#but for someone just starting out that is a HUGE hurdle!!!

[mariasont]

hi !!!!! i love your hotch x oc x reid fic so much, literally got to work late because you updated and i just HAD to read it when the notif came in !

can i request a kinda fluff-y turning to smut fic about maybe reader's small hands compared to spencer's large hands (his hands are so INTOXICATING).

maybe the fluff part can be kinda cute with their first time holding hands starting from that "oh lets compare hand sizes" and then intertwining fingers?? one of the best spencer fic tropes/hcs is when he's usually not enthusiastic abt touching but when its You he loves it and hes been so touched starved DHSKDHHD // and then the smut can kinda be like how reader's hands make his dick look huge (or smth! im sorry this is my first time requesting a fic!!)

i hope im not coming out as being too demanding !! you can have all the freedom w this !!!! sorry sorry for the long request 🙈🙈🙈

love your work !!! 😙

HANDS, HANDS, and HANDS-------------

A/N: AHHHH your mind!!!!! I LOVE IT <3

we need a whole episode just dedicated to his hands fr!

thank you so much for requesting and the kind words, I hope I did it justice <3 xoxo

‧₊˚ ✩°｡⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆｡°✩˚₊‧

pairings: spencer reid x fem!reader

warnings: 18+ minors dni, hand kink, praise, size kink, m receiving oral, take a shot every time someone says sorry

wc: 1.9k

Your infatuation with Dr. Spencer Reid was an open book to everyone--damn profilers--well, everyone except the man of the hour, Dr. Reid himself. It was hard to say when it all started. Subtle changes crept in--the extra care you took in choosing your outfits to work; the way words suddenly became hurdles in conversations with him; the sensation of your heart nearly leaping out of your chest anytime he was in the vicinity. 

Despite your skills as a profiler, deciphering Dr. Reid was like trying to read braille through gloves. So, you pushed those feelings down, crushing them beneath a metaphorical heel to maintain professionalism. It wasn't exactly a successful strategy, but that wasn't the point. You reassured yourself that even if romance wasn't in the cards, friendship was the next best thing. And what a friend he was--remarkable in every way, which is why you found yourself here, in his apartment, dissecting case files together. It was a friendly gesture, surely, to escape the office when it becomes a little too suffocating. 

You felt your pulse race as he brought his fingers to his lips, preparing to sift through the stack of papers. A dryness clutched at your throat, fingers nervously fidgeting with the hem of your skirt, while you're sure your eyes betrayed a cartoonish adoration, practically orbiting with hearts. Forgotten was your own paperwork that now served as a makeshift blanket for your thighs, as he spoke. Your arm claimed the territory along the back of the couch, with your own hand gently propping up your check, a picture of relaxed attentiveness.

In the midst of his lecture about the golden ratio and its prevalence in nature, Spencer suddenly grabs a nearby book, flips to a diagram of a human hand, and says, "Did you realize that our hands are a prime example of this phenomenon? Give me your hand."

Your eyebrows knit together, your head angling subtly towards the boy genius. "Sorry, what?"

Without a word, Spencer lays your hand upon the diagram's expanse. Amidst the book, your hand seems smaller, delicate, a stark contrast the bold lines drawn on paper. 

He looks at you with a soft smile. "See, the size of one's hand doesn't really correlate with the golden ratio--it's more about the proportions within the hand itself. For instance, the length of your fingers compared to your palm, or the distance between the tip of your thumb and the tip of your pinky stretched out."

His hand leads yours across the pages, but you're barely registering the words. Instead, you're acutely aware of the warmth of his touch, causing your thighs to clench on their own accord, your mind tumbling over itself.

"Your hands are actually significantly smaller than the average," he comments, almost to himself. The statement is harmless, yet he finds his imagination wandering. He quickly refocuses, saying, "The range of hand sizes is quite broad, which is interesting biologically. Here--"

He extends his hand, palm open, beside yours--a natural extension of your conversation, yet he shifts slightly against the couch. Spencer was taken aback by his own actions. Physical touch was something he generally recoiled from, but here he was, seeking yours out. He realized this had become a habit, finding reasons to be near you, to feel your touch. Anytime there was something to be handed to you at work, he was quick to volunteer, all for the fleeting possibility of a brush of fingers.

He watched, captivated, as you aligned your palm with his, matching up the bottom of your palms. His attention was drawn to the stark difference between your hands; his, significantly larger, seemed to engulf yours entirely. He found the sight unexpectedly compelling. The disparity in size stirred his curiosity, leading him to wonder how your hand would look clasped around his cock.

His thumb grazed the back of your hand in a subconscious motion as he pondered out loud. "Did you know," he began, his voice sinking an octave, "that the ratio of the lengths of our second to fourth fingers is believed to correlate with various hormones, affecting the way we interact with others."

You found yourself holding your breath as you mapped the shape of your hands together, a subtle dampness beginning to form between your legs. This is what got you worked up? Clearly, you mused, getting laid was overdue. 

As if guided by a force beyond your control, your fingers gradually intertwined, each finger fingers its perfect counterpart. Recoiling as if from a burn, you realized the intimacy of the gesture, a rush of apologies escaping your lips. "Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to-"

A blush crept up Spencer's neck as he hastened to interject. "No, no, it's completely fine, really."

The moment passed, and you both redirected your focus to the paperwork. Yet, the routine task did little to dispel the residual thoughts of his touch. The size difference, the feeling of his larger hand wrapping around yours, and how ideally his fingers would look pumping inside of you or wrapping around your throat. It all kept playing on your mind, a silent movie that you can't stop watching.

Spencer too, seems lost in thought, his gaze drifting from the files to your hands--manicured and delicate. He watches, seemingly without awareness, as those same hands idly toy with the hem of your skirt, or the way they spin your earring when deep in thought. To him, these minor actions have suddenly become fascinating.

Spencer's voice cuts through the stillness as he resumes his concentration on the work before him. "How do you interpret this?" he probes, touching a finger to a page of the file perched on his lap.

You lean in, curiosity leading you to reach for the file. Your actions freeze momentarily as your knuckles brush against his crouch. You pause, blinking deliberately, as you second-guess what you felt. He was hard as a rock.

You could feel the heat rushing to your cheeks, eyes growing wide with surprise. "Oh, um, sorry," you muttered. 

In a rapid movement, Spencer combed his fingers through his hair, causing the curls to obstruct his view. He snatched a pillow and tossed it in his lap, tilting his head back against the couch with a look of embarrassment. "No, I'm sorry, I, uh--"

Anticipating a scholarly lecture on the male hormones, you quickly interject. "Do you want help?"

Spencer's eyes grew wide as he regarded your face. Your lashes fluttered with a slow blink, your demeanor completely serious. His traced the flush of your cheeks, the gentle parting of your lips, the accelerated rise and fall of your chest. His head tilted slightly, expecting the punchline to follow.

He let out a puff of air. "Do I want what?"

He noted your head tilting to the side, mirroring his own actions. Your hand reached forward, poised to replace the pillow on his lap. Your pinky dragged across the material of his jeans, moving with excruciating slowness. 

"That seems painful," you comment quickly, before your sudden courage fades. "Let can help."

You moved swiftly to his belt, and you could hear his breath hitch in short bursts. He murmured your name, his hand threading through your hair to grasp gently at the nape of your neck.

You shot him an innocent smile as you edged his pants down, just enough to access his boxers. Your smile made him believe he could come on the spot--the way you looked so eager, like you had been waiting for this. He let out a shaky breath as you released his length from his boxers.

You were engulfed in a dizzying feeling, your eyes widened to saucers as you seized his massive cock. "Holy shit, Spencer, you're huge."

You were barely aware of the words tumbling from your lips as you gawked. The impact on him was immediate, the intensity of your graze was maddening. Your small hands encircled his base, accentuating his size. His grasp on your neck grew firmer as he coaxed your head down. 

"Don't play," came his growl, so out of character. Warmth bloomed in your face, excitement bubbling in your chest as your thighs clasped together.

You flashed him a gentle, unassuming smile as you hastily took him in your mouth. You felt like a new person, an unprecedented need flowing through you.

Spencer let out a sharp hiss as your lips met his cock, taking him as far as you could. He mentally thanked whatever gods existed, unsure of what he had done to deserve this. His hands deftly collected your hair in his grasp, aiding you in guiding him even deeper. His breaths hastened as he praised, "Good god, baby."

His words only egged you on, your movements turning sloppy as you bobbed up and down, working every inch of his cock. You never knew sucking a man off could be so enjoyable. You wanted to savor the moment, to savor him. You encircled the based with your other hand, granting yourself reach to what had been inaccessible to your mouth as you started to synchronize your movements.

"Look at you," Spencer muttered hoarsely, his gaze flickering to your hands. Those damn hands, they looked so perfect around him, even better than he imagined. "You look like you were made for this."

You moaned around him in response, the slickness between your legs starting to drop down your thighs upon his praise. This elicited a hiss from him, tightening his grip in your hair as he drew you away from his throbbing cock, spit trailing from your mouth as you separated. 

"Wha-?" Your question hung in the air, marked by the crease of your confusion on your forehead. 

He didn't let you finish, simply stating. "On your knees."

Without hesitation, you followed his direction, your hands clasped in anticipation as you moved from the couch to the floor, your balance settling back into your heels as he towered over you. "Open."

You complied with his command, easing your jaw as he guided himself onto your tongue. A soft moan escaped you, enveloping his cock. He coaxed his length into your mouth, your hands steadying on his thighs as he all but used your face.

Spencer's hands cradled your face, fully encompassing your cheeks as he thrusted into your mouth. His pulse thundered at a pace he hadn't thought possible, and fuck, he wouldn't mind if this was how death welcomed him. There you were, on your knees, so compliant around his cock. His breaths grew rapid as your nails trailed up his thighs. 

"You're so good," he muttered, eyes casting down upon you, your glazed expression, the drool peeking out from the corners of your lips. "So good. 'M so close."

He moves to withdraw from your mouth, but your hands find their way to the back of his thighs, holding him in place, denying his escape. He exhales a deep, unrestrained moan, thrusting into your mouth once more, shallowing moving as the warm liquid fills your mouth. 

He gazes, spellbound, as you swallow his come completely, your head lolling back in total bliss. In that instant, he realizes his willingness to do anything to keep you close, to see you like this--spent, disheveled, and content.

Breaking the silence, you ask, "Did that help?" His laughter, soft and subdued, fills the air as he reaches out, cupping your cheeks once more. He descends to meet you, his kiss messy and desperate, finding the taste of himself lingering on your lips as his hands untangle your knotted hair. 

"You're amazing," he exhaled, their lips parting. "Now, let me return the favor."

[yuuuhiii]

handpicked with love

includes : Inumaki toge x reader, 1.2k words , fluff, canon story followed, reader has a ct, a start of something new?, mutual pining

note: couldn’t stop thinking of this :( so I wrote thisss. Should I make this a series???:0

shake = agree

okaka = disagree

takana = worried

Transferring to a new high school was never easy. Especially when it was in the middle of the year. However, you didn’t transfer alone, a very timid boy with a ton of cursed energy that he didn’t know how to control was with you.

Hooray! 

Introductions were pretty rough, due to Okkotsu and his unsettling curse but you all got through it. The only girl whom you soon knew as Maki wasn’t very impressed by either of you. You also didn’t get a proper explanation about the Panda that you and Okkotsu were dying to be told. He was the most welcoming though.

However, there was a specific person that caught your eye and no it wasn’t Panda.

A spikey white-haired boy with half his face covered to be precise.

Since you had arrived he hadn’t seemed to acknowledge your presence at all, it was a bit hurtful, even more so that he seemed to hit it off with Okkotsu.

You walk with Maki in the front, yet she‘s already asking about training with you, you turn around making eye contact with the boy.

His eyes were beautiful, the light doing a perfect job of illuminating his violet irises.

However, he quickly averts his eyes, staring outside the window. You pout, turning back to Maki.

“Eh? Don’t worry about him, he can’t talk.” She shrugs and when you’re about to ask Panda speaks.

“Maki you can’t just leave it at that.” He sighs, shaking his head.

“He has a cursed speech technique, allowing anyone who’s listening to obey whatever he says. So in protection for everyone, he speaks in riceball ingredients.” Panda holds a thumbs up and you can hear a small ‘shake’ leave the boy.

You blink at him and smile. “You must be pretty strong then.”

Upon your reply a huff leaves him, his hands shoved in his pockets, his red ears going unnoticed by the students. It makes Maki groan and Panda tease him.

Over the weeks, despite your liking for the boy and wanting to engage in conversation with him, he didn’t seem to meet you halfway.

Nonetheless, the students knew something you didn’t and Toge made sure they wouldn’t open their mouths.

You sigh in your dorm room, it was a pretty day outside, spring was just around the corner so the days were much prettier. You rest on your windowsill taking in the scenery of your school.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see someone moving around. You’re met with Toge walking around with a watering can, watering various plants and flowers.

He looks so at peace, humming a little tune. It’s a rare occasion when his scarf is not fully wrapped around his mouth and you’re met with his beautiful smile. You smile fondly at him, in complete awe.

