#bc that is their Job. they cycle out. majority of them do care but they just cant give the child the attention they need

[orcelito]

From a scale of 1 to "ritzy orphanage", what level of bullshit have you read today?

[holographic-mars]

oh ye of great coswave knowledge do you have any ramblings or headcanons to share today (im horribly coswave deficient)

ITS LIKE A WEEK LATER BUT HERE, COSWAVE RAMBLINGS UPON YE DURING THESE TRYING TIMES

Soundwave associates food with comfort and security because of his time in the Dead End where Ravage (as well as Buzzsaw and Laserbeak, but usually by order of Ravage) did the majority of finding energon and keeping Soundwave fed (to the point where ravage would sacrifice her rations to keep soundwave fed because he’s much bigger than her and needed more energy). Then, when he joined the Decepticons it became his job to make sure his cassettes were fueled (now Soundwave was the one who sacrificed rations in order to make sure all his cassettes had fuel).

SO. Soundwave associates fuel with love and comfort because that was a key part of showing his cassettes that he loves them bc and vice versa .

Wartime is over, Soundwave has his station where he makes sure everyone has enough fuel, and Cosmos has been freshly added to the list of mechs Soundwave cares about very much.

Soundwave starts preparing Cosmos’ morning energon at the beginning of every cycle. He always makes sure cosmos has his energon, and once they start sharing a hab he makes sure he’s the first up to make the energon for them (on the rare chance he’s not up first, Cosmos waits until he’s up to prepare the energon. That’s Soundwave’s special thing—if Cosmos tries to do it, Soundwave gets stressed at the change in routine. Soundwave struggles with verbal displays of affection, so he is very serious about displaying his love though acts of service) He sees food as comfort and warmth and security and that is everything he wants to give Cosmos.

Eventually, Cosmos started bringing Soundwave a bit of fuel during the day when he seems tired to return the special gesture of love (an added bonus, it does wonders for his health. Soundwave has never been properly fueled in his life, so he has always been on the leaner side. Once Cosmos starts bringing him small amounts of fuel during the day, Soundwave begins to noticeably look much healthier and filled out).

ANYWAYS THANK YOU FOR THE ASK EHHEHEHE ❤️❤️❤️🛸🛸

[thepeanutbutterwizard]

How have they kept Odalia from catching on that they’re friends? Also, have you considered doing omakes for this AU of moments like this that don’t fit well in the main story? No pressure or anything, just curious.

Well things are better between Amity and the twins to start off, and their help makes a fair amount of difference.

In cannon the strain in their relationship seemed to stem from the pressure Amity was feeling causing her to resent that they can get away with their pranks and stuff, her trying to get them in trouble for once, them retaliating against her, her telling on them for their retaliation, and rinse and repeat with their parents either not noticing or not caring about that cycle.

But since Amity has a reason to rebel as well, she's less invested in actually keeping to Odalia's standards, and doesn't want to try and expose how Ed and Em aren't living up to them.

Ed and Em were thrilled to learn their little Mittens was sneaking around behind Odalias back, passing notes to Luz through library books, volunteering to tutor Willow after school back before she transferred to the Plant track, and have been very willing to help Amity sneak around Odalia, and she helps them as well.

Another, rather surprising...ally isn't the right word for Boscha, but she does actually help cover for Amity, even though she kind of hates her guts (feelings mutual).

I'm going to be expanding on the world building a bit in HS au, and something I'm going to be doing is showing how magic isn't meant to be neatly compartmentalized into nine different categories. Magic is supposed to be Wild.

I mentioned in DoaF that Luz has a lot of classes that overlap with Willow and Amity, but only has a general class (like history or math) with Gus, and that's bc Abominations and Potions have a lot of overlap, as do Plants and Potions.

Boschas parents in HS run a Potions company that makes different types of serums made specifically to be used on Abominations, to help Abominationists get their goo to the right consistency or texture or level of stability that they need for their job or whatever it is they need to do.

Their company is partnered with Blight Industries as a supplier for these very useful serums, and since their company is a fair bit smaller than the Blights, Boschas parents are super insistent that she maintain a good relationship with Amity so they don't risk losing that contract.

So even though Boscha would rather give up Grudgby forever than help the S1-Hexsquad, she and Amity actually have to work together to trick their parents into thinking they're still best friends. So they'll help cover for each other out of self preservation.

All that plus Eda applying the skills learned after decades of being a career criminal to help means Odalia is currently none the wiser, and is more invested in chasing Amity around with a bottle of hair dye than in who she's hanging out with at school.

And I actually have been considering posting outtakes and scrapped ideas for HS au and DoaF! Bc I have quite a few of them already, including a version of Eda finding the kids from Eda's perspective instead of Luz's I wrote when I was writing Chap 2.

Since I'm still hammering things out for later down the line (I have an overall plan with a few major plot beats I'm settled on, and ideas for how everything else is gonna go, but I only have up through the S1 events and a little into S2 of HS au concretely planned out) I'm going to hold off on posting any of those until I get things settled a bit more, since I don't want to put something out as a scrapped idea, only for me to get a new idea that means I can incorporate that scrapped idea, but now I've spoiled it and told everyone I'm not using it.

[juliaturtlelover]

Okay, it's time for something new: Ven-Ghan design under the armor + redesign. I made him look more... alien? and insect like. He is shiny now lol. I'm aware that Ven-Ghan can't take his armor off, this is just to show him of. If I need to tag this as nudity tell me, ok?😅

I also decided this is a perfect post to vent about some of my headcanons))

***

Takonions as species are not completely gone)). Some, even if a few percent of the planet, evacuated. Jim implies so i believe. But it doesn't matter to me if that is canon or not, just a speculation based on level of tech development of Takion. Mostly upper class survives, and some who manage to get to refuge ships in time. As expected, most of those are kids who will never see their parents again.

***

Why Jim didn't come with his sodality? Bc Steel. Bc he was afraid others wouldn't ask questions and just shoot them both.

***

Where would refugees go? Another unexplored concept: the Black Star. Runs by Council and was created long time ago, as Makino's wrath began. I like to hc that Black Star is union of intelligent species that manages resources between them, organizes trade, cleans space from garbage that is left after planet destructions and productions of Ultralinks, and, of course, takes care of refugees, finds them new homes and jobs.

Don't be fooled: this isn't kindness, this is profit seeking. If you aren't helpful to community, you are treated like shit. But no worries, there are enough places where spare hands (or other limbs) are needed.

***

This is canon that Makino is an Ultralink that puppets a host. I add: they need an intelligent host to distribute processes. Why? Makino is connected with Alphalink and is responsible for it's main function: the creation of new Ultralinks. The algorithm goes like:

>Absorption of the planet

>"Digestion", so responsible Ultralinks dismantle planets for resources. Garbage, i.e. what cannot be used is thrown into outer space.

>Creation of Ultralinks; and based on used resources each batch, even each ultralink in it, comes out different.

So, more absorbed planets - more warriors - more defeated planets - more absorbed planets. A cycle.

***

Steel isn't actually so different from other Ultralinks (considering most of them differ), just free out of programmed loyalty for Makino, not the first, not the last. But how he works is kinda different, isn't it? Bc the way he connects to Jim and Max - not just through armor. Not just through body. Through Turbo energy in their bodies. Special kind of bond that Ultralinks aren't programmed to. There is a difference between taking over a body and using it's energy if it has any emitting, and bonding to energy, that automatically means being connected to body. Such bond is dangerous to Ultralinks too, as accidents like with Turbo Star result in different kinds of catastrophes. Forever run on this energy, for example. And Steel is lucky is was Turbo energy (it has a different name among Takions) as it is powerful enough to fuel such complex being as Ultralink.

***

***

No. Absolute. Way. Max would ever want to have a child of his own. Give birth to kid with a strong possibility that one day they start emitting Turbo energy and explode? Lol No. Max has much more common sense than that. And too much trauma. And while Molly and Jim couldn't have known, what were they thinking is beyond me.

I also hc that Turbo Chamber could have worked if Max was chill and still. But he was in distress, which resulted in higher energy generation than Chamber can hold. But IF that worked? Max would have to sit in it often, maybe even couple of time a day in particularly bad days, draining himself completely, and N-Tek would have used that energy as they desire. Lovable.

***

Max will major in ai and robotics. Why?⬇️

***

Alphalink was destroyed near Earth. All Ultralinks who didn't die in explosion had evacuated, and most of them landed on Earth. Now N-Tek has a lot of work to do.

***

I don't think Steel and Max will be comfortable with just killing them all. The solution is hanging near Earth: Ven-Ghan, and his knowledge about reprogramming Ultralinks. Ven-Ghan ultralinks are empty tho. Literal functioning corpses. And Ven-Ghan isn't even professional in reprogramming Ultralinks, just knows the basics from the Black Star Council. But it's up to these three + Berto and N-Tek to learn how to give free will to Ultralinks, how to rehabilitate them.

***

If you want to better understand my vision of programmed loyalty/free will in Ultralinks, watch Detroit: Become Human. Just imagine deviance, aka free will, as MUCH harder and complicated process that cannot be achieved from outside source unless it's heavy reprogramming/reboot/rebuild. And while N-Tek works on solutions, which can take years and decades, all is left is to fight. And Ven-Ghan may or may not get two apprentices)))

English is nor my first, nor my second language pls excuse me if smth is wrong

[isalabells]

I am very curious why Ted going back to the US to be there for his son is him making the mistakes as his dad and a real tragedy. Or did I read your tags wrong and you didn’t mean it this way?

Anon, I never meant to insinuate that this is him making the same mistakes as his dad, nor do I think my tags suggests that. But it's Ted fearing he is making the same mistake as his dad that is the driving force for his ill-advised decision. (That being said, i've seen the Ted's gonna end up like his dad eventually take flying around here, and while -- even in the face of the final scenes -- this is too horrid and bleak a thought even for me I can't entirely refute it, so there's that.) As for your other question, hoo boi- I recommend going back to the post I reblogged and scrolling through some of the tags because there's a lot of people out there who've articulated it way more eloquently than I am currently capable of, and my answer is nothing but a potpourri of all these thoughts.

But let me ask you in return- Did Ted look happy to you? Did he? Did his constant dissociating throughout the episode and him being emotionally closed off and unresponsive to all the people who love and care for him so deeply, him forcefully shutting them all out so he could be A Good Dad and soldier on and do what must be done because he fears otherwise he will make Henry feel like his Dad made him feel (which in itself is a loaded thought, and I bet Sharon could dismantle it within two sessions) make you feel all warm and fuzzy? Him more or less being pushed into this decision because his mom was guilt tripping him and going through with it bc he is under the misguided impression that he has to break-the-cycle in order to prevent impending doom for Henry (guys pls this isn't Succession).

I know there's a post making rounds where people are being outraged bc how dare anyone say choosing to be a parent is the inferior choice here, why do you want Ted to abandon his child and like- I'm genuinely sorry if you feel that way.

The implication that Ted not living within close proximity to Henry renders him a bad father is just bonkers. Emotional availability and taking care of your kid, being involved in their life is not necessarily tied to local distance at all. In all those three years, Ted hasn't neglected Henry once? Hell, with all the constant facetiming and irregular visits and whatnot he's probably kept more up to date with his kid than a good chunk of parents do despite living under the same roof as their offsprings.

Emphasizing the importance of the nuclear family (one that technically doesn't even exist anymore in Ted's case) and telegraphing that this is the main if not only way to be A Good Father seems like such a shocking conservative and nearsighted move for this show, and, pardon me, a very US-American one as well. All of this seems quite tone deaf, but it wouldn't be the first time this season (maybe one day @hubba1892 will bless us all with the essay on TL taking a stand on defying Super League and pushing for 50+1 rule vs. City being a major advertising factor for the show.)

