#barbie but make it ken coded

[everythingsinred]

controversial opinion of the year is that i dont think barbie was that great bc its message was all over the place and also they didnt realize they had made kens the women in their story so it just seemed bizarrely misogynistic to me

[dykecadence]

was talking to my therapist about the barbie movie and they were like "yeah i was a bit sad about the lack of nonbinary characters until i realized allan could be considered nonbinary" and i havent stopped thinking about it

[mmmmmmmmicrowave]

Watched the Barbie movie today… Allan is me, Ryan Gosling is hot in those bro ken outfits, and all of them are queer. also made for a great reminder of my sexuality (aro/ace spectrum, emotionally attracted to women but aesthetically more to men) also realized my ideal relationship may be more toxic than I initially realized (a friend who is in love with me but I am not in love with them. we go on dates and stuff maybe but they know not to expect me to return romantic affection they give me. tho in return I will be very grateful and love them platonically with all my heart 4ever bc mine <3)

[redbullgirly]

Can you do a Lewis Hamilton smau where she is basically like Barbie? I feel like since Barbie is a fashion icon and so is Lewis, it would be a match made in Heaven. I read your pinned post and tried to make a request based on your rules. Sorry if it isn’t good enough

HI BARBIE! HI KEN! [part 1, LH44 smau]

Lewis Hamilton x reader

Masterlist & Hi Barbie! Hi Ken! [part2, LH44 smau]

Summary: Lewis Hamilton is part-time Formula One driver and full-time fashion icon. And so is his girlfriend, Y/N Y/L/N, who's also known as a real life Barbie.

Warnings: None... but a lot of pink XD. Also this story is set in December 2023, so no broken hearts over Lewis going to Ferrari... actually maybe just a little teaser.

Author's Note: Hi Anon! This request is great and thank you so much for it, it definitely is good enough! :) I had fun writing and creating this, even though at the end it's kind of different than what I firstly intended to do. The original idea was to make Y/N very Barbie coded, but at the end I'd say she's Barbie inspired and I focused more on the fashion icon part of the request. Though there's a sweet storyline about why her nickname is Barbie, so I hope you won't be disappointed! :)

lewishamilton posted on instagram

liked by naomischiff, pierregasly, mercedesamgf1 and 1,089,234 others

tagged: yourusername

lewishamilton A lot happened in 2023 season and there was also a lot of outfits 🤞🏾✨

view all 7,867 comments

user1 MY GOD THIS MAN IS BEAUTIFUL!

yourusername this was definitely one of my favs 💝

liked by the author

lewishamilton What can I say... pink is the color of real men 🫶🏾

yourusername but do i still wear it the best?

lewishamilton Of course ma'am

user2 I love them sm 😭

user3 can we talk about the fact they're the best couple ever?!

user4 so sweet🥰

user5 And the fact she's literally the only person he interacts with in the comments...

user6 You are the best Lewis, can't wait for another season 👏

user7 🔥❤️

mercedesamgf1 Did someone say Barbie and Ken?💘

user8 YES

user9 admin you're so real for this... they literally ARE our barbie and ken 🤭

user10 The only question is who is the Barbie and who's the Ken? xd

user11 lol imagine barbie lewis💀

user12 GOAT ⬆️♥️

carmenmmundt Me and goergerussell63 when?

gourgerussell I don't really think pink is my colour...😬

yourusername don't worry honey, if he won't wear pink w you i will 😘

carmenmmundt Oh I knew why you're my favourite Y/N 😘

georgerussell63 No wait I changed my mind darling!!

carmenmmundt Hmm now I'll have to think about it 🤔

georgerussell63 Y/NNNNN

yourusername 😌😚

user13 i love how he always manages to get y/n into his posts

user14 The power boyfriend Lewis has over me😩😩

user15 RIGHT?!

user16 he's just so... asdgsagfsgd 😫

user17 I literally need this version of him to live!!!

user18 i'm weak for bf lewis🥵

user19 Y/N looks SO GOOD in that coat

user20 I need to know how she does it

user21 fr

user22 The best driver and a fashion icon... damn he's got some talent 🙇‍♂️

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by lewishamilton, alexandrasaintmleux, arthur_leclerc and 321,873 others

tagged: lewishamilton and mercedesamgf1

yourusername great season and now it'll be even better winter break w my love 💋💞

view all 1,092 comments

f1 Our own Barbie🤩

liked by the author

user1 yeeeees

user2 Wait I'm new in formula one, why do we call Lewis Hamilton's gf Babrie??

user3 idk user2 she just gives off the energy 😆

user4 Actually I think Lewis himself once called her Barbie in an interview when there were rumors about them dating and then it just stuck with her 🤷‍♀️

user5 oh really?!! tbh i had idea he ever called he barbie himself... y/n is just iconic xd

user6 IT'S Y/N'S WORLD AND WE'RE JUST LIVING IN IT 🗣🗣

lewishamilton Can't wait to spend the winter break with you ✨

yourusername *mwah*

user7 pls I'm so excited for them!!

user8 the vacation photo dumps are gonna slay🤭

alexandrasaintmleux stoppp you're so pretty!🎀

yourusername nooo you are alex 🥹🫶

user9 they could never make me hate these two just 'cause they're dating the hottest drivers on the grid🫡

user10 The outfit in the second photo? HELLO?!

kellypiquet 🤍

liked by the author

charles_leclerc I see you like the Monaco circuit very much👀

yourusername i see you're stalking my photo dumps very carefully charles leclerc 🤨

charles_leclerc Well I have a feeling we'll see each other more often soon so I have to get to know you better😉

this comment has been deleted by charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc Caught in the crime😂

user11 WHAT WAS THAT CHARLES?!

user12 omg I wasn't the only one to see it? I'm not delusional right?🫣

user13 idk what you saw 'cause i didn't but this interaction is so funny to me XD

user14 mommy- sorry... MOTHER

user15 ❣️❣️

user16 y/n & lew >>>>

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by f1, lewishamilton, maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and 874,012 others

tagged: lewishamilton

yourusername i'm barbie. he's just a ken (and he won some trophy for p3 in the championship... idk where it is) 💖💄

view all 9,237 comments

user1 I live for Lewis leaving the trophy there💀

user2 and the way y/n basically confirmed this by saying she has no idea where it is😭

lewishamilton You're everything. I'm just Ken 🙏🏾✨

yourusername exactly... though you're the best ken ever 💞

sebastianvettel Isn't he more like Allan then?

