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#but i know thats not what teaching is about LMAO we all will have students who dont want to do it or arent quick on the up-tick
sandwicz · 1 year
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Twisted Wonderland as quotes me and my friends said + teachers too pt. 2
Warnings: profanities, mention of cockroaches, some might be ooc, Rook
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*in the science club*
Rook: "i made a reverse filter :D"
Rook: "i turn clean water into dirty water"
Trey: "..."
Vargas: "Trappola... This is why you won't have a girlfriend in the future"
Epel: *shows a poster he made thats just memeable and very messy, kinda like a sh*tpost. Its for his presentation that's 30% his grade*
Epel: "Apple to coconut how bad is it"
Epel: "Apple = good, coconut = bad"
Epel: "all the fruits are included in between"
Ace: "its cherry then"
Epel: "idk if that's good or bad. i like cherry so its good"
Yuu: "Pear. Actually no its mango"
Epel: "I like mango so its good"
Yuu: *made a huge robot cockroach the size of a basketball(that walks slow) that's made out of cardboard for a project*
Yuu: *shows a pic and video of the project to some students*
Yuu: "cock"
Yuu: "this took forever"
Yuu: "i hate it"
Yuu: "it hath grown wings so it shall fly to the sun"
Yuu: "and i will sit and stare and salute as my papermade icarus flies ever onward”
Yuu: "... i think i lost it"
Floyd: *pokes jamil to show him the cockroach monstrosity* beetle?
Yuu: "i gave him wings don't you dare call him a beetle"
Jamil: *distraught and trying so hard to stop himself from burning the cockroach down* ...
*lets pretend NRC teaches students other languages other than english*
Leona: "what the f*ck the teacher slapped my hand"
Ruggie: "LMAO"
Jack: "what. ...why?"
Ruggie: *while laughing hard* "HE KNOWS YOU'RE SMART ITS JUST THAT YOU DIDNT WANNA PUT EFFORT"
Leona: "... this is why"
Ruggie: *still laughing while wheezing* "in the maths part of the (insert language here) exam Leona doesnt wanna calculate so instead, he wrote 0s to some of them and called it a day”
Jack: "..."
(yes our teacher did put math questions in our language exam)
Ace: “people are doing math the wrong way you guys be talking about x and y but never u and i”
Cater: “if i could rearrange the alphabet i’d put u and i together”
Cater: “you know why i like RNA better than DNA, because there’s U”
Riddle: “all these pickup lines and u all still single”
Deuce: "how do i fix my bad haircut"
Ace: "grow hair"
Deuce: "great idea"
Deuce: "never thought of that"
Deuce: "any other ideas"
Epel: "bald"
Ace: "bald"
Epel: "it's about drive it's about power"
Epel: "we stay hungry we devour"
Student A: "Sir Trein sucks, he doesn't deserve any teacher's day letter"
Deuce: *is pissed off* "HAA??!! U SHUT YOUR ASS"
Deuce: "What's your beanfest team HAH?"
Deuce: "I'll wipe it out."
Student A: " Your team."
Deuce: "oh."
Student A: "💀"
Vargas: "do you have a partner?"
Riddle: *confused at the sudden question* "...no?"
Vargas: *pats his shoulder* "no? Find someone in the future"
Yuu: "i read fire balls as furry balls"
Ace: "HAHAHAHA JACK'S FURRY BALLS LMAO"
Jack: "..."
Jack: "i hate you."
Riddle: *flabbergasted* "Cater. Yuu played tetris during class? Around the teacher?"
Cater: "Yeap"
Yuu: "ehe"
Riddle: *dissapointed noises*
Trey: "i'm surprised you didn't get caught"
Yuu: "ehe"
Floyd: *gets grouped with Epel, Lilia and Riddle for a group project*
Floyd: *decided to make a gc and determine the name of it*
Floyd: *names it "adorable midgets + floyd gc :D"
*few moments after they finally realized the gc name*
Epel: "FLOYD YOU MOTHERF*CKER IVE JUST REALIZED THE GC NAME"
Riddle: "YEAARGHHH FLOYD IT'S OFF WITH YOUR HEAD"
Lilia: *enjoying the chaos*
*in the middle of class*
*sound of a notif from an online shopping app*
Trein: "Who's notification is that? It must be from Cater, isn't it? Always shopping and checking social media"
*a few seconds later*
*sound of a notif from another online shopping app"
Trein: "Tsk tsk tsk... who is that? Who likes shopping so much? You already have an app for it and you have another one?"
Idia: "..." *hiding behind his tablet*
Bonus for all of yall, in case yall need it:
Yuu: *jokingly* "so how's the exam results? Were you dissapointed in us?"
Staff/character of your choice: “You can never disappoint me, i’m always proud of you”
Everybody: *tears up*
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psychewritesbs · 10 months
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hi! i didnt have much success when looking through ur blog to see if uve addressed this alrdy so apologies if u have.
i was curious to know ur thoughts on jjk's portrayals of gender, esp women/femininity. if u have particular insight from a psych or philosophy bg, id be interested in hearing that (warning, i have a v feminist critique lens)
ik u love gege's writing 😅 but his handle on female characters/femininity has given me such a difficult relationship w jjk, and its v difficult to have discourse on it. on one hand, we're introduced to sm interesting realistic women, tbh i actually never stanned a woman in manga before jjk. but imo it cant be denied that gege is a sexist writer. despite how realistic jjk women r theyre all .. halfwritten? i cant think of a single one who isnt underwritten, not fully explored, not utilized substantially in the plot, etc. and there r sm ex's of extremely minor male characters in jjk who r given more thematic relevance than frequently recurring women that just underscores that gender gap imo
this isnt solely a gege problem ik but what bothers me in particular about jjk vs other mangas is how gege addresses strength, even in the light of nb/androgynous characters, and how it feels as if gege's def of strength is inherently masculine? even despite going so far as to give us a philosophical battle shonen w diverse reps of gender and emphasizing individuality that encompasses both femme/masc traits
how a reader interprets whether a jjk woman is strong or not is obv subjective. like, i think shoko is strong but shes not depicted as such bc she doesnt have a combative technique whereas yuki maki nobara or mei r depicted as "strong" bc of their battle abilities. but it also feels as if those women r strong bc they take on "masculine" traits/mindsets whereas there r no clear depictions of "femininity" making women or men stronger. even utahime who falls into v classic shoujo girl tropes is seen as weak despite teaching her students v proficientally in battle strategy (mechamaru v mahito is a good ex of that imo), as compared to how gojo teaches his (ie dumping them into missions for experience). but thats not what gege ever chooses to highlight
femininity also doesnt even seem to make men/nb characters stronger. the ex's i can think of r naoya as a vagina (lmao), geto as a mother to curses, yuta as highly attuned to his emotions, kenjaku as yuji's mother -- those r things that support these (mostly) men's strong sense of individuality but like, those arent really the things that lend those characters their "strength", u know? like geges just sprinkling in androgyny for the spice 🧐
what is feminine vs masculine, how an individual embodies those traits in their gender identity r already complex topics. im obv generalizing a lot here, but i just, idk despite how many other nuanced philosophies gege explores, what is strong/desirable in jjk still falls down to all-out fighting abilities/physical prowess, emotional detachment, isolation, extremism, etc -- all things we harp on toxic masculinity for. and even when he critiques that, theres no cogent counter solution/way to be strong that gege provides, much less one that incorporates "femininity" and women
maybe im just asking for too much from gege after having read so many great representations of women and gender by female (and male) mangakas/writers but.. i shouldnt be 🙄 he can utilize his female characters more imo, esp when he can clearly set them up so well. and im sure theres things ive misread about jjk and its portrayal of femininity, theres plenty of holes in my thoughts ^^ anyways, this is obv not a great topic to bring up in a fandom that is so polarized between dudebros and women w unaddressed internalized misogyny.. so i welcome any and all thoughts and interpretations on ur end! (also omg im rlly sorry this got so long)
I love you feminist anon, if I may call you that lol, I just always name my anons 😂. I am so grateful that you sent this.
I feel like you've very eloquently explained the deeper reason as to why I personally can't relate to the female characters in jjk. If I'm honest, I like them and think they are fun and good enough representations or attempts at depicting the archetypes that rule their personalities.
As you say, however, some of them remain rather superficial and underutilized... and please forgive me anyone who loves them, but some of them feel like they are basically dudes wearing skirts.
No offense to dudes who wear skirts or people who like men who wear skirts or anyone for that matter. It's just that, as a personal preference, I like female characters that wear skirts, pants, leggings, etc and have equal amounts of masculine and feminine energy.
So, even if I find they are good enough, I've never necessarily loved jjk female characters, because, as you also say, I've read/seen one too many amazing and iconic female characters by other authors...
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And it's not like I think you're asking for too much from Gege in wanting better female characters, it's just that, as you also said, I like his writing and I read jjk precisely because of what it's doing for my masculine psyche. Like... quite literally.
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So perhaps I'm more forgiving than you are because of it? Because in all reality, there are female character moments in other manga that I have to give the bombastic side eye to, and jjk isn't one of them.
Let's taco'bout it more under the cut.
So, that said, I have to admit that you might not find a lot of "feminist oriented" content in my blog because my feminist lens is reserved for dealing with lame dudebros in my real life, and also, I honestly do not know how to wear the lens on the same level of depth as you do.
Also, since my blog's lens is depth psych, I very much focus on femininity and masculinity as psychological qualities that exist on opposite ends of a continuum regardless of biological gender. You'll see me refer to femininity and masculinity like this throughout my answer.
So because of this, I'm coming at the whole issue from a slightly different angle than you are. The way I see it, I think the way the jjk female characters are written and thematically utilized (basically everything you said), ultimately comes back to how Gege's exploration of femininity is limited by his own sense of self, and very much likely biased by the sociocultural landscape he grew up in.
I don't know how much you know about Japan, but Japan has one foot in the future, and one foot in the past...
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And like... ok I'm totally oversimplifying the whole thing. All I'm saying is... Gege is a man who grew up in a man's world, sharing his view of the world through jjk, which is a story about initiation of the male psyche that is published in a magazine for young boys.
Do you see the pattern there?
So If you feel like his female characters are underutilized and underexplored, and that thematically jjk focuses way too much on masculinity and masculine definitions of strength at the expense of the feminine archetypes he does present (like Naoya as a vagina LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL)... well... to me, we're basically looking at the limits of his own relationship to his femininity, which, this relationship is in turn an imperative precursor for psychospiritual development in depth psych. More of this in a bit.
Anyways, that's my anticlimactic reasoning for why I am more forgiving about the issue than you are. To be honest, I've been so consumed exploring my masculine psyche through jjk (because personally my feminine psyche is more developed in certain aspects) that I just never focus on the female characters (that is not to mention what I shared earlier).
ANYWAYS, I fucking love what you wrote about Gege's exploration on power from a masculine perspective because you're 100% spot on. What I'll say to that is that, to me, from a depth psych perspective, that's kind of the whole point.
I invite you to look at it from this other level of perspective (in addition to the whole "Gege's psych is a product of his upbringing"): the whole idea of individuality and focusing on the sense of self as a measure of "The Strongest" is being shown as an incomplete part of the equation...
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... that leaves "the strongest" ultimately feeling dissatisfied.
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This is a sentiment echoed by several characters because ego strength (masculine definitions of strength) is ultimately an unbalanced measure of strength precisely because it ignores feminine values and measures of strength.
Who knows where Gege is taking jjk at this point, but I will admit I am hoping he is going to explore this in more depth because, central to Jungian thought and depth psych is the idea of the Buddhist middle path and union of opposites.
In Jungian psych this means that, when you have an unbalanced ego attitude like that, something has to give so that the pendulum swings in the opposite direction, which gives the ego the experiences it needs to integrate the "opposite" attitude. This ultimately results in a more holistic and balanced perspective for the ego.
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That to say that I'm wondering if Gege is going to make the pendulum swing in the opposite direction with the whole "individuality" idea since self-preservation is a "masculine" trait. Again, psychologically, it's all about balance, and right now, the story is out of balance in favor of the masculine traits you mention.
But... to bring it back to Gege's possible limitations around his perception of femininity and how developing a healthy relationship to his anima (femininity) is a precursor for psychospiritual development... what if, on a meta level, jjk is depicting part of Gege's journey towards integrating and deepening his relationship to his femininity and what you're seeing is the beginning of that journey?
Hint hint Tsumiki! maybe I'll write about it someday
This is the thing... In depth psychology, more specifically what is called "the psychology of fairy tales", fairy tales and myths are stories that depict the thinking patterns of a peoples through metaphor and symbol. The characters in these myths and stories are thus characters playing out dramas in our own psyches. So basically, think of jjk as an objective exploration of Gege's subjectiveness (psyche).
Admittedly, even if the pendulum swings in the other direction (more feminine definitions of strength), you might find that his exploration is rather shallow or that it falls short of your expectations for what you'd like to see from a feminist perspective. And you wouldn't be wrong for it, it's just that Gege is probably not on the same level of understanding that you have about femininity because he's, like you and I, a human on a journey of self understanding and growth reflecting on how his environment has shaped who he is.
The same goes for women with internalized misogyny. Sometimes you don't know what you don't know, and coming to an understanding of it is a process that doesn't take place overnight.
So I think the only part I'll disagree with is that Gege is a sexist writer. But that's perhaps because I'm being a bit too technical in what sexist means? i.e. masc supremacy or hating women and perpetuating stereotypes. I think that rather than being sexist, his unconscious biases are showing, which is why someone like you can pick them out.
I do understand where you're coming from though, and admittedly perhaps I am being too forgiving of him.
Last thing I'll say is that I've said a couple of times that wanting for jjk to have these iconic female characters feels like an exercise in futility. In retrospect, I now understand that it's not that anyone shouldn't want for jjk to have iconic female characters, but that doesn't change the fact that jjk will probably remain the wrong manga to look for them, and that's something to make peace with because it is what it is.
So, here's to hoping we get a chance to see a deeper representation of feminine values in jjk or Gege's next manga. Because, if he's done such beautiful work with the masculine psyche, like you, I'd be curious to see what he makes of a deeper exploration of the feminine psyche.
Between you and I, I'd actually love reading a proper battle bl from Gege. And I mean proper. Like... gays so canon that even the dudebros can't deny it.
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ANYWAYS... giiiiiiiirl what an ask 😮‍💨. I don't think I've done it justice tbh. But hopefully I made sense? I really do love what you wrote. It was very eye opening to see this age-old argument spelled out the way you did it. So thank you again for sharing your thoughts!
If you over have any other thoughts on the topic I look forward to hearing from you!
I rambled too so... hopefully I made sense 🤣.
