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#but damn we moved so much stuff it wore me out lmao and i didn’t even carry the heavy stuff 😭
libra-stellium · 6 months
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Visiting my Astrocartography Mars/MC line for a week
This is the description from astro.com which sounds like a great place to visit for me right now because I’m trying to either get promoted at my job or get a new job soon or both lol
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For some reason people really hate their mars line???? All I kept seeing was people saying how horrible it was when they lived on it or visited it 😭😭 I was like damn I had great expectations! I only saw one short YT video saying how they love living on their mars line and have been more active physically and socially. I heard someone say that the second they got off the plane they were just angry lmao which is hilarious to me like you were just angry at nothing??? 🤣 and I also saw stuff about how aggressive men were and they hated it lol I don’t think the ones I saw said what their mars placement is and what aspects they have but honestly even if we had the same exact ones I think it may be about perspective and what you’re used to lol
I have my mars in Scorpio in 9H. I have Mars trine saturn in pisces and mars trine ascendant in pisces so no harsh aspects.
A general theme for this week was very mars like bc I did Knott’s Berry Farm, Disneyland and Universal and visited so lots of walking and action the entire week!
Sunday - literally at the plane doors when I landed in LA a male flight attendant pretend to grab my leftovers from my hands like “oh is that for me? Thank you so much!” 😂😂 I was like oh this is the aggressive men on the mars line! But I just joked back at him lol
Monday - I broke EIGHT nails!!!!! 😭😩 one was like 🙄 but by 4 I was telling my bestie “would you believe me if I told you another one is gone?” And she knew immediately that I was talking about my nails 🤣 none of them broke too far down so it wasn’t painful and I don’t think my mars line “made” then break lol I think they were weak and being held together by my nail polish so when I took it off bc it was chipped my nails were like “it’s time to let go” 😩 everyone was super nice so nothing else happened that day! I didn’t bring my work phone with me so who knows what was happening at work 🤷🏾‍♀️
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Tuesday - i feel like there were some aggressive people throughout the day but not directed only at me lol bc it was the park workers at Disney just being like THIS IS A WALK WAY ONLY KEEP MOVING when we stopped to take pictures of the parade. I also found out that the shoes I wore the day before gave me a blister on the bottom of my toe which was so painful
Wednesday - I feel like this was the most mars line day tbh bc I got my period that morning and I did “surgery” on myself 😂 bc of where my blister was I had to pop it safely (TMI incoming) so I doordashed a first aid kit and a sewing kit and I sterilized the needle and drained the blister and it’s insane how the pain was gone right after that! Then I went to go visit the Observatory to see LA and the Hollywood sign and that was really cute but then a bee flew into my friend’s hair and she was freaking out and I’m allergic but I could see it so I had to do something so she didn’t get stung! I used my phone like a paddle and beat it out of her hair and it fell on the ledge in front of us and I pushed it off 😩 then we went to In-N-Out and some guy tried to take my order for his friend lol I was 7 and his friend was 12 and he was like oh I thought you said 12…..🙄 also on the day to the observatory I realized that I had a lot of requirements to fulfill before I could renew my bar license 💀 I deadass thought I just had to do the CLEs and pay but I have to find a mentor too?? 😩 so I was listening to the CLEs on the long car rides.
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Thursday - Another Mars/MC day because I was listening to more CLEs during car rides and I looked up who I could email and ask to be my mentor! I was at universal that day and nothing major mars like happened lol and honestly idk why aggressive men was something that people emphasized bc they were all really nice to me 😂 even the Grinch! This girl did have an attitude towards me while we were watching a show bc we were standing there for 30 min and she shows up and tries to stand in front of me and I’m 4’11 and she was at least 5’5?? And she motioned for her bf to come stand in front of me too and he refused and told her to come back and she was brooding the rest of the show 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️ After that our Lyft driver was so nice bc the app sent him to a different location than where the park told us to go get rides and he came and found us instead of canceling! 💕 and his car was so nice and smelled so good!
Friday - traveling day! Again dealing with really nice men 😂 bc I was in line for this place to get coffee and a pastry and the person skipped over me bc she couldn’t see me and the guy behind me was like “someone’s down here” 🤣🤣 and then later this other guy was just making small talk with me while we waited for our stuff lol but the cashier??? Who was a girl literally told me she wasn’t “spelling all that out” when I told her my name and spelled it out and she said I would have a nickname for the day 💀💀 my name is 5 letters long lmao she shortened it to 3? Like okay I guess?? 😂
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Now I’m home and I checked my work phone and nothing happened while I was gone but today they sent an email congratulating the intern (who was there for 4 months and is still in law school) for accepting an attorney position in our office and I’ve been there for 2.5 years and it did make me feel some type of way bc 🤔🤔🤔 no one offered even after I got barred but they offered it to the person who hasn’t completed the degree yet and doesn’t have a bar license yet…?? I have been trying to get out so 😂 I’m not toooooo mad bc also that’s not the field of work I want to be doing long term but idk it’s the principle lol also I don’t remember which day but I saw something about the federal cost of living being increased for 2024 and I think fed govt employees get a pay increase bc of that?? I’m hoping that contractors like me do too!
Overall: Mars/MC line was a fun little time and productive trip! I feel like if you’re quick to anger I can see where you’d end up being really angry on your mars line but I just be looking at people in disbelief tryna figure out what possessed them to act like that towards me and then I just laugh and move on lol I didn’t like LA that much it was way too crowded for me omg but I’m not a fan of New York either and I feel like they’re similar 🤷🏾‍♀️ I would definitely go back and visit other parts of California tho!!
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stinkrascal · 3 years
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its 6pm and i just woke up
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#good morning ladies theydies and males#me n bf helped our best friend move back into our town yesterday!! he lives like ten mins from our house now#and im so happy about that lmao now we can hang out more!! i missed him sm ;-;#i still miss our other best friend in colorado the group doesn’t feel the same without him but it’s nice that one of my friends is closer!!!#but damn we moved so much stuff it wore me out lmao and i didn’t even carry the heavy stuff 😭#i felt so bad for my bf and our best friend they had to carry so many heavy couches#but we got it done n our friend bought us mcdonalds coffee then we all ate dinner together!! it was rlly nice!!#and ofc we stopped by me and bf’s house too for a smoke sesh lmao 🥺 and i got to play w our best friend’s parents’ dogs!!!!!!!#so all and all a really fun day! but im so tired today now lmao#i got out of bed to take a shower and make one grilled cheese sandwich then immediately fell back asleep 😭#but still it’s been nice!! my bf has been so cute and sweet lately#i mean he’s always cute and sweet but more so than usual!!! doubly cute and sweet 🥺#our 5 year anniversary is on the 23rd n im excited about that!! he’ll be at the dorms by then unfortunately ;( but we’re celebrating#our anniversary this weekend so it’ll be nice!!#idk im in a good mood today which is funny bc i was in a terrible mood this entire week but oh well i’ll accept the positive change!!!!!#i might go continue decorating vlad n brie’s weed farm or maybe i’ll play skyrim or maybe i’ll take another nap hmmm i haven’t decided#just a day in the life of an obviously very busy layabout gf
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Note
Thanks for answering my last ask about the requests! 🥰
If possible I'd like to request something: male reader is Steve Roger's adopted son (adopted after he came back from being frozen lmao) and the reader is secretly dating Peter Parker!
I don't know if it's too specific or too complicated, but I was imagining something like: reader is like an avenger too. He doesn't have powers but has fighting skills and is a very sneaky and swift fighter much like Black Widow. He fights occasionally but his father is always hesitant on letting him participate in highly dangerous missions, he's very protective of his son. That would all just be like background information just give the story some base, but the plot itself i was thinking was just about Steve discovering his son is dating Peter - and, with that, discovering reader is gay - and he gets protective, possibly interrogates Peter and stuff like that. Obviously very fluffy at the end with everyone happy but I guess you can just work on it how you think it's best! If it's too vague or too complex I can try to rewrite the request if you'd like ☺️
Maybe Steve discovers that during a mission! I think that would be interesting - if you like it of course!
Plot: Requested
Pairing: Steve Rogers & Son reader + Peter Parker x Male reader
Y/n: Your name
N/n: Nickname
H/c: Hair color
Warnings: Fighting, cursing, blood, protective dad TM Steve, character injury, coming out, supportive Steve, adopted reader, fluff, slight angst, kinda Steve’s POV
Word count: 1236
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Being the son of Steve Rodger’s, aka Captain America had never been an easy feat. He had adopted Y/n after he got out of the ice, needing someone to have in the complete mystery the world was to him. He immediately loved the spunky boy, who was outspoken and reminded him of his younger self.
On many occasions’ Y/n came home with bruises littering his body, but a boyish smile adorned on his lips. The boy just seemed to find trouble without even trying, so Steve decided to teach his son how to fight. It was quite a surprise when Y/n was a complete natural, able to take his father down after a few weeks of training.
The teenage boy’s confidence only seemed to grow with training and fighting, and much to Steve’s displeasure his son ended up joining the avengers. It was one of the only times the father and son argued, going from screaming at each other to the silent treatment for days.
Steve had to admit, his son could kick some serious ass, even beating Clint during a spar, leaving the assassin on the mat groaning in pain and eventually tapping out. Then came in Peter parker, in all his geeky glory, immediately drawing his son’s attention. Steve was hesitant about the boy; he didn’t want Peter causing more trouble for Y/n in the long run.
The father couldn’t deny that his son seemed happier when Peter came into his life, spending most of his time with the young genius and his friends. It was like a moth to a flame, Y/n gravitated towards the boy in a way Steve couldn’t place a word to. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think his son was enamored with Parker. He promptly reminded himself that his son wasn’t gay (There was no issue if he was though) Steve just assumed his son would tell him if that was the case.
That belief was completely changed on a mission though, Y/n and Peter accompanied the team, taking down one of the last HYDRA bases that was left. He had to admit that the kids were holding up well, he could see his son flying around, adorned in all black, including the black mechanical wings on his back. Y/n had made those himself, claiming that they needed more air support than just Tony, Rhodey and Sam.
Every time Steve watched Y/n fly around he felt his heart jump out of his chest, he knew his son could handle himself, but damn it, it was a paternal instinct. “How are we looking up there?” Steve called over the comms, watching as the three flying beings fought off any air support, and diving down to help when needed.
“Well pops judging by the fact that we’re all heading towards the ground for support I’d day good.” Came his sons sarcastic reply, and Steve had to hold back a small smirk. Usually, he’d reprimand someone for talking like that, but Y/n was a special case.
“N/n could you head my way, kinda getting swamped over here.” Parker’s high pitched and young voice rang through the comms, and Steve watched as his beloved son took off once more. He could hear the two young superhero’s grunting and making banter back and forth over the comms as the fight continued.
What took the captain off guard was the sound of his son crying out in pain and the panicked sound of Peter calling out “Y/n!” It felt like someone had grabbed his heart and ripped it out of his chest as he heard Peter call “We have an agent down! Y/n’s down!” Never in Steve’s many years of life did he move as fast as he was right now. Anyone who got in his was down before they could even raise their weapon.
When he saw Peter cradling Y/n against his chest, fingers brushing through his son’s H/c hair, the panic only worsened. The mask Y/n wore was ripped off, lying on the ground beside him; and Steve could clearly see the blood leaking from his son’s side.
As the super soldier got closer, he could hear Peter rambling quietly. “It’s okay baby, I know it hurts.” The teenagers voice sounded so broken; it made his chest tighten even more. “Your dads coming and then we’ll get you to med bay, you’ll be good as new.” He reassured Y/n. Steve couldn’t even bring himself to care when Peter leaned down and pressed a kiss to Y/n’s lips, giving the other boy a tight smile.
From there everything felt like a blur, Steve carried Y/n to the jet and next thing he knew his son was in recovery, a tired smile on his face as Steve entered the room. “Hey pops.” Y/n’s voice sounded so tired and strained, it made Steve want to break down and cry.
“Hey kiddo, how’re you feeling?” He questioned, sitting in the chair beside his son’s bed, immediately holding his hand. “Like I got shot twice.” Y/n deadpanned, giving his father a cheeky grin. Steve huffed out a tired laugh, eyes running over his son’s bruised body. “Yeah, yeah that makes sense.” The soldier chuckled lightly, giving Y/n’s hand a squeeze. The two sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, the only sound in the room was the rhythmic beeps of the heart monitor. After a few moments of psyching himself up, Steve spoke.
“So, you and Parker huh?” He kept his voice light, eyebrows furrowed slightly. His son’s cheeks flushed, looking away from his father. “Oh, uh yeah.” He could hear the beeping increase slightly. “Why didn’t you tell me kiddo?” He questioned, feeling a bit hurt that his son had kept something so important from him.
“I didn’t know how you’d react, being from the 40’s and all...” Y/n trailed off, eyebrows furrowed a bit. Steve felt his stomach twist a bit. Y/n was scared he wouldn’t accept him being gay? “Oh sweetheart, I don’t care if you’re gay, I love you no matter what, you’re still my baby boy.”
The smile Y/n gave him put the sun to shame, making a smile spread across his own lips. “How long have you and Peter been together?” He questioned lightly, his thumb brushing over the teenagers’ knuckles. “6 months.” Y/n replied shyly, flush darkening under his father’s questioning. That continued for about an hour before Peter entered the room, and immediately the protective dad mode came out.
“So, Parker what are your intentions with my son?” Y/n let out an indignant sound, slapping his dads’ arm. Peter’s entire face flushed bright red, looking like a deer caught in headlights. “T-to make him happy, sir.” Came Peter’s shy reply, glancing over at his boyfriend for help.
“Pops, seriously? Leave him alone.” Y/n gave his father an annoyed look, making Steve shrink back slightly, his kid was slightly terrifying, okay? The father watched as the two boys interacted, watching them for a few moments, before excusing himself from the room. If he came back later and the two were curled up in bed together asleep, well he wasn’t going to say anything.
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makeste · 3 years
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BnHA Chapter 310: A Tale of Two Kacchans
Previously on BnHA: Flashback!Deku was all, “hey, you know what sounds like a good decision? Abandoning my studies at the safest place in the country so that the bad guy who wants to find me and kill me has literally nothing standing in his way of doing that.” All Might was all, “I fucking knew you were going to say some bullshit like that so whatever, but I’M COMING WITH YOU and I’m also going to invite the Hawksquad to come with us, mostly so that I can steal Jeanist’s car.” Jeanist was all, “okay fine you can borrow my car, All Might, but only if you wear jeans.” All Might was all, “okay sure” and he wore jeans and also sunglasses and a leather jacket and it was pretty rad. Anyway so now they’re out there fighting crime and hunting down the LoV and stuff, and absolutely none of it is going to end well, I’m just letting you know now. But I guess we’ll let them enjoy it while it lasts.
Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “happy belated Kacchan’s Birthday makeste, here’s the flashback you really wanted at long last,” and proceeds to pull the old vestige flashback out of the kitchen drawer and upend its contents all over my Friday afternoon without the slightest bit of warning. OFA III is all “WHAT’S UP I’M JUST SOME GUY, HELLO,” and okay?? Hello yourself. OFA II, on the other hand, is all, “okay yeah I have different hair and stuff, but I’m like 98% sure I’m either Bakugou or his goddamn twin, I mean look at me.” Which, yeah. I looked, and he really is though you guys. Anyway though, so he and OFA II basically just showed up in the First (who goes by Yoichi now)’s prison cell one day all “HEY THERE, WE’RE HERE TO SAVE YOU, APPARENTLY, ALTHOUGH WE SEEM REAL CONFUSED ABOUT IT TBH BUT HEY.” And so they saved him, and Yoichi was all “hey nice to meet you do you want to join my super-exclusive Saving The World Club”, and so they did, and then the chapter ended lol. I would have said yes too.
oh my sweet lord?? I didn’t realize we were getting a color page this week, but LOOK AT THIS
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this could have been a fucking volume cover. I’m almost mad that it wasn’t, lol but I mean fkldjslklk just look at it??! Horikoshi out here spoiling us and making sure we’re well fed since next week the manga is on break for Golden Week. well this will certainly help to tide me over. hot damn look at those colors
so now it’s raining on some dumb building in the middle of somewhere
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is this where the Hawksquad has set up camp for the night? or are we actually cutting back to the League? that’d be unexpected (but not unwelcome)
ffff nevermind dammit it’s just more random citizens under attack
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feels like this is the third or fourth scene we’ve had of civilians being Under Attack since this arc started. I mean no offense, but I think we get it by this point. it’s the end times, etc. etc. we’re well aware that things have gone to shit
so apparently these two guys are facing off against a girl with a mutant quirk. and she’s telling them that she’s not a monster and she was just scared, oh shit. I believe her btw, you can see it in her face
but these assholes don’t believe her at all and they’re pointing what looks to be some type of support item gun at her
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you know what’s interesting, is that this kind of random quirk discrimination is the exact kind of thing PLF and the like were swearing up and down they’d put a stop to with their glorious revolution. it’s almost like those guys were completely full of shit. huh
so yeah, fortunately for this woman someone is stepping in and intervening before she can be blasted to bits by this trigger-happy asshole for absolutely no fucking reason
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looks like a hero actually stepped in and saved her?? but no that can’t be, heroes are the ones that ruin everything and make everything worse, or so I understand. lol where did all of this sarcasm come from out of nowhere dlkdsjlk I’m sorry guys I just suddenly got swept up in the hypocrisy of certain people’s philosophies out of the blue idek
anyway so it is of course Deku saving her, and now he’s trying to talk thess jerks down all diplomatically instead of just kicking their asses, which is certainly a choice
MOTHERFUCKER I’M
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fucking impossible to miss the real world parallels here. shit. this woman nearly died for her crime of Walking While Having A Mutant Quirk huh. and meanwhile Deku is just letting this guy scurry away and even letting him keep that fucking bazooka of his, like, ????
fucking hell she’s crying!!
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lmao this chapter is actively trying to make me mad now huh. that’s some genuine righteous anger I’m feeling on behalf of this fictional ferret lady whom I only met two minutes ago. girl you are not the one who needs to explain herself here!! you didn’t do anything wrong holy fuck. everything about this situation sucks so much
fkKJKLMMMHFGH
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“I’m sorry I made you upset, please enjoy this panel of tiny!floating!Deku hefting this lady’s massive beach umbrella up for her like the fucking gentleman he is” well okay then thank you sir
and JUST LIKE THAT the tension is broken and I’m entirely incapable of taking the rest of this conversation seriously because Deku’s trying to be all calming and authoritative, but now the illusion has been broken because I know he only comes up to like her knees
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“well thanks again for saving me young man. I’ll leave you to it, I’m sure you’ve got more important things to do like protecting your Lucky Charms cereal from all those greedy children”
oh hey All Might
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you wouldn’t have just let that guy with the bazooka just walk away to commit more attempted murders would you?? man
OH MY GOD DEKU IS IMMEDIATELY DITCHING HIM AGAIN
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I ~CANNOT STAY HERE~ oh, well, sorry to keep you detained I know you’re busy
dfslkjlk oh my god
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fucking told you Deku didn’t pack any food lol. it’s literally all notebooks in that bag you guys. he couldn’t just leave them all in his dorm room when he left, because what if someone tried to read them and came across one of the pages where he absentmindedly doodled Kacchan’s name surrounded by little tiny hearts oh gosh
AWWWWW
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I needed this Horikoshi. thank you for this wholesome soul-cleansing interaction after all of that bullshit earlier
so now Deku’s climbing up this tall building to eat his lunchbox more dramatically. Tokoyami would be proud
and Banjou is saying that society right now is just like in The Good Old Days (read: bad old days) when quirk society was even more of a mess than it is now
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which is exactly how AFO likes it, no doubt
so now Deku’s having a whole conversation with Banjou seemingly out loud lol, weird. and he’s basically saying that they don’t have any clues as to where TomurAFO and the League are hiding right now, and none of the Tartarus escapees they’ve found knew anything either
mmmmmfmhm, marge simpson noises
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but you think you can?? you, alone, by yourself?? you think you stand a chance?? I just need you to think this all through a bit more kid
Deku it is NOT JUST YOUR RESPONSIBILITY ALONE, PLEASE REALIZE THIS ALREADY. YOU MAY BE THE CHOSEN ONE, BUT EVEN THE CHOSEN ONE NEEDS HIS FRIENDS BY HIS SIDE GODDAMMIT
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and of course my pleading is all in vain, because he’s a fictional character who can’t fucking hear me, and also because I’m pretty sure there’s only one character who is going to actually be able to get him to hear reason here. I’ve been saying it, and I’ll keep saying it lol. so until then I guess I’ll just have to be patient
anyway so it appears we’re segueing into another flashback??? HORIKOSHI PLEASE GIVE ME SOME BAKUCRUMBS BEFORE THE TWO WEEK BREAK, I BEG YOU
dlKSDJLFKWJELKGHSLGKLEKJLFKHLGK
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YES, THANK YOU, I KNOW WHERE THIS FUCKING IS LOL, IT’S NOT LIKE I’VE BEEN OBSESSED WITH FINDING OUT WHAT HAPPENS IN THE REST OF THIS SCENE OR ANYTHING LMAO. BUT ANYWAYS DON’T MIND ME, YOU WERE SAYING??
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oh my god oh my god I’m not readyyyyy, but also FUCK YEAH I AM SO FUCKING READY LOL LET’S DO THIS
YOU GUYS
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I’M ABOUT TO STEP IN THAT ROOM AND YEET ONE OF THOSE FUCKING CHAIRS AT YOU ALL
NOOOOO
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I’M ABOUT TO GRAB BANJOU’S GOGGLES AND STRETCH THEM OUT AND SNAP THEM BACK SO THEY SMACK THE SHIT OUT OF HIS FOREHEAD!!! IT’S WHAT HE DESERVES!!! I’M ABOUT TO MOVE TO JAPAN AND GET A JOB WITH DOORDASH AND FIND OUT WHAT HORIKOSHI LIKES TO ORDER FOR LUNCH SO I CAN BE THE ONE TO DELIVER IT SO THAT WHEN HE OPENS THE DOOR I CAN FINALLY ASK HIM “HEY WHAT THE FUCK” IN PERSON
AHHH NO EVERYBODY SHHHHH STOP TALKING!!!!
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SOMEONE PLEASE TELL THAT PERSON SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS IN THE BACKGROUND TO SHUT THE FUCK UP, OH WAIT, THAT’S ME
(」゜ロ゜)」 щ(゜ロ゜щ)
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LOL THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE!!! LOOK AT YOU!!! YOU’RE NOT KIRISHIMA OR SHINSOU OR IIDA IN A WIG OR ANYBODY LOL. YOU’RE JUST A DUDE. BROOOOO ABOUT FUCKING TIME, WHAT’S GOOD
I CAN’T SCROLL DOWN AHHHH BUT I HAVE TO BUT IT’S TOO INTENSE AHHHHHHH
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I CAN SEE THE TOP OF HIS SPIKY HEAD, IT’S FINALLY THAT TIME AHHHHHHHH OKAY I’M GONNA DO IT HERE GOES
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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IT’S HIM. IT FUCKING REALLY FUCKIGN IS HIM OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. WHY AM I SO SHOCKED LMAO I’M THE ONE WHO’S BEEN SAYING THIS THE WHOLE DAMN TIME LMAO. OH GOD. O H MY FUCKING GOD
well okay then sir. so are you an ~ancestor~ or a Kacchan from another timeline or so what’s your deal then
YOICHI WHO IS YOICHI
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YOICHI ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT’S UP. LMAO WHO IS YOICHI
(ETA: I’m going to punch myself in the face lmao. he’s Yoichi. he, the First. that’s his name. name reveal at long last what what!!)
MORE IMPORTANTLY SHOULD I BE IMAGINING NOBU’S VOICE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE LMAO I AM ANYWAY BUT YEAH
(ETA: I actually think he’s going to end up being voiced by Nobuhiko whether he ends up being Kacchan or not, just because it fits right in with the general “identical in almost every way” aesthetic he’s got going on.)
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TUMBLR HOW WE LIKING OUR ANGSTY ALTERNATE UNIVERSE KACCHAN?? EVERYONE HATED YOU SO MUCH BEFORE THEY EVEN MET YOU, BUT THEY FORGOT TO CONSIDER THE POSSIBILITY THAT YOU MIGHT BE HOT LMAO WHAT A TWIST
“some bright-eyed brat” oh come on. IT’S GOTTA BE HIM LOL
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oh my god you all are probably TIRED AS FUCK of all my screaming but I’M SORRY IMMA HAVE TO DO IT ONE LAST TIME BECAUSE...
