#bluh. fucked up. i think i just feel fucked up.

[thegempage]

i Want to draw but i have a feeling i could Maybe play a game and i'm. hmm.

[watch-out-it-bites]

I believe I deserve a sweet little treat [He has done nothing important for the past week]

[sussyscurryscorpio]

Scorpio Placement Observations

(This picture doesn't belong to me in any way) (I just typed whatever I've observed in people around me, so please take only what resonates) (Also, these may apply to 8th house placements too. Tell me if it does)

SCORPIO MOON:

~Every time you're happy, you just can't help but think, "How long until it all crashes down?" It's like you invent your own problems, when there aren't any, and suffer in it until you think hard about what you're crying about and its bleh-bloh-bluh. Nothing.

~"Fuck, I don't even know whatever the hell I am crying about. It's just I want to cry. I feel so down". Then, you get sad about being sad all the damn time and ugh, it's the feedback loop from hell. (Subtle art of not giving a fuck- Mark Manson)

~Having this placement is like your own mind being your worst enemy. You, often, might find it hard to control the negative self talk inside your head. You might even picture, like the three people who shouldn't even matter saying harsh shit to you. Those are not real people, mate. That is your own mind.

~Even if everything in your life is going just fine, it'll keep reminding you how your past sadness felt like. It'll make you cry even if your life is perfect. (If you can call it that) It'll make you addicted to that dropping of your heart, chaos in your head, swirling tsunami of emotions inside you.

~I don't know why but this, of all planets, is the worst debilitated placement. Like your mind is what stays with you all the damn time. This doesn't make your mind weak, it just pushes it to overthink about even the tiniest of shits.

~I don't know if I am exaggerating at this point, but you might find it hard to shut your thoughts. The more you try to keep everything in your head silent, the more the voices scream.

"Are your okay? Are your fine?" "NO I AM NOT, PLEASE STOP ASKING ME THAT" and still the voices in your head will keep repeating the above question.

~But, I've seen, most people who have this placement can read into what's going on in someone's head. They'll notice the tiniest of the smirks, the discreet glint in someone's eyes, the vibe of the whole damn room, that snarky tone of the nicest girl in class, everything. Even if you're a bad judge of people with this placement, you'll notice the red flags even before they show. The reason you fell for their facade is all because you ignored your gut and intuition. "Everything was pointing out how (someone) didn't have their best interest for me but god, I am such an idiot for not paying attention to it."

~To all Scorpio Moons out there, I am proud of you for making it everyday. This isn't an easy placement to have. Oh no wait, that's a rather humble way to put it. This is a challenging, hard, tough, formidable, rough, and what not placement to live with. You're doing great, bud.🤍

~And people who do astrology, 70% of them are Scorpio Moons. I've seen this here on Tumblr, on Discord. It's crazy. Stereotype of Scorpionic Moon being heavily into occult sciences.

~Aaaand. You're all very secretive. You'll come out of the bathroom crying and nobody would know you cried. It's like only you know what you feel. You know the tsunami inside and everybody else is unaware of that fact.

SCORPIO MERCURY:

~I don't know why but this happens a lot with Mercury in Scorpio that they might be joking and everything and there are people laughing. Then suddenly, they say something, not even offensive, and someone takes such an offence over what they say, they'll spoil the Scorpio Mercury's whole vibe and mood.

~Like, they were just joking one second earlier and suddenly they're literally appalled and trying to contemplate how people can twist their words into something so ugly, which they didn't even meant or thought was possible to be thought of, AT ALL.

~After that, they'll just stop speaking much with anyone and shut up. I mean, they don't open up much. They don't. Even if they do, it's a faux persona. That's not the real them. The real them is the one who tried opening up until shit happened (scenario above) and won't open up to you EVER AGAIN.

That plutonian death and rebirth. Speaking your heart, getting hurt by people's reaction, ghosting everyone.

~Oh and this placement doesn't make you a loner. At all. Scorpio Mercury people have, generally, delivered me the juiciest gossip around, Or they don't know anybody's name except their one friend.

One, extremely social Leo Rising with Scorpio Mercury friend of mine knows every shit going around the school. Who fucked who, where, when and how long. He knows everything. He's the go-to person for supplying gossip (and vape?)

And then my extremely introverted Taurus Rising with Scorpio Mercury bestie, doesn't know anybody's name except me, her boyfriend, and our 2 other friends. I'll tell her how this girl screwed around her bestie's boyfriend and 10 minutes later, I'll show her, "Look, that's the bitch" and she'll be like "What bitch? Who are we talking about?" ... I didn't go to school for a month and asked her for gossip and the only thing she came to know was what I already knew 2 months earlier and I DID TELL HER THEN, but she forgot. Pfft.

~Ah shit, I forgot. You are splendid writers. The way you write those raw emotions, fuck, I'm scarred already. It's like beautiful and heart breaking at the same time.

~And you all cuss a lot. It's fun though, ain't it?

~Also, you're just as secretive, aren't you? Your emotions are just for you and your writings to feel.

SCORPIO VENUS

~I mean. Step on me already, please. How are you so hot? Even if you are super possessive of your lover and possibly want to kill the guy they were laughing with 5 minutes ago, I love you, Scorpio Venus.

~I haven't met many Scorpio Venus people honestly. I wish I had. But so many celebrities have this in their sidereal charts and man, they're goddamm gorgeous. Katy Perry, Billie Eilish, Kendall Jenner, Sarah Hyland, Alexa Demie, Nina Dobrev, Rita Ora, and so many more. Look at them closely, they aren't just gorgeous or beautiful, they have an intense look on them. Masters of Siren eyes. Their faces have a kinda shadowy look, you know. Oh and this is in Sidereal, not tropical. (Legit had to calculate everyone's chart one by one 'cause google got no shit)

~No hate to Tropical, you all. It's just I prefer Sidereal for certain reasons. More so now that I know that Leonardo Dicaprio is a Scorpio Venus in Tropical and no way is that happening. (He's got a fkn Libra Stellium of Sun, Venus, Mars, Mercury and maybe even Moon in Sidereal and I'm drooling)

~So, back to Scorpio Venus. I haven't really noticed Scorpio Venus having commitment issues generally? I mean if you have, that's absolutely fine. It's just what I've noticed in my conversations with a few Scorpio Venuses.

~They define passion. Maybe I'm stereotyping, but come on, Scorpio is ruled by Mars (Or Pluto) There's got to be some passion. Or a lot of passion rather. Mhmm. Don't give me those bedroom eyes, I'll submit to you, Master.

~Jokes aside. I gotta ask you this. Scorpio Venus, are you of the opinion that sex is not just for pleasure, but a divine linkage of two souls? A connection, a bond, a higher form of spiritual act in itself? Sex might not be everything, but it is very important to you if things are to work for you and your partner?

