#but it was interesting to see them bring in details as character beats

[writers-potion]

Could I ask for tips on how to write kisses?

Writing The Perfect Kiss Scene

#1 Find the RIGHT moment

We all know what I mean! The "zing" when the character's faces are get close enough must come unexpected (but) when both of them are looking for romance/comfort.

For example:

Tripping over each other in the hallway

Person A covering their face with their hands and Person B prying them off, their eyes meeting...

Sitting next to each other in the library, elbows touching, and they happen to turn around to face each other...

Find a natural way to bring your characters the romantic atmosphere!

#2 Noticing the Other Person

It's natural to to see someone in a different way when there's romantic vibe pulsating in the air. Maybe your character notices that their crush has a speck of green in their eyes they didn't notice before.

#3 Build Ups

Describe how the characters feel moments before their lips touch. This includes things like racing hearts, sweaty palms, unsteady breathing. etc.

#4 Feeling all Self-Conscious

If you're writing a first-person POV or want to portray the nervous excitement of kissing a love interest for the first time, you can afford to have your character be distracted by how they feel inside, or worrying about how they smell/look, etc.

Maybe they feel like it's too early in the relationship to kiss

They're still thinking about that annoying math problem

Did I apply my new cherry-flavored chapstick? etc.

This should come in the same beat as the "notice the other person", heightening the romance tension between the characters.

Once they get closer and the kiss actually happens, these worries will melt away!

#4 Describing the Details

In most cases, it's best to keep things understated (especially in regards to tongues)

tongues cannot "tangle" or "battle" or "swish around"...please, no.

Focus on the lips and how the characters move (like hugging, pushing the other against a wall, breathing, etc.), adding the tongue as an afterthought.

Don't get too exicted about taste.

No, her tongue didn't taste like fresh roses and peaches, unless she was eating peach candy right before the kiss.

Focus on other sensations other than taste: especially touch, heat. the tickle of his breath on her cheekc, etc. Or even the smell of shampoo.

#5 The Pullaway + Reaction

Does the kiss end naturally, or does something else interrupt them?

How do the characters react: do they blush, say something, hug he other person, or run away with a deep blush? For couples, they can even tease the other.

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[fuckyeahisawthat]

Furiosa thoughts

About 48 hours after watching, I think my take on Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga is coalescing into: I enjoyed it as a Mad Max movie but found it disappointing as a Fury Road prequel.

Any Mad Max movie made after Fury Road was always going to suffer the fate of being compared to Fury Road, which is the best action movie ever made. So like, compared to any other action movie you can think of, Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (we'll call it FMMS going forward) is very very good! It just isn't Fury Road.

The rest is under the cut for spoilers:

The action sequences were compelling. (I was aware I was hunched forward in my seat in tension/anticipation almost the entire time.) Some of them were even brilliant. That long sequence where the Octoboss and the Mortiflyers (yes those are their names) are attacking the War Rig with all kinds of airborne contraptions? Phenomenal. I was like yes okay now we are in a Mad Max movie! Other than that one sequence, though, in which we see Furiosa and Praetorian Jack begin to trust each other, I thought they rarely achieved the kind of wordless advancement of character relationships through action beats that is the lifeblood of Fury Road. So the action was good, but it was just normal-good, not Fury Road transcendent.

I did miss John Seale's cinematography. While I thought the action choreography was great, the shot selection was just not as dynamic and interesting as in Fury Road. I also really did not vibe with so much of the musical themes being recycled from Fury Road. The Fury Road score is SO memorable and the music is such an integral part of the momentum and feeling of every scene in the movie; I can play that score and see every beat of the action unfolding in my brain now. I wanted new score that felt like it was a part of this new action that we were seeing.

I loved all the new worldbuilding details and finally getting to see inside Gastown and the Bullet Farm. Those locations and their unique features were utilized really well for the action that took place in them. Loved the new details we got about the Citadel. The grappling hooks just dipping down to yoink people's vehicles during battle? Fantastic. The hidden Citadel ledge with the little pool of water?? That was such a fanfic-ready location. Pretty sure I already wrote at least one fic set there back in like 2016.

The Green Place! Very different from what I imagined but so much worldbuilding in just a few shots.

In general I thought the new cast rose to the challenge. Alyla Browne who played little kid Furiosa I thought was phenomenal actually. That's a tough role, both emotionally and physically, for a child actor and she slayed it. Casting Indigenous model and actress Charlee Fraser to play Furiosa's mother certainly made the Stolen Generation parallels more obvious. I'll have a lot more to say about Dementus down below, but Chris Hemsworth brought a great combo of bonkers and menacing.

I never doubted that Anya Taylor-Joy could bring the emotional intensity needed to the role--she can do crazy eyes like nobody's business, and with the growl she put in her voice she really did sound like Charlize Theron a bit. I found her physicality convincing for a young Furiosa. But she is not Charlize, through no fault of her own. Charlize is tall and she has broad shoulders and she just takes up so much space when moving and fighting as Furiosa and I think it was always going to be hard to replicate that. As long as they didn't try too hard to bridge the gap between the characters I was fine with it. But that one scene at the end where she's bringing the Wives to the Rig I was very viscerally like that is NOT our Furiosa. (I almost wish they would've used Charlize's stunt double for that scene the way they popped Jacob Tomuri into Max's place.) They could have simply left a time gap--based on the "15 years" she says to Dementus and the 7,000+ days we hear about in Fury Road there should be at least a 4-year gap between the film timelines, although in terms of bridging the look of the two actors it feels like it should be more like 10 years.

If FMMS had been a self-contained movie about a character named Furiosa in the Mad Max universe, I think I would have found it very satisfying. But as a prequel to Fury Road there were a bunch of ways I thought it was lacking on a story level.

I think it's pretty clear that this is not the backstory, or at least not the complete backstory, that Charlize Theron was imagining while playing Furiosa. Which...there's nothing objectively wrong with that; word of God and what actors think about their characters doesn't supersede what's on film for determining what is canon. However, Fury Road positions Joe as Furiosa's main antagonist, and while we don't get the full story behind the incandescent rage she directs at him, we know that rage is there and is a big part of her motivation. In interviews at the time, Charlize talked about the idea that Furiosa had been stolen to be a Wife but then was discovered to be infertile and discarded, how she survived by hiding in the Citadel and eventually rose to a position of power, how she saw her actions not as saving the Wives but as stealing them, and that her motivation at least starts out as more about hurting Joe than helping these women.

We get only the tiniest suggestion of Furiosa's backstory in Fury Road ("I was taken as a child, stolen") and the rest we piece together by implication. She is a healthy full-life woman working for a man who keeps healthy full-life women as sex slaves, hoping one of them will produce a viable male heir for him. She is effectively a general in his army, projecting his power on the wasteland, a position no other woman seems to occupy. She tells Max she is seeking "redemption." Redemption for what? She doesn't say. But "whatever she has done to win a position of power within this misogynist death cult" seems like a pretty obvious answer.

And that's interesting! That's an interesting backstory that engages with some of the core themes and moral questions of the Mad Max universe. These movies deal a lot with the tension between self-preservation and human connection. Do you screw someone else over to protect yourself? Even if it means putting them in the terrible position that you yourself have clawed your way out of? Even if it means enforcing your own oppressor's power over them? Or do you take the risk of helping people and caring enough to connect with them, even though this carries an emotional and physical risk?

FMMS doesn't really engage with Furiosa's relationship to Joe like, at all. It's not like Joe comes off looking like a good guy. He's just hardly in the movie. I don't know if this would have been different if Hugh Keays-Byrne were still alive. I don't know if there was pressure from the studio to cast an A-list male lead actor alongside Anya Taylor-Joy (who's a hot commodity now but wasn't what I would call an A-lister when she was originally cast). I don't know if, once Chris Hemsworth was cast, that affected how central his character's role became, since he is certainly the biggest name attached to the film. I would have actually been fine with Chris Hemsworth or another actor of his ilk playing a younger Joe, and us getting to see some of the charisma that attracted followers to him.

But the end result is that we have Dementus, who is a perfectly fine Mad Max villain, and quite entertaining at times! But not the most compelling antagonist you could give Furiosa.

The four Mad Max movies that feature Max go through an interesting evolution. In the first two movies, the villains are people "outside" society--criminals and roving gangs--and the people Max is defending are "civilization." So we have Mad Max where Max is a very fucked-up cop, and Road Warrior where Max is the prototypical western gunslinger, riding in to town to protect the settlement from an outside threat, but ultimately unable to accept any of the comforts of civilization for himself.

Then in Thunderdome and Fury Road, the dynamic switches. Now the antagonists are warlords and dictators. They are civilization. And the people Max ends up helping are trying to escape them.

To me, Dementus feels much more like the earlier kind of Mad Max villain. If there's another Mad Max movie I can most compare FMMS to, it's the first one. Dementus is Furiosa's Toecutter. (Kills her family, gives her her signature disabling injury, movie ends with her seeking revenge on him but it doesn't feel heroic or triumphant.) The whole end of FMMS when Furiosa is implacably hunting down Dementus? Extremely Mad Max 1.

But violent revenge holds a different symbolic place in Furiosa's story than it does in Max's. The end of Mad Max is a tragedy because Max tells us it is. He explicitly states, early in the movie, that he needs to stop being a cop or he'll become no different than the violent criminals he's pursuing. So he leaves his job and goes on an extended weird vacation with his wife and child, trying to get away from the violence of a collapsing society. But that violence finds him anyway, and by the end of the movie, Max has become the exact thing he said he didn't want to be. It's a tragedy not because the people Max kills in revenge for killing his family don't deserve it, but because seeking violent sadistic revenge is damaging to Max. That is not what he needs in order to heal from the loss of his wife and child. What he needs is to take the risk of human connection again. This is what he starts groping toward in the following two movies and fully realizes in Fury Road.

But Furiosa doesn't have the same arc. Her story in Fury Road is about how a few people struggling against their oppressor can be the catalyst that brings down a whole regime. Furiosa getting to rip Joe's face off is fucking satisfying, and it's supposed to be! So it's a bit weird, then, to spend an entire movie giving her a backstory that not only is not about Joe at all, but implies that seeking and getting revenge against Dementus for killing her mother and Jack is what made her into the person we see in Fury Road.

Aside from questions of revenge, what I thought Furiosa's goal was going to be is set up in the beginning of the movie. "No matter what happens, find your way home." Very clear objective there. And then we see her try to get home like, 1.5 times. I thought we were well set up to follow the tried and true film story format of "simple goal, big obstacles, high stakes." I wanted to see her trying over and over again to get home, and being thwarted in different ways every time. I wanted to see grief and guilt over her mother's death turn her mother's last command into a mission for which she would sacrifice anything (and anyone) else. I wanted to see her justify working for Joe and accumulating power in the violent world of the Citadel as what she has to do in order to get home. I wanted to see "Have you done this before?" "Many times." But we didn't really get that either.

Ultimately, I think the least frustrating way to think about the film--which the film itself encourages--is as one of many possible Wasteland legends about a character called Furiosa. Maybe it happened this way. Maybe it didn't. Maybe this is the Furiosa we see in Fury Road. Maybe it isn't. It all depends on how much you believe of the History Man's tales.

[internetegoist]

Of Shidou Ryusei ; And how his character connects towards sexual trauma

(Content warning: Major mentions of SA/CSA and abuse, minor mentions for NSFW behaviour. Most of them aren't in graphic detail, but please please be wary of it 🙏 There's also spoilers for CSM and A Clockwork Orange)

Shidou's character is one of those that sticks with you throughout the entire series. It feels like we know everything about him, yet there's something so mysterious about his behaviour that makes you wonder, what's with this guy? We know how he acts, his violence and vulgarity injected in his brain and blood, but yet we don't know why he acts the way he is. It is very heavily implied that he went through a sort of restriction, born in a bird cage which he freed himself from through going to Blue Lock, but what is that restriction? What was the bird cage which trapped him? What was it that was holding him back from searching for freedom and exploring the world?

Since then, there's been a large speculation of theories on what his backstory could be. But one of them I want to talk about is about how his backstory is connected to SA, and how he could have experienced it at a young age. At first, I was extremelyyy hesitant to follow it due to how it made me a bit uncomfortable to discuss about, and how I saw a majority of people supporting the theory use it for shock value rather than a chance to devolve into darker topics. Of course, not the case for everyone who supports the theory, just from my own personal experience in the fandom.

