heard was the air-conditioner and your rapid breathing as Minho used your number one insecurity against you in front of everybody knowing full well that it hurt you more than anything else he could have said to you. 

"Y/n!" Minho yelled out as you backed out of the room without another word to him, the other boys looking shocked at him as he called you to come back to him. 

"Give them some space...Y/n will just want some time to cool off," Chan said as he placed his hand on Minho's arm wanting him to calm down before he spoke to you but Minho couldn't concentrate on anything else but the look on your face as he said that to you. 

(X)

Minho stared at you from across your apartment as you waited for him to say something, he'd let himself in with his key but you weren't speaking. He'd been sitting on the sofa for an hour without either of you talking, he was just as stubborn as you were about things but he knew he was in the wrong this time. 

"Why did you say it?" That was all you wanted to know, why he'd felt the need to use one of the biggest things you were insecure about in front of everyone, laughing about it as if it was something funny when it wasn't. 

"I just- I need you out of there, I've been stressed and I know that will never be a suitable excuse but I was." You rolled your eyes at him, sitting down on the opposite sofa to him as you listened to what he was saying, 

"You could have told me, I would have left...I know how much stress you're all under for Kingdom," You whispered as you looked down at your hands, wondering if he really found it funny that you didn't have many of your own friends, you were new to Korea it wasn't as if you weren't trying. 

"What I said was out of order, nothing I can do or say will make up for it but I'm hoping you'll let me try...I never meant it, you know that." You knew deep down he hadn't meant it but you didn't want to forgive him so easily and seem so weak,

"Fine but...I want to be alone tonight, I just want some space." You whispered as you glanced up at him, he nodded and walked over to you giving you a kiss on your forehead. 

"Call me when you're ready to speak, I'm sorry." He whispered before you kissed him again, letting him go out of the door. 

CHANGBIN: Insecurity: School/College work

it out on one When Changbin walked into the dorms that night and heard you laughing loudly with the guys he frowned, you were supposed to be at home studying for your exams that were coming up not here with his friends. 

"Y/n? I thought you had an exam tomorrow." He said plainly as he walked into the room, you stopped laughing as you glanced over at him and nodded your head. 

"I do, I was just coming over for a break and I ran into Jisung," You looked over at Jisung who was still red in the face from laughing, Changbin grew with jealously as he watched the two of you giggling while trying not to laugh.

"This is why you keep failing the exams," He mumbled not thinking you could hear him as he walked into the kitchen but you heard him and your face fell, 

"What?" Your voice cracked as you waited for him to repeat what he had just said to you, nothing but the sound of the tap dripping could be heard. 

"Nothing." He grumbled, Jisung attempted to slowly leave the room without being noticed but you took his wrist in your hand, 

"What did he say Jisung?" Changbin stared at the younger member with a look that said he would kill him if he said anything. 

"I wasn't listening," It was clearly a lie but you let him go before grabbing your stuff, 

"That's great, you know. You confide in your boyfriend that one of your insecurities is that you failed an exam and he uses it against you," You said snarkily as you began heading towards the door of the dorms, wanting nothing more than to go home and be left alone but Changbin followed you out. 

"I didn't mean it, I was just-"

"You were just what?! Stressed? So, what? You thought. 'I know let me just take it out on my partner, who's already having a rough enough time without their boyfriend being rude about it'" You yelled before leaving the dorms, making sure to slam the door so he knew you didn't want him to follow you back home.

(X)

A week had passed since your little yelling match with Changbin, he'd been doing everything he could to say sorry, sending flowers, chocolates and teddies to your apartment to try and make up for everything he had done. Then there were the calls, voicemails and texts telling you how sorry he was for what he had said to you, that he hadn't meant it. You finally gave up on ignoring him when you realised you were both just stressed and it didn't mean you had to take it out on one another. 

"I'm sorry," You said in unison as you opened the door to your apartment to see him standing there with a bunch of flowers in his hands, 

"No, I'm sorry." You said in unison again before laughing with one another, Changbin put the flowers down on your kitchen side before bringing you into a hug and kissing the top of your head. 

"I promise that it won't happen again, I've been stressed at work and that's one of the worst excuses in the world but I'm really sorry-" He was cut off when you kissed him softly, telling him that it was fine, you'd been stressed out as well and you shouldn't have ignored him for as long as you had done. 

"How did your exam go?" He whispered as he pulled you into a tight hug, 

"I passed." You laughed softly, kissing his chest as he told you his plans for congratulating you. 

HYUNJIN: Insecurity: Not Being Good enough for him

You ran your hands down the outfit you were wearing for the award show the boys had invited you to go along with them to and you sighed, you looked great but you thought back on what everyone else was going to be wearing. All of those people around Hyunjin who were going to gain his attention within seconds, 

"You ready to go? Whoa," He whispered as he walked into your shared room to find you in the most stunning outfit he'd ever seen you in, he walked over and kissed you softly. 

"Looking good babe," He complimented but your heart dropped, "good" wasn't what you wanted, you wanted to look great. So great that he wouldn't be able to take his eyes off you all night, 

"I need to change, it's not right." You mumbled, heading into the wardrobe to try and find something that would meet your standards that you had set in your head. 

"You don't have to, you look good." You ignored him as you pulled out different options up to your body trying to find the best one, 

"I don't want to look good, I want to look great." You whispered not thinking he could hear you but he watched you from the door shaking his head, 

"You always look great, it doesn't matter what you wear," You looked over at him and shook your head this time, 

"But they're going to be people, that will look better...You will look at them and want to be with them instead." He rolled his eyes at you, leaving the wardrobe to go and wait for you outside not wanting to listen to this over and over again. 

"You always think that I'm going to leave you for someone else, why? You're all I want." He was getting tired of telling you this and you never believe him, it was like a broken record. 

"Maybe I should spend my time looking for someone who would be good for me, someone who wouldn't spend so much time getting ready," He snapped not meaning it, he was stressed from work and the award show but you came out of the wardrobe in sweats. 

"What are you doing?"

"Well, I'm not going. Spend the night finding someone that can be good enough for you," You remarked before looking yourself in the en-suite, ignoring him as he banged on the door for you to come out.

(X)  

Hyunjin walked into the room later that night to find you curled up in bed with his shirt on, he crawled in behind you and kissed your shoulder softly. 

"You know I didn't mean it right, you're perfect for me...Sometimes you're too good for me." He whispered as you pretended to be asleep, 

"I know you're not asleep because you're not doing that little snorting thing you do when you're sleeping," You began making the snorting noise as he laughed softly, kissing your cheeks and turning you around to face him,

"There is no one in the world I want, I only want you for the rest of my life," He admitted as he kissed your lips over and over again, telling you he was going to remind you every day how good you were until you began to believe and listen to him.

JISUNG: Insecurity: Don’t earn as much as him

It was no secret that you didn't earn as much as your boyfriend Jisung did but that was because he was famous and you just happened to serve in a restaurant and work in a bookstore in the week. 

"We're all going to split the bill," Jisung announced as he looked at the waiter who had asked had you and the boys wanted to pay for your meal that night, you looked at the receipt nervously thinking about how you were going to pay for it. 53000 won wasn't exactly the cheapest meal in the world, you figured you would all pay for the food you had ordered for yourselves which was why you'd gone for the cheapest items on the menu. 

"Well, Changbin is the birthday boy, we shouldn't make him pay. Let's split between the eight of us," Felix said as he bought out his wallet, you began to grow with anxiety as you realised you weren't going to have enough to cover it. 

"Here, mine and Y/n's half," You stared at the wad of cash that he placed down and then up at him as he smiled at you, kissing your lips. 

"I got you, baby, I know you don't have a lot so I figured this was my treat." Your mouth fell open as he said that in front of everyone and the boys awkwardly looked away from you, doing anything they could to not pay attention to you. 

"I can pay for my own meals," You whispered not wanting to make a scene in such a fancy place but Jisung didn't see a problem with him putting money down for the two of you. 

