#but if you're going to use it to try to make other people conform to your desires

[ame-to-ame]

Rereading ayaka is in love with Hiroko senpai!!! Last time I read it I don't think it was finished/I didn't finish it but ack. Now I also want to be in love 😭😭😭

[genderqueerdykes]

if you are a trans man or masc, masculine nonbinary, genderqueer, genderfluid or other gender non conforming identity, masc gay, a bear, a butch, stud, or boi, or other masculine queer person and don't feel welcome in any queer spaces, you're not alone.

the communities both irl and online have become EXTREMELY hostile toward mascs and men to the point of straight up excluding us and changing their wording to justify their violent exclusion. from renaming nonbinary spaces to "femme & them" and "she+" spaces, to telling men & mascs that they would "Scare" the women and "nonbinary" folks just by being there, as if masculinity and manhood are inherently traumatizing to be around.

masculine and male nonbinary folks have it so hard- most nonbinary spaces are almost definitely women's spaces who also conflate womanhood with nonbinaryhood, and often times just view nonbinary people as confused women. we are not inherently traumatizing to be around: masc enbies need places to go. we are still nonbinary and still trans and still queer for fucks' sake

nonbinary has never and will never mean femme or woman-adjacent inherently. nonbinary means what it means: people who don't or refuse to adhere to the gender binary, regardless of what side it is. masculinity is included in this, femininity is not the only way to be nonbinary.

masc queers do not have to bend over backwards to try to be more feminine and thus "less threatening" in order to have places to go. that's dysphoric and just inaccurate to a lot of queer folks' identity and presentation. it blows my mind because it makes no sense, anyway, even within the gay community, hypermasculinity has been present and even sought after by some people who find it very attractive, twunks, hunks, bears... but between the periods in queer history people started viewing masc gay leathermen and kinksters as the ones who were responsible for spreading AIDS and thus removing them from pride parades,

AND the lesbian separatism moment picking up to remove butches & male & masc lesbians from lesbian spaces identity, paving the way for modern rdical femniism, we've only entered a downhill landslide of hating men and mascs and ultimately trying to erase us from the queer community entirely.

the queer community is not the "women & femmes community". the queer experience is broad and vast, it includes a wide variety of masculine and male experiences, as well as genderfluid, multigender, completely ungendered and other gendered experiences. the lesbian, trans, bisexual, nonbinary, gay and general queer communities aren't the "safe place to hide from men & mascs community" like estranged rdfems and terfpilled trans folk like to tell you they are.

this is the QUEER community and it includes ALL forms of queerness, masc, femme, butch, male, neutral, bigender, neutral, and all. he/shes and he/hims and he/theys and he/its and so on are just as much of a part of this communities as she/hers and they/thems. you can't cast a blanket of "inherently abusive" over all men and mascs and one of "inherently abused/incapable of being abusive" over all women and femmes because that just traps you in a fantasy land that doesn't exist AND it prevents mascs and men from getting the help, resources and community they NEED.

men & mascs are hurt and abused by women & femmes every day and we refuse to speak about them because we live under a white cisheteronormal patriarchy and have complaints about how that functions. the complaints are legitimate but assuming that all men and mascs are oppressing all women and femmes and that women can never be oppressive is a false as hell narrative that actively damages people.

enough is enough. this mindset is hurting people. it's leaving masc and male queers to be estranged, harmed and even dead. i care about you if you're being affected by this mentality and these behaviors. you deserve community, safety, and a sense of belonging, you do belong, even if we struggle to form our own spaces due to unjust hatred. we will do our best to band together and keep each other safe. we must

[cocoatonedcurls]

simplified manifestation 101 :))

hii! i thought I would post a beginner's guide to manifestation, for people who are still new to the idea of it/want a thorough, contextualised explanation 🤗

manifestation is not something people necessarily struggle with, however, grasping concepts about it and misconceptions surrounding it can make it a little difficult for those who are just starting out.

if I could simplify manifesting down to a single sentence, it would be:

"If you can believe it, you can have it."

it's really as simple as that, manifesting is all about believing 😇

I don't know if anyone else had this experience, but when I was a kid, around 7-12, I used to manifest without even knowing what it was; I would just believe that I was going to achieve something that was , there was no uncertainty about it, and then, I would! 🤩

(I manifested a spot in a competition abroad when I was 10 🫣)

Over time, as my confidence in myself faded, this occurrence would happen far less frequently which goes to show that its all about your confidence and belief 💥

This is gonna sound like something straight out of mlp 😭 but you just need to believe in urself and the universe will conform to allow everything you want to be yours 🙈

some basic guidelines

* CIRCUMSTANCE DOESN'T MATTER

no, it doesn't matter if you're trying to get an ex back, or win the lottery, or convince your parents (who've been putting it off) to get a dog. manifesting is taking your life into your own hands and controlling it. your life is a movie and you're the director of it.

now, majority of people get into manifesting when they are curious about manifesting SPs, but coincidentally, it is also the concept that people struggle with the most because of the concern of free will or circumstances, but really neither of those two things matter.

* DON'T GET AFFECTED BY THE 3D

the 4D is the dimension that allows you to live the life that you would live while having what you are manifesting. as long as you are aware of what you're manifesting, just visualise yourself living in this reality and feel all the emotions and fulfilment you would while living in that ideal reality, this will allow you to reach the state of having, which I will get onto later in the post

the 3D is the dimension you experience physically, but it does not get to dictate what is yours and what will be yours; that is what the 4D does, it controls the 3D, and lucky for you, you control the 4D!

if you're manifesting an SP and you see that person posting with another person of interest, don't start sulking and feeling sorry for yourself thinking that its over for you, that's shooting yourself in the foot. what you do is you think "that's cool, but they're happier with me", that way you're not getting affected by the 3d and conveying your message to the 4D, which will relay it back to the 3D, and then your 3D will conform to it.

* "EVERYONE IS YOU PUSHED OUT" & LAW OF ASSUMPTION

you see this saying, Everyone is You Pushed Out, a lot in the manifesting community, and it might seem like an intimidating concept but its something that you experience in your day to day life anyways 😦

for example, you know when you've heard something about someone which changes your perception of them, and suddenly their persona suddenly conforms to your changed perception? that's the law of EIYPO in action!

the Law of Assumption is essentially the same concept but in a more general state, like your life as a whole, eg. manifesting a better grade or job or paycheck 💸

however, the way I see it, the results of manifesting are the results of other people's actions. for example, if you're manifesting a better grade, you yourself are the person that your manifestations are affecting, you'll retain information better and apply your knowledge properly in a test; if you're manifesting a job, your manifestations are affecting the person who had the position before to move, and the person who is hiring to be inclined to hire you; and the same concept applies to when manifesting an SP, your manifestations are affecting your SP to have more positively correlated feelings towards you.

so you can use these concepts to help you in your manifestations, particularly in the SP context: if you believe that they are attracted to you, it'll only be a matter of time before they will be.

* THE STATE OF HAVING, NOT DESIRING

considering this is arguably one of the most important aspects of manifesting. it is what brings manifestations to fruition

in simple terms, there are two objective states of being when manifesting:

The state of having

The state of wanting

The state of having is what you experience when you allow yourself to live in the 4D (the 4th dimension, where your goals are reality) and feel the fulfilment that you would feel while living the life you are manifesting. Affirmations like "I am paid incredibly well", "That job is mine", "They are attracted to me" will help you in achieving this mindset. This feeling is your biggest helper when it comes to applying the Law of Assumption/EIYPO in practice! It is you knowing you have what you want and allowing the universe to do the rest for you.

The state of wanting is when you are stuck feeling like you still crave what you are manifesting, not feeling like it is secured in your possession. This can leave you plateaued and doubts can slow down your manifesting. Affirmations like "I will be paid well", "That job will be mine", "They will be attracted to me" pose the question 'WHEN?'

Now don't take this as a, "If I doubt, my manifestation won't come true" because we all have doubts, even the greatest manifesters, but what is important is that your doubts do not stop your state of having being affected. As long as in the 4D you know it is yours, the 3D will conform to make it yours.

Here's a quote that helps me acheive the state of having

"You want it so badly because you already have it in the future"

simplified tutorial :)

many people have the question, "how?"

there isn't any set way, but honestly, the state of having is the essence of manifesting, if you can remain in the state of having, you can achieve your goal.

now that isn't to say that if you're not in that state, thinking about it 24/7, your goal wont manifest, but rather, if in the background of your mind, you have a feeling of knowing it is yours and not panicking about it, it will happen.

if someone asks, "hey, what's your job?" you'd reply with your current job, but in your mind you'd know that your dream job was what you actually worked as. this example highlights the difference between the 3D and the 4D and how not to let your 3D affect your state while still living in the 4D.

techniques like robotic affirmations, visualising and different manifestation methods (3,6,9 method, letter method, etc.) can help you reach the state of having and manifesting. there are so many different techniques you can find!

it really all comes down to how I described manifesting earlier, believing it is achieving it.

hopefully this was helpful for you whether you're completely new to manifesting or you just wanted some clarification and concepts :))

- li 🌘

[lunatic-pudge]

Scout, Pyro, Demo, Medic, Sniper, and Spy Relationship Headcanons

Can you tell which ones are my absolute favorite:')

Scout

• Unsurprisingly, it takes him a long time to get over his infatuation of Ms. Pauling (I'm 110% convinced she's a lesbian), so you must be basically a deity to be catching his attention (though he'd the type to flirt with EVERYONE)

• Golden retriever energy, also youngest child energy. Constantly wants to do everything for you but also needs constant attention. He's also used to be getting picked on by the other mercs and his older brothers so he'll be going to you for validation. But he also doesn't want to appear weak so it'll take some time to break through his (fragile) shell.

• Love language: physical touch and acts of services. Will be constantly trying to act like a macho man for you but will also beg to hold your hand. Cuddles are constant. He may not be good at being a handyman, but my gods he's gonna try his darndest. Plz tell him that he did a good job, he's trying his best.

• He's the best person to go to if you wanna go on randon and unexpected adventures. One minute you're both in Teufort, the next your across country at the beach up east coast. Poor thing gets yelled at a lot for just uping and leaving without notice.

• Local snack dealer. Ma is always making sure that he's got sweets on hand. His room has care packages from her with some of the most wholesome letters from her and the box if FILLED to the brim with sweets, treats, and soda

Pyro

• My little baby boo, a wholesome partner who would kill for you. Can get jealous very easily so you might have to hold them back from committing manslaughter.

• Love language: quality time and gift giving. Time with Pyro is time well spent. Constantly just wants to be in the same room with you. They don't do well when you're not around. Also loves to give gifts. Most of their gifts consit of stuffed animals and handmade drawings. Your room will be filled with gifts from this goofball.

