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waynewifey · 9 months

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aftermath — b.w

part one - ‘dear mr. wayne’

part two - ‘aftermath’

part three. - ‘aporia’

summary: you escaped that warehouse, but part of you died in there. now, your husband helps you grief your own loss while trying to not murder your relationship.

pairing: bruce wayne/battinson x reader

genre: drama & angst romance

warnings: mentions of sex and alcohol; mentions of ptsd, anxiety and it’s symptoms; hospital setting; dubious science; dubious law enforcement

word count: 2.9k

A/N: thank you for all the positive feedback on part 1! there will be a part three because this post would get too long, so let me know if you’ll like to be tagged in that. my biggest challenge writing this was trying to give bruce the start of a redemption arc, please tell me if you think it worked. comments and constructive criticism is appreciated!

gotham, USA.

the continuous beeping sound wakes you up.

your eyes are still closed, blocking the intense light over your head. your senses are taken by the familiar scent: sandalwood, cinnamon and lemongrass soap. it almost feels like you're home.

but your feet are senseless from the cold and the bedsheets faintly smell like chlorine. there's a pinching ache in your arm and the scenario is complete. oh how you hate hospitals.

"how are you feeling?" back at home, bruce had learned the difference in your breathing as you woke up, which made pretending to sleep hard enough for you to give up. you open your eyes, finding yourself in a luxurious room. if it wasn't for the IV on your left side, it could easily be mistaken for a five star hotel.

bruce sat at a large light green armchair, about four feet from your left hand. you couldn't tell by his voice, but he looked exhausted. for once, he's wearing sweatpants. the puffy face and swollen eyes show he hasn't had much sleep. you, on the other hand, feel like you've slept for a thousand years.

"i have no idea. what's up with me?" his sigh has your heart racing and the fear of being a liability falls over you. a comforting hand lays on yours, his warms fingers grounding you to remember the last time you were awake. it felt like a nightmare and you desperately hoped it was. instead, the pain comes in flashes, the image of your husband being shot and the feeling of hitting ice cold water do too. it's all just so horrible you wish it wasn't real.

"they told me you were going to be fine, but i don't know." bruce feels as if a burden has come off his chest finally seeing you move. the last couple of days have been a torture of expectation and blame for him. "the doctor had you in an induced coma. you had a concussion on the river. your stomach was stitched up. he said..." he stops for a moment, this is obviously way too hard for him to go through again. bruce hasn't left the room ever since he was discharged. everyday, for two weeks, he kept overthinking the night before and the day during. if he had stayed up and talked about your relationship, you wouldn't be in that bed. if he looked for you in the morning, if he noticed your absence at work, if he hadn't put his phone on silent mode... there were a million of things that he could've done different so the most important person in his world wouldn't have gone through all of that. "he said the ptsd would worsen your recovery. this morning the nurses told me you were better, so i have to believe them. that's my only hope."

you need a moment to take in the words, finally deciding that you didn't want to discuss your health. there were way better people to pay attention to that in the building and it would only make you anxious. you can't help but stare at his eyes, your mind bringing up the image of your husband choking the man that kept you hostage.

"you almost killed him." the tone is of disapproval, bruce couldn't be any more confused. he frowns. bile arises from his stomach leaving a acid taste to his mouth.

"i would've, of course i would. y/n, you had no idea what i would do for you. i would fight the devil himself if it meant keeping you safe. that's why i do what i do. the batman, the politics, it's all for you. if i can make this world 1% better for you, for our children, to live on, it's worth it." his gulp is loud, adam's apple going up and down, showing how dry his throat was. the following words have his voice shaking, almost disappearing. "but fate keeps telling me that i'm not enough. no matter what i do, you keep getting hurt and i just-" bruce stares the floor. that's something he always did when saying harsh things, avoiding eye contact and not letting tears slip away. however, this time it doesn't work at all. he can hear his heart tearing up with every syllable, the physical pain striking his chest. he wants to beg you to forgive him, but there is a noble thing to do. his words are cut off by the creaking of the door and the doctor's footsteps. he's smiling, like this isn't hell. bruce shrinks into the couch, making himself ignorable.

"so... i have good news!" the blonde says, clipboard in hand. "we need to run some other tests and an x-ray, but you seem to be healing pretty well. we'll hold you in for a couple of days just to make sure there aren't any complications with your body and then you can go home. how are you feeling so far?"

you're surprised by the sudden change in the conversation and your brain needs a moment to think about something helpful. you do a body scan trying to identify any pain, but overall you feel good.

"hungry. like, starving." the doctor smiles, saying he'll get you a meal as soon as possible. he warns you that you may not be able to eat much just yet, something about your stomach shrinking. you nod, already feeling irritated by the recovery process. then he leaves and there's a loud silence until you get back on the previous topic.

"you just what?" you expect bruce to sit correctly again, but he doesn't. he looks so small in the shadows, so comfortable. you really don't want to talk about that anymore, but curiosity takes over. he doesn't respond immediately, so your heart pounds over the anxiety of hearing bad news. suddenly you feel so tired, you want him to take over all the decisions like he usually does. today, though, he seems open to suggestions, like his own ideas weren't suitable. how could you know someone so well but still have no idea what's on his mind?

"i think maybe you shouldn't be associated with me. any part of me." the world stops with your breathing. bruce wishes he could take it back. going over this conversation in his head made it seem easier to say out loud. you've been married for three years. you knew his ambitions for even longer. you chose this life and he has no right to take that from you. still, the ring on your finger weighs you down.

— DENIAL

you've learned to appreciate the winter winds. at the top of the wayne tower there were barely any, but tonight they caress your face with the gift of numbness. breathing in is both refreshing and painful. the scratched teacup warms your fingers, a small memoir from your childhood home, from times that won't ever come back. you used to be down there, frightened by dark alleys and gunshots. now you're on top of the world and nothing, not even that psychopath, can take that from you. you did relearn discomfort. ache. cold. it all made you appreciate life even more. in fact, the month that followed your hospital discharge was pure bliss. something about renewal, about rebirth.

bruce watched you from the living room, the wrinkled glass distorting your silhouette in the balcony. that was a good representation of how he currently saw you, slightly blurred and shaken. his cup would usually hold whiskey, neat, but it holds coffee instead. you keep saying you're fine and waking up screaming in the middle of the night. then he would hold you and you would be actually fine. so now he's staying awake through the night, sleeping three or four hours during the day while alfred takes care of you. of course they don't let you know, because you've denied every explicit help. as you get ready to sleep, bruce gets ready to stay in bed through the night, alone with his thoughts. part of him was scared to sleep. he was sleeping when you were taken, there's no way he would let that happen again.

it has been almost a year since he stopped patrolling the city. the news cover murders and robberies every day. alfred makes sure to come up with something for both bruce and you to do at those hours. he's taken a pause in promoting his candidacy, he couldn't handle the public eye for now. still, the marketing team insists that your kidnapping was good media, even though he never officially spoke on it. they publish notes about being away, about taking care of family. he can't see how that could be good in any way.

you open the glass doors, flashing your husband a sweet smile. you're in a red silk robe and your hair is still perfectly done. perfectionism was one of the side effects, as one may call it, of the trauma. you visited a psychiatrist about a month ago, since bruce insisted on it, and he marked all of the habits that made you happy as unhealthy. you never told bruce what was said in that appointment in hopes that he'll get over it. him treating you like a porcelain doll made you nauseous.

"ready for bed?" you ask, standing behind the couch and hugging his shoulders. you breathe in his scent, remembering the day you met. you were an executive in an overseas wayne enterprises headquarters that had just gotten transferred to gotham. they offered you six figures to take the second in command position, so you obviously got to know the first in command. in the beginning, you honestly thought he was an entitled brat that didn't work at all. overtime, you realised how much he cared about the company and how much he was pining over you. you gave him an opening and he asked you out. six months into the relationship, he told you about batman. he knew, somehow, that you would be forever.

he sets in bed while you're touching up in the bathroom. the night had to be perfect. you've hadn't made love ever since the fight and ovulation week had gotten you a little crazy. you check yourself in the mirror, thanking the hormones making you sexy. you crawl into his side, slower than needed, hair falling over the shoulder. "hi" you whisper, sitting diagonally from him and cuddling a bit. he says hi back, with a chuckle. you give him a little peck, which is all you've been doing for all of this time. he stays still, not pulling back but also not doing anything either. you try to take it as a good sign. your lips then reach his jawline and neck, leaving wet kisses all over his skin. your hands touch his shirt and go underneath it, tracing your fingers along his defined abdomen. a hand holds your arm, pushing you away. your smile fades and you frown your face to him.

"touch me, bruce" you not so much ask, it's more like a plead. he sighs, channelling all his will to stick with his decision. he puts a string of your hair behind your ear and you think he's going to properly kiss you.

"i don't think we should do this. you're not well enough yet." he doesn't sound so certain, but it hits you like a hard brick wall. this is harder for him than he lets it show, he's a man after all. even so, he can't see you like that for the moment. he sees you scattered and feels like it's his responsibility to assemble you again.

"i'm perfectly fine." you state like a grumpy proud child who's just lost a soccer tournament. he sees right through it.

"you're not, you're in denial." that simple word makes your mood swing: denial. it's the same thing the stupid psychiatrist told you. you can even hear his smoker's voice echoing in the office. it isn't true. you got over it, that's all. maybe some people take more time to do so, but you did just like that. you had a life to get back to.

you get off the bed and pull your robe tight again. "i'm sleeping in the guest room. good night." he doesn't follow and lets you be. in all honesty, he didn't know if he would have the strength to turn you down a second time.

bruce tries to fight the tiredness. even with caffeine running high in his blood system, he falls asleep for a while. the guest room is far enough that he doesn't hear the muffled sobbing. he wakes up not so long after with screaming. his heart races as he runs down the stairs, following the sound of your voice. his mind starts thinking the worst, but he finds you only having nightmares. he crawls in bed with you, without being kicked off. he lets you lay on his chest, one arm over your shoulder. his body warms yours up and you finally stop spasming. it doesn't take too long for both to fall asleep.

— ANGER

the penthouse is quiet. the winter is almost at it's end, so the pre-spring rays lighten the living room bringing warmness to your solitude. you sit uncomfortably, unknown to this feeling of absence. you don't feel him in the tower.

bruce said there was a non deniable meeting with his press team, because eventually he would have to go back to promoting his election, which would take place in the fall. you acted unbothered. yet, he's barely been gone for an hour and you can already feel the anxiety crippling. you only left the apartment for doctors appointment, still too scared to walk on the streets. and he was always there, too, holding your hand. so this is different.

alfred is downstairs upgrading the batman suit with a new technology he created. he invited you, but the darkness of the cave was definitely unrequited. that's how you end up lounging, in silence, staring at window. finally, you decide to try to watch something. you shouldn't really do that, because something could trigger a panic attack. but you're fine, you really are. enough with this nonsense.

shuffling through the channels, nothing gets your attention until there's a juridical show on. the judge is talking to the prosecutor, apparently, announcing the next witness to testify. the camera angle changes to the courtroom and expectant eyes turn to the wooden door. it opens slowly to reveal a knight in dark armour. you hold your breath. the jury buzzes and the room gets loud. heavy steps make his cape swing behind him, as he makes his way to the stand.

bruce had to make a tough decision. while you and him had been cleared from the trial, you with the psychiatrist report on PTSD and him with the marriage, the lawyers mentioned that the batman's testimony could be decisive for the accused to be found guilty by the jury. the public respected him. either they loved or feared him. so, even though he's never made such a public appearance, less even speaking, he had to go to that trial. he owed it to you. but you could never know. he didn't want to spark your interest in the case, you shouldn't have to go through it again. he lays his hand on the constitution and swears on it.

it doesn't feel real until you hear the judge.

"members of the jury, i present to you the batman."

it feels like a dagger has gone through your chest. there's a mix of feelings that have you almost throwing up. you feel like screaming and crying and blowing the fucking world up. how could he do that to you? that was your case, your life. you stand up only to find your legs trembling. you want to run there and testify. you want to tell the world the horrors you've been through and show them, including your husband, that you had overcome it. he was calling you weak right in you face and you couldn't bear the feeling of being chained up again. you're stuck in this hell of a tower like some futile damsel.

you stomp your way to the elevator, your mind set on leaving the building. but your heart stops you in your tracks pounding and almost vomiting itself out; you feel your toes numb and your legs can't stop shaking. the baritone voice still sounds in the apartment. you run to it and scream at the TV. you throw a pillow on it. that doesn't cool you down. your body is in motion while all you can see is red. you knock the coffee table down, shattering the glass and scattering like ashes the books that were on it on the floor. the noise still doesn't muffle his voice and you can't find the fucking remote control. you stumble across the room, throwing lamps and vases around. everything is falling down, in every sense. you grab a candle and let out a scream when you hit the TV with it, the screen going black and the noise finally ceasing.

alfred finds the room trashed, with you kneeling on the broken glass. there's blood on the floor. your body trembles with every sob. he cautiously steps towards you. you feel out of breath, tears burning your eyes. he holds you like a mother does.

"i'm sorry- i'm so sorry," he shakes his head, saying it doesn't matter. you wanna say it does, but there's simply nothing leaving your mouth apart from "i'm so sorry"

part three - aporia

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ineffable-endearments · 6 months

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Crowley and His Plants in Season 2

I've got this complicated post about Aziraphale and the bookshop brewing, but I want to give Crowley and his plants their own post.

It's really important that Crowley hung onto his plants for juicy characterization and symbolic and thematic reasons. It's a major character development portrayed with relative subtlety, an excellent example of Showing, Not Telling, and I think it's a thrilling sign for Crowley's character development.

Before having a chance to think about it, I thought keeping the plants in his car was a funny and odd - but sweet - detail to include. In fact, it was so sweet that it was one of those "felt like fanfic" things!

In Season 1, and in the novel, the plants were very much there for trauma reenactment, for Crowley to vent his hurt and fear and anger and betrayal onto. In a sense, they seemed to be Crowley's way of roleplaying with himself, if we assume they were only sentient because Crowley thought of them that way. Through the dynamic of yelling at his plants, which he assumed could understand him, Crowley could emotionally act out both the terrified, powerless plant (subconsciously) and the big scary entity threatening it with destruction (consciously).

If we take everything at face value, we can also guess that Crowley disposed of plants that he no longer liked because of their imperfections, which would seem to imply he didn't have much of an attachment to them. Where they went doesn't matter that much to this particular line of theorizing. He could have given them to his elderly neighbor, he could have plunked them in a community garden, he could have left them on a doorstep, he could have shredded them in the garbage disposal. In any case, they were gone from his kingdom.

And after Season 1, I wondered if he would care to keep the plants if he wasn't using them to act out trauma anymore.

But in Season 2, the plants are in fact the ONLY thing from the flat that Crowley has hung onto as he moved into his car. Sure, it's possible that he has other possessions squirreled away somewhere and he just carries the plants around because they need sunlight, but most of the other possessions go unmentioned, so we have to guess that the plants are specifically important. They're also important enough to follow him into the bookshop and back to the car instead of just staying in the car for the trip to Edinburgh.

We also don't see a single instance of Crowley berating the plants in Season 2, but they do still express his emotions somewhat (shaking when he's afraid). He still has whatever subconscious connection to them he was experiencing before. Notably, there's at least one scene where a brown spot is visible on a plant, so whatever Crowley's doing, he's not getting rid of the plants like he used to.

This seems like an obvious example of Crowley's attachment to Earth condensed into a handy symbol. Crowley has started to admit to himself that he cares about these helpless living things, that he just likes them for their own sake. They're not a sign of a job well done for Hell. They're not a memory of Aziraphale. They're not a tool to make life easier or numb the pain. They're just Life On Earth and Crowley likes to have them.

Crowley has gone from using his plants as a tool for trauma reenactment to holding onto his plants because he has a genuine attachment to them. And, for a character whose arc I believe is going to involve forming more outward connections to others, that's a big deal.

Crowley's still got a ways to go. He's carrying these plants around, but the Bentley can't be an ideal environment for them. The whole process of driving them around, not to mention bringing them in and out of the bookshop, has to be kind of awkward for Crowley, too. It's very reminiscent of a character whose attachment to Earth is ambivalent, but who is moving in the right direction.

I wonder what'll happen next. His progress could be relatively linear, wherein he just goes off and forms more connections to humans on Earth after Aziraphale goes back to Heaven.

My suspicion, though, is that he will return to Hell with the specific goal in mind of thwarting the Second Coming and possibly trying to bring the entire system crashing down. In this way, Crowley experiences a massive setback in his position (he wants to be on Earth, not in Hell!) but is actually demonstrating a redoubled dedication to Earth and humans, so what he's doing is not backsliding. Compare it to Season 1, when Crowley is charged with delivering the Antichrist and complains, as late as the Antichrist's 11th birthday, that he didn't want to be involved, that Hell shouldn't have chosen him - when Hell choosing Crowley was the only reason he was ever in a position to try to thwart Armageddon.

But that's a lot of speculation. The point is, the plants are a meaningful connection to Earth and Crowley is taking care of them.

#good omens #anthony j crowley #good omens spoilers #go s2 spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #Yeah the gif is Crowley baby talking the Bentley #But they are holding the plants #And I wanted a happy picture with Crowley and the plants instead of a scared or sad one #And I also can't help but think maybe his more open affection toward the car is relevant too

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chuplayswithfire · 7 months

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Izzy Arc Thoughts, the post!

Having now watched the three episodes three times over (some of them more than that shhhhh), I still have a BUNCH of thoughts about the rest of the crew I want to percolate on, but I had some thoughts on Izzy that I finally feel confident in, as to what's going on in with his character since the end of season 1, and especially the arc he has between Impossible Birds and The Innkeeper.

Being upfront: I wasn't sure what kind of arc the show would do with Izzy and we still obviously don't know the full scope of it, as we have five more episodes to go, but it's definitely been intriguing in a way I didn't anticipate. I figured Izzy would continue on with his antagonistic role, and he still might, but it seems like D Jenks is having fun letting Con have a role with more emotional nuance than in season one, and seeing as that role has an impact on everyone else, I wanted to share my thoughts on what I think is going on with him in the episodes that we've seen so far. I also wanted to start my in depth analysis with a character I don't care about nearly as much (being honest!) as I do the rest of the crew, but who also has a huge impact on two characters I do care very much about, Ed and Stede. I'm planning to analyze Ed and Stede in each episode before we get eps 4 and 5!

This is a long post! It features many quotes directly , transcribed by me and taken from the captions by Max. I used a read more because the whole thing is over 6k in length and analyzes the dynamic presented between Izzy and Ed and Izzy and Stede presented in episodes 1-3 of season 2 of Our Flag Means Death. If the read more doesn't work, that is not on me, sorry.

Alright, so recap: when we left Izzy, he had lashed out at Ed for the person he was choosing to become and the manner in which he was expressing himself and his feelings - the blanket fort, the binging sweets, the singing for the crew, the sharing his feelings and asking to be called Edward, the encouraging a talent show, and then, the cleaning up and comfortably wearing a colorful printed robe of nice, soft fabric. (Quotes: "I should have let the English kill you. This, whatever it is that you've become... is a fate worse than death." "(growled) No. This, this is Blackbeard. Not some (breath) namby-pamby in a silk gown, pining for his boyfriend.”) When these insults get the aggressive reaction from Ed that Izzy associates with the version of Ed he prefers, he encourages him with a smile, hand cupping Ed's cheek, and choking out "There he is." Ed shoves his hand away, backing away with a closed off expression, and Izzy's smile dies and he closes the distance between them. He states what he wants from Ed, makes a threat, and walks away without waiting for a response. (Quote: "Blackbeard is my captain. I serve Blackbeard. Not Edward. Edward better watch his fuckin' step.”)

