#because you don't know how to deal with arising problems

[didiwaffles]

The more I look at those so-called supposed "healthy" relationships, or at least how they supposed to look, the more I have the feeling that they imply not caring about your partner at all.

What the fuck do you mean "true love" implies that you feel good spending time with them but you also feel good when they're not around. I understand that not being able to function without your partner is toxic, but if there's absolutely no difference whether you're with them or not, how is it love??

Healthy relationships are about overcoming challenges together, not about avoiding them. That's the farthest from "healthy" OR "relationships" I can think of.

[hannibalismos-jaaneman]

because i suddenly got my obsession with mbti handed back to me on this fine sunny day; is it just me or does every infj suffer with this stupid fucking thing called ik what i want but i don't wanna impose anything on anyone so i'll let this idiot decide?

[ghostzzy]

googles ‘how to stop feeling guilty all the time about everything’

[twoyara]

About how men rape women with “consent”

This post is not mine, but one radfem woman from our community. She works as a sexologist and shared her experience in her work. If you too are a sexologist, or even better, have some statistics on this topic, please share your experiences or links. ---------------------------------------------------------- "When I first started working, I discovered that many men had never experienced the need to refuse intimacy with a regular partner. That is, a man in counseling complains that his partner often refuses him, he attributes her refusals to personal dislike and faded feelings, and when he tries to turn the situation around and remember when he himself had to refuse her, he does not understand what we are talking about. Because he has never had to - he responds to the initiative of his partner every time and considers it a sign of love and attraction on his part.

I heard this very often, I couldn't catch the lie and at the same time I couldn't interpret it. They are not robots, after all, to be available 24/7 at all hours of the day and night?

One day a client in a session literally opened my eyes with one phrase.

She said: “I CAN SEE WHEN HE'S NOT UP TO IT.”

That's the secret. The notorious emotional service. Subsequently, and many other women have confirmed this in a targeted survey: when the desire for intimacy arises, a woman assesses her partner's condition BEFORE taking the initiative. If she sees that her partner is tired, sick, in a bad mood, or preoccupied with something, she does not consider it appropriate to offer sex. I have also heard from many women that in a situation when she can not clearly assess the state of the partner, she prefers to flirt, as if casually get naked, as if accidentally do something that usually arouses the partner. If there is no reaction to this, the woman usually refuses to take the initiative and solves her problems on her own, without forcing the partner to conflict and feel guilty.

Men don't want their partners all the time - it's just that no one gets in their underwear when it's inappropriate. No one forces them to think about sex when they don't want to think about it.

Men themselves don't usually check against anything but their own erections.

They don't care when to offer sex to a woman(the following is a real and far from complete list):

Who is asleep (well, seriously, I don't know any woman who would ever think of waking up a sleeping partner to satisfy her sexually);

who's back from her 24-hour shift;

who just finished cooking a holiday dinner for ten people;

who has a high fever;

who's been vomiting all day;

who is eight months pregnant with a complicated pregnancy;

who has undergone a termination of pregnancy that day;

who is in the terminal stages of cancer;

who's just had a pet die;

returning from the funeral of a beloved grandmother;

waiting for a call from the NICU where their (mutual!) child is (“Let's get a little loose while we wait”) - and so on and so forth.

It may seem like it's a matter of cognitive distortion, that they just don't get it….. But they do. I asked one of them once: does he really think that a person in such a state can want sex? Yes, it is clear that they don't want to, he replied, but I'm just in case - maybe it will work out. I asked him how he would react if it didn't work out, and he admitted that he would be hurt and angry. And that's another “secret” - why it does burn out. Because refusal will inevitably lead to conflict, and a woman often does not have the strength not only for sex, but also for an argument. When he offered sex, she basically can not get out of the situation without damage - either to be raped, or to deal with his tantrums and offenses. And unfortunately, sometimes the first one turns out to be the lesser harm."

[drama-glob]

Okay, I've been seeing some Ozzie hate/criticism for a while now that mainly pertains to "Ozzie's" and "Oops," namely his interactions with Stolas/Stolas and Blitz with three points being brought up the most. I can concede to agree with one of the points, but what I don't like is that there is then no consideration for Ozzie's perspective on the matter in regards to "Ozzie's;" as for the other two points, they just make me want to pinch the bridge of my nose because I feel they are overlooking some very important stuff/factors. >_< So, hopefully I can get my points across on what I saw/heard in these situations and give at least some people pause for thought and if not, well, at least I got it off my chest. :/

First off, the point I concede on is that yes, Ozzie should apologize to Stolas for what happened at Ozzie's.

Stolas did not ask to get spotlighted and made into an example for all of Ozzie's to see, and bringing up Octavia is always going to be a sensitive subject, especially with how the divorce is affecting her.

Now for the perspective taking:

For Ozzie, he is seeing a consenting, adult couple out looking for some lusty, kinky fun; they are at Ozzie's after all. He doesn't know the circumstances that led to Stolas and Blitz winding up here. Ozzie likely even assumes that Stolas brought Blitz here given that he used his status to get into the club without a reservation. How is Ozzie supposed to know that Blitz was the one who brought him as a ploy to spy on Moxxie and Millie (so not a real date) as well as know the problems that are in the Stolitz relationship such as Stolas talking down to Blitz or that Blitz is using him too?

Also, it just irks me how people can come to understand Fizz's attitude towards Blitz in "Ozzie's" now that we know about the fire and believing that he was left for dead by Blitz, but see that it's Ozzie's fault for not knowing everything that's going on in Stolas's life (such as the trouble between him and his daughter arising from the divorce). True, Stolas does not have to tell Ozzie about his trauma/problems and that's completely fair, but then it's not right to go around and criticize Ozzie for not knowing that it's a sensitive subject. Stolas has been hiding so much from Octavia and likely everyone else because of multiple factors, but his main concern being Octavia learning secondhand about the abuse, depression and/or his drinking.

I know Ozzie's saying this about Fizz's trauma and he loves him, but it's clear he respects that he shouldn't tell Stolas about it/setting boundaries for personal information, so had he known though about Stolas's case, I highly doubt he would have made a spectacle of him cheating, especially considering the subject of abuse. Plus, wouldn't you think if Ozzie knew that Stolas had been physically and sexually abused by Stella, he'd be adamant to tear Stella a new one or see that she was punished, especially given his values on consent? >:(

In addition, all Ozzie had to say about Stella was that she's hot, so he likely has hardly ever met her enough to speak ill of her/know what she's really like; Stella's attitude towards imps alone would tick him off. >:( Anyway, Stella is not going to the Goetia meetings where they could have chatted and I doubt if he talked with Stolas, he'd say anything revealing or maybe even just chalk it up to Stolas not being satisfied by Stella. I also highly doubt Ozzie is going to waste his time going to Stella's parties when he has a ring and business to run along with wanting to spend time with Fizz. Plus, he'd likely favor either his own party or one thrown by Bee. ;)

Something to note too is just how happy Ozzie is that Stolas was with Blitz because besides him and Bee, to have a royal publicly display that they find someone of lower class attractive and wants to be lustful with is a big deal; Andrealphus even mentioned there hasn't been a Goetia like Stolas, although I can believe some Goetias doing the act of sleeping with those deemed the lower class in private. -_- Ozzie thinks the hierarchy is bunk or at the very least, you should treat people fairly and not act superior to them. So, by highlighting Stolas and Blitz, in addition to getting the performance back on track, he's showing lust is not bound be class differences and that giving into pleasure should matter more than saying, "Oh it can't work between us because you're an imp and I'm a Sinner" or one's an imp and one's a prince in Stolas and Blitz's case.

Ozzie's line "Now that's the spirit of lust" is also cause to see why he's so happy since he's seeing Stolas trade everything else in his life for the thing he desires most: to be with Blitz, or in the case of seeing the two of them at his club, inferring it was to have sex with Blitz; it certainly was some first class demonstration of lust, that's for sure.

Also:

There's also a decent chance he didn't see Stolas do this since he was back onstage immediately after, but if he had and with how observant he is, he likely would have had some questions for Stolas since Ozzie's isn't the place to be ashamed about what turns you on, so him doing this would have made him wonder what's up. :/ (Of course, now we know that the Stella part didn't matter to him, but that he was doing this at the expense of his daughter's happiness that Stolas felt ashamed and not for being seen with Blitz, but this moment still unfortunately sent us to the place we are now along with a slew of other problems contributing to it :/ ).

*Also, to nip it in the bud, it was Fizz and Verosika really doing all the Blitz bashing, not Ozzie, with him mainly just letting Fizz vent all his anger since as he put it to Blitz, "You've lived rent-free in Fizz's head for years," so this was supportive BF/husband stuff in hopes that it might help him heal since it seems Fizz and Blitz haven't had contact in those 15years to talk/work it out.