~You're not into casual relationships, fuck and fly BS, least likely to have a threesome. I've seen this with Capricorn Venuses too. They don't like sharing their loved ones at all. (Sextiles, y'know) Super Loyal Lovers- Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn. (Always)

~Oh and, wear more black. It's your color after all. Black, Purple, these shades bring out your eyes more, or your features are highlighted. And you can totally be seductive without meaning to. You don't even try, it just, its a part of you. (Envious totally)

~And please, you're definitely not extreme, or too much. Maybe for Sagittarius or Libra Venus, idk, you could be, or maybe not, since these signs take it slow and are open to experimenting more, you're absolutely perfect in the way you love. Just, take it easy sometimes too. Intensity all time isn't fun, don't you think?

~OH. Steer clear of obsessive people. Scorpio Venuses attract a crazy lot of lovers often, which are an handful ofc. And also, be conscious of jealous friends. Man, one of my friends has this and her bestie was so insecure and jealous, she went on to screw the Scorpio Venus's ex bf just to prove that she's just as pretty as her. Ugh. Petty.

~Also, please don't give so much of yourself to anyone that there's nothing left for you. You love too much and not everyone deserves it. Hook up culture ain't for you, just don't put your heart in a place where it's left to dust and forgotten.

~You're secretive too, right? Nobody would know you're in love and inside you could be doing backflips and somersaults, totally lovesick.

[kintrash413]

socialstuck fic given... recent events :3c

Reddit would consider Tumblr… a friend. maybe. As far as he could tell, Tumblr didn’t think of him at all- embarrassing, considering the small but existent pedestal Reddit held him on but whatever. Reddit, Tumblr, and 4Chan seemed to be the last anonymous sites out there, as far as Reddit knew. and 4Chan was beyond antisocial so once again, that just left Tumblr.

Reddit’s home was collapsing. The carefully built in technology he’d curated over so many years to help everyone he could was getting outlawed, and as a result every part of his home that relied on it was collapsing. Which was… most of it, really.

But… Tumblr wasn’t open to taking in people for charity, he’d made that very clear when Twitter was in an eerily similar situation. And those two used to be matesprites. What hope did Reddit have in comparison?

All this to say that Reddit had been standing outside of Tumblr’s door for nearly an hour, and it was starting to snow. Worst he could say is no, right? Well, that wasn’t true. He could say ‘ew’.

Taking a deep breath and brushing the powdered snow off his shoulders, Reddit knocked.

The door slammed open, and Reddit was greeted with the blade of an axe to his face. He screamed and backed up, hands shooting up innocently. “I’m sorry I’m sorry! I’ll-”

“Oh.” Tumblr lowered the weapon, placing it against the wall. “Thought you were another bot. What are you doing here?”

“Um…”

Tumblr took a step out into the cold, shivering slightly under his suit jacket and eyeing Reddit intensely. “You’re not a bot, right? What’s five (5) times five (5)?”

“...25?”

Tumblr nodded, absconding the single step back inside. “Firefox, it’s cold out here. Come in, dude.”

Well, Reddit was allowed inside for the moment, and he gratefully took it, kicking his boots against the welcome mat as he stepped in. “I don’t know if you heard but, Spez-”

“Oh I heard,” Tumblr spat as he shut the door. “Another fucking corporation fucking over disabled people to make a quick buck.” He shook his head in disgust. “Can I offer you a drink?”

“Sure?”

Tumblr headed into the kitchen without another word, and after a moment of standing in place stupidly, Reddit decided the best course of action was to follow a few feet behind.

“congrats on the protesting, by the way,” Tumblr stated as he rummaged through the cupboards. “Takes guts to cost a corpo that much money.”

"th-thanks." Reddit twiddled with his thumbs and hid his smile in his hoodie. "but, because of all that my house is… well it's a mess. it's falling apart, the lights aren't working, and the locks have all been changed so…"

Tumblr sighed, pulling a carton of some strong-smelling drink from the cupboard and pouring two cups. "What is it with everyone coming to me when faced with homelessness? I'm honoured, maybe?"

"I mean- I don't think Spez will keep this shit up I just need a place to crash until… if you have the space, I mean."

Tumblr pushed the drink into Reddits hands, just listening for now as he leaned against the counter and downed his own drink in seconds.

Reddit took a single sip before immediately deciding never to do that again. "bluh… anyway, i, uh…" Reddit spoke quickly, as if that would make the next sentence any less embarrassing. "I enjoy a lot of your content and made quite a few snoos after you so I should be able to acclimate-"

"ah, stop you flatter me," Tumblr made a show of fanning his cheeks dramatically, playful grin making Reddit feel all sorts of pale things he was desperately trying to ignore. "multiple? I knew about r/Tumblr but… oh, I guess there's r/CuratedTumblr and r/196, practically. and... r/TumblrCringe."

Reddit had no excuses for that.

"but I know a lot of my bigger users carry fame across your platforms as well so clearly you've got good taste." Tumblr hummed thoughtfully. "I'll think about it. where are you staying right now?"

well, a few minutes ago he was staying outside of Tumblrs door. and before he walked over he was living on his own porch leaning against the locked door. but mostly he was living nowhere and bouncing around to distract himself from the fact that he was living nowhere.

"oh," was Tumblrs subdued response to Reddits silence. "how long do you think you'll…?"

"48 hours, hopefully."

"well… that's not long at all. I got a couch you can sleep on until then and… you're a hell of a lot more respectful than Twitter was…" he patted Reddit on the arm with a smile. "let me show you around."

Reddit let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding before following Tumblr further inside the house. "thanks."

"not a problem! stay as long as you need."

[etherape]

feeling bluh all the time so here you guys have a ryhme *p.s. sorry about any typos its the rough draft of a poem/rap

im writing poetry thats a bad sign

im completely gone

And I dont feel fine

Everything feels wrong

Everythings on the line

The nights are getting long

im running out of time

getting angry at myself

living in a dangerous hell

And i know it cant help

But shit aint going well

And im pavloved by the bell

That my phone let out

But no matter how much i shout

The screen wont love me back

No matter how much i tap

It wont ever amount

To half a slow clap

in a constant state of strife

 cant tell if im wrong or right

I  think i just hate my life

I think theres no end in sight

I just wanna i to see the light

But everything is fucked up

Everything is shite

You know i aint gonna shut up

You know im  gonna fight

I know i might sound stuck up

How maybe just a leg up

You probably think my rhymes suck

Im just hoping for a bita luck

I know i aint the cream of the crop

I just hope life aint a set up

I hope life aint a cop

You kow im getting fed up

You know gotta keep the feds up

They be staring through my webcam

With their coffee cup

Watching me go ham

Looking shit i shouldnt up

You know what they say outta mind outta sight

But im so angry my visions going white

You knwo what they say about rows and ducks

I fucking wish i didnt give a fucking  fuck

I hope everything goes alright

I hope this doesnt suck

Someone got a light?