The next time we see Izzy, Ed has donned his leathers, made his face up with dark make up to look more fierce, and is cutting off Izzy's pink toe and feeding it to him. We know from episode 9 that cutting off toes and feeding it to people was a classic Blackbeard move. For Izzy, this is several things: 1) confirmation that Blackbeard is back, the one who would never let a threat stand and does a good maim 2) a punishment for said threat (Quote: "Threaten me again, ever... I'll feed you the rest. Understand?" "Y-Yes, Blackbeard.") 3) a confirmation that he has his boss back, that whatever Stede has done to his boss' brain is over.

We get confirmation of that third point when Izzy speaks with the crew as they're getting rid of Stede's books and possessions - "Blackbeard is himself again," with a broad smile. Later, we see Izzy abandon the crew on a small island, presumably on Ed's direct orders, as he waves goodbye to Bonnet's playthings - them - as they depart. Izzy has a gun as he stands beside Ed, and they're watching as Frenchie finishes the new flag and hoists it.

That's where we left Izzy in Season 1: standing besides Ed as Blackbird returns to being Blackbeard for a brand new era of being Blackbeard, greatest pirate who ever lived, terror of the seas.

And when we return to the show, that's kind of what we get. Edward is being Blackbeard and Blackbeard is the terror of the seas, a Wanted Poster with so many crimes they're covering both sides of the poster (and yeah some of them are very silly, what midwifery was Ed up to, exactly-), and yet, Izzy is not happy when we see him.

What I think the show works to establish in episode 1 is that what Izzy wanted back was the man he saw as the old Blackbeard, who wasn't afflicted by these feelings of love or softness or "weakness", which he views as something that Stede Bonnet inflicted upon Edward. We know that, because it's how he phrased it to Chauncey - that "[Stede] had done something to [his] boss's brain". He seemed to view these feelings as something akin to an infection from Stede, that was corrupting the Blackbeard he knew and respected to something less than. Izzy wanted the old Blackbeard back and he thought that when Ed took his toe and fed it to him, said he'd killed Lucius, all that I recapped, that he'd gotten just that. A return to his preferred normal, where everything makes sense exactly as he thinks it should. Ed back to normal, it's Blackbeard time, getting rid of the dead weight and all that.

Except that's not what he's gotten at all, and I don't think Izzy had fully grasped why prior to episode 1. He has suspicions, of course, but it takes him a while to build to a confrontation about it.

Because see, Ed switched from healthier coping mechanisms like crying, eating sweets, creative outlets, and talking to people about his feelings to much more acceptably pirate means of coping with his feelings - violence in the form of raids and drugs (rhino horn, which thought people joke about it being an aphrodisiac, has a variety of believed medical uses in Vietnamese medicine, treating ailments including hangovers, fever, gout and potentially terminal illnesses, like cancer or stroke). Raids and drug use should be totally acceptable means of managing your feelings as a pirate, except that Ed is going too far with them, pushing the crew to the breaking point and beyond. They're raiding every day, they're not taking breaks, they're not having days off, they're chasing down ships as fast as they can take them down and now they're going to be throwing away loot. Izzy is realizing that actually he has not gotten the Blackbeard he wanted and things are not great. He's also lost at least two more toes.

He and Ed have an early exchange - Izzy looking sickly, skin sallow, what appears to be hair dye or make up trickling from his hairline, Ed prepping and snorting rhino horn like it's cocaine:

Izzy: "The crew are lookin' a tad worse for wear.” Ed: "Did everyone get cake?" Izzy: "Yeah, they got cake." Ed: "Well they're, they're welcome to have some rhino horn. Just ground up a fresh batch." (snorts rhino horn) "Oh fuck! You want some?" Izzy: "No, not right now, no." Ed: "Well then, get back to work ya fuckin' lightweight!" [cut to Izzy among the crew] Ed voiceover: "Can't do the job, someone else will."

Throughout this scene, Izzy looks increasingly distressed as Ed does drugs - he looks his most distressed during the voice over however, his jaw flexing, his eyes watery.

This is what appears to have shaken him the most - the idea that he's replaceable, that Ed can and would get rid of him in favor of someone else. It's obviously incredibly distressing to Izzy, in a way that I genuinely don't think the loss of his toes was. Izzy clearly values his relationship with Edward - while in season 1 he definitely wanted a promotion and liked the idea of authority, of being captain, the fact that he was swiftly mutinied and nearly murdered seemed to put a kabosh on his ambitions, and reoriented him to staying at Ed's side. We know that Izzy at least believes that loyalty is important - we know that he thinks he's acting from loyalty when he tries to make Ed watch as his boyfriend (in Izzy's words) is murdered.

Izzy values his position with Blackbeard. He serves Blackbeard, respects him, was honored to work for a legend. And while this is supposition, he seems to have considered himself and Edward as having a close, intimate relationship that did not require words or confessions or honest expression of feeling, this kind of bond where words aren't necessary, because they're tough, manly men who don't need to express their feelings.

But.

Then we get this line. Then we get, "can't do the job, someone else will." Seven words, and they shake Izzy to his core, make him finally start questioning his until then unquestioned belief in the ways of the world and his relationship with Edward. It shakes him enough that he actually breaks in front of the crew, in a scene that's incredibly funny, but also leads to them extending him some genuinely unearned compassion, as they question the healthiness of his relationship with Blackbeard - even as Izzy is finally questioning if he has a relationship with Blackbeard.

Following his breakdown, Izzy has the crew bring the treasure above deck, but doesn't go through with making them throw it overboard. Instead, he takes those new doubts and brings them to Ed, pushing for a conversation where he is clearly for the first time in their working relationship expressing his thoughts on said relationship in word form.

Izzy: "The crew are refusing to part with any treasure." Ed: "Why?" Izzy: "Because it's fuckin' treasure." Ed: "Not good enough. (stops toying with knife, slides it in Izzy's direction.) And that's another toe. Take your boot off." (stands from seated position, walks over to Izzy.) Izzy: (starts by looking down at the ground, then slowly raises gaze to Ed's face as he speaks.) "Who am I to you?" Ed: “...What?” Izzy: “We’ve worked together for years. (sniff) You know me better than anyone has ever known me, and I daresay the same is true for me about you.” (a musical beat plays. Izzy lowers his eyes from Ed’s face, looking in the middle distance.) Izzy: I have (several second long pause) love for you, Edward.” Ed: (starting as Izzy is speaking, right after the word love) “Oh, come on.” (walks away from Izzy, circling around him.) Izzy: I’m worried about you. We all are. The atmosphere on this ship is completely poisoned.” (pause) “But if we could all just maybe (pause, swallow, visibly struggling with words) talk it through.” (musical beat) Ed: (slowly looks up) “As a crew?” Izzy: (face falls subtly, taking on a starker look of upset)

The scene transitions away, but let’s really dig into all of this for a second, because this is crucial. This is Izzy going from matters between us are unspoken but profound to I have doubts and I am verbalizing my thoughts in the hope that they will be assuaged. Izzy is expressing aloud his thoughts on their relationship for the first time, because as Izzy puts it, he thought he knew Edward better than anyone. He thought he understood him better than anyone else alive. Now, we know that Izzy doesn’t understand Edward already - we’ve known that he doesn’t actually see the person Edward all along, but this was made especially clear in episode 6, where his voiceover notes that he is “starting to suspect that Edward has no intention of ending Stede Bonnet’s life”, at a point in time when Ivan and Fang are confident the plan is off and everyone else seems pretty clear there’s a co-captaining effect going on.

The point is that all this time, Izzy has been acting from a place of assuming he knows Edward best of anyone in the world, that he understands him, that he can follow what’s going on with him and that they are intimately bound together, in this deep and unspoken love for each other that doesn’t have to be said allowed, but only has to exist, unacknowledged but deeply felt.

But then Ed said that he could be replaced. Then Ed said that he could find someone else to do Izzy’s job.

And this introduced doubt into Izzy’s mind, for the first time. This is what made Izzy verbalize all these things - what made him ask who he is to Ed, what made him state that he has love for Ed, that he worries for Ed, that he and Ed understand each other better than anyone else… because now he has to say them aloud, because he has to be reassured that these things are true.

That he is someone important to Ed. That Ed has love for Izzy and knows that Izzy has love for Ed. That Ed understands Izzy, that Ed knows that Izzy understands Ed. For years, he has thought that he and Ed understood each other in this profound way, that they alone truly knew the other, and he has to question if that’s true.

He’s being vulnerable, in a way vaguely akin to the vulnerability Ed offered in episode 10, and it clearly doesn’t land. He wants reassurance that this deep and profound love and intimacy he was so sure was there, is real, and Ed can’t give him that reassurance because it’s not true. Not in the way Izzy was so sure it was. Not in the way he ruined Ed’s life to believe.

Izzy finally decides to put himself out there, and all that Ed gets out of it is the echo of Stede Bonnet, and it makes Izzy’s face fall like a rock. There’s the answer he didn’t want: the relationship he believed he had with Ed is not there, and Ed is still, utterly, truly, fixed in his feelings for Stede Bonnet.

(and like just to clarify, I really don’t feel bad for Izzy here - he doesn’t have the relationship he wants with Ed because he’s never tried to really understand Ed, or listen to him, and he isn’t what Ed wants in a partner, but, objectively, Izzy does make himself vulnerable here, and he’s shot down, because Ed just doesn’t return his feelings)

Which leads us into the continuing scene. Ed goes to confront the crew about the atmosphere of the ship being poisoned, which everyone denies at gun point, leading Ed to shoving the gun under his chin and having a little conversation with himself, unsettling everyone around.

Ed: “I know who we should ask, ol’ Blackbeard. Hello mate. You think the vibe on the ship is poisoned? I don’t know, Blackbeard. Maybe a little toxic sometimes. Maybe it’s a bit uncomfortable sometimes. You do make the crew a little bit uncomfortable sometimes. They think you’re crazy. Well, I’m not crazy. I don’t feel crazy. I feel pretty fucking good actually.” (the camera is focusing on the faces of all the crew as he gives this monologue, gun still cocked under his chin.) Izzy: “Fucking End!” (Screamed at Ed’s back) Ed: (slowly turns to Izzy.) Crew: (Fang looking shocked and saddened. Frenchie shakes his head very minutely, looking at Izzy.) Izzy: “The atmosphere on this ship is (word drawn out) fucked.” (working his jaw, looking down and to the side as he says this.) “Everyone knows why.” Ed: (nods once, sets his chin, walks forward.) “Well I don’t. Enlighten me.” Izzy: (smiling with mouth shut, suppressing a laugh. Shrugs.) Your feelings for Stede fuckin’ Bonnet.” Ed: (Nods as soon as Izzy says Stede’s name. Shoots him in the leg.) Izzy: (cries out in pain drops, clutching his knee.) Ed: “Frenchie.” Frenchie: “Yes?” Ed: “Congratulations, you are now first mate.” Frenchie: “Oh, no. I don’t, I don’t think I’m qualified.” Ed: “‘course you are mate. You can start by cleaning up that mess.” (tilts head towards Izzy. Turns to rest of crew, onlooking.) “And the rest of you, you throw this shit overboard and get suited up.” (claps twice, turns away.) “We’ve got a record to break.” Izzy: (still groaning in pain.)

So that was a lot.

Izzy has realized, over the course of this episode, that his relationship with Ed is not what he thought it was, is not what he wants it to be, and that Ed is still and probably always will be, in love with Stede fuckin’ Bonnet. This is why Izzy decides to say what he believes to be true - that the atmosphere is fucked because of Ed’s feelings for Stede. It’s important that we know this is not actually true - while Ed being ghosted by Stede did start his spiral, Ed was able to stop that spiral with the help of community and reaching for healthy coping mechanisms. Ed spiraled again after Izzy intervened, insulting, threatening, and demeaning him as discussed in the recap, and the spiral isn’t about his romantic feelings - it’s about, as s2e3 The Innkeeper firmly establishes, his feeling fundamentally unloveable and monstrous. Throughout s2e1, Ed is clearly denying the crew days off and meaningful rest out of pursuit of as many raids as possible. He’s trying not to touch the ground, flying high both via drugs and adrenaline, and his exchange with Frenchie at the end of the impossible makes it clear he doesn’t want to stop.

It’s also very important, that throughout this entire thing, the only crew member Ed actually hurts is Izzy, who doesn’t actually object to losing his toes. Now, I’m on record for being one of the many people who think Izzy is actually glad that the toe scene happens - I don’t think he actually especially wanted to lose his toes, but, he was glad to get back the Blackbeard who would cut off toes, and I do think he felt there was a certain intimacy in being the only one experiencing violence. Izzy is a masochist and has previously expressed delight in being the subject of violence - was very happy to be choked by Ed in s1ep10 - so while this is not safe or sane, I do think it’s consensual, in the sense that Izzy thinks this is part of their mutual love, their unspoken but deep and crucially intimate togetherness that leads them to know each other on the deepest level.

And then Ed says he can be replaced. And then Ed makes it clear that even when Izzy is emotionally vulnerable, Ed’s heart is with Stede. And Izzy realizes, he doesn’t have that place with Edward that he thought he did. He doesn’t have that special relationship. This is not intimacy, for Ed. And Ed shooting him and turning away isn’t even the final nail in that door.

Because, in s2e2, Izzy is still alive. The crew has hidden him in the walls and are trying to preserve his life, even as Izzy screams for them to kill him and calls them cowards for not doing so. The crew is gathering medicine, preparing an amputation, figuring out what to do with Izzy to try and keep him alive, and Izzy wants them to kill him. (Quote: “Kill me you fucking cowards! Kill me -”)

I would say it’s because he’s realized the relationship he devoted his life too and considered sacred, the relationship he considers most valuable… is not that to the man he loves. Ed replaced him and pirate code says the first mate should kill him. The first mate (Frenchie) refuses to kill him. Frenchie is not much for that, and neither is JIm. Both of them, having experienced a better life and place of work when Stede was captain and Ed was their co-captain, are trying to preserve Izzy’s life the best they can. Jim especially clings to the memory of when life meant something on this ship, even Izzy’s life.

Which - this makes sense coming from Jim, and I think it’s why they chose Jim, because Jim wasn’t present for Izzy being captain or the mutiny. Jim has the least complicated relationship with Izzy aside from Fang, who is notably not present in any of the scenes to do with rescuing Izzy, despite having been clearly shocked and appalled that Izzy was shot.

Izzy, is not thrilled to be being kept alive, but the fact that Izzy is kept alive, means that Izzy has to process his feelings - and face Ed again, who, having shot Izzy, mourned and sobbed, has woken up, cleaned himself up, cleaned his space out, and decided to seek death.

From Izzy.

This, I think, is the second most crucial moment in Izzy’s arc and transition, because Izzy thought he was someone of incredible importance to Ed, and he also thought that he knew and understood Ed better than anyone, and that Ed crucially, understood him just as well. He thought that even without any emotional honesty or vulnerability, they knew each other more than anyone else possibly could.

He thinks that Ed knows him.

And Ed comes to him, and they have the following exchange:

Ed: “Morning.” Izzy: “My leg?” (looking down his body.) Ed: (laughing) “Yeah. Oh, no, that’s gone now. Up in Leg Heaven.” (sets the smelling salts down, turns to look down at Izzy.) Izzy: (looks up at Ed.) “Have you come to take the other one?” Ed: “I think one’s quite enough. I just popped down to say a proper goodbye.” (reaches behind him, draws gun. Izzy: (watches the gun, looks down from Ed’s face to gun and back as Ed cocks and loads it.) Ed: (looking at the gun, not Izzy.) “Had a dream about you last night.” (flips gun to offer the handle to Izzy.) “Take it.” Izzy: “Oh, fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off.” (slaps at Ed’s hand, looking away from Ed.) Ed: “Hold it! Hold it.” (they are speaking over each other. Gets the gun in Izzy’s hand, directs it at Ed’s head. Looking at Izzy.) “I dreamt that ya killed me. Shot me right through the skull.” (moving the gun and Izzy’s hand, drawing it to his forehead, leaning closer. The camera moves between Ed’s face and Izzy’s.) Izzy: (smiles slowly then sneers.) “Good for you.” Ed: (blinks and nods slowly.) “It was good for me. It’s just what the doctor ordered.” (The camera moves from Ed’s face to Izzy’s showing him with that frown as Ed stands over him, leaving the gun in Izzy’s hand.) “Anyway, it wasn’t even like that.” (walks away from Izzy.) Izzy: (eyes tracking Ed as he walks away.) Ed: “Not in my dream.” (moves to stand at the foot of Izzy’s bed, back to Izzy.) “I was standing.” (inhales). “Just like this.” (Closes eyes. Spreads arms.) Izzy: (from his view, Ed is standing against the light, back open, arms spread. He blinks and raises the gun audibly.) Ed: (Swallows, holding his arms out.) Izzy: (smiles, sniffs audibly, dropping the smile as he clenches his teeth. Laughs harshly, mockingly, gun raised.) “Ohhhhh, ah, you scared, Eddie? Too scared - too scared to do it yourself? Ay.” (laughs) “Go on, clean up your own fucking mess. I’m not doin’ it. I’ve been doin’ it all my fucking life.” Ed: (looks down, disappointed. blinks.) Izzy: Fuck off. Ed: (nods, swallows.) “Farewell, old chum.” (whispered. He walks up the stairs and away from Izzy.) Izzy: (watches, shaking, nodding slowly himself, breath hitching.) Ed: (reaches the top of the stairs. A gunshot sounds. A creak. Ed lowers his eyes, looking down at something off camera. Nods. Exhales.) “I loved you” (a pause) “best I could.” The scene transitions from there, and the next we see of Ed, he is initiating plan two of suicide attempts: steering the ship into a storm and goading the ship to kill him or die with him.

But Ed’s deal is so many more posts from here. No, we’re focused on Izzy for the moment, so what did this whole exchange mean for him?

First, the thought that Ed had come to do more damage. That Ed was there for Izzy, that this was about Izzy. But it’s not. Ed has had enough of that. He notably does not apologize. Izzy notably does not seem to expect one. There is history here, and the last time they were in positions like this, the camera angle was flipped - Ed at Izzy’s right, a hand covering Izzy’s mouth, making him eat his toe and the idea that things could go as they had been, that the Blackbeard Izzy had schemed and tried to have a man killed over was back. This time, Ed is at Izzy’s left, with a gun, and he doesn’t touch Izzy except to hand over the gun.

This is where it’s so important that Izzy believed he and Ed knew each other best of all. Because in episode one, Izzy was getting worried for Ed, but it’s in episode 2, in this moment, as Ed hands him a gun, that he realizes Ed wants to die. And it’s in this moment that he realizes that Ed fully believes Izzy could. That Ed has taken these actions believing that they would lead Izzy to kill him. That Ed wants to commit suicide via Izzy, that he thinks killing Ed is something that Izzy wants, could want, could do.

This is Izzy, realizing that he and Ed don’t understand each other nearly as well as he thought. This is Izzy, realizing that Ed looks at him and sees a man who could and would kill him, when Izzy thinks that he couldn’t ever do that. This is Izzy, having the true final death knell on that relationship he believed they had, the intimacy he believed they had, the lack of a need for words. He thought all this time that he knew Ed best and that Ed knew him, and he doesn’t want to kill Ed - and he’s also hurt and angry and upset to know Ed genuinely thought he would. That Ed would come to him for this, because Izzy doesn’t think he could kill Ed, but Ed thinks he could.

