#because he remembers just how much crap he went through at that age and beyond

[hypewinter]

Early Accident AU

So Danny becomes Phantom at like age 8 or something right. And everything goes just about similar to canon, including TUE. The only difference is that instead of the meeting being called because Danny cheated on a career aptitude test, it's now because his teacher is just worried about him and is staging a sorta intervention thing.

So anyway, Danny cannot stop the Nasty Burger explosion and ends up going to live with Vlad. Which isn't going well. He's constantly crying and feeling guilty for not stopping the incident. There's also the constant fear that he'll become Dan. Vlad is doing nothing to address any of this. Instead he's showing off his godson to anyone and everyone and bragging about how smart he is. In fact, that's exactly what he does when he gets invited to a Wayne Gala.

The bats take one look at this kid, who's eyes are still red from crying, being dragged around by his guardian and alarm bells immediately start ringing. Especially for Tim who experienced what it was like being dragged around to special events even when he was incredibly ill.

The bats get even more concerned when Vlad pulls his charge into a corner to scold him for looking miserable instead of comforting him. He's telling the kid stuff like only babies are allowed to get away with crying and that if he continues making the man look bad, he'll be punished when they get home.

Danny does his best to suck it up. He tries to push down all the swirling emotions surrounding his powers, the death of all his loved ones, and even the unprocessed trauma of his own death. He ends up going to the bathroom to try to splash some water in his face and calm down.

As he's making his way back to Vlad, he is intercepted by Tim. When this kind stranger sincerely asks him if he's ok, he breaks down. This is the first person to genuinely ask him how he's doing since he's family's death outside of people doing it for the sake of pleasantries.

Now the boy is absolutely ugly crying in front of this whole party of people and Vlad is not pleased to say the least. He tries to snatch Danny up and whisk him away but the bats intervene. Bruce says something about knowing how to console children as Dick ushers Danny into a separate room where Alfred is already waiting with some hot chocolate.

After a while Danny starts to calm down and he goes to wipe his eyes. As he's doing this, his sleeve slips down a little, revealing an arm covered in bandaids. To explain, it hasn't been that long since Danny came to live with Vlad. Couple that with his healing factor being slower due to his emotional state and he has a couple of small wounds still remaining from his fights that have yet to heal.

Of course the bats don't know where those wounds are from. All they know is that there's no way in hell Danny is leaving this manor with Vlad.

[that-one-weeb-but-starwars]

Must be this tall to Hunt| Boba Fett (tcw age so like 13/14)

Couldnt find a good teen boba gif, so heres bosk instead

Warnings: fake blame,

Reader: female

"You are expelled from the order-"

"What!?" Y/n shouted looking up at the council, "I did nothing! Master Plo! Reason with them!"

"I am sorry little one, I-"

Y/n was heart broken, looking up at the surrounding Jedi, this couldn't be true.

"Master Obi-Wan!" Y/n pleaded.

"Your attachments grow," Windu spoke, "and with them your anger."

"My anger?! My anger?!" Y/n shouted at him.

"Little one please." Plo pleaded, "I have brought a witness."

"You!?" Y/n argued, "Master I demand an answer! Why! Why would you- You out of all People!-"

She watched Anakin walk in guilt ridden on his face, "You!? Anakin! You!?"

He kept quiet as Fives walked in, her world stopping.

"Y-Your lieing!" She shouted, "Fives?! Not you! I trust you and you do this!?"

"Arc Trooper Fives." Windu spoke, " what have you seen Padawan Y/n do?"

Fives looked at her, "I. Saw Genral Y/n with a clone trooper,"

"Im with troopers everyday!" Y/n defended.

"What was Padawan Y/n doing with this clone trooper."

"...intercourse sir." Fives responded.

"Thats Obsurded Fives! And you know it!" Y/n argued, "You're my brothers- Why in gods name would I fuck any of you!"

"Y/n! That is enough!" Plo argued.

"You believe this crap!? You're suppose to have MY back!" Y/n demanded, "I'd have your back no matter what! And you turn on me!"

"Are there any other witnesses?" Fisto spoke.

"Yes." Windu spoke, "bring them in."

Y/n watched, her brothers, the wolf pack, Commandos and even some from the Corosaunt Gaurd walk in, and they strung there string of lies and they strung them high and low, entagled the lies beyond untanglement.

"Padawan L/n is to be expelled from the Order and that is our final verdict."

The platform she was on went downward, the clone troopers who had made there testimonies were gathered at the bottom, a path for her to go through.

"Y/n-" Wolfee spoke reaching out a hand.

"Don't you dare touch me!" She shouted in anger pushing past the clones.

"It had to be done." Commander Thron spoke quietly.

The others nodded.

"Damn it!" Fives shouted running out the room and rushing down the halls, after the light echoing of Y/n's angered footsteps.

She pushed the doors open and just walking out them she stopped, hearing Five's steps behind her.

"General. It had to be done-"

"What!? The lies! The string of lies you built! Why!? Why would you do this to me?!" Y/n argued looking back at the clone.

"We wanted to protect you-"

"Bullshit Fives! Bullshit! I love all of you! All of you!" Y/n shouted, screaming so loud it was sure to be heard all the way down to the lower level.

"Y/n listen!-' he grabbed her shoulders trying to plead with her but she pushed him away ingiting one side of her double sided saber as Fives quickly backed up.

"Touch me again and I'll kill you." She spoke.

"I don't even deserve death. I know- I-" Fives tried to explained, "We wanted to protect you-"

"Then you should of had my back!"

The bright blade turned off and she turned around leaving without a second thought.

"Hey! Wake up!" Boba argued.

Y/n turned her self around as she opened her eyes, "what do you want Fett."

"Rations idiot." He spoke as Y/n sat up, the girl only a year older than Bobba.

She was thrown a rations bar by the boy as they were in a hotel room, she had been sleeping on the couch.

"How much longer we waitin?" She asked taking a crunch out of the bar.

"An hour, I told you that the how much longer last time you woke up." He argued looking through the window.

Y/n kept quiet as she ate her food, it bland and bleak in both tast and color.

Bobba took an arm chair by the window as he ate his own rations. It was silent for a long mintue.

"Did. You have that nightmare again?" He asked.

Y/n looked over at him, "when do I not?"

Boba ate a peice of his own ration bar, he never knew what the nightmare was about, but knew it was the same one, on repeat.

He had the same.

"You, uh. Wanna talk about it?"

She looked his way, then looked away quickly, only able to see the faces of her brothers.

"No." She replied coldy tossing the barely eaten ration bar on the table, her appetite gone, "I'm gonna go scope the roof, don't wait up for me."

She walked towards the door, grabbing the sniper on the way out.

"I'll come with you. Incase someone tries to get you from behind."

"I don't need someone to have my back." Y/n argued.

"Well then Im coming because I want to!"

He pushed past Y/n as she scoffed, following him close behind as they walked towards the steps, somewhere along the way Y/n hacked into a vending Machine, Boba going up the stairs himself, stealing whatever she pleased putting it in her sling bag, enough for her only.

"Sharing is what?" Y/n questioned Woflee

"An opportunity for someoen to get there arm chopped off, it's my food." Wolfee told her.

Y/n sighed, how she hated her own little life lessons to her brothers, and stole more food, enough for both Boba and her, and a little extra.

Walking up the rest of the steps she made it to the door she kicked open with the bottom of her foot.

"Could you try and be quiet?" He seethed.

"I mean. I could. But no." Y/n responded walking towards the edge where Boba sat on a near by utiliy unit.

She sat down setting her back infront of her as she laid herself on her side her back to Boba the lights of the bright city below barely reaching the top of the tall hotel they sat on.

"You want one?"

Boba looked over seeing Y/n holding up a soda.

"Where did you get that?"

"Stole it."

Rolling his eyes he walked over to her snatching the bottle and sitting himself by her head.

"Hey hey. Fives calm your tits." Y/n laughed.

Boba stayed silent as he looked at her, she too busy looking out and onward, but feeling the stare she looked besides her.

"Oh." Y/n realized, "My bad Fett."

Boba stayed silent, as Y/n took a drink of her own soda, he had realized she had become more sympathetic with her apology.

"You wanna talk about it now?" Boba questioned.

Y/n sighed, answering in silence for a mintue, "My only family betrayed me. Strung a String of lies to supposedly keep me safe. I think about it all the time. We use to find these abaonded places and sit up on the roofs like this, we'd sing, start a bonfire, get drunk."

"Your as old as me." Fett argued.

Y/n shrugged, "war does that, you only live once Fett."

"Then why are you still worrying about it?" Boba defended.

"Why do you still worry about the things you worry about?" Y/n questioned, "but I was kicked out of my group, my name stripped of me, and instead of having my back, they had me cast out. Happy Now?"

It was silent again, the hearing of honking and swearving down below could be heard.

"I lost my dad to the Jedi."

Y/n stopped mid way lifting her drink to her lips but then contuined to drink then pull away.

"They tend to do that..." Y/n responded, "they expect you to follow every rule every word, there no better than the sith."

"You know alot of jedi and sith."

Y/n looked at him once, "It was when you father died did I stop really believing in the Jedi-"

"You knew my father?! You're a jedi-"

"Shut your trap and listen before you get rowdy you damn idiot!' Y/n argued Boba gritting his teeth, "I met Jango Fett when I went on a small assignment, my first one, with Master Shakk Ti- it was basically playing paper boy. I remember delivering work to your father...alot of people were mean to me, he. He never was, always said thank you, always asked me if I had eaten. He even watched me leave on the ship back to Master Plo Koon. So when I went througy reports and found him dead I was in shock, later to find out a Jedi did it. I started to loose faith. Why kill a man lookin out for him and his child, sure capture him- but taking family...I know how that feels and no one should go through it."

Y/n took a drink finishing her bottle and tossing it over edge, "so. I fought. And I fought and I fought. If i couldnt save Jango, I'd save what was left of him- the clones- my brothers. They share the same face but are diffrent than any could imagine. I spoke, I wrote, I pleaded, I trainned. It never was enough, and it was my 'emotion' that got the better of me. Pssh. Yeah right the Jedi can piss off because if they want to see emotion? I'll give it to them."

Boba listened, he had nevee seen Y/n before hand, maybe he had and just didnt remember, he never knew someone could share his pain. Neverless with the same person.

"Windu will pay." Boba seethed, "and your a jedi! You can help me."

"I will go head to head to him, I don't plant bombs." Y/n defended.

"We can take him! Two on one!" Boba tried to persuade, "you know his fighting style! I know guns! You know sabers! We take his head and anyone else that stands in our way!"

Y/n looked at him dully.

"Come on! How many bounty hunters have you single handedly taken on! And killed! How many sith have you injured! Jedi that chase after us! Without your laser swords! We can kill him! Together!" Boba explained standing up, Y/n move to sit up, "We're the left behind! We are the strongest! Because we were left behind! We round up a few others! Bane! Sing! Bosk! And there's always someone paying for a Jedi's head!"

Y/n stood up grabbing hee sniper rifle as she did and looked at her watch.

"It can be a sniper shot! A saber battle! Whatever you want! As long as he die and Im involed I don't care how!" Bobba argued.

Y/n looked down below aiming her sniper adjusting the scope.

"My father would do the same for you-"

He was cut off by a bullet shot and soon the sounds of crying folks who see a man just drop dead on the street, the target they had been waiting for dead. She pulled away from her weapon slowly, turning her head towards him.

"I'll do it.-" Y/n agreed

"No." Boba spoke, "We'll do it. Together. For everything the jedi took from us!"

Y/n looked at the outreached hand as she took it.

"Together."

"As One Unit."

"As One Unit." Y/n responded, "well one and a half"

"Im not that short." Boba argued.

"Shorter than me." Y/n chuckled.

[fandomsfeelsandfanfics]

inappropriate. sirius black x reader

summary. remus finds you and sirius in a...compromising position and decided to share his thoughts on the matter. but as it turns out, remus doesn’t have much room to talk. (an extension of trainee).

word count. just under 3k.

warning(s). suggestive (i.e. making out), age gap, language.

a/n. i really liked trainee and the dynamic of that one-shot so i decided to expand upon that. i think i might make a couple installments to this but we’ll see, let me know what y'all think. oh, and requests are open.

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   It had started out completely innocent. Or at least that’s what you told yourself as you made your way up the stairs to Sirius’ room. 

   The tea that you had in your hand precariously sloshed against the sides of the mugs, probably spilling more than a few drops on the floor. It was made just how Sirius liked it, more sugar and honey than there was tea. You’d have make sure to go back and clean up your mess later, but for now you could care less. 

   It had been a week since you’d last seen him. Well, you’d seen him. There was an emergency Order meeting and you both had been there, staring at each other from across the table without making it too obvious. Then there was that training session which Remus had sat in on. So yes, you’d seen him but you hadn’t gotten the chance to be near him or touch him.

   To run your hands through his hair or brush your lips along his jawline. So, by your standards you had not properly seen him and you had every intention of doing so.

   You knocked on his door, biting down on your lip slightly as you waited for his reply. 

   “Come in,” he shouted. 

   You opened the door smiling to yourself. He was sat on the couch at the far end of his room in front of the fireplace. He looked over his shoulder at you and returned your smile before bringing his attention back to the Daily Prophet he was reading. As you approached him, he held his hand out to take the tea. You snatched the paper from him, sitting down and draping your legs unceremoniously across his lap.    

   You pressed your back to the arm of the couch, flipping through the newspaper. Looking at him over the edge of the newspaper, you said, “All you do is read this crap.” 

   You tried not to notice the way his palms trailed up and down your calf. Tried not to notice how much you had missed his touch but that felt nearly impossible. And oh, he knew what he was doing, you could tell by the stupid smirk on his face. 

   “Well,” he replied casually, “when you can’t leave the house this is usually how you stay up to date on current events.” His shirt was only partially buttoned and you couldn’t shake the idea of tracing your fingers along his tattoos. You didn't want to stare but how could you not.

   Before you could look away, Sirius had already caught you looking. There was an endearing smile on his face that would’ve been cute if he wasn’t so damn cocky. You were about to make a sarcastic comment when Sirius grabbed your ankles and pulled you forward. 

   You landed next to him on the couch with a yelp. His hand was on your back, holding you steady. He leaned in to kiss you but you pushed him away.

   “Everyone’s downstairs.” Usually, Sirius would have cared. He was always very careful not to get caught, sometimes too careful. But it had been a week and he missed you and a few kisses wouldn’t hurt anyone.

   “We’ve got about ten minutes before anyone notices we’re gone.” He raised his eyebrow at you and—oh, what the hell.

   His mug and newspaper were quickly discarded on the coffee table. At least everything had started out innocent, but now you were sitting on Sirius’ lap with your lips pressed harshly against his. 

   So that’s why you didn’t hear the stairs creaking as someone walked up them or the floorboards outside the door doing the same. The house was impossibly old and managed to creak anytime anyone took a step, yet somehow neither you nor Sirius seemed to hear a sound. In that moment, the only thing you and Sirius were aware of was each other.

   It wasn’t until Remus opened the door that you were brought back to reality. “Sirius I wanted to—” His sentence died in his throat as he stood in the door slackjawed.  

   Sirius pushed you off his lap, you repositioned yourself at the end of the couch looking at everything but Remus. Sirius did his best to look composed. 

    And as if it would make Remus forget everything he had seen, Sirius crossed his arms and cleared his throat. “Yes, Remus.” 

   “Sirius, I...um...” His eyes wandered between the two of you with a mix of shock and horror. “I...I came up here to talk to you about a few things before the meeting but it seems I’ve interrupted something.” He blinked slowly as if he couldn’t fully process what he had seen. 

   “Sirius, what exactly have I interrupted?” 

   “Well, you see...” Sirius scrambled for some type of excuse. His eyes darted over to you hoping you’d be able to save him. But really there was no saving this situation. “Remus, just listen—”

   “No,” Remus interrupted, “Sirius, you listen. I don’t know what’s going on here but quite frankly it’s inappropriate.”

   Sirius’ eyebrow went up. “Inappropriate?” 

   “Yes, Sirius, inappropriate! She is significantly younger than you and...and...you’re her mentor Sirius! I mean Merlin’s beard that’s beyond inappropriate.” 

   “Remus, although I really don’t believe it’s any of your business, if you just calmed down and talked to us for a second—”

   “None of my business? Honestly, Sirius, at our age I would think you’d be responsible but I see some things never change.” 

   You looked over at Sirius who looked too angry to even speak. His jaw was set and he was sitting straight up in his seat like he was ready to get up and take a swing at Remus. You thought about reaching out to touch his arm but realized it was probably better if you didn’t. 

   “Remus, you seriously have no idea what you’re talking about,” you chimed in. 

   Remus chuckled as if you’d said the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard. “No, (Y/N), I don’t think you know what you’re talking about.” He gazed between you once more before shaking his head and turning to leave.

   He opened the door but before leaving he turned back to look at the two of you. “I won’t tell anyone, but I think it’s in everyone’s best interest if whatever is going on between you two ends.” 

   The only sound in the room was the door slamming behind him. You cautiously looked over at Sirius. He was slumped against the couch, his head turned up to the ceiling. He dragged his hands down his face then turned to look at you. 

   You exchanged a look wordlessly. There was really nothing either of you could think to say. He leaned over to you, putting his hand on your thigh and giving it a gentle squeeze. You put your hand over his and that was enough to make up for what you couldn’t say. 

   “You should probably, uh, get downstairs.” You leaned into him, pressing your foreheads together. 

   “Meeting doesn’t start for another half hour.” His hand left your thigh, reaching upward to caress your jaw. 

   “I know but it’s probably better if you just head down now.” He gave you a quick kiss on the cheek before standing up. You reached for his mug, he’d barely have any time to drink any of it and the rest would have to go down the drain. You sighed, looking over at him. He was busy finishing the buttons on his shirt.

   You walked to the door slowly, dreading having to face Remus, or anyone for that matter, after all of that. “Hey,” he called after you. You looked over your shoulder at him and he gave you a halfhearted smile. “We’ll talk later, yeah?” 

   “Yeah,” you replied. You gave him a smile that had just about as much conviction as his. 

   You left the room, closing the door behind you. Instantly, your smile dropped. 

   You walked down the stairs, waving off all the “hello”s from what seemed like an endless stream of redheaded children. You strolled into the kitchen hesitantly, already expecting an inevitable glare from Remus. 

   But Remus was nowhere to be found. The only people in the dining room besides yourself were Arthur, Molly, and Bill who seemed to be catching up. They didn’t even pay you any mind. 

   You ducked toward the kitchen, praying that Kreacher wasn’t in there because the last thing you needed was to deal with him today. You opened the door and nearly dropped the mug from shock. 

   Remus was leaning against the counter with Tonks pressed squarely against him. His arms were wrapped around her waist and it looked like they were making some attempt at swallowing each other. The kisses were sloppy and you had to say you were honestly surprised at Remus. 

   You retreated from the doorway as quietly as possible, closing the door slowly. You had to put your hand over your mouth to stop yourself from audibly laughing, because what a hilarious turn of events that was. 

   “(Y/N)?” You looked up at Molly who had a worried look plastered on her face. “Are you alright, dear?” 

   “Yeah...yeah, totally. I just—I remembered something I forgot to tell Sirius.” You sat the mug on the table before excusing yourself. You had to try your hardest not to literally sprint up the stairs because this was just too good.

   You threw the door open and made your way into the room. “Sirius,” you exclaimed. 

   You heard him hum from his bed. He was laying on the bed staring blankly up at the ceiling. “Sirius, I have something to tell you.” You crawled across the bed toward him, sitting back on your calves. 

   He tilted his head toward you. “I don't really think we should be in bed together after what happened earlier.” 

   “No, no, listen, you will not believe what I just saw.” 

   “(Y/N),” he said warily. You slapped his chest. 

   “Seriously, listen, you won’t believe this.” He sighed, rubbing his eyes before finally smiling up at you. 

   “Tell me, dear, what did you see?” 

   You decided on ignoring his sarcasm because after he heard what you had to tell him all of that would wash away. “I’m so glad you asked, Sirius. I went into the kitchen to put your mug in the sink only to realize the kitchen was currently being occupied by Remus and Tonks who had their tongues down each others throats.” 

   You tilted your head, anticipating his reaction. It took it a moment to fully set but when it did his mouth fell open and he sat up on his forearms. “No...” 

   You nodded at him, maybe a bit too overzealous. He sat up completely. “No way!” 

   “Yes way!” He hopped up from the bed, pacing back and forth. 

   “But...he was just saying...” He paused with his back to you. Quickly, he turned on heels. “Wait, wait, wait, weren’t you and Nymphadora in the same year at Hogwarts?” You nodded at him practically beaming at the irony. 

   “Oh, that little shit! What a hypocrite, he has some nerve telling me about responsible. At least I was in the comfort of my own bedroom, he was in the bloody kitchen just waiting for someone to walk in!” 

   He started laughing and you joined him because the situation really was just downright laughable. Sirius walked back over to you, gently weaving his fingers into your hair. He kissed your forehead, smiling gently against you. You reached up, wrapping your hand around his wrist.

   “So, what are you going to do about it,” you asked.

   “I think we ought to have a little conversation with Remus.” He smiled, leaning down to kiss you.

-

   It was almost painful sitting through the meeting. By the time, you and Sirius left the room the meeting was nearly started and, although, Sirius would have loved nothing more than to confront him in front of everyone you tugged him in the other direction before he got the chance. So instead you had to wait through the entire meeting. 

   The only thing keeping you making it bearable was the look on Sirius’ face. That overconfident smirk that assured you that Remus had definitely not heard the end of this. His hand drifted to your knee, squeezing it slightly. You looked over at him but he had his eyes trained on Remus, smirk wider than ever. 

   Remus wrapped up the meeting and everyone dispersed out of the room, leaving only a few stranglers including you, Sirius, and Remus. 

   Sirius looked over at you, trying to see if you were ready. You nodded quickly and both of you hopped up, walking down the length of the table together approaching Remus. 

   “Remus, a word?” He looked up at Sirius, raising an eyebrow. 

   “A word?” 

   You nodded at him. “Yes, a word. In private, please,” you replied. His gaze danced between the two of you not quite knowing who to look at. 

   “A word...sure.” 

   Sirius led the three of you into the kitchen, making sure to shut the door once you’d all entered and stand in front of it in case anyone happened to want to come in. “So, Remus,” Sirius began. He was smiling at him. “We’ve done some thinking about what you said to us earlier and the nature of our relationship.” 

   “Good. Look, I know this is hard but it’s for the best. I hate that I had to be the one to say it but it had to be said.” 

   “Well, thank God there are still good people like you in the world, right Remus,” you remarked. 

   “Yeah, we want to thank for that Remus.” Remus nodded. “But, since you know, we’re all going around saying things that need to be said: why were you kissing Nymphadora in my kitchen?” 

   Remus’ eyes widened. He sputtered, trying to find his words. “Sirius, (Y/N), you don’t understand—”

   “Oh, save it. I can’t believe the way you talked to us, you treated (Y/N) like she was a child. ‘Sirius, you’re irresponsible. Sirius, it’s inappropriate.’ Talk about bloody inappropriate, you’re kissing my cousin in my kitchen where anyone could see. I’d appreciate you not doing that, thanks!” 

   “Sirius, keep your voice down!” Remus ran a hand through his hair nervously. “I don’t know what to say.” 

   “Then I’ll keep going, yeah? Get off of your damn high horse. We’ve both found people that we care about very much who also care about us, that’s what matters. So, if you want to keep this self-righteous bullshit up, be my guest but I don’t need you telling me what’s in my best interest.” 

   Remus was too stunned for words. “I’m sorry,” he finally managed. 

   “Yeah, well, next time remember not to throw stones from a glass house, hm?” Sirius looked over at you, motioning you to come with him as he slipped out of the room. You looked at Remus over your shoulder, flashing him a quick smile before leaving. 

   You ran trying to catch up to Sirius. “That was awesome,” you giggled. 

   He smiled at you despite himself. “He deserved it after what he said.” You followed him up the stairs, waiting for the second you were finally alone. 

   The moment his bedroom door closed, your lips were attached to his. He inhaled sharply at the sudden nature of the movement but welcomed it nevertheless.  He pulled away slightly. “What’s that for?”

   You shrugged, moving out of his reach and heading for the couch. You picked up the Daily Prophet which had been discarded on the coffee table, stretching out across the couch. Sirius followed you, picking up your legs so he could sit before returning your legs to his lap. 

