#but it turns out the fact that i sometimes mishear a word and write down what i misheard

[inkskinned]

one of the oddest arguments i've ever gotten into was like. i had agreed to give a dude a chance. we were on a first date. and he got. just. so mad. because i had told him i read about 2-5 books a week.

but he found out it was actually that i listen to 2-5 audiobooks. he was dead set on the idea - that's not reading, it's just listening. that i was lying, somehow, by implying i'd "read" the book.

language has a beautiful ability to adapt over time, particularly in the face of technology. when i "connect to the internet" i'm referencing the oldschool method of literally plugging into the internet - which i very rarely physically do. i roll down my window, which is a reference to the circular mechanical action it used to take. hell - the floppy disc remains our resolute save file icon. when i say i "ran to the store," nobody expects me to actually run - and what my version of running to the store looks like and your version are probably pretty different.

i told the guy, baffled: i look at things through glasses, that's still seeing. nobody complains i'm filtering the image.

he says: that's not the same and you know it.

i use audiobooks because i have adhd, and it makes it so i can actually focus. i am using it to help a medically diagnosed condition.

language also has a really cool ability: when we read something, our brains look at a word and make an image. when we hear a story, our brains hear a word and make an image. whether we hear it or read it - the word means the same thing, written or spoken. there is no quantifiable difference in the knowledge-encoding experience - i still happily hallucinate while i'm listening.

and i just kind of stared at him while he was telling me that "claiming" i had "actually read" a book that i had actually-listened-to was lying

and my only baffled response was like: "... are you gatekeeping the experience of... reading?"

[azurevi]

L ove - first time saying ‘i love you’.

sorry anon i accidentally deleted the ask 💀 hope you enjoy this tho! i think i fell in love with malleus while writing his part-

Riddle

“Are you sure you’ve got everything?” Riddle asks from where he’s seated on the ground, watching you pack with just a touch of silent melancholy in his gaze. Study sessions with you are frequent but never long enough, and if he had to be honest, studying was just an excuse. He just wants to spend more time with you.

“Yup, but I can’t help but feel like I’ve forgotten something…” you flip between the pages and look under the table. Riddle is about to search with you when you take advantage of his position and ambush him with a smooch on his cheek.

“What’s with the sneak attack?” His eyes widen before he remembers to stifle his surprise.

“Nothing, just wanted to show how much I love you,” you swing the bag over your shoulder and dash towards the door. “See ya!”

Really, he should be used to your antics by now. He clicks his tongue, touching the spot where you landed the kiss while quietly hoping that it could’ve been slightly to the rig-

Wait.

Wait wait wait WAIT WAIT WAIT-

Did you just say that you loved him?

He can feel his brain shutting down as he tries to process your words. He didn’t mishear it, did he? Did you mean it? Was it just a slip of the tongue? How dare you just drop the bomb on him as if he hasn’t been racking his brain for the perfect occasion to tell you the exact same words for weeks?

He can’t just let you get away with it.

Anyone who is at the dorm at that time may report seeing a red flash fly down the confusing corridors and stairs designated to make one trip. In fact, Riddle’s face is almost as bright as his hair, so much so that it can be easily mistaken as fury. But this is not anger, it’s his heart literally about to burst from his chest.

An intense run around the campus later, he finds you lounging in the courtyard, tapping away at your phone. When he calls your name, you tun around immediately.

“Riddle? What are you doing here? I didn’t actually leave something behind, did I?” You joke.

“Yes, you did,” he says, voice threatening to give out. “You left without hearing my response.”

“To what?”

His face is twisted by something between annoyance and embarrassment. “To the comment about… how you love me. Hey, why are you looking surprised? Did you not mean it?”

“No, of course I meant it. I guess it just slipped out without my knowledge.” You confess sheepishly, mirroring his awkwardness.

Thank the sevens. “Good. Because it just so happens that I love you as well.” He crosses his arms and angles his face away. Saying those words feels like jumping off a cliff. It fills him with dread, but also relief.

There is a beat of silence in which his confidence dwindles, but then he feels your response as you throw your arms around him, tight and sure, and like sunlight shooting through the clouds, it pushes the dread away and fills him with warmth.

“Hey now, people are going to look.” He says despite returning the embrace instinctively.

This isn’t exactly how he planned for the confession to go, but somehow it feels just right.

Malleus

Malleus sometimes wonders if he has loved you since the very beginning.

It’s not like he already knew back then, but it’s always surprised him how the first time he was able to put a name to his feelings for you, it felt like finding something he’d lost in one of his pant pockets. Instead of being a groundbreaking discovery, it just feels familiar.

He intends to let it be known, but such a solemn declaration requires a solemn setting. He wants it to be special and memorable, something that will bring a smile to your face when you recall years later.

It turns out to be harder than he thought.

The first time he brought you to a classy restaurant, the ones with lit candles and a tiny band. It could’ve been perfect if it weren’t for Sebek, who had taken it upon himself to ‘ensure young master’s safety outside campus’ and decided to come along. Even though he was seats away, it was still difficult to be heartfelt under piercing glares.

Lilia made a note to lock Sebek in his room the second time, but Malleus forgot to take care of your friends as well. A few hours into a park date, just as he was about to say those words, your phone cut through the tension. Ace had apparently set fire to Deuce’s room and was on the run from Riddle’s wrath.

They say third time’s the charm, but Malleus is starting to wonder if he’s doing something wrong. It just feels like something is bound to happen and interrupt his plans.

“Is something on your mind?”

Your voice lures him out of his predicament and back to the grass field where you’ve been lying on for the past 30 minutes. There’s just something about the night sky that you can never get tired of.

“Just you,” he says. “And us.”

“Smooth,” you punch his arm lightly, and though it feels like being tickled by a feather, he makes the effort to fake a wince. It draws a laugh out of you.

“The sky looks extra beautiful tonight, don’t you think?”

It’s the same sky Malleus has been watching since he was born, the same constellations, the same patterns sewn on the tapestry of the night, just slightly farther away from each other as the universe continues to expand outward. It’s a fascinating sight, but one can get bored of even the most awe-inspiring sights with enough time. On the contrary…

Malleus turns to you again, the tall grass brushing against his cheek. Your lidded eyes roam around, seemingly trying to encompass the vast expanse of the sky in one single look. There’s this tuck of your lips that indicate intrigue, and he wonders for a split second what you would do if he snuck a kiss in without warning.

“Yes, beautiful indeed,” he murmurs. Then there’s this feeling again, a flame in his chest, thrashing around with the need to break out.

Should he say it right now, when he’s barely prepared anything? Would it be less significant if there’s nothing extravagant around?

He shifts his weight onto his arm and shoves his face into your line of sight. You gaze flits to him, steady with a hint of curiosity. There’s something about the way you’re looking at him that makes the flame burn even brighter, forcing itself out of his throat.

“I love you.” He says sternly despite the uncertainty creeping up on him. For a second he lets the words sink in, the lack of a response making him panic internally. But then you smile like the stars can’t even hold a candle to him, and the moment you pull him down by his nape, he finally understands that love is quite a simple thing after all.

[kararisa]

marigold promises

— 16. hell week [☕︎ = 0.4k words]

cw: disorientation caused by illness

There’s no other way to describe it: you feel like absolute shit. If you were just a bit more coherent, you’d curse yourself for not sleeping in today. But alas, here you are in this damned clinic when you could have been acing that recitation in Communications.

You don’t know how long it’s been since you tried to fall asleep — the persistent hum of the AC combined with the fact that it feels like you stepped into Snezhnaya without proper winter clothing makes it hard for you to get some rest, and the towel on your forehead, while helping in the reduction of your temperature, certainly doesn’t make the chill more bearable.

You’re unsure of whether you’re awake or asleep when the opening of a door breaks the silence. You strain your ears to listen to the sound of footsteps, barely able to hear a familiar voice.

“Is it alright if I watch over my friend?” he, Albedo, asks. The nurse says yes and tells him you’re currently resting.

The footsteps get louder until they’re right next to your cot, then you hear the creaking of a chair as you presume he’s taken the seat to your right. You don’t bother to ask why in the world he’s chosen to be here, your piercing headache and lightheadedness discouraging you from moving.

The hum of the AC lulls you into a half-awake half-asleep state and you barely notice when Albedo starts to gently caress your head. You won’t deny that it helps ease your headache, even just a little bit.

A part of you wishes he’d do this more often. That he’d do this while you weren’t delirious from a cold and barely able to focus.

“You need to take care of yourself more, Cupcake,” he mumbles, “How am I supposed to do my best when you’re not there to compete against me?”

At this point, you’re sure the meds are kicking in or you’re in the middle of some fever dream. Because you definitely mishear what he says next.

“I miss you; sometimes I wonder if you miss me too.”

A pause. A breath.

“But I hope you don’t. It’s easier for us that way.”

Is it really, though? Or is that just an excuse — something we tell ourselves to justify keeping our distance from each other?

A buzzing sound interrupts his train of thought. You hear the chair creak, his footsteps moving away from you.

“Hello? Yes, I’m okay,” a pause.

“I’m… not in class right now, why? Do you need me to pick her up?” another pause.

Albedo hums, “Alright. Take care.”

He doesn’t even make it halfway out the door when the bittersweet embrace of slumber finally overtakes you.

— previous || masterlist || next

summary: it was evident that you and albedo have changed in the five years you’ve spent apart, but you know better than to view him through the lens of nostalgia. with one goal on your mind – graduate valedictorian – who better to stand in your way than the studious, intelligent, ice-cold albedo? one thing’s for sure: he’s going down.

author's notes:

the bitter irony here is that i'm posting this while battling a headache

i had a bit of trouble writing this scene since yn's keeping their eyes closed in an attempt to quell their headache and ignore albedo but i think it turned out pretty well

taglist (i): @fvkkyu @mintreen @edreee @khyllynnn @xxmirrorballxx @aiikalvr @yaefics @unsterblich-prinz @aequha @alch3myy @lovely-althxa @nei-rinn @cridtiins @zestrya @skylions-den @moriiartt @theother-victoria @sunsethw4 @dazaisfavgf @serossidechick @koiir @lazy-sanns @sweetbunnybunbun @dee-zbignuts @redactedhimbo @yurstepm0m @fanfictwarrior @fuyaa @saoiirsee @ireallylikehamsters @elfxiao @whos-angelx @kitsuvil @orionicchaos @blurr3db3rry @semi-orangeapple @kunikuzushiit @atlatcaheart @wrrapedroundmyfingerlikearing @jewelscara @lost-wicked-artist @kairxse @elysiasbae @eurekatanya @empathum @tatiratty @zannivrs @mikismusings @sunoo-bby @astolary

— the taglist is currently open! if you’d like to be added feel free to reply or send in an ask! – if your blog isn't highlighted it means i can't tag you.

[souglias]

I see there's still a slot left for foul legacy: raging tide so I hope I'm not too late to request something 👀

Three things about me:

As I said in my other ask, I love to draw and write and I try to do that as much as I can during my free time between hw and class. Although it's been much harder to find time during college and I am often plagued with art/ writer's block 😔

I'm a bio major and I have no problem with handling bugs and other little critters that most people get queasy about. Once you've dissected sheep brains and whole squids, grabbing a spider isn't such a big deal lol

It generally takes me a while to start seeing someone as a close friend rather than a friendly acquaintance that I sometimes see in class. In the same vein it also takes me a while to begin considering someone as a possible romantic partner bc I only start to feel attraction after I've known them for a while and established an emotional connection

I'm a big fan of the star student/delinquent trope and even though I'm not really the type that only cares about studying, I do generally prioritize that over other things

Thank you in advance!! I can't wait to see the rest of this event unfold :D

The Delinquent [Childe]

c/w: mentions and implications of rumours, implication of bad school culture, Biology dissection (not described in detail)

Note: Hello!! I'm so so sorry this fic took so long! I wasn't particularly inspired for this fic so I was holding it off, then school came in the way for quite a bit. I don't know much about dissections, but I did a quick Google search and I hope I've written it such that it's not too difficult to believe. I hope that you enjoy this!

word count: 1.5k

--

Sun and moon. Both you and Childe live worlds apart. The two of you are only in each other’s orbit, seeing each other from a distance. The closest that you’ll ever get is being a few seats away in biology class. However, even though you only share one class with him, you know him all too well.