In his mind, Ed should know that Izzy could never kill him, should trust him, should know without having to be told that it would never happen, but here’s Ed in the flesh, asking him to kill him.

It’s over, everything he thought was there.

And Ed? Ed did care about Izzy, in his own way, but every overture he made was denied, shot down, Izzy not interested in the bird guy, the ship, the clouds and how they contribute to a plan, the drugs, and like, Izzy is allowed to not be interested in any of those things - but these are the things Ed was interested in. These are the ways Ed tried to connect most recently, and Izzy shot them all down. To Izzy, there was a deep and intimate connection in spite of all of that. To Ed, every way he could connect with Izzy was shot down. He loved him the best he could, which wasn’t a way that could provide either of them what they wanted. Izzy had love for Ed, but that love could not be fruitful or nurturing to either of them, because it was unspoken and therefore ripe for misunderstanding.

Izzy stews down there in the ship, in his own thoughts, while Ed steers the ship into a storm and makes his last effort to die, to have it all end - to push the crew to killing him, or dying with him. And then he ties his leg up, makes his way above deck, shoots Ed in the arm to keep him from killing them all, and tries to kill himself instead, staring at Ed as he tries to shoot himself with the gun Ed wanted Izzy to kill him with. Despite the gun being aimed for the temple, he fails and falls back, leaving himself staring up as it rains on him, hiding any tears. Fang brings Ed down, and the crew gather together, Fang supporting Izzy’s weight, as Jim lifts a cannonball with a scream and prepares to bring it down on Ed’s head. Izzy watches without interfering.

EDIT: ADDED THIS SECTION:

A quick addendum: even though I watched episode 2 so many times, I didn't realize that Izzy tried to kill himself after Ed left the room! The gunshot that Ed hears is in fact Izzy trying and failing to shoot himself right then and there, in that moment that Ed departs. Izzy's forehead was so wet and the background of him falling back and water splashing was such that I truly thought that took place in the rain, and that he tried to shoot himself after shooting Ed. Thanks to @glamaphonic for letting me know. This does leave me even more certain that Izzy is motivated to do this because he has finally understood both that Edward wants to die, and that he and Edward never understood each other as well as he thought, which brings the last years of his life into question. He tried to kill himself, failed, and came up to stop Ed from bringing down the ship. It's not just that Izzy stews down there - as Ed departs, leaving Izzy behind, Izzy takes the shot. He tries and fails to kill himself, and wakes and climbs the steps to take the shot at Ed he couldn't before.

The next time we see Izzy is s1e3, The Innkeeper, when Stede crosses over to the Revenge and finds the crew amidst the wreckage. He’s eating a raw bird with the rest of the crew, and then is brought aboard the Red Flag. As Stede asks the crew about Ed’s location, Izzy watches him. He’s the only one not eating soup, hands tucked over his chest.

As Stede starts asking questions - dangerous questions for Izzy and the former crew of the Revenge - he walks over with a crutch.

Izzy: “Bonnet. Good to see you.” Stede: “Piss off, Izzy. I don’t wanna hear from you.”

Stede talks to the rest of the crew, as Izzy grimaces. Stede pays him no attention. The next time Izzy speaks up: Stede: “What about my painting? Why is it all stabbed up?” Izzy: (looking up through his hair, smiling.) “That was me.” Stede: (sighs and walks away without response.) Izzy: (blinks slowly, looking dismayed. We see him start to turn his head in Stede’s direction.)

Well, that seemed like someone trying to pick a fight, and disappointed he didn’t get one, too me. In Izzy’s mind, Stede is his romantic rival, the man Ed loves where he didn’t love Izzy, and, currently, also a threat, because if he keeps asking questions and reveals the mutiny, they’ll all be killed.

But Stede is one more thing. Stede is another dagger in Izzy’s heart, as we continue transcribing:

Izzy: “Don’t cry Bonnet. We just redecorated.” (has clearly been following Stede.) Stede: “I don’t mind, actually. I think the knives really help bring the place together.” (calmly stated before he walks away to look at the rest of the furniture.) Izzy: (drops his head, looking away as though trying to gather words.) Stede: (turns to look at Izzy.) “What’d you do with him? I know he wouldn’t have left by choice.” Izzy: (sniffles) I know you think you understand him. Stede: (interrupting) “He was either gonna watch the world burn or die trying, so which was it?” (leaning forward despite the considerable distance, still calm.) Izzy: (swallows, dips head. Starts moving forward, gritting teeth through words.) “Alright Bonnet. Have it your own way.” (stalking forward to Stede on his crutch.) “He went mad. He tortured the crew. He took my fuckin’ leg ‘cause I dared to mention your fuckin’ name.” (emphasis on the curses, slams fist when he says your name.) Stede: (in drawn breath, turns away) Izzy: “He was a wild dog, and we dealt with him like one.” Stede: “You sent him to Doggy Heaven.” Izzy: (stares in silence, head shaking. Flashes back to Ed laying in the rain, breathing out “Finally,” and laughing as Jim brings a cannonball down on him as Izzy watches. Stares. Turns to look away from Stede, face twisting. Shakes his head. Shuts his eyes. Breathes the word:) “No.” Stede: (turns to look back at him.) Izzy: “I could never do that.” (looks away, still not looking Stede in the face). “We deserved him on a beach (sniffles) left nature to do the rest. More than he would have done for us.” Stede: (turns away, breathing out.) Izzy: (continuing) “You and me did this to him. And we cannot let this crew suffer anymore for our mistakes.” Stede: (turns to look at Izzy) “Why would they suffer?” Izzy: “If your captain senses mutiny, she’ll kill us all. That’s pirate code.” Stede: (camera lingers on his face as he swallows.)

Doggy Heaven has a heavy meaning in this series, considering that Ed was supposed to send Stede to Doggy Heaven, and couldn’t because of his love for Stede. Ed couldn’t bring himself to kill Stede, but here is Stede, who Izzy views as a romantic rival, guessing that Izzy could kill Ed. Acknowledging that he, like Ed, believes that Izzy could kill Ed. Izzy, who thinks he couldn’t and wouldn’t and has love for Ed, and sees himself as loyal.

But Izzy did stand back as Ed was killed, and that’s why he reaches for dehumanizing language to defend the action - he calls Ed a wild dog and that they dealt with him like one.

(It’s the first time in the show that a white character makes a racist remark without immediate consequences. Before anyway says otherwise, yes it is always racist for white people to dehumanize a man of color. It is always racist to say a person of color is or was an animal or liken them to being an animal. He could have said that Ed was a danger to the crew in any number of ways but he reached for likening him to a creature less than human and yeah that’s a racist thing to do. I believe the show did not follow through with consequences for this action because it’s clear that Izzy is STILL trying to pick a fight with Stede.)

The commonality in all of these scenes with Stede are twofold. One, Izzy is trying to distract Stede from the truth of the mutiny and what the crew did (and the fact that Ed is still aboard the Revenge, left for dead [or as Izzy put it, for nature to do the rest]). The second is that Izzy is trying and failing to pick a fight - failing, because Stede won’t take him up on it. At all. Stede is not engaging with Izzy at this point outside of the practical matter of seeking information, and that’s all he has to spare for Izzy - he’s already told him to piss off once, and that’s as much energy as he spends on it, but Izzy comes at Stede antagonistically more than once - three times, actually, and I think it’s because if he has a fight with Stede, and Stede says all the things he’s thinking, about how awful Izzy is, how he’s a traitor, how could he have hurt Ed, any of those things, then Izzy can fight about it, and he can justify it to himself, and he can ignore the thought from now on, because it’s the same thought that Stede fuckin’ Bonnet is having, and those thoughts are worthless.

But Stede doesn’t give him that. Stede doesn’t give him a fight at all. Stede walks away from Izzy again and again and again and in doing so does not grant Izzy an out, an out that can ONLY come from Stede, because no one else is going to disagree with the mutiny.

Stede is the only one who could give him that fight, and Stede refuses. And Izzy continues to have to sit with his own thoughts and justifications and they clearly aren’t enough for him, because he’s continuing to push.

Izzy is also trying to protect himself and the crew, here. It’s very much about that. He is trying to keep himself and them from dying by being caught out for mutiny, but I think it’s interesting that it’s only here that he tries to take accountability for what he said and did to Ed, and it’s in service of avoiding what he’s actually done. Izzy says that he and Stede did this to Ed - this that resulted in, as he says, Ed going mad and torturing the crew and having to be mutinied and abandoned on the beach. Izzy needs Stede to feel equally responsible - so that Stede will help protect the crew, but also because I think Izzy is feeling guilty and has been, because he could watch Ed die, and he could hurt Ed, and he didn’t think of himself as that person, but he is and was, and thinking that he caused all of this himself is too much. Better to give some of it to Stede, and help the crew out as well as himself.

He had love for Ed, in his own way, and he thought they understood each other and had a partnership, but here’s Stede fuckin’ Bonnet, who only knew Ed for a matter of weeks, and understood him better than Izzy did and wouldn’t do the thing that Izzy did, and this is the final nail for Izzy, the thing he’s struggling with in this whole revelation that Ed didn’t have any romantic love for him, that there was no special intimate romance between them that didn’t need to be said or expressed or acknowledged with words or vulnerability to exist, because Stede takes one look at the situation and can summarize what happened. Stede knew that Ed would want to die, because you can’t actually burn the world down. You can say “burn the world or die trying”, but the only end result is dying trying.

And Izzy, I genuinely don’t think, understood that Ed wanted to die. Not until Ed offered him the gun. Not until Ed spelled it out. Izzy knew that Ed was fucked up over his feelings, but I don’t think he understood where they were leading.

But here’s Stede, and he did, and Izzy can’t take that, which is why once the truth is out and the mutineers are locked in the brig awaiting probable execution, Izzy tries to pick a fight one more time, even now that there’s nothing to distract Stede from.

Izzy: (hears footsteps and turns his head.) Stede: (comes to the brig, staring through the bars at Izzy, then the rest of the crew.) Izzy: (smiles) “Go on Bonnet, give me your worst.” Crew: (looks up at Stede slowly.) Stede: (Looks at all of them, silent and not visibly angry, somber. Tilts his head down, eyes closed. Opens his eyes, shoves against the bars and turns and walks away without a word.) Izzy: (Drops the smile. Stares forward into the distance, eyes visibly wet with tears, blinks several times).

So, clearly trying for a fight, wanting one, and continually being denied. Izzy is almost certainly grieving Ed, the relationship he thought they had, and also his leg, and Stede is the only other person here who would even possibly mourn Ed too, and Stede refuses to give him any response. Even when goaded, even knowing the truth, he has nothing to say to him. The next time Stede and Izzy are in the same room, Stede has concocted an escape plan, and doesn’t look at or speak to Izzy at all as he gives instructions and organizes the escape.

And when they have made it back to their ship, when they’re getting the wheel and rigging set for escape, they have a final conversation:

Izzy: (walks up behind Stede, who is watching the Red Flag.) “I just wanted to thank you for-” Stede: (walks away without letting him finish.) Izzy: (looks down, is left standing alone as live moves on the ship.)

Over the course of these three episodes, Izzy’s plot is realizing that he was fundamentally wrong about his relationship with Ed, his understanding of Ed as a person, and the depths of Ed’s feelings and despair. I think he’s also realizing that he was wrong about his relationship with Stede - he saw Stede as a romantic rival, and someone who hated him as much as he hates Stede, but given the opportunity to antagonize Izzy again and again, Stede refuses, because he doesn’t care about Izzy nearly enough.

Izzy has misunderstood the nature of his relationship as it were with both of these men, who are, and always were, predominantly, chiefly, and only, interested in each other.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd meta #izzy hands #edward teach #stede bonnet #ofmd s2 spoilers

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queens-of-spirits · 1 year

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Why the svsss papapa scenes are literary genius actually, Part 1:

So, fun fact, I originally wanted to do a funny little post where I ranked the four papapa scenes in svsss (with special mention to the start of the return to childhood extra and LMY’s writing) but my deranged ass decided to go full quirky English prof and turn this shit into a proper analysis.

So, believe it or not, the svsss papapa scenes are actually really important for understanding a lot of the characters and themes of the story. So yes. I am going to go through them all and explain why. Starting with…

Maigu Ridge (spoilers, obviously):

If this were actually my silly rankings post (which I still may make), Maigu ridge would rank dead last in any category related to actually being an enjoyable smut scene to read. That’s fine, because, to put it bluntly, that wasn’t the point.

It’s a subversion of the pressure and idea of the perfect first time or instinctive sexual skill seen in both power fantasy and romance/bl novels. That subversion and the shock of what happens is meant to take us out of the scene and make us think about the characters, the situation, and the tropes we take for granted. Remember, svsss is genre savvy twice over, both in Danmei/bl and power fantasy fiction. It explores both those worlds and the complicated aspects of both (I.e the obsession with revenge). It’s not trying to be a good smut scene, it’s setting up the characterization of the couple and the character arc seen throughout the rest of the papapa moments in the extras (more on that in future posts, but it’s about SQQ learning to be more open with his desire and pleasure) and exemplifying the main themes of the book (forgiveness and intention)

So without further ado, here is my analysis on this scene.

The notes about SQQ’s character in the Maigu Ridge scene should be obvious and understood by looking at the broad context of the scene. Like the Without a Cure moment, it shows how much he cares for LBH and his willingness to put his own life and body on the line to save him. It is devotion, pure and simple. However, more depth is revealed when examining specific passages (note all quotes are from the English publications because I don’t speak Chinese, so I’m sorry if the translation muddled the meaning).

The most vital part to me for Binghe’s character is this line:

“he’d done this out of consideration for Luo Binghe’s convenience, but unexpectedly he was flipped back around. Luo Binghe jammed himself between Shen Qingqiu’s legs, his entire attention rapt on Shen Qingqiu’s face.”

This refers to how SQQ tries to turn around so that LBH would not see his face during what is about to happen and LBH flipping him over again.

This, I believe is symbolic. SQQ turns around because he thinks that anyone will do and he is the only one willing, but that’s not true LBH wants SQH specifically. He needs to relieve the energy from the sword’s influence, yes, but despite that pain, he is focused solely on SQQ’s face.

The transformation from the stallion protagonist Bingge to our Bingmei is exemplified here better than any scene before it (I would argue it is later topped by the Bingge vs Bingmei extra). Unlike Binghe, Bingmei is not looking for mindless pleasure to escape his lonely life (represented here by the corrupting energy of the sword) he is seeking the one he adores above all, the one who he cares for more than anything. He has found true connection and THAT is what drives him to madness (remember, he’s trying to destroy everything to be the only one in SQQ’s world so he can’t be abandoned). That’s why, even when supposedly in a mad state, he seeks to look at SQQ’s face, because it isn’t about the sex, it’s about them, the two of them together.

The other vital part is the aftermath, before even the jade pendant. Specifically, this exchange:

“Shizun don’t hate me…I didn’t know…I never wanted to hurt you…why didn’t you push me away? Why didn’t you kill me?”

“This master knows. This master was willing”

Again, this was an act not born out of lust, like with Bingge and his wives, but something different. Bingge takes what he wants and feels no guilt because nothing was ever given to him, but Bingmei was given the world by one person and struggles with not feeling like, with not BEING the animal or monster that the rest of the world sees him as’

LBH had no intention to hurt SQQ

Just like how SQQ had no intention to hurt him by avoiding him

It’s symbolic of their relationship as a whole. Unintentional hurt and the forgiveness that follows. THATS why the remaining papapa scenes are so important. It’s about them learning to not hurt each other. Every single papapa scene that follows builds on this idea of them learning the right way to love each other (remember, their story together is just beginning after the last page of the book) and learning how to not hurt each other unintentionally, LBH physically, SQQ emotionally.

Again, clear themes of forgiveness and intention. The reasons behind why people do bad things (hence the focus on SJ and TLJ as complex characters) and the act of forgiveness and learning from mistakes, which I argue are the two main themes of SVSSS

So while Maigu ridge is terrible in terms of being an enjoyable scene to read, that was not it’s purpose. It’s purpose was to utilize the tropes of both Danmei and male fantasy to take us out of those genres (where first times always go well) and get us to THINK about the characters and why they do what they do, their intentions.

#bingqiu #svsss #shen qingqiu #luo binghe #luo bingge #luo bingmei #maigu ridge #scum villains self saving system #scum villian self saving system #papapa #SQQ #LBH #analysis #of things that maybe should not be #would my English teacher be proud or horrified?#you decide

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dfortrafalgar · 1 month

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I'm Losing You... (But We're Filling the Cracks)

Having a family isn't always as easy as fairy tales make it seem.

Warnings: Read chapter 1 for warnings. (Me: i'm going to take a few days off to rest my head and proofread! Also me: *literally cannot rest without posting another chapter*)

The final arc of this story has officially begun!

Taglist: @phsycochan | @mirillua | @augustanna | @chaixsherlock | @whore-of-many-hot-men

Chapter 21

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Law knew exactly what was in the large, secured envelope the second he pulled it out of his mailbox in the lobby. A large stamp accompanied by a handwritten address bar and an official wax seal holding the packet together made his grands grow clammy with anxiety as he took the elevator back up to the apartment, dreading opening the parcel to reveal the contents inside. He hadn’t even consumed anything from the hefty packet in his hands, but already he was plagued with an overwhelming guilt. With trembling fingers, he hunched over the kitchen counter and pulled the seal off of the envelope, flipping it open and removing the papers contained within.

New World Healthcare Dear TRAFALGAR D. WATER LAW, On behalf of your colleagues at New World Healthcare, we are delighted to invite you as an esteemed guest to the annual International Medical Multi-Specialty Conference hosted this year in Wano Kuni’s Flower Capital from August 15th - August 20th. Due to your extensive contributions to the field of cardiothoracic surgery, you are being offered the opportunity to speak as part of a cardiovascular surgery demonstration panel. We believe that attendees from the world’s most esteemed institutions would benefit greatly from your expertise, and your contribution to the conference will be unparalleled. Please send your notice of attendance to: NEW WORLD HEALTHCARE CORPORATION 321 PORTGAS DRIVE NEW MARINEFORD, NW 00021

“Fuck…” the black-haired man muttered under his breath. His head shot up at the sound of the lock in the front door turning signaling your return from work, watching with a forlorn expression as you pushed open the door and entered your apartment with a smile.

“Oh, hi, baby!” you called excitedly as you kicked off your shoes. You noticed almost instantly how pensive his expression was, however, and you were quick to drop your bag and cross the floor to be by his side. “What’s the matter?”

Law pulled out one of the chairs of your kitchen table, plopping himself down into it with a huff as he passed the letter over to you. He watched through weary eyes as you scanned the paper, taking in the esteemed words of recognition written to him by his hospital’s conglomerate. He pinched the bridge of his nose in his fingers, trying to fight the tension headache that was brewing in his frontal lobe.

“Law, this is amazing!” you cheered, pulling out another chair to sit across from him. “This is such an honor to speak at a conference this big!” You gazed at your husband, concern flushing your features. “Why are you upset? This is a dream come true for you.”

Your husband trailed his hand down his face before it dropped onto the wooden table with a thunk. “I know… it’s just… that’s the week you’re supposed to have your transfer done.”

Your own expression fell at the revelation, your heart aching at the sight of your husband’s uncomfortableness with not being able to be with you during your egg implantation procedure. You had already started your ovarian stimulation injections a few days prior, and Law insisted on being able to make as many of your appointments as he could, not wanting to miss a single event with you after your second miscarriage. He wasn’t there to protect you, and he’d be damned if he let you suffer alone ever again should anything happen.

