#but my brain is not into critical thinking atm

[aropride]

i love psychology classes i love this shit. because i know like everyything but i get to share my opinions on the reading and i LOVE having opinions

[heck-theo]

TMayNT Day 31: Redraw of day one. (Original prompt was: the turtles in you favourite style.)

Ok there are so many ways my brain is trying to be critical BUT I am proud of myself for finishing one of these challenges, no matter what. I've tried and failed to commit to so many projects.

Just to clarify: my own style is NOT my favourite style. I am far too self critical for that. I just entirely ignored the prompt ^^

vvvv Comparison pic and comments on day 1 v day 31 below. vvvv

So for one thing I did want to de-centre Leo a bit, cause the original day 1 prompt was favourite turtle and I DO love them all, Leo just has a special place to me. I also wanted them to not be floating.

Now I do prefer some parts of the original, mainly the simplicity. I do want to try and aim for a more simplified style in the future (if I can stop defaulting to the style I have atm). I might have gone a little overboard with the lighting on the more recent one. STFU up brain, I did not get worse. But it was fun. I think it's good to explore and practice parts of the art process even if it isn't something you want to stick to. I do think I learnt a lot of stuff and made some improvements over the month.

also bonus cute Raph face that I liked from one of the first attempts but I ended up restarting

[eucalyptus-lvs]

Good Luck Charm - Carmen Berzatto x Reader

This is the first story I've posted, but I have other ideas if you guys want more. Writing has become a new outlet for me so I appreciate any constructive criticism or any thoughts you may have. Carmy is such a fun character to write for and my own personal brain rot atm. I hope to do more in the future. I also like to listen to music while I write and I feel like Again by Still Woozy goes well with this one.<3

TW: Idk honestly. Mentions of dead brothers, debt, and a heated makeout?

"You think if you scrub any harder you'll put a hole in the floor?" 

He stood quickly. Startled by your presence in the kitchen. "What are you still doing here? Thought you left like an hour ago." 

"Well, I was gonna, but then I feared if I left without you you'd still be here when I come in for my shift tomorrow.” You took a few small steps forward. As if you were worried you'd scare him off. There always seemed to be this air around you two. One that was hard to ignore in the times you had spent alone together. “Then I thought you could use some time to wind down before I attempt to push you out the door so I tried to see if I could make any progress on Mikey's paperwork." 

"Did you?" Tossing the rag into the container and moving his hands to his hips. 

"I think that would depend on your definition of progress"

"Yeah, well I haven't exactly been able to figure that shit out either." 

"We'll figure it out, Carm."

He sighed and looked around the kitchen. "I've just got a couple more-" 

"Nope." You take strides across the kitchen to get to him. "Those couple things will turn into another couple things until you've managed to work yourself into an early grave from exhaustion. I mean you're a head chef and you frequently forget to eat. It sounds like the beginning of a bad joke." You laugh, trying to reach for the keys to the restaurant. Only for him to snatch them off the counter and out of arms reach. "Carmy-" 

"Nice try" He moved them out of reach again. 

"Will you just-" You attempt to reach for them again as he manages to move them further from you.

“Oooh, you were so close that time.” Leaning against the counter, he barks out a laugh. Probably a product of the years he had spent smoking. 

“Cut it out. C’mon.” You said shyly ducking your head a bit. 

“Sorry, just enjoyin’ this way too much.'' He covered his mouth with his hand to hide his growing grin. There was something about you that he found so comfortable. He wonders if that's the reason he finds himself being so bold in this moment. 

Leaning to the side, you prop yourself against the counter next to him. Settling in and resigning to the fact that he is not going to make getting him out the door easy for you. “You were one of those guys in high school, weren't you?” Narrowing your eyes a bit. 

“An’ what kinda guy would that be?” He challenged.

“Y'know- The guy. Mr. Fuckin’ Popular. Had the girls lining up for you. Always good for a laugh.” Your teasing tone let him know that you weren't all that upset at him poking fun at you. 

“Think the only laugh I'd be good for is if you knew how wrong you were.” 

“Bullshit.” You shot back, shaking your head. 

“No, really. I uh- pretty much stuck to myself. Just hung around Mikey and Richie. The family mostly. Was too fuckin’ awkward to make my own friends. Had this stutter too. Didn't really bother talkin’ to anyone if I didn't have to.” This time he ducked his head. Scratching the back of it like he was embarrassed to admit it.

“Well, you don't seem to have a problem talking to me.” 

He shrugged. “It's different. Different time too.”

Your eyes met for a moment as you both took a pause. “I think we would have been good friends.” 

“Bullshit. You wouldn't have even noticed me.”

“I would have noticed you.” You affirmed with such conviction he almost believed it.

Looking at you now he imagines that if you had met then his life would look very different. He wouldn't have been a couple hundred grand in the hole with a sandwich shop he only had because his brother killed himself. You would have been there for all of it.

Chicago, Paris, Copenhagen, New York. Every destination and every major moment.

You would have been together. 

If he really indulges himself, he thinks maybe even with a kid on the way. Of all the what-ifs that came to mind, there was only one thing he knew for sure.

You were the real deal.

He allows himself to stay in this bubble with you and before he can think about any consequences he responds. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You whispered. Nodding your head as you both start to lean closer.

Timedly you take your time to meet in the middle. Each gives the other an opportunity to back out, but neither of you takes it. Once your lips touched it felt like a shock to his system. You'd usually been so soft, almost cautious in your dealings with him. 

But this was not that.

You pressed yourself against him. Kissing him fiercely and with so much need he was worried that if he tried to open his eyes it would have all been a dream. Another cruel joke his mind had played on him only to wake up alone. Reminding him of all the things he never felt he could have.

Your hands card up into his hair, tugging at the stands. He lets out a deep groan as he switches positions to place you between himself and the counter.