• In my opinion, they're a lot more there than people realize. Some days are better than others though. They were literally CEO of an engeneering company! And I believe they made all their weapons to but I could be wrong on that. Homie is definitely reliable when they're having a good day, but on the bad days, just sit and spend time with them. You don't gotta say anything, just knowing your right there beside them is enough conformation to know you'll always be there no matter what.

• You two are little troublemakers. You'll constantly be up to no good with them. It seems like harmless fun, but you've both almost burnt down the base five times just this month!

Demoman

• Probably one of the best lovers you could have out of all the mercs (aside from Engie, they're competing for the number one spot). I'm deducting points cause of the nonstop alcohol consumpution. :(

• But he is a happy goofy dunk so thank gods for that. Always happy to be here. Very attentive, caring, cuddly, overall a good person to date or even just be friends with.

• Cause the constant alcohol ruined a good portion of his memory (and Medic as well), he writes down every little detail of you that he can in a little journal he secretly keeps on his person. Important dates, likes, dislikes, ect. The man has it on file in case of emergencies.

• Love language: gift giving and act of services. He works three jobs and makes over 5 mil a year, he's LOADED. He's gonna buy you the world if you ask. Definitely good at money managing so he never worried at how much gifts cost. He's also gonna try his darndest to help you out with any problems, though it can be a bit hard when you're constantly drunk. Hims trying his best, okay?

• Wants his mom to approve of you but knows how critical she is of him. Poor baby has some self-esteem issuses cause of her so please give him lots of love and support. It's hard when your mom never has anything nice to say about you and compares you to everyone else. It's a neverending struggle. :(

Medic

• You're definitley into weird and questionable people if you like this man, and that means we're best friends now. :D

• He will ask you to help him out with surgeries and organizing his lab. You're hims little nurse. He'd probably (absolutley) be getting you a nurse outfit with his symbol on it.

• He's very much the possessive type. What's his is HIS, no if, ands, buts, or questions about it. Would put a tracker in you so he knows where you are at all times, but someone would have to talk him out of doing it... for now...

• Constantly talks about you to his birds, if any on them ever have babies, he's naming one after you. Would get you a stuffed dove plushie to cuddle with at night when he can't be there with you

• Love language: physical touch and quality time, you're ALWAYS welcomed in his lab, in fact, he expects you to be there with him. Is the type to ask you to grab something and will graze his hands against yours when grabbing it from you. (then give a shit eating smirk afterwards) He'd also be the type to stand VERY close to you, and stand behind you in an intimidating way to keep others from talking to you.

Sniper

• This man is my all time baby boy so I have LOTS to say about him and how much I love him :')

• Is someone who takes a while to get close to, especially in a romantic way. He's just a shy little boy who's used to being alone. But isn't introverted, just has introverted tendencies (you literally see him hanging out with some of the other mercs in Expiration Date)

• Love language: words of affirmations and physical touch, he sucks at verbally saying how he feels about you but will leave cute little love notes around for you to find. He's also VERY touched-starved so he will just flat out lay on top of you if you let him. Loves hearing you say how much you love him, plz just hold his hands and say how much he means to you, he might just cry from it.

• Is also someone who goes on random adventures, but they're usually just out and away from everyone. But I could see him taking you to a zoo or aquarium to look at the animals. But you're not allowed to go to a Humane Society cause you'll be walking out with all the animals they have and raising them like they're your babies,

Spy

• Another gremlin who takes a long time to warm up to you. He's a grumpy old man who's never really been with someone in such a serious light (aside from Scout's Ma)

• Love language: gift giving and words of affirmation, another merc who would buy you the world if you asked. Will only buy you the best of the best and will throw hands with someone if it's not up to his standards. He could go on about his love for you. His words sound like poetry. You'd wake up with a bouquet of roses and one of the most beautiful love letters anyone has ever read.

• Is 50/50 on PDA, he'll wrap an arm around your waist, call you beautiful, and give you a peck on the cheek in front of others but that's about it. Any extreme PDA is to be in private or you're getting a scolding.

• Would definitely help you learn French. He's way more patient with you than anyone else. You've seen him yell and insult every merc a couple times (Scout getting the brunt of it), but he refuses to ever say anything negative about you

• Definitely the bragging type. He'll put you on a pedestal and go on about how gorgeous you are. How you were crafted by gods, and so on. He thinks he's better than everyone else so if you're with him, than you're right up there with him.

[blue-blue-blooms]

The First Date

Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: Your first date with Eddie doesn't go exactly as planned after you and your friends get taken and drugged by Russian spies, making him think that you stood him up.

Warnings: A little bit of angst.

2k words

Eddie Munson.

You'd seen him around school. He was loud, rough, and slightly intimidating. 

The first time you saw him was in the cafeteria, loudly speaking about the throes of capitalism, forced conformity, and the demonization of people whom society deemed 'different'. You mostly tuned people out during lunch, but it was hard to ignore Eddie. He was so captivating. You weren't sure if it was the way he used his entire body when making a point, aggressively gesticulating, or the way his face twisted and turned as he spoke, or just his general demeanor, that made everything he said sound so poignant. He hadn't really been in your orbit before, so outside your social circle. You were friends with people like Steve Harrington and Nancy Wheeler, not necessarily because you were popular but rather through shared trauma. There was something about going through life-altering events and near-death experiences that really bonded people for life. 

The first time you spoke to Eddie was after you saw him taping a poster on a bulletin board outside the auditorium. 

Hellfire Club. D&D. 

"Hey, is that a D&D club?" you asked him.

He turned around, slightly startled, and looked at you with surprise. 

"Oh, hey! Didn't see you there. Yeah, it's a D&D club. I'm trying to recruit new members since we're running a bit low..." He replied, giving you a hesitant smile. 

He seemed a bit nervous, slightly tugging on his hair and anxiously tapping his foot. You're pretty sure you were making him nervous. You'd seen the way people like Steve treated people like Eddie, even though Steve had grown considerably after taking out a Demogorgon and watching his girlfriend nearly die. You'd seen the way Tommy and Carol used to laugh at the 'freaks', shoving them around in the hallways, making fun of their interests, like the time Tommy made someone in the band cry during a pep rally. The realization that Eddie was nervous because he expected you to do the same slightly hurt. 

"That's cool! This kid that I babysit—his name's Dustin, he really likes D&D. He plays it a lot with his other friends. Whenever I used to babysit him, he'd drag me to their games. I never really got it, mostly because any time I asked a question, Dustin would scream at me," you breathlessly ramble, "He's not a huge fan of anyone who doesn't get the point, like, right away."

It seemed that the more you rambled, the more at ease Eddie became, and suddenly he was laughing as you spoke. 

"Well, I promise that we don't yell at anyone in Hellfire. Only when we're excited," Eddie said, a small smile lingering on his lips as he looked at you, "Just in case you ever wanna join in."

"I might take you up on that offer. I've been pegged down the list of 'coolest teens' that Dustin knows, and my ego's taken a hit," you joked. 

You hadn't ended up joining Hellfire. But you and Eddie had become sort of friends. You'd see him around school. You were both in some of the same classes, you'd see him in the hallways and you'd wave at each other. Sometimes you'd see him in the parking lot after school and you'd chat for a bit. But that was the extent of it. You didn't grow closer until summer started and you got a job at Starcourt. You worked at Café Nocturne, right across from Scoops Ahoy where Steve had started working. Most days, you spent your lunch break lounging around Scoops Ahoy, eating free ice cream, and making fun of Steve with his co-worker Robin. Sometimes you wondered what Eddie was up to, not having seen him since summer started, and you found yourself hoping you'd see him around Starcourt. 

It wasn't until the second week of summer that you saw Eddie. The Café had been relatively quiet, only an old couple sitting in the far corner drinking lattes. You were trying to pass the time by making random drinks when you saw Eddie lingering by the cash register. 

"Eddie!" you said, surprising yourself by how loud you were. You cleared your throat awkwardly and shuffled over to him, sending him a shy smile. 

"Y/N? Hey, I didn't know you worked here," Eddie said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, "It's nice to see you again, I was wondering where you went."

"Oh, just been making coffee...hanging out with my friends," you replied, "How's your summer been so far?"

"Erm, yeah, it's been okay. I've just been working, hanging out with Gareth and Jeff, writing some new music," Eddie replied.

"For Corroded Coffin, right?" you asked.

"Yeah, wow, how'd you know about that?" Eddie said, nervously twirling his hair. 

"Oh-um...I heard you talking about it in the cafeteria once," you responded, hoping you didn't sound like a stalker.

"Right, yeah, you should come see us sometime. We play in the Hide Out every Tuesday," Eddie said, as a shy grin crept on his face, "We kinda get a crowd, actually...of about five drunks."

You let out a small giggle, "That sounds nice. Unfortunately, I work every Tuesday. Maybe when school starts?" 

Eddie was slightly deflated at that, nodding his head in understanding. Not wanting to ruin your one chance at spending time with Eddie this summer, you hesitatingly asked, "Maybe we can hang out sometime? You could teach me D&D? I didn't get the chance to learn when you first offered..."

Eddie immediately perked up at that, nodding vigorously as he said, "Yeah! Yeah, that'd be great. I can totally do that. Erm, do you wanna meet here tomorrow at 7? We could grab some food-"

"Oh, I was hoping we could meet somewhere else. Maybe at Patty's diner? It's just that I spend all my time at Starcourt," you responded.

"Yeah, that works. Patty's at 7. It's a date," Eddie replied, before quickly backtracking. "Not like a date-date, I just meant, like, a platonic date. Like just friends hanging out, chilling, y'know? Unless you want it to be a date? It doesn't have to be! But, like-"

You cut him off before he could dig further into the hole he found himself in, giggling a little at how flustered he looked. "It's a date. A non-platonic, hopefully romantic, date."

"That's...that's great, yeah. I will see you then," Eddie said breathlessly, shuffling his way out as he raised a hand to wave goodbye, almost knocking into the table behind him as he left.

God, he's adorable. 

♡♡♡

"I swear to God Dustin, if we die in this elevator, I will strangle you with my bare hands," you grit out, pacing back and forth as everyone tried to reel in their panic, "I have a fucking date in two hours and if I miss it, I will literally end you."

"No one gives a shit about your stupid date," Dustin yelled, throwing his hands around wildly as Erica slammed a bottle of weird-looking fluid on the wall. You weren't even gonna try and deal with that, it looked like Robin had it handled as you watched her snatch the bottle from Erica's hands. 

Things escalated pretty quickly from there and suddenly you were lying on the floor of a bathroom cubicle, trying to make the room stop spinning. 