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max--phillips · 6 months
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Alright we didn’t watch anything yesterday so let’s watch some tonight
Cobb 😭 bring my boy back
“Oooh girl what eyeshadow is that!” “Space cocaine”
In which R2 smells the trauma and torments Din Djarin
I love that R2 was absolutely saying something to Din and we know Din doesn’t understand binary
IS THAT A BENCH
🗣️ ANYONE ALIVE 🗣️
Let the baby have a snack Luke you whore
I love the motif they chose for Luke, idk man it just fits. The uhhhh. The this:
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(Thank u to jacobcenter25 on musescore who had this bit in a piano solo that I was neurotic enough to copy into musescore myself without the other stuff he had going on lmao)
“Do you remember back home” Luke. Of course he doesn’t. You whore
“The galaxy is a dangerous place” you don’t say?
The look at R2 as he walks away with Ahsoka lmfao
“I don’t understand why you’re alright with Skywalker’s decision to train the kid when you wouldn’t.” I don’t think you really *want* to open that can of worms with her Din, nor she you.
Man idk why this is making me more emotional than it was the first time but GOD. I CAME ALL THIS WAY. HES RIGHT THERE. 😭
I do like to imagine that Grogu got back to Din and knew how to jump and shit like crazy and he was like. I am so glad you’re back with me but for the love of god what did that man teach you
All arguments about Luke’s deal here aside, I do find it narratively interesting that Grogu, someone who’s the same species as Yoda, is his first student.
Also, he must just think that being terrorized by a training remote is a normal part of Jedi training bc like, that’s what Ben did to him lmao
She Would Not Fucking Say That
I’m still mad as hell that Drash never actually spoke to Din. Gimme a little bit of fanservice here (that isn’t Star Wars fanservice)
Why did I just realize they decorated the inside of that cantina with the fucking KRAYT DRAGON BONES
There is no heterosexual explanation for the way Cobb talks to, looks at, treats Din. NONE
Literally the way I went “is that cad fucking bane?” the second they showed that heat-warped ass silhouette
“And who might you be?” Lmao
This fucking deputy. I hope the second Cobb got out of that bacta tank he ran right back to Freetown, brought him back to life, and beat his ass back to death
Garsa please don’t be fucking dead I love you sm 😭
Stupidest choice in all of history
“Your friend” THATS HIS DAD YOU WHORE
“Forsaking the way of the Jedi” literally. Shut the fuck up. Shut up. “A short time for you is a lifetime for someone else” THEN THERE’LL BE TIME LATER FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF
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chiyoso · 1 year
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hiraeth! how are you doing today?
got a 59, 35, 42. 56 and 57 for your ask game.
it's a lot BUT I AM I N T R I G U E D
hehe! hey pretty <3 feel free to ask more, because i love intrigued people 🤭
35) favorite subject
i've ALWAYS, always had an affinity for music no matter what. i realized it late though, but because of my mom's wants of me being good at music in general, i developed a natural talent for teaching violin/piano in my own way that amazes her.
e.g. i helped a clearly struggling student of hers, and it was the day of the performance + we only had 1-2 hours of practice left, a piano student, she was having a hard time with counting the beats, and being on beat, having trouble with pacing as well, which i picked up almost immediately, and my mom was busy making preparations so she couldn't help. but i stood up and decided to because i just- idk? i really just wanted to help!
and i wasn't aware that this certain action of mine would lead to a successful performance, with a damn headmistress of a school offering me a free college scholarship because of my own performance + my sudden deeds
bam. (i think i overshared and retold my story about the free college scholarship lmao)
more info under cut! ❤︎
42) favorite books
hrm, i don't have a lot of books to read in this time now BUT
my favorite books growing up was diary of a wimpy kid (i swear i was so addicted to it, and i finished all books of it, PLUS THE MOVIE??? RODRICK??? OMG)
those fairy books i forgot the names but i think the titles were literal names of the fairies? idfk
bridgerton (cough) i'm a sucker for this genre
i can't think of anything else since i dont read much anymore, but i want to say that my favorite genres are; fantasy, romance, dark mature content (no, not 50 shades of grey) smut duh, sci-fi and i think thats pretty much it!
need recommendations... i wanna read some books where we flirt with some shadowy, dark eldritch horror or even the grim reaper himself (im so fucked omg)
56) favorite food
ITALIAN FOOD BABY, but i've been growing fond of uhh... chicken liver. i'm also really open to trying lots of things
ranking: most favorite
1. italian cuisine
2. fried japanese foods
3. korean cheese tteokbokki and tteokkochi
4. tbh convenience stores go hard too for my broke ass
5. philippines food
pizza reigns supreme.
...along with fries dipped in ice cream.
57) favorite animal
cats. any cat. (except for the furless ones im sorry)
cats remind me of scaramouche, lyney, neuvillette, blade and jing yuan so much, i wanna have a black cat along with a white one with gold eyes.
59) why i joined tumblr
now this... hrm
i genuinely forgot why i suddenly downloaded the app... shit.
dammit, i forgot. fuck. i just know i joined when me and my ex were at an all time low and the verge of breaking up.
i remember why i stayed and decided to write myself, i got inspired, heavily inspired and horny from the star rail fics i kept encountering, like my sexual drive just went through the roofs because of this certain welt yang x stellaron hunter blowjob fic, and some aspects of it, like welt and her not trying to get caught — my cynosure reader is inspired by that, doing lewd shit in secret.
and then i kept encountering fics, over and over. showering support to all which was so rejuvenating for my mental health, and then i encountered nat's al haitham fic, encountered you through my first story, and nat's mutual who guided me when i received anon little shits talking about my tagging lmao, yall were the three pillars that kickstarted my writing career genuinely
but if i can try harder to remember why i joined tumblr... i was uhhh, i was heavily depressed, dealing with my ex's shit, life, etc, and i was just mindlessly looking for something, anything, to give me energy, anything eventful for my overly draining situation.
that's all! ehe, ily aine <3
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foxcassius · 2 years
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on the one hand, i would like to post on reddit about my ideas for a study room/private lessons setup to get feedback. on the other hand, i dont trust anything redditors say
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tarohonii · 2 years
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I can't help but ask for another hc again CAUSE U WRITE SO GOOD AHBSMAK
So uhm- a sucheon hc again with late night calls 👉👈 him helping his s/o (probably reluctantly lmao) with the homework they procrastinated ajsbakiddj
I literally have two pending assignments thats due long ago lmao this might give me motivation help 😭👍
Thank you so much! :>
↳ Response: I literally gasped out loud when I read this prompt because this is the exact type of thing I would want to write about I just couldn't put my finger on it.
I really loved writing Sucheon's part on the texting habits hcs but I didn't know how else to expand on his part so I just left it at that. But this prompt is just;; ugh thank you so much for this I am indebted to you and your amazing thoughts. This is genuinely the kind of prompt I would ask someone to write for me.
Also good luck on your schoolwork! I understand the hardcore procrastination, trust me-which would also be a good segway to an apology for this being so late. School hasn't been very kind to me lately;; We both got this :]
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꒰Studying with Sucheon During Late Night Calls ༉‧₊˚✧
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꒰ ⌨ A new order has come in! ··· ꒱
↷ Base: Milk Tea [Character x Reader fic]
↷Flavor: Taro [Sucheon]
↷ Boba: Studying with Sucheon during a late night call [Romantic]
↷Allergies (Warnings): None
↷ Music Rec: Built That Way [Emotional Oranges], Saturday Nights [Khalid], All To Myself [MLKK] Heatwaves [Glass Animals]
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┊Sucheon ·  ·  · ♡
"you seriously have to start doing your work earlier"
He grumbles a bit every time you ask him to help you, but you knew if he really didn’t want to he’d flat out reject your request
At this point when you ask him, he’s so used to it he pinches the bridge of his nose exasperatedly and just asks, “What time?”
Dies a little bit inside when you tell him how many assignments you have to finish. At this point, he starts feeling your workload personally.
For how abrupt and foul-mouthed he can be, he’s surprisingly thorough and detailed when explaining concepts to you. He has a whole unsaid spigot of knowledge that he doesn’t feel the need to reveal.
He doesn’t usually have much patience to be as thorough as he is with you, but it’s you so he puts in more effort than he would anyone else.
Also, as expected, he’s very intelligent and understands concepts with ease. A surprisingly diligent and hard worker when it comes to school, so you don’t have to worry about him not knowing something.
Except he’s kind of awful at explaining the bigger picture and overall concept of a problem. Understands it but doesn’t know how to articulate it into digestible words.
So if you ask him something like, “Why am I plugging this number into the equation?” He’ll give this harassed sigh because he doesn’t have the slightest idea on how to explain it to you.
The type that doesn’t like any subject in particular, so when you complain to him about the tediousness of a math problem or why annotating the profoundness of each poetry line is unnecessary, he doesn’t even try to convince you otherwise. He’s just, “Yea, I know. It’s stupid. Just do it anyways.”
Also not very creative in his teaching methods. Teachers traditionally try to accommodate their teaching methods to tailor their student’s, whether it be visually or orally, but Sucheon is really ‘my way or the highway’ if you don’t understand it the way he’s teaching it to you, he’ll just repeat the process over and over again.
He doesn’t ever get genuinely upset, though. May get a bit frustrated here and there, yes, but it never boils over. If he gets too irritated with a topic that you can’t quite get, he’ll just move on and get back to it later.
Gives you some cheats and shortcuts here and there, but stupidly stubborn about making sure you understand it 100%. This man can feel your confusion through the screen when you don’t understand something.
“Do you understand this?” “Yes.” “Yea, that’s bullshit.” “...”
He likes compliments, but when you get really excited over finally understanding a concept because of his teaching and start thanking him, that’s what really gets him (Probably does that thing where he hides his smile behind the sleeve of his hoodie)
If he gets too flustered he’ll literally turn off his camera
Usually when you’re working he’ll just sit on his phone until you ask him another question. Or sometimes he’ll just sit and stare at you silently. That is until you look back up again and he proceeds to pretend he wasn’t staring.
When it starts getting really deep in the night and you’re starting to wear down, that’s when he’ll hit you with the, “You seriously have to stop procrastinating all the goddamned time.”
Initially, it might seem he’s saying this because he’s irritated at having been kept up all night. In truth, it’s because he really hates seeing you so worn down and all the life sapped out of you. It doesn’t really sit right with him. He knows all-nighters and cramming sessions necessary as a student, but if you can help it, he doesn’t want you constantly being up all night.
Both of you fall asleep on call 80% of the time. Sometimes he tells you to go to bed once it’s past midnight, but part of him wants to stay on call because he lowkey likes falling asleep on call
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yippeecahier · 3 years
Text
I don't normally post about politics, but the Texas primary election ballots are straight up wildin' y'all.
Part of the problem is that Texas primaries are segregated based on declared political party. You won't see these crazy-ass propositions on the Democrat ballot, only on the Republican one. They are pandering to the extremists in the Republican party to get these to pass without showing them to registered Democrats. If these show up on the election ballot later because they passed the primary I swear to God I might riot.
These are from the Sample Texas Primary Ballot for Republicans and are unedited. I encourage you to fact check me and go look for yourself. When I read these out loud to my (former Republican) family, they could not believe these were on the actual ballot and thought I was reading clickbait about it until I showed them I was reading off a printed sample ballot because these are so wild. ID's added in English on the Alt text of each image. My opinions in quotes under each.
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UM?? NO NATIONAL GUARD ON PEOPLE'S PRIVATE HOMES AND RANCHES ALONG THE BORDER PLEASE.
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Without ANY taxes how will government function?? Also public educators need these to have retirement because we don't contribute to or pull from Social Security?? Only Texas Teacher Retirement System?? Funded by their own incomes which come from property taxes??
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Im sorry,, if you support no government having a say in private business,, private businesses should be able to decide for themselves if COVID-19 vaccines are needed to operate safely and fire people who won't do it... also Texas public schools require vaccines so that students who are immunocompromised can safely attend public school!! And Texas refuses to fund schools that offer online options to public K-12 students!! What about THEIR rights to a free and appropriate public education??
Also holy shit I know CRT has become the bogeyman?? Its not taught at all in K-12 schools?? Just read the History TEKS?? Thats literally all Texas schools have time and funds to teach?? Directly to the STAAR standardized test?? Which doesn't mention this at all? And then promote teaching American exceptionalism?? American exceptionalism is literally what is wrong with our society today?? But tbh if you support parent choice in education, if I'm a theoretical parent I should get to choose if I teach my kids Marxism if I want to lmao
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They really want to completely ban abortion after fertilization even though we have the worst maternal-fetal death rate in the country and among the worst in the world, and we already have 40 foster children in the system to every available foster home... also, "God"? And the Bible says nothing about this? Separation of Church and State where??
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Holy shit?? If someone is qualified you should give them a committee chairmanship regardless of party affiliation?? This is not a war between Republicans and Democrats and you're not a traitor if you try to compromise or reach across the aisle??
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I thought y'all support parent choice?? Only when it supports your narrow minded views, huh? /nbh They really want to legislate helping/supporting trans kids illegal.
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In addition to eliminating property taxes, y'all want to kick public schools while they're down and send what meager funds they have from the state to private schools? Also I only forsee this as ensuring the rich kids with rich parents get good education to further increase the gap between rich and poor.
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HELLO??? SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE????
Anyway, they're all wild.
If you're in Texas and you haven't declared your political party and agree that these are batshit insane propositions, please declare "Republican" so that you can help me vote these down.
When the election rolls around after primaries, you can vote for whoever (even Democrat), and honestly they're less likely to toss out your vote if you're a registered Republican on the outside of the envelope/ballot.
TL;DR If you're in Texas please vote in the Republican Texas primaries to ensure that Texas doesn't become more of a Trumpist dystopia
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milkacchan · 4 years
Text
Request for anon: Can I have Present mic, Aizawa, and all might where they learn their young student is fatherless? Like... their father walked out/went to prison when they were young. I'm sorry if this is time consuming, but I can't stop sobbing over my father.
I'm the situation baby but remember it wasn't your fault
I changed it up a little bit with Mics- I hope you don't mind
Present Mic:
• from the getgo something was wrong
• The moment you walked into class he could tell
• You looked like shit
• Dark bags under your eyes, hair messily brushed, just to get it out if your face, and your eyes were a light red.
• You didn't look particularly happy to be there either
• something turns in his stomach, a gut feeling that something really had went down
• And he hated seeing his students upset
• but he was relatively close to you to begin with, his felt different
• He felt like he had to do something
• Everyone settled into their seats as the bull rung but his eyes remained on you
• You honestly didn't pay attention during the lesson
• He could tell as much
• class finishes and the bell rings but you sit still, and it's not until most of the students have trickled out of the room do you start packing up
• He walks over and kneels in front of the desk "You okay there? You don't look so good," he looks concerned and his heart drops when he sees your lip start to quiver
• It takes you 0.27 seconds to break and you're frantically wiping your eyes as sobs wrack your body
• He's got his arms wrapped around you in seconds and you're leaning into his shoulder.
• He isn't sure exactly how long you're crying for but eventually you calm down enough to get out a coherent sentence
• "My-My dad was arrested Friday night. He won't tell me why- he won't let anyone else tell me why and I don't know what else to do," you cry, "I miss him so much and its only been a few days- I don't- I don't have anyone else, Mr. Hazashi,"
• And you're crying again.
