#but its harder to make a thing look less flat since idk how

[iridisentry]

I made a Nico!

This is my first time posting art or drawing for a fandom that doesn't solely exist in my head. Tell me how I did?

Nico di Angelo in this is in his late teens and I hc him to be less exhausted and hurting then. I also hc a fuckton of piercings as clearly shown. Shoulder-length hair is my jam to be honest.

[finelinevogue]

hiii idk if ur comfortable doing this but im recovering from one and it would mean the world but could you do one where the reader has/had an eating disorder and when eating harry just kinda comforts her because he knows its harder to eat etc (i hope u get what i mean :( )

hi! hope you’re having a lovely day! first of all i am really proud of you and you in turn should be really proud of yourself! this one is especially for you, for me and for anyone who is going through or recovering from an ED. please read whenever you feel comfortable in doing so and that’s okay if today is not that day <333 love you

It was a bad day.

Not very often do you have them anymore, but when you do have them you feel as though you will never be good enough and that things will never get better.

When you were younger you developed an eating disorder, but never used to see it as being a problem. It started off as not snacking as often as you used to, specifically cutting out sugar and fat from your diet completely. Over time it grew to not having lunch, breakfast or dinner and then all three altogether. Your stomach shrunk and you kept your stomach tide over with water - at least that had no calories. The pains in your stomach became normal, but the pain against your heart was so much worse.

Because people began to notice.

It would be a small comment like “you look like you’ve lost weight” or “you’re all but skin and bone”, but it would make you realise, just for a minute, that maybe what you were doing to yourself was more significant than you first thought. But you continued, because you had to be enough. You wanted that flat stomach. You wanted that thigh gap. You wanted to be the skinny girl that could be picked up. You wanted to fit in clothes less than a size 10. You wanted to be able to be confident in showing more skin. You just wanted to feel beautiful - be pretty.

It wasn’t until Harry came into your life that things started to change. He didn’t make any comments about your weight, ever, but only encouraged you to do what felt right to you. When you asked him to help you find a therapist, because you finally had someone to support you through it all, he was ready with his laptop and notebook. When you asked him to make a slightly bigger portion for you today, he would make his the same size so you didn’t feel like you were being greedy. He was your equal. When you asked him whether he loved you he never responded with words, but actions. Kisses. Sex. Chocolate. Flowers. Soapy baths. Nail painting. Hand holding. Cuddling. It was a surprise each time as to what he would do, but it showed you how much he really did love you.

Since being with Harry he had guided you through putting on weight, with the aid of your therapist and your fitness coach too. You had come so far, even with still a long way to go, and for that Harry was forever proud of you.

Harry is proud of you.

Some days it was hard to believe that though. Some days you slipped. Some days that dark cloud reminded you of all the negative things you once believed about yourself. Some days were like today.

“Y/N i’m home!” Harry called through your shared apartment.

You were still in bed. He’d left you this morning to go record some stuff in the studio, silently kissing your forehead goodbye as you slept still. Today was a day where you reminded yourself of all the bad thoughts you used to think about secondly. Today you couldn’t find the strength to get out of bed and go eat, but scroll through models instagrams and pick out all the things you wished you had instead of them. Kendall Jenners figure. Kaia Gerber’s youth. Gigi Hadid’s eyes. The list was endless.

The only time you’d gotten yourself of bed had been to go to the toilet. You had thought about intentionally making yourself sick, a deadly habit that you’d worked hard to overcome, but with much strain, tears and a shout at yourself in the mirror you managed to walk away.

“Baby?” Harry called out again, but your throat was so dry that he hadn’t heard you call out that you were in the bedroom.

When he walked through the bedroom he instantly knew it had been a bad day. You were tucked up underneath all the covers, with tear marks staining your face and the hood, of his Green Bay Packers hoodie, pulled up over your head. You chewed on the strings of his hoodie, a sign that you were physically hungry but your brain wasn’t allowing you to process that you were.

“Harry?” Your voiced rasped out, turning to see his beautiful, glowing, face.

“It’s alright lovie, let it out. I’m right here, you’re okay.” He cooed, immediately climbing into bed next to you so that he was facing you. He took the strings out of your mouth and traced his finger over your bottom lip, leaning in for a quick kiss. It was his way of letting you know he was here with you.

“I-i’m sorry.” You whimpered, your bottom lip trembling.

“Wait one minute lovie,” Harry shot up out of bed, leaving you confused as to what he was doing, but when he came back with a tall glass of water your eyes watered over with admiration for him, “just sit up and take a sip of this for me baby.”

You nodded wearily and took a few gulps of the water, finding pleasure in the way it quenched the thirst in the back of your throat.

“Thank you.” You smiled, handing him back the glass half-full.

“And thank you.” He replied, kissing your forehead softly. “Was it a tough day?”

Harry leaned back against the headboard and brought you to lay on top of him, your head against his chest. It was comforting to hear his heart beat the same rhythm as yours. He pulled the hood down so he could tangle his fingers through your hair - a comforting method he’d come to know you loved.

“Just felt really bad this morning and then I wanted to so badly go make myself sick,” you felt Harry tense up a little at your words, “but I didn’t and now I feel really angry and frustrated about it. I just… oh I don’t know H.” Your words deflated.

“Baby listen to me, you made it through the day! That may not seem like an achievement but is fucking is! You did so great and I couldn’t be prouder of you. Really truly.”

You moved your head to look up at him, a glimmer of hope in his eyes that he was breaking through to you.

“Just didn’t feel good enough today to eat.” You swallowed the lump back in your throat.

“That’s okay if you didn’t eat, but I won’t let you a second more of today thinking you aren’t good enough because you are worth so much more than that. You are worth the stars and more. I love you more and more every day and i’m proud to have you mine.” His words were the most comforting you’d heard yet.

“Stars?” You questioned for some silly reason.

“And moons and planets and galaxies. I wish you could see that, baby.” He kissed you on your forehead again, letting his lips linger a little longer this time. “You don’t have to feel bad or apologise for today, because I know you’ll love yourself tomorrow.”

“How?”

“Because you’re stronger than you know. Today isn’t defeat, it’s just a pause for what tomorrow is going to be.” He hugged you tighter, squishing you to make you feel his love.

“And what is tomorrow going to be?”

“Better.”

And that was exactly it. Tomorrow didn’t have to be perfect, and today didn’t have to either, just as long as it was better. Not best; better. It was all about small steps and learning that it’s not all about leaps of faith. It was about learning to love yourself, by yourself. It was about being okay with the bad days, because you know you’ll have fucking amazing days to make up for it. It’s just about making those days that bit more amazing - that bit better.

[dazais-guardian-angel]

☕️+ what things do you wish they did with descole (because I am weak and he’s my fave)

Apologies for the late reply to this; tbh I almost didn’t want to answer it, cause I feel like nothing I’ll say will be something others haven’t already discussed (especially since I just saw you asked someone else this same question), and also I’ve only ever played the prequels once back when they first came out and I haven’t reached them again in my replay yet, so I’m not fresh on everything done with his character and all the Azran/Targent stuff. But nonetheless:

In general, obviously, I wish Desmole’s character “arc” if you can even call it that as it is now + plot twists/identity had been much more fleshed out from the get-go and consistent with who they ultimately made him be, that is, Hershel’s brother and someone who never should have legitimately wanted to hurt him or people close to him. While I think the worst of this really only comes out in Eternal Diva, where he literally tries to swordfight Hershel to death and kill Luke on one occasion cause he goes insane once Hershel out-puzzles him, there really just should have been more nuance to him in the first two entries especially (and in Miracle Mask too of course, but he’s barely in that game so) where he shows some level of frustration and hesitance to go up against Hershel and his crew, even if he still does so because he absolutely has to carry out his revenge plan. Just SIGNS that there’s more to this guy than just a walking one-dimensional mysterious deadly flamboyant badass, beyond just Hershel going “hm he feels familiar”, like no of course that’s not near enough. Even if Desmole’s true identity still wasn’t going to be revealed until Azran Legacy, there still needed to be hints, breaks in his facade/character, hesitation, signs of remorse, even if some of these hints are not outright foreshadowing to a familial relationship/desire for revenge. He could still lose it in Eternal Diva, but just make it seem more desperate and broken, and less kill-crazy. Give him moments of humanization, show that Descole can be kind, such as around Melina or Nina; what I honestly wanted to see was him having interactions around girls other than Aurora where his fatherly nature might show (not that him and Aurora aren’t great, I just wanted more); he had to have spent a lot of time around Melina while making the Detragan, and the potential for their relationship while she was dying is so much. Hershel should have had more moments of familiarity, and thinking about him when he’s not around, trying to figure him out, demanding to know who he is because he feels like he needs to know for some reason he can’t describe, and Descole’s answers/non-answers are extremely telling/bitter/curious/thought-provoking. And Descole should imo have had a scene to himself at the end of every entry pre-Azran Legacy where it’s increasingly obvious this guy has Angst(tm) and some beef with Hershel that seems personal and not just to do with getting in the way of his plots, along with all the earlier hints obviously (iirc he had a final scene at the end of Last Spector but it was nothing more than showing “hey we’re not done with this guy!!”, so that definitely should have had more to it; at the end of Eternal Diva I REALLY wanted to see how he survived his fall, probably with Raymond saving him, cue more ~mysterious reactions to Hershel~ as he thinks on how Hershel cried out his name as he was falling despite the fact that they were enemies, etc; and then the one at the end of Miracle Mask is okay I guess, but I still wanted more to it, more, idk signs of regret or remorse or sadness from him before he goes after Bronev, and not just “grrrrrr finally my revenge is close I’mma take you down all I have is angerrRRRRR” also for him to not look so damn stupid when all Bronev has to do is knee him to take him down, like this is DESCOLE, THE KING OF BADASS, THAT ENDING IS SO PITIFUL; WE DIDN’T NEED THAT FOR A FAKEOUT UNMASKING SCENE THAT LEADS NOWHERE).

tl;dr, Desmole’s story being planned from the very beginning would have made it possible for the writers to foreshadow and develop him properly before you finally see him as Desmond, and make you attached to and interested in him much more than just as a cool badass you kinda wonder the identity of but mostly just enjoy watching be badass and evil. The PL series had never had an overarching villain in the main trilogy aside from Don Paolo, who was more of a comic relief villain who they could afford to not make up his beef with/connection to Hershel until the final game because it was a very insignificant reason in the grand scheme of things, and Don Paolo just..... wasn’t that integral to the plots of that trilogy, he was more of a bonus background villain not meant to be taken seriously or have any true emotional impact. But then you have Descole introduced as the key threat over the majority of the prequel series (you think it’s the Masked Gentleman this time, but no lol, it’s still Descole!!), and needless to say, “actually the protagonist’s long-lost brother trying to get revenge on their corrupt father, both of which are involved in an ancient civilization that ruined all their lives in multiple ways” is a biiiiiiit more important than... “jealous dead girlfriend rival” lol. And so there’s a jarring disconnect between pre-Miracle Mask Descole and post-Miracle Mask Descole, because the Azran aren’t even a thing until Miracle Mask at ALL, and so in Last Spector and Eternal Diva Descole just seems like this mad scientist with a dramatic flair and nothing more, who mayyyyyyyy be searching for eternal life? Since that seems to be the running theme with the golden garden and ambrosia? But even then literally nothing is revealed about him in that game and movie so who knows (and unrelated but it seems like those two places have literally no connection to the Azran aside from an offhanded mention of them in Miracle Mask? idk man); the point I’m taking way too long to make here is that it’s very clear the writers had no endgame plan for him until Miracle Mask at the earliest, and even then I wonder how much of it was completely hashed out (considering the... sort of mess that Azran Legacy is, I almost wonder if most of it was literally not decided on until then). My guess is that Descole was super popular after Last Spector so they decided to bring him back (his final scene in that game could have just been to show that he survived and was still “out there somewhere”, whether or not he came back next entry), but then realized they didn’t have a backstory or identity for him so they had to think up something way too late; I can’t confirm this though of course.

Then you get to Azran Legacy, and honestly, despite how bizarre and weirdly unimportant and filler-ish 90% of this game’s plot feels, I love the inherent idea of Descole finally coming to Hershel as himself. Hershel always shows up and gets in his way? Fine, he’ll come to him. He always sees through his disguises? Fine, he’ll come to him in the best disguise he has: himself. Ask him for his help in a mission his curiosity won’t let him refuse. Because then, of course, even though Desmond is doing this to further and finish his plot, and use them as tools, essentially, there’s the wonderfully painful obvious second reason for why he chooses to do things this way, and that is he wants to spend time with his brother, whether or not he consciously realizes this. This way, Desmond can be himself, he doesn’t have to hide his appearance or (most) intentions and can freely express a lot of his regular personality while still working towards his ultimate goal, but at the exact same time there’s so much he can’t show, that he can’t reveal or let himself do, and this has to be a hundred times harder than when he’s posing as Descole because now he’s friends with Hershel and the others, and a part of him must want so desperately to just stay with them forever as he spends more and more time with them and grows more attached to them, (again, no matter how much he may realize this). But this is where his “arc” continues to fall flat in that aside from one or two hints towards his daughter and having a brother, there is literally no depth in Desmond’s behavior in Azran Legacy pre-Descole/brother reveal, just like in all the entries before it. He should have shown small signs here and there of something being “off” with him, of sadness, of hesitation, of trauma and mental instability; strange things said to Hershel alone that makes him and the player start wondering things, just like with Descole. Everyone immediately goes, upon seeing Desmond for more than five minutes, “oh that’s Descole obviously” (plus Raymond is just... there lol), but it’s not for the right reasons; there’s nothing wrong with a predictable plot twist, but there needs to be some kind of hints towards it to make you emotionally invested in what you realize is coming, because you’re waiting for it and you know it will hurt but you just don’t know when and how it will happen; not that you guess it for no other reason than “well there’s this new character who isn’t an existing friend of Layton’s and everything is suspiciously calm and we’re 90% of the way through this and Descole has yet to show himself; it’s probably him”. For the record, I actually think Miracle Mask does its predictable plot twist a lot better, even if that game still has issues; I see a lot of people complain about how predictable Randall being the masked gentleman is, and it is, but honestly? The flashback plot mechanic in that game is EXTREMELY effective in 1) making it VERY clear who the masked gentleman is very early on, like they’re not trying to hide it in any way, but also 2) punching you in the gut to maximum effect when you get to the end of the flashbacks and pair it with the present-day plot. Like, they could have just told the player in dialogue/infodumps throughout the game who Randall was and what his connection to Hershel, Angela and Henry was, like Desmond does to Hershel near the end of Azran Legacy, but that would have been tedious and boring and the player wouldn’t care near as much, and the game wouldn’t have been long enough. Instead, you see it firsthand, you experience it with Hershel, and although I’m frustrated at how little is done with masked gentleman!Randall and showing connections/hints to who he used to be (look, my exact problems with Descole) and making Hershel more involved with him at the end, which would have been the icing on the angst cake, the entire flashback half of that game honestly left a huge impact on me and I think that’s why I spend so much time talking about/getting emotional about Miracle Mask despite always saying that Diabolical Box is my favorite, because getting to know Randall and see that friendship and see how it ended just makes it all hit so much harder, as flashbacks should do. The writers knew it would be obvious who the masked gentleman is and they leaned into that, it was a very deliberate choice, what the entire game revolved around, because the point wasn’t that it was unpredictable, but that you would feel for that character and it would hurt so much more. And while I don’t necessarily think Azran Legacy needed full-on flashback gameplay segments for Desmond like Miracle Mask had, I think having vague flashbacks every once in a while throughout that game, vague enough to not directly tell you it’s him or naming/showing Hershel/Theodore much but clear enough that you can reasonably guess it is Desmond, would have done a world of difference, along with all the little behavioral/dialogue hints I mentioned. Similar to the diary entries in Diabolical Box, or if anyone’s ever played Super Paper Mario, the flashbacks in that game after every chapter about an unknown person that it becomes increasingly obvious as you play through the game is the main villain. I just.... really, really wish, out of all the prequel entries, Azran Legacy gave Desmond so much more emotional depth and resonance once we finally see him as Desmond instead of Descole, so many more scenes with Hershel, and to a lesser extent the others, so much more development of his character, so much more of an emphasis put on his prior family and how much he’s hurting and caring and yet at the same time refuses to give up his revenge; all of this, no matter how obvious it made his identity as both Descole and as Hershel’s brother. The brother plot twist, too, feels slightly lame and overdone and out of nowhere, but honest to god I wouldn’t fucking care at all if they just foreshadowed it properly and made it so painfully obvious how much Descole/Desmond wants to be with Hershel and this family and how much it kills him to turn on them all again at the end of Azran Legacy even if he still goes through with it, and how much he regrets everything as he lays dying in Hershel’s arms, but we get none of that goddammitLevel5whydoyoudeprivemeofsomuch-

*ahem* apparently I still had a lot to say. i just wanted so much more for him; he’s SUCH a tragic character... the stupid wannabe phantom of the opera bread man still makes me cry, despite everything, because i am trash. Oh yeah and he should have held Aurora in his arms as she died. And Azran Legacy should have ended post-credits with Hershel opening his door with his hat off (to show that this is after Unwound Future), his eyes widening, then it shows the bottom half of the person’s face, just enough to see the bread hair tips, and the slight sad smile, and then cut to black. level-5 just hire the PL fandom to make the Desmond spinoff game pls

[katorainwonderland]

Dance For You

Prompt: Hey babe! I adore your blog, and I feel like you can execute this request well :) can I have a black reader/Sam one-shot where it's sam's birthday so the reader dances for him to "dance for you" by Beyoncé and smut ensues? Thanks!! Rating: Mature/Explicit Pairing: Sam Winchester/Reader Word Count: 1,985 Warning: Slight daddy!kink, rough sex, Sam has a dirty mouth lol Author's Note: Hey, all, its been almost 5 years since I’ve posted any fics on here and tumblr has gone through so many changes but the people who still love fanfics are still here with me and I appreciate all the reblogs and likes and loves that I’ve gotten on my old fics. Idk if the person who requested this is still following me but hon, I am so sorry for taking so many years for this, life has been crazy, I’m now a 27 year old with back problems and all types of issues lol but I hope you can forgive the delay! I love you all and hope you enjoy this, sorry, no beta, enjoy the grammatical errors lol!