But now, I can see the extremely, deeply discomforting vision on how this could be true in a way. From both his favourite manga and movie involving SA as an integral part in the story, to the concerning side of him being slightly revealed in the Egoist Bible. (Eg. crying at the end of the day, when he's feeling nothing or when he's empty, as well as his dislike of gifts)

Due to my heavy interests, I wanted to explore this theory into a more deeper matter. I decided to analyze more of his behaviour, as well as doing some of my own research. I must say, Shidou's behavioral manner can be one that is similar to those of SA survivors, especially male survivors.

Okay okay, enough yapping around. Let me get straight to the point.

Shidou and his instinct's responses

Generally after experiencing sexual abuse, one's entire personality will change. Every behaviour change is different for every sexual abuse survivor. Sometimes they'll isolate themselves more often, sometimes they turn into a much aggressive and violent person. Because the world has failed them, the world is putting them in a place where they are no longer safe and are more vulnerable. Because when your entire sense of self and personal power is taken away by your abuser, you are left with nothing but fear and new survival instincts. Why I bring this up is because Shidou's entire personality is built on instincts. His instant response to even the slightest hint of dislike or threat is to immediately beat them up, no matter who they are. A noteworthy thing to mention is that one of the main responses from males following sexual trauma is anger, because it is more socially acceptable for men to react that way. Attacking someone is the best way of defense, and Shidou follows this way of defense entirely. This also follows up with the stigma with the male ethic of self-reliance, in which help-seeking behaviours can be seen as cowardly or unmasculine.

It's most likely the reason why he also dislikes Kunigami's philosophy of heroes; Considering the fact his entire character is based on wanting to be free from restriction, he must have lived in an environment and/or went through a sort of restriction which influenced his ideals of "I can fend myself, I won't need anyone". The world he has grown up in was nothing but survival against the abuse he went through, so for what purpose should he believe in the principle of a savior, if he himself could have never been saved? It doesn't help either when in real time, there have been many cases where survivors of sexual abuse are either never believed when they speak out about it, or never speak out at all in fear of not being believed.

And besides the fact he uses violence as a defense method, one thing I noticed about Shidou is that during the time he was locked up by Ego for inducing violence onto Rin. We see him, perhaps for the first time, being calm and offering a promise that he'll make sure to stop fighting and hitting others, as long as he is let out of that prison he's trapped in. You see, a common reaction victims will use during the process of the SA is to freeze. To stay silent and still. It's like how animals freeze to avoid fights or further harm to themselves, or play dead in order to prevent getting eaten by predators. Although the outer self may seem to be in a calm state, the inside are on high alert, because they are afraid on what will be their abuser's next moves. The option to fight or run away may seem easy to those who haven't experienced SA, but to the victim it may seem harder than you think. Because freezing is a body's instinct response to abuse, and it'll stay frozen until the abuse is over, it's almost like a human's way of playing dead, so that the assault induced will end sooner. Among the instincts of 'fight, flight, freeze', Shidou seems to use fight the most out of the three. However, when necessary times come necessary measures, Shidou, perhaps for the first time, switches to 'freeze' instead of 'fight'. Not only because he basically, cannot physically fight anyone at that moment, but also because he is afraid. Afraid of being restricted yet again, afraid of not having the chance to live his life, which is to play football. The worst position to be in when you're being hurt or abused is limitation. You can't move, you can't fight, you can't run away from your abuse from happening. Nothing but hope that the abuse happening to you will end soon, that your abuser will stop hurting you. That's exactly what is so terrifying about the freeze responses.

Shidou and his sexual behaviour

If any fan knows anything about Shidou, it's that he's not afraid to speak out what's on his mind, especially lewd and inappropriate words. More or less, this can be connecting to something called hypersexuality. Accordingly, hypersexuality is defined as an intense focus on sexual fantasies, urges and behaviours that can't be controlled. Hypersexuality can not only cause distress, but also problems in school and workplace.

Survivors of sexual abuse cope in one of the two ways: Either by avoiding sexual or intimidate interactions entirely, or seeking said interactions on a large and unhealthy scale. According to this article, a majority of men who suffer from hypersexuality or sex addiction have been either physically or sexually abused in their childhood.

We see Shidou quite literally compare scoring a goal in football, to sexual intercourse. (And also the part where he says he's gonna blow his load, with Sae also dismissing it, but it's just partners supporting each other!)

By now, we know that two things that Shidou is unable to separate from each other is life and football. Both the act of life and the act of playing football is interconnected. Because football is something that allows him to leave a mark, allows him to be known by the world. Because football is a biological phenomenon to him, rather than just a sport.

And yes sure, this is supposed to be a connection to his philosophy of leaving a mark on others, so that you can be remembered. But also remember what he says in his monologue: "Those who create something, those who want to become something, and of course, those who make children." The way humans create life is through intimacy, through intercourse. The two people engaging leave a mark on each other through creating that life, that child.

And while speaking about his monologue of leaving a mark, Shidou also mentions that wounding others are a way of leaving behind a proof of existence. Inducing abuse whether it'd be physical, emotional or sexual, can also be one of the ways to make someone remember you.

The abuser leaves the mark on the victim, the mentioned mark left on them can be seen as PTSD or trauma symptoms.

Abuse is not something you can just simply turn away, forget or overlook. Whether the effects of trauma are short-term or long-term, they are there, they are a proof of existence that it happened. Shidou's inability to separate the physical act of football and the biological act of life's desires, especially sexual desires, can be seen as hypersexuality. Hypersexuality can also be seen as a mark left onto the victim. And it's extremely lengthy to recover and remove those marks left on you.

Of Freedom and Shidou Ryusei

I think Shidou Ryusei and his obsession with freedom is something so interesting about his character, yet so many people tend to ignore it as a significant part of him. Because imagine if one day out of the blue, your entire bodily autonomy gets taken away from you, you're trapped in a cycle of repetitive abuse onto you. When it's finally over and you have control over everything again, the world suddenly feels so utterly different. So what do you do? Of course, cling onto that freedom that is now yours.

Bite any other hand that may seem like it's trying to take it away, because if there is one thing you do not ever want to repeat, it is someone isolating you once more against the world. So hold on tightly to the freedom you now have, and make sure it stays with you for eternity.

All of Shidou's favourite things, his favourite film, manga and song, are also connected to this in a way.

It would take too long for me to get into detail about both Chainsaw Man and A Clockwork Orange, but I want to say that both media and their protagonists have approaches to freedom of life and choice.

In Chainsaw Man, Denji is a child that has been depraved of even the basic of human needs; Just like Shidou, he wants to claim everything in his current life and not return to when he had nothing when he was a child. In A Clockwork Orange, Alexander who in the beginning of the movie has been committing heinous crimes with no one to stop him, is captured and put through inhumane experiments in order to rehabilitate him. His entire freedom is taken away from him and for the next hour, we see him go through immense suffering and torture by those who he had wronged to the point he attempts to commit suicide through jumping off a window. In the end, it doesn't seem like his mindset has changed at all. It makes us question whether or not letting someone be free to do anything they want is the better option even if it hurts others, rather than attempt to isolate them in order to transform them into a better human being.

I would like to talk a little about his favourite artist. For a bit of context, hide is popular for being an icon of rebellion against Japan's conformist society, and one of his songs PINK SPIDER, is listed as Shidou's favourite song according to the official Blue Lock Egoist Bible. I've seen a lot of interpretations of what the song truly means, but the main story is that it's about a spider trapped within and kills anything near it. Because it wishes to free itself away, it steals a butterfly's wings. It attempts to fly, and fails, and tries again. Whether or not the spider did actually succeeded in flying away is unknown to us. But, that's not all!

Around the chapter where Shidou scores a goal, the commenter calls it a 'rocket diving header'. This can lead to one of hide's other songs in the same album as PINK SPIDER, rocket dive; a song with the similar approach of freedom but with different tones. Compared to PINK SPIDER, rocket dive has a more cheerful approach. In the end of the song, the star mentioned in rocket dive successfully flies away and appears as a new shooting star in the sky.

Which brings me to point out something: Shidou Ryusei's birthday is on Tanabata, a type of Japanese celebration called the Star Festival which is celebrated on the seventh day of the seventh month.

His name, Ryusei, is also a homophone for shooting star in Japanese.

Shidou, born as a star on the day where two lover stars meet, yet when he was born, he was not allowed to fly and join the others in the sky.

But he overcame everything, achieved that dream of having the freedom to do whatever he wants. And even though he went through all that pain, all that abuse, and most likely had to learn how to escape by himself through football before Blue Lock, he made it come true, like a spell.

And eventually, he learnt how to fly, and let the world knew who he was.

[koolades-world]

One bed troupe w/ Levi

It was safe to day Levi almost never got out of the house. Between online school and all the the time he spent on the internet, he had no need to leave his room. Key word: almost. Sometimes, not often, but sometimes, he went out into the real world for events related to the things he enjoys, such as concerts, fan meetups, and most importantly, conventions.

Levi had been going to conventions longer than you even knew they existed, so it was safe to say he was an expert. But, now that you were around, and also interested in most of the same things as he was, he just had to take you along. That meaning, he nervously asked you on his knees the first time and after you agreed, he never asked again and just assumed you were going. Every convention with him is interesting, but always followed a formula.

You hear about the convention somehow, usually from Levi, where he's asking what cosplay you should go as this time. Sometimes you coordinate, sometimes you don't, but Levi loves to match. When he asks this, he's probably already book you your room. At first, he got you each your own room, but once after he accidently booked one room with two beds, you just started doing that instead. You leave a day before the convention begins with travel time factored in, spend however long there, then return home a day after the convention ends.

This formula is tried, true, and dear to Levi. It's something he can rely on to have the maximum amount of fun with his favorite person. This convention was supposed to be just like any other. The both of you were reusing an older cosplay, just because you had been busy that week. As you toted your bags into the hotel lobby, Levi almost directly in front of you, you asked him to pause. When he froze, and asked why, you carefully picked the Devildom equivalent of a ladybug. He was a little freaked out at first, but after studying the small bug you pulled out of his hair, he got a laugh out of it.

"They're good luck you know, especially if they land on you." You teased him, watching it fly off. Levi didn't respond, feeling a wave of anxiety crash over him. He wasn't sure why. He attributed it to having to deal with checking in, which he hated. But, he would never make you do that, since it was always him who insisted on bringing you along.

While he got you two checked in, you wandered off to the seating area to admire a sculpture. In your absence, something that only happens in his worst nightmares happened. Despite having made a reservation, the system wasn’t showing anything and they had no record at all. He briefly freaked out as he flickered through his camera roll, trying to find the receipt among his many photos of memes and characters fanart. Once he found it, he showed the worker. After seeing this, she did something on her computer and offered him a room upgrade. Before hearing the details, he accepted it. This was all too much for him.

Having acquired the room key, he collected you. The setting sun lit up the room, backlighting you and the sculpture. You simply stared up at it. He almost didn’t want to interrupt you. You noticed him somehow, and spun around to space him, making eye contact with a smile. His heart almost skipped a beat with the way you looked at him.

“Our room ready?” You pulled your suitcase behind you, noticing the keycard in his hand.

“Mmhm.” He didn’t trust himself to speak, and silently led you towards the elevators. He was told they had been given a room on floor 19, which was the second highest. Mc would probably die for that view. The thought of making them happy made him happy.

They two of got on the elevator. Mc made funny face at Levi through the mirrored elevator. After you walked the floor enough, following signage, you found your room. He unlocked it, and swung the door open to a beautiful suite. It came complete with a living room, and kitchenette, and a bathroom that rivaled Asmo’s. Mc dropped their bag by the door, and immediately begins to explore.

“Levi! You didn’t tell me you got a nicer room this time!” You threw your body down onto the sofa, admiring the tv. “This is great.” You peaked over the back of the sofa at him.

“Oh, I actually meant to tell you… There was a mixup of some kind so they upgraded us.” He scratched the back of his neck and closed the door behind him. His soul nearly left his body when he looked further into the room.

There was only one bed.

“Oh no, oh no no no.” He began to freak out for the second time that day.

“What’s the matter?” You got up immediately. You watched where his gaze was fixed. “Oh, Levi. I can sleep on the couch.” You looked at him empathetically, understanding his predicament.