   He watched you flip through the paper, studying the ways your eyes roamed across the pages. Your eyelashes brushed gently against your cheek every time you blinked and Sirius took notice of it, because he noticed every little beautiful thing you did. And he tried in vain not to replay them in his mind constantly. 

    He ran his palm up your calf. “Do you...do you think there’s any, uh, merit to what Remus was saying earlier?” Your eyes darted up to his. “I just...there are always going to be people who think that, that this—what we’re doing, whatever that is, is wrong...” He trailed off, barely able to meet his eye. 

   You sighed, folding the paper in your lap. “Sirius, I think that Remus was projecting his insecurities onto you.” You crawled toward him, wrapping your hand around the back of his neck. “And as far as I’m concerned everyone else can go to hell.”

   He turned to you. “It’s not going to be easy,” he mumbled. 

   “Nothing’s ever easy, but I’m willing to try.” 

   Sirius almost laughed because, of course you were. You were just about as stubborn as a damn mule and it would take a lot more than Remus to scare you away. “Then to hell with everybody else.” He leaned forward to kiss you, throwing the Daily Prophet back on the coffee table where it belonged.

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a/n. i really wanna make more additions to the trainee universe. like not just one-shots but i wanna do headcanons and drabbles like idk. just let me know, requests are open.

[keanureevesisbae]

Mister Cavill, your dog is kinda fat - Chapter 18

Summary: Veterinarian Olivia Tran has zero time for bullshit. After becoming a mom at age twenty three, the one thing she wants is a good life for her daughter Vanessa. Her ex didn’t want anything to do with her nor the baby and she decided that man are officially banned out of her life. But then she meets Henry Cavill at her clinic and her ban slowly starts to crumble apart. Henry on the other hand is looking for one thing: a family. And when he meets Olivia Tran, he finds just that.

Henry Cavill x Olivia Tran (ofc)

Warnings: None

Wordcount: 1.7k

A/N: It’s a bit of a shorter chapter, but very important for the story 🤗Also, I’m writing a little something something for Chris Evans and if you are interested and want to, please check it out 🤗💕

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Being 25 weeks pregnant is no piece of cake and I forgot how much I dislike it, especially in this heat. I’m nothing but a sulking mess in front of the air conditioning. When I was pregnant with Vanessa, poor Belle didn’t know what hit her and every time I was in a grumpy mood (which was daily), she had to deal with that. Now Henry and Vanessa are in this together, but they somehow continue to be the sweetest. I have mad ass respect for them, because I know that I’m in no better mood than I was during my first pregnancy if not worse. This baby likes to play football with my bladder.

Today we are having an ultrasound that will determine the gender of the baby. We were supposed to find out three weeks ago, but since the power was out at the maternity clinic, we couldn’t use the ultrasound machine, only an old piece of crap, that did determine that the baby’s heart was okay.

Vanessa walks out of the kitchen with a big smile on her face. ‘Mommy, we have pancakes.’

‘That’s great, sweetheart,’ I say from the couch.

School starts in two weeks and though I love that girl with all my heart, I’m happy that she is going back to school again, so we can have a certain routine in place again. My maternity leave starts in a month and I can’t wait for that to start.

I try to get up from the couch, but I can only let out a huff. I mean, I could get up by myself, but it’ll cost me too much energy. ‘Sweetheart, could you get your dad for me, please?’

Vanessa chuckles, because she always likes it when her dad helps me out. He is setting an excellent example for her and I hope that it will be moments like these she’ll remember once she will date herself. ‘I will, wait here, mommy.’

She skips to the kitchen, while Kal places his head on my knee. ‘I know, baby,’ I say to him. ‘We have fifteen more weeks to go, until you have another baby sister.’

‘Does my lovely queen need a little help getting up?’ Henry asks, who walks into the living room with a big smile on his face. Ever since we found out I was pregnant, there was an instant switch in his behavior. He has always been sweet and thoughtful, but nowadays he shows what he has been doing the past months that I have known him, it was only twenty five percent of his love.

I can’t carry groceries anymore, I can’t clean up the house anymore, because of the chemicals and the hard work (something that you won’t hear me complain about and I really hope this continues after I give birth and years beyond) and he literally does anything I ask him to.

Around a week ago I was thinking out loud with Vanessa what kind of snack I wanted and he rushed to the kitchen to get it for me. When we are in bed, he cuddles up with me from behind and places his hand on my bump. Our bed is the only place where he doesn’t ask me permission for touching it, which on its own is adorable. Whenever we are out of the bedroom, meaning downstairs, at his parents, in the mall, you name it, he’ll hover his hand over my stomach, before he looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

Every single time.

He is so sweet and so loving and I can’t believe that I went from an asshole like Wesley to a lovely man like Henry.

I hold out my hands for Henry and he pulls me up, before pressing a kiss on my forehead. ‘My little grumpy lady,’ he chuckles.

I scoff. ‘I’m not grumpy,’ I retort.

‘You are, mommy.’ Vanessa grabs my hand and says: ‘But that’s okay. You are growing a baby in your belly.’

Vanessa has been nothing but understanding and I love her with my entire heart for it. However, though it’s true, I refuse to believe that I’m grumpy, because I feel like I was on my best behavior today. ‘When exactly was I grumpy?’

‘This morning,’ she answers. ‘You yelled at daddy for giving you tap water instead of the one from the bottle. You stomped your feet when you found out he ate the last cookie. You cried when you saw that he gave you the wrong socks.’

‘Oh,’ I mumble, already forgotten that I actually done all of that this morning. Oh poor Henry. ‘I have been mean to daddy quite a bit, haven’t I?’

She nods.

‘Have I been mean to you?’

Thankfully she shakes her head, though I feel like she only says that to spare my feelings.

‘Good,’ I chuckle. ‘Do you think I should apologize to dad?’

‘You should, but remember, he will always love you.’

That shouldn’t make you cry, Olivia, so please don’t do that! I look up to my handsome and loving boyfriend Henry and say: ‘I’m sorry.’

He starts to laugh, before he shakes his head. ‘That’s okay, my love. You can’t help it.’

We walk to the dining room and once we’re seated, we start to eat the pancakes and they are really good. ‘Are you guys ready for today?’ I ask them.

Vanessa starts to nod. ‘I am. I really want a sister.’

‘You do?’ Henry asks. ‘And when we find out it’s a boy, what are you going to do then?’

Though Henry pretends he doesn’t understand parenting and is in awe with how I raise Vanessa, he caught on so quickly, asking her those deep questions. He tells me that we should raise all our future kids just like this, causing me to reassure him that we are definitely doing that to an extent, because I have a feeling that I found the perfect parenting style for me. Again to an extent again.

‘I’ll love him no matter what,’ Vanessa answers. ‘It’s just that I get girls better.’ That’s so deep. ‘Boys in my class are dirty.’

I snort. ‘Boys are dirty, I totally agree.’

‘Excuse me?’ Henry says, with a raised eyebrow. ‘I’m a boy and am I dirty?’

‘I was going to add that all boys are dirty, except for the Cavill guys, had you let me finish.’

He smiles, holding my hand on the table. ‘That’s better.’

Vanessa scrunches up her nose. ‘I think uncle Piers is pretty dirty. His farts smell really bad.’

Now Henry can’t stop the laugh. ‘You are totally right, my sunshine.’ He looks from Vanessa, to me, back to Vanessa, back to me, all with a loving smile on his face.

‘Mommy, daddy’s been acting weird.’

I nod. ‘I know, he is probably thinking to himself how he got so lucky that he got not only me, but also you and also this baby.’

‘How did you know?’ Henry asks, honestly in shock.

‘I know everything. That comes with being a mom.’

Vanessa agrees. ‘My mommy knows everything.’

‘That’s not true,’ Henry retorts. ‘No one on earth knows everything.’

Vanessa takes a bite of her pancake, thinks about her answer and eventually says: ‘Well, my mommy knows a lot. More than you.’

‘Yeah, sweetheart, you tell him the facts now.’

Henry sighs deeply, before laughing. ‘Always teaming up against me. Let’s hope the new baby agrees with me more often.’

≫≫≪≪

Because I’m in desperate need for some love from Vanessa, I’m sitting in the back of the car and hold her hand. ‘Together with the terrible mood swings going to the grumpy part of my feelings, I also have been overly emotional. I cry while watching Winnie the Pooh, the drawings Vanessa makes, make me end up bawling like a baby and sometimes when Henry and I are in bed, I just start to sniffle, simply because he gives me a kiss.

I can’t wait for the pregnancy to be over and to hold our new little baby, hoping that the hormones will normalize a bit.

I look at Henry through the rearview mirror and I can’t hide my smile anymore. I’m so happy right now, it’s disgusting really. When I’m at his mom’s place, we talk about life and she says that though she loves her husband dearly and he was an angel throughout her pregnancies, it’s nothing compared to how Henry is with me.

When we arrived at the maternity clinic, Vanessa sits on Henry’s lap, as she looks around the waiting room. ‘Mommy, how are you feeling?’

‘I’m feeling good, sweetheart.’

‘Are you nervous?’ She resits on his laps and places her hands on my stomach. I hate it when people outside my family touch my stomach, it makes me want to punch then in de face, but when she does it, I feel so loved, I feel so beautiful. Vanessa makes sure that I’m happy and that I feel good about myself. She is an honest angel.

‘I’m not. I’m excited.’

‘Me too.’

We are the next to be called in and Vanessa is sitting on Henry’s knee, as I lay on the examination chair. I pull up my shirt and the doctor squirts some cold gel on my skin. ‘Are we ready to find out whether you get a baby sister or brother?’ I love how the doctor involves Vanessa in this exciting day.

We hear the baby’s heartbeat filling the room and I already get emotional, something that was inevitable, because hearting their heartbeat always makes me cry. I hold onto Henry’s hand and he clears his throat, before he kisses my fingers. ‘Okay, this is the baby’s head,’ the doctor explains, as she points to the screen. She continues to look at the baby and say: ‘This baby looks really strong, so that’s good.’

‘Is it a boy or girl?’ Vanessa asks with a smile.

‘Let’s take a good look at that, shall we?’ With a frown between her brows, she tries to get the best view and eventually she smiles. ‘Well congratulations, Cavill family,’ she says, ‘you are going to add a little girl to the mix.’

I just hope that they do work now, because Tumblr has been being a little bitch about this for quite some time! Please let me know if you have received a notification!

Taglist: @thelastsock​ // @flhorah​ // @sausagefest1996​ // @laufeysodinson​ // @xxxkatxo​ // @memoriesat30​ // @henrythickcavill​ // @crimsonrae​ // @henryobsessed // @madbaddic7ed​ // @summersong69​ // @lyrafraiser​ // @peakygroupie​ // @coldmuffinbanditshoe​ // @mary-ann84​ // @thereisa8ella​ //@crazyandanonymous4u // @xuxszx​ // @emmaofgreengabbles​ // @jimmypagesandbrianmayshair​ // @onlyhenrys // @omgkatinka​ // @oddsnendsfanfics​ // @speakerforthedead0 // @agniavateira // @gearhead66 // @chamomilebottom // @diegos-butt​

[goldenkookietae]

Trusfrated with Traffic | JJK

BTS One shots

Pairing: Husband!Jungkook x reader

Word count: 2,003 words

Warnings: Fluff, Subspace, Strong language

Summary:  You and Jungkook are stuck in traffic on the way home, and to pass the time, he sets up rules. You behave, and you get a kiss for every traffic light you see.

A/N: I sooooooo want to write a part 2 for this one. Should I make it a series? I just love Jungkook in a Husband AU. Also, I am beyond annoyed at those three extra words. Why couldn’t it just be 2k words?

Disclaimer: This story is an AU fanfiction that I have created using the names of the members of BTS. I do not claim any ownership over the members of BTS. The plot and the personalities of the characters are entirely my own.

Do not plagiarize my work and do not repost.

*

Moodboard

*I do not claim ownership over any of the pictures. They are credited to their original owners.

It was the end of another long week, and Jungkook was looking forward to a lazy weekend. His usual plans of partying and drinking to the point he would look at his dick and mistake it for a banana, went flying into thin air.

The number of meetings he had had to attend, given that the deadlines for two of his clients came in the same week had crossed the limits of his sanity. He would only be able to relax his shoulders that night when he had done two things, first, taken a long warm shower, and two, gotten his beauty sleep that went on way into the next afternoon. No kidding, it was twelve in the night and he still had a long way to reach home.

Home.

His wife.

His princess.

Jungkook sighed as he remembered their faces. It had been so long since he had spent time with them. The past few weeks had been so hectic, they had him spending all his weekends at office, only coming back after two in the night. He missed his wife, even though he hugged her to sleep and woke up to her kisses in the mornings.

They were hardly around each other to sit down and talk. He missed his daughter even more, where the only time he would see her was when he kissed her Goodbye and Goodnight, both of which times, his daughter was asleep.

Quickly dialing his wife's number, he put the phone on speaker. A few rings, and her tired voice greeted him from the other side.

"Kookie."

He smiled. She would always answer with the same, anytime, in the middle of a meeting or after a fight.

"My Bunny." He replied with a toothy grin, and he knew she could sense the smile on his face.

"Have you left office yet?" He asked, hoping she would tell him she was already home, playing with their little girl.

"I was planning to leave in five."

"Should I pick you up? I'm only ten minutes away from the place." Jungkook asked as he eyed the cylindrical building a little farther.

"Sure, I'll be right outside."

"See you there, love." Jungkook smiled as he cut the call and turned on light music.

Honking his way through, he reached the grey building his wife worked at, noticing her waiting at the gate, her hair fluttering in the night breeze. She noticed him soon enough and jogged over to where he had his car parked, a hint of a smile spreading on her lips.

Jungkook stared at her the entire time, as she got into the passenger seat next and turned to him.

"Hey." Y/N whispered, her cheeks tinted light pink, which Jungkook figured was because of the cold. She shivered a little, and he took in her off shoulder blouse exposing her bare skin to the cold.

"Hey." He whispered while shrugging out of his blazer and draping it around his woman's shoulder, tucking her hair behind her ear. It was something he did often, his habit of glancing at her side profile while driving was somehow an addiction. And he did not it like when her hair, no matter how much he loved it, blocked the view. And Jungkook knew that the pink intensifying on her cheeks had nothing to do with the cold outside.

His hands slid over her soft skin, caressing it with the back of his hand, another habit of his.

"Let's go." She whispered, placing her palm atop his and squeezing it.

Just as Jungkook drove back onto the main road, the clouds burst high above. What had just been a tiny drizzle ten minutes ago now turned into a full fledged downpour.

And they were stuck. Tired, sleepy, hungry, completely exhausted, in the rain, in the traffic.

"Oh god, it's going to take forever to reach home." Jungkook groaned, honking louder and continuously. It was of no use, since as far as he could see, the route was jammed with no hint of movement.

"I'll text mum and ask her to keep Sora for the night. I don't think we'd make it in time to pick her up." She muttered pulling out her phone and swiping through her contacts. Jungkook looked out the window, watching the traffic move slowly.

"Hey, mom says she can keep Sora for the weekend too. So we can have some 'quality time'. How does that sound to you?" Y/N asked hesitantly, as she knew just how much Jungkook needed Sora's giggles to start his morning.

She was surprised when he agreed. "I think that would be a good idea. It's been ages since I've had you all to myself. And we could always go get her back if we miss her." Jungkook admitted.

"Alrighty, Mister Husband." Y/N chuckled, shifting her eyes back to her phone.

"I am so hungry." Y/N whined a few minutes later, taking off her shoes and pulling up her legs onto the seat comfortably. His jacket was double her size, drowning her in cosy wool making her look smaller.

"Yeah so am I, I was in so many meetings today, I might be dreaming about numbers and graphs for an entire year." He sighed, and she chuckled.

"Aww, my poor baby, you work too hard." She leaned over and ran her hands through his hair massaging his roots, while Jungkook closed his eyes at the sensation. When she pulled back, Jungkook caught her hand, resting it on his hair once more.

"Don't stop. It feels nice."

She gave him a soft smile and continued carding her fingers through his hair. To add to the relief, the cars before him slowly moved forward, giving him hope that maybe this wouldn't be such a long night.

After about five minutes, they slowed down to a stop once more and Jungkook sighed, placing his hand on Y/N's.

"Your arms will hurt." He muttered bringing her hand down and planting a light kiss on her knuckles. He held her hand there, gradually resting it on his lap and squeezing it every so often. They stayed like that for a while, in comfortable silence, both too tired to maintain a conversation.

They stopped at a traffic light and Jungkook felt her mood change, her constant shifts to get into a comfortable position and continuous sighs. Her hands wiggled in his, until they reached down and her palm pressed over his zipper.

Jungkook jerked, his eyes opened wide and he shot up a good inch from his seat. Amused, he turned his eyes to Y/N, who gave him a sly smile. His jacket had slid down her shoulders, her soft skin now on display, making Jungkook gulp. He quickly reached over and pulled his jacket back up her shoulders, zipping it up for good measure.

"Don't do that, you'll catch a cold." He scolded, but wished nothing more than to see her skin again.

She huffed, and like a child, unzipped the jacket once more and threw the sides off her shoulders.

"Now is not the time Y/N. I'm driving. It's not safe." He chided, watching her pout and turn her head away from him.

"You're no fun." He heard her mutter adorably, in a smaller voice than her usual tone.

"Alright, let's make a deal. If you behave," he said, watching her slowly slip into sub space, "every time, we see a traffic light, I'll give you a special kiss. And when we get back home, you get an even better gift. Okay?"

"Okay."

"No, what do you say baby?" Jungkook frowned, looking at her seriously.

"Okay, daddy." She muttered, her eyes widening innocently. She slowly put down her legs and sat straight, like a nervous kid would on the first day of school. As though she wanted to prove herself, she pulled his jacket onto her shoulders and zipped it up as high as she could.

It was surprising to Jungkook that she had slipped into little space so suddenly. Having a baby seemed to have implied that there would be no age play for quite a while and maybe never too. Jungkook assumed that she had let go just for the weekend since her mother had offered to take care of Sora.

"Oh, look we're moving again." Y/N squealed and up ahead Jungkook could see the green light. Once they crossed, they stopped again, but this time Jungkook noticed that the rain was not as harsh as before.

"Daddy, kiss." Y/N mumbled, tapping her pouty lips with a finger.

"Of course, baby, you did so well." Jungkook praised, leaning forward and pressing his lips to her soft ones. When she remained unresponsive, Jungkook had to remind himself that Y/N had to be taught how to kiss in little space. Smiling, he parted their lips with a noisy smack.

"Thank you daddy." She smiled and Jungkook was once again surprised that she remembered. He was glad that he put much effort into setting the rules for her while in little space. He smiled in response and ruffled her hair playfully.

She had been beaming at him until he had messed up her hair. "Daddy, you're spoiling my hair. I don't look pretty no more." she pouted, smoothing out her hair as best as she could.

"You always look pretty baby, even with your hair standing up like this." He chuckled, lifting up a strand of her hair in a tease. Before she could whine again, he pat down her hair thoroughly and then cupped her cheeks.

"There, so pretty." He leaned down and pressed another kiss against her lips, and this time she put some pressure against his.

When he pulled back she giggled. "Daddy you broke the rules, no traffic light." she stuck her tongue out at him.

'Crap!', Jungkook thought. Breaking the rules was the last thing he should've done and now he may or may not have to deal with a disobedient Y/N later. He never liked punishing her. Looking ahead, he saw that they were approaching another traffic light and he made up his mind.

"See there, the kiss was for that one. We're still following the rules, baby." He told her, hoping to god that she would buy it.

"Oh, yes daddy, you always right." Y/N frowned and he breathed a sigh of relief.

The ride continued for another hour, and they came across four more traffic lights. Y/N constantly whined about how there was a lack of traffic lights on the way home, but thanking him none the less for each kiss. Jungkook barely managed to pull himself from their kiss right after crossing the light. His urge to break the rules and the bulge in his pants only grew bigger during the ride. All signs of his fatigue had simply vanished and he was eagerly waiting for the big gift he would give her when they got back home.

He heaved out a big sigh when he spotted the familiar outline of their building, quickly pulling into the garage and stepping out of the car with his bags. He mouthed, "One second" at Y/N before he walked to the passenger seat and pulled out her bags as well. He hurriedly reached over and opened the door for her, watching her step out carefully.

As soon as he unlocked the door to their home, he threw their bags on the sofa and turned to her.

"Do I get my big gift now, daddy?" she asked, giving him the most adorable smile.

"Yes baby, you've been such a good girl. Of course, you'll get a big gift." He cooed, cupping her cheeks and pressing his lips to them urgently. When she let out a soft moan, he could no longer hold back. He swooped her up into his arms, pulling away from her lips, while climbing up the stairs.

"Let's go to our bedroom so you can unwrap your present, right baby?" He nuzzled his nose against her cheek, inhaling her fragrance.

"Yes, daddy."

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[beelsbaby]

could you do the obey me undatables for the girl dad thing too please?😁

Of course! I hope you like it! I had a lot of fun writing it, I got carried away a lot WHOOPS but here ya go!

Undateables as girl dads

Solomon

* OKAY he wanted a son

* I don’t know he just gives me boy dad energy

* But you said no sir we having a girl

* I love that for you 😌

* But he didn’t get upset because he knew no matter what the gender was, his child would be powerful

* Insert "good for her" pic

* He reads books on how to be a dad

* How to be a dad for dummies LMAOO

* He makes sure to be fully prepared

* What a dork HA

* Her room probably has a lot of purples

* It’s very whimsical

* When she’s born, he instantly forgets about being the most powerful in the room

* All those pacts he’s made with demons mean nothing

* He is hopelessly devoted to her

* When she gets fussy, he just sprinkles a little magic and she’s giggling again

* She’s just so fascinated by it

* He loves carrying her around while doing mundane things

* He’d be reading a grimoire with her resting on his hip

* She said papa first and he was WEAK

* He did shed a tear or two but he’ll never tell

* He can put her down to sleep in record time

* He just makes up a story about magic and she’ll happily go to sleep

* She’s also very fascinated by his magical artifacts

* She’s constantly touching the ones he unsuccessfully tried to hide

* “Sweetheart, that’s papa’s, okay? That’s 380 years old... Let’s put that down, yeah?”

* Looks absolutely baffled when she’d take the artifact and BOLT

* “Y/N, why are you just standing there laughing, help me!”

* She is very sneaky and cheeky just like him

* She knows just to give her dad her cheeky little smile and he’s putty in her hands

* He’s so whipped

* But she’s also pretty sharp

* Solomon brags that she gets her intelligence from him

* Fool slept on the couch for that comment

* He has a ring with her initials on it

* She likes listening about sorcery

* “Papa papa! I want to have magic like you!”

* “One day, petal, one day”

* “Pinky pwomise?”

* He’d chuckle and intertwine his pinky with hers

* He spoke to soon because she started showing signs of sorcery at 6 years old

* He was so proud

* He taught her how to control it, how to maneuver it, and how to use it properly

* This definitely brought them closer together

* He’s just so happy to have her and she’s changed him to become a better person in just a few years, he loves her to infinity and beyond. He’ll protect her until his last breath 😭✋🏻

Simeon

* This angel was ELATED

* He thanked you endlessly like the true gentleman he is

* He didn’t care if it was a girl or a boy he was just happy to have a child with you

* When you tell him it’s a girl he immediately starts getting things ready for her

* Her room is so angelic

* The walls are painted like the sky

* It’s so beautiful

* The day she was born, he swears he finally understood what happily ever after meant

* He didn’t know if life could get any better, he was just so happy

* And she was GORGEOUS

* She looked exactly like him

* His beautiful skin tone, eyes, everything

* I’m crying at how pretty she is 😭

* He cried too, she was a literal angel

* He helped you out with everything

* He fed her, changed her, whatever you needed

* He sang her to sleep whenever she refused to sleep

* She’d stare at him with adoration

* He liked carrying her around, even if he was busy

* Multitasking king we love to see it

* Whenever he was caring her, she would grab his cheeks and babble at him

* His heart melted every single time

* Her first word was “up”

* She liked her dad picking her up and putting her on his shoulders

* So she asked him to pick her up

* He gladly did so with a huge smile

* She LOVES his wings

* She likes playing with Luke !!

* She also likes playing dress up with her dad

* She dresses up as a princess

* She has him dressing up like a knight

* He has to come save her from the dragon

* Luke is the dragon

* And He hates playing dress up lol

* She loves hearing all about angels

* And Simeon loves telling her about them

* When she’s five, she sprouts wings!