P.S.: If tumblr takes this down, i’ll post it somewhere else.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Charlie, I feel ridiculous.” You grumbled, glancing at yourself in the mirror at the lingerie.

“But you look fucking sexy.” She reassured.

You grunted in disbelief as Charlie tried to fix the one side of your hair that wasn’t trying to cooperate.

“Its just… I’ve never done anything like this for him and what if I fuck it up?!”

“Look, I can guarantee that Sam will love his birthday present, he’s been away for weeks and I’m sure he’s missing you, and even if you do fuck up, Sam won’t care. You know how he is.”

Yeah, you did. Sam was the most caring, understanding person you had the honor of being with.

“You’re going to have to turn the heat up on that if you’re gonna get it straight enough.”

“Why couldn’t we just leave your hair the way it was? You know Sam loves your natural hair.” She asked turning the dial to ten.

“I wanted to do something different and you had to do it because you know I’m not good at using the flat irons. I mean, I could have braided it but that would have taken longer to do and we’re on a time limit.” You rambled nervously trying to distract yourself from the knots your stomach was twisting itself in.

“Hey, it’s okay, calm down and just take some deep breaths, you tried out all your moves on me first and honestly you were sexy. So, just listen to the beat of the song, feel it and don’t forget to breathe.” The red head finished up just as you got a text from Sam.

‘Just 20 minutes away.’

'Good, I’m waiting for you in the bedroom; )’

'I can’t wait to see you, mind if I shower first?’

'Not at all, take your time.’ 

'Oh, and tell Dean he may not want to stick around tonight.’

Charlie began packing up her things, and you walked her to her car in the garage, the heels you were wearing clicked as you walked, echoing off the walls of the bunker and oddly calming you.

“You look hot, ok, you’ll do fine. Plus you’ll have some mind blowing sex, I’m sure of it.” She said giving you a tight hug before getting in her car and driving off, leaving you standing there.

You took a deep breath before hurrying back to the bedroom, you slipped your robe on and set everything up, the music would be ready to play at the press of a button, the light was off and you had more than a few candles lighting the space, and you were all dressed and ready.

You heard Sam walk past the room a few minutes later heading straight for the showers and you sat patiently, albeit nervously, on the edge of the bed.

'Stop it!’ You thought as you stretched and loosened yourself up.

'Should have drank some alcohol.’

You got up from the bed and sat in the chair you had set in the room for the lap dance. Crossing one leg over the other you looked like the epitome of confidence and you decided that you could do this!

You gave yourself an internal pep talk and by the time you heard Sam’s feet pit pat down the hall you were ready.

He opened the door and his eyes quickly landed on you, your heart jumped in your chest but you kept your calm and smiled. You were happy to finally see him and you could tell from his own bright, beautiful smile that he felt the same for you. He was in nothing but some loose cotton sweat pants and you knew that he had nothing else on but that. Sam usually didn't feel the need for underwear unless it was necessary. 

He let his bag fall to the floor as you stood, he made his way over to you and took you into his arms. His lips were on yours in no time, your arms wrapped around his neck and damn it was tempting to just forget about the lap dance and just let him take you on the bed, but no, it was his birthday and he was getting his present.

“Wait.” You spoke breathlessly, pulling back from the kiss.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, those hazel eyes looking at you with worry as if he had done something wrong.

“Nothing,” You got out of his arms and directed him to the chair. “I have a surprise for you,”

“Didn’t think I forgot that it’s your birthday, did you?” You smirk as he sits down. “No touching, okay Sammy.” You give him a wink as you make your way over to start the music.

Just as the music begins you untie your robe, letting it fall off your body to reveal the lingerie and you notice Sam’s eyes go wide as he takes you in.

I just wanna show you how much I appreciate you

Wanna show you how much I'm dedicated to you

Wanna show you how much I will forever be true

You started slow, giving yourself innocent touches, starting along you thighs, then as the song went on your touches got bolder.

Your hands lifted the lace babydoll to reveal the skimpy lace panties underneath and you watched as Sam bit his lip. You took slow steps towards him, trying to be as graceful as you could while dancing. You stood in front of him circling your hips seductively, your hands sliding up and touching your breasts before ascending more and running through your hair playfully messing it up and making him smile, which, in turn made you smile.

Loving you is really all that's on my mind

And I can't help but to think about it day and night

I wanna make that body rock

Sit back and watch

You pushed him back into the chair as you straddled his legs.

Tonight I'm gonna dance for you, oh-oh

Tonight I'm gonna dance for you, oh-oh

Tonight I'm gonna put my body on your body

Boy I like it when you watch me, ah

Tonight it's going down

You began to grind down on him and you were surprised to feel that he was already hard but you knew you could get him harder and ready to burst.

You climbed off him and turned away from him, bending over to give him a good view of your ass and you heard him groan.

“Fuck, ______.” 

As the chorus ended you stood, turned back to him then slid to your knees in front of him. You reached your hand up and it landed on his tattoo before travelling down his toned midsection. You teased him as you stopped right before touching his length, which strained against the pants.

You giggled and stood once again turning away from him, you straddled his legs again but this time you ground your ass back onto him. 

You were surprised that he was doing so well with the no touching direction you gave him, so you took his arms and wrapped them around your waist as you leaned your back against his chest then arch against him.

You were about to get off him again but his arms refused to move, you laughed as he kissed your neck.

“Sam, I have to finish.” You whispered. 

“Shit, ______, I can't let you, you’re so fucking hot babe, I'm going to cream my pants like a 13 year old if you continue.”

“Well, what are you going to do about it?” You asked rubbing your ass against him again making him moan in your ear.

God, hearing him moan like that had your pussy throbbing for attention. 

He suddenly got up, picking you up with him and you squealed in surprise at the sudden movement.

“Sam, let me down!” You laughed

He did as you asked only to turn you to him and press his lips to yours. One of his hands went under your babydoll to cup your wet sex. You both moaned in unison, hearts pounding in excitement.

“On the bed.” You sighed out the command when your lips broke apart and the hazel eyed hunter did as you told him happily. Laying back on the bed, his large body taking up most of it, his eyes fixated on you.

You climbed over top of him connecting your lips again, the music had turned off and all you could hear was the smacking of your lips and heavy breathing. He couldn’t keep his hands off of you and somehow he ended up getting the babydoll off of you with ease, leaving you in your panties and heels. 

“Sam.” You moaned and the next thing you know you’re underneath him, his sweatpants had lowered on his hips and he pulled them down more to reveal his thick dick, your pussy throbbed with need as he slid the panties to the side and ran his fingers over your wetness to check and see if you were ready to take him.

You had been ready, ever since he walked in the room you were wet with the need for him.

“You already ready for me baby?” He said, voice thick with lust

“Yes, daddy, always.” You breathlessly answered

He gripped his length and lined it up with your opening, panties still slid to the side of your lips, and now that you thought about it you should have gotten crotch less ones. Next time.

He slowly slid himself into your heat and groaned as your pussy gripped at his cock. Your eyes closed at the feeling of him stretching your walls just right and there was no hesitation as he seated himself in you to start thrusting. The pace was fast and needy, you both had been waiting entirely too long for this and now was not the time to go slow.

His hands traveled all over you, lighting your body on fire, and all you could do was hold on to him, the bed, the pillows for dear life as he pounded into you. You could feel your end coming and just as you were about to come Sam grabbed you and flipped you over onto your stomach, barely exiting you but with that first thrust from this different angle you came with a scream, your body shaking from the force of your orgasm. You were inching off his dick but he wasn’t allowing that.

“No, where you going, stop running away from this dick.” He slapped your ass as he gave another thrust, making you moan deeply.

“Fuck, Sam.” He knew how much you loved how filthy his words got when you were having sex.

His hand grabbed your waist and pulled you back onto his dick, his other hand coming up to grab your hair, your body perfectly arched for the deepest penetration. Sam loved this position, he loved seeing your ass bounce on him and seeing him disappear into your moist heat.

“Shit, baby, I’m about to cum. Where do you want me to cum, huh, babygirl?”

“Inside me, Sam, damn, please cum in me.” You sounded so worn and ravaged and you couldn’t stop the second orgasm that racked through you.

With a few more thrust he was cuming inside you, his grunts so animalistic and raw. He emptied himself into you and before he laid next to you he kissed up your back to your neck and whispered in your ear.

“Thank you, babe, this was the best birthday present.”

“And it’s not over, I made you a cake.” You laughed as he laid down and pulled you to him, it was the that you had just realized you still had the heels on.

“Don’t take them off, I like them and were going again, maybe I can eat the cake off you.” He smirked 

“Yes, sir.” You sighed happily as you cuddled up to him.

[confusedinfj]

Story Writing Tips

@realentj gave me some writing tips I've been searching for my whole life. And since I never found them, I decided to articulate them for other people who - like me - are hacking their writing by following vague writing advice. Hopefully this helps at least one person 😊

Also, I'm not saying the examples I've given are good. I'm just trying to demonstrate mild improvement 😂

Common Advice Evils

Write what you know = vague. Write SOMETHING you know. Like emotions and feelings of the characters - that's the reason we can read Sci Fi and fantasy.

Show, don't tell = pages of wasted space. Maybe your character is a hypochondriac who can tell their heart is burning as tears run down their face, maybe they're an emotionally unaware person who just goes 'I was sad - idk why'. Say it like the character would.

More dialogue! = no. Dialogue is boring. More thoughts, thoughts about what people are saying. More thoughts than dialogue. NO: 'hi' 'how's it going?' 'good thanks, you?'. YES: 'hi.' She seemed flat today. I wondered why. 'How's it going?' Maybe she'd mention what was wrong.

Set the scene = too many pointless descriptions. Give us the character's thoughts - if they don't notice anything, don't mention it. NO: I walked into the big room. The walls were red, there were three chandeliers, the floor was shiny, there were people everywhere. The room was hot, there were 15 candles... ' YES: I walked into the room, immediately struck by the size. There were chandeliers on the roof, and I stood there, staring at them.

Avoid writing in the first person = terrible advice. I personally find writing in the first person easy - it helps me know what is and isn't important to include.

Keep it simple = good advice. Overcomlicating your plot will bore the reader. You can have a complicated plot, but you're gonna have to make it SEEM simple.

Let your character suffer = good, but don't make them suffer for the sake of it. Suffering looks different for everyone, there's a lot of wiggle room here. It could be as simple as offending a friend for a few days.

Just write = good advice! It doesn't need to be perfect, I needs to be done.

My tips

Write scenes like a movie. This way you'll have less pointless stuff, and something will always be happening for a reason.

Write images, not ideas. My brain seems to work like Brooklyn Nine-Nine or Scrubs, with all the cut scenes. Let your character think the same way if it's right! So instead of: I thought about standing up on the table, in the middle of the room, and screaming. Everyone would probably stare at me if I did that. Try: I pictured myself standing on the table in the middle of the room, screaming, everyone staring at me.

Format things well. It makes it easier to read. If you press tab on a new line it gives it professional looking indents, and it's much easier to read.

Get good at punctuation. This allows you to get the sound of real speech across while still being readable. So instead of: They were on the left and the right they were everywhere. Try: They were left, right - everywhere!

Don't use semicolons. You're probably not using them correctly, and they look obnoxious anyway. Use dashes instead. They're harder to misuse, and they look much more conversational.

Don't try. Just be honest. Writers who try tend to get bogged down in pointless metaphors and needless imagery. Just write.

Let the deeper meaning appear. Don't force it. If you sit down to write a story about x, y, and z you'll probably bore yourself to death.

Write about people. People like people. Even if you have the coolest plot in the world, no one will read it without people. All the best books almost sound boring when you describe them - they're just about people.

Thoughts and feelings. Not descriptions and dialogue. This is what people read stories for, try to get them right. So while you can do: She had blue eyes, blonde hair, and a blue dress. She had a small face. I was a little scared of her. This tells us more about your character: She had blue eyes - that was the first thing I noticed about her. They felt cold, so I looked away. It describes less, but ways more about the thoughts and feelings of the character.

Be honest. Pls don't sit down and try to skip straight to being Tolkien or Keats. Your writing will sound so forced and inflated.... Just be honest when you write.

Write casually. This is a good way to learn to write well, because you won't be distracted trying to sound smart.

Cut words. Any word you can cut, cut it. Pronouns, conjunctions, phrases that could be turned into one word.... Cut 'em. So instead of writing: He was running after me, and I needed to escape. I ran away quickly, breathing heavily. I didn't know where to go. Try: He ran after me - I needed to escape. Running, breathing heavily - I didn't know where to turn.

CONSISTENT CHARACTERS. Maybe it's totally believable your uptight character suddenly wants to do drugs - but you better make sure it is. Don't make your characters do things for the sake of it. If you want your uptight character to do drugs but can't think of a reason why they would, be more creative - maybe it could be an accident? People hate inconsistent characters, and saying 'they're not inconsistent because they're my characters' is just lazy. My biggest pet peeve: Characters ending up together when they really wouldn't. Don't do it.

Say it how the character would. This means you CAN tell, you don't ways have to show! You can totally just write: it was a big house. Didn't think much of the colour though.

Point out things the character cares about. Don't bother describing everything in the house if the character doesn't think it's important. Your character can walk into a mansion and literally be like: x-box. That's all I saw.

Explain your character's feelings. Sometimes having them cry and say they're sad isn't enough. If you do this well, the reader should feel something too. So instead of just: She was upset with me, so I began crying. I was sorry to let her down. You could try: I'd let her down - she was so upset, she was crying, all because of me. I began to cry too, angry that I couldn't be better, stronger. Obvs don't overdo it 😂

Let your character's thoughts ramble. You can even let them cut themselves off mid sentence. Instead of: I tried to figure it out. Was it possible that she flew? No, that seemed to be taking things a little too far. Try: I mean, I suppose it was possible that - no. No, that was a little too far.

Don't over explain things. Say it the simplest, most obvious way and move on. You can always fix it later if you have to. The best writing is simple and honest.

Write down stuff that feels embarrassing and hurts. I don't usually keep that stuff in its first form, but I do keep the essence. It's helpful to see it written down and realise what you're going for.

Let your character miss things. This works particularly well in first person. It means you don't have to explain or describe every single thing, it's very relieving.

Find your voice. Your character's voice that is. You don't need your voice, you need to hear your character. I like to pick a person and write as if they're talking. They can even have multiple voices, like a lot of people have when they're aeghong or talking to themself. If you can hear your character's voice, it will be harder to write them doing something they would never do - you just won't be able to see it.

Have fun! Write things you think are fun - play around with your writing.

Love your story. Even if you don't like the way you've done it, love the story. Learn to separate the story from the actual writing. That way you'll be motivated to go back and fix it later.

Take advice. If you can find it, and it can be hard to come by. Try out anything suggested, you never know what might work!

Ignore the haters. That is, people who insult you and your writing without giving any tips. They're just mean. So many famous authors weren't published until at least 35. Writing is a skill, keep working on it!

Bonus tip: Don't kill characters for the sake of it. It's annoying. Character death should have a point. Yes, that point can be death can seem pointles, but that point doesn't belong in every story, and it shouldn't be repeated multiple times. Then you just look like a psycho and you'll annoy the reader. Just - don't do anything to your characters for the sake of it. Forced tribulation is annoying to the reader.

Bonus bonus tip: pls don't write a story that hinges on a basic miscommunication. If it can be fixed in two minutes in a conversation, it's probably a cliche... Definitely overused in films!

[starry-bi-sky]

Malevolent Au

It’s not complete, but on the Felinette Discord we made an au based off the song ‘Queen of Mean’!

