#bc that's unfortunately not a common take to see in movies

[gayspacemonk]

the way nimona explicitly says "get down w the whole system"???????

the way ballister tries to say "no the system is good, we just gotta get rid of the bad person in it"????? and nimona answers with "NO the WHOLE SYSTEM IS BAD!!! we should take it all down!!"

bc like, that's the truth. people often make the mistake of assuming that if you got rid of a few people, bad things wouldn't happen, but if that particular person wasn't doing bad things, someone else would be doing them, that's the way this system needs to work

you can't just get rid of the oppressors and call it a day, you have to also get rid of the system that created the oppressors

[bbangtans]

daybreak | jjk | oneshot

Summary: One of your favorite things to do when you were in your early 20s was stay up late where reflective conversations eventually blurred into nonsense as the sun rose alongside someone you thought you would spend the rest of your days with… Now you’re stuck in New York City for one night due to a delayed flight with that very person standing there in his leather jacket and guitar case in hand across from you at the airport gate. See, fate is a funny thing and Jeon Jungkook could always find the humor in anything.

pairing: rockstar!ex!jk x f!reader genre/tropes: angst, fluff, exes to ???, right person wrong time/second chances, jungkook is so romance film lead coded – charismatic and well-spoken and genuine and ughhhhh i be fawning frrrr, this takes place where both jk and reader are 28ish, jk is a lead singer in a band with tae-jimin-yoongi, and y/n is a working professional rating/warnings: M | alcohol consumption, lots of swearing, semi-public sex, unprotected sex (don’t be all willy nilly with this tho!!!), dig bick jk lmfao, oral (f receiving), heavy petting, multiple orgasms. a/n: inspired by my faaaaaave movie before sunrise bc if there’s anything namjoon and i have in common, it’s that we are yearners 🤝 and SURPRISE! she's here a lil earlier than promised <3 word count: ~10.1k

The longest string of curses you ever muttered in your life escaped your lips as your tense eyes focused on the words CANCELED obnoxiously displayed on the monitor indicating the status of your flight, which was supposed to take you back to the comfort of your home in Seoul. This is ignoring the fact that you also had a big presentation to prepare for a client but you got pulled into this conference last minute by your boss – lucky you. 

“Ma’am, I’m so sorry. Unfortunately, all flights have been temporarily suspended due to emergency maintenance as a result of the aircraft recall. The most I can offer is to book you on the next available flight scheduled…” The poor airline employee offered with an apologetic smile. You stepped back as you realized this very employee had to face the brunt of the crowd who also suffered the same fate as you. 

You swallowed your anger, empathetic to this person who was merely a messenger. “Okay, when is the next flight?”

“It will be tomorrow at 10:15AM. That’s the earliest we can do, unfortunately. I can have you booked on that flight and you’ll have the details emailed to you shortly.” 

Sighing, you nodded your head. “Cool, thank you… but will the airline be able to provide a place to stay since –”

You were cut off by an angry – and entitled – middle-aged woman. “Excuse me but what is the airline going to do about this? I’m supposed to be in Seoul by 10PM on the 24th. How is this airline going to ensure that? Do you know how much I paid for this?”

You were at your wits end as you watched other passengers try to come down on the woman as you walked away. At least you were in “The City that Never Sleeps” so finding something to do won’t be that difficult. You jerked your carry-on bag along as you tried to exit from the commotion of your gate however you did not get far as you were stopped by someone who stood before you amongst another fleet of passengers dealing with the same issue as your flight. You recognized that signature, worn leather jacket and stickered guitar case from miles away.

“Jungkook?”

The call of his name pulled him back into reality as it appeared as though he himself was checking if this was actually happening. Your mind started racing as you couldn’t help the shock that washed over you. So many questions flashed by as his surprised gaze met yours.

“Hey…” He cleared his throat and ran a hand through his already tousled hair. “...Having flight issues too?”

Sitting at a coffee shop in the terminal across from each other, it was… awkward, you both could not deny. 

Jungkook cradled his iced americano while your now empty vanilla latte cup rested there. A funny representation of both of your approaches to life. It was also a point of teasing that Jungkook previously used to his advantage during the days of shared kisses and intimate dates. Times when you and Jungkook would lie shoulder to shoulder on a bed of grass in open fields and wish upon shooting stars.

“This sucks, doesn’t it?” You tried to break the ice, seeing Jungkook’s uncharacteristic silence. Perhaps these years have changed you both.

“The flight thing or us sitting across from each other like this?” Jungkook cracked and you let out a breath of laugh. 

Toying with your empty cup, you nodded at nothing in particular. “Definitely the flight thing, and regarding right now… not sure. But I can’t lie that it’s nice to see a familiar face amid this chaos.”

His shoulders slacked as if tension melted away and Jungkook sat up more confidently in his seat. “Yeah, I bet. And wait…” He paused before leaning towards you in surprise. “Are you here in NYC alone? What brings you here?”

You waved off his worry, knowing exactly what he was referring to. “I came here for a 2-day work conference so I was strictly here on business.” Funny to think that reaction was almost impulse despite the passage of time between you both.

“Have you been to New York before? Did you at least get a chance to explore the city after your conference?”

“No, and no, honestly. It took a lot out of me and the company is pinching pennies by only giving me a short window here outside of the conference. What about you, what brings you here? Is this your first time stuck here?” You rested your head on your hand that was propped up on the table.

Jungkook’s unforgettable grin made its appearance as he noticed your growing ease at the situation. “The band’s here on tour. We’re about to start our Europe leg but of course… shit had to hit the fan with the airplane scandals. And nope, this is our third time in New York. We were first here on tour a couple of years ago.” 

You smiled at this. “That’s right. I’m sure you’re a seasoned professional being on the road and all with the SNAFUs that come up… Congrats though, I hear the band has really taken off. You guys deserve all the success.”

“You don’t know how much that means to me,” Jungkook started, grinning wide as ever. “No seriously, it means a lot coming from you.”

“You’re messing with me.” You frowned in jest.

“No, not at all. You were that push to get my head on straight, y’know? Even before we … ended things… you were one of the few people who genuinely believed in us. And I can’t thank you enough for that.”

Feeling your face get warm, you shook your head in a humble gesture. “I only saw and believed in the obvious. I mean look at you guys now, touring the US and now even Europe? This success was all in the making.”

“But enough about the band! How’re you? Being all professional going abroad on conferences and stuff. What are you up to?” Jungkook took a sip from his Americano where the ice had become significantly smaller.

“I’m a product manager, and so that keeps me busy 9-5 on the weekdays.” You joked. “But other than that, just floating along. Hanging out with friends, taking life a day at a time, y’know? I’m nowhere as interesting as you, Mr. Rock Star… Living in LA and all.”

Jungkook laughed as he slipped off his leather jacket and revealed an entire sleeve of tattoos on his right arm. You eyed them curiously as he had always talked about wanting tattoos in your younger days. It was good to see that he was able to have that aspiration come to fruition. Another reminder of the passage of time between you both.

“Don’t say that, I think you’re one of the coolest people ever. No one approaches life the way you do, Taehyung-hyung might be a close second… but he doesn’t have the flare that you do.” He started then his smile turned slightly void as he followed up. “Would it be awkward to ask how things are with…”

“...Who? Oh, Seokjin?” You casually asked, truthfully you had not said that name since your eventual breakup almost a year ago. TL;DR you both weren’t compatible because you weren’t ready to settle down for whatever reason despite him being ready to take you both to city hall at the drop of a hat. “Uh… we ended things a while ago actually.”

“Right, yeah,” Jungkook responded vaguely. “Sorry if that was weird, it’s just that he and Yoongi-hyung are friends and you haven’t come up in a while whenever Hyung mentions him but sorry if I’m prying and sorry if I am especially making this awkward but –” He was rambling. Cute.

“Jungkook,” You rested a hand on his forearm, ignoring the surge of electricity that unknowingly jolted you both. “I get it, no worries.”

You both couldn’t help the smile that broke out on your faces.

“So what about you? Seeing anyone?”

He looked almost offended by the question but brushed it off. “Me? Nope, life’s been too hectic with the band these past two years to be seriously involved with someone.”

“Uh huh,” you mused before Jungkook cocked his brow in confusion at your response.

“What?”

“‘Seriously involved’? So you have been dabbling in some rockstar tendencies.” You wiggled your eyebrows teasingly. The 21-year-old in you aches, but today you are 28 and not exactly that same old person as before. 

Jungkook rolled his eyes. “Shut up. I don’t want to discuss that with you of all people. And besides, we haven’t made it to the big leagues yet. We’re just tadpoles in a lake, we still gotta work our way to bigger waters.”

You only laughed, and Jungkook let you with his arms folded over his chest – basking in this moment he never thought would happen.

However, it was interrupted as an aproned barista approached you both, being the only patrons left as the coffee shop was getting ready to close for the day. The freckled teen awkwardly cleared his throat with a broom in hand. You then observed the fact that the chairs were already perched upon tables – a clear sign that the establishment was closed for business. You both hadn’t realized how much time had passed in chatting. “Hello, I’m sorry but we’re closing for the day. You are welcome to take your drinks with you to the gates though.”

“Sorry about that.”

“No worries, my bad.”

You and Jungkook apologized at the same time while hurriedly gathering your belongings. 

Walking out, Jungkook sighed as he held the handle of his guitar case in his tattooed hand. “I can’t believe a place in the airport closes at fucking 5PM.”

“Jungkook, it’s a coffee shop. Closing at 5PM is considered late for that industry already and besides, this isn’t Seoul.” You laughed.

“True… but…” Jungkook cast you a sideways glance. “What are you going to do until your flight tomorrow morning?”

You could only shrug. “Not sure, I was just going to camp out here at JFK.”

A moment of silence passed as you both walked on in no particular direction, only the sound of the wheels of your carry-on suitcase and the heavy footsteps from Jungkook’s combat boots. Despite the 7 years that passed, you could still tell Jungkook was mulling over something. This fact honestly surprised you.

“Penny for your thoughts?” You offered gingerly.

“Now, this is going to sound crazy,” he spoke, his mind clearly running miles a minute and barely able to keep his once stable walking pace. “Hear me out all the way through, okay?”

“Sure.” You shrugged.

“So, my manager got each of us a hotel room not too far from the airport –”

“Jungkook.” You interrupted him incredulously, on the verge of seeing red. Offense, disrespect, anger… it all pulsed through you at once. By this point, you both had stopped in the middle of the wide airport corridor between gates. “Are you fucking serious –”

He held his hands up in defense. “You said you would hear me out!”

“...fine.” Arms crossed over your chest defensively, and you took a step back.

“Like I said, I have this hotel room so what if we kept our stuff there and we explore NYC tonight? Then when morning comes, you could grab your things and head back to Seoul and get back to your routine.” Jungkook now positioned himself where he stood directly before you, eyes connected to yours. “You said it yourself you didn’t get to see NYC. And I’ve been here before, so it all works out.”

You obviously still looked unconvinced with arms crossed over your chest defensively. 

“Okay, how about this: there’s a Smart Carte baggage drop-off in Terminal 4 of JFK. Forget stopping by my hotel room, you can drop off your things here so by morning we can both be here for our flights. I’ll be on my way to Vienna and you’ll be headed back to Seoul. How does that sound?” Jungkook negotiated. “Listen, Y/N. It’s just been so nice to hang out with you and I don’t know but there’s something in me that can’t pass up this opportunity to at least help you see the magic of NYC… and to spend a few more hours with you.”

“I…”

Jungkook stepped forward with a pleading stare. “Please, I promise it’ll be worth your while. I feel like you would regret this not happening as much as I would. And if it convinces you, I promise that we can forget that this night ever happened after the fact. I swear…”

A smirk broke out on your face after a tense beat of silence and mulling over his words. “Okay.”

“Okay.” Jungkook could not fight the smile that reached his eyes as he breathed a sigh of relief and then turned, gesturing for you to start off what would be your journey of the evening together.

By the time you both made it into Manhattan proper, it was prime dinner time. You felt the grumble of your stomach as you and Jungkook sat in the back seat of an iconic yellow taxi. Embarrassedly, you put your hand over your stomach in a feeble attempt to keep it quiet. 

“So, y’all are headed to Katz’s?” The taxi driver asked as he glanced at the two of you through the rearview mirror. He was an elderly man wearing a newsboy cap and the taxi itself smelled of the endless cups of coffee he consumed during his day on the clock. 

“Yup, we’re hoping the dinner rush isn’t as bad,” Jungkook responded in a friendly manner. “It may be a Tuesday but it’s Katz’s after all.”

The driver chuckled as the traffic was beginning to chip away and the taxi started to speed up on the Robert F. Kennedy Bridge. You couldn’t help the gasp that escaped you as you watched the city sky begin its transition into an orangey-pink sunset. “I’m assuming this fella over here has been to the City before, but is this your first time, Miss?”

You nodded your head. “Yes, actually I came for a conference but have limited time here.”

“Oh? When do you head back to…” he trailed off, not sure how to continue the sentence.

Jungkook took the chance to chime in. “Seoul… in Korea. She heads back tomorrow actually.”

