#but I also have more childhood ones because we didn't get nearly enough of that I need a million times more lol

[lyssala]

It was a nice room, so nice that she insisted it go to someone else more deserving. She didn't mind sleeping in a room with multiple people, with mothers and children. None of the survivors from the Hideaway had separate rooms while they were trying to find a new place to survive.

They would simply find a place big enough to house them all and do their best to get some sleep. It was never quiet nor comfortable, but Jill slept better there than she ever did in this room.

Of course, those situations also coincided with Clive sleeping only an arm's reach away.

Her fingers picked at some of the broken wood on the railing of the balcony. The ocean breeze was cool, but her face felt unbearably hot.

Jill knew why; she knew why since she was ten years old. It was realizing why she liked to watch Clive train, or why everything seemed so lonely when he wasn't with her, or why she slept so much better when the last thing she saw was him. A silly crush for a little girl who thought the handsome young Lord Rosfield hung the stars in the sky just for her.

-------------------------

A collection of one-shots to tell the stories between canon; the ones hinted at and alluded to but never quite giving the whole story. Of memories mentioned briefly while reminiscing, of quiet moments left unseen, of how a relationship can go from two kids with crushes to two adults in love.

Each chapter takes place at a different point in canon; all chapter notes contain the time frame upfront to help those who are still avoiding spoilers.

[reasonsforhope]

Flint, Michigan, has one of the [United States]'s highest rates of child poverty — something that got a lot of attention during the city's lead water crisis a decade ago. And a pediatrician who helped expose that lead problem has now launched a first-of-its-kind move to tackle poverty: giving every new mother $7,500 in cash aid over a year.

A baby's first year is crucial for development. It's also a time of peak poverty.

Flint's new cash transfer program, Rx Kids, starts during pregnancy. The first payment is $1,500 to encourage prenatal care. After delivery, mothers will get $500 a month over the baby's first year.

"What happens in that first year of life can really portend your entire life course trajectory. Your brain literally doubles in size in the first 12 months," says Hanna-Attisha, who's also a public health professor at Michigan State University.

A baby's birth is also a peak time for poverty. Being pregnant can force women to cut back hours or even lose a job. Then comes the double whammy cost of child care.

Research has found that stress from childhood poverty can harm a person's physical and mental health, brain development and performance in school. Infants and toddlers are more likely than older children to be put into foster care, for reasons that advocates say conflate neglect with poverty.

In Flint, where the child poverty rate is more than 50%, Hanna-Attisha says new moms are in a bind. "We just had a baby miss their 4-day-old appointment because mom had to go back to work at four days," she says...

Benefits of Cash Aid

Studies have found such payments reduce financial hardship and food insecurity and improve mental and physical health for both mothers and children.

The U.S. got a short-lived taste of that in 2021. Congress temporarily expanded the child tax credit, boosting payments and also sending them to the poorest families who had been excluded because they didn't make enough to qualify for the credit. Research found that families mostly spent the money on basic needs. The bigger tax credit improved families' finances and briefly cut the country's child poverty rate nearly in half.

"We saw food hardship dropped to the lowest level ever," Shaefer says. "And we saw credit scores actually go to the highest that they'd ever been in at the end of 2021."

Critics worried that the expanded credit would lead people to work less, but there was little evidence of that. Some said they used the extra money for child care so they could go to work.

As cash assistance in Flint ramps up, Shaefer will be tracking not just its impact on financial well-being, but how it affects the roughly 1,200 babies born in the city each year.

"We're going to see if expectant moms route into prenatal care earlier," he says. "Are they able to go more? And then we'll be able to look at birth outcomes," including birth weight and neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) admissions.

Since the pandemic, dozens of cash aid pilots have popped up across the nation. But unlike them, Rx Kids is not limited to lower-income households. It's universal, which means every new mom will get the same amount of money. "You pit people against each other when you draw that line in the sand and say, 'You don't need this, and you do,' " Shaefer says. It can also stigmatize families who get the aid, he says, as happened with traditional welfare...

So far, there's more than $43 million to keep the program going for three years. Funders include foundations, health insurance companies and the state of Michigan, which allocated a small part of its federal cash aid, known as Temporary Assistance for Needy Families.

Money can buy more time for bonding with a baby

Alana Turner can't believe her luck with Flint's new cash benefits. "I was just shocked because of the timing of it all," she says.

Turner is due soon with her second child, a girl. She lives with her aunt and her 4-year-old son, Ace. After he was born, her car broke down and she was seriously cash-strapped, negotiating over bill payments. This time, she hopes she won't have to choose between basic needs.

"Like, I shouldn't have to think about choosing between are the lights going to be on or am I going to make sure the car brakes are good," she says...

But since she'll be getting an unexpected $7,500 over the next year, Turner has a new goal. With her first child, she was back on the job in less than six weeks. Now, she hopes she'll be able to slow down and spend more time with her daughter.

"I don't want to sacrifice the time with my newborn like I had to for my son, if I don't have to," she says."

-via NPR, March 12, 2024

[princessmaybank]

Never Have I Ever

Pairings: Rudy x Fem!Co-star!Reader

Warnings: Dual POV, Surprise kiss, alcohol, handjob, oral (both), unprotected p in v, etc.

Summary: You play Never Have I Ever in an interview and secrets get revealed.

Authors Note: This is my first Rudy fic and my first fic in a long time! Should I do more Rudy Fics in the future? Not proof-read and sorry it's so long! Let me know what you think!

"Hello and welcome back! I'm here with some of the cast of Outer Banks, not everyone was able to make it tonight, but we are happy to have all of you!" The TV host announced to the camera.

"Please go around the couch and introduce yourselves!" They said extremely excited. "Sup, I'm JD, I play Pope." "Hey, I'm Chase, I play John B." "Hi, I'm Rudy Pankow, I get to play JJ Maybank." "Hi guys! I'm Y/F/N Y/L/N! I play Harper!" "Heyyyyy everybodyyyyy I'm Carlacia Grant, I play Cleo!" "And I'm Drew Starkey, I play Rafe Cameron."

Everyone in the audience clapped when the cast was done with their introductions.

"We asked you, the audience, which game you'd like to see them play, and the answer that came out on top was *drum rolls with their fingers on the desk* Never Have I Ever!" The audience cheers, clearly excited to get all the juicy details.

"Now you guys can't get mad at me! These questions were asked by the viewers." The host lets out a laugh. "Sure, we all know these are the spicy questions you want the answer to." JD teases causing the host and audience to laugh.

"Let's get started! You each get a paddle with Have and Have Not on it. You'll turn the paddle depending on your answer, seem simple enough?" The host smiles. "You sure we can't do anything else with the paddle?" Chase smirked with a giggle, which made everyone start laughing. "Dirty mind Chase!" The host announced. "I never said what for!" Chase turned to Rudy and hit him on the arm with the paddle. Rudy didn't even say ow, he just began to pretend to cry.

The audience was loving everything they were hearing from you all. So far the cast has admitted to pranking people on set, forgetting lines, showing up late, improvising lines, things about childhood, some more explicit questions, etc. It was down to the last few questions at this point. Everyone was having fun just sitting and answering these questions, they all learned a bit more about each other.

Y/N's POV:

I can't stand the anxiety I felt when I heard the next question. I didn't want to lie because I'm not a good liar, but I also didn't want anyone to know. "Never Have I Ever had a crush on-set!" The host smiled, waiting for the drama that will ensue with this question.

One by one everyone changed their paddles.

Drew: Never

Carlacia: Never

Chase: I Have

JD: Never

Me: I Have

Rudy: I Have

My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I saw Rudy's paddle flip, but I tried to hide my reaction.

Rudy's POV:

She flipped her paddle to 'I Have'...I don't know if I should be hurt or excited about this. I wonder if she knows. I looked over to Y/N to make sure I wasn't seeing things and her eyes were already on me. I watched as she quickly changed her gaze to something different, it seems like she was flustered or embarrassed.

Y/N's POV:

After our interview was over, we all decided to go grab some dinner together. JD, Chase, and Rudy sat across from Drew, Carlacia and I. After we all ordered we just started a casual conversation about wrapping up filming.

As I reached for my drink I felt a pair of eyes on me. I looked up and immediately spotted Rudy looking at me, he seemed kind of nervous and quickly looked away. I couldn't stop my wandering thoughts. My eyes traveled to his hair, his beautiful, soft, blonde hair that looked so tuggable. I looked at his lips, those plush pink lips, I'd love to feel them on every inch of my body. My teeth bit the inside of my lip as I started feeling a wetness pool between my legs.

I excused myself from the table so I could use the restroom and get my thoughts in order. As I walked out of the bathroom I almost bumped into someone. Without looking up I say sorry. Before I could react I was slammed against the hallway wall with lips pressed against mine. My eyes widened as I realized who has me pinned against the wall.

Rudy's POV:

I couldn't keep myself contained anymore. I said I had to go to the bathroom a few minutes after she left, just so I could have a private moment with her. I just needed to talk. I needed to reveal my true feelings for her, I've sat back in silence for far too long. I thought I would have more time to think about what I would say, but instead she came out of the bathroom almost immediately after I got to the hallway. I panicked, I had no idea what to do so I grabbed her and pinned her to the wall, attached my lips to hers. We both moaned into the kiss and that's when we realized the kiss lasted longer than expected.

The two of us pulled away and stared at each other in shock. "We'll talk later." Is what she whispered to me before heading to the table. I hid in the bathroom for a few minutes before heading back to the others.

Y/N's POV:

'What the hell just happened?' Is what I kept asking myself. It came out of nowhere. When I sat back down Carlacia looked at me with a smirk. I give her a look that says 'what?'. She responded with a whisper in my ear. "Your lipstick is all smudged." She giggled and handed me a compact mirror. I hurry to grab it from her and inspect my makeup.

I felt someone's eyes on me and looked up. Rudy's mouth was covered in red lipstick. Carlacia was the only one to notice and you could easily tell by her face that she was shocked. So were we. Before he could make it to the table I pulled him back to that same hallway as before. "Woah- what'd I do now?" He questioned. I only held the mirror up to his face in response. "You didn't look in the mirror before coming back out?!" I whisper shouted. He only shrugged to my question.

I decided to check the women's restroom and realized no one was in there. I hurriedly pulled him in and towards the sinks after I shut and locked the entrance. I grabbed some paper towels and wet them so he could take off the makeup. "Can you take it off for meee?" He asked so sweetly with those gorgeous, enchanting, blue, puppy dog eyes. I smile and get close to him, inspecting his mouth. His hands found my hips and held me close. My hand with the paper towel found his face and I was going so slow, I didn't want this to end. In fact I wanted to grab him by the face and do it a thousand more times. Those perfect lips.. and I was able to feel them on one part that I needed him tonight, how lucky am I? Gotta get those lips everywhere else next.

We locked eyes for a moment. Rudy looked hungry for more. Before I could ask him anything, he backed me up against the wall as his lips attacked mine again. My hand dropped the paper towel from the sudden jolt. Our eyes were closed but I felt his hands wandering my body. As his fingers inched closer to where I needed him most he pulled away but his arms trapped me against the wall.

"It's me right...it was about me?" He asked with a slight amount of pain in his voice. I looked at him confused. "w-wha-" Before I could even finish my question he interrupted me. "Don't play dumb, you're a smart girl. The game. Your answer to the last question..." He stated with hurt riddling his face. I realized he was talking about the game of never have I ever back at the interview. "Rudy...who else would it be about??" I questioned. He shrugged his shoulders and looked a little insecure in the moment. "I've seen how you look at Drew, and I can't handle the back and forth Y/N." I look at him like he's crazy. "What do you mean how I look at Drew??" I was louder and sounded upset now. "You look at him like you want to marry him or ya know, like at least fuck him.." My eyes nearly popped out of my head when Rudy spoke. "Rudy. I don't like Drew like that! He's always been just a friend and more like a brother!" I take a moment to look into his eyes and it looks like they flash for a second. "I've only liked one person on set this entire time and that's you Rudy." He paints a sad smile on his face before speaking. "I'm sorry I assumed." His head drops along with his arms. I'm not sure what to say, so I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him close. My head rested on his chest and we just held each other.

Our moment didn't last much longer. We heard a knock on the bathroom door and I remembered the door was locked. I pushed Rudy into a stall and told him not to come out. I finally opened the door and I have to say Carlacia was the last person I expected to see at the moment.

"Are you okay? You've been over here a long time, JD is checking on Rudy too." My eyes go wide as she says Rudy's name. "Oh - I uhm I'm sure he's fine." Almost on cue JD runs over. "He's not in there and he's not picking up his phone!" He rushed, freaking out about his best friend. "I'm sure he's okay." I smiled but that made Carlacia give me a squint. "Let me in." She sounded firm, I just shook my head no as she continued to repeat her statement. "Y/N. I'm getting in there one way or another. I suggest the easier way." When the word 'no' left my lips she immediately pushed past me, followed by JD with his hands over his eyes.

"Rudyyyy, ya in here buddy?" JD asked from behind his hands. Carlacia moved his hands and pointed to the closed stall that had some nice dress shoes sitting at the bottom. "Just give it up, come on out.." I said slowly. He made his way out and we were immediately questioned. We told them everything besides the kissing and that we are deeply in love, but I don't think it's important information anyway. He came up with the brilliant idea of saying my lips bumped into his and that's why he had the lipstick on him. Note my sarcasm when I said brilliant.

They could tell we were lying and hiding information but they just let it be as we walked back to Drew and Chase.

It didn't take long for us to pack up and leave. Rudy and I decided to just take our food to go so we wouldn't be a burden to the others. Drew drove here and Chase lived nearby so he took him home. Carlacia also drove here and as I pleaded for her to let me get a ride home, she pulled JD into her car. "Enjoy your ride." She winked and looked at Rudy, causing a blush to run to my cheeks. Before I could say anything else she drove off. "I'll drive you home." Rudy smiled at me. I nodded to him as a thank you before getting in his car.

The ride was silent up until now, well except for the radio, but we had been trapped in a sexual tension that felt tighter any time one of us tried to talk. Rudy was the one to break it of course, I never would've had the balls to do it. "You're a damn good kisser.." he smirked. "but next time, don't smear your lipstick all over my face." He glanced over to me with a sultry smile. I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my lips when I heard him. The response I had stopped halfway up my throat when I realized he said 'next time'. There was a next time??? Thank fuck. My heart nearly exploded as I played his words over in my head.

The car came to a stop before I could get myself too soaked from the memories. "Welcome home." He said gesturing to my house. But when I turned my head to look at my house I saw that it in fact was not mine. "This is your house Rudy..." He only nodded in response before he got out and helped me out of his car. Rudy somehow persuaded me to come in for a little while to hang out or talk or something. It honestly didn't take much, I'm whipped for this man.

I was sat on his couch when Rudy came up behind me, handing a glass of wine to me. Before he came around the couch to sit with me, his hand lingered on my shoulder, squeezing a few times. His arm wrapped around my shoulders as he sipped on his drink I could only assume it was some type of whiskey.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked with a hint of liquid courage running through my veins. He nodded as he placed his lips on his glass once again. "How long have you liked me?" He let out some air he was holding in and set his drink on the table in front of us. "Well..." He started, snuggling closer to me. "it hasn't been too long...just since the second week of filming this season." That was nearly a year ago. Not too long my ass. "Why didn't you say anything?" I pried. "Why didn't you?" His crystal blue orbs finally stared back into mine. His lips were formed into a teasing smirk but when neither of us decided to break the silence, his face fell. Rudy's eyes never strayed from mine, in fact as I stared back into his, I noticed they only got darker when he began looking between my eyes and my lips.

Before we both knew it, Rudy's hand cupped my cheek and pulled my lips to meet his. Fireworks started to explode in my chest as our little kiss suddenly got more heated. He pulled me onto his lap and our bodies started to work together to create the friction we both desperately craved.

"Ah shit-" He pulled us apart. "how far ya wanna take this baby..?" He heaved out as my heart fluttered from the nickname. Without saying anything I slid off of his lap while his head was thrown back, gasping in air, trying to catch his breath. My knees touched the ground while my hands ran up and down his thighs.

"Before I continue...is this okay?" I ask with a squeeze to his thighs. "Yes.." He said so quietly I barely heard him. My hands spread his legs farther apart and my lips pressed to the zipper holding back his erection. I peppered kisses all around his bulge and thighs. "M-more please.." He begged, caressing my cheek.

My fingers laced around his belt buckle and tore the accessory from his body. While I was tossing it to the side, Rudy slid his dress pants down. I removed them from his ankles and threw them over with the belt. "These too.." I tugged on the waistband of his briefs.