@unmaskedagain idk if this’ll help you get ideas, since I found your fic after I made the au, but I hope you like it anyways!

Me - Black, Bee - Orange, Lefty - Blue

Okay but guys

A modified version of ‘Queen Of Mean’ as an akumanette

Idk if this has a bittersweet ending or a bad ending but either way it’s salty and not ending in the class’s favor

Her akuma item would probably be her ribbons because I don’t want that for tikki

I’m thinking that Akumanette has an outfit that looks like a suit but there’s a skirt-tail type thing that ends at her ankles. Idk how to explain it other than it’s fancy but practical

It’s black and red

There’s black paint on her face that serves as the mask and she has her hair in a braided ponytail and she has a circlet with black framing and a red gem in the center

She’s terrifying and one of the more fashionable akumas

I don’t have the story fully fleshed out but smth happens that Lila blames Marinette for and Alya, when she’s yelling at Marinette, calls her the ‘Queen of Mean’ and Marinette, tired of literally everything just says ‘if that’s what you think, then fine’ in this really cold tone before storming off

Maybe she goes to the theater room or something, she just goes to an empty classroom to rant

She’s too exhausted to fight back the akuma and maybe Tiki says ‘you deserve a break, it’s not healthy to keep all these emotions bottled up, I know you won’t do anything bad’ but just to be safe Marinette takes out the earring before the akuma gets close so it possesses the ribbons instead

Akumanette (who I will be calling Malevolent for the time being) manages to get CN’s ring and the other miraculi too, but instead of going to Hawkmoth she goes to her room to hide them before going on the hunt for Hawkmoth because she needs his miraculous too

I have no doubt that she toys with them, picking them off one by one

Then gets Hawkmoth in a big spectacular moment

Or maybe she's made copies of the miraculous for cosplay and goes to meet him with those, the old switcheroo and she takes him out while hes distracted

Could be interesting if, as part of her power, she could corrupt the miraculouses and give them to the people who upset/offended her. But instead of giving them powers, they were warped to instead punish the wearer in a way that fits the miraculous's original intent. Kinda a reversal on the way she gave out the miraculouses and granted powers before. Like, the Black Cat Miraculous, it causes the person to relive their most painful memories as the element of destruction, and the fox one forces the wearer to tell the truth no matter what, or traps them in an illusion or something.

And maybe how she goes to a new school. And meeting the others was maybe when shes revealed as the akuma she claims shes had enough of her classmates shit and exposes what they did to her live on tv and her parents transfer her because of all the stress they put her under. She's never become an akuma before. And just because of one lying little brat, their daughter has become one of the strongest akumas they've ever seen

And she gives the miraculi back to Fu apologizing out her butt for everything...but he just lets her keep the earrings, fearing that something grander may be at scale...but he refuses to give the ring back to Adrien because had he been by Mari's side, they wouldve been able to prevent the akuma and help Mari over come Lie-la.

And now Fu chooses a new Black Cat for Mari....

I would assume that the peacock is still lost....maybe Adri could find it amd becomes determined to get both his ring and. "His" lady back from that Fake Cat

And maybe before the ring gets taken Adrien has no idea who the akuma is because Marinette returns to class all normal if just closed off and even after he doesn’t know until it’s revealed to everyone. The whole of Paris is wondering where tf LB is everyone Malevolent shows her face

Or she could claim that she took the earrings before Ladybug even had a chance~

So the whole of Paris is rightly terrified

And the QK kids are slightly cautious but they see the nerd trip and get flustered then they just decide that she's totally fine to hang out with

Ooh why would they be cautious?

The QK would totally be the ones to find out Marinette’s the akuma first and they’re all really concerned for their friend because she’s been an akuma for MONTHS now and what happened that made her such a powerful akuma?

But if she just transformed back and went to the new school, wouldnt u be cautious too

Like

ThTS THE GIRL WHO BROUGHT PARIS TO ITS KNEES TO BEG FOR MERCY

and she chose mercy

Imagine...what it would take to bring her, the strongest akuma to kill all of Paris

(I should probably point out that I’m still going off the idea that Marinette is still Malevolent when she goes to her new school, feel free to ask for clarification if you’re still confused)

“Be wary of the quiet ones, the sweet ones, the kind ones, because they’re the ones with the saddest smiles, the darkest pasts. They’re the ones you watch out, for even demons run when good men go to war.”

Hawkmoth, once he realizes that Malevolent is on the prowl for him, tries to call back the akuma, but because of Marinette’s sheer stubborn will power and the help of Nooroo he can’t do it

So he’s basically useless as Malevolent numbers his days as a super villain

Maybe Malevolent only comes out at night. She has less chance of being seen, less chance of being caught

Except that just makes her 10x more terrifying because in the daylight she’s scary enough as it is, but at night the shadows highlight only half of her face and it makes her harder to see

Maybe Malevolent decides to torment her classmates first before picking off the heroes, so perhaps by the time she’s at her new school and prowling at night she’s picking off the heroes one by one

Maybe she does it slowly instead of night by night

And like the first half is her taking the heroes and Hawk down while the other half if her recovering and learning about the new villain and her new allies

She fucking stalks her classmates, planting incriminating evidence. Maybe for Lie-la she records the girl bragging about her lies and how much shes dragged Mari through the mud while shes at home, then the next morning a video is released on the Ladyblog....

The class is rightly scared out of their pants because there’s an akuma after them but they don’t know who and she hasn’t been caught yet

LB is gone and Malevolent, even in the daylight, is hard to see so other than the major bad luck and her first debut there’s almost no trace of her

Her debut was video taped so Paris knows that there’s an akuma on the loose but she’s so quiet that it leaves everyone on edge

Maybe while Malevolent is hunting Hawkmoth she stops other villains like low level (and high profile) criminals and outs corrupt politicians and the likes

And they've obviously taken poor Mari because Mari could never get akumatized! Shes too good!

Oooh!! Going back on the ‘Mari can change out of villain form’ maybe the only proof she’s Malevolent in her civilian form is that her ribbons are a darker red than they should

And poor Mari makes herself smaller and scared hah, as if. These idiots dont know whats gonna hit them.... she looks...terrified~

Her parents try and reassure her that the akuma will be caught and Mari feels bad for tricking them but at the same time she’s still angry so that anger outweighs the guilt

Marinette is paler than she was before akumatization and maybe her eyes are a bit more dull

Or perhaps just a smidge too bright

It’s not noticeable, but there’s just something.. off about her eyes

They look... almost brighter than they should be

Maybe too attentive

Too... analytical

But then the look is gone and perhaps you were just imagining it?

That seems likely

The QK, when they first meet Marinette, adopt her immediately because she’s so pale and small and she looks so tired

And at first Marinette is wary but after Claude trips and falls flat on his face trying to cheer her up she warms up to them

Then one day someone gets a clear full body shot of Malevolent and while QK are looking at it Marinette approaches them and they start noticing... similarities

Like how her ribbons are the same color as her circlet, or how her eyes hold the same wary attentiveness and are the same bright blue

And maybe they try to deny it

But it’s all there

I’m still trying to figure out how Marinette reveals herself as Malevolent

Perhaps a rude encounter with her classmates? Maybe someone tries attacking her friends (Hawkmoth has resorted to using the peacock miraculous at the point maybe) and she saves them??

When she transforms her ribbons wrap around her in a whirlwind

That’s all we got!! Maybe it’ll be continued on, maybe it won’t, but it was super fun to think up!

[casually-inlove]

aah i agree im vry disappointed in this chapter ! like its good like usual, but its kind of a let down after the last 5 chapters... ht rly exposed himself minutes before, and comedy aside, MGS answered him by ignoring him, and then saying "were not friends, were not as close as you think we are". it must have been hurtful for HT, its basically a rejection of recognizing HT vulnerabilities. and its totally In character for MGS to say this, so im not disappointed by it 1/?

i mean HT lay his heart down for Mo to see and theyve known each other for 15 DAYS, its too soon for anybody and especially for Mo who have mistrust problems to respond in the same way ? so running away and deflecting the declaration is cool, i wasnt excepting a "ill never abandon u!!" lol. but then HT being cool with this rejection and having a slapstick comedy just after doesnt feel right. mb show HT swallowing and being disheartened, and then put his usual facade and only then have comedy 2/?

would have been good, bc we would have known "oh ht is actually hurt by MGS reaction but doesnt know how to say it, so he plays it cool and change the subject bc hes still not at ease with being vulnerable". a realistic situation would have been "ht tried to be vulnerable but it was too soon, too much for mo who rejected him, so it confirmed ht biased thinking that showing vulnerabilities is bad and it will prevent ht to be vulnerable in front of someone in the near future". 3/?

i mean it could have been a nice although sad conclusion for this mini-arc, especially since ht have been grieving (?) his mother just this morning. a little step back, and then smth else happen and cause ht to crack completely but then mo is able to respond present and its a step forward. ok im daydreaming but that would have been climatic lol. instead this..ah i dont know i feel cheated, i know its ox' work but still haha ! like when they do an abrupt change of scene after an emotional page 4/

its a trick ox use often and after 300 chapters it feels old n cheap. when u engage in a emotional scene, u cant just do "oops i change my mind!!" and put slapstick comedy or ignore totally what just happened and dont have a progression. u have to stay on this road : u cant put traumatizing backgrounds and mafia affairs and mature problems (kidnapping, mother being threatening into prostitution,etc) n just.. not stick with it and making ur characters not traumatized by it and just 'lol comedy'.

sry im kind of monopolizing ur askbox lol, i guess im kind of frustrated ! it just the last chapters were so good and it was a while since ox use this cheap trick of not going through an emotional scene that i kind of forgot how terrible they were at handling transition between drama and comedy. theyre a good artist all in all (or i wouldnt be this disappointed!!), but they have this failing in their writing an it drives me nuts each time lmao. haa i hope next chapter will be better...5/5

Hell yeah, DEFINITELY, that sums up my thoughts. Also, you don't have to apologize, it was an interesting read and I can tell that you feel strongly about it. While I can’t say that I’m flat-out disappointed, as I wrote in my original post, I’m definitely feeling lukewarm and indifferent about the recent ch.

OX touched upon a few serious matters a couple of chapters before: namely She Li’s fucked up goading and the way it unsettled He Tian -- unsettled in no joking manner as follows from his reaction. Then we get He Tian swearing to beat up anyone who dares bully Mo, and the whole profound monologue from the previous chapter. Just as you say, He Tian truly laid himself bare there. One could argue that He Tian listed the reasons he was enamoured with Mo, or one could argue that he subtly commented on the milieu he grew up in, or one can even read it as He Tian admitting/reflecting on his flaws out loud. There are many ways to construe this scene, each of them is extremely meaningful. Not to mention it took HT visible effort to say these things out loud.

The problem which both you and I noticed is that OX left this mini-arc/mini-subplot unresolved. Instead, they abruptly switched to comedic relief. Much like you, I wasn’t expecting a big reaction from Mo -- no grand verbal declarations at very least. What I expected was a panel (maybe a close up of Mo’s face as I mentioned in my original post) that indicated he actually HEARD what HT told him, that it gave Mo some food for thought. 

As you mention, Mo getting disconcerted and doing the tsun-tsun escape is fairly in character for him. Still, a panel like this would have been very welcome to emphasize his confusion and to justify him not gracing the other boy with an answer, ignoring HT showing his underbelly (which is something that doesn't come easy for him, as we readers know). Okay, sure, OX handled it differently this chapter -- we get Mo silently running away and blurting out the first comeback he could think of. No problem. It works to show that HT’s words had an effect on him, albeit it’s much less pronounced, than, say, the Aquarium scene -- again one would have to wonder why: HT’s “don’t abandon me” is just as strong, if not stronger, than “I’m afraid you’ll forget me”, so it follows that Mo should have been just as affected.

The problem is the way an emotionally charged moment quickly fizzled out into comedy. As you said, Mo blurting out “we are not friends, we are not familiar enough, so I don’t care what you think (of me)!” SHOULD have hit HT harder. Just minutes before we had HT being genuinely disturbed by the idea of someone looking to intentionally hurt Mo, seeking physical comfort, being disquieted by the idea of getting abandoned and losing someone he likes, confessing that he admires the other boy -- yet when Mo utters yet another curt rejection of sorts, we are not shown HT’s reaction, which, logically, should have been there. 

And all of that emotional build-up is cheapened by an accidental dick slap comedy. 

Indeed, showing HT being hurt (disquieted? deflated?) and then putting on a cool guy mask, and ONLY then switching to a slapstick humour would have been more appropriate. It wouldn’t have taken a big or an overly dramatic scene either -- just, IDK, show HT’s eyes widening, or his throat clicking, or his posture slumping, anything to indicate that Mo’s words affected him -- that the whole thing mattered to him. Otherwise, it leaves a bad taste in one’s mouth: “so Imma confess to the person I like and swear to protect them and beg them to put up with me -- oh! forget anything serious that I said, Imma touch some dick now”. While I don't have an issue with comedy coming into focus again, I do wish it hadn't been this abrupt. Had there been a better transition between these scenes, there wouldn't be this "lol jk" vibe that I’m getting.

So yeah, I, too, feel a little cheated. OX certainly has an issue with drama-comedy transitions, which are sort of hit-and-miss for me. Sometimes they work well to alleviate the grave mood, other times they appear to be out of place. The recent chapter is the latter case. Dangling a possibility of climatic resolution for the subplot and then intentionally subverting it just doesn’t work in favour of the plot here. It cheapened the emotional part and made the comedy feel much less fun for me. Of course, no one says that writing is an easy task. Plenty of mangakas, for instance, work with writers to strengthen their script and plots, so it’s challenging when a single person is responsible for both drawing and planning the story. OX is undoubtedly doing a tremendous job. Still, I wish they wouldn’t stick to using the old trick this monastically because it's becoming a trite writing device and works against them on occasion. It’s totally fine to keep the comic light-hearted yet it’s not good to ignore the needed dramatic development.

[alfred-braginsky]

#35

RusAme + “About the baby…it’s yours.” || AO3 LINK ||This fic was not supposed to be as serious as it turned out. I got a few requests for this prompt and this was under the angst prompts, so this is def angst. This is with my headcanon in mind that nations can have regular children. If they have them, they won’t be a personification or anything like that, they’ll be a regular mortal human. Even if they sleep with other nations and conceive with them the baby born from that will still be human not a nation.

Historical and pregnancy inaccuracies like skjdnsjd idk what tf I’m talking about. I’m getting both information stuff from google and Mad Men so lmao please excuse any inaccuracies.

Warnings: war, mentions of sexual content, brief mention of abortion, scene where someone throws up. Tense political climate and off screen death. 

Feel free to send asks about this headcanon or fic if you have questions. Also Alfred is trans.

+++++

Mass celebrations happened at the end of World War II. The world was no longer on the brink of self-destruction but now transitioned into an age of mutually assured destruction. Whatever ally ship was held between the United States and Soviet Union had fizzled out once the Axis Powers had been defeated and divided.

Alfred and Ivan were content with the ally ship. It gave them the excuse to be in close quarters with one another without arousing any suspicion. Late nights ‘strategizing’ with constant lunches and dinners that often ran late. There was a war happening but to Alfred and Ivan it was merely background noise.

They would start arguing towards the end of an Allies meeting resulting in the meeting ending early and the rest of the nations leaving them all alone in the conference room to hash it out.

As soon as they heard the click of the door sound throughout the room Ivan relaxed the gloved hand that squeezed Alfred’s throat. Their eyes full of feigned annoyance and rage had softened into blissful admiration and need. Alfred was the first to press their lips together in a desperate and heated kiss.  

Ivan lifts Alfred and hoists him onto the massive mahogany conference table, Alfred wraps his legs around Ivan’s waist pulling him closer. They’ll have to be careful this time, last time they broke the table and had to come up with some excuses and bruises to match. Alfred let out an amused huff of air from his nostrils at the memory.

This would be the last time they would see each other for a while. With the war over, and Germany divided, their responsibilities almost tripled with having to rebuild a war-torn Europe. They clung to each other, trying to memorize how the other felt. They couldn’t stay long after they finished, their bosses would wonder and the possibility of them finding them together like this, kept them from lingering.

Alfred left first, to his surprise finding Arthur and Francis having a small chat. Both of their eyes shifted over towards the disheveled looking American. Francis gave Alfred a quick wink, brushing Arthur on the shoulder and left the lobby.

Arthur’s eyes followed Alfred, noticing his hair had a few strands pointing in all different directions and the bruises on his throat that was just barely covered by his collar. There was calculating and judging looking in his emerald eyes with each step Alfred took.

“I would be careful if I were you.” He warned. The words were without malice but still reminded Alfred of when Arthur lightly chastised him for things when he was little.

“I’m not afraid of him, he’s all talk.”

Arthur’s expression didn’t change taking a casual sip of his tea.

“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it.” Alfred didn’t indicate any change in his stance now that he know Arthur knew.

“See ya at the next meeting.”

