#but like. dude. this looks bad AND it's not even a new or interesting idea

[astyrra]

a local, reasonably successful artist whose work i hate is having an exhibition and i got to have a very satisfying conversation with my boss about it (my boss also hates his work)

[spacedace]

Something I've seen in fics a few times but not for comedic effect is the idea that Constantine selling his soul so many times makes him look/feel Wrong to ghosts.

Like I love various Danny ghost shenanigans giving Constantine a heart attack in stories but just imagine that Constantine is like deeply, deeply unsettling for Ghosts & Liminals to be around.

To the point of whenever he and Danny meet for the first time at the Watchtower after Danny's joined the League, Constantine just walks in and upon turning to look at who just walked in Danny just shrieks like a small child and throws a chair at him out of reflex, diving behind Captain Marvel to use him as a magical human meat shield while screeching "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT???! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!" At the top of his lungs and doesn't stop until Batman makes Constantine leave.

Even after Zantanna explains Constantine's whole deal and Danny explains to the Justice League how totally fucked up that looks/feels like to him ("Dude, Ghosts are their core, for us you see that before you see the shape of whoever you're talking to. Like, imagine someone walks up to you with a face that looks like it's made out of a shattered plate and the pieces are bleeding"

Or like, imagine instead it's a thing were Jason and Jazz are dating and Jazz, Danny & Elle are invited over for a nice meet the family brunch - "Brunch is fun and casual!" Dick insisted, "Way less intimidating than if we had them over for dinner!") and Constantine pops in to talk to Bruce about a case.

And the second he walks into the room all three just shriek like they're from an episode of Scooby Doo.

Elle takes one look at Constantine and just nopes out of there so hard she doesn't even gk intangible as she throws herself out the window and starts flying for the hills. Danny screeches like a cat whose tail has been stepped on and jumps onto the ceiling and scrambles away. Jazz screams like a house wife from an old Looney Tunes cartoon and starts climbing Jason like a tree - which is a bit of a problem since she's half a foot taller than Jay and throwing his center of balance off a bit and now half of the plates are smashed on the floor.

Jason doesn't even notice though because he also is losing his shit over what the fuck that thing is and unlike Elle is far more interested in Fight rather than Flight and pulls out a gun - "Why'd you bring a gun to brunch?! Guns aren't fun or casual!" - and just starts unloading on Constantine (who is very lucky Jason has switched to non lethal rounds and that he's quick enough with his spells to largely keep most of the rubber bullets from hitting him) also while screaming at the top of his lungs.

And well, turns out Jason's new girlfriend is the older sister of that ghost hero the League's been looking to recruit and Bruce is gonna take advantage of that - Phantom has been hard to pin down, which is fair, bad history with government agencies trying to kill him and all - to talk to him about a place with JL, though first he's going to have to get him down from the ceiling and that'd be a lot easier if Constantine would just leave already, they are supposed to be having a family brunch this is his one day off!

(Elle screams her all the way to Metropolis and doesn't stop until she nearly knocks Superman out of the sky. He isn’t really sure what's going on, but he does manage to calm her down and takes her to go get some ice cream. When he pitches joining JL she tells him that she thinks he's kinda lame but that Superboy is cool so she's down. It's...honestly kinda devastating but Clark manages to get through it.

A note gets made when the two ghost heroes officially join the League that partnerships with Constantine should be kept at an absolute minimum.)

And lol yeah, just, Constantine being utterly terrifying to Danny and the Pham

[ncteez]

charity f*ck (k.s)

Have you ever taken anyone’s virginity before? Well, yeah, your first time was both losing your own and taking someone else’s but, that was a long time ago. Have you ever taken the virginity of a twenty-six-year-old man who probably should have gotten laid by now anyway? Nope. Are you about to? Yep.

or the one where soonyoung has a streak of bad luck in bed and his friends make fun of him for it, you find him advertising himself on a dating app and decide to help him out.

ao3 | m.list | minors dni! | kindly leave feedback and reblog, i will kiss your forehead so fucking fast if you do. 

WORDCOUNT― 12.2k

PAIRING― soonyoung x afab reader 

CONTENT― virgin guy who lives with his parents!soonyoung, he’s not shy but he is very clumsy, a lot of texting so be prepared for that format for a lil bit (THIS IS NOT A SOCIAL MEDIA AU), facetime-sex, real life sex

SIDE CHARACTERS― Vernon as reader’s best friend and roommate, Seungcheol briefly as Hoshi’s friend.

WARNINGS― he’s made fun of by his friends for being a virgin, this is not an indication that you shouldn’t remain a virgin if you still are one! it’s fictional and i do not agree with mocking someone for their virginity in real life.

NOTE― i love him and i like the idea of him being clumsy during sex, i also like the idea of him being inexperienced but suuuuuuper eager to pretend he knows what he’s doing. shoutout to my redacted wife @onlyseokmins for proof reading this <3 

smut tags under cut:: 

smut tags―big huge dick soonyoung, phone sex (ish), face time sex,  masturbation, pet name: baby, making out, he eats you out twice, fingering, whining and whimpering, deep throating, premature ejaculation, desperate man wants his dick wet lmao, grinding, tit fondling/licking, clit stimulation, he bites the fuck out of his tongue to try and distract himself from coming too soon again,  no condom aka cream pie, soonyoung gets feelings like immediately when u touch him ~

“Check this shit out,” you laugh, presenting your phone to Vernon with a chuckle. “right or left?”

Vernon snorts, nearly spitting out the bite of food in his mouth as he reads the bio of the man you’re showing to him.

“Depends, you trying to take his innocence or are you trying to get railed so hard that the entire building can hear?” He narrows his eyes at you, making a point to call you out for keeping him awake last weekend. 

You wave him off with an apologetic look. To be fair, the dude from before knew how to make a girl moan, it’s not your fault that you managed to find a decent lay in this city. Even if he ghosted you, you assume you may have been a bad lay for him, if anything. 

“I wouldn’t mind trying something new, dude seems desperate.” You swipe through his photos, seeing that he appears to be just a normal dude with normal interests. “He’s cute too, so I’m swiping right.”

Vernon groans this time, slapping a hand to his forehead and glaring at you. 

“You’d better warn me if you end up bringing him home, I’m not about to listen to some guy start crying over a blowjob.”

You nod to him, sending a message to the eighty-six-year-old Soonyoung and feeling delighted at his near-instant response to you. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll make sure you’re out of the apartment if I invite him over,” You wiggle your brows as you stand to your feet and turn toward your room, eyes now glued to the open dating app’s messages. “Maybe you should go out and find a nice girl to rail to get back at me.”

“You’re so fucking weird.” Vernon laughs but feels kind of shitty because it’s not like he hasn’t been trying to get back at you for the loud sex. Guess he just doesn’t have the magic dick to make girls moan the way you do. 

Not that he wants to make you moan or anything, he definitely doesn’t. If anything, he wishes you were more like the girls he brings home.

~

You: i’ve never seen a virgin grandpa on this app before 

Soonyoung: ….i’m 26, it says that in my bio

You: I think you’re lying. 

Soonyoung: do u know how to change it, my bitch friends won't tell me lol

You: why would i help you lie to the women in our city

Soonyoung: i’m not lying!!1

You laugh to yourself as you text the new sex interest in your life, wondering if he’s lying about his presumed virginity. 

You: ok, twenty-six-year-old “hoshi” who is five miles away from me, you’re actually a virgin? Like for real?

Soonyoung: yea….are u here to make fun of me for it too? all the girls here just turn me down even if i offer to cook for them after

You: you’re really just looking to get laid for the first time, ever? and you’re offering to cook dinner too?

Soonyoung: yea

You: you’ve never had a blowjob or anything like that? you can’t seriously think I can believe you’re 26 and have never been laid, it’s not like you’re ugly or anything

Soonyoung: u don’t think im ugly? :) 

Soonyoung: and yea I’ve had a blowjob before

You: why didn’t you sleep with her then?

Soonyoung: can we stop talking about why im a virgin

You: for now, but im gonna ask again eventually.

You’re smiling at your phone, finding him charming and awkward in how he communicates with you via messenger. Of course, you’re curious as to why he’s a virgin, even more, curious as to why he’s on a dating app looking to lose said virginity. 

You: do you want my number? it’s embarrassing to have the app open in public if i wanna talk to you.

Soonyoung, on the other hand, is quite literally kicking his feet and checking your profile every few minutes just to look at you. He didn’t even think too hard about you calling him attractive then not following up on it, because the fact that you just offered your number to him in case you want to talk to him? Butterflies. Given, it’s juvenile for someone of his age to still be experiencing the typical high-school crush feelings, would anyone blame him? It’s just how he is, with or without having had sex. He can’t imagine not feeling giddy inside when he’s talking to someone that he thinks is pretty. 

Soonyoung: yea :) u can text me whenever [redacted phone number] 

You respond to him by texting his number rather than using the app messenger, screenshotting his contact info, and sending it to him with a sly smile. 

You: 

Grandpa Hoshi: :| 

Grandpa Hoshi: im 26

~

Okay so, here’s the thing. Soonyoung is undeniably funny, witty, and kind. Another thing, he’s wildly attractive. Especially upon fulfilling your request for a workout selfie from him. So, what gives? You read the texts he’s sent that made you laugh out loud, you look at his pictures, stare at the workout selfie, and you genuinely cannot understand how he doesn’t have women waiting in line to have at him. 

You: it’s been like four days since we started talking

Grandpa Hoshi: yep, almost five

You: four days of being friends but no mention of your bio on the app, yknow, where you’re begging to have sex for the first time ever?

Grandpa Hoshi: right, yea. you wanna do it? i didn’t wanna assume lol

You: not answering that til you explain why. i mean, it’s totally ok that you are but like, you’re a green flag all around so im a little worried you might have like a micropenis or something

Disclaimer, if he had a micropenis, you’d still let him use it on you. After all, hooking up is something you enjoy doing regardless of size.

Grandpa Hoshi: i do NOT have a micropenis

You: prove it

Grandpa Hoshi: right now???

You laugh to yourself but also like, it’s the first time the two of you have done anything more than bully each other. Or rather, you bully him and he defends himself constantly. 

You: answer my question first

It takes a few minutes for him to respond, but you’re doing coursework anyway so it’s not a huge deal. Totally not like your ears perk up and a smile creeps across your face every time your phone goes off or anything. Definitely not. 

Grandpa Hoshi: um… i still live with my parents and before u make fun of me for that pls understand that its not like i wanna be here 

Grandpa Hoshi: i have a job and everything!!! im not a mooch!

He’s getting off track again. You could honestly care less if he still lives with his parents. You wish you still lived with yours, to save money at least. 

You: they won’t let you have anyone over? 

Grandpa Hoshi: well, that too but 

Grandpa Hoshi: listen this sounds real stupid but it just never happened? even when i tried or things almost happened, it never did

You: damn, you’re unlucky. so what happened with the girl who gave you a blowjob?

Grandpa Hoshi: her boyfriend walked in

You: WHAT

You’re trying to pity him, honestly, but damn. Did he go for a taken girl? Yikes. You hate to admit the ick that just flooded your mind. 

Grandpa Hoshi: its not like i knew she had a boyfriend

You: phew 

Grandpa Hoshi: so yea. do u wanna help me out or not? 

The whole reason you started talking to him was specifically to help him out. Now that you know he’s not some weirdo, and is definitely super hot and funny, hell yes. 

You: yeah, sure. 

You: about the micropenis though, 

Grandpa Hoshi: right…um

A few minutes of silence, your coursework is long forgotten in the anticipation of receiving your first nude from Soonyoung. You wait, and you wait, and you wait.

You: i mean if you can’t prove it that's ok 

Grandpa Hoshi:  just give me a sec damn

He’s doing his best to get the most attractive angle. It’s not like he’s never sent nudes to anyone or anything, but like– this is you. The first person to actually agree to take his virginity. Should he hold it? Put a remote next to it for size? Should he have his face in the pic? Take a mirror pic? 

Of course, as he’s taking several pictures of his length to try and impress you, he had to get hard first. He can’t imagine you’d want a flaccid cock pic in your inbox, and that would also mean that he’s working himself up with the amount of touching, holding, and groping throughout the past sixteen photos he’s taken and deleted. It’s at the point that now it’s actually hard to care about taking a photo, pre-cum already dripping out of him as he continues to try.

He’s entered the realm of his regular horny self, only this time he’s texting you. Someone who wants to see what he’s packing. Taking a dick pic is insanely easy once he stops thinking with his brain, and he’s quick to send you a photo of himself this time. His chin at the top of the picture, face entirely hidden, hand wrapped around his thick and leaking cock, sweatpants shoved down. 

Grandpa Hoshi: [image attachment] 

In all fairness, you’ve never actually cared much for dick pics. Men always look too confident even with the smallest of girth being offered through the pixels. Soonyoung though. He looks a bit desperate even with his face hidden. His cock looks desperate, his fingers wrapped around it look desperate, the way his sweatpants hug against his thighs look desperate. And now, you feel desperate. You keep your cool though.

You: oh, you were jerking off, got it. 

Grandpa Hoshi: sorry can’t help it 

Then he doesn’t text you back. Which is kind of a drag because he looks to be quite big in the photo alone. Maybe you’d be okay just this once to look like the desperate one. Mostly because you’re about ten seconds from trying to figure out which direction five miles away he resides so you can go palm his cock for him. Plus, the idea of an absolute simp virgin like him seeing you act a little desperate would probably be one for the books. 

You: you know i can help you out with that, right? especially since you definitely don’t have a micropenis

You’re still being ignored. The silence from your phone makes your belly flip around inside of you at the image of him doing it too. He probably does it a lot. He’s probably desperate to feel good, you can imagine how he’d act if you were in front of him right now, the very idea of taking his virginity becoming entirely too attractive.

Shrugging, knowing full well what he’s doing right now in order to ignore you, you press the call button and wait. You’re a little bit nervous, mostly because you’ve never actually heard his voice before, or better yet how he sounds when he’s getting off. You’re shocked that he actually answers. 

“Hello?” He says, muffled through the phone and trying to sound not-so-out-of-breath. It’s not like he looked at who was calling him anyway. With his luck, it’s probably Seungcheol or some shit.

“Don’t hello me,” You gripe, narrowing your eyes at yourself in your mirror. “You’re just gonna jerk off without me after I agreed to help you fix your little problem?” 

The silence on his end is a bit nerve-wracking until you hear the frantic sound of his palm clearly wreaking havoc on him. You smirk, leaning back on your chair and sighing. On his end, processing that it was you on the other line sent his entire body into a state of burning with arousal. Your voice is sweet even when you speak with the same sarcasm as usual. God, this alone is enough for him right now. 

“Were you at least thinking of me?”

He hums into the phone, indicating that yes, that’s exactly what he’s doing. His voice is kind of soft despite only hearing one word and a hum, you want to actually hear him talk to you, or moan, whichever he decides. 

“Were you looking at my pictures?”

He nods his head, forgetting that you’re not able to see him and instantly responds with a small and breathy yes instead. It’s a bit difficult for him right now to talk, especially now that he can put a voice to the photos he’s been jerking off to. It’s a bit overwhelming, actually.

“Do you want better ones?” You ask, encouraging him to speak a bit more. 

“Oh god, really?” He asks through the speaker, his hand pausing on his length as if to hold off until you confirm. “Like, nudes?”

“Mhm, yeah. If you want.” You smile as you speak to him, already standing to shimmy your pajamas off of you and stand in front of the mirror. “Or, you know what would be better?”

Letting me come over and actually do it? That’s what he wants to say to you, but he doesn’t, he simply raises a brow.

“What?” He asks, still keeping his responses short because despite how into this he is, he’s a bit shy about it. 

“I can facetime you.” 

He panics. That means you’ll be watching him too, right? Sure he’s sent nudes, he’s received nudes. He’s sent videos too, and received them. But never has he like, you know, live masturbated on facetime so someone else can watch. 

“If you don’t want to, that’s okay.” You backtrack at his silence, but you’re cut off almost immediately. 

“No! no, we can facetime–”

Your stomach flips again as you fix yourself quickly in the mirror before setting your phone against your desk and rolling back a bit in your chair to determine if it’ll work this way or not. It’s not like he’s expecting you to do it too, he probably just thinks you’re gonna sit here naked for him to stare at. You’re kind of excited to see him in action, to hear him in action for you.

You hit the button to switch the call over to facetime and once again adjust your phone as you stare at yourself in the camera. Then you’re needing to catch your breath at the image of him.

There he is, his camera angled towards his face and not at all toward what's going on below his waist, but you don’t mind at first. Look at him, the lighting clearly shows that he’s a fan of mood lighting. You watch his eyes briefly, staring through the screen at you before moving your eyes to his arm, the one that clearly isn’t holding his phone because you can see it moving as he continues to jerk himself off. It’s an interesting feeling to have only seen him in photos until this moment, and it’s insanely attractive for some reason. Seeing him in motion, knowing what he’s doing, knowing that he feels good right now because of you.

“Let me see,” you say quietly, adjusting your bra strap and preparing to slip it off of you if he so much as asks. “Prop your phone up somewhere like I did.”

He nods, his eyes still staring straight through his screen at you as he moves around and the image becomes a blur of movement rather than his face. He settles in quickly, somehow looking even more attractive with the way his eyes no longer stare at the screen. You can almost sense a hint of shyness from him at this moment and it kind of floors you, given how easy he is to talk to and how easily he sent a dick pic to you.

“Feeling shy?” You ask, spreading your legs wide and cupping the seat of your panties, hiding the small spot of wetness forming there. “You act like I’m not going to be touching you at some point soon.”

You see him perk up, his eyes looking to you on the screen with more fondness than arousal. At the same time, his hand grips the base of his cock as he holds it straight up, erect and glistening proudly for you to look at. 

“You look pretty big, bet you could fill me up so nicely,” You try to compliment, boosting his confidence and ego as best you can simply because he looks pretty with a smile on his face. Especially when his cock twitches at the words. “Would you want to do that for me, Hoshi?”

“Oh god,” He groans, hearing his nickname come from your mouth for the first time. His hand jerks up his length once, almost aggressively as he winces at it. 

“This is going to be so embarrassing.” He admits, sliding his palm up and down shamelessly now as he watches between your spread legs. 

“Embarrassing, why?” You chuckle, tapping now at the spot between your legs. “Can you not see that I’m just as turned on right now?”

He groans again, releasing his length and using that same hand to swipe his hair out of his face, then immediately grimacing at the fact that he now has pre-cum in his hair. Embarrassing, all of it. 

“Well,” He tries to avoid you bringing up the fact that he just did that and only shoots his hand back to his cock in order to distract whatever off-hand shit you’re about to say. “You don’t even have your panties off yet, and I could probably get off right now.”

You laugh, not wanting to ruin the mood with the whole cum on his own face thing, so you save that for later. Instead, you instantly slip your panties off and present yourself to him much like he’s doing for you. 

“Better?”

Soonyoung watched with his breath stuck in his throat, now finding it harder to breathe at the image of your pussy and the way he hopes he can touch it one day. 

“Can you–” He pauses, not being used to dirty talk towards anything other than the porn playing on his phone. He thinks hard, and you can see it based on the way he, once again, neglects his cock with an unmoving palm.

“Can I do what?  Go on,” You urge him, running a hand up to your chest and fondling your nipples right there in front of him, but not yet moving the fabric. “What do you want me to do for you, baby?”

Baby. You called him baby. Not that he’s into that but the fact that you did it makes him wonder if he is now. Maybe it’s because he wants you to take him for all he’s worth at this point. One, to get rid of the virginity looming over his head, and two, because you sound so fucking smooth when you’re watching him get off. 

“Can you spread your pussy for me?” He whispers at first, boring a hole through his screen as he watches one of your hands tease at your hidden nipples, and the other hand sliding up and down the wet folds there. So badly does he want to see it. He wants to see your hole pulsing for him, leaking, needy.

His cock twitches wildly the second you do it for him. Two fingers spreading your pussy open and tensing your hips just to move it closer to the screen for him. 

“You want to fuck this?” You chuckle softly, slowly dipping a finger into yourself and pulling it back out to present the wetness for him.

“Oh,” he sighs, now fucking into his fist at a pace that proves he’s most definitely never fucked a woman before. “Fuck.”

You nod at him, urging him to keep admitting his attraction to you. You’re aware he doesn’t see it though, as his hips continue to move quicker and quicker each time you press your finger into yourself. 

“You gonna act like this when I’m riding you?” You ask with a tilted head, studying how hard he’s fucking against his hand. You can imagine how good it would feel if it were you, and quite frankly, this one finger isn’t enough at this point. 

“God. You’re gonna ride me?” He moans, eyes rolling only slightly as he imagines it. 

“Mhm,” you hum, now sliding in another finger and scissoring yourself open with them. “Would you want that?”

Before you can even work yourself up, and before he can even answer that question, you see him release. His cum shooting out in spurts across his stomach and nearly up to his chest. His labored breathing shifts the lighting against his abs and makes it look so entirely delicious. You’ve never wanted to lick a man clean so badly in your life.

You’re not even upset that he didn’t make it into the knitty gritty, considering he’s a virgin and all and you’re literally fucking yourself in front of him while implying riding him. You’re actually flattered. 