Obiously, this is strongly influenced by me being a firm believer that parenthood shouldn't swallow your whole identity. Playing at pretend happy family and, as someone else put it so nicely, sacrificing your happiness for the sake of your kid is not healthy, and it will gain your kid nothing in the end. Ted seeing himself as nothing but a vessel to fix other people's lives and help them become the best version of themselves only to remove himself from the situation, nay, the entire story (literally and metaphorically, cf him suggesting Trent change the title) once the job is done without a thought or care for his own wants and needs, let alone his happiness is just so deeply saddening. "But the second to last ep showed that they're all gonna be fine without him!!" Yes, that's exactly the point, he should stay because the wants to, not because they need him.

Now Ted 'ain't nobody in this room alone' Lasso is quite literally all alone in the big vast room that is Kansas, with his main people being Henry (a literal child), Michelle and his mom, two people who both make him fucking miserable. A less pointed take would be that he doesn't even have to stay at Richmond specifically. The opportunities that he now has at his disposal in the UK bc of his success story are endless; lots of possibilities for him to continue doing what he loves without being stuck in the depression show that is coaching little league for funsies, quenching all of his wants and needs and dreams and aspiration.

[liebgotts-lovergirl]

Hiya Bestie! 💕 For the director's cut game, I've been dying to know about Joe's relationship with Alix's friend group. There was a little mention of him interacting with them while Alix was gone, and I'd love to know more about their dynamic if you're down to share :)

Ooh this is such a good question!! It's gonna be addressed much more in later chapters too bc I'm a sucker for psychology!! 🤭

Liebgott + Skip + Don Relationship Psychoanalysis below the cut!!

So Joe is an interesting case bc he grew up SURROUNDED by family & we see him assume the role of Caretaker multiple times throughout the show, most notably with Tipper, when Tab gets gored, when Alley is wounded, & at the concentration camp later on.

The caring side of him is automatic-- it derives from being the oldest of so many siblings, the man of the family when his dad's at work. He's always been the Protector, the Caretaker etc.

He is as fierce a lover as he is a fighter bc both come from the same place: his compassionate heart! He can't help but care about people and as Eugene Sledge wrote in his book, it's the ones with empathy that suffer the most during wartime.🥺

As the war progresses, we see Joe starts to go against his own nature. We see him learn to shut the kinder side of himself down. He has to-- As Winters wrote in his book, Joe was one of Easy Company's "designated killers".

Imagine for one second the weight of that label on a person. You need someone executed, you call Joe. Joe is the one Resistance members use as a threat during interrogations-- he's the attack dog, he kills on command.

What does a normal human being have to do to become psychologically okay with that? How much of himself did he lose? What does a job like that do to a person over time?

Alix & Joe are very similar but they fork in that regard:

Alix lets her emotions lead as an act of rebellion against a system that has tried to rob her of them + tries to pull away from that label of "Killer" whereas Joe shuts down & leans into it. He does what he has to do. He is a good soldier.

He lets his anger (which is really just compounded self-loathing) drive him, becoming a bit of a Lone Wolf in the process.

The angrier Joe becomes, the more he lashes out.

The more he lashes out, the more he hates himself.

And the cycle just continues.

He knows it & he HATES it. There's a reason he abandons his old name in favor of an old family nickname, tries to avoid the Easy Co. reunions at all costs, & refuses to talk about the war until he's practically on his deathbed.

Joe DESPISES the person he used to be, the person the war made him.

AND THEN THERE'S OUR BELOVED SUNSHINE BOY, SKIP.

So Skip starts in a similar position but ends up in a VERY different place!

Like Joe, he grew up as the Caretaker figure in his family. He didn't face any discrimination growing up tho-- which obviously had a major effect on Joe-- but there's no doubt Skip is upset about the suffering he sees throughout the war. Any decent human being would be, ESPECIALLY someone with a heart as big as Skip's.

BUT unlike Joe, we never see Skip angry or upset for long.

Skip's outlook is UNFAILINGLY positive bc he knows if he allows himself to sink into that place of rage even for a moment, he'll never get out.

And as an NCO, Skip feels a responsibility for the morale of his squad. He knows people are depending on him, he knows the younger guys are watching him, so when he feels down, he makes the choice to lift others up instead.

Even in his letters, when he writes about feeling down, it's very quick mentions here & there. He refuses to let himself have more than a second or two of anger or self-pity BUT at the same time, does not allow the war to strip him of his humanity or compassion. He's been an optimist his whole life & even in the worst of times, he refuses to let the war take that from him.

SO

Subconsciously, when Joe looks at Skip, he sees the person he could have been, if life had been kinder. If he had made the same kinds of choices instead of hardening his heart to survive.

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood", so to speak.

And he wants to protect that in Skip at all costs.

In a similar vein, subconsciously, with Don, I think Joe sees his little brother -- This carefree, mischievous, bright spark of a boy with adventure in his soul. Joe's younger siblings got to have a childhood-- he never really did. So he sees the same light in Don that he sees in his younger siblings, & as he did growing up, Joe will shoulder whatever burdens he needs to in order to protect that.

Thank you so much for the Ask, my Dovely!! Sorry this kinda turned into a book lol💖

[tiredassmage]

wip wednesday!

It happens to be Wednesday! And I happened to be up later than planned in some weird form of tomorrow denialism performed in Google Docs.

I have like... two versions of this piece that I’m jumping between atm and I have no idea which one I’ll end up keeping; the base idea is the same, just involving two different companions, so ideally, whichever doesn’t happen will just happen at a different time and also assuming I decide to keep it happening in either case, but anyway xD That's why it's a wip, Dot.

It’s SWTOR! (ofc). Loosely set around 7.1 events after a particular conversation on the Fleet, but doesn’t particularly detail anything so spoilers kinda and but mostly not // Gen rating, light swearing // feat. Tyr/my Imp Agent (naturally) & my brainrot about Tyr/Theron/Malavai, but this one is  primarily a conversation between Malavai & Tyr.

[brief context bc I apparently can't write chronologically to save my life; this is obvs set after my rewrite of Iokath where Tyr recruits Quinn to the Alliance despite siding with the Republic, and... sometime between then and now (undetermined don't look at me), Tyr brings him into confidence about the double agent plot and also 3 pretty boys all catching feelings for each other bc I love all of them, that's really how we ended up in this mess. Anyway, enjoy!

“Commander.” The prim, yet gentle greeting drew Tyr out of the haze beginning to descend upon his mind as his fingers danced over the controls. Was it time already?

He looked over his shoulder to find Malavai attentively waiting for him, as always, and a fond smile slipped across his lips easily - as instinctive as the systems checks he’d been running, supposedly in anticipation of this moment to make the Major’s job easier, but…

“Apologies,” Tyr murmured, “I hadn’t heard you coming.”

A slight frown pulled at Malavai’s lips as he joined him on the bridge. “Love, if I may…” His hand rested first on Tyr’s shoulder as the Commander finished the check he’d been in the middle of, rubbing a few circles before he reached for the back of the Commander’s neck, seeking out the tension doubtlessly built there.

Tyr sighed almost instantly - and nearly involuntarily. Malavai’s head tilted in the corner of his vision, but Tyr only closed his eyes and tried to ignore the inevitable for a moment longer. The Major’s careful ministrations were a welcome warmth and distraction.

“You should get some rest,” Quinn counseled quietly, “It’s time for a shift change. And you’ve barely slept since we left Vaiken, love…”

Tyr’s shoulders sagged with a faint groan. “That obvious, is it..?”

A half-smile quirked the corner of Malavai’s mouth. “With all due respect, love, it is much easier when we all share quarters.” The expression didn’t last long, however. Quinn had never been much for sugarcoating things.

“Commander…” Tyr’s teeth dug at the inside of his lip as Malavai’s hands fell away, returning to that formal stance of a soldier. “I feel I must express some concern… You’ve barely loosened up since we departed the Fleet. You simply cannot maintain this schedule.”

“Always to the point, Major,” Tyr murmured as he bowed his head.

Malavai’s small smile was almost apologetic. “In my concern for you, I… find it most prudent to be blunt,” he replied. “You spies have a way of wiggling out of my care otherwise.”

A faint breath of a chuckle tumbled from Tyr’s lungs. “You know what they say about old habits…”

“I do.” Malavai gestured to the seats behind them. “If you’re offering me the pleasure of your company, you might at least consider your own comfort, love.”

Tyr rolled his eyes fondly. “Alright, you win this round, Malavai.”

“Don’t act like you’ve gotten off easy.” Malavai’s eyes quickly scanned a few of the displays to assure that their flight would remain largely uneventful. “You’ve still yet to admit what has been keeping you up. You were pacing last cycle.”

“Sorry,” Tyr muttered as he sank further into his seat. He didn’t want to admit it, but exhaustion was beginning to wear on him. He briefly pinched the bridge of his nose. “I didn’t keep you up, did I?”

“No,” Quinn assured with another small smile, “Theron is a gifted and persistent cuddler. I slept quite well, actually.” He carefully narrowed his eyes at Tyr’s tired, fond smile. “Tyr…”

The Commander blinked at the shift in his lover’s voice - it dropped lower as the Major fixed him in a careful gaze, brow knitting over his vibrant blue eyes.

Both Theron and Malavai had both learned quickly that it captured his attention and eased him. Just as Lana’s irritated stubbornness could coax him, so, too, could their gentle insistence. Both had their strengths, time, and place to be employed.

“You made me a promise,” Malavai reminded him, taking one of his lover’s hands carefully in one of his own to brush his fingers carefully over his knuckles. “When we agreed to this, I promised to be there for you and walk this path with you. I cannot do that unless you allow me to, Tyr.”

“I know,” Tyr breathed softly. He gently gripped Malavai’s hand back as he watched his lover’s fingers work. “I guess I just… We’re all in over our heads.., aren’t we..?”

Malavai sighed quietly. “You should have told us your plans with Malgus. I would have gone with you.”

An amused puff of breath loosed from the Commander’s lungs. “All three of you have said that, you know? Which of you was going to mind the ship?”

Quinn clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “You know the Fleet staff is more than capable, love,” he chided, though the mild reprimand was somewhat betrayed by the slight quirk at the corner of his mouth. “Lana and I at least enjoy assumed clearance.”

“Good. I won’t have to pick any fights with the Dark Council again.”

Malavai narrowed his eyes. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d accuse you of putting me in an early grave,” he scolded dryly. He leveled a stern gaze on his lover once more. They could only keep bantering around the matter for so long.

Malavai’s fingers had stilled over his hand and his grip had tightened. “Do you have any new concerns?”

Tyr shook his head. His free hand rose to rub over his chin. “No.” The gentle hum of the ship was all that filled his following silence for a few moments as his gaze drifted over the consoles. “I’m just… hell, I don’t know… getting too old for all this shit,” he muttered.

Malavai frowned down at their entwined hands. One might have been inclined to instinctively differ with someone they loved, but… none of them were quite ‘average’ in that respect.

“Do you regret it, Tyr..?” he asked quietly.

The Commander and ex-Cipher was silent for another long moment. “No.” Tyr rolled his jaw before he finally looked back at his lover. “May I speak frankly with you, Major..?”

He’d lowered his voice, reverted once more to the comforting distance of professionalism afforded by their titles. It’d helped Quinn find his footing in the Alliance - something grounding and familiar and unchanging, unlike so much else in the last several years.

“Always, Commander.”

“I’d burn the Empire down to the foundations, Quinn. All of it. Not for the Alliance, not for the Republic… Just… me."

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Heya just wanted some advice here. I'm a 19 yr old INTJ with depression (have been for 5-6 yrs now). Just wanted to know how to get out of this rut I'm in. Idk if it's a loop or what, I just know I'm depressed and it has definitely worsened since 2020. I don't take any medication and no therapy, although I know I should. When I'm financially stable, I'm planning to.