He happily and eagerly obliged. When his cock sprung free from his fabric-jail, my eyes grew wider. Rudy was big, and I don't just mean 'big' to boost his ego, I mean I am actually scared this man will hurt me with his size.

Rudy must've noticed my stare and concern based on his reply. "It will fit.. I'll make it fit baby." He chuckled lightly. A redness rushed to my cheeks as I heard him call me that nickname again.

Before I could waste anymore time, I wrapped my hand around the base of his thick cock. He immediately grunted from the contact and threw his head back. Rudy only met my eyes after he heard me spit and felt my saliva running down his length. I quickly moved my hand to spread the wetness around, followed by a few more spits to completely cover him. His breathing was heavy, I could tell by how his chest was rising and falling.

Rudy's eyes met mine when my hand began moving for his pleasure. A small moan escaped his throat as I continued slowly. "f-fuck...fas-faster baby..." I pumped him a few more times then slid my mouth around him. This took him by surprise but he wasn't complaining. His hand met the back of my head, he wasn't pushing me, only rested it there, making sure I didn't stop. My head bobbed up and down as I gagged on his dick. Our eyes met, mine full of tears, his full of pleasure.

His thumbs pressed to my cheeks and wiped away stray tears, that I tried so hard to not let slip out. "Don't stop..please baby.." There were those butterflies in my stomach. He reached out and helped me go up and down on him.

Now he was forcing my head down and thrusting into my mouth and down my throat. "Ah..fuck..so good, so fuckin' good." He hissed. My eyes were closed, somehow helping with the blissful abuse I was receiving. "Such a good fuckin' girl for me...c'mon take my cum baby.." He groaned. His hips spasmed as his load shot down my throat.

I swallowed it all down and left his dick with a 'pop' sound. My lips licked at the fluids daring to escape. We both sat back for a moment and caught our breath. With a small smirk and light laugh Rudy stared at me. "What?" I chuckled. "I'm gonna fuck you so good..I haven't came that hard since high school." He said in amazement. All I could do was smile at his promise.

Rudy's POV:

She looked so good on her knees for me. Her hair is a mess no thanks to me. Also lipstick smeared, mascara running down her cheeks, a mix of cum and spit slipping from her swollen lips, once again all me. I saw her catch her breath and lick her lips, swallowing the mixture. She is so beautiful, I couldn't help but let out a giggle while watching her. "What?" She let her own giggle slip out. "I'm gonna fuck you so good..I haven't came that hard since high school." I meant it too. Every word. Her smile was enough to let me know she was happy about my statement.

We took a few more breaths before I pulled her up onto my lap. I held her close and captured her lips with my own. My hands cupped her ass and squeezed every time her hips grinded into me.

Y/N was desperate to get my shirt off. I sat there naked, with a pretty girl, clothed, in my lap. My hands wandered under her shirt, and she helped me remove it from her body. She whined every time our lips were pulled away from each other, which made my dick twitch under her.

When our lips found the others again, we kissed with much hunger and even more passion. What I said in the car came back to me. Something about not smearing her lipstick on me next time. Too fuckin' late. It's true we did like each other, and I'm mentally kicking myself for having sex with her before taking her on a date first. Though we both agreed to this, I feel bad that this is how it's starting. I promised myself to definitely take her out for a nice dinner or whatever the hell she wants to do, after this.

I was thrown out of my overthinking when she left my lap. "What's wrong?" Oh no. Could she hear my thoughts? I squinted and began to think of random things, testing out the telekinesis.

Pizza.

42.

Barbie.

Super Mario Bros.

Y/N.

Her perfect tits.

Her plump ass.

Her stripping in front of me.

Wait.

Her stripping in front of me?!

I was pulled back in, again. This time she was standing in front of me, giving me a strip tease. Y/N wiggled her ass in my face while she was bent over and shimmying out of her pants. My dick was standing at attention, waiting to get fondled. I couldn't help myself. My right hand found my dick and slowly pumped, I was still a little sensitive but I overall didn't give a shit. My left hand reached out and slapped her ass. She hadn't expected it based on her little jump. That only excited me more when I saw it jiggle. Her delicate fingers found her pretty lace thong and tugged down slowly. My jaw nearly dropped when I saw her dripping wet cunt.

Once again I couldn't contain myself. I let go of my cock and spread her legs. My hands squeezed her ass at the same time my tongue played with her perfect pussy. She tipped forward and placed her hands on the coffee table, trying to steady her shaky legs. I felt like I could bust again just from her moans alone. They were so small and precious, my eyes rolled back from the mix of her moans and the taste of her pussy.

Next I shoved my tongue inside her tight hole, swirling it around, making sure I reached every spot I possibly could. Like the needy little girl she is..she started pushing back onto my tongue. Y/N was fucking herself with my tongue. I could only ever dream of this moment.

"Fuck- I'm gonna cum.." She whined. Her legs were shaking as my tongue only quickened its movements. My fingers found her clit, and moved in harsh circles in hopes of tipping her over the edge. My other arm wrapped around her waist to support her when she releases.

"Oh Rudy, fuck-!" She humped my tongue again as her liquid poured out of her juicy pussy and onto my tongue. I swallowed every drop before I turned her around and pulled her onto my lap again.

Y/N took my head in her hands and our mouths made a mess together. Her hands pulled on my golden locks while my hands snaked between us. I grabbed my cock and teased her entrance with my tip. "Please.." She begged, gasping for air. "Please what baby? Use your words." I teased. "Mmm please fuck me.." She whined rolling her head back.

I didn't waste anymore time teasing. My dick slipped right inside of her. We both let out a hiss as she slid down onto my cock. "Mmm.. so good.." She whimpered while my hips rocked softly back and forth. Y/N gently grinded down on my dick, simply being needy. "C'mon Rudy... please..." She whined some more.

I couldn't handle it anymore, so I flipped our position, she was laying on the couch with me on top of her. My dick never slipped out of her either. Before I moved inside of her, I brought my lips to hers. Our moans consumed each other as my hips slapped against hers. "Oh fuck mmm...Y/N..." I grunted into her mouth. Her eyes rolled back and I quickened my pace. "Hard-harder..." She breathed out. What my girl wants, she gets, so I pounded harder against her. I felt her sweet little pussy start to clench around me and I knew she was almost there. I felt her nails start digging into my back which was almost enough to throw me over. "I'm gonna cum Rudy- I'm gonna cum..." Y/N panted. Never thought I'd hear those words come from her perfect pink lips, but I'm glad they came out. "Me too baby, mmm cum with me.." I said grunting as I pulled myself from her pussy. Her fingers found her clit and she screamed my name. That was enough for me as I fisted my cock. My cum shot out onto her, covering almost every part of her. Some hit her face, a good bit landed on her tits, and the rest spilled onto her stomach. We were riding out our highs together, catching our breaths.

We both let out a loving laugh when we came back down. "Can't believe that just happened.." She giggled. "In a good way or bad way?" I questioned. She rolled her eyes and told me good obviously. Just wanted to hear her say it. "So where does our relationship stand?" She asked sheepishly. "Where do you want it to stand? I'm happy to throw a label on this baby." I pointed my first finger back and forth between us. "I wanna be with you..." She said while twiddling her fingers. I could feel my heart nearly burst out of my chest from her confession. I nodded and pulled her onto me so we were cuddling. "I want the same thing baby." I pressed a small kiss to her lips. "Will you be my girlfriend?" I asked, praying that she wasn't playing with my feelings. "It would be an honor." She smiled and kissed my lips with a bit of passion. "Wanna go again?" Y/N asked, full of eagerness. She bit her lip as she awaited my response. I bit my lip and nodded. She came closer before I pulled her down to kiss me again. Never have I ever thought of a better way to end my night.

[aroaceleovaldez]

one of the things i'm most disappointed in HoO with is how the series sets up a really beautiful continuity to the first series but now extending from a primary focus on disability to a wider focus on intersectionality (which in itself is a REALLY fascinating place to discuss particularly Percy's character and the overlap between his experiences as a disabled student and how many readers interpret his experiences as him experiencing racial bigotry in part due to his racial ambiguity and how those experiences have overlap and what does that look like for specifically a disabled student of color, etc etc) - like, there is so much set-up for so many things: we have the introduction of a bunch of new major characters, the majority of whom are explicitly not white. We have set-up for queer intersectionality topics (Nico, Jason's bi-coding, Piper being mspec as well eventually). We have set-up for gender intersectionality (all of the girls and the intersection of their disabilities and gender and for everyone other than Annabeth also the intersectionality of gender and race). We even have other forms of disability than just the primary focus of ADHD/dyslexia coming to the table with stuff like Frank having dyspraxia coding, Frank and Hazel both having childhood terminal illness survivor coding, Hazel having seizure coding, Leo having autism coding and Nico's autism coding making a comeback, Percy's book 1 PTSD even gets some references in Son of Neptune, Leo and Nico's depression get big spotlights, also Nico's general grappling with becoming weaker and new physical disability. Heck you could even dive into Jason grappling with gifted kid syndrome and how that plays into his experience with ADHD/dyslexia versus someone like Percy whose same learning disabilities present differently. There's so much set up right at the beginning of the series to dive into...!

...and then Rick does literally nothing with any of that. and it sucks. and then in TOA he does even less with it and just drops nearly all of the disability stuff in general which sucks even MORE. Also it's all made even worse by dropping or magicing-away the existing disability coding because Rick changed his mind about it (Frank's dyspraxia and Hazel's fainting episodes going away, etc etc)

Like, TKC emphasized the themes about how the Kane Siblings grapple with colorism a lot! MCGA talks about queer topics and disability and how those intersect with homelessness! The entire first series has SUCH in-depth metaphors about disability! But HoO and TOA just totally drop the ball about it and don't even try! The most TOA ever gives is the world's blandest directly-spoken-to-the-audience one sentence blurb and pretends that qualifies as representation and that they've fulfilled their quota. TSATS is even worse about the disability erasure and speaking directly to the screen and calling that representation, not to mention how little the TV show erased the majority of references to disability from TLT alongside Percy's PTSD and made Sally an autism speaks mom while they were at it. And while I haven't read it yet I hear CoTG is equally not great about how it handles Percy's disabilities (or Annabeth's).

HoO could have given us so much but it didn't and i will never forgive it for that 😔 also the fandom could stand to talk more about intersectionality cause it's a really interesting topic and there's so much opportunity to explore it in the Riordanverse that does not get nearly enough discussion.

[cy-cyborg]

I'm getting a little tierd of the idea because amputees get more representation in media, it means rep for our disability is better and we "have enough"

People are right, we do have way more rep than really any other disability, im not going to deny that, and ive joked before about how often people write amputees without even realising it. So you would think, by sheer numbers, we should have at least some good representation, but by-and-large that is not the case. Legitimatly, the closest example I can think of to point to of good amputee rep is Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood and even that uses multiple tropes I hate (the miracle cure/quest for the miracle cure, the almost perfect prosthetic replacement/forgetting the chatacter is an amputee until it breaks or needs repairs, refusal to call prosthetics, "prosthetics" (automail), the amputee who can't do anything without a prosthetic) and they call Ed a slur for another disability (m*dget) CONSTANTLY. I love fmab deeply, it legitimatly helped me feel seen and represented as a childhood amputee in a way no other show has even come close to, and when it gets it right, it gets it really right, but it's also very far from great and should not be the best example I can think of. Especially nearly 15 years after it released...

A big part of the reason why I don't read many books anymore is because of the sheer amount of books with downright offensively bad amputee rep, some of which were touted as good by people with other disabilities and were recommended to me as good examples. others times, I wasn't even looking for books with amputee/disability rep, it just popped up. It has ruined one of my childhood hobbies for me. Ive tried to get back into reading again as an adult but it hasn't gotten better in that time i was away. I was kicked out of 3 different scifi writing groups on facebook and reddit for asking people to remember "cybernetic enhancement" users are amputees - a real group of people, and maybe debating weather or not we're less human isnt great, and for pointing out seeing those discussions every day was making me feel pretty unwelcome in that space (yes i know, "real" cyberpunk isnt trying to say that, i had to turn notifications off on my post about the topic, it doesnt change the fact that newer creators in the genre dont seem to get that bit, that ive seen cyberpunk writers in these spaces say that debating weather people who loose more parts of their body were less human was, in fact, their intent but they hadnt even considered the fact this made their chatacters amputees, it doesnt change the fact that these tropes, intentionally or not, help make those spaces hostile for disabled fans/creators, especially amputees).

But yeah, I should be thankful I get more rep than other disabilities, no matter the quality, right?

It doesn't just stop at being me being made uncomfortable, though. The sheer, overwhelming amount of amputee chatacters with "perfect prosthetics" has had a noticeable impact on how we are perceived irl. In my lifetime, the general idea people have about multi-limbed amputees in particular has gone from "literally the worst thing that can happen to a person and the worst disability to have" to "is it even a disability? The prosthetic fixes it". These are both wildly untrue and harmful ideas about my disability that were both perpetuated by media, but now that the second one is taking root, it's causing real problems. I have not been shy in talking about how I have to fight to maintain my NDIS funding every time I get something done with my prosthetics, and had to get my prosthetist to sign off, twice, that my fancy prosthetic knee that costs the same as a higher-end new car ($125,000 AUD) is not, in fact a cure and I still need help with other things. It took me nearly 2 years to get a new wheelchair because they didn't understand why I needed it if I had the prosthetics - which to be honest, is not comfortable for me to wear, let alone use all day every day. Guys this isn't just assholes on the street or on twitter saying dumb shit, it's the people in the government body who decide how much funding I get to help with my disability who beleive it. People who have very real control over my life. It's not entirely the media's fault, but when the sheer, overwhelming majority of representation for people like me confirms that belief, it's hard to ignore the possibility that these portrayals are contributing to it, you know?

Which makes it so frustrating when I come on here and see other disability writing advice blogs saying to not write amputees because they have so much representation already. We do, I can acknowledge that, but the vast, vast majority of it is shit, and no one, not even other disabled people, are listening to us about it. And what makes it even worse, is the people they're advising to not writing amputees are the creators who care enough to be doing the research. They're the ones willing to listen, to ask questions. They could be the start of the positive change. But instead they're advised to not even bother with us.

And don't get me wrong, other disabilities ARE under-represented. There are so many disabilities, including some I have myself, that I've never seen represented as anything other than the butt of a joke. There does need to be more reprentation of disabilities other than amputation and limb differences. 100%! but can you please talk about that without saying "amputees have enough"

This isn't even touching on how amputees/people with limb differences who dont/cant use prosthetics, or even folks who use prosthetics sometimes but not others, are almost never represented unless it's for pitty-porn, or how the non-fictional media's (news outlets, etc) portrayal of amputees in particular is used to justify hurting very real, very vunderable people but this rant is long enough and honestly, ive got enough thoughts to make whole other posts on those subjects. That second one in particular deserves its own (more thought-out) spotlight and shouldn't be a footnote in a frustrated rant post lol.

[orions-choker]

Hiii can I request sharing a bed with 80’s Kirk and Jason and they fight for your affections before realizing that they can just share you??

In The Middle ( Jason x Reader x Kirk )

Warnings: Threesome, Face-fucking, Unprotected Sex.

Word Count: 3,247

(Sorry this took so long to get to! Also I realize now that you didn't explicitly request smut but that's all this is so woops! If you would like something SFW please shoot me another request)

“So who’s bright idea was it to only book two rooms?” James growled, breaking the thick tension that had settled amongst the group. The five of them stood in the mostly empty hotel lobby, body’s slack from the exhaustion settling deep into their bones. 

The bright fluorescent lights overhead had Y/N wincing, she could feel the tension coiling at the front of her head. “One of the roadies, it doesn’t fucking matter man lets just figure out who’s sleeping where.” She stumbled backwards into one of the old armchairs. Her fingers rubbing at her temples to ease the growing pain. 

There were some more dissatisfied rumblings amongst the boys. They hadn’t been forced to share a room in a while, and while they could normally afford to book an extra couple rooms had this occurred, the hotel was fully booked. “So we have to split into a group of three and a group of two.” Kirk, the only voice of reason at the moment, spoke up. “I call dibs on Jason.” 

Jason’s brow raised curiously. “I mean I’m flattered but why?” He asked, shuffling the weight of his bag from one shoulder to the other. His eyes darted towards where Y/N sat. The obvious choice would be to pick her as a roommate. 

A childhood friend of Lars’s Y/N had started tagging along on the tours as a sound tech. She had grown increasingly close with all the boys, particularly Kirk and Jason. Possibly because they weren’t the only ones actively trying to sleep with her at every opportunity. It had been a band decision to keep her on their personal bus. 