He realizes now how much of a habit it is for you to look out for him. While everyone took the first chance they got to go home, you stayed behind to make sure he would get rest. Then, you took that extra time to try and figure out the clusterfuck of paperwork sitting on his desk.

You show no signs of discomfort as his hands begin to trail your body. Pushing you further against the counter to get as close to you as physically possible. He almost thought he could feel your heart pounding as your chest pressed against his, but knew it was more likely that it was his own. So caught up in you that every detail of this moment felt fuzzy and distorted.

So caught up he didn't realize you started grinding against each other.

One hand cupped around the back of your neck to keep you in place. The other moved down to your ass to aid your movement as you hooked a leg over his hip. His chest burned and heaved. Breath heavy from being cut off from oxygen for so long, but not wanting to break the moment. He wanted to give you something to remember. Not screaming during lunch rush or getting into a fistfight with a guy in a fuckin’ carrot costume.

Something good.

There weren't many times in his life he felt particularly lucky, but when he moved his head down to mouth at your neck. He'd never felt so lucky in his life.

Your head tipped back, letting out a chocked sigh. Followed by the ‘uh, uh, uh’ perfectly timed with the movement of your hips against his growing length. Gripping a hand on the back of his shirt to keep him in place. He imagines that this is the closest he will get to redemption, to happiness, after having spent years in the hellscape that was the New York kitchen. 

When he tried to lift you on the counter the large metal mixing bowl sitting to the side of you came crashing to the ground. The loud reverberation causes you to break away from each other. Effectively bursting the blissfully passionate bubble. 

Your hand moved to your neck where his mouth had been. Almost certain there would be marks left behind to remind you of this moment for days to come. As you both tried to regulate your breathing Carmy couldn't help staring. Opening his mouth like he had something he wanted to say, but couldn't quite articulate what that thing was. You slide off the counter and attempt to straighten your clothes while keeping your eyes on the floor. You always had a hard time meeting his gaze when he looked at you like that. Like if he looked hard enough he might find something that wasn't there before. 

“It's probably a good thing we got interrupted. Things were getting kinda heated.” You forced a chuckle. 

Shit.

This was it.

You're about to tell him this was all a mistake. A heat of the moment thing that you got caught up in and you now regret. As quickly as he had you, he was gonna lose you. Another goddamn shoe was gonna drop. “No, y-yeah. I don’ want you to think-”

Your gaze returned to him. “I think if we took this any further we'd be violating about a dozen health codes after you were just on your hands and knees scrubbing the floor.”  

“I could get on my hands and knees again.” He let out, slightly dazed. Running a hand through his hair in an attempt to ground himself. 

“Jesus- Carmy.” you laugh, not knowing how else to respond. Sliding your hands down your face as it heats up in a heavy blush. 

“I-I didn't mean it like that.” But now he’s definitely thinking it.

He also thinks, rather darkly, that he's never been happier not to have an HR department. 

Truthfully, he didn't know what he meant by the comment. He just knew he wanted you and you didn't seem opposed to the idea. You haven't run away yet and that alone is enough to quiet the spiral he normally defaults to in moments of uncertainty. He had doubted himself a lot in his life, but he was sure with the way you kissed him that you wanted him the way he wanted you. “We've had a long night. Walk ya’ home?” 

“Maybe you could come up? I know for a fact you haven't eaten. I may not be award-winning, but I'm sure I could manage something edible.” The smile on your face grows slightly at the prospect.

“Yeah, that's uh- that sounds good. Let's grab our stuff and we’ll head out.” Hand grazing your lower back as he moved to guide you to the lockers.

He wonders if, for the first time in a long time, his luck has turned around.

[doraambrose]

When it comes to the Victim Blaming Grief coping one of the big things that makes it an issue is that he actually did it to Jason's face (in Hush as it was retconned to be Jason he said that too).

And, when Jason comes back it stops being grief for the dead, it becomes grief for the wounded. And people victim blame people who were hurt too. This is how they cope, however this coping mechanism always hurts the victim and is a genuinely bad coping mechanism that shouldn't be used. It's harmful. It's harmful to the victim and it is harmful for the other people who might be grieving. It's probably one of the most selfish coping mechanisms.

I've experienced people using this method in real life and it's rough. And it's toxic. Saying you can't criticize the way someone grieves is flawed because you are rarely the only one grieving and I personally have been harmed during a period of shared grief. And I am sure other people have been too because grief brings out the bad in people but that doesn't mean all is forgiven.

Like, imagine if Jason was just comatose and all the victim blaming happened and then Jason just woke up and found out all Bruce had been saying about him? Would Jason's feelings be justified then?

Also, saying the deceased person doesn't matter when they die disregards a lot of religious and spiritual beliefs around honoring the dead.

I feel like Jason is as justified as any other person harmed when someone copes with toxic way in being upset. Jason's death is also a traumatic thing that happened to him. Centering Bruce's feelings while disregarding Jason's as unjustified doesn't feel fair. Especially considering the incident where Bruce took Jason to Ethiopia to try to trigger Jason's memories of what brought him back without his consent.

(Sorry if this was a bit much, I've experienced a decent amount of the bad sides of grief in my life and feel strongly about it)

Okay, so I feel like I need to re answer my previous post because I was struggling to find the right words and also at work, but I think I've figured it out.

One thing to keep in mind is when we talk about feelings, grief, and emotions, there's not a set right or wrong. I also mentioned that I don't like the word justified in this case because it sounds like right or wrong. I did use it at the end, but I'll get into that here. This is a very gray area subject matter and that makes it tricky and you're never gonna find an answer that everyone agrees with because it's not really as fact based as if I said "batman wears a cape sometimes" or "dick grayson is nightwing".

