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hayatheauthor · 1 year

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The Rejection Checklist: Manuscript Pitfalls to Avoid

The literary industry’s writing standard can be hard to meet, especially when you’re a debut author querying your first manuscript. Even with a flawless query letter and a captivating storyline, authors often find themselves facing rejection due to subtle shortcomings in their writing. What seems like an insignificant writing quirk to an author can be the reason for an agent’s rejection.

As an #amquerying author, I have received personalised feedback from agents and editors alike that has helped me curate the best version of my manuscript. If you’re an author looking to get traditionally published, here is my rejection checklist of things to look out for before querying.

Passive Voice

The use of passive voice in your manuscript can be a stumbling block on your journey to securing an agent. This seemingly innocuous writing quirk, if left unaddressed, can lead to rejection. Passive voice occurs when the subject of a sentence receives the action rather than performing it. It often involves the use of auxiliary verbs like "is," "was," or "has been," which can make sentences sound less direct.

Passive voice can introduce ambiguity and make sentences less engaging. It tends to slow down the narrative flow and may distance readers from the action. Agents and publishers often frown upon its excessive use. Consider the following examples to better understand passive voice: "The book was read by Jane" (passive) versus "Jane read the book" (active).

Agents are looking for manuscripts that grip readers from the start. Passive voice can weaken the impact of your prose and hinder reader immersion. Agents may interpret it as a sign of weak writing, leading to rejection. To spot passive voice in your writing, pay attention to the use of passive verbs and phrases. Look for sentences where the subject isn't the primary "doer" of the action. Reading your manuscript aloud can often help identify passive constructions.

Over Description

In your quest to paint a vivid picture with words, it's easy to fall into the trap of over-describing every detail. While rich descriptions can enhance your storytelling, an excess of it can lead to manuscript rejection. Agents and publishers often seek balance in narrative description.

Over description can slow down the pace of your story and, ironically, detract from reader engagement. When every element is meticulously detailed, readers may become overwhelmed, losing sight of the plot's core. Agents may see this as a sign that the narrative lacks focus and that the pacing is sluggish.

Finding the right balance is key. Instead of inundating your readers with exhaustive descriptions, consider focusing on elements that contribute significantly to the scene or character development. Encourage readers to use their imagination, allowing them to fill in some details, which can create a more immersive reading experience.

An easy way to distinguish over description is by considering whether your passage helps set the scene or is distracting from the actual plot. For example, if your character was kidnapped and in a dark room with a blindfold on their eyes describing what they can hear or the harsh ropes on their wrists would be adequate description.

However, if you go too much into it and start writing winding paragraphs about the way the chair feels, the smell of moss in the air, etc. you risk ruining immersion. Are these details interesting? Yes. But do you need them to help set the scene? Not really.

Show, Don't Tell

One of the golden rules of effective storytelling is to "show, don't tell." Agents and publishers look for manuscripts that immerse readers in the narrative by allowing them to experience the story rather than being told about it.

When writers rely too heavily on telling, the narrative can become flat and unengaging. Readers want to see and feel the story unfold through vivid scenes, actions, and dialogue, rather than being handed a summary of events. Agents recognize the power of showing and may be quick to reject manuscripts that fail to employ this technique effectively.

Consider the difference between these two approaches:

Telling: "Sarah felt incredibly nervous about the job interview."

Showing: "As Sarah sat in the waiting room, her palms grew sweaty, and her heart raced. She fidgeted with her resume, her eyes darting around the room as she rehearsed her answers."

The second example allows readers to experience Sarah's nervousness rather than being told she's nervous. To address this issue in your manuscript, focus on crafting scenes that engage the senses, evoke emotions, and enable readers to draw their conclusions.

An important thing to remember is that simply adding a couple of words can also help you show the scene, you don’t have to add new paragraphs to fix every ‘tell’.

Lack of Atmospheric Detail

Creating a rich and immersive story world is essential for drawing readers into your manuscript. When a manuscript lacks atmospheric detail, it can lead to disengagement and ultimately result in agent rejection.

Agents and publishers seek manuscripts that transport readers to unique and vivid settings. Without atmospheric detail, the story may feel flat and fail to capture the reader's imagination. Agents understand the importance of world-building and its impact on reader immersion.

To address this issue in your manuscript, focus on incorporating sensory descriptions and setting elements that bring your world to life. Consider the mood, sounds, smells, and visual cues that define your story's environment. By painting a detailed and evocative picture, you'll enhance reader engagement.

During the editing process, review your narrative for places where atmospheric detail is lacking. Are there scenes where you can infuse more sensory descriptions or highlight unique aspects of the setting?

Remember that we have five senses for a reason and it isn’t good to solely rely on your characters’ sight.

Character Connections

One of the key elements that agents and publishers look for in a manuscript is the ability to create a deep and meaningful connection between readers and the characters. When you’re researching agents you will often see this listed on their MSWL or website pages.

Agents understand that relatable, well-developed characters are the heart of a compelling story. Without this connection, readers may struggle to empathize or invest emotionally in the characters' journeys. Agents often consider character development as a critical factor in manuscript evaluation.

To address this issue in your manuscript, focus on crafting characters with depth, complexity, and relatability. Consider their motivations, flaws, and unique qualities that make them stand out. Encourage readers to form emotional bonds with the characters by weaving their personal stories, struggles, and growth into the narrative.

During the revision process, evaluate your characters. Are they multi-dimensional and relatable? Do readers have a reason to care about their fates? By enhancing character development and forging emotional connections, your manuscript becomes more appealing to agents and readers alike.

Dialogue and Authenticity

Authentic and engaging dialogue is a crucial element in creating relatable characters and advancing the plot. When dialogue feels forced or unrealistic, it can lead to a rejection from agents.

Agents and publishers recognize that authentic dialogue not only brings characters to life but also deepens reader engagement. Dialogue that lacks realism can disrupt the reader's immersion in the story. Agents may view this as a sign of weak character development or storytelling.

To address this issue in your manuscript, focus on crafting dialogue that reflects the unique voices, personalities, and motivations of your characters. Avoid excessive exposition through dialogue and prioritize the use of conversation to reveal character traits, conflicts, and plot progression.

A good way to edit your dialogue is by reading it out loud or pasting only the dialogue in a new document and see whether it flows well. You can also add certain quirks or words into your characters’ vocabulary to help you make the dialogue authentic to that character.

Pacing and Tension

Pacing is the heartbeat of your story, and it plays a vital role in maintaining reader engagement. When the pacing is off or the tension doesn't build effectively, it can lead to manuscript rejection.

Agents and publishers are attuned to the rhythm of storytelling. They understand that pacing and tension are critical to keeping readers turning the pages. Manuscripts that lack well-managed pacing can lose reader interest quickly. Agents may view this as a sign that the narrative lacks direction or fails to hold their attention.

To address this issue in your manuscript, focus on managing pacing effectively. Consider the balance between action, description, and dialogue. Use pacing as a tool to control the reader's experience, speeding up during action-packed scenes and slowing down for character development or crucial moments. Tension should steadily rise as the story progresses, keeping readers on edge and eager to find out what happens next.

Author Notes

Finally, I would like to remind all querying authors this is an unpredictable and highly subjective industry. Rejection is an inevitable part of the process, and it's important not to let it deter you from pursuing your dreams.

An agent can think you have a great book and love your writing but still reject it because of external reasons like marketability. And that's perfectly alright because as an author you deserve to find an agent who can help you reach your full potential.

Accept feedback with an open mind but also with a grain of salt, as not all agents share the same viewpoint. I've had two agents reject the same sample pages because one thought there was too much description and the other thought there wasn't enough. This goes to show there really isn't a one-size-fits-all formula for securing an agent.

This blog post is a way for me to share knowledge and help fellow querying authors, but it's not a strict guideline you must follow. As you embark on your querying journey, I wish all of you the best of luck in your querying process and remember, one no is never the end of the journey!

I hope this blog on The Rejection Checklist: Manuscript Pitfalls to Avoid will help you in your writing journey. Be sure to comment any tips of your own to help your fellow authors prosper, and follow my blog for new blog updates every Monday and Thursday.

Looking For More Writing Tips And Tricks?

Are you an author looking for writing tips and tricks to better your manuscript? Or do you want to learn about how to get a literary agent, get published and properly market your book? Consider checking out the rest of Haya’s book blog where I post writing and publishing tips for authors every Monday and Thursday! And don’t forget to head over to my TikTok and Instagram profiles @hayatheauthor to learn more about my WIP and writing journey!

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chairteeth · 8 months

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Nemu's life as a wheelchair user and how terrible f4 is at portraying it (or, well, Not portraying it)

Buckle up I have a list of PointsTM. I will be going into Japan's history with disability as well as what life is like on a wheelchair.

First though, because I want this to have the intended effect, I recommend going over Nemu's swimsuit costume story again. It is Very Relevant. I recommend you enjoy the fluff of it too, before I dump the depressing thing about it on you. Though I will say I really REALLY appreciate how far Touka always goes to make Nemu feel comfortable and supported and listened to and cared for in every situation and- is shot.

So, apparently this room has a big mirror, and Nemu gets uncharacteristically giddy and we get this scene that Will hurt you. She even says that she finds this just as important as the liberation plan.

They had ALL OF THE SETUP, ALL OF IT. And now I would like to also share a recent analysis of Nemu's wheelchair that I dragged some wheelchair users to do, then I'll start thrashing and yelling about the significance of such a change. For reference we mainly have the sprite right:

I'm going to provide the relevant texts directly for you:

no theres like zero leg support beyond the foot plate and even the way the foot plate is designed implies that she has pretty good motor control over her legs

ya no calf pads or anyting smh

and whats with the armrests those dont look v comfy??

i doubt she needs much body support beyond the walking there's proper cushioning elsewhere, though

I can't see a headrest either, and the backrest is not very high, so I'm pretty sure she just can't walk and everything else is largely fine

Me:

it's a separate continuity, but in the anime Nemu can stand. We don't see her walking but we see her standing a few times, and some of them are at points where she has to have walked at least a little bit, so I definitely think it's not "100% can't walk" but rather something more complex. Even before she was a magical girl we saw her standing in the hospital, though you could argue that was before whatever anime illness she has got worse

huh. that sounds like chronically ill person energy conservation to me at least in the anime. me and (name omitted) do that, were usually on our wheelchairs because a walk to the grocery store may be too much and we might keel over from the pain or exhaustion. what about the game?

Me:

I don't think she can walk at all in the game? The times she's not in her wheelchair, someone is carrying her, iirc. I told you that the cause of it was her shaving away her life force repeatedly, and I've explained the other symptoms, but truth be told, we don't see those other symptoms again post Arc 1 (which I think is just because she's under less stress and not constantly shaving away the aforementioned life force), and we were sadly robbed of any kind of "discovery" scene where we get her actual reaction and yk, her assessing the permanent damage done to her body?