He feels your stare and he looks around, catching your eyes. A small gasp leaves you as he blinks at you. You pull away from the window, your heart beating erratically.

He definitely thought you were weird now.

To make everything even better (worse), the spawn of Satan (Gojo-Sensei), had appointed you to a mission with Toge.

“Now I know you might be nervous but you’re in good hands! Inumaki is a Semi-Grade 1 so he’ll take care of you.” Gojo smiles, walking away with a wave.

You were still a little confused about how he could just leave to two teenagers to fend off curses but you had to accept it.

You glance over at Toge as he walks through the hospital. You fidget with your hands, chewing at your lip.

He stops abruptly holding his arm out, you glance at him and he gestures for you to stay.

“What? No, I’m coming with you.” You frown and he blinks, shaking his head, he gestures for you to quiet down.

Your frown deepens as you stalk slowly behind him. The next second he’s pushing you as a huge unsettling blue curse hurdles toward him.

“Inumaki!” You shout as he rips down his scarf, yelling at the curse to plummet. However shortly after he falls to the ground, coughing up blood. You run to him, kneeling next to him.

“Are you okay?! Did it hurt you?” You’re hovering over him, he’s trying to say something else but his voice is too raspy for you to determine what he is saying.

As you’re about to say something you feel the presence of the curse behind you. Before you can think you’re forming a bubble around Toge.

Due to your expert channeling of cursed energy, your cursed technique was making force fields or small balls of force.

However, the force field didn’t hold for long since you were launched into the wall by the curse, prompting you to black out.

You blink your eyes open and you’re met with a bright light and white room. You groan sitting up, taking in your surroundings.

It's only then that you recall the events that had got you in Shoko’s office making you snap your eyes open.

“Where’s Inumaki!” You shout and Shoko stares at you confusingly, yet before she can say anything you’re shooting up, running out the door.

You run down the halls, and even though your head is pounding so is your heart. You’re breathless, looking like a crazed lady as you roam the dorm.

You slow down once you see Inumaki in front of your dorm door, with flowers that look all too familiar. Hand-picked flowers from the bunch he’d been growing.

You could tell he looked distraught as he contemplated leaving the flowers in front of your door, a small with them as well.

“Inumaki?” You call out to him and he jumps, snapping his head towards you.

His eyes are wide as he blinks at you. You slowly inch towards him, stopping right in front of him.

“Are those for me?” You ask sheepishly and his ears flush red holding the flowers and note towards you.

You smile down at them, moving to open the letter he rests his hands on top of you preventing you from opening it. You both are shocked by his action but he pulls away fast. He coughs awkwardly, patting your head and then he’s rushing away.

You enter your room, eager to read what he has said in the letter. You sit down on your bed, and opening it.

‘Hi Y/n, I’m sorry for not protecting you on the mission, I hope you feel better. Thank you for saving me, that was brave of you since we don’t really know each other that well. I hope you like the flowers, I’m pretty sure you know they're from outside the dorm rooms, I saw you staring >:) Anyways…I’m sorry if it seemed like I didn’t like talking to you, you make me nervous lol, but I like being around you. Even though you’re not talking to me, I like how it feels to be around you. Here’s my number, it’s easier to talk with me like this. I really hope you get better and I’m still sorry, I also hope we can get to know each other better :)’ — Inumaki.

You smile fondly at the letter, and you hug the note close to you, already clicking his number in your contacts.

You finally got the opportunity to talk to the boy you admired, you weren’t gonna waste any time!

© yuuuhiii 24 : don’t plagiarize, translate, or post my work on other platforms

[darylsdelts]

I have this scenario in my head where Daryl and Reader have had a slow burn romance since Quarry, dancing around each other and their feelings but finally getting together at the prison. But because it’s Daryl’s first relationship, it’s slow. He’s shy, it’s unknown territory for him and the most the ever get to do within their relationship is sleepovers in each other’s cells and makeout sessions that never went further.

It’s something new, blossoming and innocent. Then they get to Alexandria and the only way Reader can get Daryl to shower is with them, and so they shower together and it’s all innocent and sweet, taking their relationship a step further. Then! (No I’m not done 😈)

Their first time ends up being a couple days or so before the huge hoard comes hurdling toward Alexandria. And it’s so intimate, slow and vulnerable of them with Reader telling Daryl they love him whilst he’s buried in them and it makes it all the more romantic. So after that it’s shy smiles and lingering gazes about finally doing the thing they’ve wanted to for so long…before chaos insues and the wall comes down and Negan and yea! 🤣

I don’t know why but this is how I’ve imagined Daryl’s first time to be with someone!!! I think it would take a while for him to really go all the way with his partner but between walkers and constant trouble, it would be quite far and few between. Also considering how he goes hunting and recruiting in Alexandria 🤷‍♀️

I totally agree with you, this is absolutely how it would go and I love gentle Daryl.

Now… I’m not going to try write this like a proper fic because I really don’t think I can do it justice but I’ll give my detailed thoughts??? Is that a thing??? I’m so sorry anon😭.

Warnings: cream pie, p in v, mentions of scars, mentions of premature ejaculation, ummm I think that’s it ❤️

18+, mdni!!

Darylxfem!reader

Sleepovers and making out in each-others cell… your cell because Daryl doesn’t have one . The first time, it’s very teenager-ish, facing each-other, sat crossed legged. You guide the first kiss, holding his jaw as you first give him a peck and you can feel his skin heat up under your palm. You pull away and his eyes are darting around the mattress, shy to make eye contact. You push his hair away from his face and he finally looks up, his eyes look needy but nervous.

“Would you like to kiss me, Daryl?” Straight to the point but with a soft voice is how you speak.

He nods but makes no advance so you guide his hand to your cheek and eventually he leans forward, pressing his lips to yours. He gives you another peck but then to your surprise, kisses you again, tilting his head slightly. He’s messy and sloppy with it, he has no clue what he’s doing but you don’t care, Daryl’s perfect and you’ll let him kiss however he likes, lord knows if you tell him he’s not doing it right he won’t try again, he’d feel humiliated.

You part your lips, inviting him to start using his tongue and as soon as he notices, he pulls away. You assume it’s too much too fast and that’s completely okay. You’re about to tell him that you can stop but he speaks first.

“Ain’t dun it b’fore… dun know how ta… uh… do the… tongue part”

His face is glowing red now and he can’t look at you.

“That’s okay, you don’t have to, we can stop for now if you like”

Daryl shifts his legs so that they uncross, one folded and the other hanging off the edge of the bed with his foot planted on the cool ground, he scoots his hips back too. Your eyes travel down to where his body subtly squirms and you can just about see his arousal that he’s trying to hide with this new position and you smirk.

“Did you… want me to show you how?”

Daryl nods a little too eagerly than he’d like to admit but you take quick action, leaning in for him to kiss you, you put your thumb on his chin to pull gently so he parts his lips timidly, giving you the chance to run your tongue against his lips and then push your tongue gently against his own. You move your lips in a timely rhythm that Daryl easily matches and you make out. It’s still sloppy but it’s incredible, especially when you notice Daryl getting a little breathless, his hips keep twitching slightly.

After a good amount of time, you pull away and he exhales deeply through his wet and kiss-swollen lips.

“I liked that”, you whisper as you smooth his hair over.

He replies with a shy nod, he definitely enjoyed it, if he had to be honest, he was way too close to cumming in his pants, but that’s as far as it’s gonna go for now, until Daryl says he’s ready for more. You reassure him that everything can be at his pace and he doesn’t need to feel guilty or silly for being ‘late to the game’.

After that first time, the two of you would have make out sessions every night that you could, pretty much always ending in your panties being uncomfortably wet and Daryl having to wait out a painful erection or sneak off to the showers to take care of himself if it was late enough but he didn’t really like doing that, he felt like it was disrespectful toward you.

After the prison fell, it felt like Daryl put your relationship on the back burner. You understood, he was stressed and scared but wouldn’t show it. He stopped talking to you like you were his girl and more like a partner in crime and it hurt but you tried not to make it a big thing.

Daryl felt guilty, he knew he was being dismissive of your relationship but there was so much in his head that he just couldn’t, he didn’t wanna mess anything up and he was scared so he did what he knows best, he pulled away.

He continues on this way for a while, even after Beth had gone, you really tried to get through to him because you knew he was in pain but he wouldn’t break. You knew he’d gone off into the trees to cry and although you wanted to be the one he cried to, you were glad that he knew well enough that he had to get it out.

When Daryl had come back to tell the group about the barn he’d found, he didn’t look your way, he knew that you knew and he couldn’t take the guilt. He knew you wanted to be there for him and he was pushing you away but he didn’t know how to stop.

Before the storm hit the barn, you were sat with your back to the wall, knees drawn to your chest when Daryl quietly sat next to you, shifting so his shoulder touched yours. His hand made its way next to yours on the hay-scattered ground and his pinkie linked with yours without words. It felt like a breath of fresh air, now you knew that he was aware, he was aware you were feeling left out from what was going on with him.

His voice was whispery and low when he spoke.

“M’sorry y/n… gon’ try harder…”

You took his hand fully into your own and bring it to your lips to kiss it, the kiss silently saying that you appreciate him, you believe him, you trust him.

As soon as the group integrates into Alexandria, you feel Daryl become more attentive and clingy. He’s uncomfortable within the community at first, even when the group finally gets out in separate houses, Daryl doesn’t come to bed with for the first week, he sleeps on the couch like a guard dog. He’s so anxious about your safety that he just cannot relax.

However, after that first week, you manage to coax him to share the bed with you and… he’d never admit it but he slept like a baby, his mess of hair sprawled across his face with his head rested on your chest. The closeness felt good but the pang of guilt still hasn’t left, feeling as if he simply doesn’t deserve any of this but then he opens his eyes to your face and he just… he doesn’t care, he wants to deserve this, he wants to be part of this if this is how he gets to live.

So he’s happy when he’s given a job by Aaron Raleigh, he’s happy when he’s out scouting and scavenging and he’s most happy when he can bring you back something from a trip. A stone, a flower, a figurine, anything that makes you say “thank you my love”. He leaves notes in the mornings when he leaves too early to say good bye and he kisses your forehead when he comes home. He feels it growing, the feeling in his chest and he just wants to be with you in every way.

Since before you’d found Alexandria, the sexual frustration between the two of you was obvious and it was getting to be too much for the two of you. It was at the point where Daryl would be on a run with Aron and without realising, his mind would wander to how your body would feel against his, how your hands would feel on his skin that nobody had touched before, how he hoped he could make you feel good… god he just wants to know what you look like when you cum. He knows that you must touch yourself, especially after the amount of times he’d cut make out sessions short, practically leaving you hanging and he felt guilty for not going the whole way, but now he felt ready and quite frankly, his hand wasn’t doing the trick anymore.

One day, after a particularly tiring recruitment mission with Aaron, Daryl had returned home, sweaty and more frustrated than he’d ever been. He could feel that he was leaking and he felt humiliated that he had been that way for half the day since you’d been stuck in his head.

He entered through the front door of your shared house, quickly dropping his crossbow and kicking his boots off. He pretty much speed walked up the stairs and stopped the door of your bedroom. He knocked of course, it was his room too but he respected your privacy as you would do the same. He waited a few seconds before he lifted his hand to knock again but then the door opened, he nearly punched you square in the face.

Your eyebrows raised and then you giggled.

“Eager to see me?” You smiled, and scanned his body quickly and he did the same to you.

You were stood in just a towel wrapped around you, your hair wet.

“Did ya get out the shower to answer the door? M’sorry, didn’t mean to make ya cut it short, know ya enjoy em…”

Your eyes linger on his crotch and then flicker back to his eyes, his situation was obvious but you weren’t exactly sure why he was worked up down there. Maybe he was feeling just as pent up as you.

“No, no, don’t apologise, I was getting out as you knocked” you move to the side, giving him space to enter into your homely bedroom.

He stepped past you and took a few steps toward the bed and just stood awkwardly, shifting his feet subtly, trying to make his obvious erection not-so obvious. He moved his hands in front of his crotch to try and hide it but now it was more obvious, Daryl never stands like that.

“You alright, D?”

Daryl looks at his feet for a beat then back up to you and nods, he’s so fucking shy. Why? You’ve been together for so long now, why can’t he just say he’s going insane because he wants to be in you, he wants to love you in every possible way.

You walk over to him, sitting on the bed and pulling on his arm so he sits beside you. You know what’s going on, of course you know, you always do, can always see right through him.

“So… is there something you want to talk about sweetheart?… you know you don’t gotta knock, right? This is our home…”

Daryl nods, but now you’re not entirely sure what he’s agreeing to.

“Was thinkin’ bout ya all day today… well… every day... for a while now an’… I thought I should tell ya tha’… um… I can’t- I dun-…”

You chuckle softly then squeeze his shoulder, sensing that he was getting all caught up in his head as usual.

“Daryl? Relax huni… can ya tell me what you’re meanin’? Whatever it is, ya don’t gotta be afraid, okay?”

It’s that soft smile that brings him back to earth, making him feel like nothing he could say could be wrong. He takes a deep breath and quickly gathers himself and his courage.