The driver let out a low whistle. “That’s a crazy turnaround time. But listen, New York is a magical place – despite whatever those bozos not even from the city have to say. It has character, and so much can happen in the City that Never Sleeps. It is a land of possibility. And here, thirty years ago, is actually where I met the woman who became my wife. It’s a special place, for sure.”

“I bet.” Jungkook grinned as he looked out the drawn window, taking in the newly warm springtime breeze. 

Jungkook let you take the ride in silence, unsure of what was going through your head about this whole situation and in all honestly cursing himself for possibly pressuring you into doing something you weren't comfortable with in the first place. He kept casting cautious glances your way when you weren’t looking. 

Eventually, the taxi came to a halt. 

“Alrighty, here we are!” The driver pulled up on the busy intersection and you were in awe by the throngs of people despite it being one of the earlier weekdays and the very end of rush hour. Jungkook paid for the ride and ushered you both out of the taxi respectfully.

“Thank you for the ride!” You called out as you exited the vehicle.

“Enjoy New York and all she has to offer!” the driver bid you two before driving off to find his next patron of the evening. 

Jungkook almost choked mid-bite of the huge signature pastrami sandwich you both decided to split as you continued to share about that one time your mutual friend back in Seoul, Hoseok, had accidentally cussed out an innocent employee at a haunted house. 

“No way.” He barely managed to get out between his mix of coughs and laughs, grabbing the attention of worried customers inside the establishment. He grabbed his cup of water to ease his throat.

“Yes, way! Afterward, he kept bowing in apology. I felt so bad but Namjoon and I were too busy laughing to step in to help.” You put your spoon down, making a good decision to not have a bite of the shared chicken noodle soup as you giggled at the memory. 

Once Jungkook calmed down and took a sip of his water, he looked at you in amusement. “Classic Hobi.”

“I know right? But regardless, he’ll always be an angel. Despite that, he doesn’t have a single bad bone in his body.” 

Jungkook nodded in agreement. “I miss that guy a lot, man.”

You smiled up at him. “He misses you, too – I’m sure.”

He rested his sandwich on the plate. “Let me know if I’m being weird… but I missed this.”

Your smile faltered as it grew slightly wary. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged, genuine. “I just feel like you’ve always been someone I easily get along with and y’know… considering our past and how things aren’t super awkward now. In all honestly, I thought you were just going to ignore me and keep walking away at the airport due to the possibility that you might’ve hated me… I wouldn’t have blamed you, though. I was a bit of an asshole when we ended things. And I am sorry about that. Genuinely.”

You could easily recall that night.

You looked at him, confused. “What?”

“I said I don’t think we should continue seeing each other.” Jungkook stood his ground despite the internal turmoil. “I… just feel like I’m holding you back.”

“You can’t be the only one to decide that, Jungkook.” His words finally started to settle in your bones and it felt like a thousand cuts.

“Listen, you deserve a lot more… and we both know that.” 

“Jungkook, you aren’t listening. You can’t just pre-emptively end things like this over something like that – not without discussing it with me too.” 

You tried to reason with him by resting a hand on his arm. He finally looked at you with tears in his eyes. You knew at that point, there was no talking him out of it. He firmly believed this was the right choice for you, no matter how inherently selfish he didn’t realize he was being. Being kind to a fault in true Jeon Jungkook fashion.

He was breaking up with you.

You smiled bittersweetly at the memory. “Yeah… that is a fair thought. But you know, we were young. Barely 21 years old. And while that was only 7 years ago, we were different people. I can’t imagine making the same decisions we did back then now.”

“I guess we were.” Jungkook offered, understanding that this was your way of accepting his apology. 

“And!” You picked up your spoon again to scoop yourself a spoonful of some chicken noodle soup. “That was before we had developed prefrontal cortexes. And besides, I could never hate you now… I finished with that when I turned 23.” You joked but he froze slightly at your words.

Jungkook made sure to make direct eye contact with you filled with something that could move mountains. “I never intended to hurt you, I really didn’t.”

Your tone also went serious yet understanding. “I know, I know now. And I appreciate you for telling me.”

Despite the bustle of that tiny deli in the middle of the dinner rush, all you could see was Jungkook and all he could see was you. The understanding weighing upon you both now.

“Thank you for also trusting me with taking you out tonight, that means a lot to me.”

“Me too.” You nodded up at him. “I doubt there’s anyone else who would be able to get me out here like this either. I can’t even remember the last time I pulled an all-nighter… it was probably when we were still in undergrad.” The two of you shared a laugh that was abruptly interrupted. 

“FINAL CALL! Final call for order number 72!” The person working the counter exclaimed with the order bill in his hands. No one went up to the counter so the employee shook his head to himself in disapproval before proceeding to keep it pushing. 

The scene had finally calmed so you turned to Jungkook expectantly. “Alright, we had dinner. So where are we headed now?”

Jungkook wiped the crumbs off his mouth with a napkin as he said, “One of my favorite bars in the city! The vibes are so nice and they often have open mic nights so you get to see some local talent”

“Sounds amazing.”

“Oh, it will be,” Jungkook promised.

“I have to go to the bathroom real quick before we head out, though.” You said as you got up. 

He nodded his head as he motioned for you to go. “Do what you gotta do.”

Inside, you looked at yourself in the mirror in the bathroom, unable to grasp how this whole thing could have happened. One second you are about to cry from how cruel the universe was to sitting at a historic deli with Jeon-freaking-Jungkook. 

Once you returned, you saw him writing on a napkin which he then folded up and placed in the pocket of his jeans at the sight of you approaching. 

“What’s that?”

“Just some thoughts for a possible song that came to me.” Jungkook got up and left some cash for the tip on the table. “C’mon. Let’s head to our next destination!”

Sitting on the subway, thigh to thigh with Jungkook taking the aisle seat and you on the window seat, he told you that he doesn’t remember the name of this favorite bar but just how to get there. He said that, apparently, was all that mattered as you sat on the A Line train. Trying your best to ignore the close proximity due to the seat and Jungkook’s broad frame, you both took turns taking shy stolen glances at each other – hoping each other would notice just as much as you both wish you wouldn’t. The warm and slightly stagnant air made you both run a little hot, your cardigan resting in your lap and Jungkook’s leather jacket in his.

However, the car of the train started to get packed to the point where people had to step into the aisle right next to Jungkook. The sudden stops causing people to bump into the shaggy-haired singer. You scooted to be more flush against the wall of the car, motioning for Jungkook to get closer to avoid more hits from the rough ride and sudden backpack attack. He looked at you sheepishly as he accepted the invitation, where his arm went around the top of your seat and shoulders to make room for his wide build. 

“I hope this is okay.” He gave as he rested against you.

“Yeah, no worries.” You had a smile of reassurance that he mirrored.

It was hard to avoid each other eyes at this point. 

You wondered how long it had been since you were last nested against him and why you didn’t feel as uncomfortable as you thought you’d be despite all those years. However, this was no surprise as Jungkook always had that weird effect on you.

“Pardon me, is it cool if I stand here next to you?” A tall, handsome figure appeared from your left side. You peered over your shoulder at the sudden question. It was about an hour before Epik High was supposed to be on stage but you entered the venue early since you wanted a good place to stand on the floor. There were pockets of people but surely not enough where someone had to approach you and ask like that. 

Promptly, you had to bring yourself back to reality as you cleared your throat. “Yeah, sure… no worries.”

A bunny-toothed dazzling smile appeared and you watched as his eyes curiously traveled down to the long-sleeved tour shirt you held. A purchase to remember this concert. “Thanks. And oh! I was tempted to get that shirt too. It’s pretty sick.”

Feeling a little self-conscious you avoided his fixed gaze, “Yeah. Their designer for this tour’s merch did an awesome job…”

Jungkook nodded mostly to himself, believing that he was making you uncomfortable. “Listen, sorry if I’m making this awkward but my name’s Jungkook, and I think you seem really cool. But if I’m bothering you, totally let me know and I can give you your space! No hard feelings or anything.”

You smiled at his frankness and shook your head at this. “No, no. Sorry, I think you seem cool too, and I don’t mind at all.” You said before giving your name as well.

“That’s a pretty name,” he responded. “It suits you.” 

You politely laughed off the subtle compliment. “Thank you, and I hope so.”

Steadily, you and Jungkook became deeply immersed in conversation – talking about how long you both had been fans of the artist, why you both ended up attending this concert alone, and getting to know each other generally. Most significantly, you found out that you both attended the same university and were the same age among the many things discussed. The conversation flowed comfortably after that initial interaction. That hour before showtime had passed so quickly that you hadn’t noticed how much the venue had filled up and gradually forced you and Jungkook to be shoulder to shoulder from how packed it had become. By the time the venue fell dark and signaling that Epik High was about to set foot on stage, the crowd had slightly pushed forward, forcing you to be closer than ever to Jungkook.

“Sorry, I hope this is okay.” He spoke sheepishly at the proximity.

“No worries.” You smiled at him and at that moment the pyrotechnics of the stage went off, as the concert began – strangely calm despite having only met the man not too long before and cheers erupting from the crowd that surrounded you. There was just something about him.

There was always something so human (as cliche as it was) about open mic nights. People stand on stage and recite poems where they bare their souls or sing original songs written about the throes of life. A little appreciation for the small things that you and Jungkook shared. You both enjoyed the local buskers back in Seoul during undergrad, especially around springtime when things overall seemed brighter and full of life. 

You sat with your pineapple tequila as Jungkook went for his whiskey on the rocks, occasionally shaking the ice cubes around in the glass between sips. You both sat at a booth off to the side of the stage where you could get a decent view of the performers. 

“So…” Jungkook started.

You tore your gaze away from the current performer, a girl singing a cover of a Laufey song, to find Jungkook staring at you with a glint in his eye. “...So?”

“I’m honestly surprised you took my offer to spend time with me tonight – with some negotiating, of course but surprised nevertheless.” Jungkook chuckled as he took another sip of his drink. “What was it that convinced you?”

You toyed with a loose strand of hair in contemplation of his words. 

What did convince you? Was it the frustration from the flight fiasco? The fact that you were in New York for the first time? This was a question you only recently started to ponder because saying yes felt so right but you couldn’t explain why.

“I just trust you. And it’s been so long since we’ve been in the same place at the same time.” You began, noting how his eyes have softened at your words. “I honestly didn’t know what to think when you first stood there in front of me, y’know? I kind of thought I was hallucinating. I thought that maybe the stress from all the flight mess was getting to me. 

“I honestly never thought I would cross paths with you ever again, considering how the trajectory of our lives headed. You live in LA, working full-time on your music and touring. I live back in Seoul, where there’s always a deadline looming over me and I have to set off to meet some client. And besides…” You held his stare where there was a gentle smile on his face. “I knew I wanted to spend more time to catch up with you the second we sat back in that coffee shop at the airport.”

Relief and something else that you couldn’t place washed over his face. Was it regret? Was it longing? You didn’t know exactly but you felt his free hand reach for yours from across the booth. The calloused fingers of his hand from hours of playing guitar caressed yours as he stared at the way they connected. Still a perfect fit. Your first real bit of physical connection since that fateful day when you were both 21 and young and dumb and lost. 

“Yeah, me too.” Jungkook started. “But for me, it was the moment before you even saw me. When my eyes found you at the gate, I seriously couldn’t believe it.”

You laughed at this. “Well, I hope that time has done me well since you last saw me.”

Jungkook chuckled as well as he cocked his head to the side. “Are you kidding? You look phenomenal. I’m convinced you always will.”

“Oh, shut up. You’re trying to butter me up.” You joked but deep down, the intensity of the intimacy scared you. It was like a fireplace left dormant for so long had finally lit up. It surged through your whole body and you weren’t sure how to deal with it. You withdrew your hand back slowly and instantly regretted the coldness from the loss of contact. However, it frightened you with all things considered. “You’ve always been such a charmer.”

Jungkook’s expression faltered when you fully pulled back your hand but he tried his best to hide it. Holding your hand just felt so right, like it was the divine providence of the universe – written in the stars and made to fit. No other body could bring the warmth he felt from when he was around you. He was convinced that with your every step, flowers bloomed and skies cleared. He was always a goner for you, and that still stands true to this day. 

How funny the universe was, Jungkook thought to himself, that it could create someone so wonderful but have them exist on a different path from his. 

“Alright, alright! That was a fantastic cover from Gina. Let’s give her a round of applause, everyone!” The MC and presumed owner of the bar stepped on stage and spoke into the mic, grabbing everyone’s attention. “Now, we have a guest singer that I saw sign up, his name is JK Jeon. Let’s give him a warm welcome!”

You whipped your head to face a sheepish Jungkook finishing the last bits of his whiskey before he patted you on the head and headed towards the stage. “When did he…”

The leather-jacketed, confident lead singer Jeon Jungkook of Bring the Soul appeared before you as he adjusted the mic stand and introduced himself in perfect, unaccented English. “Hi everyone, my name is JK. I signed up because this is one of my favorite places in New York so I thought I’d sing something for you, especially because there’s also someone important here with me today.” 

His eyes locked with yours in that moment and you forgot to breathe for a second. He looked so otherworldly in that bar, he had the aura to make the dingiest stage look like some elaborate arena. He was born to perform.