Childe is the infamous sporty kid in school. He’s also one who often wins academic competitions for the school. The student body doesn’t necessarily dislike him either. In fact, the girls adore him. They think that he’s hot and charming. But outside of his friend group, everyone is mostly too intimidated by his aura to approach him. 

You can also always count on Childe to constantly talk back to teachers and staff. Now and then, you would catch him breaking school rules by exploiting their loopholes. The school hasn’t expelled him, given that he’s not causing harm or trouble to anyone. On top of that, he largely excels in many areas. Though… There are rumours of him beating other students up. But no one has actually seen him do so.

You, on the other hand, keep to your group of friends. That’s how you decided you were going to spend the rest of your school life. Comfortable with a group of friends that you cherish deeply, out of the spotlight. 

That is until Childe decides to collide into your world for a reason you cannot bring yourself to turn down. Okay, you could have, but you don't dare to.

As a short breather from studying in the library, you doodle a little. Childe walks up to your side while you’re doing so. 

With a volume lower than usual, he greets you. “Hey, [name]- Oh these look pretty cute.”

You dropped your pencil on your notebook, taken aback that the Childe is talking to you. 

“What’s up, Childe?” you ask as your hand subtly shifts above the doodles in your notebook. Honestly, you want nothing to do with him. But, at the same time, you are courteous enough not to shut someone out the first time they speak to you.

He smiles sheepishly as he requests, “Sorry to bother you, but could you give me a demonstration on the dissection of a sheep’s brain?”

You only blink at him in response. You asked him to repeat, making sure you didn’t mishear him. Assuming you couldn’t hear him, he raises his volume. Only slightly, so as not to disturb other students. 

“I need some help on dissecting a sheep’s brain and I’d like you to show me a demonstration. Would that be okay for you?”

Fumbling over your words a little, you agree to help him with his dissection. “Great! Thank you so much, [name]. Will tomorrow after our biology lesson be good?”

“Yeah, sure…”

With that, he walks off with a slight skip in his steps. But you, on the other hand, are highly preoccupied with your thoughts. You think you got a little too nervous around him. They say you shouldn’t show fear in front of what you are afraid of. Wait, since when were you afraid of him?

On top of that worry, you aren’t sure if you should be proud that Childe thinks highly enough of you to ask you for help, or if you should be concerned that you are now responsible for tutoring the infamous school delinquent instead. 

Do you really know the dissection like the back of your hand? What if he asks you about the details that you've thrown to the back of your mind? As an extra precaution, you start to relook at your notes on the dissection. Before you sleep at night, you give your notes one last read too.

The next day, you realise during lessons that you forgot to check if there was a supervising teacher present after school. For students to use the laboratory after school, there is a rule stating that a teacher has to be present. Childe probably wouldn’t heed that rule in normal circumstances. But since your last lesson is Biology in the laboratory with him, your teacher would definitely know both of you are staying back. If there was no one around, your teacher wouldn’t permit you two to use the room and kick the both of you out. 

So, you pray. You pray that there wouldn’t be any supervising teacher, so you’d get to slip out on Childe. But unfortunately, when class ends, you find out that your teacher is on duty today.

Sighing internally, you resign yourself to helping Childe. As you prepare your workbench, you catch your teacher's eyes darting between the two of you. Likely surprised that both of you speak to each other, you suppose. You'd be surprised too.

When all the preparation is done, you try to hide your disappointment and ask, “So, how do you want me to teach this to you?” 

“You can do a step-by-step demonstration, then I’ll try to follow along.”

After every step, you check on the steps that he executes. While doing so, you notice how slender his hands are and the little faded scars on them. 

“[Name]? We can continue.”

You snap out of your daze and mutter an apology, continuing the dissection. At some point, you stop him. “Hold on, you’re about to cut the wrong part.”

He shifts his gaze over to your scalpel, trying to assess the exact point to cut. Before he does anything, you move over to his side as you always do when you teach your friends. You wrap your hand around his that holds the scalpel and you guide his hand.

Childe becomes momentarily distracted by your touch on his. He tries to ignore the feeling of his skin tingling and regain his focus. 

(But it is for nought because all he can think of is how cool you are for being so good at Biology. Heck, not just Biology, but other subjects too. Words of your consistently stellar grades don’t escape him.)

You only realise the proximity between the two of you after you let go of his hand. Taking a step back, your leg bumps into the stool. You stumble for a bit. Childe’s hand reaches out to your arm and it hovers right above your skin, ready to catch you. But you don’t fall and a few moments pass.

Inside, you beat yourself up a little for almost falling onto the ground in front of someone you’ve barely spoken to before. You straighten yourself and Childe withdraws his hand back to his side. 

You clear your throat in an attempt to dissipate the tension in the air. “There’s only one more step left to go. I can show that to you and if you’re good, we can pack up.”

You note how hot your face feels and hope he doesn’t tell this to his friend circle. You don’t particularly like them, given the amount of drama they attract. 

You try to concentrate, though the incident earlier remains at the front of your mind. Soon, he ends the procedure without a hitch, so you assume that you’ve taught him the right step despite your lack of focus. With that, both of you clean up the workbench. 

Childe finishes cleaning up faster than you. He always packs up quickly after class, and you chalk up his speed to his desire to leave class early. You think he’s about to leave when he comes over to help you. When he does, he thanks you.

“Thanks for the tutoring session, [name].”

A few seconds of silence lapse. You’re not sure if you should thank him for helping you. But before you say anything, he asks, “Say… could I ask you for more help next time? I struggle quite a bit with Biology.”

Immediately, you nod. It'll just be more tutoring sessions that'll benefit you too. Though, you ask, “Don’t you have friends who do Biology?”

Childe’s face sours a little, a smile still plastered on his face. He whispers, “Let’s just say that while I do hang out with them, I don’t like to stay around them more than I need to.”

Your eyes widen slightly. The two of you have more in common than you thought.

As the two of you walk down the hallways to the exit, he exchanges contacts with you. Childe does a tiny fist pump in the air. “Nice! Now, we can easily arrange study sessions!”

He turns to look at you and offers, “If you need anything too, you can always ask me!”

Childe flashes you a smile. He’s really not so bad.

When the two of you part ways at the school gate, you wave to him. He returns one with that annoyingly vibrant smile of his. But, maybe you could get used to this.

Only then do you realise, oh, you are in so much danger. The moon is reaching its orbit closest to the sun now.

--

All likes and reblogs are appreciated! Thank you <3

[it-was-summer]

When I’m Away (Aged Up!Five x Fem!Reader)

Requested: Yes! Im so glad you guys enjoy my writing and support me! 

Plot: It was basically Five and fem!Reader were best friends and in love and when he jumped, she ended up in the apocalypse together with him. He finally confessed. A few years down the line they got married (as best as one can in an apocalypse xD) and eventually made it home together slightly aged up. Five was always insecure about the fact that he made Reader suffer though even accidentally. It was his biggest regret but most selfish happiness. Post-apocalypse saving, he overhears a conversation Reader is having with one of the other Hargreeves (Klaus, Allison or Vanya come to mind) and misinterprets it/mishears it. He thinks Reader regrets being with him and was truly miserable all this time and that crushes him inside. He starts doing his best to make things happier for her but also makes himself scarce. In a life or death situation, he ends up putting himself in the line of fire for her and before he passes out from the wounds, he whispers an apology to her with tears in his eyes and that he wishes that she can have a second chance now that she's young again. Of course Reader doesn't understand at all what he means and Five refers back to what she said and that's when she realizes what he means and that he misunderstood. He ends up blacking out before she can clarify his fears though and her next week is hell because she's so afraid Five won't wake up and will die thinking she never loved him. When he does she sobs, and she finally tells him that he misheard her and that she loves him and wouldn't trade her life with him for anything. (Right up my ally) Just because you wanted them aged up, I made the two of them 18, I hope that is okay!:) I hope that you like it!! @oceanspray5

Word Count:2623

You couldn’t really remember how it happened. The only thing you could remember is a flash of blue appeared and then a boy was there, in a mask. Everyone knew about the Umbrella Academy, you would be lying if you said that you had no idea who they were, but you did indeed recognize the emblem on his uniform. It was weird, however, that he was standing in your backyard. He stared at you, struggling to find something to say before you shrugged and said “Maybe the calculations were off.”

After that he would occasionally pop in without the mask, inviting you out with him when his family was too much or when he was feeling lonely. You didn’t mind, it was nice to have a friend. It was nice to have someone to talk to, even if that someone was sometimes a little too blunt.

The two of you sat on a park bench in the middle of the afternoon, sunshine shining down on the two of you when you spoke up “You seem less snarky today.”

“Less?”

“Yes,” you nodded, still waiting for him to say why he was in such good spirits, but his answer never came. You didn’t pry, you knew that eventually he would say something, but right now was not the time.

His friendship came easy, it was like learning how to walk. You didn’t need to remember how to walk, you just knew you could. That’s how it felt to be friends with Five, he was like a walk in the park. It was your feelings that came second, crashing down on you like a piano, leaving you bewildered and wounded.

You never said anything, thinking that it was just a mindless crush that would eventually disappear, leaving things to continue as they normally did. However, you couldn’t help but notice how bright his smile was, how lovely his hair looked, or how he had dimples. None of that made you want to confess, the only thing that made you want to confess is when he would reach out for you. When his fingers would brush against yours in silly moments of bliss, that’s when you felt your chest deflate, leaving you in desperate need for air.

It was Summer, green decorated the world and colors swayed in the hot wind. You watched from the front door of the Hargreeves door. You knew that today was the today. You were just simply waiting for a moment. You were waiting for his schedule to be clear. It was supposed to be clear after lunch and you knew that, so you were here at one in the afternoon, waiting. You were playing with the hem of your shirt when the door opened in a violent fashion. Your eyes gleamed and you stood straighter, but that’s when Five ran past you. You followed suit, ignoring his warnings as he started his own personal mission. You lept towards him, in an attempt to grab hold of him, succeeding only to be surrounded by blue lights. You didn’t let go till Five stopped running.

It was hard to breathe, that was your first thought. You couldn’t seem to get a deep enough breath. Five was screaming, frustration filling up his senses as he tried to escape this hell. Then he ran, back in the direction of the umbrella academy, back to his home. You stood still, noise becoming obsolete as your soul left your body. You felt as if you watched yourself follow Five, you didn’t speak, you didn’t cry. It was only when Five turned to you with a panicked face and teary eyes that you felt your soul return, running over to him and holding him tightly as the two of you sobbed in the wreckage.

Surviving with Five was the easy part, he was your best friend so of course it was easy. The hard part was remembering. Sometimes you would have dreams about home, about your family or friends, sometimes you would even dream about growing up with Five. Growing up normally, as normal as the two of you could be, given how one out of the two of you was especially gifted. You dreamt about school life with Five. Going to prom with Five. Something normal and desperately sweet, but then you would open your eyes and you would be in a crumbling house, feeling hopelessly lost.

It was getting colder and you were looking for something to burn that seemed relatively dry when Five flashed in next to you. “Need help?”

