#but i also think he looks like a cool old professor

[dandunn]

Okay so what if.... Watership Down but furry.

Stop don’t leave LISTEN TO ME DAMMIT

[northlt03]

Amortentia (Jegulus)

Regulus didn’t smell. It drove James insane sometimes. 

He didn’t smell after quidditch practice, or even after just waking up. It was another one of those things about him that made him seem “perfect”. James hated it. 

Regulus was so much more than the image he presented himself to be, but he’d gotten too lost in playing the part, maybe that’s all he’d become. 

Every single “imperfection” had been driven away by his mother. Not just for Regulus, but for Sirius as well. The Black family had an image to maintain, high society they had to live in. They couldn’t accept body odor, crooked teeth, or any blemishes on their skin. 

James didn’t know how they did it. But none of the Blacks had any negative body odor. No matter how much they sweat. 

It’s not to say they don’t have a particular smell. According to Slughorn, everyone had a distinct smell, something unique about them. 

Sirius smelled like wet dog fur, James knew this because he slept in the bed next to him and every night Sirius turned to padfoot in his sleep. 

Narcissa smelled like spring, like her namesake— narcissus. Strangely intense, yet cool and floral. James had only placed the smell last year when they had grown the flower in herbology. 

Walburga black smelled like roses, James imagined that’s what the queen of hearts from Alice in Wonderland smelled like. It was suffocating if you had the displeasure to be near her, like a thousand thorny plants squeezing your windpipe. 

James wasn’t padfoot, he didn’t memorize smells. But it’s hard not to notice how his closest friends smell. It made him feel warm, to be surrounded by so many people he loves, all with a distinct smell. 

Remus smelled like chocolate, like wet fur, wooly sweaters, a warm fire and old books. James could tell that’s what Sirius was smelling in his cauldron right then. That’s the reason he was thinking so much about smells in the first place. 

Sixth year brought with it responsibilities, but also more advanced potion making. James always wondered why he didn’t drop potions when he had the chance. 

Sirius was blushing so hard, his skin tone matched the pink potion. James had to stifle his own laughter as Remus tried to go over the recipe once again to make sure they had made it correct. They were all paired up for this particular class. Sirius and Remus at one cauldron and James and Peter next to them. It used to be Sirius and James together, but after one too many pranks in the classroom, Professor Slughorn had separated them. 

“Clockwise!” Remus corrected Sirius just before he could have ruined their potion. They were the second ones to finish their potion so Slughorn was already making his way towards the boys. “Bloody hell, Sirius. Stop overmixing it”

James exchanged a look with Peter. Why had he let Sirius pick Remus while pairing up again? Oh that’s right— Wingman duties

James was nowhere near as great as Lily or Remus or even Snivellus in potion making, but he managed. Mostly he used Remus’ notes and applied common sense. It drove Remus insane sometimes, how much work he’d have to put in to memorize something, only for James to make an educated guess about it. James couldn’t really explain how he knew stuff, he just did. Call it pattern awareness, or whatever. 

“So from the way Moony was yelling at Padfoot, I’m guessing we have to stir it clockwise?” James raised an eyebrow.

Peter only snickered as he watched their other two friends bickering like an old married couple. “What’d you think Moony smells, James?”

“Wet dog” James replied easily, “And that awful old leather jacket Padfoot refuses to throw away,”

“I bet Sirius smells chocolate and wool” 

James had known Peter for years, they'd had baths together when they were babies, learned how to ride a bicycle from James’ father, spent ten christmases trying to make gingerbread houses and so many more memories. 

That’s all to say, James knew what Peter smelled like. He had a distinct cologne he swore worked wonders on the ladies, and as stereotypical as it was for the rat to love cheese, he really did. 

So if James was in love with his best mate, that’s what he would have smelled. 

But instead when he dared to take a whiff of the potion (after coughing violently because it was pretty strong), all he smelled was broom wax, old books and paint. 

“Mmmhmm” Peter grinned, “Camembert, and candy. Smells so great I’m hungry now. And you?”

“Old books” He frowned, “And paint”

“Careful, Pads might think you’re in love with Moony too��

James wasn’t sure what he was expecting. He was glad he didn’t smell lilies, relating to his old embarrassing crush. It had been months since he had obsessed over Lily Evans and even thinking about that time made him cringe. 

James had quickly realized he had no idea what love was supposed to be. He grew up watching his parents so immensely in love he’d been in love with the idea of love and the idea of Lily Evans. And ideas are dangerous things to be in love with. 

For his sake and Lily’s, he was glad he stopped liking her. 

But after Lily… well, there had been someone James had grown a liking too. And he couldn’t help the disappointment when he didn’t smell Regulus in the potion. He took a few more whiffs, just to be sure. But to no avail. The potion still smelled the same. 

James wasn’t sure why it bothered him so much. Maybe he was just incapable of loving. Because he couldn’t smell Regulus, that had to mean he wasn’t in love with the boy as he had previously thought. This was clearly a Lily situation again. And that bothered James. Mainly because he wanted to be in love. Not just because of his fantasy of being so in love with someone, but also because Regulus was so lovely. 

He was witty and sharp, beautiful and sarcastic, knowledgeable and petty, headstrong and stubborn but also sweet and funny. He seemed to positively glow under James’ praise. James loved it when he flushed pink, James loved it when he shot back a retort, when he smiled a secret smile for only James, when he dragged his long fingers over James’ skin— touch for the sake of touch. James loved every single thing about Regulus, the way his eyes crinkled when he tried to stop himself from laughing at one of James’ bad jokes, the way he sneezed, the way his lips parted, the way he tasted so sweet when they kissed, but most of all, James thought he was in love with Regulus.

He wasn’t sure what smell he was searching for. He knew Regulus didn’t smell. He didn’t have a signature smell like Peter’s cologne. But James was still disappointed. 

He wanted to make Regulus feel loved, he wanted to be in love. He had said it once and Regulus had said it before. 

Three simple words. 

And what if they were a lie?

A knock on the door made Slughorn change directions. He had been heading toward James and Peter’s potion to check it, but he walked toward the open door. 

James would have recognised those curls anywhere. 

Even before Regulus was fully visible, stepping into the doorway, eyes searching the class, James was grinning. Who cared what the stupid potion said? The potion could be wrong. Maybe James and Peter brewed it wrong. 

All that mattered was that Regulus lit up James’ world, it genuinely felt that way. Just passing him in the hallways, getting to stare at him as he stared at the stars, just listening to him talk about astronomy or his favorite paintings felt like a reward to James.

So yeah, fuck the potion. 

James Potter was in love with Regulus Black.

That’s when he spotted the paint splattered on the edges of his otherwise neat robe. He was handing a book he must have borrowed back to Slughorn. His eyes landed on James and though he tried to keep his composure in thanking the professor, James grew ecstatic at the acknowledgement.

The effect Regulus had on him really had to be studied. 

Just before he left, he sniffed the room, his eyebrows furrowing in that Regulus Black way as he mock glared at James. He had the face of an aristocrat but the mind of an artist. Maybe he was both.

James was thankful his table was the closest to the door and the others were too busy either bickering, fawning over their potion or still completing it. 

“You smell, Potter” Regulus scrunched his nose in disgust, turning to walk away, “Didn’t you shower after quidditch? It’s disgusting, it’s a wonder the whole room isn’t gagging with how strong it is, even your sandalwood perfume can’t mask it.”

James could barely say anything before Regulus had walked away. 

Paint splatter, the old books in the room of requirement and Regulus’ personal collection, the broom wax from when James had watched him polish his broom before a match against Hufflepuff. 

Slowly the pieces floated together and James thought he had started floating too. He felt light, like a floating lantern, a ball of warmth in his chest. 

And what had Regulus been talking about? James twisted his ankle his last game. Madam Pomfrey hadn’t cleared him to fly the whole week, he had been moping about not being able to play. 

When he looked at Peter, his friend was looking back with an amused look. 

“Fucking hell, Prongs”

“Don’t tell Padfoot”

[whowantslovergirl]

Female Dr. Reid

Spencer Reid x reader (reader is female with she/her pronouns)

warnings: pen being the cutest matchmaker, spencer has ptsd when it comes to dating, reader has a dr title, post prison spencer (he’s 37 in this), just cute shit 😍 criminal minds masterlist

Summary: When Penelope met Y/n in a coffeehouse and saw how similar her and Spencer were she just had to set them up

posted: July 29, 2024

Penelope was on her way to work when she stopped at the local coffeehouse. She was in line when she saw you waiting for your drink she made a mental note to compliment your shoes. They were dark red pumps and she always wanted a pair.

______

She came over to wait for her drink and she was by you. “I love your pumps.” You look at her. “Oh thank you. I love your outfit.”

“Thank you. I’m Penelope.” She held her hand out for you to shake. You shook your head. “Oh I don’t shake hands, there is so many germs in shaking hands and fun fact it’s actually safer to kiss.” Her jaw dropped. “Oh my god! My co worker is just like that. He has this whole thing with germs and he always says that same exact fact.” She saw your tag for the college down the street from the BAU. “What do you teach?”

“Oh criminology and forensic psychology.”

“Wow I actually work with profilers.” You looked shocked. “Oh my gosh that’s so cool!” You guys talked and talked and she found out that you have three PhDs and the same exact interests.

“My co worker also has three! You guys are just alike. And one more question you look a little young to be a professor how old are you?”

You smiled. “I’m 37 and I started young I graduated high school at 12 and finished college at 16 and all the other stuff when I was 24.” Penelope was shocked at how similar you guys are. She’s big on soulmates and she thinks she just found Spencer’s.

“Y/n!”

“Oh that’s me bye Penelope here’s my card it’s my phone number so just send a text.” You smiled at her and got your coffee and left.

______

“Where’s Spencer?!” Derek looked at the blonde woman shaking with excitement. “Why do you need Spencer?”

“I just met his soulmate!” As she was saying this Spencer came in. “What?” She turned around. “Spencer I just met your soulmate. You have to meet her! She has three phds, loves doctor who, same age and she teaches what we do!”

“Pen you know I’m not dating anymore.” He said while walking away to get his coffee. After Maeve and Cat he can’t fall in love without something going wrong. Pen was hot on his trail. “But you would love her! And she likes her coffee the same exact way! I know I tried it and almost went into a diabetic coma.” Spencer turned around.

“I’m not interested..”

______

“Hey Y/n!” You and Pen were waiting for their coffees after a few conversations they considered each other friends. “Hey Pen!”

“I tried to set you up with my co worker but-.”

“What?! Pen I’m not looking for anyone right now.” Penelope nodded. “But you would love him! He is exactly your type.”

“Pen I’m not interested.”

______

After Pen left with her coffee. You noticed she dropped her id for the FBI. You picked it up and followed her trail. You got a visitor pass and went into the BAU. You saw an attractive tall brunette hair man. “Um hi do you know where Penelope is? She left her id.” Spencer saw you and everything around him stopped. You were absolutely gorgeous even though he had no idea who you were it didn’t matter because you are breathtaking.

“Yea she’s down the hall to the right.” You nodded and went to the room and knocked. “Come in to the dungeon my dear!” You came in. “Hey Pen you left your id.”

“Oh my thank you! I didn’t notice they just let me in. So don’t you have a class?” You shook your head. “It’s an afternoon class and I already planned for it.” You shrugged. “But you have a very attractive co worker.” Her eyes widened. “Which one they are all very attractive.”

“He’s tall, had long brown hair, facial hair, and brown eyes.” She squealed which made you jump. “That’s Spencer! I told you he’s your type!”

“That was Spencer?! I was not at all expecting him to look like that.” She grabbed your hands.