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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that face. that expression!! THE FACT THAT HE’S OUT HERE OPENING DOORS WITH HIS FEET, LIKE HOLY SHIT!! JUST ADMIT THE JIG IS UP ALREADY
and so they really are the ones who busted First out of his jail cell huh
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so how did they know you were in the room?? why did they come and break you out?? and how, pray tell, did they know to get you to transfer OFA to them?? hmmmMMMMMMMM
oh MY GOD
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you guys. oh my god. it’s too much. every last bit of it lines up exactly with the Bakuverse theory sdkjfj I’m short-circuiting. it’s really fucking happening oh my lord
HELLO SEXY ALTERNATE UNIVERSE KACCHAN WITH HIS SEXY FUCKING SCAR, FUCK YEAH WE REALLY ARE EATING GOOD THIS CHAPTER
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HELL YEAH WE’RE GOING. WE’RE GOING FULL SPEED YOU GUYS. LMAO I’M SO FUCKING HYPED RIGHT NOW I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF WEFKJLDKFFFF
SO, EVERYONE, LET’S RECAP. -- ACTUALLY NO, I STARTED TO WRITE UP A LIST, BUT I IMMEDIATELY REALIZED IT REALLY JUST NEEDS TO GO IN ITS OWN THREAD. SO I MADE IT AND POSTED IT, AND NOW I’M FINISHING UP THIS HOT MESS OF A RECAP POST. SO NOW WE’RE BACK TO THIS ONE FINAL PANEL OF DEKU EATING HIS KATSU ALL SERIOUS
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YES SIR. YES SIR, WE GOING, FULL SPEED AHEAD, WHATEVER, IDK WTF IS HAPPENING BUT YES!!
lol, anyways so as I said in my other post, mysterious sexy guys with tragic pasts are what bring us together as a fandom, so whatever your thoughts are on the rest of it, let’s just rejoice in that. it’s what we deserve
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butwhyduh · 3 years
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The Farm
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Damian Wayne x Jon Kent
Summary: just 2 boys in love but won’t admit it. I have the attention span of a butterfly so this is as close as I get to a slow burn lmao. I just think they are adorable and I headcanon Damian as demisexual. I did actually age them above 18 but this is sfw. Only a little kissing. There’s a bigot but he gets punched.
“I heard about the farm,” Damian said as they sat on a rooftop in New York. “Sorry.” They were drinking milkshakes after saving the city. Well Jon was as Damian had a vegan smoothie instead.
“Yeah, they foreclosed,” Jon said, his bright blue eyes uncharacteristically stony. “Thanks. Just wasn’t expecting it is all.”
“You know I could help you.. financially. If you need,” Damian offered carefully. Jon shifted in his seat and took a drink of his shake.
“It’s not your job. I’ll figure out how to keep it. Don’t worry,” Jon said with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Congrats on vet school. Not that it’s a surprise. You were top of your class.”
“Oh thanks. But seriously, I have no problem writing a check right now, Jon,” Damian emphasized. Jon stared at him silently. It was so tempting to let Damian solve his problems but that wasn’t the Kent way.
“I don’t know,” Jon said shifting uncomfortably. Damian noted that it wasn’t a no.
“I will be going to school in Metropolis in the fall. The farm in Smallville is a lot closer to the university than my place in Gotham,” Damian said hoping to come off as casual. Apparently not as Jon almost fell off the roof in shock.
“Live- with me,” he asked, his eyebrows rose quickly.
“Oh, I suppose. Yes, that is what I would be proposing,” Damian answered. Jon looked at him with wide eyes before clearing his throat and softening the look on his face to more neutral. Damian definitely wasn’t meaning ‘moving in’ moving in. He was just being practical. He wasn’t in love with Jon the same way Jon was head over heels for Damian since he was like 13.
“It would be practical for us both,” he said and Jon relaxed. Yep, normal Damian not thinking of the social meaning of his words.
“I don’t have a butler,” Jon warned. “And I sometimes forget to do laundry or dishes.”
“Then I will make a chore chart,” Damian answered and Jon’s heart soared a little at the domestics of it all. Jon nodded with a grin.
“So when do I get my roommate?” Jon asked lightly. Or what he hoped was lightly. His farm was saved and Damian was moving in. He was surprised he wasn’t levitating yet.
“I need to sell my apartment first. And pack,” Damian contemplated. “Also I need to buy the farm. I’ll need 4 days.”
“4?!? I mean- that’s fine,” Jon answered. He began immediately imagining all the work he needed to do before Damian could move in. “You work fast.”
“Yes, money talks,” Damian answered as if it was normal for a 20 year old to say. Jon nodded and resisted the urge to roll his eyes.
True to his words, a moving truck showed up 4 days later. Jon had cleaned and organized everything, even scrubbing the walls and sweeping the barn. The workers quickly set up everything in the spare room just as Damian arrived.
Damian arriving was a sight Jon would never forget. Damian wore a black turtleneck with the sleeves rolled up and a tan pair of dress pants over shiny black leather shoes as he carried in a large paper bag of produce. Damian had grown so much from the tiny 13 year old Jon had first known. He was now a full inch taller than Jon and probably 10 lbs heavier. It was funny since Jon was the one currently running around as Superman.
Damian sat his bag on the kitchen counter and wiped sweat from his brow. Jon was much more casually dressed in old blue jeans and a white t shirt with a rolled up and open red plaid button down over it. An old blue baseball cap was thrown over backwards on his head and little curls stuck out.
“You brought food. You know this is a farm, right?” Jon said with a smile. “We’re kinda known for having food.”
“I brought food to cook tonight,” Damian said trying to be casual. He had actually taken far too long deciding on the perfect food for him and Jon to eat their first night as roommates.
“Are you cooking for me?” Jon said with a pleased smile. The moving company was leaving and it was just the two of them.
“Yes, I thought it would be a good start,” Damian said formally. “No need to be so happy. It’s just dinner.”
“Of course,” Jon said trying to straighten his face. But how could he when Damian was living with him and cooking for him? Impossible task.
Damian busied himself in the small kitchen, looking in every drawer and cabinet. He noted that in the dying evening light, it perfectly captured the sunset. That was something that people paid huge amounts to even glimpse from their place in Gotham and Jon got a 360 view everyday.
“Well I have to feed the animals but I’ll be back soon. Do you need anything before I go?” Jon said in the doorway to the kitchen. He had thrown on a pair of rubber boots.
“Tt, you dare care for animals without me?” Damian said with a frown.
“Well I just thought- I mean you can- but you’re cooking,” Jon sputtered and Damian smiled.
“I’m playing with you. I’ll see them tomorrow. Otherwise the meal will be ruined,” Damian said. Jon laughed and shook his head as he left.
Damian looked at the photos that lined the hallway, smiling as he saw pictures of Jon as a child. Jon holding a fish he caught. Jon swinging a baseball bat. Jon holding up one end of a tractor. Right above it was a young Clark Kent doing the same. Damian shook his head with a little smile. He would never admit it but he was head over heels for Jon. Had been for a few years now.
“That’s the first time I lifted a tractor,” Jon said beside him. “Dad was so proud.”
“I imagine,” Damian answered. Clark was such a sore subject for Jon. His father had only been presumed dead the year before. Jon took it hard. He didn’t speak but watched Jon from the corner of his eyes.
“He never wanted to force me to be Superboy. I practically begged him. He was scared it was too dangerous,” Jon said with a sad smile. They both walked in the kitchen and Damian finished the food. Damian brought it to the table just as Jon shyly brought out a bottle of wine.
“Mr Kent, where did you get that?” Damian said with a little smile.
“Actually there’s an entire wine cellar full of the good stuff. Your father is quite fond of giving wine as a gift and Dad never liked to drink. So he stored it here,” Jon said pulling out a wine opener. “I thought we could drink it for him.”
“That’s very illegal,” Damian said expertly opening the bottle. “We’re both technically underage.”
“Anything is legal with enough money,” Jon said with a little grin and Damian laughed.
I’m an awful influence,” Damian replied. They spend the rest of the night eating and drinking wine before both crashing in their separate rooms in the early morning.
Jon crawled out of bed only a few hours later to feed the animals and get started on his day. He thanked his Kryptonian DNA for the lack of hang over he worried Damian would have. He crept quietly past his roommate’s door on his way out.
Jon returned a few hours later, still rather early, and was surprised by the smell of coffee. Damian was cooking breakfast for him. For them, Jon reminded himself. Damian was just his roommate. Damian nodded and poured Jon a cup of coffee.
“I thought you would still be asleep,” Jon admitted.
“I don’t require much sleep. Plus I want a tour of the property,” he said. Practical Damian as always, Jon thought.
“Sure, I’ll take you around. The farm and then town,” Jon added taking a huge plate of scrambled tofu and fried tomatoes. Damian had anticipated that.
“That’s a good plan. I don’t want to stand out in town. Should I wear a plaid shirt,” Damian asked.
“Uh, yeah. If you want. T shirts and jeans are fine too,” Jon said.
“May i borough these clothing from you? Mine are not appropriate for a farm,” Damian said casually and Jon willed himself to not have any emotion that Damian was going to wear his clothing.
Damian was extremely handsome in Jon’s plaid shirt and a pair of jeans. His bright green eyes and tan skin popped in the shirt and he had brushed his black hair neatly back as it had gotten long enough to fall in his eyes. Jon couldn’t help but stare at his Damian in his clothing. Logic be damned.
“What?” Damian asked looking at himself. “Does it look bad? I don’t want to appear foolish,” he said about to pull off the plaid shirt.
“No! No you look good. Nice,” Jon said and Damian’s lip twitched towards a smile.
“Thank you. Would you like to show me town first? Before we get muddy,” Damian said.
“Sure, that sounds good. I need to pick up feed anyways,” Jon said. They loaded into Jon’s old pickup. Krypto hopped into Damian’s lap as if he always had done it and they set off to town a few miles away.
“Here’s the library and the best Waffle House in Kansas. Second only to Ma Kent’s,” Jon said as they drove around. He showed Damian all the important sights in town. Damian had a hard time believing that everything was so compact and so small. Even the diner that Jon said they would eat lunch because they had the best pie short of Ma Kent.
They both, and Krypto, got out at the feed store and they treated Jon like old friends. He grabbed a basket and pushed it to the back as he chatted about all the interesting animals people owned to Damian. The Ferguson’s owned a pair of alpacas and old Skipper Smith had a parrot and monkey as pets.
Jon didn’t pay any attention as he easily lifted 4 50 lb bags of feed and casually put 200 lbs of feed in the basket. Damian looked around to see no one near. Jon did it again.
“Should get us through the week,” he said with a grin.
“You do know that most people don’t pick up 4 at once?” Damian told him quietly as they moved to the register. Jon stopped before nodded and laughing.
“You know I’ve never thought about it. Let’s get going before the diner gets a lunch rush,” he said. Jon tried to act more normal putting up the feed bags but tossing them one handed like bags of bread into the bed of a pick up truck was far from normal. Damian couldn’t help but roll his eyes.
The diner had about 12 booths and a row across the counter like old times. It probably was an older restaurant with the light blue tile and actual jukebox. Damian didn’t know what rush hour could possibly look like with all 7 people he’d seen since entering town but Jon seemed pleased to be earlier than them.
An older lady laid down a menu between them both and offered them coffee with a big grin. Jon ordered a chicken fried steak and Damian ended up getting the waffles. It was the only thing probably vegetarian on the menu.
“Oh shoot, I forgot you don’t eat meat. Sorry. Should I change my order,” Jon said raising his hand.
“No,” Damian said grasping Jon’s hand and pulling it down to the table. Jon’s heart just about beat out of his chest. “It’s fine. You don’t have to change what you eat for me.”
“Okay,” Jon said and the waitress came back to the table with drinks and eyed Damian’s hand on Jon’s.
“This your new partner, Kent,” she asked and Jon noted the judge tone to her voice as she sat down their glasses. Homophobia was still alive in the country. Damian didn’t notice.
“Yes, I just moved in last night,” Damian answered and Jon was frozen in time. Damian doesn’t understand what he means, Jon thought. He can’t.
“Oh, is that right? Took off to the city and brought back a city slicker. Well, each to their own,” she said with a passive aggressive smile. Jon sighed as she walked away. He didn’t know how to explain that to Damian. Was Damian even gay? Too late now. The whole town thought he was.
After eating their meal, Jon asked the waitress for pie to go. The diner had filled up and far too many people were glancing at the pair. Damian assumed it was because he was new in town or possibly they recognized him as a Wayne. Jon knew it was that he had brought home a man. Damian also didn’t quite pass as white with his tan skin and Arabic features so probably a dash of racism too.
Jon drive down to the park at the edge of town and parked by the pond. He put on a nice face but worried that Damian wouldn’t have as easy time in Smallville as Jon hoped.
“Something on your mind, Kent,” Damian said, sitting on the back hatch of the truck watching, the ducks swim.
“Nothing. Maybe I’m a little tired. Should have gone to bed earlier last night,” he said with a laugh. Damian looked at him out the corner of his eye but said nothing and continued eating his pie.
“This pie is made with quality,” Damian said and Jon smiled.
“Better than Alfred’s?”
“Different. Alfred makes amazing meat pies but he never quite understood American pies,” Damian answered. Jon nodded.
“I have to work the rest of the week,” he warned Damian.
“I have plenty of paperwork to keep me busy,” Damian answered. Jon knew he never had to worry about Damian that way. He always kept busy. This was probably his longest break.
The next 3 weeks consisted of getting up early to care for the animals before Jon left to work at the local paper. Damian would jog 3 miles down the dirt road that the Kent farm sat at the end of. By the end of the first week, a few of the neighbors would even wave at him. Jon counted himself as having the will of a Green Lantern to leave before Damian returned every morning. Damian was a sight to behold in his post workout glow pre-shower. He would come home and most of the time Damian was cooking dinner for him. Jon was really falling for the domestics of it all.
“Don’t get used to it, Kent,” Damian warned after Jon complimented an amazing dish Damian made. “Once school starts I can not act as a housewife to you.”
“You aren’t- Dami, you’re far from a housewife,” Jon sputtered. “I know that Flamebird has been seen in metropolis a few times this week alone.”
“Well, I needed to keep busy,” Damian said with a shrug. “Eat your eggplant.”
“I’ve probably eaten more vegetables this week than I have since I would summer with Ma,” Jon said. “But this is pretty good.”
“You’re welcome,” Damian said with a pleased smile. After dinner they sat on the swing on the porch and swung as they watched the sunset like an old married couple. Damian looked at Jon more often than he needed to as they talked about nothing. Jon was so pretty in the golden light. His bright blue eye and freckles looked adorable to Damian.
“And then in August we harvest-“ Jon had been saying before Damian cupped his face and pushed his lips against Jon’s. It was rough and their teeth clanged together and Jon pulled back with an “ow.”
“Shit,” Damian said, moving to get up. “I shouldn’t have- forget I-“
“Wait,” Jon said and Damian froze. He looked so uncertain and Jon had never seen that before. “Can we- can we try again?”
“You don’t have to pity me,” Damian said curtly, getting up. “Forget I did that. I apologize,” he said going inside.
Jon sat for a minute in shock. He had been in love with Damian forever and Damian finally kissed him and he couldn’t even enjoy it. Jon went inside and stood in front of Damian’s door. His hand tentatively considered knocking but Jon couldn’t do it. Just as he turned to walk away, Damian opened his door.
“I have to go to Gotham,” he said suddenly.
“What? If it’s me, you don’t have to leave,” Jon said quickly.
“No. My brothers need me,” Damian said and Jon noticed he had his suit on under his clothing.
“Do I need to come?”
“No. It’s okay. I’ll be back later this week hopefully,” Damian said dashing outside. The screen door swung and slapped the doorframe loudly. Jon ran on the porch.
“Week?” He called as Damian’s car pulled out the drive.
Jon fretted and obsessively watched the news everyday. Krypto was getting anxious without his 3 mile jog every morning. Late on the fourth day after Damian left, Jon heard the front door open. He raced to the door. Damian looked weary and had a slight limp.
“Hi,” Jon said looking Damian over and Damian offered a tired smile. Nothing broken. “Do you need help?”
“No. I need to sleep and I will be fine,” Damian said stubbornly. Jon rolled his eyes and helped him to his bed.
“Do you need anything?”
“No thank you. I will probably sleep late tomorrow,” Damian warned.
“Sure. Of course,” Jon said slowly closing the door as Damian fell asleep. Jon barely slept that night and got up early and called out of work for the day. Damian got up uncharacteristically late around 10 am.
“How are you?” Jon asked, offering him coffee. Damian took the drink before sitting next to Jon. He had a black eye and that limp was still around. The sun shone in bright in the kitchen and Damian was once again reminded the vast difference between smallville and Gotham.
“I’m fine. Thanks,” he said quietly. Jon didn’t want to pounce Damian the first second he got home but it was very hard to not want to talk about the kiss.
“You got mail,” Jon said, handing Damian a big Manila envelope that had come in the day before. Damian wordlessly opened it as he sipped coffee.
“Oh it’s yours,” he handed it over to Jon. Jon opened it with a confused look.
It was a deed. The Kent farm deed. The Kent farm deed in Jon’s name. He looked up at Damian who had a tired half smile.
“It’s in my name. You put it in my name,” he said. “W-why?”
“It’s the Kent farm. There’s too many things with the Wayne name on it,” he shrugged. “Plus I’m far from a farmer. It should be yours.”
“God Damian,” Jon said with tears in his eyes. He pulled Damian into a hug who squawked a protest that Jon ignored. “Thank you. I can’t- thank you,” he said wetly. Damian ignored how Jon was quietly crying on him. His grandma and dad passing had affected him hard and Damian knew he was crying over more than a house and land.
“You’re welcome,” Damian finally whispered and Jon cried even harder. Damian softly pat his back awkwardly. Jon leaned back but didn’t let Damian go. He gazed at Damian with the softest look.
“God Damian,” Jon repeated. “Do you even know how much I love you?”
Damian froze and just blinked at Jon who had pulled back but not out of the hug. “What?” He simply said and Jon’s face started to contort in pain. “Hold on,” Damian said and Jon warily looked at him. Damian knew he had to lean in or Jon would take it back and Damian would be too scared to do anything until Jon did this again. And he wasn’t sure how long Jon would wait.
Damian gently cupped Jon’s face in his hands and Jon breathed in quickly. Damian was clearly nervous. Damian noted how his face was soft and his skin warm. This time he gently bent over and softly pressed his lips against Jon’s. Jon quickly reacted by leaning in toward Damian. Jon could feel the rough pads of Damian’s fingers and taste the coffee Damian had been drinking. After a short while, Damian pulled back but not away.
“I truly care for you too,” he said softly and Jon grinned. “I’ve cared for you for a long time.”
“Same,” Jon said before leaning in to kiss Damian again. Damian kissed for another few seconds before pulling back again. This time Jon tried to follow his lips before stopping. Jon’s breath was erratic and fast. “Sorry,” he muttered.
“No. It’s okay. I’ve just never- I’ve never“ Damian started a bit lost for words. Jon understood what he meant.
“You’ve never been with a man,” Jon said gently.
“I’ve never taken the time for relationships with anyone. I’ve always been too busy,” Damian admitted. He played with the edge of a napkin nervously. He would never openly admit to being worried that his lack of experience was a flaw.
“We can go slow. Whatever you want,” Jon said and he finally looked at Damian the way he had never let himself before: like he was in love with him. Damian nodded.
“I’ve just never found anyone that interesting. I mean, beside you. After a while. I wanted to throw you off a bridge at first,” Damian said and Jon smiled.
“I know. You told me,” Jon said. “We should go out to eat. There’s a place downtown that has vegan options.”
“I didn’t even know there was a downtown here,” Damian admitted and Jon laughed.
“It’s a small town. Not a hut in the woods.”
The place wasn’t ‘rush hour’ packed but had plenty of tables with patrons. Damian and Jon sat at a booth and Damian almost couldn’t handle the lovey way Jon was looking at him. Jon was staring at Damian like he was the moon, even though Damian stood out like a sore thumb in the rural town in his turtleneck and dress slacks. But that was his comfort clothing and he had given up on fitting in long ago.
“I’m going to the restroom. Order for me?” Damian asked and Jon nodded. As Damian walked towards the back of the restaurant, a man in a brown jacket and rubber boots purposefully shoved Damian with his shoulder as he walked by. Damian turned to glare at him.
“Sorry, didn’t see any fruitcakes around here,” the guy said and Damian bristled. Before he could make a scene, Jon moved over to them.
“Hi Tyler. Do we have a problem here?” Jon said uncharacteristically cold. That guy didn’t realize that he picked the worst pair to insult. Tyler looked between Damian and Jon before deciding the fight wasn’t worth it.
“Nothing worth it,” Tyler said turning around. “Bad enough to bring a fruitcake to town, it had to a brown one too,” he muttered and Damian stiffened. He knew that he got looks when he went into town. He was probably the only person that spoke more than English or Spanish in town and certainly the only one to speak Arabic.
But before Damian could do anything else but feel disgust, Jon had punched the guy in the face. Well it was more of a flick with his fist but the guy went down like a rock. Damian hid his smile as him and Jon were hurried out of the restaurant with their food to go by a worried waitress who apologized to the pair.
As they walked back to the pickup truck, Damian reached out and grabbed Jon’s hand who lit up almost instantly. Damian ignored the butterflies in his stomach as he walked. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Jon either.
“You know, it’s not everyday that a guy gets Superman to defend his honor,” Damian said quietly but playfully and Jon laughed.
“Can’t handle bigots. I’ll let you punch the next one,” Jon said with a shrug.
“I would have punched that one,” Damian answered. He turned and pulled Jon to face him before taking his free hand that wasn’t carrying a bag. Damian gently cupped Jon’s face to place a kiss on Jon’s lips before going back to walking. Jon had a stupid smile all the way back home.
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aquarii-writes · 3 years
Text
History on repeat(Dream x f!reader)
Ngl this was inspired by a dnf piece on tik tok. While I don't ship it the art was beautiful and the song attached inspired me to write this. This also includes my headcanons for Dream/his parents and I'll elaborate on it in a different post if enough people ask lmao
Notes: I should mention to look at my 'DSMP headcanons' especially Dream's part because that's where I kinda explain that I don't believe that Dream himself is a dreamon but that his mask contains one. I also used Dream's real name as his fathers name. I don't really like using the dsmp members real names if it's not in their user but I had to think of a name
WARNINGS: none I can think of aside from death and stuff of similar manners
WC:1,005
Genre: Angstyy
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Two people sat together along the shoreline of a river. The colors of the sunset danced on the water. Turning the already beautiful area ethereal. Warm summer air tickled the woman; her blonde hair jumped with the wind.
"You're so beautiful [REDACTED]" the man spoke. His amber eyes held a love for the woman beside him; his lovely wife. Her green cloak acted as a pillow for her.
"You're too kind my darling" a smile played on the woman's lips. Her mask discarded beside her. The painted smile similar to the one she held.
"I love you with all my heart" a smile danced on the mans face. His lovely wife sat up and hugged him. Falling back into the grass the happy couple basked in one another. Masks long forgotten beside them. "Stay with me forever [REDACTED]?"
"Of course my darling dream" the twos faces were close as the wife spoke. It felt as though time sat there frozen to preserve the lasting moment.
Smiling towards you Dream held out his arms to get you to come towards him. As you got near Dream pulled you on top of him. His arms circling around your waist.
~~~
"Dream~" your voice was loving. Dreams mask was off as he watched you jump in the stream water. The sun was setting over the horizon and the light gave an other worldly glow to you and the water.
Playing with the locks of hair that fell into your grasp, Dream watched you. A deep seeded longing in his eyes. Out here away from everything was when Dream was the most caring. His affections unrestricted when he wasn't in the eyes of his friends. When he could easily sneak away.
Though the future had many plans for the two of you, but here in this moment the future could wait.
"I would do anything for you (y/n)" Dream's amber eyes looked like the sun. Specks of gold shined like they were directly in the sun. Nodding to his statement you kissed the man before you. An adoring hum escaped him.
Pulling away you mumbled out a response. "I love you with all my heart~"
"Will you stay with me forever?" with a teasing smile Dream rubbed your sides: tickling you along the way.