“Baby…” you called, reaching your arm over the table to grasp his hand. “I wouldn’t want you to miss this event just because of me. This is such an incredible opportunity, one you’ve dreamed about since you were in medical school!”

“I know…” your husband sighed, taking your hand and brushing his inked digits over the glass ring on your right ring finger. “I just… I just don’t feel good… missing your procedures.”

His words made you stand from your seat, walking around the table to sit in the chair closest to him so you could fully grasp his hand, tethering yourself to his nervous form. “Law, look at me,” you pleaded.

Your husband’s anxious, golden eyes flicked over to your face, assessing your features. You were focused, concentrated, almost daring in your expression.

“I have our friends to help me if I need it. I could always have Ikkaku or Shachi or Penguin come with me for the transfer and help out with the dog. I know you want to be there, and I want nothing more than for you to be there, too. But I also don’t want you to miss this opportunity just because of me,” you explained.

“It wouldn’t be ‘just because of you,’” he sighed, repeating your words. “Nothing I do for you is ‘just because.’”

Your eyebrows furrowed, your chest clenching. You hadn’t even realized how inwardly self deprecating your phrase had been, but even still, you clung to your resolve. “I know… I just really wouldn’t feel comfortable if you passed up this chance. I can tell you want to go, Law. I can see it.”

Law’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment as his steely eyes darted away from your gaze. He clenched your hand harder.

“I want you to go and experience this. We’ll be able to call each other every single day, and I’ll send you constant updates and pictures. It’ll be like you never left!” you explained, hoping to draw some relief or contentment out of your husband’s clearly troubled mind.

Your enthusiastic grin did, in fact, do wonders to loosen Law’s worries as you watched his shoulders hunch ever so slightly and his jaw unclench. He released a deep sigh from his lungs as he leaned into you, touching your shoulder with his. “You’d really be okay if I left for that week?”

You nodded. “I’d be even more okay if you brought me home some authentic snacks from the Flower Capital!”

Law’s lips finally curled into that genuine smile you loved so much as he snorted out a laugh at your request. “I’ll need to bring an extra carry-on bag for all the gifts I can bring home to you.”

You giggled, throwing your arms around your husband’s neck, much more excited at the prospect of him deciding to attend his dream conference. “I’m so proud of you, Law. You’ve become such a big name in the medical world that you’re being invited to speak at a conference…” your voice was almost dreamy as you spoke. “My husband… a big shot in Wano… I almost wish I could go with you just so I can rub it into everyone’s face,” you added with a mischievous smile.

Law pulled you closer to him, lightly pinching his fingers against the soft flesh of your hip and making you squeal in surprise. “I’ll change my phone wallpaper to a picture of you, so if anyone looks they’ll know that I’ve got a smokeshow of a wife waiting for me at home.”

You pulled away from him slightly, a playful pout on your face. “Is your wallpaper not already a picture of me?”

“Nope. It’s a picture of Bepo’s fat ass,” he confirmed.

“Okay, that makes me feel a bit better,” you added. “My wallpaper is a hot character from that anime I’ve been watching.”

Law frowned playfully as he stood from his chair, scooping you into his arms. “I’ll make you regret that.”

“Law!” you yelped, laughing and lightly batting his shoulder as he carried you to your bedroom. “I promise I’ll change it! I promise!”

—

Robin had told you prior to your first ovarian stimulation injection that some side effects common with shifts in hormones could occur, and you were beginning to regret not fully listening to her advice, assuming that the side effects would be similar to a standard period. Especially now that you were finishing your final cycle of injections at home after a brief training period with the needle and syringe.

Oh how wrong you were.

Shachi made a passing comment while stopping over with some food that you seemed more emotional than usual, which rendered you a blubbering, sobbing mess, and left him with a sizable bruise on his bicep from a harsh punch from Penguin. While at work, Usopp made the hellish, poorly thought out decision of asking if you had gained some weight, which sent you crying to the bathroom while Ikkaku chased after you, Nami and Sanji berating your friend and coworker for his rude remark. You were far more fatigued than usual, your headaches being more prominent and far more annoying, and you constantly felt bloated. You tried to get Bepo to step on your stomach in hopes that you could release a rip current of a fart from deep in your bowels, but Law put a stop to that real quick. Which then resulted in another wave of involuntary tears, beyond frustrated at the gas in your abdomen.

On the night following your final injection, you were lying curled up on your side on the couch, sobbing into Law’s lap as he idly petted your hair, leaning his other arm over the armrest of the couch while balancing his chin on his knuckles. A rerun of an old medical drama series was playing on the television.

“Law…” you blubbered, sniffling onto his pants.

“Yes, baby?” he asked, half paying attention to you.

“How have you not left me yet?” you whined. “I’ve been… s-so… annoying…”

Law suppressed a chuckle. “You’re not annoying, love.”

“Yes I ammmm…” you complained, drawing out your words. “I’m hormonal… I can’t wait for this to be over…”

“You’re hormonal, yes, but that doesn’t mean you’re annoying,” he reassured. “Robin told you these side effects might happen. Now that you’re done with your injections, hopefully your symptoms die down soon.”

You rotated slightly, enough to peer up at him through blurry, teary eyes. “Will you still love me if I’m an annoying, cranky pregnant lady?”

Law grinned, mildly amused with the hoops you were jumping through in your hazy, hormonal mind. “Of course I will.”

“Even if I get mad at you for something stupid?” you asked, unaware of just how much validation you were desperate to receive from your doting husband.

“Even if you get mad at me, yes,” he confirmed with a smirk.

“Will you still love me even when I get fat and wrinkly?” you sniffled. “Even when my boobs get saggy?”

Law was restraining every muscle in his body to not laugh at your sorry state. He truly did feel awful for you, that your mandatory injections were making you feel so miserable, but to him, the truth of your questions was undeniable. He was content with constantly reminding you of just how beautiful you were to him, in every stage of life. “I’ll love you even when you’re wrinkly,” he said, gently patting your cheek. “And you’re not fat, you’re beautiful.”

“Can fat be beautiful?” you asked, blinking some stray tears from your eyes.

“Yes, it can be. But I don’t like using that word,” he explained.

“Then what word would you use?”

Law pondered briefly, gazing at your curled up form on his lap. “Healthy,” he responded. “Sexy. Squishy, even.” He punctuated his word by gently squeezing the soft flesh of your waist, making a grin crack onto your lips. To even the playing field, he asked, “Will you love me even when I’m old and wrinkly?”

You sucked in another sharp sniffle. “You’re gonna be so fucking hot when you’re old.”

Your words finally made Law lose his restraint, a laugh forcing its way from his mouth and making him place his free hand over his face to hide his amusement. In one week from now when you were (hopefully) feeling more like your usual self, you were going to be beyond embarrassed remembering what you had said in your vulnerable state. He needed to enjoy this now while he could.

“Alright, sexy, I think you should get some rest,” he cooed, reaching for the remote to turn off the TV.

You looped your arms around his neck, hiding your swollen, flustered face in his shirt collar. “Carry me?”

Law chuckled. “Of course.”

—

“Text me the second you land,” you demanded, holding your husband’s inked hands in your own at the gate outside of the airline security check-in line. It was far too early in the morning for you, but you refused to let your husband leave for his conference without a proper goodbye. “And send me pictures! And call me!”

Law leaned down to peck a kiss on your lips which you happily reciprocated, whining slightly under your breath when he pulled away. “Please send me updates when you can.”

“Of course, baby,” you cooed, your voice gentle and soft as you pulled your husband in for a tight hug. “It’ll only be seven days…”

“Seven days too many…” he sighed back into your neck, squeezing your waist. He reluctantly pulled away from you, shifting his attention to Shachi who awkwardly rocked on his feet from side to side. “And you…”

Shachi’s concealed gaze turned toward Law as he pointed one of his fingers at himself, mouthing, ‘Me?’

“You and Penguin better take good care of her while I’m gone,” he demanded, his voice stern yet still retaining his usual mischievousness he displayed around his best friends.

“Yes, captain!” Shachi called back, holding up a mock salute as if part of a pirate crew.

The sight made you giggle as you rubbed your husband’s arm, leaning upwards to press one last kiss against his cheek. His skin was soft, having just trimmed his facial hair and sideburns that morning in preparation for his trip. You wished he could stay so you could kiss his soft skin all day until his usual scruff grew back, but alas, he had an international crowd to impress. “I love you, baby,” you called.

“I love you, too,” he replied, shouldering his carry-on bag. “See you in seven days.”

“Safe travels, Law!” Shachi called over your shoulder, making you smile.

With one last grin and a wave of his free hand, you watched as he collected his rolling suitcase and proceeded to the security line to enter the airport terminal. You turned your attention toward Shachi, whose chest was puffed out in a prideful display.

“I’m going to be the best damn caregiver to you,” he uttered, jokingly flexing his shoulders.

You laughed, grabbing his arm to lead him back to the airport’s main exit so you could return to your car and grab breakfast somewhere. “Hey now, I’m still able to be independent. Don’t think I’m going to let you take over everything in my house just because of my procedure in a few days!”

Shachi huffed, pulling his car keys out of his pocket as the two of you walked through the small drop-off parking area to his car. You and Law were fortunate enough to afford two fairly decent cars, both of your vehicles being older models of used sedans that you kept very well maintained. Shachi’s car on the other hand was… less well off.

It was a 1995 SUV of some kind. The metal radiator emblem that was previously situated on the front was no longer attached, and there were no indicator decorations on the rear bumper to indicate what make and model the car was. It came with no user manual, and when he purchased it from a random number he found on the side of the road, it was basically given to him free of charge with two completely flat tires and a completely rusted through exhaust. The red-head had done a great deal of work on the beat-up vehicle, completely replacing the interior seats, adding an up-to-date dashboard and radio system, and giving the exterior a few new coats of shiny paint among other technical improvements, but the old beater really showed its age when you watched your friend shove the key into the ignition and twist with the force of a powerlifter to ignite the engine.

The entire car shook as the engine roared to life, the sound almost deafening through the thin metal doors. Out of habit, you grabbed on to the handle built into the inside of the door, a futile attempt at securing yourself. Seat belts could only do so much when the car rattled like a scared dog.

“Still haven’t fixed the shaking yet?” you asked, trying to hide your concern as Shachi yanked on the gear shift, putting the car in reverse and throwing his arm over the back of your seat to exit his narrow parking spot.

“I can’t figure out where it’s coming from,” he replied, annoyance on his tongue. “I’m shocked this stupid thing is still running. Sometimes I feel like the floor is going to give out.”

You tossed a worried glance down at the car’s floor beneath your feet. There were a few discarded food wrappers and plastic water bottles strewn about, a plethora of various colors of crumbs in the small nooks and crannies of the floor and around the fabric floor mat. You made a mental note to not let Shachi take your [hopefully] future child anywhere in his car.

Nevertheless, the car successfully rumbled to the drive through window of a small breakfast restaurant, where you excitedly ordered two coffees and two donuts for the two of you.

Shachi took a generous sip of his coffee as he drove. “So what’s the plan, again? Just so that I know what this week is gonna look like.”

You nodded, taking a small nibble of your donut and washing it down with a sip of your own drink. “Today I’m getting the injection that will trigger my eggs, and on Wednesday I’ll be having the extraction procedure. I chose to stay awake and just use local anesthesia, so you won’t have to worry about me being loopy, but I won’t be able to drive before or after. That’s what I hopefully have you guys for!” The car rattled as Shachi lightly depressed the brakes, driving around morning traffic. “If this car doesn’t kill me before then, anyway.”

“Hey, she’s a beater but she’s still moving!” Shachi pestered back, defending his rusting hunk of metal. He smiled, his toothy grin bringing you a sense of familiar contentment. “Sounds good, though. What kind of process is this, anyway?”

“Do you want the simple explanation or the complicated one?” you asked, placing your coffee into one of your friend’s crumb-filled cup holders.

“Simple, please,” he replied, his voice slightly desperate for an easy-to-digest explanation.

“Basically, I’ve taken some medication to make sure my eggs are mature. Some of them get removed from my body, and they’re fertilized in a dish. When they grow enough, if they grow at all, they’re placed back in my body where they’ll hopefully become a fetus.”

Shachi nodded, though you were unsure if any of what you just said stuck with him. “So where does Law come in?”

“He already had his sperm harvested and frozen,” you responded. You were counting your blessings in your head, though, as neither of you had any idea that Law would be leaving the week of your procedure. Fate must have been on your side when he elected to freeze the sperm that was collected for his second precautionary fertility test.

“Did they have him jack off into a cup or something?” Shachi asked, taking another sip of his coffee.

“Unfortunately,” you joked in response. You doubted your husband would want to go into the details, knowing the tendency of his best friends to poke fun at his shortcomings, but the thought nevertheless made you chuckle. “Hey, can we stop by the grocery store before we head back to the apartment? I want to pick up a few things.”

Shachi, with his mouth full of donut, flashed you an excited thumbs up. You grinned, taking a delicate sip of your coffee as you gazed out the passenger window, the sun slowly rising above the horizon.

#x reader #reader insert #fem reader #law x reader #trafalgar law x reader #one piece x reader #op x reader #trafalgar d water law x reader #trafalgar d water law #trafalgar law #i'm losing you

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booksandpaperss · 11 months

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How Stranger Things (poorly) handles racism as a topic compared other heavy topics it successfully tackles

before we get started, I would to direct you all to some other accounts who have already discussed this that you should check out either before or after reading this post: @wewebaggit @googoogagaeyes @elekinetic and anyone else please feel free to tag yourself or another account that’s discussed this and I’ll happily boost it

Content Warning for in show examples of racism and discussions of racism, as well as mentions of homophobia and the AIDES epidemic

. While we're discussing historical accuracy in stranger things and homophobia + ignorance being present even in well meaning characters, I want to point out that if the writers of the show weren't so squeamish about addressing racism in any in depth way, than this type of historical accuracy would be for racism too.

what I mean by this: in this sense, the show is not consistent. It's clear that the writers have done their research on 80s homophobia and how openly prevalent it was, if the AIDES allegory in season 2 and the way homophobia was very clearly present in seasons 1 and 2 (it still is in seasons 3 and 4 but the first 2 seasons showed it in the scope of the entire town), but racism was just as overtly prevalent, and yet the writers have neglected to address it in the same thoughtful and coded way. if the show was just as consistent about racism as it is about homophobia, than the white characters would be at the very least shown as ignorant just like the straight characters are.

and I'm not going to say that it's completely ignored, because that's not true:

-in season 2; mike makes an ignorant comment that implies Lucas should have been Winston because he's black, and Lucas calls him on it. There's also the very racist undertones (that are practically overtones) of Billy's treatment of Lucas. -There is almost nothing in season 3 except for a jokey joke when Nancy says the whole party is her family and the receptionist, who is a black woman, gives Lucas a skeptical look.

-Season 4 is a little better, with the implications (key word: implications, I'll come back to that in a moment) of Lucas's season 4 arc being that he was trying to fit in because he didn't want to be racially targeted and bullied for being a nerd at the same time anymore, that he felt like even more of an outsider compared to the rest of his otherwise all white friend group who, as far as he knows, are all cishet and giving him shit for wanting to lessen how much he's perceived as an outsider because he's automatically seen as even more of a "freak", and his friends just weren't getting it because they were white and ignorant. So the writers aren't blind to race and racism.

However. None of the examples that I've just listed are addressed later in any in depth way; not like the homophobia is. The only one that's even remotely delved into instead of simply being glossed over is Lucas's s4 arc, and even that is still very flitted around and left up to interpretation of the audience.

The writers seem to have a very "hit and run" sort of policy with addressing racism. They clearly know they should, and they at least seem to know that having a black character in an 80s setting with a cast of mostly white characters inherently creates a lot of racial subtext-

-for example, the very loud subtext of Jason (a white boy much older than Lucas) seeing Max (a white girl) in a trance alone with Lucas (a black boy) and immediately assuming the worst + Jason's white friends tackling an 11 year old black girl to the ground: subtext that I'm still not sure if the writers and directors were even aware of bc they never addressed it and their track record isn't great-

-but they hardly do anything about it.

I'm not surprised, considering this show is headed by two white men, but what really gets me is that they all truly could have tried harder. Like I said earlier, it's clear they've done research and put thought into addressing homophobia (it still could've been handled better but that's an entirely different conversation), and it's evident from Max's s4 arc that they also did research on Depression, PTSD, and the impacts on someone of their abusive family member dying. So the lack of care and thought put into addressing racism in the same way is clearly more than ignorance (which would still be bad, when you're writing a show this big in 2023 with topics like this you're actually, shocker, responsible for making sure they're addressed properly, ignorance is a choice at that point), its just fucking lazy. they don't care. And this not caring is inherently harmful on a show this big and frankly, I'm tired of so many viewers and people in this fandom straight up ignoring this fact, just like the show runners.

And I haven't even covered the complete lack of effort put into Patrick's backstory, or the fact that Erica is very much the sassy, mature for her age black girl stereotype (she deserves so much better). Oh, And we can’t forget the copaganda.

I'm glad that season 4 started to explore the dynamic between Lucas and Erica and expand on both their characters, and from the looks of things that will continue in season 5, so the writers have a chance to do their research, actually put effort more effort into the sinclair sibling’s characters, and improve, and I'm hoping they will but as of right now I don't trust them to, and won't unless they prove me wrong.

TDLR; the main issue is that Stranger Things is clearly a show that addresses topics like depression, abuse, homophobia, and racism, but the racism part is neglected compared to the others, just like how Lucas and Erica's characters are handled poorly compared to the white characters,. it's lazy, horribly insensitive, and racist in and of itself. There's a clear bias, and even if it improves in season 5 we still should be talking about it, and more white people (yes white queer people included, we are not exempt from this discussion, if anything we should care just as much about it as when we’re talking about homophobia) in this fandom need to start listening when black and brown people do talk about it instead of just waltzing through and ignoring it for your own peace of mind.

also I should clarify that I myself am white, I made sure I did research before making this post in order to talk about this accurately and consciously, but if I made any mistakes or said something insensitive or used an incorrect term or anything else, feel free to correct me and I will readily fix it

as a final note: please check my rebligs of this for links to more posts that talk abt this issue

#also I know this is a lot of text I’m sorry I tried my best to format it but it’ll be way easier to read on desktop than on ur phone #stranger things #stranger things analysis #stranger things fandom #tw racsim #elli talks stranger things

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utilitycaster · 3 months

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Level Up: Bells Hells Level 12

As always: are there errors or major omissions? Let me know! Your preferred feat or spell isn’t listed? That’s because it’s not my preferred feat or spell, and you should make your own post for your own preferences! Additionally, because level-ups are no longer done at the end of sessions but are rather their own separate videos, I now include speculation for the next level(s) since there’s often very little time to speculate on the current level.

Chetney: He could take another rogue level, as Fearne has, but I think leveling in blood hunter is by far the wiser choice, though Travis does have the rare carte blanche for being good at mechanics award I just made up. Anyway, rogue would give him cunning action, but blood hunter is a big one: hemocraft die goes up to d8, unarmed strike bonus goes up to +2, and he not only gains another use of hybrid transformation per rest but also can now regenerate a small number of hit points at the start of each turn while injured, which will improve his already impressive tanking prowess. Looking forward: I think he should stick to the single rogue level, honestly, and keep leveling in blood hunter. 12 is an ASI level, so: ASI to strength, int, or con, all key stats, would be best in my opinion. He could even out his wisdom score, but also he's rarely been badly afflicted with bloodlust and this party does not lack for wisdom but does need all the int, str, and stacks of HP it can get.