“No! I mean, I can’t let my player two sleep on that sofa when that bed is right there. It’s much nicer than my bathtub. You deserve it. I’m just a loser otaku, but you’re the human who brought my family back together.” He took a small step back.

“Don’t he ridiculous. There’s room for both of us. If it helps, we can just sleep facing opposite ways. Besides, you know Mammon would kill to be in this room with me right now, sharing a bed with me. You could totally use this chance to brag, Levichan.” You giggled, skipping your way into the bathroom. “I’m getting ready for bed. Be out shortly.” You took your toiletries bag into giant bathroom. Levi pondered for an amount of time he wasn’t sure of, but was jolted out of thought by a knocking on the bathroom wall. Turns out, the shower had a window in it that faced the bed. You were doing a little dance in front of it with just a towel on, poking fun at him. After he covered his eyes and screamed at you to stop, you shut the window curtain so you could actually shower.

Once you were done, he had already unpacked all his things and took his own turn. The bathroom was very luxurious, but he couldn’t stop thinking about Mc and how he was going to be brave and share that bed with them. It was just to rub it in Mammon’s face, he told himself.

When he got out, you were spread out in the bed with a few snacks from your bag and his Devilswitch. “Up for a few rounds before bed, big guy?” He couldn’t say no to you. In his scramble to win every game you two played, and haze of the long day of traveling, he totally forgot about behind nervous. It only crept back in once you’d fallen asleep on his arm, remote still in hand. He froze, unsure what to do.

But, he knew he had to act because with the long day you two had tomorrow, he had to get to bed as well. As he moved to get up to clear the bed of everything on it, you grumbled and grabbed his arm. He began to internally scream, and almost externally too. He was sure he was very red. So, instead, he just moved everything onto his bedside table, and pulled the covers over both of you.

He was stiff under the covers at first, but the more you snuggled into him, the more relaxed he found himself getting. Maybe it was because he was getting more sleepy by the passing seconds, but he almost found himself enjoying the affection. He bid sleeping you goodnight.

Maybe this is what his good luck ladybug meant.

[zoeyuniverse]

🎀 Grumpy¹ 🎀

Category : Paige bueckers × OC (Susan)

Summary : Kate Martin's little sister is coming to the Uconn campus!

- Masterlist

- Part 1 ⬇️ // Part 2

- "What exactly are you doing?" 

Nika asks with a doubtful look on her face as she analyzes her teammates' actions in the middle of the living room.

- "Are we hanging colorful welcome wreaths?" replies KK, who is sitting on Paige's shoulders.

- "This is a small welcome party, not a five-year-old's birthday party," the brunette exclaims.

Just as the two young women stare at her, not really knowing what to say, like two children caught in the sack, the doorbell of the Uconn senior dormitory rings.

-"Saved by the bell" says KK.

As they went about their business, Nika made her way to the front door. When she opened it, she found herself face to face with Kate, her long blonde hair, flushed cheeks and smile stretching to her ears.

- "Hi Kate, long time no see!"

They exchanged a lively hug before entering the dormitory to greet the rest of the team.

- "So how are things going on the Iwoa?"

- "Very well, we're getting ready to beat you!" Kate starts amused.

- "In your dreams Martin, in your dreams..." Paige retorts.

KK steps forward and a mock fight begins on the living room carpet.

The girls don't get together often, if at all. They're usually at odds, but the love of basketball brings them together and they enjoy spending time together whenever their schedules allow.

This time, it's the arrival of new students on the UConn campus that brings them together. One of them happens to be Kate's sister: Susan Martin.

Quite the opposite of her sister, in fact. Dark-haired, of average height, and with a character far less docile than that of the tall blonde.

Neither Susan nor her classmates have any plans to attend Uconn. They're interested in a completely different sport: tennis. And that's why they attend the nearby university. Only... their dormitory had some architectural problems, and it was becoming too dangerous to live there. To be on the safe side, their principal made an arrangement for the girls to stay on the nearest campus until the work was completed.

******

Finally, Caitlin Clark joined the small group in the living room.

- "C beer?" asks Kate.

Her friend nods and she throws her a can.

- "Give me one too," Paige shouts.

- "No more, sorry "

Paige pouted, which seemed to amuse Kate, who burst out laughing.

UConn's blonde got up to go to the kitchen, looking for something to quench her thirst, but she came across a girl she didn't know sipping her drink. Intrigued, she leaned against the doorframe and watched. The petite brunette finished her drink in one gulp and wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her jacket.

- "Nice run.

-" I was thirsty," the brunette replied.

- "That's my drink," the blonde smiled.

- "Sorry..." she inspected the glass until she found the owner's name, "Paige" she smiled back.

- "Are you some kind of fan?"

- "Fan of who?"

- "Me" Paige replied with a grin.

- "No thanks."

- "You're Kate's sister?"

- "Yeah... did she tell you about me?"

- "No, but you have the same smile."

Paige's eyes swept over the girl as if analyzing her. She wore a white blouse, jeans and her hair was pulled back with a clip. But one detail caught her eye: on her right leg, the jeans seemed to float, as if that leg was thinner than the other.

- "Hey, what are you looking at?" The younger of the two finally snaps, feeling uncomfortable.

- "Is everything okay in here?" Caitlin asks as she enters the kitchen with KK.

- "Yeah, come on Caity, let's go check on the others."

Susan grabs Caitlin's arm and pulls her into the living room where she joins her sister. Then she met the others.

- "Well?" KK smiled and looked at Paige.

- "Not my style, but whatever."

- "I never understood what you saw in those shallow girls..."

Paige rolled her eyes, obviously offended. She returned to the others and started talking to Azzy, who was sitting on the sofa.

Meanwhile, Susan, Nika and Olivia, another student who had joined the dorm for a while, pretended to sing Justin Bieber's "Boyfriend". This amused the others, who decided to film them.

Everyone laughed heartily, but the noise and the crowd soon tired Susan, and she decided to slip away again.

To relax, Nika suggested they take a walk around campus. Kate and Paige accompany her.

Kate walks in front with Nika, talking about her sister and insisting on keeping an eye on her.

But Susan and Paige can't hear their conversation.

- "Are you hurt?" The blonde asks, trying to strike up a conversation.

- "You're curious" Susan replies curtly.

- "Okay Grumpy, I was just making conversation."

- "Hm, I don't like to talk."

- "Excuse us, Sasuke."

- "Keep your lame nicknames to yourself."

Paige giggles. She couldn't take the annoyance of the girl next to her seriously.

Besides, she had no particular reason to be offended by his nonchalance.

- "How can you be so small and being Martin's sister?"

- "Shut up..." she bellows

The brunette then reached into her bag and pulled out a small camera, turning it on and pointing it at Paige.

- "Hey, hi paparazzi, what angle do you want to take?"

To ease the tension, the blonde decided not to ask any questions and let herself be photographed. She had fun striking ridiculous poses, pretending to sign autographs, and blowing kisses to imaginary fans.

It seemed to work as the Martin sister finally let out a smile.

- "Okay Grumpy, that was fun, what are you going to do with that now?"

- "Nothing, it's my way of communicating, isn't that what you wanted?"

- "You're not going to put me in some weird psycho album, are you?"

The term psychopath seemed to affect the younger girl, who poutted before accelerating to join Nika and her sister.

They walked for a while, Susan taking pictures of Kate and Nika, then returned to join the others.

The evening slowly begins to draw to a close as KK limply waves goodbye to the group on the way up to her room.

Nika and Ice, meanwhile, help Kate unfold the sofa and set it up so that she, her sister and Caitlin can spend the night there before heading back to IOWA.

- "You can call us anytime," insists Caitlin.

- "I can take care of myself, I'm 19 you know" replies Susan.

They smile stupidly at each other for a moment, before hugging.

- "Are you two dating?" Paige asks, standing right next to her.

- "Mind your own business bueckers" Caitlin spat when Susan pulled away from her to join her sister.

In the end, the three slept glued-together, as if their lives depended on it, and the next day, Caitlin and Kate flew home to resume classes.

⬇️Help palestine ⬇️

[froggieco]

Some controversial thoughts about the Peachyville Horror

I've been seeing how everyone is reacting to Francis's moment in the bathroom in this latest episode (episode 7) and I thought I might as well add one more.

Francis is someone who is mentally unstable, yes. I think this is something we can all agree with. He's surrounded by people who seem to either enable his actions in one way or another or they're on a list of people he keeps which we can only assume is something like a hit list. He's been looked down on by his parents, bullied by his peers, and generally just beat down by everyone around him including himself at this point. Then he won that trophy. That's where everything shifts. He's the one to take it home and it's obvious that by how Will was describing that trophy, something about it had negative energy.

⚠️Now I get into some gory details in this next part so fair warning ⚠️

Now, Francis had his dream and suddenly became violent to an extent that he would joke about it and people would feel threatened. Relistening to episode 5, he threatened a man after scooping his eyes out with an ice cream scoop by kicking him in the balls and then grabbing his eyeballs and threatening to squeeze them. Now, I get it this is a horror comedy podcast but if we are gonna analyze a character I'm taking everything into account and really this is the first and really an extremely violent thing for a person to do, especially when this is the first actions he's been known to take.

Getting the gun and instantly he seemed to know exactly what he "needed" to do. On a dime, the Francis we knew just a few episodes ago was already so different.

Now that brings us to the bathroom scene. People have been saying it was a mental "snap" or "break" which doesn't line up, like how most others have pointed out that this was something that was premeditated. He planned out this whole thing and followed through with it. And to those who think he did this so Shane wouldn't bother him anymore, he didn't see Francis at all through the whole attack, which yes, Francis could go back and claim he did it but I still this it's important to note we don't know if Shane will believe him.

That being said, with every increasingly violent act that Francis had done up to that point it made sense within the confines of his world. It was in his character that things have played out this way so far. And really I think it's going to make for a really interesting character arc. He isn't going to to be a character that we have seen before, which when we just had a season of teens that were just coming into themselves Anthony is getting his chance to get his character in, and it is a horror series. This doesn't make any of the actions acceptable by any means and this should not encourage people to romanticize any of the actions he does. There is a way to like a character and not romanticize their actions, some of these posts remind me of posts of people romanticizing real murderers and shooters, which is rather disturbing.

TLDR

Francis suddenly got violent after bringing the trophy home, having a dream after being under his teacher's bed for 4 hours, and now he's suddenly he's on a bloody rampage and those around him are either enablers or in his line of fire and that's an interesting new character to think about. But don't romanticize that shit.

Extra

• Another idea I saw floating around was that Francis got switched with his reflection in the trophy, which I love the idea of this one. It can keep the idea of mental health slightly but it brings the story back into it. But, I understand that even without evil trophies, people like Francis exist in our world.

• Also having him practice with his bully's face as the target was really the warning. I personally didn't know the scene was going to be that graphic but now looking back I get the horror side of the podcast now. As someone who lives in America it was something that shocked me the first time listening to it, knowing that the usual stuff that the guys bring up I can laugh off. This scene most definitely felt different and I'm sure that it's going to be a huge turning point for a lot of things.

[novlr]

Do you have any tips on how to improve on character beats, verbal cues and overall dialog descriptions? I struggle a LOT with those! Much appreciated!

One of the most overlooked ways to write interesting characters is through dialogue!

1. Start with the basics

Before you can write convincing dialogue, you need to thoroughly know your characters – their personality, backstories, motivations, and quirks.

Start with in-depth character development. Delve into their past, their relationships, the significant events that shaped them, and the dreams or fears that drive their actions. Your understanding of who your character fundamentally is will naturally guide their conversation style, topics they would discuss, and how they would react in dialogue, bringing authenticity to their interactions.

2. Know your character beats

Character beats form the backbone of a character’s development, marking transformative events, consequential actions, and insightful choices. Once you’ve developed your character’s personality, plot the key milestones that challenge and change them.

These milestones reveal how they react to their environment and to other characters, demonstrating their growth and change. Character beats are not merely plot developments; they encapsulate the internal evolution of your characters, paving the way for an authentic and compelling character voice.

3. Use verbal cues

Verbal cues serve as subtle indicators of a character’s underlying emotions and intentions, enhancing readers’ understanding of the character’s internal world. Voice modulation—from a soft whisper to a booming shout—can depict varying moods.

Unique speech patterns, like a nervous stutter or specialized jargon, differentiate characters and reveal aspects of their personality or background. Even the silence between words can be telling, with pauses and lapses in conversation often speaking volumes about a character’s emotional state.