You smiled up at him, giving him a tiny nod as the two of you started to walk into piles of rubble. “Do you ever dream about what could have been?”

“What could have been?”

“Yes,” you picked up a wooden plank “, Sometimes I dream about us, I dream that we met normally, like in the movies.” You explained as Five stared at you. He bit his lip and held his hand out towards you, letting you safely cross a ledge.

“No, I try not to.”

“Why is that?”

“Well, I think that if we were normal,” his hand lingered “, I think that things would be different.”

Your eyes locked onto his for a second before he bent down to pick up some branches. You looked away with a small hum “Maybe, but I think we would always find each other. In this lifetime and in others, I think it always had to be the two of us.”

Five swallowed hard, turning to face you. It had been months now, months since the two of you ended up stuck here, and yet you still seemed so lovely. Even when the entire world was gone, you were still his light. He decided then that, no matter what happened it had to be you. It would always be you. “Like soulmates,”

“If you’d like a definition, then sure, like soulmates.”

“Despite everything I believe in, I can find it in my heart that I have always loved you.” Your eyes became wide as you held the wooden plank closer to your chest, mind running rampant as you tried to string a sentence together in the midst of your astonishment. Five grinned, knowing that he must have said something right by the way your cheeks were turning a beautiful red. You let out a melodic laugh as you leaned towards him, pressing a small kiss to his temple, then whispering a sweet “I love you too.”

Your love for each other grew like wildfire with each passing day; each week, month, and year felt as amazing as the last. The depressing parts of the apocalypse were drowned out by kisses and days of being together. Days of surviving together. That was enough to make it all bearable. All the scorching hot days, the freezing nights and rationing seemed so little compared to how the two of you loved each other. It was a few days before the fortieth anniversary of the apocalypse when Five turned to you with the biggest smile you had ever seen on his face. “What?”You giggled lightly, pushing him softly in a lame attempt to get him to answer you.

“I found some candles and guess what started blooming,” he pulled you by your arm over towards a patch of dandelions. They weren’t exactly flowers, but you weren’t complaining.

“Lovely,” you sighed as a gust of wind blew through the two of you, Five’s mouth moving but you couldn’t make out the words until the wind settled and you heard him say “We should get married,”

It was something impulsive and unplanned. You knew that even with the paperclip rings the two of you managed to make for each other wouldn’t be legally binding, but it was enough. Marrying each other gave the two of you just an ounce of normalcy in the middle of the revived earth. It was enough to make the two of you feel good about the world again. Hope was slowly being restored and the two of you had hoped that this small union between the two of you would be enough to settle the horrible images that surrounded both of your minds every night. So with two small vows and “I do’s”, the two of you wore poorly constructed paper clips around your left ring fingers, proudly.

Now you were staring down at that same paperclip ring on a much younger hand. After escaping from the commission and running, you were addressing your situation silently in a fully furnished, not to mention, elaborate living room. You and Five had jumped back into time, and by some fault the two of you became eighteen again. You felt more alive, yes, but more anxious than ever. You wish the two of you had more time. More time to make up a plan for the apocalypse, a better plan. Five sat with his back against yours, muttering soft calculations in the silence of his home. You just wish the two of you had more time.

The time the two of you were running through a clothing warehouse was when Five first saw it. He saw how desperate your eyes looked. Given that the two of you were being shot at the time, but his mind traveled back to when you talked about normalcy. His heart tugged in his chest, seeing your panicked face move closer, grabbing hold of his hand tightly and yanking him under a countertop. Deep down inside Five always felt guilty for bringing you along, although it wasn’t willingly, his chest still felt heavy as the two of you escaped the warehouse alive. He wanted you to have a normal life, that’s all he wanted. He wished he could be normal for you, stable for you and above all be extremely and completely boring for you, so you could have that normal life that you clung to in your dreams.

You watched Five perform a dance you had never seen before, walking around the kitchen avoiding your stare from the table and escaping any attempts of conversation and he did it all with a sweet smile. One moment he would be talking to himself loudly down the hall, but as soon as he saw you, he sent you a sweet look and stopped talking all together. He seemed so strange, and yet you couldn’t put your finger on it. You were sure that he was just trying to figure things out the same as you, but he was worrying you.

You were walking around the house when you heard Klaus calling your name in a excited tone, he straightened when he saw you, bowed and then said “Mrs.Hargreeves,”

“Klaus,”

“How is the husband?” he asked as he sauntered over next to you, sitting on the couch before he patted the cushion next to him for you to take.

You sat with a tiny huff “He’s being,” you trailed off before saying “,Him.” You let out a defeated sigh as you heard Klaus laugh at your anxiety.

“He’s Five, he’s always been moody!”

“Yes, but he loves me.” You looked down at the paperclip wrapped around your finger with a groan “I think he’s just stressed, or something. He gets distant, yes, but usually he isn’t so happily ignoring me?” you vented before you brought a hand up to your forehead gently.

“Why did you marry him anyway?”

You grinned, feeling childish “Maybe, because he was the last man on earth,”  that was the last sentence Five heard before he walked away, locking himself back up in the room filled with equations. 

“I married him because I love him. I really do.”

Something you had learned at the commission was that a gunshot was less dramatic than it was on television, and the worst thing you learned was that the screen wouldn’t fade to black when things got gory. Now you were wishing you were in a movie, as the gun was pointed at you by Hazel, but instead of the bullet going through you a brilliant flash of blue took the bullet for you and Five was falling to the ground, bleeding out from his chest. You let out a scream, catching him before his body could touch the earth, holding him close in your lap as his siblings fought off the assassins.

“Five,” you said his name clearly, holding back tears as your hands were becoming red with his blood.

His eyes darted towards yours in a second and he smiled softly. “Hey,” you dragged him behind the bar, leaving a trail of blood behind the two of you “Hey, Y/N…” You looked down at the sound of your name, tears blocking your vision. “I’m sorry for,” he paused, eyes searching for the words as his mind became foggy and damp “,for everything really. Please, please stop this and maybe you can move on without me and be better. Be happier.” he said breathlessly as Grace rounded the corner at the perfect time.

“What are you talking about,” his eyes fluttered, fighting to stay conscious as he let out a tiny whine before he drifted off into a state of unconsciousness “,Five!”

Then next few days were absolute torture, you sat at Five’s bedside, waiting for some kind of sign that he would wake up. Grace said his vitals were fine, it was only a matter of time till he was awake, but that didn’t start the ball of anxiety from growing deep within your stomach, infecting all of you quicker than any virus known to man. He had to wake up. Did he truly believe that you could ever live without him? That you could ever do any of this without him? Five was the love of your life, your soulmate, the one person who was supposed to grow old with you… again. You were stuck in this body, feeling miserable as you stared down at your unconscious husband, begging to anything, to anybody, that he would wake up soon.

It was around three in the morning when his eyes opened, slowly, but surely they opened. The first thing he focused on was you, seeing the red around your eyes as you stared down at him. “Five,” you let out a heavy sigh, smiling with relief.

“What are you doing here?”

“What do you mean? I’m your wife, why wouldn’t I be here?”

“You only married me because I was the last man on earth,” Five’s fresh eyes filled with tears as he watched you let out a small sound of understanding.

“Is this,” you paused, your smiling dropping quickly “,Is this what all this was about? You heard me joking around with Klaus and you thought I was serious?” You questioned, feeling your heartbreak for the man you loved. “Five, my love, I love you with everything fiber of my being. I didn’t mean it like that. I would never leave you. I could never replace you, my love.” you leaned down, kissing his nose gently, giving Five a easy going smile as you pulled away.

Five swallowed hard as he looked up into your eyes, suddenly feeling foolish for how he was feeling. All the guilt he built up, watching you panic. It was because you needed him, you loved him. You couldn’t bear to lose him, just like he couldn’t bear to lose you. He let his tears fall “I’m so sorry, I thought you didn’t want me anymore, I thought-”

You shushed him softly “It’s okay,” you slid into the bed with him, holding him close as he calmed down “, It’s always been you. I could never love anyone else, it’s always going to be you.” You whispered sweetly to him, feeling his body relax into your embrace.

[bjy-on-ao3]

Would you be willing to write a fic for Levi (from Obey Me!) where the reader gives him a blow job while he plays video games? Thank you!

(As usual, you can find the AO3 version of all my uploads [and some things I don’t post here to tumblr] via my Masterlist blog page.)

Obey Me! Is apparently just my fandom now for when I want to write fics without heavily plotting out the dialogue first. I don’t know why, but it seems to work out well enough. Thought this one seemed like it didn’t require a ton of coherent speaking, as I imagine Leviathan would be an incoherent mess in a case like this.Fulfilling as a request from a Tumblr anon for reader giving Leviathan a blowjob while he plays video games.  I likely won’t take other Leviathan requests besides this, simply because of all the brothers, Levi and Mammon are the lowest on my list and I find I have the hardest time studying for them when I write stuff like this. (This should be gender neutral, but if for some reason I overlooked something, and it’s not, someone yell at me so I can correct it.) Summary Reader interrupts Leviathan while he’s playing some games on his computer. They want to play a little game of their own with him. Tags/Warnings Blowjobs, Oral Sex, Reader-Insert, Shameless Smut

Distraction (GN! Reader/Leviathan)

The sudden sharp rap of knuckles on the door of his made Leviathan nearly jump in his seat, snapping him out of the focus that previously had belong to the game he was playing. He sat up straighter in his chair, golden eyes flickering between the monitor and the door. The interruption at a crucial moment earned him a game over and the prompt to begin again. The knocking rang out again, more forcefully, followed by a voice.

You waited outside for several seconds, hearing nothing. Raising your curled fist to drum on the door a third time, thinking he had fallen asleep or was out picking up some new figurine or game that Akuzon didn’t have. But as you drew your hand back, the customary TSL question that came with knocking on Leviathan’s door met you.

You smiled at the question, which always sounded passingly suspicious. You wondered if he always asked, even when he knew who was on the other side of the door, simply because he enjoyed the exchange more than he let on; a reminder the person in the hall still shared interest for one his favorite things. You thought for a moment, trying to recall the answer needed. You called it out loud and clear so he wouldn’t mishear through the door.

There was another period of silence and you waited, positive your answer was the correct one. Sure enough, the door opened and Leviathan was already moving away from the frame to let you in, leaving it to you to close the door behind you.

“Oh crap, did I interrupt you?” You asked sheepishly, glancing over at his computer monitor and noting the ominous screen prompting him to ‘try again?’.

“N-no, I mean, yes,” Leviathan began. That cute nervousness you saw a lot concerning your presence was already at work, it seemed. His face fell for an instant as he realized you might misconstrue his answer as blaming you. “But that’s alright! I can get back there again, easy!” He declared, the previous shaky tone drowned out by his confidence in his gaming abilities.

You stifled a small laugh in your throat, looking over at the screen again. It looked like a game you had seen before, one that Leviathan had shown you, in fact. You had seen that prompt too many times in the beginning to not recognize it.

“Would it be alright if I watched for a little bit?” You asked brightly, meeting his eyes.

The nerves bubbled up again, and you could see them clearly, but were quickly replaced once he processed your question. The new expression on his face was nearly ecstatic, nerves dying all over again in the joy or you expressing interest of watching him play.

“Oh, sure. After I beat this level, we can play something together… i-if you want?” The sentence was strong and happy to start, but trickled away into a soft apprehension.

You beamed at him and nodded. “Sounds good to me!” you cheered and noted the cute blush that tinged his cheeks from your enthusiasm.

Turning away, Leviathan made his way back to his chair and plopped down. You followed once you ensured the door was closed securely. The last thing you needed was to give one of his brothers an excuse to come barging because you accidentally left it ajar or unlatched. You looked at several other seats scattered around his room, to accommodate times when he allowed others into the room to play with him, but didn’t sit down. You opted instead to stand behind him, peering past his shoulder.