His release caused him to see white for several moments, forgetting he’s even on camera for you. When he comes back to reality, watching you continue to finger yourself as your eyes scan your screen, all he can do is feel bashful. 

“Shit, sorry,” He comments with a half laugh, looking down at his cum covered chest before looking at you again. Honestly, he could probably go again if you let him watch for a bit longer, but he’s embarrassed now. “I uh, didn’t mean to come that fast. It just kind of happened.”

“It’s okay,” You comfort him, slightly out of breath as you wonder if this is all you’re gonna get tonight. “It was cute.”

After a few moments, you sense his embarrassment and slowly slip yourself back into a sobering headspace, closing your legs and trying to ignore how wet you still are.

“Are you, um, done?” Soonyoung says, disappointed.

“Mm, no.” You smile. “But it’s okay, I’d rather make you come first anyway.”

His face lights up despite the disappointment in his gut of not being able to see you get off. 

“You still wanna see me after this?”

You nod with a smile, endeared by his need to give, but inability to do it.

“When are you free?” You ask, wondering if he’s ever going to clean himself up. 

“Whenever you are.” He laughs, scratching the back of his head with, once again, the same cum-stained hand. 

“I’ll text you later then,” You smile through the screen and give a small wave before your genuine smile turns into a smirk. “After I take care of my little problem though.”

You notice him sitting up in protest, but you hang up with a satisfied laugh and head to the shower to both finish yourself off and clean up.

~

Grandpa Hoshi: what about 3pm on thurs?

You: you want to lose your virginity at 3pm….on a thursday???

Grandpa Hoshi: my parents have plans so ill have the house to myself for a few hours

You: or you could just come here? 

Grandpa Hoshi: if ur comfortable with that? i thought u were supposed to come here lol

You: im comfortable, plus my roommate will kick your ass if you’re weird

Soonyoung contemplates hard on that last part but shrugs over it. Probably a girl thing, and it’s not like he’s an actual creep or anything. You’d be the one with power over him when the two of you are alone anyway. 

You: what about tomorrow, 8pm? 

Tomorrow. Hell yeah, tomorrow. Hell, he’d show up right the fuck now if you let him. He may live with his parents but he’s got a car. 

Grandpa Hoshi: send ur address, ill be there :) 

~

“Tomorrow, you’ll be a man.” Seungcheol croaks through the speaker at Soonyoung, totally assuming that this whole virginity loss dating app plan was actually just a joke. 

“Why do you have to say it that way?” Soonyoung groans back, slapping his hand over his forehead and rubbing his temples. “I didn’t think anyone was actually gonna come through, she’s the first one.”

“What makes you think she’s actually gonna send you her address?” Seungcheol laughs, once again placing more pity onto his best friend than anything else. “She’s probably not even a real person, you’re gonna end up at some old guy’s house.”

Soonyoung laughs, or snorts really. 

“Oh, she’s real.”

Seungcheol sits up in curiosity this time, switching his phone to the other ear with interest. 

“Hm? Have you already met her?”

“Kind of. We like, um,” Soonyoung pauses, wondering if he sounds way too excited to tell him or not. “We facetimed a few hours ago.”

Silence.

“She got naked.”

“Oh ho ho!” Seungcheol encourages him. “So you guys did some stuff on facetime and she still wants to meet you?” 

“That’s what I said!--” Soonyoung smiles to himself, about two seconds from kicking his feet before realizing what Seungcheol just said. “Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“You’re kind of a loser, we’ve been over this.” Seungcheol laughs yet again. “Call me when you get your cherry popped or whatever.”

Then he hangs up. 

Grandpa Hoshi: do u think im a loser?

You: yeah kinda

You’re laughing at his text as you sit across the table from Vernon.

“That him texting?” Vernon quirks a brow, watching you smile at your phone and practically ignore him. 

You laugh again at Soonyoung’s string of defensive texts before responding with a short “it’s okay, i like losers”, and putting your phone down to finish telling Vernon that he’s gonna get kicked out tomorrow for the night. 

“So,” You clap your hands in front of yourself, glaring at Vernon. “You’re gonna have to be gone tomorrow at eight because I'm about to literally obliterate this guy.”

“Jesus, I’m scared for him.”

“You should be scared for me. Because, well…” You trail off for a second, scrolling up your texts to see the dick pic Soonyoung sent before the facetime call. “He’s huge and–”

“I did not need to know that.” Vernon sighs, scooting back in his chair and standing to his feet. 

“You act like you’re not curious nearly every time I meet someone.” You roll your eyes at him, smiling.

Vernon stands there awkwardly before shrugging and lunging for your phone. 

“How big?” He laughs, not actually trying to see the dude’s dick but always way too curious for his own good despite never wanting to be around to hear what the big dicks do to his best friend. 

“Stop prying, you’ll get jealous.”

He scoffs, brushing off his pants of invisible dust and crossing his arms. 

“I’ll have you know, my dick is perfectly sized.”

“I’m sure it is. Anyway, tomorrow, be gone.” 

He nods, sauntering to the living room and flopping down on the couch. 

“Keep it in your room, please. I don’t want to sit on his gross body fluids when I come home.”

~

It’s Thursday. It’s approximately seven in the evening on Thursday and you’re well aware that Soonyoung is probably bubbling with anxiety if his texts are anything to go by. 

So many are you sures, so many you can tell me to leave if you decide you don’t want tos, and even more i can’t wait to see yous. 

“Vernon, aren’t you supposed to be leaving?” You ask, opening the fridge to pull out a bottled water. 

You’ve already showered again today, primped yourself up for him really. Everything smooth, soft, and ready to be touched. You wonder if Soonyoung is doing the same, and smile.

“Hm, yeah. But I kinda wanna see him before I leave.”

You turn your head to him with a curious look, glaring only slightly.

“I swear to god if you scare him off, I’m kicking you out.”

Vernon laughs, patting the couch as if to invite you to sit with him to ease your own anxiety. He can smell the familiar lotion you use before dates, and he notes that you’ve really tried to look good today. 

“I think you might kill him, if I’m being honest.” Your best friend laughs softly, complimenting you. 

“Thanks, that’s the plan.”

And so, the two of you sit together laughing at stupid comedy shows until your phone lights up at around eight fifteen. 

Grandpa Hoshi: i’m a little early, is that ok? 

“Oh shit, he’s here.” You immediately feel nervous, which is pretty normal for you anyway so it’s easily overlooked by Vernon. 

He jumps up, brushing off his clothes and walking toward the kitchen to grab his keys and wallet. 

“Let him in then, I’ll leave when he gets here.”

You give him a knowing look before nodding. 

You: second floor, take a left when you get to the top of the stairs, third apartment on the left.

Within minutes, there’s a very gentle knock on the door and Vernon is throwing himself at it to get a look at him. Unfortunately it’s a bit more awkward than he expected it to be. 

Not only did Soonyoung think your roommate was a woman, but he, at the very least, expected you to answer the door. He was preparing himself all day for this moment, to knock on your door and have you open it. At first he thought that maybe he even got the wrong apartment. 

“Oh, I think I got the wrong place, sorry–” 

“Nope, you’re in the right place.” Vernon smiles, stepping to the side and opening the door wider for him. “You can come in.”

Soonyoung does, awkwardly. Avoiding eye contact with Vernon and barely even looking into the apartment before stepping inside. 

“She’s excited, don’t worry.” Vernon whispers, throwing Soonyoung a wink before stepping out and closing the door behind him.

Soonyoung still hasn’t really looked up from the floor yet, and you make quick work to make him feel more comfortable. 

“Don’t mind him, that’s both my best friend and roommate.” You say, making your way toward him and trying your best not to stare because, okay, wow. He’s kind of ten times more attractive in person, which is fucking insane considering how good he looked through a screen. 

“Have you and him ever like…” Soonyoung immediately starts, realizing he might have made things weird. 

“Vernon?! Oh, god no.” You laugh, reaching for his arm and feeling him lean into it with relief. “You’re allowed to look up by the way. You’ve been staring at that crack in my floor since you got here.”

Immediately Soonyoung moves his eyes up to you, the eye contact feeling more intense than it should, but you’re locked in too. The awkwardness dissolves almost instantly, he feels no need to question you further about anything really, especially with the way he feels his throat run dry at the very idea of this whole plan actually happening at some point.

When he made his profile on that app, it was kind of a half joke until like, people started talking to him. Given, no one ever followed through but you, he’s happy he stuck with it. Happy you came out of the works from said dating app, happy you picked him. 

Really though, he picked you. Part of you wonders about why you want to take this from him. For power, for control, to be praised, to feel like you’re his entire world of desire for a brief time? All of those things, but you can admit now that he’s in front of you that it’s a bit intimidating. He’s not shy at all, just a bit awkward. He seems confident, he seems ready, and you find yourself lucky for being the one to get to do this for him, or with him. If at all, Soonyoung is the type of man you could see yourself hanging out with often, with or without having sex. 

Given, upon seeing him face to face for the first time, the only thing you thought about was how attractive he is. Now though, as you look back at him along with the silence of this apartment offering nothing more than awkwardness, it’s not. Because you’re seeing him for all he is and he appears to not be able to help it. Is this what people mean when they say there’s an instant spark between two people? Despite how attractive he is, you find yourself thinking of how many times he’s made you laugh. How many times he’s embarrassed himself, and now for the first time he’s right there and all you want to do is…give him exactly what he wants, or needs. Whichever. 

“Okay, listen,” You start, swallowing around a lump in your throat as you feel your body heat up at record speed by just having his eyes looking into yours. You know by this point that you’re not going to be keeping your hands to yourself at all. And for his sake, he’d probably prefer it that way. “If I move too fast, just tell me to stop.”

Soonyoung tilts his head with a dopey smile, eyes still fixed on you, scanning you, coming to terms with the fact that you’re absolutely everything he thought you would be and more. 

“I don’t think that’s gonna be an issue,” He admits, feeling his length confined within his pants twitch wildly at the entire situation. “I struggled not to get hard just driving over.” He laughs, looking away from you for the first time with flushed cheeks. 

You find that painfully adorable. No man would ever admit that to you. Especially after just a few minutes of meeting in person for the first time, but this is Soonyoung and in the short amount of time you’ve known him, you’re kind of expecting him to be really forward and say things that will have you frozen in thought.

“Oh yeah?” You ask, grabbing his hand and leading him to the kitchen. You’re pretending that his apparent inexperience isn’t getting to you, but you’re not really fooling anyone. “Let’s get you some water or something, I can see you drooling.”

Soonyoung laughs, shrugging because yeah maybe he’s drooling a little bit. You smell fucking immaculate, your hand is small in his but still manages to overpower him, your skin feels soft and slightly cold. Honestly, it’s dangerous just having you stand in front of him right now because he could absolutely blow his load just by you looking at him. Embarrassing? Always.

He follows after you, very nearly crowding up to you as the comfort sets in and the last bit of awkwardness leaves his mind. All he can think about is how you sounded over that facetime call. He’s seen what’s between your legs, and during that night all he could think about was touching you, fucking you. Now he’s here, and you’re right there. It’s hard not to crowd up, it’s hard not to cling to you, it’s hard not to be excited. Seeing your hand wrapping around that bottle of water to give to him, seeing you lean just before grabbing it– of course he’s staring. Of course he’s crowding closer, almost to the point that he’s up against your ass when you lean back up from the fridge.

You turn after grabbing him the bottle and become shocked by his close proximity when you face him. He looks down at you with a soft face, one that shows he’s not embarrassed by how he immediately attaches to you. His smile is just as clumsy as he is, you can tell he knows exactly what he’s doing too. You’re glad, because it makes it entirely too easy to drop the water bottle, grab his face, and chase his lips all the way until he’s against the counter and kissing you back. 

He sighs instantly into it, wincing at the way the kitchen counter hits his back, you pressing against him so harshly just to get that first taste of his lips. He’s excited that you seem as eager as him, maybe even as desperate as him. 

For you, a man has never been this eager just to kiss you, nor has a man ever kissed you this good. You can imagine that he’s probably got a lot of experience in terms of kissing, not much elsewhere though. You can tell by the way he moves his hands to all of the right places, but his blatant virginity shows through all of it as he becomes a horny mess almost instantly. 

His tongue is warm and wet, small whining sounds coming from his throat as you press yourself against him briefly. His hands never leave your body and he shows no shame in touching where he wants to touch. Rubbing, groping, and caressing every inch of your waist, ass, and even moving up to your face to deepen the kiss. His hips press forward almost constantly, and all you can do is brace yourself on the counter behind him to try and tame his relentless hips and obvious attempts at rushing what he wants right now. 

If you’re going to sleep with him though, he’s gonna get the full experience, not a quickie. Plus, you agreed to keep it in your room for Vernon’s sake. 

“Hey,” you sigh, trying to pull back from the kiss but he isn’t having it. Still kissing against you and running his lips down to your neck when you continue to speak. “We should go to my room, your first time isn’t about to be in my kitchen.”

“Why not?” He groans against your neck, kissing harshly with faint wet sounds, his hands wrapping tightly around your waist now. “I don’t care where we do it, i just want you like, really bad.”

Still, his lips don’t leave you, nor do his hands. You find yourself giggling against him with a shake of your head at the way he protests when you pry yourself from his grip. Of course, though, he’s immediately clinging to you and chasing after you to your bedroom before practically throwing himself at you again.

You barely get the door closed before he’s pressing you against it this time, hand running down again to your waist and easily snaking up your shirt just to feel the warmth of your skin. You let him, enjoying the way he kisses you for just the second time, enjoying more the way you can feel him lose his composure every few minutes from this alone. 

You’re kind of in love with the fact that he doesn’t seem to want to pull back even for a breath. He seems to love kissing, and you wonder what else he’ll come to love doing tonight too. From the way he moves his tongue and his lips on you, you can imagine he’d be fucking heavenly at eating pussy.

Successfully you push him away again, rushing to your bed before he can make you melt against his lips for a third time, and you’re instantly trying to present yourself to him much like you did over camera. 

“You’re really going to let me?” He asks with a deep breath, brushing his hair out of his face and wiping his mouth. His brain malfunctions at your presumed answer to that question, watching you take your panties and shorts off in one go and leaning back to spread your legs for him. 

At this moment, you’re all his and you make it a point to spread your pussy out for him like he asked you to do before. You can practically see his knees buckle that very instant.

“To think I wouldn’t want to do this is insane,” You say, wiggling your hips for him to see. “Look how wet I am.” You pause, studying the hungry look in his eyes. “Do you wanna try eating me out?”

He doesn’t even nod. He’s immediately on his knees against your bed and grabbing your thighs to pull you toward his face. You yelp only slightly at the movement, a chuckle coming out shortly after as you sit yourself up properly to take in the image of his eyes sparkling up at you. 

Your breath is caught in your throat, a small groan coming out at the image alone before you’re able to process words again. 

“Can’t believe how good you look down there,” You say softly, brushing his hair out of his face for him like he did to himself earlier. “Have you ever done this before?”

He shakes his head, eyes shifting from your pussy to your face. Regardless of your shock at that, he seems like he’s waiting for a green light so you decide to cut the compliments short and raise your brows at him. 

“Go on then.”

You watch him and the way he doesn’t seem to think at all when he does it. Once again, he’s adorable. His tongue goes everywhere, only grazing your clit briefly every few licks, never staying on it presumably because he’s in the process of finding the clit based on how your body reacts. 

He has a general idea of where it is, but the feeling of having your pussy on his lips alone is enough to overwhelm him with arousal. All he can do is taste and smell the mixture of your warmth along with the soap and lotion you must have used before he came here. 

He’s quite literally tasting the entirety of you and loving every second of it. The way his hands grip your legs, both spreading them further open so that he can tilt his head and lick at different angles, and then hugging them to where they almost lock his head in place. 

It feels like he does this for ages, learning your body and what makes your legs shake. He sucks in different places, kissing your entire pussy to the point that it’s almost impossible for your legs not to shake in reaction at what he’s doing to you. 

Dare you say, a man who is inexperienced at eating a woman out somehow feels better than one who knows exactly where to go. 

“Fuck, knew you’d be good at this,” you compliment with a shaky voice, reaching down to his hair and holding his head in place. “Stay on my clit, use your fingers on me.” 

He hums, taking note of where you place his lips and reminding himself that this is the clit, just as suspected. He attaches his lips there, kissing it much like he kissed you in the kitchen. 

You can feel his fingers make their way into you, each bump of his knuckle sending a delicious sensation throughout your body. You’re tingling from your head to your toes at this point and your face heats up beyond what you thought it would. Your hips move on their own, experimentally fucking against his fingers as he keeps his tongue flicking at you. 

“Just like that,” you encourage him, running your hands through his hair and looking down at him. Seeing his head move with each little thrust of your hips is only more arousing in this moment. His eyes half open, watching you, tasting you, almost smiling around your clit when he makes eye contact with you. 

It almost seems like he’s asking if he’s doing well, and goddamn is he. He’s doing amazing.

“So good,” you say shortly, scratching against his scalp as a thank you, still fucking your hips up just to feel his fingers plunge deeper. 

He, on the other hand, is fucking feral right now. Tasting you, dipping his fingers into you, feeling that warmth for the first time, the small clenches— he’s swimming in a fantasy. Every time you move your hips up, he can smell the entirety of you, he can feel your pussy squeeze his fingers, and god. He doesn’t think he ever wants this to end.

All day, he could do this all fucking day. No wonder men make fun of other guys for not giving head. Why wouldn’t they? He can feel your legs tensing up around his head, your gentle fingers running through his hair, the sounds coming from your lips. He’s in love, he’s in love.

He doesn’t stop, tongue flicking your clit so beautifully, fingers slowly fucking in and out of you, not even in time with your jerking hips. Shockingly, you approach euphoria so fucking fast that you can barely warn him, you’re not even thinking when you put pressure on his head, pressing his lips so harshly against your clit— his moan sending a vibration straight through you.

“Faster, with your fingers—“ you choke out, curling your toes and feeling him do exactly as you say. 

There, you release with his fingers plunging in and out of you, the wet sound of your pussy only sounding more messy by the time you begin to release. In the midst of it all, you feel him pull his lips from your clit and lick around his fingers before coming back up and continuing his ministrations, working you through an orgasm you’re not even sure he knows you’re having right now.

Strings of curses, little tugs against his hair, legs shaking, all of it happens at once until the feeling of his fingers become sensitive inside of you, until his tongue is flicking a bundle of nerves begging to be left alone. 

You swat him away with a smile, leaning up quickly and grabbing him by the shirt. 

He doesn’t really know what the fuck is going on but he laughs with you, being pulled to his feet and falling onto the bed on top of you. You can feel his length in his pants, so fucking hard, probably leaking and feeling quite neglected.

“Did you…?” He asks softly.

You smile at him, leaning up to kiss him square on the mouth before you flip him over and get between his legs. 

“I did,” You laugh in a daze, starting to work on his button and zipper. You’re reeling from the recent orgasm and wanting nothing more than to let him feel the same way you do right now. “And now, you’re gonna finally get a full blow job.”

He chokes out a nervous laugh, holding your hand in place from pulling his pants down.

“Unless, you don’t want that?” You ask, tilting your head with a bit of a frown.

“No, no! It’s not that!” He reassures you, cheeks flushing more than they already were. “It’s just that like, what if I don’t last very long? I’m kind of sensitive.”

His eyes avoid yours when he says it and once again, most adorable man award goes to fucking Soonyoung.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing?” You lean forward, kissing him again. “You just gave me some of the best head in my life.”

The light in his eyes return and instantly he’s flashing a nervous smile at you. 

“Hoshi, I’ve never gotten off that fast from being eaten out.” You reassure him again, making a point to use his nickname. “If you don’t get off from me sucking your cock, I might actually cry.” 

Well, he can’t have that now, can he? 

He releases your grip on his jeans, allowing you to pull them down. For some reason unable to look at you despite knowing you’ve seen him jerk off before. It’s the fact that like, what if it’s suddenly not big enough? What if his cock is ugly or curved in a way you don’t like?

Before he can even start to doubt himself more, he feels your lips on the tip and instantly his eyes are looking down at you. You’re the one smiling now, using one hand to hold his base and the other hand already scooping up his balls for added pleasure. 

You make a point to look him in the eye as you let the saliva collect in your mouth. There, you let it fall from the tip of your tongue, all the way until you feel the wetness against your fingers wrapped around his base. 

He thinks he’s going to go fucking insane watching you like this, and god, does he. You don’t even show him your struggle of taking in the sheer size of him. Lowering your mouth until you’re taking in as much as you can. You try to keep eye contact up until you have to close your eyes. 

It’s not shocking that by the point you get half of his length into your mouth, he’s fucking up without full intention and letting out a choked apology. Still, you try to force your stretched lips to smile for him, even through the gag, through the harsh feeling of his cock hitting your throat. 

How the fuck has a cock this good not been worshiped before? By a mouth? A hand? A pussy? You’ll be damned not to choke on it. You’d rather eat glass than to let him leave this apartment without being completely emptied and praised for every drop. 

He’s actually struggling already not to come, holding himself back but failing each time his hips chase the warmth of your throat. Each time you gag, it stimulates the fuck out of him and he nearly wants to cry each time it happens. Even with that other girl who went down on him, she didn’t even attempt to fit this much in her mouth. Most of the pleasure came from her hand jerking him off while she suckled against his head, but you. You’re down there, slipping your mouth up and down on his length, gagging, tearing up, and still fucking smiling about it. 