“Because the other two smell like booze and won’t shut the fuck up.” Y/N filled in helpfully, standing back up. “Which is why I’m choosing you guys as well, that settles it. They can share the other room.” She hoisted her bag up, wandering towards the elevator. 

Lar’s and James shared a disappointed look. “That’s not fair I’ve known you the longest, shouldn't you want to room with me?” Lars trailed after her, offense dripping from his slightly slurred words. She didn’t dignify the outburst with a response. 

 With a chime the elevator doors popped open. The five of them piled inside, bodies pressed together as they shoved inside the cramped space. Y/N had been shoved to the front, pressed against the doors by James' much larger body caged around her. Her elbow rocketed back into his stomach, forcing him further away from where he had pressed into her back. There was a soft grunt but no other protest. 

Bidding their farewells to each other in the hallway Y/N turned to the waiting door of their room. She fumbled with the key tiredly before heaving the heavy door open. “I call dibs on the shower first.” The door to the bathroom closed behind her and nearly instantaneously the shower rumbled to life. 

As the two boys entered the room Kirk groaned. “Fuck seriously, there’s not even two beds.” He walked around the king sized bed, dropping his bag on the floor unceremoniously. “Jase check if the sofa pulls out into a bed.” He nodded towards the couch behind him. 

Jason nodded, moving to tug the cushions off the couch in search of a lever to pull it out. He turned to Kirk with a frown and a shake of his head. “We’re just gonna have to make due.” The bed sprawled out, large enough to fit the three of them comfortably but there would certainly be no personal space. 

“One of us could sleep on the floor.” Kirk offered helpfully, already stripping down to his underwear and sitting on the edge of the bed. With the hair tie around his wrist he pulled his curls back into a low ponytail. 

Following suit Jason slipped into a pair of pajama bottoms, leaving his chest bare. Typically he would sleep in the same amount of clothes but he figured he would be courteous for Y/N’s sake. He cocked an eyebrow at Kirk, eyeing his nearly naked state. “Well if you aren’t going to put on any clothes you're volunteering right. Don’t think Y/N deserves to be subjected to your dick pressed against her all night.” 

Kirk scoffed at him. “As if dude.” Despite that he reached down into his bag, pulling a pair of shorts out. “Let her choose who sleeps on the floor then.” He grumbled, clearly annoyed from being over tired. He grabbed the remote on the side table, flipping through the channels until he landed on a movie marathon of sorts. 

The two boys sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for the sound of the running water to cease. The room filled with steam as Y/N stepped out dressed in an oversized shirt as a nightgown, stopping just at mid thigh. Her hair falling in damp ringlets down her back. “You guys are still awake?” She asked confused, ruffling her head with a towel before tossing it into the laundry hamper. 

“Waiting for you.” Jason coughed awkwardly, forcibly dragging his eyes from her bare legs to her face. “There’s only one bed so uh, which one of us do you think should take the floor?” He asked. His leg bounced nervously. 

She turned to the large bed then back to the boys confused. “Seems big enough for all of us, don’t you think?” Her bottom lip jutted out into a pout. “I mean if not I can sleep on the floor I guess.” She shrugged crawling onto the mattress. Her shirt slipped higher up her thighs as she moved to the middle.

Kirk’s mouth went dry, stuttering over his words as he joined her on the bed. “I mean we just thought, never mind.” He shook his head. He waited for a hesitant Jason to join on the other side before leaning over to flip the light off. 

The room was cascaded in darkness, the three of them tucked cozily between the sheets. Y/N turned on her side facing Kirk in the darkness, her leg tossed across his casually. The skin to skin contact sent a shiver up his spine. It left her back pressed against Jason's chest. 

There was a gentle tug at her waist as Jason snaked his arm around carefully, pulling her closer to him. The sudden loss of contact didn’t go unnoticed by Kirk. Frowning he hooked his leg around hers once more to keep her in place. “Okay guy’s knock it off im not a fucking rag doll.” She sighed. Her disappointment echoed off the walls. She felt Jason mold himself to her from behind, his body heat radiating around her comfortably. 

“Well I don't understand why Jason gets to have you all to himself.” Kirk whined attempting to tug the girl once more, meeting resistance. Y/N could see the annoyed look on his face and she groaned. 

She pushed Jason’s arms from her waist shuffling over. “I'm not dealing with this unless you guys learn how to stop acting idiots.” She curled in on herself, shutting her eyes in a last ditch attempt to sleep. 

There was a gentle ghosting of a hand across her waist, she couldn’t tell who it was. “Listen I know how to share, Kirk’s the one who needs to learn.” Jason’s voice was low in her ear. She could surmise it was him leaving the teasing touches across her skin. 

There was a sudden extra set of hands on her, moving up from her stomach and coming to rest just beneath her breasts. Y/N’s breath hitched in her throat at the bold move. “I know how to share.” Kirk’s sweet boyish voice sounded a little more needy, desperate. 

Y/N sat up, knocking the hands away from her body. “When did I say anything about sharing?” She glared at the two, her eyes adjusted to the dark just enough to make out their forms. “Last I checked I wasn’t a toy, nor did I agree to fuck either of you.” She scoffed angrily. She shuffled up to her knees. “Maybe if you asked nicely.” 

The speed at which the two boys sat up was amusing, earning them a giggle from her. Even in the dark she could make out the silhouettes of the matching tent’s in both of their pants. Kirk was tugging her forward, his hands gripping into the flesh of her thighs so that she was hovering over his lap, Jason was behind her quickly, pushing the fabric of her shirt up over her hips and exposing her underwear. “You mean it?” Jason asked, his lips ghosting across the outer shell of her ear. 

Kirk stared up at her in amazement as she swiftly tugged her shirt over her head. Her tits falling with a small bounce as she freed them from the fabric. She reached behind her, tugging Jason’s hand forward to feel the warmth radiating from her core. “What do you think?” She whispered, letting out a content sight as Kirk’s hands came to rest on her chest. 

“Fuck, you’re pretty.” Kirk groaned, his thumbs playfully rolling over the hardened nubs of her nipples. “You really want to take both of us?” Unable to hide the eagerness in his voice. Jason’s hand slipped beneath the waistband of her underwear, his fingers sliding between her wet folds, gathering the slickness between his fingers. 

Her legs shuddered at the sudden touches, head tossing back against Jason’s shoulder with a moan. He took the opportunity to latch himself to the exposed skin of her neck. “F-fuck, yeah wanted you both for awhile now.” She gasped, her hands gripping onto Kirk's wrists gently. 

With a wet pop Jason pulled off her neck, lapping gently at the bruise he had formed there. “Tell us, how did you think about us fucking you baby?” He asked sweetly. His fingers found her clit, rubbing slow circles causing her stomach to convulse and tighten. 

Beneath her Kirk rolled his hips, The hard head of his cock straining against his pajamas as he rubbed up into her. A sweet whine filled the air as Y/N leaned into the eager touches across her body. “Oh,” She breathed out heavily. “Want you in my mouth.” She said locking eyes with the boy beneath her, her nails dragging down his arms leaving light pink scratches across his tanned skin. 

Her head craned to the side, capturing Jason’s lips against her own for a fleeting moment. “And you from behind.” She whispered, her breath ghosting across his skin. In one swift movement Jason had tugged her back, his hand splaying heavy across her skin as he pushed her forwards. 

She was left with her ass in the air, face pressed into Kirk's hip bone as her fingers scrambled against the sheets trying to steady herself. She laughed breathily at the eagerness. The skin was cold against her ass as the fabric of her underwear was tugged down her thighs. Her gaze drifted upwards, locking onto a wide eyed Kirk. 

“You gonna blow him or what?” Jason sighed from above the two of them, his hips pressed against the fullness of her ass. There was a pleasant friction of his underwear against her fully exposed core. Y/N’s eyebrow raised playfully, taking in Kirk’s stunned face. Her fingers dipped beneath the waistband of his bottoms as she tugged them down. Beneath her touch she could feel the warmth radiating off his skin like a furnace. 

Each inch of skin exposed left her feeling breathless, she followed the neat trail of hair down his abdomen, pressing soft kisses across the skin. Y/N pulled back slightly as she released him from the confines of his pants and underwear. His cock sprung forward, brushing past her cheek inciting a giggle from her. 

It was pretty, curved slightly to the side and resting just beneath his belly button. The head was swollen and shiny with pre-cum. “Please,” Kirk’s desperate plea stirred Y/N from her admiration. His knuckles gripped the sheets, mouth parted open slightly as he looked down on her eagerly. 

The way his voice caught in his throat sent another wave of heat through Y/N’s stomach. She wasted no more time, dipping her head down, lips wrapping against the leaking head of his cock. The guttural noise it earned her had her moving down further. He was pleasantly heavy in her mouth, pressing down on her tongue as she took him deeper into her mouth. 

She kept her eyes locked onto his with each inch she took, Until her nose was pressed flat against his skin, the head knocking against the back of her throat. “Fuck, Y/N.” He gasped out, hands coming to tangle themselves in her hair. He held her there gently, with just enough force to keep in her place as he rocked his hips forward. 

The motion had her gagging, the sudden constriction around his cock leaving Kirk tossing his head back against the pillows. Tears sprang to her eyes as her nails dug into the skin of his thighs. It was so overwhelming that Y/N nearly forgot about the man behind her, his heavy hands a comfort against her waist. 

It wasn’t until she felt fingers pressing into her she recalled Jason was present in the room as well. She squealed  around Kirk’s cock as Jason's fingers worked her open delicately. The slickness between her legs was sticky, running down his hand as he curled his fingers. 

It had her keening back, raising her hips higher into the air. Her eyes fluttered shut from the stimulation. Kirk and Jason were relentless, each thrust of Jason’s fingers inside her sent her forward further onto Kirk. “God, look at you.” Jason groaned as he pulled his hand back, a rush of warmth spilled between her thighs as she was left empty. 

There was a slick sound behind her, Jason’s breathy moans joining Kirk’s in a pleasant harmony. She couldn’t see behind her with Kirk buried in her throat but she could hear the wet sound of Jason’s hand moving across his length. Using her slick to make the glide easier. She wiggled her hips towards him eagerly. 

A harsh tug on her hair had her eyes snapping up to Kirk, a lazy grin plastered on his face as he continued to fuck into her mouth. “Look at me while he fucks you.” He commanded her, tone lower and a little more raspy. It had her stomach doing flips, it seemed uncharacteristically explicit coming from his sweet voice. 

Obediently she kept her eyes trained on Kirk as she felt Jason's cock rubbing against her entrance. Her eyes widening as he pushed into her. Each inch felt like a near impossible stretch. Her nails dug deeper into Kirk's skin as she cried around him. To say Y/N felt full was an understatement. She could hardly breath, feeling like Jason was in her stomach and Kirk shoved as far down her throat as possible. 

“Fuckin’ tight.” Jason hissed, his hips were pressed flush to her ass. “We’re going to ruin you.” He moaned, he pulled back lightly, the drag of his dick inside her had her clenching around the small loss. A harsh snap forward had her moaning, the vibrations around Kirk’s cock had his hips bucking up. 

They fell into a harsh rhythm just like that, Jason’s quick harsh thrusts matching Kirk’s frantic fucking of her face. Y/N fell limp, allowing the men to move her as they needed, too overstimulated to contribute anything aside from her body. Unable to protest as each orgasm rocked through her body, sending her release across Jason's girth, making it that much wetter. 

Her thighs trembled, only being held up by Jase’s strong grip on her ass. “Fuck, can I come in your mouth pretty girl?” Kirk asked sweetly above her. It seemed like a cruel joke to ask her a question with her mouth full. Y/N rolled her eyes playfully and smiled around him. Her breathing was heavy, being forced through her nose she felt lightheaded. 

Kirk pulled her head back harshly, just the tip of his cock resting against her lips. She sucked in a breath, the sweet relief of air filling her lungs as she opened her mouth. Her tongue laid out flat as he fucked himself against it. His release came with a loud moan, warmth coated her mouth, a small amount splattering across her cheeks. “Oh my god,” Kirk stuttered out, his dick twitching with the last of his climax. 

She swallowed eagerly, salty and warm it burned slightly going down her throat. Jason's thrusts behind her were relentless, her head dropped to Kirk’s hip as his grip in her hair loosened. Her voice was blown out as her cries echoed off the hotel room walls. 

No longer gagged, her moans overpowered the animalistic panting coming from both men. If there had been an ounce of shame left in her body she would feel bad for whoever was in the neighboring rooms. Jase’ was quick to flip Y/N over, man handling her body so her back was pressed against the mattress. 

She looked up at Jason with a grin, her lips puffy and swollen, the remnants of Kirk’s release across her otherwise unblemished skin. He caged her in, his body fully enveloping her own as he leaned forward. Her body bounced obscenely as Jason drilled his cock into her. The sheer force had the headboard knocking back into the wall. 

“Want you to come in me, please” Y/N whimpered, her arms coming to wrap around Jason’s neck. She felt a wandering hand across her body as Kirk leaned forward, pressing his fingers against her clit. She gasped at the sudden touch, she thanked whatever god existed for making Kirk a guitar player as he worked her hard and fast. 

There was a shared grin between the boy’s as Jason fucked her with reckless abandon. “Whatever you want, baby.” He assured her, leaning down to kiss her as his hips jerked forward then stilled. There was a sudden warmth inside her as Jason bottomed out completely, his length twitched as he let out a final groan against her lips. 

Time came to a stand still. The room was silent aside from the three’s heavy panting. Her body weak against the mattress as Jason’s weight rested on top of her, Kirk beside her still trailing his fingers across her skin. Slowly as Jason softened he rolled to the side, laying beside her. 

The mixture of their orgasms was sticky between her legs, dampening the sheets beneath them as well. She shuddered as the cold air hit her body. "Now none of us can sleep in the bed.” Y/N grimaced, kicking the sheets away from underneath her. “And I need another shower.” 

Kirk’s soft laughter was a stark contrast to the filth that had just occurred. His arms came to wrap around her naked waist. “C’mon just enjoy it for a second.” Another pair of arms wrapped around her next. 

There was no war this time, both men entangling themselves with her easily. “Just give us a moment.” Jason breathed out with a smile. “Plus we can all shower together.” She could feel his cheeky smile against her shoulder as he pressed his face against her. 

“Jesus you two are fucking insatiable.” 

[momowoah]

Okay but I really think that the worst part is that this is season seven. Unless they're planning to turn 9-1-1 into the new Grey's Anatomy the chances of us being already in the final half of the show are huge. I'm not saying that there shouldn't be any drama, but the characters should've started to go forward, and yet nearly all of them feel stuck in the same place they have been for several seasons. Or should I say 2-3 seasons?

tldr: all/most S7 storylines were either useless in the long run or recycles. The only characters who had storylines on the good side of the scale (as in, they helped the characters develop and move to a new place in their lives) were Maddie and Chimney (and maybe Buck but he's on thin ice). All the characters are back to the same place they were in s4/s5. It's probably TM's fault. This shouldn't be happening in a 7th season.

(really long post under the cut but worth it imo)

Bobby and Athena had a whole seven episodes for their storylines and yet it didn't significantly change anything about them or their relationship. The doubts of how they are when they're at peace that were brought up in ep1 ended up not being addressed at all. We started the season with what was supposed to be this huge thing in their relationship and it was just never brought up again! Instead they put bathena through distress again just for the sake of being dramatic. And while I'm extremely glad we got Amir and think there were several high points in his storyline, what difference did it make in the long run? Yes, it brought up interesting things to Bobby's storyline, such as more insight into his childhood and the chance for him to explore another side of the fire he caused, but is it going to change anything? No! Bobby will be reinstated in S8 bc that's just how these things go, and I doubt they'll put any effort to continue the survivors storyline. I'd bet it'll just be ignored in the next seasons.

Hen and Karen have been trying for YEARS AND YEARS to adopt a child and they just can't let them! As a wlw, do you know how awful that is to watch? Seeing them fail time and time again and have their family broken up once again just because??? It was one thing with Nia, she got a happy ending, but that wasn't the case with Mara. The best thing for everyone involved would be for her to stay with Hen and Karen, but they blew it up. I know she's with Madney, but it's not the fucking same. Why do they have to go through this again? Why can't they finally get the family they've spent years fighting for? Why can't the drama be about anything else, why does it have to be about failed adoptions? I've seen this enough times before. Why not let them be able to adopt???? Why? I'm genuinely upset abt this btw, probably more than about anything else that went down.