You knew it made him a little nervous when you got close, but it was fun to see his focus waver and watch his cheeks color more while he was aware of your presence - at least until he sank back into his zone of focus. Once everything faded away, it was like you weren’t even there and he would relax. It was a game you played in the past, and you knew just how to break his focus over and over when he slipped into it. Your intentions weren’t malicious, of course, and had he asked you to stop, you gladly would have done so.

You lay your forearms over the back of the computer chair, careful not to press down too hard and tilt it back. Leviathan glanced out of the corner of his eyes, cheeks still cutely pink, but he turned back to the screen, trying to ignore the new distraction. ‘It doesn’t mean anything,’ he told himself. Sure, you had confessed before you loved the time you spent with him, more so than your time with his brothers or the others outside the House of Lamentations you were close with. Still, he had trouble believing anyone could truly have an interest in a shut-in like himself.

You made short, quiet quips regarding the game as you watched him play, accompanying each with a gentle touch on his shoulder or neck. He answered dutifully, though his voice quivered whenever your fingertips brushed over his skin. His skin was pleasantly cool to the touch, despite the reddish tinge creeping past his cheeks and down his neck, too. You let one finger linger a little longer than the others.

The grating sound denoting Leviathan had died again in-game burst from his headset, and the game over scared flashed once more. He heaved a small, frustrated sigh,  and you couldn’t but smile mischievously behind him.

“This level seems pretty hard,” you commented absently, working to suppress your grin.

“O-oh, y-yeah, it can be kinda tricky,” Leviathan answered, relieved to have an excuse for the death. He didn’t want you realizing you were the distraction knocking down his skill level.

“I’m sure you’ll get it soon. Don’t mind me though, no rush!” you reassured him. However long it took Leviathan to complete the level, you got to have fun. If it took him a while thanks to your ‘help’, it meant more lingering touches and teasing, and if he finished it early enough, you got to spend some time bonding over the game picked out next. A win-win situation, to be sure.

He nodded, staring at the game again. You waited innocently for a moment, repeating the same subtle actions as before, as if you weren’t quite paying attention to what you were doing, letting him settle a bit before you moved on. A look of determined slowly fell over his face, the flush in his cheeks a little less obvious. But his normally narrow pupils had dilated, just barely visible beneath his fringe of violet hair. You debated if you should just let him be for the evening and have your fun some other time.

‘No,’ you decided, letting your hands slip away from Leviathan’s shoulders, leaning further onto the chair. Your chin rested near his shoulder, hands poised on the armrests on either side of him. The telltale signs you were distracting him shone through again once he noticed how much closer you were, even though separated much by the back of the chair.

But he could feel the heat of yours and face near him, much more pleasant than his chill skin. Your breath tickled lightly, and he had to stop from squirming in his seat, lest he give himself away. He was determined not to react, to pay it no mind, stubbornness assuring him again it meant nothing despite what his screaming brain suggested.

You had to give him credit for the levels of denial he achieved now and then. Sure, you appreciated he never assumed more of you than you meant to give, but sometimes it became frustrating, making it hard to make an obvious enough trail of breadcrumbs for him to follow. Not because he was stupid, but just stubborn and lacking the confidence to assume you could mean what your hints suggested.

Your attention faltered from the display, ignoring the sound of another game over, and you glanced down at Leviathan’s lap. It wasn’t the most prominent, but you could make out a bulge growing in his pants, a sign you were having more of an effect than making him blush and stutter or impeding his focus. Though you hadn’t caught his full attention in that regard, not yet, not with how he was surely trying to push the unchaste thoughts aside and ignore your proximity. You wondered how much could ignore from a real distraction, though.

“Hey, Levi, it’s not that I’m not enjoying watching you play or anything, but would you mind if I entertained myself a little while I wait for your to finish?” you requested, still leaning close, so your words skated over his ear. You smiled at the shiver he couldn’t stifle in time before he spoke.

“I-I-I...s-sure. It’s fine, I’m sure it’s boring!” he said, tripping over words and trying to shake off the haze threatening to distract him further.

“Oh, no, it’s not boring at all!” you reassured him. You didn’t want him thinking you found him or what he enjoyed doing boring. “Just, don’t mind me and keep playing, okay?” you insisted, standing up straight.

What you were planning was a leap for sure, but you were going to give it a shot. Your curiosity wouldn’t let the thought go once it had surfaced. You hoped once Leviathan realized what you intended, he’d enjoy it.

You swept around the chair, ducking down and beneath his desk, pressing both hands to his knees. Instantly, all focus Leviathan had left exploded, and when you looked up, his was a brilliant crimson, eyes round and enormous. A torrent of nervous gibberish flooded past his lips, his brain short circuiting.

“Levi, it’s alright,” you reassured him. “Just keep playing. Remember, I said not to mind me?” You waited, searching and listening for signs he wanted you to stop, and wasn’t just flustered.

“I-I… b-but.” He took a deep breath, as if it would allow him to restore his sanity, before turning his gaze up, trying not to peek back down.

“Do you want me to stop?” you asked from your knees. You wanted to be sure whether it was his insecurity and embarrassment or true distaste and uncertainty causing him to protest.

His words tumbled out explosively, face screwing up, red and flustered as he tried still not to focus on you too much. “I-I-I… that’s not… y-you don’t have to…” Leviathan trailed off, pausing before continuing in a mumble. “N-no, you can keep going, I just thought…” His words became so soft you couldn’t really make them out anymore, but you sadly knew he was likely battling with his self-esteem again, declaring himself a gross otaku or some other awful moniker for the umpteenth time.

“Just so you know, I’m doing this because I want to and I like you a lot, Levi,” you told him unwaveringly. He didn’t answer, sitting there tomato red. He nodded and turned his attention back to the controller in his hands.

Your own attention flitted down, back to his lap, where the evidence of how you affected him had grown more prominent than before. Rubbing soothing circles on his knees, after a moment you reached for the hem of his shirt, pushing it up and hooking your fingers beneath the waistband of his pants. A sharp inhale hissed through the air, and your eyes danced up for an instant before focusing on the task at hand. You dragged the waistband of his pants down carefully, pulling his boxers along with them.

The erection you knew had been straining against his underwear sprang free, standing proud and unashamed in contrast to its embarrassed owner. You heard the tapping of buttons above you, the faint sound of the game from before filtering down from Leviathan’s headphones, though slower and less practiced. Tentatively, you wrapped one hand around his shafter, stroking up and down smoothly. He rewarded you with another sharp inhale and small, stifled sound.

You tightened your grip, pumping your hand up and down a little faster. Even more soft noises met you, the clack of the controller stalling, though you could tell Leviathan was doing his best to do as you asked. You eyed the wet bead of pre-cum that leaked from the head of his cock and flicked an impish glance up to him before focusing back down.

You leaned in, opening your mouth and letting your tongue loll out, lapping coyly at the pearl of fluid. Its bitter flavor burst over your tongue and you licked at the head again, the salty tang of his skin complementing the first taste. Above you, Leviathan let out a groan you weren’t sure if couldn’t suppress or hadn’t wanted to. You didn’t think on it long, the lingering taste of him and the heady smell of musk filling your senses.

Your lips wrapped around the head fully, mouthing and sucking and twirling your tongue around it. You shifted your grip, one hand caressing the base of his dick, the other cupping his balls and massaging them gently. The noise of the game pause for several seconds, as if Leviathan had momentarily forgotten about it. You took the chance to take in more of his cock, rubbing your tongue along the underside and you went, tracing the line of a thick, throbbing vein.

He whimpered loudly before you had even taken him halfway, and you heard your name follow in a needy, strained tone. His chest heaved shakily above you, and you looked up again as best you could with your lips around him. His fingers moved over the controller in a way that was very clumsy compared to his typical video game dexterity. Your distraction was shattering his concentration quite successfully, but you appreciated how hard at least he was still trying.

When you reached the bottom of his cock, the tip pressing against your throat, you swallowed, and a half-choked moan spilled out from Leviathan’s lips. His hips stuttered a little involuntarily, and you drew back, hollowing your cheeks. You pulled back until only the tip of your tongue flickered over his tick, teasing the head again and making choke out another embarrassing sound. You sank back down to engulf him in your hot mouth all over again, savoring each new, obscene sound it elicited from him.

You nearly jumped back when something cool and soft and leathery brushed along your hand and then your cheek. You calmed when out of the corner of your eyes you realized it was only Leviathan’s tail. Another quick half-glance upward confirmed in his arousal and distraction, he had shifted into his demon form. His tail wrapped lazily around and down, the pleasantly cool, scaly skin stroking your cheek and neck tenderly.

From the sounds above you as you continued to lave his dick with attention, glistening with your saliva as you pulled away each time, it sounded as if he had gone completely to pieces. Sure enough, his breathing grew even more labored, and the sound of his fingers on the controller stopped altogether. Clack. The loud sound of the controller clattering to the desk reached you. His focus was broken entirely, and he couldn’t pretend any longer.

“I-I tried, but…” he began in a groan, his attempt to sound apologetic ruined by the huskiness of his voice.

To assure you weren’t displeased with him, you increased your pace, sucking harder. Without the game to focus on, Leviathan melted into a pliant, desperate puddle. One newly freed hand moved to stroke your head and accompany his tail, while the other held the edge of his desk like a vice. His hips bucked in small, needy motions and you moaned around his cock.

Leviathan moaned and whine freely now, save for biting his lip, though even still he was pleasantly loud. You wondered absently what his brothers might think if they heard the noise or knew what you were doing. Not that it was really any of their business, of course.

From the frantic way Leviathan rocked his hips, his heavy breathing, and the way his dick twitched and throbbed, you knew he was so very close. He whimpered your name again, once, twice.

“I-I’m gonna…” Leviathan’s tried to warn you, but the arrival of his release silenced him, the warning a little too late as he came hard.

You greedily took in as much of his cock as you could as he finished, swallowing each salty, bitter jet of cum that washed over your tongue. You groaned as you swallowed, and above you his voice reflected the lust of the sound. When finally he had no more to offer, his chest rising and falling harshly, you pulled back. You stopped only to clean anything you had missed, before sitting back and licking your lips. You looked up at the still very red and flustered demon. He looked utterly exhausted, but his golden gaze skittered away shyly when you met it and you smiled at how cute he looked again.

He mumbled an apology again that was only partially audible, and you shook your head. “You did great, Levi, don’t worry. Besides, ti was fun. And, you know, if you want, we can practice some more so you get can get even better,” you suggested bawdily.

Levi looked torn, both mortified and excited by the idea, seeming as if he might combust. But you knew he wouldn’t say no the next time around.

[readingsbylibramc]

birth chart reading for @otter-girl

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a locomotive shape. this means that you're a very ambitious person, with a lot of energy. mars has a big influence on you, and your life revolves around understanding your needs and achieving your goals. the empty part of your life is what you have to develop, hence your reputation, career life and also your routine and health.

your dominant planets are venus, uranus and the moon. you may be a bit unpredictable and have frequent mood swings, you're probably easily influenced by others. you are very creative, though! you are able to come up with many innovative ideas, and you're probably drawn to artistic outlets such as writing, dancing, singing, etc.

your dominant sign is libra. you're overall a peaceful person, you try to avoid conflicts if possible, even though sometimes you could have a sharp tongue. you're a romantic person, maybe too much. you hold unrealistic expectations of people, hence you often get disappointed when things don't turn out the way you thought. you're able to see both sides of an argument, and that's both good and bad. in fact, you're very objective, and most probably your opinions are right; yet, it may be annoying for people that are venting to you, as you could constantly point out their mistakes, even though you don't do it out of malice.

your dominant element is air. in your life, you adore seeking for knowledge of any kind. you may be interested in studying different subjects, from those you study at school like science, maths, literature etc. to more unconventional ones, such as astrology, psychology, criminology and so on. you enjoy interacting with people; even if you’re not that sociable, you’ll still be interested in their point of view and their ideals, as you see it as a way to expand your own mind. you’re also interested in vintage, and you may have a retro aesthetic or just like history in general.