Once again, he’s in love.

He holds his hands back at least, keeping them against your sheets and gripping them so hard that he fears he’s ripping through them. Everything feels hot, you look hot, you sound hot, your tongue still manages to move against the base of his cock with what little room it does have, and god– your other hand, massaging his balls. 

“Wait, wait wait–” Soonyoung groans, fucking his hips into your mouth once again until you pull off with a concerned look. 

“Were my teeth hurting you?” You ask, gasping a bit for air.

“No, i was just getting really close.”

“Hm?” You sigh in disappointment, this time going all in at once and not letting yourself stop until he’s releasing into your mouth. 

You feel his shaking fingers brush your cheek when you do it, hollowing it out just to fit more, more, more into your mouth before lapping your tongue against his base again. 

His groaning turns into frantic moans, his hips jerking wildly, unable to escape the clenching muscles of your gagging throat, and he’s honestly in heaven once again. 

Never in his life has he felt an orgasm so satisfying. His fingers go numb when he releases, pumping himself deep into your throat and not stopping until he’s dizzy. The fact that you kept your mouth on him through it, the fact that he could still feel you gagging, swallowing, and moaning all at once through it–how?

“How–” he takes a breath, pulling you off of him so you can breathe. “How did you do that?”

You shrug with a confident smile, wiping your tears and crawling up to meet his face. 

“I don’t normally do that for guys.” You say with a rasp in your voice, “I certainly don’t just swallow for anyone.”

He feels special, and fucking spent but god does he want to keep going. His softening cock twitching in a relieving way, probably glad to have finally been touched by something other than his own hand. Part of him wonders if you’re done though, because by now you’ve both gotten off and usually that’s the end goal, right?

But he hasn’t lost his virginity yet, and when he looks at you hovering above him, he already knows you’re not done with him. 

“We need to let you rest until you can get hard again,” You say, kissing him more easily than before. Letting him taste himself, letting you taste yourself mixed with him. “What’s something you wanna do to get you back into the game?”

He sighs out a laugh, fucking amazed that you’re his first. How lucky is that? He thinks hard, watching the way you lift your shirt off of yourself. God, he forgot tits existed for a solid part of this day and that’s a shame because instantly his sensitive cock throbs at the image of them coming into view. 

You watch him stare, trailing your hands down and lifting his shirt off of him as well. 

“I don’t even know at this point.” He admits, ignoring the fact that his hair is definitely sticking up all over from you taking his shirt off of him.

“I’ll just love on you while you think, then.”

He gives a short nod, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside at the way your gentle hands caress his chest and abs before you start kissing against it.

He relaxes his body, feeling your hands and lips on him. You were right when you said you’d love on him as he thinks about it. The hard part of it is actually thinking about what’s going to get him harder the fastest. You doing this could be enough, but your tits. And fuck, your pussy.

He lets out a whine, one that feels entirely out of character and it causes you to pause your gentle kiss against his nipple and pull back.

“Already?” 

He shakes his head, staring straight at your chest and then down to what's between your legs. 

“I want to, um, eat you out again…”

That’s new. Twice in one session? You’re not going to turn that down. 

“Oh yeah? Did that get you going?”

You receive a small nod from him before his hands are reaching out for your tits and warming them up. 

You relax into the feeling of his fingers on your chest only for a moment before you pull back again, this time adjusting yourself onto the bed face down, ass up. Might as well try a bunch of different positions for him too, right?

“Whenever you’re ready.” You sigh, already grabbing a pillow to hug through this. 

You can feel the bed shift behind you, the weight of his body dipping right behind you before you feel his warm breath against your core. Only now do you realize that you already missed the way he ate you out the first time, you can barely contain yourself knowing he’s going to do it again. 

His hands snake between your legs before his lips get any closer, spreading them before pulling his hand back up and spreading your pussy open with his fingers on his own this time. 

“You have the prettiest pussy.” He says in a clear and calm voice, watching the way your hole pulses at the air that hits it. “And I've watched a lot of porn.”

You’d tell him to shut up, but you’re not gonna because it’s cute how forward he is with his thoughts. If anything, he’s treating you right now by doing this, so he can say whatever he fucking wants right now. 

“Eat it then.” you try to urge him, and he does just that. 

You do your best to contain any rising orgasm, solely because you don’t want to spend yourself before you actually let him inside of you in full. But goddamn, he’s just as eager now as he was the first time…if not more. 

He thinks back to the things he did before, mimicking that and hitting all of the perfect spots without fail. Still, you hold back, pushing and pulling yourself away and toward him. He eventually holds you in place against him, licking you deeper than you’ve ever been licked before. It’s a different kind of sensation, and the way he groans into it is entirely too much for you right now. 

You need more, you want more. You want all of him by now, so aroused by every touch, breath, and moan that it’s becoming unbearable to just be eaten out. The thought that he’s doing this to get himself hard is flooring, and the feeling of his fingers replacing his tongue much like before is intense. 

After just that one time, he knows exactly how to make you come this way and it’s dangerously attractive to realize that. He goes straight for it too, pulling back to watch his fingers slip into you up to the knuckle. 

Given, he can’t reach your clit with his mouth this time so he thinks hard about how to fix this little dilemma and you’re floored even more by the fact that he solves problems without questioning. You feel his fingers leave you and land on your clit, and right then you feel his tongue again, just as deep, licking into you and all over you. 

He’s really going to not let you hold it in, he’s going to have you fucking unravelling again and it’s too good. Thankfully, when you try to lift to look behind yourself, you take note of his other hand working himself. 

He’s hard again, and god knows how long he’s been doing that. 

You pull your body away from him, his protesting moan doing nothing but heating your body up more when you flip over and watch him. 

“You were really just going to get me off again and not try to fuck me yet?”

He looks down at himself and then back at you, smiling and running his hand through his hair. 

“I like doing it, I wanted to see if I could make you–”

“You absolutely could have but I’m going to be honest,” You start, interrupting him and pulling yourself up to crawl over him. “I need more now, and if you’re ready, I’d like to live up to my promise.”

His eyes are much sharper than they were before when you say those words. This is actually it. He would have been perfectly happy just eating you out, getting head himself, or whatever. Over and over again. Any and all of it is better than being in his room alone, but you’re really–

“Promise?” He asks, knowing full well what it was. 

“Lay back, get comfortable,” You instruct, scooting up the bed with him, keeping yourself planted on his legs despite the discomfort. “You still want me to ride you, right?”

He nods almost frantically, landing his hands on your tits without hesitation and groping them in a blatant show of how ready he’s managed to get himself for this. 

Not that you want to rush, but you’re so fucking turned on by this point, the only thing you want is to be filled by him. His cock likely bigger than any you’ve taken before, and to be fair, you don’t even care if you’re the desperate one at this point. You’ve almost forgotten he’s a virgin.

“Wait,” He stops you when you slide over his cock, bare pussy coating his length in a languid grind. “Oh, fuck, wait- no, do that again.” 

You smile at his frantic thoughts pouring from his lips, sliding against him again, and again, up until he’s leaning forward and attaching his lips to one of your nipples and suckling against it hard. 

You groan as you grind, feeling the head of his now, fully hard, cock bumping against your previously stimulated clit. He groans with you, almost at the exact same time but continues to try and leave his mark on you. In love with finally getting your tits in his mouth, your pussy on his cock, and most of all, in love with the fact that you’re not laughing at him for any of it. You seem to melt into it much like he does and he can’t help but want to email the creator of that fucking app and personally thank them for this. 

You rub yourself against him until it’s even more unbearable than before. By now, you’ve completely soaked his length and he’s completely soaked your chest in saliva and tiny swollen bite marks. Not that you mind the biting, he did it and you didn’t stop him.

“Are you ready?” You finally sigh out, deliberately grinding against him slowly now, with almost your entire weight behind the grinds. 

He groans out a “please” before immediately gripping your hips and stopping you. Pulling his head back so hard and so quickly– he kind of forgot to unlatch from your nipple and it sends a sharp pain throughout your body, one that only makes you want to ride him hard. Right now. 

“Hold on, there’s a condom in the pocket of my jeans–”

“Okay, and?” You laugh, sliding forward again and grinding your clit against him. “I’m on birth control, and I’m clean.” 

He looks at you, his sharp eyes falling back into the sparkling doe eyes as his mouth falls open at the very idea that he gets to hit it fucking raw for the first time? 

“Unless you’re lying, and you’re not really a virgin?”

He’s quick to silence your doubt. He’s 100% never had his cock inside of anything other than his own palm and– malfunction. He’s blank again, staring up at you and wincing at the feeling of you pleasuring yourself on top of him. 

“Please?” He manages to get out, gripping your hips so tightly by now that he’s sure it’s hurting you. 

You smile, humming at him when you lift from his length, standing on your knees to grab at his and position him in the right place. 

“You sure you’re ready for this?” You ask, only now realizing that you’re genuinely about to take a man’s virginity, and it’s only fair that you give him one last time to decide if he wants you to take it from him. Despite how turned on you are, and regardless of how badly you want to fuck him, it’s not right to just do it without making him really think about it. 

“Fuck, yes. Just do it already.” 

You can’t help but smile at him when you do. Lowering yourself slowly on him and feeling the stretch of it. His face is something that you don’t think you’ll ever forget. He appears to be lost in it, eyes rolling back, his chest heaving, his teeth showing through a half-smile as he moans out at the sensation. 

He can’t get over how warm it is inside of you, the constant clenching of your pussy dragging along his entire length. He can’t help it when he moans, he doesn’t care that his voice cracks, or that it sounds like a pathetic sob. 

By the time you bottom out and sit like that for a moment, you almost feel like he’s the one who needs to adjust. Of course, you’re needing this moment to adjust too but god– just watching him made you that much more wet and it’s insane how into him you are right now. As if you haven’t been since you started talking to him.

“Feels good?” You ask, involuntary clenching around his size, letting out a small sigh yourself at the feeling of his leaking cock inside of you. 

He hums at you and then takes in a deep breath before fully opening his eyes again and looking at you. Technically, he’s no longer a virgin now. It’s fucking happening, and you’re hot? So hot? You feel so good? You smell so good. You sound so fucking good. 

Everything is overwhelmingly good, all he can do now is press his hips up and instantly moan out at the feeling. 

You take that as an invitation to absolutely obliterate him, much like you knew you would. So, you do. Lifting yourself up and sliding him almost entirely out of you before sinking down again. 

His hands shoot to your waist, then he lifts slightly to grab your ass from behind you, and then he flops himself back– seemingly unable to know what the fuck to do with himself at this feeling. 

You opt to grab his hands, intertwining your fingers with his and holding them above his head, all so you can lay chest to chest with him, lips right at his neck. You start kissing, riding him so smoothly and doing nothing but listening to his little sounds that he tries to keep inside. 

“You’re really cute, you know that?” You whisper against his ear, kissing there too before pulling back to look at his face.

That half-smile never leaves his face, and his fingers squeeze against yours so tightly that you actually start to worry that he may break them. Thankfully, he begins to relax after a few minutes. Adjusting to the overwhelming pleasure and now losing himself to the arousal rather than fighting it. 

You nearly squeak when you feel him release your hands and grab your face, pulling you up to him as he kisses you mindlessly. Breathlessly, moaning into your mouth all while moving his own hips now. You can feel him jerk his hips, imagining how he fucked his hand through facetime. This is better than that.

You prop to stand up on your knees, offering him the space to fuck you as hard as he’d like, and god. It’s hard. It’s deep, and it’s so clumsy. No rhythm, no thought behind it at all, you can fucking tell he’s purely running on adrenaline as he plunges into you. 

He’s actually going so hard, that your moans sound more pained than pleasurable, but that’s not the case at all. You actually can’t stop moaning, it’s just the fact that each time he slams into you, your throat lets out a broken sound. 

For a moment, you think you can actually hear him purr, or maybe growl against your slack lips as he does it. Already he’s lasted longer than you thought he would, especially without a condom, and you’re so fucking impressed by it. 

You slide your hand between your bodies, easily rubbing your own clit and drying out your throat even more with the consistent loud moans of how good he’s doing. After a few moments though, his hips stutter and you take that as a sign that you should take over again.

“I don’t know how the fuck you’re doing this to me,” You laugh out of pity for yourself, “I really thought I could last longer than this.”

He barely hears you through his ringing ears and rapid heartbeat, but he chuckles at the compliment. Feeling like he must be doing something right to have a woman say that to him. There’s one issue. He’s about two thrusts from coming again and he will be damned to ruin this for you. 

You take over, riding him harshly and rubbing your clit even harder. He takes a moment to try and distract himself from how good your pussy feels clenching him and takes it upon himself to bite down hard against his tongue. Something to hurt enough to keep his orgasm from bubbling over, but also not something so awful that he’d lose his arousal entirely. 

You continue, pushing yourself back up from him and watching the way he tries to focus on anything but what’s happening. You ride deliberately to get him off though, knowing that the second he does, you’ll let yourself go too. He doesn’t seem to be picking up the hints. 

“Are you close?” You ask, out of breath and riding him so consistently that it’s becoming more and more difficult to hold your own orgasm. “Let it go, come with me–”

Instantly, you hear him whimper out a moan as he releases the bite on his tongue. Shooting himself forward and hugging you so tightly that the pressure of your fingers against your clit is entirely unbearable. 

“Oh, shit. Wait– i’m–” You start, moaning against his hair as he hugs against you.

He’s so fucking relieved, already releasing into you as you say those words. All he can do is breathe through it, feeling your pussy come around him as he continues to empty himself into you. 

It’s entirely too intense, his ears popping and heart threatening to send him to a hospital. Never did he think having sex was this intense. 

Little does he know… it’s not. But even you, for some reason, find yourself wondering why the fuck that was so good. 

By the time you pull yourself off of him, both of you wincing and trying to ignore the mixture of cum running down your legs, all you can do is look at him with curiosity. 

He can barely open his eyes to look back at you, but he tries, he really does. 

~

He’s not going home tonight. Of course he’s not. Like, how fucking rude would it be to take his virginity and send him on his way? Absolutely the fuck not.

In fact, you made him some food, wobbling on spent legs throughout the kitchen as he lays on his death bed in your room. (Not literally, both of you are just dramatic.)

All he can do is listen to the sounds of you in the other room and think hard about how he just felt. Physically, it was a lot. Surely if sex is like that all the time, he’d rather not do it as often as Seungcheol does. Honestly, his sanity would be at stake. 

But like, you’re kind of amazing. Given, the two of you barely know each other past lame texts and bullying each other. Physically, you know him more than any other women and that’s a block he didn’t think would be an issue until it became one.

You made him come twice. And he thinks you did too, unless you’re lying just to make him feel better. There’s no way you didn’t feel the intensity of that though. There’s no way your wobbling legs were lying to him when you got up and told him you wanted to have a snack before bed.

There’s no way you would let him sleep over if you didn’t feel the same way he does right now.

And by the time you’re back, handing him a plate of food, he can’t help but believe that nothing will ever taste as good as you.

The thing is, that’s one of the main reasons you did this. To be praised, to have a man think you’d be the best he will ever have until he eventually meets someone else and they do better than you did. Now though, you feel weird. 

This is a one night stand. A charity-fuck, as it still stands at least. 

“So,” You start, taking a bite of your food still as naked as can be regardless of how stupid it must look to be eating in a come-soaked bed like this. “I guess you should change your bio in the app now.”

He looks at you, and then at his food.

“Yeah, I guess I should…” 

“I’ll help you fix your age on it. Now that you know what you’re doing with a woman and all.”

It’s silent for a minute.

“Is it too forward if I say that I’d rather just delete the app and keep calling you?”

Thank fuck Soonyoung is forward and embarrassing with it. You’re not ready to give up the single life but on the other hand, after that, you’re not exactly ready to share him with other women just yet. If he wants to attach himself for a while, you’re going to let him. Purely because, like, look at him. Everything is endearing, and when he’s not being adorable he’s just being fucking hot.

You nod with a smile, wondering if he expects you to delete the app too. Because you’re not so sure about that, but also you think you probably would if he asks with those stupid doe eyes. 

Strangely enough, he doesn’t even ask. He just starts eating the food with a content look on his face. Sweat having dried up but left his hair a mess, his skin is glowing– you think…oh no. Why are you looking at him like this?

“Hey, I should probably call Vernon and tell him not to come home until late tomorrow or something.”

Soonyoung nods, lifting his eyes to you and watching you take your phone out. 

“I should call my friend too, he told me to let him know when I get my cherry popped.”

You snort at him with a laugh right as Vernon answers the phone, and honestly, you’d rather listen to Soonyoung’s friend than Vernon whining about having to spend even more time with his overbearing parents. 

“Hey Vernon, don’t come home 'til I call you tomorrow, bye.” You say quickly before hanging up. 

Instantly you’re setting your plate on your table and launching yourself at Soonyoung and his phone. 

“Put him on speaker.”

[voxisdaddy]

İ have a request, how would hazbin hotel and angels (or archangels) reacts to a coqquette girl demon?

İf you dont know what iş coquette is, here some ideas

Coquette Sins

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Pairings: Alastor | Lucifer | Husk | Angel Dust | Sir Pentious | Charlie | Vaggie | Cherri Bomb | Rosie | Carmilla | Vox | Valentino | Velvette | Adam | Lute | Emily | Saint Peter | Striker

C/TW: Sexual themes, swearing, some way longer than others, a lot of these are based off appearance sorry, made reader a sinner rather than demon since demon is very vague in the hellaverse lol, not proofread

In which how various Hazbin Hotel characters + Striker react to a demon who brings a fresh aesthetic to hell-aka, a coquette sinner!

Alastor

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ I can't say you'd be very intriguing to Alastor based off this aesthetic if I'm completely honest. He frequents Cannibal Town a lot-which while not coquette at all-the colour palette are closely similar and blends in together. Your look being more romantic and innocent looking in comparison however at a longer glance. So you wouldn't per say stand out at first glance, but even when he notices he isn't exactly intrigues. Hell is filled with many people who can look however they want, whatever way they want after all. So at first you're just another one of these poor sinners in this forever inferno. Somehow once you do get to know one another though, he picks up on certain mannerisms and certain things you like. One of the first being when he saw a little plushie you had purchased one day, now decorated with a neat little bow that matches with pretty much everything of you. From then on, he's sure that when he gifts you things, to keep an eye out for more specific things. It clashes with his aesthetic, but it's okay. Slowly he'll start to change your wardrobe to match his.

Lucifer

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Lucifer doesn't think very highly of sinners, typical for the sin of Pride, but you're something new to him. He's well aware that human souls come in many different forms and that anyone can present themselves anyway they want, but coquette was a rare one. Anyone who resembled innocence, sweet romantics, and softness was often the target of bullying and harassment in hell-which serves him all the more reason to roll his eyes and dismiss a lot of sinners. Meeting you was a blessing in his eyes. Regardless of whatever judgements you may face you seemed to never stray away from who you are. He's become protective of you because of this. I mean he's protective of you regardless, you're very special to him after all, but you're basically a walking target for unnecessary bullying. Whenever he gifts you rubber duckies and carving of ducklings, he makes sure they are painted and decorated to fit in with your room. Because of your aesthetic by the way, you can match for date nights-which he loves very much!

Husk

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Husk wouldn't find you that intriguing either. He's been in hell for a very long time, seen lots of folk looking very different from one another. Nothing new. I think the longer he knows you though, the more he starts to question things. Nothing bad per say. It's more so because he starts to grow a crush on you and just now finds you more interesting. He'd definitely gift you things that match with your whole look. Especially plushies because come on, who doesn't like a good plushie.

Angel Dust

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Loves your look and aesthetic. It's like you're a different version of him-visually at least. You almost go hand in hand together in a sense. I can imagine two different first impressions of you based on appearance and just getting to know your personality on a very base level. One; he thinks you're one of Charlie's goody two shoes who don't know how to have fun but know how to ruin the fun of others. And two; if you're a dude here, someone he can have fun flirting with because don't you look like an inexperienced doll faced angel~

Sir Pentious

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ I think your contracting aesthetics is lowkey a recipe for a cute af looking couple not gonna lie. Sir Pentious would probably be very adoring of you. Don't you look so darling! I feel like out of the main cast, he's been in hell the longest and has definitley seen your type of look before-especially when he was alive. You kind of remind him of those porcelain dolls that would be on the front of store windows. It's probably the leading factor as to why he adores you and treats you as if you're made of porcelain. Even if you're a baddie, yoiu're his baddie-who's also his sweetheart darling.

Charlie

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Charlie loves your aesthetic and how you carry yourself. It feels like such a breath of fresh air in this hellscape she calls home. She's definitely the type to ask what your hobbies are and if she can tag along to whatever it is. Now she'd never change herself to please anyone ever but she would likely, just for fun, dress up and match with you sometimes. Oh but please return the favour every once and awhile! It would make her so happy!

Vaggie

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Vaggie as we know is from Heaven, so your type of look isn't new to her per say but it in a sense it does surprise her. This is hell, most people are usually clad in reds, pinks, and black. So your more, dare I say angelic, appearance is a mild surprise to her. She quickly gets over it though ass even in heaven the angels all didn't look like angels sometimes. Sure theirs halos and the feathery wings, but some peoples appearance mirrored some of the folk in hell. Vaggies own appearance and aesthetic clashing with heaven back in her angel days too. So she gets over her initial surprise. You're almost...nostalgic to her in a sense. She's definitely soft with you.