So long story short/just to recap, while Ozzie didn't do what happened at Ozzie's with malice and the fact that intentions do matter, he still did it and the damage was done, which is why I concede to him needing to apologize; until he knows everything though, he likely won't, so please don't see it as a flaw of his character that he hasn't until such time. :/

On to point two: I've been seeing it be said ever since "Oops" came out that Ozzie doesn't actually believe in helping Stolas and Blitz and only did it because Fizz told him he could. -_- Okay, well:

Ozzie is saying right here that he sympathizes with Stolas and why wouldn't he?! He flipping knows exactly what it's like to be in love with someone deeply and wanting to give them something that makes them happy! Yes, the reason he didn't give Stolas the crystal right then and there was because of Fizz, but that's because doing so would be an act of betrayal to Fizz, not that he doesn't see Stolas's side in this or understand why he wants this. Until the end of the episode, Fizz had hated Blitz and had clearly been verbal about it in the ~10yrs Ozzie and him have known each other, so going behind his back to help someone Fizz sees as his enemy is certainly grounds for relationship trouble and they'd lose so much of the trust that we see Fizz and Ozzie have. :(

The last thing that I've been seeing is people saying that Ozzie finds Stolas annoying or that Ozzie may even hate him because they heard him groan during this statement:

For me though, Ozzie groaned the whole sentence and not just Stolas's name, so it was not singling him out or if anything had a sighing aspect to it because it had been a long day, but more importantly, Ozzie's time with Stolas was mostly a flipping 12HR HOSTAGE NEGOTIATION!!!

That is not going to be a fun time no matter who Ozzie was with, okay?!

*I've also seen a comment about it being Stolas is a nerd compared to him when it's like, "Hello! Ozzie is a nerd too! He's literally a mechanical engineer who designs complicated robotic parts and sex toys! That takes a lot of math and physics!" Plus, I could see that being a point of interest for Stolas and Ozzie since calculating orbits, stars, eclipses, prophecies, etc. uses math and physics as well as Stolas would likely be fascinated with Ozzie's crystals.

The other thing people seem to forget is that Ozzie was also stuck with this guy:

The sleazy, asshole lawyer with a power kink, who sat in Ozzie's chair, talked down to him, pulled that move with the first contract so that they really had no choice but to thoroughly vet the bigger one with a fine-tooth comb, and kept delaying everything until the deadline literally came! >:(

Also, for people thinking about Ozzie being happy that he said no to giving Stolas his crystal:

This was him trying to cheer Fizz up, to let him know that although the day was undeniably terrible, Ozzie still respected his partner's wishes and knew that he wouldn't have wanted Blitz to have one of his crystals. Ozzie was even partially laughing while he said it in a "Oh, you're just going to love what happened babe!" or "You are not going to believe this Fizz!" kind of way in that maybe they could laugh about it sounding ridiculous for Blitz to have a crystal with how much Fizz hated him up to that point.

I know people may still think or feel how they want without budging by the end of this, but this is just what's been on my mind and I wanted to give my two cents on it. Also, part of the reason this is so long too is because I already analyzed the "Ozzie's" stuff for a fan fiction I wrote about it a year ago where Ozzie realizes he made some assumptions that night and was wrong. :/ Anyway, thanks for reading this giant thing. <3<3<3

[jaynovz]

So I reblogged a post earlier about how your friends don't secretly hate you or think you are annoying and the way you know that is they're still hanging around after you go on an absolute deranged rant in the group chat and that nobody has the time or energy to put into a con trying to fool me into thinking they actually like me or whatever

And that I know my friends are busy and if they didn't actually like me they would spend more time watching TV than listening to me ramble etc and all of those are very good points!

However something that I think is also important to internalize is that--

Yes your friends and loved ones do you think you're annoying sometimes. It's not the end of the world! Because everybody's fucking annoying sometimes and *you* think they're annoying sometimes too. Even people who really really enjoy your company and like you are not going to like you 100% of the time. That is perfectly fine and normal.

The problem arises when people snip and snap at each other because they're annoyed and don't apologize or acknowledge it, right. There are many times that I am annoyed with my loved ones and so what I do is if it's not some actual big problem that needs to be unpicked I just take a deep breath and go take a walk or disengage and do something else.

You have all made a pact with each other that we like each other enough to move past any of the annoying moments. Again as long as it doesn't become toxic and it's not an actual issue.

Like sometimes I get in a mood and I talk and don't make sense or I'm grumpy or I honestly just talk too much or I talk in circles

I imagine at certain points that can be annoying

Anyway just a revelation that I had that it's fine if you're annoying, it's fine if you're a burden, we're all burdens on each other, that's called being alive and having relationships. Deciding to stick with a relationship and to keep working on it is the commitment we all make and choose to continue carrying that burden. Hopefully it is reciprocal but it will go in phases and cycles it's not going to always be 50/50.

All of that to say, you're allowed to annoy your friends and they're allowed to not always be 100% happy with you and vice versa. It doesn't mean they don't care about you, it means that human beings rub each other the wrong way sometimes and then we all as, hopefully, mature adults deal with it and grow and continue on.

[yoongis-black-grilfriend]

Cabin Fever

Summary: Jack has been very busy with the filming of his upcoming movie and focusing on making new music. When the time comes for the two of you to spend some quality time together it doesn’t go as planned which causes some problems to arise.

Warnings: SMUT, car sex, penetration, praise, oral (female).

“GIRLY POP” you laugh as you roll your eyes getting out of your bed to meet Jack down stairs in the living room. “What’s up Jack, how was filming?” You asked while you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, wrapping his arms around you, one of his hands on your ass while he kissed all over your face. “It was good, happy we’re almost finished finally” he said sitting the two of you on the couch with you on his lap facing him.

 

“I have a surprise for you though.” he explained with his hands outlining your hips. Confused you tilt your head  “A surprise, what is it?” “Well since I've been working and stuff I decided to rent out a cabin for a couple of days, it's big as hell and it has a lake and hot tub so get ready for some late night adventures” Gasping you pull him into a hug pressing a kiss onto his lips. “You didn’t have to do that Jack I would have just enjoyed your company here.”  

Shaking his head he lays a kiss to your cheek “It’s fine we need this and you deserve it baby, thank you for sticking by me through this.”, “I packed of a bunch of clothes for you, all we have to do is get in the car.” “Jack be foreal are we really going to a cabin right now?” you asked, thinking this was too much to be true. You remembered how one time he told you that he was taking you to a disney cruise but in reality he took you to a beach and taught you how to ride a surfboard with a Mickeymouse head on it. 

You really hope he was being serious because you were not trying to have your time be wasted. “This isn’t the “disney cruise, okay, we're actually going to a cabin” Nodding your head you decide to trust him. Getting up you two made your way to your bedroom to make sure he didn’t forget anything, surprisingly he didn't so you guys made your way into his white tesla and are now on the road. The ride wasn’t super long it was about an hour. On the way there you guys talked a lot. You were able to tell him about what's been going on at work and with your friend group. 

He told you a little about the movie and about new music that he wanted to make and some celebrity gossip which was very entertaining. As the ride came to an end you pulled up to the cabin that was surrounded by trees and a lake in front of it the sunlight reflecting onto it beautifully. You also noticed how there were already two cars in the driveway. Turning to Jack you ask him “Are there already people here?”, “Yeah you know I had to bring my people with me.” 

Rolling your eyes you buckle your seatbelt back in. “Take me back home.”, “What do you mean?, let go inside.” Shaking your head you respond “No i’m not going in there. I don't feel like being surrounded by a bunch of people whether they're your friends or not.” Sighing Jack ran his hands down his face before reaching over and unbuckling your seatbelt. “Comon don’t do this right now the same way you say you haven’t been able to see me they haven't been able to see me either it wouldn’t be fair to them or you. “

“I really don’t care Jack, you should have thought about that before you did this, now look at you.” Groaning Jack turned toward you, his hand covering your thigh. “Why are you acting like this any other time you have no problem hanging out with our friends, now all of a sudden you don’t want to be around them? You really make no sense to me.”  

“I could literally care less about anything you're talking about right now, take me home or i’m going to get an Uber” you started unlocking your phone and going to the uber app right before you felt your phone being snatched right out of your hands. “Your not getting a fucking uber and i’m not takin ungrateful ass home ethier so deal with it.” “I’m ungrateful because I want to spend alone time with you? Whatever.” You said crossing your arms against your chest. 

“You wanted to be alone with me baby?” Jacked asked  as he ran his hand up and down your thigh your breath heightened as you feel his rough hands on your smooth skin. Looking straight ahead you say nothing, not wanting to give in too easily. “Huh. You don’t hear me speaking to you?’ he asked as he reached over, unbuckling your shorts that you had on along with your panties. 

“It’s fine if you don’t want to talk, I'll get something out of you one way or another.” Using his hands he moves your body towards his seat to where the back of your head is now  facing the window and you're sitting sideways in your seat (a/n I really hope this makes sense since the reader is facing Jack instead of being across him.) 

With your bare core out Jack spreads your lips with his fingers before he closes his mouth around your clit, his tongue moving in a regular speed causing your head to tilt as you covered your mouth with your hands so no sound would escape from you. Jack saw this and moved his tongue against you faster as you used your other hand to grip his hair pulling him closer to you as your hips moved at their own pace meeting Jack’s pace with his tongue. 

The need you had to moan was unbearable. Your body felt hot as you could hear your boyfriend’s tongue move against you which caused you to get even more turned on as you felt your body start to shake. Two fingers enter you as you meet Jacks eyes as plunges his fingers in and out of your before his takes your cliit in his mouth again feeling you come undone against him as you gasped for air. 

He didn’t care though not even when you tried to pull him away from you he kept going. “Jack stop, baby i’m done!” you said as you felt him licking up the creamy substance that had escaped you. “You done fighting with me y/n?” He asked his head now laying on your stomach ,you nod still trying to catch your breath. “C'mere and sit on my lap pretty.” He commanded, pulling his seat all the way back unbuckling his pants and pulling his cock out of his boxers. 

Reaching over you put both legs on the side of him straddling him as you guide the head of his cock into your entrance. You both sigh as you ease him inside of you, missing him inside of you. Grabbing your hips Jack moves you along his cock make you take all of him and when you got all the way inside of you he threw his head back with his eyes closed shut. 