[text break. Beware mobile readers] 

A few weeks pass and Alfred is weighed down with the stress of the duties of what it took to rebuild after a massive war. It wasn’t his first massive war, but something had changed since the first one took place. He had changed and so had his nation.

Exhaustion and fatigue seeped down into his very core. He was always running off somewhere, always had a meeting to attend to. It was starting to get to him. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, until a sudden wave of nausea crept up on him in the middle of a meeting between those who occupied West Germany.

Alfred stood up abruptly and excused himself rushing off as he felt the bile rise in the back of his throat. He almost doesn’t make it to the bathroom and rushes in and empties the contents of his stomach into the toilet.

[text break. Beware mobile readers] 

A line of drool strung down from his lips as he gasped for breath.  The slow realization happened and hit him harder than that German tank did in ‘44. Shit.

This was the worst time for this. This wasn’t his first rodeo he knew exactly what was going on with his body. However, this was his first time with another nation. He didn’t know what to expect and would be stupid to ask anyone and let them know that he was vulnerable at a time where he was considered a world superpower.

Would this baby represent a state of his? How would that even work since it was half Ivan’s and therefore half of the Soviet Union.

In the middle of his thought process came a knock on the door. His head shot up and he stood up making his way over to the sink and quickly rinsing out his mouth. The knock came again.

“Alfred? Are you alright?” a familiar voice came from the other side of the thick door.

“Yeah.” although not sounding too sure.

His head couldn’t stop from spinning about this happening at the worst time, and with the worst person he could think of. Political tensions were high.

The Soviet Union and the United States were at the brink of war. How would they even go about having this child, let alone rising it? They were far too busy and supposed enemies. The baby would be damned from its birth if Alfred and Ivan had to decided to claim it. He couldn’t put it through that.  

Ivan could never know, not that he ever sees him so he could never tell him. A hand instinctively moves over his abdomen. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what he could do.

He loves Ivan. They will never have a future together, but he longs for a life they could have together if things were different. In another life, this is something that could have been possible. But now, during this arms race, and fighting over West and East Germany, this was something that was never supposed to happen.

“Alfred, let me in.” the voice came again, and against his better judgement, Alfred did.

Arthur stood there, his face pinched with a soft worry, quickly let himself in and locking the door behind him the bathroom big enough for them to fit, but small in size so it wouldn’t be comfortable.

Alfred stood there with a serious look on his face, his typical goofy grin wiped clean off.

“What the hell was that? You can’t just walk out of a meeting like that in front of everyone who matters I can’t belie–”

“Arthur.” Alfred’s voice was firm and heavy, Arthur raised an eyebrow at the seriousness of the situation.

“I’m pregnant.”

Arthur’s eyes widened in surprise, yet still believed his words. Not even Alfred is stupid enough to joke about something like this. The silence didn’t last long.

“Does he know?”

“I just found out.” Alfred knew all the signs at this point, he didn’t need a doctor to tell him what he already knew. It was dangerous to let anyone know. The less people knew the better. Even telling Arthur was a gamble.

“What do you plan to do about it?” Arthur pulled out a cigarette and offered it to Alfred. Alfred shook his head and instead Arthur put it in his own lips and lit it. Smoke filled the room, and smell gave Alfred some comfort.

“I don’t know.” he shrugged.

“Whatever you decide, do it quick and be discreet.” Arthur took a drag and blew it out after a few seconds.  "You’ve been away too long. Stiffen that upper lip and come back to the meeting.“ Arthur clapped Alfred on the shoulder and gave him a reassuring squeeze before exiting.

Alfred was left with more thoughts about what to do. If he should tell Ivan. What he should tell Ivan.

His hand runs over his semi flat abdomen.

Fuck.

—-

Months pass and it was starting to get harder to hide his growing stomach. He got a new bomber jacket a few sizes too big to keep it baggy and hide what was hiding underneath. Only Arthur knew, and the doctor he was paying very well to keep it under wraps.

He hadn’t seen Ivan since their meeting in the conference room. Today they would be meeting in West Germany about how the former country of Prussia was being treated. The Soviet Union would be in attendance as they were the subject of the meeting.

Alfred’s chest tightening and his mouth was dry at the thought of seeing Ivan. There’s no way he wouldn’t notice. Hell, he’s pretty sure every nation he’s encountered knew, but had the information squared away for a time in the future when they could use it.

From the moment Alfred laid eyes on Ivan blue uniform his heart stopped beating and let out a soft huff of air as he felt a kick from his inner walls.

The more time passed on, the less Alfred knew what to do about it. The recognition in Ivan’s face when their eyes met just made everything that much more real.

Alfred averted his gaze and swallowed the lump in his throat and took his seat next to his boss right across from Ivan. Prussia seated next to him looking defeated and Ludwig seated between Alfred and Arthur with a fake confidence.

Ivan trying to catch his eye the entire meeting, but Alfred couldn’t look at him just yet without feeling an immense amount of guilt. To tell him or not. The next time they were scheduled to see each other was in another few months, right around the expected due date. It would be risky.

The meeting ended and they all shook hands on the agreed upon regulations and standards. Really, it was all formality none of them planned on changing anything.

When Alfred and Ivan clasped hands there was a note left between Alfred’s fingers written in Ivan’s handwriting. Ivan gave him a small genuine smile. Alfred smiled back although more nervous than anything.

They left and Alfred excused himself. This goddamn thing made him want to pee every 5 seconds. He closed the door and locked it behind him and opened the note.

'Meet at the apartment’

Ah, yes, the apartment. The apartment they shared with one another in Manhattan. It was empty for most of the year but discreet so that they could meet without anyone knowing what they were up to. Even hotels were too risky these days.

Alfred mingled a bit more with the previous Allied powers and then headed out to meet Ivan at the apartment. His stomach was in knots, his hands shaky.

When he got there, he hoped Ivan wouldn’t already be there, but he was. The man was sitting on the couch with paperwork he had been given earlier, cross legged, hat and jacket removed for extra comfort.

Alfred felt like a stranger walking the lion’s den with a secret hidden from someone he cared for. Ivan smiled when he spotted him and got up to greet him as Alfred shut the door behind him. Alfred’s center of gravity was completely off since he entered the 2nd trimester, walking normally was a bit of a struggle for him and something he hoped no one else noticed.

Ivan slid his hands around Alfred’s hips and pulled him into a kiss. Alfred melted into it, it’s been so long, and he’s been so needy he practically moaned into Ivan’s lips.

He missed him so much. He missed being this close to him. His scent, how his body never seemed to feel warm, his scars that told a story of survival.

"You shouldn’t eat so late, podsolnuk. Although, I suppose there is more of you to hold.” he whispered against the crane of Alfred’s neck. Alfred shuddered at the breath against his throat. He wanted Ivan so badly.

The bubbling anxiety seeped through his entire body the more Ivan explored his body. Alfred moved his hands to Ivan’s and stopped them in their place. Ivan lilted his head in confusion.

“I can’t. I just stopped by.”

“What is wrong? You are not yourself. You are quiet.” Ivan’s voice laced with a soft concern, his fingers moving under Alfred’s chin to have the man look at him. He sees guilt and like he has something to say.

“Nah. Just tired. I really have to go.” Alfred slides out of Ivan’s hold, refuses to look back to see Ivan’s hand stretched out with a look of hurt so blatantly on his face.

He hates his cowardice. He’s supposed to be brave. The fucking hero, but he can’t even tell the man he loves something so important that pertains to him.

—

1948

Alfred had taken bullets to muscle and shrapnel that ripped into flesh. He’s had his organs ruptured, bones shattered, and limbs cut off. None of that compared to the pain that labor brought. He hadn’t told anyone. It had been a few days before he was scheduled to have another meeting with the previous Axis and Allied powers. It wasn’t ideal but at least it was before and not during the meeting.

He didn’t tell Ivan. He couldn’t bring himself to do it. It was too risky. It would make Ivan too vulnerable, an added weakness in a time where war could break out at any moment and could be used against him. It could be used against them both.

During the last stretch of his labor he could barely process anything from the pain and the drugs. A nice Twilight Sleep minus the sleep. Because of his body which was constantly healing and trying to push out any toxins or foreign substances the morphine and scopolamine didn’t do much for him. It blocked out about 45% of the pain but the rest of it. Well, he couldn’t even remember his own name. And he was alone. No support whatsoever. Just like always.

+++

Alfred was so exhausted from the 2 day labor he had passed out almost immediately after the baby was born. He woke up the sound of a soft lullaby in a language he could barely understand in this disorientated state.

'Spi, mladenets moy prekrasnyy, Bayushki-bayu–’

Alfred sat up at the song and familiar voice. He’s heard that velvety voice sing to him like that before, but he can’t quite translate the words in his head; it was too exhausting.

His eyes blinked open as he sat up his stomach deflated. It felt as if something was missing. It always felt like this afterwards. He was always alone, but not this time. Spotting a figure in the corner of the room with his legs crossed and a bundle in his arms as his face held a soft fondness, something he hadn’t seen before almost paternal.

“You’re awake.” he hadn’t noticed the singing had stopped.

“Wish I wasn’t.” The baby was still here. Alfred didn’t know whether to be furious or relieved.

“How are you feeling?”

“What are you doing here?” Alfred averted his gaze from the bundle in Ivan’s arms. He knew once he saw that baby it’ll be all over for him. It was him and Ivan in one human being. One mortal human being.

“You think so little of me. You don’t think I have known? I have been giving you space, but you did not think I would be here for you?” Ivan’s voice had some hurt in it, but nothing to indicate he was angry.

“I didn’t want to tell you. I wouldn’t even be involved if I didn’t have to be.” Alfred let out a forced chuckle.

“I understand. I just…. I wanted to see him before he was sent off.” Ivan’s voice carried a heavy sadness. It was understandable. They all wanted this for themselves.

“We’re not allowed any semblance of a normal life.”

“Da, I know…but we can pretend for just a moment.” For once, it’s Ivan who is the idealistic optimist. The one who clung to hope and believing in the goodness in humanity and the world instead of Alfred.

Ivan stood up and brought the babe to Alfred, Alfred took the bundle into his arms and brought it close to his chest.

“About the baby…it’s yours.”

Ivan cracked a smile as he wrapped an arm around Alfred.

“I would still be here even if he wasn’t.”

“He?”

“Yes. I call him Alexei.”

Alfred chuckled, “You can’t give him a Russian name right now. Plus, his new family will name him, give him a fresh start so he’s not tied down by us.”

Ivan nodded in agreement. “He will live a normal life. He will not be cursed.”

Alfred leaned against Ivan as he watched the baby in his arms sleep. He took in all his features. It would be the last time he would see him.

—-

1971

The Vietnam War was in full swing and Selective Service has decided to draft men who were born between 1944 and 1950. Alfred was just as busy as he was during the last war, and the war before that, and the war before that. It seemed there was always another war to fight, another country to save with democracy.

Ivan was still the enemy. The Soviet Union was the enemy. And Alfred and the United States were enemies to the Soviet Union. This war was messy and complicated. The last war alongside a reluctant Im Yong Soo was a disaster. Stalemate leaving the bitter and metallic taste of blood in his mouth from the soldiers they had thrown into it in the name of stopping communism. It was a pointless fight with too many lives lost to make any kind of statement.  

So how was Vietnam any different? Alfred’s bones ached and his head constantly hurt. Meeting with Ivan has become more and more difficult over the years. He barely sees him. Things were becoming dangerous and it wasn’t worth it. History will settle someday. And they could be together. But not now.

They had sent him down to Vietnam and work along with the new soldiers that had arrived. Everything was wet and hot, constantly sweating as they lived among the dense trees and rivers. It was a beautiful country. Alfred hated to see the scars that war left behind.

He wished he was here under different circumstances. Sitting in the endless fields eating slices of mangos looking up at the vast sky the stars. He’d turn to his side and see a pair of gorgeous and familiar violet eyes.

Ivan.

His daydream was erased by the realities and carnage of war. The sound of muffled bullets that made it past the sunset and resounded throughout the thick jungle.

They were expecting a new company of fresh wide eye soldiers. Soldiers he was in charge of training and making sure they were ready to die for their country whether they were willing or not. Alfred waited in his tent until his Lieutenant popped his head in and informed him of their new boys.

The draft was not something he was fond of. Snatching up young men and sending them to fight without their consent was something that made Alfred sick. If someone wanted to die for war they could, but it shouldn’t be forced upon them, especially in a war like this. He was afraid of another stalemate, another war where both sides lost too much for anything worthwhile.

Alfred got up dog tags rattling with each step as he caught a glimpse the group of 80 soldiers lined up waiting for orders and orientation.

They look younger and younger with each war and the soft spot inside Alfred only breaks more with each baby face he sees.

The oldest seems 22, if that, and the younger ones are 18. Some of them look proud and ready. Most of them looked terrified. No doubt brought here against their will to fuel a cause that didn’t directly involve them.

There’s nothing special about this group. Just another group of boys he has to send off to die. Almost nothing special.

His blood ran cold when he spotted it. He saw a pair of familiar eyes. Violet eyes. He couldn’t breathe. The sandy blond hair that peaked through his army issued green hat.

“What’s your name, soldier?” he tried not to let his voice crack.

“Alex Brooks, sir!” the boy saluted, and stiffened. Brooks. He supposed that’s the family he ended up with.

Alfred wanted to throw up. Alex. The name was too similar to the name Ivan suggested almost 21 years ago.

‘I call him Alexei.’

Fuck, no. He would be this age right about now. Those eyes are unmistakably his father’s. Eyes he hasn’t seen in almost 2 years, but he could recognize them anywhere.

Alfred was silent for a moment and the soldiers looked at him expectantly.

“At ease, Brooks.”

Brooks put his arm down.

“The rest of you, go pack your shit up and get settled!” He shouted and got a resounding 'Yes, sir!’ from the group.

He had the sudden urge to write to Ivan. Alfred didn’t want to know where their child ended up when he gave him away, but Ivan was adamant about keeping tabs. He probably knew and might have pulled some strings to get him into Alfred’s company knowing that once Alfred realized who he was, he would keep him safe.

He couldn’t keep his eyes off the young boy. Seems like that even during this dark situation in history the young man is bouncing around and making quick friends with the soldiers in his company. That bright grin that lit up the entire camp, just like him. He could see the way that he moves and the way that he speaks and his mannerism. It was like seeing himself and Ivan in this whole other person.

But he was also his own person. He had lived a whole life Alfred couldn’t even dream of and it added a flair to his personality. He was a better person than him. A better person than Ivan. This young man could make something with his life after the war. He could live the life that he and Ivan could never hope to have.

This boy is his son. His and Ivan’s flesh and blood. The little bundle that Ivan sang to in his native tongue hoping to instill some semblance of his culture into him. He remembers how soft his head was and the new baby smell that would perpetually be ingrained into his brain.

And here he was. Twenty-one years later in an army green uniform a rifle that looked so out of place. He would have thought the family they sent him to live with would have prioritized education and he would have been in college and been able to avoid the draft. Or maybe there was a patriotism he inherited from him that made him volunteer. Whatever it was, he was here, ready to throw his life away for to spread democracy under the guise of freedom.

War was always the same. And now he’s got a little boy to look after. Damn Ivan. It wasn’t just his boy but the boys of thousands of families. And now he was responsible for their lives.

But he couldn’t afford to think about that now.

He had a war to win.

2019

The world had changed in way Ivan and Alfred never expected. Things between them were better, no secret meetings, no 10-minute fucks where all they wanted to do is stay and hold each other but couldn’t.

They had a house together. They couldn’t live together, their duties required them to live in their own respective countries, but they could spend time together there without fear.

Alfred would wake up in the morning and see Ivan’s sleeping face. They would kiss each other good morning and complain about morning breath. They’d have breakfast together and go on a walk for groceries or the park or wherever the day took them.

Once every six months they would have breakfast at a coffee shop. The shop used to be owned by an older gentleman, but he retired and now it was run by his granddaughter.

The man is there every day with a cup of tea and that day’s newspaper finishing the crossword and cutting out the cartoons.

Alfred and Ivan would grab a booth in the back and ordered some coffee with some of the best pie they’ve ever had. They would have idle chats but would always watch the old man in the corner of their eyes. The old man with kind violet eyes and white hair that was once blond with youth.

They would finish their coffee and pie and the man would bid them farewell. Alfred and Ivan were always prepared for the day when they would come to the shop and he would no longer be there. That was the burden of being nations. It was the curse of immortality. They walk back to their shared home together and dinner was oddly silent on the days they visited the coffee shop.

A few years later they would visit his grave every year on his birthday. They would leave him a bundle of sunflowers.

“I hope he was happy.” Alfred whispered as he leaned against Ivan. That’s all Alfred wanted for him. Vietnam came and went, he found a wife, had a few children and they had a few children. The typical circle of life continues and the man had lived a full life with people who loved and cared for him.

Ivan’s lips curved into a sad smile.

“Da, I think he was.”