"I know you don't earn as much as me, it's no big deal it's just money." A hiss sounded from Changbin as he realised Jisung was saying the wrong thing right now so all you did was get up, 

"Well, this person who doesn't earn as much as you is leaving to catch a cab. Don't worry Jisung, I can afford it." You snapped, moving out of the restaurant leaving Jisung shocked as he watched after you, not seeing the problem in him offering to pay for your food. 

"Dude...Bringing up that they earn less than you? Harsh," Changbin whispered as he patted Jisung on the back before getting up to leave. 

(X)

Watching him from across the room you waited for Jisung to say something, he'd come to your apartment begging you to let him inside so you did. 

"What is it? Come to mock me some more for my jobs?" He sighed as he stepped closer to you, only for you to back up against the wall not wanting him to touch you right now. 

"You know I never meant it like that, I just...I thought I was doing a good thing." You shook your head as you rubbed your arms, 

"Doing a good thing would be if you didn't announce to everyone on our table that I make less than you," You mumbled as you thought back on the boys all staring at you, it felt as if you'd shrunk in size with the way they all stared at you.

"Babe please, I didn't mean to I thought I was doing a nice thing." You shook your head rubbing your temples as the headache you'd gotten increased, 

"Whatever Jisung, just...lock the door on your way out," You turned away from him only for him to take you by the hand and pull you close. 

"You know I would never do something that spiteful to you on purpose, I was stressed, it slipped out, I didn't mean to use it against you." You could tell by the look in his eyes how sorry he was and the thought of curling up beside him to fall asleep was too good to resist right now so you gently kissed his lips. 

"Next time we eat, I'm paying." You mumbled, dragging him  into the bedroom to get some well-earnt sleep.

FELIX: Insecurity: Emotionless/Cold hearted

According to everyone around you, you were that cold and heartless person that everyone tended to steer away from which was why it was so hard for you to believe someone like Felix, who was the living embodiment of sunshine, would want to date someone like you. 

"All I'm saying is, you could have been a little bit nicer." He mumbled as you stood in the dorms, Jisung had been crying about a fight he'd had with Chan earlier that day and you told him to grow up about it. 

"All I said was that he needed to grow up," You were confused as to why he was so angry over something so small, Jisung hadn't seemed that upset over it and it was him you were talking to. 

"You're so fucking emotionless! He was crying Y/n and you told him to grow up!" You felt your body slump as the words left his mouth, you could take that from everyone around you but not him, not Felix. Felix was the one that made all of your insecurities melt away, the one you felt happy with but now he'd just thrown that back in your face and it looked as though he hadn't even noticed. 

"How do you do it? How do you get away with being so cold to everyone around you, he was clearly hurt and needed our help and you fucking made it worse." You looked over at the dorm bathrooms wondering if you could make a run for it while he was ranting with his back to you so you did. Shutting the door as you slid down it, crying into your knees as you remembered the way Felix looked at you as if you were a monster. It wasn't that you were emotionless or cold to everyone, there were just some feelings you didn't understand. 

"Y/n! I'm sorry!" He banged on the door as soon as he realised where you were, trying to get you to come out as he heard you sniffling from the other side of it. 

"Please, I didn't mean any of it Y/n, you know that." You continued to cry into your knees, wanting nothing more than for him to leave and go into his room so you could sneak out and go home but he sat there on the other side of the door and waited. 

(X)

You finally emerged an hour later when Chan knocked on the door telling you he needed to use the bathroom, Felix was waiting for you with open arms but you attempted to move away from him, failing as he hugged you from behind. 

"I'm sorry, I was just stressed and overwhelmed with work, I shouldn't have taken it out on you," He whispered as he kissed your shoulder, watching you as you kept your eyes forward on Jisung who was talking to Chan about that day.

"You were right though, he did need to grow up...I shouldn't have said what I said to you and I am really sorry Y/n." You knew that no matter what Felix was going to keep saying sorry until you forgave him, 

"You're right there, I am-" He kissed your lips softly before you could tell him you agreed with yourself being emotionless, 

"I don't want to hear that, it's not true...Remember when I broke my ankle and you were there taking care of me," You nodded and he continued to list off everything you had done for him, the boys and all of your friends when they were sick or injured. 

"I don't want to hear that again," He kissed your nose and you nodded before kissing him softly to stop him from saying sorry again.

SEUNGMIN: Insecurity: Not successful like other people your age

Your eyes glanced over the wedding invitation sitting on your coffee table, yet another one of your friends were getting married and you were happy for them. You would always be happy for someone who was doing well in their life but everyone you knew seemed to be getting married, having babies, getting their dream carers all the while you seemed to be stuck in the same place moving nowhere in your life. 

"Why the long face?" Seungmin asked as he brought over your plate of food, the two of you were having your date night at your place tonight since the boys were all at the dorms and you wanted some alone time together.

"Nothing, I'm just wondering what to get my friend for her wedding," You said as you nodded over at the invitation, Seungmin nodded along with you and without thinking about it first, 

"Doesn't it make you feel bad that they're all so successful and you're just still in your small apartment," He didn't mean for it to come out the way it did, he'd been so stressed all week over something he needed to ask you that it came out a little too harsh. You dropped the fork onto your plate as you looked at him, wondering if he was joking or if he was serious but he looked at you confused. 

"What?"

"Well, I mean, they're all married, starting families, having these large homes and you're still in this crummy apartment." You couldn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth, especially from Seungmin of all people, your boyfriend. The person that was supposed to be supportive and loving to you no matter what, it felt as though he was turning your back on you. 

"Crummy?" Your voice broke as he continued to eat, watching the TV as though he didn't notice what he had said was hurting you so badly, you got up without another word, placed your plate down and rushed to the bathroom. 

(X)

When you didn't come out after an hour Seungmin was beginning to worry, he knocked on the door when he heard sniffling coming from inside. 

"Babe? Everything okay?" You wiped your eyes as you hummed in response, reaching to the toilet to flush it before lying to him, claiming you were sick and he needed to go before he caught it.

"You were fine earlier," He mumbled confused as to where this sudden sickness had come from, he opened the door to find you leaning against the bathtub wiping your eyes. 

"Babe! What's wrong?" You scoffed at him, moving away as he tried to reach out and comfort you, 

"What's wrong?! Me and my crummy apartment!" You yelled as you moved away from him and went into the living room, 

"Baby, I didn't-"

"Didn't mean it? Because clearly, you did! Do you find it funny?" He reached out for you but you stepped away once again not wanting him to be near you right now,

"Let's just laugh at Y/n and the fact that they still live in a 'crummy' apartment, not married, not having kids and alone!" He realized as soon as you began crying again that his words had hurt you unintentionally, he hadn't meant it the way they'd come out.

"I didn't mean it like that, I've been stressed this week trying to-"

"So you took it out on me? When have we ever done that?" He shook his head, finally gabbing your hands as he made you look up at him, 

"I've been stressing myself out trying to ask you to move in with me, I-I found a house we could live in and I- I didn't know how to ask you and I thought that dropping hints would be a good way." You stared at him with your brows pressed together, 

"You thought telling me my apartment was crummy...was a hint?" He laughed awkwardly as he realised how stupid it seemed but you started laughing softly along with him somehow seeing the funny side of it as you shook your head. 

"Kim Seungmin, you are the most strangest, perfect boyfriend in the world." You whispered kissing him softly, 

"Yes, I'll move in with you."

JEONGIN: Insecurity: Worried He doesn’t Love you

"You were flirting with her," You scoffed as you stood in one of the empty conference rooms that were in the JYP building, Jeongin rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration listening to what you were claiming he was doing.

"I was talking to her, she's like a younger sister to me." He explained you'd walked into the building to find him standing extremely close to Lia from itzy and it sent jealousy running through your veins. It wasn't as if you didn't trust Jeongin, you just found it incredibly difficult to see him with someone like Lia and not be attracted to her,

"You're just always too jealous to see what's in front of you! Why would I flirt with her when I'm with you?" You stared at him as he called you jealous, you looked down at your hands and not knowing what to say to him. 