* She’s so happy

* “Look papa I’m just like you now!”

* He cries, she’s just so beautiful

* “Yes, angel, you’re like me!”

* He teaches her how to control and maneuver her wings

* She’s very clumsy at first, but he’s always there to catch her

* Simeon vows to always be there to catch her whenever she needed him, he loves her more than life itself 🥺❤️

Luke (aged up!!)

* This man passed tf out when you told him

* He was not ready for that bomb you just dropped

* But when he wakes up he asked you how you feel and if you know the gender

* When you both go to your appointment and you’re told it’s a girl, he starts freaking out

* What if he’s not a good dad?

* What if he can’t understand her?

* His mind is literally screaming WEE WOO WEE WOO

* But you assure him that he’s gonna do just fine and she’ll love him unconditionally

* He relaxes a bit

* Like 2%

* But he’s not hyperventilating anymore so you take it as a win

* He make sure her room is as comfortable as possible

* A lot of plushies and toys

* The room is such a vibe

* When she’s born, he passed out again

* Geez Luke get a grip

* You had two precious babies to look after

* But when he came to, he was in euphoria

* His baby girl was a beautiful mix of the both of you

* He was so smitten

* She’s very attached to him

* When she’s fussy he just picks her up and she settles down

* He carries around her diaper bag

* Mammon saw him once and now he never let’s him live it down

* Luke isn’t embarrassed, he’s just irritated because it’s Mammon

* Her first word was “daddy” and Luke felt his heart go BOOM 💥

* He picked her up and gave her a forehead kiss

* “Yes, little one, I’m daddy! Y/N she knows I’m her daddy she’s a genius!”

* You just smiled as he went on and on about how much of a genius y’all’s daughter was

* Proud dad™️

* He loves taking her to petting zoos, aquariums, etc

* Her eyes light up

* As she grows she gets more feisty lol

* Simeon loves comparing her feistiness to Luke’s

* But tbh it just makes Luke smug

* He loves that he has a headstrong daughter

* He knows she won’t take anyone’s crap

* When she was in the first grade, you guys got a call from the school one day

* She punched a classmate

* It was her first offense so the school just let her off of a warning

* But when Luke asked her why she did it, she said it’s because he was bullying her friend

* Prouder dad™️

* She makes him prouder every day and he’s so proud to call himself her dad, his entire heart is hers

Diavolo

* he’s been wanting to have a family with you for a long time

* So when you tell him you both are going to have a baby, he is so excited!

* He’s very doting the entire time

* When you told him it was a girl he’s was very happy and supportive

* It might have been ideal for him to have a boy but we know this man lives to break the status quo

* So he’s happy

* When she was born, Diavolo fell in love all over again

* She was just such a beautiful sight

* ALSO there was a two week celebration and the devildom

* Her room was EXPENSIVE

* He said really said no budget

* Gold things everywhere

* That’s his princess, he’d do anything for her even if it meant hurting his pockets

* Dang I need myself a Diavolo 🤪

* He carries her around in a baby carrier

* I LOVE TO SEE IT

* She said mama first but it was just with you so when she said dada you let him think it was her first word

* You don’t wanna break his heart lol

* His devilgram is basically now a stan account for his daughter

* If he really misses her, he will take her into meetings with him

* No one dares to argue with him

* She loves being on his shoulders, the view is superb

* First day of school he took her and the entire school went crazy

* She literally told him “ how far you have to leave everybody’s freaking out over you and I’m supposed to be the cool one here!”

* He laughed and kissed her goodbye

* She’s very sweet but pretty commanding

* Diavolo gushes on how she’s totally ready to be queen one day

* All name brands for his princess

* He definitely has had a portrait of her made. It’s probably in like the dining room or the main hallway

* She loves playing hide and seek

* Can you imagine big bad Diavolo running around trying to hide in a bush but he’s too tall lmaoo

* No one ever there is mess with her

* She’s only like five but she has the entire devildom standing behind her just like with her dad, I love how powerful they are. ADORABLE AND POWERFUL ??? Best daddy daughter duo in the devildom

Barbatos

* Poor baby is so nervous when you tell him

* But he want nothing more than to have a family with you

* He starts preparing everything for her arrival

* Baby proofing, preparing her room, anything he can do for her

* He make sure her room was adorable and fun

* It’s a pastel paradise

* When she’s born he’s holding your hand as you carry her

* You looked up to him and asked if he wanted to hold her

* He let out a barely audible “yes”

* When you handed her over to him, she opened her eyes and cooed up at him

* Rip Barbatos.exe stopped working

* #1 dad

* He changes diapers, he cleans up after her, takes care of her so you can get some rest

* What a gentleman 😪

* She said papa first

* He remembers the exact hour minute and second she said it LMAOO

* She’s very very shy

* But he’s helping work through her anxiety and walks her through her attacks

* Wow I’m crying 😭

* They love having little cute picnics together

* She LOVES his baking

* I mean who doesn’t

* She does very well in school

* Loves reading and history

* She really enjoys helping him out in his butler duties

* She even has a matching butler outfit that you got her

* The first time he saw her in it, bby boy couldn’t stop gushing about how cute they were

* They were the best butler duo

* N E WAY before I go on and on about them, he really loves her and you. He views her as the best thing that’s ever happened to him 🥰

[lets-imagine-fanfics]

Prompt:  "Why Me?" at a Destroyed Factory in a time when Time Travel was widely available with Arthur Morgan. [Arthur Morgan x Reader] [GN]

Words: 2.5k

A/N: This is an odd one but I like it :D, thanks for the request! I hope you all like it.

        ~~~~~~

With the alarm blaring by my bed, I roll over with a groan, just another day working at home in my PJs... and not seeing anyone... again—damn pandemic. As I was going about my day, I heard a knock at the door; curious about what or who it could be I, opened the door. 

There stood a man wearing suit pants with a pocket watch at my front door, a slightly brown shirt with the sleeves rolled up and braces. He carried only an envelope that he held close to his chest, it had browned with age, and the corners had had a beating it was that old. 

The man paused for a second, leaving me to stare at him while in my pyjamas - which I had just remembered. "Your name, it wouldn't be (y/n) (l/n) would it?" the man asked, curiously.

"It is, and what's your name?" I replied, not understanding why this man was here if he was a postman surely he would have just posted the letter. 

"I work for the post office," so he was a postman. "and I've been waiting to deliver this letter for the past 30 years, it is our oldest letter..."

"That's nice..." I say, not sure where this conversation was going or why it was even happening. 

"It's addressed to you," the man says as he hands over the letter "and it had been originally sent more than a century ago." 

"Is this some kind of joke?" I ask, unsure as to whether I want to take the letter or not, "A prank?"

"No!" The man insisted "No, I just wanted to deliver the letter personally, to see who it's addressed too. Good day, (y/n)" at this the man turns around and leaves, heading back to his rather fancy car. 

I watch him leave before I shut my door, looking at the envelope, it was indeed addressed to me, and it had pages and pages but on the very first page was a note, a single note. 

"Meet me here, at 04/01/2021 at 4 pm.

Coordinates: 53.4814195, -2.22865000000002"

I was curious for a moment, but as I scanned the next page of the letter and accidentally saw the last page, I instantly knew I had to do as the letter asked.

The letter said I could only read one page at a time; it was more like instructions and as much as wanted to read the next page, I followed the letter's instructions. 

~~~

 On my second train journey to get to the coordinates, I quickly looked up where they were leading me again, it was an abandoned factory. I suddenly fell into the rabbit hole researching the factory - there's an old ghost story were workers would disappear, there were even eye-witness accounts saying they would vanish into thin air. 

I read through the next page again; there was information that only I should know so I was still freaked out but the curiosity of why a person from over 100 hundred years ago, can know me so well. 

As I carry my backpack off the train, I follow the phone as it takes me down side streets through the town centre. The anticipation is KILLING me, so it feels like I have been walking around for an hour now. 

~~~

Eventually, I get to the abandoned factory, The road to it was surrounded by overgrown grass and trees that covered the sky, and there are several gates padlocked. I needed to climb over one of the fences with brickwork that had slightly crumbled down - just enough to get a leg up.

After rereading the next page, I take a quick look around, I've read that they don't even have a guard here, but the house down the street sometimes would ring the police if they spotted anyone trespassing - but if you went down the side further into the trees they can't see you. 

When I got to the inside of the building, I followed this letter that the postman had given me, 

"Second Floor, East Wing, Room 204"

I head in there, and I can feel the energy off of something that I couldn't see anything- in fact, I could barely see anything anyways the room was so dark, soot on the walls from cent, I walked closer into the room. 

~~~

"I wouldn't move any closer if I were you."

I freeze, heart racing, I didn't think anyone else was in here, I certainly couldn't see anyone else. 

All of a sudden, a match was lit, showing me dark eyes under a 'Ten-Gallon' hat as the stranger lit a cigar. 

"I... I didn't think anyone else was here" I say honestly. "Just me and my friends" I lie. 

"It's okay, friend, I ain't gonna hurt you," said the stranger, he spoke as if he was from an old western. 

'friend?' I think as I squint through the dark to get a better look.

"You address me like you know me, do I know you?" I ask, unsure whether I want to keep talking to the stranger stood in the dark, abandoned warehouse - No, I do not.

"No, but I know you." The stranger replied. 

"Is that so, well, I'm just gonna find my friends, I'll be back in a sec" I lie again, finding a polite excuse to leave. 

"You don't need to lie to me. You haven't read the next page of the letter yet have you?" the strange cowboy said more than asked. 

"You...How... You know about the letter?" 

The stranger walked closer, walking into a patch of sunlight, I could see them more clearly. They wore a scruffy beard, a blue shirt and... gun, they had a gun, 'god I hope it's a prop' I thought, maybe I had walked onto a film set. 

"You should really read the next page of the letter." They could sense my hesitation to take my attention away from the stranger. "It's okay. I'm going to stay here where you can see me."

~~~

I read the next page, which told me to read the page after too, this page explained that the stranger in front of me was a man named Arthur Morgan. A man who was not going to hurt me told me I should trust him since he is a friend, a good friend that I just hadn't had the opportunity to get to know yet. 

As I read the pages, I kept looking up to make sure the man-Arthur kept his promise; he did, he was watching me as if he had seen me read this letter a million times before.

"As I said, I'm not going to hurt you" Arthur spoke up. 

"Yeah, I know... I just read it." I felt like I wasn't really here. 

"Yeah, that pesky letter. I bet ya have a couple a questions?"

"A couple? Yeah, more than enough" I replied, getting frustrated. "Why do I have this letter? Who Sent it? Why did it lead me here? And not that I'm judging but why are you dressed like a cowboy? And plea---se tell me that's not a real gun" I realise my voice had gotten louder and louder. This letter I had received had been weird from the start, but now it was too much. 

Arthur chuckles, and I oddly find comfort in it but at the same time get more annoyed. "Okay 1) It is crucial that you got this letter and that's all I can say on that, other than..." Arthur contemplates his words. "it's gonna help some people, maybe even save some." Pause. "2) ain't gonna tell you tha', just tha' it's from a good friend, is all. 4 and 5) Because I am, and it is, is that a problem, darlin'?" Arthur says with a smirk as if he had won in some way. 

"You missed 3" I reply smugly, "You missed question 3" I repeated, completely ignoring his comment. 

"I was saving the best 'till last is all," He said with a roll of his eyes. 

'the cheek of this man' I think as Arthur walks closer to the window, wiping dust and soot off of it, just enough for us to see in the room. He finishes and walks towards me, as he does, he gestures to the centre of the room. 

"You can feel it, can't you? like a pull and a push all are the same time." Arthur asks.  I can only nod, wanting to hear the explanation, Arthur continues, "It's a time..." He paused "oh what did they say it was again?" This time, speaking more to himself than me. "A time rift, it's a time rift." 

"Okay... and what does that mean, exactly?" I ask, trying to understand. 

"Listen, I don't know this crap okay, they just told me what to say, beyond that I have no idea. It basically means that... that time is weakest here."

"Meaning... what?" 

"Meaning... Well, meaning we can go to one time and then to another... Not very frequently though, It can take a lot outa ya."

Suddenly we heard the gate outside creek open, scraping against the concrete. Arthur quickly grabbed you and dragged you to the closest wall, both of you ducking down underneath the window. 

The police officers were chatting outside and weren't going to be there for a few more minutes; the letter explained that I should have enough time - if I did everything correctly and listened to Arthur, that pesky neighbour must have seen Arthur at the window before. 

~~~

"What do we do" I whispered to Arthur, panicking slightly. 

"It's okay, darlin', we hav'ta go through the time rift" Arthur whispered back. 

"Why?"

"To get away from the coppas, to help the.. the people, like I said"

"I mean, why me? if you need to help people maybe get a doctor or nurse."

"It has to be you, okay and I can't explain why just yet, only with time will you understand, okay."

"Will I be able to come back if I go into the time rift thing, will I be able to come back?"

"Darlin', you won't ever wanna come back," Arthur said smugly despite the circumstances.

"Arthur," I said in a rather fed up voice.

"Okay, yes, you can come back... if you wanted to."

"And people need help?" 

"Not just people, erm, ma friends, my team - if you will, even me." 

I looked at him for a moment; I believed him wholeheartedly for some reason. 

"I'll help you," I said in whisperer as I heard the police officers enter the building. "What do I do?"

"Well, you gotta think of the date and the place that you are going too, I brought a photograph with me." He said as he pulled out the picture, "You can keep that, jus' give it back to me later. So you gotta think of this place on this date and walk into it... It's that simple."

"Okay, come on then," you say as start walking toward the centre of the room, closer to the rift. 

"Sorry Darlin', I'm not going to the same place as you."

"What, but you... you said I am going to help you, how am I supposed to do that if you aren't there" I argued. 

"I'm gonna be there, just a few years younger, more arrogant and much more dashing." The police started walking through the second floor, having cleared the first floor. "You gotta go now; I'll be seeing ya, don't worry. Now go"

I stare at the cowboy again, he seemed sincere, and he was. He did mean it when he said that I could come back if I wanted, and I visited my family once a year for a month or so, but the wild west has been more home from this day forward. 

He was also right about being more arrogant too. 

~~~

As I landed on the firm grassy hillside, feeling as if every atom had been broken and put back together, I cautiously stood up. Turning around, I hear muttering from just over the hilltop. 

I looked over the hill; you saw a giant campsite for at least 20 people; it was like a small town. 

"Looks like we got a nosy one," A familiar voice said from behind me "what's your name darlin'... and why are you dressed so.. Unique like."

I turned around recognising Arthur Morgan as he sat atop his horse, a hide on the back. "Erm, hi" I reply as I realise this Arthur doesn't know me. "it's a long story, but if you're willing to listen and maybe read this..." I say as I show the letter that went on for pages and pages. 

Arthur slowly warmed up to me; he didn't read past this page that I had yet to read myself; he was respectful of that at least. 

Arthur spoke to his friend and gang leader 'Van Der Linde' about let me stay, "They'll be my responsibility." was all Arthur had said, with a nod and a grunt his friend walked off before following with...