🌎 ascendant in libra, 8° / 1st decan ruled by venus

you're naturally likeable, you have a particular charm to you that makes everyone drool over you. you're very nice and outgoing, you always try to make others feel at ease. you're very considerate of others' feelings. you strive for fairness and justice, it's the way you approach others and the world. basically, you treat others like they treat you: if they're kind with you, you'll be very sweet. otherwise, you'll turn very sarcastic and harsh, almost cold at a certain point. this can make you seem extremely provocative, especially with your aries moon-scorpio sun. you're very opinionated, you always feel the need to express your thoughts as you're very proud of them. in addition, since you always decide whether something is right or not, you may come off as a know-it-all. on the other hand, you're very sociable and you enjoy being in company, doesn't matter whether you're with your family, friends, lover etc. you may get to know many people throughout your life, but your friendships may not be much stable. you are surrounded by people, but you could feel lonely particularly often. I also need to point out that libra is ruled by venus, the planet of beauty. you're most likely very attractive and magnetic. even if not necessarily conventionally, people find themselves attracted to you. you may have sparkling doe eyes, with also full lips and a defined cupid's bow. your face is more on the longer side, perhaps you have an heart-shaped face, with high cheekbones and a pointy chin. you may also have naturally amazing, fluffy and flowing hair. your body is also very feminine, with a lot of curves and softness to it. it's very romantic, to sum up. also, your hair is probably naturally beautiful; it could be curly, or at least it's very thick and healthy-looking, even if you don't take much care of it.

libra ascendant opposite aries moon: you may have troubles understanding others’ real feelings for you. you may feel as if everyone hates you, like everyone is talking behind your back when it’s the opposite. the ascendant being in libra doens’t help either, as this aspect enhances its trust issues even more. you’re particularly sensitive about others’ view and opinion of you, you may get deeply hurt when people criticize you. you could have the tendency to act differently than you usually do, in order to preserve your feelings. this is obviously a toxic behaviour, that fills you up with your own stress and doubles it. due to that, you may become very moody and nervous, ending up hurting others yourself. or maybe, it’s the other way around; your feelings are so overwhelming that you can’t hide them, and that could put you in embarrassing, unpleasant situations. you may show all of your emotions on your face, ready to be read. the way to cope with this placement is finding someone similiar to you; someone who’s trust-worthy, and very sensitive and empathetic too. someone who’d never judge you for you think or say, and that would always help you becoming the best version of yourself. someone that understands you, without having to explain all of your behaviours and habits.

libra ascendant conjunct libra mars: this placement makes your libra rising less soft. your approach to the world is spontaneous, you don't like thinking before acting. you don't really do this with malice, though; you're just very honest. even though you appear really confident to others, you may find yourself feeling a little insecure. that comes from the fact that you're a perfectionist, even though you want to be perfect to show it to others rather than for yourself. hence, you feel pressured. even though you may appear as rude, once you get to know someone you truly care about you're willing to control yourself, just for them. that's how far you'd go for someone you love. physically, people with mars conjunct the ascendant are usually very fast, active and athletic in general. you may walk fast, and you have quick reflexes. you're probably fit; even if you're overweight, your body will still look good, with a nice and toned structure. you may have strong, sharp, almost 'masculine' features: thin lips, thick eyebrows and lashes, broad shoulders, sharp nose... stuff like that.

🌞 sun in scorpio, 17° / 2nd decan ruled by pluto and neptune

you're quite of a loner, you prefer spending time alone rather than with others. you're extremely intuitive, and you can read people like a book; they can't lie or keep secrets from you, you'll surely find out. you're pretty charismatic, and paired with your wise intellect it's hard not to agree with your ideas, especially considering that your moon is in aries. you're basically a leader, a very demanding one. you have high standards regarding everything: clothes, food, goals, people... you're always striving for the best, you don't want to settle down. on the other hand, even though it may take you a while to find someone worth of your affection, once that someone shows up you'll stay with them forever. you're deeply loyal, and also caring in your own way. that's because you value feelings, you can easily smell when someone isn't trustworthy. you're probably very protective of your friends and loved ones in general, sometimes even too much. this could even escalate and become a more serious issue, as scorpio is also the planet of obsession, after all. it's common for you to feel your emotions x2, as they're too intense to handle. you know everything about others, but you don't show off and gossip about it. actually, you keep the info for yourself and use it when you need it.

🌙 moon in aries, 14° / 2nd decan ruled by mars and mercury

you aim for greatness. this is where your strong desire to be the #1 comes from, pretty much. you're very proud of yourself, and you don't like to acknowledge your mistakes. you always want to look like you have your life together, even in certain moments when you feel lost. I would say that this is a sort of self-sabotaging mechanism, as you can literally go as far as forcing a smile if it shows the world that you can stand by yourself. overall, I would say you deal with your emotions in a very 'child-like' way; after all, aries is pretty self-centered. you tend to preserve yourself more, unless someone really special to you is involved. in fact, aries moon makes you really protective of your loved and trusted ones, even though they're not many because of your high standards. you're also very honest, you speak from your heart. while it's a positive trait, you may be too blunt and ruin your relationships because of that. you're both smart and fast, hence you may get annoyed when people mishear or misunderstand your words.

🗣 mercury in scorpio, 0° / 1st decan ruled by pluto

you're extremely blunt and straight-forward, you may actually hurt people with your words. you probably lack diplomacy, and you're very realistic. the thing is, you speak the truth, but not everyone can accept it. that's why your behaviour is so controversial. though, since you also have a libra rising, I assume you could manifest this side of you only when you react by impulse, when you're angry. otherwise, you try to be as well-spoken as possible. you speak fluent sarcasm, and that could annoy people who don't understand your sense of humor. you're probably good at lying, and even manipulating people. you may often make others change their mind just with your own words, but be careful not to use this skill to hurt others, or you'll only experience a sense of guilt and overall the bad sides of it. on the other hand, you're an extremely captivating speaker, you'd be successful at anything that involves the use of words and voice. you're truly intuitive, and it's easy for you to understand when someone is being honest or is lying to you. last but not least, you're very secretive as well. you're probably the type to know everything and anything about others, while you remain a mystery.

❤️ venus in sagittarius, 25° / 3rd decan ruled by jupiter and the sun

people may consider you flaky, as you value freedom above all. you may be the type that likes making new experiences regarding love, and you often date your crushes. yet, you feel too limited in a relationship. you don't enjoy committing to someone if that someone isn't perfect for you, you're only completely loyal to the one you consider your true love. you can't give up your freedom, your thirst for adventure and experiences for someone else. basically, your ideal partner would be a risk-taker, someone loyal but not too clingy, that is down to go on a road trip in every moment. someone impulsive, that could help you stepping out of your comfort-zone. you're probably into those youthful love stereotypes, e.g. high school dates. you want your relationships to be filled with excitement, you despise boring, traditional and cheesy things. you may also find yourself being attracted to unavailable people; that is, you could fall for people that are already taken, or maybe they're physically unavailable, e.g they live abroad or in another city in general. you're also attracted to foreigners, and people that have a wise, yet bubbly aura around them.

sagittarius venus square libra mars: this placement most likely gives you a short-temper. you may have lots of friends or lots of romantic partners, but you may find yourself being often irritated by them. you could argue with others over petty things, and this could affect your relationships significantly. at the same time, you enjoy fun, exciting relationships. you're the type who's looking for a risktaker, even dangerous partner. you hate boredom, and this may be your weakness regarding this placement; that is, once the relationship starts getting more serious, you feel as if it's going down, when it's actually the opposite. hence, you just run towards a new adventure. with this placement, what you need is learning to open up and being honest without being too blunt. you need to talk about your feelings, you can't bottle them up, but be careful not to sound rude, don't be too impulsive. because of your nature, the perfect partner for you would be someone mature, confident and empathetic that will understand you and won't get hurt by your words.

☄️ mars in libra, 3° / 1st decan ruled by venus

there’s this stereotype that libra mars people are passive-aggressive. it may be true, but only partially. in fact, you try to avoid conflicts exclusively when you’re in public, or maybe with someone you don’t know well. in that case, you can eventually try to avoid the problem. with people you’re close to, you’re pretty much the opposite. you may say the worst of things that you probably don’t even feel, you may even have the istinct to throw hands. you’re driven by a strong sense of justice, and you probably were the class’ snitch during daycare/primary school. you also strive for equality, hence you may get very defensive when it comes to proving your innocence, or just really anyone’s. overall, you’re a fair person with strong morals, who acts based on the situation you’re in.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in libra. you always try to be kind and friendly with people you don't know; you most likely don’t like conflicts, you prefer avoiding them, even though you may have some troubles with that due to your impulsive and fiery aries moon. you probably care a lot about your appearance, and because of that you could get insecure from time to time. usually, people with libra in their 1st house look for themselves in others, as their chart is basically upside down. yet, since you have mars conjunct the ascendant, you don’t depend on others as much as other libra risings. you’re still a free-spirit, you’re able to stand up and you come off as more fierce than the typical libra ascendant. you also have your scorpio mercury in this house; you enjoy communicating and intellectualism. you’re very curious about everything that surrounds you. you love expanding your knowledge, ideas and mind in general through communication, interactions and media. you have the ability to adapt quickly to new situations; your mind is fast, usually impulsive, and you are able to come up with new ideas and solutions quickly. since you’re constantly mentally active, physically you may also tend to play with your fingers or hair, or maybe you tend to gesticulate while you speak.

your 2nd house is in scorpio, with also your sun placed there. this placement can make you seem a bit selfish. in fact, you’re extremely possessive of your possessions, you don’t want to share them with others. there’s a lot of karma around your finances. in fact, if you’re too stingy, it may bite your butt. you need to give in order to receive, so I’d suggest you to share your things more with others. you could share a meal with a friend, for example. you’ll surely get something positive back from it. your finances may not be stable either; they are in constant change, and while this placement can make you earn quite a great amount of money, it can also make you lose everything you have. no inbetweens. the 2nd house is also about self-esteem, your relationship with your appearance. you have contrasting feelings about it; some days, you’re very confident. other days, you hate yourself. you may find flaws in every single picture you take or every pants you try on. it’s a very intense placement, as you may often feel as if you need to change your appearance in order to love yourself. based on other placements in your chart, it could manifest in spending money in a new wardrobe for example, as you feel like changing your style would help you boost your self-confidence.

your 3rd house is in sagittarius, with also your pluto, chiron and venus placed there. this is an amazing placement for a writer! you’re extremely open-minded and philosophical. you’d probably do great at poetry or just literature in general. you’re thirsty for knowledge, you aspire to learn everything you can, you enjoy being smart and educated. you most likely love comedy, and you have an amazing sense of humor yourself, you’re able to light up the room and make everyone burst into laughter even if you don’t mean to. you’re also very intelligent, you’re able to memorize things fast and you’re also a fast-learner. you may be less into gossips than other libras, as you’re very benevolent and considerate of others’ feelings. in addition, you’re able to see the good in everyone, there’s no reason for you to talk behind someone’s back. actually, it’s the opposite. you’re quite impulsive, you say things as they are. pluto here makes you extremely mysterious; you may like diving into dark topics, such as horror and crimes, or even witchy things such as astrology, crystals, tarots, etc. you may be good at keeping secrets, and you could often find people opening up to you. basically, you know everything about everyone, but others know nothing about you. chiron here indicates that you're probably insecure about the way you speak; you could stutter for example, or maybe you feel insecure about your voice. it could also be that you weren't that good in school, you probably learned better by yourself than in groups.