Examples of verbal cues

Volume modulation: A character speaking softly when feeling vulnerable or shouting in anger.

Speed of speech: Fast-paced speech could indicate excitement or nervousness, while slow speech may show calmness or thoughtfulness.

Use of pauses: Strategic silence or pauses can suggest hesitation, contemplation, or underlying tension.

Stuttering: A character might stutter due to a speech disorder, nervousness, or anxiety.

Laughter: This can vary from sarcastic chuckles to uncontrollable laughter, indicating a range of emotions.

Specialized jargon: The use of profession-specific terms can give clues about a character’s background, knowledge, or occupation, just as colloquialism and local jargon can give examples of a character’s location, social status, background, and upbringing.

Choice of words: A character’s diction can reveal their education level, their cultural background, and their personality. Intentional choice can also indicate aspiration, an attempt to change, or an intentional misdirection.

Repetition: Repeating certain words or phrases could indicate a character’s preoccupation or fixation, or simply be a character quirk, like a catchphrase.

Tone: A sarcastic, cheery, or monotone voice can cue readers about a character’s current emotions.

4. Dialogue descriptions

The way you describe dialogue can significantly impact the reader’s perception of a character. Using descriptive adjectives in dialogue, like “he grumbled” versus “he exclaimed,” can drastically change the tone. Also, pay attention to sensory details – the sound, tone, pitch, and pace of a character’s voice can enhance reader understanding. Physical reactions and body language, like facial expressions, gestures, and posture, during the conversation further enrich the description, making the dialogue more engaging and revealing. Good dialogue varies description with dialogue tags, so mix and match the simple with the descriptive, and you’ll find a good rhythm.

See also: A Beginner’s Guide to Dialogue Tags and Vary Your Language With Synonyms To Use Instead Of “Said”

[general-cyno]

y'know, one zolu moment I don't talk about nearly as much as I should but that I love and find super interesting is the bar fight on jaya. and though I know there's mixed opinions on the latter, I also like the contrast between jaya AND whiskey peak.

when it comes to whiskey peak... I'm somewhere in the middle. as a concept I find it interesting too, since it involves zoro doing things on his own for the sake of the crew for the first time (iirc) and luffy being faced with the possibility of zoro not acting as honorably as he believes or trusts zoro to be at that point. thing is, luffy is someone who places great value in the kindness he receives and returns it tenfold. it's something we see throughout the story and in jaya as well actually, with cricket and his crew! this is also what's attracted him to most of the straw hats (if not every) and his allies also. so in theory, I don't think luffy reacting negatively to zoro attacking the ppl who'd been kind to him and the crew for seemingly no reason is entirely out of character, especially after waking up so disorientedly, and at least not that early on in the manga. he emphasizes it too, when he shows up to fight zoro,

the problem for me lies more on the actual execution of it rather than the idea as a whole. kinda goofy for luffy and zoro to drop lines like "now we'll find out who's superior" during it as if they'd had some sort of fighting style rivalry beforehand and it's kinda removed from the og point of the fight but they're dumb kids and the story can take some goofy turns at times so. shrugs.

I can't tell if whiskey peak was originally meant to have an impact or effect on their relationship afterwards (some opinions I've read insist oda was forced to include it) but if anything, it ended up demonstrating zoro and luffy are better off fighting together than against each other, even as they're going on about killing and beating the other up over a misunderstanding. it reminds me of one comment I read on a r/ddit post a while ago (about another topic though) that pointed out how in terms of fighting styles, zoro and luffy kind of complement and make up for each other's weaknesses, which is such a nice detail and layer to their relationship imo.

and assuming there was a genuine point to it all (it's more fun that way heh), I'd say that it really highlights the importance of moments like those in jaya and luffy choosing to trust zoro not to fight back against bellamy's crew.

as luffy has learned this far, zoro would never hurt anyone for no reason and if there's a "reason" it's usually, if not always, rooted in his wish and duty to keep everyone safe (in whiskey peak, the townsfolk were actually baroque works agents, bounty hunters, who had a tendency to trick pirates like them at the start of the grand line). plus, zoro may enjoy battle but he doesn't fight for revenge or feelings/motives of the sort, as he admits later in skypiea. he does, however, react when the people he cares about are in danger (*waves hand and points at anything involving luffy*), hurt (chopper in skypiea as an example, but there's plenty more) or he witnesses great injustice (like yasuie's execution in wano). he's also not the type to enjoy beating up someone weaker, much less for shits and giggles. he will even save enemies if luffy asks him to, as long as it doesn't pose a bigger or immediate (real) threat to the crew.

compare zoro saving smoker in alabasta vs him refusing to accept x drake as an ally at first due to his known status as a traitor in the wano arc, for example.

and of course jaya isn't an exception. when bellamy attacks luffy, zoro responds as usual:

luffy himself stands up ready to fight too, at first. but as nami brings up the sky island and everyone mocks them for it, then bellamy specifically takes it upon himself to ridicule them - insisting on how foolish it is for ppl to "waste time" chasing their dreams, especially pirates, luffy decides not to fight back and tells zoro to do the same.

this is one of those instances in which the "lu" of zolu really shines through, if you ask me. zoro's got a handful of grand gestures toward luffy on his belt, but this is one in which luffy does the heavy lifting for me. this is acknowledgedment and an insane amount of trust, a moment in which luffy's relying on zoro to understand his motives and to push back his usual protectiveness when faced with an enemy displaying a lot of hostility. and zoro gets it, stays true to the trust luffy's placing on him. he doesn't fight back, not even as nami watches and wonders why.

I sound like a broken record at this point, but OP's brought up in several and different circumstances the fact that luffy and zoro are actually pretty similar. they tend to behave the same way or echo each other's words even when they're apart, share similar views on death, on growing stronger for the sake of the ppl they care about, and more so when it comes to chasing and fighting for their dreams.

in the aftermath of the bar encounter, blackbeard tells nami that luffy and zoro actually won that fight. this includes a curious panel in which luffy reminisces both shanks and ace.

it makes sense why luffy shared this particular moment with zoro, when you think about it. those two are dreamers through and through, and if there's characters who can understand the importance of not only chasing those dreams but also keeping a promise, it's them - whose dreams they initially shared with ppl they cherished as kids and made promises to. for luffy there's ace and sabo, and shanks. for zoro it was kuina, then as an adult there was luffy himself. in a lot of ways, the straw hat is to luffy what wado ichimonji is to zoro. during that fight, bellamy represented everything luffy and zoro stand against both as characters and thematically speaking. and that, along with everything luffy's learned/come to know so far about zoro, is what he relied on. it's so good.

later, there's this scene with zoro and the rest, where nami wonders why zoro didn't go with luffy to face bellamy again:

(fun bit here is that zoro actually asked luffy before if he needed his help. it's a small panel but cute! he trusts that luffy can handle himself, as luffy told him he could, and knows there's no stopping him when he's made up his mind lol.)

whether zoro was referring to bellamy's strength or his lack of belief in/mockery of dreams, or both, it's clear he understood why luffy chose to do what he did and asked him to stay put back in the bar, and he could relate to luffy's motives as well. as I mentioned above, it makes sense why zoro in specific would, without luffy voicing them out loud.

the nicest part is how all of these moments are a product of the writing that's gone into luffy and zoro's relationship/dynamic. when luffy chooses to trust zoro with stuff like this, there's a chunk of context that precedes it (like whiskey peak). and when zoro decides to follow him, too, it's because his loyalty for and understanding of luffy has been continually built as the story progresses which is super compelling, and also wonderful to see.

[thoughtfulchaos773]

Syd & Carmy- Romantic Beats

Preface:

Studying this I see the second season uses steps 3-7 since we had our chemical equation and met cute the 1st season. You'll see gif examples 3-7 that show the beats of the season two.

Billy Mernit defines the “seven basic romantic comedy beats” in his book  Writing the Romantic Comedy. I'm observing that writing a romcom for a TV series is like a rollercoaster for beats, taking curves and dips that keep the series at a pace where the viewer is guessing. So beats repeat themselves and set themselves up for the next season.

The romantic beats are described as--

1. The Chemical Equation - The setup, there's something wrong in the protagonist's life. There's a missing piece in the main character's story. This is where we identify the protagonist's external and/or internal conflict.

2. The meet cute or catalyst - The incident that brings them together - and this should relate to the theme of the story. This meeting sets the tone for their relationship.

When the secondary lead is introduced- there should be some hints that this romantic interest is the missing piece of the Protagonist's chemical equation.

The Bear: I'd also add that with romantic comedies, the meet-cute should have some humor in it. (What’s UPS, is that in Chicago, or?) . As we talk on this platform- the meet cute was the proper example of a romcom.

3. The Sexy Complication -This is the first proper clash between the heroine and the hero. Higher stakes define the main character's goals. Typically, the external problem keeps them apart, or you can use internal conflict that keeps them apart. Traditionally occurring at the end of Act 1, a new development that raises story stakes and clearly defines the protagonist’s goal.

Season One episode Three: Syd is officially the sous chef and has a hard time with the staff. She comes in with the intention of changing The Beef for the better, however, Carmy is stuck in his old ways and past toxic experiences in the kitchen.

Season two episode three: The first clash starts 2x03 Sundae, after their technical meet cute- 2x02 pasta showing new closeness for season 2, however After 2x03 Sundae we see repeats of the sexy complication- since Syd and Carmy's relationship is the plot of the show- the stakes rise as the pressure to open The Bear is approaching and Claire comes into the picture- causing a bigger complication between Syd & Carmy.

4. The Hook. The midpoint scene sticks the two characters together. There's no way out, and this should reflect the theme of the movie.

This hints at the outcome of the relationship and gives hints of the potential between the two characters. There can be sexual tension involved or a detailed moment that shows the two characters are becoming closer.

Season one episodes Three and Five: Syd and Carmy reach an understanding and episodes three and five show vulnerability as Carmy reveals his brother was an addict and Syd shares the failure of Sheridan Road catering.

Season Two Episode Nine: After complications, Syd and Carmy reach a moment of understanding. This is the most romantically suggestive scene with prominent sexual tension.

5. The swivel - This is the moment after the hero and heroine have become closer, when their conflict comes back again, in a different form.  a turning point that makes the stakes higher and hurts the main character's goal, or vice versa, leading to a changed goal. The main character is forced to choose between love and the goal.

Season one and two: in both seasons Carmy loses his cool with Sydney. The first season she walks away and the season two Syd calms Carmy down.

What's interesting is that the song Spiders (kidsmoke) by Wilco plays in both scenes giving us hints of parallels.

6. Dark Moment – This is the consequence of the swivel. The characters have to reveal private motivations, and it seems that either the love or the goal is lost forever. The main character is at their most vulnerable point.

Season One Episode 8: The revealing of private motivation occurs in 1x08 When Carmy is in al-anon. He reveals that his trying to fix the restaurant was him trying to fix the relationship with Mikey. At this point, love (Sydney) and the goal (fixing my relationship with Mikey) are lost forever. The vulnerable point is Carmy facing the chaos in his internal world.

Season Two Episode 10: I'm a fսckin'... I'm a fսckn' psycho. That's why. That's why I'm good at what I do. That's how I operate. I am the best because I didn't have any of this fսck¡n' bullshit, right?

Wherein the consequences of the swivel decision yield disaster; generally, the humiliating scene where private motivations are revealed, and either the relationship and/or the protagonist’s goal is seemingly lost forever.

7. Joyful Defeat – reconciliation between the characters that remind the audience how important the relationship is to them, usually (but not always) with a happy ending that implies marriage – but usually at the cost of something the main character has had to sacrifice.

Season One Episode 8: Two tops? Booths?

Nuff said.

Season two: We're left with a cliffhanger for the Joyful defeat. Will the reconciliation happen in season three? Will we have a happy ending and what will Carmy sacrifice? Will he choose love or the goal? Will Syd choose love or the goal of getting the star?

Oh the slow burn is real! Storer, what are you doing here? This is a romcom!

[the-fiction-witch]

The Chess Boy

Media The Queens Gambit

Character Benny Watts

Couple Benny X Reader

Rating Flirty

I walked the rather dismal New York streets it was grey, and rainy as it often is and for once I had journeyed out of my basement. I headed down the street a couple of blocks and turned down an alley making sure to turn where I needed to having long since learnt the path. Until I saw the little shop off the main street with its small sign above. 