• He has you take the rest of the day off, in fact he takes the day with you
• He calls in a sub (you don't know what strings he had to pull for that but you don't ask, at this point you don't care) and you two dip
• He takes you to get food, real food, that'll make you feel better
• He knows that'll help a little
• and after that he takes you to get something sweet- that tends to help mood and blood pressure and anxiety
• So he does his best with you
• He nutures you the best way he knows how
• if you need anything and I mean ANYTHING this man has you covered
• He does his best to step up in any way he can
• first off he extends his assignment deadlines and cancels two tests. Who needs them anyway.
• And you eat lunch in his classroom because he can well tell you don't want to talk to anyone else right now
• He closes it off (seemingly) so in reality its just you and him
• He'll probably tell Aizawa too but on the downlow (just so he knows)
• When holidays roll around, the dorms close.
• In this case- he let's you stay with him. He has an extra bedroom. He doesn't want you to stay in an empty house.
• You also get his phone number (which you gladly use) for anything really
• Bored? He'll deliver some shitty puns.
• Confused about homework? Text him.
• having a mental breakdown? He's got you covered.
• You got memes? Please for the love of God send them to him.
• The dynamic eventually shifts to a VERY father daughter relationship.
• He knows he'll never replace your dad. He understands that wholeheartedly, but he wants you to have someone
• He actually gets a letter from your dad, thanking him for taking care of you
• but he really doesn't mind
Aizawa:
• He had a feeling that there was something going on at home. Or rather, a lack of something.
• He's dealt with it in the oast- with himself and with past students and current ones
• Shinsou
• I mean, aside from that fact whenever parents were mentioned, you'd either stiffen up or wrinkle your nose
• You didn't really like the subject of parents
• There was an essay prompt about parents (nothing too personal) nd you ended up writing it on the extinction of dinosaurs and why God fucked up instead
"It'd be absolutely stellar to see huge lizards roaming the earth and occasionally stepping on people, you know? Jurassic park was onto something."
• Man's couldn't even fail you on it because it was written v well
• Anyway, he doesn't pry too much. He just silently figures it out by process if elimination and pattern.
• He doesn't really care too much
• In the sense if it doesn't define you and he doesn't help you because he pities you
• he helps you because he seems potential
• He takes you under his wing with shinsou
• Yall spend a whole summer training
• And that's when it all came out
• It was an accident really.
• Shinsou was tired, exhausted really
• and when people get tired- that tired- sometimes they spout random shot they wouldn't usually say
• and thats what he did
• he went on about his home life
• and if he could, you could too right?? You could trust them.
• "My dad walked out when I was a kid. Little, like 3. I have a few pictures of him holding me, but I guess it wasn't enough. I don't have any desire to meet him. Not anymore. But it left me feeling like I did something wrong? I guess? Which I suppose is why I train. Because then I feel strong. Which is a good difference from how it usually feels."
• He knew it.
• He called it.
• He was right again.
• He reassures you that you are good enough, strong enough, and his decision to leave had nothing to do with you
• and when he saw you give him a soft smile, he warmed.
• I mean really, it only goes up from there
• he'll deny it, or grumble under his breath, but he seems you two as his own
• Like these aren't my kids but they are my kids
• When dorms close on holiday yall get to stay because that's where he lives too
• Like if you chose too
• he's not gonna force you to stay but if you don't want to go home, you don't have too
• He has that power
• He will buy you food
• all you gotta do is ask
• and he'll roll his eyes and grumble something he doesn't really mean, just secretly happy that you feel comfortable enough around him to ask for something
• lmao family group chat
S: 'Hey Mr. Aizawa I found this cat. Hold on lemme send a pic'
A: 'Dont need a pic. Bring him home'
Y: 'What if he's ugly??'
A: 'gremlin. Bring him home.'
Or
Y: 'Hey I saw this tweet that said 'kids be like watch this and do a half roundhouse spin kick clap and waste my fucking time' and it make me think of you.'
S: @ mr. Aizawa when he has to watch deku do sumn
Y: Lmaoooo like when he threw the baseball
S: LMAOO
A: Me watching you too try to figure out how to beat me in training
Y: Yikes bro
S: That was a rough one
• Does he regret giving you and shinsou his number??
• Maybe
• Not really
• Lmao super secret lunch movie days
• Every week on wendesday yall watch a movie. Usually it takes 2 or 3 days to watch the movie since lunch is only 70 minutes
• @ you accidently calling him dad one day and shinsou snickering but it stuck
• dadzawa lmaoo
Allmight:
• Man's has 2 underlings.
• You and Deku.
• Picked you up when he started teaching at UA
• Ion know let's say one day you popped off bc he said some dumb shit and you were like no sir that's clearly wrong
• schooled him in his own damn subject
• the other kids were like 😳
• what the fuck
• Anyway
• He see's you have potential
• And though he's not the best teacher, you seem to respond better to the way HE was taught
• So tbh its easier to teach you
• 'okay, now I want you to beat the shot out if that wall,'
'Okay lmao bet'
• Midoriya is like, hey mayhaps we should analyze the situation
• N ur like noe
• You just don't give a fuck
• about anything really
• other than moving up the ranks
• But even then- its not a super super big deal, you're just gonna do your best but you aren't gonna stress
• However he noticed a pattern w you (even before Midoryia brought it up to him)
• You don't let anyone in
• Midoryia knows a bit more than the other students but that's really only because he's always with you
• a good majority of the week he's w you
• but its not really a deep connection
• you don't rely on either of them
• You do your best to do things on your own.
• He knows midoryias life story
• he knows why he acts the way he does
• but he doesn't know why you do
• he has a gut feeling it could be the same as midoryia
• I mean he already had one kid who's dad dipped
• he'll surely be able to figure out you too??
• So he makes himself a promise that he'll figure it out and he'll become someone you trust
• And he does just that
• When you tell him about your nightmare of a family history he's like mm, makes sense
• but he's happy that you trust him!!!
• He's a BIG suckered for movie nights
• he's got popcorn, snacks, candy, chocolate, soda- he's prepared
• list of movies lined out all ready
• I lowkey feel like he'd be into lord of the rings or fast n furious
• fast n furious at LEAST
• He's really into American action movies
• and he has no problem sharing those movies with you
• he doesn't have a whole ton of money, like he's not rich, but if you or midoryia need something he's definitely there to get it for you
• even if ur like fam no you don't need too
• he'll buy yell food a lot
• a l o t
• and cards
• when you and midoryia get him a father's day card he thinks he's gonna cry
• You guys also have a group chat
• 'da faemilee'
• Y: "Hey dad do you have milk?"
A: "???? Do I have milk????"
Y: "ya I'm looking in your fridge n ion see any???"
A: "How'd you even get in????"
Y: "Izuku."
I: "lmaoo"
Or
Y: Izuku you dumb bitch I left for ONE day
Y: And you got into a fight with Bakugou
I: He wanted to throw hands. I just did what you would do.
A: He's got you there
Or
A: What do you guys want for dinner
I: Sushi
Y: Chicfila
Y: Izu square up
I: K
Or
Y: Izu is fighting kacchow again
A: Beat his ass young midoriya
Y: Lmaoooooo
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illfoandillfie · 4 years
Text
A Different Kind of Education: V Is For Vanilla (Chapter 1)
Pairing: Professor!Roger Taylor x Fem!Reader
Summery: After being broken up with for not being kinky enough, Reader seeks out her professor to give her some private tutoring so she can win her boyfriend back.
Warnings: Modern AU, smut (18+), slow burn romance, light dom/sub dynamics, light dom!roger and sub!reader, professor x student sex, protected sex, vaginal fingering, light breast/nipple play, nipple sucking, light biting, i think thats it, honestly this chapter is (as the title says) pretty vanilla. But things will get more intense in later chapters. 
Words: 7,128
A/N: ahhhhhh it’s finally here. This professor Rog idea has been kicking around my head for months now and finally I’m actually doing something about it lmao
This series is going to be LONG (like in my plan it’s 15 chapters) because I have So Many kinks I want to squeeze into it. Some were chosen by me and some were chosen by everyone who voted in the poll I put up a few weeks ago and i am seriously so excited about what’s coming.
Smut scenes in this and all future chapters will be marked with stars so that if there is a kink you’d like to avoid you can skip over it and still enjoy the rest of the series. 
Also, I know the chapter title doesn’t super make sense since he’s a university bio sciences professor which doesn’t have a lot to do with the alphabet but 🤷‍♀️ that was the working chapter title and it kind of stuck. Plus, ya’ll know I love chapter titles that have a theme lmao. Anyway, no more stalling. Enjoy the filth and start preparing yourselves for it to get so much filthier.
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(the ultimate hot professor rog moment tbh)
@atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama​​ @deakyclicks​​ @jennyggggrrr​​ @drowseoftaylor​​ @hannafuckingsucks​​ @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming​​ @queenmylovely​​ @ilovequeenmorethanyou​​ @johndeaconshands​​ @borhapbois​​ @stardust-galaxies​​ @cherries-n-rocknroll​​ @rogersslave​​ @scorpiogemini  
His office door was open when you got there which didn’t give you much time to hesitate or rethink your decision to ask your Professor for help. He would have seen you approaching or stalling in the doorway and invited you in anyway to query you about your reasons for being there. So, instead, you raised your fist and rapped a pattern on the door frame with your knuckles. “Professor Taylor? Can I have a word?” “Miss Y/L/N,” he seemed surprised to see you, his eyes widening behind his spectacles, “come in. What can I help you with?” You closed the door behind you and took a seat, fidgeting with your fingers as you tried to remember how you’d planned to broach the subject. Professor Taylor – Roger, as you’d been told you could call him – waited patiently. “It’s tricky, Professor. Umm, see, well um,” “Is this something to do with the coursework? If you’re worried about the last assignment, you don’t need to be. It was really good, what you handed in.” “Really?” “Mmhmm. I was going to give you all feedback next week but if it’ll help put your mind at ease I can show you the comments I have for you early,” You were half a second away from asking to see them when you remembered that wasn’t what you’d come to ask about, “A-actually that’s okay Professor.” “Oh? So was it something else you wanted? I know that this Masters course is more work than previous classes you’ve had with me but you seem to be keeping on top of it all. I’m very impressed by what you’ve accomplished so far.” “Thank you Professor, but, um, that’s not really what I’m here about,” “No?” He leaned forward resting his chin on his hands, “You know, there’s no need to be nervous about talking to me, I’m not going to fail you,” he chuckled as he sat up straight again, clearly trying to lighten the mood though his expression became more serious as he said, “if you’re having trouble with something, or someone, please tell me and I will do what I can to help, whether it’s pointing you in the direction of someone more able to support you or talking to people on your behalf.” You nodded, feeling marginally calmer though still nervous, “I was actually hoping for some private tutoring,” “Oh? Well if you’d like to put your name down as a tutor I have a form here somewhere, if you fill it out I can pass it on and have your name added to the database,” Roger rifled through a stack of papers on his desk, only stopping when you spoke again. “No, not, uh, not tutoring work. I more meant tutoring from you. In an area that this Uni doesn’t provide classes in,” “Miss Y/L/N I’m going to have to ask you to explain because I’m not quite sure what you’re after,” You took a breath and resisted the urge to speak to the floor, “My boyfriend dumped me last week.” “I’m sorry to hear that but I don’t see how-” “He dumped me because apparently I’m not kinky enough. I don’t know, he always wanted me to be super obedient in the bedroom but I never really understood it.” Roger shifted in his seat, “Miss Y/L/N I don’t think this is app-” “I want someone to explain it all to me, teach me how to be what he wants so I can get him back. If I can show him that I can learn, that I can submit in the way he expects, then we won’t have to break up. I love him and I’d do anything to get him back and I’ve been thinking about it and I think you’re the best person to teach me.” “I’m not sure I understand why you would come to me with this. I am very sorry to hear you’re dealing with that but it’s not really appropriate for me to be discussing such matters with my student.” “Just…” you held your hand up to try and stop him from standing and opening the door for you, “You must realise that you have a, um, a reputation.” Roger was taken aback by that, throwing you a confused expression as he settled back into his seat. “Surely you’ve heard the rumours about you. About what you like to get up to with women.” “I can assure you I haven’t,” “Seriously? Everyone talks about it. I mean part of it is probably just because you’ve got that whole DILF thing working for you so like half the students here have crushes on you. But then you throw in the gossip about how you like to tie women up and all the rest of it,” Roger closed his eyes as if he couldn’t quite keep up with everything you’d just said, “How- I mean, those rumours have no bearing on- on anything and they aren’t even- what I mean to say is-” “Professor, it’s okay. It’s just gossip, nothing serious in it. But if you do like that sort of thing, I could really use your help. I won’t tell anyone, all I want is my boyfriend back,” Roger pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, “This is insane, what you’re asking is insane.” “No it’s not,” “Okay, lets, Miss Y/L/N, just for a moment, let’s imagine that, hypothetically, I say yes to this. What then?” “Well, I’d expect we’d meet up once or twice a week, you’d teach me the basics of kink, anything you thought I should know. Then in four months’ time I can talk to Dylan and show him what I’ve learnt and he’ll take me back.” “Why four months?” “Oh, we’re pretty much guaranteed to see each other then. Two of our mutual friends are getting married and we’ll both be at the wedding. So will you do it?” “Miss Y/L/N, I don’t know that this is a good idea,” “Why not?” “Well our ages for one thing,” “So what? You’re mature and experienced and that’s what I need. Plus, surely having someone half your age throw herself at you is a bonus.” He smiled slightly, “All the same, it’s wrong. I’m your teacher.” “Exactly, who better to teach me?” “The ethics of this- and the rules of this university. If anyone found out I’d lose my job, you’d lose your place at this school so you wouldn’t get to complete your degree. Not to mention I’m sure you have family and friends who would chop my bollocks off before they ran me out of town.” “It’s not like I’m underage, I’m doing a bloody Masters. And no one would find out. We can meet in secret.” “It’s still so risky, Ms Y/L/N,” “Look, Professor, I wouldn’t tell anyone, you won’t tell anyone. As long as we’re careful about when and where we meet no one will find out. Please, Professor. I need this,” you thought you could see his resolve cracking but decided to give him a final push, “But if you really don’t want to then I’ll find someone else. I’m sure I can meet someone online. Fetlife? That’s a website for this kind of thing, right?” “Fine, I’ll do it.” He said suddenly, “But we do it my way. And certainly not on campus.” “Okay,” “Are you free tonight?” “You wanna get right into it?” “I want to discuss this further, off campus, to set some ground rules, and I think we’ll both be more comfortable discussing it over dinner.” “Dinner? Like a date?” “A business deal. Miss Y/L/N, if you can’t take this seriously,” “I can, I promise. Dinner where?” “Well, public places are out of the question. So you can come over to my house. Be there by Seven and make sure no one knows. Here’s the address,” “Thank you Professor,” Roger grunted as he scrawled his address on a scrap of paper, holding it out to you, “Go, out of my office before I come to my senses,” You nodded and scurried off, taking heart from the bemused tone behind his snippy words. In a matter of a few short months you’d be able to put this breakup behind you and show Dylan just how much he meant to you.