The first thing that comes to mind for me is what my therapist tells me when I feel guilt over feelings. She would tell me "anything you're feeling is valid, you're allowed to be upset, angry, sad, jealous, etc. It's how you act on those feelings.. something I can't remember atm lol". So when I say jason isn't justified, I'm saying that he's allowed to be upset and angry and his feelings are valid, it's not right to actively take it out on the family and hold it against them and be sort of malicious or harmful. And i know theyve done that plus some towards him, but its important to remember that you can only control your own actions and even if someone is being toxic and harmful, that doesnt mean you should too. I think I didn't explain that right and there was some miscommunication. I also wanted to explain why I felt that jason would be angry.

As for this comment, both of these asks were right. Grief can be harmful and toxic. And before I say what I'm going to say next, keep in mind that I'm discussing grief alone and not any of the stuff post utrh that Bruce has done to jason that's harmful and abusive. This toxic kind of grief doesn't make the person a bad person. They can't help it. It's your brain going crazy to try and cope with something traumatic. When my dog died, I wanted to sue my vet, even though they didn't really so anything wrong. It's easier to have someone in front of you to blame. I'm not saying it's right or okay, but it does happen and it can be harmful, but you're not a bad person for it. (In Bruce's case, he's a bad person for all the other shit he's pulled outside of this)

I think these two asks are like at the opposite ends of this topic and I think it's something that you can meet in the middle with. So basically

Yes, grief can be toxic and harmful, but it's also very much a subconscious phenomenon and it's extremely personal and different for everyone and alot of times, people are unaware of what they're doing.

Because of that, jason can be hurt by it, he can be angry,etc. His feelings are valid, But it's not fair to activey hold that over Bruce forever, which he doesn't, this seems more like a fanon thing btw. But it also doesn't hurt to apologize afterwards.

I think when you say that the idea of not critiquing the way someone grieves is flawed, it comes off as unempathetic. Because as someone who has had to grieve alot of the past few years, it's the worst feeling. And your brain is literally scrambling to cope with it so you don't actively lose your shit and sometimes it ends up with some unhealthy Coping mechanisms. And you're usually unaware of what you're doing. I feel like you're not thinking of how the other person is feeling or what they're going through. And fair is fair, they need to see what you're feeling too and actively try to remedy things at some point, there just needs to be more patience and empathy all around and trying to remember that this person is not always intentionally being malicious.

I'm a religious person. So I see where youre coming from, but nobody said the deceased doesn't matter. I think the point was more that you don't have to worry as much about how that person is feeling or thinking because they've moved on to a better place, you should focus on self care and doing what's best for your mental health.

I am also 100% not trying to center around Bruce's feelings and discredit jasons, in fact, the last post was 100% about jasons feelings.

In summary, there's not "justified" or "right" or "wrong". It's super complicated, varies from person to person, and is a tricky subject matter. Everyone's feelings are valid and there definitely needs to be more empathy and patience on all sides, but there are still actions that have been made on both sides that aren't the best and can be hurtful or toxic. I hope this all makes sense and I worded it right :)

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

i hate how shallow a lot of the fandom think’s debbie gallagher is. i hate it so much.

like, if there’s one thing that i always keep in mind while really consuming any media, it’s that you have to try to see character’s from different perspectives and understand their complexity. and debbie gallagher is so fucking complex, yet so simple.

every single problem she has in her teenage/adult life can be traced back to one thing: her parents.

this girl was written so beautifully and so tragically at the same time and some misogynistic assholes who don’t bother to read into anything decide to insult her writing, then other people who don’t give a shit agree, and suddenly she get’s a reputation for the stupidest shit.

it’s like- yeah, she did some dumb shit as a teenager. but y’know who else did? lip. and ian, and carl, and although we didn’t see it i can guarantee you fiona, too.

and i get it, kinda. i mean what she did with the whole atm cards thing in season 10 sucked. and i made a whole post about matty and julia, but out of EVERY SINGLE THING that EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER has done, you deem debbie’s actions the worst?? not frank’s, monica’s, terry’s, sammi’s, hell, even lip and fiona have done some fucked up shit that many people choose to ignore (i’ll get into that sometime).

and no, i can’t defend everything she’s done. but you know what else i can’t defend? LITERALLY ANY OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS IN THE SHOW’S ACTIONS. she isn’t the only one who’s done fucked up shit, yet she’s one of the only one’s who’s actually criticized, and most of the people who criticize her are, dare i say, cisgender men.

also, she’s not a shitty mom. i mean, by shameless standards at least. i’m tired of those gallavich stans saying that debbie would run off with heidi and leave franny in ian and mickey’s care because anyone who say’s that clearly never watched 11x08. there’s an entire scene that proves that debbie would NEVER DO THAT but y’all choose to ignore that because yet again, people ignore her entire plot. they only focus on fanon.

newsflash! debbie took care of franny mostly by herself (every bit of help she got was offered), and she stuck by her even when times were tough. she considered leaving franny ONCE but immediately regretted it. y’know why? because she was fucking 15. her brain wasn’t fully developed and she wasn’t capable of making completely logical decisions. she didn’t leave fiona to raise franny so stop fucking acting like she did because fiona and franny barely have any scenes together. and debbie didn’t want fiona near franny/fiona to ride in the ambulance which is like totally reasonable??? i mean, yeah, fiona was right, having a baby at 15 isn’t a great decision, but it’s debbie’s decision. fiona said she wouldn’t help her at all then proceeds to try to help like no wonder debbie doesn’t want fiona’s help, she’s fucking scared! she’s still a kid herself. i have such mixed feelings about debbie and fiona in season 6 but i think they’re both pretty valid in that season.

also, debbie’s whole thing is that she sticks by people. and yeah, she says some weird twisted things on impulse at times but she loves her family. that’s like- the whole point of debbie in season 11.

anyway that was my weird rant about debbie

[setaripendragon]

Trying to organize my ask notebook better since I've run out of space under general fandom asks and I would like to know what fandoms you are in so I can ask the correct people about the correct fandoms.