'Y/ns' 

I headed inside the little shop and immediately felt fairly comfortable, Y/n's is a weird place. But I Like the place, It's hard to explain what it is, It sells magazines but it's not a newsagent, it sells sex toys but it's not a sex shop, it sells movies but it's not a rental place, they do tattoos but it's not really a tattoo parlour, it's kind of just... anything somewhat taboo it kind of does. And if they don't have something you can very easily ask for it and things will be found for you. I like the place it's a very accepting kind of place, I looked over a few magazines and glanced at some clothes they had when I caught behind the counter the beaded curtain separates and outstepped her Y/n herself. Let's face it the actual reason I come here. 

She stepped through in a pair of platform knee-high black buckle boots, a white tight, a white shirt with long ruffled cuffs around her elbows, and a black and white plaid pinafore dress the skirt of which barely hit her mid-thigh, silver jewellery all over her wrists and chest, long red coffin shaped nails that matched her blood red lips, intense almost grey contour and eye shadow with black graphic liner, her hair black with smooth glamourous curls and a V-shaped set of bangs, A few black tattoo's up her arms. She held the beaded certain in her hands above her head as she looked out into the shop. God damn, she looked like an album cover... And I loved it! 

She cracked a smile, "Well, well, If it isn't The Chess Boy." 

I smiled, "Yeah, yeah it's me." I nodded slipping my hat off and going to the counter with her, leaning my elbows on the wooden glass counter filled with various honestly frightening-looking items. "It's uhh it's Benny by the way."

"I remember." She cooed leaning on the counter too "So? Talk to me about chess Benny." She whispered in a hush seductive tone,

... well that might be the quickest way to turn me on.

"Well, I just got back from a tournament in Houston."

"Ohh?"

I told her every last detail of the games, who they were against, how I beat them all and she hung on my every word as if I was reading her romantic sonnets and nothing could make me more attracted to her than her listening to me like this, She always did this when I saw her always took such interest in what I had to say even if I know from playing chess with her she doesn't really get it. 

 "So, yeah seasons all done back here for a bit," I told her, "And I hustled Whice out of thirty bucks." 

"Humm good, I missed you," she smiled and played with my hair, 

I held my breath as she plaid with my hair, doing my best not to reveal the effect she had on me, "you uhh you did?"

"Hmm, what brings you in today?"

"I just fancied seeing you," I shrug, 

"Humm aren't you sweet." She smiled, "Well I happen to know of some very interesting magazines just come in."

"ohh I saw, very interesting... I'm liking this new, mini skirt thing going on."

"I bet you do," she smirked, fixing my jacket collar before she headed across the shop, "In the magazines or on me?" She smiled, 

I smirked turning to lean my elbow on the counter so I could watch her move, fuck her ass nearly slips out the bottom of that damn dress, "Both."

"Humm quiet the charmer aren't you?" 

"I try," I shrug, "What uhh what have you got going on today?" 

"Nothing much, a client at four for a tattoo, and a shipment of leather is coming in from across town at six," she explained, 

"I uhh I don't mind hanging around, giving you a hand." 

"You're welcome to stay Benny I'm not gonna kick you out you're too much fun to have around," she smirked, 

"I am?"

"Yeah, just one day you have to let me do something to you," she smirked coming back to the counter, 

"Something like what?" 

"Hummm... what is the question." she cooed, "I think, you'd look very cute with dark hair."

"Oh? You wanna dye my hair?"

"Kinda." 

"or is it just because you're still isn't that few weeks you can't dye your hair."

"...I mean that's probably part of it yeah." she shrugged, 

"No thanks, I like my hair."

"Fine," she pouts, "Would you let me... I've you a tattoo,"

"Of what?"

"Whatever," she shrugged, "I could do you a chess piece. or a poker chip. Or... if you really wanted to get cool I could checkerboard your leg that would be cool."

"Wouldn't that hurt? Like... a lot."  

"Yeah, but it would be cool."

"No thanks Y/n."

she pouted again, "What about a piercing? maybe you'd look hot with your ear done?" 

"You are just determined to make the stand out at the next tournament aren't you?" 

"I think you'd look cool." She smiled, "Plus you are kinda running out of areas to accessorize." she laughed taking some stock and heading to the back to do work, 

"True," I nodded watching her climb a small stool to stock some magazines I admit my eyes lingered longer than they should but... fuck she looked good. "I know I need something doing,"

"Oh? enlighten me?" 

"I need to trim my damn face its bugging me."

"Noooo!" She whined, 

"What?"

"No, You shave I'm kicking you in the crotch."

"Really?" I asked going over,

"Yeah, I love your little tickly face." She cooed, "You can't shave I'll be devastated."

"I won't shave then, just for you. I will trim it though it's getting too long."

"Not too much," she warns,

"Not too much, just for you." 

"Good," She smirked, playfully petting my hair before she leant down and gave my lips a kiss which was enough to make me jump a little, "Yeah good point you are kinda getting straggly," She said pinching my chin a little before she went back up, 

"How would you know? you've not kissed me before, maybe I'm just always like this?"

"Maybe," she smirked as she finished up her stocking throwing the box in the corner before she sighed and acted as if she was fainting falling off the steps which gave me a heart attack as I only just managed to catch her holding her like a bride in my arms, "Maybe I need a little more research," She smirked wrapping her arms lazily around my neck, 

"Well, research is always very important, no greater tool in chess than studying."

"Humm shut up Benny." She smirked pulling us together to connect our lips, I happily and early kissed her holding her body tight as our kiss very quickly became passionate. 

"Uhh am I interrupting something?" A voice spoke up which made us pull back seeing a man at the door, 

"Hey Mark, you're good go on back I'll be there in a sec." She smiled getting herself down from my arms, The guy headed back to the tattoo section of the shop and she got some stuff from her counter, "Now, you think you can be helpful Benny?"

"How helpful?"

"Can you watch the counter for me while I go doddle a spider on that guys arm?" 

"Am I getting paid,"

"You'll be... reimbursed." 

"oh yeah? How?"

"Use your imagination." she smirked 

"Yeah, sure,"

"Thank you," she smiled giving my lips another kiss before she scampered back, 

[valeriianz]

For the fic writer asks:

4. Obviously you did research for BitB. I'd love you to ramble about it if you like I'm sure you've got STORIES

5. Did you outline it?

7. How'd you decide it would be Hob's pov?

25-27 I'd love to know a/some favorite lines, details, and any lore you might want to share

omg TJ what wonderful questions! thank you!! this is going to get LONG!

4: Rambling about research!

do you wanna see a screen shot of my bookmarks under my "band au" folder?

man, and that's only what could fit on the screen.

there is... SO MUCH i chose to ignore for this fic. ideas that i had to drop, lines or extra details about the other band members equipment. more logistics, what Lucienne actually does, what Mervyn has to put up with as the new touring stage manager... i realized very early on that i couldn't possibly cram all this (super cool and eye opening) information into the fic and still keep reader's interest and, most importantly, to not stray away from the fact that this is a dreamling fic. whenever i felt myself getting carried away with a side character or job or even social media numbers, gossip, outside POVs, i had to reign myself in and get back on track. there will be time for exploring everything i missed in side stories after BitB is finished. i just hope i still have the energy to write it all.

once, i was so deep into research that after publishing chapter 2, i went into work and when my chef asked what "GA" meant on my prep list, i answered with full confidence, "general admission."

(it means "get ahead.")

the worst part of this entire writing process is im still learning new shit. i havent rewatched or read a lot of what i've saved because, to be very honest, i was feeling a little burnt out. it's why we're kinda full steam dreamling now. it's why ive been glossing over a lot of technical stuff and being vague about conversations amongst the crew/not including it at all. i don't prefer ignoring my research, but at the end of the day i want to still enjoy writing this fic and finish it. even if i can't be as descriptive and detailed and nuanced as i used to be.

5: Did you outline the fic?

(also asked by @hardly-an-escape!)

i wouldn't call what i have a proper "outline," it's more like a 20k word document filled to the brim with notes that i skim at least a dozen times while i'm writing a new chapter (being in my brain is literally hell). i live multichapter life very dangerously. i copy and paste lines or sections (always scattered, never together! augh!) that are meant to go together and plop them in a new document titled "band au ch.#" and then i structure the chapter around what i want to happen.

but to answer this question in the plainest of terms: yeah. i know exactly what's going to happen up until the very end. even if its all in my head and the only concrete shit that's written down are beats/plot points. i'll figure out the rest later!

7: How'd you decide it would be Hob's POV?

i actually never even considered writing it from Dream's POV. this was my first fic in the fandom (which is so nuts to think about lol) and writing in Dream's POV sounded so scary lol. i also just thought Hob's would be easier because i have worked a few backstage shows, back in my college years. i figured eh, i can make this work. and i loved exploring how weird and mysterious musicians can be, from a normie's POV. making Hob a fan first and having him worry about developing a parasocial relationship... it was fun to explore.

25: Share your favorite line

oh god, i have so many haha.

“What are you thinking about?” starting in ch.2 and onward lmao

“It’s–” Dream laughs quietly, bitterly. “I don’t like change.” He says each word with emphasis, eyes trailing down to fixate somewhere past Hob. “And I still hold onto the things I can control, like my instruments–” his eyes swing up to regard Hob apologetically. “Or my clothes or my–” he brings a hand up and wiggles his fingers around his head. “My hair.” ch.4

"His majesty is pleased." ch.5

“You are obsessive,” he states, slow and cool and with a quiet smile cracking through his composure. “Just like me.” ch.7

“You look good.” Hob has to lean in to say so, unwilling to raise his voice amongst the roar of the fans. ch.11

“Del looks like porcelain, but she’s actually made of steel.” Desire swirls the contents of their glass before pushing their shoulders back with a deep breath. “She's tougher than all of us.” ch.11

“Everything. I want…” his fingers tighten in Hob’s hair, pulling him closer, speaking against his lips. “…Everything.” ch.14

26: Share your favorite detail

how intentionally coy Dream behaves. i love keeping him a mystery and deciding when and how much to allow his intentions to peek through has been so fun lol.

Despair is in fact covered in tattoos and piercings! i say this because i feel like sometimes i forget lmao. (but also her and Hob don't interact much so. my bad haha).

Delirium's constant explosion of color in the way she dresses <3

Hob's dedication to his job, Dream, and the people he cares about the most. i don't care if people think i'm making him too soft and good, im gonna project on that man and make him a sweet, sweet simp lmao

and ah, this doesn't matter anymore, and i kinda regret doing it but. i originally had Dream's favorite bass all black but the pickguard was white. so it actually looked like Jessamy. not gonna lie when @designtheendless drew it all black i decided i liked it better that way. and truly i do. that's when i went back to ch.1 and changed it haha. to actually see the guitar with Dream, all done up sparkling black and purple flecks... gosh it's just so him. but then i got up to the reveal that the guitar's name was Jessamy and i was like, "oh, right." lmao. no one seems to care so i'll leave it be.

27: Share a piece of lore you made up for the story

i have a lot lmao. and this post is already so long... im hoping i can get to some if not all of it in side fics in the future. but for now, here's some that's more like headcanons but:

Dream hates flying. he can full on go into panic attacks on the plane if he allows himself to get into his own head.

this was mentioned briefly in ch.4, while Dream was discussing the formation of the band, but Despair was in another band before joining Endless. she is the only character in the fic who gets to keep her English roots (lol sorry) and is the oldest in the band (30).

all of the band members ages: Dream, Desire, and Death are all 28 and Delirium is 22.

Dream can experience subdrop after going too hard during a performance.

Dream paints his own nails, it's very therapeutic.

as an exercise, i explored my own headcanons for Dream in this verse in a word doc, and one thing i will share from it that you might find interesting: If I were to ever give Dream a theological values, I would describe him as a satanist. He is a physical and pragmatic person, nonconforming, and although he is introverted, he enjoys being a part of a community (he loves his band).

also found this in my notes: How Desire and Dream got along was Death making them fight it out. Hob raises an eyebrow “like in a brawl?” He couldn't imagine Desire throwing hands. “No, in a pillow fight that escalated in hair pulling and verbal taunts.”

fic writer asks

[cxrsed-angel]

Summer nights at the Drive In (fluff)|Eddie Munson x reader

word count: 1k

summary: eddie takes to the drive in and you misread his intentions

A/N: this is loosely based of an ethel cain song. but i wrote it in like one sitting just to get out of my writing break. I wanted to practice being a bit more descriptive.

warnings: a hint angst, they’re seeing a horror movie so mentions of like blood and gore but it’s not super detailed.