Anyways, I've been disqualified from college bc of my very low grades and have the option to appeal to be reinstated (and even then, if i do apply for a reappeal, there's a chance they could reject me anyway). In all honesty, I don't want to. I can't be bothered to care for school anymore. I guess most people would be horrified to have such failing grades, but I have no emotions towards it. It's just "oh well" for me. I didn't really want to go in the first place anyway, but my older sister suggested for me to try and I did...which ended up being a waste of time for me and I regret it. I guess it's good I only went for 1 yr lol. Maybe I should have waited or maybe I'm just not a college type at all. I've always disliked school anyways. I managed my depression well back then since i was a good student, straight A's and all, but now I've just completely stopped caring.

I will have to tell my family, but I don't want to tell them about my depression and all that...I haven't told anyone else about my mental issues besides my closest friends and even then, I hardly open up to them about my issues in general (honestly even now i am hesitant abt typing all this despite being anon lol...). My family has never forced me to do anything and give me a lot of freedom actually, so I think they will understand. Even though I often dislike them at times, I do appreciate that they don't force me into anything... I guess I just fear being open about my mental illness. I'm hoping it will be enough to say I just don't have the motivation and focus for school anymore without having to go any deeper. I know I can't just stay home though, staying home drives me crazy and honestly worsens my depression. I do try to keep myself busy at home with chores and babysitting my nephew. But that's still not good enough...I can't drive yet so can't go out and get a job, although I do want to. My best bet is working from home

I am very interested in art and have an art account, although not a lot of followers , but I could try opening commissions up. My lack of followers is my fault lol. I don't upload very often, but I do know my art is good (not in an arrogant way; I definitely know i still have A LOT to learn and I always try to improve my skills) and I know a few people will commission me. I just need a consistent schedule and energy level I think...Instagram's constant changing algorithm is confusing to keep up with + depression killing my energy and motivation + dealing with a baby is exhausting (and i already dislike children to begin with...).

And a week or 2 before my period starts, my depression gets even worse, to the point of daily suicidal ideation in those weeks (I'm sure I have PMDD or PME...likely PME as I'm already depressed and it gets worse before the cycle then goes back to my "normal" state of depression after period ends.) Still, art and the fear of failing to successfully take my own life is what is keeping me alive. If I'm gonna die, I just want to die right away lol but haven't figured that out... I do want to do something with art and be successful, yet a part of me doesn't want to bother at all and just wishes to die in my sleep. I dont really feel sad or anything, i just feel numb i think. Idk anymore

------------------------

If I have reason to doubt someone's type, I will not discuss any specifics of type development until the situation is clarified. Since I see little evidence of Ni and Te so far, I will either require you to verify your type or provide a more comprehensive explanation for your atypical function expression/development. You point to depression as a major problem and perhaps it is obscuring the view of your type development. Describing the problem is a good first step, but it’s not enough for achieving a comprehensive understanding of its roots and origins.

Depression is a multi-factorial disorder, which means that everyone’s path to recovery is somewhat different, depending on which factors are most influential. It sounds like you’re just drifting through life aimlessly with very little self-awareness. You’ll need to dig deeper into why you’re suffering and try to account for all of the factors that might have led you to be depressed. In other words, you have to identify the right causes to find the right solutions.

You already know some things you should do, yet you won’t do them. Genuine question: What will it take for you to act? What/who can help you when you don’t care about yourself enough to take responsibility for your own well-being? You don’t want people interfering in your life and that means you have to be the one to step up and take charge. You claim to not care about anything, yet people only ask for help because they care. So, do you or don’t you care? Do you or don’t you want more for yourself? What is the truth?

If you want to understand yourself better, the first thing you have to do is stop deflecting and be completely honest about what you feel. “Numbness” is merely a defense mechanism, a way to cover one’s true feelings, especially the true extent of one’s pain. You won’t understand the problem fully until you access that pain. Everyone has within them a voice that guides them toward self-actualization, so it’s time for you to start listening to it.

Mental disorders are similar to physical diseases; the longer you leave them, the worse they get. Left untreated, depression worsens over time as your life gradually falls apart and you feel as though you have less and less to live for. It sounds like you’ve left the problem festering for too long. PMDD might require medical attention to ensure there’s nothing wrong with your hormone levels, so consult with your doctor. If your doctor doesn’t take it seriously (due to gender bias and discrimination), keep looking until you find a doctor who does. Depression is treatable with cognitive behavioral therapy, so my recommendation is to seek help from a qualified therapist.

If you really don't have any access to therapy, you could at the very least educate yourself about depression and implement some practical advice about how to change some unhealthy thought patterns and poor lifestyle choices. Most major cities have public mental health resources available. The internet has great official resources about how to care better for your mental health. I have also discussed it and recommended books about it. What resources are available to you and have you made use of them? How much longer will you sit and wait? Sitting and waiting is how one gets trapped in a rut.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

S i had a totally cute thought u should hear. I think Steve has a major want for praise and comfort, especially bc he’s always so hard on himself that he doesn’t need others to criticize him as well. What if every week or so, Bucky just pampered Steve a bit to show how much he appreciates Steve and all he does? Like he’ll make Steve dinner and put on some tv show Steve’s been meaning to watch, maybe give him a massage on his shoulders or hands to relax him a bit throughout, try out a new face mask or cleanser with Steve, then get into some really soft pjs and fresh bedding.

All the while he’s just letting praises fall from his mouth, “did such a good job on those missions this week, baby, you think I didn’t notice?” “I saw you looking at that recipe again to make Nat, you’re always so considerate of others” “you need ta take more naps, honey, I’ve seen your sleep schedule. I’ll stop anything I’m doin’ to pet your hair and get you to sleep for a little bit, just say the word and I’m there, sweetheart”

This. This is BUCKY'S wet dream. However. With Cap!Steve... I don't think he'd let him do it often/if ever.

I don't think Cap would allow himself to acknowledge that part of himself y’know, but, you can bet your ass Bucky knows about this part of him. (I'm think modern Bucky here obviously.) Unless it was tied to something else Steve would have a very hard time with this (I imagine his internal monologue is something of "you don't need this." "You don't deserve this." "You're weak for wanting this." But just towards himself, if anyone else were in his shoes he'd be in Bucky's position, just trying to take care of them.) Those special cerumstances may be:

Maybe a bad mission.

Maybe he hasn't gotten to go under for a while and the mission was so long that he needs the attention.

Maybe he experienced a subdrop.

Maybe he misses his Ma, the howlies, Peggy, the boys from his neighborhood, etc. more than usual.

Maybe he just is feeling it extra.

Who knows? These particular mental things are hard to pin down.

But-

He doesn't let Bucky do this kind of pampering often so when Bucky gets the chance to do it... He goes all in. He does all of the mentioned things-

Makes him food, checkmark. Yup. And if Bucky can convince Steve he'll probably also hand feed him some. What kinda food? It depends on the crash/cause of what's letting him relax and have this. Usually its sweets because even though Steve isn't a sweets guy normally, he really doesn't ever let himself have them. And it is Bucky’s job to spoil him. (For those sweets- think Mexican Coke that tastes WAY more like the coke that Steve would've grown up drinking than what you can buy in the states now. Think old candies that he had as a kid but also candies Bucky had as a kid that he wants to share or that Steve has found enjoyable after trying. Think sweet, flakey, fruit-based pastries from the bakery down the street.)

Puts on a show or movie- yup. Yup. Yup. A lot of different shows/movies are cycled through; sometimes it's classics from Steve's time, if Bucky can find them, sometimes they're classics from Bucky's time. Sometimes they're shows recommended by friends. Light shit. Shit that will make Steve giggle when he's less tipping over the edge and more safely cradled by Bucky. They watch together or Steve watches while Bucky works him over with this routine.

Massages. Hand massages. Y E S . Steve has the serum, sure, but because of the serum his body is apt to make extra thick calluses, overdoing it a bit. Calluses that split. Calluses that Steve himself doesn't take care of because he always falls back on the serum, saying, "it'll take care of itself" even though before it does it causes him a lot of pain. Sharp pain, not a dull ache, because he's always using his hands and he's always re-ripping them. PLUS he also boxes to try and get himself back to Earth before "bothering" Bucky a lot of the time so he'll just make those calluses Even Worse. So yeah, yes, yup. Bucky massages his hands after bandaging them up safely until he melts into puddy in his seat.

Cleansers / face masks / self care stuff. Yesss. Although, I get the feeling anything too gooey weirds Steve out because it reminds him too much of the shit that comes out of aliens upon slaughter, so they steer clear of that. Also, they usually find themselves not doing that/only doing it briefly because Steve is apt to fall asleep anywhere and ruin his masks or the furniture or Bucky's clothes... depending on where he's sleeping.

Soft. Pajamas. STEVE IS A SLUT FOR SOFT THINGS BUT HE WONT ADMIT IT. Hes admitted to Bucky a few times that it feels wrong or makes him feel like an imposter- to own such delicate, soft things even though he craves them. The serum made him hyper sensitive and while he no longer notices it on a day to day he notices when he slips into or against anything soft. Blankets. Clothes. Pillows. Animals. Whatever it is, when he touches purposefully or accidentally, and he feels just how soft it is... he gasps. Everytime. To solve this problem, Bucky keeps an entire section in their walk in closet, on his side, that's specifically for soft things. All of said soft things - PJs, underwear, sweatshirts, etc. - they're all Steve's size because Bucky surely doesn't mind having oversized clothes and while he can fit into Steve's clothes, Steve can't fit into Bucky's.

Fresh bedding specifically though- oh hell yes. Bucky makes sure to find the softest fabric softener and soap that's got a nice scent that isn't too strong for Steve's hyper senses and he washes them when he knows Steve is on the way back, even if they've just been washed so he can wrap Steve up in their warm duvet, fresh from the dryer, and have him sit in the lounge chair they've got in the corner of their bedroom while he puts the sheets on. Then he unravels Steve from his burrito and lays him out on the bed and finished making the bed over top of him.

Praise yes. A lot of that praise falls on Steve as he's sleeping. But Bucky can't keep himself from talking, even if he knows his boyfriend can't actually hear it- its a comfort for them both. (The first time Bucky praises him like that, truly is praising him, cooing at him while his head is in his lap, Steve all but fucking mewls. He's never made a sound like that in his LIFE but Bucky says that and its everything he didn't realize he was missing.)

Bonus-

If Steve's coming straight home from a mission they'll do all of the above but before any of it, Bucky warms up the shower, gets the bathroom full of steam, and ushers Steve in there. Stripping away his blood and gore covered shield and carefully undoing, unlatching, and unzipping his tac-suit to reveal his still powerful but battered body. If he's just grimy with sweat, Bucky will kiss his way through the process. Kissing from his mouth to his shoulders to his hands, back up to his shoulders and down his body. Covering him in affection. Noting that he's in one piece and safe and sound now. If it's more than just sweat he'll wait until he's washed his body for him, sudsing him up and rinsing him with his bare hands and then laying kisses all down his squeaky clean skin until the water begins to chill vaguely. At which point they leave the shower. Steve hates the cold.

[carltonlassie]

Just thinking about how today a guy at work said my idea for a hackathon week (=a week to try out and learn new things you've never done before) is a waste of time because it won't yield anything tangible. """In his experience""" (experience as what? He's never done anything like this before!) it's a waste of time. He kept on cutting me off to say the same thing over and over, saying in his view it's a waste of time and a bad project. Ok for more context I said we should get an account of the information the users care about the most so we can translate that into a design. Bc what's the point of just putting random shit together if none of it's based on what the users actually need. but apparently it's a waste of time to understand what the users really want and we should force our ideas onto them bc users don't know anything lol. And then he proceeded to ask people to vote for his idea which he already had prior agreement with his posse? (Why are we voting? This is a week for me to try out new things and if I wanna do something I'll do it, I don't need people's vote to do what I wanna do? It also seemed like my vote didn't matter since his had majority vote from his posse.... And they're gonna do it anyways regardless of it gets votes or not) so What is SO wrong with me wanting to try out something new. Whereas he can just do something that half of the team doesn't even know about. He says this is gonna yield crucial impact but I can argue the same thing that his idea is a waste of time and it could be better spent fixing stupid bugs his posse introduces daily?

