#because he has a hard time accepting love due to his trauma

[spectrum-color]

The fun thing about spending way too much time thinking about RotE over the past several months is that I can think of so many what ifs that would have changed the series. For better, for worse, or just for different varies, but there were a lot of things that could have gone in another direction in the Fitz books alone. Some I would find interesting:

Chivalry chooses to stay on as heir and let the scandal blow over (this would go very differently based on if he did or did not acknowledge Fitz)

Burrich was not beaten as a child for having the Wit, so he has a more balanced view of the Old Blood and tries to help Fitz handle it

The Piebald Prince was never overthrown in a coup so the “beast magic” taboo doesn’t exist

Verity takes Regals assassination of Kettrickens brother and attempt on his own life much more seriously (tbh it is insane that this was swept under the rug in canon)

Fitz never knocks up Molly (this has implications for him, Molly, and Burrich)

The Skill coteries attacks on Shrewd are discovered before they kill him

Desire dies before she can get Chivalry killed, and he outlived Regal. (Would he want to meet Fitz? More up in the air, would Fitz want to meet him after 15 years of knowing he existed but keeping his distance?)

Fitz remembers Chades lessons and does not take Rosemarys presence for granted, only speaking to Kettricken about their plans when he can verify that they’re alone or with the Fool or only communicating it in Kettrickens native language

Fitz makes the connection sooner about exactly what kind of interest the Fool has in him (crying and saying “when I remember how beautiful you were” and KISSING HIM ON THE MOUTH just goes right over his head)

Fitz doesn’t give his memories of Molly, his birth mother, and the dungeons to Girl on a Dragon, allowing him to process them in a more healthy way and not spending 17 years partially Forged

When Fitz and Nighteyes are traveling the world, they end up in Bingtown at the same time as Amber and join up with Team Paragon

The Six Duchies has a more neutral attitude toward homosexuality (before anyone thinks that’s just boring wish fulfillment, I think Fitzs deep rooted attachment issues are at the real root of his difficulty accepting the Fools love and are a much more interesting character trait than his internalized homophobia)

During the infamous confrontation over the Fools feelings, the two of them are not sick. Alternatively, they have been drinking

When the Fool tells Fitz to leave it and they can just keep going like they always have, Fitz agrees (tbh I think if he didn’t have a Skill hangover he would have given how he prefers to pretend sensitive topics don’t exist)

The Fool chooses not to tell Fitz about his impending death because he fears it will break the fragile peace between them

Fitz undoes Burrichs Skill block and is able to save him (still mad about this; HUGE implications and potential for drama with Fitz, Burrich, the Fool, Molly, and Nettle)

The Fool refuses Prilkops offer to return to Clerres due to his trauma and goes back to Buckkeep instead

The Fool refuses Prilkops offer to return to Clerres and asks Fitz to go to the Rain Wilds with him to continue to track the progress of the dragons

The Fool lets Fitz go with him and Prilkop to Clerres and Fitz becomes the Destroyer as well as the Unexpected Son

Fitz gets the Fools message on Winterfest and goes on a rescue mission, bringing him back in time for Bee to come into the picture

The Fool makes his way to Withywoods before the incident at the market

Lant actually is killed during the attack on Withywoods (how does Chade respond to this?)

Bee kills Vindeliar at the same time as Dwalia, meaning that Fitz is never injected with the Traitors Death

The Fool figures out how to use his Silvered fingers to free Fitz from the pillar. Though this is really only noticeably different if his worm infestation is discovered and destroyed early on by a Skill healing (I am especially curious how Bee would react to the Fools attempts to teach her if Fitz was still alive)

[infinite-beginnings]

The line when Charles said, "Edwin's told me loads of stories about Hell," and him seeming to know he'd find a map in Edwin's book always hits me hard.

Now I acknowledge Charles might’ve been posturing to reassure the Night Nurse he could navigate Hell, but let's assume this fact was real.

Because that means that Edwin felt comfortable enough to talk about all of his trauma to Charles. He mentions Hell a lot in passing in front of the girls, but he never goes into specifics. However, it seems as if he actively told Charles quite a few details about Hell. I also noticed that Charles is very calm when he's going to find Edwin. Yes, he's studying the book a lot, but he is also navigating the space with a certain amount of confidence. I'm sure it's partially due to Charles' tendency to do things without thinking and project confidence. But also, it seems as if he might have at least a very basic level of knowledge or familiarity with the levels of Hell based on the stories Edwin told.

I think this is probably another reason why Edwin struggled to believe the fact that Charles had faced abuse in his past and never shared it with Edwin. Because Edwin was always up front and honest with Charles. He told him the very first time they'd met that he had just escaped Hell. I'm sure Edwin did not want to relive his memories of Hell, and maybe it took him decades to feel like he could share. But I bet when he started talking about it with Charles, he felt relief. Because sharing your trauma with someone who accepts you and loves you no matter what is always a relief after holding it in and pushing it down.

So I just imagine Edwin feeling that relief after sharing his stories from Hell and feeling closer and more bonded with Charles because of it...and then he finds out that Charles has this huge amount of trauma from his past that he has been keeping inside. It probably breaks Edwin's heart that he hadn't been able to offer Charles the same relief he'd felt.

And yes, Crystal mentioned that Charles was probably denying the trauma even to himself. We all know that Edwin knew something was off with Charles and that he was probably frustrated in himself because he hadn't been able to figure it out, but Crystal apparently had.

But I also think there might be another level to it. The boys have been solving cases for 30 years. I find it hard to believe that they never had another case involving abuse or at least someone with a controlling personality that would've reminded Charles of his father. Maybe Edwin thinks back to a couple of those cases and how Charles was acting strange and withdrawn during them and realized he'd missed a huge clue about how his friend was feeling.

All those years of sharing his stories from Hell and being comforted by Charles and Edwin hadn't been able to do the same. Edwin is definitely hurt that Charles didn't feel like he could confide in him and heartbroken to think about how much pain his friend was going through alone.

[youremyheaven]

Outcaste Nakshatras: The Outsiders (part 3)

Here's part 1 and part 2

The more I study Mleccha nakshatra natives and the art they make, the more I understand how deeply lonely it is to have a Mleccha nak (Bharani, Ashlesha, Vishaka, Shravana) and I really feel for them. To live your whole life feeling misunderstood and othered is so difficult.

The movie Edward Scissorhands is a really good example of the "outcast" trope. The titular character is played by Johnny Depp who has Ashlesha Rising and his love interest is played by Winona Ryder who has Mercury (amatyakaraka) & Venus (atmakaraka) in Vishaka

I find Outcaste nak pairing very interesting because obviously you only feel like you belong/truly feel accepted in the presence of another Outcast.

Sidharth Malhotra, Vishaka Moon is married to Kiara Advani, who has Mercury & Venus (atmakaraka) in Ashlesha (if you have 2 or more planets in the same nak that energy is very concentrated even if its not your big 3)

they're both known for being pretty low-key people which is unusual in Bollywood lmao

Sid is an "outsider" which is what we call non-nepo actors in India. imagine the extent of nepotism in cinema in India that its the exception to be an "outsider"lmao. anyway Sid is pretty reserved and introverted and is known for not fitting in with the Bollywood crowd. Kiara is also kinda like that I guess but idk too much about her personality. They both seem happy together tho

Kareena Kapoor, Shravana Moon is married to Saif Ali Khan, Ashlesha Sun & Shravana Moon

Kareena's parents are famous actors who are separated (her dad was misogynistic and abusive and didn't want women to act) and even tho she's a nepo baby she didn't grow up with the same privileges as others in her famous family. Her elder sister had to drop out of school to support the family by acting as they were raised by a single mom and had fallen on bad times. You can see how the "outcast" themes were present in Kareena's life even though she's a very privileged nepo baby

Saif is also a nepo baby (welcome to bollywood lol) but he married a much older actress when he was 21 and had two kids. they later got divorced and Saif received a ton of bad press for alleged adultery, not getting custody or visitation rights of the kids, not paying child support (the amount was absurdly high tbh) etc he didn't fit in with the other actors of his generation. The media & public went crazy when news of Saif & Kareena getting married came out bc Saif is a divorcee with 2 kids (this stuff is still taboo in India unfortunately) and Kareena is one of the most successful stars of her generation. But they've been married for 10+ yrs and have 2 kids and are as happy as ever.

Even Kareena's longterm ex-boyfriend, Shahid Kapoor was a Mleccha caste nak guy (he has Vishaka Moon)

Expanding on the outcast tropes, Shahid's parents separated when he was young and he saw little of his biological father. He had to work very hard for very long to break into the industry and even now, he's not really given his due as an actor.

Alia Bhatt, Shravana Rising is married to Ranbir Kapoor, Shravana Moon

their marriage seems hella toxic to me ngl BUT they've both had similar childhoods.

Alia & Ranbir are both nepo babies (welcome to bollywood), Alia is like a tier 3 nepo (her father is a notoriously controversial filmmaker) whilst Ranbir is like a tier 1 nepo (he is a 4th generation actor from the biggest film family in India) however both their parents had unhappy marriages, and both of them had abusive fathers. trauma bonding, mayhaps? they're both also extremely close to their mothers as well (Moon dominant people often tend to be)

Its another example of Outcaste naks bonding over their shared experiences/feelings of being the outcast.

all members of Blackpink have an Outcaste nakshatra in their chart that is prominent in some way.

Jisoo- Shravana Moon, Venus in Vishaka (darakaraka), Ketu in Bharani

Rose- Venus conjunct Jupiter (debilitated) in Shravana

Jennie- Vishaka Moon, Mars in Shravana

Lisa- Jupiter in Shravana (debilitated), Swati Moon (Swati is a Shudra nak, which is the lowest caste so the themes are similar to that of outcaste naks)

This is interesting to me because BP is the biggest girl group of all time yet they are also probably disproportionately hated for things they cant even control. they were mismanaged by a shitty ass company with very few comebacks and barely got to display their true calibre as artists and their media interactions, promos, other activities etc were severely controlled and restricted. all of this is to say that despite being the most successful group their actual experiences are far from sunshine and roses. they were treated like outcasts by their company and the industry and fans. they trained for 4-6 years, enduring a brutal and toxic system, worked very hard with what they were given, with 0 creative liberty to come this far im glad theyre pursuing solo careers now and hope to see them thrive<333

the movie Lost in Translation is a good example of two outcasts/lonely people who find comfort in each other

Bill Murray is Shravana Moon and Scarlett Johansson is Vishaka Moon

Sridevi, Ashlesha Sun & Rising and Boney Kapoor, Vishaka Sun & Mercury

So they had a really fcked up marriage that I won't get into but they were both people who felt like outcasts in their lives. Sridevi grew up with a stepfather and was pushed into acting by her mother when she was 3-4 years old (she's like an Indian Judy Garland tbh) who deprived her of formal education and a normal life so that she'd be the family cash cow. Being South Indian, she also found it hard to fit in among Bollywood folks as she initially spoke neither Hindi nor English. Boney's the ugly duckling of his family and his younger brother is one of the most famous/iconic actors ever, he had to become a movie producer since his brothers became actors and his father (who was a movie producer) thought it would be better if he stayed behind the scenes. themes of exclusion and outcast-ness crop up in their lives and in the lives of all the people I mention here.