A few minutes before seven o’clock you rang Roger’s door bell, looking around at the long driveway and the tidy garden beds at the front of the house as you waited. He opened the door quickly and hurried you inside glancing around the front yard as if someone were spying on him. “I brought wine,” you said, holding the bottle out, “You’ve got a nice place,” “You sound surprised,” he said as he took your jacket from you and hung it on a coat rack to the side of the entrance before taking the wine with a gracious nod and examining the label, “Y’know being a university professor doesn’t actually pay too badly.” “Yeah but this place is massive,” He chucked, “I inherited a little from my Nan and Pop and then there was the album. That was enough to buy this place.” “Album?” “Oh, I was in a band in my youth, one mildly successful album and a couple of writing credits on the singles set me up nicely. Not nicely enough to retire on but still.” He shrugged as he led you through his sizeable house, up a set of stairs and towards the back balcony, “Plus, this place didn’t seem so big when I was sharing it with my ex-wife and our kids. Uhh, but that’s not what we’re here to discuss. Now, make yourself comfortable out here and I’ll just go check on the food.” You nodded, still trying to wrap your head around the sheer number of rooms and hallways you’d passed as well as the fact that your old Biology professor had once been in a band. It was hard considering you’d only ever seen him presenting lectures to an audience of tired and often hungover students but you supposed he did have a kind of magnetism that would have been at home on a stage. Still, you’d have liked to see pictures.  
Roger returned a few moments later with two plates of food, a couple of wine glasses tucked in the crook of his arm. You quickly reached to relieve him of something, before one of the glasses could shatter and put an end to all your plans. Though perhaps a broken glass would have helped break the ice. It wasn’t the most comfortable dinner you ever had. You found it hard to swallow, hard to sit still, torn between wanting to jump right to the main topic and wanting to let Roger bring it up in his own time. The last thing you wanted was to come across as just trying to get a leg over the hottest professor on campus as if for a dare or a joke. Him retracting his agreement was a very close second last. Instead, you gulped down your drink and tried to focus on the reasonably nice meal Roger had prepared for you. Finally, after watching you top up your glass for the third time, he put you out of your misery. “Why me?” “What?” “Why did you approach me with this idea of…tutoring?” “Like I said before, the rumours abo-” “Okay but there must have been something beyond that. There could have been rumours about any staff member. If the school gossip had said Professor Richardson had a sex dungeon where he tied up women and spanked them, would you have approached him?” “So you have heard the rumours,” “Of course I have. Answer the question,” You stalled by taking another drink, though only a sip that time, “No, I wouldn’t have.” “So, why me?” “You’re hot?” Roger gave you a look you’d seen in the classroom – his stop fucking around look, usually reserved for first years who still treated dissection and cadavers as a joke. You shrugged, “You’re one of the best teachers I ever had. You always said we could come to you with any problems we were having and whenever I took you up on that offer to go over the coursework you were encouraging and supportive and knew how to push me in the right direction without giving me all the answers. I guess I felt like I could trust you. Like you’d take me seriously or at least hear me out before shutting the door in my face. And if the rumours happened to be false then you seemed like the sort of person who wouldn’t be offended by them or my proposition.” Roger smiled to himself, but it was only for a few brief seconds and then his professional demeanour was back in place, “Alright, well, I’m listening now so why don’t you tell me about this ex and the sort of things he requested of you. And then I’ll decide whether to kick you off my property or not.” There was a twinkle in his eye that told you he wasn’t serious about throwing you out, but it didn’t stop you from feeling timid about the conversation, “Umm, okay. His name is Dylan. We were both in your Bachelor bio class, that’s how we met. Or kind of. We were aware of each other but went to different parties and hung out with different people. It wasn’t until last year that we actually met and got chatting and started seeing each other. I thought it was the real thing, like proper love, soulmate stuff. So when he broke up with me it took me completely by surprise. Everything felt perfect with him. Except for the sex.” You paused, feeling a little self-conscious about speaking so frankly about your personal life, and with your professor no less. Roger removed his spectacles and wiped them on the bottom of his shirt, “Ms Y/L/N, you’re going to have to be able to talk about sex with me if you actually want this to work.” “The sex was fucking great okay? Especially at the start. But the longer we went out the more he pushed for me to be submissive to him. He’d joke around about wanting to fuck me while I was asleep or mostly asleep, and he’d dirty talk by calling me his toy or saying that he owned me or sometimes about pimping me out to his friends. I indulged some of his ideas like when he wanted to be especially rough with me, pushing my head down into the mattress, pulling my hair, slapping me, things like that. And it was fun, but I never enjoyed it the same way he did and whenever he brought up the sleep stuff or if he tried to bend me over while I was cooking dinner I always stopped him. He’d laugh about it and say he was just joking but I guess he meant it more than I thought he did.” Roger remained quiet, watching you thoughtfully until he was sure you were finished, “If we did this what limits would you want in place?” “None. I want to be the perfect submissive for Dylan, I want to prove I can be whatever he wants.” Roger shook his head and put down his glass, “What was it you told Dylan when he suggested using you while you were in the middle of something or if he brought up the sleep stuff?” “I just told him no, I wasn’t into it or I was busy.” “Then that’s a limit. If you don’t want to do those things, that’s okay. Everyone has limits.” “But that’s the point. I need to learn how to be into those things so he’ll have me back. My limits are what made him leave.” Roger exhaled heavily though his nose, “Okay then, is there anything you would consider a turn off?” “I don’t know,” “Well I don’t believe that. I’m sure you have at least some idea of what you like and what you don’t.” “Yeah I guess I do but if I’m the submissive one then it doesn’t matter what I want. This is about Dylan and doing what he wants.” “Personally, I’m not big into feet stuff – toe sucking, foot jobs, anything like that – it just doesn’t appeal to me, whether I’m acting more dominant or more submissive, and I’ve made sure to tell every one of the women I’ve been with who hinted that they’d be into doing that kind of thing. A lot of women, in my experience at least, don’t like anal or things like knife play or scenes that feel violent or menacing.” He paused, watching your reactions, “From what you’ve just told me, it sounds like Dylan might be into free use and consensual non-consent so if either of those things sound like a turn off to you, you should let me know. Dylan will have limits of what he’s comfortable with and comfortable doing to others, I guarantee it. You need to make your limits known too. It’s all part of being in a D/S relationship and playing with any kind of BDSM type kink. The main rule we follow is safe, sane and consensual, and believe me, I will make sure we follow it during our lessons. So, is there anything you would consider a turn off or anything you wouldn’t want to do, even for Dylan?” “Can I think about it and get back to you?” “I suppose so. If it helps I can give you an idea of things I could teach you and you can tell me if any of them don’t feel right.” “Yeah, I think that would help,” “Alright umm, obviously because this is about what Dylan likes we should address consensual non-consent and free use at some point, but they would come later. Somnophilia too. I’d probably start with something easier or more common anyway. Spanking is nearly guaranteed, basic bondage methods – cuffs, ropes, that sort of thing – maybe some more extreme bondage too depending on how much you enjoyed the basic bondage. Ummm, choking, maybe some gags, tease and denial for sure. Any of that sounding too scary or intimidating or just not fun?” “They all sound okay I think, although some of them I haven’t heard of before.” “It’s a start at least. Of course, I would begin with the smaller kinks and work our way up to the more intense ones, and hopefully by that point we’ll both be more familiar with your limits and what you are interested in taking further.” “So, does that mean your agreeing to tutor me?” “I can definitely work with this.” “You mean it?” “Yes. Apparently I do.” He trailed his gaze over you for a moment, “How would you feel if I suggested we move this to the bedroom?” Your heart skipped a beat and you hoped your shock hadn’t shown on your face, “You want to start now?” “Sort of. What do we do at the beginning of a science experiment?” “Measure a control group,” “Exactly, you do a control before you mess with variables so you have something to measure them against. In this case, I think we’ll be able to tailor kinks to you better if I have some idea of what you enjoy during sex and what it takes to get you off. Is that okay?” “Yeah, of course, yeah. Makes sense.” “If you want to wait a couple of days we can,” “No, now’s as good a time as any. And the sooner we get into it all the better really.” Roger chuckled and stood, holding out his hand to help you out of your seat, “You’ve always been an enthusiastic student.”
Leaving your plates and glasses on the balcony table, Roger led you towards his bedroom. You wished you’d had a little more to drink, just to dull the sudden wave of nerves that had risen up. You were about to fuck a professor. Professor Taylor. It was a bizarre scenario you’d got yourself into and in an effort to distract yourself a little and calm down, you focused on his bedroom wall as he busied about closing curtains, eyes trained on a framed watercolour of a lake under some cherry blossom trees. “You like it?” “Huh? Oh, yeah, it’s pretty,” “I got that while I was in Japan a few years ago.” You nodded, not sure what to say next. “Are you okay?” You turned and found Roger much closer than he had been a moment before. “Are you sure you want to do this?” “Yes, sorry, just a bit nervous I guess. Feels kind of odd now that I’m actually here. If I’m being honest, I didn’t really expect you to agree to this.” “I did tell you your idea was insane. But that’s okay,” he slowly reached forward, his hand settling on your hip and gently tugging, encouraging you to step in closer, “It’s kind of weird for me too. So, we’ll go slow. And if you want to stop at any time we can.” You nodded, eyes glued to Roger, and let your tongue wet your lips. His eyes followed the movement, “Does that mean you want to kiss me?” There was a playfulness to his voice, teasing almost, and you found yourself relaxing and agreeing that you did. And for the first time you realised just what it meant for those rumours to be true. “So then kiss me.”
                                                     ****** 
A kiss you could do. Pushing aside the realisation that this was your first kiss since Dylan left, you leaned in and pressed your lips to Roger’s, though you pulled away quickly. Roger didn’t say anything, just waited, lips lightly parted. Your heart was racing with excitement and uncertainty, but you wanted more. He welcomed your lips the second time they met his, his hand gripping your hip harder now that he was certain you were going to stay. It was almost needy the way he kissed back, something you’d not have expected from your Professor. His nose bumped yours and yet he didn’t seem to care, leaning further into you, his tongue tickling your lip seconds before you felt it slide against your own tongue. Familiar but entirely different from the kisses you were used to. His hands didn’t move like Dylan’s did, not grabbing but gently squeezing, reassuringly firm. His leg was suddenly between yours and you took a step back in surprise. Roger followed so you took another and another until you felt the edge of the bed behind you. Dylan and your nerves almost entirely forgotten, you reached for Roger’s belt. He let you unbuckle it and pull it loose before he grabbed the hem of your shirt and lifted it over your head, kissing you between looks heavy with desire. He broke away for a moment and toed off his shoes, bending to take his socks off too, “So, is there anything you particularly like, any positions?” You copied his movements, kicking your own shoes just under the bed, “Not really. I can work with whatever.” “Stop trying to please me and tell me what you like Ms Y/L/N,” he said, reaching for your hips again so he could push your jeans down. “I mean I guess I like being on top, riding, whatever you want to call it.,” you quickly unhooked your bra and let it drop to the floor, “But Dylan tended to like me under him.” “New rule,” Roger said, kicking his own pants off his ankle as you tugged his shirt from his shoulders, “No talking about your ex when we’re this close to being naked. Okay?” “Yeah, sorry, good rule.” “Y’know I could have taken your bra off too,” “Faster this way,” “I’ll let you have it this time. But next time I unwrap you myself.” You shivered at the implications of the statement as Roger resumed the kiss and pressed you backwards onto the mattress, quickly climbing on top of you, his hands braced on each side of your head as he leaned down to kiss you once more, hungrily.
He didn’t stay there long though. A few seconds later he’d shimmied down your body, creating a trail of kiss warmed skin, until his face was positioned directly above your breasts. You raised your head and watched enraptured as he his eyes met yours, the hint of a mischievous grin lighting up his face, and then he lowered his lips to the top of your left breast. You let your head drop back to the bed and ached your back a little, pushing your chest towards him. “Yeah, you like that?” he asked, voice rougher than you’d ever heard it before, “what if I do this?” slowly he let his teeth sink into you, just for a second. It was enough to pull a small hum of appreciation from you so he repeated the action on your right breast. “Feels good?” “Yeah,” you breathed out, softly. “Yeah?” he asked, pushing himself up so he was straddling your waist, “What about this?” You felt his warm breath surround your nipple before you felt his tongue lap against it or his lips enclose it, letting your eyes slip shut as you drew your lip between your teeth. He seemed to appreciate the response and made sure to repeat the action a few times against each nipple, sucking on one as his gently flicked the other with his thumb. You tingled at the sensation of his warm saliva cooling and gently squeezed your legs together. “Don’t be shy,” he said, sitting up again and laying a hand over each of your breasts, “I can tell you enjoy it when I play with your tits,” You pulled in a shaky breath as he squeezed your breasts, “Mmhmm, yeah,” “Do you want some more?” “Yes, Professor,” He made a short clicking sound with his tongue, “I think we’re past Professor by now, you can call me Roger. And you can tell me what you want,” “I want more,” “More what?” You hummed again at the feeling of him massaging your boobs. “More what? Should I keep sucking on your perky fucking tits? Jesus they’re so fucking soft,” he cleared his throat and shook his head a little, “Or, should I give some other part a bit of attention? Your pussy’s probably feeling a bit left out, huh?” You’d expected him to boss you around, make demands, and you’d expected a bit of dirty talk (the kind where he’d tell you how sexy you looked or that he couldn’t wait to fuck you). But the reality surpassed everything you’d considered likely. You certainly hadn’t expected to get wet just from his tone and his words. And you definitely hadn’t expected to be doing what he asked, agreeing with everything he said. But that’s exactly what was happening, and it felt good. “Please touch my pussy.” “It would be my pleasure,” he smiled softly as he climbed off of your waist and pulled your underwear down, “and yours.”