Me:

I told you guys how soul gems work as essentially the girl's soul puppetting her body, right? My personal theory is that she did so much damage to herself that it significantly weakened part of the soul gem-body connection. I thought it may have been severed, but if that were the case, I'm pretty sure her legs would just rot off, since magical girl bodies rot when separated from their soul gems for too long iirc, plus she can feel temperature on them so

WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US ABOUT THE TEMPERATURE THING

Me:

I'M SORRY IT'S AN OBSCURE ASSUMPTION BASED ON A QUOTE OR TWO ABOUT A FUCKING KOTATSU, THEY NEVER FUCKING TALK ABOUT THE DETAILS OF THE LEG THING, I WAS TRYING TO STICK AS CLOSE TO THE TEXT AS POSSIBLE

Me:

she's also never complained about pain from her legs, she's lamented the whole being unable to walk once or twice ("this body of mine can't help in any significant way") but never said a word about pain or other complications. Granted, she's also a people pleaser who would rather put on a stoic face than mildly inconvenience literally anyone

yea then it might just be she cant do the walking motions reliably. didnt you say she has an overprotective gf? The gf may have argued for the wheelchair thing to be on the safe side

mmmmmmmmmm ye sounds about right

They also talked a bit about control pads and wheels but this was the summary one of them gave me:

So in short, Nahi: mobility and feeling all good, but no walkies or will fall on face and fracture skull

That's the analysis and conclusion of that part, which will help discuss the next one. Now, first of all... I have complained MANY TIMES about our lack of any scene where this permanent damage is revealed to the characters. They skipped over that. Which I thought, oh, okay, maybe we'll get it in a costume story for the wheelchair sprite. We did not get that! And that's important. Because see, Nemu I think might be able to hide her initial raw reaction depending on who was in the room with her. If she was alone or (preferably and probably likeliest) with Touka, she might not hide it, but it has to have sunk in that she would be dead to her family again. And for a character who so desperately wanted to fit in with her family, go camping with them, and presumably do all the outdoorsy and sporty stuff with them, YEAH, A SCENE LIKE THAT WOULD BE NEEDED, especially because Nemu has the tendency to both self-flagellate excessively (Touka also does this) and to hide all of her feelings and suppress them as hard as humanly possible.

With that out of the way, I am going to go on my certified rant about living in a wheelchair. Let's start at the general inaccessibility of Japan. Nemu's wheelchair isn't exactly... compact or foldable from what I can tell so that doesn't help her in the least. Here is a non-exhaustive list of things to consider:

- Less maneuverability or no access at all in some places, such as hotel rooms, restaurants, and stores

- Way longer wait times for nearly everything

- The temples are shitty to access because 90% of them have The Stairs, and the parks surrounding them have gravel grounds that make it almost impossible to run a wheelchair through (or at least, it's really hard. Think of when Sakurako had to carry Nemu on the beach, sand/sand-like ground and wheelchairs most often do not mesh, especially electric ones)

- The general congestion of large cities is not good but at least Japanese people tend to be nice and polite about it and try not to bother/touch wheelchair users, however this is unavoidable and oh boy haha rush hour

- In the end a wheelchair user in Japan is pretty limited in what they can do if not accompanied, which absolutely sucks

Streets are often narrow too so gestures at list. Plenty of buildings, especially old ones, are never really upgraded/don't have ramps or accessible elevators either, and I have literally seen a Japanese building that needed you to climb seven steps to get into the elevator?? Okay, alright, I will try not to bitch too hard. If using Yokohama as a base, the thing with large cities is that actually, the subway and train networks are generally good for wheelchair users (though they have to take extra steps and a trip that would take an able-bodied person one hour may take the wheelchair user double that amount of time, plus the station staff will choose your train for you). Everything else however, not so nice, and again The Stairs.

Now I go on the funny historical tangent! Around the 1960s in Japan, there was an increase in disabled children being separated from their families and placed in residential institutions, many of which were converted from the ones built for disabled veterans after WW2. At the age of 18, many of these children were then transferred to adult facilities where they would remain until death. As you may be able to imagine, these institutions were not great! Cue many many MANY human rights violations, including child residents being used as guinea pigs for their doctors in surgical procedures and disgusting amounts of incidents of sexual abuse towards female residents. The traditional Japanese notion that disabled people should be hidden by their families like a shameful secret was veeeeery prevalent! That is why these places even existed. Those beliefs are, Still ShiftingTM so to speak but it is much better now because hey at least they finally have an anti-discrimination law. By "finally" I mean that ten years ago they did not have one. You see, the literal basic anti-discrimination act for people with disabilities in Japan only came into effect in 2016 (for the reference of the Americans who may not know and for an easy example, in the US, the same thing happened in 1990, which is still recent-ish but not, "less than ten years ago" recent). That's only eight years ago. So let's not even talk about how VERY highly Not Possible a fully wheelchair-adapted/comfortable home would be in Japan. It ain't great chief, basic programs are still being implemented, and I highly doubt people are very widely educated on the matter unless it affects them personally. I think that is most of the funny historical tangent, so... time for me to talk about adapting to life on a wheelchair.

Let's start with showering and bath/general bathroom difficulties. First of all, it's MUCH likelier for a person in Nemu's position to slip and hurt themselves in the shower/bath, not even likely to be able to stop their own fall because Legs No Worky, secondly washing up unassisted when you're in a wheelchair both takes longer and is difficult/inconvenient, particularly if you don't have a specific chair or other thing to help you in the tub/shower (I am unsure if her family would be agreeable to this or if she'd even ask). For Nemu's benefit we are going to go with my interpretation that magical girls do not have periods, because otherwise oh dear god well that's way worse! But yes there's that whole complication and see, if you live with your family you have people you can ask for help. However we are talking about Nemu, and Nemu would rather starve under a bridge than ask for help (in 99% of cases). We have a section for internal effects of leg loss don't you worry but like, girl already felt like a burden before, imagine how she feels now when she actually does have to depend on others occasionally. Showering/bathing must be an absolute nightmare every single day for the poor girl. You don't realize how much you rely on walking and having usable legs inside the house until you lose that ability.

This leads me into another very funny thing: reach. Imagine having short person struggles. Okay, now imagine your height is cut in half and you have to be sitting down for everything. Who wants to bet you are now unable to reach A LOT of the things at home? Bathroom setups vary so that one you can circumvent, however! Consider the following: Nemu displays an enjoyment of cooking. Have you ever tried to sit down in front of most kitchen counters? They are pretty high up from that position. Which is fine when you're maybe just resting on the chair but can stand up/take steps around, but when you can't... well. Cooking just got a whole lot more inconvenient and complicated! Nemu seems to keep doing it, so I imagine she's figured out the kitchen table hack (kitchen tables are often lower than the counters and therefore often used to do the prep work instead of the counter because it's more comfortable). This still does not account for the stove but we haven't heard of Arc 2 Nemu cooking solo, only either with her mom or Sakurako, so I assume Nemu's family has the decency not to send her to make dinner like they do in Arc 1.

On the topic of short reach, have you ever realized how inconvenient doorknobs can be if you're sitting down? And doors in general when it's not so easy to move, really. This is more the case for those with less grip strength or less mobility than Nemu, but doorknobs are still generally placed high enough to be inconvenient, doors depending on how they open can be annoying (though sliding doors I've heard are better, so long as they're not too heavy), and let's not even talk about the heavy-ish doors that you have to push against. Because while that might be easy outside of a wheelchair... not so much on a wheelchair. The inconvenience of doors and doorknobs aside though, and back to public transport for a second, you cannot be spontaneous. According to a couple of Japanese wheelchair users I gnawed at for the purpose of research, you need to warn literally everyone at least 30 minutes in advance if you want to be able to board a train. If something comes up or is urgent, I assure you, you won't be able to hop on whatever train or taxi you want.

For Nemu in particular taxis may not be possible, but f4 ignores this really hard (like most things that have to do with Nemu's disability, given that it is acknowledged as a thing that exists LIKE TWICE after the initial timeskip scene at the end of Arc 1, mainly in Christmas string where she laments not being able to help with physical labor in any significant way due to "This Body Of Mine" [she's very dramatic about it but also this is an important hint to how she actually feels now that she's experienced at the very least months of living like this and now that she's alone with Touka instead of self-flagellating in public]). In Mokyu's MGS, I remember that moment when Touka calls for a taxi very much On The Spot and they both get on to follow Mokyu, seemingly very fast, and I was just like "????". I'm not really sure that's... a thing they can do that easily, f4...

But anyway, how about another item? Let's talk clothing. This is also not something able-bodied people usually consider or think about, but clothing generally was not designed for sitting. It will likely never fit right for wheelchair users, and many pieces of clothing may not even be comfortable, not to mention they may not be able to wear a lot of things (such as long/drapey fabrics that could interfere with movement, whether of the wheels, the control pad, or their bodies), and depending on how much mobility they have, changing itself can be another nightmare to do unassisted, or at least, it takes longer and takes more effort (we will get back to the "effort" part soon). This depends, sure, but it's often worse for kids and teenagers because they're still growing. It's okay though, I'm sure Touka would be really offended about this and would just take Nemu to get clothing custom made. What a good partner. The clothing issue is often overlooked, but Very Much A Thing. Some pants are not comfy to sit in for long periods of time, or maybe they fit well when you're standing but not when you're sitting... imagine only ever sitting.

I think I've made my point with the clothing aspect so let's move on to ANOTHER THING! Yes, I have more. Some things like transferring may be more inconvenient in Japan than they would be in the West. Transferring, in case you're not aware, is what a wheelchair user moving themselves from their wheelchair to another place to sit (such as a dining table chair, if they want, or a sofa), or back to the wheelchair, is called. It may be more inconvenient in Japan because well, The Floor. Transferring largely relies on upper body strength in most cases, and see, you can park a wheelchair next to a sofa or other chair and move yourself there reeelatively easily, but the floor may be a bit harder due to the difference in elevation from surface to surface. Once again, it depends on the specifics of the wheelchair user in question, overall. I've heard a couple of people say that the floor is Very Bad to transfer to and from, but one of them has mobility issues in the upper body and the other has arm weakness (he can only get back up because he's able to push a little bit with his legs).

For Nemu there's also the possible school complications, but I have not looked much into how accessible Japanese schools are for students on wheelchairs, though I do want to call a bit of attention to how we've seen Touka at school in Arc 2 but never Nemu, and I feel like that might be one of the reasons. Studying from home I suppose could be an option, though it would be iffy to me because of the whole part about being stuck inside and hidden away.

Before I move on to other things, let me. Talk about this other thing. That is specifically heartbreaking for Nemu. That being physical intimacy (we're talking hugs and the like, people, don't get ahead of yourselves). Quick quiz question for you to think about before I answer it, have you ever thought of how to comfortably hug a wheelchair user?

Normally, when put on the spot, the typical able-bodied person who has never thought about it says that well, you can just bend over to hug them! And while that kind of works, that is not exactly a "full hug" and also requires more effort and more Going Out Of Your Way on the able-bodied person's part than a hug to an able-bodied person that you can just easily walk up to and hug without any adjustment, which makes it less likely that the wheelchair user will get casual affection through that. A common one is the hug from the back, which works just like you'd do it for any sitting person, however the hug from the back is not exactly common and depends on how close the two people are. And then there's the other main way to do it, if it doesn't hurt for the wheelchair user. Which is the lap hug. Able-bodied person sits on the wheelchair user's lap and that is how the hug happens. Most wheelchairs should be able to bear the weight, since you have to account for things like carrying groceries or Other Stuff already, so the capacity to bear weight is built-in (some wheelchairs can carry up to 700lbs/317kg). However you will notice that a lap hug is a significant leap in intimacy that not that many people might be comfortable with, particularly in a less touchy culture like Japan. Personally I think Touka is princess enough, has enough of an ego, and enough of a bond/trust with Nemu that she'd have no qualms sitting on her lap, but Yeah. Holding hands is another one that may take a while to adjust to, since it's basically a MASSIVE height difference that you can't bridge, and also walking-walking vs walking-rolling (or whichever verb you prefer for wheelchair users) areeee different let's just say and speed adjustment can also be a bitch

What I'm saying is if poor Nemu was already affection deprived before, It Got Worse. I will touch on this more when I talk about the social consequences losing her legs must've had. To sum this all up so far, it's an entire reevaluation of the world you live in. Things that were once convenient are now inconvenient, or at best, don't help you anymore. People are often stumped as to what to say to you or what to do or how to act around you, especially if you bring up any and all struggles that have to do with the wheelchair thing. It's not Nemu's case but if she had a friend group, that would also mean possible distancing from them due to being unable to do as many activities with them or go to the same places as before. The world is built for the able-bodied, and the effort it takes to just navigate life in a wheelchair can be extremely draining. And SPEAKING OF EFFORT, it is time for the spoon theory! Those of you already familiar with it may skip this part, as I'm simply going to copy and paste from the original creator of the spoon theory, but for anyone who has never heard of the spoon theory, please, do read this part. It may help you understand something extremely important for the daily lives of so many people, and it may even give some of you who the spoon theory does apply to a new tool to use. This is the spoon theory:

My best friend and I were in the diner, talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.

