#but anyways i'm actually super proud of this set? except two of them which are just okay to me these all came out REALLY good. imo :3

[slutnali]

hola, belleza 💖 here's a question: what do you think is your best fic/wip, and why? you can pick more than one, and i really want you to compliment yourself!

hola preciosaaa💜✨

posted? it would have to be

tripping, falling, with no safety net: this is my cc sashnetra fic of the two of them during the competition. i remembered hearing about how during filming the queens are allowed to go to the gym and/or the pool for about 30 minutes with one of the other queens. so being delusional and insane with @dawningofdrag on discord, we went on a spiral just hc'ing how neech and sash would become closer and it became like our baby. i know it isn't long, just under 2k words, but i was proud of myself for writing cc and actually posting. it also got pretty well reception and the comments on that fic still make me smile !!

ch2 is supposed to be set during the standup ep when neech and sash are paired together and essentially sasha gives neech a peptalk in untucked. but i'm not sure if I'll ever get around to it :/

as for my best (and fave) wip, it'd definitely have to be my baker nali x handywoman rosie. i've talked to you at lengths about this one but it truly has some of my favorite tropes and themes. to be completely honest it was sorta inspired by some trixya fics around as2 or a little after that?? [yes i had a trixya phase back then] writers who i'd befriended at that time [no longer active in the fandom] who wrote au's i'd never think of, especially when it came to people like trixie and katya.

i feel like most of the sapphic fics in the fandom never really feature butch lesbians?? [but then again i only read fics for the ships i really love so i could've missed it!] which i kinda understand since most of the drag queens have super high femme aesthetics, some venturing into alt or masc aesthetics etc... but anyway, i wanted to venture into a femme x butch love story and i dont know, i guess something diff i hadn't really seen before for rosenali fics.. i have a whole outline of this slice of life type of fic that i'm not sure i'll ever finish but i have so much love for it and the type of love between the two of them.. its like freshly made bread gifted to you. except i made the bread and im gifting the bread to myself

[zensations35]

how do you think specific marvel characters (specifically tony stark) would sneeze? like manner of sneezing and pre and post sneeze, etc etc -

or like how would they handle a cold or allergies?

any snzcanons really :)

GODS I LOVE MARVEL ASKS (*/ω＼*)

Ok, so, I showed this off a big in my fic Viral Paradox but I'll hash it out here too!

Tony:

EH FUCK IT. Unrestrained. "Idgaf who sees me sneeze" mindset (except maybe under certain circumstances?)

He might hold back when he's hiding illness, but honestly he probably doesn't do that much, as we see him going back and forth on screen hiding and being openly fucked up on screen. He's got issues and I think it's very situational how he'd handle sneeze or illness.

Definitely a wet sneezer tho 🤭And he'd 100% indulge our kink.

Bruce:

Kittenish. Ironic. And it makes everyone snort with restrained laughter. He gets embarrassed but has a (witty?) remark for anyone who has a snipe about it (usually Tony).

"You don't want to see me when I hulk sneeze."

Tony: "That's super gross, dude."

Bruce: *glare*

Natasha:

*sneezes*

Everyone stares in shock.

Nat: *glowers*

Suddenly everyone's phones all become so interesting.

Nat absolutely stifles. I'll talk about other stiflers, but there are two Main Stiflers on the list, and it's Natasha and Loki (I'll cover him later). These two are the ones who have that 'get it on lockdown dammit!' mindset where they can't bee seen as weak (very similar trauma and backgrounds of people who make them feel weak unless certain criteria are met). Viewing illness or sneezing in general weakness is TRACK for Nat.

Also she basically RUNS the Avenger household and while Tony thinks he could do it fine, Nat knows (and Bruce knows it to lol) that things would hit shit very quickly if Nat left it in his hands, so she just Needs to take a bunch of Dayquil and muscle through ok? It'll be fiiiiine.

(Bonus, she does have a backup plan just in case and it involves putting Pepper briefly in charge of Big Brain stuff --with everyone except Tony making superhero decisions 🤣)

Side Note: Y'all, I give Tony a lot of shit, but just know he's a top tier character for me. I know he's smart and capable. His character development is fucking PEAK. I absolutely would die for him. I just love picking on early Tony.

Cap:

Used to be very sickly; asthma, allergies, the works. He's constantly expecting things to set him off. Probably still has an inhaler (just in case!) But super serum means not much makes with the sniffles. The Avenger fam, however, doesn't know anything other than "Cap is super resilient haha!"

So, when he actually does sneeze, they all freak out OMG OMG IT'S A SUPERBUG™ !! All except Bucky, who i just...reading the paper all chill.

"Relax, yall. Steve's just..." and then he shares a look with Cap and a silent convo... 'are you alright?'

Bruce does bloodwork anyway.

Cap Part 2:

I also like this hc where Cap has been under the ice for so long Steve is photic?? Even though it's not canon I Desire it. Maybe to keep it 'consistent' (i mean, do I really NEED a reason but hufhufhu~) it could be early days only.

Lots of teary eyed squinting and hitching in bright lights, especially while he's being evaluated during the early days of ice recovery. Doctors were annoyed, having to pause their work for random sneezing.

As for snz sound, I image there's a P in there somewhere. Y'all know I like my Z's, but for Cap I think more of a "psh!" or something in that vein.

Thor:

Uhhh God of Thunder. Need I say more? SURE? A pic is worth a thousand words. And this commission says it all, really.

Loud. Booming really. A THUNDER GOD SNZ ECHOS and he's...proud of it. Ahahaha...oh he'll apologize. But yeah. He's fucking proud.

-> This guy can not do the sneeze while hiding scenario. Not...um...unless it ends with getting caught. And...zapped. Which, well, I am prone to writing. Sooooo~

Here's where I'm open to interpretation with Thor. I lean more torward him being a WHINLY LIL SHIT when he's sick, because (I read a few of the Loki/Thor Marvel canon novels because I'm a huge gd nerd) and as younguns it just REFLECTS the whole 'golden child' treatment and 'Thor ate that spaghetti so welll! Good job Thor!!' So I want to say...(and we do see this in the movies, especially early on) he expects special treatment. So, getting sick? *nods sagely*

Thor laying bonelessly across the bed: "You have to take care of me. Bring me <insert special food and drink specifically from Asgard>."

Random Avenger: "....you know I can't actually go there, right?"

Loki:

Magic ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Magic ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･fuckinggg Magic chaos sneezes bitches!! Break shit! Stop time! Shit flying around space! Opportunities are endless, really.

And Mr. 'Pardon Me' and 'My Deepest Apologies' definitely has a handkerchief thanks and it's not gross because he can clean it with said ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･MAGIC⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ so.

Our Dapper Asshole stifles because sneezing is weak and how !dare! a sneeze think about making him look weak--and if he has to he will discard it as quickly as possible.

So, as with Nat above, there's the trauma of being seen as weak from younger years in Asgard. I really wish we'd had a Loki prequel or something in the Marvel movies (there's still time Marvel!! *cough!!*) But in the official Loki novels, you can see it.

I would go into detail about this but when I tried to explain it I LITERALLY TYPED FIVE PARAGRAPHS MORE OF SHIT yall 🫣If you ever think I'm making up backstory for Thor or Loki, nahhh I farm my info organically, grass fed. Just trust me. He has major Misfit Syndrome (and as a fellow Misfit Child with a Golden sibling, I think I get their dialogue down better than most of my other writing tbh)

Ok, ahem, back to snz (sorry...) And of course when Loki gets sick his sneezes become less restrained and UnForTunaTelY he just can't stifle woe is him poor baby 👿

Maria:

Soft but firm snz.

I had a paintball partner once whose nose got itchy when he got stressed. I hc that for Maria. She's in a situation where she needs her gun out, and it never fails--her nose flares up.

Scrunching it, she dips into a grated, sometimes growled, half-stifle. Something quick. Eyes closed for the least amount of time possible. Efficiency is important.

Clint:

I know him the least unfortunately. He's not a fave (don't judge me 😭) I'm still wrecked that he was chosen over Nat, my darling momma who WAS RUNNING EVERYTHING AND NO WONDER EVERYTHING IS ABSOLUTE CHAOS RIGHT NOW WHAT DID I JUST SAY EARLIER (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

*straightens bowtie* Aaaanyway. I think Clint would get sick and hole up. Avoid people like a recluse. He'd have a messy sneeze and a tissue pile and just STOP cleaning up after himself.

"I'll get to that later. Fuck it." And when he feels better, finally, there are just takeout boxes, microwave dinners, and tissues piled up in a raccoon trash nest around the couch and he's like "...I deserve this."

[lostonehero]

Corpse Micheal YouTube or whatever

Micheal hums and looks through the chat as he streams on a sunny Friday. It's his first back to normal stream after he got new legs, and he is trying his best to relax. Maybe he could pull questions for his father to distract himself.

A frequent question popped up on a larger screen Henry set up so him and William had an easier time responding to comments from people who donate. "What did you look like when you were alive?"

William hums. "When I was alive? Oh, I was smaller than this. The spring lock suit is built for me but is also larger and full of metal, obviously. I'm originally 6ft3in. I heard Micheal got taller than I was, which I am proud of. I had brown hair Micheal got from me and green eyes. Henry always considered me too skinny, but I was fine, I guess."

Henry pulls a picture off his phone of both of them on the opening day of the diner. "Here's a picture we're in our 20s in this photo. If you look closely, you can see baby Micheal and baby Charlie asleep in the corner. William cut his hair short for the opening to look more professional. You can see I used to have dark blonde hair before it turned gray."

William pauses, watching the screen zoom by with the same message over and over. "Henry, what does d i l f mean?"

"Jeremy I swear to fuck if you answer I am going to shove my hand so far up you-" Micheal's threat is cut off as his uncle hums.

"Oh, it's a variation on Gilf, Micheal explained to me what that meant, so I did some research on my own, and it seems to be a new subclass of acronyms, uh like how we would make comments in college about the professors, but in regards to father figures." Henry walks back over to William's side and puts his phone back in his pocket.

William pauses, then makes a soft aha noise. "I wasn't a good-looking guy, though. I mean, maybe it would be the height going for me."

"Don't count yourself out, Mr. Afton, Micheal was very, very nice looking when he was alive, and he was your spitting image, except he had blue eyes and freckles." Jeremy chuckles as Micheal covers his face. "Oh, don't be embarrassed. You were hot, and now you're hot in some weird necrophicalic wet dream."

"That's would be you." Micheal sighs.

"Guilty." Jeremy giggles. "Anyway, to be fair, I've met Micheal's mother more than his father. Your mother was fucking creepy."

"Yeah, I'm not going to argue on that one because you're right." Micheal taps his fingers on his mechanical thighs. "Uh, sorry you guys were arranged, Father."

"Wait, who told you?" William's head turns fast to stare at his son, causing the sound of rusted metal grinding on each other.

Micheal blinks. "I found out going through old papers in the old house before I died, but after mother died, and you went missing well died. It's a shitty contract, and you were basically sold like a toy. That's like super fucked up."

The chat is going wild with plot twists and dilfs sprinkled through

"Hey, I kept my end of the deal. I never told him, but I was right. One of your kids would figure it out." Henry taps his cane against the grass. "But that's the past, and we both know we can't change that and only move forward."

William shakes the ground as he falls to sit on the ground. "Well, I'm sorry. The last memories I have of my son were when he was a teenager. No offense, you've grown into a good man, but I don't really recognize you as this undead creature."

Micheal holds up his hand. "Eh, don't apologize. I don't recognize myself anymore when I look at old photos. I've been like this too long. I do miss having actual eyes, though. It would help convey emotions more."

"You just miss rolling your eyes." Jeremy smiles.

"Maybe." Micheal chuckles softly. "Anyway, you two continue the stream is supposed to be about you two because of the demand."

"I still don't understand the appeal. I'm a skeleton in a suit, and Henry should be relaxing, which I know this is the closest he'll ever get." William shrugs.

Henry huffs. "I've gotten better than when we were younger."

"Henry, you haven't even sat down yet." If William could he would be making a I told you so face.

"Oh, Hush, you." Henry sighs.

.....

The streamed dragged on, and Micheal was planning on ending it soon since they shouldn't be broadcasting everything. He stops when his uncle speaks up.

"One night stand?" Henry pauses musing for a moment. "Oh, right, I forgot I told you guys about that."

Micheal quickly runs into the frame. "How about we not talk about that."

Henry chuckles. "We're all adults here, Micheal, and besides, I'm sure your father can add more details he always recovered better after a night of drinks than I did."

"That's because I actually drank water with the alcohol." William hums. "Are you referring to college or the time after we finally made profit for the first time at the diner?"

"Oh, I forgot about that time. Oh, I should apologize to Margaret." Henry scratches at his beard as the chat goes crazy.

"You know she cheated on you for a long time." William crosses his arms.

"I mean, I know that now, but still. Anyway, a lot of drinks were shared, and we had this old beat-up mattress in our old workshop." Henry stops when Micheal makes a groaning noise. "Oh, come now, don't be embarrassed. We're all adults here."

"To be fair, Micheal was a bit sheltered after everything." William hums. "I did go to an all boys school, so I mean it wasn't unheard of where I was. College was the first time I actually had classes with women."

Micheal huffs as Jeremy giggles.

"So, was the sleeping together a normal occurrence?" Jeremy smirks.

William shakes his head, making soft metal grinding noises. "As much as I would have performed to be in a relationship with Henry, the times were different, and we both had kids of our own. I wasn't stupid enough to risk losing our business over feelings besides after the second time Micheal learned how to crawl and well I had to take him everywhere with me unless I wanted to risk Clara doing anything. Besides, Henry also used that as an excuse to bring Charlie to work all the time. To be fair, you both kept each other busy, but then Micheal would find a way to climb out or undo the locks, and Charlie would follow."

Henry starts to laugh. "My, you had Micheal on a leash so he wouldn't accidently hurt himself. I mean, to be fair, you were a very quiet child and easily escaped whatever we tried to keep you in. Up until you were two, William would carry you on his back after the times you escaped. You adored it and would make Charlie jealous, but she hated being held for long periods, unlike you, so as a compromise, she would play with the mascot heads." He smiles. "You were such a trouble maker."

Micheal looks away and crosses his arms. "I know I was a bad kid. You don't have to remind me."

William gets up and places his hand on Micheal. The heavy weight seemed to relax Micheal only slightly. "You weren't bad Micheal you didn't talk till you were 6, so it was very hard keeping track of you since you were so quiet. You started to speak after you spended time with your sister, which made your mother furious because Lizzie's first word was Mikey."

"They were?" Micheal held a look of surprise on his rotted features.

Jeremy smiles as he gets an idea. "Do you blame Micheal for what happened to Evan?"

Micheal gasps. "Jeremy what the actual fuck!"

William tilts his head. "Why would I blame Micheal for that he was a kid. We all did bad things as kids, and Micheal just wanted attention. I know I wasn't there for him, I was stuck trying to figure out what went wrong with Baby and then the guilt about Charlie was eating me up inside and your mother was making things worse so again I'm sorry for ignoring you when you needed me. However, your mother did cause the rift between you two. She didn't want the same mistake that happened with Lizzie in her words she didn't want you getting close to him. I blame her more than you honestly, but that's not something I'm currently willing to discuss with you. Honestly, I regret not being there for you."

Micheal gives a strangled sob from his rotten lips. He is unable to cry but he was getting overwhelmed with the information.

"Hey Mike, it's alright." Jeremy hefts Micheal over his shoulder. "I think he needs a break. You keep chatting in the live." He waves and carries Micheal inside.

William sits back down. "Did I say something wrong?"

Henry shook his head. "No, Micheal just thought you blamed him and hated him."

"I never blamed him." William gave a death rattle of a sigh. "I'm not ready to tell him the full story yet, and you haven't told me what you two fully discussed, so it's hard. I just wish he didn't hate himself. I also thought he would be amused hearing about us. I always thought he knew. You know Charlie did, and she told we we were terrible at hiding it."

"Now you're making things up." Henry raised his brow crossing his arms.

"You can ask her yourself. Children notice more than we give them credit for. Charlie told me a lot like the machines you've hidden under the shed." William chuckles at the surprise expression on Henry's face. "Don't look so shocked she grew up even if she doesn't sound it."

"And why did she tell you and not me?" Henry frowns.

"Because she hates seeing you upset." William hums softly. "It's the same how you are with her. Neither of you two likes to discuss anything serious, afraid to upset each other. She is your daughter."

Henry sighs. "I want to talk to her, but I always worried she wouldn't understand."

"She will." William gets up. "No, go inside and check on Micheal. I'll keep these viewers busy and answer questions."

"You're only asking because you can't fit inside my home doors." Henry smiles softly, making his way inside.

......

"Did you hurt Micheal?"