The change of position gave you a moment to catch your breath but also to take in Roger’s appearance properly. You had to admit you liked what you saw. Of course, you already knew he was attractive. More than once you’d found yourself distracted in class, mind on what a cute bum he had or how shapely his hands were or else on his fluffy hair, light blonde but with streaks of grey blended throughout. He was the epitome of the hot teacher really, especially with his gravelly voice and the youthful sparkle of his eyes, magnified by his usual pair of glasses. What you hadn’t seen before, and what you were revelling in now, was his naked torso. There were muscles in his arms, not Hollywood style bulging biceps and you’d certainly never have noticed them under the sleeves of his work shirts, but they were revealed as he shifted his position and you had the sudden urge to reach out and squeeze them. A light fuzz of hair covered his chest, though it was so light it was barely visible, and a marginally thicker thatch of it trailed down into his underwear. And in between was his stomach, the years of fatherhood evidenced by how it softly protruded out over the hem of his underwear. Once, a few years ago, someone had found a photo of Professor Taylor taken in the 90s when he was twenty-something and, thanks to the university meme facebook page and a few students with near influencer levels of followers, just about the whole school had seen it and had wet dreams about it. He’d been stick thin then, eyes ringed by dark grungy eyeliner, long messy hair falling about his face, and his plaid shirt unbuttoned. The Roger settling beside you now was miles away from that boy but you liked his current look, from his shorter hair to his rounder body, though he seemed to have the same skinny legs. “What are you thinking about?” he asked as he propped himself up on his elbow to look you over. “This is…better than I thought it would be,” “Thanks for the vote of confidence,” “No, that’s not what I meant. I don’t know, I just...I could never picture it before, actually being with you. But you’ve made it feel easy and, well not normal, but y’know, not too strange either.” “So you’ve been liking it so far?” “Mmhmm, it’s felt really good,” “Good, that’s what I want to hear. But,” your breath hitched as you felt his fingers stroke between your legs, “experiments not done yet.” He watched his hand as it moved, his fingers sliding between your lips, spreading the wetness that had begun to pool with his earlier attentions. Each shift of his fingers pulled soft sighs and small ohs from you as the pleasure began to slowly build and you pulled him down into another kiss, wanting to feel him closer. He eased the first finger into you gradually, whispering questions about how it felt and if you were ready for more. You’d have expected his constant quizzing to be annoying but he peppered them between comments about making you feel good and dirty talk about getting you ready for his cock as he pulled your hand over to his crotch to give him some small relief. And somehow everything just seemed to turn you on more, his obvious desire to make sure you were comfortable included. You barely registered when he added the second finger, pumping both into you rhythmically as he delicately sucked at your pulse point, though you knew the third was coming, a response to your pleas for more. You’d meant his dick really, ready to move things along but he’d been adamant about making sure you were properly stretched out, not relenting until he’d fit four fingers inside you. “Fo-four?” you whimpered as he pressed the last one into you, “Three not enough?” “Just to be on the safe side. My cock is about average length but its girthy,” “I – oh Roger – It feels huge to me,” “Please, I’m 46, I know it’s not the biggest thing in the world. But I also know it doesn’t need to be to fuck you so right.” You weren’t sure how to reply though he didn’t give you many options, jerking his fingers inside you and making you moan. “I know there are nerves involved which can impact how wet you get and I don’t want to do anything that would cause you pain or discomfort, so I’m going to finger you until I’m ready to stop. You can beg all you want but I won’t fuck you until I decide you can handle it.” Even that was hot though you weren’t exactly sure why, but whatever it was you found yourself nodding in agreement, staring at him through eyes half lidded with pleasure.
When Roger was satisfied that you were ready for more than his fingers, he pulled them from you and got to his knees, shuffling around to rummage through his bedside cabinet. A moment later you realised why as he kicked off his underwear and tore open a condom. You watched as he rolled it down his shaft, noting he’d described himself quite accurately. “Sorry,” he said as he caught your eye, “did you want to do that?” “No, that’s okay,” you chuckled, “just that Dylan never liked to wear them,” “Hey, we have a rule remember. And this is the first time I’m fucking one of my students, I’m not doing it raw, are you kidding?” “Sorry. And yeah, you’re probably right to use one.” “Hey, this is just the control remember. Condoms are a variable we can change later.” You laughed at that and nodded as Roger squirted some lube into his palm and began stroking himself, letting out small groans at the contact. “Are you going to fuck me yet or is there something else I have to wait for?” “Careful Ms Y/L/N, you know I don’t tolerate that kind of attitude.” He smiled as he crawled over you again, catching your lips quickly before he sat back on his heels and pushed your legs wide. With a final look, as if to give you a chance to end things before they went any further, he lined himself up and pressed himself into you. You gasped as he filled you easily, bottoming out. “God you feel good,” he panted, “are you okay? Can I move?” “Yeah,” you nodded, “please move.” He breathed out a small sigh as he pulled his hips back and snapped them forward again, finding a rhythm. As he got more comfortable in the moment, Roger leaned over you again, pushing his face between your breasts and laving your skin with his tongue. He rediscovered the spots he’d found earlier, humming around your nipples and squeezing your boobs as he thrust into you. “Feel good?” “Yeah,” “You close yet?” “Not really.” “That’s alright,” he said softly as he readjusted his position, sitting back and lifting your legs over his shoulders. You felt the angle change as he fucked into you harder than before, his pace a little faster, “Play with your tits for me.” You didn’t hesitate to do as he asked, panting in sync with his thrusts as he dropped his fingers to your clit, rubbing in tight circles, forcing more moans and whines from your throat. “That’s right, tell me how good it is to be spread out under your professor, full of my hard cock. Christ you’re so fucking tight. Why didn’t I fuck you sooner?”.” You let your moans pick up a little as he ploughed into you, willing yourself to reach your climax. “Yeah? You like that. Are you close now?” “Uh-” “So no.” “Sorry, i-it just takes a while usually. I could f-fake it if you wa-nt to stop.” “No!” his voice sounded strained as he stilled inside you, “This is about getting you off and I will keep fucking you even if it takes all night for you to cum. I just need to readjust again.” Your laugh became a small whine as he pulled out of you and rolled you over so you were on top of him, “what are you-?” “Ride me. You said you like being on top so ride me,” You smiled and pressed your lips to his quickly before settling yourself over him and carefully sinking down into place. As you took him as deep as you could you halted a moment to enjoy the sensation of being full again, gently rocking your hips as you braced your hands on Roger’s chest. He held your gaze as he slipped two fingers into his mouth, pulling them out when they were dripping with saliva. He pressed them together with his thumb before bringing the wet digits to your right nipple, massaging it until you arched your back and tilted your head backwards. There was no way to resist any longer and you raised yourself on your knees before sinking back down, grunting as he hit just the right spot. “Better?” he grunted. “Mhmm,” you managed to get out before a moan, once again lifting and dropping yourself. You settled into the flow of it, the movement of your hips and the way you pulsed around him as you took him harder and faster, feeling the pleasure build and build and build. Until Roger’s voice, cracking with the effort, broke through your concentration. “Fuck, I’m close, I’m close. I’m gonna cum,” “Okay,” you said, not sure what else you could say, a little disappointed that it was going to be over before you could finish. So much for all night, though you supposed he’d only said that to help you relax and finish faster. At least it was hot watching him unravel beneath you, his grunts and groans loud and shameless, his hips spasming under yours. You waited until he was done, eyes closed and chest rising and falling rapidly as he tried to regain control of his breathing, and then lifted yourself to dismount him. Or you would have, except you felt his hands grab you by the hips and press you down again. “Your turn,” he said it so earnestly, no hint of the dominant teasing from earlier or any egotistical overconfidence, that you found yourself agreeing immediately, shocked into doing what he was guiding you to. You raised your hips again, let him pull you back down hard and before long you’d found your rhythm again. He let go of your hip, moving the hand to messily rub your clit as you shifted a little, changing the angle by a fraction. It was enough to have you careening towards the edge, even as Roger pulled air through his teeth as the extra stimulation. “So close,” you muttered before he could ask, eyes shut, intent on your mission. “C’mon, cum on my cock, show me how good it feels,” You nodded unthinkingly as he encouraged you, feeling it just out of reach until finally the familiar warmth washed over you, a long moan slipping from between your lips as you swivelled your hips, prolonging the orgasm as long as you could. “There you go, good girl.”
                                                      ******
Roger gasped as you climbed off him and carefully removed his condom to throw it out. “I could have done that,” “You did enough.” He was smiling when you turned back to face him and beckoned you over to join him on the bed once more, pressing a kiss to your jaw and the corner of your mouth before he found your lips again. You sighed against him, lost in the blissful warmth of the moment. “I’ll do it. I’ll tutor you,” Roger said after some time, his arm draped over your side, your faces inches from each other. “You mean it?” “Yes.” “Because I’m a hot shag?” He let out an exhale of laughter, “Because I would rather you learnt about that kind of stuff from someone like me than some random on the internet who thinks that being dominant means being cruel or causing pain. At least I can make sure you approach things from a healthy angle with your own enjoyment in mind as much as your ex’s.” “Thank you. So…when do we start?” “Give me a few days to plan out some lessons, put together a curriculum.” “Oh, so it’s going to be like proper tutoring then.” “You’re the one that came to a teacher about this.” “Fair enough.” You would have happily stayed there longer and you later wondered if Roger would have let you had an alarm on his phone not gone off, a reminder to put his bins out for collection in the morning. He frowned as he realised the time and glanced at you. The piercing melody had brought the reality of the situation back to both of you. “I guess that means I should leave, right?” Roger sat up and scooted a little further away from you, “Yes, you probably should.” He paused for a moment, “No one can know about this.” “I know, I understand. It’s our secret.” He pulled in a breath, “Exactly, our secret. Do you need me to call you a cab?” “No, it’s fine, I drove here.” “Okay. Well, why don’t we get dressed and I’ll walk you out.” “Are you okay with this? If you really don’t want to teach me, I’d understand.” “No I want to. More than I should.” “That’s okay. No one will know and we’ll do things your way, whatever you think is best.” “My way,” he muttered to himself, “Yes. Exactly. Okay. Um, tell you what,” he swung his legs out of the bed and bent forward to retrieve the underwear he’d discarded earlier, pulling them up under cover of the corner of the bed sheet, “I will grab my things and go collect our dishes from dinner. You can stay here and get changed and then when you’re ready to go, come find me in the kitchen, okay Ms Y/L/N?” “Sounds great, Professor Taylor.” He nodded at you once more before he left, bending to collect his pants and shirt on his way. You waited a minute or so, mind racing with the events of the evening and the promise of what would be coming, before you too stood and began to redress.
When you felt sufficiently tidy you stepped out into the hallway and headed in the direction you hoped led to the kitchen. Roger was there, redressed and hardly looking like he’d just got out of bed, leaning against the bench, eyes out of focus. When you arrived though his head jerked around towards your movement. “All good?” he asked, “got everything?” “Yeah, think so.” “Well,” he said, leading you towards the front door, “it was great having you. Over. Having you over. I’m glad we could come to an agreement.” “It was great for me too Professor.” “I will see you in class on Monday, don’t forget about that reading you’re meant to do.” “Got it. Um, can I ask about my next tutoring session, when would that be?” “I will talk to you about it after class on Monday if that’s okay.” “Absolutely, whatever works for you Professor.” He opened the door, standing on his side of the entrance as you stepped outside, “Right, well. Goodnight Ms Y/L/N,” “Goodnight Roger,” you said, quickly leaning in to kiss his cheek, “and thank you.” He still looked a little stunned as you got into your car, wondering just what you’d got yourself into.
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He did? Umm.. what happened exactly?
(referring to this post)
my 11th grade chemistry teacher had an associates degree in liberal arts.
you know how in virtually every class you’ve ever had since middle school, your teachers made a big stink about the syllabus? she didn’t have one. this was her first teaching job, which she got because of her length experience as a substitute, not by her licensing qualifications. we were, at first, excited to have her, because she was a “fun sub” and we were 17 years old and stupid as all shit. we were the “normal chem” class in a system where the only other options were “honors chem” which was filled with children who actually know how to study (or cheat) and have an air of proper student activity, and “AP Chem”, which is clear enough if you’ve been an american student in the last 15 years.
she followed the mcgraw hill chemistry book in order of chapters, despite the fact that our state standardized tests did several of the chapters out of order. ever notice how you’ll suddenly be looking at chapter 11 when just last week you were on chapter 5, then the next week you’re on chapter 8? standardized testing is the reason. anyways by asking my friends in other classes who had chemistry teachers of relative competence, i was able to discern which chapters i should focus on, and while she was distracted with literally watching youtube videos all period, I was turning around in my seat and walking across the classroom helping my friends and enemies with the packets. (she was a two-packets-a-week kinda teacher.)
yes i said enemies too. the people i hated, i hated because they were sons of bitches i wouldnt piss on to put out a fire. i hated them so dearly i used to pray to god that they would bump into me so i could throw myself into the concrete and split my forehead open and get them expelled due to the blood-clause of our “zero-tolerance policy”. two of the kids in my class had, only the previous year, attempted to set my hair on fire.
i hated the teacher more. 
it gave me extreme pleasure to see her fume and clench her fists when a student would say “i need help” across the classroom and she would move to get up and they would say “oh not you miss, im waiting for vicky.” jesus christ the only time ive ever felt a comparable high was when i was at a halloween party in college where i was literally so zooted i couldn’t move.
it got worse over time, her getting more and more angry, my ego growing larger and larger. i was a huge bitch in high school, i really thought i was the smartest bitch in the room at any given moment. severe main character syndrome. imagine that kind of person actually being right for 45 minutes out of every day. can you even comprehend the kind of frustration that would create? in a room full of little sociopaths who dont give a shit about anything but getting this joke of a class over with so they can graduate? your first real teaching job and they look right past you, the teacher, to this annoying little shit whose grades are completely abysmal? how are they managing to learn anything from a child who can barely speak in front of more than 10 people? who turns cherry red in the face of literally every authority figure in the building except you? who can’t concentrate and stay still in one spot for more than five minutes? all of your other classes behave! they listen! they sit down and shut up and do the packets! so what fucking gives!!!
so you say “fine, since you all HATE ME so much i just won’t teach then!!!” on literally week fucking ten of teaching. and instead of prostrating themselves before you, begging you to like... point at transparencies and read directly from powerpoints i guess.
and they all collectively say “okay” and let the chipmunk child flutter between desks and help them memorize formulas and mnemonic devices and shit. surely her grades will suffer if she’s constantly dealing with other people and you’ll have justification that her horseshit is “distracting” and “a detriment to her studies”. she got bored gave up on that after two days after nothing changed.
then we did the midterm.
except at the end of the exam packet was something we never learned because again, she was going through the book chronologically. because i actually enjoyed the chem book (so much that i stole it when the year was up lmao), i knew the material.
it was about lewis dots/structures. i couldn’t tell you a damn thing about it today but in december 2010 i absolutely knew that shit. i didnt have too much of a problem with it in the exam, but the students who had gotten to that point were complaining and at first she pulled that “you should have been studying independently uwu” shit but the class was about to get loud during exam period so she shushed us and said that when we get to that point, just stop, and she’ll mark it correct during grading, no harm no foul just keep it quiet. one of the more confrontational students called horseshit and said theres no way we’re trusting that and there’s definitely no way anyone will keep an entire classroom cheating at the instruction of the teacher quiet.
i offered to teach it.
she scoffed, rolled eyes, said “sure fine but you can’t get your exam back” and i said “okay.” so when everyone was to the point in the exam, we piled them all on her desk and i used the whiteboard to briefly and quietly explain lewis dots, used the book examples and problems, and helped the other kids understand. there were a couple exam questions that were lifted straight from the book problems so i skipped those. while teaching i realized i had gotten a couple wrong which sucked :( it was an incredibly stupid experience overall, and no teacher worth the paper their certification is printed on would have allowed that to happen. and fucking yet.
anyways everyone but me got their exams back and finished it and many of us passed, only a few of them did particularly well.
discussing the chem exam with friends who also took the chem exam, many students found their anecdote about the lewis dots to be confounding, for you see, the exam we took was not, in fact, the midterm, but the god damned final.
she had us taking the fucking final because she didnt read the fucking folders which read “midterm” and “final exam” on them
she was reprimanded severely and we all had to take the exam on different days, in different classrooms, sitting very far apart. after that she hated me even more. like girl it was your fault lmao i am literally a teenager grow up lol. anyways you can imagine how much more fucking insufferable i became, knowing how miserable she was.
it all came to a head in february when some students were giggling quietly following a minor fuck up on her part regarding bellwork. they were making fun of her like “are you sure thats not tomorrows bellwork lol” and a friend next to me did the “hey i need help wait no miss not you sorry” thing and when i answered him, she solidly snapped. blah blah YOURE SOOOO DISTRACTING blah blah YOU THINK YOURE SOOOO SMART DONT YOU blah blah blah and she was like demanding i leave the room and shouting at the top of her lungs at me “ YOU POISON THE MINDS OF EVERY OTHER STUDENT HERE. YOU’RE POISONOUS VICTORIA, YOU’RE A VIRUS IN THIS CLASSROOM.”
i will never forget that line as long as i live. it was like crack to me. i moved to open the door to leave and the vp opened it first. he escorted me to the office and asked me what happened, then told me to keep my head down in class from now on, and that if i wanted to help my friends i should give them my number and help them out on our own time. i was like “bro thats really stupid” and he was like “thats all we can do right now but i promise we’re working on it”
i lasted the rest of the year giving smug smiles as we did packet after fucking packet for the rest of the year. they were all take-home work. i wasnt comfy giving my number to my enemies. the class camaraderie ended.
the final was altered. my class took a different final than the rest of the normal chem classes.
i started 12th grade and got a solid case of senioritis. i told that story to anyone who would listen. while it was happening, i obviously told my favorite teacher everything as it happened. when i mentioned it senior year he was like “oh yeah i forgot about her,
she was fired over the summer.”