Your second pineapple tequila arrived and it was a much heavier pour from the bartender. However, you were grateful as the surge of emotions overcame you. Everything was feeling surreal again and you definitely needed this drink despite being a little bit of a lightweight.

“So, this song is titled ‘seasons’ by a band called wave to earth. Hope you enjoy it.” 

With that, he signaled for the song to start and the first keys of a piano filled the dim bar. Not once did Jungkook’s eyes leave yours as he sang. You were absolutely bewitched as the song progressed, and so was the rest of the bar. A couple across the room embraced each other, two friends shared a toast of their drinks with a lively clank, and the bartender even paused to take in Jungkook’s singing… all these people were brought together by his undeniable talent. Your heart was so full and you were so proud, and distracted until you really started to listen to the lyrics of the song.

But I'll pray for you all the time

If I could be by your side

I'll give you all my life, my seasons

By your side, I'll be your seasons

My love

A thunderous applause surged through the bar as Jungkook thanked the audience and stepped off the stage fluidly before heading straight for the booth where you still sat. However, instead of sitting across from you, he slid into the bench where you were and settled right next to you.

“How was that?” Jungkook’s arm naturally went around your shoulders and you swore you were soaring. 

You rested your head on his bicep as you gazed up at him, and Jungkook was swooning at how adorable you looked then. The dim, soft lights make you look ethereal to him. “It was amazing, as always.”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.”

“Cool.” Jungkook stroked your hair as you continued to rest your head on his arm. He could tell you were beginning to feel your drinks in your system since you had long finished your two pineapple tequilas and were now babysitting a pint of beer. 

“Hey, Jungkook.” He barely caught it as you basically whispered it out. “Y’know, I’m going to be really sad about everything once morning comes.”

His eyes widened as he shared the same sentiments. “Yeah… me, too.”

“But!” You suddenly shot upright in posture and surprised him as you grabbed your drink by its handle. “None of that dramatic ‘goodbye’ shit in the morning!” You tipsily pointed at Jungkook with your beer who only laughed at your theatrics as some foam spilled.

Between chuckles, Jungkook was barely able to let out at the sudden shift in mood. “Okay, then what do we say at the end? When it’s morning time?”

“What people always say at that time – ‘good morning’ and not goodbye. Let’s make it a nice ending for us, I feel like that would do us both justice.” Your gaze was too hazy to see the seriousness that lined his face but he shook it off and plastered his signature smile despite the storm in his heart. “I know it’s a little cheesy, but I don’t want to be sad in those last minutes with you.”

“Okay, we’ll bid each other ‘good morning’ when dawn comes then we go on with the rest of our lives. No sad stuff.” You missed how tight-lipped his grin was. 

“Promise?”

“Yeah, I promise.”

“Alright, follow me!” Jungkook called from over his shoulder as he jogged to catch the door to the rooftop of some swanky highrise apartment complex that you two managed to sneak into. 

He held the door open for you, with his free hand exaggeratedly ushering you to go first like a medieval knight. “After you, m’lady.”

By this time, the alcohol had flushed out of your system on the twenty-minute walk Jungkook had brought you on after hearing about how much you wanted to see the skyline but didn’t want to pay a ridiculous amount for a view. And this is where it led you: on the lounge rooftop of a luxury apartment building. The twinkling lights of the city sparked beneath you. The haphazard spacing of the lights from nearby buildings were windows into the lives of the people who occupied the space. Then, you had the great Empire State Building literally blocks away, its spire brightly illuminating the night. To your right, there was a patch of darkness that was Central Park. 

You were breathless at the sight before you. Suddenly, you felt connected with every fiber of your being. The light midnight breeze that swam between your loose strands of hair felt like a glass of fresh water as it revitalized you. There you were, in New York City – looking at it from a bird’s eye point of view. Nothing could have ever prepared you for this. 

You then felt Jungkook stand close next to you as he bumped his shoulder with yours playfully. “How is it?”

“It’s so beautiful.” It took everything in you to tear your gaze away from the view to look at Jungkook. “How did you know about this place?”

He snickered mischievously. “One of the label’s former execs used to live in this building. He used to talk about it all the time and I couldn’t help but remember it. Glad it lived up to all the talk though, it is gorgeous up here.”

And with that, he began to walk over to the outdoor couch hidden behind the privacy of a cabana in front of a fire pit. He turned it on effortlessly before plopping down on the couch right beside the glass-protected edge of the building for what you assumed to be a maximum viewing experience. You followed and sat down, his arm naturally finding its way wrapped behind your shoulders. 

“I never thought I would be able to experience something like this,” you marveled at the night skyline with an at-ease smile on your face, letting your body fit into a nook created by Jungkook’s. “Never would I think feeling so small like this would be so comforting. I don’t regret this at all.”

Absentmindedly, Jungkook’s hand began to play with one of the strands of your hair. “Yeah, same. I regret a lot of things, but this definitely wouldn’t be one – not by a long shot.”

“Oh? Like what kind of regrets?” You asked him, scared to look into his eyes at that moment. 

“Letting my insecurities and tendencies for perfectionism get the best of me. There were so many times when it got in the way of being present. Whether it be with the band, my life… and you.” His hand froze as he cleared his throat. “I regret letting you go. And I feel like the biggest idiot on the face of the earth, y’know? I thought that I had to be successful to be worthy of your love. To be worthy of someone so utterly beautiful inside and out. You were truly my morning light. And I hurt you. I hurt you because I was insecure and so lost in my head.” He blew out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “And Y/N, I can’t even begin to explain how much it kills me to sit here with you knowing I did that. And I think that’s because my heart will always be yours, y’know. And I know I’m rambling but I’ve been meditating on this for the past few years because it always bothered me to hear how great and peachy things were for you with that Seokjin guy from Yoongi-hyung, I… don’t know…”

You sat up and finally made eye contact with Jungkook at his confession, resting a comforting hand on his chest. “Jungkook, can I tell you something?”

“Of course.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about…” You whispered as Seokjin stood before you under a streetlight at the park not too far from his apartment. 

“My love, I just can’t do this anymore. I love you so much but it’s time we both be honest.” Seokjin reached for your gloved hand. It was the tail end of autumn and the first signs of winter were beginning to make its appearance. “I don’t think we should meet anymore.”

Tears lined your eyes but the rush of the emotion present was so foreign to you. You knew you should have been sadder and while you were sad... However, at that point, you realized that you were more sorrowful about losing Seokjin as a person in your life than your actual romantic relationship ending. That’s when it hit you, the tears falling. “How did you…”

“My love, you're one of the most intelligent people I know but I don’t think you even realized it yourself. But your heart isn’t in it with me. And that’s okay, I’ll always have a soft spot for you and I’m sure you know that.” Seokjin sighed as he respectfully let go of your hand and took a definitive step back, still handsome and composed. “I’m afraid I just can’t keep fighting like this for a love that was never meant to be mine in the first place.”

“I think that it will always be you.” You whispered, at this point your lips just mere centimeters from Jungkook’s. 

“It’ll always be you, too,” Jungkook responded, too drunk in your perfume and the feeling of your being so close to his. “Y/N, can I tell you something now?”

“Of course.”

“Would it be okay if I kissed you right now?”

Wordlessly, you closed the gap between you two. The second your lips connected, it felt a lot like a warm summer day. Electricity turned static force kept you connected like that. Soon, lips moved in sync like rolling ocean waves during low tide. Hands lost in hair and tracing all the valleys of each other’s bodies, leaving goosebumps at they traversed every familiar inch. Jungkook’s plush lips felt so homey and so right. Your hand went right back to resting on his chest, feeling the intense beating of his heart. A pace set for you only. 

It hurt so much to have to disconnect so you both could catch your breath. 

“Wow…” Jungkook licked the last taste of you off his lips, savoring the moment with his eyes closed and forehead rested upon yours. “I missed this so fucking much. I missed you so much.” 

“Please kiss me again...” Your eyes gazed into his and he obliged happily. 

And your lips found each other again just like that.

Hands grew more adventurous as the kiss grew more heated. Jungkook’s calloused and cold hands made their way under your shirt, cupping your tender breasts through your bra. At this, you gently pushed him to sit back further on the couch so you could climb on top. The second you straddled his hips, you began to grind down onto his clothed dick, earning you a grunt of satisfaction. His hands grew impatient as he then pushed your shirt and bra up to reveal perky nipples, the chill of the night making them more erect. 

“You look a little cold, baby. But don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.” He said before taking one nipple into his mouth and his free hand making sure the other wasn’t left unattended. You couldn’t help the moan that escaped you as he was living up to his words. 

You reached down between your bodies and slipped them into his denim jeans, feeling his hot and heavy dick in the palm of your hands. This got you another grunt from Jungkook, suddenly you were on your back lying down on the couch and Jungkook flashed you his charismatic smile. “Getting a little handsy, I see.” He leaned down and began kissing your neck, remembering your sweet spot despite your time apart. It was his turn for his hand to slip into your pants, gathering your slick between his fingers to play with your clit.  “Baby, let me eat you out, okay?”

You could have easily come right then and there. 

You barely managed a nod as you felt him pull down your jeans and panties in tow after kicking off your sneakers. Once off, Jungkook sat back as he in the sight of your sprawled like that before him. Snapping out of his daze, he crouched down and just lost all sense of shame the second his mouth tasted you. Sucking rhythmically on your clit, rubbing circles on your inner thigh, it was all too much. The sloppy sounds of his saliva mixing in with your wetness were all you could focus on as you felt your walls tighten on nothing. 

“Jungkook, baby, your fingers…”

He didn’t need to be told twice as he continued his string of slurps on your pussy and inserted one finger, beginning to stretch you out. The loudest moan escaped you embarrassingly considering you both were in a public place. However Jungkook didn’t care, he was making up for lost time after all. And then another long digit went inside you, pumping wildly and that was it.

The threads of the rope in your stomach were wound so tight that the fine fibers were beginning to give. Jungkook knew your undoing was near so he continued his onslaught of your pussy with his mouth and fingers. Soon enough, the rope snapped, your eyes sealed shut as you saw white and your jaw went slack while you continued to leak out. Your body felt utterly buoyant, among the clouds, and your mind far ahead of your physical being. How long had it been since you came like that?

Jungkook happily lapped up your cum like a man who had gone without water. “You look so fucking beautiful, so beautiful.”

“Need you… inside…” You finally said as you came to and began to remove Jungkook’s leather jacket and his white tee. “More, I want more of you…”

His smile shined as the bottom half of his face was proudly covered in your slick. That dazed smile stayed plastered as he undid the bucket of his belt, the jingle of his pants and boxers hitting his ankles had you in anticipation. 

“Your wish is my command, baby. All yours… I’m all yours” He continued to toy with your already sensitive clit as he began to gently push himself inside your tight core. Both your eyes went wide with how good the tight fit was. It took everything in Jungkook to not come at that moment. His eyes only got a glimpse of the delectable scene of where he entered you before he had to screw them shut in concentration. “You feel so good as always, could die like this.”

You began to move around him, wanting friction and he took that as his sign to start moving as well. What started as slow and steady, became desperate and erratic. He hovered over you, his lips on the valley of your neck and hand gripping onto your breast as you felt every single velvet inch of him fuck you. Your arms wrapped around his neck, trying to pull him closer if that was even possible. It was all-consuming, it was otherworldly. He hit you in all the right places and it was so good that you didn’t know what to do with yourself. 

“Jungkook, just like that, baby. Let’s come together, okay?” You spoke into his ears which kicked him into overdrive. You were so full of him. His hand fondling your painfully erect nipple, his mouth right on the spot he knew would have you, and Jungkook groaned as you clenched him so tight, having him reach his own undoing. A sheen of sweat lined Jungkook’s forehead as he cocked a focused brow. He drank in the fucked out image of you, encouraging him to thrust into you even more sporadically despite how sensitive you both were.

It felt so right to be filled up with his cum, with his dick, with him. 

The two of you sat there in that fucked out state for a couple more minutes to catch your breath again. 

Eventually, Jungkook got up with that dopey smile still on his face as he began to dress you despite still lying on the couch and straighten your clothes. He punctuated each movement with a peck on your swollen lips. His movements were more delicate and tender compared to the heated desperation from moments ago. Once he was dressed as well, he collapsed with you on the couch with his arm slung around you.

“You’re so beautiful.” He made eye contact again, however his airy smile faltered at seeing your bittersweet expression make another appearance. “Hey, baby… what’s wrong?”

“Where do we go from here, Jungkook?” You asked as you reached for his face, caressing a cheek with your thumb. “Because now I’m going to be even more sad when morning comes…”

Fuck. Jungkook had been so caught up in that moment that he didn’t realize what the consequences would be after the fact. While he sure as hell didn’t regret what happened, he didn’t want to hurt you any more than he already has. 

“It doesn’t have to be like that… we can work something out. I can figure something out. I just – I just don’t want you to regret this, regret us… Just give me some time to think and I can –”

You quietly stopped him with a shake of your head, letting him know that it was okay. “It’s okay, you belong in LA, where your life is now. And I belong in Seoul, where my life is now – I know that much. I can’t ask you to uproot your life and give up the band, nor could I leave Seoul given everything happening at home. Just know that I don’t regret this, not at all. However, it’ll be quite sad when morning comes.”

