#but he also wanted to be fucked/loved stupid and mari was like I know what he needs everyone get out of my way

[rexxdjarin]

everyone thought rex was so proper and by the book and noble and too dedicated to his job and his duty to be dating around

and mari really said.....I bet I could fuck him and incite the freak in him. she unlocked his inner slut and then cuffed him.

truly incredible the power of pussy

[britneyshakespeare]

The shy bachelor Godwin thought that Mary Robinson was not only intelligent and "Rational," but also incomparably beautiful. His daughter Mary Shelley recorded that "Among his acquaintances were several women, to whose society he was exceedingly partial, and who were all distinguished for personal attractions and talents. Among them may be mentioned the celebrated Mary Robinson, whom to the end of his life he considered as the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, but though he admired her so greatly, their acquaintance scarcely attained intimate friendship."

Perdita: The Literary, Theatrical, and Scandalous Life of Mary Robinson (2004) by Paula Byrne, page 322, contained in the beginning of Chapter 22: Radical

[papayadays]

miami

summary: lando x american!reader gf - lando gets his first win in miami, and you’re there for it

a/n: for lando’s amazing race win!! so proud and over the moon <33 also this is very self indulgent (*cough* especially the mit part), omg 

warnings: none i think, fluff, happiness, maybe language like once or twice?

“it’s lights out and away we go!” you heard crofty say. you watched the screen anxiously as you always did with race starts, fiddling with your rings. in the mclaren garage, you heard a collective gasp as checo locked up, nearly taking lando and both ferraris out. then there were cheers as oscar got p4 and then p3, but you were hardly paying attention.

“that was stupid,” you muttered under your breath. “he could’ve ruined so many people’s races.” feeling a gentle prod on your shoulder, you turned around.

“dear, maybe don’t say that here,” your mother advised. “you know how that fans are going to take it.” your dad nodded silently in agreement as you sighed reluctantly.

“fine,” you conceded, biting your nails absentmindedly. “i’m glad y’all are here though.” it was the miami grand prix, and you and your family were in the garage watching your boyfriend. it was very convenient that your family was already on the east coast and florida was always a welcome getaway. this was one of the first races you could actually go to since you were busy with college, studying engineering at mit. to be quite honest, you were probably only going to be able to make it to the three us races and maybe a summer race or two.

you remember the conversation you had with lando before the race. “today is a day full of possibilities,” you heard him mumble to himself. walking towards, him you wrapped your arms around him, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck.

“it is,” you agreed, pecking his lips. “podium at least, i think. the car has pace, starting spot is good, data looks nice, ferrari will probably fuck up, and i believe in you.”

his grip on you tightened as he let out a sigh. “every time i think it will go well, things fall apart, with the sprint quali, the sprint race, regular quali,” he said, disappointed. “i just want to do well at your home race, and with your family there too.”

you moved his head to meet your gaze. “lan, you will always make me proud no matter what,” you stated softly. “and my family adores you too. just go out there, and work your magic. i love you, baby.”

lando gave you a wide smile, making your heart flutter as he nestled his head on your shoulder. “thanks, love,” he grinned. “i’ll try and be more positive. i love you too.”

“is it warm in miami?” cisca asked over your phone’s facetime. you had called them since they were back in bristol so you could all be connected as you watched lando.

“very,” you nodded, smiling at your boyfriend’s mother. “but, nothing i’m not used to, i suppose. one summer, when we came to disney, it was sweltering. at least the roller coasters helped cool me off.” this earned a snort from adam, who was staring intently at their tv.

you turned back to the screen, seeing oscar rising up while lando was still behind checo. mouth pressed into a line, you fiddled with your thumbs, looking at your papaya orange nails.

soon, checo had pitted, and you knew that the ferraris and oscar were going to respond to that. earlier, you had talked to will about doing a one stopper, which they were optimistic for, but that was on the premise that a late safety car would come out. you walked over the the panels, observing the telemetry wordlessly, noticing the promising signs of pace.

after the influx of stops, max soon peeled into the pits after hitting a cone -much to your surprise - leaving your boyfriend in first place. “please let the one stopper work,” you murmured. “we need a hail mary overcut.” the performance engineer flashed you an amused look for a brief moment before turning back to the data.

lando maintained the lead, a somewhat-comfortable margin to max, which was baffling you, but also was something you had predicted. suddenly, there was a ruckus in the garage. your eyes had been fixed on the telemetry, so when you eyed the screen, your hand flew to your face, adrenaline pumping through you. “oh my god, oh my god!” you exclaimed. “safety car!” logan had crashed out, and you would be sure to talk to your fellow american later to reassure him, but not now.

the pit crew immediately rushed out, with lando coming in to capitalize on this opportunity. it was a perfect stop, and as he came back out, he came back out with a substantial gap to max, a whole lap ahead of the safety car. please, please, please, you silently prayed.

at the restart, your heart was pounding as max moved closer and closer, about to pounce before lando closed the door on him, pulling away. you let out a sigh of relief, hands at your chest, before glancing back at the data. your eyes widened. the car was flying. with the new hards and fast car, it was like all the pieces were falling into place. your hands flew up to cup your mouth, nervous gibberish coming out as your mother wrapped her arm around your shoulder and cisca gave you an understanding smile.

as the gap to max grew, your freaking out worsened substantially. “oh my lord, please,” you repeated for the umpteenth time, hands still over your mouth. “c’mon, lan.” with each lap, you felt your heart swelling with hope.

and in the blink of an eye, you were on lap 57. “oh my god, he’s gonna do it!” you whispered shouted. you watched as lando rounded the last corner, face stretching into a wide grin. then, he crossed the line. “OH MY GOD HE DID IT!” tears of joy started to stream down your face as you grinned at the screen, barely feeling yourself being pulled into a hug by your parents. over the phone, cisca and adam were freaking out as well, ecstatic at their son winning his first race. “lando, oh my god, oh my fucking god, he’s a race winner!”

you high fived everyone you could reach in the garage, cheers ringing out, before making your way down to the pit lane. “zak, he did it!” you exclaimed, not wanting to bother will yet. the ceo pulled you into a hug, his face red with excitement. your fellow american grinned as you turned to will, tapping his shoulder and giving him a silent thumbs up. here, you could hear lando’s radio, with his cheering that made even more tears fall down your face and then him saying he loved the team. then, he said, “we did it, will!” and that hit you hard, full on sobbing with joy now.

you made your way with the rest of the team to parc ferme, where you saw lando’s mclaren park on the track. he took his time, getting out and pointing a finger to the sky as he stood on his car. you clapped your hands as hard as you could, voice the loudest you’ve ever heard you use.

then, he took off his helmet, revealing the brown curls you loved so much as he made his way. you could spot his smile from miles away, making your heart melt. then, he grinned at the team, putting down his helmet and running at them, leaping into their arms. you could hear his laughs between his sobs, and you pulled you phone out for a quick picture, wanting a picture to save forever. he was fucking on top of the world in that moment, just like he was your world. lando was set back in front of the metal barriers and zak hugged him, hopefully not breaking any ribs.

then came andrea, and the moment was so heartwarming, you almost didn’t see will pushing you past the barriers. then lando was in front of you, arms wrapped around your torso as he pulled you in for a deep, magical kiss. you felt all of his emotions, and you tried to convey your pride. “lan, baby, race fucking winner!” you exclaimed, tears still running down your face. “it’s been a long time coming, but it’s finally your day and you deserve it so much. i’ve been dreaming of this for you, and i’m so glad i could be here for it. this is your moment, and i am so, so fucking proud of you. i love you so much, lando.” your smile was impossibly wide as you gazed at your amazing boyfriend, the moment still not quite sinking in yet.

he was ushered to interviews, but not after he was congratulated by half the grid. it made you chuckle, to see how loved your boyfriend was, even among his rivals. he couldn’t stop smiling the entire interview as jenson reflected on everything. you too, started remembering his journey, back when he was a rookie in 2019, to his podium in austria, to sochi’s heartbreak, to all his podiums, and now. you were snapped out of your thoughts when you heard lando say, “this one is for a lot of the special people in my life. my grandma, my parents, my girlfriend and her family, who happen to live in the us, and lastly, for the team. i love you all, and thank you so much for everything.”

afterwards, you tuned out of max and charles interviews, eyes fixed on your boyfriend as he went to get ready for the podium. everything was a blur up until they announced lando, the race winner. you cheered like you had never cheered before, wiping away the ever flowing tears as he pumped his fist, moving to stand on the top step. finally, after so long.

the british national anthem started playing, and you noticed the pride etched onto lando’s smile. you mouthed along the words, having learned them years ago for this specific scenario. your eyes were trained on him, something he noticed as he gave you a wink, grin widening at seeing you singing his national anthem.

after the music ended, you laughed as max and charles wasting no time in spraying your boyfriend in champagne. he looked so thrilled and you wanted that memory seared into the back of your eyelids. lando’s bottle smash seemed brilliant this time and the tears finally stopped as you gazed up at him, beaming with happiness. that was your boy.

then, lando was quick to exit the stage, heading back down to the team where he quickly pulled you into his arms. “baby, y/n, love!” he exclaimed, pressing kisses all over your face. “i actually did it!”

“you did,” you responded, voice filled with glee. “i’m so, so proud of you, lan! about fucking time. huh, nico was right. lando norris, you’re a race winner. and this is your time to shine.” you pressed your lips against his, wrapping your arms around his neck in a euphoric kiss.

“this one’s for you baby,” lando grinned. “and there’s more to come.”

[marycorcaroli]

sub!luffy x fem!reader

dom!fem!reader with sub!luffy? hmmm..

req ♡ : sub!luffy getting fucked silly by another captain of a rival crew who's also trying to find the one piece, and luffy being all needy and stupid.

mary ♡ : thanks for the request and sorry if it was too long ! 💌 i hope you enjoy everything, i tried really hard ! love luffy too much <3

english is not my first language, i apologize for my mistakes ♡

rules ; masterlist

your hips keep pounding against luffy's thighs, ignoring his pleas to stop, because he can't cum anymore, but can he? his cock is throbbing inside you, and legs are trying to pound into you themselves to fill you all over.