“Oh Y/n pleaseeee let me set you up. I promise you will love him. And he will love you.” After much convincing you nodded and Penelope cried with delight. “You guys are going to have attractive and smart children. Oh my god! Name one of them Penelope. He wants four kids anyway!”

What did you get yourself into?

______

As you were in Penelope’s office, Spencer was talking to Derek about Penelope’s friend. “She was beautiful! And she works at the college down the street because I saw her id. Y/n L/n even her name is beautiful-.” As he was ranting you came out to go to work. “Well bye everyone it was nice meeting you.” You noticed Derek. “Oh hi I’m Y/n.”

“Derek.” He held his hand out to shake. “Oh I don’t shake hands because of all the germs you know it’s actually safer to kiss.” Derek’s eyebrows raised. “Wow Spence you say the same thing!” You just smile. “Well I have to go to work.”

“Um what do you teach? I saw your id.” Spencer asked. “Criminology and forensic psychology.” His eyes widened.

“So you teach what we do.” He smiled. “Yea I guess I do.” You smile back.

“So professor L/n.” Derek added.

“Dr. L/n actually.” You corrected him. Spencer eyes widened even more. “You have a phd?”

“Three actually.” Derek smiled. “Spence also has three.”

“Yea Penelope told me when we first met.”

Then it came to him you are the person Penelope wanted to set him up with. You checked your watch. “I really have to go.”

“Yea I’ll walk you out.” Spencer said while rushing to your side. After you left Spencer darted to Penelope’s office.

“Pen! Was that the girl you want to set me up with?!”

“Yea why?”

“I’m free on Saturday so can you text her that please?” Penelope never been happier. “Yes of course!”

Her plan worked. She purposely left her id so Y/n can get and bring it. And it worked!

Soon Dr. L/n will become Dr. Reid.

An: HOPED YOU ENJOYED MY LOVERS 🤍

[papercorgiworld]

Boyfriend material

Reader is starting the new year in search of a little fun and a boyfriend. Pansy helps here pick the right outfit and guy.

For Blaise, Theo and Mattheo this will be a two part ‘porn with plot’ thing. This is part one and holds the plot. No Enzo part two, because apparently I can only write so much smut before my brain goes brrrr. Sorry.

I added a part 2 for Enzo!

Warning: reader has a little dirty make out daydream. Slytherin dudes have some naughty thoughts as well.

I had fun writing this. I really hope you like reading it. Kisses.

“New year, new me. I’m no longer a boring girl. I’m going to find myself a nice, good looking guy and get crazy with him.” You started as you sat down next to Hermoine. She laughed in response. “You don’t need a guy to have fun or to be cool.” But before you could say anything Pansy plopped down next to you. “Yes, you do, so who’s the lucky guy?” Hermoine rolled her eyes.

You looked around the great hall and settled on a handsome sixth year. “Him.” You tilted your face his way, subtly pointing. “Ew! No! Boring!” Pansy spat. “What’s wrong with that guy?” Hermoine asked, narrowing her eyes at Pansy. “You wanna be popular, you wanna have fun, you gotta date someone on top of the food chain.” Pansy said as a matter of fact and Hermoine mocked the last words of her sentence.

You ignored the tension completely and simply asked. “Who’s on top of the food chain?” Pansy looked around to search for a good example. “Aha!” She said pleased, when she saw who just walked in and grinned at the girls next to her. “Oh no.” Hermoine sighed as she saw a particular group of Slytherins enter the great hall. You simply pursed your lips at the idea. But you brought yourself back to reality. “How’s a gray mouse like me gonna date the top of the food chain?” Pansy simply wiggled her eyebrows and Hermoine was definitely worried now.

***

The next day you made your way to sit next to Hermoine in class. With your skirt short enough to make you question its purpose and your shirt tight and revealing, you now had all the guys paying attention. “What’s this?” Hermoine questioned, obviously referring to your outfit. “This. This is my battle-outfit. I’m conquering the top of the food chain.” You replied with confidence. Hermoine scoffed and raised an eyebrow. “Then why is the top of the food chain looking at you like you're their next meal.”

You quickly glanced around the classroom, getting a little nervous, you softly bit your lip. You want to defend your case to Hermoine, but accidentally drop your quill. As you reach for it, Enzo beats you to it. Handing it to you with a sweet smile, but also giving you a cheeky wink.

Theodore, who sits next to Enzo, shakes his head and huffs. “Don’t fall for it. Pansy’s clearly up to something.” Enzo smiles brightly at his friend. “Oh mate, I’ve already fallen. Badly, madly. And it’s okay, you can leave your fallen brother behind. He’s going to a better place, somewhere between her squishy thighs.” Mattheo who sits behind Theodore speaks up. “Oi, T. slap him for me, will ya?” And before Enzo even realizes what Mattheo said, Theo has already given him a light smack on the back of his head. Blaise bites his lip and comes to Enzo’s aid. “In his defense, look at those legs.” Slurring the last word and leaning closer to Mattheo, his eyes never leaving your body. Mattheo pushes his chair a little and leans back for a better view of what his friend is talking about. Mattheo is definitely seeing something he likes, his eyes scan your body. His tongue gently rolls over his lips and he swallows hard thinking about all the noises you would make if he could have his way with you. “Mister Zabini, mister Riddle, care to explain why you don’t have your books out yet.” Professor McGonnagol asks, looking down upon the boys. “Sorry professor.” Blaise immediately reaches for his book, while Mattheo only looks down at his desk like a pouty 5 year old that just got caught.

After class Theodore lets out a frustrated grown as you walk past them in the hallway. You did nothing aside from sitting there and being pretty, yet you had him fantasizing about things that made him loosen his tie halfway during class. “I should’ve skipped class. I wrote down less than when I’m not in class.” Enzo looked confused at Theo’s statement, questioning his logic. Mattheo was about to say something, but Blaise interrupted him. “That simp! Look at him.” Blaise pointed at Draco shamelessly leaning against a wall trying to casually make conversation with you as Pansy tries not to laugh at Draco’s desperation. “No backbone, those Malfoy’s.” Mattheo scoffs. “Yeaah.” Blaise affirms absentmindedly, staring at you as you smile at Draco. Such a beautiful smile, but I bet that mouth can do more than just smile. Blaise was smirking as his thoughts got less innocent with each passing second. “We should save the poor girl.” Enzo states, pulling Blaise out his trance. “Yeah.” Blaise and Enzo quickly make their way over to you. Making Pansy grin at Mattheo and Theodore. Raising her eyebrows as a way of non-verbally taunting them: are you two really gonna just stand there with your pathetic male pride. “Tell me you have smokes. I need one.” Mattheo sighs in frustration after he finally managed to pull his eyes away from you. Theo nods. “Girls and their games. They’ll be the death of me.” Theo can’t help but take one last look at you.

***

“Pans, I really don’t think this is a good idea. Hermoine’s right I’m attracting the wrong kind of guys.” Pansy eyes roll up in annoyance. That bloody Granger-girl can squeeze the fun out of everything. “You can set them straight. Believe me, if you bat your eyes they will start behaving.” You make a face disagreeing with her. “I’m looking for fun, yeah, but I’m also looking for boyfriend material, they’re not that.” Pansy huffs. “You know nothing.” You frown in confusion. “Just play my game. You’ll get what you want.” Pansy starts walking again, but then turns on her heels looking at you still confused. “You are gonna have to pick one, preferably by tonight. I would hate to see the Slytherin boy band break up, because I really don’t think they can share.” You bite your lip softly and your mind wonders.

If Pansy was really speaking the truth and you could just have your pick. Which one? Him. If he would push you against this cold hallway wall right now you would immediately spread your legs so he could lift you up. Your neck and your jaw would be peppered with his soft kisses. You would wrap your legs around him and he would buck his hips into yours. Your mouth would fall open slightly because of all the sensations building up between your legs. He would mercilessly attack your mouth and his hands would explore every inch of your body. Squeezing your butt, making you instinctively rub your core against his growing bulge. He would cup your breasts, his thumb caressing your nipple through the fabric. “Everything alright?” Luna snaps you out of your wonderful train of thoughts. You look at her sheepishly. “Yeah. I better get going. Class, and stuff.” You push your thighs together, before fully letting go of your daydream. “I have those moments too you know, when I forget about reality.” Luna comforts you as you both walk to class. “Uhu” Is all you manage to say, not really knowing what to think.

If Blaise is you’re guy: part 2

***

“Your party outfit is a shirt?” Hermoine asks, not hiding her judgment. “It’s an oversized shirt, which makes it a dress. It’s fashion, Granger, get over it.” Pansy snaps. “You’re corrupting my friend.” Hermoine hisses at Pansy. “Oh, darling. I’m not corrupting. But some guy might.” Pansy winks, Hermoine’s mouth falls open and you stand there sheepishly looking at your feet. “I’m wearing shorts under this dress. So it’s really not that bad.” You finally manage to say. “Alright, let’s party.” Pansy says and she’s the first to walk through the doors of the room of requirement.

For Mattheo: part 2

For Theodore: part 2

For Lorenzo: part 2

[cameronspecial]

Loving the Zach stuff so far!!!

Could you maybe do something where yn hates his guts, but he is like in love with her and all her sass?? Then they're forced to go on some school trip together or something, and she realizes she likes him and a cute angry love confession, perhaps???

Danke 🫶🏼💐

Thank You, History Class

Pairing: Zach MacLaren x Reader

Warnings: N/A

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 1.2K

Masterlist

Y/N and Zach have been running in the same friend group since Freshman year, but it doesn’t mean they necessarily get along. Well, it doesn’t mean that she likes him. His sarcasm and puppy dog vibe annoys her cool and distant personality. He’s always asking her how her day is going and trying to make her laugh with his stupid jokes. Zach, on the other hand, fell for her grumpy soul the moment he set eyes on her. Unlike most people, who don’t bother looking deeper into her personality, Zach could see the soft side that she held within and never let anyone see. He would always catch how she would stand up from her bus seat when she saw an elderly person. She wouldn’t let people around her know it was the reason, but she always did. He saw the little bowl of milk she left outside her house for a cat mother and her kittens. Finally, he saw how sweet she was to children whenever they were around her. 

Zach didn’t want to take a history class and he certainly didn’t feel like going on a field trip to a museum. It all felt very high school to him. The only upside about it: Y/N is also taking the same class. When he saw that he needed a history credit to graduate, he definitely didn’t go looking for what classes she was taking this semester to try and be in the same one. The cost was giving Jason access to his bathroom whenever he wanted, but it was worth it. He knows the field trip isn’t mandatory for any marks, yet he knows Y/N is going to be there. As he heads toward the Victorian house, he finds Y/N out front waiting for the professor to show up. Her clothing consists of black and brown colours as usual. Her hair was held back by a shiny black claw clip. 

“Fancy seeing you here,” he grins, coming to stand beside her. She gives him a side eye, “Could you be more cliche? Try something more original, would ya? I still can’t believe you are taking this class.” He doesn’t let her sour mood dampen his energy. “Come on, you know you like having me with you in this class. The only other people in this class are girls who have a romanticized view of the era, or guys, who have a history stick so far up their ass that they think a history degree will take them far in life,” he notes, turning to look at her. She looks him dead in the eyes, “I’m a history major. And I am neither of those things.” “I know, that’s because you are so much better than them. You are far too smart for them,” he flatters. She shakes her head, turning her attention to the professor who has just arrived, “Flattery won’t get you anywhere.” The professor leads them into the museum and begins his lecture. After ten minutes of listening to the man speak, both Y/N and Zach realized that coming was a big waste of time. He doesn’t know what he is talking about and Zach can hear Y/N constantly correcting the older man under her breath. 