Buck got to finally come out and it was great but instead of taking it as an opportunity to let him grow into himself they just threw him right back into the hamster wheel of dating people who are either not fully into him or who he's not fully into. (if you like bt probably skip the rest of this paragraph but I'd also be upset about how they're handling them if I liked the ship bc I liked the previous bt and they did something similar to them lol) Tommy's behavior could be explained away at first, but I feel like time and time again the show goes the extra mile to make him uninterested in Buck or just straight up an asshole to him? Instead of taking the small opportunities of portraying them as a healthy happy couple they just consistently screw up their relationship? They're not the couple I support but even then I wanted them to be good together bc I want Buck to be happy, and yet all we get is this?

I don't even have words about Eddie, especially considering what rg has said about him destroying his life and possibly reverting back to military no emotions mode next season. WHY CAN'T HE BE HAPPY? We already saw him break down, WE'VE ALREADY HAD A STORYLINE ABOUT HIM REBUILDING HIS LIFE, but happiness is boring so now he has to ruin his relationship with his son too right? It just pisses me off how they go about his character sometimes. I liked that they were bringing back the Shannon storyline because he was supposed to be able to finally move on, but this wasn't about that. No, it was about retraumatizing Eddie and Chris and splitting them up at a time when they should be leaning on each other and healing, because Chris has also been suffering with the Shannon stuff. We saw it in fucking ep 1. Don't even get me started on the Marisol stuff because idek why she was there at all. Literally don't get it. We had an off-screen breakup anyways. She wasn't relevant at all to anything that happened. Why was she even there? I'm genuinely asking. The only Eddie arc that has some positive potential for next season is him dealing with his relationship with religion (especially if they tie it to the military and the way he lives his life for others' expectations), but tbh I don't trust them not to fuck it up.

Finally, I don't have complaints about madney, except for why tf was Maddie so absent this season? The wedding episode was all about Chimney (who was also maybe kinda missing tbh), and although I love him and his backstory and the opportunity to see Kevin again, I really wanted it to be about their relationship, since it was their wedding, yk. Dispatch was also severely under utilized. We did get the 7x07 Maddie plotline and it might've been bc it was a shortened season but yeah, I'm still not that satisfied.

So, we have all the characters stuck in places they've been before. More specifically, in the place they were in season 4/5. Bathena relationship problems followed by a life threatening situation? Check. Henren struggling with adoption? Check. Buck getting into what was supposed to be a good relationship only for it to end up going really bad? Check. Eddie struggling with relationships and his mental health going to hell? Check. Madney in a good place with a new child and about to have an awful fucking time? Hopefully just check for the first part. And you know which question this makes me ask? It's whether Tim Minear is just reverting everyone to their s4 state out of spite for the seasons he was away. And even if it is a genuine attempt at getting the show back on the track he wanted out of good intentions, it still sucks, because it doesn't change the fact that it is just a repeat of old storylines. I actually complained at this before the show even aired, but (iirc) I ended up deleting my post because I thought that I was just overreacting. Guess what? I fucking wasn't, bc that's EXACTLY what they did.

Now, going back to the start of this post, the reason why all these storylines suck so much is not that they are bad. It's not even that they aren't original. No, it's the fact that we're doing storylines that belong in the fourth or fifth season of a show in its seventh season. Even the Gerrard plotline, which is new to 9-1-1, feels like it came too late, because the split up crew/villain captain storyline tends to happen much sooner in procedurals, and for a reason. Besides the fact that this was never really a big bad type of show and I don't get why they are making it one all of a sudden, and ignoring the fact that Gerrard being brought back as captain, especially to the 118 of all places, makes no fucking sense, that kind of plotline is one that it's obviously always temporary. No one believes he'll still be the captain by the end of 8A, much less by the end of the season. He'll hardly survive the first 3-5 episodes. That's ultimately a filler storyline. It helps the show go on for longer, it might even help in the development of a couple characters, but at the end of the day it doesn't change anything, which appears to be a recurring theme when it comes to 9-1-1 storylines.

The reason I have a problem with this is that we don't need a filler storyline, because no one knows whether the show has the luxury of taking its sweet time. Yeah, it has a huge audience and it is doing good numbers, but it is still a fucking money pit that was already cancelled once and it's unsustainable on the long run. It might not end that soon, but is it honestly going to reach season 14? Does anyone truly think that we've only seen half of it (or less) so far? Because I don't. Not many shows make it that far, and there's a reason for that. We have three huge names who are extremely important to the show. What happens if they get tired? What happens if someone gets a better offer? What happens if we're still revisiting old storylines when that happens? Do we get an incomplete story or a rushed one?

The show should be moving forward, even if there are no plans for it to end soon. We have the drama of the huge disasters 9-1-1 loves. We have the drama of the cases. We have a myriad of new possible dramatic storylines for the characters that show development without being too final. Athena could have so many different job related storylines (from moving up in her career to abandoning it), and her and Bobby's storyline from the beginning of the season about being boring together can be played in a good and dramatic line. Henren and Madney have a whole world of parenting issues that they could go through. Buck and Eddie both still need either an endgame love interest (whether it's each other or not) or to get to the point where they are fine not having one, and we have all of the relationship trouble that comes with that. This show can give us new things, storylines that are good for the characters, without losing the dramatic factor (which, if I'm being honest, would not be a deal breaker for me). Yet, it refuses to, and probably not for a good reason, because it comes down to either Tim wanting to rewrite history or just trying to drag this show for as long as possible (which apparently he only knows how to do by refusing to make the characters happy). And you know what? I'm fucking mad about it, and I think you should be too.

Btw, this is not to say the whole season sucked. We got Madney and Henren together multiple times which was great. We finally got Bi Buck. There were several amazing acting moments for both the main and recurring actors. As a standalone season, it was good. It just doesn't work when you look at the bigger picture.

[wario-speedwagon]

The Blackjack Essay I thought up at like 3am because Blackjack is a great character if you really think about it hard enough

I had some Blackjack Thoughts yesterday night (cuz I woke up in the middle of the night and I always soothe myself back to sleep by brainrotting over characters or made up scenarios). Cuz yknow, okay:

So Blackjack is the soul, and he's a soul that was blackened by regret yeah? And not just that, but he takes the form of a his childhood dog rather than of himself (which is interesting, more on that later). I think we can agree that, while we never get to know in meaningful detail what the living Jack Kennedy was TRULY like, soulless Corpse!Jack is probably closer to his original living self in personality than the Blackjack we saw at the end of DSAF 3 True Ending, or rather, in most of what we see of Blackjack's coded/capitalized lines (more on that later too). Corpse!Jack is more chill (in a feral way of course) in that he moves on from things like grudges or regrets, which in the good routes manifests in him being able to keep going despite how emotionally hard it should be to e.g. leave his family once and for all, or to forgive his sister's murderer in favor of seeing the good in him. It's not a perfectly moral aspect, as there are things he probably should be hung up on (cough cough Dave), and Blackjack sure is. (We love some moral greyness in this household.) And then of course, in the evil route, it manifests in Corpse!Jack having a very easy time befriending and emulating his siblings' murderers and even killing his siblings himself. Obviously Blackjack could never conceive of acting in any of these ways, and he definitely lets evil Jack know.

So. I am of the headcanon that, all the trauma of Jack's death and the events leading up to it, all of his regrets from it, Blackjack took it all with him, leaving Corpse!Jack with little to none of it left. For better or for worse, Corpse!Jack does not carry the same emotional baggage from his personal tragedy that Blackjack is completely lost in. And then my point about Blackjack taking on the form of a dog instead of himself... and him not really acting like his old self compared to at least TrueRoute!Jack. At least most of the time, as we'll see soon. Because in the True Routes, Dee and eventually Peter are able to recognize True!Jack as their old brother pretty easily even despite the circumstances, but Blackjack? He's unrecognizable to all of them except eventually Corpse!Jack himself. According to her, Blackjack warned Dee about Evil!Jack's true nature in DSAF 2 (when you're doing a route with her as Legacy!Jack), and she didn't realize who he was, she only saw a Shadow Doggo; and of course at the end of DSAF 3, even after revealing who Blackjack is, Peter and Dee sure don't treat Blackjack like their dear old brother the way they regard Corpse!Jack. He's just a stranger to them now, and of course he is, because he's little like how he used to be in life, how Corpse!Jack still is in life. And after a faux eternity of being a Shadow Doggo operating behind the scenes with every opportunity to reveal himself, I'm of the opinion that he wants it to be this way, that he be forgotten in his failures while someone else takes his old role for him and does it well.

And it's because he is so steeped in his hatred born from his regret, that it completely warped his way of thinking to focus on revenge against Henry, or also his hyperfocus on Evil!Jack's wrongdoings. But while that's what most people see him for in his entirety (in both canon and fandom), as it's the front he nearly always puts on, people often forget one really important scene from him that may be the only glimpse of his more authentic self, one that isn't steeped in regret or any emotions stemming from it based on it. Do you remember the little speech Blackjack gives to Corpse!Jack after the True ending in DSAF 2 after the Happiest Day? He talks about him being "proud of us" (hinting at his and Corpse!Jack's link), but then ponders the possibility of redemption and decides, if it is possible, then he is glad that Corpse!Jack has been redeemed. So still excluding himself from that redemption despite just prior finding solace in what Corpse!Jack has done on both their behalf. It's like he sees Corpse!Jack more as himself than, yknow, himself (and you can imagine that this same truth probably also leads to why he despises Evil!Jack so much). And all of this must be very good for his self-esteem /s

Very notably, this one scene is the only dialogue of his that is not Caps locked or coded, and a recurring theme among souls is that caps locked dialogue is always steeped in more powerful (often but not exclusively negative) emotions, while regular lowercase text seems to show much more human authenticity. We see it in Jacob before vs. after he calms down and comes to terms with his death, we see it in Dee always being lowercase, as she seems to always be her honest self, we even see it in Fredbear, as he is always grandly talking in all caps as the powerful entity he is except in his promise with Jack's corpse where he is entirely lowercase and talks much more sincerely like a real person to him out of honest humility. So anyway, this one scene with Blackjack in my opinion is the only scene we really get to see Jack's real personality shine through in him, a personality we see much more readily in Corpse!Jack.

And now to finally return to my point about Blackjack taking on the form of a dog instead of as himself. So lets combine all these previous points: 1) He is blackened by Regret; 2) He is in a nearly constant state of negative/powerful emotions stemming from his regret as indicated by all his his caps/code text; 3) he is still capable, if rarely, of showing his more human personality; 4) Dee and Peter seem to much more readily recognize Corpse!Jack as their brother than Blackjack; 5) Blackjack is proud of True!Jack's good actions in DSAF 2 and implies that only he (but not himself) is deserving of redemption; (and heck, let's also throw in) 6) the fact that he chooses not to hide in an unrecognizable form and seems to estrange himself from his siblings to let Corpse!Jack fulfill his role as Jack for them in his place

What I'm getting at (finally) is that I think Trauma Fucked Him Up™; I think it completely fucked up his self-esteem replacing it with deep-rooted self-hatred and shame. It might be that he simply cannot bear to resemble himself, not after all he's done (leaving his sister's party to bury their dog and drink away his sorrows, which left her to die, lowkey (highkey?) betraying both of his siblings' trust, and then failing in his attempt to right his mistakes by dying instead and making things worse, at least from Blackjack's POV who didn't have any sort of promise to turn his death into a chance at redemption).

Except, he can hopefully make his death into some sort of chance for redemption thanks to his powers born from sheer regret-fuelled hatred by trapping and seemingly torturing Henry. At least, this is how he chooses to cope with all of his feelings in a way that feels productive. But of course, they don't solve the root of his regret, or the root of his low self-worth, as he is really just indulging in and marinating in his negative emotions for a theoretical eternity. And during all this, he is also watching over Corpse!Jack in all of his parallel timelines, seeing both the best and worst versions of himself (literally). He sees his neutral/evil route selves indulging in the worst vices imaginable without care, and he must see himself in them anyway, because Corpse!Jack did inherit his vices after all, naturally including his drinking problem for a start, except now he's actually acting on them much more freely without a soul to restrain him either. He is forced to see the worst of himself played out in reality, and he's the one who feels shame for them. (Now Corpse!Jack also experiences things like self-hate and regret for his actions, but again, he seems to move on from these feelings fairly easily, coping with them instead with a "no fucks left to give" attitude, the kind of attitude someone who knows he doesn't have a future would have. A soul does not have that luxury.)

Meanwhile, though, Blackjack is also forced to see the best of himself in True!Jack; the Jack that actually worked his ass off to right his, or rather their mistakes. And also the Jack to actually be present in their siblings' lives as their brother Jack, the one that actually acts like their brother Jack, like his old self, while Blackjack seems to have either forgotten how or lost interest in doing so. It's easy to forget because DSAF is fiction, but experiencing something like what Jack has experienced is gonna leave severe trauma, and severe trauma is gonna change you pretty fundamentally whether you like it or not. Except being soulless, based on his actions and reactions, Corpse!Jack seems to have escaped much of this trauma while Blackjack is practically characterized by it. I wouldn't say Corpse!Jack is entirely unaffected by any trauma by any means (even Evil!Jack loses his shit when seeing Dee's scarf), but again, he sure seems to move on from it by shoving his negative feelings aside for later or even outright ignoring them, while Blackjack copes by feeling them and acting on them all the time. They both cope with the same issues in completely opposite unhealthy extremes.

So while Corpse!Jack is seemingly not affected enough by what happened, Blackjack is unrecognizable to himself, to anyone who could recognize him (including even Corpse!Jack himself, as Corpse!Jack doesn't realize who Blackjack is till the very end), so Blackjack takes more comfort taking on a form that isn't himself. (Instead, he takes on the form of the only family he got to send off with closure, the only family member whose death doesn't inspire some sort of Regret, hm?) He even doesn't take on his own name, preferring Blackjack over just Jack. Despite holding some contempt toward him, he still allows Corpse!Jack to keep their original name.

And he clearly does have mixed feelings toward Corpse!Jack, even toward True!Jack, as he is "proud" of him at the end of True DSAF 2, but then also spiteful toward him in True DSAF 3, and honestly that's pretty understandable, as True!Jack has done the work and reaped the rewards for redeeming himself and getting to be family with Dee and Peter again, essentially living as Jack for him, but Blackjack, despite his uninvolvement in reality or the Flipside where his family are, he is the one who faces the trauma and emotional burden of what happened to him, and it's not like Blackjack hasn't done anything either (even if what he did was misguided and ultimately harmful). It would be hard not to hold some contempt for a version of you that can move on so easily from your worst regrets and who can get to live your life where you left off for you in your name. And he's happy, and he deserves to be happy, and you aren't, and you don't deserve to be. You don't even deserve to be yourself, you've decided without realizing, because he's doing it much better than you ever could anymore anyway. He's the one who can actually save them all, he's the one who's worthy of redemption, but you? You're the only one who can make Henry face what he deserves, and by god you're gonna do it even if it costs your entire self, it's not like it's worth much anymore.

All of this is to say, yeah, Blackjack's character is perhaps a little disappointing in DSAF 3 due to lack of time to explore it after the reveal, but combined with his character in DSAF 2, he is a much more interesting and 3-dimensional character to explore than people realize. And also I think I might have ADHD. Might.

[thatoneguydownthestreet]

Yo! I really love your apocalypse yuu writings I keep coming back to see if it has updated.

I read the Lilia finds out part and when I read the "Epel gave Yuu an apple and he didn't know what it was" it got me thinking about it all night.

How would the first years react to Yuu not eating anything at all(probably other than bread) because he doesn't know what those foods are?

________________________________

FEM ALIGNED DNI

Yuus pronouns are he/him, although they're mentioned briefly

This is barely proofread so please excuse the grammar mistakes.

Featuring: Epel, Ace, Duece, Jack, and sebek (there is implied lilia at the very end but it is literally one sentence)

Warnings: Talks of starvation, Yuu's illness, and survivers guilt, so skip this if you're uncomfortable with any of that.

Also I know it's been over a month. I have no excuse. I just didn't feel like it. But I have been teaching myself how to draw so I can be a bigger simp to Jamil so that's fun ig.

________________________________

Damn bro, you really don't know shit huh?

Epel was excited, to say the least.

I mean, could you really blame him? It's not everyday that you get a big ol' crate full of the apples that you were raised with.

By all means, epel should've been long sick of eating apples. Having them almost everyday for majority of his life, dried and dehydrated in the winter, and fresh and juicy in the spring and summer.

But no, no epel felmeir loves those apples. Every single one he ate seemed to effortlessly send him back to the simpler times of his childhood. Where he would send hours upon hours avoiding his siblings and playing games with his cousins in the orchards and taking naps in the sun while he waited for his meemaws infamous apple pies to finish baking. And meemaw would almost always let him have the first slice! Of the ones she wasn't going to sell at least.