Jungkook could only nod at the heaviness of your words. While they were a hard pill to swallow, they were correct. Both those things rang true in his head. He ached for you so much now he had another taste of life with you, but you both knew there was nowhere to go from here. By late noon, you’ll already be on a flight back to Seoul and he’ll be headed to Vienna to start the European leg of Bring the Soul’s tour. 

“I’ll be sad when morning comes, too. Irrevocably sad.” Jungkook knew that would be the extent of all he could say then. 

Silently, he sat upright where he led you to rest your head in his lap. He looked down at you fondly, a matching bittersweet expression on his face as he began to stroke your hair. A quiet promise was exchanged between you both to enjoy these last moments of intimacy before the sun rose. 

You both had fallen asleep on that rooftop lounge. Then you woke up around 6AM to Jungkook trying to get you up, talking about taking you to one more place before the night was officially over. Eventually, you both were jogging out of the luxury apartment building, hand in hand, as the two of you entered the subway station to head southwest to the piers to catch the sunrise. 

It was a solemn train ride, to say the least. Both of you avoided each other’s eyes on the ride, like anxious teenage lovers who experienced their first quarrel. It was hell, and the time when you both got off at your correct stop couldn’t have come sooner. His hands still intertwined with yours as you walked off into the morning world, the sun beginning to make its appearance known. The morning’s dew still coated the patches of grass as you both traveled to the edge of the pier which overlooked the water. 

At this point, the blue hour had long passed as the bright star that is our sun began to peek through the horizon. The sky turned from midnight blue to a vibrant yellow with hints of orange. That’s it. This is it…

The morning had officially come. 

You cursed every cliched metaphor referencing the elusiveness of time… the grains of sand slipping through fingertips, the ticking of clock hands that echo in the back of your head, the passage of breezes, and the eventual rising of the morning sun. 

Jungkook smiled gently, wiping away a tear with his thumb which you didn’t even feel form as it fell down your cheek. “Don’t worry.”

“I just want you to know that I loved being in this moment. Sharing this night with you, that tonight it felt like New York was all ours. I could have never seen its beauty and experienced its magic the way I did with you.” Barely managing through your cries, you gasped for a breath as you tried to make out the next words. “But why did things have to turn out this way?”

The loud caws of the seagulls as they flew over the pier and the cold morning air fell onto forgotten senses as the only thing you could feel was the intensity of Jungkook’s stare on you. From your forehead that he placed a tender kiss upon, to your eyes that mirrored that silent longing his contained, the nose that he nuzzled against his, and chin that he held softly in his rough hand… It was like he was taking a picture of you at that moment. A moment where he was not rockstar Jeon Jungkook, but the Jungkook who always found a way to make you laugh and the Jungkook you dreamed of sharing matching rings with. And you were not the person living too fast for anyone to keep up with, but a person who could find the beauty in anything and the person that Jungkook could write a million and one songs about.

“Shh,” he comforted you as his arms wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest. “I really can’t thank you enough for tonight… I’ve never hated to see morning as much as I do now.” He chuckled dryly at the irony of all. 

You pulled back, surprising the man who towered over you. You held his confused face in your hands and smiled. “Me, too. I hope you know that.”

“I do now…” He whispered as though louder words could break the moment before placing a chaste kiss on one of the hands that cupped his face.

“Now what?” Your hands fell from his face and rested on his chest. 

Jungkook sighed in contemplation as he peered past you into the blossoming orange horizon before recentering his eyes on you and grin losing its warmth, being replaced with sadness. “Good morning, I guess.”

The gravity of the situation settled upon you both silently.

“None of that dramatic ‘goodbye’ shit in the morning!” You tipsily pointed at Jungkook with your beer who only laughed at your theatrics as some foam spilled.

Between chuckles, Jungkook was barely able to let out. “Okay, then what do we say at the end? When it’s morning?”

“What people always say at that time – ‘good morning’ and not goodbye. Let’s make it a nice ending for us, I feel like that would do us both justice.” Your gaze was too hazy to see the seriousness that lined his face but he shook it off and plastered his signature smile despite the storm in his heart. “I know it’s a little cheesy, but I don’t want to be sad in those last minutes with you.”

“Okay, we’ll bid each other ‘good morning’ when dawn comes then we go on with the rest of our lives. No sad stuff.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah, I promise.”

“Good morning, Jungkook.” No matter how dazzling your smile was, Jungkook could never be distracted from the tears that lined your gorgeous eyes. 

No physical closeness could ever combat the weight of what daybreak meant for you both.

“For JK?” The driver of the Uber called out of the window as he pulled up. 

You and Jungkook stood before each other again, hand in hand for the final time. You squeezed his rough hand, a wordless command of it’s time to let go. And just like that, his hand – despite its hesitation – followed and released its grip on yours. No matter how disheveled you both may have looked from the sleepless night of journeying, it all felt surreal.

“Good morning, Y/N.”

“Good morning, Jungkook.”

Then one more quick kiss before you had gotten into the car he ordered for you and began the journey back to your life. A life without Jeon Jungkook. You rode with the window down, taking the sight of New York in a new day’s light. It felt so foreign and so different from the New York you experienced in the last fifteen hours with Jungkook. That taxi driver was right, you were convinced, that New York was a magical place and had so much more to offer. 

You abruptly felt something wrinkle in the pocket of your jeans as you adjusted yourself in the backseat of the car. Reaching in, you fished out a Katz’s Deli napkin and remembered how Jungkook was writing on it when you had excused yourself to go to the bathroom. You carefully unfolded the napkin and read what was written on it: I’m sure by the time you’ll see this, you would’ve given me the most memorable night I could never forget even if someone were to beat it out of me. I’m dreading sunrise as I write this right now. Though, I’ll hold close what tonight has in store for us. I don’t know if our paths will ever cross again, but I’m sure that this was the most beautiful sunrise I could ever experience because it was with you.

You pondered the possibilities as the heartache fully set in from reading his note. What if you told this Uber to turn around right now? What if you stayed longer? What if you took Jungkook’s offer to figure something out? What if you didn’t have to say goodbye on that forsakenly beautiful pier? What if?

However, it no longer mattered. 

This was the reality you both lived in. 

You had the connection, felt it again, and let it take its course. 

That was what mattered. No what ifs, maybes, or perhapses. What matters is only what happened and that it, in fact, did happen. 

Jungkook watched your car disappear into the morning traffic commute, gone was the warmth that you both shared on that chilly spring morning. He began to laugh at himself, at how cruel the universe was. It could have been perfect. It could have been the ultimate love story. It all could’ve. 

Jungkook kicked a random pebble in his path as he finally looked at his phone log after putting his phone on Do Not Disturb for the whole duration with you.

Min Yoongi | 2 Missed Calls

FROM: Min Yoongi | Where the fuck did you run off to?

Park Jimin | 6 Missed Calls

FROM: Park Jimin | Yah, where’d you go??

FROM: Park Jimin | Please tell me you didn’t do anything stupid I swear to god Jeon Jungkook 

Kim Taehyung | 5 Missed Calls

FROM: Kim Taehyung | You bastard, don’t tell me you went off to explore New York on your own

FROM: Kim Taehyung | Broooo, you didn’t even check in to your hotel room? You should’ve told meeeeeee

FROM: Kim Taehyung | You’re so foul for leaving me just to be bored while you went on a night adventure of the city that never sleeps smfh

Manager Sejin | 13 Missed calls

FROM: Manager Sejin | Kid, where the HELL did you go? Call me back asap

FROM: Manager Sejin | Jungkook this isn’t funny

Jungkook laughed at the missed notifications from the group and his manager before giving Yoongi a call back, reasoning that he would be the most level-headed given all the missed notifications after sending a quick message. 

TO GROUP: Bring the Soul | Hey, I’m ok lol. I’m at the pier

The caller's ring sounded twice before Yoongi picked up groggily, but still picked up nonetheless. “Where the hell did you go last night?”

“Just hanging around. New York is a magical place, hyung.” Jungkook responded vaguely but Yoongi caught the hint of bittersweetness in the younger’s tone. 

“Alright… We’re about to get breakfast at a restaurant close to you. I’ll text you the address. Meet us there by 9AM.”

“Sounds good, hyung.”

“Okay. And uh… are you alright?” 

Damn Yoongi’s intuition, Jungkook thought to himself and sighed into the receiver of his cell phone. 

“Yeah… it’s a damn good morning after all.” 

© bbangtans | please do not re-distribute in any way without permission.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

OMG RAVEN YOU’RE INTO EVER AFTER HIGH? I love it but can’t talk about it bc none of my friends have seen it 😭 I wish it was talked about more, especially with how deep their lore runs. I love EAH’s dynamics with the complexities of destiny. If twst followed the same logic as eah’s world it would be so interesting. How would you feel if the worlds were to mesh together and how it would work? You can interpret that in any way you want; the characters meeting or twst being bound to the same rules and societal expectations of eah, or whatnot.

Also who’s your favorite eah character compared to your favorite twst character (Leona)?Jade, right?

And have you read the eah books? I haven’t, but I’m going to try to sometime!

Eah alt account when?

I'm still salty that the Monster High x Ever After High crossover movie never saw the light of day-- Part of the reason why I don't like Disney (I mean the faceless corpo, not all Disney products) is because they have such a strong association with fairy tales that it pushes other interpretations out of the market or it leads to people assuming Disney "owns" those fairy tales. Ever After High's lore and themes run so much deeper than most other fairy tale reimaginings I've seen (and I've seen a lot). It's such a shame it doesn't get the respect and recognition it deserves even though EAH is the one out here challenging the status quo whereas modern Disney is content with mediocrity that appeals to the masses.

I think EAH and TWST, at their cores, share similar ideas so combining them would work well. Friendship, self-identity, defining your own future, questioning what "good" and "evil" truly are... It's all there. I'd imagine that if Twisted Wonderland (or at least NRC) followed the same rules as EAH, then everyone would be descendants of their Disney counterparts. (This is actually a common misperception of what TWST was to new fans; people mistakenly believe the TWST characters are children of the classic Disney villains. This has never been canon.) Unfortunately, I'd have to take away the Disney villains being twisted to be "good" guys in Twisted Wonderland's world in order for this to work by EAH rules, so... There's that to consider. This, in turn, can result in the student body splitting into Royals (pro-following one's destiny) and Rebels (anti-following one's destiny). Perhaps RSA and NRC could be one school in this AU...? Just so we have a mix of "good" and "evil" descended children in the same vicinity as one another. A must-have are the constantly bickering Narrators!! It's only really when Yuu shows up that the majority opinion starts to shift. Maybe then Crowley becomes concerned with students rising up and fighting back against the system that relies on them being complacent to keep the cycle of stories going. I've seen some readings of EAH which theorize that Royals guaranteed a happy ending is a stand-in for privilege, and that interpretation leads into very interesting conflicts when we also consider that magic in Twisted Wonderland is a privilege afforded to few.

To cover just the dorm leaders (because covering all the TWST characters would make this post way longer), I definitely see Riddle, Kalim, Idia, and Malleus as Royals and Leona, Azul, and Vil as Rebels. Here's my thought process:

Riddle is pretty self-explanatory. He comes from a background where he's used to being told what to do by his mother and so he also heavily relies on her strict, unyielding teachings to play by the book when he goes out there in the real world. Riddle is inflexible and hesitant to go against the grain--and, more importantly, he fully believes that following the rules will lead to his happiness... that doing as his fairy tale ordains will lead to a happy ending. What happens to the Queen of Hearts is dubious in the end since it's framed as Alice's dream, so I think that vagueness gives Riddle hope that by behaving himself, he'll earn the happiness he desires.

Leona is a Rebel, and not just because that's the aesthetic of his dorm. Being that he is highly intelligent and demonstrates a lot of foresight, he'd be aware of what future is in store for him and aggressively fighting against that. It would make him more desperate than ever to prove his worth, because not only does everyone see his powers as terrifying, but they also see him as a future brother murderer and dictator that will bleed the land dry of resources. It'd make the situation with his family even more strained than it already is, not to mention the extra jealousy he must feel toward Cheka, who is still too young to understand what's going to happen later.

Azul is someone who acts like a Royal but is actually a Rebel. He acts polite and like he plays by the rules, but clearly he doesn't behind the scenes. I see Azul as the kind of Rebel akin to Duchess Swan... as in, he believes he can steal away someone else's destiny for himself. Azul would constantly be looking for loopholes to save himself. He's put way too much stock into becoming a better, stronger person and he'd want to defend this new life he has made for himself. His obsession with protecting his contracts could translate well here.

Kalim is a Royal because he's mega rich and has been sheltered from the concept of bad things that happen to normal people; he has nothing to worry about. It also helps that Kalim is twisted from a character that doesn't meet a bad ending. I think he'd be aware of Jami's doomed destiny, but Kalim is so ignorant that he thinks it'll just be fine and it'll work itself out. Part of his growth could be being forced to reckon with the reality that Jamil is suffering under the legacy assigned to him and accepting the role that he plays in that by not acting.