"y/n, please make me feel good, only you can do that, ah-h" luffy tried to say something intelligible, but nothing came out, it felt too good that his brain refused to think. he didn't remember how many times he had cum, three, four or five? you clouded his mind, he could only think about you and your soft cunnie that was so right for his big cock.

you picked up your pace with each passing second, realizing that you were close to orgasm, but it wasn't your plan to show that to luffy, you just needed a map and some information about the one piece, but instead you were bouncing on some strange boy whose cock surprised you as much as he did.

"your body was made for me, wasn't it sweetie? i know just what to do to make you cum like you've never cum before, hehe." your lips descended on luffy's nipples, leaving wet kisses on them and lifting up to his chin "just tell me anything i want to hear and i'll even let you cum inside me, isn't that a gift, darling?"

when you stopped you felt luffy's hands grasp you sharply and his eyes became glassy, he started to cry and tried to make you resume your pace, but you continued to sit and wait for the answer to your question, running your finger over the places where you had left your marks for everyone else, with your claw you left the name of your team, that's how everyone would know whose slut luffy really was.

yours.

he was your whore from the first moment you met him, at the bar, the night you sought out zoro and offered to join you, but he was a son of a bitch and left you to your own devices until a strange guy came along and tried to hit on you.

"you want zoro? join my team and he'll be with you all the time." his cocky grin threw you off balance, but it was time for luffy to get scared as your hand grabbed his cock through his clothes and began to massage it gradually.

"yes, i want zoro, but now i want to destroy you even more." your hot breath on luffy's neck gave him goosebumps, he was lost in space and didn't realize what was going on, but he knew one thing for sure, he wanted you to fuck him in the dirtiest way possible.

as you replayed the memories in your head, you didn't hear the pleading along with luffy's whimpering, he was like a little kid, but wanting your cunnie very badly.

"y/n? p-p..lease i'm.. begging you, s-start moving and i'll tell you everything you want, i'll let you get to the one piece, j-just, fuck it all out of me." his eyes were like puppy dog eyes, it was impossible to refuse them, but you didn't want to, did you? after all, when else would you have just an obedient boy who would do anything for your pussy.

your gentle palm touched his cheek and slowly traced down the whole side of his face, and your eyes stayed on luffy's eyes, you wanted to see how pathetic he'd become in just one night and you were the reason why.

with a quick motion you planted luffy and slowly began to move in time to his hips.

"you look great when you're begging for something, all sweaty and red eyed, i'm going to make you feel good baby, but after this you're not likely to be able to walk or think properly." throwing him back on the pillows and squeezing his fingers tightly, your pace began to quicken again, and luffy's moans grew louder and louder.

it was a delight to your ears, knowing that he was only like that for you, only you see him that way, but or not really....

you didn't notice zoro with his red cock in his hand, he was watching you and jerking off, but he also wants to feel himself inside you or luffy, he hadn't decided yet, but he knew that you and him could destroy luffy with your dirty words and endless orgasms.

[puppetwoman17]

I’ve been wanting to talk about this but I thought it would sound weird and kinda Mary Sue like! Glad to hear that I’m not the only one.

I’m very adamant on Cap being a pillar in not only the magic community(cause of his Champion role obviously) but the hero community as well. He’s well-known for his heroics and impossible stories about battling sentient worms and being diplomatic with alien dinosaurs.

He’s also loved for the advice he gives. All Billy wants to do is bring smiles to these peoples’ days. He dishes out advice like it’s candy and always sees the good in people. He’s great at looking at situations through multiple viewpoints and understanding everyone’s thought processes. This in particular helps with the Superman and Superboy problem. He tells both of them individually that both of their hardships are valid. Clark is allowed to feel violated because his DNA was stolen and mutated in a way that was against his consent. Connor never asked to be created, always wanting Superman’s love but never receiving it.

They reconcile, and Billy doesn’t think much of it, because it’s what anyone would do, right? No biggie. He even does something similar with Red Arrow, convincing him that he’s not just a clone. He’s his own person. He built his own life. He has his own achievements. He shouldn’t feel bad for any of this because none of it was in his control. And Roy is so damn grateful because it feels like a weight has been taken off his shoulders.

Marvel just shrugs. No biggie.

He talks Leaguers through both personal and professional problems and guides them onto a simple, honest path because adults make everything so damn complicated so why can’t you just sit THE FUCK DOWN—

Ahem.

So he helps with that too. No biggie, right? Just another good deed.

He expands his one-way business to other teams too, like the JSA, the YJ team, the Teen Titans, etc. Spends time with each of them, helps them solve their own problems whether they’re big or small.

No biggie, right?

Fucking. Wrong.

The world of heroes absolutely adores him! The other hero teams look to him like he’s the cool uncle. Despite no one knowing jackshit about his personal life, they trust him wholeheartedly. They know he’s got their back.

That’s actually what hurts, tho. Whenever anyone asks him about his life outside the cape, he gets tongue-tied. Panicked. Silent. Doesn’t say a word until a new topic is brought up and then changes wheels like it’s nothing. It hurts, knowing he doesn’t trust them. They know it’s stupid, he never had obligations to tell them anything about the real him, but it stings. Where does he go when he isn’t Cap? Does he have family? A lover? Hobbies? Pets? Why is he like a brick wall with them? Did they do something wrong?

Things get especially annoying when characters like Booster Gold(from the future) and Doctor Fate(Lord of Order, basically on the same pedestal as the Champion) know his identity and don’t even bother to hide that fact. Leaguers will frequently catch Booster making knowing jabs at the Captain, winking and saying strange things that get the Captain riled up and shaking his head profusely. Nabu is no help either, with Leaguers catching him and Marvel quietly conversing. When someone, say, Barry, shows up, Marvel stops talking.

It fucking hurts. A lot. And Billy doesn’t even notice the looks of jealousy cast at his future teammate and fellow Lord by his coworkers. The YJ team is not taking that shit because that is their den dad. Diana doesn’t appreciate that these strangers know more about her brother than she does. Flash is all confused and slightly annoyed because when are they gonna play another prank on Hal? Is he just gonna keep talking to those weirdos all day? And the next?

Billy’s honestly just happy to be here. He never thought he’d get past the age of ten, so doing all of this, helping these heroes while learning more about himself, is just great. He’s speedrunning his way through every moody, self-righteous, hurt, traumatized hero with no sweat on his back.

So yeah, he is beloved and he doesn’t even know it. You betcha that when Cap’s identity is revealed, everyone goes full mama bear/papa bear/protective older brother or sister on him. No way is he leaving without supervision.

Nabu and Booster are rolling their eyes cause hello? That’s the Champion of Magic. If anything, he’s the one they should be worried about.

Yeah, they are politely asked to leave after that. Anyhow Billy, wanna go get some hot chocolate 😘😍

Excuse the word vomit.

[runnning-outof-time]

John & "Listen to yourself.”

Angst to fluff!

Thanks for sending this in, anon! I’m sorry it took me a bit to get to write it! I hope it’s along the lines of what you were thinking of! Also just try to imagine it’s (Y/N) instead of Esme in the gif - I felt that it fit the scene and couldnt help but use it! Enjoy! :)

I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! - YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!

Part of my 3.5k Celebration - find more stories here!

But I Got Your Mind Off of It

John Shelby x Reader

Warnings: language, mention of a weapon

Word Count: 1111

Summary: John manages to talk (Y/N) off the ledge before she blows up the longest relationship she has over something so silly…which happens to be something she’s also done before.

The sound of the bang that the door closing made was even loud enough to make John Shelby jump. He scrambled from the table he was sitting at to get over to the concealed hole in the wall where a revolver was nestled. He was just about to access it when he noticed who had slammed the door.

“The fuck was that for, (Y/N)?” he asked his wife, his brows furrowing together in confusion.

(Y/N) didn’t hear him though. She was too busy pacing the floor while muttering unintelligible things. Something about someone being stupid and never wanting to see them again. John wracked his brain for a moment, trying to figure out if it was something that he’d done.

He decided to finally approach her when he came up empty. “What’s goin’ on with you, love?” he asked her, hoping that his voice was level enough so that she wouldn’t get set off…even more than she all already had been.

“I just can’t believe she did that to me,” she finally spoke clear enough for John to hear what she was saying.

“Who did what?” John still didn’t quite understand what was going on.

“Mary,” (Y/N) snapped, as if she was annoyed that John hadn’t come into the conversation with all of the details.

But that didn’t stop John from asking more questions. “What did Mary do?” was his next one.

“She stood me up. We had an entire evening planned and then she cancelled last minute!” she didn’t hesitate in sharing her frustrations, aggravation starkly present in her words.

John furrowed his eyebrows as he took a moment to figure out which way he should approach the situation. (Y/N) was not one to be messed with when she was hot about something, and he hadn’t seen her this worked up in a long time. But before he was able to do anything however, (Y/N) was turning to leave the shop.

“That’s it!” she proclaimed as she made for the door, “I’m going to give her a piece of my mind!” She then started angrily walking towards the door. Just as her left hand reached for the knob, her right was pulled backwards. She gasped as she was spun and within seconds, her back was pressed against the brick wall. Her eyes widened as she looked at her husband, who now had her pinned so that she couldn’t leave.

“You’re not going anywhere…not like this, at least,” he told her, speaking in a calm voice because he knew that if he raised it, all hell would break loose.

“Let me go, John,” she huffed, trying, and failing, to break from his grasp.

“Why did she cancel?” he asked, not giving into her wishes.

Lucky for him, (Y/N) was all for giving the details now. “She ditched me to spend time with her new man. We had this night planned for weeks just to have her call me earlier today saying that he’s asked her out for dinner. She’s ditching me for dinner!” She was fuming by the end of her explanation, all of her anger washing back in again. Who ditches their best friend of over 10 years to have dinner with a guy?? The thought of it was absurd!

John searched her eyes for a moment, waiting to see if she had anything else to add. When she stayed silent, he couldn’t help but break into stiffled laughter. This made (Y/N)’s brows furrow. “What the fuck are you laughing about, John?!” she asked incredulously, not sure if she was now more upset with her friend or her husband.