[arigatouiris]

out of my league // t.h — 05

Pairing: Tom Holland x Critic! Reader [I use female pronouns]

Warnings: swearing; eventual fluff; angst; hurt/comfort; pining; a little bit of cliche because come on.

A/N: I’m going along with the Mark Hamill thing, just for gags idk. Anyway, as for Aditi; I’m from India and I really don’t see a lot of representation on here, so I decided to add her as a side character. Hope ya’ll like this chapter~  Also, if you want me to add you to the series taglist, just drop a note or comment! ^^

Word count: 3171 

Series Masterlist

 04 | 05 | 06 

It came as a surprise to everyone a day after that when (y/n) decided to stick to the desk. Susannah even offered her another break (but, she was hesitant while doing so and blamed herself as the reason for which (y/n) declined), but (y/n) had made up her mind.

    “But why desk? I thought you hated the desk!” Susannah exclaimed, confused out of her mind.

    “Takes my mind off things. This is a vacation when compared to what I have to do otherwise.” (y/n) said, sheepishly.

    “You love reviewing though.” Bruce mumbled, but no one really paid heed to what he was saying.

    “Ever since Tom Holland made it easier for everyone around here to breathe, you should take that as a sign that you can get back to your normal life, (y/n). Maybe, even send him a thank you—”

    “I’m not sending him any thank you notes, he’s the reason everything began! He can’t create a problem and take credit for solving it.” (y/n) didn’t think she was being harsh.

Not doing this, she reminded herself. Turning on her heel, she headed to the desk she was appointed a few days ago and opened her mail. An exasperated sigh exited her lips when she noticed the odd number of mails, each containing a document for her to copy edit and review.

    She’d be lying if she said she didn’t at all feel thankful that Tom solved the issue with that one Instagram story. First, it took him that long to make it (which meant he went against what his manager said again, and who knows what trouble he got into for doing that?) What trouble can he get into? He’s an actor! (y/n) rolled her eyes as she continued her thoughts. Second, this was all his fault in the first place—considering how Jean Marcel is doing quite well writing crappy scripts for smaller TV shows at the moment. And third, (y/n) had had enough of an actor trying to win her over with his charm. Of course, some part of Tom Holland wanted to say sorry and thought it would work because he’s an actor. And an actor appearing on your doorstep is a big deal, as well! And some part of (y/n) wanted to accept such an apology only because Tom was a celebrity, and this didn’t sit well with her.

I’m out of his league, it had become a mantra now. I will never accept his apology. In the past, (y/n) was known to be someone who used the word ‘never’ a tad bit too much. Whether this aspect of her personality died down with age didn’t phase her at the moment. This was Tom Holland, an actor by profession, and a man who had screwed up otherwise.

    “So, are ya gonna thank the woman who showed you lovely Tom’s story yesterday?” Aditi’s voice appeared out of nowhere.

Rolling her eyes, (y/n) looked up from her desk to see a grinning Indian woman, her shades still on and her smile, rather annoying. Aditi was the personification of sass.

    “He’s not lovely Tom.”

    “That’s all you’re going to correct from that sentence? Wow, (y/n), you’re going soft on me.”

    “Aditi, what’s up?”

Taking her shades off, Aditi grumbled something before turning to her friend, “How’re you holding up?”

    “I’m better now.”

    “Like Post Malone?”

(y/n) turned to her computer, ignoring her statement, thus inevitably shooing her annoying friend away. Aditi laughed as she walked away, talking about Tom Holland being a savior. No one sees it, (y/n) thought to herself, feeling her ears turn pink. Everything that I had to go through, all those mails I had to read! If they knew even half of it, they’d know that Tom Holland isn’t to thank for here. I can’t believe that it has to be explained to them, she shut her eyes for a moment before taking a deep breath. I won’t be doing the explaining. I’ve had it. I don’t want to ever associate myself with Tom Holland ever again.

    While it was surprising to everyone that (y/n) decided to stay back at the desk for the moment, it wasn’t as surprising as it was for (y/n) herself. She has always hated the desk for as long as she could remember; her first week at the job and she dreaded it and wanted out. Her confidence levels were booming then, she was an enthusiastic cutlet of pure passion, she wouldn’t let the desk mar her confidence in anyway from achieving what she truly wanted. However, now, especially after the internet fiasco, (y/n) had come close to giving up.

Mental exhaustion hit her harder than it ever did before; she never knew people were capable of such hate, such anger over something they didn’t clearly understand. If (y/n) wasn’t being existential, she was being cautious. People were a force of nature, and angering a crowd proved drastic for her. She always considered her job like surfing, it’s never a safe sport. However, even a surfer tends to take a break after almost drowning. But the breath of fresh air had hit her lungs, she had found her release and everything was slowly going back to their place—Tom was leaving her alone, and she could return to critiquing.

    (y/n) should be happy, but she felt nothing of the sort. She felt absolutely nothing. She felt nothing a lot these days, ever since the scandal; she’s cried a few times, but she mostly found herself feeling nothing, being nothing. She felt empty—as if whatever makes her feel and hurt has been surgically removed, leaving her hollowed out like a shell.

The mere mention of Tom did something to her; she would feel agitated, an uncontrolled force of ire would fill her veins. She didn’t know if this was for the actor, or the person or the entire ordeal that had taken place. She didn’t know if she was wrong in blaming only him, or being mad at only him—but from her shoes, he was all she could see. 

     It was as if someone could draw lines pointing toward what caused all these problems and all lines met at Tom Holland. In a way, she admired his strength. Just a few weeks of internet hate turned her into a hollow shell of who she used to be; Tom does this every single day. He couldn’t be who he wanted to be because he was a celebrity; all his shows and interviews were interviewing Tom Holland, the actor who played Spiderman and Lionel, and not Tom Holland, the person whose face turns red because of the weather.

However, she was not in any position to be empathetic to the perpetrator of her sorrow. Whether he wanted to or not, he had impacted her mental health more than adulthood had; and he had done it in a span of a few weeks. Less than what adulthood itself took. While comparing her sudden outbreak to adulthood, (y/n) understood that this pain was given the right credit. That the hurt she had been inflicted with demanded her response.

    She, therefore, could not forgive Tom Holland, the actor, the person, the phenomenon.

Even Tom Holland had his phone fall flat on his nose as he held it to his face in the dark as he was lying down. It didn’t matter to the phone that he was Tom Holland, gravity worked even if you’re attractive. 

Grumbling in pain, Tom immediately checked for any signs of blood spilling from his nostrils, and sighed in relief when there was none. Letting out a couple of coughs, and pushing one leg out of the corner of the blanket that was covering him, Tom was finally comfortable again. It was close to 2:30 a.m., but he couldn’t sleep. Tom always had trouble falling asleep, but he normally never let it embrace him like he did that night.

    His eyes scrolled through Google search, his tongue popping out in instinct, and his eyes landed on what he wanted to look for.

    Birds of a Feather — Review by (y/n) (l/n) | London Daily

He licked his lips instinctively before clicking on the link. He scrolled to her profile in the bottom and clicked on it (since he had already read the review multiple times since then). Tom was reading the script for a new advert he was sent electronically, till it was around 1 a.m., and it was after that when he tried sleeping. When he couldn’t, he browsed through Instagram for a bit, laughed at a few funny videos on cats and dogs, but all of this he was trying to do to avoid thinking of her.

    But, once he thought of her, she stuck around. He shut his eyes and breathed, recalling her face as she smiled at him, sitting across from him in the coffeeshop. He’d pictured over ten times on how that conversation would have gone if those girls hadn’t interrupted them. He’d wondered if she’d tell him more about herself, and he wondered if he could ask her why she didn’t follow him on Instagram (taking a careful moment there, because he didn’t want to seem creepy). He wondered if she’d smile at him often the way she normally smiled, and he wondered if she’d reserve a special smile only for him.

It was almost as if he was resisting all these thoughts by not thinking of her and thinking of everything else; but all else seemed mundane in front of her.

He recalled every single detail about her from that day in the coffeeshop. Her Emilia Clarke smile when he was surprised she drank her coffee black. Her laugh—oh goodness—her laugh. When he thought about the way she laughed, as though she owned the air around her, Tom’s heart thundered inside his chest, a symphony on its own.

    He looked at all the reviews she had written, over a 100 of them, and scrolled to the very first one. He could feel his heart beating as he was scrolling through her pages, almost as if he was doing something so secretive that he couldn’t let the world know yet. Tom wasn’t thinking and perhaps, a crush can do that to a person; where their body knows what the mind wants, and was working on finding out more and more and more about the person in question.

He found her Star Wars reviews, all of them stacked together. He slowly began reading each and every single one—some were not longer than 900 words, some critiques were over 2000. He absorbed the way she thought in some of the movies he’s also seen, and he wanted more. 

He searched for her name on Facebook after that and found her in one go, chuckling when he discovered that she hadn’t actually deactivated her Facebook account. He stalked her innocently, careful not to like anything, careful not to make it seem like he had tread on a path he wasn’t allowed. Tom almost felt like he was trespassing, but this didn’t harm anyone.

    She likes Star Wars, he thought before adorning a smile. He took a look at one of her status updates about Mark Hamill. If Mark Hamill ever replied to a tweet I made, I’d die. I’d just cry and die right then. Tom laughed, before scrolling past and seeing more of her. Here was a whole person, whose life was intertwined with an Instagram story he had put up.

    “I’ve met Mark Hamill, you know,” Tom said to absolutely no one. “He’s such a nice guy.”

And Tom fantasized all night over introducing her to Hamill, seeing her melt, or cry and die like she had written. Tom knew this was incredibly foolish of him to be thinking the way he was about someone he knew nothing about (of course, knowing she likes Mark Hamill didn’t count). Oh, but he wanted to. He wanted to know her. He wanted to ease things and not have this radio silence with her. He’s an actor, and there would be so many people he’d never ever meet, who desperately wanted to meet him. But this was perhaps the first time, where Tom desperately wanted to meet someone, and being an actor didn’t help.

    It was as if the tables were turned here. To him, (y/n) was now the celebrity, far out of his reach, pristine and wonderful, hardworking and gorgeous, close to ideal even—but one fact remained. Tom shut his phone and put it aside, noticing the time was close to 4 in the morning. She’s out of my league, Tom chuckled, before hoping to dream about her.

(y/n) woke up to her phone buzzing. It was several minutes before her alarm could wake her, but she was not complaining. She blinked a couple of times before checking her phone, and noticing that the message was from an unknown number. Sitting up, she held the phone in her hands and read through the message.

I hope everything is alright now. I sincerely hope you don’t have any more mails coming your way, bad ones. I’m sorry I can’t tell you this in person, for screwing up last time. Have a good day, (y/n). :) 

There’s a smiley in the end, she thought before frowning. She knew who it was from. She didn’t want to wake up with this being the first thing she saw. Sighing, she closed the messages app before getting on with her day. If he was expecting a reply, then her behavior was a clear giveaway. She was ghosting him. 

     It took her close to an hour to get ready, have breakfast and begin her journey to the office that morning. She liked how London was sunny that morning, and not gloomy like it was almost every other day. Just as she reached office, greeting people she knew with a nice smile, she spotted Aditi already waiting by her desk. Cocking an eyebrow at her friend, she hopping toward her to ask her what happened.

    “You won’t believe who called me to ask for your number,” Aditi said, smirking. “You most definitely won’t like who it is, but I’m warning you, be nice. You need to be. May the Force be with you.”

(y/n) rolls her eyes before whispering, “Was it Tom Holland?”

Aditi blinks like she heard her friend say the most idiotic thing possible. She scoffed and shook her head at (y/n)’s imprudence.

    “Oh, please! Why in the world would Tom Holland call a beat reporter? No, it was someone else that you don’t like and you’re going to need to be at your best—”

Almost as if on cue, (y/n)’s phone started to ring. Blinking at Aditi, she moved aside a bit, placing her bag on her desk and picked up the call.

    “Hello?”

    “(y/n)?” The voice sounded bored, almost as if she didn’t even want to be talking.

(y/n) felt all the energy leave her body when she identified the caller.

    “Jenny. What a pleasant surprise.” Robotic and not genuine.

    “Alright, so I don’t know what the whole deal is with you and Tom, but he sent me a rather sharp mail talking about how disappointed he was with the content I broadcasted on my show, and that I had to call you and apologize for slandering your name.”

    “He did?” (y/n) was confused.

    “Yes,” There was a sigh, “He did. And he was demanding so I had to call you. Why else would I call you?” Jenny didn’t have to explicitly state that she hated (y/n), all Jenny had to do was talk.

    “Thanks for calling, Jen. Keep up with the great work!” (y/n) faked enthusiasm, and heard Jenny groan before ending the call.

    “Jennifer fucking Campbell. I can’t believe it.” (y/n) breathed, letting out a laugh.

    “But, why did she want to call you?” Aditi asked.

(y/n) sighed. She didn’t want to talk about it. She didn’t want to tell Aditi that Tom had asked Jenny to call. Aditi’s response was already in order. She’d ask her friend to send Tom a thank you note or a bouquet or whatever it was that they’d send with thank you notes. (y/n) shrugged before dropping the topic and getting to her desk. She had decided to ghost Tom, and even a rather hilarious apology from Jenny wouldn’t do.

An hour later, (y/n)’s phone beeped. Taking a breather, she checked her phone to find she had a new follow request. Blinking, she clicked on the Instagram notification and groaned. A ‘tomholland2013’ had sent her a new request. What is he doing? She thought before declining it, and refreshing the page. A second later, there was another request. From Tom.

I am not doing this right now, she thought before ignoring the request; she felt her cheeks burn up, and a ghost of a smile was threatening to make its way up to her lips. She wouldn’t cave. No, she scolded herself before straightening her reaction. I am not doing this!

A moment later, she let out a squeak and covered her face with her hands. She could control her reactions, but her face was still quite warm. As much as she loved her ability to ignore unwanted people in her life, ignoring Tom Holland was a challenge.

    “What’s gotten into you?” Haz asked, petting Tessa on the head.

    “What do you mean?” Tom said, looking up from his phone, a smile still on his face.

Harrison pointed to Tom’s eerie smile, disgusted, “That. You’re smiling like a horse.”

Tom scoffed before muttering a ‘sod off’ and getting back to his phone. Haz blinked before looking at Harry and Sam, who were coming into the living room. Pointing to his friend, Harrison waited for Harry or Sam to respond on their own.

    “He’s been like this since last night.” Sam said, bored.

    “He’s been readin’, can you believe it? I even peeped into what he was looking at so intensely, but they were just words.” Harry said, shrugging.

Haz looked at Tom, who was ignoring the whole thing.

    “Could be smut.” Sam suggested.

Haz rolled his eyes, “He’s not reading porn, Sam.”

    “Whatever he’s readin’s sure making him smile like a fucking creep, that’s for sure.” Harry said, letting out a laugh.

Harrison let out a sigh. He looked at his friend and wondered. The only other time that Tom was out of wits was back in BRIT when he was obsessed with this other girl in class. The crush didn’t last very long, but similar signs were present back then—now grown in intensity. Haz nodded to himself once before minding his own business. The answers would come to him, as they always did.

It’s Tom. And he was Haz. It was meant to happen.  

series taglist:

@strangemaximoff, @aestheticgaybish, @noobmaster63, @why-are-all-the-teens-gay, @wonders-of-the-multiverse, @boushalaivre, @jackiehollanderr, @nerdypisces160, @yourwonderbelle, @quackson606, @stickyqueenbouquetsstuff, @fandoms-stuff, @danicarosaline

[ofieugogyshz]

Excerpt from @kiraheartilly

The following scene involves two men seeing you and Lance on TV briefly. The conversation briefly discusses your career and then goes on to talk about pronouns and gender, both as a general thing and in relation to you.

I wanted to submit this to you and get your feedback, less on the writing itself and more on the things discussed about gender, since it’s a personal subject. 

The men and their Pok��mon sipped their drinks while watching TV. The news anchor gave a report. “Pokémon League Champions and married couple Lance and Sarah have recently landed in the Laegun Region. When asked about the reason for their trip, they had this to say.”

The scene cut to Lance, a familiar looking man with spiky carmine hair, light skin, and a black cape flowing behind him. “Part of being a Pokémon Master means learning as much about Pokémon as you can. For us, this means travelling the world to learn more about the Pokémon and trainers in various regions. We’ve been planning this trip for a while, but my wife and I have been quite busy and sometimes it’s difficult to get my schedule to align with theirs.”

Beside him, his wife Sarah smiled. They had flat brown hair and brown eyes, with a large black cloak hooded dress flowing over their body and down to her ankles, with extra fabric trailing behind them like a cape of their own. The dress was covered in lace and frills and made them look almost witchlike. Its darkness was in contrast to their light skin. At their shoulder sat an energetic Pikachu.

“If we happen to get a chance to spend some quality time together, that’s a plus too,” they said.

Watching this, Dean smirked. “We’ve been getting a lot of visitors from other regions lately. Didn’t Lorelei visit and have her match with Hazuki? I wonder if Lance and Sarah are planning to challenge anyone.”