"Of course my darling Dream" an unknown feeling of deja vu came over the two. Seems as though something similar happened in the past.
~~~
"My dream!!' [REDACTED] screamed for her husband. "Don't take him away! Please!," the woman covered her small sons ears. The child didn't know what was happening. huddling into his mother arms the woman kept screaming for her husband.
Huddled under her cloak the small boy held a hand over his mother stomach and whispered to it. The boys father struggled against the men who held him away from his family. "CLAY! LET HIM GO! He didn't mean it.." [REDACTED] dropped to the ground crying. Her son hugging his mother. "Oh my baby Dream"
Dream's mother held onto him for dear life. Tears fell from his eyes as he watched his father get taken to the gallows. As a final goodbye his father threw towards them.
Crawling away from his mother, Dream grabbed the mask; his fathers mask. The plastic was cracked in a few placed, and some of the paint was chipped, but it was probably the last thing he would ever have of his fathers.
"Please just let my husband go" [REDACTED]'s mask was similarly painted though the tears the spilt from under it spoke another story. "It was the Dreamons who did it.. not my Clay.. not my lovely dreamer.." her whimpers drew her son back over to her.
"Mommy what's happening to daddy?" Dream wouldn't get an answer from her. Just wails and whimpers about how cruel the world was.
~~~
"Dream what did you do..," Tommy and Tubbo huddled behind you. A fearful look settled in your eyes. Dream's mask was just that, a mask. Behind it he held no remorse for what he had done and what he said.
He did plan on killing Tubbo, but the look in your eyes made his thoughts stutter. Should he not kill Tubbo? When Dream said he doesn't care about anyone it planted a seed in your heart. Did he really not love you anymore?
Dream didn't answer you. All he did was stare at you through the mask. "Take off your damn mask and answer me Dream" when your voice jumped at him all Dream could do was stare. He didn't talk and he didn't react. "Why aren't you answering me?! Dream WHY did you do it?!"
"I didn't mean to-"
"Like hell you didn't mean to!" your tone was sharp. It made the boys behind you move back as you came forward to hold Dream's face. This felt too familiar. Why does it feel so familiar?
Knitted brows went unnoticed behind the mask. His annoyed expression hidden to the world; to you. His everything. Before he lost it he wanted to marry you. He even joked about you being his wife. His darling wife.
"Do you not care about me anymore? After everything that's happened between us?" a certain sadness pushed your pain to him. It was the same sorrow his mother screamed from the top of her lungs. That's why it felt so familiar.
A desolate look decorated your (e/c) eyes. The same eyes he would've fought wars so see happy. The very eyes he believed he would love forever.
"It's not my fault- sweetheart it's not my fault" his words became more rushed as Sam pulled Dream away. Dragging him to Pandora's Vault. All the way to his box.
The misery and heartache Dream saw on your face reminded him of his mother. The heartbreak he never wanted to see again.
~~~
{REDACTED] held a baby in her arms as she watched her son play on the hill with her friends son. The baby girl in her arms slept peacefully as she spoke to her friend beside her.
Puffy had been a good friend of [REDACTED] for a long time now. "Puffy you have to promise me something"
"Anything [REDACTED]" Puffy watched the baby in her friends arms. The poor thing had been born months after her fathers hanging. The family had to go into hiding.
"Please after tonight take my babies with you.... I don't think I can carry on much longer with out my Clay.." despair was the only way Puffy could describe her once vibrant friend.
The woman's once vibrant green eyes now only held melancholy. The satchel that sat beside her only contained a few things; one thing being Clay's mask.
"Dream my beloved!" [REDACTED] called out for her boy. The mask that once adorned her face constantly had been vacant since her husband died.
Running up to his momma Dream reached out to hold his baby sister. Passing baby Drista [REDACTED] kissed her sons head before pulling something from her satchel.
"Dream listen to me. The world is a cruel and it will hurt you-" holding out Clay's mask to her son said everything to the small boy. Giving baby Drista to Puffy, Dream took his fathers mask away from his mother. "Wear this.. it was your fathers..," a sadistic smile rested on his mothers face.
It scared him, but it was the first smile he saw from her since his father died.
"Okay mommy" Dream slipped on the mask his father once wore and winced. It felt like strings were licking his face. It felt wrong. This wasn't his mask to be keeping was it?
~~~
The prison vault was deafening. Nothing was a really annoying sound when all that surrounded you was lava and crying obsidian. Though he had one thing to look forward to.
You promised to see him today. His lovely wife. Well you weren't married. He fucked up that chance when he lost himself to the mask. The dreamons that whispered to him constantly.
Ever since he came in here the whispers stopped. Except for when they speak about you.
The pistoning sound of the bridge coming brought Dream from his head. A sadistic smile grew on him. Throwing off the mask the threads retreated back into the plastic.
"(y/n) my beloved!" a crazed look adorned Dream's face as he looked at you. His beloved wife. "I love you so much~"
"Dream.." with a heavy heart you held Dream's face. His eyes held a look of longing love.
"Dream love.. listen to me. The world is cruel.. and it's going to hurt," your voice cracked as you held Dream's hands. Worry filled him as Dream dragged you towards him.
Pushing back Dream dug around in the chest of his room. A ring sat gently between his fingers.
"Wear this... it'll protect you.." a hopeful look held on to Dream's face. All his love and adoration for you.
"I'm sorry Dream.. I love you so much but maybe it's better if we split ways.... I.. why do I trust you so much? Your hands are scarred with murder, but I trust them completely.." crumpling to the ground you sobbed. Conflictions and pain battering against you for weeks.
Dream held you. He had seen this all before. History was repeating. He witnessed this happen between his parents. The very thing he never wanted to happen to him did. He's losing the love of his life.
Why does history have to repeat?
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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years
Note
Ok imma be honest, this chapter moved me to tears and not the sad sobbing but the more inspiring kind. This chapter means the world.
She had told them her dreams were about ducks – since there were the only equally horrible thing she could think of.
Uncle Magnus had given her an odd look then, as if he knew she was bullshitting them. But he hadn’t said anything.
DUCKS AREN'T THAT BAD! HAVE Y'ALL EVER BEEN CHASED BY A GOAT?? I WAS CONVINCED I WAS GONNA DIE
Lexi would be royally pissed if this turned out to be some stupid pointless dream.
YUP
Even though she was only 7 minutes older than Lexi, Selena always acted like she was 7 years older.
That's so cute though
People looked at her pastel-coloured aesthetic immediately assumed she was the soft and sweet Fairchild twin. People saw Selena in her red leather jacket and thigh high boots and assumed she was in the infamous troublesome Herondale twin.
SMH THE DAMN STEREOTYPES
Why Selena hadn’t killed her in her sleep yet, Lexi doesn’t know.
BYE THAT'S EVERY SIBLING RELATIONSHIP EVER
The meals at the Academy were to die for – quite literally. Last week two students from the warlock fraction had almost killed each other over a blueberry muffin.
Oh how times change...they will never know the dreaded soup
NO ANJALI HAS BEEN GONE FOR OVER A YEAR???
IS JAIME OK?? PLEASE BE OK! HE CAN LIVE WITH TREATMENT SO I REALLY HOPE HE'S OK
Selena’s was Idris of course. She was kind of obsessed with it.
Max loved the shadow markets. Lexi thought they were very cool too.
Rafael loved his father’s office – which was weird. There was nothing to do in that room other than ponder about shadow world problems. Besides, the place still weirdly smelled like the tangerine perfume Anjali wore, even though the girl had left New York almost a year ago.
David loved the New York Institute – especially the library.
Gigi of course loved the dining halls.
Dining halls, kitchens, food trucks, vending machines - if a place had food with it, Gigi loved it.
It's so amazing how they all have their favorite places...(same David same)
“You’re supposed to pour the syrup on the pancakes not into your mouth,” Lexi chuckled as she sat down next to her.
“It ends up in my mouth anyway,” Gigi shrugged.
True enough.
AWW ROMAN MAKING GIGI PLAYLISTS!!
Someone make me a playlist.
“His parents fell in love in Rome when they were in Rome,” Gigi pointed out even though Lexi already knew. “I think it’s actually romantic.”
I had forgotten that-
Roman was nice. But not nice enough for Georgia. Lexi didn’t think there was anyone good enough for her parabatai – who was the most perfect person in the world.
Me @ anyone who tries to make a move at my best friend.
AWW GEORGIA LIKES HIM TOO!!
When's the wedding?
(you're telling me you didn't believe you were gonna marry your childhood crush? Liar)
“I like being his friend,” Georgia said. “I like spending time with him and all of that. But I don’t know if I like him…in that way. I feel like I need more time.”
Demiromantic??? YES GIVE US THE REP
Lexi sometimes thought life would be so much simpler if the world was full of women and everyone was a lesbian.
Ikr?? Life would be so much easier.
Lexi says Roman is too-nice-sus
Well well well
The kind of love that cheated death.
The kind of love that sustained memory spells put by princes of hell.
The kind of love that changed the world.
Trust me all of our standards are very high
Lexi successfully survived the class without falling asleep.
Me during English.
Ok who's the blond?
Lexi I thought we weren't gonna fall this soon-
Oh the girl's straight...sigh we've all been there.
which meant they had to hold hands. Kinda.
Lexi was a little scared of that.
Me.
Goddamnit, Alexandra. Get your gay together!
THAT'S SO RELATABLE LIKE?? YES
OH MY GOD IT'S EMMA AND JULIAN'S DAUGHTER GEIDIDHDOHDJSKSJSKGXJDHSODHKDGDDGDJHDJDGDJDGJDHD
Lexi knew Olivia liked boys. She hadn’t dated anyone officially of course. All the boys were kind of terrified of her father.
She could be bi or pan or omni. WE GOTTA HAVE HOPE
vegetable loaf... David I'm so sorry you had to go through this.
Lexi then decided not to do any of her homework over the weekend because she was not coming back to the academy. She was not going to survive the sleepover and whatever else Olivia had in mind.
Bestie...why is this me when I make eye contact with my crush.
“Good stuff?” Max snorted. “Rafe literally ran away from home cause shit got too intense.”
“I didn’t run away!” Rafael rolled his eyes. “Stop telling people that!”
“But you have rumours and shadowhunters getting thrown into silent city and cohort drama and all that exciting stuff!” Liv pointed out.
I-
Liv-
True though.
“Wasn’t there a serial killer when your parents were young?” David asked.
“And didn’t your uncle do necromancy?” Max said biting into a chicken wing.
True and true
“Sorry, Chouchou!” Lexi winced. “I, uh, sensed a mosquitoe on your leg.”
“Girl, your angel powers are weird as fuck,” Max laughed.
MAX LANGUAGE
“I don’t know,” the girl shrugged and threw her a wink. “I wouldn’t put anything past Lexi.”
Lexi looked at Gigi. She was one more compliment away from screaming.
But Gigi of course knew her struggle and therefore quickly stuffed a bread roll into Lexi’s mouth.
I need someone to stuff bread into my mouth when things get like this
There were rumours about David – and how Daddy had an affair. Lexi was yet to find those asshats and shove a witch light down their throats.
When you find them lemme know too.
“Or maybe it’s because you don’t need rumours be interesting,” David pointed out.
Max turned around, looking surprised at that. His cheeks turned purple. Lexi didn’t know why he was surprised. David only ever spoke fondly of Max.
JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY OH MY GOD
“Oh. Oh! I did hear something a long time ago!” Gigi said suddenly. “Olly, is it true you were conceived at the beach?”
“Georgia, you can’t just ask people where they were conceived!” David sounded horrified.
That is very much possible.
“I heard you were conceived in hell?”
“Oh my god,” Selena looked horrified. “That’s not true! It must have been about Max!”
“Y’all I am adopted!” Max was shaking with laughter and then stopped. “Although our dads could have definitely had sex in hell. I wouldn’t put it past them.”
Oh yes. Both clace and malec.
Then they had of course continued to discuss that cursed topic until Rafael had threatened to tell the Consul about it.
LMAO
Lexi turned around and saw Liv waiting for her. Nope. She wasn’t going to talk a walk – a fucking stroll! – with Olivia all on her own.
“You are coming back to the institute with me or I will un-parabatai you.”
You know there being an un-parabatai ceremony would solve a lot of shit
What if their hands accidentally grazed or something? That shit was lethal.
RIGHT????
She is just trying to be nice. That’s what friends do. They are nice. And they give each other pretty dresses and say they would like to see them in it.
Honey that's gay.
EVERYONE ASKING HER OUT IM DEAD
Selena: Ugh boys
Selena: When I win back Idris, we are leaving all the men behind.
Lexi: Except Magnus? Lol.
Selena: Obviously.
Is that even a question Lexi? Duh.
ALEC LIGHTWOOD THOUGHT SHE WAS STRAIGHT? THE SHAME!
OH MY GOD IM CACKLING
Not everyone can kiss their partner in the Accords Hall. Some people didn’t have access to the Accords Hall.
And most important, some people didn’t have partners!
We're getting a lexi and Alec talk someone hold me
“I’m going to tell you something,” Uncle Alec said. “It might sound simple. It might sound ridiculous. But it’s the truth. So, you must believe me. Can you do that?”
Lexi gave him a small nod.
“It doesn’t matter what other people think,” Uncle Alec said. “Not when it comes to your future. Not when it comes to your identity. They don’t get to have a say in who you are and why you are the way you are.”
Lexi bit her lip.
“Alexandra, people will always tell what to do. But you shouldn’t let them. Never let anyone tell you what to do with your heart or your body. Neither belongs them. It only belongs to you.”
THIS RIGHT HERE MADE ME START CRYING BECAUSE DAMN YES!
“Yep,” she groaned and then hesitated for a moment. “Uncle Alec…Can I ask you something stupid?”
“Can I say no?”
“No.”
“Then go ahead.”
I love her so much
“I feel…I feel it’s something we have to bear, Alexandra. The fear of rejection. It’s something we have to accept as an inevitable part of our lives. Because no matter how much love we have around us, we will always be afraid of people not loving us – simply because of who we are.”
Yeah...
“Besides, they named you after me,” he pointed out. “I don’t know what else they expected.”
EXACTLY! Did they really expect a straight child after naming them after Alec?
“I do like shouting,” Lexi wondered out loud. “That’s good advice.”
“I didn’t mean it literally!” Uncle Alec looked alarmed.
“No, it makes total sense!” Lexi grinned. “Some of these people can be tone deaf. Gotta shout it out. Loud and clear. Awesome advice! Thanks, Uncle Alec!”
DO IT
“Hey, Lexi. I was wonderin-”
“MOVE, I’M GAY!” she yelled as she shoved him aside and kept on running.
ABSOLUTELY ICONIC
“I prefer she/her,” Lexi answered. "But sometimes I prefer she/they. But you can use she/her because some of y'all already shit at grammar."
That's exactly what I tell people when they ask for my pronouns. Istg people are shit at grammar.
alright girl im here to give you a lecture on how someone's dressing doesn't describe their sexuality
OH MY MY GOD THERE WAS A GENDER AND SEXUALITY CLASS IN THE ACADEMY ARE THEY RECRUITING???
One of the boys who had complimented cleared his throat. “So, uh, you don’t like boys?”
“That’s literally what I said,” Lexi rolled her eyes. “I’m gay. I’m very gay. I’m gayer than the Consul. Okay fine, that’s not true. No one gayer than the Consul. But I’m still pretty gay.”
Does the boy have hearing problems?
ALSO YES NO ONE'S GAYER THAN THE CONSUL
“Sexual orientation and gender expression are two different things,” she explained now, remember what Uncle Magnus had taught them. “Sexual orientation refers to who I am sexually and romantically attracted to. Gender expression is how I want to express my gender identity. Those two are not connected. Just because a woman wears feminine clothes it doesn’t mean she is straight. Just because a man embraces femininity, it doesn’t make him gay either. Does that make sense?”
“Ohhh,” the girl nodded. “Yes, it does. Thank you!”
“What I wear does not reflect who I like. It reflects who I am and what I like to wear,” Lexi explained. “And regardless of my sexuality, I like pretty things.”
Exactly.
“This doesn’t change anything. I hope you know that,” he told her. “I mean I have to change the pronouns in my shovel talk. But that’s not a big deal.”
Awwww
Also – my good friend Raziel told me that homophobia is a sin.”
“You mean homosexuality is a sin?” an older man asked.
“No, homophobia is a sin,” Lexi repeated. “That’s what Raziel said.”
“But that’s not-”
Someone cleared their throat. When he spoke, it was in the Consul Voice.
“Are you saying know better than Raziel?” the Consul asked.
Listen to Raziel you dumb shit
“Sure. Let me just call the Lesbian Alliance,” Lexi rolled her eyes.
Ugh I wish
OH NO NO NO NOT THE FAKE DATING. JUST CONFESS AND DATE FOR REAL
“Alexandra, I have a fucking undercut and I have pink highlights and I cuff my jeans and I literally walk around with a sword and I can quote Lady Gaga to perfection! Why would you ever think I was straight??”
Lexi your gaydar is broken bestie.
Don't do this omg this is gonna be a mess
Gigi: THIS IS A BAD IDEA. ABORT! ABORT!
Lexi: Relaaaax. It’s going to be fine!
Gigi: I’ve read enough fanfiction to know the fake dating trope never ends well!
Lexi: I’ve told you to include the ‘angst with happy ending’ tag!
LMAO
Also Gigi which fanfiction do you read?
Jace omg...
That's so him though.
“How about my peeps? It sounds very hip.”
“It does not,” Lexi replied. “Please don’t refer to us as your peeps under any circumstance."
IM SCREAMING ASHSKHSIDBSHSHDH
Her father chuckled at that. “Sweetheart, you’re a Herondale. Being problematic is what we do.”
EXACTLY
Daddy opened the notebook again. “I need names.”
Grabs flamethrower names
“Besides, the Lightwoods and Blackthorns have been hogging the gay genes for too long. Now it’s our turn. I say you gay it up.”
“Gay it up?” Lexi laughed.
“Yeah,” he grinned. “Go for the highest possible level of gay.”
DO IT
He blinked for a second and then it hit him. “OH MY GOD YES! DOES EMMA KNOW??”
Lexi laughed. Yeah, he can never find out it was a fake dating situation.
Hopefully he won't have to because it won't be fake :D
“To love is a privilege and to be loved is a blessing.”
THE GROWTH OH MY GOD
This chapter literally means so much to me. I don't even know what to say. I hope I too can one day have the courage to shout it in front of everyone and not be scared. See ya on Tuesday!
It means so much to me that this chapter meant a lot to you. I hope you find all the courage, strength and support you need. You are amazing.
And here. I made you a playlist.
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You can find it here on YouTube. I hope you like it :)
14 notes · View notes
maria-scribbles · 4 years
Text
loyalty’s all i got | part two
three years ago, you had it all: great friends, good grades, and an almost perfect relationship with your boyfriend, jj. it all came crashing down when your mom relocated your family to california for work and you were forced to trade the outer banks for malibu, leaving your broken heart behind in the place you were just starting to think of as home. now you're back in town for college and to pick up the pieces, hoping to make things right again with your friends and the boy you never stopped loving.
word count: 8.6k+
ship: jj maybank x female!reader, pogue friendship
warnings n stuff: angst angst angst all around (with a happy ending tho!!), the reader being a v. sad girl, mentions of anxiety/depression, failed long distance relationship, drifting apart, self-inflicted loneliness/isolation, the classic trope of 'they broke up but they're still in love with each other' that gives me feels, swearing (it's not my writing unless someone says 'fuck' at least once), reconciliation/mended relationships, traditional cheesy rom-com rain scene 'cause i'm a Dramatic Hoe™
a/n: and here's the second and final part of this looooong two-shot! thank you all so much for reading and i hope you enjoy the finale even though i low key kind of hate it 🙃. fun fact: surfrider beach is a real place in malibu known for its great waves :) also i apologize for how long this took to post, i dropped my laptop and the screen broke so i had to wait for it to get fixed lmao. unbetaed as usual, any mistakes are my b. 
~masterlist~
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part two: like a ghost that no one knew
When you said goodbye to your friends three years ago, you should've known things would never be the same again. You were sixteen, still so young and naïve and full of an almost childlike hope that kept you from seeing the obvious: life wasn't fair. Sometimes, you could be holding all the right cards and still lose the game.
It should've been easy. You had a video chat schedule already figured out, promises of daily texts and Snapchats, a boyfriend willing -enthusiastically willing, in fact- to go long distance and make it work no matter what 'cause you both agreed that what you had was something worth fighting for. You and your friends had weathered many storms together, what was one more? It could've been easy but you underestimated just how cruel California would be.
You traded one coast for the other and watched the sun set over the Pacific alone when you would've given anything to watch it rise over the Atlantic with your friends. It hurt to surf solo but you did it anyway, even though it felt like a damn sucker punch each time you caught yourself scanning the sand for JJ and his proud smile when you successfully caught bigger and bigger waves at Surfrider Beach. 
Long distance was hard. You had days where all you wanted to do was lay on your bed for hours, safely curled up in his arms as he ran his fingers through your hair but you had to settle for his voice over the phone and one of his shirts from your closet instead. You missed everything about him: his pretty eyes that looked like the clearest ocean, the cheeky grin he'd send your way after making a stupid joke that had you affectionately rolling your eyes in exasperation, that adorable flush that spread across his face without fail each and every time you said you loved him. You longed for his constant affection; the way he always wanted to keep you close somehow, his arm around your shoulders, hand in your back pocket, or fingers entwined with yours; how he could never go a day without kissing you. Being apart was nothing short of torture.
"I fucking miss you." He said late one night during a rare FaceTime session -his phone was a piece of shit so he had to 'borrow' John B's whenever he could- and you smiled despite the knife twisting itself deeper and deeper into your heart as you played with the fraying sleeve of his old sweatshirt you wore. 
"I fucking miss you more, J." You whispered back, giggling quietly when he scrunched up his nose in playful skepticism. 
"Yeah, I don't think so, babe. There's no way." 
"Yes, way!"
Although it hurt like hell, you imagined being tangled up with him in the hammock hanging in the Chateau's yard under the North Carolina sky -the light from the moon would turn his blond hair a pale silver as he grinned down at you and cupped your cheek in his hand, closing that final distance between you for a kiss that'd fuel the fire racing through your veins- and you let that fleeting happiness carry you through the night, long after you said goodbye. You fell asleep with your phone in your hand, unaware that your mother had been listening from the other side of your closed door.
You'd been distant from her and your dad in the months since the move, obviously going out of your way to avoid them both by spending all your spare time surfing at the beach, coming home well past sunset and heading straight to your room without a word. They'd taught you forgiveness wasn't something to be given willingly -it had to be earned- and since neither of them had done anything worthy to deserve an absolution, you simply pretended they didn't exist and let yourself stew in your justified anger.
Until the morning after your video date with JJ, they'd wisely given you your space so you were pretty blind sighted to find them both waiting for you at the dining room table, one of your dad's famous cinnamon rolls on a plate set in front of your usual chair. You paused in the middle of tying one of your boyfriend's worn bandanas in your hair before abruptly continuing toward the front door, acting like you didn't see the hopeful looks on their faces that made guilt slowly start to burrow its way into your chest. 
"Y/N, wait," Your dad sprung from his seat and reached his hand out toward your elbow, his face falling when you instantly pulled back and crossed your arms. "Please, let's just talk for a second."
"I'm gonna be late for the bus," You lied and tried for the door again, sighing in frustration when he blocked your path and ushered you toward the table where your mom was sitting, biting her thumbnail. The guilt burrowed deeper: you thought she kicked that habit years ago but there she was, chewing her nail to shreds and it was all because of you (the empty satisfaction you felt knowing you were the cause of her stress made you hate yourself just a little more.).
"Jellybean, don't worry about that. I'll drive you." 
You bristled at the old nickname but sat in the chair your dad pulled out for you anyway. The smell of the cinnamon roll he pushed your way made your mouth water but you refused to eat and kept your eyes down as you played with the stack of bracelets adorning your wrist. "You wanted to talk?" You asked, deciding to just rip the band-aid off all at once 'cause knowing your mom when she was anxious and your dad being allergic to any type of confrontation, you'd have sat there all day until one of them worked up the courage to speak.
"Talk, right." Bill said with a nervous chuckle, shaking his head as he took a seat and swiped his own cinnamon roll from the pan in the middle of the table. "Uh, how are you?"