“Listen to yourself, (Y/N),” he began, surpressing his laughter so that a more serious air would fall over the conversation once more.

“What?” she snapped back at him.

“What Mary’s doing…” he started, shaking his head slightly as he snorted to himself, “you did the exact same thing to her when you started seeing me.”

“I did not!” she immediately proclaimed, shocked that he wasn’t taking her side on this matter.

“You absolutely did,” he stood firm with his point.

“Yeah? When?”

“One of the first dates I took you on. I brought you out for dinner, and you told me that you felt so bad for having to cancel your plans with your best friend.”

“Yeah, but…but I felt bad about it,” (Y/N) was quick to point out.

“You don’t think Mary feels bad about it?” John asked with raised eyebrows.

“At least I didn’t cancel the day of!” she pointed out another - what she at least thought was a - flaw in John’s argument.

“Well maybe unlike your amazingly considerate then-boyfriend, now-husband, her boyfriend doesn’t have the same regards to the possibility that Mary had other plans.”

“You’re so full of yourself, John,” (Y/N) snorted as a smile broke passed the deep frown she was wearing.

“Just stating the facts, love,” he winked at her, making her roll her eyes in response. “But I got your mind off of it, didn’t I?” he questioned then.

(Y/N) pursed her lips as she realized what he’d done. Then she silently cursed him and his ability to make her mood change on a dime. She waited a few moments before she, begrudgingly, replied: “you did.”

“Good. Mission accomplished,” he grinned, finally letting go of her hands so that he could settle both of his under her jaw. “Now what I’m hearing from you is…” he paused, licking his lips as his grin grew bigger, “that you’ve got the night free.”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes again, trying so hard to keep up the act that she was angry. But it was so damn hard with him looking at her the way he was. “My night is free now,” she finally answered him.

“Which means you’re able to spend it with me?” he checked.

“You don’t have any duties to carry out at the Garrison?” she responded with a question of her own.

“None that are as important as me wife,” he grinned.

“You can be so cheesy sometimes.”

“But I got your mind off of what you were mad about, didn’t I?”

“Just take me out on the town…before I go and change my mind,” she dismissed his question, though the look on her face told him immediately that he was absolutely right.

“You don’t need to ask me twice,” he grinned before he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. “Let’s go,” he said after pulling away, reaching down to take her hand in his and lead her out of the betting shop.

**tagging in a reblog so the notification gets sent out!

MASTERLIST

[mrvlbimbo]

AHHH EDDIE MUNSON LITERALLY OWNS ME HOLY FUCK

this is a request btw but if you dont wanna this could easily just be us geeking abt this beautiful man

okok sO y/ns like this good girl teachers pet-- pleated skirts and mary janes and all-- with straight a's and she's sent to tutor eddie bc man is failing with a capital F so they're studying in her pink room with a bunch of awesome stuffies (in my head a lot of them are dragons and gargoyles and eddie's nerdy lil heart fricken explodes but this is just me being stupid in love) and he has full intention to do absolutely zERO work

(corruption kink and dom!eddie if you couldn't tell by now jdjjd)

and the whole time he's just teasing her (cough degrading her cough) and flirting with her (cO U G H praising her ahem) and- oops now they're fucking *acts shocked*

fin

(also i'm 19 minors pls away away *sprays you with water*)

oh gosh. This is filth, genuinely. I don't know how I wrote this with a straight face. I need to go to confession or smthn.

content: innocence kink, unprotected sex, creampie, improper use of a study date, I literally never know what to put in this part, not proofread bc I'm lazy

Eddie paced around the delightfully pink room, taking note of how the frilly edge of the bedspread matched the girl spread out on top of it to a tee.

In his dreams this is exactly how her room looked, sans the adorable stuffed animals that even he couldn’t have conjured up in his imagination. He plucked one off the bed, inspecting it carefully as if it were some precious item. "Your room is uh...cute,” he commented.

“Oh jeez. I mean to put those away before you got here.” She shook her head and her bottom lip between her teeth, coaxing the stuffed animal out of his hand and carefully setting it back on the bed.

“I think they’re cute. Didn’t take you for a bat girl though,” he teased, gesturing to her large collection of unorthodox stuffed animals. It was made up of mostly bats, with a few dragons and other miscellaneous fantasy creatures.

“Oh yeah. I wanted to rip the head off of one of them, ya know as a reference to Ozzy Osborne, but my mom said it was too vulgar.”

"You're cute too,” he said confidently. She had noticed the way she looked at him in class and when their teacher paired them together to help get his grade up, he knew it was his chance to make a move.

"Hm?” She hummed.

“You’re cute too. Like the bats.” His voice pitched slightly, still unsure of his actions. She sat on the edge of her bed, blinking up at him with wide sparkling eyes.

She shook her head, looking away and hiding the shy smile on her face. “Oh. I don’t think-“

“Aw. Why are you getting shy on me now?” he teased, cupping her face. His thumb brushed over her lip, pushing its way into her mouth when her lips gaped slightly.

“Mmmm,” she whined around his finger, looking up at him though her fluttering lashes with an innocent and confused gaze.

“Lookit you. All innocent and yet you’re sucking my finger like a-"

She tongued his finger out of her mouth, pushing it away harshly and whining the residual drool off her face. “Eddie. We need to study," she warned.

“Alright, baby. Whatever you want. How about you sit on my lap so we can focus on each other better?” He sat in her bed, back against her headboard. He waited comfortably for her answer.

“O-ok.” She hesitantly straddled his lap, knees shaking to hold her a respectable distance above him.

He gripped her waist, tugging her hips down to meet his so she was resting more comfortably on his lap. “So. Tell me about the Pythagorean theorum.”

“Basically…” She droned on about the sides of a triangle and how they all related to each other. Her voice stuttered slightly when his hands fell from her waist down to her thighs, pushing up her skirt and digging his fingers into the flesh of her legs.

“Mhm, keep going. Did I say you could stop?” he asked, his voice innocent enough but he was clearly mocking her.

“Why is your lap so hard?” She questioned, hips stuttering and involuntarily rubbing against him.

“Because someone is soaking right though their panties onto my cock,” he chastised, running two fingers over the seam of her and feeling the wetness seep through.

“I didn’t mean-“ she started to apologize but she was quickly interrupted.

"If you're gonna get them all wet, you don't really need them do you?" he asked, hooking his fingers into the band and tugging it back. The fabric snapped back against her skin, causing a whimper to leave her lips.

"Uh, no. I guess not," she replied slowly. Before she could finish he was already prying the underwear off her body, gently sliding them down her legs.

She whined when she pressed her uncovered cunt back to the denim of his jeans. His arms wrapped around her waist, pressing her tightly to him but stilling any motion she could have made with her hips.

“Aw, none of that. Do you want me to help?” He asked, slipping one hand down to grip her ass and squeeze.

“You’re gonna make me feel better?” she whimpered, a pleading look in her eyes.

He could already feel her wetness dripping onto his lap, easily sliding two fingers into her. “Yeah. I’m gonna make you feel so good," he cooed, curling them against her walls. A smooth metal ring bumped against her clit, sending a shiver though her body.

He teased his fingers in and out of her, revealing in the way her body shook violently against him. "Pleeeease," she whined, grinding herself down on his digits when he stopped moving.

"This isn't enough for your greedy pussy?" She didn't respond, instead wailing against the skin of his neck, drool dripping from her mouth against him.

"More." She rolled her hips, seeking out friction from his unmoving fingers.

"Alright. Alright." He slipped his fingers out, making quick work of unzipping his pants and tugging his boxers over his hard cock. The appendage slapped against his stomach, angry reddened tip already leaking with pre-cum.

"Oh. It's pink!" she yelped, fingers ghosting over the shaft as she examined it.

"Y-yep," he gasped when she wrapped her fingers around it finally.

She giggled when it twitched against her soft palm, lazily jerking him off and watching the way he reacted.

"You want me to put it in?" he asked, peeling her fingers away and replacing them with his own.

She nodded, lifting her hips so he could run the head of him against the silky wet folds of her cunt. He rubbed the tip around her bundle of nerves, giving an adequate amount of time for her to get desperate.

Finally he settled inside her, bottoming out with only a little pain. He stayed still for a moment, letting her get used to the stretch. By the time he started to gently thrust his hips, her pussy was already drooling around him.

Her legs were shaking, doing no favors In helping her fuck herself on his cock. His hips thrusting up into her were doing most of the work along with his hands cupping her waist and sliding her over him like a pocket pussy.

It was only minutes before she was spasming around him, one hand tangled in his hair while the other was clawing at the neck of his shirt.

"S'good," he slurred, cum spilling inside of her at the same time as she convulsed in pleasure.

"mmmMMm," she moaned, slumping against him, exhausted and drowsy.

"Was that good?" he asked, far too shy for their current situation. Both of their laps were sopping with their combined fluids before he even pulled out.

"Yeah," she murmured, nuzzling her head against his chest affectionally.

"I still don't know the pythagorean theorem," he joked, giving her a little kiss on the forehead. A bit of affection exchanged before he got up to clean them both off.

taglist here:

@angelsarecallin @sebby-staan @niviiera @chaoticgurl @evqans @slut-for-matt-murdock @multihaven @tinyboxxtink @hold-our-destiny @weh-heh-heh @battiebabe216 @captain-satan @avril-reblog-cave @dragon-ash13 @stxvercgersslut  @fangirl199812 @variety-fangirl @buckybeefybarnes @strangerthings64 @baddestbiddiesonly

(lmk if you want to be added)

[irishmammonagenda]

Hello! I hope your requests are open 🧚‍♀️

Can i ask, what brothers' reaction would be on MC who sings something like MSI (you know smth like "son of a bitch! God's like me!") or just alternative rock/punk in general?

Answer only if you're okay with that❤️

Have a great day🏃‍♂️

hihi‼️(i love the amount of emojis u use i can feel ur personality through the screen teehee)

i absoluetley can‼️‼️ also tysm for the new music to listen to (im kind of new to alt rock and punk i only really used to listen to MCR lmao😭)

anyway this was fun to write

grma for the ask <3

Obey Me Brothers React to MC Being a Wee Emo.