“Sarah’s mostly retired now, they don’t do league stuff as much. But I wouldn’t mind if they did have a battle, it might be exciting to watch. I used to be a huge fan of theirs back in the day. They’ve been Champion in more regions than most trainers even get to visit. They dominated the competition in Hoenn, Unova, and Kalos in particular. They’ve also had a pretty fierce run in Sinnoh; between Sarah, Cynthia, and Dawn, the title of Champion seemed to keep flipping all around the place. Gloria, the champion of Galar, said she’s hoping to one day challenge Sarah, but they’ve never had a chance.”

“Wow, I never realized they were so strong.”

“Yeah, they’ve been out of the spotlight for a while now, so most people know them as Lance’s wife. I’m still hoping they’ll make a comeback someday,” Greg quickly sipped down his juice.

Blowing on his latte to cool it, Dean gave a quizzical look. “Wait, do they really consider themself to be Lance’s wife and not spouse? They use they/them pronouns right? So they’re non-binary and not a woman.”

Greg nodded. “Yes, Sarah is Lance’s wife. You seem to be confused about a few things. Pronouns are usually indicative of gender but don’t always match up in a strict one-to-one sort of way. It’s an extremely personal thing and while there are patterns, there are no hard rules.

“Secondly, non-binary people sometimes choose to use gendered language or terms when to refer to themselves. That’s why there are countless non-binary lesbians out there. You remember that one zombie show that was popular a few years back? One of the main characters was played by a non-binary person who used they/them pronouns but still identified as a lesbian. They also preferred being called an actor instead of an actress. And as counterintuitive as it may seem, some people actually do identify as non-binary women.

“Lastly, it’s worth noting that Sarah uses multiple pronouns. They/them, she/her, and even some neopronouns. When it comes to things like gender and identity, the world can be very complex.”

“I see,” said Dean, finishing his latte.

I’m hoping that if I can continue writing your full cameo will be in Chapter 5 or so. This is chapter 3

okay, initial fluster over with--

looking it over again, i’m not sure there’s much that really stands out to me beyond how the diction used feels a little... unnatural? not necessarily because people don’t often talk that irl and it’s not normalized, but more like... it sounds kinda elementary-level academic and not more casual. if the two were like. idk, scholars or something, i guess it could work, but it reads kind of very... school teacher teaching to classroom and less person to person having a discussion about gender.

like, uh, if it were me talking to someone about someone else’s pronouns/gendered language, it’d be more casual, along the lines of

“Someone can be both non-binary and consider themselves someone’s boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, spouse, etc. Being non-binary doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to adhere to non-binary terms, or that you aren’t allowed to use binary terms at all.” 

your example is still fine about the zombie show actor! everything else is good as is, I just recoil a little whenever I see people try to explain lgbt+ terms in a way that feels almost scholastic and not necessarily casual, for what would otherwise be a casual conversation/exchange. it’s something that I hope people are finding better ways to introduce as time goes on, when it comes to fiction and writing, so that we can all find better ways to emulate natural conversation about it!

oh, a minor thing that’s absolutely not related to the gender discussion and you’re more than welcome to disregard this next paragraph. it’s more along the lines of “people interpret championship differently than others”, some people treat being champion as different than defeating a champion (i am of the mind that these are two diff things) and that one can choose to be a region’s champion for a time, until the next championship match or they choose to step down or something but that’s all variable and ultimately no one’s going to fault anyone for conflating because it’s never been made clear in any medium, but i’d prefer something like “they’ve won multiple championship matches/defeated multiple champions, and always went after the next challenge, rather than keep the title in a single place. Even let their husband keep the Indigo Champion title rather than stay in their home region.” doesn’t have to be verbatim.  granted, if it runs contrast to the viewpoint that you headcanon about championship, then by all means go with yours as it is your story ultimately and i’m only providing feedback, not trying to mandate what the rules of canon are or something.

if this sounds all weird, i apologize. words are hard. gender is harder. 

[bigskydreaming]

I’m so mad, I’m so.....fuck. I feel like this doctor had no intention of ever doing this surgery because its like ever since I actually CAME UP with the money, its been one thing after another about why I need to do this still or that, and it feels like they kept stalling or trying to get me to give up, like....idk, nothing I come up with makes SENSE, all I know is they were perfectly fine and helpful in getting me a diagnosis and scans, and then sent me off after I did the final molds/impressions and said the only thing left was they couldn’t move forward until I paid x amount of money...and then I did, and all of a sudden its oh that’s not the right amount, I don’t know who quoted you that (umm you) but actually we need 20K up front because insurance claims can’t be submitted until after treatment and we might not be reimbursed (which again, then why did YOU make me wait to send my insurance preauthorization requests if your policy is to make patients pay in full upfront and wait for reimbursement which...what)...and THEN if there was STILL never a chance of me getting this surgery without paying in full upfront, why did they make me wait around for another week and a half while we waited on getting my insurance approve an access to care form that made this doctor in network (previously she was out of network for my insurance, but I had my insurance check for in network providers and there’s no one in network within a 100 miles of me who does this specific surgery)....like, if even being in network, they still weren’t going to take Blue Shield’s formal, written letter detailing what exactly was covered under my plan and they were intending to pay out....WHY WAIT FOR THIS FORM TO GO THROUGH AND GET THE LETTER BACK AT ALL????

It makes NO fucking sense. I feel like they never expected me to actually be able to come up with the money and idk what, like, she actually doesn’t know how to do the surgery or she doesn’t fucking doesn’t like me or want to or what like, lmfao I don’t even know, it MAKES NO SENSE.

But of course, its super obvious they were putting off calling me and hoping they could ride out the clock and I wouldn’t call today because I can tell the office manager doesn’t like being the go between and having to only give me bad news, but like, tough, that’s your fucking job, and maybe if you’d been a little less ‘gentle’ about it and just flat out admitted you guys were never gonna fucking do this surgery for me, I wouldn’t have WASTED an entire fucking month sitting on my ass, draining my account of money I can’t afford to waste, because my shitty jaw has progressed to the point where I can barely sleep, barely even eat because I have to manually fucking close it with my hand when I chew anything harder than rice, lmfao, and just....

God. The only thing I can think of to do now is try calling every other oral/maxillofacial surgeon in the county and see if they can do these procedures and accept my insurance. I know there’s no in network ones, and I already checked and my insurance can’t help me find a list of out of network ones, I have to basically just google every oral surgeon in LA and even though they’re all apparently out of network if they’re able to perform this surgery at all, I can at least probably get them in network by doing an access to care form again with them too, like since clearly this doctor turned out to not be a viable option? Idek man. Ugh. Jfc. And who knows how long this is gonna take. Ugh if they’d at least just fucking owned up to it and just called me this morning when they decided this still didn’t change shit, I could have had all day to be calling other offices instead of waiting for them to call and hoping this time at least they were aware enough of my DESPERATE FUCKING SENSE OF URGENCY BECAUSE HAVE I MENTIONED CONSTANT FUCKING OWWWWW AND ALSO HEY MY COMPLETE INABILITY TO FUNCTION IN ANY KIND OF MEASURABLY PRODUCTIVE WAY??? that they’d actually KEEP their word this time about calling when they said they’d call.

Now of course, none of these places are open on Saturday from the looks of it, so I won’t even be able to START calling around until Monday, and ugh. jfc. why. why the fuck did they string me along all fucking month if they knew at the end of it all no matter what, they weren’t gonna budge from trying to get me to pay 20K upfront, out of pocket, like I hadn’t told them from the START there was no way I could manage that, and hadn’t told them AGAIN when they TOOK my fucking money in the first place, when I paid them the $6,200 they INITIALLY told me would be my downpayment for this surgery, like I told them THEN that getting the loan for $10K in order to come up with the EXACT amount they specified took every bit of goodwill I could wring out of a lender with the credit I do have and there was ZERO chance of me coming up with ANYTHING more than that amount upfront....so why the fuck didn’t they tell me at least THEN when they ‘corrected’ me on the amount that it didn’t matter HOW MANY fucking hoops I jumped through with my insurance to try and get this doctor the reassurance or surety that they’d be reimbursed for x amount by Blue Shield...like....I COULD HAVE BEEN DOING ALL THIS A GODDAMN MONTH AGO. I’ve been waiting TWO YEARS for a fix to this shit that affects EVERY SINGLE ASPECT of my life, I FINALLY got a fucking diagnosis, a doctor who told me she could fix it, who said she could restore full function and wipe out the problems I have from it completely, no more headaches, no more pain, no more vertigo, no more nerve flareups....and now turns out I’ve wasted ANOTHER full month that got me not a single fucking step closer to this being DONE and FIXED and like.....

I’m so mad. And just. So frustrated. And SO. FUCKING. TIRED. Jfc. I hate them, I really fucking do, like they literally just fucking don’t give a shit no matter how many times I really fucking calmly and civilly lol tried to express how much it gets worse every single day like it has been CONSISTENTLY for the past two years, like never fucking plateauing, no matter HOW bad I think its gotten, it ALWAYS fucking manages to find a way to surprise me when I wake up the next day and yet AGAIN its somehow managed to shift so things are just enough different I NEVER get a chance to even get used to a ‘new normal’ and just fucking adjust to it, as shitty as it might be....ugh. God. I’m just.

LMFAO I honestly think right now I hate this doctor more than the fucking gay-bashers who caused this fucking drama by kicking me in the goddamn face over and over 15 fucking years ago and if THAT’S not hysterically fucked up I REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT IS.

Anyway. So that’s my mood tonight, how’s everyone else doing? LOL.

This might be a longshot, but on the off chance that ANYONE knows or is friends with or related to an oral surgeon or oral maxillofacial surgeon in the greater LA area, like, this specifically is what I’ve been told I need to get done:

I need a Mandibular splint, a Total joint surgery on the left tmj (Temporomandibular joint) and an Orthognathic surgery. They specifically ruled out that I didn’t need a jaw replacement surgery because I have enough of the original bone that goes in that joint like, still there, so I didn’t actually need to get a prosthetic joint or the jaw replacement surgery which is apparently riskier and less effective anyway? Idek. If I can even trust anything they told me at this point, lmfao, but let’s just assume I can because not sure this fucker’s depression hour can handle thinking I might have to start back from square one NOPE NOT GONNA HAPPEN NOT THIS GUY I FUCKING REFUSE.

LOL as though my objections have any fucking effect on any of this anyway. BUT I DIGRESS. So yeah, that’s what I supposedly need done, I actually have really fucking good and expensive Blue Shield insurance that I’ve gouged myself a new asshole getting and keeping this year, not to mention needed donation posts and help with that just to still ultimately scrape by and not lose it, all specifically because I knew there was not a chance in hell I could ever afford the treatment I was being told I needed, like, out of pocket, and the irony is due to how expensive living out of a motel is and how like, I couldn’t afford to take any money AWAY from my many doctor visits in order to at any point this past year come up with enough money to put first and last month’s rent down on an apartment (and I look too much like a tweaker apparently, with constant twitches and fidgets and fixing my jaw, for like, anybody to want to just rent a room to me apparently, and even giving them the full story ended up seeming like “im too much drama” hahahaha oh LA I fucking HEART you sometimes), so there was never really any fucking alternative TO living out of motels currently, at least not until I can manage to stay upright on my feet long enough to get a part time job and use that to get a permanent address around here.....AND bottom line is in order to take in enough money from work and then ultimately from help with donations too, in order to keep my motels paid daily and not get kicked out and still manage to eat at least every other day....that was just enough money that it looks from my bank account that I make too much to need or justify Medicare taking on all this for me, ruling that out as an option, even though none of that money in my bank account was ever fucking LEFT by the end of each day after paying rent/food, and I usually only had like three bucks in my account by the time I went to bed each night....doesn’t fucking matter because lolol all they give a shit about is your MONTHLY statements. And I’m well past the point where I can even manage busing all the way around LA to downtown and shit in order to make the daily trips required to get Medicare offices to eventually give enough of a fuck to hear me out, like...a five minute bus ride to Best Buy today to buy a replacement keyboard for this laptop practically wiped me out ahahaha.

Anyway, I’m just venting and purging like I do. Don’t worry, I promise not to actually go supernova and ignite the atmosphere like I threatened earlier, that was all for show, we all know I’m WAY too petty and spiteful an asshole to ever settle for anything less than full fucking victory here and then like...eventual world domination because lol not like I’m letting those frathole rapist gaybasher fuck-offs WIN, like, have you MET me? I have survived this long on ire and spite, I will make it as far as I need to its, just...

*pathetic whines*

I dont fucking waaaaaaaaaaaaant to, I’m tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired, I wanna go to beeeeeeeeed.

Anyway, yeah. So if anyone like, is related to one of those surgical types or KNOWS someone who is, like, my good fucking insurance is set up to pay for having the operation done at Cedars fucking Sinai no matter who does it, like, as long as the doctor has any kind of pre-existing relationship with them, enough to get them to book an OR for them, I guess? I still dont fucking know how all this works, apparently Grey’s Anatomy is not an accurate source, who knew, how dare.

Like but yeah, the endpoint of that particular stream of consciousness vomit was if anyone knows ANYONE who knows ANYTHING about ANY of that surgical medicalese blah blah blah that I posted, like...my anons are open, feel free to pop in with a name and number or suggestion or referral or whatever the fuck, I will take ANY connection no matter how flimsy if it exists at all, I don’t care if its your second grade teacher’s dog’s veterinarians second cousin by marriage’s roommate. That’s GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.

[livingwithkdramas]

PRODUCE X 101 CONCEPT EVALUATION (3/5)

DAMN VOCALS DAMN STAGE. I think everyone agrees that lee hyeob killed it in this performance. One thing that i do find conerning (?) idk what to call it, is that Tony seems very left out but mnet is such a snake so i won’t be suprised if it was editing but somehow, i feel like all the trainees dont really like him, its just this vibe that i get as in im not saying all the trainees but i do feel some i guess bad vibes being emitted at times no specific person but just a feeling. Regardless of that the team pulled off the performance well.

LEE HYEOB - MAIN VOCAL

THOSE AD LIBS THAT 5 OCTAVE AD LIB AT THE END AND EVERYTHING ELSE. Out of all the concept songs, this performance had to had the most adlibs and the fact that he pulled off that 5 octave note so effortlessly both while recording and performing is a testament to his consistency. For some reason he really does sound like jaehwan at some points though but idk considering he can change do hyun’s “adlib” to a legit one says alot too, i think he has a very bright future infront of him even if he doesn’t debut now

TONY - CENTER AND SUB-VOCAL

He didn’t really come off as center to me in this performance but i do think his dancing is up there in terms of skills and balance (?) (this is me trying to use professional terms but not knowing if they’re used correctly) This song suits him well and I like to think that he has great facial expressions and rather decent vocals.

LEE SE JIN - LEADER/SUB VOCAL 

Kinda sad he didn’t get many lines as he looked stable but i do think there was a reason he debuted as an actor already because his facial expressions are on point everytime he’s on camera and is overall a good member of the team

KIM MIN KYU - SUB VOCAL

He’s still improving and his vocals do seem stronger now but i would say his facial expressions lack consistency abit as he seems to look abit tired at points and idk if it is right of me to say this but his dancing still looks slightly awkward and i think its because of his height it makes it harder to look like he’s in sync with the other members but i do think he’s still improving so props to him

NAM DO HYUN - RAPPER

This wasn’t really a rap song so not much of a focus on him here but i think he proves he’s a good rapper because for me i think the thing about rappers is that his voice has to be distinct and nam do hyun knows how to use his voice and sing the song in a way that makes it less flat and makes it come alive and i think since he suggested that ad lib during recording he may very well start composing and writing songs soon

JOO CHANG GUK - RAPPER

I wouldn’t really consider this role a rapper but he did decent though maybe because he’s a trained vocals it really sounds more like he’s singing the parts but yeah he’s not a bad singer and dancer

KIM DONG YOON - SUBVOCAL

Mnet if you were just going to make him sub vocal why even bring him back, I just found it kinda sad and depressing that he didn’t really get a second chance like there wasn’t much he could do and it wasn’t his fault

[oracles]

"kindaaaa wanna do this but i don't have enough kpoppies following me .. sad" *rubs hands together* alright here we go, challenge time. EXO, NCT, BTS, Red Velvet

kendra omg … I APPRECIATE YOU 😤💖 thank you! most of these will be under the cut probably

▷EXO

my first bias: kai. he was the first one that stood out to me in call me baby

your current bias and why: honestly i don’t really know. i love their music but don’t really stan the group like that. chanyeol maybe? he’s really talented and i admire that. perhaps kyungsoo for the same reasons

favorite song: oh boy …. they actually have a TON of amazing songs, so it’s really hard to pick. ‘promise’ and ‘sweet lies’ are just two examples of faves

favorite mv: i’m gonna be biased and say ‘call me baby’ since that was my first song that i heard by them (back when it came out too actually)

otp: i don’t ship members in groups, and also i feel like i don’t know the members well enough to say who has my favorite dynamic. maybe baekhyun/sehun?

member you think has the best smile: generally, i love all smiles but if i had to pick one … maybe i’ll be biased and say chanyeol?

favourite choreography: part of me wants to say call me baby since i’m biased, but overdose and growl are also pretty iconic

favorite era: call me baby. im 100% biased and what about it?

do you own any merchandise?: nope

have you seen them live?: i haven’t

favorite voice/singer: chen and kyungsoo, probably, if i had to pick

favorite dancer: kai

SEND ME A KPOP GROUP!

