#bc he was too powerful? or was he actually getting in the way of nightmares evil plans 😈😈

[tennesseeroulette]

We NEED a time travel esque kirby game

[ahundredtimesover]

I Want You to Stay (07) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut

Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, prior incidence of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts and business/property devt talk that’s probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; eventual explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)

Chapter Word count: 15.4k

Series Masterlist

Status: Ongoing

Series summary: Working for Jungkook isn’t the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesn’t smile, he doesn’t appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. You’ve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.

Playlist 🎶: on the way home

A/N: One of my fave chapters! I hope you like this one! And just a heads up that intervals between posting days will be longer as the chapters get longer, too. And bc u know, life... HAHA but again, thank you so much for all the love for this like??? HOW. PLS you've all been so nice so thank you! 🥰 Also… JK in that SNTY suit.

And as always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight  🥰

PS. If I can’t tag you, pls fix your settings!

Mr. Ri loads the luggages in the trunk and you double check that all bags - which you helped pack yesterday - are complete. You enter the car right after and head to the airport where Jungkook will fly to Singapore for a few meetings and to attend Seokjin’s alcohol launch party. 

It’s been over a month since the Arts Center event and so much has happened since then. Jungkook went to Jeju to meet an artist and then to Japan over a weekend to meet another two. He’s been on calls with a few more with plans to meet in their country of residence in the next months, and he’s gone around different local towns to meet with craftspeople for souvenirs and future exhibitions. He’s also touched base with various national and international Korean arts and culture organizations for promotion and joint projects. The event opened doors for a new network that he hoped for. There are now proposals for other collaborations and side engagements that’s doing a lot for the company’s brand and expansion. 

To say that Jungkook and the team have been busy is an understatement. You went back to work after those few days of recovering with everyone overwhelmed by all the things they had to do but like you expected, you all managed and got things organized. There are still multiple things to handle all at once, but everyone’s just been on top of everything and showing how competent you all are as individuals and as a team.

Within that period, Jungkook has stopped by the team’s office and the pantry more times than those first months. He also managed to laugh at Do-hyun’s unfiltered remarks a few times and even slipped his own that got the team giggling. He’s seemed a lot more relaxed and so has the team. Lunch meetings have been regular given all the work you all have to do. Yohan and Chin-sun even say that they’ve gotten to know Jungkook a little better through their visits to the Arts Center. And while they do think he’s still a bit detached and catch him in his own world sometimes, he’s a lot more engaged and is actually way smarter than they’d initially thought. 

Jungkook checks his phone and sighs, prompting you to turn to him.

“Seokjin says the party is an intimate event but there’s gonna be over two-fifty guests so I don’t know about that,” he shakes his head, showing you the restaurant bar where his friend will be launching his alcohol brand. “For some reason, he expects me and Tae to entertain guests on his behalf.”

This was another development you hadn’t expected. Since that morning when Jungkook sent you food when you were unwell, your relationship changed. It’s still professional but there’s more openness now, as if that prompted both of you to be comfortable around each other. 

There’s more trust and honesty, too - he lets you make decisions, lets you handle the team when he’s away, and asks you for your unfiltered opinion. You feel like all the time you spend together has allowed you to learn how he sees and understands things; you even finish his sentences sometimes. 

He’s also loosened up a bit and allows himself to laugh and smile more. They’re still rare occurrences but you never point them out, not wanting him to feel awkward and then stop. They often catch you off guard so you haven’t been able to fully appreciate them but at least he feels comfortable around you, enough to even talk about non-work stuff and things that fill his mind, like random questions or small concerns. 

You’re unsure if he notices how uninhibited he’s become but you don’t point it out either. He still has his moments of living in his head, his faraway thoughts rendering him quiet and observant, and his perfectionist attitude means he’s still critical sometimes. But he doesn’t take anything out on you - not his frustrations nor his fears. He’d usually keep to himself and talk to you once he’s cooled down and you’d take that any day, so long as you keep your sanity and are able to do your tasks as instructed.

In return, you let yourself be the same. You’ve fully restored your confidence and that’s allowed you to show just how capable you are. You’ve been more vocal with your thoughts, too, and don’t take it personally when he doesn’t agree. You smile a lot more, joke with him even, and have been more generous with words of encouragement and affirmation. They come more naturally than you expected, and you appreciate that he doesn’t turn you away whenever it happens.

He’s actually okay to be around when he’s not being grumpy or difficult. You suppose that the situations he was put in - and how you responded with patience and understanding - allowed him to see that you’re truly on his side and that let him put his guard down a little. You’re past trying to please him for the sake of making your job bearable; there’s actual joy in it now, and while the search for who you are outside of all this continues to ring in your head, you think that sticking around for now isn’t so bad either.

“Perhaps Seokjin has seen how good you are with entertaining guests now and deems you worthy of being an extension of him,” you respond to Jungkook’s earlier musings. “And he wouldn’t be wrong. You’ve become really good at it.”

“You know, I think you oversell me sometimes,” he chuckles. 

“Hmm, I think I don’t,” you counter. “If I may say so, Mr. Jeon, it's just that the bar was pretty low so the improvements are quite striking.”

“Fair enough,” he laughs, not taking offense.

“You can still do better at charming people. Maybe you can learn a thing or two from Seokjin and Taehyung,” you push.

“Those two flirt, they don’t charm,” he playfully rolls his eyes.

“Well, I completely disagree, sir. I mean, I’ve seen it firsthand. And I’m not one who’s easily charmed.”

“Fine, I’ll see what I can pick from them, then,” he concedes.

“Kidding aside, I think you’ll be fine, Mr. Jeon. Plus, it’s unrelated to work so there’s no need to impress anyone,” you state. 

“True,” he hums. “But just thinking about these next few days is already making me tired. Tae rented a yacht for tonight. We have Seokjin’s launch tomorrow, and to celebrate, he’s throwing another party the day after.”

“Hmm, must be that you’re getting old,” you tease, earning you a hum in agreement. “But you’re used to that though, right? They always said that was your life back in Singapore.”

“It was. I had less responsibilities and people to manage but back then, everything seemed too much,” he shares. “I took the weekends seriously and really just did whatever I wanted. I haven’t done much of that these past weeks because I’ve been so tired and I feel like I’m under the microscope when I’m here. So yeah, I’ll probably just take advantage of being back there and just enjoy it.”

“As you should,” you say. “You’ve worked hard and you deserve to spend your weekend however you wish. Just, uh…”

“What?”

“Probably give Lucas a heads-up in case a half-naked woman greets him in the kitchen on Monday morning.”

The silence is deafening and you think you’ve crossed a line with this one. You turn towards him and he looks stunned at your unfiltered remark.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Jeon,” you bow in apology. “That was too personal.”

“It’s okay,” he responds after a beat of silence. “I guess I deserve that. I mean, I never apologized for the morning when you experienced exactly that. And for when you found that underwear on the floor, which I forgot to clean up. So, uh. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, too. I got over it,” you assure him. “And if anything, I’m pretty sure she left that on purpose so she’ll have a reason to come back.”

“That’s exactly it,” he groans. “She saw me again and wanted to go to my apartment so she could get it. I told her I threw it away.”

“How brutal,” you tease again.

“Not my finest moment but yeah, I’m sorry to put you in that position. Must’ve been tough seeing proof of all the washroom gossip.”

“You know about those?” You gasp. 

“I’ve heard about them,” he sighs. “Mr. Ri’s got eyes and ears in the office.”

“It’s hard to defend so I just don’t try,” the older man shakes his head. “Not like you deny it anyway.”

“Not like I really care,” Jungkook shrugs. “But even then, I guess it wasn’t the best start for us,” he tells you.

“Perhaps not, but I’m not one to judge, Mr. Jeon. That’s all in the past now, and that feels like a lifetime ago.”

“It does,” he hums. 

It’s during these casual exchanges when you get to see a bit more of Jungkook as the person that he is, beyond the perfectionist executive who still harbors fears and worries about his new role. He’s still a human being who finds ways to deal with the stresses of life, someone who needs time to step away from his burdensome responsibilities, someone who seeks intimacy and connection and finds ways to attain them in his own ways. The doubts and worries are still there, but the foundation has stabled a bit. Somehow you think that you’ve created a space safe enough for him to talk about them, to apologize, and to try to be better. You hope he gets to create that for himself, too, and if that’s what you’ll leave him with by the time you decide to step away from this job, you think you’d be satisfied. 

Silence engulfs you both and like he often is after being vulnerable with you, he keeps to himself once again. You wait a while before running through his meetings for today and next week and inform him of what the team will be working on while he’s away. Jungkook responds with a few last-minute instructions, especially about the tasks he needs done in time for your team meeting on Monday. You’re both back to professional talk and you don’t really mind; there’s something about being honest and open that could be a bit disarming.

The car stops and Mr. Ri exits to retrieve the luggage from the trunk. Jungkook, in his navy blue suit, gathers his things and says goodbye. Before he can close the door, you call out his name.

“Yeah?” He asks, his one hand carrying his bag and the other, on the roof of the car as he bends to look at you.

“Happy birthday,” you say. “I know you think it’s just an ordinary day but I hope you celebrate well.”

“Thank you,” he says after a few seconds, basking in the softness of your smile for the short moment that he can.

Jungkook steps away then closes the door. He heads to the airport lounge before taking the 6-hour flight to Singapore, spending it on reviewing reports and design proposals. He goes straight to the office when he lands, settling down in his room where he responds to emails. He munches on some dumplings for lunch, thinking he’s missed the ones from the restaurant across the street, but then Lucas enters and sets down a bowl of seaweed soup.

“Ms. Cho asked me to get this for you, Mr. Jeon.”

Jungkook is caught off guard but manages to dismiss Lucas and tastes the dish. It’s nothing like his mother’s, but then again, he hasn’t had it in years. When Jungkook moved here, there were no celebrations apart from getting drunk at a club, which is also why he’d stopped thinking of his birthday as anything special. There were no traditional meals or well wishes or birthday cakes.

He’s here again. There’s that yacht party tonight but it won’t feel like a celebration. Somehow, with this bowl of soup, this does. You’re a thousand miles away but even then, he still feels your presence. Even then, he feels more cared for than he has these past several years combined.

Jungkook wakes up the next morning with a splitting headache. His neck feels a bit strained, given that he’d slept in an awkward position wearing his clothes from last night. He also barely remembers much. One minute he was drinking with a woman around his arm and the next he’s… here. 

He shifts and lays flat on his back, groaning as last night’s happenings manifest in the soreness of his entire body. The yacht was fancy, as he’d expected from his best friends. There was overflowing food and drinks, the music was great, and the guests were honestly too many for his liking. There were familiar faces and new ones, but he mostly stuck around with those he knew. What he also remembers is not being able to taste his cake. He’s definitely calling Seokjin to complain.

Suddenly hit with the thought of not knowing how he’d gotten home last night - or with whom - Jungkook sits up and groans once more, the incoming call adding to the ringing sound in his head.

“Mr. Jeon,” Lucas answers on the other end. “How are you feeling today?”

“Terrible,” Jungkook says, now finding the strength to get off the bed. “Did you take me home?”

“Yes, sir. You wanted to leave so Mr. Ri and I took you to your penthouse,” Lucas answers. “Your valuables are on the table.”

Jungkook sighs, knowing it was one of those nights. Removing his clothes, he sees the fresh marks on his chest. Wanting to prepare himself before finding some stranger in the other room, he asks his assistant if he’d brought someone home with him.

“No, sir. It was just you. She, uh, she asked to come but you told her you were too tired so she stayed behind.”

“Oh, good,” Jungkook exhales in relief, not wanting to deal with any of that this morning, which is one reason why he always asks them to leave. “How long do I have until I have to get ready for tonight?”

“About five hours,” the younger man replies. “You have a scheduled dinner with your friends at 5:30 and then the event at 8. I’ll be there before that to help you get ready.”

“Alright, thanks. I’ll just workout to deal with this hangover.”

“Medicines are in the cupboard, sir. Please just let me know if there’s anything more you need.”

“I will.”

Jungkook hangs up and presses on his temples as if that’ll do anything. He retrieves the medicine as advised and thinks of something else he needs - a cup of lemon ginger tea. Ever since you’d prepared one for him that one morning, he’s been having it after every night out. He calls the butler to have it prepared for him, given that he doesn’t have the energy to do so himself. 

It arrives, and coupled with the aspirin, he’s starting to somehow feel better. He knows that heading to the gym will do the trick, as it always does, but it still makes him think that he shouldn’t have drank as much as he did last night. 

For someone who’s not particularly fond of people, even Jungkook sometimes wonders why he goes out and parties as much as he does. 

He wasn’t always like this though. His weekends used to be spent on food trips and travels, but after the breakup with Chaerin, those days became free, and he’d stay out late so he could sleep the rest of the next day. The women were to make up for the loneliness; the alcohol was to forget why he needed them in the first place. He hates loud and unnecessary sounds, but the music and the chatter started to become white noise for him; they’d become a companion to help deal with the noise in his own head, or the lack of it. 

Years later, the remaining thoughts in his mind were just all about work, and he’d revert to the same habit for relief - the women became his thrill; the alcohol was so he wouldn’t remember them. 

And it works. The ecstasy lasts only through the night. It’s fleeting as his desire for them is. He doesn’t recall names, just that they made him feel good and that they felt the same; they often try to hook up with him again after all, seeking him in the clubs they know he frequents. But he rarely entertains them; a second time leads to a third, and he can’t be assured that they won’t ask the same tiring questions he hates hearing - why doesn’t he have a girlfriend? Why doesn’t he want to commit to anyone? Does he see himself settling down and having a family? What’ll make him want that?

It’s happened a few times, during the rare instances that there’s a lull in between and they take advantage of his brief period of vulnerability to make him open up. He never does, and it’s not because he thinks it’s a weakness to do so, but he just never really let the moment linger to find out. 

After a light meal, Jungkook heads to the gym and spends three hours expending his energy so he could get it back. 

This is his other means of dealing with his stress. Working out makes him focus on something else and it helps in releasing all his anger and frustration. As he stares at his bare body in the mirror right after - the marks from last night still visible - he scoffs at himself. 

He’s so stereotypical, it makes him sick. He’s allowed himself to let his life revolve around the shallow and fleeting sensations of pleasure to counter the permanence and inevitability of his job. This is his world and he made it this way. And while he drowns in the nothingness inside the walls that he created, he still thinks it’s better than being outside; somehow he thinks it’s lonelier and more burdensome out there. At least in here, he’s all he has to deal with; he’s all he can disappoint.

But there are still moments when he wonders what it could be like if he just dared to live differently. Like when he watches Seokjin animatedly explain the history and creation process of Korean traditional alcohol during the product launch that evening and how his passion is moving and infectious. Or when he observes how Taehyung freely moves around the club and makes connections with others as deep as his smile. 

Jungkook thinks about all this as he glances at the woman next to him later that night, bare under the covers like he is, her body curled into a cocoon as she takes a break. 

She’d caught his eye earlier because she wasn’t trying to get his attention like the others were. She spoke less and screamed more, let him do what he wanted but touched him softly as she pleased.

“You’re a good lover. Why do you waste yourself with something temporary like me?” She’d asked. 

It left him speechless and he shrugged - a change from his usual dismissal - but there’s really nothing to say. 

Why does he? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t want to. 

But it’s at this moment that he tries to imagine what it would be like if it were the same face he saw next to him every morning, if it were the same hand he held everyday, if it were the same warm body he curled into every night. His mind wanders too far, into the depths of a place it can’t go to, beyond boundaries he can’t cross, and the sight is both terrifying and calming. 

It’s safer where he is.

So when she wakes up from a short nap, she looks up at him, her soft eyes wishing for something she knows she shouldn’t.

“You should go,” he says, the softest he’s ever uttered the words. 

“Okay,” she whispers in submission. 

She gets up from the bed, finds her stray clothes on the floor, and puts them on. Jungkook follows her to the door, a first for him. Maybe it’s her gentleness, or the unspoken understanding between them, or maybe because she doesn’t ask for more even if she seems to want to. 

But though he contemplates pulling her back to try to feel what that’s like - seeing her in the morning, holding her hand, curling into her embrace - he doesn’t. He knows even that desire would end; it’s fleeting just as everything around him is.  

He holds open the door. She turns around with a smile.

“I hope someday you find someone you’ll ask to stay,” she says, surprising him again. “I’m sure they would.”

You walk around the store in awe of the luscious plants displayed on the shelves, your eyes as bright as the lights that shine over them. There are so many to choose from, and though you have an idea of what you want to have, it’s tough deciding which ones to get right now. The money tree is a must, so is the Chinese evergreen. But do you go for the orchid or the peace lily? Can you keep up with a spider plant? How many of the asparagus ferns should you get?