“I… I wan’ be with ya… like… ya know, I need ya in the way I ain’t had ya yet… I have for a while but I been scared to say ‘cause… ain’t never dun’ ‘at b’fore but I dun… I dun think I can wait no more”

He takes a deep breath and then finally looks up at you, straight into your loving and understanding eyes.

“Okay” is all you reply with.

“…Okay?” He asks.

“Daryl, do you have any idea how badly I need you? How torturous it is to watch you get dressed every morning? Those fucking arms flexing with every movement and that fucking hair framing that pretty fucking face.”

Daryl stares at you silently, bewildered.

“Sorry… you’re just so beautiful to me Daryl… and I’ve been feeling the same, probably for a lot longer than you have so… yes. And it don’t matter ya ain’t done it before Darlin’, we can take it slow, or at whatever pace you want”

You take his hand in yours and bring it to your lips and kiss it. You’re sure that by this point, your mans situation must be starting to feel a little painful so you quickly move to kiss at his jaw and then his lips, softly holding the side of his face. Daryl whimpers a little, his hips involuntarily twitching upwards like they always do but this time you were gonna make him feel good.

You pull away from the kiss and move your hand to his belt.

“May I?”

He nods.

“Need your words, Dixon.”

“Yes, you can…”

You make quick work of undoing his belt and then the buttons on his jeans, you can feel how hard he is just beneath the fabric and you can tell that even just the feeling of you unbuttoning his pants is enough as he has his face in the crook of your neck, breathing heavily against your soft skin. Once they’re undone, he lifts his hips from the bed and pushes them fully off, leaving them in a puddle on the carpet. He finds some confidence somewhere within him and he caresses your jaw and leans in to kiss you. It’s the neediest kiss he ever given but he’s not as sloppy as he used to be, he’s a great kisser now and you can feel yourself getting wet.

Your fingers fiddle with the first few buttons of his shirt to get them undone and he pulls from the kiss. You know why, you’ve seen the scars before but this is different, you know how scary this must be for him. You see a flash of humiliation in his otherwise love drunk eyes and you give him a reassuring smile.

“I know baby, I know… you don’t need to feel ashamed or nervous, I promise to handle you with care but it’s your call… on or off?”

He stares into your eyes then looks down at your fingers on the buttons of his dark grey shirt.

“Off… want ta.”

And with that you unfasten the rest of the buttons, pushing the fabric off his shoulders and he shrugs it off, leaving him in just his underwear. He goes back to kissing you and you place his calloused hands on the edge of your towel, he quickly gets the message and he pulls at it and it drops, revealing your soft skin to his gaze. He drags his pupils across your bare chest, taking in the sight of your perky breasts, and without even a second though, his palm is covering one of them, kneading gently before he drags his thumb across your stiffened nipple and he lets out a shaky exhale as you make a small whimpering sound.

“So pretty… my girl…”

Your cheeks redden, you know you’re all his but when he says it out loud it feels good, possessive, and you like that.

You push the towel off of you, letting it join his clothes on the floor. That’s when you glance at his bulge in his boxers. A considerable expanse just below the waist band is pretty much soaked from his intense arousal. You run your hand along his thigh and you can see his cock twitch beneath the fabric, a new bead of precum soaking through the cotton.

“Shall we get these off, baby?”

You didn’t expect it but as soon as you said that, he had his thumbs hooked under the waist band and was dragging them down his thighs, his dick slapping against his lower tummy, his pink tip shiny with precum.

When he stood up to kick them off his feet, you scoot to the middle of the mattress, laying on your back with your knees up.

When Daryl looked back, he visibly shivered at the sight of your glistening folds, all for him, he can quite believe his luck with a woman like you.

You sense him getting caught in his thoughts again so you reach your hand out to him which he takes and then you lead him to sit on his knees in front of you. Then he leans over you, his elbows either side on your head as his face comes down to yours, your lips connecting once again.

You’ve waited long enough now, you buck your hips up, causing his throbbing cock to rub against the fold between your thigh and your pussy. He lets out a low groan then his left arm shifts down so his hand can grab at your hip and hold you still.

“Don’t… don’t do that sugar…”

You whimper at his subtle display of dominance and ultimately hold still like he asked.

“M’gon’ get to it, sweet girl”

He gives you one last kiss before sitting back on his heels and pulling you closer by your thighs so your legs are now either side of his hips.

“Please” is all you can get out of your mouth as his eyes fixate on your dripping arousal.

“You’re so beautiful, y/n… I love you… so much”

He said it, he meant it.

Tears almost brims your eyes.

“I love you too, Daryl… so much”

He squeezes your thigh as he smirks a little then letting go to grip the base of his cock. Running it against your folds and pressing the tip to your clit.

“Need you, Daryl… please”

“I know baby, I know”

You’re a bit stunned at this newfound dominant side to your lover, maybe its because of his desperation but you don’t have much time to ponder over it because then he’s pushing the tip into your tight entrance.

“Fuck, y/n… you’re so tight Darlin’”

You whine loudly, “y-you’re so big… shit…”

He strokes some hair off your face and looks at you with care.

“Need me to stop?”

“No! For christ sake, don’t fucking stop”

He chuckles at your profanity, for a girl who’s usually so soft and sweet, you can be demanding when you want to be.

He slowly pushes all the way in, his breath shaky, he knows he won’t last long, it’s his first time after all but he can already feel you clenching around him.

He pulls out half way and then thrust back in with a deep moan. He watches how your eyes squeeze shut as you try to adjust to his size and the your face turns to pleasure as he presses the pad of his thumb to your clit.

“Daryl… Daryl…”

He starts up a steady rhythm with his hips, pumping his cock into your wet heat.

“Wanna watch you cum baby… cmon…”

You bite your lip at his words, feeling the heat spread in your lower tummy and then he starts to rub his thumb in circles on your swollen nub.

“M’close... I’m… gonna…” you practically mumble out these words.

“Me too, sugar… cum for me… fuck…”

He kisses your neck as your walls clench around him as you reach your climax, clawing at his shoulders and thats enough for Daryl. His balls draw up tight as he lets out a whimpery moan, shooting his thick, hot cum into you in fast spurts.

He continues to rock into you a few more times before he falls limp on top of you then slowly rolling onto his back beside you after he pulls out his softening cock.

“Ya okay?” He asks, almost straight back into his shy demeanour.

“Thank you, Daryl” you turn your head to look at him, his hair stuck to his forehead with sweat and you giggle at the fact that neither of you barely lasted five minutes.

“We both needed it bad, huh?”

He scoffs then gets comfy on his side, giving you a forehead kiss.

After that first night, it was all shy glances and pink cheeks when you crossed paths during the day in Alexandria. Of course carol caught on, as she always does, and teased him relentlessly but was overall ecstatic for him. Most of the group could tell something had changed since Daryl was less snappy and you were more social.

The times after, the both of you managed to last longer than five minutes which Daryl prides himself on and you think that’s adorable. Your relationship only grows stronger, with more trust and understanding, as well as uncovering some unknown kinks on Daryl’s side and you swear not to tell a soul.

Just realised I completely missed out the quarry part and the shower part but I guess I kinda replaced it with the bed thing, so I’m sorry! But I would guess it would be him pretending to be annoyed by you or something… I hope this is okay!!! I wasn’t sure how to end it 😭

[yarasdead]

matt and his pregnant gf are on my mind heavyyy today I just know he’d take the sweetest care of her :(

this is such a cute ask ahhhh i love dad!matt so much :(

matty & his pregnant gf.

matty would probably start to tear up when you tell him too. you found out earlier that day and just couldn't keep it from him for a long time. buzzing around your guys' home as you wait for his arrival. immediately jumping up when you hear his eyes jingling in the door. patiently waiting as you watch him set all of his things down, leave his shoes and hate near the door as he walks towards you. embracing you in a hug and kiss.

"missed you. been a long day." he mumbles against your lips.

you smile. "i think i have something that could make it better."

"oh, yeah?" he corks up an eyebrow at your words.

nodding, you reach behind you, removing the pregnancy test from the band in your sweatpants, handing it to him. he looks at it, taking in what the little word on it says.

pregnant.

he looks up at you, eyes wide."

"no way!"

"yes way."

he'd pull you into a bone crushing hug, burying himself in the crook of his neck. letting out a small, "thank you."

because matty melts when it comes to you, and now he melts for his unborn child too. thank you for making him a father, thanking you for wanting to go into parenthood together.

matt would be even more attentive from there on! always rushing to complete a task for you.

you're trying to reach for a bowl in the cupboard? matt's right behind you, hand on the small of your back getting it for you.

having midnight cravings? matt's slipping on a shirt, sweatpants, his hat, and slides and driving to the nearest store to get it for you. he even stays up along side with you as you eat it.

your feet and ankles swollen? he's guiding you to the couch, quickly turning on your comfort show before he runs to get a bottle of lotion to rub your feet.

are you months into pregnancy and your back is aching? matt is right there to stand behind you to push up and take some of the weight off of your back from the heavy bump.

don't even get me started on how the two of you announce it to bomens and the rest of the crew. you guys would probably wait until you enter your second trimester to make sure everything is healthy with the baby. it wouldn't be any extravagant reveal but you guys do privately commission someone to custom make a bad omens style onesie. matt would quietly slip away to get it from where the two of you have been keeping it away for this exact moment. he comes and ask the guys if they'd be interested in adding this to the next merch line up. they all just stare at the little onesie before it clicks and they look at you. a huge group hug definitely happens as they hurdle over to you while matt grumbles about giving you air.

you also cannot tell me that matt is not the biggest sucker for baby clothes. the tiny onesies, tiny socks, tiny shoes, tiny everything. it makes his heart swell at thinking that in just a few months you and him are going to have your own tiny human that is the perfect mix between the two of you.

reality hit him like a truck the first time he ever felt the baby kick.

"matty! come here quick!"

matt comes rushing from out the bathroom, toothbrush hanging from his mouth.

"wha' wa' wrong?" he ask the best he could with toothpaste in his mouth.

you giggle at him. "nothings wrong. sprout is moving, want you to feel them."

visibly seeing how matt becomes relaxed at the fact that both you and the baby are okay. he holds a finger out before going back into the bathroom. rinsing out his mouth and setting his toothbrush into the holder. emerging from the bathroom once again to climb into bed.

"you had me worried."

"'m sorry. i just want you to feel them." you apologized, taking one of matt's hands to place it on your growing belly, right over the spot you felt them kick.

after a few seconds of his hand being there, matt frowns at you. "i missed it."

"it's only been a few seconds. speak to them. they know your voice."

matt shifts further down the bed. resting his head against your belly.

"hi, sprout. i'm your daddy. your mom and i can't wait to meet you. i used to think life couldn't get better when i got with your mom, but now you're going to be here pretty soon, jus' gotta finish cooking. you're going to be the most badass kid ever because not only am i your dad but you're mom is the most badass person i know."

you smile down at him, bringing a hand to swipe some of the hair that fell in his face behind his ear.

"we already love you so much, more than anything."

and with that a kick.

[wilcze-kudly]

Sure we can rag on Bolin for not realising he joined the Earth Kingdom equivalent of the Nazi party and call him an idiot for it (deserved) but honestly I can't really fault him for it?

Like the ostrich effect is a thing and we are watching it in full effect here. We've seen that Bolin is a character that deals very poorly with conflict. Like it's super obvious he'd avoid standing up to Kuvira as much as he could.

One of Bolin's biggest hurdles as a character is that he is looking for a purpose, the rest of team Avatar having 'found themselves'. So it's not out of character for him to join Kuvira.

I feel like he's also compensating for the loss of Korra, who was in recovery at the time by following Kuvira.

It's very obvious that Korra had a huge impact on Bolin's life, as she did with all of Team Avatar. But Bolin had definetly attached himself very strongly to her. He's been following Mako around his entire life, been a follower for most of his life. And then his first real friendship outside of family follows a similar pattern.

Korra is like the perfect character for Bolin to project his weird codependency thing onto. She's an effortless leader, very forceful, decisive and straightforward. Someone who he can easily listen to and carve out a path he can follow. And following the Avatar around allows him to do something worthwile and good. To actually help. With the added benefit that it gets him people's approval, something he so clearly desperately needs and craves.

Then Korra becomes so injured that she has to be placed in physical therapy for an indeterminate ampunt of time.

So Bolin projects that need and codependency on someone else. Kuvira. In his argument with Mako he states it clear as day: 'I mean, Kuvira is basically just like Korra. She might seem hard to deal with, but just because she's so passionate and believes in what she's doing.'

He gets to continue doing good and making people like him while under very clear orders he can follow.

I mean, this boy is traumatised. Clearly, Mako took the brunt of the horrors of their childhood, but it would be incredibly stupid to say that Bolin isn't fucked up as well. Clearly in a different way but fucked up nonetheless. I think this codependency thing is something both brothers benefitted from as kids but that's a conversation for another day.

And the events of the first three books are also traumatic?

Like he's just been part of a civil war/end of the world so excuse him for hoping to catch a break. I will once again refer you to the ostrich effect. Another war breaking out is probably like worst case scenario in his mind.