"You're always so worried that I don't love you! Do you know how tiring it is to have to remind you all the time?" You felt a pang in your heart as he yelled at you, people turning to look through the glass door as they heard the youngest member yelling. 

"Well if it's so tiring why do you keep doing it?!" You yelled back only for him to shake his head and shrug his shoulders, 

"I don't know," Your heart, felt as though it had fallen onto the floor and crashed into a million tiny pieces right in front of him and it was as though he didn't care to notice. 

"You don't know? So...Why don't we just break up?" Your voice was quieter, hoping he would realise you were upset about this and that he would tell you he didn't mean it but he nodded his head, 

"Fine." Your breath caught in your throat as he stormed out of the room leaving you alone to try and gather up everything that had just happened in the room while he seemed to go off as though nothing had happened. 

(X)

When Jeongin walked into the dorms later that night the last thing he expected to find was you packing everything up into a bag with tears gushing down your cheeks. 

"Sorry, I thought I would be done before you got back," You sniffled, wiping your eyes and side-stepping out of the room telling him you would come back for the rest of your stuff when he wasn't at home.

"What are you talking about? Why are you taking your stuff?" You ignored him as you struggled to take the key to the dorms off your keys, dropping them all onto the floor and crying as you saw him bending down for them. 

"We broke up. Remember? You didn't want the hassle of telling me you loved me so we broke up," You couldn't bring yourself to look at him but he tilted your head up to look at him and shook his head, 

"I was just mad, I didn't mean it Y/n...I would never break up with you over that, I've just been stressed and then the whole jealousy thing came out and I just...I'm really sorry," He whispered leaning forward to kiss your lips softly, repeating over and over how much he loved you in every way possible, kissing you all over your face as he pulled you back into his dorm room so you could unpack your bag. 

Tagline: @taestannie​ @kneel-begyourpardon​ @sw33tnight​ @acciocriativity​ @mwitsmejk​ @minholuvs​

[foreverindreamlandd]

Dropped Pens & Bee Stings

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: Reader is having a day where nothing seems to be going her way. Nothing some TLC from her mans Bucky Barnes can’t fix.

WC: 1.1k

A/n: This story was inspired by me getting stung by a bee a few weeks ago and wishing I had a Bucky to kiss it better :,)

-----

You called them pen-dropping moments.

They happened during days where every small thing in your life seemed to be going wrong. You slept through your alarm, you spilled coffee on your shirt halfway into your commute to work, or you went to the gym and realized you left your headphones at home. Each small, seemingly minor inconvenience slowly breaking you down until the floodgates finally opened.

Sometimes all it would take is your pen dropping to the ground for you to have an emotional breakdown.

Today was one of those days.

You had accidentally stabbed your eye with your mascara wand while putting on makeup this morning, causing your eye to water and black streaking down your cheek. Then, when you walked to your car you discovered that an army of birds decided to leave….dozens of small gifts over your silver Corolla. When you finally made it to work, you realized that you had a meeting with your bosses. Ten minutes ago.

It was a day where you couldn’t wait to go home and spend the rest of your time sitting on the couch with a giant cup of tea, watching movies, wrapped up in the arms of Bucky.

You texted him to let him know of your plans.

B: Sorry you’re having a bad day, babe. Anything I can grab on my way to your place?

Y: Just those beautiful strong arms and devilishly handsome grin. Oh, and pizza. :)

B: You got it ;)

As soon as you were back in your apartment, you had the kettle on and ran into your room to put on your comfiest pair of sweats.

Back in the kitchen, you went to the cabinet to grab your favorite mug, the one Bucky got you for your birthday two years ago. You rested it on the counter, but accidentally placed it too close to the edge so when you let it go it tipped over and shattered to the floor.

You stared at the broken glass for a few moments, trying to comprehend what just happened.

But then you realized that if you dwelled on it for too long then the breakdown would come, and you didn’t want to make Bucky have to deal with that mess. He was leaving for a mission first thing tomorrow and it was your goal that the two of you to enjoy your time together before he left for two weeks.

So instead, you took a deep breath, then went into your hall closet to get a broom and a trash bag.

After cleaning up the broken pieces you went outside to throw the bag in the garbage. You gingerly lifted the lid and tossed it inside the bin, not wanting to upset the yellow jacket that had recently taken up residency in there.

The familiar sound of a motorcycle pulled up behind you just as you closed the lid.

“Hey there, gorgeous.”

Just hearing Bucky’s voice put a smile on your face, and you turned in his direction right as he was taking his helmet off, shaking his beautiful chestnut locks from side to side.

You whistled at the free show you were getting and he chuckled, moving to the back of the bike to grab the pizza.

“A handsome man who also comes with pizza? How’d a girl get so lucky- OW!”

A sharp pain on your wrist caused you to jump back, eyes scanning for the source.

It was the fucking bee. You looked down to see a bump already forming where it had stung you, surrounded by red as the irritation settled within your skin.

“Y/n? What’s wrong?” Bucky took two large strides over until he was right next to you.

And thus was the beginning of your pen-dropping moment, all of the annoying, slightly shitty occurrences of your day had piled up too high. It was time for it to come crashing down.

You blinked back tears to try to avoid the inevitable, but when Bucky lifted your chin to look into your eyes, his own filled with concern, nothing could stop them from falling.

Your face broke, and you just started sobbing.

Bucky was panicking. “Baby? What happened? Are you okay?” His hands traveled around your body, trying to find out if you were hurt.

“Everything k-keeps going w-wrong,” you sputtered out. “I broke your m-mug and I was l-late for a meeting and now this fucking bee.” Your hand covered the sting on your wrist.

Bucky wrapped his arms around you, kissing the crown of your head before resting his chin on it, rocking you side to side.

“It’s okay. I got you,” he murmured to you softly.

You groaned. “I’m so fucking d-dramatic. You’re leaving tomorrow and I w-wanted to have a nice night before you were gone and now I’m just a m-mess over nothing.”

“Hey, you’re allowed to have bad days, Y/n. That’s life. I’d rather you let it out than try to hide it from me, okay?”

You nodded into his shirt. “Okay,” you choked out before letting the sobs overtake you.

A few moments of you crying in the street like a crazy woman passed, and then you finally settled enough to quiet down.

Once your sobs became soft sniffles, Bucky pulled away from you. He gently took your hand in between his and inspected the sting, stroking it softly with his metal thumb. The coolness helped immensely with the growing irritation.

“Do you want me to punch the bee with my vibranium hand? Show it what happens when it messes with my girl?”

You giggled, shaking your head. “I appreciate it Buck, but I don’t want you starting a war with the bees in my neighborhood.”

He nodded, feigning a serious expression. “You’re right. My plan of attack should be more secretive. Leave no trace.”

Another laugh escaped you. “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

Your free hand cupped his cheek and you smiled. “Make me laugh even when I’ve had the shittiest day.”

He scrunched his nose and he smiled back. Then, he lifted your wrist to place a soft kiss to the sting. “If I can’t keep my girl happy, then what the hell am I even doing?”

And just like that, all of the shitty moments that happened today were erased from your memory. All you could think about were those perfect blue eyes gazing into yours. “You never have to worry about that, Buck. I’m always the happiest when I’m with you.”

Bucky beamed, kissing your forehead. “Come on, sweetheart.” He tilted his head to the door to your apartment, grabbing the pizza and guiding you inside. “Let’s get that sting looked at. Nothing some witch hazel, ice, and cuddles can’t cure.”

“Sounds perfect, Buck.” You squeezed his hand. “Love you.”

“Love you, Y/n.” He glanced over to your car that was still covered in bird shit and frowned. “Also, I’m cleaning your car first thing in the morning before I leave.”

----

Thank you for reading! Feel free to check out my other stuff here. :)

Tags: @maladaptivexxdaydreaming @eclipses-and-moondust

If you enjoyed this fic, please consider supporting me through my kofi account!