As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know?

I started to ramble on about pills, and aches and pains, but she kept pursuing, and didn’t seem satisfied with my answers. I was a little surprised as being my roommate in college and friend for years; I thought she already knew the medical definition of Lupus. Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no one healthy can truly understand. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to be me, to be sick.

As I tried to gain my composure, I glanced around the table for help or guidance, or at least stall for time to think. I was trying to find the right words. How do I answer a question I never was able to answer for myself? How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a sick person goes through with clarity. I could have given up, cracked a joke like I usually do, and changed the subject, but I remember thinking if I don’t try to explain this, how could I ever expect her to understand. If I can’t explain this to my best friend, how could I explain my world to anyone else? I had to at least try.

At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables. I looked at her in the eyes and said “Here you go, you have Lupus”. She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands.

I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.

Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.

She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn’t understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how serious I would become.

I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of “spoons”. But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many “spoons” you are starting with. It doesn’t guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting. She counted out 12 spoons. She laughed and said she wanted more. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadn’t even started yet. I’ve wanted more “spoons” for years and haven’t found a way yet to get more, why should she? I also told her to always be conscious of how many she had, and not to drop them because she can never forget she has Lupus.

I asked her to list off the tasks of her day, including the most simple. As, she rattled off daily chores, or just fun things to do; I explained how each one would cost her a spoon. When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon. I practically jumped down her throat. I said ” No! You don’t just get up. You have to crack open your eyes, and then realize you are late. You didn’t sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and then you have to make your self something to eat before you can do anything else, because if you don’t, you can’t take your medicine, and if you don’t take your medicine you might as well give up all your spoons for today and tomorrow too.” I quickly took away a spoon and she realized she hasn’t even gotten dressed yet. Showering cost her spoon, just for washing her hair and shaving her legs. Reaching high and low that early in the morning could actually cost more than one spoon, but I figured I would give her a break; I didn’t want to scare her right away. Getting dressed was worth another spoon. I stopped her and broke down every task to show her how every little detail needs to be thought about. You cannot simply just throw clothes on when you are sick. I explained that I have to see what clothes I can physically put on, if my hands hurt that day buttons are out of the question. If I have bruises that day, I need to wear long sleeves, and if I have a fever I need a sweater to stay warm and so on. If my hair is falling out I need to spend more time to look presentable, and then you need to factor in another 5 minutes for feeling badly that it took you 2 hours to do all this.

I think she was starting to understand when she theoretically didn’t even get to work, and she was left with 6 spoons. I then explained to her that she needed to choose the rest of her day wisely, since when your “spoons” are gone, they are gone. Sometimes you can borrow against tomorrow’s “spoons”, but just think how hard tomorrow will be with less “spoons”. I also needed to explain that a person who is sick always lives with the looming thought that tomorrow may be the day that a cold comes, or an infection, or any number of things that could be very dangerous. So you do not want to run low on “spoons”, because you never know when you truly will need them. I didn’t want to depress her, but I needed to be realistic, and unfortunately being prepared for the worst is part of a real day for me.

We went through the rest of the day, and she slowly learned that skipping lunch would cost her a spoon, as well as standing on a train, or even typing at her computer too long. She was forced to make choices and think about things differently. Hypothetically, she had to choose not to run errands, so that she could eat dinner that night.

When we got to the end of her pretend day, she said she was hungry. I summarized that she had to eat dinner but she only had one spoon left. If she cooked, she wouldn’t have enough energy to clean the pots. If she went out for dinner, she might be too tired to drive home safely. Then I also explained, that I didn’t even bother to add into this game, that she was so nauseous, that cooking was probably out of the question anyway. So she decided to make soup, it was easy. I then said it is only 7pm, you have the rest of the night but maybe end up with one spoon, so you can do something fun, or clean your apartment, or do chores, but you can’t do it all.

I rarely see her emotional, so when I saw her upset I knew maybe I was getting through to her. I didn’t want my friend to be upset, but at the same time I was happy to think finally maybe someone understood me a little bit. She had tears in her eyes and asked quietly “Christine, How do you do it? Do you really do this everyday?” I explained that some days were worse then others; some days I have more spoons then most. But I can never make it go away and I can’t forget about it, I always have to think about it. I handed her a spoon I had been holding in reserve. I said simply, “I have learned to live life with an extra spoon in my pocket, in reserve. You need to always be prepared.”

It's hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to. I wanted her to feel that frustration. I wanted her to understand, that everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one hundred little jobs in one. I need to think about the weather, my temperature that day, and the whole day’s plans before I can attack any one given thing. When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. It is in that lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss never having to count “spoons”.

After we were emotional and talked about this for a little while longer, I sensed she was sad. Maybe she finally understood. Maybe she realized that she never could truly and honestly say she understands. But at least now she might not complain so much when I can’t go out for dinner some nights, or when I never seem to make it to her house and she always has to drive to mine. I gave her a hug when we walked out of the diner. I had the one spoon in my hand and I said “Don’t worry. I see this as a blessing. I have been forced to think about everything I do. Do you know how many spoons people waste everyday? I don’t have room for wasted time, or wasted “spoons” and I chose to spend this time with you.”

Ever since this night, I have used the spoon theory to explain my life to many people. In fact, my family and friends refer to spoons all the time. It has been a code word for what I can and cannot do. Once people understand the spoon theory they seem to understand me better, but I also think they live their life a little differently too. I think it isn’t just good for understanding Lupus, but anyone dealing with any disability or illness. Hopefully, they don’t take so much for granted or their life in general. I give a piece of myself, in every sense of the word when I do anything. It has become an inside joke. I have become famous for saying to people jokingly that they should feel special when I spend time with them, because they have one of my “spoons”.

And that folks is the spoon theory. The spoon theory of course applies to wheelchair users. In Nemu's case it's more of a magical affliction and doesn't seem to affect her beyond the part about not being able to walk, however, as we've covered, that part is significant. It takes a mental, physical, and emotional toll. Then, other than this whole thing, there's issues with agency and independence. Yk, being able to live unassisted. I think Nemu could mostly handle it because I mean it's all she's ever done (insert parentification issues and her basically having raised herself, etc etc). Now here is a fun topic. How about social consequences? They are in fact significant as well! We just don't see it as much because Nemu's social life generally starts and ends at Touka, who is arguably the best-equipped person for this. You can bet Touka pulled three all-nighters to do research on this the moment she realized Nemu was not going to recover or at least not in the near future, and we already know she's extremely attentive from what we saw in Arc 1, so. Literally the best possible person for Nemu to hang out with, who will also never try to encroach on her decision-making or her boundaries, never try to take freedom or agency away from her, etc. Unfortunately there are more people around Nemu who may not handle it as gracefully (or well. Whatever Touka is doing. Her stunted social skills are actually a good thing when it comes to this).

Let's go from worst to better: Nemu's family. They are literally not mentioned again after Arc 1's final battle, ever. Not even when Chapter 8 happens. Not at all, zero mentions, at least none as far as I know. Which is concerning. Nemu still speaks fondly of them in Arc 2, from the Christmas quotes, but I mean. Desperate for love. Desperately learning her family's favorite foods and colors, fretting over what gift to get her brother. Which is just extra sad knowing that she's probably dead to them (again). I don't think it's a stretch to say that Nemu's family would have ZERO CLUE how to handle the entire topic. Common reactions are either avoidance/pretending it's not there, or severe awkwardness and hesitation that there is no way the wheelchair user won't notice. Particularly if they're a very perceptive person who pays close attention to the people around them (Nemu). I think Nemu's family might be the avoidance type, since they're allergic to making any effort to get to know her or yk treat her as their daughter instead of, parentifying her to hell and back at best. But let's take another couple of examples: Iroha and Ui.

I think those two might be the awkwardness type. Which is, "I have never encountered this problem and I'm not sure how to go about it but I don't want to hurt or offend this person" and normally leads to general insecurity/anxiety about mentioning specific things around the wheelchair user, or inviting them to things, or assigning tasks to them because the person fears they might hurt themselves/be unable to do what you asked, feel worse, etc. It can manifest in many ways and is normally born out of politeness or genuine personal concern for the other, but alas wheelchair users are not (all) blind, so they do very much notice. On their side it's also awkward and hurtful, in most cases. It's bad too when they get condescended or infantilized or as I mentioned before people take their agency away. It's that thing where you assume the wheelchair user needs help for (insert task) and that you're just being nice by lending them a hand but hey, hey. Maybe ask instead of assuming and moving to do a thing for them that you don't know with 100% is something they need help with. Maybe they don't actually need your help (cough savior/hero complex) and I assure you they appreciate being able to do whatever they can by themselves. Yes, it's well-meaning, but that doesn't mean it won't hurt the wheelchair user or make them feel bad/worse about themselves. The infantilization thing is often related to this too.

Next and last, the inner consequences of a significant loss such as this one. This part is about self-perception, perception in regards to the world and to others, and obviously it ties into Nemu's previously established concerns, fears, and general IssuesTM. This is another "sigh where to begin!" moment for me, because as I have established before, Nemu has major issues. Take literally every issue Nemu has ever had and them pump them full of steroids, then assume that bits of those issues drop off the bigger issue blob and grow into new connected issues. That is what this caused. There is of course a fun set of new issues that relate to the old ones but aren't fully connected as well. That being the feeling of being broken, incomplete, defective. For a person like Nemu whose worth is in considerable part determined by how useful she can be to others, that's not good. She's very much the type to keep things in rather than express them, except the precious scarce few times when we see her alone with Touka (you'll notice that usually we don't get scenes of them alone together save for Christmas String where there was A Pressing Issue to solve, normally it's the rest of the cast going to them for something so it's not exactly the correct atmosphere or moment for a vulnerability moment, Nemu has them, we see some, but they are Very Few).