I wanna hurt my lungs

I know that cigs are shite

But Thats how i wanna end my night

I know that smoke aint it

But thats how ill end my life

When they push i pull

But when i need it they never help

Aint that a load of bull

Been a while since this is how the angers felt

Been Thinking of the belt clanking

That i could do nothing to stop

Been thinking of shanking

The woman i call my opp

Ive got a hankering

To make her stop

But i digress

I cant digest

The rage inside

But i do my best to hide

Breathing kinda works

Im trying to keep calm

My chest kinda hurts

And im trying not to vom

[redjennies]

all i knew before playing kotor 2 was that people loved kreia so i was surprised i didn't much care for her except for a couple memorable scenes. meanwhile atris had me on a chokehold the whole time. the scene where you assemble your Backstory on the fly while having a bitter argument with her is still one of my favorite bits from any game.

it's SUCH a good scene! I love how you can start out that conversation so penitent, so much older and wiser since you were first exiled, but the more you argue with her the more the dialogue gets drawn into that argument. by the time you're interrupting her, you've entirely relapsed into that same person you were when you stood before her and the Council. you stop being the sorry Exile and start being that person "who was so right," again, and it perfectly mirrors Atris' own deeply held convictions. at that moment, neither one of you can really let it go.

it lays out the relationship so well in a way that makes it easy to imagine why she and the Exile were so close in the first place. you can easily imagine this tendency to debate was always part of their friendship. they both have this same stubborn, overdeveloped sense of what is right, and that strong sense of morality ends up being both of their undoing. the Exile, defined by their empathy and emotional impulsivity, simply fell first and therefore, has had time to grow from it. for better or worse, they are different now, even if progress isn't linear when you're in a bitter argument with your ex.

Atris, on the other hand, is intentionally cautious just as she has been taught to be. if the Exile is the prodigal son, Atris is the good son. she has always held fast to her teachings and done what was expected of her. unlike the Exile, she did not go to war. unlike the Exile, she does not let her feelings get the better of her. unlike the Exile, she can stand next to the Sith and not feel their influence, right? surely, of all people, she has the willpower to resist, right? after all, she's doing all of this to eradicate the SIth and save the galaxy from their destruction. (but when you think about it, is Kreia not trying to do the very same thing?)

and so Atris falls, not in spite of her piety, but because of it. and it's so good! it's so compelling! not because "bluh bluh, huge bitch. she's self-righteous and she got what was coming to her," like the fanboys of yore would tell you, but because Atris is a historian. she carries your old lightsaber as a reminder to never be like you. she is nothing like you, and she is exactly like you. she is a part of your backstory, and she is your backstory, repeating. and she's a fucking fantastic character. 10/10.

[circular-bircular]

this is gonna be a vent really so. sorry about it. I have nothing else to say except The Absolute State Of Syscourse tm

so. I made a post yesterday where I tried to directly talk to anti endos about the shit going down the last few days, namely... whatever the fuck has been going on with AEV. their behaviour confuses the fuck out of me but not the point.

I made that post, and tagged it both "anti endo" and "pro endo", not maliciously, but because I wanted everyone interested to see it! that was assholery at its finest and I don't want ANYONE to do it again!

something like, 3 minutes after I posted it, an anti endo came kicking and screaming at me that I was cross tagging ("can you not fucking cross tag?") and "delete it cause we don't want to see this shit"

I went and deleted the anti endo tag since they asked me to, and told them to have a nice day, because I think everyone deserves a nice day even if they're rude to me. it's not personal.

but...

my good fellow, I'm talking to you. this is not cross tagging. or if it is, PRO ENDOS should be the ones mad at cross tagging, since that wasn't about them but merely I wanted them to also be my audience. just because you don't like to hear what you've done, it doesn't make it "shit"

this is what I'm referring to when I talk about echo chambers btw. no one wants to hear that they're doing something wrong, but sometimes you have to. sometimes you have to acknowledge that you've hurt people, and you've hurt people you're claiming you're protecting. and it fucking sucks.

and I'm fucking tired that's what I am.

(Ask is from May, good lord....)

I’m sorry that these people automatically assume that anyone who criticizes them is on the “bad side” somehow. I'm sorry that people do this sort of shit constantly, and that's a major reason I exited syscourse spaces (or, well, at least, will not be participating 24/7 like I have been for so many goddamn years).

I think, at the end of the day, I don't care anymore about people's feelings on here -- not in a bad way, but in a "My brother in Christ, this is my blog" way.

I am a 26 year old blogger with opinions. I will post my opinions online. If that upsets you, get upset, whatever, I don't care. If I tag it in what I feel is a correct way -- which I feel your original tags were correct -- and you're upset, I do not care and I am under no obligation to change. I will simply give you instructions on how to block me, or, even better, will simply block you myself.

And this, to me, is an echo chamber. But I'm realizing something important about the words echo chamber: echo chamber has become something completely different.

An echo chamber is when people close themselves off so much that they only hear beliefs that agree with their own. So.... how on earth is blocking the assholes an echo chamber? If you had to argue it is, then you're arguing that my echo chamber is only people who agree to be nice to people. That's.... fine.

If anti-endos block people who are assholes, that's also fine.

But how are we defining assholes? How are we defining--

Bluh. You see how this keeps getting twisted up and circling around? There's so much there, so many things that need defined, so many things that are hard to determine...

I just can't bring myself to care anymore. If a 20 year old anti-endo is shouting to the high heavens about their (from my perspective, incorrect) opinions, whatever. I don't care anymore. That's not my circus or my monkey.

If I see an asshole online shouting and doxxing people or revealing private things about them, then I'm likely going to make a post about it to remind people that it's not okay to do. I may even let them know directly that it's not cool. But I'm not getting twisted up inside anymore. I am so fucking tired of that shit.

I hope you can block, anon, or that you already did.

[pesterloglog]

John Egbert, Jade Harley, Jaspersprite

Act 6, page 5283-5307

JOHN: jade...

JADE: hm?

JOHN: i think i just realized something.

JADE: what?

JOHN: THIS MOVIE FUCKING SUCKS!!!

JADE: whaaat

JADE: but you love this movie!

JOHN: yeah, i know.

JOHN: i mean... i thought i did.

JOHN: it's been kind of a long time since i last saw it. i really remember it being a lot better than this!

JOHN: but now everything just seems so cheesy and stupid.

JADE: but you were making such a big deal about finally getting me to watch it with you on your birthday!

JADE: you were going on and on about how i wouldnt be disappointed... but now youre saying you dont like it?

JOHN: i don't know. i'm trying to like it. i WANT to like it.

JOHN: i want to feel the same magic that was there all the other times i watched it.

JOHN: but i can't, because...

JOHN: it's just...