I feel like for him, if he opens his eyes to what Kuvira is doing is accepting that there is once again a 'big conflict' in his life. And that his loved ones are once again in danger. And worse, that he's contributed to it.

I can also see it all being a case of 'well ive waded neck deep into this swamp, now i gotta see this through'. Like he's sunk so much time and energy into this cause, it can't be all wrong, right?

Sure, ego is probably a big part of his behaviour. Everyone is telling him that Kuvira is bad and that automatically puts up the defences. Bit I can see how these warnings feel like a direct personal attack at Bolin himself. He was also incredibly isolated from most of his friends when serving Kuvira. Other than Zhu Li and Varrick, who aren't exactly peers.

So he's lonely on a train most of his time and when he does reuinte with his loved ones they start criticising his life choices . I can see him getting defensive and automatically resistant to critisism.

And Kuvira is also shown to be very good at emotuonal manipulation and threats and stuff. And Bolin, a chronic people pleaser whith a lot of trauma is, like, the perfect victim for those shenanigans. Bolin is canonically bad at reading situations that are detrimental to him (look at the entirety of his relationship with Eska)

You know, sure, he's an idiot for staying with her as long as he did. But it's not as black and white as a lot of people make it out to be?

[dailyadventureprompts]

What’s fasinating about the d&d movie is that it is all the fun of d&d removed from the rigid restraints of the the clunky game system: Thrills and laughs and hairbrained schemes minus the minutia of needless rolls or waiting for your turn in initiative to circle around. Part of this is idealization, but as someone who’s obsessed with making my favorite game system the most fun possible I can’t help but draw some comparisons.

Combat: Holga’s fight scenes were a highlight of the film for me, displaying a huge amount of kinetic creativity as she pinballed between different combatants swapping out weapons, bouncing off the surrounding terrain . This is a far, far cry from how being a fighter plays out at the table, as most martial characters are focused into doing just one type of attack as good as they can because it’s their only reliable contribution to combat. Try to model Holga’s fights in game and you’d be caught in a boring slog of dealing 1d4+STR damage to a bunch of guards whittling away at their hitpoint pools, a far cry from the lighting quick flury of smashing, bashing, and flips that make her the film’s action setpiece.  

What d&d needs is a system for combat that exists alongside the traditional damage/HP paradigm: an additional layer of complexity for martial characters that encourages tactical thinking and lets those who do their damage up close feel just as cool and as clutch as casters. My mind’s already whirling thinking up something that revolves around stuns, suckerpunches, and positioning, so expect it later this week. 

Powercreep: This might be subjective but I find it fascinating that the official stats put out for the party has them hovering around level 16, a point in character progression  a)that  most characters never get to b) by which the game’s difficulty systems have begun to break down. I suspect this was done in order to keep their on-screen abilities in line with how they are in the base rules, but I can’t help but feel like its odd for the “idedalized” dnd experiance to be playing around with toys that most groups will never get their hands on. 

In my experience d&d is on a sliding scale of stakes V Shenanigans, with the exact ballance evolving over the course of a campaign:  Your group starts out as a bunch of dumbfucks and at some point while you’re making  making absolute fools out of yourselves you become a found family just in time for the consequences of your actions to circle back around and threaten the realm. First the characters start caring about eachother, then they care about the world, then they have to save that world. Level 16 is, for me, distinctly in “save the world” territory, despite the fact that the HaT crew are clearly still figuring out who they are and what they care about.  It makes me wish D&D was more free with its shenanigan enabling magic/items/class features at lower levels to help fuel these kinds of antics.  

Attunement: Perhaps the best “ oh I’m totally going to steal this” moment came from Simon’s attempt to attune to the helm of disjunction. Turning what was otherwise a rote game mechanic into an oppertunity for character growth was genius on behalf of the writers, though one I’d only really employ with items that were as necessary for my plots as the helm was for the heist. Just like Simon’s major flaw was self doubt, I could easily see delicious storytelling potential in throwing up other emotional hurdles depending on the situation: A hero’s sword refusing to attune to the haunted survivor until they’ve come to terms with what they’ve done, an otherwise altruistic character being forced to admit their sin and self interest by an evil-aligned artifact. 

Over all, I really enjoyed the movie, though paradoxically It didn’t hook me as much because for me one of the biggest charms of fantasy is the feeling of discoverying a new world, and I’ve been living the d&d world for the past 20 years so it didn’t come of as wild and magical as it could have been, having hewn so close to established d&d material. 

[thesarcasticreader]

18+ WHO IS YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE?

I hope you will forgive me for my absence. But I got so busy with the Instagram page. But I am back. I will be posting loads of 18+ readings, I promise. And if you want to request readings for a particular topic, DM me. Do not forget to like, comment, and reblog this post. Every little interaction means a lot to me. If you are a minor, step off this reading. These are not meant for you. Enjoy a tea party. Bye now.

18+ Who Is Your Future Spouse?

Choose From Left To Right (1-3)

"Love makes the shy brave and the brave shy"

PILE 1

This is someone who has had terrible luck when it comes to love. This person has lot many good nights of sleep because of this. They fear that they will never find the one who will love them truly. This is someone who has been cheated on by friends and lovers. This person has trust issues. They will not trust you immediately. This is going to start as a long-distance relationship. You will meet this person after large intervals. They will stay well-connected to you during these gaps, but both of you will spend a lot of wishing for the other person to be by your side. You will likely be moving to this person's vicinity. The long-distance thing can go for 1-2 years. This person travels a lot because of their job, and it will be the first hurdle the two of you will face at the start of your relationship. This person is not conventional, and they may have been married before too. For a very small population, this person has kids. However, the kids appear to be younger than the age of 8. This person dreams of a happy marriage with you. They believe that with you anything is possible. This person will parade around in the littlest amount of clothes to distract you. Say, you are cooking/ or working from home. They will strut around you, touching you casually but suggestively, seducing you, biting your ear, and dropping things on the floor to give you a view of their ass until you give up and go to them. This is someone who is spiritual or religious. Faith has had a huge role to play in their life. They are very devoted to their work, and their religious or spiritual beliefs. They believe in the balance of things. This person has a thing for sneaking away in remote places and making out. They love to make out in public and leave hickeys so that when you two return from your remote spot, people will notice the hickey and know what the two of you were up to. The two of you are almost of the same height. This person may be one or two inches taller than you. This person is not going to be able to resist you. Your charm holds this person captive, and they struggle with their thoughts when you are around. This is someone passionate and fiery, but the moment you come into their line of sight, they begin to stumble. This is someone who is very cute in love. Leaves notes, bring flowers and does small things to make sure you are not inconvenienced. This person will keep the bedroom activities private. This is not the one to blab about the details of what happened. They believe that sex is sacred and hence, it should be between the lovers. They are not a prude by any means. They are just private. This is not someone who would display their affection publicly. But in the bedroom, they are wilddd! This person will want to take you on trips. They enjoy car sex and the mile-high club. This person is pretty methodical when it comes to sex. Not as in, do this, do that, an orgasm and we say goodnight. No. They map out how they are going to seduce, what's going to be their next play, as well as the aftercare part. You are going to be the one who shakes things up every now and then. This person needs some impulsiveness. They do not like to rock the boat. This person may have Libra and Capricorn placement. They want to be soft but they do not come across as soft. They are gruff but kind. This person is going to be low-key obsessed with you. Also, you are going to be very pleased if you have any specific preferences from your partner. This person will fill those shoes very well.

"I broke my rules for you"

PILE 2:

This is someone who is going to be your wish fulfilment. Be careful what you wish for. If you want a possessive partner, you are being cautioned against that. If you have romanticized the notion of possessiveness as shown in TV/ Books/Movies, lose that opinion. Possessiveness like in the movies is not a good trait to have in life. You are not going to enjoy being told what to do. You are an excellent manifestor and even if you do not realise it, you will end up manifesting this. On the other hand, your person is also a very good manifestor. This is the creator couple. You know the power couple who create good things, make investments, build a business etc? This is that pile.

This is someone who is possessive. They like to look at you while you are sleeping and they love your breasts/ chest area. This person will enjoy seeing you sleep because, to them, you look like an angel. They will also take a lot of pictures of you during that time. Another thing about this person is that they have financial insecurity. Whatever they have, it is not enough for them. They want more. Not because they are greedy. But because they are scared. They know that material things do not last and they can vanish in a blink of an eye. This person has had a tough childhood. For some of you, this person may have served in the military and may have partial deafness because of this. Your person is someone who has a lot more experience than you when it comes to sex. They have not been shy about exploring their sexuality and they will tell you everything if you ask them. They believe in 100% transparency for the peace of their partner's mind. This person has long black hair, a broody face and this person works out a lot. (For both men and women) This person will dream of infinity with you. They want to create something that will last more than one lifetime. You two will make magic together. This person is also into tantric sex. They love to give you massages. This is the person to set up candlelights in the bedroom to create a mystical ambience. And this is also the person who will help you scrape off the candle wax from the floor while making you laugh. This person is fair and just. They do not give a damn about excuses. This is someone who is very disciplined and fastidious. If they have a rule, they will follow it. This is not someone who is rebellious, rather they are malicious. They get their revenge by complying with the rules. This person will help you a lot if you are working in corporate. If you are a woman reading this, your guy is going to have a long one. It is going to wreck you but you seem to be doing okay with that. This person is going to be the more dominant one in the relationship. They have an authoritative aura to them and most of the time they will initiate the sex. This person has to be the provider. They want to make sure that the two of you are secure. This is someone who people are shit scared of. This is someone on the bigger side. Like a built muscle. Your person can also be sneaky when they want to. This will irritate you quite a bit but as your relationship progresses, this person will open up to you more and more. They will not bottle things up and pour their heart into you. It is not that they do not trust you. It is just that they don't know how to express their emotions.

"I love you from my head tomatoes"

PILE 3:

A story came through for this pile. You guys start off as friends with benefits but develop feelings for each other over time. There is a bit of angst involved when you two decide to separate yourselves. But one day, you two meet up. One thing leads to another and you two decide to start dating and make it official.

This is someone who will be friends with before you make things official. The camaraderie between the two of you will be very serene. I don't know why, but this pile remind me of Jules and Josh from Ana Huang's Twisted Hate book. The only difference is that you two don't hate each other but that banter, easy-going relationship is here. You will reap the rewards of this friendship later in your relationship.

This person is someone who is anxious. And there will be third-party interference in your relationship in the beginning phase. This relationship is meant to be. There is nothing more to say. This will take place. Maybe not in a similar fashion as I have described, but it will come to pass.

You cannot run from this person, nor they can run from you. There is a soul bond from the past life that needs to be fulfilled. I do not see if it is a soulmate, karmic or twin flame. I just know that there is a bond destined for this lifetime. Meeting this person is going to feel like finding a home. Like this is where both of you were meant to be. Like for the two other piles, a lot of info came out, but for this pile, it is simple. This is it. This is your person.

Your person is dynamic, smart and active. This is not someone who works out a lot but they like jogging very much. They may enjoy going to marathons for good causes. A lot of fire signs in their birth chart. This person's pet peeve is when people do not communicate with them. They absolutely hate it. They will want you to communicate your needs. Be it day-to-day life or sex. They do not like people who bottle things up.

There is not much 18+ data either because when you get together with this person you two will be well-acquainted with each other. Your person loves oral though. They love to give those and get those. It makes them a very happy person. They love to have sex during the night, outside. Under the light of the full moon. Whether this person is religious or no, this person has an affinity to the moon. They have a patron deity that guides them. They may not know it but they are guided.

You two are going to love the kitchen sex. While you cook, you sneak a kiss or a penetration. Depends on your mood. LMAO Your person does not care what the place is. If they want you, they want you. They will love to cuddle with you. It is healing for them. And for you as well. At that moment, you can lay your defences on the side and rest peacefully.

Your friends and family will be very happy for you. Apart from a person from this person's side, the rest will be happy for you. You two will have a small ceremony and celebrate your love with each other in a low-key destination. You are not the flashy couple. You are content with each other.

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[idiacide]

When He's Sick: TWST x Reader Headcanons

Sorry about the long gap between posting. Been very busy teaching 7 classes. I loooove sick fic tropes though so I decided to put together some headcanons for each boy

GN!Reader. TW: Sickness, emeto

Riddle Rosehearts: Riddle has a hard time accepting it when he's sick, and an even harder time accepting help. He takes pretty excellent care of himself. The side effect of being raised by two doctors is you know how to manage a cold or fever. The biggest hurdle is getting him to slow down. Unless he's at death's door he all but refuses to delegate any more work to Trey than usual. He's at least staying away from meetings and class (it would be irresponsible to let someone else get sick because of him) but you will have to pry his homework and paperwork out of his cold dead hands. Offer to at least write for him while he dictates. Its a little easier to get him to fall asleep and then take care of it while he's out.

He's very strict about you taking precautions to avoid catching whatever he has. No snuggling, and sanitize everything you touch together. However, if you want to spoil him a little, bring him some of his favorite treats. His mom always kept him on such a strict diet, never moreso than when he was sick. Having someone coo over him a little and bring him a strawberry tart or two means a lot, even if he doesn't actually feel up to eating it.