Laudna: You've already seen my thoughts on sorlock before (if you haven't, basically: I think it's not as strong as people think) so this is a bit tough to optimize. Anyway, warlock 4 is a very narratively valid choice if Marisha wanted to level in order to indicate the impact returning to Delilah has had. It would grant her an ASI/feat, another spell, and another cantrip. Personally, I am once again asking Bells Hells to get some intelligence; as a warlock base Laudna's WIS save is already pretty solid, though a DEX bonus wouldn't hurt her either. I don't actually have a ton of feats in mind since she came in with a bunch of feats. Meanwhile, if she continues in sorcerer, level 9 is something of a milestone level and grants access to 5th level spells (and a new known spell) in addition to the usual sorcery point increase. Ultimately this is a tough choice - I think sorcerer is the superior choice mechanically, but warlock might make more sense in-story. Looking forward: really dependent on which path she takes, honestly, but if she does level in warlock I think she should level in sorcerer next. [Note from JUST NOW: she's taking sorcerer; place your level 5 spell bets now]

FCG: It's an ASI level for the non-multiclassers of the group, and: Wisdom. Up wisdom. I don't care if it's a +1 feat or a +2 ASI, either are valid, but increase wisdom. Last time I mentioned skill expert and observant as options; skill expert is I think the better choice since Orym has observant covered. Looking forward: it's a quiet but powerful time for clerics; level 13 grants seventh level spells and pals, all of them are bangers. Plane Shift and Resurrection are the famous ones, but Fire Storm? Divine Word? Etherealness? Symbol? Not a dud in the bunch.

Fearne: She took rogue last time so I do hope she takes a druid level, because cauterizing flames seems thematically appropriate with the shard and with embracing her power -both its healing and harmful sides - and also it's a fantastic ability. If she does take rogue, I feel like thief is the subclass that makes most sense because in combat, she's going to be relying on druid powers, and thief provides some great out-of-combat utility (and is generally an underrated rogue class). Looking forward: I do like the idea of thief Fearne, but also, level 11 is when she gets Transport via Plants, which is pretty key. Level 11 has a bunch of other great druid spells, as fans of Keyleth during the Briarwoods arc would know: Heal and Heroes' Feast both overlap with FCG's abilities but it doesn't hurt to have access to both; giving Fearne Conjure Fey is particularly funny; Sunbeam rules and she's done great things with Daylight; and Bells Hells is already learning the value of Wind Walk.

Imogen: ASI level and I say even out your stats: + 1 each to INT and WIS. She has a lot of feats already and the only one that I think makes sense to take now is War Caster, but right now she does not have a great wisdom save bonus and again, even a +1 to INT wouldn't hurt (plus she is, iirc, proficient in investigation, making her better at it than anyone but Chetney, so another point in that won't hurt in this part). Looking forward: I am assuming she's going to keep leveling in sorcerer and if things happen re: Predathos or Kord it will be represented by a subclass change rather than a class change or multiclass, but watch this space. Anyway, level 13 is time for seventh level spells, and my vote is for teleport since FCG can cover Plane Shift, but I must admit I do love Prismatic Spray.

Orym: it's another ASI and he gets a zillion of them! My boring ASI-loving ass says +1 to INT and CON. He could also take Sentinel although the big three generals can all probably teleport so I don't know if it's that useful, but Mage Slayer probably would be. Looking forward: At level 13 he gets a second use of indomitable, which is great but there's not a ton to say about it. At level 14 he gets another ASI and he should take whichever of the recs I have up here he doesn't take at level 12.

Ashton: An ASI to them too. I feel the move is to max out strength at this point. The CON loss sucked but their CON was already very good; focus on hitting a little harder. Sentinel and Mage Slayer are also valid options for them, though I'd go for the ASI and let Orym, he of the zillion ASI levels, take those. Looking forward: Brutal critical comes at L13, and a path feature at L14; as their subclass is homebrew I have no idea what that feature might be, but I'm excited.

#critical role #bells hells #cr spoilers

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candyskiez · 7 months

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fuck it. belos and grimwalker analysis time. before this starts, I wanna make this clear that this is a "belos is horrible bad terrifying" post. if you're looking for "belos is a sad pained man who deserved a redemption arc", you are REALLY in the wrong place. got it? great, good. let's get started.

I think, at the end of the day, the reason belos made the grimwalkers was to simulate connection. he wanted to fill the urge of someone taking care of him like caleb did when he was "good." he wanted someone with all the "good" traits caleb had, all the "right" parts of him, the perfect version of him he'd created that he believes evelyn "stole" from him. but making the grimwalkers like caleb wasn't the only reason.

he wanted someone to like him. who takes care of him, who feels bad for him. hes trying to simulate a close relationship he can't have with demons or witches since in his twisted world view, they're not people. they're horrible and sinful. so are grimwalkers, but they're slightly more bearable. he's essentially using them as a substitute for human connection as well as trying to 'save' caleb. to take care of him, to feel bad for him, to compliment him more personally, to spend time with. he was essentially trying to fill the void he himself created by being a piece of shit. he's trying to make someone that loves him "unconditionally." but his definition of unconditional isn't "I will never stop loving you." it's "I will believe you're always right." which is insanely unrealistic and insanely unhealthy. he essentially wants someone who spoon feeds him constant reassurance that yes you are perfect and do no wrong. he wants someone to constantly validate his horrific world views and tell him hes good , so he never has to stand still for too long and think about what he's done.

onto the "saving caleb" part.

his definition of saving caleb isn't saving him from danger. it's making him Perfect. it's making him hate witches, it's making him prioritize HIM above all else, it's making him not have a life outside him, it's essentially getting rid of all his flaws. whether it be actual flaws or things literally only belos considers flaws. his idea of perfection is unattainable. and also massively fucked up, but you already knew that. he wants a caleb that never fails, never disagrees with him, takes care of him, adores him, protects him, has no life outside of him, and will never ever leave. he never grew at all from the world view he was raised in, despite having centuries to do so. he separates the "good" parts of caleb and the "bad" parts of caleb into two completely different people. he tries to recreate "good" caleb. he has no care for the consequences or "caleb's" mental or physical well being. only if "caleb" is with him and agrees with him.

he has no care for the consequences of committing genocide against an entire world. only if it means that everything was worth it and caleb was wrong and philip was right. only if it means he's right. he's tunnel vision and a horrible bigot and so so in that deep end.

he didn't get redeemed because he chose to never ever admit he was wrong. he had no desire to admit he's wrong or to change. all he cared about, all he ever cared about, was two things.

1. being right.

2. his brother agreeing that he was right.

he doesn't care about anything else except for himself and the made up version he has of his older brother. he refuses to let his brother change, because that means considering if he has to.

belos is so horrifically fucked up and that's what makes him such an excellent character.

#toh spoilers #the owl house spoilers #owl house spoilers #the owl house #toh #owl house #emperor belos #philip wittebane #caleb wittebane #grimwalkers

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ratlesshonret · 6 months

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Song Analysis - And Then is Heard No More

Part 0 - The Part You Skip if You Just Want the Analysis

Hi! Its me again! Last time I analyzed Children of the City, and someone requested an analysis of And Then is Heard No More, which I've actually already written in the past.

With that said, this entire analysis was posted on Reddit about a month ago, and I'm simply reposting it here for a new audience. If there's any formatting errors from the copy-paste action, please let me know.

Part 1 - Analysis of Lyrics

If you don't already know, this song is about Philip from Library of Ruina. Its his Character Song. I assume you did know, but this is just so we're all on the same page.

Do the candles look forward to being used? Enjoy bidding adieu, adieu? Every word I have saved for you came out wrong Afterwards, so I spoke no more

(credit to tumblr user tearychildren for helping me analyze this verse)

In the first two lines of the song, Philip is wanting to be reassured. He's looking for solace, for comfort, attempting to convince himself that his life was worth it. The metaphor, with candles looking forward to being used, is meant to represent humanity. If I were to translate, I'd say he's asking, "Do people look forward to burning out and doing nothing, before dying?"

Philip wants to know he didn't waste his life. He wants to be told that all there is to life is burning out immediately. Because if he was told there's more to life, he might not be able to handle it. He wants reassurance, to be told that this is the fate of everyone.

The latter two lines refer to Philip's co-worker Yuna. In the Unstable Book of the Crying Children, Philip details a failed love confession to Yuna, which is almost certainly what this verse is about. When his confession didn't work, he likely internalized it as him just saying something wrong, and thus he decided to "speak no evil."

Would you say That someone who had every intention to be brave Was a coward?

This line speaks to several things. The first, and most obvious, is that Philip wants to know if he has been a coward. He wants to know if all his fleeing and denying of the facts makes him cowardly, even if he intended to be brave.

And this details a theme of his whole arc: Philip wants to be a hero, but he can't be one.

The second thing this line speaks about is the Project Moon universe's general question of, "Do the thoughts/intentions behind your actions matter, or the actions themselves?" Is it enough to have just wanted to be brave? Or do you need to act the part, as well?

In my opinion, Philip was a coward. He made attempts not to be, but they all fell short, sometimes for reasons in his control and sometimes for not. And I don't think his "intention to be brave" is enough to absolve him of that.

Must be great being you Power comes as second nature Must feel amazing to be longed for, longed for

Philip has this trend of blaming everything but himself. This verse starts the detailing of the dichotomy in his mind, which leads to immense hypocrisy. Philip sees himself as inherently weak, and due to this, he doesn't feel like he can be held to the same standards as everyone else. He can deflect people's criticisms of him by just playing the, "I'm weak, I couldn't have done anything" card.

It also appears Philip believes in "inherent ability." That someone can be born better than another person. But he doesn't take this idea to its logical extreme.

If other people are born better than him, and thus Philip is the only one doing the noble climb to be strong, then why isn't he strong? If he thought it through, he'd know the answer: he isn't trying hard enough. He just expects his heroic opportunity to be handed to him.

Philip almost seems to think he's the only one who has to work for his success, despite him being basically given a position that many people could only dream of.

But there's a reason he doesn't take this idea to its extreme. Because in its current state, it acts as a shield. If other people are inherently better than him, then he doesn't need to be held to their standards. He enjoys having the ability to just block out blame by using weaponized incompetence.

(I opened my eyes) Cemented excuses to my lash-line So I could see no more

At the very least, in the end, Philip seems to admit that he's just making excuses. At every turn, he finds reasons that he couldn't have done more. In every situation, he manages to blame someone other than himself for what happened. But deep down, he knows that his friend's deaths and the killing of three other people he went to for help is his fault.

In Philip's foolish quest for vengeance and heroism, he got three innocent people killed.

And this is where I want to detail the second part of this dichotomy. Philip claims everyone is better than him, sure, but he also thinks he's some legendary hero. He uses this idea that he's some heroic figure to ignore the guilt for his actions.

If he's able to go into the Library with Wedge Office and strike down the ones who killed his colleagues, then it'd all be worth it. That was probably his rationale for dragging those three into the library with him. If he can get vengeance, he'll be the hero. And if the people of Wedge Office have to die, then he'll make that sacrifice if he can get his epic final battle.

And in this battle... if he dies, he doesn't need to worry anymore. And if he wins, he'll be a hero.

Which is why he gets neither.

Philip has to face reality. He isn't a hero. He isn't just some unfairly tortured soul, waiting for his chance to be written down as a legend in the history books. At the end of the day... he's just Philip.

Not to say he doesn't try! In the Philip fight during the Wedge Office Reception, he is very powerful, and fully intends to destroy the Library or die trying. For once in his life, he is determined to do something, which is why he's able to manifest EGO. His desire to be a hero, his desire to win, creates a sword and wings with which to fight with.

As one last aside, let's talk about Philip's EGO. He has a flaming sword, which is very traditional for heroes. The knight holding a flaming sword over a dragon's head, that kind of thing. But he also has burning, melting wings. Which calls back to the tale of Icarus, who in his excitement to finally fly, went to close to the sun and had his wings melted.

Just like Icarus, Philip, in his excitement to finally be the hero, brought three people to their deaths and compounded his own guilt because of some selfish desire to avenge his friends. That was his, "fly too close to the sun."

So which home should someone as weak as I go? (And which sky should I aim for when I've only been low?) I have only been low

Yet again, Philip is pointing out how weak he is. He wants a place to belong, a place to go, now that his friends are all dead. And he also seems to be continuing to avoid blame. He can't aim very high, because he's so pathetic that he'd just fail anything too hard. He doesn't need to try and aim higher, because he has already decided he isn't capable of anything. It shields him from the guilt of not doing enough.

Day and night, your ghosts continue to haunt me Tell me who to be

This references the scene at the 8 o'Clock Circus, where Philip distorts. When he is shown his own visions of his colleagues, they do nothing but blame him for his actions, and in some cases, his inaction.

We get a front-seat look into what Philip thinks they'd say to him.

Both of them are cruel. But he doesn't want to hear it. As they criticize him, he covers his ears and closes his eyes, not wanting to confront the fact that he made the wrong choice.

But he has to confront it. It's impossible not to. Which is why he ends up distorting.

If I went with you, will there be happily ever afters? Sipping on tea I steeped together, together

At this point, Philip seems to wish he had just died with his friends. He wants to know if he'd be happier in whatever afterlife that exists if he hadn't just continued to make a fool out of himself. Its definitely sad, how Philip just seems resigned to the idea of death at this point.

He just wants to have tea with them again.

(Read me a story of a hero born knowing the all) Read me a book of me So I could hear no more

Finally, we get to the last verse. Philip wants to know what his book says. Or, more accurately, he wants to think that when he dies, his book will be about how heroic he was. About how he was born as some tragic figure, who overcame all the negativity in his life and became a legend.

But of course, his actual book is mostly just about the times he was a coward and refused to face reality.

Not only does he want to think his book would be about his heroism, he doesn't want to hear different. He wants someone to tell him how amazing he was, until he can't hear any of the negative things other people have to say. He wants to ignore reality for his petty hero fantasy.

Philip is a hypocrite.

He's simultaneously too weak to try anything, and too heroic to be criticized.

He admits how cowardly he is, and then desires to be told he's a brave hero.

Philip is maybe a prime example of cognitive dissonance.

Part 2 - Summary

Despite all of this... I can't bring myself to hate Philip. He's cowardly, hypocritical, ignores any criticism, hides in his own fantasies, and uses his incompetence as a shield to block anything he doesn't want to hear. But I don't hate him.

Honestly, I think most people would act how he did in his situation.

I understand running for your life. And I understand the survivor's guilt that comes with that.

And revenge is just a natural human desire.

In terms of his actions, which I think is what matters, his gravest sin is dragging three innocent people into his revenge quest.

And Then Is Heard No More is, in essence, both Philip explaining how he got to where he is, and wanting to be told he didn't make any mistakes. Even in the end, he's too cowardly to own up to them.

Because that's who Philip is.

Part 3 - Final Part

So yeah, that's And Then is Heard No More. I like this song, and I like Philip. I hope you all enjoyed this copy-pasted analysis.

#project mili #mili #library of ruina #philip lor #and then is heard no more

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sunseed-fandump · 7 days

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I can only imagine what would happen once Shadow Milk’s weaved story of lies and manipulation on the kids breaks. It’d definitely happen somewhere around Beast Yeast (presumably around the point when Lily seals him back into the tree) where either two scenario’s happen: 1. The kids are left completely helpless and distraught once Shadow Milk’s influence is gone and Pure Vanilla, Lily, with the help of Chili and Custard take the kids through a “healing arc” of sorts or 2. The kids immediately run away from the Faerie Kingdom and stay with the CoD in a similar fashion to the Chess Choco’s from Ovenbreak which causes the manipulation cycle to continue..

You’re right to assume everything comes to a head during Beast-Yeast.

The kids are so so happy for their Ringmaster! And of course Shadow Milk Cookie is sure to shower his little performers with plenty of praise. They’ve done SO well! He’s so so proud! And now that he’s out, he can give the kids a glimpse of that happy peaceful world he promised them!

But the cracks start to show. By this point, the kids have already had a few moments of doubt over the course of their journeys. However it’s when he starts puppeting the faeries when the kids start to get a sense of “maybe it’s not just my imagination”

The Circus is here! But nobody seems to actually be having any fun. There’s monsters and fighting and cookies getting hurt. This doesn’t look happy OR peaceful. This is just pure chaos.

And much to everyone’s surprise, when Shadow Milk commands the kids to take care of White Lily. They hesitate.

So the kids tell him. “This isn’t what we wanted” “Please stop hurting them, can’t we get along?” “I’m so tired, I don’t wanna fight anymore”

Well that wasn’t in the script, but! It’s no big deal.

After all that’s what puppet strings are for.

It takes the decisive swing of a sword from an unexpected ally to cut them free.

Post-Shadow Milk influence, the Kids would have memory problems since the Beast would frequently mess with their heads and redact certain events. They’ll heal and gain things back, but they’re going to be very skittish at first. Strawberry is going to be so stressed she basically bursts into tears whenever anybody who isn’t Gingerbrave or Wizard looks at her.

The kids kind of go back to that survival mindset they had before escaping the Witch; “everything wants to hurt you, don’t give them the chance.” So they’re constantly huddled up in corners trying to make themselves as small as possible, trying to figure what to do. Where do they even go from here? What’s going to happen to them?

It’s scary. Luckily they’re surrounded by good cookies now.

#ask #orkuraoctoling #liar's circus

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aroaceleovaldez · 1 year

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Tumblr kept breaking when I tried to reply to the ask about this since the post is too long, so answering this here finally:

A non-comprehensive list of misc things I’d change in HoO, since apparently people wanted me to elaborate further (Re: [This post]). Semi-off the top of my head since I don’t feel like re-reading all of HoO with notations right now. Also this will be followed up by a Things I Would Change About TOA post as well at some point, since that was also requested and kept breaking, but my brain is exhausted from getting this post set up so that will wait. I will link it [here] when I complete it.

Going under a read-more cause it’s very long. Literally Tumblr crashed like three times while I was trying to answer the original ask:

As said before (and what is a given):

1. Goes without saying - fix all the distasteful offensive character descriptions/traits. Similarly, fix the whole "these characters inexplicably look down upon their cultures" cause that's stupid and it's really annoying every time one of the Argo 2 crew brings up something about their cultures only to immediately go "but THAT'S SILLY and WEIRD."

2. Remove Calypso from the active plot, rather than the current canon retconning that doesn’t work saying that she was never actually released from Ogygia like she was supposed to be. There's no excuse for why she wasn't, unless it's supposed to be the gods sent Leo to release her to fulfill that promise, but that's not really implied to be the case at all. There's no excuse for the Olympians to just go back on their promise, since Hephaestus is established to visit Calypso regularly and basically is her only friend. It isn’t the type of thing he’d let be overlooked given all the characterization we know about Hephaestus, and given they are explicitly friends it can’t be that Olympus just “forgot” either. Also Calypso doesn't actually add anything to the plot of HoO or TOA besides serving as a love interest for Leo (not even a motive, just a love interest that "fixes him,” because he already has motive in saving Jason from being the hero of the prophecy and helping save the Argo 2 crew/camp/etc from Gaea etc etc. Leo's romance arc completely derails the established depressive spiral/destructive character arc that's been set up for him and it basically ruins Leo's entire character. He's a tragic character! Let him be tragic until he's done being tragic and then the end of BoO and TOA can be him starting his recovery arc! (I have some thoughts for how Calypso could work removed from HoO but an active character in TOA but that’ll be for the TOA post.)

