#baby jesse my beloved

[bichobolitach]

This three year old can pronounce “épée” better than me

Anyways. Baby Jesse. He’s very small and his dad is very popular and people keep coming over to say hi and they also want him to say hi and he knows NONE OF THESE PEOPLE! AND HE IS VERY SMALL!

[uppastthejelliclemoon]

may i offer a vibing jess!jerrie in these trying times

[artsykerfufflespam]

Uncle jesse n uncle joey being homoerotic tehe

[yekkiz]

rewatching brba for selfcare purposes 🫡

[kylejsugarman]

omg please write more about Jane and Baby *puppy eyes*

dude u know i need zero prompting to talk more about my silly little au's.....im going to try to keep this light because yk. jane. but shes initially dubious about renting out her place to jesse because a) well look at him and b) she didnt exactly move out to live her cool independent 20s life just to end up neighbors with a baby. he insists that she's quiet ("u can ask like. well she doesnt really know anyone. u can ask me, shes super quiet") and he has the money and its better than renting to a weird old guy, so she agrees. baby is a good neutral topic for them to discuss whenever they cross paths and even though jane's never really been big on kids, she thinks baby's a cutie and its fun to use her as a tool for teasing jesse (jane accepting the month's rent voice: now baby, did u make sure he counted it out correctly this time?). as they get closer, jane is more and more endeared to baby not just because she's a little creature, but because she makes jesse drop all pretenses and act completely genuine. hes his truest self around her. she'll pretend like she doesn't enjoy babysitting and will tell jesse that she should be paid at Least minimum wage if she's going to be his landlord AND his childcare service, but she usually drops the joke quickly (jesse takes a lot of what she says Way too seriously and sometimes he seems weirdly distressed about having to leave. for his "job". which jane knows isnt a conventional job but what good does it do to challenge him on that now) because she likes baby. its funny to dress her up and paint her itty bitty little nails and surprise jesse with his daughter's New Look when he comes back home. jane especially enjoys carrying baby around either of their places and pointing out things that they can Admire and Study together. sure its just a sink faucet, but what does baby know about sinks?? or water?? or resource distribution in a moderately sized city??? its gotta be blowing her little mind. they can spend 45 minutes just staring into the mirror together and pondering reality. agony anguish sobbing torture follows obviously, but when they finally get the money from walt, jane says that it can finally be just them. just the three of them. and no one can tell them what to do.

[zjofierose]

18, 20, 24!

18: First, second, or third person? generally i use third for writing, but i have written a couple things in second person and a couple things in first! in fact, i think one of the best short stories i've ever written was in second person. for reading, i prefer third, unless the source material is in first person (like hunger games fic, for example) or if it's a diary/letter/something like this. 20: Which work of yours have you reread the most? definitely sweat, tears, or the sea, LOL. i don't reread any of my stuff that often? when i do, it's usually because i've gotten a comment and i'm trying to remember what they're talking about, lol. but that's one of the few of my own fics that i will reread just for my own pleasure. 24: Did you write any gifts this year? you know, i don't think i did? i don't often write fic as gifts, really, because i feel like it's too hard to get it right. sweat, tears, and the sea was an exception to that, lol. (blows a kiss at @srarahcha)

[mediocreinternetuser]

babygirl

[rosicheeks]

21. your first celebrity crush?

FIRST?????! Shit I don’t even remember yesterday idk tbh

My guesses?

Jesse McCartney or uhm idk Jim Hawkins (treasure planet)??????? Lmao

[sailorkamino]

your pet name [cody, fives, rex, wolffe]

relationships: gn reader x clones

warnings: bastard siblings, clone death/malevolence incident

his pet name

cody

• "cyar'ika! what were you thinking? do you enjoy giving me stress ulcers?"

• mando'a for beloved. a classic. i headcannon the oldest clones are the most fluent in mando'a so i think it comes out when he's emotional. usually when he's angry or comforting a vod. the first time the pet name slips out he's scolding you for getting hurt, so worked up he doesn't realize he's flip flopping between languages. meanwhile waxer is recording everything in the corner.

fives

• "you must be a blaster, becuase i'm stunned, baby."

• fives starts flirting with you right upon meeting you, dropping cheesy pick up lines from romance comics (that he definitely doesn't read in private.) from any other man they would be cringeworthy but from fives? they still are, but you can't help but grin. he's confident but self aware enough to laugh at himself. he often spices up classic pet names by adding stuff like 'my pretty' to make you feel even more special.

rex

• "how was your day, love?"

• the biggest softie in private. and in public. this man adopted the domino twins after knowing them for like an hour, he has a big heart. at first he'll only be romantic when you're alone because he doesn't want give anyone teasing material. he's a very serious captain after all. but the longer you're together the more natural his affection becomes. the jokes are annoying but he doesn't get actually mad until jesse calls you love.

wolffe

• "hey bunny, missed me?"

• losing so many vode at the beginning of the war has made wolffe very protective and honest with his affections. he doesn't want to leave anything unsaid. even though he's known for being intimidating he isn't agaisnt pda. he likes knowing you're all his and no one is brave enough to tease wolffe (except for boost, sinker, and his cc batchmates.) even they're hesitant. wolffe is 100% the feral middle child waiting for a reason to snap.

[whore-era]

a/n: 'reader experiencing ptsd symptoms and not knowing what they are or what they're going through until ellie finds them mid panic after something triggers them. soft and comforting ellie my beloved <;3' this drabble is for this anon. this anon also put in my inbox a lil bit more detail of this request — including their own ptsd episode they experienced, which i didn't feel comfortable posting to the public for ppl to see. so this one is dedicated u to anon! & anyone else who is experiencing something similar, i hope this drabble gives u a lil bit of comfort <3

ellie x fem!reader: comforting you during a PTSD episode

tw: ptsd, ptsd-related symptoms, mentions of violence (guns/gunshots)

ringing.

all you could hear was ringing in your ears. then, you froze.

you completely forgot where you were, what you were doing, who you were with — until you heard it. the gunshot.

one, singular gunshot brought back a memory you tried your hardest to forget, the memory of the night you tried to run from scars — the seraphites.

you usually never went with ellie on patrol, for this very reason. the sounds of guns petrified you, and it wasn't something you were ready to explain to your girlfriend just yet.

but jesse and ellie were going out, and you wanted so badly to look for pumpkin seeds, which were hard to come by in jackson. so, you thought you'd tag along with them, thinking you'd be okay knowing they usually dealt with the infected with knives anyways.

somehow, jesse's knife got lost, and he had to use his shotgun to take down two of the infected.

the ringing in your ears never stopped and you were glued to the ground, your breathing slowing down.

"babe! babe!" a hand waved in your face, and you were snapped out of your lost thought. jesse and ellie were in front of you, their brows furrowed in worry.

"you're trembling, baby," ellie holds onto your arms, "are you okay?"

nothing came out. your mouth unable to speak.