Your eyes flit from one plant to the next, eventually deciding on getting everything on your list then placing them on the cart for payment. 

Jimin chuckles next to you. “Since when were you a plant mom?”

“Since she got that aloe vera from Yoongi and she was convinced that she has a green thumb after it didn’t die,” Soomin deadpans next to you as you frown at her sarcasm. “That’s also after my weekly reminders to water the plant because ‘no care’ doesn’t actually mean it’s going to survive on its own.”

“Oh, shush,” you scoff at her. “You told me I was doing a good job.”

“You’d send a photo every few days, hun,” she laughs. “What else was I supposed to say?”

“True. I needed the encouragement,” you shrug, paying for your haul. “But also, I’m a plant newbie. Yoongi said that I probably need some of them at home and in the office for positive energy and he’s not wrong. All the frustration from months ago just accumulated in my apartment and I need a change.”

“So… Is Yoongi a plant dad, too?” Soomin wonders.

“No. He just knows about a lot of things,” you reply. “Plus, he’s an architect and a designer. He knows a thing or two about plant decor.”

“Why isn’t he here with you, then?” She arches an eyebrow.

“Because I’m with both of you, duh,” you roll your eyes. “And before you say anything more, I don’t really like mixing my work friends with my personal friends. It’s different.”

“Well, I’m glad we could join you on this new phase of your life,” Jimin tries to be encouraging. “It’s like turning over a new leaf.”

You scold him over his terrible pun but laugh anyway, enjoying the comfort and playfulness that only your best friends could bring. They picked you up from work last Friday then you all headed to a club after dinner. You spent yesterday at a beach at their insistence then stayed in during the evening. It’s now Sunday and you’re dragging them around as you run errands before saying goodbye to them again, and it’s not a normal day without Soomin mentioning Yoongi. Perhaps it’s because of all the guys you’ve mentioned that have taken interest in you, he’s the only true green flag; he’s also the only one you didn’t entertain at all. You suppose that’s something she’ll not really get over. 

The three of you head to a nearby cafe. Jimin excitedly talks about the latest menu item in their chain of restaurants while Soomin groans about the stuff she has to deal with as she manages her family-owned shipping company that’s the biggest in the port city of Busan. They turn to you and ask how the rest of your week is going to go, with slightly surprised looks when you don’t talk about work with as much disdain as you used to. There’s excitement, even, something that Soomin points out, and when you mention that Jungkook is on an overseas trip, she assumes that’s the reason why.

“Not really,” you clarify. “He arrives tomorrow evening, but the week’s packed - we’re visiting the Arts Center for inspection and then I’m doing an ocular with Chin-sun for the VP events we’re holding in the next few months. I mean, I won’t be buried in files nor will I be in meetings all week. So yeah, it’s not bad.”

“That’s good,” Jimin beams. “At least it’s nothing like how it used to be. Right?”

“It’s a lot better, I told you guys,” you say, reminding them of a similar talk you had the last time they were here, which was a week after you’d gotten sick. “Jungkook is… rational, less grumpy and impulsive; he also listens to me and trusts me. He’s even smiled a few times.”

“Wow, he really set the bar low for you, huh,” Jimin chuckles, earning him a nod.

“Does that also mean that he’s now completely bearable and no longer your type because he’s not an asshole anymore?” Soomin chimes in, being the blunt and bold one among the three of you.

“He never was my type in the first place,” you scowl. “Plus, he’s literally my boss, Soo. That’s like, not some flag, it’s a whole ass brick wall that shall not be crossed.”

“Right. That’s why Mr. Min didn’t make the cut,” she points out. “Told you you should’ve just quit your job so you could date him.”

“And I also told you that wasn’t the only reason why I didn’t want to,” you remind her. “Yoongi’s exactly the type of person I need in my life, and being more than friends is the surefire way of making sure that doesn’t happen. Like, why would I risk a good friendship for something that may not work out? Whether I break his heart or he breaks mine, it’s pain I can’t handle. There’s just no going back from there.”

“Right, that is your biggest fear,” Soomin replies softly, the sympathetic tone in her voice telling you that she does understand where you’re coming from. “I mean, it’s still possible that you wouldn’t hurt each other but I get it. It just sucks, I guess. The good ones often start as your friends.”

“I know. And I’d rather have them and be single than none at all,” you sigh. 

The thought is simpler than it seems. You won’t deny that you’ve thought of how things would’ve been if you gave Yoongi a chance, but the fear of what you’d lose always trumped that type of possibility. 

There’s a kind of pain you don’t want to experience, one of a broken heart caused by losing someone you’ve given your all to. It’s how you think you love, after all; you can’t give any less. But it’s also why you’ve never done it. No one’s inspired that kind of devotion for you. 

Soomin has pointed out before that it’s probably also because you don’t open yourself up to the possibilities as you should. Maybe you’ve just been too focused on other things. But maybe you also just haven’t felt the kind of all-consuming desire for someone who would be worth it, one you’d want so much that you’d willingly face the fear of paralyzing heartbreak just to be with them. 

You suppose that’s the difference. That’s the irony, too. You’re scared to love because you’re scared of the pain, so you keep your distance to keep yourself safe but it’s also why you haven’t found someone you’re willing to crawl out of your walls for.  

There’s not much you feel passionate about in life. Maybe it’s love. But you’re too cautious to feel it, to look for it, so you don’t really know. Maybe it’s something else completely, and working in the environment that you do hinders you from discovering it. You’ve kept your distance from a lot of things over the past years and the thought that one day, you’ll be able to feel free from all the burden you carry because of a past you couldn’t control, makes you look forward to the day when you get to walk away from all those and hopefully, find whatever it is you’re looking for. 

Jimin nudges you after you zone out, and you switch the subject and ask about the latest gossip in their hometown. You enjoy living vicariously through their social life back in Busan. They not only come out here to Seoul to see you but also to take a break from all the drama that they can’t really escape from, given the type of people in their circle of friends. You always thank the heavens you got lucky that at 10 years old and making a new life in a new city, you found Soomin and Jimin, perhaps the only other people aside from your mother who make you feel safe and protected, a feeling you don’t take for granted. 

They indulge you and share some stories, but when Soomin goes through her social media feed to show you something, she gasps instead when she realizes that the men in her friend’s Instagram post include Jungkook.

“Did your boss just go there to party?” She asks, showing you the photo.

“Partly,” you reply. “His best friend hosted the launch of his alcohol line there but there are a couple more parties because it’s his birthday weekend. Your friends went?”

“Yeah, some of them are Kim Seokjin’s friends, apparently,” Soomin says. “Small world. But then again, I shouldn’t be surprised. Seoul and Busan socialites attract each other.”

“Why aren’t you there, then?” You chuckle. 

“We’re choosy socialites,” Jimin clarifies. “Or like, pretentious. We just act like we are but we really aren’t, just to say that the Park and Cheon kids are interesting and sociable like the rest of them.”

“Who says they’re interesting and sociable?” Soomin states incredulously. “My eyes roll to the back of my head every time I’m in those shitty events. The lack of self-awareness of rich people repulses me. And I obviously don’t count us in.”

“And you shouldn’t,” you confirm. “I attract good people, I guess. I’m glad you’re not like them.”

“Well, what about Jungkook’s friends?” Jimin asks. “How are they like?”

“What I can say about the Kim brothers is that they’re nice people,” you say. “Very charming, ridiculously good-looking... And they sound like good friends, too. I can’t say much else. Their dating game is pretty strong though.”

“I’d assume. I mean, when you look like that, how could you not be?” Soomin states. “I mean, even Jungkook’s on point. That’s some hot girl he’s got.”

She shows you a couple of Instagram stories from her friends posting about the launch party. It turns out, there were a lot of Korea-based personalities who were invited. You spot Jungkook immediately, wearing the all-white ensemble that you packed for him the other day. His hair is a bit curled and the knitted top underneath the simple coat highlights his taut physique. There’s also that gorgeous woman around his arms, and if what you know about him is enough, you’d guess she’s probably one of those he seeks for a good time. 

The sight of him loosening up a bit and enjoying himself is something you appreciate. He’s always stressed when he’s here and you’re glad he could spend a few days partying elsewhere without having to think about work, especially during the week of his birthday. You don’t know how much of this aspect of his life he enjoys, but he does seem a bit free yet still somehow detached. You suppose that’s something he’ll always be - a man trying to live his life while separating himself from the meaning of it. You’re unsure of how he does it but perhaps it’s not that different from how you are, too. 

After lunch, Soomin and Jimin do a few more of your errands with you before dropping you home and then heading back to theirs. You spend the rest of the evening arranging your plants in your tiny apartment and feeling like more life is breathed into it with every one of them finding their home in a corner or on a shelf. Oddly enough, you feel a bit less lonely. That’s how you think you’ve been doing things, after all - finding substitutes for the kind of company you’re yearning for, for the kind of relationship you’re so afraid to have.

Jungkook wakes up that Monday morning feeling a lot better than he did the days before. For one, there’s no ringing in his head nor the feeling of dehydration. Bare under his soft covers, there also aren’t any fresh marks on his chest that signify the kind of night he usually has. In fact, he remembers most of it - he stayed by the bar and briefly chatted with the women who’d approached him. 

Suzy was there last night, too, the only one he’s hooked up with more than once, and probably the only one he’s had proper conversations with, given that she’s a landscape designer. She’s been away on business trips and had just gone back, her bluntness about going back to his apartment that she’s too familiar with being met with a rejection that she didn't take personally. 

“Has Seoul changed you?” She asked, her eyebrow arched in anticipation of his reply.

“Do you think a place would do that to me?” He laughed.

“No, but a person would,” she shrugged. 

“None of that,” he shook his head. “There’s no one. I’m too busy, too tired.”

“But not too lonely?” she asked. “It’s the only reason why you would call me.”

There was no bitterness in her words but still, he asked. “And why did you always come, then?”

“To see if each time would be good enough for you to not make me leave.” 

The conversation took a turn that he didn’t expect, the usual honesty in her words being too honest for him. He fumbled for something to say but she shook him off, claiming that she knew what she was getting into every time he took her home and that constantly hoping for something doesn’t guarantee that she’d get it one day. 

He drank a couple of glasses of whiskey after she left but managed to call his butler for a sandwich and lemon ginger tea in time for his arrival at his penthouse. The meal did the trick, as he’d slept soundly after a warm bath without a splitting headache and regrets the next day. 

It’s Monday, after all, and it’s back to work as usual. He has a few meetings to attend before flying back to Seoul, one of which is with the team. He gathers the energy to get off the bed for a half-hour exercise before getting ready. He eats the breakfast that the butler orders for him then heads to the office where he briefly meets with Lucas. 

Settled on his desk, he proceeds to virtually meet with the team, who all promptly greet him from the conference room. He asks how their weekend was, with most of them looking surprised because he rarely asks them about it, but they answer anyway. That’s when he notices that you’re not around, prompting him to look for you.

“I’m here, Mr. Jeon,” you answer off camera before appearing on screen with a candle-lit cake in your hands.

He’s surprised when the team sings him a happy birthday, your eyes fixed on him as you mouth the words with a soft smile on your face. Do-hyun giggles at his silence, saying that he probably forgot it was his birthday or he maybe didn’t expect that they’d prepare something for him. 

“We like you now, Mr. Jeon,” she teases, earning him a nudge from Chin-sun but she doesn’t seem to mind and neither does he. 

It’s what makes him laugh, hoping that the pink on his cheeks aren’t visible on screen. He hadn’t expected this. He also knows he doesn’t deserve it, but he’d bet that you had everything to do with this.

“You’ve probably been too busy to celebrate but we haven’t forgotten. More like, Ms. Cho made sure we remembered,” Manager Lee chuckles. “We hope you enjoy this little something we prepared.”

“It’s an ice cream cake so it’ll just be in your refrigerator and you can have some when you return,” you say. 

“Thank you,” he finally manages to say. “You didn’t have to but I appreciate it. I’m looking forward to having some when I get back. Ms. Cho should also buy another one big enough for the team to share.”

You nod in acknowledgment of his instruction before starting with the meeting. There’s a lot to talk about, given the Arts Center construction and activities, as well as the upcoming year-end events that they have to organize and coordinate. It goes on for over two hours and it ends with your gentle smile after he says goodbye.  

The rest of the day feels too long for Jungkook, especially during the late afternoon flight and eventual ride home. He stares at the photo you sent of the cake, making sure he sees the greeting on it. 

“Get home safely, Mr. Jeon,” you text him after he says thanks. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

With the reminders of the impermanence of things and people this weekend, Jungkook finds comfort in the stability that you provide. It’s in your smile, in your reminders and organization of his life, in your thoughtfulness and patience. It’s in the assurance that tomorrow is another day, one in which he gets to see you once again.

The cake is simple but sophisticated. The mint chocolate flavor is exactly how he likes it and in ice cream cake form, it’s really delicious. He’s glad he gets to have this all for himself, as the team was able to enjoy one yesterday as per his instruction, and you’d sent a group photo of everyone enjoying it to him, the small smile that formed on his face no longer surprising him. 

For one, the comfort is there. He’s seen just how much better the team is working together because of it - they’re more open to giving him feedback and receiving his, any moment of frustration is easily mended with laughter, and his encouragement and affirmation have been motivating them as well. In the midst of it is you who makes sure that communication flows smoothly and that everything is on track, acting as the glue that keeps everyone together. 

He sees firsthand just how good you are at handling things, and how despite all the stress, you manage to get him seaweed soup and a cake for his birthday. It’s more than just the details regarding work that you’re on top of; it’s also details about his life, and how he’s responding to it tells him that maybe, whatever change there is like what Suzy observed, a big part of it is because of you.

“I’m glad you like it, Mr. Jeon,” your voice cuts through his thoughts. 

He looks up and sees you with a portfolio in hand, motioning towards the cake that’s now one fourth eaten.

“Ah, yeah,” he says, not denying it. “I feel like I haven’t had sweets in a while. Where did you buy this?”

“Oh, uh, I asked the baker who made desserts for the Arts Center event if she could make a customized ice cream cake,” you explain. “Fortunately she could. And thankfully it’s delicious. She enjoyed working with us so she gave us a discount.”

“You… had this made for me?”

He’d expected it to be store-bought, but learning you made the effort to reach out to someone reminds him once more of your thoughtfulness, of your care.

“Yes, I, uh, I just assumed you’d receive a few and I thought to give you something a little different.”

“It’s the only one I got actually,” he says, catching you off guard. Your face falls a little so he follows it up. “Like I told you, I don’t celebrate my birthday so I don’t let people know about it. And the ones who do also know that I don’t make a big deal out of it so they don’t really give me anything.”

“Oh,” you say, feeling a little sad. 

You’re not one to have big celebrations but you do have a bit of it. For your 30th birthday at the start of the year, Jimin and Soomin threw you a little party in your humble home in Daegu where they performed some of your favorite songs and enacted your favorite drama scenes to make you happy. There was no need for anything fancy - just your loved ones and your mom’s and Min-woo’s amazing cooking. 

But even before that milestone, your friends always made sure to at least get you seaweed soup and a birthday cake; they want you to remember that there are lives impacted because you were born. You can’t really say that Jungkook’s impacted your life the same way but you still value his existence; a small cake is just a little something to celebrate that. But the idea that his family and friends pass up on the cake - and perhaps the gifts, too - makes you think that there’s really not much in Jungkook’s life he feels he could share with others, that there’s not much he could give and receive in return. 

“I hope I didn’t cross a line if it’s something you don’t like people knowing,” you continue. “I just thought… it would be nice to receive something from us.”

“It actually was,” he admits, his voice soft and low. Turning away, he says, “it’s been a while since I actually thought about my birthday as anything other than ordinary. It’s nice to be reminded sometimes. So thank you, Ms. Cho. For the soup, too. I appreciate it.”

Perhaps it’s his honesty that does it, but you can’t help the smile that forms on your face. If learning how to express gratitude is something you could teach him, you already feel accomplished. 

It’s the next day when you find yourself back in Jungkook’s office, staring at the potted plant in your hands. You’ve gone from debating on whether to leave it on his desk or the coffee table, to even giving it at all. You won’t lie and say you didn’t know what you were thinking when you passed by the plant store after work last night to get this specifically for him. You did - you wanted him to feel that joy of receiving a gift, which you suppose doesn’t happen, especially for someone who can literally buy anything he wants. 

But still, it doesn’t mean that your good intention will be received well. You’ve given Hoseok a small gift every year for his birthday, partly because he likes receiving them and also because it’s your way of saying thanks. 