William growled at the comment, and his voice box glitched for a moment with his heightened emotion. "How dare you accuse me of something so monstrous. I am nothing like my father, and I doted on Micheal. He always got so annoyed as he got older, and he said I embarrassed him. On a rare day after Elizabeth passed, we reconnected for a brief moment." He sighs as uncomfortable as that noise is. "I miss that, and of course, now I can't do anything I want to do with him. I still can't comprehend how much time has passed since I got stuck, and I regret not reaching out. I abandoned him, and I abandoned him when he needed me the most. I don't know how he is now we've only spoken truly a handful of times recently but he seems to avoid any sort of topic that involves the past or even when I bring up happy memories it's as if he can't recall them." He shakes his head. "That's enough of that."

The chat seems to go somewhat wild. Some comments about traumas and ptsd. Then, another bold one popped up with a donation. "Will you ever be romantically involved with Henry?"

William pauses, scratching his chin. "I don't see how that is possible with everything. Again, you guys, I'm literally just bones in an animontric spring lock suit. I mean, Micheal seems to make it work with Jeremy. I don't think Henry ever felt the same about me. It's wishful thinking to think that man could ever love someone like me. He's always been a good man, a kind man, someone I could never get on the same level. He has always been so much better than I have been, so much better with machines, with kids, and with family. I've always been different, odd. I guess probably why I was arranged into marriage." He shrugs.

"What was Clara like?"

"I'm not answering that." William's voice was stern.

The chat started to pick up again. Another donation, another question. "Who topped?"

"Topped? I don't know what that is referring to. If it is a sexual question, I prefer not to. However, I don't have any ability to do anything of that nature in my current state. I know Henry has already started working on my new body. He has finished Micheal's, but he is waiting for his birthday to gift it. I honestly don't know if he'll accept it. I will happily take a new body. I just want the pain to stop."

"You're still in pain?" A few donations had this question.

"Yeah, I am." William looks away. "I mean, it's as if it's the day the failure happened. The pain has never stopped, and I don't understand why. I've spoken to Charlie about it, and she doesn't know. She says it might be fixed if I'm in something different. It's dulled when Henry takes my skull so I can speak to Charlie, but it never goes away. I don't know why we thought this death trap was a good idea."

"You're still answering questions?" Jeremy comes into view of the camera.

"Is everything alright?" William turns his attention to the blonde man.

"Yeah, Micheal's alright for what it is. He needs serious therapy, but again, it's incredibly hard to get him to do anything like that." Jeremy frowns. "Gareth is talking to him right now. Anyway, goodbye." He shuts the camera off along with the stream.

[gildedmuse]

Hey, everyone.

So recently I've (predictably) very not well. Actually, whenever I don't post for long periods, just assume my body is trying to kill me. But I've gotten messages from three people asking if I. Okay, which is super sweet. I am actually trying to work on the next All Hearts, a really long ZoLaw post and two request fics, but mixing chronic kidney pain and capitalist society's mandate to work 40+ hours is not recommended.

But to prove I'm okay and still me, here is some Shanks antics with him being a total slut while Mihawk and Beckman just roll their eyes and go along with it. [Shout out to @jhaernyl who not only listens to me ramble about this stuff, but actively encourages it]. I also have many thoughts on the latest episodes and so many screenshots it's embarrassing. Hopefully, when I'm in less pain, I'll get around to actually posting those. Otherwise I just look like an insane person who literally takes by the second frame shots every time Zoro is on screen.

.... What is that? I look like that anyway? Fair.

Shanks Is A Bad Influence

It feels like Buggy and Shanks split up after Roger's death (the crew was told to, and they are the only ones who went to his execution) and I find it impossible to think Shanks didn't immediately set out and find a crew; like, pirating is the only thing this kid knows in life. This means two things:

He set out from East Blue. Also, he seemed at ease and familiar with the East so it's possible he spent like a year there getting everything together. Maybe he even played around in the other blues for a while before heading back to the Grand Line. I say this because his crew is from all over so either he found and recruited them in the Grand Line or visited various blues. Either way, I'm gonna say it took him about two years before getting a 'proper' start. In that case, he would have started out properly at the age of 17 and we know One Piece likes it's parallels.

That still puts Shanks at 17 to Benn Beckmen's 28. How the fuck did Shanks manage that? I'd call it grave robbing, but let's face it, the little tyke probably got up to some actual robbing of graves as well.

My point being everytime Shanks teases Mihawk about keeping this 19 year old kid on his personal island, mostly shirtless, Benn Beckmen just lifts an eyebrow.

Excuse me, captain, who had prefected the 'opps still don't have my sea legs' trip-and-fall into their first mates lap by the age of 17?

Shanks: Beckmen, you caught me! *Shamelessly nuzzles up* Thank goodness! I could be a devil's fruit user after all and - Ahh!

Benn: *Drops Shanks straight over the side of the ship into the water*

Shanks: *Sputtering* What what that!?

Benn: Checking to see if you had eaten a devil's fruit on us, Capatin.

Benn: You didn't.

Smart ass. But he can't resist Shanks forever. Shanks will wear him down eventually.

Next time Mihawk tracks him down for another match - because you know he gets bored way quicker than he'll ever admit and Shanks is at least amusing a challenge - Shanks makes a big deal out of how Mihawk follows him around, "accidentally" revealing they slept together, sighing about how it's so hard to resist him.

Benn Beckmen is just leaning against the side of the ship, sipping his booze.

Shanks: -and I can't stay for hours like last time!!

Mihawk: Are you quite done?

Shanks: *whispering* Does Benn look jealous?

Mihawk: He looks bored. Much like I am. Is this some strange attempt to get out of my challenge, Akagami?

Shanks: What? No, come on I told you I was game. But, hey, could you do me a favor? Maybe like try and kiss me or something? Like take a swing like your going to hit me but then stop shot and grab me by the waist instead.

Mihawk: .... Trickery is beneath you. Besides, you're absolute rubbish at it.

Shanks: Oh, come on, I would totally help you get laid if you asked!

Mihawk: .... *Sigh* I want a proper match afterwards.

Mihawk: *In a forced, monotone voice* After this I will take you to my lair and have my way with you, Akagami.

Mihawk: ... My lair? Really?

Shanks: *Holding up cue card with quickly scribbled line* What? That is how you talk.

Mihawk: I can't believe I wasted precious hours of light tracking you to this atrociously rural port.

Shanks: See? Now, read the next one.

Benn: Captain? If this is going to take all night, I am going to go join the rest of the men in the tavern.

Shanks: Huh? Wait! Benn! What if Miha really stabs me this time!?

Benn: *Salutes Shanks with his bottle* Sounds like that is his plan captain. Have a good 'challenge'.

Shanks: What? No... *Reaching out hand, like he might die if Benn leaves, looking completely devastated* Not even a little jealous...

Mihawk: You couldn't have thought that pantomime would actually work.

Shanks: Benny, don't leave me.... *Turns to Mihawk, immediately brightening* Oh, well, there's always tomorrow. Hey, Miha, guess whose free all night and horny as a pirate in the calm belt?

Mihawk: .... *Sigh* Very well.

Mihawk might as well get something for the trip he made. Although, he's reconsidering if the sex was actually worth the trouble after he ends up listening to Shanks worry half the night that Benn is shacking up with someone else (after a couple hours of rough and raw fucking, admittedly).

Is it the hat? He likes his captain's hat. Miha, you think his captain's hat is sexy, don't you?

Mihawk: It's utterly ridiculous.

Shanks: ....

Shanks: ....

Shanks: *Smile* Ahh, Miha, I knew you liked the hat!

Shanks: What do you old Northerns find sexy?

Mihawk: I am only four years older than you.

Mihawk: And silence.

Trying to convince Mihawk to go spy on Beckman for him. Shanks doesn't actually care if he does sleep with someone else, it's more that Beckman didn't immediately turn angry and jealous like Buggy would have that has him paranoid.

Mihawk is going to fuck this annoying red head again just to shut him up.

Mihawk: Maybe he doesn't like red haired boys who don't know when to be quiet?

The next morning Shanks is pacing among his poor crew that's gotten stuck listening to Shanks obsess about Beckman again. IS IT REALLY THE HAIR!?

It's not even a matter of Shanks's age (or obvious immaturity). I mean, Beckman got on board and stayed, didn't he? Beckman just enjoys watching Shanks try so hard to get his attention. Like Benn's attention isn't constantly on Shanks. He had to when his captain is always one step away from disaster.

He only left him with Mihawk because it was clear Dracule is not a real danger to Beckman's captain.

Except maybe insulting him to death. But Beckman is pretty sure Shanks can handle it. He's met Buggy. He's suspects Shanks LIKES it if anything.

It gets to the point where when they dock somewhere and see Mihawk waiting, or come back to the ship and spot his familiar silhouette, most of the crew goes off somewhere for another drink (sometimes the newer kids will stay to watch such an awesome fight, everyone else is like... Look, you'll have plenty of opportunities later. This is not a one off.)

Benn just takes a look around, nods to Mihawk (a silent signal for, "he's all yours, do with him as you please, if anything happens to him I will track you down and make sure your last few hours on this blue world are as painful as humanly possible") and heads off.

Oh, it's just the Hawk boy.

That's fine then.

Benn use to be a sailor on a trade ship between the North, East, West and Grand Line. He's seen it all.

They called him The Gun Slinger BEFORE he joined Shanks's crew and became a pirate.

So this young, broke ass kid from the streets of some near artic northern island trying to pass himself off as a Lower North rich type has a thing for his captain? Not really enough to keep Beckman up at night, no matter how good at swords he's supposed to be

Besides, he's pretty sure for the kid to keep tracking down Shanks, he must be bored out of his skull. He's not going to do anything to endanger their captain.

Not if Shanks is the only thing he can find to keep him entertained.

One day, Mihawk is going to be waiting on the dock when a bunch of Red Haired pirates are stumbling home, laughing and chattering amongst themselves (Shanks's crew always seems to be in a good mood). One of them will catch sight if Mihawk and walk by with a smile, patting him on the shoulder.

The captain's occupied. Seems likely he'll be 'occupied' for a good while, too.

Mihawk won't smile, but he will think "So you finally warmed him up to you, Akagami?" and snort lightly.

Poor Benn, though. Mihawk could never imagine being with someone so much younger than him. Shanks is only four years his junior and already it strains Mihawk to put up with his occasional moments of "youthful whimsy" (aka being an annoying, immature child)

"A young, cocky pirate with strangely colored bright hair"

Mihawk just putting that on his Not To Do List.

That lasted until Roronoa.

(Mihawk just looking at Zoro knowing this is bad news.)

Mihawk: *Takes list from Benn*

*Cross out, scribbles*

*Hands back to Benn*

Do Not Do:

- A young, cocky pirate with strangely colored bright hair a silly hat, who is overly dramatic and in any way, shape or form related to Gol D Rogers.

Ace: Hey what's up?

Mihawk: *Takes list from Benn*

Go ahead, Benn, laugh it up. Mihawk is aware he has a type. Young, pretty, and utterly insane.

After that night where Shanks was otherwise 'occupied', it's over six months before Mihawk sees his friend his rival again. He is, as expected, far too smug and proud looking.

Shanks: Oh, Miha, so sorry you came all this way, I'm-

Benn: Well, I'm off, captain.

Shanks: What!? But we, you, I... Benn, hessoeexyarentyouworriedforyourcaptain?

Benn: *patting Mihawk on the shoulder* Have fun with him. Don't forget to return him by noon tomorrow, we have a schedule. Oh, but if you can babysit him for at least four hours? That would be great.

Shanks: BABYSIT!?

Mihawk: I suppose I can be troubled to do so.

Shanks: TROUBLED!?

Benn: Thanks, Hawkeyes. I owe you.

Shanks: *Fake tears clinging to his lashes* You two are so mean!

No, don't feel bad for him. Shanks is just trying to guilt the two of them into bed at the same time, and they both know it.

Thanks no thanks, they're not into that. But Shanks can be pretty cute when he's trying so hard (Benn) and at least he's not as boring as everything else in this world (Mihawk) so they allow him to keep up the act

Shanks: *looking at Zoro's wanted poster over Mihawk's shoulder* But I feel like you'd gladly go to bed with him and his captain if he asked. That doesn't seem fair to me. You'd never go that far with me and Benn.

Mihawk: *Eyes Benn*

Mihawk: *DEAD. ONLY.*

Mihawk: I have my reasons.

They can and do agree on plenty of things, including reciprocally not being that attracted to each other.

Shanks: Sounds fake to me

Shanks: But guys!

Shanks: This isn't about you

He's gonna need you guys to drop the egos and focus on what HE wants. I.E., being in the middle of two sexy Northern men.

Honestly, so mean to poor Shanks!

[dumblydork]

Wasn't expecting to be back as a writer so soon but I just absolutely CANNOT get enough of writing headcanons and AUs and JUST BEAR WITH ME OKAY

Also I feel like this is super long but it might not be idk

Some more Hinny, with a bit of Romione! So this one is set in the modern magical world. Hope you enjoy! And don't forget, if you have absolutely ANY Hinny headcanons you'd want to see written, please drop me a message or an ask anytime and I'll do my best to write one 3>

~~

"This class just CANNOT get any worse." Ron muttered, drawing lazy lines with his pen on the History of Magic textbook they were reading.

"We literally live in 2020, do we really HAVE to study all this old age crap?" He continued, now shifting to drawing circles as the teacher droned on.

Harry for one, wasn't listening to the professor (though he did vaguely hear him mention 'Goblin War' but that was about it) and neither to Ron. Harry was busy staring out of the window onto the busy streets of London below their high classroom, thinking about a certain redhead.

A certain redhead who also happened his best friend's sister.

"Hi!" Hermione's voice came in an excited whisper as she started taking out her textbook, the dull grey of it made slightly happy with all the colourful muggle stickers (once affronted, she had told Harry that they were called 'Post Its' but Harry just could never bother with the name), full of notes and extra bits. Hermione was careful not to let the professor know that she was suddenly here, a thought which hit Harry when Ron exclaimed almost loudly before Hermione kicked his foot under the table to shut him up.

"I swear to Godric you weren't here literally a minute ago how- Harry?" Ron wondered, calling his best friend.

"Yes it's very odd Ron." Harry almost sighed, back to his brooding. Hermione was doing weird things always- it was nothing new.

"Please be like Harry and stop looking so surprised. Let me focus." Hermione sneered at Ron and whipped out her pencil, furiously noting down from the board whatever the professor had been droning on about for the past 45 minutes.

"And that, is all on the Goblin War of 1785 today. Make sure you finish your homework- remember, 4 pages on the magical strategies used by the two goblin sides to win the war. I need it handed in on Monday. Class dismissed." The professor walked out with his nose in the air, as if he had imparted the knowledge of a lifetime in one single lesson. He waved a lazy hand at the board which wiped off all the notes, releasing a few cries from the back where some kids were still making notes.

"Thank Godric that's over!" Ron could almost cry. Harry was back to paying attention, especially after Hermione slapped his hand. "Earth calling whatever planet Harry Potter is on!" She laughed. The three of them got up and walked out into the corridor.

"What lesson do we have next?" Harry asked absentmindedly.

"What's up with you today? You've been like this since we returned from the Burrow well over a week ago." Ron said thoughtfully, an arm slung carelessly around Hermione's shoulder, who was surprisingly okay with it.

Harry snapped back to reality. If Ron found out, it would be Harry's head and nothing else.

"And what about the two of you? Care to explain," Harry looked at the Ron's arm, "whatever this is? You two have been just finding ways for touching each other, don't think I haven't noticed." Harry finished with a whistle, knowing this was the nerve he had hit. He almost grinned to himself.

"That," Hermione shrug off the arm around her, blushing furiously, "is just two friends being friendly." She finished, but there was a considerable change in the pitch of her voice.

"Yes yes whatever." Harry flicked a lazy hand at the two, knowing fully well they had gotten up to something in the Burrow which was only between the two of them.

The trio had reached the cafeteria where they sat down on one of the empty benches, having half hour free before moving on to Harry's most despised class- Chemistry, or Potions as it was called in the older ages.

Harry let his thoughts move back to the Burrow (courtesy this couple who were now sitting with their sides practically touching). The Burrow was Ron's house, and the trio's favourite hangout. They were there for the summer break, which had ended a week ago, but the memories were still as old as yesterday.

"Oh please, I will kick your ass at Quidditch." Ginny, Ron's younger sister and the youngest Weasley piped, her fiery red hair pulled back into a ponytail.

Quidditch was the one thing Harry really enjoyed- it was rare to have Quidditch matches in school now with so much course load, so these summers were what he lived for.

Particularly this one summer where Ginny had turned up looking just gorgeous, something Harry had failed to notice in the 6 years he had known her. It wasn't as if she wasn't gorgeous before- it just struck him differently this time. Maybe it was the heat. Maybe it was the fact that she could make Harry laugh almost always. She was not only gorgeous- Ginny had developed a sense of humour and sarcasm quite unlike her brothers- they were fond of practical jokes, whereas Ginny was more of the sharp tongued type who could make an entire room laugh without as much as waving a hand. And it was absolutely fabulous. Harry had found himself staring at her practically everyday of summer since he came to the Burrow three months ago.