your 4th house is in capricorn, with also neptune placed there. I can tell that your childhood was quite complex. not necessarily bad, I don't see any kind of trauma, but you probably had to grow up way sooner than other kids. your parents could have been very hard-working and focused on their jobs, possibly wealthy too. they were very responsible and cared a lot about you, they always made sure you had everything you needed, even though they could have been slightly absent from time to time due to their jobs. people with a capricorn ic usually find something missing in their childhood, they had to deal with responsibilities from a young age. it could even be that you started working when you were still a teen, or maybe you had to take care of the house or of your siblings for them. neptune could have made you a bit more insecure as a child than other capricorn ics. you weren’t much extroverted, you preferred staying in, drawing, playing games etc. possibly, you were also close to arts, you used to express your feelings through creative outlets when you were a child. it could also be that one of your parents may be absent; they could be divorced, or in the worst case they might have died when you were pretty young.

your 5th house is in aquarius, with also your uranus placed there. you’re extremely creative, your ideas are very innovative, and you may have particular hobbies, interests or taste than others. when you’re able to fully express yourself, you gain full security and you start experimenting and inventing new things. you could be the type to start new fashion trends, music styles, art styles… basically, you’re a creative genius. your hobbies may also involve astrology, as well as human studies like psychology, or also anything that has to do with technology. you may be into videogames for example, tv series, social media… they’re your way to spend your free-time and relax. your relationships may also be very unconventional; you could usually date people online, or perhaps you may have the potential to meet someone through dating apps. they’re quite unstable, they may end out of the blue for example. yet, the part of fortune here makes it better; in fact, you’ll be able to achieve the best of your luck through creative outlets. again, if I were in you I’d definitely try writing something! you may also dedicate yourself to fashion, art, music, etc., anything that stimulates your creativity.

your 6th house is in pisces. in your daily life, you hardly ever have a structured schedule. you go with the flow, you take things as they come. you may often have your head in the clouds, you could get distracted easily and you may literally creative oscar-worthy movies in your head instead of doing what you need to do. your job may involve arts, images, possibly even fame. you should definitely use your creative talents for your possible career. also, you could benefit from helping others; you could be a psychologist or therapist of any kind, a nurse… any place where you’re able to help others. again, you could also help others through your art, hence with your lyrics, books, etc. when it comes to diets, workout routines, skincare routines etc. you could lack consistency, even though your libra and aries energy make you more motivated to take care of your appearance. you may sleep a lot, it’s easy for you to feel tired and stressed even when you’re not over-working yourself.

your 7th house is in aries, with also your moon conjunct the descendant. love is most likely not your priority in life. you need independence, and you’re able to stand up for yourself on your own. you don’t need someone else to help you. you tend to attract partners in your life that are hot-headed, stubborn, assertive and goal-oriented. they strive to be the best at everything they do, they’re extremely competitive and willing to do anything to achieve their goals. basically, you attract very dominant partners, but you don’t want to be dominated or controlled. you may often experience power struggles between you and your partner, which cause you issues in every relationship you get in. at the same time, you wouldn’t stand someone too submissive either, as you still need someone that would mentally stimulate you. they may actually be quite selfish and self-centered, they’ll care more about their own development rather than that of you two as a couple. an aries 7th house indicates that while you’ll have a very active, passionate spouse, you may also experience lots of arguments and discussions in your marriage life, perhaps even physical violence in the worst case. your moon here luckily makes things better; while you may often experience power-struggles with your partners, you most likely attract very empathetic and nurturing people as well that could help you with your temper.

your 8th house is in taurus, with also saturn sitting there. you have the most stable, stubborn sign in a house that requires constant change. you probably hate changing your routine and stepping out of your comfort zone. changes are hard for you to accept; you find it hard to change job all of a sudden for example, or even letting go of a toxic friend of yours can be stressful for you. also, you could be quite materialistic and fond of material possessions, causing you to be a bit too stingy, which isn’t good for your karma. another reason that this house contrasts with your 2nd house in scorpio is that you feel like you constantly need to change, but ironically slow taurus makes your changes way slower than usual. sometimes, when they happen, they’re so subtle that you probably can’t even see them or at least notice them at first. saturn here indicates that you struggle to open up; it may take you a while to get intimate with someone, not just physically but also mentally. you're very private, and you probably have trust issues as well, it's hard for you to trust people. as a result, your bonds with others could be a bit superficial. but luckily, as you grow mature, you'll be able to work out this problem and feel more comfortable with others.

your 9th house is in gemini, with also jupiter placed there. gemini in the 9th house cusp usually makes people a bit close-minded, as they are very logical and careful in their approach to the world. you may change your ideas and opinions quite quickly, to the point that you could seem unconsistent. when learning new things, you like exploring different matters and subject, from maths to literature, but you may struggle to focus on only one. as a result, you may lack precision. luckily, jupiter here is its natural place and helps you dealing with this placement; you're probably a fast-learner and you're very witty and curious, you like learning about anything you can. you probably like studying, not necessarily at school but studying in general, and you may also be skilled at foreign languages. you could also be interested in foreign matters, such as cultures, music, etc.

your 10th house is in cancer. your career needs to be private. that doesn’t mean that you can’t become famous of course, but you prefer being more hidden at work, you may even work from home or from a young age. many celebrities with this placement, in fact, started working when they were still young. also, cancer indicates that your future job will give you the opportunity to express and / or deal with your / others’ feelings and emotions, and considering that the ruler of this house, the moon, is in the 7th house, I can see you working with other people. you could become a teacher, a counselor, as well as a nurse, a therapist… anything that allows you to express your emotions while also helping others is suitable for you. you could possibly also choose the same career as your parents, or you may handle the family’s business for example. you could also end up doing the job of your childhood dreams. you feel the need to pursue a meaningful career in your life, you want to feel emotionally connected to it. you don’t only want something that allows you to earn money, you also want to gain wisdom and maturity from a job, and hence you could even be a bit picky in choosing your future career.

your 11th house is in leo. with this placement, you’re probably very popular among your friends, you’re most likely the most talkative or funniest member of your group. you may also attract very popular people yourself in your friendships, perhaps even celebrities. possibly, you could even make friends that allow you to gain recognition and / or popularity, doesn’t matter whether it’s in school, job, etc. you could also have very big dreams for your future, probably regarding your career and finances. you most likely aspire to be wealthy and financially independent, you are very hard-working and possibly even a bit materialistic.

your 12th house is in virgo. this is another placement that indicates that you are an amazing writer! in fact, the 12th house is about secret skills too, and virgo is ruled by mercury, the planet of communication. you do the math. with this placement, though, I feel like you may feel restricted from pursuing your goals, or even a career in the public eye, as you’re quite sensitive to others’ criticism about you. you strive to be perfect all the time, and your libra rising wants to constantly have a nice reputation. a scandal, or even simple haters, would probably be the end of you. you also have venus placed here, meaning that deep down, you actually crave affection from someone else. yet, you may be afraid, or perhaps too shy to approach a possible partner. but remember, the 12th house is also the house of secret talents! in fact, especially with your libra rising, you’re extremely likeable. you shouldn’t be afraid of not being liked back, for example. remember that your love life will get better with time, as you become more mature in that field. mars is also placed in this house; with this placement, I assume that you may struggle to take action. you may try to avoid conflicts at all costs, to the point that you could actually start victimizing yourself. you could struggle to accomplish your goals, you try to be productive but you may get lazy and procrastinate very often.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love you attract aries, cancer, gemini, sagittarius and libra placements. your future spouse will most likely have aquarius and gemini traits placements; they’ll be very similiar to you: bold and confident, but also with a warm heart and a hidden insecurity to them. you may meet them in a place near water, so maybe at the sea or near a lake. you may also meet them in a church, in a temple or any place related to spirituality. you could see them first in your dreams, or perhaps you're going to meet at a hospital or at the doctor's. also, your spouse will most likely be one of your soulmates, and hence once you meet them you’ll probably have this ‘I’ve already seen you before’ feeling. they’ll seem very familiar, and you’ll find emotional comfort in them. your children will have strong aquarius, possibly capricorn placements. they’ll be very dreamy, they’ll have big goals for their life, and they’ll also be extremely intelligent and creative as well.

👶🏻 family life

your father is probably a very caring person that knows how to stand up for himself when he has to, but he may struggle to do that. he’s very smart, caring and optimistic, even though he may be a bit childish at times. he could have cancer placements in his chart, possibly aries too. your mother, on the other hand, is a bit more serious and focused on work, but she always made sure you always had what you needed. she was probably the strict parent in the family, but she still has some sweetness and nice humor to her. also, she may have capricorn, aquarius, pisces or taurus placements in her chart. if you have siblings, they most likely have sagittarius, taurus, scorpio and / or libra placements in their chart. they could be foreign or skilled at foreign languages, and you may feel very at ease with them. you have an amazing bond with them, you’re able to both relax and have fun together, even though you may discuss often. you could have been very jealous of each other when you were kids, maybe.

📊 career

as I've already mentioned above, you're going to pursue a career that will allow you to interact with others. you would probably do amazing at a job that requires you to help people, you could make a great nurse or psychologist for instance. you may also work as a teacher of any kind, not necessarily a professor or school teacher. you may also become a chief or a boss in your job, since the ruler of your midheaven (career), the moon, is in the sign of aries, the leader sign. I definitely see you being successful in whatever you choose, you could become very independant and financially stable thanks to your job. possibly, you may also have a business with your future spouse. you could also work with children or for family, as a counselor for example. anything that allows you to interact with and help others would be great for you, as it would make you more empathetic and sensitive to the external world.

👕 fashion sense, style analysis

your sagittarius energy screams grunge! you probably love 90s/00s aesthetic, with fishnets, black, burgundy, belts, leather jackets... all of this stuff. also, oversized clothes are a must for you. you may especially be fond of wearing tight tops with baggy jeans or viceversa: tight pants, possibly leggins, with big, long sweatshirts and t-shirts. it's very comfortable, but you still make it look trendy and particular with your charisma. you may also love printed things, especially graphic t-shirts. for shoes, I'd say trendy sneakers and boots are a must in your wardrobe.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past existence, you were very in touch with your home, self, and probably marriage too. overall, your past life was very peaceful, especially when it comes to your family. this lifetime, though, you need to focus on letting the world know who you are. you have to build a reputation for your name and feel satisfied with your career, while still taking care of your family.

🤔 major transits analysis / april 4th

the sun is currently transiting in your aries 7th house, exactly conjunct your moon. you could be feeling very needy lately, perhaps even a bit emotional. you want to be with people, maybe with your loved ones, you feel like you need a lot of care and attention but at the same time you could be quite moody. you may get angry or disappointed easily, so beware of that. jupiter, on the other hand, is in your 5th house; you may be lacking discipline in these days, perhaps you tend to procrastinate as you feel quite tired and you have to relax. of course it's ok to take some time for yourself, but remember to be responsible as well; hard work pays off.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

the best way for you to manifest is idealizing and acting at the same time. you have both energies combined in your chart, which is great actually! I’d suggest you to first picture what you want in your life, and then do something concrete to manifest it. for example, let’s suppose you want this gucci bag; first, think about it deeply. then, you could try going into a gucci shop and just walk around, maybe even touch that bag. you’ll get results if you believe it! it’s also great to write and read/listen your own positive affirmations, such as 'I love my gucci bag’, 'the gucci bag my mom gave me is amazing’ and so on.

and this is the end! thank you again for booking a reading, let me know if it resonated :)

- libramc xx

[fearlessandless]

Lover - first listen thoughts

This got very long and I’m not sure my stream of consciousness makes a lot of sense but I wanted to write down my thoughts on each song as I listen through the album for the first time. (under the cut)

I Forgot That You Existed--”It isn’t love it isn’t hate it’s just indifference” is very powerful, and somehow reminds me of “The opposite of war isn’t peace, it’s creation” from Rent. Also I love the theater thing of speaking a word instead of singing it for emphasis, and this has that going for it too.

