#being alive is not inherently anything. okay. okay. okay

[rockabell-chime]

oh YES. i will do good. i will add to this place positively. how the hell

...this is the alcohol talking. ugh i hate public speaking

but really. how does one do that. can i do that?

[torgawl]

if you call himmel pathetic i'm throwing hands at you. himmel showed the purest form of love for frieren and you guys think that's pathetic? what's pathetic is not respect other people's feelings or boundaries and acting like people owe you anything just because you like them. himmel was happy to have a friendship with frieren within her own conditions just because he genuinely enjoyed her as part of his life. he was happy to wait for her for his entire life is he had to but he also never stopped living for himself. that's fucking beautiful. loving someone so much you are able to let them go, not wanting to change who they are or impose anything on them? unconditionally, nonetheless? that's the point of life.

[steveyockey]

To be aware you might be trans but unwilling to do anything about it is to create endlessly bigger boxes within which to contain yourself. When you are a child, that box might encompass only yourself and your parents. By the time you are a gainfully employed adult, that box will contain multitudes, and the thought of disrupting it will grow ever more unthinkable. So you cease to think of yourself as a person on some level; you think not of what you want but what everybody expects from you. You do your best not to make waves, and you apologize, if only implicitly, for existing. You stop being real and start being a construct, and eventually, you decide the construct is just who you are, and you swaddle yourself up in it, and maybe you die there. There is still time until there isn’t.

This reading of TV Glow’s deliberately anticlimactic, noncathartic ending cuts against the transition narrative you typically see in movies and TV, in which a trans person self-accepts, transitions, and lives a happier life. Owen gets trapped in a space where he knows what he must do to live an authentic life but simply refuses to take those steps because, well, burying yourself alive is a terrifying thing to do. The transition narrative posits a trans existence as, effectively, a binary switch between “man” and “woman” that gets flipped one way or another, but to make our lives so binary is to miss how trans existences possess an inherent liminality.

Humans’ lives unfold in a constant state of becoming until death, but trans people are uniquely keyed in to what this means thanks to the simple fact of our identities. You can get lost in that liminality, too, forever trapped in a midnight realm of your own making, stuck between what you believe is true (I am a nice man with a good family and a good job, and I love my life) and what you know, deep in your most terrified heart of hearts, is real (I am a girl suffocating in a box).

And yet if you want to read the film as being about the dangerous allure of nostalgia, you’re not wrong. I Saw the TV Glow totally supports that interpretation, too! But in tempting you with that reading, the film creates a trap for cis viewers that will be all too familiar to trans viewers. Somewhere in the middle of Maddy’s story about The Pink Opaque being real, you will make a choice between “This kid has lost it!” and “No. Go with her, Owen,” and in asking you to make that choice, TV Glow is simulating the act of self-accepting a trans identity.

See, the grimmer read of the film’s ending truly is a nihilistic one. It leaves no hope, no potential for growth, no exit. Yet you must actively choose to read that ending as nihilistic. If you are cis and the end of I Saw the TV Glow left you with a gnawing sense of dissatisfaction, a weird but hard-to-pin-down feeling that something had broken, and a melancholy bordering on horror — congratulations, this movie gave you contact-high gender dysphoria.

In an infinite number of possible universes, there is at least one where I am still living “as a man,” embracing my fictionality, avoiding looking at how much more raw and real I feel when I “pretend” to be a woman. I think about that guy sometimes. I hope he’s okay.

Consider, then, my cis reader, that TV Glow is for both you and me, but it is maybe most of all for him. I hope he sees it. I hope he breaks down crying in the bathroom afterward. I hope he, after so many years locked inside himself, hears the promise of more life through the hiss of TV static.

Emily St. James, “I Saw the TV Glow’s Ending Is Full of Hope, If You Want It to Be,” Vulture. June 4, 2024.

[bebsi-cola]

it's okay for your purpose in life is being alive. you don't need to work a job, be in school, have children, or such to have a purpose. you don't need to contribute anything in this life to have a purpose. your purpose can just be being alive. to live. to take up whatever care or resources are necessary to make that happen. nothing has to justify your place on this earth. human lives are not an investment where you have to give back in order to be worth anything. disabled lives are inherently valuable. they are inherently worth time, money, and care into preserving. flourishing even

[trans-androgyne]

For men having a rough time right now, my friends and I have put together a couple reminders:

1) You are not a monster. Nothing in your nature predisposes you towards violence. Your presence does not harm others and there are people who love having you in their space. Yes including around women. Yes including around children. You are not inherently dangerous, you are a person just like everyone else. Your body is not a weapon.

2) You don’t have anything to prove. You don’t have to be strong. You don’t have to serve and protect others if you don’t want to. Even women. You don’t deserve to be treated as a punching bag for others’ anger or trauma at the hands of the patriarchy, and it’s not okay for them to take it out on you. You deserve to be protected too.

3) Your emotions matter. All of your emotions. Your anger isn’t dangerous. You can be sad and hurt and jealous and guilty and a million other things and express them in whatever way you need, all without being less of a man or more of a threat. Women’s needs and emotions are equal to yours, not more important. You’re allowed to talk about sexism and other issues you experience as a man—it doesn’t make you anti-feminist and it sure as hell doesn’t make you weak. Being mistreated can hurt, and you can let yourself feel and process it.