Idia is a Royal--or at least pre-book 6 Idia is. He's a very pessimistic guy and repeatedly expresses hopelessness about the future, bemoaning the curse he and his family have to bear. Idia doesn't want to try to fight his fate, he's already accepted that it will happen and so closes himself off from others to save himself that heartbreak. Post-book 6 Idia will have swapped over to the Rebel side thanks to Ortho reviving the hope in him.

Vil is a Rebel simply for the fact that he fights social conventions. He's already out here shattering gender roles, but finds it much harder to breach that expectation that villains are just villains and nothing more. Vil keeps getting rejected at every turn, told that it's impossible to rewrite his story, that his frustrations are the natural result of jealousy and an ugly heart that festers in side of him. He steels himself to prove that notion wrong, working himself to the bone to get up on that stage and stay on it, waiting to be lavished with praise that he truly is the fairest one of all. I feel this would be so fascinating for Vil's own arc about self acceptance; maybe he wears himself down emotionally because he HAS to basically be perfect due to his job but also denies himself normal feelings like anger and jealousy because confessing that you have such "ugly" feelings only validates that you're shallow just like the stories say you will be.

Malleus is a tough one, but I settled for Royal in the end. Maleficent is doomed to be slain by a sword, right? So am I saying that THE Malleus Draconia, who is infamously arrogant about his magical abilities, would lie down and take a stab like that? Of course not! However, I do think that Malleus is initially someone who values tradition and living up to noblesse oblige. As the future ruler of a nation, people's stories are relying on him to play his expected role out, which he'd be fully cognizant of. I also think Malleus would be afforded the luxury of not having to face his destiny as soon as his peers are due to his long life span. This is in part because the person destined to slay him doesn't come into his life for literally hundreds of years. Then when book 7 arrives, Malleus has to deal with his loved ones leaving and/or betraying him as well as the realization that this is his destiny: dying alone and unloved. That'd just break him.

ahdbiqwdbqwli I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS AU FOR FOREVER BUT I'LL CUT IT SHORT OR ELSE I'LL NEVER SHUT UP 😭

EAH has so many good characters and interesting storylines, it's hard for me to pick a favorite! I of course love Apple and Raven's dilemmas, but I feel like it's cheating to pick one of them as my favorite. The whole Wonderland gang is also fantastic... I'm a sucker for their aesthetic, but they're so fun and silly in general. Kitty, Lizzie, and especially Madeline are 👌

Mmm, when I think long and hard about it, I think my favorite EAH character has to be Briar Beauty, daughter of Sleeping Beauty. Firstly, I love all the pink, roses, and bramble in her design. Secondly, I love the layers to why she is the way she is. Briar's a party girl not because "lmao, wouldn't that be a funny haha subversion of Sleeping Beauty" but because she wants to live life up before she falls asleep for 100 years and literally loses all her friends and family to the natural passage of time. That's seriously so smart and such an inventive way to think about the trauma a descendant of Sleeping Beauty might have. Seeing Briar transition from one of Apple's besties and biggest supporters to an outright rebel is satisfying as heck. (Gotta take a moment to shout out this classic moment :3)

I don't know if I would compare Briar to Jade since they're entirely different characters. However, looking at the source material, I'm actually surprised I like Briar as much as I do since I have never cared for the story of Sleeping Beauty. A part of me finds this ironic since Malleus harbors a similar fear as Briar (losing loved ones) yet I see Malleus's desire as way more selfish and self-serving than Briar's. I believe that's because Briar doesn't have the same arrogance as Malleus, so I'm more forgiving with her. EAH's actual equivalent to Malleus is Faybelle, daughter of the Dark Fairy, but I don't like her as much as I do Briar (hence why I'm comparing Malleus and Briar, not Malleus and Faybelle).

I haven't read the EAH books but I want to one day! I'd prefer to borrow them since I don't have enough space in my room for more physical books, so as soon as I find copies at a library or something...

This blog has kind of become a place where I occasionally talk about my other interests, generally as it relates to TWST, my main interest. I'd like to keep it like this since managing multiple blogs can be so draining. It already takes quite a bit of time to regularly write responses to asks just on one blog!

[quincywillows]

like i remember the vitriol that came out when the mere PREMISE for ballad of songbirds and snakes came out bc it was “about the villain” and wasn’t instead a novella of one of the many cute likeable faves of the masses. i remember how fast people were to tear down the book before it even came out (and still do now). and it’s like look, i get it, suzanne created so many interesting characters that it would be incredible to learn more about and get more content for. but her choosing to write about snow for a prequel isn’t like Romanticizing The Villain or whatever bullshit y’all are claiming as hot takes on twitter -- ballad fits right into the common themes and tone of the series in that its not a romanticization but a reflection on how snow became what we know him as in the original series. both in how he already had some less than charming or healthy traits (just like katniss does -- suzanne is always clear that people are not inherently good nor evil and parallels were drawn between how snow and katniss view the world and think strategically, etc, from the second book), but also in how society and the choices of the greater community in panem created snow. like ballad is a really interesting piece of lore and history and worldbuilding for an already rich and elaborate setting that suzanne created, allowing us to see how that world even came to be and the kind of toxic impact it had on the people surviving in it while still pointing out that those people are human and that everyone has humanity and yet can still cause unfathomable harm to one another based on circumstance and need to survive and pressures of all kinds and like i have lost the plot here now but suzanne is one of the best authors of our time who actually gives a shit about creating layered, nuanced characters and worlds rather than black and white good and evil and unfortunately the hyperpolarization of our hot takes social media culture nowadays just can’t handle her anymore. suzanne im so sorry we don’t deserve your storytelling. anyway i’ll be seated for this movie y’all can skip and keep giving lukewarm takes on twitter to make urself seem so smart for hating a book you probably didnt even actually read

[miuszn]

ellie x reader where ellie comes home after patrol (or after college class if u like modern!ellie more) and sees you wearing one of her shirts with only panties underneath and she gets a littleee feral 🥹

i’m so into you

SETTING : jackson ( canon universe before joel’s death , or not , up to u !! )

RATING : 18+

WC : 2203

WARNINGS : overstimulation , kinda vanilla ? , fingering ( r!recieving ) , oral ( r!recieving ) , top!ellie , she calls u princess , not proofread

NOTES : hii .. so sorry this took so long !! pls forgive me i’ve been so busy 🥹🫶 the end is a liiiiittle bit half assed bc i was trying rlly hard to finish this and i feel like i’m gonna have writers block soon so i was getting out as much as i could before that. so pls forgive me ik the aftercare isn’t too thought out i was trying to come up w stuff i promise but i just couldn’t . anyway . if this was ur request , i hope u enjoy !! i rlly liked this idea i got to writing it right away eheh

— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —

ellie had a long and tiring day on patrol. it was one of those days she had been unfortunately assigned to one of the areas that had the most infected to clear out, and while it wasn’t a difficult task for her, it was most definitely not something she enjoyed doing either. not only that, but she had to cover for jesse almost immediately after getting back to jackson since he had caught a really bad cold, which meant she was pretty much out the entire day. while this wasn’t something common, it was something that happened every once in a while and it was never enjoyable for her nor for you. of course you understood she had a job to do, but you always dreaded these days where she had more to do than usual.

it was sunset, and you decided to take a quick shower before it got dark. you realized none of your clothes you washed had dried yet, so you decided to just throw on one of ellie’s t-shirts and thought you’d simply figure it out tomorrow. night fell and you started to worry about whether your girlfriend would get back safely, while you knew for sure she’d be fine, there was always that thought in the back of your mind that made you worry. you decided to just watch a movie to get your mind off it and stop worrying about her. you scanned through the collection of dvd’s ellie had stored and wondered how she even managed to get so many. you didn’t think about it too much and grabbed a random one, since you weren’t gonna watch the whole thing anyway, and sat down.

it wasn’t long before ellie finally got home, and you stood up excitedly to greet her as soon as she came through the door. you hugged her and gave her a peck on the cheek, happy that she made it back home safe.

“you were out all day,” you complained, “i missed you so much.”

“m’ sorry babe,” she apologized, “had to cover for jesse. the guy got sick again, i don’t know how the hell he even manages to get sick so often.”

“well, what’s important is you’re here and your safe. i was worried about you, you know?”

“you don’t have to worry about me,” she brushed you off, “i’m fine, see?”

you playfully rolled your eyes and pulled away, that’s when she finally got a good look at you and she realized you were only wearing a t-shirt. her t-shirt. she knew you knew she struggled to control herself whenever she saw you in her clothing, regardless of how many times she might complain about having nothing to wear after you use them all. but you hadn’t thought about that when you just threw it on, in fact, you pretty much completely forgot about all that.

ellie wasn’t sure on wether or not she was gonna make a move, she wasn’t sure if you were in the mood and didn’t want to make thinks awkward. she figured you would just want to spend some time with her after she’d been out all day, and nothing beyond cuddling and some kisses. regardless, she decided to test the waters.

you both sat down back on the couch and continued watching the movie. you gave ellie a short summary of what had happened so far so she would understand what was going on in the movie, but little did you know she wasn’t interested in the movie. her eyes were on you.

a few minutes into the movie, she put her hand on your waist and gently pulled you closer to her, and then rested her hand on your thigh. whew. you loved it when she did little things like that, it turned you on whenever she showed hints of possessiveness no matter how small, and she knew this. that’s exactly why she was doing it. she was trying to see how long it would take for you to crack, how long it would take for you to beg her to touch you. although you felt a little heat from the small gesture, you weren’t aware that was her intention. you didn’t think much of it, as it was something she did often and it might’ve simply been out of habit.

about 10 more minutes passed by and ellie realized that hadn’t been enough. she noticed the goosebumps on your skin from the cold, and saw there was a small blanket on the end of the couch on her left, so she reached and grabbed it.

“you cold?” she asked.

“yeah,” you replied. “not a lot though, it’s fine.”

“we can use this blanket,” she suggested, “it’s kinda small though. wonder how we can share it.”

“maybe.. i can sit on your lap?” you responded, not considering the implications she might get from it. of course, she agreed. now she was one step closer to having you exactly how she wanted you. she let her hands wander around and finally rested them on your waist. she started placing gentle kisses behind your neck and on your shoulders, and you finally caught on to what she was trying to do.

“ellie..”

“hm?” she didn’t stop what she was doing.

in that moment you remembered how much she loves you wearing her shirts. you hadn’t put thought into it when you first put it on, but now it was all starting to make sense “i know what you’re trying to do..” you said.

“n’ what’re you gonna do about it, princess?” she said, playful smirk tugging on her lips. she knows how much you like that nickname. it turns you on, and she knows it. she moved your leg slightly, parting your legs so your cunt would be directly on her leg, the only barrier being her jeans and your panties. held your waist a little tighter and started slightly and slowly moving you back and forth, stimulating your clit through the thin cloth of your panties with the friction of her rubbing you against her leg, causing you to let out a few whimpers and soft moans. while the rough fabric of her jeans rubbing against your clit, your panties providing little protection, felt a little uncomfortable, it was something you could overlook. she kept moving your hips back and forth for a moment before stopping and removing one of her hands from your waist and moving it to your inner thigh. she placed it there for a second, then slowly moved it up your crotch and lightly tugged on your panties.

“may i?”

you nodded, and she swiftly removed them and threw them somewhere on the floor. she teasingly slid a finger along your slit, making you softly moan at the contact of her cold fingers against your warm skin.

“wow, barely touched you n’ you’re already so wet. aren’t you embarassed?”

you bit your lip and looked down, trying to contain

the noises that wanted to escape your mouth. after a few moments of her sliding her finger along your slit to tease you, you started to get fed up and needed more.

“els, please..”

“hm? please what, baby?”

“please.. fuck me already..”

“you’re gonna have to try a lil’ harder than that, pretty girl.” she smirked, and started rubbing circles on your clit. she didn’t want to give you what you wanted immediately, she wanted to have a bit of fun with you first.

“ellie, please, f-fuck.. please fuck me..” you begged.

“hmm.. alright princess, i will.”

she slid a finger inside you and started gently thrusting it in and out of you. she went at a slower pace, and she was doing it on purpose. she loved teasing you, especially when you got all whiney and started begging her to do more. it didn’t take long before you started to get impatient from the small amount of stimulation she was giving you.

“too little..” you blurted out.

“oh?” she poorly pretended to be surprised by your remark. “is it really?”

“y-yes.. please.. more..”

“you sure you want more?” she chuckled. “can you handle it?”

you nodded, just so desperate to feel more. she slid another finger in you and pumped them in and out at a faster pace, curling them to hit your sweet spot causing you to moan louder and more than you previously were. soon enough, she felt your walls clench around her fingers and she knew you were close. she kept thrusting her fingers in and out of you, but started using her free hand to rub circles on your clit, causing you to whine from the overstimulation. she realized this and started to tease you.

“what happened, tough girl? didn’t you say you could handle it?”

“ah.. ellie..” you whined.

“you sound so pretty like this. all whiny n’ such a mess from me touchin’ you. so cute. and no one gets to see you like this except for me.”

“i’m..”