"Is this what it feels like to do drugs?" you groaned out, stretching on the disgusting tiles and praying that your head stopped pounding. 

"I wouldn't know," Robin replied, "But if it is, this sucks."

"Steve? Are you alive?" you asked, "I don't need you dying on me. You're my ride home." 

"I'm good," you heard him croak.

"Think we puked it all out?" you asked.

"Let's check...interrogate me." Robin said.

"When's the last time you peed your pants?" Steve asked, and you heard Robin let out a cackle, "Today."

"What the fuck, Robin?" you laughed.

"It was when they took out the bone saw. And only a little!" she defended herself, giggling with you. 

"I'm meant to be on a date," you moaned, "He's gonna think I stood him up. How am I meant to explain this shit?" 

"We'll figure it out," Steve replied, "Also, who's this guy anyway? You've been moaning about missing this date for, like, hours?"

"Yeah, it's getting kinda annoying," Robin added. 

"It's Eddie." you replied, crawling into the stall next to you and sitting down in front of Robin. "Eddie Munson. He's a senior. Long, curly, untamed hair. Really loud. Plays D&D."

"Wait, Eddie 'The Freak' Munson? Isn't he a drug dealer?" Steve asked, a little surprised. 

"Don't call him that!" you said, slightly defensive, "And I didn't know that. But if this is what drug consumption is like then he needs to stop."

As the drugs slowly purged out of your systems, and Steve tried to hit on Robin only to get rejected and have a heart-to-heart, the three of you found yourselves giggling hysterically in the dingy bathroom. It wasn't long until Dustin and Erica burst in and dragged you all out. As the night progressed, things only got worse. And soon, all of you were facing off a thirty-feet tall Mind Flayer and reeling from the loss that followed. Then the dust settled, a different story was fabricated, and everyone had to pretend to move on. And you had an apology to give.

♡♡♡

You didn't see Eddie until school started again. It was the first day back, hallways busy and bustling as the freshmen teetered around cluelessly. This year felt different, like there was some cosmic shift in the air. Everything seemed duller, void of any feeling. You weren't sure what it was exactly, but if you had to guess then it was probably the Starcourt 'fire' that had brought on this change. Things weren't the same after. It was like all of Hawkins was reeling from the loss, despite not having known the truth. You wished that you'd been oblivious. Maybe then everything wouldn't hurt this much. 

You didn't see Eddie around school until lunch. You were almost sure he was avoiding you. You finally saw him lingering in the hallway by his locker, putting some books in, and you immediately made a beeline for him. 

"Eddie!" you called, startling him as he looked up. 

You walked over before he could say anything, "I've been looking all over for you! I'm so sorry I couldn't make it to Patty's. I wanted to explain everything over the summer, but my parents grounded me, which was incredibly annoying since I didn't even do anything. But I think they were just super paranoid and didn't know what else to do and I didn't have your number so I couldn't call you and-"

Your rambling was cut off by Eddie as he held up his hands and dismissively waved, "It's cool, it's fine. Honestly, I don't know why I thought you would show up. If it was some joke or whatever, like, it's...whatever."

"What? No! That wasn't some joke. I really wanted to go on that date, but you know what happened at Starcourt, right?" you anxiously spoke.

"The fire? I don't see what that has to do with anything. Doesn't your shift end at 5?" Eddie asked skeptically. 

"Yes, yes it does! But I usually hang out at Scoops Ahoy because Steve's my ride home. I was doing that and then the whole fire thing happened, and I just got caught up in all of that, and then, y'know the house arrest? My parents thought if I stepped outside, I'd die or something," you quickly explained, "I promise I didn't stand you up!"

Eddie looked at you for a while until a small smile crept up on his face, "Relax, I believe you."

You immediately let out a sigh of relief, "I promise I'm not an asshole." 

There were a few moments of silence that stretched between you two until Eddie finally spoke, "I'm sorry about what happened. That must've been horrifying."

You don't know the half of it. 

You let out a nervous chuckle, "Erm, yeah, it was. But I've had some time to recover."

"How about we re-do that date?" Eddie asked, "Except this time I'm gonna pick you up, can't imagine the types of trouble you get into when I'm not around."

"Sounds good, Eds." you smiled, leaning forward to give him a quick peck on the cheek. As you broke away, you could see a small blush settling on his face.

"God, Y/N, buy me dinner first."

[gamesindustrynormal]

I don't know how common this is among trans people, but for many years I spent a lot of time looking for signs that I was not, in fact, trans. And frankly, they are not hard to find. I suspect even most cis people would doubt their gender identity if they had reason to look.

It's the obvious things. The biological differences, the societal pressure to conform. The various alternatives thrown at us - you just have masculine/feminine interests, that doesn't have to mean anything. You're just interested in a surface-level presentation. You're just a pervert. You're just trying to escape responsibility/gain privilege. We really should be dismantling gender roles altogether rather than moving between them. So many excuses for why what we're feeling doesn't mean what we think it means.

But it's also subtle, well-meaning things that get twisted by self-loathing. A trans person telling anecdotes of gendered experiences in their childhood and sure you found a lot of similarities to your own life, but also things that you could not relate to. Their description of dysphoria involves panic attacks and anxiety, but what you are feeling is more akin to a constant sense of hopelessness. They talk about benevolent friends seeing them for who they are and helping them come to terms with it, and no-one has ever seen that in you. At least not exactly like that.

Surely if your experience is so different you can't be trans. It's one of the other things.

And the more trans people I talk to, the more I understand that where we are coming from, what is important to us and where we are going is wildly different. Even for people who want nothing more than to pass as cis the ways in which they realized this and the journey they are taking there has a lot of variance. There's a reason good therapy focuses on what, specifically, would make you happier rather than how many trans boxes you check.

So I think it is fair to want to shy away from responding to gender-nonconformity as a joke but rather take it as a serious expression of identity and be curious about that. I think for someone who is just doing it as an act they will be quick to point that out. But responding with insincerity to a trans person taking their first trembling steps into finding their true selves just adds to the mountain of small excuses keeping them from happiness.

[ravens-two]

PAC: What's Beginning In Your Life?

This reading includes:

what's beginning in your life

what areas are being affected

synchronicities

The extended reading includes:

advice for this new phase of your life

what you should look out for

how to manifest these changes

Disclaimer: this is just for entertainment purposes, and as a pick-a-card reading it may not resonate for everyone.

TIPS | BOOK A READING WITH ME | PATREON | LINKTREE | SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC

Pile 1

Queen of Wands, Chariot, Ace of Wands

"I know exactly what I want and who I wanna be" Oh no! - MARINA

what's beginning in your life

Pile 1, your life is getting full of fire! You're gaining confidence and passion for your life and work. You're working to overcome limitations and explore your limits, how far can you go, how much can you push? For some of you I see that this is actually related to exercise. Perhaps you're going to the gym to get in shape and test your own boundaries and inner strength. For others this is about work or school. You have a goal in mind and you're working towards it. You know that things won't just happen to you, they require work and sacrifice and you're willing to make it. I see that for a smaller number you this is specifically about turning a hobby into a career. This could be something that you're very passionate about, let's say that it's drawing for example, and you've always dreamed about doing it as career, but never had the opportunity. You're now seeing that you have more experience, more stability and perhaps an opportunity to make it work now.

You'll also be feeling more inspired. It can be literally when it comes to art or to your work. Solutions for work problems just seem to come to you more naturally for example. Or this can be more about the way you see life. Do you know how Ghibli movies romanticize life? That's the kind of vibe I get from this. Instead of seeing cooking dinner as a dull chore, you'll start seeing it as an opportunity to try new recipes and be creative - or an opportunity to show your friends/family how much you love them by cooking them a meal.

The other main thing that's changing is your confidence. You're no longer hiding behind masks. You have come to the realization that the best thing you can do - for yourself and others - is being yourself, so there's no use in pretending to be someone else. You are then cultivating the confidence you need to be a more genuine and vulnerable version of yourself. This is the key to confidence really. It's all about not being afraid of being vulnerable. You might actually want to read about anti-fragility it's a really interesting theory.

On the other side of this confidence there's also a bigger connection to your sexual side. You're becoming more comfortable in your sexuality and sexual expression. You're no longer as bothered about people's perception about you and so you don't mind wearing the clothes that really make you feel good, for example. I also see you becoming more flirty and confident in your social interactions.

most affected areas of your life:

work, career, school, motivation, drive, hobbies, self-confidence

synchronicities: peacock feathers, champagne, bubbles, satin, cats, blue and green, 444, clouds, clover, Leo

Check out the extended reading on patreon

Pile 2

Moon, Fool, Three of Wands

"You don't have to be like everybody else/ You don't have to fit into the norm/ You are not here to conform" Ancient Dreams in a Modern Land - MARINA

what's beginning in your life

Hey pile 2! These lyrics from your song seem to really apply to your pile and your reading. You're someone that always has been a little different, always wanted different things and saw the world differently. Unfortunately, this isn't always that well received by the people around us, and so you've been trying to mold yourself into the person you think you're supposed to be. An oh pile 2 I'm feeling that a lot of you have this problem specifically when it comes to your parents. Did you choose your degree or job because it's what your parens wanted? You're very much a people pleaser, pile 2, but more in a sense that you do it to pacify the people around you. Well, the biggest change I see coming for you is that you're coming to the realization that you don't have to conform to what other people expect of you. Based on your circumstances this can be difficult in a multitude of ways, but believe me that you'll feel so much happier living a life that actually feels true to you.

Another thing that is beginning in your life is a period of exploration and better mental health. For those of you who struggle with their mental health or stress and anxieties, you're entering a better and more peaceful phase in your life. This time is going to be less stressful and you'll see a lot of improvement in your mental health. When it comes to exploration it ties in a bit with the last paragraph. I see you trying to get to know yourself better. This could be journaling, shadow work, trying new things, listening to new music, trying a new hobby, new relationships, etc. Basically you're starting a journey to find yourself. And to that I'll say that you'll only find yourself by diving deep within. You have to explore both the light and the dark and confront and accept both of these sides of you or this exploration will be superficial at best.