[oikadori]

First off i really like your work thank you so much for making them, stay safe. And stay hydrated... This is my first time requesting. Ummmm can you please do osamu, sakusa and kenma. Like after the timeskip and the wife is on vacations and they were the one who take cares of the kids for the time being and they leave the lil demon for a moment and he/she destroyed the whole house and their wife is coming home any moment. I wanna know what their reaction and action will be. Thank you.

REACTING TO THEIR CHILD MAKING A MESS OF THEIR HOME WHILE YOU ARE AWAY

⇢ includes: osamu, sakusa , kenma,  

⇢ genre // warnings: fluff , f!reader // swears, dad!sakusa gets kinda mad but then all is good. 

⇢ wc~ 0,9K

a/n: this is so sweet ?? pleasee thank you for requesting nonnie !!hope u like these. special thanks to @hvnlydmn who helped me figure out how i wanted to do these! ILY AINS <33 kithes

reblogs are highly appreciated :)

“Daddy!!”

Two pairs of big grey eyes peak from the couch in Osamu’s direction. His sleepy eyes adjusting to the light, unwrapping the chaos his living room has turned into.

Your twins are sitting comfortably on the couch, both of their mouths full of candies and their faces painted with red jelly, the same jelly that is now on the kitchen floor. Snacks are smeared all over the place and the couch is full of crumbs, but the little kids are wearing happy smiles.

“Daddy just went to sleep for fifteen minutes ‘cause he was tired and this is how you are gonna greet mommy when she’s back?”

Osamu’s tone is rather playful than harsh, he doesn’t have the heart to put on his serious face when your kids are smiling at him with those puffy cheeks. He breathes heavily, walking towards them, stopping right in front of the TV to catch their  attention.

“So, which one of ya is gonna help me clean this?”, he crosses his arms over his beefy chest as the little girl and the little boy blink at his words.

“He!” “She!”

They point at the other, looking up at your husband, who’s lips curve into a smile, the scene feeling familiar to him bringing back a piece of his childhood with Atsumu.

“Right…” a deep chuckle leaves his throat as he kneels between them, taking a napkin out, “But first I’ll have to get ya both clean”

He grabs your daughter’s cheek, earning a girly giggle out of her when he whipped away the jelly from her chin. Osamu freezes, feeling his phone buzzing in his pocket.

I’ll be there in 5!!! Love you !

He reads the message in slow motion as his son drops some more candies onto the floor and his daughter puts more sweets into her mouth. Osamu locks eyes with the two kids, fear printed in his face.

“Yer mom is gonna kill me”

“What…What happened?”

Sakusa says, almost dropping the towel he was using to dry off his dark, wet curls as he stares at the scene in front of him. The walls of the hall are covered with lines and figures and your daughter is standing proud next to it.

“LOOK, DADDY!“. The little girl points with her chubby fingers at the walls showing off her artistic skills to her dad but Sakusa’s face is pale. He moves towards her with his brows furrowed, her smile slowly fading.

“Y-you didn’t like it?”

“It’s not that… but good kids don’t draw on the walls while their dads are taking a shower!”, he points at the drawings, noticing her daughter’s dress stained with yellow, “―and you’ve ruined your dress!”

He doesn’t notice the harshness in his voice until he hears a little sniffle. Sakusa blinks, founding a big pout taking over his daughter’s face, making his breath hitch in his throat.

“I-I just wanted to give mommy a surprise”

She looks at the floor, playing with her fingers and Sakusa’s heart drops to the ground. His eyes soften instantly and he bends down, caressing the top of her head and holding her small hand in his.

“ Hey, I’m sorry love, daddy it’s just a bit tired and he misses mommy too” He thumbs her daughter’s cheek before tracing the yellow spot on her dress with his fingers “let’s change you into some clean clothes, okay angel?”

Your daughter nods eagerly, putting a grin on Sakusa’s lips.

“That’s my perfect girl!” Your daughter smiles again as he picks her up easily from the floor, kissing her cheek in his way to her room but the click the key makes with the door causes both of them to still, looking at each other with wide eyes.

“ it's mom!” she yells with the biggest smile on her face, stealing a chuckle from the spiker.

“Yeah, I’m excited to see her too.”

“Sorry, I’ll be back in 5. I have to check upon a little something of mine”

Kenma says with a soft grin before taking off his headsets and stopping his stream. He heads to his son’s room when a loud thud makes him freeze in the spot. He trips in his way to the living room, finding your big, flat screen Tv laying on the floor.

“shit“ he curses under his breath, his cat-like eyes widening as he spots his kid standing with an innocent face next to the TV.

“Mmh, I guess this is the part where I scold you….” Kenma hides his hands in his pockets, thinking about his next words. Your son moves towards him, stopping right in front of him to hold his hoodie, pulling the fabric to catch his attention.

“Can you play with me now, daddy?” Kenma’s amber eyes widen and his lips curl into a grin.

“So, you destroyed the living room to call daddy’s attention?”, your child nods, embarrassed, and Kenma tilts his head.

“I’m sorry daddy”

“I guess―if you know it was wrong, we are all good, bubs” Kenma whispers, patting his head and hugging him lightly, “but you mommy isn’t as cool as your daddy”

He grins devilish at his son when a familiar ringtone fills the room. Your son quickly unwraps your husband’s waist to pick up his tablet, a picture of you popping on the screen

Your son looks at his dad in fear and Kenma ruffles his dark hair with calm eyes before grabbing the device to answer the call. He giggles at the way your eyes seem to fall from your face when you catch a glimpse of your living room.

“Kenma…What―”

He takes out his wallet, sighing softly before giving you a cocky grin from across the screen.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll buy you a new living room.”

TO JOIN MY TAGLIST, FILL THE FORM HERE  ♡

TAGLIST :  @sazunari @hajiswife @oikadiors @arrogantsonofabiscuit @wak4tosh1 @asteroid-babe @kenmaki @kouffee-ink @mjoork @tobiosbbyghorl @evelynn27 @akkeyomi @devilgirlcrybabiey @ilovecheese08 @realityisabitch-blr @itsmeaudrieee

[believeitseeitdoit]

Legos and Language

Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes

Summary: All bets are off when it comes to a Lego mishap in the Rogers-Barnes home 

Rating: Y'all shouldn’t be reading the filthy things if youre under 18 anyways but this one is pretty PG (but language is the exception)

Warnings: Domestic stucky, suggested and slight smutty times, 90% fluffy, some foul language, talk of murder and destruction of legos forever, feel good shit, Steve, Bucky and their girl have babies

don’t steal my little munchkin oc names please, I like them 

This is written from each lover’s POV, marked by ******** this 

This is a work of love and hated of legos, solely to be read for a smile and maybe some happiness, be kind or go away

        “Sonofabitch!” Your hushed curse rattles through the house as you stomp barefoot through your son’s pile of a semi built lego creation. With a few breathy “fuck’s,'' you hop over to the nearest chair to rub the new soreness out. Sharp indentations litter the underside of your arch, and you peel off a flat piece from your toe then mentally plot unmonitored use of the quantum realm to murder the creator of legos before they can cause any harm to you again.

       Continuing your muttering, you delicately set your foot down and turn to the mess. You sigh in relief that you didn’t destroy any of the built chunk, you were only subjected to the ultimate test of parenthood, the loose pieces.

     “Back to our regularly scheduled morning, coffee.” You say to the empty room, narrating your routine as if you were running a sitcom. Once in the kitchen, you set about making a hefty pot of coffee for you and your husbands, humming an 80s rock tune and letting your open robe swish around you loosely in the process.

********

      They both notice you slide out of bed, a super spy and a retired Avenger don’t miss much in their own home. But rather than follow you down to the kitchen to disrupt your morning ritual, Steve pulls his husband against him and nuzzles his hair so they could get some quiet time of their own. A few moments later, Bucky is softly snoring against Steve’s arm, and Steve is on the brink of sleep when he hears a barely audible string of curses and the unbalanced thunking of feet along the hardwood. Bucky seems undeterred, so Steve leaves him be and slips out of the bed to investigate what caused the early use of language, not that he’s surprised considering their wife’s colorful vocabulary when the kids aren’t listening.