yourusername ohhh true seb 🤭

user3 YOU WANNA TELL ME THE SEBASTIAN VETTEL SAW BARBIE

yourusername yeah we made him watch it and he cried during gloria's speech 💓

sebastianvettel I'm not ashamed about it.

yourusername and that's why i love u seb 🫶

user4 why aren't all men like sebastian???😩

user5 I love these three with all my heart y'all don't understand

user6 my fav driver watching my fav movie and crying during speech about feminism is my roman empire

user7 AAAHSDFHFGSDHSG😍

f1 If there was a prize for fashion icons, the Hamilton household would definetly win it! 🏆

liked by the author

user8 not admin calling them hamilton household🥹

user9 Lol that would be the only fairly given trophy this year

user10 OMG I just realized that one day Y/N and Lewis WILL be both HAMILTON😭😭

user11 I'll tattoo the date of their wedding on my arm fr

user12 that's real dedication user11 💀

user13 TRUE DEFINITION OF A QUEEN... LOVE YOUUUUUU

kellypiquet Gorgeous darling!💖💖💖

yourusername we both babeee 💖🫶

user14 the IT wags casually supporting each other

user15 I love they're still friends even though their bfs are probably the biggest rivals xd

user16 not the shade about the trophy💀

user17 Waiiittt what happened?

user18 someone who was at the ceremony said lewis gave him the prize 'cause he didn't want it😭

user17 Oh and Y/N wrote in her caption she doesn't know where it is?

user18 exactly😭

user17 Whoops... I love her, she's queen for that

user19 and the fact fia tried to deny these rumors💀

user20 Absolutely love this look 🤍

user21 you and lew are just such a good looking couple

user22 THE DRESS I REPEAT THE DRESS🥰

lewishamilton posted on instagram

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername, scuderiaferrari, valtteribottas and 1,233,490 others

tagged: yourusername and roscoelovescoco

lewishamilton 🇲🇨 with the best company.

view all 15,322 comments

roscoelovescoco Mom's look's so handsome's ☺️☀️

liked by the author and yourusername

lewishamilton Agreed

yourusername awww my boys are too sweet 🥹💕

user1 lewis complimenting his gf not w one but TWO accounts makes my heart melt

liked by yourusername

user2 I want a man like him🤧

user3 WE LOVE ROSCOE CALLING HER MUM

user4 Lewis, Y/N & Roscoe are the best trio ever🥰

user5 parents and their son

user6 literally omg

yourusername wow who's that handsome boy laying on a couch 🥴😻

lewishamilton Handsome you say?😏

yourusername yeah, right next to u 🥰

lewishamilton Oh no, I should've seen that coming😒

roscoelovescoco Thank's mom's I'm handsome's boy's 😊👅

user7 these interactions give me the will to live

user8 I love the Hamilton family🥺

user9 lol y/n calling roscoe handsome xd

user10 The funniest part about this is that Lewis manages Roscoe's profile😭

user11 omg yes user10 not him playing being offended on his main and then being all sweet as roscoe...

user12 Love forever ❤️

user13 Y/N is so beautiful I can't believe my own eyes

user14 the two belong together forever 🙌🫶♾️💫

user15 fr

user16 If they ever break up I'll stop believing on love

mercedesamgf1 Mr. & Mrs. Mercedes

user17 pls give him decent car in 2024 to win another championship🙏

user18 The most iconic couple in history of motorsport 💅

user19 ❤️😍

user20 what's Ferrari doing in the likes?🤨

user21 lol calm down... he's literally lewis hamilton🤣

user22 No but it's weird... they never like other team's things

user23 and after the rumors during monaco gp too 🥸🥸

user24 I think this photo dump caused global warming... like daaammmnnn they're both so fine 🥵

user25 let's just say roscoe isn't the only one calling them mommy and daddy-

user26 lmao

user26 but true🫢

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by lewishamilton, isahernaez, neymarjr, haileybieber and 511,309 others

yourusername barbie has a great day everyday... especially when she gets pink mercedes she wanted 🛍🤍

view all 2,546 comments

lewishamilton Seems like Ken is good for something

liked by the author

yourusername maybeeee

lewishamilton You want pink Ferrari too, don't you?

yourusername ☺️☺️

user1 ohhh to have a man like that

user2 OMG LEWIS PLS GET HER PINK FERRARI

user3 Yeah, Y/N will slay in that car😌

user4 i wanna be barbie too if she gets pink mercedes

user5 but first you'll need to have a ken like lewis hamilton

francisca.cgomes this barbie is so prettyyyy

yourusername love u! 💓

user6 Okay okay I NEED the bikini😫😍

user7 QUEEN

user8 Y/N looking gorgeous like always🫶🏼

user9 gold digger alert!!!!🤮

user10 Girl go away, you clearly know nothing about their relationship xd

user11 jealousy alert!!!

user12 the first pic does something to me 😩

user13 The most beautiful woman ever

user14 Lewis won lottery w her

user15 yes she's literally so pretty and they seem so happy together🥰

user16 fr I don't think I've seen him this happy before

user17 yeah he looks so much calmer and even younger when y/n is with him at event and gps...🥹

user18 Plus the OUTFITS?! I love them sm

user19 Where is Lewis 🙂?

user20 c'mmon he doesn't have to be in every post she makes🙄

user21 stunning as always 💘

user22 SLAYING AS ALWAYS

twitter

Y/N’s interview

photo 1: Y/N: How did you and Lewis meet?

Y/F/N: Oh, you guys'll love the story!

photo 2: Y/N: It was actually in a toy store. Lew was there with his niece and I was there because... [laughs] Let's say I still like to collect dolls and lego, sue me.

photo 3: Y/N: Anyway, Lew's niece saw me, thought I'm a real life Barbie and wanted to say hi. [laughs] It was honestly so sweet that I didn't have the heart to tell her I'm just a normal girl.

photo 4: Y/F/N: So does she still think you're Barbie? [laughs]

Y/N: Yeah, I think so... She calls me Auntie Barbie! [laughs too]

photo 5: Y/N: But back to Lewis - I didn't recognize him and just thought he's really cute. We talked for few minutes, though then I had to leave and didn't have the courage to ask for his number.

photo 6: Y/N: But few days later he followed me on Instagram and I was just like - yes!

Lewis’ interview

Interviewer: Lewis, you recently followed a known influencer and model on Instagram. Is there something going on between the two of you?

Lewis: Are you talking about Barbie? Oh, shoot, sorry... [laughs] I mean Y/N?