Cruel Summer--I definitely need to look at the lyrics to this one, I can’t understand all those drawn out words great. Everyone who called those lyrics as being from this song are right! “I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you” is a mood.

Lover--I’d obviously heard this one before, and I still love it. Will say that I /might/ have teared up at the music video. Best song to dance around the kitchen in the refrigerator light to.

The Man--Hella relatable, will definitely sing along loudly in the car. I was already singing along with the chorus before I’d got through the whole song once.

The Archer--Also not a first listen, but a very good track 5. I did go back and watch the youtube stream (missed it the first go round for practice) and see it live, and that hit different too. Shoutout to the background singers, I love them.

I Think He Knows--This is a very New Taylor song. I like the rhythm and the shifts in rhythm for the vocals--the beat beat beat of the chorus to the speedy near-rap to the slow down for emphasis. Shoutout to “I am an architect, I’m drawing up the plans” and description of a “lyrical smile” but also I am definitely mishearing some of the lyrics so this is another one I’ll need to look up. 

Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince--This one feels very much like it was inspired by looking through those old journals. I love how Old Taylor Meets New Taylor it is. Also, I’m very into the background cheerleaders on this. Would love to see a video for this one, and failing that I will be heavily looking forward to the tour visuals. 

Paper Rings--This! It has a very retro feel that I am super into. If my boyfriend and I were actually good dancers, I would pick THIS as our first dance. A swingy ballroom thing choreographed to this song would be SO GOOD!

Cornelia Street--Love the opening imagery, and then it turns out to be a lot more Emotional than I was expecting. I’ll take a few more listens to figure this one out. Will say I can definitely relate to losing someone and then avoiding anything that reminds me of them (although sometimes it’s more an All Too Well sit on the floor wearing your clothes type of thing). The tenses/timing are a little confusing to me, so I haven’t quite worked out the story.

Death By A Thousand Cuts--Admittedly I got interrupted by ads between this one and the last one because I’m streaming on Spotify, but this feels very fitting to goafter Cornelia Street. A bubbly sort of breakup song. 

London Boy--Fun fact, I heard this one on the radio as I was driving home from Target this morning; came in the middle and quickly recognized it as a new Taylor Swift song. I’ve been to London a couple times and read quite a few books by British authors so I really appreciate the references. Very fun song!

Soon You’ll Get Better--This is absolutely a song I’m going to have to skip most of the time because I Will cry every time I listen to it and I just can’t handle it. The start of buttons on a coat evokes both love (i.e. You Are In Love) and the big coat in The Best Day and I. Cannot. Handle it.

False God--Very jazzy/bluesy. I don’t love this one, mostly because I’m Actually Religious and don’t care for comparisons of romance to religion. Especially if you’re literally calling it out as a false god like that’s not a bad thing. 

You Need to Calm Down--Another one I’ve already had on repeat for a while. I liked this when I first heard it, loved it when the music video came out.

Afterglow--Not at ALL what I was expecting. It’s an apology song more along the lines of Back to December.

ME!--Album version does NOT include “Hey kids! Spelling is FUN!” and I’m sad about it. If Shake It Off can include a speech in the middle of it, ME! should get that line. 

It’s Nice to Have a Friend--Nostalgic and soft. It’s sincere, not a This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things, which I thought it might have been.

Daylight--Very glow up sort of song. It’s got the love song aspect of being addressed to a “you” but also it’s about stepping into the daylight and letting it go. And Yes, it is a lyric! Ends with a speech/voice memo sort of thing about being defined by the things we love.

[hnnnfdfds]

If it's not too much trouble, can you write chuuatsu for the red string au?

Of course it’s no trouble, Anon!! Also I really craved some Chuuatsu, so thanks for the request!!!

Summary: All his life he saw those red strings, connecting people with other people – or that’s how it should have been, according to different kind of tales. No one he met, was connected to their lover. It was… like a punch in the face for him. It hurt. He wanted to believe in it – that there is a person that could love him, no matter what. He wanted to, but seeing all others, he realized that he might not end up with that person.

Then one day, he woke up with his string cut.Ao3

He cut his string.

How he did it was still a mystery, but he didn't dwell on it for too long. Honestly, he couldn’t care less about those damn things, they were only an annoyance. Like, who the hell needed some strings to determine who he should love? After all it didn’t matter in the end. When he walked through the streets, observing lovers, they never shared a string. In other words, fate could fuck itself. He didn’t get why he was the one to seem them, out of all those people in the world. He hated those damn strings, and his life was much easier before he woke up one day, suddenly seeing them – everything went worse after that. He spent months in frustration, because he didn’t know what to do. Especially not, with the string around his own pinkie. Eventually, after picking up a tale on them, he realized that he could just cut the string.

The characters in the book might have not succeeded with it, but he wasn’t in a book and a try wouldn’t hurt. So, he did it. And it functioned. Now, he was standing in his room, looking at the cut string. It was kind of weird to be honest. Once he cut it, the fallen off string on the ground, vanished in thin air after seconds and the only thing left remaining, was the little part tied around his pinkie, hanging in the air. He tried to take it off, but the string wouldn’t come off, so now he had to keep it. With a sigh, he sat down on his bed, after laying the scissors away. It could have been worse, couldn’t it?

In that moment his ringtone went off, and he took his phone, sighing, as he saw who dialed him – Dazai, that fucking moron. Despite his irritation, he picked up, praying, that his sanity would stay intact. Calls with Dazai were always that horrible and unpredictable.

“What do you want, bandage-wasting-device.”

“Ouch, what a harsh greeting, Chuuya!”

He wasn’t sure how to deal with that.

Granted, he wasn’t sure how to deal with everything, but that was a different kind of, I-have-no-idea-what-I-am-supposed-to-do situation.

All his life he saw those red strings, connecting people with other people – or that’s how it should have been, according to different kind of tales. No one he met, was connected to their lover. It was… like a punch in the face for him. It hurt. He wanted to believe in it – that there is a person that could love him, no matter what. He wanted to, but seeing all others, he realized that he might not end up with that person.

After all there was always someone better than him, wasn’t there?

But he shook his head, and told himself he would find that person, even if just for closure.

That’s what he believed until he woke up one day, his string cut.

Why?

Just what did he wrong?

Fate hated him, he was sure of that.

“You know, I wonder if soulmates are real.”

He scoffs at the other’s question.

“You shouldn’t spend your brain cells on such useless questions,” he replies, sitting down on the couch, and sighing. Chuuya wasn’t in a good mood. Recently, the whole thing with the soulmates and strings seemed to follow him everywhere and anywhere. Irritating. Annoying. Why did it have to haunt him?

“Really? I don’t believe the question is useless,” Dazai says that, sitting down beside the other, and grinning.

“Well, you’re stupid.” Maybe not his best excuse, but by now both knew that Dazai was anything but stupid, so it didn’t really matter. Then he looks at the other, wanting to say another insult, but he stops. Because the other is smiling that sad smile he always wears, whenever he seems to know just a bit too much in everyone’s opinion.

“You know, looking at you, sometimes make me think they’re real. Those soulmates,” and then chuckles, and shakes his head softly, “but maybe that’s just my imagination.”

Dazai, Chuuya can’t help but think, knows too much.

But there’s some truth in it, and Chuuya would know that the best. He still can remember the string in his hand, and they way it felt when he cut it. There are just too many wrong things in that world.

One week later, Chuuya sits in a little café, looking at the pretty waiter, smiling at him. He can’t take gaze away from the other’s eyes. That’s a first for Chuuya.

“Uhm, sir…? H-how can I help you?”

He snaps out of it and blinks a bit. Right, he can’t space out! So, he orders a black coffee, and makes sure to smile back. No need to be grumpy, his whole staring was already weird enough. And it’s when the waiter turns around and walks, that his eyes catch one little detail. The waiter’s sting… was cut off. For a moment, he is back in that room, with those scissors and that red, red string. Where his heart keeps beating faster, and he wonders if all his decisions were that stupid, and why he can’t get a grip. But having that string feels so wrong, and he envies all those people, who can walk on in their life, unable to see those hellish strings, that just ruin everything wonderful about lo-

“Are you ok, sir?”

The waiter is back, looking at him with concern. There’s also a cup with coffee in front of Chuuya, and he sighs. It just never stops, doesn’t it?

“I’m fine,” he replies, tired and feeling all kinds of wrong. But he can’t be rude now.

“… The cup of coffee is on house.”

His eyes widen, and he looks up at the waiter, wondering if he misheard.

“Wait, wh- “

“It’s ok, I’ll pay for it.”

No, he obviously didn’t mishear.

“But…!”

He wants to protest, but the waiter has already turned around, and is walking away.

“It’s fine! You had a bad day? M-maybe this will lighten it up.”

Speechless, Chuuya looks after the other, cut, red string trailing in the air after its owner. Somehow, the sight is too pretty. Quietly, he responds, “Thank you.” He’s sure to come back to that café.

There are kind people in this world too, after all.

And, surprisingly, he does. A lot. In fact, he becomes one of the most known customers, and everyone knows his name. It’s quite… the nice feeling, he has to admit. A sense of attachment, he guesses. But he also learns interesting stuff about the café and its staff.

There’s Akutagawa, who always seems to appear from nowhere, with a book in his hands. And god, Chuuya recognizes every book, because he knows the person who wrote them, an annoying guy, who constantly crashes at his place, eats his stuff and asks stupid things.

Then there’s Kyouka and… well, she is his little sister. He’s surprised she decided to help out in that café, so he asks her for the reason.

“Money for my sweets, “is the answer he gets from her. Of course, what else?

Next comes Kenji, who works mostly morning shifts, and he’s always brightly smiling and optimistic. He’s also pretty strong, because Chuuya has seen him carry a fridge once, all alone, and he probably will never forget that sight.

Then there’s Higuchi, and honestly, Chuuya has seen her more with sunglasses than without. She’s got a crush on Akutagawa, and everyone knows that but said guy in question. But she takes it in stride and continues without showing any distress. She makes good cookies, he realizes one day, when she brings some, and the whole café turns into a battlefield.

The last two waiters are Ranpo and Atsushi, and he comes to the understanding, that those two come in a double pack. They share the same shifts and are generally seen together all the time. At first, he thought they were in a rather intimate relationship, but one day a guy came into the store, and it didn’t take long for Chuuya to find out, that guy was Ranpo’s boyfriend (he will never forget opening the bathroom door on that fated day, and everything that was beyond it).

Eventually, he found out, that Ranpo and Atsushi grew up as brothers, and because Atsushi was rather – bless that pure and kind guy – naïve, he got into a lot of trouble. So, Ranpo decided to play his caretaker, and it was clear he wouldn’t stop anytime soon. It was an amusing sight sometimes.

But in the end, there was still one thing that bothered him greatly. And that was Atsushi’s cut string. For some reason it just wouldn’t leave his mind, and deep inside, Chuuya already knew why. He just had to acknowledge it. When though?

Then it happened one day.

He walked into the café, a bit earlier than usual, but not too much. Then he saw Atsushi, sitting at one table (the table, Chuuya normally used), and stared intently at his hand. At first, Chuuya was confused, because there was nothing to stare at. But then, although a bit slowly, realization hit him.

The string.