This could all be tied in for some of you, or for others only some parts may apply. Either way, I also see an exploration of spirituality. You might be religious or not, believe in the divine or not (there isn't a correct answer truthfully), but the reality is that spirituality is an important component of the human psyche. I think that you're asking yourself these hard questions. Does a god exist? Do I believe in the religion I grew up in? What happens after we die? What's our purpose here? What do I believe in? You might explore different religions or practices, like meditation or prayer for example. For some of you this will be an exploration of the esoteric as well. You might learn and try witchcraft, paganism or folk practices. In the end, this pile is all about self-exploration which is great honestly.

most affected areas of your life:

personal development, mental health, psychologically, self-esteem, spirituality

synchronicities: the sea, seam foam, Aphrodite, seashells, fantasy movies, blankets and rainy days, old cd's, bumblebees, wildflowers, Aquarius

Check out the extended reading on patreon

Pile 3

World, Two of Cups, Five of Swords

"Gimme love, gimme dreams, gimme a good self-esteem/ Gimme good and pure, what you waiting for?" Blue - MARINA

what's beginning in your life

Pile 3 this is all about relationships and emotions. The first thing I'm getting is that you're reevaluating your relationships with others. Do the people around you love and respect you? Are these relationships fulfilling? Do people accept and respect your boundaries? And the other way around too. How are you in your relationships? Do you dedicate as much time and effort to these people/person as they do with you? Remember that it's always a two-way street. I feel like this might be motivated by a conflict in a close relationship that it will force you to reflect on these things. It might also be that you haven't been feeling that fulfilled in your relationships and it makes you want to investigate why this might be.

Another thing that you may be analyzing is if you should keep being friends with a certain person for example, even if your values/interests/lives are so different. What do you two get out of this relationship? It could be specifically about a relationship with a person that you've known for a long time, but now you two have changed so much that perhaps the relationship is slowly drifting apart.

With the Two of Cups here I do have to say that some of you might be getting into a new romantic relationship (or a partnership of some kind, including work). This could be someone that you met either recently or abroad and the people around you are a bit unsure about this person. They might think that this person is trying to steal you away, for some reason? Either way it feels that this new person is very different from the people currently in your life. For others of you, this could be more about reflecting what you want from a romantic relationship. Do you need it to be fulfilled? Are you happy in your current relationship? What do you think it's missing? What could you do to make it better?

Another thing that came up is that some of you might be traveling. For some reason I feel like this is a bigger stay, like spending weeks or months in another place and having to deal with the cultural differences that come with it. On the other hand, though, you also have to deal with the way that it will change you as well. When you get back you won't be exactly the same person that you were before. This time is really about finding people who get you, pile 3. I think that this will be the biggest conclusion for you.

most affected areas of your life: 

relationships, love life, partnerships, inner conflicts, goals

synchronicities: cherries, feathers, white roses, lions, 22:22, golden hour, tulips, weather vanes, cotton candy, linen, heart shaped sunglasses, Libra

Check out the extended reading on patreon

Pile 4

Eight of Swords, Four of Swords, Seven of Cups

"Life is a game that the universe plays/ We are the pieces in a puzzle called fate/ Life takes its  time in its own fashion/ Emotions unfold like a superbloom in action" Highly Emotional People - MARINA

what's beginning in your life

Hey pile 4! The first thing I'm seeing for you is realizing that a lot of the limitations that you see in yourself/your life were placed by you. What I mean is that you'll realize that some of the things that have been holding you back weren't anywhere else but in your head. I think that some of you specifically struggle with what other people think about you, you might even struggle with social anxiety. But that's the thing that's changing right, you're realizing that these things are in your head. It's your brain that puts these fears and limitations in place and they have no actual base in the "real world". I see that others of you are dealing with excessive daydreaming, procrastination, anxiety, fears, and imposter syndrome. No matter what you achieve you always believe that deep down you don't really deserve it. Again, these thought patterns are changing for the better. These things will stop holding you back as much as before. I stress the not as much as before, because these things don't disappear from one day to the other. You need to do a lot of continuous work to make these changes.

Your pile is quite similar to pile 2, especially because it's much more focused on your internal world. The things that are beginning in your life is a time of self-development and inner change. You're getting a better understanding of who you are. I see that some of you are working with your inner child specifically. You might be honoring the things that you wanted to do and be when you were child, this could even include watching and reading the movies and books you loved as a child. This effort to connect with your inner child will be both very healing and help to get you know yourself better.

One very specific message that I get for this pile is that I think that you guys are the daydreamers. You're always making up stories in your head, little scenarios as a form of escapism from the problems in the real world. This could even come from your childhood - hence the inner child work. The problem is that sometimes you become disenchanted with the real world and you would rather live in an imaginary world. What I believe is changing here is your relationship with your whimsy. You'll find a better balance between daydreaming and actually living. Not only that but you'll stop trying to escape what you're living and you'll actually become more integrated and living more in the moment and actually feeling things. You might also turn to art (or something else) to channel your imagination.

most affected areas of your life:

inner world, psychologically, self-development, personal changes, spirituality, inner change

synchronicities: Tolstoy, Tolkien, Chronicles of Narnia, ents, lions, yellow, gold, old books, moths, Ghibli Movies, moss, Pisces

Check out the extended reading on patreon

[velvetvexations]

Venting but like. I know it's influenced by which circles I follow and such (I'm on this site, for example) but it feels like people just seem to associate gender varience with lesbianism. Like I see so little content of people who center femme gay men, or masculine women who aren't lesbians, etc. People constantly make jokes about like "sees what looks like two gay men but is actually two butches which is ontologically better" but never never anything like what if these two femme looking individuals were gay men. That and like the lack of community and language for feminine men just makes it harder for me to feel like I fit in where the options seem like cis gay overall gender conforming men on one side, people attracted to women of diverse genders and presentations and experiences on the other. People talk about events where they've felt seen as their gender and found other people with queer gender experiences and it's like yeah it was at the Dyke bar or something and I love that for them but where do I go someone who's gender is femme but also man and attracted to men cause the gay male community feels so distant and very cis and conforming, I don't feel a sense of belonging there but the alternative feels desperate to tie me back into womanhood or attraction to women. Butches and dyke's are fantastic but I wish I could find more queer rep of gender exploration that isn't tied to lesbians, personally. And I know it's largely because of the history of these groups and all that and the ways that lesbianism is treated and policed (how there's always arguments against bi lesbians but not bi gay men, trans man lesbians but people just flat out ignore trans women gay men(see the language deficit) etc. There's no equivalent to the butch community for gay men as far as I know, not to the same extent. There's not even commonly used terminology similar to butch or lesbian that gets across that kind of meaning without explicitly tieing in a binary gender(people try with things like Achillean, but that doesn't have the same recognition and often gets mocked instead)(easier to say "the term lesbian includes nonbinary people" than it is to say "the term gay man includes nonbinary people") so I've had to say gay men community even if I'm not entirely a man because there's no words for me) but I feel like I don't even know where to look to find people like me a lot of the time.

This is all just a very personal rant and probably not entirely indicative of wider reality but it helps me to express it to someone else, so I greatly appreciate you having your ask box open to listen <3

It's not things I have a good handle on, but I've heard very similar from others. You're not alone, anon!

[susandsnell]

Re anachronistic feminist characters, you are absolutely right and you should say it.

Maybe people who want to read "write women who sew" type stuff should just go do that instead of trying to make every single female character fit into their worldview. Because I don't want every character to be Eloise, I'm fine with variety, but a lot of people seem like they can't stand even one woman challenging gender norms.

No amount of faux progressive language will change the fact they sound like highschool bullies picking on girls who are too GNC or too "weird."

Thank you so much! Ideally, you'd have feminist characters more representative of the feminist or proto-feminist views of their era where the work is going for historical accuracy to honour the different points of where we were in history and also acknowledge the flaws of the movement at different points in time (1994's Little Women versus the hilariously bad 2019 version comes to mind), and certainly there's an element of repetitiveness in this character type, but this is seldom if ever the criticism I see. The truth of the matter is that in fact many early feminists did denigrate work designated as feminine, but we can acknowledge this as misdirected anger at having one option deemed valid.

Instead, we've somehow arrived at "wanting to be treated with human dignity is internalized misogyny because it really cramps my ability to romanticize the past". As you say, nothing wrong with valuing the labour more frequently done by women, but the fact of the matter is you can do that and show that there were always many people who resisted or did not fit into the tight boxes that society forced them into. Instead of, you know, ridiculing them for wanting to break the boxes while enjoying the fruits of having to fit into fewer boxes than our predecessors precisely because of women who loudmouthed and fought back and didn't fit into certain people's fantasy of being a submissive little princess. The kind of girls you made fun of and ostracized in high school, one might say.

To address a particular point you raise that I think is the most important in this entire ongoing discussion:

No amount of faux progressive language will change the fact they sound like highschool bullies picking on girls who are too GNC or too "weird."

I keep saying it, but a certain type of liberal feminist are now using "NLOG" the way it was socially acceptable 10-15 years ago to call someone a lesbian/homophobic or transphobic slurs because they didn't wear makeup or want a boyfriend. It is absolutely high school bullying mentality and has gone from an imperfect attempt at addressing internalized misogyny to active misogyny and latent/often overt homophobia and transphobia.

This is what the numbskulls making video essay after video essay about the apparent 'NLOG crisis' fail to grasp. The Heathers and the Plastics are not 'demonized for being feminine', they are accurate representations of how under patriarchy, social capital is gained through strict, obsessive adherence to white, Western beauty standards (which corporations can profit off of endlessly by manufacturing infinite insecurities, so bonus to the rich girls) and excelling at heterosexuality and pleasing others, and this system self-reinforces by the 'winners' bullying those who do not conform as easily. Jo March, queercoded dynamo that she was, took nothing away from the sisters who were happier with more traditional lifestyles because she wanted better for herself and the girls of the future, and represents so many women who fought for just that. You're not actually an intellectual for thinking Daphne Bridgerton has more value than Eloise because she was designated the season's Diamond, a literal in-universe (and true to life) Prize For Being Correctly Female, and unquestioningly accepts being paraded around like an ornament and smiling at being auctioned off to the highest bidder while Eloise fought back, criticized, and wanted an education more than any boy until they forced heterosexuality upon her. You are in fact a vanguard of the very patriarchal system the franchise even presents as backwards, because you don't want anyone raining on your arranged marriage fantasies.

There is nothing, and I mean nothing feminist, about snarking girls who do not like or for whatever reason, cannot or will not perform conventional femininity.

There is a certain sour-grapes defensiveness that comes from beig ostracized and punished for Failing At Your Gender if you weren't good at what was expected of you/resisted it. Femininity is derided, but it is also imposed (the two work in tandem to oppress women); and if you fail at its imposition, it's natural to try and gain protection by participating in the derision. Hell, I theorize that people who proclaimed themselves "not like other girls" in the contemporary age often did so out of resistance at the fact that we're supposed to perform (cisheteronormative) sexiness from the time we hit our teens, and of course the panopticon self-reinforcement that is how Other Girls treat you if you, an adolescent girl, shirk performance of femininity in any way. Certainly, I've also read much about GNC girls (of various identities) and neurodivergent girls equally having turned to this, which makes sense, as they're frequently targets for such bullying.