Ugh anyways I really hope I can switch to the design team. I feel like my talents are wasted here because I'm honestly doing whatever they're telling me to do because I CAN do it but it doesn't mean I enjoy doing it... I think that's the thing. I CAN do all the things im doing rn and I'm pretty good at it but I don't see a future in this? I can take up another job on a whim but I think I'll run into the same problem of apathy and lack of ambition towards the """"""career trajectory""""""" these people love to harp on about. I simply don't see a trajectory where I'd be happy doing this but with even more responsibility and miniscule pay increase. The rubric they hand out for different levels is so funny because I've been kinda doing all that since the very beginning. They've loaded so much work onto me that I've juggled, idk, 5 different roles! I'm sending out marketing emails (marketing team/PM role), creating ui/ux mockups (designer role), doing testing (QA role), working on infrastructure (DevOps role), answering customer questions (customer support role), and on top of that he's been making me lead team fun and games sessions/baby showers/parties and general glue role that doesn't get recognized when it comes to promotion cycles (idk, emotional labor role), doing elevator pitches, presentations and demos (Sales role), and all this is on top of my regular job title Software Engineer lmao what the hell I'm a one man band and they're throwing pennies at me to do this stupid jig?? Anyways. The point is that the rubric is funny because I'm doing all of it already and I'm not even motivated to apply for promotion. I actually never want to apply for promotion because then it will be EVEN more work for not that much pay increase. And I don't want to be doing the same kind of work any more. And it's not an issue of my team nor my company because engineering is just boring like this. Never given enough time and resources that people write shitty code... And the company trying to hire "rock star' developers who they can exploit rather than taking the time to train someone to do good.

At least when I'm on the design team I'd be able to do more stuff that's interesting to me. Like, I wanna know how to best display the information for ease of use. I wanna try to do rapid prototyping where I generate twenty different ideas and pare it down to get to the best solution. Problem solving as an engineer role is so limited by frameworks that you should use (or what's the most trendy and therefore should use) and we're not given enough time to truly try out different options. I guess I got pretty close to doing something like that with my current one but the upper management thought it was a waste of time to explore and do this right because they wanted user facing features with High Impact and Revenue Right Now. So we got pressured into wrapping it up asap and still are getting pressured when the only resource allocated is me and this other guy. And two contractors. One dropped out and we never got a replacement lol. Uggghhh anyways. I hope I'm not escaping reality by thinking the design team would be better lol. I'm sure it has its fair share of problems but I think culture wise too......, I don't think I want to work with my coworkers anymore lmao

[teruthecreator]

okay. thoughts on the grad finale

gonna slap it under a readmore bc i’m Sure i’m gonna ramble. 

uh spoiler warning for the finale of taz graduation, as well as spoilers for the season in general.

also, these are my own thoughts of how the season went, what the themes were, etc! if you don’t agree with me, that’s fine! but i don’t wanna have a convo w you in the replies about it i’ll be honest. if you want to share your opinion so badly, make your own post, alright? that good? we cool?

aight. so. finale thoughts.

to make it short: i think the finale was a satisfying end of a very good arc. 

to expand upon that, let me share what i think the themes of graduation were and why the finale satisfies those themes. 

i made a post about this a while back (here it is if you want) but my honest belief was that the theme of graduation was self-reliance: the concept that you don’t allow yourself to be governed by forces that go against your own beliefs. this concept was coined by essayist ralph waldo emerson to talk about how the american people shouldn’t allow the government to create laws that go against the will of the people. now, understandably, this feels very anti-capitalist which is what i think a lot of fans believed was reflected through the season. 

but, in reality, self-reliance has more to do with being active in your government and making sure you’re being represented the way you want to be by your representatives. that’s sort of the vibe emerson was going for in his essay, and i think. in a sense? that translates to graduation. but i took self-reliance in the more metaphorical about breaking away from those things that are controlling you. which, in graduation, was A Lot Of Things. 

the way i saw it, there were two major groups that inflicted order upon the world and the thundermen--conveniently separated as order and chaos (not the deities though, just the concepts). 

the order half of control existed mostly through the school and the HOG. the HOG created the economic reliance on the heroes and villains system, which removed all literal meaning from those terms and turned them into bureaucratic titles. society existed under these very strict checks and balances; heroes and villains supplied money to the kingdom in terms of entertainment, which then boosted that kingdom’s creditability and allowed them to contribute more to nua’s economy, which then led heroes and villains to have a higher demand, thus perpetuating the cycle. it’s important to note that this term does not represent the sort of morality we expect for heroes and villains--hell, even the term “evil” turned into an arbitrary term used to show those heroes and villains who failed the system. this is the more prominent representation of control that the thundermen break away from in achieving their own self-reliance. they don’t see the value in a system that holds no real moral code (fitzroy Especially, but i’ll get into that in a bit), and can’t help the public when there’s actually a serious situation. as we saw with althea in the beginning, the HOG had no way to help the thundermen when they were dealing with the whole Demon Prince situation (as he had already placed some of his own people in there, proving these kind of systems are easily corruptible). so this wasn’t a system meant to Actually create heroes and villains--it was just a way of boosting the economy. 

the chaos half of control existed primarily through grey and Chaos. grey represented how chaos could be controlled, through various means. he planted that tree for the centaurs to fight over because he knew it would constantly create conflict, which he enjoyed. he kept the school under a watchful eye to prevent anyone from stepping out of line with his grand ideas, and used several manipulation tactics to try and get his way (most notably, his own admittance of grooming fitzroy into joining his side, which didn’t work). grey was the perfect example of how chaos does not automatically mean a lack of control. he was very controlling in how he did things because he had an endgoal: find hieronymous and have a war. but he didn’t even realize he was contributing to a greater idea, that being Chaos’s insistence on causing general disarray. as we realize now, Chaos’s plan was both for them and Order, but i’m leaving Order out for a second because they only really rear their head in towards the end. for the most part, audiences were led to assume that Chaos was the Big Bad(TM); they were the one pulling the strings, allowing things to happen to cause general chaos and disarray. them supplying random mortals with their endless power was a way to plant chaos into the world of nua; but it was a chaos they controlled. fitzroy resisting them was not simply a refusal to bend to Chaos, but it was resisting the control put on him through his magic. 

these systems were constricting the thundermen on both sides. when they thought they’d find help in one side, they were disappointed to find that there was nothing anyone could do. the only people who could fix their problems were...them. so they forged a new path, set new ideas, and became self-reliant. that’s what i think is the most important aspect of graduation; not the anti-capitalist implications of turning over the economic and political systems in place, but the idea that if nothing that is supposed to help you is actually helping that you can just...do your own thing! 

and i think that’s what the finale really shows, at the end of the day. that these forms of control were not doing anything helpful, and were in fact ruining the fabric of space-time! that’s where i think Order comes in because Order is really...the ultimate culmination of control. they are aware that Everything being done will benefit their cause. the HOG? well, they make sure everybody’s so incompetent that they can do their work. grey? well, he’ll contribute to the plan without even realizing it. they even manipulated Chaos and enacted their own form of control over Chaos to make sure that they had no reason to believe that this plan couldn’t go wrong. but Order knew. Order always knew there was a chance for error, and that chance was very great. but they didn’t care! so long as they had control of things, they could try a hundred times to get it right. they had no care for mortals, unlike Chaos. 

the thundermen showing Chaos the truth is the final jenga piece that collapses this tower of control. which is why the finale is so great. 

travis does a phenomenal job of incorporating chaos (general chaos) into the battle mechanics. it may be stupid and slightly arbitrary, but having them change forms randomly and having to adapt to those new circumstances really does exemplify the season!!! the thundermen were constantly forced into new situations (being sidekicks/henches, fitzroy becoming a villain, being let in on the heiro dog situation, the unbroken chain trial, joining forces w grey, etc.), and in all of them they simply found a way to adapt and keep working their way. which made the finale generally interesting and also thematically interesting! 

i think my favorite part of the entire fight scene is right at the end, when argo chucks the shark’s tooth necklace at Order. and time stops. and they’re given a choice. 

the fact that they leave it to a coin toss?? oh my god...how fucking FITTING!! like, that’s disorderly. that’s going your own way. it’s new, it’s terrifying, it has DIRE UNKNOWNS ON EITHER SIDE, but it’s what they do! and...it ends up working out! i think it would’ve worked out either way, but the fact that they left it up to chance really shows how they aren’t allowing anything to control their actions. 

AND THEN WE GET TO THE EPILOGUE. MY GOD I LOVE THE EPILOGUE I’M GONNA GO OFF SO MUCH. 

first off, i loved hearing how Nua adapts to losing this very significant form of government/economic contributor and turns to more people-based work. citizens uniting together, fixing things, making amends, THAT’S SELF-RELIANCE BABEY!!! THAT’S THE WHOLE EMERSON SHIT! HAVING A SYSTEM OF GOVERNMENT THAT ACTUALLY HAS THE INTERESTS OF THE PEOPLE AT LARGE!!! YEAHHHHHHHHH THAT’S THE WHOLE SELF-RELIANCE THING!

now, i’ll break it down by characters: 

fitzroy

GOD. LOVE IT. FIRST OFF, absolutely ADORED how his character arc involved him stripping himself of these self-assigned titles because he actually has an identity that is all his own and he doesn’t NEED arbitrary titles to prove his worth because HE HAS IT IN HIMSELF. not to self-plug or anything, but that’s ssoss!fitzroy’s WHOLE SHIT. I’VE ALREADY BEEN ON THIS TRAIN, BITCH, AND TO KNOW I GOT IT SO RIGHT...GOD. FEELS GOOD. 

but also, i just really enjoy how his ending went in general. the fact that he doesn’t really know what he wants to do, so he just...does stuff he likes to do? that’s so good! because, if you remember, fitzroy had a Very set schedule of life events when the campaign started. he was going to get his wiggenstaffs degree, go back knight school, get his knight school degree, and then go to goodcastle. but all of that was based on a very limited understanding of himself. 

fitzroy’s character arc has primarily focused finding himself, specifically in terms of identity. for someone who was bullied for his past, the present formation of himself was Extremely important to fitzroy. he thought that shutting out his past and taking on this grandiose title of knighthood would make him something more than himself. he would no longer be fitzroy; the poor, country kid trying to make it in a big world. he’d be Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt; respected, honored, revered, with a title to prove it. 

he explains to fauxronymous (pre-reveal grey) that the reason he wanted to be a knight was because he wanted to assist in doing good. morally good. fitzroy has Always had a very clear sense of his morality; this comes through when he refuses Chaos on the basis of many people having to die if he agreed. but being a knight also had the added of bonus of a very respectable title that no one would want to look beyond, which fitzroy felt he needed because...i don’t think he Saw anything beyond that. in himself. he wasn’t himself for a very long time, and i don’t know if he ever thought he would be again. he’d wear this new identity, start a new life, and be happier....he hoped. 

then, things changed! and he started to realize that arbitrary titles don’t do shit because plenty of people with Big Important Titles ended up being Awful People! so he started to value himself For Himself; his wit, his humor, his strength, his magical prowess. and, i think, he started to wonder what knighthood was Really about. was it about upholding a moral good? or was it just another bureaucracy filled with people who won’t do shit when things get bad. 