Lady Bird is a good example of a movie about a female teenage outcast. The titular character is played by Saoirse Ronan, who has Bharani Moon

Recently I came across the content creator, Alana Lintao who often makes shorts about social behaviour. This one in particular stood out to me because its literally about one person being excluded by a group of friends or being treated like "the other".

Alana plays the excluded friend in this short as well. She has Bharani Sun, Swati Moon and Mercury in Revati amatyakaraka (Swati & Revati are both Shudra naks)

Outcaste naks are vilified and crucified for mistakes others get away with.

Janet Jackson, Vishaka Rising & Ketu

Janet's career took a hit and her life took a tumultuous turn after the Superbowl incident. She did not deserve all the vitriol she received then especially considering how so many others get away with wayyy worse

Jennie, Vishaka Moon gets hated on for absolutely nothing

Lana Del Rey, Ashlesha Moon, Vishaka Rising (&stellium)

Lana does say dumb things from time to time but she gets soooo much unnecessary hate

I have noticed how Outcaste nakshatras often tend to have really difficult childhood experiences

Jeanette McCurdy- Ardra sun, Bharani Moon & Pushya Rising

Jeanette opens up about her abusive mother and terrible childhood in her memoir. I mention her other placements as well because I've noticed that both Ardra & Pushya natives also experience abuse in their early lives

Britney Spears, Shravana Moon

she has endured so much abuse from so many people including her family. i wish her peace.

Wheein, Vishaka Moon grew up with a single mother and later after she made her debut her estranged father tried to borrow money from people under her name?? there was a minor scandal about it many years ago. She also grew up quite lower middle class if not poor.

David Bowie, Shravana Rising

Bowie once said, "“It wasn’t a particularly happy childhood, my parents were cold emotionally. There weren’t many hugs. I always craved affection because of that.”

Cole & Dylan Sprouse, Ashlesha Sun

Speaking on the Call Her Daddy podcast, he explained that their mother's issues with mental health and addiction contributed to her being "financially the most irresponsible woman ever." He said that when their dad was given forced custody when the boys were 10, their mom had already spent everything they'd earned from their early acting jobs. Though their dad wanted them to be "normal kids," he ultimately decided that the boys' acting careers were a financial necessity.

Ariel Winter, Shravana Sun

Ariel Winter has spoken out about how acting wasn't her choice, but it was her mother's. Ariel shared that her mother, Crystal Workman, had dreams of being an actor herself. Ariel said that with Crystal as her stage mom, she dealt with a lot of abuse and exploitation.

Once Ariel's acting career began, she said her mom put her on a strict diet and neglected her education. Her mother also had her dress in outfits that sexualized her. Ariel claimed her mom put her in “the smallest miniskirts, sailor suits, low-cut things, the shortest dresses you’ve ever seen. People thought I was 24 when I was 12. If there was going to be a nude scene when I was that age, my mother would have a thousand percent said yes.”

Now Bollywood is an industry run by film dynasties, its very rare for someone from the outside to break in and make it big. Being an "Outsider" is very difficult, people bully you, try to sabotage your career, try to isolate you etc etc, needless to say its not for the faint of heart. So lets take a look at some of the most successful "Outsiders" in Bollywood who made it big without any family in the business

ofc we have to start with the most successful outsider of all time, Shahrukh Khan, Shravana Moon

he truly came from nothing (father died when he was a teenager, mother died before he made his debut, has a sister with special needs who he has taken care of his entire life) and became the biggest star in the world.

Akshay Kumar, Vishaka Moon, he was a martial artist, chef, waiter and worked numerous odd jobs before he started modelling in his late 20s and later started acting and today he has a net worth of $340 million

Anushka Sharma, Bharani Sun

her life is truly a case of being lucky af, she was a model and by the age of 19-20 she was cast in a film opposite Shahrukh Khan aka the biggest actor in the country produced by YRF, one of the biggest film production companies in India. its truly a fairy tale because neither can Anushka act nor is she gifted in any other way (bad dancer, heck she was even an awful model) but she's incredibly successful in every way and is now married to the (former) Captain of the Indian cricket team

Deepika Padukone, Shravana Rising

she is from a privileged background (her dad's a renowned badminton player) but she worked very very hard to get where she is today and has had more career longevity than just about any other actress.

Bipasha Basu & John Abraham, Bharani Moon

they were both a hot couple who were really popular in the 2000s

there are many other successful Outsiders but they don't have outcaste naks lol, these are the only ones i can think of rn :/

i hope this post was informative<33

[nqueso-emergency]

gotta confess - eddie’s lack of self awareness for certain things and the way he rarely accepts responsibility for his actions are what put me off of his character pretty quick.

even when he’s aware of how wrong he acted with shannon, he does it when his actions have driven her away (not entirely justifying this either. i dislike shannon and i don’t think fully cutting contact with chris was the solution), and this is largely the only time we see him seeking forgiveness or change. post separation and then after her death.

but we never see him feel sorry for a lot of things. and i am sorry to bring it up again, as this has been a hot topic of discussion in the fandom lately, but he never apologizes for how he’s treated buck at times. he screams at him in a grocery store and then acts almighty when he’s forgiving buck for the lawsuit, as if he’s doing him a favor. it’s frustrating, because he left buck on his own, only checked on him when he wanted free babysitting, and neglected to acknowledge that if chris was struggling after the tsunami, buck was struggling as well.

and i get he was going through it. but so was buck. i understand losing your wife is incredibly hard. but buck went through multiple incredible traumatic experiences and he lacked a lot of support, in the way eddie didn’t. so. why is so easy to offer understanding to eddie, but so hard to do the same for buck? we see them both affected by trauma and acting due to it in early season 3 (and only one caused bodily harm, might i add), but only one is treated as fully being wrong, when he isn’t. buck could’ve acted better, but he had grounds for a lawsuit. he wasn’t entirely wrong.

yet. as much as eddie tells buck to suck his trauma up (which, wtf), he lashes out at him. is downright mean at him. if a friend called me exhausting like that it would shatter me. and he never apologizes, and instead doubles down on buck being the one in the need of seeking forgiveness in that kitchen scene.

so. i’m sorry, but i can’t help but love buck finally wanting his space and to prioritize his boyfriend. it’s about time.

(and also, i don’t think eddie will be resentful of this. hopefully)

Anon I am kissing you gently on the forehead. I agree with all of this.

[faggot-greg-house]

house is autistic i will accept no criticism

i have so many thoughts about house and autism. this might be the most unhinged post on my tumblr yet but here we go so house had the illusion of normalcy forced on him from a young age. i dont think thats like, full canon, but house talks about how his father abused him on more than one occassion and talked about how he was never satisfied or happy with house no matter what. so i truly dont think its a far reach to say that he would not have tolerated a "weird child." the thing that i think, though, is that all of his actions are a response to the fact that he's not particularly great at masking. he's afraid if he lets people close to him he won't be able to hide the fact that he's "weird" (aka bad). he intentionally pushes people away with his weird creepy comments and being an asshole and that's both him masking (if he's aggressively mean all the time no one will bother to look further) and a way of coping with the fact that he cant mask. the more he pushes people away the less likely it is that they'll see that he cares about things and that he's not "normal" like he's always been told. i also think that as the show went on, he got less and less concerned about masking. he constantly stims, he hyperfocuses and burns out, he panics about change, he treats his fellows a lot more like family. once he got to a point in his life where his "weirdness" is not something he can be ruined for (he's tenured and he has people who will fight for him) he found himself a lot more able to be aggressively autistic, even if he struggles with it due to trauma.

a huge Autism Moment in the show for me is when foreman quits and house fires chase. house has been afraid his whole life of showing who he actually is, as mentioned. his fellows, though, are his People, they knew all of his shit and they never ran awayy from it. they didnt question who he was and what he knew, only his methods, and they were willing to fight back against him (something he's shown he loves). but then foreman quits because he "doesnt want to be like house" and this is house's worst nightmare. this is exactly why he had normalcy beaten into him, because being weird only makes it that people will run away once they know you. he dared to let people see a bit of who he actually is and how he thinks and acts and foreman essentially said "i cant stand to be like you." on top of that fear, his team became Different. he doesnt know if chase or cameron thought the same things as foreman, if they were also judging him or hating him for being autistic. it sent him into fucking panic mode because how is he supposed to trust them when he doesnt know if they agree with foreman!!!!! and even if he could, the team is Different and its for a reason he cant control and he cant just go back to normal. his method of interviewing his new fellows also shows this - how is he supposed to be able to tell if someone will be okay with who he is and if they'll work well together based off a short intervew where he's almost certainly masking the whole time???? anyway. to end this absolutely unhinged post ive put together an inconclusive list of autistic traits and actions from house, and i want to say that so much of this is him being written off as an antisocial eccentric genius and, while he is an ass that cant be debated, it clearly runs deeper than that!!!!

he doesnt understand how ppl feel (he repeatedly talks about how small talk is like a guessing game for him and he doesnt know what to say)

he doesnt like to be touched (for a lot of the show people just do Not touch him, wilson excluded)

he stims constantly and he needs Sensations

he's blunt, rude, somewhat monotone, etc

he has a hard time making friends

he has a hard time saying what he feels (he'd rather joke or be mean than analyse his emotions)

he has a routine that he Sticks To (even thgh its not exactly the same because of patients etc, he goes to work late, he talks to the same people, he sits in his same office. he's shown coming to work sick at one point and he doesnt rly go on vacation. plus when cuddy took his bloodstained carpet it was such a fundamental change to his life that he couldnt deal)

he notices Everything (yes ik this is a sherlock holmes thing but consider sherlock holmes - also autistic)

he has a method and train of thought that works for him and he is unwilling to break from it (he's shown at least once stopping the fellows from writing on his whiteboard, and after he loses the og three he continues trying to hold ddx's because its how he Thinks)

[iheartuwu]