He really missed her...

He'd have to ask her to bake him another one this winter.

But just getting to read the letter she had wrote, along with his parents and one of the towns kids that always followed him around like a lost baby duck, put a smile on his face.

Yeah. He'd get to see them soon, and once he graduates, he can get them more money, and be strong enough to protect them if it ever came to that.

Unfortunately, as great as his parents apples were, they couldn't fight the natural forces of time.

Dear sevens- they'd sent him nearly three dozen apples! All high quality too... it shouldn't effect sales too much. The orchards were big, and his parents would rather give up that expensive family heir loom necklace that his mother always wore than start selling spoiled apples.

But still, epel couldn't possibly eat thirty-six apples before they all started to rot. Plus, he didn't know how long they took to ship to the isle of sages, so that cut the time frame even shorter.

.....Does Jack like apples?

Should he even be considering giving Jack an apple to begin with? Their relationship was pretty vague. We're they actually friends or just study buddies?

Study buddies can give eachother gifts too right? And plus, it's food, not a 24 carrot gold ring or something crazy like that.

It should be fine. Maybe he'll give one to ace too. They were friends. Surely.

.

.

.

Ace trappola would say he was a good friend. I mean, he wasn't the best by any means, but he was decent.

Yeah, he could be kind of a dick. But who isn't at this point, honestly, even deuce, even cater had their moments.

But he was still someone the people in his life could go to for things, usually physically, tangible this like food or an extra ball or something, but he wasn't completely useless when it came to emotions either.

You could come to him if something was bothering you. He probably won't help you actually fix it but he can at least make you laugh.

So why didn't you want to laugh?

You had taken your mask off a few weeks ago. And like a bucket of ice cold water had been dumped on him he realized it was the first time he ever saw you eat any food here at all.

Were you eating at all before then? What about water?

Thank the seven you were only here for around a week. But surely, you were dehydrated.

(You were definitely dehydrated. Deuce gave you a water bottle and you chugged it like it was your only chance at life. Which, to be fair, it probably was your only chance at life.)

Ace didn't know what your life was like before.

Ace didn't want to know either.

He didn't do well with heavy topics, always changing the subject when one came up unless he was personally involved in some way.

Other people life didn't concern him, and that was something he lived by.

...but still.

This was going a bit too far, don't you think?

Ace shot a look to deuce, clear concern instead of the regular teasing, which caught his roomates attention faster than he thought it would.

Ok. So deuce had noticed too.

Just goes to show how obvious it was that something is very wrong here.

Now, because ace had never asked, and he probably never will, he didn't know what your relationship with food was like before you came here. But. It couldn't have been this right?

A person couldn't only survive on some bread and room temperature water, right?

You sat across from him at your guy's unofficial table in the cafeteria, drinking the water at a moderate pace, as you didn't want to deal with another scolding from a certain housewarden, doing your best to keep a careful eye on grim as he went to go get his food from the lunch line.

And thank the seven for that, really. If grim turned back and saw that you weren't watching him for even a second, who knows that kind of ruckus would result?

But all that aside, you were still scarily underweight. Seriously perfect, how were you even alive?

Ace looked at deuce again. Deuce looked back.

He sighed.

Ace never, ever thought he would do something like this.

But for sevens sake, you were one of his best friends. And Ace will be damned if he just let you do this to yourself.

So with a deep breathe, he looked at you, and then turned back to what he was pretty sure was an ex-gang member, and nodded.

And for once, deuce understood.

They had to do something.

.

.

.

You reminded Deuce Spade of that stray cat that his mother would always feed when he was a child.

Underweight, scared, scarred, and confused.

Always having an air if caution and paranoia, ready to react, as if anything could just jump out and grab you at any time.

But you weren't a cat, were you?

No. You were a person. Someone his age, maybe younger, that had obviously seen horrors he couldn't even understand. Which just made this whole situation even sadder.

Because if you lived like this, then what the hell was stopping him? What about his mother? What was stopping her from having the same fate?

Duece ignored the memories of his mother giving him food and taking none for herself, saying she wasn't hungry.

But he couldn't quite ignore them, nor could he ignore the pit in his stomach whenever he looked at you.

...Listen perfect, he doesn't know what you went through to be like this, but he knows damn well this isn't normal.

It can't be normal. Hiding this much food underneath your floorboards couldn't ever be normal.

The two of you were just hanging out in your room in Ramshakle. Grim was in the lounge, he was sure, and you had stared off into space before asking the date.

When he told you, you had a look of slight panic as you ripped the rug off from its place on the floor, and started pulling apart the boards.

And what for?

The reveal of a large stash of food, mostly non-perishables, but a few snacks here and there too.

Snacks that were about to expire, apparently.

You turned to look back at him, a sheepish look on your face, and what looked like a bag if chips in your hand.

Deuce didn't know what face he was making.

He just knew it wasn't one he'd want you to see

.

.

.

If someone were to ask Jack howl if he was your friend. He wouldn't know to to say.

I mean yeah, you helped save his entire dorms ass way back when, yeah, you and him absolutely went throught it during azuls little "episode", and yeah, the two of you had plenty of mutual friends.

But we're the two of you friends?

Jack wasn't sure.

Because by all accounts, you should be.

It didn't change the fact that you weren't. Not really. Not by his definition and not by yours.

So what were you?

Well, you weren't friends. That was already established. And you were too close to be acquaintances (he didn't think acquaintance fell asleep on each other in the botanical gardens, only to wake up five minutes till curfew and just haul ass back to their respective dorms with smiles on their faces), so...what did that leave?

Well... I guess it left this.

"Eat it"

"....huh?"

Jack didn't know you that well. But that didn't mean he couldn't see..this happening. And it definitely didn't mean he didn't care.

So here he was. Holding a pastrami sandwich about an inch away from your face, silently begging you to just shut up and eat it.

Come on perfect, he bought this with his own money. Just humor him, please.

You eyed the sandwich like it was the most untrustworthy thing you'd ever seen. Jack's not going to lie, it kind of hurt.

But it wouldn't matter if you ate it, so he sucked it up.

...at least he would if you'd actually take the fucking sandwich.

Seriously, it was starting to tick him off.

Jack briefly considered just varying off and giving the sandwich to ruggie or something, or just eating it himself. He wasn't the biggest fan of pastrami but who knows, maybe the school made it better.

Honestly, he probably would have done just that if the image if you leaning against the wall looking ready to pass out from, what he knew, was malnutrition.

The event itself actually happened around two weeks ago, give or take. Jack thinks the only real reason he remembers it so well is because, well, it was the moment.

The defining moment, the moment where it just clicked that something was very wrong here.

He already knew that of course, I mean, look at you.

But as it turns out, watching someone actively starve to death in front of you will keep you up at night.

His mind turned to ruggie for a split second, before forcibly shoving that thought down where all the other thoughts he didn't want to think about were.

Like that time when he was a kid with a crush on Vil....yeah, Jack's happy he got o er that one to say the least. Nothing against Vil, he's a great friend and all (they were friends right?), but them in a relationship? Yeah. No. Not happening. No thankyou.

...yeah.

Jack mentally slapped hi.self and proceeded to shove his weird thoughts down yet again and refocus on getting his not-quite-friend to eat.

You were leaning back a lot farther than you were a second ago, if you did that anymore you'd probably just end up on the ground.

...jack sighed. This was going to take a while wasn't it?

By the end of the lunch period, you had come to a compromise, jack you slip the sandwich with you and take the other half for himself.

You ended up splitting your half with grim, who reluctantly took it. You had actually eaten yours too!...after you took the while thing apart and inspected and obsessed over it like how he'd seen Rook do to his housewardens that one time!

But still, it was something.

It was a start. And that's really all he could ask for at this point.

.

.

.

Sebek didn't notice anything about you at first. And he didn't particularly care much either. He was a guard for sevens sake! He had a deep responsibility!

He had a crown prince, that he oh so admired, to protect! Not to mention silver, who he had to wake up at every given turn, and not to mention Lilia, who had recently been going harder on their training sessions.

So to waste his time with a human? With a weak little human that didn't even come close to his current list if priorities?

That's time he simply did not have!

...So why was he here?

He was supposed to be looking for his charge. His charge, who always seemed to wind up around the old, abandoned Ramshakle building and just dissappear in the nick of time.

It had been happening more and more lately, especially since that new perfect moved in.

He would be lying if he said he cared too much about him. Again, he didn't have time to be curious about some strange human boy with some strange past.

But still, he couldn't quite contain the way he jumped back when he'd first seen them.

Whoever he was, he looked so...sick.

...he didn't have time for this.

Turning back on his heel, he refocused his mind on finding his lord again, and quickl- wait- silver. Oh great sevens. Silver wake up!

Ok. Sebek really didn't have time for this.

...and yet.

Here he was, standing next to you, arms out ready to catch you at a moments notice if you really were going to collapse like he thought you were.

He hadn't been this close to you before.

And now he could see that you weren't just sick.

Great seven, you looked like you were dying...

Sebek zigbolt had always known humans were weak, fragile creatures. Never able to even light a candle next to faeries. Never able to light a candle next to him, and certainly not his young master.

But this was just pushing it.

Sebek was stronger than his human counterparts. He would long outlive them. He thought of silver for the shortest second and then quickly pushed that thought to the side. This was not the time. Buteven with those facts, sebek still knew that humans weren't made of fine glass. Even if the people in his homeland liked to act like it, Sebek still knew that humanity wasn't completely hopeless.

One strong gust of wind wouldn't knock them over.

One missed meal wasn't enough to do detrimental damage to their health.

Pulling one all nighter would barely put a dent in their day to day lives, aside from the obvious fatigue and.

But with you?

With you? Alwats looking like you could kneel over and die then and there on the classroom floor?

...

Sebek want so sure anymore.

.

.

.

Epel had eaten more apples than any normal person should ever be able to eat.

Sevens help him, his stomach.

Despite the waves of pain that shit through him every now and then, epel wasn't mad.

Yeah, maybe eating a whole eight apples in the span of two hours wasn't his smartest idea, but the sweet nostalgia that seemed to wash over him and warm his very soul? Yeah no, it was worth it.

So no. Epel felmeir wasn't mad.

And laying in a bed that was much too soft for his taste, a direct contrast from the slightly itchy blankets and the hard mattresses back home, epel glance over to the almost empty crate of apples that were sitting just under his work desk.

...As much as Epel wanted to eat them, he wanted to do this even more.

Epel sat up, ignoring his stomach pain the best he could, and began a mental list of all the people he knew. And then a silent debate over who deserved his families apples in the first place.

Ok. First up Ace.

Epel would say they were friends. Not close friends by any means, but friends nonetheless.

Epel could give him one.

Next was Jack.

...In all honesty, epel didn't know. We're they friends, or just simply homework buddies that occasionally hung out?

...he could spare one for Jack, maybe they'd be friends then if they weren't already.

Duece.

Yes. Just- just yes. That day on the beach had changed their relationship forever. Duece was like a brother to him at this point.

He was goddamn getting an apple.

Epel chuckled a little at the realization that he was treating this like one of those elimination gameshows his meemaw liked.

Ok...he had two apples left after that.

Sebek wasn't really his friend was he? He certainly didn't make it seem like he was. If anything, Sebek was trying his damnedest to make them all belive the exact opposite, really.

....maybe he should just give the apple to Rook.

Or Vil.

Maybe.

Ok. He has one apple left.

The two of you weren't really friends. But you were friendly. If nothing else, you had been nothing but kind to him so far.

And plus, you looked uh. Half dead. To put it nicely.

And so, with a smile on his face, epel took out the crate of apples and began placing them on a bag that would make them easier to carry around tomorrow.

He couldn't wait.

.

.

.

It's funny how your whole life can change in a single moment, especially when you don't even know what that moment was.

Why were you here? Where is here anyway? Surely, magic didn't exist right?

The air wasn't always this clean right?

Water wasn't readily available at the turn of a handle right?

People didnt...people werent...weren't....

Heh. Heheha.

Why.

Why were you here?

Why were you here?

Why you and not one of the kids? What the hell have you ever done but use up medical supplies in a fruitless effort to keep you alive.

Why was this world so...pretty. happy. Clean.

Why this world and not your own? What had this world ever done to deserve this luxury of life.

...What had yours?

What had you?

Out of all the base commanders, the medics, the farmers, or children, or any of the other apprentice kids that you sometimes had to work with.

You were here. And they were still trapped inside of that hell.

...You didn't deserve this.

You died. You were on that beach and you died.

You woke up in a coffin, but something told you this wasn't the afterlife.

That something being the blood that you coughed up the other day.

It wasn't from internal bleeding, you k ew that much. Rather, it was from you coughing so hard that something in your throat had ripped.

It really didn't matter. You had spent nearly half an hour in a panic, choking and trying to unclog your airways, while grim and the ghosts you had come to somewhat love, stood behind you, offering what little comfort they could.

It wasn't the first time this happened after all.

You were still bedridden for a good two days after that. Thank God for the weekend.

Time passed in a blur while you were like that. It always did, mostly because you were asleep ninety percent of the time. The other twn being dedicated to medicine and a vain attempt to get food you knew you couldn't stomach to stay down.

So no. This wasn't the afterlife.

It was just a beautiful second chance that you didn't deserve.

It was so confusing.

And this was so confusing.

What..is this weird red thing being handed to you?

Epel looked at you with a hopeful expression on his face. It reminded you of the little girl you used to look after...

You take the..thing.

Glancing over to your right, you watch Ace take a large bite out of it with a smile on his face.

Ok. So not poisonous. Good to know.

You saw Duece do the same thing.

You felt Jack staring at you, but you didn't dare look at him.

[writingforatwistedworld]

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, obsessive behavior, possessive behavior, imprisonment, stalking, unhealthy relationship

Entering their world

So Ramshackle is once more a place people (or rather an individual) live in, right?

Kalim in typical Kalim Al-Asim fashion of course wanted to celebrate this joyous event, especially since the world had been so glum since the Overseer hadn’t graced them with their all-knowing gaze for two entire days

Two entire days, I tell you! Two entire days in which no riches of the world could buy him something to make this time less bleak

So fifty five flamingos and exactly seven elephants later there he is, knocking on the door of Ramshackle to invite you to the festivities

Only for you, his beloved Overseer to open

Mhm, he isnt inviting you

For the first time in the history of “character is always sunshiny”-plot armor Kalim is lost for words, gawking at your figure in the doorframe who is worriedly asking him if he is alright

So, sunny boy over here is at the brink of passing out, probably because his adrenaline levels have breached the realms of possibility, making his heart miss a few heartbeats too much but this is a world with magic so let's not question too many things

Jamil actually had to get the not-so-made-out-of-stone petrified Kalim, nearly getting a heart attack himself by seeing that it was you

Yeah... that planned celebration also didn't happen

This led to fifty four flamingos and exactly seven elephants being sent back home, one of the flamingos seeing that one of their cousins was used to play cricket, deciding to stay after reuniting after five years of separation

But before we get sidetracked by Heartslabyul students tearing up after witnessing the reunion of two pink birds we have to talk about our most favorite future sultan, then we can talk about tearing up Heartslabyul students

So Kalim was a cause of concern for Jamil, and not in the usual way

No, whilst Jamil wanted to bow to you as well Kalim was too silent. So silent in fact that Jamil got so worried that he put his plans of betrayal on the back burner for a while and looked after his childhood... friend? Employer? Friemployer!

Also, whilst it was usually a bit hard to get Kalim into his calm enough self to sleep, Kalm (ok this one is bad, I know), it was creepily easy to get the young man to relax now, almost as if he wanted to be in his room all alone without anyone at his back and call

“Why?” the confused reader said. “Why should this be important to the story?” They continued

Well because soon there also turns up a photo album filled with pictures of you sleeping, eating and much, much more

I think you finally know what our equivalent to a sunflower in the human version has done during the time he wasn't supervised

Give him a week as well and he returns to normal... more or less

I just hope you don't mind company that won't leave you 24/7 because you will spend a lot of time with your new stalker friend

No matter where you go, no matter where you hide, there is no escape

Soon items disappear as well, replaced with a much more expensive version of it

And whilst I have never seen a rubber costing more than a few bucks I am sure that Kalim over there can find and give you one that costs so much that it could cover the renovation of Ramshackle

Jewelry. The Al-Asim heir might not be a Fae but that doesn't mean seeing you wearing something he gifted you won't make him feel good, no, downright euphoric

It's almost like you favor him

And thank goodness for the plot armor of a “sunny side” character because you are only wearing them because that dead look in his eyes scares you whenever he sees you without something of his, him not even noticing that

Kalim has imagined a future with you, of course, he did, we are talking about a yandere setting after all and what would be a yandere setting without the classical trope of the Yandere having imagined their future with the unfortunate soul who is adored by them

He can see you two having a family, adopted or not does not matter, you living in his palace, you being always by his side, smiling...