"Are you serious right now?" You asked incredulously, looking up from your lap with a raised eyebrow. "All this for 'how are you?'" 
"How would we know?" Your mom finally spoke up as she pulled her ruined nail from her mouth, only to start instantly drumming her fingers on the table. "You're always holed up in your room or at the beach, Y/N. You never talk to us anymore."
You rolled your eyes before fixing her with a deadpan stare. "Hmm, I wonder why."
"Honey, you know I'm sorry-"
"Don't, okay? Just don't." You swallowed thickly and dumped the cinnamon roll back into the pan, blinking away the awful burning pressure building behind your eyes. "I can't listen to some half-assed apology that you don't mean!"
"Y/N, we are sorry. Everything's gonna get better, just give it time." Your dad's reply was muffled by a mouthful of pastry and any other time, you'd usually be laughing at his chipmunk cheeks but instead you just stared back down at your hands again, lip quivering as you tried and failed to hold yourself together. You would not cry. You would not cry. You would not-
"Please, honey." Your mom tentatively reached out one hand like she was approaching a wounded animal, her voice so soft you could barely hear it above the rush of blood in your ears. "It hurts us to see you like this-"
Oh, fuck this shit.
"You're hurt?! Are you kidding me?" Your chair scraped along the tile as you rocketed to your feet, vision blurring when the dam finally broke. "You promised we wouldn't move again until after I graduated and you broke that promise. I let myself make friends for once in my goddamn life -I fucking fell in love, Mom! I fell in love with the most amazing boy who, by some miracle loves me, too despite me being a...a complete loser!" You were rambling now but you couldn't find it in yourself to care about or stop the words flying from your mouth. 
"God, I was happy -so, so disgustingly happy it kind of scared me, okay?" You laughed bitterly and roughly wiped the tears from your cheeks, only to have more immediately take their place. "And you didn't even stop to think before you took it all away from me! So don't even talk to me about being hurt 'cause you have no fucking idea!"
Your dad was frozen, eyes the same color as your own blown impossibly wide in the middle of another bite of cinnamon roll while your mom, two tears streaking perfect twin tracks down her cheeks, looked at you like you'd just told her the world was ending -to her, it just might've been but to you, it already had. Neither of them said another word as you snatched your backpack off the couch and stormed from the house, slamming the door behind you.
Halfway to the bus stop, you decided school just wasn't in the cards that day and doubled back, hiding behind the shed in your backyard until your tears had run dry and both of your parents left -Rebekah to the hospital, Bill to wherever he went while you were in class- before heading inside to change into your rash vest and grab your board. Despite it being early Friday morning, Surfrider Beach was full of life and you welcomed the hustle and bustle as you turned off your phone and buried it at the bottom of your bag, leaving your problems behind on the sand. 
You spent the whole day at the beach, blissfully alone and free to do what you wanted, until the sun dipped low in the sky and you were too exhausted to even think about anything but dragging yourself home so you could pass the fuck out. You caught one final wave before heading back to shore, waving goodbye to the group of other kids you'd surfed with all day (the one thing you loved about California: everyone was so chill) and trudged through the sand toward your things where, just as you expected, your sister sat on your towel, clad in a baggy UCLA long-sleeve with her phone in hand. 
"Bitch, you killed it out there!" She looked up as you dropped your board to the ground and sat down heavily beside her, slipping an old Kildare County High School sweatshirt -the first one you ever 'borrowed' from your boyfriend, much to his delight- over your head. "I mean, look at you go!"
You leaned closer to watch the video she took, the barest hint of a smile on your face when you watched yourself perform a near perfect cutback on the screen. "That's 'cause I had the best teacher." 
Daisy tagged you and posted it to Instagram before you could protest, then tossed the phone back into her bag and turned to you with a forced cheerfulness that kind of made you want to smack her. "So..."
"Mom and Dad sent you to clean up their mess." You finished quietly, tucking your knees to your chest and wrapping your arms around them as your sister sighed dramatically and offered a sympathetic wince. 
"As always." She copied your position and you both stared out at the sun sinking over the water, its fading rays turning the sky brilliant shades of orange and pink. It was typical of your parents to send Daisy after you when you were upset -after all, you'd both been each other's only friend for over half your lives- and normally, you'd be glad to see your sister's friendly face instead of your mom's or dad's. That evening, though? All you felt was...disappointment.
"Guess they really don't give a shit about me." You mumbled under your breath, half-hoping Daisy didn't hear you but from the way she snapped her head in your direction, you didn't get your wish.
"Y/N, that's not it. They're just..."
"Just what? Pretending that they didn't stab me in the back? Acting like everything's all hunky-dory and they actually cared about my feelings?" 
You hastily wiped at your face when your sister silently looped an arm around your shoulders and tucked you against her side, her fingers running soothingly through the ends of your damp hair as you vented all of your frustrations -everything you'd kept locked deep inside your heart- until your voice was hoarse and the sun had long disappeared from the horizon and you had no tears left to cry.
"You have no idea what it's like, being so lonely it hurts to breathe. It hurts knowing Mom and Dad have each other and you have Daniel and I'm alone all the time." You lifted your head from her shoulder and rubbed your red eyes with your sleeve. "Worst part is, they just keep acting like I'll wake up one day and magically be okay and everything'll be all sunshine and rainbows again." 
"First off, I wanna say that I'm sorry for not making more time for you. I knew you were struggling and I'm a terrible big sister for not being here for you like I should have," You squeezed Daisy's other hand in thanks as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, her voice soft and steady like the waves crashing against the shore. "Second, I definitely don't think Mom and Dad are handling this the way they should, but I think they're trying in the only way they know how. That should count for something, right?"
You sighed and tugged the sleeves of your sweatshirt over your hands. "I guess, but they haven't even tried to see where I'm coming from and they don't get that I'm not the only one they hurt. If I have to hear one more half-assed apology, I'm gonna lose my shit. Again."
"I'm not saying you have to forgive them right away 'cause I sure as hell wouldn't until they say they're sorry and mean it. But..." She said, pulling you to your feet and shaking the sand from the towel you were sitting on, "you shouldn't keep shutting them out, okay? It's not healthy."
You tucked your board under your arm as Daisy grabbed your bag and swung it onto her shoulder before you both started walking toward the parking lot. "What if I'm never ready to forgive them?"
"That's a question I don't have the answer to." She said with a shrug. "You've gotta figure that one out for yourself."
So you followed your sister's advice. You were civil and gradually, your relationship with your parents improved until you could stand to be in the same room as them and even carry on a short conversation, even though you knew you'd probably never be able to fully trust them again. You caught them exchanging glances you could only describe as wounded when you often turned down their invitations to go to the movies or get ice cream or other things you used to love doing when you were younger but for the most part, they took it in stride and you were grateful for their little efforts. Forgiveness wasn't in the cards quite yet but with each passing day, you felt the icy wall around your heart slowly start to melt away.
But every time you thought you were taking one step forward, life pushed you two steps back. Just when you were getting things back on track with your family, the train went flying off the rails when it came to your friends and it was all your fault.
It wasn't like you didn't try -God, did you try- to keep yourself from falling back into old habits but Malibu just had a way of bringing out the absolute worst in you. Your old self, the girl who kept to herself and pushed everyone away, someone you thought you buried in the deepest grave, slowly came back from the dead with a vengeance little by little, so subtly you didn't realize what was happening until it was too late. 
One missed phone call turned into two, texts went unanswered for days or not at all, FaceTime sessions happened less and less. The last video chat had been with Kiara and it ended terribly, after you blew up at her for mending her friendship with Sarah Cameron in the near two years since you'd been gone, spitting words you couldn't quite remember -something along the lines of 'didn't take you too long to replace me, huh' and calling the blonde girl a 'heinous bitch'- but knew you regretted with everything you had and hanging up before she had a chance to explain. You couldn't even recall the last time you talked to Pope or John B aside from the occasional Snapchat and your daily calls with JJ had turned to once a week, if you were lucky.
He was trying, you could tell, and so were you but the deck was stacked against you and you were never very good at cards, anyway. It hurt to try, it hurt not to try, everything just hurt. Nearly two years apart had done their damage and coupled with your debilitating fear of being forgotten that clawed at your chest like a rabid dog, your relationship was on unstable ground and for the first time in almost four years, you were thinking about the end. It wasn't like you didn't love him anymore (holy shit, were you still completely head over heels in love). In fact, you loved him so much you realized that he could do so, so much better than you and the thought rested heavy and bittersweet on your mind, lurking in the shadows until you were ready to bring it to light.
It happened on New Year's Eve. Alone in your room, your hands shook as you answered JJ's call at midnight, his voice tired and a little hoarse from celebrating the new year three hours earlier on the opposite coast and you nearly started crying right then and there when you replied with a shaky "I think we need to talk."
"Babe, what's wrong?"
You took a deep breath and said quietly, "Everything."
"Talk to me." The pure concern in those three words nearly convinced you to call it off, to tell him to forget you said anything and that you were fine, everything was just fine but deep down, you knew you couldn't.
"I've been thinking about us and I...I just think that you deserve better than me. Someone who can actually be there for you when you need her and hold you when your dad's an asshole and see you every day. Someone who can laugh at your silly jokes and share a joint with you and clean you up when you get into fights defending your friends-"
"Babe, what are you talking about? That girl is you."
"Maybe I was but I'm not anymore and I don't think I have been since I left. I just can't be the girl you want, I can't be the girl you deserve, J -I'm a total fucking mess and you can do so, so much better than me."
"Y/N."
You didn't know you were crying until you heard the broken way he breathed your name and salt water dripped from your chin onto the bracelet around your wrist. 
"...are you breaking up with me?" His voice was impossibly small, the quietest you'd ever heard it and the exact moment your battered heart shattered into pieces was when you realized he didn't even put up a fight. 
"I think so." The words tore through you like a gunshot as you cried, curling into yourself on the bed in an effort to ward off the worst pain you'd ever felt in your life and you wondered if it was possible to die from a wound that wasn't even physical. 
He was quiet for a long time, so long you thought he hung up without you noticing through your tears, until he sniffed on the other end of the line.
"Guess we had a pretty good run, huh?" He asked with a watery chuckle and you found yourself giving a tiny, shuddering giggle in response -God, even when you were breaking his heart he still managed to make you laugh.
"The best, baby." The pet name slipped out like second nature and you winced, hastily trying to cover your mistake with an awkward cough but from the sharp breath you heard him take, he'd heard it anyway.
("I'm sorry," you said, and it stood as an apology for more than just your slip-up.)
"I love you, Y/N. Probably always will."
"I'll never stop loving you, JJ. That's a promise."
You let yourself believe him as you laid there bleeding from a gash you couldn't see, a wound you knew would never heal, and you hoped he let himself believe you, too, even when you ended the call without another word and threw your phone away from you, not bothering to see where it landed. The sound of your heavy, broken sobs filled the room and you didn't even mind when your mom, who you knew had been listening from the other side of your closed door like always, barged in and took you into her arms, stroking your hair as you cried into her lap.
If you were supposed to avoid getting hurt by leaving first, why did it feel like everything in you was broken? If you were making the right choice, why did it feel so wrong? You didn't have the answers and no matter how hard you searched, you knew you'd ever find them.  
So you tried to stay busy. You joined the surf club at school, got a part-time job at the local aquarium, did anything you could to distract yourself from the hurt and the guilt and the way getting out of bed every morning was the hardest thing to do. Surf club introduced you to Mackenzie, the one girl who was more ostracized at school -an even richer version of the kook academy you hated -than you, her for being freakishly tall and you for your East Coast attitude, and the two of you became fast, if reluctant friends. Mack didn't try to stitch the gaping hole in your heart caused by your absent friends but she numbed the pain just enough to make it bearable and you were grateful for her calm, steady presence at your side, even as you both tried to keep each other at arm's length.  
Later, you found out she was just like you, friendless and awkward with no self-esteem and a tendency to push people away, and that just cemented your friendship through the summer and your final year of high school.
Mack told you all about her life, growing up with no siblings, having height that she never learned to deal with, and a debilitating social anxiety that made making friends near impossible, and in turn you told her about how you hopped from town to town on your mother's whims, the wonderful friends you let slip away, and the beautiful boyfriend you loved enough to let go, and you both cried together for the lives you could've led.
"You two looked so happy," She said during the first sleepover you hosted as she held one of the many picture frames littering your dresser, her lips turned upwards in a small smile.
You gently took the frame from her hands and ran your fingers over the grinning face of your ex-boyfriend, his arms wrapped around your shoulders as your painted lips planted a deep red kiss on his cheek, and the wave of longing washing over you was almost strong enough to bring you to your knees. "It was the happiest I've ever been."
"Do you miss him?"
"So much it hurts."
i miss you.
i'm so sorry.
i still love you.
You'd typed and erased those texts every day but never mustered the courage to hit send and you couldn't decide if that was a blessing in disguise or the worst possible curse. Of course you still loved JJ: you promised you would and even if you didn't, you couldn't stop if you tried. He was your first love, the boy you so willingly gave your whole heart and then some; you still kept his ring on your thumb -the one he gave you at the airport the day you left- and his bracelet around your wrist, his bandanas in your hair and his face in your dreams and you knew you always would.
Before you could blink, your eighteenth birthday flew by and graduation was upon you.
You thought the second you were done with high school you'd be gone, heading straight back to the Outer Banks and the life you left behind but you found yourself stalling on sending in an application to UNC -Chapel Hill until you missed the deadline for the fall semester. On the outside, you made up a semi-legit excuse about getting your basic courses done at a community college to save money but deep down you really knew why you procrastinated: you were terrified to go back. Ever since your break up with JJ, you hadn't spoken to him or any of your old friends other than the obligatory birthday wishes on Facebook and you wondered if the damage you'd done over the years was too much to come back from, even as you tried to work up the courage to find out for sure.
Another year passed: in between earning college credits, you and Daisy took a sister's trip to Disneyland, Mack asked you to tag along on a jaunt up the coast to San Francisco to see Alcatraz, your parents celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary (your gift was long-overdue forgiveness and they said it was the greatest thing you possibly could've given them). When the time came, you and Mack both sent out your applications to UNC -you for biology, her for chemistry- and the myriad of emotions you felt when you got in was nothing short of dizzying. The old you was terrified, screaming at you to rip up the letter and join your sister at UCLA instead of opening old wounds but the hopeful you, the girl who lived without fear, the girl who fell in love and let herself be loved, screamed louder.
And so you killed the old you once again, burying her even deeper than the last time in a locked chest and throwing the key as far as you could out into the Pacific where you knew you'd never find it. You clutched your acceptance letter close to your chest and took a step east, away from California and toward the place where your broken heart still rested, scattered in pieces across the sand.
Settling in at UNC was surprisingly easy. You and Mack already clicked pretty well as friends so making the transition to roommates was natural and, dare you say it, even a little fun and the two of you quickly fell into a comfortable routine in your tiny apartment off campus in Chapel Hill. Comfortable and yet...that happiness you once felt all those years ago was missing from your life and you found yourself just as restless as you were in Malibu. While you knew exactly what you needed to do, that fear kept rearing its ugly head in the back of your mind, poisoning your thoughts: what if they wouldn't be happy to see you, what if they forgot about you, what if they hated you? What if he hated you?
It was terrifying, picturing yourself turning up at the Chateau with a hopeful smile only to have the door slammed right in your face. Deep down, you knew they'd never do that to you no matter how badly you'd hurt them but when you'd spent your whole life expecting the worst, taking a leap of faith wasn't an easy feat -something Mack just couldn't wrap her head around.
"I don't get it."
You glanced up from where you were lounging on your bed, flipping through your biology notes in preparation for your lab exam the next morning and shot your roommate a confused look. "Get what?”
Mack sat at your desk, her own notebooks lying ignored as she spun the chair around to face you, arms crossed. "Why you haven't hopped on that ferry to go get your man yet!"
You froze for a moment too long before offering a half-hearted shrug as you fiddled with the beads at the end of your bracelet. "It's not that easy. He probably wants nothing to do with me and I don't blame him."
"How do you know? You haven't talked to JJ in over a year, right?" At your tight nod, she continued, "What if he's just like you-"
"Depressed?"
Mack fixed you with a flat, unamused look. "Still in love, dumbass."
You scoffed and propped your chin in your hand as you glanced back down at your study guide, trying not to latch onto that little thought -hope and pain all rolled into one- that sparked to life at her words. He'd said he would probably always love you that New Year's Eve and back then you'd let yourself believe him but now, you weren't so sure. "Yeah, right. No way he's still...still in love with me after I broke his heart."
"Maybe he is, maybe he isn't," Your roommate said with a shrug, spinning around on the chair to grab her things. "You'll never know if you don't get over there, track his fine ass down, and talk to him."
You stared down at your notes without actually seeing anything, the slanted letters of your handwriting blurring before your eyes as the other girl flipped her chemistry book closed and stood, shooting you an warm smile that you didn't see. 
"Listen, Y/N, you're my best friend and I want to see you happy more than anything but I can't take that jump for you. Yeah, it's scary and nerve wracking and you might end up hurt worse than before, so what? That's just...life."
Mack left after that, crossing the apartment to her room so she could get ready for a date with a girl from her psych class, leaving you alone with tears on your face and a million thoughts in your head, all of them terrifying and exciting and oh so loud.
She was right, of course -Mack always knew the right thing to say- and as you stared down at the bracelets on your wrists and the ring on your thumb, the pictures on your phone and the too-big shirt hanging off one shoulder, you realized sitting around moping wasn't gonna solve anything; if you wanted your happiness, your friends, the love of your life back, you needed to step up and fight for them with everything you had. And so you wiped the tears from your cheeks and walked to the cliff's edge with your head held high, ready for the fall and whatever came with it. You were ready to fix your mistakes, no matter how badly it might hurt.
Still, you couldn't do it all on your own. You needed some help to make things right again and while you knew just who to ask, you weren't quite sure if they'd be willing to lend a hand. Desperate times called for desperate measures though and you penned a good old-fashioned letter, feeling like a heroine in a Jane Austen novel as you poured all your thoughts -your dreams, wishes, hopes- onto a piece of paper in bold blue ink and sent it off to its destination on Figure 8, your Hail Mary for a happy ending sealed up neatly in a single envelope.
Mack, bless her heart, did her best to keep your spirits up as you waited on a response but even her ever reassuring presence couldn't keep you from worrying as one week passed by, then two. Halfway through the third you'd almost given up, already wracking your brain for another way to make your plan work when your phone chimed with a text from an unknown number.
i'll help you
And just like that, the moment you'd been waiting for was finally within your reach; you told your parents not to expect you for Thanksgiving break, called your sister for a much needed pep talk, and started counting down the days until you'd see your friends again, for better or worse.
When you left the Outer Banks three years ago, it was sunny. You were sixteen, young and in love and scared about the future.
When you returned, it was in the middle of a storm. You were nineteen, a little bit older but no less in love and definitely still scared about what was waiting for you at the end of the road.
Rain pounded against the roof of Sarah Cameron's SUV as she drove away from the docks and toward the Chateau, her fingers tapping along to the music playing quietly through the radio. You sat in the passenger seat, soaked to the bone from your ferry ride from the mainland and shaking like a leaf despite the towel wrapped around your shoulders and the warm air flowing from the car's vents.
"Thanks for coming to get me," You said, wincing at the awkward lilt of your voice echoing in the small space as you spun JJ's ring around your thumb and stared out the windshield at the familiar sights streaking by in blurred shades of green and brown. Being back opened a Pandora's box of emotions in your head, both good and bad, and instead of trying to sort them out, you let them bounce around in your brain like a pinball machine and concentrated on methodically twirling the warm metal ring in circles on your finger.
Sarah briefly glanced away from the road to shoot you a small smile, her kind eyes softening at your visible nervousness. "Not gonna lie, I was pretty sure you hated me so when I got your letter it kinda...threw me for a loop. Sorry it took me so long to reply."
You wished the heated leather seat would swallow you whole as you winced again and wrapped the towel tighter around your shoulders. "For the longest time, I thought I did hate you but I realized I was just...scared of losing my friends and I took it out on you. You didn't deserve to be labeled the villain in my story when I was the one, um, sabotaging myself, I guess." You took a deep breath and picked at a loose thread tickling your arm. "And I'm really, really grateful for your help."
It was more than you wanted to admit out loud -nearly the same words were written in the letter peeking out from the center console of the car- but at the same time, you knew it was what needed to be said and from the way the blonde girl's fingers stopped tapping against the steering wheel, she knew she needed to hear it. At a red light, she quickly tapped out a text on her phone before tossing in back into her bag with another tiny grin in your direction.
"Happy to help. For what it's worth, I'm so sorry if I made you feel like you were being replaced, I never intended to hurt you or steal your friends or...or, I don't know, usurp-" 
"Sarah, stop. Please," You held up a hand to cut off her apology and offered her a self-deprecating smile. "I'm the one who's sorry. I let my...jealousy get the best of me and I feel so bad about all the shit I said 'cause that wasn't fair to you at all and I hope you can forgive me-"
"Y/N, there's nothing to forgive! We all say stupid shit when we're mad -trust me, I know." She interrupted with a bubbly, contagious giggle that seemed to scare away the gloomy storm clouds gathered over your head for a moment in time. "But I was never pissed at you, ever. I just want you to know that."
Stunned, you settled deeper into the seat and started playing with your ring again as she kept driving on, unbothered by your lack of response. You felt like you were thirteen again, back when Sarah and Kiara were your only friends, before the birthday disaster and the whole pogue versus kook feud that got completely out of hand; it felt...nice and you found yourself hoping that the blonde girl would still want to be your friend again, no matter what the others thought about your sudden return. 
"Thank you."
Sarah gave no indication she heard your quiet confession of gratitude but from the way you watched her smile grow out of the corner of your eye, you knew she did. The rest of the drive passed in companionable silence as you retreated into your own thoughts, your nerves getting worse and worse the closer you got to your destination.
You took a deep breath and let it out slowly through your nose, feeling like your heart was trying to beat its way through your rib cage. You hadn't been this anxious in a long, long time, so long you almost forgot how much you hated the tightness in your chest, how your palms would start to sweat, the way you'd chew the inside of your cheek until you tasted blood on your tongue. By the time Sarah pulled into an open spot beside the achingly familiar Volkswagen parked in front of the Chateau, you were surprised you were still able to breathe.
The sight of the tiny house, one you spent so many carefree days and beautiful nights in alongside your friends, standing virtually unchanged in front of you was like a shot to the heart and your hands, curled into fists on your lap, began to shake without warning. Shit, you were a godforsaken mess; how the hell were you supposed to do this without having a mental breakdown?
"I'm so scared."
The whispered words, barely audible over the torrential rain against the roof, slipped from your mouth before you could stop them and Sarah slowly reached one hand over to give your trembling wrist a reassuring squeeze, the corners of her mouth curled upward in a slight smile.
"Don't be. They're gonna be so happy to see you!"
You turned to look at her, eyebrows knit together in disbelief. "How are you so sure they still care about me?"
"I'm sure 'cause I've seen it. My God, if only you could've heard all the times they talked about you -'I wish Y/N was here,' 'remember that time with Y/N,' hell, just straight 'I miss Y/N so fucking much,'" She said bluntly and shifted in the driver's seat to face you head on, smiling wider at the thunderstruck look on your face. "Pretty sure I haven't gone a week without JJ saying that last one at least once." 
"I thought..." You paused, tongue darting out to run over your dry lips as you tried to put your jumbled feelings into words, "I thought he'd hate me -I mean, after all I've done, you think he still..."
"Loves you? Are you kidding?" Her reply was so enthusiastic it was hard not to believe her as she went on, her words like sunshine brightening the darkest corners of your mind. "He's still head over heels, I've never seen him even look at another girl in three damn years. You know he still wears your necklace, the one with the silver star? Kie told me all about it."
"I-I didn't." You remembered giving it to him the day you left, managing a shaky smile through your tears as you carefully clasped it around his neck, your fingers running over his skin as you settled the charm perfectly alongside that little shark tooth you'd grown to love.
('Be careful with this, baby. It's my favorite.' You had said, crying harder when he'd taken off one of his rings and slipped it onto your thumb.