You’re sitting in Eddie the back of Eddie’s van, sitting on some old seats he put in the van as a couch for your drive-in movie date. you grab a handful of popcorn as you watch the horror movie that was playing, listening through his radio. He has a hand around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him as you relaxed under his arm. The two of you had been dating for a few weeks now, seeing where things would go. 

you watch the movie seeing the gorey scene as the antagonists stab the victim repeatedly porn star character, who was in the wrong place at the wrong time, falls dramatically as the blood starts forming around her body. you hear her screams through the car speaker, but you feel Eddie’s hands go further down your waist. You turn to look at him and see him staring at you, paying more attention to you than the movie. 

“What?” you look into his eyes, wondering why he was looking at you, wondering if you had a mess on your face, or something in your teeth, or if your hair looks stupid, or if your makeup…

“Nothing,” he says, smiling at you, which doesn’t help your insecurities. You look at him, confused. 

“Why aren’t you watching the movie?” He shrugs, uninterested in the movie. 

“Everyone knows if you have sex in a scary movie, you’re dead. it’s the rules, plus you’re way more interesting.” 

You’re staring into each other eyes. All you can think about is how pretty he looks as the moonlight shined through the car's windows, his big brown eyes looking into yours. he tied his hair in a low bun so it was out of his face since it's summer in Hawkins, and it’s so hot. You see his face better, taking in his features, a few curls frame his face, and the only thing you’re thinking of is. God, he’s so fucking pretty. 

 You’re brought out of your thoughts when you feel his cold rings on your face. His hands are on your cheek as he leans closer. You close your eyes, bracing yourself for the kiss, your stomach fluttering with excitement and anticipation. His lips touch yours as the two of you kiss softly. You hear screams and sounds of chainsaws from the movie, but it fades away in your brain, becoming nothing more than background noise as you focus on his lips. The slight taste of his cigarette is in your mouth. Your lips on each other for the first. you swear your heartbeat could be heard over the movie. It seems like it’s beating out of your chest. you’re nervous but excited. it was everything you imagined it would be. 

The two of you pull away slowly, but you’re eyes remain on each other. you stare, unsure of what to do next, what to say. then you remembered the rumors and the gossip of how he gets around with groupies from his shows, and you feel the excitement in your chest replaced with fear and disappointment, and Eddie could tell right away. 

Eddie panics, slightly scared he had moved too fast, worried he had done something wrong and pressured you. He thought the date was going well, that the two of you were going well. 

“Hey hey hey? What's wrong? My breath smells or something?” He hides his worries and concerns through humor, but he gets serious when he realizes it isn't working. 

 “Sweetheart, talk to me. What's Wrong?” 

You look down at the blankets he set on the floor of his van in the back, and the pillows, the battery-powered fairy lights he strung across the top of the van, setting the mood, and you realize this is how he does it, and all you could think about was the other girls he’d had back here, how he’d probably bring them right to the drive and fuck them while the movies played in the back. 

“Why did you…I thought you weren’t the type to date. I’ve heard you're not exactly a boyfriend type of guy?” you question him as your eye remain on the floor, choosing to look at anything, anywhere but him and those brown eyes. you mentally scolded yourself for being so naive he wanted to bang you and then move on to the next girl. 

“What? Where’s this coming from? I thought you’ve been enjoying our dates?” He looks at you, confused at what you just brought up.

“Did you just want to fuck me, Eddie? Is this how you do it with all your groupies!” You raise your voice slightly, moving away from him. 

“That’s not why I brought you here, I swear! Those rumors about the groupies and other girls and stuff that’s not true. I-“ he sighs, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, trying to find the words for what he was meaning to say.

 “No, I don’t sleep around; that shit is just one of the many rumors someone started about me. I really enjoy spending time with you, I’ve enjoyed these dates and, learning more about you, talking to you more than just when you’re asking for pot. I really, really like you, and I was, um…I was uh  gonna ask to be your boyfriend I wasn’t gonna try to sleep with you.”

You stare silently, taking in what he had just said, a bit shocked at his confession. You start feeling guilty about what you had assumed and how you believed the gossip. You never believed any of the other bullshit rumors about being a devil worshipper, so why did you believe he was the type to sleep around and break girls' hearts. 

“Eddie….I’m so sorry I got anxious and in my head and started overthinking…” You scoot closer to him, your hips touching his as you look at him, trying to apologize. 

“I would love it if you were my boyfriend.” you smile at him, hoping to salvage the date, hoping you hadn’t ruined it or that he hadn’t changed his mind. Eddie looks at you, and a slight smile forms on his lip. 

“I uh- I was hoping you’d say that honestly. Thats a big relief.” you see, there’s still hesitation in his voice and his eyes. 

“But… I-um, I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything I’m uh. What I’m trying to say I guess I'm in no rush to do anything you’re not ready for, sweetheart I’ll wait until you’re ready.” 

You nod, understanding what he meant, smiling more, appreciating his words, especially considering your past experiences and guys moving faster than you wanted. 

“Thanks, Eddie, that means a lot, and again, I’m sorry I’ll stop believing Hawkins's gossip from now on. I promise” You feel his arm come around your waist, pulling you into a side hug. 

“Hey, it’s alright, really; I’ve already forgotten about it. Let’s just finish the movie, I think there is a couple of minutes left.” 

You relax against Eddie as his hand drapes over your shoulder, pulling under his arm, enjoying the rest of the movie and the start of your new relationship. You can’t stop smiling as you think about your boyfriend, Eddie. You get warm and fuzzy all over thinking about it. You watch the movie but can't help but feel his eyes on you again. You glance over and see him looking at you again. 

You playfully roll your eyes at him, lightly throwing a bit of popcorn at him. 

“Stop staring at me watch the movie Eddie.”

[tommock]

I DNF'd Mistorn: Here's Why

Disclaimer: You asked for this. Let me start there. Don't get mad at me, Mistborn lover. If you clicked on this link, and that means you are taking the dagger into your own hand. The wound is self-inflicted!

I did not finish Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson. I know, I know, its actually called The Final Empire. The name Mistborn has stuck with so many readers for a reason, so I'll continue to use it as a shorthand. The book didn't work for me, but I think WHY it didn't work for me might be interesting to read about, especially for fellow authors.

If you have read and enjoyed the Mistborn books, or any work by Brandon Sanderson, I'm delighted. I want to applaud any work of fiction that brings people joy (so long as it or its author is not reprehensible in some way (he said, covering his ass)). I don't want you to think this is me taking shots at you or at Sanderson. I'm just talking about a work of fiction and what it did to my brain.

Believe me when I tell you I have no delusions about being some high-handed minister of good taste. You should see some of the anime I watch to destress at the end of a long day trying to be a self-published author, editor, and, well, just an ordinary semi-functioning human being.

I've read many, many books and loved them, only to come back to them later and find they were … less deserving of my matured tastes. Sometimes books meet us at the right time. If Mistborn was, or is, one such book for you, I would be a jerk and a fool if I tried to tell you that you were wrong for liking it. That isn't what this is. But, if you're at all curious why I didn't like it the way you did, here are my thoughts.

Instead of trying to construct some long elaborate essay, I've decided to present my reading notes as I was writing them. If you're at all familiar with my SPFBO9 opening reads thread, this is in a similar, though much protracted style. This is my travelogue of the first few chapters. If these notes are rough or feel stilted in places, I'm sorry. I DNF'd the book a few months ago, and I found in trying to clean up my notes that I was making up commentary to fill in gaps and I don't think that's fair. I've tried to provide some context where I could.

Pages referenced are from the first mass market edition, published August 2007 by Tor

My Notes:

Starts well enough. Interesting introduction to the fantastic elements of the environment (the ash fall) and the enslavement of the skaa. Some neat 2nd world titles “obligator,” etc.

Not great, not riveting, but competent introduction of world and one protagonist, Kelsier. He doesn't know what to do with Vin, though. Disconnect between the characters as we're told they are and their actions. Lacking coherent motivation.

(P.5)The slave that stands and stares defiantly sending a chill through the lord so-and-so is a bit melodramatic. Both actions struck me as over the top.

(writing note)…too many “of courses”

The writing is competent and descriptive. The Mist at night is another interesting setting detail.

(p.6) I immediately dislike Kelsier. “I’ll have to cure them of that (fear of the mist) some day.” This is has an unsympathetic arrogance about it. If this is also the man who stared defiantly at lord-so-and-so, hes blasé about endangering these people, and seems to look down on them, much like lord-so-and-so. I suspect this impression is not intentional. I suspect I’m supposed to think him strong and clever. We’ll see.

(7) rolling his eyes at these people. This seems intentional. But it’s also annoying.

(10) beatings beatings beatings. These “peasants” and their daily beatings. Did I mention the beatings? Their lives are harsh! There are beatings!

(‘) what is this talk about Tepper “leading” the skaa? Leading them how? They’re slaves! What decisions are they making? No, really. What is this forced little conflict? It’s pointless.

(‘) “How do you do that?” “What?” “Smile all the time” - there’s no reason for him to ask this. It’s unmotivated dialogue. How do you smile all the time? How? No. Why, sure. “You keep smiling. Is something about our home funny to you?”

(19-20, ch.1) I’m having trouble with Sandersons storytelling. This is coming across as heavy handed and simplistic. Here’s Vin. She was betrayed. There are betrayals. This boy who came to get her who’s nice enough will also betray her. But the ash is free…

I wonder if we’re going to slowly work through the alphabet section by section. Ash, then beatings and betrayal… who knows what could be next? Crime? I bet it’s crime.

Also - Reen’s sayings and betrayal. I think in general I find it a bit affected when we meet a character and they’re immediately thinking of their backstory … but that’s probably not fair of me. I think what comes across as affected is Sandersons execution. There’s a very light fiction - YA quality about Vin’s angsty introduction. I might have loved it if I read it at 14, but not now.

I’d like to think of an example of what would be more appealing to me - the introduction of a character with similar enough circumstances… Actually, Gideon the 9th might be a good example. We get to hear Gideon’s voice in the prose and the dialogue and get a strong sense of her character as well as the specific and very interesting world building details of how she got into the 9th house. Here, Reen’s betrayal is left completely unexplored, and so I wonder why bring it up at all except for that cheap YA punch in the gut of “my brother betrayed me and now I’m here.”

Maybe Sanderson felt some necessity to move faster here. He wanted to get to the city theiving … but it isn’t working for me, so obviously I think it was a mistake. Obviously he was hoping this would create a sense of anticipation that we would eventually find out HOW Vin’s brother betrayed her, but because he leads with it and then doesn’t explain it, it makes it seem like it doesn’t really matter HOW Vin was betrayed, what’s important is that she was betrayed and now she doesn’t trust anyone. It’s just a bit weak.

THE HEAVY HANDEDNESS (People being mean to Vin - her hard life) (21) the slap in the face (23) Theron looking Vin up and down - “eyes lingered on her … running down the length of her body. … She was hardly enticing (didn’t even look 16); some men preferred such women, however.” (24) “what do you know?” “Enough” - Vin hurts her, expositional dialogue about her brother’s debt and selling her to a whorehouse.

(25) fearing Vin would disappear in a scene she doesn’t have much to do during, we get these unnecessary interjections of her watching the interaction, followed by the explanation of Camon thinking Vin is his good luck charm. This should have been presented earlier, because it just interrupts the dialogue here. But also, it feels inaccurate after Vin made such a useful critique of Camon’s servants. She seems much more useful in other ways than a luck charm, and comfortable offering her criticism without the slightest hesitation.

This chapter ends rather abruptly and without much Go to it. Vin uses her Luck and gets our stuffy official to consider her boss’s mundane business proposal.

The notion that Camon brings Vin along because he thinks of her as his luck charm feels really thin, especially on a job like this where everyone has to look the part. Which raises an important question: what was Vin doing there? I mean literally. Why didn’t Camon have SOMETHING for her to do. Camon didn’t dress her up in any part, she didn’t have any kind of cover story as his daughter or nurse or anything. Just some kid in the room dressed … who knows how while important official business is discussed. She just floats somewhere, doing nothing, as far as anyone is concerned.