You want to give this to Jungkook as a form of gratitude, too. Despite how you both started, the amount of things you’ve learned from him and continue to have somehow made up for it, and you also know that he’s learning from you as well. He’s given you agency to make decisions. He’s also given you events and small projects to manage, making you realize it’s what you really enjoy doing. Seeing things come together the way you envisioned it is so satisfying. Perhaps without intending it, Jungkook’s showed you a way out, a path that you want to explore so much that you’re willing to let go of all that you know in this company for something new, for something that feels more like you. 

Your thoughts have completely digressed and with the time you took debating and reflecting, you hadn’t heard his footsteps, and so you jerk a little when he calls out your name.

Turning around, you bow in greeting, remembering at the same time that you have something that you’re not 100% sure yet you want to give right now. But as always, he calls you out on it. 

“Is that a snake plant?” He asks, walking towards his seat.

“Yes.”

“Is that the one on your desk?”

“Uh, no, actually,” you laugh dryly, knowing you can’t turn back from it now. “I… I meant to give it to you, sir. I just thought that, uh, the money tree on the shelf might be too lonely so I got you a desk plant. I heard it’s good for positive energy and to filter the air.”

“It is,” he hums. “Is that why you got yourself one?”

“I suppose. I figured it could help improve my mood. Yoongi suggested it before but I just kept pushing it back. I finally got some for my apartment last weekend,” you explain, just so he knows it didn’t come out of nowhere. 

“And you think this will improve my mood?” He arches an eyebrow. 

“Maybe,” you shrug. “We’ll probably need a dozen of them here but we could start with one.”

He matches your soft laughter with his own, which you’re thankful for. He reaches out for the plant, nonchalant like you when your fingers brush against each other. 

“Hopefully this will work,” he says as he places the small, white pot next to his desktop. 

You leave him so he could prepare for a conference call while you’re set to meet with the marketing team. Jungkook gazes at the plant and notices the little note attached to the string around the stem. 

Happy birthday, it reads. 

This wasn’t just something to match the money tree that Hoseok left for him that he hasn’t been caring for much. This was a gift for him. You probably assume that if he doesn’t receive birthday cakes, he wouldn’t be receiving gifts, either. And you’d be right. His best friends just throw him parties. And once he left Seoul to obtain his MBA in Singapore and stayed to work in their Southeast Asian headquarters, the distance between him and his parents grew. They’d reach out but he didn’t bother much, so he’d stopped expecting anything. After he broke up with Chaerin, he stopped receiving anything at all. This is the first time he’s gotten something from someone after a long time. 

It’s simple in its meaning and honest in its intention, and he doesn’t hold back the smile that forms on his face.

You watch the realization dawn on Jungkook from outside. You’d remembered the silly note you left right as you sat down and didn’t have time to take it back, which really wasn’t much, but you suppose it’s enough to tell him that the plant indeed is a gift. You don’t know if someone like him even receives them, or would even appreciate something so cheap and humble, but the gentle smile he has on tells you that he probably doesn’t get much, but that this is something he welcomes. 

Your smile follows soon after but it feels different this time. There’s pride somehow that your little gift could elicit something so rare out of him. There’s also a bit of awe; this is the softest he’s ever looked, with that tinge of gratitude and yearning, a complete contrast to what you know of him, to how you’ve always seen him. It’s… it’s actually beautiful. 

And this is when things start to get confusing, especially as your phone beeps with that SMS from him.

[From: The Boss] Thank you, ___.

It’s the non-work message. It’s the use of your name. This is personal for him and you acknowledge that it’s the same for you. Perhaps there’s a reason why you made the effort to get the gift last night, why it mattered to you that he received something to celebrate his birthday, and why seeing him appreciate it the way he does is making you giddy and satisfied at the same time. 

Maybe it’s the care you’re starting to feel for him that’s beyond just wanting to make your job bearable. You’ll dissect what that truly means later on, but right now it’s just you, him, and the glass wall in between the both of you. There’s distance, there’s a boundary, but there’s a transparent barrier that allows you to see what’s on the other side, one which allows you to know who he is behind the man you’ve come to know. And you admit, he’s not so bad after all.

The construction of the Arts Center is going better than expected. Given some of the delays due to the wrong materials delivered and some permits that took a while to get, the workers were able to make up some ground, largely due to Jungkook’s supervision. When you both visited a few weeks ago, there were many things to work on, and he managed to identify the priorities and find ways to get the project back on track. 

It was during those few days of constantly being on site that you saw how efficient and effective he really works. You admired his precision and attention to detail, how he instructed the team leads and project managers and laborers, how he put together the design of one of the rooms just as he’d envisioned it. 

He was commanding and decisive, and you appreciated his thorough and simple explanations that allowed you to keep up with him. He’s said that he wants you to understand what’s happening so that you’re well-informed should you need to communicate to others on his behalf, and what initially intimidated you turned into something you became interested in. Since then, you’ve been watching design shows to help you further. The challenge was welcomed, and now you feel like everyday, you’re learning something new on the job. 

His instructions from that time were followed, and you’re back today to inspect the rest of the spaces. Everything is so massive, and with one half of the wall of the performance hall already done, you can clearly see the upgrade. The details are impressive, and the way that the traditional designs merge with modern elements is a feature itself. 

You’re immersed in the intricacies of the ceiling, walking towards the wall to get a closer look that you don’t immediately notice the workers walking past you with a massive slab of marble. The moment that you do, you step back too quickly, tripping on your heels, and just as you brace yourself to hit the ground, you instead feel your back against a firm chest, with hands on your elbows breaking your fall.

You sigh in relief, even leaning your head back because nothing could be more embarrassing than falling on your ass in front of many people, including your boss. That is, until the familiar scent of jasmine and bergamot wafts through your nose and you realize that what you just did is debatably more embarrassing than what could’ve happened. 

The familiar clearing of the throat is what finally does it for you, and with wide eyes, you turn around and face him to apologize. 

“I’m sorry, sir. I—”

“Was so much in awe that you didn’t notice the workers passing by,” he finishes, his slightly teasing smile calming you down.

“Ah, well of course. The details are too pretty,” you reason, stepping back only a little. You look at him shyly. “But thank you. I was about to fall.”

“I know. And I was about to lose it if my assistant got injured on the job.”

“True. It’s bad publicity, I guess,” you shrug. “And distractions could cause delays. And that’s bad, too.”

“Or you know, I simply just can’t have you injured, simple as that,” he says with a little frown on his face. 

“Imagine if I didn’t see them? They could’ve dropped the marble and I would’ve completely lost it!”

“Why?” He arches an eyebrow.

“That slab is like, two months’ worth of salary, Mr. Jeon.”

“It’s actually more but that’s not the point,” he fully frowns now. “If you didn’t see them, then they could’ve hit you, and then you would be whining in pain right now. You could’ve gotten seriously hurt, ___.”

His voice is firm and low, and you nod in acknowledgment because you also know he’s right. The workers’ vision was limited but yours wasn’t; you were just too distracted and if you hadn’t pulled early enough, that marble really could’ve done damage to you. And if it wasn’t for Jungkook catching your fall, then something bad still would’ve happened to you.

“But are you okay? You didn’t twist your ankle or anything?” He asks.

“No. Uh, the heel’s just a bit loose but I’m fine,” you reply, still trying to wrap your head around how he’d said your name - informally, in this setting, as he told you that you could’ve gotten hurt. Maybe you weren’t imagining the worried tone of his voice earlier.

“Okay,” he sighs. “You have to be careful next time.”

“I will, sir,” you reply. 

You step aside and Jungkook sees you from his peripheral vision as he returns to assessing, staying put and only glancing at the ceiling unlike earlier. He’d seen you marvel at the design of the hall earlier, and while he was initially doing the same, seeing you wide-eyed and impressed caught his attention more. 

Many times, he’s seen you look dejected, frustrated, angry. He’s seen your moments of focus and joy, too, but this is the first time he’s seen you be in awe. There was this softness on your face that was still filled with emotion, and he’d been drawn to you enough to see that you were about to fall. He’s glad he has quick reflexes and was able to get to you in time, the worry he felt at the thought of you getting hurt in any way was quite overwhelming for him. And while it’s partly because you’re his responsibility in this case, he also knows it’s more than that. 

He gestures moving to another room and you follow him outside, and just as you try to stay close to him, Jungkook also makes sure you’re away from any kind of danger. He moves to your side when there are workers nearby with their heavy equipment and large materials. He shields you from the drilling. He glances at you as you both walk towards the other performance hall. And when you get there, you see the ceiling installation is ongoing, and Jungkook immediately calls for hard hats for the both of you. 

He hands you one and you put it on, fumbling with the strap underneath your chin. You groan in frustration when you’re unable to lock it, and that’s when you see him move towards you. 

“Let me,” he says.

You stop your movements and shyly nod in agreement, and he waits for you to let go before he fixes it himself. 

It’s a little odd being on the other side, since it’s always you who fixes his tie or his coat. But you’re the one watching him now, with his furrowed brows and seriousness in securing this safety gear on you making you feel warm inside.

He steps back then looks at you, trying hard to control his laughter.

“Are you laughing at me, sir?” You pout.

“No. I don’t make fun of people,” he says, turning serious now, but you don’t miss the grin on his face.

It’s unfair that he looks good even with a hard hat on.

One of the project managers calls him and he goes around, with you staying close by. This performance hall is bigger and boasts of a more traditional design, which would hold the cultural performances that the Culture Minister is very excited about. You watch Jungkook inspect the space with thoroughness, checking each wall panel and each seat. 

It’s amazing to you just how involved he is with this project even with the project managers handling things relatively well. He wants to be on top of everything, he’s said; it matters too much for him to not know what’s going on. 

You see Yoongi enter the room and approach him. Once he sees you, he laughs as well.

“Do I look that bad?” You groan. “Mr. Jeon was laughing at me, too.”

“It’s a little big, and I guess I’m just not used to seeing you in one,” Yoongi shrugs.

“Why don’t you have one?”

“I don’t need it. I’m here all the time and nothing happens.”

“Well, I’ve been here a few times and I almost fell earlier,” you say, recalling the almost-embarrassment.

“I know, I saw it,” he chuckles.

“You were there?!” You gasp.

“No, I was totally in the other room that’s why I witnessed you almost get hit by the marble then trip on yourself,” he deadpans. 

“I didn’t see you, that’s all,” you shrug. 

“I was by the doors. I checked these spaces yesterday and I just wanted to be around in case Jungkook had new instructions,” he explains. “But I gotta say, you guys were kinda cute earlier.”

“Almost falling on my ass isn’t cute, Min Yoongi,” you scowl. “I could’ve either ruined the marble slab or hurt my bum. Either way, it would’ve been embarrassing.”

“I didn’t mean just you. I meant you guys,” he gestures towards Jungkook. “He caught you, didn’t he?”

“Yes… That was embarrassing, too,” you frown. “What’s cute about that?”

“He looked worried. It’s just not something I’ve seen him be towards other people, that’s all.”

“It’s because an injured employee on site isn’t good, okay? Plus, if I’m incapable, then no one’s gonna be around to make his life easier,” you reason.

Yoongi stares at you for a while before shaking his head. “Wow, you really are dense.” 

“I don’t know what you’re on about,” you cross your arms in frustration. 

“Forget about it,” Yoongi shakes his head, deciding not to push it. 

He’ll tell you another time that he’s glad you’re becoming more of yourself again, that the light has somehow come back, that there’s now comfort you exude around the man you’d once despised. Yoongi feels assured now that there’s someone else who seems to be looking out for you, and that it’s something you don’t seem to mind at all.

“Yah! You’re being all mysterious again!” You pout, something he chuckles about. 

“Me? Mysterious? Come on. I’ve always been an open book,” he teases. 

You’re just about to nag him again when you hear Jungkook clear his throat, and you turn towards him and ask if he’s already done inspecting.

“There are still a few things I want to run by my design lead before leaving,” Jungkook says. “Please move my meeting to 3PM.”

“That’s noted, sir. I’ll give Mr. Hong’s assistant a call.”

You excuse yourself and step outside, leaving both men alone.

“Angering my assistant, are you?” Jungkook asks Yoongi, the curious yet playful tone in his voice evident.

“Nah, just teasing. That a problem?” Yoongi answers back. 

“No. It’s good she has someone she’s comfortable with at work.”

“Could be you, you know? That isn’t so bad,” Yoongi remarks, surprising him. “And it doesn’t cross whatever boundary you’re trying so hard to stay behind.”

“We’re not… on that level. I mean, I don’t know how to be someone other people are comfortable being around,” Jungkook admits.

“I don’t know about that. Seems like you’re already that for her,” Yoongi says. “I was just teasing her about how you guys looked cute earlier, when you broke her fall.”

“You were there?”

“Both of you really don’t notice other people when it’s just both of you, huh,” Yoongi laughs. “But yeah, I was. I saw her relief. And I saw you worry.”

Jungkook merely shrugs, not wanting to confirm. Even if he denies it, Yoongi will still believe what he wants to believe. But the older man knows you well just as much as he knows him. 

“You care about her, don’t you?” Yoongi responds to the silence. “And I mean not in a superficial way, or a good boss caring for his employee type of way. Like, you worry when she’s sick or overworking, when she’s hurt or in danger. You want her to always be safe, to get rest. You like having her near. You wanna know that she’s happy.”

“You know I can’t do that,” Jungkook finally answers. “I can’t think of her that way.”

“I know. That’s why you were the way you were,” Yoongi says. “How else do you respond to things you can’t control than through anger and detachment? But just because you shouldn’t, it doesn’t change the fact that you do.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that it’s wrong,” Jungkook counters.

“Well, irrationally calling her out and being angry were wrong, too, and you did those because you weren’t being honest with yourself,” Yoongi argues. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, the least you can do is be true to yourself about how you feel. Because the more you deny, then the more you resist, and when you do that, you end up hurting her. Is that what you want?”

“Of course not.”

“Then just… accept things - what you feel, what you both are, what you can or can’t be.”

Jungkook looks at his friend as if some epiphany had just transpired. It’s been difficult for him to make sense of what he feels around you. There’s always that air of familiarity, but the warmth and comfort are new. There’s the reality that you come from different worlds, but that you both somehow feel and experience and maybe desire the same things. There’s that sense of fear over change and of what he can’t control, yet you somehow provide the calm and stability that he hasn’t felt in a long time. 

It’s all these contradictions that have been messing with him, and Yoongi’s right - because of all the times that Jungkook had wanted to create that distance, all it did was hurt you. That’s the last thing he wants, he realizes now. He’s seen you struggle, and even if that’s just a fraction of what you normally go through, it’s enough to tell him that he doesn’t want you to experience that again, especially not because of him. It’s too early to say the extent of his care towards you, and it’s not something he’s willing or ready to explore right now. But just as Jungkook’s about to comfort himself that it’s fine, and that he shouldn’t dwell on it anyway so as not to further nurture it, Yoongi speaks again.

“Just… just a heads up, though,” he adds. “The care that I felt, that’s how it started for me.”

“What started?”

“Me, liking her.”

It’s at that moment when you come back from your call, and you inform Jungkook that the meeting’s been moved and that he has a scheduled one with some of the directors on Monday. 

“Alright,” he says, directing you and Yoongi towards the souvenir shop, temporarily disregarding what he was warned about.

“You two looked so serious. Everything okay?” You whisper to your friend. 

“Yeah,” Yoongi hums, giving you the most genuine smile he could give. 

There’s that sparkle and softness in your eyes that had captured him all those years ago. They dimmed throughout the years and they’ve just been sporadic, illuminating only during specific moments. He’d seen them again a lot more regularly, and even today, as you looked around the halls and admired the designs of the space. 

Yoongi doesn’t know if a certain person is the reason for that. He knows you enough that you wouldn’t even notice it, so you definitely wouldn’t know what caused the change. But as your friend, he hopes one day you will, so that if you’re brave enough, too, you’d try to make sure that the light stays. 

The inspection ends and you get back to the office at 4. You return to piles of documents you have to sift through and encode, and your original plan of leaving on time changes. 

Jungkook spends over an hour talking with Yoongi and the construction lead about the Arts Center, and once that’s over, you see just how exhausted he is. He’s massaging his temples and sighing deeply, and you know that whatever just transpired, he’s going to be thinking about it all throughout the weekend, which he doesn’t really have time for. The gala that one of the Board members throws annually is tomorrow night, an event you’ll be attending with him as well. 

You enter his room to remind him about it and to give some forms for his signature. He signs them off, and when you say you’ve got a few more requests that you’ll leave on his desk for Monday, he tells you to just wait until then.

“Go home, Ms. Cho,” he says. “It’s been a long week. And it won’t end until after tomorrow night.”

“What about you, Mr. Jeon?”

“I’ve got some stuff to sort through after inspection. I’ll probably leave in an hour or so.”