“C'mon give it to me Jack” you pleaded as you moved your hips toward his thighs starting to burn a little bit. “Fuck this pussy is way to fucking good to me pretty.” he groaned as he started to move his hips from under you. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders you attach your lips to his neck as you feel him starting to twitch inside of you. 

“Your going to make me cum so hard baby fuck” he exclaimed when he felt you cleching around him as you were appraoching your second orgasm. “Cum inside of me, fill me up with all of your cum” you said as you started to cum squeezing your eyes closed until you saw white feeling Jack fill you up with his cum as you tried to to control your breathing. 

Jack rubs your back and gives you a soft kiss on your forehead. “Next, time we’ll go on a trip with just the two of us, I just wanted to be able to please everyone at the same time, next time I got you though, maybe we’ll actually go on a disney cruise this time” Hitting his chest you laugh as he places a kiss across your cheek.

 

*Ring*

Jack's phone started to ring in the cup holder that it was in. Picking it up you hand it to him as you wait for him to answer. “What’s up Urban?” Jack said as he put the phone on speaker. “Why the hell are you guys still in the car hurrying so we can all go to the lake.” He said irritated before hanging up. 

[vesora]

Hi Sora! Thank you so much for your advice and help! I’m sorry for the long post ahead, please feel free to ignore me if you find the post too chunky.

I checked out RealityWarpingg and saw a post that goes like this “And if right now, I could 100% drop my belief in the possibility of failure, success would be the only thing that I would experience for the rest of my life” and I kinda see what you mean by “If self is perfect and you are self then why wouldn’t everything be perfect”. I’m not sure if I’m understanding it correctly, please correct me if you see a problem.

It’s the self that gives the reality to the experience. I’m so afraid of letting the problem go because I think once I let it go, the body and mind will suffer from hell knows what problems. Back in loass, I always have this and that method to do to “fulfill” myself so that I think I’m working towards something, so the world won’t burn because of me doing nothing. All these thoughts were because I identify myself as the ego, the ego thinks she has to do xyz or the world will doom. But if I stop identifying myself as the ego, and start to know who the true self is, I just drop the problem, and it will disappear, like literally disappear, in the example I stated before it’s “dropping out of school doesn’t exist, everything is perfect because the self is perfect”.

This is my understanding till now, please correct me if I made a mistake!

Writing this down arises another two question:

1. so how would the problem be resolved? By the belief or the love the self has? Because Self loves all of her creations?

2. I remembered reading a post of Ada several days ago, I don’t remember the exact words, and based on my understanding I remembered the overall meaning as something like “you have to accept the worst situation that might happen to the you, have the courage to face what the ego fears”. I’m sorry if I misunderstood what her meant, please ignore it if you find this sentence ridiculous. Did she mean “only when we are open to accept the worst situation do we let go the ego”? Because if we don’t see ourselves as the ego, we won’t be bothered by the problem it’s facing, then the problem flies away because we don’t give it reality? Or did she mean “let the ego deal with the problem, it’s not my problem, let the ego suffer because it’s all just a dream”. I think this is not what she meant because this is duality, but I’m not sure of my understanding.

Thank you Sora, for your help and time! Apologies for the long post, I’m really bad at concluding my thoughts lol.

hello again love!

I’m so afraid of letting the problem go because I think once I let it go, the body and mind will suffer from hell knows what problems. Back in loass, I always have this and that method to do to “fulfill” myself so that I think I’m working towards something, so the world won’t burn because of me doing nothing.

Oh boy I get this! It is so incredibly scary to just surrender since we have been in a process of doing and controlling 'external' circumstances (which there has never been a process but we identify with there having been one). ND is radical whereas LOA is more to get something so if you want to just get something right now, I would suggest LOA just so you don't spiral. Any 'method' 'works'' as long as you know that you are not a human and that which you 'think' you see is an illusion and effectively, unreal and can be molded into a different thing at any given moment the Self decides. There are no facts at all, there is nothing that is static and stable, it depends on your will to accept yourSelf as the Absolute Authority you ARE. The character has no power because the character is an illusion. You can try changing from the outside world but the only reason it will work is if you know that circumstances start and end with You.

By Ada:

But if I stop identifying myself as the ego, and start to know who the true self is, I just drop the problem, and it will disappear, like literally disappear, in the example I stated before it’s “dropping out of school doesn’t exist, everything is perfect because the self is perfect”.

Yes, because the one who you think you are is in school just because you believe they are in school, therefore if you wanted a different experience you can easily get it because there is no one here but you. No other power but you. The world is only solid because you believe it is.

1. so how would the problem be resolved? By the belief or the love the self has? Because Self loves all of her creations?

The problem will be resolved because Self doesn't want to experience it anymore. Imagine this:

You are painting a beautiful scenery. You have alllll the colours you could have but for this painting you only want green. However, you have red in your hand. The green is RIGHT THERE for you to grab but you won't let go of the red. The paint doesn't have a mind of its own, the air isn't dictating which colour is in your hand, it is all YOU. You are struggling against your own Self, trying to grab green whilst your hands are filled with paintbrushes with red. Drop the red and grab the green paint. THERE IS NOTHING BUT SELF! There is no effort, just a conscious decision to stop identifying yourself as the paint but instead, as the painter. Then you go one step forward and identify yourself with every-thing because the reason that there even is a thing is because of You. In reality, Self is a total negation.

Did she mean “only when we are open to accept the worst situation do we let go the ego”? Because if we don’t see ourselves as the ego, we won’t be bothered by the problem it’s facing, then the problem flies away because we don’t give it reality?

Yes, because you are not afraid of it anymore. It is just a passing thought with no basis.

Read this - the following are not my words, the creators have been credited in the beginning of each section:

Neville:

I AM the believer limited by my beliefs, the knower defined by the known. The world is my conditioned consciousness objectified. That which I feel and believe to be true of myself is now projected in space as my world. The world – my mirrored self – ever bears witness of the state of consciousness in which I live. There is no chance or accident responsible for the things that happen to me or the environment in which I find myself.

The most difficult thing for man to really grasp is this: That the “I AM-ness” in himself is God. It is his true being or Father state, the only state he can be sure of. The Son, his conception of himself, is an illusion. He always knows that he IS, but that which he is, is an illusion created by himself (the Father) in an attempt at self-definition.

Now that you have discovered your I AM, your consciousness to be God, do not claim anything to be true of yourself that you would not claim to be true of God, for in defining yourself, you are defining God.

The visible world of itself can do nothing; it only bears record of his creator, the subjective state.

Lester Levenson:

God is All, God is Perfect, and if God is All and God is Perfect, everything must be perfect, and that leaves no place for imperfection or troubles - Lester

reality warpingg:

infinite.ko/infiniteko:

"Deciding to wake up as a different ego" How do you expect to wake up as something that fundamentally does not exist? Would it make sense to you if the ocean wished to wake up as a wave? Does a wave truly exist on its own or is it an illusory form the ocean takes on? What are both made of?💧

[canisalbus]

Just recently discovered your tumbler and I love everything about it. Your art style, the time period you have chosen, the background you are building for the characters. Top notch.

Though I do have a question : going back through all the asks people are tending to focus on sunny boi Vasco supporting nerve wracked Machete but a relationship needs to be equal so, what's the turn around?

When/how does Machete say 'don't worry babe, I've got this'? He is after all a very accomplished and competent person inside his areas of expertise.

Because of his trusting and altruistic nature, Vasco has been burned in relationships before. Even though he's good at reading people and might sense that he's being treated unfairly, he endures it because he doesn't want to be the bad guy and upset the other person. He's from a well known noble family, he's affluent and he's considered to be very good looking. Over the years he has met countless people who wanted to take advantage of him, his status and his assets in a way or another, and he has hard time tolerating that kind of greed and dishonesty. Machete has never been interested in his pedigree or wealth, and the way he's utterly devoted to him makes Vasco feel confident and secure.

He's been forced into various boxes and moulds all his life, his family had high expectations for him and did their hardest to whip him into a shape that satisfied them (now that I think about it, Vasco's parents probably would've been proud if their son turned out more like Machete, hard working high achiever). He tries to not let it bother him, but on some level he does feel guilty for letting them down. Machete is Vasco's biggest fan, he earnestly believes in him and loves him the way he is. He feels like he doesn't have to pretend to be something he's not around him, but at the same time Machete's influence makes him want to be a better person. Vasco admires his ambition, knowledge, diligence and perseverance. Machete tries very hard to be a good person and do a good job, but because he's so difficult to get close to and puts up such a cold facade, his efforts tend to go unnoticed. Vasco sees this side of him and finds it very charming.

Machete could use a lot of tlc and Vasco is happy to be there to provide it. The fact he's able to have such a profound positive effect on someone and their quality of life makes him feel needed, he feels like he's contributing something good to the world and that gives him strength. It's not like his only job is to pat Machete's head and tell it's going to be alright though, they enjoy each other's company and feel at ease together. In a way Machete also has a calming effect on Vasco. On his good days he can be very pleasant company, he's interesting to talk to, he's kind and gentle and even awkwardly funny at times, he has an eye for beauty and is able to appreciate small good things in their lives. He isn't an expert in expressing his affection physically, but when he does, Vasco can trust that his attempts are authentic.