"i think we should cut patrol short. get her back into town." jesse murmurs to ellie. ellie nods, putting an arm around you and leading you to shimmer, helping you get on.

ellie gets on behind you, wrapping her arms around you as she holds onto shimmer's leads.

she couldn't help but notice the way you quivered the entire ride back to town, or how clammy your skin became.

it wasn't long 'til you all made it back. you could hear the bustling and voices chatting, wondering why the patrol ended so early or why you looked like you'd just seen a ghost. jesse was generous enough to explain things to others, coming up with something quick and believable to get them off your back.

ellie helped you off the horse, letting one of the stable-boys take shimmer. her arms were wrapped tightly around you as she walked with you the whole way back home, kissing your hair and murmuring sweet nothings in your ear.

"i'm here, sweet girl. i'm not goin' anywhere," she whispers, "you're okay. i got you."

her words couldn't register in your mind, as you were too distracted by the memories that would play on and off in your brain. it was like you were back there all over again, fearing for your life.

ellie unlocked the front door of the house, gently pushing you inside with her hand on the small of your back. leading you towards your shared bedroom, she sits you on the bed.

everything else went by like a blur. all you could remember was ellie helping you take your clothes off, putting you in a sleep shirt, and helping you sip a little bit of water — then everything faded to darkness.

you were running. running away from the hooded beings — the scars. you could hear them yelling. you heard their feet following behind you. you hid behind a tree and crouched down, clamping a hand over your mouth to muffle your heavy breathing. one of the seraphites come out from the side, pointing a gun at you and putting their finger on the tri—

"no! no! no!" you shoot up, waking up from your sleep, covered in sweat and shaking in fear with tears streaming down your face.

a hand touches your shoulder, startling you, "please! let me go! let me go! i don't want to di-"

ellie grabs your face, forcing you to look at her. "baby! look at me! it's just me," she brings you back down to earth. "i'm here. no one else. just me and you."

you focus on everything around you. ellie's face. her green eyes. her freckles. the darkness outside the windows. the clock reading 4:37AM. the duvet sprawled out on the bed. the polaroids of you and ellie scattered on the wall.

you were in jackson. in your home. with ellie. no one else.

you burst into tears, sobbing into ellie's neck. you were terrified. you thought you were back there, and that you never escaped. it felt so real to you. everything came back so clearly.

"it's okay, baby. i'm here." she coos, "you're safe."

you're safe. you were safe. you weren't there anymore. you were here. with ellie. and ellie was going to do everything in her power to make sure you were okay.

"i-i.." you stutter, "i thought i-i was b-being h-hunted, t-that they f-found—" a tear rolls down your cheek, "—i-i thought they found me."

"you don't have to-" you interrupt ellie.

"no," you sniffle, "i have to get it off my chest. i'm safe now." she nods, allowing you to continue.

"i was just out patrolling one day, for the small group i was with. we needed food. and then i found them, the scars. i saw them just— doing these horrible things to people," you whisper, "and the next thing i knew, they saw me. they chased me and were hunting me down. luckily, i got away. but i could never forget about the way the bullets almost got me." a few tears cascaded down your face, ellie taking the liberty of wiping them away.

"i am so, so sorry, baby." ellie's heart squeezed in her chest, wishing she could've protected you then, knowing she'd fucking kill every last person who touched even lay a finger on your hair. her hand went to cup your face, wiping away the tears with her thumb as you nuzzled into her hand.

"i wish i can make you forget— forget that you ever went through that, even if it meant i'd have to remember it instead," ellie murmured, "but i can't."

ellie brings you closer to her, "all i can do right now is protect you. i promise i will make sure you're safe. put it on my life."

she leans in, her forehead resting against yours, "you'll never have to be scared again, i promise you that, sweet girl." her lips press onto yours, before pulling away again.

you nod, for the first time in awhile, trusting that you'll be okay, knowing that ellie is with you and that you'll never have to be alone.

"okay, els," you hum, "but i don't think i can go back to sleep again. i'm just scared i'm gonna have another nightmare and i don't think i can ha-" she cuts you off.

"okay, pretty girl. we'll stay up 'til the sun comes up and i'll tell jesse that you and i are gonna stay in tomorrow, yeah?" ellie kisses your forehead, "i'm not gonna leave you alone. i'll be here with you. i promise."

[pupkashi]

hi jess, congrats on your milestone! can i request the prompt:  “god you’re bleeding! how the hell did you do that?” “i was trying to cut the tomatoes!” for nanami with a reader who doesn’t really know how to cook. thank u <3

hi friend ! sorry for taking so long to get to this, i hope you enjoy !! <3 srry for any typos not proofread :(

dinner was usually a task nanami did by himself. taking the time to decompress and make a loving meal for the two of you, often times having you hand him seasonings when you watched.

it wasn’t that you didn’t want to cook, in fact you always begged him to let you help out, you didn’t want the burden to weigh heavily on his shoulders. it was a matter of you being a terrible cook.

the first time you’d attempted to make chicken for the two of you, the edges were burnt and you’d somehow managed to leave the center just a tinge pink. when you tried to make breakfast in bed for him, the eggs weren’t completely cooked, causing nanami to spend a couple hours in the restroom.

and so there you stood, counting down the hours until your beloved kento walked through the front doors. you could picture it now, the candles lit, him in his uniform with his loose tie and sleeves rolled up.

‘oh honey did you do all this for me?’

‘course i did baby! i can cook now, you have one less thing to worry about’

‘you’re so perfect my y/n, I’m never going to leave you’

your daydream was cut short by the burning smell coming from the stove, eyes wide as you cursed, opening a window and throwing out the burnt chicken.

it’s fine, you thought, i still have two hours left, i can do this!

you did not have this.

there were bandaids on three of your fingers, the poorly cut veggies sitting in a bowl besides you as you grabbed the tomato. you were completely focused, so focused that you didn’t hear nanami open the door, much less his footsteps over the sound of the sizzling in the pans next to you.

and as you went for the first cut of the tomato, your eyes wandered to the window, seeing his reflection. for some reason your hand didn’t register your brain telling it stop chopping, leading to you cutting yet another finger.

“ken hi!” you smiled, setting the knife down and walking over to the sink, letting the warm water flow over the fresh cut.

“hello my lov- oh my god are you bleeding?” he was quick to rush to your side, eyes wide as he took your hands in his, “how the hell did you do that? it’s so deep!” his honey eyes are looking into yours with worry, “let me get a bandaid” he’s kissing the top of your head softly before b-lining to the restroom, emerging with a bandaid in hand seconds later.

“i was trying to cut the tomatoes” you mumble, a pour on your lips.

it’s after he’s placed the bandaid over your cut with the softest hands, kissing over it gently and looking at you with pure adoration in his eyes that the scene of it all finally hits him.

“why are you cooking?” there’s a smile he’s fighting off his lips, but he’s losing very badly, especially when you furrow your brows up at him and cross your arms over your chest.