Oh the outside world? Ha! No

There is no outside world. Only you two and if he has to shackle you to him then so be it!

[chronicallycouchbound]

Homelessness as Trauma: Transitioning Into Housing

Having housing after experiencing homelessness for over half of my life wasn’t healing for me (and most others too).

Homelessness is inherently traumatic in and of itself. Just the act of not having housing is traumatic. But before someone becomes homeless ever, we know that certain marginalized communities are more likely to become homeless, and that those marginalized communities are experiencing communal trauma AND the individual person is experiencing trauma. Additionally, whatever led to you becoming homeless was traumatic. And then you’re at significantly increased exposure to other traumas while unhoused (friends dying, police violence, systemic barriers, communal traumas, developing medical conditions, medical discrimination, etc).

Long-term homelessness is exponentially traumatizing.

When I lived in a youth homeless shelter for nearly 4 years, prior to, and after that I had been unhoused or in extremely unstable housing. Watching as other youth would become unhoused and then quickly gain housing, some in under a week, most in under a few months, I felt absolutely dispirited. As time went on, I only acquired more marginalization and thus faced more barriers. I felt like I would never have stable housing. It often still feels this way.

The staff at the shelter where I lived consistently said “We are not a crisis stabilization unit” in response to youth showing signs of trauma and crisis. Almost no concrete supportive services exist for people transitioning out of long-term homelessness. I stopped qualifying for most services after I stopped being legally homeless, even though my housing was even more unstable than the shelter was most of the time.

For a frame of reference, because I was never officially in foster care as a minor (even though I was homeless and on my own documented as a minor, had various legal guardians other than my parents, as well as dozens of child services calls and regular check-ins with caseworkers because of documented physical abuse and neglect all throughout my childhood, but I digress) I don't qualify for the services that foster youth get granted until they're 30, even if they only spent 1 night in foster care. Some of those services include free college, housing vouchers to pay for housing in full, guaranteed Medicaid coverage, additional food stamps, and more. I have several friends who have used these programs and are thriving! I'm glad they exist for people in need-- they should also be expanded to include homeless youth.

So when I moved into my first apartment, on my own, at age 19, I was genuinely more terrified than at any time while I had ever been homeless. I slept with my backpack as a pillow and my jacket as a blanket, despite having pillows and blankets to use. It was like a security blanket for me. I slept with my knife on my waistband like I always did, and I reluctantly put my boots within arm's reach instead of wearing them.

I didn't put anything into cabinets or closets or drawers for a very long time. I just kept living out of my backpack. I was afraid of leaving anything in my apartment-- usually leaving any possessions anywhere meant saying goodbye to them. I was afraid of being alone in my tiny studio apartment so I would have friends over every night.

There was times I wouldn't leave my apartment for days on end, especially when I started owning possessions that I had to leave behind and couldn't carry everything on my back anymore. I can't remember a time I owned enough possessions that I couldn't fit them all into a tote box and backpack. It was an entirely foreign experience.

People kept congratulating me and yet no one gave me any help with getting basic necessities for my apartment. Every pot and pan I own is scratched to shit and found free on the road, akin to all my mismatched dull knives and friend's hand-me-down towels. It was a pat on the back while I was still out there drowning.

People kept congratulating me and still my friends, my family, were on the streets dying. Acting like I should be proud to "overcome" while the system still hurts us all. My friends are still dying. Our whole community is grieving all the time. I feel guilty to just be alive.

That's not even touching the start of processing the trauma I experienced while unhoused. They say you don't start to process shit til you're safer and it hit like a tidal wave.

I had never felt like that before getting off the streets. And I wasn't and am still not in stable housing. I can't even imagine what stable housing would look like, let alone how tryna process that would be like. It is such a raw and vulnerable experience to come fresh out of homelessness and then be thrown into a world you've never known.

So many people think JUST housing is the answer when it simply is not. We need supportive services, we need community support, we need to be cared for and looked after. We need places to go for holidays and people to be our emergency contacts. We need financial help and support that money can't buy. We need real love, we need to be held by our community and uplifted to where we all can thrive.

[greenerteacups]

I’ve just completed your most recent chapter and what a delight it was from start to finish. The slow burn continues to be delicious, and you’re doing an amazing job of gradually adding bits of kindling to the flames to keep DHr’s relationship progressing (and to feed us readers). This most recent chapter was a textbook definition of fic that gets me giggling and kicking my feet.

I’m always amused by our sweet Victorian child Draco’s reaction to sex, and the reference again to sheets and friction sent me. I’m pretty sure this isn’t the first time Draco has been nearly undone by his bedding, and it got me thinking about Pureblood culture’s views of sex and intimacy.

I know oftentimes in fanon, we tend to get Slytherin sex god/goddesses who are having their first sexual experiences pretty early, though occasionally we get a more prudish/Puritanical Draco. We know in Lionheart’s universe, Narcissa alludes to a certain level of hanky panky with Lucius in the RoR, and it certainly seems like Draco had imagined any number of acts with Hermione, even if he hasn’t acted on them in public or perhaps even privately.

If it’s not spoilery, I’d love to know more about how Pureblood culture in Lionheart generally views sex/intimacy, especially inside/outside of courtship and marriage.

It's a mixed bag! I think the Slytherin sex gods thing is a kind of wish-fulfillment (loving compliment) because, put bluntly, the number of 15-17 year-olds who are even kind of charitably good at sex is a mathematical rounding error. Also, Hogwarts has group dorms. Sexiling one person in college is hard enough; imagine you have to sexile (i.e., declare publicly your intent to fuck) 3-5 people every time you want to mess around. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, it absolutely does — it's a coed boarding school, you can't fight the wind — but I will say it's probably more at the realistic level of high schoolers fumbling through the excruciating ordeal of learning intimacy, and not "the plot of Euphoria is happening in the dungeons at all times."

Anyway. I interpret the wealthier pureblood set as a kind of wizarding aristocracy, so while in general they're expected to perform to certain expectations and social mores when they're in social/public settings, the fact of the matter is it's the twentieth century and sexual mores are changing a LOT from decade to decade. Narcissa's upbringing would have been radically different from Draco's in terms of how much sex and intimacy would have been open subject — in no small part because Narcissa's generation kind of blew the ceiling off that particular conversation. She was born in 1955 and lived through the Sexual Revolution, meaning that her childhood, adolesence, and young adulthood took place in practically three different geological eras of social life. Meanwhile, women like Walburga and Druella were members of the Greatest Generation (maybe Silent Gen on the younger side), and would've been incredibly traditionalist.

Of course, no matter what the social rules are, teenagers will find a way around them. For the purposes of Lionheart, in 1995, it's understood by most pureblood parents that kids are gonna do what kids are gonna do, but there are specific standards about who you can be seen with and make certain kinds of promises to. Narcissa kind of references this at the end of book 3; she goes on this insulting little spiel about how generations of Blacks and Malfoys had secret muggle-born pets that they kept on the side, they just didn't bring them to dinner parties. Basically, what you do in the privacy of your bedroom is your own business; just don't get caught and don't try to push boundaries, and your social set will be understanding, up to a point. But it would be absolutely improper for "dating" or "courting" to take place between a muggle-born and a pureblood, because that expresses the intent to associate with them in Society, which is a discrete sphere with its own set of rules — one of which is that you have to enforce the caste system.

With respect to specific mores and rules, there's a few references to "etiquette." That stuff's inspired by real etiquette manuals from Victorian and Edwardian England, though I've occasionally thrown in my own twist when it suits me. Dance with the one that brought you; you should have an escort to balls, theoretically but not necessarily someone you're interested in; women run the household, men run the estate. There are certain standards of chivalry and respect on the men's part, but there are also standards of ladylike conduct and decorum on the girls'. Daphne is shocked when Katie wears a suit to the Ball— to the point where she's like "?? ARE you a girl?" — because the rules of dress and poise have been so drilled into her. The level of slut-shaming we get from the Slytherin girls (despite several Slytherin girls being sexually active) also indicates how female sexuality is policed in a way male sexuality isn't; the rumors about Draco and Daphne hurt Daphne, not Draco. This double-edged hypocrisy runs hand in hand with the idea that women are training to be wives, and shouldn't be sleeping with people (if anyone) who they're not seriously pursuing for marriage. Relatedly, courting/engaged couples are usually seen together, a la Crabbe and Millicent, because the idea is you're supposed to be preparing for your marriage; now that you're socially connected, you've begun your tenure as a Unit, and you're expected to act like it. It would be strange for Vince or Millie to go to a ball with someone else unless that partner was a relative or (possibly) a close family friend. It would... imply something.

Marriage between a man and woman would be expected, not because purebloods on the whole are traditionalist — which, to be clear, they are — but because the emphasis on bloodlines means children are a priority. Pansy gives us the best précis on this in Book 2. Blaise, being gay, is in an interesting place vis-a-vis the marriage question because his position doesn't come from being heir to an old estate, it's from his mother's money; in that respect, he's not bound by usual expectations of hereditary legacies, which is possibly why he's comfortable being out. (Although there's a blink-and-you-miss-it remark about some tension with his mom in "Miseducation.")

[batwritings]

HEY!! i just stumbled on your account and i LOVE how you write!! can i request a fluff story with Valeria Garza COD? with a fem or gender neutral reader where they’re both pretty old, like mid 60s/70s they have grownup kids and little grandkids, they host a big family gathering and the grandkids wanna know how they both met? could you write about them meeting in their younger years? and specifically, how they met? were they rivals? were they childhood friends? was reader just a civilian who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time? was reader a damsel in distress? (ofc this takes place after valeria retired from her gang!!)

you don’t have to write it now but i haven’t seen anything like this before, and i find it to be a very cute little concept!

OH BTW!! can reader be taller and older than Valeria? like maybe 2-3years older? and can reader have a flirty personality? also maybe more dominant than Valeria because there are hardly any fics like that, it’s always Val who’s the top and dim, let’s give her a break for once please🙏🏻🙏🏻😭😭💕

AGAIN, THANK YOU IF YOU WRITE THIS!!

I will certainly do my best to do this justice friend! Enjoy!~

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"¡Abuelita!" Your grandkids cried, rushing up to your front door. You couldn't help but smile from the kitchen as you worked on food to place on the ofrenda. You could hear the sound of Valeria greeting them and ushering them inside to start on their makeup for the evening.

"Hola mama," came your oldest child, pecking you on the cheek as they put down the extra things they'd brought for Dia de los Muertos. "The others and I are going to go finish getting set up. Can we leave the kids with you and Mama Val?"

You shoot your child a look as if to say "do you really need to ask?" before they smile and run off. It was weird to think that your babies were all grown up now, having niñas and niños of their own. But you wouldn't have it any other way.

With food prep nearly done, you stepped out of your tiny kitchen to check into where Valeria was prepping your grandkids. "Almost done chica settle down," you hear hear chide as you lean in the doorway. At nearly 64, it was harder to do, but it didn't stop you.

"¡Abuelita!" four of the five young kids exclaim rushing up to you to show their makeup. "Don't I look cool?" "Don't I look so pretty?" they asked, clamoring for your attention.

"Si, mi chiquitos," you chuckle, smiling to your partner. "You all look wonderful. And I'm sure people like Tio Diego will be excited to see you."

You could see the sad smile on Valeria's face at the mention of her old right hand. While it had been a few decades since she had gone by "El Sin Nombre", it wasn't a time too long ago for the both of you. You're pulled from your reminiscing by your littlest grandchild, the one your love was currently working on.

"Did Tio Diego introduce you two abuelita?" she asks in her tiny voice. "Is he why we get two abuelitas?" You think for a moment, wondering if she was old enough to know. A few of your grandkids knew of the past between you and Val. Not the entirety of it, but enough to know your first meeting was anything but ordinary or safe.

"He did," Valeria answers before you can, never stopping her wrinkled hand. She puts the finishing touches on the little girls face smiling at her work. "If it weren't for Tio Diego and your abuelita, I probably wouldn't get to be here doing your makeup." Your lover presses a kiss to the girl's head, helping her down off the bed.

"Yeah everyone know that!" Chimes one of your grandsons. "Mama Y/N was a medic in Las Almas and helped Mama Valeria with her injuries."

"Not here?" Asks the youngest, clearly confused. "Where would she be then?"

"I don't know mija," you tell her, leaning over Valeria now. You can faintly hear her grumble about your height. "But that pretty face of hers would certainly compliment the ofrenda."

You revel in the groans that come from your grandkids and the way your wife hides her blushing face in her hands. From the front door, one of you kids calls for the young ones, and they go rushing out to show off you wife's handiwork. You can't help but smile as you watch them go, your lover standing beside you.

"You left out the part where you flirted with me even as my prisoner amor," Valeria hums as she leans up to press a kiss to your cheek. "And how you're a cradle robber." You gape at her in mock offense.

"It's only three years!"

[incarnadinedreams]

I frequently see people saying that the list of traits Jiang Cheng gave to the matchmaker are "impossible standards", ridiculous, unreasonable, outlandish, absurd, nobody could ever possibly meet them, etc.

Anyway the translation that's up on the wiki is:

His requirements in his partner are: naturally beautiful, graceful and obedient, hard-working and thrifty, coming from a respected family, cultivation level not too high, personality not too strong, not too talkative, voice not too loud and must treat Jin Ling nicely.

First off, the list comes from a random trivia answer MXTX gave in an interview, not the novel canon. So whether you even consider it canon at all is up for grabs to begin with. Though I think there was a scene in CQL with a similar list so it would be canon there, minus the Jin Ling point (due to the point in the story the scene was set)? (So I believe the matchmaker blacklisting point still wouldn't be CQL canon though, just the list?)

But if you do take it all as a Super Serious Canon Thing, well... to be honest I just don't think that list is at all unusual, given the setting? I believe many of the points in the list are just traits considered generally good for ladies of the time period (intentionally vague as that time period may be). (I am absolutely not an expert though so please correct me if I'm wrong about that.)

To me it seems that it's not that they're unusually high or unattainable standards, they're just so generic that they're sort of unhelpful. That he has like no idea what he wants at all outside what he's supposed to want.

The only points that actually seem to have any specificity are things like cultivation level not too high. Which some people could interpret negatively, and fair enough. But personally to me that seemed more like a flashing neon sign of 'please someone not like my mother', given her strength in cultivation was one of her defining traits (and something that he may have felt led to her disappointment in him). Even though Jiang Cheng may carry forward some of her traits himself (for better and for worse; this is not a YZY hate zone but there's... a lot there), he does seem to have at least given some thought to choosing a partner to counter some of the pain points of his own childhood and aim for something different (and we see him trying to do that himself in specific ways as well, like his staunch support of Jin Ling when he was crying after the Second Siege, even if he doesn't always fully succeed).

And, of course, 'must treat Jin Ling nicely'. Which seems obvious and not like a big deal at first, but I think actually could reasonably be a big sticking point in a potential marriage. My understanding is that he was wildly more involved in Jin Ling's life than a maternal uncle would normally be. Including this as a specific requirement seems to send a particular type of statement, as if it was important to him that any potential match would not take offense to him treating an orphaned child that wasn't his with a lot of attention and gifts and favor... hmmm, how could he have possibly decided that could be a problem in a marriage...?

(Obviously, the scenario would be very different than his parents' - none of the salacious rumors and the humiliation that came with them that really drove a deeper wedge between YZY and JFM - but he was obviously going to be doing a lot more for Jin Ling than an average uncle so it makes sense to have that be a specific point upfront.)

I'm ultimately in the 'it was MXTX making a joke and not meant to be taken nearly this seriously' with a side of 'the clan leaders of this generation aren't in a hurry to get married because MXTX just didn't feel like writing their wives in and also it was funny' camp so I think there's a limit to how much insight can be gleaned from this, you know? It is fun to play with it in-universe and explore the implications on the society and political system going forward in the decades post-canon, but I do try to keep myself from taking it too seriously when it's clearly not a well-thought-out plot point or anything, just a fun offhand jokey trivia bit.

But I like the vibes of it all well enough to accept it as 'semi-canon' or 'canon enough' for myself anyway because I think the 'must treat Jin Ling nicely' point is cute and the rest is just standard for the setting and the blacklisted by matchmakers part is funny, and I'm much more willing to subsume random bits from interviews into my brain's blorbo blob if it's something funny.