DISCLAIMER: emo is used as a word because where im from emo is used to describe nearly any type of alternative fashion bc we're all dumb over here app, also im 2% sure pop punk/poprock is emo music bc i think thats what mcr is, so we're going w/ it ig, the only thing ik abt music is that bars 13-20 in the dambusters themetune has fanfare so if i get any terms wrong lmk 😔✊

WARNINGS: There's a slight slight hint of drinks being spiked in Beel's one. nothing ever happens its just him keeping an eye on your drink at a concert just in case.

LUCIFER

He hears music blasting in the music room in the House of Lamentation.

At first he just sighs, it sounds like the type of music Belphie would listen to when trying to plan out another Anti-Lucifer League. The teenage angst probably helped fuel the seventh born’s desire and motivation to prank him.

He sneaks into the Music room. Technically he just walked in quietly, but you still jumped when you saw him.

"L-Lucifer!! Hiya!!" You say awkwardly, not looking the first born in they eyes. "What's up?" He blinks slowly at you, fighting the urge to place a gloved hand on the bridge of his nose and pinch it in disappointment (and/or second hand embarrassment) "I'm not going to say anything. Just keep it down, MC." He sighs, normally he'd have lectured you. But it reminded him too much of a wolf-cut, guyliner filled past that for the sake of his pride, he did not want to remember.

He wasn't a stranger to musical genres, the man collects records for fuck's sake.

The drums and guitars he can normally get behind. Especially with catchy rhythms.

The lyrics?....they're normally a hit or miss. It really depends on the song.

'God likes me' (MSI) 'Hail Mary, Forgive Me' (PTV) Religious references just kind of ruin some songs for him.

Lucifer spends his time collecting cursed records, but your music taste is a special kind of cursed MC.

Although, he is strangely supportive in his own way.

"MC, Lord Diavolo has gifted me some tickets to concert [small devildom band] is putting on, I thought you would enjoy it."

(Lucifer bought the tickets himself.)

MAMMON

Haha, Emo!

"Yer a wee emo so ye are, MC"

It's not exactly his style of music (the man listens to Kneecap ffs)

BUT!!! He wants to share things with you dammit! Let him listen to your stupid emo music with you!!! He's your first man!!!

He does, however learn how to play guitar so he can play some simple chords while you sing horrible improvised lyrics with horrible improvised chords.

You don't have the heart to tell him that acoustic guitars aren't normally used in Punk/Rock music.

The sound of horribly improvised chord progressions ring out in your bedroom as you and your first man stand back to back, horrible matching messy eyeliner on both of yours and Mammon's eyes as you hold a hairbrush to your mouth and improvise lyrics. That is, if you can even get them out of your mouth before laughing. "Blood in my body! Because I'm aliveeee!!!" You sing off key while Mammon strums the guitar. "Love in my Bugatti! Because The Great Mammon can drive!" You laugh. Mammon whistles while missing out on the fingering of a chord and then pretending it didn't happen.

LEVIATHAN

The first thought in this man's mind is karaoke.

He sends you a playlist of Rocky kinda anime openings that you should totally listen to.

He's the least shocked and weirded out, (not that the others are weirded out)

He really likes your singing voice. It doesn't matter if you're a horrible singer, its you so it makes him happy.

You guys could do a duet? If it wasn't too much for you to sing with a stinky smelly otaku like him :(

"Levi-" You sigh, looking at the Levi shaped lump of seaweed in his aquiriam, the demon's tail twitches through the pile of aquatic plant, showing that he's listening. "Levi... Of course I'd love to do Karaoke with you...You didn't give me a chance to answer before jumping into the tank! C'mon!" It takes Levi a few more minutes before he feels ready to leave his seaweed pile, his face is completely red, but there's a small smile on his face as you set up the karaoke machine.

SATAN

Satan enjoys your music taste.

He likes most if not all human world music because music is so important to culture and he loves learning about human world culture.

What he doesn't like however, is people dropping his name in lyrics for edginess smh.

No MC, no one in Je T'aime is his bitch. Please stop asking.

He also takes you to gigs! Because why not!

The blond haired demon sat in the bar, earning a few looks from the people surrounding them. He stuck out like a sore thumb in his jumper and jeans and the book in his hands in comparision to black denim and leather, chains and sub-cultural clothes that everyone else was wearing. Satan payed it no mind as you came back with the drinks, all decked out in clothing matching the rest of the people in the venue in style. "Hope you weren't waiting long....the lines were long!" Satan takes a drink from your hand and sips it, giving a soft smile, "Not at all."

ASMODEUS

The music is a hit and miss tbh, he prefers the more pop punk kind of thing, leaning more into pop than anything else.

He likes paramore though!

Loves the clothes associated with the genres and subcultures of the music! Adopts some of it into his own style!

(He alters it heavily, but some designs are inspired by the subcultures)

He could be your adorable gorgeous boyfriend and you could be the wee emo gremlin partner!

The opposites attract will look so cute on his Devilgram.

But he geniunely supports you and your interests, he designs and makes clothes for you in the style associated with your music taste.

He even makes you merch of your favourite bands and albums inspired into clothes.

He also does your makeup before you go out to concerts or gigs

Your his emo after all.

You squirm as Asmo runs his fingers along your flushed skin, he laughs as you jerk away. "It's just a brush, it wont hurt you darling!" He laughs, putting more black eyeshadow onto the makeup brush and applying it---or atleast trying to---to your eyelids, biting back teasing comments as you jerk away. You were ticklish god dammit! It wasn't like you were meaning to! It was a natural reflex!

BEELZEBUB

He likes it.

but not because he enjoys the music persay. Don't get him wrong he can listen to it and enjoy it but he wouldn't normally seek it out.

He likes it because you and Belphie like it, and the style reminds him of the both of you.

In terms of rock music he likes the more slow ballady types. Belphie normally listens to them when he has trouble falling asleep.

Very supportive.

If you're ever in the Mosh Pit in a concert, Beel will go with you, you're just so tiny and people can push you about! (You're tiny to him. So yes MC, his point still stands.)

Taking that back, if you're at a concert, Beel's probably with you. Unless you're with another brother, Even then, Beel's probably going to come.

Bro is like your own bodyguard.

Reports to Lucifer when at concerts and makes sure you're not taking any illegal substances, you don't know what's in them MC!

He makes sure nothing is put in your drink either.

He just wants to keep you safe :(

Beel had been staring at the cup in your hands back and forth for a while now, you smile and offer it up to him. "Want a sip, Beelie? You've been staring at my drink a lot" You practically shout over the music. You weren't in the mosh pit, and though you stood a good distance away, the music was still loud. Beel shakes his head, pointing to his pint and smiling his closed eye smile, "No thanks, MC. I'm just making sure you're staying hydrated and don't need refills." He says truthfully, though that truth isn't whole. You grin, "Aww...that's so sweet!" Turning your attention away from him and back to the stage, Beel wraps an arm around your waist. Eyes alert and wary when someone so much as walked past, or a crowd member got a little too close while dancing. He was overprotective and cautious. But you deserved to be safe.

BELPHEGOR

Give him back his albums what the actual fuck.

Look just because he takes your life it doesn't mean you get to take his music taste.

Wowwww. Petty.

Fine, you can borrow his limited edition special cut vinyls.

What? Lucifer's not the only one with a record collection.

He did not get this idea from Lucifer, No you Liar.

He did.

Belphie listens to rock ballads to get to sleep when he has trouble sleeping and when he wants to.

Sometimes when you nap together he puts some on.

It's kind of like a white noise machine.

Will go to concerts with you and Beel, but has to have slept for atleast 2 whole days leading up to it so people don't think he's passed out in the crowd.

Mention any similarites about his little music vinyl collections to Lucifer's cursed record selections he will not let you borrow any for atleast 3 days.

Long before Eve bit the apple and the brother's wings turnt black, a small boy with indigo hair wakes up from a nap, pouty lips wobbling when he realises his twin is nowhere to be found. Belphie sniffles, but doesn't break into tears. He's a big boy now! Big boys don't cry when they miss their twins! Beel was probably out on a walk with Michael and Lilith in her stroller! He'd come back! But still, Belphie's bottom lip trembled, eyes watering, the little boy didn't like being seperated from his twin! He was about to cry when he heard loud music coming from a room down the hall. More curious than anything, Belphie gets off of his bed, and (taking his teddy bear with him) walks down the hall following the sound. Though his walk was more of a waddle with his tiny legs. He'd never heard anything like it before! When Beel got back he could tell him about his discovery! Soon enough he reaches a slightly cracked open door and the music is super loud here. This must be it! Waddling into the room, Belphie could see a figure laying spread eagle on one of the beds. Half of the room decorated in colour with one bed and the half of the room with the person laying on the bed was almost completely in black with a bunch of posters on the walls. Most importantly, on the floor lay a box with a spinny thing spinning that seemed to be playing the sounds! Belphie held his teddy in one hand and lifted up the thing that was running across the big black circle. Immediately the sound stopped and the figure sat up, with layered dark shoulder length hair, layered dark black white and red clothes, and enough eyeliner to paint the colourful bright half of the room pitch black. A teen Lucifer looks down at Belphie with a sour expression, upset his mope session had been interrupted. "What are you doing here?" He asks the small indigo-haired angel. Belphie looks up at him with wide, sparkling eyes before pointing to the record player. "Why's it makin' sound? There's no choir in there...." Lucifer's eyes soften. His mope session about meeting the demon prince, not hating him, and finding him pretty like the human he met down in the human world could wait. "It's a record player, Belphs." The teenager's too emo, the end is nigh, everything sucks, too cool for love and affection persona drops and reveals his softie interior. Lucifer picks up his younger brother and places him on his bed as he takes out the record that was playing in the record player and putting on one that would be much less intimidating for someone as young as Belphie. He sits back onto the bed and the small boy cuddles up to his big brother, ever the affectionate child. As the record plays on Belphie grins up at Lucifer, revealling one missing front tooth. He had lost them early, shortly after Beel's tooth had fallen out. Lucifer grinned too, suppressing a chuckle at how Beel hadn't even realised his tooth was wobbly until he bit into his breakfast and found his tooth lodged into the food. "Luci! I likes this music!" "Do you?" "Mhm!" Lucifer grins, petting his youngest brother's head. "I'll tell you what. For your birthday I'll get you your very own record player and lend you some vinyls, we can even go to the human world and pick some new ones out. I'll show you how to play them when you have them, okay?" "Okay! Thank you Luci!" After a while, the songs change from high energy into ballads, Belphie's eyes grow heavier, as do his big brother's. Belphie curled up into the elder's side, abandoning his teddy bear for grabbing at the fabric of Lucifer's shirt with tiny grubby hands as he nodded off. Lucifer made sure to try not to move, in result of the slow rock ballad music and staying completely still so not to jostle and wake up his youngest brother who would 100% get cranky if woken. Slowly, Lucifer's eyes start to close, and he falls into a soft slumber as well.