Cherri Bomb

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ You're both like polar opposites honestly. She at first has her reservations on you. Based on appearance and personality actually. She understands that this is hell and that everyone can look however they want and some just fall looking a certain way. However this hoe likes to fight, thrives in the night life, high party girl energy, and being that bitch. So you'd naturally clash but after some time, especially in a relationship with you, she wouldn't wish for you to change yourself at all. As even Cherri Bomb needs some relaxing down time every now and then. So going to you and your relaxing and romantic sweet nature is almost spa like to her.

Rosie

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Like Alastor, you wouldn't stick out much to her at first glance because she sees people like you in Cannibal Towne at like every turn. She's wise though, she knows theirs a lot more to you and that you even find a way to stick our visually-intentionally or not. Your romantic look is just darling to her! She has to meet you! And once you do, to say this woman is smitten is an understatement. During a gossip session with Alastor, she definitely mentions you. You're the pearl of her eye. Even as your bond deepens, her smitten ways with you don't fade one bit. Probably has a few garments specifically catered to you with her own Rosie taste. She loves to match, so she'll hope you'll agree to meet her in the middle somewhere.

Carmilla

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ She likes to think you're a romanticized version of her. You're...not exactly that but it's close enough. You're a breath of fresh air for her honestly. Being an overlord and especially of her status, she tends to get migraines a lot. So seeing you and your more romantic soft look is already easing her a bit. She'd love to dance with you sometimes honestly. A nice slow dance with fun twirls, perhaps a music box or old record player even, as you unwind together sweetly. If it's alright with you, she'd love to fashion you with some angelic ballerina inspired shoes. Matching is cliche to her, but I headcanon she's lowkey a sucker for that stuff. Plus, it would be great for you to protect yourself with if worse comes to worse.

Vox

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ You're an interesting one to him-especially since no one looks like you on his side of the Pentagram City. It excites him in a certain way-now get your head out of the gutter. It's a power thing. You look quite easy to manipulate, frail, weak, obedient-you could be a mindless doll. Getting you under contract would be easy, he tells himself. Of course, falling for you is the last thing he thought would come from this. But when that happens, you're no longer some doll he thinks he can control into being another one of his little workers. He can easily find out what type of music you listen to, what you like to do, furniture you may like, little shop items you always keep an eye out for, ect., He loves coming back home to you, or even when you visit him in his office. He's a stressed out guy with a lot on his plate. You're more soothing to him than you think.

Valentino

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Valentino being Valentino thought you were quite the delectable thing. It's as if you're begging to be ruined, honestly. He's of course quick to try to coerce you into at the very least having sex with him. He's charming, he knows how to use that and be sweet into getting people to trust him. Say you guys are in a romantic relationship though. You somehow managed to take this monsters heart, he's surprisingly not as rough with you vs if you were some one and done bitch he had instead. You look like too much of an angel for him to wanna break so soon. He's still rough and loves it when its rough, but I mean, what do you expect? It's Valentino. He definitely gets you lingerie that match your look. Loves either seeing you wringle in it beneath him or degrading him while you're on top. Believe it or not it's not all about sex with this guy though when it comes to you. When he's in one of his tantrum moods, you're like his own personal angel to give him a hug til he calms down enough to go do something else more level headed.

Velvette

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ She admires your dedication to your aesthetic, but I can't say she likes it very much. It's cute and with the correct look it can look quite fashionable, but she of course has her own standards and strong preferences. I can imagine that when you move in together, she has a love hate relationship with your guys shared massive walk in closet. One half screams Velvette, and the other half screams you. It's satisfying to see the difference in aesthetics, but also annoying because of the obvious clash. She puts up with it though. It's not all bad, seeing as sometimes you two trade outfits. Not often cuz again this woman is very of her own preferences and makes the effort to maintain her aesthetic as often as possible. It does happen though, as sometimes something from your closet catches her eye and she'll either borrow it or design something inspired based off it.

Adam

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Adam first saw you when you went to visit Heaven with Charlie and Vaggie. He at first didn't even know you were with them. You looked like you belonged in Heaven, he had thought you were an angel tagging along with their running around with Emily. He didn't immediately catch onto the lack of halo and feathered wings but that's besides the point. He actually probably went to bother you several hours before the trial. He didn't like any of the sinner souls or demons, but damn it-why do hell get a lot of the hot bitches? I mean yeah everyone in heaven is hot, but maybe he just has a thing for demon bitches, he doesn't know. Plus, it would probably be a good time to grill you and maybe tease you. What? Are you a wannabe angel? Is that why you look like that and came to argue for that hotel?

Lute

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Lute does not give a fuck because hello~you're a sinner. She first noticed you during an extermination. She had thought you were an angel actually, because of how you looked. She was initially startled and angry because why the hell would of the extermination angels just be out of uniform in a time like this? But she was very quick to catch onto the fact that you are not one of them so she moved to kill you. Ah but little miss angel wannabe, her words, is more vigilant than she thought. You don't get killed this extermination so when the angels are called back to return to Heaven, she glances back at the last place she saw you run into for shelter. She smirks to herself; you got lucky this year, angel wannabe. She almost wishes you see you again next year.

Emily

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Emily would notice you with this Angel Dust character when they viewed Angel's night out during the trial in Heaven. You seemed to be friends with this group. Even though the focus wasn't on you, she found herself hoping to see you appear through the heavenly lens more frequently. You looked so adorable! Internally she nicknamed you Hell's Angel. She must remain professional and focus on the trial at hand though, which she very much does. She still wishes to get one more glimpse of you once the move on from viewing Angel Dust's night out though. Even when the trial ends, after she deals with the harsh reality she didn't now about, she hopes that Charlie's dreams come true for a chance to properly meet you in Heaven.

Saint Peter

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ This angel met you when you came up to the gates with Lucifer's daughter and her friend. When he realized who Charlie is and where this trio just came from, a part of himself silently wondered about you. You looked so...heavenly. You're really only visiting from Hell? Ha ha m-maybe theirs been some sort of mistake. You look like you belong up in heaven. Oh well. Eventually he get's to actually talk with you of course. It's not long but it's something. He almost feels foolish for thinking Hell wouldn't have sinners and demons who have certain aesthetics and preferences. Heaven has those things, why wouldn't hell have it? Maybe hell isn't the shitty eternal hellfire he and many other winners believed it out to be. I like to think that Peter when he's not wearing his robes, has a pastel filled wardrobe. Real soft boy energy. So if you ever get redeemed or can somehow be together, bc this man was whipped almost immediately, you'd match pretty well together.

BONUS!!

Striker

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ You intrigued Striker a little bit at first glance. With a raised brow he watched as you smiled sweetly at him and waved before continuing on your way. He doesn't like interacting with the sinners much but he knows enough about them that you being you makes you a target for bullying and harassment. He naturally keeps his distance regardless and doesn't think of you again until he actually sees you again. By the time you end up dating, many compromises need to be made. First of all, sinners can't leave the Pride ring so he can't bring you home to the wrath ring. So he often makes trips to the pride ring to visit you, at some point your home becomes his home before either of you realize it. It kinda makes him feel off-he stands out like a sore thumb in your place. But he tries to not get you place dirty and tries to make sure he's not totally bloody when he shows up.

IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK OVER A WHOLE MONTH LOVLEY STAR! I had no idea how to write about various characters reacting to a coquette!sinner!Reader without having so much overlap and I just evbsfvhsbk-

Here it is, finally TvT sorry for taking forever. Thank you for your patience!

[bleedingoptimism]

𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚

part 1

“You look pale,” Jeff comments making Eddie snort loudly.

Of course he looks pale, he’s got vampirism, doesn't he? But then again, so does Jeff and he looks great.

“When was the last time you fed?” He asks.

Eddie sighs heavily trying to reign in his bad mood. He knows Jeff’s just worried and wants to help, and he’s grateful to have run into an old friend from high school as soon as he moved into the big city. 

Because he’d be utterly lost without him.

He doesn't know where anything is, he gets lost in the subway, and he has no idea when he’s being charged too much for a muffin or suspiciously too little for a hotdog, or where all the blood markets are.

“Like, two weeks ago,” Eddie finally answers.

Jeff looks surprised but it’s not actually that bad, people with vampirism can go up to 4 to 5 weeks without blood. 

It’s not the same as those vampires from movies and books, they still eat food and they can stand in the sun with just minor cases of sunburn. There’s also the light sensitivity, making them all look like assholes wearing sunglasses everywhere.

Also, they are not allergic to garlic. Which, thank the heavens because Eddie loves garlic, a lot.

There’re a couple of side effects that do come in handy sometimes, like augmented hearing and smell. And the healing spit is super weird but nifty. No super strength regrettably, that would’ve been awesome.

Anyways, it’s like they have super anemia or something.

“I went to a blood bar, hooked up with some dude but. I didn't have a good time, at all. I kind of don't want to go back to bars for a while,” He elaborates and when Jeff frowns worried, he shakes his head,

“No, not like that. It’s just… the dude was like way too into it, you know? It kinda freaked me out.”

“What do you mean? Don't you find it hot? When you feed?” Jeff asks him, curious. 

Eddie nods quickly, “Yes, of course I do! It can be really sexy with the right person, but this guy, he was like- like way too loud and like, he was faking it? I don’t for who, though. And halfway through it, I started getting worried I’d accidentally hired someone instead of just hooked up and I didn’t have any money, and then I started thinking about money and my dick-”

“Ok! Ok, I get it.” Jeff thankfully interrupts him. “Dude, why didn’t you say something, I know of a place. I didn’t mention it before because it’s kind of boujee and handles itself a little differently.” 

“Oh? Do tell” Eddie tells him excitedly, he loves going to new places, especially if they are weird.

“Well, it’s real private, like ‘can’t get in unless you are on the list’ private. And it’s run by this girl. Blonde little thing, super cute. Scary as fuck. Everyone calls her ‘The Boss’” he says doing air quotes.

“Dramatic, I like it.” Eddie smiles.

Jeff chuckles, “So the gist of it it’s you go there and just hang out normally, like any other kind of bar. The place is beautiful, the music is good, and the drinks are delicious. But what's interesting about this place is the hostesses,” he says and even does a little pause for effect before continuing, “Similar to a blood bar there’re people there willing to be fed on but what’s cool about it is they get to choose.”

Eddie raises his eyebrows, “That sounds kind of fun, actually.”

“Right? And it feels, safer somehow? For them?” Jeff agrees and Eddie nods and smiles at him, waiting for him to keep going.

“Anyway, the hostesses choose and then you get to go upstairs and talk through what you want to happen, just feeding, sex, talking, anything they agree to, it's on the table. I once ended up just playing a game of Uno with the girl I fed on and two other hostesses that hadn't picked anyone that night.” he finishes and Eddie laughs delightedly.

“Ok, this place sounds amazing, what’s the catch?” 

“Well, you have to pay an entry fee, the drinks are expensive and there’s always the possibility you’ll leave empty-handed. The first time is free though,” Jeff says.

“Like drugs,” Eddie replies and Jeff nods solemnly, 

“You know the hostesses can be kind of addicting.” 

…

That night, on the way there, Jeff tells him they have to sign a guest list at the entrance,

“No one uses their real name, not because the place is shady or anything! But because they want to leave that choice to us and the hostesses if you ever get too close with one. It's not like, frowned upon.”

Eddie nods listening intently, he feels kind of nervous in a way he hasn't in a while, but he’s not sure why.

“Also, secret nicknames are fun! I’m known as Jay there. So please don’t dox me. Or yourself.” Jeff tells him.

After careful consideration, Eddie smiles and says, “I’ll be… Strider”

“Nerd”

“Shut up, you are just jealous you didn't come up with it yourself”

Jeff laughs, “You got me there,” he says, and then, “We are here” and he opens a big glass windowed door and vows to Eddie, inviting him in.

Eddie chuckles and enters and immediately almost runs into someone—a tall, massive guy with short curly hair and the shadow of a beard.

“Hey freak,” Jeff greets calmly, “He’s with me,”

Eddie cringes at the nickname, bad memories from high school bullying. But the dude just nods and gives Jeff the tiniest of smiles, so he figures it’s the nickname the bouncer chose for himself.

They enter and sign their name in the guest book, a girl about their age with dirty blond hair and hundreds of freckles on her nose and cheeks is there and she asks Eddie a couple of questions. Not in a weird way, but in a ‘you are new and I’m curious’ kind of way.

Eddie feels comfortable and excited as they go in.

Jeff was right, the place is beautiful. The lobby leads to a big room with high ceilings and fake candle-lit lamps. The chairs and tables are antiques and all different but roughly the same time period so they look good together. There’re old signs and posters from all kinds of drinks and different products adorning the walls. And the music is instrumental and oldie too, sounds like probably 40s or 50s.

It is incredibly boujee. But in a fun way, cozy and warm.

They get a seat at a small round table in a corner and Jeff lets Eddie look around for a while before asking,

“So? Weird right? It’s like stepping into another time,”

Eddie snorts, “Yeah, one that has no idea which time period it wants to repre- who is that?”

Jeff looks at where Eddie is looking and sighs, “Of course you noticed Sunshine,”

“Sunshine?” Eddie sighs.

“That’s what they call him. Because apparently he smells like flowers and summer and tastes like orgasms or something,” Jeff says amused rolling his eyes.

The guy, Sunshine, is probably the prettiest person he’s ever seen in his life, definitely the most beautiful man in this room. His face is a contradiction of sharp and round angles that is just absolutely perfect, and he’s wearing a black suit that clings to his body like a second skin, showing off his big shoulders and his tiny waist. He’s looking around the room with big, brown eyes that look bored as he leans against a wall like he’s above it all, he’s a fucking dream.

Eddie swallows audibly and looks smirking at Jeff for a second before his eyes drift back to the man, “Tastes like what, you said” he teases and Jeff snorts.

“Not that anyone would know, as far as I know, he’s never taken anyone upstairs,” he tells Eddie in a conspiratory tone.

That makes him incredibly curious, “Really? Why is he still here then?”

“I don’t know for sure, mostly rumors but he’s the boss’s favorite, that’s for sure. Oh!” Jeff exclaims and then nods his head to a girl sitting on the other side of the room, in a big fancy-looking chair that looks more like a throne than a simple piece of furniture.

She’s got blonde hair up in a ponytail and she’s wearing a flowery dress but there's something about the way she looks around the room, something about the way people walk around her and look at her, with respect or fear, or maybe both. She’s fucking intimidating.

While Eddie’s looking, the girl from the front desk, with the freckles, comes to sit on a small stool beside the “throne”, there’s another one on the other side that’s empty. The blonde girl moves her hand towards freckles and she kisses it and then her shoulder and smiles as she leans in closer and starts whispering to her.

It’s kind of surreal. 

“That’s The Boss, and the girl from the entrance, that’s Sparrow. She’s her girl.” Jeff explains.

“Respect for looking scary in a sundress,” Eddie comments.

And Jeff nods, “Anyways my theory is, Sunshine is actually just a bodyguard and not a hostess but the people that come here like to think they actually have a chance with him, so no one says anything to the contrary.”

Eddie snorts and nods, it makes sense. It's actually very good marketing, just like the ‘the first one is free’ thing. That boss girl is really smart with her business.

Jeff and he get a few drinks and they chat calmly, Jeff isn't looking to go upstairs tonight, he only came by to accompany Eddie and Eddie knows he should be looking around, trying to make eye contact with someone, but he can stop staring at Sunshine.

He even looked at their table at one point, and Eddie thought he was going to faint. He was scanning the room as he apparently does every couple of minutes when he caught Jeff’s eye and Jeff lifted his hand in greeting.

And Sunshine’s face completely transformed, his bored calculating expression changed into a beautiful smile that made his eyes shine. He wiggled his fingers at Jeff cutely before going back to looking like fucking Droopy Dog. If Droopy was the sexiest motherfucker alive. It was amazing to see.

Eddie’s jaw almost hit the table and he turned to look at Jeff stunned and he just shrugged,

“Sunshine was one of the hostesses I ended up playing Uno with. He’s fucking vicious,” he says smiling at the memory.

Eddie chuckles as his eyes follow Sunshine moving across the room, he just can't. Stop. Looking.

But the thing is, Sunshine is looking back now. Keeping eye contact with him obviously and unashamed. It’s thrilling and it makes shivers run down his spine.

He watches as Sunshine sits on the stool on the other side of The Boss’s throne and grabs her hand and holds it, intertwining their fingers. 

The Boss and her girl turn and look at him and the three of them start whispering, looking at him.

“Dude,” he says and turns to Jeff to see if he’s seeing what he’s seeing.

Jeff looks from him to the whispering party, “Un fucking believable, first time here and tonight is the night Sunshine is taking someone upstairs” he says looking fed up, but clearly in a joking manner.

“Is that what you think it’s happening? No way,” Eddie shakes his head as Sparrow says something that makes The Boss chuckle but Sunshine speaks up and she sobers up immediately. Curious.

“He’s looking right at you, he probably went to ask Sparrow about you,” Jeff insists.

“Maybe he’s looking at you”

“He’s seen me before,” Jeff scoffs.

He’s about to reply but their conversation gets interrupted by someone shily clearing their throat. A girl, a hostess, is looking at him with curious eyes, and shit… she’s cute and looks like a nice person but, Eddie can’t- he needs to know what those looks from Sunshine meant.

He needs him.

He looks back at the group quickly to see Sunshine and The Boss in deep conversation and Sparrow… is she glaring at him?

He rejects the girl, as nicely as possible and Jeff scoffs and murmurs ‘unbelievable’ under his breath again as Eddie turns to look back at Sunshine.

Who is walking toward them, holy shit.

“Holy shit,” Jeff says and then moves to stand. Eddie grabs his wrist and tries to pull him back.

“Wait what are you doing, dont-” But Jeff frees himself and starts walking away,

“Good luck!” He sings songs and then leaves him alone.

part 1: you are here

part 2: 👄

part 3: 🩸

bonus content: ☀️

ao3: 🌙

art: 🦇

coffee?☕🥐💕

[bizbat]

Those Jason crush hcs were so funny (obvi they were cute too) butJason getting so embarrassed he tried to crawl outside with 4 bullet holes and half his blood outside his body was such a mood. Me too dude. Can we have some more of him being delulu about his crush? It was so deliciously embarrassing and funny. What would happen if his wifey/husbando was just boldly was like- “Jason we're not dating, why would you think we were? We're not even having sex?”

EVEN MORE! When They're In Love Headcanons - Jason Todd

🕸️Spiderverse Masterlist🕸️

🐼JJK Masterlist🐼

~ Fem terms used for reader.

~ Mild smut alluded to but nothing explicit.

~ You can find parts One, Two, and Three here!

~ You can find more of my works here.

~ This is gonna be mostly fic bc I am running out of ideas lol. This took an inappropriate amount of time to write omg

~ Jay is kinda toxic so Tw: Unhealthy Relationships Dynamics, mentions of having children, slight violence, Jason is a freak and reader is tired.

By now, I've made it clear that this man is deep in the delusion.

But I haven't really gone into detail in what I mean by that.

I mean he'll say something teasing in jest, and if you reciprocate that energy even the tiniest bit, he will take that and run with it.

Though that's not even solid, bc if you take everything he says literally, he'd still think you're playing along.

Jason could make a joke with someone and not gaf about their response, but you could say the exact same thing as the person he joked with and he'd get heart eyes.

So far, I've kinda been writing with an oblivious reader in mind but a reader who knows all of Jason's delusions would pretty interesting lol.

You'd probably overhear him talking to Roy or Dick about your "date" last night.

Read: He broke into your apartment while you were at work and surprised you with chinese takeout when you got home.

I think if you confronted him about his delusions, he'd be willfully ignorant, and act like he doesn't know what you mean.

~ Drabble Starts Here. ~

Lian seems so happy, you can't bring yourself to be the bearer of bad news.

You're sat beside the little girl at her even littler table, the handle of a plastic teacup loosely gripped between your thumb and forefinger, your pinky high up in the air. The smile on your face is sincere as she mindlessly babbles, pouring sugar water into your cup.

You can't help but grimace when she encourages you and her stuffed animals to drink up, and you can't help but feel like the girl is being somewhat malicious when she seemingly starts interrogating you, only to push the cup of surgery water back to your lips whenever you to to answer her litany of, frankly, over-personal questions.

Some of the questions you don't mind, they're about as pure and unassuming as the pink princess tiara laying crookedly atop her head. It's when she asks if you and Jason are gonna get married and have babies with the most deadpan face you've ever seen on a child, that finally makes you choke on the (syrup) water.

"Excuse me?!" You ask, wiping away the mess on your face with a embroidered napkin and desperately trying not to hack up the rest of the beverage, undissolved grains of sugar still residing in the back of your throat. "Why would we do that?" You manage between coughs.

Lian glances towards Jason, who is sat at the table across from the two of you, his knees tucked up to his chest, as he hides his face behind his miniature teacup, though it's mostly ineffective, as the cup looks like a shot glass in his massive hand. Lian innocently looks back to you, as if you were the one who'd asked the more confusing question.