'Well, this one's my favorite so take good care of it, okay?' His voice had been light but his eyes were heavy with unspoken words that you'd heard loud and clear because you knew your gaze said the exact same things.
don't let me go
don't break my heart
don't stop loving me)
You coughed to disguise the fat tears that started rolling down your face, quickly wiping them away with your sleeve but the blonde girl wasn't fooled as she gave your hand another friendly squeeze.
"Come on, they're probably wondering what's taking me so long," She sent a conspiratorial wink your way and grabbed her bag from the center console. "I told them I was picking up some pizzas but I have a funny feeling they won't be too pissed that I lied."
With a desperate grip on the strap of your backpack and your heart racing, you trailed behind Sarah through the rain to the front porch. 
"Ready?" She glanced back where you lingered at the top of the stairs, anxiously shuffling from foot to foot, and shot you a smile that did little to calm your nerves. "Just wait here!"
She knocked on the door before you could reply and yelled loud enough to be heard over the pouring rain, "Hey, it's me! Can somebody get the door? My hands are kinda full."
"Got it!"
Your bag slipped from your fingers and fell onto the porch with a loud thump at the sound of the voice floating through the open windows, a voice you heard nearly every night as you slept, in your dreams of a future you wanted with everything you had. You knew it better than your knew your own, knew every pitch and tone and lilt; quiet and raspy in the mornings when you woke up in each other's arms, loud and carefree during long days spent under the golden sun with the rest of your friends, soft and warm and laid bare at night when he showed how much he loved you with more than just words.
Sarah gave you an enthusiastic thumbs up before stepping to the side just as the door opened and you suddenly found yourself struggling to breathe as you stared into the wide blue eyes of your ex-boyfriend. JJ stared right back, one of the hands you used to hold clenched so tight around the doorknob his knuckles were white, the lips you used to kiss parted in surprise, the blond hair you used to run your fingers through falling onto his forehead like always and the familiar, beautiful sight of him standing close enough to touch made your knees weak.
"You're not pizza."
It was such a JJ thing to say and you didn't know whether to laugh or cry as you swallowed thickly and shook your head. "Sorry to disappoint you."
"I'm not."
"Oh."
Hope flared white hot in your chest at his words but it quickly started to fade, replaced by fear when he made no move toward you, his fingers still gripping tight to the door, and you felt your face start to heat in embarrassment as Sarah looked back and forth between the two of you like she was watching a tennis match. 
God, you were so stupid. What did you expect would happen, showing up out of the blue after over a year of no contact? Everything would fall into place again with just one long, heavy look? Believing it could be that easy turned you into a complete and total fool, tongue-tied and insecure and weak.
"Yo, what's the hold up?" John B's voice asked from inside the house and Sarah leaned down to call through the open window, "Come out here and find out!"
A wave of dizziness hit you like a truck and you took a sudden step back toward the stairs, arms wrapping around your stomach as it twisted itself into knots. "I'm sorry, I-I shouldn't have come. This was a mistake." You didn't notice the stricken look that crossed JJ's face or the three familiar, stunned expressions that appeared behind him in the darkened doorway before turning away and stumbling off the porch toward the road, leaving your bag behind and you definitely didn't notice how you barely made it off the bottom stair before a set of footsteps hastily gave chase. 
"It wasn't a mistake, Y/N!" JJ's desperate voice stopped you in your tracks, halfway across the yard with more than just rain running down your face. "Not to me, never to me."
His soft touch on your wrist sent shockwaves through your body and you instantly became putty in his hands, letting him turn you around without a fight to face him, watching in fascination as the downpour started to darken his gray shirt and flatten his hair against his forehead. Three years hadn't changed much about him -he was a little taller, hair a little longer, the muscles in his arms a little more defined- and when you met his wide-eyed gaze, beads of rain dripping from his long eyelashes like diamonds, you wondered if he was thinking about the differences time created between the younger you of the past and the you of the right now, too.
"Oh." You repeated dumbly, struggling for something, anything to say that didn't make you sound like an illiterate fool. Even at nineteen, words still weren't your strong suit so you let your actions speak for you as your hand reached out on its own accord to caress the silver star still clasped around his neck, the thumb still wearing his ring brushing slowly against the dip between his collarbones; he shivered, and you weren't really sure if it was from your touch or the cold. 
"Y/N." JJ said your name like a prayer, like he couldn't believe you were there in front of him, and you inhaled sharply when both of his hands slowly, carefully moved to cup your face, his calloused thumbs habitually wiping the tears from your cheeks over and over, even as more instantly replaced the ones he swept away. "I fucking missed you."
You stood there, looking like a damned drowned rat with your hair dripping into your eyes, shivering in your soaked jeans and Kildare County High School sweatshirt, the love of your life cradling your face so gently in his hands, and so many things you wanted to say flooding your brain but only the one that mattered the most managed to get by your trembling lips.  
"I'm still in love with you." 
You noticed a lot when you put your heart on the line: the steady, soothing sound of water falling through the trees, the bright, clean taste of rain on your tongue, how the sun was just barely starting to peek out from behind the stormy clouds, but they all paled in comparison to the little things you noticed about the boy in front of you; blue irises made even brighter by the red rimming his eyes, how he stepped closer on the wet grass until the tips of his scuffed boots touched your worn gray high tops, the way his hands trembled ever so slightly against your flushed face. 
"Well, it's your lucky day 'cause I'm still in love with you, too."
All of the breath left your lungs in one big rush when JJ smiled hopefully -oh, how you loved everything about that smile: his slightly crooked teeth, that dimple in his cheek, the endearing pink blush swept across his nose- and you felt yourself return it without a second thought, your own hope once again burning bright in your chest.
"Even after...everything?" Your voice shook like the fingers you slid into the hair at his nape and he leaned down to rest his forehead against yours, close enough you could feel his breath on your lips when he spoke.
"I told you I'd always love you, didn't I?"
You nodded, a delicious shiver running down your spine when he tilted his head just so and gently bumped your nose with his. You remembered all the times he did that through the years, a dizzying slideshow of memories that flashed through your mind like lightning, and your fingers wove themselves deeper in his hair. 
"I have so many things to apologize for," You said with a tiny, quiet shake of your head, tearing your eyes away from his in shame and staring over his shoulder toward where the rest of your friends watched from the porch, all crowded together at the top of the stairs with identical enthralled expressions on their faces. "There are so many mistakes I've made and people I've hurt and I have no idea how to even start saying sorry for it all." 
"Babe."
The sound of your old pet name caused your gaze to snap right back to his and your heart felt like it was about to beat right out of your chest when one of his hands trailed down the sensitive skin of your neck and then lower until it traced along the curve of your hip and left a line of fire in its wake.
"We'll figure that out later, okay?" JJ said as his fingers tucked a loose strand of wet hair behind your ear, a coy, ardent grin on his face. "'Cause I've been waiting three years to kiss you again and if I don't get to do it soon, I'm gonna lose my fucking mind."
You smiled -a wide, joyful, elated smile- and rose up on your tiptoes in anticipation. "Then kiss me." 
You didn't have to tell him twice. His lips pressed against yours desperately, like he needed you to breathe, like you were the very air in his lungs, religiously, like your mouth was the altar and he was there to worship as he pulled you close, the fingers of one hand tangling in your hair while the others dug into your hip. You kissed him back just as hard and the familiar taste of him on your tongue -mint, smoke, salt- sent that dearly missed spark racing through your veins like wildfire.
It was a little cliché, having your long-awaited reunion kiss in the rain but it was honest and candid and real and so much better than anything you could've dreamed. You lost yourself in his touch like you used to, clinging to him like a lifeline and pouring your whole heart into every fierce brush of your lips against his, both of you pulling away for a moment only to dive right back in each time. It was addictive, intoxicating, and you could've spent the rest of your life standing there in the middle of the yard and kissing like there was no tomorrow if a loud, ear-piercing wolf whistle hadn't come from the direction of the porch.
The two of you broke apart just barely, with foreheads still pressed together and swollen lips, and you couldn't stop yourself from giggling when JJ blindly flipped the bird over his shoulder before pulling you back in for another eager kiss that filled your whole body with an exhilarating, heavenly heat that never faded, even after four enthusiastic voices suddenly surrounded you like an excited swarm of nosy, buzzing bees.
"You aren't the only one who missed her, J." Kiara said, smiling widely as you reached out to grab her hand and pull her into a powerful one-armed hug, her chin resting on your shoulder.
"Yeah, stop hogging all the love!" John B added, throwing himself into the pile along with Pope, who slung an arm around your shoulders as he said, "Great to have you back, Y/N."
Sarah was the last to join and she quietly tucked herself under John B's arm with a pleased grin on her face, nodding when you mouthed 'thank you' in her direction. The six of you stood there in the rain, smiling like fools, and as the sun started to scare away the dark clouds overhead and in your heart, a weight you didn't even realize had been crushing your chest slowly began to lift away with each freeing breath. 
You still had a lot of work to do: wrongs to be righted, apologies to be made, explanations -not excuses- to be given for every shitty thing you did in your past. But as happy tears started streaming down your face once again and you felt the arms of the friends you’d thought were lost to you forever tighten around you at the sight, you knew in your bones all would be forgiven. You knew that after three long years, you'd finally come home.
-
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mihorapendeja · 3 years
Text
happier than ever | tsukishima x you
the one shot in which tsukishima basically falls for a female version of everyone's favorite sunny tangerine.
genre: fluff/soft core smut lmao i haven't done this in years i feel silly but here you go
pairing(s): kei tsukishima x you (referred to as "ria kihira" in part 1 bc this was originally going to be an OC thing but nvm a/n's: show this some love and interaction pls.
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PART 1: THE PAST
❝Again?❞ Even though Tsukishima complained again, this time he made it easier for her as he even stood completely still. Such a good boy.
❝Let her beat your face!❞ Shoyo exclaimed as she smiled in delight, then moving on to pat the powder puff on his stupid face. Of course she only took a few seconds for him, but all the time in the world for Hinata.
While the two chirped about the new reboot trailer for Dexter, Kuroo's sleazy self slid beside his lanky child with an extra smug look on his face. That man was a menace.
❝Say, don't you think they look related?❞
Tsukishima was a difficult man to catch off guard, but right then and there, a mini existential crisis kicked in. His eyes darted back and forth between Shoyo and Ria Kihira, the makeup artist on set for the commercial filming day.
Kei knew Kuroo was a slut for all the pretty things in life — he constantly had a trope of hot women surrounding him.
But this time, he'd really outdone himself.
Not a stupid man entirely, a huge shit-eating grin formed on Tetsuro's face. He followed Kei's eyes who desperately wandered back and forth their matching hair, skin tone, lack of height... "please let it be a mere coincidence because it's bad enough that—" Kei shut his own intrusive mind from further thinking as he slapped his hand over Kuroo's mouth shut. Tight.
That hyena laugh was not being unleashed today.
THE STORY OF HOW YOU MET:
ca. 2019, on set of a commercial for one of Kuroo's production companies. After Tetsuro had defeated Kei in a game of beer pong, he had to comply with the loser's bet -- be part of the damn commercial along with Shoyo, for a viewership boost. So he said. Ria was the makeup artist on set that day, and it pretty much went from Tsuki acting like a feral cat who didn't want to be touched by any makeup tools, to blissfully passing out in a chair while she gently stroked his face with a soft powder brush.
Near the end of the day when he'd no longer back away from her with animosity, it was Kuroo's stupidly astute observation that left him rattled. The boy was put into a choke hold because he refused to like someone with the same orange hair and milky skin tone as Hinata. Someone equally bright, bubbly, and stupid ... yeah that refusal didn't last long. Ria spoke her mind so freely, being direct but never pleading because she respected herself in that regard. He liked that and before Kei knew it, he found himself admitting to her that he was, "actually quite fond of you." She understood it was his way of saying those pesky 3 words, 8 letters.
PART 2: THE PRESENT, 3 YEARS LATER.
THE ALARM CLOCK rang it’s deathly siren like tone, nearly sending you into cardiac arrest. Although he defensively stretched an arm out over your chest as if ready to protect, Kei did not get up.
Of course he wouldn't.
Like every morning at 4am, it was you who suffered the most when getting out of bed to grab the phone to silence that torture down. As you had deeply sighed and turned to face the bed, Tssuki was now face up with the covers all the way up to his nose.
Even in your groggy state, you could tell he was smirking. That smug bastard stared at you intently, dead still. While Kei typically minded his own business and was at times thought of as quiet, the boy was definitely not shy. You wouldn't call him a total flirt, but he could so hold onto a gaze without so little as batting a long eyelash.
Kei was, extremely competitive. Lightning would have to strike his literal eyes to keep them from staring at you, specifically at your curvy thighs.
The way your soft cotton shorts rode up them was always a very pleasant sight, so he just kept staring, happily.
He loved that little penguin walk you busted into every morning when shutting the alarm off.
It’s like you couldn’t balance properly, and he swore that you were always shorter looking in the early hours of the day. He didn’t know how you could lack more height than you already did at barely 5 feet 2, but it always seemed that way.
It was especially cute, like he could just grab you and keep you in the palm of his hand.
Tired, you sat back down on the bed. You scooted until meeting the headboard, and then just let her head dip back.
It was so incredibly peaceful until you could no longer ignore his obvious glaring. “If you’re awake already, why don’t you get up?”
“It’s barely 4:05,
we don’t go in till 5am.”
He said so factually that you just deeply exhaled. Tssuki was definitely not a morning person, and neither were you.
Even though you were much more energetic, it was a Friday and you could not wait for the end of the workday already.
While Tssuki could be late to practice because let's be honest, few would even confront him, you could not pull off the same irresponsibility.
You cared way too much, and in general, hated the feeling of being late to anything. "Come on." You murmured, nudging Kei as he completely ignored you and kept on sleeping.
You waited for another minute before climbing out of bed, grabbing his attention once again. This time, your black shorts were scrunched further up. So far up that your ample ass cheeks were out in all their glory.
“Arigato, thank you god.”
Nishinoya would say.
“Well I’m not as naturally good looking as you so I’m gonna go shower and start getting ready.”
You huffed, truly riling Kei up inside. Hearing you say that genuinely made something inside of his stomach stir, so he instinctively reached out towards your wrist.
Even in the dark room, he could see your face clearly and tell you weren’t joking. "The fuck is wrong with her?" He thought, not angry, but extremely concerned because you weren't fishing for a compliment.
The two of you had been together for over 3 years now, and so he more than knew that you were not that kind of girl.
Yes, you lacked height at 5’2, but you were physically strong. Literally, you could carry all the grocery bags in one go with no issues. Lifting abilities? Check.
Even though Tssuki cruelly chose the apartment with extra high kitchen shelves, you would never ask for help to reach for stuff. "Help I can't reach" was not a phrase that existed in your world.
Literally, he’d sometimes walk in for some juice and find you on top of a chair reaching for something, if not on the literal counter tops to store items.
Independent? Check.
Resourceful? Check.
On top of all that, you had a voluptuous body he thought was fucking scrumptious. He understood that the norms for women in Japan could be vicious, especially if you weren’t a slender door like he was, but despite your insecurities, you still wore it all so well. You didn’t let it stop you from wearing whatever you wanted (as you should).
At times he did think you were a little bit stupid for fretting over such body image issues, but Tssuki was okay with that.
He didn’t want a know it all like himself, that be beyond insufferable.
Before he knew it, you were teaching him a thing or two as well. So Tssuki then knew you were not a vapid pick me girl, and that was honestly a pretty big turn on for him.
SPEAKING OF TURN ons, Kei found it incredibly hot to have you pinned beneath him, like you currently were.
It wasn’t an ingenue kink, to have you below him so submissively and weak, no. It was the way you fought to assert yourself, and the way you writhed. The way you tried to break free was no half assed attempt either.
Sometimes you'd even throw in a few knees into it, and Tssuki didn't mind it one bit. Two dominate personalities, things were always bound to be feisty in bed.
This time however, he sensed some a defeat in your soul.
Convinced to rekindle your spirits, his brows furrowed as he lowered himself closer to your pretty face.
“Take that back.” Tssuki growled in a low, oh so sexy deepened morning voice.
“I can’t, It’s true.” You protested, sighing as he pulled himself away only to then wrap his arms around your waist and throw you over his shoulders.
Misreading the situation, you first protested before breaking into full on laughter as he stormed into the shower with you still dangling, kicking your short legs in the air.
You had thought this was playful Tssuki, the version no one was too familiar with.
Except you … and Yamaguchi. You and Yams lived to exchange Tssuki-isms.
You were mistaken when trying to approach him as he had stripped entirely. God, you so badly wanted to touch his defined chest and close the space between —and that’s when your favorite salt mine smirked as he instinctively reached back to swivel the shower handle on.
Grabbing the detachable shower heard, Tssuki sprayed you down.
"That son of a bitch." You thought, having jumped back in shock, literally. The water was so fucking cold.
Tssuki raised a brow, testing you. On one hand, he thought you looked like a helpless kitten that was abandoned on some random parking lot on a rainy day.
He was an asshole, but if he ever came across a lonely stray cat, he'd so scoop it up and take home for some warm milk.
On the other hand, he thought you looked even more hot with the way your baggy shirt now clung onto every part of your curvaceous body.
Tssuki had to exhale as he saw your nipples peaking through your smaller but perfect chest. He just wanted to cup your perky tits, squeeze them and hear you moan in delight—your hot breath on his ear as you rested a side of your face on his.
“Can’t touch me till you take that back.”
He warned as you tried to take a step forward.
“Tssu— you whined, sighing as you crossed your arms, cold.
“Admit it, you’re beautiful. Say it.” He insisted as you tossed your head back. "I’m beautiful … kinda, I mean” you trailed off, too distracted by your own cruel thoughts to notice when he raised the shower head again to spray you down.
“Ouch!” You gasped this time, burned by the super hot water. Tssuki turned, realizing that instead of increasing the water’s pressure, he had turned it to the hot side.
Steaming hot.
He rubbed them back of his neck, sheepishly trying to play off. That stupidly cool bathroom is literally what had sold him into choosing that apartment.
After a long day of training, having a large bathtub to soak in, or large walk in shower that doubled as a sauna to rest in was a treat. Not only that, but curative. You swore that this man's epsom salt baths were the reason his long limbs were always good to go, pain free.
Tssuki rushed to place the shower head back on, pushing a few buttons on the digital control panel to get some therapeutic steam going.
On a good morning, he'd already have you pinned to the wall. Your face buried into his neck as Tssuki spread your ass apart, drilling his every inch into you.
But sadly, this wasn't a good morning ... yet. When you waved a hand out in defeat, eyes swelling with tears, Kei grabbed you right before you could step away.
You slammed into his chest with a light thump as he then grabbed your shoulders to keep you balanced. "My clumsy pumpkin." He thought as you raised your head to meet his warm eyes.
Tssuki lowered his face, gently planting a kiss on your forehead. Pulling away, he grabbed your arm & extended it out as he begin to plant a trail of kisses over the burned-pink area. His kisses deepened the closer he got to your neck, stopping only when at your jawline.
Now, the two of you were staring directly at each other, his eyes radiating all the comfort you wanted to see: love, adoration, lust. It was so quiet, but your heartbeat was so damn loud.
His actions were doing all the talking. Now completely soaked, you looked down at the hem of your shirt as Tssuki grabbed both ends and begin to lift the blouse up and away from you.
Left in nothing but shorts, he kept his eyes locked on you as you nodded while he lowered himself to help you out of them.
Now, completely naked, he just stared at you in awe.
You were his goddess, and he was going to happily worship, service, respect, love.
ARIGATO GOD.
“I don’t know why you hesitate” he softly whispered as you took in a deep breath, suddenly feeling overly emotional. Near tears kind of overwhelmed.
To keep yourself from actually sobbing, you cleared your throat to speak up, “I love my job, but I guess sometimes working with so many beautiful models, I can’t help but to compare my—
Tssuki had heard enough about your delusions. His hands flew the sides of your face, pulling you in for a deep kiss. You felt such a thrill surging through your body as he so easily hoisted you up.
It was your favorite thing in the world, to wrap your legs around his long torso, and it was Tssuki’s favorite thing to dig his hands into your firm ass, your soft thighs.
Pulling away, he takes slow steps forward so your back gently meets the wall. With one hand, he caressed your face , thumb gliding over your cheek before connecting his forehead with yours.
“As I was saying, - I don’t know why you hesitate to say it, but I think you’re the most beautiful person in this whole goddamn world.”
A pesky tear escaped onto your cheek, and Tssuki blotted it away with a kiss, burying his face closer to yours. So close your noses are now touching.
When he wanted to, Tssuki could be so completely soft.
“You don’t know every single person in this world.”
You laughed, still touched by his bold declaration.
“I mean it. Waking up to you every morning I think wow, I’m so lucky.”
He admits as you then break into another chuckle. “You’re so full of shit, that’s not the first thing you think of.”
Tssuki pulls on your lower lip down with his thumb, chuckling back. “You idiot sandwich I didn’t say it was the first thing, but it’s a close second.”
You find yourself laughing out loud, his frisky smile fully plastered on his face as your nose scrunches in that way he finds so fucking adorable.
“Begone negativity.” He both teases and shudders at the thought of how Suga burned that in the back of his mind.
“Do I have to sing that stupid One Direction song to you?” Tssuki then jokingly added as your eyes widened.
“You wouldn’t!”
“You’re right that’s disgusting.” He scoffed, hoisting you further up as he took your breath away with another kiss, this time, his hands running through your hair.
It was always a mystery with him, never knowing if he was going to pull on your hair, or caress it.
This time however, as his tongue slipped into your mouth, eager, you couldn’t help but to squeal. You had to give it to him, the man was great at multitasking. While he deepened the kiss, Tssuki tapped the melody of that dumb song on your thighs as if drumming.
"You're insecure, don't know what for, you're turning heads when you walk through the door / don't need makeup to cover up, being the way that you are is enough --
Everyone else in the room can see it
Everyone else but you
Baby, you light up my world like nobody else
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed
But when you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell
You don't know, oh, oh, you don't know you're beautiful."
Tssuki had really taken SMACK MY ASS LIKE A DRUM to a whole other level, and you couldn't even be mad about it.
"Having fun, ya happy doing that?" You teased as he now gave himself a quick rub, fully erect. Your man was so well endowed and that was both exciting and terrifying at times. While you loved dominant Tssuki, today he was a bit more mellow and less gimp man.
"Fuck, Kei-" You moaned as he slowly entered you, rubbing your clit with his thumb, the pressure just right. "I'm definitely having fun, in fact" he smirked as you moved down to slam yourself further into him, begging for more, "I'm happier than ever."
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breadbrioche · 4 years
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➵Terushima Yuuji x GN!Reader
➵Word count: 1.3k
➵A/N: first post!!! and its of this degenerate lmao I wrote this a long time ago at like 3am and I never thought it was good enough to post but here we are lol
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Well, today is gonna be an absolute shit show you thought to yourself as you trudged through the gates of your school.
It was only the start of the day yet, for some reason, so many things had already gone wrong for you. First off, you must have missed the several alarms you purposely set (you swore you could never get up without at least two loud, annoying alarms) because when you checked the time upon awakening, it was way past the time you’d typically wake up. Then immediately after stumbling haphazardly out of your bed, you’d mistook your cleanser for your toothpaste and then proceeded to brush your teeth where you only realised this predicament after a few seconds of vigorously brushing.
Despite re-brushing your teeth, there was still an underlying taste of the soapy facial product and your face scrunched up disgustedly every time you were able to taste it.
Once you arrived at your homeroom, you sighed as you blissfully plopped your head down onto your desk in the hopes of getting a few more minutes of sleep. But, of course, today was not your day because as you were finally drifting off, the loud trill of your phone forcibly ripped you out of your peace. Eyes snapping open, you fished it out and squinted at the caller ID. It was your friend.
“This better be worth my time or she’s gonna get it-“ you whispered underneath your breath before answering it, shoving the speaker to your ear.
“What is it.” You demanded gruffly. 
“Oh? Bad day already? Well that’s a new record!”
 Your friend teased through the phone but you just huffed in annoyance. “What is it.” You ‘asked’ again in a sharper tone. Your friend whistled slowly, recognising that she should stop pushing your buttons.
“Could you fetch my notebook from the locker room?” She asked sweetly. 
 “Why would I-“ 
“Because you love me and I’m an amazing friend?”
The silence afterward signalled her the opposite.
“Fine! I get it you woke up on the wrong side of bed and yada yada. But can you get it for me just this once? I need it for the first period and your classroom is closer!”