JOHN: not...

JOHN: good. :(

JADE: really?

JADE: i was actually kind of enjoying it!

JADE: its very silly

JADE: i really dont think its the kind of movie youre supposed to take all that seriously john

JOHN: but i DID take it seriously!!!

JOHN: i guess maybe that's kind of the point.

JOHN: i always thought all this hokey bullshit was legitimately awesome and compelling.

JOHN: what was i even thinking!

JADE: i dunno....

JADE: but people can change their minds about things

JADE: i think youre allowed to change your mind about a silly movie

JADE: i used to LOVE the squiddles show when i was really young

JADE: but as i got older i started to realize it wasnt as great as i thought it was

JADE: i was just too young to see how it was actually a flagrant vehicle for selling merchandise

JADE: and if you believed the conspiracy theorists it might have even been pushing some other dark hidden agendas.....

JADE: so i stopped liking the show itself as much but that didnt change the fact that i had a lot of fond memories about it

JADE: i still loved all the cute characters and could enjoy it on a nostalgic level

JOHN: well, maybe later i'll be able to rekindle some nostalgic feelings about it.

JOHN: but right now, i just feel like a dope for talking this up so hard.

JADE: what is even the problem with it?

JADE: ive just been watching this and thinking, yup, i can see why john was so obsessed with this movie...

JADE: its funny!

JOHN: it's just non stop terrible action movie cliches!

JOHN: look.

JOHN: i love nic cage. he is basically my hero, ok?

JOHN: but i'm kind of just realizing now that he is EMBARRASSINGLY BAD in this movie!

JOHN: he is just doing this corny parody of a southern guy who is down on his luck, and acts "charming" with his goofy accent and stuff.

JOHN: some things i used to think were so badass are just coming off as ridiculous now.

JOHN: can you believe that one time we were watching this movie, when he said "put the bunny back in the box" i actually high fived my dad?

JOHN: this time that line just made me roll my eyes.

JOHN: there's so much crappy dialogue!

JOHN: "cyrus, this is your barbecue, and it tastes good..." arrgh!

JADE: but he was trying to sound like a hardened criminal to win the trust of john malkovich!

JOHN: jade, please. it was a cheesy line, don't be so naive.

JADE: what!!

JADE: you spent your whole life worshiping this dumb movie and now youre calling ME naive????

JOHN: ok, i'm sorry. i guess in fairness to you, you have only just begun to climb the steep learning curve of this vexing and hypnotic film.

JOHN: but i am no longer bound by its spell, jade.

JADE: oh god

JADE: vexing and hypnotic??

JADE: its a movie full of explosions about a guy with a mullet

JADE: what is with you lately? you seem to be in such a crappy mood these days

JOHN: i am fine. this MOVIE is what's crappy these days.

JADE: oh bluh bluh

JADE: can we just finish the rest of the movie?

JADE: look you made us miss a whole bunch of stuff!

JADE: hang on im going to rewind it...

JOHN: who even cares what we missed.

JOHN: just cameron stupid poe in his idiot wife beater babbling some more southern home spun heroic nonsense.

JOHN: heart of gold my ass!!!!!

JOHN: everything dave ever said about this movie was right! i can't believe i used to think he was just trolling me.

JOHN: the stupid junkyard scene where cyrus makes a little model out of rocks and stuff, just so he could tell the criminals to surround some army guys and shoot them... that was pointless!

JOHN: and all this heavy handed scoring. oh my god. the music makes every little thing into such a federal issue!

JOHN: like... oh man, SOME MINOR CHARACTERS BEING INTRODUCED IN SLOW MOTION! dun-dun dun-dun DUN DUN DUN!!!

JOHN: there. now you officially know they are all badasses.

JOHN: also, i somehow didn't even remember dave chappelle being in this movie. he was pointless too.

JADE: whos dave chappelle?

JOHN: and you know the malloy guy, the dick head cop who we're supposed to hate, because of how he gives john cusack a hard time and makes asshole decisions with a helicopter?

JOHN: well screw that! he wasn't so bad. so what if he was a little grumpy? he was just trying to do his job. he had one of the best lines in the movie actually, which was another thing we were supposed to hate him for.

JOHN: what was it? about how cusack was probably out saving a tree and recycling his sandals or some shit? HAHAHA! now that i think about it, i fucking LOVE malloy.

JOHN: i'm going to rewind it to watch that scene again...

JADE: no!!!

JADE: dont touch the remote

JOHN: oh, and we're supposed to be like "YEAH" when cusack wrecks malloy's awesome sports car.

JOHN: but that was a nice car! john cusack shouldn't have ruined it like that for laughs.

JOHN: i know *I* wasn't laughing, were you?

JADE: YES :p

JOHN: john cusack was such a terrible character in this movie now that i think about it. i don't really get what he added to it?

JOHN: he was like the second hero... but dorkier? what did he even really do? he scampered around the junkyard for a while goofing off, and then when it was his time to shine...

JOHN: HE DEMONSTRATED HIS MASTERY OVER HEAVY MACHINERY! wow, he can operate a crane! i am thrilled by the exploits of this pedantic weenie.

JOHN: i guess he's actually like cage's estranged sidekick? almost like the robin that batman never realized he had.

JOHN: now that i think about it, this movie was always an oddly poignant tale of bromance between cage and cusack. just two bros separated by destiny, waiting to be united.

JOHN: when they finally come together to kick some ass, it is arguably more moving than when he reunites with his wife and daughter!

JOHN: i wonder if i'll think that scene sucks now too? it used to move me to tears, but now i'll probably think it's so lame, i'm almost afraid to watch it. maybe i should try to leave at least SOME memories untainted.

JADE: john you are kind of sounding like a crazy person here

JOHN: yeah right! crazy like a fOWWW!

JADE: what???

JOHN: oh...

JOHN: i guess there was a stray feather clinging to my pajamas and it just poked me in the ass.

JOHN: god damn dave sprite.

JOHN: that guy molts like it's going out of style.

JADE: oh...

JADE: heh

JADE: yeah

JOHN: where is he anyway?

JOHN: i specifically told dave sprite several times when my party would start, because i knew he would do this.

JOHN: he's already missed half the movie!

JADE: why do you always call him dave sprite?

JOHN: um... because that's his name?

JOHN: dave sprite.

JADE: no, i mean why do you always say it like that? with the space between words?

JADE: its not dave sprite, its just davesprite

JOHN: what ever.

JOHN: i can't believe he's standing me up on my birthday.

JOHN: maybe he doesn't want to hang out with jaspers?

JOHN: jaspers, i hope you're not going to start chasing him around again when he gets here.

JASPERSPRITE: Hisssss!

JOHN: dude, shut up.

JADE: yeah.... john

JADE: i dont think davesprite is coming tonight

JOHN: aw, man. really?