       Pulling his discarded boxers back on from the night before, Steve saunters out of the master suite silently toward the staircase. He pokes his head into the nursery to check on the sleeping infant twins, and heads down the old hardwood steps, praying for them not to creak with every step. Halfway down the stairs, he hears you filling the coffee pot under the tap and the chorus to a White Snake ballad quietly playing from the speakers while you hum along. With a smile and a small head bob as he catches the tune, Steve steps across the threshold of the stairs toward the living room and kitchen, unaware of the torture devices scattered on the floor.

      Steve intends to follow the wall to get to the kitchen without his presence known, until you hear a series of words that would make Tony blush and an unfortunate crunching sound of your son’s creation being smashed to bits.

     “SONOFAFUCKINGMONKEYSASSHOLE WHAT THE FUCKING DICK ON A STICK GOD DAMN PIECE OF TORTUROUS BULLSHIT IS THIS?!!” He yelps loudly and tries to hop over the new graveyard of legos.

     In his fresh misery, he misses you quickly dropping the coffee grounds onto the counter top and hustling toward him to make sure his verbatim doesn’t wake the twins. As you begin shushing him from a few steps away, Steve hobbles blindly toward your voice and you see it happen before you can say anything. Your big clutz of a husband smashes his un-assaulted foot through your son’s Legos, only this time Captain America is not the star spangled man with a plan. He has absolutely destroyed the near complete firetruck and you can only stand in awe at his ability to hit each remaining chunk of the build before he finally makes it to the couch.

     “Fuck fuck fuck fuck, why the fucking legos? FUCK!” His wailing is not going to gain any sympathies from you, only entertainment at the weaknesses of men.

     “Steven Grant, you shut the hell up before you wake my babies or I WILL send Bucky to the store and you can have twin duty alone.” Sitting down at his feet to pull the pieces off his skin, you scold him lightly but without any venom or intention. He hisses as you pull the flat plastic off his big toe, and you chuckle as his pathetic whimpers cease.

     “So, coffee?” You stand and pull him up with you toward the kitchen, letting his calloused hands and leftover cologne embrace you like a blanket as he leans down to caress your cheek. He kisses your forehead and softly brushes hair behind your ear with one hand while the other grips your plush hip under the loose robe.

     “Maybe something sweeter to distract me first? This robe is teasing me.” His lips ghost down your neck and he nips at your collarbone while pulling the thin silk off your shoulders.

     “You kept me up late, baby. I need coffee before anything today.” You whisper breathily against his tanned, thick chest, whimpering and shivering as you feel him trace the marks littering your skin and gently squeezing the flesh he is so obsessed with.

     He allows you to pull away only after you shudder again, but he stands behind you, hands locked onto your hips as you pour the bitter amber liquid into 3 mugs. Steve’s love bites on your neck keep you distracted long enough for Bucky to come down the stairs without being noticed.

     “I thought we agreed there was no third wheeling in this family, and yet here we are.” Your bonus husband is perched against the refrigerator offering your favorite coffee creamer and his signature pout.

******

     Bucky is roused by his husband rolling out of bed and the accompanying coolness that surrounds him as the sheets flutter back down against the mattress. He listens to Steve pad lightly down the hall to check in on the kids, Hudson in his room first, then Charlotte and Talia in the nursery.  As the footsteps recede down the stairwell, Bucky lets his body sink into the bed and the scents of his partners surround him and lull him back to sleep.

     Until he hears a string of words leave his husband’s mouth, and a series of crunches and shattering sounds buried under more very inappropriate words. Now wide awake, Bucky shoves himself from bed and puts a loose sweatshirt over his head while he walks toward the stairs. He is halted by a whimper from one of his little twins in the nursery, but his ever present super senses note that both babes are still firmly asleep so he continues down the steps.

       Not sure of the state of things on the main floor, Bucky alertly scopes the space and finds their son’s legos strewn about the floor. With a sigh, Bucky steps around them and shakes his head as he follows the sounds of his husband and wife to the kitchen. He is met with tangled hair and soft pants, an open robed woman more stunning than Aphrodite, and a man barely containing his impressive erection in his low hanging boxers. Bucky can feel the energy in the room, can practically taste the arousal on them, and his subconscious stirs awake, begging to join like a wolf waiting for the hunt.

*******

      “And who plans on fixing our son’s firetruck creation? Because it sure as hell won’t be me, I will be taking care of our little girls where I am wanted.”

     Steve is the first to respond, an arm opens toward Bucky in the same moment. “Honey we didn’t mean to leave you out, c’mon over here let us show you how much better it is with you.” 

      As Bucky steps into Steve’s reach, you push off the counter and into the thick warmth of your husbands. Their desire envelops you as kisses are peppered on skin and fingers prod at bits of flesh for a better grip on reality. The moment is nearly bursting with love and lust, blinding both man’s super senses of their incoming visitor.

        “Who da hell bwoke my WEGOS!!!!????? MOMMYYYYY!” Hudson screeches from the bottom of the stairs and you’re running for him in an instant.

        “Hudson Anthony! You do not speak like that. You know better young man.” Steve and Bucky hiss at the use of their boy’s middle name, knowing how he feels in both respects.

       “Baby boy, I’m so sorry about the Legos, but you cannot use that language. No naughty words right?” You hate scolding him when you completely understand his frustrations, but heavens forbid he say any of that in public, the boy would be shamed and sent to his principal so fast even the Daily Bugle couldn’t catch it first. 

      Hudson sniffles and rubs his nose, trying to fight off tears of frustration in front of his daddy and papa, but quickly fails.

“But, is bwoken mommy. I woked so hawd on it! Wuh happened?” He begins wailing and stuttering breaths, and you pull him into your arms to hug and comfort him gently.

       “Shh, handsome, it was an accident. See, they were left too close to the stairs and mommy stepped on some, then daddy heard her yelp and ran through them too. Papa moved them out of the way and reminded daddy that he needs to help fix it with you baby.” You bounce him on your hip, trying to push the sadness away like you did when he was a small tike.

       Bucky and Steve step closer, each wrapping an arm around you and Hudson to initiate a bear hug. Hudson whimpers a bit longer then picks his head up from your shoulder and leans toward Steve, signaling he wants his daddy to hold him next. Steve pulls him close and whispers apologies only audible to his boy, but you and Bucky smile knowingly. They head to the far corner of the couch where they can have a quiet cuddle and talk about how Hudson can teach his daddy to rebuild the LEGO vehicle. 

      You lean against Bucky, enjoying the moment until he turns to the stairs.

       “Time for round 2 with some sleepy babies?” You tie your robe closed and head up the walk way, stubbing your toe on the first step.

       “Mother fu—dge on toast that was unpleasant.” You yelp and grip tightly onto Bucky’s vibranium arm. He chuckles and scoops you into his arms, carrying you up the remaining steps.

     “Careful, I don’t want to use your middle name today too darling.” He winks, setting you down at the doorway of the nursery. With a huff, you begin fluttering about the room, softly waking your girls and beginning their morning routine.

    “My sweet little Charlotte Ann, and my lovely Natalia Rose, you two are the most precious angels in this world. But for the love of all things holy, no Legos when you’re older ok?”

Tagging those who may appreciate this or can give me a helpful bit of advice on my writing : @bxccxdxll​ @iraot​ @sagechanoafterdark​ @tuiccim​  @thebescht​ @makbarnes​

[skyeet-the-writer]

okay i’m not sure if you are taking like open requests but corpse and reader are dating and nobody really knows but like the fans ship it and stuff, and they are playing among us with jack, felix, rae ect,, and someone invites somebody and it’s reader ex boyfriend and corpse notices that she’s acting really quiet and he texts her like “baby are you okay??” and she tells him that’s her toxic ex and during an emergency meeting, her ex suspects her and when she defends herself he says something along the lines of “don’t believe her she’s a fucking liar, she’s been one since the day i first met her” and everyone is like ??? but corpse flips out on him and just snaps telling him to leave his girlfriend alone which breaks his cover so everyone knows about you guys and just like really mad corpse and having to help him calm down and you get up from your seat to see him in his streaming room and just sit on his lap and he’s like “fuck that guy it’s okay baby we can just play minecraft or something” lmaooo 🥺🥺🥺 sorry i know that was so specific but the thought makes me so soft i would actually cry if you wrote this

This Is A Shout Out To My Ex

here’s my first request guys! so sorry they’re taking so long. i’m trying to get these done before i do anything else. hope you guys enjoy! x,

corpse x female!reader

summary: while paying a game with her friends, y/n’s toxic ex joins the game. when he calls her a liar, corpse snaps and defends his girlfriend

word count: ~4.4k

warnings: mentions of emotional abuse, gaslighting, near-death experiences, swearing, some angst but it has a super fluffy end!