You stayed quiet, still debating whether to help her or not.
“I’ll buy you cake the next time we go to that café I know you like!” She bargained, sounding really desperate at this point. You begrudgingly sighed and hopped out of your seat. Looking up to the clock on the wall, you assessed the amount of time you still had left before the bell rang.
You had maybe twenty minutes left on the clock. The trip to the locker room and to her classroom would usually wouldn’t give you enough time for you to head to your classroom safely but you calculated that if you jogged you probably could.
“Fine I’ll do it.” You could hear a cheer of victory on the other side of the line to which you rolled your eyes at. “But stay on the call; I’ll need you to tell me which locker it’s in.”
You briskly jogged to the locker room and notified her when you made it there. 
——————
You rummaged through the lockers in a rushed manner, the time quickly passing by. 
The locker opposite the mirror, she said. This has to be the one. You even went up to the mirror and walked in a straight line to see if this was truly the one her notebook was in. It had to be because you checked the ones around it too but it wasn’t in there! This was the only one it had to be in.
You hurriedly searched through the contents of the narrow closet space and a mixture of frustration and confusion slowly building up inside you. God damn, you knew your friend was a messy girl but you sure as hell don’t remember her having all this junk.
What was the point in keeping a mirror in here when she was literally opposite one? And what would she need a belt for? She wore a skirt. Men’s cologne? For all the years you’d known her, she’d never worn this scent ever! It had a strong smell of cedarwood that would be way too pungent for her.
Thoughts piled on top of the over as you continued to bury through all this junk only a guy would ever own. Then you paused in your tracks.
Your friend was female. And all the belongings in here seemed like stuff a guy would typically have- and now that you think about it, so were all the stuff in the lockers you looked through! 
Did that mean that you weren’t in the-
Suddenly, it was hard to see the items in the locker as a dark shadow casted over it, seemingly coming from behind you.
Fuck fuck fuck fuckfuckfuckfu-
“Oh? What do we have here?” A deep, definitely not feminine, voice called out curiously in a teasing tone as the scent of cedarwood and men’s deodorant wafted in the air around you. 
Your eyes widened as you whipped your head around at the voice to see who’d caught you red handed. 
It was indeed a boy.
A familiar boy. You would be considered crazy if you didn’t know of his reputation.
With his face inches from yours, Terushima Yuuji in the flesh dared to stand there with that fucking shit eating grin on his face. His hair was in disarray, presumably from his morning practice. Even a stray bead of sweat trailed from his forehead, further supporting your assumption.
You couldn’t deny he was handsome, you’d be lying to yourself if you did. 
“What’s a cutie like you doing in the boy’s locker room? Are you some kind of pervert~?” He teased, jokingly covering his chest which you came to notice was indeed lacking a shirt. That wasn’t something someone would see everyday. 
The dude was fit; no six pack but definitely toned enough that you could see how years of sport impacted his body. And while you would probably be inclined to admire it if you weren’t in such a time crunch.
“I’m in the boy’s locker room?” You questioned seriously. Terushima just blinked. You… weren’t here on purpose? He owlishly nodded. You groaned and looked at the clock on your phone; you didn’t have much time left. You ran a hand through your hair angrily.
“I wasted all this time trying to look for this fucking notebook and I’m not even in the right place?” You seethed out loud, confusing the taller boy even more.
“What are you-“
“Look. I don’t have time for this pretty boy. So can you please just move out of the way?” You cut him off before pushing him to one side and storming out of the room.
You quickly burst into the correct locker room and quickly went to the correct locker. Slamming the door open revealed the wretched notebook, you’d been looking for all this time. Exhaling deeply, you grabbed it and exited just as quickly as you entered.
You ran with flushed cheeks angrily to your friend’s classroom. The recent sequence of events ran through your brain like lightning while you stormed through the hallways. Your nails dug into your palms as you recounted the events. 
You knew that touching the infamous Terushima Yuuji while he was shirtless would probably cause you some embarrassment in the near future but currently, you couldn’t care less. You’re main concern was whether your friend would uphold her promise. 
She had better.
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wthzoe · 4 years
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chapter 7 pt. 1 - you can never be too happy in this life
'you can never be too happy in this life' damn that's it, that's the line
series masterlist - here
previous | next
a/n: wow would u look at that i'm alive lmao. i had so much planned for this chapter that i had to divide it in two. gee i hope no one suspects anything from the title. anyways im sorry for not updating more often 😭 didn't realize how time consuming funerals and emotions were. my laptop is still not working so rip me. posting on tumblr using a phone is a bitch. anyways, enjoy!
taglist(? is this even a list lol): @crayonwriting
-
The following days after the match had been nothing short of amazing. You'd say it's almost better than the day the triplets were born. Almost. Speaking of the triplets' birth, today was their 3rd birthday and the five of you were getting ready to go back to your hometown to celebrate with your grandparents.
Kuroo was nervous. Very much so. He was so nervous that he was quiet the whole drive there. You couldn't understand what he was so worried for, your grandparents loved him. They were so thrilled when you introduced him through a video call one time and your grandmother demanded you bring him home as soon as you can.
Chuckling softly, you reach for Kuroo's thigh. You felt him flinch then relax under your touch. He sighed then grabbed your hand with his before giving your knuckles a kiss.
"Are you nervous?" You playfully asked him to which he rolled his eyes.
"A little bit, yeah."
"A little bit?" You place your hand on his chest, feeling his racing heartbeat. "Yeah, that's only a little bit."
Once again, he rolled his eyes yet said nothing. You arrived at your destination in no time, the traffic being kind to you for once. The triplets excitedly shuffle in their seats at the sight of their old home. Kuroo laughs at their impatience while helping you get them out of their seats.
Your grandparents immediately come out to welcome you and the triplets in, your grandmother peppering all four of you with kisses. Your grandfather notices Kuroo watching you from afar with a warm smile. He reaches an arm out for him, urging him to join in the hug. Kuroo was flustered yet he obliged, awkwardly placing his arms on you and your grandmother's back. Your grandmother smiles at him then pulls him down for a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
"Welcome home, Kuroo." His eyes wells with tears.
"Thanks, ma'am."
You never knew that your heart could feel this much happiness until today. Your grandparents, sons and boyfriend happily bonding together in the living room. You felt so complete that it was almost unbelievable. Then, you remember your parents. The people who deemed you a disgrace when you needed them the most. You could still remember their disappointed looks at you paired with their harmful words.
You didn't notice Kuroo walk up to you, concern evident in his expression. Oh, you didn't notice that you were crying at all.
"Hey, baby, what's wrong?" He whispered as he grabbed your hands and gave them a light squeeze.
"Nothing, really, just... thinking about stuff," you assure him but he didn't seem to believe you. You sigh, "I'll tell you later if it makes you feel better, okay?"
"You better." Engulfed in his embrace, you realize how protected you felt around Kuroo. Like nothing can ever harm you ever again. You hug him back, hoping that you could express your gratitude and love for him that way.
The peaceful moment between the two of you was interrupted when three high pitched 'Papa's and 'Mama's were heard from the living room. Pulling back, you wipe your tears before turning to your three angels.
"Yes, babies?" You reply. They all hault in front of the two of you, each holding what seemed to be paper behind their backs. You glanced at your grandparents who were recording the moment then glanced at Kuroo who had crouched down to the boys' level.
"Ta-da!" They reveal colorful drawings of five stick figures holding hands together. One had scribbles for hair, one wore a skirt while the three in the middle were significantly smaller than the two. Above the drawings were messily written 'I love Mama' while below was 'I love Papa.'
For the second time that day you cried. Even more so when you saw Kuroo pulling all three boys into a hug and giving each a kiss on their foreheads. You joined the group hug, none of you noticing how your grandmother was also crying at the back.
With that, night came. The triplets had to sleep in their old shared crib in your bedroom while you occupy the bed with Kuroo. His arms were wrapped around your waist from behind as you both watch the moon from your window.
"So, can you tell me what you were thinking of earlier?" He whispered with his lips tickling your ears. You felt your heart clench but you did promise him that you'd tell him.
"Have I ever told you about... everything before college?"
"Not really. Are you okay with sharing it with me?"
"Of course I am. You deserve to know, papa." You tease to try lightening the mood. His hug tightened around you as a reassurance that he's willing to listen to you.
"When I was in first year of high school, I had a boyfriend. I don't really want to talk bad about him or point fingers as to how it all happened. We were both in it together but we were not as careful as we should've been. Then I found out I was pregnant. I was scared. Very scared." Your voice shakes as all the feelings you felt came back. Kuroo placed kisses on your nape while his thumb drew circles on the back of your hand.
"A-and then I told him. I really thought he would be there for me, I thought we would go through it with me but instead, he told me that this was not what he wanted and that he wanted to break up," by then you were full on crying. Kuroo's hushes fill your ears as he strokes your hair. "I hated him but at the same time I understood how he felt. We were too young. So, I told my parents hoping that they'd help me because, well, they're my parents. But I never should've expected anything because it broke me even more when they threw me out."
You stopped to stabilize your breathing and to quiet yourself down as the triplets were sleeping. You took a deep breath then continued;
"They said I was a disgrace. Why couldn't I be more like my cousins who were good children. The next day they gave me a choice. They said I could either get rid of 'it' or get out of the house," you take a deep breath once again. All the crying and remembering had your head throbbing but you continue. "I really considered getting an abortion. I can't believe I even thought of that. Thank God I said no. I packed my things before telling them my decision and they were furious. They threw me out the moment I told them."
You turn to Kuroo and bury your face into the crook of his neck. He hugs you tighter than he did before while rubbing comforting circles on your back.
"I was so scared. I had nowhere to go and no idea how to take care of myself and my baby." You sobbed. "Good thing grandma called and I told her everything that happened. Grandpa picked me up in an instant and ever since then they've taken care of me and the triplets. They gave me the strength and guidance that I needed at the time and I couldn't be more thankful."
Kuroo’s eyes had gotten teary when you glanced up at his face. You cup his face with your hands. “Then you came. I didn’t realize that even though I had my grandparents and the triplets I was still incomplete. You complete me, Tetsu. Thank you very much.”
The tears pooling around Kuroo’s eyes rolled down his cheeks and into your hand upon hearing your words. He placed his hand on your cheek and placed his lips into yours. The kiss shared between the two of you spoke the words you wanted to express to each other. I love you, thank you, I treasure you and so on. You pulled back to gaze at his face before placing kisses all over his face.
“I love you.” A kiss on the forehead. “I love you.” On the left cheek. “I love you.” The right cheek. “I love you.” And finally, on the lips.
You stopped and stared into his eyes, both of you sharing a warm gaze.
“I love you, Kuroo Tetsurou. So much.”
“I love you even more, (L/N) (Y/N).”
The five of you came home the next day but not before your grandmother doted on you, again. It felt like the day you moved out all over again but this time Kuroo has to endure it, too. He didn’t find it to be 'ridiculous' as you did. Apparently, his grandmother was like this to him as well when he lived with them, probably even worse.
“Take care of my darling (Y/N), okay? Never leave her side. And make sure to always make my baby boys happy.” Kuroo must have said at least a hundred 'Yes, ma'am's at the span of his conversation with your grandmother. “I leave everything to you.”
“Grandma, it’s not like we’re not going to see each other again, okay? We'll come back as soon as we can.” You say as you gently pulled you grandmother away from your boyfriend.
“You never know, darling.”
“Stop it. We'll come back soon. Love you.” You place a kiss on both her and your grandfather’s cheeks before walking to the car. You wave at them one last time before rolling up the car windows.
While driving Kuroo kept glancing at you from time to time, looking like he has something to say. It didn’t bother you at first but it had become too often. It was dangerous, seeing as he was driving at the moment, so you turn to him.
“Is there something you want to say, love?” He visibly tensed up at your sudden question.
“Well, you see, I've been thinking. Since, um,” He continued rambling for a few more seconds before taking a deep breath and getting right to the point. “Sinceialwayssleepoveranywayandtheboyskeeplookingformewheni’mgonewhydon’twejustmoveintogetherit’snotlikeit’sanydifferentright?”
You look at him confused. What did he say? You couldn’t even catch a word other than 'since.’ He concluded from the look on your face that you didn’t understand him at all so he mustered up the courage to speak again.
“I said, since I always sleep over anyway and the boys keep looking for me when I'm gone, why don't we just move in together?” You continued staring at him in confusion, but this time you were confused about why he was so nervous to ask you that in the first place. It's not like you would say no anyway.
“What were you so nervous about? Of course I'll say yes. I've been thinking about that, too.” Kuroo just wanted to pull you in his lap and give you a tight hug at that moment. Unfortunately for him, he was driving so all he could do was grab your hand and give it a kiss as he keeps his eyes on the road.
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artificialqueens · 4 years
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The Goode Case, 1/14 (Jaida/Jan) - Juno
Summary: The case of the missing heiress and NYU senior Gigi Goode throws New York detective Jaida, along with her colleagues Brita and Jackie, into a mystery. Especially when the case takes a paranormal turn. And Jaida is not ready to face her truth. 
Chapter Summary: Being on call on a Saturday is a drag, but a clue and two witnesses can’t wait until Monday. Not when it’s been thirty-six hours since Gigi Goode disappeared.
(A/N: Hi all - after lurking for a while I’m posting for the first time! The ship(s) are REALLY slow burn, and the whole fic is huge by complete accident, so if you’d rather read it on AO3 it’s over there too. So here’s the insane detective au that no one asked for. I hope you enjoy!)
Saturday 28th October
9.30AM
It wasn’t the usual alarm that made Jaida roll over sleepily, even though initially she thought it was. 
She liked to organise her life separately, and that included her phone tones. One tone for family, one tone for Heidi and her other closest friends, one for colleagues, and one for strangers. Of course sleep threw her memory out of the window, and in thinking she was hitting the sleep button, she inadvertently declined the call instead.
The phone sounded again a few seconds after Jaida had closed her eyes and thrown her arm back over her face, drifting back into her dream. This time, coming to, she picked up the phone and peered at the screen. Jackie’s name had come up. 
Of course, she realised – it was a work tone, not an alarm.
“This is Hall.”
“Jaida, I think there’s been an update on the case you’re on.” 
How did Jackie sound so put-together this early on a Saturday? And how would she know about the case anyway? Brita was heading it, while Jackie had been working on something different. Surely Brita would have been the one to call?
“What’s the update?” 
“Something to do with the abandoned property on Westfield Avenue.”
“You mean the old Visage guest house?” Jaida rubbed her eyes. “What does that place have to do with anything on the case? You know damn well it’ll just be more kids playing around. Brita and I got called there to break up a party or something three weeks ago.”
“I’m not sure. But what I do know, is that it will be me and you. And you know what that means, don’t you?”
Jaida nodded grimly. 
Jackie’s – unusual – talents weren’t really publicly known, but they weren’t really unknown either within the office.
“If you nod, I can’t hear you.”
“Okay okay, I’m getting up.” Jaida stifled a yawn. “Is it plain clothes or uniform?”
“Uhm,” Jackie paused, “I didn’t catch that part. But don’t come round yet. Just wait for Brita to call you. Don’t tell her I called first, you know how she gets.”
Jaida put down the phone, stretched and rolled to the edge of the bed, sitting up. 
“Phone call from Brita in five, four, three …”
Her phone was ringing again before she could even finish counting. This time it was the friend tone, she saw Brita on her screen, in a selfie they had taken together. 
While Jackie was still relatively new to the team, Brita and Jaida went way back. Three long years on the team as Detectives, and even with Brita’s recent promotion to team leader, half a step below Sergeant, they were still tight. Jaida preferred to keep some separation, but Brita had graduated to a friend, not just a colleague.
 “This is Hall.”
 “Jaida. Wait. You’re awake?” Brita sounded incredulous.
“Sure.” 
“On a Saturday?”
“Girl …”
“… before noon?”
“Shut up, Brita.”
There was silence for a few moments. “Has Jackie already called you?”
“No,” Jaida said, but she knew it was a little too fast.
Brita sighed on the other end of the phone. “She’s really starting to get on my nerves. I told her not to do her telepathic stuff on me unless I ask her to, or like, I’m unconscious at a crime scene. I don’t need her reading my mind whenever Chief gives me an update on a case.”
“I don’t think she can always control it, especially if you’re shocked by something. And you know she doesn’t normally. You said you can feel it when she does it! That’s more than what I can do.” 
“Anyway, a clue has been found at the old Visage guest house. The one that’s been abandoned since the 80s. A gold anklet. Check your email when I ring off for the photo and the updated report on the case.”
Jaida sighed. “Plain or uniform?”
“Plain, until we know more. Can you be here at eleven?”
“Sure.” Like she had a choice.
When Brita hung up, Jaida sent a quick text to Heidi, who she’d promised to meet today for a shopping trip.
Jaida: Heidi Aphrodite x
Heidi: hey gorg xx
Jaida: Hey, got an emergency at work. Can’t come out today. Sorry, will make it up to you next Saturday if you want? 
Heidi: Jai you promised! How am i gonna look hot tonight for my date without u to get me fashion tips? Xx
Heidi: im gonna look like a witch lmao x
Jaida: Sorry H. She gonna love u anyway though! And no you won’t look like a witch! Xx
Eleven was pushing it, so Jaida opted for a pair of plain black jeans with a black polo neck sweatshirt, the first things to appear before her in what she called her “boring shelf” of her drawers, where she had the plain clothes for work. There wasn’t even any time for makeup really – she just swiped a layer of mascara and lip gloss and seized her bag before heading out the door of her room.
“Hey, Widow,” she called to her housemate, who was already up and in the living room, her paintbrush in hand, holding it up to the window and using it to measure the angles of the view outside. “You get much sleep last night?”
“Not much,” Widow said, not turning from her painting, “been up since the crack of fucking dawn.” She dabbed a bit more of the orange and ran it into the colours already on the canvas, spilling some onto the newspapers on the floor, and the band shirt and long shorts she wore, which were already covered in paint. “I can’t even remember what the sun looked like.”
Jaida inspected the painting from afar, a gorgeous interpretation of the sunrise from their apartment, which faced east, in Widow’s favourite set of acrylics. 
The sun had long risen already and was now behind some dark clouds, but Widow was working partly from the outside, and partly from a photo she’d taken from her phone. Her strokes were frantic, paint dotting the newspapers that she always put down.
“Did you even try to sleep last night?” Jaida asked warily.
“Bitch of course I did, but I can’t sleep much right now, you know how it is.” Widow wiped her brow with her forearm and reached down to the table behind her for the mug of black coffee she’d poured herself. 
“There’s some coffee in the pot if you want some?”
“Nah, I got to work. Emergency.”
“You’re fucking married to your work, Jai,” Widow said sadly, picking up the brush again and dipping back into the orange, still not looking at her. “There’s more to life.” 
Jaida wanted more than anything to stay here and comfort Widow, but she knew she’d miss the bus if she stayed much more. Instead she went to give her a kiss on the cheek and a one-armed hug before seizing her coat and bag and heading out the door. 
It was October, late October, and it was already turning cold this year. Jaida tugged her coat around her and blew into her hands as she stood waiting for the bus. Once she was on, it was a long ride into the city, and she got to settle into her seat and finally open her email. 
The photo was just a photograph of an anklet sent from a phone, on the white table so as to make it stand out. But the report that Brita had attached, it was the Goode case. 
Jaida frowned. Brita and Jaida had been working on that yesterday, but Jackie was on a different case, so that couldn’t be right. And it wasn’t like Brita not to double-check exactly what she was sending her. She’d have to check with her when she got to the office.
11.04AM
“Sorry I’m late,” Jaida lied through her teeth as she dashed into the meeting room. Four minutes was neither here nor there, but Brita was always on time for everything, and a few minutes was still a slight affront. 
Jackie, next to Brita, raised an eyebrow in a way that let Jaida know that she wasn’t convinced.
“Traffic?” Brita asked.
“Traffic,” Jaida nodded. “And that driver, he didn’t know the green light from the red one. Took the car behind beeping like crazy for him to move.”
Jackie’s other eyebrow was raised now too. Jaida didn’t feel guilty in telling a little white lie, but she did occasionally forget about Jackie’s telepathic abilities. Unlike Brita though, Jaida couldn’t tell when Jackie was hearing her thoughts, so Jackie had probably seen through her mind that Jaida had spent the last ten minutes hurriedly gulping down her Starbucks rather than in a traffic jam. Honestly, Jaida probably could have done with some more coffee, but needs must and all that. 
She gave Jackie a look, and repeated in her mind just go with it just go with it just go with it as loudly as she could think, until Jackie looked away.
“Okay, well now that you’re here, we need to discuss the morning’s itinerary,” Brita said, unfolding the paper she’d printed. “Here’s the revised report.”
“Yeah about that, I think you sent me the wrong one,” Jaida interrupted.
“I know what you’re thinking, but the new clue does seem to relate to the Goode case.” Brita nodded grimly. 
“Has Jackie been filled in on the Goode case?”
“Well, I read the report,” Jackie replied. “Georgina Goode, twenty-two, senior in fashion design at NYU, missing since Thursday night, that sound about right?”
“That sums it up, yes.” Brita unfurled the map of the area. 
“Georgina was last seen at a party on Northfield, here, on Thursday night, several witnesses have confirmed that. We’re on Saturday morning now. Last sighting was on a security camera on the corner of Northfield and Westfield, and that was at …” Brita glanced at the date stamp on the camera print out. “Eleven twenty-nine. Georgina was turning onto Westfield through that camera. The first camera on Westfield is still undergoing repairs, and the second one never caught her.”
“Could she have gotten into a car?” Jackie asked, but Brita shook her head. 
“No cars on camera were recorded on any of the streets at that time, not until eleven thirty-five. And that driver was interviewed first thing this morning. His alibi is water-tight.”
“So she’s been gone for thirty-six hours,” Jaida nodded. “And her parents are still saying she’s not home?”
Brita shook her head, chewing her bottom lip grimly. 
Jaida felt her heart sinking. The fact that Georgina was heading into the second day of being officially missing, meant that this investigation was more and more likely becoming a search for a body rather than a person. 
“And the anklet that’s been found, is it Georgina’s?” 
“We’ve yet to have confirmation from the parents, but we did get some … uh, unusual new witnesses to the case. Two students from NYU. They went to the Visage guest house to do some paranormal stuff,” Brita used her fingers to make speech marks. “They’re the ones who found the anklet, and one of claims it’s Georgina’s. They’ve agreed to interview today, at eleven thirty.”
“I thought that house was boarded up?” Jackie asked. 
“Well, one of them found a loose window. Let the other one in. And it’s a good thing they did,” Brita said darkly, “because otherwise we’d have no leads yet. And it gets more interesting from there.”
“How?”
“Come with me,” Brita beckoned to them both, “and we’ll go set up for interview. I’ll watch the monitors.”
11.30AM
The witness room had the blinds drawn to keep out the sun, for even though it wasn’t the warmest day, the windows in that room could heat it right up in a heartbeat if the sun was out. It meant that the light was on, even though it was still early. 
The two women were also seniors, as Georgina was. From the notes Jaida had been given, they were Kristen and Ava, and Jaida read that Kristen shared classes with Georgina, while Ava knew her through Kristen. One of them was trembling while the other looked quite placid. 
Jaida looked from one to the other, then down at her notepad, while Jackie sat down next to her, her eyes darting between the two witnesses as she pressed the record button. 
Jaida cleared her throat. “So, uhm, Kristen and Ava –“
“No! We’ve said this ten times already!” The more nervous of the two piped up. “I’m Crystal, she’s Aiden! Whoever wrote down our names in the lobby wrote them wrong!” Crystal, the one who was speaking, put her head in her hands, obscured by a curtain of curly red hair. Aiden put a hand on Crystal’s shoulder to calm her down.
“Sorry about my friend, she’s not normally this anxious, we’ve just had – an experience,” Aiden said quietly. 
Jackie nodded. “I understand.” 
She was trying to sound sympathetic, but Jaida caught a hitch in her voice, felt Jackie tense up suddenly. Even with their mental connection, Jaida could not read minds, so Jackie’s thoughts would have to remain a mystery for now at least. 
“I’ll adjust it now,” Jaida muttered, crossing out the names and re-writing them. “Right, Crystal and Aiden, you found the anklet in the old guest house?”
Crystal emerged from behind her hands. “Yeah, yeah we did.”