Machete may not always know the correct words and gestures to comfort him, but he's a good listerer and does his best to be there for him. He never belittles or makes fun of him, he's patient and forgiving when Vasco makes mistakes, and will drop everything if he's ever in a need of help. He often makes Vasco feel seen and understood like no one else. Machete is good at solving dilemmas and coming up with working solutions (or preventing problems from ever arising, more often than not), and Vasco has the nerves of steel to keep him grounded and stable at a time of crisis. Together they make a very efficient and resourceful team.

Their jobs are very similar, Machete works for the church and Vasco is a secular politician, but they both deal with diplomacy and foreign relations. They end up working together often, and since Machete is very competent in what he's doing, he often ends up helping and advising Vasco.

I think despite their differences, they're just very well in tune with each other. In the ways that actually matter, they have common interests, tastes and worldviews. They enjoy similar things. And the parts that differ tend to augment them instead of driving them apart. A lot of their fondness stems from the fact they have a lot of shared history, they met at a young age and their friendship-turned-romantic was a very formative experience for both.

Should it be necessary, Machete would face God and walk backwards into hell to protect Vasco.

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Listen to me ramble about traveler ships bc they’re silly!!

Albedo

Both Albedo and the Traveler have a scientific curiosity about the world and how it works, as well as humanity, which they are both not a part of. While Traveler finds enjoyment out of living among them, Albedo prefers studying them from a distance.

This also transcends into curiosity about each other, since they’re both different kinds of immortal ageless entities, they intrigue each other. (Albedo talks about wanting to “study” the Traveler.) They’re brought together by mutual curiosity— Traveler by Sucrose’s description of a gentlyman-ly scholar with much knowledge of Teyvat, and Albedo by tales of the interstellar Traveler with unique abilities and knowledge of other worlds.

They feel a sort of kinship for each other, as they’re both not really of Teyvat. Because of this, Albedo only trusts the Traveler to stop him if he should lose control one day and destroy Mondstat. He also talks about trusting the Traveler around his experiments, and having faith in their “exceptional talents.” He also trusts Travaler with Festering Desire, a sword with the remains of Durin (who was created by the same person as Albedo). Albedo specifically sought out the Traveler help him research the power within the sword, correctly guessing that Traveler (with their purifying ability) would be the only being able to wield it, which Sucrose remarks as odd and a great display of trust.

A final display of trust and perhaps the greatest of all; during the Shadows Amidst Snowstorms Event, Albedo decides to tell Traveler about his creation and relation to Durin, which he has not told to anyone else up to this point. Traveler’s response is to reassure Albedo that they’re not going anywhere, that they’re going to stay with Albedo on dragonspine and make sure to help him find his imposter.

About us, Assistant: Would you oblige me by serving as my assistant? After observing so many experiments, you surely know a good deal about alchemy by now. Relax, we will work together. I don't think you will have any problems. I have faith in my ability to instruct you, and even more faith in your exceptional talents.

Ascension 2: Albedo is the step in which change begins. Clearing away the excess so we can take on all the knowledge that is available. Would you like to investigate this world with me?

Ascension 3: Rubedo in alchemy refers to the refining of feeling. I feel the refining of my own emotions is also thanks to you.

Is there anything else you're interested in?

Albedo: Hmm, anything else...?

Albedo: Probably you.

Albedo: At first, it was because you carry the aura of the stars.

Albedo: But now... it seems that there is more to it.

Albedo: Why is this? Give me some time and I can conduct experiments to find out.

Is there anything you'd like to do?

Albedo: Heh, where should I begin...?

Albedo: In your company, I never lack inspiration.

For drawing?

For experiments?

Albedo: It's good for both drawing and experiments.

Albedo: And not just for these, but for many other things.

Albedo: Speaking of which... I used to think interaction with others was a waste of time.

Albedo: But after meeting you, I'd rather spend my time on you than other matters.

Albedo: This is a unique anomaly. I think I likely know the reason why.

Albedo: So can you also... give me more of your time?

Albedo (during The Chalk Prince and the Dragon Event): I mean that the time that I've spent traveling with you in the mountains was a valuable journey for me. In the future... If the need arises... Can I solicit your help again?

Traveler: Sure, even if you just want some company, find me anytime.

Albedo: Well… Glad I can count on you.

Albedo: Those born of earth are bound by its imperfections, but those born of chalk and free of impurities... You and I are alike, both composed of a substance that has yet to be fully defined... If one day, I lose control... Destroy Mondstadt... Destroy everything... Can I rely on you to stop me?

Albedo (Golden Archipelago quest): Communicating with others can be a taxing affair, but if I were to choose someone to talk to, I would pick you. You're intelligent, and I like to talk to intelligent people.

Albedo (The Chalk Prince and the Dragon Event): But if you want to know why I trust you... It might be because… The unusual ones like us share a certain degree of understanding.

Traveler: “Unusual ones?”

Albedo: Lonely individuals... Those who aren't like ordinary people, Just like... you and me

Traveler: (Is he implying something?)

+(whatever the hell this look is):

(And being weirdly flirty)

Xiao

Xiao has been cursed with bad karma, while the Traveler has purifying abilities. Xiao talks about how being around them makes him calmer somehow. Maybe because of these purifying abilities, more likely because the Traveler is so universally warm and friendly. Two immortal beings, Xiao has spent his long life tied to his nation while the Traveler has been almost everywhere.

While Xiao has a rough exterior, he is actually curious about humanity and has a great love for them, something Traveler understands and shares. He’s just weary of his karmic debt and history of violence bringing the Liyuan people bad luck, or preventing him from fitting in should he mingle among them. The Traveler likewise does not fit in, but is still beloved. And so, Xiao has expressed that he would be willing to attempt going to Liyue Harbor to learn about the people if the Traveler accompanied him. It’s likely Xiao admires Traveler for their pursuit of understanding Teyvat and its people— something Xiao is naturally bad at— and they make him feel comfortable to pursue it as well.

Xiao has sworn to come whenever the Traveler calls his name. He has done so seconds after being called every time the has Traveler called for him, except when Xiao was so injured he couldn’t hear it. He seems notably protective of Traveler, more so than other characters (remember in 2023 lanturn rite when Traveler “drowned” and Xiao showed up IMMEDIATELY to “save” them, and the second he found out they were just faking it, told Traveler not to do that again because “there’s people who worry about you’?) During the Perilous Trail story quest, Xiao refuses to meet up with the main cast of characters, even after being injured, in fear of bringing danger to them, and only agrees to join them when he hears Traveler might be in danger. (Similarly, during the Windborne poetry event, no character could convince Xiao to join in until Venti mentioned the Traveler will be there. As well as 2023 lantern rite where Xiao mentions he came to Hu Tao’s dinner because he assumed Traveler would be there too.) Voice lines imply he is guarded because he assumes his karma will poison Traveler, and he doesn’t want to hurt them. Despite this guarded roughness, Traveler rightly characterized him as a deeply caring individual, seeing Xiao to the core of who he is, and treats him as such.

Also, Traveler has shown to be dedicated to becoming someone Xiao can trust and relax around. In some of Xiao’s voice lines, it’s implied that Traveler has been trying to come up with ways to help soothe Xiao’s pain, such as; suggesting Xiao try poetry to get out “words unsaid”, asking Baizhu about pain medication, intervening to help Xiao out when he’s overwhelmed. Traveler sees Xiao trying to manage his grief and interact with the people of Liyue more, and presents non-optional support for him. (Learning more to honor Pervases and Bosacius [it should be noted that Xiao willingly gave information about his deceased friends to the Traveler because he wanted to share the memory with them, as well as bringing them up in casual conversation (2023 lantern rite) with Traveler], bringing Lantern Rite to Xiao when he’s too hesitant to attend, making tofu for him since other foods bother him, etc.)

They have a tradition of releasing Xiao Lanterns during Lanturn Rite. [ex1] [ex2] Xiao has given the Traveler crystalflies for their hair for his own birthday, brought Traveler flowers on a few occasions, and has talked about how since knowing the Traveler, Xiao has been blessed with sweet peaceful dreams of the two of them going on strolls, wondering if he deserves something so nice.

In a poetry event, the Traveler has created poetry to show their admiration towards Xiao for his endless watch over Liyue. Maybe Traveler admires it because they’ve never had such devotion over something for so long, and Xiao admires Traveler for the opposite reason, and for being brave. They’ve been notes by many other characters to be close. [x]

About Shenhe: It seems Shenhe places a great deal of trust in you. Well, how could she not. There are few people in the world as kind and good-natured as you.

More about Xiao V: It's too late. The connection between us is too strong. Even if you wanted to, it's too late to sever it. Hm? You've never thought to sever it? *sigh* This eternal dance of demon subjugation... My fight goes on. But I would like to know more about you.

Ascension: Countless souls have fallen prey to these hands. I too have been swallowed by the darkness — and yet you dare to drive me on. You may think of me as... your companion. You seek to find me salvation? ...You... really are a difficult being to comprehend.

Xiao: ...I don't know if it's related to you, but recently, the pain from my karmic debt has been less excruciating.

Xiao: It's much easier to bear than before.

Xiao: If you have free time, we can go to Liyue Harbor together...

Xiao: If not... never mind.

Of course we can.

Xiao: Uh... alright.

Finally decided to integrate into city life?

Xiao: Ahem...

Xiao: I have no intention of getting close to the lives of mortals.

Xiao: But I know that you often enter and leave the city, walking amidst the crowd.

Xiao: The stories of these times, or their joys... If I don't experience such things myself, it'll be hard to understand your thoughts.

So... you're doing this for me?

Xiao: Yes, to understand you.

Xiao: I had a feeling that it would be difficult, but after having such thoughts, I can't simply sit back and do nothing.