And hey, if Michael returned from his walk, and after leaving Beel and Lilith into a play room went to check in on Lucifer and saw that sight; and then proceeded to grin and take multiple photos of said sight from multiple angles to use as blackmail on his little emo twin brother Lucikins on a later occassion, then that was Michael’s business and Michael’s business alone. And Lucifer's business when Michael didn't want to do the dishes when it was his night to do them, of course.

But if you ask, Belphie'll tell you that visiting the human world is what got him interested in that type of music.

Because he's a stinky smelly little liar and should be locked up in an attic.

On a side note he bullies you for being 'emo' :(

Bro is such a hypocrite.

But to be geniune, Belphie loves that he can share his music with you. He's happy you can bond over this with him.

Not that he'd ever outright tell you.

But you can tell in the way he gives you albums and vinyls as gifts, and makes you little playlists of ballads to sleep to. (He's gotten you into the habit smh.)

[newtonsheffield]

Could we maybe… possibly get a snippet of Kate using the card for the first time and everyone calling her Mrs Bridgerton when she in fact is very much not Mrs Bridgerton… yet anyway

The thing is, growing up the Sharma’s were fairly wealthy. Mary’s a huge musician and even that pales in comparison to the way the Bridgertons are living their life.

But I think the first time Kate uses the card she feels kind of nervous, awkward about spending someone else’s money, and she probably only does it because she’s out to lunch with Daphne, Edwina and Sophie and she batted away everyone’s hands when they went to pay and in the hustle of it all she gave them the wrong card. It’s probably only when the server returns the card, the balance already paid that she realises she’s used the wrong card.

“Shit.” Kate sighed, putting the card back with her others.

“Everything alright?” Daphne’s brow furrowed, “I’m happy to split the-”

“It’s fine I just… gave them Anthony’s card. Well, my card, that’s part of Anthony’s… account.” Kate shrugged, “It’s fine, I’ll pay him back.”

“Anthony gave you a credit card?”

Sophie rolled her eyes at Edwina, “Are we surprised? He goes big, you know what he’s got her for her birthday.” She glanced at Daphne, “No offence, obviously.”

Kate’s heart stuttered, remembering the way he’d minimised what looked suspiciously like the Aston Martin website the other day when she’d walked into the living room and his tone on the phone had changed, “What’s he got me for my birthday?”

Daphne ignored Kate shrugging, “No offence taken.” She turned to Kate, “Anthony won’t even notice the charge and you basically live together. It’s not that surprising. Plus, he loves collecting the rewards points for some reason. I think it feels like a game for him from what I can tell.”

Kate shrugged, “It just… feels weird. I’ll pay him back.”

“Good luck with that.” Daphne shrugged, collecting her bag, “Now, we need to brainstorm what the hell I’m going to get Simon for his birthday. I can’t get him another watch because I can’t fucking stand the clicking from all of his stupid… automatic watch winders. Thirty is too many. No one needs to be that aware of the time.”

Kate felt guilty when she got back to Anthony’s as well, Edwina behind her, hiding the bag behind her a little awkwardly. She’d meant to use the card that time, with every intention of paying him back for the frivolous pair of boots in the bag behind her. She found Anthony already home, his slippers on as he geared up to watch the Formula One practice, Newton on the sofa beside him, belly up.

He smiled at her when she bent to kiss the top of his head, “Did you have fun?”

“Yeah, Daphne found Simon’s birthday present so a successful trip.”

He peered round her at the bag, “What did you get?”

Kate swallowed, “Okay, so I bought boots but I’ll pay you back and I’m not even sure I’ll keep them.”

Anthony blinked, “You don’t like them?”

“I love them.”

“Why would you take them back then?”

“Because they were a little expensive and… I don’t really need them? And I also bought lunch but that was an accident and like I said I’ll pay you back.”

Anthony shrugged, “Don’t worry about it.” He kissed her gently, “I’m glad you had fun. I was thinking about ordering takeaway do you want something?”

“Um… yeah?”

Anthony stood from the sofa, kissing her again, “I’ll get the menu.”

Kate stared after him as he disappeared into the kitchen, bewildered, “Don’t you even care how much money I spent?”

“Not really.”

Kate kept gaping after him and Edwina muttered, “You have a sugar daddy.”

Kate rolled her eyes, “He’s not my sugar daddy.”

“You spent… a lot of money today and he didn’t notice! He didn’t even care! And I know what he’s ordered for your birthday.”

Kate groaned, “Is it bad?”

“It’s… a wild gift for a birthday together.”

“Worse than Benedict taking Sophie to Switzerland?”

“Oh way worse.”

“Fuck.”

[crushedsweets]

It’s that time of year so I gotta ask;

What Christmas gifts do you see the Creeps getting for each other if they did or were capable of celebrating Christmas?

BEAUTIFUL ASK BEAUTIFUL ASK OK IM EXCITED. merry christmas guys :)

btw: the proxies, natalie, nina, and jack are often in contact

liu, jeff, ben, jane, sally, lulu, and ann do their own thing with their own families (or theyre undead and cant comprehend time passing.. or have nobody...etc)

GIFTS:

brian would try to get something small for a lot of the creeps (the proxies, natalie, jack, nina). candy, candles, lighters, watches, pocket knives, etc

tim might give cards but like... he'd only get brian and maybe toby a real gift, again something like cologne or whatever 'manly' shit LOL. gloves etc

toby would try to get something bigger for his friends. he's petty so he'd get tim something like socks. but he'd steal makeup for nina, a bike he would fix up and paint for natalie, CDs and tapes and stuff for jack, hoodies and hats for Kate. he'd buy brian a gag shirt every goddamn year. something with a stupid quote or ugly photo. every. year. brian eats it up everytime. also gets ben gag gifts, but really cheap ones cuz he..doesnt really use anything... but he likes to laugh

kate doesn't get anyone anything, but she like. cries really easily when she receives something. not like bawling 'OMG THANK U' but like she sniffles and has to walk away (if they don't hug her first) and then come back to say thanks. toby thinks its hilarious so he'd never leave her out even if she doesn't get him something

jack would have to ask nina and natalie if he could use their address to order gifts from amazon with his dark web money..... natalie is a safer bet, but he doesnt trust her not to open her and toby's gift, so he sends that to nina, then ninas gift to natalie, and its kind of a pain in the ass. but he's hella awkward and just outright is like 'can you guys just tell me what you want' so he'll get them exactly what they ask for. even if its kind of expensive. he makes plenty of money ...

natalie only buys stuff for toby, nina, and jack. but she'll get cards for jeff, ben, and kate. she spends a lot of time in thrift stores to get toby and nina stuff specifically for their style and size, and would even learn to do basic tailoring (like hemming) for it. she'd also paint something for/with nina, but she'd feel awkward doing it for toby. she'd get jack candles and pillows and like.. stuff to make his cabin feel/smell nice. since he can't really see it. ALSO AUDIO BOOKS FOR HIM.

nina goes all out. she's broke as fuck during november/december cuz of it. she's buying expensive jewelry, perfume/cologne, hoodies, shoes, consoles. she was fucking SPOILED growing up by her dad, and loves giving it back. one year she'd be dramatic as fuck and buy a whole ass console for kate and toby at the cabin. then realize toby and kate now wont text her back cuz theyre fucking gaming. LMFAOOOO . she'd make a ton of kandi and paint shirts and write letters and stuff.

liu would buy nina something nice, flowers and earrings and hair products and stuff. he'd mail jane+mary a card and chocolates, visit his parents graves and go see some cousins/aunts/grandparents for the holidays. he'd be out of state for the holidays, every time. he can't stand to spend the holidays alone

jane goes all out with her family too. she spends christmas eve with her family(and brings mary), aka her grandparents and aunts/uncles. she spends christmas day with mary's family. she would send liu a card back out of respect. she'd also spoil sally. sally is completely content spending christmas alone while jane goes to mary's family, but jane sets up netflix and toys and dresses and stuff for her.

sally lives with jane/mary fulltime, but she refuses to go anywhere other than the forest and jane's house. she'll draw cards for jane and mary every year and help them decorate. jane is grateful for sally, since she doesn't know if she'd have it in her to decorate without a child's joy motivating her

jeff doesnt do shit. he gets kinda depressed and hangs out with ben. might snag a card and some chocolates for natalie, MAYBE. if he's still "with" nina, he'll steal random stuff for her but not take into account her actual tastes. but him and ben just sit around and game while jeff smokes and eats hella . LOL

ann, lulu, sadie, and dina don't celebrate at all. again, they're stuck in timeloops or constant hazes, or have legitimately no interest in the holiday

extra random stuff:

nina forces kate, toby, and natalie into ice skating every year. photo booths, driving to see christmas lights.

toby tries forcing everyone to go over to jack's cabin ..cuz he doesn't wanna invite them to his LMFAOOOO. he says it's nina and brian's idea, but he's the one who sets the date and texts invites. him, jack, and natalie put together some dinner and everyone just kinda hangs out and eats.

nina decorates the fuck out of her apartment and goes to toby's cabin to put up some stuff. she hangs mistle toe and literally nobody listens to the 'rule' but she's always like "omg...kateeee...you and i just so happen to be under the mistle toe... >.<... what now..?" LMFAOOO

anyway merry christmas and happy holidays guys :) have a good day luv u

[totallynuwonhere]

2nd Gen Shawpack Pookies

I’ve had them in my notes for AGES and I’ve still yet to finish a design, but i do intend on creating little skits of them cuz of how much I’ve invested giving them all personalities and pinterest boards. (If this isn’t me exhibiting my deep love for the Redactedverse idk what is)

Some descriptions are longer than the others, I’ve obviously put more thought into certain characters

•Shaw Twins

- both children are sadly ungifted in the kitchen, despite the fact that David has made them his little helpers when since they were little. Multiple flames have been put out because of them.