₊˚ ♡ random relationship hc’s ◞ leon s. kennedy

fem!reader, fluff, angst, established relationship, implied age gap for like one or two hc’s, wrote these in an id leon brainrot fueled spur lmfao so mostly for an older leon ig !? would love to expand on some of these in a fic, wc 0.6k ╮

gift giving is definitely one of his strongest love languages, however he’s not one for grand gestures or overtly romantic gifts. his gifts are practical, thoughtful, consistent reminders that he’s always thinking of you because he’s never been good with words. he prefers to not be present when you receive them and he’s SO deliberately discreet about it too. subtly replacing your skincare or fav products that are running out with brand new ones, delving into his mental notes of what you’re running low on when he’s at a shop. scheduling food or flower deliveries for when he’s away on a mission or work related tasks. any praise would probably make his skin crawl because he just can’t handle it

terms of endearment feel unnatural to him and rarely fall past his lips unless you seem to react positively to them. i don’t see him as someone who’s that experienced in committed long term relationships ( or relationships in general ) due to the nature of his work and lifestyle. he defaults to ‘babe’ until he learns which terms you prefer / dislike

leon would never accept your offers or attempts to pay for a thing ( i swear by this ). this doesn’t come from a place of arrogance or urge to fulfill some ‘traditionally’ masculine role. his disposable income is plentiful, and he’s happy to pay when the opportunity arises, he honestly doesn’t even think about it and merely hands over his credit card. receiving gifts can often be hard for him but he’ll never purposely display his discomfort or refuse

extremely dry texter and doesn’t really use his phone despite being tech savvy, all of his texts end with periods. rarely ever uses emojis ( his personal favs are 👍👎 and the occasional ❤️ ). typically one word responses. doesn’t understand half of the abbreviations you use. send him a keyboard smash and he’ll think you’re having a stroke. prefers to call you instead

always the driver ( he insists on it ). always has the seat warmer on for you. if you do drive he becomes a backseat driver which can be mildly frustrating. comments on your song choices when you play music in his car but would never tell you to stop no matter how grating it is on his ears and simply endures. sometimes opts for his motorcycle over his car solely because he gets to be held onto by you. would literally never let you even fathom the idea of driving his motorcycle

frequent date nights at borderline obnoxiously ritzy restaurants to compensate for his time spent away from you due to his job. also bc this man cannot cook. does not let you know in advance. he simply says “we have a reservation tonight” like an hour before which often results in you scrambling to get ready

he struggles with sharing his ( darker ) emotions, accompanied by a habit of opting to brush your concerns off. vulnerability is a foreign language to him. he’s scarily good at pretending he is fine, but you manage to see glimpses of his deteriorating wellbeing in his body language. the heavy sighs upon waking up, his slight recoil from your touch, his posture stiffening after you ask him what’s on his mind. this doesn’t come from a place of distrust in any way, he truly just doesn’t want to ‘burden’ you and convinces himself that his struggles aren’t important in the grand scheme of things. he also knows the source of his stress and trauma is for the most part confidential and he tells himself he’s doing it for your own safety and protection. when he does open up by his own volition, he keeps it brief, spares most of the details, his composure rarely falters and he’s itching to move on from the subject. you’ve never seen him cry :(

[ddollfface]

God, I love golden retriever men so much.

*Intensely staring at my fav athlete*

Now, that I have a brainrot~

1. Our lovely Athlete with a nerd darling.

- This would be funny. It is giving black cat × golden retriever. So hard.

- Darling has anemia? She's used to sitting around and reading? Can't walk too long to save her life? He's fucking carrying her everywhere.

- Can you imagine darling bringing a book about his sport (I don't know if you've mentioned what he plays) to the game and reading as they watch him play cuz they don't know crap about sports? He'd be so, "But you're supposed to be watching me." :Insert puppy eyes:

- He's isolating darling? Eh, Darling needs a 4 hour nap after every social gathering anyway.

Ok but-

2. Him with a nerd darling who's a childhood best friend, where darling has a childhood filled with emotional and physical abuse. (I'm finna design a whole ass character to ship him with. If you don't mind, of course.)

- This.

- Don't let me get started on this.

- They would be so power couple coded fr. (Darling knows Athlete is trying to manipulate her. Doesn't care as long as she's getting taken care of.)

- Darling is snarky with a S.

- Darling: "The cheerleader was flirting with you."

Athlete: "I know. :3"

Darling: "Go marry her."

Athlete: "But you're the love of my life. :("

Darling: "Oh, really? I could've sworn it was Cindy instead. Go to her, shoo."

Athlete: "No."

Darling: "Who's bestie are you?"

Athlete: "Yours."

Darling: "Exactly."

- Don't let this fool you, tho. He's def the dominant one in the relationship.

Athlete: "You're my baby :D."

Darling: "Mhmm. Don't say that infront of anyone else."

Athlete: "Why not?"

Darling: "I'll bite your head off, that's why."

(spoiler, he says it in front of everyone and darling does nothing but get shy.)

Darling: "Why would you say that?"

Athlete: "Becuz you're my baby?"

Darling: *cuddles closer to him.* *Whispering* "I'm his baby."

- 💗 anon (if I may) (also, he's my baby now, thank you. I'm keeping him in my head and heart.) (It's so late at night. I just keep thinking about this 😭 and I can't put my thoughts into proper words rn, bear with me on this)

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐈

𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗦𝗶𝗰𝗸!𝗔𝘁𝗵𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲 𝘅 𝗮𝗳𝗮𝗯!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

Trigger Warnings; yandere behaviors, possessive behavior, talk about trauma bonding (both reader and yandere or mentally ill), yandere masking, bad writing, and me rambling (I'm so sorry 💗Nonny lol) If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡ I offically declare you 💗Nonny!! And I don't mind you coming up with your own interpertations of reader and LoveSick!Athlete! Just share 'em! Also, I may or may not have gone on a tiny, just tiny, tangent, so sorry 💗Nonny... Feel free to submit more asks if 'ya want

LoveSick!Athlete can really mold and mend well with most personalities and darlings, this is due to his manipulative personality. A little off-topic, but he really has a hard time understanding who he is because he's always pretending to be what others deem "acceptable". This causes him to have a multitude of identity crises, but when his darling, you, comes into the picture, it makes it easier for him to find himself. He feels like he's the real him whenever he's with you. You just feel so natural, he feels natural, too. It's just right.

And for that reason, I think LoveSick!Athlete would go really well with a childhood!reader, seeing as she's been with him since they were young. And, I'm not too sure if you've read my Yan!Alphabet for him, but I mention LoveSick!Athlete's childhood; let's just say it wasn't the best situation for a kid.

LoveSick!Athlete would feel a special bond with his darling now, seeing as they've been together threw thick and thin. He's trama bounded to you, and you to him. We'll run off the assumption that reader has also had a bad childhood, whether it be an absent parent, abusive sibling/family member/or parent, whatever it is allows you to feel a connection to LoveSick!Athlete, seeing as you have a mutual situation. You both have something to bond over, something that locks you together.

He has a bad home environment, you have a bad home environment. He doesn't feel at home, so you become his home, and he to you.

And I like to run on the assumption that reader is all talk, no bite. And if you've read any of my writing where the reader talks, you'll see that I prefer to write reader as more "real" (to me anyway) because I'm personally not the hugest fan of the "helpless" reader. I like to write a darling who has a mouth, someone who's bratty (but that's 'cause I'm a brat lol).

Anyway, I'm getting off-topic, back to LoveSick!Athlete.

To your idea about a snarky reader, I totally agree. Honestly, LoveSick!Athlete would eat that shit up, no joke. He would love it, as he enjoys the back-and-forth between you two. He loves to press your buttons, wanting to see what sarcastic reply you have ready for him.

The thing is, he knows your just talking shit, never willing to actually do anything. You just run your mouth, and he lets you, but whenever you step outta line, sometimes, he's gotta put you back. Though, you'll never think of it like that. No, no, he's too sweet for that. He's gotta keep that golden retriever vibe going, y'know?

He just swat you on the ass, telling you that you got such a dirty mouth, mamas? I thought you were my little princess, no? Girls with a face like yours shouldn't be speakin' that like-

He'll just move on, as if he didn't just grope your butt, nope, not at all. And you'll be standing there awestruck, face red, and biting your tongue as you try to not overheat in embarrassment!!

It never ceases to entertain him, watching your face widen with surprise whenever he refers to you as his girl, his cute little girlfriend. The way your face heats up when he wraps his strong arm around your waist, putting his cap on your head (a silent sign of possession over you, trying to get the guy in the back to keep his eyes to himself, but you don't need to know that ;)).

In your little monologue, you go over some cheerleader girl (named Cindy??). Though I would agree that chicks (and some dudes) practically flock around LoveSick!Athlete, I would say that he doesn't even pay them any mind, not even entertaining the thought. Don't get me wrong, he'll talk to them, but make it painstakingly clear that he's only got one girl on his mind, you.

Most of the time, the girl will just find it endearing, slapping his shoulder, and telling him that he'd make a great husband or some shit like that. Of course, the chicks joking, making some nice comments to leave the, now awkward, conversation, but LoveSick!Athlete will take it to heart. Now, he's imagining a pretty ring on your finger, something he paid for, he got you. Because he'd be such a good provider for you, don't you know?

Another thought, 'cause I'm on a role, but I'm not sure if I've directly said this or not, but LoveSick!Athlete is a hockey player. I've tried putting strickly hockey photos on all my posts (you should see my Pinterest feed, it's filled with hot guys lolol).

Hockey is an aggressive sport, I would know. I used to ice skate every day for an hour or two. And, trust me, I got to see a lot of hot guys, though I was always too nervous to say anything, that's beside the point.

I can imagine that reader would be the same, intimidated by these testastrone-filled, young men who just wanna get all sweaty and gross. And I prefer to think that reader also doesn't know how to skate, much to LoveSick!Athlete's enjoyment.

Just to torture you, he'll take you to his ice rink, partly wanting to show you off, and also wanting you to rely on him to move around. He won't even let you hold onto the side, nope, all you got is him, babes.

And anyone who's been to a rink before knows that if you're not on the wall, or smack in the middle of the rink, you're in traffic, especially if it's busy. And this means that you gotta go fast, keeping pace with everyone else. And there's always a handful of assholes (usually hockey players) who will purposefully do a hockey stop, flinging a shit tone of ice at newbies.

I imagine that this shit would happen all the time and LoveSick!Athete is enjoying it sm. He gets a rush every time you flinch, clinging onto him tighter, especially when the really fast skaters zoom by you, scaring the crap outta you.

And he won't let you go at your own pace, forcing you to follow his lead. This means you're going far too fast for comfort, leaning on him for support. You're arms wrapped around his bicep, which isn't recommended btw. Your cheek pressed against his arm, holding on for dear life.

You'll snap at him, telling him to shut up and stop enjoying this, you dork. I'm only clinging to 'cause I gotta!

And he'll just take it, giving you a lopsided smirk.

[flowerandblood]

Glass Cuts Deepest (9)

[ professor! • Aemond x student! • female ]

[ warnings: kissing, panic attack, fluff, angst, trauma, mention of rape, indecent student-teacher relationship ]

[ description: A female painting student is finally able to choose the specialisation she has dreamt of - stained glass. She wants to become a student of the best specialist in this field, but he, for some reason, refuses to accept female students into his workshop. She finds out that he once slapped a female student of one of the other professors. Nevertheless, she makes an attempt to find out what happened then and to convince him to teach her. Slow burn, sexual tension, dark, agressive Aemond, great childhood traumas. ]

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Previous and next chapters: Masterlist

_____

She couldn't believe what had happened. She couldn't believe that he touched her, that she came on his hand, that he was planning to leave the university, that she could fall asleep in his embrace. In two days, her life had been turned upside down, and it appeared that the man she thought simply disliked her must have been in love with her for weeks.

What surprised her even more was that his confession had awakened something in her, some realisation that something about him had attracted her to him all along, had made her listen to every sentence he uttered to her colleagues, had made her gasp for air when he entered the room, had made her smile to herself when he watched from afar as she worked.

She thought at the time that the trembling of her hands and the hard pounding of her heart she felt when she spoke to him were due to fear, but she realised that it was always accompanied by an element of thrill, that as a man he was a challenge to her and by some miracle she had managed to get to his very heart, rooting so hard that he refused to let her out of his arms.