"Uncle Jay said you were dating. Isn't that what happens when people date?"

You crane your neck as you slowly turn your head towards Jason, who is avoiding your ice cold gaze like his life depended on it. "Oh, really?" You ask Lian through gritted teeth, though your gaze is solidly planted on Jason. "Did he now?"

"Mm-hmm," The small girl cheerfully nods her head, the dark braids framing either side of her face swinging from the force of her enthusiasm. "He told me you guys were gonna have a bunch of kids so I could have more people to play with!"

You can't help but stare incredulously at the child as she explains. By now, Jason's put down the cup, giving up at his attempt to hide behind it and simply covering his mouth with his hand, sitting silently like a dog with its tail tucked between its legs as he waits for you to start chewing him out. But it never comes.

"You are, right? I really want more friends." Lian's pleading is almost enough to make you change your mind and agree right there. Almost. As if sensing that she hasn't fully convinced you, Lian continues, going on and on about how she would be a really really good big sister or cousin if you had babies, or how much she's always wanted to go to a wedding, and how pretty you'd be as a bride, and-

She knows better than to continue when you gently raise your hand, as if you're silently saying "That's enough, Lian, please stop talking." You do feel a little remorseful as the girl's once happy demeanor changes to a shyer, more somber at the apparent rejection. You sigh and roll your eyes, finishing of the tiny cup of, what is now, pure sugar. "Maybe someday, Lian."

You put your hand up again, bracing her for the next part of your sentence when you see her start to get riled up again. "But absolutely no promises. Uncle Jay and I need to have a very important conversation later about it, though." That's enough to please Lian, as she goes right back to asking you other invasive questions that have nothing to do with your love life.

Jason, though happily surprised by your answer, stays silent over the next few hours. He honestly forgets you were ever even mad at him to begin with. It's not until you leave and the sky turns that familiar dark red, that you punch Jason in the arm as hard as possible, which, in all honesty, he can't really feel.

Though he does wince and hold his arm in the place where you hit him, to keep your ego intact if nothing else.

"What was that for?!" He dramatically gasps, pouting as he rubs the "sore" spot on his upper arm. Somewhere in the back of your mind you recognize it's kinda cute that he plays into your delusions. Just a little.

"Why would you tell Lian of all people we're dating?!" Your hand subtly clenches by your side, though you try to hide the slight pain punching him gave you, at the end of the day, Jason was raised by a detective. "Why would you even say that when you know it's not true?!"

"First of all," He starts, grabbing your hand. "I tell everyone we're dating." He starts soothing your sore knuckles as he tugs you towards your apartment building. He's so confident as he speaks it's genuinely bewildering. "And second, we are dating."

When he sees the utterly gobsmacked look on your face he continues. "We go on dates," (he just shows up at your home once a week. "We get gifts for each other," (he got you a stray kitten he rescued off the street and he steals your underwear). "We have sex-"

"Okay, number one: No we don't," You say, holding your hand out in front of you just like you did with Lian. "Number two: No we don't," You can almost see his eyes glaze over. He listens to every other thing you say, but when you're telling him your not together? That's when he tunes out.

"And number three: that only happened once!" It comes out a harsh whisper. Your face and ears feel hot with embarrassment, but Jason just shrugs. "Three times, actually, but who's counting?" Jason has a sweet, intentionally dopey looking smile.

You're left speechless by his demeanor. "Just kiddin' . . . I'm counting." He thinks the awkward, bewildered silence is hilarious. So he just keeps talking. "I mark it down in my calendar . . . Celebrate it once a month . . . Might get the dates tattooed."

"Jason." You interrupt.

"Hmm?"

"Go home." He looks over and realizes you're both in front of your apartment door, having talked the whole way. Again, he shrugs, pulling a spare key out of his pocket and moving to unlock your door. "Oh my fucking g-"

"What?" He stops, holding up the key midair. "What's wrong?" "Jason," You groan, rubbing your temples. "Why do you have a key to my apartment?" By now you shouldn't be so surprised, but you are. "Oh, this?" He hold up the key, equally confused that you would even ask. "I had one made when we started dating. How did you think I get in for our dates?"

He can almost smell the exhaustion wafting off you at this point. "Plus I live here."

"Jason you don't-"

"I'm just busy! I know, I know, I should be home more, but when I'm blah blah blah." No longer unused to his inane ramblings, you unlock the door and push past him. You don't even stop him when he follows you inside, still going on about his delusions. You just roll your eyes when he takes of his shoes and jacket and tosses them aside like they he really does live there.

"You shouldn't make dinner, you've had a long day, we can order-"

He's interrupted by yet another sigh. "Jason," you begin, plopping down on the couch. He shuts up and listens intently to every sound coming from your mouth. "I just . . ." You sit up straight. "You don't live here, you're a stalker, and we are not dating." Jason nods as you talk, slowly, as if he's taking in what you said.

"I . . . I understand. I really am sorry I've upset you, but," He kneels on the ground in front of you, gently placing his hand on your thigh. "I am not a stalker." He's incredulous, and you're tired. At this point, what more can you do beside oblige him and his delusions. You sigh again, a deep, deep sigh that instantly drains you of the rest of your energy and makes you deflate into the couch. "Okay, Jay," You say, undressing as you stand and begin walking back to your room. "You win, you're my boyfriend. Goodnight."

Jason just happily nods as he watches you walk to bed. "Yeah, yeah, I win." He's just happy you finally came to your senses. "Night!" He happily calls after you.

[lazyjellyfish300]

The Woman He Didn't Choose Part 4 🥀

Bachelor!Miguel O'Hara x Fem! Contestant Reader

Synopsis: You're on the show Singles in Paradise with former Bachelor!Miguel and other Spider-Verse favs dealing with another contestant's interest in Miguel making you jealous while you're doing your best to move on with someone new at the same time. Word count 5.7k 🖤 s/o to @migueloharasoulmate for the inspiration and ideas behind this chapter, ily.

Part 1, Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 5

A/N: If you're unfamiliar with the show Bachelor in Paradise, here's a clip to give you an idea. Basically, it's another dating show usually in a tropical location where single people couple up, and new arrivals come in every so often and ask people on dates to shake things up, leading to drama and chaos, and couples can choose to stay together or break up in the end and there's typically an engagement. DISCLAIMER: I HAVE NO RIGHTS TO THE SHOWS THE BACHELOR OR BACHELOR IN PARADISE, ALL RIGHTS TO THE OWNERS. I CHANGED THE NAME OF THE SHOW IN THE STORY.

TW: MINORS DNI, ANGST, JEALOUSY, INSECURITY, FIGHTING, DRAMA, DANA IS MESSY, SEXUAL HARASSMENT: not too graphic (DANA DOESN'T UNDERSTAND CONSENT), MILD SMUT(BRIEF, MOSTLY SUGGESTIVE, JUST TOUCHING, DESCRIPTION OF ORAL SEX f receiving BUT NOT DETAILED), BETRAYAL, ACCIDENTAL PREGNANCY (SORRY, IT'S ALL FOR THE DRAMA), DRUNKENNESS, ALCOHOL

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

That morning that Dana arrived

You desperately tried to divert your attention away from the sight of Dana and Miguel walking away together, arm in arm. You stood up, furiously trying to keep the tears that were building in your eyes at bay, pacing the room in a panicked circle until you decided to go find Felicia, cameraman in tow to your displeasure.

Dana was yapping Miguel's ear off as they sat down on some empty chairs by the pool. Miguel nodded his head, not letting a word she was saying funnel through, looking off occasionally to try and find you, when he finally spied you quickly across the resort, seeming to be in distress. His brow furrowed, craning his neck to try to see where you were running off to.

"Miggy?"

Miguel's eyes dart back to Dana and he clears his throat. "Sorry, go on..."

He tried to brush off his slight ick at her using his nickname. He didn't even know her like that. After all, she only lasted until week 3 on his season when woman after woman complained about her to him during their one-on- one times. His nickname sounded way better when you said it, anyway.

"I asked you on a date, silly!" Dana smiles waving the date card, batting her lashes.

Miguel manages a weak smile back at her. "I'm flattered...but to tell you the truth, I came here for someone else."

Dana's smile fades, trying to play off the fact that her ego was a little bruised. "Eheh...really?"

Miguel nods, looking down.

Dana tries to keep her tone sweet, but it's clear she's upset when she speaks again. "You're not still stuck on "what's-her-toes", are you?"

Miguel responds flatly, saying your name, a little defensive after the flippant way she referred to you. "I really am sorry, but it would be dishonest to us both if I went on that date with you..."

Miguel sees you on the beach, sitting on a towel next to Felicia, appearing to be crying.

"'Scuse me..." Miguel jogs away, leaving Dana fuming.

Felicia hugs you and you both rock back and forth together for a bit. "Dude...don't be upset. Seriously... let them have each other... You're SO much better than that. You're happy with Peter, right?"

You look at Felicia with a trembling lip.

"Noooo...you're not still...?"

"Ladies?"

You and Felicia jump, you turn and see that Miguel is standing above you both. You hide your face, desperately trying to fan yourself and hide evidence of your tears.

"Oh heyyyyyy, Miguel!" Felicia says nervously, trying to distract him. "Look, this is kind of a bad time."

Miguel isn't persuaded by the poor attempts to turn him away. He says your name softly. "Can we please go talk?"

You sigh and look up at him, abandoning your efforts to conceal yourself, letting him see your tear stained face in its entirety. "No thanks, I'd rather not."

"I said no to the date, alright?"

Felicia's eyebrows raise. You two look at each other. Your feminine high council of two unsure of what to make of this revelation.

Miguel's lips tug upwards a little, giving him that shy smile. "Please, can we go talk some more?"

You look at Felicia and she shrugs her shoulders as though she was trying to put the ball in your court.

You nod, standing up, turning down Miguel's offer to help you up as you shakily get on your feet. You look to see if Peter was around, but you couldn't spot him yet.

You and Miguel walk along the beach again, this time the sunlight hitting you directly and no alcohol in either of your systems. Both of you squint your eyes, raising your hands to try and shield yourselves from the intense glare of the sun, finding a shady spot further down the shore.

You do spy Peter in the distance. He's about to get on some jet skis with Ben. He gives you a shy nod and a wave. You wave back, giving him a smile, grateful he was far enough away to not see your sadness.

Miguel clicks his tongue out of nervous habit, unsure of how to start the conversation.

"So, you turned her down, huh?" You ask.

Miguel nods looking at you with his lips pressed together. "Yep..."

"Why?" Your tone a mixture of annoyance and disbelief.

Miguel blows air out of his nostrils shortly in amusement. "I saw the footage of her saying she wanted to fuck Gabe, so..." He looks down, shaking his head, then looking back at you. "I'd rather not be with someone who actually wants to bang my younger brother."

"Huh..." You exhale, deeply relieved.

Miguel nudges you playfully. "Were you jealous or something?"

"God-No!" You answer too quickly, scoffing.

Miguel raises his eyebrows. "Really?"

You nudge him back, but he barely moves, your comparatively smaller frame no match against his. He snickers in response. "Yes, really,...you smug bastard..." You say, shaking your head.

"C'mon, at least a little bit?" Miguel prods, his eyes a little more hopeful.

"I just think you can do way better than her." You state, not willing to admit to your lingering feelings just yet. You don't need to, however. Miguel can see the ghost of your love you still harbored for him on your face. It was still alive, even if you weren't ready to say it aloud.

Miguel gives you a soft smile in admiration. "Well, thanks for looking out for me..."

"No problem." You answer, looking up at him.

"But, I am a grown ass man. Trust me, I have better judgement than you think." Miguel says playfully.

"Ohhhhh I SERIOUSLYYYYYY beg to differ." You scoff, throwing a stray stone into the ocean absentmindedly.

Miguel's eyebrows raise. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." Another stone you threw plops, making a splash.

Miguel watches your actions, trying to figure you out. "My judgement sucks that bad?"

"Mhmmmm..." Another stone plops into the water. "Just look at how your engagement ended up."

Miguel nods, not denying the reality. "Touché..." He chuckles as you throw a new stone a little harder, making a small grunt in frustration.

His playful expression fades as it clicks for him, just how much BS he put you through all this time.

"I never did apologize to you, did I?" He says.

You turn and he's looking you in the eyes. You hold his gaze but you look down momentarily, a little thrown off by its intensity. But then, you realize this is all you ever really wanted to hear from him.

You lift your head, and you feel the pitter patter of your heart as you realize he took a few steps closer to you.

"I am sorry..." Miguel whispers, reaching for your hand. You flinch, moving your hand away. He notices and raises his hands in a surrender position, lowering them back to his side.

"I'm sorry that I put you through so much. For misleading you that night in the fairytale suite, for the shit storm you weathered on social media, for dumping you and hurting you, for letting my mom give you a hard time, making you relive your trauma week after week....I-" he closes his eyes.

Apologizing was foreign to him and not his favorite thing to do, but he owed it to you to find a way to release it all at once this time, even if it made him uncomfortable. You were more important than his discomfort.

There was an elimination ceremony tonight, and Dana might have been his only chance to stay longer in Paradise. The odds were not looking good for him to find someone to give him a rose. Not unless this apology could somehow undo nearly 6 months worth of heartache. Slim chance.

"I am so sorry." Miguel repeats. "You're an unbelievable woman, and you deserved better than what I put you through."

You try to find a trace of insincerity on his face but there is none. Vermilion hues of his eyes, honest and true. His mouth molds into one of his smiles that you love so much.

"You're really strong, too, you know..." Miguel says, a little bashful. "To be able to handle everything you did...I admit, it didn't sink in for me until an embarrassingly later time than it should have. So if I end up going home tonight, at least I know that I put it all out there..."

You listened to him, your eyes widening every so often as he continued and recounted his full story, how Xina ended up being a snob when the cameras were off and his future in-laws were racist and how this whole process, this damn show, completely blinded him, making it so every decision he made was a mistake, including letting you go.

The host, Jason Donner watches the scene play back live. He clears his throat a little uncomfortably at Miguel's open criticism of the show, but mouths to a producer that they'll edit it later with a nervous smile and a wink.

Back on the beach, you blink slowly, your heart left with more confusion than clarity after his confession. You really liked Peter, a lot. But there's no denying Miguel still had you in an iron grip. And, he just said everything that you ever wanted him to say, apologizing at last.

But yet, you couldn't help but wonder if it was only because he didn't have you anymore. Because he didn't have Xina anymore. Because there was nobody new in Paradise that could catch his eye, yet...

"Well, you don't know how much that means to me. That's all I ever wanted you to say, Miggy..."

Miguel melts internally at your voice. Your usage of his nickname adding double insult to injury. The fact that it's coming from you triple confirming that he's very much in love with you, right now, in this very moment.

It's on the tip of his tongue. He conquered his fear of apologizing, what's being afraid of a little love confession? He owes you those three words. He opens his mouth to speak.

"I need some time." You say, cutting him off.

"Time?" He gives you a slightly puzzled look. If it means you'd eventually give your heart back to him in the end, he'll give you whatever you need in this moment, but he's still not sure what you meant.

You gulp, going on to elaborate. "As much as I wanna just forget the past, I need some time to heal from it."

Miguel nods slowly. You were being honest. It hurt. But you were honest.

You continue in a careful voice. "I still want to explore my new connection I made here..."

Miguel nods again, trying to forget the now forming lump in his throat.

"I owe it to myself to see things through with Peter." You say, holding your breath at his reaction.

You release it when you see Miguel nod a third time, giving you a smile, although it's clear it's forced.

"I understand." Miguel says, tracing the sand with his toe. "No matter what happens...you know where to find me. I'll always care about you, one way or another."

You give him a solemn smile, opening your arms out to him.

Miguel's face warms up and he accepts your hug eagerly, his body stiff at first, then willing himself to relax completely. A quiet sigh escapes him as you two hold each other for the longest moment, both closing your eyes, your hands tightly gripping the back of his tank top.

The scent coming off his skin making you feel as if you were at home as long as you were wrapped around him.

The course your love ran on was far from smooth. Your two hearts seemingly molded perfectly for the other were just dealt the most unfortunate of hands from life's deck of cards.

A truly bittersweet moment, but it set a positive precedence going forward when you both said your piece to one another.

You pull away, giving Miguel's hand a fond squeeze in farewell and he turns back towards the ocean.

A couple of tears run down his face as soon as his back is to you.

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

Later, the group is enjoying the pool. You and Felicia are sunbathing. Dana, Peter, Ben, George, MJ, Web-Slinger, and Miguel are all swimming. Somehow, Dana is managing to throw herself at all of the men.

The only exception is Miguel, who's floating silently in the deep end safely away from her antics atop a large inflatable flamingo, the pink bird slightly crushed under his built form.

You peer over your sunglasses and glance over at Felicia, both of you seething with silent annoyance at the sight of Dana trying so blatantly hard to flirt with your men without any shame.

You relax when it appears that Peter and Ben are staying faithful, nicely and awkwardly ducking away from her advances. You feel a little bad on the inside for MJ even though you were currently dating Peter, watching her touch George's arm in silent claim over him when Dana came swimming dangerously close.

The merriment is interrupted when a figure walks down the stairs.

"Noir?"

Everyone stops what they're doing, turning their attention towards him as he comes walking quietly towards the pool, Jess notably absent from his side.

"What's going on?" Peter jumps out of the pool, walking to his side as Noir plops on an unoccupied chair with his head in his hands. "Where's Jess, is she okay?"

"She's pregnant." Noir says quietly. Everyone freezes, looking at each other with confused expressions on their faces.

Peter looks puzzled, then at the ground, trying to sort it out in his head. "But how...? We've only been here for a couple weeks?"

Noir explains, "The child is her ex's. The man she was dating before she came on the show. She's two months along. She's gone home, understandably so."

A few mouths fall open, reacting to the news, the camera rapidly switching back and forth to get everyone's experessions. You and Felicia grab each other's arms in silent comraddery.

Peter nods slowly, taking this in. "How are you doing with this, then?"

Noir blows air out of his mouth. "I'm still in shock, I admit." He stands up. "I just came back to let you all know that I'm going to be leaving too. I'm meeting her in her home state and we're figuring this out together. I wouldn't feel right staying here."

Everyone nods, the shock turning to silent joy at this news, wishing him and Jess nothing but the best.

Peter walks over to you, placing a hand on your waist, Miguel's cue to paddle to the other side of the pool, trying not to watch.

Peter's eyes search yours, "You doing alright?"

You smile, ruffling his damp hair. "Yeah, I'm alright."

Peter reaches down underneath his beach towel, retrieving an envelope. "Jason gave me a little something..."

You smile brightly when you recognize it's a date card. You take it out of its envelope and read it aloud.

"Peter, Choose a lucky lady to accompany you tonight and let your love set sail. -Jason Donner"

You look up at him, "I'd love to," as you pull him into a kiss.

Across the way, Miguel unfortunately witnessed you locking lips with Peter. He takes his sunglasses off, casting them to the side of the pool, hopping off the inflatable flamingo and disappearing underwater.

Peter and Ben then leave with Noir to help him pack his bags. You and Felicia turn to each other.

"It's getting late, we should probably go start getting ready?"

Felicia nods. Most of the others get out and head back to their rooms as well. Felicia addresses Dana, out of forced politeness,

"Are you going to come get ready for dinner with us?"

Dana shakes her wet hair, smoothing it as she struts back towards the pool. "Nah, you girls go ahead. I know how you ladies are with your hair and makeup. It barely takes me an hour to get ready. I like to keep things simple." She winks in George's direction who smirks back at her, MJ turning a shade of green.

Felicia rolls her eyes like a pair of dice. Thankfully, her sunglasses shield her true feelings. You both make your way back to your room along with the others.

Soon, just Dana and Miguel are left in the pool alone, Miguel back atop his inflatable sunbathing post. Miguel's eyes are closed as he lets the heat gradually absorb the water droplets on his skin, seemingly unaware that she's lurking nearby.

Dana smiles slyly, biting her lip at how fine he looks right now. His muscles and happy trail are on full display, and he's still soaking wet. Paradise looks good on him. She can't resist approaching him, even though he turned her down earlier.

"He's hot, I'm hot, we're both single. I can do whatever I want," She thinks.

Miguel's eyes open in alarm when he feels his inflatable shake as Dana tries to climb on it next to him. "What the...?"

Dana giggles flirtatiously. "Relax, Miggy. I just wanna sit next to ya."

Miguel curses. The inflatable is already nearly at its limit with his weight alone, and it's looking like it's going to capsize under both of them. He just wanted to relax in peace and dry off.

"Stop, you're gonna make us-ARGGLLLGGGHHH!!"

Miguel's voice gets cut off as the flamingo flips, knocking him off and landing him on top of Dana. She squeals and giggles at the water splashing her face, wrapping her legs around his torso underwater.

Miguel thrashes, partially blinded by the water in his eyes, trying to grab onto the side of the pool, anything. His hands find Dana's waist for a moment and she takes that opportunity to mount him, wrapping her legs tighter around him and her arms around his neck. Miguel sputters, not fully grasping what's happening, his vision still blurred by the pool water.

At that very moment, Ben Reilly comes walking back for his forgotten beach towel. He freezes when he sees the sight in front of him: Dana straddling Miguel in the pool. Miguel's back was turned to him, but he could clearly see Dana all over him.