-Both do share a love for nature like their father.

Gabriella Shaw (Gabby)🫶🏻

- Angel carbon copy with a dash of Gabriel’s silliness and courage, which always made David smile.

- Natural born Leader. Despite being the eldest child (4 fucking minutes) David has never burdened them with the responsibility or thought of inheriting the business. She stepped into the leadership role on her own, with more brighter approach, personality wise.

- Rollerskates, Angel started taking her to roller rinks since age 6 and she loves taking Lyss and KC with her

Callum Grey Shaw 🌱

-Yes he’s named after the sweet Caelum. David wanted to commemorate his childhood friend.

- Inherited David’s resting bitch face, if you point it out he’ll even growl like he does.

- Great Observer. Because his sister was the more outgoing one of them, he was always the listener, making him more emotionally aware, noticing things most people miss.

- Loves sitcoms. He’s probably watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine so many times he can name episodes in order. This also translates his love for the security company his dad runs. Always begging David to take him to work with him. (I think we know who inherits the company)

•Talbot Troop

-Asher is the only one I picture having multiple kids with a range of age gaps.

-No doubt the most outgoing ones of the pack.

August Talbot (Auggie) 🍕

- Foodie

- Life of the party, stealin’ hearts with his million watt smile

- DDR is his sport

Kelcee Talbot (KC/CeeCee) 🧠

- Designated driver of the group

- Straight A student. When she was young she’d share all the interesting facts she’d pick up on to her parents and it always astounded Asher, how she can command a room, especially being the SOMEWHAT, mellow one among the three.

Oliver James Talbot (OJ/Ollie) 🪲

- Very inquisitive

- Youngest of the pack (the only 7yr old in a group of 17 year olds)

- Has a special bond with Alyssa

•Greer Icon

Alyssa Marie Greer 💥

-Now while i think of Milo and SW as the D.I.N.K (dual income, no kids) couple, and i will somewhat always think that, but— this name crossed my head and I just cannot let it go. IT HONORS MARIE OK—

-Unsurprisingly is always the best dressed. Milo is very proud.

-Has a very ‘takes no bull personality’ making them the most intimidating out of group.

- Plays archery competitively

- Straightforward

-Weirdly great with babies, explains her close bond with Oliver

•Collins

Sean Riley Collins 🥐

- aka Peace Officer Collins

- The code name speaks for itself, he is very much like his old man when it comes to ensuring his friends don’t do anything stupid, and in the very common occasions they do, he of course serves them with a patented Collins lecture.

- He may be half vamp, but that doesn’t mean he has to have a mundane food pallet, this man can COOK and bake, a soft, crispy shelled sourdough being one of his specialties

•Solaire

Hugo Solaire 🎭

- theater kid

- sarcastic, confident, somewhat frivolous, despite his royal status, which gets him in trouble for

- May or may not have a thing for the alpha’s daughter.

- Like Vincent, he’s mostly only close to the Collins’ but has occasionally hanged out with the shaw pack.

[benewol]

beat the shit out of them [Vin Jin x Reader]

this work is heavily influenced by @wannaeatramyeon 's works, especially her unhinged reader fic featuring vin!! no warnings, reader can also be considered genderneutral as far as im concerned just a bunch of cussing tbh. hope you enjoy :))

"Vin Jin."

...

"Hey, Vin Jin."

...

"I'm fucking talking to you!"

The next thing he feels is a harsh smack on the back of his head as he quickly catches himself before the chair can tip over.

"The fuck do you want?! Fucking crazy ass bitch," he rubs the now throbbing, sore spot you gave him, face scrunching up as usual.

Dramatic motherfucker.

"If you didn't tint your glasses over so much you wouldn't be getting smacked. You would've seen me preparing to swing, too," you smirk in retaliation, your arms moving from their crossed position to resting next to your sides while you're leaning against his table.

He merely sends you what you think is probably supposed to be a nasty glare and re-positions his legs on that same table, nudging your back with his polished sneakers.

So you continue talking.

"Mary's been trying to gesture for you to leave the classroom without making a commotion, you know."

"Okay, and?"

"Your bff needs you and that's all you can say? Really?" You roll your eyes.

"Can't be so important if it only took you to solve it."

"Fuck off."

"Lol, you first."

"Sure. Tell me why you keep tinting your glasses and I will."

His eyes furrow inquisitively.

"I don't need to do shit. Class is starting soon so you need to move your fat ass soon anyway, might as well do it immediately," his smug smile one of those you'd love to fill with a pile of some of his ridiculous sheets of lyrics crumpled up.

That's a good idea. You're adding that to your list titled 'what would piss vincent the fuck off'.

"Your sense of time is, unsurprisingly, tremendously shit. We have another half an hour left, you moron," you reach out your hand to flick his wide forehead, which he now sees coming and dodges, catching himself before falling yet again.

What a fucking loser, you shake your head and keep yourself from succumbing to laughter.

"Whatever. I'm not showing you shit."

"Come on. I'm sure whatever it is you're blowing it out of proportion," you reach out again to touch his glasses.

He reaches out too. To stop your hand from moving towards his sunglasses. And his grip is not as harsh as you'd expected it to be.

"Stop it. If you see it, I'll have to kill you."

"See what? You're being so ominous. Do you have weird rectangular pupils like goats or what?"

He sputters for a moment.

"That'd be funny."

"The fuck?"

"You could come up with a line like 'my eyes are like those of a goat, yeah, I'm the GOAT'," you press your lips together to stop the laughter from spilling out of your mouth.

That line was good.

He won't tell you that, though, because you were way too close to uncovering the truth.

He huffs, turning his head away from you and crossing his arms in front of his chest.

What he doesn't know is that his oh-so-clever self forgot to re-tint his glasses.

This in turn means the sun's rays hit his lenses so nicely you were able to catch a tiny glimpse of his two grey irises and the resulting pupils in his left eye.

Your breath catches in your throat.

A soft gasp makes his head turn back to you, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

"What's that? Pulling a stupid line like that and immediately growing quiet?" He mumbles to mask his alarm.

You hum, and he notices your solemn expression, making him grow apprehensive.

"Weren't you Cheonliang's number one?"

"Still am."

"And Allied's number two?"

"Yeah."

"How come you don't just lose the shades and simply beat the shit out of anyone who comments on your eyes, then?"

He stares at you. Still occasionally having rubbed the wound you'd inflicted on the back of his head, he loosens his arms which were crossed behind it.

Placing them on his thighs, he balls his fists.

"Shut up."

He abruptly stands up and moves towards the door, shaking the table you were leaning against, making you furrow your brows in irritation.

Typical.

At least you'll know where to find him.

If things don't go his way, he'll just lock himself in the boys' bathroom and listen to one of Duke's albums.

You don't intend letting him flee the scene this time, though.

"Don't you dare run away now."

He doesn't know why, but he halts in his steps.

"Or else what, pipsqueak?"

He turns back towards you.

"Your eye adds to your nonexistent charm."

...

"Hello?"

...

"Earth to Vincent?" You wave your hand in front of his shielded eyes.

Turning on his heel, he doesn't leave without wanting to have the last word.

"Fucking weirdo, I don't need your pity."

"Asshole, I'm not pitying you!!"

What you fail to see is the faintest of rose-coloured blushes on Vin's cheeks as he puckers his lips, absentmindedly scratching at his lenses while sauntering down the hallway.

[pineappleciders]

Could you do omori x reader thats rich and spoils them with gifts and trips and stuff? 💛Thanks

A/N: i already did this with aubrey but i'm gonna redo her part cuz it was awhile ago

RW OMORI characters with a rich S/O who spoils them

includes: SUNNY, AUBREY, KEL, HERO, MARI, and BASIL

SUNNY

SUNNY hates it

not because he doesn't like gifts or money or anything, but he truly thinks he doesn't deserve it. you can spoil anyone in the world, why him?

he'll get flustered and look away mumbling "thanks" if you hand him a gift

concerned as to why you can just. blow money on him

he'll accept these things, because he doesn't want to be rude, but it's still awfully embarrassing . he has no idea how he scored someone like you

he wants to scream into his pillow whenever u show up to his house with his favorite drink/food

tries to go all out and hand-make you gifts for your birthday and such but he feels bad since it can never out-do your gifts

he's kinda scared you're gonna betray him and you're trying to get on his good side or something, so it helps if u reassure him you just love him a whole lot

AUBREY

she doesn't get it, why would you do something like that for lil old her??

but she cherishes everything you do for her to the fullest extent.

she spends a lot of time at ur house and has lots of sleepovers with u to get away from her own home life

she rlly thinks she doesn't deserve you. like at all

tries to take you places and pay for your meal but she can't do it all the time, so she makes the most out of every date and trip

gets embarrassed if u show up with a gift and just hugs you until she isn't flushed anymore,, she can't have you seeing her face!!

she doesn't have a lot of money so she really appreciates everything u get her, especially food

gobbles on any food u get her or dinner u buy,, she isn't passing free food up!!

KEL

"oh! for me?? are you sure??"

he'll be awfully confused every time you randomly show up with something he's been wanting

if you buy him food or take him to GINO's a lot he'll try to cut down his order to make you pay less but gobbles it all up

gets embarrassed if u ask him if he wants anything else,,, like stop !! spending!!! money!! on! me!!!!