The way she tied her hair up, or how she bit her lip when exasperated with her Math homework and the way her lips opened slowly first when she laughed. The slight, barely perceptible crook in her teeth and the generous sprinkling of freckles all across her face. It was all suddenly very endearing to Harry.

And hence, midway through his last week at the Burrow, Harry had come to the conclusion that he had started fancying Ginevra Weasley, his best friend Ronald Weasley's younger sister. Not to mention practically Hermione's best friend, despite being an year younger.

So that was why Harry was barely able to keep his impulses in check when he saw Ginny in her Quidditch outfit, wearing a red and gold jersey with cream coloured bottoms. But when he thought of how he could have his ears boxed in by Ron, he could very much focus back on the match and not on a heart-achingly stunning redhead.

"Language, Ginny. This girl," Ron's mom, Molly, muttered under her breath, currently putting up laundry by swishing her wand back and forth. All of the Weasley siblings were back home at the Burrow, except for Percy and Bill, who were both busy working.

"Sorry mom! As I was saying Harry, I will definitely kick your bottom in this match." Ginny corrected herself.

"Please, we shall see." Lately it was getting increasingly difficult for him to produce coherent responses in front of the woman he had come to consider as practically a sarcastic goddess. But he was proud of this response- he should continue thinking about Ron's punches.

"Okay, positions, and go!" Harry heard Arthur, Ron's father say and the match began in earnest. Hermione was sitting this one down with a novel, but at the moment was preparing a jug of lemonade the Muggle way.

Ron and Harry were one team, whereas Ginny, George and Fred were another. The game lasted for a good 40 minutes before Harry and Ron won the game by obtaining the 'snitch' (which was actually just an enchanted flying ball, kindly given to them by Arthur who had an obsession for all things Muggle).

"What happened to all that talk of kicking ass, huh?" Harry laughed, almost falling into one of the reclining chairs. Molly was handing out cool glasses of lemonade. "I think mine needs more ice." Harry said, sipping from his glass.

"Oh I totally forgot the ice! My wand is in the kitchen though." She said sheepishly, not wanting to give up her spot on the recliner. Or rather not wanting to get up from her spot next to Ron, who had decided to perch himself on Hermione's recliner despite there being an extra empty one.

"That's okay, I'll get some myself." He grinned. "I'll come too- I need to change out of this." Ginny added. They walked back inside the Burrow which was empty, with the entire family outside in the garden.

Harry waved his wand which was lying on the kitchen counter into a bowl and ice appeared, shining in the sunlight but not melting. Magic.

He added a few to his glass and leaned on the counter, sipping lazily on the drink. It was good to be away from the noise for a minute. Ginny reappeared downstairs, having changed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and unholy thoughts came rushing back into Harry's brain.

"I'll get some ice too, now that I'm here." Ginny took out an empty glass and filled it with ice, presumably wanting to fill it with lemonade later. But the way she took the ice gave Harry goosebumps- she leant across him instead of asking him to move and picked a few pieces of ice from behind him. Harry was frozen in his place- Ginny made no move whatsoever to stand behind. She stood inches away from Harry, just a few centimetres shorter than him.

"Oh for goodness sakes Harry, kiss me already." She rolled her eyes but the tip of her ears went red.

"What?" Harry spluttered- it was something he had been wanting to do since the start of summer but putting it into words stunned him of sorts. Was he THAT readable?

"Don't think I haven't seen the way you've looked at me all summer, Harry. It's not that difficult to know that you fancy me. A lot. And just so you know, I do too. A lot. Have done so since Ron introduced us.* She whispered, but stepped back after her confession.

Harry was still stunned, but could anyway notice the distance she had put, now slightly unsure after her brazenness. She still stared at him, her lips shaped into an imperceptible 'O', begging to be kissed. So that's what Harry did- he pulled Ginny back towards him by her waist and placed his lips on hers, almost tasting sunlight but with cherry swirled in it. His hands remained at her waist but Ginny moved hers to lock around Harry's neck, slowly playing with the curls at his nape. She smiled into the kiss, parting her lips were slightly, just so Harry could taste her; it was sinful but decadent. Very much like a good bar of chocolate. More than good. An absolutely unbelievable bar of chocolate.

When they finally pulled back after what could have been a lifetime, or an eternity, or a few seconds, Ginny grinned at Harry. "Do you not have anything to say?" She stood there's suddenly a bit shy, with her arms still around Harry's neck.

"You said all of it for me. I do fancy you- maybe way too much." He said, feeling as if Ginny's brazen confidence was transferred into his veins.

"That's a relief, because I might or might not have been looking to get you to kiss me." She said, her eyes twinkling mischievously.

"You what?" Harry stared at her incredulously, before breaking out into a wide smile.

"Don't worry, the bit about me fancying you is real. Have done so since I was 10." She added seriously.

"So are we a thing now?" Harry raised an eyebrow, quite enjoying the small circles he was making on Ginny's side.

"Keep dreaming on, Potter." She removed her hands from around his neck and disappeared like she had reappeared after changing, what felt like ages ago. Harry smiled to himself before walking outside again, his lemonade glass forgotten.

---

"Really Harry, one would think you're in love the way you're zoned out." Ron stared at him, as Harry snapped back into the real world.

"Huh? Oh yeah." He agreed absent mindedly, still reeling a bit from that summer afternoon.

"You're in love?" Hermione asked, an eyebrow raised as she looked up from what looked like homework.

"Forget me, but you do seem to be." Harry glanced at her notebook, which had R+H scribbled messily on the margins. He grinned as Hermione and Ron blushed furiously.

"Okay fine, me and Ron might have kissed at the Burrow." Hermione said, snapping her book shut as Ron stared at her longingly.

"How interesting, because me and Harry did something similar." Ginny suddenly appeared from behind and sat beside Harry, pressing her lips to his cheek.

The two boys stared back and forth. Ron's eyes widened but returned to their normal size, as Ron slung an arm around Hermione again, except this time she actually leaned into him.

"What? Is happening?" Harry looked around, first at the couple in front of him and then at Ginny. This was all extremely confusing.

"Did you think you were the only observant human to ever exist? Hermione Granger is my girlfriend, Harry. Nothing escapes her. Not when one of her best friends kisses another one of her best friends." Ron laughed.

"Wait so you're not mad?" Harry was still shaken. Was his worrying all a waste? If he'd known, he could have spent more time with Ginny, locked behind doors, his lips on hers-

"Why would I be? I'd rather Ginny end up with you rather than some other git from school." Ron's voice cut into his thoughts breezily.

"Oh. Okay." Harry settled before smiling at Ginny and weaving his hand through hers.

They sat in silence for a few moments before Harry's eyes widened.

"Wait. Hermione Granger is your girlfriend?!" The typical Potter late realisation. The three people around him laughed heartily before Harry joined in, shooting Ginny an endearing look, making the tips of her ears turn red.

[dannyphantom-rewrite]

Character ref for; Jack, Maddie and Jazz,

Art by @gally-hin / @gally-hin-phantom

Okay so first off; in terms of Actual redesign, I didn't change a whole lot. I'm actually very fond of Jack and Maddie's design's, my only real issue was with their proportions. Like...look as a lady person who is also thiCC I do not have a fucking wasp thin waist and I'm sure I'm not the only one, lmao. As for Jack? Godamnit he looked like a brick on toothpicks. Just Let him be a fucking Bara man! Anyway of course I asked Gally to do this one bc they're fucking great at drawing different body types

I also cannot and will not take credit for Jazz's outfit. I didn't have any issue with her canon clothes aside from them being a bit plain, so what she's wearing here was literally pulled straight off of her original concept art, which I will link here.

Anyway, getting to the Actual character lore now, let's start with

Maddie Fenton

-Full name is Madeline (I haven't decided on a maiden name yet)

-Born and raised on a farm in Arkansas, had a southern accent that she trained herself out of in college bc it was just one more reason for people not to take her seriously. Still sometimes uses "y'all" completely unironically bc old habits die hard.

-She has a really big family, and they're proud of her accomplishments but feel like she's wasting her talent studying ghosts, because really, up until the Fenton portal was up and running there wasn't even any solid proof they existed. Her sister Alicia is the one outlier there, and even if she doesn't understand, it she completely supports her.

-She majored in engineering and minored in psychology at Wisconsin EDU. Her, Jack and Vlad were all in the same engineering class, and that's where they met.

-Maddie is particularly interested in how ghosts think, analysing their behavior, their motives. Not only that, but they aren't just dead people with unfinished business, they've built an entire culture in the Ghost Zone that is completely seperate from humanity, and she wants to understand all of it.

-skilled marksman and 9th degree black belt, (which is. The highest fucking level there is holy shit? I looked it up after I saw it on her wiki page.)

Jack Fenton

-He's from Minnesota (Amity park is in Illinois and him and Maddie didn't move there until after they got married) 

-okay, "but why minnesota specifically" you ask? Because. I crave. Foot ball discourse. 

-minnesota vikings vs green bay packers guys do you UNDERSTAND WHERE IM GOING WITH THIS 

-The funny thing is that Jack only watches football casually while Vlad is a fucking die hard so when these two got together to see a game it was like....

-Jack: Here to chill and have a good time.

-Vlad: Primed and ready to start a fist fight at any given moment.

-I am never not going to be salty about how Canon Jack was portrayed like a complete moron 99% percent of the time. Like no...theres a difference between Actual Stupid and ADHD induced dumbass-ery.

-Am I saying Jack Fenton has ADHD? Yes. why? Because I also have ADHD and I have always vibed So Hard with his Character.

-Jack is loud and easily excited about things that interest him. He's impulsive and fidgety and yeah, a bit absent minded. He has a mouth that clearly runs so much faster than his head. His train of thought doesn't get derailed so much as it stops and takes several different detours on the way to it's final destination.

-and that's only the tip of the iceberg, really, I'd need an entire essay to get into this completely, but I just really relate.

-Jacks skill-set / interests regarding ghosts vary a bit from Maddie's, most notably in the sense that he doesn't believe that they're static entities already set in their ways, completely incapable of change.

-Jack majored in engineering and minored in Biology at Wisconsin EDU.

-Jack's work with tech is a bit hit or miss. He definitely HAS the engineering skills, but the intrest isn't always there and he's constantly jumping back and forth between different projects. He tends to focus on the concept work and schematics and leave most of the assembly to Maddie as a result. It's an arrangement that works well for them, and has drastically decreased the number of unintentional explosions in the lab.

-A lot of Jack's work tends to revolve around ghostly biology and Ectoplasm, figuring out how ghosts are made, what makes them tick, what the hell Ectoplasm Actually Is, how it's used as an energy source, ect.

-and yes, that does also mean he handles the dissections.

-See that facial scar? Yeah, that's not actually there at the start of the series rewrite but it's very important for plot reasons so I had to include it. Can't say much more on the subject because SPOILERs owo.

Jasmine Fenton

-Jazz is a 18 years old, and a senior at Casper high.

-Which means she prepping to go away to college and won't be around to keep an eye on Danny.

-Obviously that doesn't mean I'm just writing her out of the story, oh no. Know why? Because she's also gonna go to Wisconsin EDU. ya know who else is in Wisconsin? Fuckin' Vlad.

-Jazz is autistic, Although she passes for neurotypical in part due to symptoms being completely over looked in girls due to gender stereotyping and also the fact that she doesn't have any special interests that are considered " "too weird.""

- Her hyperfixation with psychology started at a young age in an effort to better understand people, and social/emotional cues and all that.

-Jazz is well liked at school but she's not popular or apart of any specific group or clique. She's very kind and compassionate to people, and just about everyone knows her, but you'd be hard pressed to find someone who actually Considered her a friend. Except maybe Spike.

-I'm gonna have to give spike his own Character ref at some point, but he's this scary looking goth kid that's been held back twice. He's actually super sweet, just really fuckin' quiet and anxious. Him and jazz kinda ended up gravitating towards each other. She might do most of the talking, but they look out for each other.

-its not like jazz doesn't try to socialize, but it's difficult and she's found it much easier and less stressful to just. Keep to herself and let her interactions with her peers stay shallow and superficial. Sure, it's lonely sometimes but it's better than constantly worrying about saying the wrong thing or making some other misstep.

-One of Jazz's other special interests is football, and it's not so much the players or the game as it is the strategy of it? Started out as one of those things you do to bond with your dad, and she ended up getting really into it.

-She absolutley winds up getting into stupidly intense discussions with Vlad about it, too, lmao.

-Her and Danny probably bonded over SBNation bc that shit has both sentient satellites and ridiculously complex football mechanics.

-She's completely oblivious to the fact, but Dash has a massive crush on her bc holy shit this girl understands football (hey bud your toxic masculinity is showing put that shit away)

-I mentioned that Danny was in Cheer for a bit in middle school so it makes sense that she'd also be pushed into doing some kind of extracurricular activity.....so.....she was in a martial arts class for a bit thanks to Maddie and has a good grasp on self defense.

I think that's everything? I feel like I'm leaving things out tho? Idk if I did I'll come back and add on to this later and also pls don't hesitate to ask questions bc it really helps me flesh things out better.

[savrenim]

hi hi hi. so I just got into the Hamilton fandom, I swear I am four years late where did everybody go, and, well. I am apparently a hamburr shipper. bcs that is my life now. anyway I saw your fic ifmlam and I swear it is my favourite of all the fics I've ever read (and trust me I've read literally thousands). I love it so so much, how do you write fics like that??? I cried about four times during the whole thing, I stayed up till 4am reading it even when I had to wake up at 7 because it is just. that. good. I could not stop thinking about it for days afterwards and ifmlam has just ruined me. I can't think of listen to Hamilton without thinking of ifmlam anymore.

on to my qursttion: is it abandoned? of course it's perfectly FINE if it is. don't let anyone tell u differently, your fic is YOURS and u are amazing.

but pls I really need closure from ur fic, it has been haunting me if its abandoned or ongoing and I've read ur other fics and they are just chefskiss and thank you so much for writing them all. thank you thank you thank you, I will never be able to thank you enough for writing this fic and for everything it's done for me. I am probably thousands of miles away but I am sending you virtual jugs through a co.puter screen right now.

(don't feel pressured to reply to this or update it flam, I know how overwhelming it can get with so many messages and after a while u get desensitized to it. u can literally reply "thx. itfmlam is abandoned" and I would still be amazingly star struck. anyway has gotten way too long and I need to sleep and I'm sorry u probably won't see this so I'm just talking to myself right now but bye!!)

and thank you so so much for writing itfmlam.

aaaah hello anon!

thank you so so much???? I am so??? honored??? that ifmlam rates so highly to you, and also that you've read my other fics??????

the answer to the "is ifmlam abandoned" question is probably the worst possible one, which is pretty much "I do want to finish it, both for the folks that still want closure as well as it bothers to me have abandoned projects that are in the public eye/ already partially published, but also, it is last on my current writing projects list"

my current actually active writing projects list, kind of in order of priority, is

I'm literally three chapters away from being Actually Fully Done with the not-quite-first-not-quite-second let's call it 1.5th draft of an actual?? full?? original?? novel?? Opus which of course then goes out to beta readers and then gets who-knows-how-much edited and then maybe beta readers again if a lot does change and then a copyeditor my mom, my copyeditor is my mom, and maybe my little brother he's one of the betas but is very good at catching typos and then I!!! get to publish it!!!! which is the single thing I am most excited for!!!!!!!!! this should be closed up in the next week or two, and then take a while for people to actually read the draft and get back to me.

I really desperately want to finish my open-but-like-90%-written fic, which means we raise it up, the final chapter of to the bottom of the river bc I realized that it was kind of incomplete, and the second chapter of a buried and a burning flame because any more work there will need to wait until the author publishes the next book in the series. this should be closed up in the next month or two.

Speedwrite the draft of the second book of the Opus series so that hopefully by the time book 1 edits are happening, I have an almost complete draft of the second book. this is mostly me side-eyeing myself about taking nearly four years to write the first book, but that is solidly in part because I had so many other open projects which point 2 is about clearing that docket. this should be done in the next year.

And then just have my major projects be, at least until books 1-5 are written and published, books 1-5 of that because that is arguably the first major 'plot arc' of the series, so if I'm looking for a pause point on writing, that's probably where to stop.