He leans toward her, making sure his lips are close to her ear. “Wanna go on our own little tour? This man is getting half of this stuff wrong.” She thinks she has lost her mind because this must be the first thing Zach has said that she thought was a good idea. “That actually sounds kind of fun. They have a Victorian fashion exhibit I want to see, but I don’t think Professor Robo over there is going to take us to,” she whispers back. Her hand finds his and she hates to admit she likes the warmth of his in hers. They round the stairs to the exhibit. She looks delighted when she spots the first mannequin with clothes. Her feet find their way beside a girl about six years old, already looking at the dress. The child’s eyes find Y/N’s face and they smile at each other. “You know, this is an 1843 Evening dress. The bodice, the thing around the chest, is low off the shoulders. And they have lots of other skirts underneath to make it poofy,” Y/N softly explains to the little girl. 

They spent around thirty minutes in the small room. Y/N walks around with Willow and Zach, explaining each outfit to them. She is surprised that Zach seemed honestly engaged with what she was saying and would ask thoughtful questions. Eventually, Willow’s mother, an employee, came looking for her and took the girl to lunch. “Do you want to head to lunch?” she asks. He shakes his head, “Actually, I was hoping we could look at the Victorian sports exhibit. I brought some snacks, so if you are hungry, we can share.” He pulls out a bag of cucumbers shaped like hearts. She has to giggle at the sight because big jock Zach MacLaren likes to have his vegetable cut into shapes. 

“What?” he questions in fake offence, holding out the Ziploc to her. She shakes her head with a chuckle, “Nothing, just surprised your cucumbers look like an inaccurate depiction of a human organ.” “They make them taste better. Try,” he says with a shrug. He hands her a slice and listens to the sweet crunch of her biting into the vegetable. “Okay… I must admit it is more fun to eat it like a heart. I can pretend I’m a witch eating people’s hearts,” she agrees. He doesn’t look disturbed by her macabre comments, instead, he pretends to be ripping out his heart as he hands her another slice. She enjoys him playing with her deadly thoughts.

They spent about an hour looking at the different displays, eating his snacks and taking turns reading the display’s blurbs to each other. As they stand on the steps of the museum, Y/N towers over him from the step above. He looks up at her like she hangs the stars in the sky. “I hate to admit that you made this day pretty fun,” she confides. Her hands find their way behind her back, biting her lip as she looks into his eyes. His mouth turns into a crescent moon, “I’m really glad I did. I like spending time with you.” She takes a moment to think and moves her head away in frustration. Not at him, but at the turmoil inside her mind. Why is his charming smile suddenly getting to her? Why does she want to step into his warmth and let his arms bring her in? “Ugh, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I’m falling for you, MacLaren. So… would you want to go to dinner? Like on a date,” she confesses with a hint of annoyance in her tone that is just normally there. She is disgusted by the excitement that crosses his face. He gets off the steps, running around the green grass in front of the building. He jumps every so often with a little whoop let out as he does so. 

He rushes back to her, grabbing her around her waist and spinning her around. She finds the sound of her giggles odd but enjoys it nonetheless. “Way to keep a poker face,” she sasses, looking down at him. He doesn’t care though all he wants is a chance to be with her.

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia

[ldrfanatic]

Slytherin Boys as Tortured Poets Department Songs

*in perspective of their relationship with you AND their personality. and why*

which ts album should i do next?

(mattheo riddle, draco malfoy, theo nott lorenzo berkshire)

slytherin boys masterlist works

mattheo riddle as Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?

best lyric(s) - "I want to snarl and show you Just how disturbed this has made me. You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me." + "I was tame, I was gentle till the circus life made me mean. Don't you worry folks we took out all her teeth." + "That I'm fearsome and I'm wretched and I'm wrong."

explanation - Aside from the obvious reasons, I feel like it's not really talked about how damaging it would be to have Voldemort as your father. (or brother or any relative for that matter). To me, this song screams the rage of a person who's been judged their whole life for being a bad person, so they became a bad person. (I am what I am cause you trained me). Other students, most wizards, professors even, all look at mattheo like he's a bomb that's waiting to explode and it makes him really sad when he's a kid, but then when he grows up it just makes him angry. They should be afraid.

mattheo w/his partner - Now, with a partner, I firmly believe that he'd be closer to them than anyone. His partner would be the first person that actually tried to understand him and understand why he's as angry as he is all the time. mattheo really opens up to his partner and tells them about bouncing around orphanages after his mother got thrown into Azkaban for a few years and then going to live with the Malfoys where draco's father treated him like a bad seed that was poisoning his son even though he was doing that to draco himself. so mattheo really treasures the bond he has with his partner because they're the only ones that understand him and understand that he never wanted to become the dark lord's son, he just wanted to be mattheo but the world has made that impossible for him.

draco malfoy as The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

best lyric(s) - "I would've died for you sins, instead I just died inside. And you deserve prison but you won't get time." + "And in plain sight you hid but you are what you did. And I'll forget you but I'll never forgive."

explanation - later in life draco feels completely betrayed by his father. he really admired him and looked up to him as a kid (his parents made sure that he knew how important it was to be a Malfoy), but his father abused that admiration and now draco resents allowing him to manipulate him like that. draco felt incredibly robbed that his father didn't get sent to prison following the battle of hogwarts. he didn't wish to cause his mother any hardship, but secretly he was hoping that the defeat of voldemort would be his golden ticket to finally escape his father's dark shadow. also, i like to think that after harry potter defeated voldemort, draco never spoke to his father ever again. he still exchanges the occasional owl with his mother but he doesn't ever want to see his father again.

draco w/ his partner - draco's partner is someone who he can break down with. after years of being forced to mask his emotions under a cool facade, he's able to fall apart in his partner's arms and know that they won't judge him. they're one of only a few people that know that draco isn't just upset with his father because of his actions. he was upset because he felt like he'd been lied to his entire life and just wanted an explanation. later in life, draco feels incredibly self conscious about a lot of his earlier 'achievements' and if his father only doted on him as a child because he was raising him to be the dark lord's lackey. ultimately, draco really appreciates having someone to confide in, and the upbringing from his parents really makes him appreciate the way that you care for him without any strings or conditions attached.

theodore nott as Florida!!!

best lyric(s) - "So you pack your life away, Just to wait out the shitstorm." + "barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine, well me and my ghosts we had a hell of a time." + "Little did you know your home's really only the town where you'll get arrested."

explanation - after the death of his mother, theo is obviously shaken up. he's actually quite fucked up for pretty much forever. he tries to pack all of his emotions inside and drown them out with drugs and alcohol. when he gets drunk, he doesn't have to deal with his mother not being here anymore. that's why it's not all that surprising when he starts hanging around with the children of death eaters. it is a surprise to him however when he returns to italy to visit his grandmother and she wants nothing to do with him.

theo w/his partner - theo and his partner give enemies to lovers (wild since I dont think i've ever written theo like that) but i firmly believe that he hates his partner in the beginning. why? theo's partner reminds him of his mother. their personality, their soft smile. it's all very reminiscent of his mother and he fucking hates it. At first. He doesn't like the way that being around you brings out the old theo. he doesn't want to lose you in fear that it'll feel like losing his mom all over again. but when theo finally does give into his feelings for you, he starts to cherish the ways that you remind him of his mother (and of course the ways that you don't). he often tells you about how he and his mother dreamed of escaping his father but were never able to.

lorenzo berskhire as Fortnight

best lyric(s) - "And for a fortnight there, we were forever, run into you sometimes, ask about the weather" + "and I love you, it's ruining my life" + "thought of calling you, but you won't pick up"

explanation - lorenzo spends his whole life desperately trying to escape his family. (i think he'd actually be one of the slytherins that fought against the death eaters in the battle of hogwarts). i think that lorenzo would have run away from home multiple times as a child just trying to escape and get some sense of normalcy. but i don't think that it ever would've lasted any longer than a day or two at most before he was found and brought back home (where his uncle was all too happy to try and beat lessons into him). because of this though, lorenzo would be the kind of person who's always trying to protect others.

lorenzo w/ his partner - because lorenzo is always trying to protect you and knows that his family would ruin you just to get at his emotions, when the death eaters take control of the ministry, he breaks up with you. he actually stays away from you for years following the war as well. all he has are his memories of his brief but happy moments with you. his love for you haunts him for this entire time. and then, he runs into you one day in diagon alley. it's a little awkward at first but the two of you actually rekindle the love that you once had and this time, he's all in.

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4.23.24

wc 1.2k

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taglist

@moonlightreader649 @svt-dk97 @thatdammchickennugget @helendeath @fandom-life-12 @bouquetolegoflowers @maryvibess

[catscidr]

Hallo... can I get some fluff for akademiya dottore where he, fem!reader, and a couple others are on an expedition and eventually dottore finds himself falling for reader cuz they share like all the same interests... 😊 eventually he confesses to reader and reader accepts happily. smiles :)

i. note — if akademiya dottore has ten lovers, i am one of them. if akademiya dottore has one lover, that's me. if akademiya dottore has zero lovers, i am dead. (๑•̀ㅂ•́)ง✧ also i meant to finish this like a week ago but shit happened n then i was bleeding in yamcha pose™ in my bed........ My Apologies ii. includes — akademiya era dottore (zandik), fem!reader and a very special friend :) iii. warnings — nothing but friendly banter and tooth rotting fluff amen. also not proofread we die like [redacted] iv. wc — 3,2k -> also on ao3 if u prefer to read fics there

You wish you had slammed your door shut the second you saw who was on the other side earlier today. Instead of having a relaxing, free day, you were out on a hike with people whom you were acquainted with at best and with one of the biggest enigmas in the Akademiya, Zandik. If it wasn’t for your curiosity and deep yearning for an answer as to why he sought you out specifically to go out on an expedition, you wouldn’t have accepted— but alas. Here you were, sweating your body mass away in the humid, sticky weather of Sumeru. 

The group only got to the other side of the bridge leading out of the city, right after passing through an old tree trunk serving as a makeshift overpass, when you had to take a break. It wasn’t your fault you weren’t used to walking for long periods of time; being a Rtawahist student meant you didn’t need to go outside of the city as much as other darshans. You weren’t the only one that held that sentiment though, so you all (thankfully) took a brief moment of respite before heading on. 

You’d be lying to yourself if you didn’t enjoy the scenery at least a little bit. Even though your arm was starting to get sore from shielding your eyes from the bright sun, the flora almost made it worth it. The air felt crisp on your skin and in your lungs, the distant sound of a flowing waterfall was washing away the tension in your shoulders, and you started to think that maybe you should spend more time outside. Watching the water near the mystic domain in the area of Chatrakam Cave, you start to ponder if it would be worth it to go for a dip to cool off while everyone else discusses where to go next... 

“Hey.” 

An impatient voice rips a yelp out of you, pulling you right out of your daydreams. Minty hair obscures the sun, giving your arm a much-appreciated break from shielding your eyes. “We have places to be, you know. Are you ready to go or do I have to leave you out here for eremites to rob you?” 

Blinking away the initial shock, you scoff at your schoolmate’s bluntness and drag yourself up to your feet. “And you wonder why you don’t have any friends,” you huff under your breath, patting away any dirt that had stuck to your uniform. Zandik rolls his eyes and frowns, sharp canines looking more akin to a puppy’s maw than a shark’s. “I don’t wonder why I don’t have any friends, mind you. I already know why I don’t have any,” he retorts, turning away from you to walk away. You grumble ‘sure you do’ quietly under your breath before catching up to him, glancing at the others in your group. “Guys, wait for us!” 