“I can’t cook for my lover anymore? what is this an interrogation?” your defensive tone only has him melting even more, glancing over the stove and pointing.

“what’s that supposed to be?” your shoulders slump at yet another piece of butchered meat, mumbling a ‘chicken’ before sighing.

“i just wanted to make your day easier” your eyes meeting his as you continue, “you’ve been so exhausted and i wanted to lift at least some of that weight off your shoulders” you’re uncrossing your arms, fiddling with your fingers before he’s taking one of your hands in his, the other coming under your chin, tilting your head up towards him.

“you already make my days easier, my love” his voice calming as he smiled down at you, “you don’t know how much you do for me.” there’s sincerity dripping off his words, and the way he’s looking at you has your knees a little weak.

“cmon little chef, let’s order takeout” he smiles, sweeping you off your feet and placing you on the couch, handing you his phone, “choose whatever you want, I’ll be back after i shower” he says, kissing your forehead before walking into your shared bedroom.

maybe you couldn’t bare the burden of cooking, but you could always manage to make him smile and his days a little brighter with your soft smiles and gentle touches.

[pendwelling]

Helloo,sorry for the trouble but could you tell me a bit about the ending of twsb? Is it a happy ending? Do all the main 3 get to live together? I am still in 170s as there is no other eng translation out there to read ahead... 🥺. I would really appreciate your help as the curiosity is killing me.

//SPOILERS FOR TWSB ENDING!!!!!!//

I answered a similar question on twt/x so I'll just elaborate on my answer from there haha:

It's a very VERY happy ending!!!!! Think of all the struggles and desires of the main characters and imagine them finally getting peace, solace, and happiness. TWSB at its core had always been a very character-driven story where the goals and desires of the characters were what largely push the plot forward, and after all their struggles, you can tell the ending was lovingly crafted over a careful build-up of 920 chapters. They all get their resolution, and character who have went through tragedies get their second chances at living a kinder life, and the villains get their comeuppance in the fair way that TWSB tends to treat its antagonists (there's also proper trial investigations being done and etc etc, politics and court affairs in this novel is actually so interesting.)

All the characters have obtained their perfect endings in their fitting respective ways! It's a super gratifying conclusion for readers, and the thing about Sookym is that they also do a great job in making us care (or feel strong emotions towards) their large cast of characters.

In a more meta sense (since TWSB, for its genre, is surprisingly very meta)(and this is also a spoiler in regards to the universe's God), the "God" wishes for the main characters to be happy, and so the story has shifted itself so that a happy ending is something that our beloved characters are finally able to achieve for themselves without outside interference of original narrative structure forces (think of it a bit like ORV's Probability, TWSB has something similar to that). And in fact, for both the TWSB universe, AND the original QPB universe, as well. I can also confirm that the original Jesse Venetiaan gets his well-deserved happy ending, too! 🥹

Yeseo does indeed get to reunite with his siblings, too, and he ALSO gets to live with Cédric and Ham Ga-in Christelle on the weekends! (Despite pretty much being "married" into the Imperial Family and becoming Pope, this guy still chooses to work his usual 9-to-5 in the modern world LMAO.....)

There is an inter-world arrangement going on that is a bit hard to explain because there's a lot of context behind how it came to be haha, but basically Yeseo is essentially a bride that moves between households after getting married (LMAO). Everyone is very happy! Cédric especially, is very very smug that he gets to keep his beloved partner close by—he even safely escorts Yeseo back home like a dutiful partner whenever he needs to go back to his family home HAHAHA. Jung Hyunseo and him kinda have some beef over it, actually (Hyunseo: "this is his home?? why does he need an escort...." *insert smug Cédric face*). Hyunseo is really the older brother who has to deal with the antics of eccentric otherworldly in-laws and a model-student younger brother who has now grown up to be a bit of a troublemaker..... (There's a scene where Yeseo shows up and goes "Here's our baby!" while holding pretty-much-their-baby(DONT ASK WKDJKD)(AND NO THERES NO MPREG) and gives Hyunseo a near heart attack while Cédric looks so so so smug and self-fulfilled, he's such a brat..... (affectionate)).

All in all, after the war between the Riester Empire (with the allied forces of other countries + Crown Princess Elise) and the Sneijders of Venetiaan, there are award ceremonies (several characters get promoted or given new titled ranks), memorials and eulogies for those fallen in the war, and a very well wrapped-up conclusion to this huge conflict (again politics in TWSB are actually very interesting and really well done imo). It largely has to do with the Almighty God, as well, but I won't say much about that because 1.) It's a revelation that is best made while reading yourself, and 2.) It's a bit complicated to understand without the proper context anyway hahajah....

(I can also confirm that future emperor Cédric probably won't have to worry about siring an heir. Congratulations to Yeseo for essentially being the queerplatonic mother to his two partners' "children".....)(this sounds absolutely crazy but it makes sense OK trust me, but anyway, CYC are partners and I trust that they will continue to support each other for a long, long time hehe)

It's super, super satisfying, and a very happy ending for Yeseo and friends! :')

[romanarose]

About a Girl: Chapter 7

Beautiful header by my beloved @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

Joel Miller x Trans!Fem!Reader (Nickname, Blue)

Series Masterlist : The Last of Us Masterlist : Full Masterlist

Summary: No specific week but I needed this chapter to keep things straight.

Warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter: 18+ ONLY!! I cannot warn against everything, but these are major themes. Joel is a lil ignorant but not out of hate. He just doesn't know. He's trying his best. There will be smut. Penetrative sex, all of the anal play, oral. There will be transphobia from other people. Addiction and alcoholism. QUICK child neglect not by Joel but I promise, Sarah is fine and is having a great time in life. Fetishization of women attracted to women by a shitty guy. Will update as needed. Again, this is adult content. Expect adult content.

Immersivity: Reader is transgender, AMAB female, reader has had gotten bottom surgery, not top, and is on hormones. reader has visible hair and a blue streak in hair, but not described. Could be braids, could be natural hair, whatever. Header is for aesthetics only. Reader is about Joel and Tommy's height. Let me know if i miss anything!

A/N: Okay heavy on the drug use and abuse warning

TRANS LIVES MATTER! TRANS YOUTH MATTER! TRANS ELDERLY MATTER! TRANS WOMEN MATTER! TRANS MEN MATTER! NON BINARY TRANS MATTER!

Kayla watched Joel, Tess, Tommy, and a woman she could only assume was Tess’s ‘girlfriend’ laugh on the other side of the bar. Of course, none of them knew she was here. Last time she saw Sarah was 2 months ago, Joel refusing to let her see her own daughter. He didn’t have the right to do that, then just leave her at home while he went out drinking. Kayla stood in the corner near the entrance. That’s when she saw her. She was hard to miss, tall like an amazon and blue in her hair walked in. Pushing herself off the bar, Kayla walked right into her, spilling her drink all over Joel’s whore girlfriend. She looked like a skank with her tight black clothes and crop top. 