You frown, a mannerism of yours that he’s gotten used to seeing. It’s mixed with a pout that often makes him internally laugh because it seems unlike you. It also always means there’s something you want to say that you’re holding back.

“Should I not?” He arches an eyebrow.

“Hmm. Just thinking that it might be better for you to take a rest tonight, too,” you advise. “The gala could be quite draining and it would be good to save your energy for that.”

“I’ll think about it,” he hums.

“Then I’ll think about going home, too,” you answer back. 

Jungkook chuckles, knowing you’re always going to counter him in some way. And he’s glad that you do.

“You may go. And get a good rest, too.”

You nod and bid him goodbye, exiting the room to start packing your things. It’s five minutes later when the door opens and you see him with his bag, ready to head home as well.

You smile at his tender doe-eyes as he admits through them that you were right - he doesn’t have a reason to stay behind, so he’ll call it a night and get as much rest as he can. 

He pauses by the entryway, and you pick up that he’s waiting for you, perhaps to make sure that you’re indeed going home. You quicken your pace and walk next to him, steps in pace as you both go to the elevator and down to the lobby. 

“Mr. Ri can bring you home after me,” Jungkook says. “It’s late already.”

“Not late enough,” you reply. “I’m okay, Mr. Jeon. It’s not necessary.”

He concedes, and you wait for the car to arrive and say goodbye to him again. 

There’s a softness on his face as he lingers before he enters. A small smile forms, and it’s what you see until you fall asleep that night. It’s the same one that’s oddly been giving you comfort lately - it’s a little restrained but somehow it still looks vulnerable. Perhaps it represents how Jungkook’s been to you - there are some contradictions, but beyond all that, there’s care.

Mr. Ri happily greets you as you enter the car that late Saturday afternoon to head to Jungkook’s penthouse. He compliments your dress, saying it’s nice to see you in something formal that fits your style - it’s simple yet elegant, and you tell him that your mother wouldn’t stop gushing over you through the screen, nagging you to send full-body photos so she could appreciate you more.

Jimin and Soomin surprised you in the morning to help you fix up, insisting that they wanted to make sure you spoiled yourself for the event. If you wouldn’t, they would, so they treated you to the hair salon and had your nails done. They’re the ones who took so many photos like some formal dance, and Jimin commented that the only downside was that they were sending you off to pick up Jungkook. 

Defending your boss the way you did surprised you a little; it surprised them a lot more. You’d said that he bought you the dress, that he’s been nothing but kind, and that whatever negative feelings you had towards him are all in the past. Your friends understood, deciding not to ruin your night and then letting you go so they could eat out and meet you back at your apartment once you’re done. 

You chat with Mr. Ri about how things have been at work, your friends, and your family. You also talk about the gala and how it feels a little nerve-racking attending this time, given your experience with Jungkook. 

It’s a grand event that the company’s executives attend, and guests are asked to refrain from going solo. For such requests, it’s not unusual for them to bring their assistants. You’re expected to attend anyway, and assistants usually partner up with each other and it always worked. You went with Hoseok last year because A-yeong had a work event, and while you expected that Jungkook wouldn’t care for such request and maintain that he’d go by himself, you also didn’t think that CEO Jeon would insist that his son take you as his date so he wouldn’t be alone. 

The elder Jeon had reasoned that business discussions usually take place during the gala, and it would be good for you to be around and be familiar with the new people on the scene. Hoseok had said that they’re expected to stay through the whole thing, and it’s much better for his cousin to have a companion so he could survive the night. That was months ago when things were still a little shaky for you both. You still remember Jungkook’s displeased look when it seemed like he had no choice in the matter, especially since he probably thought that his father just wanted to make sure he’d act accordingly. It feels like a lifetime ago, really, as you think about his soft smile from last night. 

You don’t know exactly what you’re feeling, why his gestures or mannerisms suddenly mean something to you, or why there’s excitement when you think about seeing him outside of work. You’re unsure why the curve of his lips when he grins or the deep huff that follows his laugh makes you a little giddy, or why his eyes lingering on you makes your heart beat a little faster than usual.  

Just like right now, as they gaze at you while you seemingly do the same. 

“You look, uh—” he starts, unable to find the accurate but appropriate term to describe how you look. 

“Nice?” You finish, recalling the term he’d used when you tried this gown for the first time. 

“Something like that,” he chuckles, earning him a giggle from you.

He playfully shakes his head, perhaps knowing that you’re used to him not making grand compliments or anything. But he does smile after, and there goes that blissful feeling again. 

Maybe it’s because for the first time, you’re being appreciated. Maybe just like how it’s been recently, he likes being around you, prefers it, even. And given how you felt so unwanted during his first few weeks here, this is a blessing, as if in his appreciation of you, you’re liking yourself as well.

“Well, in my opinion, you look quite dashing, Mr. Jeon,” you say bravely. “Except your waistcoat seems to be uneven.”

“Exactly what I thought,” he sighs. “I can’t quite align it properly.”

And as you always do, you approach him, your hands immediately going towards his shoulders to flatten the vest, then his sides to pull it down. You adjust it a little bit more then fix his collar after, and suddenly this feels so natural - being close to him, taking in his scent, and smiling as he glances at you. 

“Do you need help with your coat?” You ask once you finish.  

He nods and you follow him to his walk-in closet where you take the last piece of clothing and assist him in wearing it. He adjusts the lapels while you assess if all wrinkles have been flattened. You watch him look at himself in the mirror and you can’t help but admire him as well. He exudes confidence, which you can say now is strikingly different from the Appointment Dinner where he still looked a bit unsure. But now, he commands respect. The deep black color of his striped three-piece ensemble with his slick hair parted in the middle makes him even more handsome, and you manage to hold in the gasp you were about to release as he faces you for a final look.

“All good?” He asks. 

“All good,” you smile, turning around and walking back to the living room. 

He follows, and he takes this time to bask in your beauty before he has to act like it doesn’t affect him again.

There’s a reason why he was rendered speechless the first time he saw you in this gown at the tailor shop, so much so that he had to step out to get some air. You look even more stunning now, with your classic but natural-looking makeup and your styled hair. You exude a certain kind of glow that sucks him in, that makes his heart race yet soothes him just the same. 

It’s a little dangerous for him, given that he’ll be spending this entire evening with you as his date, looking the way you do while he has to act disinterested, as if his attraction isn’t slapping him in the face and his internal alarm bells aren’t ringing.

But he has to act professional. He has to stay behind the lines even if his mind is yelling all the words about your beauty that he has to ignore. So he gives himself this short moment where he gets to admire you, and when you make it to the elevator and become confined in a small space, he holds his breath as you smile at him shyly, hoping that he doesn’t give himself away. 

He’ll get himself together, he orders to himself, and he’ll make sure he doesn’t scare you off. 

You make it to the lobby and enter the car. The drive to the venue is quiet at the beginning. It’s technically not a work day so there’s no reason to discuss work. You and Jungkook may have started talking about non-work matters but it doesn’t mean you readily talk about actual personal things. They’re occasional, as it’s not something he seems to do much and you’re often guarded about yours. It took a while for you to open up to Yoongi and even then, there are many things he doesn’t know. You’re comfortable around him, there’s no denying that, but there are still parts of you that you don’t like to share with others, and you suppose that Jungkook is the same.

But still, you ask how his evening was and how his day went, expecting he’d give a basic answer.

“I just stayed home last night and watched soccer over drinks,” he says. “Then I did my workout and went for a swim this morning. I did a bit of work in the afternoon and then got ready.”

“Ah, no party last night and then recovering from it in the morning?” You tease, knowing that’s a usual occurrence for him. Lucas did mention about the Singapore trip and how he’d taken home a passed out Jungkook on the night of his birthday. 

“Well, there was a party,” he responds. “There always is, but I passed up on it. I didn’t want to feel out of sorts tonight. There’ll be a lot of new faces and I don’t wanna mess up.”

“Oh, you won’t. You’ve been doing really well, Mr. Jeon. And that’s me being honest.”

“Why wouldn’t you be?” He arches an eyebrow. “Would you tell me otherwise?” 

“Well, the me of now, would. The me of a few months ago would want to but wouldn’t.” 

Jungkook dwells on your answer. “Hmm. What changed, then?”

“I got used to you.” 

He meets your gaze and somehow it feels too long. You don’t really know what prompted you to say it but you felt a little bold, a little too honest.

“In what sense?” he wonders, turning away now.

“I’d say I got used to the mood swings but then again, they haven’t been intense compared to those first few weeks,” you admit. “But surprisingly, it’s the calmness I’ve become accustomed to. And the seriousness and occasional zoning out, but also, the…”

Care, you want to say. Or the thoughtfulness. 

“Consideration,” you say instead. 

Jungkook’s throat dries up as he finds the words to say. He’s now afraid to look at you because he might give in and say something he’ll regret. He’s been praised before for his work and his designs, but he supposes that no one’s really complimented him for something he does for other people, specifically for you. Maybe that’s why he thinks he doesn’t deserve it; he’s unsure if he’s really considerate by nature or if he just is towards you. It’s why he brushes it off, insisting he just has his moments.

“But those moments could mean a lot to the one it’s shared with or directed to,” you counter. “Even if it was just once. Or even if it was so trivial that you probably forgot already. But the other person doesn’t. Or they would, but something about that moment stays.”

Jungkook thinks about the moments you’d shown him consideration. Or even care or thoughtfulness, but he wouldn’t word it that way to you. There are the big ones - when you showed your support of the Arts Center to his father, when you calmed him down during that first Board meeting, when you gave him the noodles when he was sick, when you stayed with him during his interview with the magazine publications.

When you stood up to him. When you didn’t quit after that first week.

There are also the small moments - the ginger and lemon tea on Monday mornings when he looks like he’d drank too much the night before, the biscuits you serve with his coffee, the affirming looks during team meetings, the comforting smiles from outside his office when he’s stressed. 

There’s a lot of those you show him, and he realizes now that he remembers each one. 

The silence returns soon after, as you both seem to prefer basking in the soft music that Mr. Ri plays. 

It’s 15 minutes later when you arrive at the venue. You get out of the car and meet Jungkook by his door, surprised when he offers his arm that you take. 

“This is how they do it, right?” He looks at you questioningly.

“Yes,” you chuckle. “It’s a little over-the-top but the hosts treat this like it’s some red carpet event and I just follow what the others do. Bitna says it’s the one time we could feel like proper ladies or something, whatever that means.”

“Hmm, makes sense. I guess I’ll be a proper gentleman, then. Whatever that means.” 

You hold onto him lightly as you both make your way inside. You try to disregard the firmness of his arm and the way it feels under your touch, so you gently let go not long after and clutch onto your purse instead, not wanting to give off the idea that you’re anything more than each other’s dates. You greet the guests and establish your position to those who are unaware in an effort to show that this social event is a work function as well. 

Jungkook talks about the Arts Center when he can, and you mentally take note of certain projects, sites, events, artists, and patrons that are mentioned, quickly typing them on your phone for future reference. He talks to you about them in between flutes of champagne and canapes that are some of the most delicious you’ve ever had.

Jungkook laughs as you down another brie and cranberry bruschetta.

“What? I like fancy food,” you pout.

“Yes, your normal people’s taste buds like fancy food,” he teases. 

It’s a statement you make often and you smile that he now uses it against you.

Your moments of casual ignorance of what’s going on around you are ones you find yourself enjoying too much. You internally sigh every time a guest approaches him, and even more so when you find yourself with a few others and someone stands a little too close, or has his hand linger on your elbow, or whispers something in your ear as if you’re at a bar and the music is too loud, which it isn’t, so there’s really no reason for this son of some business tycoon to be asking you to head outside “to talk.”

“Don’t you have a date?” You ask after he insists. 

“Yeah, some girl,” he shrugs. “She’s kinda boring. Lucky I found you.”

You awkwardly smile, knowing it’s not your place to reject him and make a scene. He looks to be the type who always gets his way and if he doesn’t this time, you’re afraid of how he might take it. 

You don’t budge and call for another flute of champagne instead, finishing it in one gulp that has the man releasing a deep breath in front of you.

“So you’ve been working for the Jeon’s for 8 years, you say?” He speaks again.

You nod, looking around to avoid his eyes.

“That’s quite a long time, yeah? I’m sure I can get you a spot at my company,” he brags. “I mean, we sell luxury cars. That’s way more interesting than buildings and shit.”

“I don’t drive,” you say too quickly. “I mean, I don’t know how to.”

“Perfect. I can teach you then,” he smirks. 

It’s the look that heightens your level of discomfort, and just as you’re about to make some excuse and run away, Jungkook calls your name that has you immediately turning towards him.

“Yes, Mr. Jeon?”

He’s not too far away; he comes closer yet still maintains a bit of a distance. 

“Hoseok’s asking for me but I want to speak to Mr. Saito before he leaves. Can you go to my cousin on my behalf?”

“Of course,” you say, excusing yourself and scurrying away from the scene, sighing in relief at the sight of a familiar pair of faces.

A-yeong gives you a hug and you return it, then you turn to Hoseok and ask what he needs Jungkook for.

“Nothing,” he says. “I didn’t call for him.”

“Oh, okay. Well, he said you did.”

“I haven’t spoken to him since we got here,” Hoseok replies. “You know how this gala goes. So many people to meet. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, just… uh. Well, I just met Mr. Kwon’s son. And let’s just say, I don’t want that to happen again.”

“Oh, ___,” A-yeong sighs, knowing exactly what you mean. “Just stay with us. Or don’t leave Jungkook’s side.” Turning towards the man who’d just arrived, she adds, “stay close to her, okay?”

Jungkook looks at you, his eyes asking a question that you know the answer to but neither of you says anything. 

“I will,” he nods. 

Both of you stay where you are for a while before heading back to your seats for the sit-down dinner. You converse with those at your table, thankful that they’re all decent and entertaining. After that, Jungkook doesn’t leave your side. It almost seems like he’s your date rather than the other way around, but you appreciate his presence, especially when he calls your attention once you start looking uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry,” you sigh. “I just… I just get a little uneasy when people I don’t know get too close.”

“I understand. I’m the same,” he says, prompting you to look at him. “But I just feel uncomfortable, not unsafe. There’s a difference. And it’s not okay if that’s how they make you feel.”

He knew without you saying the words. It takes you back to that night at the restaurant with Hajoon and how Jungkook had looked the most guilty he’d ever been when you said that his staring made you feel uncomfortable. You supposed then that it was mostly because he thought he was causing a rift between you and Hajoon but you realize now that it was more than that. For all that Jungkook is, you’ve come to see that there are things he can’t stand himself doing; deliberately making you feel unsafe is definitely one of them. Perhaps it’s why at this moment, you feel the exact opposite being around him. 

And that’s how the rest of the night goes. He stays close but when he’s caught up in a conversation he can’t get out of, he gives you that look to remind you that it’s okay to step away, that you have the ability to remove yourself from a situation you don’t feel good being in. And you do, and the worry you used to have about being a mere assistant fades away. You never thought that one Jeon Jungkook would give you the permission to do that.

You’re seated on a chair some time later, the hours of walking in your high heels taking its toll on you. You wave to Hoseok and A-yeong, no longer having the energy to walk up to them for a proper goodbye. You sigh to yourself, feeling the tiredness slowly overtake you. It was still a good night, but it took a lot of energy from you, too. 

“Hey,” you hear Jungkook call out. 

You turn to him, still looking handsome as he stands nearby, his hands in his pockets as he mirrors your exhaustion.

“Ready to head home?” He asks.

“Yes,” you say too quickly, earning you a laugh. 

You stand up, limping only a tiny bit, but you think Jungkook notices, as he offers his arm just like he did at the start of the night.

“This is what a proper gentleman does, right?” He asks. 

“I suppose. Although I might say, Mr. Jeon, that’s what you were the entire time. So thank you.”

Jungkook nods in response, unsure how to receive your gratitude. He knows what you mean, as the first sign of your discomfort had him looking at you constantly. He was worried all night but he supposes there’s no reason to feel that way now, as your faint smile just signifies that you’re tired more than anything. 

For the short moment it takes for you to walk closer to him, he basks in your beauty once more. The night will be over soon, and he’s glad he could give you some reprieve this time. He tries not to lose it when you tighten your grip on his arm for support though, but that’s something he can think about later on. 

The walk to the car isn’t that long and you let go of him eventually. You head towards the other door then enter, the space in between reminding him of where you both belong - on either side of a line, one that he shouldn’t think of crossing.

You sink into your seat, fighting the urge to curl your body and take a nap, so you sit up straight and hold yourself together after once again feeling Jungkook’s arm under your touch. Most of the alcohol has left your system but perhaps not enough, as you boldly look at him and smile in appreciation. He returns it, perhaps knowing why you are.