"Get 'em some clothes, they look ridiculous." 

~~~

Arthur was rather sweet to me, he showed me how to hunt and gather food - also how to cook it, just wait for the stew it is rather good. 

I helped Arthur redeem himself and his name - which took a lot of work, but it was worth it. 

As I said, Arthur took me in, and we grew close, years later we settled down on a farm and lived an honest life which we're both happy with.

After about a decade together we realised it was time... We had to send me/my younger self through the Time Rift. We travelled day and night for a week in order to reach the old factory, which at this point was just a few years old and bustling with people. 

We snuck in through the back exit and said we are health inspectors on a new programme, here to check the disappearances. As soon the factory was being built, people started to go missing - no one had ever been that tall before, and so no one had managed to go through the rift before. 

They let us in instantly and even walked us up to the rift, we were left alone for a moment as I said goodbye, he would be back I wasn't sure when, and he would see a me that didn't trust him, that didn't even know him. 

After he went through the rift, I headed back to our home, where I hoped beyond hope he would make his way back home - he does.

So as I write this letter to you, hoping that you won't cheat and flick through the pages as time travel can be a tricky subject - I know you read the last bit of the last page.

I am you, from your future and I need your help. 

[mythgirlimagines]

This week, I have a brand-new talentswap MAID especially for you! If you couldn’t tell by the pun in the first sentence, this Myth is the Former Ultimate Maid!

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BACKSTORY AND TALENT

Originally living with her sisters at an orphanage, Myth watched as both of sisters got picked up by loving families, while poor Myth was left in the dust. In order to make herself more desirable to prospective parents, Myth taught herself how to cook and clean after all of the other kids in the orphanage. Eventually though, much to her joy, she was eventually was picked up by a wealthy family that eventually ditched her, despite being great at her maid duties. Eventually, after going through many wealthy families and being tossed out/abused/ignored, without a second thought, one family managed to keep her: a warm and loving family with an artistic prodigy for a daughter. For once, Myth felt the love and affection that she was starved for, after all of those years of isolation and being tossed out like common trash. All of those skills accumulated from both helping out at the orphanage and being raised as a maid for all of these wealthy families, earned her the Hope’s Peak title of Ultimate Maid. 

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RELATIONSHIPS

Wyre Anon, Former Ultimate Artist

Born into an influential family of artistic geniuses, with their father being a master sculptor and their mother being a expert sketch artist, Wyre mainly specializes in the craft of both their parents, even though they are a master in practically every art form their parents can throw at them. When Wyre heard from their parents that someone was going to be adopted into their family, Wyre was ecstatic at the idea, and Myth quickly proved themself as a great servant and sister figure. Myth regularly serves food and cleans up after Wyre, when they gets particularly busy. Every since Wyre heard about Myth’s past with all of the other families, they claim that they are willing to fight all of them, much to the protests of Myth. 

Outfit: A brown paint-colored apron over a black sweater and matching pants and shoes, a tool belt with sculpting supplies, black fingerless gloves, glasses from original design.

Anon Scar, Ultimate Detective

Despite Scar’s eccentric behavior and constant talk of possessing an “All-Seeing Eye” under her eyepatch (which was actually lost in a battle between her and a particularly violent criminal), none of Scar’s clients can deny that she is a very competent detective, in spite of both that and her age. Her detective duties can get very stressful at times, but it seems Myth has a psychic connection to Scar’s distress, for she would always be there with whatever can calm Scar down. This has caused Scar to feel both intrigued (in regards to the possible existence of psychics) and concerned for Myth’s health and well-being (because of Myth‘s constant overexertion and overworking).

Outfit: A black and purple eyepatch on her left eye, a black jacket slung over her shoulders Yasuhiro-style, a black vest over a white dress shirt, black pants and black thigh high heels.

Fusion Anon, Ultimate Astronaut

Ever since he was little and went stargazing with his grandparents, Fusion has always showed an interest in reaching the stars and traveling beyond the boundaries. Having aced both the physical and written exams at NASA, despite his age, Fusion is well on his way to becoming a full-blown astronaut. Fusion also trains younger children who are planning on becoming astronauts just like him, via lectures on astronomy and little physical exercises to build up endurance, and he brought his astronaut-training seminars to the Kibo-Con. Myth regularly assists him in his seminars, and in return, Myth gets glow-in-the-dark star-shaped stickers and freeze-dried “astronaut grub” from Fusion. 

Outfit: A blue galaxy printed jumpsuit over a red t-shirt with a yellow star on the front, black and dark grey gloves and matching boots, glasses from original design.

FU-510-N Mk. 2 (aka. Fusion Anon II), Ultimate Robot 

FU-510-N Mk. 2 (or Fusion II as she’d like to be called) was a robot created by NASA, in order to both assist Fusion in his seminars and accompany him on his future space expeditions. Created to entertain adults as well as children during the lectures and training, Fusion II was written with more of a sarcastic edge to her dialogue with Fusion, making her a bit more of a straight man to Fusion’s cheerful and pun-loving funny man, almost like Fusion’s rebellious teen daughter. Fusion II bonded with Myth quickly over their shared statuses of being “assistants“ to others. But much to Fusion II’s dismay, it doesn’t seem like Myth is able to pick up on her sarcasm at all.

Outfit: A white exoskeleton, pink and black joints,  and four small black wheels underneath her “skirt”, clothes from original design.

Just Anon, Ultimate Anthropologist 

Running away from home, because of his massively rich, influential, and incredibly strict parents, with nothing but a backpack and his wits, Janon eventually found the one thing that actually interested him, while on his trek across the world: people and their cultures, which attracted him to the field of anthropology. After writing all about his travels and the philosophies he learned in a couple of journals he eventually published for the masses, Janon was revered as a genius in the field of anthropology. Despite planning on taking this secret to the grave, Janon has a secret soft spot for Myth, for she reminds her of the poor maids being crapped on by his influential family.

Outfit: A black facemask, a black overcoat over a pink t-shirt, a skull necklace, brown pants, black boots, a big brown backpack.

Sparkle Anon, Former Ultimate Entomologist

Specializing in lepidoptery and coleopterology, Sparkle intends on showing people all about the beauty of insects, in the most flamboyant and over-dramatic ways possible. Despite these idiosyncrasies, she is a respected figure by entomologists and aspiring entomologists everywhere. While Myth loves admiring the odd butterfly as much as the next person, Sparkle attracts insects like sugar water, and they are all a nightmare to remove and exterminate. The whole insect issue isn’t helped by the fact that Sparkle loudly and explicitly refuses to let Myth get rid of any of her “precious jewels”. Luckily, Sparkle shared some non-pesticide related methods to herd her insects, in case they get wild.

Outfit: A cape that resembles monarch butterfly wings with shoulder pads that look like rhino beetles, a green insect carrier,  a brown skirt with darker brown ant patterns, the glasses, jacket, undershirt, leggings, and boots from her original design.

Egg Anon, Former Ultimate Child Caregiver, and Wet Sock Anon, Former Ultimate Aikido Master

With a childish, immature and cursed yet caring personality, Egg was a massive hit amongst the children of the orphanage that they and their twin Wet Sock were born and raised in. In order to protect the children that their twin cared for, the brooding and cynical Wet Sock decided to pick up aikido and self-defense skills, dominating bigger foes in all the tournaments they entered. Shouldering the burden of hearing the twin’s primary defense mechanism (read: cursed comments), Myth quickly bonded with Egg, thanks to their shared interest in caring for others. Myth tried to bond with Wet Sock, but because of them being tsundere, Myth only gets judo thrown in response.

Egg’s Outfit: Part of their hair tied up with a yellow scrunchie, a green hoodie with yellow sleeves, a fanny pack colored like their original shirt, black shorts, long yellow socks, green light-up-shoes, glasses from original design.

Wet Sock’s Outfit: Same outfit from the original, but with black aikido pants and matching sandals.

Curious Anon, Jr. Ultimate Supreme Leader/Assassin

With the dubious and odd title of “Jr. Ultimate Supreme Leader” and an enigmatic and stone-faced personality, almost nothing is known about this mysterious Jr. Ultimate, not even what their talent entails. What Myth and the majority of the media don’t know, is that Curious is that his title is actually the Jr. Ultimate Assassin and is current throneholder of a secret underground religious cult that is particularly known for brainwashing and teaching their children how to assassinate potential religious rivals. Luckily, Myth was fortunate enough to not cross paths frequently with Curious, for she would definitely try to adopt the preteen assassin with a messed-up upbringing, if she ever catches wind of the truth.

Outfit: A simple white robe with a green sash indicating leadership that hides their assassination weapons.

Anon Nerd, Former Ultimate Inventor

Being a mechanical genius born in a country that was ravished by a massive war, Nerd was quickly sent to work in manufacturing and inventing brand-new weapons for his nation’s army. This past has given him a hair-trigger temper and a hatred for being interrupted, when he is in the middle of inventing. And yet no matter how many scouter-burns she suffers in the process, she never remembers that little tidbit of information about, when she comes barging into Nerd’s lab with his dinner, much to the rage of the easily-enraged inventing prodigy. But beneath the foul mouth and even-fouler temper, could Nerd have fallen for Myth’s kind and earnest attitude, despite being very annoying?

Outfit: Black armor that covers everything apart from his head, and the scouter from his original design.

Eldritch Anon, Ultimate Pianist

Videos of a person garbed entirely in black and playing self-composed pieces have been springing up on the internet for the past year or so, and despite the mysterious person attempting to make absolutely sure that he wasn’t found, Hope‘s Peak found the true identity of the online piano prodigy: Eldritch Anon, a former piano champion, who has since retreated to the shadows in growing anxiety and fear. Whenever Eldritch thinks about anything he wants or needs, Myth would always be right behind him with his want or need in tow. Because of that, Eldritch now wears a tinfoil hat on his head at all times, to prevent Myth’s psychic powers from reaching him, to no avail. 

Outfit: A black marching band outfit with white music note buttons, over a grey hood-up hoodie patterned with black sheet music, white gloves, tall black boots.

Dream Anon, Ultimate Magician

With infectious childlike cheer and unstoppable charisma on stage, Dream’s magical performances are truly a sight to behold, whether you’re a child or an adult. Dream has recently employed Myth as her magical assistant, and Myth regularly roped Dream out of trouble, just in case her magical performances go awry. But at the same time, Dream also took on sort of a mentor role to the maid. While Myth has entertained several guests with some minor parlor tricks, Myth would love to learn all about how Dream accomplishes all of her large-scale and stupendous, and how Myth can learn them herself. If Myth learns from the best, she would be able to entertain way more guests.

Outfit: A black and pink top hat, a black coat and white gloves over a pink vest, an orange bow tie and a white dress shirt, a pink skirt, grey stockings, and black tap shoes.

Iris Anon, Jr. Ultimate Cosplayer

Having been a regular consumer of fiction ever since she was little, she picked up sewing and fashion design from her parents and eventually began making accurate-to-the-show cosplay items, ranging from simple accessories to full-blown outfits. Despite being really clumsy when it comes to everything else, Iris is amazing at handicrafts. Myth and Iris consider each other “sewing buddies”, for their shared interests in sewing outfits and other such handicrafts. Iris regularly lets Myth model her cosplay, for they are about the same height and have the same proportions. Iris would be lying if she said she hadn’t tried sticking cat ears or dragon horns on Myth when she wasn’t looking. 

Outfit: Hair down with a heart barrette on each side of her head, a pink jacket with sewing supplies in her pockets and on her sleeves over a seira fuku with a red ribbon and a blue skirt, black stockings and red Mary Janes.

Purple Anon, Ultimate Adventurer

As the daughter of two famous and affluent ambassadors, Purple has been to practically every corner of the globe. Because of her travels, Purple regularly talks in archaic terms mixed with the insertion of gratuitous foreign vocabulary into her sentences, which means that the majority of the Anons can‘t understand a word coming out of her mouth. Purple is also stunningly timid for the daughter of two ambassadors, and often hides behind Anons that are bigger than her for when she doesn’t want to be seen by the crowds. Even if Myth can’t understand much of what comes out of Purple’s mouth, Myth still loves seeing Purple slowly but surely come out of her shell and talk about her travels.

Outfit: The beret from her original design, a dark purple overcoat and brown gloves over the sweater from her original design, lighter purple pants, brown boots, a brown carrier bag.

This AU will center around the maid getting helped for once, much to her protests.

——————————————————-

PERSONALITY

Despite her less-than-stellar past, Maid!Myth has a cheery and energetic attitude that belies (and bolsters) her sheer aptitude as a maid and her joy is described as “infectious” amongst Wyre’s family. With definite “mom energy”, Maid!Myth always comes prepared with the wants and needs for each and everyone of the Kibo-Con attendees, and seems to have an almost telepathic ability to whatever they all want, which unnerves a couple of the Anons (namely Eldritch, Scar, and Purple). Even though she overworks herself to a fault and everyone constantly tells to take a break from her work, she constantly shoulders every burden and duty placed upon her, in hopes that they won’t abandon her, just like every other family before Wyre’s family. This gave her a case of “chronic hero syndrome”.

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APPEARANCE

Maid!Myth’s naturally brown hair is tied in a prim and proper bun, complete with a white and light pink French-maid style headdress. As for the rest of her clothing, Myth wears a white and light pink French Maid dress with the only exception to the “white and light pink style” being a ribbon around her waist with a pink-to-purple-blue gradient, purple socks and red Mary Janes.

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I hope you like this AU! Let me know what you think of the AU and its roles in your reblogs!

[bellamyblake]

I love your thoughts on stuff especially when you post funny things or metas. I was wondering if you had any toughts on Bellamy's love choices apart from Clarke?

aw, thank you, that’s so sweet! i think im horrible at meta, my brain just won’t order my thoughts the right way.

it’s funny you’re asking me that cause the other day when i was rewatching the scene with mel, bellamy, murphy, finn, monroe and sterling i remembered kimsh*um saying how mel was supposed to be a love interest for bellamy but the actress wasn’t available if i remember correctly.

and that made me think about his love interestest apart from clarke and gina who we saw briefly.

now i think gina would’ve been great to see in terms of bellamy because they met i believe, in our headcanon land, while he was trying to kind of drown his sorrows in the arkadia bar where we see her serving later on briefly, again in season 3 and though i know it wasn’t a deep relationship, it wasn’t a bad one.

 it was one produced out of the circumstances that probably (though we know nothing about her) they both felt like shit but kind of found something within each other that they liked/perhaps enjoyed. maybe gina was a good listener, maybe she let him pour his heart out about all of the mount weather horrors.

maybe, and i am reaching here, but she was the only one who knew about all of it-his torture coming in the mountain, his responsibility for his people and the guilt for those they killed inside. maybe bellamy even shared some stuff of his childhood with her because gina seems like the kind of person who is a good and understanding listener and she wouldn’t offer judgement but she’d get him, you know?

i think that’s why i loved gina out of them all (apart from clarke, like we’re putting bellarke aside in this whole debate) because she was a good kind yet smart and persistent person-a nice match for a hurt, confused guilt-ridden bellamy who felt all alone after season 2 and who had all this anger and helplessness inside him. we can see her worry about his leg after he went out to look for clarke and she worries sending him out there beyond arkadian walls-

basically something i’ve always wished for, for bellamy-someone to give a crap for him ( i exclude e/xho s7 narrative cause it makes zero sense and we didn’t see it in any depth)

so apart from gina we have what? e/cho right? and what makes it interesting for me here when our favorite racist kimsh*m talked about mel possibly being a love interest for bell is that i feel like they wanted to instill this...idea for a bellamy love interest where he falls in love for someone that he ultimately-

saves.

maybe that is also the case with clarke too but it was never explored as we know because they refused to for a variety of reasons, the last one being out of spite, the previous being c/lexa-we’re speaking honestly here and that’s how it was.

so they wanted bellamy to fall for someone he *saves*

which i don’t think is a good like treatment of his character at all. i believe jroth in his stupid brain makes sense from the fact that because bellamy always took care of octavia, his entire life, those were the circumstaces he grew up in, then it’s only logically (and psychologically, yes it is), that he falls for someone that he *saves*, like he saved his sister and raised her from a baby to a grown adult.

so mel was someone he saved and she would’ve been a nice fill was she of age (not sure she was) and was the actress available.

but then came ta/sya and her nepotism, aka her being on the show cause she has connections to jroth and since bellamy so perfectly saved her from the cages in season 2 suddenly mel was easily replaced with-

e/cho. 

of course they played around it for a bit and i assume they didn’t do it before season 5 for two big reasons-

one was that bob who frankly was absolutely right in that, didn’t want a love interest in season 1, didn’t want bellarke to happen in season 1 and thank god IT didn’t cause it would’ve been absolultely nothing left of it by season 3, and the other was 

e/chos betrayal which needed time to simmer into a forgivness and what better way than trapping them on a ring in space for 6 years, right? who would you pair him with other than-oh well it could’ve been raven which frankly, much better choice or it could be e/cho which again-

first to spite the fandom (and i believe we played a big role in jason choosing her and not raven because he saw how panicked we were in season 4 about it especially after 4x13 all everyone talked about was how yep it’d be becco in season 5 and he just said ha-ILL SPITE YOU YOU STUPID FANGIRLS you don’t want it-HA BUT YOU GOT IT and I am sure to this day had we talked more about not wanting bellamy and raven the more we would’ve gotten that instead of becco)

and second cause again of nepotism-here’s this actress who can absolutely not act and has zero chemistry with the main lead-yep, only seems logical we put her as his love interest.

and mind you I wanna reiterate here that bob has chemistry with everyone else including male actors like richard and chuku way more than he ever did with ta/sya so jroth’s logic here that oh yeah beliza were always kind of maybe in love that’s why that worked-LACKS and is beyond offensive

so yes, i believe the idea was always to portray his love interest as a continuation of the cirmustances of his childhood-so he falls in love with someone who he saves like he saved his sister, that being mel (that fell through) and eggo and...ultimately also clarke though with her is much more complicated but think about that

how many more times had he saved her than she him? right?

when is he the saved one?

if we count season 2 when clarke supposedly lets the bomb drop on TonDC to save him though again-grey area, she mostly listens to L/exa who doesn’t want her people to turn on her and then you have season 7 when again Eggo supposedly goes on this journey for him and ends up killing people but not because OF bellamy but because she simply has been hiding the beast inside her for six years and she cannot keep it at bay anymore.

so apart from gina and ...well debatable here but clarke too, he’s never had a love interest that he didn’t save. also we don’t know how exactly he did come by to know gina-did he know her from before? did he maybe save her too? did he just randomly started talking to her?

so that is it on this particular subject and whilst it may be psychologically correct if there is such a term i find it too weak of an excuse for a character like bellamy because when he loves he loves dearly and it is clear that yes he carries the big baggage that is octavia but i dont believe that should attach to his love life and his romance. 

[effieduan]

Dragon Pool Parties || SOLO

TIMING: July 22, 2006 - when Effie was 12-years-old.

LOCATION: The Duan’s old house in Portland.

PARTIES: @effieduan & a neighbor.

SUMMARY: All Scottish castles have dragons, and Effie is lonely.

CONTENT: brief mentions of heart attack. 12 year olds being 12 year olds.

Screams of laughter and splashing could be heard from over the tall fence. Effie sat on her on the back porch, facing away from the fence and her back pressed up against the railing. Her gloves - today a bright blue, like the sky - lay across her lap and her new lego set sat in front of her, only half-heartedly started.

Grandma was in town. Her mom’s mother, which meant she couldn’t spend all her time in her basement and had to go out and get ‘fresh air’ while her sisters, mom, and dad went to the pool party next door. Apparently, it wasn’t healthy for a 12-year-old to spend all their time in the basement tinkering with the ‘computer junk’, and she needed hobbies and interests beyond that.

That’s how the lego thing happened, and if she didn’t get this stupid castle built or at least substantially off the ground by the time Grandma tomorrow afternoon, she was going to be in trouble for being ‘ungrateful’ or ‘having a bad attitude’.

Effie heard a scream from over the fence, followed by a loud splash and laughter. She glanced over her shoulder, but couldn’t see anything over the tall fence. Technically, she had been invited to the pool party too, but she obviously couldn’t go. Effie didn’t remember what excuse her parents had used this time, but she hoped it wasn’t chickenpox again. It took ages for the Dugan boys to stop bawk-bawking at her every time she took a walk.

Grandma was supposed to be watching her play with her lego set - to spend time with her little darling granddaughter since “hardly got the chance”, but had wandered over to get some fun pictures of Ellie, Emme, Ed, and Eva in their new swimsuits. Her sister’s got new swimsuits and she got the lego set -- Effie still wondered what the hell her parents told Grandma to get her to go along with the gloves, and the homeschooling and whatever else. Her father had just gingerly patted her on the head and said “Don’t worry about it, we have it all taken care of.”

Effie ran her fingers along the smooth lego piece as she examined the problem in front of her. It wasn’t that she didn’t like the lego sets - or, well, okay, she didn’t despise them like she did the stupid easy-bake-oven Grandma had tried the last time. It was just the pieces were so small and all of them were the same color. This was a castle, sure, but did all the pieces have to be grey?!

“Is that an English or a Scottish castle?”

Effie jumped, disturbing the little board she had so the pieces didn’t fall in between the cracks in the porch. There was a pop somewhere in the house that told Effie she would have to reset the breaker again -- fine, she’d do it later. But she was more preoccupied with the boy that wandered over from the party on the other side of the fence. He had dirt on his nose, held a soccer ball, and wore a power rangers shirt with black swim trunks.  Effie gaped as the boy peered at the lego box she propped up as a reference

“Who the hell are you?!”

The boy took his gaze from the box to her, scandalized. “You can’t say hell,” he said.

“I can so!”

The boy looked like he hadn’t thought of that. “Oh.” He stared at her. “I’m Michael.” He went back to looking at the picture of what her lego castle was supposed to look like. She realized he was a kid from across the street - not one of the Dugan boys, but he was always playing soccer on the front lawn with his brothers.

Nervously, Effie put the lego piece back on the corkboard and quickly went to put her gloves back on. “I’m Effie,” she said. “I don’t know if that’s a Scottish Castle or an English Castle, I don’t know what the difference is.”

“There are differences,” the boy said, looking at her knowingly. She believed him but had no idea what he was talking about. “You don’t look like you have the chickenpox.”

Effie bit back a groan. “I don’t.”

“That’s what your mom said you had. That’s why you aren’t swimming with everyone else.”

“Yeah,” Effie said, giving a non-committal shrug. She couldn’t correct herself and saying she did have chickenpox actually because that would be a lie - she couldn’t do that.  She could figure out some fancy wording as her dad taught her, but she wasn’t exactly keen on the neighborhood children thinking she had chickenpox again.

“Are you sick or something?” The question was blunt enough to make her stop thinking about hawking prepubescent boys.

“What?”

“Sick,” Michael said again. “Is that why you don’t go to school or come to parties or anything?”

Effie didn’t answer, and looked back at her lego set, reaching out for one of the larger pieces so she could keep her hands busy. It was harder with the thick rubber gloves around her fingers - it would be a nightmare trying to complete it with her gloves on.

“It’s just better like this,” Effie said, realizing that Michael hadn’t moved from the spot. More splashing and screaming from over the fence caught his attention.

“Why?” he asked, though he was craning his head to see if he could get a glimpse over the fence.

Annoyance crept into her. Why did he even come over here to bother her? “Can you go away?”

Michael looked back at her, surprised. “Why?” he asked. “You’re not contagious, are you?”

“No, I’m just trying to do my lego set.”

“You’re doing a bad job. You haven’t even started on the watchtowers, and you put the wrong pieces in for the draw bridge.”

Effie’s gaze snapped back to the set in front of her. “I did not!” Except there was a large possibility that they did. They all looked the same and were the same color. Whose bright idea was that? She frowned.

“You want to use the A-3467 parts, not those. I think my cousin has that set.”

Effie blinked, looking between Michael and the set. He was looking back over the fence again as someone turned the music up. Justin Timberlake grew louder. “Oh… So then is it a Scottish or an English castle?” Effie said.

Michael finally looked back at the box and looked like he was thinking very hard. Her dad would have joked that he could see the steam coming out of his ears. “English,” he decided, finally.

“Why?”

“Because it doesn’t have a dragon.”

Effie stared at him. “What?

“It doesn’t have a dragon. All Scottish castles have dragons.”

Effie didn’t know enough about English and Scottish castles to say otherwise, but she was pretty sure that wasn’t correct. Dragons didn’t exist… Right? She couldn’t say anything else though, because a bunch of boys was bellowing Michael’s name.

“Crap - I was supposed to get the ball,” Michael said, holding up the soccer ball. “See ya Effie, hope you’re not contagious for much longer!”

He was gone as fast as he came, running down the side of the house shouting to his friends, leaving Effie there alone with her lego set of a decidedly English castle.

She couldn’t explain why she started to cry, but she did. Something ached in her as she heard the party and the splashing and everything else on the other side of the fence. Effie wanted to play too. She wanted a new swimsuit and friends to yell at her because she took too long retrieving the soccer ball. No one should be able to stop her from having that. Effie could go march upstairs and dig through Emme’s dresser -- they were almost the same size, or so Emme said whenever she ‘borrowed’ her sweatshirts. She had tons of swimsuits. She could go. She should go.

Effie had half risen out of her little corner on the deck, wiping her eyes on her sleeve, when she realized what would happen if she waltzed over there ready to join in the fun. She couldn’t go swimming, but inevitably, she would be thrown in the pool and everyone in there would get electrocuted while she crash-coursed herself on learning to float.

Her neighbor with his eyes rolling back into his head as he fell, clutching his chest. The screaming from his wife and her mother’s iron grip around her shoulder as she pulled her into the house. What did you do? Everyone would know it was her this time.

Effie winced, and she sat back down, glowering at the lego set and the gloves that were still on her hands. She remembered the relief when her father put them on her. It was enough then to know that she wouldn’t kill anyone by shaking their hand. Effie checked three times to make sure she was still alone before she took off her gloves. She called it being thorough but knew she was just hoping Michael or some other kid would come back and talk to her.