I think my main ones are Bagginshield/The Hobbit, Sherlock/Johnlock, Dragon Age Inquisition, {Pippin/Faramir Merry/Eowyn}/The Lord of the Rings and I dip my toes in a few that I currently can't remember but ones I don't engage in canon at all are Good Omens but only for Crowley/Azirapheal ship, Stranger Things but only for Steve/Eddie ship, The Witcher but only for Geralt/Jaskier things and Ladybug and Cat Noir but only for Adrinette .

Also do you like getting asks that are or include story ideas or snippets?

*Asks are sent for fun, no pressure to answer within a certain amount of time or at all.

Ooh, I am in so many fandoms XD It wouldn't actually be easier to list the ones I'm not in, but sometimes it feels that way.

Definitely there with you on The Hobbit and Bagginshield and Lord of the Rings and that whole 'verse, and I'm all in on the Good Omens and The Witcher (well, all in on most of the fandom, I've read some of one of the books, played some of one of the games, watched some of one of the shows... XD).

I also enjoy me some Sherlock, but my preferred flavour is Elementary, rather than BBC.

At the moment my main fandoms are One Piece (catching up with the anime atm, it's taking a while XD), Supernatural, and Star Wars (pretty much entirely second hand, except for the Kenobi show and recently being bullied into watching the Mandalorian with a friend =P).

Okay, I'm going to try and be concise now because otherwise we'll be here all day. Here are fandoms that I've written stuff for (published or not): A Song of Ice and Fire, Alice in Wonerland, Assassin's Creed, Avatar the Last Airbender, Black Butler, Bleach, James Bond, Charmed, Criminal Minds, Critical Role, Emperor's Edge, Fairy Tail, Firefly, Frozen, Fruits Basket, FullMetal Alchemist, Girl Genius, Rise of the Guardians, Harry Potter, Kingsman, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Merlin, Chronicles of Narnia, Naruto, Avatar (2009), Once Upon a Time, Peaky Blinders, Percy Jackson, Pride and Prejudice, The Sandman, Shadowhunters, Sinbad (Dreamworks), Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell, Teen Wolf, The Untamed, Torchwood, White Collar, X-Men.

I'm not, you know, deep in the fandom of more than usually three or four at a time, but my muse wanders like she's got itchy feet. And I'm probably at least passingly familiar with several other fandoms: I'm enjoying watching Dungeon Meshi at the moment but I haven't yet got the itch to play in that sandbox, I love reading Scum Villain's Self Saving System fanfic but I don't feel I know the characters well enough to write my own, I watched basically all of the Disney animated movies as a kid but I haven't yet had a solid enough idea to write, I have seen some of Stranger Things but I watched most of it while somewhat sleep deprived and that is not the best way to watch horror ^^" I've played FF7, I've read the Hunger Games, I've watched Yuri On Ice, etc, but I don't have a convenient list of those, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I won't make this any longer than it needs to be going into my ships unless you ask specifically, but let it be said that I'm a polyshipper in a big way (nothing gets my brain to go brrrrrrr like complicated relationship dynamics =3), and making it onto my NoTP list takes some seriously rancid vibes and/or overly pushy fans, and it's always safe to ask me about a ship =P

Story ideas are very welcome! The muse needs constant feeding =P I won't make any guarantees about them going anywhere, but I love seeing them all the same. Snippets... are probably the same? I don't know, I've never been sent one. I'm probably even less likely to do anything with them, just because of stupid brain quirks, but who knows?

[the-irrelevant-trumpeter]

OKAY PERCY JACKSON SERIES THOUGHTS REAL QUICK not in any particular order just what my brain is spewing

(spoilers obviously)

okay so like. it was so good. screaming crying throwing up like!!!!

walker leah and aryan are all excellent and i'm so excited to see them throughout the rest of the show

special shoutout to leah because in these first two eps she's had a lot less screentime than the other two and yet she has completely stolen the show for me

forgot that jason mantzoukas is in this and got jumpscared lmao

the car and then minotaur scenes would have been really good if i had been able to see them

i feel like i was expecting luke's scar to be bigger. this isn't a complaint or anything, just an observation.

"NO I AM SALLY JACKSON'S SON" slayed so hard like i screameddd

percy praying to his mum <3333 there's one thing percy jackson will do and that is think of his mum as a goddess

also HIM BURNING THE JELLYBEANS 😭😭😭

also also him telling his mum that he really feels like he's made friends when you know he's talking about luke is TRAGIC oh no the final episode is going to be sooo good and so heartbreaking. oof.

i really REALLY liked virginia kull as sally, but a lot of the dialogue in her scenes felt a bit clunky to me. idk i know they need exposition and all that, but some of it felt a bit weird. especially their conversation right before she was killed

okay i know a few people in the tag have already talked about this, but sally and gabe felt a little off to me. i know the posts i've seen have said that they downplayed how completely and utterly awful gabe is, and while i do think it was downplayed a little bit, he was still bad enough that i didn't feel like that was a major issue. the part that didn't feel quite right to me was the way sally argued back at him. i feel like what she says to him is kind of what the audience should WANT her to say (because gabe's a dick), but the point is that she doesn't say that, because sally jackson loves percy so damn much that she willingly endures that until she is able to get out of that situation. i swear i'm not going to be like "tHiS iSnT hOw iT iS iN tHe bOoK" much, because it's an adaptation and it's going to have to make some changes and that's fine! but in the book, percy states that he's "never heard her raise her voice or say an unkind word to anyone, not even me or gabe" and keeps on emphasising how she constantly withstands gabe and doesn't move against him because of her love for percy, and i just feel like that's an important aspect of her character. also i feel like sally arguing back at gabe is going to make her finally killing him less impactful. and i think it probably also plays a part in gabe's assholery being downplayed. because the argument they have there feels much more like "oh we're so dysfunctional ha ha" instead of "this is an abusive household". you know what i mean? idk i get that it was meant to be a #girlboss moment, and a part of me was like "YEAH GET HIS ASS", but i do feel like that moment didn't serve sally's character as well, changed the dynamic of sally and gabe's relationship, and negatively affected the impact the story will have when percy gives her the means to get rid of gabe and she takes it. this is a very long dot point i'm sorry.