“Oh shit!” She didn’t sound too irritated at first, but when Kayla shoulder checked her and made an exit, Blue shouted after her. “What’s your problem?”

Kayla just kept walking. Clearly, she didn’t recognize her. They were very different; Blue wasn’t Joel’s type, she was probably just a phase. Something to distract him, to stick his dick into. She’d never be her.

*

Joel saw you walk across the bar, joining him, Tommy, Tess and Talia for drinks. Max would be here, said he was introducing a ‘friend’, which probably just meant a woman he was sleeping with behind his wife’s back. Joel had once tried to out him at a work party, mentioning a lady friend of Max’s he’d met to his wife.They got in a fight, but she didn’t leave him. She was a sweet lady, didn’t deserve his shit but with their kids and being a stay at home mom, she had no options. 

Joel noticed you were cringing, waving your hands as if drying them. Were your clothes wet? He couldn’t tell in your all black.

“Baby?” He stood up from the booth, walking to you. “You okay?” 

“Yeah.” You rolled your eyes. “Some bitch just spilled her drink on me?”

Talia stood up now, looking you over. “What? Why?”

“I dunno.” You shrugged. “But it was full, now I’m fucking soaked.”

Joel began to take off his flannel, white tee shirt underneath. “Here-”

“Oh no, cowboy,” You chuckle. “I’ve stolen enough of your clothes.”

Talia and Tess ushered her to the girls bathroom. “C’mon, we’ll swap around.”

When you come out, you’re wearing Talia’s tank top and Tess’s brown jacket, and looking damn good in it.

 You snuggle up to Joel in the corner as his phone buzz’s, showing Tommy’s name. Joel flips it open to see a text and a pic after a little notification that he was being charged extra for said picture. It’s the babysitter, Jess, and Sarah at the park, eating pop tarts. Joel smiled.

You lean in, smiling too. You and Sarah had grown close, sweet girl that she was, and you were even added to the approved pick up list at daycare, a list only Joel, Tommy, Tess and Frank were on. Kayla was not on that list, you thought to yourself smugly as you looked at the happy picture.

Joel had tried, he really did, but he had to lay out a few rules. Kayla cannot have Sarah over night, and she can’t leave town. No home visits until Joel is sure Sarah is safe. This lead to some fights, some names being called. Blue was once next to Joel during one of these, where Joel said he wanted the first visit supervised. He offered to let Kayla come to his home, to go to a park, hell he’d pay for Chuck E. Cheese, but she wasn’t taking Sarah alone. The things Kayla called him caused you to try and take the phone out of Joel’s hands to cuss her out, but he remained calm and refused. He was far more reasonable with her than you’d be. Joel had complete and total rights and could legally refuse to let Kayla anywhere near her if he wanted to. But he didn’t want to. 

Still, you’d stepped in as a mother figure in a lot of ways. You were careful not to overstep or make the girl uncomfortable, nor to ut yourself in a position that would devastated her if you and Joel broke up. Still, she was a special kid. She was sweet, packing things in her lunch for Ellie because she said Ellie just gets sandwiches, no treats. She brought you home art she made just for you. Once, when you picked her up to take her out to the farm, Sarah made a hanging suncatcher out of tissue paper and gave it to you. You hung it from the mirror in your car, and the next time you picked her up, when Sarah saw it was still there, she was bouncing so excitedly you’d barely gotten her buckled in. You valued the things she gave you.

You loved how she cared for everyone around her. Frank clearly adored her, sweet man that he was. They worked on art all day, and sometimes you drove out to the farm to find them playing soccer. She would tell you excitedly what she did with Frank all day, or that Bill let her sit in the tractor and ‘drive’. Sarah adored ‘auntie Tess’ and had been growing close to Talia. Talia barely had any family and mentioned Sarah would be a cute flower girl.

 Nothing compared to the shenanigans shed get into with Tommy. Sometimes they’d come home with scrapes and bruises but always smiling. Once they burst into the door soaking wet, saying theyd decided to jump into the creek even though it was fall. Joel always fussed over the little things with her, like warming her up after the cold of the creek, but it was harmless fun, the little girl was having the best life possible. 

But there was no one in the entire world Sarah loved more than her daddy. It was always “Daddy says-” and “Daddy thinks-” and her little face lighting up whenever she sees him. They frequently fell asleep on the couch together when you came over for movies, cuddled up under blankets and snoring. It was sweet.

“Here comes Max.” Talia mumbles and you and her lock eyes. She didn’t like Max either and honestly you weren’t sure why Tess kept inviting him places. It was the end of harvest, so they all were out celebrating so I guess it would be rude not to but fuck, you didn’t like this guy. “And his new lady.”

Tess looks up. “Oh shiiit. Joooooel?” 

He’s with the bitch who threw her drink on you, but Tess didn’t know that… who was she to Tess? She was pretty, medium dark skin, long, long hair. It had a little curl, like Joel’s but without the premature grays.

“What the fuck?” Joel mumbles and now you're confused.

You grab his hand. “Baby? Do you know her?” The way his face gets hot and chest rises, you get a bad feeling.

“Yeah, that… Kayla…”

You head whips over to Joel. “What? She’s the one who spilled a drink on me?”

“What-”

But Tess was already getting up to confront them, despite Talia trying to hold her back. 

“I fucking told you if I saw your bitch ass face again I was gonna pop you!”

Max’s eyes go wide, but makes no attempt to protect Kayla. “Hey! What the hell is going on!”

Tess turns to him with a harsh glare. “Do you seriously have no idea who she is?” Max’s head shaking looks convincing enough, because she points a finger in Kayla’s face. “This is Joel’s shit ex-wife, who I’m willing to bet seduced you to get back into Joel’s pants!”

By now, you and Joel were stood up, so was Tommy who’d made his way to the others. You wanted to give Kayla a piece of your mind, but you could tell Joel needed you.

“He never married ‘er” Tommy corrected. “Purposfully got pregnant and got close, but no cigar.”

Kayla crossed her arms at Tess and Tommy. “Our baby was a gift from God. and you need to mind your fucking business.”

“Don’t you fucking-!”

But Max shoved Tommy, yelling at him not to talk to his ‘woman’ like this. This briefly created a scuffle between the men, but Joel left your side, getting between them.

“Hey! Hey!” He grabbed Tommy’s shoulders, whispering harshly for him to stop. Joel turned to Kayla. “You planned this. I know you fucking did, what do you want? Sarah ain’t here.”

Joel could be so smart, but so naive sometimes. She didn’t want Sarah, Sarah was a product of her obsession. She wanted Joel.

“Nothing, I’m just seeing Max.” She continued, arms still crossed,

Tess huffed. “Yeah, his wife know about that?”

Kayla ignored her.