There are two or three other short side projects (a weird fun second person short story tentatively titled witch-queen, a collection of four short stories Memoirs about a not-so-evil necromancer and the shenanigans he gets up to trying to rule a kingdom, working title Perfectly Normal Recipe Blog which is a collaborative project about a perfectly normal recipe blog that definitely doesn't include anything out of the normal) that will happen when they happen

There are other projects that are on the backburner -- The Numanok Files, a series of probably 12-15 short novellas about a mercenary/ bounty hunter esque person in space whose specialty is dealing with hauntings, but, like, 80% of their jobs is actually "you are effectively a space home inspector pointing out faulty wiring reacting to solar flares/ there's a weird alien fungus/ it's carbon monoxide okay change your atmosphere filters" and 20% of it is punching ghosts; there's a post-post apocalypse novel that I want to write that I know characters and general pacing and half the setting but need to work out the other half and figure out how much aesthetic I want to commit to; there's Strangeside7 aka spacerace book that is my reaction to how much I love how Redline the anime movie commits itself to "no we are about a race, like 60% of the screentime is just fully going to be an utterly ridiculous sci fi space race"; there's even a ridiculous YA trilogy that I would have to completely transplant the setting but might end up writing because the interplay between angel-physics and physics-physics was one of my favorite things in the world. and I guess the weird ridiculous technically a sequel series to ifmlam that was going to be published as original books that was basically me having fun with 'okay I fucking love star wars prequels old rotting space bureaucracy galactic republic style' except with seers and that also still might happen because it does have some of the coolest sci fi concepts and honestly I thiiiink that's all?

but the tl;dr of that timeline is I'm trying to finish a punch of projects Right Now, so that I can write books 2-5 of Opus, and then when I'm done that (which honestly, my average fiction-writing output is close to 100k a year. if I'm concentrating purely on one project, and writing books that are about 100k, we are talking four years. although my job situation is super up in the air in that period and writing might get put solidly on the backburner as I try to make it in academia, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) I will re-evaluate which projects go next, and that's when ifmlam is likely to come up for review.

I do not have any expectations that I will make it as an original author. I'm planning on posting all of my stuff online for free, but, like. it is incredibly difficult to convince people to try out even a piece of free and easily accessibly original work even if one has a huge following, I am a very small fanfiction author, and from what I can tell the majority of the people who are interested in my work are mostly interested in me finishing ifmlam. writing is a hobby for me, and while I'm writing mostly for me--and hence the for me bit at least for the next five years is pretty solidly going to be this series that I am deeply excited about and have sunk my heart and soul into every single aspect of--I'm human, and I don't really like shouting into the void, and I expect if I spend five years publishing to absolutely no response I will either stop writing for a while and do other things gods know my life is busy enough, return to fandom in general to write some other fanfic about whatever I get deeply into, or return to a work that I actually get response to. so ifmlam will probably start getting worked on a bit at that point one way or another. unless, of course, we are in the incredibly rare timeline in which I do make it as an original author, there are people who are deeply hyped for my original works and an actual demand for them, in which case as you may have noticed there are enough ideas there to keep me busy for a decade or two, and they will just get my full attention instead of fanfiction*. in this timeline, I will do what I was considering doing a few years ago, which is officially declare ifmlam otherwise abandoned and make one more giant chapter update which is a full and cleaned up outline of what I was going to write, interspersed with the scenes already written, and have ifmlam be given at least that closure.

*I want to make it clear that I very much love fanfiction and am proud to have been a fanfiction author and in my heart of hearts would keep writing it forever, I just also have a lot of ideas for characters and settings and magic systems and Aesthetics and I have been biting at the bit to write something that is //mine// and all mine and only mine for a while, I don't see original work as superior so much as there are a dozen fandoms that I am currently in and bursting to make content about except oops these fandoms currently only exist in my head, and I want to correct that

of course given how much as writing is my vent activity and I write what I'm in the mood for, there's a chance I'll feel ifmlam cravings before then, just... expect it to take a couple of years for an update, but also for there to be an update one way of another in a couple of years? but as for right now, I'm turning to original writing, because that is what brings me joy.

but I am really deeply honored that it brought you so much joy!!! and while I will never publish spoilers in a public place, if you message me off anon I am perfectly happy to give a run-down of my current plans for the ending, bc I know "wait a couple years and see" is not the most satisfactory of answers! and hey maybe you'll be like me and once you've given Opus a try you'll decide you like it better too, it does have Seers although they are deeply different Seers than in ifmlam but imo it's very gay and fun and at least politics on one side

[behind-the-hood]

Hey babes, been a while, huh? So, I've been thinking about how I want to get back into the flow of things, and with that came my update on what all's been going on. And it's a lot. So I'm going to hit the big points and my pets, because they are my babies ❤

So, I got divorced, which was great. He's stolen my half of our last tax return he was required by our divorce agreement to give to me, and kept my stimulus checks, which is not great, and I will be taking him to court when my lawyer says the system isn't as slow as a snail on glue.

I've got myself a new boyfriend. He's...the best thing ever ❤ I don't wanna get too mushy on you guys, but imma marry that man ❤ We've been together for over a year now, and in that time we actually lost his mom...and that one still hurts me. She...didn't die in a pleasant way, and I hate that she won't get to see us get married or see her first grandbaby or any of the things she was so excited to see and do...😞

On a less depressing note, I got a lot of new pets. I got a job at the vet, and day four into my job, a couple of big ol' king shepherds came in; they were strays. (I theorize they came from a puppy mill.) Anyway, I adopted the female, and the male was sent to a shelter for german shepherds. Korra, that's what I named her, started getting fat not too long into my owning her. Or so I thought. A couple months later, I went from owning one dog to owning eleven. She had been pregnant and we were in major denial, lol. Anyway, the birth went well, all the babies were healthy, even the runt was doing good at first. She didn't end up making it, she was half the size of the others and some time into the second day, she stopped eating. Korra was sad when her baby died, but after about ten minutes of leaning over the runt protectively, she let me take her. I don't know if her instincts said it was best for the other puppies or what, but she eventually let it happen. After the eight weeks were up, and with the help of my childhood friend, we got all the puppies new homes. I kept one, named him Mikey. She and her parents kept a couple. She named her puppy Fonzie, and her parents named theirs Butch. All three get to go to the park on Sundays and play together. Korra doesn't go too often because she's protective of Mikey and we're working on that, but for now, she's too aggressive and by no means a small dog, so baby steps.

Edit: Captain passed away in November. It was particularly upsetting to me because he was sick before I left for Arizona for a few weeks, and I wasn't going to go if I thought he wasn't going to make it, but everyone insisted he'd be okay and that I should go. He didn't make it, and I hate that I didn't get to say goodbye...but he passed in his sleep at the vet, and he was on medication that kept most of his pain at bay...and that's probably all I could ask for...because they had called the day before asking if we wanted to have him put down, and we never got to make that decision...I feel like it was better that way...it always hurts more to have to put them down...Edit over.

My boyfriend and I also got a kitten. It's cute; he's never really had a pet of his own before and he's super excited about it. I wish I could describe to you the wonder and amazement on his face when he saw Victor use his litter box for the first time 😂 He just picked right up on it, and my boyfriend was so proud 🥰How we came about getting Victor is a little bit more depressing. Or stressful. I don't know; I'll tell you what happened and you can decided. His mom had a few cats, and Big Girl was pregnant. She had four little babies, one of them being Victor. I kept making jokes about wanting to keep him, but my boyfriend and mom were both adamant that I had more than enough pets--which is fair because I do, lol--anyway, they were hitting about seven or eight weeks old when my boyfriend and I were leaving one morning. He was taking me home before he went to work. He turned on the car and we heard a blood curdling screech from in the hood. I panicked and got out just in time to see a kitten run out from under the car dragging its front paw and trying to get away. I caught him and started panicking and crying because his paw was bleeding and I could see bone and I was just in a frenzie. My boyfriend had to get to work though--sometimes his work ethics are cute, sometimes they are frustrating 🙃--so I called my mom on the way to my house and told her what all had transpired and to have a crate ready because we were going to the vet. She called the vet to let them know ahead of time and when we got there, Victor was immediately taken back and examined. Long story short, the belt in the car had cut through two of his finger bones but the rest of the cut was superficial. They decided he would need surgery and sutures. We agreed, we paid, we prayed he lived through the surgery, and then we waited. Good news is that Sweet Baby lived, he barely had a limp despite almost losing his paw, he hated his sutures, and now he runs around and plays with Theo like nothing ever happened, lol. And my boyfriend just adores Victor, and it's very cute 🥰

Anyway, I couldn't stay at the vet because I kept getting sick and breaking out in hives and, turns out, I'm allergic to nearly everything under the sun except for foods and lizards 🙃 I decided to go into real estate like my mom instead, and I just finished up all my classes and am ready to go into the thick of it!! Wish me luck in that endeavor 😁👍

So anyway, I can't think of anything else at the moment. That's my life update--Oh! I got covid from my mom. My quarantine ended literally two days ago, but I only had a cough. That being said, I've been suffering from a sinus infection for well over a month now, and got my period in the middle of it all, so that was awful 🙃 But! All of this is to tell you that I'm hoping to get back into my writing soon, and can present you guys with all the things I never got to finish or would totally love to start!! 😁

There's no set date on when I think I'll have anything ready, but I'm hoping over the next month or so, I can put out the third part of the Papa Makedon series out. I also hope over the course of the week I can start looking at all the asks I'm sure tumblr never told me I had 🙃

Love you, babes!! I hope you all have kept safe and healthy, and I hope to get back with you soon 😁🤙

---

Here's my sweet girl Korra with all her babies. I believe they were about a couple days old at that point.

And here's my Mikey, as a wee one and as a big boy ❤ He's turning one on August 3rd you guys~ 🥰

And here's little Victor (please excuse the food on his nose, I thought it was adorable, lol. I've just mostly got videos of him, and not too many pictures 😅)

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Sorry I haven't been active beyond shitposts lately, I've been busy getting my thesis up and running and barely have time or brainpower to spare to write at night before I pass out

On the bright side I read 6 pages of an academic paper this week and understood EVERYTHING. Yes I had to Google every other word (not literally, but it sure felt like it at times) but I actually understood it all in the end and I am so proud of myself.

6 pages, u might say, 6 pages is all u did in 3 days?? Well... Yeah XD It's a math and theory based paper, have mercy pls. I gotta work everything out on paper and then take notes that are informative enough for future reference and I get tired after every 2 pages to the point I'm falling asleep at my desk... I have a poor work ethic.

I also think I'm close to tying in what I wanna do to Systems Theory like my prof. Wants. He's very into reconstructability analysis and multidimensional relations with his probabilistic databases and well. I found that probabilistic deductive databases are a thing and You Know Me...

There's this thing called a trilattice right. And it consists of 3 partial orderings on the same set each going a different direction with each direction also being a lattice, it's actually *really* cool. Anyway, my profs catchphrase is BASICALLY "information is constraint" and GUESS WHAT BABEY. One of those partial orderings on the trilattice for the rules in the PDDB (probabilistic deductive database) is named Knowledge in a interval of [0,1] because it tells you the amount of information that specific fact gives you!

So I'm gonna ask him for help tomorrow morning to see if that can't be tied back in to a sort of reconstruction but for probabilistic deductive databases and their rules. Because with regular probabilistic databases it's easy to have 3 variables (ABC) then split into 2 (AB) and 2 (BC), and then reconstruct it from there right? But. I don't know how that would be possible with Rules based on facts and logic not just probabilities, and I wanna know if it's even possible because there IS still math involved with the rules, I just don't know if I'd be able to reconstruct anything with it cuz I don't even know the first step to that problem cuz it seems so different from the Regular PDB reconstruction problem and I GUESS that's what the whole thesis research thing is for, but STILL. I am just. So Tired. Let me sleep.

I put off so much work today just to do more research on my thesis like a CHUMP. I should've finished my parallel programming hw, but I didn't. Haha. I put it off too long already it's due Friday XD

Oh also I start work tomorrow so I will have even less time. But I am starting work!!! I'm actually kinda excited. I'm gonna be TAing 2 classes which sounds cool! except a lot of the students are my friends (4/5 in one class and 2/2 in the other!!). So it will be kinda awkward since I am the extra help session. At some point my prof (same one who is my thesis advisor) wants me to actually teach an entire lesson myself. I am so nervous I have super bad stage fright lol. Actually tho, these two classes tie right into my thesis subject so hopefully by then I will be well read on all the subjects necessary to teach. I can, at the very least, teach them reconstruction. Maybe not much else, but I got that going for me haha

Oh God what happened I was gonna go to bed with an apology like, "yes Ive just shitpost for the past like week sorry about that" but here I am 1am, meeting at 11am (I can't be fully rested on sub-11/12 hours of sleep fml), just rambling about my life I am so sorry

You guys wanna see a candle I made today as a gift for actually reading this (and as part of the apology)

It's so beautiful

I was gonna put one of my borderlands stickers on but I was worried it'd peel when I lit it, so I chose a sticker I had 2 copies of

My mom thinks it's hilarious and that's all I needed I also got her to say "big yikes" today because we spilled wax on the oven mitts my power grows

[extreme-technicality]

does talking to an anon help about ninjago help? cuz I'm down

DHDKCKGSC YES IT DOES THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OFFERING YOUR SERVICES

Okay now that I know I won’t be clogging people’s dashes buckle the fuck in my dude and I should stress that I literally would not be talking about this as much as I will be if I didn’t genuinely enjoy the show. I’m gonna go season by season and just Rant

S1 has the serpentine as the bbeg and like, as far as villains go they’re p lit. They’re early enough that they haven’t been done to hell, things are fresh, the characters and dynamics are being fleshed out, and all in all s1 is a pretty solid season. There’s some fuckery that gets brought up re: how the FUCK aging works and what the actual timeline of Ninjago is and how Wu and Garmadon fit into that timeline, fuckery that LITERALLY NEVER GETS RESOLVED IN A SATISFYING WAY BC ITS REVEALED IN A LATER SEASON (s8, dw we’ll get there lmao) THAT THE ONLY REASON THE FIRST SPINJITSU MASTER, WU, AND GARMADON LIVED AS LONG AS THEY DID IS CUZ THEYRE BASICALLY DEMIGODS AND ITS IMPLIED THAT LLOYD WILL ALSO LIVE FOR A LONG ASS TIME WHICH MEANS ONE DAY HES GONNA OUTLIVE ALL HIS FRIENDS AND EVERYONE HE EVER LOVED WHICH IS A FUN THING TO THINK ABOUT AT NIGHT But anyway I digress, s1 also coincidentally introduces Lloyd (he wasn’t in the pilot episodes that set up the rest of the series) and the existence of Evil Dad Garmadon.

S2 is where Garmadon starts acting a lot more Evil and a lot less Dad. He’s the main antagonist for that season, and I actually read somewhere that the show was originally slated to end after s2 which high key explains the fuckery of literally every single season after this lmaooooo. Much like s1, I really can’t find much to complain about, the first two seasons are pretty decent as far as I can remember

Season. Fucking. Three. Where the fuck do I start??? I hate season three for entirely personal reasons revolving around the STUPID GODDAMN ROMANCE WRITING. okay lemme back up and explain a thing first so, Jay is dating Nya and they’re fine, they’re going steady, aND THEN????? THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON INTRODUCES BULLSHIT LOVE TRIANGLE FUCKERY FOR ZERO GODDAMN REASON, BITCH I HATE LOVE TRIANGLES AND I HATE THEM EVEN MORE WHEN THEYRE DONE FOR NO GODDAMN REASON!!! AND THEN. AS IF THAT WERENT ENOUGH. THEY SHOEHORNED A ROBOT ROMANCE BETWEEN ZANE AND PIXAL AND I KNOW I RANTED ABOUT THIS A LITTLE BIT WHEN I WAS ACTUALLY WATCHING BUT I DIDNT GO INTO ENOUGH DETAIL!!!! THEY MADE THE OTHER NINJA OOC IN ORDER TO PROP UP THEIR SHIP!!!!!! AND AT ONE POINT ZANE GOES “its like we were…made for each other” AND I HAD TO FUCUCJDHVE I HAD TO SCREAM INTO A PILLOW BRO, IM SO TIRED!!!! NO THE FUCK YOU WERENT!!!!!! YOU WERE MADE FOR YOU AND PIXAL WAS MADE FOR PIXAL AND IF YALLS WANNA BANG BOLTS THATS FINE BUT DONT IMPLY THAT EITHER OF YOU WERE MADE INCOMPLETE!!!! THATS AN INSULT TO YOUR MAKERS AND YOURSELVES, MOVE ON, PLEASE AND THANK YOU. anyway that season also killed Zane (for the first time, but not the last) (spoiler alert lmao) and like, not to be an emotional little shit but I did cry a bit at his funeral.

S4 is honestly one of my favorites, even though the romance crimes continue (the love triangle bullshit is continuing and honestly I maintain that Cole, Nya, and Jay should all have gotten together and in my personal canon they DID, and also Kai has a forced romance) the VILLAIN makes up for it imo. He’s campy!! He’s funny!! He’s a clown!! He’s serious enough that if he says “I’m gonna kill you” HE MEANS IT and that’s so fucking refreshing!!!! S4 is honestly 8/10 just for the villain alone, don’t like that it retconned the SHIT out of the elemental masters and how many different elements there are TO master but eh, it’s ninjago, shit is stupid.