mr d pretending to be percy's dad was SO FUNNY

clarisse is too pretty (/pos), like i was barely paying attention in her scenes because i was literally there like "women <3" thank you dior goodjohn

"you fell in love with god... like jesus?" is a top tier line

i'm so sorry but i'm a "tah-lia" pronunciation truther and it will remain this way in my head

the cut to percy flossing in the woods killed me. like straight up killed me dead.

BLACKJACK BEING THE FIRST MAGICAL THING PERCY SEES!!! THEY'RE GOING TO BE BESTIES!!!

these are all of the thoughts i have atm, and despite my more negative thoughts here, my feelings are almost completely positive (my excitement is less coherent than my criticisms, so i didn't write about them as much). i'm really excited to see the rest of the episodes!

[scalierpepper]

9 people you'd like to know better

Tagged by @lady-harrowhark <3

Three ships: Griddlehark is obviously my number 1 <3 <3 I will love them forever and think about them constantly. As far as other ships occupying my brain lately goes, alas I am not immune to the gay pirates so Ed Teach/Stede Bonnet (I still dunno if their ship name is Blackbonnet or Gentlebeard lol) and then also Fearne/Ashton from Critical Role!

First ever ship: 90% sure it was Percabeth

Last song: Horror Dream! by Stargurl

Last film: The 1977 Rankin/Bass animated Hobbit lmao. Started a LOTR watch party with some friends and we got sidetracked.

Currently watching: Nothing particular atm...I am in the midst of art finals so I don't have a lot of time to chill. But over thanksgiving I binged all of Scott Pilgrim Takes Off and Scavengers Reign! Scavengers Reign was phenomenal, I was so blown away by it. My dad recently watched the live action One Piece and keeps trying to get me to watch it so he can talk to me about it, so I'll probably watch that next, when finals are over.

Currently reading: Slowly working through the Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes. (Also per request of a family member haha, my sister has been really exctied about it. I think I'm just Token Nerd of the family so anytime they enjoy something they like to share it with me, which I am all for :)). I also just finished Dungeon Meshi volume 1.

Currently consuming: Dates and water (study snacks!)

Currently craving: French fries :3

I tag @theeonlyheartbreaker @mellifloraa @rain-unnie @sea-of-eden @hauntedmoors @nepenthean-sleep @alidesori @glowingoctopi and @tonkable-art but only if ya feel like it!

[lavenderpanic]

(Long rambly post so feel free to scroll) I wanna get some opinions on this so comment or reblog or whatever if you have any thoughts. Where do you draw the line between depicting things like abuse, EDs, drug use, etc. and romanticizing them? I write about a lot of pretty tough topics and I like to think that I do them justice and write them honestly and truthfully, including the bad parts that are often glossed over, but I do always worry that the wrong person will find my work and will start to idolize or romanticize what I've written.

I often think of movies like To The Bone or songs like Ultraviolence, which have been criticized for romanticizing EDs and abuse, respectively. And, as someone who consumes a lot of media related to those kinds of things and has also had the lived experience of actually living through them irl, I kind of agree, but I also kind of disagree. Like, when my ED was worse than it is now, I remember reading everything about anorexia I could get my hands on. I remember watching every movie and reading every blog and 90% of it wasn't "romanticized." Most of it was about your hair falling out and your skin going grey and not being able to shit, but I still idealized it. But now, in a better headspace, I can read/watch the same stuff and not see the beauty or allure of it.

Long winded way of saying that determining if something is romanticized is often dependent on the viewer/consumer. I honestly cannot think of a single way that EDs could be depicted that wouldn't have been romanticized by 2021 me. So do we never depict EDs in media? How do we toe that line?

But then on the other hand, there are certain things that I believe are rather blatant in their romanticization of things like drug use, abuse, etc. (Think Colleen Hoover and how she writes DV) and honestly have no redeeming educational merit, nor do they actually bring awareness to difficult issues. I think back to music I listened to that was like "oh I'm so thin and delicate I love starving lalala beauty is pain and suffering" like yeah duh that was bad for my brain, and it definitely fueled my ED.

Anyway. Been having lots of thoughts. This was worded poorly because I'm not feeling well atm but I'm curious where other people draw the line.

[the-gayest-show]

WOFTFI 2023 Review (+ Arc Thoughts Ish)

as a small intro, ive been getting into smg4. A guilty pleasure almost, but uhhh the smg4 merch looks banger af so uhhhh uhhh (also mr puzzles this was his fault too)

watching the puzzlevision arc is great and im doing it in the order prescribed by the smg4 wiki bc fans know best.

anyways im finished the movie and i want to review this thing because i have Thoughts (spoilers under the cut since idk if anyone in this fandom cares [i dont interact with it at all atm] but i do):

I LOVED IT HAHAHA!!!!

I dont really know much about SMG4’s other arcs and previous versions of this movie (i watched like maybe 3 r64 episodes before this, feel free to flame me for it) but this movie was damn good.

though i havent watched the livestream in which apparently all the decisions were made, i find it so interesting that the fans got to choose how the movie went! I love this idea of experimenting with audience feedback and it’s genuinely made for a fun movie!