i think this is why him becoming a lawyer is fitting. especially because of the reasoning he gives sylvia nite. now for A LOT OF PEOPLE, i’m sure they hear lawyer and assume some corporate hotshot who doesn’t give a shit about people. but fitzroy is Not applying to be a corporate laywer. he SPECIFICALLY telsl sylvia that he wants to help people who cannot help themselves, and he wants to do good in that way. THAT kind of lawyer is more of the pro-bono, district lawyer. the ones that don’t make crazy amounts of cash, but help those who cannot afford lawyers and represent them when the government is fucking them over. those lawyers don’t rely on title, they rely on principle. 

that’s the perfect representation of fitzroy’s growth. holding his identity within himself, while still trying to do good by those who need it. 

firbolg (aka gary) 

i think the firbolg’s ending is so unique but so...right for him. his character arc has really been focused around finding his family. he had one, in the beginning, in his clan. but that didn’t end up, y’know...working out that much. so he had to go out into the world alone--something that firbolg’s are rarely--and try and navigate these foreign spaces all by himself. 

we see very early on how he latches onto the idea of groups. he likes being considered a part of the thundermen; he very much hoists himself upon the CFO title and wears it proudly. i think, where fitzroy needed to find identity within himself, the firbolg needed to find it within other people. which is completely okay! he’s still an individual, but you can tell he finds comfort in numbers because that’s what he is used to. 

him going back to his clan was, i believe, his finally severance with his identity as “firbolg”. he would never be welcomed back to his clan, and one of the few people in his life who supported him was now dead. but his father was proud of him; his father was happy he seemed to find his own clan, even if it wasn’t with other firbolgs. from that moment on, i think the firbolg begins to try finding himself within the thundermen. within his friends.

so his epilogue is neat! it definitely captures the loneliness he feels on his own, and how he feels lost with himself without others. i think it might seem silly to some that he would become a gary, but i think it’s fitting. the garys were always present in his time at school, and they were always helpful. they didn’t mind how long it took him to talk because the gary’s are stone gargoyles--what the fuck do they care about time? it was a group that the firbolg saw as familiar to him--always willing to help, slow, stony, and attuned to a larger group. 

and i think the way gary takes this idea of unity and family and puts it into financial assistance just...it just ties everything together! we saw how attached he got to the concept of finances, thanks to his very confusing accounting class. so he had all of this new knowledge--this knowledge that represented a separation from firbolgs--and this new clan. and he used it to help other clans and families!! i think the fact that the Garys financial advice works specifically with groups is what makes this so fitting. because gary wants families to feel stable within themselves; he understands how finances can create struggle and divides, and he wants to provide relief. 

giving financial advice to communities so they rely on themselves and not the government (aka inviting them to be controlled once more) is a VERY self-reliant concept. not that i think gary’s goal is to have no social networks to exist, but he wants to give communities the ability to rely on one another and foster that feeling of togetherness. so groups aren’t fighting over things, but are trusting and loving and relying. 

just like gary’s always wanted. and just like what he has with the thundermen.

argo 

argo’s ending is probably the funniest, but also the sweetest. i think that argo’s character arc revolved around finding his place. we see how argo’s early personality and motivations revolved around his past. he very much had a revenge story since the start; he wanted to enact revenge on the commodore for murdering his mother, no matter what it took. which made him very limited!! in terms of the self. he saw himself less for what he was now, and what he was then. and what he couldn’t do then. 

we see how much he finds comfort in being a part of the thundermen, but also how he feels...out of place. i think this is because a part of him is still attached to his past and doesn’t think he can do anything beyond his set plan. the unbroken chain certainly contributes to this, by not only separating him from the trio but also reinforcing his connection to his past through his mother’s involvement in the unbroken chain. 

the commodore also being a part of the unbroken chain is, i think, what causes the shift from past to present within argo. his life’s goal is standing right in front of him--attached to the group his mother once was a part of--with his friends at his side. letting the thundermen in on his history is the start of bridging these two halves of argo. and the fact that the thundermen are so willing to helps makes argo feel more a part of the team and more a part of this reality. 

when he kills the commodore, it isn’t intense. it isn’t overly dramatic (minus the fight prior, which was BADASS), it isn’t crazily staged. it is argo, staring down the commodore who lies prone on the ground. 

he kills himself unceremoniously and completes his life-long mission. 

what becomes of him in the epilogue is the culimination of both past and present. he takes what he knows and loves (the sea, the mariah, sailing) and blends it with what he’s come to love now (his friends, this adventure, and making people happy). there are SO many instances where argo uses performance to his advantage. this man is piloted by clint mcelroy, of COURSE he’s going to have a flair for the dramatic. 

so for him to open up a themed cruiseline, based on the stories of him and his friends? SO FITTING. and it isn’t forcing himself to leave his past behind or to completely ignore his present circumstances. because he’s found a place in the now, in the merging of these two sides. and by merging them, he paints a bright future for himself. a future that is partially known, partially not. partially old, partially new.

but it’s all his. 

after that, i think their final scene is just...sweet. a nice, jovial, joking send-off to a nice season. it proves these people have grown and will continue to grow, even when we no longer see their story. it does exactly what graduation does--shows you a struggle, a triumph, and a glimpse into the future. 

i’ll miss it so much, but there’s nothing more i could’ve asked of this ending. it was exactly what it needed to be; nothing more, nothing less. 

[toxicsamruby]

comparative post abt supernatural and revolutionary girl utena :( tw for incest, csa, abuse, and a brief mention of suicide. Also, spoilers for rgu.

supernatural and revolutionary girl utena (the anime. i havent seen the movie or read the manga this post is abt the show only) hit a lot of the same thematic notes and it is really striking because supernatural seems to hit them by accident and ends up with a totally different conclusion and when you compare it to rgu actually ends up endorsing everything that rgu criticized.

revolutionary girl utena is a surrealist show about ohtori academy, which is removed from reality and controlled by a godlike figure, akio. akio maintains his own power through grooming the students in his care and having them reproduce power dynamics, namely the system of gender, through abuse, violence, and bullying. akio sexually abuses his own younger sister, anthy, and multiple other students over the course of the show, and in turn, boys in attendance at this school learn abusive patterns of behavior while girls are conditioned to accept them. the key themes of the show are cycles of abuse, violence in gender roles, and the way interpersonal gender-based abuse feeds into the larger system of gender and misogyny and vice versa. the fact that ohtori is so removed from reality, that all the fighting and abuse that takes place inside of it is isolated from the "real world," is important; extremely stringent gender roles are reified as natural and necessary, as is akio's power, despite the fact both are social constructs.

surface level, supernatural couldn't be more different, yeah. but it actually does hit similar notes: the system of hunting is removed from the "real world," and although the characters tend to weave between the supernatural and normal worlds, there is always a level of separation between them and normalcy, there's always the sense that the supernatural world is almost entirely distinct from the normal one. even when they do mix, the subplot is resolved, and by the next episode or the next season the mix is forgotten about, as if the real world had never been touched by the supernatural at all. it is considered of paramount importance that "normal people" are never told about hunting but never explained why (this rule, at least originally, is made by john. an abusive figure of authority making arbitrary rules of isolation to control the children in his charge? hm.)

this level of isolation between the supernatural and the "real world" helps to reify the concept of monstrosity itself: within the world of hunting, anything other than human is a monster, even though these definitions are constantly shifting and the consequences for monstrosity change frequently. we are shown over and over again, textually, that there are many many sentient monsters with thoughts and feelings and emotions and needs and desires, who are just as morally complex as any human beings, but most of them end up under the control of hunters or exterminated anyway. why IS a monster a monster? the separation of hunting from normalcy serves to keep people from asking that question. the system of hunting is so entrenched in the world of the supernatural, and the world of the supernatural is so separated from normalcy, that the concept of monstrosity is considered to be natural and necessary. where a "normal" person might ask why those vampires in 'last holiday' had to be killed bc they didn't really do anything wrong on screen, hunters know that monsters need to die because that's the rules of the supernatural world.

in rgu, akio maintains his control of ohtori through the hierarchy of gender. that's how the school is structured, with boys playing a specific role and girls playing the counterpart role. akio needs that system, because it's what facilitates his abuse of anthy, and his abuse of anthy (and similar relationships where boys abuse girls and more specifically brothers abuse sisters) is what gives the rest of the system permission to continue existing. touga grooms and later sexually assaults his younger sister nanami. touga is a human child, no older than 16 years old, and was himself groomed by akio and the system in which he lives. his abuse of nanami is a manifestation of that system. these abusive relationships allow and are allowed by the system. at the end of the show, utena and anthy, two girls abused by akio, help one another escape not only their abuser but the school which permitted and fed off of their abuse. their escape doesn't destroy akio or ohtori or the system as a whole, but it puts a crack in it. it serves as a example to other abused children, and offers a path to healing. overall, its a genuinely impactful story about how gendered abuse happens, how damaging sibling abuse and incest is, and how a system of power both facilitates and depends upon abusive relationships happening within it.

the interesting thing about this is that supernatural's system of power is different (monsters and humans instead of girls and boys), but it's also enforced in similar ways by the god figure (well. the literal biblical god, actually. chuck.) in supernatural. monsters and human beings are divinely separated both in the afterlife (despite the arbitrary nature of the difference between them) and on earth (chuck has written down everything ahead of time, especially surrounding the protagonist hunters and their way of life). sam is established very early on to be monstrous, first because of the demon blood, then as lucifer's chosen vessel, later as soulless. each time, he needs to be brought back under human/hunter control, meaning dean's control. dean's authority over sam (and later his abuse of him) is in part a manifestation of the accepted power dynamic of hunter over monster, which is established at the beginning of season 2 when john tells dean that he might have to kill sam if he becomes a monster.

in rgu, the only acceptable male-female dynamic is controller and controlled, protector and protected, abuser and abused. women can only be witches, like anthy, or princesses, like nanami. in supernatural, the only acceptable human-monster dynamic is the same. monsters can only be 1. dead, or 2. under the control or supervision of a human/hunter. most end up dead, of course, but sam was always under the supervision of dean. it's at dean's discretion whether or not to kill sam in season 2, it's dean who's trying to get control of sam all through seasons 4 and 6. because of sam's self hatred about his monstrosity and "disappointing dean," he nearly kills himself at the end of season 8, and dean again makes major decisions for sam. the imbalanced dynamic between them is in large part because sam's humanity is always in question, and it's always up to dean to protect him, to control him, to put him down if need be. in supernatural, the imbalanced relationship btwn sam and dean is facilitated by the rules of the supernatural world, and it is because they can't break out of this power imbalance that they are so completely incapable of rethinking the system of hunting.

of course, it isn't 100% dean's fault. he was given the responsibility of Sam by john and by the bigger system of hunting. touga was groomed and most likely abused by akio, and it was only in imitation and admiration of akio that he abused nanami in the first place. in the context of hunting, it's dean's job to do harm, because that's the job that's been assigned to him by his father, the larger power system, and chuck. he was abused, and he also suffers by being forced into this role- he can't really connect with the people he cares about in a meaningful way. that's how the cycle continues.

the weird difference between the two? the system of hunting is never actually criticized, and the relationship between dean and sam is never addressed as abuse. so while revolutionary girl utena is a thoughtful and compassionate exploration of sibling abuse and gender, supernatural is a hamfisted action story that validates unhealthy family dynamics and eugenicist ideas about "monsters" that aren't really monsters at all. so at the end of rgu, utena and anthy break free of ohtori and akio. they end the cycles of abuse and are finally able to see each other outside of the roles prescribed to them by an abusive system. at the end of supernatural, the cycle isn't broken, the idea of monstrosity remains unrefuted, and sam and dean never see each other any differently than they always have.