“i know, princess. cum for me.”

and almost on cue, you did. you thought that was it, but she lifted you with ease and laid you down on the couch, discarding the blanket you guys had been sharing until now. you were still sensitive from the orgasm you just had, so you thought ellie was done. but you were far from right. you looked over to your panties that were on the floor thinking you were about to put them back on, but it’s as if she read your mind and said,

“you won’t need those for now.”

you looked at her a little confused.

“what, you think i’m done with you?” she chuckled, getting on the couch and positioning her head between your legs, gently forcing them open. “we’re not done ‘till i say we’re done. got it?”

“w-wait, ellie, i’m still-“

she gave you a long lick to tease you, which caused you to moan.

“sensitive?” she finished your sentence for you. “even better.”

with that, she started to eat you out as if you were her last meal, and she was not being gentle at all. she didn’t give two shits that you were still sensitive. in fact, it turned her on even more hearing your loud moans and heavy breaths, and seeing the small tears that flowed from your eyes due to the overstimulation as she licked you and sucked on your clit mercilessly. she then slid in two fingers, again, continuing to stimulate your clit with her mouth as she pumped her fingers in and out of you at a rapid pace while curling them with every thrust. you felt like you were in heaven, but at the same time, felt like you were in hell. it was a little painful, but you didn’t mind a little bit of pain because it was overshadowed by the pleasure you were feeling. you felt your mind go blank, all you could feel was ellie mercilessly fucking you with her mouth and fingers. at one point you ended up losing track of all the times you came due to the intense feeling and only came to your senses once she was done. she gave you a few moments to cool down, and when you finally snapped back to reality, she was caressing your face and watching closely to make sure you were fine.

“you did so good, baby,” she praised. “was i.. uh.. was i too rough?”

“a little,” you answered honestly, “but it was okay. i loved it.”

“you sure? was it painful at all?”

“a little, but i enjoyed it. i’m fine. don’t worry about it.”

“if i’m ever being too rough, just tell me to stop, ‘kay?” she reminded you, “i don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“ellie, it’s fine,” you insisted. “what was that all about anyway?”

“well, you know,” she broke eye contact. “i just couldn’t resist you. you look so fucking sexy whenever you wear my clothes. you drive me crazy.”

“i wasn’t really thinking about it when i put it on..” you admitted, “but i’m glad you like it. maybe i’ll steal your clothes more often.”

“i’d be happy having barely any clothes to wear if it means i get to see you wearing mine.”

she helped you off the couch, and insisted on carrying you due to your weak legs even though you’d be able to walk to the bed.

“i think i need another shower..” you said once you looked in the mirror and realized how sweaty you are.

“i can get a warm bath running for you,” ellie offered, “if you want i can bring you some snacks or a book while you’re in there.”

“it’s fine-“

“i insist,” she said. “just relax and lay here until it’s ready, okay? i don’t mind doin’ it. i got you like this anyway.”

“ellie..”

you smiled at her and finally accepted. she never once let you do anything like this yourself, especially not after she had been a little rough with you, she needed to make sure you were fine, and she liked taking care of you. and she might not say it often, but she really loves you.

[grecoromanyaoi]

helloo since we're on the topic: top historical fiction (or adjacent) ? can be any time period I just really love your taste in shows/games/etc and am always on the lookout for history inspired media !

thank you!!! im rly glad im like. inspiring other ppl to engage w things im insane abt hudofajsdfdassfsad. anyways. i will probably expand that list bc i literally forgot every single thing i ever read. also i havent watched that many movies so far

ancient times: i havent really watched a lot of movies/series set in ancient times so far :(

rome HBO (2005-2007) (tv series) - OF COURSE. i personally think its one of the best series ever made. they combine political, miliatry history with the lives of every day people in an incredible way. they never let you once engage with the series through modern lenses. according to my teacher (a historian, archeologist & self described 'romaphile') its incredibly historically accurate, mostly the clothing, set designs, characterization, military practices, etc. except for the things they straight up made up, of course.

i really enjoyed gladiator (2000), i think its a masterpiece.

prince of egypt (1998) i guess?

all the asterix movies of course, all the animated ones and most of the live actions. but i wouldnt really call it historical fiction

ok i havent actually finished watching it for now but sebastiane (1976) - an erotic, x rated, gay interpretation of the martyrdom of st sebastian. its in latin also.

wait i cant believe i forgor about assassin's creed odyssey - so far the only one ive played. its so fun and incredibly immersive visually. especially pour moi who cries into the pillow about how ill never experience the ancient world. also you can b a faggot which is always fun. i have things to say about their portrayal of same-sex sexuality and slavery in classical greece but i get why they did that considering its supposed to like. appeal to a lot of people, and a more "historically accurate" portrayal (for example of pederasty or how common slavery was etc.) would b v difficult for a lot of their target audience. alas.

medieval and early modern era:

the name of the rose (1986) - my medieval history teacher literally showed us bits of this movie to teach us about monasteries and monks fhdosiasdjasd.

the borgias (2011-2013) - incredibly messy, lots of political intrigue, and so so fun to watch. about the history of the borgia family. filled to the brim with drama.

the three musketeers (1993) - my favorite adaptation, also coincidentally the one i grew up on. casting tim curry as richelieu was genius. he slays so hard.

i also like bbc's the musketeers (2014-2016) - a neat little series. very fun and entertaining to watch.

outlaw king (2018) - like i dont think most ppl heard of this movie. its about robert the bruce's fight to reclaim the throne of scotland. starring chris pine

vikings (2013-2020) - its fun. i havent watched the entire series tho. dont expect anything resembling historical accuracy

the northman (2022) - you will see something resembling historical accuracy

mihai viteazul (michael the brave) (1971) - a fun movie. very much romanian propaganda tho.

1670 (2023-) - such a fun series!!! incredible cast, shows respect to the actual history and the lives of historical people. really cute and funny.

caravaggio (1986) - a biopic about caravaggio.

wait i also forgor about pentiment - an intriguing, immersive, and incredibly beautiful video game! it has a lot of 'the name of the rose' vibes, with it being a medieval murder mystery taking place in a monastery. its incredibly touching and made me cry, and in the last few years i very rarely cry. also im 99% sure its an indie game? go support the creators!

vaguely-medieval/early modern fantasy:

mirror mirror (2012) - a retelling of snow white. a very fun movie imo, with incredible costume design. julia roberts plays the evil queen and she SLAYS. armie hammer is unfortunately in that movie.

stardust (2007) - one of my fave movies growing up. more modern-inspired but still.

the green knight (2021) - controversial i know but i actually loved this movie! i liked it both as a standalone movie but moreso as a 21st century adaptation to sir gawain and the green knight.

galavant (2015-2016) - !!!!!!! one of the most series ever! they manage to tackle such difficult concepts and conversations with a hilarious wit. so fun to watch. i listen to a lot of the songs still, and rewatch every once in a while.

disenchantment (2018-2023) - very fun to watch, especially the first season.

i also really liked the novel uprooted by naomi novik. its a polish-inspired fantasy.

modern era:

killers of the flower moon (2023) - of course. a masterpiece

aferim! (2015) - a romanian movie set in 19th century wallachia, about two officers, a father and son, who were sent by a nobleman to retrieve an escaped enslaved romani man. a lot of the people in the comments were calling the movie humorous and funny, maybe im missing smth (as im watching with subtitles n dont understand the original language) but it was a very difficult watch for me??

the handmaiden (2016) - need i say more

black sails (2014-2017) - a prequel to the famous novel 'treasure island'. not an easy series to watch. incredibly good.

the favourite (2018) - need i say more pt 2

the rabbi's cat (le chat du rabbin) (2011) - animated movie set in early 20th century algeria. a rabbi's cat learns to talk overnight.

the nice guys (2016) - a fun murder mystery set in the 1970s

o brother, where art thou (2000) - a retelling of the odyssey set in the southern us in the 1930s

victor/victoria (1982) - set in early 20th century paris. julie andrews pretends to be a man and takes on a job as a drag queen. extremely fun, extremely gay movie.

lady chatterley's lover (2022) - very much porn for moms but it was a nice watch imo

amulet (2020) - set in like. idk. sometime in the 20th century. this is a horror movie, deals a lot with misogyny, sa, and so on. i really like it, personally. a lot of people, mostly weird men, dont tho.

the great (2020-2023) - i have mixed feelings about this show. on the one hand, its really fun to watch. on the other hand, its basically ofmd for girls who have public mental breakdowns whenever someone claims corsets were oppressive. and theyre so weird about russians, jesus christ.

disses:

domina (2021-) - i just couldnt get into it, esp since i tried right after finishing rome hbo. it was kind of silly, and not in a good way. takes itself wayyyy to seriously.

i didnt like spartacus (2010-2013) - the dialogue was almost grotesque and the editing, especially the transitions, straight up killed me

damsel (2024) - holy fuck what a trainwreck of a movie. absolute waste of angela basset and robin wright. the only good thing were the costumes.

lancelot du lac (1974) - i just didnt like it at all. couldnt get into it. i guess it was way too french and artsy fartsy for me. a movie that was trying to say both too little and too much at the same time.

i didnt rly like bram stoker's dracula (1992) - i mean. it was a fine movie. it was definitely not the godfather. the movie itself was meh. the visuals tho? absolutely stunning

[pascalsknee]

Hurry

hey, hello, hi. This is my first time posting... I was so inspired by other writers on here bc wow y’all are massively talented. theres something about Joel that couldn’t keep me from writing him hehe

please be gentle on me haha

featuring: no outbreak Joel x afab reader

warnings: 18+, MDNI!

summary: porn with like a lil plot? fingering, cursing

“J-joel…. Joel please.” You begged him.

“Oh sugar,” he hummed, his eyes never leaving from between your legs. “I told you I was gonna take my time with you. Give you exactly what you deserve.” His voice rasped out.

His left arm firmly held your thighs up and out, making sure you stayed nice and open for him. His fingers on his right hand were splayed on your thigh, his large thumb softly rubbing back and forth on your throbbing clit.

Although it felt amazing, it wasn’t nearly enough.

“I need….” You trailed off. What did you need? Because ever since you met the man, this is exactly what you thought you needed. Having him in your personal space, invading your senses with his addicting smell. Just touching you.

Unfortunately, you were greedy.

For what felt like the first time tonight, his eyes met yours. The normal chocolate brown seemingly transformed into pitch black orbs from his lust for you. “What do you need baby?” he questioned. “I thought I was makin’ you feel good.”

He sure as shit was and he knew it based on the smirk on his gorgeous face.

Suddenly the presence of his thumb on your clit disappeared. Before you could protest, you felt one of his long fingers probing your entrance. “We don’t have much time baby," he grunted. "Gonna need you to be a good girl for me, okay?"

"Oh.... oh." Your eyes rolled back as he curled the long digit upwards. He was reaching uncharted territory that you could never reach on your own.

You heard the old pipes upstairs finally shut off. The sound bringing you back to reality where you remembered your mother was upstairs, showering after a long day at work before joining you and Joel for your Friday movie night.

Joel... the neighbor she had been 'seeing' for the last two months.

It wasn't as if they had gone on dates, or fooled around. He was just a friendly guy who lived next door trying to fill his free time now that his daughter, Sarah, was a teenager and only wanted to hang out with her friends.

Enter in the newly moved in single mom of a college aged daughter, who mistook his polite greetings from his driveway every morning as flirting.

You and your mom didn't have a lot in common. But damn did you both agree that Joel was one of the best looking dads on the block.

"Joel we have to stop." you whined.

"Not until you give me what I want, sweet girl." Joel slid another finger in, continuing with curling them upwards until he found what he was looking for. The sound of your slick music to his filthy ears. "You hear that baby? She's talkin' to me."

You reached down and gripped his wrist, trying to get him to stop. The action in itself half-assed as you felt the liquid heat spreading in your lower belly.

"Move your fuckin' hand." He growled, speeding up his fingers as he listened to your mom open the bathroom door and walk into her room.

It would only be a matter of minutes before she would get dressed and the stairs would creak as she descended.

You knew that he wouldn't stop until you came on his fingers or until he heard your mom at the base of the staircase. So you tried to clear your mind and focus on the knot in your belly, silently praying that he'd get you there quickly.

Joel muttered something you couldn't make out before his left hand slid up and wrapped around your throat. He might have applied light pressure, but it was enough for you to feel it. "Come." he demanded.

Finally you tumble over the edge. He thankfully has the mind to move his hand from your throat to covering your mouth just as you let out a throaty moan.

"Good fuckin' girl" he growls, sliding his fingers out of you while you quake on the counter. He places light kisses to your forehead and cheeks while he waits for you to come down from your high.

Unfortunately you can't stay that way as you hear your mom coming down the steps saying something about popcorn and whatever else.

"Shit," you hiss and push him back so you can hop down. Joel reaches down and pulls up your sleep shorts while you fix your hair, hoping you don't look as wrecked as you feel.

Just in time your mom rounds the corner. "Who's ready for Legally Blonde?!"