VIN’S MOTIVATION Where is it? What does she get out of making this work for Camon if he has no idea what she’s doing? Why is she avoiding him if this is such an important job? Why is she helping him at all?

The pieces are there, but Sanderson doesn’t put them together.

Camon should know about Vin’s ability to “smooth things over” in some capacity. This would give him a serious reason for her being there on this crucial job. Vin should be motivated to help him because if this lucrative job works out, it will go a long way towards paying off her brother’s debt. Now suddenly there is a sense of urgency for her instead of just having a bad time owned by a “crew leader” getting slapped around. The scam itself isn’t enough. Frankly, it’s kind of boring at this point. It’s a slow moving beurocratic swindle.

(32) Kelsier. Sanderson is doing a good job introducing some thieves’ cant here as Dockson and Kelsier are planning their job, talking about how they need a “Smoker.” Someone is a good Tineye. The loss of a man to the Steel Ministry underscores the mortal risk these men are taking. But … there’s something about all this crime play that feels a bit cute, like Sanderson had only a passing, generic understanding of (fictional) gangs/criminal organizations. He’s spent his world building energy on the fantasy aspects of the story - the dystopian Tolkien Lord Ruler and Steel Ministry, skaa, ashfalls, mist - but not on developing the criminal world of the characters, linguistically speaking. They’re all crews working on a job headed by a crew leader. This is the world we’re living in, most immediately, and yet it feels the most underdeveloped.

“Kelsier shook his head. ‘No. He’s a good Smoker, but he’s not a good enough man.’ Dockson smiled. ‘Not a good enough man to be on a THIEVING CREW … Kell, I have missed working with you.”

This stopped me dead. I laughed at the book and put my hand over my eyes. “Thieving crew” is just silly. It’s sixth grade D&D language, but even more ridiculous is the sentiment of Dockson’s statement: that character is somehow a moot point because they are criminals. It’s as if he’s saying: we’re breaking the law, so we’re the bad guys, and bad guys don’t work with “good men.”

Here we see Sanderson’s shallow understanding of the characters he’s portraying. They are stealing from slavers who exist in the service of a brutal, oppressive dictator. But put that aside, and consider we’ve just been told one of their ilk had been caught and beheaded by the Ministry. The risk these people are facing couldn’t be higher. Working with people they can trust, a stand up guy or a “good man,” would be one of the most important things to them. From their point of view a “good man” doesn’t mean a patron saint of the poor, but it means a hell of a lot. If a guy is a drunk who cheats on his wife, you can’t trust him not to turn on you. If he gambles too much, you can’t trust him not to gamble on your safety. He doesn’t keep his apartment clean, how can you trust him to be conscientious about keeping you alive. It all matters - even more so because he’s on a “thieving crew.”

Now, Sanderson probably didn’t give this line more than a moment's thought. He was writing fast and sailed right over it. But that’s exactly the problem. It gives the book a kind of childish, YA feeling.

(33) “Kelsier turned with curious eyes.” I’ve written lines like this, but I almost always revise them because I write about eyes too much. The point is his eyes aren’t curious, Kelsier is, and it shows on his face. I can’t picture curious eyes, and I’m sure you can’t either. And I would cut the next line of dialogue - going to chastise my brother … we already know he was going to do this because he said so, and the line just isn’t very good anyway. A look of curiosity from Kell, and the promise from Dockson “it’ll be worth your time,” gets us out of the section better. Sometimes the best repartee between characters is a look.

(33-34) the scenes with Vin remain heavy handed, and affected. This section adds almost nothing to the story accept for the disappointingly narrow view of a fantasy underworld that the women in it are only ever whores. This from a world crawling with Smokers and Tineyes? I think not. The clumsy presentation of Vin’s awful life is what makes these sections particularly affected. With her particular ability to use her Luck, I can’t help but wonder why she’s even still here. That seems to be the story to me. Not the abuse, but why she remains when she clearly has the power to get out. She can smooth over deals with reps from the SM, but she hasn’t thought to calm some member of the crew and then just … walk? Go literally anywhere in the city and use her Luck to get work where she won’t be whipped and slapped. It seems like the easiest thing in the world, so why hasn’t she done it? This is what the story here could have been, and it would have been so much more interesting.

Obviously she has to be there so Sanderson can have terrible things happen to her so she can be saved by Kelsier just like he saved the other raped scaa girl (let’s all take a moment to roll our eyes) and then her character can have a trajectory from passive victim to active hero - but that’s an excuse, and excuses don’t make good stories.

That said, as is, these two pages could be cut entirely and with very minor revision to the next session, nothing would be lost. It introduces a hideout we don’t need to know about, abuse that is redundant, over the top and unmotivated, and then Camon says “it’s time.” It’s just a prelude, in which nothing happens, before the actual scene. So just cut to the actual scene.

(36) we finally find out what the Camon job was supposed to be, I suspect because Sanderson finally decided what the details were. It would have been much more interesting to know this earlier, just like it would have been more interesting to understand about the particulars of Vin’s brothers betrayal earlier, so we could understand the context of the story being told.

But a LARGER ISSUE continues to emerge. First Camon tells Vin nothing about his plans. She says she is apparently the only crew member who didn’t know what was going on. Then, as they sit in the waiting room, in the vey belly of the obligator beast, he tells her everything. Why? Because Sanderson wants us to know even though he never decided who this character was.

He wants her to be a passive victim of inordinate abuses by a group of irredeemable villains, who only avoids constant sexual assault through the exhausting use of her secret magic so she can be saved and then learn how to be powerful later. But he also wants her to be a smart, capable member of Camon’s crew who is considered as such, because he knows passive protagonists aren’t interesting and because he wants us, the reader, to know what’s going on, and also think that Vin is cool. She can’t be both at the same time. She either needs to be less of an abject, pathetic victim, or she needs to be less involved in this big important scam - and that means she knows less about it and does less to make it work. As is, he’s done too little with either idea of her character and both Vin and Camon are an unmotivated mess.

(42) steel inquisitor. Cool, creepy, disgusting - something straight out of hellraiser.

(43) “Besides, I’m not about to let a possible Mistborn slip away from us” Ah!

Ch3 (45) after the meeting with the obligator (that was a trap), is the first time Vin ever expresses any interest in getting away. Much too late Sanderson gives us a much too thin reason why Vin hasn’t run away (considering the conflicting versions of her character as mentioned before). It’s little more than an afterthought.

(47) in no more than 2 pages Vin goes from never thinking she could make it on her own to leaving for good, telling herself she’d survived sleeping in alleyways before, she could do it again and - “Reen had taught her how to scavenge and beg. Both were difficult in the Final Empire … but she would find a way, if she had too.”

So far, this is all based on a bad feeling. More motivation conflict - Vin has no problem telling Camon directly how his plans won’t work and that he should change the way the servants are dressed, helps him succeed with her luck in both plans, but sees no reason to tell him “I have a bad feeling about this. That was too easy. Why did that obligator suddenly agree. Doesn’t this seem weird to you?”

Sanderson has many of the right pieces, but he hasn’t been able to put them together coherently.

(45)(And, just as an aside, I’m not sure why a girl who has spent to book so far reiterating to herself that EVERYONE WILL BETRAY ME is going out of her way to tell Ulef she has a bad feeling and to get him to come with her. Sanderson says “if he would go with her, then at least she wouldn’t be alone.” But he has also up until this point defined her character by a near constant desire to be alone - when she is introduced sitting in the window of the hideout thinking her brothers word “Vin wasn’t on duty; the watch-hole was simply one of the few places where she could find solitude. And Vin liked solitude. ‘When you’re alone, no one can betray you’- (37) at the “It’s just another betrayal, she thought sickly. Why does it still bother me so? Everyone betrays everyone else. That’s the way life is … She wanted to find a corner - someplace cramped and secluded - and hide. Alone.”

(47) "Bringing Ulef was a good idea. He had contacts in Luthadel." These after the fact explanations are no good. This isn't Vin thinking this, it's the author coming up with more justification for Vin's action, but in order for her character to seem active and motivated, this needed to be revised into the section where Vin decides to bring Ulef. Now it's just tacked on - oh, yeah, and, by the way, if you weren't sure it made sense for Vin to do this, Ulef probably knows people. So, there.

It doesn’t wash. Who is this girl? Can she not stand the idea of being alone, or is it the one and only thing she wants? Is she strong and resourceful in spite of her circumstances, or is she a passive victim? Does she believe everyone will betray her, or does she desperately want to believe otherwise because she can’t live in such an unkind world? Sanderson doesn’t seem to have been able to make up his mind. Maybe some of these details were added in revision on the suggestion of beta readers and the result is a checkerboard character. I’ve seen that before where you make a suggestion to a writer and they add your suggestion but they don’t make the necessary changes to the rest of the book so that the new material earns its place, they just throw it in and dust off their hands - job well done, gotta stay on schedule to publish! But now I’m just writing fan fiction about Sanderson’s process. I don’t know.

(55) Vin’s “weakness” - the contradictions/inexactitude of characters seems to be an ongoing issue for Sanderson, at least for Vin. Is she weak and has to pretend to be strong, or is she strong and often chooses to pretend to be weak (so far she has seemed to be weak and act weak, other than her Luck).

Well, that's as far as I got. Kel shows up just in time to be the wrath of justice for Vin. He's the superman who will make everything alright for this feckless girl. Our hero. Did Sanderson lay it on thick enough? Did you get that these people were all so irredeemably and stupidly bad? Aren't you so glad this strong man has shown up to be Vin's vengeance, just like had been telegraphed all along?

Sorry, I don't mean to be sarcastic. This part of the narrative really isn't so bad, its just been so heavy handedly and clumsily lead up to that there's no thrill in it for me. It isn't a bit satisfying. I'm just glad I don't have to read about any of these shallow side-characters anymore. Except, I have no intention to read on, so I don't have to read about any of them anymore.

Is this book bad? Yes and no. I don't want to read any more, and only read as far as I did as an examination of storytelling, so for me its bad. You only get so many eyerolls before I have to say that. The sentences are very clear and coherent. On their own, they are coherent. Together, they fail to paint of picture of coherent characters who drive the action of the story. If you don't have that, at least in my book, you've got nothing.

The images work. The setting, in its broad strokes, is eveocative. I'd love to set a DnD campaign in a world of ash and a dark lord and all that (I'm not the least mad about the cliché of the dark lord, by the way. Who doesn't love archetypical stories?) But, as near as I can tell, there are no human beings in this book. No one is real. The characters are just that, only characters in a book. They are paper cutouts. They fall flat when the hand of the author isn't pushing them around and making them do things.

Fans often hold Sanderson up as the gold standard of a fantasy author who produces work fast. And having read this far into Mistborn, I can say this about it: It reads like it was written fast.

Yes, Mistborn was an earlier book of his, so I can't judge him by it alone. But it is a work that is so often held up as a favorite by his readers. That's why I picked it up, to see what all the fuss was about. There were many things I enjoyed, but what I enjoyed wasn't the narrative. The story and the characters who moved it were the thing that I enjoyed least. The unique magic and broad setting details and description of places and creepy Inquisitors were what I liked best. The proper nouns were fun.

But proper nouns don't make a story for me. So I did not finish Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson.

If I were looking for a light fantasy read that I didn't have to take seriously and I could pick up and put down whenever I wanted because it was never that exciting or particularly witty or clever, but managed to string along one event after another and kept them going, more or less, whether it made much sense or not, until the end, I think Mistborn would be a fine book to dip into. Lots of people have read it. But then, that seems to me to be its major appeal. It’s a book you can talk about with other people.

It's not enough for me, though. There's lots of fun fantasy books out there that feel more coherent, and, well, INTERESTED in the story they're telling. Interested in violence and revolution and crime in an oppressively totalitarian, dystopian world. Interested in the plight of a young girl who only wants … well, what does she want? To be safe? But the only way she finds she can be safe is to go toward danger and realize how very strong she is? Maybe this story would like to be that, but it hasn't been for the first 60 or so pages.

Sanderson's novel felt more interested in the large and vague story shapes around the characters - a city, a dark lord, slavery, soot snow, bad mist, some kinds of magic, and (I cringe to say it) rape and thieving and beatings - but not in the world of their lives.

I've heard good things about The Way Of Kings from people who did not like Mistborn either, but its safe to say at this point that I have reservations about my reading tastes being a good match for Sanderson's work, at least at this point in time.