A few minutes later, she was fiddling with the stupid directions again, trying to figure out how the drawbridge was actually supposed to look and trying not to think about how much more she wanted. Enough was all she needed, and she had better get used to it if she didn’t want a bigger body count. 

Now, if only she could find a dragon somewhere... 

[yixxes]

Anger Management | p.p.

Warnings: Cursing, altercation w a stranger, y/n has a bit of an attitude/anger problem

Word count: 1722

A/N: The reader is Bucky’s younger sister which is like not possible but it’s fine. Enjoy (: 

.

.

“Oh, go fucking fuck yourself!” 

“Hey!” Bucky gave you the look he always gave you when you stepped out of line and you rolled your eyes. You weren’t in the mood to be scolded but your brother obviously didn’t care. “Watch your mouth! The hell’s wrong with you?”

You spared him a two second scowl when he approached the couch, his curious frown trading in for realization and then quickly switching to disappointment. “Seriously? This is your problem?” 

Your brows furrowed and your lips jutted out in an annoyed grimace. “This game is stupid, he’s been cheating for the past eight rounds!”

Sam raised his hands with an amused smile on his face that you found beyond annoying. “Hey, I didn’t do anything, but look, I’ll apologize: I’m sorry you picked up the controller before you knew you couldn’t play.”

“Here,” your brother shoved you over and sat in your place before you could enlighten Sam with your colorful vocab and snatched up the controller from your hands. “let me kick his ass for you.”

Sam cackled at Bucky’s confidence and readied up another round. “Yeah, let’s see how far you get with that one.”

“I was playing with that.” You grumbled. 

“You’ll live.” 

You watched how your brother tapped different buttons and chose certain patterns and inwardly noted how it contrasted to your inarticulate button mashing. It always worked when you played with Steve, why would it not work with...

Crap.

Of course Steve let you win! “That bastard!”

“Y/n,” Bucky warned you firmly and you hated how he kept the button pattern going even when he took his eyes off the screen to stare you down. “seriously, watch your mouth. Who are you even talking about?”

“Come on, kid, I’ll apologize for real if that’s what you want.” 

“Not you,” you muttered to Sam. “Steve, he lets me win at this stupid game.” You turned to look at Steve who was on the other side of the couch, smiling guiltily at you.

“You’ll live.” Your brother said again, distracted. “Why don’t you go to the store, we need snacks.”

“Then go get them.”

Bucky paused the game with a sigh and turned to you after setting the controller down on the table. He fished his wallet out of his pocket and pulled out a few bills that he extended to you before nodding towards the hall that led to the door. Buck wasn’t asking and you weren’t trying him any further. 

“Ugh.” You snatched the money and got up from the couch, but you weren’t clear to go yet.

“Stay away from people and don’t go fighting with strangers again.”

What a gross assumption. “That was literally only two ti-”

“Don’t worry, I’ll go with her.” Peter came up and threw an arm around you. Your sisterly attitude towards your brother melted into a smile and butterflies. 

“Good, hey, make sure she doesn’t speed.”

“Got it!” He called over his shoulder, already making his way to the door with your hand in his.

.

“I don’t get it.” 

Peter frowned and got to explaining the joke to you. “Because the ham sandwich is ordering the beer, but the bartender says-”

You pushed a loaf of bread off of the shelf and let it fall into the basket. “Why would a ham sandwich be ordering anything, it’s a ham sandwich-”

“It’s a joke,” he said pointedly. His attitude at the fact that you didn’t laugh at his joke was funnier than the joke itself. “Why are you laughing? Do you get it now?”

“Yup. ‘s really funny, baby, will you grab the coffee grounds, I’m gonna go get a bag of chips,” 

“Okay, wait for me by the chips, I’ll meet you there.” 

You nodded and leaned up and forward to kiss his puckered lips and then went off towards the chip aisle with the cart. As much as you were opposed to this shopping trip at first, you really enjoyed doing stuff like this with Peter. Anywhere else, there were eyes on you at all times. With the two of you being the babies of the group and Bucky picking up the overprotective trait that older brothers usually had, your privacy and alone time with Peter typically ranged from scarce to nonexistent. Going on little snack runs with him where you could hold hands and kiss without scrutiny was nice. It even made you think about how maybe sometime down the line you and Peter would have a shared place of your own and trips like these would occur much more frequently and that definitely made you smile.

Your smile was short lived, though, when some man stopped his cart right in the way of yours and decided that right then and there was a perfect opportunity to take a look at his phone. 

Breathe in through your nose, Bucky always instructed, and out through your mouth. It could’ve been an honest mistake. Maybe he didn’t see you there, you thought to yourself. So, with a polite but rigid smile, you spoke out to him. “’Scuse me, sir, I’m trying to get through.”

He turned to you with an annoyed expression, phone still in hand. He didn’t even look sorry. “And I’m trying to send a text. Some of you damn teenagers were never taught manners a day in your life.”

Manners!? You went over your words in your head and came up with zero reason why some middle aged prick was choosing to yank your chain like this. Your anger was already begging to be let out but you were trying hard to remember how condescending everybody had been back at the tower. They didn’t think you could make it back without blowing up on someone and you planned on proving them wrong.

“Your cart is in my way.” You returned firmly. 

“And your patience is just that thin, isn’t it?”

You stared at that man for a few painful seconds. Was he trying to fuck with you? For all of the time that he wasted being a dick without cause, he could’ve moved his cart and been done with you. Paranoia struck and you took a glance around the immediate area. Maybe the guys were here, lurking around to see how long you could hold out, but after a look around you realized how ridiculous that thought was. The guys weren’t here and this wasn’t a test. This guy was a douche and you were letting it slide but you weren’t sure you should’ve been. 

“Can you just move your freakin’ cart?” The ‘before I move it for you’ was as silent as the g in lasagna. What was he? 6′1, 6′2? You’d debunked and corrected taller, this would be a breeze. 

You quickly shook that thought from your head. You weren’t fighting this grown man. 

“Just go around!” He practically shouted.

“Go around where!? You’re blocking the-”

He yanked the front of you cart forward, pulled his back and pushed it into a display of croissants. “You’re welcome.” He said smugly. “Now will you please leave me alone?”

You blinked at the gaping empty space where your cart used to be and then looked up at him. To absolute hell with proving the guys wrong.

“Hey! I got the coffee grounds, did you grab the-”

“Screw you!” You screamed, reaching in his basket and grabbing the first thing that you laid your hand on and throwing it as far as you could. 

“What the hell!?”

Peter swooped in after you had already thrown a second thing out of the stranger’s cart and started pulling you away from the scene.

“You need to learn a thing or two about respect, little girl!” The guy was yelling after you, red in the face, stupid phone still in his stupid hand and the other in a fist on his hip. 

“Fuck off!” You screamed back, swiping a bag of cotton candy from an end stand, ready to chuck it at that man.

“Hey, hey,” Peter smacked a bag of cotton candy from your hand and continued lugging you away. “take a breath, take a breath. Let me handle this-”

“What’s going on here?” Naturally, the security guard stepped in at the perfect time. You looked like the crazy one, but in fact, it was the douchey middle aged man that started it and you were more than happy to explain that to security.

.

"Can I have a retake?” 

So you had to get your pictures taken by security. You single-handedly landed yourself and Peter on this ridiculous list of people that couldn’t return to the store without adult supervision which was absolutely ridiculous. Even more ridiculous, the man told you that you couldn’t retake your picture.

“Fine.” You didn’t plan on coming back to this hot mess of a store anyways. 

Starting the car, you were more than happy to be in the safety of your vehicle, but you remembered that the two of you came out for a reason... and you left without a single one of those reasons. 

You ended up driving to another store that was just up the street and got back to the tower about an hour and a half after you left it.

“Where’d you go for the snacks, Australia?” 

You rolled your eyes at Sam’s sarcastic comment and set the one bag that Peter let you carry down on the table. While Peter set the rest down, you walked passed Tony (whose smile was far too big for your liking) and sat down on the couch. 

“How’d it go?” he asked.

Peter lied like a rug. “Good. We got a bargain on the coffee grounds, two for-”

“I got us banned from the store unless we have adult supervision.” You were dejected. This never would’ve happened had you just let that man be stupid by himself. 

Bucky hit pause on the game and looked over at you like he was beyond ready to scold you. “You what?” 

“Ten.” Peter finished like he hadn’t even stopped. “There was a coupon that we actually found on the floor, luckily it wasn’t expired-”

“Kid, will you be quiet!?” Bucky’s mean mug could scare almost anybody into silence. You watched your boyfriend shrink into himself before your brother turned back to you. “This explanation better be good.”

[tsuki-sennin]

Mina-san, bonne lecture~! (Tsuki recaps his feelings about Kamen Rider Saber, a personal essay.)

So, Saber... what a wild ride it's been, huh? Just a quick heads up, this is very long and rambling, and also contains spoilers for everything in Saber. It's fine if you don't wanna read all this, but I just wanted to get my thoughts out there.

TL:DR, Kamen Rider Saber's an undercooked hot mess I absolutely adore, warts and all.

Speaking as objectively as possible, it's a 6/10. Probably closer to a 5 than a 7... it's not great: All the different plot elements are cluttered and weirdly paced; character focus is disjointed and clearly biased toward certain characters, leaving great ones like Kento and Ogami, interesting ones like Kamijo and Hayato, and underdeveloped ones like Sophia and especially the Shindais in the dust; not to mention its balance of comedy and drama is off, and while both are very effective, there's a lot of mood whiplash that can take you out of the story. I also feel like a lot of the easily avoidable character conflict could've been easily resolved, even in universe, by simple conversations. Be careful Fukuda, I think Inoue might sue you if he finds out you've been biting his style and doing it worse.

Rider shows have a very frustrating tendency to drop cool form ideas and not do anything with them, and I don't think it's ever been more the case than with Saber. There's a similar argument to be made with the majority of Heisei Phase 2 after Gaim, but wow. The suits are expensive to make without just straight up recycling everything, I get that, but man, I really wanted to see more Wonder Rider forms. How come Touma got all the fun, eh? Of note are the Blades King of Arthur forms (which look amazing by the way), Espada's Jaaku Dragon forms (one of which I even drew last night), even the non-elemental random Wonder Ride Books all have awesome design elements that go tragically unused. Even if the other Swordsmen just kinda have the ones they do get to use slapped onto them, that's at least something. Touma also just straight up only uses Diago Speedy twice and never again. You have cool props guys, don't waste them like that!

Speaking of waste, Espada, goddamn. Since most of the Wonder Ride Books are Story Type and he needs one very specific Story Book to transform, he doesn't get much of... anything, really! No Wonder Rider forms like Blades, Lamp Do Cerberus being exclusive to Ganbarizing, only getting to use the Ride Gatriker like once, he even spends the second and third arcs as a completely different Rider, then once he comes back he doesn't get a King of Arthur-granted upgrade or even a Necrom Espada form. ...at least, not yet anyway. I'm holding out hope for Espada x Necrom and the eventual Saber V-Cinemas. Extra Rider stans, we will be well respected someday.

The Unreal Engine CGI used for fights in early Chapters was pretty good but wow it feels disconnected and they really drop it quick. I feel like if the animators had more freedom to use as many forms as they want, we'd have gotten a lot more mileage out of the books beyond... decoration basically. I actually really liked the CGI sequences, they felt creative and were fun to follow along with.

The soundtrack is pretty great on its own and conveys what it needs to, but they seriously overplay the orchestral themes. It honestly feels kind of... stock at times. I think my favorite parts of the score are when it winds down, since it feels a lot more natural and lets the cinematographers and actors speak for themselves.

As awesome as I think Falchion's design and the Mumeiken Kyomu are, The Phoenix Swordsman and the Book of Ruin comes up short as its own standalone thing. You'd think 30 or so minutes of non-stop action would be awesome, and it almost is? It's as good as a typical episode of the series with a higher action budget, but it kinda drags on a bit too long; and although I think Emotional Dragon looks cool, it feels a bit tacked on. Coming off of the incredible Zero-One REAL×TIME, it doesn't give you much room to breathe, which Rider films are typically great at handling. I also thought the resolution for the kid's subplot was kinda forced. He does an okay job at acting considering his age and doesn't overstay his welcome, but I really don't see how 20 minutes of violence and action is enough to convince him to be brave enough to go play with the other kids. 5/10, it's closer to a 4 than a 6 and I think that maybe Zero-One should've stood on its own if they really had to push back Kiramager Bee-Bop Dream because of the pandemic.

Alright, with all that said... As imperfect and undercooked Saber was, like Ghost I can consider it a personal favorite, 10/10. Call it a guilty pleasure if you want, but holy hell it's just the show I needed. Takuro Fukuda has a talent for creating fun, wonderful characters and utterly fascinating worldbuilding and concepts. It's a shame he doesn't utilize them fully, but hey!

The action and fight choreography are pretty top notch as usual. Lots of beautiful shot composition and set pieces, and plenty of great angles to help keep up with the extra busy action. I love watching the suit actors perform and they deserve all the respect in the world for their hard work in those hot, sweaty, and heavy costumes. Their visual design is also top notch, with lots of unique and fascinating forms and cool weapons I desperately want to play with despite being broke, all with spectacular finishers and hype jingles with the voice of Akio motherfucking Ohtsuka calling them out. A real feast for the eyes. Not a single bad suit among them, yeah I said it, fight me.

The crossover specials are soooo good too.

-I went over my feelings on the Zenkaiger crossover episodes in a separate post (good luck finding that btw), but to sum it up, they were great character moments for Zox and the Shindai siblings with lots of great screwball comedy and some good old fashioned meta humor.

-The Ghost crossovers are great little side stories all about how Daitenku Temple somehow had the Ghost Ijunroku Wonder Ride Book? I genuinely have no idea why it was there, or how Makoto had the Specter Gekikou Senki, and as far as I remember neither of their origins are explained. Did Luna or Tassel hand them off to them and told them to wait for a sword guy? And why do these generic French Revolution Gamma villains working for Danton get their asses handed to them so easily by Kanon, who literally just became a Rider? I thought that Makoto deciding to adopt all the Kanon clones into his family was both hilarious and adorable though; considering all the crap they went through, I think it was a good ending to this plot. Gimme Espada x Necrom already Toei/Bandai/Fukuda/whoever I need to yell at, give Kento things to do, I beg you.

-I haven't actually seen Super Hero Senki since it's not available for subbing yet, but apparently there's a Journey to the West plot starring the Taros and Ohma Zi-O and I want to see that so badly.

Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra? Yoohei Kawakami? A match made in heaven, that's what they are. All of their themes are absolute bangers. All of them. Almighty, Kamen Rider Saber, Sparks, Taju Rokou, all excellent and empowering pieces. Rewrite the Story, Will Save Us, and The Story Never Ends are all amazing inserts done by the cast, and it makes me wish we had even more of them to help break up the monotony of the score.

The characters are what easily make this show such a great watch though. For the most part, they have great personalities and chemistry, consistently fun and interesting scenes, well acted and... sometimes well-written development, and deeply investing personal stakes.

Narrating it all is the delightfully eccentric Tassel/Viktor, portrayed by Romanesque Ishitobi "TOBI" of the Paris-based Les Romanesques. I was utterly confused by his presence at first, wondering why there needed to be a narrator when the story would've been perfectly fine without it. He even got a special spot in the opening despite having no stake in the plot despite seeming to live in Wonderworld, who the hell is this guy? But then I thought "OH MY GOD, HE'S THE MAIN VILLAIN USING TOUMA AS THE HERO IN HIS OWN TWISTED STORY, THE BASTARD". I thought it'd be some subversion of expectations, true form, "That Was His Mistake!" shit. Trust me, it made a lot more sense in my head. I'm very happy that they didn't do that, as I grew to love having male Yuuka Kazami as my narrator, and when he was shown to be actually important by being friends with Yuri my mind was blown. And doubly so when I realized just how deeply necessary to the plot he really is.

Rintaro/Blades is up there as one of my all time favorite secondary Riders, since his curiosity is always consistently funny and adorable, his forms are all gorgeous and impressively designed, his relationships with Mei and Touma are absolutely sweet and compelling to see unfold, and his arcs about becoming willing to call out those he views as family and coming to terms with his feelings of inadequacy and both moving past and using them to strengthen himself are always great lessons to pass on to kids. ...even if they took like 10 goddamn episodes to be conveyed in what could've been 5, but hey, Takaya Yamaguchi does a stand-up job all throughout. Rider veteran Eitoku's refined, almost logical movements with the Suiseiken Nagare absolutely beautiful to see in action, and his final form having the same white and blue color scheme as Zooous's base form is an amazing touch I don't see appreciated enough.

Mei Sudo's also absolutely wonderful, serving as the perfect emotional core of the story, responsible for most of the funniest lines, sweetest character moments, and some of the most deceptively compelling drama. Asuka Kawazu brings the perfect energy for such a dynamic and well rounded character, and absolutely nails her scenes of quiet turmoil. As much as I would've loved her to become a Rider, I don't think she really needed to. She's already done so much to help, and as cool as it would've been to see her pick up a sword and fight alongside them as Espada, Calibur, or Falchion she's already endeared herself to me as one of my favorite supporting characters in the whole franchise.

I can't get enough of my homeboy Kento Fukamiya/Espada. Like Rintaro and everyone else for that matter, he also suffers from Saber's pacing issues; and like his predecessor Valkyrie from Zero-One, he doesn't get a proper upgrade aside from his Wonder Combo, instead becoming an anti-villain using a completely different powerset and shifting the Raimeiken Ikazuchi out of focus for the Ankokuken Kurayami, and I feel there's a serious missed opportunity to see him use Jaaku Dragon with Alangina. However, Ryo Aoki's performance is probably among the most easily praiseworthy in the whole cast, managing to convey both Kento's kind and knightly stoicism as Espada and his emotionally unstable despair as Calibur perfectly, in conjunction with Yuji Nakata's experienced and expressive stuntwork.

Ren Akamichi/Kenzan's a dark horse favorite for sure. I remember back when Saber was first picking up, people hated this breezy mad lad for being such a simple character at first. Overly concerned with strength? Black and white world view? Annoyingly energetic? Agh, real-feeling character flaws, I hate them, get him away from me! But then y'all came crawling back. Eiji Togashi's apparently a bit of a rookie actor, and it really shows with some stilted delivery and the way he sometimes bobs his head when giving his lines, but man he improves dramatically as the series goes on. His inexperience ironically ends up really selling his character development, and his unexpectedly beautiful relationship with Desast is special evidence of that. The Fuusouken Hayate's three modes and Satoshi Fujita putting them to excellent use through his stellar acrobatic movements are also really cool.

Why did Luna have to be a child for so long? Does Wonderworld not age whoever inherits its power? Well since Luna randomly becomes an adult in Super Hero Senki and some of the final episodes, I guess so? Miku Okamoto does a fine job for a kid actor, but she's basically done all the heavy lifting for the whole series and doesn't give Mayuu Yokota enough time to get a feel for her character as an adult. How did she choose Touma to inherit the power anyway? Does she just subconsciously decide to trust him with it upon seeing how kind and passionate about storytelling he is? Well if that's the case, why didn't Kento get at least some of that power too? He's just as important to the merchan- I mean Luna-chan, isn't he? Why did Tassel pick her over someone who isn't a literal child who'd be understandably terrified about basically becoming an embodiment of storytelling?

Sophia also kinda suffers from the same problems. Rina Chinen's voice is very pleasant to listen to, but she doesn't really do much beyond serving as a source of exposition and support. I think her dynamic with Mei's adorable, and given her kindness I can certainly understand the respect Northern Base has for her, but she doesn't really contribute a whole lot. If she could use the Kurayami and become Calibur all this time, then why didn't she take it from Kento and Yuri and do so earlier when Kento decided to go back to being Espada? I know she's not much of a fighter and as the closet thing the Sword of Logos has to a leader after Isaac's death I'd understand not wanting to put her at risk, but considering Storious is destroying the world, and she's very evidently kicking a lot of ass in the first part of the final battle even in the basic Jaaku Dragon form, I think it would've helped a lot, just sayin'. Tassel at least has the excuse of being unable to interact with the real world, but Sophia obviously didn't just be put in charge of Northern Base just because she's a pawn in Isaac's plans right?

Ryou Ogami/Buster is also a victim of the disjointed character focus. I have no problem believing he's an excellent father and fighter thanks to Yuki Ikushima and Jiro Okamoto, respectively, but he feels a bit flat and simple in comparison. His rivalry with Desast is randomly dropped, his wife doesn't even show up until the final episodes, he's kinda sidelined in terms of action a whole lot. I imagine that must've sucked for the Rider Dads out there. He does get to star in his own manga, and that was pretty good, so I guess I can't be too mad.

Tetsuo Daishinji/Slash fares better though. Hiroaki Oka, being a Kamen Rider fanboy himself, manages to make him among the most relatable characters in the series. Not only are his hyperfixation on swordsmithing and anxiety played surprisingly believably, Hirotsugu Mori letting him cut loose is extremely cathartic and hilarious, and you really feel for him when the Onjuuken Suzune becomes the first victim of Calibur!Kento's sword sealing.

Yuri/Saikou's another dark horse favorite, for me at least. "Oh great, Avalon guy's got even more merchandise to sell, I wonder what his Sword of Light is- it's himself. Well... that's different." I admit, I didn't like him at first. He felt like he was there to fill out character dynamics in the absence of both Rintaro and Kento, I thought his gimmick was too silly even if his design and jingles were bangers, I didn't particularly care for his power set. But then XSwordman came around I totally got it. He's an endearing, hard-working man trying his best to catch up on all the cool shit he missed, unafraid of experimentation, ready to throw down at a moment's notice, serving as a wonderful bit of consistent support for our heroes, a truly knightly individual, an absolute Chad. and goddamn does he make me worry. Tomohiro Ichikawa, I salute you good sir.

Even if they fall short compared to the rest of the cast, the Shindai siblings are at least cool enough to not wanna write out entirely. They kinda devolve into comic relief after they become allies, something that villainous Riders from Chase onwards are very prone to doing, and it's especially awkward in their case because I think that they kinda get off scot-free for obeying the obviously sinister and crazy Isaac for so long, as well as driving a wedge between a lot of people and threatening children in Reika's case. I think their sibling dynamic is nice though, even if Fukuda recycled it from Makoto and Kanon and has some... questionable possessive undertones as a result. It's cool how they're basically foils to Touma and Rintaro though. The dispassionate and methodical Reika/Sabela is beautifully played by Angela Mei and her moments of emotional depth are fascinating to watch. Her Rider form is a thing of beauty, and its use of literal the Eneiken Noroshi's smokescreens and Yuki Miyazawa's precise and deadly stinging strikes are a joy to watch. And while Ken Shonozaki's not given the best direction as the undercooked plate of 7-Eleven fried fish that is Ryoga/Durendal, he manages to sell him as an experienced and hardened warrior with an awkward side that's especially evident in the Zenkaiger specials. His goddamn RWBY weapon that is the Jikokuken Kaiji is absolutely sick, I'm a sucker for transforming weapons and its combination of time and water powers is really cool, especially with Yasuhiko Amai's deliberate and forceful acting in the suit.

Daichi Kamijo/the Second Calibur, for as brief as his story was, was a pretty cool starter villain. Hiroyuki Hirayama brings this poor bastard to life in a genuinely touching way. I love how as Calibur he goes full force on his creative use of Wonder Ride Books for attacks, and his debut as Jaou Dragon got my blood pumping. His end is also deeply tragic, and I really felt for him when he realized just how badly he fucked up. Hayato Fukamiya also does wonders for the backstory, and while he also doesn't get much to work with, Mitsuru Karahashi makes his regrets and love for Kento feel genuine.

Legeiel and Zooous are both very intimidating and entertaining villains. On top of being just the right balance of goofy and threatening, Kairu Takano and Koji Saikawa's stage presences are both very strong, and their mixture of camaraderie and in-fighting is extremely believable. Zooous's rivalry with Rintaro feels incredible to see through to the end, and although Legeiel doesn't get quite the same treatment, Elemental Dragon had such a cool debut that it more than makes up for it. Their final fights are also absolute spectacles. I don't think their sympathetic angle works even close to as well as it does with MetsubouJinrai or even the Gamma, but I get it, power corrupts, and you probably feel a lot of sadness and regret for things you've done when you die unless you're a right bastard.

Isaac/Master Logos/Solomon is kinda generic. As wonderful as Keisuke Soma is, he doesn't get much dimension to work with. The result of that is while he nails being as smug and punchable as possible, he feels almost... comically generic. Genta Umemori from Shinkenger was full of personality! He was also basically some guy, but he was fun, he felt connected to the rest of the cast! Meanwhile the only real time we get to see Isaac's depth is when we see him crying over his failures. I almost appreciate him being unapologetically evil though, since I've seen way too many shows where redeemed villains get off scot free for way worse things, and some where they outright demand you to sympathize with them despite them doing nothing to warrant it.

Bahato/Falchion surprises me by not just being a movie villain whose actions affect the main plot, but also being a movie villain who actually gets to appear in series as a recurring threat! ...and it's not a particularly great showing on his part, sadly. Masashi Taniguchi does a wonderful job with what he's given, but his character feels like a retread of Eternal without any of what made Katsumi Daido a compelling and frightening villain. I'd like to believe Yuri when he says that he used to be a good person and a hero to the people, but I can only hear so many anime villain monologues about the pointlessness of life and the beauty of destruction before I can never take them seriously again. ...I think that's his biggest problem, actually. I thought he was an overall uninteresting and generic villain in the movie, and the cartoon nihilist he's shown to be in series is only a small step up. He still feels like filler. If only there were a far better written and much cooler villain who takes on the Mumeiken Kyomu after his de--

Desast is probably one of the finest anti-villains I've ever seen in recent years. On top of an absolutely badass character design and the excellent combination of Kazuya Okada/Danki Sakae's suit work and Koki Uchiyama's stellar voice acting, his story being so thoroughly intertwined with Ren's makes their shared journey and bromance a borderline Shakespearean tragedy. His struggle for identity despite Storious treating him as nothing more than a failed experiment and the Sword of Logos treating him as a mere monster really gripped me, and the way he uses what little time he has left to encourage Ren into blossoming on his own is absolutely beautiful. I think his enmity with Ogami is criminally underexplored in series, considering he killed several of the previous Riders and how Ogami's in desperate need of screentime.