You look out the window, appreciating Seoul’s night sky, until the vision starts getting unclear, as the rain falls steadily on the window. The tapping of the droplets on the glass is a sound you’ve come to appreciate, among other things that you used to be terrified of. 

There’s just this calmness, as if the rain is greeting you, accompanying you in your thoughts. But the sound of the radio getting louder disrupts that a little bit, and in looking at Mr. Ri in question only to find him glancing at the rearview mirror to see the man next to you, do you realize why he’s doing so.

Jungkook’s demeanor has changed, a complete 180 to how he looked not long ago when he seemed satisfied, fulfilled, almost proud of himself for surviving the night. He’s now cross-legged and cross-armed, with his eyes closed and jaws clenched, as if he’s trying to hold himself together. Or trying his best to drown out the sound of the rain, the way Mr. Ri is trying to do for him.

Your face falls at the sight. You’ve seen Jungkook stressed and angry and disappointed; you’ve seen him anxious, too, but this is different. There’s a bit of fear in there, and with the way he flinches and how he’s clutching onto his arms, you know this comes from somewhere and this was caused by something. If it’s anything similar to what you know, then this was because of something painful.

You want to reach out to him but you know you shouldn’t. You helplessly look back on the road then glance at Jungkook every few seconds as the rain continues. It doesn’t seem like it will be a terrible downpour but it’s stronger than usual. 

You try to remember instances in the past where he’d acted this way. A few come to mind, and you think now there’s a reason why he becomes uneasy when it starts to drizzle. That happened the other week while you were on a site visit with him for a small project, but you hadn’t thought much of it, given that he was on his fourth cup of coffee on the way there. 

But right now, you wish there was something more you could do; anything is better than nothing. But you feel constrained - by the distance, by your position, by his boundaries that seem to always be there.

By some miracle, the rain weakens, and it’s stopped by the time you arrive at Jungkook’s apartment building. The car halts and with him still in the same position, you think he probably doesn’t realize he’s home. 

“Mr. Jeon,” you say softly, gently tapping his arm to get his attention. “We’ve reached your place. And the rain has stopped. It’s… it’s okay to open your eyes now.”

It takes a few seconds but he takes a deep breath, opens his eyes, then looks around. It’s just droplets frozen in time on his window and he sighs in relief. Somehow the assurance that he’s okay means something to you this time; you hate to think of what burden he carries that he hides away.

He opens the door, and there’s a bit of disappointment you feel when he closes it and leaves without a goodbye. You suppose he just wants to get to his place immediately and rush to safety. But you don’t want to intrude, not if distance is what he needs, so  you settle with just watching him walk away. 

But then he turns around, and with that bit of boldness left in your body, you open the window and give him another smile. You wish he feels the tenderness in it; you wish somehow it’s enough to let him know that you understand, and that he’s not alone. 

“Good night,” you manage to say, and he hears it despite the distance.

“Good night, ___. And thank you.”

It’s the use of your name. It’s the softness of his smile and the words of gratitude. It’s the way he lingers as the car starts to drive away and you’re left watching him even from afar. 

It lets you know that he knows. And it’s the reason why you sleep soundly that night and why for the first time since you’ve met him, you can’t wait to see him again. 

Series Masterlist

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[serenedash]

Let's talk khux gameplay and plot,

imo I think part of khux's story telling and the impact of the story gets lost now that the game is defunct. I always thought people didn't appreciate how the gameplay and the mechanics actually had an impact on the story and while that impact become virtually nonexistent later on, I always thought it made the story far more engaging when the game was just chi/unchained chi and also the English translation didn't do it too well ngl

Anyway what I'm specifically talking about is the medal system. Also I feel like the whole bangle thing wasn't explained well in game but really it just comes down to leveling up medals specifically. If you never played khux, you equip medals to your keyblades and they doa specific attack and to level them up you combine multiple of the same medal and you could see how leveled up a medal is by the amount of yellow dots next to it and, in JP at least, this was called "guilt" and like wow that name fucking slaps. And when nightmare chirithy reveals the player has been collecting darkness this whole time thru the medal system, you have literal guilt on your conscious. You are guilty of collecting darkness and negative emotions like guilt to use for your own power. And in Back Cover when the foretellers are made aware of this, there's no stopping it and ofc the player can't stop either, they HAVE to get stronger, you literally have to keep playing the game,

Another part of the game that I appreciated is the way the name changes factored into the game; chi was the original "world line" that the dandelions existed in and at first unchained chi had come off as just a remake but really what we're playing is the continuation, where the player and the dandelions are now in this unchained state/new world line and they're reliving their time as wielders but now without the war/"dark" memories and finally when they relive everything and get back to the "present," they continue on after into "union cross" which I feel like. wasn't explained well in game that much tbh but if you didn't understand what that meant in game, it was just to say that unions didn't matter anymore and they were all dandelions so the unions. when the unions are crossed.

and tbh the experience of playing this game in real time also added to the experience a lot and the impact of the story especially with a player insert character. I think the most effective use of this game being played in real time was Strelitzia. Now in the english version, everything with Strelitzia was all one update and the english ver was behind so honestly they had to do catch up they couldn't really afford to lag behind. But in JP, which most khux fans kept up with using fan translations, Strelitzia's introduction and her death happened about a month apart so it gave the players time to actualyl grow attached to her and THEN we get crushed. You can easily pin point the exact time certain khux fan art was drawn bc in a group drawing of the dandelions Strelitzia is there instead of Lauriam since he was only introduced after her death

and another thing! It only became apparent by the end of the game but khux actually takes place over the course of about 4 years. which is fucking insane. because the dandelions were stuck in the data for 4 years and didn't know it until the glitches started. and the game ran for roughly the same amount of time and we weren't even aware of that either until the glitches! ("why 4 years" there are cutscenes that literally say "4 years ago" so yeah girl what the fuck haha)

Anyway yeah this was just me rambling I think about this so much all the time can you tell. I hope missing link does something like this too tbh it makes it more fun and makes it feel that your actions as the player actually have impact on the story

[alexxncl]

‼️NIGHTBRINGER HDD CH. 3 SPOILERS‼️

masterlist | events | ch. 2 | ch. 4.1 | ch. 4.2

mc stop being the most important person ever: challenge impossible

damn is this how the boys acted before they got to the devildom the first time ??? i see why they love mc so much, especially lucifer. family is the most important thing to him, it's why he acts the way he does and it's why the celestial war happened in the first place. being clouded with this much tension as a family had to have been extremely emotionally strenuous for him, aside from the frustration that comes from rowdy younger siblings

and it was obviously just as bad for his little brothers. they couldnt understand why lucifer was pulling away from them so much. and caused trouble to get any kind of attention from him, to keep him from holing himself up in his room and drowning himself in paperwork

it probably especially hurt mammon to see lucifer like this. his big brother who wants afraid of anything suddenly afraid of addressing his own feelings and fears of his family falling apart

i would like to let it be known that i was not AT ALL being serious when i picked the "can't we talk it out" option...why are we talking to a clump of glass petals ??

why am i even questioning anything that happens in this game anymore ????

BYE THIS IS SO UNSERIOUS i love it here. not obey me pulling a spiderman no way home and acting like i wouldn't catch on

and mc asking "can't we just gang up on the bitch" has to be the FUNNIEST thing ever i love them 🫶🏽 just like me fr

mammon would literally never say that. not those words at least. he respects and looks up to lucifer way too much to that. and satan wouldn't say that. the old satan would say what mammon said if we're being honest...and the new him would find a more respectful and less snippy way to say it while still getting his point across

every almost negative vision is really just lucifer's nightmare. not having the love or care or mutual respect that families are built upon is like nit having a family at all. we already know how luci feels about family. like i get that it's supposed to be funny but when you think about it in context with the game's events, this is actually really sad ???

this is also SEVERELY ooc. like i'm not crazy right ??? mammon does not use his powers like that for something as petty as a lackluster insult, and satan would come up with a much better insult than that

all jokes aside, i couldn't ever see the boys acting like this. ever. under any circumstance. even early on in the 1st game, it wasn't this bad. they butted heads and were emotionally constipated, but they still acted like brothers

i feel like the flower is showing them the worst versions of themselves, not just the way things would be without mc. bc things were relatively ok without them before. they werent the best, but they survived and didn't kill each other for millenia before mc came into the picture

fighting back the urge to go on yet another big brother mammon tangent...fighting hard

...no way they used the power of friendship to fix the situation AGAIN

now i didn't trust or particularly care for raphael in the og game, but that's mainly bc of the way he was talked about by the characters well before his appearance and the fact that he seemed standoffish. i like this raphael, and i want more

but depending on where we are in the timeline and which timeline we're in, this could be michael

oh they big mad

satan being angry is a no brainer

but beel? he's the textbook definition of a gentle giant. a himbo if you will. he goes out of his way to be gentle with everyone and everything that comes his way because he knows his strength and how easy it is for him to overuse it on accident

baby don't play when it comes to his family. just like his big brothers

[dogbunni]

[begins coughing like a cat about to throw up a furball] [spits up several nendo headcanons and then looks at u proudly]

-nendo collects hot wheels. I have no justification beyond this except that I also collect hot wheels and I think we'd have that in common. if he was real I would take nendo to a toy shop to look at all the hot wheels. just stand there and observe them for an uncomfortably long time. my friends aren't deeply autistic enough to do this with me so I can never observe the little cars for long enough before making a purchase :(

-nendo trans ally #1

-nendo has no idea what his sexuality is but not in a confused/questioning way, in a "I have never thought about it longer than 1 second" way. he likes who he likes and has no thoughts beyond that. he is label-less in a [shrugs shoulders] way. (saiki is also label-less but in a "fuck you" kind of way)

-nendo loves rollercoasters and watches weird essay length youtube videos about theme parks and animatronics. its a hobby that deeply disturbs everyone around him bc this guy cannot do basic math but he can and will channel the spirit of akechi rambling about defunct animatronics. sometimes he shows saiki pictures of animatronics in late stages of decay in horrible pitch black nightmare settings and saiki reacts as if nendo has placed a live cockroach in his lap.

-he has a condiment problem. steals sauce packets from restaurants with diagnosable compulsion.

-he doesn't Get memes. everyone has tried and failed to show nendo a meme. it's like trying to show your mother a funny picture and she holds the phone as far away from her face as she can and then stares at it for way too long before silently handing it back. he just doesn't Get It.

-hes like, really good at making memes though. he will just absently turn a phrase or take an image so absurd that everyone is still saying and reposting and reacting with it years down the line. he has no idea that he has this power

-he feeds stray cats and makes little shelters for them outdoors <3

-nendo and kaido roleplay together sometimes. I'm talking like, warrior cats roleplay. sometimes dark reunion but kaido gets pissy if nendo messes up The Lore. nendo calls it "playing pretend" bc he has no concept of cringe culture and kaido dies inside every time

-he manages to forget his own birthday. every year. saiki remembers though, and it's the one and only day he will ask if nendo wants to get ramen with him, instead of the other way around. it gets to the point that saiki asks if nendo wants ramen, and he says "what, is it my birthday ahaha" and saiki is just like. you goddamn idiot. good grief.

-last time I did one of these I said that nendo loves cute things like sanrio plushies and holds them so gently. well I see that and I am correct, but I raise you nendo thinking that SAIKI is the cutest thing he's ever seen. something about the pink hair and glasses and the little limiter bubbles on his head and his purple eyes and little frowny eyebrows- nendo wants to. hold gently. sometimes he just grabs saiki by the shoulders and stares at him blank in the face and saiki is like [nervously] "what the fuck? what the fuck????"

-he and aiura actually get along weirdly well. they're unhinged in similar flavours and it gets saiki's blood pressure up. he tries at all costs to keep them away from each other. their singular brain cells cancel each other out on sight.

-akechi makes nendo's brain hurt a little. he just can't process all of akechi's akechi-ness and it makes him feel dumb. he's fine with being dumb most of the time but akechi just makes him feel a little self conscious for some reason. (definitely not because he's jealous that akechi was friends with saiki first)

-he still likes the funny lil guy though. akechi's the only one who will enthuse with him about rollercoasters and he values those talks. so much.

-toritsuka is afraid of nendo for some reason. no one is sure why but nendo LOVES it. he's always trying to jump out and scare him. saiki supports nendo in this endeavour ardently. toritsuka suffers.

-nendo falls down the weirdest tiktok rabbit holes. it got so bad once that they got teruhashi to distract him while kuboyasu lifted his phone and deleted the app off of it. it took nendo several months to realise he could redownload it.

[amethystina]

hello dear, hope you're doing well physically & mentally. lots of hugs for you!

i've been wondering about the physical touch in Gahan's dynamic especially. we all know how much physical abuse Yohan has gone through in his childhood, the kidnapping by Sunah, him willingly explode a whole ass room with bombs with him inside it too but pushing away his loved one out.

now compare to Gaon. this Bambi has better experience with physical touch in his life seeing as how he's comfortable leaning to Soohyun seeking comfort while grieving for the loss of his parents. reaching out to Yohan so easily when he sees Yohan woke up from a nightmare. how he reaches for Kkomi and put her on his lap, the lovely and respectful interaction with Elijah.

I always have this thought in my head that it would be tricky for them to have this physical touch without one misunderstood the meaning of one's action. personally i bounced back and forth of the idea Yohan can manipulate and charm ppl with his sex prowess. just because he knows being seduction and sex goes hand in hand with manipulation. It does seem like Yohan can be the type to do especially that the way he gazes at Gaon & Sunah. But we all know he has brother complex lol, while with Sunah he can get the rush of feeling powerful having someone around his level to play with. Either that idea or I think Yohan never has the chance to explore sex bcs it's too much physical touches and too much emotional investment in such a short period of time. Perhaps he can have sex while his sex partner is tied up, not touching Yohan but he's the one who has control to touch them, hence why the kinky dom Yohan exist. So i think domestic touches will be like taming stray or feral creatures. It would take a long time and patience on both sides to be in the safe space and trust.

now.. wdyt Gahan would be in if they were already in a romantic relationship. How would they interact? Who would initiate what? What difference would it be for them in domestic/ innocent interactions and in bed? I would like to know your thoughts on this one. I wish I can pour my detailed thoughts for this but i'm afraid to scare you off with my long-ass paragraphs hahaha it's been a while since I have conversations analyzing character's personality and their depths, just geeking out about them and it can be intense and intimidating for people if I pour all my thoughts out for these shit lol

I wish you well! Take your time on your recovery & in writing, we'll always be here for you!

I'm currently in pain from shoveling too much snow but, other than that, I'm pretty okay. Thank you for asking 💜

Physical touch is a very fascinating subject when it comes to these two, isn't it? Probably because there's so much tension between them.

Anyhow! I actually think that Yo Han has had a lot of sex but, like, only with the right people? He may have been abused as a child (and definitely has trauma and trust issues because of it) but he's also a very clever and intuitive man. And he'd know how to find partners he can have casual, enthusiastic, and fun sex with. Like, some random woman or man he meets at a bar who thinks he's hot? Definitely. Some random woman or man he meets in a professional setting who is clearly trying to gain something from having sex with him? Absolutely not.

Having sex is a very intimate act in some ways, but exactly how intimate depends a lot on the partner, the setting, and the circumstances. Yo Han would only go for people he's not feeling threatened by or knows he can control without exerting too much effort. But I also think he'd enjoy the challenge of wooing people. Like, how fast can he make this woman shed her clothes? What should he say to make this man swoon? Flirting would be a game for him, too, but "winning" just means he and the other person get to have sex so it's actually pretty harmless.

And I think he'd be fine doing it with strangers and letting them touch him. Because he doesn't actually seem averse to touch in the drama? Unused to it, yes — especially the tender kind — but not scared of or uncomfortable with it. He puts himself and his body through a lot, yes, but never in a reckless or self-destructive way. More often than not, he knows exactly what the risks are and deems them worth whatever payoff comes at the end (unlike Ga On who just... throws himself into danger without much thought).

One of the few (if not the only time) Yo Han seems genuinely scared of physical touch is when Ga On tries to comfort him after his nightmare. Which says a lot, I think. He's more scared of a touch meant to soothe than one meant to hurt, since he doesn't want to show weakness. He doesn't know how he will react to a touch like that and would therefore rather push it away.

But he doesn't even flinch when Sun Ah raises a hand to slap him, which is definitely a situation where some (but not all) who have been abused in the past would react. So, clearly, he's not as traumatised as he could have been, or has learned to control it enough for it not to show too much. To me, Yo Han doesn't seem averse to casual touching and does it quite a lot himself, like towing Ga On around at the gala, lightly patting Lawyer Ko's arm, offering his arm to Jin Joo at the other gala etc.