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by nina, lewishamilton, emmawatson, alex_albon and 728,196 others

tagged: lewishamilton and roscoelovescoco

yourusername aesthetic life w the best man, cute son and lots of flowers 🌸💖

view all 2,340 comments

roscoelovescoco I got's mom's the's flowers's 😊🌷

liked by the author and lewishamilton

yourusername thx roscoe baby!! 🫶 guess daddy will have to learn from you 😌🤍

user1 ... are we gonna talk about the fact y/n just called lewis daddy?

yourusername ... no please don't, you know what i meant 😭🙈

user2 Too late Y/N, the twitter girlies are going to go nuts about this (me included)

landonorris Awww look at that grumpy little dude 🥺

liked by the author

pierregasly Mate are you calling the seven world time champion grumpy little dude?🤣

user3 lando tf-

user4 This is so funny for no reason😭

user5 Lewis being called grumpy little dude wasn't what I expected from this winter break tbh

landonorris ROSCOE

landonorris I WAS TALKING ABOUT ROSCOE GUYS

user6 💀💀

pierregasly Lol

yourusername why did you even think it was about lewis peirregasly ??🧐

landonorris YEAH MR. TRIPOD TELL US

pierregasly Goodbye...👋

user7 u and lew are so sweet

user8 MOTHER IS MOTHERING 😍

alexandrasaintmleux Shining like a star✨💖

yourusername and you're my sun ☀️💖

user9 I want a man who gives me so many flowers!!!

user10 yeah and they're beautiful and tasteful too

lewishamilton So lucky to have you darling! 🫧🫶🏾

liked by the author

yourusername we're both so lucky lew 💗🫶

user11 and i'm lucky i was born in the same century as you so i can witness this love

user12 I LOVE Y/N & LEWIS🥰

user13 I'll ask again... When is he going to put a ring on it? 💍 C'mon Lewis you obviously love her sm

user14 Your guys love is so special ❤️

user15 if this is the content we'll be getting during winter break, i don't think i want it to end

user16 races are great... but boyfriend material lewis hamilton is better🤤

user17 REAL

THE END

Author's Note: Hi and thank you for reading! I'll be glad for likes, reblogs, comments, follows and any other ways of support. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT PART 2! I really enjoyed this version of Lewis and Y/N... and perhaps I have a lot of pictures that unfortunately didn't make it to the story because picture limit isn't very friendly. Love you and have a great day! :)

[dumbseee]

she’s everything and he’s just ken.

f1 au: in which, well basically the title. carlos and y/n have been dating for a few months, and carlos can’t stop showing off his beautiful girlfriend to the world.

carlos sainz jr x singer!reader.

fc: becky g.

liked by y/n, landonorris, danielricciardo and 2 008 008 others.

carlossainz55: i love seeing you on stage princesa 💙

_

y/n: seeing you in the audience is what gives me strength mi amor

liked by carlossainz55.

danielricciardo: i literally thought that was a y/n fan page

fan1: the fact that he goes to all her concerts even if he’s busy

fan2: i saw him there he was so sweet! and he was wearing blue to match with her :(

fan3: y/n and carlos are so barbie and ken coded

fan4: he took a whole camera with him to take pictures of her omgg

fan5: carlos is literally a book boyfriend, he can’t be real

landonorris: omg are you joining the jpg gang?

alex_albon: @.landonorris please he’s going to call it y/n.jpg

fan6: but why was he in the audience and not backstage?

carlossainz55: @.fan6 to have a better view ;)

liked by y/n, charles_leclerc, lewishamilton and 1 800 087 others.

carlossainz55: congratulations princesa on your first ever american latin music award! (in my opinion you deserved to win all the categories) your voice is my favorite medicine.

_

y/n: omg i love you so much stop

landonorris: you guys are insufferable

carlossainz55: @.landonorris i’m blocking you.

fan1: i want a carlos in my life

fan2: « your voice is my favorite medicine » what if i was sewcidal?

fan3: brb im going to throw myself out of the window

fan4: pls he also went with her at the ceremony 😭

fan5: just get married already

liked by y/n, alex_albon, charles_leclerc and 1 789 097 others.

carlossainz55: i fall in love with you a little bit more everyday.

_

y/n: girls i’m officially head over heels for this man

landonorris: guys i’ve done the maths and out of 3 posts carlos make every week, 2 out of 3 are about y/n

y/n: @.landonorris i can’t believe you can count omg

danielricciardo: this is officially a y/n fanpage

fan1: y/n deserve that level of love tho her last relationship was a disaster so i’m so happy to see her being treated like the princess she is

carlossainz55: @.fan1 queen* but period

fan2: y/n please where did you find him i need a bf like him

liked by carlossainz55, francisca.cgomes, lilymhe and 3 789 821 others.

y/n: i know that we joke a lot about how obsessed this lil guy is, but i thought that it was time for a little carlos appreciation post. first of all, thank you for loving me, we met when i was in a very dark place but you still picked me up from the ground and helped me heal. i’ll always be grateful for that. i love all your little intentions like the flowers you send me every 5th of the month because we met on that date. or when you cook my favorite meal when i’m not in the mood. you’re my bestfriend, my guardian angel, my anchor, my inspiration, my everything. thank you for being you carlos and thank you for loving me the way you do ❤️

_

carlossainz55: you deserve the world and more y/n, the way i’m treating you is the way someone as amazing as you should be treated. i love you more princesa <3

danielricciardo: get a ROOM

landonorris: there is kids on this app!

y/n: @.landonorris you’re past your bedtime lando go to bed.

fan1: i want what they have :(

fan2: these two never fail to make me feel depressed about being single

fan3: i don’t even want a boyfriend but it must be nice to be loved like that

fan4: romeo and juliet who? i only know carlos and y/n

fan5: their relationship is so pure seriously they’re so precious

fan6: they better get married and have kids because if a couple like that ever breakup it’s over for us

[mellowinfluencermiracle]

Baby!Sainz!Sister

This is gonna be some basic information about Baby!Sainz!Sister

Faceclaim: Andrea Londo (I know she's American. However, she gives me Sainz-Vibes)

-XoXo

Name: Amira Isabella Camila Sainz Vázquez de Castro

Birthday: 23. January 2003

Star sign: Aquarius (where are my Aquarius beasties?)

Family: Carlos Sainz Senior (Papá)

Reyes Vázquez de Castro (Mamá)

Bianca Sainz Vázquez (hermana)

Ana Sainz Vázquez (hermana)

Carlos Sainz Vázquez (hermano)

Status: single (is she really???)