Trey Clover: Like Riddle, he's prone to wanting to take care of everything himself. It'll be hard fought to even get him to admit he's sick. He's always pretty insistent that its nothing a good cup of tea and a nap can't fix. Even when forced to slow down he always tries to put a positive spin on it. Look at you getting all worked up over nothing, honestly, that soup you brought by earlier probably cured him. He's fine-

Once cornered into it, Trey actually doesn't mind a little pampering. For as much as he insists you shouldn't go out of your way for his sake he does ENJOY the attention when he has no choice but to accept it. For the most part though, he just wants company, and someone to keep him in the loop so he doesn't stress himself sicker waiting for Ace or Riddle to burn the whole place to the ground.

Cater Diamond: Cater can be a huge baby about being sick but he actually tends to be pretty withdrawn about it. Especially around you. He looks so uncute like this, all snotty and flushed and pukey, and he doesn't want you to see him looking this nasty. Sure, its a silly thing to worry about, but he can't really help it. Honestly the best service you can provide for Cater at this time is finding ways to make him feel a little more human. Help brush his hair, scrub his face so he feels a little less icky, find some nice candles to help aerate the sick smell. It humiliates him that you had to see him in such a gross state of being, but it really means the world to him that he doesn't have to spend the next week feeling like an absolute filthbeast. He'll protest a little bit about you getting sick too, but ultimately he's too much of an extrovert to turn down company. Curled up in bed, his head on your lap as you scroll through his feed, he can't help but think maybe this isn't so bad.

Ace Trappola: Ace has a pretty hearty constitution. His first instinct when he's sick is to celebrate: finally, a reason to cut class that no one can give him any guff for. As it actually starts to set in, though, he's pretty miserable. He gets bored being around the same things every day, and he gets irritable when he feels all achey and nauseous all the time. The main service you can offer to him is your company. Bring him gossip, bring him some snacks, bring him anything to help pass the time. He overheats pretty easily so he's not going to be super down for snuggling or getting cozy. He does like being spoiled, though, and will absolutely play cute and helpless if it'll convince you to spoonfeed him or be his gofer for the the day. Ultimately he's in a rush to get this over with, but he could get used to the side perks.

Deuce Spade: Deuce gets homesick in a bad way when he's sick. His mom always did certain things to help take care of him, even taking time off when she could, and they're some of his most special memories. He always dreads having to take care of himself when he's sick because he feels her absence so strongly during that time. While obviously there's no replacing his mom, you earn points with him in a big way by making an attempt. You can't recreate her special soup but you can make sure he has something hot to eat. He'd feel awkward about you singing him a lullaby but he loves being held, having his hair petted. Deuce doesn't want you to put yourself too far out, or worse, get you sick as well. But these little gestures mean the whole world to him and help ease that loneliness.

Leona Kingscholar: Leona's in a weird place about sickness. He was never NEGLECTED growing up, he had people to take care of him and make sure he had access to the best medicine and care. But as always, he has to compare. When his brother got sick you'd think it was a national fucking incident with the way his family, their advisors, and the staff would all carry on. Its not as though no one cared at all when he was sick. Its just also hard not to notice when your every fever and chill isn't accompanied by hand wringing anxiety and being waited on hand and foot.

All this to say, by this point in his life he tends to sleep through most sicknesses (as he does with everything else he finds unpleasant). He assumes meals will be brought to him but beyond that isn't really asking for much. He plays off his surprise when you do show up, mostly just telling you your fussing is giving him a headache. He's not turning you away though. You find him in general a lot more compliant than usual, eating and drinking what he's given and submitting himself to physical affection without his usual need to dominate it. There's still complaining, of course, if there wasn't you'd assume he was on death's door. But....for as much as he won't admit it. Its nice to have someone worry. Like it matters. Like he...really, really matters.

Ruggie Bucchi: In contrast to his spoiled housewarden Ruggie never really had many people to watch out for him when he was sick. There was his grandma of course, but conditions were always such that he could never really expect a lot of one on one tlc. Best to beat it as fast as possible and get back to work before anyone can worry. He's got a list of home remedies as long as his arm and they're usually enough to get him back on his feet.

Unlike someone like Trey or Deuce, though, Ruggie isn't stupid enough to look a gift horse in the mouth. If you're offering to spoil him then who is he to turn you down. He'll happily eat up any attention he can get and get a little enjoyment out of being the one having things fetched for (rather than the fetcher). He still doesn't like being out for the count to long, it makes things prone to pile up, but for as long as it lasts he's going to enjoy it, damn it.

Ultimately the worst inconvenience of Ruggie getting sick is realizing how many well-oiled machines have come to depend on him. Savanaclaw is in shambles after just a couple of days, not to mention any side gigs he currently has going. While definitely not opposed to taking help where he can get it (as long as it doesn't impact his bottom line)....he's honestly a little flustered and embarrassed if you try to take on ALL his responsibilities. C'mon, no need to go that far...sure, he does it every day but he's USED to it, its different for you...how?....Whatever! Just leave it, alright, your presence is more than enough.

Jack Howl: As a point of pride Jack almost never gets sick. Growing up with a handful of younger siblings means your body works through the common cold like its nothing, and he takes excellent care of his body. Still, he's not untouchable, and when he gets sick its for KEEPS. We're talking barely able to stay awake for more than a couple hours, zero appetite, sneezing like a cannon.

As per usual he does his best to be strict with you. No sleeping over and you better be washing your hands regularly. When he's this zonked, though, he doesn't really have the energy to turn you away. Loath as he is to admit it it feels nice having someone fussing over him a little. Pets and soup are all a good way to help, of course. But if you really want the gold star? Help him keep on top of his schoolwork. It may not be the most romantic thing in the world but its the kind of gesture that hits really deep with him. Suffice to say that if you do get sick you will have the most overbearing nurse in the world once he's recovered.

Azul Ashengrotto: The absolute king of denial. Azul is very, very good at hiding when he's sick. I'm talking makeup to hide fever flush and tucking a cough drop under his tongue so you won't notice, its like he's a political dignitary on an election tour. The tell is always that he'll avoid the kitchens at Mostro Lounge. A plague outbreak is bad optics. Once caught in the act, as per always it turns into a negotiation. X number of bed rest hours in exchange for being allowed to go to the office every day, taking medicine in recommended doses in exchange for being allowed to attend class, so on and so forth.

If you were looking for tenderness you've come to the wrong place. Azul HATES being sick, hates any case when his stupid body threatens to interrupt business hours. Fortunately, you're not alone. With a little collusion from the twins he can be effectively held hostage in his room when he gets really bad. He'll wail and gnash his teeth, try everything in his power to get loose...and then eventually slump into acceptance just to get it over with.

Secretly some part of him does enjoy being a little doted on. But from beginning to end you're going to have a very unhappy camper who is very resistant to any attempts to coddle him. Once he's out of it, he'll make it up to you. At the end of the day, he prefers to be the one doing the spoiling.

Jade Leech: Surface sicknesses are hit or miss for mermen. Sometimes scarlet fever could sweep through the school and leave nary a dent, sometimes a common cold will have them levelled for days at a time. Regardless of which it is, Jade takes care of himself out of habit. No particular tragic backstory reason for it. He just does. While he and Floyd come from very comfortable family backgrounds their father always advised a degree of self sufficiency which Jade in particular takes to heart. He takes his medicine, sleeps, and does his best to not let his responsibilities fall by the wayside.

He's pleasantly surprised when you show up to help, if a little confused. He would never ask...and yet here you are. How curious.

Jade's not really a big cuddler at the best of times but especially not now. In general, his sensory needs are regressing. Its best to help keep his room as dark as possible, and as cold as possible. He'll sometimes accept you laying on top of him to simulate some pressure, but usually with a few blankets in between you. What he appreciates most are being brought meals, and keeping Azul (and at times, Floyd) off his back. Quietly taking the weight off his shoulders is something he appreciates more than he can express, and gives him the time he needs to recover.

Floyd Leech: "Man flu" could never dream of touching Floyd flu. Jade is very used to dealing with Floyd's moodiness and demands, and even he would describe sick Floyd as "a bit much". Being sick is his 8th circle of hell. He feels like total garbage, he can't leave his room to do any of the things he enjoys, and most people avoid him just to avoid catching it. Its the wooorst and not even having a free pass from work can improve it.

All this to say, he is going to be in your dms the second Azul orders him to stay home, practically begging you to at least get on the phone with him for a bit. God help you if you decide to show up, you're never getting out of his room. The second you're in arm's reach he has you on the bed, winding his whole body around yours and whining incoherently about how awful everything is and how you need to be nice to him.

Not to say there are no perks. For as whiny as he's being there's something oddly adorable about how needy he is. He wants you in his arms as much as possible, insisting that the pressure and the warmth helps. He'll pour on the praise for any food you make him (even when you both know he could do better with his eyes closed) sheerly for the novelty of having you feed him. Most of all, though, he's putting in a concerted effort to be sweet and behave. You're not his brother, he knows you can leave if you get fed up with him so he's doing everything in his power to make you want to stay.

All this to say, at a certain point you just have to accept that you're going to get sick too. Don't worry to much about it, though. Once he's all better he promises to take just as good care of you as you did of him~

Kalim Al-Asim: Like Leona, Kalim grew up with access to the best and most devoted healthcare money could buy. Despite that, Kalim is actually really really bad at letting himself be sick, especially if its anything that could take more than a couple days of recovery. He just hates to make anyone worry! His younger siblings especially get so upset if their big brother can't play for a week, really its easier for everyone if he bounces back quickly even if it means he's not QUITE better yet.

This puts him in a rough spot at NRC. He's so used to being looked after that he has no idea how to take care of himself, but he's also really reluctant to stay down for more than a few days. Keeping him confined and resting is an ordeal, one Jamil is more than happy to hand over to you once you get wind of why your boyfriend hasn't been showing up for class.

Kalim feels bad that he made you worry. However, BECAUSE it is you you'll find its pretty easy to get him to comply, at least moment to moment. He'll still try to insist he's all better every morning, but he'll also let you feed him and take his medicine when you ask. Its a weird mix, but it also wouldn't be Kalim if he didn't at least try to make it fun for both of you. Its too bad you're both stuck here, but hey, perfect time to catch up on that show you've been wanting to watch with him! As long as you take some precautions he's pretty content to treat it like a sleepover, and with some cajoling he can be convinced to at least hold out until he actually is feeling better.

Jamil Viper: Is it really any surprise that this is yet another area where Jamil's experience is polar opposite to his housewarden's. His parents were never cruel, of course, they'd never force him out to work while he was honestly ill. But even at a young age he was very quick to catch the little passive aggressive remarks, the prodding comments asking if he was SURE he was still unwell. The young master was asking about him after all....maybe a cup of tea and you'll be fine to go play with him? It wouldn't do to let him get too lonely...

His default mode is still to evade and ignore it. As long as he can still keep himself upright he'll act like everything's fine. It really only takes some gentle prodding from you, though, to make him realize....right. He doesn't have to do that anymore. Letting himself be free of his parents wishes can mean this too. You find him surprisingly quick to acquiesce when you offer to take care of him, as long as you can promise the dorm won't collapse around his ears.

Despite his intentions, Jamil still doesn't really know how to let himself be taken care of. If he wants something he's very instinctively going to do it himself. Still...he finds he enjoys it. Being brought food. Having time to sleep even in the middle of the day. Even a little of the babying, mortifyingly enough. You'll know you've really succeeded when he asks you to read to him. It helps him unwind, and lets him enjoy your company without having to expend the energy to talk.

Vil Schoenheit: For as much of a workaholic as he is, Vil is actually quite strict about taking time off when he's unwell. It helps that it doesn't happen often. He's fit as a fiddle, keeps regular eating and sleeping hours, and is quick to avoid anything seasonal that might be making the rounds. The second he realizes he's not well enough to present himself at his best, though, is the second he's whipping his phone out and making calls. He won't let himself be seen at anything less than his usual perfection, much less risk permanent damage to his throat or lungs by pushing himself past his limits. His father took a lot of pains to instill in him that events come and go, but your body is an instrument you'll have your whole life.

Vil doesn't really need, or want, a nursemaid at this juncture. You'd be competing with Rook for the job anyways, and that's a zero sum game. What he does need, though...is someone who makes it clear its ok for him to be human. For as good as he is about taking care of himself, FORGIVING himself for it is harder. Vil's got a pretty thick skin, but the idea of letting people down (whether that's his fans or his classmates) is a hard pill for him to swallow. Yes, it's important, but it doesn't change the disappointment people would feel having a meet and greet cancelled, or the damage it may do to his brand by last minute cancelling an interview. Don't baby him, but...keep rebutting his negative internal monologue. Even if he rolls his eyes...he does appreciate it. Because he knows you mean it.

As with Cater, helping him look a little less like a snot monster is greatly appreciated. He can comb his own hair and wash his own face, of course. But...well, after all, this is one of those things having a partner is supposed to make more fun. You see a different side of Vil when you're helping him apply a face mask after watching him puke his guts out. It may not be a very cheerful side, but its a very tender one, and it gives you something brand new to appreciate about your ever flawless boyfriend.

