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#before you even allow yourselves to lean into each other as two people should taking on something this heavy
settle-down-frohike · 6 months
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“It didn’t take did it?”
Is the most heartbreaking line in the entirety of all 11 seasons and 2 movies of The X-Files.
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joonipertree · 1 year
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thinking about how sometimes, you're 21 and still living with your parents. They're not nice, you don't want to but for whatever reason you stay where they do. And it kills you because the freedom that you crave for should be yours, but it isn't. You want to run away, want to climb out of the box they set you in but being diplomatic is what you settle for.
Dabi lived as a stray for a long time, for fucked up reasons, you could tell from his scars. Would he turn back time? To when he was still Touya? He could still run away, still say fuck everything and leave. But maybe a son needs unbearable proof that his father is not good for him.
There's bittersweet feelings about his scars, you have bittersweet feelings about your dependence on your family. You two meet one day.
It was after a rough week, your legs moved out of the house before you realised it when your mother's deafening silent treatment got unbearable. Her tone, her stare, her cold shoulders shaved you off from the sides. You were infuriated by her childish behaviour, hurting like a child that you no longer were and all you wanted was to either die or get a hug.
You end up running into the League of Villains instead. They were just swarming the streets, looking for fun and probably food. They glared at you, Toga's sharp teeth glinting under the street light. You wondered how wayward you had become to go between alleyways and stalk into an unknown place.
You wanted to die but not that violently.
A sniffle escapes you though, your cheeks streaked with tears that had been flowing the whole way. You let them drip down, let the little warmth from accumulated sadness comfort you. It sat icy cold on you but your hands were stubborn on not moving.
"Ah! A friend, a friend! Maybe they can feed us! Hi! Can you help a sis out--" Toga hopped forward.
"Okay." You said, cringing at the lack of impulse control. They would take your money anyways, at least you could come out unscathed.
Everyone was shocked, even the person who asked but you dug through your bag and took out some crumpled loose notes. Not a lot, not enough for everyone and not enough to be able to keep some for a motel.
(You should've gotten your allowance before----
You should've gotten a job
You should've just stopped being a disappointment)
But, you'd wait for the sun to rise somewhere and figure out if you wanted to go back or not. (It was already extremely unsafe but you'd lost any emotion at that point, fear gone with your tears.)
"Take it." You said while extending your hand to the young girl. She was in a high-school uniform, you wondered if she'd be okay.
"You're a weirdo, thank you so much!" A blonde, masked guy had spoken a bit too loudly for your liking. It made you flinch.
You knew you were making a mistake, knew that you were lost and finding a way back home would take time and that you never wanted to step inside that house ever again. You were being reckless, an idiot but the numbness wouldn't budge and you were still doing this to survive.
"What's a little thing like you doing here, though?" The very obvious leader of the gang said after he was handed the money.
"My mom's being a cunt."
The laughter that followed was surprising but welcomed, you never got to say it. No one around you would approve of it but these strangers seemed to embrace it wholeheartedly.
One person caught your attention, his body leaning against the wall as his chest shook from the strength of his laughter. He was sharp edges, scarred patches and a pretty smile with jagged canines. He was pretty.
"God, needed that. What's your name?" The white haired leader asked.
You introduced yourselves to each other, only the tall guy with black hair and a pretty smile said nothing. You were intrigued, maybe because you'd become used to silence too much. Or maybe it was because his laughter made you curious about how his voice sounded. But initiating conversations with hot people (he was undeniably hot), was never your forte.
It took a while, of them inviting you to eat ramen in an empty parking lot (you knew you were being naive for thinking they wouldn't harm you but they shared ramen with you. It was your own money but the thought was counted.) and the goth guy came next to you eventually.
He stood tall, cigarette hanging from his mouth and back leaning against a wall. You were silent but eyed him, ingraining the shape of him into your head. You wondered if maybe he found you intriguing with that ever-present bored expression on his face.
You hope he did.
"I'm Dabi. My dad's a cunt too."
A/N: wrote this as catharsis but @dabislittlemouse I thought of u too when I wrote it
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stevenssticks · 1 year
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okayy but like .. imagine the fuck you’d get frm Jason after he say uu with another guy ?!! “Your mine, you know that right??” “You wouldn’t let anyone touch you like I do”
😭😭 he’d be so rough but after we know he gives the best after care !! Anyways 🤭🤭
- 🌎 anon
ARGH ok so i can imagine this w jason but you’re friends w benefits yk. you SWORE not to catch feelings for each other but cmon it’s hard not to. the two of you are falling all over yourselves trying to hide it. your method? going out and seeing other people. it’s not like you and jason are COMMITTED or anything….
you’re at a bar, chatting with some guy who is a solid 5 but it’s fine. he’ll have to do. and then jason walks in. you see him out of the corner of your eye staring right at you and the man across from you looking like he’s just about ready to explode. he saunters over to the bar, and you go back to your conversation all the while jason is still watching you like a hawk. suddenly the man in front of you drags his hand up your thigh, leaning over to whisper in your ear, and jason decided he’s had enough. he appears next to you.
“can we talk for a moment?” without even allowing you to reply before he takes your hand and drags you out of the bar and toward his apartment, you in tow complaining about how that guy is gonna be left hanging and whatnot.
moving along…
i don’t actually think jason would be much of a talker. actions speak louder than words am i right? he would have you ass up face down on his bed. hand between your shoulder blades to push your chest down and make your back arch. you could hear him murmuring “fuck fuck, you’re mine, all mine” like a feral dog from where he’s slamming into you. hips slapping deliciously against your ass.
suddenly he would pull you up, back to chest in a bear hug so he could reach down to rub your clit in tight circles while he grunts and moans in your ear between leaving kisses and bites all along your shoulders and neck. keeping up his brutal pace. you would be in literal tears at this point, him taunting you for it.
“awh, is my girl crying? you feeling that good? yeah…. lemme see those pretty tears honey.”
as you cum he would move the hand not working your clit up to your face to push your head to the side so you two could meet in a messy kiss. fireworks exploding all up your spine, legs turning to jelly as you feel him grunt and then cum inside you.
he would let you go and you would flop down onto the bed, now fully sobbing and so emotional after such a hard fuck. like an emotional release of sorts. jason would come up next to you and take you in his arms. telling you “you did so good for me, baby. so proud of you.”
“i should talk to other guys more often if it’s gonna get you that worked up.” jason laughs at this. but he knows something between you has shifted. he keeps you close, massaging your hips as you fall asleep on him. now he’s gotta come up with a plan to ask you out on a date.
jase… jassssoooonnnnn. jason. i luv him so much.
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You broached the question over a night of thai food take-out and queueing various jazz music on your spotify.
"I need a plus-1 for my cousin's wedding."
Neiman gave you a look, mid egg-roll-bite. "Nobody needs a plus-1."
"I ticked the box on the RSVP, and I don't want food to go to waste, and I don't want to look like a loser in front of my extended family." You reached your chopsticks over to his plate and took a lump of his pad thai. "That's why you need to come with me."
He snorted. "This is probably the first time someone has asked me to be their date to a wedding instead of their entertainment."
"Alright well I'm not asking you to be my date, I'm asking you to make me look less pathetic in front of my family."
"Because I already-"
"Look pathetic, see, you're way ahead of me."
"Okay." He took another bite of his egg roll. "Yeah, sure. Whatever, I'll do it. Since you need me so bad."
"Here's one off the soundtrack of In The Mood For Love, be quiet."
That's how the pair of you found yourselves in the corner of the lamest wedding reception known to man, you bitching about various family drama and him silently listening to you(or completely zoning out, to be fair he was looking very intently at a centerpiece at your table and not at you).
"That's why Uncle Richard isn't allowed at Sara's barbeques anymore. Are you going to eat your cake?" Your plate was empty, save for a couple of crumbs, but Neiman hadn't even touched his fork.
"No, no, uh. I'm just thinking right now."
"Well stop." You took his fork and scooped up a piece of the chocolate cake in front of him. "Don't make me make airplane noises in front of people that have changed my diapers when I was a baby."
"Jesus fuck, fine. You're so fucking weird." He took the fork from you and stuffed the cake into his mouth. "Happy?"
"You live to make me happy."
"That's why I'm here, huh?"
You leaned back in your seat, giving him a rather pleased grin. Neiman rolled his eyes and gave you his own, more amused than pleased, grin.
"Why did you invite me?" He prodded.
"I told you, you're a pawn in my family mind-games."
"Yeah, but why did you tick the plus-1 box on the invite in the first place? It's not like you were cornered into saying you were bringing someone."
"I guess I just wanted to bring you." You absentmindedly picked at the crumbs on your plate. "I like being around you."
"O-oh." Andrew fidgeted with his hands. "Uh, me too." His ears were starting to tinge pink under the dim fairy lights.
For the first time since the ceremony you had fallen completely silent. The two of you just looked at each other(although outsiders may classify it as "gazing"), weighing the implications of a seemingly innocuous wedding invite. You were the first to break.
“Should we– um… should we head out now?”
“Oh, uh sure.”
“It’s just, I think I’ve exhausted my weird family stories.” You let out a nervous chuckle.
“Sure, yeah, sure.” The chuckle had seemingly also infected Andrew. You collected your various wares into you small handbag (which went very well with your outfit), and reached your hand out as you stood up. Andrew seemed to study it for a fraction of a second, before also standing up, taking your clammy hand in his equally sweaty one. You were in too deep now, but who cares. Nobody was looking at you. Except for Andrew, who was very much looking at you.
“Let’s go call a cab.”
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lesbian-deadpool · 2 years
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Happy Little Accidents
Part Two: Hope (Re-write)
Natasha Romanoff x Reader
Words: 4,245
Warnings:  Crying/light angst, adoption process, stress, so many emotions.
Request: Nope.
Summary: After a long and tedious “battle” with the adoption system, you finally get your daughter back.
A/N: I wholly believe that Valentines Day should be about all forms of love, not just romantic. Hence this family fic! When I originally wrote this, I knew I could do it better, but my writers block wouldn’t allow that to happen, so I decided to re-write it now.
Ko-Fi
Commissions
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(Not my pics)
---
The adoption process was complex and complicated.
You probably should have assumed that walking into it.
Being a pair of Avengers did nothing to help in that aspect.
Not really.
On one hand, you were well-known across the globe- Household names even, be that of words good and foul.
But on the other hand, you were dangerous people. You would admit that yourselves. People with trauma and violent pasts -and futures to come, in your line of work- with more enemies between Natasha and yourself than you could begin to count. Some of which you didn't even know existed.
Honestly, who in their right mind would ever allow a child to be raised in that environment?
People have been turned down for much less.
However.
The Avengers were essentially celebrities.
And as everyone knows, that came with a lot of special treatment. Even if most of -if not all- of your team denied accepting any of it.
But in this case?
For Hope?
Your daughter?
You would do whatever you had to. Take whatever help and/or special treatment you could to get the child back in your home and where she belonged.
So, it was thanks to that, that you even had the opportunity to be considered for adoption.
And there was so much work that had to be done.
Papers to sign, meetings to attend, visits and screenings everywhere you looked. And so much more that clouded your mind.
It was a long and tedious journey.
And you still had a long way to go. The end still far in sight.
"This is pointless," you spoke from your seat on the couch, thumbs pressed against your temples, folded fingers cradling your forehead, as your girlfriends pottered around, cleaning the already sparkling apartment up.
"I know it is," Natasha said, voice just as dull as yours, as she finished fluffing a pillow, placing it back onto the couch.
"We're moving. They've already seen the house. We're not even planning on bringing Hope here. I don't get why they feel the need to evaluate this place."
"Y/N, I agree with you. I do." Natasha spun on her heel, gesturing her arms out to you in a stressed manner. "But this is just something that we have to do. No matter how illogical it may be."
With a sigh, you leaned your head back, running a hand through your hair while Natasha continued on with her stress cleaning.
"I'm sure they're trying to find drugs or weapons that we've left out or something, just to deny us."
"Could you not be so pessimistic? I thought that was my job," the redhead tried to joke, "And anyway, what more do you expect. You popped a pill in front of them before."
Your head snapped up at that. "I had a broken arm, and it was scheduled! I explained that to them, but they still looked at me like I was abusing the drugs."
It was her turn to sigh, but this time in guilt, coming over to straddle your lap, hands softly massaging the tension out of your shoulders.
"I know, and I'm sorry." It was a soft moment between the two of you, inside the eye of all the chaos your lives had become. Just relishing in the feeling of being together, foreheads pressed against the other, eyes closed, and taking calming breaths in sync with each other. "This has just got us so stressed," she stated needlessly, "I don't blame you for that." A peck to your lips. "Not in the slightest. They're just so overly critical because of what we do that it's nervewracking, and we have to walk on eggshells with them."
"I still want to punch her for bringing up your past like that."
Natasha smiled at how protective you were over her. Hands trailing from your shoulders to cradle the back of your neck. "You can want to all you like. As long as you don't actually do it."
"But it would be so satisfying."
At your mischievous words, the love of your life pressed her lips firmly against yours, leaving you to feel her smile against your skin, soon pulling you into one of your own.
It quickly turned into a make-out session, with the woman softly running her thumbs across your ears and your hands trailing up her back, pulling her further against you, basking in one another's love.
However, it wasn't meant to last. As not long later, you were interrupted by a knock at the door of your temporary apartment, signalling the case worker was here.
"Oh, God, I haven't finished cleaning up," Natasha rushed from your lap, panic washing over her like a tsunami, with you following just as quick.
Placing your hands on her shoulders, just like she did with you not that long ago, you spoke to her in a comforting tone, "Hey, don't worry. The place looks like Cinderella lives here, okay? It's perfect. Everything will be fine."
"God, I hope you're right," she breathed, watching as you strode over to answer the door and allow the woman to step inside the, quite frankly, spotless abode.
---
With your arms folded across your chest, you watched as someone picked apart your home with a keen eye, knowing they were trying to find anything incriminating against you and your girlfriend.
"And where will the child be sleeping."
You had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes at the woman, having told her you were midway through moving to a new home many times already.
"Not here," you stated.
Natasha jabbed her elbow into your ribs, scolding your dry statement and tone, "Uh, we already filed our move to the agency a few months ago. You've seen the house."
"Can I ask why you're still living here, then?"
"Well, we're just prepping the new home so that it's ready when we move in."
"'Prepping' how?" she asked suspiciously.
Shooting the woman a questioning look, you explained, "We painted a few rooms a couple days ago, and we're just letting it air out. We want it fully livable before we move in."
The woman hummed, nodding gently before scribbling something down in her notes.
If you could throw your arms up into the air out of exasperation and annoyance, you would, but you knew it would only make things more difficult for you to get Hope back. So, instead, you had to hold back your eye roll and sigh deeply.
At least you had some comfort in the form of Natasha rubbing circles into your back.
"And when will you be planning on moving in?"
"We're hoping in the next few weeks."
Another hum and more scribbled notes at Natasha's friendly words.
"Can I see the new house?"
"You've already been there?" you said.
"Is there a reason why you would not want me to see it again?"
"No. No, of course not," you gave in quickly, hating the way Natasha bunched up your shirt in her fist in reaction to the woman's question, "You wanna go right now?"
"That would be great."
You didn't know why your caseworker insisted on acting this way.
Feigning ignorance and asking repeated questions when the answers would only stay the same. If only to catch you out on a lie that wasn't there.
All you wanted was for your little girl to come home. Where she belongs.
---
You had purchased the house not too long ago, maybe a little over two months, and in that time, it had been looked at three times by the same woman who acted like she didn't even know of its existence.
To the adoption agency, it seemed like you were hardly doing anything to the place, considering you were busy working and renovating the whole house, at the same time.
The day after you and Natasha had to say goodbye to Hope, you knew that you had to get a bigger place than the apartment you had both shared in the city. And began looking for new homes the very same day.
It had taken a long time of scouring the many retail sites and an insane amount of open house walks to finally find the perfect home for you to begin your little family.
The home was large. Well… bigger than your one-bedroom apartment, at the very least.
It was a traditional-looking, colonial place in Long Island. With white panelling lining the outside, four bedrooms with a porch out front, a large front and back yard, and even a pool at the back.
It would take a lot of work before it would get to how you and Natasha wanted it for your growing family.
But it was a perfect place to start.
You had considered getting a place, possibly a townhouse, in the city. So as to be close to S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ -where you both now worked the majority of the time. As when Fury found out that you were both trying to adopt Hope, he wouldn't accept otherwise, though there were no complaints from either of you. He even went as far as to lower your hours and take you off of missions altogether. Just until you were all settled- but had decided against it. You and Natasha had the picture of teaching Hope how to ride a bike when she was old enough. Of ice cream trucks driving the streets and family memories of summers in the backyard.
Tony's help wasn't needed, you had plenty of money, but he had insisted. And with how sneaky he could be, he would find a way to pay for the home, no matter what.
So, you relented.
Letting the billionaire pay for your home, and you would cover the renovation expensive -even if Tony wanted to pay for that too- and the man also helped plan the renovation.
"Oh, a lot has changed since the last time I was here."
"Oh, so now you remember," you mumbled, to yourself, as you closed the door while Natasha escorted the roman through the entryway.
"What was that, dear?"
"Huh? Oh, nothing. Just said that the door needs another lick of paint." You pointed behind you with your thumb.
Natasha shot you a knowing look. However, the caseworker believed you, with no further questions.
"Would you like another tour?" Natasha offered the woman, who accepted gratefully.
"And this is where we hope Hope will be staying." The redhead finished off the tour, leading her into the newly decorated bedroom, with you following closely behind.
The bare room was painted in a light pink tone, with hardwood flooring and white skirting.
"We still have to pick up the furniture. But we're just waiting for the room to be painted first."
"Yeah, Hope's not gonna sleep on a stack of paint cans," you tried to joke. To which you barely got a smile from your caseworker, Stephany Halla.
"It looks decorated to me," she countered.
"Oh." Natasha smiled. "We're having a friend of ours paint a mural or two on the walls."
"Yeah, she has a few favourite Avengers, so he's gonna paint them. And he's been learning how to draw cartoon characters for it too."
"He's actually trying to adopt the child he took in with his fiancé."
"Steve Rogers?" Stephany asked.
"The very same," you replied, nodding along with Natasha, "He's not the only one either. Tony's trying to adopt the two he and his wife took in."
"Yes. I've seen them around the office," she spoke a few moments later. "So, when are you planning on furnishing the room?"
"Hopefully, during the next few weeks," Natasha replied, "But with our and Steve's schedules, things are up in the air."
Every time Stephany hummed, and scrawled further notes onto the paper on her clipboard, your heart rate spiked out of anxiety.
"Well, your home seems to be in good standing. So far. But I advise you to get the furniture for the child's room as soon as possible," Stephane commented as she began packing up her belongings and paperwork, for your to drive her back to your apartment so she could get in her own car and leave.
"We know." You nodded. "We're actually going shopping for a crib today."
"And Steve did say that he was going to start work on it in the next few days," Natasha added, nodding along with you.
"Well, that is good news." Stephane smiled fully for the first time today. "I'll see you at our next meeting with Hope."
You beamed at the aspect of that.
Natasha sighed happily. "We truly can't wait."
It wasn't long later that you were back in your temporary apartment home after wishing the dirty-blonde woman a goodbye.
Turning, you beamed over to a just as happy Natasha on the sidewalk after watching the caseworker drive off.
"We get to see our daughter in a couple of weeks," your redheaded girlfriend gushed excitedly, dancing from side to side out of pure happiness. Her bright smile filled your soul with a warmth that travelled all the way into your bones.
You easily matched her emotions, arms coming 'round to wrap around her waist, pulling her into your chest and lifting the woman off her feet, spinning her around as she squealed happily.
Placing her back down onto the cement, you replied, "I know, honey. It's been so long since we've seen her. And we're gonna bring her home one day."
That was all you could say before your mouth was covered with the crushing feeling of Natasha's plump lips against yours.
---
One minute you would feel a high that was pure happiness from the aspect of getting your child back. Of even just seeing her. And, in the next, you would be in the deepest depression.
It was a difficult start to the adoption process, more so than it usually would be. Considering that the children legally didn't exist to the world. So, everything was so confusing and thrown up into the air while waiting for the kids to be registered.
Everything felt like you didn't know whether you were coming or going. Almost like you were stuck in limbo as you waited to see what kind of adoption process you would have to take. And even with all of your connections in the world, you were still left in the dark.
First, there was the fact that the kids were found overseas in Romania, so they could be considered Romanian. And so, you would have to go through international adoption.
However, none of the children had birth parents and were brought to America because you had rescued them from evil corporations. So, some would say they could be considered immigrants.
It was difficult to decern, as nothing like this had ever happened before.
Babies that had literally been grown in a lab and saved from a further torturous life that now needed legalization in the world's eyes.
Natasha and yourself -along with the other Avengers hoping to adopt- had to watch as Government's across the globe essentially fought over these children you saved. Over the same child, you fed and clothed. The one you played games with and bonded with the little girl you grew to love and consider your own.
So, as the world fought for the right of your child, your little Hope, you waited. Wishing and wanting to bring your daughter home.
But, lucky for you, the wait would soon be over.
Months later, the children were officially classed as American citizens. Which made it one hundred times easier for you to adopt than it would otherwise.
Which was honestly just crazy to you, considering just how intensely hard it still was.
You didn't want to admit it, but there were times you didn't believe you could ever adopt your child. That you would never be allowed to take her home. She would never be able to sleep in the room she would have adored.
On more than one occasion, Natasha would come to you with the same worries. Saddened to her core, because she truly believed that you would never have Hope return to your little family.
It was so fucking hard.
It was during one night when Natasha rolled over to face you in bed after you had -once again- gone through the rules and regulations of adopting, which you pretty much had memorised at this point. Uttering how you were "Never going to get her back", that there was "Just no way, they would ever let us adopt", as she cried into your arms.
But still, the process continued.
---
Nerves rattled through you, but you hadn't the faintest idea why, considering this wasn't the first time you had seen Hope since having to give her up. However, you had only been able to see her a handful of times since that dreadful day.
If you thought you were bad.
Natasha was far worse.
She was practically shaking. From nerves or excitement, you didn't know. But you had a good inclination that it was both.
You had done so much for this child in the short span of time you had known her.
And yet, you couldn't imagine your life any other way.
It was almost mindboggling to picture how your life was the year before.
No Hope. Surrounded by missions and work. Every free moment you had was spent with Natasha and the rag-tag group of heroes you had grown to call your family.
It all seemed so foreign now.
Like a past life.
'Wow,' you thought, 'Maybe I really am growing up.'
A part of you was afraid that the girl you thought of as your daughter wouldn't recognise you or your girlfriend. And would be scared of the two strangers that had just barged their way into her life, consequently breaking both of your hearts.
"Mommy! Mommy!"
But your fears were unfounded.
As that was the thing that greeted you, as soon as the door had swung open, reviling you both to the little girl. Making you realise just how stupid your train of thought really was.
Natasha rushed forward, scooping the girl up into her arms, with a bright smile upon both of their faces. As the redhead tried to hold back her happy tears.
"So, I still don't get a name, huh?" you joked, walking over to the reuniting mother and daughter.
Brushing a hand over Hope's short, fluffy hair, you grinned when she reached her arms up towards you, ready to give you a hug of your own, which you happily accepted.
"Don't worry," Natasha said, rubbing Hope's back as she hugged you," You'll get a name soon."
"I better. Or else I'm gonna have ta' tickle it out of her."
Hope's squeals reached your ears as you threateningly poked and prodded her side with your fingers.
"Here, baby. I'll save you," Natasha called, pulling the giggling girl from your arms. Both of them watched as you pulled your hands up in front of your face, wiggling your fingers almost spookily at them. The girls turned to each other with blank faces, "They're silly, aren't they?"
Almost like she could understand her, Hope beamed at Natasha.
Then they walked away, further into the room, with you calling after them.
"Hey! I may be silly, but-... I have no rebuttal!"
Just then, a clearing of someone's throat sounded through the room to gain your attention.
Who could only be your caseworker, Stephany Halla.
Natasha chuckled softly at your words before greeting the woman that had been waiting for you, albeit impatiently.
"Hello, Stephany," your girlfriend said in greeting, shaking the woman's hand. With you following suit.
"Hello." She nodded back curtly. "How have you two been?"
"Missing this little one," Natasha replied, bouncing the girl on her waist. Receiving fun-filled giggles in return.
"I bet you have. And you, Y/N?"
"Much of the same. Exhausted though," you told her honestly, "We're finally moving into the house, so. I just want to have everything done and Hope home, then sleep for a week."
Natasha smiled at you over her shoulder, remembering how hard you were working last night to finish building and moving all of the furniture into Hope's room, even at the expense of your sleep.
Stephany smiled slightly, before it dropped, and a gust of air left her nose.
"Let's hope that that's sooner rather than later then."
Your few hours with Hope passed faster than you ever could have imagined.
You played with blocks, ate lunch, "helped" Hope colour in her haphazardly filled colouring book, and tried to coax her into giving you a name of your own. But to no luck.
You absolutely adored the way her eyes lit up, and she started dancing and flailing her arms when she saw bubbles for the first time. You almost couldn't continue blowing them because of your bright smile.
And now, you were watching as Natasha spoke gently to the little girl. With Hope's hands resided on the redhead's cheeks, watching her mother with such care and concentration in her eyes.
You adored your little family.
You just wished you could have them all home.
'One day,' you hoped, 'one day.'
Saying goodbye was one of the hardest things you ever had to do.
Just like last time.
And the time before that.
And the time before that.
And the one before that.
But somehow, it just got harder and harder each and every time you did this.
Hope was crying. And so was Natasha, although silently, as she tried to console the toddler.
"I know, my little love, I know-"
"Mommy!" Hope cried.
You couldn't handle it anymore. So you quickly strode over, wrapping the two up in your arms. Pressing a kiss to Natasha's temple, then to Hope's forehead. Tears spilling from your own eyes. However, you were rendered silent.
"I know, angel. We'll be back before you know it, I promise."
"Mommy!"
"I know."
Once in the car, you continued to let your tears fall. With Natasha sobbing in the seat beside you.
"I don't think I can keep doing this anymore," you admitted. Deciding it was best that you explained when Natasha turned to look at you, with an incredulous look, upon her face, "To keep seeing her, and not being able to take her home with us. It just hurts so much, Nat."
"We'll get there." The love of your life reached over the centre console to squeeze your hand in comfort and understanding. "We will. You're the one who's always saying that we've got to take after her namesake and have hope."
"God, I'm cringy," you sniffed, wiping the tears from your upper lip, gaining a soft, weepy-filled chuckle from Natasha, "It just seems almost endless, babe."
"I know, honey." She wetly kissed your tear-stained cheek. Her lips brushed against the skin as she continued, "We'll bring her home one day. I just know it."
"I hope you're right."
"I'm always right. You should know that by now."
---
She was right.
Of course, she was right.
She was Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, after all.
It was like she just had this inability to be wrong.
But in this case? You were so fucking happy about that.
Granted, it had taken a lot longer than you had hoped for -a good eight months- but finally, you were here.
Exiting the courthouse with Hope in your arms and Natasha by your side. Bright smiles upon all of your faces, about to take the little girl- Your daughter home.
You would never have to say goodbye to her like that ever again.
She was legally a part of your family now. And nothing would ever change that.
The day would be in your memories for the rest of your life.
You would never forget that day in the courthouse.
As soon as you entered the room where the judge would legally bind you and Natasha to your daughter, you heard an unmistakable outcry.
"Daddy!"
Not knowing any better, Hope ran over to your shocked form, haphazardly pushing through the swinging gate.
You scooped the girl up easily, hugging her close to your chest. Turning to a just as shocked Natasha, you breathed, "She gave me a name!"
"Ready to go home, sweetpea?" Natasha asked the beaming girl.
"I don't know about you," you started, "But... I think this deserves celebratory ice cream."
"I think you just want ice cream before dinner."
You gave an overdramatic gasp at your girlfriend, seeing right through you.
"Why, I would never! How dare you accuse me of such a thing?"
Natasha laughed at your antis but nonetheless nodded her head.
"I agree. This does deserve celebratory ice cream."
"Yes!" you exclaimed happily to Hope, your free arm raising above your head in victory, making the girl copy you by lifting both of her arms.
She was already taking after you, and Natasha couldn't wait to see what other habits she would pick up from you.
Your redheaded girlfriend sighed dreamily after you as you chanted, "Ice cream! Ice cream! Ice cream!" On the way to the car, with Hope mumbling, trying to copy your cheers.
She couldn't remember a time when she was this happy.
It had been a long time since that time.
And Natasha just couldn't wait to see what the rest of her life would entail, with two of her favourite people now by her side.
---
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coldshrugs · 1 year
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Self-Rec Tag Game
Rules: share five of your own fanworks (fic, art, etc.) Then, tag five more people to share the things they've made.
@ghostwise tagged me for this!! thank you, beloved!! it's so fun and i believe in self-hype so here we go. this is bound to get long, sorry.
i'll tag @syrcus @scionshtola @gefiltefished @rickety-goose @myreia @lilas @thevikingwoman (this is seven people BUT many of us have been struggling with The Block lately so i'd love to see you guys celebrate yourselves if you want to 💗)
✨ Something you absolutely adore ✨
in this state (FFXIV): a moment immediately following Ultima Thule's climax, in which estinien and alisaie sit with an unconscious io. i really loved having them ignore and then play off each other for this!
“You care for her, don’t you?” Alisaie asks. Estinien scowls at the very specific emphasis in the question. He cares about a great many people, Alisaie not least among them. He cares for their causes and their well-being. But that is not what she is asking. It hasn’t needed a name before now, this feeling. Most often, it is in his chest, unfurling softly each time Io smiles, or rests her head against his shoulder, or speaks kindness to a stranger, until he can feel nothing but her warmth. Other times it shoots up his spine, a radiant pride that strengthens his arm and steadies his aim. It is the knowledge he would follow her anywhere because there is no one he trusts more. And now it lodges between his ribs, sharp and stinging. He answers after a long moment. “Aye.”
✨ Something that was challenging to create ✨
vacation, had to get away (TWC): i attempted to write a spooky story because TWC is not nearly as unsettling a universe as it could be. lots of fun but ough, i was so far out of my romance wheelhouse.
Between the clutter and sightseeing, even under the blazing coastal sun, there’s always something dark shifting just at the edge of Rebecca’s vision. Faint shadows twisting out of view at the last second. The wound-wet itch of unease prickling her skin. Someone is watching—of that, she’s certain.
✨ Something that makes you laugh (or smile, if that fits more comfortably) ✨
oblivious (FFXIV): aymeric and estinien catching up and being besties. aymeric living for his friend having a crush. plus the groupchat decided this was the one (1) time aymeric is allowed to say "fuck."
“Mm, perhaps ‘friend’ is erroneous in both cases. Nevertheless, I am pleased you have someone like her,” Aymeric pauses, “for support, of course, as you adjust to– what was it again?– 'all these fucking academics.’ Though, I am confident they are thrilled to have you on their side.” Estinien leans back on his heels, chuckling at Aymeric’s weak-voiced swear. “Aye, they’re a hospitable group.” He glances up the stairs. Io and General Aldynn are inside now, and though his face does not betray him, there is a gravity to his pining. It pulls at him. He takes a step forward, clapping Aymeric on the shoulder. “I should go inside. It was good to see you, my friend. Give my regards to our brothers in arms, will you?”
✨ Something that surprised you (in how it turned out, how much other people liked it, etc.) ✨
praying that it waits for me (TWC): a fic about bumbling side character Douglas, which has had an amount of praise that still astounds and moves me, even two years later. i've read and reread every comment, tag, and little story folks have put on about accepting themselves and their queerness. i cannot tell you how much this piece means to me, and i am so humbled it resonated with so many friends and readers.
He starts gathering the threads. How this started, when he knew, why he hasn’t told his parents. Why he hasn’t told anyone. Where he plans to go from here. He knows the answers, but struggles to weave them into anything solid in his mind. He still has questions of his own, after all. His sexuality isn’t something he can put into bullet points, no matter how much easier that’d make this conversation. So he sits, swaying on the edge of his truth, still afraid of becoming.
✨ Something you want other people to see ✨
what i see in you, i hope you find in me (FFXIV): my favorite work for io and estinien so far tbh. io's shaky headspace during this portion of EnW was fun to navigate, and i am always pleased to write alisaie. balancing zenos and estinien as romantic foils during this part of her life is also 🥴
“He’s angry with me. I suppose that is his right. I shouldn’t have let them take you two.” Io grits her teeth, fighting against the knot of guilt that has resided in her stomach since the morning. Estinien is her friend, perhaps the closest she has here besides Alisaie. She understands him, so she can hardly blame him for being upset with her. They are family to him, Alphinaud, and Alisaie by extension. No less than they are to her. He has given Io little more than one-word responses since the twins were found. She may pretend otherwise, but his cold shoulder wounds her. “Oh, to hells with Estinien.” Alisaie waves a gloved hand dismissively in his direction. “He’ll get over it. Would he have you fire upon civilians while negotiating peace? He may love my brother like a… well, brother, but he must admit there was no ideal series of events to be had. We all did our best, and we all made it through.”
(spicy edition under the cut because i am 50% a smut writer after all)
✨ Something you absolutely adore ✨
flood (FFXIV): i actually really love this fic, it's spicy then it gets SO mushy. describing the position in a way that sounds hot and achievable was tough, ngl, but this is so so indicative of their intimate dynamic in general.