Living with your boyfriend is, obviously, amazing in every way. You see each other all the time, you get to cuddle almost all the time, and you get to see his handsome face every morning.

Probably, the only downside is the fact that living together makes it nearly impossible to hide the fact that you’re dating.

But, somehow, you’ve managed to keep it a secret from you rabid fans for the past four months. You literally have no idea how because you’re pretty sure you accidentally got a glimpse of Corpse walking by while you were doing a vlog.

Miraculously, no one noticed it. Then again, none of your fans knew what he looked like, so there’s a plus. There were one or two comments asking who the person in the back was, but you lied and said it was a friend. Technically, you weren’t wrong.

And so you’ve been trying to keep your relationship with Corpse on the DL to avoid any stress or anxiety his way. You could deal with it, you’ve been doing Youtube for years and could handle almost anything. Corpse, bless his heart, might not be able to.

One morning, you’re awoken by some slight tugging on your hair. You crack your eyes open but the bright light makes you whine and close them again. There’s a soft laugh behind you and you roll over onto your back, scooting over closer to him. You stretch your legs and grin, still keeping your eyes closed. 

“Did you sleep at all?” you ask in a quiet voice, your head resting on your lover’s chest.

“No,” he answers in his deep voice and you feel him play with your hair. “Anxiety, insomnia, the usual shit.”

You hum and open your eyes slowly, deciding to brave the light. You blink up at Corpse who is staring at the ceiling. “What were you thinking about?” Your own voice is a bit scratchy and rough. 

He looks down at you and you take notice of how bloodshot his eyes are and the bags under his eyes. “How pretty you are when you sleep.” He grins.

“You watched me when I slept?” you ask and playfully narrow your eyes at him. “You creep.”

He laughs and you turn around onto your side, your back facing him. “Baby, no, I didn’t mean it that way.”

You smile. “You’re so creepy, Corpse.”

He doesn’t say anything but you hear him sit up in bed. You begin to ask what he’s doing but then he lifts up the back of your shirt to press a few kisses to your back. “You’re still here, though. With me.”

“Hm. Yeah.” You turn around and he gazes at you. “Because I love you.”

His eyes light up in the way that they always do when you tell him those three, simple words. You love seeing them light up that way and you grin. “I love you, too.” He leans in for a quick kiss.

“What time is it?” you ask when you pull away.

Corpse reaches over to his side of the bed and turns his phone on. “Noon.”

“Noon?” you shout and sit up so quickly you get a head rush. “We were supposed to be playing Among Us with Sean, Pewds, Toast, Rae, and them.”

“Oh. Yeah.” You turn and see him with his hands covering his face.

You walk over to him and kneel next to him. “Babe? What’s up?”

He just groans and you frown. He doesn’t feel good. 

You push his hair from his forehead. “I can tell them that you’re not feeling up for it. They all know you, they’d understand.”

He shakes his head and runs his hands down his face before they rest on his chest. “No. No, it’s okay, I’ll be fine.” He gives you a smile.

You kiss his cheek. “Okay, then, babe. C’mon, we’re gonna be late.” You grab his hands and tug him up until he’s in a sitting position. He pulls you in for another kiss but you lean away.

“You have morning breath,” you tell him when he gives you his sad eyes. “Brush your teeth and then I’ll kiss you.”

That seems to get him out of bed and into the bathroom while you change clothes. You change out of your sweatpants and t-shirt and into jeans and a shirt. He walks out of the bathroom yawning and you walk past him to go to the bathroom.

I wish he’d sleep, you think to yourself while brushing your teeth. After brushing your teeth, you wash your face and do a little bit of makeup so you don’t look like you just rolled out of bed even though you did.

Corpse walks into the bathroom as you’re finishing your makeup and has a mug of coffee for you. You’re the only one in the house who drinks coffee since he can’t, so you always find it so sweet that he makes it for you.

“You made me coffee?” you ask and he nods. You take it from him and give him a peck. “Thank you, love.” 

You take a sip and grab your phone from your nightstand and shove it into your pocket. You walk out of the bedroom the two of you share and into the kitchen to check on your cat. 

Before you met him, Corpse had never really wanted a pet. He said that they die and he doesn’t want to deal with that, which you understand. But after the two of you had been dating for three months and you had been living with him for a month and a half, you begged him to let you get a cat. You knew he couldn’t say no to you. 

“Where’s Inky?” you call out to your boyfriend after not finding your cat in the living room or the kitchen. 

“In here,” he calls back and you follow his voice. Corpse is sitting in his chair getting ready to stream. You spot a black cat sitting on his table, licking at his hand. Corpse laughs and pets the animal on the head. “Stop licking me, girl. Your tongue feels weird.”

You smile and walk over to him, picking the cat up. “Come on, Inky, let’s leave dad to do his job, yeah?”

The young cat meows up at you and stares into your soul with her green eyes. You lock her gaze and have a staring contest. You lose, however, and blink away. 

“Why is your cat so weird?” you ask, placing the cat back down and watch her run away. 

“Probably gets it from her mom,” Corpse mumbles and you hear a smile. 

You scoff and smack his hand away gently when he reaches out to you. “Fine, you don’t get a kiss before the stream.”

“No, wait!” he shouts and grabs your hand, pulling you towards him. “I was kidding, baby.”

You smile at him and cup his cheek. “I know.” You lean down and give him a long, deep kiss. You feel him smile against your lips and you pull away. He gives you a smile.

“I love you,” he mutters, brushing some hair away from your face. 

“I love you more.” You grab his hand and press a kiss against his knuckles. You take a step back. “I’ll see you in the Discord chat, babe.”

“Okay. Also, don’t close the door all the way!” he calls to you and you look back at him, your hand on the doorknob. 

“Why?” you ask, leaning on the doorframe. 

He takes a second to respond. “Because I want Inky to come in here later.”

You laugh but smile. “Okay, fine.” You walk away from the door and across the hall into your own recording room. 

Your room is a lot different than your boyfriend’s. His room is dark and doesn’t have a lot in it. Yours, on the other hand, probably has too much stuff. Most of it is gifts from fans like stuffed animals and other knickknacks. Your desk, monitors, and lights take up a lot of the already limited space. You turn both your ring lights on after closing the door and turn on the LED lights you have attached to the ceiling. You switch them to the f/c setting and put the remote next to your coffee mug. You sit down in your black and white gaming chair and set everything up after putting on your headset. 

You join the Among Us game after beginning your stream and then the Discord call. You seem to join before Corpse because you can’t see him in the call. 

“You’ve finally decided to join us, y/n!” Felix exclaims and you smile. 

“Am I late?” you ask, taking another drink of your coffee. 

“No,” Sean replies. “I mean, we played a couple of rounds to pass the time, but nothing interesting happened.”

You nod and glance at who all is in the chat. It seems to be you, Felix, Toast, Charlie, Rae, Sean, later Corpse, and someone else who’s tag sounds familiar. 

“Oh! I invited someone new!” says Rae. “He’s a friend from college. y/n, this is Dallas.”

“Hey, y/n.”

Your eyes widen and your blood goes cold at the sound of his voice. You know him. You used to date him. In highschool before you moved away. You remember how toxic he was. He would always blow you off when you wanted to hang out and when you did hang out, he always played video games and never talked to you. 

“Hi, Dallas,” you stutter out. “Uh, hey, didn’t you and I go to highschool together?”