[fairycosmos]

i have to agree any1 ik who wants kids is usually thinking its a good idea for selfish reasons! just adopt there are so many kids who need love who are already on this planet. why do you have to have one that looks exactly like you?

honestly!! dude it’s SAD like ugh. that’s a whole level of consciousness you’re imposing on someone for the next 80+ years completely divorced from you as a person. children aren’t just extensions of their parents yk. like what gives you the right to create a human being because it fits your own fleeting personal agenda/wants. do they even realize how much it fucks a child up to be born for selfish reasons - they’re contributing to a never ending cycle of toxicity and abuse. ppl think i’m overreacting but i feel like being a parent is a job you NEED to overreact to because it’s so so important. seems like most walk into it blindly,  having no idea about it. the weight of parenthood and how absolutely delicate and crucial and thankless it is. it’s weird and it’s even weirder how normalized it is to be a shitty or accidental parent, to be a parent at all. it’s such a big deal. it’s like giving a random person the chance to fly a plane. yet everyone looks at you as if you’re talking shit when you’re a woman who doesn’t plan to have kids. theyre like ‘whose going to look after you when you’re old?’ first of all i might not even make it that far and if i do i’ll be sitting by ur side in the nursing home where your kids dumped you because they have lives to lead that you forced on them when you weren’t ready to support them LOL. if i am ever financially and emotionally stable i would love to have kids later in life, biological or otherwise, but i’m not going to lie myself about whether or not current me can handle it. i agree!! the state of the foster care system plus the amount of kids in need of adoption really proves to me that the majority of ppl do not want to be parents and they’re not equipped to be either. they would never go out of their way to be. they just want little dolls they can dress up, or they end up having kids just because they don’t know what their next step is in life, or to save their marriage, or because of a thoughtless hook up (which, you do you no judgment but it’s not the best environment 2 bring a child into.) i don’t get it dude. im literally 20 and almost every girl i know from school has had a kid already and i’m always just in awe that they seem to handle it day after day. bc i know i couldn’t, and i know a lot of their situations are not ideal :/ it just sux. kids dont ask to be born yk. ngl some of my childhood anger may be coming out here but DJKAKZ point still stands i swear

[zhuhongs]

Since rewatching the guardian drama after reading the novel has made me mad about how bad and good both of them are I am Obligated to write out a list of what I think the perfect merger btw both versions of canon are. This will be in list format otherwise I’ll end up writing like 6k words again. 

TLDR: the genre stays as supernatural from the novel and not Sci fi, bc that was rlly not fleshed out well. Shen Wei is a ghost king, and all the dixingren are ghosts or demons like originally intended. The ghost race naturally exists and wasn't born from kunluns shoulder fire or anything. They just exist separate from humans. Not all ghosts are former humans, some people are just born as ghosts, like Shen Wei. Zhao Yunlan has the guardian whip and all the cool stuff that comes with the Guardian order.  Overall, i’d keep the novel’s plot and relationship progression and ending without the backstory. Instead the backstory is a merger of both canons. From the drama I’d keep the characterization and themes as well as like half the extra cases and omit the other half. 

I’ll be elaborating much further on my ideal backstory and other stuff under the cut bc the rest is 1.5k and I don’t wanna clog the dash 

Okay SO In my ideal backstory there are two timelines just like the drama but the mythology of the book. The god Kunlun is actually zyl that went back in time and became a god. But the one that went back isn’t the current Zhao Yunlan. There has to be an original timeline where the god Kunlun never existed. Thus the great seal nor the separation of the three realms don’t exist either. Zhao Yunlan must go back in time to become a god, meet Shen Wei in the past, and create the current timeline where the separation exists but isn’t perfect. The current timeline is the one that the majority of the series takes place in.

In the original timeline, Zhao Yunlan is just some dude living in a world where ghosts, fairies, and all other beings just live in a giant free for all and it's kinda just a mess. 

Like there’s government in modern context and all and all races live with each other but there's constant tension. ZYL works at some equivalent of the SID (same staff and side characters, but novel vers. Lin Jing is a monk, CSZ a zombie, etc) to protect people and all that and their job is rather hard. One day encounters the thousands year old ghost king Wei (who isnt shen wei yet bc zyl gave him that name in the future) who works alone as like a rouge cultivator of sorts. He lives on the surface undercover as a professor still bc he’s trying to not catch Yezun’s attention but does all the stuff he normally does as Heipaoshi. The two ally together for a case and bc they both have the same goals of getting all races to live in peace. At current, there are forces working together to decimate the human race, all lead by Yezun

As they work together they become closer and all that. Shen Wei tells him about how he was unable to prevent the great war 5 thousand years ago and neither could the gods so  he’s spent the past 5 thousand years trying to make up for it. As they search for ways to stop Yezun, they gather the 4 hallows and learn how to use them to manipulate time so ZYL can go into the past and stop the great war and separate the three realms (living, dead, ghost).  Shen Wei wants to go back with him but he can’t because he was alive all those years ago so if he goes back it will create a paradox. ZYL promises he’ll find Shen Wei in the past and create a timeline where they could be together in peace (that is the current timeline)

When goes back he becomes the god kunlun because there needed to be a new god born at the time to prevent the war.  Also this time traveller looked promising to Nuwa, Fuxi, and Shennong. And I know in the guardian universe gods are usually born and ppl don’t become gods. EXCEPT this can happen when a god passes on smth from their body onto them bc that did happen in the novel with Kunlun making shen wei a demigod. And since fu you and ma gui are supposed to be gods Nu Wa and Fuxi I think that when they die, they should make ZYL a god and that's how this stuff happens.

So like ZYL explains to the gods the time he came from and how he wants to save everything and they make him a god and he works to save everything just like he did in the drama but this time with the novel plotline. During this time he meets young Shen Wei (he’s still like a hundred or so years old) and they get close and all the stuff from the backstory happens. He gives him his name, all that good stuff. The entire time doesn’t let him know that he’s from the future or that his real name is ZYL. He just poses as kunlun. 

The two of them alongside the other gods (who still die at the times they do in the novel) work together to end the war and establish the great seal and set up the cycle of reincarnation, per the current timeline. Although the seal and cycle of reincarnation aren’t perfect. Gods can’t reincarnate, and ghosts still don’t have souls. And just like the novel, doing all of this kills ZYL bc it takes a lot of energy to create the seal even though it isn’t perfect.

Shen Wei of course doesn’t want ZYL to die and zyl says it's alright because he fixed the timeline so there must One day they will meet again and ZYL reveals the truth about the timeline to shen wei before he dies. This becomes the promise that Shen Wei mentions to meet again. Before he dies, ZYL gives him the shoulder fire as a memento ( i still like the candy wrapper necklace deal but i’ll take this too. Maybe both.. The pendant is still just rlly cool.. Gay ppl)

Shen Wei knows gods can’t enter the cycle of reincarnation and still makes the deal with Shennong to strip Kunlun of his godhood and let him reincarnate. This sets us into the novel timeline where isn’t allowed to meet any of zyl’s reincarnations before he becomes zyl otherwise he will die and also fuck up the timeline. The same 5 thousand years of pining still ensue bc Gay Ppl and i love making Shen Wei suffer but he doesn’t have the shrine room thing bc i think thats weird and yea.. Bad. 

In the meantime Shen Wei does a lot of things mostly just protecting the great seal and working for Hell to keep the peace but still does other stuff. He still watches out for ZYL’s reincarnations but doesn’t do much besides make sure they don’t die a premature death. They meet again finally at the beginning of the series and the timeline resumes like canon. And that's my master plan that merges both drama logic and novel logic while making a much better timeline. (I hope that makes some sense)

Da Qing is still Kunlun’s pet cat and important. Novel backstory applies to him. And I already mentioned him kinda but as for Yezun (Gui Mian in the novel) his deal is similar as in the drama but just a ghost. And he is a big player in the great war, he thought Shen Wei abandoned him as a kid but they were just separated. Shen Wei doesn’t know it's him till the end of the war and couldn’t stop him in the OG timeline and vows to bring him to justice and make amends. Shen Wei continuously tries to explain things to him but he just won’t listen and is imprisoned in hell bc yk… war criminal stuff and yeah he’s the main antagonist trying to break the great seal bc he’s still made about the past. Idk. Yezun wasn’t well written in the novel OR the drama so like… honestly he just needs to be completely rewritten and I don’t care enough about that. He can just be a weak villain idk

the drama characterization stays the same for everyone else bc found family go brr. However for Lao Chu i… hmm… i think he should still be a zombie but the reason he killed someone should be related to his brother. I like that addition and then shen wei realized his sentence was unjust and exempted him. i like that storyline merger. bc the brother thing and him admiring Heipaoshi was drama only. in the novel lao chu just murdered some kid for a rlly whatever reason.

uhhh in terms of the cases… id make adjustments to most of them. i think the li qian case should be like the drama bc the novel just had her as a murderer and it was boring. 

For the mountain river awl one was fine… novel version was funnier and more interesting action wise tbh… rip zyl and his exorbitant flirting. uhhh the whole reveal that shen wei was the soul reaper thing was kinda… ehh in the novel but i did love the comedy of afterwards Shen Wei pretending he went into cardiac arrest when he actually just… has no pulse bc he's a ghost. 

ID KEEP THE WORTH IT SCENE AND RAIN SCENE… THOSE FUCK SO HARD… I love the drama for adding those every damn day. the novel version of zyl losing his sight sucked and was sooo boring.  Keep the drama version on that.

also id keep dr. cheng. i'm very pro dr. cheng and her friendship with shen wei it adds so much to his character imo. keep the fruit seller man and his wife for the merit brush..omg it adds SO MUCH the way the drama did it.. like the drams build up with the novels pace of that arc.. mwah. it felt like it dragged a bit in the drama but if it went faster and without the hospital ep and with sha ya (sorry sha ya) that would've been so good. tho keep novel version of da qings memory loss and lao li. that was rlly impactful.

id say keep some of the cases like the mirror one, the eyes doctor one, etc. just to like.. yk have more to fill in general.. novel pacing but drama characterization without the bs that wasn't fully realized. and novel ending ofc. And that’s it!!

I hope most of this makes some amount of sense  but it probably doesn’t. In my head it all tracks but like ik most of u don’t know anything about the novel so this sounds like gibberish. Also I know this would literally never happen but this is MY ideal merger of the two canons that I feel compelled to expand on for some reason. Anyways, as io said,, we need to rebuild guardian. Like literally let me and the mutuals write Guardian and it will be 500 times better.

[snkpolls]

SnK Episode 69 Poll Results (for Manga Readers)

The poll closed with 200 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Manga Readers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll, click here.

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RATE THE EPISODE 193 responses

The anime continues on with it’s hot streak, with episode 69 receiving only 1 vote in the negative direction. The vast majority were very pleased with this episode. 

this time the pacing felt quite weird, specially with how they managed the flashbacks. sorry mappa, but for the first time i feel like this was a 7/10 episode

nice i guess.

Beautifully done

It was great especially the confession part hahah

I love MAPPA's takes on the series so far!

Overall, very good episode. MAPPA is doing a great job. 

i liked it!

A little iffy but still solid.

WHICH MOMENT FROM THE PRESENT TIME WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 194 responses

There were many significant moments in this episode, so we opted to divvy up the options. For favorite moments during the present time, Eren’s harsh tone with Hange garnered the highest amount of votes at 34.5%. Not far behind, 26.3% most enjoyed watching the 104th talk about Eren and what happened in Marley. Behind those two scenes were Hange asking Eren why he was talking to himself in the mirror (12.4%), and getting the small zevi crumbs at the end of the episode (8.2%).

WHICH MOMENT FROM THE KIYOMI FLASHBACK WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 192 responses

For the flashback where the Survey Corps meets Kiyomi, nearly half of the fandom (43.2%) were ecstatic to finally see the scene between Historia and Mikasa animated. 24% most enjoyed Eren’s rejection of Zeke’s plan in Historia’s defense. 14.6% were immersed in Hange’s dismay at considering making Historia continue the cycle of children eating their parents, and 12.5% were thrilled to finally see Mikasa reveal her tattoo to Kiyomi. 