If it had been Cregan who had shown her so much interest and desire for intimacy she would surely have quickly cringed and withdrawn, overwhelmed and discouraged, however with him everything they did seemed strangely natural and came easily to her, as if subconsciously this was what she had been waiting for, patiently allowing him to approach her of his own accord.

They both squirmed through the night, aroused and elated, feeling that although no confession had been made between them, something had been decided, that they both knew they wanted each other, that they desired each other.

In the morning she was awakened by the tender touch of his fingers combing through her hair, his nose nestled against the top of her head, her cheek snuggled into his chest, locked in his tight, secure embrace.

She shuddered and sighed heavily, disappointed when she heard her alarm clock ring, hoping they had had a bit more time. She felt him release her from his arms so she could reach for her phone lying on her side of the bed, stroking her back as she muted her alarm, as if he wanted to take advantage of every second he was alone with her, every second he could touch her.

She looked over her shoulder at him and smiled, returning to her previous position, snuggling into his chest again, placing her hands exactly where he let her. He welcomed her back into the embrace of his arms with his murmur of contentment, his lips sinking into her hair on the top of her head in a tender kiss as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

She was shocked at how affectionate he was and how he needed that affection himself.

She thought, swallowing silently, that she wanted nothing more now than to take a shower with him.

She could feel his muscular body under her cheek and fingers – he had a slender, well-built figure and she suspected he went to the gym. She tried not to think about how wonderful he must look naked, wet, under the drops of water, but her imagination was apparently too lush, because she felt the wetness between her thighs again.

She heard him also grunt quietly and say that unfortunately he should go back to his room, take a quick shower and change before breakfast. She could feel how hard he was and knew that he was feeling extreme emotions, simultaneously terrified and aroused at the thought that she could touch him like that.

She decided that she would never try to touch him herself in such an intimate place until he guided her hand there himself or asked her to.

She didn't want to hurt him, seeing how much he trusted her.

Just two days ago, he wouldn't even shake her hand or sit close to her, but now they were lying in a tender, intimate embrace, stroking and kissing each other.

His lips found hers in a final, deep, drawn-out kiss before he stood up, standing with his back to her, not wanting to show what was going on in his sweatpants. She watched him leave and close the balcony door behind him while lying on her bed, feeling surprisingly calm.

It seemed like they were together.

She was in a relationship with her professor.

She sighed heavily, pressing her face against the pillow, recognising that she had no idea how they were going to manage to hide and pretend when they returned to university, when he needed her closeness and affection so much now.

How were they going to feign that they were indifferent to each other, that they kept their distance, that their relationship was downright chilly?

Nothing frightened her more than the thought that he would be in trouble because of her, that she would destroy his career.

She felt heat in her heart recalling what he had said, that he wanted to leave.

She knew they were balancing on the edge and recognised that she needed to be responsible for herself and for him, that she was no longer a small child and should control herself.

That he'd already suffered enough in his life and she needed to protect him, not get too carried away with their joy together and keep herself in check outside of the moments when it was just the two of them.

Just as the day before they'd had breakfast with Cregan – this time she had the impression that her professor was much more relaxed, even joining their discussion himself once in a while.

Apart from the pleasant realisation that there was some kind of beautiful feeling developing between them, which she had completely not expected, it came to her that she would see her project in its full glory today, her heart was hot with excitement.

When they arrived at the church she almost ran inside – she couldn't help herself, the technicians were just packing up the scaffolding and all the window quarters were put in their places. Father Bishop was already waiting for them, satisfaction gushing from his face.

"Please, come closer, Miss Wright, and see how magnificent your work looks." He said with a satisfaction from which she felt a kind of pride, knowing that she was only in her second year and although she had only cut out part of the background herself, this was her project, her vision, her idea.

She felt a tightness in her throat and a warmth ripple through her body seeing how beautiful it looked as a whole, how the faces of the saints, their robes and the backgrounds behind them shimmered in the sunlight, how wonderfully her composition and choice of colours matched the golden, baroque altar that stood before it.

Cregan patted her on the back proudly, saying that the whole thing looked amazing.

"It's a credit to the whole workshop. Everyone worked so hard, I'm so happy." She said softly, her voice trembling with emotion. She shuddered as she heard her professor's voice behind her.

"In Christian iconography and theology, the Virgin Mary is supposed to be the personification of the New Eve, transformed from a woman who was tempted into a woman who contributed to human salvation. Her son, Christ, was instead to be the new Adam, which is why often in crucifixion paintings we see a skull under his feet on the ground that is meant to symbolise Adam's tomb, on which his cross grows like a tree." He said in a calm, matter-of-fact tone, as if he were telling an interesing story, Cregan and the bishop looked at him with interest.

However, she knew perfectly well why he had said it, and she felt her heart beating fast, a pleasant heat spread over her whole body, a flush of embarrassment on her face.

For me, you are like Eve in Eden, who appeared beside me as a godsend.

She was his Eve, and his Virgin Mary had her face.

She wasn't sure there was any more intimate, spiritual declaration of love.

The bishop hummed under his breath, nodding.

"Indeed, the professor is right, Our Lady and Christ are the announcement of a new paradise, but also of the good news that the exile and wandering of mankind is over, that the gates of heaven have been opened to them again." He said, folding his hands behind him, glancing at her stained glass window and then at her, with a kind of curiosity from which she felt discomfort.

"Who painted the face of that wondrous Mother of God that shines so luminously before us?" He asked lightly, and she saw her professor look at him uncertainly, standing with his hands folded in front of him.

"Me." He replied briefly, lowly, but she felt a kind of tension in his answer. She saw Father Bishop glance at him and then at her and corrected his glasses with a light flick of his hand, a kind of amusement passed across his face from which she felt a squeeze in her throat.

Despite her concern, he didn't return to the subject, but she for some reason felt like crying.

It won't work.

People will guess that they have something in common and destroy them both.

They'll assume that she was in an intimate relationship with him from the very beginning and that's why he accepted her. They'll turn it against him, they'll think that's why he didn't want to accept women in the first place.

She felt tears at that thought and immense pain.

She saw that he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, that he looked at her in the reflection of the mirror as they drove back to the hotel, but she was unable to look at him thinking that it was just a dream and nothing more, that she was naïve to think that what they were doing could have had any happy ending.

She went to her room without saying a word despite Cregan's encouragement for the three of them to have dinner at the restaurant and enjoy their new, wonderfully accomplished assignment.

She didn't have the strength to do that.

She was lying in her bed dressed in her pyjamas in complete darkness, knowing he would come, feeling in her heart ache at the thought that tomorrow they would return home, to the university, to an everyday life where what they did was immoral and would never be understood.

She shuddered when she heard movement on the balcony and then the quiet tapping of his fist on the window.

She thought for a moment that maybe she shouldn't open it, shouldn't give him or herself hope, but decided that she couldn't hurt him like that, just dismiss him without a word after what had happened between them.

She swallowed hard and stood up slowly, feeling her body tremble with fear, sadness and stress. She opened it and he stepped inside, closing her balcony door behind him, glancing at her quickly with concerned eyes, tense.

"What's going on?" He asked immediately, furrowing his brow, his voice trembling as he looked at her pleadingly.

He was afraid of what she would answer.

She pressed her lips together, looking away, feeling tears coming to the corners of her eyes, her body quivering all over. She shifted from foot to foot feeling overwhelmed and heartbroken at the same time.

"He knows. He knows it was my face you gave to your Virgin Mary." She muttered, looking up at him with suffering painted on her face, pulling in air with difficulty. She stepped back as he made a move towards her, but his hand caught her by the nape of her neck, pulling her close, shushing her tenderly.

"− shhh −" He whispered, pressing his forehead against hers, but she shook her head, tightening her hand on his wrist.

"− it won't work − someone will catch us − we won't hide −" She whispered, feeling tears begin to run down her cheeks and she sobbed quietly, heartbroken. He hushed her again, snuggling her face into his chest, embracing her tightly, tucking his nose into her hair.

She clung to him, clenching her fingers on his t-shirt, taking in the scent of his perfume, feeling so safe in his arms, so comfortable that it made her shiver in pain.

He was silent for a long moment, stroking her back and hair, listening to her raspy, anxious breathing.

"Just tell me if you want to try." He whispered quietly, and she felt a squeeze in her heart, feeling so painfully torn, at once wanting it with all her heart and panicking about the consequences of such a decision.

"I'm scared." She whispered in a trembling voice. He grasped her cheeks gently in his hand and lifted her face to look at him.

"I'm scared too, but that's not what I asked you." He said lowly, looking at her with a calmness that amazed her, a certainty and determination in his voice. She swallowed with difficulty, looking at him with her lips slightly parted.

I want to try.

It won't work.

I'm scared.

It's hard.

I want to try.

I don't know.

God.

"I don't know if you believe in God, but I do. Despite what has happened to me, I believe in him and that he is merciful. I also believe that he put you in my path, that he made me choose you because you are his gift, that he knows neither of us wants to do anything bad. I have never had the opportunity to care or look after anyone before in my life, but I want to do so for you. My sketches, your face that I painted, was an expression of my desperation and suffering, but this is the last time I let anyone see what I feel for you. This is the last time I put you in danger." He whispered in a trembling voice, making her completely stunned, tucking her hair behind her ear with a light, affectionate gesture of his fingers, a gesture that said 'you are mine'; 'I will protect you'; 'trust me'.

She looked at him with her lips slightly parted, feeling her heart pounding hard – she had the feeling that he himself was on the verge of crying, his fingers tracing the skin of her cheek was trembling, his gaze full of pain and affection from which she grew hot.

"Please, protect me." She mumbled helplessly, surrendering, feeling that she didn't have the strength to stand up to this, that even if she tried to lie to herself when she returned to the university she couldn't stop thinking about him, that it couldn't be undone anymore, that it was too late, that he had violently forced his way into her heart and she knew he had no intention of leaving it.

She saw him draw in a loud breath and sigh with relief, a small, shy smile crossed his face, gratitude that she had decided to trust him, that she wanted him to take care of her.

"I'll. I promise." He whispered, stroking her cheek with his fingers, and after a moment they leaned towards each other and kissed, deeply and tenderly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

She felt butterflies in her stomach at the thought of how infatuated he must have been with her, how much he must have wanted her, to need her touch, her tenderness, her kisses so much despite his experiences, despite his trauma.

"− do you want to finish what we started yesterday? −" He asked in a quiet, trembling voice, as if unsure and ashamed himself of how much he needed her closeness, how much he desired her.

She nodded, not knowing what to answer, and they kissed again, this time more greedily, more passionately, as if they had finally accepted the fact that they both wanted this, that things would be what they were meant to be, that all they wanted and needed now was each other.

This time it was he who took her hand in his and led her to her bed, it was he who sat up, looking up at her, breathing unevenly.

"Can I stroke your cheek?" She asked quietly, longing to do so for so long, from the moment he touched her for the first time.

She saw him swallow loudly, looking at her with wide eyes, and then he nodded. She lifted her hand slowly and he closed his eyelids, drawing in air loudly as her fingers touched his skin.