Then there's our main villain, Kamen Rider Storious. Robin Furuya brings an incredible amount of charisma to this character, expertly portrayed as both a sinister, manipulative bastard , and as a lonely, tragic figure that arguably makes him feel even more villainous. Speaking as a struggling writer myself, it's easy to feel stuck in the idea of "fuck it, who cares, maybe everything is predestined", but I can't imagine what it's like to know that as the truth and carry it with you for all that time. All of your grand ideas have roots from your experiences, and you're not the only one who even could have those experiences. It's easy to just fall into despair and give up trying, but would that make you happy? Sure, Storious is sadistic, he may be fulfilling his goals, he may be ungodly powerful... but it's not enough for him, is it? All of his friends are gone, one of them even at his own hand, he probably doesn't have any idea what to do after he destroys all the world's stories, Touma even reached his full power before he did, and his downfall is so predictable that even a blind person could see it. He even seems to welcome it, what's up with that? But then I realized... OH MY GOD, HE'S THE MAIN VILLAIN USING TOUMA AS THE HERO IN HIS OWN TWISTED STORY, THE BASTARD. He's so far gone, he's so desperate to stick it to the Almighty Book, he's willing to twist the archetype of the Hero's Journey so hard, it snaps in two. What I think is interesting is that he's ironically trying to chase the trend of "edgy superhero story" that became super popular in the 21st century. The Boys, Brightburn, Kamen Rider Amazons, The Sentry, No More Heroes, Magical Girl Site, even mainstream comics from DC and Marvel... Surely Storious must've seen the cruelty and tragedy these stories are filled with, but he chooses to go through with trying to force the world into this direction anyway. Did they, along with seeing the ever-popular tragedies of legendary playwrights and bleak satire of the twentieth century fuel his despair?

And yet... there's one who stands in determination against his ideals.

Our hero, Touma Kamiyama, the titular Kamen Rider portrayed by Syuichiro Naito and Kousuke Asai, he speaks to me on a personal level. There're plenty of jokes to be made about his procrastination in early chapters, his godless fashion sense, and him doing the funny run up the slope, that's all fine and dandy, but I rarely feel so connected to a character the way I did Touma. The struggle to create, find companionship, live your life, reach out to others... these're things a lot of people struggle with, and of course you see them depicted a lot in media about creators, but Saber gets to the root of what the greatest thing about storytelling really is. Giving people hope, while using the pain of the past as fuel for the future. Sure, Storious may be right about how every story has been done as far back as human civilization gets, he may even be right about how any spin or creativity humanity has is outright predestined. It should be pointless to even try, right? That's where Touma Kamiyama disagrees. He didn't spend all that time fighting and creating just to give up at the idea of predestination. His novel writing-fueled creativity in his early training, his devotion to his friends that let him surpass Kamijo as Dragonic Knight, his compassion for the Primitive Dragon that let him combine their powers to destroy Legeiel as Elemental Dragon, his resolve that let Xross Saber dethrone Solomon, and his passion for the craft of storytelling that let our heroes channel their wishes into Wonder Almighty... all stemming from the belief imparted onto him by his predecessor that "Hope lies beyond your resolution." And that you decide how your story ends. He may not be the greatest Rider to some, he may be as lame as others think he is, he may not even be my favorite, but I have no issue calling Touma Kamiyama... Kamen Rider Saber, one of the all time greatest carriers of the Kamen Rider name.

The final chapter's definitely not as great as some other Rider finales, but goddamn. Primitive Dragon consciously choosing to save Touma is so sweet and such a great emotional payoff, I loved jamming out to the opening theme while our boys lay the smackdown on Storious. Wonder Almighty's a fitting final bit to close the main series out with, if not exactly a great one. I think the cover is great, and the book's body is a lovely shade of candy apple red, but I really don't like how its pages are just the covers of the other books copy-pasted onto onto the pages, that feels lazy. Maybe if it were a panorama of all the books' characters, I'd like it a lot more as a symbol of how unified the Swordsmen are, but eh, what can you do? On a related note, does this mean all the "last episode extra final forms" of the Reiwa Era are gonna be named after their series's opening? That's a neat idea.

I felt a lot of feelings seeing all those video messages of Rider fans all across Japan talking about their favorite stories, and how their passion and fond memories help reshape the world. Mei's monologue at the ceremony about is also really touching and- IS THAT A HUMAGEAR!? :O

Y-yeah dude, it is! Wow, where have you guys been for the past 48 episodes?! Are you guys doing okay? How come you're like... the only one here? Is the technology of Hiden Intelligence only really that prevalent in that very specific metropolitan part of Japan and they're just not coming around much over here? Is it like Dragon Ball where anthropomorphic animals are just vibin' with humans while the heroes are off kicking ass? Apparently he's played by Hasegawa Keiichi, who wrote this episode and had the award ceremony named after him. ...is Hasegawa Keiichi a HumaGear in this universe then? Did he set up this award ceremony in Touma's honor? If so, why is it named after him? Did reading one of Touma's books lead to his Singularity? I know this is just a cameo, but... god, I have so many questions that probably will never be satisfactorily answered.

Overall, if I had to compare Saber to anything, it'd probably be Sam Reimi's Spider-Man trilogy. It's awkward, stupid, overwrought, undercooked, illogically written, scattershot, cheesy as fuck, and has a tendency to squander its otherwise fine execution; but the sheer passion for storytelling, sense of spectacle, deeply fascinating characters, and belief in the ideals set forth by the cast, crew, and fans are absolutely admirable. Improvements would certainly make it an overall better experience, to be sure, but there's something deeply captivating about how wonky this series is. Seeing everybody get their happy ending after all they've been through felt extremely gratifying though, and I may have to wait another for the epilogue to and then wait for Revice, but... man. I'm hella proud of our awkwardly-emoting, fashion disaster novelist and all of his heavily flawed friends for carrying the Kamen Rider name on to the future. Here's hoping Revice will keep it going.

Alright, that's everything I wanted to talk about. Sorry this was so long and ramble-y, I had a lot to say. I'll probably be liveblogging Revice as episodes of that come out, so... look forward to that, I guess. See ya.

[taeguboi]

“She’s Mine Now” Jungkook x Reader

“A fiction in which Jungkook steals the girl from right under her lousy date’s nose”

I sort of made this concept for a fiction a bit ago and... I’m not sure this quite turned out as good as I wanted to but here goes hahahaha

Fiction Masterlist

“Cheers guys!” the singer gratefully says to his audience through the microphone, showing gratitude for the amazing response to the song the band just played.

Applause fills the room as the band put down their instruments and get ready to relax during the interval between sets.

This is a great night for the pub; the drinks sales are pouring in and the crowd ebullient for the music provided by the band who are on fire tonight.

This date however… is not.

Your best friend had inaugurated a blind date after your little drunken breakdown around a week ago as you wept about feelings of loneliness and yet how you can’t help but feel hindered in moving on from your last relationship because of your dependency on it to be happy… Additionally there were also those insecurities and irrational fears about getting yourself back out there into the world of dating which didn’t exactly help your need to develop a more positive mind set.

“Tell you what?” beamed y/f/n. “How about I set you up with a friend?”

In theory, her suggestion actually sounded like a good idea; even if the date didn’t take you anywhere beyond a meal or a drink, it could be a good practice run at interacting with unfamiliar faces, maybe even a confidence booster.

You had gotten all dressed up to the nines in your little black dress: a simple, classy look one can never go wrong with. Slimming in all the right places, the garment perfectly hugs those curves, shows a little bit off, yet leaves plenty to the imagination. Alongside this dress you donned some matching heels which give you some extra height, but no so much so as to hurt your back, your prettiest dangly silver earrings with the black sapphire gems, and the gorgeous choker your friend bought you to compliment the rest of your ensemble.

“Well, not that you need it” she corrected herself after presenting it to you as a ‘good luck’ gift.

You remember scooping it up from inside the box and looking at the choker in amazement. It glistened under the light of the sunset which seeped through her living room window and looked striking with its three rows of sparkling black gems similar in appearance to the sapphires which your earrings hold. You wondered why she felt such a gesture was necessary or if you even deserved it.

“To be honest, I bought it for myself ages ago but I’ve never worn it” y/f/n clarified following your question. “It will suit you way better anyway, especially with those earrings”

You felt grateful to have such a kind hearted friend and it was the boost of encouragement you needed to get yourself out there this evening and go for it! To say yes to life! Yes to confidence! Yes to new opportunities!...

But this night, as far as this pairing is concerned, is turning out to be a great disappointment.

Sure, the band is great and the drinks are fine, but… this guy has no personality whatsoever, or at least he doesn’t have any traits or qualities you find preferable in a love interest. All he wants to do is talk your ear off and bore you with the details about how often he hits the gym, and then there was something about motorcycles you think, not fully engaging in what this dude has to say about himself. You’ve hardly been able to get a word in edgeways about yourself.

You always affirmed in your mind that looks are not everything. You never set sky rocketing expectations that he should have rock hard washboard abs or a razor sharp jawline; you know that life isn’t a movie. You didn’t care that when you first walked into the pub this evening that you were met by a man with mousy brown hair resembling the colour of the faded mahogany floor that met your feet, nor did you judge his typical smart-casual style consisting of a white v-neck, black blazer and jeans. The personality was what always mattered to you; the one thing that always sealed the deal.

“I’m just going to nip to the toilet! I’ll be right back!” you abruptly announce whilst your date is in mid-sentence about what hair product he uses which, by the way, is just a bit too much. You figure he must have put a bit too much mousse in his hair as it produces a greasy appearance even under the dim pub lighting that hovers above your heads.

“Sorry” you quietly apologise as you come to your feet and gather your black clutch bag and your phone from the small rounded surface of the tall shabby table.

* 

After relieving yourself in the ladies room and finding yourself alone in there, you stare into the mirror to reflect in a contemplative way, ignoring the slight smudge of eyeliner beneath the outer corner of your right eye. 

There is barely anything you are enjoying about the evening. You scan your brain for all the possible excuses you could make for leaving early, but nothing seems good enough:

You can’t say you’re feeling ill because he’d only offer to walk you home and that in itself just seems like an unnecessary effort for your date who will most definitely offer to walk you home only to be rejected in any further advances he’s likely to make on you. In fact, you feel somewhat apprehensive at the idea of being alone with him although that could just be your mind speculating following on from when he placed his hand on your thigh a couple of times throughout the course of the evening.

Calling y/f/n doesn’t feel like an option. She went to so much effort in a sincere attempt to make her friend happy from hooking you up with this guy in the first place, to helping you get your makeup on point, (you never realized how good winged eyeliner on your top lids looks!) to even driving you to this pub.

Doing a runner through the beer garden and out the back gate just isn’t your style either. Rude, cowardly and insensitive; you just aren’t any of those things... You suppose you could stick this through a bit longer and get a couple of more free drinks out of this, right?

‘Jesus y/n, what have you stooped to?’ you wonder to yourself.

Pulling out one of your emergency make up wipes from being crammed inside your clutch bag, you correct the small problem that is the smudged eyeliner and promise yourself that you will try harder to stop yawning from boredom, and then ultimately chucking the used wipe in the bin of the nearest cubicle.

You stumble out of the toilets, kind of forgetting about the small step on the way down, causing you to wobble a bit as your reaction time to stop yourself from falling is a bit too slow. Your shoulder crashes into the chest of someone passing by and you instantly fill up with embarrassment, apologising profusely.

“Oh crap, I’m so sorry!” you exclaim, taking a quick glance at the stranger you knocked into, then your line of sight goes straight to your outfit as you smooth down your dress in the hope that it hadn’t raised up from your clumsy gesture.

“No worries!” the voice replies back, the man already walking into the distance and towards the garden when you look up. He gives a wave to show it’s okay, no harm caused. He looks familiar.

With a black crew neck shirt and black shorts, one would think his clothes would only blend in with his ebony hair but somehow, his appearance does feel so ordinary; his fringe is a little too long almost covering the eyes yet rather than the length weighing it down, it glides buoyantly as he turns his head. You couldn’t see the colour of his eyes but they felt warm and dark, like mocha.

The logical thinking side of your brain is clearly non-existent practically as you can’t make any guesses as to why you think you recognise him and you have to urge yourself to stop thinking so pensively. Lots of people look familiar that you’ve never met before, it’s just one of those things.

Entering the main bar room, heels clumsily clunking on the floor amidst the low chatter of the punters, you search for your date as you register he is no longer sitting at the table you left him at. You let out a small sigh, one of contentment as you jump to conclusions. However, your date spots you from the bar counter and beckons you over.

“Oh, aren’t we keeping our seats?” you inquire as he places a fresh drink in your limp hand.

“Mm-mm” he hums as if to say ‘no’. “I thought we could have one more for the road and then… move on, if you like?” he requests, raising an eyebrow half suggestively.

It is now quite obvious that this guy is more into you than you are him and a small wave of panic hits you as you struggle for a good response.

Glaring feedback from one of the guitars on stage interrupts the awkward moment as the band plug back in their instruments to do their next set. Though this noise makes many tense, it fills you with a solace; that sound means the band are back on; the band being back on makes the perfect excuse to stay.

“Oh, well whilst I wouldn’t mind saying yes to one more drink, I… I was actually really enjoying the band” you stammer, taking a sip of drink after.

“Same as last time please mate” the bartender says, requesting payment as he serves your date’s drink. A £10 note is placed in the bartender’s hand and a doubting smile is thrown your way.

“Oh, okay, sure” he replies, bringing his hand into his pocket having received some pennies. You can sense his efforts to be some smooth suave kind of guy for you tonight, one with genuine intentions, but it was only coming across minutely. Move on? And before the band have even begun their second half? Impatience, in reality, is what is coming across.

You decide to ignore that your date is probably not ecstatic with your placid response to his suggestion and you turn your focus to the live entertainment.

“Come one” you smile. “Let’s go to the front”

Your suggestion turns into command as you reach out for his non participating hand, grabbing his wrist anyway and practically dragging him there.

“One two…” the singer vocalises into the microphone to see if it’s turned on and the audience response is already bursting with positive hollers, anticipating cheering and fulfilling applause that resonates across the room.

“Alright, that’s definitely on” the singer chuckles sonorously, sweeping back his highlighted mahogany hair. 

“Here’s the next song to kick the night off a little…” he continues, hyping up the first song of the second half of the evening.

The main guitar riff begins the upbeat song which everyone immediately recognises causing many more layers of commotion in the room with whistling, singing along and feet stomping. You jig along to the song a little on your own, drink in hand and clutch bag under the same arm.

Oddly, you hoped your date might have wanted to dance with you, that maybe this dude might have at least one weeny small ounce of fun in him, but nothing. Halfway through the song, you glance over your shoulder, flash him a smile as you bop along and in return he sends you a rigid smile that for a split second makes you forget about how warm it’s getting amongst the crowd.

For the rest of the song, well tell a lie, the rest of their set, your eyes remained on the band. Along came more upbeat songs through which the occasional stranger would shuffle along and have a friendly dance next to you and then move along to the next amused punter with their terrible moves from 1982. There was the odd ballad to tug on the old heart strings and get everyone really singing along in the drunken semi-emotional messes they are; sweaty men with their arms around each other as the chorus hits, booming out the lyrics, mostly right, some wrong words, some really incorrect lyrics; young girls in their groups holding their drinks in the air and letting drops of wine spill onto the carefree souls behind as they sing the words correctly; couples in corners stopping their sessions of eating face to join in as they sing to one another with endearing looks.

Following a long string of songs came a drum solo to stall during a technical difficulty with the lead guitarist’s amp and you feel a bit dim-witted for not recognising that dude from earlier who is in fact the band’s drummer, who glances at you for a moment whilst he does a drum roll and your cheeks feel rosy. 

And then you blush a second time when it feels like he’s looking at you again. 

And again for a third time leaving you standing there both uneasy and perplexed as you recall why, when you bumped into that person not long ago, that face looked so familiar.

You conclude it’s the paranoia from the incident earlier as you analyse when and why he was looking in your direction those last few times. He was looking around the room as he played anyway. Every good performer gives their audience eye contact. In fact, he probably wasn’t even glancing at specifically you that first time, even. You shrug it off as the solo comes to an end with a crash cymbal ringing out eliciting a wide array of applause.

This time, you find yourself unable to put your hands together to make an appreciative sound. His eyes are burning into yours, a stare so mysterious, you can’t figure out what those eyes are trying to say to you. Like an idiot you can feel your jaw dropping slightly but you haven’t the focus to close your mouth before you catch a small fly and you’re not even sure you care that he’s smirking. It isn’t until the singer jumps back on stage and in front of the drummer that you snap out of it. 

“This dude is awesome, right?” you ask your date who has now finally decided to stand at your side rather than standing awkwardly behind you as you haven’t allowed him the opportunity once to grab your waist or hug you from behind.

“Yeah, I guess” he monotoned, raising a glass and taking a big chug of his drink.

“So do you know any other good places to go to ‘round here?” queries your date, daring to snake an arm around your waist, his warm breath hits your ear and the front of his blazer rubs uncomfortably on your arm. You note that this is probably the least sensual intimacy you’ve experienced as his eagerness to move on mildly unsettles you.

As you hold back the urge to scrunch up your face, you muster a reply with the intention to soften the blow for him that you’re just not feeling the connection. You’re going to play it calm and cool, and you intend to buy the next round of drinks, you know, to show that you aren’t just here for freebies.

“Uh places ‘round here?” you reiterate back just before the band begin their next song.

“1! 2! 3! 4!” the singer shouts into the mic before all the instruments kick in simultaneously to start the next song.

“To be honest, not really” you explain, raising your voice to be heard over the music and cheering. This actually isn’t a made up excuse when you tell your date this; this pub is probably one of the only pubs in town that isn’t a complete dive.

“Within about a 2 mile radius, this is probably the one and only bar without sticky floors or loos that smell like p… smell bad” you continue, correcting your language at the end of your sentence.

“Well, it doesn’t have to be a pub” he suggests, now finally making some eye contact with you. His stare is somewhat menacing but not in a totally mischievous way; it’s more of a gaze that raises suspicion, as though he might be up to something. “How about a club?” he hums with expectation. “You know, get some sick beats to dance to, do some shots, that kind of thing.”

Clubs. You really really didn’t care for them. Maybe when you were a few years younger perhaps, but there’s only so many times you can get inebriated enough to tolerate an atmosphere of needy blokes who want to spike unknowing girls’ drinks and people getting off in the corner and being forever unable to hear what any of your friends are saying.

‘Sick beats? What is this guy…’ you think to yourself.

“Hey, I’ll buy the next round, yeah?” you ask rhetorically, diverting the topic of going someplace else and slipping away from his hold as you go back to the bar to order, the queue which to your relief has become a vast one. At least in this waiting situation, something interesting will happen at the end and your patience will pay off. Probably you’ll look back on this moment as the highlight of the night.

*** 

“Thank you! You guys have been awesome! Good night!”

The last few chords and cymbal crashes are rung out to put an end to a brilliant evening of music eliciting once more the roars of applause and appreciation from the pub’s punters.

You’re now sitting at the bar with your date, engaging in conversation… 

...Not.

So actually, you’re just sitting on the stool next to this guy, a leg which is crossed over the other swinging back and forth repeatedly whilst you hold your almost empty glass. The applause dies down once the crowd gather the band won’t be coming back for yet another encore - they already did about six extra songs in total - and the room goes back into an agglomeration of chatter and clinking of glasses.

Forever the try hard type, a part of you wants to try just one more time tonight, and forever the self-deprecating type, you begin to doubt whether you gave this guy enough of a chance or not or that perhaps it’s you not sparking enough conversation. Deep down, you kind of realise you have indeed made more than enough of an effort and played your full hand in topics only to be dismissed from most of them… but the doubt about yourself is there nonetheless.

‘Fuck it, another round’ you think to yourself.

“Excuse me!” you call out to the bartender. 

“Same again for us two please!” you grin, leaning back on your stool ever slightly, lazily handing over another £10.

‘Right. Here goes. Try again.’

“So the band was on fire tonight weren’t they?” you smile to your date.

“Yeah, I suppose they were” he replies, his voice faltering a little. You can’t quite tell if or not the uncertainty in this voice is because he just finished the last sip of his drink and perhaps didn’t allow himself enough time to let it go down.

You’re quite sure now that sitting around just drinking and listening to some band all evening might not have been part of his plan; it seems this band tonight were kind of a last minute booking or maybe your date didn’t think the music would go on for so long… or something or other.

“So what kind of music do you like?” you pose, really hoping he doesn’t say anymore things that are deal breakers. You might just lose your shit and be known as that one loony girl at the pub who stormed out on her first date because the bloke she was sat with didn’t like the same music as her…

“Oh, you know, anything with a good beat, really. ‘Bit of drum and bass. Stuff that really gets the party going” he replies. 

You could just facepalm right here and now if it weren’t for the two drinks you are thankful to be slid your way… So basically, he likes anything he hears in the club. Wow. Very interesting(!)

Alright, so maybe there’s something else you can talk about. There must be some common ground somewhere here, right?

“Uh, I’m just gonna nip to the men’s room… I’ll be right back” he mutters, not even allowing you the chance to reply to him.

As your date makes his way through and disappears in the crowd, you find yourself in a bit of a trance, half trying to think of something to talk about when your date returns, half contemplating standing him up and leaving.

“Sorry? Excuse me?” speaks a voice, taking you away from your thoughts “Sorry, could I just squeeze in here please?” asks a girl trying to get to the bar to order.

“Oh yeah, of course, sorry love” you reply, dismounting the stool, dragging it away a little to make room, then reaching over to the two drinks to pull them over to your new spot. You stumble a little from the lack of space to move about in and accidentally tread on someone’s shoe.

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry” you apologise as you turn around to face the stranger whose toes you just squashed. Trying to keep hold of the stool behind you, a hand behind your back remains clutched onto one of the back bars of it and it suddenly doubles up as something to lean on as you feel yourself going weak at the knees at what feels like a deja vu type occurrence.

“We’ll have to stop bumping into each other like this or I’ll have to learn your name” he smiles; it’s the drummer from the band again.

His black hair is slightly damp from the energy he put into tonight’s gig yet he still manages to look radiant. Tall and broad shouldered with eyes that are a sensuous brown, you can’t help but admire the view in front of you. You could kick yourself for how clumsy you’ve been as the evening has progressed… have you really had that much to drink?

“It’s y/n” you smile, now ignoring your seat completely and coolly leaning onto the bar... only to be suddenly shaken up by the return of your date as he makes you jump.

“Hey!” he exclaims. “Goodness, people really are like vultures with the seats in this place, huh?” he questions as he observes the already occupied bar stools behind you.

“Ah, just a bottle of water please my good man” the drummer requests now having the attention of the bartender who immediately gets his order.

“On the house dude; great show tonight” 

“Thank you so much” replies the drummer gratefully, then facing back to you to say goodbye. “See you around y/n… the name’s Jungkook by the way” he smiles, raising the bottle in his hand as if to say ‘cheers’ as he walks away.

“You know him?” asks your date.

“Not really no” you reply “I was just a bit clumsy and trod on his foot” you laugh nervously. 

“I apologised and we got chatting…” you explain, feeling the need to justify yourself for some reason.

“Y/n, I’m not going to scold you for talking to other people” he replies, stepping closer to you. 

“But if there’s something you’re not telling me…” he coos, once again giving you that unpleasant shiver down your neck.

“I can help change your mind” he says suggestively - and it does absolutely nothing for you. 

Not even the slightest bit of arousal? 

Nope. Nothing.

Unsure of how to respond, you excuse yourself to go to the toilets once more.

“Sorry, I guess I’ve had a lot of these drinks; I need to use the ladies again” you chuckle. 

***

The band load out the last few bits of equipment into their van and stop for a break from all the heavy lifting, taking in the fresh cool air that the outdoors offers. The singer, dark brown hair wavering in front of his face in the breeze, scrambles his pockets and pulls out a pouch of tobacco and rolls himself a cigarette which immediately goes noticed by the disapproving lead guitarist, Seokjin.

“Oi, Tae, I thought you’d given that shit up” Seokjin challenges, eyebrows slightly furrowed beneath his light brown fringe.

“It’s just the last of what I had left, promise” shrugs the singer with a slightly muffled voice from the filter he holds between his teeth, earning a glance of disbelief from the other three band members.

“What?” he shrugs again, brushing his hair back with his spare hand and placing the loose tobacco in the paper. “Anyway, it was a good night; I deserve it.”

“It’s alright ‘Jin” hums the drummer tunefully, placing his almost empty water bottle on the floor to take his sweaty shirt off, revealing a handsomely muscular body. He slides open a door to the back seats of the van, rummaging for his clean shirt as he continues to talk:

“I’m sure Taehyung’s more than aware that if he starts croaking like some old frog then we’ll find a replacement…”

“Ah Jungkook, quit teasing” the singer sighs with a smirk, leaning against the door of the front passenger’s seat, lighting up his cigarette.  “You guys love me really,” Taehyung continues, taking an inhale after.

“Alright, sure we do” jokes the bassist, Namjoon, hands in pockets standing opposite Taehyung and next to Seokjin.

“You do” smiles Taehyung with a confident smirk.

Gathering the pool of fabric that is yet another black shirt, the drummer takes his head out from inside the car, slams the door shut, and throws the shirt over his body and poses a question. “So, we sticking around for a drink then?” he asks, picking up his bottle of water and taking a sip from it.

“‘Fraid not mate” replies Namjoon with a sigh. “Work in the morning”