Like the few smg4 movies, ive watched prior (western spaghetti and its gotta be perfect), the style of animation is good! Ive read thru yt comments that say this is a step up from what it used to be before and such and im inclined to believe it!

Meme stuff aside, THE RAP SONG WAS SUCH A CERTIFIED BANGER AND WE GOT MEGGY SINGING (Elsie Lovelock, great actor btw) JDKSJEKEN AND MARIO GOT A SINGING VOICE THIS SHIT WAS A GENUINE BANGERRRRR I LOVED ITTTT

The battles were fun and action packed and the whole “spy rizz” meter was a great aspect! If i were a fan back then and i voted, it wouldve been so fun to see whether i chose right or wrong! Great fun!

i like the relationship development of smg3 and 4. Genuinely i love their dynamic a lot and seeing the development even if its just screentime is like enrichment to me (i ship them too now. Getting gay married would solve their problems /silly /hj)

i like how in the end smg3 DOES care for smg4 and crew and moved in closer to them (one criticism: i may be stupid but it took me wayyyy longer than needed to realize smg3 wasnt actively living in the showgrounds before this ? He appeared so often its like he lived there but he lived in that weird ahh starbucks still? Crazy.)

the notebook had a doodle of smg4 and 3 sharing coffee 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

i also like the mr puzzles foreshadowing here (call it foreshadowing when his face gets revealed for real in this movie). Generally, what ive noticed is that every time mr puzzles related shit happens, its got that stupid music attached to it. A motif. (I cant get that shit out of my head) and how the puzzlevision logo appears too. In this movie it made a glitched appearance and the theme is once again burned into my brain.

Knowing exactly what mr puzzles sounds like, the voice distortion on his voice was cool as fuck. So was that wall break. Crazy shit.

Overall 10/10, will continue watching this arc and eventually ill go backwards in continuity and watch the other arcs (feel free to roast me for this decision but mr puzzles brainrot and i was unable to not think about the puzzle vision parts I DID watch.)

[acephysicskarkat]

Hello, saw some of your anti c//a that mention how you think c//a is a bad enemies-to-lovers ship while griddlehark is a good one, and may i ask how that is? Genuine question, because i don’t like c//a, and i’m neutral on griddlehark (mainly because I don’t know much atm), from what i’ve seen/heard, it seems like it’s a lot more toxic of a dynamic than c//a is initially/pre canon? Again not trying to bait, am gen curious /genuine

This is going to be kind of disjointed, and I apologise, but this is kind of a topic that defies a simple summary.

Bear in mind that ahead be big Locked Tomb spoilers and the SP0P spoilers that basically everyone already knows.

I would say that the two critical differences are 1) the handling of the toxicity within the narrative, and 2) the structure and arrangement of the toxicity.

You are absolutely correct that pre-canon Griddlehark's mutual hatred is a toxic dynamic. They initially detest each other with a passion; one of the main plot points driving the entire series is a young Harrow having Gideon's blood under her nails after a fight.

As Gideon and Harrowhark work together, however - and here is the point where 100% of bad enemies-to-lovers arcs crash and burn - the toxicity goes down. It never becomes totally healthy - indeed, post-GtN Harrow invents an entirely new way to have an unhealthy relationship, involving performing brain surgery on herself at 17 - but the majority of the narrative is spent showing them moving from "would piss on the other's grave given the chance" to a mutually tolerated working relationship, to a growing loyalty, to the pool scene where Harrow shows Gideon more honesty and trust than she's had from anyone in her life. A lot of what makes this work is pacing and structure; every new step works because it's building on the previous ones, none of them feeling jarringly fast or unmotivated.

More than that, a big help is that the toxicity feels intentional. The relationship being Kinda Fucked is a 100% intentional thing that I'm pretty sure I've seen Tamsyn Muir talking about in interviews. It's a narrative element that Muir is monitoring and adjusting with the care of a good zookeeper trying to keep the humidity in the reptile enclosure exactly right.

(I genuinely cannot praise the writing in these books enough.)

Turning to SP0P as a contrast, its relationship has a more understated toxicity, but a much more pervasive one. Young Adora and C*tra weren't clawing at each other's faces whenever left unsupervised, but young C*tra sure did claw at Adora's face for wanting to have more than one friend! It's not the PVP arena of Growing Up Griddlehark, but "you are my friend, therefore your needs are subordinate to mine" is still far from a healthy dynamic, and the narrative never addresses it.

The bigger problem, though, is that the toxicity doesn't so much "go down" as trace out a parabola. The entire first half of the narrative shows the toxicity going up sharply, to the point of C*tra being willing to die just to make Adora miserable, then it hovers there for another quarter, and then it returns to an earlier level of toxicity. S5 C*tra's treatment of Adora stays awful. She spends "Taking Control" throwing a tantrum over how the real problem is Adora and the others being mad at her; she portrays herself as the wounded party in her like four separate murder attempts on Adora in "An Ill Wind" to produce the worst line of the show; she continues throwing tantrums whenever she doesn't get what she wants and making everything about herself right up to the love confession, including that confession ("stay with me, the person who spent four seasons refusing to stay with you!"). It feels bizarre that Adora goes from "even if you're my best friend, I won't let you blame me for shit that isn't my fault" in S4 to doing nothing but looking sad when C*tra portrays her as being in the wrong for not just meekly standing by while C*tra burned down her home and murdered her friends.