You watch them begin to walk along the left side of the intersection and go to follow them before the aforementioned boy grabs your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. “Where do you think you’re going? You’re supposed to follow me. Or did you forget who invited you in the first place?” Yeesh, talk about a short fuse. Being (mostly) used to his sharp remarks, you manage to push down the urge to bite the bait he had laid out for you. “I mean, it’s not like you told me where we would be going or why I’m here. Besides, aren’t we supposed to stay grouped up? Professors have always warned us about Rishboland Tigers roaming outside the-” Zandik cut you off by tugging you towards him, away from the group of students. 

“The stuff I need is over this way,” he said quietly. Irritation seeped through his pores, though for what reason you didn’t know. Wriggling your wrist out of his (lax) grip, you pick up your pace just enough to catch up to his long legs. The cliff to your left provided some nice shade, but the more he led the way the more he picked up the pace. You didn’t even have time to ask about your schoolmates— though it seemed like they were fine with you two splitting up from the group, anyways. 

“Stop going so fast! Hey- what's up with you all of the sudden?!” 

You place a hand on his shoulder in a poor attempt to stop his run for answers. Zandik shushes you with a harsh glare and his index to his mouth, earning himself a baffled expression from you. “What is your problem today?” you hiss, voice quieter than before. Too busy glaring holes into the back of his head, you fail to see the focused and starry eyes your friend had as he looked ahead. He stops walking abruptly, making you bump into him with an elegant ow fuck! Your face had met his nape, minty hair tickling your forehead as you step back to rub the ache away from your nose. 

“I don’t feel like playing charades, Zandik. Seriously, what’s up with y-” he hushes you with a hand motion, frustration boiling in your gut. Ready to give him a piece of your mind, you step to the side to stand next to him; what you didn’t expect to see a few feet in front of him were sentient mushrooms— fungi, hopping and playing around a cluster of ores. 

“...they look like matsutake,” you whisper, glancing at Zandik to catch a glimpse of his face. He crouches down and you follow suit, silently observing the fungi alongside him. There were three in total; they all seemed to be standing still, occasionally... wriggling in place, a dim green light emanating from their thick stems. “Are they feeding on the iron?” you murmur, dumbfounded. Since when did mushrooms eat rocks? 

“They’re absorbing nutrients from the ground. It just so happens that there are an abundance of it around ore clusters,” Zandik explained, the lack of condescension in his tone puzzling you. “How do you know that? You’re not an Amurta student.” Though you couldn’t deny that seeing the fungi in their natural habitat was captivating, even if they were still just living mushrooms. 

The boy exhales sharply, “I don’t care for the fungi themselves. It’s because—” leaves rustle, making him pause his sentence to look around, checking if anyone was listening. When the coast is clear he continues, “they’re... related to ley lines.” You peel your gaze away from the sentient vegetables to look at your friend with a look that clearly displayed your confusion. As the cogs turned in your brain though, you start to piece things together and come up to your own hypothesis about his claim. 

“That makes... sense. They’re part of the forest, so it would make sense if they were extensions of ley lines since they’re kind of like roots...” you mutter your train of thoughts out loud, grabbing a stray stick to draw on the ground. Your sketch was... lackluster, but it got the point across. “Trees are rooted to the ground, and mushrooms grow on trees or around them—” you point at the messy “drawing” of a fungi you just made, “but if they gain some elemental energy from nearby ley lines, then they’ll become sentient!” 

As you exclaim your new discovery, your eyes meet Zandik’s carmine ones— and your face flushes once you realize he had been staring at you this whole time. A choked noise of surprise rips itself out of your throat, the noise startling the fungi nearby, making them scurry away further along the dirt path. He smacks your head, “I told you to be quiet!” 

You don’t have time to protest because a horde of fungi run up to you— so many of them that you couldn’t even take the time to count. A string of curses fly out of Zandik’s mouth, and as he scrambles to get up, he grabs your wrist, pulling you up to your feet to run. “They look harmless, but they can seriously injure you if they’re in a group— book it!” he shouts, jumping up on a moss-covered rock, climbing up on the hill going around the path blocked off by the fungi. He helps you up quickly and you both make a dash for it, in the hopes that they’ll stop coming after you. 

You’re grateful that the sun had started to set before you and Zandik got ambushed, at the very least. The sky had turned a beautiful shade of indigo, orange and pink dotting the horizon and the clouds above. Without the sun sapping away at your energy you were able to get away scot-free and enjoy a breathtaking sunset; you hadn’t even noticed that Zandik was leading you somewhere, too engrossed in the familiar sight of the sky you had gazed into so many times. 

“Look over there,” he places a hand on your shoulder to grab your attention and you look as he points to a small group of fungi. Their shape looked more like drills than mushrooms, and they definitely lacked the “natural” camouflage that their other skin had, since they were white and periwinkle, and not dirt brown. A quiet woah leaves you as you look at them, brain working overtime once again. Zandik walks with you, slowly, away from the fungi before you can get attacked again. 

You begin to ramble about your theories to Zandik when you’re both far enough from the living vegetables, making grand, expressive gestures with your hands to emphasize your thoughts. The sound of your shoes crunching the grass beneath your feet, crickets chirping and the gentle evening breeze rustling the verdure around sound distant compared to the sound of your voice enthusiastically talking about the creatures you encountered. He absentmindedly scolds himself, wishing he had dragged you out of your dorm room earlier. 

“Nara Zandik!” a voice says from behind him. 

“Fucking Archons-” his head whips around to gawk at the culprit; a small, cyan colored mushroom creature. Completely oblivious to the newcomer, you halt your steps to look at Zandik’s mortified expression. “Why’d you stop?” 

The boy’s attention is torn between you and Ararycan, head spinning. Based on your reaction (or lack thereof), you couldn’t see it; which brought up the question. Should he tell you the truth— that there’s currently a “friendly” sentient mushroom right beside you, or should he lie through his teeth and say- 

“N-Nothing. Just keep going, I’ll catch up. I have, uh... a stomachache.” 

Zandik has never been a good liar, but deciding to spare him the embarrassment, you nod. “Alright. Shout if you need me!” You walk off, looking over the hill to admire the large trees below, more akin to giant lotus plant leaves than actual trees. Your form retreats far enough that Zandik’s sure you won’t hear him if he whispers. 

He looks down at the aranara, panicked red eyes meeting oblivious, beady black orbs and a smile that never faltered. “Why did you show up now?” Ararycan dismissed the harsh tone in which the boy spoke (or didn’t understand it); it didn’t care either way. The creature brimmed with optimism. “Nara Zandik should say what’s on his mind!” it says, little arms waving up and down. “The forest is happy, iron chunks are asleep, and the sky is bright! Why is Nara Zandik scared?” 

His brows furrow, lips curling into a pout as he murmurs, “I’m not scared.” The aranara blinks at him, still smiling- waiting. “I’m not,” he repeats, “it’s just... argh, what do I do? Why is my head so...” “Fuzzy?” Ararycan finishes, tilting its bulbous head to the side, the leaves on its head flopping over. Zandik grumbles, hands coming up to cover his face 

“Is the strange Nara nice?” it asks curiously, turning to look at your figure sitting on the hill a few meters away. You lean over carefully, observing the signs of life below; lanterns made from sticks and leaves, dirt paths separating in a multitude of directions and a small, round house with large leaves serving as a roof. Why you had never seen anything like this was a mystery to you, but you figured you’d just pester Zandik about it later since he was the one to bring you here. 

Zandik looks back down at his friend, his expression having softened from just a few moments ago. “Yeah. That’s why I’m being... stupid. What do I say?” 

Ararycan uses its tiny legs to turn back to look at the flustered boy, black eyes focused on scanning his face. “Talk to her about the sky!” it finally says enthusiastically, walking away before the boy can get a word in. “Hey-!” Little noises echo in the same rhythm as its footsteps, but right as Zandik turns around to ask something, the creature jumps up and disappears into the ground. A frustrated groan leaves Zandik’s gritted teeth, having resigned himself to the “advice” the aranara gave him. 

You hear light footsteps behind you, drowning out the noise of your thoughts as you look back to see Zandik grimacing at you. Or not— his eyes weren’t focused on you, but you happened to be in his line of sight, which made it look like he was judging you heavily. Giggling at him, you pat the grass next to you and shuffle away to give him some space. 

“Feeling better?” He remembers the excuse he gave you and cringes internally as he sits down, body stiff and awkward. “Yeah. Sure. Listen, uh...” Zandik trails off, losing his words. He sheepishly fiddles with the scarf draped over his shoulders, ears reddening the longer he stalls. You nudge his side with your elbow, “Did your stomachache affect your cognitive functions or something?” 

The comment slides off of him as if it were water and he was made up of extra virgin olive oil. What did Ararycan say? Talk about the sky... 

“Hey, can’t you see the stars clearly from here?” he manages to say, glancing up to look at the streaks of white in the welkin. You follow suit, mouth agape when you realize that you can, and the sky is so clear that you can see smudges of different colors in the sky. The navy backdrop was covered in soft shades of purple and blue, stars glistening so softly it was as if someone had gently and strategically placed them there. 

“Woah...” you whisper, your eyes sparkling just as brightly as the constellations. You point out the ones you recognize, eager to talk about your field of expertise. "This one right there is called Leptailurus Cervarius, it looks like a cat!” He leans over to look at where you pointed at and there it was, a small cluster of six stars. He couldn’t say that he saw the cat you spoke of, but he didn’t want to bum you out either. 

“It looks like it’s jumping,” he mutters. You turn to face him with a smile on your face, one that rivaled the brightness of the stars above your heads. He thought his heart would jump out of his chest and into your lap— but even then, he didn’t particularly mind if it did. “It is!” You nod quickly, pointing out more constellations with names he wasn’t even sure he would remember the next day. But he wanted to know more, to listen to you talk about the galaxy so much that he could be a Rtawahist student, too. 

You soon begin to grow drowsy, having spent most of your energy talking Zandik’s ear off (not to mention the sprint from earlier). As you wobble, struggling to hold yourself up, Zandik gently takes ahold of your head and places it on his shoulder. The fabric of his uniform felt comfortable, earning him a small smile from you. His mind drifts away for a moment— his heart clenched in his chest as he thought back to all the time he spent with you. 

From your roaring arguments about trivial matters to info dumping on each other, Zandik couldn’t help but wish you’d make more memories with him. Maybe it was selfish, but he didn’t like picturing someone else leaning their shoulder for you to doze off on. If he could be your pillow forever, he would take up the job in a heartbeat. 

...What? 

You jolt awake, surprised by Zandik’s sudden movement. He straightened his back, clearing his throat awkwardly. Thankfully there were any creatures around, or else you two would have gotten mauled already. 

“We should get back.” The suggestion draws a groan out of you as you stretch your arms over your head, flopping back onto the grass. It was slightly cold and soft enough to relax your limbs once again, sleep pawing at you desperately, “It’s nice here though.” 

Zandik pushes away whatever indecent thought had begun to brew in his head from seeing you laid on your back next to him. He carefully grabs the hem of your skirt and brings it down to cover your legs as he speaks, “You’ll catch a cold. Come on, we have to go.” 

You blow a raspberry at him, turning away. “Maybe you will but I won’t. I’m strong, I can easily fight off a measly cold,” and you flex an arm to prove your point. It doesn’t convince him in the slightest, and he pulls you up to your feet with him. You decide not to point out the way he struggled ever so slightly— he definitely wasn’t hiding any beefy muscles under his uniform. 

“Okay fine we’re going,” you huff while dusting off your skirt, “but you owe me!” 

“Owe you what? I’m not the bad guy here.” 

“Uh... a drink. You’re paying for my caffeine next time we go out,” you say, and Zandik rolls his eyes. Very typical of an Akademiya student. 

“Fine. It’s a date.” 