If Leo still ends up on Ogygia, then have it be clear that Calypso's already left and the island is abandoned (which imo is WAY more narratively compelling for readers of the first series, because you already know the context of the island, but for readers who don't have that context it leads to this being an interesting mystery - who was Calypso? What was this island and why do all the signs/notes left by her imply she wasn't always alone but usually was and was desperate to leave?) and Leo has to collect the scraps left behind to build an escape for himself while he goes through a fun identity crisis. At some point maybe Hephaestus shows up and Leo gets an interaction with his dad that probably does not help his identity crisis and then he goes back to the Argo 2 to have a further identity crisis about how the rest of the crew got along in his absence (a good identity crisis or a bad identity crisis? depends on how they did without him! you decide! I personally like "they managed okay" and Leo feels Really Horrible About That Cause It Feels To Him Like They Don't Need Him. I like Leo's tragic arc, okay? It's compelling.) Iirc Leo’s also the only member of the Seven who doesn’t get to have some kind of direct conversation with their godly parent, at least in-person, so yknow. It’d be nice to have. Also if you want Aro/ace Leo Valdez this is the perfect spot to put it while he's having his identity crisis on Kiss Kiss Fall In Love Island, or when he gets back.

3. Jason's stab wound in BoO is not healed by the Power Of Friendship, and instead they use the Physician's Cure for that so it doesn't feel like they're literally deus ex machina-ing their way to cheating death like 3 times in the same book. It makes more sense to use Potion Of Don't Die on Wound Of Excruciatingly Painfully Slowly Killing You instead of Whoops You're Already Dead, Just Get Better. Ctrl+Z That Real Quick.

Given they already used the Physician’s Cure on Jason, Leo doesn’t die/get revived at the end of BoO. Instead he just almost dies, probably lands in CHB’s woods somewhere, and is found and patched up with the series ending on him being on the mend and starting on the path to healing and getting help for his Numerous Issues that he was putting off for The Entire Series. Which parallels nicely to Nico basically having the same thing (overexerting his powers to near death, ends series getting medical treatment/being on the mend and the indication that he’s moving on to a happier period of his life). Again, grand happy ending rather than aggravating fake-out.

Further notes:

- Heavily tweak Ella's character cause I get what Rick was going for, but the execution is… not awesome! Please, there's already so much ableism in HoO just. hmm. We can do better.

- Jason and Piper break up in HoO, probably around MoA when they start seeing Percy and Annabeth interacting and after they’ve had time to hang out with each other and realize their arranged relationship is Kind Of Fucked Up, Actually. (Probably something something them having gotten to spend time actually getting to know each other between TLH and MOA while they’re both at camp.) They have no problems with each other specifically and do genuinely like each other, but it just gets really awkward given all the memory manipulation and being set up as a "picture perfect couple" - emphasizing stuff like them both being children of really famous movie stars in their universe, or Jason as a son of Jupiter/Jove (an "all-father" type god) [and Juno - mother figure goddess and goddess of marriage]/"son of Rome" and Piper as a daughter of Aphrodite (goddess of love, also Aphrodite/Venus indirectly is associated as a sort of "mother of Rome" due to Aeneas). They just feel like they have too many expectations being put on their relationship and even though they do both like each other it feels too forced for them, but they’re comfortable staying just friends. This just gives way more opportunity for low-stakes character conflict among the Argo II crew outside of Monster Of The Week Chapter so things don’t feel unreasonably busy and chaotic and we actually get some consistent development. Just a nice mini-arc to follow in the downtime. Also while we’re here, more directly establish Piper’s bisexuality earlier on. If she’s already having an arc where she’s contemplating her romantic life, throw in a couple of nods to like “Piper thinking about her old childhood crush on Shel, the kid of a family friend she’d see when her and her dad visited Oklahoma” or something. Literally anything just to establish some kind of set-up to her getting a girlfriend later. Just for consistency’s sake.

- Bunkernine has a very good post about wishing the Argo II didn't have the magic plates from CHB, which I agree with in concept. Like I was just saying, MoA through BoO lacks a lot of little moments where we get to really focus in on the characters, probably in part because Rick was struggling to juggle so many parties given this was his first foray into writing a major cast that size. We can definitely cut out a lot of the random unnecessary fights and dramatic moments that don't really do anything for the plot and instead replace them with little moments of casual life on the Argo II - the scenes like those that do exist in HoO are some of HoO's most memorable moments to me! And they'd help a lot with how the characters never felt fully and properly fleshed-out. Let them exist as a cohesive group without two-to-three of them being absent at any given time! I don't think we necessarily have to remove the magic plates entirely because they do solve a fundamental problem ("where are these kids getting food?") but like, there is nothing stopping them from still cooking and just using the plates to get ingredients! Let these kids bake or something! Even just for fun! Though also I have personal headcanons about the Argo II crew's cooking skills and I really like the concept of like, during HoH or something at like 3am everybody hears something and they all suspiciously shuffle into the mess hall. And it’s just half-dead Nico standing there in his PJs making food for himself because Dammit They're IN VENICE and he’s FROM VENICE and they DON’T HAVE TIME TO STOP AT HIS OLD FAVORITE RESTAURANTS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT STILL EXIST and he Hasn't Had A Proper Meal In Weeks so By The Gods He Will Make His Mom's Old Recipes At 3am before he keels over from this quest. He just stares at everybody and goes "What are you all looking at. go away." and the rest of the crew just shuffles away awkwardly and leaves him to it. (Is Nico’s 3am meal actually good? Who knows. It is left a mystery.)

- Tweak the god characterizations. Remove the "gods splitting" thing and maybe play more with different aspects of gods/verisons of gods across history/city-states/etc presenting themselves instead. The Roman gods are not wholly equivilent to the Greek gods and it's actually really interesting from a historical perspective, and I think there's a lot you could do with that but instead it gets flatted in HoO which is sad to me. Just generally though, with the god characterizations, like. [uncomfortable pagan noises]. Which is almost impressive because it is difficult to write the Greco-Roman pantheons poorly since a good portion of them are basically just very complicated metaphors turned into personifications and characters. So they work fine for narrative purposes when applied accordingly, and yet! and yet!! Rick managed it! He managed to really bungle it in HoO and TOA. Because instead of leaning into the aspects of metaphors and dynamic characters he just fell into 2D tropes, gimmicks, and stereotypes. Off the top of my head the only deities written Okay in HoO is like. Hades/Pluto and Thanatos. (even Chiron in TOA is extremely lackluster, it's sad.) In the first series it ranges from “okay” to “actually really interesting” so it’s sad to see that drop-off and I would like it to be fixed.

Some potential examples for this: Play with the historical ties combo of like, Athena, Minerva, Enyo, Bellona, and etc! Annabeth and Reyna parallels! if the first 2 books are about the trios, let MoA be about Annabeth and Reyna and both their connections to Athena(/Bellona). Let Reyna be a second half in the Athena prophecy! It'd be cool and fit with her thematically and would set-up the whole Getting-Blessed-By-Athena thing later in BoO and make that scene feel so much cooler!

- Also retcon the whole "Hestia appears as an 8 year old for no reason" thing. And maybe also Artemis only appearing as a teen, because while Artemis has a mythological excuse, Hestia doesn't, so it just feels weird and at worst comes off as a little aphobic (depicting a character who explicitly is uninterested in relationships/romantic love as a child despite them being an immortal god with no basis for appearing as a child or even being comparatively young to other gods) with how it relates to aphobic tropes about disinterest in romance being "childish".

- Remove the "no children of Minerva" thing. Also maybe emphasize the aro/ace vibes there cause Athena being implied to be the only ace character in the entire series who a.) isn't literally a child/teen nor appears as one, and/or b.) hasn't had an unfortunate relationship that makes them disinterested in romance, but also at the same time being the only one out of herself/Hestia/Artemis to have relationships of some sort (having kids, implied to possibly be romantic but unclear) issss bad! actually! Bad tropes, don't like that. (Again aphobic tropes of disinterest in romance being “childish” and something that can be grown out of, or a result of trauma. Also it feels weird that the only a-spec characters in the series are all women. Can we have a male a-spec character please.) Just let Athena be aro/ace and vibing and occasionally having brain children cause she can do what she wants and everyone is aware of this and chill with it (And being a-spec doesn’t mean she’d be disinterested in having kids). Also maybe make her feel less cold cause "a-spec character is cold and loveless" is also an aphobic trope that PJO!Athena falls into, actually.

- Speaking of aphobic tropes, fix the Hunters! Please. Please just redo the Hunters of Artemis entirely. Holy cow. I wrote up an entire alternate oath/rules set for the Hunt because it's just so weird and poorly done. There were male Hunters of Artemis in Greek Mythology! Multiple! And most of them were chill! The "swearing off all romance" thing is also questionable, because depending on what versions of myths you’re looking at it’s potentially implied the Hunters had romantic relationships among themselves. And in Greek Mythology all the Hunters were definitely not all pre-teens. And it feels especially bad that the only adult Hunters we ever see are explicitly ex-Hunters who are heavily implied to be not ace and definitely aren't aro and are also implied to have "grown out of" being disinterested in romance. (That gagging noise you hear is me being sick of how many aphobic tropes the Hunters are juggling).

The version of the Hunters i have written up is, and I quote (from my notes): "Hunters can be any age, species, and gender identity (so long as they are comfortable enough being occasionally referred to as “Huntresses,” “Sisters,” “Maidens,” and etc). Relationships between Hunters are allowed so long as it will not endanger/distract from the Hunt or endanger any other Huntresses. Having a child is not allowed within the Hunt and any Huntresses who wish to do so must leave (purely because having a pregnant person/young child on the Hunt is dangerous, and safety is the number one priority - especially as Artemis is a protector of youth and goddess of childbirth. Once they turn like, 12 they can join, that’s fine. Everyone knows middle schoolers are the optimal combination of bloodthirstiness and ability to wield a weapon)." Also, just as like, a side-thing, I wanna see a clear-sighted mortal Huntress, because we're told thats a thing but we never see them. Closest we get is like ancient semi-immortals and Technical Nymphs, or other Huntresses who are of unspecified mortal/demigod status.

- Similar deal - fix the Amazons. they're… better but still a little wonky.

- Some slight tweaks to the Cupid Scene - Nico still has a confrontation with Cupid cause that is a very compelling scene that works well for Nico's character and informs a lot about him (and serves a purpose in a very meta way - not so much for the plot but reflecting something the first series did occasionally which was a kind of showing an example of a situation, usually a negative situation that either mirrors or directly references a type of situation a kid may find themself in, and explains and shows sympathy for the character being hurt in that situation. Which is notable because the demographic for the series is young middle schoolers and particularly neurodivergent kids, who are probably approaching a lot of new social situations or may struggle with empathy. It acts as an introduction to “unfortunately this is a bad thing that happens sometimes, and it hurts people, which is why you should be nice to this kid. Look at beloved character. Here’s an elaboration on why they’re hurt so you can understand.” So for the purposes of that, the scene of Nico getting outed would likely remain, but it would still keep the very overt “WOW THIS SUCKS, THIS IS A BAD SITUATION.” stuff) Most of the tweaks are just slight adjustments to minor prelude dialogue and/or setting, like. Jason does not forget that being gay is a thing for a second. And etc. But Nico having a very literal metaphorical conflict about grappling with how he views the concept of love by LITERALLY GETTING KICKED AROUND BY THE GOD OF LOVE is actually kinda badass from a narrative analysis perspective. This is exactly what i meant in the previous bullet points about the gods in a lot of myths and classical stories playing the roles of personifications of metaphors and that being used well. Admittedly I'm 50/50 on tweaking Cupid's general attitude in the scene itself, because a more hostile Cupid lends itself better to the meta use of the scene as described before but a more sympathetic-to-Nico Cupid who is nonetheless still kicking the shit out of him is interesting from a metaphor standpoint (something something Nico overcoming internalized homophobia but in the very literal form of it’s the god that literally presides over protecting gay love [yes that is an actual thing Eros/Cupid is the god of] beating him up).

- Remove Reyna's “prophecy” entirely. It's stupid and pointless and doesn’t make sense with her character at all. Just say she's ace. There is not a single scene in any of the series that ever indicates that Reyna believes that she can only be happy if she’s in a relationship and that’s some kind of internal struggle she needs to overcome. The closest we ever get is Reyna being upset that her best friend disappeared and when he returns she finds out he had forgotten about her completely. Which does not apply to the “prophecy” at all. We just don’t need it.

- Absence of "a character" can work! Jason's lack of personality and backstory can work but it works best if it's absence is felt and properly explored. This works best if we get more information about Camp Jupiter from SoN and from the other Roman characters, especially Reyna (and maybe even Nico referencing his trips there!) because that inherently informs us about what Jason's life was like there. Have other characters note things about Jason and highlight the fact that this is absent from Jason's own POV! He's lost that part of his life! It was taken from him! That's such an interesting dynamic to have and explore! But we don't get any of that!

Side-note: Part of the problem with Jason's amnesia is that it feels so awkward especially compared to Percy's amnesia because we already know what Percy can't remember. We have the context that informs his character, even though he can't remember it, so that absence is felt and it feels really compelling! Also, Percy is unfamiliar with Camp Jupiter, and we're unfamiliar with Camp Jupiter, so it feels new and interesting (even though we don't actually get much about it so we never actually form any real attachment to it and that's a problem later on in every subsequent scene when we're supposed to care about what happens to Camp Jupiter but we. don't). The reason it doesn't work for Jason is because we don't know what's absent and we already know CHB. Jason also already knows about demigods and stuff, so if you're a new reader starting at HoO it just doesn't work. Because Jason already knows everything and we're being led from his POV primarily for that portion of TLH, and even Piper and Leo's backstories both heavily include being pushed around by Gaea/and or Hera/Juno, so if you aren't familiar with the universe you're just being hurried along and it ends up feeling weak. At least with Percy even if you don't know the contexts of his backstory, we can feel the implications of other characters referencing things about him extremely often, so you feel the weight of his memories being gone, and he doesn't know about the roman gods and you, the reader, aren't expected to know much if anything about it either. We don’t get the full demigod debriefing (but that's also the second book) but we at least get a Camp Jupiter debriefing. The first two books are a bit messy in those specific regards with setting up the camps for the series, and we don’t really see the camps much for the rest of HoO (except for CHB, of course).

This is personally why I stand by that if we ever get a roman series it should be a three-part series from Reyna's POV, because leading with Jason is basically like trying to lead PJatO with Annabeth - a demigod raised in camp and surrounded by the knowledge of this stuff their entire life. It doesn't work as a character who's acting as an introduction to this world for the reader. There's no real clean way to work that out for HoO unfortunately, since literally all our protagonists are given established pasts involving knowledge of Greco-Roman mythology being real and half of them are either already at camp or have been to a different camp. I'd say best solution would probably actually be leading from Piper for TLH and tweak her character set-up slightly in that she Does Not Know What's Going On At All re: Gaea and the Giants. She just knows Something Happened To Her Dad and she's the POV we follow into TLH, because that mirrors Percy in beginning of TLT well (with Sally being kidnapped)! It's a fun call-back for the old readers and a good lead-in for the new readers.

- Fix Nico backstory inconsistencies caused by Rick almost making his birthday in March and confusing himself over it. He's 12 in TLO, 13 in HoO. He was born January 28th, 1929, and got put in the Lotus Hotel and Casino in 1939 (If you wanna be cute, we can specifically say May 1st, 1939, to reference the musical). Hazel is one month older than him chronologically and one year older than him post-revival. Something something also smooth out the inconsistencies about Nico being raised in Italy and how Maria met Hades and stuff. Fill in the rest as you will.

- I do stand by that the entire PJO timeline is not one-to-one with the real world. That's always been a thing with the series. We're basically condensing everything from ~1998 to ~2020 into an 18 year timeline. We don't need to be exact with things. Don't get too bogged down with it.

- Make the whole "injuries caused by celestial bronze/imperial gold for demigods makes their souls self-destruct" thing specifically relating to cursed weapons/materials or feature some more volatile abomination combo weapons like Backbiter (with Backbiter being described as unstable due to being both celestial bronze and mortal steel). (Ex.: the spear used to stab Jason in BoO is just cursed, and maybe Octavian's catapult plan is a "well i put a bunch of mortal steel and imperial gold in a pot and melted them together a bit and now it really wants to explode so im gonna just chuck the entire thing and hope it kills everyone lots and lots <3" which is tbh significantly more dastardly and fucked-up, which makes Octavian a bit more compelling). Having it just be a plain trait of celestial bronze/imperial gold doesn’t make any sense and is only referenced like twice in HoO and never again in basically the entire three series. Again: consistency.

- Make a more prominent reference to the whole "btw there are retired adult Romans just living wherever but they're legally required to help any campers who request aid" thing, cause you could totally do something really fun and cool with that but idk what.

- PICK A THEME! First series theme was family! Second series theme is….. we don’t know! It felt like maybe a theme was intended at some point but we lost it. Forging a new life for one’s self/choosing your own path/etc could be a good theme, or something similar. or found family. or both. We’ve got a bunch of characters absolutely ripe for “I didn’t think i’d get this far and now I have to like, actually consider what i want to do in life. huh” arcs! (Frank! Leo! Hazel! Jason! Percy! Nico!) Do something with that!

- Lean more into the characters having aspects inspired by myths, or legends being mirrored in plot points: 7 against Thebes, the Argonauts, etc etc etc. The first series leaning into it heavily worked really well! More of that! HoO and TOA suffer a lot from lack of mythological basis to lean their plots on, despite there being plenty to work from. It instead just kind of messily mashes random misc myths (haha, alliteration) together into a very incoherent plot. Annabeth is known to be explicitly based off Atalanta, Percy is mostly based off Perseus and Theseus, Leo has loose connections based off of Demophon of Eleusis and possibly also his brother Triptolemus, etc etc. There’s stuff to work with! Poke around at the mythological figures of the original Argo and maybe match them up a bit (though most of the Argonaut myths were used in Sea of Monsters, so focus more on the figures/archetypes rather than just exact myths of what they did. For more plot-things, maybe consider Seven Against Thebes, though admittedly the plot of that is just Kinda Depressing.)

- Slightly related to that - lean into Piper presumably mirroring Orpheus! Or even if she isn’t supposed to, let her do that, because it fits with her thematically SUPER well. Her charmspeak is OP and that needs to be appreciated. In canon she brings Jason back from the brink of death in TLH and just straight up gives Festus a soul/free will/sentience. Let her go Orpheus-mode on everybody. You can even tie that in with the half-hearted snake theme that Rick tried to throw in there that didn’t work at all. We can make this work, just lean into it. It’ll be fun.

- Remove scene of Nico confessing to Percy at end of BoO. it’s just. random and feels sudden and OOC. Give Nico time. You could maybe replace it by having him come out to Reyna on his own terms while they’re on their quest discussing their adventures thus far and them having a very sweet little emotional moment rather than it being a weird out-of-place afterthought comical scene.

- Remove Bob and Damacus. They’re just half-literal dues ex machinas for Percabeth in Tartarus that don’t make sense. It feels extremely cheap and doesn’t fit with the established mythos of either figure (and Bob feels extra awkward without the context of knowing Sword of Hades). If they do run into a figure who helps them out in Tartarus, Arke could possibly be a good option - especially since in SoN Percy meets Iris. There’s a lot potentially you could do there with Percy mistaking her for her twin and stuff like that. If we want a figure to more-so take the role that Bob fills (Nico encouraging an immortal to be sympathetic to Percy and thus indirectly helping him later) that role could be filled by Nyx instead of making her a minor antagonist - imply Nico encountered Nyx in Tartarus or something and she took pity on him as someone who also understands the dark, and he told her about Percy and so Nyx is willing to help Percabeth escape. Plus imagine how COOL a Nyx & her children vs Tartarus/Titans/Giants fight would be. That’d be a significantly more memorable scene than the Tartarus fight scenes we did get. (“Why would Nyx help though?” One of Nyx’s kids is LITERALLY a goddess of friendship [Philotes], we have excuses.)