The one comment from when she and Touka were moving their books out of Touka's private room in the hospital (still real gay of Touka to casually of her own will give Nemu a permanent space in her private room just so she could store her books), the one where she gets all droopy about being unable to help with the whole book moving process? Yeah that's your confirmation that as suspected, yes, she was lying when she said "this is fine" at the end of Arc 1. This is not by any means fine. Sure she has accepted it and thinks she deserves it but this is Nemu "I am to blame for damaging the economy of Japan" Hiiragi (I have a screenshot of when she said this) so like gestures vaguely. By that point in Christmas String, as I said before, she's probably been on a wheelchair for months at the very least, so she's had a chance to experience what that's like, among other things. I can't imagine she feels great about it. While simultaneously thinking her intestines should be bundled up with a pitchfork every day at noon for her sins, of course (insert aforementioned self-flagellation issues). Because she blames herself for literally everything and likely also blames herself every single time her inability to walk leaves her unable to do something she could've done before, and may even push herself beyond what's safe and healthy for her at times. Therefore, internally, yeah, Nemu is way worse than before. FORTUNATELY the stress of the Magius and the physical strain from making uwasa are no longer a thing and she has a safe place to be in every day with her partner who understands and loves her and doesn't even think of any adjustments as "effort" (of course this is nothing for Touka, she's a genius, I can hear the Toukitty saying with her nose up in the air like that). So that is, one good thing. And she can likely read more easily.

Unfortunately, Arc 2 also brings stress and more guilt due to the factions. There's the NM guilt and the PB guilt mainly, but also the stress of the few people they care about besides each other (such as Ui and Iroha) being in mortal danger. And what bothers me is, the way this entire thing affects and stimulates Nemu's concerns and fears from before is so criminally overlooked and outright ignored? We saw from her quotes and personal memo that she desperately wants to be loved, desperately wants to not be forgotten, and to leave behind a legacy (this is about the being forgotten part too). A common issue for wheelchair users is, in fact, that they are neglected and forgotten about, often only an afterthought, particularly for the administration. And so it annoys me endlessly that f4 are allergic to handling their disabled main cast member whatsoever and neglect her in much the same way her family does.

Anyway, this isn't exhaustive, there's definitely more to unpack, but it's already very long and I thank everyone who has read this far for your time. I hope it helped you guys understand at least a little bit better.

#magia record #nishiposting #essay #nemu hiiragi

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crossdressingdeath · 8 months

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I genuinely do believe that Karlach is the earliest sign of Larian's "pander to the fans no matter how much damage it does to the story" mentality. Like, I love her as a character! But she wasn't designed to be an origin companion, and looking at her quest you can see they didn't actually know what to do with her when they upgraded her importance. From what I understand she was originally an escapee from Zariel's army that Wyll was tasked to track down, and that was it! That was all that was necessary! No engine for a heart, no connection to Gortash, she was a one-off quest character who didn't need a deeper story and she was a strong character for what she needed to be. And Larian could've gotten away with making her a recurring NPC or even act 2/3 companion with that characterization, but to please the fans they made her an origin companion... which meant suddenly she needed a more complex story and a personal quest and an arc tied into the main plot, and they botched that so hard because she wasn't designed with that in mind. Her personal quest is a) a fetch quest and then b) tied so tightly to the main plot that you can't even properly complete it unless you do the main story in a specific way. If you ally with Gortash and he's killed by the brain Karlach's quest never properly completes! You never get the conversation with her where she gets pissed about how it didn't change anything because she's still going to die and she wants to live! That is bullshit! Although honestly she should probably leave you entirely if you ally with Gortash, by tying her personal arc so closely to her hatred of him they've created a situation where it feels absolutely bizarre that she sticks around if you do that. Especially playing Durge; you're telling me she learns the group's leader was Gortash's best friend and then they choose to ally with him and she yells at them for two seconds and then is fine with it? That's... stupid. It's stupid. If you're not going to let her quest complete if the players ally with Gortash then at least give an actual reason for that. Also, her backstory doesn't make any sense; why would Gortash go to all that trouble to keep her in the dark about what he was doing? Why would he care? Why would Zariel care enough for Karlach to apparently be her special favourite (but apparently not enough to make more than a halfhearted effort to go after her; seriously, she gives up completely after two attempts and only really comes up again outside of backstory discussion when Karlach insists she'll be after her again if she returns to Avernus as a reason for choosing death over going back even temporarily)? Why would an archdevil care enough to make a deal with the scales weighted so heavily against her for one random teenager? It's actually significantly weakened the emotional impact of the whole thing for me, I keep going down the rabbit hole of how little fucking sense this makes and it drags me out of the story.

...This has gotten away from me slightly. Basically Karlach's story as an origin companion makes it clear that they didn't actually have a plan for making her so important. They just rehashed Gale's exploding chest bomb thing in a much less plot-relevant way and leashed the whole thing to a villain who already had strong ties to an origin companion instead of giving her her own damn villain like all the other origin companions. She barely even has a quest, and certainly not one with a satisfying arc and interesting moral questions involved in it like everyone else got. She was much stronger as a less important character, because as a less important character she didn't need a detailed backstory or personal quest so the question of whether those things made sense or were good was a moot point. And looking at it in hindsight... yeah, that fits very neatly into the running theme of Larian making the story worse to pander to the fans.

#bg3

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pizzaapplecheese · 10 months

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I like LMK, but I will admit some of their writing decisions are a bit... atrocious. Don't get me wrong, I love the story and characters, but sometimes I wonder what is the point of the changes they make. The samadhi fire being one of them.

It is honestly one of the most useless and confusing change I have ever seen with no justification. I am going to break it down to 3 reasons why I believe this.

Nothing needed to be changed.

This is one of my biggest gripe with this change is that it doesn't even NEEDED to be changed. The Samadhi fire could still have been sealed without making Redson a newborn (thus removing the whole section where he was forced to become a disciple of Guanyin and being the whole reason why both the Demon Bull King and his brother who guarded the abortion water was angry at Wukong). It is as simple as having it be Guanyin who ordered it. At this point Redboy was Guanyin's responsibility, so why not have her ask the pilgrims to do the ritual. Both the sealing and Redson becoming a disciple can co-exist it isn't something mutually exclusive.

2. Reduces one of Redson's main character trait and takes away exploration of a complex relationship

Unlike in the show, Redson wasn't born with the Samadhi fire, he worked for it. Which outside of his devotion for his parent's admiration, isn't really explored that much. He is a very strong character in book (he caused Wukong to have a breakdown and even made him to NEED Guanyin's help in handling him, the same Sun Wukong who only the Buddha was able to stop during his havoc in heaven) and it feels a bit disappointing to see him be reduced so much in the show.

The Samadhi fire being sealed when he was older and more aware is such an interesting concept as the shift of strength would always be something to be hanged over for Redson. It would be like taking away Wukong's shapeshifting, like sure Wukong can still do many things, but he is significantly weakened. This goes back to Redson's main trait, HE IS A HARDWORKER, in the show he engineers a lot, building many bull clones and used a machine to help take Wukong's staff out. It makes sense for him to search for alternatives to help him match his previous strength or work around the issues the sealing have given him. I will be honest Redson is an overachiever, he constantly works hard on being number 1 in everything he does, he is not the type of character would have this stop him.

Also it makes such a good exploration of the complex family dynamic of the bull family. To DBK and PIF this would obviously have been seen as a bad thing ("not only did Wukong made his son a slave of Guanyin and beat him up, but he even help took away his power!" <- biased) they have every right to be angry and might even dabble a bit of behaviour that parents with disabled child would react (ie. grieving his past self and treating this something pitiful) which would definitely not help with Redson's overachieving behaviour which honestly gives more reasons why he is like that. The dinner scene would make a good moment to show the contrast between Redson and his parents because they do love each other, but the way his parents express it is harmful (they are trying at least) they would have been too busy being upset to actually think to consider Redson's own views of the situation. Like I can definitely hear DBK talking about Redson in his younger years as an unstoppable force who could conquer the world if he wanted to, until Guanyin came around and forced him to weakened out of fear and jealousy (cough cough biased narrator).

3. confuses the story

I don't feel as if I need to explain this one, but it really does confuse the story a bit. If it wasn't because the Redson situation, why did they fight in the first place? What happened in between sealing the Samadhi fire and placing DBK under a mountain? The show never explained that and juging how DBK's relationship with Wukong is constantly overshadowed in the show in favour of SEM I doubt we will ever know.

#lmk sun wukong #lmk monkey king #lmk red son #lmk dbk #lmk demon bull king #lmk demon bull family #lmk guanyin #lmk pif #lmk princess iron fan #lmk red boy #rant #lmk rant #lmk samadhi fire #lmk macaque

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ancientwastedlores · 5 months

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Getaway Car [T.Swift-inspired LOKI Fic]

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Ask: I am OBSESSED with your stories <3 <3 <3 could you write a Getaway Car themes fic about Loki and reader when it's them against the Avengers for some reasons, they get away together and reader thinks Loki will betray them so they betray him first? All angst and pain (. )(. ) thx <3 <3 <3

Note: HELLO, I know it's v late and been a while. But I heard Taylor's new album, and the need to write awakened. Thought I'd revisit my old requests for some inspo and found this one I've been wanting to do for a while. Hope you like it! And leave me your TTPD requests as well <3

WORD COUNT: 2756

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Getaway Car

I’m in a getaway car I left you at the motel bar Took the money in the bag and stole the keys That was the last time you ever saw me…

Partners in crime. Brothers in arms. That’s how the Avengers saw you and Loki, forever up to some mischief together. The way you both shared one mind was insane, and while Tony was glad it gave you a battle advantage, that brilliance was too often used for useless pranks around the facility, tiring out Steve Rogers and Bruce Banner the most.

So what? They were harmless. These were ‘morale boosting’ and ‘team building’ activities, as per you. If anything, it brought the team closer together. And your pranks were your way of keeping the Avengers always alert and ready for danger. You had endless justifications.

‘When do the excuses end?’ Tony once asked you. ‘When do Earth’s mighty Avengers stop screaming about grasshoppers in their pancakes? It’s a protein-rich breakfast.’

Meanwhile, Loki never scrambled for a justification. He did things because he wanted to, and the chiding and complaining only encouraged him. Together, you made life hell for villains and heroes alike. You and Loki were the first response to an attack because of the way you could significantly weaken the enemy's psyche, prepping them to be an easy kill for the rest of the Avengers.

You made a good team. A powerful one. And while your pranks kept things light, the Avengers were not unaware that if you decided to turn against them, you would succeed in wiping them out.

___________________________________________

You and Loki weren’t the type for meetings, which made things easy for Tony that evening. In the bi-monthly meetup in his grand tower, he brought up a subject he’d been mulling over for quite some time.

‘Do we have any reason to suspect they are plotting something against us?’ Steve asked.

‘We don’t want to assume the wrong thing and risk actually inspiring them.’ Natasha said.

‘You see, there’s the problem!’ Tony barked, ‘Why are we so afraid of them? They’re supposed to be on our side, dependable and loyal. Instead we’re afraid of pissing them off!?’

‘What are you saying exactly, Tony?’ Bruce asked.

Tony sighed frustratedly and ran his fingers through his hair. ‘I don’t know. I just never want to be in a situation where we’re compromised from the inside. They’re too close to each other, and they know things we do not. I don’t like that.’

‘Fine. We’ll give them other tasks to keep them occupied separately,’ Natasha suggested.

‘Like it’s school?’ Bruce said.

‘I truly think Y/N was far more focused before Loki came along.’ Tony said. 'She was responsible. Tame.'

‘We’re starting to sound like parents, ’ Natasha said. ‘I’m sure it’s nothing, but if you’re worried, we’ll occupy her in the lab and him in training facilities.’

Tony thought this was a good idea. ___________________________________________

The next morning, at breakfast, all the Avengers received an agenda sheet. It was placed on their seat at the dining table, and you were taken aback.

‘Since when do we have a timetable?’ you asked.