4) Manhood can be wonderful—make it your own. You don’t have to be masculine if you don’t want to. You can present and act however femininely you want without being any less of a man. You can also be the most masculine person alive. Masculinity is not toxic by itself. Being masculine does not make you toxic. Being a man does not make you toxic. Nothing about you is inherently toxic. Your attraction is not immoral and being attracted to you isn’t either. Manhood is not a contagion. Be whatever kind of man you want to be, it is completely up to you.

There are people who love and care about you. I care about you deeply and as an intersectional trans feminist I will advocate for you until my last breath. This goes for every single man alive. Cis men, trans men, intersex men, multigender men, straight men, queer men, White men, men of color, disabled men, and more; every single one of you. You deserve care. Let us care for you.

[theminecraftbee]

sigh okay this year i have actual mob vote opinions. disclaimer: my MAIN opinion is that if i see too much mob vote salt on my dash i'll just block the relevant terms again, and that all three mobs are adorable and i'd like any of them. however, my vague thoughts on them:

crab: i have inherent vault hunters-based crab grudges. the coconut crab appears in my nightmares. however, past that, the crab as an animal is fun, i like crabs alright. the fact it's shown crawling up trees sideways is neat. i'll say mangrove forests are ALREADY one of the loveliest, most alive-feeling biomes, so i don't know if they need an exclusive mob? but it's also realistic for the crab so i'll take it. when it comes to the crab claw itself... many questions. is it an off-hand item? or like create's extendo-reach thing? or what? how MUCH additional reach does it give you? even just two blocks can be wildly useful in my modded experience, but like, is it one or two blocks, or does it double your reach, or what? and does that reach extend to mining at all? the video says it's just block placing, which would make sense from a balance perspective, but does sort of hamstring the claw's usefulness if that's the case; if you misplace a block you're going to have to scaffold over there anyway. if it DOES include mining reach... oh boy, that's a whole new ballgame.

armadillo: cute! i like armadillos! seeing it curled up as a ball, i wonder if it has a block-like form like that? that sounds really fun! like a shulker, or something else you could stand on. (that is PURE speculation, nothing else to suggest that is shown in the video.) it being found in "warm biomes like the savannah" i like more than the mangrove-exclusive crab, especially since the savannah can feel a little sparse and lifeless. i wonder if it's in other warm biomes? as for its effect, it has the most straightforward one: when it gets scared it sheds its scute, and you can use that to make wolf armor. i like wolf armor! wolves have needed some way to make them more survivable for ages! it's not like, got potential to be a massive gamechanger or anything, but it doesn't have to, it's fun!

penguins: by FAR the cutest design. i love that they chose macaroni penguins, excellent choice. the fact they're native to stony shore biomes is also an excellent choice (and far better than choosing a snowy biome; more penguins live in places like the stony shore irl!). the stony shore having penguins also gives it a bit more of the life stony shorelines have irl. their secondary effect, though... honestly, "make boats go faster" doesn't really speak to me? i am enjoying imagining a world where this effect works while iceboating (prepare to rubberband ALL OVER THE PLACE), and i think it would be fun, it just personally compels me the least. which is a shame, because i think the penguins are ABSOLUTELY the cutest!

overall, i think i land towards the armadillo. i like that none of them really have any big, exciting, game changing feature, just nice-to-have. makes it feel less like we miss out on something huge when two of them lose, just miss out on something potentially cute. i still wish the old mob votes could still be added to the game and that the losers here would also be added to the game. i wouldn't be mad if any of these guys won honestly they're all cute and have mildly interesting effects.

and this will be the last time i discuss the mob vote, except maybe to reblog cute art.

[fallenhunnyapple]

After getting a bunch of questions from @ilikelookingatthings, its time to compile some more info about this AU! So here we are~ I might be rehashing some things said before for clarity and expanding on ideas

(the words are from Rule #34 by Fish in a Birdcage because it makes me insane and suits this AU a lot)

So let's break this down into separate parts.

Adam's Sexuality:

Adam is a closeted Gay man. This is something he's always been, but his pride and the enforcement of the Angels kept him from ever really pursuing anything while he was In Heaven. Lucifer was his first love and that memory is so deeply embedded into his heart that even without his memories, he still Feels the affection and attraction.

He doesn't have memories of the formative experiences that made him struggle in Eden and Heaven, but the internalize homophobia isn't going anywhere, and being the priest of a small town, he's faced with Homophobia often enough that he'll never feel safe being Out. Feeling attraction towards male constituents instead of the female ones made his sexuality very clear to him, even though he knew that if he were to feel any attraction it /should/ be towards women.

So meeting Lucifer and being faced with his ancient love, feeling unjudged by the one he's attracted to (Lucifer mentioned offhandedly early on that he's bisexual), of course he's still conflicted because this is Literally Temptation by the Devil himself, but he finds himself unable to repress everything when Lucifer is being so open and making him feel its Okay. Sure, its still to the Devil's own ends, but that doesn't make it any less supportive.