And I personally don't think there will be all that many misunderstandings between him and Ga On as to what a certain touch means? They both seem way too smart for that? There might still be general misunderstandings, of course, but not when it comes to that. If nothing else, the intent behind touches is something Yo Han had to learn long ago because you can't manipulate people only using sexual prowess. He needs more than one method and that means recognising what different touches mean, when to give them etc.

My personal headcanon for Yo Han is that he has no trouble using his sex appeal to manipulate when appropriate, but his strength lies in how he adapts to the situation, sometimes being kind and understanding, sometimes being firm and commanding, and, sometimes, being flirty and sensual.

The way he prefers to have sex is for fun, though, and he enjoys it a lot with the right people. But he'd never do it if he felt uncomfortable or threatened by his partner, and he's good enough at reading people that he'd know the other person's intentions long before the actual sex happens. So, for example, I don't think he'd ever want to have sex with Sun Ah even if he could tie her up. He'd be too suspicious to actually enjoy it xD

To me, Yo Han is the kind of man who has a lot of trauma, but has also worked a lot on overcoming said trauma. If he did so in a healthy way I will leave unsaid, but I don't think he'd allow himself to be wary of other people's touch. I think Yo Han would be frustrated by his own limitations if he could only have sex with people while they're tied up, simply because he's uncomfortable with them touching him. That's too big of a weakness — something someone could exploit. And he'd train that out of himself as soon as possible. His whole thing is that he's unshakeable and impenetrable and that's a choice — something he's putting effort into being. And so I, personally, can't see him allowing himself to have that kind of "flaw."

As a friend of mine said: "He's a man even more in control of himself than he is others."

That said, I think he enjoys tying people up because it gives him added control and makes it more fun to play with his victims partners. So I'm all for Dom!Yo Han — he is one in every fic I've written so far — I just think he does that because he likes it, not because it's the only way he can have sex.

And, to be entirely honest with you? I don't think Yo Han needs to tie people up in order to control them in the bedroom. I'm pretty sure that man can make his partners do pretty much anything he wants them to, without using a single tool or restraint. Because that is the kind of Dom he is.

ANYHOW. To your questions! (boy did I get derailed there for a while)

Ga On is definitely the cuddly one. Like, once he gets comfortable, he's the one who gives and asks for hugs, will walk up behind Yo Han and wrap his arms around him, snuggle up on the couch, put his head in Yo Han's lap etc. Because I definitely agree with you that the casual, domestic touches will be more difficult for Yo Han. He's used to giving some of them, like pats on the shoulder, a supportive hand, fixing Ga On's clothes — practical things. But the ones that are just because? Clearly, that's out of his wheelhouse and he's too prideful to ask for them.

Again, not because he's broken, scared, or doesn't understand them, but simply because he's not used to them. And he doesn't like feeling insecure or appearing weak, so he wouldn't risk asking and making a mistake.

So it'll fall upon Ga On to offer them, which he of course does. He's a pretty physical person with the people he trusts, provided that politeness and such allows it. Like, clearly, one of the reasons why Ga On doesn't touch Yo Han much in the drama is due to the workplace hierarchy, the fact that Yo Han is older (and it's considered rude to touch someone older without their permission), and just Yo Han's overall... Yo Han-ness. But once Ga On gets free rein?

Yo Han won't know what hit him.

But it'll take time for them to get used to it, yes. Like, just teaching Yo Han how to return casual hugs that aren't in a life-or-death situation is going to take a while. But he'll get used to it eventually and while I don't think he'll ever be the one to initiate certain things — like the more cuddly hugs that might make him look clingy — he'd always reciprocate when Ga On does.

Yo Han is a little too prideful to ask for cuddles, but he'll graciously agree to them when Ga On asks him to give them.

(He and Komi have that in common, I guess)

As for sex, that depends? I think they can both initiate it, but Yo Han enjoys it more when Ga On does so, just because he likes seeing Ga On horny and desperate xD Yo Han is definitely the one in charge, though. That's not to say that Ga On can't snatch control from him or throw him off-balance from time to time, but probably only during brief moments when he's being particularly cheeky and bratty. I think they both enjoy the push-and-pull — the fact that Ga On challenges Yo Han is a part of the thrill — but are more comfortable when Yo Han is in control.

Especially since Yo Han is very good at it.

All that said, I do think — and this might be an unpopular and scandalous opinion — that Yo Han could, eventually, let Ga On top him. But we're talking years down the line, when they're so comfortable with each other that there are no secrets or doubts. Because, yes, Yo Han is a man who prides himself on having control but, eventually, he's also going to realise that having control and having power isn't necessarily the same thing. And being in charge and having control isn't necessarily the same thing, either. Ga On has a tremendous amount of power over Yo Han despite not being in charge or in control the majority of the time.

I mean, there's a reason why they say that the sub is the one with the real power since they're the ones willingly handing it over to someone else. And if they can give it, they can also revoke that privilege — and there is absolutely nothing the Dom can do about that. In that situation, the Dom is, quite literally, powerless.

And I think, especially as he gets older and softer, Yo Han would realize that trusting Ga On to top him is, in fact, a sign of his own strength. And I don't mean that in a "real men know how to bottom" kind of way. But in a "I love this man and I trust him and myself enough to let him have this power over me because that, in itself, means I have power."

But, again, that's several years into their relationship and 99,9% of the time, Yo Han is the one topping. But, every once in a while, Ga On can be the one in charge. As a treat.

... I may have gotten off track again.

But I'd say that's about the gist of it? There are, of course, more specific examples and details, too.

Yo Han is definitely the one doing most of the dirty talk, but Ga On will not hesitate to use his doe-eyes to his advantage and say the most kinky, outrageous things sometimes, just for the pleasure of watching Yo Han bluescreen. I also think that Yo Han will develop a habit of burrowing his nose in Ga On's hair when they're hugging/cuddling. And, as I've mentioned in a previous post, Yo Han is the little spoon 90% of the time. I also think that Ga On is going to be pretty shy and prudish when it comes to talking about sex and anything relating to it (at least at the beginning), but kinky as fuck when it comes to the actual acts. Like, he can't say "cock" without wincing, but he'll gladly let Yo Han tie him up and fuck him so roughly and thoroughly he's covered in bruises afterwards.

I really could go on but then we'd be here forever and I have work tomorrow x'D

So I'm hoping you got something out of this long rant! Thank you so much for the ask! I admit that I don't often spend time thinking about fictional characters' sex lives, but I apparently have a lot of opinions regardless. Though, to be honest, I think Yo Han and Ga On is the couple where I've had to think about it the most, since physical closeness (of both the sexual and more innocent kind) is extremely important for their dynamic. So yeah.

Take care, darling! 💜

[pumpkinstrawbrew]

ţ̴̧̛͓̬̼̼̮̟̟̟͖͂̍̎̆͑̄̍̔͝͝r̶̰̰̠̭͍̠͆̍ư̵͚̻̗̖̘̹͈̳̺̋̐̈̂͌̓͋̓̃̈́͊̚s̶̢̳̬̝̯̳̯̾̂̽͝ẗ̷͈̣̦̖̩̻̰̮̰̮̥̟̝͒̋̏͑́͜ ̷̧̜͚̦͈̞̊̀̃̈́̈́̿̉̀̚͝m̸̢̨͓̗͕̮͍̼͉̯̻͔̘̍̌͂̊́̿͂̂͝ͅe̸̡̟̙̯̰͓̗̮͉͈͂̌̉͂́̏.̴̢̙̋́̀͛͂͝ ̴͖̤̯̪͈̠̥̯́̍̍

...

(the scarecrow meets bat-mite! bc it just smth that needs to happen lol. i was wondering for a while what crane might have done with use of bat-mite's reality bending powers. the joker used it to repeatedly murder bruce over an' over, till he actually broke him. but what about jon? an' what if instead of possessing a scrap of bat-mite's power, he pretty much manipulated him into doing his bidings? bat-mite generally is a very naive creature. he helped the bad guys by accident before. who said that crane can't find a way to make him do that again. esp if bat-mite might get all sad an' whiny about batman once again telling him to not get into his way.

also there is smth about one batman obssessed freak teaming up with another, where one party is unintentianally sadistic an' inconsiderate *bat-mite* an' the other is actually well-aware about what they're doing. perhaps, jon will put it this way to bat-mite : that if he wants his hero to evolve, he needs to put him through hardships of mental nature. an' who is better at this, than crane? an' who can be more helpful in this experiment, than bat-mite, who can twist reality in the ways he sees fit? they'd make one dream *nightmare fuel* team.

there is some irony in this too. batman's biggest fan is also his biggest enemy in a way. at some point, bat-mite literally destroyed universe with other similiar creature *forgot his name* just out of spite lol. or by accident? i don't really remember which one it was, but the point still stands. once jonathan will get a sniff of the fact, that not only this extremely powerful being is guidable, but that it's also doesn't understand human's limits…

hm, bruce be in for a trip, won't he?

tbh, part of me wants to draw batman with scarecrow-mite *scare-mite?*, bc i'm pretty sure that we saw that tiny straw creature in some bat-mite comic before. kinda be funny for them to also 'team-up'. i wonder what scare-mite's agenda is, considering how everything in mite's world is generally random an' hella goofy lol. an' then how strong is he? can he do all the same stuff, that bat-mite does, or it's different per creature? so many questions, esp if compared to bat-mite, that one will actually be somewhat well-behaved.)

[rhine-gold-archive]

But yeah, speaking of Diluc Not Being Great At Secret Identities, it really doesn’t take too much to figure out Diluc is a Darknight hero once you put two and two together 

Like there’s def a conspiracy group of Mond guys meeting up in a tavern and trying to figure out the identity of the Darknight hero and the facts they have are:

Batman is pyro (not only you CANNOT convince me Diluc’s giant flame bird could stay unnoticed, but even his new skin says his enemies remember flashes of red in their nightmares. Ppl know he’s pyro.)

To keep up this scale of operation for that long, Batman would need both military training AND consistent financial support and intelligence network

Their first suspect is Amber, bc she’s pyro, and she works for the Knights, a military organization, so she has both combat training and resources. There’s a lot of heated debates about whether she’s strong enough to pull it off, with one passionate Amber main insisting that she can solo whatever she wants, but then one time during one of the Batman Incidents she was in public on a date with Eula in Good Hunter, so they have to move on from her. And the next logical option is Diluc, a former Knight Captain, so he can fight, and a rich bitch, so he has resources. 

 So like one evening Kaeya rolls up to Diluc grinning like he won a lottery and goes hey guess what, these guys in the corner told me they think you’re a darknight hero and they asked me if it’s true.

“And what did you say?”

“Why, I said yes, of course, you can’t expect me to lie to the honorable citizens of Mondstadt.”

And ofc, Kaeya, being famously persuasive, could’ve talked them out of it, but he also has a terminal case of the shithead younger sibling energy, which even normally makes him mischievous bordering on insufferable, but in case of his older brother, he can only help in the most troll-ish way possible.

So instead he starts taking Klee on the walks in the evening. They go around the Knights headquarters, fight imaginary abyss mages and fatui, a couple of bushes are unfortunately set on fire, but Klee loves it. And, being an open and sociable child that she is, she starts telling people that Kaeya said she needs to do her duty in protecting the people of Mondstadt, which is why they go on night patrols and fight the bad guys. 

The Batman conspiracy guys get wind of that, then in the tavern they hear that one guy who is like this little girl in red is the strongest fighter in Mond, I’ve seen her level mountains. And it clicks. The most powerful pyro in town, and that shady Cavalry Captain, who is actually a Spymaster of the knights, spends a lot of time with her, desite not seeming like a child-loving type?? Obviously he’s Nick Fury-ing her into being a Batman and he agreed that Diluc is darknight hero to divert their attention.

Diluc’s ass is technically off the hook, but he hates every second of it

Jean receives anonymous letters and is like Kaeya, why do I have people demanding to stop you from using child soldiers

[lollytea]

I love your idea of super pda huntlow bc it goes nicely with the idea of “very behind the doors, make sure no one is watching, send the palismen to play, if someone catches us it’s all over” kind of kisses I think they had in the human realm. Of course, it’s not a shame from each other but the guilt of like “hey this isn’t the time for this, we need to focus and be the strong ones bc if we fall apart then everyone else does too” but also “we’re teens and titan help me bc you’re literally the cutest person I’ve ever been attracted to and a quick peck won’t hurt if no one finds out”.

Hahaaaaa how I so badly love that trope that's like

"We shouldn't"

"I know....but I'd like to..."

"....okay."

Love to put it in a fic at some point. Maybe soon.

I don't imagine a lot of romantic intimacy happened between them while they were in the Human Realm. At least not outside of flirting. Nothing physical is what I'm saying. Mostly because of the body language of the pinky scene. Its such a tentative, scared, inexperienced offer of affection that it leads me to believe that they never would have done anything more than that before.

HOWEVER I still see your visions. I love entertaining visions. And this is a very fun vision to entertain.

I think the two of them are dealing with their situation in very different ways. It's shown in TTT that Hunter seems to take a bit of guilt in focusing on anything that's not relevant to getting them back home, and worse, actually enjoying it. How can he have fun at a time like this, know? That's his mindset.

Meanwhile Willow seems to be focusing very heavily on her own distractions so she doesn't fall apart, and also keeping the calm, fun, goofy optimistic atmosphere so her friends don't fall into the depths of despair.

Hunter is a nice distraction. He's very sweet and very pretty. And when she's feeling rattled from nightmares of her Dads' dead bodies, she likes to sit with Hunter and listen to him talk about whatever silly shit he's obsessed with this week. It's a lot healthier than sneaking some of Camila's wine.

Hunter is picking up on some signals from Willow but he's too scared to ask her upfront if she's doing what he thinks she's doing. It would be mortifying if she said no. And since they live in the same house, he wouldn't be able to hide.

But he's pretty sure she wants to kiss him. And he's pretty sure he wants to kiss her too. But if he did, his focus on their current mission would be in shambles.

But also he's like...very weak willed when it comes to Willow. It doesn't take much prodding. The moment she asks ("Can I kiss you? Sorry...that came out of nowhere. You just look very kissable right now") all of his walls crumble and he's silently nodding.

Just a little kiss. That's all it is. It's not like it's all that important.

Even tho they can NOT let anybody else know.

I like thoughts about the two oldest characters who do everything in their power to be safe, comforting figures to the others, just having a moment to be young and scared together.

[sardonic-sprite]

Ok ok so @quotidian-oblivion has been (lovingly) pestering me to make something of my/our comment thread on "bane" where we were talking about the whole "Ra's wants tim's babies" thing, and what if that actually happened, so here it is 😂 (tw for referenced rape)

So obviously this could only happen if Cass didn't save Tim from Ra's's half-sister so. Hella angst

Poor Cass is devastated that she was too late to stop it. She blames herself, even tho everyone tells it her its no one's fault but Ra's and his sister. She becomes ridiculously protective of tim in response, even well beyond the time she forgives herself

Dick clings to Tim for an entire day when he finds out, trying not to feel rain on his skin, promising it'll be ok someday, that he's there, he'll do anything he can. He's guilty too, wishing he'd been in better contact, gone with Tim, done anything that could have spared him Dick’s nightmares

Damian’s world has shattered. Grandfather... does not want Damian. As his heir. He wants a previously nonexistent child. DRAKE's child. And he has stooped to the lowest low to get it. The carefully built family around Damian is in mourning for something he doesn't fully understand, and Drake now flinches when Damian, in what was supposed to be a peace offering, calls him "Timothy"

Steph and Tim make up as friends when she comes to support him with the shock of knowing that he has (will have, bc they are NOT leaving it with Ra's) a child now that he was not ready for. She doesn't touch him once while she's there, stays at arm's length, and that, Tim thinks, is what makes the visit feel as comforting as a hug

Jason is horrorstruck and breaks out of the rage/aggression and channels it towards hunting down League assassins bc what the fuck how DARE ra's? Tim was fucking 17 and Jason does not care how powerful this bastard is, he's going the FUCK down because NOBODY messes with Jason's baby brother but Jason himself

Barbara is ranting about how Ra's cant even know the genetics are going to fucking WORK how he wants them to, but breaks off abruptly as Tim's eyes well up, changing to enumerating all the baby things she's ordered and telling the dumb science jokes on the onesies because she NEEDS to see Tim laugh

Alfred LOOKS composed but every night he grips that shotgun real tight and has to remind himself that these kids need him, he can't risk himself for vengeance, what matters is Master Tim and the new little master or miss to be. He asks Tim privately if he'd like to choose a room to be the child's nursery. Tim doesnt know, but that's ok, dear boy, that's ok.