- On a similar note, this is more of a TSATS thing, but for goodness’ sake STOP THROWING CHARACTERS INTO TARTARUS. You’re overusing it! It only works when we use it sparingly! In fact, just in general Tartarus works better the less we see of it! Nico going through Tartarus once in SoN-MoA, yes, that works! Especially since we have almost no idea what happened to him down there, just that it was Terrifying and Horrible and he Barely Survived. Not going into much detail means we get more out of it. The only exception to that really was when Percy realized that Nico saw Tartarus as it truly was the entire time, because that’s one hell (ha) of a punch to the gut in terms of added information! Percabeth falling into Tartarus in MoA? Eh, fine, sure, because we’ve established that Nico (who is implied to be more resilient to that environment on virtue of being a child of Hades) talked about his experiences down there so they know what to expect and how to survive. Though it does kind of just feel like Rick went “Oh wait hey I can use this to make angst!” and then overused the hell out of it. It feels way weaker in general in HoH because of how much detail we get, because Tartarus has been built up so much until that point that literally anything we get will feel lackluster in comparison, especially with how it kind of feels like Percabeth just. breezed through it with little more difficulty than they’d usually face on their quests. Solangelo jumping into Tartarus in TSATS is honestly just a blatant “Oh boy we can make Solangelo into Percabeth 2!” and it doesn’t work at all because NICO HAS ALREADY BEEN TO TARTARUS.

The only way you could make Nico going into Tartarus two times work is if he fell into Tartarus a second time to replace Percabeth falling down there. Because we’ve established he knows what it’s like down there, he survived it once, and he is actively sparing someone else he cares about from suffering his same fate. And then he can return once again even closer to death and A Little Fucked Up and it turns into a rule of threes where we know “Oh, Nico can’t go back to Tartarus again because if he does he’ll Lose Himself Completely” which is way more interesting than romance angst for the sake of romance angst. Especially since again, we don’t see it, it’s all only implied. Also it then also turns Tartarus into even more of a “Nico is probably the only demigod who could ever even hope to survive Tartarus” which keeps Tartarus as an ominous thing. Percabeth falling into Tartarus lessens that by a lot because it implies that it doesn’t matter that Nico is a child of Hades; that had absolutely no bearing on his ability to survive down there. TL;DR: Stop throwing characters into Tartarus. Either throw Nico in twice in a row and no Percabeth or Nico and Percabeth once only and never touch it again.

- More heavily set up Percy’s emotions/mood/etc being influenced by water around him. If we keep most of Percabeth in Tartaurs, then this would really make the Achlys scene pack a bigger punch. Up until HoH everything is “oh how quirky” but the minute Percy’s surrounded by the rivers of the underworld and the acid/poision you get hit with the “oh shit” realization that Percy Is About To Get SCARY.

- Maybe have Annabeth keep her blindness from Tartarus, or trade Jason having glasses to her having glasses as a result of that, since vision is actually an aspect of Athena so it kind of fits her more, thematically-speaking.

- Change the judo flip percabeth scene in MoA to Annabeth picking Percy up and spinning him around in a hug/swinging him into a dip cause that’s cuter, makes more sense given Percy’s PTSD, and still highlights Annabeth being very strong and showing off in front of the Romans while they’re still being lovey-dovey.

But also, related to that, you could potentially make a sub-arc for Percabeth throughout HoO (so that they actually have like. some type of character development that fits them rather than them feeling stagnant the entire time) about Annabeth learning she doesn’t know as much about Percy as she thought (learning about Gabe [since as far as we know she actually doesn't know much if anything about that!], seeing his behavior change with different types of water, etc) kicked off by the judo flip scene, and possibly vice versa (Percy learning more about Annabeth’s time spent traveling with Thalia and Luke, growing up at CHB, her relationship with Athena and other campers at CHB, etc) so they gain a deeper understanding of one another. If Percy keeps his curse of Achilles, that could also factor in (contrasting Percy’s “perfect” image [relationship, near-immortality] against Annabeth realizing she doesn’t know as much about Percy as she thought [could also parallel that dynamic to Jaspiper, which opens opportunities for Annabeth/Piper and Jason/Percy bonding] [Or Annabeth/Jason and Piper/Percy bonding! I want more Annabeth/Jason and Piper/Percy parallels so bad. They’re almost there but we never get them. Please.]/ the Argo II crew learning about Percy’s past) with Percy being more prone to seek out conflict or solve problems with violence due to the Curse of Achilles and eventually recognizing that [possibly after Tartarus] and it scaring him just as much as it frightens Annabeth. Maybe at that point Percy tries to make some sort of deal to rid himself of the curse.)

- Maybe also explicitly parallel Percy getting the curse of Achilles with Nico’s help to Poseidon giving his lover Caeneus iron skin. There’s no really smooth way to do it, but maybe even just a during Nico’s pov him going “I heard about this myth once and got an idea. It didn’t work.” Just for that added through-line of connecting the series and further establishing “yeah, no, Nico’s been gay this whole time. this isn’t a new thing. we aren’t pulling this from thin air.”

- Give Piper a different weapon than the knife from the beginning cause she stops using it eventually anyways. Also just... no cornucopia. That part is just stupid and there’s no point for it. If we have to keep it as a plot object, give it to someone else - Nico could work because then there’s actually at least a valid relation there regarding his godly parent (yes, Pluto sometimes has cornucopia associations). Also Nico having a cornucopia would be kinda funny in a subversion of expectations thing. Maybe even have Nico go on a little exposition-y rant complaining about Hades/Pluto versus Plutus (the Greek god of plenty/wealth, later merged with Pluto).

- Similarly, either remove Diocletian’s scepter (if we have multiple characters who can boss around skeletons, why do we need an entire separate extra object whose sole purpose is to let them boss around skeletons?) or let Nico keep it but it loses its abilities, so it’s literally just “well now he has a cool bashing stick for bashing things.” Or let him use it as a cane to highlight him being disabled!

- As I slightly touched upon in a previous bullet point, give Piper more connections to her dad’s community in Oklahoma - where’s all her family friends? Tristan is a major pop culture figure in the Riordanverse, so it’d make sense that people from the community he grew up in would like. know him? But all we ever hear about is Piper’s Grandpa Tom. Even though apparently Piper is already good enough friends with Shel presumably before Piper moves to Oklahoma that the two start dating soon afterwards. Heck, again, have Piper reference Shel specifically. Just at any point. For any reason. Just to establish that she knows people her own age that exist outside of CHB.

Similarly, flesh out the background Romans in Camp Jupiter more in SoN and possibly also BoO, particularly the ones Jason references by name but we never see anything of, besides at most maybe more background references. Highlight them either through the SoN trio interacting with more characters while at camp (and we’re left to glean specific details of Jason’s past through others, which would make Jason more compelling and how these details are absent from himself but present to those around him, playing into his memory loss more) and possibly also through Reyna (and maybe Nico)’s POV(s) in BoO. (And maybe if we get a Reyna POV in MoA, then there as well).

- Let Reyna use magic! We establish that she studied under Circe and then never see anything come of that other than referencing her Tragic Backstory™. It could be a fun point for Reyna and Hazel to bond over, even!

- Remove the random “Hunters of Artemis death fodder” scene with Orion in BoO. There’s no reason for that. It’s just kinda dumb and feels bad given it’s basically just “We’re gonna kill a bunch of nondescript allegedly a-spec coded characters now for no reason. <3” like ???. That served no purpose. It just felt weird.

- Also just as a like, logistics thing - change the route Team Statue takes in BoO from the huge jump over the Atlantic into Peurto Rico into them traveling up into like the UK, then over to Iceland and Greenland and then Canada and down the east coast rather than the huge jump and up the east coast. The smaller jumps make more sense given the entire POINT of their quest taking as long as it does is that Nico can’t make extremely large shadow-travel jumps at that time. Plus if they’re traveling south then they could pass through Maine and we could maybe cameo Nico’s old school and that’d be fun. The pit-stop in Puerto Rico doesn’t really give us much that we couldn’t have just gotten from Reyna explaining it anyways. If they pause in Maine that can be where Nico and Reyna have a heart-to-heart about their tragic backstories and past experiences with horrible ghosts that they had to exorcise.

- If Team Statue travels a northern route we can make jokes about Nico learning specifically 1930s British English before he moved to America. The gang goes to London and Coach proceeds to incessantly make fun of Nico for not only using British slang, but using OUTDATED British slang (which is made weirder given he doesn’t have a British accent).

- Also extremely tiny detail but a specific acknowledgement that Piper was helping out Nico once they got back to the ship when Nico’s getting rescued from the jar. Since Piper just kind of drags him off-screen. Just any kind of follow-up to that. Like Nico doing his classic “You were vaguely nice to me. I would now Die For You.” Just them having basically any kind of interaction or acknowledgement of that scene, mostly cause I think it’s funny.

- Let Annabeth keep her laptop, and get rid of the sphere of Archimedes cause it just feels kinds pointless and random? We don’t really have any emotional connection to Annabeth’s laptop (and her hat gets replaced in Demigods & Magicians anyways) so her losing it doesn’t really feel impactful at all. Maybe have Leo use Annabeth’s laptop while she’s in Tartarus and that acts as the point of guilt for him rather than weird random curse stuff with a random new introduced object. Instead of “oh no fortune cookie thing or whatever” it’s him feeling guilty he saved Annabeth’s laptop but couldn’t help Annabeth herself. Especially since Leo would also have his Ogygia identity crisis in the same book so he can feel extra bad about himself for a bit, to lead up to his role in BoO nicely (sometimes a character negatively spiraling is more narratively compelling than them having positive development for the majority of the series and that’s okay! Let him be tragic but again he gets a happy ending and an implication post-BoO that he’ll begin a road of healing/recovery surrounded by loved ones. It works out.) AND there could be a very sweet moment once Annabeth gets back from Tartarus and Leo gives her the laptop back and it’s a huge relief to her that one of her prized possessions was in safe hands while she was gone and that she has it back when she thought she might have lost it.

- Further highlight Jason’s whole Greek/Roman/etc identity crisis. Bonus points if we go further into acknowledging Jupiter/Zeus’s epithets and roles and Jason having some epiphany that the Romans look to him with the expectations of Jupiter/Juno as king and queen of the gods making him some kind of perfect leader, but he’s not that at all. He’s the son of Jove and Juno, father and mother of the gods. He doesn’t want to be a general or praetor or anything like that, he wants to spend time with his friends and family at a summer camp where they’re safe. He wants to regain the childhood he lost being raised as a perfect soldier and get the chance to go to school and learn about his long-lost family and do cheesy summer camp activities. He is a wolf but he is not a creature built for the hunt - he is part of a pack.

- Touched upon it briefly in a previous bullet point but Curse of Achilles can stay/go, does not particularly matter to me either way. I do think it’d be funny though if Percy does keep the Curse of Achilles that he also randomly gets the Nemean Lion’s pelt back. Initially maybe as like a gift from Hera/Juno to help him cover his Achilles’ Heel while he’s running around with no memory just as insurance so he doesn’t die (with bonus points of the Romans being introduced to Percy either wearing the stupidest looking coat ever or wearing just a straight up bullet-proof lion’s pelt, which would even further solidify his “Are We Sure This Guy Isn’t A God In Disguise” vibes). But then later on into the series it’s just kind of part of his outfit or maybe even a running gag. The praetors have their magic bullet-proof cloaks, Percy has a very silly looking bullet-proof fur coat that is sometimes a whole lion.

- Keep Hazel’s blackouts. There’s not really a reason for them to disappear altogether for her? They’re somewhat tied to her powers and are a consequence of her coming back from the dead, which also helps keep the concept running in the series that death is a consequence that can’t just be easily evaded, even while we’re operating with the Doors of Death being open. That way future deaths in the series don’t feel like they could be as easily negated/avoided. Also, Hazel is disabled! This is a disability of hers! Why are we somehow magically getting rid of it without even an explanation as to why? Heck, if we’re getting rid of Piper’s knife, Hazel’s dreams when she has her blackouts could be used to supplement the dagger’s insight into the future, since we’ve already established that Hazel gets prophetic dreams sometimes anyways. Also fun thematic matching for the Death Sibs with them both having disabilities and random ways to glean the future (Hazel’s blackouts, Nico talking to ghosts). Her blackouts would probably improve slightly over the course of the series but never fully disappear, and it ends up mostly a thing of she can tell when they’re about to occur and prepare quickly for that or let someone know before she passes out.

- Get rid of Frank’s curse in SoN instead of waiting until The Tyrant’s Tomb. If we’re going to get rid of it eventually anyways, do it during the big scene of him freeing Thanatos. Let him have his cool big moment of embracing his destiny and that breaking the curse the first time he does it rather than him doing it twice but it only breaking the curse the second time? Also if the curse is broken earlier on then Frank’s entire arc gets to be about him realizing he has a life to live, since in SoN a major part of his character is that he’s not afraid of death because he’s used to the idea that his curse could kill him at any point. He’s actually pretty reckless for the beginning of HoO because of that. If he realizes that he no longer is at risk of dying at any given moment because he thought about candles too hard, then that opens the opportunity of him having a whole existential crisis about what he actually wants to do with his life and him looking to the future for once.

Bonus opportunity for this - maybe Frank actually gets fire powers as a result of his curse breaking. Ares/Mars has an association with fire so it would fit for him as a son of Mars. Plus, then we could also have an even more overt dynamic of Frank and Leo acting as each other’s parallels and foils and the two of them slowly growing more used to one another and actually becoming close friends. Lots of bonding over getting used to their fire powers and overcoming their mutual fears of fire and probably also solidarity in having lost their moms. Just - the boys are bonding! The boys are bonding. Fire boys hours.

- Related to Frank’s curse, give Hazel and Frank parallel narratives of them realizing they have a future ahead of them (Hazel re: getting a second chance at life and Frank re: realizing he’s no longer at risk of spontaneously combusting) and them grappling with trying to figure out what they want to do with their lives and how they want to live them after everything is said and done. And also being motivated for once to make it out the other side in one piece because they’re determined to not waste the opportunity they’ve been given. The two of them coming to terms with realizing they have a future if they can make it through this (which is also a fun contrast to Leo and Nico actively almost sacrificing their own lives for others and having essentially an opposite character arc for the majority of the series).

- Especially while Frank (and Hazel) are having these arcs, going back to the idea of Leo getting stuck on Ogygia alone for a bit - very strongly contrasting the arcs of Frank’s mental health improving over the series while Leo’s is very steadily decreasing (until BoO at which point again the series ends with Leo getting help and beginning to improve/heal).

- Also further emphasizing Leo and Nico’s parallels throughout HoO. They’re both autistic on top of the usual adhd/dyslexia and have issues with social interactions and care a lot about Hazel and are having a majorly bad time throughout the entire quest and are pretty depressed, etc etc etc. Again, parallel narratives at the end of BoO with them healing and things looking up for them - I think I’ve mentioned that like four times now you get the idea.

- Make Frank ADHD/dyslexic. There is literally no reason for him not to be and him being the outlier for being neurotypical feels weird and doesn’t fit with the literal entire worldbuilding we have for demigods. If it’s part of “demigod instincts” or whatever then Frank should be ADHD/dyslexic! And it’s not even a “the Romans aren’t ADHD/dyslexic” because we’re explicitly told they are! They are specifically also ADHD and dyslexic! So why isn’t Frank? There’s no reason. It annoys me.

- The Frank/Hazel/Leo “love triangle” can stay but it’s significantly more one-sided. Frank is mostly just intimidated by Leo for multiple reasons (mostly fire-related reasons) and Leo is mutually intimidated by Frank (because Frank is bigger than him and Leo is scared of everyone, really, but especially people who are bigger than him, because they could beat him up. Which is basically everyone). Hazel is not romantically interested in Leo and Leo is not romantically interested in her, though they are very close and do have a very confusing time trying to figure out the whole Sammy situation. Frank still misinterprets this as Hazel and Leo being romantic. Leo does not realize Frank is misinterpreting that as them being romantic and think Frank just hates him for the general reasons that Leo has found people usually hate him for no reason over. Leo wants nothing to do with that situation though. Eventually they all sort it out and become a very strong trio.

- Again as I briefly touched upon before, maybe give Reyna a protagonist role in MOA if not an outright POV. Probably an outright POV, with the main POVs of the book being her and Annabeth. Again, themes of historical associations between Athena and Bellona and playing with that, alongside making Reyna more of a prominent player earlier on in the series and letting us see more of the Romans. Use this opportunity to heavily parallel her with Annabeth (and also highlight her parallels with Percy, and Annabeth’s parallels with Jason).

- Really I just want more Annabeth/Jason and Percy/Reyna parallels. There’s so much you can do there. The blond(e) gifted kid/smart aleck raised at camp and their best friend, the former newbie raised with a difficult home life. Percy and Reyna both have dogs (Mrs. O’Leary / Aurum and Argentium) and pegasi (Blackjack and Skippy). And a sibling they don’t see often (Tyson / Hylla). You could have notes about Jason and Thalia and Annabeth and the dynamics within that and how those internally parallel each other. Or more about when Reyna encountered Percy and Annabeth while on Circe’s Island. Really anything more about Reyna’s time on Circe’s Island. Heck maybe you could parallel that to Percy’s difficult time in school, since Circe’s whole thing was that she was training the sorceresses living there, so that’s kind of like a school environment. Paralleling first quests between Reyna and Jason with the events of the first series with Percy and Annabeth. Etc. etc. etc.

- We are taking BoO and just. Throwing it out the window, really. We don’t have time to unpack all of that. Just start mostly from scratch, same extremely rough overarching elements are there.

- Also actually just. Rework the whole main prophecy too while we’re at it. It kinda sucks. It’s just kind of a weak prophecy. “To storm or fire the world will fall” or whatever; we can do better. I don’t have the brain power to write a better prophecy right now but just [see my recent post] for notes about what I think makes for a good prophecy in the series and why the main HoO one is kinda lame.

Footnotes:

Again, I will be following this up with part 2 electric boogaloo: Things I Would Change About TOA* (*That I can say without spoiling Deadangelos too much) at some point and I will link that when I make it. If you made it this far, gold star.

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asukaskerian · 14 days

Text

monthly word count - april

TOTAL: 4 604 low but on the upside i plotted out and got started on the last chapter for cherry wine's capital arc, FUCK yes finally. X_X

POSTED: nothing new! a battlefield terra scene languishing in my files since 2017 tho.

IN PROGRESS -cherry wine - madatobiizu ABO chapter 10 (1 548 words) -bleach suburban ot4 (2 553 words) -bleach: attempt at one of my unusual inheritances prompts that swiftly died on me (503 words) (if you ever think "oh it's such an obvious plot i will remember for sure" THAT IS SATAN LYING TO YOU.)

-- cherry wine (short bcs spoilers everywhere) --

Then they were approaching the well-lit area before the hall where people milled around, and the brouhaha covered the edge of their voices, as Madara asked, "So, what did you do?"

"Mm, nothing too extreme. I merely felt regretful that I couldn't keep Yukiha-san company, so I... referred her to some."

Madara's eyebrows quirked dubiously.

"The pink kind."

"--Pfhah."

He'd done a little more than that, really. When he'd asked the Haruno girls what they thought about hatesex (in favor; spicy), and their ability to convince a very horny, grumpy, desperate kunoichi to let herself be bedded (very high; just had to challenge her superiority), he'd also asked them for the favor of their alpha brother's sweatier underclothes, to plant in her bedroom afterwards. They would have a fun couple of weeks waiting to be certain she wasn't carrying a bellyful of civilian bastards.