Joel left Tommy, walking up to his ex. She was smaller than him but quite a bit, Joel towering over her. Made you aware of the height you had on her. You didn’t usually mind that you and Joel were the same height, but right now it was stark how different you looked from the cute, petite ex. 

“I just find it funny you’re here instead of with Sarah. So she can have a baby sitter, but can’t see her mom?”

Joel was clearly trying to keep an even temper. “Kay, I told you, you can see her but the first visit gotta be supervised and no-”

“I HAVE A RIGHT TO SEE HER!”

“No you don’t, the courts took that-”

Then you saw it. Before you could move, Kayla balled up a fist and punched Joel right in the throat. Tess caught him as Joel stumbled back, Talia jumping out of the booth to check on him. Tommy looked ready to throat punch her back, but Tommy wasn’t the kind of guy to hit a women.

You, however, weren’t a man.

You jump her, grabbing a fistpull of her shirt and punching her once, twice, three times before she got a hit back, kicking you between the legs. You begin to fall to the floor, but grab her hair and take her down with you, using gravity to your advantage. Surprised by the fall, you use the fact she’s coughing on the ground from the impact to climb on top of her. Kayla gets a punch or two in, but for every hit you get three. It’s not until you feel arms around you, Tess and Tommy, and you’re pulled away that your realize you’ve broken her nose.

Max helps her up, and despite taking a beating, Kayla is still screaming at you and Joel. “You fucking cunt! He’ll never love you, you gangly skank!” You almost go to hit her again when Talia places a hand on your shoulder. You turn your head, seeing her and then seeing Joel. He’s holding his throat, still coughing and struggling to breath. You want Kayla dead.

Tess shouts at Max, who stood dumbly at the sidelines rubbing his two brain cells together to try and process what was happening. “Get her out of here or I swear to god, I’m gonna let Blue kill her!”

Max does as he’s told, looking confused as he pulls a still-shouting Kayla away.

You all get kicked out of the bar.

*

After making sure Joel wasn’t dying, Tess and Talia said their good byes, driving off to Tess’s place that Talia had just moved into. Tommy fretted over Joel’s throat, but once Joel shooed him away, humiliated, Tommy said he’d go home and watch Sarah so you two could talk, but expected a conversation tomorrow.

You sat in Joel’s truck, parked near a pond. Your Nirvana cassette was playing quietly, a few honks of geese in the background as well as crickets made quite the orchestra. 

“She ever hit you before?” You ask, quietly.

He sighs. “Sometimes, yeah. But not like that.”

Blood boils in your chest, fists clenching at the idea of hurting such a sweet, good man. She knew, she fucking knew he’d never stand up to her, that he’d never ht a woman none the less his girlfriend or the mother of his child. She knew he was too gentle, too loving, too good.

“What… how else? If you wanna tell me. Don’t gotta, I swear.” You needed to know. Really, you wanted every single detail so you could make him pay… But admitting this sort of thing took time.

Joel wouldn’t look at you, shame on his face as he fidgeted. “Mostly slapping, some pushing. Nothing that left a mark.”

Of course not. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Joel.”

Joel huffs out a disbelieving laugh, shaking his head and you see wetness in his eyes. “Of course it is! I let a woman hurt me, I let her cheat on me, I let her neglect my daughter, I let her- Blue I’m a shit dad and a shit boyfriend and I probably had it coming and-”

“Stop!” You said, a little louder than you meant to. The vein in his neck bulges in tension and you feel bad for scaring him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry just…” You reach for his hand. “You didn’t deserve it, Joel. Please look at me? Please?” When Joel turns to face you, the tears threaten to spill over but never quite do. Still, his face is red despite is tan skin and his hand is shaking, jaw clenched. “You could never, ever deserve someone hurting you, especially someone who was supposed to love you. You don’t ever talk bad about her, won’t let Tommy or Tess talk bad, you’re respectful even after everything. You deserve better than her.”

He swallowed thickly. “I have better. Better than I deserve.”

You can’t help shaking your head. “You deserve everything good in this world, Joel Miller.”  You kiss him gently, tender, softness in his lifes a contrast to the abuse he suffered. You sweet, sweet man… “And you are not a bad dad, Joel Miller. You’re the best dad that little baby could ask for, don’t you ever let me catch you talking that shit again, okay? You’re a good dad.” a kiss, a soft whimper from his abused, sore throat. “A good brother.” A kiss, his chest rising. “A good friend.” A kiss, his teeth gently biting your bottom lip as you pull away. “And the best boyfriend I could ever ask for. I love you, cowboy, with everything in me, so does all your family. And you deserve all that and more.”

*

Joel and you let the evening slip away like that, innocently kissing by the pond while In Utero played on repeat, but Joel didn’t mind. Sometimes, you’d stop to explain a song to him, why songs like ‘Rape Me’ are not what he thinks they are about. These conversations lead to him opening up about more in his life. It was easier with you.

He told you about Kayla, how it wasn’t just the physical. That would almost be easier. The way she’d accuse him of cheating if he didn’t want to have sex, making him feel obligated to never say no to avoid a huge fight. He confessed, for the first time out loud, that he thinks Tommy has PTSD and thats why he’s turning to drugs and alcohol. He says it's getting worse, and while Tess was always a casual user in a club, Tommy was using more and more even as Tess quit. He said how he thought Talia was so good for Tess in that aspect and he was so happy for them, but he was also worried because now no one was there to watch Tommy. He quickly followed this by reiterating that he didn’t mean he wanted Tess to use again, it was simply his thoughts from the perspective of a brother.

He told you he was worried about Sarah’s friend, Ellie. That they’d had a play date as his house, that Joel and Tommy had to have a background check before it happened. He said he was worried about Ellie, that when he cooked up some chef boyardee, she devoured it down so fast he made another can because she seemed so hungry. Said her clothes were dirty and her hair messy. You promised to check on her the next time you picked up. You were a mandatory reporter, and although this could just be an off day, or she had been out playing before the playdate, if she still looked a mess you’d make an anonymous report. He felt reassured after that. You always knew what to do.

As for you, you told him about how your family rejected you when you came out as gay, kicking you out on the streets where you met Talia. You tell him about the hard times in homeless shelters, scrambling to find food and work when your parents held your social security card hostage. How, just when they’d finally begun to allow you back into their home occasionally, you’d realized you weren’t actually gay, you were trans, and it all started all over again. You tell him about Jeff, the older man in the Austin gay scene who took in homeless youth, how you held his hand as he took his last breath, Joel pulled you close, sliding you up right next to him as you cried at the memory. 

By the time you and him drove home, he felt like he knew you on a whole other level, a way he’d never felt with Kayla. You knew him like no one else did.

And then you and him walk into his house, and that happy bubble pops.

“Tommy?” Joel calls. “Sarah? We’re home, sorry it took so long- SHIT! Blue!”

*

Tommy was on the couch, band around his arm and a needle on the floor.