JOHN: i knew we shouldn't have invited both him and jaspers.

JOHN: that's just party planning BASICS.

JADE: no...

JADE: it has nothing to do with jaspers

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: then why?

JADE: he uh...

JADE: kind of broke up with me

JOHN: what!!!

JOHN: when did that happen?

JADE: a couple days ago

JOHN: no. no way.

JOHN: i cannot accept this!

JADE: john its ok you dont have t...

JOHN: you and dave sprite were like the glue holding everything together on this miserable road trip!

JADE: we were?

JOHN: yes, jade.

JOHN: you were our rock.

JADE: your rock??

JADE: what are you talking about?

JOHN: come on, jade.

JOHN: you and dave sprite were like... an INSTITUTION on this stupid golden battleship.

JADE: we were not an institution!

JADE: you are just saying meaningless things now

JOHN: why did he break up with you?!

JADE: um...

JADE: its complicated

JADE: basically hes just going through a lot of stuff right now

JOHN: stuff??

JOHN: what stuff.

JOHN: jade, we are all going through stuff. you don't see me flying off the handle and breaking up with MY girlfriend.

JADE: do uh...

JADE: you have a girlfriend?

JOHN: that is not the point.

JOHN: the point is that dave sprite is a douche.

JADE: i dont think hes a douche, hes just...

JOHN: no, he's an orange feathery douche.

JOHN: why is he such a basket case? he's like regular dave, but like, aloof enigma edition.

JOHN: maybe it's because he's part bird? i think becoming a bird and a sprite did something weird to him.

JADE: i dont think being a bird ever bothered him

JADE: like i said... its all more complicated than that

JOHN: normal dave was so much more level headed.

JOHN: i have to admit, i spend a lot of time wondering what he and rose are up to.

JADE: me too

JOHN: ehh...

JOHN: maybe it's for the best he broke up with you.

JADE: why?

JOHN: well, what kind of future do you think you would have with him?

JOHN: he's a sprite. like really, what even is a sprite? how long do they live? will he still be around if we win the new game we are allegedly trying to get to?

JADE: i dont know

JOHN: there are a lot of things we don't know.

JOHN: and also...

JOHN: how do things even work if you marry a sprite?

JADE: what do you mean

JOHN: i mean...

JOHN: ok, he has a ghost butt, for one thing.

JADE: uh

JADE: so

JOHN: a GHOST BUTT, jade!

JADE: SO WHAT IF HE HAS A GHOST BUTT!!!!!

JOHN: i'm just saying...

JADE: WHATEVER YOURE JUST SAYING, JUST STOP SAYING IT!

JADE: and whatever youre trying to gesture with your hands there, stop doing that too!

JOHN: what? no, i was just...

JADE: nope!!! totally not talking about this

JOHN: but

JADE: put your hands down john

JOHN: ok, fine.

JADE: thats not down, thats up!

JADE: oh well, at least youre not making those unsettling gestures...

JADE: john...

JADE: what are you doing?

JOHN: nothing!

JADE: i hope youre not entertaining some awkward train of thought about, uh...

JOHN: no!!!

JADE: what is with you??

JADE: today is your birthday, youre supposed to be having fun!

JADE: but youve been so testy, as if youre committed to not having a good time

JOHN: well, maybe i'm just getting a little tired of being stuck on this lame boat!

JOHN: don't you think it's gotten kind of old?

JADE: yeah, i can see how you might find it a little slow here

JADE: i dunno, i havent minded much... maybe its different for me though because i used to live all alone?

JOHN: oh sure, i'm sure it's GREAT for you. you get to spend your days smooching and breaking up with dave sprite and what not, and you can shrink down to any old planet you feel like, any time. whereas i have to make this whole big deal of ASKING you to shrink or unshrink me, and...

JADE: but i dont mind doing that any time!!!

JOHN: i know, but you think i want to bug you about that at the drop of a hat? when you're busy and on dates and stuff? i just happen to have respect for something called PERSONAL BOUNDARIES, jade.

JOHN: and it's not like there's really anyone else to talk to, except the inscrutable chess people and a bunch of brainless consorts and an idiot cat princess. oh and also nanna, but i mean, she's my grandmother, and she's great, but a guy can only spend so much quality time with his grandmother before he starts to feel like kind of a loser whose friends are too busy to spend time with him!

JADE: john... if you told me this earlier i would have...

JOHN: and i still never visit any interesting dream bubbles, and we can't even finish our cool planet quests because the moment we broke through the window all our denizens decided to go back to sleep, and...

JOHN: i guess what i'm saying is, i'm MORE than ready to get to the other window and meet our friends and other new people and stuff.

JOHN: are you sure you can't make the ship go faster???

JADE: were already going as fast as i can make us go

JOHN: and how fast is that again?

JADE: about the speed of light!

JOHN: well, can't you use your space powers and bump it up a notch?

JADE: no! nothing can go faster than light john

JADE: unless you teleport of course

JOHN: and why can't you teleport us again?

JADE: i already explained this! i cant do that here, its not within the domain of the green sun which gives me those powers!

JOHN: is that why we can't go faster than light either?

JADE: no thats just a regular law of physics!!! jeez

JOHN: ok, i mean, i know that. but this isn't really a regular place, right?

JOHN: isn't the speed of light like a thousand miles a second? so what does that really mean here? are miles and seconds the same here as on earth? how does this nonsense dimension we're racing through jive with all the relativity mumbo jumbo?

JADE: ok first of all, thats not even close to the speed of light

JADE: light travels at a hundred and eighty six thousand miles per second no matter what frame of reference youre in... even this one!

JADE: second of all special relativity and comparing laws of physics between different frames of reference, those are tricky issues to talk about!

JADE: but id be more than happy to talk about them if youd like. actually i would enjoy that because i never really get to talk about science wi...

JOHN: no, i don't want to talk about physics! i don't know anything about the laws of physics, because they are hard and boring.

JOHN: i simply would like them to behave in a way that is most convenient to ME and MY LIFE! is that really asking too much?

JADE: yes as a matter of fact it is!

JOHN: well, guess what? SCIENCE IS STUPID BULLSHIT!!!

JADE: you take that back!!!!!

JOHN: no.

JOHN: magic is awesome.

JOHN: science blows.

JOHN: the end.

JADE: john.....

JADE: what is that?

JOHN: what?

JADE: under your hood...

JADE: looks like a piece of paper stuck to your back?

JOHN: huh?

JOHN: oh god dammit.

JOHN: STRIIIIIIDEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!!

JOHN: THAT BASTARD!!!

JADE: what?

JOHN: THIS IS TOTALLY OUTRAGEOUS.

JADE: what is it??

JOHN: I WILL TELL YOU WHAT IT IS.

JOHN: IT IS THE LAST FUCKING STRAW!!!

JOHN: RAAARARRAAUUUAAAAUUAGHGHGGHGGGGHHGH!