‘Since I saw things slacking around here,’ Tony declared. ‘We’ve got new trainees, new equipment, and new space stuff to unpack, and we’re doing nothing.’

‘You mean Loki and I are doing nothing.’

‘If the shoe fits,’ Tony said.

The agenda was clearly made for you, and the rest of the team was in on it. You looked through your sheet - which honestly wasn’t that bad. You just didn’t like being taken by surprise. Mornings in the lab testing Tony’s “space stuff.” Afternoons running any one of the Avengers’ many charity initiatives - education, rehab, food drives, what have you. And evenings pulling apart and examining weapons scavenged from aliens kindly brought to you by either Carol Danvers or Gamora.

And then you picked up Loki’s (who was sleeping late as usual). Mornings in the training facility training new recruits. Afternoons doing weapons testing with Tony. And evenings at any of the charity drives.

This was deliberate. You couldn’t fathom why the Avengers would play such games, but you weren’t about to be taken for a ride. ___________________________________________

Later in the morning, when Loki finally woke from his prolonged slumber, you told him about Tony’s passive-aggressive comment and the new agenda sheets. His green eyes flickered with the same spark of rebellion that mirrored your thoughts.

"Why the sudden change, you think?" Loki questioned.

"Control," you muttered, piecing the agenda with the prior night's conversations you had eavesdropped on through the vents—a risky yet fruitful habit. "They fear us, Loki. They're splitting us up, weakening our position."

Loki's smirk was as sly as ever, an idea brewing in the back of his mind. As he leaned closer, the proximity sent a shiver down your spine, and the air between you charged with a dangerous excitement.

"Then perhaps, my dear..." His voice dropped to a seductive whisper, his breath a warm caress against your ear. "...it's time we teach them the folly of their paranoia."

The words, scandalous and provocative, ignited something within you. Your heart thudded violently in your chest, a wild drumbeat echoing in the hollow of your ribs. It was the thrill of the forbidden, the allure of stepping into the shadows with Loki by your side, not just as a partner in crime but as a co-conspirator in a game most perilous.

His eyes locked onto yours, green fires that burned with mischief and an unspoken promise of chaos. It was an unholy proposal, stepping over a line you knew well but had never dared to cross before. And yet, as your heart raced and your thoughts spun, you realized that the decision had already been made in that fleeting heartbeat.

"Yes," you breathed out, the word less a reply and more a surrender to the exhilarating unknown. "Let's make them regret ever doubting us."

With that, your fate was sealed.

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Under the guise of your newly assigned tasks, you and Loki meticulously orchestrated your daring plan. Each task provided unique opportunities to prepare for the heist without arousing suspicion among the other Avengers.

In the mornings, Loki was stationed at the training facility, instructing new recruits in the art of combat and deception. Utilizing his godly charisma and depth of experience, he subtly wove lessons on unpredictability and misdirection into his training, skills that would prove essential in the upcoming heist. While training these recruits, Loki also discreetly surveyed the facility's layout and security details, noting any potential vulnerabilities.

In the afternoons, his task shifted to weapons testing with Tony. These sessions, fraught with the clang of metal and the buzz of new technology, provided Loki with the perfect cover to engage Tony in technical discussions, subtly extracting information about the latest security updates and the locations of key research projects, including the cloaking device. Loki used his wit to keep Tony focused on the tasks at hand, ensuring his own activities went unnoticed.

Evenings saw Loki participating in various charity drives. These engagements offered him a public face of benevolence; all the while, he used these outings to establish alibis and build trust within the community and among his team, masking his true intentions under the guise of philanthropy.

Your mornings were spent in Tony’s lab, ostensibly testing new equipment designated aptly as “space stuff.” This task was critical because it allowed you direct access to some of the most advanced technology within the Avengers’ arsenal. While your official task was to test and report on these devices, you utilized this time to familiarize yourself with the lab’s security systems and to map out a discreet path to the prototype device. Your expertise in technology helped you to handle the equipment convincingly, all while preparing for the eventual theft.

Just like Loki, you used your time at the afternoon charity drives to make connections with community members and the other Avengers, enhancing your image as a dedicated member. This wasn’t a farce - you did care about the community. But right now, you had an underlying feeling of anger and hurt that the Avengers you gave your life to were doubting your intentions. So, you networked and built connections that could be useful for creating diversions or obtaining information indirectly related to the Avengers’ operational security.

The evenings were dedicated to examining and dismantling alien weaponry, and this time was invaluable not only for understanding potential alien tech that could be repurposed to aid in your escape but also for ensuring you were updated on the latest extraterrestrial technologies that might impact your plan. ___________________________________________

Days turned into weeks. You and Loki could only ever meet at night, and though you expected a whole day of events to make you too tired to plan a heist, you were actually excited. These secret meetings were charged with an electric anticipation that both thrilled and unnerved you. What started as a time to go over your respective findings turned into something far more intimate. As you poured over maps and schematics, your discussions often went into other things. Your pasts, your stories, your motives for joining the Avengers… everything you both usually kept hidden under bravado or mischief.

Loki’s usual façade of indifference was replaced by a passionate intensity about your joint mission. It was during one of these evenings, while reviewing security layouts, that he looked up from the papers, his gaze piercing. “You know, in all my years of schemes and conquests,” he confessed, his voice a low rumble, “I’ve never felt quite as... exhilarated as I do now, planning this with you.”

These words struck a chord within you, igniting a warmth that spread through your chest.

Nights passed… you sat close to each other, naturally relaxing into each other. Soon, you moved the meetings from the facility terrace to each other’s bedrooms, comfortably laying in bed and discussing everything and nothing.

“I’m the only kid in my family to get a job’ you once revealed. ‘And now I feel like their lives all depend on me.’

It’s true that you were more focused and serious before Loki came in. But that was because you never allowed yourself to do anything else but meet the expectations of your family. Loki was a breath of fresh air. The child you wished you could be for once.

You didn’t have to explain all that to him. After you spilled your secret, Loki pulled you closer to him and stroked your head softly as you fell asleep. As you drifted off in his safe and warm embrace, you thanked Tony for his harsh comments. Were it not for him, you and Loki might never have bonded this way.

But a day after that fact occurred to you, your mind began to wander. Was this love destined, or was it just something that happened due to an unfavorable circumstance?

Did he realize he was in danger? Were you his escape plan?

With this deepening connection came a vulnerability that was new to both of you. The fear of betrayal, so ingrained in both your natures, loomed large as the day of the heist approached. Could you truly trust Loki with your heart, just as you were trusting him with your life?

___________________________________________

The night before the heist, as you both sat back after hours of meticulous planning, Loki turned to you with a seriousness that was rare for him. “No matter what happens,” he said, his voice steady and sincere, “I want you to know that I... I value this. Us. More than I thought possible.”

His admission was a confession, and in the dim light of your secluded meeting spot, you allowed yourself a moment to truly look at him—not as the God of Mischief or an Avenger, but as a man who had unexpectedly become so much more. The stakes were higher now.

Could this connection you created in the night - in the seclusion of the terrace and the safe confines of your bedroom - last in daylight?

___________________________________________

4 PM.

Your heart hammered as you bypassed the final security protocols and laid your hands on the prototype device, its field of light flickering with the promise of freedom. With the device secured, you slipped away to meet Loki at the designated rendezvous point, ready to disappear. As per today’s schedule, the Avengers were all at a school for at-risk youths, so it would be hours before anybody even realized what had happened.

As you ran, the back of the backpack hitting you with every step, you felt a sense of dread in your stomach. Why didn’t this feel exhilarating? Why didn’t it feel freeing?

You reached the entrance and saw Loki in your getaway car - a dark green sports Jaguar with the top town. The feeling of unease did not rest when you saw his face. The plan had gone too smoothly. Was it all too convenient?

Your own thoughts a traitor to you, your heart sank as you opened those doors and jumped into his car. He put his lips to yours in absolute delight, barely able to stop smiling as he planted kiss after kiss on your face.

"Are you with me, truly?" you found yourself asking, voice edged with a fear you hated to admit.

Loki's expression softened, a hand reaching out to cup your cheek. "Always," he reassured.

The escape was a blur—for a moment, you forgot your reservations and reveled in the thrill of the wind in your hair. It was so romantic. So powerful. As night closed in and you left the sparkling city, the car drove into the darkness, but your heart was never lighter. His hand was on your thigh, and the music in your mind swelled as you imagined a whole new life with him. You were his savior, and he was yours.

But the high soon crashed.

As you reached the motel you decided to spend the night at, you looked over at him, and your heart sank again. The love was only alive in safe spaces. In comfortable places where it was nobody else’s business.

You got out of the car and checked into your room - cash only. The room was nothing grand - it didn’t have to be. It would suffice until your contact made you fake passports, and you could get the hell out of the country.

Loki did suggest simply teleporting the pair of you to Asgard, but that would hardly be a safe place to hide. And besides… why would he make such a ridiculous suggestion? Because he expected it to be shut down? Was your plan - your dream - to run away to somewhere in Asia and live a simple life actually his plot all along? And which god would agree to a simple life? Was it a ploy to make you feel safe before he betrayed you and left with the cloaking device?

Questions upon questions filled your head. You weren’t sure if you were being your own worst enemy, so you decided to sleep on it. Loki asked if you wanted to get a drink at the motel bar, but you just wanted to creep under the covers and sleep the adrenaline off. He didn’t protest - he wanted you to be comfortable.

It only made you more paranoid. Why didn’t he care enough to insist on a celebratory drink? Was he going to take this time to plot his escape?

If betrayal were inevitable, you’d strike first.

As soon as you heard the door click shut, you leaped out of bed and got dressed. You grabbed the bag with the device and the car keys and ran to the door. Then you paused… if you left right now, Loki wouldn’t stop looking for you. And nowhere on earth would be safe from a god.

With a heavy heart, you called the Avengers facility from the motel landline.

___________________________________________

You watched from the shadows as Loki drank his whiskey all alone. Your heart ached as you turned the key in the ignition, and the engine roared to life. Maybe it wasn’t too late… maybe you could grab him from the motel bar, drag him to the car, and keep running.

Those hopes were dashed when you saw the Iron Suit’s unmistakable lights draw closer to the motel. For a moment you looked back at Loki to mouth a silent apology. He managed to lock eyes with you for a split second, confused and hurt, before the roof crashed in on him.

Nothing good starts in a getaway car.

___________________________________________

I hope this is similar to what you wanted <3

Feel free to leave requests here, and you can find my Masterlist here <3

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston x you #loki x you #loki x reader #loki fanfic #taylor swift #taylor swift reputation #getaway car #loki marvel #mcu loki #loki laufeyson #tva loki

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gunkreads · 4 months

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Probably a nit i'm picking here but I've noticed that when people's praise of a story annoys me, it's almost always because they're praising an individual element of that story that, in my eyes, doesn't fit into a cohesive whole or add anything to a larger narrative structure or set of themes.

I feel like it's very easy to find individual elements of storytelling--in my experience, usually worldbuilding details or elements of character arcs--that absolutely floor you. Pretty often, a story will have several of those elements, sometimes in a row! They don't make a story good.

What's the in between? Where do we go on the way from point to point? Are these compelling revelations or arcs presented with adequate lead-in and follow-through, or do they appear from nowhere? Do facts about the setting get insinuated before and after they're explicitly revealed, or are they presented to you and subsequently ignored?