S5 was…interesting? OH WAIT I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT S3 INTRODUCED A GARMADON WHO WAS A LOT LESS EVIL AND A LOT MORE DAD, HONESTLY I THOUGHT IT TOOK A LOT OF THE FLAVOR OUT BUT THATS JUST ME LMAOOO. anyway s5 killed Garmadon, and I was a little sad cuz I like him okay??? I just think he’s NEAT, he’s got big dad energy, he was teaching Lloyd some shit that just got DROPPED and literally was never brought up again which is honestly a theme in Ninjago. Ninjago drinking game: take a shot every time they introduce a plot point or ability and drop it at or before the end of the season. WHICH THEY ALSO DID IN S5 WITH A DIFFERENT POWER ACTUALLY, so all the ninja are masters of Spinjitsu right, well s5 introduced the concept of Airjitsu which only Spinjitsu masters can learn and it lets them FLY and they used that for seasons 5 and 6 and then they nEVER BROUGHT IT UP AGAIN EVEN THOUGH IT WOULDVE COME IN HANDY FOR S E V E R A L DIFFERENT SITUATIONS ACROSS THE SEASONS, ONE OF THEM WOULD BE FALLING TO THEIR DOOM AND MY ASS WOULD BE YELLING “YOU CAN FLY, DUMBASS” - anyway, they do that again later lmao it’s fine. But what’s low key NOT fine is they made Nya the WATER NINJA!!! Like I’m not mad she has powers, except I kinda am, she was doing just fine as Samurai X and honestly the only reason she has super special ninja powers is for plot reasons. Also Cole got turned into a ghost, but by s7 he’s????? No longer a ghost????????? And that’s NEVER addressed or reasoned away, so like. Cool lmao

S6 didn’t happen. Like, canonically, s6 ends with wish fuckery that undoes the entire season and none of the characters remember anything that happened except Jay and Nya because S6 is the season where they get back together so they remember all those events for???? Feelings reasons?????? Unclear, moving on. The actual bbeg for S6 was a djinn with a vaguely Spanish accent, and to this DAY I don’t know why they made him have a SPANISH accent. Djinn are Arabic, not Spanish!! They’re not central or South American, either!!!! Your villain design makes no sense, do better

S7 had MORE time fuckery, and retconned what happened to Kai and Nya’s parents and hmmmhmhmhmhmhm that makes me Upsetti Spaghetti :3 not just the retconning, but the fact that they LITERALLY brought them back oNLY TO NEVER MENTION THEM AGAIN!!!!!! LITERALLY!!!!!!!! Okay so at the VERY very beginning, like pilot episodes beginning, Kai talks about their dad like he died/left fairly recently, BUT s7 contradicts that and claims that both of their parents were essentially abducted when Kai and Nya were little kids, which makes me question what in the fresh fuck two little kids were doing for all those years alone. SETTING THAT ASIDE FOR A HOT SECOND, their parents were also apparently good friends of Wu’s and old war buddies (from the Serpentine wars, which is YET ANOTHER bit of the timeline that doesn’t quite add up but honestly I could make a whole other post about that shit). But if they were such good fucking friends, why didn’t Wu check in every now and again??? What the fuck was Wu doing that was so fucking important that he couldn’t have been assed to visit his friends ONCE in like TEN MOTHERFUCKING YEARS and realize “oh shit, they’re not here and there are two tiny children running around unsupervised…My Kids Now : )” LIKE????? WU YOU LOW KEY SHOULDA LOOKED OUT FOR YOUR FRIENDS’ KIDS BETTER, THEY COULDA DIED BRO!!! Uhhhh the time fuckery also results in Wu getting yeeted ahead in time a bit and the ninja gotta find him

Season. Eight. I have…mixed feelings about this one. The beginning absolutely SLAUGHTERED me, and not in a “this is so fucking funny” way. No, the beginning made me feel like I was being flayed alive with just about every episode because Ninjago was back on its forced romance bullshit and this time it was Lloyd’s turn on the chopping block. That hurt my soul cuz like, look at that mans color scheme, he’s CLEARLY alloaro, why are you forcing romance on my aro man, why would you hurt me like that, BUT ALSO BECAUSE HE AND THE GIRL HE WAS BEING SET UP WITH HAD A LITTLE HEART TO HEART REALLY EARLY ON AND IT WAS THE MOST QUEER CODED SHIT!!!! IT DEADASS READ AS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN AN OUT AND PROUD QUEER AND A CLOSETED QUEER AND THEY MADE!!! IT!!!!! STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!! The only thing that kept me watching at first was wanting to find Wu, and then I started enjoying myself once Cole found a plot-relevant baby and had fatherhood thrust upon him. Everything went from “ehhhhh” to “holy shit this FUCKS” once it was revealed that Rumi (Lloyd’s love interest) wAS PLAYING HIM THE WHOLE TIME AND WAS EVIL AND HAD AN EVIL GIRLFRIEND!!!!!! LITERALLY IMPROVED EVERYTHING ABOUT THE SEASON FOR ME, I COULD EVEN FORGIVE THE WHOLE “let’s resurrect Garmadon, but as evil as possible” BULLSHIT!!!!!!

S9 is a continuation of s8, Garmadon is back and 1000% Evil, 10% Dad, but none of the Dad energies is directed at Lloyd - it’s all directed at Rumi, and honestly I could write a whole ass post on just RUMI cuz that’s honestly my DAUGHTER and I LOVE HER and I’m MAD SHE DIES AT THE END OF THIS SEASON!!!! SHE DESERVED THERAPY AND TO LIVE WITH HER GF AND MAYBE SOME CRIME. AS A TREAT. RUMI DESERVED BETTER AND LOW KEY IM GONNA WRITE A FIC ABOUT IT, BUT ANYWAY WHERE WAS I

Ah right, so s9 has the four major Ninja stuck in the original dimension with no way home, while Lloyd has no powers (cuz he almost died last season) and has to somehow lead a resistance against Garmadon (who has taken control of Ninjago City and is working on the rest of Ninjago). Actually, s9 is pretty cool. Like, the end of s8 and into s9 are low key my favorite episodes, and I kinda wanna rewatch them now -

S10 is a FUN one. Garmadon got got last season, but he didn’t DIE, so he’s in cold storage and now there’s Another Threat and he’s the only one who knows wtf they’re up against so they let him out and he works with them. The funny part is, he is still Very Much Evil and doesn’t quite Get emotions like he did when he was, uh, human lmao, sO HE WOKE UP EVERY DAY DURING THAT SEASON AND DECIDED TO CAUSE PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE. IT WAS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING SHIT. 1000000/10 MY FAVORITE GARMADON, he ended that season by literally fucking off into Ninjago and they never decided to track him down 😭😭😭😭😭and I’m so SAD about it dude

S11 has another Serpentine as the bbeg, though in the setup to that they retconned how the fucking Serpentine tribes and history work??? I think???? Also Wu was a good 150% angrier and generally Done with the ninja’s shit, which was honestly refreshing tho I’m not quite sure I liked what the refreshed view was, but whatever lmao. S11 also had the ninja get yeeted to the dimension farthest from Ninjago, and honestly - okay, so they didn’t all go at the same TIME, Zane left about a week or two before the others did but there was time dilation fuckery afoot which I’m not too mad about cuz low key it makes sense. What I AM mad about is that they didn’t play the angst up to its full POTENTIAL!!!!!! Zane was EVIL in the other dimension!!!! Okay so I’m Ninjago he was only gone for maybe a week or two, but DECADES had passed in the other one, and all that time Zane was alone and disconnected from everyone he knew and loved, with a staff that boosted his power while slowly corrupting him and Turning Him Evil to help him, and like???? The thought of Zane trying to find a way home, trying to get SOME sort of message back, while he has to use the staff more and more to help him survive the long, lonely decades, so that by the time his family DOES show up its too late??? BRO. B R O. THAT JUST HITS DIFFERENT, BUT NINJAGO DIDNT DO THAT!!! THEY MADE HIM EVIL DUE TO MEMORY WIPE!!!!!! MEMORY WIPE IS BABY SHIT COMPARED TO A LONG, SLOW CORRUPTION!!!!!!

S12 was alright. It went into Cole’s mom, touched on some of the adventures she had had, threatened another forced romance (this time on poor Cole, just leave my mans ALONE) but thankfully didn’t follow through this time, introduced cool new powers that honestly hasn’t been elaborated on since that’s the most recent season I think lmao

Anyway thanks for reading and letting me rant!!!! I have,,So Much More I could talk about, PLEASE ask me about Rumi, some of my headcanons re: Garmadon and Wu’s dynamic, the Serpentine, my top five times they butchered Kai’s character for Plot Reasons, or anything else I brought up here that you want me to elaborate on!!!

[frankenfic]

prompt #4

fandom(s): avatar: the last airbender and boku no hero academia

main character: todoroki shōto, and sorta zuko

other characters: all atla characters except zuko (it'll be explained), and also i'm combining zuko and todoroki's moms into one super mom.

setting: atla universe, with some changes to "zuko's" backstory.

basically i love zuko and todoroki and while i was watching bnha amvs i was thinking about them when i got the sudden thought—what if we replaced zuko in the atla universe with todoroki, and kept todoroki's waterbending ice ability??!?!?

basically, i imagined todoroki as zuko wandering the earth kingdom or whatever while pretending to just be an ordinary waterbender.

like, maybe zuko/todoroki's mom secretly had some waterbending ancestry and by some miracle (curse) zukoroki ended up with both firebending and waterbending.

like, he's still got the same thing where he grew to resent his father for what he did to him and his mother and refuses to use his left side firebend bc he doesn't want to be like his father and shit. except now with the bonus of banishment?

the hard part is figuring out which parts of either of the backstories to keep. for example: who gave him the scar? his mother? or his father?

idea: they both did. now, bear with me here—what i'm thinking, is maybe we keep the incident with todoroki's mom burning him with boiling water from a teapot (maybe iroh's there, idk—or, maybe that's why he always gets so angry when uncle tries to offer him tea, bc everytime he sees it or smells it it triggers his fucking ptsd of the person he trusted most in the world betraying him and causing him unimaginable pain, but like no one knows that bc it was kept so hush-hush that only zuko, ozai, super-mom, and maybe azula know) bc he reminds her of his father—

oh my god sorry for the intermission but what if she burned azula instead bc she's so much more like ozai and then ozai burned zuko bc he's too much like his mother and then we just have both of the royal fire children with burned and scarred faces, one with a burn from boiling hot water and the other from a searing roaring flame and just...both each have burns from one of their parents oh my gOD the ANGST

—and for a couple of years he goes around the palace with this horrible burn and people always stare bc like...that's the crown prince and shit. and idk ozai's probably not happy with it, but the point is:

when it comes to the agni kai, ozai decides to be extra cruel and burns zukoroki in the same spot his super-mum did, except harder and hotter so the burn is ever larger and more painful, so much so that it even reaches his ear and he can no longer open his eye all the way and his eyesight is probably damaged and maybe his hearing as well and—

and then he gets banished and he decides, you know what. fuck it.

his mom's gone, ozai's an asshole, his face burns, he can't see or hear right, and ozai still never found out he could waterbend. so.

todozuko is done with the fire nation. he's had fucking enough. he's decided he doesn't wanna go back, and no uncle i'm never changing my mind.

what would happen if i found the avatar? well i'd help him if if meant defeating my father—and go ahead, tell everyone how much of a traitor i am, i don't care. i'm already banished anyway.

you...what? you're—proud of me?? uncle, what—

and so zhōto and iroh end up traveling together (and maybe the crew, too? idk) zhōto eventually works up the courage to tell iroh about his waterbending and at first he's really terrified about uncle's reaction but

uncle looks at him like he's a fucking miracle or something, he looks at him with wonder and amazement and—

come, zhouto!!!! where are we going???? to get waterbending scrolls, of course!!!!! pick your jaw off the ground, there's no time to waste!!!! think about everything you're going to learn, everything you should've been taught years ago!!!! you're going to be a master waterbender, i just know it!!!!!!

and bc they never ditched the ship or told the fire nation of their treachery (for conviences sake) it's surprisingly easy for them to obtain waterbending scrolls—

—and also the only person who knew about his waterbending before iroh was his mother who he accidentally bent in front of and who, immediately realizing her own "tainted" bloodline was the cause, swore zhouto to secrecy and made him promise to never use it—

—and so zhōto and iroh secretly practice waterbending below deck in their rooms, and they keep practicing with it until they feel they're "ready," and then—with the help of their now loyal-to-the-death-crew (they at some point came to the unanimous decision that zhōto is way better than ozai, and he's surprisingly not a spoilered brat—bc unlike original-zuko he already despises his father and consciously makes an effort to be different) who go along with some made up lie that zhōto and iroh both died—

maybe zhōto fell in artic water during a storm and iroh jumped in to save him against the captain's warnings and refused to return to safety until he found zhōto, but before he could a wave cracked zhōto's head against the boat and he went under and iroh dived and dived and dived into colder and colder water until he was so so cold and he couldn't hold his breath any longer but the surface was too far away and he was too tired from the cold in his bones to swim and with his body empty of its last bit of air he just—

sank.

and so with a cover in place, zhōto and iroh said a tearful goodbye to their deathly loyal crew and then set off to live their new lives.

then skip foward a few years and they run into the fucking avatar and friends and wait shit is that—

—not long into his banishment, just after zhōto confessed to iroh about his waterbending, they set sail for the southern water tribe, figuring that it would be a good start for their search for waterbending scrolls, since the north would be too much of a risk and they figure: there's no waterbenders in the southern tribe anyway not after what we did to them so it's not like they need the scrolls...besides, we were gunna give them back as soon as we're done with them so if any waterbender babies end up being born we'll have returned the scrolls before they're even old enough to need them—

—but alas, when they make port they are told by a very angry boy about zhōto's age—

(i'm aging him down a year or two bc shōta was only like 14 in bnha while zuko was 16 i think in atla, about one year older than sokka—so he's about 11-12 when this happens, and katara and sokka are 11 and 12 respectively)

—that the fire nation burned any scrolls they had, when they killed his mother—

(oof)

—and so, to the great surprise of all the villagers present, and all who hear about it after, they leave immediately without harming or threatening anyone, without even searching any of the (huts? igloos?) for potentially hidden scrolls. they just...leave.

and the scarred one—the one with the golden trim on his collar who the other men defer to as if he's in charge—

—which is ridiculous, he's so tiny, he can't be much older than sokka, how could he be their leader, shouldn't it be that old guy—

—actually thanks sokka for his assistance before apologizing for taking up his time, and then leaves. what the fuck—

—then cut to three years later and now that boy (sokka of the southern water tribe, son of the chief, he had introduced himself as) and his sister (katara of the southern water tribe, daughter of the chief) were apparently traveling with the AVATAR. and that girl, katara? she's a waterbender. a fucking waterbender.

what the fu—

[trysomecats]

(Equation of a Lie anon) It was 1D and I'm pretty sure it was like Louis being a sub and failing a math test and then lying about it. Then his doms make him quit soccer?? Sorry if that's way vague it's been a while 😅😅 Also thank you for answering, you're super sweet!

Ah, yes, now I remember! I did remove that fic off of ao3 (for personal reasons) However, I have no problem with posting it on Tumblr, so here you go!:The Equation of a Lie

Summary: Louis’ grade in mathematics is slowly declining. If he doesn’t do something about it soon, his doms will make him quit the footie team. When he fails a major test, he keeps it from his doms, planning on retaking it behind their backs to save his grade. Unfortunately not everything goes to plan.

“Now, I have your tests to hand back. Most of you did very well, the class average was beyond exceptional. However, if you feel that you did poorly, you are more than welcome to talk to me and make arrangements to retake the test on Monday. After you all receive your tests, class is dismissed.”

Louis felt himself sigh internally with relief. Hopefully he counted as ‘most’ of the class. To be honest he hadn’t studied as much for this test as he should have. Maths was never his strong point, not to mention it was terribly boring. It also didn’t help that the professor, Mr. Winston, was a major ass.

Unfortunately when Louis received his test, his stomach dropped when he saw what his grade was.

One of the biggest expectations Harry and Nick had for him was to get good grades. School was important, they’d explained to him, especially university. This math class was the only class that he didn’t share with one or both of his doms. Naturally he’d slacked off a bit, knowing he wasn’t under their watchful eyes. His notes become shorter and careless, as did his studying.

Now, however, he was experiencing the consequences of his behavior. They would surely make him temporarily quit the footie team until he could bring up his grade, or worse make him stay off the team permanently as punishment. It was hard to tell, because Louis had only been their sub since June, four months ago. They were strict, but only when need be. Louis tried his best to behave for them, even if his new lifestyle was taking some getting used to. He hadn’t been planning on finding his soulmates so soon in life, but apparently fate decided differently.

Louis hid the test in the very back of his folder. He waited for most of the class to retreat before going up to his professor’s desk.

“Um, Mr. Winston?”

“Hmm?” The professor looked up. “Ah, Louis. I’m guessing you want to retake the test?”

“Yes please,” Louis nodded hurriedly, glancing at the clock. His doms would get here pretty quickly, and he didn’t want them to overhear the conversation. “You said I can retake it on Monday?”

“That’s right, you can just stay and take it after class. First we can go over any questions you have beforehand. You should look over your test this weekend though, and make notes of what you did incorrectly. Try to figure out the problems yourself.”

“Right,” Louis said quickly when he caught sight of his doms approaching the doorway. “Well, thank you Professor, have a good weekend!”