Xiao: I will control myself while I am in the city.

Xiao: I'll try to speak... as little as possible.

I'll be with you.

You can say whatever you want. I'll bail you out.

Xiao: Hmm...

Xiao: Let me know when you're ready to go.

Xiao (Perilous Trails story quest): I've said so much today. But I don't need to hold back as much when I talk to you.

Shenhe about Xiao: My first impression of him was that he's not one to smile. After meeting him again more recently, however, he's still as reserved as ever, but... he seems a lot more relaxed now. Maybe he... met someone special.

Yenfei (Perilous Trail story quest): By the way, um... You and Xiao seem pretty close, huh?

Zhongli (3.4 lantern rite): Just as Xiao may seem unapproachable to most, but [Traveler] has proved otherwise.

Xiao (during 2023’s Lantern Rite): Whenever I think of the ordinary conversations I've had with you, it feels... strangely novel.

Traveler: Strange in a good way?

Xiao: Yes.

Ayaka

Ayaka’s character story 5: “Ayaka is still waiting for a friend to emerge who can walk alongside her on equal footing and stand by her side. That person cannot see her as a member of the Yashiro Commission, or as the Shirasagi Himegimi, nor will their conduct towards her be bound by decorum or status. And if possible, they might also be well-versed in a great many fields of study, and have witnessed all manner of interesting things... and perhaps they might even be able to tell her a story in a pinch. Only such a person might become Ayaka's bosom friend.”

The Traveler is Ayaka’s ideal companion, the exact kind of person she has been waiting for, possibly the only person who truly has the ability to understand her outside of Inazuman society’s perception of her. She finds Traveler interesting and exciting, a stark difference from her everyday life.

When they first met, the Traveler was disillusioned in their travels after briefly reuniting with their sibling, who dismissed them. Ayaka makes the effort to show them and remind them why they began their travels in the first place; the world and humanity is complex and interesting and beautiful, and it’s a worthwhile endeavor to understand and protect them. Ayaka regularly reminds the Traveler of this by being complex and interesting and beautiful herself. Traveler then goes to great lengths to protect Ayaka’s people, because they understand why they’re important to her.

Ayaka is trapped in Inazuma, while the Traveler has been all over the world. Traveler sends Ayaka things while on their travels, and Ayaka makes sure to keep and treasure them. Things that Ayaka has seen a million times are new and wonderful to the Traveler, showing these things in a new light to Ayaka. It makes Ayaka feel like a “regular girl,” something she wishes she could be more often. Traveler indulges Ayaka’s curiosity about the world outside Inazuma, and Ayaka is fascinated by how the Traveler sees the world. During the Warriors Spirit Event, Ayaka and Traveler both talk about how easy and natural it is to fight alongside one another. She says that Traveler always listens to her worries, but she feels like she’s losing in their relationship by not listening enough to Traveler’s issues. A trusted retainer, sensing how close Traveler and Ayaka are, asks Traveler to look out for her. The Traveler is shown to feel most comfortable with Ayaka and her family while in Inazuma. They both understand what it’s like to feel distant from a sibling.

Good Morning: Oh, good morning, Traveler. ...Whenever I see you in the morning, somehow, it makes me feel like... today is going to be a good day.

Aspiration: Today, as in the past, I aspire to be somebody whom everyone can trust. But what motivates me is no longer the responsibilities I shoulder, or the expectations of other people. Rather, it is the fact that you are this kind of person, too.

More about Kamisato Ayaka V: […] unless I am mistaken, I trust that you will not take issue with this slight departure from convention on my part… That is to say... I'm a little tired, may I rest my head on your shoulder? Just for a moment.

Desires: […] But even so, shouldn't I still follow my dreams? Shouldn't I... share my true feelings with you?

Ascension: Our time together has been so pleasant that I am fearful of losing what I have gained. I'm sorry, I must compose myself.

Kamisato Ayaka: At least, that's a romantic way of approaching this topic [poetry].

Traveler: I feel the same way.

Kamisato Ayaka: More importantly... I hope that, between the two of us, we need not be concerned with our identities...

Kamisato Ayaka: I'll just think of you as... my closest confidant.

Kamisato Ayaka: Being able to enjoy tea with my closest confidant — it feels like I'm in a dream...

(Closest confidant...)

Kamisato Ayaka: ...

Kamisato Ayaka: Can I... Hold your hand?

Ayaka (during her story quest): I will always be here for you as your... Ahem! As your friend. I will always support you.

Ayaka (during her story quest): I need to explain myself. I got a little nervous back there and... -I just made up any old excuse. But don't think of this as me taking you sight-seeing, please! I brought you here because… because I genuinely wanted to spend time with you.

Ayaka (during the Warrior’s Spirit Event): [Explaining that she was stressed out about a situation, but had decided against sending a letter to Traveler to ask their opinion on it.]

Traveler: We're friends, you can have my advice anytime. / I'd be happy to help however I can.

Ayaka: You've helped me many times before, and you've always lent me your ear when I speak about my troubles. But if I'm always turning to you for help, it almost feels like you're somehow besting me. Hehe, is it strange for a friend to think that way?

Traveler: Not at all. / I understand how you feel.

Ayaka: Thank you. I was really delighted to learn that you also entered the competition…

Traveler (during the Warrior’s Spirit Event, after Ayaka shows them her Fontaine outfit): This look really suits you. / It's a beautiful outfit and it suits you perfectly.

Ayaka: (during the Warrior’s Spirit Event, about a duel they just won together): Although the audience members might not have noticed, there were many moments where I would've been in trouble if it weren't for you by my side drawing away the opponent's attacks. Without you, it would've been impossible for me to win on my own. It's just as I expected, my swordsmanship is still far from your level.

Traveler: Ayaka, you helped me many times as well. / You're being too modest, Ayaka.

Ayaka: Really? Hearing you say that makes me want to spar with you all of a sudden. To tell you the truth, l've been hoping for an opportunity to spar with you ever since we first met. That wish was half fulfilled today at the exhibition match.

Traveler: Next time, we'll find a chance to go a few rounds.

Ayaka: Sure. But... until then, make sure you take good care of your sword. If I ever manage to steal it one day, your life will also be in my hands. Hehe... I've always wanted to say something like that. Did it sound strange?

Traveler: It sounded very much like Miss Orlith. / It was cute.

Ayaka: […] It's precisely because we're friends that we should spar often and learn from each other.

(Also, hoyoverse did NOT need to frame their conversation like this. Between the setting sun???? Crazy.)

Wanderer

The Traveler and the Wanderer are both parallels and ideological foils. They have both been betrayed and abandoned by family and loved ones, doomed to travel and wander the world in order to understand it better because of that.

But the Wanderer has learned humanity’s cruelty during these travels, mostly in the Fatui. He believes humans to be evil and self-serving, and so he acts that way too. And as an immortal, finds mortal limited lifespans cruel and unfair, clutching onto his grief and anger in a means to cope with what he cannot control.

Meanwhile, the Traveler has learned the beauty of humanity during their travels. They believe in the inherent goodness in everyone, and so they act that way. Curious and sensitive, like Wanderer before his three betrayals, even though Traveler has arguably been through just as much hardship as Wanderer (which may be a reason Wanderer held contempt for Traveler in the past). The Traveler is also an immortal being and knows of the reality of limited mortal lives. But instead of seeing it as cruel, Traveler sees the beauty in mortals living free and learning and growing in their limited lifetimes.

Their ideologies are in direct conflict. The Traveler’s ideology has led them to getting hurt often, while the Wanderer’s ideology has led him to being isolated. They have a lot to learn from one another. They have parallel scenes of saving one another in Wanderer’s story quest, maybe to allude to this.

AND, with the Wanderer having erased himself from everyone’s memory except the Traveler, the Traveler now is the only person to know the real Wanderer. Not only do they know all the evil Wanderer has done, (led to the death of Teppi which Traveler was famously angry about, tried to kill Nahida, etc), they know Wanderer’s history (seeing the flashbacks in Wanderer’s archon quest), and briefly met a version of Wanderer that is most like his personality before the betrayals. Traveler knows all sides of Wanderer, and is still his friend. Wanderer is perplexed by this, often expressing it in voicelines. But this means Traveler knows him the most, they own part of his identity as well, as Wander has allowed them to give him a new name. A new name that he has not let anyone use except the Traveler, preferring to go by “Hat Guy” in the Akademia.

The Summertide Scales and Tales events seems to have tipped Wanderer and Traveler over from reluctant allies, to friendly rivalry. While still being weary of him, the Traveler can’t help but seek Wanderer’s presence because they enjoy learning about his vastly differing perspectives on life. The Wanderer respects them because of their vast strength and knowledge. He has also presented Traveler with flowers once. Wanderer got his vision— the embodiment of his sense of freedom, the vessel of his new life— by saving the Traveler. Only by saving them did he free himself from his past and was able to start over. That’s kinda crazy lowkey.

About us, Rivals: So, you're still stewing over our run-ins from before? Huh. Well, what are you going to do about it? Take your time. I'm in no hurry.

(“Oooo you wanna kiss me so bad ooooo I’m in your head”)

About us, Collaborators: I'll never be one of the good guys. I'm just here to pay my dues after what you've done for me. But what about you? Shouldn't you come up with some excuse for our meetings? If one of your friends mistakes you for collaborating with the enemy, you're on your own.

(He makes the same excuses to be around Nahida, though his lore explains he does truly admire her. Just saying.)