Already, the first threads of her climax quiver in her belly, pulled taut like a bow, like the curl of her back, as she anticipates the release to come. One move from Estinien, and she will shatter. He opens his eyes, hungrily surveying the twist of her body, enthralled by the lace framing her breasts. Io is so close, and can’t help herself. “You are adorable.” Estinien leans forward, arcing his body over hers. The ends of his unbound hair skim her shoulders and chest, featherlight touches in stark contrast to the stinging tug on her scalp. His lips brush Io’s in an intimation of a kiss, warm breath washing over her face and neck as he teases her with gentleness. “And you are already throbbing. When you come, I want to hear it, yes?”
✨ Something that was challenging to create ✨
too precious (blooming panic): uh. i wrote this out of spite because i hated the dom!toasty happenings LMAO. figuring out their sexual dynamic was a fun challenge. lots of blushing.
“I love how patient you’ve been, letting me take you in like this.” A real kiss, finally, and he sighs into her mouth. It kills him, not being able to rest his hands on her body, or run them through her hair. They twitch helplessly in the ties at either side of the bed, and Teddy kisses him harder to compensate.
✨ Something that makes you laugh (or smile, if that fits more comfortably) ✨
in the light i thought i saw you (wayfarer): just filling in the blanks of ephyra's time with veyer at the gala. they are both SUCH little shits in this, it makes me laugh.
She touches their clit. The hitch of their breath is felt more than heard, and it’s Ephyra’s turn to laugh. “Oh?” Veyer’s head falls forward, cradled between her shoulder and neck, and Ephyra’s head spins again. Veyer is… strikingly vulnerable, more than she expected for a Guild Mage. They’re so open, too close. It’s almost uncomfortable. Almost. They grind against her palm, their own touch becoming erratic for a moment, before gently, firmly pulling her hand away. Did she do something wrong? They tsk a couple times, and a fresh grin pulls at their lips. “Not yet, Ephyra. I need both our focuses here-” They curl their fingers inside her to emphasize the point. “Be patient, dear.”
✨ Something that surprised you (in how it turned out, how much other people liked it, etc.) ✨
alma.mp4 (TWC): i love writing self-love smut but i'm always shocked when other people are into the way i write it LMAO.
“How do I taste, Mason?” She lifts her fingers, dripping and slick, to his mouth. The smirk parts and he takes them in with no hesitation. His tongue slides over them, between them, and Mason’s never been good at savoring. He devours. Eyes half-lidded like he might be a little drunk on her taste, he presses a wet kiss to her palm. His lips come away shining. “Better than blood, sweetheart.”
✨ Something you want other people to see ✨
something to talk about (FFXIV): idk i just think io should be allowed to be bossy sometimes and i think estinien would like it.
He removes his shirt while she unties his pants, pushing them past his hips. Candlelight dances across his skin and in his mussed hair. Io bites back the urge to tell him how beautiful he looks, cast in orange-gold light, already panting, barely holding onto the leash of his restraint. She strokes him with a deft hand, as familiar with his tells as he is with hers. The hitching breath, the white knuckle grip. This was his game, was it not? Io slides the tip of his cock into her cunt, then cups his chin. She murmurs against his lips, “come on, then.”
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elwynten · 1 year
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New Universes 15
Dungeon Dive part 2
Back above ground we headed to the Guild to cash in our magic stones.
The casher gave us a strange and confused look after we put all the magic stones and dropped items into the drawer. Well, it took three drawers full to get everything in.
"That's a lot of magic stones and dropped items. Where did you go to get this much?" He asked.
"Eighth and nineth floors." I replied.
"I don't see how you could get that much on those floors." He said and shrugged his shoulders. After a short wait. "That's 292,280 valis." He told us putting the money in the drawer and pushing it out so we could collect the money.
We walked over to one of the cubicles and sat down so we could divide the money up. Kimmy, Iris, Cindy and I each received 73,070 valis. Then we each took out ten percent to give to Rosni. Although as usual we rounded it up to 9,000 valis. So Rasni got 36,000 valis all together and left the four of us with 64,070 valis each. Then we figured out the ten percent that goes to the Familia, 7,307 from each of us and 3,600 from Rosni. Leaving the four of us 56,763 valis each and Rosni with, 32,400 valis. While the Familia will get 32,828 valis. Not a bad haul.
While we were sitting in the cubical relaxing and putting our money up. "Once we start running into Minotaur's, I want you each to take turns fighting them. That way you each will get three to five Minotaur kills and that should be enough to level y'all up." I told my Team.
"Why do you want to do it that way?" Iris asked, and it looked like the others had the same question on their minds.
"I'm hoping that if we each kill that many Minotaur's by yourselves, we will be able to level up. If I have to I'll take out the Goliath on the seventeenth floor. That should allow me to level up if the Minotaur's don't work. And once we level up I want to work on Rosni leveling up so she won't have to worry about the middle floors once we hit them." I told them.
Cindy nodded her head in understanding. "That makes since. But do you think we can level up so soon?" She asked me.
I shrugged my shoulders, and I leaned in. I didn't want anyone else to hear what I said next. "Bell will level up after just six weeks in the dungeon. Although he has help from one of his skills and the Hestia Knife. But with our high status and all the time we've been spending in the dungeon, I don't see why we can't level up just about as quick. I want to make the Hestia Familia somewhat famous for having their members being able to level up faster than any other Familia. That will cause a lot of people to want to join our Familia. So we can be picky about who joins, and we can increase the size of the Hestia Familia." I told them then I stood up. "Let's head home. We can talk about all of this later." I finished.
Before Rosni headed to her home. "Rosni, I know this is a day off, but if you can, would you meet us at the Benevolent Mistress this evening? We," I indicated my Team and myself. "Are having a fairly important meeting about the Team." I told Rosni.
Rosni has a slight worried look on her face. "If it's important. I'll be there. What time?" Rosni replied.
"Six if you can make it." I told her.
"I'll be there at six." She said.
"See you then, and don't worry. There is nothing bad going to take place at the meeting." I told Rosni trying to assuage any fears or worries she might have about needing to attend the meeting.
"Why did you tell Rosni to meet us tonight?" Kimmy asked as we walked back to the old church we were using to live in.
I smiled. "Because we need to have a meeting before tonight about Rosni. Then we need to tell Rosni the outcome of our meeting." I started.
"Why would we need to have a meeting before we meet Rosni tonight?" Cindy asked.
"After Rosni joined the Familia and since she's been our Supporter and doing such a good job. I figured we needed to talk about two things. One, to see if we should make her an official member of our Team and two, giving her a raise in pay." I told them.
"But Rosni is a member of our Team." Iris stated.
"Not really. She's a member of our party but she's not really a member of our Team. We could vote to make her a member of our Team. Since her name is Rosni, she could be the 'R' in Starling. If we make her an official member of the Team." I told them.
"I never thought about it. I guess I've always thought of her as being part of the Team." Cindy stated.
"Rosni has worked hard and has not ran from danger in the dungeon. I don't see any reason to not make her a member of our Team." Kimmy said.
I looked at Iris. "And what do you think?" I asked her.
"Yay, another member of Team STIG!" Iris exclaimed.
"Ok, then for the raise. Since Rosni will be an official member of the Team, I think we should split the loot five ways. We each get twenty percent." I suggested.
"That means we get less money." Cindy told us.
"True, but it's not that much less. Besides Rosni does a lot of work. So, I believe she deserves an equal share of the take." I replied.
"That does make since." Kimmy said. "And it's not like that small amount of money from each of us is going to hurt us any." She added.
"Team members should all share equally." Iris piped in.
"I'll go along with that." Cindy said.
I looked at Cindy. "Hahahaha!" I laughed. "I know why Cindy didn't want to get less money." I started.
"Why's that?" Kimmy asked.
"She's a dragon and dragons want a HUGE hoard of gold or money. So, she didn't want to give up that gold." I said and laughed again. "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha."
Cindy walked over to me and punched me hard on the shoulder. "Shut up, 'human'!" She exclaimed with a smile.
Her punch didn't hurt me, but it did make me laughed harder.
After getting my laughing under control. "I guess that settles it. If she wants to, Rosni can be an official member of Team STIG. Or that would be Team STRIG (Starling). Meeting's over until tonight." I said and laughed again.
"What's so funny?" Cindy asked me.
"I expected our little meeting about Rosni would happen after we got home. Instead, it happened on the 'way' home. That's funny." I told her.
Iris giggled. "We did have the meeting as we walked home instead of after we got home. Didn't we."
While we were waiting to go to The Benevolent Mistress, I found Hestia. "Hestia, do you have time to upgrade our status?" I asked her.
"I can do that. I don't think I've upgraded your status since you joined the Familia. I need to do that more often." Hestia told me.
"My Team is in the yurt. If it's ok with you, you can upgrade all of our status in the yurt." I suggested.
"That sounds good." Hestia replied and started walking to the back door of the house.
In the yurt I took my shirt off and laid on the bed. Hestia crawled onto the bed and straddled my legs. She brought up the 'tattoo' of my status, skills and magic.
Hestia giggled. "I don't see much since in upgrading your status since you're so high already."
Hestia went over my status. "You didn't go up a whole lot, but you're already extremely high so your status might not go up very fast. And no skills yet. There you go. All finished." Hestia told me and moved so I could get up and handed me the paper with my status on it.
"Thank you." I said and moved out of the way, and I put my shirt back on.
Cindy removed her shirt and laid on the bed. Hestia moved onto her upper legs. "Like Eilwyn, you didn't go up a whole lot. Although your strength did go up a small amount though." She informed Cindy. "No skills either. Ok, you're done." Hestia told Cindy and moved so Cindy could get off the bed. Again, Hestia handed Cindy the paper with her status on it.
"I'm next! I'm next!" Iris called and crawled onto the bed.
"Well, your status has gone up a bit. 'S' is about the highest anyone can go. So, the fact any of your group's status is going up is extremely unusual to begin with. Oh! You have a skill. It's Netsu wa Kuwaeru. I believe it Raises the strength of all your abilities by 150% for a short time. And there is a Trigger, which means it's not active all the time." Hestia informed Iris. "You have to want it to work or say the Trigger phrase to make it work. The trigger phrase is 'Game on'. That's a strange trigger phrase." Hestia told Iris. "You're finished."
"That's great. That skill helps Iris compensate for her lower status than the rest of us. She's no weakling to begin with, but that skill will help her out a lot." I said encouragingly.
"I'm the only one with a skill. Ha-ha-ha… ha-ha… ha." She said wiggling her head from side to side. Hestia moved off her legs and Iris moved off the bed.
Kimmy removed her shirt and lays down on the bed. And again, Hestia moved onto her upper legs.
"You're status is like your friends. A little increase but not to much of an increase. And no skill yet." Hestia told Kimmy.
"When you rank up you will keep all of your abilities at the level they are now although all of your status will go to I-0 and you'll have to raise at least one ability to the 'D' rank to rank up to level three. So right now, it doesn't make any difference how you raise up your abilities." Hestia told Kimmy and the rest of us. She then used the Excelia to raise up some of Kimmy's status.
"There you go. You're finished." She told Kimmy and handed her the paper with her status on it.
"Thank you, lady Hestia." Kimmy told Hestia.
Hestia crawled off the bed with Kimmy following suit.
"When will Rosni's status be upgraded?" Iris asked.
"If Hestia is up to it, her status can be upgraded tomorrow before we go to the dungeon." I told Iris then I turned to Hestia. "Does that sound good to you?" I asked.
"Oh, yes, I can do it in the morning when she arrives. That's part of my job being her goddess." Hestia replied.
"Thank you again, lady Hestia. We'll see you later." I said and motioned for the girls to follow me.
"You're welcome." Hestia replied.
We walked over to the living room of the yurt to relax until we needed to leave for The Benevolent Mistress. "Oh, I'm sorry. Lady Hestia, you can stay if you would like. I didn't mean to sound like I was dismissing you." I said with a chuckle.
Hestia giggled. "I didn't take it that way. I do have some things to do right now. But can I take you up on your offer later?" Hestia asked.
I smiled at Hestia. "You, as well as the rest of our Familia, are always welcome in the yurt. I just put it up so there would be plenty of room for all of the others in the house." I told Hestia.
Hestia grinned at me. "Thank you, Eilwyn." Hestia said then left to do her errands or other work she needed to do.
Later that evening we arrived at The Benevolent Mistress shortly before six o'clock and were seated when Rosni walked into the tavern. I stood up so she would know where we were sitting.
Rosni took the empty seat and sat down. "It's good to see you." I told her then called our waitress over so Rosni could order what she wanted to eat and drink.
"Hi everyone meow." Rosni said looking at everyone at the table. Then she turned to me. "What is the meeting about, meow?" She asked.
I grinned. "First, I wanted to give you a pocket closet plain. It's like where the house is, except a lot smaller. It's about the size of a closet. You put things into it and pull them out the same way you do with your weapons. Second, is night vision. With night vision if there is no light, you'll still be able to see in the dark. But the main reason is… We," I motioned to Kimmy, Cindy, Iris and myself. "Wanted to inform you that we want you to join our Team officially. That means your initial will be in the Team name and you will receive an equal share of the loot. I know you are already part of our adventuring party, but this way you will be an official member of the Team and not just a supporter." I informed Rosni.
"I also have a few other abilities to give you. Everyone on my Team already has them and even if you don't officially join the Team, I want you to have them. They will help you in the dungeon and they will even allow you to become an adventurer if you want." I told Rosni and gave her Missile (Kind of like a magic missile with the power of a .270), Convenience (Allows her to magically clean herself and/or a 10'x10' area), Sustenance, Warp Perception (It feels like time slows down, it gives you time to think of what you want to do in a fight) and Poison Proof. I may give her a few other abilities later if I feel they are neccesary. I explaned what they were and what they did. Once she ranks up to level two I'll give her Body Enhancement (Greatly increases her strength, agility, dexterity, Durability and gives her Regeneration).
"Thank you so much. With the pocket closet I won't have to carry everything around and being able to see in the dark, meowow. All of those abilities will help out in the dungeon a huge amount." Rosni said with excitement.
She then thought for a moment. "What would the name of the Team be if I agreed to be an official meowmber of the Team?" She asked.
"That's the funny part. We would still be Team Starling. You would be the 'R' in Starling. It would be the letters STRIG." I told her. "Your main job will still be as before, but you'll do more fighting so you can increase your status, and hopefully you'll rank up quicker." I added. "And another funny thing about you being a member of the Team is, you are still in the middle. As a supporter you're in the middle of the group and as a Team member your initial is in the middle of the Team name." I said and laughed.
Rosni giggled. "If I agree, I'll be an official meowmber of the team? And I'll get the same percent of money everyone else gets, meow?" Rosni asked.
I nodded my head in agreement. "Yes, to both." I answer.
"How much fighting will I have to do?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "As much as you want, but it will very. I'm guessing about ten to fifteen percent of the time you'll be fighting. And when you join in the fighting, we'll help pick up the magic stones." I tell her. "But the main reason for you to fight is so you can level up. Once you rank up you can go back to mainly doing support work, with Team member benefits, if you want. But if you want to take an equal part of the fighting, each of us can take turns being the supporter and pick up the magic stones and giving support." I added.
Rosni looked thoughtful. "Didn't you say one time that the school you attended. They put you in teams of four? If I agree to join your team there will be five meowmbers on the team. Won't that throw the team off?" Rosni asked.
"The number of team members doesn't matter. Four team members was what the school used. They also had you with one partner. So it doesn't matter how many people are on your team, because it is all about working together as a team, working together with a partner and fighting alone when you have to." Cindy replied.
Rosni nodded her head. "I like the sound of it. I'll do it, I'll join the Teameow." Rosni said.
"Then you are now an official member of Team STRIG (Starling)." I said and raised my tankard. "To the new member of Team STRIG!"
Kimmy, Iris and Cindy all raised their tankards, and said almost in unison. "To the new member of Team STRIG!"
Rosni raised her tankard. "To Team STRIG!"
We all clanked the tankards together then took a drink and placed the tankards back on the table.
"If she wants, Iris can go with Rosni to the upper floors of the dungeon and one of us can act as a supporter. That way Rosni can get more experience fighting. Then as she gets stronger, they can go deeper. That way she should be able to rank up fairly quickly." I suggested. I leaned in and said in a softer voice. "Although with Ushi, Rosni's status will go up quite a bit." I added.
"I'd be happy to help Rosni out like that. But who will be our supporter?" Iris asked.
I shrugged my shoulders. "I'll do it if no one else wants to. Or Kimmy, Cindy and I can take turns being your supporter. On the way out of the dungeon the last eight hours, you two can hit the upper floors with one of us as your supporter and the other two can take that time off if they want to. I don't think it will take very long for Rosni to rank up doing it that way." I said then I looked at Kimmy and Cindy. "What do you think?" I asked them.
Kimmy nodded her head in agreement. "Could we stay on the same floor as they do and get more magic stones either by ourselves or with Cindy or you?" Kimmy asked.
"If you want to stay on the same floor as they do that would be fine, just go to a different area. I don't see any problem with you doing that. Or you can go a couple, three floors down if you want." I agreed then looked at Cindy.
"Sounds good to me, and when I act as their supporter, I can help them out with fighting strategies and techniques." Cindy suggested.
"That's settled then. Now it's party time!" I exclaimed. And we did just that.
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whoreiaki-kakyoin · 3 years
Note
okok for the writing prompt number 5 and “You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad.” with abba please?? sorry my memory is short I can't remember the number (and also I don't know the limit so feel free to choose)
Ah, no apologies for short memories here! Excellent choices for Abba... You have no idea how excited I was seeing this ask. 👀 I may... have gone a lil overboard but this one was just fun to write and play with! 💖
"No panties?" and "You're so fucking hot when you're mad" for Abbacchio
Gender neutral reader (Mista does call you doll at one point), light degradation/name calling, jealousy, confession of feelings
Leone Abbacchio could be an incredibly frustrating individual. You'd been in Passione for a while now, and you two had been dancing around each other for the past several months. Some days, his eyes would meet yours across the room, something dark and wild stirring in his gaze. Others, he'd brush past you without so much as a word. You knew he wasn't much for other people, or for asking for any sort of help or companionship. Still, you wished he would at least get his shit together and tell you what he wanted.
The last straw had come about a week ago. The two of you were catching your breath after a fight with an enemy stand user, and found yourselves ducking down an alley to assess any damage and plan your next steps.
"Glad that's over," you sighed. When you turned to look at Abbacchio, you noticed he was already staring at you intently. Your breath hitched, and time seemed to slow down as your eyes met his. There was so little space between the two of you, and his gaze drifted down, lingering on your lips.... Your heart hammered in your chest as you each leaned in a fraction more, before he— stopped. You struggled to process as Abbacchio pulled away just as suddenly as he had surged towards you, his gaze turning steely and impassive again where it had just been so vulnerable.
"We should get going.'
"Wh.... What?" His eyes stayed trained on the pavement.
"Come on. The others are going to wonder where we are."
"And... We're not going to talk at all about what just—“
"Don't worry about it," he told you gruffly. You felt like screaming, like forcing him to acknowledge you by making a scene right out in the street as you walked back to the car. Embarrassing yourselves both in public might have been worth it if it would have gotten Leone to fucking discuss his feelings. Instead, all you had gotten was a silent car ride home and a week of tense, furtive glances, and fucking radio silence.
Determined to get his attention once and for all, you decide you'll simply have to make him pay attention. Make yourself impossible to ignore. It's a slower night, not much on the agenda in terms of missions, so that means dinner at Libeccio. You smile to yourself as you look through your closet, settling on something form fitting that shows off your figure and bares some skin. A spritz of perfume, a bit of makeup.... and that should do it. When you head down to meet the others, you think their eyes might pop right out of their heads.
"Oh!" Bruno coughs, his eyes slipping up and down your figure and a slight flush rising to his cheeks. "My, you certainly look lovely." Mista whistles, taking you in with wide eyes.
"Damn," he comments with a shake of his head. "You look hot. You're gonna make the rest of us look bad!" The pistols clamor at his side, chiming in about your daring outfit, and you smile. Even Fugo gives you a soft "You do look really nice tonight." Abbacchio, however, says nothing, simply keeps his eyes glued to you as you smile.
"Thank you guys, seriously. C'mon, shouldn't we get going?" Abbacchio maintains a sullen silence as you head to the restaurant, and you laugh inwardly to yourself. Leone Abbacchio was a jealous man. He was territorial. As much as he was keeping his composure now, the night had only begun, and you were going to make him crack.
You allow things to start off calmly enough as you get comfortable at your usual table and order your food. You make a point of trailing your hand along Bruno's arm as he speaks, flashing him your most dazzling smile as you bat your eyes and laugh at his jokes. You try not to look at Abbacchio across the table, but you can see him tense out of the corner of your eye.
When the food arrives, you take a few bites with a smile before declaring, "Gio, you have to try some of mine, here." The blonde raises his eyebrows as you incline your fork towards him with a sugar-sweet smile, but he gives you a reserved smile of his own as he leans in to let you feed him a bite.
"It's good, right?" Giorno blushes as he holds your gaze.
"Yes, excellent," he murmurs, and you giggle sweetly as he offers you a forkful of his own, feeding you just as you had for him.
"Mmm." You tip your head back slightly, letting your eyes flutter closed as you hum out an appreciative noise that sounds just a bit too much like a moan. Giorno's cheeks flush a shade darker, and Abbacchio sputters as he goes to take a sip of wine. You simply bite back a smirk and carry on your conversation with the blonde like nothing had happened.
Dessert comes around, and you find yourself settled in Mista's lap, giggling at his jokes and even the more suggestive of his pickup lines. At one point, you even make a show of fawning over his muscles, fingers running over his biceps as you practically purr how he's sooo strong.
"Ah, you're too sweet to me, doll," he chuckles as your fingers tease the curls peeking out from his hat. His hands drift lower, fingers gripping at your thighs, your ass, and you can hear Leone's sharp inhale. Abbacchio's eyes linger on you for a moment, before he rises wordlessly from his chair and grabs your wrist to tug you out of Mista's lap.
"Uh, hey! We were talking?"
"Damn, Abbacchio, take it easy, yeah?" He ignores you both, ignores the affronted look you give him, ignores the way the others have all turned their attention to the three of you. Instead, he simply pulls you by the arm as he heads to the exit. Out in the street, you huff indignantly, but on the inside, you were celebrating your success.
"Drop the attitude," he snarls, stalking back towards home.
"I could say the same to you," you mutter, but you fix your face in a more neutral expression rather than your previous pout. The walk back is quick and silent, and butterflies swirl in your gut at the way Leone doesn't loosen his hold on you for even an instant. It isn't until he manhandles you through the front door and slams it behind him that he speaks again.
"The fuck was that?" You blink back at him innocently.
"The fuck was what?"
"You know exactly what I mean. Don't play dumb."
"Hmmm." You tilt your head like you're thinking. "No, sorry, I don't think I do, but if there's something you want, Leone, why don't you tell me?" He raises his eyebrows, his eyes flashing as he huffs out a laugh of disbelief.
"That's what this is all about, isn't it?" "Hm?"
"Such a needy brat. You were that desperate for my attention, you'd be a whore to get it?"
"I'm not a whore!"
"No? Oh, no, of course not." He gives a dark chuckle, pressing you up against the wall. "What else would you call it, then, the way you were throwing yourself at the others like a piece of meat for the taking, letting their hands wander as you led them on, hm? I'm waiting." He scoffs after another beat of silence, like he's unsurprised you don't answer. "That's what I thought." You huff out a soft laugh, blinking at Abbacchio.
"Shit," you breathe. "You're so fucking hot when you're mad."
"And you. Are such a little fucking tease. I bet you're not even sorry for your behavior tonight." His tone is unlike anything you've heard before, low and gravelly and thick with need. It makes heat pool in your stomach and between your legs as you think triumphantly that you made him lose his composure this way. He wanted you that badly.
"Why would I be sorry?" Your voice comes out breathy as his gaze burns through you. "You wouldn't fucking talk to me about it, so I gave you a push. A 'thank you' would be nice." He glares, then surges forward, his lips meeting yours roughly. He holds your chin firmly in place as he kisses you breathless, his fingers curling around your jaw sending an unspoken message: mine. He nips roughly at your lip, then moves to kiss down your neck, seeming to take pleasure in making you pant and whine. Once he decides you're sufficiently flushed and desperate, he pulls away to meet your gaze.
"Consider that your thank you. Now—“ He grabs your arm again, tugging you with him up the steps and down the hall to his bedroom.
Leone wastes no time in pulling off your clothes, his eyes widening as he looks you over.
"No panties?" His fingers dip between your legs and you let out a breathy whine. "You're so desperate, look at you... and you were practically humping Mista's lap like some common bitch at the restaurant. I bet you wouldn't care if he realized you didn't have any panties on, hm?" You whimper again at his words, trying to buck your hips into his fingers. "Do you like being such a bratty slut? You like teasing me like this?"
"Yes," you sigh, arching into him as he strokes you. He huffs out a laugh, shaking his head.
"You drive me crazy sometimes, you know that?" He works a finger inside you before you can answer, and your mouth falls open on a soft moan.
"Ahh, mm, Leone.... C...Consider it payback, then," you tell him with a smile. He swears under his breath, cheeks tinting pink.
"Can't believe anyone can look so perfect." He adds another finger, stretching you pleasantly as he crooks them just so. "You make the prettiest sounds... I want to be patient, but...."
"Then... oh, fuck, then don't."
"What?" You'd roll your eyes if you weren't so preoccupied with his fingers.
"Don't be patient. Fuck me."
"Shit," Abbacchio hisses as you start to undo his pants. He quickly gets the memo, though you whine softly despite yourself when he removes his fingers to pull his shirt over his head. His clothes quickly join yours on the floor, and you sigh as he pushes you back onto his bed.
"Are you sure you're ready?" He grabs an elastic off the dresser, pulling his hair back as he straddles you.
"Leone, I've waited months. Please, I need you." He nods. God, he looks like a painting. Pupils blown with lust, muscular chest, his hair tied up hastily... Maybe you'd died and this was heaven. Abbacchio rummages in the drawer of his nightstand, and you decide not to question who he had condoms at the ready for before you. You've made him jealous enough today that you certainly couldn't hold a one night stand or two against him.
Abbacchio pushes in slowly, and you arch your back with a low whine at the sensation. He's decently thick, and you silently wonder if you'll be able to fit all of him inside you. After a few moments, though, he buries himself snugly inside you with a groan.
"Ah, amore mio, you feel so good... You're so tight." Your hand grasps at his shoulder as you adjust to the stretch of his cock inside you.
"You feeling all right?" he murmurs, and you nod, starting to rock your hips against his.
"Amazing." He chuckles, starting to thrust into you at a slow pace as he holds you tight.
"Cazzo," he breathes, his breath warm against your skin. "Should've done this months ago." You moan as he angles his hips to drive right into your sweet spot, your nails digging into his back.
"Mm... Told you, yeah?" You wrap a leg around his waist, pulling him in closer as he trails love bites down your neck.
"Yeah... Mmf, you did." He hisses softly as your nails rake down his back. "Shit, amore... You keep that up, I'm gonna cum." You tuck your face into his shoulder with a moan.
"Ah, please? God, I wanna make you cum, Leone... Please, I'm close." Abbacchio fucks into you with renewed vigor, his thrusts deeper and rougher as his fingers establish a bruising grip on your hips. You feel a familiar warmth spreading through you as the bedroom fills with the sounds of your mingled breaths and low moans of each other's names. Leone's hips stutter, his thrusts growing sloppier until his cock twitches inside you and he cums with the prettiest sound you've ever heard. He brings a hand down to stroke you as he rides out his orgasm, groaning when you clench around him. Your climax washes over you, and you orgasm with a gasp of "Leone!"
It takes several minutes for you to catch your breath. It's Abbacchio, surprisingly, who breaks the silence first.
"I'm sorry."
"Mm?" You turn towards him, and the way he looks at you makes your stomach drop like you're in a free fall. It's not unlike the way he looked at you in the alley that day, but now, you feel fairly certain you can put a name to it. It's a look of pure, vulnerable adoration. "Y...yeah?"
"I was stupid. Caught up in my own head over... whether I deserved you. I convinced myself I'd only fuck things up, and then, well."
"You fucked things up more by trying not to fuck them up." He laughs when he sees the smile on your face, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
"Yeah. That. But, it seems like you'd be willing...?"
"What, to be official?" Color rises to his cheeks, but he nods.
"Um. Yeah. I've been an ass, and you deserve to know how I feel about you." You press your lips to his softly.
"I feel exactly the same. The answer is yes." He kisses you again, more deeply, and you let your fingers tangle in his hair. Laying there against his chest, you feel happier than you had thought was possible. Your bubble only bursts a little when you come to a realization.
"We don't have to go out and face the others until morning, right?" Leone chuckles.
"Not eager to explain those hickeys?" You shake your head, and he pulls you closer with a low hum.
"Fine by me. That's a problem for tomorrow." As you eventually doze off, you think to yourself that you can live with that.
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professor’s sweetheart
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pairing: professor!tom holland x student!reader
summary: professor holland teaches british literature at your university. you hadn’t expected much when you signed up for the course, but the experience is everything and more than you could have hoped for. 
word count: 15.1k
warnings: there is smut in here but it’s not the main focus (wild, i know)
notes: uh yeah i’d say just don’t fuck your professor? this is purely fictional. be safe, you know how it is <3
also she wrote a professor!harry styles fic, but if i hadn’t read that (over and over) i probably wouldn’t have been inspired to write this. so check out @songbirdstyles​ !
i listened to this playlist while writing it if ur interested :)
give me feedback please!!
“What class do you have next?” Your friend, and roommate Liz asked. You were both walking out of the cafeteria. It was 1:15, you had just finished lunch and you had fifteen minutes until your next class. You pushed the doors open together and braced yourselves as the cool late September breeze hit you, blowing your jackets open. You put both sides of the jacket together in front of you and crossed your arms to block the cold out. 
“Um,” you thought back for a moment, the cold temporarily knocking your senses right out of you. “British Literature.”
If you were being honest, you had taken this course because it fulfilled one of your requirements, but in the end it felt like one of the most rewarding parts of your college experience so far. The material was interesting, and instead of being bored out of your mind throughout the whole hour and a half of class––it was actually entertaining. You had your professor to thank for that.
“Oooh,” Liz twisted her lips to the side to suppress a knowing smile, but the look in her eyes gave it away. “With Professor Holland?” She asked, batting her eyelashes innocently. 
You rolled your eyes and bit your tongue to hide your smile. “Yes,” you shoved her playfully to the side making her step in a pile of leaves, the crunch under boots loud as ever as it carried through the crisp air. “Shut up.”
You and Liz had been roommates since your first year at university and had now spent four, coming up on five semesters rooming together. Luckily, you really hit it off, and easily fell into a routine together, forming a bond as you ate lunch and dinner together, studied in the library, had dance parties in your dorm, and more. You knew each other inside and out, often having random late night conversations while you procrastinated your work or couldn’t sleep, about literally anything and everything. Bottom line is, you trusted each other, which is why she knew about your sort-of-crush on Professor Holland. 
To be fair everyone had a thing for him, he was just that kind of guy. He was sweet and compassionate and funny. Professor Holland was one of those genuine professors who sincerely cared about their students and their well-beings. He was incredibly understanding. He’d schedule dozens of meetings with his students all in one day just because he wanted to help and make sure they were all alright. He liked to check in every now and then, not because he had to, but because he wanted to.
From what you could tell he also seemed like a people person. No matter who he was with, whether it was a student, his teaching assistant Jacob, or his fellow professors––he was always attentive, cracking jokes, enjoying the conversation. Everyone seemed to love him. But you could also tell that a part of him was just a tad bit cocky, but in a joking and love-able way. 
All this goes to show that you spent way too much time thinking about him, and observing him, which could either be seen as really endearing or really creepy. 
“Look I’m just saying,” Liz shrugged, “Enjoy the class.” She nudged you, “I know I would.”
Realizing you were approaching the writing and arts center, and Liz’s next class was in the building across the street, you sent her off. “Yeah yeah, okay. Bye.” You tightened your arms around you and scurried off, skipping a crack in the sidewalk and walking up the steps to the building. You opened the door and were immediately welcomed by a rush of warm air and let out a sigh, rubbing your hands together as you made your way to the lecture hall. 
You pulled your phone out and checked the time, 1:22. You still had 8 minutes to spare. You were still walking and only glanced up from your phone right as you were about to walk into the door and were stopped suddenly when you crashed into a hard chest. You immediately felt two warm hands grasp your arms to steady you and were suddenly enveloped by the smell of tea and mint. 
“Woah! I’m sorry, love, are you alright?”
You froze as you looked up, feeling very much like a deer in headlights as you realized you quite literally crashed into your professor. “Oh––um,” you swallowed, suddenly feeling like the air was escaping you. You cleared your throat trying to save yourself from anymore embarrassment. “I’m fine––I’m sorry, that was my fault. I wasn’t looking––” You paused when you noticed the small smile on his face, his warm eyes making you forget what you were going to say.
“It’s alright, Y/N. It was partially my fault as well, I was too focused on––” he seemed to snap out of some trance, straightening himself up as his hands dropped back down to his sides and into his pockets. “Uh, well that’s not important.” He pulled one hand out of his pocket––he was wearing those blue slacks that you thought made his thighs look great, respectfully, of course. He checked the time on his watch and you had to stop yourself from ogling the veins in his arms as he did so. 