Both of them are oblivious to Ben's presence. Ben slowly backs away, confirming that his eyes aren't lying to him before he turns around, quickly and quietly slipping away to go find Felicia immediately.

As soon as he flees, Miguel finally pries Dana off of him. He grumbles as he gets out of the pool, Dana calling after him with an exaggerated pout on her lips. She smiles to herself, shamelessly looking at Miguel's ass as he walks away, resuming floating solo in the pool.

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

In yours and Felicia's room

You look at yourself in the mirror as you put on a large pair of hoop earrings, turning your face delicately to the side as you do a final glance at your makeup. You look absolutely beautiful with your hair done, new sundress highlighting every curve of your body, lips glimmering with your favorite lip gloss, the ocean air of paradise giving you a bewitching glow.

Felicia and Ben are sitting on her bed. Felicia's all dressed up as well, her hair in beachy waves and her lips an alluring red. She's looking nervously at you.

"I don't know what to say..."

"It's fine." Your voice has a slight thickness as you speak. Felicia's eyes have a look of pity when it appears you're just trying to put a brave face on.

"I'll be just fine. I'm used to being let down by now. It's nothing new with him."

Just a while earlier, Ben had found Felicia; he sat her down and told her exactly what he saw in the pool: Dana and Miguel all over each other.

"No way...Miguel said he turned her down."

Ben shakes his head. "I'm telling you, that's what I saw, babe. I swear I'd never lie about something like that."

"I know, I know..." Felicia says slowly, bringing her hands to her face in a contemplative manner.

It's true, Ben was honest. There would be no benefit for him to lie about such a thing. He was just trying to look out for you because he knew you were Felicia's bestie, and you still had a complicated thing for Miguel.

"I'll tell her." Felicia said.

And so, she and Ben did tell you, and it felt like another stake was driven through your heart in that moment. That all too familiar feeling of disappointment that Miguel always left you with.

Such a stupid girl... but could you really be surprised? But this betrayal hurt differently than the others. He poured his heart out to you on that beach, apologizing for everything he put you through, only for this incident to cancel it all out. Just prepping your heart so he could shatter it once again.

He said he didn't have a thing for Dana but he clearly did. Maybe because she was the only girl available on the beach. She felt comfortable enough to be all over him as soon as she thought they were all alone and nobody would find out.

You press your tongue against the back of your teeth as you stand up, trying not to cry once again as you pat Felicia's hand on your shoulder. "I'm good...I'm gonna go meet Peter. I need to focus on my relationship with him. Fuck Miguel."

Felicia and Ben watch you leave for your date with a solemn expression.

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

A soaked Miguel is walking towards you on the same pathway. Shirtless, his coffee colored locks in a mop on his head, beads of water trickling down those abs, straight out of a sports magazine. But, as soon as you spot him, you abruptly change directions, going the other way.

Miguel's pupils enlarge when he sees you all dolled up. How jaw-dropping you look in the late afternoon sun. Your dress flows away from you like a sea goddess. But why are you avoiding him?

"Hey!" Miguel calls after you. You speed up. The cameraman wheezes, chasing you like it's Maury and not Singles in Paradise. Miguel picks up into a jog, catching up to you in no time, your speed no match for his thanks to his long legs.

Miguel goes to grab your arm and you yank yourself away. "Get the hell away from me."

Miguel feels a jolt of confusion and hurt. "What's wrong...?"

"What isn't wrong with you, huh Miguel?" You whip around, your words coated in venom as you hurl them at him. "Everything! Do me a favor and stay the fuck away from me for the rest of Paradise. Or even better, leave Paradise altogether and go home!"

Miguel stops in his tracks, his heart damaged in his chest. He thinks hard about what could've happened. What could he have done this time...

Oh no...

Dana. Shock. You must have seen it.

"This is about Dana, isn't it?" Miguel says, speeding up to catch you again. "Huh? C'mon talk to me! NOTHING happened! She came on to me! She threw herself on me when I was in the pool..."

"Just STOP!" you turn around, screaming. Your face on fire. Tears of frustration flowing like a waterfall. "Just leave me alone...I'm tired, Miguel!! You broke me for the LAST time! Stay the fuck away from me!! If you have even the tiniest shred of love left for me in your heart, you'll stay the fuck away from me..."

Miguel is desperate, his grip on you is slipping, his heart is drowning. He can't lose you now, not when there was an elimination ceremony tonight and he might get sent home before he could help you see the truth. Now you hated him forever, and there was no fixing it.

"Please..." Tears are running down his face. "Please..."

"I'll see you around, Miguel. I have a date to go on." Your lip trembles as you turn away, leaving him alone under a palm tree. He clasps his chest as he watches you walk away to have an unforgettable evening with another man, his heartache seemingly painful enough this time to physically manifest with an empty feeling that overtakes his whole body.

"No..." He covers his face with his hand, using the other to steady himself against the tree as his muffled cries cause his shoulders to shake.

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

Peter is waiting for you on the dock wearing tan khaki shorts and a white button down shirt. The wind is blowing his hair gently in the wind, his 5 o' clock shadow lining his face after a clean shave. Those chocolate brown eyes land on you and he gives you a big smile, his body getting warm at the sight of your beauty.

His face turns to worry, however, as it appears you're upset.

"Hey you...what's wrong?" He takes you in his arms, and you hold him close. His scent is different than Miguel's but it's still delicious, his aftershave giving him a fresh, clean aura.

He holds you in silence and you look up at him. He gives you a little smile, swiping his thumb under your eyes, catching some tears. "Wanna talk about it...?"

You sigh, starting to calm down, your hands on Peter's waist. "Yeah, maybe in a bit, though?"

Peter nods, running his hands up and down your shoulders, making you shiver in a good way. "Course, cutie... Let's get on this boat and get you comfortable...how's that sound?"

You manage a smile, and he wraps his arm around you, guiding you to a large, white yacht where warm blankets, champagne, fresh fruit, and finger sandwiches await.

Peter wraps you in a bundle with a glass and as much food as you like as the boat departs from the dock. The dark blue seas pave away, kicking up white bubbles of sea foam effortlessly as the vessel slices through the water.

It's absolutely stunning and romantic. You lean backwards against Peter and he rests his chin on your head, talking in hushed tones only the two of you can hear as you take in the magnificent ocean views, feeling like a bird gliding along the water.

It's one of those experiences you have to just take in with your eyes, committing every image to memory, the feeling of his hands on your body alone causing you to fall deeper and deeper for him.

For the first time in a while, Miguel manages to not cross your mind involuntarily as you converse with Peter, both of you diving head first into the breath-taking palette of the tropical sunset together. The conversation flows and it's just easy.

He listens patiently as you describe your conflicting feelings about Miguel and how he hurt you. Peter nods, not interrupting you. His eyes wander, looking away as though he were lost in thought, but only for a moment before he looks at you again, reassuring you with a squeeze of his hand.

This other side of your relationship you're exploring with him is comforting. As your yacht date draws to a close, you get even closer to him, the incoming darkness of the night going to your head and the champagne traveling swiftly through your veins, filling you with blazing want. You bite your lip as you press your body a little harder backwards against Peter.

As though he could read your mind, his lips part open a little and he presses back with equal force, one of his hands traveling a little further down your body.

Your eyes roll back when you feel his fingers on the outside of your dress, just above your sex, resting your head backwards against him.

"Naughty..." He whispers, nibbling your ear. He continues to entertain your tease as the boat heads back to shore. The darkness is on your side, keeping your sensual antics hidden from the captain's view.

---

Once you get back, the other couples of paradise greet you warmly once again. Miguel keeps his eyes straight ahead, doing his best to ignore your obvious joy with Peter, signaling a successful date. You and Felicia go off again to have your girl time, the cameras eagerly on your heels so as not to miss any tea that spills between you two.

Miguel tries to control his seething annoyance as a different camera focuses on him. Surely, the audience would revel in this well deserved karma that was being served to him, even if you were blind to the truth and he was wrongfully misunderstood.

The only people left around the fire pit right now are Miguel, Ben, Peter, and Dana. Miguel can't help but notice Ben and Peter are getting rowdier and rowdier, the latter starting to get a little too carried away.

Peter had a right to celebrate, sure, but Miguel was starting to become worried that he was overdoing it. Peter stumbled back and forth between the bar and the fire pit, his steps becoming sloppier in the sand with each trip as the liquor began to settle in.

Miguel coughed and tried to mind his business. Dana was lurking close by, butting into the drunken conversation between Peter and Ben, her's and Peter's voices fighting for dominance over the other.

Miguel's eyebrows traveled up higher and higher on his forehead as he listened to the nonsense leaving Peter's mouth. You couldn't really be into this guy, could you? He was complaining about dating and his love life in general outside the show. He made remarks that were borderline misogynistic, how women weren't genuine nowadays and "real ones" were hard to find, and blah blah blah. Ben was slumped backwards, snoring loudly. Miguel was the only sober and alert witness at this point.

Miguel winced and looked for you, but you were far off having a chat with your bestie. Totally unaware that Dana seemed to be pushing the line with Peter, something that Miguel was picking up on quickly, his sobriety giving him binoculars of clarity that everyone else was missing.

Miguel tries to stay and watch as long as he can, but he realizes he needs to use the restroom. He decides to shake it off for now, deciding that Dana is just being homewrecking-Dana, and that Peter is just acting out of the ordinary due to excessive inebriation.

Miguel uses the men's room, washing his hands, and goes back outside, walking along the long garden path back to the beach. He figured he'd take one more stroll along the shoreline to clear his mind before the Elimination Ceremony, making peace with the fact that he's probably going home tonight.

He hears a rustling in some bushes and a woman's soft moans, stopping him dead in his tracks. He shakes his head, trying to continue and move along.

Probably just one of the couples having some nighttime fun, a typical occurrence in Paradise.

But then comes the sound of a suspiciously familiar man's voice, groaning a name that Miguel did not expect:

"Dana...."

Miguel whips around and follows the sound, making himself stealthy as he tries his hardest to crouch down and stay hidden. He scrunches his nose in pain as the twigs and leaves scratch his exposed legs and forearms. Then, he sees it.

The voice moaning Dana's name belongs to none other than Peter B. And here he was, eating her out in secret behind a small clearing of palm trees. Her swimsuit coverup was pulled upwards and her bikini bottoms to the side as she bit her lip in pleasure, her hands tugging at his hair.

Miguel's mouth falls open in disbelief, his brain short circuiting, not willing to fully connect to the vision his eyes are witnessing. Nausea emerges within him, followed quickly by waves of raw anger, this sick display of betrayal unfolding right in front of his face while you were happy and unaware, being faithful to a man who didn't even have his ring on your finger.

The edge of the camera nudges Miguel's shoulder and he jumps in alarm, hissing at its foolishness in possibly revealing his position. This show really had no shame in the lengths they'd go for some drama, but did they really have to be all up in his space like that?

The cameraman breaks a twig under his foot, leading to a loud snap, causing Peter's head to shoot up in a cold sweat as Dana frantically tried to straighten her clothes, bolting in the other direction.

Miguel makes a run for it too, struggling his way out of the bushes the same way he came in, branches and twigs giving him a new layer of scratches and pokes.

Once he's back on the moonlit path brushing off his button up shirt and swim shorts, he straightens up and sees Peter stumble a few feet in front of him, fresh from the scene of the crime.

Peter drunkenly locks eyes with Miguel, brown meeting burgundy. His eyes widen in fear that he's likely been caught, Miguel responding with a look of disdain that contains the highest level of disgust and fury he can muster.

Peter gulps and clumsily stumbles away, leaving Miguel alone once again, seething with rage, his mind running a million miles per second.

Once Miguel begins to calm down a little, his trusted logistical thinking begins to take over again, but it's overwhelmed by dread as he slowly begins to walk, placing one foot in front of the other, and repeat.

Deep breaths.

He feels his heart shudder under the heavy weight of this burden he must now bear.

He'll have to break your heart once again, even though you already hate him forever.

The whole trajectory and name of the game has just changed as he knew it within a matter of minutes.

This simple knowledge he now carries would shake up everything.

The dwindling hours he has left before the Elimination Ceremony tonight looms overhead ominously.

He rubs his face, letting out a small groan as he trudges heavily onward, preparing to face your wrath once again.

The host, Jason Donner speaks in a voiceover:

Stay tuned for another drama-packed episode of Singles in Paradise!

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

@miguelhugger2099, @kodo1221,@mimiemie, @laysmt, @cheerrioeoz @spicydonut25 , @thisistotesnotspam-heart , @famouscattail , @thekidscallmebosss , @librababe99 , @ce3stvu @irishbl0ss0mz, @nommingonfood @mauvecherie-writes , @royale-skeleton-key , @thesilenthill @dimitri-needs-therapy , @a-lil-whore @aisyakirmann @sylveon-of-heart , @hobiebrowns-wife @weirdothatwritess , @reader-1290 , @thesmutconnoisseur , @koyukilove

@hardlystrictlystarwars , @lareinamorgan , @serpentineaerodynamics ,

@envyjmoney, @clementines-valt, @the-pan-liquid

@stellasloth @migueloharasoulmate , @cynwing

[mysaintkitten]

Loser, Baby | Neil lewis x fem!reader

prompt: neil swears he’s grown now and that it’ll take more than a shitty porno to get him hard, so you put him to the test (this based off of a suggestion i was sent !! thank you very much to whoever sent this !! and a quick reminder to feel free to send me prompt and character suggestions hehe)

WARNINGS: subby!neil kinda, unprotected sex (p in v), orgasm denial, i think that’s all ?? (NSFW, no minors)

word count: 2.2k

“the new shipment has come in!” jonathan calls out from the front of the store, lugging in a medium sized cardboard box filled with tapes. he places the box down onto the checkout counter before temporarily leaving to find a box cutter.

you, neil, and lucien gather around the box. you’re a bit confused, you were expecting a shipment sometime next week- what’s this one doing here so early? but after all, you hadn’t been working here for too long so maybe unexpected shipments were normal.

“do you know whats in here?” you ask to lucien and neil, who both claim they have no idea. jonathan returns with the box cutter and slices through the tape that’s sealing the box together, proceeding to then tug the box open.

you peek into the box, and you’re taken aback by what you see- you must be seeing this wrong. VHS tapes filled with graphic covers fill the box, it’s hard to focus on one singular film when all the titles include words like GAPING or FUCK or HORNY. you can’t help but laugh, this must be a gag gift. jonathan and lucien shoot glances at neil before laughing themselves.

you turn to look at neil, but he’s not laughing, he doesn’t even look happy anymore, he looks livid.

“we can’t sell this shit, get rid of it.” he chided, crossing his arms in front of his body.

“what? dude, we can’t just get rid of these perfectly good tapes. we have a mature only section, this could bring in a whole new wav-“ lucien laughs before neil cuts him off, “no. get rid of them. it’s my store and i don’t wanna sell this shit. i don’t care what you do with them, but we aren’t selling them.” neil spat before leaving to head to the storage room.

you had never seen him this agitated, over some simple pornos too. i mean, you guys did have an adult only section and normally neil had no issue with selling those tapes. why were these different?

“guess he still remembers ..” jonathan whispers, snickering quietly with lucien. huh?

“still remembers what?” you ask, wondering if this situation was more layered than you initially thought.

“back in our freshman year of college, we’d rent these tapes and do that freaky-straight-boy circlejerk shit .. whoever came first would lose.” lucien says, beginning to take the tapes out of the box. “neil would lose, almost every time.” jonathan laughs.

god, no wonder he wanted these tapes gone. getting a better look at the covers, they were disgusting. not in an actual disgust way, but just so crude. filthy. and knowing neil was coming to these made an unfamiliar feeling bubble within your stomach. it wasn’t a bad feeling, it was just foreign to you.

jonathan and lucien take a few of the tapes and head to the back office to start figuring out how much they could sell the them for, and you feel your curiosity get the best of you. out of the remaining tapes, you shuffle through until one sticks out to you.

HOT, WET MILF GETS FUCKED HARD

lord, it’s almost refreshing to see a title that leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination. you know exactly what you’re getting into. you grab the tape and slip it into your purse, a new idea stirring within you.

you finish the rest of your shift and the topic of the tapes has seemingly come to a close, no one else mentioning them for the rest of your shift.

as you and neil drive home together, you bring the topic back to the surface.

“what’s wrong with the tapes?” you ask, wanting to hear neil’s side of the story.

he sighs, “i don’t know, it’s just, maybe it’s cause i’m older and stuff like that doesn’t interest me much anymore. or maybe it’s because i’ve realized how demeaning the porn industry is to women ..” he rambles, saying everything except for a direct answer.

“neil, neil, it’s alright.” you chuckle softy, “if you still enjoy porn, that’s okay, i’m not expecting you to lose all interest in viewing sex simply because we’re in a relationship.” you reply, hoping it’ll direct him towards giving you a more honest answer,

he starts to grip the steering wheel slightly, “well, it’s like, you know, i do still like to .. see sex .. but that stuff doesn’t turn me on anymore. i’m grown now.” he almost gloats. you decide to let him have this for a few minutes, or at least until you guys arrive to your shared apartment.

once inside, you decide to bring your idea to light. you place your purse on the couch, “so neil, baby, i’m gonna be honest with you” you say, “jonathan and lucien told me why you feel this way about these tapes, the jerk off sessions, you coming quick ..” you add, he becomes flushed, beginning to stutter while trying to find the right words,

“and since you told me that you’re grown now and that you aren’t into any of that anymore, i wanna put you to the test.” you continue before pulling the tape out of your purse, watching as neil’s eyes dart between the cover of the tape and your face. all while he’s still speechless, you skip the vhs into your tape player.

you approach neil and gently squeeze his wrist, guiding him over to the couch to sit down beside you.

“now, we’re gonna watch this, and whoever gets turned on first loses. since you’re not into it anymore, this should be easy for you, right?” you instructed, enjoying how blatantly nervous neil was. he was full of shit and you both knew that, but his pride overrides all other aspects.

he gulps, “yeah. i’ll be fine. how will i know you aren’t getting wet, though?” he replies back, a bit snarky, almost as if he thought he had stumped you.

“hm, guess we’ll just have to do it like this then ..” you stated, grabbing his hands and slipping it into your pants and underneath your panties, his cold rough hands cupping your warm mound. before he can even process what you did, you slide your hand into his pants and boxers, cupping him the same. he gasps softly, “no, no, this isn’t fair! you can’t just have me hold your pussy and expect me to-” he stammers

“sh, it’s about to start.” you cooed, turning your gaze to the screen.

it’s retro porn, filmed by shitty cameras and filled with shitty acting. all seems to be going well for the first few moments before any of the actual fucking starts, neil’s hips shift uncomfortably beneath your hand, but he’s still soft.

the people on screen begin to kiss, and moan, and grope. before long, the lead milf is on some sort of counter, legs spread with her bare pussy showing. she’s fingering herself in front of her counterpart, gasping and writhing about how wet she is and how badly she needs to be fucked. and before she even has a cock inside of her, you feel neil begin to pulse beneath your hand. he knows he’s lost. you both know. you carefully look over at him, he’s blushing and his brows are furrowed, his lips twitching ever so slightly. poor thing. the tape wasn’t turning you on, but seeing how affected he was, was turning you on.

you don’t mention it and kept this knowledge to yourself, you continue to cup him, but you gradually apply more pressure along with moving your hand around gently, adding some friction to the mix.

he subconsciously begins to grind into your hand slightly, his own fingers getting a bit curious in your pants, toying around gently with your folds. once the woman on screen starts to get actually fucked, neil’s undeniably hard.

you look over at him, your bottom lip tucked between your teeth while smirking, “you lost, baby.” you purr, weakly pumping him.

“n-no! i told you it isn’t fair! i was thinking about you being in these positions and i just got ..” he rambles, “i don’t care, sweetheart. rules are rules.” you cut him off,

“im not a monster, though ..” you murmur before taking your hand out of his pants and sliding his out of yours, you then proceeding to lift your hips off the couch to slip your panties and pants off.

you scoot your back against the armrest and spread your legs for him, “you can have your fun, i can’t just get you worked up and then give you nothing, can i?” you assured, watching as that familiar little grin formed on his face. he slips his pants off and scrambles to get himself between your legs, wasting no time aligning himself with your pussy. spreading your wetness around with his tip.

he nearly whines, “i kept thinking about your pussy .. and how hard it would get me to see you like that .. all spread out and wet ..” he begins to push the head of his cock inside you, “jus’ not fair ..” he mutters,

“worry about that later” you advised, slipping a finger into your mouth before bring that finger down to your clit, rubbing side to side gently against the nub.

that seems to work on him and suddenly he isn’t focused on the fairness of the game anymore. his hands sneak around your thighs, gripping on the soft skin. while slowly thrusting in and out of you, he brings your legs up to his shoulders before picking up his pace. placing small, wet kisses on your inner knees while gripping your hips tightly.

you moan at the gesture, snaking your hands around neil’s torso to tug at his shirt, needing something to grip while he begins to pound into you.

his thrusts are deep and desperate, like he’s that same horny college student all over again, this time with access to actual pussy. knowing how desirous he was for you made you wetter, you could feel him thrusting in and out of you with more ease and you could even hear how slick you had become as he continued to fuck into you, subtle squelching noises begin to mix into the already erotic array of sounds coming from the two of you.