“Why were you there? Did you think Georgina would be there?”
“She – she’d mentioned something about it,” Crystal was shivering, Aiden rubbing her shoulder, seemingly encouraging her to go on.
“Do you remember what she said exactly?” Jaida asked, pen hovering over the notepad.
“She said it had been owned by a relative,” Crystal replied. “I can’t remember who, some distant relative.“ 
“The Visage family closed the house after a few controversies back in the eighties,” Jaida said. “Were the Visage family related to Georgina’s?”
“No one calls her Georgina, she’s Gigi.”
“Alright, well were they related to Gigi?”
“I mean, I don’t know, but she said they were!” Crystal’s voice was rising in pitch, shaking with emotion. Aiden continued to rub her shoulder while she took a couple of deep breaths to relax. 
Jackie’s breathing on the other hand was shaky next to Jaida, and Jaida wished that Jackie would leave the room or something, if she was getting something mentally from these girls.
“So you went to the house. Did you think Gigi was inside it?”
Jaida managed to catch Aiden, whose face had been expressionless so far, tense a muscle in her jaw and her eyes dart to Crystal, who met them before looking back at Jaida. 
“I don’t know.” Crystal shook her head. 
“You sure?” Jaida asked.
“Well,” Crystal began, but Jaida saw it clearly this time; Aiden give her shoulder a rapid squeeze, and Crystal sighed. “I thought I saw her inside. But I was wrong,” she added hurriedly. Aiden, next to her, tensed her jaw again. 
“Inside? In the building?“ 
Aiden took her hand away from Crystal. 
“I didn’t see her,” Aiden said, speaking finally, “but Crystal said she did, so I looked around and I – I found a loose board in one of the windows,” she shrugged. “I didn’t see the issue with taking it off to get in, especially if Crystal said she saw someone.” Her tone was defiant.
“You girls aren’t in trouble for going in, if you think she was there,” Jaida tried to calm her down, “but you’re saying you didn’t see her?”
Aiden paused before shaking her head. “No, I didn’t.”
“But she must have been there, because that’s her anklet! I gave her that for her birthday last December, she’s worn it ever since!” Crystal cried. 
“You recognise the anklet? In this picture?” Jaida slid the photo of it to her.
In response, Crystal leaned into her chair and raised her right leg to the table, lifting her floor-length skirt away from her ankle. She was wearing an identical anklet to the one in the picture.
“We have the same ones! Matching ones. She’s my best friend.”
Crystal was seemingly holding back tears now; and as she put her foot back on the floor, she rubbed her eyes ferociously with the back of her hand. “I’m sorry, I want you to take me seriously, I know it sounds crazy, but I know what I saw. I saw Gigi, and we found the anklet, so she must have been there.”
“So you found the anklet, but did you see any other sign of disturbance?”
“I don’t – I don’t know. We just found the anklet, and we – we left,” Crystal stuttered, glancing at Aiden as if for confirmation.
“You didn’t see or hear any people? No one in there?”
“No, no one,” Crystal said.
“You sure?”
Crystal nodded. Aiden’s left eye gave a definite twitch. 
Jackie pushed back her chair, muttering something about needing water. She stumbled to the door of the witness room, pulling it open and rushing away. 
“I think we should wrap up for now on this,” Jaida said, rapping her notebook. “But before we do, is there anything else we should know that you have that could help us with the investigation?”
They both hesitated.
“Remember that your friend is missing,” Jaida said as gently as she could. “If you know anything that could help her, you’re doing the best by her in telling us.”
Aiden shook her head slowly, biting her lower lip.
“I don’t think I do,” Crystal muttered. “But … can I call you if, you know, anything else happens?”
Jaida slid her card over the table. “Sure, any time you need to.”
She turned off the recorder and let the two students leave the room, before turning out herself, locking the door behind her. They hurried down the corridor, back to the lobby, and disappeared out of the building.
Back in the meeting room, Jaida entered to find Brita was clutching Jackie’s shoulders, Jackie still shaking in fright, a glass of water shuddering in her hand. Jaida made sure the door to the meeting room was closed.
“Child, what was that about?”
“Jaida,” Brita warned, but Jackie put her glass down on the table.
“No, Brita, I need to tell her too! She probably noticed the same thing.” Jackie sat down in the chair, joined by Brita next to her, while Jaida took an opposing seat.
“It was so … weird,” Jackie’s voice quaked with emotion, “but that girl with the short hair, Aiden, I got – I got nothing at all from her.”
“Nothing? That’s weird,” Jaida agreed. 
“Not even the whispering?”
“Nothing!” Jackie cried, pushing back her fringe. “It was so strange! I don’t think I’ve ever had that from someone! I mean, I know I have to have a connection with people to read them clearly, but most people at least whisper! I don’t get why … why I didn’t even hear that!”
“And the other one? Crystal?” Brita asked quietly.
Jackie took a deep breath to steady herself, suddenly stone-cold and calm, and looked Jaida straight in the eyes. 
“She’s like you, Jai.”
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dontbesoweirdkira · 4 years
Note
Ok, I was gonna ask you about something else, but after reading the part 2 of the Mic and the exchanged student, I'm in DIRE need to see the part 3 where she has to start her hero career and she, obviously, need his help(not because she is not capable of starting it by herself but because she just needs him to continue to be by her side like it always has been)! Pretty please! Thank you! 💗
A/N: SKSKSK hOw cOUlD i sAy nO to tHat prEtTy PwEasE uwu. Haha yeah totally i’ll do this. Sorry if this comes out a bit late i’m working on some things. Thanks for requesting <333 Any requests let me know!
-So you know that bonus thingy i did in the last one? Where the parents were mean and all that? Well let's continue with that story line, I feel like that’s a bit more interesting for this!
-So i feel like after everything went down, realistically your parents would have forced you to come home and not contact Hizashi. Which sucks because he was the only one that really believed in you, And Japan became like a second home, even though your japanese isn’t the best and you may not look like everyone, you grew to love it and appreciate it. The thought of going back home to your parents stormed in your stomach
-Hizashi hated the idea too, he felt like your parents were mentally abusive and he really hated the idea of you going back. He talked to you and wanted to know if you wanted to get others involved and what not so you didn’t have to go back and leave the school. But you didn’t want to go through that whole process
-Besides you were “almost an adult” and soon able to start your hero career. You somehow convinced him to let it go and have faith you’ll be okay.
-”Alright Y/N, If you ever want it, you can always have a job under me and my agency. Even if you don’t wanna be a hero, you can work on my radio show.”
-Damn leaving Present was like the hardest thing. He was like a positive father figure that you always wanted and finally got, then when everything was good it got ripped away. It hurt so badly.
-Plus present took it so hard because he felt it was his fault, ‘Why did i have to say something?’ ‘It’s all my fault’
-Going back to your home country was like heck? Your parents forced you to stop with all this “hero mess” and made you go on a “more stable” path. They took away all your devices and stuff so you can “focus” but in reality they wanted to make sure you weren’t contacting Present or looking into hero stuff.
-Damn You’re really wishing you took Present up on that offer and let him help you stay
-You couldn’t work on your quirk or train so while everyone was asleep you’d do exercises and warmups Present taught you
-In those few years you were so miserable, and all you wanted to do was go back to japan and go on the path you always wanted to. You missed Hizashi and the friends you had made, Here you were lonely and tired, but there you had so much life and happiness.
-So secretly you were saving money so as soon as you get a chance, you can get away. So occasionally you’s ask for 20 or so dollars to get “books” or “go to the mall” when in reality you were just storing the money away in your secret trust fund lol.
-By the time of graduation you had enough money saved up to go travel, thanks to the extra help of graduation money from family members of course.
-As soon as you got home you brought a ticket, reserved a hotel and packed all you bags and left to the airport by the early morning. Whew you felt as if you were running from the Feds and for some reason that gave you a rush of excitement you hadn’t felt in a long time.
-finally you get to see Hizashi after all this time
-When you got to Japan, you went to the first place you could think of. Present’s agency. You couldn’t quite think of where else to get to him, so this was your first resort.
-Upon arriving you were so nervous. What if Hizashi didn’t even work there anymore?? What if he didn’t want to help? After all you kinda of cut him off even though you promised to keep him posted every once in a while. Although that wasn’t your fault but maybe he hated you for it?
-Either way it was too late now and you were already at the front desk, standing awkwardly standing
-“Hello dear, is there anything I can help you with?”
-“u-Ugh wEll uHhh???”
-“....“
-“....”
-“Do you have an appointment...or….”
-“nO...yeS? Haha i'm sorry, I'm looking for Hizashi Yamada. I’m an old friend and he told me to come here if I ever needed him..?”
-“...right...Your name?”
-“Y/L L/N.”
-“I don’t see you name under any notes or messages for him. By safety protocol I cannot let you up past this floor without a proper appointment or verification.”
-“Well is there anyway that I can leave him a note..with my contact and such? Or a way to set an appointment?”
-“Yes I can leave a note but I cannot guarantee he will see it and you can only make an appointment if you’re an endorser.”
-“Ah I see, Well I guess I’ll just leave a note then? Here is my name and number and can you just tell him I’m back in Japan. I need to talk to him.”
-“of course.�� The lady at the front desk smiled as she finished writing the small note and moving it aside with the others
-You began to make your was towards the exit only to be stopped dead in your tracks when you heard an all too familiar voice boom through out the lobby
-“YEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH WHATS UP OFFICE LAAAAADDYYYYY! ANY NEW MAIL FOR ME??? HMM HMM????”
-Turning around, your eyes met the sunflower blonde male that leaned against the counter with a Gigantic smile across his face.
-suddenly a similar smile he wore, slapped across your face as you unconsciously shouted
-“H-hizashi?!”
-instantly his eyes landed upon you, yet his award winning smile vanished and turned into a tired expression
-ugh another crazed fan waiting at the front desk for him.
-except you weren’t, you were his most favorite person on the planet. However you looked so different. And he could hardly recognize you.
-For a moment he just stared at you with the utter most bleak face, until it hit him.
-“America?”
-“Mr. Hizashi!”
-HE IS SOOOO HAPPY SKSKSKSKSKS LIKE BRO HE THOUGHT HE WOULD NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN.
-HE SMILES SO WIDE AND LITERALLY JUMP HUGS YOU
-“MRSSSS. AMERIIICAAAA.”
-he has a moment where he pulls apart and just gazes at you
-i-is that tears in his eyes??
-awww so soft
-sMotheRs yOu In kIssEs (friendly forehead ones lmao)
-He’s just so happy to see you looking healthy and safe. He loves you so much, even if it’s been years.
-“I thought something bad happened to you, I tried emailing and contacting you but no response. Oh I’m so happy I get to see you again! Are you okay? Are you hungry?? Wait let’s go talk at a restaurant.”
-So you guys go to a restaurant and talk and reconcile about the past. Apologized for not responding and talking so long to come back.
-“No worries I’m just glad your here now! How has hero work been? Signed with any major companies.”
-“Haha um actually no not yet.”
-“WHAAAAT?! What are you waiting for?? I’m sure by now your quirk skills and everything has gotten waaay better now with all the training you’ve probably had there. I’m sure you’ll get signed just like that.”
-“Actually Hizashi. The last time I actually trained or really used my quirk was the last time we trained together.”
-He literally thought you were joking. No that’s not possible that was years ago.
-“No I’m serious, my parents wouldn’t let me do hero work after all that went down and they limited the use of my quirk. These past years I’ve been studying to be a pharmacist because my parents says it’s a more realistic job for someone like me and hero work is nonsense.”
-What no? They couldn’t of held a grudge that long? No you were on such a good path to become a hero. He was sure of it. The world really needed someone to step up, with the rise of crime and he knew you could do it. So for your parents to say “nonsense” was so unbelievably stupid.
-“What?” that was all he could muster hearing your news
-“yep! And I couldn’t respond to you because my parents took away all my devices, and gave me ones that were restricted and only for school research purposes. Everything about heroes or quirks that wasn’t related to Pharmaceutical Purposes wasn’t allowed. I actually saved up cash for years and gathered up the money I got from graduation to buy a ticket and a small apartment here. Although I’m sure my parents will be hot when they noticed I left the country, but at least I’ll be thousands of miles away and safe from their antics right? Haha.”
-He was so shocked. He didn’t think him telling off your parents and protecting your from them while you were in Japan, would cause them to go to such extremes. What kind of people?
-“Y-yeah. But don’t worry I’m alive aren’t I!” You laughed out
-He smiles at your attempt of optimism and nodded in agreement
- “Do you still want to become a hero?” He asked twirling his spoon around in the soup he earlier ordered
-“W-Well yes. Actually I do a lot, this world is becoming more cruel and I really hate sitting back and seeing these innocent people who can’t fight back get hurt everyday. But I know it’s hard but It’s something I really still want to do.”
-“Okay then, Y/N I’ll train you and help you become a hero. In the moring I’ll start paper works and a letter to get you into my company under me. I’ll make sure you become the hero you always wanted to be...that I always knew you could be.”
-“Wait are you serious.”
-“Only if you are. We’ll train in the early mournings and I’ll take you with me on patrol at night so you can get a feel of what it’s like. I’ll guide you Y/N and do better than I did before. I owe it to you.”
-And after that, that’s exactly what happened
-you guys were out on a morning run by 5 and working out at the gym around noon. Around 11 at night you guys were on patrol until 3 am. And this went on for months
-He pushes you harder than you possibly knew your body could be pushed
-You your quirk became much stronger and stable.
-teaches you different techniques and gives you pointers on where to go out on patrol and how to look for suspicious behaviors
-you’re under his company and training for about a year or so before you break off and go on your own. He makes sure you’re fully confident and he knows that you’re at a good spot beforehand though.
-You actually get signed under a big company and recruited for a few others all over.
-Before you left his wing, you made sure you thanked him for everything and that he was totally fine with it
-which he was
-He’s still always beside you though. You knew in your heart you still needed his guidance and his friendship in your life, and same for him. He really adores you and doesn’t want to just say goodbye. It hurt so bad the first time, he couldn’t imagine how it would feel departing again.
- He checks up on you everyday and make sure to go out to lunch every one in awhile.
-When you’re kind of lost or stuck or need a shoulder to cry on, he’s always right there.
-“Hizashi...I don’t know. Maybe my parents were right and I’m really not cut out for this. It’s so hard and I’m so tired. I just really want to cry.”
-“Hey shh, don’t worry you’re doing great. It just gets hard sometimes but trust me it’ll get better. I’m right here for you.”
-If you parents did come back to Japan and came to harass you or what not, Hizashi is instantly there protecting you and makes sure they won’t ever do that again. You are not going back to the U.S. with them, even if he has to get the legals involved he would.
-Send little gifts to him every so often as a thank you.
-You stay in Japan for the first couple years of your hero career but then branch out a bit to different countries
-collecting Souvenirs and postcards to send back to hIzAsHI
-When you become super successful he’s like “See Y/N, what did I tell you? You’re going to be fucking great.”
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Text
Survey #289
“life by life / waste to waste / i’m the harbinger, the master of decay”
How often do you watch the news? Never. Would you rather read the news online? Yeah. Speaking of being online, what website do you visit the most? YouTube. Have you ever held a snake? Plenty. Ever caught a turtle? What about a crawfish? Turtles, yes, as a kid. Please do not take animals out of the wild for no good reason, people. I never touched crawfish because they looked scary lmao. Have you ever eaten gumbo? Idk what that is. Or do you not like spicy food? I enjoy spicy food, but not nearly as much as when I was a teen. Back then, I loved the adrenaline rush, now I just wanna enjoy my food like a normal person, lol. Do you own a bottle of hand sanitizer? Do you like how it smells? Does anyone NOT at this time? Or even before, really? But anyway, no, I don't like the smell. Do you own a pool table? What about an air hockey table? Or a foosball table? Okay so one of the coolest things we had when I was younger was this table that had different "tops" to change out to turn it into various games like these. Like, it was all in one. I don't THINK we still have it? Do you live with your parents? Are you cool with that? I live with my mom, and right now, it's the better idea for many reasons. I feel like shit about it, though. I'm nearly 25. Even if I was financially independent though, I would not be able to handle living all alone with my depression and all. When did/when do you want to move out? Hopefully when I have a stable job and long-term relationship. Have you ever been on a cruise? No. Are you better at catching or throwing? Probably throwing. I can't catch for shit. Do you ever play computer games? Just WoW nowadays. Did you used to have a lunchbox? Yeah, I went through a few. How often do you/did you bring your lunch to school? Whenever I didn't like what was on the menu. And mind you, I was and still am very picky. What was/is your favorite school lunch? I think the chicken sandwiches. When was the last time you wore a hat? What kind of hat was it? Oh yikes, who on Earth knows. It has to have been years. Maybe a Carolina Hurricanes one to a hockey game I went to with Dad. I don't really wear hats. Have you ever tried to ghost hunt? If so, did you catch anything? No. Do you prefer gold or silver? What about diamonds or pearls? Earrings or bracelets? Necklace or rings? Or are you not a jewelry person? Gold; diamonds; earrings; rings (I think). I don't care all that much about jewelry, though. Have you ever made jewelry? Not really, just kiddy crafts stuff. Do you have any unique hobbies? Meerkat RP. Have you ever broken a window? If so, what with? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever had surgery? If so, what on? Yeah. I had tubes put in my ears as a kid, and I had a cyst removed from... directly above my ass lmaoooo. Pilonidal cysts are awesome. Do you know any boys named Ashley or Lesley or Lynn? I don't believe so. Do you prefer coffee or hot chocolate? Hot chocolate, for sure. Do you like green tea? Tea is gross. Do you like to play Freecell? What about Hearts? Or Mahjong? I only know Mahjong, and I've never played that. I used to watch Mom play it on the computer as a kid, though. Idr the rules. Does your family own guns? No. Have you ever been given flowers? Were they from a relative or someone special? Both. Have you ever ridden on a motorcycle? No, and I doubt I will. I'm not like... really scared of them, as a matter of fact they seem really fun, they're just too risky for my liking. Have you ever seen a dead body? At an open-casket wake, yes. What does your umbrella look like? It's just an ordinary black one. Is anyone you know pregnant? HOLY FUCK, I think 90% of my Facebook friends are preggo. It seems like EVERYONE is expecting. Ha, one of my closest friends is legit pregnant with triplets after JUST having a son... She's in for a ride. Does your family do reunion gatherings? No, we're too spread out. What would you order to drink if you were in a bar right now? A strawberry sangria sounds pretty great. When was the last time you had a first kiss? I'm guessing you mean like, my first kiss with the last person I was with? A few summers ago when we were out on the porch making s'mores and dancing like some cheesy fucks lmao. How many homes have you ever lived in? If you don't count the apartment I wasn't an official resident of or staying with a friend for a month due to homelessness, we just moved into our fifth. Or sixth. It's too early when I'm taking this for math. Have you ever donated money to charity? Yeah. What’s your favourite type of exercise? Swimming. How many jobs have you had? Three or four... I'm not even sure because they were so incredibly short because fuck me and my anxiety, right? Who do you stalk the most through Facebook? Nobody. Have you ever deleted your Facebook, then brought it back? No. Write the first song that pops into your head: Well, I'm listening to "Freak On a Leash" right now. Has anything interesting come for you in the mail lately, besides bills? Nah. What is your main responsibility each day? Making sure my cat has food, water, and a clean litterbox. Do you feel like you fulfill those responsibilities? Yeah. I've slacked on the box before on bad mental health days where I can barely force myself to do anything, but I'm usually on top of it. Were you in the wrong during your last argument with someone? I don't recall what my last argument was. I think something w/ Mom. What bands did you used to love, that you don’t listen to much anymore? Hm. It's pretty rare I leave behind bands I've LOVED, so. Are you counting down to anything? tomorrow crihmus When was the last time you used spray paint? Oh, I have no idea. Maybe for an art project in HS? What color are the chairs at your kitchen table? Brown. Have you ever or do you plan on donating to any charities? Which ones? I've donated to some you would like pass by in the store if I had some spare coins or dollars on me, and when I cut my hair to as short as it is now, I donated it all to Children With Hair Loss. One of my most cherished memories is getting the certificate that it was used. I'm sure there's more, especially for school, but idr them. I 110% want to donate to charity streams when I have my own income source. Do you believe that life only gets harder or easier? I mean, this depends on your unique life. Do you know the middle name of the last person you kissed? Hm. I don't think Girt has a middle name, and I don't think Tyler ever told me because he was embarrassed by it. I know Sara's. Have you ever had sex with 2 different people in the same week? No. Who is the friendliest person you know? Probably my friend Girt. Last song you listened to? "Milk and Cookies" by Melanie Martinez is on rn. Something that annoys you about summer: Just ONE thing???? Just about everything does. The only thing I enjoy is all the flowers. Well hell, that's even mostly a spring thing. It's mostly just... plain green in the summer. At least here. Too hot for damn flowers to survive. Something that annoys you about winter: The fact that if it snows here, we get barely anything at all. e_e Are the doors of your fridge side by side or on top of one another? Side by side. When was the last time you burned a body part other than your hands/fingers? I actually just burned the roof of my mouth yesterday. If you’ve moved out of the house you were born in, do you know the people who live in that house now? Nope. What’s one food that you eat more than twice a week? Definitely some form of bread. Do you like zombie movies? No opinion, really. What's the grossest/worst thing you’ve ever seen in a public restroom? UGH. This one time I was in the bathroom with Colleen (it's a girl thing lmao) at a gas station, she did what she normally does and checks under the seat, aND IT WAS COVERED IN BLOOD. It was fucking disgusting. What’s the most wasteful thing you regularly do? Ugh... use plastic bags when disposing of Roman's "business" in the litterbox. I feel absolutely awful using one every other day. If I wait any longer than that, Mom gets mad. What’s the most difficult apology you’ve ever had to give? Probably to Jason via that letter. That honestly wasn't that difficult after having fully accepted I fucked up too, though. I don't generally find it hard to apologize when I know I was wrong. Have you ever volunteered in a hospital? If not, would you ever want to? Fuck no. They depress the hell out of me. What was your worst Halloween costume? Idk, I don't remember almost any of mine. When was the first time you can remember feeling mature? When I checked into the doctor by myself. Yes, I know how sad that is at nearly 25. Have you ever had a disappointing Christmas, or any disappointing holiday if you don’t celebrate Christmas? As a kid, there was just one where I was disappointed in what I got. SO fucking ungrateful looking back on that shit. I can't even imagine feeling anything like that now. I cherish Christmas deeply, especially now with nieces and a nephew who experience such joy at Christmastime, and I get to see my dad and his wife and stepson, too. At this age, it truly is about family to me. Do you have any character bandaids in your house right now, or just plain ones? I think we may have some princess ones and some "boy" kind for if the kids are ever over. AKA never because their dad is far more concerned about only including his family in their lives. I don't think Ryder's ever even visited our house, and he's like, four years old. My sister's husband's parents live directly down their road, but still. It hurts Mom and I a lot that we don't seem to matter when it comes to visiting *us*. Have you ever had to give a pet away? Yeah, plenty of times with our old cat nest. What's the junkiest junk food you’ve ever eaten? I dunno, probably something at Disney as a kid. Did you play pretend a lot as a child? Were there any recurring plots or themes? Yeah. I had my "good guys" - a family of alligators, deer (um they were married and had kids don't ask me, man), and some Pokemon figurines - and three big dinos that were the "bad guys." How do you feel about runny egg yolks? Egg yolk is fucking repulsive. The one and only way it's going down my throat is in scrambled eggs. Has a teacher ever tried to teach you something that was undeniably wrong? Not that I remember. If for some reason you had to give up one of your hobbies, which would you choose? I dunno, I have so few already... Maybe World of Warcraft? I almost quit it recently anyway because I was bored and yet it took up so much of my time, but it'd be hard now with a new expansion having just come out with soooo much to do. Man... I dunno. Have you ever hidden a relationship from your family? No. How much do you know about first aid? No more than the average joe, really. Which of your relatives do you know the least about? Sadly, probably my dad's oldest daughter. I know only two things about her with certainty. Have you ever meditated? If so, did it do anything for you? Yes, and all it does is make me fidgety and lets me think too much. When was the last time you got ice cream from a truck? Hm... maybe when I was at a beach when I was on vacation with a friend? I was like, a pre-teen then though, so it's been forever. Do you know any sex workers? If so, how do they feel about their job? Not that I'm aware of. And honestly, I have mixed feelings, but I think I lean more towards it being just fine so long as boundaries are set and there are very clear understandings with each other. And you ABSOLUTELY need to be safe about it. I'd far rather people get off with a