“SHIT SHIT SHIT!” Joel runs over to him, moving the needle out of the way and smacking him on the face. “Tommy! Wake up!” Her turns to where you are standing, frozen and scared. “Find Sarah, please…” Joel’s voice cracks even as Tommy gains consciousness.

You run outside first, to the backyard. If she’s inside you can find her easier but if she’s outside, you needed to get to her before she got to a street. When you get there, you find Sarah happily playing with her Furby and barbie dolls in the grass.

“Hi Blue!” She smiles at you, and you run down the deck to hold her. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Sweet, empathetic girl. You bury your face into her hair, your heart racing with relief that she was safe. “Yeah baby, everything is great.” Tommy. He had started getting conscious when you left the room, was he okay? You knew he did club drugs, just jesus christ, heroine? You check the yard. It was secure, safe. She wasn’t getting out. “Stay here Sarah, okay?”

“Mhm.” She was preoccupied with her games, unaware as to what is happening inside.

You get inside, running into Joel in the hallway. “She’s okay, she’s just sitting in the yard.”

Joel opens his mouth, about to go outside to check on here when he hears Tommy mutter something about I told you so. His face hardens with a darkness you’d never seen before, and Joel turns around to storm at his brother. When he raises a fist, you run up and catch it, preventing Joel from hitting the wobbly, out of it younger man.

“YOU”RE DOING HEROINE IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTER!” He bellows, screaming at Tommy in a way that is making you nervous. Once Joel lowers his fist and you feel safe, you quickly pull out your phone and text Tess ‘Joel’s house NOW. 911.’

Tommy puts his hands up defensively. “Relax, man, she’s not here, she’s outside.”

His large chest rises, posturing, but when he talks you can here his voice breaking. “You’re supposed to be watching her! She’s 5, Tommy! Five! She’s just a baby! You can’t leave her alone she’s just a baby! I’m supposed to trust you! Of all people, I should be able to trust YOU! BUt you leave my baby alone!” 

You got the feeling this was half about Tommy, half about the fact Kayla left an infant Sarah alone to scream while she cheated on Joel. He never forgave himself for that, and he’ll never forgive himself for this.

Tommy looked sick, like he wasn’t paying attention. His eyes kept crossing. You leave Joel’s side to grab him, guiding him to the couch where you sit with him. You’d seen plenty of heroin use back in the day. “You need to sit. How much did you take?”

Tommy mumbles an answer, and you sigh in relief, looking up to Joel. “I think he’ll be okay, it’s not a lot.”

He blinks at you. “Oh good, Blue, that’s just great. Just a little bit of heroine, no big deal-”

“I didn’t say that-”

“Who cares that he’s a coked up, alcoholic addict who left Sarah alone to wander off! Who cares about that!”

“Don’t shout at me!” You yell, still holding Tommy. “Don’t you dare imply I don’t care about Sarah! I’ve seen people die from heroin and I’m just trying to tell you your brother won’t be one!”

You expected him to start apologizing, like he usually did if he snapped at anyone, but instead, he surprised you. Joel turned around, pulled at his hair and shouted. It wasn’t at you. You weren’t scared he’d hurt you and it didn’t seem like he was trying to scare you. He wasn’t even shouting at Tommy. He was just… shouting, like everything had been building, and building and it was now an involuntary action. Watching in quiet, you and Tommy can see his body shaking as he breathed deep. You wanted to hold him but you didn’t think it was the right time.

Slowly, Joel steadies himself. You can tell he's doing the breathing you taught him. When he turns around, he’s crying. “I’m sorry.” That’s all he says. You don’t want to say it's okay, because it's not. But it will be. You love him, and you knew him well enough that this wasn’t an intimidation tactic. You’d work through it. “I texted Tess, she’s on her way to get Tommy to watch him.”

He nodded, then turned, muttering about getting Sarah to bed. It’s dark.

*

When Joel came down stairs, Sarah fast asleep, he saw Tommy sleeping in your arms with you fingers to his neck, Tess and Talia sitting with him. “He okay?” 

“Yeah.” You nod. “I’m just making sure he stays okay.”

Joel nods, then looks to the other women. “”M sorry you got dragged into this.”

Talia promises it’s okay, but Tess stands to be by her friend. “It’s alright, Joel. He knows he wasn’t supposed to do this shit at home.”

Sucking in a breath, Joel reminds Tess tha this is heroin, and he shouldn’t be doing it at all. “He needs help, Tess. He need rehab and therapy and-”

“Joel, you know damn well he ain’t gonna go.”

Joel breathes in, then breaths out. “Well he can’t come here until he’s clean. Heroin, coke, molly, all of it-”

“Joel-”

“I’m not doing it, Tess! I can’t! There is a needle in my house where Sarah plays, what if she walked inside and found it!”

Tess was silent. She had taken the needle and wrapped it up, putting it in her purse for proper disposal, she knew how dangerous they could be.

Joel continued. “What if Kayla came here and saw him? I could lose my parental rights and she’d be up, she could gain full custody after that and she would be right too! Jesus! I don’t think you guys understand what happened here!”

“I do.” You spoke up. “I understand Joel, i think we all do. And I think it’s a good idea for Tommy to go to rehab and get help. I’m just trying to focus on making sure he’s okay right now, alright?” You speak gently, calmly. Like you’re explaining these to your school kids; clear, not condescending.

It was all becoming too much for Joel, you knew. He opens his mouth to speak when you hear the pitter patter of bare feet on the floor. “Daddy?” Sarah appears in a little onesie, scarf in her hair, rubbing her eyes. “I heard yelling.”

Seamlessly, Joel going into parent mode, picking her up in his arms and speaking soft words. “Sorry baby, that was the TV, we had it too loud.”

Sarah surveys the room, clinging to her dad. Kids often can tell when something is wrong. “I wanted to say goodnight to uncle Tommy… is he sleeping?”

Wincing, Joel responded. “Yeah baby. He’s asleep.”

“Oh… can I give him a goodnight kiss?”

Joel walked Sarah over to Tommy with a nervous energy. He knew nothing could hurt her, but it didn’t help him. He let Sarah lean over. “Uncle Tommy’s gonna leave for a little bit, so say goodbye.”

“Why?”

“He just has to take care of things, don’t you worry your pretty head about it.”

Sarah kissed Tommy’s sleeping forehead, whispering sweet dreams. Then, she sang twinkle twinkle little star while stroking his hair. She looked at you when Joel pulled her back up. “That’s what daddy sings to me.”

You smile. “Good job, Sarah. I bet uncle Tommy will have-” Your voice breaks, and you hide back tears. “Sweet dreams.”

“Alright baby girl, time for bed.” Joel began to take her off to her room again, but pointed at Tommy, then at the door.

*

Tess and Talia and you all put Tommy in Tess’s car, Talia pulling you aside. “You wanna come with us? We can get your car in the morning.”