“Louis,” Professor Winston said sternly, halting the boy in his tracks. “Make sure you get that test signed by your doms as well, alright?”

“Y-Yes Professor,” Louis said, feeling like a rock had fallen into his stomach, and also getting a bit angry. Winston was always more unfair to subs than he was to doms. While it wasn’t considered uncommon for a professor to request a dom’s signature, it was still a rather dickish move.

Louis all but ran from the room, stopping at the sight of his doms. They had their hands entwined, looking at him with beaming smiles.

“Hi Love,” Harry kissed his cheek. “How was class?”

“Good!” Louis answered far too cheerfully. “Great, even.”

“I never thought I’d see the day where you answered so positively about a math class,” Nick said, taking his turn to kiss Louis’ cheek as well. “I take it that means you did well on the test?”

Louis swallowed, forcing a grin. “Yup! I guess all that studying paid off.”

“Just like we told you,” Harry said with a nod. “Hard work always pays off in the end. That’s why we’re so persistent, not because we’ve got sticks in our arses.”

The sub flushed, remembering a past argument with his doms in which they had withheld his phone until he’d finished his literature homework, prompting Louis to insult them in such a way as Harry had said. He’d lost his phone for a week and gone to bed with a sore bum that night.

“Well, it’s the weekend now anyway,” Louis reminded them. “We have two days to forget about school.”

“That’s right, was there anything special you wanted to do?”

“I was thinking,” Louis bit his lip as an idea came to mind. “Maybe I could see Niall? It’s been awhile since I’ve visited him.”

That wasn’t a lie at all; Niall wasn’t going to school right now, and Louis missed him dearly. He could visit his best friend, hang out for a bit, have him forge a signature for the test…it would be a good visit, really.

“That sounds like a lovely idea,” Nick smiled at him. “I’m sure Niall will be thrilled to see you.”

…

Niall ended up being very thrilled to see Louis, that is until he found out the real reason for his friend’s visit.

“I don’t get it, why can’t you just show it to them? If you’re allowed to make it up, they shouldn’t be too mad…unless you muck up the second attempt, that is.”

“Niall, you don’t know Harry and Nick like I do. They’re very insistent that I keep up my marks. Besides, they’ll find out that I’ve not been studying as much as I should be, and that alone will screw me over.”

“But why do I have to sign your test?”

“Because,” Louis said, shoving a pen into his friend’s hand. “Professor Fuckface knows my handwriting too well, and I’m shit at impersonating anyway.”

“Alright fine,” Niall consented, ”Give your test here then.”

Louis left Niall’s feeling quite content and confident that he could keep this whole math fiasco under the wraps. So long as he studied hard and did well on the retake, everything would work out just fine.

“I just hope everything goes well,” Niall muttered once the test was signed. “I don’t want my doms finding out. They wouldn’t really approve of something like this.”

“Niall,” Louis tsked. “Nobody will find out. Even if they did, I wouldn’t tell who signed my test. You’re completely safe in this whole thing.”

“Okay, I guess that makes me feel better,” Niall said, his smile returning. “Want to play fifa now?”

Louis grinned. “Let’s do it.”

…

It was three days after retaking the test, on Thursday evening, when the test had once again made an appearance into his life, despite him thinking it was all over with. Footie practice had been from three to five, and now Louis was on his way home.

Nick or Harry would often come to watch the end of his practice and escort him home, but today neither one showed up. Louis didn’t think too much of it though, and even felt proud that his doms trusted him enough to make it home by himself. He was always telling them that it was pointless for them to come, seeing as their flat was just a block from the university.

His stomach was definitely ready for food, and he hoped that Harry was making something good tonight for dinner. It was usually ready by the time he got home from practice, so his mouth was already watering at the possibilities.

To top off his already good mood, tomorrow was Friday which meant the weekend was practically here. This weekend Louis wanted to do something special with his doms. Perhaps they could go to the city’s amusement park, or have a picnic on the beach.

“I’m back!” Louis called, dropping his sports bag to the floor and kicking his cleats off. He grinned at the smell that had taken over the apartment, as it was obvious that a pot roast was in the crock pot. That meant garlic potatoes, crisp buttered bread, and a caesar salad were also in the works.

“Hazza? Nick?” He called out, as nobody had rushed out to greet him like normal. The sub meandered through the hall and to the kitchen, seeing his guess had been correct, as dinner looked almost done. There was no Harry in sight though.

“Come join us in the living room Louis!” Harry’s voice finally called out from the living room. Louis grinned, exiting the kitchen at a hurried speed so that he could see his doms.

“Hi guys,” Louis pecked Nick’s cheek and gave Harry’s arm a squeeze. “What are you doing out here? Dinner smells so good Haz, I’m starving! Coach had us run such hard drills today, but I did really well…”

The sub trailed off a bit, especially when he realized that neither boy was smiling. “Um, is everything okay?”

He hadn’t misbehaved today, had he? Louis wracked his mind for anything that could have happened today. He’d done all of his morning chores, behaved during his classes, answered each text his doms had sent to his phone…he’d been good.

“It sounds like you had fun at footie practice,” Harry finally said, though his voice didn’t contain any warmth. “Which is good, seeing as you won’t be going back anytime soon.”

Louis still wasn’t comprehending what was going on. “Huh?”

Nick cocked his head to the space in between he and Harry. “Sit down, Louis.”

The sub did as he was told, now feeling a bit cautious. What on earth had his doms in such a somber mood, and what was with the comment about footie? “Is everything okay?”

“Everything was okay,” Nick told him. “That is, up until about an hour ago, when we received a call from your math professor.”

Louis felt his face go white.

“He had some very interesting news,” Harry continued from where Nick had left off. “You see, he called to inform us that you failed the test that you took on Monday…re-took, actually. He suggested you be set up with a tutor immediately, seeing as you’re on the verge of failing the class entirely.”

Louis’ lips were parted slightly as he stared back at his doms. His brain was trying to process a dozen thoughts and emotions at once. He had been sure that this second time taking the test had gone well! This was not good, not good at all.

“It’s quite peculiar actually,” Nick said. “Professor Winston was under the impression that we knew about your struggles with the material, seeing as he has your old test, apparently signed by the both of us….”

“I think we both know that neither Nick or I signed that test,” Harry’s voice was low. “So now, Louis, the floor is yours. We demand an explanation immediately.”

The sub resisted a squeak, his mouth feeling way too dry. His mind was whirling, trying to come up with something reasonable to say. Evidently he was already quite screwed.

“I- I thought I had it under control,” He soon blurted out. “It was- I studied some more, and I thought I would do better. I didn’t want anything to get in the way with foot-”

“Well it’s a very good thing that you won’t have to worry about that silly sports team any longer,” Nick said. “You’re going to leave your phone down here and go upstairs to the guest bedroom.”

“Nick and I are going to eat the delicious meal that I’ve prepared,” Harry continued. “You, meanwhile, will get dressed in your pajamas and stand in the corner of the bedroom. Right now!”

“Y-Yes Sirs,” Louis’ felt his voice waver as he rushed to do as he was told.

The sub was unable to stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks as he changed into pajama shorts and a t-shirt before heading to the guest bedroom. Nobody ever went in here much, as they all occupied the main bedroom. This room was more or less only used for isolation punishments.

Once he was in the corner, nose pressed against the wall, Louis cried quietly. He felt very remorseful of his actions. If only he had just informed his doms straight away about the first test…they would have been a little upset, but nothing like this. There were a lot of behaviors that his doms disapproved of, but lying and deception were probably the worst.

His stomach grumbled, because he could still smell the delicious pot roast downstairs, but he would not be having any of it. This was not at all how Louis had expected his evening would be going. He’d been thinking more along the lines of a yummy dinner, hot shower, and lots of cuddles and kisses.

Now Louis’ stomach churned. He had never done something like this before, so he was unsure of what his punishment would be. A spanking, most likely, and obviously no more footie for awhile.

No more footie…

Louis let out a choked sob.

Missing dinner wasn’t that big of a deal. The sub knew he wouldn’t be able to stomach anything anyhow.

…

After dinner, as promised, Harry and Nick came upstairs.

“Harry and I have been talking, and your punishment has been decided. Now Louis, we’ve had many chats about your role and rules as a sub. You’ve broken some of the more serious ones with your recent actions. You’ve lied and deceived us, about school of all things. And you know very well how seriously we take your education.”

The sub could only stare at the floor, ashamed.

“Here’s what’s going to happen. Tonight your bum is going to feel the full force of what happens when you deceive your doms. Tomorrow the three of us are going to have a nice long chat with your math professor. Afterwards, we’re going straight to your football coach. You’re going to tell him that you won’t be on the team for the remainder of the season, because you’ve been a very bad boy.”

“Please!” Louis cried out as he sniffled. “I’ll do anything, just don’t make me quit footie. Please don’t!”

“Kneel!” Nick said sharply, causing the sub to instantly collapse to his knees. “Playing sports is a privilege, and subs who lie get their privileges revoked. From now on you’re going to be in tutoring four days a week after school. Then you’re going to come home and do homework. When you’ve finished your homework, you’re going to quietly study. Up until you have perfect marks for every course, if we hear a word of complaint from you, your bum will turn a nice shade of red.”

“Is that clear?” Harry asked asked a few seconds later, when Louis only continued to sob.

“Y-Yes,” Louis managed to say. “Y-Y-Yes Si-irs.”

“One more thing, before we get started. Who signed your test?”

Louis moaned lowly, refusing to look up.

“That’s not an answer,” Nick said. “Was it you, or someone else? Don’t even think of trying to lie to us again.”

“Niall!” Louis bawled. “Was N-Niall!”

Nick nodded. “I thought as much. Well Lou, now you’ve even gotten your friend into trouble. I hope you understand now that there are always consequences that come with actions.”

Louis was still too distraught to say anything, so he continued to weep at the feet of his doms, remorseful and guilty. Now Niall would be in trouble with his own doms, and it was all his fault.

…

Louis slept in the guest bedroom that night, lying on his stomach with a bottom that was on fire. Neither Nick nor Harry went easy on the physical part of his punishment. They didn’t use any objects of course, but thirty spanks on his bare bum from each of his doms was more than a little painful in itself, excluding the additional fifteen smacks on his sitting spots at the very tops of his thighs.

He didn’t get cuddles either. Usually his post-spanking treatment bordered on being spoiled, with cuddles and warm milk and soothing aloe on his rear. Instead he’d been sent straight to bed.

Nick and Harry were very firm this time, making it clear that he wouldn’t be getting any sort of comfort until after he explained to his coach that he was leaving the team.

That hurt a lot more than the spanking did.

…

The next day was no doubt the most humiliating thing that Louis had ever gone through. Neither of his doms said much of anything to him, though Harry did serve him a plate of pancakes. There were no cute whipped cream faces on them though.

At school Louis squirmed through all of his classes, his poor bottom still tender from the night before. When math (his last class of the day) had finished, it was time for his doms to meet with Professor Winston.

“Good afternoon Professor,” Nick reached out to shake Winston’s hand, and Harry followed suit. “We’re here for the meeting scheduled in concern of our sub.”

The professor greeted them professionally. “Yes of course, have a seat.”

It was embarrassing, having to listen to his doms and professor talk about him as if he were incompetent. The only good thing was that Louis didn’t have to speak much, although he was fuming at everything Winston was saying to his doms.

“Louis has been declining for weeks now,” Winston drawled on. “Always looking out the window and doodling in his notebook. I can’t recall him ever raising his hand, not once.”

These words appeared to irk his doms, much to Louis’ satisfaction.

“If it’s been bad for this long, why haven’t you contacted us sooner?” Harry demanded to know.

“W-Well,” The professor’s cheeks reddened, caught in his words.

Needless to say, the meeting didn’t last long after that. Unfortunately now came the even worst part of the day, which would be paying a visit to his football coach.

…

“Um, James?”

Coach Cordon looked up from his clipboard, his face instantly brightening. “Louis, hi! What can I do for you? I know you’re eager, but practice isn’t for another hour.”

“R-Right,” Louis swallowed, praying that he wouldn’t break down in front of his coach.

James then noticed Louis’ doms. He was already well acquainted with them, seeing as Harry and Nick attended all of Louis’ games and even sometimes practices.  “Hello boys. Excited for the big game coming up?”

Louis felt like he’d been punched in the gut. James and the rest of his team were counting on him for this game, which was coming up in just a few weeks. Him not playing would leave them all screwed.

Harry cleared his throat. “I’m sure the game will go well. But James, Louis has something he needs to tell you.”

Harry’s solemn expression clued James in on the fact that some bad news was about to be heard. Louis, meanwhile, was biting his lip so hard that it was in danger of bleeding. He felt humiliated, being marched over here by his doms, like he was incapable of doing it by himself.

But that was a main point of this punishment, humiliation.

“I’m sorry James,” Louis took a deep breath, looking down because he was unable to look his coach in the face. “I can’t be on the team anymore. I was- I was bad. I’m so sorry.”

“Oh,” James sounded so disappointed. “You…You’re sure about this?”

Louis was quiet, until he felt a nudge. “Yes Coach. I’m sure.”

“Thank you for understanding James,” Nick said, resting a hand on Louis’ shoulder. “We should get going now. We wish your team the best of luck for the remainder of the season.”

Louis’ shoulders shook, chest tight as he tried to contain his silent sobs of despair. While some people might view it as something of little value, football meant everything to him, and to lose it was to lose a tremendous part of his life. It also hurt, knowing that his team had been counting on him, and he would be letting them down.

“I know that was hard,” Harry murmured, wrapping his arms around the distraught sub. “You were a very good boy today.”

Any other time Louis would have immediately sought comfort from his doms. Right now, however, he was too crushed to accept any sort of comfort, so he stood rigidly without returning the hug.

Louis maintained his distance the rest of the way home, planning to head straight up to bed and hide under the covers for awhile.

Nick caught him by the shoulder once they were inside their home. “Lou…”

“You said I was good, can’t I just be alone right now? I’ve got homework to do.”

They let him go, and had Louis looked back, he would have noticed their pained expressions.

…

Three weeks.

For three weeks now, Louis had been nothing but the perfect, studious sub. Through all his classes, Louis’ eyes never left his professors as he took diligent notes. Monday through Thursday, he would head straight to the tutoring center after his classes, where he would spend two hours working on math equations with the on hand tutors.

Once his tutoring was done, one of Louis’ doms would come to get him. Then would come the time for any additional homework from his other classes. Dinner would happen somewhere during this time, and afterwards Louis would simply study for any upcoming quizzes or tests before going to bed.

Nick and Harry weren’t mad at him anymore. They hadn’t been, really, since after the night they had found out about the test. That didn’t mean the punishment still wasn’t in effect, but the doms acted like everything else was normal.

Louis knew he had done wrong, he really did. Despite this, the sub couldn’t help but feel peeved about the situation. He would never be outwardly rude to his doms, but he still found other ways to make sure his feelings were known, mainly by acting distant while still retaining the politeness that was required of him.

“Louis,” Harry’s voice drew Louis away from his english essay, which he was putting the final touches on despite it being due almost two weeks from now. “What’ll it be tonight love, pasta or fajitas?”

The sub gave a small smile. “Whatever you’d like, Sir.”

Harry’s hand rubbed at his shoulder. “You don’t have a preference?”

“No Sir,” He answered, looking back at his computer screen, where his essay was on display.

The dom peered at the screen as well. “Is that your subculture essay? That’s not due till the sixteenth.”

Louis continued to type. “Yeah, m’just getting it done early.”

“Well,” Harry seemed to struggle with something. “Why don’t you take a break and help me with dinner, okay? It’ll give your eyes a break.”

Louis did so, both to appease his dom and due to the fact that Harry had been right about his eyes needing a break from the computer. Besides, normally on nights when Louis didn’t have footie, he would hang out in the kitchen with Harry while dinner was being made.

Harry had probably been missing that, just like Louis had been.

…

Later that night, after a dinner of fajitas, both of his doms asked to speak to him in the master bedroom.

Nick touched his cheek. “Harry and I have been talking, mostly about your punishment.”

Louis stared back at them silently as an indicator to go on.

“Well, you’ve pretty much caught yourself up in all of your courses now. You’ve even gone beyond our standards. Therefore, we both agree that this speaks loudly at the fact that you’ve handled your punishment very well.”

Harry touched the sub’s cheek. “To be honest, we also miss seeing your lovely smile. Louis love, you know why we had to punish you, right?”

“I do,” Louis nodded solemnly. “I hid my test from you, and then went behind your backs and lied.”

“Right,” Harry said. “I’m glad you understand. You’re no longer on any restrictions, so long as you maintain steady grades.”

“We also understand that outdoor footie season is almost over,” Nick added. “But winter signups for indoor footie are next week, and you have permission to join if you want.”

There were a lot of different emotions circulating in Louis’ head. While he was still upset at the fact that he’d had to miss the biggest game of the season, he was also ashamed of the way he’d handled his math test. Perhaps the consequences would have been less severe had he been open and honest.