About Damselette: Let me ask: what should you do if you were to encounter a "damsel" who is oblivious and innocent at any given time, and unconcerned and unfeeling in any given situation? If it were me, I could at least challenge her to a fight. But if it were you... with your conscience, I would stay away from her.

(He’s calling Traveler kind-hearted, calling out their optimistic ideology, and warding them away from danger with his more grounded/pessimistic ideology.)

Birthday: Give me your hand. Heh, there's no need to be nervous. I'm just taking you to a vantage point. How is it? The scenery here should be quite breathtaking. There's no need to thank me — I see little point in it.

(Wanderer): Thank you for trying to look out for me. Go get some rest.

Wanderer (his story quest): All you have to do is keep your pretty eyes open, and try not to fall behind.

Traveler (main Sumeru Archon quest, while they’re still enemies): Even if it means losing yourself, would you still want to become a god?

Wanderer: Hmph, those words almost make you sound like a friend who actually cares.

Wanderer, Imaginarium theatre: No, I don't want to "chat.” What are you making that face for? I thought you knew my deal by now. … *sigh*, Fine. You can talk, and I'll sit over there and listen. Happy now? .

Wanderer, after saving Traveler from falling to their death in the 4.8 summertide scales and tales event: Hmph, passed out from a little fall, did you? How fragile...

Wanderer, once Traveler woke up: Morning, sunshine. You were having a nice little dream there, weren't you? Not gonna lie, it was kind of adorable.

Jeht

Through the Golden Slumber world quest, it’s made very clear that the NPC Jeht is significantly [romantically] closer to the female Traveler Lumine. In the quest, they travel together for a time and become close. In a moment of crisis involving the Fatui, Jeht is ordered to kill Lumine, but refuses out of affection for her. She takes the punishment instead, and is offered to a Fatui scientist for experiments by her tribe. Jeht was told it was Lumine that betrayed her, and Lumine was told Jeht had betrayed the tribe, but neither of them chose to believe something bad about the other.

At the end of it all, Jeht chooses to fight by Lumine’s side over her other friends. Inspired by Lumine, Jeht decides to go on her own journey. Their goodbye is tearful. There is also White Day art of her giving Traveler a gift.

Lyney

Lyney has only known the Traveler for a short time, but they already have a checkered history. The Traveler trusts Lyney and his sister immediately after meeting them, hangs out with him for a few days, and defends him in murder trial. Only for it to be revealed Lyney was part of the Fatui, who the Traveler has an even worse history with, having killed their friends and put Traveler and their companions in mortal peril many times.

Lyney offers an apology and some of the truth, but the Traveler is still cold with him and brushes him off, believing themselves to be betrayed (and likely influenced by mixed feelings of seeing such close twins). Despite openly admitting to having difficulty with opening up, Lyney makes the effort to be open and truthful with the Traveler during his story quest, rebuilding trust between them. Lyney puts in extra effort to be honest, because he truly wants the Traveler to like him. He gives the Traveler a rainbow rose by the end of it, which even his sister marks as odd, because it represents passion and romantic love in Fontaine. His sister asks the Traveler to “protect that flower for her,” likely alluding to Lyney.

The Traveler trusts him after this enough to include him in the main quest again. Lyney remarks multiple times about how he feels close with the Traveler, how he enjoys talking with them, how the Traveler’s eyes shine like topaz and Lyney could never lie to such beauty. There’s also official White Day art of Lyney giving the Traveler chocolates.

In Arlecchino's story quest, he’s implied to have talked in detail about the Traveler to his other siblings, and is eager for the Traveler to like them. He is hesitant to involve the Traveler in family business, wanting to keep them safe and saying he will protect the Traveler with his life. The Traveler similarly shows the desire to protect Lyney, stepping in between him and his Father during conflict.

They resonate with one another concerning their twin siblings. Lyney having almost lost Lynette, and the Traveler being separated from their sibling. For the Traveler, this grew from jealousy to admiration, as they see Lyney caring so greatly for his family, a trait Traveler shares. Traveler understands and respects Lynsey’s loyalty to his (fatui) family, and would not be surprised if and when that loyalty drives them apart.

While they are close now after much effort rebuilding trust, they are both silently aware their friendship has an expiration date. Traveler’s goals contradict the Fatui. And with Lyney declaring his loyalty to the Knave as her successor, and this mysterious Fatui scheme the House of the Hearth have been roped into, they both know it’s just a matter of time before circumstance sees them on opposing sides of the battlefield. Though it remains unaddressed for now as they try to enjoy the time they have left together.

Hello: […] Well... Hmm, your eyes are like topaz, precious, pure, and lovely. I like them!

When it snows: Achoo! Phew... I've heard some say that when you sneeze, it means that someone's thinking about you. Is it Lynette, I wonder? Or... is it you?

Good Morning: C'mon, just five more minutes... Huh? Oh! It's you! I thought it was the radiance of the sunlight on my skin that I felt — turns out it was your radiance all along!

About Lyney, sweet talker: I should probably emphasize again that I'm rarely so open with anyone — I guess it's because you're not just anyone.

More about Lyney I: It seems we're both keenly interested in each other. Well, know that the honor is mine! Haha, relax. I couldn't ever tell lies to your mesmerizing eyes — not even if I tried!

More about Lyney V: […] Sometimes I think people would feel sorry for the real me. Do you? *sigh* Or do you find my little games absurd?

(Awwe he cares about what Traveler thinks.)

Ascension: Doing all this for me... Are you trying to steal this magician's heart, by any chance? Well, in that case, congratulations, my dear apprentice — or should I say, "companion." For you have succeeded!

Lyney: It's almost impossible for me to lie to your face... Maybe it's because I can't bear to see that hurt expression of yours.

Lyney: Say, why don’t you look at my hat? Do you see anything different about it?

Huh... Don't think there's any difference.

Lyney: Ah, but that just means you need to look at it more carefully! Just come a bit closer.

Well, alright then.

Lyney: […] No, the whole thing was misdirection.

Lyney: I just played a little trick, and stole something of yours. And after that, I also slipped a card into your bag.

Lyney: Now, can you guess what I stole from you?

My heart?

Lyney: A most unexpected answer! I have to say, even my heart has begun to race too.

Lyney: What I actually stole, however, was your "attention." Even though it's not nearly as valuable as your heart, it's still very important to us magicians nonetheless!

Lyney: […] Anyway, I just want to find a warm, free, and peaceful home for all of my animal assistants.

Lyney: A place where they'll always enjoy care and being lovingly looked after, with no need to worry about food or shelter...

Lyney: To be perfectly honest with you, this [Traveler’s teapot home] is by far the best choice for them that I know of... but I wouldn't want you to feel pressured to take them in, or to persuade you using honeyed words.

Lyney: Good morning, (Traveler)!

Lyney: It would be great if I could see you every morning.

Lyney (during Arleccino’s story quest when Traveler says they’re staying to help): I... just... Thank you. I was really hoping to keep you out of it, but even if I could think of some other reason to turn you away, I'm not sure I could convince you. I know things could turn dangerous, so I promise you this from now on, I'll protect you like my life depends on it.

Lyney (main Fontaine archon quest): Traveler, Paimon, I hope you enjoy the rest of the show. There may be a lot of people watching tonight, but you alone are my true witnesses.

Lyney (Receiver of Friends From Afar Event): Hehe, or maybe your cooking is simply too delicious to resist. The next time our paths cross in Fontaine, you'll have to fire up your cooking skills for my other siblings as well. How does that sound, oh great master chef?

Traveler: Whatever you say, oh great magician. / Whenever you're free, just set date!

Lyney: Oh yeah? Well then, I'll have to clear my schedule.

Lyney (his story quest I think?): I'll believe anything as long as it comes from you. So, please prove your prowess to me once again.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I asked my best friend to stop sharing his transition with me

[LSKDJFDJKFNLKDJFN keysmash so I can find later. Yeah it's me again] I know this sounds bad but please read the whole thing before you judge.

We're both trans men in our early 20s. We met online around 2021, and he realized he was trans and came out to me about a year or two later. I've known I'm trans since I was at least 16, probably earlier but that gets complicated. I've of course been supportive of him, I have no issue with him being trans in itself.

The problem has been arising because he's starting testosterone soon and I'm not currently able to. He has it so easy compared to me in general. Since we met, he's moved out with his partner, started working out, and now is even able to medically transition. Meanwhile, I'm stuck homeless in a motel room with my transphobic mother, trying to crawl out of a set of circumstances I was thrust into as a kid and piece my life together from almost nothing before I can even think of medical transition. I'm trying as hard as I can to be happy for him, I want him to be happy. But every time he brings up going on testosterone it fucking hurts. Like, I break down and start spiraling into self-harm habits in some sort of mix of jealousy and anger (at my circumstances & God, not my friend), I guess. I'm generally a jealous person toward all of my friends but I try my hardest not to make it their problems. It's not his fault I'm in the situation I'm in, I have no reason to take anything out on him. It just hurts so bad how much easier his life is than mine, in this specific way. None of the other aspects of his life make me break down this hard.

On the one hand, I don't want him to think I don't care, or am upset at him for this. It's obviously such a major, good thing for him, and it's not his fault I'm this jealous. He only brings it up like, once every few weeks, and I feel like I'm over-reacting. (I'm not gonna break up with him over this btw, if anyone suggests that I'm ignoring it)

On the other hand, it ruins my whole day when he brings it up. Like no matter how I try to think about it, I can't stand my life and I wish I could be in his place so goddamn bad and the reminders ruin me. It's not like I don't hide things from him either, if he knew the depths of my problems it'd ruin his day too.