Rook Hunt: Though he may not look it Rook catches things pretty easily. A side effect of spending most of your nights perched in a tree or tucked in some underbrush. His immune system's pretty efficient, and he tends to process things quite quickly. Still, once spotted sniffling into a hanky or hiding away to cough you are on him like a woodtick. He submits to it in pretty good humor, even teasing you about his inability to elude your sharp-eyed gaze. Who's really the hunter here, mm?

Though he does enjoy being on the receiving end of your undivided attention, Rook's surprisingly hard to keep still. He gets too restless, eager to slip off and pursue more of his beautiful things. I'd advise getting Vil on your side here. Passion or no, a direct order from his housewarden is something Rook won't violate. He makes up for it tenfold by singing your praises the whole time you're caring for him. You think he starts composing a poem in honor of your thermometer wielding ways at a certain point. He's back on his feet quickly. But rest assured, he'll find some way to demonstrate his appreciation more materially.

Epel Felmier: The thing about a farm is there really isn't such a thing as sick days. You could be coughing up blood; the apples still need brought in, or they'll start to rot and the crop'll go to waste. Epel's used to muscling through most common sicknesses, takes a fair amount of pride in it even. He also HATES being babied. It makes him feel fragile and stupid and useless.

All this to say it actually takes him a while to admit he's sick to you. No chance of going to class, his eagle eyed housewarden confined him to bedrest the second he caught him looking a little too pale. But it takes longer for him to stop acting like he isn't just really busy over text. He doesn't want you to feel like you have to come over and make a whole production of it.

Despite his reluctance to let you know about it and his resistance to anything that resembles mothering, Epel actually finds he's relieved to see you. Sappy or not, he misses you a lot when he can't see you. He puts up a show of being stubborn, but really he hates seeing you worried and will fold like paper at any kind of insistence.

Alright, maybe its not SO bad...but only for a little longer!

Idia Shroud: Shockingly enough I don't think Idia actually gets properly sick often. He takes awful care of himself, eating rarely and sleeping even less, so he usually FEELS like dogshit. But actual escalation into meaningful symptoms, a fever or a cold or a stomach bug, is surprisingly rare. Something to do with not leaving his room to catch anything.

When it does happen he tries to milk the shit out of it, taking it as a free excuse to hole up in his room for a few days and do nothing but game. It quickly backfires, though, when Ortho makes him lie down or take medicine (usually resulting in a very miraculous "recovery" if he's at anything less than death's door).

Its VERY different with an s/o. At first he's mostly just mortified you're going to see him in this state. He's gross enough in his default state, if you see him like this you're gonna run away for sure! Once reasonably assured that you're not going to kick him to the curb over some puke, though, he discovers two things. One: its really, REALLY nice to have an attractive person baby you when you're sick. Two: technically Ortho can't kick him off his games if he just has you working through the notifications. Hope you're ready to take over his gacha management. He drafts up a booklet for you to fill out it would be actually aggravating if he weren't giving you the biggest heart eyes over it.

Mostly he's an easier patient for you than he is for his brother, though when he digs in his heels it can take ages to talk him into anything else. God help you if he's sick in the midst of a project because you are going to have to drag him back to bed kicking and screaming. Ultimately, though, he really just wants to be petted on a little.

Malleus Draconia: Fae health is robust as a general rule which is why Malleus getting the sniffles is enough to send Diasomnia into Defcon 3. Had Lilia not thought to invite you over you think it's possible you might have lost contact with him for a month.

Mostly, being sick isn't a very big deal for Malleus. He takes his medicine, he sleeps, and its done with. He's finding a very fresh novelty in having you around, though. He doesn't want you to trouble yourself too much over him. His constitution is impressive. But he does appreciate the opportunity for some one on one time, and will even put up with a little pampering if you really want to.

If you want to earn his eternal gratitude, keep his attendants soothed and off his back. As much as he might love them its the surest thing to put him out of temper.

Lilia Vanrouge: You're fairly certain Lilia only gets sick when he wants to be sick. Maybe its that with centuries of perfecting his healing magics you know a bacterial invasion is no problem to clear up. Maybe its just that he only ever seems to catch something when he has an assignment he doesn't feel like doing coming up. Who can say really.

As with Malleus how much nurturing you really want to do for Lilia is up to you. He's more than capable of taking care of himself. Unlike Malleus though Lilia relishes letting you play nursemaid and will absolutely play up being a little pathetic and needy for the attention. Its such a silly and childish thing to do, and that's why he does it. Its practically a dare as his eyes flutter pathetically while you take his temperature, or in the moony-eyed look he gives you as you spoon soup into his mouth. You may have to cut him off at some point, he's having entirely too much fun. Rest assured, you will be swiftly repaid.

Sebek Zigvolt: Leans the hell into "the fae are too strong for your puny human diseases!!" but he's really bad at hiding when he's sick. His sneezes and coughs seem to echo through the whole building.

Sebek is an absolute wreck when he's sick, practically begging to be allowed out to resume his duties. Half the reason Lilia asked you to watch out for him is it was the only way to really pacify him. He'll be a total pest the whole time, badgering you to check his temperature every hour or so because he's CERTAIN he's all better now. You're half convinced he's about to ask you to tail Malleus on his behalf and bring him back detailed reports.

Its largely ridiculous, but its also a deeply vulnerable position for him. Sebek never wants to appear weak, especially not in front of you. He's embarrassed that you feel like you need to look out for him. At the same time, though...he's touched that you care to. That you can see him in this state and not think less of him, can in fact even be more affectionate and sweet than usual. It doesn't make him more patient, but it does mean he files it away as yet another thing to admire about you.

Silver: Sick constantly. Turns out there's side effects to dozing off out in the open all the time. He does his best to walk it off but is easily brought in line by you and Lilia. Silver's mostly an easy patient. Sleeping is easy for him, and he submits to medicine and any other care needs with no complaint. The struggle is not to let him turn the tables and try to nurse you. He'll insist its no issue at all, he doesn't mind letting you get off your feet, while casually attempting to take over all the meal prep and the cleanup after to boot.

Silver is quick to express his gratitude, and he does enjoy the opportunity for privacy. While not very prone to PDA he finds he enjoys the reassurance of physical touch, especially yours, when he's really feeling low. In the end, though, he can't wait for this to be over

[menofsweaters]

okay so

y'all seemed unusually chill about my last Endeavor rant, and that has lulled me into a false sense of security. General disclaimer that everyone is allowed to engage with media however they want and no one is ever obligated to like/appreciate/forgive/whatever any character and this is all fictional barbie doll playtime so who cares -

BUT

Whenever I see a lot of anti-Endeavor rants, it just screams to me that the person posting has maybe not fully internalized the idea that parents (and adult figureheads in general) are human beings who are quite fallible and capable of making terrible mistakes just like everyone else.

Most people who abuse and neglect children do not realize that they're abusing and neglecting them. I know this is a tough pill to swallow.

Heck, most people who abuse other people in general do not realize they're causing harm. We as human beings generally like to see ourselves as the main character - as a person who's making the correct choices, who knows best, who's out for the greater good.

When parents and guardians abuse and neglect their children, they're generally not thinking "I want to hurt a child," they're thinking that they need to teach the child discipline, or that the child is ungrateful, or that they're somehow doing what's right for the child and the family even if it's hurtful at the time. Or, perhaps at the same time, they're not examining their actions at all, due to lack of understanding, mental health issues, addiction, etc. Makes me think of that post that circulated about how "child abuse is inherently irrational" because YEAH. IT IS IRRATIONAL.

This all very much tracks for Endeavor, who married Rei and started having children when he was quite young, and by all accounts did not have anyone in his life to offer a good example of what a healthy, loving family looks like. We also see his descent into emotional disturbance pretty starkly when you look at the memories of Touya and Fuyumi when they're very young versus the at height of his abuse. We also don't see any other heroes of Endeavor's age who are parents in canon.

Endeavor's thoughts were always "I need to protect Touya from hurting himself, and the best way to do that is by distancing myself so he stops wanting to be a hero" and "I need to train Shouto to be as strong as possible so that he can surpass both me and All Might and become a great hero." Both of these are selfish and short-sighted to some extent, but they're not sociopathic.

He was never thinking, "I want to hurt my children and my wife." No one thinks that way. That's some family annihilator thinking, and there's no indication that Endeavor thinks this way. Very, very few people are that cartoonishly villainous in real life, and Horikoshi has made a point of showing that Endeavor is multifaceted. He only recognized his own shortcomings with his family when he was older and saw the consequences. Would it have been better if he realized these things earlier (and maybe got some damn therapy)? Yeah, of course! That would have been way better!!

Anyway, I think the point that I'm trying to make is that people seem to have this assumption that Endeavor KNEW what he was doing was wrong and did it anyway, when that's simply not what's shown in the canon and also is not realistic in terms of actual bad parenting.

Not to get too deep on main or whatever, but as a survivor (ugh) of childhood abuse, and someone who's dealt with abusive partners as an adult, letting go of the idea that abusers are fully aware of what they're doing and are purposeful with the harm that they do was a HUGE hurdle for me to overcome, but it made my life way better to accept that people are just selfish idiots who have no idea what they're doing in most cases. This doesn't mean that abusers are innocent in any way, or that they can't be held accountable for their actions, or that you have to forgive blah blah blah, but I really genuinely encourage people to reexamine the idea that abuse is always purposeful because it very much is not.

Thanks for coming to my rant, no tags because I don't want to get harassed by teenagers. This is just me spitting out my internal thoughts on the internet and I have no desire to engage in arguments about it.

[cherrysoojins]

८ bewitched , ateez laufey songs .

✉️. three of eight, kim hongjoong. falling behind.

romance was a huge aspect of life that you felt as though you were missing out on. but after meeting kim hongjoong, you felt like you were no long falling behind on it.

&ㅤㅤ 📦 ♡ warnings. sfw, fluff, small mention of jongho if you read his story you will understand, suited for all ages, not proofread ( might have spelling errors ), let me know if any other warnings that should be added ! 1263 wc.

reblogs appreciated because im shadow banned 😭

taglist. @luvvvlyjoong , @cherrystar1117

you haven’t experienced love yet.

you don’t think you’ve even experienced liking someone properly and working to establish a relationship with them.

in reality, you started to think you’re not cut out for relationships. more so, that you just weren’t destined for a relationship, to experience love. and at some point, you were okay with that. being more focused on yourself proved to get you far, graduated high school as the top student and you’re now about to graduate from college and open your own business. a small little clothing line and thrift store, it was accomplished with ease because you didn’t let complicated things get in your way. (like relationships)

but it’s not like you closed yourself off to people, no. you had a lot of friends. you only closed yourself off from relationships to once again, focus on yourself.

but now that you’re graduating and life is continuing to move forward, you realize as you walk around campus, go grocery shopping, sit at a cafe, or even take a walk down the busy streets of seoul, couples were everywhere.

and then you look to your empty side where nobody has the liberty to walk next to you, the loneliness of your hand not wrapped around someone else's… it sort of felt like you were missing out on an important life experience.

it made you feel like even though you were miles ahead of everyone, this one hurdle was making you fall behind.

you can hardly see your friends anymore because they’re all in happy and healthy relationships, too busy with work and their significant others, and you don’t blame them, but they used to be the only way you could fend off this lonely feeling. even your best friend choi jongho, who was once like you and was closed off to relationships, got into one recently. you and him used to bond over the fact you were single and felt like relationships were a waste of time, but now…

you don’t even blame him, the guy needed a girlfriend.

but man, you really feel like everyone is moving forward and you're stuck in the same spot, with the same mindset that was threatening to shatter, which held you back from moving forward even more because you feared what lied in the unknown, you were scared of what love meant.

yet, you think you might be figuring it out. what love means.

“i really think you should distress the sleeves,” hongjoong said from behind you, his chin resting on your shoulder as he reached his other hand to point at the black denim jacket you were working on for your little thrift store brand.

“but i distressed the bottom hem of it already, would it look weird?” you asked him, trying to calm your beating heart down from the close proximity between you two, his chest pressing against your back and his head so close to yours, you could smell the sweetness of the blue raspberry lollipop that matched the color of his hair that you gave him earlier.

hongjoong shook his head on your shoulder and moved back to pull his phone out, muttering a small “hold on” as he unlocked the device.

you turned back to look at him before looking back forward, grabbing onto the edge on the table in a strong grip. you mentally took deep breaths in and out.

these emotions… they were overflowing. you’ve never felt this way before about anyone. this feeling of your heart banging against your chest, the fluttery feeling in your stomach and the red hot feeling rushing to your cheeks whenever hongjoong talks to you… you couldn’t describe this feeling, but you like it.

hell, you enjoy it more than you probably should.

you did feel like you were falling behind in the relationship aspect of life, but you had no thoughts to actually pursue the idea, choosing to just go with the flow of how things have always been.

but kim hongjoong came in like a storm, truly. it was merely an accident how you two met. you’ve been in the same fashion design class for awhile now, and also had the same business classes together, but never interacted.

but one night when your thoughts about relationships and everything got too far into your head, you found yourself stumbling into the 24 hour studio open to your fashion class to continue working on your final assessment project, to which kim hongjoong was there.

first it was simply helping each other out, then it was talking about each others dreams and future aspirations, then it came to always sitting together at class, going to lunches together, painting the walls of your apartment together, to asking him to help you with your thrift shop and clothing line, it was supposed to be just business and a new friendship at first… now, it’s gotten to the point of no return. for you, at least.

now it was doing all those things with the addition of butterflies in your stomach and constant bathroom breaks to calm the red flush on your cheeks whenever he says something that is a compliment towards you or just sounds any sort of sweet.