He looked up at you, brows furrowed playfully and you actually had to remind yourself to breathe. “You’re almost ten minutes early. You that eager to see me?” He ended his question with a teasing smirk and your mouth opened and closed a few times before you managed to string together a response.
“I––um, I just really like this class and you––you’re my favorite professor.” You blurted out, your cheeks heating up as you realized what you just admitted. You had to force your eyes to go back to their normal size after they practically bulged at the realization of what you said. “And I mean, I just happened to get here early so...I thought I might as well get settled in.”
Your professor cleared his throat, trying to hide his smile as he glanced down at his shoes for a moment then back up at you. “Well then.” He extended his arm, pointing towards the open door of the hall and stepped aside. “Please, after you.” 
You gave him a small smile in return along with a quiet thank you and stepped through the door. But before you could walk over to your seat, you felt him lean over behind you to talk lowly in your ear. He was standing a respectably close distance, but his presence was so overwhelming it was as though you felt him everywhere. His breath caressed the smooth skin of your cheek as he spoke. 
“I’m technically not allowed to have favorites, but I do appreciate that you enjoy having me as your professor, darling.” It shouldn’t have had such an effect on you, really, it shouldn’t have. But something about him referring to himself by his title really did something to you. You took a sharp inhale as you stood up straight, your whole body on high alert as you turned your head towards him, your eyes refusing to look at his and instead finding solace in the fabric of his navy blue button up––which he’d rolled up to his forearms. 
“And if it means anything, I rather do enjoy having you in my class as well.” You snuck a peek at him, lifting your gaze slowly and only caught a glimpse of his soft lips as he smiled before walking over to his desk. 
You felt your heart pounding in your chest as you walked up the steps to your usual spot in the middle row, near the aisle. Your legs felt like they were going to give out any minute, and the man hadn’t even touched you––well not in the way you wanted him to, anyway. But enough of that. 
You checked your phone again, trying to calm down your heartbeat as you took in a deep breath, 1:28. People started shuffling into the class, the overlapping sounds of chatter and laughter rupturing the energy the room had when it was just the two of you. At 1:32 Professor Holland started the class, getting everyone’s attention smoother than anyone should be able to. You could almost feel everyone’s eyes focusing on him, some weren’t even listening to him, they were just so entranced by how good he looked and the way he sounded––his accent was just so endearing, you had to admit it. 
The hour and a half went by rather quickly but today you were more aware of yourself, of Professor Holland––even more than usual. It seemed as though his eyes would travel to your direction more often, after he made jokes as if to see your reaction, or while he paused in his speeches. 
At the end of the class, despite there being dozens of other students moving around you, you felt as though your professor was watching you as you made your way out of the room. But it had to be your imagination, there was just no way. 
When you got back to your dorm, Liz still wasn’t back yet so you decided to take a shower and spend some time relaxing. You had already done your work for the next day and your other work for the rest of the week––well, you decided you’d do it later. 
You changed into sweats after your shower and hopped on your bed, deciding to switch between your apps for an hour or so––honestly you’d lost track of time. Liz strolled in soon after, closing the door with a loud groan, throwing her bag on the floor.
You smiled, looking up at her from your lying position on the bed. “Hello to you too.”
She grumbled in response, finally looking at you. When she noticed you were already wearing your pajamas she pointed to you, her brows raised. “Good idea!” She immediately went to her drawers and picked out a random pair of sweats and an oversized sweatshirt, changing with lightning speed for someone who was sluggishly groaning not even a minute before. 
She grabbed her phone and sat on her bed opposite yours, cross-legged, facing you. She looked at your face for a few seconds before squinting her eyes at you. “You have something to say. Spill.”
You rolled your eyes, a smile on your face. 
She looked at you pointedly, “Well go on.” 
So you told her about your encounter with the infamous brit today, how you bumped into him, what he said to you, the glances he sent your way. When you finished recounting everything you took a deep breath, “But––this could all just be in my head you know, just me overreacting.”
She stared at you with a dead expression. “Are you fucking dumb?”
“Hey!”
She ignored you, rolling her eyes while she tried not to laugh. “Dude he totally wants to fuck you.” She said nonchalantly.
Your eyes bulged, “W–What do you––What?” 
“Oh please, it’s so obvious.”
You opened your mouth but when nothing came out, you paused and looked down at the carpet. After a few moments you looked back up at her to find her with a knowing smirk on her face. “Are you serious?”
“Of course I am, when am I not?” When you were about to speak, she interrupted you. “Don’t answer that. But look, it seems like he’s into you. I think you should hit that.”
“But we––that’s not allowed!” You paused, “Is it?”
She laughed, “A ha! So you do want to!”
“Oh shut up, you already knew that. Everyone wants to, it’s not a big deal.”
She made a face, “Yes, but you’re the only one who actually has a chance at getting it.” 
You looked at her, a skeptical look on your face. “Even if that was true––he’s still my professor…”
She sighed, rolling her eyes. “Yeah but it’s not like it’s in the handbook or anything. Plus, you’re both legal adults, so. There you have it. You’re free to bone.”
“You did not just say that.”
“But I did.” She smiled, lying down in her bed. “You really could, though. Just don’t tell anybody.” When you didn’t say anything else, she spoke up. “Okay I’m gonna take a nap now. You have a lot to think about.” 
You ignored the last part and went back to your phone, “Yeah you do that.” 
Throughout the rest of the afternoon and night you couldn’t stop thinking about this whole situation. This was bad...Or was it? It seemed all too complicated, that was for sure. You weren’t even sure he looked at you or thought of you that way. 
You fell asleep playing all the pros and cons of hypothetically getting with him, your mind an endless loop of your professor, his voice, how he sounded when he practically whispered that he liked being your teacher. This was all too much.
❊❊❊❊
All of your senses were in overdrive. All you could feel were the hands tracing every curve of your body, playing you like a toy they’d made themselves. The tongue, teeth and lips following and leaving marks everywhere the hands traced. All you could hear was that sweet, rough voice telling you praises and calling you endearing names as your whole body shivered from the pleasure. Your eyes locked in on the ones staring up at you with pure hunger and awe as you ground yourself down on his cock.
“That’s it darling, just like that. You’re doing so good for me.” His lips curved into that oh so familiar smirk. “I taught you well, didn’t I?”
You woke up sweaty, your shirt sticking to your torso, a wet patch on your panties, your nipples pebbled in the cool air of your dorm room. A sex dream. Of course you had a fucking sex dream about him. Fuck. You were just lucky that your next class with him was on Thursday so you didn’t have to see him today. Because that would not help you at all. 
You checked the time on your phone, squinting at the brightness before turning it all the way down, 10am. You got out of bed with a groan and took your toiletries bag and your towel to the bathroom, deciding to take a shower this morning, instead of later on at night. Lord knows you certainly needed one. A cold one too.
You were frustrated, frustrated with yourself for feeling this way about your professor––sure, he was only a few years older than you, but it was the principle of the matter––frustrated that you were overthinking this entire thing, and most importantly you were annoyed because you were extremely horny. 
When you got into the bathroom, you locked the door and set your stuff down. You put your hands on both sides of the sink and looked at yourself in the mirror. Who are we and what happened? You sighed and grabbed your toothbrush, brushing your teeth quickly and aggressively, since everything seemed to be a hassle this morning. You’d hoped that once you hopped in the shower, you’d calm down. 
When you made your way inside, you sighed contently at the feeling of the warm water pattering against your skin, freshening you up immediately. Your nipples were still hard, between your legs still wet. So you brought a hand down between your thighs, the other to your breast as you stood under the water––almost as though the water was washing away the sinful act and thoughts right at the source. You laughed at the thought, nope, nothing can wash this away. 
You squeezed your breast and tugged at your nipple, rubbing your sensitive bud just the way you liked. You were still sensitive from...your dream, so it didn’t take long for everything to build up. You couldn’t help yourself, your mind brought back the remnants of last night that you remembered, the way his hands gripped you when he steadied you, the way his arms looked, and you came with a whimper that was louder than you would have liked. You bit your lip, closing your eyes and resting your head back on the tiles as the water continued to fall on you. 
When you came back to your dorm, Liz was on her way out but she stopped, raising her brows at you, “So have you come to a conclusion?”
You walked past her into the dorm, “Go to class, Liz.” You heard her cackle down the hallway as you closed the door. 
You got dressed casually, not rushing since there was nowhere for you to go and decided to go to the local cafe near the school. You needed to clear your head and get some work done, and you definitely would not get any of it done in your dorm. Not today, anyway. 
You checked the weather and seeing that it was a little warmer today, you put a sweatshirt on, grabbed your bag along with your phone and your laptop and you were on your way. The breeze felt refreshing this morning as you stepped out of your dorm. Your walk to the cafe was only ten or so minutes but it felt good. 
Stepping into the little shop, you were immediately hit by the aroma of coffee and sweets, surrounded by the sound of light chatter and utensils clattering on the wooden tables. The warm light above you brought a sense of comfort as you made your way over to the counter. The line was rather short so you managed to order your usual drink and snack quickly. As you were waiting for the cashier to hand you your things, your eyes scanned the shop––the ambience was rather nice and the talking almost felt like background noises. You wouldn’t mind staying here to work.
As you gathered your things, you turned around in search of a free table––which would be the deciding factor in whether or not you would stay, you did not want to awkwardly share the small table space with some stranger. You took a few steps into the seating area and almost choked on your breath when you made eye contact with the last person you wanted to see today. 
He smiled charmingly at you, teeth and all and quickly made his way over before you even had a chance to think of escaping. “Y/N!” He stood in front of you, his eyes bright. He was actually happy to see you? He was always happy to see everyone, it didn’t mean anything. 
His voice snapped you out of your annoyingly loud thoughts.  “Fancy seeing you here.” He nudged you playfully, “How are you?” He was wearing a very tight white button up that was unbuttoned until the third, showing a generous amount of his chest, a grey suit and pants, along with a messenger bag slung over his shoulder. It took you a few more seconds than it should have to process that there were actual words coming out of his mouth.  
You forced a smile onto your face but the more you looked into his eyes, the more genuine it became, almost impossible to wipe off. “I’m good. Was just grabbing breakfast before I start my work. You?”
He raised his cup, “Same as you. Have a bit of time before my next class.” 
You noticed that you couldn’t tell what exactly was in the cup and your curiosity got the better of you. You pointed to the cup clasped in his fingers, “Is that coffee?”
He furrowed his brows in mock offense, “I only drink tea, darling.” He leaned his upper body forward to whisper to you, his cheek almost touching yours, “I’d think you would know that about your favorite professor.” He tutted playfully as he stood up straight again, watching you, a look that you couldn’t quite pinpoint in his eyes as he watched you over his cup, taking a teasingly long sip. 
You looked up at him, your mouth slightly open, not a clue what to respond. When he pulled the cup away from his mouth he looked down at you, his gaze drifting down and you’d never felt more exposed, despite the fact that you were wearing two layers of clothing. “I like your sweatshirt.” He smiled, glancing down at it before looking directly into your eyes, his head lowered slightly.
Your eyes widened in surprise and your head snapped down to see your spiderman sweatshirt looking back at you boldly. Oh––Oh. You lifted your head back up to find him still smiling at you softly, he didn’t seem to be teasing you at all. “Um thanks.” You could feel your cheeks heating up, despite the cool air that swept your legs as someone opened the door to the cafe. “Are you uh–– a marvel fan?” 
He pursed his lips playfully, “Yeah,” his hand came up to rub the back of his neck, “Yeah you could say that.” He licked his lips and took another sip of his drink.
Your eyes, with a mind of their own, trailed down the column of his throat, following the vein on the side of his neck, the way his adams apple bobbed as he swallowed the warm liquid. The action almost seemed provocative, in both meanings of the term. 
Suddenly you felt very hot and you knew that you had to get out of there before you made a fool of yourself in front of everyone, but most importantly him. You perked up, “I uh––I have to go professor, but it was nice talking with you. See you tomorrow!” With that you quite literally ran off, wincing as you turned around, having noticed the way his lips parted as if to speak, a furrow between his brows appearing out of confusion and concern. You really had to get control of yourself. 
You practically berated yourself as you speed walked away. God, that was so stupid. And not to mention, incredibly rude! He’d probably be upset with you now, or maybe even mad. It’s just––unbelievable what he did to you, without even actually doing anything. It took you the entire walk there to realize that you unconsciously made your way back to your dorm––so much for the library. But you’d had enough social interaction for today, so you decided you’d stay there.
You got in your bed and buried yourself under the covers, deciding you needed the comfort of being hidden in your mattress after the embarrassment you’d just experienced. You lied there just staring at the plain, white ceiling for way too long until you let out a loud huff and sat up, before grabbing your computer to start your work. 
Deciding to check your college email before you started, since they were incessant and it was easy to miss something, you scanned down the list of messages in your inbox. Your eyes skimmed through the boxes on the left of your screen, notifications that your professors left feedback on your assignments, the weekly newsletter, club events, a message from Holland, Tom––
You shut your computer immediately, eyes bulging as you held your breath. You swallowed thickly, as you stared into nothing in front of you, your eyes barely taking in anything, your mind a big ball of fuzz. 
After taking a few deep breaths, and telling your overdramatic brain to calm down, you opened the laptop again. Biting your lip, you hovered your mouse over the message, reading over the small bits of information you could see in the preview.
Holland, Tom
Just checking in
Hi Y/N, I just wanted to make  …
You could feel your heart beating through your chest. Oh God––Wanted to make sure what?? The sensible part of your brain said to just open it to figure it out for yourself. But the irrational, idiotic part of your brain was yelling at you to not open it under any circumstance. What if he wanted to make sure you didn’t get the wrong idea? Did he know how you felt about him? Were you that obvious? Maybe he thinks you’re clinically insane and wants to make sure you’re getting the attention you need? You did run off like a crazy person, after all. 
You shut your eyes tight and groaned loudly into your hands. Liz walked in and whistled lowly, taking in everything in front of her. You looked up, confused and looked at the time, realizing it had already been two hours since you first left the dorm, meaning she was done with her classes for the day.
“What’s up?” She took a seat at her desk, propping her legs on the table as she leaned back.
You waved her off, deciding it would be best to let this blow over and ignore it for now. You’d go back when you were in the right state of mind. 
She started telling you about her day and annoyingly, your brain decided today would be the day that it would not shut off. Your brows were furrowed as you tried your best to focus on what your friend was saying, but she wasn’t even looking in your direction, staring up into the air above her as she spoke animated, hands waving around, so she didn’t even notice you struggling to pay attention. 
Your eyes kept flitting back to the screen of your computer, your fingers swiping across the trackpad to turn it back on when the screen’s brightness lowered every now and then. 
Liz looked back at you and stopped her spiel. “Alright what’s up with you?” 
You sighed deeply and looked up at her. “Sorry, sorry. I just––I saw Professor Holland today––”
“Already?” She interrupted you, a goofy smile on her face. “Damn, you work fast.”
You threw the nearest pillow at her, “Shut up! I didn’t fuck him.”
“You should’ve.” She pointed out, holding the pillow to her chest. 
You glared at her until she raised her hands in surrender, then continued, your eyes bouncing from object to object in the room as you babbled. 
“I went to the cafe and I saw him and he came over to me and we started talking––and he whispered in my ear and he was joking around with me and he sipped his tea and he was super close to me and super hot, and I couldn’t handle it so I basically ran off without giving him a chance to say bye.” You took a deep breath, “And then he sent me an email after I saw him and I still haven’t opened it because I’m scared and I don’t know what he said…” You took another breath and looked at your friend, blinking as she just stared at you.
After a moment, she spoke up. “Dude just open the email.”
Your eyes widened almost in offense. “Did you not listen to anything I just said?”
“Yeah you practically fucked in the cafe then you got scared and ran away.” She spoke nonchalantly and you could tell she was fighting off a smile. “Look, eventually you have to open the email anyway, you can’t just ignore it. So just do it and rip the bandaid off.” You were about to speak up when she interrupted you, “I promise it won’t be half as bad as you think. We both know your mind is absolutely filled with the craziest ideas.” 
You huffed and fell back down on the bed, not bothering to argue since you both knew she was right. 
“Shit, I’m starving.” She looked at the time, “Yeah it’s about time for me to eat food.” She stood up, “Come on, let’s go.”
“Can you please get something for me?” She knew you well enough that you didn’t have to tell her what to get. You gave her your best smile and shrugged your shoulders.
“Are you serious.” She looked at you, deadpan, standing like the little emoji of the woman standing in place with her arms at her sides. 
You had to suppress your smile, “What if I see him?” You asked incredulously, lying further in the covers. “I’d rather stay in here and hide, for now.”
“You have class with him tomorrow––”
“That’s why I said for now.”
She cracked a smile, rolling her eyes as she grabbed her things, “You’re ridiculous.”
“Love you!”
“Yeah yeah,” she waved her hand and walked out the door. 
A few moments passed after Liz left and you sat up yet again, putting your computer on your lap as you swiped the trackpad, making the screen light up again. You checked the time, it had been almost an hour since he sent the email, you really shouldn’t make him wait any longer. Not that he’s waiting at all, he probably didn’t even notice that you hadn’t responded.
You inhaled and exhaled slowly, swallowed your nerves and clicked on the email. 
Holland, Tom
Just checking in
Hi Y/N, 
I just wanted to make sure everything was alright. You seemed kind of stressed when you left earlier and I’m hoping it wasn’t because of anything I did. Can we check in tomorrow in my office? Hope everything is going well. 
Warmest Regards,
Professor Holland
He wanted to meet tomorrow after class. In his office. Alone. 
Oh, fuck. You could hear Liz in your head going Yes, fuck. But you quickly shoved her aside. 
You read over the email about five times to make sure you weren’t misinterpreting anything, because that would be even more embarrassing. You clicked the reply button and slowly wrote out your response.
Hi Professor Holland,
Everything is fine, but thank you for asking, I appreciate the concern. I’m free tomorrow after class if you’re available then.
Thank you!
Y/N
You hit send and not even two minutes later, you received a response. 
Hi Y/N,
Perfect! I’ll see you then :)
Warmly,
Professor Holland
How on earth were you supposed to focus on your work now? More importantly, how were you going to focus in class tomorrow?
❊❊❊❊
The next day, the butterflies in your stomach would not calm down. When you stepped into the class, he was talking to another student and you tried to sneak past to your seat unnoticed. You thought you’d succeeded but once you sat down and looked up, you made direct eye contact with him and you swear you stopped breathing. You barely even recognized the sound of everyone moving around you, getting ready for class to start. 
He parted his lips and reluctantly turned back to the student still talking to him, snapping out of his daze, but not after glancing back at you. You swallowed and sank down in your seat. This was going to be a long class. 
At 1:35, class started. Professor Holland stood up and clasped his hands, making his way to the middle of the floor in front of everybody, his voice reverberating through the room. 
“Good afternoon everybody. Hope you’re all doing well.” His eyes found yours and you bit your lip nervously. You could see him swallow as he watched you, before moving his gaze elsewhere. Was that because of you? Surely, it had to be a coincidence. Maybe you made him uncomfortable. Oh great––
He went on, seemingly unfazed, eyes darting back to you subtly before continuing. The discussion soon turned to the book you’d just been assigned to read. The book was rather lengthy but there were always so many things to talk about within only a few pages––which you loved, so it was taking you all a while to go through everything together in class. 
The conversations often took up a lot of the class time since Professor Holland simply loved talking and he always found everyone’s interpretations interesting and worth exploring––eager to hear our classmates perspectives. He also often said that he was not good at using technology, so he preferred to just talk and show rather than use his computer. Honestly, you found it endearing.
The conversations were always interesting to listen to, people never failed to give you insight on things you hadn’t even thought of before, but sometimes––some people were just a little stupid.
Someone brought up a slightly sexist point that made absolutely no sense but since you weren’t the one to call someone out in front of a room full of people, you stuck to your facial reactions instead of audibly responding. You turned back to the front of the class to see Professor Holland’s opinion to find that he was watching you, trying and failing to suppress his smile. 
He put both hands in his pockets which you found ironic considering they would jump out any time soon––he loved to talk with his hands. His eyes got serious, the smile on his face a little less friendly as he addressed the sophomore who made the comment. “I don’t know if you’re aware of how ludicrously sexist that comment you just made was, but now you know.” He turned to the rest of the class. “Remember to think before you speak. This isn’t to necessarily call anyone out. It’s a warning. Senseless remarks will not only affect my view of you, but your grades as well.” 
He went on and tried to shape the boy’s comment into something appropriate to discuss and you honestly couldn’t focus on anything else he said, you were just looking at him in awe and in shock. Sure, this was the bare minimum, but since it was so rare to see, it was very noticeable and even impressive when you noticed it.
God, you adored this man.
Near the end of class, he announced the next assignment, a paper you’d have to write about a comparison you made between any point in the story, a character, a theme, a hidden meaning, etc. and something in our modern reality, a social norm, a popular belief, etc. Your essays were always very open ended in this class, giving you room to write about almost anything you wanted to. Your professor knew that the assignments would be more enjoyable if there was some choice involved. He truly was good at his job. 
“Look, reading’s hard sometimes, I get it. I’m dyslexic, so trust me, I understand. But I never let that stop me.” He paused to look around the room and it was so silent you could hear each other’s inhales and exhales. The power he had over a room full of around one hundred people was insane, and in a weird way, also turned you on. “I know the book is massive. Listen to the audio books if you have to, I don’t mind. But get the work done either way. It’s not for me, it’s for you. I want you to get the best grade you can in this class.”
“Bring me interesting material. I don’t want to fall asleep reading your work.” He joked and smiled proudly when laughter filled the room. “The essay is due in two weeks. Good luck.”
There were a few thank you’s and goodbyes scattered around the room as he sent everyone off, people scurrying from all sides to the exits. 
You took your time gathering all your things and took a deep breath when the last few people made their way out, silence soon surrounding the both of you. You put your bag over your shoulder and walked down the carpeted steps, suddenly finding the dark grey pattern to be the most interesting things you’ve ever seen––and also watching your steps so that you don’t fall down them in front of him. You could barely hear the soft patter of your shoes as you walked down. When you finally got the main floor you looked up and saw him waiting for you patiently, things in his hands, a smile on his face. 
“Let’s go then, shall we?” You nodded shyly and he led the way, his office only a hallway away from the lecture hall. You found it slightly odd that he didn’t try to make conversation on your way there, since he always loved to. But you tried not to think too hard about it. Maybe he was just tired. 
When you reached his office, he opened the door and let you walk in first. Your eyes immediately scanned the room out of curiosity as you stepped inside, noticing his desk, the wood a dark mahogany which was covered with stacks of papers, picture frames, pens, and a few marvel funko pops––so he really was a fan. You’d never actually been inside of his office before. It was an intimidating thought for you to be in his office with him, alone. You just didn’t want to embarrass yourself. 
You turned to him and gestured to the chair across from his desk, “Do I just––”
“Please,” he interrupted eagerly. “Make yourself comfortable.” 
You took a seat and he set his things down next to his desk before sitting as well. His hair was coiffed to perfection today, curls sculpted nicely, a dark blue suit on his body with a black shirt underneath. He took off the suit jacket and put it on the back of his chair and you could see his veins and muscles bulging and shifting in his arms as he moved. He clasped his hands in front of him on the desk and wow he had nice fingers. You really had to get a grip on yourself––
“How was class today for you? Well, besides that one disappointing comment.”
You smiled, “I always enjoy the class, but yeah that was uh, disappointing as you said.
“I think your interpretations are always very insightful and very interesting. It’s almost a shame that you don’t share them with the whole class but part of me likes it that we keep them between us.” Oh? “Plus, I know how scary it can be talking in front of all those people. I almost shit myself first time I taught that class––”
You let out a surprised laughter and he couldn’t help laugh as well. 
“Shit, sorry! I mean––” He sighed, “Language, sorry. I’m British.” He shrugged, “Can’t help it.”
You shook your head, “It’s okay. Personally I think curse words spice up conversations.” You smiled proudly when he laughed at your joke. 
His smile radiated a more nervous energy after his laughter died off. “When you ran off yesterday, that wasn’t––was that because of me? Because if I did something to make you uncomfortable I’m so sorry.”
You tilted your head, trying to think of a way to explain. “No it wasn’t, well––it kind of was?” You had no idea why you would tell him this, but apparently your mouth was moving without agreeing with your mind first. 
There was almost a pout on his face and you had the sudden urge to reach over the table and smooth it out with your lips. “It’s just, well––You make me just a little bit nervous, to be honest professor.” You looked down at your lap and back up at him timidly.
He raised his brows, “Oh––”
Your smile was strained and you wanted nothing more than to be swallowed whole by the floor. 
“Well that’s not a bad thing, is it?” He looked at you almost, hopefully?
You laughed, “No trust me, it’s not.” Your eyes widened at the realization of what you’d basically just admitted to him and you didn’t know if you should feel embarrassed or relieved when the smirk appeared on his face.
But the words that he uttered next cleared that up for you. “Well, if I’m honest, you make me nervous too, darling. And definitely not in a bad way.” He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, almost teasing you with how good he looked.
You licked your lips, your mouth suddenly feeling dry, crossing your legs, your thighs squeezing together, and he definitely noticed, his eyes trailing down your body as he licked his lips as well. 
The tension in the room was so thick but you found that you didn’t want to escape it, if anything you wanted to carve your way through it, stay for as long as you could until it snapped. 
Your professor spread his legs, his hands coming down to rub at his thighs as he watched you and the sound of your heartbeat pounding filled your ears. It was almost as if there was an unseen force pulling the two of you together, but before it could there was a knock at the door. 
The both of your heads snapped to the door to find it opening slowly. Jacob, Tom’s teaching assistant popped his head in. You had talked to him a few times, he was always very nice. He didn’t attend every class, but you guessed that he would be attending the next one. “Hey man.” He turned to you and smiled, “Oh hi Y/N.” You waved and let out a small hi in response. He turned back to the professor. “Your next class is starting like––” He looked at his watch. “Now.” 
“Shit, sorry man. Lost track of time.” He got up and you did too, smiling sheepishly as you grabbed your things, getting up from your seat. “I’ll be right there.” Jacob nodded and closed the door.
You both made your way over to the exit slowly, still reeling from what maybe could have happened and what you both obviously thought of. The silence was loud around you, but it wasn’t scary this time. 
“Let me know if you need any help with the upcoming assignment, alright? Don’t be afraid to stop by if you need to.” His gaze dropped down to your lips for a split second before reaching your eyes again. “For anything.” He looked at you with an expression you couldn’t describe but quickly tried to mask it with a smile as he opened the door for you, his eyes practically holding yours captive. 
“Thank you, professor. I will.” 
You stepped out and he watched you for a few moments before closing the door. You looked back, smiling as you caught his eye and as soon as he stepped back in the office, you practically ran out of the building and to your dorm, a stupid grin on your face. 
“Holy shit.”
❊❊❊❊
When you practically burst into your dorm room, scaring Liz half to death before you told her what happened, let’s just say she wasn’t surprised in the slightest.
“I fucking told you!” She flopped onto her bed, still staring at you pointedly as she did so, a smirk on her face. She pointed at you before dropping her hand down dramatically by her side. “You like, owe me a soda now or something.” 
You rolled your eyes but you were so giddy the smile still hadn’t dropped from your face. “Well I do owe you for getting me lunch yesterday, so maybe I will buy you one.”
❊❊❊❊
Over the weekend, you started working on the essay for British Literature and you were already about halfway done since the topic you chose actually interested you. But you found yourself questioning if you were writing it properly as you went on. You weren’t sure if it was because you wanted it to be near perfect since you’d found out he paid extra attention to you, or maybe you just wanted to talk to him again––you’d never know. 
After discussing with Liz, you decided you’d stop by his office on Monday afternoon once you were done with your classes. You knew he liked to stay in his office until late at night sometimes, he always said we could stop by whenever, if we needed something. So you decided to take advantage of that, shoving down your anxious thoughts and doing what you wanted. 
Liz may or may not have convinced you to wear a shirt that was––aesthetically pleasing, to put it, specifically in the chest area so you were more than eager to see your professor’s reaction. You were a little nervous, you didn’t want it to seem like you were trying too hard, but you thought you looked good in this shirt, and you had a right to feel good about yourself. Since it was a little chilly outside, you hid it under a sweatshirt for now.
You got to his office and found yourself staring at the dark wood, hesitating to knock on. After taking a deep breath you rapped your knuckles against the door. 
You heard a faint Come in! And you took a deep breath and opened the door slowly to find him sitting at his desk, “Hi Professor Holland.” He was finishing some notes on a student’s essay but his head snapped up immediately at the sound of your voice.
He dropped his pen and sat up, “Please,” he motioned to the seat across from his desk and you smiled gratefully before settling down. “What can I do for you? Everything alright?”
His eyes looked sincere and concerned and you could feel your insides melting a little bit. 
“I just––I really want to do well on this essay,” He nodded for you to continue, “But I’m just not sure if I’m going in the right direction.”
 He nodded understandingly, “Well let’s have a look, shall we?”
You reached down to grab your things when he stood up and walked past you, your eyes following him in confusion. He gestured to the couch, a somewhat impish smile on his face. “Just thought it would be more comfortable––and easier for us to look together, of course.”
You nodded, a small smile on your face as you picked up your bag and sat next to him on the couch. “Right, of course.” It was a loveseat so there wasn’t much room for either of you to distance yourselves.
You got out your computer and opened up the essay. You had already opened it before you got there, not wanting to have to awkwardly wait for it to load. Yes, you overthought things but––it helped sometimes. “I see you came prepared,” he joked and you couldn’t help but smile. He really did notice everything, didn’t he.
“Well I’m really confident about the topic of my essay, I think it’s interesting. But I feel like I may be adding too much into the paper, and I’m not sure if I’m overthinking things or if I should take some things out.” 
“I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think. I meant it when I said I appreciate having you in my class, you know. I always love reading your work. You write well.” 
“Thank you, professor.” Though you saw his eyes darken at the title, he commented on it.
“You can call me Tom when we’re alone, darling. No need for formalities.”
“But I like calling you professor––” Your hand shot up to cover your mouth and you spoke before he could, ignoring his smile, “I mean um. Tom––Okay I can try that.”
His tongue passed under his teeth, a devilish smirk on his face as he watched you squirm under his gaze. “No you know, now I think professor is growing on me.”
You pursed your lips, rolling your eyes. “Prof––Tom.”
He raised his hands in surrender, “Alright alright.” 
“Why don’t you read it to me? It’s easier to see where you can improve when you hear it out loud.”
You swallowed nervously, nodding your head as you brought your laptop closer to you. “O––Okay.”
You started reading your paper out loud, voice becoming slightly steadier as you went on, two fingers scrolling up the trackpad. He made comments as you read, only praise––and with each compliment you felt yourself getting hotter. Very good. Always write so well. Nice point there. Mhm. Good girl, that’s an excellent point. He shifted his way closer to you gradually as you read on and when his thigh touched yours, you had to tell yourself not to jump from the contact.  
He placed his arm on the back of the couch, basically around your shoulder and you had to smush down the urge to throw your computer and climb into his lap. His thighs did look very inviting with the way he was sitting, though. 
He moved closer to you and you could feel his breath cascading down over your shoulder as he brought his hand to the trackpad, his arm over your thigh, fingers scrolling through to where he had a few suggestions. 
When he finished his few remarks, you could hear the proud smile in his voice. “See, I knew it wouldn’t be as bad as you thought. You’re a good writer...” He paused and you turned your head slightly to find his lips mere inches from yours, his eyes trained on your mouth. His words were barely a whisper when he spoke up again, “A good student.” You both leaned in slowly and his hand came up to hold your cheek lightly. “Bet you’d be a good girl for me too.” 
You gasped lightly and leaned forward, giving in and finally pressing your lips to his, both your hands grabbing his jaw. He moaned immediately, his body pressing into yours as you twisted to face him, his other hand coming around your waist to pull you in. You felt your laptop slipping off your thighs and squeaked, making the both of you laugh and pull away, flustered. 
“Careful, love.” Tom grabbed the computer and put it down on the floor gently, confirming that you saved your work before pushing the lid closed. 
The air in the room was hot, thanks to Tom in general, but also thanks to what you just did. So you pulled away and couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Tom’s pout when he thought you were getting up to leave. Since there wasn’t much space on the couch, you stood up to take your hoodie off and you heard his breath hitch when his eyes fell upon the shirt you were wearing. “Christ-”
“Now what’s this?” Tom said almost to himself, his eyes staring at you in wonder and awe. “Never seen this little number before.” He noticed the clothes you wore? His hands were already aching to feel you again, reaching out for you subconsciously and you bit your lip to calm your smile as you sat back down, letting your sweater fall to the floor softly. 
“What, this old thing?” You joked, looking down at the shirt––yeah, you looked good. “You like it?” You looked up at him, a cheekily innocent look in your eyes.
He put his hands around your waist and pulled you into his lap, enjoying the gasp it elicited from you. You put your hands gingerly on his shoulders and the way he was looking up at you made you never want to leave this position ever again. You tilted your head and licked your lips and Tom couldn’t take it anymore, he kissed you again, hands gripping you firmly, anchoring you to him. He pulled away after a good while, wanting to look at you again, his lips parted, practically panting like an animal. You really had an effect on him, but he did the same to you. 