Bruce comes home and instead of the joy of reunion (or well, after it) has to struggle not to cry bc God his poor little boy... Damian was a shock too but at least Bruce and Talia loved each other. At least Bruce fucking consented. At least bruce was a goddamn adult. He doesnt think he will ever be rid of the guilt that Tim only found his way to Ra's by looking for Bruce

And Tim himself...

He can't go underground, at all. He redesigns his costume so that he can only unfasten it with a biometric lock, and doesn't tell anyone where it is except Alfred (medical emergencies). Some days, he can't look the girls in the eyes. Some days, he can't look at them at all, not without memories of things he isn't supposed to have seen or. Or felt. He's kidnapped as Red Robin once and chained to the wall, and he dissociates until someone (Jason this time, and who'd have believed THAT a year ago?) comes to save him. He can't get a good night's sleep anymore, not that he ever could but still

He feels paralyzed. There is no putting this off, no playing for time, nothing. They were able to confirm that Ra's's sister IS pregnant, and he knows damn well it's his, and nature waits for no one. In less than nine months now there's going to be a squalling, breathing, tiny, fragile, entire child, and unless he steps in, Ra's is going to raise it. Which means torturing it into a killer.

Every part of Tim screams NO

So they use those months to plan. How do they get in, how do they get out, WHEN is this supposed to happen because they can't well kidnap the child from the delivery room, the poor thing has to be in some kind of stable health, they need to KNOW these things, and thats when Bruce gets a call

Because Talia is fucking livid. She knows Ra's is an asshole, that's why she got Damian to Bruce, but this was a whole new low, her goddamn AUNT pregnant by her teenage non consenting STEPSON? She can't stop that any more than the others now, but she knows what she CAN stop: another tiny child being twisted and corrupted by this absolute monster. They need a spy, right? Well they got one

So there y'are, Q, the horribly angsty beginnings of this Dad!Tim AU. It doesn’t look pretty right now, but it will slowly get happier bc babies are adorable, dammit.

Edit: Part 2

[teaableu]

feelin down and i just love this blog sm. i was wondering if u had any dtk (or kidstar) hc’s u wanted to share maybe. if not though i hope u have a wonderful day, seeing u on my dash always makes me smile.

OH MY GOD A SOUL EATER ASK?? /POS

i just got a huge serotonin boost tysm anon

YES I DO I JUST GOTTA GO GRAB EM

dtk:

the older Kid gets the less human he seems. Like once he's a full shinigami he gets a whole bunch of power that his dad had that sort of strip away his likeness to humans

going off of ^^ I think Kid's human form is constructed. His true form probably looks more like LD but it's not something he was particularly taught to embody/access so he just sorta stays in his human form

HOWEVER, I really like the idea that Kid just sorta.. generally freaks people out. There's a theory of horror that says monster characters can feel scary just because even though they look it, people can tell they are not quite human. and i think Kid has exactly that effect on people

Kid has regenerative powers because his human form is more of a construct/image than an actual biological organism. he's really made of the same stuff from LD's "cape". so he can't really be killed or severely injured for long, especially as he matures and gets more powerful. I think the only way he can take permanent damage is if his soul itself is affected. Sure he can be hurt and it does hurt but soon he learns to sort of turn off extreme pain, and he always ALWAYS regenerates or recovers. But he's always aware that his friends don't. so if he needs to he'll throw himself in front of his human friends if they're dealt a fatal hit to make sure they aren't severely hurt. This becomes a bad habit when he's older. But his friends always try to protect him too and take care of him, and he unlearns the habit

Liz and Patty set him up on social media and he started with a whopping 1 follower for like a week, but then got millions of followers overnight after Soul (who has a good following count bc of his family's social status) mentioned him and everyone freaked out. That was the way the world found out Lord Death's kid existed. He and Soul destroy bullies together online. Patty pretends to be Kid on his account.

Kid is the Adrien Agreste of soul eater. very popular, people love the image they see of him in the news and interviews and stuff (I think its a lot harder for him to avoid publicity after the anime), but he's a lot different in person and only really gets close to the people who get to know him. everyone else has a sort of skewed perception of him. AKA he is Death's Son and Death's son only to them

Kid can sing but he typically doesn't because he likes to prepare first but doesn't particularly want to take the time to learn a song correctly. He appreciates the art but wouldn't do it. the only thing he knows well is some ancient song his dad taught him in some sort of inhuman language. he sang it ONE time and it freaked Liz out so much she didn't speak to him for a week

Before Kid took them in, Liz would sing ONLY for Patty. And only to comfort her. She did this after they moved into the manor too, when Patty would get nightmares from their life before or just generally have a hard time or anything. One time after Patty woke up from a nightmare and Liz went in to calm her down, Kid was walking by and just stopped at the almost-closed door when he heard Liz singing because A. He wants to know if his sisters are ok and B. He probably doesn't hear many people sing casually, and has definitely never heard Liz sing before and it's... nice?? He stays there for a while but moves on the second Liz finishes so he's not caught. He doesn't say anything. But then after one awful awful mission, Liz is singing to help Patty sleep and Kid just. Stands in the doorway, disheveled and exhausted and they all just,, stare at each other for a moment until Patty opens her arms and Kid shuffles over, a little embarrassed and puts his head in her lap. They are all very tired. And then Liz (after getting over herself) just keeps singing until the two of them fall asleep

Kid only knows how to cry/to cry when he's upset because he saw Maka do it when they were young and now he's a pro. Because he only really LOOKS human a lot of human behavior doesn't come naturally for him so he learns from humans around him. He's much better at mimicking and adopting human behavior than Lord Death, which was LD's whole idea

He's shorter than Liz and Patty until he's about 20, then he's shorter than Liz but taller than Patty

Kid can pick up languages really easily. I think if he's immersed he can speak fluently after a couple hours

I've thought about a thing where individual people outside of Death City think he looks different than how anyone else sees him, like a sort of PJO Aphrodite situation but that may be too much of an identity crisis for him lol

There are no government records confirming Kid exists. The only document or ID he has is that little card from LD that says I'm LD's son I can do what I want and nobody questions it

Kid's human form ages normally until he's an adult but when he's mature his aging slows until it finally stops at some point, not sure when.. maybe around appearing 40?

he is gay and ace and has a very loose concept of gender

only Liz and Patty can touch his hair but only when they're at home

Kid and Maka are besties I don't make the rules. She is the only one he will allow to help with his detective work

Kid and Patty cannot be left unsupervised together or there will be some sort of chaos. they are scarily effective on duo missions, even though Kid doesn't use Patty as a weapon for those occasions

Kid doesn't need to sleep but he does if there are other people around (having Liz and Patty in the house helps) because it's refreshing and he read somewhere it helps build trust

Eyes glow in the dark and he can see fine in the dark

Kidstar:

They're about the same height but Black Star gets a growth spurt and is a few inches taller when they're adults

Kid figures out his feelings first (takes a bit rip) but doesn't do anything about them because he feels like he can't because of his responsibilities

^^ That being said I think Black Star has always been generally aware of his feelings for Kid but he doesn't actually put two and two together until literally the moment before he makes his move lol

I don't think they refer to the other as their boyfriend specifically (at least not often) they just sorta... idk man they're partners, they can't describe their relationship in words dont look at me i'm sobbing

first kiss in the rain lets go

majority of physical affection they do is like. hand holding or light touches on the shoulder or arm it is very special to them

more of a future thing (i got a whole future au so ofc i'll talk abt a future thing lol) i dont think they'd ever feel the need to get married bc they're both stubborn and they got all of eternity to be together and I think a lot of their relationship just generally remains unlabelled and unspoken it just IS

OH sort of ignoring my second kidstar hc I had a hc they got together sometime before the mission to the arctic but nobody except like. Killik knew

For funsies I'll throw in a couple of Black Star headcanons

Tsubaki is teaching him Japanese and how to cook

^^ he likes to cook for his friends even though he's not that good at it yet

Mom is Latina I have some stuff about her here. He starts to learn Spanish after he finds out about her

First partner and first kiss was Killik but they had a mutual and friendly break up

Somehow beats mortality while remaining human idk how he just does ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That is all I can think of right now but I hope you enjoy :)

[con-clavi-con-jae]

The awaited Polyvessels winter solstice celebration fic no one wanted.

This ended up just being me throwing every thought I've had recently about them into a fic, but I see nothing wrong with that. It's kinda inspired by a post @ghxstly-death made.

Warnings? Kinda? Basically there's like a small bit where Ves and III get caught doing some not holy activities but it's literally just two not at all explicit lines, idk. (Also III is trans bc I can)

21st of December, 4:30 in the morning.

Vessel was already up, which isn't surprising for him. Except this time, it wasn't for any kind of nightmare or suffering. He was excited, extatic even, to start the celebration. Today was the first day of winter. Tonight would be the longest night of the year, the one night where Sleep is at Her highest power, and can reach out to them the most.

Vessel ran down to the living room with the candle he'd made for Sleep, and sat down on the couch, thinking up his first offering. It had to be something special, since it was the most important day of the year. He felt Her hands on his shoulders, whispering to him about how grateful She was to have such devoted followers. With a wide grin under his mask, Vessel looked out the window. It's still snowing, a perfect day to rest, give out offerings, and show how grateful they were to their Lady of Dreams for the year that had passed.

Vessel lit the candle and looked intently at the flame, taking deep breaths. Then, he started the prayer. It was quiet, he always preferred to pray in silence when he was alone. He then set everything up for his offerings of the day, and took a short nap on the couch.

A few hours later, II woke up and went down to the living room, waking Vessel up with a kiss and blowing the candle out, "Good morning, sweet thing. Did you sleep well?" He sat down next to his partner, petting his hair as he wakes up, "I hope She didn't keep you up too long."

Vessel sat up, holding II close to his body and feeling the warmth of his partner's body, it was all he wanted to concentrate in, but he had his duties, and II had theirs. It's not fair to keep them occupied... but II's hair was soft and smelled good, Vessel just wanted to keep his face buried in it and forget about all his troubles. Still, Sleep needed his devotion, he loved serving Her, and he would do so as needed. Vessel kissed II's lips quickly and went to the altar room, mixing up the dried herbs for their first ritual of the day.

II, meanwhile, decided to cook up a nice, elaborate breakfast for his boys, as well as the first offering of the day. The presence of Sleep could be felt, everywhere. As II started up the cooking, he lit the candle he kept in the kitchen and thanked Her for everything She did for all of them. IV and Vessel had gone to buy some groceries that week, so II had a wide array of ingredients for his cooking, another thing they were grateful of. They decided to make some French toast, orange juice and scrambled eggs, something special for this special occasion. As he tossed the ingredients on the pan, making quick work of it all, they murmured intentions and incantations only loud enough for Sleep to hear them, expressing gratefulness and asking for a safe winter.

As the rest woke up, III made his way to the altar room, and IV to the kitchen.

III walked up behind Vessel, his hands on his boyfriend's shoulders taking the man out of his work. As Vessel turned around, he was entranced by the way the candles lit all around the room made III's dark skin look as golden as the small lip ring he wore, his now short red hair tied up in a bun. III was always so enticing, Vessel could gaze at him for hours and never get tired. "You're staring again, love," the taller man giggled, resting his chin on Vessel's shoulder, "what are you doing anyway?"

"Just making some incense... they're drying, actually," Vessel responded in a calm manner, trying to focus on the offering. They were six small cones and four bigger ones, and contained orange peel, cinnamon, cloves, ginger and sandalwood, among other things. "When they're dry after breakfast, we can light one."

The sparkle in Vessel's eyes when he worked on his offerings always filled III's heart with love, just needing to get it out by kissing all over his boyfriend's mask and holding him tight.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, IV tiredly made his way in and dropped his head onto II's shoulder, groaning at the amount of light and all the noise outside.

"Good morning, Ivy. Slept well?" II asked softly, getting another groan he assumed was a yes from IV, "good. Wanna help me set the table?" IV shook his head no at II's question, burying his face into his partner's neck. "Alright then. Call the boys, will you?"

IV sighed, kissing his way down II's neck, humming tiredly as II set the table, still unable to speak and not wanting to let go of his love.

"Ivy, go look for Vessel and III, and maybe I'll make you some coffee, okay?" II asked, sweet but stern, and IV finally let go of him to go look for the others.

IV made his way up to the altar room, slamming the door open and finding a rather enticing view. III sat on Vessel's desk, his thigh over the other man's shoulder as he kneeled on the floor. "Ahem, guys, II wants you to go down, but not in that way..." IV teased, blushing and looking away with a playful smile.

When they noticed their boyfriend standing at the doorway, Vessel and III pulled away and got themselves fixed up, walking out the door looking at the floor in attempt to avoid IV's eyes.

In the kitchen, II had set up a table full of all the things he knew his boys loved, a red candle in the middle lighting up the room.

"You really didn't have to, II... you're so sweet, come here~" III grabbed the shorter vessel by the hand and kissed him in between soft laughs, meanwhile Vessel sat down and started the prayer.

"Our sweet Lady of Dreams, bless us in this cold day, as the dark nights start and Your power reaches farther than ever, we thank You for Your protection, and hope You can get us through the darkness." Vessel recited, his voice full of hope and devotion as he held on to the others' hands.

"And the night comes down like heaven," the rest responded, before excitedly digging into their food while they chatted about their plans for the day.

"So, what's everyone thankful for this year?" II started, taking a long sip of the juice in his glass, "I, for one, am grateful for getting nominated four times for drummer of the year."

"Self-centered much?" III teased, kicking him lightly under the table and getting into a little war with II, stepping and kicking at each other's feet, "well I am grateful for how the band's been growing. All of us."

Vessel and IV shared a look, rolling their eyes at their partners' childish antics. "I'm just happy that we get to spend the solstice together at home, at the very least. With all the tours, it's a miracle we even get alone time anymore." IV sighed contently as he ate his sweet food, the strong taste of cinnamon weirdly reminiscent of all the years they've done this together. "What about you, Ves?"

Vessel froze. What is he thankful for? What did he do this year that the others hadn't mentioned? The band was his only big accomplishment, and he didn't know what exactly could count as his anyway. He spoke up quieter than the rest, "I'm just glad to have you guys... I'm not... entirely sure if I've done anything worth it besides writing and all..." his hand grabbed the fork tightly, stabbing at the eggs on his plate absentmindedly. Then, he felt III and IV grab his hands, and II shot him a worrying look.

"Love, you've done so much more than that... you're just such a beautiful human, I wish you could see that." II's voice was stern yet dripping with love, their eyes looking into Vessel's as the others held him. Vessel heard Sleep's encouraging whispers all around him, and it all combined made him smile as he thought back on his year again.

"I'm grateful that I have you and our fans to support me through my healing. It's been a hard year, and I couldn't have done it without you." Vessel finally got slightly louder, his voice more secure and his posture straighter. They were all happy for this, seeing Vessel get better, all of them getting better, it was all they could ever ask for.

Rituals went by, the morning was peaceful, and in the evening, they all sat in the living room together. Incense brunt as IV sat next to the coffee table, stabbing cloves into slices of dried orange to make them look like little suns and tying thread around it. He wore a hoodie that was probably stolen from Vessel, as it was tight around the chest but reached around his mid-thigh, and was bundled up in a cozy blanket he shared with II. The shorter Vessel, in turn, sat on the couch right behind him and wrote down all his intentions for the next year. Their hair was tied and they had his tongue out, a soft sight that made all the boys instantly warm inside.

Meanwhile, III and Vessel sat on the couch together. Vessel strummed on his guitar and III hummed some of their older songs, memories of the beginning of the band flooding his mind and making him nostalgic. He'd been having thoughts about his life, what he wanted to do with it, and the future of his relationship with his partners, and it just all came out of him without a warning. "Do you guys think we should get a child?" He suddenly spoke up, not knowing where that comment had come from.

"And how exactly would we procure this child?" Vessel softly asked, not fully against the idea but not sure if he'd do a good job at caring for a kid, "we practically don't exist, so we can't adopt, and you're the only one with the right 'equipment' for it..." IV laughed loudly at the comment as he stood up to hang the decorations he'd made.

"Well I, for one, think that's a beautiful idea if you'd be all up for it." II mused as he passed III the notepad with his intentions, "you could write that for next year, if we all agree?" They looked at IV, who nodded excitedly, and then back at Vessel.

After a bit of thinking, Vessel agreed. "If that's the will of our Lady, then I don't see how it's a bad idea." He assured calmly as he watched III write it down with his messy handwriting.

The notepad got passed around, stories from their past dreams were shared, and it all was shaping up to be a beautiful celebration.

"Wait but what does it mean to dream that some guy I never met dies to save me?" IV groaned as he laid on the floor, his dark hair splayed out, "like, do I just... feel helpless perhaps?"