“see, it wouldn’t look bad if we did it this way.” hongjoong cut you off from your thoughts, putting his phone in your face to make you look at a reference photo he pulled up from pinterest.

you grabbed the phone from his hands, the sparks that you felt when your fingers lightly brushed his was enough to sprinkle pink along your cheeks and a giddy feeling to flow through your stomach.

“oh, you’re right.” you said, immediately going back to your professional act and putting the phone down on the table to look at it as you grabbed the sleeves of the denim jacket. “if we do it on the wrists, it’ll look fine.”

“right?” hongjoong said, coming up to your side and using a finger to pull his lockscreen down on his phone to check the time quickly. you two have been working on clothes since 12pm, and it was now bordering 8 at night. you acknowledged the time and the fact his wallpaper was a picture of you sleeping comfortably in your bed holding the stuffed animal he gifted you.

you felt like throwing up from all the emotions running through you, they all were so overbearing and intense, but they felt so good.

“it’s getting late.” you noted.

“sure is. wanna go on a date for dinner?”

“yeah–” you paused, slowly turning your head towards him with a squinted stare. “date?”

hongjoong laughed to himself, his eyes still on his phone as his bubblegum blue hair covered his eyes.

“a date, yeah.” he told you, turning his head to look at you sincerely.

the idea of love was originally something that was an obstacle in your mind, something that would prevent you from getting far in life because it was a distraction. you simply felt like you were solely cut out for being by yourself, focusing on yourself.

then love became something you were secretly envious of deep down. when everyone around you started to experience it, you felt like suddenly you didn’t have everything figured out in life, like you were missing something, that you were falling behind.

but kim hongjoong changed that. suddenly you were moving again, jumping the obstacle you so desperately wanted to avoid, to walk around. you were no longer feeling left behind, now you felt like you were complete.

“yeah.” you replied. “let’s do that.”

full bewitched series masterlist !

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[gachawolfiebloom]

Your Pursuit of Perfection

Story and Artwork By: @GachaWolfieBloom

Chapter 7: You Can't Escape Your Fears

Summary: A few months after the events of WOTFI 2023, SMG4 starts having really bad dreams about the "Its gotta be perfect" incident. One night however, his fear allows the nightmares to break through and he gets taken to a horrific dimension. He finally meets the tv adware, who manipulates him into returning to his insane ways, intent on claiming much more than the perfect video. Now it's up to his friends to stop this madness and save SMG4. Can they do it in time or will they lose SMG4 forever? (In case you are unaware this is a sequel to the its gotta be perfect movie)

Tags: angst, its gotta be perfect, love confession, luigi, mario, meggy, melony, nightmares, scary, smg3, smg4, smg34, smg3 x smg4, tari, tv adware

Saiko was putting on a rock concert for all the citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom. She thought she was doing well until the crowd started to turn on her. A chanting of booing came from the crowd and they all shouted mean insults.

"You suck!"

"I wasted my time on this!?"

"You'll never become a rockstar!"

Saiko could feel her fear overcome her until someone jumped onto the stage. "Saiko! It's not real!" Three had come to save her along with One and Two. "No! Look at this! I'll never achieve my dream of being a famous rockstar!" One tried to persuade her that this was all fake. "This is all just a nightmare. See?" Saiko turned to see how the crowd had a shadowy look to it. Of course! The mist of nightmares. "My fear is what's causing this?" Gaining back her confidence, Saiko picked up her guitar and shouted "I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOU MONSTERS!!!" She had escaped the smoke and was back with the other three.

Mario was despairing as the world had run out of spaghetti. Three came crashing through the door and yelled "Mario snap out of it! It's just a nightmare!" He was still shaking as he said through his tears "But...Mario will never be with his true love again..." Saiko used her hammer to slam through. "Wake up Mario! We need your help!" He remembered how much he loved his friends and how he really wanted to save Smg4. He stood up and screamed "You think you can scare Mario with your dumb tricks. Well guess what? Mario is strong and he will not let you control him!" The scene faded away as he hugged his friends and thanked them for saving him.

Tari was surrounded by hundreds of angry ducks. "I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you all. I just love you so much." The ducks didn't listen as they inched closer. Mario hurdled into the room with a gun and said "Freeze!" Three came up behind him with Saiko and said "Tari those ducks are stupid fakers!" Mario grabbed one and shook it with all his might. "FAKER!" Tari was still panicked induced as she still defended her "little friends." "No. They are just scared. I should have treated them better." Saiko pulled out her hammer as the ducks attacked her. "Look around Tari! This is just the work of the nightmare mist!" Tari gasped as she said "How could they?"

Bob was trying to be a successful rapper, but nobody supported him. All the friends that he had made over the years went back to their old ways of rejecting him and pushing him aside. Even Birdo didn't think he was cool anymore. He was about to give up when he heard clapping in the distance. Mario was supporting Bob and the others had came to get him. "This is just a nightmare Bob!" Saiko questionably said "Your worst fear is being rejected from rapping?" Bob tried to deny it. "NO." Saiko then knew what to do to snap him out of his nightmares. "Then prove it." Bob took his microphone and smashed it on the ground. "SHUT UP! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK!"

Melony's nightmare was taking a huge hit on her. She had failed to rescue Axol and now she was all alone. Zer0 had won and killed all of her friends. Just then a huge team of heroes stepped in to fight the eldritch monster. "Melony help us!" Tari called out as she looked up from her tears. "B-b-but Axol i-i-is..." Saiko sighed and said "I know. But we defeated Zer0 and we can defeat this nightmare as well." Melony rubbed her tears and inquired "This is a nightmare?" She turned to the huge creature and remembered how she saved all her friends in 2021 and 2022. That filled her with determination, as she pulled out her sword and ended the life of this bad dream.

Luigi was running his successful flower shop until he got terrible news that it was being shut down forever. He curled up into a ball on the ground and started crying. "Luigi!" He looked up to see who that familiar voice belonged to. "Wake up!" shouted Mario as he kept slapping his brother on the face. "What about my flower shop?" Tari stood in a confident pose and told him "Remember when Meggy coached us. Don't let her or your friends down. I faced my fears and so can you!" Luigi remembered Meggy's final assignment as a flashback of her giving him a thumbs up was playing and Boopkins was dressed in her beanie and headphones. He got up with a determined face and yelled "You're just a stupid nightmare! You don't scare me!"

Boopkins was crying while holding a picture of him and JubJub. Bob burst in and said "LET'S GO BOOPKINS!" He turned and said "I failed on protecting my brother. I'll never see him again." Bob rolled his eyes and said "BEING SAD ISN'T AN EXCUSE! GET A MOVE ON!" Boopkins wiped tears from his eyes. "THIS IS A NIGHTMARE!" Boopkins looked around and realized that it was. JubJub was back home and safe. Boopkins threw his arms in the air and yelled "I am not afraid!" Bob watched and then turned to the camera. "DANG BOB. YOU'RE A NATURAL."

There was only one person left...

Meggy had lost the big game of splatfest. The crowd was yelling in disbelief and Desti looked at her. "You promised to win splatfest for me." One Shot Wren shook his head and said "I expected better things from you kid." She held her head in her hands and whispered "I tried. I really did try." Her friends came running into the stadium. "Meggy snap out of it! It's only your fear!" Three tried to call out to her, but the opposing team started shooting them with their splatshots. While they all tried to avoid it, Three said to them "You distract them while I try to save Meggy." Bob immediately pulled out his grenade launcher and says "NOW YOU'LL SEE HOW A TRUE ATHLETE DOES IT!" Three slipped through the crowd up to Meggy, but the nightmare versions of Desti and Wren stopped him.

They tried to punch and kick him, so he thew them off the ledge. "Get out of here you stupid nightmare creatures." He ran up to her and tried to snap her out of it. "Meggy let's go now!" Her eyes were still full of tears as she whimpered "I lost. I'm a failure. I deserve this..." Three stopped in his tracks when he heard what Meggy said. "Believe me, I know how that feels." Three mumbled as Meggy looked up. "All those times I was lost in thought, it was about Four. My worst fear is that I failed to protect him and he died because of me." Meggy didn't move an inch.

"I just don't want to lose him...or you." He looks towards the ground, but then feels a warm embrace. Meggy hugs him and says "Thank you Three. I don't want to lose you either." He smiles and puts his arms around her as well. After a few seconds he pushes Meggy away from him and reverts back to his tsundere behavior. "Okay that's enough. Give me some space squid." She giggles and looks down to see that the rest of her friends are in trouble. She grabs her splatshot and fires at all the inklings. Once she defeats them, the scene melts away and they all find themselves back in the Nightmare realm.

They weren't alone as the icky creatures were surrounding them. "Ooooo very scary goop." Mario said, wriggling his fingers. They then see a man with a tv head come out of the shadows. "But some of you still are." He said as he directed his attention to Three. "Isn't that right Smg3?" He backed up, but didn't let his guard down. "I won't believe your dirty lies." The smile on the screen did not fade away. It actually got a bit wider. "But there is something you fear. If you surrender, I might be willing to spare your little friends."

An uneasy expression went across his face as the TV Adware continued. "After all they have done for you, this is how you repay them? Taking Smg4 away from them?" Darkness crept closer as Three yelled out in a state of defeat "No! They did nothing wrong! I'm the one who deserves this! I will-" He was about to make a deal with the Adware till Meggy stopped him. "NO! Smg3, you're our friend and you aren't going anywhere. Nobody blames you for what happened."

He stops in shock. "I'm your friend?" They all nodded. "Of course! Mario loves you!" Tari took a gentle approach. "And we know we can trust you." The TV Adware backed up and said in a slick voice "Well I see you have some real friends. Those who would do anything for you."

"This is your last chance. Before they see what you let happen." The others were confused, but Three knew what he meant. "You wouldn't dare..." Only Meggy, Mario, and Three saw their corrupted friend from the inside. Everyone else had taken on the goop outside.

The Adware chuckled and said "Well it seems we are not able to make an...arrangement. Don't worry though. I came prepared. I will get the kingdom I so desperately deserve."

A pink light started to shine through as a figure came up behind him. The creature had pink cracks on his face, his clothes were dirty, and his eyes looked desperately strained. When he was seen clearly in the light, everyone gasped in shock as they all said the same thing. "SMG4!?"

"Now you will all be destroyed and the Mushroom Kingdom will be defenseless! Meet my new friend...NIGHTMARE FOUR!!!"

Your friend is mine now...

Chapter 8: Are You Ready For The Next Show

[ecargmura]

Senpai Is An Otokonoko Episode 5 Review - Love Depends On Size

Oh boy, this was a rather emotional episode. It mainly focuses on Saki and Ryuji as the latter asks a very important question to the former: Is she truly in love with Makoto? Having a deeper insight to Saki as a character and seeing her deal with her inner emotions is really helping her become a more layered person.

Alright, here’s the main question: Is Saki in love with Makoto? I think yes, but her idea of love is very convoluted. Her idea of love is the size. Like how she asked Ryuji about main difference between a dolphin and whale being the size, she equates love to size. She sees love as something that’s the size of a whale. In the past, she tried to like everything and everyone, but it makes her come off as superficial to her friends from middle school. She’s also trying to fill a void that her absent father left in her heart. She also saw how sad her grandmother was when she lost her grandfather. Because of these three things, her idea of love became skewed to the point of becoming an obsession. She’s in love, but it’s more of the idea of being in love rather than genuinely being in love. If she was genuinely in love, she wouldn’t say things like giving up on Makoto if Ryuji were to go out with him given how much of a fighter she is. If she’s really that willing to back down, then her love wasn’t strong to begin with or just a fickle one. Man, I wish I could’ve caught that sooner. The reason why she liked Makoto is because she knew he was different from other girls even when she didn’t know he wasn’t a girl at first. Because he was so different, she sort of projected her idea of love onto him, hoping that the person she sees in a different light would come to love her like she does to him. I’m interested to see how this is going to play out now that she declared that she’s going to give up on Makoto.

Unlike Saki, Ryuji’s love for Makoto is honest and straightforward, but there are still a lot of hurdles within himself. While Ryuji is finally be able to admit his feelings for his best friend honestly, he’s still hesitant on saying anything. However, I do like that both Ryuji and Saki are supportive of each other since the day they met. It was cute how he got a bit embarrassed when Makoto asked if he had someone he liked. It’s going to take a while for Ryuji to confess; heck, it might not even happen…

Despite the nice moment Makoto had with Saki during Episode 3, his feelings for Saki remain platonic. Instead, he’s in that misunderstanding part where he assumes Saki and Ryuji are in love with each other. Oh gosh, the misunderstanding…I consider that trope a huge bane in a story. I just hope it’s not written in a way that Makoto keeps believing Saki’s in love with Ryuji and holds back, He does seem a bit conscious of her these days, so maybe his love will change into romantic? I don’t know… Also, I do like that more people around Makoto are starting to have faces. It symbolizes Makoto’s horizons widening and that people are more accepting of him now.