Tfw you think MAPPA cut Kiyomi’s drooling scene due to tv lag and later you find out the scene was changed to something equivalent: O__O 

5head pixis made me laugh

WHICH MOMENT FROM THE RAILROAD FLASHBACK WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 193 responses

Eren’s confession at the end of the railroad flashback took the most attention from fans, with 41.5% enjoying that portion the most. 20.2% enjoyed the 104th all discussing who is most suited to inherit Eren’s titan. 19.2% got a kick out of seeing smol Armin chasing around smol Sasha, and 13% were happy to see Levi (and his annoyance that everyone is taller than him). 

Armin's :o face was just adorable! Had forgotten it from the manga

MIKASA REVEALS THE AZUMABITO CLAN SYMBOL AS A TATTOO ON THE TOP OF HER WRIST. THIS IS A RETCON FROM SEASON 1 WHEN WIT REPLACED THE BRANDING WITH EMBROIDERY INSTEAD. THOUGH THE TATTOO IS WHAT’S FAITHFUL TO THE MANGA (MIKASA’S MANGA COUNTERPART HAS ALWAYS HAD THIS), WAS THIS A GOOD DECISION ON MAPPA’S PART? 192 responses

When it comes to the tattoo retcon, opinions seem to be relatively mixed. 22.9% of respondents felt that the retcon was a good move, because they feel that faithfulness to the source material is the most important thing in an adaptation. 21.9% felt it was a mixed situation, because they appreciate faithfulness to the manga, but also prefer for things to have proper continuity. 20.8% agreed that it was a good move, but mainly because the embroidery was “lame and forgettable” anyway. At smaller percentages, 16.1% felt that it wasn’t really a big deal either way since the family symbol was acknowledged regardless, and 9.4% didn’t care at all.

Mix of 3 and last point

Yes because faithfulness to the source material is important and I don't think the existence of the embroidery means that the branding didn't also exist.

No: continuity issues in the anime, but Yes: the embroidery thing was stupid.

1) we never saw the embroidery being kept by mikasa 2) kiyomi could have thought they just found it and stole it from the shogun's descendants' tombs or something. we as manga readers know mikasa is truly a descendant of the shogun, but anime onlies would have thought it could be possible for kiyomi not to trust them. so a tattoo is the best choice

Yes, MAPPA made a good decision. The anime onlies probably don't even remember the embroidery thing anyway. 

Bruh, if I hadn't read the manga, I would've forgotten the Mikasa mom scene.

Options one and two.

HYPOTHETICALLY, IF ONE OF THE 104TH WERE TO INHERIT EREN’S TITAN POWER, WHO DO YOU THINK WOULD BE THE BEST OPTION? 191 responses

The notable majority of respondents feel that Jean would have been the best candidate to inherit Eren’s titan. At a distant second, people would opt for Armin to inherit Eren’s titans (perhaps because he is already a titan anyway). The rest of the characters were relatively evenly chosen.

WHICH “SHIPPY” MOMENT FROM THE EPISODE WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 193 responses

This piechart turned out to be very colorful. Nearly a quarter of respondents couldn’t choose just one moment, so they voted for “all of them.” Behind that, 14.5% most enjoyed the scene where Eren showed determination to ensure Historia wouldn’t have to be sacrificed, 13.5% swooned over Eren and Mikasa’s blushy glances at each other, and 11.9% most enjoyed Connie and Sasha’s increasingly awkward conversation about who’s the bigger idiot. 

I loved the Erehisu moments 

sasha and connie <3<3<3

Erehisu canon

MAPPA DIDN’T INCLUDE THE PART OF THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN ZEKE AND KIYOMI WHERE ZEKE EXPLAINS HIS PARENTAGE, WHY HE SOLD THEM OUT, AND CLAIMS THAT HE’S THE “TRUE ELDIAN RESTORATIONIST.” THOUGHTS? 192 responses

The conversation between Zeke and Kiyomi got shaved down quite a bit, losing the claim of Zeke being “the true Eldian restorationist.” 30.7% aren’t sweating about it and feel it’s something that will be included in a later episode. 27.6% feel that it’s removal isn’t a big deal. 18.7%, on the other hand, feel that losing that moment watered down Zeke’s characterization and would have preferred its inclusion. 8.9% don’t care. 

I feel it will be brought up next episode

I think leaving it out makes the moment with ksaver telling him to sacrifice his parents more impactful to the anime onlies.  

they may have prepared an anime original scene where this is explained, probably at some point. this chapter was loaded with tons of info

I think everything zeke is going to be saved for his big flashback after losing to levi

Maybe they'll include it at the part where Zeke has his flashbacks when he was injured by Levi.

MAPPA ALSO LEFT OUT THE PART OF THE 104TH’S CONVERSATION WHERE ARMIN THEORIZES THAT EREN WOULD BE IN CONTROL OF THE COORDINATE ONCE HE AND ZEKE MAKE CONTACT. THOUGHTS ABOUT THAT? 185 responses

Another dialogue that was axed this episode was Armin brainstorming about who would be in control of the Founding Titan if Eren and Zeke make contact with each other. 35.7% (a small jump from the previous question) feel that this, again, will be included in a later episode. 28.1% feel that its inclusion wasn’t wholly necessary. 18.4% feel that this fact was already obvious anyway, so it doesn’t matter. 10.4% feel that the anime will get to that point so quickly that the exposition isn’t necessary to begin with. 

Armin's motives don't necessarily change either way so I'm fine with the cut. I do hope it's mentioned later on though.

Every episode is only 25 minutes long, so some parts of dialogues need to be removed. 

I honestly think they're going to retcon this so zeke's reverse uno in chap 120 doesn't seem so wild

I do understand that they need to make cuts (and there's still to many manga chapters to fit in the rest of the season) but that one was really important bc they might not explain it fully later on

If they animate Zeke's backstory, it will be there. It would've been nice to show Armin still using his brain though.

DO YOU THINK EREN SEEMED MORE INTIMIDATING IN THE MANGA OR THE ANIME? 191 responses

Manbun Eren was introduced as being intimidating, cold, and generally mean. His outburst at Hange was the first of many examples of this behavior as he lashed out at them for having no good ideas. 65.4% of respondents felt that MAPPA did a much better job at portraying Eren as a much more intimidating figure than Isayama did.

IN RETROSPECT, DO YOU FEEL THAT EREN WAS TOO HARSH ON HANGE? 190 responses

Almost a total opposite from the previous pie graph, 66.3% of respondents felt that Eren was much too harsh on Hange, given the circumstances and their dwindling options.

DO YOU THINK THAT, EVEN AFTER READING CHAPTER 123, PARADIS COULD HAVE FOUND ANOTHER WAY TO RESOLVE THEIR ISSUES THAN THE PATH THAT EREN TOOK? 191 responses

One of the constant questions in the manga since the timeskip is “could there been another way?” 59.7% think it’s just a solid maybe, and that there’s no longer any way to know that now that Eren has stripped Paradis of all their options. 23.6% feel that the rumbling was the inevitable outcome against a world that would never give them a chance. 14.1% feel the opposite, however, and believe there was always another way, and that Eren didn’t give them enough time to figure it out. 

I wonder what would happen if eren talked about his future memories 

There is always another way than violence. The problem is that no one on Paradis was able to find it.

Maybe we will find out in the last 2 chapters, this might be correlated to a possible "the mist" ending that Isayama originally planned

Who even knows? All I know is that there was too much distrust, secrecy and mystery for anyone to get anything done before shit hit the fan and now here we are. I also think it was a huge mistake to keep Eren so isolated.

There's no good way and never only on path but eren choose one who solve the problem

WE’RE GONNA ASK THIS… WHO IS THE FATHER? 196 responses

The never ending debate of who the father of Historia’s child hasn’t slowed down since the introduction of her pregnancy, though the question has ultimately boiled down to whether the child is Eren’s or not. Only 33.2% of respondents seem to think so. 28.1% presumably feel that it’s not Eren, but are overall tired of this debate in general. 21.4% are firm in their stance that it’s the farmer. 13.8% just wish it had anything to do with Ymir and nothing to do with the other options. 

I’m tired of this whole damn debate... but it's the farmer

LEVI SEEMED MORE VISIBLY IRRITATED ABOUT HOW TALL THE 104TH HAVE GOTTEN IN THE ANIME. THOUGHTS? 192 responses

MAPPA animated this scene with their own take and made Levi more irritable in the anime adaptation than he appeared to be in the manga. Generally, half of respondents felt that both ways were effective and funny. 25.5% seem to enjoy MAPPA’s rendition of it more, while 18.2% prefer the original manga portrayal of Levi’s grievances.

THE TRAIN SCENE WHERE EREN CONFESSES TO HIS FRIENDS IS TREASURED BY MUCH OF THE FANDOM. DID MAPPA DO IT JUSTICE? 193 responses

For fans of the 104th in particular, this scene has felt like it’s taken 84 years to finally be animated. And very few were disappointed, with 56.5% stating that the scene was cute and they are content with it, and another 36.8% showing a little more enthusiasm, feeling that it was more beautifully done than they ever could have imagined. A handful felt it could have been better, but was still good, or just didn’t care. No one agreed that the scene was ruined.

DARK!CONNIE RETURNS! WHO DID HIM BETTER? 190 responses

Another highly anticipated moment… the return of Dark!Connie! MAPPA didn’t quite hit the mark on this one, with Connie’s aura in the manga still being much more preferable to manga readers than the way MAPPA portrayed him in the anime.

WHEN CHAPTER 108 WAS PUBLISHED, READERS WERE ASKED IF EREN STILL PRIORITIZED HIS FRIENDS. AT THAT TIME, THE MAJORITY BELIEVED THAT HE DID, ALTHOUGH THE LARGER HALF OF THAT MAJORITY FELT IT WAS TO A LESSER DEGREE THAN BEFORE THE TIMESKIP. WE’D LIKE TO ASK AGAIN, DO YOU THINK THAT EREN ULTIMATELY TOOK THIS PATH OF DESTRUCTION BECAUSE HE PRIORITIZES HIS FRIENDS? 190 responses

Overall, the majority of the fanbase believe that Eren’s actions are generally in the interest of his friends and their lifespan, though to varying degrees (38.4% feel he prioritizes them wholly above all else, while 34.7% feel that he prioritizes them, but to a lesser degree than he used to). 21.1% still think that Eren’s contradictory actions make it hard to come to a solid conclusion on this front. A handful feel that Eren has abandoned them completely and only cares about himself and his own freedom at this point. 

I want to believe that hes prioritizing his friends, but too many of his actions contradict that, like forcing them into the battle in liberio and sending titans after the alliance 

Eren wasn't able to save his mother and this fact still torments him. I think that his friends matter to him a lot, but there is something darker in him what causes all the mess he is doing. 

He’s selfish and doing whatever he wants.

DO YOU THINK IT’S POSSIBLE THAT EREN PUSHED HIS FRIENDS TO THE FRONT LINES BECAUSE HE ALREADY SAW IN HIS FUTURE MEMORIES THAT THEY WOULD STOP HIM, THUS KNOWING THEY WOULD NOT DIE? 188 responses

When chapter 108 was published, we hadn’t yet learned that Eren saw memories of the future and so we couldn’t speculate on such a thing. Now that we can, we thought we would ask. 42.6% believe that regardless of whether Eren saw his friends in those memories or not, Mikasa is correct in her belief that Eren simply trusted them to survive. 33% feel that he already knew that they would survive, which is the only reason why he dragged them to Liberio in the first place. 18.6% don’t want to say either way, and a small percentage believe Eren had no way of knowing about the fate of his friends. 

He said "I HOPE they will have happy long lives". It means he didn't see much.