BTW we're only online friends, he lives in a different state from me. This would probably be a bigger issue if we knew each other irl, I'm only able to hide how I feel because there's screens between us.

I just wanna know if I'd be an asshole if I told him to stop. Advice on how to deal with the jealousy would be rad too tho

[burst-of-iridescent]

I've actually seen people say that the line in TSR sounds like Zuko isn't about defending Katara but that Zuko thinks Aang's beliefs are silly, and he doesn't think it's not part of the "real world" or something. How would you explain that part? I hope this doesn't come off as aggressive, I just want to know your thoughts.

i think what a lot of people tend to forget about aang - mostly because the show loves to paint him as Eternally Right and Wise most of the time - is that we cannot take what he says about air nomad culture as the Word of God. this is not to say that his beliefs are wrong or immoral, but that his interpretation and understanding of those beliefs will be naturally influenced by the fact that he's only twelve years old.

we see multiple times in atla that aang's perspective of air nomad culture is contradicted by that of other air nomads. gyatso is found surrounded by dozens of fire nation corpses that he undoubtedly killed. yangchen tells aang directly that his moral and spiritual duty is to kill ozai, regardless of his own feelings on the matter. clearly, then, neither of these two practiced absolute pacifism and both of them have years of experience and learning on aang. that is why simply reading, or studying, or parroting what other, more learned people have told you does not make you an expert on your culture - because the final component of genuine understanding comes from practice, from living and experiencing and putting your beliefs to the test, tempering them in the fire, questioning those that don't hold up and renewing your faith in those that do.

the problem arises from the fact that aang never does this, because he simply does not yet have the life experience to critically think about what he was taught! and that's fine, but it's also why it grinds my gears when people act as though aang was some kind of moral authority in the southern raiders, because he is very much still a child with a child's understanding of his culture.

that is what zuko means when he says that this isn't air temple preschool, but the real world (not a nice or polite remark, for sure, but also not without an element of truth to it). zuko is not calling aang's beliefs "silly", but he is calling out the fact that aang is not in a position to lecture others using beliefs that he himself does not - in fact, cannot - yet fully comprehend since he does not have the time and learned experience necessary for said comprehension.

and there was a much better narrative there about how aang clings to what he was told about his culture because it's all he has left of it, and how truly honoring his people's legacy means critically engaging with his cultural beliefs rather than enshrining them, allowing him to become a fully realized air nomad instead of remaining forever crippled by his grief - but sadly that's not the narrative we got, since aang had to be Unquestionably Right, and that's why we're still stuck dealing with discourse like this.

[lol-jackles]

At the Crossroads 8 convention this past weekend Misha was in “spectacular” form. Is he irrelevant enough to get away with saying the things he did (see below), or could this negatively impact him at all? Also, how likely is it he’ll behave like this at his next con that Jensen is at?

“I’m the one who f***** you hard and raised you from perdition”

https://x.com/sarahjay55/status/1784617852156157955?s=46&t=wx4CnlP_QMqkNn_0DvA9HQ

“If the CW had been less homophobic then Dean and Cas would definitely have been balls deep."

https://x.com/raths_kitten/status/1784630676689490335

He said a slur

https://x.com/raths_kitten/status/1784630981334385116

And finally he was in a “foul mood” at some of his ops (not a new occurrence I know)

https://x.com/raths_kitten/status/1784519380711190889

Link. Link. Link. Link. Is he irrelevant? Yes, with the general audience since 2013 (season 9) and hence why he thought his fake bisexual coming out announcement wouldn't get picked up by People mag. And now he's becoming irrelevant in the SPN fandom as well and why he's going hard with the Destiel-baiting again. Recurring and side actors are known to queerbait their characters because they don’t get residuals from syndication deals so what do they care if they mislead a few fans. Misha is in the same boat because he's been demoted a few times on SPN and hence less residuals, especially over time.

While I actually don't ding Misha for queerbaiting his paying fans, but he shouldn't be slamming the network that helped him stay employed for a decade, no matter how irrelevant he is now. A simple google search will show that GLAAD had praised CW for their abundance of LGBT+++ characters.

The day Misha doesn’t queerbait Destiel is the day you know aliens are real and they replaced Misha with a pod-man who finds the idea of Destiel as ridiculous as the rest of us do.  

"He said a slur"

Come on dude, you know you should be saying "the f word and the h word" instead, it's not hard. I'm older than Misha and I've known for over 30 years you're not supposed to say the slur unless you're a member of the community with intent of ~reclaiming the slur (even though I think the idea of reclaiming is dumb).

"he was in a “foul mood”

As you said, this is a regular occurrence. It's his entitlement mentality problem that is partly due to his upbringing in a liberal elite education system that train their students to have contempt for the working class. Misha project this contempt toward his fans. When you're an entertainer, you work for the fans no matter the number, small or large. Musicians sing their hearts out whether they’re rocking in an arena or a club because they do it for the fans that showed up.   Most actors struggle too much for me to condemn them for grabbing financial success when the opportunity arises, but they should be professional towards the fans, especially in a controlled setting.

Sidenote, this is what happens when you send a father-less child to an elite liberal private school, they become entitled and then angry when their entitlements don't pan out. Think of the Occupy movement in the U.S that was opposing the 1%-ers by activists who are the 2-5-ers% who want to become 1%-ers but unable and their attitudes were result of expanding university system that created a large class of disgruntled elite-wannabes chasing too few elite places in society (X).

[lovemyromance]

Let's talk about the dreaded pliant bones argument in ACOTAR

First of all, I don't ever want to see this stupid argument anywhere, especially after HOFAS. Second of all, none of the Archeron sisters are Illyrian so they do not have Illyrian anatomy suitable for childbirth. And yet, we see Feysand and Nessian as mates. So it's not like SJM even cared about that herself.

Then ACOSF happens, and oh no, c-sections don't apparently seem to exist and it becomes a BIG DEAL™ that Nesta changed only her own body and Feyre's body to have Illyrian anatomy.

People have been latching onto this argument like Rose on the goddamn Titanic, anything to cling to their sinking ship.

Let's not forget that Elain & Nesta had their bodies changed already once before, against their will. Why the hell would Nesta change Elain's body without obtaining consent after that traumatic experience? That would be a gross violation of bodily autonomy.

And Nesta was shown how to change the bodies. Which could hint that she still knows how, should a similar situation arise again.

But none of that even matters! What matter is that it's 2024 and we are still saying a woman can't be with the man she loves because she can't give him biological children. That is the crux of the argument Gw*nriels always try to skip around and say without saying. Like "oh no!! She can't have his babies!! Ship sank. It's over. The End."

As if a woman should be reduced down to her ability to procreate. This is not the middle ages people! Wake up!

Also, not to mention, even if we use that disgusting logic - The only other female in this series that is mentioned to have Illyrian anatomy is Emerie. Are we shipping Azriel with Emerie now? Because she can FOR SURE have his babies, if that's all that matters. Who cares about her own desires and personality and sexual preferences if she can have illyrian kids??

Now let's consider what people have been latching onto:

Gwyn...is flexible and adapts to training moves quickly. That's why Nesta commented she had "pliant bones", that's IT. She is part nymph and "has different anatomy than high fae", sure, but is that anatomy in any way, Illyrian? Water nymphs don't have Illyrian leathery wings either so I don't understand why insisting Gwyn has "pliant bones" is in any way endgame ship material. Why would her half-water nymph heritage give her the anatomy to birth a full grown illyrian-winged baby??

And then there's the cowards that use this argument by hiding behind SJM herself by saying "Well, I hate it too, but SJM is *kinda* known for writing like this and her characters are all male-dominated, fae-territorial blah blah, she is *kinda* hinting at endgame because the womb thing–" NO. No.

Don't hide. Tell the room exactly what you are saying. Which is the exact same misogynistic spiel as above, where you try to use gross medieval logic to justify your mf fictional ship, but you hide your faces when you say it. Because you know it's wrong, but you're still not above using that as "evidence" in your ship's favor.

I've even said before, I don't care what SJM says. If I don't like a misogynistic take, I am not using that as evidence in any capacity for any reason.

I'm not even being biased by my preferred ship. I genuinely just want people to stop using this argument because it's hurtful to women as a whole. Ship wars are fine, but ffs, when did we get to the point where we are pitting two women against each other based on whose uterus is more suitable??

And before you even say "I just have a problem because I ship Elriel" No. No.

It's about these kinds of cheap arguments in general. I have also never been one to go off saying how Gwyn can't be a valid love interest because her past SA trauma - That argument is also archaic and hurtful. I've never once used it. I don't like seeing it.

Can we just - Not do it? The only reason such arguments have gained traction is because they're constantly echoed by the toxic sides of the fandom online. It's gross and I don't want to be a part of a group that condones that.

Ship who you want, but let's just be respectful about it. We should not have to resort to cheap arguments like the above.

[nanaminokanojo]

THAWING ICE QUEEN (part 12)

–one night of fooling around with the annoying campus king gojo satoru (he thinks so), turns into...well, something else more long term

CHARACTERS: gojo satoru x you | geto suguru | jjk characters

GENRE: college au | eventual smut | smau | smau + prose | everything in between | ons | fubus to lovers | aged-up characters | idk where this is going

⚠️ TW/CW: strong/mature language | 🔞 | mentions of alcohol, smoking, etc. | this will most likely have narrations | god-awful pet names | will add more if something arises

MASTERLIST | CHAPTER INDEX

<<prev part 12 next>>

NOTE: This has narration in prose.