Profession: actress and model

Known for: Narcos, The free fall, Valentino representative, Bugatti representative (Carlos isn't really happy about that), Cartier representative

Some basic facts:

-because she is the youngest from 4 children, her whole family is really protective

- she's a really picky eater

-whole grid +wags are in love with her/obsessed with her

-the media always praises her

-if you make her cry, expect Carlos (nad the grid) (and the wags) to be standing on your doorstep

-is allergic to strawberry, still always eats them (and gives the people around her mini heart attacks)

- favourite animals are donkeys, sea otters and pandas

-kind hearted, sweet, soft, naive, funny

-so babygirl coded

-she is Barbie, the rest of the world is Ken

-when nervous, always bites her lips or picks on the skin around ger nails

-speakes : spanish, english and arabic

-she always claims to be able to drive a car

-she can't (but don't worry, she got 20 F1 drivers wrapped around her finger) (and the wags)

-all in all, a walking sweet heart

Faceclaim:

[theplottdump]

a silly lil' simblr CAS challenge;

Send me a Symbol and the name of one of my Sims, and I'll dress them up!

👑 Sims Medieval 🤠 Yeehaw 🤖 Cyberpunk ✨ 50s Astro-Futurism ☄️ Post Apocalyptic 🧝 Their Dungeons and Dragons Character 🏠 Suburban Sitcom 🥵 Something a lil' Spicy 👶 Younger 👴🏻 Older 👻 Spooky Day Costume 🐫 Egyptologist Chic 📸 Red Carpet Glam 🏴‍☠️ Pirates! 🚀 Space Pirates! ☕️ RomCom Love Interest/Protagonist 🖤 Funeral Attire 🏐 Beach! 💎 Secret Agent 😈 Supervillain 🧊 Titanic 🎷 Jazz Age 💖 Barbie/Ken Coded 🔪 Murder Mystery 🪄 Magic Town 🕺 Mamma Mia (here we go again) 🎸 Rock Star 🏈 High School Stereotype 👗 Prom 🔥 Prom but on Fire ⚡️Greek God(ess) 🧛🏼‍♂️ An occult/a different occult 👀 In another simmers style/aesthetic

Feel free to reblog and tag anyone you think might want to play! tagging: @aheathen-conceivably, @antiquatedplumbobs, @simadelics for inspiring me to make this and @shoobysims, @cinamun, and @doctorsimcraft for being some real ones.

[restinslices]

Earth realm boys dating a popstar???? 👀👀👀👀

“Send me ideas guys” *proceeds to hit brain block* I didn’t know if you wanted the Lin Kuei Bros or Syzoth involved but imma add this little rule/guideline(?) so I don’t throw myself down the stairs. So the Earthrealm Boys will be Johnny, Kenshi, Kung Lao, Raiden and Liu Kang. Lin Kuei Bros are Bi-Han, Kuai Liang and Tomas. You can also ask for specific characters but IMMA LET YALL KNOW RIGHT NOW y’all have a limit of FIVE people per post or I’m sleeping in traffic.

Johnny Cage 

If you think Johnny Cage is anything other than excited, you're wrong. 

There's no way he doesn't enjoy dating a pop star. 

He'd tell you how great your names sound together. Johnny Cage the movie star and you the pop star. 

He's probably asked you if your songs can be in his movies. 

I think he'd be extremely supportive. Sometimes a little overbearing. Some people might enjoy him wanting to come to every show, while some people may say “dude, calm down”. 

Your ringtone on his phone is one of your songs for sure 

He also asks for some of your merch for free since ya know, debt 😀

If there's a dance that goes along with it, I can definitely see him learning it and showing you how good (bad) he is 

Please let him be in your music videos. He's on his knees begging 

He has such a huge ego, he'd probably say something like “you can't possibly turn down an A lister like me”

He's so President of your fanclub 

He also posts exclusives of you on his social media 

This may sound selfish but he's hoping your popularity will increase his. When we meet him, his fame is dying out so he's hoping being seen with you will remind people he exists 

Don't get it misconstrued though. He adores you. He just can't help but have these thoughts 

Probably makes you promise to dedicate a song to him too. Realistically he wants an album but he'll take whatever

He's so Ken coded to me and remember, Ken only has a great day if Barbie looks at him. You're his Barbie, regardless of gender 

Kenshi Takahashi 

Considering the fact that he's on the run from the Yakuza, uhhhh he's not the happiest 

Is he proud? Yeah. But dating him puts a huge target on your back. Kenshi can hide. You, as a popstar, can't do that. You're always in the spotlight. And since the Yakuza got connections, they'd find out somehow. 

He'd encourage you to take a break until things cool over. Only problem is he doesn't know when that'd be, and the music industry is competitive. You don't have time to be on a break. People could forget about you. 

Under any other circumstance, he'd be happy for you. Not many people can make it in the music industry. There are tons of people who have big plans but settle for less. 

In any other circumstance he'd listen to your songs, spread the word about your concerts, buy your merch cause he's not in debt, even attend a few concerts. 

Now though, he's uptight and worried. Every concert you have he's worried will be your last. Any fan meet you have he's worried will end in death. 

I honestly think he'd try to actively avoid anything that has to do with your career. It's a constant reminder that you're doing the exact opposite of what he's asking you to and you're putting yourself in danger. This could possibly cause a lot of arguments since he could come off as controlling when in reality he's worried and trying to be cautious 

He's trying to avoid anything to do with your career but every playlist he has has your songs sprinkled throughout them 

Overall he's proud of you but life has him pretty uptight. He'll be his normal self once he restores his clan. 

Kung Lao

This cocky little shit is so hype his partner is famous 

I can see him talking about your music with others like “my partner? They make music. You probably know them. I don't know yours though cause they're unknown. How are y'all paying the bills?”

You tell him not to do that but he continues anyway. Everyone had to know how awesome you were compared to them

Idk why I have this scene in my head of him buying your concert tickets to sell it again but make it more expensive. I legit don't know why but I couldn't ignore it. 

Kung Lao has such a huge ego and your success does not help that. In fact, it makes it worse 

How many people can say they're dating a popstar? Or anyone famous for that matter?

I can see him “helping” with lyrics but the shit he tries to add is dog shit so you do not add it, which he does not get. 

“I have an ear for music” “An ear. Not a talent”

Starts a fanclub and forces Raiden to be involved 

You'd think he's the popstar with how much pride he has when it comes to your career 

Like Kenshi, he has a whole playlist dedicated to you and your songs are sprinkled throughout his other playlists 

If you ask for his honest opinion on a song, he's gonna give you his honest opinion so be prepared. It's like asking a kid if a jacket makes you look fat. 