If I'm looking for fun I'd rather read another swanky, noir fantasy by Douglas Lumsden any day, or the next gothic gaslamp fantasy mystery by Morgan Stang, or discover my next favorite author, indie or otherwise.

I don't think Mistborn was terrible by any stretch of the imagination. Sanderson has delighted readers for over a decade now! He's prolific, hard working, and he delivers what his fans want, and he and they continue to be richly rewarded for his efforts. He is a Name in the genre, often listed alongside the greats. And why not? Isn't pleasing readers what this is all about? Taylor Swift has oceans of adoring fans, and she's no less deserving of her accolades. Brandon Sanderson is the Taylor Swift of fantasy, you could say. I just don't like her music either.

[nitpickrider]

a bit silly, but if you had to fill an Avengers roster, who would you pick?

Wooof, oh me oh my. Let's lay down some ground rules before I do this. 1). Only people who have been Avengers at some previous point in time. Doesn't narrow it down a LOT but this list would be a jigsaw of my favorite Z-Listers otherwise 2). Limiting it to seven people. That's the magic number with superhero teams and it gives me a reason to stop

Steve Rogers, AKA Captain America: Sometimes you just cannot beat a classic and when it comes to Avengers line ups there is no one that I think is more integral than Captain America. The pathos that he brings to the table no matter what character he is interacting with is palpable and reading through his first big volume has given me a deep respect and love for the character. He's our leader for sure, the axis of solid, steady service I can hang my weirder picks on.

Dr. Walter Newell AKA Stingray: You all saw this coming and don't act like you didn't. One of my favorite if not my FAVORITE Marvel Characters of all time. He's a doctor with an interesting specialization. His "I'm only a part time superhero" hangup is even funnier and more interesting if forced into the limelight on THE hero team. Not to mention he comes with his own swanky Hydrobase we can use for an HQ and with his wife and four kids running around underfoot we have the kind of domestic adorability I think any good team needs.

Miguel Santos AKA Living Lightning: The first time I can ever remember reading about a comic book hero being gay, as just like, part of who they are. A tiny detail in their rich inner life. Not to mention the less respect a character gets the more I want to lift them up on my shoulders. He could be the sweetheart with a little chip on his shoulder from not getting the respect his objectively awesome powers objectively deserve.

Angelica Jones AKA Firestar: Something you may not know about me. The first piece of media that really opened my eyes as to the potential and depth and scope of the Marvel Universe was Spiderman and His Amazing Friends. It was cheesy, it was cheap and yet Angelica was the first character that I felt SPECIAL for knowing and caring about. She's happy, she's passionate, her simple classic costume kicks ass and the New Warriors need their goddamn respect. 'Nuff said.

Sersi, Just Sersi: What little I have seen of this character fucking FASCINATES me. This woman is chaos incarnate. It's like she is actively making on the fly decisions with everyone she meets whether she's going to kill them, screw them, turn them into a small mammal or some combination of the three. She's *Instant Plot Complication Just Add Water* because she saw a butterfly and that somehow translates to her blowing the entire team's cover.

Dane Whitman AKA The Black Knight: I love everything about him. I love his vibe, I love the fact that his backstory is built partially around recontextualizing the lore of a mostly forgotten Atlas fantasy comic. I love that he has a wickedly evil cursed blade that comes with the side effect of basically holding him hostage to a heroic moral code. And on top of that he's a dorky intellectual who can't see a social cue if it's blaring at him from oncoming traffic.

Jennifer Walters AKA She-Hulk: ...I do not feel the need to explain or justify this choice. YOU know Jen is awesome. *I* know Jen is awesome. She-Hulk does not need justification. She shows up in stories and makes them better by existing. Also yes this is the bodytype I'd use. Yes, I have an addiction. No, I don't feel the need to explain that either. RESERVISTS: Characters I really like but either don't know enough about or don't think they make good Avengers

Marc Spector and System AKA Moon Knight: One of my favorite dudes but does NOT play well with others. Was interesting for about 10 seconds as a member of the West Coast team but I'd prefer he never touch the ranks again.

Flint Marko AKA Sandman: Marvel did Sandman fucking dirty by never letting him fully reform and be the good guy. I want Sandman to be the good guy dammit

Maria de Guadalupe Santiago AKA Silverclaw: I know literally nothing about her outside of reference books but her powers are dope and I dig her vibe.

[readalyavailabletaggy]

i think “Lo-Fi Beats to Yoyle To” is one of my favorite not episode bfdi videos (is it a short? i guess its moreso a music video) purely because of how comfy it is and the slice of life-y ness of it. “its not canon-“ I DONT CARE SHOOTING U WITH MY EVIL LASER!!! um anyway yeah under the cut is me analyzing multiple scenes from it. i wont be looking into every single one but a lot of them

THE FIRST SCENE and its already a banger. even tho we dont see this hypothetical “team ice cube room” ever outside of this (yeah yeah not canon) it still is so interesting to like. think about. i cant remember how many times we’ve seen objects fall asleep at night but. i love how gelatin has a biiig sleep bubble thats him colored (does it taste like jelly??) AND. FIREY JR. SLEEPS IN A SOCK. thats adorable. anyway yeah even if its a reference to the lofi girl i really like how donut is, presumebly, writing in his diary? late at night with lofi music on? thats so cute. i also love how you can see a picture of bomby and a statue of ice cube on the top shelf

THIS SCENE is awesome too - we never really saw the big staircase outside of bfb 1 & 11 but i love the idea so much that it became a hangout spot for the objects! (in bfb 11x it even has graffiti on it after its first appearance in bfb 1, which is such a cool detail and goes to show the lived-in ness which i adore and this short does so well. and rhat isnt even in this video!! the point im making - bring back the big staircase. where did it go) even flower and bomby, characters who we never saw interact and are on different teams are listening to music together and eating bananas. thats so awesome, i love the idea that the contestants are way more chill with eachother when not competing? everything revolves around the competition which makes sense, but i love these little moments

next up! first off i love the lighting here, it seems to be at sunrise or sunset with the orange sky which is SO interesting cuz. we never see sunrise or sunset in the show!!!! its always just day or night. its crazy how they excluded the best time of day. anyway i love how:

- bell’s just vibing on her own!! it makes sense ig considering she can fly anywhere

-book’s seemingly watching bell? lesbian behavior

-GOLFBALL SHES JUST. doodling on her piece of paper thats adorable. i love seeing objects do the things they like!!!

i also really like how we see one of the paper airplanes. we see them in bfb 13 which is awesome too but seeing the stuff from prior challenges is so cool and i love the continuity

OMG ITS THE BFDI (Burried forest, deciduously insulated) again!!! i love seeing this thing, its similar to the paper airplanes or staircase where its so cool to see things which are one-off moments/objects/places in episodes, seeing them multiple times really helps flesh out the world. ALSO. naily and barfbag playing/vibing in the water. thats so adorable

the next scene is one where we see a few bleh members in their room from bfb 12 - once again going back to it being so cool to see places from other challenges!! (even if it appears to be the case that four just made and destroyed them for the episode.)

as you can SEE i specifically chose to highlight taco here. SHES JUST DRAWING A PICTURE OF HERSELF AND LABELING IT ME??? thats so cute i love her for that

AND HERE we have pin vibing in the goiky canal(?) in one of the boats. this is so awesome i love seeing the bfdi boats reappear and i love how pin’s just chilling. love her for that

LAST ONE i want to go over: oh my GOD?? ITS LEGO BRICK IN ONE OF THE LEVELS FROM BFDIA 5B?? this was and still is such a cool reference. the idea that they’re still stuck in evil leafy is such a interesting and sad idea!! the lofi music gives this scene an heir of loneliness which makes it so weirdly compelling to me.

anyway yeah thats it!!! if theres one thing to learn one of the best thints competition shows can and should do imo is slow down every once in a while and show the contestants living their lives. this was seen more recently with bfdia 13 but this video is another great example and it doesnt even use words or a story. it doesnt need to, the object show is a visual media and this is such an awesome video which tells us so much about the bfdi universe without words

usually i dont ask for reblogs and this isnt even an effort thing i wrote this in like 20 min but. it would mean a lot to me if you reblogged this cuz i think its really cool to see the objects here and i think more people should see and think about the slice of life portions of object shows

[tobiasdrake]

Okay, your post on Videl got me thinking of Lunch again. She was one of the highlights of Dragonball for me, and she just, didn't exist in Z? Outside of a brief appearance at the end of the anime. Do you have any interesting thoughts on her?

Lunch was mostly a combination of two jokes, one of which is gross and the other of which is hysterical.

As a character, Lunch was mostly relegated to two bits. For the first, I think it was a popular gag in 80's and 90's anime to have an elderly pervert try to pull shit on young women only to face violent comeuppance. I remember seeing this in quite a bit of anime back in the day, and that's precisely the gag that the Muten-Roshi came to center around.

This is precisely what Lunch was originally introduced for. A sweet and unassuming woman that Roshi could perv on....

Right up until a sneeze brings out her alter for violent retribution.

Lunch was the first Super Saiyan IN THIS ESSAY I WILL

Fortunately, since Goku spends so little time at Kame House as the manga progresses, we don't tend to see much of this. Instead, the main thing Lunch gets used for is indiscriminate violence. As Blonde Lunch settled in as one of the gang, her propensity for crime and ability to pull firearms straight out of thin air became her main gag.

You know, in retrospect? If she had to be written out? Robbing the Muten-Roshi of that diamond and then flying off over the horizon would have been a great way to do it.

Imagine if this was the last we ever saw of Lunch. Powerhouse of an ending for her character, wasted on a funny bit in the RRA arc.

Honestly, the RRA arc is peak Lunch. That time she kicked God in the butt notwithstanding.

For the last important thing she ever did in the series, that's such a note to go out on.

But in addition to the hilarious diamond bit, the RRA arc also gives us the only time Lunch has actually gotten to use her propensity for violence in a genuine fight. This is one of my favorite Lunch moments.

Mistakenly believing that the Muten-Roshi is the inventor of Goku's Dragon Radar, Red Ribbon moves to seize control of Kame House. This goes badly for them.

It's been like four months since that guy managed to beat Goku in the ring. Y'all made mistakes.

Red Ribbon manages to make him stop doing this to them by taking Lunch hostage.

But Turtle's there with the palm frond.

And then, shortly after, she robbed the Muten-Roshi for that diamond. Her whole part of the General Blue sub-arc is Peak Lunch.

(I genuinely don't know if using sneezes to transition between personalities is, like, a common ableist stereotype in Japanese culture or if Danganronpa's Genocide Jack was inspired by Lunch specifically. I do wonder.)

The 22nd Tenkaichi Budokai, however, would kickstart what would unexpectedly be the beginning of the end for Lunch.

Her takeaway from Goku and Tenshinhan's final match is that Ten is a fucking beast and Mama Want. This wasn't supposed to be how her character exits the series. But then Raditz showed up.

In the reunion between Goku and his friends at Kame House, Yamcha and Lunch would both reasonably be expected to be present. Yamcha's absence is explained by him and Bulma fighting again, while Lunch is said to have left after the 23rd Tenkaichi Budokai to go with Tenshinhan.

And then she never came back. This was the last we ever heard of her. Toriyama has said in interview that he forgot she existed, but he did still occasionally draw her or provide a few extra details for what ever became of her and Tenshinhan's... situation.

In interview following the release of Battle of Gods, he finally gave a final ending for Lunch and Ten's situation.

"Stoic Tenshinhan mainly does farming in addition to his training. He can split into multiple bodies and grow extra arms, so harvesting the crops goes quickly. He was found by Lunch, who fell in love with him at first sight and had been constantly pursuing his whereabouts, and even reluctantly lived together with her; but she wasn’t cut out for farming, and Tenshinhan has no interest in romance, so she left after just a few days. After that, it seems Lunch apparently stops in from time to time."

We don't get to see much of Ten's social life because he doesn't associate with anybody. He and Chiaotzu are an island unto themselves, only popping in when the Earth is in peril.

Unless they're undergoing some sort of heavenly trial or fighting the apocalypse, they don't hang out with Kame-senryu. And since our guys are Kame-senryu, that means we don't get to hang out with them.

They're off doing their own thing and walking their own path. And Lunch is over there in the mystical land of wherever they fucking go with them now. Popping in on the aromantic Tenshinhan from time to time while living her exciting life of crime.

So, farewell Lunch. You really were a hoot to have around.