Adam's Ultimate Fate:

Adam is ending up in Hell. Whatever else happens while he's alive, there is no escaping that fact. Being in a sexual relationship with the Devil Himself is more than enough for eternal damnation. If it had been with a human, things may have been different, or they may not. He's Meant to stay celibate for this test, which incidentally goes against the very purpose of his creation, still etched into his soul despite not having the memories. And that in itself makes him more susceptible to being offered What he wants with Who he wants.

Lucifer makes it very clear to him at some point in the future that he wants him in Hell. Not as a way to spite Heaven, but because he wants _Him_, _Adam_ in Hell with him. And for the Years they have together, because Adam isn't being rushed to his grave or anything, he's allowed to live his full life, Lucifer will gladly push Adam further and further into Sin to ensure he'll come home to him in the end. Thwarting Heaven's plan is only secondary now.

Adam's Connection with the Divine:

The point of this test is to prove that Adam can be a Good Enough Person to make it to Heaven. The Angels are completely Hands Off. They're not meant to make him More than a Mere Human and interfering or speaking to him would potentially prophetize him and that defeats the Purpose. And once Lucifer gets involved, fighting over Adam's soul would make too much of a mess of things. They just have to hope that Adam makes correct choices and that ultimately, he does enough good to outweigh the bad and still ascends when the time comes.

Lucifer of course wouldn't be so keen on the idea. He probably knows that Heaven is Watching, but he would still do what he can to hide things from them. Adam is His now, he's decided, and he won't let them take him away.

Adam's Faith:

When Adam was dropped into the human world without his memories, he was more or less deposited outside a church so a priest took him in. He was late teens at that point, so he wasn't exactly Raised, but he was very influenced when the Church helped him when he was at his lowest and most vulnerable point. And he inherently had Faith because despite not having memories, he can still Feel it in his Soul that Heaven and the tales of the Bible are Real. So entering the Faith only made sense. Also as sort of a way to repay the Church for taking care of him when he needed it most.

He didn't really bother pursuing other interests or possibilities because he's fairly limited while living out of a Church, so it just makes sense to stick with what he was given instead of having to build up from Nothing.

Adam and Lucifer:

Lucifer goes into this whole thing with the plan to make Adam Sin enough to be condemned and disrupt Heaven's plans. It shifted from random impersonal sins to wanting to make Adam Sin with Him specifically when he noticed the now-human man Clearly had some feelings for him.

The thing is, Adam is at Such a base state, he's not all too different from how he was in Eden. Not exactly, of course, there are a lot of different factors. But there's still a sort of childish playfulness and naivete that is Endearing. Lucifer was Fond of Adam then and he finds himself becoming Fond of him now. Sure he's not going to jump into and real deep feelings or anything immediately, but its not /impossible/.

Lucifer doesn't hide the fact that he's The Devil for Long. Adam figures out very quickly that he's a demon and Lucifer never disputes that, letting him believe it for a time. But he doesn't lie about his name and he doesn't lie about his status. When Adam asks the right questions, he learns who exactly he's dealing with. Which would explain why he was able to walk on hallowed ground and why he could spray him with holy water from a super soaker and the most it did was tingle and sizzle a little bit.

Maybe there is some sort of Merit to Adam 'distracting the devil' as it were, but in reality, Lucifer wasn't actually... Doing anything or tempting anybody. Other demons use his name, but he personally doesn't want to deal with More Sinners in Hell, he already doesn't want to deal with the amount that's there, why would he try to tempt more? Adam is a special case because its at first to piss off Heaven and then because he genuinely just wants Adam to be by his side when he dies.

Adam will one day have his feelings reciprocated because Lucifer is a sap like that. And Lucifer will give Adam some of the first genuine affection he's ever had in his life, which only makes him fall harder. But they have plenty of time to figure themselves out.

Lucifer:

It started as a way to get back at Heaven, truly. But it didn't take long for his goals to change. Less about condemning this Holy Man and more about Keeping Adam by his side. He does spend a lot of time on Earth because of this. Which is very new to him. He hadn't really been to Earth before this, but the scope of hos exploration is very small, so he mostly just sticks to following Adam around and being a nuisance.

He doesn't spend _all_ his time on Earth, he's still in Hell. But he was rather isolated there, barely taking care of his own duties as King as it was, so his absence isn't really noticed all too much except for the people who Know what he's up to. Which basically amounts to Asmodeus and his publicist (an OC I have that's more or less a constant in every universe who has to deal with Lucifer's public image good and bad).

Charlie and Lilith are not really on his radar. Sure he misses them both, but neither of them are actively in his life at that point, so his energy and mind are focused on Adam instead.

Adam's loneliness:

While his loneliness is certainly pronounced in the way he doesn't really have friends or true connections at the Church he lives and works at, it something much deeper than that. Adam has Always been isolated. Heaven was very isolating for him in ways he wouldn't know or think to express.

Adam was the first Human Soul in Heaven, but he wasn't Quite a Winner either. He was something More. He's in a position between the two that meanst he inherently felt Othered by both. That, plus his behavior and attitude made it incredibly difficult to make any real connections on Heaven. The closest was with his Exorcists, who respected and cared for him still as a superior so it never really went beyond that. Even Lute was still subordinate to him, even though he treated her most as his equal. But ultimately he was very lonely.