He doesn't mean to be malicious. He just can't have you releasing bad shit. His approach just isn't the best but it's all with love 

“What do you think about Bubblegum?” “The chorus isn't catchy at all if I'm being honest. You've definitely made better” 

He'd help though by saying what he liked from other songs and it'd steer you in the right direction 

Your career? No. Y'ALL career. UterUS type shit

In all seriousness, he's very happy that out of all the celebrities you could be with, you chose a non celebrity like him.

Raiden

Honestly I don't think anyone would even know you're dating. He's just too shy. 

With Johnny, he's famous and has no shame so that's how people know you're together. The Yakuza is out here so that's how they know about you and Kenshi. Kung Lao is Kung Lao, idk how else to explain it. With Raiden though, I don't think he'd want your fans to know you're dating. 

He's shy and also values privacy and you respect that. Your fans know you're dating someone just not who. 

He probably has a second account he uses to stay up to date with fan discourse 

Likes every edit of you and shows you them. 

“Were you looking these up?” “I… don't know what you could possibly mean”

I don't think he's a big concert person. I don't know why. At least not a huge, no personal space type of concert. So I think he'd do other things to support like using that second account to promote your activities, reposting edits, and buying your stuff. 

Knowing his luck, that second account for privacy and being sneaky would end up getting fans attention. He'd become the main update page everyone goes to. Guess he wasn't sneaky enough 

Probably asks you to sing to him when it's quiet 

Has bought a poster of you and forgot to take it down when you came over 

“Kung Lao put that up” “Mhm, sure”

He has two hats. His normal hat and a hat that has stickers of you on it. Kung Lao or Johnny probably did it to tease him but he kept it anyway 

Dedicate a song to him and watch how flustered he gets. He'd be so honored 

If you had an MV and there was a love interest in it, he wouldn't wanna be jealous but it'd happen. 

Everytime he sees you perform or hears you, he falls deeper in love. Like Kung Lao, he's very happy you picked him to be your love and muse 

Liu Kang

He probably saw this coming based on your life in the past timeline

Knowing how the past timelines were though, your life was probably chaotic and your music career was probably disturbed by the constant threats 

Seeing you just having fun and making music in this timeline would make him extremely happy and proud of himself for creating such a peaceful timeline (at first)

Liu Kang has glowing eyes so there's a chance concerts aren't happening, but I think he'd still stream your music like everyone else 

Would probably try to keep you far away from any disturbances. When he takes his champions to Outworld, he makes up a lie. He doesn't want what you're passionate about disturbed at all 

Supportive in the sense that he's always going to say “yes” to whatever ideas you have. A breakup song? Great idea. A fun party song? Awesome. A fan meet? Sounds fun. 

He genuinely just wants you happy this time and music makes you happy. 

You could talk him into using his fire as some background effect as long as others won't see 

He talks you into doing smaller performances at Madam Bo's. You're spying on Raiden and Kung Lao without even knowing 

Whenever you find out about the shit storm going on, he does not want you involved and will say so. He wants you to focus on your passion and let him take care of it. Whether you do or not is up to you 

After all that though you'd probably end up making music for Johnny's movie about shit that happened. He doesn't disapprove but thinks you can do better than make a soundtrack for Johnny 'Big Mouth’ Cage 

Secret fanboy. Forced to act all serious all the time but he's mumbling your lyrics under his breath, even if it's super cutesy. 

He's just so happy for you. I know I keep repeating it but you probably DIED in the past timeline or some shit so seeing you happy and just living? It shows his efforts for peace paid off. 

I usually say smth after but idk what to say. I wanna start art commissions so bad but half bodies are kicking my ass. I’m finna start tweaking fr

[shortmexicangirl]

fuck it barbie movie but make it ladynoir

now with part 2

sorry but the entire ‘i’m just ken’ song warner bros just released is SO ladynoir coded. she is everything, he’s just ken (as every f/m ship should be). thank you chat noir for being The Most ken of all time.

original reference for those who haven’t seen it:

[dazedstarr]

Here's why I personally believe Taylor Swift is a lesbian 🤍

Many see her as bisexual and that's absolutely fine! She could be but I personally see her as a lesbian (and that's coming from someone who's bi) because from what I've seen of all her male relationships it just seems... off? I can't exactly put my finger on it but the way she acts with Travis for example is more of a "hey look how happy I am with a man! I can be happy with a man!" instead of genuine happiness. If it is genuine then that's absolutely incredible and I'm happy for her but that's just the vibes I get from it all.

While with women it's pure, ecstatic joy and happiness all over. She glowed when she was with Karlie, her smile was brighter, her eyes shined more. You could feel the warmth they gave each other.

There's so many songs to reference about her being with/loving a woman (i.e. dress, ivy, maroon, etc)

I'm sure I don't have to point out all the sapphic lyrics in her songs but I did want to point out in her new album, TTPD a lot of songs are sort of like "I'm straight, see?" while simultaneously having queer undertones or outright not making sense unless they were gay.

Big example is But Daddy I love Him & Guilty as Sin? These two reference religion repercussions of being in a forbidden/not socially accepted relationship which if you're familiar with the queer community and religion trauma you'll know exactly that would be code for. Honestly it isn't even code.

Back to why I don't believe she's bisexual though. Aside from how she acts with men, she often refers to them as "Ken's" (Ken in the Barbie world is often seen as just an accessory to Barbie, not important or relevant as she is) or something that isn't personal. Every time someone's mentioned that's personal and loved it's almost always non gendered pronouns. She's never spoke of a man the way she has a woman.

If you disagree that’s completely okay! We gaylors are in this together so no hate to anyone<3 If you agree and have more to add absolutely feel free to do so!

[superums]

she's everything he's just miles—miles morales x barbie!reader

barbie movie spoilers. fluff mostly. angst in cannon event section. mentions of death. three mentions of "y/n / (name)" in total. you're mostly called spider-barbie. no race mention so anyone can read. spider barbie art (i got inspo from): black ver, braid ver, white ver. 1610 miles! happy national gf day to all who celebrate 🫶🏿💗

color coded text: miles, you/spider-barbie, rio, ken

general headcannons

when miles met you he though you were perfect. covered in pink head to toe—'they're like a doll straight out of the box...' he said breathlessly as he watched your hair seem to perfectly fall back into place despite the pink mask that covered your identity.