▷ NCT

my first bias: different from the first members i knew, but lucas

your current bias and why: if i had to pick one person, still lucas. frankly, lucas was the reason i really started properly stanning nct in the first place. i watched the knowing brothers episode he was on and i kinda caught feelings since then. he’s so kind-hearted and hard working while also making me laugh and being just a general ray of sunshine, i love he ;-;

favorite song: this is IMPOSSIBLE to choose … considering the fact that there’s so many subunits to the group too omg … but here’s just a few per unit (and by no means a complete list of my faves). ummm a few include limitless, the 7th sense, 1 2 3, la la love, dream launch, no longer, back 2 u, and like a Ton more

favorite mv: i have to say cherry bomb because it was the song that got me into them (musically) in the first place. i saw the teaser pics for cherry bomb and that was what got me intrigued

otp fave dynamic: there’s a lot to name (considering there’s 21 members) but can i just say that overall wayv is my emotional support nct unit

member you think has the best smile: i wanna say ALL of them, but because i know answers like this can get exhausting i will give a special shoutout to mr nakamoto yuta . the healing smile king himself

favorite choreography: idk why cherry bomb keeps coming to mind again, but the way that they did that death drop and the leg splitting move? im shaking so hard just thinking about it dhdbjdg baby don’t stop and boss also get special shoutouts bc im biased

favorite era: this is hard …. this being such a huge group makes things infinitely harder but some of my faves include: go (nct dream), boss (nct u), cherry bomb (nct 127) but i pretty much love them all, even though firetruck was … a mess stylistically

do you own any merchandise?: i don’t, but i’ve been thinking of getting an album or two someday. idk which one though

have you seen them live?: no, but i hope to one day! hopefully with envi

favorite voice/singer: all of vocal line? hghghdfg but i will give a special shoutout to jaehyun for absolutely hurting my feelings with ‘try again’ and his cover of a whole new world 

favorite dancer: ten and jisung

▷ BTS

my first bias: yoongi! the first significant foray i made into bts was actually having agust d sent to me by envi

your current bias and why: haters envi will say it’s hoseok and i will deny those rumors. im ot7 biased ONLY. if i had to narrow it down a bit, MAYBE i will let bein rapline biased slide. but honestly, all of the bts members are not only so amazingly talented but also good people in general so it makes it hard for me to put one person over the others bc it makes me feel bad (though i know there’s no reason to be, since having a bias doesn’t mean you like the other members any less)

favorite song: i absolutely cannot and will not pick just one song. but i will put it out there, for the record, that baepsae was the first song of theirs i heard so it’ll always be special to me for that reason

favorite mv: if i had to pick, i have a soft spot for spring day and blood sweat & tears

otp fave dynamic: because they’re a group with so much good synergy, i could name any duo, but from the beginning, i’ve been especially partial for yoonseok

member you think has the best smile: ALL of them but in the spirit of being less indecisive, special shoutout to hoseok and taehyung

favorite choreography: again, this is hard. in part bc suddenly my brain decides to go proper blank. it’s not my favorite per se, but baepsae deserves a spot here because of how hype that song and its choreo is till this day, years later

favorite era: run era will have a special place in my heart bc of the Looks but the sheer power that bs&t had ….. can she ever even be topped truly?

do you own any merchandise?: i do! officially, i have all of the love yourself albums (two are from kendra) and i have a bt21 mang doll (from envi). unofficially, i also have a 2018 bts desk calendar (also from kendra)

have you seen them live?: no, but one day i really hope i can!

favorite voice/singer: ALL . but if i remember in my early stanning days, i had a special spot for taehyung’s voice. if you listen to singularity, then you know

favorite dancer: hoseok (give him more choreo in the center) & jimin

▷  RED VELVET

my first bias: joy

your current bias and why: still joy, but rotating through all of the other members now as well except for wendy. i honestly don’t even know why joy is a bias, but i guess she just chose me (also me gay)

favorite song: there’s quite a few honestly. i can never really pick just ONE song for any group, unless i barely listen to them. two of theirs that i’ve been listening to quite a bit is ‘cause it’s you’ and ‘kingdom come’ 

favorite mv: peek-a-boo. it was my first music video/comeback with them and the concept of it really changed my life and was what motivated me into stanning them in the first place

otp fave dynamic: i’m biased so i just wanna say joy/seulgi. but also, i feel like while i listen to them a lot, i also am not super knowledgeable in the group’s dynamics to definitively say

member you think has the best smile: im biased so i’m saying joy. irene too bc she’s just so beautiful so how could i not

favorite choreography: not necessarily THE favorite one for me, but be natural’s choreo? i kinda felt that

favorite era: peek-a-boo, bad boy or red flavor. honestly probably some of their best recently comebacks as well. the others have fallen kinda flat for me

do you own any merchandise?: nope

have you seen them live?: i have not

favorite voice/singer: sad to say it .. but wendy has some pretty great vocals. also i really love seulgi’s voice

favorite dancer: seulgi, by far. her stage presence outsold as well

[applekitty]

ive noticed that a LOT of fanfics that try to redeem dedede really dont try. like its not like the author is lazy but the way its executed is

i have never read a fic wherein dedede is given a satisfactory redemption arc, he’s usually just nice from the beginning and very flat with the same personality every other ‘game’ dedede has, basically just ‘i am loud, i’m not mean or cruel im just loud and also im very sassy and a dad dont mess with me im epic’ which seems at first like it might substitute for his evil nature but it doesn’t

or he’s just really outrageously stupid, which is more anime dedede. 

i do agree with you, though i think dedede in and of himself is a hard character to do perfectly ‘correctly’. because when it comes to game canon, there is no correct way to write him. because dedede has no personality. he has hints of personality. which is not replacement for a personality. you are left entirely to your own devices when it comes to dedede’s flaws and his entire mindset in general, because canon supports absolutely everything you could ever put onto his canvas. i could say dedede is a hostile matriarch with no care for anyone other than himself and his kingdom and it’d be supported, because the only times dedede has been forced to act out of good is to defend his planet from something (potentially, in magolor’s case) hostile. or i could say he’s just a cozy uwu dad who’s done some wrong but he’s fluffy and cute nao and canon would sort of shakingly support that.

i went out a LOT about this on the hnk discord server. i’ll leave the entire transcript below but it’s about how people write game canon / why i don’t read game canon fics / the intrinsic, EXTREME difficulty with writing game canon fics. had this convo with @sociallyunacceptableorb , @toon-kirby , and azuranaito

i’ll tl;dr it here but: the reason why game fics seem a little strange while going in is because the games themselves lack a solid personality for the characters. fanon personality exists for them, and usually when writers write for them, they step in such a way which may not align with you, the viewer’s expectations of the fanon personality. it may seem inherently unsatisfying, to you, but for others, it’s very satisfying. the status of game canon and fandom canon makes it harder for you to be satisfied by the fanfics you read unless they are very surface level, boring sorts of fanfics. 

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 12:40 PM

kitty’s opinion time

most writers cannot go without incorporating the anime in some regard to kirby content due to how much the anime had bled into the interpretations of the games. people will write spanish meta knight as a game thing, people will write kirby being babyish / saying poyo being a game thing, as well as dedede being southern a game thingthe writers who decry the anime as bad / only good ‘at the time’ yet use anime personalities / interpretations make me lul extremely.(edited)

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 12:44 PM

Galaxia was from the anime.

Girlaxia was from 4Kids.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 12:45 PM

kirby saying ‘poyo’ is an anime thing, galaxia is an anime thing, to pick and choose from the anime shows that the games and their lack of writing cannot stand on its own without having to take from the very franchise that’s being decryed to help a worse written franchise

(edited)

no writing / intrigue writing ≠ good writing

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 12:47 PM

To be fair, it’s probably for the best that anime bleeds into the games or else we’d be stuck with oceans of edgelordery KIRBY IS EVUL AND EATS INNOCENT LIVES… though that’s already on AO3.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 12:47 PM

looks at matpat

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 12:48 PM

He ignores all canon to make people mad on purpose.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 12:48 PM

honestly if removing anime canon / anime’s bleed into the video game’s interpretation = writers to go 'KIRBY EVUL’ then idk what to say other than lul

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 12:49 PM

I mean, I don’t think the games writing is shit, but I also don’t trust edgy people with Void Termina.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 12:50 PM

i think saying 'game writing > anime writing’ is just blatantly.. wrongbecause that’s just saying 'little to no writing so that way you can focus on gameplay > a literal 22 episode made for television with themes and lessons’

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 12:51 PM

Oh! Yeah, that I agree on.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 12:51 PM

i also dont trust edgelords with kirby or void honestly

or any kirby characters

i dont trust edelords period

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 12:51 PM

I thought you were saying that all game lore was trash.

It’s crumbs.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 12:51 PM

i used to be one and i made EVERYTHING baaad

it’s comparing crumbs to a loaf of bread

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 12:52 PM

“Well, I hate pumpernickel! So the entire loaf is bad!”

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 12:52 PM

uerGHERUG

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 12:53 PM

“But you haven’t even eaten it.”“IT’S BAD.”…this metaphor is getting lost.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 12:53 PM

honestly it’s why i just.. dont read game fics, because there’s little to no ground for writers to stand on and write stuff with

things get too wild and they feel just.. weird ig

i dont know how to put it into words, really

AzuraLast Wednesday at 12:54 PM

That kinda makes me mad with what happened with one of my friends. People got onto her for crossing the anime and games together, which, when she wrote it, it wasn’t bad at all, but because the anime was involved people wanted to bitch at her for it.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 12:54 PM

interps of game canon are based purely off the person who writes it and all the people reading said thing all have different interpretations which inherently makes reading a game fic unsatisfying and ooc for you personally because your hc filled in the void the game left differently than the authors did. but for the writer it is ic.(edited)

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 12:55 PM

Like gijinka fic?

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 12:56 PM

reading mirror fics also, inherently, can be unsatsifying i think

for the same reasons

people have so many different interps of how mirror world works that reading anything about it, just on its core basis that the author uses to define a 'mirror world’ can feel unsatisfactory

gijinka as well suffers from this

AzuraLast Wednesday at 12:57 PM

My friend didn’t write gijinka. But she self projected quite a bit onto Meta; her HC for him was that he was an engineer trained under Haltmann.Which also ended up writing out the actual irl problems her major has which is an aerospace engineering.Hoo boy, with the Mirror World, there’s no clear line with it but the majority is usually edgy.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 12:58 PM

people have different interps, and because of how the western world works, we all think our interpretation is the best we can possibly have. usually when we read things we suspend our disbelief, and when it comes to kirby fics, game fics, gijinka fics, i don’t think people can really.. deeply get involved in them.it’s a problem fics i suppose in general have. but it’s especially bad for game canon writers, or gijinka writers.people have hugely different adaptations of the same subject. with the anime there’s clearly written rules and characters defined over the course of 100 episodes. there’s a clear cut story with lots of dialogue and content there to be tackled. but even still, it can be interpreted differently by different people because thats how life works. only the existence of a canon episode cannot be refuted; a fic can be

game canon is harder to do because yes you have the games, and a lot of them, but there is no writing. it is all gameplay. which means that personalities and dialogue and whatever else is not the focus. people can have extremely varying interpretations of canon because of this, which is what intrinsically makes game canon harder to write for. with anime canon it’s easier to write closer to canon because there is a clear cut one. but with game canon, there is no clear cut canon.

AzuraLast Wednesday at 1:02 PM

That’s also why so many people also freak out about all the supposed lore the games have, right?

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:02 PM

the lore in games is very open ended is the thing, so it leads to people’s speculation and very different extrapolations of the lore and canon, yes

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 1:03 PM

Yup! It adds to their own things; it’s satisfying less for the confirmation and more for the new content to tinker with.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:03 PM

kirby is very, VERY dry in terms of story telling in the games, so any piece of lore given is EXTREMELY important for content creators / theorists(edited)

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 1:04 PM

I can’t really fault people who build off lore since it’s such a personal thing. Other people get huffy and whine about them “not really appreciating the game” but I find it is appreciation, just in a different fashion. It goes downhill once people get childish and argumentative, though.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:05 PM

the thing is people can also do that ^ for the anime too

remember that one server you were talking about in #newbie-chat

lol

in the end we are the people going 'you are not appreciating the anime right and the way you write for the games is going to intrinsically be unsatisfying unless you go onto the crutch of anime lore'i do anime/game fusion because i know the games can’t stand on their own

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 1:08 PM

Aheh. But of course.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:08 PM

[snobbish laughter]

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 1:08 PM

I actually don’t for the same reason. It feels cheap, like I’m forcing a square peg into a round hole.The barebones of the games doesn’t mesh with the backstory of the games that well for me.

StarRodPiplupLast Wednesday at 1:09 PM

So, like, if I wrote a fic with a sentient Galaxia, and then threw the rest of anime canon in the trash, it wouldn’t be cool?

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:09 PM

it’d be relying on the anime canon in some regard, showing that the game canon can’t hold its own

StarRodPiplupLast Wednesday at 1:09 PM

Too many plot holes

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:10 PM

it would be a tad bit jarring, at least in my opinion because im the local brutal 4kids anime stan

but for other people it wouldnt be, i’m just a person with too much time to complain about kirby

StarRodPiplupLast Wednesday at 1:11 PM

I’ve been really curious if “a nightmare of a galactic crisis” was just a coincidence or a deliberate lore inspired word choice, hence why I’ve steered away from capitalist idiot nightmare….it’s fun to write him like that though.

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 1:11 PM

Also, if it’s a prequel… where the hell does Tiff go? The Cappies? Cappy Town? Dedede just abandons everybody for no reason and there’s a fountain powered by something that Kirby had to create by eating?

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:11 PM

schrodingers cappytown

AzuraLast Wednesday at 1:12 PM

I would like to know my own headcanons give my own appreciation to both the anime and the games. Games can’t stand alone with their bare bones and the anime can always be expanded upon. Nothing wrong with having fun while writing, that’s all it is, isn’t it?

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:13 PM

honestly i think the best way to write kirby stuff is anime/game fusions

i wonder if it’s because thats what i write HMMMMMMEIUGUIERGHERG

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 1:13 PM

I fuse. I go by manga lore.

Novel, whatever.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:13 PM

novel lore or bust

AzuraLast Wednesday at 1:14 PM

I fuse because it feels the most natural for me.

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 1:14 PM

Because the novels actually build on it! They don’t pop backstory in everywhere! It’s just a Kirby game with more explanations for stuff in it!

StarRodPiplupLast Wednesday at 1:14 PM

I just wanna write about an evil vampiric wizard for some reason

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:14 PM

the games do need something to help them, i believe. when it comes to content creation of the purely fic type, anywayscourtesycalling does great one-shot comics and what not, they do game lore to the t because their comics are.. well.. oneshots. they’re satisfying by themselves

anyways i’ve got a lot of feelings on people decrying the anime as bad or cool to hate then taking things from the anime and putting it into game lore. that’s mostly what this is about

AzuraLast Wednesday at 1:17 PM

It seems kind of hypocritical in a sense too, doesn’t it?“Oh, I hate the anime but love the games but I’ll piss on the anime as I write my fic because even though I love the games I need to strong bones of the anime to hold me up as I write my fic.”

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:18 PM

yeah that’s sorta what im on about here thank you for summarizing it for me

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 1:18 PM

Yep! I joke about it a lot myself.Especially people using 4kids voices when they say 4Kids is trash.

AzuraLast Wednesday at 1:18 PM

Same, all it seems to be is a freaking joke.

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 1:18 PM

Sorry for turning this into a Steven Universe-esque debate thread.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:19 PM

i instigated it

:v

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 1:19 PM

:v

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:19 PM

it’s an interesting thread anyways so

[cherrifaerie]

i was wondering if you have any tips for digital painting? i rlly love how your lineless looks and i wanted to try a cute style like that

waaa first of all thank you for your patience bc i know ive taken forever to answer this as i always do with tutorials…oops…..and also thank you im glad you think my style is cute!!!! im gonna do my best to help you out with lineless so here we go! LONG POST UNDER THE CUT!

to start i mainly use these two brushes (yes…just two…) from kyle webster’s gouache pack which is only available to adobe cloud subscribers now, but im sure a quick google search for gouache brushes for (insert program you use) can find some that will work just fine. these two look pretty similar but the difference is the one on the right is a bit softer and more easily opaque so i use it for light shadows, blush, etc. i think textured brushes like gouache paint and dry media ones make lineless look extra cool but thats just me!