“lemme see your tits, baby ..” he whines, nudging the bottom half of your shirt with his trembling hands, you oblige and lift your shirt up, revealing your bra.

though he wanted to see more, it gets him going none the less. he whimpers as he reaches his hand out to grip your covered tit, kneading the pillowy flesh while slowing down his thrusts slightly

he hooks his finger around the corner of your bra where the cup and strap connects and he pulls it down, just enough to where he can see a good portion of your nipple, a small groan leaving his lips as you feel him twitch inside you. it’s almost cute, seeing a grown man become weak at the sight of a bare nipple. he picks up his pace again and watches the recoil of your barely exposed tit as he pumps into you roughly.

“so beautiful, can’t believe you’re all mine” he moans, you hum in approval, smirking at him through half-lidded eyes, “get to fuck this pretty pussy whenever i like .. you’re a dream.” he purrs, his head going slightly slack against your calf that’s still propped up on top of his shoulder.

“all yours ..” you moan in your most sultry tone, trying to push him closer to the edge, “you gonna come in my pussy, baby?”

he whimpers again, nodding eagerly, gripping your thighs tightly as he picks up his pace.

“gonna come, so close, god, fuck!” he groans, nows the time, you think to yourself.

“stop.” you say firmly, placing a hand flat against his chest, his thrusts slow down before coming to a complete halt.

“wha.. what’s wrong?” he questions, breathlessly, still incredibly close to coming directly inside you.

“pull out.” you reply in the same tone, he whines, but complies.

“what is it? did i do something wrong?” he probes, a worried expression lingering on his face

“no, you didn’t do anything wrong, love. but you lost. and you can’t come until i say so.” you reply, reaching to the floor to grab your discarded pants and panties, his worried expression stays on his face but it shifts to a different type of worried.

“what? no! you can’t! i’m so close ..” he mewls, “you can’t just leave me this hard! i’ll die!”

you chuckle at his exaggerations, “you’ll be fine, it’s not my fault it takes nothing more than a strong gust of wind to get you worked up.” you say softly, bringing your body upright to cup his face before pecking him on the nose.

“i’m going to take a shower ..” you add before standing to your feet, his eyes are wide and his mouth is gaping, it’s comical to you, “you’re gonna be all soapy and wet in the other room and i’m supposed to just sit here, painfully hard, and deal with it?” he whines. you think he may be even cry, him being so pathetic is almost sweet.

“mhm!” you reply, ruffling his hair before turning your body around, leaving him on the couch to go shower.

[mochalate]

[intro] new notification!

msby!atsumu x reader || w/c: 560 Atsumu discovers that the only thing worse than online dating, is dating advice online. a/n: oh look at that, another atsumu fic!! this one is less stressful for me though. its pretty short, with a cute little plot that won't cause me planning paralysis. making edits for atsumu is always so fun <3 i hope you'll read it!!

[chapter 1->]

r/relationship_advice • 3 hours ago

u/fattytuna95

I want to ask out my twin brother's girlfriend.

It's not as bad as it sounds. She's not really his girlfriend.

I'll try to explain.

We're colleagues, sort of. (Me and her— I'd rather starve to death than work for my brother.)

Last month, someone took a picture of us leaving the office. I was only walking her to her car but the person who took the picture wanted to imply that we were dating.

And that wouldn't have been an easy rumour for her to handle, so I got my brother (identical twin) to post a picture with her on his socials.

Obviously, just one picture wouldn't work to convince anyone, so they've been meeting up a couple times a week (they have similar interests, so they were friends already) to be seen together.

Now here's the issue— I never saw her like that before, and I thought it was just fucking annoying to watch people be lovey dovey, fake or not... but one of my other colleagues said it sounded like I was jealous.

And fuck, I am.

Do you think she'd be mad if I asked her out? I reacted pretty badly to the original picture. And I'm worried my brother likes her for real (those photos they're posting are kind of convincing...)

Edit: for everyone asking, no, I can't ask my brother. he'll know why, and if he really does like her I don't want to mess with it. and if he doesn't he won't let me hear the fucking end of it. i can hear the best man speech already.

↑ 25 ↓ •••

u/unicornpoodle • 2 hours ago

lol dude (I'm assuming you're a dude, unless you're a girl who unfortunately is built exactly like your brother) are you sure you like her and aren't just jealous of your brother being happy? fake or not

↑ 50 ↓ •••

u/fattytuna95 • 2 hours ago yeah i'm sure. I cut out a picture of one of my teammates and pasted it over his ugly mug and it made me even angrier. ↑ 35 ↓ •••

u/msbygirlie_13 • 2 hours ago

Oh hey!! I recognise you from the atsumu miya subreddit!! That's so cool you have a twin just like him!! And his brother got a gf recently too!!! (I think they're fr tho lol.)

Okay hmmm this is a tough one. wdym when yuo said 'reacted badly'??? and what was so bad about the rumour in the first place if it's an option for you now???? this is kinda weird ngl.

↑ 42 ↓ •••

u/fattytuna95 • 2 hours ago do you really they're the real deal??? I kind of laughed. And now that I look back at it, I think I might have looked way too eager to put it out there that we weren't dating. like I was disgusted or something. :( I wasn't, I just didn't want her to have any trouble. :( :( I'm sorry, I can't explain the situation any more for privacy reasons. ↑ 20 ↓ •••

u/guiltyassassin_ • 1 hour ago

well you don't have to talk to either of them... you said someone took the original photo. maybe they're still stalking?? ask them what they think?

lmfao you guys are either celebrities or highschoolers with this kinda drama

(also you keep calling your brother ugly, but then say you guys are identical? huh????)

↑ 5 ↓ •••

u/fattytuna95 • 55 minutes ago This is kind of an insane idea, but it does make sense. Maybe I'll do it. (and you wouldn't get it.) ↑ 2 ↓ •••

first chapter tomorrow! please like/reblog/reply/send me an ask if you enjoyed it :) it keeps me going lol [my other fics->] divider: @/cafekitsune

[madlori]

If the only thing you can lord over buddie is that bucktommy is canon, then you really didn't care at all about the ship.

7 seasons of being a family unit, being there for each other, having each other's back but hey! Here comes another underdeveloped love interest, but since it's a man this time, you don't care about Buck being stuck in the same hamster wheel, again, because he's kissing a man and that's hot 🙄

Also for all your doom and gloom about buddie not happening, do remember that Tommy/Eddie was an idea in Tim's mind at first, so Eddie can be read as queer, even if it's not in canon yet.

I guess you don't place much value on them being a family unit and always there for each other, and having each other's back...all of which is still true and will continue to BE true. But it's only important to you as a prelude to them kissing, right? It has no value in and of itself. I love their relationship. I love what they are to each other. But YOU are making me not want to see it, because every time they turn to each other, lean on each other, support each other, we have to listen to you shrieking BUDDIE CANON CONFIRMED or whatever, because to a certain genre of shipper (not all buddie shippers, etc) any interaction or feeling they have with each other exists only in service to the ship.

I swear to god, I'm gonna banish the phrase "hamster wheel" from y'all's mouths until I get an actual definition as to what you think it means, because from where I sit, to you it just means "he's with someone who's not Eddie." To me, it means that Buck continually fell bass-ackwards into relationships that weren't right for him, looking for something he wasn't even sure what it was. And heyyyyy, he's currently in a relationship that he actively chose and fought for, having learned something new and important about himself, with someone who makes him giddy and excited in a way we have never seen him be, who the people around him can see gives him contentment. But none of that matters, because it's not Eddie, and that is by definition his only appropriate partner, so he must still be on that hamster wheel. Also if we're going by creator intent here, Tim's said he wrote this relationship specifically to reflect Buck being off of it.

As for underdeveloped love interest? I wrote an entire ass essay about how MUCH we know about Tommy, and it's reams compared to anything we've ever known about Buck's girlfriends OR Eddie's current girlfriend who does not even have a last name. Tommy has been introduced in a way that integrates him with the 118, with multiple interests, a character arc of his own from his first appearance, a set of motivations and emotional arcs that are NOT about Buck, and something to actually offer in a relationship besides existing. Anyone saying he's underdeveloped is determined to read him as such, especially for the limited amount of time we've had him.

And I never said Eddie couldn't be read as queer. He can EASILY be read as queer. I said he WOULDN'T be. Those are two different things. If Tommy and Eddie had gotten together (which I give no more narrative weight to than Maddie and Eddie getting together, which was also a gleam in the eye at one point) I'd equally be saying that Buck would never be queer.

It's hilarious to me that I'm being accused of liking a ship because it's hot (it is, and I do, and that's...fine? there's nothing bad about that?) as if people enjoy Buddie because of the amorphous purity of it all and not at ALL because it's hot (it is and you should say so).

If my thoughts about this are so upsetting to you, just block me, dude. I promise I won't take it personally.

Also, just...learn to enjoy a ship whether it's canon or not. I've done it, we've all done it. It's not that hard, especially THIS ship, which has so much good stuff to it regardless of whether there's romance or not. Those of us who like Buck with Tommy are not taking away from you enjoying Buddie, or anyone doing so. It's not like...the State of Buddie will lose congressional representation if the population falls below a certain level. The existence of another ship does not affect yours.

[vesppperoro]

Could I request headcannons of the Hazbin Hotel Crew/Staffs Reactions to a batman or moon knight like hero appearing in hell and somehow drastically taking down its crime. ( Let's just say they got the information from the news or something)

Hazbin Hotel Staff with Batman Sinner!Reader (Male)

Includes: Charlie, Vaggie, Angel Dust, Husk, Niffty, Cherri Bomb, Sir. Pentious, Alastor.

A/N: This request is so silly I love it. Sorry if some of them were too short! I couldn’t really think. I’ve been busy cramming for college exams </3

Charlie Morningstar

When she first figured out that the crime rate was decreasing, she was happy. Conflicted, but happy.

Maybe people are actually trying to be better! But.. why?

She didn’t know.

That was, until, she came across a thief one night. She could handle herself perfectly fine, but something stopped the man.

A figure appeared behind the princess of hell and scared off the thief.

She turned around and saw you! Your face was covered with a mask, so she couldn’t tell who you were.

Before she could say anything, you dashed off. She tried to follow but you disappeared into the night.

She told Vaggie about you and they proceeded to look for you.

They almost gave up. If it wasn’t for you showing up at the front of the hotel, of course.

Charlie was overjoyed! But how did you get into Hell anyways? Why were you so hellbent on fixing the crime rates in Hell?

At least you were trying to help.

You support her idea BIG TIME. You even became the protector of the Hotel! If anyone dared to oppose it or attack it, they’d be swiftly dealt with by you.

She’s OBSESSED with your gadgets. She loves how unique they all are!

She obsesses over your cape.

You two have definitely sung a song together. Maybe something relating to wanting to redeem sinners, Heaven being in the way, and to not relent due to that fact.

Vaggie

She was weirded out by you, to be honest.

It’s HELL, there’s always gone be crime. Why would someone try to stop it?

Either way, she tried not to think about it.

However, when her girlfriend showed interest, she lightened up. Anything for her, Y’know?

You two have pretty deep conversations, especially about the world.

You two spend nights together sometimes! You’re up during those hours anyways and she is as well (sometimes).

You both watch over the hotel and have fun while doing so.

I’d say you both became close friends.

Angel Dust

He treated you like any other man. He flirted with you ALL the time.

He teases you about your name and sexualizes the hell out of your outfit.

He didn’t really get too close. That was, until, you came with him and the group whenever Charlie and Vaggie went to talk to heaven.

When you nearly beat the shit out of Valentino, Angel began to see you as more than some dude who protects the hotel.

The fact you didn’t even show that you were doing it for him made it better. He wouldn’t have to suffer for it the next day.

You tried to break him out of the contract, to no avail. He was happy you cared for him, however.

You’re very protective over him. He appreciates it, but he never admits it.

He loves your gadgets but he always asks if you have sex gadgets. You always deny it but he still asks.

You probably go with him and Cherri whenever they go out so you can make sure they’re safe.

Husk

He also found you weird. As I stated before, it’s HELL, why would you try to destroy crime rates?

You and him became friends after a while though.

You two have deep conversations as well.

You two are probably best friends.

Songs!! You two have sung together before.

He likes when you mess with his wings. He would never admit it, but he does.

When he saw you in action one day… oh my. THAT was the day his respect for you grew.

That and the few times you stuck up for him when it came to Alastor.

You two hang out often. You’re almost never seen apart!

Niffty

Oh boy.

She calls you the “bad boy killer”. She kicked your shins when she first met you.

You grew on her though…. When you tried to help her kill Valentino.

She LOVES climbing you.

Whenever she’s not cleaning, she’s on your shoulder.

You sometimes have to stop her from stabbing someone or burning down the kitchen.

She’s a little much, but you find her adorable.

She likes coming with you whenever you fight crime.

She says it’s because she likes seeing bad boys be punished.

It kinda scares you but you don’t say anything.

Cherri Bomb

Honestly, she found you hot.

How protective you are over them, the way you fight, the way you’re mysterious.

She likes your little bombs because.. yk… explosives are her thing.

She hangs out with you at times.

She took you out once with Angel and… it didn’t end too well.

You ended up beating the shit out of some HORRID people.

She thinks you’re cool. You two aren’t besties, however.

Whenever you fought with them in the war, she loved how you still protected everyone.

She tends to your wounds sometimes and calls you a dumbass.

She won’t admit it, but she wished you two were closer.

Sir. Pentious

He LOVES your gadgets! He’s an inventor too, y’know.

You two often talk about your projects and weapons.

Sometimes he asks you to make something with him, which you do.

He’s very interested in your stuff lol. He loves your costume too!

His Egg Boiz found your suit AWESOME.

You made them tiny versions of yours and they LOVED it.

You two are relatively close.

He finds you very cool. He likes hanging out with you!

Just two buds with awesome weapons bonding.

Alastor

Like some others, he found you weird.

He still doesn’t like you. He finds you to be annoying.

You actually care for the hotel, so he’s not very fond of you.

You take down crime rates, which is one of the main reasons he gets deals and shit in the first place. Because of this, you make him angry.

You also don’t smile much, so he teases you about it.

He treats you like he treats Lucifer.

You’re just another nuisance to him.

Your power does worry him a bit.

And he also doesn’t like the fact your technology is more advanced. It reminds him of Vox.

Maybe tried to strike a deal with you, but you declined.

[scandinavianfairytale]

Safe in your arms

Pairing: Tangerine x Reader

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, misogyny, threat of violence (not towards the Reader)

A/N: I decided his real name is Ethan, with no context or back story. I just like the name and it would suit him 😁

Tangerine had your number memorized - he ought to, given how many times he has dialed it. In fact, he memorized it as soon as you wrote it on the piece of napkin when he met you in that rooftop bar in London.

He was working with Lemon, completely focused on their target, until he saw you getting harassed. He stepped in, kissing your cheek, and met the man's eyes. The dude was visibly shaken.

"You didn't say you had a new toy."

"I don't owe you anything, Marcus. Least of all a list of who I'm seeing." You glared at the man.

"Have fun with a used woman." Marcus spat at Tangerine. As he turned around, Tangerine wanted to grab him by the neck and throw him off of the roof, but your hand stopped him.

"Leave him. His ego is wounded, and he's lashing out." You waved your hand and let go of the situation.

"What a child." Tangerine muttered.

"Male fragility more like it."

"Do you usually go for men like that?"

"I don't date boys - him included." You finally met Tangerines' eyes.

"So what happened to him?"

"I told him I'm not interested, but he has yet to grasp that idea."

"How many times did you have to say no?"

"I think now it was the fourth time."

"Why keep being polite?"

"Because being mean might get me in trouble."

"Well, I'd be happy to assist you. If you want him to stop bothering you, just say the word and you will never hear from him again."

Your eyebrows shot up and you considered the man in front of you. He was very handsome. Strong, but at the same time still delicate.

"I don't doubt you'd do that, but I don't need your help. Thank you, though. That was very kind of you to jump in before." You smiled at him and jumped off the bar stool. Only then did you realize how much taller he really was.

"Wait. I know that this is a bit forward of me, but I was hoping you'd give me your phone number?" Tangerine wanted to bite his tongue immediately after saying those words.

He was glad his mouth was quicker than his brain. Five years later, and you were still in his life. The phone rang six times, before he heard your still groggy voice pick up.

"It's nine am, Love. Are you still in bed?" Tangerine grinned.

"Ethan, morning." He could hear you smile. He loved hearing his name roll from your lips. He could picture you right now, lazing around, still in your underwear with his T-shirt, with the work laptop turned on, giving the illusion that you were already working.

"It's already evening here." He almost scolded.

"When are you coming back? I feel like it's been weeks since I saw you."

"Have you been thinking about me?" Tangerine smirked as he whispered into the phone, looking around to see if anyone was listening.

"You know I have." You smirked into the phone on your side of the world. "Although I appreciate that no one is hogging the whole bed every night." You joked.

"I hate to tell you this, Love, but you're the bed hog."

"Agree to disagree." You smiled. "Are you okay?"

"I'm doing good. How are you holding up?" Tangerine looked out of the window at the passing landscape.

"I'm okay. I met some friends yesterday, and we ended up going for cocktails. It was a bad idea, drinking on a work day." You giggled.

"I'm glad you had fun. But take it easy today, and please don't go out jogging if you feel sick."

"Ethan, stop worrying about me, just come home as soon as you can, okay?" Your voice got serious.

"Okay. We are almost done, I'll be there hogging the bed again in no time." Tangerine smiled.

"Okay. I love you." You smacked your lips, sending him a vitual kiss.

"I love you." He smiled and hung up.

Contrary to his fantasy, you have been up for the last 3 hours, worrying about your boyfriend. He should've been back several days ago, but he took an extra job since he was already in Tokyo. But something felt off to you, and you have been worried since then. Going out drinking helped you out with putting the nagging feeling away at least for a bit. But then you woke up from another nightmare, still drunk from a few hours before.

However, hearing him just now made you feel so much better and you were able to focus and stop dreading what may go wrong. You went back to hoping and impatiently waiting for Ethan to be back, safe in your arms.

Thank you for reading ✨️😊

The GIF belongs to the amazing creator 🙏✨️

[cryingat300kph]

Pretty Thing

Pairing: Sebastian Vettel x Boytoy!Mechanic!Reader

(Bad) Summary: When Ferrari gets a new pretty boy for a mechanic a certain 4x world champion takes notice.

Rating: M Warning(s): Mentions of sex, but no actual sex. Cursing. Use of Y/N. Allusion to homophobia in sports. F slur (but in a self-descriptive and reclaimed way) -Not Proofread-

Length: 1.4K Words

A/N: This is Seb in his chaotic flirt Ferrari era, like 1st/2nd year at Ferrari vibes. Also the ending is kinda cut off because I lost steam, but wanted to put something out. Let me know if ya’ll want this continued, I have ideas ;) <3

“Lewis look, that’s who I was talking about.” Seb says poking Lewis’s arm gesturing towards the bar. “Him?!” Lewis asks turning back to Seb. “Yeah.” Seb suppresses the urge to add Isn’t he pretty? “Damn I'm surprised they would hire a mechanic so-“ “so gay?” Sebastian supplies. “Heh-Yeah.” “Well he usually doesn’t look like that.” Seb says again gesturing towards the man.

The “that” Seb is referring to is the absolute twink uniform you are wearing. You might as well be wearing a flashing sign reading “I like dick! ;)” And Sebastian thinks you look completely and utterly delectable; more than usual.

He’d had his eyes on you since you joined the team at the top of the year. At first he noticed you because were young for someone not on the PR team, and far too handsome to not be in a more front-facing role. He was glad he was known to make sure to get to know all new members of the Ferrari family, because it meant he could satisfy this curiosity; finding out you had climbed the ladder at the factory quickly and had always wanted nothing more than to be in the garage track-side.

His interest in you only grew as he got to know you better. He knew obviously that as a mechanic you weren’t just a pretty face, but he soon found out you weren’t just either of those things. But someone who was extremely funny, kind and just as much of a nerd about racing as he was.

And so, a friendship slightly-beyond coworkers started to form. Now, at halfway through the season you two could be called proper friends, but your friendship is still very tied to work. Either way, you feel comfortable around Seb, comfortable enough to speak freely of your interests and life outside of racing. However, one thing he doesn’t know about you was that you don’t mind sharing a bed with a man.

Its hard being queer in formula one. It’s 2015 and huge strides have been made, but motorsports lags behind. Especially as someone who is involved in a more “masculine” job at Ferrari you keeps your more flamboyant tendencies under wraps. European ideas of masculinity help a lot, but it’s still a bit lonely, stressful and draining, to be closeted.

Hence why you’re here.

It had been a stressful race weekend, but Seb ultimately got podium and everyone was rightfully really happy and the team planned to go for drinks with the winning Mercedes team.

Seb had protested a bit when you said you thought you’d sit this one out. “I would, trust me, but I’ve had this headache all day and I doubt a hangover will make it any better.” You lied. He had seemed to come back to himself, like his earlier protest was a slip. Laughing it off. “You’re right, go, rest. We need your brain intact!”

You had chuckled at that saying bye to him and driving back to the hotel to get changed before heading out for your real plans. You felt bad lying to Seb but after this weekend a guy needed some attention damn it! But most importantly you wanted to dress how you want and exist how you want for once even just for a couple of hours.