He was also feeling very remorseful about dragging Niall into the situation. His friend had warned him, but Louis hadn’t listened. He was so desperate about staying on the team, but in the end that desperation was what put him in this situation.

This was the hardest Harry and Nick had ever been on him. It was clear that neither of them liked punishing him in such a way. Yes, they had been very angry the day they found out, but that anger had vanished by the next day. These past few weeks they had been nothing but loving, and it was Louis who had resisted that love.

Being a matched sub was still such a new concept for Louis. Sometimes it left him disgruntled, while other times it left him feeling like the happiest person alive. No matter what, one thing was clear. His doms loved him very much.

“That sounds nice,” He smiled tentatively at them, getting two warm smiles in return. “And I really am sorry. I promise I won’t ever go behind your backs like that again.”

“Everyone makes mistakes Lou,” Harry told him. “You’re forgiven- have been forgiven, ever since you talked to your coach. We both know how hard that must have been. Footie means a lot to you.”

“Yes it does,” Louis agreed. “But you guys mean more to me than any sport ever could.”

He spoke the truth.(If anyone thinks of other fics I removed from my ao3, feel free to reach out and I’ll post them on tumblr!) 

[vettelcore]

i read your post about opinions on drivers and the tags on that post. i'm shook i don't know anything about spanish politic but i speak spanish so spill the tea on sainz sis, i'm curious 🍵🍵

(I had a bible written here about the political situation in spain because I felt chatty but OF COURSE my laptop had to freeze and I lost everything I had written lol)

Anyways, gonna give a kick summary of spanish politics

- Up until 2015, spanish only had two main political parties: PP (right wingers) and PSOE (started as socialists, now they’re centrists)

- Before the 2015 elections, two other big parties showed up: Ciudadanos/C’s (like I said on the other post, self identified liberals and centrists, actually fascism with a touch of progresism masked up as a cool thing for younger people) and Podemos (sociodemocrats)

- Ciudadanos is lead by Albert Rivera. They were nobodies in Catalonia until the independence thing, and they started to get popular because they defended the unity of Spain, opposed to independentism and anything that isn’t ESPAÑÑÑÑÑOL enough for them, and want to impose the spanish language and culture over all the other cultures and different languages and traditions we have all over the country (which btw there are A LOT bc Spain is super diverse, we have 4 official recognised languages and many more non-recognised ones).

- C’s is basically a fearmongering party, whose main voters are

- All in all, they’re just ultranationalists, closer to fascism than centrism and that have just started using feminism and LGTB as a way to look more “progressive” when literally every body single person knows that they hate women and sexual minorities just as much as any other right wing party

if you have any more questions about spanish politics ask away lol elections are only a few days away so there’s a lot of stuff happening lately

Anyways, about Carlos now:

The only politicians that he follows on Twitter are:

- Albert Rivera and Inés Arrimadas (members of Ciudadanos). He also has liked some tweets from Rivera talking shit about catalonia lol

- Donald Trump. I’ve had people tell me that this doesn’t mean anything, because “he might only want to laugh at him guysssseeee” like… lmao yeah, sure, that’s probably why :)

He also follows some “troll” twitter accounts run by homophobic, mysoginist and racists men

And this might not even make sense since you’re not from spain and familiar with its politics, but even before I decided to check his follow list, he always gave me this “frat boy” type of vibes. Like, for example, how much he uses the spanish flag EVERYWHERE. Using the spanish flag here has always been a taboo thing (except during international football matches lol). If you come to Spain, and see someone with a spanish flag bracelet, or has the spanish flag anywhere on their bodies/cars/wtv, run away from them because they’re fascists. And Carlos even makes his dog wear a spanish flag collar lol

I also just found this trying to find a pic of his dog, that’s someone asking him if he got that dog because he hunts, or only because he liked the breed, and he answered “both!” (big big big big big big yikes from me dawg)

he also has a huge spanish flag hanged on his room (like who the fuck does that lmaooo) and during the Catalunya GP (two? years ago) when the independence thing was wayy more relevant and things in spain were very rocky politically because of it (and many other things), he posed with the spanish flag, and when people gave him shit about it, he came out saying that “theres nothing wrong with being proud of your country and showing our flag”, months after hundreds of catalans were beaten up by the police, a group of gang rapists got freed from jail, while another group of Vasque people are still on jail after being accused of terrorism for a bar fight. Totally reasons to be proud of this country!! Wow Viva España you guys

this is the post I originally made some months ago, I probably mentioned more shit here that I forgot about so you can give it a read if you feel like it after this wall of text i just wrote hahah

after all, he comes from a rich family. He’s just another posh kid who has never had to face any inconveniences on his entire life, just another privilaged frat tier boy who thinks that leftists = bad because they want to steal my tootbrush and has never set a foot outside of his rich boy bubble and likes murdering animals as a sport. Nothing to be surprised about, but also nothing I want to support

Maybe “fascists” is a word too big for him. In spanish we have the wonderful word “facha”, which is like a pejorative name for right wingers and conservatives but that are not full on “Arriba España, viva Franco, muerte a todos los inmigrantes, moros y sudacas y viva el hombre español” like supporters of parties like VOX. But these fachas are still pretty fucking shitty people who put Spain over everything else and support actual fascists

[gurguliare]

DVD: that one scene from your fic about Dirhaval, with the elf lady and the two of them being really intent with each other over the fire. "Do you love me" et cetera. I hope that makes sense I'm on mobile.

omg IT DOES although since that fic barely has scene divisions I’m going to take this excuse to do… a lot of it.

“I have remembered something,” she added, inconsequentially. “My aunt’s husband was Guilin’s steward. Everyone in my family hated him because he always making up to us with stories about the great princes. He said that Gwindor and Finduilas fought much over the Adanedhel’s love for her.”

I… I love this OC. She’s not even a box of rocks, she’s like, a box with one rock in it. Selectively dense; elsewhere, airheaded.

Dírhaval considered the fish with great interest. He had been told triumph lent him a fierce expression. He had no wish to scare his friend off now.

I can’t remember if @crocordile​ and I had a conversation before or after I wrote this about Dirhavel being like, not necessarily a big but an energetic guy who’s frequently seen around the camps doing SUPER WEIRD athletic shit to see if some of the feats he attributes to Turin were physically possible—anyway, whatever the timing, that concept was what I was psychically tuned into when I wrote this description. He has a beard and it bristles despite his best efforts to keep it trimmed.

“Raised voices—he overheard—Gwindor said, ‘Why does he seek you out, and sit long with you, and come ever more glad away?’ And that was true, I remember; they sat together in all kinds of places, on the terraces, in the treasury, and even by the earthworks for the bridge. No doubt he told her much you would be glad to know. But as for me, I think Gwindor a fool; few men would have loved her for listening. It reminds them what they hold dear in themselves.”

It was really hard for me to strike what seemed like a reasonable balance between hearsay and direct observation, but I leaned on the idea that Nargothrond, though huge, was not like, “modern city space” huge, more “sprawling overdeveloped apartment complex and you need a permit to go above ground”—so in five years and with perfect memory, everyone has a decent chance of stumbling on everyone else’s attempts at fresh air.

“That’s true,” he said. The first time he had interviewed her, she had spoken for an hour about the cavern of assembly, like an egg on its side—but so vast!—and with stalactites Finrod himself had sung down into pillars, or was it that he had worn holes in the walls parting small caves, she couldn’t decide; and the window on the river, whence a grey light came, like a shadow thrown on the gliding light of a thousand lamps and torches.

I think this description of the great hall is kind of cute but I have to acknowledge it was influenced, consciously or subconsciously, by the great hall in the Rats of Nimh.

And now when she spoke it was matter-of-fact and with hardly a jibe at her uncle. She was Túrin to him in that moment with her straight-sloping neck, the flushed skin of her neck and jaw with her face as fair as fair could stay at sunset, the cupful of shadow under her chin. He had burned the roof of his mouth. The fish was tender, almost flavorless, flaking between his teeth like a cake of river-flesh; a little muddy, even, as all water here was. He ate the crisped-black skin for a whiff of charcoal, which coated his mouth. “Don’t you love me, your loyal hearer?”

She gave him a startled wink; and smiled, and smiled.

Okay, so yes. I do love this moment, I hope it does a lot of things at once; basically I want 1) Dirhavel to be ironic in a nice way about his elf friend attempting to invent the term “emotional labor,” which reflects both a male impatience with this attempt to generalize everything to men talking women’s ears off, but also some vague species-based edginess about him trying to construct this human story out of testimony from elves, and like, navigating elves’ possessiveness of Turin but also the way they patronize him in the same breath, Adanedhel. And at the same time having to confront the fact that people are people and the elf-human boundary has gotten increasingly blurry with the end times, however much he might want to retain a sense of lofty apartness, whether as a human among elves, a writer among subjects, a man among women, whatever—that tension between observer distance and involuntary empathy is another big theme of this fic. And 2) I want the cook to catch it but not quite get it—like, she knows he’s making fun of her but she doesn’t necessarily interpret it in the same way he does, what she gets is that he’s talking about the limits of different kinds of love, that you can love someone and it can still go just so far: that’s why it triggers her next thought about Finduilas –> Turin.

“I do not think Finduilas loved the Mormegil either. Or, that is, I believe they loved one another as sister and brother.”

I said this in my commentary on an otherwise VERY different LOGH fic but I love when characters are wrong. Every time. Also, I love childish oversimplifications that have good reason for existing—that is, I like when you can really see why a character would with all their heart want to believe x, because the alternative is both messy and depressing.

Trying to lick his fingers clean just spread around the soot. Among the things she had told Dírhaval was that she was an only child. But he was inclined to believe her, almost. To Finduilas Túrin should have been a child. She must have wanted to love him like a brother—it would have been best, by far clearer and finer, to love him as a brother, even when her death walked near. The death he handed her down to; but if they were kin, it would have been her right to love him, blaming him.

“Do you not agree?”

Dirhavel takes this basically as like, confirmation for his thesis that all real love is irrational and unconditional (see also Gwindor wanting Finduilas and Túrin to be happy at his own expense, a few lines down) but only familial love has the “excuse” to be so. So the distinction is not, “would I love him whatever he did to me,” but rather, “do I feel fucked up and guilty about that fact or not.” In a vague way, this is supposed to set up the extremely bleak lines he gives Nienor after she gets her memory back: twice beloved.

“I can’t say.” Up again to pace. She followed him, basket on her arm, and settled onto her haunches when she saw he had no journey in mind. He stood when he performed, which was not hard, but it made him more restless when alone.

See above remarks about Dirhavel’s acrobatics, and also maaybe his ADHD

“I think—by the time—no, Túrin did not love her, and as for Finduilas, well, surely she cared for Gwindor? If they argued. Let’s see. And Túrin pursued her at last and fell in a swoon on her grave, we know that. And he loved Gwindor; how not, when Gwindor was with him at Ivrin? But Gwindor—I suppose—Gwindor must have hated him. No. He must have hoped Túrin loved Finduilas, and that was why he couldn’t be persuaded of the truth. For he would have wanted her to be happy, in the end.”

“Oh, no!”

His mood tipped down at once. “Oh no,” he agreed, and took his sandals off and stepped into the stream.

Again, I just think this interaction is fun. I mean I like the placement of his realization about Gwindor, but I LOVE the cook being like “oh no!! that’s so sad!” I hope other people enjoy “stories about the process of idiotic sadstuck brainstorming” as much as I do.

His mother had said once that both he and his father were happier than other men, but that they had no ballast, to keep steady the craft. If he took on an ounce of grief he’d sink, and yet he felt the flood almost as freedom. It made him more the master than had his dry, feckless race, his high-riding. As long as he struggled he had yet to succumb; that was the rule for a wasted night. He ought to go beg a bowl of sour milk from Linnor, or go and sing a service for the king. He could see as far as a night of stars.

I wanted to communicate a particular kind of mood downturn here where you can still clearly remember being happy, and the rising tide of discontent isn’t overwhelming on its own, it’s just depressing because you know where it leads—but for the same reason it’s also a relief, in that you know where it leads. Whereas joy is weird and easy to get lost in and you never know when the plug will be pulled. But I’m not sure the boat metaphor really works.

But it was day, it was red evening. It was his companion’s grief, filling his mind from above. She crouched and watched the far bank huge-eyed, not a tear in evidence, eyes opened but sealed, as it seemed, against sadness that strove for entry, not escape; she sat with wide mouth cracked, nostrils flared, sucking in great absent sniffs of sea-wind. She was besieged as an afterthought, safe and calm except besieged.

I also wanted to include some telepathy! As always! Dirhaval I imagine to be something of a natural, who probably has had some experience with elf mind-speech at this point—enough to recognize it but not really to manage it. I like this description of the cook in pain, I think it works well with her established personality and also evokes Nargothrond itself, which is of course the thing she’s actually grieving for. I mean, and she identifies it with Gwindor, reasonably enough, and takes unhappy pride in him as a lord of Nargothrond, and in this moment is kind of shot through herself not just with the fact of his defeat but the like, honorable necessity of his defeat, knowing that on some level he accepted it.   

(Gwindor surely wished Finduilas joy. Finduilas, dying, remembered Túrin, and told him where his quest should end. The feathered tops of the reeds glowed on dark stems, like a fire in a field of reeds—there before nightfall he planted for ever the standards of the Noldor and their unsheathed swords, kindling in the dawn.)

I’m so proud of this stupid line lol, it’s just the reverse of Tolkien’s—“The light of the drawing of the swords of the Noldor was like a fire in a field of reeds”—but I LOVE THAT LINE, it’s so perfect for Dirhaval as an author and Sirion as a place of memory/last battlefront/first battlefront for this long war. And its conclusion, still to come.

He washed his hands and greasy beard in the river. “Your fish will be cold,” he advised. He had abandoned hope of dinner until she brought it, but that was no reason to encourage bad habits in her.

Dumb friends. Dumb friends are great because they are attuned to the hazards of stupidity, and can help each other.

Then he had to pick some scales out of his teeth, and couldn’t elaborate, but he heard her uncover the basket, anyway.

He had met her before with a handful of salt, pressing a few grains to her mouth to check their purity. “Dírhaval,” she said wisely, mouth full. “Dírhaval, I have forgotten how to cook.” Meaning she had no spices, witched ovens, and trained assistants—maybe, with her, it really was as though she had forgotten; at least it was something else she had lost.

Yeah… the focus on memory in this is another unexpected link to the LOGH fic uh, an inevitable byproduct of writing about a historian, and it’s also supposed to reflect that loss of separation between elves and men, since so much of what distinguishes elves is… their wealth of resources, psychological and material. And the material resources are essential to and interwoven with the psychological resilience, as noted here, so I really wanted to capture that sense that *not having* all the wonderful things she used to have baffles her as much as a hole in her memory. Because the default is that you keep everything forever, right? Another feeling which is not unique to elves. God I love………………………… “people.”  

[justherefortaylorswift]

there’s glitter on the floor after the party...

Taylor,

*About 9 days ago, on May 22nd, 2018, I had just arrived home from your Seattle show at CenturyLink Field. It was 4am and I couldn’t sleep. I had so much on my mind and was still on a high from your show. So, in the early hours of the morning, after my friends had long gone to bed, I began to write. I’ve revised my original note quite a bit since then. I’ve also had the opportunity to do some additional reflecting since tour, and I have some thoughts. So, I guess this is the end-result of a mash-up of 4AM overly-emotional rambling, combined with well thought-out, fully coherent, mature writing. I feel like I really over-explained this. I could have been a lot less-awkward in setting this up. Let's just get into it:

[SO. I just got home from your Seattle show. It's 4 am and I can't sleep. This was my 6th tour, and I made what seems like an infinite amount of unforgettable memories with a group of incredible people I call my ‘Swiftie Fam” (the name needs work...). There's Cecil (my long-time, Canadian Swiftie friend, you’ll see him in earlier posts), Wanda (Cecil’s wife), Kaeden (7. Cecil & Wanda’s son. Major Swiftie. His first concert!), and finally the beautiful Maile (a recent addition to the fam, and now a life-long friend!).  It’s hard to explain in words, but we all have developed a connection that’s special and unique because of what we experienced together. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to stand by my side tonight. We danced, laughed, and cried together… I don’t think I’ve ever felt more understood. These people ‘get’ me.

Not surprisingly, I screamed every single lyric at the top of my lungs and subsequently lost my voice almost IMMEDATIELY. With that in mind, I suppose a more accurate description would be: I wasn’t so much singing, as I was gasping for the remainder of the show. I literally danced with until I was out of breath. I cried (ok, SOBBED) all of my make-up off (a Long Live/NYD mash-up… are you kidding me?! I FEEL ATTACKED). 

By the end of the night, I resembled a pathetic, overly-emotional, glittery, drowned rat.

and I was living my absolute best life.