So that loneliness pervades into his Human life. He doesn't know how to connect with people, not really. And again, being in a position of authority over others makes him feel isolated again. He's the only priest at his church, so he doesn't have someone of his same rank to connect with either. And he's never had parents or siblings or any of those built-in relationships that teach you how to connect to people. He's a grown man who has always had to start from scratch.

And that makes it all the easier to fall into it when Lucifer offers him companionship. Not even sexual but just... Someone willing to talk with him and be silly and hang out.

[starswhisperwritershear]

Okay, so I know I'm like 20 years late, but I just finished watching Danny Phantom for the first time since I was a kid and I have a lot to say. (Most of it's been said already in the posts I've seen here.) But the thing I really want more than anything, is a reboot where they're in senior year instead and it's not tv-y7 where the darker themes they mention in passing can be thoroughly explored because can you imagine if they did it right?! (I mean the show is great and so so unique but the potential it had to be better!)

Like senior year going into college, the exestienal dread of having to figure out what you want to do with your life and then dying but not and now having to protect the ones you love from ghosts while making sure you finish with a high enough GPA to get into college cause you're from a family of geniuses and you're expected to but now not knowing if you even can because of the accident and the role you now have to play and watching all your peers get to have that choice and you can't even figure whats going on with your body and it's horrifying and ghosts are (actually) scary as shit (cause it's horror now not comedy) and no one around you really gets it and you learn your friends kind of suck but they're all you have and oh you have a whole realm of enemies who never really stop hunting you for sport on top of the guy who wants to fuck your mom and makes it everybody's business and oh yeah, you're kind of dead!

Oh yeah and the concept of how ghosts become ghosts and the sad truth that Danny's not fighting inherently evil beings but people who died including one five year old! And the fact that his parents would quite literally gut him alive if they caught him. That horror is brushed aside way too much in canon. And then when his parents find out in the two season finales that they do they just "oh Danny you should have told us you know we love you no matter what" like uh you just said if you ever caught his putrid, evil, ectoplasm being that you would rip him apart molecule by molecule but sure, let's pretend the son that you ignore more than speak too and literally couldn't tell that he'd been replaced by a robot that he would have been okay telling you that your ignorance and lack of safety protocol killed him and turned him into the very thing you hate.

Like, please, it would be so good.

[pagannatural]

1.22

Devil’s Trap

-Dean walks away from Meg and Sam is like “are you okay?” It’s just so cute how Sam shows his care for Dean by paying close attention to him like this

-Dean says he always wanted to be a fireman when he grew up and Sam goes “you never told me that!” in this cute little brother way like he can’t believe Dean would keep something like that from him.

I feel like we as a society (by which I mean the wincest posts that show up on my dash) moved on too quickly from fireman Dean. Dean would be a fantastic fucking fireman. He could put “rescued my perfect sweet-eyed baby brother from three burning buildings” on his resume. He really sees no value in anything that he can’t relate back to Sam, does he?

-The first time Dean knowingly kills someone it’s to save Sam. A love that corrupts etc

Images that feel both illegal and religious

The way Sam melts into Dean completely, mouth open, eyes shut.

Sam says softly “you saved my life back there” which is inherently romantic. Dean tells Sam “For you or dad the things I’m willing to do or kill…it scares me sometimes.” His love for Sam scares him sometimes. Dean also saved Sam in spite of his dad’s disapproval of him using the Colt.

-Dean to possessed John: “He wouldn’t be proud of me… you’re not my dad.” Yikes, condolences. Poor Dean

-Sam walks into the room to find Dean aiming the colt at John and goes “Dean!” right as Dean tells him to stay back. I have a feeling if it had been John aiming a gun at Dean, Sam still would’ve gone “Dean!” and Dean would’ve told him to stay back, and if it were either of them aiming a gun at Sam, Sam still would’ve gone “Dean!” and Dean would’ve told him to stay back. If something’s not right Sam’s gonna yell “Dean!” and Dean’s gonna tell Sam to stay back.

Dean tells Sam John is possessed.

Sam asks how do you know, because Sam likes to be informed, and Dean just says “he’s different.”

That’s enough for Sam. He GETS BEHIND DEAN. This is the underrated samdean moment of all time for me. He doesn’t even hesitate. He tested John with holy water himself, but he knows that Dean knows John well, and he trusts Dean. He said last episode that Dean is the one person he can always count on. And he doesn’t just go to his side, he stands close behind him so that Dean can protect him.

-The demon taunts Dean by saying his family doesn’t need him

and the camera cuts to Sam who’s like. He doesn’t think I need him? 🥺

-Sam shoots their possessed dad in the thigh and immediately runs to kneel by Dean and worry over him. Dean asks Sam to go check on John, and Sam makes a face like What the fuck? I’m busy checking on you

Sam complies and stands over John to check on him. It’s just so different from his concern for Dean. Like, that’s his dad that he just maimed, lying on the floor not moving, and 110% of Sam’s concern is directed at Dean. It’s not a competition, but if it were, Dean would win.

-John tells Sam “shoot me” but Dean tells him not to, so of course he listens to Dean.