"Are you okay?" She asked quietly, and he nodded and hummed under his breath, tense.

After a moment, however, she saw his lips tighten in discomfort, his face contorted in a sudden expression of pain and despair, he grabbed her wrist and shook his head.

"− no − I − I'm not − I'm sorry −" He mumbled out and she quickly took her hand away, horrified by his condition, by the fact that he hid his face in his hands and burst into loud sobs, by the fact that his body began to tremble in convulsions.

She knelt on the floor in front of him, looking at him in pain and disbelief, not knowing what to do, holding her hands over his knees, afraid to touch him, that she would only make his condition worse.

"− I'm begging you, don't apologise − I'm the one who's sorry − so much has happened, I shouldn't have asked for this − forgive me, I didn't mean to hurt you −" She mumbled out on the verge of crying, hearing his accelerated, breaking breath, his body trembling from crying.

"− hurt me? − you can't even touch me − fuck! −" He growled out with difficulty through his tears, desperation and disappointment with himself in his voice, with the hope that something had changed, that something had finally snapped inside him.

She didn't know what to say, what to do, how to soothe him without even being able to embrace him, hug him.

"− that whore − then when she came to me − she touched me, she fucking touched me everywhere − my cheeks, my shoulders, my chest, my stomach, my −" He couldn't finish, speaking with such deep sorrow that her throat tightened. She felt tears under her eyelids as he uncovered his face in front of her, looking at her as if he was searching for understanding, as if he needed to confide in someone at last.

He drew in a deep breath, gathering himself to speak his next sentence, raising his hand like a professor who wanted to explain something to his student.

"− she touched me everywhere − e v e r y w h e r e − as if she wanted to contaminate my body − to make sure that no one would ever touch me after her again −" He spoke the last sentence in a low, breaking voice, tears in his eyes again. She covered her mouth with her hand, feeling that her whole body was shaking, that she was in such a state as he was.

She was terrified.

"− she destroyed me as a man − as a boy − you were right − it doesn't make sense − you don't deserve this, you will only face rejection from me −" He muttered covering his face with his hand, struggling to utter his words between trying to catch his breath out loud – she felt a powerful sting in her heart at his thought of her wanting to abandon him because he saw no hope for himself, because he was disappointed.

"− you said you would never touch a woman before me, and yet you've been sleeping in the same bed with me for the past two nights − you've been holding my hand and kissing me − you demand too much of yourself and you think I demand the same, but that's not true − I just want you to be there for me −" She said brokenly, realising how much she had gotten herself into this, how much she didn't want him to suddenly become a stranger to her again, to disappear from her life.

She heard him trying to calm down, grasping at her words like a razor, himself clearly no longer knowing what he was thinking, terrified.

"− I − I − I think I'm about to throw up −" He muttered, and she quickly picked herself up from the ground, running for the first thing she thought would come in handy, which was a vase, pulling the flowers out of it quickly and handing it to him.

Barely in time, he merely turned his back on her and vomited, quivering all over. She sat beside him on her bed, looking at him with an anguish she had never experienced before in her life, her trembling hands wiping away the tears of pain that streamed down her face.

She suffered because she couldn't even stroke his back, she suffered because she didn't know if she could at least touch his hand, or if it would be too much now, she had never felt so helpless before in her life.

She couldn't find words of comfort for him.

Easy, nothing happened, everything will be fine sounded only like empty phrases.

"− I'll stay with you − I'll take my duvet, we'll go to your room and I'll lie down on the armchair next to you − I'll be with you, okay? −" She asked in a trembling voice, fearing that in desperation he would now try to reject her. He, however, was panting loudly, still with his back turned to her, trying to calm his breathing.

He nodded his head.

He disappeared into the bathroom for a moment to bring himself and the vase to order, not letting her do it for him, and then left her room without looking at her. She took her duvet quickly and ran out after him barefoot, noticing with relief that he had left his balcony door open.

She followed him in, seeing that he had checked that the door to his room was closed and was watching her vigilantly as she closed his balcony door behind her.

He wanted to be sure that no stranger would enter at night.

That no one would hurt him.

Resigned, he moved slowly towards his bed and lay on his stomach with his head facing her, not looking at her but in front of him, his gaze blank, cold.

Just like when she met him.

She thought with a squeeze of her heart that perhaps if she hadn't wanted to touch him it wouldn't have happened and she felt like crying again, but she thought she had to be strong for him.

She sat down in the armchair by the coffee table standing a short distance from his bed and covered herself with her duvet. He rose suddenly, without looking at her.

"− you'll be uncomfortable there − lie on the bed, I'll sleep in the armchair −" He said indifferently, and she shook her head, covering herself more tightly.

"− no −" She burbled wrinkling her brow, preparing to resist if necessary. He looked at her, seeming more tired than ever.

"− come to bed −" He whispered, moving back, laying down on his sheets, and she shook her head.

"− I don't need to…−"

"Come here. I want you close." He said in a matter-of-fact, confident voice, and she swallowed loudly, looking at him uncertainly. She stood up slowly, circling the bed, laying down slowly on the opposite side of it, as far away from him as possible.

He was lying with his back to her and not looking at her, but she heard his breathing quicken once more, his body starting to tremble again.

He cried.

"− will you stroke my head? −" He whispered in a breaking voice, a shiver went through her when she realised how much he needed her, how much he was suffering.

"− I don't want to hurt you again −" She whispered uncertainly, looking up at him in pain, seeing his chest fall and rise in anxious breaths.

"− please −" He said in such a tone that she felt like her heart had just broke.

She moved a little closer to him with a quiet creak of the mattress so that she could reach him with her hand, but not touch him in any other way. She slowly lifted her trembling palm and combed her fingers through his hair in a slow, soft, gentle motion.

She felt him flinch and wanted to ask what was going on, if he didn't want it after all, but he spoke up first.

"− don't stop −"

And so she lifted her hand again with a pounding heart, placing it on his head, brushing her fingers through his hair with a delicate, tender gesture exactly as he had done the first night.

"− I will watch over you all night − no one will come in here − no one will touch you − you are safe − try to sleep −" She whispered tenderly, her hand trailing through his hair in slow, steady movements. She heard him swallow hard, but did not speak.

As promised, she forced herself to stay awake, or remain only half asleep, alert to his every movement. He woke up once in a while with a sigh and only glanced at her, terrified to feel her touch, but as soon as he recognised her something in his gaze softened.

"− sleep −" He whispered, but she shook her head, playing with his short hair. He looked at her thoughtfully for a moment, as if he was thinking about something.

"− embrace me − I want to feel you close −" He hummed, and she looked at him tenderly. She rose slowly, moving closer to him with her quilt, not stopping to stroke him, resting her arm on his back now, putting her head a little above his.

He moved closer to her, snuggling his forehead into the hollow of her neck, and finally fell into a peaceful sleep.

_____

Aemond Taglist:

(bold means I couldn't tag you)

@its-actually-minicika @notnormalthings-blog @nikstrange @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @k-y-r-a-1 @g-cf2020 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid @tinykryptonitewerewolf @namoreno @malfoytargaryen @qyburnsghost @aemondsdelight @persephonerinyes @fan-goddess

[fantastic-nonsense]

yeah I'm just going to swing a bat at the hornet's nest and wade into the discourse: Tim and Damian were canonically mutually jealous of each other during the pre-reboot era for (ironically) pretty similar reasons, and getting mad about WFA acknowledging it is an indication that you care more about defending your fave than you do about actually understanding what happened and how they've both grown beyond it since then. Is the Tim-Damian conflict in WFA the same as it is in canon? No. Does it have a solid, factual basis in Tim and Damian's canon issues? Yes.

Tim was jealous of Damian principally for two reasons. One, as a brand new adoptee, he felt incredibly insecure about his place in the Wayne family; Damian's demands to be treated with respect because he's Batman's biological son and his constant insults of Tim because Tim isn't hit Tim hard because of it. Tim feels like he's had to work incredibly hard to earn Bruce's love and respect while Damian gets it by default (which....lots to unpack there, but moving on), and the hurt that this causes combined with Damian's arrogant and cruel dismissal of Tim as a member of the family simply because he's not biologically related influences Tim's continued negative opinion of Damian. The dinosaur incident also doesn't help matters. Thus, he's resentful that Damian was (from his perspective) immediately accepted into the family despite his behavior towards them and hurt because he feels like his own place in the family is being denied by the newcomer.

Two, after losing so much and so many people and finally achieving a tiny bit of equilibrium in his life when Bruce adopts him, Damian shows up and, in his mind, more or less replaces him as the center of everyone's attention. This isn't really Damian's fault (his upbringing, trauma, and learned behaviors make him an incredibly difficult child who needs a lot of time, care, and attention from the adults around him), but Tim is right in that the second Damian shows up, he gets somewhat de-prioritized and trusted to handle himself in a time period where he's emotionally vulnerable and desperately craving positive attention and validation from his "new" family.

These feelings get touched on in multiple issues, particularly Batman & Son and Red Robin #1:

"What about us?" /// "If he is my son-even if he's not-he deserves some love and respect." "So let him earn it, like everyone else." -Batman #657 (Batman and Son)

"How can you let him wear that costume, Dick? What earth are we on that you choose him over me?" /// "Sorry, Drake. You're still part of the team--maybe the Batgirl costume is available." [Tim punches Damian in the face] "My name is Tim Wayne!" -Red Robin #1

Are Bruce and Dick actually choosing Damian over Tim? No, they're not. Dick is actually explicitly trying to express that he loves, respects, and trusts Tim (both as a person and as a competent vigilante) by calling Tim his "equal" and giving Damian the Robin mantle. But Tim is insecure and hurting and grieving throughout this entire period in his life, and he isn't thinking the most rationally about the situation. This is a moment that very reasonably feels like a betrayal to Tim, who sees it as Dick taking away the one stable thing he has left in the aftermath of Bruce dying, and then Damian walks into the room and implicitly denies him a place in the family. He feels replacable and unneeded, and his jealousy and resentment of Damian throughout this period are ultimately less about Damian personally (any personal dislike of Damian he has is largely due to other issues) and more about his own emotional instability and the insecurity he feels as an adoptee.

Meanwhile, Damian was jealous of Tim for the exact same reasons that he's jealous of Cass in Gates of Gotham: Bruce and Dick's easy trust in and respect of Tim, both as a person and as a vigilante, and the fact that Bruce chose Tim to be part of his family and never chose Damian (even though Bruce accepted him anyway). He views Tim as a threat and rival for his father's affections, and to that end his constant insults towards Tim tend to lean in two directions: undermining his place in the family and undermining his competence as a vigilante. Both types of insults are the direct outgrowth of Damian's own insecurities about his place in the family.