“I’ll take you back mate” offers Seokjin, fumbling in his pockets for the keys.  “I wouldn’t be drinking anyway so just let me know when and we’ll set off Joon”

“What time is it?” asks the bassist, looking at his wrist and showing an expression of exasperation upon realising he must have forgotten to put a watch on before tonight’s gig.

“Almost 20 minutes to midnight” Taehyung says, already able to see the time of 11:39 on his brightly lit phone he holds in front of him as he checks his social media.

“Oh shit” mumbles Namjoon. “Might have to go sooner than we thought then mate, is that alright?”

“You staying Tae?” asks Jungkook.

“Uh, yeah, sure” the singer replies, putting his phone back in his pocket and lifting himself from the car door. “Just lemme finish this and we’ll go back in, yeah?”

“Right see you guys at rehearsal in a few days” smiles Seokjin, bringing in Jungkook for a goodbye hug.

“See you soon man” adds Namjoon, reaching out for Taehyung’s hand and the two shake hands and bring each other in for a friendly pat on the back.

The guitarist and bassist hop into the van as Taehyung flicks the cigarette butt onto the concrete and he burns it by stamping on it. A couple of beeps from the van as it drives away prompt Taehyung and Jungkook to wave goodbye and they turn their backs to head inside the pub.

Finding a spare table in the corner of the room, the two boys sit themselves on two lonely chairs positioned behind a small round table, looking onto the rest of the room.

“So a bit of dutch courage and then we take our pick of the crowd this evening ‘Kook?” asks Taehyung casually, now definitely in the mood to pull after such a dynamic gig.

“I’ve already chosen mine,” Jungkook replies matter-of-factly as he spots one girl in particular walking past them. “See that girl over there? The one in the sexy dress?” he questions, pointing over at the bar where she now stands.

“You mean the one right next to that guy who appears to be her date or boyfriend?” Taehyung conversely states.

“I want her” answers Jungkook with a fairly deep hum showing an urge to go do something about it.

“Dude what the fuck? Not gonna happen” ridicules the singer. “She’s been with that guy all evening; I could see from the stage”

“Challenge accepted” Jungkook arrogantly responds, folding his arms and leaning back in his chair as he unashamedly checks out the target of his desire. 

Now usually, Jungkook would look straight at all the curves on a woman, but not this time. He watches the way the girl coyly smiles at her date and Jungkook finds it super cute; though he’s barely convinced she is flashing a genuine smile at this other dude, she still looks beautiful and charming.

“20 quid says you can’t do it” Taehyung challenges, sliding a note out of his wallet and placing it on the table, now invested in the idea of making something a little more interesting happen again since the atmosphere of the bar now seems pretty anticlimactic to what he felt on stage just 20 minutes ago

“Make it 30 and we have a deal” Jungkook counters, pulling out a 10 and a 20 from his wallet and placing those on top of Taehyung's initial bet. “I plan to treat this girl to whatever she wants tonight”

“I think this gig got to your head Kook” laughs Tae not quite believing the audacity of his friend. "I mean I know that was probably one of our best but…"

“She’s totally into me” adds Jungkook as the girl from the bar glances in his direction and flashes a friendly smile.

“How could you possibly know that?”

“I’ve already spoken to her a few times… Anyway, is it a deal, or what?”

“Right then, 30 quid it is…” Taehyung agrees, sliding out an additional note from his wallet and slamming it down on top of the rest of the money to complete the sum proposed. He feels pretty confident about his side of the bet so he’s more than happy to up the ante.

Jungkook reaches out a hand to shake and Taehyung returns the gesture, taking a firm grip of the drummer’s hand and firmly shaking on it.

***

You had possibly taken a lot longer than expected in the ladies room. Partly it was that you needed to compose yourself as the alcohol was beginning to make you feel a tad dizzy but mostly it was you sitting on the loo seat in a cubicle composing a list on your phone. 

Your little document didn’t have a title but the content mostly revolved around things you could possibly try to talk about and ways you could put an end to this part of the evening without seeming rude.

Family emergency…

Phone a friend to pretend to by chance be at the pub…

Ask him about his family…

Bite your tongue and ask more about the motorcycles

Grin and bear it and ask about his gym routine… but I’m still not fucking him.

“Hey sorry I took so long” you apologise, holding up your phone. “It was my mum; you know what parents can be like, even when you’re more than old enough to take care of yourself…”

Nice save y/n.

Deciding to stick this through for some bizarre reason, you pick the topics of conversation as ‘plan A’... okay it was more like plan B, C or D at this point, just in different variants of ‘plan A’ to just be yourself and talk. Maybe asking more questions about him will spark some other sort of conversation. Maybe making an effort to find out more about him is what this needs… even if the most of the first half of your date had already consisted of talking about him...

“So tell me more about this bike you’re doing up,” you begin with your best interested smile and trying to keep the conversation innocent after what was said before you made your panicked exit. “Maybe you could show me sometime” you continue, throwing yourself in the deep end a little but then wondering what is actually happening here.

‘Have I actually become that desperate that I’m forcing myself to make arrangements for another meeting with a guy I’m not even interested in?’

“Actually, it’s almost finished” replies your date with a much more confident and genuine smile than he gave you previously. “I know this great place where we could take it for a test run if you’re interested actually…”

Just as you’re about to reply, a figure comes barging between the two of you, half annoying you, half relieving you of the pressure to muster the enthusiasm to make a positive comment.

“Hey guys! Great night, huh?” booms Jungkook. “You managed to stand on anyone else’s toes yet y/n?” he grins.

“Not yet, no” you laugh.

“Good, good…” he hums, then turning his attention to the bartender. “Excuse me! 2 pints please!” he requests, pointing to one of the beer taps. “And… can I get anything for you guys?”

“Oh, you don’t have to” you tell him. 

“No, I insist” he exclaims. “And another round for these two please!” to which the bartender nods.

“So I’m doing a bit of research guys… what was your favourite song this evening?”

Your date seems rather speechless which doesn’t surprise you as you could just tell from his vacant stare throughout the whole gig that he wasn’t so much as even paying the slightest bit of attention.

“My favourite song?” you ask, scanning your brain to try and pick one. “Well, I enjoyed a lot of them, so….”

And just like that, an engaging conversation is sparked. It goes from the music, to asking each other what you each do in your ordinary lives, to funny anecdotes, to current affairs in the news, and then even following on from those news stories with opinions and theories, and before you know it, you glance up at the clock behind the bar and it is already half past midnight.

Clearly, your date also takes note of the time and finally decides to speak again right in the middle of you and Jungkook laughing about the idea of what ridiculous conspiracy theories have been said about the very latest bit of breaking news.

“Oh my God, really? Some people are so ridiculous!” you laugh, unable to contain yourself, stitches forming in your ribs.

“Um, y/n, it’s probably about time we should get going…” he informs you,  coming to stand next to you, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“Oh, really?” you sigh longingly. “I’m quite enjoying it here.”

“Well, it’s just that I’m getting a bit tired and I thought you might want to join me for a night cap…” he suggests, slightly pulling at your arm to coerce you into putting down your drink and leaving.

“I’m not ready to leave yet” you admit with a shrug as you look at the floor unable to look your date in the eye.

“Here you go guys” you hear the bartender speak in the background followed by the sounds of full glasses being placed next to you. You look up so that you can grab and take a sip of your fresh drink.

“But we’ve been here for hours” sighs your date in a huff, clearly annoyed at the rejection.

“Yeah, but our next round just came in” Jungkook adds, helping your case to stay put.

“I’m sorry, but no one asked you” replies your date through gritted teeth.

“Woah, woah!” you exclaim, standing up in front of him, hands raised as if to calm him down or bring the peace. “There’s no need to talk to him like that…”

“There’s no need to be talking to him at all if you ask me”

���Dude what the hell?” you ask. 

“Yeah, come on mate!” whines Jungkook in view of your date from behind your shoulder.

“Don’t you ‘mate’ me!” responds your date with a fit of bad temper, slamming his glass down on the table, causing some of it to splash out over the edge. You notice a couple of heads begin to turn at the sudden commotion 

“You’ve clearly been lingering around here all evening just so you can oogle over my bird”

“Sorry, your bird?” you protest loudly. 

Suddenly aware of the attention the volume of your voice draws, so that’s only a couple more heads turning to look at the three of you, you take a deep breath and muster the courage to speak up. 

“Who said I belong to you? This is a first date, a set up” you remind him. 

“I said I wanted to stay. I’ve been enjoying it here tonight, and if you aren’t enjoying it as much, then I’m sorry - not my problem! I’m not going to leave just because of that.”

Taehyung, who had also been sat with you guys for the past quarter of an hour decided to chime in: 

“Come on mate, maybe it’s time you should go” he suggests placing a hand on your date’s shoulder in attempt to calmly escort him out

“Who the fuck asked you either?” bellows your date, aggressively shrugging Taehyung off his shoulder.

“No one asked him, but I agree with what he has to say” you defend now positioning yourself between him and Tae. “Maybe it is time you should go. This clearly isn’t working out.”

Your date approaches Jungkook and goes face to face with him. If most of the pub were watching the scene unravelling before, every single person is watching now.

“This is all your fault, this” you date tells him in a threatening manner. 

“Oh yeah?” challenges Jungkook, pushing his neck upwards towards your date so that they are practically butting heads. “And I don’t suppose it has anything to do with how bored this poor girl has been looking for a good portion of the evening or how you’re so desperately trying to get into her pants when clearly, she’s having none of it? Yeah, I know your type; you’re a creep only in it for the fuck…”

“So what if I am?” 

The audacity of this comment from your date outrages you.

“Wow” you remark.

“Oh shut up!” he bellows, turning to face you once again. “We both know I could give you the time of your life if you went with me… what’s he got, eh?” he questions, placing both hands on your waist, making you feel super uncomfortable.

You push the creep off you and back away a step or two and towards Jungkook.

“You know, at least Jungkook was asking me about myself which was quite the refresher from talking to you! Do you really think you were winning me over with talks about how you go to the gym and how you ride about the county on some shitty bike?”

“Well maybe it’s just that you’re a frigid cow then”

“Oi! Oi!” yells Jungkook, pushing your - well, he’s not your date anymore, so - pushing this idiot away. The guy pushes him back and it briefly goes back and forth like this until Taehyung decides to pull his friend away, seemingly surprised at himself for being able to have the strength to do so.

“Oh my God! Just stop!” you demand. “Did you not for one moment consider that I might have just not been that into you?” you question, addressing the jerk who just described you in such a horrible way.

That really riled you up, you know. You refuse to be spoken to in such a demeaning way just because some dude couldn’t get his rock off with you. This won’t do. You know you’re not the problem here. Yet you feel the need to prove a point...

“Besides, would a frigid cow do this…?” you ask, pulling in Jungkook by the arm and swinging him in towards you lips crashing together. 

You throw your arms around him as he eases into the intense kiss by putting his hands on your waist which, by the way, feels much nicer than when the other guy put his hands on you, and the entire crowd that was watching this movie-like scene cheer.

You can feel Jungkook positively responding to the kiss as he smiles into it so you milk it by running your fingers through his hair as he pulls you in closer. Your hands trail down to his shoulders and you take in how strong they feel giving you a great sense of security in the kiss… plus you go weak at the knees at how amazing the kiss feels; how amazing he feels as you bask in his warmth.

Jungkook’s lips are divine. He tastes like the drink he just had, yet the softness of his lips gave almost a honey like flavour, delicious to savour. You relish the way his tongue runs along your loose lips requesting entrance and you see stars as just a kiss progresses into a small make out. You have to try with all your might to pull away from him so as to not create a sickly public display of affection for the onlookers.

“Yeah, well whatever” shrugs the losing man as you glance over at him with a look that says ‘this argument is finished’ Attempting to give off an unbothered appearance, as if his ego hasn’t been dampened, he wanders to the other end of the bar and towards the first lone girl he can see. 

At this point, many people have returned to chatting with the people at their own tables, low conversation stirring and restoring some of the usual ambience one would ordinarily find in a pub… the difference right now being that you’re quite certain they’re all talking about you, Jungkook and your jerk date.

For a few seconds, you watch this guy initiate conversation with her and those who are paying attention are humoured by the sight of the girl slapping him across the face and walking away, causing some to jeer ‘wahey!’

Out of sight, out of mind, you feel much calmer now as you see the guy walk out of the door.

“So, was that just for show or… can I interest you in coming to our next gig?” Jungkook questions, walking around you so that he stands in front of you.

“I’ll be a pleasure” you smile, heart fluttering at the sight of this handsome man. “Thank you”

______________________

tbh I’m not too happy with myself for how long it ended up being before the so called juicy bit but I figured it would be a wasted effort to not post it so if you got to the bottom of this post, I thank you so much for your time to read my 7.1k words of trash :P 

Fiction Masterlist

[purplesurveys]

1162

What is the youngest age you can remember back to? I was 3 and I had just woken up in a Winnie the Pooh tent with my sister, who was 1 at the time. Our parents let us go ‘camping,’ which was really nothing more than a tiny tent set up on the floor in their room.

What sports are you trying out for this year? Wakeboarding and rock climbing.

Did you wear your hair in a ponytail today? Yeah it was in a ponytail for the whole day as it helps me focus better at work. I’ve kept the ponytail on even though it’s 11 in the evening right now, but now it’s because it would be too warm with my hair down.

Who do you have on speed dial? Nobody. I’m not sure how to do that with my phone, and even if I knew how to I don’t know if there’d be anyone I’d want to put on speed dial.

What colors do you like to paint your toenails? I never do anything with my toenails except clip them.

Would it be cool to learn how to DJ at a club? Sure!

Where are you going to be three hours from now? It would be 2 AM by then but I highly doubt I’d be asleep by then. I just bought all 7 of the BTS Cold Brew Americano bottles (yep, so much happened while I was gone and I am apparently an Army now...) so I’m drinking from one of them tonight; and they are strong as fuuuuuuuck.

What job would you NEVER take, even as a last resort? Anything related to sex work. Not that I’m against it, but it’s just not for me.

If you broke your computer, would you be able to fix it on your own? Only if it’s something a hard reboot could easily fix haha. If it’s beyond that, I don’t think so.

If someone looked in your closet, how would they judge your style? That I need to update my wardrobe. Most of them were trendy at some point, but not so much these days. They would probably comment that I need to add more colors as well.

What was the shittiest hotel you’ve ever stayed at and why? I’m not sure we’ve stayed somewhere I absolutely hated. I know my dad hated our first hotel in Palawan since the whole vibe of the room felt cheap, the bedsheets looked kinda tacky, and the power went out at night, but that’s also just the luxury liner executive in him. Since I don’t really travel just to stay all day in our hotels, I personally haven’t had any experience where I was like, “never again.”

Have you ever gone on a boat and been sick the whole time? No; I get seasick but I can handle it. It’s carsickness I have a problem with.

Did you get a good sleep last night? Not really. My sleep actually felt very shallow and it really felt like I had been up all night even though I’m pretty sure fell asleep by around midnight. Anyway, I’m getting a 3-day weekend since it’s a national holiday tomorrow, so at least I have a lot of time to catch up on much-needed sleep.

What is the weather like outside? It’s pretty chilly and I feel a few breezes every now and then, but it’s not enough. I’m not sweating, but I also need to have my hair up in a bun because otherwise I’d be too warm. Phone says 27ºC.

If someone makes a spelling or grammar mistake, do you ignore or correct? Mostly ignore. I only ever correct if it’s me who made the mistake by accident.

Do oversized sunglasses actually look good on you? I’ve never tried putting any on, so I wouldn’t know.

What is the most overrated thing in the world? Milk tea. It’s great and delicious I like having my own occasionally, but it’s seriously nothing life-changing.

Have you heard any completely untrue rumors about yourself lately? No. I’d feel sorry for someone who would still be making up rumors in their 20s.

What is one word to describe your room? Progress. It’s come a long way since the breakup.

Have you ever kept something from the wild as a pet? Not in the sense that we caught it ourselves from the wild, but there was one time my sister won a baby chick at a fair when we were super young and we had him for a few days. We tried our best to care for him, but we just weren’t equipped and knowledgeable with what baby chicks need so he didn’t last too long.

Do your parents try to plan out your future for you? No, and I’m glad they aren’t the stereotypical Filipino/Asian parents that dictate how I should be living my life. My mom will sometimes let a comment like “get a boyfriend already” slip through, but she also knows I don’t have the patience for remarks like that so she doesn’t bring it up most of the time.

Do you think that surveys are a huge waste of time? I personally don’t think so. Any activity that helps me relax and gather my thoughts isn’t something I’d call a waste of time.

Are you wearing a hoodie today? No. I would hate to be wearing a hoodie right now lmao, I’d be too miserable in the heat.

Did you sleep alone the last two nights? Yes.

You’re single, right? Yups.

How long was your last phone conversation you had? It lasted like 10 seconds because when I picked up, their signal was very choppy and his voice wasn’t getting through at all.

Who was it with? A delivery rider who sent me a package that Bea apparently arranged for me :’) It has all my favorite Korean snacks and goodies and she even included a cup sleeve of Jin from BTS cos she knows he’s my favorite :(((((

What was it about? Like I said, I never got to talk to him on the phone because his signal was poor, though he probably called to ask for directions. He eventually got to my house.

Excited for anything? Binge-watching Run BTS and Bon Voyage all weekend, and digging into the Frankie’s order I got for delivery tonight.

Got laid last night, didn’t you? Nope.

Do you have drama in your life? Kind of at the moment, but it’s something I couldn’t give less of a shit about so I’m not even getting into it lmao. What’s something you really want right now, be honest? To be able to get out of the house and get my cafe visits on weekends back.

As of this minute, what is going through your mind? That these instant noodles I’m eating are really spicy.

Have you laughed until you cried? Many times.

What are you listening to right now? I can hear a neighbor’s dog barking every now and then and a few airconditioners in the neighborhood whirring.

What color are your shoes? I’m not wearing any right now, but most of my shoes are white anyway.

Can you crack your neck? Nope.

What is the last thing you drank? I took a sip from my banana milk right after I had a forkful of my noodles. Too spicy hahaha.

Where would I have found you last night at 11pm? I was cuddling with Kimi in bed while watching Bon Voyage.

What’s your plans for next Friday? So, tomorrow? Just watch a shit ton of BTS videos since they’re my latest obsession.

Does anyone hate you? Possibly.

Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the person you like? Erm, don’t really like anyone at the moment. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? No.

Could you go out in public looking like you do now? Probably to the nearest McDonald’s or 7-Eleven, but I wouldn’t go out to the mall altogether with what I’m wearing.

Who will you be sleeping with tonight? Just meeee.

Is there anyone you wouldn’t mind punching in the face now? Not in particular.

What do you have pierced? Just the ears. < Same.

Do you know anyone that smokes weed? A few people.

Where is the person you want right now? I’m not into anyone.

Are you too forgiving? I’m not forgiving in the first place.

Will this weekend be a good one? Continued from last night. I’m just glad I’ll get to relax for three days, but I don’t have any big plans for the weekend that would make it something exciting.

What is your favorite thing about being sick? I don’t think being sick is particularly fun, even if it means skipping school or work...

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t do? Many times, which is why I’ve stopped using the phrase, “I’ll never do X.” I always end up doing whatever the thing is at some point.

Are there any people who don’t like you? It’s possible, but I don’t care.

The boy/girl you truly care about needs you at 3am, would you go? Only for my best friends, and maybe close family members. If you had to get a piercing right now, what would it be? I would get a nose stud or maybe a lip ring.

Do you have any bruises on you? Yeah I have one on my thigh. As usual, I have no idea where it came from.

Are you ticklish? Everywhere.

Ever liked someone who treated you like crap? Yes.

Who do you like right now? BTS? Lmao

What’s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated? A month and a half.

Are you gonna get high later? Nope. I know Andi’s always gonna be around as my ~supplier~ if I ever wanna try it out, but I have no plans to any time soon.

What was the first thing you said when you woke up today? That I wanna take a shower.

Do you blow dry your hair? Only for special occasions when I immediately need my hair styled in a certain way.

Do you look decent when you wake up? Some days, I think so.

Have you ever liked someone older then you? I mean they’re all celebrities, but yeah.

Is it hard to make you laugh? Not at all, I like to laugh.

How late did you stay up last night? Around 3 AM because I was watching Bon Voyage, and also memorizing BTS fanchants hahahahaha HELP

Which is worse for you: being hot, or being cold? I fucking hate being hot.

How many drugs have you done in the last three days? Just the caffeine in my coffee and nicotine in my vape.

[mythologyfolklore]

Baldr in Hel - Ch. 01

(A/N: This is another fanfic I’m rewriting. So prepare to be confronted with some crack ships (yes, I mean BaldrxHel). Also, they’re both ace and Baldr has a crap ton of issues. If you don’t like that, you’re perfectly welcome to leave.)

.

Hel's POV

Hel was sitting on her throne, just being her usual self and ruling the underworld.

Before her throne was a queue of dead souls, waiting to be assigned to their respective afterlife.

First in line was a middle-aged woman.

Hel's black eyes bored themselves into the soul in front of her.

Hmm … extreme vanity, violent outbursts of anger, abuse of servants and slaves, adultery. Died of dysentery. Gross.

“Náströnd¹. Give her to Níðhöggr² as a chew toy.”

Two servants dragged the screaming, flailing soul away.

Hel grimaced in scorn at the cries for mercy – mercy! For that scum! Who would praise her incorruptible and fair judgement, if she let evildoers get away with their crimes, just because they begged for mercy?

“Next”, she ordered.

A man stepped forward.

Pathological liar, murderer, perjurer. Fell from his horse and broke his neck. That's hilarious.

“Same as the last.”

Same reaction as the woman before him.

“Next.”

An old man.

Womaniser, but not married. Guilty of avarice. Died of old age.

“Niflheimr. He shall shovel the pathways.”

The old man let the servants take him away, muttering something that sounded like “was nice, while it lasted”.

“Next.”

A little girl.

Guiltless. Died of hypothermia. Poor little thing.

Hel's expression softened and the dead side of her face turned lively and fair, both to accommodate the innocent soul in front of her and because her face changed condition according to mood. Cute things made her happy and children were darn cute. Most of them anyway.

“Oh my Norns, you're so adorable!”, Hel cooed and the child smiled shyly. “To Helheimr with you. There are lots of children for you to play with.”

“Will I be punished?”, the girl asked frightfully.

Hel smiled gently: “Of course not. For what would I punish you? You have done nothing wrong.”

“Can Mama come too?”, the child asked and stepped to the side to reveal the woman behind her.

Hel read the woman's soul and found her to be blameless as well.

The queen smiled: “She can.”

Mother and child cried with joy and she picked her daughter up, as another servant led them away to a more pleasant life than their old one had been.

The underworld wasn't as unpleasant as everyone thought it was. The living spoke of horrible torments, but why would Hel let the innocents be tortured?

She took a moment to smile after the two, before turned back to- oh. Apparently those were all the souls for the day.

Hel just shrugged and resumed her usual blank expression. She would enjoy a few minutes of quiet, before leaving to do her paperwork.

Or not.

Because right that moment her manservant Ganglati³ entered the throne room, unusually light-footed.

After the old man had caught his breath, he addressed Hel: “Your Majesty, Queen of the Underworld, Ruler of Helheimr and Niflheimr, Lokidóttir-”

“What do you want, Ganglati?”, Hel groaned in annoyance. She really wished they would just call her by her name instead of rattling down all those titles.

“A very special guest has arrived!”, the old servant announced excitedly.

The queen was not impressed. “A 'very special guest', huh? Well, who is the unlucky soul?”

“It's Baldr Óðinnson!”

Hel's black eyes widened. Then she smirked wickedly.

Baldr. Óðinn's most beloved son. The fairest of the Æsir.

She had already been waiting for him; her tables were laid, the mead brewed.

“Hm, he took his time, didn't he?”

.

Baldr's POV

Where was he?

What had happened?

The last thing he had felt was this pain in his chest, where the mistletoe dart had pierced him.

Strangely enough it hadn't hurt as much as he had suspected.

No, what had hurt him more was what he had seen last – how Loki had tricked Höðr – his blind, darker, yet beloved twin – into shooting him. Oh poor Höðr, he had to be so heartbroken! Knowing that he had killed his brother …

Ah. Yes.

That was it.

He was dead.

And this had to be the entrance to the underworld.

Finally! No more pressure, no more getting stuff thrown my way … oh Norns, why am I like this?!

Now he just had to find the gate. A bit of a challenge in this fog.

Before he knew it, there was an obsidian bridge with a golden roof. Where had that come from?

More so, there was something inviting and mesmerising about this bridge. It called to him.

Come, it seemed to whisper to him. Cross me. Go to the afterlife. Enter the place, where you will be beyond all pain.

He chose to follow the call.

As he was in the middle of the bridge, he encountered a Jötunn, who was sitting on a watch tower. When she saw him, she jumped off her seat and greeted him briskly: “Welcome, Baldr Óðinnson. I am Móðguðr⁴, the gatekeeper of the underworld. Her Majesty, our venerated queen, is already awaiting you.”

She was? Huh.

This was exactly what Loki had told him, a night before he had murdered him.

Baldr smiled: “Well, I better hurry, then. It would be rude to keep the queen waiting, wouldn't it?”

“That it would”, the Jötunn agreed, unsmiling.

Suddenly a new voice made them both jump.

“Baldr? Where are you? Wait for me! Don't leave me here! I can't see anything in this fog!”

His blue eyes widened.

Nanna?! Oh no! When had she – okay, scratch that, he had to get away!

He stood on his tiptoes to whisper to the giantess: “I beg you, Madam, give me directions, quick!”

Her colourless eyes twinkled in amusement, though she still didn't smile.

“When you arrive at the other end of the bridge, go to the left, until you arrive at an iron gate. From there, just follow the black path, but be careful not to slip. Inside the castle are signs and layout plans, so you should find your way to the audience hall easily”, she whispered back.

He thanked her and made haste to follow her directions.

.

Hel's POV

Hel picked up her scythe and made her way to the audience hall to receive her new special subject.

The bells tied to her scythe jingled as she walked.

A long time ago, her father had given them to her, to remember her daddy by. Lucky charms he had called them. She still cherished them dearly, that was why she had tied them to her scythe in the first place: so she could take them with her, wherever she went. They were a reminder of happier times, times before the Æsir had come, had torn her and her brothers away from their mother, had bound Fenrir and thrown Jörmungandr into the sea that surrounded Midgardr and banished her to Niflheimr.

That and they were a nice change from the constant howling of the wind and wolves and the faint whispers of the dead. Their jingling was comforting (and alerted dead souls, that she was near).