'that's because i am one~' you responded and he swore he saw a colorful background of hearts and flowers appear behind you.

you and miles are total opposites, one of you live a a life of imperfection and flaws—from finding out your uncle tried to kill you to be known as the anomaly amongst all the spider people & be called a mistake in-front of his friends just to find out they knew all along—and the other only has perfect days everyday.

his parents love you! at first they were a little iffy, you wore all pink and had a big hair due. "the bigger hair, the more secrets!" rio would say as she tried to persuade him to go after someone else, someone who could speak spanish.

jeff thought you were a gold digger (even though miles had no gold whatsoever), and tried to say you're a bad influence but now he views you like his own daughter (both of them do!).

when it's major holidays (valentines day, christmas, national barbie day ect.) mile likes to get/make you something. last valentines he got you this big spiderman plush that you keep on your bed no matter how much it contrasts with your dream house because he got it for you.

your gifts fall a little flat because none of the kens fashion packs really fit miles and none of your worlds art supplies are actually real so instead you always take him to barbie land for a day just so you two can do fun things together like beach and have a choreographed dance party.

he loves barbie land trust me but he dose get a little jealous. some of the kens there really like you and he feels like he kind of has to try a little more to get your attention because they keep trying to show off.

speaking of ken you have one and he feels a little insecure whenever he's around even though he knows you don't like ken like that. "you're literally made for each other." he says and you can't really debate that because it is true to an extent but you always reassure him that you love only him.

"i may be made for ken but ken isn't made for what i need like you are." you bring both your hands down to his and hold it tight. "please don't think less of yourself because of ken's, they're not who i like, you are."

speaking of jealousy

sometimes he gets jealous of you ngl. he wants to live in a world where you can just float from your roof to your pink cadillac, fight crime and still make time for the mall, the beach and girls night every night.

when he comes to you visibly upset about the things he goes through—his dad, school, his villians, his friends he tells you all about hoe he wishes his world was easy like yours.

you however tell him that his dimension isn't so bad—going to birthday parties, to see children and the elderly smile, watching the smiling faces as spider saves new york again—"your worlds amazing, you just think it's bad because thats all you know." you always tell him as you hug him from behind. miles always seemed to agree as he would quiet down after that "yeah i guess it ain't so bad..."

when you're in his world he practically holds your hand like someone is going to steal him from you. he gets nervous because even though he's spiderman he has no idea what he's gonna do if someone cat calls you or trys to slap your ass. especially in new york like what if they shoot him yk???

when you're with him you always wear things like like this[the green ones]or this [the yellow one] and he always gives you the best compliments, sometimes if you wear a dress he peaks at your butt a little when you walk ahead of him but he tries to be respectful!! his mother would tear him up if she found out he wasn't.

when you found out a way to make that peice of plastic of a phone to actually work you made him open up a instagram for you now u just post pictures and close the not knowing the evil that lurks (misogynists)

his nicknames for you are bonita and carriño (im a miles wouldn't say that (mamas) believer😼) and sometimes he calls you bella but he reserves it for when you take his breath away (when ever u invite him to barbie land galas every other week)

your terms are a little outdated because of the time period you were 'made' in but you call him things like darling, sugar and dear but you've started adding sweetheart, baby and honey to your selection after he joked that you sound like a grandma one time☹️

your cannon event

entering your second/third year of being spider-barbie things got difficult in barbie world. [after the events of the barbie movie] you suddenly got villains—two deranged doctors, and even your own ken. not only did they seem to come back just to get revenge but they also get more and more difficult to defeat.

it started with a glitter shortage and now you've had to fight your ken who's become a venom variant. your ken was jealous that you were spider-barbie while he was just a variant of news reporter ken and he tried to become spiderman himself by infecting himself with some mysterious substance.

now the two of you are fighting in a burning building.

"ken stop this isn't you!" you dodge his heavy punches. it was getting super hot and the building was about to collapse. the both of you are surrounded the flames. "ken please stop this.." you tried to reason with him but a strong inky black hand wrapped around your throat.

your pink lenses were broken—you were feeling light headed now snd the fire was making it worse. "please..." a tear rolled from your face to venoms as you started to see stars surround your vision. you tried to kick your feet to get him to stop it but it only met with the hard, unmoving mass of venom.

one by one the ceiling started to fall in and venom could only laugh as he saw you struggling. venoms long tongue came out of his mouth and his spikey teeth started to retract as he inched closer to your head. he was going to eat you.

by a miracle a burning beam narrowly missed you and fell on him. gasping as you fell on your back narrowly missing the fire you turned to the inky black figure. "ken!?" limping to him you saw your other half struggling under the beam. "(name)....?"

"i'll save you!" you put your webs on the burning beam you tried your best to move it. you were too weak. crying you put your other web on it, struggling to move the object.

"(name), go on without me..." kens voice wavered as he searched for your hidden eyes. the inky black substance of venom seemed to slip off of him like water. "but i need you!" you reached for kens face only as more support beams fell from the ceiling.

hearing footsteps you turned around, there was a cop in the doorway if the wear-house, holding the black pistol to you, you had no choice but to leave, no one knows you're spider-barbie.

you don't know this but your universe and everyone else's is heavily connected through the toy line (like in the movie) so your line of toys was very effected by your cannon event

theres mattel branded action figures when you're crying holding kens picture, theres toys where you're called 'depressed spider-barbie' and they're even selling play-sets where your dream house is in disarray

when miles found out he had to call you but they went unanswered. you've been m.i.a for almost three days, you haven't answered any of the texts messages or calls that your friends sent you and they knew someone had to reach you because the your toy products we're getting sadder by the hour.

crying into the spider-man plush that miles had given you. hugging yourself you didn't notice miles come through the portal—"(name) are you okay?" he put his hand on your waist as he sat on the edge of your bed. he knew you weren't.

you were wearing a shirt took from him and you hair and makeup weren't even done. "miles i.." you looked into his eyes, his brown irises full of worry. he brought his hand to your face as a way to soothe you but he's not good at this like he wants to be.

"it's nothing." you said as you turned your head to wipe the tears off your face. "please don't act like that bonita.." you knew you shouldn't do this to him—but you aren't made for this and neither is he. "i had my event today." was all you could muster before you cried into him. "i know i know..." he said as he rubbed your back.

he tries his best to get you away from barbie land for a bit. gwen, hobie and pavitr handle the crime while you recover.

he brought you to his home and had to beg his parents to lets you sleep in his room, in him bed with him, and at first rio almost hit the back of his head with such a ridiculous question

but then she saw how broken you looked. "jeff this is serious their makeup and hair aren't done.." they caved but he had to keep the door open which he had no problem with.

he distracts you with playing video games, or going out to festivals and carnivals just to clear your head.

it took a week for you to feel better enough to go back to barbie land and when you left your toys changed to something different.