You can practically hear his smirk. “Yeah. We did.”

“I didn’t know you two went to school together,” Rae says happily. 

“Yep,” Dallas says. “We were friends, too.”

You want to throw up.

Suddenly, your loving and not toxic boyfriend joins the call and your spirits lift. 

“Corpse!” you exclaim, almost letting another word slip out. 

“You’re here,” says Rae. “Good noon!”

“Yeah, I’m not a morning person,” he says and you just now notice how deep his voice is. “I just woke up.”

“Oh my god,” Felix says. 

“Jesus,” says Charlie, dragging out the ‘u’.

“You just woke up?” asks Toast. 

He’s a liar, he didn’t sleep at all, you think but keep your mouth shut and laugh. 

“It’s like a forty-hertz voice,” Sean says. 

“It sounds like short wave radio,” Charlie adds. 

You laugh. “You sound like spoken brown note.”

Corpse laughs. “This is me when I wake up, that’s what...” He cuts himself off and laughs again.

“I’m scared,” says Dallas. 

“I didn’t know it could get any lower!” exclaims Sean. 

“I didn’t know you could hit puberty twice.” Felix laughs. 

After some more laughter, Corpse is introduced to Dallas. 

“Hey, man,” Corpse says. “Nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, you too,” Dallas replies. 

“Can we start the game now?” Sean asks when everyone is in the waiting room. You take a sip of your coffee while Rae starts the game. 

You mute yourself as your role is revealed and let out a sigh of relief. “Crewmate. Good, this makes this less stressful.” You go into the hallway, following Felix and Sean to go do wires. You clear the two of them and you three go up to admin. “Okay, so for those of you wondering about my reaction to Dallas joining the stream is that he’s my ex. Uh, we dating in highschool and broke up around the end of senior year. So this is pretty awkward for me.” You break away from Sean and Felix to go do a task in the greenhouse. 

You leave out the part about Dallas where he was borderline abusive. You remember him shouting at you for asking for the littlest of things to him gaslighting you and guilt-tripping you into going skinny dipping with him. 

Maybe that’s why you love Corpse so much. He’s the opposite of Dallas. He’s sweet and he’s caring. He’s never once raised his voice at you unless you were beating him in a game. Even then you both knew he wasn’t serious. And he had never once pressured you to do something you didn’t want to do. 

You’re brought out of your thoughts when someone reports Rae’s dead body. You unmute yourself and take another drink of your coffee. 

“I found her in decontamination,” Dallas says. “I opened the door and she was right there.”

“I was down by storage doing wires,” you tell them, putting your mug down. “And I was with Felix and Jack for the beginning and I’m pretty sure they’re cleared. So it has to be either you, Toast, or Corpse. Or Charlie.”

“You almost forgot about me,” he says and you laugh. 

“We never vote on seven, right?” Toast says. 

“Not if no one is sus, no,” Corpse answers. 

“I’m skipping,” says Sean. 

You nod and skip voting. “Same here.”

Everyone skips voting and you continue on. You do the rest of your wiring tasks and go out to the balcony where you notice Corpse standing out there. You smile and walk up to him and make your characters’ “eye” parts touch. “Look, Corpse. We’re touching eyeballs.”

You can just barely make out his laugh from the room across from yours and you grin before doing to do your task. You glance at your chat while you run to the reactor with Corpse. “How have you guys been doing? Hope you’re having a good day. Don’t forget to drink some water and eat something.” You smile at the camera and enter decontamination with Corpse and Toast. 

When you enter reactor, Corpse and Toast each go to do it and you head to the sorting in the lab when suddenly a body is reported. 

You decide to be quiet and drink from your coffee while everyone else discusses what happened. You zone out a little when Dallas talks and your mind flashes back to memories you’ve been trying to forget. 

“Wait, who are we voting?” you ask when you suddenly snap back to reality. 

“Felix,” Sean answers. “He vented right in front of me.”

You nod and vote for Felix and he gets ejected. 

pEWds was ejected 

1 imposter remains

You mute yourself once more and continue to do your tasks and stick with Corpse as much as you can. Your chat notices this and begins to blow up with the ship name they have for the two of you. You laugh at the chat as you scan yourself. “Why are you guys freaking out about Corpse and me? We’re literally just walking.”

Another body is reported and this time it’s Toast’s. You know who the imposter is. You unmute yourself and quickly say, “It’s fucking Dallas, it’s a self-report.”

“What?” Dallas exclaims and you immediately sense the hint of anger in his tone. He used to get so mad during video games and it seems like nothing has changed in the past few years. “How’s it me? It could be Charlie.”

“Charlie is dead, too,” Sean says. 

“Yep. And I know both Corpse and Sean are cleared because I was with Sean for a long time and I just watched Corpse get scanned.”

Dallas scoffs. “Well, shit, you got me there.”

After Dallas is ejected, the crewmates win and you all start another round. You suddenly don’t feel like talking too much anymore and do your stream in mostly silence. Just Dallas being there and in the same call as you is making you anxious and bringing up memories you don’t want to remember. 

Your chat asks you about this and you ignore it as you continue to do your tasks as a crewmate. Your phone buzzes in your pocket and you pull it out, looking at who it is. 

corpse 🖤

are you okay? you’re being really quiet

y/n

yeah, ig. just that dallas is my ex. toxic ex too

corpse 🖤

want me to kill him for you? im imposter

You smile and shake your head. “Oh, Corpse,” you whisper to yourself. 

y/n

no dont kill him lol

You put your phone back down on the table and look back at the game. 

You don’t pay too much attention to the game until the fourth round after you and Rae lost as the imposters. You’re a crewmate once again and you’re peacefully doing your tasks when suddenly something lays on your bare feet. 

“What the?” You look down at your feet and see a little dark fuzzball on your feet. “Inky, get off my feet, baby.” You move your feet and pick her up. You hold her in your arms like a baby the way she likes and rub her belly. “Okay, go see your dad.” Inky jumps out of your arms and you watch her leave your recording room. 

You turn back to your task and continue to do them without any interruptions. You notice, however, that Dallas has been following you for most of the round. You’re starting to get a little nervous and you run into the cafeteria to get away from him when he calls an emergency meeting.

You unmute yourself and Dallas says, “I think it’s y/n. I’m pretty sure she’s faking tasks.”

“Except I’m not,” you tell him. “You’re the one following me around, too, Dallas. What’s up with that, huh?”

“I’ve been following you because you’re acting sus.”

You glare at Dallas’s character on the screen, heat rushing to your face. “I’m literally doing my tasks, I know you saw me do the card swipe--”

“Don’t listen to her,” Dallas says and he sounds far too confident. “She’s a fucking liar. She has been since the first day I met her.”

By now your face is completely red from anger and you gasp. “Excuse me?”

“What are you talking about?” Sean asks. “I’ve known y/n for a long time, she’s never told a lie so long as I’ve known her.”

“That’s because she’s too good at it,” Dallas says in a snarky tone and you’ve never wanted to punch a screen more in your life. “Her and me used to date in highschool but I broke up with her because she lied to me about everything.”

“That’s not fucking true!” you shout and you can hear blood rushing to your ears. “I was the one who broke up with you after you gaslighted me about not hanging out with you enough when in reality you were always hanging out with your stupid football friends!”

“She’s lying--”

“The fuck are you saying about my girl?” Corpse demands. 

The chat goes silent for a moment. Corpse just called you his girl. You look at your live chat and it’s exploding with “i knew it”s and lots of keyboard smashing.

“Your girl?” Dallas asks after a moment.

“Yes. My girl. As in my girlfriend.” He sounds so possessive and it’s kind of hot to you. “Why are you calling her a liar?”

Dallas stumbles on his words. “B--because she is one.”

“Right. And how long have you known her?”

“I knew her in highschool--“

“Nevermind, I literally don’t care,” Corpse interrupts him. “I’ve been living with her for the past five months and she’s never lied to me about anything.”

Dallas is quiet for once. Everyone is. No one is really even breathing but your heartbeat is rattling your brain and blood is rushing through your ears.