She entered the audience hall to receive this indeed “very special guest”, sat on her high throne, placed the scythe on her lap and waited for the dead Ása to arrive.

.

Baldr's POV

Baldr had almost got lost in the many crooked corridors, but he had somehow managed to find the way in the end.

Eventually he found himself in a huge hall, presumably the throne room.

It was rather dark in here. The only light sources were tiny, pale blue lights, that floated through the hall like fireflies. Every time they neared the walls, their dim light would make fluorescing minerals glow.

A thick ground mist was covering the ground up to Baldr's knees, but everything above that level was perfectly visible.

As he looked around, he saw that he was standing in front of a golden throne. It was currently vacant, but he could tell, that normally the Mistress of the Dead herself sat on it.

What didn't escape Baldr, was how the tiny lights gradually orbited closer to him. Maybe they were attracted to his own glow, like moths to a flame.

This place had a foreign kind of beauty to it. It was nothing like the descriptions of Helheimr he had heard in life (well, except for the darkness and mist).

As he was standing there, taking in the ambience and letting the tiny light balls circle around him, he heard slow steps approaching the room, until from a side entrance an old lady emerged and came up to him.

“Baldr Óðinnson?”, she inquired.

“That's me”, he confirmed.

“Good”, the woman said. “Welcome to Éljúðnir⁵, the high castle and seat of Her Majesty, the queen. I am Ganglöt⁶. My mistress is expecting you in the audience hall. Follow me.”

He obeyed and followed the old maid.

All the while, he tried to figure out what she was. She wasn't an Asýnja, nor was she a Jötunn. She was clearly not a Light Alf or a Vana and, if the appearance of Iðunn was anything to go by, not a Dark Alf either. She didn't even look like any of the Midgardians he had ever encountered. Maybe an Elemental? But then the question would be what she embodied.

His train of thought was put to an end, when he and the old maidservant arrived in front of a giant fluorescing green door.

And suddenly it came back to his mind, that he was about to meet Hel Lokisdóttir – the daughter of his murderer.

Baldr took a deep breath to compose himself.

Ganglöt seemed to notice. “Are you nervous, young man?”

He nodded awkwardly.

She lifted her head to give him a small smile. “If you're remotely as virtuous as people say, you have nothing to fear”, she assured him.

Then she tapped the threshold with her walking cane and Baldr screamed in terror, when the ground between the two and the door opened up to reveal a pitfall.

“What is this?!?”, he gasped out, as he recoiled from the pit.

“Eh, just one of the little tricks her Majesty has installed”, the old lady explained.

“Little tricks???”

“Aye. And now we need to walk over the chasm.”

The bright god gawked at her. “Excuse you?! That chasm is too wide for-”

But the maid only giggled softly: “Don't wreck your pretty head, young one. Watch.”

Then she stepped forward – into the empty.

And Ganglöt walked. Over the void of the pit. As if it was solid ground.

His eyes grew even bigger. “What … how …?”

“Come”, the old woman smiled and stretched out her hand to him. “There is nothing to be afraid of. I will hold your hand.”

Baldr gulped and took the offered hand.

Ganglöt's hand was as could be expected of an old woman's hand, but at the same time it felt really strange; as if someone had warmed up a piece of wood, softened it and given it a pulse.

“Come”, she repeated. “The queen doesn't like waiting that much.”

“Right”, he mumbled and took a few deep breaths.

Pull yourself together, Baldr scolded himself. Stop being such a wuss!

He closed his eyes and stepped into the void.

But when it didn't feel like he was falling, he opened them again – only to find, that he (just like Ganglöt) was standing in the air, right above the chasm.

“Huh”, he said. “Okaayyy …”

He let the old woman bring him to the other side (to top it off, she proceeded to hum “Walking In The Air” as she did so) and sighed in relief, when he stood on actual solid ground again and the chasm closed behind them.

“What was that?!”, he desired to know.

The maid shrugged: “Ask Her Majesty. Now compose yourself and straighten your posture, young man. You don't want to face queen Hel with that expression, do you?”

.

Hel's POV

When the door finally opened and her handmaid Ganglöt brought the dead Ása in, Hel was startled.

What everyone had told her, it really was true.

There were no words to describe just how beautiful the person in front of her was.

His face was boyish, almost feminine, and very pale. His hair was almost white and hung from his shoulders in two thick braids, in addition to the open hair in the back. He had the cutest little nose and big, sky blue eyes with long lashes. Despite him being dead, there was a faint blush on his cheeks (she wanted to pinch them), his lips were rosy and he was shining!

His eyes held a whole range of emotions: nervousness, anxiety and an undefinable sadness, but also warmth, softness and curiosity.

But this wasn't the time to get distracted.

Hel mustered a small smile and stood up to greet him.

“You must be Baldr Óðinnson”, she addressed him. “Welcome to my humble abode. I have already been waiting for you.”

.

Baldr's POV

So this was Hel?

For a few seconds he was speechless.

The queen of the eponymous world and of Niflheimr was certainly a sight to behold.

A bizarre sight; she was the strangest thing Baldr had ever seen.

It started with her hair. It was platinum blond on her right side, pitch black on the left.

She was wan, probably from the lack of sunlight. And parts of her face were black and withered, like a rotting corpse.

He was struck by pity. Was it painful for her to be half dead? And if not, how much did it bother her? And did this really make her ugly, like everyone said?

Strange, yes.

Ugly? Hmm … no, not really. Not in Baldr's opinion.

The way she united life and death in her person gave her a strange kind of beauty.

And when he approached her, his glow illuminated her enough for him to see more.

She was thin and a head taller than himself.

Her right cheek was as rosy as any maiden's.

Her night blue dress spoke of her wealth and power⁷ and she was wearing a moonstone necklace.

Her profound black eyes, which at first had looked startled (probably by his appearance, Baldr was used to it), were now looking at him with mild interest and curiosity, which for some reason was really cute and endearing to him.

I must have a weird taste in what I find cute, he thought.

Hold on – where were his manners?! He had just walked up to her without bowing or even saying hello and now was staring at the queen of the underworld, like a total idiot!

Time to fix that!

.

Hel's POV

Hel could tell, that the other was just as startled by her looks as she was by his. Of course everyone was, she was used to it, but he didn't seem to be as disgusted as most other people were.

In fact, he seemed fascinated.

How curious.

Then he blinked and seemed to remember, that he was standing in front of his new sovereign.

He blushed bright scarlet and hastily knelt before her.

“Y-yes, I am indeed Baldr”, he responded to her own greeting. “And you are, without a doubt, Queen Hel. It's such a pleasure to finally meet you!”

Now it was her turn to blink. “A pleasure to finally meet me”, she echoed blankly.

He smiled up at her and nodded – primordial cow, he actually meant that!

“Your father has told me so much about you”, Baldr continued. “Oh, speaking of him!”

He rummaged through the leather bags he was wearing around his belt, until he found something – a small stone plate.

“Your father snuck this note into my bag. I do believe it's for you?”

Hel took the stone plate and read the content:

“To my beautiful little girl,

the best birthday present ever to the best daughter ever. A ray of light for your realm of darkness. Happy birthday, Hel!

Love you lots, sweetie. Your dad.

PS: Sigyn says hi.”

She sighed in exasperation and shook her head. That was so typical for her father …

Then again, who was she to complain?

Not only was this beautiful creature in her hands now, his death surely caused his father and all the Æsir great grief. The soul of Óðinn's beloved son was the best birthday present indeed.

Now, what to do?

Should she take her grudge on the Allfather out on his son?

No.

Her resentment towards Óðinn would not cloud her judgement.

“Look me in the eyes”, she ordered and he did so.

He squirmed a little under her gaze, as her eyes bored into his soul and read him.

Hmm … no bad deeds, no condemning character traits. What a pure and adorable cinnamon roll! But what is that … oh! Oh no! What a mess!

.

Baldr's POV

Baldr was getting increasingly unsettled by the blank expression on Hel's face.

He was pretty sure, that he had never seen such a blank face in his life. Her big black eyes were like two voids. It reminded him a little of the owls he had sometimes seen, when he had walked in the forests in Asgard. Oh yes, that was the word: owlish. Her stare was owlish.

“Are you alright?”, he asked worriedly.

Hel tilted her head. Her face was still blank, but at least she now seemed to snap out of her trance.

Then, finally she opened her mouth to speak again.

“Nope.”

“S-sorry?”

“The son of the jerk, who banished me down here, can't be this cute. It just doesn't make any sense”, she … uh, clarified?

“I-I'm sorry!”, Baldr stammered and blushed a deep red.

He didn't know how to deal with this.

Baldr was an Ása, he was used to being around people, who were brutally frank and outspoken.

But Hel seemed to be a different kind of blunt.

Though he had been called cute before, it had never been like this. Hel had said that sentence with a completely straight face, without the faintest blush and in the most no-nonsense tone ever – as if it was a matter of fact. And that startled him somehow.

What startled him even more, was when a third person stumbled into the room.

Baldr almost cringed at how dishevelled Nanna was looking (and at the fact, that she was now here and there was a high chance that she would make him and/or Hel insanely uncomfortable).

“Oh, finally, I found the right room!”, she gasped. “The gatekeeper gave me wrong directions – hi, Baldr – so orientating myself was a nightmare, then I almost fell into a pit and this old lady showed up and brought me here!”

She pointed at Ganglöt, who was lingering in the background.

The light god paid close attention to Hel's reaction. Her expression didn't change at all, but Baldr could have sworn, that the left side of her face just had become slightly more decayed.

Still her overall demeanour stayed the same.

“Seems like Móðguðr played a trick on you. You have to forgive her. My gatekeeper has the tendency to give wrong directions to people she doesn't like”, she told Nanna.

“Eh, whatever”, the other goddess muttered, “I'm here now. Sooo … uhhh …”

Whatever she had been about to say died, when she got a good look at Hel. Baldr could feel the horror and disgust radiating from his former wife.

Obviously Hel noticed it too, because she brushed her black hair forward to conceal the left side of her face. Somehow that really bothered Baldr; the queen shouldn't have to cover half of her face, just because others couldn't stand it.

Nanna on the other hand seemed to have it easier now. “You're queen Hel, right?”

“No, I'm just your average Jötunn woman with a half decayed body, who has power over the dead and the entirety of Niflheimr and can read dead souls like open books”, Hel deadpanned.

For some reason Baldr couldn't help but burst into giggles. He quickly pulled himself together, but the fact that he had laughed at the queen's comment at all seemed to be enough to tick Nanna off.

“Good to see that you're having fun!”, she hissed.

Her husband coughed and mumbled an awkward apology.

“Now, now”, Hel spoke up. “Let's not get into an argument. Welcome to my realm, Nanna Nepsdóttir. Aren't you going to at least say hello to your new sovereign? Because now that you're dead, you're my subject – whether you like it or not.”

“Oh … right. Sorry”, the dead goddess mumbled, bowed and gave a polite, but cool greeting.

“Better”, the queen nodded. “Now, let me see …”

.

Hel's POV

Hel couldn't claim to be surprised by what she saw, when she read Nanna's soul.

This time she said it out loud, if only to expose her.

“Ah. Cynical, self-esteem issues, guilty of adultery with … Hermodr? Isn't that Baldr's bro-”

“Oh no, what a shock, I couldn't possibly have seen this coming!”, Baldr deadpanned.

Nanna stared at her former husband in horror. “You knew? All this time you-?!”

“Nanna, I'm neither naïve nor stupid. Yes, I knew.”

“Then why did you never say anything?!”

“Because I-”

Hel cleared her throat: “You two, this isn't couple therapy and I'm not a marriage counsellor.”

The two blinked and apologised sheepishly.

“It's forgiven”, she accepted it. “But please settle your marital issues between yourselves. I may be Loki's daughter, but that doesn't mean, that I have his sense of humour. I do not revel in the misery of others. It would be unbecoming of a queen like myself.”

The dead couple nodded.

“Anyway, Nanna, I think you know, that adultery is a crime, no matter what.”

“Yes, I do”, the dead Asýnja sighed. “So, what will it be? A snake pit? Being chewed on by a dragon, or whatever punishment people like me get around here?”

“That is indeed the standard punishment for adulterers”, Hel confirmed.

“NO!”, Baldr screamed and fell on his knees. “Please, don't do this to her!”, he pleaded. “I beg you! My wife doesn't deserve such a harsh punishment! She only-”

“Let me finish”, Hel cut him off and turned back to Nanna. “What I was going to say, before Baldr interrupted me, was that this is the standard punishment for adulterers, who actually deserve it. My judgement is fair and just. As I said before, dead souls are open books to me. I know what kind of life you two led, what tragedy your marriage really was and why you did what you did. And that, Nepsdóttir, is your saving grace.”

“So, what will it be instead?”, Nanna asked nervously.

Hel considered for a moment, before answering. “I think shovelling the snow off the paths outside would be appropriate. A bit of manual labour and cool, fresh air never hurt anyone.”

“I accept my punishment.”

“Good. Servants, take her into my garden and give her a snow shovel. The pathways out there really need to be cleared.”

Her ghostly servants were about to lead the goddess away, when Hel remembered something:

“Oh, one more thing, Nanna.”

“Yes?”

“Now that you two are dead, Baldr is your husband no more. Wedding vows do not transcend death, contrary to the assumption of the living, that they do.”

The daughter of Loki wasn't surprised to see relief run over the other woman's face, before she nodded in acknowledgement. Then she was led away.

.

Baldr's POV

“They won't hurt her, right?”, the Bright One asked the Mistress of the Dead in concern.

“Unless she does something to warrant it, no”, she replied, to his relief.

Then she told him to follow her and he did so.

She guided him through dark halls, illuminated only by his glow. No word was spoken, until Hel stopped in front of a door, opened it and motioned for Baldr to go inside.

As the dead god glanced around the room, he was stunned by the the splendour, visible even in the dim light. It was elaborately furnished, with jewels embedded in walls and furniture.

Seemed like Hel acted on the maxim “If you've got it, flaunt it”.

“Wow”, he breathed. His house in Asgard, Breiðablik⁸, hadn't quite been as luxurious (even though compared to the other houses in Asgard it was the most splendid), mostly because showing off wasn't Baldr's thing.

“I'm glad you like it”, Hel stated. “This is actually one of my own spare bedrooms, but there have been complications, while preparing your rooms, so for now you will be staying here. Your things will be brought to you shortly. In the meantime, you can make yourself comfortable.”

Baldr blushed in embarrassment. “I … I don't think I'm deserving of such honours.”

Hel lifted an eyebrow. “What, are you questioning my sound judgement?”

The blush was immediately replaced by pallor. “No! Of course not!”

“That's what I thought”, she said and he could have sworn, that there was a hint of amusement in her otherwise still completely toneless voice. It didn't show on her face either, but Baldr was pretty sure, that she was enjoying herself at his cost.

With a sigh, he sat on the bed. It was a king-sized bed and it seemed really comfortable.

Suddenly exhaustion set in with a vengeance and he felt really tired. Why was he tired? He always had assumed, that dead people didn't need to sleep – after all, wasn't death already an everlasting sleep? Oh well, another afterlife lesson learned.

Hel seemed to sense his fatigue, for she said: “You must be exhausted. After all, you travelled all the way down Yggdrasil. That's not exactly a stroll in the park. So lie down and sleep a little. A servant will come and wake you up, when dinner is ready.”

He stood up once more and bowed. “Thank you, your Majesty.”

“No need for formalities. Just Hel will do”, she replied. “I'm more than just the queen of Niflheimr. I founded a whole kingdom and named it after myself. I think that expresses my power more than my queenly title does.”

Baldr couldn't have argued with that, even if he had wanted to.

Hel left the room and closed the door, leaving the dead god alone.

The Bright One sat back down and contemplated his new situation.

Hmm … Hel doesn't seem so bad. Neither the place, nor the person. The Mistress of the Dead seems to be a fair ruler. And of course, no one throwing stuff at me is always nice … I think I'm going to like it here.

He lay down and found the bed just as warm and comfy as his old one in Asgardr.

Baldr fell asleep within seconds.

.

---

.

1) Náströnd: "Corpse Shore", the place of Helheimr, where oath-breakers, adulterers and murderers are punished. 2) Níðhöggr: "Malice Striker/Hateful Striker", a serpentine dragon living and gnawing at the roots of Yggdrasil (the cosmic World Tree), who also chews on the corpses of the inhabitants of Náströnd. 3) Ganglati: "Lazy-Step", Hel's personal manservant. 4) Móðguðr: "Ferocious Battler", the guardian of Gjallarbrú, the bridge across the underworld river Gjöll. 5) Éljúðnir: depending on the translation either "Misery", or "Sprayed With Blizzards/Damp With Sleet" (personally I tend more towards "misery"), Hel's castle. It's described as being enormous, having really high walls and large gates. 6) Ganglöt: "Slow-Step", Hel's handmaid. 7) Dark dyes for clothing were quite expensive, especially black-blue dyes (raven black). Most Norse societies only had access to them via trade (with the Byzantine Empire, for example). So really dark or colourful clothing was a status symbol, since it was only available to the wealthy. 8) Breiðablik: "Broad Gleam". According to Snorri Sturluson's Prose Edda, it was the fairest hall in Asgard.

[koalas-koalas-everywhere]

Where did the idea that Merlin is bad at healing magic come from?

Ok, that was a clickbaity title, I know where it came from: that scene in the Crystal Cave where he can’t heal Arthur’s wound. Possibly, also his struggle to heal him from the poisoned arrow in The Coming of Arthur Part 1. However, although I understand 1) the desire to nerf him at least a bit and 2) the delicious irony of someone as good as Merlin and who would like to be gentle as much as he does being crap at healing magic but good at combat, I don’t think this is very accurate.

I mean, this belief is the farthest thing from baseless. I mentioned TCC, and I can’t explain why he’d be unable to heal Arthur other than lack of skill (beyond theorizing that the magic of the Cave was impeding him because he was supposed, destined, if you will, to ask for Taliesin’s help and agree to look at the crystal in exchange, which admittedly doesn’t have much support from canon, or Merlin’s general lack of magical  ability that caused him, for example to make a rose instead of a strawberry for Freya, although that was in the previous season). Then there’s TCoA, although that one’s a bit... complicated, for reasons I’l talk about in a minute, and, last but not least, there’s the Hollow Queen, where Merlin tries to heal himself but he can’t. Besides that, there are some instances when he didn’t try to heal people so we can extrapolate that he was unable, like when Mordred is hurt in The Beginning of the End, when Will and Freya are dying in The Moment of Truth and The Lady of the Lake* or when Arthur passes out in The Last Dragonlord. 

The one from TCoA is complicated, because as I said before, he struggles, and by the time the scene cuts off it seems like he failed, but when Arthur wakes up, he only seems to have problems with the wound itself, not the poison, and doesn’t feel the pain until he walks on it. Then, without a hint of the fever he had before, he walks all the way to Camelot, a day or more, until he can’t go on anymore, but Merlin tells Gaius the spell didn’t work, BUT then Gaius says the wound’s infected, not poisoned, which would be explained by the whole traipsing about with a wounded leg and no treatment, so... I’m not sure what to make of it. 

Then in THQ, there were the ameliorating circumstances of being... you know... dying from poison. It’s more a matter of power than healing skills (when he tries, his eyes flicker like cheap old lightbulbs when he tries to do magic). But we’ll count it.

So that makes it 5 times he would have liked to heal someone with magic but couldn’t due to what we can assume is a lack of skill (I’m not counting Mordred because I don’t think he’d dare to use magic in that case, since Morgana seemed to want to be involved and kept up to date in his treatment, proved by how she watched as he did it without magic), two of which are dubious because he seems to be at least partially successful or because there were extenuating circumstances.

Then there’s times where there were people to heal but the circumstances were... peculiar.

One was his father in The Last Dragonlord. He dies much more quickly than Will, not to mention Freya, which suggests an even worse wound than the one the woman who grew up with Druids, notable healers, said was too deep to heal. Merlin says he could save him, but Balinor cuts him off so he could give his last words, presumably because he, a man we also know possesses some healing skills, knew it was pointless. I really have to wonder if there was anything any ordinary sorcerer could have done (I mean, not to victim-blame, but I didn’t see Balinor trying to heal himself), that even Merlin himself pre-The Diamond of the Day could have done, so I’m reluctant to draw conclusions about his healing abilities from this.**

While he heals Gwen in With All My Heart, technically he does it not through any healing magic but by taking her to the Cauldron of Arianrhod and summoning the Triple Goddess, so it doesn’t help measure his skills either.

Additionally, (and here’s where I start to answer one of the most important questions in this post, which has remained unsaid until now, but which has underlined every single line to the moment: “what the fuck are you ranting about you big dumdum if all you’re going to do is agree that Merlin’s bad at healing?!” It’s about the refutation) there’s his healing of Morgana in TCC. This one’s also weird, because he does heal her, but he needed Kilgarrah’s help to do it. It’s possible that he only gave Merlin the spell, like he did with Sigan, but he has a strange sound effect in his voice when he casts it, so it could also be that he had some extra guidance from Kilgarrah to help him along, such as a power boost or an instinctual understanding of how to perform the spell. Like the last one, then, I don’t think this example gives us any reliable information on his healing skills.

But! It does start us off on the next part of this discussion, which is the times Merlin has successfully healed someone.

The earliest example of this is The Mark of Nimueh, where he heals Gwen’s father, Tom. He just sneaks in, puts a poultice under his pillow, casts the spell, sneaks out, and done! Man awake in seconds, cured by morning. Of course, success isn’t as interesting as failure (might be the reason why they continued this particular storyline by having Gwen accused of sorcery instead of just letting her live), but two things stand out about this healing. The first is that Merlin used a poultice for it, which will come up again later, so make a note of that. The second is that this happens before TCC, so it’s unlikely that Merlin just took that failure to heart and tried to improve. 

But, TCC is the next time since then that he makes an attempt at healing magic, which, whew, talk about a time gap! That’s two seasons, and at least 2 1/2 years! Make a note of this, too. The time after that is, at least, in the same season - TCoA, in which we’ve settled that Merlin seems to have partial success with Arthur’s wound. (“Yes, you’ve already said this before!” Just go with it.)

Next, there’s The Wicked Day. We know that he did the spell right because everything went to shit. Once more, he used aids for the spell, a potion and incense form sage.

The very next episode, Aithusa, without a clear idea of what they’ve been given, only that they’ve passed out and have difficulty breathing (he might have figured out what it was from the smell of the poultice that he found in the stew), he manages to save all four knights and Arthur from poisoning, this time only with an enchantment. 

Then he heals Gwen’s leg in The Hunter’s Heart. Once again, only a spell. Funnily enough, it’s the same wound he tried to heal in TCC, only in a different place.

Last but not least is the poison Gwen uses on Arthur in A Lesson in Vengeance. By the time Merlin has an opportunity to treat him, he’s moments away from death - Gaius says his heart’s nearly stopped, and Merlin himself doubts he has the power to heal him. No potions or herbs, although it’s interesting to note that he does motions similar to chest compressions.

So, to keep tally: his success rate when dealing with poisons and drugs is 100%, and it’s the same for times when he got to use aids such as potions and poultices. It also applies to all healing attempts not subject to extenuating circumstances (magical interference such as the Lamia’s spell or the blade being forged in a dragon’s breath, and when Merlin had to heal himself while he was dying) from TWD forward.

We can see him improve from TCC (season 3) to ALiV (season 5) - he actually makes significant improvement from TCC to TCoA, and from there to TWD and Aithusa. It seems like he learned from his experience in TCC and decided to make up for his lack of natural talent at healing magic by studying. And here’s where it gets really funny. Because we’ve established that there was a time, long before TCC, where he healed someone successfully, and that was Tom, in TMoN. If you’ll remember, around that time Merlin was much more likely to fail the first few (hundred) times he tried a spell, like the one to make that dog statue real and the one to enchant a weapon to fight the griffin. So, way back then, Merlin went, made a poultice, cast a spell and succeeded on his first try, when before (and after) that he’d have difficulties with new spells.

It... actually looks like he had a natural talent for healing magic. 

Okay, hang on! you might say. You spent the first half of this fucking novel talking about his healing goofs, don’t come at me with this bullshit now! you might say.

And here’s where you should pull out those notes I asked you to make. Because between TMoN and TCC there’s a world of difference.

To start off, in the first one he had preparation. He’d been able to look for and study an appropriate spell in his book shortly beforehand and, most importantly, he had a poultice. He’s had a perfect success rate when using those. Look at Dragoon - I’ve talked before about how hilarious it is that Merlin struggles to turn off a spell most have trouble achieving, let alone keeping up. In that first ep, Queen of Hearts, Merlin prepares a whole ass ritual to age up,*** but later needs a potion to go back to his own age. On the other hand, every time after that he just casts the spell and he has no trouble undoing it. While it’s conjecture, it’s a pretty solid theory to say that potions and the like, as I’ve been foreshadowing, function as aids when casting spells. They can be necessary, but sometimes they just give the sorcerer a boost. It follows, then, that any spell cast without them will be weaker, such as, say, the one in TCC.

But! He doesn’t use potions for almost any of the other times, either!

Well, that’s kind of tied into my next point: time.

As we’ve established, almost three years go by between TMoN and TCC, and Merlin doesn’t try to heal anyone in that time. He does, however develop his magic in other ways. By The Moment of Truth he can summon a tornado! By Le Morte D’Arthur he can cast the spell he so struggled over in Lancelot! He can summon a shield that can withstand dragon fire! Went against a Sidhe and a Pixie! He- okay, he got better at combat magic. You might see where I’m going with this.

But right then, he needed to heal Arthur! He’d done it before! But... he’d gone rusty. 

Honest to God. Yes, this is conjecture. No, I don’t have any proof other than what fits with canon. No, I don’t think it was intentional on the writers’ part.But in my mind and in my heart this is what happened. He was originally good or rather decent at healing magic, but after not using it and instead doing other kinds of magic for so long, during what were technically**** formative years for him as a sorcerer, that he actually lost the hang of it. To be fair, though, he makes up for it pretty quickly.

I didn’t think this through to the end before I wrote it, when I started I thought I’d just conclude there were more examples of Merlin being good at healing magic and that would be it, but putting it all together I’ve found a probably unintended pattern of Merlin having a natural talent for healing, but being forced to neglect it for the sake of combat magic. In conclusion, I’m sad.

*Scenes which I just watched to make this post and now I’m crying fucking hell what I do for stupid meta.

**I don’t apply the same logic to Freya because the length of time that must have passed between the scene in the tunnels and her death by the lake, not to mention the amount of jarring that she must have gone through in the trip, makes me think that there probably was a window of possibility there that they just didn’t have the resources to take advantage of. And. I mean. The strawberry scene. I’m just more likely to believe Merlin still had a way to go, magic-wise, but it’s also because of this that I’m not convinced that this is about him being bad at healing, specifically, as much as not being that skilled in magic overall.

*** I also rewatched the scene where he does it and ho-ho-ho-holy shit, his excitement at his idea is adorable.

****Because he was born with magic, he learned ways to use it way before going to Camelot, but this was a new stage of his studies that consisted f different things learned and different ways to learn them and different ways to apply them.