~*~

-

-

-

Gojo Satoru was one persistent man, you gotta give him that. When he said your wish is his command, he delivered, so you don't really have any excuses to further refuse him. He took your opinion on the contract seriously, passed it by you without fail and exceeded expectations. You had the choice to stop whatever madness the two of you were cooking up, so you had that as a buffer to see how things go.

It's a very different situation for the both of you. Neither of you had been in bed with the same person twice. You thought that was convenient, spares you from that awkward phase of having to deal with the messy things that come along with commitment. But regardless of how much you and Satoru reiterate on the point of having no strings attached, it was still a form of commitment. You didn't know yet whether you liked the nature of that bond regardless if it was limited to the physical aspect.

But it was convenient. You could admit at least that. If it's just sex, then you wouldn't have to go through the motions of meeting people, getting to know them enough to say they're not psychos and establishing that mutual agreement of never seeing each other again. Satoru was familiar ground for once, and you more or less knew what to expect from him with the security of a written agreement adding to your supposed security.

Now it was a game of waiting to see who is gonna crack first, but that's a problem for future you. It's arrogant to think that there are no consequences to what you are about to involve yourself in because there will be, and you knew neither of you are stupid as to deny that. Accepting that fact is the first step. You'll deal with the mess later.

Or maybe you two were really stupid to be considering it at all. Either way, you didn't really care about the intricacies of it as much as you were annoyed over the fact that Satoru was taking away what you wanted to be a peaceful afternoon. Tolerance sure wasn't his strongest suit as expected of a rich brat who didn't know how it feels to be denied and done have the slightest understanding of the word no.

"You're gonna make me neighbors think I got into a tangle with loan sharks, Gojo," you said the moment you opened the door for him, unable to help it but ogle him. He was clad in gray sweats, a black shirt that fit him so damn well, his platinum hair mussed under a white, Balenciaga baseball cap.

He looked at you from under his cap, those gloriously blue eyes twinkling as he broke into a grin. "Well, you do owe me kisses, sweetheart."

Rolling your eyes, you cocked your head to the side, inviting him in, prompting his next comment: "I see how you're related to Sukuna when you move like that."

You chuckled. "I know how you think he was raised by brigands." You looked over your shoulder with a smirk. "You can opt out of our arrangement now."

Satoru caught up to you, blocking your way to the living room. He bent down to your height, booping you on the nose with his index finger. "Is that a roundabout way of saying you want out? You haven't even signed yet." He waved the file he was holding in front of you. "Ammended and reviewed as you've requested."

You took it, pushing past him and plopping down on the couch. You patted the space next to you as you opened the file, startled when he jumped right onto the spot, also making you bounce on the plush seat.

You momentarily glared at him but he just scooted closer, pointing at the sheaf of papers. "The things you wanted added are highlighted in yellow."

You quietly read the things he indicated, rifling through pages with your eyes. All the while, you could feel Satoru's blue orbs on you, his fingers toying with the tips of your hair. From your periphery, you could see him breaking into a soft smile, so different from his cocky, mischief-filled cheshire grins. Your planned glance turned into a sidelong stare as you whipped your head to actually look at him.

To your dismay, his expression was replaced by surprise, making that smile disappear as if it hadn't even been there in the first place.

"What?"

You shook your head, thinking you probably just imagined it. "Where do I sign?"

You made quick work of that after Satoru indicated where you were to sign, handing him the pen and also watching him do the same.

"And that's a done deal!" he declared, slapping the pen on the coffee table before twisting on his waist to look at you. "Congratulations, I'm exclusively yours."

"Thanks for saying my line for me." You shrugged, feeling the awkwardness of the situation now that your "giggle fits" about the whole contract, as Satoru had termed it, had died down. "So..."

"May I kiss you now?" he interrupted your thoughts, invading your space as he leaned forward, his eyes shifting slowly from your eyes and your lips.

You didn't fail to notice how he emphasized on asking for your permission this time instead of asking whether he was capable of it. "If you're always gonna choose your words like this..." You knocked his cap off his head with one hand while the other glided up from his shoulder to his nape. You pulled him closer, your lips just millimeters from his. "...instead of being such a tactless bastard all the time, I might actually enjoy this more."

He looked at you with hooded eyes. He wasn't one to be distracted from his goals. "So, may I, sweet cheeks?"

"Yes, you mmph –"

Satoru's plush lips were on yours in a split second, pressing gently yet the fact that he was holding back was evident in the way he gripped onto your waist as if he was trying to tether himself to you. He moved his lips against yours in languid motions as if he was testing the waters. You let him although you wondered at that knowing how hungry and all-consuming his kisses can be from experience.

You didn't dislike it, even the way he would pull away in the smallest fractions to nip at your lips before he would give them tiny kitten licks. It was enticing watching him take his time, making you reciprocate in the same small actions but mostly letting him have at it. Satoru's large hands moved from where he was keeping you steady on your arms up to the sides of your neck, his thumb brushing against your jawline.

Just then, he wrenched his eyes from intently paying attention to your lips to meet yours, blinking slowly and absently licking his lips. Satoru looked at you as if he couldn't believe you were in front of him, again breaking into that genuine smile.

"You're so pretty, sweet cheeks," he mumbled, looking absolutely out of it.

You were tempted to snort at his compliment but at the same time, you couldn't, unable to extricate yourself from the moment. This was a new side to him you're seeing for the first time. "That's one kiss today, Gojo."

At that, the spell seemed to have broken as he placed his forehead on your shoulder, chuckling. "You're keeping count?" He blindly fished for something in his pocket before taking your hand in his and pressing something onto your palm.

Before you could look and ask what it was, his lips were on yours again, less experimental this time. He licked at the seam of your mouth, pushing his tongue into it and seeking yours. You gasped when he finally found it, groaning when you responded in kind. Your ears were ringing, your head filled with nothing but the way he tasted in your mouth and the way he was possessively holding you against his taut form while his fingers drew circles on the small of your back.

And just as you were getting used to him and what he was doing to you, he pulled away, your lips parting with a wet sound. You swallowed hard, startled by the sudden loss of contact, and quite frankly, pissed off as well.

He wrapped your fingers on the thing he put in your hand, realizing it was some sort of card. As if he read your mind, he said, "Your key to my private place in the city. I'll text you the address."

With one last peck to your lips which were slightly parted from being flustered, he stood up, putting on his cap. And then he turned to look at you. "Sorry, sweetheart. I have class in half an hour with Yaga." He grinned. "Don't look so disappointed now. I'll make it up to you tomorrow."

You scoffed, also standing up as you regained composure. "Who says I am?" You shook your head, catching sight of the contract on the table. "Take those with you. I don't need Yuki or Iori finding those here."

Satoru laughed, taking your hand and twining his fingers with yours before raising it to his lips and winking at you. "See you tomorrow."

-

~*~

TAGS LIST: @arxliana @neeneee @charlie-xo @aelynaneedsalottathing @arizzu @cloudxp

© ORIGINAL WORK BY nanaminokanojo. CHARACTERS ARE INSPIRED BY GEGE AKUTAMI'S JUJUTSU KAISEN. [20230720]

PHOTO/IMAGE/GIF/FANART CREDITS TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS.

[holywizardheart]

Astrology observations part 15

|DISCLAIMER!|

Don't copyright my work ❌

The pictures aren't mine ⚠️

Enjoy your reading 🍑

🌷Having a moon in the 3rd house can mean that you can’t live without interaction. Like you constantly need people’s validation or support. I noticed that they always need someone to talk to or discuss several topics.

🌷My observation about this moon placement is they love cars. In astrology, 3rd house can mean what type of car you prefer or how you drive. And I noticed that they just love discovering car brands or learning new information.

🌷Next, it’s Saturn in the 3rd house. Wherever your Saturn is placed gives restriction or issues with the sphere. So 3rd house is about connecting with people as we know. Also, how do we assimilate information and how do we explain it to other people. Besides, it can show our style of communication. Having Saturn in the 3rd house can give issues with expressing yourself with words. You can have so many ideas or different opinions but you’re scared of criticism and judgements. And this is the main reason why you have to work on your insecurities or difficulties. All people have their complexes and we must deal with the source of the problem.

🌷3rd house in Leo people is very fun to talk to. They can be a little loud or distractive.  They know how to attract people’s attention. Good at joking or have a good humour. People love being around them because it’s fascinating.

🌷3rd house in Capricorn people is the serious talkers or discussers. They have a responsible approach to everything. When they talk all the people always are listening to them because it’s very important. Logical and rational thinkers. Also, I noticed that they’re really good at solving problems and have a pessimistic approach to life. People respect them and follow their advice.

🌷3rd house in Scorpio people don’t like talking especially in public. I wouldn't call them very sociable and friendly. Very careful with personal information and don’t share secrets just like that. Carefully choose the words before what to say.

🌷3rd house in Virgo honestly I have this. So for me, it’s really hard to express what is inside my head. I often have anxiety when I’m speaking my mind or discussing something. I worry a lot and sometimes I care what people think. As we know Virgo is ruled by Mercury and that speaks for itself. Anxiety and overthinking regularly pursue me.

🌷Gemini in the 3rd house they definitely have good communication skills from what I noticed. It's all thoughts connecting from one to another very quickly and they're pretty darn good at articulating them too. It's very fast, very alert, very creative, and very eloquent.

🌷Neptune in the 8th house can mean you may think that something bad will happen in the future. It can even appear as paranoia or haunting thoughts. Also, this does not happen on purpose, they just arise by themselves. You imagine how the situation is turning for the worse.