"haha, no, i don't wanna make you pay more... wait, where are you going?!"

he tries to tell u not to get him anything but he is a big growing boy that needs his nutrients. he gobbles up whatever you buy so you know none of it went to waste

he accepts your offers and gifts gladly, but not without hesitation!! he hates being a bother

"hah, i'm supposed to be paying for your meal.." lowkey damages his masculinity

HERO

he's also confused. why are you buying him all of this?? cookbooks??? new, fancy silverware??? paying his dogs medical bills??? what the fuck

he's actually kinda skeptical about it at first,, like what if you're breaking up w him?? are you trying to soften him up so you can backstab him?????

but he realizes that's stupid and awkwardly accepts anything u do/give him. he gets all blushy about it and starts stuttering though

he spoils you back. to an extent because your family is richer n all that, but he still tries to spoil you by getting you gifts and flowers and chocolates and stuff you like/need

it's weird to him because he's usually the spoiler/gentleman in the relationship,, so he's lowkey swept off his feet

he would've done that for you anyway, but now he has to do it extra so it isn't unfair!!! he feels like he's taking advantage of you or something

MARI

she always denies everything u do/get for her,, but she'll eventually accept it and kiss you on the cheek as a thanks

like SUNNY she doesn't think she deserves that kind of treatment,, you shouldn't be wasting your money so fast like that!!

she does love the romantic aspect,, like if you went on a trip together all alone and romantic,, or if you show up to her house with flowers and chocolates and... is that a diamond ring?

it gets her all blushy but she tries to hide it by being devious and teasing u,, then she goes home and goes crazy over you in her room

"oh? is this for me?? why, if i didn't know better i'd say you're in love!"

teases to cover up the fact that she's embarrassed as fuck

BASIL

he's constantly telling you not to spend any money on him

he tries to spoil you back by giving you home-planted flowers and drawings and pictures, but he never feels like it's enough

"really, you shouldn't be spending this much money.."

makes him super flushed if u show up with something he said he wanted,, he didn't mean for you to actually go out and buy it!!!

always insists that he pays for dinner. always

gives u lots of hand crafted things and drawings,, he really hopes you think it's the thought that counts

cherishes everything u give him,, new garden shears? he's going to use these the rest of his life

if u two go on a trip he takes lots of photos of you and the scenery, and has an entire album dedicated to you

[seireitonin]

Some Jane hcs?

🖤Yes :3 luv her 🖤 (will be going off Jane R, the canon one not Jane A. I love the lesbian representation Jane R is! :) Also some of these are gonna be canon)

Jane was a woman with a normal life

The two suburban parents, normal school life, normal love life

Just normal and happy

Her and Mary met in high school

Mary was a cheerleader and Jane being her best friend at the time watched and supported her

Jane didn’t realize she was a lesbian till she saw Mary with a boyfriend in high school and got extremely jealous and didn’t understand why

And Jane never liked a boy before but she knew she felt something for Mary

When Mary and her boyfriend broke up Jane and her cuddled as Jane comforted her and they shared their first kiss

They stayed together ever since then

Even though it was the 90s/ 2000s when they started dating most people accepted them

Jane’s parents included

They got married as soon as they were able to

Jane’s normal life continued with Mary until her parents were killed by an at the time 19 year old Jeff

Jane was absolutely devastated and wracked with grief

She stayed in bed not moving for months

Some days she just cried and screamed and nothing else

She also got paranoid

What if he tried to hurt Mary next?

How could Jane let that happen?

She couldn’t

So she did research on Jeff like crazy

It was really unhealthy

Also took self defense classes and made Mary take some too

But with all Jane read about this guy, she knew that still wouldn’t be enough

She wanted to avenge her parents, the police were useless in helping

She wanted to protect Mary, Jane can’t bare to loose the love of her life

So what’s the answer to those problems?

Take a risky government observed and produced experimental drug called Liquid Hate of course!

She went into the facility blank faced, telling them they could experiment on her

Inject her with as much as they needed

Make her stronger and she would do anything for them

She was willing to throw away her old life completely for revenge

Jane didn’t care. In her mind any chance she had at a “normal life” died with her parents

She would be too afraid, too full of grief and pain and paranoia to live a normal life and move on

So she would become a weapon to protect the one person that matters to her. Mary.

It’s all she could do

And that’s exactly what happened

Her transformation was slow and painful

Pre transition she had dark hazel eyes and really dark brown hair

Now she has all black eyes and lips, pale skin and black hair

When she was injected with it it’s like all her anger came out full force for 2 minutes and she lost all control of herself

She destroyed everything in the room, lashed out at the scientists, injuring a lot of them

They had to sedate her and strap her down

When she came to, she apologized and is more or less acts like her normal self

She looked in the mirror

Her old life was truly gone

They told Jane all about her new powers which include

Enhanced strength and speed, vocal mimicking, shape shifting, healing, regeneration and regeneration of limbs, drug and alcohol tolerance and almost infinite stamina (this is canon btw)

Jane was now an assassin for the CIA and FBIs Justice Department (also canon)

And she didn’t even tell Mary

Jane went home and Mary screamed until Jane calmed her down

“Mary, it’s me! I-“

“What the fuck did you do?!”

“What I had to do to keep you safe.”

“And that is?!”

Jane explained everything

“What…how…you…”

“I know it’s jarring okay? But it’s still…me. I understand if you can’t love me because I look like this. I understand if you want to go. But just know I truly did do this for you and for myself. I have to protect you and avenge my parents.”

“You are so impulsive and stupid! But you’re still as beautiful as ever. You know I’m never going anywhere.”

They shared a kiss in the kitchen

Jane was so lucky to have Mary

Jane takes out any criminal asked of her and ones not asked of her too

Rapists, serial killers, p3d0s, abusers

Anyone that society doesn’t need

But her ultimate goal is to kill the man that killed her parents

Jeff the killer

She won’t stop until that happens

Jane doesn’t kill or hurt innocent people

She wouldn’t dream of it

Why be like the man she hates?

Jane’s actually really nice despite everything

She can be very sarcastic and snarky too though but can you blame her?

She’s still violent towards criminals though

Like extremely violent

They remind her of Jeff and she calls it “practice” for when she finally gets her hands on him

His death will be slow and painful

Jane has a sister and other surviving family members that she hasn’t seen in a while (how could she even begin to explain her life now)

Jane is 38 years old

Born September 1st 1985

Jane is Wasian (white and Asian, Japanese specifically) but looks more Japanese

She kinda looks like a type of vengeful Japanese spirit called the Onryō and has come to like it

people think she is one sometimes

Especially when she makes weird ass noises to freak out her victims/ mess with them

Jane really relates to Onryō due to the stuff that happened in her life

Her mother would often tell her stories about the Onryō especially around Halloween

Jane finds it ironic that she kinda looks like one with her pale skin, tall stature and long black hair

Especially when she wears white since Onryō are often depicted in white burial kimonos

She especially feels like one when she comes out of the darkness, quietly and slowly as if she’s floating her black eyes looking at her victim through the dark

She specifically relates to some parts of the story of Lady Owia. A man ruining Jane’s life, “killing” her old self and the life she knew, making her a vengeful person and leaving her “disfigured” and looking like an Onryō

Sometimes she still gets upset and will scream and cry at night in the middle of nowhere, making her look and sound like a spirit in pain

Despite the fact she’s still alive she sometimes feels like she died with her parents

Maybe she is just an Onryō in a humans body

She can speak fluent Japanese thanks to her mom

Jane understands Kagekao fully

Both of them being gay Japanese people who have pale skin and are good fighters is really coincidental

Kagekao thought Jane was a spirit or something supernatural due to the grief and vengeance coming off her

But to his disappointment she’s just a cool looking human

Jane really doesn’t like him

He’s a serial killer who kills people for shits and giggles like Jeff and she can’t stand that

Jane knows he’s a demon because he told her and Kagekao thought Jane wouldn’t understand him

They both also have voice mimicking powers and they use it against each other all the time

Jane is jealous of his parkour skills though, she wants to get better at it

When Jane is in a violent mood or in a fight black veins will appear all over her body, but it’s most noticeable oh her face and especially on her temples and forehead leading into her eyes as the veins pump and bulge with blood. Very unsettling to look at.

Jane is usually 5’10 but if she wants to look more intimidating in a fight she will make herself taller like 6’3-6’5

Jane is romantic/ trad goth and listens to the music since she was born in the 80s and grew up in the 90s it’s nostalgic for her

Jane wears black everyday because she thinks all other colors look bad on her

She wears white to sleep though

Jane’s eyes are pitch black so you have no idea where she’s looking or what she’s looking at

It’s kinda scary when she looks at you especially if it’s dark

But she’s pretty so it’s okay

Loves Japanese comfort foods and will cook them a lot like really good ramen, mochi ice cream, udon, kastu curry, tempura and hot pot

It reminds her of her mom

Jane’s kinda happy that she has long shiny black hair like her mom now

If you were ever gonna run into a Creepypasta and live, Jane’s definitely your best bet

Likes to shapeshift to look normal to take Mary on dates

Wears black dresses when she’s not fighting but when she is, jeans and a sweater all black of course

Sounds like Amy Lee from Evanescence when she sings

A smooth soothing voice when she talks

Lived with Mary in their home till she got roped in with all the other pastas (but that’s a completely different hc list completely)

Since Jane works for the government she’s rich. Like really rich

So she’s always clean and put together

Can walk in heels like a pro

Jane’s a queen and I love her

This isn’t proofread I made this at 3 am sorry lol

[fabricated-misslieness]

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ellie williams x male reader (platonic) jesse x male reader

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: ellie comes back to town for resupply and catches up with an old friend

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 781

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: swearing, angst, post character death, post Seattle, awkward, very awkward, angst with a hopeful ending, ellie's pov, somewhat vague as to whether it's post santa barbara

ᴍᴀʏʙ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛᴇ: inspo. don't ask me why both tlou fics have ellie pov

☾⋆☆⋆☽

There he is. Jesse's boyfriend.

It's rude to think of him as just Jesse's boyfriend. He was his own person, after all; but Ellie has reason. She knew Jesse better than him, after all. Jesse was one of her best friends, despite being the main reason she couldn't act on her long-time crush for a good while.

He was admirable, a young patrol-leader, courageous and smart. Most of all, he was loyal. He even followed her to Seattle.