His eyes were taking you in, basically capturing a mental image for later. “God, you look heavenly, darling.” You squirmed in his lap and bit your lip when you felt a bulge growing underneath you. He leaned forward and left a trail of kisses on the tops of your breasts, leaving a few teasing nips and sucks here and there. You squealed, your hands coming up to run your fingers through his hair. You pulled his head up by his hair and the look in his eyes looked absolutely feral––like he wanted to eat you. 
You were about to lean in and kiss him again when a knock at the door surprised the both of you. You both jumped off of the couch as Tom threw out excuses. “Yeah just a second!” You straightened out your shirt as Tom did the same to his pants and you picked up your things. 
When he saw that you were settled, he took a deep breath and answered the door. His colleague and best friend Professor Osterfield, was standing there, a grin on his face. “You div, are you ever going to be on time for our monthly meetings?––” He stood up straight when he noticed you standing behind Tom. “Oh, I didn’t know you had company.” He looked between the two of you and it seemed as though he pieced everything together. Maybe Tom had told him about you? If he did, you wouldn’t be worried Tom didn’t seem like the type to tell unreliable people his business––and they were best friends after all.
You smiled at him in acknowledgement as moved aside to let you pass. “Sorry,” you looked between the both of them, “I’ll let you get to whatever you have to go to.” You looked at Tom once you were out of his office, “Thank you for the feedback, professor.”
You could see him fighting off his smirk before he replied, “Of course.” His stare was impenetrable as he looked at you, “Feel free to come by whenever.” You could see the hidden meaning in his words and let the hint of a smile show, before nodding and walking off.
Harrison looked at him, a pitiful smile on his face. “I hope you know what you’re doing, mate. You should be careful, for the both of you.”
Tom sighed, not wanting to have this conversation. “I know, man. Let’s go.” 
❊❊❊❊
You found yourself missing Tom as soon as you left. God, this was kind of pathetic. But at least your feelings weren’t necessarily one sided––he did say you made him nervous too after all. You doubt he’d say that if he just wanted to fuck you––he was better than most men. And sure you might be a little biased, but at the end of the day he had a good heart and he was educated. So bonus. 
When you stepped into your dorm, your roommate was sitting on her bed, snacks in hand as she looked at you expectantly. “Now these,” she gestured to the food on her bed, “are either for a story time, to rebuild your energy or both.” 
You laughed and changed into your pajamas, starting to tell your best friend about everything that just happened. She often interrupted with her reactions and comments.
Oh. My. God.
Shut. Up.
You’re fucking lying! 
“But we didn’t fuck.”
“Boo––”
“Yes, boo.” You laughed, “Professor Osterfield knocked at the door and dragged him off to a meeting so.” You shrugged.
“Professor Osterfield...is that the hot blond one?” You nodded and she continued expressing her feelings for the man. “I’d let him teach me a few things––”
“Literally bye.”
She laughed, “What? Come on have you seen him––”
“I’m a little preoccupied with another professor to be honest.”
She nodded, handing you a bag of chips as you settled in your bed. “True. And oh how lucky you are.” You smiled in agreement. 
❊❊❊❊
Today was the day the essay was due and though you normally handed it in at the beginning of class, for once, you didn’t and you could feel Tom’s gaze following you as you walked up the steps to your seat without so much as a glance in his direction. You’d stopped by his office a few times over the past two weeks since Harrison interrupted you, but you never did anything more than kissing and grinding. You were both too scared of getting caught, but that doesn’t mean you hadn’t thought about doing more in there.  
Tom liked to have physical copies of the essays, just in case technology decides it’s against him (his words), so everyone had until 8pm tonight to drop it off by his office. You were definitely going to use that to your advantage. 
You didn’t wear anything provocative to class, you didn’t really want that kind of attention today, plus you knew that Tom’s interest in you wasn’t solely based on your appearance. So you put the revealing items on under your clothing. And honestly, the thought that no one knew what you were wearing underneath it all only excited you even further. 
You crossed your legs, relieving your tension and biting your lip as class went on, enjoying how flustered Tom would be every time he looked at you. You felt so submissive when you were alone with him, but when you were in public like this? Free to tease him subtly from a distance? That’s where you had all the power. 
You had him blushing and stuttering throughout the whole class, though it wouldn’t have been easy for everyone else to notice, for you it was so obvious. He kept rubbing his hands together, pacing around as his eyes darted to you every few minutes. At one point he went over to sit down at his desk, which he rarely did while teaching––and you were fairly certain it was to hide a bulge in his pants. All thanks to you. 
In the middle of the class, you felt your phone vibrate in your bag and pulled it out just to see if it was an emergency. You were pleasantly surprised and could feel your whole body react when you noticed who the message was from.
Tom: Having fun, are you?
Your eyes shot up to the front of the room and you bit your lip to contain your smile when you noticed him glaring at you.
Y/N: I always have fun in this class, professor ;)
You put your phone away afterwards and focused on the class, knowing it was killing Tom that you weren’t giving him more attention. Your heart was racing and your panties had a wet patch by the time class was over. You had a feeling he was going to try to keep you after class, so you hurried up and gathered your things, sighing in relief when a few students went up to his desk to talk to him. 
You smirked to yourself and headed straight for the door, your head high on your shoulders. But just as you were about two feet from the exit, Tom spoke up. 
“I assume I’ll be seeing you later, Miss Y/L/N?”
You turned around, eyes slightly widening as you noticed him, the group of students near him.
He smirked slyly, “To turn in your paper, remember?” His eyes were giving you a knowing look.
You swallowed, nodding as you smiled at him innocently. “Of course, professor.” You enjoyed the way his eyes darkened only slightly, only noticeable to you. “See you then.” With that you walked out.
❊❊❊❊
You practically skipped to his office at around 7:45, before knocking at the door, four knocks in a specific pattern––the code you’d made together. 
“Come in, darling!”
You walked in and quickly shut the door, a chuckle escaping you. “You know someone could hear you from the outside one day, right?”
He shrugged, “I’ll just blame it on my accent. Could call everyone darling, they don’t know any better.”
You laughed. “Okay well––Professor Holland,” you said, loving the way he looked at you when you uttered his title. “I brought this for you.” You took out the printed essay and placed it on his desk.
He pushed his chair out, his eyes following your every move as he spread his legs. “Oh is that right?” 
You took the invitation and took your reserved seat in his lap, linking your arms around his neck as you looked down at him. “Mhm, still want a good grade in this class you know. You are my favorite professor after all.”
He smirked smugly, licking his lips. “And you,” he kissed your lips before pulling away briefly, “Are my favorite girl.” He brought his hands up your back and pulled you into him as he kissed you again. This time, longer and deeper, wanting to feel you as much as possible. “Teased me so much in class today.” You smiled into the kiss and he continued, “Almost wanted to take you over my knee right there in front of everyone.” 
You moaned audibly and he brought his hand up to your neck, gripping you softly but firmly, giving you room to pull away if you didn’t approve. When you leaned further into his grip, he grinned and pulled you closer. You started grinding down on him, basking in the desperate groans and sighs you were coaxing out of him, the way his movements became more frantic as he bucked into you. 
After debating with yourself in your head for a moment––struggling to think properly with his hands all over you, you got off of his lap and smiled at the small whines of protest he let out before reaching for his belt. You made eye contact with him and noticed how wide his eyes were, hopeful, hungry, but hesitant. 
His hands reached for yours, “You don’t have to, darling. If anything I should be doing this first. God knows I’ve thought about it.”
You pouted, trying your best to ignore his words and focus on the task at hand. “But I want to,” you kissed his cheek, “I wanna make you feel good, professor.” He nodded, barely able to speak.
“Yeah? You wanna be a good girl for me?” 
You nodded eagerly, licking your lips as he pulled himself out of his trousers. “More than anything. Wanna make up for earlier.” You got down on your knees, mouth practically salivating at the way his member stood tall against his abdomen, his tip leaking with precum. 
Your hand wrapped around him just as a knock sounded at the door. Professor?
The both of your eyes widened, the both of you looking around for some sort of answer before he ushered you under the desk, tucking himself back in hastily, pulling his chair as much as he could and sitting at the edge, hiding his unbuttoned and unbuckled pants. Luckily for the both of you, the back of the desk reached the floor, so whoever it was wouldn’t be able to see you hiding underneath. “Uh––Come in!”
The person walked in and you recognized the sound of her voice, she often spoke up in the lectures. You couldn’t remember her name, though. You do, however, remember that she often spoke up only to get Tom’s attention. You’d heard her gush about him in the halls just outside his class in the hopes of him hearing her. You couldn’t blame her, but the thought still irked you. “I just wanted to give you my paper. I hope it’s not too late.” 
Tom checked the time on his watch, 7:58. “Nope,” he laughed breathlessly, trying to compose himself, “Not too late at all, in fact just in time.” 
She handed her paper to Tom and he gave her a tight-lipped smile, trying his best not to think about the fact that your hands were trailing up his thighs and that he could feel your warm breath hitting the exposed part of his member––he really hadn’t payed attention when he tucked himself back in. 
Before he could send the girl who’s name you still hadn’t remembered off, she took a seat across from him and he swallowed nervously, a little frustrated since he was so close to getting his cock in his girl’s mouth. 
It seemed that you somehow read his thoughts because as soon as the girl kept talking for another two minutes, you pulled his member out and stroked him, licking up his shaft and he tensed, taking every ounce of self control he had not to look down at you. His hand reached down and held your cheek gently, just wanting to feel you. You nuzzled into his palm and he had to bite his lip to suppress his smile, not wanting the student across from him to think his endearing expression was meant for her. 
You honestly completely tuned out all the words she was saying, your sole focus pleasuring Tom. But you didn’t miss the flirty and falsely innocent tone in her voice. You couldn’t see her but she was no doubt batting her eyelashes at him as well. 
When she made a comment about how good his shirt looked on him, you couldn’t help yourself, you sucked his tip into your mouth with no warning, making him groan unexpectedly. You paused, eyes wide and playful as your mouth stayed around him.
“Are you okay professor?” 
He let out a strained smile, “Yes, Emma, Sorry––” So her name was Emma. “I just uh banged my knee on the desk.”
She hummed a small okay and went on.
He caught your eye, trying his best to keep his expression neutral, but boy was it hard. Especially when you were looking up at him like that, with his cock in your mouth. You licked around his tip and lowered your mouth around him and he had to force himself to focus on the girl who was still talking to him.
You were not playing fair but quite frankly you didn’t care. You were making him feel good and yourself too. Your hand was pumping him, your tongue swirling around him as quietly as you could, while your other hand found its place between your thighs. 
In the middle of Emma’s speech, Tom’s eyes drifted down and widened, his breath getting caught in his throat when he noticed your other hand, moving between your legs. He stuttered out an excuse, unable to tear his eyes away from you for a moment, “Uh, Emma I’m so sorry––I just have so much work to do, but feel free to come back––” he paused to swallow when you sucked harder around him in reaction to his invitation. “Come back next week if you have any problems or anything else you’d like to discuss.”
She hesitantly but respectfully said goodbye and was on her way, closing the door behind her.
Tom’s hands immediately shot down to hold your head, his mouth dropped open as he watched you, approaching his high. “Shit, that’s it darling that’s it. So fucking good for me.”
“I’m gonna cum––” he warned. You simply hummed around him and sped up your movements, feeling yourself clench as he panted, his hips bucking slightly as he came into your mouth. You unfortunately weren’t able to cum but you were sure there’d be other chances. You popped off of him and swallowed his load before licking up his length teasingly slow. “Fuck, such a good girl.”
He pulled his chair out and brought you up to stand between his legs, tiling his head to look up at you, his hands rubbing up and down the backs of your thighs absentmindedly. “Was someone a little jealous?”
You shrugged, trying to act nonchalant but failing to fix your annoyed facial expression. “Maybe.”
He tucked himself back into his pants and stood up, chuckling as he squeezed your cheek. “I’m yours.” He pecked your lips, before looking in your eyes, “And I’m most definitely repaying the favor when we get home. I mean––if you want to, of course.” Home. 
You couldn’t help but smile, “Yeah––Okay.” 
You’d never been to Tom’s house before so this felt like sort of a big deal to you, but you were going to try and calm your racing thoughts and heart. You and Tom agreed that you would go around the corner of the building for him to pick you up in his car, not wanting to risk anyone seeing you.
As soon as you were settled in, seatbelt on, Tom drove off and honestly the thrill of having to hide was exciting to the both of you. His hand was gripping your thigh throughout the whole drive and you could tell it was meant as a reminder that he was there for you, but also that he could barely contain himself. 
Seeing Tom drive you, the flashing street lights illuminating his face, highlighting his jawline, his hand gripping your thigh––this was a sight you knew you wanted to see more. The intimacy of it all made you warm inside and the feeling of Tom’s fingertips digging into your skin only riled you up further.
You leaned over to kiss his cheek and he smiled at the feeling of your soft lips drifting over his skin. “Darling––” His words were cut off by a harsh moan when you trailed your lips down to his sweet spot, the noise almost too loud for the quiet, tense air in the car.
You teased, licked and bit at his skin, not afraid to leave marks. It was Friday now, if anyone saw them on Monday, they would just assume he’d had an eventful weekend. Honestly, the thought that no one would know that you were the one who left those marks excited you––it would be a secret between you and Tom, a thing for the two of you to share on your own.
Tom’s hands were now gripping the wheel and your thigh with force, trying to get his bearings. “You’re being very naughty today, love. Can’t say that I don’t love it though.”
You smiled sinfully into his neck, continuing your actions. Your hand slid over his thigh teasingly slow to rest on his bulge, fingers squeezing ever so softly and he practically jolted in his seat. “Christ––love unless you want me to crash this car I suggest you stop.”
You pulled away, satisfied with how much you’d riled him up. He almost whined at the loss of contact, subconsciously upset that you’d actually stopped. But as your hand reached back down to find its place between your thighs, his tone shifted. 
“Don’t you dare touch what’s mine. That’s my job.”
You actually felt a shiver pass through your body and you squeezed your thighs together at the sound of his dominant voice, excited for what was to come.
When you made it to his apartment, you barely had time to take in the scenery and take off your shoes and jackets before he dragged you to his room. But from what you saw, the decor was simple but elegant, much like Tom. His bedroom was the same, but again, you weren’t too focused on it.
He turned on the dim light in his room, wanting to be able to see you as he pleased you. He stepped closer to you and placed his hands on your waist, looking deep into your eyes. “You still want this?” 
You nodded absolutely certain. “Want you to take me.”
His pupils dilated and he pulled your shirt up and over your head, licking his lips, eyes widening when he noticed what you were wearing and you couldn’t help but smile.
“Christ, were you wearing this all day?” 
You nodded again. “The underwear’s matching too. Wanna see?”
He got down on his knees, a teasing but desperate tone to his voice. “You’re a smart girl, don’t ask stupid questions.” He unbuttoned your pants and pulled them down along with your socks, mouth dropping open as he got to see the full set. 
You ran your hands up and down your body teasingly as he stood up. “Do you like it?”
He shook his head, smiling in disbelief, “Again with the silly questions, love.” He leaned in to kiss you, pulling away to take off his clothes. “You look like a goddess, darling.” You could feel your skin heating up from his words and his stare. He pulled you in for another kiss before bringing you onto the bed.
You lied down in the middle and spread your legs, waiting for him eagerly as he lied down between them. “Can’t fucking wait to taste you, love.” 
He pulled your panties over to the side and licked into you, his tongue softly swiping through your folds. His eyes rolled back as he moaned into you, “Taste just as perfect as you look.” He slid his hands around your thighs and pulled you in closer, smiling at the small squeak you let out.
His tongue was exploring you, finding all the spots and all the tricks that made your toes curl and your breath hitch. He was keeping this all to memory, memorizing the way you feel, the way you look. When your breaths quickened and your fingers tugged at his curls, he locked his arm around your stomach, slid one, then two fingers inside of you and sped up his movements, moving his head from side to side as he hummed onto your clit. 
Your body tensed and you held onto him for dear life as the knot in your stomach gave out, the pleasure spreading all throughout your body. Your mouth dropped open in ecstasy, your neck craning back and Tom couldn’t look away from you. You looked like a painting and he wanted to commit it to memory. 
He let go of you and kissed his way up your body, soothing you with his lips. Your legs were still twitching slightly, your stomach clenching and unclenching when his kisses reached your cheek. “Look so pretty when you come for me.” He kissed along your jaw, “Can’t believe you’ve deprived me of such a beautiful sight for so long.” He kissed your lips and tugged your bottom one between his teeth, before looking at you, eyes wide, “You gonna give me the privilege of seeing it again?” 
You smiled, your hands coming up to hold his cheeks. “You can see it whenever you want. As long as you’re the one making it happen.” You pulled him to you and kissed him, the both of you moaning into the small gaps between your mouths. 
He started to pull away but you whined and pulled him back making him smile. “I’ve gotta get a condom, love.”
He tried to get up again but you pulled him back down, “M’on the pill Tommy.” You looked up at him, pouting and he almost gasped––the effect you had on him was insane. “Just fuck me please.”
He didn’t need anymore convincing, grabbing a hold of his cock and swiping it through your folds, groaning out loud at how good your wetness felt. You bucked your hips and realizing you were getting desperate, he finally slid into you and all your senses immediately tuned into him. 
Just like your dream––All of your senses were in overdrive. All you could feel were the hands tracing every curve of your body, playing you like a toy they’d made themselves. All you could hear was that sweet, rough voice telling you praises and calling you endearing names as your whole body shivered from the pleasure. 
His eyes were watching your face, taking you in as he thrusted into you, making sure you were enjoying everything he was giving you. You felt absolutely amazing and so did he. “So perfect for me, darling. That’s it.” He bit his lip and sped up, making your jaw drop as you stared into his eyes, completely open and vulnerable to him. His touch was tantalizing, even better than your fantasies which only meant you’d become more addicted to him and what he could do to you.
He grunted, angling his hips when he found your spot, hitting it over and over, bringing his hand down to play with your clit. “Told you I wanted to see you cum again, pretty girl. So you’re gonna cum then I’m gonna fill you up. That sound okay?”
You nodded eagerly, eyes watching his every move as your hands gripped his arms, your thighs burning invitingly as they stretched around him with every thrust. Then you uttered that one word that always had him almost inappropriately weak for you. “Want to be full of you, professor.”
His jaw slacked and he paused for a slight moment before picking up his pace, faster than before, hips chasing after both your highs, fingers still rubbing you just the way he learned, just the way you liked. “Fuck-–”
A few more thrusts and flicks of his wrist and you were tensing under him, your pussy clenching around him as he let out broken curses and moans, losing his rhythm and releasing into you with a groan. 
He rested some of his weight on you for a moment, the both of you smiling and laughing breathlessly as you took in the moment. Your hands came up to play with his curls and he sighed, leaning into your touch. He lowered his head into the crook of your neck and left a few soft kisses, coaxing some sighs from you as well.  
After a moment, he rolled over and took you with him, making you nuzzle further into him, his arm wrapped around you, your leg slung over his waist. His hand was rubbing up to your ass and down to your thigh, lulling you to sleep while simultaneously riling you up again. 
He kissed your forehead and you kissed his chest in response. “That was fucking amazing, love.”
You nodded and hummed in agreement, “Even better than my dreams.”
He pulled back to look at you, you could hear his heartbeat quicken and you tried to hide your face in his chest. “You had dreams about this too?”
That made you lift your head up to look at him. You could see in his eyes that he wasn’t joking but you were still slightly shocked. “Too?”
He smiled, licking his lips, “Well maybe we should discuss them, and try them out for ourselves.” His hand found its way between your legs again, making you moan but that didn’t stop you from responding.
You nodded, “For research purposes, of course.”
“Of course.” He grinned, “See, I knew I taught you well.” He leaned in to kiss you deeply, “My girl’s the perfect student.” 
You spent hours exploring each other's bodies as you reenacted your dreams, both exceeding each other's expectations every time. By the time you fell asleep in each other's arms, it was late at night and you were sweaty, and tired, but overwhelmingly pleased.
❊❊❊❊
The next Friday, it was halloween. Liz had somehow convinced you to go to a halloween party with her. On top of that it was a frat party. And even worse, you dressed up as a school girl because it was all last minute and you didn’t have any time to get a costume. 
“Oh come on Y/N, you look hot!”
You turned in the full length mirror to look at your ass that was almost visible in this mini skirt. “You think so?”
“Duh.”
And that’s all the convincing you needed to go out. You needed a little college fun. You hadn’t been to a party in who knows how long because you were always focusing on your work. You deserved this. Also Liz said it was a celebration of your “lay”, yes, she said lay. 
“I’m just saying you cannot let me get with him again.”
“Liz it’s literally his frat house that we’re going to and we both know you have little to no self control.”
“Well damn. You couldn’t have sugar coated it?”
“What, you want me to throw a packet of splenda on you?” You joked.
She shoved you, “Dude shut up,” she laughed.
You looked down at your bare thighs that were only partly covered by your thigh high socks and rubbed your arms, regretting not bringing a jacket when Liz spoke up again. “Oh shit, is that Professor Holland?”
Your eyes shot up and made direct eye contact with him. He was wearing a hoodie and some sweats but he still looked great as usual. His eyes trailed down your body and soon your shivers were no longer because of the cold. 
“I’ll just wait here.” Liz said suggestively and you walked over to Tom. 
“H–Hi.”
He put his hands in his pockets to stop himself from reaching out to touch you, he didn’t know who was around. “Well hello to you too.” He looked into your eyes, a smirk on his face. You rubbed your arms quickly for warmth, and Tom had to control himself to not look at your chest, even though he could see your nipples hardening from the weather through your shirt. He wanted nothing more than to hold you in his arms and take you home. 
“Any plans?” You asked.
“No, I'm just about to go home. I’m uh guessing you have somewhere to be?” His eyes traced your figure again.
“Yeah um me and Liz are going to a frat party.” You pointed back to your friend and gave him a small smile and shrug. “She convinced me.”
He wanted to kiss you so bad but he had to restrain himself.
“Be safe tonight, yeah?” His eyes were comforting, as they always were, but this felt almost more personal? Almost like he didn’t want you to go. And honestly, after seeing him, you almost didn’t want to either. You never defined your relationship with him, so honestly right now he was like a friend with benefits––professor with benefits, if you will. 
You nodded, licking your lips nervously. “O––Okay. I will. You be safe too!”
His eyes followed you as you walked off, your friend pulling you along, obviously whispering to you, probably about him. You looked so fucking good and everyone else was going to see that too. It’s not like he owned you or anything, but part of him really wished he could claim you, openly care for you and be affectionate. His thoughts were a mix of wholesome and raunchy and he had no idea how to act.
He almost felt wrong but he couldn’t get the thoughts out of his mind, the way you looked up at him sheepishly, the innocent look in your eyes while you were wearing that mini skirt. His cock was bulging in his boxers ever since he first laid eyes on you. When he got home, he made his way to his bed, undressing almost immediately. Lying down in the middle of the bed, just where you were days before brought a flood of memories into his mind, only making his member throb even more. He tugged at his cock, spitting in his hand to make it slick.
Images of you were flashing in his mind as he sped up his movements, desperate for a release. 
He was dying to get a taste of you again. The memory of the way you felt under his fingertips, the way your muscles clenched when he hit the right spots. The way you tasted when you were dripping onto his tongue. The way you looked at him when you came, your lips parted to release broken moans and whimpers. The way your fingers gripped his curls as your body tensed. It was all enough to make him spill over his hand, his breaths coming out in quick pants as his head dropped back onto the pillow.
“Fuck.” He really had it bad for you. 
❊❊❊❊
Tom had texted you during class on Tuesday to meet him in his office when you were done with classes for the day. When you stepped into the room, he locked the door immediately, bringing you over to his desk, his lips chasing yours. Screw worrying about people hearing you, he wanted you. Now. 
“God, just seeing you in that tight little costume––you have no idea how badly I wanted to ravish you. The thought of all those dumb frat boys seeing you in all your glory like that––I was absolutely beside myself.” So that’s what this was about. His hand came up to hold your cheek, his eyes fiercely staring into yours and you nuzzled into his touch, your hand holding his wrist softly and his eyes softened at the sight of you.
“I’m gonna absolutely devour you.” You gasped and he smiled, pulling your pants along with panties down. He sat you down on his desk and got down on his knees, licking his lips. “As soon as I got a taste of you, I knew I wouldn’t be able to go without it ever again.” He kissed your thigh, looking up at you. “You gonna let me have a taste again? Wanna make you feel good, lovie.”
You nodded, swallowing roughly, “Y––Yeah. Yes please.”
He chuckled breathlessly, “Such a polite little thing you are.” He kissed his way from your inner thigh to your center before licking a torturously slow stripe from your hole to your clit. You let out a sigh and gripped the desk, your fingertips becoming lighter at how hard you were already holding it.
His hands held your thighs open, putting them over his shoulders, holding you in place. His tongue was languidly licking you up and down, savoring your taste and your moans, coaxing them out of you one by one, nonstop. He looked up at you and your breath got caught in your throat, the look in his eyes fierce, almost as if he could see your bare soul and he clearly liked what he saw. He brought his lips to close around your heat after every other swipe of his tongue, passionately kissing your heat. 
“So fucking good, angel. Always the best for me.”
You nodded, licking your lips, one of your hands coming to grab at his curls, making him growl into you. “Only for you, Tommy.”
He didn’t stop his tongue or his lips until you came, your back arching, fingers frantically grabbing for whatever you could hold, lip trapped between your teeth to muffle the moans that so desperately wanted to escape into the quiet air of the room. He kept going until you had to pull his head away from you, overwhelmed by all the pleasure and scared that you would scream and alert everyone in the building about what you were up to.
His hands were caressing your thighs, eyes looking at you in awe, almost too innocently for what you’d just done. He stood up between your legs and leaned in to kiss you, letting you taste yourself on his tongue and his lips. 
He pulled away to look at you, hands holding your hips as your legs wrapped around his waist. You brought your arms up to link around his neck, looking up at him appreciatively and absolutely spent. “So do you think I should wear school girl outfits more often?”
He laughed, his hands holding you tighter, “If you do, my head is never leaving between your thighs.”
You smiled cheekily, batting your lashes at him. “Promise?”
He’d never gotten down on his knees quicker in his life. Let’s just say it took you another hour before you left his office.
 ❊❊❊❊
Over the past few weeks it had become a routine for you to go over to Tom’s office to seemingly “work on your assignments and review,” so it wasn’t out of the ordinary for you to show up unannounced Friday afternoon. Without meaning to, though, it seemed you showed up a little too early, and ended up overhearing part of Tom and Harrison’s conversation. 
“I can tell Y/N means a lot to you, mate. Don’t lie.” Your heart dropped to your stomach as you skidded just in front of the door, about to turn the corner inside. You backed up and stayed pressed to the wall. Luckily no one really stopped by this side of the building at this time on a Friday, so no one would find you snooping around in the middle of the hallway. 
“No I just––”
No. He said no––Okay you weren’t going to freak out. This always happens in the movies, and then the main character runs away before hearing the most important part and they overreact. So you decided to just...wait it out. 
So you waited and waited. And the more the silence overwhelmed you, the louder it got. You could feel the tears starting to form in your eyes because you really thought your feelings were mutual. But just as you inched your foot backwards to walk away, he spoke up again, his voice quiet. 
“She means everything to me, man. I––It scares me, honestly. I just don’t want to mess it up.” 
This time the tears fully formed in your eyes, but for the absolute opposite reason. You smiled and wiped at your eyes, not even bothering to hide anymore as you turned the corner, surprising Tom, his eyes widening as he took in your appearance. Harrison turned around to see you and his gaze filled with concern as well. 
“Tom––” your voice was quiet but there was a smile on your face. 
“Darling––” He rushed over to you and grabbed your hands, wiping your cheeks with his thumbs to catch the few tears that escaped. “What’s wrong, are you alright?”
Your hands came up to hold his wrists as you looked into his eyes, “I heard you talking.” 
His face dropped in realization and he could feel his heart pounding in his chest. 
Harrison cleared his throat and subtly made his way out, “You guys have some things to discuss.” He put a hand on your shoulder and you both smiled at each other appreciatively before he walked out, shutting the door behind him. 
Tom took your hands and brought you over to the couch. “I hope I didn’t scare you off, love.”
You shook your head immediately, even climbing in his lap to prove him wrong and he smiled gratefully. “No! It’s just that we never really talked, you know, about us.” He nodded and you took that as a sign to continue, enjoying the way his hands subconsciously slipped under your shirt to rub at your skin soothingly. “I like you Tom, obviously. But I like you a lot.” You linked your hands behind his neck. “I think I might be falling for you.”
His eyes started tearing up as well, as he smiled, “Yeah well, I think I’ve already fallen for you, darling.” 
You looked into his eyes and your smile brightened, “Okay maybe I lied––I’ve definitely already fallen for you as well.”
You both laughed lovingly, pulling each other in for a sweet kiss.“Look,” Tom started, licking his lips. “I don’t know what this means for our future, but all I know is I don’t plan on letting you go any time soon.” 
You kissed his lips softly, “Well I don’t plan on leaving any time soon either.” 
“Good.” He looked at you and you felt as though your soul was out and open for him to hold and love. “Cause you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Y/N and I don’t ever want to lose you.” 
You could feel your eyes tearing up again. This felt good. This felt like home.
4K notes · View notes
jungshookz · 3 years
Text
smitten: y/n's note is in jungkook's bag and she needs to get it back like, right now
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➺ pairing; jeon jungkook x reader
➺ genre; smitten!miniseries!! bff!kook & smitten!y/n!! university!au!! honk honk humour!! the boo hoo angsty wattpad-energy fic of your dreams!! unrequited love!! it hurts so bad but that's what makes it so good!!
➺ wordcount; 7.1k
➺ summary; y/n realizes her meticulously written i love you note is burning a hole at the bottom of jungkook's bag and the mere thought of him finding it is enough to make her feel sick to her stomach.
➺ what to expect; "well, maybe the reason why you're just friends is because the two of you won't allow yourselves to be more than that."
➺ smitten: part one [the almost confession]
»»————- 🖤 ————-««
[previously, on smitten...]
what?
where the hell is it?
you reach into the side pockets and you're disappointed when you end up pulling out old tissues and empty gum wrappers
it's not in the front pocket either — just your keys, a pack of bubblegum, and a small bottle of hand sanitizer
your brows knit together in deep thought as you settle back against your seat, your eyes flickering to the side as you-
you immediately pale
oh my god.
you're positive that your heart stops beating for three whole seconds the moment you realize where exactly the note is — because no, you idiot, you didn't shove it into your own bag earlier-
the note is in jungkook's bag.
»»————- 🖤 ————-««
the next thirty or so minutes of class seem to drag on at a snail's pace and you find yourself checking the time on your phone every five seconds to see when you can finally dart out those doors
your first instinct was to immediately get up and leave because of course you wanted to immediately get up and leave, but with only twenty-ish people in the class and the fact that you're seated near the front... well, it would be a little awkward to just pack up your things and trek up towards the doors without a legitimate excuse (you were tempted to tell your professor that your stomach wasn't feeling very good but the thought of your peers associating you with explosive diarrhea quickly changed your mind)
so, you decided to be a good student and wait it out — but, being perfectly honest, you haven't really been paying much attention to the professor since the thought of you shoving your hi bestie, i'm head-over-heels in love with you note into jungkook's bag instead of yours contaminated your mind five minutes ago
...
you let out a little huff before shaking your head to yourself
how could you be so careless?!
you don't even know how it happened
your bag was sitting on your right thigh, jungkook's bag was sitting on your left thigh... so how the hell did you manage to shove it into his bag??
on the bright side, at least you know where it is, right?
it's in the right side pocket of the bag, so all you have to do is unzip it and stick your hand in and out really quickly without jungkook noticing you rummaging around in his belongings
...but what if he's already read the note?
your foot taps impatiently against the carpeted ground and you reach up and start tugging at your earlobe anxiously, your eyes flickering up towards the dusty analog clock hanging on the wall
c'mon... c'mon...
your grip tightens around your pencil as you continue to trace circles aimlessly on the page, the paper crinkling slightly from the amount of pressure you're putting on it
the stress that's currently eating away at you is probably going to take ten years off your life
"-so, that's pretty much it from me for the day!"
you don't think you've ever been so happy for a class to end as soon as the screen goes black at the front and you waste absolutely no time in packing up
you probably look insane trying to shove your laptop and your notebook into your bag at the same time but you couldn't care less at this point because you need to get the hell out of here
"-please remember to contribute to the discussion threads online... at least four responses, please, and none of those bullshit 'yes, i agree!' responses. i'm definitely not going to count those as participation marks-"
you close your bag with a sharp ziiiip! and you hurry to fold the squeaky desk back into place, a couple of people turning to glance at you for the sudden abundance of clattering and knocking coming from your direction
"excuse me, pardon me-" you pull your backpack on as you step over multiple sets of legs, trying your best not to trample on any feet or knock anyone's tooth out with your bag, "sorry! excuse me-"
you can feel the adrenaline pumping through your veins as you jog up the steps two at a time, your brain immediately mapping out the route to the library jungkook said he'd be at
best case scenario: he hasn't found the note and your friendship with him is still very much in tact
worst case scenario: he found the note and is currently reading it at this point in time and your friendship with him is starting to crumble but you still have a chance to swoop in and pick up the pieces
the absolutely worst case ever in the entire world scenario: he's found the note, he's read the note, he's processed the note, and your friendship with him has been completely annihilated and now he's planning to change his name and leave the country so that he doesn't have to confront you about it
you use your shoulder to shove the doors open before bursting out into the open air, ignoring the concerned glances you're starting to receive from your obviously frazzled state
"oh god, oh god, oh god-!" your backpack flops wildly against your back as you rush down the narrow brick steps leading towards the main boulevard
realistically, jungkook's probably found and read the note, so all you have to do is come up with a short monologue about how all of it was fake and that the note was just a sick, twisted prank of some kind
i know that the note makes it seem like i'm telling you that i'm in love with you, but that's not the truth at all!