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evanthomasvieira · 2 years
Text
So I’ve decided I’m making my own personal digital journal maybe some one out there agrees with my way of seeing things.
If not thats MORE welcomed as I’m Eager to learn NEW perspectives whither or not that perspective is 100% correct.
Im open to all topics and give my word to always speak words of wisdom and try my hardest to only uplift people and spread knowledge.
Im a leader in any community i become integrated with because I respect others word I put respect in the fact that I believe that person is telling me the truth.
I Appreciate culture Love all walks of life, I live and let live, if you are kind and peaceful than so am I.
FEAR is the biggest driver for violence
Dont allow fear to cause you to be violent society has not abandon you, not yet. If you become Evil they will.
Which leads me to why ive started this page to stop the spread of evil. And encourage the power of being a good person. So people can see how much cooler it is to be good.
I have become scared that we as humans have lost touch with what it means to be human. We make mistakes we can not keep this act of perfection up.
Topic#1 School shootings
(In a nut shell)
Schools have become breeding grounds for fears of the unknown internally by ones self and externally by violence. First lets get it straight that fears get amplified by trama amongst peers. In order for schools to be safe students need to first understand the importance of caring for each-other Mentally. The people you share the class room with are your peers. Those peers will go on to impacts MANY other life’s besides your short time with them in class…. Which in turn could come back to result in something changing amazingly in your life like a fantastic invention for example. However this trickle effect works inversely and can spiral downward if evil wins.
If you really want to kill people shoot up a jailhouse LMAO jk but “all good jokes contain true shit”. - J Cole
Stop bullying people because they’re different TO YOU everyone is different thats what makes us so amazing and why everyone has certain things about them that are so wonderful.
Stop shunning people. Speak your mind politely so that others know why they’ve been shunned and give them opportunity to improve or improve your own out look / assumption.
Include everyone
Teach them good from evil
Let them be themselves while showing them ways they can grow or where they may-be weak if they agree offer help do not damage that weakness further.
Do not assume everyone you meet has had the same lifestyle as you.
Maybe someday someone will kindly fill the spaces where you are personally weak wither thats mentally or physically, spiritually or emotionally.
If we do not start recognizing our peers feelings how can we recognize our own, and if you only recognizing your own feelings than wondering why nothing is changing, well than there is your answer is right there. (Your only recognizing yourself) . Everyone is tired We all work very hard. Consider that with your peers as you would like someone to consider that with you. We will lose touch of what it feels like to be sad , angry, happy, tired, and we will no longer have baselines for how we should feel regularly. If we don’t recognize that this world is hard for ALL of us that haven’t become fully comfortable than no one will ever be comfortable.
“These are emotions, human reaction to how certain things make us feel. If you have a great day than you have great feelings. Not everyday will be great though and thats where you must learn to love yourself and continue to be pure and not evil.” - YP
Evil never wins and thats is my lesson for today
ps. Every Villain Is Lemons 😂
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deansmom · 3 years
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I don’t think anything about movies hurts me more than Andrew Garfield having the third Spider-Man movie and a part in the MCU ripped out from under him. He loved Peter so much, he had such big ideas and dreams for the franchise and I just 🥺 Andrew deserves to be in the MCU, god fucking damn it. Retcon everything, refilm Avengers (2012) but Peter stumbles onto the battle of New York on his way home and he helps the Avengers win. Loki tries to mind control him and Pete just laughs in his face and then breaks Loki’s nose. He doesn’t join them for shawarma, but Steve does show up to his school to explain why Peter was late for his final.
[clutches chest] PETER PARKER SWINGS ON DOWN TO DC TO HELP NATASHA AND STEVE WHEN THEY FIND OUT SHIELD IS MOSTLY HYDRA. R-RATED CAP2, BUT IT’S RATED R BECAUSE PETER CAN’T STOP CURSING. ALSO THE WINTER SOLDIER RUNNING INTO PETER PARKER WOULD BE VERY FUNNY BECAUSE IMAGINE HOW BUCKY LOOKED IN CAP3 WHEN PETE CAUGHT HIS HAND BUT ITS AG PETER AND HE CATCHES THE FIST AND IS LIKE “SORRY ABOUT THIS ASSHOLE, THATS A DOPE ASS ARM, BUT UH [snaps it off] FUCK NAZI’S” AND THAT MAKES THE MASK FALL OFF AND STEVE STILL DOES THE “😮 Bucky?” And the winter soldier does his “who the hell is Bucky?” And Pete’s like off to the side, incredulous and without the spidey suit just in his college kid street clothes, jerks his thumb at Bucky, “CAP YOU KNOW THIS FUCKING NAZI OR SOMETHING???”
PETER AND NICK FURY LMAO HE’D FOLLOW NICK AROUND MIMICKING HIM PERFECTLY EVEN THOUGH HE CANT SEE HIM AND IT WOULD INFURIATE HIM. He gets Maria to laugh four times in one briefing though by dropping wigs onto nick from the ceiling
Tiny baby pete showing up in iron man 3 to call Tony a fucking idiot and save him from himself and drive him to therapy and he shows Gwen Tony’s plan for taking the arc reactor out and in twenty minutes they’re like “lol yeah we can fix this in an afternoon, no problem grandpa.” And Tony wants to be livid but the science is sound and that damn Gwen Stacy is just so smart, and he’s really gonna trust a college student with this, isn’t he?
Tell me andrews Peter Parker wouldn’t have followed Natasha after civil war and shown up at her trailer and been like, “hey, there’s a bad guy following you, thought you should know. Ohhh, is that caviar? I’ll take that. Thanks nat! What are we watching?” And she’s just standing there as he steals her rare russian caviar right out of her hand because what the fuck, Peter. Also his commentary with Yelena would be great. They’d love each other and it would drive Natasha bonkers. “God you’re such a mom.” “Sorry Nat. It’s true.” “Ive killed people you know. Lots of people.” Peter, deadpan perfect imitation of Elle Woods, “what, like it’s hard?”
Sam HATES him, complains about the fucking millennial and his taste in music and it’s mostly jokes, but Peter starts calling him an old man and referring to him as dad in public both to confuse the general public and remind Sam that he is, in fact, old enough to have a kid in his mid 20’s when nobody bats an eye at it. A couple of nice old ladies in the subway even tell Pete he has his fathers eyes, and Sam can’t fucking breathe he’s so horrified that they think a 25 year old white boy hipster is his child, but Bucky and Steve are in tears laughing so hard
Peter tries to do the same thing to Steve and Bucky, pass them off as his dads, but to everyone’s horror neither one of them bats an eye at this and they start calling him son and sweetpea and champ in front of people and Steve pinches his cheeks at a parent’s night at his college and Bucky charms a couple baby pictures out of Aunt May and has Natasha photoshop him and Steve into them and shows them to people and Peter hates it. They have an open invite to any parent events though, but usually it’s only one of them who escorts Aunt May and plays the part of doting dad. Also, they would adore aunt May. Absolutely adore her and flirt shamelessly with her, to Peter’s abject horror, and May flirts back, “I’m old, not dead and blind, Peter.”
Oh, older angstier Peter and Bruce 🥺 Bruce comforting him after Gwen dies and Peter’s one of the only people who can talk the hulk down. The hulk even likes Peter. They spar sometimes when Pete’s in a Mood. Bruce GETS it, feeling like something you love so much stole even more from you and resenting it and resenting yourself sometimes and being angry at the world and yourself all the time and they just vibe so hard. Tony often comments that he’s jealous, because all Peter has to do is send Bruce a meme and he gets like a real honest to god full body laugh. He can make the fucking hulk laugh in the middle of a fight. Peter unironically gets Bruce a #1 dad mug for Father’s Day, and May helps him make a #1 Hulk Dad hat for the hulk for Father’s Day too. Because reasons.
Pete, Bucky, Thor, Steve and Natasha play drinking games that Peter teaches them but they play them with asgardian alcohol so they all get absolutely fucking hammered and Peter plants one on thor and Bucky and then drunkenly stumbles away grumbling about kissing grandpa ex-hydra assassins and whining that he stopped kissing Thor in the first place. None of them comment the next morning but at Christmas Peter can’t seem to go around a corner in the tower without running into Thor and some mistletoe. And then he meets Jane and wants to die because he’s a huge fan of her work but also he didn’t realize they were dating and “oh my god, I’ve been kissing the boyfriend of one of the greatest minds of our generation, I’m a terrible person” and Tony and Bruce are like “excuse me??!”
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curseofaphrodite · 3 years
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hi bae
my head hurts like hell. imagine having ✨vertigo and migraine✨ both together i cry i cry 😭
i'm about to rant now so feel free to close your eyes and i'll share my poetry in the next ask bc i feel this is gonna be real long 😸
anywho i'm gonna share my first poetry w you bc idk it holds a special place in my heart and no matter how many poems i write that would be always my favourite plus plus plus i never edited it so lol i improved a lot more now ig
my deadass wrote gonna as goona i can't spell to save life🥲
i randomly remembered one of my 6th grade math teachers hated me bc she and my mum (my mum's a teacher and she taught at my school till 2019!) were beefing w eachother?? i remember. once we were having some quiz like thing with selected students so all the others who didn't participate sat in different class rooms. i was completing my work and she out of no where started questioning me??? and of a chapter which wasn't even taught to us (i was in 6A and she taught in 6C does it make sense now-) lowkey (highkey😊😊🤩😍😍✨✨) hate her.
let me tell you about my toxic friend. for the time being let's call her "tina". anywho this tina she dates guys she doesn't even like genuinely?? like miss girl you have the full right to date anyone but why tf would you date ppl you don't actually like. also she sult shames us if we even just talk to guys. once we were having a big occasion in school and we were wearing traditional clothes and my guy friends were complementing me and my other friend (we wore saree! she didn't tho) and nyasa (my other friend) liked a guy and he liked her back so they were sitting next to each other and after sometime nyasa left for sometime due to work and tina immediately sat on nyasas chair and started talking to that guy and his friends. idk what she told him but he ignored nyasa and now they're not close anymore 🥲👍 anywhore nyasa came back and sat next to me and we were chatting then tina has the audacity to act offended? hurt? betrayed? and she was like "why are you two not talking to me? did i do something? omg were you talking about me???😟😧" misS GIRL SHUT UP. nyasa was pissed bc 1. she took her seat 2. that guy wasn't talking to her properly 3. we were sitting under the sun whole day and it was fcking tiring sO SHE WENT OFF ON TINA CALLED HER OUT (privately tho) AND IGNORED HER FOR THE REST OF THE PROGRAM mf tina still the audacity to act clueless.
i would've told you so many more incidents where she did shits but this is getting real long so bye bye bye (pls tell me if you're interested in this i would love to bitch abt her lmao sorry😔☝️)
have a good day and take care ily<3
🔮
HUDKJAKJS HJHSKSDJ????? TAT IS SO DUMB OF HER.
first of all, i love receiving long asks with stuff/rants/anything. I get SO invested in them so don't ever think I'll get tired of it xx
second of all, OMG YOU'RE DESI??? (correct me if im wrong!) if so, SO AM I?? DESI BESTIES YAYAY
thirdly, tina sounds so much like this one shitty person i know who actually stopped talking to me because of a guy too?? so what im saying is, pls continue to bitch about her and ill bitch about my toxic ex-bestie in return. she moved to another town tho so headache's gone xx
and excuse me but the maths teacher sucks. SUE her for putting you on the spot like that WHEN SHE DOESN'T EVEN TEACH YOU BRUH thats a new time dumbfuckery.
my day was finee. I went to offline classes after two years and it was mostly yoga today so i slept on the floor <3
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botanyshitposts · 4 years
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yo so as i have 4 months of doing nothing and an entire uni library worth of books i thought I'd try n teach myself about botany!!! do you have any recommendations on where to start? i know thats pretty open ended, maybe some books you could recommend or something? :0
oh man i get lots of questions on this and the answer is that there are like, a few books on general botany, but from there it depends on what you’re interested in, and in my opinion half of the battle with that is 1. getting the basic knowledge of advanced-ish biology in general to have a basis for it (which many good into botany textbooks will provide in the opening chapters) and 2. knowing which search terms to use to find what you’re looking for. botany as a field is a lot more than just identifying plants; if you want to learn how to identify plants specifically, you want to go looking for plant systematics stuff, or alternatively, floras (more academic) or identification guides (more accessible), which will be different depending on your region!!
that being said, i know i’ve recommended this on here before, but by far the most accessible basic botany text i’ve ever read has to be Life Processes of Plants by Arthur W. Galston. because this one was produced as part of a set of natural history books by the scientific american library, it’s written in a pretty readable style, and although i don’t think it’s as comprehensive as what you would get from a Real Botany Textbook(tm) he does a good job of giving advanced-ish biology context when it’s needed, mostly while talking about molecular stuff, which is soooooo important to understanding ANYTHING about botany, trust me on this one. that being said, it doesn’t go into much detail about plant diversity at all, so again, not perfectly comprehensive, but you know.