OK ON TO THE TUTORIAL i know you just asked for tips but i was doodling a girl for a warm up and i thought id just take you through how i colored her. started w a sketch + set that layer to 23% opacity and laid down flat colors below it

after i set my base colors i turn off the sketch and start workin on shading! im startin with the hair here bc i think it can be harder to paint and work with in general for lots of ppl

i used three colors here for the hair:

- the lightest color is the base. pretty simple 

- using the middle color, took gouache blair brush and made light strokes downward following the flow of the hair from the root to the tip. make sure you think about where the hair begins on the head and follow the direction it goes from there when shading/making lines/making highlights!! 

i kept it simple for tutorial’s sake, but play around with how dark you want the shades to be and how much shading you want! (also these aren’t shades per se since they arent shadows being cast, just a darker color to give the hair a little variation in texture and color and to create a kind of shine effect but idk what else to call em! i guess theyre highlights! i just know it looks nice!)  

- took a slightly darker color and added some lines here and there to break things up and further show the direction the hair is moving in

for a little more visual on the direction thing see this handy graphic i made:

i didn’t write DONT and DO bc my way is not like…the ultimate Chosen way…if you wanna go for a style with the shading i did on the left then totally do it but personally i think it reads better this way so ya!! theres no right or wrong way to make your own art but there are ways that can make things a bit more interesting and clear if you choose to use them!

and yeah i basically use the same methods to paint skin and fabric and even backgrounds. it’s really just as simple as keeping things flowing in a natural direction and picking colors that u think look nice to paint with!

FINISHED PIC:

i dont wanna make this tut super long and ramble forever so here’s the last things i did to finish up!

- turned the sketch back on momentarily to draw in the eye, mouth, & eyebrow (no painting or shading involved there usually)

- used gouache a go go brush (or a softer/less opaque brush of your choice) to add a bit of blush to the cheek. i usually add blush with a light circular motion bc it gives them a nice rounded look. i use light pressure because a) more pressure means darker color and i want the blush to be subtle and b) more pressure also means less texture and more solid color, and i prefer having the scratchy look with the base skin color showing thru.

- used more pressure and a darker, more orange color to create a sharp shadow on the skin + define the neck & inner ear shape with lines

- added desaturated aqua blue over the top of the hair to create a shadow effect and add another color to the palette

- added the same blue color very lightly on the neck & blended it with the orangey shade (in other words, lightly brushed over it with the orange) to make the shadow more interesting. layering in multiple colors can always help make lineless things look more detailed even if its just a tiny bit!

i hope this doesnt seem like a ton of steps added on at the end bc it took me like way longer to write this (because i ramble) than it did for me to draw it! i love working with lineless because of how easy it can be to slap on some varying colors and defining lines to make something look a lot cooler and more detailed. as long as you keep your shades and stuff on separate layers its easy to try out things and see what you like best so i encourage you to do so! best of luck!

[bnha-hcs]

Winning Their Heart - Chapter 1 - Bakugou Katsuki

Ahhhh this is at like,,,, 3 Am for me and idk why it took me like a year to write this I literally started on this as soon as I go home around 9:30??? 

Anywho, here’s the first chapter! I hope you all enjoy because Todoroki is up next!! 

---------------------------------

Words: 3,139

The cool breeze of Autumn had you furiously trying to keep your nose buried into your scarf and your hands tucked away in the pockets of your jacket. Walking to school had its perks but you were certainly feeling waves of regret after declining the offer for your parents to drive you today. An aggravated sigh left your lips as you made your way down the sidewalk until you were at the gates of the school. You see Bakugou a ways off, about halfway down the path towards to doors to the school and you pick up your pace a bit to attempt to catch up to him. He pretends not to notice you as you slide up next to him, almost breathless.

“You’re early again today!” You chirp keeping pace with him.

“Yeah, what of it?” He grumbles as he throws open one of the doors to the building. You note how he holds it open a second longer for you to slip in.

“Well, you’ve been getting here early for the past few days now.” You point out. He stops to give you a slightly annoyed look but you continue. “Any particular reason?”

“Why don’t you just mind your own goddamn business…?!” He snaps at you quickly. You hum in response, not even batting an eyelash at his little flare up at you.

“I knew it, so there is a reason!” You say, going to waggle your finger in his face. “I bet it’s because-”

You’re cut off when the red eyes male grabs your hand in his face and pulls you forward, much closer than you’d ever been to him before and he gives you a heated glare. By the luck of the gods, you were so happy that your cheeks were still nipped from the cold air outside or your red cheeks would have given you away instantly. While staring into his eyes, yours wide with surprise, his grip on your hand tightened and you could hear your erratic heartbeat in your ears.

“I said, mind your fucking business, shit head.” He growls before letting you go a little harshly. Bakugou’s quick to make his exit in a right huff, small explosions emanating from his calloused hands.

You stand there and blink, once, twice, three times before you finally can get yourself to move. Well that was odd... Never in your life had you seen him be so defensive over a reason for being somewhere. It gets the gears in your head turning and while you slipped on your school shoes you pondered reasons on his sudden need to be here at an earlier time. You’re lost in thought for the rest of the morning while oblivious to the gaze of a certain ashen blond boy.

After getting to your seat and sitting down, Bakugou leans back, feet on his desk while he silently broods over his own thoughts. You’re sure he’s enraptured in his own thoughts about classes and becoming a hero but little did you know that most of his thoughts were completely elsewhere. Peeking in, one could see that his thoughts were actually about you, and more specifically, why the hell he even liked you in the first place. To be completely honest, he had liked you for a while now, but Bakugou wouldn’t be Bakugou unless he vehemently denied anything akin to feelings for anybody. So he did, and for a long while, too. Though it’s no secret that the harder he tried to push away his growing feelings for you, the stronger they came back whenever he was alone with you.

Like this morning…

This morning, even though classes still haven’t started yet, he felt like you were a little too smart for your own good. He had regrettably cut you off before you had said what you were thinking, which could either being a blessing or a curse. He didn’t need your ass finding out about his situation too quickly, but now he was worried that you actually knew. And it would be a little too soon as it is anyways, since he had only recently come to terms with these things called feelings. Yes, the things that made his heart pick up when he heard your voice, and cause him to falter in his normal aggression towards everyone. You had refused to leave him alone since day one, determined to befriend him for one reason or another and even though he hated to admit it, Bakugou had let you whittle away a piece of the walls surrounding his heart and now had yourself as a chink in his armor.

His thoughts were subverted as the door slid open to reveal more or less a good other chunk of the class. Kirishima and Kaminari had already began to make their way over to him, no doubt to bother him about some new novelty they had found on the internet. Bakugou grumbled something under his breath before shooting you a quick glance, seeing you also making your way over. It was going to be a long day…

-----

On his way back from lunch, Bakugou found himself awash with thoughts about you. Annoyingly enough you were already beside him, going on about some weird thing you saw on the internet. Or was it about the cute cat you had seen the other day? He wasn’t sure where the conversation had drifted to because he was busy with his own thoughts. Just how the hell was he going to try to confess his feelings to you? How do people do this sort of thing in the first place? Knowing you, if he just flat out said that he liked you, you’d probably think he was playing some sort of cruel joke on you. And he wouldn’t be able to convince you otherwise unless he wanted to kiss you in front of a bunch of complete strangers and classmates.

Maybe if he was nicer to you he’d gain more ground on trying to hint the idea to you. For a second he tried to smile, causing your face to fall and give him a scared look.

“Bakugou? Are you okay? Something weird is happening to your face!” You panicked, going to try and shove your face into his to get a better look. For some reason, you not understanding him trying to smile really pissed him off.

“S-Shut up! I’m fucking fine just get your shitty face out of mine!” He yelled.

Ugh, so that was a no… Man he was so goddamn lucky the others weren’t around to see that mess. He watched you and the quizzical look you wore on your face while you opened your mouth to say something, but closed it a few seconds later, thinking it best to drop whatever the hell you just witnessed. He felt so fucking embarrassed hoooo boy this was a new layer of suffering he had just entered. Bakugou trudged off down the hall with you attempting to trail behind, mad at both you, and himself.

-----

Bakugou was beside himself on what to do when it came to confessing to you. Maybe he should go old fashioned and get you some flowers? People like flowers right? But flowers coming from someone like him might send the wrong message. Like he was already planning your funeral or something akin to the world ending. Plus that just wasn’t him at all… Get that weak ass shit outta here! But the problem was, there was no real sort of Bakugou way of confessing to you. It’s not like he could blast apart a wall and have it look like a heart shape for you. He could, but who the hell would even do that? Just thinking about it made him cringe at himself. Just what was he going to do?

“Hey Baks, what’s with the face?” Kirishima asked, leaning over while standing by Bakugou’s desk. There was a break and Kirishima had come over to discuss his new, manly, training routine for his early mornings.

“None of your business shitty hair.” He grumbled, glancing behind himself quickly to get a glimpse of you before rummaging through his pockets for his phone.

He stopped when he heard Kirishima let out a small sort of squeal, loud enough for Bakugou to hear and stun him for a second. It took him a good few moments to understand just what Kirishima was making such a fuss about until he looked up at him again.

“You like, (Y/N).” Kirishima said quietly.

Bakugou shot up out of his seat suddenly and went straight for the door with the red haired boy chasing after him. It took everything in his being not to sock the guy in the face with a good ol fashioned explosion, especially since he was already low on patience as it was.

“If you fucking say anything I’ll kill you!” Bakugou yelled, suddenly turning on his heel and grabbing Kirishima by the front of his shirt.

“Whoa, whoa! Who said I was gonna tell?” Kirishima defended himself. “I think this could be great for you y’know? Get a nice partner, settle down a little bit…”

“Fuck off!” He snapped back.

“Come on dude, me and the squad can help you out. (Y/N) is totally your type and-”

The door to the classroom down the hall and your head peeked out, looking at the two of them curiously. Kirishima looked back and forth between you and Bakugou while you stepped out into the hall a little.

“Uh, class is about to begin so… You might wanna wrap up whatever you’re doing out here.” You called from the doorway. There was a small pause, borderlining on something akin to awkward, that you all had to deal with before you slipped back into the classroom. As soon as you were gone, Kirishima whipped his head over to looked at the seething Bakugou, who looked a little more than flustered.

“Stay out of this.”

-----

It was the end of the day, and boy was Bakugou spent both emotionally and mentally. He watched as you tucked your face into your scarf before looking out from the glass door to the outside. You were bundled up in a big jacket and a scarf that made you look particularly pleasant to hug. In fact, he had to resist the sudden urge to wander over there and hug you from behind; a sort of gesture he had been thinking of doing to you multiple times throughout the day. Instead he came up beside you and pressed his hand against the door, waiting a second before he said anything.

“Are you going or not?” He asked gruffly.

“Might as well… I’m going to have to go out eventually.” You hummed a little sadly.

He wasn’t really sure how to respond so he pushed the door open after a good moment of standing there trying to figure out what to say or do. You followed him out the door and let out a small squeak a large gust of cold air hit you right in your face, causing your scarf to go flying. A fair amount of startled noises left you and you were pretty sure Bakugou was a little weirded out by them as you desperately tried to catch your runaway scarf. When the wind finally settled down the scarf went to land neatly at Bakugou’s feet, to which he let out his signature ‘tch’ at. Grabbing it he trudged over to you, who stood there a little dumbfounded and embarrassed.

“Here, lemme fucking do it since you can’t apparently.” He griped while stepping in front of you.

You didn’t say anything, instead opting to stand there and let him wrap your own scarf around you. It was a little bit of a slow process, the wind still continuing to batter you senseless. By the time he was finished you were shivering more than ever now. Bakugou frowned at you, eyebrows knitting together in some mix between anger for the fact that you didn’t bring a heavier jacket, and concern for you.

“You should’ve brought a bigger jacket, dumbass.” He said, obviously talking about your shaking form.

“I didn’t think it was going to get colder.” You whined trying to hug yourself for warmth.

You heard his little ‘tch’ once more and before you knew it, Bakugou was dragging you with him by the wrist and down the pathway out of the front gates. You sputtered out a long jumble of words since you were caught completely off guard, but you couldn’t help the fluttering feeling in your chest from his hand on your wrist. It was different from this morning, and you weren’t too sure what and how you should be feeling right now.

“W-Where are we going?” You asked breathlessly trying to keep pace with him.

“This cafe down the street, so you won’t fucking freeze to death.” He stated flatly, as if were the most obvious thing in the world.

It didn’t take long for you to get to the cafe he was talking about and the warmth you felt as soon as the two of you walked through the door was very much welcome. You breathed a sigh of relief both from the fact that you weren’t going to freeze to death and also from finally getting to catch your breath after running down the entire street to get here. Looking over to Bakugou you noted that he had barely broken a sweat making you feel like you were completely out of shape. You sighed, oddly content with your mixed emotions.

“Are you sure they’re just gonna let us hang here?” You asked, suddenly remembering that you hadn’t brought your wallet today.

“No, just go order something.” He said scanning the menu board himself.

“Well, I don’t have any money.” You mumbled scratching the back of your head. You half expected Bakugou to get angry at you, but he was already taking out his wallet and shoving you forward to the counter.

“Go.”

“W-Wait are you sure this is okay I don’t want you to have to-”

“Hello! How can I help you?” The lady at the counter cut your blubbering off and it took another glance at the boy you were with before you could order something.

“Um, I’ll just take a small, green tea latte please…” You said quietly, puffing out your cheeks.

“And I’ll get a medium coffee, no room for anything.” Bakugou said holding out what looked like a credit card.

Once the transaction was approved and everything, the two of you sat down at a small table towards the center of the cafe. It wasn’t too far in considering how you weren’t too sure how long you were staying, yet you wanted to stay away from the windows as much as possible. Bakugou sat across from you, his usual small frown on his face as he checked his phone. You sat there, awkwardly twiddling your thumbs as you waited patiently for your drinks.

“Thanks for paying for my drink… It was really sweet of you.” You said quietly, looking away.

He froze. You? Calling him sweet?? It almost sounded impossible to describe someone as bitter and spicy as Bakugou is as sweet. He stared at you in disbelief, even as the server came over to set down his coffee. It wasn’t until his phone buzzed after a few minutes did he do something. A message popped up on his screen from Kirishima. Although, the message completely and utterly confused him when he read it.

:Shitty Hair:

:: Why haven’t you drank your coffee yet? ::

What the fuck.

Looking up and behind a confused looking you, he saw a table of vaguely familiar looking people who he then recognized as the Bakusquad. He was SO going to kill Kirishima tomorrow. All of them really, no one was exempt from this upcoming thrashing.

:Bakuhoe:

:: Get the fuck out of here or I’ll kill every single one of you ::

Bakugou let his face fall in his hands and let out a frustrated sigh before looking back up at you, who looked extremely confused and concerned. You placed a hand to his forehead making him stop in his tracks and focus on this strange new feeling of you touching his face.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been so weird all day.” You said, worry lacing your voice.

“I’m fine, I’m just being pestered by Kirishima.” He said the last part a little loud, earning various chuckles from the table of Kirishima and the gang.

“Okay…” You said slowly. “If you say so.”

Bakugou let out some sort of guttural noise when another text came in from Kirishima. He was at his wits end at this point and he was literally this (THIS) close to going over there and running them out of the cafe. Though, if he did that he’d surely be kicked out for life for harassing customers.

:Shitty Hair:

:: When are you going to confess? ::

:Bakuhoe:

::None of your fucking business asswipe ::

:Shitty Hair:

:: If you don’t do it now we’re going to go over and tell them ::

:Bakuhoe:

:: You wouldn’t fucking dare ::

The sudden rustling of people getting out of chairs made Bakugou shoot up out of his chair and ball his fists up, almost as if daring them to come over. There was a rustling of people sitting back down, albeit much slower now. By now Bakugou was not only scaring you, but the staff at the cafe. Some of the customers were also giving him weird stares but it wasn’t like he cared about what they thought of him at all. The only thing he cared about right now was you. He sat back down and let out another sigh before going to pick up his cup to chug about half of its contents. Setting it down he leaned a bit over the table.

“Oi, I have something I need to tell you.” Bakugou said, gritting his teeth after catching your attention.

“I hope it’s an explanation for why you’re acting so weird.” You said slowly, but nonetheless gave him your attention.

“Just shut up and listen.” He quipped. There were a few moments of buffer time until he managed to actually say it. “I like you.”

Pause.

“You w h a t?” You asked, thinking you couldn’t have heard him right. “Are you sure?”

“Will you fucking go out with me or not?!” He asked a little forcefully.

“I will!” You said back before covering you mouth. You couldn’t believe you had actually said it but your sudden outburst had you both sitting there in a stunned silence. The blood rushed to your face and you couldn’t even manage to look at him; you could just feeling his heated gaze on you anyways.

“I.. I like you, too.”