Also, I was REALLY proud of our outfits this time around! I think we did a decent job of recreating your Direct TV commercial, with my rainbow two-piece, and Cecil’s interpretation of Olivia Benson dressed as a Caticorn (I can’t say I ever thought I’d use that in a sentence). It consisted of around 8-10 hours total of gluing, painting, and hand-sewing, leading up to the show. Everything turned out awesome, way better than expected. Totally worth the man hours! Wanda hand-made matching these adorable matching t-shirts for her and little Kaden (Big Rep & Little Rep), and Maile constructed a beautiful MASTERPIECE from the mountain LYWMMD outfit- it was freakin’ incredible and HOT!

There was something a bit different about this tour for a couple of reasons:

[The production.] I don’t think I’ve experienced such sensory-overload in my LIFE. The whole time it was like a constant stream of frantic, internal dialogue with a lot of run-on sentences, like, “WHAT IS HAPPENING SHE’S GIVING US CHOREO OMG YAAASSS WERK HONEY IF A MAN TALKS SHIT WE DON'T OWE HIM A DAMN THING OH MY GOD ITS RAINING CONFETTI I MUST COLLECT IT I HOPE THESE MULTI-COLORED FLASHING LIGHTS DON’T GIVE ME AN EPILEPTIC ATTACK WHERE THE F-CK DID THESE GIGANTIC SNAKES COME FROM THERE ARE LITERALLY STAGES EVERYWHERE I’M OVERWHELMED OH SHIT SHES PULLING A SPEAK NOW BY WALKING THROUGH THE CROWD WHAT'S GOING ON OH GOD F-CKING FIREWORKS THESE VOCALS ARE LIT THO I'M SWEATING I’M DEFINITELY GONNA NEED THERAPY AFTER THIS NEW YEARS DAY/LONG LIVE MASH UP IS THAT A FOUNTAIN WHATS HAPPENING OH GOD IT’S REAL WATER AND SHE’S IN THE FOUNTAIN I’M HAVING A 2008 SHOULD’VE SAID NO ACM AWARDS FLASHBACK MOMENT HOLY SH-T MORE F-CKING FIREWORKS SO MUCH PYRO IS THIS EVEN LEGAL” I’ve gotta say, you have BEST band (Paul, Amos and Mike..OGS), vocalists (Eliott and Kamilah…the TALENT), and all the dancers. Every single person on that stage was on FIRE, and their talent, passion, and individual personalities made the night sparkle.

[The fans.] I freaking adore this fan culture. I’ve never met a Swiftie who wasn’t ridiculously friendly, welcoming, and super relatable. The vibe was so positive. I’ve never smiled, waved and taken pictures with so many random strangers in my life. It felt as if we were literally in a different world that day. It felt like home.

[YOU!.]  We need to talk about this major GLO UP you’ve got going on, honey. You exude SO much confidence and you're just pure sunshine. When I think about the way you’ve carried yourself these past couple of years through all of the BS drama, I can’t help but feel damn proud. You’ve successfully converted pain into art, into music. Real music, that’s poignant, raw, and just BAD ASS. Your lyrics continue to foster a special connection you maintain with the audience...a connection that often times breathes life into brokenness.

I felt like the luckiest girl in the entire world tonight. 

This may have been my best concert experience ever, which is actually pretty ironic because:

Unlike Red, I wasn’t in the Pit

I didn’t have VIP seating, like 1989

You weren’t close enough for any potential high fives, waves, or eye contact like I experienced at Speak Now at B-Stage

We were not chosen for Rep Room (or T-Party, Club Red, or Loft 89)

…But, it was OK. It was way more than OK. It was truly a dream.

Listen: Something I've always deeply admired about you is that you make it a priority to maintain a personal relationship with the fans.  It’s clear you want to meet as many of us as possible, and you make a conscious effort to do so. You get to know us as individuals and you CARE, and that means everything us and makes such an impact. I mean, you invite us into your HOME for crying out loud, you walk through massive crowds and give high-fives, you lurk our Instagrams and Tumblrs and interact on social media, and you always make a notable effort to meet as many of us as possible at tour.

However, this can sometimes turn into a bit of a "Catch 22" situation for people. The downside, is that it’s honestly SUPER easy to fall into the “trap” of being consumed with the possibility of meeting you after your shows. Due to the fact that the “selection” process is both intentional, yet also random. To be transparent, it's quite difficult to not obsess with the idea of ‘trying’ to get chosen. I witness this behavior so often, in others and in myself just as much, if not more. Selfishly, I often feel not only jealous, but UPSET when I see photos/read experiences of other fans meeting you. I sometimes feel like the only one who hasn’t yet gotten the opportunity.  It can quickly turn into a mind-game if you're not careful, which has the potential to become toxic if we allow the idea of meeting you to rule supreme over what it's actually about...which is the MUSIC. And, this amazing show you put on for us night after night. And somewhat understandably so, I've witnessed the obsession with being chosen to meet you become a main focus point for a lot of us (including myself a bit!). It's pretty stressful, and can easily dampen or cheapen the concert experience, if you're not careful. As dramatic as this probably sounds, Tumblr (and social media) can be brutal within this fandom, and dare I say ‘cut-throat’ at times. It's easy to get upset watching (what seems like) literally EVERYONE get that opportunity, except you. 

That said, I had a wake-up call/mini-epiphany recently, which manifested while driving home from your show at Midnight on May 22nd with my friends, feeling so amazing and so grateful for what I just experienced…but also a little guilty because I feel like I’ve spent way too much time worrying about the possibility of meeting at you when you come to Seattle, how to get the attention of Taylor Nation, where to find Mama Swift, getting that guitar pick from Papa Swift, and this time was no different. Granted, my intentions are 100% pure and it’s only because you’ve meant so freakin much to me for so many years, and it's almost as if my life won’t be complete until I finally get to tell you in person. That said, there is certainty a valuable lesson to be learned here. I am confident that you and I will come face-to-face one day (hopefully with my Swifie fam!). The stars will align at the exactly the right time, and I will have my moment with you, and it will be SO worth the wait. You can't "force" stuff like this, you know? The privilege of meeting you is almost ‘sacred’ in a sense. At least in my opinion. Anyway, my point is: I refuse to a continue to attempt to “create fate” by attempting to "earn" my worthiness in fandom. It’s not productive, it's not healthy, and it’s not cute.

Alright, this is getting out of hand. I need to wrap this up. 🤣 I’m not sure whether or not you’ve seen any of my throwback photo-posts I posted the week leading up to the show. They definitely explain a lot more about me, and my history being a fan. Either way, I must reiterate how grateful I am to have you in my life, and that support you 100% and will always be here. The amount of hope, joy and comfort you've given me over the past 10+ years is insurmountable, and I'll never be able to repay you for that. And I mean that in the most sincere way. Not a lot of things make me as happy as you make me (especially lately). This experience was the ‘boost’ I needed, I think. And like I said, the relationship I have with my friends/Swiftie Fam is invaluable, and I look forward to making memories with them at your shows in the future. You’ve brought the most random group of people together and created a bond that’s unique, unconditional and unbreakable, and I think that’s so cool.

This was A LOT longer than I originally intended it to be. This escalated quickly. Haha. Thanks for listening. 💗

Don’t read the last page…]

Love you, T

Crystal

@taylorswift

@taylornation

@ceunit

@maileswiftie

[photos]:  1) The whole crew: Cecil, Wanda, Kaeden, Maile and myself at our seats. 2) Kaeden the night before the show. SO EXCITED!! 3) Testing out the Caticorn onesie w/ Cecil 4) Cecil and myself FULLY DECKED and ready to go. 5) Wanda and Kaeden: Big Rep & Lil’ Rep! 6) the girls! Maile, Wanda and Me pre-show 7) Us at the end of the show! And yes, that’s me in the middle..in disbelief, exhausted, sweaty, and a physical and emotional wreck (see also: ‘drowned rat’ description above). 8) All of us after the show literally in a hotel lobby (and glitter on the floor after the party!), waiting for traffic to die down before we headed home.

[teehagshop]

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Senate he makes Bernie Sanders look like he’s a Maybe I Was Too Late To Be His First But Right Now I'm Happy Proud To Be His Last This Girl Loves Her Corpsman Flowers T Shirt conservative even supporters to donate to a fine to bailout rioters in Minneapolis with AdSense problems until the National Guard when in and a stock would you say that. The international aftermath Museum at get set off much like the country as a whole we step out from the shadows of our past and begin a delay the groundwork for a more just future it will be easy we can only succeed if people follow it together so we will need a president who sees unified people as a requirement of the job at president go understand the true meaning of community now to build it through trust and humility and is so many families experience a loss in this pandemic lost jobs lost loved ones lost cabinets in the president to keep us safe we need a president who understands both profound loss and what it takes to bounce back but more important than his first hand experience with loss and hardship is his ability to translate that perspective into policy and solutions and prioritize hard working people and persistent Bobbitt account is over partisan politics or personal gain that’s why asked Dan but Joe and why he will always be an adopted son of South Carolina Joe Biden is as good a man as he is. This is the coat which is nice but that’s a nice upgrade to the video source of the four Spidermanand here’s the last of the spider people so I got Spiderman 2099 so this is Spiderman from the future so he’s okay but is also lanky body like it’s a little too skinnyand happy to have this character but I felt spider he suffers from some of the same issues as well like it’s nice figure like this character but you see there is presumably a double jointed knees these figures are just maybe a little too small to handle all of articulation makes them look a little wonkyand the number two of the spider woman there so I get the the original spider one who is a theater near youand I also get the second letter which is Julia Carpenterand others figure here most the discoloration on the chest there she should be pretty stark blackand white but she’s got dusty gray paint job great so as far as comparisons go so I do having Spiderman 2099 which I think is better although he also suffers a little bit from the Omega little to gangly stroke spider in a nice agenda of him as welland a pretty similar to nice upgradeand usand Valerie had a merger The toilet is one can see how via matches upand then also gets a new upgrade of the original spider woman this is a different costume this is a classic caution were this is one of the more contemporary looks which that might bother some people but she’s not fair to Carol that much aboutand not like the question classic in a great costume this is kind of a trendy costume I see this lesson she’s already moved on from the Chillingworth year or so but I call it the look of it so I don’t mind that’s my my 6 inch version of herand then also for Julia Carpenter by one of the nice new version of her response much nicer the colors are much better so you think all of these characters here I have some nice new upgrades of okay so let’s move on some spider villains so here you give it to versions of the lizardand two versions of the rhino now the first of lizard is based on his stupid look from the amazing Spiderman movie you know it is what it is maybe five I look but it doesn’t look at the lizard but I grew up with the apartment to accept the body is because they had made this lizard yetand I can’t follow one of the members of lizard in my collection of his give me the something about but then again it is one later in this one is much closer to the classic lizard although yet he still like a crocodile or something I do admit I really have a soft spot for the configuration of your earlier this that here you can’t simple but this cow looks the most like how the lizard first appeared in the early early in the spider account books for simple this is one of the is overand I figure right now I think this one first this one is a little more contemporary stylized version of rhino is pretty bigand bulky for the cool figure but then is for classic rhino down the roadand it was pretty nice but bulky the I found that when the bigger characters because they actually work better in this scale because he didn’t suffer from her arms like being so skinny that they couldn’t handle the articulation like is felt by the thought that these guys here at the big guys are really nice in the three through quarter scale never comparisons Marvel legends both of these guys came out to build the figures for the quite big so here is the Marvel legends lizard that he’s pretty nice articulated tail what’s my scope detail in their big crazy tongueand I like this figure lot but sort of like how this counseling alligator this guy look like a dinosaur to meand lizard what has changed over the years but I still have a thought fought for that the web’s classic book as well the rhino usability figure PC here he’s quite big he’s probably easily 7 inches tall moreand what detail he executed two heads so we had ahead Alexa very similar to this yelling head of the classic mastery his whole face but I wanted to display what this more contemporary look with your award for short time but I was only rhino figures over the years with that is openface look like a virus nice change of pace that one of the accident is cooler here are some more Spiderman villains I paired these get together Primus just because they’re green so the first we’ve got these corking now you might be thinking this does not look like the scorpion because this is figures actually based on the ultimate scorpion so he fought the open Spiderman and alternate reality which was similar to the regular changes for example the scorpion was not Max Gergen but was actually a clone of Peter Parker so I was there were preferred to have a classic scorpion but that the same time via the alternate universe had like a cool conceptand ideas dyslexic cool costumeand so you glad I got this blood would’ve preferred to get a classic scorpion on with it seems the only scorpion also electric there that’s a lecture classic costume so here’s electroand you may notice himand hello time you need us to stand up straight is a good time to mention one of the nice things will this line is that prenatal figures came with display bases plug the feed into the baseand it would save her name right on base is pretty niceand I wish that the criminal is blinded some similar to their always phone over but anyway this is a nice looking class electro my only issue is that if the with any of these in the figures you get some weird articulation which is either that joint in the middle of his torso to the quite line up rating high joint permit for a little bit put them back to that weird pagan there that happened a lot with this line but sculpting while designwise he looks really nice now for vulture as I said with a scope of the vulture I really like the of the look of his face there is old nasty looking got both horrible horrible that this figure is the wings with a look pretty good wine like that was either just taking the very shallow Lopez like thatand anytime returns are so from a fallout is very frustrating so I found in the distance plan like this now it is the old man green unitardand not the coolest is next to Dr Octopus now this Dr for skin might not look like Dr Fisher used to public scorpion this is based on the ultimate Dr Octopus in which case he was a little bit leanerand you costume like this is a little more contemporary lookingand with this one I didn’t really mind that I can ultimate Dr Octopus because I was never a big fan of Dr at Forsyth County was frumpyand boring looking so actually liked when they made him a little bit to more menacing in the ultimate universe so as far as comparisons go this electro hereand displayed with this head which is kind of a more modern look for the electric both tattooed on his face her daughters face I think because a lot of artist is fine this electricity crazy masculine goofy looking but at least they did include that head is an option Alexa chosen display in the more modern head but the find the classic it didn’t just it doesn’t look costume black pant Hopefully we get a fully classic collector in the future this is pretty nice except I don’t like that they didn’t do you alternate hands so you only have hands of his electric power should the tool frustrating if he just was standing around overall not to bet culture just got him recently is he’s pretty cool work better but a whole other things fall at the latest plug into as welland he had two heads to display the wealthy of the classic ball go ahead but is the rhino of so many gumball vultures over the years the company was messes for this difference cow head He was a another figure is not too long ago so this is more of a classic frumpy dog are fiber correctly I think be from this figures tentacles were articulated so you cannot just throw plug myselfand just stuck with them how the proposed Christmas he can’t even to the wires to twistedand Leslie scorpion know this scorpion figure is based on the Mac garden look it’s not the ultimate scorpion so that he does have a nice articulated tail can pull this I wish that the samples were similarlyand the best figure preferred when he has an open face he can see the flesh around the nose rather than to be pants all green was best so next to another forced by villains starting with the shopper on my personal favorite villainsand this is a decent figure but super excited Craig Hunter accident this is one of the best figures from the line just a lot of nice scope detail this line mean is vessel food

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Another you either love everybody you hate everybody is universal now you can dislike the shit out of somebody yet like Sean Jean I got love for Sean King but I don’t like him I like him at all but when he says things that are true I have to agree with Mark Zuckerberg Bill Gates their humans and I love all people I don’t hate these men I just strongly dislike them so much so that out be happy to join the firing squad that executes them because they need to be stopped and they’re rubbing the evil in our faces like this right now and I’m starting to realize because I said some pretty hateful things about these people because for a Maybe I Was Too Late To Be His First But Right Now I'm Happy Proud To Be His Last This Girl Loves Her Corpsman Flowers T Shirt while I did hate them but I started to realize. It’s about how it’s about telling and what you say it is almost impossible to imagine that it is really a monthly seen outpourings of the good wishes for the present from leaders all around the world but also behind the scenes I would assume that depending on some concern will any of our adversaries try to take advantage of this moment in under there is a minor concern that there are six place and not feel vulnerable I talk is a very senior military officials today said everything is normal everything is in place but I will also try social things that are true going on in twitter about launching doomsday aircraft and things like that so those rulers that we certainly don’t want out there because that they’re not true going on is normal there are not concerns right now for national security North Korea is not and essentially launching the seller or Iran try to take some move while the president inside in the hospital because the systems are in place today because both of those helicopters now flying very close. Said that they want Biden to have that opportunity they think it struggle with the Bible say that’s his real chance to build a relationship to that audience they believe there are still some unconvinced voters out there that want to hear from Joe by the issues like his plan for coronavirus’s plan to help rebuild the economy going for as for some of my abilities as a relates a hunter via this advisor tells me that sometimes your perceived vulnerability is actually potential strength that he should use that as an apathetic moment as he did in the first of a saying that he’s proud of his son on the issue of court happiness become so contentious with vines struggling in recent weeks is to come up with a real answer about how he would resolve that if he were to become president Biden earlier today and a cleverly 560 minutes trying to neutralize that controversial issue say that as president together a bipartisan commission to study issues related the court including the topic of formatting terminus of See Other Shirt: This Is My Step Ladder I Never Knew My Real Ladder Vintage Retro T Shirt