You nod quickly, eager to get a tasty drink and to save a handful of mora the next time you go out. Of course it’s not like drinks were that expensive in Sumeru, but it feels nice to be treated every once in a while- 

“A date?!” 

Some birds fly away in fear from the sheer shock your voice carried out. You gape at Zandik, cheeks flushed brightly and eyes wide like saucers. “Yeah. A date,” he repeats nonchalantly, a stark contrast from the way he was acting just shy of an hour ago. Gone was the nervous wreck that was Zandik. 

“If you don’t want a free drink, you can always refuse,” he teases, nudging you with his elbow in the same way you did with him when you were sitting on the hill overseeing the lotus leaf trees. You scoff, then shake your head, and scoff again in pure disbelief. You were stunned; dumbfounded, even. But the idea of a date didn’t sound as unappealing as you made it out to be. 

You glance away from him and mumble your answer. “What was that? I didn’t hear y-” 

“Fine, it’s a date!” 

He looks at you with a boyish grin, making your heart skip a beat. Was he always this handsome? The moonlight made his hair look ethereal, glowing almost pure white where the light shone directly on it. And his eyes— they looked irresistible. Crimson red orbs appearing to have more of a pink hue to them, though you weren’t sure if that was just your imagination. 

Zandik grabs ahold of your hand and matches his steps with yours as you make your way down the hill, back to where you found the familiar dirt path you had walked on when the sun still shone brightly in the sky. As you get closer to flat ground you notice a small horde of mushroom-shaped... mushrooms, and get hit by a wave of déjà-vu. Although asleep, the fungi were blocking the path back. 

“...How are we supposed to get back?” 

[rei-ismyname]

Charles Xavier - Poor Little Meow Meow?

I've been ripping on Count Chuckula pretty mercilessly of late. I don't feel bad, per se (because it's funny) but he does have his moments. A full examination of his actions and legacy is a much larger project, one I've been working on for months. You'll have to wait for that. Here's a couple of recent Professor X moments I think were cool, or at least interesting. Such as his twinkish babygirlification meets beast mode Godkiller.

Totally wholesome kidnapping

JK, he's holding Mother Righteous accountable here. She's the wooooorst, trust me on that. Very mean and just betrays everyone, but not in a fun way.

Who hasn't wanted to kill God? They definitely deserve it. Especially the Old Testament God 🪓💣that dude sucks. Chuck is super relatable here.

Took the L for all of mutantkind. Martyred himself, rather. It's hard to criticise people when their actions have such high stakes, you know? 'The Butcher of Krakoa' is a wild epithet for Xavier - I wonder how long it'll stick. Not especially relatable to my life experience but I have to respect the difficult position he's in here. Also, despite all that stress he managed to achieve some high quality murders. Credit where credit is due.

Gives Sally Floyd a new personality for a while at her request. It's not quite so cut and dry, but his RotPox actions are recontextualised as scamming ORCHIS (which saved all of existence.) MF just needs to learn how to communicate.

Has a complicated chat with his old boyfriend. There's definitely some bitterness here but he does genuinely wish him well. They should have fucked, but that's not really his fault. Sure, he could have propositioned Mags here but he doesn't look very comfortable and Wolverine just tried to kill him. We all know the Master of Magnetism could crumple his confinement like paper and move dick to mouth in seconds, but maybe they're not into public/dangerous/conjugal sex. *AHEM* I'm sure I had a point here.

I love their conversation so much. Krakoa wasn't doomed to fail - mistakes can be fixed and people grow. It's huge for Magneto especially, and therefore Charles as well. This is the synthesis of both their misguided ideologies. Solidarity, intersectionality, nobody is free until we all are. The oppressors are everyone's enemy. Strength in numbers. It's not an easy fight but it's been won many times before. I'll definitely come back to this dialogue, though I need to see how From The Ashes follows it up. It's a writer's dream, frankly, but fumbles are common and even intentional. Joy is fleeting and the struggle never ends.

I've reached Tumblr's image limit. What are your favourite Chuck moments?

[leclercsredhelmet]

So Highschool ✰ Joe Burrow

A/N: Hi hi! Haven’t posted in a while because I’ve been busy writing and editing, fellow Joe Burrow fans I come bearing gifts for everyone! So Highschool is one of my favorite Taylor songs and I had been waiting to write a Joe blurb based on this song so here you go! Hope you all enjoy it <3

“Tell me ‘bout the first time that you saw me”

The balcony doors were wide open and the summer breeze was felt inside the room. Joe had his head in your lap while a book was held in your hands as you read out loud. You had been reading quietly when he entered the room after he had finished watching some game tape. His glasses were on and you smiled, a twin smile spread across his face when he saw you wearing glasses as well. 

Wordlessly he lay on the bed and placed his head in your lap, your fingers weaved their way through his hair as you combed through it softly. “You’re reading The Alchemist again,” he observed. “Yeah, I am,” you replied softly. “Read it to me please,” he said. You chuckled, “I like hearing your voice when you read, it’s soothing,” he said. Placing a soft kiss on his forehead you began to read. 

Joe traced patterns on your bare legs as he listened to your voice. It was soft and you would take pauses whenever a comma came up. Just by your voice, he could tell if the texts had any commas or punctuation marks. “So, I love you because the entire universe conspired for me to find you,” you read and chuckled. Joe chuckled, “It sure did,” he stated and you hummed in agreement. Setting the book aside you leaned down to look at him, he smiled and kissed the tip of your nose. 

“Do you remember when we first met at school?” he asked. Laughing you nodded, “I do, we were nine and I had just moved to Cincinnati,” you said. “It was English class and the only free seat was next to me, your hair was up in two curly pigtails and your glasses were the same color as the Mystery Machine,” he said with a smile and you laughed. “Then you said, cool glasses, I’m Joe,” you said. Joe chuckled “And we sat together in every class, from fourth grade until senior year,” he recalled. Fondly you smiled and recalled your childhood with Joe. 

Flashback

At nine years old you didn’t think you would move to Ohio of all places but your father’s job had brought all of you here. He had accepted a teaching position in Athens, Ohio. The move was a little unexpected due to circumstances you really can’t remember but you arrived during the third week of classes. 

You didn’t know anyone at the school and that terrified you, following the principal he introduced you to your teacher and classmates. There was only one spot available at the front of the classroom next to a light-haired boy with baby-blue eyes.” Cool glasses, I’m Joe” he whispered. With a small stutter, you replied, “Thank you. I’m Y/N.” 

Later in the day, you found out you were neighbors and that was the start of your friendship with Joe. Your parents joked that you would forever be glued at the hip and wouldn’t be a surprise if you got married one day. Little did you both know that you would get married you were engaged as of this moment. 

Joe taught you about football and you in return introduced him to books, he was smart but always said you were the smartest out of the two. “When I make it into the NFL you’re going to be a college professor,” he said matter-of-factly one evening when you were studying. You chuckled, “What makes you so sure?” you countered. Joe shrugged, “I just have that feeling,” he replied. 

Growing up with Joe you never thought you would like him but one day you almost accidentally kissed in the library while he helped you reach for a book. From that day on you realized that you had a crush on your best friend but you never said anything because you were fearful of ruining things. Joe also had that lingering feeling but your eighth-grade selves were too scared to say anything and it wasn’t until high school when he finally decided to tell you. 

High school

Joe had a girlfriend in high school and it pained you a little to watch how happy he was. You were happy for him but couldn’t help your dislike towards the girl after she had cornered you to tell you she didn’t want you near Joe. Naturally, you didn’t listen and Joe noticed you were hiding some discomfort. Hiding your feelings from people came easy to you, but Joe knew you like the back of his hand. Reading you was just as easy as memorizing a playbook, it was second nature to him. One evening while you studied for a science test in his room he confronted you and you had no chance but to tell him. 

The next day he had talked with his girlfriend and she acted normal when he was around but you were aware she was talking about you in the halls. You didn’t find it in you to care but still, the lingering feeling that she truly did not like Joe loomed. No one knew him like you, and no one knew you like him. 

Senior year had come and you were both focused on what lay ahead, Joe was set on making it to college football and you were sure he was going to be there. You were putting in the work as well, your focus was set on Yale. He had been having some trouble with his girlfriend and you had done your best to help him through it. “I think I’m breaking up with her,” he said and your attention drifted from the math homework you were working on. “Are you sure about that?” you asked. “Yeah, I need to focus on finishing what’s left of the year and I don’t love her,” he said. “Oh,” was all you said and he raised an eyebrow. “No hey Joe think this through,” he said with a chuckle. You chuckled weakly. “Joe I’m sorry I can’t help with that, you know that I lack in that department,” you said. “You also don’t like her!” he said with a grin and poked your side. 

Playfully you rolled your eyes, “My dislike towards her is not the point, it’s your relationship anyways,” you said firmly and he knew that was you shutting the topic down. Joe broke up with her the next day and you expected to see him beat up but he was fine but her, well she had made a scene that day and stormed off the field. You watched her and fought back a snicker. 

It was Joe’s last practice before the Homecoming Game and since you were leaving with him you sat on the bleachers to wait for him. A book was perched on your lap and Joe looked at you while he stretched. “Has anyone asked her out to Prom?” one of his teammates asked. “Some but she’s turned them down,” he replied. “What if I ask her, do you think she’ll say yes?” he asked. Joe felt a sense of jealousy wash over him. “She’ll say no,” he snapped. “Damn Joe, chill. It was just a question,” his teammate said, “And that was just an answer,” he said before walking off. 

His mind was racing, the past few weeks he’d spent his spare time wrestling with asking you to prom until he eventually planned something. It was true that you had turned everyone down, and he knew why. You were still holding on to your end of the deal from seventh grade, and he was too. He had asked no girl out and turned down the flock of girls that asked him out to prom. 

Practice was almost done and he looked at you, breaking into a smile you waved and he waved back. The book had disappeared in your bag and he knew that you had most likely finished it halfway through practice. Being friends through the years meant that you’d developed an unspoken routine, you would read before his practice started and occasionally set the book down to observe him and sometimes go as far as to cheer for him. Seeing you clapping for him always brought a smile to his face and pushed him to score more during games. 

A sweaty Joe ran over to you, he set his helmet down and you looked at him with a grin. “Hey Joey,” you said. “Hey Belle,” he said using the nickname he had for you. In response, you giggled, “Are you done?” you asked. “Mhm, we can go soon,” he said while he dried his face with a towel. Wordlessly you handed him his water bottle and he smiled. “It was a good practice, you looked good out there,” You said. He cocked his eyebrow at you and your cheeks flushed, “Playing, I mean” you added clearing your throat. “Of course, nothing else,” he said standing up. You furrowed your brow, he was being a little fidgety but you ignored it. Slinging his bag over his shoulder he said goodbye to his teammates and you walked off the field and got into his car. 

“Do you want to come in?” you asked, “No I’m good, open your window after dinner,” he said. “Okay, is there a reason?” you asked confused “Just open the window Belle,” he said winking. “Don’t do anything stupid,” you said before kissing his cheek and walking inside. 

Joe’s leg was bouncing under the table, “Joe you nervous for the game?” Jimmy asked concerned, “No, it’s something else,” he said. “Is it Y/N?” his dad asked. “How’d you know?” he asked. His parents smiled, “It’s not that hard for us to see it, honey,” his mom said. “You like her,” Jimmy said nudging him. Joe chuckled, “Y-yeah I like her a lot,” he said. “She likes you too, but don’t tell her I said that,” Robin said with a wink. “Go,” Jimmy urged and he darted up the stairs, before opening his room door, he breathed in and out and fixed his hair. 