I do also think - and have personally experienced - it was an often imperfect articulation of queerness in many cases. The societal ideal of women under a patriarchy is cisheteronormativity; our value is derived from our appeal to men, and from the time we start maturing, sexual availability and appeal to men is the highest virtue. Therefore, women whose sexuality is not limited to men - or heaven forbid, doesn't include them at all - 'fail' gender, and accordingly often feel a sense of alienation and ostracism from other girls when they don't get as excited about dating boys. Also, in many cases (anecdotal I admit from people I know, but still significant), people who had a phase of asserting they "weren't like other girls" were in the process of discovering that they weren't girls at all!

And in some cases - again, I've mentioned that I was an Eloise for all the handwringing about how girls of that era wouldn't say that or do that and it would never occur to want more than what they had (...okay, so why are things different now?) - it's a frustration from the outspoken feminists and reformers at not being able to get other girls on board with us, because deviation from expectation will make you the weirdo who gets punished and rejected because ugh, annoying! As one historical costuming youtuber I won't name so charmingly puts it in her godawful video essay, "the women who made a big show of fighting back were freaks." (Way to convince us you care about feminism...)

All this to say the anti-NLOG brigade have utterly worn out my patience, and at best seem ignorant of the battles that have won us the freedoms we have today because it's not fun to consider how your escapist fantasy might be problematic (understandable, you don't always have to reflect on this to be aware), and at worst? They're getting the chance to be the mean girl in high school again/that they never got to be, they're just dressing it up in the bastardized language of feminism.

[childrenofcain-if]

Since you're thinking of adding pregnancy content, will there be marriage content as well? If so, will the ROs be okay with getting married and where in the timeline will it occur? Will marrying M make us royalty 👑

okay well, the pregnancy content isn’t 100% confirmed because i need to work out a lot of mechanics for that. however, i think i’ll add marriage, or at least an engagement as an option by book three. as for what the ROs think about it:

C LACROIX: they have a very complicated relationship with the concept of marriage. they’ve seen it as more of a strategic alliance than a romantic union. to them, it has always been something transactional, a way to consolidate power and wealth rather than a culmination of love. it also feels too binding, too final, and there’s a part of them that fears being trapped in a commitment that might limit their independence. not to mention that their parents weren’t the best endorsement of what a good marriage is.

however, they’d still consider it as time passes because they’re also drawn to the idea of having someone (you) who’s truly theirs. the thought of tying themselves down terrifies them but they’d still try it for the person that they love and trust the most.

V NÆSHOLM: they’ve always believed in the sanctity of marriage, seeing it as a sacred bond that should last a lifetime. yet, they can’t help but feel apprehensive about the idea, especially when it comes to the pressures of conforming to what their religion and society expect from them. they crave love that’s pure, unconditional, and real, but they’re terrified that marriage might turn into something stifling.

they need someone who can both respect their faith and gently nudge them to see the hypocrisy that a lot of religions preach. V is probably still going to think that them meeting (you) their future spouse was something blessed and meant to be, but it’d still help in making them confident enough to marry someday.

W OSTENDORF: for W, the idea of marrying you is a dream woven into the very fabric of their childhood memories. ever since you were kids, W has harbored a quiet, innocent hope that one day, you’d end up together in a way that only the purest of hearts can dream. they adored you in that tender, uncomplicated way children often do, thinking that life would be perfect if you could just stay together forever. it wasn’t something they planned or even consciously decided—it was just there, as natural as breathing.

every time they think about the future, you’re there by their side, and the thought of a life without you feels unbearably empty. they’ve imagined the ceremony, the vows, even the life you would build together. the possibility of marrying you isn’t just about that though—it’s about finally having the chance to say, out loud, what they’ve known in their heart all along: that you were always meant to be together.

D DIACONU: i’m surprising no one here when i say that D is the least likely to be down for marriage. they’ve always been a free spirit, someone who’s never been tied down by anyone or anything. the thought of committing to one person for the rest of their life feels suffocating, like a cage they could never escape from. marriage, to D, is something other people do—people who want stability, security, and routine. D has never needed those things, and they’re not sure they ever will.

not all hope is lost though, because their feelings for you complicate this stance they have on marriage. they’re not used to caring this much about someone, and the idea of losing you terrifies them in ways they can’t fully comprehend. they’d definitely reconsider this in the future and realise that settling down with would probably be the best decision they’ve made in a while.

M WHITLOCK-SINGH: they have always seen marriage as a duty, something they’re expected to do as part of their responsibilities. coming from a family steeped in tradition, they know that marriage is something they’ll have to face eventually, whether they want to or not. M is practical about it—they know that marriage is often more about alliances and familial expectations than love. they’re not opposed to the idea, but they also don’t see it as a necessity for a relationship to be valid or meaningful.

they would want to marry someone (you) who understands them, who sees their flaws and loves them anyway, and who is willing to build a life together based on trust and equality. with the right person, they could even oppose their family’s decisions for them to marry a noble further down the line, and if you know who M is like, you’d know they rarely ever speak up against their family.

and yes, marrying M would make you a part of the royal family. it’s not going to be easy getting their approval tho, just saying 👀

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

How do you analyze so good I'm really impressed and honestly wonder if I can learn from you

It's a skill, so the good news is, you can practice and get better at it!

Read A Lot/Gain Context

Analysis often means making comparisons or drawing from external context - one of the best things you can do if you want to be better at analysis is to try to cram your head with as much knowledge as possible. The time period, culture of origin, and where the author slots into those are usually major influences on a work (in Homestuck's case, much of it is a direct commentary on the internet culture it emerged from, and missing that part of it can drastically influence how the story reads).

Also important are the works the author themselves are inspired by. You've likely heard some variation of "nothing is original." We're actually really lucky with Homestuck in that regard, as the work is highly referential, and you can glean a lot by looking at what it references (for example, if you watch Serendipity, one of Karkat's favorite movies, which is titledropped during the troll romance explanation, you will understand Karkat so much better). This applies to things like mythological allusions - you'll hardly know why it matters that Karkat is a Christ figure if you don't know what the general outline of the Christ story is, nor will you pick up on the Rapture elements of Gamzee's religion or the fact that Doc Scratch is The Devil, etc. The key to picking up a lot of symbolism is being aware that the symbols exist.

And last, it helps to read a lot of media and media analysis so you can get a better understanding of how media "works" - how tropes are used, what effect language has, what other entries into the genre/works with similar themes/etc. have already done to explore the same things as the piece being analyzed is doing - and what other people have already gleaned and interpreted. I've mentioned before that many people seem to find Homestuck's storytelling bizarre and unique when it's actually quite standard for postmodernism, the genre it belongs to. But you're not going to know that if you've never read anything postmodern, y'know? I also often prepare for long character essays by reading other peoples' character essays - sometimes people pick up on things I miss, and sometimes people have interpretations I vehemently disagree with; both of these help me to refine my take on the matter.

Try to Discard Biases/Meet the Work Where It Is

Many will carry into reading media an expectation of what they want to get out of it. For example, one generally goes into a standard hetero romance book expecting a female lead, a male love interest, romance (of course), and a happy ending for the happy couple. If the book fails to deliver these things, a reader will often walk away thinking it was a bad book, even if the story told instead is objectively good and interesting. We actually see this a lot with Wuthering Heights, which receives very polarizing reviews because people go into it expecting a gothic romance, when it's really more like a gossip Youtube video spilling the tea on some shitty rich people (and it's really good at being that).

There's nothing necessarily wrong with this when reading for pleasure and personal enjoyment, but it presents a problem when attempting to analyze something. There's a concept called the "Procrustean bed," named after a mythological bandit who used to stretch people or cut off their limbs to fit them to a bed, that describes "an arbitrary standard to which exact conformity is forced." Going into a media reading with expectations and biases often results in a very Procrustean reading - I'm sure we've all seen posts complaining about how fanfic often forces canon characters to fit certain archetypes while discarding their actual character traits, etc.

Therefore, when reading for analysis, it's generally a good idea to try and discard as much bias and expectation as possible (obviously, we are never fully free of bias, but the effort counts) - or, perhaps even better, to compartmentalize those biases for comparison while reading. For example, Hussie talks at length about what they INTENDED Homestuck to be, and, while reading, I like to keep Hussie's words to the side while I try to experience the comic fresh, seeing what choices were made in accordance with Hussie's intentions, or where I think Hussie may have fumbled the messaging. At the same time, I try to let the work stand on its own, set in its proper context.

I'd say this is the number-one problem in fandom analysis. For example, people hear from the fandom that Eridan is an incel or a nice guy, so they interpret everything he says and does to fit that belief, or ignore any contradictory evidence. Or they fall for the character's façade that's meant to be dismantled by the viewer. Some works are fairly shallow and accessible, wearing all their meaning on their sleeve (or are Not That Deep, if you prefer meme-talk), and problems arise when a work is, in fact, That Deep, because someone biased towards the former will discard evidence that a work is the latter. This isn't exclusive to HS - it's happened in basically all of my fandoms - which is a statement to how easy it is to fall into this way of thinking.

Even without knowing that Hussie had coming-of-age themes in mind, for example, characters will talk about being kids and growing up. Knowing that Hussie has explicitly said that that's one of HS's themes serves as extra evidence for that interpretation, but the work itself tells you what it's about - if you're willing to listen to it.

Even If the Curtains are Just Blue, That Still Means Something

This is the next biggest fandom stumbling block - thr insinuation that when things in a work are put into the work without more explicit symbolism, that that means they're a discardable detail. This one is more about making a mindset shift - details aren't discardable, even if they don't appear to have been made with the explicit intention to mean something. Everything kind of means something.

First of all, whether or not the curtains are Just Blue is often highly dependent on the work. For example, in something made in large quantities with little time, staff, and budget - say, for example, one of the entries into the MCU's TV shows - there likely isn't too much meaning behind a choice of blue curtains in a shot (although you'd be surprised how often choices in these constrained environments are still very deliberately made). In a work like Homestuck, however, so terribly dense with symbolism and allegory, chances are, the blue curtains DO hold some special meaning, even if it's not readily apparent.

However, even in cases where a choice is made arbitrarily, it still usually ends up revealing something about the work's creative process. Going back to our MCU example, perhaps the blue curtains were chosen because the shot is cool-toned and they fit the color grading. Perhaps they were chosen because the director really likes blue. Perhaps the shot was filmed at an actual location and the blue curtains were already there. Or, even, perhaps the blue curtains were just what they had on hand, and the show was made too quickly and cheaply to bother sourcing something that would fit the tone or lend extra meaning. These all, to varying degrees, say something about the work - maybe not anything so significant that it would come up in an analysis, but they still contribute to a greater understanding of what the work is, what it's trying to say, and how successful it is at saying it.