The latter cases of these usually end up coming together to make stories that are fucking GREAT to talk about and reflect on, but a little painful to actually read, watch, listen to, or play critically. One of my all-time favorite TV shows is a prime culprit of this: Into the Badlands. It's a show full of the baddest ass ideas on paper that just don't get executed all that well. Shit comes outta nowhere, but when it's on screen, it's awesome! Then it's gone and forgotten. I love the show a lot, but it's just not stitched together well.

Another great example: Destiny. This game/series is infamous for having a story told almost entirely offscreen. There's a reason the Grimoire (effectively all the written background lore) is published as its own collection of books. The problem is, none of these amazing stories are delivered well-- and by "well", I mean "at all". It's a video game whose primary story is incredibly basic, but has a shitballs bonkers universe of history behind it that makes that main story goddamn insanely compelling! That history, though, is told almost exclusively through in-game, completely skippable text files. It's provided many a deep and mellifluous British youtube narrator with an entire decade long career of turning the written lore into narrated slideshows. But if you only play Destiny (yknow, the thing you're supposed to do with a game), that shit's straight up not there! It's certainly gotten better at times (Witch Queen), but it's a bad average. Hell, it's a bad median.

This isn't about ideas that conflict or are dissonant; I've found plenty of stories that pull dissonant ideas together into a compelling whole (cough cough Wheel of Time). This is about stories that can't deliver all those ideas in a cohesive way, and it's about how eager fans tend to be to praise a story that's a pile of shiny parts on the floor. You don't walk into the junkyard to see a pile of disassembled parts and say "What a nice car", you say "This engine could run, these tires have plenty of tread, this strut's bearings are still good". A story made of quality components is not automatically a good story. One of the best functions of fandom is to collaboratively assemble that car, though! We just need to acknowledge that the pile on the ground is not a car.

Here's my call to action: check the fucking glue. What's holding the good elements of a story together? How do these things tie in thematically to each other, and how are they juxtaposed within the linear narrative that makes those ties effective? Does the message of one good element overlap significantly with another, and does that overlap weaken or strengthen each element? Is the story using its medium well, or at all?

Enjoyment of a story has little relationship with how cohesive the narrative is; I think we all know that by now. I still think it's worthwhile to ask yourself whether your story is a good STORY or a collection of good IDEAS.

#top 10 inane gunk posts in history

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samasmith23 · 1 year

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Doctor Octopus unmasking Spider-Man in Web of Death

So here’s something I always found fascinating about the brilliant Web of Death storyline from the otherwise infamous Spider-Man: Clone Saga!

This was actually the first time since the classic Stan Lee & Steve Ditko Amazing Spider-Man era where Doctor Octopus had unmasked Spider-Man, except Otto had completely different reactions when discovering it was Peter Parker underneath the mask.

In Amazing Spider-Man (1963) #12, Peter was forced to fight Doc Ock when the latter kidnapped Betty Brant, but his spider-powers were significantly weakened due to him coming down with the flu. Octavius was shocked that he had defeated Spidey so easily considering that the latter put up quite a challenge when they fought in the previous issue. So when Otto unmasked Spider-Man to only discover it was Peter underneath, he simply assumed Peter was a weakling imposter instead of the actual Spider-Man (a misunderstanding which also fooled Betty and even J. Jonah Jameson).

Conversely in Web of Death, Otto had taken notice of Spider-Man’s drastic change in behavior. He was deeply disturbed by Spidey's grim-&-gritty “I am the Spider” phase, reminiscing on the once good and noble adversary whom over the years Otto had built up a twisted level of respect towards.

So when Otto confirms that the rumors of Spidey dying of an incurable virus administered by the Vulture during the previous story arc Back From The Edge are indeed true, Octavius unmasks Spidey and takes him back to this lab in order to create an antidote that will save Peter’s life.

Only this time Otto actually believes that Peter and Spider-Man are one and the same person, even reflecting back on the time he previously unmasked Peter back in Amazing Spider-Man (1963) #12 and questioning to himself why he didn't believe he Peter was Spider-Man back then.

I really loved this clever nod to the Lee & Ditko era, as it felt like a perfect book-ending at the time to Peter & Otto’s rivalry at the time considering that Peter's clone Kaine would later snap Doctor Octopus’ neck at the very end of the arc.

While many people complained about Doctor Octopus’s death at the hands of Kaine in the Web of Death being too sudden and poorly thought out, I’ve personally always disagreed with that criticism. Not only because the writers J.M. DeMatteis & Tom DeFalco dedicated 4 entire issues to fleshing out Otto Octavius’ relationship and history with Spider-Man (i.e. having him save Peter from death, because in his own twisted way he believed that continuously fighting someone as noble as Spidey provided him a connection to his own past humanity), but also because from a thematic perspective the narrative repeatedly built up Kaine as this shadowy figure watching all the events from afar, acting like a stalking predator waiting for the opportune moment to strike its prey. In essence Web of Death frames Kaine as the looming shadow of death itself. This framing is further enhanced through Kaine’s inner monologues about wanting to preserve Peter & Mary Jane’s happiness whilst seeing Doctor Octopus and his lover Stunner as a threat to said-happiness.

So when Otto Octavius final does cure Peter of the virus that was killing him and announces his intentions to continue fighting Spidey in an endless loop (to satisfy his own warped vision of the connection that he and Peter now share) as he voluntarily allows himself to be arrested, it only makes sense thematically for Kaine to sweep in and finally eliminate the threat to Peter’s happiness.

And while I will concede that the brawl between Otto & Kaine is rather quick, I do honestly really love how their fight is contrasted with scenes of Peter & MJ constructing a crib for their soon-to-be-born child (Web of Death was the story that revealed MJ’s pregnancy), conveying that while Peter had escaped the clutches of death and was finally embracing life, Otto’s nihilistic obsession with continuously fighting Spidey resulted in his own demise.

Plus, having Kaine kill Doc Ock helps to further elevate his threat level as an antagonist to Peter Parker & Ben Reilly, since while the previous villain Kaine killed in the corresponding story Web of Life, the Grim Hunter (aka, the then-late Kraven the Hunter’s son, Vladimir Kravinoff), was a minor d-lister, Octavius was both a heavy-hitter and one of Spidey’s oldest and deadliest enemies!

Overall, Web of Death holds a special place in my heart since this 4-part storyline was actually the very first part of The Clone Saga I ever read in full due to the single issues being available and cheap at the time on ComiXology, and I had heard about Otto’s death in these issues as a little kid through my old Spider-Man character guidebooks and encyclopedias. And reading this arc not only gave me an even greater appreciation for Otto Octavius’s relationship with Spider-Man that I hadn’t experienced in the comics since Dan Slott’s run on Superior Spider-Man (I honestly can't help but wonder if Otto's characterization in Web of Death partially influenced Slott's later portrayal of the character) but the it was also my first official introduction to the writing of J.M. DeMatteis, who’s since become one of my top 5 all-time favorite comic authors!

#spider man #peter parker #doctor octopus #doc ock #otto octavius #kaine parker #clone saga #web of death #superior spider man #stan lee #steve ditko #jm dematteis #tom defalco #mark bagley #sal buscema #stunner #dan slott #90s comics #mini essay

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zapreportsblog · 1 year

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↱ opposites attract ↰

➘ summary : (y/n) is an avenger in training, she works closely with Steve rogers and Bucky Barnes because she too is a super solider, one of the newest types hydra has created. She can reach faster speeds, has stronger scenes and even powers. Unlike the two men she was grown in a lab and taught their ways from a young age but now that she’s under the avengers belt they’ll do all that they can to make sure she further grows up using her her abilities for the greater good; only problem with that is she’s no longer in their timeline much less their world. Tony’s newest invention sends her to another world known as pandora, now how ever will she survive on her own without her two super soldier guardians by her side. Will she make it on her own? Is she even truly alone in this mysterious world? And why is this blue boy constantly following her around?!

➘ a/n : that’s a mouthful I know but with great reason, I needed you guys to understand that what’s to come before I actually start writing this story

➘ prologue : the creations beginning and end

The Avengers gathered in the high-tech conference room of the Avengers Compound, their attention focused on the large holographic screen at the front. Director Nick Fury's stern image appeared, his eye patch a testament to his years of experience and dedication.

"Avengers," Fury's voice carried an air of gravity, "we've received intel indicating that Hydra has established a new pop-up base in a remote region of Eastern Europe. Our sources indicate that this base is linked to experiments involving advanced weaponry and genetic manipulation."

Natasha Romanoff, also known as Black Widow, leaned forward, her eyes narrowing as she absorbed the information. "Any specifics on their objectives?"

Fury nodded, and the holographic screen changed to display a series of images and documents. "Hydra seems to be developing a bioweapon capable of targeting specific individuals. We believe they are using advanced genetic manipulation techniques to create enhanced soldiers for their cause."

Steve Rogers, Captain America, frowned. "This sounds like a significant threat."

Fury's gaze hardened. "It is. We've managed to infiltrate their communications network, but we don't have much time. We need to strike now before they can finalize their experiments."

Wanda Maximoff, the Scarlet Witch, glanced at the images on the screen, her brows furrowing. "How do they plan to deploy this bioweapon?"

Fury tapped a button, and a map of the pop-up base's location appeared. "Our satellite imagery shows that the base is situated near a major urban center. We believe Hydra intends to use the bioweapon in a populated area to cause chaos and sow fear."

Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier, clenched his metal fist. "We can't let that happen."

Fury's expression was grim. "Exactly. The safety of countless lives depends on your success. Our objective is to infiltrate the base, disable the experiments, and extract any valuable intel. However, we have reason to believe that the base is heavily guarded, and its defenses are no joke."

Thor, the God of Thunder, leaned back in his chair, his gaze contemplative. "What of their leadership?"

Fury's lips curled into a thin smile. "That's where things get interesting. We've learned that Baron von Strucker, a high-ranking Hydra operative, is overseeing the operations. Taking him down would significantly weaken their hold."

Vision, the android with a synthetic soul, raised an eyebrow. "Our strategy?"

Fury's image nodded. "You'll be split into two teams. One will focus on infiltrating the base and disabling the experiments, while the other will target Strucker. We'll provide you with tactical support and the latest technology."

Clint Barton, Hawkeye, spoke up. "And what's the timeline?"

Fury's expression was stern. "You leave in 48 hours. Prepare yourselves and coordinate with your respective teams. This mission is high-risk, but your success is crucial."

As the holographic screen faded, the Avengers exchanged determined glances. The stakes were high, but they were a team forged in the fires of adversity. With each member bringing their unique skills and unwavering resolve to the table, they knew that they would stop at nothing to ensure Hydra's plans were thwarted and the innocent lives were protected.

As the holographic screen faded, the Avengers remained seated, their expressions resolute and focused. The weight of the mission hung heavily in the air, but their determination burned brighter.

Steve Rogers, Captain America, broke the silence. "We've faced Hydra before, and we've taken down their operations. This won't be any different."

Tony Stark, Iron Man, leaned back in his chair, his trademark smirk playing on his lips. "Plus, I've been itching for some action. Time to test out the latest upgrades on the suit."

Natasha Romanoff, Black Widow, nodded in agreement. "We'll need to coordinate carefully, gather as much intel as possible, and strike at the right moment."

Wanda Maximoff, the Scarlet Witch, raised her hand, her fingers glowing faintly with energy. "I can use my powers to create distractions and disrupt their defenses."

Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier, clenched his jaw. "I'll be on point for the infiltration team. I've got experience with their tactics."

Vision, ever analytical, spoke calmly. "I can analyze the base's security systems and provide real-time updates to the teams."