Vessel wrote all that down on IV's dream journal, thinking about all the possible meanings that could have, "that's a good one. Or maybe you sacrifice parts of yourself for others?" He wondered while his hand stayed buried in III's curly hair, all three of them relaxing when II came in with cups of hot chocolate. "Thanks, honey... sit here, please?"

II rolled his eyes, laying on Vessel's lap as the four of them kept chatting and finishing up their dream journals for tonight's most special ritual.

II finished first, as usual, so he went outside to the garden to start up the fire to cook the food. They'd made sure to get the highest quality ingredients for tonight, since his cooking was an offering, and this night, Sleep deserved the best of the best. The fire rose and II cooked up a nice stew for himself and his lovers, to keep them warm during the cold winter night.

When Vessel finished, he got out to sit by II, wrapped up in a blanket, his head on his partner's shoulder as he hummed softly, letting the fire and II's soft touch warm him up.

"You look tired, love. You sure you wanna stay up tonight?" II whispered lovingly as he pet Vessel's hair. The taller man nodded, quiet and probably asleep by now. II laughed at this and covered his love in the blanket as he kept checking the stew. It'd be done in one more hour.

Meanwhile inside, III and IV laid together on the couch, a quiet conversation going on between them before IV broke the comfortable silence. "I have a question, my flower... why did you ask that now? About the kid, I mean." III's eyes widened at this, but he looked away, uncomfortably avoiding the topic, so IV decided to explain himself first, "I promise I'm not mad, it's just... it's a weird time to ask that, y'know?"

III sighed, burying his face into IV's chest and kissing him softly, "I suppose this last tour just gave me a lot to think about, my life, our future together..." III blushed as he explained this, not really knowing how to.

IV cut him off with a kiss, caressing his hair lovingly, "well, I believe we'd make gorgeous kids, and you'd be a great parent. So we're good." III grinned widely, getting on top of IV and kissing all over his face. They were both just insanely happy to be back together, alone, after all this time.

Their sudden kiss assault was interrupted by II calling out to them, the food was ready. They both ran outside, holding their dream journals and putting on warm matching sweaters, which Vessel and II also had on. The boys were already sitting by the fire under a blanket, so III and IV joined them and grabbed their plates as Vessel started another prayer.

"Lady of Dreams, protector of the night, we offer You our thoughts and all that we are, and You save us from the dangers of this mortal realm. All we dream, it is for You, and all You give us is sacred." With that, Vessel collected all their journals, as well as the page with all their intentions for the year to come, and tossed it all into the fire.

"The night comes down like heaven," they all said together and sat back on the floor, wrapped in the warm blanket and feeling each other's bodies pressed against their own. It was a special night, and the thing they were all the most grateful for, is being together at last.

[rebo-chan]

Continuing the lambo and tsuna discussion:

Oh yeah tsuna absolutely would be a hypocrite and it would be so intersting to see them having a serious fight over it.

Especially bc, tsuna ALREADY as a 13/14 year old doesnt wanna be involved in fights and the like, he just wants to be a fucking teen please leave me alone, but when he's older hes probably even MORE terrified of what they've been through as kids. As a teen when he saw 15 yo lambo he was like "oh yeah he can handle this... Maybe... Probably... Perhaps???"

But the older you get the more you realise what a fucking dystopian nightmare it is to believe fucking teenagers could be in a war, no matter how powerful they end up being or how successful! Most of the shounen protags are AT LEAST in Highschool, Tsuna is a FIRST YEAR IN MIDDLESCHOOL, BABY GOT BARELY OUT OF HIS TWEENS

So while yeah its hypocritical tsuna also has the experience and hindsight now to realize NAH UH NO NO NO NOT HAPPENING NOPE THAT IS A FETUS

Not that Lambo would ever accept that bc yeah its his big brother and (idk how common this is i am an only child and never had friends with siblings) its (maybe) common for kids to look up to their older siblings in a way especially when they are far older and tsuna has done some really amazing stuff. He just doesnt get the whole "too young" for the fight thing, especially bc his background is already mafia related and the Bovino let this 5 YEAR OLD run around with GRANADES AND ROCKET LAUNCHERS.

Child safety? Dont know her - Old Bovino motto

No but srsly i just think tsuna is the very first person that actually brings up this concept in lambos life. Even Nana never sees whats going on around her as any kind of dangerous, even kids his age are nonchalant about it, fucking yamamoto may see a kid in him but he rolls with almost anything, gokudera just shows him disdain which is not exactly concern (in the beginning)

So its JUST Tsuna that looks at this five year old and says "Absolutely fucking not"

I mean technically also Haru but i dont think he registers that bc she just generally coddles the babies.

So Tsuna, his big brother, the one he looks up to the most, does not acknowledge him as a fighter. And while lambo doesnt see Tsuna as his boss, I do think when he grows older it WILL become more and more of an issue between both of them.

I know i basically just rephrased and repeated a lot of what you said in your post but also I HAVE SO MANY EMOTIONS

OMG NO DONT EVEN WORRY I AM MORE THAN HAPPY TO TALK ABOUT LAMBO AND TSUNA <3 <3 <3

A real fight about this topic between Lambo and Tsuna would actually be so interesting though, you're so right. In this case, Tsuna cannot be reasoned with. As you mentioned, the older he gets the more he will look at being 15 years old as being a FETUS. His stress already just skyrockets whenever Lambo is ANYWHERE near the battlefield, he becomes absolutely belligerent (Shimon arc, future, and letting himself get disqualified in Varia) Tsuna is definitely the one most protective of Lambo, though Gokudera is a good second place even Gokudera doesn't realize that is a child though tbf in a world where the strongest are infants I do not blame Gokudera for not blinking an eye.

Child safety, don't know her ksJNGKJNSGE NO FR THOUGH. TSUNA IS THE ONLY ONE LIKE "please for gods sake stay at home my god please please" Its even funnier when you consider the only reason he trusts TYL I-Pin to protect anyone is bc she becomes 1 year older than him through the bazooka. SKJNG this is why TYL Lambo is also called Adult Lambo in his head. But yes, this idea would ABSOLUTELY disintegrate the moment my boy tsuna leaves his teen ages. I think the idea that this will be an area of tension for Lambo and Tsuna is so cool, because oh my god!! Lambo wants to be there. Despite his age, he is rightfully Vongola's Guardian of Lightning and he wants to hurry up and catch up!! Especially when you take into account of what I said about 20yl, like that's a Lambo that loses everyone!!!! Imagine the absolute stress on Lambo's brain when these thoughts flourish in his mind, and then he's got his big brother who would see him in a training room and go "WHAT ARE U DOING HERE. GET OUT?????? DO NOT TOUCH THE POINTY SPEAR THAT IS CHROMES" It's such absolute tasty content and I am more than happy to oblige with the Tsuna/Lambo thoughts. They're so important to me <3

[beaulesbian]

more mike gets vecna’d and will has powers theory, that i cant stop thinking about. long post ahead

(bear with me, its a bit chaotic, just like my thoughts)

first they thought it was about the place - the trailer park, but max mentions chrissy was crying in school. which means it wasnt fixed to the place. so even if mike is in cali, it could have already somehow work on him, and maybe will have more effect once he comes back to hawkins.

what he already has in common with the other victims - possible negative emotions.

ofc given the situation mike could have been just upset with what he saw that el did to angela, as well as being upset bc he found out from will that el has been lying to him. as well as will being upset with him too about the lack of communication between them (and mike back at him - they could have both dealt better with the calling/writing to each other throughout the year).

but also this:

and im not sure if its just a coincidence or finn doing this accidentally,

but given it was actually mike who saw this happen to max (when they both didnt know the cause or that its a much worse problem), im taking it as some kind of foreshadowing,

and another foreshadowing could be with the d&d game they play in 4x1, and mike’s character going down - they could be dead, OR could be just at 0 hit points, which mean... someone needs to save him/stabilize him still after defeating vecna

they will need someone to break the curse, defeat the wizard part of vecna.

and then maybe someone with healing powers, maybe a certain cleric (will) 👀

“ Clerics are powerful healers due to the large number of healing and curative magics available to them. With divinely-granted abilities over life or death, they are also able to repel or control undead creatures “

where if he does have some kind of powers, he could do something against the supposed undead army, thats been mentioned multiple time throughout the show.

imagine:

vecna attacks mike, they desperately try to rescue him, but what if his favorite song doesnt work, eleven fails trying to defeat vecna, but then will gets into upside down either through the connection he still has?

and he finds mike, and what vecna is trying to do to him, illusions and nightmares all around, its horrible, and he sees how much mike is scared and terrified.

and will does what he does best - he reassures, he offers a comfort that in that moment mike desperately needs, maybe in just a way of saying ‘im here, its gonna be okay, we are getting you out of here, just hold on.”

and he attacks vecna... with a fireball!

(bc although “he could have cast protection and play it safe”,  “sometimes the bad guys are smart too”)

drawing fireballs with green instead of red, could mean its just the opposite color on the spectrum - or the upside down version of red.

i rest my case with:

LET WILL CAST FIREBALL ON VECNA!

[toytle]

Hi! I love your art style it's like. Breathtaking. And your hcs on barry are some of my favourites of all time?

What do you think of "The Ballad of Barry Allen by Jim's Big Ego as an analysis of Barry's character?

are you asking or are you telling me 🤨 lol THANK YOU i put all my headcanon power into him <3

for the ballad, i love their song stress, and this isn’t bad at all as far as fansongs go. but there’s a reason i don’t include it in my barry playlist, and it’s ultimately bc it doesn’t fit my narrative haha

the song was made in 2003 and i haven’t read many comics before then, so idk how well it aligns w barry’s characterization prior to flashpoint, but i’m basing my playlist off post-flashpoint, so that’s where a lot of the differences will lie

for starters, the song only includes one half of barry’s relationship to his superspeed, and it’s important to me that a barry interpretation includes both sides of that coin. instead, it’s playing on the idea of the dark side of the hero fantasy, an inherently optimistic genre. which, fair, being a superhero sounds like a nightmare, but that angle is less novel to me when that’s the extent of the analysis (and i’m a little over the whole “i hate being a superhero” storyline in general, personally). the song is basically abt how much it would suck to have superspeed bc the world slows to a crawl and you’re left behind bc no one else can keep up w you. and it’s true, that is a very real setback! especially for someone like barry who’s already prone to self-isolation and time management issues! but what does the song actually have to say abt him as a character?

the thing is, barry isn’t a “i wish i wasn’t a hero” kind of guy. he’s a “could i be so strong [to give up the flash]? or do i love the thrill of these powers too much?” kind of guy. he’s a “knowing what i know now… if i could go back in time… maybe i would’ve been somewhere else the day lightning struck my lab and electrified those chemicals, ready and willing to forfeit a life of dodging deathtraps and battling villains… who am i kidding? there’s no going back. no do-overs. like everyone else, superheroes can only follow the path destiny has laid out for them, whatever lies ahead.” kind of guy. yes, barry is caged by his superspeed, but it would be misleading to not present it first and foremost as the very thing that frees him. it’s a double-edged sword that gives him purpose, and that freedom in obligation is what motivates him to keep going. as a wise man once said, “all you can do is go forward.” (“thanks.” “superman is pretty smart isn’t he.” “hm.”)

i think the real kicker for me was this lyric: “i’ve got time to think about the past… how my life was so exciting before i got this way.” my sincerest apologies to mr. allen, but he does not feel complete to me without his mother’s death or his father’s false imprisonment. this backstory contextualizes everything for me. his life was NOT exciting before his superspeed, it was lonely and full of escapism, either in his sci-fi/comics or his dedication to finding justice. i am of the belief that barry didn’t truly start living until he got his superspeed, over 2 decades of waiting around before he rly understood freedom and what it meant to live for himself. i get what they’re trying to do here, but this is what i mean when i say it feels like the song characterizes barry around the concept of his speed rather than how barry’s speed defines him as a person

ik i can’t expect a 4min song to include every aspect of a character’s timeline/development/nuance (esp before some of that even existed lol), but my issue isn’t that it doesn’t cover enough ground—it’s not bad that they had a theme and stuck by it, i actually love the lyrics from a speedster perspective. my issue is that i don’t think this is a good framing for barry’s character as a whole. for all his regrets and suffering, barry is optimistic to the point of denial. choosing this to be The theme to represent barry just. doesn’t feel like barry to me. it’s more like barry is the placeholder subject as an excuse to sing abt superspeed

if this was somehow less overtly a “BARRY ALLEN FANSONG” and maybe more metaphorical or even non-fandom, then it would be a dif situation and i might have dif opinions. at the end of the day, this has more to do w my pickiness than the quality of the song, and the fact that it even exists is so exciting for me as a barry allen enjoyer first, human second. but if you’re going to call smth a character study, i Will be getting my hopes up

[yonemurishiroku]

https://www.tumblr.com/yonemurishiroku/726171882461724672/i-have-excellent-news-for-you?source=share

What r some of ur hcs about this ship?

Ok. I usually don’t spill the beans about what I plan to write (mainly bc I need to keep up the motivation), but this would be an exception bc I always make exception for rarepairs.

Anw. About Clovis and Nico.

I have many jumbling thoughts about them but Ig it all comes down to two things:

1/ Their stories

2/ Their powers, down to their very core.

When I say the stories, here’s the thing

Nico has a lot of history, whereas Clovis does not. Obviously. Nico has been around as the deuteragonist since book 3, whereas Clovis barely makes an appearance. The difference in their screen time is abyssal.

But look at it in the normal way. If Nico was to play a character, what does that make Clovis?

An observer.

Why? Because Clovis, as it turns out, has the potential to be the one who knows the most, seeing as the Hypnos’ cabin is literally the central station of the highway through which all dreams must pass through.

And dreams, essentially, are just fragments of one’s life stories.

So look at it this way. Nico is a character. Clovis is the observer, and from that, a story teller.

- He is frankly a stranger but he may know a lot more about Nico than a mere stranger would. Isn’t that romantic? (A little creepy but let’s not delve on that)

- Nico wouldn’t be alone. He might think he’s alone, but if we take in the assumption that Clovis knows about his struggles, he might offer silent help without prying too much.

Think of it this way. You’re struggling and you’re just so tired but every way you look at is a dead-end. And then suddenly someone comes and takes your hand and opens a new door and you just collapse in their arms crying as they tell you “It’s gonna by okay”

- Clovis is a son of the Underworld too. What does it mean? It means the “ppl don’t like children of hades” doesn’t mean shit. Clovis would be the exception to whatever Nico has had to deal with from CHB.

- Rick makes Nico an insomnia and I’m monopolizing it for Clovico bc not letting Clovis in this is obviously Clovis-erasure. The potential is hitting me in the face. I’m sending Nico off to Hynpos’ cabin at every chance I get.

- Sleep dates every night bc I SAID SO. Nico getting over his touch-fright thanks to piling up in pillows and blankets with the Hypnos children so much.

- Clovis falling asleep during meetings bc he has Nico relaying everything to him later. Bonus point if he is actually laying on Nico’s shoulders and everyone’s like “shouldn’t we address that” but Nico’s like “Shhh” 😭😭😭

- Brewing tea and warming milk for each other!

- Morning routine: opening eyes - “Do u feel like up and shining?” - “Nah” - proceeds to return to sleep until Austin comes rapping on the door

- “We have a date” and all ppl see them doing is just sleeping. JOKE’S ON THEM tho bc they’re having the best dates ever in the dreamland

Which brings us to the second point vvvv

Their powers overlap in one thing, and that is the dreams.

Throughout the series, we have been shown: Olympus, Erebus, Tartarus, Atlantis (idk ab that tho). You know what we haven’t touched?

The dreamscape.

No, not the misleading nightmares/ illusions of Epiales in TSATS. I mean the dreamscape. The land of one’s living mind.

It’s literally a new world right there.

And oh would you look at that. Who could enter this realm? Oh right! Children of Hades and Hypnos.

Nico and Clovis (and other children of Hypnos Morpheus ofc) have a whole world to themselves, no shit.

- Here’s a thing I like ab what Rick did in HOO: Through the dreams, Nico could connect with the Hypnos cabin in general and Clovis in specifics, thousands of miles away from them.

So what does this mean? It means that, no matter where Nico is, he can always find his way to Clovis.

Just fall asleep and then let his dream lead him.

Isn’t that romantic - that the one you love would always be there, behind your eyelids? 🫶🥰 And you can always see them just by closing your eyes?

Nico could be at the other side of the globe and they’d still be seeing, touching each other every day/night. Look me in the eyes and tell me another couple who could do it.

- The whole thing about death being a big, undisturbed sleep. But it’s 1:30 am i don’t have th willpower

- I have a whole thing which is Alice in Wonderland AU but again i have nothing