Oh, fucking Seattle.

He looks like him, in a way. Ellie doesn't want to be rude, but their hair...it's the same. It's coarse and greasy, but so is everyone else's. Commercial shampoo isn't a thing twenty years after the collapse of the world and "major capitalism" anyway, but that's not the point.

He does look different. His eyes, his nose, his face is different, his own. But his hair.

It's shorter down the sides, obviously to keep it out of the way, and yet pieces still remain in front, perhaps a fashion statement, a rare sight when survival calls for practicality; perhaps, instead, a simple inevitability. The back remains long, down, unlike Jesse's, past his shoulders, Ellie recalls he used to wear it up more often than down. Before he and Jesse got together, he wore it in neat braids. Afterward, they got messy—maybe tugging from heated sessions, maybe, more probably, Jesse tried braiding it for him.

"Your hair." Ellie finds herself saying, interrupting your words. She wasn't paying attention, it was rude of her, but she can't see anything else.

"My hair?" You look confused, taking a piece in your hand, but then, oh, your hair. "I haven't had time, since..."

Since Seattle, Ellie thinks, but Seattle isn't Seattle to you, it's Jesse's death.

"Right." Ellie leans back, to stand on her heels. Right.

"I've had to, you know, take over patrol organization a bit, plus, um, new duties, yeah?"

"Yeah." She says, again another short response.

Yeah. Jesse handled a lot of patrol organization, alongside Mary, who now has to help Tommy around because of his knee and all, meaning she needs more people to help her; and also Tommy's knee means he can't go on patrol anymore and...it's just such a mess. And since Ellie left too? And Dina's busy with JJ? Three—four people that can't patrol anymore.

I'm sorry, she thinks to say, but she can't.

"You put it up for patrols?" She asks. It's a stupid question, the answer is an obvious yes.

"Yea–" It's a short response, too, awkward. "I meant, I, uh, don't have the time to braid."

She knows it's not true. She knows you at least have time in the mornings, but then maybe you just don't because it reminds you of him. The way his hands felt in your hair, clumsy, sometimes the braids are too tight and awfully angled, or sometimes they're too loose, but it's Jesse, so who cares?

I'm sorry, is yet again on her tongue, but she can't.

"How's–" What was she going to say? What were you saying, before she'd mentioned your hair? Fuck, she doesn't know.

You speak up abruptly, eyes flitting down, then up, "It looks like his, doesn't it?"

"Yeah." She agrees. Just that. What else is there to say? Well, there is... "I'm sorry."

"I know, Ellie." You say. It's simple.

She said it to you once, at the funeral; again, at the wake. A third time last time she came by, a fourth the time after. This might be the fifth, but she can't account for times she's been drunk, or whatever the fuck she was dealing with fresh off the horse from Seattle.

"I–" She wishes to say it again, anyway. She wishes to say more. Jesse loved you. Jesse wouldn't want you to be sad. Jesse...

"I know." You know, of course, she's already told you all of that, you don't even need her to speak her mind to know it. "Listen, I have to..." You gesture vaguely that-a-way.

"Right. Yeah." Ellie nods her head, bounces back on the balls of her feet and backs off.

"I'll see you next time?" You offer, your hands meeting together, intertwining, fingers breaking then holding again; a teeter, a restless thing. Nervous, no, awkward.

"Yeah." Ellie nods her head.

You're off.

But she speaks again, stopping you. "Hey, um!" She clears her throat, her sudden impulsive thought catching up to her, but you've already turned around, and she must finish. "I'll braid your hair? Next time?"

You smile, huff out a breath through your nose, maybe it's amusement, pity towards Ellie's attempt at what, making up? Or maybe it's appreciation. "Yeah. Yeah, sure."

[aurumacadicus]

Yes TikTok is rotting my brain again. For background purposes, Steve is Peter’s biological father, he came out of the ice way earlier and SHIELD couldn’t catch him after he ran off so he was Nomad for like... twenty years. And during those years he does fuck around. Lo and behold, Mary Parker is one of his one night stands. He only learns about it once he goes back to SHIELD and finds out that they eventually caught up with him but decided it was best to just observe rather than try to bring him in when he didn’t want to be. He decides it’s safer for Peter to stay with his Uncle Ben and Aunt May. Only when Ben dies does he reluctantly step in. Luckily, Peter is very forgiving and loves his dad even though they both know he’d much rather have his Uncle Ben still around.

Also Steve thinks pranks are funny as long as they’re the “confuse, don’t abuse” type. He thinks the abusive pranks of today are absolutely heinous.

--

“Mr. Stark, you know what would be so funny?” Peter asked, sitting at the kitchen counter.

“Tony,” Tony said, then sighed, setting his coffee cup down and tipping his head back. “I’m scared. This sounds like a trick.”

Peter began kicking his feet back and forth. “It’s nothing to be scared of. Just a TikTok prank.”

Tony sighed again and turned to face him, raising an eyebrow. “You know how your dad feels about TikTok. And pranks. And TikTok pranks.”

“It’s not anything bad,” Peter rushed to assure him. “It’s actually really sweet!”

Tony remained skeptical, picking his cup back up and taking a long, slow sip of coffee. Finally, he lowered his mug and asked, “Okay. I suppose I’ll let you tell me what the prank is before I shoot you down.”

“It’s only fair,” Peter agreed, placing his feet on the stool again. “So, basically, it’s to see how dads react when kids are rude to their moms.”

Tony blinked at him slowly, then carefully said, “If you think I’m going to let you sass Aunt May--”

“No!” Peter yelped, horrified. “Do you think I’m crazy? Steve wouldn’t have to do anything because Aunt May will kill me!”

Tony blinked again. “...Then I’m not entirely sure where this is going.”

Peter beamed at him, horror forgotten now that he knew that he and Tony were on the same page about sassing May. “I was thinking I could sass you!”

“Peter,” Tony sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

“No, you see, it’s perfect! Low stakes,” Peter explained, enthused. “You and Steve are basically married--”

“What,” Tony said.

Peter plowed over him. “And as soon as you realized I was a package deal with Steve, you really stepped up to make me feel welcome without spoiling me, too. Or, well,” he added, squinting. “You do spoil me, but not like in a way that makes me feel icky or turned me into an entitled brat.”

“Huh,” Tony tried again.

“Anyway!” Peter continued, ignoring him. “I just think it would be funny to see Steve’s reaction if I gave you attitude and told you to shut up after you asked me to do something. He gets super protective of you at the weirdest times. Besides, it’s been getting a little chummy around here and as a teenage boy I thrive on chaos.”

Tony tilted his head to squint at him skeptically. “I don’t think you have the emotional constitution to tell me to shut up with attitude.”

“It’ll be the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do,” Peter told him solemnly.

“I think this is a terrible idea,” Tony began.

“That’s not a no, I’ll get everything set up,” Peter said quickly, then bolted from the kitchen.

Tony stared after him, mouth still dropped open in shock.

.-.

Tony still thought this was a supremely bad idea, because he knew Steve’s opinions on TikTok pranks (and TikTok. And pranks in general.) and it just felt like he was going to be yelled at for being a co-conspirator. But! Peter had been right. Tony liked to spoil him. And apparently that included being a con-conspirator in a stupid TikTok prank that would probably backfire anyway because while the team joked about him and Steve being Team Mom and Dad (and even then, who was Mom and who was Dad depended on who was most apoplectic).

Tony sat down beside Steve, handing him a can of coke as he settled in with his Stark Pad. “Here you go.”

“Thanks, Tony,” Steve said, cracking it open without looking up from the baseball game. It must have been the Dodgers, Tony figured. Steve was still bitter about them moving to LA, but he was also nostalgic for the old days, so sometimes he’d overlook it.

Peter poked his head into the living room. “I’m headed over to Ned’s to work on our physics project! Bye Steve! Bye Tony!”

Tony sat up a little. “Oh, wait, Peter, did you get your model from the lab?”

Peter sighed and rolled his eyes. “I’ll get it later.”

Tony noticed Steve carefully going very, very stiff beside him and chose to ignore it. “I need you to grab it before you leave. I’m doing a project that requires no clutter.”

“Sure, when I get back,” Peter huffed, heading toward the elevator.

“I need you to do it before you leave,” Tony called after him. “Otherwise I won’t be able to start--”

“God, okay, shut up!” Peter sighed loudly.

Tony opened his mouth to continue, but was cut off by Steve slamming his soda on the coffee table and surging to his feet with a snarled, “What the fuck did you just say?” He stared up at Steve, mouth continuing to hang open in shock.

Peter turned to face him, apparently just as surprised. “Uh...”

“No, you were real confident saying when you thought it was just Tony answering,” Steve said, taking a step toward him. “Say it again.”

Peter was quiet for a moment, considering, before finally, with bravado only a teenager could have, he said, “Shut up.”

“Okay,” Steve answered, voice shockingly calm, and then took a very deliberate step forward.

“It’s a prank it’s a prank it’s a prank!” Tony yelped, throwing himself off the couch to wrap his arms around Steve’s waist and stop him. “Stop Steve it’s a prank you cannot commit murder I will not be cleaning blood out of this carpet again!”

Steve swiveled his blank stare to him. “What do you mean a prank?”

Tony chewed on the inside of his cheek, considering whether he wanted to draw Steve’s ire onto himself in the face of his blank expression. “I did object,” he tried weakly.

Peter appeared between them, planting himself in front of Tony protectively. “He did! He’s just a pushover when it comes to me because I’m your kid. So! This is really your fault.”

Steve’s mouth dropped open, but luckily the blank stare turned to an outraged glare. “What did you just say?!”

“Okay let’s go,” Tony said hastily, grabbing Peter’s shoulders and steering him toward the elevator. He heard Steve move and started shoving him instead. “Peter he’s coming hurry up oh my god.”

“I’LL TELL AUNT MAY YOU TRIED TO KILL ME!” Peter shouted defensively over his shoulder.

“I’LL TELL AUNT MAY YOU DESERVED IT!” Steve bellowed back.

Peter swerved around Tony so he could meet Steve face to face. Tony threw his hands up and just left.