And this applies to things with much higher stakes. For example, Hussie being a white US citizen likely had an effect on the B1 kids being mostly US citizens, and there was discourse surrounding how, even though they were ostensibly aracial, references were made to Dave's pale skin. Do I think these were deliberate choices made to push some sort of US superiority; no, obviously not. But they still end up revealing things about the creation of the work - that Hussie had certain biases as a result of being who they were.

Your Brain is Designed to Recognize Patterns, So Put That to Use

So with "establish context" and "discard expectations" out of the way, we can start getting into the nitty-gritty of what should be jumping out at you when attempting to understand a work. One of the most prominent things that you should be looking for is PATTERNS.

Writing is a highly conscious effort, which draws from highly unconscious places. Naturally, whether these patterns are intentional or unintentional is dependent on the author (see again why reading up on a work's context is so important), but you can generally bet that anything that IS a pattern is something that holds significance.

For example, Karkat consistently shows that he's very distraught when any of his friends get hurt, that he misses his friends, even the murderous assholes, that he's willing to sit them down and intervene on their behalf, despite all his grandstanding to the contrary. We are supposed to notice that Karkat actually loves his friends, and that he's lying when he says he doesn't care about them.

Homestuck is very carefully and deliberately crafted; if something comes up more than once, it's a safe bet to assume that you're supposed to notice, or at least feel, it. Don't take my word for it:

Basically, [reusing elements is] about building an extremely dense interior vocabulary to tell a story with, and continue to build and expand that vocabulary by revisiting its components often, combining them, extending them and so on. A vocabulary can be (and usually is) simple, consisting of single words, but in this case it extends to entire sentences and paragraph structures and visual forms and even entire scenes like the one linked above. Sometimes the purpose for reiteration is clear, and sometimes there really is no purpose other than to hit a familiar note, and for me that's all that needs to happen for it to be worthwhile. Triggering recognition is a powerful tool for a storyteller to use. Recognition is a powerful experience for a reader. It promotes alertness, at the very least. And in a lot of cases here, I think it promotes levity (humor! this is mostly a work of comedy, remember.) Controlling a reader's recognition faculty is one way to manipulate the reader's reactions as desired to advance the creative agenda.

But this applies to less deliberately-crafted work, too; for example, if an author consistently writes women as shallow, cruel, and manipulative, then we can glean that the author probably has some sort of issue with women. Villains often being queer-coded suggests that the culture they come from has problems with the gays. Etc. etc.

This is how I reached my conclusion that Pale EriKar is heavily foreshadowed - the two are CONSTANTLY kind to each other, sharing secrets, providing emotional support, etc. etc. It's why that part of my Eridan essay is structured the way that it is - by showing you first how consistently the two interact in suspiciously pale-coded ways, the fact that a crab is shown in both Eridan's first appearance AND his appearance on the moirallegiance "hatched for each other" page becomes the cincher of a PATTERN of the two being set up to shoosh-pap each other.

A work will tell you about itself if you listen. If it tells you something over and over, then it's basically begging you to pay attention.

Contrast is Important, Too

Patterns are also significant when they're broken. For example, say a villain is constantly beating up the protagonist. Here's our pattern: the hero is physically weaker than the villain. In a straight fight, the hero will always lose.

And then, at the mid-season two-parter, the hero WINS. Since we've set up this long pattern of the hero always losing to this villain, the fact that this pattern was disrupted means that this moment is extremely important for the work. Let's say the hero wins using guile - in this case, we walk away with the message that the work is saying that insurmountable obstacles may have workarounds, and adaptability and flexibility are good, heroic traits. Now let's say the hero won using physical strength, after a whole season of training and practicing - in this case, we say that the work says hard work and effort are heroic, and will pay off in the end.

In Homestuck, as an example, we set up a long pattern of Vriska being an awful, manipulative bitch, and a fairly remorseless killer. And then, after killing Tavros, she talks to John and admits that she's freaking out because she feels really bad about it. This vulnerability is hinted at by some of her earlier actions/dialogue, which is itself a pattern to notice, but it's not really explicit until it's set up to be in direct contrast to the ultimate spider8itch move of killing Tavros. This contrast is intended to draw our attention, to point out something significant - hey, Vriska feels bad! She's a product of her terrible society and awful lusus! While it's shitty that she killed Tavros, she's also meant to be tragic and sympathetic herself!

Hussie even talks about how patterns and surprises are used in tandem:

Prior to Eridan's entrance into the room, and even during, the deaths were completely unguessable. After Feferi's death, Kanaya's becomes considerably more so, but still quite uncertain. After her death, all bets are off. Not only do all deaths thereafter become guessable, but in some cases, "predictable". That's because it was the line between a series of shocking events, and the establishment of an actual story pattern. The new pattern serves a purpose, as a sort of announcement that the story is shifting gears, that we're drifting into these mock-survival horror, mock-crime drama segments, driven by suspense more than usual. The suspense has more authority because of all the collateral of unpredictability built up over time, as well as all the typical stuff that helps like long term characterization. But now that the pattern is out in the open, following through with more deaths no longer qualifies as unpredictability. Just the opposite, it would now be playing into expectations, which as I said, can be important too. This gear we've switched to is the new normal, and any unpredictability to arise thereafter will necessarily be a departure from whatever current patterns would indicate.

Patterns are important because they tell you what baselines the work is setting - what's normal, what's standard, what this or that generally "means." Contrast is important because it means something has changed, or some significant point is being made. They work in tandem to provide the reader with points of focus in the story, things to keep in mind as they read, consciously or unconsciously.

Theme

I'm talking about this stuff in pretty broad and open terms because stories are so malleable, and so myriad, and can say so many things. There are stories where horrible cruelties are painted as good things - propoganda is the big one, but consider all the discourse around romance books that paint abusive/toxic relationships as ideal. There are stories where the protagonist is actually the villain, and their actions are not aspirational, and works where everyone sucks and nobody is aspirational, and works where everybody is essentially a good person, if sometimes misguided.

This is, again, why outside context is so important, and biases need to be left at the door. For example, generally speaking, one can assume that the protagonist of a children's cartoon is going to be an aspirational hero, or at least a conflicted character who must learn to do the right thing. However, there are even exceptions to this! Invader Zim, for example, features an outright villain protagonist - a proud servant of a fascist empire - and for a lower-stakes example, the Eds of Ed, Edd, n' Eddy are the neighborhood scammers, constantly causing problems for the other characters with their schemes.

Thus, how do we determine what any particular narrative's stance on a given topic is? It's a difficult question to answer because every narrative is different. If I say something like, "the things that bring the protagonists success in their goals are what the narrative says are good," then we run into the issue of villain/gray morality protagonists. To use moral terms like "hero" and "villain" instead runs into the problem of defining morality within a narrative in the first place. But you have to draw the line somewhere.

So that brings us to themes.

Now, as with a lot of artistic terms, "theme" isn't necessarily well-defined (this isn't helped by the way the word is used colloquially to mean things like aesthetic, moral of the story, or symbolism). Wikipedia says: "In contemporary literary studies, a theme is a central topic, subject, or message within a narrative," but this is still very broad and hard to work with, so I'll give it a shot.

A theme is what a work says, beyond the literal series of events. Sometimes a theme is obvious - the theme of Boy Who Cried Wolf is that if you become famous for lying, you won't be believed when you tell the truth. Sometimes a theme is one of many - for example, Disney's Cinderalla says that kindness and virtue will eventually be recognized and rewarded, and that cruelty is interlinked with ugliness. Sometimes a theme is unintentional - for example, how Disney's body of work tends to villainize queer-coded characters. Sometimes context and the passage of time changes the theme - for example, Snow White originally held a message of hope for wartime families that domestic normalcy would one day return, but is now seen as anti-feminist as it appears to insinuate that a woman's place is in the kitchen, and her happiness is in marriage to a man. And sometimes a theme is not something you agree with.

In any case, a theme is a meaning to be gleaned from the text, more broad and universally applicable than the text itself. After all, we humans have traditionally always used story to impart meaning; our oldest epic, The Epic of Gilgamesh, contains within it several themes, most famously that of accepting one's mortality. It's startling, really, how applicable the story is to this day, even if specific details have become obtuse or unsavory to a modern reader.

This is, again, why it's so important to engage with a text on its own terms, in its own context, with as little bias as possible. A story's themes are not necessarily apparent, and commonly implied rather than stated outright, and approaching the story with expectations can easily lead to a Procrustean twisting of the facts to fit those expectations. A theme should emerge to the analyzer out of the reading, not the other way around.

Identifying theme gets easier with practice, and largely comes down to identifying patterns within the narrative (alongside looking at context and symbolism, of course). What does the narrative consistently touch base on? Are there any references; is there any symbolism? What does the story deem "normal," "good," or "bad"? How are ideas developed, and why? Why did these events happen, and are those motivations echoed anywhere else?

Homestuck is very complex and tackles many topics at once, and explaining why it's a coming-of-age would basically require a whole second essay, so I'll use a simpler and more popular example (like I've been trying to do) - let's say, Shrek.

The most obvious theme of Shrek is that beauty does not equate goodness, that one mustn't judge a book by its cover. The opening sequence is LITERALLY Shrek ripping out pages of a fairy tale book to use as toilet paper, and the movie ends with Fiona finding that her happiest, truest self IS as an ugly ogre. Shrek's main character conflict is that people immediately judge him as cruel and evil because he's ugly, and the characters' lowest points occur because Fiona is similarly insecure about her ogre half, considering it unlovable.

But there's other stuff in there, too. For example, if you know that Dreamworks and Shrek were founded after a falling out with Disney, then the beautiful, sanitized city of Dulac, with its switchback queue and singing animatronics add to this theme of a direct refutation of traditional Disney fairytale values, mocking them as manufactured, inhuman, and even cruel in the way that they marginalize those who don't fit an ideal of beauty. Again we see the opening sequence - defacing a fairytale - as support for this, but also the way that Dulac is displacing fairytale creatures. There's a moment where Gepetto literally sells Pinocchio, which can easily be read as a commentary on the crass commercialization and exploitation of fairy tales Disney likes to do.

And then, of course, there are lesser, supplementary themes. Love being a powerful positive force is one - Donkey is able to rally Shrek after he truly reciprocates Dragon's love for him (which echoes the theme of not equating goodness with beauty, as Dragon is still big and scary), and it's true love's kiss that grants Fiona her happy ending.