And - and I'll acknowledge that a big part of this is probably executive fuckery, I just don't think that really matters - the pacing and structure absolutely are not helping. I could buy S5's sudden reversal if C*tra and Adora had had a fun, weightless enmity where there was an obvious respect between them. They don't. C*tra spends a truly distressing amount of time utterly consumed by the desire to cause Adora as much pain as possible, to the point of attempting a murder-suicide on the entire world. No point in S2-S4 shows a C*tra who Can't Bring Herself to Really Hurt Adora, regardless of the things the stans have convinced themselves they saw; she's so totally driven by spite that she tears her own life to shreds in the hope Adora will be caught up in the edges. The relationship has to do a sudden R*ylo swerve rather than building on what's gone before because "what's gone before" is like three plot points in the first season that have been narratively overwhelmed by C*tra's multiseason campaign of cruelty like a single pea being weighed against the USS Nimitz.

This is where intentionality comes into play. The toxicity in c/a is just there. For all the bullshit about C*tra's story being about what happens when you're the toxic friend, it doesn't feel like an intentional narrative element that is seriously being examined; it feels like a writing fuck-up where C*tra was supposed to feel like way less of a stalker asshole.

Anyway, I hope this has made some vague semblance of sense, but I've been at this for like an hour and I'm tired and I need to go check on a craft project.

[annanother-thing]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

@starquestingfordrarry ahhh thank you for tagging me, these are such good questions!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

41 +1 unrevealed +6 that ive hidden

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

238,631

3. What fandoms do you write for?

only harry potter atm but i have written other fandoms before and i am psyching myself up to write some pjo/hoo next year

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Best Kept - drarry, secret relationship, EWE, E, 7k

How Does Your Garden Grow - wolfstar, modern au, T, 1.6k (this was the first hp fic i ever wrote back in 2016!)

Sparks - drarry, soulmates au, secret relationship, E, 20k

White in the Darkness - wolfstar, established relationship, possessive!remus, E, 7k

Maybe Love Could Be A Verb - wolfstar, getting together, idiots to lovers, E, 16k (my first fic coming back to fandom last year!)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

not as much as i should... i hate replying to comments when my work is still anon and i swear this year all ive done is anon fests and then i forget to reply when reveals happen and then my inbox gets super full and i get overwhelmed...

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oooh probably Invisible, Inescapable - ghost!reg, house magic, 16k, M - or Non-Existent Hearts Still Bleed - mostly canon compliant Pansy character study, 8k, M

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uhhhh most of them? i dont tend to write sad things

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not so far!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes. all of it. mostly queer but i have done some m/f but mostly in triads and that one tomione dead dove. currently in the middle of kinktober so smut is on the brain

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

no theyve never been my vibe

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no thank god

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! well, someone asked, idk if they actually did it. it was my pansromione choir fic from pride fest

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

back in the day i co-wrote one with my then-best friend - i think it was the first fic i ever uploaded...

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

nope. impossible question. my ogs are wolfstar and drarry, but i also adore pansmione/pansromione, fleurinny, ginsy, jegulus, jegulily... so many ships so little time...

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i tried to do nano with original fiction several times and none of them really stuck, which im sad about because some of the ideas were banging - lesbian vampires through time, anyone?

16. What are your writing strengths?

ok this is the hardest question by far...

i think i am quite good at the introspection, and characters having to think through their situations, figure out how they actually feel. i blame all the therapy...

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

confidence and run on sentences. i was editing a fic yesterday and found a sentence that was nearly half a page...

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i dont mind it, but i think it has to fit the story. but one of my pet peeves is when people but dialogue in another language and then put the translation in the chapter notes - i have a goldfish brain and by the time i get to the end of the chapter i have forgotten what the dialogue was about

19. First fandom you wrote for?

kingsman back in like 2014/5

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

dont make me choose between my babies! maybe the one that i cant talk about yet (i feel its the most up to date representation of my writing at the moment), maybe my wolfstar witcher!au (longest uploaded fic, and i really struggled to finish it but im so proud of myself for getting there), maybe my soulmate fest one (i was so not happy with it but everyone seemed to like it and it reminds me that i am my own worst critic)

Tagging: @gloivy @uncannycerulean @silently--here @tracingpatternswrites <3

[bayalexison]

Tag Game- Current

Yo, so I got tagged by both @bunana-pancakes and @noodle-artist, thanks so much the both of you! Both of them have great artwork, do check those out!

Current time: 9:56pm Pacific Standard Time when I started this

Current activity: Watching a friend streaming the game Chameleon Twist 2

Currently thinking about: Oh gosh so many fandom events in the fall how I'll balance them all lol

Current favorite song: Bishop Briggs, Jekyll and Hyde.

Currently reading: Haven't been reading anything as of late, though the last thing I read were some fics from Dimileth Garden Gala and FE Engage Ship Exchange.

Currently Watching: Critical Role, which I'm a couple episodes behind and probably will switch to podcast version instead. I also recently finished watching Persona 5: The Animation.

Current Favorite Character:  Alfred from FE Engage, he's been taking my brain space atm lol. Having finished Persona 5 Royal and watching a friend streaming Strikers, Yusuke comes a close second lol.

Current work in progress: My Lord of the Rings AU for Dimileth Goggles. Also plan to get back to The Azure Queen now that it has been announced Dimileth Trick or  Treat is coming back. I have the draft of the rest of The Azure Queen finished, just need to make time for editing (got distracted with other fics and Persona 5 Royal lol).

Tagging: (no pressure!) @slam-dunkrai, @sweet-suzume, @write-the-stars, @silversdragonemporium, and anyone else that wants to do this!