-- suburban ot4 --

Nelliel rolls like a beached whale, morose and defeated. Her phone keeps containing nothing of interest.

Tier of course hasn't contacted her directly since their last in-person meeting, because she doesn't believe in chatting up ex-girlfriends. Especially because her current girlfriends are jealous and threatened somehow, even after Nelliel told them about getting knocked up by Grimmjow.

They all think she has shit taste in men, see, but they don't doubt her taste in women is more refined.

Her only recent messages are from Grimmjow and Hime.

... Her most recent message is from Hime! Right now! Ohh, she was letting things settle a bit before she started hounding her in case the Kurosakis wanted space, but!

Hime-chan: Nel-chan, hello! Are you here?

She wants to talk! Live! Right now!

Me: yes!!!!!! :D :D :D hi! what's up?? Hime-chan: #^__^#<3 Hime-chan: oh, nothing much! I was just wondering if you're busy or maybe if you would want to go out for a walk? I was going to take kazui and go check out that new pastry shop and i thought, that's not too far from where you are and maybe you're not too tired to go? Me: YES let me get dressed. Hime-chan: but if you don't feel up to it then take care of yourself Hime-chan: !! oh, great! Give us a half hour? Me: yeeeeeeeessss ill be waiting downstairs SEE YOU SOON

"Hot date, eh?"

Nelliel gives her boyfriend the crazed stare of don't get in my way. "Oh fuck yeah. With Hime and the kid. I am going to get so many cuddles."

He laughs at her. "Want me to clear out in case you get them to come home with you for coffee while you're at it?"

"... Nah. You can stay and babysit."

Grimmjow plants his hand on top of her skull and swings her right and left, then shoves her back down onto her pillows. She yowls in protest, grabbing his wrist to haul herself back up. "Stop that, I have to shower and get dressed! I can't meet Hime if I stink!"

"But you're fine stinking for me, I see how it is." He drags her to her feet, an amused half-smirk on his face.

"You're a gross boy, though. Hime is fresh and cute and sweet. She's not into salty."

Grimmjow smirks even wider. "Oh, she's into all sorts of crazy shit. Made me a herring and ice cream sandwich once."

"... I kinda want to figure out what exactly this means in our sexy metaphor but I'm going to be late." Nelliel leans in to give him a cheek kiss and a semi-friendly headbutt and scampers off to the bathroom. "I've got a daaaate!"

"A friendship date!"

"Guys who don't have a date don't get to piss on my parade!"

-- ichigo and sisters, odd inheritance -- fic disappeared on me and left me without notes, idk if i'll ever figure out what to do with it --

Ichigo has been eighteen all of two months when he finally manages to get 1. custody of his sisters and 2. access to his inheritance.

It's fast. Really fast. Dad's lawyer friend was cutthroat and very prepared.

(Even if the guy looks so dubious and scruffy--)

Ichigo has been living in a group house on his own for seven months by then, and he knows the clinic wasn't completely paid off, and he knows it's been sold on -- all their personal effects are in storage, in a truck, in the truck the lawyer friend got him and the lawyer friend's even odder friend taught him to drive and he is never going to manage to repay them--

Anyway.

"Is this it?" Karin asks, dubious.

Karin and Yuzu are crammed together on the passenger's seat, and they peer at the actual goddamned mansion looming at the top of the hill with the exact same dubiousness Ichigo feels. It's an european style, but from a century back at least, and wasn't exactly maintained well. He's not sure why Mom hung onto it instead of selling it off, but maybe there were no buyers. There used to be a village nearby but now there's two rickety houses and some farmland, mostly woods, and the house stands on such a slope that cutting down the trees to grow anything else would be completely pointless.

On the other side of the ridge is, apparently, the sea, but about fifty meters of cliffside down. No beach access either. Sigh. Whatever.

"I'll unlock the gate!" Yuzu exclaims, and pops out of the cab, legs wobbling on landing from the drive. The rusty noise as she pushes it open is, uh. Bad.

"Home sweet home," he grumbles as he drives the car through the gate.

Making it livable is going to take so much work.

But the roof isn't leaking and the heating and water still work, and miraculously one of the wings has failed to get infected by mold. So. It will do.

The first night they camp together in one of the living rooms, and it's nice. (Yuzu cries openly over being reunited, Karin cries while telling her not to cry, and Ichigo somehow manages to wait until they have fallen asleep.)

They don't really know what happened to their mom's family or why she has a hugeass house fit for like ten or fifteen very antisocial people that nobody else had a claim on. The way Kurosaki Masaki spent their childhood dodging the topic like an olympic slalom medalist had been read as 'it was Bad and Ungood but now it's OVER move along hahaha'. So of course, "If one of our grandparents is haunting this dust pile and they don't wait until tomorrow to bug us, I will throw their tablet in the sea," Karin was muttering, half as a joke, before she finally laid down.

It's five AM and Ichigo isn't laughing.

Of course there are ghosts. Anywhere he goes there are ghosts.

#teaser #ABO quest

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hellolulu · 2 years

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MAN Shigeo has grown.

[WARNING Another long post about Mob Psycho 100. Contains spoilers for s3 of the anime]

In season 1 any small situation was cause for a sudden +30% or more, and any danger immediately overwhelmed him and put him straight to 90%-100%. He was so easy to upset and anger, and we know that's because a. he's a teenage boy, b. he's not like the other kids, and c. he was always subconsciously trying not to feel anything, so as to not cause anyone any trouble. And anyone who has ever done this knows it is absolutely the best road to destruction.

Then in season 2 he started thinking more about himself - his place in the world and what he wanted. Accordingly, his % climbs (though still fast) were smaller, or at least took a longer time before hitting 100%. He had more control over his feelings but was still easily overwhelmed or swayed by the thoughts and feelings of others.

I think something that goes a little unnoticed is that during season 2, when he met Mogami, who was stronger than him and technically won their battle (but technically he gave up to Mob's ideals instead, which definitely impacted Mob's thought process of "I can help people by talking to them" which he never gives up on) - he learned an extremely interesting and unnoticed lesson from the guy; sure, he re-learned that he loves his friends, aw, but also, he learned that he of all people is easy prey to become an evil spirit - I think that's a big reason he spends the whole season considering his own feelings more, enough to argue with Reigen, based on Mogami's story, but I can talk about that in another post or this will get REALLY long. He also met that spirit family and realised some spirits just Live Here, which definitely pushed him to question his ideals on spirits and people blah blah (this happened before meeting Mogami, in case u need the refresh, and once again, I can talk about this in more detail another time).

He also met Suzuki senior in season 2, someone that he felt he could have an equal fight with. He enjoyed the fight, and finally got to have a feel for his powers. For a moment, he stopped ignoring the extent of them, truly feeling his powers out and letting them be destructive, even if only for one battle (the manga readers will understand my deeper meaning that the whole story is literally teaching him how to handle the final arc, anime watchers hold onto your hats - it's Good.) He was grinning and having fun, fighting someone that could match his energy (until he couldn't aha Suzuki senior loser moment) but when he remembered the people who needed him to protect them, he calmed himself down. And he really did!! Underrated Shigeo moment! He remembered his goals and he refocused himself toward them after being carried away by his feelings for much much longer than ever before!! Boss energy!

So in short, he spent the whole of season 2 questioning what his powers really mean to him, how much they are a part of him, and how despite them, he can live as a person just like everyone else. He's discovered that it is possible to be an esper and a person, and he goes into season 3 balancing these two sides of his life much better.

And now we already see in season 3 (there are only 5 episodes so far as of writing this) that Shigeo is not only able to think coherently about how he feels, and able to contemplate on much more complex, abstract thoughts, but he's also consciously able to choose how he wants to express them. He uses his powers in a new way through the season, moving and thinking at the same time, confident in his powers AND the way he wields them (the first instance of his gentle-but-powerful power show was probably during the end of the separation arc tbh, using it on all the cameras and such in front of a big crowd of people - able to show his powers in front of people, knowing with confidence that he's in control of them. Again, I can elaborate later).

And geez, the things he's encountering in this season would have made s1 Shigeo climb to 100% in a heartbeat - Hanazawa earnestly trying to fight him again despite being his close friend; everyone he knows being brainwashed in a way that leaves them intact but makes him their enemy; Dimple trying to push him to fight while also pulling his punches - the complexity of these situations are things s1 Shigeo definitely wouldn't know how to deal with: season 1 mob would be a mess. And WHEW, he would NOT have been able to calmly move past Ritsu getting brainwashed (regardless of Reigen's impact on him, s1 mob would have handled it much worse).

But s3 Shigeo is out there, consciously trying to understand the situations he's encountering, his own feelings, and the complex feelings of those around him, figuring it all out while he's in the moment. The extremely slow incline of 1% at a time again and again throughout this episode (s3e5), is so new to see, but it proves that he's got himself handled, and it's a true testament to his growth! He's in control of his own actions and feelings now, because he knows with confidence that he won't use his powers to hurt people unless he makes the conscious choice to - and he knows when it's appropriate to fight, to talk, and to run. He won't hurt people because he chooses peace.

Man, just, he's grown so much from the boy who was afraid of losing control at any given moment, and I'm really proud of him. That's one cool protagonist.

Side note: I cannot WAIT for the people who haven't read the manga to see what's coming in the rest of the season - it's incredible and I'm already losing my mind with excitement.

#mob psycho 100 spoilers #mp100 spoilers #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #shigeo #shigeo kageyama #kageyama shigeo #mob #mp100 shigeo #mp100 mob #lulu on the mic #I'm proud of all the characters and I cannot WAIT to write a post about ritsu too #give me a character and I will write an essay #mp100 I love u #mp100 s3 #essay #mob psycho 100 essay #mp100 analysis

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toowolfdelusion · 1 month

Text

Qi Rong, the Ghost King of Mirrors - Pt. 1

Before we begin, I must thank @diedikind who incited me to create this meta! They also write good TGCF metas as well, so if you have the time please check them out! Another thing to note is that I am writing this meta using mostly the unrevised version as my main source material. While I have read the Fangxin arc in the revised version and seen tidbits of the changes done to his character, I may not be aware of them all, so please keep that in mind. Also, don't be afraid to correct me if I accidentally got my facts wrong!

I’ve been thinking a lot about Qi Rong lately. In particular about his prince name, Xiao Jing (小镜). It roughly means “Little Mirror”/“Little King of Mirrors” (as @diedikind pointed out in the notes of this post) and frankly? There’s no better name MXTX could have chosen, because when you really look at him, you know that, both as a narrative device and as a character, “mirror” is very much what he is. He serves as a foil to a good number of characters, but also reflects a lot of traits from his environment and people around him, not to mention his habit of literally copying others. This is all reflected on how much Qi Rong tries to have his own identity, but because he’s stuck in an immature mentality, refusing to grow up, he ends ups stuck in a “child” role, making it impossible to truly have an identity of his own. This is even lampshaded by Hua Cheng in the aftermath of the mecha battle as Qi Rong is “dying”, when he notes that there’s nothing really noteworthy about him, despite Qi Rong always working towards standing out from the others. There’s a lot to unpack about his mirror symbolism, so I cut it in parts. This one is going to focus on how he mirrors Xie Lian and the Kingdom of Xianle itself. This is also quite long, so don’t open “read more” unless you’re ready to read a big Qi Rong meta.

Qi Rong, Xie Lian and the Kingdom of Xianle

“I don’t need your help, not like this. Are you really avenging me? Or are you avenging yourself?” - Xie Lian, Chapter 26

The most obvious foil Qi Rong has is Xie Lian, the protagonist himself. His relationship with Xie Lian is by far the most important alongside Guzi, something that is made obvious with how obsessed Qi Rong is with him, a fixation that also mirrors Hua Cheng's and Jun Wu's (I will touch on this in on another part). The mirror symbolism already starts early on in his life, with him being immediately noted to be similar to Xie Lian when they’re children, and if I remember correctly his prince name was even given to him because of said similarity. Since childhood Qi Rong was already seen as nothing more than a “little mirror” of Xie Lian, and, after the lantern incident, Qi Rong himself (probably subconsciously) started to see himself as such too. From there, Qi Rong starts to project his entire identity and psychological needs onto Xie Lian. He’s never been a very well liked figure since he arrived in the castle, but that doesn’t matter, because Xie Lian is. He’s not a very accomplished person, but that doesn’t matter, because Xie Lian is. He may not be a god, but that doesn’t matter, because Xie Lian is. Unfortunately, this is two-street: he also views Xie Lian as a “big mirror” of himself. Someone insults Xie Lian? That’s seen as a direct insult to him too, so he feels entitled to beat them up, even when that’s not what Xie Lian wants at all. This is likely the main reason on why he hurt Hong-er (alongside of what was probably jealousy too, but that’s for another analysis for another day), lampshaded by Xie Lian himself: he saw Hong-er changing the course the God-Pleasing Ceremony as a sign of bad luck and an insult to Xie Lian, and therefore an insult to himself too, ergo, he’s entitled to hurt him, or, using Xie Lian’s words, “avenge himself”. Aside from himself, he also projects his dire need for a paternal figure onto Xie Lian too (this is better explained in this meta translated by @baiwu-jinji), viewing him as a source of power, safety and affection. In other words, everything Qi Rong wants to have and wants to be, he projects onto Xie Lian. That’s why Qi Rong was among the first to turn against Xie Lian after the walls fell: if Xie Lian fails, he’ll be viewed as a failure. If Xie Lian is a laughing stock, he’ll be viewed as one too. If Xie Lian couldn’t protect the kingdom (and by extension Qi Rong himself) from Yong’an, then that means he failed at the role he subconsciously put Xie Lian in: the role of a father. This is why his obsessive hatred towards Xie Lian is so singular, but, despite all that, Qi Rong deep down still craves his attention and understanding (another Jun Wu parallel - i will also touch on this in another part). He hates his “father”, but he still doesn’t give up that idea towards Xie Lian, even calling himself mockingly his “little brother”. This may be why MXTX made him force Xie Lian to take care of him and Guzi in the revised version instead of Xie Lian being the one forcing him to stay in Puqi shrine: no matter how much Qi Rong despises him, he still sees his cousin as his “caretaker” in a way. And this is just me theorizing now, but part of me thinks his lantern symbolism/aesthetic may be a way of mirroring the lantern incident, the moment that truly made him Xie Lian’s little distorted mirror.

We already went through Qi Rong’s point of view of their relationship, but the mirror symbolism doesn’t stop there. From both a narrative standpoint and Xie Lian’s point of view, Qi Rong serves as a little mirror of the Kingdom of Xianle itself. Being half-xianle and half-yong’an, he went through both worlds, and as much as Qi Rong denies his Yong’an half, he was just as shaped by his experiences there as when he was in the capital of Xianle. He’s been both the poor and abused kid from Yong’an (it was only in his first five years of life, but these years are very important in a person’s life), a scandal and sore thumb in his family tree, and he’s also been a privileged Xianle royal who abused his power to get what he wanted like so many other royals. Hell, Xie Lian himself tells us he probably became worse over the years by mirroring the King and the rowdy crowd he hung out with in his youth. This post made by @essekknits points out the fact that Qi Rong has always been mimicking and mirroring those around him, especially the ones he perceives as having power, without ever understanding the logic behind their actions, and this is something he keeps doing long after the fall of Xianle. Even after death, he continues to haunt Yong’an, being responsible for the Gilded Massacre, an event that contributed to the decline of the kingdom, a literal and metaphorical ghost from a bygone era that nonetheless is still felt. This is why MXTX making the confrontation between Qi Rong, Xie Lian and Lang Qianqiu in the Mausoleum in the revised version, complete with the later two, viewed as “enemies” of Xianle, being severely weakened there while Qi Rong had made the place a lair for himself, is a change I actually like a lot. He’s the personification of Xianle who even after death continues haunting both Xie Lian and Yong’an. This is why Xie Lian’s hatred for Qi Rong is very singular too: Qi Rong is a mirror of everything he hated about Xianle. He represents the cruel nobles who used their power for selfish reasons and the people who adored and revered him but constantly went against his wishes and then went on to betray and humiliate him once he couldn’t keep up with their expectations. Xie Lian was treated like an adult with responsibilities way beyond his age, being forced to grow up early, and Qi Rong putting him in a “fatherly” role encapsulates that. He often had to “parent” Qi Rong (something that ultimately failed) when no one else did despite being a child himself, just like how he became a god too early and had to attend to the needs of multiple people who put all their expectations on him. Even after Qi Rong's death, Xie Lian is still forced to clean up after his messes, from having to protect Lang Qianqiu from him, to having to seal him up after the Guilded Massacre, to ultimately ending up in a coffin for roughly 100 years because of his shenanigans. Even in the events of the current timeline Xie Lian was still forced to “parent” Qi Rong often when he was in Puqi Shrine.

(As a side note, one thing I found curious was Qi Rong begging for Xie Lian to save him as Hua Cheng was beating up in the mausoleum in the revised version, even wondering how Xie Lian could even let him in. It could be chalked up to pure entitlement and a complete lack of self-awareness on Qi Rong’s part (which it is), but I think it also illustrates very well the fact that, despite viewing Xie Lian as a failed parental figure, he still expects him to protect him like a father should. It can also represent the fact that, even after completely rejecting Xie Lian, he’s still somewhat viewed as the protector god of Xianle, despite being branded as a traitor.)

With this all being said, there’s one last thing Qi Rong mirrors with Xie Lian: his character journey. It’s not very noticeable at first, but it’s still there. Like Xie Lian, Qi Rong starts out as a prince who ends up falling from grace after his kingdom collapsed. In the same way Xie Lian is seen as the laughingstock of the heavens, Qi Rong is hated and viewed as a pure nuisance by most of the ghost realm. And while the circumstances are completely different, the thing that helped save Xie Lian in one of his lowest points, which was the genuine kindness of the Bamboo Hat man and his own kindness towards Hong-er/Hua Cheng, is also what made a better side of Qi Rong resurface: the genuine affection Guzi had towards him. Even in his worst moments, Guzi never gave up on Qi Rong, and I think this is what ultimately made him a bit better towards the end. (I will shut myself now about his relationship and mirror symbolism with Guzi because that’s for another part).

As pointed out in this post by @baiwu-jinji, something I think is worth talking about is that his relationship with Xie Lian is probably meant to mirror the obsessions of fans and antis towards celebrities. I may be wrong about this, but considering MXTX’s own experiences with these sorts of people, I have high doubts this wasn’t the intention, and she’s no stranger in writing characters with this sort of commentary (hello, Shen Yuan). This may be why he became more deranged in the revised version too. He’s probably meant to represent the kinds of fans who place all their self-worth and identity onto their favorite celebrities, acting as if they know them personally and attacking other people in their name (often against the celebrity’s wishes), sometimes even viewing them as quasi-parental figures in more extreme cases of parasocial relationships. These kinds of fans usually become enraged when the celebrities they love end up “falling from grace” in their eyes, and they usually go on to become the worst of haters, who keep on obsessing over said celebrity, but this time to bring them down, harass and humiliate them.

(As another side note, while I think Qi Rong is not a character made with love, I don’t think he’s meant to be a pure hate sink either. MXTX still went out of her way to humanize him enough, and she gave him a subtle character arc with Guzi, which I will talk about on another part of this meta. Hell, the mere fact that he has so many facets to talk about is a sign of good character crafting, and he’s not even a main character!)

#qi rong my beloved. i have so many thoughts about you #anyways. this is my first meta. i hope i was able to do him justice #tgcf #qi rong #xie lian #tgcf meta #heaven official's blessing

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