When he opened his door, his attention went next door. You were lying in bed with a new book held high above your head. Faintly he heard some music playing and took a breath before grabbing the box from under his bed. Your window was open and he walked towards him, he whistled and your head cocked to the side. Climbing out of bed you made it to your window. “You okay Joey?” you asked. “I’m gonna climb in!” he exclaimed. Your eyes went wide, “You’re crazy!” you called back. “Maybe!” he replied. “Use the front door dumbass you can hurt yourself,” you stated. 

Joe ignored you and grabbed the box as he climbed up, he could hear you muttering and he chuckled. Carefully he walked over to the edge of the roof and jumped. Your hand shot out and he grabbed it, you were hanging out the window. “You’re fucking crazy!” You said and he just laughed as he pulled himself up. With a yelp, you tumbled backward and fell on the floor. Joe’s arms were protectively around you, your noses were touching. Gulping you pulled apart and slapped his shoulder, he laughed and helped you both up. 

“Why in the heavens did you jump out the window? You could’ve hurt yourself, Joey,” you said. “Not the point, here. I got this for you,” he replied while handing you a black cardboard box. Smiling you grabbed his hand and you sat in your bed. The black box was between you and carefully you undid the blue ribbon. Opening the box you saw some pictures you’d both taken over the years. Your eyes watered a little and Joe wiped a stray tear from your face. A copy of your favorite book was in there and you grabbed it, “Was this the one I gave to you?” you inquired. Joe nodded, “Open it, there’s something in there,” he said. Opening the book your eyes scanned across the dedication page and saw a post-it with his handwriting. Will you be my prom date?

Laughing you looked at him, “Yes, I’ll be your prom date!” you said and hugged him. Joe pulled back and kissed you sweetly. The action shocked you but you kissed back, “This might be late because you already got into Yale and I’m going to Ohio State but, I love you, like actually love you,” he said looking at you. “And I know it’s crazy because Yale is nine hours and thirty-two minutes away but I want to date you, so will you be my girlfriend?” he asked. Chuckling you grabbed his hands, “I love you too and yes I’ll be your girlfriend,” you said with a laugh. 

“We’re really doing this huh,” he said while holding your hands. “Finally,” you said with a laugh. Joe laughed, “Would’ve been sooner if I had just asked you in freshman year,” he said. “Maybe it happened now because it was meant to be that way,” you said with a smile. “Since when did you know?” he asked. Reaching up you stroked his cheek, “It started in eighth grade, the day you reached up to get me the book and we almost kissed,” you said with a chuckle. “Me too,” he said with a laugh. 

“I was scared so I never said anything because I didn’t want to lose you,” you spoke. Joe pressed his forehead against yours, “Belle I don’t think nothing could’ve made you lose me,” he said. “You’re so cheesy, Joseph!” you exclaimed and he laughed. You stayed there for a few minutes, “You should go, you need to rest. Friday is a big day,” you said. Joe pecked your lips, “Wear my shirt, please” he said. You nodded, “Always, the back door is unlocked c’mon,” you said. 

Sneaking out of your room you led him outside through the backyard and crossed into his yard. His hand was on the door outside and as you turned to leave he grabbed your waist. Spinning you around he pressed a quick kiss to your lips and you smiled before kissing back and leaving him there to go inside. 

When he made it to his room he waved at you from the window and drew a heart in the air, you giggled and mimicked him. 

“Truth dare spin bottles, you know how to ball, l know Aristotle”

You had finished your degree and had come to Baton Rouge for Joe’s last game with LSU. They had won the NCAA and you smiled when you saw him hoist the trophy over his head. His teammates cheered and you laughed while wiping a tear from your face. Both of your parents were there along with Jimmy and Robin, you waited for him in the field and you grinned once he saw you. Last month he won the Heisman Trophy and you couldn’t have been prouder. Everything he had worked so hard for was falling into place, the next step was the NFL and you were certain he was going to get drafted. 

With a grin plastered on his face and backward cap, he ran over to you and picked you up. Spinning you around you giggled and held on to him, gently he set you down and dipped his head to kiss you. You smiled into the kiss and pulled apart, “I’m proud of you Joey,” you said holding onto his face. “Right back at ya Belle,” he said and you smiled. His parents hugged him and so did yours, his arm was around you and you looked up at him with a dopey grin and love-filled eyes.

You were with him at his parent's house when he got drafted first overall for the Cincinnati Bengals. When you got hired at the University of Cincinnati the next day he was by your side. Both of you had shared victories and defeats together, after all these years it was amazing to see that your support for each other never wavered. You had seen each other grow over the years, you’d supported each other through the ups and downs and when either of you needed an extra nudge you were there. 

End of Flashback

“Belle, you’re even better the Heisman and the Lombardi,” Joe said and you chuckled. “I love you too,” you replied. Joe kissed your forehead, “Hey you were right all those years ago,” you said. Joe chuckled knowing what you meant, “You’re a Literature professor in college and I’m in the NFL,” he said. Laughing you kissed him, “You know how to ball and I know Aristotle.” He looked at you and grinned, with every glance, laugh, kiss and touch you felt like it was high school all over again. 

(all photo credits go to the respective owners)

[partywithponies]

I watched @quinton-reviews 's new video and I wanted to do my set homework and come up with my own dream Nicktoons Unite team, except I never had any of the american channels growing up and I'm not familiar with a lot of these shows.

But nevermind, I came up with a compromise. Here's my concept for if they did a Nicktoon Unite style game but with CBBC and CBeebies characters:

1) Danger Mouse: reboot DM in particular is the obvious pick to replace Jimmy Neutron in this lineup. He's already dealt with cross-universe travel and portals in canon, and he has Professor Squawkencluck, who already just invents whatever device the plot requires. He's both practised enough at saving the world to be believable in these situations, while still being incompetent enough to need help from the others. Plus it'd be fun to see how his massive ego would react to these other guys.

2) Victor from The Secret Show: the most niche pick here, but come on. He's literally a secret agent. I'm not going to leave him out. (I dithered over whether to include Victor or Anita since I could only pick one. I chose Victor not because I'm sexist but because I just really want to hear Danger Mouse deliver the "Victor! Are you still alive?" line.)

3) Postman Pat: Now I know this looks like an insane choice. I know that making a postman fight baddies in life or death situations is ludicrous. But listen. Postman Pat: The Movie did it first. Blame them, not me.

4) Dennis The Menace: People who've never read The Beano might think that an un-superpowered 10 year old boy would be way out of his depth on a team with three adult men, two of whom literally fight evil for their job. But people who have read The Beano know that in canon Dennis has already thwarted alien invasions, travelled through time many times and dealth with the ramifications of changing the past AND avoided being beheaded, fought killer robots and man eating plants and sea monsters, toppled multiple dictatorships, got the British prime minister arrested, and fought climate change by going directly to the source and tearing down the factories. Whatever these games could possibly throw at him would be just another tuesday for Dennis.

5) Tiny Clanger: she's kind of the Spongebob of the group, both in the sense that high stakes situations and saving the world are really not what she usually does, but she would if she had to, and in the sense that she'd be the heart of the group. DM, Victor, and Dennis are all kind of self-centred assholes at heart who only save the world because no-one else will, and Pat is a middle aged British man (and therefore emotionally repressed), while Tiny Clanger is unfailingly loving, and kind, and friendly, and empathetic. Also her best friend in the world is a large metal bird, and I think Tiny suddenly riding around on the Iron Chicken would be a really cool power up for her.

[majunju]

I'm ashamed it took me so long to figure out but

I used to be in the Fe3h Fandom ( well still is but to a lesser extent) and I couldn't help thinking that your style reminded me of something, but I was never able to figure out what..

I just did 🤣🤣🤣

I originally know you for the Dimileth art where young Dimitri meet the Old one and Y!Dimitri is freaking out bc?? He's married? To the professor??

THEY HAVE A KID??

Like the amount of time I kept just looking at it bc it's just so funny but also extremely adorable

That turned into a bit of a ramble lmak my bad

But ye! I finally had my Eureka moment about how and why your style was familiar 🤣🤣🤣

AHAHA it's always so cool to see ppl recognise me from all my different eras i love getting the occasional "OH YOU WERE *THAT* ARTIST" whenever i pop up on someone's tl again... thank u for enjoying my dimileth art <3

[satansapostle6]

The Crush | Percy Jackson

Percy Jackson is a cool, simple guy who is also the famous son of Poseidon who helped save the world. But, talking to the pretty girl in his English class still seems impossible.

Warnings: Mature themes/language. Violence. Sexual content.

Chapter One: Pussy Jackson

Percy sat behind Chloé in English. She was tall and intimidating, and he didn’t know if he’d ever be able to work up the courage to talk to her. Sure, he wasn’t in high school anymore, but he still felt nervous around her like he was sixteen years old again. Chloé Jardine was, after all, the prettiest girl he had ever seen.

He knew Chloé was a Roman demigod, a daughter of Nox, the Roman equivalent of Nyx, the goddess of darkness and the night. She was a fairly typical child of Nox, a sort of minimalistic goth.

She had long, pitch black hair, with tiny micro bangs partially covering her forehead. She was also noticeably pale, as if she only ever went out at nighttime. Most people thought she looked scary, but Percy thought she looked magical.

Chloé had a decent amount of tattoos, including a pretty sizable spider web on her neck. She had a lot of piercings, including an eyebrow piercing and a vertical labret on her lip. She didn’t really wear makeup, but she was very obviously a goth. She was smart, and she didn’t talk a lot at all, which drove Percy insane. He made it his mission in life to know as much about her as possible.

Every time he saw her wearing a band T-shirt of some kind to school, he’d make a note of the band name and look it up later if he wasn’t familiar, and listen to all of the songs he could find.

So far, he’d listened to Type O Negative, Bauhaus, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Sisters of Mercy, Kittie, and Rob Zombie, only affirming his opinion that she was the coolest person on earth. His best friend, Grover, thought the behavior was just a little bit obsessive, but didn’t really think it was that bad.

That day in his college English course, he was sitting in his seat, listening to Soundgarden during the lecture on his laptop with the tab open, secretly hoping Chloé would have some some reason to walk back and look at his computer screen. Soundgarden wasn’t goth, of course, but Percy had seen her wear one of their shirts.

“Hey! Pussy Jackson!”

Percy frowned to see Clarisse La Rue sitting in a seat a couple rows behind him.

“Move your fat fucking head, I can’t see!”

“‘I’m doing fine, thank you, Clarisse’,” he mocked her under his breath. “‘How was your weekend’?”

Percy was startled to look up to see Chloé turned around in front of him.

“Will you two shut the fuck up?!” she whispered, staring at them in disbelief.

Percy’s face must have been beet red as he tried his hardest not to explode. He was dying of embarrassment as he tried to come up with some sort of answer.

“Uh, yeah! Sorry!” he apologized in a whisper.

Chloé just turned back around, shaking her head as she continued taking messy notes on the assignment due dates. Percy leaned forward slightly, looking curiously at her notebook. He found her handwriting interesting; it was kind of small with a lot sharp edges, written in haste without being too messy, almost like a doctor’s handwriting.

Percy knew he must’ve been lost in his horny ADHD world, because before he knew it, the instructor had just finished announcing the next project, a group project worth 20% of his grade.

“Alright, the groups are posted up here, so you can all come and take a look. You’ll have the rest of this class to figure out a presentation topic and get started,” the professor, a woman in her forties, announced as she retreated to her desk.

Alarmed by the words ‘groups’ and ‘presentation’, Percy anxiously made his way down to the whiteboard with everyone else, terrified to receive his group assignment. He prayed silently that he’d get at least one smart kid in his group, and zero Clarisse’s. As he slowly scanned the list of names up and down, his face went pale as he found his other two group mates. Clarisse La Rue and Chloé Jardine.