But you shake your head. “No, no Joel and I are gonna talk.”

She gave you a sympathetic look and a hug. After thanking her and Tess, and one more look at Tommy, you head back to the house. 

Joel is already standing there. He speaks before you have a chance to.

“This isn’t gonna work.”

Tommy tommy tommy.... what ar you doing with your life...

For the record, we are NOT shaming addicts here. I worked in social work AND if I am being honest I delt with a pretty fucking awful alcohal addiction. I got it together and now I can drink casually but genuinly it was rough for a while. So no, im not shaming tommy for being an addict. But, putting sarah in danger is NOT okay.

And

JOOOEEEELLLLLLLL

LMK your thoughts ;-;

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[literallyjustanerd]

Clone Wars Hospital AU Headcanons

Forgive me my shameless indulgence, but years of working in a hospital has given me Thoughts™ so just for some stupid fun: Welcome to the GHR: the Grand Hospital of the Republic! Where the Jedi are doctors, the clones are nurses, and the padawans are interns

501st battalion: Paediatrics

212th battalion: Maternity

104th battalion: Gen-Med

327th battalion: Orthopedics

Corrie Guard: Emergency Department

Headcanons below:

Paediatrics: Ward 501, Paediatrician Dr Anakin Skywalker

The ward is split on loving or hating Anakin, there's no in between

He's great with the kids though, the patients love him

Rex is the unit manager who has more experience than Anakin despite Anakin “outranking” him

Has to gently steer Anakin back on track and wearily remind him not to make orders just to spite other doctors

Constant happy music playing in the ward, everyone has fun accessories and brightly coloured scrubs

Fives and Echo are the most senior nurses and also the worst influences

Together they can cannulate a kid without them even noticing but also they're the ones shit-talking the annoying/unhelpful parents in the nurses' station five minutes later

If the kids are extra good, Jesse lets them colour in his tattoo

Dogma and Tup are the new grads - Tup is great with the kids, gentle and always gets them smiling, Dogma makes them cry no matter how hard he tries

Kix is NICU-trained and somehow still remembers every single piece of anatomy and physiology from training. Unparallelled medication knowledge. He’s the one all the student nurses want to be paired with

Ahsoka is on her paediatric rotation under Anakin's instruction

She's the intern the nurses give their feedback and requests to when they don't want to talk to Anakin, because they know Anakin will listen to Ahsoka over them

Maternity: Ward 212, Obstetrician Dr Obi-Wan Kenobi

Obi-Wan works closely with Anakin, refers most of his clients there for their child’s care

Anakin did rotations with him in training, Obi-Wan sometimes forgets that he's now a fully registered doctor and will still try to instruct/encourage him

Obi-Wan has borrowed Ahsoka for days in clinic or in the birthing unit, during which time the nurses will spend their entire shift trying to convince her to come to their unit instead

Obi-Wan is beloved by the nurses because he actually asks them for their input, unlike SOME doctors who just give orders (Anakin)

Did you catch him talking to the unit manager after handover this morning?? Hardcore flirting at 7:05am?? Cody was definitely into it

Cody is one of the most involved unit managers - he’s on the floor with the other nurses most days, always staying overtime and pulling double shifts to help keep things running smoothly

Waxer and Boil are considered bad luck charms - whenever they’re rostered on the same shift, things will always go to shit

God forbid either of them mentions it being “nice” or “quiet” on any given day - that just guarantees that three minutes later they’ll have five labouring people come in actively pushing 

The two of them once delivered a baby in the parking lot outside because the mother didn’t make it in time - the parents still bring Numa in to visit sometimes

Their nurses have the best stories, sometimes even more gory than ED

General Medical: Ward 104, Physician Dr Plo Koon

Has Dr Plo been here forever?? Nobody at the hospital can remember a time he didn't work here

The best doctor, agreed by all nurses and patients

Keeps offering free check-ups to the nurses on the ward

Brings snacks for the nurses' station

Wolffe is the scariest unit manager there is - grads and students are terrified of him

The unit is the most efficient in the hospital because of it

God help the pathologist who loses a sample from them. He will not hesitate to riskman you

*Over the PA* “Visiting hours finish at 1900. It is now 1902. Get the fuck out.”

Emergency Department: Corrie Guard, lawless wasteland

Boost, Comet and Sinker knew him in training and are immune to his glare, they use this power to constantly fuck with him

Caffeinated to the point of medical concern

Lectures drunk uni students about the dangers of alcohol before finishing night shift at 0730 and going home to drink wine straight from the bottle

If Fox has to triage one more belligerent idiot demanding immediate attention for a stubbed toe he's going to come through the plastic window and throw hands

Take the turkey sandwich and shut the fuck up

Constant arguments with the ward over whether or not the patients are stable enough for ward transfer

Just take the fucking patient Wolffe, they've got enough to deal with down here, they're bed blocked and there's a line out the door

Orthopedics: Ward 327, Orthopedic surgeon Dr Aayla Secura

They all started in sports science

The most jacked nurses

Group gym sessions before or after shifts

I don't care if you're tired. You're getting out of that bed whether you want to or not. Use it or lose it. Mobilise, bitch.

They’re the ones who keep stealing the bladder scanner from gen med but won’t admit to it

If you witnessed the incident between Dr Secura and the unit manager Bly at the last Christmas party, no you didn't

Bonus:

The Bad Batch are agency nurses, they go where they're needed and everyone hates them because they make more on the hour for it

Weird mish-mash of different skills and background knowledge

Will go eat dinner in their car instead of in the break room with the other nurses

Tech will not stop correcting people on the wards he’s put on, he is not popular for this despite mostly being right

“You can’t nurse-initiate that drug.”

“That phone order is invalid. We need to call the doctor for another.”

“The patient’s blood pressure is 135/82. This is technically outside normal parameters.”

Crosshair openly shit talks the other nurses with his patients because he knows he won’t be there tomorrow to catch the fallout

[wikitpowers]

Rank all the people the Herondales fell in love with, clary, Jesse, Ty etc. jace‘s mom doesn’t count.

ty blackthorn - MY BABY BOY! MY HERONDALE’S OTHER HALF! HE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME AND IS BY FAR ONE OF THE COOLEST TSC CHARACTERS EVER + i’m so hyped for his arc in twp, ik it will be crazy <3

clary fairchild - the og girlie :( she means so much to me and makes me feel so nostalgic, i admire her so much for her bravery and ability to not give an f what anybody says. she gets a lot of shit from the fandom but she’s just a girl trying to make sense of a world she never knew, she needs a break (i love her🫶🏻)

tessa gray - tessa, my beloved! honestly she shares the same spot as clary bc she’s so cool! i love how she’s more calm and patient (not as chaotic as say clary or emma), like we need mcs who aren’t always extroverted and reckless! and ofc tessa is still the biggest badass ;)

jesse blackthorn - he has last place unfortunately! and not bc i hated him as a character or anything like that but simply bc his story didn’t grip me as much as the others (although initially i thought it would interest me more) but i still think he’s sweet and him and lucie are cute - pls don’t kill me!