And then there's stuff that's unintentional. There's all this work done about how beauty =/= goodness, but then they made the villain incredibly short, which is a traditionally unattractive physical feature. So, does that mean that ugly things can be beautiful unless that ugliness is specifically height?

Sometimes, authorial intent does not match up with result - but in those instances, I think the most is revealed about the author. Modern Disney products tend to be very cowardly about going anti-corporation and pro-weirdness, despite their usual feel-good tones and uplifting themes - and that says a lot about Disney, doesn't it. That's why I think it's still important to keep authorial intent in mind, if possible, even if they fumble what they say they've set out to do.

Obviously, Lord Fuckwad being short doesn't REALLY detract from the overall message - but it's still a weird hitch in the themes, which I think is interesting to talk about, so you can see where personal judgement and biases DO have to be applied. There are two options here, more or less - either one believes that Shrek is making an exception for short people, who are of the Devil, or one believes that the filmmakers did a bit of an oopsie. Barring an outright statement from the filmmakers, there's no way to know for sure.

We can say a work has very complex themes when it intentionally explores multiple ideas very deeply. We can say a work has shallow themes when it doesn't have much intentional meaning, and/or that meaning is explored very lightly. The labyrinthine storytelling of Homestuck, with its forays into mortality, morality, and growing up, chock full of symbolism and pastiche and allusions, is a work with complex themes - especially as compared to the average newspaper comic strip, although they ostensibly share a genre.

We can say a work has very unified themes when these themes serve to compliment each other - the refutation of Disney-esque values, and love as a positive driving force, compliment the main theme in Shrek of not judging books by their covers, of beauty not equating to goodness. Ugly things are worthy of love, and those who push standards of beauty are evil and suck.

Similarly, we can say a work has unfocused or messy themes when the themes it includes - intentionally or not - contradict, distract, and/or detract from each other. Beauty has no correlation to goodness... unless you're short, in which case, you are closer to Hell and therefore of evil blood. To get a little controversial, this is actually why I didn't like Last Wish very much - there are approximately three separate storylines, with three separate thematic arcs, going on in the same movie, none of which particularly compliment each other - so the experience was very messy to me, story-wise, even though it was pretty and the wolf was hot. This is why we feel weird about Disney pushing anti-corporate messages, when they're a big corporate machine, or why it's easy to assume Homestuck was written poorly if you don't like Hussie - we want themes to be coherent, we want context to be unified with output.

Tone

Tone is somehow even harder to define than theme. It's like, the "vibe" of a work. For example, you generally don't expect something lighthearted to deal with the realistic, brutal tragedies of war. Maybe it'll touch on them in light, optimistic ways, but it isn't about to go All Quiet on the Western Front on the reader. By the same token, you don't expect fully happy endings out of the melodrama of opera, or frivolous slice of life from something grimdark.

Tone, too, is something people often wind up Procrusteanizing, which makes discussion difficult if two people disagree. If I read Homestuck as unwaveringly optimistic, with its downer ending the result of an author fumble, I'm pretty much going to irreconcileably disagree with somebody who reads Homestuck as though it's always been a kind of tragedy where things don't work out for the characters. Since it's even more difficult to define than theme, I'm not even really going to bother; I just felt like I had to bring it up because, despite its nebulosity, it's vital to how one reads and interprets a text. Sometimes I don't have a better answer for why I dislike a certain interpretation other than that it doesn't suit the work's tone. I generally try to avoid saying that, though, because it winds up smacking of subjective preference.

In summary... analysis is about keeping everything in mind all the time! But i swear, it gets easier the more you do it. Happy reading!

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

There's this dynamic I've seen replicated across numerous different identities, where people from the same identity group who have suffered greatly over that identity end up in conflict with those who have suffered less and also talk freely about the joy that identity has given them.

The people who have suffered a lot tend to find the joy expressed by the latter group extremely grating at best and offensive at worst. This often then leads to identity policing and the creation of artificial barriers that are unsupported by reality. If you have not suffered THIS much, then you aren't really [X]. Or, perhaps, the latter group is told that while they might technically be [X], they need to stop talking and 'prioritize' (aka stop talking, but nicer) the former group. This is also often categorized as 'privilege,' which actually makes 0 sense.

Meanwhile, the latter group frequently has complete failures of empathy or perspective, and often do not make space for the former group to talk about how [X] identity has hurt them, how they have suffered due to it, and how they don't necessarily emphasize it or particularly want to 'find joy' in it. There is often a complete lack of recognition of trauma the former group has experienced, and this lack of recognition can be especially painful coming from people who are ostensibly in the same group.

We have GOT to start acknowledging that both experiences are legitimate and finding ways to talk about our various experiences without hurting each other.

Some suggestions I might make are:

If you're in the former category, please try to access therapy or support groups to address your (completely legitimate) trauma. As someone who has *been* that person, life is so much better when you are happy for people finding joy, even in something that hurt you, rather than, what, exactly? Wishing they experienced the same pain? If it was really that bad, why would you wish that on anyone? Especially someone like you?

Stop categorizing intra-group dynamics as privilege, as if that marginalized identity could be a privilege. Instead, consider using other terms to discuss the spectrum of experience that don't erase other people's trauma.

Stop denying the trauma of others. Try to get some perspective on things, and look at the facts objectively. This is what is intended by the original "prioritize [X] with [Y] experience" framing, even if it has been twisted in shitty ways. Bad discourse doesn't change what happened.

And as someone who has also been in the latter group - look. There's a time and a place. For example, I love being Jewish. My life has gotten way better since becoming Jewish, even in spite of everything else that's going on. But Yom HaShoah isn't the day for me to express that. That would be tactless, tasteless, and insensitive. That's instead a great day for me to be quiet and supportive of Jews who lost family. There are plenty of other days for me celebrate my love of Judaism and for the Jewish people (like Shavuot!)

Anyway, nuance is good, infighting is bad, and valuing and respecting people's varied experiences can only help us. Exclusion and disrespect only hurts us and helps the people who want us silenced, hidden, erased, bullied into conformity and/or killed.

[rosemarydisaster]

Magnus Protocol ARG

Im not sure if someone else has already done this (most likely) but I've been re-readin the magnus institute excell with all the kids names. Since the tests where psychological in nature I thought maybe I could figure out if the "Connor" Dyer profile worked for Alice. But I think I've found out something about Sam. This might be the most tin foil hat theory I've had in a while but it makes sense! I've connected the dots!!!!!

There's a couple of things I need to stablish first:

The names seem to be ranked from lowest to highest score on the empathy test.

Sam scored the highest, Gerry the second highest (Dyer is closer to the middle of the list).

The tests seem to relate to cognitive development, especially related to morality and empathy.

The Asch test measures your "conformity" aka, how susceptible you are to peer pressure. Basically, they ask you a question, everyone before you gives the wrong answer, and the test is whether you would give the correct answer or go with what the others said.

The Milgram test measures your obedience when in conflict with your morality. The (very) abridged version is: they tell you tu punish someone by shocking them with increasing voltages and if you refuse they ask you to continue. The experiment goes on until reaching 450 volts or if the participant completely refuses even when ordered to continue.

We know the Institute was trying to find Subjects, Agents and Catalysts (there's an amazing post about this from @alice-apparently )

Okay so I made a little excell with the relevant info:

Both Gerry and Dyer show low conformity and obedience levels. Which, knowing Gerry (and maybe Alice??) makes complete sense. We can assume that they both chose to give the correct answer even if everyone else answered differently, and they also refused to administer the punishment even when directly ordered.

Sam on the other hand, mr "would rather die than complain about being forcefed cake" did in fact go with what most people said instead of the correct answer. He also finished the Milgram experiment, going against his moral compass to obey the instructions.

I think they were trying to find viable subjects to groom into avatars for the eye. Hear me out. The kids with the lowest empathy score show high scores in the Milgram test (makes sense, they don't care as much about hurting people) but from 80% empathy forward no one scores high. No one except Sam, the one with the highest empathy score.

Why not just pick the one's with the least empathy? the least empathetic kids were also the youngest and the ones with lowest cognitive developement (I do not go in deph about the other test but you can see the scores for yourself here). This kids aren't useful yet, because maybe they'll become more empathetic (And as such, more resistent to the Milgram test) as they grow up/develop.

Not Sam. He has perfect scores in every single development test, he has the highest empathy and yet he's the most likely to be influenced to harm other people.

In episode 10 Sam confirms his obsession with finding out why they didn't chose him despite having the highest scores. Gerry was the second highest and he didn't get picked either. My theory is that Sam was indeed chosen, and the fact that he shows no survival instincts when it comes to figuring this mystery out is prove.

His test results show someone whiling to file useless papeworks with extremely personal information because "well, you're supposed to even if no one reads it". Also Teddy leaving for a job that somehow didn't actually exist smells like somebody trying to free a spot in the very Eye-coded OIAR. A spot that Sam is more than happy to accept.

I don't know if this is an incredibly long con to condition Sam into the perfect vessel for the eye or if the Magnus Institute had to change plans after burning down. If it's the latter I can see them being very happy when their specialest little boy signed up for the OIAR and fell right into their laps again. Either way, Sam's fucked.

[malfunctioningmeatsuit]

most makeup is NOT art: let's face it

(DISCLAIMER: I am not judging the influencers as people and am assuming good faith. I am instead pointing out libfem nonsense. I do not think other women are vapid and shallow if they follow beauty trends, rather that the current culture surrounding makeup encourages women to conform and suppress. This is an attack on the system, not on women.)

<3

anyways...

Makeup culture has skyrocketed in popularity with the rise of talentless influencers, increasing backlash to patriarchy, and the onset of late stage capitalism. Elementary and middle school girls are doing one hour makeup routines before school. Women who criticize the beauty industry are getting called ugly and talentless.

As the makeup industry racks in more money and more women waste their time and money to hide their insecurities, there has also been a backlash from feminists surrounding makeup culture. Of course with every revolution there are reactionaries and these reactionaries have come up with all sorts of excuses and defenses to cope with or dismiss the exploitation of women with insecurities.

"I do it for myself"

"Criticizing makeup is criticizing women"

"You're such a pick me"

"Makeup is empowering"

"You're just trying to be not like the other girls"

"It makes me feel sexy"

"You just don't know how to do it"

All of these are very common defensive reactions which many other radical feminists have addressed. I am going to be addressing one I do not see talked about as much. I am going to be dissecting the notion that "makeup is art" and highlighting how absolutely untrue and ridiculous that idea is in our current world.

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Look at these images.

These are the gold standard trendy looks worn by popular makeup influencers on TikTok, Instagram, and other social media platforms. These are women from multiple different cultures and ethnicities. Sadly, they've been dragged into a very toxic and misogynistic culture which masquerades as art.