John is disappointed in Sam because “killing this demon comes first. Before me, before everything.” Sam looks at Dean in the rearview mirror and says “no sir, not before everything.” John is the one that Sam chose not to kill when he had the chance to kill the demon, and yet it’s Dean he’s thinking about when John says this. Nothing comes before Dean. A big part of Sam’s choice not to shoot when his dad was possessed was not being able to hurt Dean like that, knowing that Dean would rather have John alive than the demon dead. I honestly think he would’ve pulled the trigger if Dean told him to.

It’s a beautiful resolution to their fight last episode when Dean told Sam that he is more important to him than killing the demon. They’re explicitly each other’s top priorities by this last scene.

[opashoo]

You have an Artificer AU where they DON'T get redeemed? Tell me more, I'm all ears.

Well, I don't want to say too much because I want to tell these stories eventually once I start my AU askblog, but this specific part of Artificer's story is going to be covered pretty early on in the overarching plot.

The AU's basic premise is this: Blizzards have overtaken the land and all of the slugcats live in shelter in Undergrowth, run by Saint who maintains a garden. No single slugcat is the central focus except perhaps Saint, but the first storyline is going to revolve around Artificer.

An unconscious Artificer is actually the last slugcat that Saint brings into the shelter for unknown reason, and while everyone is more or less willing to allow it because they respect Saint's decision, it is a unanimously unpopular decisions. Arti's reputation is known and the shelter relies on scavengers caravans for materials that the shelter can't produce on its own, and no one wants to risk the potential fallout of harboring a mass murderer and enemy of the scavengers. The cirumstances of Artificer's backstory are different in my AU and are tied much more heavily to scavenger society, but these facts remain.

Once Artificer's awake, the other slugcats try to make peace in different ways for the sake of coexisting, from tenuously telling her "It's okay" to trying to assuage her guilt to avoiding the subject of her past entirely. Aside from Saint, who remains mysterious and aloof, Hunter is the only slugcat willing to tell her to her face "I know what you've done and I don't trust you. The only reason I haven't thrown you to the blizzard is because I respect Saint." Artificer ironically ends up gravitating towards her because of this, despite how much the two argue and legitimately hate each other at the start.

Eventually everyone learns to get along; I'm not interested in punishing Artificer narratively, but one of my primary goals with my story is to shift the usual framing around Artificer "redemption". One of the big points I want to emphasize is that there is nothing Arti can do can ever 'undo' all the pain and death she's caused. No one but her victims can give her forgiveness. At the same time, punitive justice doesn't actually accomplish anything meaningful in this scenario; it doesn't do anything to prevent further harm if Artificer has already stopped, and it doesn't materially benefit her victims. It just satisfies a sense of justice that isn't rooted in the material world.

Saint's decision to allow her into the shelter protects her from being thrown back out to die in the blizzard by the other slugcats. Isolated in the shelter and marked as an enemy of the scavengers, there's no way for her to meaningfully reconnect with scavenger society (for better or for worse). Despite their very contentious relationship, Hunter is the one to tell her that there's no point in dying or wallowing, but there's no "redemption" either. So what else is there to do but keep on living and try to do better?

Anyway yeah, that's Artificer's place in my AU. Yeah she gets to live with all the other slugcats and go on fun adventure, but my goal is expressly to move the narrative away from both punitive justice as an inherent moral option and the idea that someone needs or even necessarily can achieve "redemption", if redemption even exists beyond an arbitrary binary designation. I prefer something much more neutral and pragmatic: You're alive, so keep on living. At least while you're alive you have to opportunity to do good.

[onehundredandeleventropicalfish]

i see a lot of opinions around, about death, and why she didn't intervene in dream's imprisonment

and i think a lot of people have trouble reconciling the idea that she does care about him, with the fact that she didn't do anything?

so then you get the theories that she couldn't have saved him (as if burgess was ever a match for the endless, he only got dream because dream was still recovering from burning out 99% of his power in overture), or that she was stuck by the rules of the endless not interfering with each other (that's a whole other convoluted discussion topic)

but i feel like these theories all kinda. misread, who death is. or rather, they sort of assume she's a human being with the same mentality as a human, and not the literal personification of death

of course she cares about her brother. and of course she technically had the power to intervene. but think about her existence. think about the way in which she knows everyone, the life she's lived for billions of years, and the life she knows she'll live until she's the last consciousness left in the universe

she's an inherently passive entity, she has to be. because her entire purpose is to stand there for the end of every life in existence, often horrific and violent and unfair ones, and to tell them that's just the way of things. to ensure that that fate does indeed come to pass. she knows how everyone is going to die and she just has to keep talking to them like she doesn't

when she was younger, it was different. granted, she refused to help dream then too, because (at least according to dream) all the endless were incredibly prideful when they were young, and wouldn't even have tried to help each other. but also, we have her word that at one point her job got overwhelming. the fact that she had to stand by and watch so much tragedy, to ensure it happened, really got to her. and for a while, she stopped. one of the few times if not the only time she has ever made a strong decision in the face of fate - she stopped collecting souls. and that turned out much worse. in order to exist as herself, she had to find a way to not only be okay with who she is, but find meaning in it. the person who would get involved, who would stand up against unfairness, that person cannot be death of the endless

and think about death as a concept, for a sec, not just as a person. death is patient. death will come for everyone in time, but time is meaningless to it. i like this panel, from endless nights, for connecting that with death the person, because she is always there and always waiting (in this story she waits here for anywhere between 10 and 200 years, depending on how you look at it. and she explains in this story that time doesn't really work the same to her as it does to everyone else. time is her father, after all. she can wait. she will always wait.)