JADE: where are you going?

JOHN: I'M GOING TO GO KICK HIS ASS!

JADE: what! john, no...

JOHN: POSING AS MY DEAD FATHER BY MIMICKING ONE OF HIS GREAT FATHERLY NOTES HE USED TO HIDE AROUND THE HOUSE???

JOHN: AND ON THE TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE DAY HE WAS SLAIN BY JACK NOIR, A *FACT* OF WHICH THAT CHEEKY ORANGE ASSHOLE IS PLAINLY AWARE??????

JOHN: THIS IS A NEW LOW, EVEN FOR DAVE SPRITE!

JADE: ok yes, that practical joke is in poor taste, but you should try to calm down and...

JOHN: NO, SCREW THAT, I AM SUPER PISSED OFF ABOUT THIS!

JOHN: THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO SETTLE THIS, AND THAT IS WITH AN OLD FASHIONED BEATDOWN.

JOHN: WHERE'S MY HAMMER!!!!!

JADE: um

JADE: which one?

JOHN: ANY OLD HAMMER!

JOHN: WHATEVER. IT COULD BE A HAMMER FROM THE BARGAIN BIN OF A HARDWARE STORE FOR ALL I CARE.

JOHN: JUST GIVE ME ANYTHING THAT'S FIT FOR CLOBBERING A GHOST BOTTOMED DICK FACE WHO'S ALSO A BIRD.

JADE: sigh

JOHN: I'M COMING FOR YOU, DAVE SPRITE!

JOHN: DO YOU HEAR ME, YOU MAGICAL SON OF A BITCH? I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!

JOHN: THAT STUNT WASN'T COOL! *YOU'RE* NOT COOL!

JOHN: LIKE IT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH YOU DUMPED JADE FOR NO REASON. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU!

JOHN: YOU AND JADE WERE OUR ROCK ON THIS SHIP! YOU HEAR ME?? OUR ROOOOOOOOCK!!!

JADE: :|

JOHN: AND NOW *THIS* BULLSHIT??? WHAT THE HELL, MAN.

JOHN: I DON'T GO AROUND LEAVING FAKE PUZZLES FOR YOU LIKE FROM THE MOVIE SAW, DO I? HAVE YOU EVER HEARD ME SAY I WANT TO PLAY A GAME EVEN *ONCE*?? WELL, HAVE YOU????

JOHN: NO, BECAUSE THAT WOULD STIR UP PAINFUL MEMORIES OF A DEARLY DEPARTED LOVED ONE, AND THEREFORE WOULD BE UNBELIEVABLY SHITTY OF ME!!!!!!!!

JOHN: HEY! I SEE YOU THERE!

JOHN: GET DOWN FROM THERE RIGHT NOW, WISE GUY!

JOHN: OH NO, DON'T PLAY DUMB. I CAN SEE YOU PLAIN AS DAY. I'M ON TO YOU, BUDDY.

JOHN: STOP VAGUELY WATERMARKING THE SKY WITH YOUR SMUG DOUCHEY FACE THIS INSTANT AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!!!

JOHN: YEAH SURE, LAUGH IT UP! THAT MAKES YOU SEEM LIKE WAY LESS OF A TOOL. NICE GOING BRO!

JOHN: EVERYONE ON THIS BOAT IS SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR BULLSHIT! WHY DON'T YOU JUST FLY AWAY AND LEAVE US ALONE?

JOHN: HOW CAN YOU BE SO MUCH MORE OF A PRICK THAN THE REAL DAVE? YOU ARE THE MOST PISS POOR SUBSTITUTE FOR A BEST FRIEND A GUY EVER HAD.

JOHN: I CAN'T *WAIT* TO MEET UP WITH THE REAL DAVE AGAIN. THAT WAY WE CAN ALL GO BACK TO THE AWESOME STATUS QUO OF PRETENDING YOU NEVER EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE!

JADE: john...

JADE: theres no one there

JOHN: oh he's THERE alright.

JOHN: he's probably just using some sprite magic so only i can see him.

JOHN: don't you see, jade? he's antagonizing ME PERSONALLY, not you. he's done with you, remember?

JOHN: he already used you like a rented mule, and now he is moving on to greener pastures.

JADE: what pastures

JOHN: it's me.

JOHN: I'M the pastures.

JOHN: and now his mule is grazing all over them, while he has a good laugh.

JADE: what

JADE: wasnt i supposed to be the mule?

JADE: i dont think i understand your analogy

JOHN: no, you see, it's...

JOHN: the mule represented, like...

JOHN: i don't know, like the spirit animal of his douchey ways. or something.

JADE: ....

JOHN: augh, WHO CAAARES.

JOHN: who cares about mules, or pastures, or dave sprite's stupid ephemeral sky visage.

JOHN: who cares about anything!!!

JOHN: who cares about my birthday, or nic cage, or this boat full of idiots.

JOHN: JUST.

JOHN: WHO.

JOHN: CARES.

JADE: john i think youre officially throwing a tantrum here

JADE: ...

JADE: john?

JADE: john...

JADE: are you asleep?

JADE: please dont tell me you just fell asleep in your driveway

[gamesception]

let’s read rgu, chapter 23

Bluh, frustrations with tumblr.  I think the bug triggers when I hit “ctrl-z” to undo after changing the format of a text selection, deleting the entire post body while also clearing the undo chain?  Hideous.  Anyway, where were we.  Right, Utena knows Akio is the villain, and he admitted as much, but she thinks he’s her prince and is too in love with him to go against him.  Or she thinks Dios is her prince, and Akio is the only way to reach him?  A bit unclear.  And kind of disappointing compared to the motivations walking into the final battle in the anime, but fitting with manga Utena being all about her prince.

Touga’s not mad, he’s just disappointed.  So disappointed that he leaves.  I guess his oath doesn’t add up to much.

But you can never be my Prince. Because you’re a girl.

Parallels.

No, Anthy, we wouldn’t understand.  Because, at least to this point, the manga hasn’t explained what your & Akio’s deal is at all.  We pretty much understood what anime Akio and Anthy were about before the final duel - Akio’s existance as the fallen prince, Dios as the the now unobtainable ideal of his former self, Anthy as the Rose Bride and what that actually meant.  We haven’t gotten any of that in the manga yet - it’s not even clear what the relationship between manga Akio and manga Dios is yet, if indeed there is any.

Look, see, is she in love with Akio, or Dios?  She clearly doesn’t see them as the same person.

So anyway, Akio, Anthy, and Utena head to the dueling arena to have their wedding ritual, and Utena draws the sword, and then this happens.

which is sad and sweet, but but then immediately progresses into some random Akio castle magic nonsense that I’m even less invested in now than I was the first time I read it.