"woah, watch it-!"
you accidentally knock into someone's shoulder while sprinting down the lane and you turn around for a second just to hold a hand out while flashing the stranger a sheepish smile
"sorry! so sorry-" you turn back around, reaching up to keep your glasses secured on the top of your head as you continue to sprint, your sneakers slapping down against the pavement
as you read in the note, i made a point about how since we're friends, we should be honest with each other... and honestly, there are nothing but lies in the note! and there's a lesson in that, you know? words can be full of lies but we, as human beings, should be full of truths-
"nope, hate that-" you shake your head and immediately scrunch up that mental piece of paper before tossing it into your brain's garbage bin
you'd sound like an obnoxious philosophy student if you hit him with that explanation
it was a prank! i want to start a prank war with you and this is how i'm kicking things off!
that... that could work, right?
that's not bad!
just tell him that you wanted to start a prank war with him so you decided to go big or go home with an i love you, best friend note to see how he would react!
"so stupid-" you mutter to yourself, slowing down to a jog as you approach the doors to the library, "so, so stupid-"
the Super Epic Prank War ROFL XD™ explanation isn't the greatest excuse but it's the best you can do on such short notice
thankfully, it doesn't take you very long to track down jungkook considering the fact he always sits in the same area every time the two of you come here
your feet come to a screeching halt the moment you spot him and you quickly step to the side to hide behind the wall
you slowly lean over a little to peek at him
he has his headphones on and he's busy typing away at his laptop and you can tell he's concentrating really hard because he has that cute frown on his face and occasionally he'll mutter something to himself
jungkook in intense focus mode is something you find to be very endearing :-)
...
you quickly shake your head to snap yourself out of your daze before focusing on jungkook's face again
he certainly doesn't look like he just read an explosive love letter...
hm
you could still be safe!
...for now, that is.
"okay, y/n-" you stand up straight and let out a breath, giving yourself a mental pat on the head in an effort to calm your nerves, "better sooner than later, right? just- you just have to rip it off like a bandaid-"
your anxiety seems to build with every step that brings you closer to jungkook and you can almost hear the jaws theme song playing all around you
da-dum
jungkook, i swear i have a perfectly logical explanation for this...
da-dum
i know the note does a very convincing job of making it seem like i'm in love with you, but that couldn't be farther from the truth!
da-dum, da-dum
consider this your initiation into our very serious prank war, my friend!
dadumdadumdumdumbdumbdumbthisissuchadumbdumbidea-
"hi!" you greet a little too enthusiastically, trying your best not to make it seem like you just sprinted across campus to get to him even though you very clearly did
"sorry, seat's reserv- y/n?" jungkook looks up from his laptop before frowning, quickly glancing back down at his screen to check the time as he pulls his headphones off to hang around his neck, "aren't you- didn't your class end, like, literally a minute ago? why are you so- did you run here??" he asks incredulously, getting up from his seat as his brows knit together in concern
"no, no! of course i didn't run here, silly- oh, god, give me a sec-" you wheeze, bending down and gripping onto the back of the wooden chair in front of you as you try to catch your breath, your chest still falling and rising at a concerning pace from the physical stress of sprinting and the mental stress of the current situation, "it was more of a- of a brisk walk, if you think about it- jesus, i think i'm gonna throw up-"
"okay, you need to drink some water- come and sit next to me-" jungkook reaches out to help lead you around the table towards him, "god, i don't know why you thought you had to run over, it's not like i was planning on going anywhere-"
"i'm fine, kook, it's fine-"
"you're, like, literally radiating heat," jungkook turns you around and pulls your bag off your back before pulling out a chair and helping you into it, "and your face is all red!" he frowns, setting your bag down on the table and unzipping it to pull out your water bottle
"my face is always this red!" you force out a casual laugh, waving your hand to dismiss him as you lean back against the seat, "i'm fine, it's fine-"
"shut up and take a sip-" jungkook untwists the cap of your water bottle before shoving it into your hands and gently lifting it up towards your mouth, his head tilting up a little so he can check and see if you're actually drinking anything, "c'mon, hydrate yourself-"
you swallow a couple gulps of water before pulling the bottle away and reaching up to wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, "god, i love water-"
"yeah, i bet." jungkook chuckles, visibly more relieved now that he knows you won't be passing out from exhaustion anytime soon
as you put your water bottle away, your eyes lower towards jungkook's backpack slouching against the leg of his chair and almost immediately the anxiety that you thought you'd just swallowed down bubbles right back up
"so, are you going to tell me why you're acting like the cops are after you?" jungkook jokes, taking his seat before pulling his headphones off and setting them down next to his laptop
"i just, um-" you press your lips together as you slowly start to lean down, stretching your arm out towards the pocket, "i just wanted to see you, buddy!"
"i don't believe that for a second." jungkook snorts, turning to look at you
you shoot straight back up and pull your arm up and behind your head as if you're in the middle of a good stretch, "hey, what's with that tone? it's not a crime for me to want to see you-"
"you saw me at lunch! and that was only like an hour and a half ago-" jungkook turns his head to look back at his screen and you quickly revert back to your mission impossible secret agent mode
the forced smile drops from your face and you lean back down, your fingers blindly feeling for the cool metal of the zipper
"you know, you actually came at just the right time-" jungkook speaks up again and you pause just in case you need to pull away from his bag, but he makes no move to turn and look at you, "ji-eun was about to leave for her class but now you can meet her before she goes off!"
"uh-huh..." your tongue pokes out in concentration as you unzip the pocket in one swift movement, immediately sticking your hand in and feeling around for the balled-up piece of paper, "sounds gre-"
hold on, what did he just say?
you shoot back up
"did you just-" you choke and reach up to pat your chest gently, "i'm sorry, did you just say that ji-eun was here?"
"uh-huh!" jungkook nods, "i didn't know she had a spare at the same time as i did so i was surprised when she came over to say hi- it turns out our schedules are, like, sort of similar which oddly makes me kind of happy-"
it's at that moment that you notice the cherry-patterned tote bag slumped in the chair sitting across from you and you let out a nervous chuckle as you shift in your seat, "great! great, that's so- great, it's great that i'm meeting ji-eun today, out of all days..." you trail off, glancing around warily as you try to come up with some kind of an exit strategy
you're just really not in the mood to meet the love of jungkook's life today
you've already been hit with so many blows and it's only two in the afternoon-
"sorry that took so long! i couldn't find a bin but i bumped into my friends and they said they'd throw it out for me-"
oh, you have got to be kidding me.
your eyes widen in mild panic upon immediately recognizing ji-eun to be the girl who had overheard your entire monologue in the bathroom earlier today — and from the way her eyes flicker, it seems as though she remembers exactly who you are as well
"oh, no worries!" jungkook beams at ji-eun before pointing to you with his thumb, "this is my friend, by the way. the one i was talking about earlier! y/n, this is ji-eun."
you stay quiet as you continue staring up at ji-eun, your mind racing a mile a minute as you consider your current options
you can pretend like you've never met her before or you can make things awkward by telling jungkook that you met her today after she'd emptied her bladder
"...y/n?" jungkook lowers his voice, nudging you with his elbow before letting out a nervous chuckle, "please say something."
"i- yes, hello!" you blurt out, the feet of your chair scraping against the rough carpet as you get up from your seat to stick your hand out towards ji-eun, "it's- ah- it's- it's so nice to meet you! i'm y/n."
ji-eun stays quiet for a second before her lips turn up in a polite smile and she reaches towards you, gently taking your outstretched hand in hers (for the record, her hands are shockingly soft and supple), "it's lovely to meet you... as well, y/n. i love your glasses!"
you can't help but notice the immediate warmth that seems to surround ji-eun and suddenly it makes a lot more sense as to why jungkook's attracted to her
you're about as comforting as stepping into a puddle of water while wearing socks
you feel a slight sense of relief seeing that ji-eun is playing along but your new concern is whether or not she's connected the dots that your monologue in the bathroom was dedicated to jungkook
you didn't actually say his name when you were talking out loud, so you might be able to get away with this...
"oh, these old things?" you reach up to feel the glasses sitting on top of your head before flicking your hand at her, "i bought them on amazon. they're blue-light glasses- i can totally send you the link if you want."
"that would actually be great!" she gasps, nodding enthusiastically, "i desperately need a pair of blue-light glasses- seriously, i stared at my laptop screen for, like, ten hours straight today and i really feel like they're about to roll out of my head-"
"oh my god, don't even get me started. at this point it'd probably feel better to rip them right out of their sockets-"
"ji-eun, you ready?"
"let's gooo, i wanna get an iced coffee before we head off to class."
you and ji-eun don't get a chance to continue bonding over the pain of sore eyes when you're suddenly interrupted by two new voices
you look up to see two guys approaching the table and you subtly push your seat back a bit as you prepare yourself to say hello again
"oh! yeah, i'm ready, sorry-" ji-eun gestures towards you with a smile, "this is- this is jungkook's friend, by the way. y/n, these are my friends."
"hi, hello-" you get up from your seat again to stick your hand out, offering the two (very handsome, might you add) strangers a friendly smile, "i'm y/n, jungkook's friend- but you- you already knew that because that's what ji-eun just said-"
"i'm taehyung! you can call me tae-" the corners of taehyung's mouth immediately raise in a bright grin and he gives your hand a firm shake before nodding next to him, "and this is jimin!"
"hi..." you trail off, turning to give jimin a handshake as well, "so nice to meet you!"
"oh, i just- i actually just washed my hands, so-" jimin chuckles, looking down at your hand before taking a small step back, "but it's nice to meet you... jungkook's friend."
ooh
is it just you or did it suddenly get a little icy in here?
"oh, no problem! um, yeah, you too." you pull your hand back before swallowing nervously and forcing the polite smile back on your face, "i like your jacket, by the way! it looks really cool."
maybe it's because he's wearing giant sunglasses indoors but you can't help but feel slightly intimidated by jimin
you can't see his eyes but you can certainly feel them on you and you're definitely getting the vibe that jimin is already not the biggest fan of you for some weird reason
"thank you." he responds curtly, smoothing a hand over the leather before looking down at ji-eun, "so can we go now?"
"mhm!" ji-eun gets up from her chair before pushing it back into place, pulling her tote back up onto her shoulder before flashing a sweet smile at jungkook, "see you later, alligator."
"in a while, crocodile!" jungkook responds enthusiastically, watching with twinkly eyes as she turns and heads off towards the exit with jimin and taehyung glued at either side of her
god
she even walks prettily
and you were literally clomping down the boulevard like a feral caveman a second ago
you wait until they've disappeared to turn and face jungkook with a raised eyebrow, "...jimin was kind of a bitch."
"hey, play nice!" jungkook frowns, reaching over to give your arm a gentle whack, "he's a fashion major! ji-eun says being snooty is part of the degree requirements-" he grins, shaking his head slightly before leaning back against his chair, "she's, like, super funny."
"mm." you hum, still feeling a little uneasy about your interaction with jimin
you just hate it when first meetings don't go well and that first meeting definitely wasn't super great
but it wasn't like you did anything wrong, right?
you were great!
snooty jimin was the one who was being rude
whatever
hopefully you won't have to hang out with him too often if jungkook and ji-eun become an item
maybe you can just stick with taehyung!
he seems to be a lot friendlier
"oh, by the way, i-" you're suddenly reminded of your main mission and you turn to point down at jungkook's bag, "it's not a big deal, but i- i accidentally shoved something in your bag earlier and- could i just get it back from you?"
"you did?" jungkook frowns, leaning down to pick his bag up before unzipping it all the way and pulling both flaps open, "what was it?"
"it was- uh- just some notes on a scrap piece of paper!" you immediately feel the weight lift from your shoulders at jungkook's cluelessness to the situation, "i put it in the right side pocket-"
"wait, are you talking about, like, a balled up thing of paper?" jungkook pauses before looking up at you with wide eyes, "oh, shit- was it important??"
"um, i wouldn't call it important-" you snort, shaking your head, "is it not there? i swore it was in the right side pocket-"
"no, no, it was there! it was there, i just- ji-eun needed to spit her gum out and i thought it was one of my scrap pieces of paper-" jungkook winces, grabbing his phone and unlocking it with fumbling fingers, "i'm so sorry, y/n- let me text ji-eun and ask her which garbage can she threw it into and i can go dig it out-"
"no, no, it's okay!" you nearly let out a screech of delight knowing that your note now has a slobbery wad of gum in it and is living at the bottom of a trash can, "it's fine, i just- they were just boring notes for something. i just wanted to see if i had really shoved it into your bag or not."
"oh, okay-" jungkook's shoulders immediately slump and he sets his phone down on the table, "you're sure it wasn't important?"
"100%." you hold both hands out with a chuckle, "i needed to throw it out anyway so i guess ji-eun actually did me a favour-"
"okay, phew." jungkook sighs, zipping his bag back up and plopping it back down on the ground next to his feet, "anyways- i'm actually glad you're here because now you can help me plan out my date! i was working on it but then ji-eun came and obviously i couldn't have that google doc open in front of her-" he turns his laptop to show you all of his hard work with a grin, "check it out! i have a list of things i need to buy, i have outfit ideas, i even went on pinterest for inspiration-"
"wow, kook-" your eyes bulge out for a second at the sight of the extensive and shockingly organized google doc before you reach over to pull his laptop closer towards you, "i... i really don't think i've ever seen you... even make a google doc before-"
he even has the sunset time written down for the date
why would he need to know what time the sun is setting??
"i have everything planned for next week." jungkook pulls his laptop back to him as you settle back against your seat, "i already emailed my landlord to ask if i would even be allowed to hang out on the rooftop and he said it would be fine! he also reminded me to keep a brick wedged between the door so that i don't lock us up on the rooftop-"
"so you're definitely going with the rooftop picnic, then?"
"oh, i'm actually changing it to a rooftop dinner instead of a picnic." jungkook shakes his head before giving you a half-hearted shrug, "i think a picnic is cute but i really wanna try to impress her, y'know? i ordered this thing on amazon just now- basically, it's a medium-sized inflatable bubble tent! the description says it's perfect for two people and- i'm gonna, like-" he pauses and looks away from his screen towards you with a smile, "well, you know, i'm gonna do what you said and i'm gonna stuff it full of blankets and pillows and... hopefully i can string up fairy lights and stuff on the inside... so that after the date we can go in there and just talk and not have to worry about getting attacked by mosquitos!"
"wow, that's-" you cross your arms over your chest before leaning back and looking up towards the ceiling, "huh. that's actually a cute idea, kook. i wouldn't have been able to come up with something like that. i didn't even know transparent tents existed."
"i know." jungkook gives you a smug little smile before bursting into a grin, "but yeah, that's it! all we have to do is go and pick up all the supplies and stuff."
"we?" you frown, looking back down at jungkook, "i... wasn't aware i was part of this plan..."
"what? of course you are!" jungkook snorts, looking at you as if a third eye just sprouted from your forehead, "obviously you have to help me-"
"well, i just don't know if that's-" you chuckle uneasily as you rub the back of your neck, "i really- i don't wanna get in your way, you know? maybe you should- maybe you should just take care of all of this yourself! i mean, you basically planned everything already-"
"what? but- but you're my-" jungkook deflates and you instantly feel bad upon seeing his eyes suddenly turn sad, "okay..."
you press your lips together and wait for him to say something else but the next few seconds are filled with nothing but awkward silence and the faint buzzing of the fluorescent lights hanging above you
you'd jump off a cliff if jungkook asked you to but helping him prepare and set up his date is something that you,.., definitely would not enjoy.,.,
but then again, this isn't about you, is it?
this is about jungkook, your friend, and he needs your help to set up this very important date that-
oh, damnit.
"i'm-" you clear your throat as you sit up in your seat, reaching over to give jungkook's hand a pat, "no, of course i'll help, kook. i just thought that- well, this date seems so important to you that i thought you wanted to take care of all the details yourself!"
the bright smile immediately returns to jungkook's face and you resist the urge to call him out on so blatantly guilt-tripping you like that-
"yes! you're the best!"
"i know."
»»————- 🖤 ————-««
although you and jungkook are practically inseparable on campus (and some would say it might be healthy for the two of you to give each other a little bit of space) — you don't think you'll ever say no to hanging out with him downtown
of course, hanging out with jungkook downtown would be a lot more fun if it weren't for the fact that the two of you have basically spent the entire day shopping for all the things he needs for his date
and if it weren't for the fact that he paid for lunch and treated you to a cake pop and a venti-sized iced coffee, you would probably be livid about having to carry everything for him because you really feel like your arms are about to pop right off in about two seconds
fancy cutlery, porcelain plates, fluffy throw pillows, a giant blanket, fairy lights... at this point he might as well buy an entire house for ji-eun
and look, you know you probably sound bitter and that-should-be-me about this whole situation, but that couldn't be farther from the truth!
it's just that listening to someone you like gushing about the person that they like for an entire day while you're carrying bags full of things for their date can get a little mentally and physically exhausting so if you're grouchy right now it's really not your fault
"i think we might have to call an uber back to your place, jungkook-" you mutter, adjusting the hefty tote bag over your shoulder with a grunt as you trail behind him on the sidewalk, "bringing all of this on the bus is going to piss people off-"
you stumble over your feet a little when the bag in your right hand knocks into a garbage can and you curse to yourself while resisting the urge to kick the damn thing over
"okay, grumpy, we'll call an uber home-" jungkook spins around with a smile before raising the notepad in his hand and tapping against it with his pen, "i just have one more thing i have to take care of and then we can go!"
"okay, well-" you set the bags down onto the ground with a fwump! before rubbing your sore palms together, "what else do you have to get?"
jungkook offered to help carry a couple of things but you insisted that you'd take it all and that he should just focus on ticking off all of the items on his list
you wince at the sight of the pinkish-red imprints now embedded into your palms from the straps of the bags
obviously you've now come to regret your generous offer
"flowers!" jungkook chirps, using his pen to point to the flower shop a couple of shops down, "i have to greet ji-eun with a bouquet of flowers as pretty as she is-"
"yeah, i understand-" you adjust the two bags on both shoulders before bending down to pick up the other two on the ground, "also, i'm not a genius or anything but i'm pretty sure the flowers aren't going to survive until the date if you buy them now-"
"duh, obviously not- i'm going to place an order now and then pick them up on the day of the date!" jungkook tsks, waiting for you to join his side before he begins walking towards the flower shop, "thanks for doing all of this for me, by the way. you really are the best." he hums, hurrying over to open the door for you
"i... yeah, of course, kook." you feel yourself soften slightly as soon as you see the sweet little smile on his face and you quickly scold yourself in your head for being so curt with him all day, "that's what friends are for, right?"
"mhm!" jungkook slaps his hands down on your shoulders from behind before giving them a squeeze, "and i am so letting you choose whatever you want for dinner tonight-"
"hello!"
"oh, jesus-" you and jungkook are immediately greeted by an overenthusiastic employee as soon as you step into the shop and you honestly probably would've knocked him out with one of your shopping bags if they weren't so heavy-
"are you two looking for anything in particular?" he smiles kindly before gesturing towards the large selection of flowers all around you, "we have flowers of all kinds! roses, tulips, lilies- i can even show you flowers from our new tropical selection-"
"actually-" jungkook nudges you aside before glancing down at the employee's nametag, "seokjin, i'd like to place an order for a custom bouquet, if that's okay."
"ah, a custom bouquet!" seokjin claps his hands and rubs them together enticingly, "what are you celebrating? i need to know so that i can help pick out the perfect flowers for your bouquet."
"well, i don't know if it's a celebration-" jungkook chuckles, his cheeks pinking slightly as he reaches up to rub the back of his neck, "it's for a first date."
"a first date!!" seokjin gasps excitedly before turning his head to look at you, "you must be so-"
"-oh, not for me!" you let out a laugh before shaking your head quickly, "it's- it's definitely not for me. i'm just here to provide moral support and-" you lift one of the bags to show him, "muscular support."
"ah, i see... okay, well- why don't i take you around and introduce you to the different candidates you could consider for your bouquet?" seokjin turns back to look at jungkook, "each flower you choose will be very important in showing your future lover how much you care about them-" he pauses when he notices you hovering behind jungkook and he leans over a little with a bright smile, "why don't you go and wait by the front counter, darling? you can put everything down there and take a little break. there's some cucumber water and fresh puff pastry apple roses up at the front if you're interested!"
"well, i can't say no to free food." you snort, nodding before turning to head towards the front counter, "i'll just wait for you over there, then..."
you nearly let out a moan of relief as soon as you set all the bags down and you twist your upper body to the right and to the left until you feel the a satisfying pop! of your spine cracking back in place
your body was not made to carry heavy things
in fact, you'd like to argue that your body was made to lie down and do nothing
you take a seat on the wooden stool before turning to look at the apple roses sitting prettily in the display case and you almost feel like you shouldn't touch them even though seokjin offered them to you
even the pitcher of cucumber water looks too nice to touch
this place is awfully fancy
you didn't even know flower shops could be this fancy
you prop both elbows up on the counter before leaning back comfortably, your eyes lazily scanning around the store
"$15 for a single rose?" you gawk at the little wooden sign poking out from a large bouquet of neatly wrapped long-stem roses before making a face, "god."
you can't even imagine how much a custom bouquet is going to cost if a single rose is fifteen bucks
"-also write a note for you and attach it to the bouquet, if you're interested in that. it'll be an additional five dollars, but we handwrite it on the highest quality card stock with the most beautiful calligraphy and we even spray it with perfume-"
you perk up when you hear seokjin's voice and you look to see him and jungkook coming over to you
you have to admit that seokjin is great at his job because he's doing a good job at milking every dollar out of jungkook-
"yeah, that would be great!" jungkook nods enthusiastically, pulling his backpack off before unzipping it to grab his wallet, "i think a small note might be cute-"
"oh, that reminds me!" seokjin stops in his tracks right as he's about to lift the wooden slab to get behind the counter, "would you be interested in purchasing a teddy bear as well? if you add a teddy bear to your order, i'll give you a slight discount on the flowers."
"ooh, a discount!" jungkook gasps and you turn your head slightly so seokjin won't see you rolling your eyes at how much he's forcing jungkook to buy
you respect the hustle but this is too much
"where are the teddy bears?"
"right by the flowers!" seokjin smiles, wrapping an arm around jungkook's shoulders and spinning him around, "we can round back and take a look-"
"okay, i think i have to cut in here-" you chuckle, reaching out and grabbing the back of jungkook's elbow, "you don't- you don't think a bouquet of flowers and a teddy bear is a little too much for a first date?" you clear your throat quietly before offering a shrug, "i feel like that's just... a lot, kook. i mean, i would be overwhelmed if-"
"well, i guess it's a good thing i'm not taking you out on a date then, right?" jungkook teases, wiggling his arm out of your grip before turning back to look at seokjin, "onward to the bears, my good man!"
ouch
"yeah." you can't help but frown as jungkook and seokjin head back towards the flowers, "thanks for the reminder."
"that's gotta hurt."
"god-" you jump at the sudden appearance of an employee standing behind the counter and you place a hand over your chest before letting out a breath, "you scared me!"
"sorry." he shrugs, "we polished the floors this morning so my shoes are making, like, no noise."
"oh."
a moment of silence passes while you turn to face away from him again, but all of a sudden-
"so he really can't tell that you like him, huh?"
"you-" you immediately straighten up and your head spins around so fast that you're surprised you didn't complete decapitate yourself, "excuse me??"
"what? it's obvious." the employee snorts, spraying cleaner onto the counter before reaching up to yank the tattered rag off his shoulder, "it's painfully obvious, actually-"
you can feel your entire face starting to go red as this complete stranger continues to rip you a new one and you hold a hand out to shut him up, "no offense, but i-i don't think this is any of your business, sir-"
"it's yoongi." yoongi looks down at his apron for a second before frowning, "huh. i forgot to put my dumb name tag on again-"
"well, yoongi-" you place emphasis on his name in an effort to intimidate him and make him go away, "you don't know what you're talking about and i suggest you mind your own business-"
"you should tell him before it's too late." yoongi doesn't seem to be all that affected by your biting tone and you roll your eyes at the way he rounds back to the topic
"what are you even talking about?"
"well, i assume you're going to be his best man at his wedding. from the way it's looking, you're certainly not going to be the bride," yoongi purses his lips as he folds up the rag into a neat little square, "you don't wanna wait until you're fixing his tie at the wedding to tell him that you love him."
"what makes you think i lo-" you cut yourself off quickly before that word slips out of your mouth, "like him?"
"if you didn't, you wouldn't be here right now." yoongi points out with a tilt of his head, "and from how smudgy your eyeliner is, it looks like you've been working hard all day."
your jaw drops slightly and you can't help but scoff
the nerve of this guy!
"who do you think you are?!"
"i'm yoongi." yoongi raises a brow, "i told you that like a second ago- wow, you are not a good listener-"
"do you usually do this with all of the customers who come here?" you interrupt, crossing your arms defensively before leaning in slightly, "you're awfully nosy-"
"i only do this with the ones that seem to have something juicy going on." yoongi hums, leaning down to put the spray bottle of cleaner under the counter, "this is a flower shop. the most exciting part of my day is watching a bumblebee choose which flower to land on."
"well, nothing juicy is going on here so-" you twist back around before sticking your nose up in the air slightly, "sorry to disappoint."
"alright, fair enough." yoongi nods to himself, letting out a sigh as he slowly backs away from the counter, "i guess i'll just leave you to... wallow in self-pity... and continue staring at your friend with cartoon hearts floating around your head-"
"'you should tell him before it's too late-'" you swivel around and slap both your palms down on the counter, "why would you- why would even say something like that?! i can't tell him. are you insane?!"
a smirk twitches at the corner of yoongi's mouth at your sudden confession and he lets out a sigh before stepping back up towards you, "and why can't you tell him?"
"because- i just can't! he's-" you clear your throat before leaning in and lowering your voice, "he's literally taking someone else out on a date- we're here to buy flowers for his date-"
"so what?" yoongi interrupts, "it's just a date. it's not like you're stopping his wedding."
"so what? because he doesn't like me back, so what's the point?" you hiss, resisting the urge to reach over and smack some common sense into this very nosy and very stubborn stranger, "this isn't a romantic comedy- and even if it was, i'm very obviously not the main character-"
"you don't know that he doesn't like you back."
...
well now he's just toying with you
"i... i can't tell if you're kidding or not-"
"do i look like i'm kidding?" yoongi asks, pointing to his poker face before shaking his head, "you don't know that he doesn't like you back. you've obviously never asked him."
"oh, please." you scoff, turning around to lean back against the counter again, "trust me, i know it."
"well, did he ever explicitly say that he didn't like you?" yoongi leans over to peek at jungkook over your shoulder, "do you have a definitive answer to this particular question?"
"no, but he doesn't have to... we're just friends." you frown, your eyes wandering over to the back of jungkook's head, "he doesn't like me. i know he doesn't. we're just friends."
we're just friends.
(saying it out loud is a lot more depressing than you thought it'd be.)
"well, maybe the reason why you're just friends is because the two of you won't allow yourselves to be more than that," yoongi suggests, your head tilting to the side slightly as you force yourself to consider his surprisingly wise words, "it's obvious that you have a solid friendship so it would suck if a relationship ruined that- so maybe he does like you and is only asking someone else out to try to force himself not to like you..."
you feel your heart skip a beat when jungkook turns to glance at you over his shoulder with a soft smile while seokjin continues rattling off about the vast choice of teddy bears available for purchase
you bite back a giggle when he mouths a desperate 'help' at you before raising his hand and twirling his finger next to his head to tell you that seokjin is fully crazy
"...so i guess what i'm trying to say is that you're never really going to know how he feels about you if you don't ask him," you tune back in to the end of yoongi's little speech and you turn your head slightly to glance back at him, "but what do i know, right? i just polish counters at high-end flower shops."
🎙️tell jungkook he's being an idiot or tell y/n to get a backbone (send in an ask!)
✨why don’t you explore the rest of the library while you’re here? (full fics!)
💫or perhaps you want something shorter to read? (drabbles and mini series like smitten!)
🌟or something even shorter? (teeny tidbits!)
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ptergwen · 3 years
Text
smoke and mirrors
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⇢ richkid!tom x richkid!reader ⇠
w/c: 4.1k
warnings: swearing, drinking, light angst, and implied smut
summary: because of your mother’s insistence on a pristine family image and tom’s messy one, you deny your true feelings for him
a/n: ok ok ok the pics of tom in monaco really made me think and i had to get everything out of my system so here we are! thank you and enjoy x
-
your living room is engulfed by a hushed chatter that comes from far too many guests. half the people, you hardly know. it’s overcrowded, superficial, and the last place you want to be. it’s one of your mother’s get-togethers, as she likes to call them. these things are always far from the casual affairs they sound like.
weeks go into planning, caterers and decorators making themselves at home in yours. the family’s image is everything to your mom, so being a good hostess is her top priority. ironically, she’s more concerned with throwing her gatherings than raising you. so much for family, huh?
the only reason you agreed to make an appearance tonight is that tom might do the same. he’s a really good friend, someone you’ve been able to count on through all the mess that is your lives. you met in high school, when he moved from london to the states. his dad was offered a job promotion he couldn’t pass up. plus, tom and his brothers would be receiving a stellar private education here in america.
it was a win for everyone, especially you. the freckle faced boy who got lost on his way to english class became your closest confidant. tom’s company is such a sweet escape. he’s not interested in opera or the stock market like most people you meet are. he sneaks you out to go on walks at dawn and does shots with you until you can’t stand straight.
as you two continue to grow together, revelations about yourselves have come to light. what you want beyond your inheritances, who you want beyond friendship. you figured out the second part on a faithful night recently. tom showed up to your place with a bottle of tequila. after you drank it down through lots of lime chasers and giggles, he kissed you. you didn’t kiss back.
your heart said to go for it, but your mind pulled you back in. you were so shocked and overcome with new feelings, you froze up. that, and you’d infuriate your mother. although she cares about tom a great deal, she loathes his public figure. he’s always getting papped in places and with people he shouldn’t be. the two of you together would just destroy her.
you still want to please your mom at the end of the day, no matter how deep under your skin she gets.
tom immediately apologized and tried play it off as him being drunk. you grew up with him, became part of each other’s families, which means you know him well enough to know he was lying. he meant every second his lips were on yours.
what you need to do now is something you’ve meant to for a while. the only problem is that you’re stuck at your mother’s party, and tom hasn’t shown up yet.
“y/n, darling,” your mom calls for your attention. she’s dragged you into a conversation with some bloggers, but you haven’t spoken a word. “why don’t you tell us about your trip to spain last summer?” she plasters on her award winning grin and squeezes your shoulder. it’s time to play along.
“oh, it was beautiful,” you halfheartedly reply, more to the bloggers than her. they nod in clear interest. one jots down notes. “we went for a few weeks and visited a bunch of different cities. i’d love to go back sometime.” the typical press formatted answer earns your mom’s approval. you’re off the hook. your eyes start to wander around the room, hoping to set on tom.
“we?” the woman taking notes asks. must everyone pry? “my friend and i,” you shortly reply. you’re standing up on your tiptoes to see over the crowd. you’d think six inch heels would do the trick. “i’m actually looking for him right now, so if you’ll excuse me,” you offer a polite smile and silently pray they won’t ask who. unfortunately, your wishes don’t come true.
the other blogger, a short and stubborn man, speaks up. “just a friend you say? come on, tell us. who’s the lucky fella?” he inquires. your mother raises a firm eyebrow, signaling for you not to.
tom has a reputation for his reckless behavior. it’s your mom’s worst nightmare when the media associates your names under most circumstances. you’re representing her, so she does whatever she can to control how you’re seen. you’re constantly in the papers, being a young socialite and all. it sucks.
“he’d like to stay out of the tabloids, sorry,” you cover for tom, on your mom’s behalf. “i should really go. it was nice meeting you.” the bloggers don’t bother to hide their disappointment as you shake their hands. your mother rubs your back in approval. “thank you for doing that. we’ll talk later,” she speaks lowly. “bye, mom!” you practically make a run for it. 
weaving through the sea of people, you end up by the main entrance. it’s hard not to get lost even though it’s your house. the place is packed with girls just a couple years older than you, wearing pearls around their necks. men’s strong colognes flow through the air. you’re in a form fitting red slip dress and louboutins yourself.
smoke and mirrors is what they call it. you show the pretty parts to distract from your ugly ones.
harrison suddenly comes waltzing in with a lady on either of his arms. you’d expect nothing less. he’s tom’s best friend besides you, considering the failed kiss attempt didn’t change that. their parents worked at the london branch of the same company. they each came to the states and met you. you happily introduced them to your world, helping to make it theirs as well.