even when she takes human form, like we see in high cost of living, she is the epitome of go with the flow. she just follows where the universe takes her, doesn't try to change anything, just lets her curiosity and love for humanity put her in whatever situation fate decided she should be. and fate (whether that's her brother, the fates, or something else entirely) does play some role in it, because her human form was created with $10.02 in her pocket, which is the exact amount of money she ended up needing to spend that day. and she trusts that she won't need more than that, no matter how many questions are thrown at her about it

which is not an inherently bad thing! because living in the moment means she is so much more alive than her siblings, it gives her the ability to offer so much more empathy towards the mortals she has to spend most of her time with, it makes her in many ways a wonderful person. she's just, not a person of action

death doesn't show she cares by stopping the bad things from happening to you. she shows she cares by being there for you after. by having the patience, despite her busy job, to sit and chat with every single person who's ever lived, and to comfort them in the best way she knows how

which is exactly what she did

[gabessquishytum]

Pregnant Dream is on the run from Mobster!Hob.

It's not that Dream doesn't love Hob; it's not that Dream is concerned that Hob would be a bad father (Hob will be a wonderful father!); it's not even the violence inherent in mob life - Dream will would make a fantastic queen of the city. It's that Hob lied about it.

Lied about being a mobster, lied about being in the business -- lied to and didn't trust Dream with the whole of him! Claiming to want to keep Dream safe. How exactly Dream could be safe in a world of blood and guns and ignorance, Dream didn't give Hob a chance to explain.

The only reason Dream even knows....found out, was someone tried to murder Hob right in front of him. The bullet hit Hob's shoulder and Dream didn't even know if Hob was alive for hours, as the bodyguards shoved him into a car --- speeding him away from Hob!

Listen, Dream knows he will forgive Hob. He knows it. Hob is the love of his life and the father of his child. But Dream had to run and Hob will find him.

Dream is Hob equal. He refuses anything less. So he will keep himself and their baby safe, through any means necessary - someone did just try to kill Hob. And Dream took guns and ammo when he hotwired the junker and left.

Hob knows he screwed up. He would have been happier if his pregnant fiancé punched him in the face or something, instead of leaving the safety of the compound, but Hob is mostly sure that Dream can protect both himself and their little one. Hob just has to get to them before the assassins. And have a good groveling speech ready so Dream doesn't shoot him in the other shoulder.

Pregnant bamf Dream is amazing. I'm obsessed with the image of him with one hand on his gun and the other on his belly. Just looking at Hob with the most disappointed, apathetic expression on his face.

Okay, in fairness, Dream should have clued in to the whole mafia thing. The secure compound, the strange men coming in and out, the safe full of wads and wads of cash... but he figured that Hob was maybe working on his own criminal ventures. Not as part of the mob. Maybe he's hormonal or whatever, but he's mad that Hob didn't trust him, especially when he's bringing their child into this world!

Hob just wants his fiance back, to be honest. He's broken out of the hospital and ditched his bodyguards, and his shoulder still hurts but he's driving out into the middle of nowhere. He's got an idea of where Dream would go, to the cabin where he and his siblings used to stay on vacation. It's a good guess. Hob can tell when he pulls up that Dream has boobytrapped the whole place.

Well, Hob will just have to wait for Dream to hear him out. He kneels down in the dirt and calls out for his fiance, and he... waits. Patiently. Until Dream comes onto the porch. One hand supporting his belly, the other resting confidently on his gun.

Hob realises that he's going to have to say a lot more than sorry. He's going to have to beg. But hey, he can beg. He can plead. He'll kiss Dream’s dirty boots if he has to. Hob might be on the way to being king of the city, but there's one person he doesn't rule over.

Dream is going to rather enjoy this.

[milogreer]

the thing about morgan and obscura is that i want obscura to feel like the most treasured person on earth and i know he would treat them that way. because for all that morgan is guiding them through learning how to live with their sight, obscura is the one leading the dance - they choose the time/place, they set the pace, and he meets them exactly where they're comfortable. a real slow burn with them would be so rewarding and i want it so badlyyy

i've talked before about the intimacy of "time is a song" and i am not an essay writer, i am a rambler, so if this is repeating points from that post, that's life! i just wanna talk about them again, more so this time in the context of "consulting with a seer" and how morgan sets the tone for their following relationship right off the bat

You don’t have to answer any of my questions, you don’t have to ask any of your own, this meeting is what you want it to be. But—you’re the one who reached out to the Department. Not the other way around. Clearly you wanted… something. No one’s keeping you here, you can leave at any time, you can tell the Department to go kick rocks and never speak to them again. But you’re the one who asked to meet with another Seer. And now you’re saying… nothing. Is it me? The Department asked that I be the one to speak with you given that we’re the only two Seer Obscura in existence right now, but if anything about me personally is offputting, I’ll gladly ask that a different Seer be the one to help you. Getting you whatever support you’re looking for is the only goal of all this. If someone else would do that better, then that’s what I want for you.