"spider-barbie has a new boyfriend!" news articles were everywhere—imagine miles' surprise when he saw him in his spiderman suit carrying you through barbie land. they named him ken carson and made him dominican but he'll take it.

[spencerdaze]

'Barbie' is a transgender masterpiece

I'm going to go away from my usual clown related content for this post, but i've watched Barbie twice now, and aside from the movie painting a beautiful portrait about men's rol in feminism as well as reivindicating being a mother is ok, the movie has proven to be a transgender masterpiece in many ways, just like Barbie as a figure! Buckle up because this is going to be a long, long post.

For startes, fashion dolls, and specifically Barbie as the most important of them, has been a queer icon more than a feminist icon. Feminism has distanced itself from Barbie as a figure because her representation of womanhood was faulty (something i disagree on, since Barbie was a powerful successful woman who didn't let that make her not be interested in fashion and other feminine hobbies and interests!!), but the queer community has, i feel, a different appreciation for Barbie as a character and doll. Gay men, drag queens and transfemme folks mostly share memories of playing with Barbie and dreaming, via the doll, about the lifes we could have as adults. Barbie was a very important role for many drag queens who loved the glamour and fashion, it helped gay men relate to female friends who where more friendly and safe (usually although not always) than other boys, and it helped us trans women and femme enby folks to distance ourselves from the masculinity society tried to force on us. Barbie has also proven to be an icon for lesbians since, i mean, nobody ever bought a Ken doll, and even for some trans men who used Barbie dolls transitioned into boy dolls to enact heteroromantic fantasies! The union between Barbie and feminism is a faulty one, and i can't blame the feminist movement for it, but the relationship between Barbie and the queer community is very real and strong. It's no surprise that many trans women and drag queens use the term 'doll' to refer to themselves, or that Ken has always been a sort of feminine and, let's be honest, queer man.

So how is the new Greta Gerwig Barbie movie transgender ? Well, Barbie herself, as a protagonist, is such a real transfemme experience! Barbie moves from Barbieland to the real world, learning what it really is to be a woman in the real life world of California, much like many trans women have to look at the world around them to learn and internalize their new lifes at the beginning of their transitions. Barbie also says, explicitly, that she doesn't have a vagina, or genitals, and by the end of the movie she decides to turn into a human, and goes to her gynecologist, which implies she went from not having a vagina to having one. Isn't this the most trans thing ever ?? Of course there are some problematic implications in this reading of the movie, because Barbie turns into 'a real woman' and gets a vagina, which is not what being a real woman is, but i also think this is a very powerful messaging. Consider also some minor details like the fact the color palette used for Barbie is one with blue and white added to her always bright Barbie Pink, which isn't odd since Barbie has used this combo before, but it cannot be a coincidence. Barbie going from a hyperfeminine woman to a more laidback woman is also very parallel to a lot of trans women's experiences, since many of us behave and are hyperfeminine from an early stage in our transitions because of dysphoria but then we become more comfortable in ourselves and realize that we don't own anyone hyperfemininity (even though i am, still, a hyperfeminine woman, but it's more in my own terms of femininity!!) Of course, we also have Hari Neff, a trans actress, as a Barbie in Barbieland, which is amazing, and in one scene we see that, in the Mattel headquarters, there's a small transgender sign in the wall, which is subtle, but still there.

This movie has so many queer undertones and experiences, showing Ken dolls that were queer coded in the market like Magic Ring Ken and also proving how patriarchal relationships between men are very homoerotic in a way, which is shown in how Ken interacts with other Kens and viceversa. Weird Barbie is also a very much queer character, being played by a lesbian actress, and i feel like the movie is so campy and has such an aesthetic that reminds us of queer movies like But I'm a Cheerleader. We also have to aknowledge the references to big queer favourite and queer films like Matrix and Wizard of Oz. I think this reading of the movie is definetly plausible and i hope to hear some of your thoughts!

[gerardpilled]

Gerard Way will make an appearance in Greta Gerwig’s “Barbie” as Ken from this femdom coded apron artwork

[thecanadianweeb]

Barbie Movie Review (TW: Spoilers!)

So I saw the barbie movie yesterday with my GF and her mother too.

Since people were wearing pink to the movie, i wore my pink Y2K tracksuit that my aunt got at a flea market for me. My gf wore a pink dress with a leather jacket. My tracksuit totally fit the vibe! Anyways my theater was full of gays, including us.

So the movie starts really wholesome, with feminism as it's motto... until barbie starts having an existential crisis. Then she goes to the weird barbie, the black sheep of barbieland. The weird barbie tells her that whoever is playing with her at the moment is causing the crisis. Then she goes to the real world and ken is the tag-along (man) child.

In the real world, barbie meets Barbra Handler while sitting on a bench, while trying to regain memories of who was playing with her.

she finds out that it was a high-schooler named Sasha. she goes up to find her, while ken starts getting into conservative politics.

Eventually, Mattel themselves finds out that barbie has escaped her world and ended up in the human realm. they then send out agents to get her because it could have serious consequences on both worlds.

Barbie soon finds Sasha, but then gets roasted by her because she hates barbies due to unrealistic (body) standards. Barbie sits down on the curb of the school and cries until Mattel's agents find her. Barbie is kinda happy to see them because she's always wanted to see what some of her creators have done. Meanwhile, Gloria, Sasha's mom is picking her up when she sees barbie getting picked up by Mattel but is too late.

When barbie is at Mattel headquarters, she explores the building and goes to the CEO's office. They then put her in a box that nearly kidnaps her, so she makes a run for it while the agents chase after her! Meanwhile, Ken is going back to barbieland with his new political agenda.

While running away from the Agents, Barbie runs into Ruth Handler, The mother/creator of Barbie itself! She tells barbie a secret escape method and it works! Barbie then meets Gloria and her daughter. They stare for a bit with a lot of queer-coded Sapphic tension. Then barbie flops into the car due to the agents catching up. Which cues a car chase scene!

in this car chase scene, Gloria and barbie talk about their problems and find out that SHE's the one that's messing with her life. Gloria also talks about her male partner is all by himself, practicing his spanish on duolingo. eventually they get away from the agents safely, and barbie takes the two newfound friends back to barbieland, which has now been turned into kendom. Barbie is obviously unhappy, because her friends have been turned into sex slaves with maid outfits! (Weird, right?) The constitution was also about to be changed too!