“haz!” you meet him at the front door. he’s smirking while he leads the women inside. “fancy seeing you here, isn’t it?” he jokes. “very funny. i died laughing,” you deadpan, curiously eyeing harrison’s plus two. they merely giggle. “listen, have you seen tom anywhere? if he’s coming.” you’re fighting back a frown. “why wouldn’t he be?” harrison questions in a more serious tone this time.
“long story. you have guests to entertain, so i won’t get into it now,” you decide and manage a small smile instead. he perks up. “right. i’ll let you know if i see him?” nodding, you give him a wave goodbye. “enjoy yourself.” “you too, love. cheers!” the girls lean into him, harrison wiggling his eyebrows at you. he’s ridiculous.
hours pass by without word of tom. it isn’t like him to miss an event, especially if you’re in attendance. you despise these exhausting nights, and he’s supposed to be your rock during them. he should have his arm draped around your shoulders, whispering silly remarks to you while you hide out somewhere. you miss him more than you thought possible.
you’re just about to give up when you spot nikki ushering her husband inside. behind them follows tom, clad in a grey checkered suit with his locks perfectly tousled. he’s here. you waited the whole night, and he finally came.
tom kisses his mom on the cheek before strutting over to the drink table, not without a few reporters hassling him. they’re probably looking for another holland scandal to break. he declines their requests for comments on this and opinions on that, instead pulling up a chair next to harrison. the two exchange hugs and fix themselves glasses of champagne, you watching their encounter.
harrison fills tom in on the drama he’s missed tonight while they sip their drinks. tom keeps forcing smiles that don’t reach his eyes. he’s fiddling with his fingers, leg bouncing up and down steadily. those are the telltale signs he needs saving. however awkward it may be, you’re going to have to break your silence. it was bound to happen eventually.
“mate, i’m telling you. she fit her entire first right up her-“ “boys,” you cut into harrison’s story, greeting him and tom. his face tints deep pink upon your arrival. “don’t let me stop you. finish your charming anecdote,” you encourage him and subtly glance over at tom. he’s biting back a grin as he sets his elbows on the table.
“not with a lady present. let’s just… pretend you didn’t hear that,” harrison chuckles nervously and hops to his feet. “i’m gonna leave you two to chat.” humming, you move to take his chair. tom sucks in a breath. “what happened to the girls you brought?” you wonder. “they left. said they got bored,” harrison admits, tom stifling laughter. he elbows his friend for that.
“oh, fuck off. i’ll see you later,” he mopes, flicking your arm for good measure. tom salutes him and grabs his nearly empty champagne. “so long, bruv.”
it’s just you and tom now, seated side by side, silently so. he has no intentions of speaking first. he’s too embarrassed, and you don’t blame him. this is on you. you clear your throat before starting the conversation.
“can i top you off?” you tap the bottom of his glass with a tiny smile. tom shakes his head. “i’m alright, thanks.” he finishes the last sip and sets it down, turning to face you. your smile has vanished. “wasn’t sure you were gonna make it. i’m glad you did,” you change the subject. as if he’s considering the sincerity behind your words, tom furrows his eyebrows.
“mum wanted us to. she dragged me and dad straight off the golf course,” he explains and clasps his hands in his lap. his fingers interlock with each other. you fight off the urge to replace them with yours. “we would’ve been here sooner, but the paps are camped outside.” the hint of a smile forms on his lips, at last. “guess it’s not often you get the town’s finest under one roof.”
“you think i’m one of the town’s finest?” you tease, resting your chin in your palm. something flashes behind tom’s eyes. he looks right into yours, scooting closer. “absolutely. you’re the most eligible bachelorette in this whole building.” you allow a toothy grin to spread across your face. “tommy, stop it. you’re too nice to me.”
the nickname is music to his ears. tom looks you up and down, licking his lips simultaneously. “no, seriously. you look gorgeous,” he muses, you pushing at his chest. he exhales a breathy laugh, and you giggle yourself. “red’s definitely your color.” “reverse card. you wear it way better than i do,” you insist. your fingers tug at the collar of his suit. “too bad you didn’t match me.”
you’re relieved you two can talk like you usually do, light flirting and good vibes. it might not be so hard to put the kiss behind you. well, you can’t go on pretending it didn’t happen. you have to at least discuss the fiasco. tom should know why you didn’t reciprocate, then you can take it from there. whether he still has feelings for you, assuming he ever did, will depend on how that turns out.
“not to ruin the fun, but we still have to talk,” you murmur, tom’s body stiffening across from yours. he’s not sure he’s ready to discuss that. “can it wait? we’re at a party,” tom reminds you, running a hand through his styled locks. “yeah, my mother’s. don’t tell me you’re having a good time,” you playfully chastise him. he simply shrugs. “hardly. you’re the best part.”
you ignore the butterflies roaming about your body.
“you won’t mind a quick convo, then. it is with me,” you attempt to persuade him and place a hand on his knee. tom coughs a bit too loudly, the contact surprising him. “you know what? i think i’ll take you up on that drink first,” he decides with a mustered up smile. “coming right up.” you pat his leg before taking his glass. he chews on his lower lip while you poor the bubbling liquid. that was certainly… odd.
you slide tom his champagne back with an exaggerated wink. tom scoffs at this. “mm, thanks. care to join me?” he brings the alcohol to his lips, eyes never leaving yours. your mother specifically said no drinking tonight, since the press would be here. screw your mother, though. “please. could you hand me a glass?” you eagerly grab the champagne bottle. tom searches for an empty cup next to him.
you two are unspoken drinking buddies at this point.
“here you are, darling,” tom drawls, holding out the glass for you. every time he calls you that, you completely melt. “thanks, tommy,” you purr in response. you’re finally pouring your own drink when someone taps you on the shoulder, and hard. you look behind you to find your mother standing with her hands on her hips, less than thrilled. speak of the devil.
“hello, mother. can i help you?” you make sure to ask rudely. she responds with a smile that’s obviously fake. if tom weren’t here, you’d be getting scolded. “yes, my darling. those bloggers from earlier were hoping you’d finish your interview.” your mom shakes your shoulder in a motherly way. you squint up at her. “didn’t they leave hours ago-“ “they’re back,” she sharply informs you.
she’s lying, and you have a hunch as to why.
frowning, you hold tom’s hand in both of yours. “sorry, this won’t take long. why don’t you go find tuwaine?” you suggest instead. “he’s around here somewhere.” tom gives you an understanding nod and laces your fingers together, even if it’s only for a moment. “must be chatting up some producers or whatnot. i’ll see if i can help.” he’s such an incredible friend to everyone. he deserves the same from you.
“thomas, so lovely to see you,” your mom interrupts. tom stands up, kissing both her cheeks out of courtesy. “you, too. what a wonderful party. thank you for having us.” despite what the rest of the world believes, his manners are impeccable. “of course. give nikki my best, will you?” your mom puts her hands on his shoulders. he grins at her. “definitely. take care, mrs. y/l/n.” “always a pleasure,” she states, nudging you to come along with her.
you shoot tom one last apologetic look as your mother pulls you along and towards the crowd.
tom is no idiot. he’s well aware how she really feels about him.
when a swarm of guests is surrounding you, your mom lets go. you scowl, crossing your arms over your chest. “why would you do that? i haven’t seen tom in days.” she sighs without a care. “isn’t it time you branch out? expand your social circle?” her manicured fingers ruffle your hair. you push away her touch. “i’m social enough. we were in the middle of something really important.”
you begin to walk away, but your mother takes your arm. “whatever you’re about to do, it’s a mistake. he’ll make a fool of you,” she practically spits. yanking your arm from her grasp, you laugh bitterly. “of me, or of the family name? look around, mom.” you gesture to the spot beside her where your dad should be. “as far as i’m concerned, i have no family except tom. i’m gonna go check on him.”
you’re gone before your mom can stop you. she simply stands there, utterly mortified by what you said.
you run around the house to find tom, stumbling in your heels and not giving a fuck. you’d truly meant the part about him being your family. all the holland’s, honestly. they’re the most genuine and caring souls, and you don’t want to lose the one you’re closest to because of your mother’s delusions. 
tom is in a circle with harrison and tuwaine, the three of them chuckling amongst themselves. you’d hate to bug him, but this can’t wait anymore.
“uh, tom?” you mumble his name, appearing behind him. he steps away with another quiet laugh. “hey, y/n/n. that was quick, hm?” your face gives away your distress. his whole demeanor shifting, tom reaches for your hands. “what is it, love? is something the matter?” “just… come with me,” you croak out.
you manage to smile at harrison and tuwaine, dropping one of tom’s hands so you can lead him upstairs. they each return the smile and share curious looks.
following behind you, tom keeps your hand tight in his own. he’d thought you were going to grill him about the kiss that barely happened. it seems like this is a much more pressing matter. his outburst of emotions can be discussed another time. now, it’s time to deal with yours.
you drag tom into the first room on the second floor, which is your dad’s study. he’s away on business this weekend, so he luckily couldn’t make the party. tom sits down in the office chair. you sit up on the desk, in front of him. your lip quivers the second his worried features come into view.
“y/n/n, what’s going on? why are we in here?” tom wonders, his tone soft. your heart clenches. “i- i wanted us to have some privacy when i told you this,” you sniffle out and blink back the tears forming. you’re sort of shaken from the conversation with your mother, and mostly because you have no idea how tom will react to your confession.
his hands come to stay on your thighs, right below your dress. they feel warm against your bare skin.
“tell me what? i’m listening, yeah?” tom gazes up at you with so much love. “lay it all out for me.” god, he’s fucking amazing. if only you knew where to start. “do you, um…” you trail off, letting your tears subside and words settle. “do you remember when your family made your big debut in town?”
a grin replaces tom’s frown, painting his beautiful face. “how could i forget? you made it quite memorable.” he traces circles on your thigh and elicits a giggle from you. “i spilled a whole thing of soda on your white fucking button down,” you recount with a lighthearted sigh. “right before your dad was supposed to introduce you to everyone, too.”
tom presses his tongue into his cheek to hold back another grin. “took ages to get it out. dad went mad when i didn’t show.” he cocks his head to the side, you leaning back on your hands. “you held me hostage in the laundry room so you could do that bloody stain stick.” your mouth drops open in mock offense. “i had to clean up my mess! i wasn’t gonna let the world meet you covered in pepsi.”
that was one of your earliest memories together. the holland’s threw a party and invited everyone who was willing to attend. they had been hoping to properly introduce themselves to the town, and this was their way of doing so. although yours and tom’s friendship was fairly new, you spent all night together because you had experience with such events.
tom’s dad was making a speech to thank the guests for coming. you and him listened from the snack table, until his name was called. he rushed to go up there while you were pouring yourself a drink. he’d bumped into you, and the bottle ended up all over him. you snuck tom right off to his laundry room.
you’d felt terrible as he stood there shirtless and blushing, you aggressively swiping his button down with a stain stick.
“why do you bring that up?” tom questions and continues circling your skin. you purse your lips. “i dunno. it was the last party i actually enjoyed,” you admit, putting your hand over his that rests on your thigh. “like to reminisce when i’m suffering through one of my mother’s.” his eyes shift to where your hands are laced. “i see,” he affirms. “so, is that… all you wanted to talk about?” “not even close,” you laugh out.
a burst of courage coursing through your body, you say it. “when you kissed me the other night-“ “i won’t do it again,” tom cuts in, trying to avoid the rejection he thinks you’ll give him. “it was a mistake, and i’m so sorry. our friendship is more important than my feelings.” you seem excited to hear that, though it’s not for the reason tom expects. “you do have feelings for me?”
he’d forgotten about his i was drunk excuse.
“um, yeah. i do,” he admits, cheeks rosy and lip caught in his teeth. “but, i’ll learn to put them aside, if that’s what’s best.” “no, no. it isn’t,” you dismiss him and put your free hand on his chest. “i love you, tom. that’s what i was really trying to tell you.” your words bring an instant grin to his face. he chuckles in disbelief, standing from the chair.
“fuck, thank god. that’s all i’ve ever wanted to hear.” he’s between your legs now, his hands moving up to your hips. you’re beaming at him as your arms snake around his neck. a burning question comes to tom’s mind. “hang on. why didn’t you kiss me back, then?” he almost whispers, thumb brushing over your hipbone. “this is gonna sound weird, but… my mom,” you reluctantly let out.
“you’re gonna have to elaborate,” tom prompts you and raises an eyebrow. you can’t hold back your eye roll. “she’s never been a fan of the person you are in the media.” his lips form a line. “i gathered.” your fingers tangle in his curls at the nape of his neck reassuringly. “i was subconsciously scared i would be letting her down in some way, if we were together.”
tom allows your hands to work their way up to his scalp. he exhales contentedly as you play with his ever so soft hair. “i understand, she’s intimidating. what’s changed that brilliant mind of yours about coming clean?” your nose scrunches up when he pokes one of your temples. “oh, yeah. i yelled at her earlier ‘cuz she stole me away from you.” his face lights up. “sexy.” “shut up,” you groan. “someone had to tell her off.”
“good thing it got to be you,” tom agrees with a squeeze at your hip. “‘m proud of you, y/n/n. it’s not easy, standing up to mummy dearest.” you tug on his hair. “like you’d know. nikki is a saint.” “that’s what she’ll have you believe,” he says under his breath, you gasping. his lips turn up in a smirk. “on that note… i love you, too.”
“would’ve been embarrassing if you didn’t say it back,” you acknowledge with a cheesy smile. tom dips his head down to rest his forehead against yours. “yeah, yeah. save the attitude for your mum.” your legs easily wrap around his waist, tom’s breath hot as it hits your face. “let’s give that kiss another go,” you mewl. he doesn’t hesitate to reply. “with pleasure.”
tom’s lips land on yours, you kissing back right away. he smiles into it as your lips gently move together. “about fucking time,” he grumbles, your hands situating in his chocolate curls once again. he’s savoring every second you touch him, kiss him, love him. the taste of your mouth is one he’s craved for longer than you could imagine.
it doesn’t take long for things to heat up, you messing with tom’s hair and tom rubbing your hips. you lay back on the desk as his tongue enters your mouth. holding you by your waist, tom hovers over you. his tongue tangles with yours in a deep kiss. between that and his fingers beginning to massage your thigh, you’re done for. you’re ready to take this a step further by the time he’s kissing down your neck.
“tommy?” you grab onto his shoulders, your head back. his lips detach from your skin with a grin. “yeah, love? ‘s everything okay?” he coos, pressing a final kiss to your collarbone. “more than.” you tilt his chin up to peck his lips. “you wouldn’t happen to have a condom, would you? just thinking ahead.” he laughs breathlessly, reaching into his suit pocket.
“conveniently enough, i do. not sure your dad would like me fucking you on his desk, though.” tom sets his hand on your leg that’s still hooked around his waist. “my room’s always available. carry me?” you make grabby hands and bat your lashes. he hoists you up by your waist, not lifting you just yet. “that would break the news of us, no? your mum’s gonna go apeshit.” he keeps his arms around you, chuckling.
“let her. besides, i know a couple of bloggers that would love to announce our status update.” you peck tom’s lips, grinning as you do. you’re suddenly in the air and being picked up by tom. the surprise of it makes you squeal, clutching onto his broad shoulders instinctively. he gives you the look of adoration that’s reserved for you only.
“we’ll go pop a few bottles with everyone, then we’re celebrating on our own.”
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baroquebucky · 3 years
Text
grasp
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soulmate au where when you touch your soulmate you see glimpses of your future with them; the winter soldier touches you and realizes there’s so much more out there
series masterlist // previous // next
part four
word count: 4.5k (worth it omg)
masterlist
a/n: hi bffs !! hope u all enjoy this chapter i am v proud of it :] let me know what u guys think i love reading ur feedback and talking w you guys !! (srry for any typos :P)
You were giddy with excitement, texting steve that you were ready to be picked up when he was ready. Your hands fiddled with buckys dog tags, a smile on your face while you waited on the couch for Steve.
It had become routine for you to join steve on his visits to wakanda to visit bucky. T’challa had been kind enough to allow you to tag along, saying soulmates should never have to deal with all the two of you had gone through.
You phone buzzed with a message from steve letting you know he was on his way. The excitement in your chest grew, having so many stories to tell bucky.
The drive and the flight felt long despite you sleeping through most of it. Finally stepping out into the fresh air and greeting the royal family, making small talk with shuri as t’challa and steve walked towards where bucky was staying.
“i should get going, I’ll be sure to meet up with you tomorrow so we can talk about it!” you smiled brightly at the girl and she nodded, waving you off.
Shuri had been kind enough to tell you about the designs for Bucky’s new vibranium arm, she had asked for you opinions and what you thought he would prefer. It warmed your heart and had brought the two of you closer together.
Bucky knew you would be coming, he made sure his long hair was tied neatly, his heart racing as he heard steve approaching. He smiled, taking in a deep breath and checking himself out in the mirror one more time.
Steve knocked on the side of the hut twice, a smile on his face as he waited for his best friend to move aside the bright curtains. Bucky opened them with a smile, saying hello and pulling steve in for a hug.
“you know you can just let yourself in right?” Bucky joked, “wheres y/n?” he asked as soon as they pulled apart. Steve rolled his eyes, a playful smile on his face.
“don’t even care about your best friend anymore?” Steve joked and bucky frowned, “kidding, kidding, she was talking with shuri about something, should be here in a bit” he smiled at his friend a bucky nodded, moving so he could enter his little home.
You walked quickly, excited to finally be with bucky after two long months. You couldn’t stop the excitement that grew in your chest, heart racing as you got closer to him.
Finally you reached the hut, knocking three times before stepping away slightly, focusing your sight on the goats next to the huts. The sound of the curtains moving brought you attention back, making you turn your head back.
Bucky smiled at you, before he could say anything you threw yourself into his chest, wrapping your arms around his waist.
“well hello to you too doll” he joked and you giggled, not bothering to let go of him. As you pulled away you beamed up at bucky, saying a breathless ‘hi’ before he smiled back at you, a charming smile on his face as he kissed your cheek.
The two of you walked in, hands intertwined as you joined steve the three of you falling into easy conversation, talking of your recent missions and adventures.
“no, yeah steve got his ass handed to him” you laughed, the blonde rolling his eyes and mouthing a ‘no,’ bucky rolled his eyes at his friend, knowing he probably did.
“so you took down how many people?” Bucky asked you, a proud smile on your face as you replied.
“eight guys” you boasted, “didn’t even break a sweat” you smirked. Steve and bucky looked at each other before laughing, bucky pulling you into his side, kissing the top of your head.
“you didn’t even leave your bed the next day from how sore you were!” Steve teased and you frowned, moving to punch him.
Bucky wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you into his lap. You landed with a huff and Steve grinned at you.
“you never get sore it’s not fair” you shot back, bucky resting his head on your shoulder.
Steve shrugged his shoulders, the three of you continuing to bicker and laugh until the sunset. You were leaning on Buckys chest, his arm wrapped around you as you rested your eyes. Steve and bucky reminisced on some fight they had in the 40s laughing at how minuscule the problem now seemed.
“I’ll leave you two for the night, it was good seeing you buck” Steve smiled, the three of you getting up from your spots.
“it was good seeing you too steve, glad to know you can still hold your own” he joked and Steve laughed, the two men hugging tightly before letting go. Steve turned to you, a smile on his face before moving towards the door.
“I’ll come get you in the morning” he called out, letting the curtains fall behind him.
Bucky let out a small sigh of relief and you looked at him, shocked at his action.
“i know you didn’t just let out a sigh of relief because he left!” You gasped and bucky blushed, turning to you before crashing his lips onto yours.
You melted into the kiss, letting yourselves get lost in the other. Your hands played with his hair, it was longer than last time. The two of you pulled away breathless, hearts racing.
“cant do that when he’s around darling” Bucky smirked, leaning in to kiss you quickly a couple more times, soft giggles leaving your lips as he beard tickled your face.
“still rude” you teased, placing soft kisses on his face as the two of you sat down, cuddled up as close as possible.
Bucky chuckled, looking at you with starry eyes and a bright smile. He swore you had never looked so pretty, sitting there with the moonlight peeking in and lightning up the small hut.
“stating is rude you know” bucky rolled his eyes, leaning in to kiss you, smiling into the kiss when you pulled him in for another.
“missed you so much doll” he mumbled, your foreheads pressed against one another, eyes closed for a second before pulling away.
“not a day goes by where i don’t think of you James” you sighed, heart sinking as you realized you would be leaving him once more in the morning.
Bucky noticed the shift in your attitude, placing his fingers under you chin and moving you to look at him.
“i promise you,” he mumbled, placing a kiss on your forehead, “once I’m free from all the shit HYDRA did to me, were gonna be together” he smiled at you softly.
“just wish it could come faster” you frowned and bucky nodded, a small smile on his face as he placed another kiss on your forehead.
“we have forever to be happy baby” he spoke, turning to you, “right?” you smiled, heart fluttering at his words.
“I’m yours forever lovebug” you assured him, moving to kiss his cheek.
“and I’m yours forever dollface” he smiled, heart racing the thought of a forever with you. Bucky wished he could fast forward and just be happy with you. But he knew he had to get through this, he just had to fight this final battle and he could be free.
Just one more fight and he could be happy, with you.
Morning came far too soon for either of your liking, waking up to the sun shining in your eyes. Your legs tangled with Buckys and his arm wrapped securely around your waist, holding you tightly.
“buck” you grumbled, wiggling to try and get out of his grip. You gave up when he never budged, waiting a couple minutes before trying again. “James” you called out, he moved a little, eyes fluttering open and landing on you with a smile.
“mornin doll” he mumbled, voice raspy and deep from sleep. He loosened his grip and let you wiggle out, stretching and letting out a yawn.
“goodmorning” you smiled sweetly, grabbing a couple things before getting ready. Bucky laid on his side, a sleepy smile on his face while he watched you get ready for the day, heart sinking a bit when he realized you would be leaving today.
“wish you could stay longer” he mumbled, his words weighed on your shoulders, causing you to slump a little and frown. You turned to look at him after you had finished getting ready, giving him a soft smile before sitting across from him.
“i do too angel, but you know how things are” he sighed softly, getting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
“we still have at least two hours before steve comes, get up so we can enjoy the time we’ve got” you beamed, a bright smile on his face. Bucky admired that about you, how optimistic you were even in such an unfortunate situation.
Deep down you were upset, you were hurting and you were angry that the two of you had to go through so much to be happy. You shoved away those emotions, choosing instead to focus on what little time you had with him.
Bucky got ready quickly, giddy to get the day started. You helped him feed the goats, giggling as their fuzzy lips tickled your hand when you fed them.
“i named this one butter” he smiled, pointing a light colored sheep, “he’s kinda chubby” you teased and he gasped, a hurt expression on his face.
“i cant believe you come here and insult my goats, i raised them! they’re my children!” He teased and you rolled your eyes, walking towards him with your arms extended, he huffed, turning away from you. Laughing when he so easily melted into you after wrapping your arms around his waist, your head resting on his back.
“sorry for bullying butter, i am once again asking for forgiveness” you teased and he let out a low hum, you rolled your eyes. “I promise to not insult your goats-” Bucky turned around, brows furrowed and you groaned.
“i promise to not insult your kids, and i will give you all the kisses you want” you finished, arms crossed and bucky looked at you with a boyish smile, leaning down to kiss you.
It was quick, but it was sweet and made you swoon, smiling as he continued to pepper kisses all over your face. You yelped as one of his goats rammed his head into buckys leg.
“seems like someone wants your attention” you teased and he smiled, continuing to place the hay out along with a couple other things for them to eat.
The two of you were sitting along the bank of the river, sharing stories of what you had missed between your last visit.
“y/n!” Steve called out and your heart fell, a tight smile on your face when you saw the way Bucky’s expression fell. You squeezed his hand, kissing his temple before standing up, pulling bucky up with you as you walked back towards the hut, grabbing the backpack you had brought.
The two men talked for a bit while you gathered everything, double checking that you didn’t forget anything. You smiled as you rummaged through your backpack, holding the stack of letters you had written for bucky from the past two months.
You handed them bucky with a smile, apologizing for your handwriting in some of them.
“i already put yours in your bag doll, my handwriting is amazing” he teased and you punched him lightly.
The goodbyes always hurt, the way your heart tugged in your chest, like it was telling you to stay, that you were meant to be together.
You always ignored it, letting it only resurface at 3 am when your heart hurt and you longed for your soulmate.
Just this last fight, he just had to be truly free from HYDRA and you could be happy.
“don’t worry lovebug, I’ll see you soon” you comforted him, holding him tightly before letting go.
“see you soon” Bucky smiled, his heart sinking as you and Steve walked away, laughing when you turned around and waved at him, a bright smile on his face.
Before leaving you met with shuri, offering a couple more inputs on Buckys new arm before saying goodbye to her, she gave you a tight hug before letting you go.
You did see them soon. Although the circumstances were different. It wasn’t a ‘yay i get to see my soulmate and my friends and have a good time!’ visit.
It was more of a ‘oh god this purple guy wants some crazy crystals and is gonna kill half the universe with them please help’ kind of visit.
The plane landed and you greeted the royal family as usual, nervous as you followed shuri to her lab. Everything was moving so fast and your heart was in a frenzy. You had arrived earlier than the others, shuri sending a jet for you so you could be there when bucky got the arm.
You gasped as you saw the final product, a smile on your face as your fingers ghosted over the black and gold arm.
“shuri this is incredible!” You praised and she smirked, shrugging her shoulders.
“it’s what i do” she replied, closing the box before calling T’challa over so you could go give the arm to bucky.
“we think you should give it to him, explain to him what’s going on and all that” shuri spoke, T’challa and okoye nodding at her words.
“but-” okoye cut you off, her words gentle.
“it’s whats best for him” she assured you and you nodded, taking a deep breath as you waved goodbye to shuri.
T’challa and okoye accompanied you, a soft smile on your face as you saw him throwing the hay bales for his goats. Your smile grew when you noticed he had since gained two new friends, two cows laying down and one standing close to him.
“good to know you made new friends while i was gone” you called out, smiling as bucky looked at you with wide eyes. A smile on his face as you walked closer to him.
“doll!” He grinned, walking over to hug you as T’challa set the box down on a bale of hay. “what’s happening what’s going on? It hasn’t even been two weeks since last time” he questioned, looking at the two behind you.
“not that I’m not happy to see you but” he cut himself off, noting the fact you were suited up for a fight. You interlaced your fingers and sighed softly.
“c’mere” you spoke softly, pulling him along to the box. You have him a soft smile, letting go of his hand and opening the box.
He finally looked into the box, the shiny new vibranium arm gleaming in the sunlight. His heart fell. That’s why your heart was in frenzy, that’s why okoye and T’challa were so tense.
“wheres the fight” he spoke quietly, eyes not leaving the metal arm.
“on the way” T’challa spoke and he nodded. Okoye and T’challa left the two of you alone after explaining to bucky how to put the arm on.
You were silent, petting the goat you recognized as butter while bucky put the new arm on, changing into his suit while he was at it. Your heart ached.
One more fight, you had told yourselves for the last two years. Just one more fight and you could be together and be happy.
But the universe was cruel and decided to make the two of you wait longer, to put yet another barrier between the two of you and happiness.
it’s okay, after this fight everything will be okay
The words rang in your mind, letting out a shaky sigh. How bad could this fight be? It’s not like you hadn’t fought countless other villains before.
Bucky walked out suited and ready to go, though he was reluctant he knew it’s what had to be done. You gave him a small smile, shamelessly checking him out, not bothering to hide the smirk on your face.
“you know, under any other circumstances i would definitely not let you leave that hut” you teased and he blushed.
“I’ve only seen you suited up a couple times doll and it makes my heart face everytime” he shot back and you rolled your eyes, thinking back to when you and steve visited him immediately after a couple of missions.
The two of you walked hand in hand, getting a feel for his new arm as you made it to the plane, greeting steve with a smile and reluctantly saying hello to Sam.
You stood with bucky and Sam as you saw wakandas defenses go up, your mouth opened in awe as you watched it.
Not long after you saw something hitting it, breaking apart as it made contact and you and Sam flinched a bit.
“god i love this place” bucky spoke, watching alongside you and Sam. You heard Rhodey speak up not moments after.
“don’t start celebrating yet, we got more incoming outside the dome!” He called out, your eyes wide and you saw multiple things falling, planting themselves into the ground.
You let out a shaky breath, bucky bls your hand for a moment, squeezing it and kissing your temple.
“one more” he whispered and you smiled, nodding your head. “one more,” you repeated, hope blossoming in your chest.
You stood alongside bucky, looking back in awe as you saw all the hundreds of people, all ready to fight. Your stomach was in knots, your hands were shaky and you looked at bucky.
A small smile made its way onto your face. You would be okay.
“they surrender?” Bucky asked as steve, natasha and t’chalks returned.
“not exactly” steve sighed, you watched wide wide eyes as you all hundreds- maybe thousands of those things running towards the barrier.
You and bucky began shooting, taking out some of the ones which had made it through, sam and Rhodey already in the air. Your heart was thumping in your ears as you heard T’challa giving orders to open the barrier, bucky looked at you, eyes sparkling as he smiled at you.
“we’re gonna be okay, i promise doll” he assured you and you nodded, taking in a deep breath before taking off in a sprint alongside everyone. As the barriers opened, all of them got in, it was all a blur, shouts and groans coming from all around.
You shot as many as you could, making sure to try and keep everyone safe. You had lost bucky on the battlefield, everyone clashing. You didn’t have time to look for him as you continued shooting.
One of them knocked you over and you let out a groan, reaching for your ankle and swiftly stabbing it in the neck, cutting it open for good measure and rolling away before it’s blood could land on you.
You took the knife out, immediately throwing it and hitting one of them in the head and killing it before it could reach you. You were breathless as you continued to fight, running out of bullets.
“fuck” you whispered, eyes wide as you saw one of them running directly towards you. Scrambling to took one of your knives from a body on the floor, trying to throw it before the creature got too close. You were too late, by the time you turned around it had tackled you to the ground, sending the knife clattering to the floor.
You used all your strength to keep it from biting your head off, screaming as your limbs almost gave out.
You heard the sound of thunder above you, a bright light in the center of the battle field. You sighed out of relief when something hit the creature off of you, smiling widely as you realized who it had been.
Thor.
You got up quickly, grabbing another gun from the floor and laughing lightly when your eyes landed on the god of thunder, he was joined by a raccoon and some tree. You felt a weight lift off you shoulders.
“you guys are so screwed now!” Bruce cried out, joyous as he saw his friend.
“Bring me thanos!” Thor cried out, lightning emitting from his body as his eyes glowed, hitting the ground and electrocuting all the creatures around him.
You continued to shoot, frantic to try and minimize the number of the things on the field. It seemed like they would never stop coming, an infinite amount of them constantly bombarding you all.
The panic arose in your chest, you continued shooting, focusing on the endgame. You just had to finish this fight. You and bucky could get through this.
Your eyes were wide as you heard a deep rumbling, watching in horror as what seemed like giant spikey wheels erupted from the ground.
“fall back! fall back now!” T’challa cried out, your eyes searched for bucky, landing on him quickly and running towards him.
“y/n!” He called out, sighing in relief as he you ran next to him, stopping when you both saw wanda take some of them out.
“thought you were hurt” he spoke loudly between the gunfire, the two of you standing back to back as your shot.
“I could find you i got so worried” you replied loudly, glancing back and seeing a creature getting ready to pounce on the two of you.
“get down!” You yelled, pushing bucky to the ground and taking the knife he had strapped to his waist.
You reacted quickly, ducking slightly and thrusting the knife up into the air, the creature effectively cutting itself open, its insides pouring out as it flopped to the ground.
You helped bucky up and he smiled at you, in awe of your actions.
“thank you doll” he sighed out and you nodded, smiling for a second before going back to fighting.
“vision needs backup!” You heard over your earpiece, you and bucky turning to look at each other, nodding before taking off in a sprint towards the woody areas.
As the two of you arrived you stopped, catching your breath before realize how eerily quiet it was. Bucky looked over at you, concern on his face.
“‘M fine” you panted, wincing when you stood up straight, “just out of shape is all” you teased and bucky smiled.
“only you would make a joke while we’re about to face the most powerful being in the universe” he spoke and you smiled.
“if i don’t then who will” you shot back, walking quietly in search of the titan.
Your eyes landed on the rest of the team, running towards the titan and easily being thrown to the side, you and bucky ran together, raising your guns.
Neither of you even got a shot out before being tossed into the surrounding trees, wheezing as your back hit the trunk. You rolled on the ground, winded as you held your side.
Bucky recovered quicker than you, rushing to your side and helping you up.
“are you alright darlin?” there was worry in his voice and you managed a nod, moving to stand up, he threw your arm over his shoulder, helping you up.
You stood up with a wince, arms wrapping around him, holding him tightly and kissing his cheek before pulling away. You picked up your guns, handing one to bucky.
“ready?” you spoke and he nodded, the two of you ran to where you had last seen thanos.
Your heart dropped as you saw the mad titan snap his fingers, a bright light flashed before your eyes and bucky shielded you with his body.
When you looked back you saw his arm and the stoned sizzling, your eyes were wide and your lips trembled. No. No. this can’t happen.
“what did you do?!” Thor yelled, panic in his voice. Thanos quickly looked around, opening a portal and leaving into nothingness.
You walked over to steve quickly, bucky trailing behind you.
“Whered he go?” You spoke quietly, “where did he go!” You shouted.
“y/n?” You heard bucky say from behind you, steve and Thor looked over.