Damian has a notable and recurring desire to feel useful, competent, and accepted within the Batfam. It's explicitly what Damian wants most in this era: to be accepted and for his skills to be recognized. Dick even comments on it during the Hit List arc: "he practically bleeds a need to be accepted." In many ways, Damian thinks that if he’s not succeeding at proving his competency and usefulness, he’s failing at proving he’s worthy to stay in Gotham, and his consistent prickliness towards other people is often a front to cover up his insecurities about these things. This crops up pre-reboot literally as early as Batman and Son:

"But she's not there now, is she? Because she wants something from Great Britain in exchange for the life of the Prime Minister's wife and I think I know what it is." "It's Gibraltar! She wants the garrison at Gibraltar! See? I can be useful!" -Batman & Son (2006)

And as late as Gates of Gotham, when he gets angry and snappy at Cass because she pulled him away from disabling the bomb at Elliot Tower (in his mind, undermining his competence as a vigilante) and promptly starts insulting her behind her back:

"Cassandra's not useless." "No. She's spineless, naive, and fragile. And I don't trust her." "You don't trust anyone..." "And your eagerness to trust makes you weak." "Well, deny it all you want...but I think we both know the only real reason you don't like her...is that she's just one more person your father picked over you." -Gates of Gotham #3

It's also explicitly noted during the infamous Red Robin Hit List arc, where Damian talks about how "it isn't fair" that Tim still doesn't trust him despite all of the work he's put in to change his thoughts, behavior, and tactics from how he was taught in the League. He lashes out at Tim during "The Hit List" because he'd finally gained some measure of trust and respect from Dick and some personal equilibrium in his life...and then Tim comes swooping back into Gotham after having gained the respect of Damian's grandfather and proceeds to unearth the surprise revelation that Bruce (the father who rejected Damian) respected Tim enough to hand over (nominal) control of Wayne Enterprises to him, poach on his quality time with Dick, and continue to distrust Damian despite his very real struggles to change.

You feel a lot for Damian during the Reborn era because you can chart a direct path between the hurt he feels at being seemingly rejected by the one person he'd desperately wanted approval from for years–Bruce–and the ways in which he lashes out at Dick, Tim, Alfred, etc when suddenly not too long after that incident Bruce is dead and he's stuck with this group of people who clearly and obviously don't like or trust him. He's constantly trying to prove himself as worthy of being there and, very reasonably, gets frustrated and hurt and angry when his efforts are met with continued distrust and hostility.

Tim's continued lack of trust (which Tim has for good but genuinely misguided reasons!) feeds into Damian's resentment and jealousy of him; this is especially true given that Tim is consistently portrayed as competent, trusted, and deeply loved by basically every other member of the Batfam–particularly by Dick and later Bruce, the two people whose opinions Damian values most–during this time period. So yeah: Damian is jealous of Tim too, and his behavior towards Tim is largely indicative of that plus his frustration at Tim's continued distrust of him. His methods of dealing with that hurt (cutting Tim's line and trying to fight him afterwards) are absolutely unacceptable and are treated as such, but they come from a totally understandable place.

Luckily "The Hit List" is basically THE lowest point for Tim and Damian’s relationship. It starts improving immediately after this; multiple writers showcase a definite shift in Tim and Damian’s dynamic after that point, and by the time we get to Gates of Gotham (the last time they interact pre-reboot), we were getting scenes like this:

Gates of Gotham #3

They were absolutely still prickly and kinda rude towards each other (and I wouldn’t necessarily say they liked each other), but they had very clearly grown, were on much better terms, and were able to trust each other while working and fighting together. They've both individually matured and grown enough to the point where they're able to start moving on from that initial period of distrust and jealousy and move forward into a new era (and then we get the reboot, but that's a different discussion for another day).

tl;dr: Yes, Tim was jealous of Damian. Yes, Damian was jealous of Tim. Those are both objective facts that canon addressed and dealt with in a variety of different ways throughout the pre-reboot era. Tim and Damian are jealous and resentful of each other largely because they're two traumatized kids who feel deeply insecure about their place in the family and the utility of their skills in a time of immense personal upheaval. Neither of them are totally right; neither are totally wrong. Both of them act terribly towards each other because of it, and I refuse to let people blame the entirety of this conflict on one of them or pretend like their mutual jealousy of each other didn't exist and didn't contribute to their behavior.

[yan-lorkai]

Hii, i hope you're doing great! Can i request child!reader with yandere!obey me characters (specifically Solomon and anybody else is up to you ) who has a hard time expressing emotions and they mostly show 'em through actions (happy=gives gifts or something like that)

Thank you in advance and have a great day! :)

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/N: Hiii (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)/~, this was such a cute request I loved it. Hope you like it and have a great day too!

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Warmings: Platonic yandere, very minor spoiler abt Solomon's past, brief mention of hypothetical trauma/abuse

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Characters: Solomon, Lucifer & Barbatos

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Solomon is a human, although many disagree with this fact. He is human and when he was just a little boy expressing himself was not possible; His very existence was a secret, so he can kind of understand why you are the way you are.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ He quickly notices that you don't express yourself like an ordinary child. A child your age would be exploring the world through imaginative games, a child your age would cry in frustration or because they are afraid, or they don't understand something. Children are complex like that, but you are so much more complex.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ You don't show your feelings or your thoughts to him, or to anyone. And he wants to find out why; Could it be shyness or something that caused this difficulty in demonstrating what you think and feeling? He doesn't know yet, but he will soon, in the meantime he accepts the small gifts you give him when you're feeling happy, an attempt you make to let him know that you appreciate him a lot. Solomon loves your little gifts and as you give him more and more gifts, the more he realizes that it is through them that you express yourself.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ And he uses words and actions to let you know how important you are to him. He plays with you till you're falling asleep, he'll make you laugh till you're crying and your belly aching, for you are like his own little sibling he didn't have. And he loves you a ton.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ But if this difficulty you have is due to some trauma, rest assured knowing that he will remove whoever hurt you from your life. In the meantime, he can sit down with you and talk about healthy ways to express yourself and it may be awkward at first but he only wants to help you.

⠀⠀

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Lucifer is pretty much the same. Well, he was once, his words are harsh most of the time and his actions are too subtle for anyone unaware to understand. So yes, he can see from afar that you can't express yourself as you should, Lucifer doesn't know what happened to make you like this, but he's going to have a long talk with you about it to make sure it's just something childish and passing, and not something more serious.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ You give him gifts and even made him a blurry stick figure drawing of you, his brothers and him when you're happy. Your gifts are simple, but he loves them so much and is constantly repeating the things that make you happy so that you give him more gifts and remain happy, forever. It's like a never-ending cycle, a cycle he will repeat and repeat just to hear your soft laugh and your shining eyes.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ He likes it when you're happy, that means you won't ignore him when you're angry or throw rocks at him like you once did. If you were an angel, then surely he took you as some kind of apprentice and that's why he also made you fall with him and his brothers after the war. He knows this is extremely selfish of him, but he can't help it. You are family now and families stay together.

⠀⠀

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Barbatos is observant. He notices the subtlest things and watches them from afar, so naturally he feels curious about you. You are different from Diavolo when he was a child, you are different from Luke, Barbatos wants to understand where this difference comes from. It's interesting for him to see you interacting with the people you like and the world around you; he instantly realizes that giving gifts is how you express yourself.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ When you're happy you give him gifts, you distance yourself from him when you are sad, you remain quiet when you are angry. And Barbatos knows how to handle your moods perfectly without being annoying or condescending.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ In gratitude for your gifts, usually Barbatos gives you delicious sweets, sews you beautiful dolls and plushies. And sometimes, he just lets you stay in the kitchen while he cooks, answering any questions you has or having you help him. It's the little moments he spends by your side that are important and you seem to agree by the way you has a small smile on your face.

[stuffforthestash]

Modern Academic AU I Guess?

Got the idea of professor Raphael stuck in my damned brain all morning, so here's hoping writing thoughts down will banish him back to the hells yeah? Edit: There is now a Part 2 and Part 3 __________________________ Raphael - School of Law, obvs. Teaches courses on contract law and legal ethics. He has a reputation for being the kind of asshole professor that can make or break your academic career, and the fact he's tenured is likely the only reason he hasn't been fired over the countless reports of student blackmail and harassment. Gale - Dep't of Literature. His classes are all niche topics like "Magic, Myth, & The Power Of Metaphor", "From Merlin To Dumbledore: A Historical Look At The Wizard's Role In Storytelling", and "The Ancient Art of Flyting", and they're extremely popular. He loves his job, the students love him, but he's rubbed a lot of his colleagues the wrong way. Astarion - School of Theater & Music. Teaches the 101 level acting course and has a rep for being absolutely brutal, but his methods are undeniably effective. Also teaches stage combat workshops, and is constantly on thin ice with the admin for the way he encourages the gaggle of students that started a fan club for him. Wyll - Health Sciences. He's a practicing physical therapist who was invited to also teach part time, due to having gained a reputation as a leading specialist in working with underserved minorities and victims of trauma. His classes are niche and can be hard to get into due to limited availability. Knows Astarion because they're both in HEMA, and sometimes helps with the combat workshops Karlach - Women's rugby coach and former pro-athlete who had to retire after a chest injury. Is also in HEMA, and was inspired by her buddy Wyll to also pursue Phys. Therapy as a career shift. Shadowheart - Grad student doing her thesis on some obscure theological topic, teaches a generic 101 level religious studies class and is obviously only there because the school requires her to put in the hours. Lae'zel - Also a grad student, transferred from overseas. Studying Sports Management and was assigned as an assistant coach to Karlach, except she's in ASC and is constantly making digs about how their practices are vastly superior to HEMA's foolishness. Halsin - Environmental Science. He's the department chair, and teaches courses on conservationism and land management. All his courses are out in the field though, which means he's never on campus and is nearly impossible to get hold of. He hates being the dep't chair, and he only reason he even accepted the position is because nobody else would. Jaheira - Facilities director, not a teacher. Always somehow knows everything that's happening on campus, has contacts everywhere for anything you could want done, and is the person you least want to piss off. Minsc is her shadow, nobody's even entirely sure if he actually works here but is too afraid of Jaheira to ask. And if you actually made it this far, well.. thanks for reading? I'm so sorry? But also share your thoughts! And lemme know if there's any other characters worth doing a 2nd post for.

[dangermousie]

I saw a post where you analyzed some details in Flower of Evil (particularly the relationship between the lead couple) and your analysis was super interesting.

I dropped that drama ages ago somewhere in the second episode because it just felt like things had already gone so horribly wrong that there was no possible way that it could be brought back to a story that I'd enjoy. I was wondering if you might be able to explain how that isn't the case so I should give it another chance, ideally without spoiling anything too huge? Or do you think my first instinct was right? If I couldn't stomach the first two episodes it probably just isn't the drama for me? My original interest in watching it was for the romance more than anything else.

I would love to analyze (always game for FoE freakouts) and address the issue but I think I could do it better if you clarified a little what you mean by "it just felt like things had already gone so horribly wrong that there was no possible way that it could be brought back to a story that I'd enjoy."

Is it a worry that there would be no happy ending (and one that feels earned/logical not tacked on) for the couple and/or ML (or FL), or that the progression of the relationship would not be anything you like or not given sufficient importance? Or something else?