Anyways, I do wonder where things are going to go from here because that was a rather bittersweet ending. I just hope that everyone can be happy and that all their issues will be resolved cleverly. I heard that next week’s episode will be delayed due to the Olympics. How am I going to wait an entire week?

[vintagesuga]

Surprise Shawty - K.Taehyun

Genre: fluff

Pairings: Kang Taehyun x Gn!reader

Warnings: none

a/n: Happiest of birthdays to pookie. Just a little something cute for his bday. I'm not entirely happy with the ending, but 🤷🏻‍♀️. Also, not proofread!!

“Happy birthday!” Your cheery voice immediately greets Taehyun. Although he would rather have you here in person, a call would have to do.

“Thank you, honey.” Even though he heard your voice yesterday, Taehyun couldn't help but smile so brightly.

Phone calls. That’s become a staple these past few months, and regularly scheduled facetimes. With you being in the States and Taehyun being in Korea, the time zones were the biggest hurdle. It was currently 5:26 pm. on February 4th in Seattle, but for Taehyun, it was 10:26 am. on the 5th. It took some time to process the difference, but honestly, he'd consider himself an expert by now.

“How are your studies going?” Taehyun shifted in his seat, finding the best spot to hunker down. He was in a meeting room, using it for privacy while you two talked.

“There all right. I finished that paper I was talking about yesterday.” He heard shuffling on your end. No doubt you are getting comfy in bed. “But that's boring. What do you have planned for today?”

“Dance practice, and I think the guys wanted to take me out for dinner.” His eyes scanned over the barren room, a frown forming on his face. “I wanted to spend the day with you, though.”

“I really did try Tae,” you were quiet for a moment, “all the earliest flights were filled.”

“I know. I’m not upset, we can just do something when you visit.” The two of you continued to talk for a while longer. Just mindless conversation about anything and everything.

“I’ll let you get to sleep, hon. It’s getting late over there.” Taehyun spoke softly. You’d been quiet for a while, so he thought you might have already fallen asleep. He heard you hum before saying goodbye. Taehyun sighed. The long distance was really beginning to upset him. He couldn’t complain, though. You were only going to be gone for another 3 months.

For the past 9 months you had been living in Seattle, Washington, your course offered you a chance to study abroad for a year. Taehyun had been the one to convince you to go, saying how it was a great opportunity for you. Now he was feeling a bit lonely, though. You had never spent more than a few months apart.

Taehyun walked back to the practice room, and his mood only slightly improved. Talking with you always had that effect on him, lifting his sour moods with ease. He took up his previous spot, catching up with the others quickly. Joking and playing around like usual, Taehyun let himself be distracted. His mind focuses on the dance patterns rather than the hole in his chest.

Suddenly, the whole practice room was plunged into darkness. Soobin is the culprit standing by the light switch with a huge grin on his face. Yeonjun and Kai started the tone deaf symphony, Beomgyu grabbing hold of Taehyun’s shoulders. The room was filled with a poorly orchestrated happy birthday song, one of the staff members carrying the cake in. He smiled, letting everyone crowd around him. Once they finished, he closed his eyes, blowing out the candles. When he opened them, they had yet to turn back on the lights, Beomgyu had moved from behind Taehyun to behind the staff member. He was shaking the poor soul by the shoulders while everyone stood around them. Kai was trying his best not to burst out laughing.

Finally, someone had turned the lights on, the room flooded by the bright fluorescent lights. Taehyun squinted a bit before turning to thank everyone. The boys all had similar looks on their faces, all of them grinning widely at Tae. He thought nothing of it until he turned to take the cake. He paused. Then, the most blinding, humongous smile broke out on his face.

“Suprise!” You said through a laugh. Yeonjun quickly took the cake out of your hands only seconds before you were crushed between Taehyun’s arms.

“You made it!” Taehyun’s words were muffled as he spoke into your neck. “But I thought you couldn’t catch a flight?”

“We bought their ticket a while back.” Beomgyu spoke up from somewhere behind you. A shit eating grin on his face. Kai had finally dissolved into nothing but incoherent noises on the floor, clutching his sides.

“You're welcome, by the way!” Yeonjun piped up from next to you both. A huge smile plastered onto his face as well. They all were just as happy to see you as Taehyun, but of course, his hugs came first.

Soobin had his priorities figured out as he munched on the cake. Sitting criss-crossed as he watched the cute reunion. Practice was soon forgotten as all six of you started chatting and catching up. Taehyun’s hand practically fused to your own, not letting you travel too far away from him. He couldn’t be happier. He had missed you, seeing you through a screen just not cutting it anymore.

He settled you into his lap as you continued your discussion with Beomgyu. His arms wrapped around your middle as he laid his chin on your shoulder. When Beomgyu shifted his attention to Soobin, Taehyun took his chance, placing a tender kiss on your cheek. “Thank you.”

“It’s them you should be thanking. Yeonjun bought my ticket, Kai made sure I got here safely. Beomgyu paid for my hotel room, not wanting to ruin the surprise by letting me stay at my place. Soobin is the one who got you the next two days off.” You turned your head in Taehyun’s direction.

“Why can't you stay at your place?” He chuckled an amused smile forming on his face.

“Dude I don't know. He gave me this big speech that, honestly, I wasn't listening to.” You laughed, leaning back into Taehyun's chest.

This was the best birthday present he could have ever asked for.

©️vintagesuga Do not repost.

[whovianshifts]

first shifting attempt !

(well, since my year long break)

as some of you may know, i really love reya singh's reprogramming the mind program. so, lets begin a few days before the attempt:

i identified that, whilst i believed in shifting, one of my beliefs was that shifting was difficult and that it was complicated. so i worked with that. and after trying to reset my views, i still didnt shift.

anti-climactic huh?

it's not that i didnt shift, actually. i had felt so much anticipation leading up to that day that i felt so anxious and drained that i just couldnt bring myself to. so the next day, before bed, i decided to *actually* shift.

at that point, whether my reprogramming worked or not wasnt my concern (which i suppose means that it did work, because i've stopped caring so much about the specifics of shifting). however, that night, i realised that, whilst ive become less obsessed, i couldnt let that make my shifting attempts half-arsed and lazy.

so, going back to the basics, i used a classic method: the julia method (i used the alinur one on spotify).

before you continue reading, i just want to make it clear: i didnt reach my dr. but i learned a lot, i found my footing again and if you're interested in the learning process, read ahead! it might help you fix things you've been struggling with too :)

anyway, as ive been meditating a little recently, it wasnt to hard to focus at first. compared to all the other years ive tried the julia method, this time, i concentrated with ease. i didnt have any scattered thoughts distracting me and i was able to quickly move on if they did start to show. for me, as someone who started shifting wondering how on earth i could shift if i couldnt control my simple thoughts, this was a huge win!! it might have taken a few years, but i am confident that i have already overcome all the big hurdles for myself and am on the right track.

concentrating is one thing; even last year, after a lot of meditation and yoga beforehand, i was eventually able to calm myself. with effort, i could achieve it. but visualisation? when i was younger, i was a very good visualiser. but, at some point, that all changed. i often found that my visualisations were out of my control, that for example, when i visualised a house, a tornado would suddenly appear and just destroy it. even when i did visualise, it was with a lot of mental strain and my visualisations ended up fuzzy anyway. i think, on a deeper level, it has something to do with my anxiety and my life - feeling like things are always out of my control.

so this time round, i was so happy to find my visualisations were stable. i went from being someone who thought she couldnt visualise at all, even thinking she had aphantasia to actually picturing all the prompts in the guided meditation and being able to focus on my dr. what helped me was definitely practicing visualisations during my reprogramming days - i found an image of my waking point (tigris snow's guest room, check out my other post!!), saved it to my phone and just stared at it. i visualised every detail as i went about my day - remembering little things i wanted to focus on (the blue wallpaper, the red shoes, the grimm's fairytale book, the golden bedframe). i started just by picturing the image, then slowly doing a general 360, even if was fuzzy at first before it got stronger and i had established my waking point. so when i was shifting, i could conjure these up easily.

(to anyone that struggles with visualisation - this is your sign!! dont give up! practice it! its a skill too!! you can do it and i promise, it really helps with shifting in the long run)

so, there i was. i'd gotten up to the bit in the meditation where it focused on conjuring up an object in your mind and sending it away and everything was good. but as soon as she moved on and asked for this to be applied to the dr/cr situation (send away what your cr touches and replace with dr), it was all moving too fast for me. i think this was one of the first things that threw me off - feeling out of control and suddenly unable to follow on. for me, this is when i started disconnecting. counting to 100, i had lost a bit of focus trying to catch up with myself and that didnt help.

furthermore, the counting to 100 thing freaks me out. personally, it makes me feel out of control. i would prefer if i could count to 100 myself, as, when the meditation reaches 100, i sort of feel like the method is over and that i should just start again yk? idk. maybe my issue is that i want control over something that is meant to be spiritually freeing? maybe i should allow myself to let go more. i will resolve to do that during tonight's shift then.

after that, i lost focus. even then, when i tried, i could see a light from my cr and forcing my eyes shut made me lose the flow.

overall, this shift was a 5.5/10 and the extra .5 because i, having written this blog post, realised how far i have come in the long run and so that def deserves credit. i felt few symptoms, though i know that this isnt necessarily a prerequisite of shifting, and i didnt really feel connected to my dr? as it was my first shift, however, i dont mind.

anyway resolutions for my future shifts:

meditate a little beforehand to allow myself to be more detached and let go of my anxieties. trust the process more. maybe use guided meditation as a relaxation technique (because as a meditation i liked it) rather than as a method.

things i want to try out:

shifting in the hypnagogic state - i usually set an alarm for like 4am and try the hypnopompic method - but i am going to try and just stay awake until i'm really sleepy. i find that i have the most trust in this method, as last year, i had many vivid dreams and close lucid dreams after trying this. in terms of a method, i might just affirm a little and trust the process.

on a side note, writing out all my shifting thoughts helps with finding direction instead of being caught up in my own confusion. would recommend.

anyway, happy shifting

tish :)

[megaman-r]

It's been quiet! So, what's gotten done lately?

Well, first of all I keep writing really complicated novel-length MMX fic instead...which isn't making my other hobbies go any faster...sweats profusely.

But anyway!

Roll can die from taking damage.

Of course, this makes her lose a life.

She'll respawn at the start of a stage...

...Unless she's hit a checkpoint, in which case, she'll respawn from there instead.

And if Roll runs out of lives, you go to the game over screen.

From there you can choose to continue from the start of the same stage...

Or you can go back to the stage select.

(Or, technically, you can quit to desktop.)

So yeah, basic expected gameplay loop functionality, more or less. Doing all this from scratch is a lot more involved than it sounds like, though. There's a perfectly good Game Maker setup for making Mega Man fan games, aaaaand I'm not using that engine so it's basically useless to me and I started from quite literally nothing instead. Figuring it all out by myself instead took a long time and a lot of rubber ducking.

On top of that, Pixel Game Maker MV is, as I've learned the hard way, very tetchy about handling load/save operations, and I couldn't figure out why it was refusing to save checkpoints properly until I figured it out: the version I'm using for my dev environment will only succeed at a single file operation per runtime action. Any others in the same runtime action will silently fail. That was hours of trial and error to figure out why it was failing to write save files, but only about half of them, for no apparent reason. But it's been troubleshooted! Troubleshot? Whichever. It works now! It's actually been a huge hurdle.

All the Robot Master boss music exists, too, which is pretty cool. The first iteration accidentally sounded like John Cena's theme, which was, uh. Funny as heck, but not intended. So I went back and made that not be the case, though that means that the SiIvaGunner joke of remixing tracks to be John Cena's theme and saying they're an alpha version is not even a joke here, it's literal. That is a real thing that happened and I didn't even realize it until someone in the dev Discord pointed it out.

Next on the roadmap is getting individual file save slots functional. Checkpoints and level start actually use save files as well; they're just temporary, and the engine deletes and recreates them pretty frequently to avoid buggy shenanigans. I'd like to be able to display at least basic save file information on each save slot, so I'll need to figure out how that works and what that screen should look like. Games will autosave on the stage select screen, though you can always clear a slot manually to start a new game. Very SNES kind of system.

After that's all implemented and debugged, I can probably start thinking about actual playable content, since that wraps up the vast majority of the UI. Good thing, too, because I actually kind of hate working on UI. 🥲 It's a necessary evil, though, and I think it'll be a pretty alright UI when it's finished. Nothing groundbreaking, but does a classic-style Mega Man game need a groundbreaking menu? I think probably it doesn't, and I can save my energy for the gameplay.

[sunflowercider]

holy shit. I finally puzzled out the last huge hurdle for my Giant Fic. My outline is basically done. I just need to adjust a few things, and then I think I might ask someone to read this crazy outline to see if it would make sense as a fic, and then start properly writing the damn thing