the consistent reassurance that obscura can dip whenever they want to. like from minute one his top priority is making sure they're as comfortable as possible because he knows the anxiety that comes with being a seer obscura

To be Obscura is incredibly rare. To be a Seer Obscura is unheard of. The chance of you or I existing at all is infinitesimal. The chance of us existing at the same time is unfathomable. But we're here.

it's hard to even find the words for how this makes me feel LMFAO it's .... it's the inherent soulmateism of being the only two people alive experiencing the same thing. and the fact that it involves someone who maybe not even necessarily believes in "fate" if i'm understanding ?? like he hates the term "Known Outcome" because he doesn't believe the future is fixed and totally knowable, but he acknowledges how insane it is that they've been brought together despite the chance of it being literally unheard of. ykwim. am i talking nonsense

You and I have a unique circumstance that we face. One that no one else can really understand. [...] It’s just you and me. That said, nothing about that fact is an obligation. Being the only two Seer Obscura doesn’t mean we need to be friends, or even have a relationship at all. It’s your life to live as you choose. If you want guidance, understanding of a shared experience, maybe even friendship eventually from me… then I would like to get to know you. To help you where I can. But if you don’t want those things, if you came here for an answer, and you got it, and you want to go back to what you know, I completely understand. You don’t owe anyone anything by virtue of being who you are.

and back to the gentle insistence that nothing is expected of them - if obscura wants to turn and run, pretend this never happened and continue suppressing their sight, they can. it's entirely their choice. but he's also giving them the reassurance that they aren't alone if they don't want to be.

like. i think what really gets me about all of this is that it's so genuinely selfless of him? because imagine meeting the one person who could truly understand you on a level no one else ever will, someone who by all accounts should not even exist in the same space as you, and then completely sincerely telling them that if they have no interest in sticking around, that's okay. you know? like i imagine the majority of us would at least try convincing them to stay. but he doesn't. he puts all the cards in their hands and lets them choose how to proceed, and he doesn't hound them when they vanish for a while after this meeting. everything happens on obscura's time; there's no pushing them towards anything they don't want

i think obscura is ... fragile, perhaps? and i think they need careful hands and a patient heart and morgan could be everything they need. i want them falling asleep on his couch after a late night talking and i want him to gaze at them fondly before putting a blanket over them. i want brief hand touches when they pass him something and to hear his breath catch in his throat at the contact. i want more instances of that tense pause before "...i want to know you." i want him to make silly jokes just to make them laugh and then to get starry-eyed when it works, and when they try to cover their mouth to hide their smile, i want him to tell them they have a beautiful smile (without telling them not to hide it). i want them to almost kiss but be interrupted by someone's phone going off or otherwise interrupted so they turn away, flushed and awkward, and they don't talk about it again. i want them to kiss in the rain, soaked and shivering but not caring about anything but the way they feel on each other.

sigh. where the hell was i going with this. i don't know. i just think they have so much potential for a life changing slow burn. i cannot believe they make me feel so strongly when they've only had three audios

[bucklway]

AUs where Adam drops Scott after surviving the bathroom/meeting Lawrence because he gains self respect, are so interesting to me because I feel like I got an entirely different read on Adam’s character..

I do not think Lawrence would be an upgrade from Scott.. “Adam needed his calm & collected doctor no matter how badly Lawrence had treated him”..

Their relationship to one another is inherently unhealthy, Adam is dependent on Lawrence to survive. Stalking Lawrence is what puts food on Adam’s table, he needs to work with him to solve the puzzle’s, He needs him to save him, he needs to be comforted by him after being shot. “Lawrence, I need you!”

Presumably, Adam is only still friends with Scott because he has zero respect for himself & thinks he deserves to be abused. Im order for Adam to gain the strength to cut Scott off, he would need to gain self respect and Lawrence is not going to give that to him. Lawrence is older, wealthier, more successful, he has a family.. Adam is just not going to feel good about himself around a man like that. The only thing the bathroom trap really changed was making Adam realize that he actually wants to be alive, I wouldn’t say the trap did anything for his self respect, in fact. it tore him down.

In Adam’s tape, John literally called him “angry, yet apathetic, but mostly just pathetic.” It is not a secret that Adam is just a pawn in Lawrence’s game, he canonically doesn’t matter.

At the end of the game, Zepp would’ve come to free Adam, but his tendency to latch onto people who hurt him, pushes him to murder Zepp. He saves Lawrence, the man who had shot him with (possible) intent to kill, literally 5 seconds ago! Lawrence is everything Adam thinks he deserves, but he doesn’t.. When a man he barely knows tries to kill him, he is not scared, he doesn’t hold it against him, he’s desperate for him. For his touch, his comfort. He holds him tight & begs him to stay. “Don’t leave me!” He needs Lawrence. But Lawrence doesn’t need him.