[voidspacecowboy]

tag nine people you want to catch up with/get to know better

tagged by: @mikkorantanev :)

Last Song: Blame by The Maine (But if you'd asked me a week ago it would've been something by Magnolia Park, I went in DEEP on their discography after seeing them live)

Last Film: I haven't intentionally watched a film in A While so I think that might actually be Nimona?? I keep meaning to watch RWRB but my brain is soup rn

Currently Reading(or last read): It's All In How You Fall by Sarah Henning

(but also a truly obscene amount of Steddie fanfic rip)

Currently Watching: Critical Role (Mighty Nein campaign)

Current Obsession: honestly I don't think I have an obsession atm just a collection of lingering hyperfixations that I rotate through to avoid having to spend time with my own thoughts. You know how it goes~

no pressure tag spot: @youreonmyrunway, @dreamalottie @shinraalpha @leskenobian @blooky27 @sidcrosbybro @beesandstarsart (and anyone else who wants to)

[nohkalikai]

hi!!!!

ok first thing: i was mentally screaming SAME at everything in ur recent posts—need to overexplain!! feeling so uncertain about faith because of *gestures at evangelical fundamentalist world* yet so incapable of leaving it!!

and feeling so fED UP & WEIRD at being a national minority + (supposedly) part of a global cultural imperialist majority. it is FUCKED UP sir

also omg i did not know u were not out at church aaaa. all this time i thought u had found a cool affirming and reasonable church outside home and u were being cool there. somehow this helps with my near constant crises of identity + struggling with The Church. anyway ilu i hope better things for us

HELLO i hope you don't mind me posting this publicly.

but yes to everything. it's such a strange sort of cognitive dissonance at best and actively endangering at worst! to have to come to terms with white ppl not wanting you till you subscribe to the racist ways they do religion, hindus not wanting you either bcs you're better dead to them or completely secularized, and our own community at large, rife w islamophobia and all sorts of incredibly right wing beliefs.

i don't have a proper analysis to offer wrt how to make sense of minority in the sheets hegemony in the streets, i'm sure many people who have come before me have already done that LMAO.

i like (love) this personal essay by a friend of mine:

also yea lmao i stopped going to church. i was going mostly out of compulsion and to maintain a sense of familiarity in a completely new place. but something about going to centuries-old churches that claim to be inclusive and welcoming made me laugh. like, come ON. no matter how political the pastors are or how inclusive the community is, i can't shake away feelings of discomfort and anger. and i suppose that's been my brain's cue to remember all of paul's letters regarding the body being people instead of a building blah and blah. but i can't be fussed atm.

i guess that juggling all this cognitive dissonance is a lifetime thing, very much mediated by the outside world. i've long reconciled that my faith cannot be amorphous immaterial faith that i learnt of in bible studies; it HAS to be a material faith (thinking of Ambedkar and mass conversions).

and it's like yea, we grow up being critical of christianity in all its forms but it refuses to let u go. and that can be incredibly stifling sometimes or incredibly comforting.

[h0n3yk1tt3n]

7 8 10

Ahhh the joys of reblogging multiple ask games with numbered questions within a day and not being able to tell which one is the current subject <3 (this just means you're getting the answers to six questions instead of three! Plus I'm bored and I don't mind lol)

7. Share a line or paragraph that you don't think will ever actually be posted in anything! (Or, if you don't hoard cut sentences and paragraphs like I do, share anything you want that has yet to see the light of day!)

Prefacing this by saying I know that Jake is implicitly an only child in canon. Counter argument, shut up /j oldest child syndrome made worse by absent parents. My defense:

Alana kept her voice as level as she could, despite her frustration. "Can you be an adult for just a couple minutes, please?"

A fist hit the table. "I've had to be the adult since I was thirteen!"

Alana startled at the harsh constriction in Jake's voice, his once casual and flippant demeanor turning so fast that it just about gave her whiplash.

A mirthless laugh choked Jake as he threw a hand out. "Criminal parents fucking off to who knows where all the time meant that someone needed to grow up! Someone needed to be responsible and make sure that the kids were happy and safe! And sometimes-"

His voice wavered, breath shaking as he looked off at the wall instead of at Alana.

"Maybe sometimes I just wanna be a kid. Get excited about Kiddie Land. Go down a Giant Slide. Just," he gave a hopeless shrug, "pretend things aren't so fucked up, at least for a little while. Long enough to not... burn out on being the adult, right when I really need to be."

—Tales From the Lagniappe

This is really rough atm but hopefully it gets the point across dbdjebdh

8. Is there a story idea that you would love if it could appear fully realized but that you do not think you'll ever write yourself?

Halo au would be fun. I say, as if I have a real Story in mind for it besides a couple scenes and Vibes lmao. I have so many Concept stories that I just never actually touch in any meaningful way, hell it's a miracle if I ever doodle anything for them.

10. If you could banish a single trope to live at the bottom of the ocean, never to be seen by any human eyes (or at least your own), which trope would that be?

The simple fact that I don't know by virtue of not reading super often goes to show that I don't feel strong negative emotions about any particular trope (and that im not adventurous lmao /hj.) Anything can be executed beautifully or terribly.

I once criticized coffee shop and adjacent aus for being nothing burgers by (generally, i can think of at least one exception) ending after character A gives B their number, but like? I don't have enough vitriol to cast such aus into the ocean lol, they can stay

7. A fic of yours you think is underrated?

Besides my 4 year old coping-with-quarantine project that spiraled into almost 330k words of length and became So Personal, probably Joyride. I blame its lack of attention on the fact that I just shat out a one-sentence summary and assumed that would be enough for those that had already read Weakness lol (hi becca)

8. What's the best summary you've come up with?

The fact that the L2C summary was so long that it wouldn't fit into ao3's character limit (but that it wasn't long enough/was too summarizey to be its own chapter or part of the prologue) and had to be broken into the summary and beginning notes goes to show how much I cared about making it Perfect™️ lol

10. Do you read your own fics for fun?

Not super often but yeah! Usually as a post-upload riding the high ya know? Swallow Up Your Heart of Gold actually keeps popping into my brain and I gotta get a hit of that sweet sweet hurt/comfort <3

In fact I would often reread rps that a friend and I did so get that same hit

I'm lonely and touch starved I bet you couldn't tell