And because he couldn’t stop himself, he spoke up, “The strings… can you see them?”

Atsushi’s expression at those words, was answer enough for him.

He should have been happy. He wasn’t the only one. He really should have been happy.

Instead he turned around, and quickly left the café.

“Ohhh, Chuuya is in a bad mood again?”

“…Shut up.”

He’s still unsure why he didn’t already punch the other. It was silent for a while after that. But then, Dazai sat down beside him, and smiled that cursed smile of his.

“You know… I started writing on a new book.”

“Nice,” was his curt reply.

“… It’s about the red strings of fate.”

That’s when Chuuya really looked at the other.

“… What?”

Dazai just grinned.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about that one question…”

Chuuya narrows his eyes at the other, unsure what will come next.

“… what if someone actually manages to cut his string?”

And time seems to freeze for him.

Atsushi wasn’t that stupid.

He could see the strings. Chuuya could see the strings, and both of their strings are cut. Then comes Chuuya’s reaction… it was only too easy to find the solution.

He sighed, a bit unsure about the whole situation. He really wanted to speak with Chuuya, but the other ran away, and Atsushi doesn’t know where he lives. But apparently fate didn’t hate him that much, because one week later, Chuuya walked into the café and asked Atsushi, if he could speak with him. So, they did. Left the café and walked around a bit. And after some silence, Chuuya said something.

“I’m sorry for running away and for cutting that string.”

Bold. But honestly, that’s what Atsushi needed.

“Why did you do it?”

“Because I don’t be in fated love.”

And so, Chuuya told him everything. It didn’t make everything right, but it was a start. And gazing into the other’s eyes, Chuuya knew that wouldn’t be the last time he stared at them.

Kunikida kept staring at the manuscript in his hands, with a sense of wonderment.

“This is… really good.”

“Hmm, I know, right?”

“But say,” Kunikida mutters, looking up from the manuscript, to the guy who wrote it, “what’s the answer to the question? To why the string could been finally cut, after so many decades of it being impossible?”

Dazai smirks, “but Kunikida isn’t that obvious? They don’t need it anymore! They don’t need that string to keep them together, that’s how great their love is!”

“… That’s… your insane.”

“I know, right?”

[hemcountry]

CHRIS SHIFLETT'S 'WEST COAST TOWN' SWOOPS UNDER THE RADAR AS AN ALBUM OF 2017

When the call came through asking me if I’d like to interview Chris Shiflett, there was only a very momentary pause before I gave my reply. The kind of pause that comes from being asked a question that you’re almost afraid you misheard because if you did, the sense of disappointment would be just gigantic. Crushing, almost. But on the other hand, if you didn’t mishear, if you did actually hear what you thought you did, well then…something potentially awesome was about to happen at the end of that pause!

Chris Shiflett live on stage

Chris Shiflett, of course, is the lead guitarist with rock band the Foo Fighters, who are without a shadow of a doubt, and by any man’s measure, one of the world’s greatest bands of the modern rock era. But, as epic a role as that is to have on your bio, Chris is way more than just the Foo Fighters lead guitarist. He’s also Chris Shiflett of Chris Shiflett and the Dead Peasants. And the Chris Shiflett who gave us the honky tonk and country covers collection with the gloriously Texan inspired title of ‘All Hat And No Cattle.’ And that same Chris Shiflett who, as host of his own podcast, has interviewed men and women of the music world who have literally inspired millions all around the world. And last April Chris released his latest solo offering, ‘West Coast Town.’

So, was I interested in chatting with Chris? Well, that pause I mentioned was all of a half a heartbeat long (so not very!). All I needed to know was when!

Well, that moment came earlier today, and as ways to spend a Wednesday morning in June go, it’ll take some beating, that’s for sure.

  Chris Shifflett – West Coast Town available now

  Every song on ‘West Coast Town’ was recorded in about two or three takes. I began by asking Chris if that had been part of his plan at the beginning or did things just naturally start to go in that direction, so that’s how he kept things going?

“Well, I think that’s how Dave Cobb, the guy who produced my record, normally operates, ya know. I went into it really with no plan, other than I was just gonna follow his lead. And listen. And he said right from the beginning, I think even before we tracked a song, he said something about how sometimes you can go past the good takes. And I think that he was right about that. So I think a big part of it for me was just not over-thinking it, and just trusting his instinct on when we got the best take.”

Is there a little bit more pressure or a little bit more freedom involved in trying to capture a song in as few as two or three takes?

“I think it’s probably more freedom really. I mean, the way that we made this record, I didn’t go in with a band. So it wasn’t like I had a group of musicians that I was rehearsing with, and demoing, and doing all that sort of thing. So for everyone in the room, but me, when we would start working on a song, that was the first time they’d heard it. So it really was very fresh. We would just run through it with acoustic guitars a couple of times, kinda make some tweaks to the arrangement, and then jam on it a couple of times, and then press record. And that was that.”

Chris Shiflett

So in essence, once in the studio his songs actually ended up being new again for Chris himself, too?

“Oh big time, yeah. Cos’ we were changing them so much that I was having to adapt to the changes just like everybody else. And really, and this is no exaggeration when I say this, I was not paying close attention to what anybody else was doing. It’s true because I was just trying to focus on what I was was doin’! Like, I was tryin’ to nail down my take, ya know. Si I wasn’t even thinkin’ about what anybody else was doin’.”

In putting ‘West Coast Town’ together, did Chris have a vision in mind of the kind of album he wanted to end up with, or was it more a case of looking at the collection of songs he had available at a certain point and then working out a way to best fit some of them together?

“Well I definitely had a vision for what I wanted to do, but ya know, it changed a lot once I got out to Nashville and made the record. If you were to listen to the demos i made of the songs before I went out there, they changed a lot! And for the better, too. So, I think it’s the same with any album, ya know. You go into it sorta thinkin’ it’s gonna go in one direction, but it kinda goes into a different place ultimately. You can’t really predict these things.”

Chris Shiflett live on stage

Given that Chris writes so much, I wondered if it ever gets a little bit frustrating if his other musical commitments (being in the Foo Fighters) maybe prevent him from being able to release as many of his own songs as he’d like to, or as often as he’d like to? Or would that even be the case at all?

“No, and you know it’s funny because I’m goin’ into a Foo Fighter tour like this week, where we’re gonna go and do a bunch of festivals this summer. I’ve been so sorta consumed for so many months, because not only did I make ‘West Coast Town’, but it takes a long time then to put your record out. So all my energy kinda focused on that, ya know, and all the little bits and pieces of getting a record out, then going out on tour, cos’ I was touring in the States. So I’m actually really looking forward to this month of shows. Cos’ I know that I’m gonna have a lot of time to sit with my guitar in hotel rooms all over the place. And I’ve got a bunch of half-finished song ideas that I want to hammer out. So it’s kinda the opposite [of being frustrating]. I mean, when Foos are workin’ a lot, of course I’m focused on that. But there’s always lots of time to work on my own stuff as well.”

As well as being a member of one of the world’s biggest and coolest bands, and working on all of his own musical projects, Chris has also been hosting his ‘Walking The Floor’ podcast since 2013, for which he gets to interview all kinds of amazing artists. But how did ‘Walking The Floor’ come about in the first place?

“Well the initial idea actually came from my friend Joe, who’s one of the guys who owns SideOneDummy Records, who put my records out. It was around the time that I put out that ‘All Hat And No Cattle’ album. He said, hey, you should make a podcast, it would help promote your record. And I was like, yeah, that’s a good idea, ya know. And then I sorta thought, well what would my podcast be? And at the time, the only one I listened to was the Mark Maron podcast, so I just kinda modelled it after that. It sort of evolved into mostly being focused on Americana and country artists. It’s fun, ya know, and it’s super educational for me to get to sit and talk with people like Marty Stuart, Rodney Crowell, Dwight Yoakam, Merle Haggard, and all of these guys that I looked up to. To get to hear their story in their words, and get to have a little conversation with them, it’s cool.”

Obviously being in a band like Foo Fighters brings with it plenty of experience of interview situations. But that apart, did Chris have any kind of journalistic background or anything of that nature before ‘Walking The Floor’?

“None at all! [laughs]. And I’ll tell ya what, man, it has really given me a much bigger respect for people who do interviews, ya know. Cos’ it’s not always easy! You go into an interview with your prepared list of questions, but then the conversation can take some crazy left turn and you kinda just have to react to it. And of course you know from my podcast that it’s like a long-form conversational interview. I always prepare a bunch of notes and questions and have some different things that I want to ask people about, but my goal at every interview is that I never have to look at my questions, that I never have to look at my notes. Cos’ if I can do that you just sort of stay in the flow with it.”

Chris with Brad Paisley

As well as the artists Chris has already mentioned, he’s also interviewed people like Steve Earle, Robbie Fulks, Brad Paisley, and Imelda May for his podcast. But does he have a favourite?

“My favourite interview? God, I mean there’s been so many. The fact that I got to interview Merle Haggard sticks out, that’s definitely one of them. That was a great conversation and he passed away not too long after that, maybe six or eight months later. So that one I’m really proud of. Some of the other ones then, well Lucinda Williams was really fun. And I was nervous, ya know, cos’ I had never met her and I just didn’t know what to expect, and it was Valentine’s Day! Sometimes when you interview someone that you’re such a big fan of, I go into super-nervous. And I was nervous to interview her. But she was very welcoming and disarming. And also, of my recent ones, Marty Stuart was amazing, Rodney Crowell was incredible. There’s been a bunch, man.”

And is there anyone who he’d love to talk with but it just hasn’t happened yet?

“There’s a lot! Yeah, I mean there’s so many. I would love to interview Chris Stapleton. I would love to interview Margo Price. I would love to interview Loretta Lynn, that would be amazing. It’s an endless list, there’s so many that I still haven’t gotten to yet.”

Chris with Rodney Crowell

Something that I, as a writer myself too, really love about Chris is the fact that he works so hard on the craft of songwriting. He tries to write every day, he’s taken a songwriting workshop, and he’s even once considered joining a storytelling group in order to see how that might make him a better writer. So from a songwriting point of view, I wondered what has been Chris’s proudest moment, and also, has there been anything like a point he’d describe as the lowest?

“Well basically every album I’ve done of my own songs, up until this one, after I had done them there was so many things that I wanted to change. I think with lyrics, I used to write the lyrics almost as an after-thought. I didn’t spend enough time revising and editing, and that I regret. When I look back now and look at my earlier songwriting, I think the best ones were the ones that were like the ones on this record, on ‘West Coast Town’, that really just tell a story, ya know. I think my favourite song off the new album is probably the title track.”

The worse thing about interviews like this is that you have to keep an eye on the clock. Because as sure as there was someone else in the queue for the artist’s time before you, you can bet your life that there’ll be one waiting in line to follow you, too. When you’re talking to someone as interesting as Chris, that’s definitely a downside. But it’s an understandable part of the business of show! So, reluctantly and unfortunately, we arrived all too soon at what had to be our last question.

Chris has stated previously that reading every day is as important to his songwriting as actually writing every day is. I wondered was there anything else he’d advise songwriters to do on a daily basis to help hone and develop their skills?

“Well I think it’s different for everybody. Ya know I talk to a lot of songwriters about their process and everybody has a different version of what they do. I just know that for me, the more that I write, the better I’m writing. And part of that is to do with where you like your confidence level. Like, the more I write, the more confident I am as a writer. The ideas seem to come quicker and easier.”

‘West Coast Town’, the brilliant new album from Chris Shiflett, is OUT NOW!

CHRIS SHIFLETT’S ‘WEST COAST TOWN’ SWOOPS UNDER THE RADAR AS AN ALBUM OF 2017 was originally published on HEM COUNTRY