consenting individual than in... y'know, other ways. It's not my business, anyway. What’s the biggest art project you’ve ever attempted? How did it go? In high school, I did a huge acrylic painting on burlap of meerkats grooming. I am to this day still so proud of it; I worked so hard on it. I love how the fur came out, especially. I do wish I could do over the background, though. What kind of wild animals do you see most frequently where you live? Excluding the obvious birds, there are tons of squirrels, and you see opossum and racoon roadkill a lot, tragically... Every now and then, you'll see deer in fields in the morning or dusk. Have you ever cooked anything other than s’mores over a fire? Yeah, hot dog.s Are there any items in your house that you use for something other than its intended purpose? I'm positive there's something. Probably everyone has an example. OH! Looking in just my room, Venus' terrarium has saran wrap covering the top to help keep humidity in. What do you hope the afterlife is like? Really, I go back and forth between hoping it's like... this state of nirvana and where you reunite with loved ones and experience infinite peace if deserved, or just the entire lack of existence anymore. I wonder sometimes if I'd want to be sentient forever. But, with me believing in a spirit realm, I don't think the latter is the case. What’s the worst behavior you’ve ever seen from a child? I think I once saw a kid smack their parent's arm or something? I don't really know. Have you ever planned an act of revenge? "No, but i daydream about it." <<<< Ha, yeah, I have. Do you and your parents share any of the same hobbies? Yeah. Mom surprised me when she told me she likes writing (even though I never see her do it), and Dad likes video games. Do you have any physical photo albums? Yes. Would you feel comfortable working at a sex shop? NOPE. Who was the worst friend you ever had? It's funny, Colleen did incredible things for me, but she also fits this description, too... Have you ever campaigned for a political candidate, or otherwise played an active role in an election? I mean, I voted, does that count? What’s the coolest hand-me-down you’ve ever gotten? What about the best one you’ve ever given? I have no idea. Do your parents and grandparents get along with each other? Dad got along perfectly fine with his parents, but my mom and her mother had a rocky history. Grammy treated her awfully sometimes. They'd been fine for many, many years, but Mom could never forget some things and always felt like she wasn't "good enough" in her eyes. I'm pretty sure Mom got along just fine with her dad. Do you have any framed photos of your pet(s)? Yes. Do you share photos of your pet(s) on social media? Um, duh. In 3 words, describe the last male you talked to. Who WAS the last guy I talked to... Do you own any of your favorite films on DVD? Which one(s)? No. Have you watched anything on Netflix lately? No. The last thing I did on Netflix was watch the first episode of The Witcher, and even though I liked it, I didn't continue. I just... don't enjoy watching TV, especially if it really requires you to pay attention. Have you ever heard someone snoring and thought it sounded cute? Besides animals, no. Are you particular about what you eat? In what way(s)? Yeah, I'm VERY picky, especially with textures. Is anyone close to you particular about what they eat? In what way(s)? Yes, my niece. She's autistic and has the symptom of being incredibly picky with things like textures, too. She is the one child I have ever known that doesn't really like eating. Is there someone in your life who can always make you smile? Always, no. Have you worn lipstick at any time recently? What color? No. I last wore black forever ago just to take pictures. Do you like wearing eyeshadow to match the color of your clothes? No; in the very rare instance I put on makeup, the eyeshadow is always black. What song reminds you of your childhood? Jesse McCartney songs, for sure. And Backstreet Boys. What’s your least favorite month? Maybe August. I'm sick and beyond tired of summer by that point. Nothing exciting going on. What do you do when you’re bored in class and not paying attention to the teacher? When I was in school, I honestly always paid attention because I wanted to pass. Have you ever baked a pie? No. Last person you shared food with? Mom. Do you know any mechanical stuff about cars? Definitely not. Were you smiling in the last picture taken of you? I don't think so, if that witchy photoshoot was the last time I had a pic taken of me. Do you answer the phones at your job? I did at two old jobs. Were you a hyper or mellow kid? I was kinda hyper. What are you drinking? Would you believe me if I answered "water"????? Did you get any compliments today? No. What last made you laugh? I think a moment in a WoW stream I was watching last night. Which of your friends is the easiest to talk to? Sara. What was your best summer ever? /shrug Do you have a favourite sibling? No. What color is the blanket/quilt on your bed? Navy and black. Favorite milkshake flavour? Just chocolate. Sometimes I'm in the mood for vanilla, though. Best year of your life? 2017. It's funny how that year started with a suicide attempt but wound up being the best year of my life. NEVER hestitate to reach out for help when you need it. How loud do you like your music in the car? Too loud lmao. Prefer to write or read? Write. Favourite apps? Pokemon GO, haha. What is a fruit you refuse to eat? Absolutely refuse? Maybe like, cantaloupe. Would you rather gain weight or lose weight? It'd to fuckin fantastic if I could lose 100 pounds. :^) I gained like thirty since moving... Would you rather gain height or lose height? Gain a tiny bit, I guess? But I'm fine with where I'm at. Are both your eyes the same color? Yes. Do you like glittery things? Yes, but not touching them and getting glitter everywhere. Ever watched a play in the theatre? Yes, at Disney World and also for school field trips. How many followers do you have on instagram? A depressing amount for someone desperately trying to be a photographer lmaooo. I mean I don't post on it a lot, so that doesn't help, but yeah. My secondary photography account (for roadkill/vulture culture stuff) has more than my main one. How about twitter? Don't use it. How much would I have to pay you to get you to do karaoke? I don't know, I'd be terrified of embarrassing myself. Last time you went ice skating? Never. Painting or drawing? Drawing, by far. Art or science? Now that's tough, but art. Dancing or singing? Dancing. History or geography? Geography is interesting. Favourite season? Autumn. Do you watch Supernatural? I did up to the end of Season 6. I loved it, I just was losing interest in TV, and also Jason and I broke up (we always watched it together) so I didn't want to watch something triggering memories. If you could change your eye color would you? Yes, to either a pure sapphire blue or emerald green. Are both your ears pierced? Yes. Are you lying down? Yes. Is there a tv in your room? No. Do you celebrate Thanksgiving? Yeah. Do you like fortune cookies? Yeah, they're oddly tasty. Do you have anxiety? You fuckin bet I do. Favorite clothing shop? RebelsMarket. How do you feel about peeing in a cup at the hospital? Is it embarrassing? No? It's too normal to be embarrassing. I mean I wrap toilet paper around it so you don't actually see, y'know, but I'm not embarrassed carrying that. Do you prefer fruit or vegetables? Fruit, by a long shot. What do you hate being called? "Bee." An old best friend who did nothing but lie about her entire life called me that. What color is the last car you were in? White. Ever studied abroad? No. Ever pulled out a tooth? Yeah, when I was a kid. Three celebrity crushes? Mark Fischbach, Link Neal, Hannah Hart. Ever been married? No. Are you proud of yourself? In most ways, no. Do you like grapes? Yep. How often do you cook for your family? Never. Is anyone in your family a lawyer? My cousin is, actually. Is anyone in your family an architect? Don't think so. Own any crystals? No. Favourite thing to write with? (pen, pencil, highlighter) Pencil. Top 5 favourite alcoholic drinks? I don't know, I haven't tried enough that I actually enjoy. Would you date someone bald? Yeah. Would you date someone who doesn’t want kids? I don't want kids either, so that's the only kind of person I'd date. That's something you can't really disagree on if you plan on lasting. Do you like candles? Sure. Favorite memory with a sibling? I dunno, probably something from when we were little kids playing together.
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chaotic-noceur · 4 years
Text
regarding pragma.
read it here
Dear @softpedropascal
wow this took so much longer than I thought it would whoops.
So, first off- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I hope you have the bestest day ever cuz you deserve it!
I’m incapable of forming coherent thoughts so um...here’s a cumulative post of my running commentary because my binge reading plans got disrupted so this seemed... neater? Idk. anyways, here you go. 
Part 1
No matter how many meetings and mediations you two went through, he still found a reason to keep dragging this out.
I read this as ‘meetings and meditations’ and was very confused for a sec 😂
That hat. You got him that hat. He still wore it?
omg u gave the hat a backstory. adkgadflhg 😍
He was tempted. God, was he tempted, but he shook his head and stood up straight. 
This just. Yes. We love a respectful man. 
I love all the little hints that you’re dropping about the reader and Frankie’s backstory. 
⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸
Part 2
He told himself long ago that be would never forgive her for what she did,
WHAT DID I DO OMG.
“Can’t you, I dunno, sign for him?” he asked.
😂😂Frankie. Sweetheart. Who do you take me for? I can’t forge someone’s signature. I don’t have the skills for that. 
There was a reason he didn’t say goodbye. He was afraid to. He was afraid that if he said them again, he would have to go another five years without seeing her. Or has it been longer?
mY hEaRt
Pope and and Frankie’s ENTIRE interaction. 😍 I love that he can see right through Frankie’s bs, loves him anyways but will give it to him straight. 
He was too busy thinking about how if he had gotten his shit together, he could be living here with her, taking walks to his favorite lake every day.
asdfgadfkglhdf!!! Boo it ain’t all your fault 😢 (or is it 😏)
It’s funny how the simplest touch can cause the most complex feelings—feelings that he had sworn he buried deep inside of him somewhere. It was a complicated thing trying to be angry at her because in that moment all was forgotten and forgiven.
the DEPTH. in these sentences. oml. I’m so ready to learn about this complicated backstory.  
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Part 3
“I can make him sign ‘em,” he offered.
YES. I love a low key threatening boi.
“Yeah, until you decided I wasn’t good enough,” 
“Did you want to show me what I could have had with you if I wasn’t such a fuck up.” He sighed and put his hands on his hips.
AFGHSKF OMG MY HEART.
“I’m trailing water and mud all over the place but just remember that I saved your life before getting mad, okay?” 
“Nothing. Just like saying your name.”
ahhhh these are precious!!  
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Part 4
“Yeah. People do that right? Day dates?” He honestly wasn’t sure. Dates weren’t his forte.
🥺 someone help him. He’s so cute omg. 
“We might’ve made out a little too,” he mumbled.
aksfhksdfg look at him turning into a flustered boy!!!
“No. I just…stopped looking up,”
Babes. Idk if the double meaning was intentional but like. Wow. That hit hard. 
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Part 5
and has a name like ‘Bill’ or ‘Tom’.”
oop. We love a subtle Redfly dig 😂
!!!! IDK WHAT TO BLOCKQUOTE BUT OMG FRANKIE BEING PROTECTIVE. THE READERS BACKSTORY. FRANKIE KISSING AT THE PAST BRUISES. ANGRY FRANKIE OMG. 😭
I’m sorry there’s probably some more amazing stuff after that but t’was not a good ace day so i skipped the smut
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Part 6
You hid your body from him at first and when he moved your hands, you covered your face. Then he told you to never hide from him—he would always think you were beautiful
🥺🥺 this is so soft omg
sorry skipped the smut but im sure it was beautiful
“I’m not going anywhere.” You moved his arms so you could kneel in front of him. “I’m staying.”
*incoherent screaming*
“You can ask me for anything. I would give up everything I for you.”
The whole ending scene was AMAZING okay but this. This line right here. Big hurt omg. He knows the weight of what he’s saying. He knows how hard the road to recovery is and how many things are gonna try push him off that path. But he says it anyways. And it really really shows just how much she means to him. Brava! 
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Part 7
lmao I really need to start reading the warnings 😂
She was never going to be sad longer than necessary if he had anything to do about it.
WHERE CAN I GET A FRANKIE OML 😭
“That no matter where we were, when we look up, we’re looking at the same moon.” He looked at her though she was still looking up. “That always kept me going, you know?”
THE SOFT. AHHHHHH
The moonlight seemed to shine directly on her and make her glow like some ethereal being. She was an angel. She had to be. The stars twinkled above them but he had his own right here right now.
eXcUsE mE. wHo gAvE yOu tHe rIgHt tO wRiTe sOmEtHIng tHiS bEAuTiFul
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Part 8
“Stop ruining my romantic moment, please.
HAHAHAH I LOVE!
I can’t even- Omg. This whole chapter. I have no words
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Part 9
“I can’t,” he said, voice broken. “Please just let me…let me hold you. Let me…”
IDK THE FULL CONTEXT TO THIS (really hating my ace-ness rn cuz this last line is so heartfelt) BUT OMG BROKEN FRANKIE I JUST. ARGHHH
you realized that you were embracing your entire world right then and there. Letting it go would be the hardest thing you’d ever do.
take my heart and crush it why don’t you omg. 😭😍
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Part 10
She was hurt again. And it was his fault again.
I can’t do it. I can’t be alone anymore.
asdfghjk GURL. WHO HURT YOU OMG. LEMME HURT THEM BACK. 
His world spun and he felt like he was falling. He fell and fell into the abyss with no one there to save him as the bag felt like it was burning a hole in his hand. Is it hot? He felt hot. Burning up. Had he finally died and gone to hell? God knows that’s where he belonged.
No. It’s just an overwhelming darkness. Nothing. And that’s what he wanted, right? To feel nothing.
*VERY INCOHERENT SCREAMING* This is beautiful writing omg. The raw emotion in this. Holy hell. 
oml. That transition from pure pain and angst into love just *chefs kiss*. Frankie deserves so much 😭
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Part 11
“It wasn’t supposed to make you cry,”
wHat eLsE wAs iT sUpPoSeD tO dO omg. 
This whole chapter was SO CUTE!!! The way that Frankie just knows things about her. UGH. 
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Part 12
“What if it’s big and pulls me in?!”
MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY OMG
“I don’t wanna die,” he whispered.
His life felt as though it was falling apart all over again and he realized it was because she was the one that held him together and now that he was leaving, everything was one big mess again.
*inaudible screaming*
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Part 13
That ending tho! I love that you gave them their own little thing with the moon. Its so sweet 🥰and the Pope-Frankie friendship moments. *melts*
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Part 14
okay i was gonna blockquote but there was too much to quote This whole chapter felt so raw omg. If you’re pulling from real experience then I’m so sorry you ever had to go through that *pulls you into the biggest hug ever* (assuming you like hugs, if you don’t... i send you an affectionate ‘rubbing my forehead into your shoulder’)
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Part 15
“You could’ve walked in here with your head shaved and I’d still love it…but…please don’t.”
😂 yessss give me the humour in this sad
still haven’t learnt to read the warnings oml 🤦🏻‍♀️
ahhhh the soft reassuring Frankie content!!!!
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Part 16
“Probably because it’s Wednesday,” he said.
“It is?” you asked.
“Yeah. What day did you think it was?”
I FEEL SO ATTACKED OMG. What even is time anymore.
asfadsdfgdhk Its so SOFFTTT. Is this what it’s like to fall in love??😭
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Part 17
hallelujah i’ve finally learnt to read the warnings
ngaww Frankie being all excited and soft 🥺🥺 are they going camping?? are we gonna get Frankie in his element??
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Part 18
I’m as flat as a board back there.
I feel attacked and this wasn’t even directed at me oml 😂😂
tHeY aRe sO iN lOvE oMg 😍
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Part 19
I get it, it’s embarrassing, but I’m not judging you for it.
YES. In this house, we don’t judge people who are struggling to find jobs!
“I wouldn’t say them if you didn’t deserve them. You deserve good things, Frankie. You may not feel like you do but you do. Always.”
He sighed and rubbed your back. “If you say it then it must be true.”
*incoherent screaming* we all deserve good things okay 😭
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Part 20
thank you for the warnings that i’ve finally learnt to read before reading the fic
What if I’m a lost cause? Just some pathetic druggie who can’t get his shit together…mooching off his girl.
NOOO You’re not just some pathetic druggie Frankie😭😭
“Sleepovers? Do I get to paint your nails? Do your hair?”
Our love has aged gracefully kinda like us.
THE SOFT OMG 🥺🥺
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Part 21
“With all due respect, sir, I’m not and have never been an addict. Yeah, I did drugs. Yes, I hurt your daughter and she had to leave, but you know what, we’re together now and nothing’s gonna change that. She’s forgiven me and she loves me and that’s all that matters.”
YAS. I love this change from nervous wreck to confidence! 
This is so happy and soft and sweet oml. My angsty soul doesn’t know how to deal. 😭
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Part 22
Sweet baby jesus. It was soft. And then it was not. And then it was soft again and I just. *incoherent screaming* GURL. 
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ludus
I’m gonna have a house right on the other side of the lake.
asdfgI I Have Feelings.
GURLLL. This was so innocent!! They’re both so young and cute and asgalsfjghsd. 
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eros
“Are you running away from something?” she asked, and he bristled. “From me because you love me and don’t know how to say it?”
*incoherent screaming* well shit. you go gurl! you call him on his crap!
I skimmed the smut but like Frankie being a nervous wreck is 🥺
If you wanna see someone else while I’m gone, you can.
*more screaming because OMG if only he knew what that would lead to*
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ania
O damn. I kinda loved his slow descend into darkness... The fact that the reader still clings on to hope and love and just, damn. I’m lost for words. 
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coda
... 
...
that’s all my brain feels right now. that was dark, but like. a good dark. It was heart wrenching but beautiful and- “I won’t be able to find you if I’m lost myself,” THIS. I just. *chefs kiss* but also, *ugly sobbing*. 
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melvillaa · 3 years
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An Ode to 2020
Not really sure why I’m awake right now. If this was pre-marriage, I would have taken out my laptop to start typing, but it’s not and Bri is knocked tf out, so here we are. I guess this is the ode to 2020 post that I’ve been meaning to annotate for a while now.
This has been the most transformative year of my life. So many changes in more ways than one. Way more ways. Try like 20. A lot of crying (which I never do.... or maybe i just don’t admit to, lmao), a lot of introspection, a lot of uncomfortability (is that a word?), and a lot of change. A whole lot.
The year started off with optimism and ended with the same notion. Full of hope and wonder for the year set before me, I couldn’t wait for 2020 - it was supposed to be the year all my dreams came true.. and in a weird way, it was! It was the year I got married to the love of my life(!!!!!!), reached 5 years at my corporate job, relocated to a new home in a new city and area code. It was all that - but it wouldn’t be my life if it wasn’t that, plus a little pizzazz, lol.
It’s hard for me to give myself grace. Truly I think I am the hardest on myself. Always empathetic of others and their experiences, but always giving myself the short end of the stick. Living in a pandemic has been wild - but living through my huge life changes in the middle of a pandemic has proven to be even more wild. As a person who doesn’t necessarily love change, I’ve struggled to give myself grace in the midst of the huge life changes I’ve experienced. I’m damn proud of how far I’ve come and how strong I’ve been to withstand the trials that I battle without me really saying a word to a single soul. As a person, me typing this stuff out is me telling the world my story - even if no one reads it. This year changed my life.
Marriage.
I became a wife and entered the covenant of marriage. It really is true that you enter into a marital bliss that is full of love you don’t experience until you get married. It’s unlocking a next level of your relationship and discovering a new version of yourself ... yourself plus another human. There really are different levels of love that you are surprised to find out that you are capable of. It’s different than just being in a relationship with one another. Now we’re bound to each other under a different covenant - before the eyes of God, our family, our friends and the law. It’s weird filling out paperwork and realizing that legally I am no longer a Villaflor. Well technically I’ll always be a Villaflor (Melanie Rose Villaflor Argamaso to be exact, okurrrttttt). I stepped into this role of being a wife and all the “responsibilities” that came with it and also fully embraced the fact that I have a person to do life with who loves me more than himself, who is always thinking of me, always taking care of me, always looking out for me, and who genuinely takes responsibility for me. It’s weird. It’s things I knew of during our relationship, but in marriage it’s somehow personified.. magnified. Marriage is so cool. Maybe it’s cool for me because there’s been such an emphasis and importance placed on it ever since I was a little girl. Bri and I didn’t have the “modern relationship” where we lived together prior to marriage. Yea we slept over and had our own respective places, but to really enter into marriage where everyday it’s me and you, and we have a whole ass home and life together is really wild. I love it. Doing life with Bri is me truly seeing that this man really would give me the world if I asked for it. Anything I could ever want or need, he fulfills it. Everyone always asks me what I’ve learned about him since we got married, or what’s something new about Bri that I’ve discovered ... one thing is that this man and his hobbies are unmatched, bro loves him some cars, any moving vehicle really, lmao. But mostly, I see his heart. He always wants the best - for me and for himself and anyone he cares about, sometimes to a fault when he can’t attain perfection but so badly wants to achieve it. But most times he can .. and then some. I’ve never met someone so naturally good at so many things. Tactically advanced, street smart as hell, a risk taker with the ability to fix just about anything, a people person with an infectious personality who could probably resell a piece of lint if he had to. We’re a family now. A little family of two but we’re both at a place where we really wouldn’t mind unlocking another level of love if it were time to. (He asks me for a “grey” from @greyandmama on IG almost weekly 🥺🥴😂).
Wedding.
It seemed like I waited so, so long for our wedding - for it to come and go like the wind. But instead of a nice sea breeze, it came and went like a tropical storm (... literally 😂but more on that later!) I remember being so excited on New Years Day at the start of 2020 ... the anticipation of our wedding in the next five months and really the start of all of our wedding festivities would begin within the next month ... or so I thought.
I remember hearing about the coronavirus making landfall in the US around the holidays in 2019 and it was already steadily spreading across the US, but not quite as widespread as it currently is. I was going on a work trip to Florida towards the end of January and I remember wearing a mask in the airport and on the flight and I conducted my usual Lysol-ing of my entire space. Everyone was looking at me like I was insane but I really didn’t care, haha. A flight attendant asked me why I was wearing a mask and I replied that I just wanted to stay healthy for my family. (...Still true, lol.) I had no idea at this moment how significantly the coronavirus was going to disrupt our world, how normal mask wearing would be, and how disinfectant wipes would soon be the most prized commodity in 21st century homes. 
February came like a rush - I started designing our wedding invitation suite which was something I had literally dreamed about. I had a vision from the very beginning and new exactly how I wanted everything to look down to the postage stamp. It reinforced a love for stationery design that I knew I had, but damn was I proud of the finished product. I was so meticulous about everything - from the fonts I used, the colors and hues of the paper, the thickness of the paper, the envelopes, the ink I used. It was so intricate, but it was the most fun I ever had while designing something. It didn’t feel like work at all, but it was pure love that I poured into those invitations. Bri’s bachelor party happened in early March and my bachelorette in Chicago (!!!) was supposed to happen at the end of March. The boys went to Jacksonville, Florida and were able to stay with Bri’s old roommate, Ace in his beautiful home. Coronavirus cases were on the upswing, especially in Florida and Atlanta. I was so freaked out. N95′s were no where to be found, but since Bri is a painter, he was able to score some through work. He wore one on the flight and literally got light headed due to lack of oxygen, lol. He had the time of his life in Florida while I poured my whole self into our invitations, lol. And as soon as the boys got back, the US started to shut down. 
Everyone began to work from home and businesses started closing up shop. Star couldn’t make it to my bachelorette, so she schemed her way into getting me to pole dance with all the girls, hahaha. It was literally the night before everything was supposed to shut down. No indoor dining or bars were going to be open at midnight the following Monday, so I was super thankful that I was able to have a mini bachelorette experience in our own little backyard.  
It was an anomaly to fly anywhere and airports became ghost towns. Each day we got a little closer to my bachelorette and myself and the girls were so excited. Itineraries were made, bickering ensued, flights were purchased, I bought outfits for every outing (... so much white, lol) Literally the only thing left for us to do was to actually fly to Chicago. Probably a week to a week and a half before we were supposed to fly out, Chicago issued a stay at home order and everything shut down. We had to make the difficult decision to cancel my bachelorette trip to Chicago and try to rebound and think of a plan B. The girls were so gracious. I’m so thankful for all the work they put in to try and make things work out for me. We tried to do a weekend trip to Ashville, NC but everything was so risky and there was so much unknown at this point. Covid mandates varied from state to state and things were quite literally changing by the day, the hour even. It just didn’t work out. Till this day I’m sad that I didn’t get to have the full bachelorette experience, but I’m still so, so thankfulI for my friends and the work that they put in to make everything feel as normal as possible. 
Home.
Careers.
Relationships.
Ok I’ll reflect on these things later. I’m sleepy, lol.
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