(Also, side note about Arthur W. Galston; he was a botanist who was interested throughout his life primarily in how plants respond to light and chemicals. when he was a grad student, he did his thesis on a chemical called 2,3,5-triiodobenzoic acid and its effects on soybean flowering, and recorded and published how it seemed to defoliate the plants at a high enough concentration. this is a completely normal and reasonable thing to study and, quite literally, i cannot stress enough, is no different than the kind of thing botanists studying plant responses research today, because plants are surprisingly chemically complex organisms and it’s just kinda endless in that regard....except that while the Vietnam war came along and the British and US militaries were looking for ways to thin out the Vietnamese jungle, they decided to use his very specific plant research to make the infamous chemical agent orange, which knowingly decimated the environment in Vietnam and, as we now know, causes severe health problems in people who are exposed to it and continues to affect survivors today. not expecting his very specific soybean research to be used by the US military for committing like, you know, war crimes, and obviously finding it really goddamn vile in general, Galston then spent the rest of his life as a bioethicist in addition to being a botanist, and contributed heavily into putting agent orange out of use while he was a professor of botany at yale. the book jacket just gives a blurb saying he was a professor of botany at yale, which again is like, true, but holy shit dude.)
aside from Galston’s book, Raven’s Biology of Plants is a good more traditional textbook. lots of editions of this one, and i’ve seen multiple people swear by it. i got an old edition of this at a half priced bookstore when i was still in high school, and i remember being kind of annoyed that it kept going over exactly what i was concurrently learning in AP biology, which in retrospect is like...actually a very good thing to have going on, lmao. this one is pretty comprehensive and covers a wide range of topics.
the other one that deserves a mention is Asa Gray’s Manual of Botany. this one is VERY OLD and hasn’t had a new release in half a century or so if i remember correctly, but it’s notable because for a long time it was THE textbook of botany. like through the 1800s and half the 1900s. it’s definitely...antiquated compared to our modern understanding of botany, but you can see how things kind of started out, and more striking is seeing what hung on; mostly a lot of like, names for parts and types of flower arrangements and cell types and stuff. looking back through my copy, which was surprisingly easily obtained and is REALLY old to the point where it feels just a little sticky when you touch it (copyright page says 1887), a lot of the first few chapters aren’t too different then what i was taught this past semester in plant systematics in terms of naming basic plant anatomy stuff (petioles, racemes, stipules, carnivorous leaf shapes, types of leaf margins, basic cell types, stuff like that), which is interesting. definitely wouldn’t like, rely on it solely to do botany things today, but something to be noted. my uni’s library has a copy along with a lot of other stuff Asa Gray wrote, which were along the same lines depending on what they were written on.
Anyway. lots of stuff out there. depends on what you want to learn, in the long run.
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springfieldblues · 4 years
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my long ass review for S32E03 Now Museum, Now You Don’t
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warning: LONG because i rambled about history more than i thought i would
id been looking forward to this one because i like art history, especially after seeing how they tried their best to stick to historical accuracy in the previous episode I, Carumbus. this time however….they didnt try that hard. i dont know why i thought theyd go through that sort of trouble again LMAO
but its okay, i dont really expect the simpsons to be the paragon of historical accuracy or anything. especially in anthology episodes told through a particular character's lens (in this case, lisa, whos already feverish so whatever)
first i just wanna say that this is, i guess, less of a review and more of an accidental list of history fun facts. so im just gonna get my general thoughts out of the way first.
the episode was fun! to me at least haha. i mean it got me to think and do a lot of research on my own so that must count for something. besides a couple of really weird ones, the jokes were good. anthology episodes tend to be….not that good but i thought this one was one of the better ones so far. idk.
anyway on to lisanardo da vinky its the renaissance! jesus christ the italian accents in the beginning of this segment were annoying as hell but i also feel like that was the joke lmao. ill be real i kind of tuned out for a second there when grampa started rambling so idk what he said.
i told myself i wouldnt get nitpicky with historical accuracy if the jokes were funny (final edit: so that was a lie) but this meh bit with the pizza guys and mascots was really not worth ignoring the fact that its impossible for italy to have any tomato-based food in the 15th century (tomatoes were brought to europe from the americas in the 16th century, and pizza as we know it today—flatbread, cheese, tomato—originated in the late 18th century)
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oh this next part was kind of legit tho. lisanardo, like the real leonardo, became andrea del verrochio's apprentice at his workshop. i loved this next bit:
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"Whoever paints the sweetest cherub will have the honor of having MY name signed on their work. That's what great artists do!"
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SO YEAH as it turns out, lisanardo painted the sweetest cherubs. the painting here is called The Baptism of Christ, and the real leonardo assisted verrochio in finishing it. specifically, he painted the cherubs in the corner.
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this causes verrochio to quit and go someplace with less talented people: a music school (yes, verrochio did quit painting after getting owned by young leo and his mad angel painting skills. he never did anything with music tho, he was more of a sculptor)
alongside lisanardo, in mr largo-verrochio's workshop we have barticelli (botticelli bart), dolphatello (donatello dolph), ralphael (raphael...ralph) and mediocrito (no one that i know of. sorry milhouse) (and kearney i guess but they dont refer to him by name). botticelli and donatello are said to have also been apprentices at verrochio's workshop, but raphael came a couple of decades later so he couldnt have been there. and donatello was too old so that claim is a bit questionable. but anyway
it IS true that leonardo's peers envied him, to the point where he was anonymously and purposefully accused of being gay (a major crime punishable by death in 15th century florence) while he was still working at verrochio's workshop
we are then treated by what im pretty sure is the fourth time the show has used 'at seventeen' by janis ian, this time sung by a dejected lisanardo (man they really do keep making yeardley sing these days huh) who only wishes to be appreciated and not envied.
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"I'll show them all! I'll show them all in a secret diary that no one will decipher for 400 years!"
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some of lisanardo's future inventions. who wouldve known
so after barticelli, for some reason (revenge??? or something?? what was his plan here idgi) steals lisanardo's diaries full of blueprints of her inventions and takes them to mr burns who i have to assume is pope alexander VI here, they decide to use her inventions for war.
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"With these, we can kill the most evil people in the world!! ....Slightly different Christians."
leo actually did this of his own accord. im surprised this is what they decided to do with lisanardo instead of talking about leo's love of nature and vegetarianism (not a single mention of that in this episode? come on...) then again, trying to do good only to end up indirectly making things worse is a very standard lisa storyline. i guess they didnt want to miss the chance to have evil pope burns (very fitting, especially for that era since they were all about money and controlling the people)
so lisanardo decides to leave for france, unlike the real leonardo who was more or less persuaded by his ultimate fanboy king francis I to move to france.
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"Lisanardo, I have many questions. Why are you hitting yourself? A nerd says 'what'? And how is it possible that I am rubber and you are glue? Et cetera, et cetera."
that line may seem a little random, like hes just nelson saying nelson things (and i mean, obviously he is) but the real francis also "had an unquenchable thirst for learning, and Leonardo was the world’s best source of experimental knowledge. He could teach the king about almost any subject there was to know, from how the eye works to why the moon shines." so yeah, he did have many questions and lisanardo, finally being appreciated for her intellect, was happy to answer them all. its very interesting how lisa assigned this role to nelson in her retelling of da vinci’s life :^)
and so she lived the rest of her days in france, nat king cole's 'mona lisa' plays because duh, and they make a da vinci code reference because duh. and the segment ends. and not a single time did they show the actual mona lisa painting. the fuck?
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(ngl i was fully expecting bart to say 'leonardo da vinky' for a second here)
so this next segment is about french impressionist painters, most likely the batignolles group, a name adopted by the early representatives of impressionism. its much more vague than the lisanardo segment since no one here is referred to by name (except moe, more on him in a sec) but i dont feel like it really matters in this case. bart is prrrrooobably claude monet but its hard to say, this segment is kind of a mish-mash of a lot of things. also i gotta say i really liked how lisa introduced the story to bart with an 'if you hate the formal study of art' and not 'if you hate art' because thats exactly my headcanon. i LOVE the concept of artist bart and whenever its referenced it just makes perfect sense to me.
anyway the segment opens in 1863 at the école des beaux-arts (back then it was actually known as the académie des beaux-arts), preserver of traditional french art styles. skinner reviews his students’ paintings one by one. praises the plain, unimaginative paintings depicting your typical european countryside landscapes. very run-of-the-mill (haha get it...cuz theres….a windmill) (although the real académie didnt approve of such basic stuff, they wanted artists to draw epic historical and mythological scenes) then he gets to barts painting and he gives him an F- because the painting made him think.
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(the paintings in this scene arent real famous paintings as far as i know but they are inspired by real paintings enough to get the point across)
in comes barney dressed as bacchus as a model for the students to sketch, which i just loved:
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barney: “You prefer robe open or robe off?” skinner: “Just cover your privates with this walnut shell.” barney: “Whoa!!! So roomy!”
skinner gasps in horror at bart’s sketch, which “looks nothing like him” and bart explains that “it shouldn’t; we’re making the art that we feel because we can’t compete with a camera.” damn, you go bart. take that, realism. draw what you feel!!
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(also no, you didnt need to hold still for 17 hours for a daguerreotype. 30 min tops.)
nelson haw-haw of the week: FOIE-gras!
so here they are at the moulin rouge (“enjoy it before baz luhrmann ruins it” hey shut up. i love that movie), which wouldnt be built for another 26 years, but it is the most widely known gathering place for bohemians in the public consciousness so i can understand why they went with the moulin. nelson delivers this anachronistic line:
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“This époque keeps getting beller and beller!”
which alludes to la belle époque, the golden age of france usually dated from 1880 to 1914. made me snort so ill let that slide
and heres moe! as henri de toulouse-lautrec, who was actually born a year after the year this segment is set in. yo moe szyslak he was just 1
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toulouse-moetrec introduces himself as the chronicler of the demimonde (not an actual job). an iconic figure associated with the moulin rouge (largely due to his affinity for alcohol and prostitutes), toulouse-lautrec was also a painter, having illustrated a series of posters for the moulin himself. he simply had to be in this segment, anachronisms be damned, just because they decided to include the moulin. cant have one without the other.
and yes he did have a walking cane where he kept his liquor.
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i love how everyone drinks absinthe in this place. theyre bohemians what else would they drink
toulouse-moetrec points out that barts paintings are the greatest thing hes ever seen (and hes seen like five things!) and that hes a genius. milhouse realizes that they should stop doing what the teacher says and use their own minds to instead...start doing what bart says lmao. to the easels!
next we have skinner hyping up chalmers about the art his students made for the salon de paris, an art exhibition that the emperor of france will attend. he assures him that none of these paintings will encourage debate, provoke thought or be out of place at a dentist’s office. when they unveil the art, theyre both SHOCKED at how scandalous the paintings actually are.
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this reaction was kind of accurate. impressionism was severely rejected at the salon de paris, due to paintings not looking finished enough to them, they thought they were ugly and vulgar for depicting nudity in a contemporary setting (historical and mythological nudity was fine). these impressionist paintings were sent to the salon de refusés, which is. yeah. the place where they sent the rejects. the salon de refusés does not make an appearance but this scene makes a reference to it when the artists get expelled from the royal salon. also:
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“What about our student loans?” “Oh they’ll be refunded. We are not barbarians, I mean, come on.”
(god if only)
so the painters are down because they want the emperor to actually see their paintings. toulouse-moetrec pipes in once again with an idea.
“There is one thing the emperor loves more than anything.” “France?” “No, he hates France.”
apparently the emperor really loves cheese, which makes sense since its napoleon III (who loved cheese) and homer (who loves cheese.) so the painters roll into the salon inside a giant wheel of cheese (obviously.) as lenny said, “Eh, you know French cheese. Very runny.” napoleon III chases after the wheel into a room, where the wheel falls apart after getting chomped on by the emperor. now that they got his attention, the painters proudly show the emperor their impressionist art, which he couldnt be more indifferent about because he just wants to eat his cheese dammit, and he awards them with the royal medallion just to kind of get them out of his way. skinner immediately starts kissing ass (as he does) until marge’s like ‘hey wait a minute. you expelled these students from the royal salon’ and an executioner immediately starts ominously measuring skinners neck.
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“Uh, sir...is your tongue sticking out because you’re dead or because you’re mad at me?”
and thats the end of that lmao (gore in this episode, gore in the last episode, and next week we’re getting gore too cuz its THOH, what the hell is goin on)
we get a short intermission with maggie, who wants a story for her too! lisa tells her that renaissance artists loved to put babies in their paintings, especially baby angels.
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here she is showing her The Triumph Of Galatea by raphael:
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King David Playing The Harp by peter paul reubens:
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and a very simplified version of pretty much any depiction of hell by hyeronimus bosch lmao:
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not much else to say about this one, really. but i really liked that sky!
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the last segment is about frida kahlo and diego rivera. or as bart puts it ‘the one about a fat guy whos wife is too good for him.’ i was REALLY looking forward to this one because i love frida and i thought itd be a cool opportunity for animators to go bonkers and do really cool shit with her art as inspiration…..but the segment is not about frida, its about diego and his selling out to capitalism. and its also yet another story with homer and marge drama. no funky cool animation here. sigh i guess i’ll take it
the story begins in 1929 at la casa azul, frida’s home (now museum dedicated to her life and work.) frida and diego are getting married. this courtyard definitely did not look this way yet back in 1929. also theres something very cringy yet funny about lovejoy saying spanish words the way he does, i honestly cant decide how i feel about that one
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the writers know theyre being cringy with their gringoness so they go along with it.
moe: “Spanish for ‘best wishes’!” mel: “Spanish for ‘congratulations’!” bumblebee man: “Spanish for ‘muy bueno’!”
OH YEAH BUMBLEBEE MAN this is his new voice actor, eric lopez! hes not mexican but its still great to finally have a latino actor voicing a latino character and hes very excited to be part of the show so i hope to hear more of him!! im rooting for him
el barto/zorro makes an appearance which i am very confused about. he has jack shit to do with frida and diego and mexico in the 20s-30s. el zorro was set in the spanish california of the early 19th century. their use of the original theme song makes me think they just wanted to flex their disney privileges tbh
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lets not talk about that that whole scene was bad
anyway diego announces he and frida are going to new york, without even asking her first. frida is obviously pissed.