If it's the former, while I can't say whether you'd like it or not because it's very hard to predict what clicks and doesn't for another person (I have like two mutuals where I automatically know if they like X, I am guaranteed to do so) but I can answer that:

(a) This drama has a happy ending that felt right and justified and not tacked on for me - in terms of both characters individually and the ship. They both go through hell but emerge into sunshine on the other side; by the end of it, Hyun Soo knows exactly how much he's both known and loved by Ji Won (and it's huge for a man who believed on a deep level nobody could possibly love someone like him nor should they) but also he's accepted that he himself is not a monster but is capable of love. And Ji Won loves her husband as much as she did at the start and has proven exactly how much and this time it's based on true knowledge of all of him - because before that she loved him for what he was (his characteristics were all true even if his background was not) but now she knows exactly the traumas and events that shaped him and the issues that haunted him and...she still sees the slightly odd, quite introverted, very caring man she fell in love with. It's a process, she thinks things through and it takes her time to get there, it is not linear but it is so thorough and glorious. She basically goes with her whole behavior: I see you fully and I know you fully and because of that sight and knowledge I love you MORE. And he processes that but also, in an even huger emotional shift, he realizes that he loves HER, that he's always loved her, he just had no vocabulary for it and no ability to process that this is what he felt due to all the trauma and gaslighting and what not.

(b) This is a romance drama. Oh, it has a good plot with its share of mysteries and mini-mysteries, and it's a great character study and has a lot of other interesting things to say. But ultimately, it's a romance. It is centered not really on the mystery of who Do Hyun Soo actually is, or who was/is committing various murders, or when Ji Won would figure stuff out or w/e - it focuses on a relationship between husband and wife who desperately love one another. This drama had an INSANE fixation with shots of their wedding rings and it was for a reason because this is the story of their marriage more than it is anything else.

It actually features a trope that is very much my catnip and narratives (outside of Gong Xinwen novels) don't do often enough - where the woman is the rescuer and the white knight and the savior and the man is this beautiful, oddly fragile (despite being competent and potentially deadly) being in need of rescue. And I don't mean just in the metaphorical sense - she is the reason DHS still has his sanity and found happiness and healing - nah she rescues him in the most physical way possible, from drowning, from various other acts of harm. In a way, Ji Won and Hyun Soo are a noir couple with genders reversed - a tough pragmatic detective and an alluring romantic partner with a mysterious past and ambiguous in terms of morality vibe, a homme fatale. But who (which also happens in some noir), turns out an abused, gaslit person who needs saving and who has honestly is owed by the world for all the hell it put him through.

Once again, I can't say if you'd like the drama - but the above is why I love love love love LOVE it and thank you for letting me have a chance to rant.

[astroyongie]

NCT 127 April Reading 2024

Note. please take it with a grain of salt

Taeil

Love: Taeil is in a relationship and it seems like things are alright however I do see here some sort of shift on his relationship. Taeil has been having some confessions lately and although he usually ignored it, there’s one confession in particular that he cannot remove for some reason. 

Career: He is happy with his situation as an idol. I know some people can often complain about his situation but it does seem like Taeil is rather happy with how things are at the moment. i also believe that he will be preparing to enter military soon

Self: He has been feeling a little more lethargic, a little more lazy and procrastinating a lot when it comes to his work. i think he is a little burnout but he has a hard time accepting it 

Johnny

Love: I believe that Johnny is in a rather complicated situation when it comes to his love life. there’s someone in his life currently but at the same time the person feels too out of touch. this is perhaps because they haven't officialize anything between them and Johnny keeps the relationship without labels

Career: There have been some issues here. as far as i can tell there was a big argument (while shuffling i know this also including Jungwoo and Doyoung). but Johnny’s argument goes further with someone that works inside the company that has been actively going against him. things are rocky and he has been annoyed overall.

Self: Johnny knows h has been losing his cool lately, that he has been a little more bitchy and on a fool mood but he is also having a hard time managing these emotions and pouring them out in a healthy manner. he needs time to recenter 

Taeyong

Love: Taeyon’s situation is turbulent. He is seeing someone whom he has a strong attachment with but he also knows that with his military service they won't be seeing each other as much as they have been. This is kinda making him respond with a “fight flight” mechanism. i don't know if his relationship will survive this time due to Taeyong’s own insecurities

Career: He is happy that he will be taking a break from the idol life that is without a doubt. Also his sponsor is super glued to him, they are an amazing support and they will make sure his name is remembered even while he is away to complete his service 

Self: He is in a rather positive mood, he is still working on himself, on his habits and on his own traumas but he is reaching a better and healthier mindset. Taeyong is also understanding mistakes that he has made and how to change them. he relies a lot on his family and close friends 

Yuta

Love: Yuta is without a doubt dating and on a happy side of his relationship. This feels like they are still on their honeymoon. The boundaries are respected, the connection is mutual and they are both in love with each other which is super positive taking in consideration Yuta’s love life for the past years. 

Career: He might have some conflicts with his members and the company altogether as well. This is mostly dealing with opportunities that are wasted and not given when it comes to solo projects pushed forward by the company (and not the sponsors). favoritism is something that annoys Yuta a lot 

Self: I feel like despite his stable love life, Yuta is someone that gets bored easily nd even now it feels like he doesn't have enough he probably feels like his career isn't complete and that the fact that he cannot do more is giving him the feeling of lacking in certain areas of his career. 

Doyoung

Love: When it comes to Doyoung he is also in a relationship (probably with a fellow idol). things are going good for him and he is actually trying to build up the relationship and making this last for once. He isnt in love with the person but he has strong feeling for them and Doyoung is learning to know them and connecting with them for a bigger cause

Career: Like I mentioned with Johnny, I believe that Doyoung has had a big conflict with his members (again probably Johnny and Jungwoo, although Yuta’s energy also came as affected by it). It feels like Johnny and Jungwoo aren't talking to Doyoung at the moment and Doyoung believe that they are benign childish about this issue (no one seems ready to apologize in both parties)

Self: He is focused, he is ready, Doyoung has no time to look at things that are meaningless as he is very focused on his career and making sure he leaves a good impression on the public and for his fans. he also knows he has talent and that he can reach far with the right people by his side 

Jaehyun

Love: For Jaehyun’s case, I wasn't able to get that much insight about his love life. i have no idea about his situation since the cards didn't want me to look and thus by respect i won't be forcing it. 

Career: Whatever issues it ws, it also impacted Jaehyun in a way. mostly because he hates injustices and he doesn't know how to deal with the tension and because of that he isn't enjoying being around his members. on another side, Jaehyhun needs to be extra careful with his friends because there’s the possibility of his name getting stain in rumors and accusations 

Self: He is doing rather well overall. His health seems to be okay and his financial status is still high and wealthy. Jaehyun is smart and he also knows how to put himself in a positive mindset despite chaos unfolding before his eyes

Jungwoo

Love: Jungwoo is in a relationship but things are a little shaky which doesn't surprise me). The communication with his partner isn't the best, as they often don't understand each other’s opinions and perceptions. I feel like he has been longing for something his partner cannot offer him

Career: As you all know, these big issues interrupted. This was said and done and he is having a hard time coping with it all. But on the other side, jungwoo is still working a lot on his career and on his financial security and for that he is happy with himself. He believes in his capacities and he believes he can be just as good as any other member. 

Self: Things are a little tangled. He is working a lot and sometimes he can feel pressured and overcommitted. but Jungwoo is trying to find stability by working on things at the time. He is okay, we just need to trust the process as he does.

Mark

Love: Mark i believe is in a relationship although things are a little complicated to read for him. All I can say is that he is seeing someone (but i have no idea if it is that idol he dated last year or this is someone else). all i know is that at the moment they both share the same vision of things and that the relationship is healthy

Career: Compared to the other members, he is rather on a good spot. He is happy with his career, since his opportunities are always coming in and his schedule is full (which means that his pockets too). Mark is drinking from a big glass and the people that are supporting him are influential enough to secure him a good career

Self: Despite the fact that I believe he is okay physically, I don't think Mark is okay mentally and I don't think he has conscience of this. It feels like he doesn't understand that it is not normal to feel this anxious, that it's not normal not to sleep at night or to have burst out. for him. he believes this is routine but his mental health is screaming 

Haechan

Love: Haechan is currently back at being single. this doesn't feel like it is his choice to be single but more like it had to happen. although it feel like he sees people and he has his own things, he just aint on a labeled relationship anymore (and he is trying to cope with that as well) 

Career: He would murder someone in SM if he had the chance. I feel like the lost opportunities and the broken promises have put him in such a foul mood and he is also probably involved in the big argument that happened between the members. on another hand, i also feel a lot of jealousy and moody behaviors and feelings coming from his energy 

Self: Just like Mark, I believe he is physically okay but that his mental health is completely shattered but in his case, he knows about it but he won't be doing anything about it. because he doesn't want to admit things to himself and that results in psychosomatic reactions from his body.

[igorvinyls]

Why I Believe John Lennon is Asuka Langley

Hello everyone! I originally created a thread about this over on Twitter, though I also want to post it here just because. I want to preface this by saying while this is mostly a joke, I still want to point out the similarities between the two. I find that both John and Asuka are very complex people/characters that happen to heavily relate to each other. Obvious spoilers for Neon Genesis Evangelion. TW FOR TOPICS SUCH AS SUICIDE AND DEATH.

CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

Both John and Asuka lost their mothers from a young age, with Asuka losing her mother at 4 and John losing his mother just before his 18th birthday. It’s known that John’s mother wasn’t exactly mentally stable as Mimi, John’s aunt, was given custody of him. Similarly to John’s mother, Asuka’s mom, Kyoko, was also mentally unstable. Kyoko lost her mind after surviving a failed experiment with Evangelion Unit-02. This experiment would also end up taking the life of Yui Ikari, Shinji’s mother (this is important info for later.) Kyoko ultimately committed suicide after losing her mind and her husband in the process. Though it is ambiguous how Asuka’s father felt towards her, he did indeed drive his daughter away by cheating on Kyoko while hospitalized. It’s also known that John’s father wasn’t very involved with him up until the height of Beatlemania. Both John and Asuka were never very close with their parents due to many different factors.

(It can also be argued that John and Asuka were both adopted, but Asuka being adopted was only canon in the manga. For the sake of this post, I’ll only mention canon events from the anime going forward.)

I would also like to bring up this video.

RELATIONSHIPS WITH LOVERS

John and Yoko will probably be the most recognized celebrity couple in the world. It’s also recognized that John had an Oedipus complex which was sometimes discussed. The same can be said for Asuka, considering the fact that she romantically latched onto Kaji, a 30 year old special inspector for NERV. Asuka does this to fill the void of a perfect father figure in her life, as well as filling the role of a lover. John mentions doing this with Yoko numerous times. John and Yoko would even go as far as calling each other mommy and daddy. Moving onto other romantic relationships, I will now discuss Shinji, Asuka, John, and Paul. Shinji and Asuka have this strange dynamic throughout the story of Evangelion. Asuka is secretly in love with Shinji (you can already see which direction this is headed in), though Shinji has a hard time reciprocating his feelings due to his own personal struggles. Asuka’s rudeness and constant bullying also confuses Shinji, leaving him to wonder what Asuka truly feels for him. In this scenario, Paul would be in the same boat as Shinji. Shinji and Paul both lost their mothers at a young age. Paul and John bonded over the loss of their mothers. In a way, this also happens with Shinji and Asuka. It’s easy to tell that Shinji is more drawn towards Asuka after she tells him that her stepmom isn’t her actual mother. John and Paul go on to have a rivalry as they grow older, which also happens to Asuka and Shinji, though their rivalry was highlighted since day one. This rivalry between the two characters progresses all the way to the finale of the series. You can say that Asuka finally accepts Shinji when she lifts her hand up to his cheek while he is brutally strangling her. This act is seen as her accepting him into her heart after everything that they’ve been through. John and Paul also reconcile towards the end of John’s life. In Evangelion, the world is quite literally destroyed at the end of the series when the two finally reconcile. I’m not gonna be cheesy and say the same for John and Paul, but yeah. MOVING ON NOW.