You turned your head, your eyes meeting with Buckys blue ones. The same baby blue ones you had seen on the highway, the same ones you saw on the helicarrier and when he found you after SHIELD fell.
It was the same bright blue eyes you would look into while cuddling by the lake when you visited him in wakanda.
They were wide, full of fear and panic as he looked at you and back to his hand as it turned to dust.
“bucky” you whispered, going to reach out to him, his legs turning to dust beneath him. You ran to catch him, wanting to hold him and tell him it would be okay.
You were to late, getting only a handful of dust as you reached for him. You felt your heart break in your chest, a pain you had never felt before. Falling to your knees you touched the ground, letting out a shaky breath and trying to calm yourself.
You shook your head, teary eyes as you watched those around you turn to dust.
“Sam!” You heard Rhodey call out. You could hear okoye shouting for t’challa.
You looked at steve in thor, hot tears in your face as you sobbed quietly.
You looked at your hands, ready for them to turn to dust, you could see the way they shook even through your teary vision.
A moment passed and nothing happened, you looked at your legs, expecting them to fade away but they never did.
No. No, not again. You shook your head, bringing your hands to your chest and curling into yourself.
“i cant lose him again” you whispered to yourself, “not when i was just getting him back, not when he was barely in my grasp”
You wiped away your tears as you heard natasha run to where Rhodey, Bruce, rocket steve and you were. You watched silently as steve flipped over visions body, your stomach hurt at the sight of it.
“what the hell is happening?” Rhodey spoke, looking around as steve let himself fall to the floor.
It was quiet as all of you looked around, natasha’s eyes landing on your broken expression. Your eyes were red, and you looked at steve, hoping he knew what to do.
“oh god” he let out, breathless as he looked around.
“I’m yours forever doll, no matter what happens” bucky smiled at you, his eyes bright as you bit your lip to hold back your smile. You handed him a gun, everyone around you running to get in position.
“and I’m yours forever my lovebug, we can get through this” you assured him, holding out your pinky as he quickly looped it in yours, bringing it to his chest and pulling you into his arms.
“one more fight” you whispered, the hope that you had wilted away, you grasped onto the flashes of the future you had seen.
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narutogwriting · 3 years
Note
If requests are open, then: Gaara has chosen a bride, but during their engagement she refuses to capitulate to Suna’s council and their desires to have her on their side instead of Gaara’s. So, in order to break trust/break them apart (the details are obvs your choice), a councilman or two sends a shinobi to sexually assault her.
Fortunately, Gaara discovers the man in time to save you.
With this prompt, could you write something for it? Hurt/confort, lemons (jfc tumblr just knock it off with the gag order already), dark/horror, your choice!
PRECIOUS
Pairing: Gaara x Reader
CW: Attempted sexual assault, light NSFW
Length:  4.6k+
A/N: I absolutely hate how this came out, but I hope it works for you and is what you were expecting!
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You know that feeling you have when you’re younger? You have the adults in your life. They always seem to know exactly what to say, what to do. And you never truly have to worry, because if you don’t have the answer, there’s always someone that does.
Right and wrong. It’s all so black and white, and you’re lucky because the adults in your life always make the upstanding choices.
At least, that’s what you think. 
And then you grow up. Little by little, you become older and wise enough to realize the more you think you know, the less you do.
And maybe it’s something big or something small when you first start to lose your faith in those in authority. But there’s always a moment when it clicks; the people in authority know no more than you do, they’re not morally honorable at all. They just have the power.
You’d been a ninja your whole life, but as you got older, you opted to step into a more political role for your village. You’d been around long enough to see how corrupt the ninja system was as a whole, and you had wanted to change it from the inside out.
You thought you’d already had your moment, multiple moments, even, that showed you just how amoral and deceitful the powers that be were.
You had no idea how bad they truly could get.
“So, I hope you understand what we’re asking. Your compliance is… let’s just say, in your best interest.”
Silence ensued. Sunagakure, like the other villages, had a system of checks and balances. Gaara was the Kazekage, leader of the village, but that didn’t mean he had this all consuming power. The Suna Council consisted of twelve members, all in place to make sure the Kazekage is doing what they should and that all decisions were made in the villages best interest.
The council and the Kazekage were supposed to be working together for the village, to make things, better, to help the people. The council was supposed to be supporting the Kazekage as the leader.
So, in a way, you almost couldn’t believe they would ask you this. Only almost. . The Sand Village had never had a reputation of being above reproach. Why, it was just a few years ago when they had partnered with the Sound Village to overthrow the Leaf Village, killing the Hokage in the process. Gaara had only been a child then, but the Suna Council that had agreed with the plot then was the same council that now demanded you betray your husband to be.
They wanted you in their ranks. The direction that Gaara was ready to lead Suna in wasn’t a direction the elders were ready for it to go.
It was new and completely different from anything they’d seen before. But Gaara was insistent that Suna was going to enter an era of peace and perseverance. They would be a village that would fight for the good of the world, not solely their own interests. Suna as a village would no longer be number one. People would be.
And so they expected you to play a secret agent for them. They would give you orders, and then, as Gaara’s wife to be, you would manipulate him into their desires, make him think they were his own. You would play him as if he were a puppet on your strings.
Maybe it was because you had been a diplomat before moving to the Sand for Gaara. They thought because you were a politician, that you would understand their requests and be bought off so easily. It was the very reason you’d taken the position; the way village politics worked needed to change.
The twelve council members stared at you steadily and expectantly. They expected your concurrence, couldn’t imagine that there would be any thought of going against their wishes. They’d gone so long getting exactly what they wanted.
All good things must come to an end. 
There were a couple ways you could have played this. Agreed and then told Gaara what they’d asked. That they were demanding for you to work Gaara behind the scenes and manipulate him to their will. You could have agreed, even. Accepted their offers of power and betrayed your betrothed.
You had endless options, but you would take none of them.
Gaara was the love of your life, going to be your husband, and you would present as a strong front. You would let there be no question of where your loyalty was.
Pushing back your chair, you stood, smacking your hands down on the tables, a sudden, loud move that made the old hags jolt. You bit back a satisfied smirk; good. You wanted to scare them, let them know *exactly where they stood with you.
“How dare you?” You demanded from them, meeting each member’s eye slowly and purposefully, wanting them to understand just how badly they had screwed up by trying to turn you against Gaara.
“I don’t know how things worked back in your days, but Gaara becoming Kazekage has reigned in a new era of peace and restitution for the Sand. Things will no longer be the way you allowed it to for so long, full of evil and sneakiness and cowardice. You’re going to learn soon enough; Suna has no more need for the ways of the old world.” You pushed off the table, scowling in disgust.
“How dare you call yourselves leaders while you attempt to turn the Kazekage’s betrothed into a traitor.” Lips pursed, you looked over them all one more time, doing nothing to hide the contempt in your gaze. “The Kazekage is not going to be pleased when he hears about this.”
With that, you turned on your heel, stomping out of the room, letting the door slam closed behind you.
Out of the room now, away from their gaze, you leaned against the other side of the door, feeling the way your heart raced erratically. You couldn’t believe you’d talked like that to the Suna Council. 
You’d never been meek, really. Confrontation just wasn’t your favorite thing, and besides this, you respected your elders and village leaders greatly, not discounting their wisdom or experience just because of different times. You’d even admired the council up until this moment. 
But no amount of reverence or admiration would ever surpass what you felt for Gaara. You loved him more than anything or anyone, and you would always be on his side no matter what. There was nothing and no one that could make you falter or second guess being by his side.
Heading back to your apartment, you wished not for the first time you shared it with Gaara. You and Gaara didn’t live together yet; he wasn’t exactly traditional, but he wanted to keep up the appearance of it. He didn’t want to move in together until the two of you were officially married, and that day was coming up soon. You could wait just a little longer until you got to wake up to his face every morning.
Nothing sounded more blissful.
It had been a diplomacy mission that had brought you from your home in Iwagakure to Suna for the very first time. 
Love at first sight wasn’t necessarily something you believed in, but the first time you laid eyes on Gaara, you knew there was something special in him. You’d heard the stories and the rumors your whole life, the demonic reincarnation of the one tailed beast that killed everything in his path to the reformed and revered youngest Kage in history.
Gaara had been nothing like you expected.
He had the kindest eyes you’d ever seen. At a young seventeen years old, his eyes held stories of a hundred lifetimes. He was quiet, observant. He took in everything and everyone around him, considering their every move and word before responding himself. When he spoke, it was with a shared respect and understanding of those who he was addressing.
You’d bowed respectfully when you met, addressing him, of course, as Kazekage. When you’d straightened, his eyes on you had you blushing; you felt bare under his gaze.
A week. You were only in Suna one week, and that was all it took for you to fall for Gaara. From the first late night the two of you spent negotiating and discussing the particulars of the alliance between your villages, you got to know Gaara more than you’d ever imagined you would.
And Gaara was just as sprung. From your easy smile to the quickness of your thoughts to the passion in which you spoke, he’d never met anyone like you.
You were a marvel to Gaara, and he didn’t let you leave without letting you know.
You were surprised in all honesty. You hadn’t been able to read whether or not he was as interested in you as you were in him, but either way, you wouldn’t have expected a person like Gaara to be so forward.
He was modest and reverent the night before you were to go back to your village when he told you he’d like you to return soon. He left no room for you to wonder what he meant, instantly letting you know that it was because he was enamoured with you, and he had every intention in pursuing you romantically if you would let him. 
Of course you would.
It was one and a half years of dating before you’d opted to give up your position in your village to move to the Sand. Gaara didn’t ask you to, never would have dreamed of making you choose between him and your job, but it was the obvious choice to you.
You loved Gaara irrevocably, and he was Kazekage. He couldn’t leave his village, so you would go to him.
It was only a year after that when Gaara asked you to marry him in a way that was so him. It was quiet and private and romantic as hell.
He’d asked you to go with him for a quiet walk to the green house, just about the only place in Suna that had any plants. It was both of your favorite places, so of course you agreed.
When you’d arrived, the green house was alight with fairy lights strung from every corner. Petals from various flowers littered the floor walkway down to an arc of ivy that definitely hadn’t been there before.
Looking at Gaara, your mouth hung agape in disbelief and confusion. He gave you a soft smile, taking your hand and leading you down the walkway. By the time you got to the ivory arc, you had tears overflowing. 
“Yes!” You were crying before he even got down on one knee.
Gaara had tried to shoosh you with a small laugh, but you weren’t having it, throwing your arms around him and peppering him with kisses before he could get a word in.
“You have to let me ask you. I have a speech.” He tried to tell you, but gave up as you continued to kiss him, laughing and kissing you back. He pulled a rock carved in the shape of a heart. Lifting the lid, it revealed the beautiful ring he had made for you.
He had to hold you still so he could slip the ring on your finger before kissing your hand.
“I love you,” He told you, those intense green eyes gazing into yours.
~
Your wedding was still a ways away, but you and Gaara were clearly in love. Why the council genuinely thought you would go along with their demands were beyond you. You’d given up politics for love without a second thought.
Shaking your head, you were relieved when your front door came into view. The first thing you wanted to do leaving your meeting was to go straight to Gaara, but he was gone for the next week on his own diplomacy meeting.
You sighed as you got into bed. Whenever he was home, the council was going to be in for a world of hurt. You could only imagine how livid and betrayed Gaara would geel.
~
The next few days went by without incident, though that did make you feel just a bit nervous. You expected to be called in for some sort of meeting again, to be talked to, at least sent a message. 
But there was nothing. All was peaceful and quiet.
The time passes slowly and uneventfully. You did paperwork and spent time with some friends. That night, you settled into bed with a cup of tea and a book, wishing Gaara was beside you. He’d be gone for a few more days still. 
So you opted for just a relaxing night in by yourself. You usually went to sleep early-ish, but that night, you were up well past your usual bedtime, emerged in the fantasy world in between the pages you were reading.
It was because you were awake that you heard a noise from your living room. It was small, barely there, but you’d heard it. It sounded like someone had bumped into something, maybe your living room table, and had been quick to steady it.
You froze, listening carefully for any more sound, but nothing came. You had almost convinced yourself that you imagined the whole thing, but every one of your senses was on high alert. Carefully, slowly, you crept out of your bed, grabbing the kunai you kept under your pillow just in case.
You held your breath, not wanting to risk even making a sound, as you tiptoed towards your bedroom door. Ear pressed to the cool wood, you listened.
Silence met you, but you weren’t convinced. Years as a Shinobi had taught you to trust your gut. Something was off; you could feel it.
Decided to go on the offensive, you turned the door handle and threw open the door, quickly barreling through the opening. You caught the intruder dead in their tracks. He was dressed in all black, everything covered besides his dark eyes.
You were in such shock at there actually being someone there, you froze for a split second. The intruder took that second to attack, lunging at you.
He smashed into you, knocking both of you to the floor, and that’s when your instincts kicked in. As soon as your back hit the floor, you were rolling, throwing your legs over your head and then you were on your feet, sending a kick into the man’s abdomen.
The man let out a gasp as the air was knocked from him. Wasting no time, you sprinted to your front door, ready to flee and call for help.
You weren’t prepared for another intruder waiting at the otherside of the door. The second you opened it, locking eyes with him, his fist lashed out before you could even react.
Pain was all you felt before the world went black. 
The world came into view slowly. As your vision cleared, you realized you were in your own bedroom. When you tried to move, you were alarmed to find that your arms and legs were both bound. Your attempt at a scream was muffled by the gag in your mouth. 
“Heh, we’ve been waiting for you to wake up.” Your head jerked to see the intruder that you had kicked looming over you. “You’re lucky you got that kick in when you did, but I’m gonna have to pay you back for that one.”
He drew his hand back before smacking it across your face. You gave a muffled cry as the left side of your face stung in pain. 
“Stop fucking around,” hissed the other man. “We have orders. Get to it.”
You looked up between the two, scared and confused. What kind of orders? 
The first man chuckled with a smirk that looked more like a sneer. “Oh, I’m gonna enjoy this…” He mused as he pulled out a kunai. He moved toward you slowly, deliberately, letting the fear creep from your neck down your spine.
You shook your head, jerking this way and that, but the second intruder pinned you to the bed by your shoulders. “Better stay still, bitch.” He hissed at her. “We got a job to do here. This’ll teach you to defy the village council. By the time we’re done with you, you won’t think twice about doing what they say.”
As soon as the words left his mouth, your night shirt was fisted by the first man before he ripped the kunai through it. 
Your face burned hot with embarrassment and shame as the remains of your top were shredded, leaving you bare. You could feel their eyes looming over you, taking in every part of your skin.
“Even your fiancé ain’t gonna want you when we’re done.” You heard snickered, but by this point you’d screwed your eyes shut, not wanting to see them looking at you like you were a piece of meat.
Shuffling made your eyes peak back open to see the first man fumbling with the buttons of his pants. 
“Oh yeah, I’m gonna enjoy this.”
He shoved his boxers down, revealing himself as he palmed his length to hardness.
You began thrashing again with renewed vigor despite the hands still pinning your shoulders down. Somehow, you managed to free yourself from the second man's grasp, rolling off the bed and attempting clumsily to push yourself to your feet.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
Your ankles were grabbed and unceremoniously, you were dragged kicking back to the man. In moments he had your own pants discarded before he was looming over you.
Everything about him was revolting you. His smell, his heavy body to those cold dead eyes. In one last desperate attempt, you headbutted him as hard as you could, feeling your forehead smash into his nose.
Warm blood spurted out, splashing over you as he let out a mangled scream. “You bitch! I’ll kill you!”
Spots flashed before your vision as his fist connected with your cheek, leaving you disoriented and drowning in pain.
“I’ve had enough of this,” the second man hissed, shoving the first one off of you. “I’ll take care of this.”
He pinned you with his entire body as you felt him shuffling for his pants once more.
You weren’t sure when you’d started crying, but the tears were flowing, drenching your cheeks as your stomach turned sickly. You screwed your eyes shut, willing your mind to go anywhere else but here.
There was nothing else to do but resign yourself to your fate. You couldn’t fight back or scream for help. All you could do was pray it would be over quickly. 
You were still waiting when the weight of his body suddenly lifted off of yours, and you heard the most horrifying scream. Your blood went cold at the sound, causing your eyes to shoot open.
Sobs began to wrack your body as it shook with relief so great it overwhelmed you. Gaara! He was here!
And you’d never seen him look so angry before. 
His eyes were wide and crazed, the vessels looking like they would pop at any second. The men were screaming, pleading, but Gaara couldn’t hear them pass the blood rushing in his ears. Teeth bared, he was growling, the sound menacing and maniacal.
In this moment you understood something in a way you never had before: Gaara was a force to be feared.
“Please! Please, we’re sorry!” “No! Don’t!”
“Sand Coffin.” 
The men let out one last strangled scream before they were silenced permanently. Blood splattered everywhere, pouring down like rain. It streamed down over you and everything else in your room. 
Gaara was panting hard, still looking more wild than you’d ever seen him. His eyes were locked on the sand that was seeping red with blood. 
A small whimper from you brought him back. His eyes quickly flickered to you, and it was like you could see his soul returning to his body.
He was by your side in a second, kneeling next to you and pulling you to him. He gently removed the gag from your mouth and removed the bind from your wrists and ankles.
He didn’t know what to say, didn’t have the words. He just held you while you weeped into his chest, wrapped in a blanket and finally feeling safe in his arms. 
It took you a while to calm down. The adrenaline had left your body, leaving you only with the weight of what had almost happened. The fear and shock left you trembling, ripping sobs from your throat.
“I’m here…” He kept repeating. “It’s okay. I’m here.”
Once you were able to finally relax, Gaara packed you a bag and took you to his home. You would never need to go back to your home with those traumatic memories, he decided. To hell with tradition or social conventions. He would move you into his home first thing the next morning.
At Gaara’s home, he ran a bath for the two of you filled with bubbles. He took a warm wash cloth, gently wiping the blood from your body. He massaged the blood back to the areas you’d been binded and iced the bruises on your face, any traces of the manic man from earlier gone. All that was left was the serene Gaara you knew and loved.
Gaara didn’t press you to talk or tell him anything the whole while, only made sure you were attended to and cared for.
It was later on once the two of you were in bed with Gaara holding you close to him that you filled him in on what had happened: the Suna Council attempts to get you to turn against Gaara and manipulate him to their purpose. What those men had said before they’d attempted to… you couldn’t even say the word.
Gaara took it all in silently, but you could feel his grip on you tighten just slightly as you spoke. He was livid; you could see it in his eyes, though it was much more subdued than before. “I’m so sorry this happened to you,” he finally spoke, his words heavy and choked.
“If you weren’t marrying me…” He stopped, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “I’m sending out word first thing to the four other villages. We’ll have the members disbanded and imprisoned before the week ends.” He assured you with a conviction and sternness you’d only seen in meetings before. 
Nodding, you pulled him closer to you. “I never thought I’d see you again…” You told him. “I was so scared… I thought…” You shook your head. “You saved me. You’re always there.”
“Always,” Gaara said, kissing your head. 
He didn’t know whether to chalk it all up to luck or intuition that he’d come home early. He had just missed you so terribly, it was like he suddenly couldn’t stand to be away from you for another moment. He’d cut his diplomacy trip early and hurried back, getting to you in just the nick of time.
“I don’t wanna talk about it anymore…” You murmured, looking up at him. “I just wanna forget about it, just for tonight…” With that, you reached up to press your lips to his.
Gaara hesitated only for a moment before kissing you back. He’d missed you so much, and if this was what was going to make you feel better, well, who was he to deny you? In a moment, you were up on top of him, straddling his lap as you kissed him more forcefully, almost desperately.
Gaara’s arms went around you, fingers digging into your hips as he held you against him. He let one hand slide up your back into your hair, tangling his fingers in the strands. Slowly, your lips slid down, moving over his jaw down to his neck, peppering every area you could reach with kisses.
Your name left Gaara’s mouth, a low, needy whine. It sent a jolt through your body, and you began to grind yourself into his lap. You could feel Gaara’s grip tighten in your hair even more as he slowly began to harden underneath you.
Your fingers began to pull at the hem of his shirt desperately. You needed something to ground you. You needed Gaara.
He let you pull the shirt off of him, discarding it to the side before he was on you again.
He flipped you over so you were on your back as he attached his own lips to your neck, attacking the skin, marking you as his. You were moaning and trembling under his touch, begging him for more as his hands wandered your body.
“Gaara,” You groaned out as his fingers fumbled with the waistband of your pants. “No foreplay. I want you now.”
You could hear Gaara stifle his groan at your words before your pants were unceremoniously yanked down. His lips pressed harshly back to yours, all tongue and teeth. Gaara had put aside his own feelings earlier for yours, but now they were pouring out of him.
His anger at the council. His bloodthirst for those men. His fear for what almost had happened to you; you could taste it all in the kiss. Gaara needed you to ground him just as much as you needed him to ground you.
One moment you were kissing and the next your clothes were in a pile, and he was inside of you, hands pinning down your hips as he rutted into you desperately. Your nails scratched down his back, you tried to moan or cry out, but all your sounds were swallowed by his lips.
You were breathless, dizzy as his hips pounded into yours, never breaking the kiss. His pelvic bone caught your clit with every movement and it wasn’t long before you were gushing around him, but he didn’t slow his moments. He pulled your legs up, locking them around his waist. “More,” He was mumbling against your lips. “More.” When it was over, you cumming around his cock countless times before he finally found his own release, spilling inside of you endlessly, he pulled you into his side, holding you closer than he had in some time.
“I’ve never seen you like that before.” The image played in your mind, Gaara’s eyes wild and burning, the flames of anger behind them.
Gaara tensed slightly, but you placed your hand on his chest, calming him as you gazed up at him. You weren’t afraid of him. You were only… intrigued by this side of him you’d never experienced.
“I use to crave blood.” He told you. “I know you have heard the stories. My whole life, I was told I was a monster. I thought I was one. My sole purpose was to kill everyone around me so I could survive.”
His hand was rigid on your shoulder as he spoke, but you held his gaze unwavering. You accepted Gaara. Every part of him. 
“But now, I know my true purpose.” His stare was steady, sure. “Ever since I’ve become Kazekage. My purpose has been to protect those precious to me, those who need someone to protect them. I no longer crave violence or blood. But I will not let anyone, no matter who they are, hurt someone I love…” He pulled you even closer, placing a kiss on the top of your head. 
“I never would have dreamed I would have someone precious to me, or someone who I am precious to. But now that I have you, I’m never going to let you go.”
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nebulablakemurphy · 3 years
Text
The Red Room
Summary: Meeting Yelena in the red room is the best and worse thing that’s ever happened to you. Warning: romantic Yelena x Fem!reader pairing and depictions of violence.
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Those first weeks in the red room pass in a blur. You have one room. Just you. Meals are delivered like clockwork; no one speaks to you. Your only company being the television set that plays the same clips; morning, noon and night.
Until one day the lights flip on brightly above you and a woman enters. You squint up at her, “hello?”
“Hello.” She replies, “are you ready to get out of here?”
“Where will I go?” You wonder.
“Wherever I tell you.”
That is your first encounter with Madame B. When you were younger you thought her something of a savior. You know better now. Still when she calls for you, there’s no choice but to go.
You make your way down the long hall, florescent lights humming above you. Finally reaching the room you’ve been assigned; you grasp the door knob. Feeling the weight of the cool metal against your palm, with a steadying breath you turn it.
Inside is only Madame B and a girl. One you’ve only seen in passing, one of Dreykov’s favorites.
“Y/N, meet Yelena. She will be your partner from now on.” Madame B leads the introduction.
“Did something happened to Oksana?” Your brows pull together, voice small. Afraid to cross an unspoken boundary. She’s always been your partner.
“Oksana is no longer your concern.” The woman bites out. “Shake hands and prepare for your lesson.”
You nod, biting your tongue.
Lesson…
Sparring.
Dancing.
Captive simulations.
What will it be this time?
“Oksana is ok.” Yelena tells you, once the trainer is out of earshot.
“Good,” you whisper, holding your hand out to shake without another word.
“Is that why they kept you locked up so long? You don’t play well with others?” The blonde takes your hand, eyes narrowed into slits.
“I don’t play at all.” You inform her. Pleasing these people is your ticket out of here, and you will get out.
“Everybody plays, whether you want to or not.” Yelena tells you, letting your fingers slip from hers. “Just don’t get in my way.”
——————————————————————-
You don’t get in each other’s way. Somehow having Yelena as a combat partner is a lot less annoying than you anticipated.
Oksana is a better friend, but you aren’t here to make friends. You’re here to kill. Topple regimes from the inside out, Yelena helps you do that.
Your training with Yelena is different. Chipping away parts of you until you fit together seamlessly. From trust falls to synchronized attack plans, you name it you do it. Sometimes until you bleed.
One of your trainers, Ivan, has taken a liking to blind folded direction. Outside of captive simulations it is your least favorite team building activity.
You remind yourself to focus and breathe. In some ways guiding is worse than being guided. “Veer slightly to your right.”
Yelena lifts one bare foot, holding it airborne, allowing you to assess the placement of her next step. “Here?”
“Yeah,” you sigh, as she clears the bit of shattered glass. “That’s perfect.”
———————————————————————
Your first real assignment comes on Monday, June second.
“Come in, Miss American Pie. I have eyes on the target.” Yelena informs you through the ear piece.
“That’s still not my name, over. Stay high, I’m going down.” You reply, deploying your rope and riding it to the ground.
“Five ticks northwest and the package is yours.”
“Copy.” You follow her instruction, ducking away as a bullet shatters the window beside you. “Easy.” You chastise, in a hushed whisper.
“Sorry,” she apologizes half heartedly. The kill was necessary and she had a clean shot.
You spot your target, ready to turn onto the main street from the alleyway. You wrestle him to the ground, he puts up a good fight. Not good enough.
You wipe the blood from your hands before removing the usb drive from his breast coat pocket. “Just admit it,” you taunt, turning to the building Yelena is scoping from, “you’re proud of me.”
“Y/N!” Her tone is not playful at all.
What’s wrong? Before you get a chance to ask the man you’d assumed dead has his knife buried in your thigh.
You crumple to the ground as he prepares to strike again. In the time it takes to unholster your weapon a silent bullet reaches his temple from the sky.
You squint up at Yelena, watching her ride her teether down to the ground beside you. “Thanks.” You pant, inspecting the damage.
“That was sloppy,” she frowns, searching her pack for the midkit, then tearing open a package of gauze. “You always check the body, confirm the kill.”
“I know, I was stupid.” You gasp, feeling Yelena apply an obscene amount of pressure to your wound.
“We need to move to the extraction point, they can deal with you in medical.” Yelena rises, tossing your arm over her shoulder for support.
“It won’t happen again.” You promise, leaning heavily against her side.
“You’re right, it won’t. I have no idea what happens to me if you die.” She grumbles, somewhat bitterly.
———————————————————————
Interactions with Yelena are sparse after that. She doesn’t trust you. Only showing up for your lessons and leaving the moment they’re finished. You understand why she’s angry, you would be too.
According to your weekly rotation, today should be live target practice, however you are directed to a different room.
Once inside your eyes find the chair. You hate that chair. You hate this room. Nothing good ever happens here.
Slowly you move toward Yelena at the far wall.
“A little birdie told me that you’ve been holding back in combat lessons.” Ivan says, tapping a finger to his chin. “Why is that?”
You bite anxiously at the inside of your cheek.
“I said why is that?!”
You notice Yelena flinch from the corner of your eye. “It’s my fault,” you hold up a hand. “I took a hit on our last mission and my partner was being mindful of my injuries.”
“Oh I see.” He smirks, condescendingly. “You don’t want to hurt each other.”
“It would be counter productive to harm my partner.” Yelena points out. The red room drilled that into you.
“That is true.” His eyes dart between you. “But we can’t have you afraid of sparring together. Now can we?”
Your jaw ticks, awaiting the consequence.
“When’s the last time you girls ran a captive simulation?”
“Two weeks ago.” Yelena presents her left index finger to him for inspection. The nail just beginning to grow back.
Ivan hums, “When’s the last time you ran a captive simulation on each other?”
Your heart drops, all the blood running out of your face. Not for months.
“Hmm,” he wets his lips. “Who gets to play the captor first?”
Neither one of you volunteer.
“Belova,” he purrs. “Come choose your tools while Y/L/N straps herself into the chair.”
You don’t hesitate, it’ll be worse if you do. Tuning out his incessant chatter you find your seat. The metal chair sends a chill up your spine. Bending at the waist, you strap each ankle into a leather restraint, then your non dominant hand. Free hand waiting, curled around the arm rest.
Yelena kneels before you, her selections resting at your feet as she closes the final strap around your wrist. Your breath quickens.
“Fifteen minutes on the clock then you’ll switch.” Your spectator announces. “Make them count or we’ll start over.”
On autopilot Yelena reaches for the scalpel.
You don’t mean to scream…but eventually you do. You always do.
———————————————————————
Yelena knows your weaknesses and regularly exploits them to leave you face up on the floor during hand to hand combat sessions.
You used to resent her for it, but it made you strong. Stronger than you’ve ever been or hoped to be. The day you finally best her the room is filled with hushed whispers. Now you are ready.
You learn to move in harmony. The trainers ease up a bit and the other girls line up to watch you like an exhibit. You are two halves of a more perfect whole.
“Madame B, can I ask you something?” You say, fiddling with the hem of your shirt.
“Of course.” The older woman replies. “What is it?”
“Why was my training so different with Oksana?”
She leans in. “You were not brought here to be a partner to Oksana. She was standing in until we could be sure you were ready for a partner. Nothing more.”
“Was I brought here to be Yelena’s partner?” The question burns at the back of your throat.
“I understand the desire to seek meaning in these things. You hope to find your place in the world.”
You nod.
“But you have no place in the world,” the words cut like a knife. “What you do have is an opportunity to prove that you are not a waste of space, time, or resources. Come, let’s sit for debriefing.”
You wait in silence for Yelena to arrive, finally she does. Taking the seat beside you in the meeting room.
“In two days you will undergo the graduation ceremony, after which you are granted up to three days recovery time before you will be deployed to Moscow.” Madame B reviews the information, handing you each a folder of details.
“Enclosed you will find your identification cards and aliases. I suggest you take this time to familiarize yourselves. Tomorrow we will begin shooting photographs for the past two years of your lives. Report with several changes of clothing. Congratulations on this assignmet. It is a great honor.” Madame B dismisses you.
You open the file. ‘Katherine and Irena Reiner.’
“We’re sisters?” Yelena guesses.
Worse. “We’re married.”
“Even better.” She says under her breath, rising from the chair.
———————————————————————
Life in Moscow is different. Good. The neighbors are easy enough to convince. You play your parts to perfection.
The company you work for being the main focus. They have access to some sort of programming that Dreykov is desperate to get his hands on. You know better than to ask why.
Most mornings you get ready together, discussing the events of the previous day to prepare for the next.
“How come you only speak English?” Yelena wonders, turning off the steady spray of water from her shower and reaching out to grab a towel.
“I have a theory,” you reply, spitting excess toothpaste into the sink. “I think keeping me dependent on translation had more pros than cons.”
“They taught me.” She says, stepping onto the bath mat. “But I guess that’s different.”
You were brought in much older a majority of the other girls.
Your eyes meet in the mirror, seeing each other as if for the first time.
“I could teach you.” She offers, breaking the connection as she turns away.
“Yeah?” You pass the brush through your hair.
Yelena shrugs, “I have nothing better to do.”
“Just don’t teach me the wrong words to make me look stupid.” You arch a brow.
“It would be counter productive to harm my partner.”
Hours turn into days. Days into weeks and suddenly you stand on a blurred line. How much is she pretending? How much are you?
The two of you rest on opposite ends of the couch. Enjoying another round of prime time television.
“Yesterday I was talking to that girl in accounting.” Yelena pulls your attention from the picture.
“The blonde one?” You ask, tossing a piece of popcorn at her.
She attempts to catch it in her mouth. Having had more than a few drinks her coordination is lacking.
You smirk, when it falls into her lap.
“No Maggie.” She corrects you, finding the wayward piece and biting into it.
“Mmm.” You hum.
“Mmm? What do you mean, ‘mmm?’” Yelena’s brows pull together.
“Nothing,” you insist. “I was just acknowledging what you said.”
“You didn’t sound very happy about it. Did she do something to you?” Yelena demands, straightening her posture.
“No, she didn’t do anything. Anyway tell me what happened.”
“She’s worked there for a long time. I think she knows more than she says she does.”
“So are you gonna talk to her again? See if she’ll open up?” Yelena has that effect on people.
“I am married.” She rolls her eyes, flipping her left ring finger in place of the middle.
“Shut up.” You chuckle.
“I’m crazy about you, know you. Ever since we met in high school. You didn’t like me at first but you came around.” Yelena elaborates.
“I don’t remember seeing all that in our cover story.” You cock your head to the side.
“That was a shit story, I’m rewriting it.” She waves a hand.
“Tell me more.” Tell me everything.
———————————————————————
“Did you get milk?” You shout, peeking into the nearest paper bag.
“Was it on the list?” Yelena hollers back, from the front door, kicking it shut. Her arms full of groceries.
“I don’t remember,” you say, unpacking the head of lettuce and eggs.
“You made the list.” She scoffs, setting the rest of the haul on the floor.
A knock pulls your attention away from the food.
“Who is it?” You wonder.
“It’s me, George. From next door.” Your neighbor answers.
Yelena rolls her eyes, waving you out of the kitchen. It’s your turn to make small talk.