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“Don’t worry, as a woman, you’ll be treated with much more respect in America.”
so in new york, diego is having a bit of a business meeting with mr burns as one of the members of the rockefellers, who is commissioning him to draw a mural for the rockefeller center. its kinda funny how he refers to him and frida as socialists even though they were very much communists lmao its okay you can say it. ok so far, but then frida says ‘yes, we hate the capitalists! right now, a young socialist is being born who will take them down! mr. bernie sanders. i hope hes quick about it’ and that was a simple enough joke and couldve been left at that but then its immediately followed by this weird as fuck family guy-esque cutaway gag to bernie as a baby:
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“Getting a cootie shot should not cost your lunch money. And if you don’t listen to me, listen to the Bernie Babies! What? Everybody’s got goons.” *larger babies start beating up this other baby* “I disavow that, and welcome it.”
this confused me so much that i had to ask one of my american friends to help me understand, but even she was like ‘uhhh yeah thats a weird joke,’ especially now that hes been out of the race for months (then again these episodes take almost a year to produce. i guess they couldnt be bothered to replace it with something more relevant.) whatever that was weird and confusing and unfunny moving on
frida is pretty irked that diego is going through with this deal. after all, it goes against everything they believe in. im not sure how the real frida felt about diego doing the mural, but she did feel a bit of rage during her visit to the united states, especially the obvious disparity between rich and poor. she hated having to interact with capitalists and found americans very boring. in this segment, frida seems to be acting more like the american communist party, which diego got kicked out of for accepting commissions from wealthy patrons. in any case, frida is pretty upset about this whole thing.
and finally we get the first and only kind of surreal frida moment. kinda. maybe. its more cartoonish than anything but im desperate ok
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interesting how they felt like they had to add a “don’t smoke” in big letters after showing patty and selma flying away on their giant cigarettes. i wonder if this is something theyre making them do now? i remember hearing something about them toning down patty and selma’s smoking
diego comes home to frida, drunk as hell, followed by the marx brothers. i cant believe they didnt make a marxism joke come on it was RIGHT THERE. THE MARX BROTHERS. KARL MARX. COME ON
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frida paints her feelings.
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this makes diego realize that frida is a genius and he is not half the artist she is. he proclaims he will now show his awe of her by sleeping with other women, starting “an hour ago.” to which frida replies, “and i will start sleeping with other women, starting two hours ago.” yes this was pretty much their relationship. though im just wondering how the hell did diego not know frida was this kind of artist until now? i know homers an idiot but jeez. art was how frida and diego met, diego knew from the get-go that frida was an incredible artist. i guess the fame got to his head or something. again, homer just being stupid.
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“well enough already, while the art is still deco, okay?”
its time for the mural diego painted, Man At The Crossroads, to be unveiled:
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rockefeller examines it. good and great so far, and then...uh oh
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“Who’s that fellow…? With the beard, and the bolshevik smile…” “That’s the founder of Soviet Russia, Lenin!”
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“B-b-but he’s a communist!” “Oh he just attended a couple of meetings.”
rockefeller will not have this communist in the temple to capitalism that is the rockefeller center, so he orders diego to paint over it. diego stands his ground and refuses. despite rockefeller’s threats, diego says that theres only one person he wants to be proud of him no matter what and in true homer & marge fashion, frida is touched by this. they happily leave the rockefeller center.
now, the real story of Man At The Crossroads and the rockefeller center was actually not that different. as soon as the rockefellers found out diego had snuck in a portrait of lenin into the mural, they ordered him to paint over it, to which he refused. diego even offered to include abraham lincoln and even american abolitionists in the mural as a compromise, but the rockefellers simply did not want any references to communism whatsoever. they did not complain about the hammer and sickle, though. yes, they did know diego was a communist and hired him anyway. what did they expect? lmao. diego said:
"Rather than mutilate the conception [of the mural], I shall prefer the physical destruction of the conception in its entirety, but preserving, at least, its integrity."
so they decided to destroy the mural before it was even finished and they never talked to each other again.
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diego then repainted the mural at the palacio de bellas artes back in mexico, this time known as Man, Controller of the Universe. this new version included even more communist leaders and a depiction of john d. rockefeller jr. drinking at a nightclub, right underneath a depiction of syphilis bacteria. cue nelson haw-haw:
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this was the version they used in the episode also, since the original was, well, never finished and also destroyed. only a black and white photograph of it exists, taken by diego before it was destroyed so he could remake it.
right so, homer!diego then pulls a Barthood and finishes the episode with a large mural summarizing the entire episode. he says some rick and morty thing i didnt get because i dont watch the show idk idc
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the end
ALRIGHT NOW ITS TIME FOR THE STORY OF VINCENT VAN MOE
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zettabita · 4 years
Text
RIVALS: Spark I
Rivals Master List
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hi guys! ok so this is becoming more action than romance lmao I promise next time ill make it...fluffier...? 
I need to get this story out of my head HAHAHAH so I’ll just keep writing. :D In this chapter, you might be a lil OP but thats ok bc you’re amazing irl <3 
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a masaki ichijou x fem reader fic
Genre: action, romance Warnings: mild swearing Word count: 2.2k+
Previous: Thunder
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You really didn’t see what was coming when Saegusa-senpai pulled you into a discussion room the night before your first Ice Pillar Break match. You were meandering about the hotel, you see, trying to get rid of your pre-event jitters. You were inspecting the vending machine (Why doesn’t this have milk tea?) at the end of the corridor when Saegusa-senpai suddenly popped out from nowhere and urged you to follow her into a room full of very intimidating Third year students and an expectant Tatsuya. 
The first thing that crossed your mind when Juumonji-senpai told you in that room that you were chosen to substitute for Monolith Code was the horrible image of you tripping over a rock in the middle of a battlefield. The second thing was how you were so unlucky that the first year they allowed girls to compete in Monolith Code and increased the number of members on a team was your year (but hey, hooray for gender equality.) 
Not wanting to embarrass your school, you tried to put up a good fight. But what about Miyuki, you said. They said that she had two events already and Tatsuya scrunched his face a little bit at the idea. But I don’t have combat experience, you said. They said that Monolith Code, a glorified, no-contact capture-the-flag-with-magic contest, isn’t really live combat and your skills were needed in the team Tatsuya was forming. Not wanting to further bother the scary Third years who looked like they were getting more impatient by the second, you grimly added “not get stomped on at Monolith Code” to your Nine Magic Schools Competition to-do list (At the top of your list was “melt a lot of ice”, which you would later tick off in your Ice Pillar Break match with Mutsuba-san the next day.)
And that’s how you found yourself standing in front of a black pillar in the middle of an open field with Tatsuya Shiba, Leonhard Saijou, and Mikihito Yoshida at the Monolith Code finals, trying in vain to gulp down your nervousness. 
At the far end of the field, you see four figures in dark red armor. They had one girl fidgeting more nervously than you were (It was somehow comforting.) You eye the tallest one, the one with the brownish-red hair tucked underneath the helmet before closing your eyes.
“We need you to counter Ichijou Masaki.” Tatsuya says, almost apologetically. 
You almost spat out your drink from the hotel minibar. “You need me to do what?!” (You panic now, but years later, you thank Tatsuya for his decision. Masaki thanks him too.) You were hanging out in your room with your teammates and a few First-year friends, discussing combat styles and strategies for the coming matches in a few days.
Tatsuya sighs as Leo and Mikihito stare at him incredulously. “It will be difficult, but I need to shut down Futatsugi Kei. I can’t do that while also facing off against Ichijou Masaki. At the very least, you have to buy me some time.” You pause to think. Futatsugi Kei was another Third High School ace from a Master Clan. It was absolutely criminal for him, the Crimson Prince, and Cardinal George to be on the same Monolith Code team. 
But then again, Ichijou Masaki was also in a weight class of his own. Or so they say. “But why me?”
“It’s actually one of the reasons why I chose you. The Ichijou clan specializes in medium to long range bombardment. That would make it difficult for Leo and Mikihito,” Tatsuya gestured to the two, “to take him on from a distance with their specialities. But you can.”
Before you could even reply, Erika chimes in from the other side of the room. “And you’re a girl!” 
The four of us gaze at her curiously. You ask, “What does that have to do with anything?”
Erika flashes me a wide grin. “You’re a girl, so he’ll hesitate going all-out. Right?” She looks to the boys for confirmation. 
“I don’t know if I should be happy about that…” you say as Leo lights up in realization. “Oh, yeah! Old-fashioned types like Master Clans people will probably underestimate you, ” Leo blushes slightly and pauses, realizing the implications of his words, “uh, which is, you know, really unfair, but maybe you could use that to your advantage?” 
Tatsuya and Mikihito nod in agreement. “Yes. It’s possible for us to construct a strategy around that,” Tatsuya adds.
You press your fingers to your temple in a gesture of defeat. “Okay. I’ll think of something. But I don’t think my defense will hold…”
Tatsuya reaches into his inner coat pocket. “And there’s another reason why I chose you.” His lips curl into a rare smile and hands me a silver gun-shaped CAD. “Come on. I’m going to teach you Gram Demolition.”
“(L/N)-san.” Tatsuya calls. You open your eyes without looking at him. “Are you ready?” He asks in a low voice. He was obviously most concerned about your state, given that you were the unlucky one to throw down with one of the best first-year magicians around. 
You feel for the CADs in your holsters and pull up your glove, your magic talisman, on your left hand. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” You think back to your first Monolith Code match with Eighth this morning. You did well, taking to the battlefield easily and readily, but you haven’t shown the world your new spell that was learned in a few late-night crash courses with Tatsuya. Gram Demolition, a potent close-range Counter Magic spell, wasn’t a complicated technique, you learned. You only had to have a crazy high Psion count to cast it. It just so happens you had a lot more than most. 
You sigh and go over your magic repertoire in your head for the last time. You do your best to ignore your heart beating annoyingly fast in your chest, sharpen your focus, and lock your eyes on that self-assured red-haired magician standing directly across from you on the field. Masaki Ichijou—your rival for the day.
And with a screech of a faraway siren, the match begins. 
Tatsuya sprints, two CAD pistols in his hand, legs pumping quickly underneath him as he aims at Futatsugi. The air shifts as the other two spread out behind you. Masaki, on the other, strides confidently forward and begins to cast a spell aimed at Tatsuya.
Not him, me, you think to yourself in a split-second. You send a barrage of lightning bolts in Masaki’s direction, the intensity of your thought coloring the strength of your magic, and he deflects it just in time. He turns to you and you see a small smile plastered on his…admittedly handsome face. Smug bastard. You take a quick glance to your left and see Tatsuya engage in a shootout with that Futatsugi character.
Your eyes dash back to your opponent. Masaki raises his two pistols and a few Activation Sequences form around you quickly. Air Bullet: a round of compressed air and Masaki’s go-to spell in this competition (You’ve watched a few replays of his matches. Never can be too careful with a guy who’s killed a bunch of Russians when he was 13.) Strong, but easy to dismantle. Show time. You blast them away cleanly one by one with your newly-learned Gram Demolition technique and counter with your powered-up version of Thunder Child. Masaki’s smile fades and his eyes widen as he puts out a defensive spell, averting the paralyzing effect of your offense. At the edge of your vision, you notice the other Third opponents shoot you a shocked glance.
Masaki regains his composure in an instant. The two of you walk towards each other, pistols raised in a magic gunfight. Lightning and Activation Sequences form and disintegrate around the both of you within seconds, drawing you in, encircling the both of you in a beautiful but deadly light show. (It lit up his face the same way it would the first time he took you to see fireworks at the pier in Kanazawa.) You manage to slip in a few lightning bolts in between shots of Gram Demolition, making him sidestep occasionally, but you were basically locked in a stalemate. 
Now or never. You break your solid stance and run towards him, catching him off-guard. For a second, he pauses, and you press the attack, nearly hitting him with a low-voltage lightning bolt. 
The Crimson Prince must’ve felt the heat quite literally. He flinched at the heat and the close sound of air expanding rapidly like miniature thunder, and, with a flick of his wrist, a dozen Activation Sequences suddenly surrounded you, threatening to let loose. Oh my God, this jerk’s trying to kill me. You catch the horrified expression on his face (his move was a violation of the rules, after all) before you blast away one, four, then seven in a moment, going beyond what you thought you could, and then you take out a few more. You feel the hotness from a nearby explosion. You internally scream at your body to catch up and obliterate the remaining Sequences.
And then, when you’d just were a couple of paces from him, just within range of a lightning bolt, one air bullet hits the ground next to you. The world to your left erupts in a hot flash and the ground simply bursts, soil surging up into the air. You let out a yelp of pain and dive away from the blast.
“And that’s the plan. Do you think the illusion will hold?” You focus on your outstretched hand, gathering Psions and then destroying Tatsuya’s attempt at a spell, the glow from the attempt lighting up his figure in the darkened training field not far from the hotel. Your Gram Demolition was still imperfect, but it was getting there: you had proceeded from mildly inconveniencing Activation Sequences last night to outright blowing them away this evening. 
Tatsuya furrows his eyebrows in mild disapproval as he prepares to cast another one. “At your level, it should.” Another Activation Sequence forms before you and you blast it away easily. “Still...a lot of things could go wrong with that. Are you sure, using yourself as bait?”
You shrug. “You would be too busy to help me. And… to be honest, I don’t think I have a chance at fighting him head-on for too long. So I’m doing what you guys suggested. Using a little psychology.” You grin as you take down a couple of Sequences from Tatsuya near-perfectly. “After all, who wouldn’t panic if they thought they hurt a cute girl?”
You just didn’t expect him to try to kill said cute girl, even if it was an accident. You lie face down in the dirt. Your ears were ringing and your head throbbed irritatingly. Thank goodness your helmet had tough glass or you’d be eating mud by now. A thick mist that looks like dust and steam emanates from the palm of your glove-covered hand and envelops the surrounding area, hiding you from view. You raise your head slightly to look around at it. Your smoke version of Magical Mist, a spell that creates a thick fog, looked a bit unnatural, but it should do. A destroyed CAD, an attempt at a defense spell, a weird natural phenomenon: what created the mist shouldn’t matter, because the opponent should be panicking either way. You take another second to lie on the grass, CADs clutched in your hands, hurting all over from the dive, and then you waited.
You knew that Masaki was just at the edge of the smoke, probably freaking out at the prospect that he killed a girl and a foreign exchange student at First High (Later on, you learn he already had been practicing how to apologize to your country’s government for your death. The nervous wreck.) You knew he would be too busy reviewing his previous steps to see if the excessive force he used would be enough to kill you and definitely too busy to notice that his opponent was very much still alive and kicking. You listen for a rustle of grass or a shuffle of armor. 
After a quiet moment of passing wind and the faraway sounds of magic from your teammates’ own battles, you hear it: a step back, the ground crunching underneath a foot. You raise yourself from the ground quickly and throw your CAD in the direction of the sound. It was a good throw: high and far, the gun spinning away from view in a clean trajectory. More importantly, it was a good distraction at a magic-only battle. At almost the same time, you sprint and emerge from the smoke and into the light. 
You swear the world moved in slow motion in that instant. Masaki Ichijou stood there a few feet from you, pistols lowered, his head turned in the direction of the CAD you threw. He feels the air shift when you emerge and he turns to you slowly, his emerald eyes glinting in the light, his mouth gaped open in surprise. He raises an arm instinctively, probably activating his defenses, but you already cast the final blow: Spark. A seemingly simple spell that creates a small electric discharge but is enough to paralyze an opponent.
As you did, you couldn’t help but flash the Crimson Prince a shameless smile from ear to ear. I win, you wanted to say. He looked on—you couldn’t understand the expression on his face—as he fell to his knees, electricity crackling around him. Far away, the crowd erupts in loud cheers. 
Months later, Masaki tells you that that smile was what made him fall desperately in love with you.
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hope the way you beat him wasn’t too far-fetched lmao. thanks for reading! <3
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