Thor, the God of Thunder, swung his mighty hammer to his side. "Fear not, my friends. We shall bring the storm to their doorstep."

Clint Barton, Hawkeye, twirled an arrow between his fingers. "And I'll be picking off any targets that come our way."

As the Avengers discussed strategy and tactics, their camaraderie and shared purpose were palpable. Each member brought their unique skills and strengths to the table, and their bond as a team was unbreakable.

Director Fury's voice came over the intercom, breaking into their planning. "Get some rest, Avengers. You've got a big day ahead."

Over the next 48 hours, the Avengers prepared for the mission ahead. They underwent intense training sessions, reviewed blueprints of the base, and fine-tuned their equipment. They gathered intelligence and analyzed every detail, leaving nothing to chance.

The day of the mission arrived. The teams assembled in the hangar of the Avengers Compound, suited up and ready for action. Their expressions were resolute, their determination unwavering.

Fury's image appeared on a screen, addressing them one last time before they departed. "Remember, the world is counting on you. Good luck."

With a final nod, the teams split up and boarded their respective aircraft. The engines roared to life, and the Avengers took to the skies, bound for the remote region in Eastern Europe.

As they neared the pop-up base, their hearts raced with a mix of anticipation and adrenaline. The mission was dangerous, the odds stacked against them, but they were the Avengers, Earth's mightiest heroes, and they would stop at nothing to ensure Hydra's plans were crushed.

The battle ahead would test their mettle, challenge their skills, and demand their unwavering resolve. But together, as a united force, they were ready to face whatever Hydra threw their way.

The Avengers infiltrated the pop-up base with precision, their teamwork and skills in full display as they fought their way through Hydra's defenses. Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanoff, Steve Rogers, and Wanda Maximoff moved in sync, taking down guards and disabling security systems with calculated efficiency.

As they advanced deeper into the base, their attention was drawn to a hidden stairway at the end of a dimly lit corridor. The faint sound of eerie whispers seemed to emanate from the depths below. Intrigued and cautious, the group exchanged glances before descending the stairs, their weapons at the ready.

The stairway led them to an underground chamber, its walls adorned with ancient sigils that pulsed with an otherworldly energy. Talismans hung from the ceiling, casting an eerie glow that illuminated the room. Blood stains marred the floor, leading their eyes to a heavy metal door at the far end.

Steve's brows furrowed, his heightened instincts sensing danger. "This doesn't feel right," he muttered, his voice low.

Natasha's trained eyes scanned the area, her senses alert. "Agreed. We need to be cautious."

Bucky's grip tightened on his weapon as he eyed the talismans warily. "These symbols... they're definitely tied to something supernatural."

Wanda's powers tingled with recognition, her connection to the mystical realm allowing her to sense the hidden forces at play. "There's magic here, ancient and potent."

As they approached the metal door, they noticed the deep grooves of blood-stained trails leading to it. The door itself appeared to be reinforced with heavy locks and bolts, a barrier that held secrets they could only imagine.

Natasha leaned in to inspect the blood stains, her jaw set. "Someone—or something—was dragged through here."

Steve's jaw clenched. "We need to find out what's behind that door. It could be connected to Hydra's experiments."

With a collective nod, Bucky took the lead, using his enhanced strength to push open the door. The hinges creaked ominously, revealing a room shrouded in shadows.

As they stepped inside, their senses were assaulted by a cold, oppressive atmosphere. In the center of the room, an intricate ritual circle had been drawn, its lines pulsating with a malevolent energy. Candles flickered along the edges, casting dancing shadows on the walls.

Wanda's eyes widened as her powers reacted to the magical energy in the air. "This is dark magic, ancient and forbidden."

Natasha's gaze focused on a heavy, ornate table in the corner, upon which rested a blood-stained book. "That book... it might hold the key to what's been happening here."

Steve's expression hardened. "Let's secure that book and gather any evidence we can. We need to stop Hydra's plans."

As they moved to collect the book, their every movement seemed to disturb the unnatural stillness in the air. The atmosphere grew more oppressive, and the shadows seemed to writhe with an unsettling sentience.

Suddenly, a sinister voice echoed through the chamber, sending shivers down their spines. "Intruders, you trespass upon sacred ground."

They turned to face the source of the voice, their eyes narrowing as a figure stepped out of the shadows. Clad in tattered robes, the figure's eyes glowed with a malevolent light, and its presence radiated power beyond their comprehension.

As the Avengers faced this new threat, the air crackled with tension. The sigils on the walls seemed to pulse with renewed vigor, and the battle that loomed ahead promised to be unlike anything they had ever encountered.

The figure in the shadows proved to be a formidable adversary, their dark magic and otherworldly strength putting the Avengers on the defensive. Bucky, Steve, Wanda, and Natasha fought valiantly, their combined skills and teamwork allowing them to hold their own against the sinister force that opposed them.

As they clashed in the dimly lit chamber, the air crackled with energy. Bucky's metal arm clashed with the figure's conjured shadows, Steve's shield deflected bursts of dark magic, Wanda's crimson energy met the malevolent aura head-on, and Natasha's precision strikes tested the figure's agility.

Amidst the intense battle, Tony Stark's voice crackled through their comm devices. "Guys, I've got some information for you. We managed to dig up a profile on your opponent. It's not looking good."

Bucky grunted as he blocked a surge of dark energy, his eyes narrowing at the figure. "Spill it, Stark."

Tony's voice was grim. "The subject was created using a combination of dark and arcane magic, along with accidental magic events. They've got a body strong enough to contain what's described as the most powerful demon from the underworld. Subject designation is 666, but they've given her the human name (Y/N)."

The revelation hung heavy in the air as the Avengers continued their fight. The figure's sinister laughter echoed through the chamber, mingling with the clash of combat.

Wanda's eyes glowed with a fierce determination as she used her powers to create a barrier against an incoming onslaught. "If she's housing a demon, we need to stop her before it's unleashed."

Natasha's voice was determined as she landed a powerful kick. "Then let's end this."

Steve's shield shattered a burst of dark magic as he spoke over the comm. "Tony, find us a way to neutralize that demon. We can't let it be set loose."

Tony's response was swift. "Already on it. Just focus on taking down (Y/N)."

As the battle raged on, the Avengers pushed their limits, their determination unwavering. They knew that their opponents' dark power was unlike anything they had faced before, but they were the Earth's mightiest heroes for a reason. With each strike, each coordinated move, they fought not only for their own lives, but to prevent the demon within (Y/N) from wreaking havoc upon the world.

The chamber echoed with the clash of forces, shadows dancing across the walls as the fate of their mission hung in the balance. With Tony working on a solution and their combined strength, the Avengers were determined to emerge victorious and thwart Hydra's dark plans once and for all.

Exhausted but determined, the Avengers managed to land a series of precise blows on (Y/N), eventually knocking her unconscious. The chamber echoed with the sounds of their efforts, the eerie energy slowly dissipating as the battle came to an end.

Bucky knelt down beside (Y/N), his gaze fixed on her unconscious form. "We can't just leave her here," he said, his voice tinged with concern.

Natasha, standing nearby, crossed her arms. "Barnes, she almost killed us. We can't afford to show her mercy."

Steve stepped forward, his expression thoughtful. "Bucky has a point. If she's an experiment of Hydra's, leaving her here could come back to haunt us."

Wanda added her perspective, her voice calm yet determined. "We could take her with us, place her in a cell with the same sigils and talismans Hydra used. It seems to have contained her before."

Natasha's gaze hardened, her skepticism clear. "If this backfires and she escapes, don't come crying to me. I'm all for stopping Hydra, but dealing with an unstable, powerful individual like her is a whole other level."

As a team, the Avengers made the decision to bring (Y/N) with them. With caution and care, they bound her securely, ensuring that she would pose no immediate threat. They placed her in a specially designed containment unit, etching the same sigils and talismans onto the walls to mimic the binding magic that had been used in the chamber.

As they prepared to leave the base, Steve's voice carried a note of caution. "Let's make sure she's monitored at all times. We can't afford any surprises."

With their captured adversary secured, the Avengers retreated from the underground chamber, making their way back to the surface. Their expressions were a mix of weariness and determination, knowing that the battle might be over, but the larger conflict against Hydra's dark experiments still raged on.

As they emerged into the dim light of day, they carried the weight of their decisions, aware that they had taken a dangerous being into their custody. The road ahead was uncertain, and they would have to face the consequences of their actions. But as the Earth's mightiest heroes, they were committed to doing whatever it took to protect the world from the threats that sought to tear it apart.

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nightingaletrash · 2 years

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I am once again thinking about a Dragon Cult faction in Skyrim and the dragons being intelligent conquerors rather than random monsters that pop up from time to time, all thanks to Vox Machina so yeah I’m gonna ramble :p

Alduin uses Helgen as his chance to declare his intentions, that his dominion over Tamriel has begun and Skyrim will be the first to kneel. The survivors of Helgen flee and begin to spread the word of what they saw and what was promised. Skyrim is torn by the story as it spreads; there’s hysteria, there’s denial, there’s a frenzy to prepare, and a steadfast refusal to engage with the story at all. People are either terrified or they’re convinced it’s complete hogwash until they see it with their own eyes.

Ulfric knows the legends well enough to recognise the threat and the Stormcloaks are also familiar with Alduin’s story, so they take the threat significantly more seriously than Tullius and the Legion, who aren’t quite so readily familiar with the tales and need convincing by the likes of Rikke and other Nords in the ranks to treat the situation with the full gravitas it deserves. It’s a serious threat, yes, but they don’t realise just how significant Alduin’s return is and what it means for Tamriel on the whole.

During the lull after Alduin’s arrival, Mirmulnir was planning to take Whiterun for himself and was systematically weakening the city's defences before launching his assault, only to end up encountering the one person who could truly kill him. Word of a Dragonborn spreads rapidly and before long, so do the dragons. They rise from their graves and abandon their long-forgotten hiding places, and they take to the sky, intent on taking back what’s their’s.

Falkreath is the first to bend its knee because Siddgeir isn't so stupid that he thinks he can best a dragon, and surely there'll be some benefit to capitulating, just like there was when he sided with the Imperials. He'll take whatever he can get and becomes the first modern Dragon Priest, all to ensure that he retains his power as well as his life. The Dragonborn isn’t safe in Falkreath, not until it seems that there’s an earnest chance that they can best the ancient dragon that resides there. Siddgeir will always throw his lot in with the winning side after all... Whether his doublecrossing actually serves him depends on how the Dragonborn chooses to handle the situation.

Meanwhile Winterhold and Dawnstar are mostly ignored by the first wave of dragons. There are bigger prizes elsewhere. Only once the best territories have been claimed does anyone take an interest in the north, and still Dawnstar doesn’t tract much attention. Winterhold, however, finds itself in a tricky situation - the dragon that arrives is one with a thirst for knowledge. It’s shrewd, cunning, and apparently indifferent to Alduin’s desire to conquer Skyrim. It barters with the Archmage over the Jarl. It offers the College protection from the local Nords and others that might do them wrong, its own knowledge of history and magic, and secrets known only to a dragon. In exchange, they share their secrets with it and let it learn from their troves of knowledge. It’ll leave the village alone provided the people there don’t cause trouble; it doesn’t care to rule. It just wants to learn and be left in peace. It’s a deal that seems almost too good to be true, and the mages can’t tell if this dragon is just like them or if it’s plotting something terrible.