Percy wanted to kill himself immediately. Not only did he have to work with Clarisse, but he also had to figure out how to work with Chloé, who had just told him to shut the fuck up not two seconds ago, the first words she had ever spoken to him. He glanced back at Clarisse, who was standing beside Chloé. Neither of them looked very happy about the group assignment.

Percy glanced over at the peofessor’s desk, contemplating whether he should try and get a different group. He decided against it, figuring he’d had enough embarrassment for one day. Signing as he realized he’d have to face Chloé eventually, he walked over to where the girls were standing, ready to face the music. He’d fought monsters and faced imminent doom before, and somehow this felt exactly the same.

“I’m not doing all of the work,” Chloé crossed her arms.

“What makes you think you’d be doing all the work?!” Clarisse asked defensively.

“Because I’m in a group with you!”

“Hey…” Percy waved awkwardly, trying to break the ice, which seemed to also somehow be scalding hot.

“Oh, yeah. You’re in this group too,” Clarisse rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, unfortunately,” Percy retaliated childishly.

“Okay. We need to come up with a topic,” Chloé reminded them. “Which one should our presentation be about?”

“What are the options?” Percy asked, watching as she just let out a long sigh.

The next hour of class went by as slowly as possible. By the end of it, Clarisse had stormed out of the classroom, and Percy and Chloé were left sitting together exhaustedly. Chloé sighed as she got up, heading out of the building as Percy followed her.

“Sorry about Clarisse,” he offered sympathetically. “She drives everyone who has to deal with her insane.”

“Yeah, I’m starting to get that,” Chloé nodded.

*****

Percy felt odd, and completely out of place the entire time he sat in class discussing the project with Chloé. Every time she spoke to him, he felt more stupid. He knew nothing about what he wanted to do for the project, and he was even less prepared to answer these questions when asked by Chloé Jardine. And of course, Clarisse also being a part of the group didn’t help.

But Percy figured it was almost worth it, getting to work on the project with Chloé, with her cool hair, tattoos and piercings, and blue eyes, the same icy blue eyes that mesmerized him when he spoke to her. Percy had to clear his throat and check his breath twice before smiling at her as she turned, just having ordered a coffee from the kiosk nearby.

“Hey,” Percy wheezed, realizing how eager he sounded stalk to her, cursing himself silently.

“Hi,” Chloé said with slight surprise, sipping the warm coffee.

She looked at him expectantly, wondering what it was he could’ve possibly had to say to her. Chloé had already done a brief mental scan of Percy; she knew that he was the Greek son of Poseidon, by his shaggy black hair and sea green eyes.

She knew from the perpetual dopey expression on his face that he was attracted to her in some way. She’d seen the way he looked at her and assumed that it was mostly more sexual than emotional, based on the way his eyes lingered on her skin and the way he was constantly averting his eyes from her chest.

“See you,” Chloé smiled, politely excusing herself as she walked away.

“Fuck,” Percy muttered under his breath as he watched her walk away.

He sighed in defeat as he watched Chloé walk away from him, thinking of a hundred things in that moment he wished he’d said to her.

“It’ll never happen, you know.”

Percy whipped around quickly, alarmed as he turned around in the direction of the voice he’d heard. Naturally, the disapproving voice had belonged to Annabeth, his sharp-witted child of Athena ex-girlfriend.

“What?” Percy questioned defensively.

“You and Chloé,” she responded promptly.

Percy crossed his arms. “What makes you think—”

“That you’re infatuated with her?” she asked him. “I know you, Jackson.”

“I’m not infatuated with Chloé,” Percy rolled his eyes at her.

“Well. Infatuated or not, her ex-boyfriend is Sean Morley. The son of Apollo?” Annabeth Chase smirked. “With the blond hair, and the shoulders?”

“Why are you so invested?” he ignored her, questioning her skeptically.

Annabeth smiled, patting his shoulder sympathetically. “Because. It’s fun watching you refuse to learn,” she said as her demeanor softened.

Annabeth walked off and disappeared, leaving Percy to do a lot of thinking.

-

Chapter Two

[lemondemonpickuplines]

Hey girl are you Hyakugojyuuichi 2003? 'Cause Hey you, sit down and listen

Don't be flippant and don't be dismissin'

Think you're a Flash encyclopedia?

Eating, breathing Macromedia?

Think you're cool sayin' "All Your Base"?

Get that Xiao Xiao outta my face

You gotta be kidding me with that crap

Animutation's where it's at

Nine outta ten sociopaths agree

You gotta see Hyakugojyuuichi

From the Moch to the Rie to the Pee to the Wee

Just take it from me, MC NC

You won't believe your eyes, you'll go insane

I mean, what's up with that plastic plane?

You're an idiot if you disagree

You gotta see Hyakugojyuuichi

If you got the time, go grab a pen

And watch that thing again and again

Try to figure it out, what does it mean?

What's the significance of Mr. Bean?

Does anybody know? Are there any takers?

What's up with all the broken pacemakers?

The world is full of speculation

But nobody cracks this Animutation

Nine outta ten sociopaths agree

You gotta see Hyakugojyuuichi

You're an idiot if you disagree

Just take it from MC (Ah!) NC

You won't believe your eyes, you'll go insane (Aaah!)

I mean, what's up with that plastic plane? (Aaah!)

From the Moch to the Rie to the Pee to the Wee (Aaah!)

You gotta see Hyakugojyuuichi (Aaah!)

(1... 2... 3... Hit it!)

Wakeman is biased, like a household appliance

Hello Kitty and McGruff have an unholy alliance

Science is brutal and it cuts like a knife

Not even Obi-Wan can save the yodel of life

Your name is Bob, you're my heart-throb

I lost my job when I got fired

By a guy named Farchie, he was full of starch

He smelled like an orangutan's old apartment

Found a hobo in my room, what do I do?

He looks dead, he's full of lead

Bleeding red onto my bedspread

And he also seems to be missing his head

Why am I holding this gun and axe?

Do exploding pacemakers cause heart attacks?

Will Mr. Bean ever get his fill

Or will he just keep on telling me to kill?

Hey, don't you gimme that look!

You never had what it took

I took the beef and I beefed it up

You sat and whined while I took the cup

Of gold. You are getting old

When you see my face you better fold

Take this mop and shove it, boy

'Cause it's the only way you'll be employed

I am known as the Beef Bastard

(Everyone knows I'm the ultimate master)

I am known as the Beef Bastard

(Everyone else is a walking disaster)

I am known as the Beef Bastard

(Think you're fast? Well I know I'm faster!) (Ye-ye-ye-ye)

I am known as the Beef Bastard

(Everyone knows I'm the ultimate master) (Ye-ye-ye-ye)

Ma-ma-ma [*laughing*]

Ma-ma

Beef Bastard!

Weeeell I'm Shmorky! Eatin' PORKY!

Whitey rap sure sounds dorky!

Got a girl... she's a DOUBLE D!

I slap her on the butt dressed as a bumble bee!

I eat paste all damn day

I was in a Shakespeare play

I sit down on a Lazy Susan

Spin around like TOMMY CRUISIN!

Bong bong bing bing

I get payed to play with my thing!

I zip out zip in zip up BEGIN!

ROOM WITH A MOOSE! Jay Leno's CHIN!

Ambulance, Enron, Pee Wee, Pokémon

Bulbasaur, Pikachu, Jigglypuff, THEY CHOOSE YOU!

And I can't think of anymore to say

TV says doughnuts are high in fat, kazoo (キミたちとの　であいはぜんぶ)

Found a hobo in my room (ちゃんと　おぼえてる)

It's Princess Leia, the yodel of life (きずつけあった　こともあったけど)

Give me my sweater back or I'll play the guitar! (それは（え～と）わすれた)

It's Steve's Adventure!

(Go, go, go, go)

(Go, go, go, go)

(Go, go, go, go)

(Go, go, go, go)

One-fifty-one Pokémon on the run

Suzuki-san is a formation of a bun

And a veggie burger with tsukemono

Jay-Jay has flown away with Sonny Bono

To the afterlife to visit Barney Fife

And to see Pero's screenshots of his wife

Named Chris Benoit, wearing a pretty dress

Saying "Watashi wa animutation ga suki desu."

Do the Mario! Isty-bitsy hockey

Lipsnot is not magic like a monkey

Captain Lou body-slams a rubber duckie

Just like in the match of Earth vs. Funky

Lucky Lucky nice to Mew-two

I need tea for two, how about you

Mr. Coldheart, or should I say Professor?

It looks like Lesko got revenge on my dresser

Props to Neil, he's the real deal

His friends all call him Mr. Popiel

He's the computer geek who doesn't shower for a week

His looks are hot, his clothes are CHIC!

He singlehandedly changed the face of the net

He's an online semi-celebrity you won't forget

He stormed onto the scene like a raging thunder

His seizure inducing flag says "Mr. Gahbunga."

Hey kids! Komiyona?

Omiyo mokemon halibudo

Halimatashinta, Pokinumushimi da

Watago get ready to rumble! (1... 2... 3... Hit it!)

Bamba-jidda-babla-biga

Hedimana-gina-hamana-gita

Hana-buto-halo-gini (Ye-ye-ye-ye-ma-ma)

Ala-pone-koala-bedi (Ye-ye-ye-ye-ma-ma)

Anamu-dada, ona-dote

Omanama-zenba-bolo-ho

Puyawa-dirbu-kowa-fuji (Ye-ye-ye-ye-ma-ma)

Waruma-ina-hada-bidi! (Ye-ye-ye-ye-ma-ma)

Teyo-mata, elino-wen

Hadawata-buto-bito-bed

Amatawa-jupto-hubba-pati

Fola-coola Colin Mochrie!

TV says doughnuts are high in fat, kazoo (キミたちとの　であいはぜんぶ)

Found a hobo in my room (ちゃんと　おぼえてる)

It's Princess Leia, the yodel of life (きずつけあった　こともあったけど)

Give me my sweater back or I'll play the guitar! (��れは（え～と）わすれた)

There you have it, that's the game

One-fifty-one, we can all be the same

I'm sure that it's been appetizing

With all the subliminal advertising

This has been a celebration, Animutation fans across the nation

In formation raise their hands in dedication

To the crazy-flashing-psychopathic-happy-dancing-super-magic-

Power-mega-ultra-kitschy (Hyakugojyuuichi)

Nine outta ten sociopaths agree

You gotta see Hyakugojyuuichi

From the Moch to the Rie to the Pee to the Wee

Just take it from me, MC NC

You won't believe your eyes, you'll go insane

I mean, what's up with that plastic plane?

You're an idiot if you disagree

You gotta see Hyakugojyuuichi

.

[yuusishi]

Bro your writing is literally so cute and it makes me smile so hard man!!

I was wondering if I could request Floyd Ace and Malleus with an Edward Elric reader? (Basically really smart and comes from a non magic world where the powers used is alchemy also is really short for their age (149 cm) and hates when anyone calls them short reader also has a mechanical right arm and left leg)

Imagine Floyd just popping off the reader’s left leg and running away with it or sm and the reader chases after him at full speed with a makeshift leg they made using alchemy

. . . Alchemical Genius

pairings : Floyd Leech , Ace Trappola , Malleus Draconia x gn!Edward Elric!reader

genre : fluff

cws/tws : stealing of prosthetic limbs as a joke?? (<- non graphic descriptions)

a/n : sorry that Malleus’ part is like pretty short compared to the others I’m becoming like really sleepy as I’m finishing this

Floyd Leech !!

Finds your mechanical limbs so damn cool!! There isn’t much merfolk down in the Coral Sea that use prosthetics and he really only was properly introduced to them when he made it on land so he was fascinated with you like a science experiment.