“I don’t wanna play anymore,” you whisper. You swallow thickly and glance at your chat. Luckily, they’re all defending you and yelling at Dallas. You turn back to the screen. “Dallas, I’m not the imposter. And stop making stupid ass accusations.”

“I--“

“Kick him,” says Felix and you can tell he sounds mad.

“No wait--“ Dallas begins to say.

“No!” Rae interrupts. “I knew there was something off about you.”

“You don’t get to come in here and talk shit about our friend,” Jack says.

“I was kidding,” Dallas tries to explain.

But then something inside you snaps. You forgot how much you hate Dallas. How he always turned the blame on you when he did something wrong. How you almost lost all of your friends because he convinced them that you were a bad person.

At first, you thought he had changed. You thought that he had actually grown up. Turns out that people don’t change.

“Like you were kidding when you almost got me kicked out of the house because you made me go out with you to go drinking?” you ask. “Or how you played a stupid trick on me when I was driving us to school and I almost fucking crashed the car and nearly killed us?”

“Jesus.” You can hear him roll his eyes. “You’re still on about that? It was April Fool’s, you should have expected it—“

“I shouldn’t have expected shit!” you yell and it comes out raw. The memory flashes in your mind and you cringe. “That wasn’t funny, Dallas! You weren’t funny! I fucking hated my life in high school. I was already stressed out because I thought I wasn’t smart enough and you being my boyfriend and ignoring me and manipulating me didn’t help.

“So fuck you. Fuck you for everything you did to me when we were teenagers. Fuck you for making me think that you changed and were actually nice and then ripping that away from me. But you know what? Thanks. Thanks for being my ex because you made me what I am today and you’re the reason I moved to California and met the love of my life.”

You suck a deep breath in and wipe at the tears that had fallen. You put your hand on your camera. “Speaking of which, I need a hug from him. Bye, guys.”

You stop streaming and disconnect from everything. You turn your computer off, unplug your headset, and turn your lights off. You sit in your chair trying not to cry in the dark.

Corpse, your mind says and you open your eyes. You really want a hug. His hugs are the best. You take your headset off and walk out of your recording room. Before you walk into Corpse’s recording room, you head to the living room and grab a fluffy gray blanket and wrap it around yourself.

You don’t even bother to knock on the door and just walk in. His room is still dark and it appears like he’s angry. You can tell by the way his voice is deeper and how he looks like he’s shaking.

But when you tap on his shoulder, he looks up at you with wide eyes. “Babe.”

You sniffle and he pushes away from his desk. You shake your head and pull his arms up above his head and settle yourself on his lap, your legs on either side of him, and wrap your arms around his neck.

“Baby,” he whispers and you lean your cheek on his shoulder. “Just fuck off, Dallas.”

Your eyes squeeze shut and you shift up a little, pushing your nose into his neck. He smells nice. “Stop talking to them.”

“What?” he looks down at you and asks what you’re doing when you take his headset off. You unplug them, thereby disconnecting him from the stream. “y/n, what are you doing?”

“I want to cuddle with you,” you mutter and bury your face into his neck.

You feel him wrap his arms around your back and he pulls you up, leaning his head on your shoulder. “Okay, baby. We can cuddle.”

The two of you sit like that for what feels like a long time. You hear Corpse’s phone buzz, but the two of you ignore it. He kisses the side of your head and you smile.

You sigh deeply as he tightens his hold against you. “Fuck that guy, baby. It’s okay.” He moves his shoulder and you look up at him. “Wanna go play Minecraft?”

A grin spreads across your face and you nod. Corpse smiles back and picks you up, bridal style, blanket and all. You squeal and laugh as he carries you to the living room. “Put me down, Corpse!”

“Alright.” He drops you into the couch and turns around to turn the Xbox on.

You huff and push your hair out of your face, keeping the blanket wrapped tight around your body. “I didn’t mean literally drop me, dummy.”

He shrugs and sits next to you, handing you a controller. “Should’ve been more specific, baby.”

You scoff but can’t hide the small smile creeping onto your lips. “Jerk.” You put the controller next to you on the couch and move the blanket so it’s over both of your laps and you lean into his side.

After playing Minecraft for the majority of the afternoon and evening, you finally drag Corpse to bed with you after ordering pizza for dinner.

His arms are wrapped tight around your waist as your back is pressed against his chest. Inky hops up onto the bed and nuzzles your hand until you begin to pet her. She lays down on her belly and you gently pat her.

“Am I really the love of your life?” Corpse asks after a long time of sitting in the quiet darkness

You nod against the pillow. “Yeah. You are.”

You can’t see him, but you know he’s smiling when he kisses the back of your neck.

Your phone on your nightstand lights up and you head Corpse’s phone buzz again as well. You think for just a moment about all of the texts, all of the messages, all of the DMs you’re getting about what happened. For a second, you panic. What if people don’t think that you’re worth to be dating Corpse? What if people are calling you a pussy for how you reacted to Dallas? What if everyone hates you?

But those thoughts immediately go away when Corpse mumbles something in that husky voice of his that makes the butterflies in your tummy come back. “You’re the love of my life, too.”

“Yeah?” you hum, your eyes slipping shut.

“Yeah,” he says and you can tell that he’s getting tired as well. “And I’m gonna marry you someday.”

An involuntary smile spreads across your face and your entire body overheats. You bite your lip in the darkness and whisper,

“And I’m gonna say yes.”

But he’s asleep. His breathing has evened out. He shouldn’t have heard you.

You know he heard you somehow, though, because his arms tighten around your waist. You wiggle backward so that you’re flush against his chest and his head drops down onto the top of your head.

You place your hands over his and close your eyes. Finally, he’s sleeping.

--------------------

If you want to be added or removed from the tag list, just ask or message me. If you see any problems or anything like that, let me know. 

@honeysuger @chubby-dumpling @polahorvat @annshit @simonsbluee @dad-ee-drea @save-the-sky @wibblytimey @thegirlwholikestomanythings @yagorlnessa @mrswang17 @alilshit @majolittlemixgurl18 @the-bunny-anon @hufflepuff-always-and-forever @loraleiix @artist-bby @ellomellows @pillowjj @matthew-gray-g @myherotrashbin @sunnsetteeee @lxdybyrd @cultofandom @anngelllla @tododokizuku @pachowpachowbucket @gaysludge @bethpiercwhy @marvelkatwoman @c0rpsew1fe @your-cherry-bomb @bi-andready-tocry @redosmo @gracehaileym @helena-way07 @nekomacam @c00ln3rdz @fadingprunebagelfestival @fifiyau105 @easygoingtheatre @satanwithagenda @gracehaileym @oumachii @mythicalreader @this-isnt-living-anymore @punkrainbows @kitsunedarian @crapimahuman @honestlyimstilllivinginthe90s @realnicoleworld @scarswideworld @bluewneptune @weeblyheaux @beebo-at-the-church @melmachh @emmapotato88 @abbiesthings @peterparkerspjsuit @mitchiesdungeon @theeerealpunkin @kaitlynw011 @bookoffracturedghosts @beebeomgyu @tooturntashbash @hughugh20 @spideys-gurl @petit-chasseur-detoiles @reddeserths @heartbroken-writer @chimchimsugakookies @danny-devitowo @susceptible-but-siriusexual @moonnei @crystalbaby12 @cherry-pieee @girl-obsessed-with-things @sokkas-paintings @yobroitsjayden @softegirlvibes @boba-king-iroh @chouxfleur @bbecc-a @tayloryorkscurls @getdevils @nightly-daydreamer @beegobuzzbuzz @dxffxdils @mae-musicbitch @fangirlmisanthrope @bipolarbisexualdisaster @taliyahvermillion @unded-bride @kguerrero-23 @cold-deep-water @demoiselle-en-detresse00 @motheroffae @jokenotfunny @yongboxerrr @theolwebshooter @hawkssnugget @yoyoanaria @babyhoneystvles @rjwinterfell @simp-for-corpse @benjaminka @sailor-earth-1