Barbie then becomes incredibly depressed and goes to the only refuge left: Weird Barbie's house! the other barbies which weren't brainwashed were staying there for safety as well. Then there's a narration stating that Margot Robbie probably wasn't the best actress for this scene, because ya know.

The Mattel agents realize that changes have aleady been made to both worlds and send the agents into barbieland to stop it as well!

Then there's an actual commercial for a depressed barbie doll, which is super funny. but also kinda sad.

Gloria and Sasha decide to go back to the real world, but ken has issued the construction of a Donald Trump-esque wall! And what's worse, Someone hitched a ride on the pair's Car! Turns out that it was just Allan, and he's actually a nice guy trying to escape the conservative government. Then out of nowhere, He literally jumps out and punches the Construction workers, serving as a distraction!

Gloria and Sasha have an "Oh Sh*t, we gotta help her" moment and go back to help save Barbieland! they end up finding her in the strange Barbie's house. And Gloria gives an inspiring speech about life and it's hardships. She's also wearing a shirt with the Lesbian flag colors on it!

Eventually, the refugee barbies and Gloria come up with a plan to undo the ken Regime (that's what I'm gonna call it) and bring order back.

this plan includes cheating on all of the other ken dolls and making them fight against each other, lord of the flies style.

it ends up working and everything is back to normal. when the kens come back from a homoerotic lord of the flies battle, they see that their changes have been undone and are upset. Ken tries to seduce barbie, but she ignores it bc they are both gay in denial or possibly bi/aro, etc. the girls then tell the kens that they are enough if they stop being stupid and actually be supportive for once.

Then the agents meet up and talk to barbie saying that's she's the hero and deserves a happy ending with ken. Barbie disagrees, saying that she doesn't know who or what she wants to be. Then Ruth comes back and tell her about how she was her actual mother and it's up to her to decide her destiny in an inspiring speech. Barbie then decides to stay in the real world and it's unclear if the portal was left closed or open. Same thing with ken and barbie being gay. All it shows in the end is barbie asking if she's celibate, which is a recurring joke in the film.

I think since it has an ambiguous ending, barbie might actually be in a poly relationship with Gloria and her partner.

Anyways, TLDR, Barbie has an existential crisis, gains a girlfriend (Both ways ig) and discovers herself.

If you are a Parent, don't bring your children to this movie unless they can handle mature topics or you are willing to explain stuff. it is rated PG-13 in my country, however. Other than that, A great movie! (unless you have mommy issues)

[hanbindans]

BARBIE OR OPPENHEIMER 🎤🎤

there's 3 categories of people and those are barbie, oppenheimer, and barbenheimer a/n: my friend told me this is a thing so here's my 2 cents on which movie I think they would see. as always this is satire don't take it too seriously and if you disagree please discuss with me in the comments/reblogs/my asks because I think this type of discourse is so fun! <3

jiwoong

oh he is the barbenheimer-est. would do a whole ass film analysis as he's watching oppenheimer and then he will head empty, feel all the feels at the barbie movie. actually he's probably THE best person to do the barbenheimer with.

hao

barbiebarbiebarbie like is this even up for debate?? there's a 100% chance he is going to be crying in the back of the theatre but even when he walks out of the movie theatre with red, puffy eyes he will never admit to crying.

hanbin

I feel like he would try to do a barbenheimer but would get bored and walk out of oppenheimer and just go straight to the barbie movie instead 💀 he is also a crier but unlike hao he will admit to it.

matthew

oppanheimer.

tayray

hmm... for me he's a perfect 50/50 split, it would depend on the day kind of? but he's still not a barbenheimer because I don't think this man has the patience to do both in a row (😭) like he is both barbie and oppenheimer but not barbenheimer if that makes sense??

ricky

ah yes, the man who is oppenheimer by day and barbie by night.... actually I'm so inclined to say barbie because duh he's lovelicky but do we really think he would see the barbie movie?? ....... I say oppenheimer but for the record he is still barbie coded.

gyubin

LITERALLY KEN of course barbie. he is also crying in the back of the theatre with hao but will not only deny crying- will literally deny going to see it like you saw him at the cinema in a pink polo shirt? no you didn't <3

gunwook

so fucking oppenheimer but he will go into that theatre and watch it with full geopolitical context and analyse the hell out of it and complain about all the things the movie got wrong when he walks out (him and jiwoong in the back of oppenheimer with notepads)

[bagelboys-withcreamcheese]

Modern Curious Couple Incorrect Quotes

So many kids, so many migraines

~

Hosea: You can’t have “hoes in different area codes” if you don’t pass geography, John.

—

Dutch: I’m one inconvenience away from becoming like my father.

John: ..dead?

Dutch:

—

Arthur, aiming a big water gun at John: Say sayonara, Marston.

John, frantically trying to get away: I DON’T SPEAK ITALIAN!

—

Arthur: How in the hell do you get “Dick” from “Richard”?

John: You ask him nicely

—

Dutch, deepening his voice to seem more intimidating: I will not stand for this behavior!

Tilly, mocking him: I will not stand for this behavior!

John: Okay, Batman.

Arthur: You sound like you have bronchitis.

—

Dutch: Your generation is so ungrateful!

Tilly: Wow! That sentence was so concise considering your senility!

—

John: We’ve all heard “finger-licking good,” but consider the opposite: toe-sucking evil.

Arthur: I had a full body reaction to that and not the good kind.

Hosea: What would be the good kind?

Arthur: That would be an orgasm, Hosea. Though, with Dutch as your partner, your unfamiliarity with the concept is of no surprise to me.

—

John: I wouldn’t put it in those words exactly.

Hosea: Why not?

John: Because I don't know what they mean.

—

Tilly, in a high voice, holding Barbie: Hey, Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!

Mary-Beth, in a deep voice, holding Ken: Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids.

Arthur: What the fuck are you guys doing?

Tilly: Playing systemic oppression!

—

John: How do you say “I love men” in Spanish?

Javier: Me encantan los hombres

John: You’re so gay

Javier: And you’re not? Stop projecting.

—

Dutch: if I killed someone, would you turn me in?

Hosea: No, but I’d use it against you all the time.

Hosea: Like, “are you going to do the dishes or do I need to make a phone call?”

—

Mary Linton: What do you people even get out of stealing?

John: What I stole? What kind of dumb question is that?