But even if he finds your stuff cool…that won’t stop him from teasing you for your height…

I mean c’mon, he’s 6’1 (185cm) and you’re 4’8 (149cm), he can’t NOT take the opportunity.

Because of it, he tends to pick you up as if you were as light as a feather whenever you started getting annoyed at him. Either running around the hallway or just simply picking you up to spin you around (he holds your mechanical limbs while doing so though because he’s not entirely sure if they can just…fall off.)

But the rule is that only he can do that, only he can tease his Shrimpy like that >:( Anyone else will get squeezed hard with no hesitation.

Comes to you every time he’s too lazy to do alchemy homework and no matter how much you deny him you know you’ll end up giving him the answers, but when you're in the mood you'll just explain things to him (even when he understands it anyways) just to bore him enough to do the homework himself.

In the situation he just outright steals a mechanical limb from you...it could become quite the regular sight, Floyd running with a detached metal leg around the hallways while you blast yourself full speed at him to get it back using a temporary alchemy-made leg.

Ace Trappola !!

Thinks your mechanical limbs are cool v2. And you're good at alchemy? He def scored on friends in his first year.

Him scoring high on friends doesn't mean he scored high in alchemy though, with you not allowing him to copy your answers. And he learned not to bother you about it after the last time Professor Trein had to break him and you apart after he annoyed you a tad bit too much for the alchemy questions...

Honestly he doesn’t really have much to comment about your mechanical limbs like at all. He found them cool at first because “wow you have metal limbs” but after a while it’s just become as normal as biological limbs.

Especially since the most that can be seen is your hand and occasionally your ankle since the NRC uniforms are long sleeves, so they never drew too much attention in the first place.

Unbelievably jealous that you’re one of the top scorers in alchemy class since you were already very well-versed in alchemy from your studies and job in your old world. I mean, how does he even think of besting someone that was the youngest State Alchemist?!

He keeps up with whoever’s on the number one spot during exams since it’s ALWAYS either you, Riddle, or Azul.

You’re the shortest in the friend group and Ace teases about it from time to time but most of the time he just lowkey forgets about it, even when he literally has to look down to talk to you.

Malleus Draconia !!

Extreme height difference v2, this time it qualifies as a long distance relationship.

But also forgets about it, I mean he’s 6’5 and has had Lilia as his guardian for years, he doesn’t care for something as trivial as height differences.

The thing about you that makes him the most curious would be your prosthetics.

The people of Briar Valley heavily rely on magic, so even when there were veterans who’s limbs were cut off during the war they’d just use magic to do day-to-day things.

So having you, a human with replacement limbs, in front of him really piqued his curiosity. He’d ask a few questions and tried not to tread too far and possibly ask something too personal, but sometimes he’d do just that without meaning to.

It ticked you off, yeah, but you tried to understand where he’s coming from and cool down before telling him that you didn’t want to answer it (to which he’d be understanding of.)

He’d also be impressed that you became a State Alchemist back at your world at such a young age, he even pitied you slightly since you seemed to have such a bright future before getting plucked off to Twisted Wonderland.

Occasionally keeps up with whoever’s the top scorer during exams since you, Azul, and Riddle always seem to be competing with each other, this became even more apparent during housewarden meetings (whenever he got invited to it at least.)

[fairmerthefarmer]

I’ve been thinking about the Magicians Nephew, right now specifically Polly Plummer and in an attempt to get back into doing art outside of work.

I’ve been thinking of what she’d maybe look like in the book and then as she ages (except it turns out I have such a hard time visualizing the passage of time in decades I was not alive in)

most of the references I looked at for clothes was anywhere from 1900-1940s. Maybe some late Victorian in her younger dresses? Not sure. Mostly Edwardian.

I like to think of her definitely going to school, and then becoming a journalist. She’s super sharp and level headed in the Magicians Nephew, and also has an interest in writing.

Also she definitely wore pants.

More rambling stuff under the cut if you’re specifically like me and fixated on Narnia for most of your life

Ok so c.s. Lewis isn’t very well known for his like, accuracy/timelines making sense. (The beavers somehow had potatoes and other vegetables despite it being a 100 year winter).

The magicians nephew takes place in somewhere between 1900-1910, cause that’s his childhood. And then LWW takes place in the 1940s, so like at the oldest Digory and Polly would be in their 50s by then, but also Digory is an old eccentric professor with white hair?

(I could be wrong and maybe that does work timeline wise, and I suppose in different eras, 50s is a lot older. My brain just doesn’t compute that at ALL. At the very least the movie version of the professor DOESNT look like he’s only in his 50s with how they made him look.)

I am also not a clothing expert at all, but it’s cool looking up fashion from different eras. I slightly interpret Polly as having a rich family because her first thought seeing digory is “oh he’s dirty”. I think it’s a thing that richer Edwardian children were usually dressed in light colours which wrapping my head around is tough, cause like, are their play clothes also white?

[hestella]

Hannibal Lector: A New Face

A/N: I'm currently not done watching Hannibal so there are A LOT of mistakes and it probably won't make any sense lol please tell me out of the kindness of your heart if you want me to fix anything or want to let me know. Also some scenes are improvised by me, I don’t own any characters except for my OC(which is, well, you), all credits to Hannibal NBC and Red Dragon series. LOVE YOU ALL

Warnings: mentions of violence, sexual violence, blood, murder, use of Y/N(cause I can't think of a cool name), Fem!reader, kind of POC reader?, psychopath reader, trauma, mental illness, BLIND READER

Will Graham was gifted a special talent, the talent to see and read a person's mind, no matter how wicked or broken it was, he was able to know exactly what and why and how. His talents were greatly appreciated from the FBI, especially solving murder cases.

He had some of friends, but there was one particular and close friend he had, her name being Y/N.

She seemed to be also have a special natural-born talent. After an unfortunate event, she was permanently blinded and needed to have a walking sick with her, but she still was able to memorize and observe the smallest details of practically anything she felt and heard. Her talent was also what the FBI needed, but she never actually applied, or even participate on those kinds of stuff, unlike Will.

In fact, she was just a plain old professor, teaching philosophy, she gave lectures in colleges and universities for a living.

At first Hannibal thought she was boring, until he actually got to meet her.

When Jack got to know Will, it wasn't that long after he also got to know Y/N. Will constantly mentioned her, about her abilities and how she would have thought about some things. Will knew better than to actually mention FBI cases to her, but the other way, there wasn't anything stopping him. If Will was doing lectures, not with the FBI, Jack automatically sought her for help. She reluctantly accepted, not because of the work itself but for Will, thinking that he would heal when she solved some cases for him, giving him a break. She had control of her lectures, so she was at least more flexible than Will. And with all seriousness, she was good. It was different from Will’s way of investigation, but she was able to collect evidence according to the case and end up with a conclusion, which actually helped Jack a lot, since Will’s investigation relied on his assumptions, that he himself couldn't really make sense.

"Whoever that killed these girls probably has some kind of women that look like those victims. It can be a daughter, a long gone crush, a mother...someone that they have deep connection, whether it's positive or negative. That makes them most likely a male." She explained, after listening to all the information she needed.

"We already assumed that this was a male, unintentionally. Any other observations?" Jack said.

"It's most likely a daughter, though. Young, all from different campuses. He chose these campuses specifically, I'd say, probably one his daughter goes to, or is planning to go to." She continued. "However..." She stood up, walking towards the board with the pictures, wandering her walking stick from side to side.

"He...he has a thing for killing. he's not doing this for pleasure, it's...it's more like art. Precise, like....." she turned around. "...like those people who hunt wildlife." she said.

"...what?" Jack asked.

She bit her lips, not knowing how to say it. "...like those people, I can't, I can't explain it." She looked towards Will, or just turned around where she sensed he was, for help.

Will nodded. "..yeah, I get it. I can see that, wildlife hunters."

"He probably also owns some personal space, like a cabin, out in the woods where he can dissect and dress the animals he hunts. That's probably where he killed these girls too. He would have been used to it, if he used to, or still currently is a hunter." She muttered.

"Yes, where he can butcher, cool, and storage animals, and apparently people. Even if someone accidentally saw blood or, smelled something from there, it makes sense because it's for that purpose, except it's for animals." Will continued.

She nodded and looked back at Jack, her eyes not really focusing exactly to him. "...did that help?" she asked.

"...quite." Jack looked at her only white eyes.

“im glad,” she gave him a faint smile. “But I’ve been trying to ask…is there someone else here? Apart from Will, me, and you?”

“allow me to introduce myself, Ms. Y/L/N, I’m doctor Hannibal Lector. I apologize for my unintentional ambush,” Hannibal stood upon respect, even if she couldn’t see.

“ah, so you were the one. I thought I was having delusions,” she turned her head to face him, her white eyes staring somewhat at Hannibal. She walked towards him and reached out her hand, which Hannibal accepted gently and respectfully. “No need to apologize, Dr. Lector.” She gave him a smile too.

“I should say you’re quite flexible on communicating, even though you’re visually impaired. Different from Will, you try to have eye contact with people. No offense, by all means,” Hannibal muttered his short observation.

“I’m not offended, it’s true. But there’s no need to psychoanalyze me, doctor.” She let go of his hand and reminded him, slithering away from Hannibal’s attempt to make her step out of her circle.

Hannibal wasn’t able to get a hold of her. She rarely talked, but rather tried to hint the FBI about the evidence. He tried inviting her to dinner but she was always somehow reserved. She surely seemed careful about who to let in her circle.

Hannibal tried to step into her personal space by packing up food that he made and giving them to her. He planned to do that to Will too, getting to know him and partially using it to show her what kind of a person he was. His plan was this: pack breakfast for Will, then let Will tell this event to her, and then eventually making her comfortable enough for him to make breakfast for her too. It was getting two rabbits by one stone.

Hence, that was what happened. A second of silence surrounded the two, as they chewed and swallowed the food.

“Agent Crawford told me you have a knack for the monsters,” Hannibal mentioned.

Will put down his fork and looked at him. “..I don’t think the Shrike killed the girl in the field.”

Hannibal also put down his fork and leaned a bit forward. “The devil is in the details. What didn’t your copycat do to the girl in the fields? What gave it away?”

“..everything. It’s like, he had to show me a negative to prove that-“ he sighed. “Y/N would’ve explain it better,” he muttered. “it’s like he had to show me a negative so that-so that I could see the positive.” He rubbed his face.

“….Y/N?” Hannibal muttered.

“Crawford wants her. I don’t want her to be, but I feel like she can see more than I can.” Will looked around. Hannibal noticed this.

“…May I ask you a question, Will?” Hannibal said, his breakfast long forgotten. Will just waved his hand, nodding his head. “Do you live with someone else here?”

“..yeah, we, Y/N and I thought it wouldn’t be that bad of an idea, rather than getting separate rooms…” Will explained. Hannibal nodded. So that was the thing he felt was off about the house. He was honestly surprised, but didn’t let that out.

“where is she, then? Sleeping? I would love to share this meal with her too, if she can,”

“She leaves at 4 in the morning to go to her job.” Will replied, taking another bite of the food. “and she’s strictly vegan, so I don’t think she’ll be able to eat any of these,”

“I see. Her job, which is..”

“Teaching. Modern philosophy at Johns Hopkins.”

“ah, Johns Hopkins. I should’ve known.” Hannibal almost gave him a smile.

With the additional information, it was too easy for Hannibal to roll Jack Crawford up and persuade her to be one of his patients too. He added a little bit of extra reasoning with her injury, telling Jack perhaps the right therapy may make her sense more, and less be obstacled by her blindness. It wasn’t his initial goal to help her sense like a not-visually-impaired person, but he was confident it was possible.

He decided to pay a visit to her lectures.

(Should I make this a series??)