Look at the faces. They all make the same expression, gazing longingly off into the distance or towards the camera. These are "acceptable" faces for women to make. It makes sense they're making those faces as natural smiles are condemned for being "too gummy" or because they "cause wrinkles."

Their makeup is virtually identical also. Their faces are completely caked with foundation and concealer. They make their lips look fuller because thin lips are considered ugly. They have completely buried any of their unique facial features beneath layers of chemical paste. No moles, no distinct hairs, no freckles, no anything. They've likely been told their natural faces are unacceptable.

This style of makeup is not only socially acceptable, but very palatable to patriarchy. Women are shamed for not conforming to this standard. This is the standard for women, made by patriarchy and capitalism and inspired by the male gaze. To say this makeup is art rather than propaganda intended to make women feel guilty in their natural face is an insult to art and to women. It is an insult also to actual makeup art.

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Now look at these images.

These are incredible images I sourced from Instagram as well as google that show how makeup can be used to create powerful, fascinating, mind-boggling, and gorgeous works of art with the human face as a canvas.

Every single image is distinct. Between optical illusions, social commentary, homages to nature, and brilliant bursts of color, to say this isn't art would be objectively incorrect. The makeup in this art is bold, an expression of individuality, and even controversial. (Makeup that isn't for men's sexual gratification??? Makeup being used for art rather than as a coping mechanism??? Whaaaatt??)

The makeup here is a completely different species than the makeup worn by the influencer women in the first part of this post. Rather than hide their features with makeup for the sake of avoiding being ugly, they do it to play with the appearance of human anatomy. Rather than sexualize themselves, they paint mold and scars and eyes where they shouldn't be.

They revere their bodies and adorn their faces with bright colors out of a love for art and the human anatomy. They see their bodies as wonderful canvases in which they can express themselves on. They are painters rather than influencers. They care about creativity rather than wear makeup because they've been told they need to enhance their sex appeal.

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Liberal feminists call makeup an art as a means of separating makeup from patriarchy because facing the misogynistic truth of beauty culture is a threat to their habits. They also only speak about the style of makeup on the left as art and dismiss genuine makeup art because it shows how toxic and removed from true art beauty culture makeup is.

Tragically calling makeup art is hardly even accurate given the reality of the culture. Makeup is rarely ever used for true artistic expression and for every one artful makeup account on social media there are hundreds of cut+paste beauty influencers. True makeup art is a statistical anomaly and makeup/beauty culture very much shuns genuine creatives.

In my opinion...

Makeup will only be an art when it is divorced from patriarchy.

Makeup will only be an art when true creatives aren't shunned and instead are the voices of the community.

Makeup will only be an art when it stops centering sex appeal.

Makeup will only be an art when women are allowed to opt out of it and men are allowed to enjoy it.

Makeup will only be an art when it is no longer used by women and girls who've been taught to hate their innate features.

Makeup will only be an art when no women feel pressured to do it.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Yes, let's talk about "your" pronouns for a moment, because I have some thoughts on the matter...

What's that? Oh, silly me. By "let's talk about," what you actually mean is "unquestioningly comply with my demands."

Be that as it may, "we" - which is to say, "I" - am going to talk about it regardless.

Let's analyze this for a moment.

She gives the game away right up front: blue heart is for boys, pink heart is for girls. This ideology is based on stereotypes. If you still doubt this, I don't know what else to show you to convince you.

Secondly, her "gender" isn't a profound knowledge of personal identity, because it changes faster than the weather. I'm not even sure it's her personality, because anyone whose personality changes that rapidly and that wildly has some kind of severe disorder. What she's calling "gender" seems to be nothing but her mood.

Thirdly, and I keep having to repeat this, if your "gender" requires others to participate, then it's not a "deeply personal sense of self." Just like your faith cannot be "a personal relationship with Jesus" if everybody else has to pray or refrain from pointing out the flaws in the bible. "Gender is a social construct" means that your "gender" only "exists" to the extent people play along. People are sick of being bullied into pretending for narcissists.

More importantly, you don't get to make others participate and then deny them any say or input. You can't give people an obligation with no authority, because if you think you can, then others can give you an obligation with no authority.

And you don't get to make others responsible for your mental wellbeing, to carry the burden you cannot or will not, and then get angry when they don't meet your standards or decline the obligation at all. You are responsible for you. Trying to make other people responsible for your emotions or mental state is psychotic. Xians insist that humans - and particularly children - are responsible for keeping their god happy, evidently because he cannot do it himself. You're just as much of an immature psychopath. We are not responsible for keeping you from bursting like a fragile soap bubble.

You can have a personal, unquestionable conviction, or you can have a matter of public interest and discussion. As soon as you insist others participate, you forfeit the right to cordon your beliefs off from scrutiny. If you want your beliefs to go unmolested, then keep them to yourself.

If it's nobody else's business, don't make it other people's business. You can't claim your "gender" is nobody else's business, nobody else gets a say, and then insist it is their business to comply with these demands and prop the whole delusion up.

Private concern or public interest. Choose one.

Fourthly, anyone who comes up with rules like this is a sociopath who is trying to control, manipulate and trap others. Since third-person pronouns are used primarily when someone is not present, when referring to an individual when talking to others, this is a form of authoritarian thought-control. You do not get to dictate how others must see you or think of you. They get to decide for themselves what they think of you, regardless of whether or not you like it, and it's none of your business. And if your sense of self is so flimsy that you must coerce them to conform their view of you to your own view of yourself, then you have bigger problems than "your" pronouns.

When she walks into room, people stiffen because they have to talk like idiots around her - and that's part of the appeal. She wants to be "misgendered," because who is she if she's not a marginalized victim and the center of attention? That's the trick: either you comply, and she wins, or you refuse, and she gets to pretend to be a victim and she wins. Nobody's obliged to pay attention to these insane, imaginary rules, much less play along. When she's already gamed it to win no matter what, the only way for you to win is to retain your integrity and self-respect and tell the truth.

And finally, you do not have pronouns. The pronouns belong to the language, in this case, English. The English language has pronouns for you. You don't have your own pronouns any more than you have your own conjugations or your own adjectives. Other languages, such as German, French, Spanish, Italian, Russian, Chinese and Japanese, have their own structures, and they're not for you to "fix" with your stupid activism.

And yes, languages change. They evolve through common usage and common acceptance, not through narcissists performing blunt-force creationism enforced with emotional manipulation and vilification.

She's an average, unremarkable girl who's found a socially acceptable way to control other people and pretend to be interesting.

My adjectives are amazing/brilliant/impressive.

Misadjectiving is hate. #BeKind

P.S. I miss the days when pink, green or blue dyed hair was a sign of rebellion and uniqueness, rather than a predictable trope and red flag that warns the world about all your views and opinions before you ever open your mouth. #MakeDyedHairCoolAgain

[cripplecharacters]

Salutations! I’m in the process of creating a story wherein both characters are missing an eye. One has a prosthetic, but is presently isolating themself in the woods, and wears an eyepatch to protect the eye while alone; the other’s socket is either empty, or they have a glass eye with no actual details (iris, pupil, etc.). I’ve struggled to find references for the latter, and fear it may come off as unrealistic. I understand prosthetic eyes keep the eyelid from collapsing, but aside from that could a person just not wear one? If these options are unrealistic, please let me know. I can supply you with concept art if need be.

The story itself centers around these characters after one of them finds the other by accident. They’re painted as foils—the one hiding out in the cabin adhering to a self-made sense of logic that centers on cycles and confirmation bias, while the only who takes refuge there after running away is deeply paranoid and prone to hallucinations. The first character is missing their left eye; the other their right. I don’t want to make a symbol of their disabilities, but I feel their designs simultaneously stress their opposing perspectives, as well as the fact they paradoxically still manage to see “eye-to-eye.” Their visual impairment is just one of many ways they’re able to connect across the story, as they also bond over their obscure passions and delusions, and respect each other’s warped worldview to such an extent said worldviews start to blur together. In addition to this, the story places an emphasis upon an entity known as the “ocellus,” which is basically the “false eye” you see on moth wings. In my outline so far, it’s the name of a mysterious band which the pair discover in a record collection, and resolve to solve the mystery of (regarding the members, music, etc.) One of the characters also sleeps with an eye mask with the pattern of moth wings and their respective ocelli overlaying their own eyes; their paranoid counterpart also sees eyes in the trees and wood of the cabin.

Absolutely none of this is set in stone; before it is, I just want to know how much of it is fine, which parts “moralize” or make a symbol of a disability, and what is straight-up ableist. Please let me know if you need more details.

Hi!

The prosthetic eye has two main functions: 1) to keep the eye area stay in shape, 2) to protect the socket. Both of these can be achieved by conformers (it's like a big contact, except it goes into the socket and not on the eye) which I talked about here!

A blank prosthetic eye would probably be fine. The process of getting it custom painted is expensive from what I know, and IRL a lot of people will decide on the generic kind rather than a custom. If in your world the generic happens to be a blank, there's no problems I can think of? Potentially, you could explicitly say that it's not how most prosthetic eyes look like (maybe someone else knows a person with an eye prosthetic and they comment that it's unusual?). You mentioned that the character doesn't have it in all the time, so I don't think the trope of "blind character has blank/white/milky eyes" applies here because it's clear that it's a prosthetic.

A person could decide to go bare, but the sensation of blinking could be uncomfortable, and they would need to clean their socket more to get rid of anything that could get inside. Normal saline could be used for that.

I don't think there's an issue in them missing different eyes at all. If you want to make sure it's not giving "Just Magic Symbolism" energy then you could incorporate some boring everyday things that would make sense. If they go somewhere together, they could decide to walk missing eye-to-missing eye, so that they see what's going on the sides rather than in the middle, things like that. It could make it feel more grounded, so to speak.

I don't see any issues with the moth fake-eyes symbolism either, I think it makes sense for the story you're trying to tell.

If you want to be very safe, I would have a character (can be minor, or background) that's also missing eye(s) that's not connected to any of the potential symbolism and is more of an average Joe of Not Having an Eye.

In case you decide to get into that, it would be nice for them to have different causes of why they don't have eyes. It feels like in fiction it's always physical trauma, but there's a whole more that could cause someone to not have an eye;

anophthalmia,

retinoblastoma,

severe eye infection,

elective enucleation (removal) of an already blind/painful eye,

just to give you a few ideas! Giving them "boring" everyday reasons of eye loss will also make it feel less symbolic and more like a regular disability. Think "dramatic swordfight with Huge Meaning" vs "yeah I had cancer in my eye when I was 2".

I hope that this helps; if you have any further details you'd like to ask about feel free to send another ask!

mod Sasza