Riften is initially prepared for a dragon to arrive on account of the Stormcloaks preparing the city ahead of time. Then it storms for days on end, a relentless torrent of rain and lightning. People swear they hear a voice in the thunder as their streets flood and the Nords in town put two and two together. Some advise that they should make offerings to try and persuade the dragon to put a stop to the storm. Gold, jewels, whatever meat they can get - they offer it all if it means the storm will stop. And for a time it does... until Jarl Laila puts her foot down and puts a stop to the offerings. Appeasing a dragon won’t save them, after all. And so the storm resumes as it did before, and people are afraid and angry. But still, anyone caught making offerings is punished, and the storms grow worse with every person jailed, so people leave to seek out the beast to offer themselves in service. They become its eyes and ears in the city and report to it when the Dragonborn arrives. When they do, they’re sent to extend an invitation to Laila just as she’s requesting them to hunt down the dragon and slay it; it requests a parley in neutral territory with Laila. It’s up to the Dragonborn to decide whether Riften remains free or if it falls under the control of the dragon.

Markarth is a tempting target, but the city's architecture makes it a tough nut to crack. They have all the steel they need for weapons manufacturing, and are prepared for a siege thanks to the Civil War. To complicate matters, the Reachfolk are as much a problem for the dragons as they are for the Nords; freedom runs in their veins and they wouldn't give it up for anyone. Not for the Nords, and not for a bunch of big ol' lizards either. Any dragon trying to take territory in the Reach has their work cut out for them, both inside the walls and out.

Morthal ends up under dragon control pretty quickly, much like Falkreath. Igrod knows that her tiny community stands no chance at all, so she makes an offering just before the dragon shows up and assumes her role as Dragon Priest. But she's not simply rolling over like Siddgeir. She's biding her time and protecting her people the only way she can, waiting for the one person that can save them.

Solitude and Windhelm remain free on account of the power they've each marshalled. They're both powerful enough to ward off the threat for now, but it won't last forever. Especially if the dragons seize more and more territories.

Other small settlements fall as easily as Morthal and Falkreath, with the communities swiftly capitulating to the dragons that arrive in the hopes of being spared; Kynesgrove only narrowly avoids that fate. People were preparing to bring offerings to the Dragonmound and instead see their would-be-ruler slain once he’s barely fresh from the grave. The villagers are some of the only people in Skyrim that the Dragonborn and the Blades can trust for safe shelter if they’re passing through the area.

With Whiterun and Kynesgrove standing free, along with any other cities that the Dragonborn has chosen to liberate or has a dragon ruling in their name over Alduin’s, the dragons are more than aware that they have an adversary out there, but those that have established themselves and their territory are unwilling to depart in search of them. Instead they use intermediaries; some want the Dragonborn dead to be presented to Alduin at Skuldafn, others think they could be a useful tool or ally, while others are just interested in securing their borders against any potential threats.

#nightingale rambles #skyrim #dragon cult faction #alduin #too many thoughts. too big.#the ideas i have for riften could be a post on its own #and markarth would present some great ideas for its own storyline #and just the idea that each city you tackle - whether you kill the dragon or turn it to your side - in turn progresses the story #and causes change in the world?#ahhhh i love it #like you could kill the dragons. persuade them to leave the cities and leave mortals alone.#or let them continue to rule but in your name instead of alduin's #and all the while the imperials and stormcloaks are still trying to beat the shit out of each other #because yes the world might be ending and we're trying to protect ourselves against the dragons #but fuck you you're still going down

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kvothbloodless · 11 months

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I sadly have neither the free time nor the mental energy to commit to learning how to/playing in a Pathfinder campaign, but if you wanna talk about it, I would absolutely love to know more about what sort of story it is and how your players are ruining Calernia

Shockingly, they havent done Much ruining yet, though theyre about to fight a (significantly weakened) Demon, so who can say. I cant reveal Too much of the plot, because despite the fact that were like a dozen+ sessions in, theyre only Just about to learn what the fuck is actually going on.

But the basics is that the campaign is set a little under a year after the Conquest, with a major timeline divergance that like, Wouldnt have actually happened, is a totally plausible thing that could have happened if various small things had lined up correctly.

Currently, the party (only 4 so far) consists of 3 transitional Names and one Potentially transitional Name. Theyve been dealing with a Named (claiment) thats part of a lesser branch of the Sahelians, whos causing trouble in South Eastern Procer (around Temerife) with a flying castle (and clearly involved with a larger group of villains, but party doesnt know what thats about yet).

Anyways, an older hero (the Careful Swordsmaster) led them against Folami Sahlian. They crashed her castle into the ground while keeping all of the various bound monsters (most of which were pathfinder beasties like undead that infect those they kill or shit like Gloomwings which lay rapidly growing eggs in corpses to make more Gloomwings) in their bindings, so that most died when the castle crashed. This was at the cost of letting Folami get away, and setting them up for a losing pattern of three by doing so.

But, they did stop the castle from dropping on a small town or any of the class-S threats escape. So now they get to fight the Demon Folami had bound in the rubble! Im sure this will go great for them! And especially for the older, grizzled hero whos taken on a mentorship role to them!

#practical guide to evil #pgte #pathfinder #ttrpg

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nemesisthetoy · 9 months

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Blizzard (mini story below the cut)

Clouds gathered in the distance as the sun fell beyond the horizon, the cool of the evening sending shivers through the young Muto.

He had taken to the skies yet again with his Skullcrawler companion, as the Alpha had drawn near to their last residence, no doubt having tracked them down as he did so many times over the past months.

By this point the Muto had become entuned with his "radiation sense" to learn whenever a Titan was coming for them, which in turn gave the pair just enough time to flee before any damage was done.

Was this cowardice or wisdom, he couldn't say, but he could never shake the feeling that he wasn't ready to defeat this Demon just yet.

Until he could stack the variables in his favor, the Muto decided that it would be best to keep moving, lest another confrontation with the Spiked Titan leave him temporarily grounded again, or worse.

...

The Skullcrawler clung tightly to her Muto companion, even more so than usual when flying.

In the past few days the average temperature seemed to have dropped significantly, which left the cold-blooded Titan in a slower and weaker state when improperly heated.

This semi-hibernation state came out of nowhere for the young Skullcrawler, as the APEX lab she was born in was ventilated for the humans' convenience, which meant she was utterly unprepared to deal with it.

As it would turn out, heat sources were few and far between on the pair's travels, with the only consistent source being Diamond-Head himself.

This, in turn, more or less meant that her companion was now solely responsible for the pair's survival, as she simply didn't have the energy at this point to help much.

She wished she could do more, as she hated the idea of being a burden on the already struggling Muto, but at this point nature itself had told her to take a backseat for now.

...

After a few hours of flying the Muto finally found a place to stop for the night.

It was an island that was completely devoid of any life whatsoever, being nothing more than a giant pile of rocks in the middle of the vast ocean.

It was less than hospitable, but at this point any rest stop was better than none.

Usually when he came in for a landing, his companion would hop off a few meters above the ground while he descended in a circular motion, but this time they held on the whole way down.

"That's odd", the Muto thought to himself, but he made no effort to remove the Skullcrawler.

They didn't dismount until he had actually landed, and even then, they stayed directly under him while they were tending the rocks below them.

...

When 13 first left the lab, her instincts were virtually nonexistent.

Yet for one time in her life they had decided to finally whisper something to her, "dig."

She didn't know why or for what purpose a rock pit would serve, but feeling the need to do something, she followed them and began to rearrange the rocks into a pit large enough to fit both her and 'Diamond-Head'.

Her companion stared curiously at her but eventually picked up on what she was doing, even going so far as to help move some of the larger boulders that the weakened Skullcrawler was struggling to move.

By the time they finished only the faint glow of the moon illuminated their work, barely breaking though the ever-thickening cloud barrier.

The Skullcrawler gestured to her companion to lie down in the pit they just dug, which the tired Muto complied with.

She then took some of the rocks and piled them over the Muto, something which confused him but still went along with.

Finally, she dug through the pile, crawled under the left wing of her companion, and huddled up right against his torso.

Throughout the pair's journeys, the two companions had learned a few phrases from the other, one of which was the Muto goodnight.

“Thank you for everything today.” she said with a grin before closing her eyes.

“Thank you for everything today.” he said before nestling closer to his cold companion.

...

While the pair slept, the clouds above them prepared to unleash their hard work towards the ground below.

The frigid air around them turned what was going to be a torrential down pour into a frigid blizzard that pounded the surface below with a flurry of snow.

The wind blew and soon the entire island was coated with a thick layer of snow.

The Titan pair on the other hand, hardly noticed the storm.

When the snow hit the rocks that covered the pair it filled in the gaps between the stones creating an insulated blanket that shielded the Titans from the bulk of the cold wind and snow.

That, combined with the body heat resonating from the Muto, created a perfect little heat bubble within the ground for the tired pair.

...

Morning arrived soon enough to the small island, but instead of bright sun beams descending from above, there was a matte grey fog that covered everything as far as any eye could see.

The skies themselves weren't faring any better, as despite the heavy snowfall during the night, the dull cloud cover still hadn't dissipated at all.

The temperature was still well below freezing, and snow was still falling.

Worse yet was the horrific wind, which when combined with all the previous factors, made for an absolutely miserable day for anyone caught outside.

The Titanic pair, sealed away in their warm pocket in the ground, had no idea just how bad it was on the surface, and soon enough awoke with the intention of continuing their journey for a new, more suitable home.

...

The Muto was the first to awaken and was very well rested for having slept through a blizzard while covered in rocks.

The first thing he needed to do was wake his companion so that they may continue their trip before the Spiked Titan could catch up to them.

He wiggled his left wing, slowly stirring the sleeping Skullcrawler awake.

They moved very slowly and only had their eyes halfway open, but the Muto decided that it would have to do as they needed to get moving.

Together the pair moved the rocks with their heads to view the outside, and almost immediately regretted it.

The icy cold wind was howling with such ferocity, snowflakes blew directly into their faces, what little moisture was in the air suddenly began to freeze against the Skullcrawler's bare skull, forming an icicle beard of sorts.

Even a few seconds exposed in these conditions made it abundantly clear that this was not the day to be caught flying.

The pair exchanged a glance and almost immediately could tell that the other was thinking the same thing, “sleep through this storm.”

So, the pair quickly worked together to recollect the rocks they had moved back on top of them.

Almost immediately after they did, snow filled whatever gaps there were, re-insulating them from the harsh blizzard.

The companions huddled together, shivering while waiting for the Muto's natural body heat to once again warm up their small little shelter.

Once that had happened, they drifted back into their dreams while holding their companion in a tight warm embrace.

...

A couple of days later, the Alpha Titan Gojira had reached his destination, the small rock island where he believed the rogue titans had fled to.

He looked around, but there were no black wings fleeing the scene this time, nor was there anywhere that Skullcrawler could try to ambush him from.

He couldn't see them, but he could feel them, huddled away beneath the rocks and snow, in a deep slumber that could either last a few months or even so long as several centuries.

Now this was a state that the Alpha had deemed acceptable for the Titans who lived on the surface, and no longer seeing the pair as a danger to anything, decided to leave them alone and finally catch some rest while he had the opportunity to.

Had the Muto been aware of this, he would have been in total awe of how the Spiked Titan could have shown his companion and him mercy while they were in their most vulnerable state.

#my art #godzilla #muto #skullcrawler #bruce the muto #skullcrawler 13 #merry christmas #happy holidays #happy new year #non canon #just a little holiday fun #rogue titans #the monsterverse #mini fanfiction #fanfic

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