So Utena passes out and floats in the air while Akio takes the sword, and Anthy says some stuff, and there’s a big flash, and the student council all rush to the dueling arena, and...

Oop, there Akio in the prince garb, while Utena has become the Rose Bride.  Whoops!  And since she’s the rose bride...

Yup, out pops the sword.  The same sword?  A different one?  Unclear.

Although in Akio’s big villain monologue we do finally start to get some details.  Dios is in the castle (making the castle actually important, where in the anime it kind of wasn’t in the end), Akio /used/ to have the power of dios and/or be dios - hence “take back” rather than “take” the power.

Although it would be nice if Akio could point out where Anthy fits into all of this.

Oh.  Thank you.

Kind of underwhelming?  Kind of lackluster?  The idea that Anthy could be replaceable as the rose bride just... it feels flat.  RGU manga - the version where Anthy’s actually not all that important I guess.

Utena & the Student Council - Saionji especially - demand that Akio release Anthy if she’s really not important anymore, and he refuses?  Seemingly arbitrarily?  Like why should she have to be entombed in her glass coffin if she’s not even the rose bride anymore?  Presumably there’s some arcane ritual reason, sure, but in the moment it feels like Akio just refuses out of spite, which seems at odds which his prior characterization (like shouldn’t he at least pretend to be sad about abandoning his sister?) and aslo utterly self defeating, because if he just let Anthy go Utena would have gone along with him to the castle and all would have gone according to keikaku, but now instead when Akio goes to kiss Utena and take her to the castle...

she fuckin bites him.  Pretty satisfying.  Not quite as satisfying as that shove in episode 39, you know the one...

Yeah, that one.  Not as satisfying as that, but still.

Anyway, Akio fucks off to the castle on his own, and leaves Utena to uselessly beat her hands bloody trying to open Anthy’s casket.

But then down comes Dios to put the ring back on her finger, and gives her the power to break the glass coffin...

which then turns back into Anthy’s sword

And Utena & Anthy quick change back to their usual outfits, and they have a brief but genuinely touching reunion where Utena apologizes.

Now that Anthy’s back, she can further explain Akio’s motivations.

And that’s... just kind of blunt?  Kind of boring by comparison?  Not as interesting as the prince who fell from grace by letting a princess suffer for him instead of the other way around, who somehow can’t understand why all his schemes to reclaim that lost grace fail when they all amount to him doubling and tripling down on the same original sin that caused him to fall in the first place - making others, especially his sister, suffer in his place.

I don’t know if I’d call manga akio /more/ disappointing than manga Miki or Juri, but he’s up there.

Regardless, Utena & Anthy are going to the castle to stop Akio.  It’s not quite clear from this dialog whether the SC are going with.  I kind of hope they are, because, again, it’s just kind of silly watching them toddle along behind Utena, and I’m a sucker for ‘power of friendship’ moments, even (especially!) when they’re ludicrously unearned.  “I’m going to stop the villain with my bestest friends - Anthy, my math tutor, Anthy’s abusive ex boyfriend, the pushy creep who forcibly kissed me multiple times, and a girl who tried to stab me with a sword because she was jealous over the pushy creep’s unwanted attentions!”

But anyway, that’s where the chapter ends, so next time we’ll be back to fresh reactions.

[noblechaton]

I love Lila Rossi, she is such a great character in the context of Miraculous. She feels like the villain from a different show, one for an older audience, who somehow ended up in a kid's series and is doing her best to cope.

y'know I've been on a sorta wild ride with Lila where I found her an interesting potential side-villain sorta character near the end of S1 and such. kind of a contrast to Gabe's "bluh bluh I'm doing this for a good reason" sorta thing with her just being someone who loves lying and being kind of silly (evil)

then she sorta didn't appear all that much for a while and I kinda forgot about her at large tbh. she had some appearances thru 2-4 and I didn't think too much of her beyond finding her antics kind of a nice break from the usual by that point, then her aligning with Gabe which was kind of a jaw drop moment

then in S5 admittedly I was starting to get tired of some elements of her character - tho that was more on the whole. mayor Chloe thing which I'm still just sorta ??? about than it was Lila but still I was kinda like "idk if I'm in on this" for a lil while there

and then she took her fucking wig off LMAO

genuinely in the running for craziest moment in the entire series and instantly made me more excited about her being a main villain bc she's just. whatever she wants to be. does she even really live in Paris? is she even really a kid? WHO is she. WHAT is she. like. she's just an elemental force given a body that hates happy meals and sunshine. it's so funny and so entertaining that I really hope they do some wild stuff with her in presumably a more lead role

like u said it's almost like she's a mix of some spy drama character and a Looney Tunes character that has found herself in a magical Paris and does not really know how to get out but she's gonna do her best to make it weird for everyone and honestly? highly entertaining

[problemnyatic]

I think something dysfunctional and very desperate to help others inside me wants to believe that just loving someone is supposed to be enough to heal them, rid them of their pain and of their wounds, and... it's just not.

We've become full up on social connections that we struggle to maintain not only due to life being an ongoing fuckshit bonanza but because we've moved with this belief that love is something we can give endlessly, forever, with no real effort, to everyone. I fucking wish that were true, but it's not. Love takes work. It takes time, focus, attention. It takes learning someone and dedicating effort to better understanding them, who they are, what they need, what makes their eyes shimmer, what makes them release tension in their body. It's work. It's the most rewarding work we do, but... It's a fucking lot.

We're exhausted from it. Not just from it, but it's a factor. It's a lot of giving, and the way we contort ourselves to best be what the other needs leaves us distanced from our own needs. We're happy to just get by, but We need more than that. And we don't know how to reach for more than that.

maybe we do. maybe we just feel like we can't, or shouldn't. This post got away from us. bluh.

[watch-out-it-bites]

man I kinda wanna die but like. Za.p..io is my nearly one last interest. I've got role-playing yeah but I'm so tired nowadays that I'd rather just. Bluh. With za.p..io I can judt think of it all day and every little detail and think of my own things involving it I can be as self indulgent as I want without sharing. And I guess I like reading too I finally mustered up the energy to read a comic I've been meaning to. I don't think I wanna go to school tomorrow I don't want aanyone to see. I just ruined a lot if progreeees for thebbody I hate that z.am.aaaanio releates to rnery ilttle this I do nowsaays I canno spend time on my nn I am nmjst. Fuck. I haven't been here for so longnandn I justmn. God. It's overwhelming and imbreealy sorry. There was a gap in memories starting mid first block Dec 4 to 4th blookc and all that I know is whoever was there wasn't me or sinpop had association to strawberry shortcake nostalgia and dreams was very drowsy and movements abs9lutely fukckiin sucked. not nolly or quark. I feel like nobody is with me and it's so weird I feel so damn lonely smiles isntneven here!!!! I'm so tired but I cannot sleep I think I'm just gonnanstay here foreverband maybe die

[barbaracleboy]

Bluh...Y'know what? Three strikes, I think I'm done with Tumblr Tournaments. First I joined one (submitting a Character and paying attention to what was going on) and I thought it would be enjoyable, but then there was some bullshit right at the beginning that soured the whole thing for me.