---

Without you at the party Sebastian is more melancholy than usual. He's cursing himself for crushing like a teenager, but without you there he’s lost interest. “Dude is this about the guy you told me about.” Lewis asks seeing Seb is obviously down about something. “what? no- it” “Where is he? Go talk to him!" “He’s not here, had a headache so he stayed back.” “Well you don’t seem to be having fun so go after him, just ask to hang out.” “But the team, i should-.” “Kimi is enough of a party for the team, he’d probably enjoy the company.” Lewis nudges him. “You know why I can’t Lewis.” Seb says seriously. “Yeah.” Lewis agrees and they’re silent for a bit before he speaks up again, mischief in his voice. “But maybe we could find some other entertainment for the night. To quell the ache?” “What are you suggesting?” Seb asks suspicious. “There’s a bar a couple blocks from here. Heard its a discreet spot, good for cruising.” He says like he’s stating the weather and not suggesting the two biggest F1 drivers at the moment go cruising for gay sex.“What if someone sees us.” “we’re in America, no one knows who we are.” And Seb is just tipsy enough, and yearning to fuck a stranger and imagine it’s you, so he agrees.

“Let’s do it!”

---

And so, Sebastian now finds himself at a loss for words, staring at you. At you, sipping a cocktail, half sitting on a bar stool, your back slightly arched. Honestly the picture is so inviting. Lewis is just looking at him with a smirk.

Sebastian sees that a couple men obviously have their eyes on you too. He watches as the bartender hands you a drink gesturing to one of the said men. You look over and the man starts to get up. Seb feels his fists tighten, but he relaxes when you hand the drink back to the bartender looking at the man apologetically. He’s glad the man gets the idea and sits back down, Seb doesn’t want to think what he would have done if the man had persisted.

Wait, so maybe you’re just out for a nice night alone, he doesn’t want to disturb that. But dressed like that? He’s having a hard time resisting.

“Lewis what do I do?” He asks. “The flirt is asking me?“ Lewis scoffs, but when Seb just looks at him annoyed, he Chuckles; he’s never seen the confident man so nervous before. “Just, go get him tiger.”

He knows it’s now or never, so Sebastian goes to the opposite end of the bar and tells the bartender to get you a drink.

-- The bartender hands you another drink. It’s top shelf which catches your eye. A couple men have bought you shots and stuff throughout the night but so far when the bartender pointed to who they all weren’t your type. Or they quickly stopped being your type the moment they opened their mouths.

When you ask who, this time, the bartender cocks his head to the end of the bar. You look over and it’s Sebastian! Your eyes go wide, unsure of what to do. What is he doing here?! Here, where you are looking like a complete faggot and nothing like you do at work. But he’s your friend right, he would’ve found out eventually and he just bought you a drink?

You tamp down the flicker of hope that tries to spark. So you just smile and raise the drink to him raising your eyebrows. It’s friendly coworker shit right? He’s just being nice. Your brain is forced to stop working overtime when he approaches you and starts speaking.

“I could barely recognize you y/n!” He says smiling and friendly, but with a hint of something? And he is blatantly looking you up and down. Tongue between his teeth. Oh. You can’t help lighting up despite being nervous. “Well let’s just say the Ferrari uniform is not my personal style.” You joke. “This definitely suits you much better.” He blatantly flirts, which catches you bit off guard, but you try not to show it, excitement now replacing your nerves. “You think the boss will let me wear a crop top to work?” “Maybe I could ask him nicely.” Sebastian says and then leans closer.

“Having something so pretty in my garage can only bring me good luck right?” “Oh, I don’t think you need luck, Seb.” You laugh because now you are definitely blushing.

“Every driver needs luck.” He says low.

The way he's looking at you. It’s almost too much. It’s everything you’ve ever wanted. In the span of a few minutes you’ve basically come out to a coworker turned friend, but also discovered that apparently Sebastian Vettel, Ferrari driver, four time world champion also likes men. And now said Ferrari driver and friend is flirting with you.

You can't wait to see where the night goes.

[alphajocklover]

I saw this super hot biker dude on my way home and I was wondering if you could make me like him? I’ve always been a nice guy but I want to experience life as a total bad boy. I mean everything, the muscles, the tattoos, the straight promiscuous sex, being in a gang doing crime. All the bad boy biker things. You think you could make me that way dude?

I actually haven’t done much with bikers. I don’t really know why, but besides that one wolverine based transformation I haven’t so much as mentioned bikers. I suppose it could be because I’m slightly obsessed with jocks and tend to focus on them more than others but it’s not like I haven’t reported on different transformations, like surfers, dilfs, and even greasers before. Yet I’ve almost never mentioned bikers before, and I’ve absolutely never turned someone into one. There's a first time for everything though, and bikers are really hot. However, before we turn you into a bad boy biker we need to figure out how you’re going to become one. Most of the transformation methods I have on hand are jock based. But… There is one thing I have on hand that would be perfect for you.

It’s a motorcycle. Yes I own a motorcycle. It’s not really mine, I’ve never ridden it or used it. I actually inherited it from an Uncle, but that’s another story. I haven’t got a clue on how to ride it, and if I was going to use a motorcycle I’d probably use something else. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a well made machine, and it looks cool as hell, but if I were to put the key in the ignition and start the engine… while you can probably guess where this is going.

It won’t happen all at once. It’s going to be a more gradual than you’d think. You’ll gain muscle slowly over the next few weeks, just slowly enough that it seems less like magic and more like an unexpected growth spurt. The mental changes will go at about the same rate, with you slowly losing old interest over the next few weeks, replacing your geeky hobbies with more… biker appropriate ones. You’re going to end up with a fascination with motorcycles, a love of beer, and a knack for getting into trouble. The most starling change will probably be the tattoos, as I believe they’ll just appear towards the end of your transformation. In a matter of weeks you’ll go from a skinny nothing to a beefy, beer guzzling, motorcycle obsessed, pussy fucking leader of a biker gang. Yes, you’ll be the leader. You’ll probably attract a gang quickly without much effort too. People are gonna be drawn to you, your sheer badass manliness.

No more mister nice guy for you. From here on out you’re anything but fucking nice.

**hey there guys! Hope you like the Biker TF. It was nice to try something new. And it gave me an idea for the mystery uncle I mentioned. Enjoy!**

[r--kt]

Kid Kakashi is getting away from responsibility! does he?

I once saw an opinion that «Kakashi adheres to the rules to avoid responsibility for his actions so that he always has a safety net», and it seems to me that this is a fairly common misconception. so here's the thing...

contents | analysis of Kakashi and Sakumo's motives, a little speculation on the topic. also the text is a bit messy

Sakumo commits suicide. the parent as a the only support in Kakashi's life has been lost, and Kakashi needs to grow up quickly, become responsible and not make paternal mistakes. a five-to-seven-year-old child must figure out the dilemma of an adult who raised him. not a bad task, huh?

the moral dilemma is as follows: should I recognize a warrior as a soul worthy of life, or as a tool used to save the majority?

a small child, by the way, should take it upon himself. he is this warrior. let me rephrase, it's "should I recognize myself as a soul worthy of life, or as a tool used to save the majority? what way should I recognise my father? what way he recognised himself by committing suicide?"

everything that happened makes Kakashi wonder if he (a shinobi) is worthy of living if he doesn't defend his homeland. a healthy little child would say "yes/idk/idc, let's go play". a child who experiences the suicide of a father deprived of honor and hounded for such humanity due to violation of military regulations chooses to consider himself unworthy. is it a fear of responsibility? let's take a closer look at the accents.

CH 240. Minato and Obito's conversation.

so Sakumo saves his Shinobi group. he does this because he knows that they will not cope with the mission and will die in vain, without benefiting the village, and, moreover, harming it with the loss of labor. and, obviously, this was done out of humane motives, which is what the emphasis is on. what does Sakumo do as a team captain? Sakumo, who is clearly a skilled strategist and/or warrior, since he's compared in strength/fame to the three Sannins. he's retreating. does he do it just like that, without having a way out and a plan to come back? well, hardly. the dude has to be damn smart, judging by the way he was introduced. but will the embittered, war-weary shinobi figure out all the subtleties of the failure of Sakumo? the question is rhetorical.

let's think (I can't assert this, but it sounds logical) Sakumo wanted to return to the village to develop a new plan with a larger team, but did not have much time, because enemy attacked the land of Fire earlier. the consequence is hundreds, possibly thousands of civilian lives and so on. Sakumo would not be a respected captain if he simply refused the mission out of fear of someone else's death. fear of the meaninglessness of someone else's death? maybe. rather, it was a sense of duty to his team, a sense of the very responsibility for his leadership to these people. these things are not the same.

Sakumo's actions are driven by risk. the mission is a failure, but it was certainly intended as a justified failure. however, there is no point in proving this to others, they will not enter the position, because «you are the captain who gave the wrong order. you're a captain who broke the rules. you are to blame for these deaths.» a bunch of rescued shinobi are nothing against the background of thousands of war dead. and even this bunch thinks you fucked up, Captain.

Interesting how, from Obito's words, we can find out that there is another opinion about Sakumo, a more positive(?) one. «in the line of duty» — that's how they call it, huh. I also want to note that Minato emphasizes the following idea: Sakumo was vilified and slandered. no one just wanted to figure out if he was this guilty.

so the whole topic was not about to be responsible or not. it's about responsibility as a duty and as a choice. It's about responsibility to a metaphorical face of the country and responsibility to specific people of that country. it's about different approaches to understanding humanity, peace, sacrifice, honour, about rethinking the duty of shinobi and the so-called will of Fire. and, most importantly, Sakumo's story is about the dishonour and disgrace that can come when no one wants to figure out why you acted that way. and no one should have, it's just circumstances. when you mess up, all your comrades stop being your friends and take on the face of a single military structure that doesn't care whether you wanted it better or not. you messed up, you violated the rules, and so many people died because of you, scum.

Naruto Shippuden. Ending 33.

and with Sakumo's death, it all falls on his child. he's the son of a traitor. of course Kakashi's behavior afterward is a defense mechanism. (which I would like to talk about separately) if he was so afraid of responsibility, then why did he rush up the ranks? he would have sat as a genin and kept his head down. what kind of irresponsibility are we talking about?

Kakashi is not about irresponsibility and the consequences of it, after which he became responsible. he was already like that, in his own way, but it led to the disaster — again. that's the point. It's about fighting disgrace, and about trying to avoid unwanted consequences by one behavior, during which he got even worse.

so, I just seemed to justify Sakumo (can do vice versa) to show the background of Kakashi's behaviour and his attachment to rules. he doesn't just act out of spite and is not protected by the rules (to some extent, but not to the one mentioned at the beginning). he really concluded that in order to prevent civilian casualties, he would sometimes have to sacrifice his loved ones. and it's better not to have these loved ones at all. as events have shown, shinobi has no right to put his interests above, because his task is to protect others. it's selfish and disgraceful. he understood that shinobi is a tool. this is what Kakashi came to after Sakumo's death, because everything pointed to this: the fact that Sakumo was harassed by the same people he saved, and the fact that he was basically slandered by the whole village, and the fact that he himself eventually committed not a simple, not some kind of, but namely a ritual suicide with his own tanto.

so many people can't be wrong, can they? well... another rhetorical question.

[mypoisonedvine]

Omg but imagine after love bites she's cheering at a game and there's a new kid who doesn't know who she's with and he won't shut UP about how hot she is and how he's gonna ask her out after the game and eddie is 2 seats above him just SEETHING and has to be held back from just leaping down and strangling this dude lmaoo I love these characters, he would be so jealous

He could hear Jeff telling him to ignore it, that it wasn't worth it-- that a transfer student who didn't know any better wasn't worth it.

And he was right, but Eddie could barely listen to the calming voice of his friend as he glared forward at that kid who had no idea what he'd just gotten himself into.

Eddie was used to all eyes on his girl; and he knew that not all those eyes had chaste intentions. But looking is free, and he didn't feel threatened by anyone else's interest at you-- in fact, when possible, he tried to take it as a compliment. It feels good to have something everyone wants and know that it's yours.

But what doesn't feel good is hearing some punk kid say such filthy things about your girlfriend-- your angel, the love of your life.

The first "wow, she's hot" wasn't too bad, on paper... but the way he said it just didn't sit right with Eddie. He tilted his head to the side, cracking his neck, when the kid said something he didn't catch entirely about your legs. He didn't need to head all of it to know he didn't like it.

"Nice pair, too," Eddie heard him mumble to his friend, and his teeth started grinding together. I hope you're talking about her eyes, kid, for your sake...

Only when he felt Jeff grab his wrist did he notice that his hand was balled into a fist. If the offending student had been sitting in the row right in front of him, Eddie would've already pummeled him-- but he was two rows ahead, and yet Eddie was still considering reaching over and dragging the kid back by the scruff of his neck so he could make sure everyone knew that was his girl up there.

You gave a high kick with a smile, and any other night Eddie would be clapping his hands together and cheering you on-- you liked to tease him for being a cheerleader for a cheerleader himself. Instead, Eddie's hands were over his face, clasped in front of his nose as he looked at you and tried not to think about anything else. "Oh, I hope she does that again," the transfer junior groaned, "I wanna see up her skirt--"

"Hey!" Eddie barked, but with the roar of the stadium, he wasn't audible even just two rows away.

"God, the things I'd do to her--"

Losing his patience, Eddie stood up just as much as he needed too and reached over to grab the kid's shoulder. He turned around with a confused look on his face that Eddie would just love to introduce to his fist, but he composed himself.

"Watch what you say about her," Eddie warned him.

"What?" the junior scoffed. "It's none of your business, man."

"That's my girl," he informed him sternly, but another great cheer move (that Eddie had missed because of this dumbass kid) made the crowd clap and whoop, leaving Eddie inaudible again.

"What?" the kid yelled, a genuine expression this time.

"That's my girl," Eddie yelled back, a little too loud now that some of the noise had died down.

The junior looked at you, and then at Eddie, and then at you again, and finally looked at Eddie with a huge grin. "Her?!" he chuckled. "Yeah, sure."

"I'm her boyfriend," Eddie insisted.

"You...? Come on, get real-- that's never gonna happen."

Eddie took a deep breath, shutting his eyes for a moment. Getting expelled for strangling a mid-adolescent after all this work to finally graduate would be such a waste...

"Seriously, watch it," Eddie warned him, sitting back down.

"Okay," the kid promised facetiously, rolling his eyes as he turned to watch you again.

Don't do it, he's just a kid, Eddie instructed himself internally, he's just a kid... don't do anything stupid, Eddie...

The kid leaned closer to his friend, but he still wasn't quiet enough for Eddie not to hear: "Do you think she'd go out with a junior?"

Splashing his face in the deserted bathroom, Eddie hoped he could wash those words out of his ears. The only way he'd been able to stop himself from obliterating that kid was by all but running out of the gym, hiding here in the men's bathroom and staring at his reddened face in the mirror.

He couldn't figure out why it bothered him so much. The kid had no chance with you, so it wasn't like he was worried about competition. And this was far from the first time another guy had had a crush on you... who could blame them? Popular, sweet, pretty as all get out-- there wasn't much to dislike.

Eddie spent the rest of the game laying on the empty football field, smoking a joint to try to soothe himself. It was working, but not quite fast enough. He was still almost ready to go back in there and make that loser pay for talking about you with so little respect. I wanna see up her skirt, god, Eddie saw red when he heard that.

He knew the game was over when he heard the sound of students pouring out into the parking lot; he lifted his head up just long enough to see the wave of people exiting the gym from across the field, before sighing and laying down completely again, taking a long inhale of the joint and watching his cloud of smoke float up into the sky when he let it out.

He heard footsteps coming closer a few minutes later, and turned his head to see you approaching. He smiled, and you picked up your pace until you jogged right up to him and collapsed onto the ground by his side.

"Hey," you greeted, resting your head on his shoulder. "Where'd you go? I didn't see you for the entire second half..."

He shrugged, not sure what excuse to offer yet. "I just came out to smoke. Needed to clear my head."

You smirked a little bit, and he raised one of his eyebrows. "Clear your head, huh?" you nodded. "Does that have anything to do with the new kid who just tried to ask me out after the game-- who was sitting right in front of you at half time?"

Eddie coughed, thankful he could at least try to blame it on the weed. Nothing gets past you, he knew that, but he was almost impressed that kid actually had the balls to ask you out like that. Shit, even Eddie hadn't been able to do that until a month into seeing each other in secret.

"I mean, at least he stayed to watch my whole game," you noticed, "maybe I should take him up on it."

Eddie sat up, tossing the joint aside to grab you by the waist. "God, honey, don't even joke about that."

"Sorry," you giggled, "you know you have nothing to worry about."

"What did you say to him?" Eddie wondered.

"I told him that I have an amazing--" you kissed Eddie's cheek-- "sexy--" you kissed the other-- "badass boyfriend that he would have to answer to if he hit on me again."

Eddie smiled and kissed you on the lips, holding you a little tighter. "That's my girl," he praised, grinning into the kiss.

"Yeah," you sighed, "your girl, Ed..."

He hummed proudly just before slipping his tongue into your mouth. It was the way you moaned when he kissed you deeper, that was what made him start to move his hand lower and lower, until it was sliding up your thigh under your skirt. "Say that again," he ordered in a whisper.

"Your girl," you repeated, whimpering when his middle finger dragged slowly over the seam of your cunt through the mini-shorts under your skirt. "Fuck, Eddie-- somebody could see..."

"They're all the way over there," he shrugged, smiling when he found your clit-- even through all those layers, when you were turned on, it wasn't hard to find.

"But they can still see," you insisted, glancing nervously at the crowd just across the field.

"What if I want them to see?" he purred. "You're not gonna tell me to stop, are you?"

You shook your head.

"Of course you won't," he whispered, kissing down your neck as he slipped his fingers inside the fabric-- finding you soaked for him, hearing you gasp as he teased your folds. "You don't want me to stop, sweetheart, because it feels too good, right? It feels good to be my girl, doesn't it?"

"So good, Eddie," you agreed, reaching down to grab his wrist when he pressed down hard on your clit. It wasn't a sign to stop, just a sign that he was pushing it-- but he wanted to push it. He needed to make you come and he didn't want to kill any more time.

If he'd been sober, he would've just started with one finger, but he was stoned and emotional and he had something to prove; he slipped two fingers inside you at once, making you gasp loudly and squeeze his wrist tightly with one hand while the other had an iron grip on his shoulder.

"F-fuck, Eddie," you whined, starting to rock your hips and try to ride his fingers. Even when he was worried it would be too much for you, you always wanted more-- one of the many things he loved about you. He smiled and curled his fingers inside you, rubbing that rougher spot that made your eyes roll back. "Oh god-- fuck, is anyone looking?"

Eddie glanced over at the crowd-- he barely had the will power to look away from you but he did it somehow-- and didn't notice anyone staring in your direction. They were all busy finding their cars or getting picked up in somebody else's, not noticing the head cheerleader out on the field with her boyfriend's hand inside her skirt.

"What if they were?" Eddie asked you coyly. "What if they saw how I make you feel with just my fingers-- what would you do?"

"I..." you stalled, whimpering as he twisted his fingers inside you. "I wouldn't do anything."

Groaning loudly, Eddie started to really fuck his fingers into you then, as deep as they could go with his rings on. You went limp, and he held you up with his left arm under your back while the right was obviously busy. His lips latched onto your neck, his tongue tracing your pulse while he felt your pussy clench down tight around him.

"I'm close," you whimpered, "I'm so close..."

"Already, babe?" he chuckled, and you whined in that way he knew meant I hate that you're making fun of me right now but please don't stop.

"Yes," you breathed, "yes, I... I like when you get jealous."

He raised an eyebrow at that, trying not to lose his speed while he held this conversation with you. "You like seeing me lose my mind over you, is that it?"

"I..." you sighed, moaning in between your words, "I like when you remind me..."

He wasn't making it easy for you to talk, not when he refused to relent his pace, but he was so close to making you come and he wasn't about to stop now.

"I like when you remind me who I belong to," you finished, and he laughed.

"Sweetie, I do that all the time... you don't need to go around getting asked out by other guys for that," he cooed. "Don't need to give me a heart attack, joking about saying yes. You know better than that, baby, you know I couldn't fucking take it if you left me--"

"Eddie, I would never--" you began, cutting yourself off with a moan. "Fuck, I'm sorry! I'm gonna come-- oh god..."

"Come on my fingers, honey," he encouraged softly, watching proudly as your head fell back with a cry of his name. "Shh, that's it," he soothed, "that's my girl, my good girl-- all mine, coming so hard just for me..."

Well, the orgasm itself might be just for Eddie, but when you sighed and relaxed under him as your orgasm faded, he glanced back towards the crowd of people and saw a familiar transfer student staring blankly in your direction. He was pretty far away, too far to be sure what he was looking at, but somehow Eddie could see the dumbfounded expression on his face. Eddie smiled and pulled his fingers out of you, careful not to move the fabric of your shorts too much so you could preserve a little modesty. Laying you down in the grass as you caught your breath, he guided you to close your legs before he sucked the sticky arousal off of his fingers.

Well, you wanted to see up her skirt again, didn't you, kid? Guess you got your wish.