You step carefully around the produce to the main entrance. “Hey George.” You smile, swinging open the door, “what’s up?”
“Katherine!” He greets you. “Could I borrow Irena for a minute?”
“Is that lawnmower giving you trouble again?” You guess, leaning against the door frame.
“It’s running great actually. There’s something else I’m curious about though.”
“I can send her over after dinner.” You attempt to dismiss him.
“Aren’t you going to invite me in?” George moves his foot to prevent the door from closing, producing a pistol from his waistband.
“George!” Yelena waves, clearly oblivious.
“Irena,” he looks down at the gun, pointed at your chest, “we have much to discuss.”
“Clearly.” Yelena agrees, coming to join you on the threshold. “Are you going to tell me why you have my wife at gunpoint?”
“We should take this inside.”
“I’m good here.”
He presses the barrel against your skin through the fabric of your shirt. “You sure about that?”
“On second thought, I could go for a drink. Do you like scotch?” Yelena takes a step back, leaving room for him to enter the house.
“Who sent you?” George demands, guiding you into the kitchen.
“We also have brandy.” She says, expression unreadable.
“Who are you working for?” He asks a second time, adjusting his grip on the gun. “First one goes in her leg.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Yelena drawls. “But I’m going to warn you, if you hurt her, you die.”
“You have three seconds to give me a better answer,” the nuzzle of the gun sits flush against you upper thigh. “One, two-“
Yelena lunges, the gun firing into the floor when he’s knocked off balance.
George tosses her off as if she weighs nothing. You rush him, knocking the fire arm to the other side of the room. Your arms locked around his neck, flush to his back. He rams you back first into the china cabinet.
You fall away with a grunt.
“Now,” the man rights himself. Wiping away the blood from his split bottom lip with the back of his hand. “We’re going to have fun.”
Taking a fist full of your hair he begins pulling you toward the center of the room. You grab for a large shard of glass, slicing it over the back of this knee. He releases you, doubling over.
“I warned you.” Yelena snarls, stabbing her knife into his belly, making a straight line up to his sternum. “You thought you could use her to break me? They used to make me torture her! They used to make me-“ she breaks off, withdrawing her knife. Only to ram it in again and again.
George, if that was his real name, is long dead. A crimson puddle blooming on the floor. It doesn’t stop Yelena, hot, angry tears rolling past her cheeks.
“Yelena.” You say softly.
“They used to make me do it.” She repeats, the weight of the words crushing down on her.
Your arms envelope her from behind.
“No.” She sobs when she feels you there, holding exactly where it hurts.
“It’s ok.” You whisper against her ear.
The blood stained blade clatters to the ground. Her breathing ragged as both her hands find yours, squeezing tightly. Don’t let go.
“It’s ok.”
“No it’s not.” She cries, frantically shaking her head.
“I did it too.” As if she needs reminding. “They made me do it too.”
She allows you to stay curled around her, desperately trying to absorb some of that pain.
———————————————————————
Yelena’s drug of choice is alcohol, the spirits burn their way into her blood stream. Erasing all that she’s done.
“You want a glass?” She offers, setting the bottle of clear liquor down on the coffee table.
“No thanks.” You shake your head, hair still damp from the shower.
“Don’t be a hero,” she rolls her eyes as she takes a seat. The water had washed away any trace of George.
“Fine,” you take a long swig from the bottle in question.
“You’ll thank me later.” She tosses back a shot, sliding the strap of your pajama top down to assess the damage to your left shoulder. “It’s deep, going to need stitches. This is why we don’t go through china cabinets.” Yelena chastises, moving for the first aid kit.
“Yeah, not my finest moment.” You peek at her. “But it worked.”
“Mmm,” she hums, returning to her spot. Flipping open the white box and removing what she needs to stitch you up.
First she hits you with the antiseptic “сука!” Bitch.
“See,” you can hear the smile in her voice, “you are learning.”
You let out a pained laugh, “I guess I am. We need to call someone to clean this up.”
“Here,” she hands you her phone, blowing gently over you wound. “You take care of that, I take care of you.”
Your heart clenches at her words. But Yelena is your partner. That is all.
“Belova, do you have a status update?” A familiar voice answers after the first ring.
“Yeah, we need a cleanup.” You say matter of factly.
“Agent Y/L/N.” He greets you. “How many?”
“One.”
“For now,” The man remarks.
“You didn’t tell us we weren’t alone in this pursuit.” You purse your lips.
“There’s a reason we sent the best. I’ll put in for a clean up crew in the morning.”
“Let them know the body is in the bathtub.”
The goes dead.
The conversation distracts you well enough from the dull ache of the needle poking and pulling at your shoulder.
Carefully Yelena bandages the abused skin. Her finger tips running along the back of your arm.
“Thank you.” You whisper, relaxing into her touch.
Her lips ghost over your skin. “You’re welcome.”
Oh.
Slowly you turn, as if not to startle her. Yelena’s eyes find yours.
You move closer, tracing the line of her jaw. “Thank you,” you repeat.
She nods, still unsure.
“Of all the people I could’ve been stuck here with…I’m glad it was you.”
“You don’t have to say that.” She pulls your hand away gently.
“You’re right. I don’t have to say anything.“ You murmur, “But I want to… and it would be counter productive to harm my partner.”
“We can’t.” She knows it. You know it. “It will get in the way. They’ll kill us.”
“No.” You chuckle bitterly. “They’ll make us kill each other.”
“I wouldn’t do it,” Yelena insists.
“You won’t have a choice.” You point out. “Didn’t you hear about that stuff they started pumping into people?”
“Mind control.” Yelena replies in Russian.
“It’s only a matter of time.”
“Maybe we get out.”
“Maybe,” you smile sadly, “maybe we find each other.” In another life.
———————————————————————
Three days later Yelena comes home late. During your day off you were tasked with the more mundane tasks of running a household, but you suppose there are worse things. She finds you in the laundry room, drink already in hand. Her mouth set in a frown.
“What’s wrong?” You drop the piece of clothing back into the basket.
“I have it.” Yelena confesses.
You press your lips together, you knew this was coming. That information is the only reason you are here. “Did you contact them?”
“Not yet.”
“Are you going to?”
“You say that like I have a choice.” She stares down at her drink.
“I just meant-“
“I know what you meant.” Yelena knows you, better than anyone. The red room saw to that. “Do you want to stay one more night?”
“Do you?” You wonder.
“When I was a little girl…I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye.”
“In the morning,” you offer. Any longer and the risk will be too great. “We’ll go in the morning.”
She nods, taking in the room around her. “I wanted it to be real.”
“It was.” You choke down the lump in your throat.
———————————————————————
Your return to the red room is swift. No pat on the back or celebration to be had. Just two pawns, returning to their places on the board.
You’re separated from Yelena. Because your loyalties are to each other and that poses a threat. But what did they expect? They made you this way.
You are alone. Perhaps the most alone you’ve ever been. Or maybe you’d just forgotten that you could feel things. You remember now and wish you didn’t.
Like it or not she changed you. Knowing her had changed you, for better or for worse. After Yelena you were never the same.
Word of Oksana’s escape only fuels the need to chemically alter the minds of all agents. Beginning in order of importance.
Finding Yelena seated on the bench outside the physician’s office steals the breath from your lungs. To see her now is blatantly cruel and calculated.
Still you sit in the empty space beside her.
“Do you know where your orders are?” She asks.
“Yeah,” you nod, “Budapest. You?”
“Back to Moscow.” Yelena informs you.
You swallow hard, your pinkies skating past each other.
“Agent Y/L/N,” the doctor opens his door. You watch as another widow exits, she doesn’t look any different. Maybe the mind control drugs aren’t affective.
You steal one last glance at Yelena. Her eyes are desperate, ‘don’t go.’ Both of you knowing you can’t stay.
“Enjoy Moscow.” You whisper, moving reluctantly to your feet.
She tears her gaze away, unable to watch you leave. “I hear Budapest is beautiful.”
You hope so.
Wanna know what happens next? Check out chapter one of Miss American Pie! 💜
Yelena Belova Taglist: @captainwonderwidow
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alpacaparkaseok · 3 years
Text
Could you repeat the question?
pairing: Taehyung x reader, oc x Yeonjun (TXT)
premise: a joint interview with your group, BTS, and TXT two months after you met your soulmate.
word count: 2k
[2/2] continuation of Can’t Keep My Hands To Myself
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requested by anon - a picture of your request will be at the bottom of the post! 
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“Please don’t tell them.”
“Me? Why would I say anything?”
“You...you have that look.”
Yeonjun whirls around to face Taehyung, who just entered the room. “Do I have a look?”
Taehyung winks at you in greeting, something that nearly makes you swoon and your group members snicker. 
“A look?” He frowns for a moment before giving his dongsaeng a pitiful smile. “Oh yeah, you do. Definitely.” Taehyung smiles at Jiwoo, my band member who is busy sending death glares at her soulmate. “He’s gonna spill it.”
Yeonjun jumps up from his seat at the same time Taehyung settles down beside you, placing his arm on the back of the couch and brushing your hair off to the side. It’s enough to make goosebumps rise on your skin, which of course he notices. 
Oh, how you’d like to wipe that knowing little smirk off his face right now. 
“I can’t believe this! I’m not going to say a thing-”
“Yeonjun, and I’m saying this with love, if you say a single thing about it, I will personally unplug your refrigerator when you least expect it.”
Your attention is pulled away when you feel Taehyung leaning in to whisper something in your ear. “So, do we know what they’re arguing about?”
You can’t help but giggle. “Nope. Jiwoo won’t say anything.”
“Neither will Yeonjun.”
The smitten couple have been teasingly arguing for the entirety of the morning, leaving the rest of us in complete and utter confusion. 
Oh well, I suppose it’ll help make the broadcast a bit more exciting. 
It’s been two months since Jiwoo and I first *ahem* teleported to our soulmates at the MAMA awards. Or rather, since I landed in Taehyung’s lap and Jiwoo was nearly knocked unconscious when Yeonjun was thrown into her at full force. Of course, Jiwoo claims that it was horribly embarrassing, to which I’m always quick to say that she should feel lucky that at least she didn’t end up in a grown man’s lap. For all to see, no less. 
Ari, our other group member, just rolls her eyes and tells us that beggars can’t be choosers. 
Yeah, whatever that means. 
The past two months have been busy, with hardly enough time to spend with my soulmate. Between the busy schedules and BTS and TXT and our own schedule, we’ve had to settle for late-night FaceTimes and the occasional lunch at the Bighit building. I’ve become really good at sneaking in and out of that building in broad daylight - so far I have yet to be discovered. 
Today, however, is an important one. It’s our first official schedule together as soulmates. Naturally, all three groups have come together for the interview/variety show. 
“Alright, time to head on!” A manager shouts into the room, and suddenly there’s a flurry of movement as we all head toward the door. “I need all the soulmates to stick to their own groups, ok? We don’t want to be causing a riot today.”
Right. With a gloomy expression, Taehyung parts from me to head back to his members. Jiwoo and I glue ourselves to Ari’s side, much to her chagrin. “Ready?”
Both you and Jiwoo respond simultaneously. “Nope.”
Ari just sighs, feigning annoyance. Together, the three of you await your cue as one by one, your groups are introduced. 
TXT goes first, the hosts making a big deal out of swooning over Soobin who now has a cult of his own due to his MC abilities. They make a show of handing the microphone over to him, begging him to take it over from there. He politely declines, while the rest of the boys bicker and chat in the background. 
Then your group is called out, and you find yourself walking out before a huge crowd. You didn’t realize that many people could fit in this building, but here they are. And all of them are here for the same reason: to get a look at the soulmate couples that have newly formed. 
And that have been trending on Twitter and Tumblr for two solid months, breaking all kinds of records. 
As BTS is introduced with an almost reverent tone, you understand why you’ve been trending for so long.
It has a lot to do with one of the men walking out right now, smiling at the crowd and waving, graciously bowing his way across the stage. 
Taehyung wears a gray casual suit which has him looking like he just stepped off a photoshoot. Hair perfectly styled and eyes glowing with adoration for the fans that roar and wave, he commands the entire room with a single raise of his eyebrows. 
Your soulmate, ladies and gentlemen. 
Today is the day where you prove to the rest of the world how much of a perfect match you are for this man. The notion is terrifying. 
“Wow!” The host, a jovial man named Donghyun shouts out, exaggerating how amazed he is by the crowd’s reaction to all three groups sharing the same stage. Indeed, it’s a rare sight. “Ok! Should we get started?”
After a few minutes of more introductions, a few cursory questions (he asks Yeonjun what he’s been up to recently and you’re pretty sure Jiwoo manages to telepathically threaten him, because he chooses the most vague answer imaginable), and instructions on how to begin the next activities, you’re off to the races. 
Painting races, that it. 
Donning a frock and eyeing the empty canvas before you, you glare at your opponent across the way. Taehyung, to his credit, refrains from winking at you. He thinks you’re adorable when you’re flustered, but now’s not the time. 
“Taehyung-ssi!”
Taehyung blinks up at Donghyun. “Yes?”
“Are you going to let your soulmate win?”
The game is simple: paint the listed object with as much detail as possible in a sixty second period. The others will have to guess what it is. 
Taehyung pouts his lips a bit, glancing over at you with a glint in his eye. “I’ll have to see, I think.”
Donghyun chuckles into the mic, turning to face you. “What about you? If Taehyung-ssi falls behind, will you help him win?”
You wiggle your eyebrows at your soulmate, heart soaring when he delivers a boxy grin. “Oh, of course not. I came to compete, not hold hands.”
The crowd bursts out laughing, and someone yells out, “I’ll hold his hand for you!”
You all dissolve into a fit of laughter at that, your cheeks blushing madly. “Yeah, thanks for the offer,” you say between giggles. Readying your paint brush, you wait for the signal. 
You’ve been given the word ‘Iceland’, which you figure shouldn’t be too hard. 
What you failed to account for was the fact that you’re perhaps the worst painter you know. What should look like a globe looks like a basketball and what should be a cube of ice instead looks like nothing more than a cardboard box. 
In the end, you’re pretty sure you laugh more than you paint. Your team members, consisting of a mix from both teams, look utterly confused at the end product. Eventually it’s Jin - who happens to be on Taehyung’s team - that accidentally calls out the answer. 
The rest of the games pass by in a blur of laughter and covert glances toward Taehyung. He always manages to find a way to make you laugh, even though he remains on the other side of the stage for the most part. You don’t miss all of the fans that look at him dreamily, and you can only hope that they’re happy with your overall performance today. 
At the end, you all squeeze onto a couple of couches. Donghyun makes a fuss over allowing the soulmates to sit together, and you can’t hide your smile as a beet-red Yeonjun sidles down to the couch to sit beside Jiwoo, placing his hands in his lap and trying not to do anything that will go viral. 
Taehyung sits on your right, crossing his arms in a way that pulls on his suit jacket enough to expose the outline of his biceps. You catch your eyes wandering, snapping your attention back to the front where Donghyun reads some questions off of a card. 
“I believe that this was the first time soulmates have met while performing at MAMA, is that correct? What were your first thoughts when you suddenly found yourselves face to face with your soulmate?”
The four of you that now have all the attention riding on your shoulders look to each other for help. Finally, with a racing heart, you answer first.
“I think the obvious answer is that I was shocked,” you smile as knowing chuckles ripple through the room. “But I was also really grateful, because Taehyung was so kind and understanding. The staff were very professional and helped us quickly. Overall, I really can’t imagine it having happened in any other way.”
There’s a few ooh’s and aww’s that greet your ears, but you look down at your lap as you blush. Taehyung slightly nudges your knee with his own, and in that simple movement you feel the comfort that he’s trying to give you. 
“I’d actually been talking to Jiminie earlier about soulmates,” Taehyung pipes up. 
“Oh, yeah! That’s right!” Jimin says, giving his friend a slap on the shoulder. “What are the odds?”
Taehyung flashes a shy smile. “I told him that I felt like I was ready. It can be strangely lonely sometimes, and there are times when I just felt like I was missing something. Now, all I have to do is pick up my phone and my missing piece is on the other side, ready to talk with me.”
Now people are really swooning, you included. You dare to peek over at your soulmate, heart nearly melting when you see that his shy smile is paired with pink cheeks. You wish that you could snuggle up to him right now, but that would definitely not end well. Instead, you lightly nudge his knee with your own, returning the little slice of comfort he provided you earlier. 
“And you two?” Dongyun asks after wiping fake tears away from his eyes. 
Yeonjun chews on his bottom lip, Jiwoo too lost in thought to notice that he has that look again. 
“I, er...” Yeonjun begins, squirming a little in his seat. “I was...really happy.”
Donghyun urges Yeonjun to continue. “Of course you were! What about finding Jiwoo made you so happy?”
Jiwoo looks up in horror, but it’s too late. Yeonjun has already opened his mouth and begun to speak. 
“I was so happy because the first thing she said to me was that she thought I was so hot.”
Radio silence. 
And then-
“Oh-ho!! Yeonjunnie you’re so dead!” Hueningkai laughs, and soon everyone follows suit. Even Donghyun has to throw his hand over his mouth to keep himself from snorting with laughter. 
Jiwoo looks at Yeonjun, who completely avoids her gaze as he stares unblinking at the floor. Then, quietly enough for nobody to hear except for you who sits beside her, she whispers, “Say goodbye to all the perishable items in your fridge.”
In the chaos that ensues, Taehyung discreetly traces circles against your arm and mumbles, “Why didn’t you say that to me when we first met?”
You smack his shoulder. “I should be asking you the same thing!”
Just before everything calms down again, Taehyung leans over to grab the abandoned canvas on the ground. Taking the still-wet paint and dipping his finger into it, he draws something out on it. Nudging you to get your attention, he flashes the canvas for you to see, hiding it from the cameras. 
It’s hard to keep a neutral expression as you see his handiwork. It’s just six words, but they’re enough to have your entire face flushed a moment later. 
I think you’re hotter than Yeonjun ;)
Stifling a laugh, you roll your eyes. “I hope you know I’m keeping that,” you mumble. Taehyung grins.
“Great. We’ll get it framed.”
A few days later, you do. It hangs in the front room of your apartment, for all to see. And for Jiwoo to loathe, as it serves as a constant reminder of her embarrassing first words to her soulmate.
Oh well. In the words of Ari, “Beggars can’t be choosers.”
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ragingbookdragon · 3 years
Text
The Best Of Us
Batfamily x M!Reader
Word Count: 3,035 Warnings: Angst
Author's Note: And here we are with a Batbrother fic! Enjoy! -Thorne
It wasn’t an inferiority complex. Not really. He wasn’t prone to anger or any of the other symptoms listed under it—and he checked. Multiple times. But there was something about being the only non-vigilante in his family of vigilantes that made him feel inadequate compared to the rest. Bruce had the Justice League, Dick and Jason had their own fantastic groups that saved the day, and Tim and Damian were still in school, but even they had their groups too. Hell, even Alfred still had contacts from his days in MI-5. And yet, he had none of the skills his brothers or father had, no extensive martial arts training, master detective skills, or weapon mastery. He was completely normal—or maybe abnormal in this case. And on some level, he resented that he couldn’t be like his family—maybe he did have an inferiority complex.
***
The greatest thing in (Y/N)’s mind about still being allowed to live at home was that no matter what, there was always food around to eat—Alfred saw to it that every growing man in the house had enough to eat—that being said, their grocery bills were outrageouslyexpensive.
He balanced his tablet in one hand, the other hand adjusting the tie around his neck as he stepped into the kitchen, quick to raise the tablet in time to avoid whacking his youngest brother in the head.
“Morning,” he greeted, taking his seat at the table, just after Jason’s. A chorus of tired, ‘mornings’ came back at him and he quirked an eyebrow. “Wow, loving the enthusiasm this morning, guys.”
Jason snorted and propped his chin on his palm, watching (Y/N) for a moment. “I seriously don’t understand how you’re always so chipper in the morning.”
He huffed a laugh and took a sip of the coffee that Alfred set down. “Someone has to be the ray of sunshine in this group of gray clouds.” (Y/N) cast a glance at Dick who was shoveling eggs into his mouth. “And it seems like our eldest is busy feeding his bottomless pit.” Dick was fast to shoot him a glare, that he returned with a smile.
Just then, Tim trudged into the kitchen in an oversized hoodie and plopped down in his seat, immediately shoving the plate in front of him to drop his head onto the table.
“Jesus Christ, you guys,” (Y/N) sighed, flicking at his tablet for a moment. “You’ve seriously gotta take a day off to recuperate.”
“What do you think we do during the day?” Dick retorted, taking a swig of milk.
“Okay I think you’re confusing the entire day with the first half,” he reasoned. “When I say take a day off, I mean the whole twenty-four hours.” He glanced at everyone, and the only person who seemed to not be tired was Alfred, and that’s partly because (Y/N) believed he was immortal. “You guys are gonna run yourselves into the ground,” he said. “I just don’t think—”
“We know what we are doing, (Y/N),” Damian interrupted with a glare. “We know our limits better than you do.”
He let out a sigh and shook his head. This conversation had happened many times before and it wasn’t anything new.
“I’m not saying I know them better than you Damian, I’m simply saying that you guys should take a day to relax so that something doesn’t happen on the job that you can’t control.”
(Y/N) glanced at his father. “Dad, c’mon, you know I’ve got a point.”
Bruce hummed and flipped the page of the newspaper. “So does Damian.” He met (Y/N)’s eyes and nodded. “You don’t have to worry so much, (Y/N). We know what we can handle.”
He stared at Bruce for a moment then scowled. “I don’t even know why I bother,” he muttered, and Damian was fast to chase his comment.
“I don’t know why you bother either. You’ve never once experienced what we do every night.”
(Y/N) met his youngest sibling’s glare. “Just because I don’t stick my neck out for each person in this city night after night doesn’t mean that I don’t know what it’s like to be exhausted.”
Damian crossed his arms over his chest. “So, you know what it’s like to be exhausted from blood loss because you’ve been stabbed or shot? Or to be exhausted from saving the lives of innocent people? You do?”
“I—” (Y/N)’s mouth opened, then he snapped it shut and looked away with a darkened expression, tasting something sour in his mouth. “No, I don’t.”
“That’s what I thought,” Damian finalized, and in the wake of the uncomfortable tension, a cellphone went off.
Everyone started looking for theirs, but (Y/N) muttered, “It’s mine.”
He picked it up and put on a cheerful voice. “Good morning Angela…yes, I just got the floor plan…” he tapped at the screen on his tablet. “Do me a favor and move the people from table eight to table three. Mr. Robinson is better friends with Mrs. Grace and will certainly give us a warmer atmosphere in that area.”
(Y/N) paused and listened, then he stood from the table and pushed his chair in. “Let me get to the office and we can situate the rest of the guests for tonight…alright, see you soon. Bye.”
He pulled the phone from his ear and ended the call, then took the black backpack that Alfred was holding to him. “Thanks Alfred.”
“Of course, Master (Y/N). Have a pleasant day at work.”
He huffed a laugh, but it was anything but amused. “I have to give a speech tonight in front of the entire company and three different magazines.” He glanced at Bruce. “Think you’ll be able to attend tonight? It’d mean a lot to me.” Bruce grunted, his way of telling (Y/N) that he’d try, but to not hope for a miracle.
It was fine, he was used to parentless ceremonies and events. He cleared his throat and shrugged on the backpack, making his way to the garage door.
“See you guys later.”
***
He’d given a few speeches in his short twenty-four years, and while he’d never say he was an expert on public speaking, he did know his way around a podium. That being said, every time he had to do a speech, he felt like vomiting—nerves he chocked it up to.
(Y/N) cast a glance around the packed ballroom, quietly groaning at the massive amount of people. His own table was empty, save for Angela and thank god for him, Lucius. He couldn’t help but frown at the name tags sitting in front of the empty seats.
“Wondering where the rest of the gang is?”
He met Lucius’ eyes and gave a halfhearted smile. “I’d like to think they took my advice and took the night off but…something tells me that the night called to them.” His lips pulled downwards. “I’m not going to act like this is a surprise, Lucius. I couldn’t even get them to show up for my university graduation.”
(Y/N) smiled and stood up, grabbing the notecards beside him. “What makes you think I could get them to show up to this?” He left the table and moved to the side of the stage, waiting for his name to be called. His fingers briefly shifted to his chest, feeling his heart fluttering beneath chest, nerves causing his breathing to come in short bursts. (Y/N) shut his eyes and took a deep breath, letting a pleasant smile cross his face as the presenter called his name, and walked up the steps.
The bright flash of photography momentarily blinded him, but he smiled through it. “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us tonight at the Centennial Inside Alliance Award Ceremony.” He flashed everyone a million-watt smile. “My name is (Y/N) Wayne, and as many of you know, I am a senior editor for Inside Alliance. It is my pleasure tonight to recognize Inside Alliance’s top writer for the year.”
(Y/N) glanced around the room, making sure to catch the eyes of the hundreds of guests.
“Inside Alliance was created on August fourteenth, nineteen-twenty by a group of immigrant mothers and fathers who wanted to bring knowledge of their homes and cultures to the rest of world. Some of those countries being Germany, Romania, Greece, Ireland, Italy, Israel, and many, many others.”
“The production of their valuable time and extensive care created one of the greatest magazines that is still in business today, that brings attention to the worldwide issues that many groups face, while still connecting to their roots of educating the public on cultures and groups.”
He smiled. “It is with my upmost honor that I congratulate and introduce Miss Flora Janaliyeva, one of our newest and greatest writers that has joined Inside Alliance, and the winner of tonight’s Inside Alliance Award.”
(Y/N) turned to the side and grinned at Flora as she ascended the stairs. Her long black hair was braided down the length of her back and she wore a bright and floral-patterned gown. She reached (Y/N) and he reached with his right, shaking her hand, and handed her the glass award with the other.
“Miss Janaliyeva, it is with honor and congratulations that I give you this award for your excellent talent and recognition of ability from Inside Alliance.”
She smiled brightly and accepted the award. “Thank you, Mister Wayne, the honor is mine.” He nodded politely once more and descended the stairs as she began her speech, quietly taking his place back at the table.
“Well done, Mister Wayne,” Lucius smiled and (Y/N) let out a deep breath.
“I’m just surprised I was able to do that without stuttering or panicking.” He glanced over, smile lowering slightly. “Lucius, are you alright?”
The older man dabbed at his forehead and nodded, though when he breathed, it sounded labored. “I’m fine,” he assured, then reached up to rub at his chest.
(Y/N) shifted. “I don’t think you’re alright Lucius.” He leaned over. “Are you having chest pain?”
“I—yes,” he grit out then met (Y/N)’s gaze. “My chest is getting—tight and I…and I—”
He started to slump over and (Y/N) shot to his feet, eyes widening with fear. “Lucius!” The yell startled the crowd and Flora, who all looked over at the two.
(Y/N) pulled the older man back and pressed his ear to his chest, listening. He pulled away and yelled, “Someone call an ambulance! I think he’s having a heart attack!”
He helped Lucius to the floor and immediately pressed his palms to the man’s chest, starting compressions. His breath came in panicked spurts and he kept looking at Lucius’ face.
“Just hand on Lucius. You’re going to be okay.” (Y/N) kept at it until the EMT’s arrived and they knelt beside them.
“Let us take over.”
For a moment, he didn’t move, too afraid that if he did, Lucius would die, but one of the EMT’s placed a hand on his shoulder while the other slide their hands underneath (Y/N)’s.
“Son, we’ll take it from here.”
(Y/N)’s arms went slack, and he let the medic pull him away, watching as they took over and started moving him onto the stretcher.
“Please, save him. He’s—he’s friends with my family I—”
The medic nodded firmly. “We’ll do all we can.”
And all (Y/N) remembered was someone ushering him into a taxi heading for the hospital.
***
The first people that arrived were Lucius’ family who were grateful for (Y/N)’s actions, but the young man could barely grimace as they disappeared into the hospital room, leaving him sitting outside, his head in his hands. Tears gathered in his eyes as he thought back to what the ER doctor told him.
***
“Mister Fox is in a stable condition, but you have to understand, Mister Wayne, his heart is very weak.”
“But—but he’ll be okay right?”
“Based on Mister Fox’s past conditions, he’s verging into heart failure. His heart is too weak to keep up with what the body needs.”
“And…and what does his body need at this point?”
“At this point? A new heart.”
***
He sucked in a breath and fought to keep the sob from escaping his throat, just as heard, “(Y/N)!”
His head shot up and he saw his father and older brothers coming down the hallway. (Y/N) clambered to his feet.
“Dad I—” he started, but cut off as he choked on a sob, and Bruce pulled him into a hug, holding (Y/N) as he sobbed. “I’m sorry,” he cried. “I tried my best but—”
“Shh,” Bruce hushed, a firm, but gentle hand coming to rest at the back of his son’s neck. “You did all that you could.”
He pulled back and wiped his face. “But Lucius needs a new heart, and I don’t know what to do. I should’ve seen this coming. He hasn’t been feeling well the past few weeks and I—”
“(Y/N),” his father said firmly, hands coming to rest on his shoulders. He met Bruce’s eyes. “This wasn’t your fault.”
His libs wobbled and he whispered, “But if I were like you guys, I would’ve seen something earlier. I didn’t and now…” sighing, he added, “and now Lucius needs a new heart, or he’ll die.”
Bruce’s sigh was heavier than (Y/N)’s and it made his chest heavy. “We’ll get Lucius a new heart, (Y/N).”
He lowered his head and lamented, “I’m sorry, dad.”
His father squeezed his shoulder then lead him towards Dick and Jason. “Take (Y/N) back home for the night. I’ll stay here with Lucius’ family.”
They nodded and led their brother down the hall, arms firm across his shoulders in a comforting way. They didn’t say anything, knowing that there wasn’t much to offer, but their support was enough for (Y/N), even if he felt horrible.
***
For being the World’s Greatest Detective, his son was evidently the World Best Hider, because it took Bruce a long time to finally find (Y/N). He stepped quietly over to the form sitting on the ledge and took a seat beside him, silently gazing out at the backyard. A bottle appeared in his vision and he focused on it as the smell of whiskey reached his nose.
“Where’d you get that?” he asked but took the bottle anyway.
“Jason gave it to me earlier.” He watched Bruce take a sip. “Figured it fit the occasion.”
Bruce chuckled. “That sounds like Jason’s way of dealing with a problem.”
They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, passing the bottle back and forth, simply enjoying the calm around the manor and night.
“You know it wasn’t your fault, right?” Bruce suddenly said.
(Y/N) sighed and set the bottle down, kicking his legs out off the roof. “Lucius said he hadn’t been feeling well recently. And I just passed it up to getting older.” He looked at his father. “If I’d actually paid attention, then I would’ve seen the symptoms.”
“Do you actually know what the symptoms of heart failure and heart attack are?”
“I…no, not really.”
“Then you couldn’t’ve known.” He looked at (Y/N). “Lucius works in my office every day. If anyone should’ve known and seen it, it should’ve been me.” Bruce shook his head. “But you did everything you could at the awards ceremony, and that saved Lucius’ life tonight. You did good.”
“I could’ve done better.” (Y/N) muttered. “I should’ve. I’m your son and I’m practically useless to the family but—”
“Woah, woah,” Bruce interrupted, brows furrowing as he asked, “What are you talking about?”
(Y/N) turned to him. “I am the least useful person in this family. I mean you and the guys are these crazy intelligent, vigilante master detectives and I’m just me.” He wiped away a tear that fell from his eye. “I can’t speak seven different languages or solve murder cases with a single strand of DNA left at the scene of a crime. Hell, I can’t even throw a punch.” He sighed heavily. “The last time I tried, I broke my hand.”
Meeting his father’s gaze, he said, “I just want to be like you guys.” He lowered his head. “I just want to be normal and not an outlier in the family.”
Bruce simply stared at him for a long moment, and while he’d never been privy to let his emotions show on his face, he let them this time—shock and shame. Shame that he didn’t see his greatest achievement suffering.
“(Y/N).”
He didn’t look up at first, but then he did. “Yes sir?”
“How long have you felt like this?”
(Y/N) shrugged. “Forever?”
His father sighed. “Son, I…I never wanted you to be like us.”
He gaped at Bruce. “What?”
“(Y/N), every person in this family is driven to do what we do because of our childhoods. You’re the only one who doesn’thave any skeletons in his closet.” He stared at him. “We wish every day that we could be like you and not a day goes by that we don’t think that.”
“I…what?” he floundered, absolutely bewildered at the idea that his father and brothers wanted to be the most boring person ever. “There’s no way that’s true.”
“It is.”
“No.” (Y/N) huffed. “I’m me. I’m plain and boring, work a nine to five job me. I mean I write for a magazine for god sakes! And you guys save the world!”
Bruce chuckled. “And what we wouldn’t give to be just a bit more normal like you, son.” He shrugged. “You think you’re inferior because you’re not a vigilante, but you’re the one thing that keeps us all sane. You give us the perspective of someone who isn’t what we are. Of someone who’s completely normal.”
He reached over and placed a hand on (Y/N)’s shoulder. “And being normal? Being you?” Bruce squeezed firmly. “I don’t want you to be anyone else.”
(Y/N) gazed at him, and though he felt tears in his eyes, he didn’t blink, didn’t let them fall. “I’ve only ever wanted to make you proud.”
Bruce smiled heartfully. “You do, (Y/N). Everyday. Because you’ve always been the best of us.”
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