Then there was one that I didn't even choose to join for fear of drama, and while there was next-to-no drama (to my knowledge) there was a Character I disliked getting shoved down my throat often. And then said Character I disliked won so :/

And now I tried again at having fun with one, and due to bad luck and I suppose bad choices on my part all but one of the Characters I submitted were dropped in the Qualifying Polls, and the one that did make it was put into what I genuinely believe was the most unfair position it could possibly have been in. Seriously, I'm not sure how the luck could have been worse there. And I know it was luck, I won't get mad at anyone over it (especially because the tournament host is a nice person), but damn, my fucking luck fucking sucks. And with how the actual polls are set up I feel little-to-no-reason to actual care about the polls, not just because I don't care about most of the Characters taking part but because most of the most popular Characters are on the right side, and based off the kinds of people submitting to the tournament I know at least one of those Characters are gonna have obnoxious campaigns led by assholes that're proud of being assholes pulling randos from wherever they can to add to votes. That's all assuming that one of the Characters involved doesn't win another tournament, with the same theme to boot.

I'm just so tired. I'm not even getting into how there's apparently been other kinds of drama with other tournaments that I haven't really kept up with, but even ignoring drama I'm just so sick of the tournaments in general. It feels like every other day there are two or three more tournaments and they keep making more and more arbitrary categories like "Best Blue-Haired Character!", "Best Character with a Stutter!", "Best Little Brother!" And, I mean, people are allowed to do what they want but I'm also allowed do dislike what I want and I just don't get how people can get invested in one Tournament, let alone the half a dozen I see when I'm just browsing peoples' blogs.

Tournaments just suck, honestly. At best it's praying that a Character you like has a big enough fanbase and/or isn't put up against someone from one of the most fucking popular indie games in the world. At worst you're dealing with people that are extremely annoying about the Character they like because that shit seems to be encouraged in this situation. The most annoying person I know keeps getting wins with their Characters so whatever.

I'm just gonna mute any Tournament Tags I see from here on out and just try to ignore that side. It'll suck ass when people don't actually make unique tags for their Tournament posts (I know of at least one like that right now) but it's the best I can think of.

...I'm gonna bury this. I was already pretty frustrated lately so that may or may not be making me more upset about this shit than I otherwise would be but whatever.

[koreposion]

Dream: I don't like...Swap sometimes.

Nightmare: What an odd predicament, why not?

Dream: Surely you know! He tastes so... sickly sweet, it's terrible, sadistic joy and what not.

Nightmare: Positivity is positivity, you cannot be picky, and he has an abundance of it. Indulge him, and use him as you see fit, I don't see what the issue is here.

Dream: Yeah! Of course you don't see the problem because all of your dogs are weird and fucked up and you like them to be that way. And they don't find their work to be too stressful, I can't just drag another Swap AU sans into this mess this late in. He's the best I got.

Nightmare: I like my dogs weird and fucked up, yes. But that's exactly the reason why we work so well, you cling to this humane idea of seeing the good in everyone. We're Gods, they are not, simply learn how to get away from this base feeling of guilt when it comes to him tormenting others. After all, greater good, right?

Dream:...But I like feeling guilty sometimes. Makes me understand what type of suffering I can inflict on others if I'm not careful but he doesn't do that. He just does it for fun and I cannot bring myself to be that way for the sake of teamwork.

Nightmare: Your issue is, is that you think you have to do as he does. What the solution is simply letting him do as he does and you can do as you must. There is no reason for you to like him but if he is a good source of energy then...well. Milk him for what he's worth.

Dream: Maybe you're right...I feel like I'm over thinking this, but I've been thinking about expanding anyway! However the skulls I have in mind aren't a good source of energy like he is. Well, maybe Black but Black is... unpredictable.

Nightmare: I find any swap variant to be unpredictable, after all it depends on what type of version you get based on a creator's perception of said AU.

Dream: Bluh! Bluhhh! I hate making decisions!

[creepy--claws]

[● HELP ME I'M NOT NORMAL AUGHUHH WHY CAN'T I HAVE NORMAL REACTIONS TO THINGS

I am simply vibing, listening to my tunes and lightly lip syncing to them because what else do you do when it is almost time to leave and my buddy comes up and is like "who are you talking to?" And I go "nobody, I'm lip syncing my tunez" and he goes "Oh that's kind of cute ^_^" and I say nothing in response but on the inside I am like "NO IT IS NOT, MORTAL, YOU DON'T KNOW I AM LISTENING TO THE MOST FUCKED UP SHIT YOUR SIMPLE HUMAN MIND CANNOT COMPREHEND AND I AM ASCENDING TO THE NEXT LAYER OF THE UNIVERSE BLUH BLUH BLUH!!!!!!!!" and then I think "what the fuck was that thought I had just now"

The same thing happened when I pronounced "nice" in a weird quirked up way and the same guy goes "why did that sound kind of cute" and I once again am normal on the outside but internally I go "YOU FOOL! YOU DON'T SEE THE TRUTH ABOUT WHY I SAY "NYAICE" INSTEAD OF SAYING IT NORMALLY! I AM ON A DIFFERENT LEVEL THAN ALL OF YOU, ONE YOUR SIMPLE MIND COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND! YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE WAYS OF THE- holy shit calm down Disney villain"

I think I have adapted another trait or something where I am set off whenever I feel I am being patronized even if that is not the truth

I become the ultimate edgelord as soon as I am undermined

If it's same old "ur small" I will just come at them and be on with my day, but it isn't everyday someone labels something I do as "cute" and I don't like it. Like no I am not cute I am super fucked up and horrifying beyond belief I am an edgy fucked up freakshow and you'll never know who I truly am

How do I uninstall this, I have a feeling I know why it happens but like. How do I uninstall trauma responses-]

[girl--help]

So hard to feel sympathy for my mom because on one hand yeah I get it and I feel for her the world is changing and she wants some things to stay the same but on the other hand like. I don't know. I'm never going to convince her that removing statues isn't about erasing history, just about not glorifying it. And I'm never going to convince her that the princesses she has still exist the way she likes them, even if new versions are being made. If you don't want Cinderella to be black, you can still watch the classic Cinderella! No one is taking her away from you! I don't know. I just upset her really bad because I thought the m&m's backlash was dumb. She says my generation isn't attached to anything and it's what's wrong with us. All we want to do is change and destroy everything. I'm just tired of fucking up everything I say to her. I really didn't mean to hurt her feelings. I was trying to laugh at like. Fox news anchors who yelled about it, not my parents. Bluh. With I would think before talking.