[crimsonlyinglilly]

Day 29 “I’m so cold.”                                    

| Delirium | Fever | Exposure |

Also Bonus prompt “Don’t make me say it again.”

One day down and another two until I've managed one for each day for @juneofdoom.

it's hard to type when your too tired to focus your eyes, but I managed, yay!

Just had to cut out for pieces to do later.

Thanks to @riderofblackdragons for the head canon on why Elijah’s the shortest of his brother.

Back to Northstar in Star, follows on from Part one , as Elijah finds himself losing against Lucien's venom; Freya and Finn attempt to get him home in time.

---

Elijah waits until he’s sure Lucien is really gone before he lets himself check, looking at the large raw wound covering his forearm and using his other hand to probe the one of his neck, the neck wasn’t as messy Lucien hadn’t been able to resist and had mostly drunk from him making the wound smaller but he could feeling the burn from the venom from it just as well. 

He bites through his cheek before it lets out a noise of pain. Lucien was right that these felt different from Klaus’ and normal werewolves bites, burning sharper, deeper and spreading faster.

Suddenly for the first time in so long, death was coming for him and there was no escape, this wasn’t something he could endure or fight against, he was going to die.

A strange almost empty feeling grew in the pit of his stomach but at the same time there was a sense of relief, if he died he couldn't be forced to lose anyone else he loved, he couldn’t fail anymore.

He’s pulled from his thoughts as Finn literally pulls his arm away to see the bite on his neck.

He shakes himself as he realises both Finn and Freya had converged on him and were looking at him with concern.

“Finn, wake up Vincent,” He orders, before they can speak, trying to distract them, they didn't have time to worry over him “and lets hope he can drive or Matthew will need to.”

He sighed when Finn didn’t move, just giving him a look.

“Neither of you can drive and I won't be safe to drive for long.” Elijah explained to them, ending with a shudder that he couldn’t hide.

They’re was a growing urge to scratch at his burning veins, to draw out the poison any way he could but it would do little to help so he ignored it. The shudder at least got rid of Finn's stubborn look even as it made them grow more concerned Freya reaching out to grab his arm.

“I would rather not die in the same place, Henrik, you and Kol did.” he added.

“You're not going to die.” Finn tells him, Elijah wants to question Finn, the way Finn always inspires him to, a long leftover habit from childhood to annoy him because that at least got him to look at Elijah. He wants to ask him why the idea of his death suddenly upsets him but they don't have time.

“I likely don't have much more than 30ish hours and it’ll take nearly that long to get back.” he reminds them and quiets the voice in his mind questioning if he’ll last that long, two bites, twice the venom, Traffic, maybe it was already too late to tell Klaus and Kol goodbye in person.

He was going to die.

He already didn’t have enough time to see Rebekah, at least he had already passed her location on. He swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat as not being able to see his little sister again, that their last time would be him stabbing her in the heart.

The last time he had talked to Henrik had been an argument too, one he could never make up because he knew he wouldn't be going where his innocent little brother was.

“We don't die from-” Finn was speaking as he blinked back into the conversation, he had gotten distracted again, that wasn’t a good sign.

“Don't make me say this again,” he spoke around the lump to explain “Lucien is right, this feels different.

“Klaus' blood should cure you.” Freya offered, stepping in as a peacekeeper.

“Only if I last that long.” he said, wincing as slightly as they both flinched, he didn't even believe the words if that was true Lucien wouldn't have left them the chance, he had a good reason to want Elijah dead, one Elijah would admit was fair after what he had done. Lucien wanted him to suffer and wanted Klaus to as well; he wouldn't risk giving Klaus the triumph of being able to save him unless it would fail.

Still Elijah wanted to go back to New Orleans, to die in the closest place that had become home since they died the first time.

“We’ll call him, have him meet us halfway-” Freya started.

“Don't.” he snapped, he didn’t want them racing to meet them, and didn't want to worry them sooner than they needed “Tell him to meet us at the compound.” he added as a compromise.

“Just- Finn.” He sent his brother a look when he opened his mouth to argue,whether it was solely to side against Elijah or to side with Freya, he wasn’t sure but he was relieved when Finn returned an annoyed sigh and turned away.

Elijah watched as Finn knelt to wake Vincent, biting open his wrist as he did, Elijah would feel for the witch as he wouldn't be pleased with vampire blood in his system but his new countdown made it hard to care.

 As much as he hated playing along with Lucien's plan he wanted to see his brothers before he died.

He was going to die.

He startled as a hand settled on his forehead, and found himself blinking down at Freya.

“Why?” she asked with narrowed eyes, but then Freya had, he had discovered a almost instinct on when he was leaving something important out, it was strange for someone who had barely known him a year to be able to read him better than Klaus and Rebekah ever had but he placed in on the fact he had years of practice hiding things from them, had build up the appearance that his younger siblings rarely questioned, that fooled Finn most the time.

Not Freya though.

“Freya, i need you to find a way to transfer my sireline, before we get back to New Orleans.” he explains a half thought plan, if he died he’d take his sireline with him, remind the remain vampires of their weakness and endanger Rebekah who was already cursed and risk bringing attention back on the rest of his family.

He couldn’t let that happen.

“Elijah?”she called, withdrawing her hand, Elijah frought back against the urge to follow the gentle touch  “Klaus’ blood will cure you.” she tells him and the words he had to tell her the likely truth failed on his tongue.

The hope and belief, he didn’t want to take that from her. Her and Finn he thinks, ‘so young’ suddenly looking between her and Finn, her having lived not much more than her appearance showed and Finn while away within the coffin hadn’t truly lived much over a century.

It made more sense they would live and he didn’t, he had already wasted too much time, and failed to use it correctly.

“Still” he pressed on “i want you to transfer my sireline, just encase, if i do fall then it will make Rebekah more of a target, besides it’s too powerful to waste.”

Freya was thankfully as pragmatic as him, so he watched her realise the uses of it and pushed aside her concerns over him to nod.

“So you want me to transfer it to Klaus?” she asked.

"No Kol.” he corrected

“Why Kol?”

“His died with him, he-” he says, his words failed him for a second as he swallowed around the block in his throat as he realised the truth in the following words “it’s the last thing I can leave to make up for failing him.”

He was going to die without even managing to fix it, siding with Klaus countless times, leaving Kol in the box for everyone else’s aske, letting him die twice then interfering with Davina’s spell to bring him back.

“You didn't- you don't need to do this to do that.” she said softly and Elijah didn’t have the words to explain how wrong she was, so he stared instead.

Her frown deepened and then without warning he was pulled into a hug.

“I’m your older sister. I made vows to protect you when you were in our mother's belly, I mean to keep them.” she spoke clearly, her arms steady around him before she released him and looking at him as he failed to hide his shock “I won't lose you, not after I waited so long to meet you.”

The numbness shuddered inside him making him realise it was fear; fear at what would come next, at leaving them mixed with resignation warring against relief.

“I must have been a disappointment after all your dreams.” He told her dryly, wry smile hiding the mixed feelings, the last thing he wanted was to put that on her.

“Never.” She told him, hand coming back up to rest on his cheek, “because you're real and so better than a dream in a hundred ways.”

He looked at his older sister, aching at the idea of what life could have been like if he had the chance to grow up under that caring gaze and swallowed it down, placing the longing into the growing numbness.

Finn returns with an annoyed but awake Vincent and Matthew soon after, Elijah had to bite back a comment; his brother, the teenager who killed him and the witch whose body he stole all shared the same expression.

On the first part of the journey back Elijah spends it typing out goodbye emails on his phone, more permanent than a phone call, he ignores the growing difficulties to stay focused on the words and lets himself lean into Freya. Her hand running through his hair to reassure herself she hadn’t lost him as he tries to ignore the going effects of the venom, hitting him hard and coming faster than any of those he dealt with before.

—-

Finn looked down at Elijah as his brother pulled him aside while Freya and Vincent disappeared into the gas station. He had watched from the front seat as Freya had fussed over Elijah, now standing in the sun he realises why?

Elijah doesn’t look good, the beads of sweat gathering on his skin, faint shivering breaking past his control, the way he didn’t seem to notice he was curling in on himself making him look smaller, then again Elijah had never liked letting people know when he was sick.

Finn remembers the time he had to carry Elijah back to the hut when eight year old Elijah had passed out while he was helping him collect water, more worried about Klaus and Kol, to tell them about his own illness.

Elijah hiding it had caused it to grow worse that he had only started to recover a week later, Mikael had berated Elijah for stupidly hiding it when Finn knew he would have praised him if he hadn't been caught, if it hadn't almost killed him.

Not that Elijah had cared about his own health more upset he had made it more difficult for mother and him, he had never really outgrown that Finn remembered.

Elijah at sixteen, when over the course of a bad winter, Elijah had passed too much of his food to their younger siblings and the first spring rain had caused a cold that had almost taken him.

He‘s not sure Elijah ever really recovered from the weight that their parents hadn’t even noticed him losing, if that was the reason Elijah hadn't grown much after that, why it had looked like Henrik would outgrow him as well.

“You need to switch with Freya.” Elijah told him without any warm up, explaining further with “She won't be safe when the delirium hits.” when Finn gave him a stare “I don't want the last thing I do on this earth to be killing the sister we just came here to save.”

“Fine but you're not going to die, we’ll get back for Klaus-” he stops speaking as the wide humourless smile on his brother’s face.

“I am familiar with both normal wolves and Klaus’ venom, this is going to kill me.” his always know-it-all little brother tells him with a strange look in his eyes.

“No.” he refuses that, but Elijah ignores him

“Must be your lucky day you get Freya back and are finally free of me.“ Elijah continues with almost glee.

“I don’t want this “ he tried, but Elijah’s smile never wavered. Finn frowned as he noted what Elijah was doing, pushing him away, to spare him, perhaps he thinks making him angry would sooth the hurt grief would cause or making it easier on himself, no doubt Elijah would be blaming himself for dying and leaving the family when they needed the help.

“Be honest brother, you're relieved it’s me and not you. Elijah told him, not a spec of doubt in his own words leaving Finn feeling worse “Finn, if it's the last thing you do for me, be honest.“

“Yes” Finn sighed to play along, prepared for the float of hurt that getting what he wanted would cause him, like it did Klaus.

“Thank you.” Elijah smiled, bright and honest and Finn felt sick at the absence of bitterness or anger. “It's only fair I've lived longer than both of you, it's time.”

Finn stares as Elijah turns away, suddenly sure those words were going to haunt him.

There was no such thing as fair.

He had hated them the most, his dark haired brothers, reminders of the monster that stole Freya; Elijah born right after Freya’s loss, Kol gifted with Magic in a way that reminded him of her and Henrik the first to manage to keep the father Finn remembered when he had always faded for the others.

Henrik died, a child before he could ever really earn Finn’s hate, Kol died by his hand and would never forgive him and now Elijah’s dying, because of him after a thousand years taking his responsibilities.

It seemed Elijah’s fears of the danger to Freya were unfounded as he passed out soon after their return to the car, Finn didn't like the growing knowledge that it wasn't a good thing. Elijah wasn't fighting off the venom but becoming affected faster.

---

Finn spent much of his time sitting stiffly with Elijah leaning against him, brown hair out of the corner of his eye and warm weight bringing back memories of before they became monsters, when he helped mother with Elijah's fevers.

Still he hadn’t realised how bad the fever had gotten until he felt Elijah shift moving closer on purpose, almost trying to bury himself into Finn’s shoulder in a way he hadn’t since before he hit double digits.

“I'm so cold.” Elijah murmured softly into his shoulder, shivering violently, despite the warmth Finn can feel from him.

It took Finn a moment to realise it wasn't in modern english but their native tongue.

It's difficult to shift himself around in the back of the car, neither he or Elijah were small men but he managed to remove his jacket and wrap it around his shivering brother, if he ended up with Elijah further on him then no one would mention it.

Elijah’s half glazed eyes revealed it was unlikely for him to remember any of this anyway.

“Finnbjǫrn.” Elijah exhaled shakily.

He hissed at the use of his birth name, the ones none of them ever used anymore.

“Eylaugr” he tried to say softly, it came out rougher that he planned the sudden lump in his throat trying to choke him, not that Elijah noticed.

“Don’t feel right.” he slurred, mixing english and old norse.

Finn hummed, lifting a hand to run his thumb across his brother's forehead the way he had watched mother do long ago.

They just had to get to Klaus, he told himself and ignored the growing pit in his stomach that told him Elijah was right, that this wasn’t fixable.

He couldn’t accept another dead brother in his hands, he couldn’t be the reason his family lost Elijah. He’d watched with envy when they followed him easily when they were children, he didn’t want to see them fall, lost without their northstar.

It's a few hours still from New Orleans when the peaceful sleep he managed to help Elijah fall into fails and he starts whimpering in his sleep.

Elijah's hands tighten to a painful degree, fingers digging in, likely learning bruises where Finn hadn't even noticed his brother's grip.

Finn holds him when everything he tries fails and meets Freya's equally fearful eyes in the mirror.

Finn rarely had the chance to use the powers that came with being a vampire, besides that he had experimented with them, before he ended up in the box. So he uses the contact and pulls Elijah into a memory.

The Elijah that he finds in the memory looks six at most but the eyes he meets are far older.

—-

Freya hated being stuck in the front of the car watching as Elijah faded to the venom, shudders building until he couldn't hide them, even after whatever Finn had done to soothe them.

They were an hour from home, when the quiet whimpers became words.

Finn startled back from the trance he was in and met her eyes as he noticed the quiet pleas leaving Elijah’s lips.

“Stop.” Elijah pleaded quietly trying to pull himself from Finn's hands, shaking his head, “don't, I'll be better, I promise.”

“What happened?” she asks. “It’s affecting him, in there as well.” Finn explains wide eyed and Freya who had learnt everything to expect with vampires and werewolf venom since she finally got to reunite with her siblings knew that wasn't right, “he thinks Lucien over estimated him.” Finn admits thickly

“We’re almost there.” she tells him, trying to reinsure them both.

Years she had dreamed of having them both, her little brothers, she was so sure she could help the bond, fix what her absence had caused. That she could have all her siblings. Now she was watching as she lost Elijah, she could almost hear Dahlia laughing at her, failing her promise to him as soon as she finally gave it to him.

He had looked so heartbreakingly shocked at her words, that it had made her angry at Finn for a moment.

Watching as Finn struggled to sooth Elijah, gutted that anger and just left her helpless.

“Elijah, it's ok we're almost there.” Finn echoed trying to bring Elijah back to awareness.

“C-celeste, ma amour, merce.” Elijah cries out breathlessly in French, unaware of any of them.

[ms-cartoon]

So sorry for the wait! I wanted to take a break from Helluva Boss for a little while because I needed to focus on other things. I feel like I’m a little late for it, but I don’t care all that much. As much as I like to have fun criticizing Helluva Boss, I don’t want my blog to be completely centered around the topic. I mainly signed into this site for my art, despite the lack of attention it gets. So you probably won’t be seeing so much post about the show as much as you used to. It’ll probably only be a once in a while kind of thing. But anyway . . . .

For once, we actually have an episode where the plot is focused on IMP doing their JOBS since the Cherub episode! Bet y'all this won't last long.

 Of course, this is another “Let’s shit on Moxxie” episode and it sucked a**. Moxxie was surprisingly annoying this whole episode. I feel like the writers just straight up ruined his character for me. It’s bad enough that his story arc is really repetitive where he’s a scrawny loser that nobody likes to him toughening up at the last minute, but with this episode being the same damn thing only with him being a big crybaby about it and so desperate for attention???? And from some petty teenagers too, like--

Plus, Blitzo stays an asshole to nearly everyone around him like always. And the fact that we’re supposed to sympathize with him this whole time because he’s in his feelings and is all boohoo because his sister don’t like him is even more ridiculous and irritating. 

On the plus side, Millie actually has some character development to her, but not even that is satisfying. Actually, I think the writers may have just failed with that one and I’ll explain why later.

So most of this episode is mainly centered around Moxxie and Millie who had to complete a mission for a client while Blitzo is taking care of whatever he has his concerns about, being his sister, Barbie. So, he leaves Moxxie in charge and the two arrive at this summer camp where the client was killed. To disguise themselves, they dress up as the opposite of their genders and they pretend to be brother and sister.

One of the issues I had with this episode is that, like always, there are up to three plots mixed in one pot. We have Blitzo trying to search for his sister, M&M completing their mission without Blitzo, and Moxxie all up in his feelings about his insecurities yet again. Like bro- why can't we just save one of these for ANOTHER EPISODE. Honestly, it’s not like we need a Moxxie episode anyway. We already have enough of that, and lets be real, no lessons are learned. Like this could've been a two-part episode where in the first part Blitzo is looking for his sister and we get a flashback on their childhood and why their relationship is the way it is, and the second part would be focused on Moxxie and Millie on their mission while Blitzo is handling what he's handling. Even then, Moxxie's insecurities could still be a side plot to that second part. But we can't have NONE of that, because the writers just have to rush everything!!