OTHER FACTORS

John and Asuka have a habit of trying to appear more “mature” than they truly are. Asuka constantly boasts about being the best and most mature out of everyone. Same can be said for John. We also see this with his marriage to Cynthia Powell, John’s first wife. In my eyes, John’s first marriage was a rush to maturity considering the fact that he was only 21. I could say the same for John having a child with Cynthia at such a young age as well. John and Asuka, though trying to seem mature, are ultimately vulnerable people who tend to regress. Asuka acts like a young, lovestruck girl with Kaji. John acted in a similar fashion with Yoko. Asuka and John had massive egos. What else is there to say, really?

FINAL SUMMARY AND A FUN FACT

This is gonna be a quick one that basically ties together the points of my threads.

John and Asuka were seriously neglected as children which had a massive impact on their social development, as well as behavior.

Both had large egos, yet low self esteem.

The only fun fact about the two I have is that they both know German and Japanese.

THANKS FOR READING!

[littlemissclandestine]

Soft!Russell Adler x Reader pt.2

Note: Hello again my fellow Adler enjoyers! Just thought I'd add some more hcs because tbh this list is endless. He knows exactly how to treat a woman and you can't tell me otherwise. Look at him! GRAHHH!! Enjoy my lovelies... - Star ✰

🤎 Soft!Adler who has a habit of doing everything for you and you tell him to stop but he says that you've been a strong, independent woman all of your life and that it's one of the reasons he fell for you but now it's time for his girl to relax and enjoy life a little, and for you to let him take care of you

🤎 Soft!Adler who has the cutest pet names for you such as sweetheart, darlin', doll, honey, beautiful, gorgeous, tiger, princess etc

🤎 Soft!Adler who loves calling you his girl and gettin' all possessive

🤎 Soft!Adler who stands behind you while you're in front of a mirror as you're almost ready to go out, putting the necklace that he gifted you on for you, planting kisses on your neck, his hands tracing the outline of your body as he looks at you both in the mirror, in awe of you

🤎 Soft!Adler who always picks up your favourite things when he's out shopping and you're not with him, your likes and dislikes ingrained in his brain

🤎 Soft!Adler who understands your needs, both physical and emotional and fulfils them in a way that makes you adore him even more everyday

🤎 Soft!Adler who craves intimacy but denied it for far too long because of how his last relationship ended and underneath all of that bravado, America's monster needs to be reminded he is, in fact, human

🤎 Soft!Adler who takes time out and makes a conscious effort to visit your family when you finally introduce him even though it's something that makes him slightly nervous but he does it for you whether they like him or not

🤎 Soft!Adler who buys you flowers, chocolates, bath bombs etc. when you least expect it

🤎 Soft!Adler who makes you breakfast in bed during slow mornings, insisting he cleans up the plates and you have a nice soak, coming up to massage your scalp, scrub you gently and read a book to you as you hang your arms over the edge of the tub, your chin resting on top of your hands, listening intently

🤎 Soft!Adler who catches a whiff of your scent on his shirt or jacket at work, smiling to himself, leaning back in his chair as he remembers how you wore it the day before and he closes his eyes, inhaling it once more before getting back to his job

🤎 Soft!Adler who lets you apply his war paint for him on missions

🤎 Soft!Adler who offers to give you massages, claiming he is an expert and nobody would pass up on it, not even Woods or Mason

🤎 Soft!Adler who secretly loves skin on skin

🤎 Soft!Adler who picks you up bridal style or throws you over his shoulder whenever he feels like it, carrying you around the house

🤎 Soft!Adler who kisses every part of you that you don't love and cherishes it because he knows the pain of low self esteem and in his eyes, every inch of you is beautiful

🤎 Soft!Adler who opens car doors and pulls out chairs for you like a proper gentleman would

🤎 Soft!Adler who playfully smacks your ass when nobody's looking as you're boarding a heli or getting into a SUV if you work together

🤎 Soft!Adler who admires you for who you are and feels inspired by you, making him want to be a better person, not just for him but for you

🤎 Soft!Adler who won't get up and move when you've fallen asleep on him, even if his limbs are feeling numb, out of fear of disturbing you

🤎 Soft!Adler who's only vulnerable with you

🤎 Soft!Adler who tells you how you make him feel alive again after all of the trauma he has endured over the years due to the requirements of his job and the toll it takes on him, no matter how much he denies the extent of it

🤎 Soft!Adler who always wonders if he's doing right by you, how he managed to pull a girl like you in the first place, if you'd stay in his life no matter how long he's away for, how hard it gets and if you'd accept his hand in marriage when, not if, the time comes

🤎 Soft!Adler who lets his tears fall when he finally gets to see you walk down the aisle

dividers by @chachachannah <33

[hiwelcometothemonstersancturary]

So, did Smilling Critters really die out here? Wouldn't there be some kind of way for them to still be alive, or for the prototype to revive them? It's because I would like to see them here in your AU, mainly I would like to see CatNap apologize to them and have an emotional meeting with all of them.

(besides, you have a great AU, I loved it the first time it was posted :D)

AAAAAAAAA, thank you so much!!! I'm glad you like my AU!

I have been going on and off about letting the other Smiling Critters have a permanent death in my AU or not, but I think that for the "main version" of the AU they will be gone. Permanent type of gone.

In my own headcanons, PickyPiggy ate the remains of CraftyCorn, Bubba Bubbaphant and KickinChicken. I still don't know if I prefer her to have been so hungry she ended up turning on her friends, or if an accident happened and she was so hungry she ate their bodies. Either way, she also tried to attack Bobby, with Hoppy and Dogday stopping it from happening and leaving her behind. Hoppy died during an accident while the trio was running from Catnap, and Bobby died soon after. Again, I don't know how she died: Either a broken heart from losing so many of her friends, or from a critical injury from trying to save Dogday.

I think most of their bodies if not all of them were claimed by the Prototype, so in theory they could be brought back. In practice, however, all of this started because Elliot Ludwig couldn't accept the fact his daughter would be gone and desperately wanted her to have a chance to live. Angel and Prototype both know Dogday and Catnap miss their friends, and the duo's ever-increasing guilt is only going to get worse as they process their trauma, but bringing their friends back from the dead is not the way to do it. Deep down Angel wants to try that, but they can't and shouldn't. And it hurts, yes, but they can't allow the cycle to continue.

... ON THE OTHER HAND. Good God do I wish I could bring these dumb critters back from the dead, or at least make it so that Catnap trapped everyone/sent them to the Playtime Co's equivalent of the shadowrealm or maximum security prison, and Angel has to save them and stitch them back together during chapter 4. OR, EVEN, everyone discovering the other critters were still alive when the authorities go in to investigate the factory and find them very malnourished, but still alive.

IN MY OPINION Picky would have a hard time eating, thanks to her trying to eat her own friends. She goes vegan because even the smell of meat makes her stomach curl, and she decides to try gardening around the isolated house. She can't look most of the other toys in the face due to trauma, but she's trying so hard.

Kickin picked beef with both Mommy Long Legs and Kissy Missy. MLL finds him to be a sort of "annoying little brother", and Kissy is always making an >:( expression with some of the things Kickin tries to do. His way of coping is via trying to fill himself with hobbies. He gets diagnosed with ADHD and surprises no one.

Bobby has abandonment issues, becomes Long Legs' and Kissy's best friend, and now they NEVER leave each other's side. Bobby tries romance books and movies, only to realize what really soothes her anxious mind is, ironically, horror. And Doom. Lots of Doom. She also takes responsibility in helping take care of the younger toys, and I think she's also the first to fully accept Catnap's apologies. She hugs him and he becomes close to crying, then she starts sobbing and they're both hugging each other and crying. Her right arm needs extensive treatment due to her getting it badly injured, though.

Craftycorn has a 50/50 chance of becoming an Youtuber or influencer and no one can't change my mind, girl is the queen of MySpace /j. But being serious, she, much like Bobby, has abandonment issues, but is also TERRIFIED of the dark thanks to Playtime. It also takes her a long time to go back into drawing, and an even longer time to pick up any red pencils. It reminds her of blood. This however does end with her finding out drawing horrifying creatures helps her cope with her anxiety! Second to forgive Catnap and acquires an habit of making outfits and trinkets for the other toys. Also she has to wear braces on her hands and is always grumpy when her hands (hooves?) start hurting.

Bubba... My baby. My poorest boy. Mentally speaking, he seems to be the most well-adjusted, until he finds out he keeps forgetting what he reads or studies. He tries to play it cool, to be a helping hand to poor Dogday and Angel, tries to learn everything from the other toys so he can start making plans on what he wants to do for this future, but he just. Can't think about a future. And a few months later it's 3AM and he can't stop crying and chewing on his own pillows, and he feels awful and he keeps forgetting things and why does every little thing bothers him SO much, his recovery has been going so well, why is it happening? And then the flashbacks happen, and oooh boy, he does NOT escape the PTSD and burnout diagnosis. Much like Craftycorn he's extremely grumpy about his symptons, but Bobby and Crafty are trying to help him be kinder to himself.

Hoppy would probably need at least an year or two to physically recover from her injuries. She hates the fact her legs got so badly hurt during her time at Playco, and for the first few weeks she's grumpy, very easily startled, and very mean to others. It takes her the longest to even look at Catnap without wanting to murder him. Catnap sometimes wishes she had never started to forgive him, because now the only one left to forgive him is himself. Also I think Hoppy is the second one hit with the ADHD diagnosis, surprising no one.

Also. Ahem. All of them are besties with Miss Delight, who helps some of them try to understand Catnap more. Our big feline is constantly worrying about hurting his friends again and his guilt is eating him from the INSIDE OUT, but at least Dogday is there to help him. Speaking of which!

Don't tell anyone but Dogday has been smoking and drinking. He's 21, tired, and therapy is a long process. He thinks he's hiding well from everyone else (he can't be a bad example to them!) until, again, 3AM hits and he sees Mommy Long Legs smoking and Catnap coming back from the Prototype's barn smelling like alcohol. So all three of them stare at each other like "...", until they hear something falling down inside.

Surprise surprise, it's a drunk Angel.

THANKFULLY. These bad habits will eventually go away as, again, they recover from the trauma and start finding healthier coping mechanisms. But until then everything is MESSYYYYYY

... Okay now I'm once again reconsidering the idea of bringing them back from the dead or not rip-