WILL WE SEE THE WARRIORS + MAGATH AND COLT NEXT EPISODE? 187 responses

With things shuffled around, we still have yet to see the Warriors recuperating and planning their next move. Half of the fandom feel that MAPPA was waiting to put the focus back on Gabi and Falco before giving us this moment. 32.1% aren’t sure if we will get it in episode 70 or not. 14.4% think it’s something that will come later, and a tiny fraction think it will be cut entirely.

Need my warriors back

WHICH SCENE FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 193 responses

The largest percentage (48.2%) went to the scene with Hange confronting Floch and the Yeagerists, though it is edged out by both of Gabi and Falco’s preview scenes combined (42% for the visit to the Blouse’s, and 9.8% for their scuffle at the river). 

Can't care less about to gabi and falco, it's the final season cut the filler please.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

I miss Sasha

No thoughts, anxiety only. 

Hope to see the cut scenes in the next episode

Maybe I'm the only one, but I'm not so hyped for this season anymore. Sure, I'll still watch all the episodes no matter what, and I don't think Mappa is doing a bad job. But it's just a good adaptation. For the anime-onlys, I'm sure it's great because they're discovering the story we already know, but for me, this season doesn't add much to the manga. I probably had too high expectations for this season... (I'm also watching/reading Jujustsu Kaisen from Mappa and I don't have that feeling at all, so I'm pretty conflicted)

The episode was fine but I had a feeling that it was going a little too fast. However, I'm not complaining because I overally liked it. I could finally see adult Historia. She looks different than her manga counterpart. In the manga she was more mysterious and mature, while in the anime she still has cute baby face. I think that the moment between her and Mikasa was sweet. I feel kinda tired of the whole "who is the father" theories. I think that people waste their energy on fights and debates. If I wasn't part of the fandom, I wouldn't even think of Eren having a child with Historia. They never had romantic relationship and their last conversation was far away from being loving. Eren is an amotional mess. He has never mentioned the child in his POV, he says that his friends and Paradis are the most important, so I will be surprised if all of sudden he turns to be a father.

The lightning around eren when angry at hange was amazing addition (I think it's new) and historias situation feels more real in the anime. (ps: hail ponytail mikasa is bea)

Did a great job imo, but I don't think it's possible to make it anywhere near 122 at this point

Scenes were great as usual. The pacing was a little bit jarring though. I don't know how anime-onlys will take it since we do have different perspectives given our forehand knowledge of the events.

Where's shirtless Reiner??

Good episode, can’t wait for Gabi and Falco’s realization next episode 

I wish everything from the manga could fit into the episode or that the episodes were longer.

There's really no where else I could've put this so I'll just put it here......lol. I feel like it's not as obvious in the anime how much longer Jean's hair has gotten sometimes (specifically during the railroad scene here) and I wish that wasn't the case.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 180 responses

Thank you to everyone who participated! 

[prompt-master]

Would you be willing to share how you might rewrite Yukizome, Sakakura, and Munakata to make them likable characters (if not ppl Bc there’s a big difference)???

ahhhhhhh this ask got me so stupidly excited that I was like wavin my hands around. I think about how to rewrite their characters OFTEN. very often. I’m gonna go with likeable character over likeable people because I think they work better where they’re actually not that likeable people. 

The one I think about the MOST is Munakata. He was SUCH wasted potential and I partially blame the medium for that (a single season anime is too constrained for future, it needed more time and care to be a proper story). But Munakata is actually so close to being a compelling character but they made some MAJOR mistakes with him. This ended up getting really long and more like a 3 page ADHD ramble essay. SO IM VERY SORRY to anyone who cannot read this but TYTYTY if you did because these ideas make me very happy! Oh it’s only about Munakata btw because of how long it got

The thing about Munakata is that he is designed to be a foil to Naegi. In fact a majority of dr3 future FOCUSES on this foil dynamic. It is Naegi’s hope vs Munakata’s hope. The World’s hope vs The FF’s hope. And more importantly it is True Hope vs Corrupted Hope.

This is a fantastic concept...so why didn’t it work in canon? I think that the biggest most glaring issue with Munakata’s hope is his logic. Munakata is meant to be a logical man, although with corrupted morals that lead him astray. Yet in canon his logic is laughably infallible. For example as a major figure in the FF and someone who wants to spread hope....why would he tell Naegi to kill himself? More importantly why does he continue to try and slaughter Naegi? The issue here isn’t from the fact that he wants him dead but from the fact that he is under the IMPRESSION that this entire game is being broadcast to the world.

Think about this for a second. In Munakata’s eyes he is going to kill the Ultimate Hope, an international symbol of a better life, live on TV. He doesn’t just want to kill the Ultimate Hope..he wants to do it BRUTALLY as a MAJOR FIGURE OF THE FF. IMO this should have happened later on as the game furthers the emotional turmoil in Munakata’s head and he eventually snaps and gives in to the desire to kill Naegi despite the fact that this is live. And then there should be CONSEQUENCES for that. I wanted so badly a realization where Munakata realizes that he is hurting the Ultimate Hope in front of what he believes is the entire world. 

Another issue with Munakata’s logic is saying things such as...implying that the HPA KG was...just a game. I mean...people DIED. it's not hard to see how wrong that logic is. you can't say “this is the real world now” when what Naegi experienced WAS the real world. I think that this could be fixed through a bit of world building. DR3 Future is rather isolated from its world. We don’t really know much about the world and its dynamics. I think it would make perfect sense if the general public viewed the HPA KG as a tv show, they got numb to the sight and even those untouched by despair had a hard time connecting that these are REAL people suffering. With this previously established Munakata expressing that the KG was not real would make a lot more sense and play into his corrupted idea of hope. 

There is also Munakata’s connection to his other friends. Now I’ve talked about this before but the game was clearly designed to BREAK Munakata and Naegi. This way the FF would die, both the FF and World’s hope would be broken, and upon seeing this Mitarai would have no choice but to deploy his own forced hope. So it makes perfect sense that Yukizome’s death would break him (in fact if she hadn’t died in that way, her NG code was designed to be Munakata’s fault). But something about it felt...superficial. Again I think this is the mediums fault but it almost feels as though Munakata just forgets about Yukizome until later. I think they should spend more time establishing his pain and what he has lost and why this pushes him to kill. In his eyes if she can die then nothing else matters. It should be THE breaking point, not the first push. I do like the betrayal he feels towards realizing she had despair but it needed more time to fester. 

And his relationship with Sakakura also felt weak. In all honesty it was hard for me to feel as though they were ever friends. Sakakura is written as though he just follows Munakata like a loyal dog and Munakata just orders him around. Establish their relationship more! Why are they such good friends? Why is Sakakura important to him? And more importantly why did Munakata decide to cruelly gut Sakakura knowing he was about to confess? This is because he believed that Sakaura was despair and that his confession was more manipulation, but they didn’t show this well at ALL. Munakata just comes across as a major a-sshole who does not care. I also personally found it distasteful that when changing his heart Munakata only seemed to cry for Yukizome. I understand that was his love interest but Yukizome at the end of the day killed herself. Sakakura however was an unnecessary betrayal he took into his own hands AS HE HIMSELF KILLED HIM. He should have more guilt over that! Not just in that moment where he runs to Sakakura, but ahead of time as well! Maybe even DURING his rampage they could have shown him having moments of guilt but he is so absorbed in the idea that all despairs have to die that he doesn’t even realize he has become despair in the name of hope.

A BIG weakness on Munakata’s part comes with interacting with other characters. He is a man who should know how to take charge, lead, and doesn't know what to do when things are getting too crazy even though he THINKS he does. Munakata is heavily flawed, OBVIOUSLY flawed, but many of the interactions with him are as tho his rampage isnt a big deal. There should be reasons for this! Why do people trust Munakatas guidance so much? I dont know! All ive seen from him is that hes insane! Maybe even pieces where around others hes a lot nicer so you can understand why they follow him, even though hes ready to gut Naegi alive with a flaming katana. His interactions with others feel like the writers just wanted to see the next big evil thing they could think of, but for Munakata’s character this doesn't make sense because he was appointed a high status in the foundation for a reason. Maybe even have people say they disagree with some of his methods but at the end of the day he gets the job done!

There is another major missed opportunity here and it's why Muanakata wants Naegi dead so badly in the first place. The remnants. Hiding terrorists in the apocalypse is a PERFECTLY valid reason to want someone dead and think they're a bad guy! But I think since Naegis initial arrest was already so hostile and violent we get the sense that the FF is simply just...crazy. 

And let’s think about what Munakata WANTS from Naegi. He does not just want Naegi dead he wants something worse. He wants Naegi to suffer first. He thinks that Naegi doesnt understand his own personal pain. He thinks that because Naegi protected the remnants he must also not care about the suffering the remnants caused. He wants Naegi to feel despair and then die. This is important to his corrupted hope. He thinks the suffering must be shared in order to understand who must die, but he is creating a cycle of pain. Tie this back to the broadcasting issue. He wants Naegi to break for everyone to see. I think..and this is just a concept..I think it would have been a great idea for Munkata to force Naegi to watch the despair video so that he has no choice but to understand. 

AND themes are majorly important to Danganronpa. And I don’t think its a stretch to say that there are parallels between Munakata and Naegi. In fact I would say that there are aspects of the og trio in this new trio. I think it would have been really cool if they showed how our favorite trio could have ended up if they had been corrupted as well. But the parrellels dont stick strongly. I think it would have been cool to show a past where Munakata’s idealism lies more strongly than Naegis. As the student council president there was a time where he himself had to use his words to solve problems. Perhaps he learned that sometimes his words made things worse. Munakata does not have Naegi’s talent of emotional intelligence. He is a man of action over words. So he interprets this as WORDS being the problem rather than understanding he does not have these skills. Especially when the apocalypse breaks out, it becomes all action over words. So he sees Naegi who is all talk as a genuine threat who will let everyone die through his “weak ineffective” idea of hope. 

Another parallel could be drawn from the fact that they both have hope based careers. Their job is too keep things hopeful. Maybe Naegi stays safe doing public broadcasted speeches, while Munakata is on the field weeding out despairs. This would cause Munakata to feel as though Naegi is doing no real work yet getting all the credit for being a savior.

Munakata constantly complains that Naegi does not know true pain. But he and we as an audience have followed Naegi through his entire process of trauma. We know he is in the wrong. But what do we as an audience know about Munakata’s suffering? We are shown almost nothing! There are some implications, but for how intense he is implications are not enough. We need to see his suffering. We should see how he has witnessed death. Yukizomes death is not nearly enough for this because he talks as though he has suffered for years. How can we as an audience understand that when we have never seen it? How can we understand Munakata when he is outright denying Naegi’s trauma that we KNOW existed with no proper justification for his reasoning?

I also believe that Munakata should have died. It actually upsets me a bit that he was PLANNED to die but didn't. He should have died protecting Naegi after all that suffering and relentless brutality he offered him. Munakata again is a man of action over word, and protecting Naegi with his last breath is the perfect way to show how in the end he changed. Especially when all he wanted initially was for Naegi to die. I find that much more satisfying than just…...walking off to who knows where.

So lets recap some changes. Munakata needs a proper display of his past traumas and his relationship with Sakakura and Yukizome. Munakata needs a proper display of his work relationships and the respect he has earned. Munakata needs to fall into corruption at a better pace, and have geniune reasons for his illogical attacks on Naegi. Munakata needs to care more for his friends. Munakata needs to deal with the turmoil of wanting to hurt Naegi while he believes the world is watching. Munakata needs to die for Naegi

This has gotten long...and I still have things to say. There is so much to make Munakata a good character. Future had a lot of potential and is amazing for a rewrite concept. As for Sakakura and Yukizome since this has gotten long feel free to ask for another round of this individually when asks are open again! If you read all of this somehow….TYSM