[kaiandels]

Two Hearts pt.2: Ellie Williams X Reader

🐚

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿

warnings: crisis abt 🏳️‍🌈, a bit of angst (but Dina is there to make you feel better 🤎), religious tr4uma, mild swearing , y/n having a very long dialogue, and NO INTIMACY displayed yet. YET! okay?

PROOFREAD! (for the first time in forever~)

p.s: this is going to be a tad bit emotional. i mean, “denial” is obviously caused by a root of bottled-emotions right? and thank you for liking pt. 1 🥹 and i’m very sorry if Ellie isn’t really present in this part, this is supposed to be about the reader and the reader only. But she’ll appear in the next part I promise!

After the wonderful moment that you shared with Ellie, you found yourself trapped in a void that constantly held you down. You couldn’t tell anyone, there is some sort of chain that you felt around your throat that makes it so hard to speak. It’s almost as if you’re choking on the air that was supposed to keep you alive. And what makes it harder is that Ellie already left, your source of calmness. Not even because it’s getting late, it’s because her date messaged her that “she wants to give it another try”. But it’s no one’s fault really. If anything, you felt as if it was your fault because you couldn’t admit to yourself that Ellie was the one you really loved. But you shut down that feeling everytime, because you always thought that it was wrong.

Your shaky breaths led you to feel panic, you wanted to call Ellie. But you knew that you can’t because she genuinely wanted to fix the relationship between her and her date because according to her, it was going pretty well until she “Fucked Up” by mentioning you too much. You understood that. So well, even. But why did that feel like you just got punched on the chest? You shook your head and let your mind calm down even just for a second which led you to message your beloved friend, Dina. God knows that you need her right now.

You finally burst out in laughter. Talking with Dina always felt so bittersweet, she always made situations much more lightweight for you even just temporarily. And you will always forever be grateful for her. You always thought that Jesse was such a lucky man. They were a perfect pair. And secretly, Jesse and Dina were rooting for you and Ellie. They have always envisioned double dates with you and Ellie or even when in the future, when you both have families… they imagined the get-together’s on Christmas, Newyear’s, Halloween, or any holiday for that matter. And they were frustrated, and even upset just by the thought of knowing that you both were struggling to admit to yourselves that you both loved eachother in no other way that a man or woman could ever do.

“Sweetie?” you heard Dina’s soothing voice knocking on your door. Swiftly standing up as you opened the door jumping in to her arms sobbing. “Aw… poor baby. Okay, okay, okay.. let’s get over to the couch okay? Sit down and i’ll open some wine and a huggeee tub of icecream for us. Alright?” you nodded and smiled as you felt Dina’s soft fingers wipe your tears away. You both went to the living room as Dina assisted you to sit down. You told her it was fine, and there was really no reason for her to “baby” you like this. “Nuh-uh, today is about you. And besides, I get to hear about the stupid things Ellie said… or done.” You laughed as Dina brought 2 glasses of wine and the tub of icecream.

“So, what happened with Ellie?” Dina asked giving you a spare spoon while opening the tub of icecream, revealing your favorite flavor. “Dina, thank you so much. That’s my favorite!”. You said smiling at her as you scooped a spoon-full for yourself. “No problem. You know what they say, Icecream does help a lot with negative emotions.” You smirked in agreement and took a bite, moaning at the pleasant taste on your mouth. “So? what happened?” You sighed folding your lips in to a thin line and finally ranting your life away.

“It’s not what Ellie did. It’s what she made me feel. I’m so confused Dina, so fucking confused. I’m constantly trying to push my feelings away for women because I have no guts to face it and admit it to myself. I don’t want to do it anymore. Trust me, I really fucking don’t. But it’s just so hard. I’ve been raised in a household where everything from my childhood changed, I couldn’t buy toys that involved cars because they were too “boyish” or I couldn’t wear what I used to wear because I “looked like a man”. And the people… God, the fucking people. They always tell me that it’s wrong, that it’s against God’s words but proceeds to do much worse things. It’s like they’re only religious when they see something they hate. And the expectations thrown at me that I should be able to marry a man, have 3 children, and live in a white house with plants and flowers with wooden floors near a beach in California. I know it sounds perfect, I know it sounds ideal… But what if I don’t want to live that life with a man? Or live that life at all? What if I want to live that life with a woman? What if I don’t want to live in California near a beach? What if I want to live in a farm, peaceful enough but not far from civilization. What if I don’t want children? What if I don’t like them at all because they are annoying and loud and hinders me from actually living up to the life that I want. Not what they want. I fucking want! Like, seriously? 3 children? Do they think i’m made of metal or something? I know that this sounds ridiculous because I have Xavier, and my parents like him a lot. And I WAS happy with him. But he’s a cheater and a liar… And i’m more happy with-“

“Ellie. You’re more happy with Ellie.” Dina smiled bitterly as she moved her hands from her lap to your face, caressing your soft skin slowly. “Look, you don’t have to feel obligated to fulfill your parents frustrations. It is not your duty and will never be. You don’t have to listen to them especially if it’s not what you want for yourself.” Dina added, studying your face as you seemed so vulnerable. “I know, thank you.” You forced a smile, trying to contain any tears that were threatening to fall from your face. “How does she do it?” you asked. “Do what?” Dina asked tilting her head to the side. “Love women? Without giving a care about what people might say or throw at her?” Dina laughed softly hitting your arm. “Hey! what was that for?” You giggled, taken aback by Dina’s sudden happiness. “It’s just… It’s fuckin’ Ellie. Alright? She doesn’t give a flying fuck. Even back then? Nuh-uh Sis, you’re not getting a reaction from her. And besides, last time I checked, she doesn’t believe in God. But if you’re seriously asking, I don’t know either.” Dina shrugged and laughed at her own ramble.

You grabbed Dina’s hands and intertwined them with yours. “I’m having a really hard time, Dina.” Dina looked at her hands and looked back at you. “I know, Sweetie”. She paused for a moment to think then added to her sentence. “I personally think that you should talk to Ellie about this to clear your mind. She’s the gayest of our group, everything you’re going through right now? She has probably gone through already. But, about Xavier? Honestly he’s no good and i’m not trying to throw you shade but I think you’re just with him ‘cause it pleases your parents.” Dina said tightening her grip on your hand and rolling her eyes from the thought. “I mean, you’re not lying…” You said laughing as you caressed her hand softly.

“But seriously… You really should go talk to her. But if you don’t want to, that’s fine either. You’ll figure it out, Sweetie. Baby steps, alright?” Dina said flashing you her most beautiful smile that have always made you melt in all the right ways.

“I will talk to her.”

you didn’t

(yes the wallpaper is the reader and Ellie)

special tag: @gold-dustwomxn 🫶🏻