Lawrence promises Adam he’ll get help, that they’re both gonna be okay.. but Adam rots in that bathroom, with the memory of that empty promise. In the end, he’s finished off by a woman he once tried to show empathy & compassion to. It always ends up like this, Adam is doomed to be hurt by the people in his life.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Can we please get more of canonish Killer & Nightmare in fanfics? Fanon is okay but it’s so overdone and kinda boring now.

Fanon Killermare rarely has anything interesting done about it. The dynamic is just “tsundere Boss Nightmare” and “simp Killer.” Killer never feels like his own character, just there to simp (and I suspect Nightmare simps just use him as a sorta self insert so they can simp for Nightmare through him or something).

Only Nightmare’s trauma is actually acknowledged and never Killer’s. Nor how Nightmare plays a role in it.

The power dynamics inherently baked into their relationship is ignored. And if not ignored, it’s romanticized.

Like, no it is not a good thing that Nightmare falls “in love” with a man who’s soul he can use to physically, mentally, and emotionally control whenever and however he pleases. No Killer will not appreciate that.

No Killer does not like being under Nightmare especially after he worked so hard to get out from under Chara. Nightmare Is Not His King.

Like, can we please acknowledge in fanfics how Nightmare literally took away Killer’s choice to live or not? Can we acknowledge in fanfics how Killer, up until meeting Color, is only alive because Nightmare is forcing him to be?

Can we acknowledge how hopeless he feels under Nightmare? And how Nightmare knows this and doesn’t care?

Can we acknowledge how a part of Killer—stage 1—does not want to be with Nightmare, let alone want to be alive?

I don’t want Killer being in love with Nightmare first. I want Nightmare falling in love with Killer, and Killer not being able to trust that at all.

I want Stage 1 fearing that he’s trying to manipulate him. I want Stage 1 spending this whole “courtship” in disbelief because he legitimately can’t tell if it’s real or not.

I want it to be acknowledged that Nightmare forcing Killer into Stage 2 & staying in it isn’t gonna give him what he wants and will only subconsciously push him further away.

I want Nightmare working to fix himself and his mistakes and actually make it up to Killer. Even if that includes letting Killer go.

Killer deserves to be the one treated with love and care in the Killermare ship for once. He shouldn’t have to be the one who always puts in the work.

Nightmare needs to earn Killer’s loyalty. Not just take it and force it however and whenever he wants.

—-

I’m aware that my version is still toxic, but it doesn’t even have to be something like this. I just want Killer to be his own complex character in fanon Killermare the way Nightmare is allowed to be.

Not only is fanon Killermare boring and repetitive, it never acknowledges Killer as his own person. It never acknowledges his backstory or how he was created, nor his emotionlessness.

Nightmare is allowed to not know what a healthy romantic relationship is, but Killer is somehow expected to know these things even though he spent years being tortured until he broke and was created into something new—and that new something was used to kill people—his friends and family—for years and years?

Stop pretending Nightmare is Killer’s King. He isn’t nor would Killer ever accept him as that. He worked so hard to gain some autonomy over his existence and y’all want to shove him under Nightmare and pretend like he’ll willingly accept it? Why is Killer never allowed to explore his existence and found out who he is as a person?

It’s just simp, simp, simp, loyal, loyal, flirt, flirt, with y’all.

No hate on those who ship this, but fanon Killermare can be a lot more than what it is now and I hate that it isn’t.

[batboyblog]

Oh this isn’t an anti Biden thing more so I’m just pointing out that I think in this case some people are definitely more culpable then others, I feel like otherwise we fall into that idea that humans are the problem inherently which reeks of “original sin”

Like, the fact we don’t have more public transport is due to lobbying from the automotive industry, we aren’t often given options outside of fossil fuel because those who house real power rarely want to change things, which is why things like democracy exist but once you’re in power it becomes a lot easier to feed propaganda, it’s admittedly still more complex then some people treat it but it’s still not a “everyone is equally responsible” thing,

I kind of see it like being Sandra Bullock in Speed, should the terrorist who strapped a bomb onto the bus go to jail? yeah of course, but maybe we focus on getting off the bus alive first?

so like that the conversation of who's most responsible just doesn't interest me as much as "okay but how do we fix it?" and I think the conversation of responsibility often times distracts or demotivates from the conversation of fixing it, I think its very very easy to go from "I didn't cause this" to "I can't effect this" and from "Its not my fault" to "why should I do anything about it?"

and like if the CEO of Exxon goes to jail for this or that I'll raise a glass and be happy for a day because yeah they are bad people and yes in many cases they knowingly did things to make climate change worse because it would help stock prices in the next quarter or whatever. But its like not the conversation I want to be having most of the time, I'm less interested in who's fault it is and more on what do we do to fix it and I feel like there are a lot of people for whom the reverse is true their focus is much more on "who's fault" and much less on "how do we fix it"

I remember there's an episode of Queer Eye, where the person they're making over is a young climate activist with Sunrise Movement. And normally the 5 drive in a huge SUV but for this they all hopped on bikes and biked to her house and they explained this all pleased and she was like "oh you didn't need to do that, what normal people do doesn't really matter because climate change is just 10 companies" I'm not going back to get her word for word but that was the thrust, and that's really stuck with me that this girl had a chance to talk to millions of people and ask them to change their day to day behaviors and she dismissed the idea that even collectively any one could do anything.