[little-cereal-draws]

Nimona Stim Headcanons

Nimona: She likes to chew on things in most forms. Wolf, mouse, human, shark, cat, you name it. The problem is her teeth are very sharp and she often breaks whatever's in her mouth. It's been a struggle to find something she can bite without breaking it or hurting herself but Ballister's confident he'll find something eventually. She also likes to shred things as a cat; there are different sensations between shredding paper and cloth but she likes both. Bal gave her a pack of tissue paper once and that entertained her for hours; she was smiling and giggling the whole time. Her shifting itself can be a stim and sometimes she'll rapidly change shape while listening to someone talk to help her focus. Unfortunately, it's usually pretty distracting to the person talking to her. She also likes to listen to music and tap along to the songs. She uses her fingers but also things like pencils and silverware to make different sounds.

Ballister: This man bounces his leg like there's no tomorrow. All- every- all the time. He doesn't even notice he's doing it until someone asks him to stop shaking the whole table. He chews on the back of his pencils/pens while he thinks too. Also doesn't know he's doing it until he looks down and it's covered in bite marks. When he's anxious about something, he'll repeat words and phrases to calm himself down. For example, before he went into knight training evaluations, he would whisper "helmet, sword, chest plate, boots" over and over and over to himself like his life depended on it. Ambrosius asked him if he was ok and he said he was fine, he just wanted to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything. For physical things like that, he'll also touch the object each time he lists it to make sure it's still there.

Ambrosius: He strikes me as a flappy hands kind of guy. When he's super excited or stressed he starts flapping his hands to regulate some of that emotion. He's only started doing it freely recently but he's always found subtle ways to express it. Like doing jazz hands/waving his hands around while talking excitedly or shaking his pencil during stressful meetings or tests. He also really likes soft textures/things. I can see him rubbing his hands over a nice fabric for as long as he can until someone pulls him away. Whenever they watch a movie on the couch, he likes to hug a pillow even tho Bal's right there. I can also see him really liking stuffed animals; he probably had a bunch when he was a kid, had to get rid of them bc he "was too old," but now has a bunch. They're soft and he can hug them and they're shaped like little friends. What's not to love? Bal is the big spoon, Ambs is the middle spoon, and then all of his stuffed animals are the little spoon lol

Dr. Blitzmeyer (bc yes she is a part of this family and I want to include her): This isn't technically a stim but her most important possession is her goggles. As long as she's wearing them there are no bad lights, no eye contact, and a constant reassuring pressure. They started out as a lab safety precaution, but she realized how much they helped and wears them 24/7 now. The only time she takes them off is for showers and bed. But on bad days when she's too anxious and the world is too much, she won't want to take them off and Ballister has to coax her out of them so they won't bruise her face. She also likes pulling on her purse strap while taking to people in public to give her hands smth to do. She likes to chew on things while she thinks too but has a few stim toys for that so she's not putting lab equipment in her mouth like Ballister. She also likes to bite people she feels comfortable with, like a quick soft bite on the shoulder, but you have to be level 3000 in friendship to unlock that so it's not a super common stim. So far she's only done it to Bal and he was pretty confused after, not upset, just confused.

[mallowstep]

✍ 👀

✍ Do you have a beta reader?

Not generally, but sometimes for specific fics. I always credit them as they request.

Working with a beta slows me to a crawl, sometimes at half speed, so I prefer not to. However at times I will get a beta for specific reasons. Reasons for fics currently in progress:

It’s really fucking long and it’d never get done if I didn’t have a second set of eyes

More of a sensitivity reader situation where someone offered to read something to make sure I got the details of something right

And I also have a very social writing process. I would not be the fic author I am without the cat server. They see a lot of a fic before I put it together. Even when it’s not warriors…I just made them all look at a scene glow up bc I was proud of it.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

Oh uh so I only plan one fic ahead and I just posted evidence based practice so unfortunately I can’t tell u about a warriors WIP. Non warriors WIP details under the cut bc ooohhhh I’m so excited about this one I can’t contain myself

K so the next fic im gonna post is (part one of three of) “entreat me not to leave thee” which is omegaverse o/o stucky. It’s been described as “omegaverse but you made it queer” by a friend which is my main goal.

I could talk abt it for ages and if u have questions u can direct them to my main @fencesandfrogs but the basic plot follows the first movie pretty loosely. Bucky is the POV character and he ends up captain America which means I get to use the line “You are a Jewish omega, and tomorrow you are going to be a symbol to the American people” which I really fucking love because I’m just leaning as hard as I can into the idea that the man behind captain America is not what people see in cap.

Meanwhile! Steve gets himself employed among other “queers, criminals, and omegas,” by working special ops. (He is…not a very good spy. Luckily that’s not his job most of the time.)

Part one is the Before but I’m really really excited abt it. I have a few grievances with common tropes in the subsection of the fandom and I want to do my part in taking them down. And I’m very grateful to the friends who are helping me with that.

It’s gonna be a great ride.

[mell0bee]

tagged by @candiedjellybean thank u dude!!! im p sure ive done this tag sometime last year so will be interesting to see if my answers have changed

Are you named after anyone? unfortunately, st. brigid of ireland, but also apparently it's a name thats been in my dad's side of the family too? either way my parents knew of the name due to irish catholic reasons. yipee! though im cool with it bc st. brigid used to be the goddess brigid from irish myth, and also both of them were badasses <3

When was the last time you cried? .....genuinely i think the last time i cried was in like. early march when i watched the holdovers? i think? taking a break from college has greatly decreased the frequency at which i cry lmao

Do you have kids? no sir

Do you use sarcasm a lot? i guess yes? probably about as much as the average person (this is not sarcasm)

What sports do you play? i do not play any currently (though i probs should. i am built like a twig and a strong wind will knock me over.) but as a kid i used to play soccer which i hated and was god awful at and softball which i liked more but i was also god awful at and mostly spent my time hitting foul balls and playing with the grass in right field. but it was fun!

What’s the first thing you notice about people? uhhhhhh. uh?????? if they're wearing a cool outfit or have cool hair or smth? idk man. i guess i dont rlly think abt it?

What’s your eye color? brown

Scary movies or happy endings? uh. both? am p sure my tolerance for horror is a lot higher than most people and im always down for a tragedy but i also like happy endings too. though from a writing perspective happy endings are significantly easier to pull off than sad ones (& more common. hero's journey and all that).

Any special talents? uhhhhh im double jointed in my thumbs. also i can put my foot behind my head. is that a talent? im also working on my sudoku time, i think my lowest time for master difficulty is around 6 mins 30 seconds? which is uh. above average?? i think???

Where were you born? idk apparently they cloned me in a lab somewhere

What are your hobbies? lately playing a lot of video games, writing (mostly fanfic), art stuff (mostly drawing but am learning how to use watercolor), uhhhh.... ttrpgs but i havent gotten to play in a while sadly

Do you have any pets? dog!!!!!

How tall are you? 5'3

Favourite subject in school? science

Dream job? ahahahah funny you should ask that, i say, having been doubting my choices in career aspirations and my post-undergrad 5-year plan that i've had since high school for the past 7 months, (please send help. but. for a serious answer. i think i still want to do science research? just maybe in a softer science like psych even tho my undergrad is bio & neuro???? idk. unsure.)

tagging uhhhhhhh candiedjellybean already tagged most of the ppl i usually tag sooo @halflingkima ? i think i tagged u last time too lol. & anyone else who wants to do this!!!

[cryptids]

.

ok I lost the actual thing unfortunately so I can't post a link to it lmao, but earlier today I saw a long post with a TON of notes and replies from several people "verifying" this being true, about how human intestines are always wriggling around inside us like eels and how in surgery they'll sometimes have to take them out and hang them up on a rack/a row of hooks (I can't remember how exactly it was described?) and they continue moving outside the body. and after having a "🤨 but wait a minute....." moment and then doing some research to be sure I had the right idea, I am back to report to anyone else who might be curious that this is actually a load of bs jsdfgsdfs

They do wriggle around (caused by random contractions to aid digestion, and YES I am sad that its not possible for us to feel it 😔) but the main misconception here is that they aren't just a long unconnected tube thats normally bunched up but can be stretched out when removed from the abdomen. Both the large and small intestines are attached along their entire length to a membrane called the mesentary that sticks them to the back of the abdominal cavity. So if you cut open someone's stomach open they DO fall out to a degree since they're normally more compressed by muscles etc., but its in a big loose clump and it wouldn't go very far...... the idea of like a long tube of intestine "uncoiling" and and being able to be dragged out is really just something you see in movies/fiction.

I do think its pretty interesting though........ normally I wouldn't bother making a whole post disproving something but I thought this one was kind of fascinating. I feel like this misconception must be so common bc most people aren't really aware of the mesentary or forgot about it if we ever learned in school. I have seen a similar membrane in fish I've gutted and cleaned before, but they're very different to human organs and i didnt look too closely dfjgsfdhgs.

But anyway, if anyone else saw that post and has been haunted by it, now you know its not real jsdghsdjfs and nobody is holding intestines up on a rack of hooks during surgeries bc you can't pull them so far out like that lmao.

the green part here ^

[mushroom-ooooooooooooooo]

Rating Characters I've had crushes on. Pt 1.

Disclaimer!!! This will get more unhinged as we go on. I somehow have a thing for dilfs and its kind of weird but whatever. This part is just male characters that I can remember. If you judge, please do it anonymously in my ask box bc I like being a little messy at times/hj. Not all of these were sexual byw!! I was like 9-12 with some of these crushes

Wanring: i am a horny teen girl whos never had a boyfriend. It will get bad.

Book Characters:

Remus Lupin. 10/10. Still fixated on him and his complex character. Hate JKR and her stupid terfy face and literal racism and the way she ruined some of her best characters. (Definitely not salty about tonks and her entire character becoming obsessed with Remus) RIP, bbg. You deserved a better author and less mischaracterization from the fandom.

Cedric Diggory. 8/10. The fixation didn't last long, but it was fun. I think I clinged to him because hes one of like 8 Hufflepuffs mentioned in the books and IM a Hufflepuff.

Percy Jackson. The icon. 9/10. Love that sassy mfer AND HES LOYAL TO ANNABETH?!?!? perfect. Had 9 year old Izzy in a chokehold.

Nico Di Angelo. 7/10. I think I wanted to be friends with him tbh. It wasn't really a crush but more of a 'i am him, and he is me.' He just like me fr fr.

Carlise Cullen. 9/10. Hes a vampire doctor father figure. All the boxes were checked. I don't know why, but I read the hospital scene in twilight and my brain went blank. Same with watching the movie as an 8 year old. Got me giggling and twirling my hair.

Atticus Finch. 11/10. You're starting to see a pattern, aren't you? Bonus point for doing the right thing despite common beliefs at the time of TKAM. He's literally such an interesting character and I think I either want to be fucked by him, or I want him to be my father. I can't decide. He was also played by Gregory Peck, so...🫡 yeah.

Klaus Boudelaire. 7/10. He was smart, and little Izzy had a fixation on smart boys who would read. The actor who played him also looked like my third grade crush and 8 year old Izzy was smitten. I would've been best friends with him fr fr. Count Olaf can catch these pale hands.

Anime Characters:

I would like to preface this by saying I was in middle school and unmedicated. I am still unmedicated, but it was worse then. Thank you for your understanding about whatever the fuck this is about to say about me.

Sebastian Michaelis. 9/10. Still fixated on him. -1 for almost dying multiple times. Black Butler is STILL my shit. It was the first anime I was really into. First Manga I ever read. First hyperfixation I can remember that wasn't a book series, not counting My Little Pony. I saw the butler and father figure and 11 year old Izzy went 👀.

William T Spears. 8/10. I don't know what it was. I just liked him a LOT. The mental illness was taking over.

...Ciel Phantomhive. 7/10. Same reasons as Nico. I wont elaborate further.

Levi Ackerman. 10/10. Who wasn't obsessed with Levi when watching AOT?? Pfff imagine liking a type of napoleon bonapart 🧍‍♂️. Couldn't be me. Not at all. 🧍‍♂️.

Shouta Aizawa. 11/10. I have no words to explain why my brain decided the teacher was my crush. Hes twice my age. Hes sleep deprived. He has zero patience left. But my brain said tehehe go for THAT one. And he was just trying to sleep in that yellow sleeping bag.

Shoto Todoroki. 6/10. I was influenced by the fandom at the time. Hes...fine I guess. Another complex traumatized character. Had 11 year old Izzy in a chokehold. Idfk.

(Unfortunately) Kai Chisaki. 3/10. He was hot to 13 year old Izzy. Complex character but unfortunately a bad person. Can't defend myself here.

Dabi. 4/10. It's slightly better than Chisaki. Had a love/hate thing. I wrote a fanfic about ripping his staples out and leaving him to die. I had problems, if you couldn't tell. Thats literally the only violent thing I'd ever written and it was one of my most popular fics on my old blog (RIP all the fics I deleted)

Kusuo Saiki: 10/10. Looking back on it, he's literally so me core. Would we be friends irl? Probably not. I think my intrusive thoughts would take him back and he'd be like '...what the fuck??' So yeah. But also yeah. He's literally so me. He just wants to be left alone but ALSO SECRETLY ADORES HIS FRIENDS!!!! Had middle school me in a deadlock. Still have stickers of him (everyone say thank you jamie).

TV and Movies:

The Beast from Beauty and the Beast. 6/10. I think its kind of common for little girls. Idk.

Prince Eric. 9/10. I think he was also common for little girls. Bro was brainwashed but lowkey reluctant bc I think he KNEW Ariel was the singing girl. I love himbos.