 -- So Blitzo is trying to visit Barbie at the rehab center. . . . through a window??? Like, why can’t you check in at the front door?  As soon as he sneaks in, he’s caught by one of the workers there who tases him and tells him to go away.

So when Blitzo asks about Barbie before leaving, she tells him,

"She's got a job now. A life."

A "job" that consists of illegal drug dealing? Unless this woman doesn't know what Barbie is really involved in, she shouldn't be vouching for her as if she got her life together. And it's also pretty ironic because this is a REHAB Barbie came from. Either the rehab didn't do a good job of helping Barbie or Barbie is so irresponsible and inconsistent, she just left and is using drugs again. Considering the results of her life now, I'm going for the latter.

-- Also, if Blitzo hasn’t seen Barbie in months, why does he decide now that he wants to visit her?? Why hasn’t he been contacting her until now.

-- So Blitzo shows up at the office while M&M are taking care of a client. Moxxie tries to talk to him about it, but Blitzo keeps brushing him off telling him, “Now’s not the time Moxxie!”

Dude! Just get the stupid mission out the way and you could look for your sister then! You got PLENTY of time right after! I don’t care how frustrated you are, you’re their BOSS! What’s the point in you trusting Moxxie to get anything done if you just end up talking shit to him in the end just to be a jerk??

-- Moxxie: Don't worry sir. We'll find your killer, and give him what's coming to him . . . And/Or her . . . .Or they . . . .

Just say "them". That should've been the first pronoun that comes to mind when you're describing someone you don't know the gender to. I might just be overthinking it, but if this dragged-on line might've been Viv's way of showing everyone that she and the writers are acknowledging the LGBT community, then . . . No shit, ma'am. We get it, more than enough of your characters have a sexuality that is anything but straight. We can't even count!

-- So M&M makes it to the human world in gender switched disguises and this is where Moxxie starts to become a nuisance from now to the rest of this show. They're hiding in the bushes, and they spot an obvious suspect of the murder. Millie correctly assumes he was involved, but Moxxie keeps brushes off her assumptions saying,

"That's all circumstantial at best."

My guy . . . . He has a whole bag of CASH and DRUGZ the client mentioned, he's holding a DRILL he most likely used to sink the boat to drown the client, and he's sneaking in a shed with a cautioned look on his face!! HE’S OBVIOUSLY THE MURDERER!! You're so hellbent on wanting to take charge and here you are already f**king it up!!!

So now Moxxie is wasting his time associating himself with these stupid adolescents to investigate even though the murderer was RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM!!! Like, he literally ignores him for the rest of the day, not even suspecting him in the slightest!! Aren't you supposed to be the smart one here???

-- Moxxie tries and fails immediately at this whole roleplaying shtick, lol! Nah cuz first off, how you just gonna barge in on somebody's conversation?? Much less approach these girls as if you know them?? You obviously didn't think things through. Also, seeing Moxxie act like a teenage girl is like watching SpongeBob in a dress with a southern accent.

Freakin' Bugs Bunny can pull off a better female disguise and he can act like ONE HELL OF A WOMAN. He'll make you question your sexuality without even trying.

What I'm trying to say is Moxxie is trying too hard with this roleplay and it's making me cringe.

-- Moxxie with try-hard valley girl accent: “I’m Moxxine and I’m the prettiEst gurl in my school! And all the bois want meee!”

“My favorite coloouur is hot-pink because normal pink is SOOOOoooo basic!”

“I gAt my first periAd last year... and it was sOOo heveey.”

“YEEou wAnnA be FrieeeENDs???”

Moxxine. . . . Do us all a favor and SHUT. UP.

-- Female Camper to Moxxie: “The f**k is wrong with your legs??”

One of the rarest of times in Helluva Boss where a human is actually questioning one of these characters’ very obvious demon features. But it doesn’t matter cuz they continue to act stupid for the sake of the plot throughout the rest of the episode.

-- Y’all see how these girls jump from making fun of Moxxie’s red skin to swooning over Millie and saying this-

“Look at how beautifully tan he is!”

Bish, both of them practically have the same skin!! TF!!!??

Also, I know Millie’s supposed to be a dude right now and the kids are supposed to fall for it and believe that she is a dude, but-

I don’t even understand the point of these gender-swapped disguises aside from them only to add comedy to the plot or something or to make it convenient for everyone.

Okay, let's just say this little shot of Millie turning around right here doesn't help. THIS does NOT convince me that Millie is a boy. Especially with them long AF eyelashes. If anything, she looks more like a tomboy with a pretty face.

-- I’m not gonna jump back and forth to Blitzo and his situation cuz I just don’t care and his little side plot seems unnecessary in this episode (or maybe just the other way around. This episode could’ve been about Blitzo and his sister). But the gist of it is that he’s asking around for Barbie’s whereabouts and he immediately gets violent if anyone even slightly questions him. And there’s even the part where he comes across a succubus (or incubus since he’s male) that has an asmodean crystal and he gets violent with him too, putting him at gunpoint to force him to open the portal to the human world. 

First off, I get that he’s desperate to look for Barbie, but is it really necessary for him to hurt people and force questions out of ‘em?? Are we really supposed to be siding with Blitzo here???

Second off, why does Blitzo even bother trying to force a succubus to open a portal with the crystal?? HE ALREADY HAS STOLAS’S GRIMOIRE! He could just go back to the office and use it there! Plus, it’s WAY too much of a coincidence that the portal would immediately take Blitzo where Barbie is, not to mention them being in the same summer camp that Moxxie and Millie are in. It makes more sense for the portal to stop somewhere randomly and Blitzo would have to continue looking for Barbie like he’s been doing.

-- So everybody is just okay with Millie practically killing these children? Like I get its just for comedy, but . . . . they’re still adolescents. These staff members should be fired.

-- Millie is feeling so happy and joy-joy over these kids liking her that she sings a song about it, which bored the hell outta me, so I skipped it. Why is she feeling suddenly ecstatic over this sudden fame?? As if she’s NEVER been acknowledged for her strength and skills before when she already gets enough of that from her husband, Blitzo, and her family. And even then, she wasn’t even that excited over those acknowledgements. Why is it so different with a bunch of random human beings you’re never gonna see again. I don’t even think Millie should be happy over this anyway. It’s not like these kids even like her genuinely. All there is her (or in their eyes, his) pretty face.

-- Why is there suddenly so much merch of Millie?? It hasn’t even been a day yet!!!

 -- Moxxie is sitting in the sidelines feeling jealous she’s suddenly gaining all this attention. He even tries to sing a song as Millie suggested that goes along the lines of

 “Hey! Pay attention to me! I’m better and prettier than all of you and you should like me! Pay attention to me! ME ME ME ME ME ME--”

Which is so out of character for him, btw. Like- WTF am I watching right now??? It’s just beyond embarrassing! You forget this is CHILDREN you’re singing too! Also, not to disrespect Richard Steven Horvitz. He’s a good voice actor and he played some awesome characters I like, but he is NO singer and he’s not even that good. I mean, he can stay on note, but that’s it. I don’t know what fans are going gaga about. Of course, this stupid song doesn’t work, and everyone continues to put their attention on Millie, so Moxxie walks off and cries like a bitch baby. . . . . No, I’m serious! He’s hiding in a tool shed and balling like a little petty teenager screaming, “Go away! Leave me alone. I wanna go home.”

Like bro- Did you just forget why you and your wife are even here in the first place?? Why are you even feelin all bad about a bunch of kids not liking you?? There not even that likable enough to be gaining attention from. And Millie trying to coax him and get him out of his temper tantrum is honestly stupid and embarrassing cuz first off, she shouldn’t have to and second off, she’s basically giving him the same advice she’s been giving him since the harvest moon festival when she shouldn’t have to. You see what I mean when I say this is another Moxxie episode with the same damn plot??

Viv and the crew are really screwing with Moxxie’s character here, from him being an untalented loser to him crying because he’s an untalented loser and suddenly getting jealous of his own wife (who’s suddenly talented at EVERYTHING for some reason). Like its kinda hard for me to even look at him.

Millie tells him once again to just do what he’s good at and continue to investigate by playing to his strengths, in which he keeps failing at the rest of the week, getting eaten by bears and sharks, hit with by a volleyball, shot with bow and arrows, y’know just constant Moxxie torture porn as if we’ve haven’t had enough of that already.

-- Excited for a concert she’s suddenly getting involved in (okay I thought this was a summer camp. Why is there a concert involved??) Millie shows up and tells Moxxie about it, not even realizing he’s not feeling the best of moods right now. Alright. . . . I know Millie’s having fun here, but she cannot be that unaware that her husband is having a hard time.

Now this where we finally get to see Moxxie and Millie having a serious argument for a change. And it’s pretty interesting to see. I was actually hoping to see the day where we see M&M fighting for once to show they're not always a perfect couple, and now here we are. Still, how the show goes about their argument doesn’t exactly work . . . . for either of them really.

On Moxxie’s end, he’s upset and jealous that Millie is practically a celebrity to these kids and suddenly goes off on her for it. And he had the absolute AUDACITY to say this- 

“We have a JOB to do, Millie! Meanwhile, you’re dancing for views!”

Um, EXCUSE YOU SIR- What do you mean, “We have a JOB to do”? You’re the one that wanted to waste your time associating yourself with these kids and investigate THEM instead of the actual murder who was right there under your nose!! You weren’t even worried about the mission this whole damn time! You were so stuck on wanting to get so much attention from these campers, you completely ignored it!

On one hand, you’re like, “HiiEEE! I’m Moxxine!! Everyone pay attention to me!” Not focused on your job AT ALL!

On the other hand, once you see Millie getting so much love, you’re like, “Millie!! We got a job to do! Stop paying attention to these people and focus on the mission!!”

Bro, this has NOTHING to do with Millie not being focused! You’re just jealous she’s getting the attention that you want. Like seriously- This is unrealistically so out of character for Moxxie! Why is he being such a hypocritical dick here???

On Millie’s end? She pretty much has every right to be upset with Moxxie because he was being unreasonably mad at her. But what she says here was completely out of nowhere!!

Millie: "For once, I feel like I . . . like I'm important!"

Frikin WHAT Millie!!??

What do you mean?? Since WHEN have you ever felt unimportant to anything?? Literally, WHEN was there a time when you felt inferior or second-best to ANYONE!! This entire show, you've been shown already to be much more stronger and talented than your freakin husband!! With looks, your fighting skills, and precisely everything else you've shown off this entire episode!! The only one who should be feeling unimportant, who HAS been feeling unimportant is MOXXIE!! From Blitzo whose been treating him like crap, to Loona whose also treating him like crap, to Millie's parents and everyone else in her family who don't even like him, to Striker showing off and trying to be better than him, his own damn FATHER, his ex-boyfriend, a ton of kids at a stupid camp-- Freakin EVERYONE is always shitting on Moxxie while Millie is getting the most acknowledgment. Are we sure Moxxie is the only one being selfish here??

Also, I can get that Viv, Adam, and the writers FINALLY gave Millie a certain character and development to her here, but it still doesn't work and they failed! Know why? Cuz once again, where did this sudden inferiority come from??!! Since when has Millie felt she was unimportant to anyone or unworthy of praise? She already gets enough love and praise from her parents. Blitzo always acknowledged her and is hardly mean to her at all. And of course she get's enough support from her husband who loves her more than anything and he always notices her. So honestly, she shouldn't be feeling unimportant to anything. 

Y’know, Millie’s side of the argument here would’ve made sense had there already been an episode just about HER! It would’ve made sense if we we’re shown that Millie had once felt unimportant and that she was no one to be proud of. Then we would’ve understood her side of the argument. But instead, the writers suddenly just drops some angst onto Millie out of nowhere with no kind of depth or build-up. We don’t even know why Millie is feeling the way she never felt before because it was never acknowledged.

And what’s worse is that this is another MOXXIE episode where we’re meant to pay more attention to Moxxie and his little insecurities for the FIFTH DAMN TIME! Where Millie’s feelings and development are only used as a tool for Moxxie to make up his development. Similar to Octavia or Stella who are used as underdeveloped tools for us to sympathize with Stolas and make him out to be a good person when he’s actually pretty selfish and terrible.

Lemme just jump to the next topic before I get off track here.

-- Moxxie finally continues with the mission like he should’ve done already, and he bumps into Blitzo. Realizing Moxxie is still getting the mission complete after a week, Blitzo replies with-

“THIS is why I don’t trust you with dick, Moxx.”

Bro stfu! The first time Moxxie brought it up to you in the office, you told him to get out and handle it on his own. You probably should’ve expected something like this. Also, how did you not realize Moxxie and Millie have been gone for a week??? You couldn’t have been that hellbent on finding your sister the entire time you couldn’t notice anything!!

-- Moxxie (about Barbie): Do you know her?”

Blitzo: Do I know her- That’s my SISTER, f*ckface!”

Ay man! Dial it back with the name-calling!! How was Moxxie supposed to know that’s your sister, especially with the human disguise?

-- OH!! So Barbie can have a human disguise while being an imp, but with Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie, Viv or any of the artist working on this show won’t take the time of day to come up with their human disguise!!?

Not that her human disguise is all that great anyway. Like, why are her arms and hands still the same, but with different skin.

-- As expected, Barbie turns out to be a bitch and unlikable. Like if you just take away her human form, you’d see a gender swapped version of Blitzo, and I’m not just saying that cuz they’re twins. It’s honestly disappointing, cuz I was actually looking foward to seeing her and was at least hoping there would be something good about her only for me to see her shaking her stuff to this minor. I mean- what the hell?? And NO Viv! It doesn’t matter if this boy is 18. Barbie is Blitzo’s age (around 30) with a huge age gap and it’s freaking wrong!! She even acknowledged that he was way younger than her when she confessed to manipulating him. She’s literally grooming this kid!!

-- How many times is Moxxie gonna fall in and out of being a great fighter!? He’ll be weakling at one point, to being strong the next, right back to being a weakling the next episode, being strong the next, and repeat. CAN HE FIGHT OR NOT??

-- I don’t like how we’re jumping back n forth to Millie wowing these campers.  Can’t we just focus on the fight? How is she doing all these tricks while playing music at the same time? That’s tiring as hell! Since WHEN was she a musician!! And did this bitch just swallow a whole literal SWORD!!!!

-- Okay, I’ll give it to ya . . . I laughed at that one.

-- Blitzo: Barbie wait! Let me help you. . . . . you’re clean now.”

No, no she isn’t.

-- As stated above, Blitzo wants to reconcile with Barbie, begging her to let him help her and even suggested they eat somewhere, but she immediately turns him down, telling him she never wants to see him again and to never look for her. But WHY though!!? What happened between these two? What did Blitzo do that was so bad, she ended up hating him?? How’re y’all gonna keep introducing characters that have bad blood with another and NEVER explore it the rest of the episode?? You see what I mean when I say this episode could’ve been about Blitzo and Barbie and what went on with the two??? But instead what we get is Barbie just being on screen for less than 4 minutes!!

-- HOLY MOLY SHIT, VIV AND ADAM!!! What the hell is it with y’all and these incest jokes!!!

Yeah, I know they’re not actually brother and sister, but to everybody else they are! If they were just gonna end up getting it on in the end, why didn't they just pretend they were boyfriend and girlfriend or something?? And y’all really couldn’t wait until you were in private where nobody is around.

How y’all like Millerd now?

-- Blitzo: “Gotta be honest Moxxie . . . . not to bad for your first solo mission.”

Moxxie: *Gasp* Really sir?

Blitzo: “Nah. . . . You’re a f*cking disgrace.”

Says the guy whose sister can’t even stand him!!?

And why is Moxxie sittin there and on the verge of tears? Usually if Blitzo is talking shit to him, he would talk back. If not that, he would glare and growl at him. And Millie! Why is it that every time your husband is getting shat on, you just sit there??!! Actually stand up for him instead of just sitting and glaring.

-- These animators really can’t keep up with where to draw Millie’s beauty mark. It’s underneath her corner of her eye in one shot to it being on her cheek in the next. Sometimes, it right beside her lip.

So yeah, this was just plain DUMB! To Moxxie’s character turning into shit, to Millie’s character development making no sense, to Blitzo’s being an unsympathetic jerk, to Barbie being a groomer and a jerk.

*Sigh* I need a nap.