The Phantom of the Opera. 10/10. We love serial killers who are also obsessive but also very fucked up. And he can play the organ 🙂. Yumby. It was fruit for the soul. Talking about 2004 movie, but 1990s miniseries Erik was also good.

I guess Carlise Cullen coukd also be over here but wtv.

Bela Lugosi Dracula. 7/10. -3 bc I haven't seen the movie but hes so <333. Book Dracula is also <333. They're both such menaces but also so <333

Jack Skellington. I can't even rate this. I have no words for myself.

Beetlejuice. Same with Jack. I have no words for myself.

Hannibal Lecter (NBC series). 9/10. Most recent as of the day im making this. -1 point for making Will go insane. Bros literally insane. I would let him manipulate me 😍/hj. Just kidding. If he was my therapist I would cry. He would say something after psychoanalyzing me and I would start sobbing. And then he'd kill me. Boom.

Will Graham. 9/10. Tbh!!! More of a father figure crush thing. Is also my type. Tragic brunette with glasses. Bro needs a fucking break. Please let him live peacefully. (Number one Jack Crawford hater‼️‼️)

Musicians:

Jareth the Goblin King. 8/10. I love David Bowie. Thats all.

Dracula Tepes (Castlevania). 9/10. Yes he tried killing humanity. They killed his wife. It was only fair. Another vampire dilf. Gotta love em.

Adrian Tepes. ^ 9/10. Dracula's tragic vampire son. I HAVE A TYPE.

Papa Emeritus III: Ghost. 9/10. Made a great Album (Meliora). Our great icon. Wants to fuck Omega (Ghoul) and tbh I get it. Those ghouls are sooo awesome and cool. I love a short flamboyant man who can sing. Favorite song of his is Cirice. And Bible. Bible is underrated fr fr. Is my favorite Papa from Ghost but honestly I love all of them so count that 9/10 as a rating for all of them.

Papa Emeritus IV. 9/10. I love him too. Tbh. The Papa that I have been around for. Thank you Frater Imperator‼️‼️. You go Copia. Hes so bbg coded. Bro has glittery jackets and sings about Rats. Who wouldn't love that??

David Bowie: 10/10. Less of a crush and more of a I love his music so much and I need ALL OF YOU to know.

Video Games

Jumin Han (Mysmes). 8/10. He was the first good ending I got between him and 707. Had me stressing. Does Jumin Han Is Gay? (Maybe). Had 12 year old izzy questioning things.

707. ^-^. 9/10. Mfers route had me STRESSING. it took me 6 WEEKS to get the good ending and when I finally got it, my mom was like woah good for you hon. So -1 point for that, but also +1 to the traumatized smart boy type I have. Tried Honey Butter chips bc of him. Went hard asf. Got harrassed by an adult bc of a fanfic I liked on here. That was fun.

Julian Devorak. 10/10. He was the only route I've finished on The Arcana and I love him with all my heart. Lowkey wish there was less smut about him. I wanna give this tall ginger man a bone crushing hug.

Link (LOZ). 6/10. I was four.

Sebastian (Sdv) 10/10. I play his route every single time. Literally at 6 hearts with him rn at winter year 1. Hes also the sad coder core. I think I have a type. Idk.

Barbatos (Obey Me). 10/10. Same as Sebastian Michaelis. Something about OP butlers.

Lucifer (Obey Me) 10/10. I always wanted to hug him and then run away like a chaos child. More of a platonic thing for both him and Barbatos. Inner child screamed. I would literally play obey me for hours. It was always open on my little Moto E6. Deleted Mystic Messenger for it. And vice versa. Fun stuff.

Anywaysss haii thats all for now!! Part 2 will probably be soon. Maybe. It'll be all the women I had crushes on as a child. I was very gay. I go both ways. Fr fr.

[sunflowersonatas]

introduction <333

hi to anyone who sees this!! this account is new but I am not, unfortunately, I'm sure you can still find my blog from 2013 on here somewhere, but this time I'd like to try my hand at writing!! I'm in so many fandoms it's hard to keep track lol but I love harry potter, criminal minds, mcu (I've only seen like a few of the movies but there's so many sexy men)

the reason why i'm coming back to tumblr is to write!! I'm a 21 year old college student in the northeast and in the spring I'm taking a creative writing elective, so I'll probably post anything produced from that onto this blog :) so that's basically it, I'm now gonna list a bunch of my favorite things and send me a message if we have anything in common!!

tv shows: grey's anatomy, criminal minds duh, new girl, it's always sunny in philadelphia, bb/bcs, a bunch of others i can’t think of rn!!

movies: dirty dancing, the notebook, mean girls, legally blonde, PITCH PERFECT, andrew garfield’s peter parker will always be my #1, I liked the recent fnaf movie, obv harry potter but the fourth movie is my fav, my favorite Disney movie of all time is enchanted <3

books: fav hp book is chamber of secrets, anything john green, the great gatsby, the selection series (pls tell me someone remembers this)

songs: always changing but right now? i just remade my tumblr so I'm in a nostalgic and vaguely emo mood and I have northern downpour by patd stuck in my head </3

games: i am a religious sims 4 player and that will never EVER change. i also have an xbox where I play gta and cod sometimes when I'm feeling violent

oh also important: this blog is 18+, there will probably be sexual content and i just don’t feel comfy with minors following me, thanks!! i can't think of anything else to say, anyone who sees this I hope you have a good thanksgiving! <33 much love,

sunny ☀️🌻

[daz4i]

actually i AM gonna post abt this again. sorry

like when i say they make me feel like i'm in a story. i mean it

we started talking and immediately clicked. talked nonstop for days really

we both had relationships like that years before, but then paused that behavior bc we were young and it wasn't the healthiest, but now we were adults and knew better. it was the first one after that break for both of us

i avoided this behavior for awhile bc i knew it's not the healthiest but it felt so good when it happened. i (rightfully) feared the crash but at the time, the high was so worth it. and everything was going so smoothly too. things kept aligning just right all the time

every time i thought something is gonna come up or that i did something wrong and now it's all gonna blow up, they proved that i had no reason to worry, bc they let it slide immediately, even liked it

we kind of completed each other in every way. liked the same things and had a lot in common, but were opposites in enough things that we weren't TOO similar

i stopped worrying abt annoying them relatively early into the whole thing (usually it takes me months or even years, or i never stop at all. here it was maybe 2-3 weeks)

we became actually close right on their birthday. a small thing but you gotta admit if this was a story it'd be poetic as hell

every time they had a problem and i jokingly said i'm sending a spell their way to fix it, it passed after like 2 minutes. absolutely insane coincidence stuff

i mentioned this before. and this is gonna be embarrassing but. we met through, well, kin stuff lol. they kin chuuya, i kin dazai, we joked abt kindating etc. anyway my mental health was shit but they genuinely uplifted me a lot. they made me want to live for the first time in who knows how long, maybe ever. i think you can tell why i prefaced this story with that fact 🥲 embarrassing but real

and now this shit? 😭 another small thing but like. i make a post abt them bc now is generally around the time we started talking, and someone i follow queued a post from their blog and it posts right now?? they've been decativated for nearly a year HOW did this line up like that 😭

they unfortunately made me believe in the concept of soulmates :/ but as my friends (and mom. bc she saw me cry over the whole thing for days) said. if they cut me off and hurt me like that, they weren't ~the one~

and another thing that made me feel more like i'm in a teen movie is. i legit spent a day and a half in bed crying and barely doing anything else, after they cut me off. truly cliche stuff. actually that's a good way to put it - they made me feel like a cliche. still do when i think abt it a year later. it was a good thing at first, bad when it ended. i could make a movie abt this barely changing any detail and it'll be an average teen romantic comedy (except i'll have to add some happy ending there)

anyway let me finish all that by saying. who the fuck blocks someone on spotify 😭 dude...

(it's been a year and i got burned so badly from this whole thing that i seriously doubt i'll be able to love someone this much again. i need it to be an instant obsession to actually feel good about love, but i'll never be able to confidently go into any new relationship with that purpose because i'm just too scared things will hurt this much again. it's honestly so depressing lol 🥲 but what can ya do)

(i also became the most suicidal i've ever been since lol. probably bc of how big the drop was. it still hasn't gone away. part of why i see no point in life is bc of that previous paragraph. so.)

[xamaxenta]

Get to know you tag game

Thanks @hergan416 for the tag i needed a distraction frm anxiety supreme

Three Ships: I’m gonna cheat and say MAS, MarcoAce and SaboAce— but that doesn’t count bc its the same characters just. Add or take hdbdn I’ll try find some variety and not make them all one piece: MAS, Reguri (pokemon), dimiclaude (fe3h)

First Ship: naruto and sasuke yeah BAYBEE its all about the nindo way dattebayo (i was 12)

Last Song: Just One Yesterday (Fall Out Boy) its my favourite song ever, I listen to it almost daily and never get tired of it, wish I could see how many times ive played it because its been 10 years since save rock and roll came out as an album so i assume its ALOT of repeats, something about the melody something about the lyrics jts fucking genius i love it esp the part:

Anything you say can and will be held against you

So only say my name

It will be held against you

Makes me go balls to the walls everytime lol

Last Movie: Mario movie it was nice, wish I watched in America tho, i think alot of the references and jokes were lost on the audience here :(

Currently Reading: fanfiction i just wanna get serotonin lol i cant commit to books that i might hate (unfortunately a common problem for me, maybe i just dont like reading anymore who knows) i just hang out on the Ace AO3 tag and hope someone posts smth 😭

Currently Watching: totk stuff im poor gotta wait for payday to buy at the end of this month

Currently Consuming: like food? Nothing i dont eat until evenings

Currently Craving: something that can shut my brain up for one second, its loud and i hate it like intrusive bad thoughts i want to hit alt f4 on that shit, more Ace content (surprise whoa) and like a ten year coma where i can just wake up and go wow im gender and its gonna be daijobu

Tag List: @longingforthecosmos @liferockingitout @authenticaussie @bakyura @childofmothermoon @oz-gauze @arielxlazarus @kawaiikoalagarden @kingsofneon @itsthefandommash @/anyone everyone i forgot sry in advance ofc no pressure this is only if you wanna do this :3

[gemsofthegalaxy]

tbh i agree with Sarah Z

. acting like no celebrity Could be queerbaiting when their public image is a carefully crafted by a marketing team is like.... silly. it is fully possible that someone who is straight and cis and does not personally feel a connection to an ambiguous or otherwise queer aesthetic might still dress like that or make queer-seeming media etc, in order to get the queer audience dollars

but, ultimately, it's not worth it to try to snoop and speculate and drag people through the mud for not "coming out" or forcing them out of the closet, because that is a very shitty thing to do, and people don't deserve for it to happen to them.

thinking specifically of Becky Albertalli and queer creators, i do think it's challenging when it comes to trying to critique a depiction of queerness by taking the author's own sexuality and intent into account. because, well, looking into authorial intent and the circumstances around someone's writing is not an unfair thing to do. to compare it to something that may be similar, like. if a white person from California is writing about/from the perspective of a black person from the south, personally i think it might be worthwhile or at least relevant to know that the author is white and from California when evaluating how you feel, or how well you think the author did with their subject matter. it is NOT to say the white person from California shouldn't have touched the topic with a ten foot pole, they very well may have done an excellent job with their story, but those details are still relevant when it comes to understanding the text in some ways. maybe.

i don't disagree that it gets heated and nasty, though, because it did when it came to Albertalli's work, she was lambasted as a straight writer catering to a straight audience with a gay love story. but she isn't straight. and, well, she's still not a gay man, but... believe it or not, even queer people can write queer media that some queer people hate (lol)

tangent: i fucking haaateed the movie The Kids Are All Right and low and behold, one of the directors was a whole lesbian. i was surprised! it seemed like such a fucking shitty and annoying depiction of a lesbian couple (including scenes where a lesbian who proclaims she's exclusively a lesbian sleeps with a man several times. no mention of the notion she might be bisexual. the lesbians also watch gay male porn which i guess was supposed to be transgressive and showing that sexuality was complex, but to me it was so eye-roll worthy like what's wrong with showing women who are... into women? sorry im getting off track. maybe there are lesbians who love this movie. im bisexual so /shrug)

anyway. unfortunately, being queer does not mean you will tell an amazing queer story. and knowing an author is queer does not mean you have to like the way queerness was used in the story even if you think it was bad. but, still, i am usually more likely to at least be lighter with criticism if i know the author depicting the story is of the same community or has lived experience, even if i still dislike the overall depiction. maybe that unfairly absolves them of a shitty story, idk. btw this isnt to say Simon vs the Homo Sapiens was bad, it was, like, fine tbh. some of the plot points annoyed me, but that's common in YA novels by now. one of my advisors who is a gay man really loved it so that also made me like it more bc it was cute seeing how much he enjoyed it (ironically, lol)

not sure where i was going with this anymore. but it's an interesting, challenging topic to address "real people queerbaiting". ultimately i think it CAN be done, by celebrities who are crafting an image to market to fans, but that it's not worth the harm of pushing people out of the closet to try to "stop" the "problem" from occuring.