#but now i like them being ~complex~ more than that so i may edit it out. we'll see

[instantartific]

on that neon j 1010 family dynamic thing post tags- I THINK I WOULD GO CRAZY IF THEY WEREN'T ALSO SOLDIERS? I don't read a ton of fic but it's important to me that like. They're family in the way that being immediately willing to die for someone makes you family. 1010 are his """"sons"""" by technicality at best, because he LITERALLY made them to some degree- He has a ""father"" style role because if they need to be taught how to navigate the world in any kind of newfound awareness (if you do this) that's his job, or because he is directly responsible for their behavior by the public-

I dunno all of these things just live in my brain all the time rent free so like. The idea of boiling them down to any kind of nuclear or normal family doesn't even register- He calls them "Troops," and I can even see him in a more casual setting saying "Boys" (it is a boyband), but that dynamic of being soldiers in the same war (literal or metaphorical) and of being a team, or perhaps a powerful unit that functions at maximum capacity at all times because they need to HAVE that kind of potency in their dynamics to perform at 110%- that's so important to me

Listen to me I am going to grab and shake you around a bit (/positive) for a minute here hang on.

Bear with me as I dig up all the things I've said about this so far and this could be significantly more but I am dragging at least this up.

If they became sentient enough to question whether the things they sing about in their songs is something they've ever actually experienced, it makes sense that they'd look back at each other and question if what they have is that kind of "love." And of course, it isn't—they don't share the things they lie about in lyrics to make the fans swoon. And even if they tried, in application, it would feel... different from what they lie about even if the actions are the same. There's something missing in that that they aren't fully grasping and they assume it must be love. They don't love the Captain and they don't love each other because they don't want to seduce the Captain (it'd be violating so many things to even attempt that with someone that isn't their rank in the first place, if we bring the military aspect into this) and it feels... not the same to seduce each other. It doesn't work cleanly. They know there's something missing that they aren't grasping. Maybe they even look for this concept within each other and find there's something but it isn't quite that because all they know is pretend. ... If you asked them, they're certainly not siblings because they can't be, but they're also not lovers because they have something missing.

...

They're not siblings. But they have the concept of a brotherhood with each other and it's complicated but it's human. They became the people that they are now in relation to one another, in each other's gravity, they've been all intertwined since they began to conceive the concept of being unique.

The relationship they all have with their Captain is mutually straightforward—he commands, they obey, and he allows them room to relax and he actually tries to speak and bond with them—but with each other? Not so much.

So, sure. Let's call them... bandmates. Sailors. Soldiers. That's what their occupations are and their relationship to each other on paper, technically.

They may still have enough of the military aspect drilled into them that 'brothers in arms' feels comfortable despite the fact that they aren't at war anymore. They might shorten that to 'brothers,' in the sense they were if they were more of unit than a boyband.

At least that's a lot less difficult for them to say.

#sometimes i like it better if 1010 never call neon 'dad' because he's... he never can be their father. by definition. #he takes care of them but that's out of necessity. they work for him in a different way now but not much has changed. #they feel different for him now than they do the concept of just that man at war. #but even that is complicated.

#they can't call him j. #or neon. that's worse. #but captain is starting to feel too formal.

#where do you go from there?

#the relationship they all have with each other is so much more complicated than that. #they can't be siblings because they've never known what siblings are #and they can't be lovers because they've never known what love is outside of what they write for the fans and they don't do that.

#so. where do they go from here? #what else is there? #calling them family just feels like it isn't enough but I don't have a term for that and neither do they.

—

Continued under cut for space:

About the reason why they still call each other brothers, even if they don't remember anything of their former lives.

Because back then, even if it was programmed into them, they were brothers. They died for each other, they killed for each other, they lived for each other. They would spill blood for blood, trade life for life, if they could.

Now... they're. Different. They don't remember anything from back then, Neon made sure of that, but they still hold each other to that same regard, and it means something now that they're able to feel that bond they all have.

They're brothers now, not because they woke up together, but because they would still die for each other, still live for each other. They just don't cause harm, not anymore.

But they're able to say it to each other and mean it now.

#they arent /family/ they're BROTHERS.

#there's such a big difference in that and it drives me insane

#especially with the dynamics i write between each individual member with one another

#them actually having very close bonds with each other is so important okay

#dont let me get into zim and rin okay they are fucking tragic and i will not stop talking about it

—

Thinking about them naturally being able to form a different-but-similar bond with Neon, that he's their Captain but he also seems to fulfil other roles for them, too, so other titles also apply.

But them having complex relationships with one another is a concept that I love.

They're sailors. They protect each other. They kill for each other. They die for each other. They live for each other, even if they don't have to anymore and even if they're dispensable.

They have a hierarchy. They're all individuals outside of one another. They're all exactly the same. The only thing "unique" is a few colors and hairstyles, and that can change.

But they're also a... a boyband. Like, a BTS-esque boyband. A boyband that sings and dances and cannot stop talking about how sexy they and each other are, apparently.

—

Bonus funny thing that would also no longer be funny if you just assume they are only exactly like family and nothing else:

If they ever do QnA's, the number of questions they'd be asked that are outright laughable. Let alone some of the more questionable letters they might get. Imagine fandom antics but they can just send mail to the idols. Imagine if they're asked questions that make them have to troubleshoot through everything they are and are not allowed to say with each other and with Neon for good measure.

[twistedapple]

On cherry and musk

EDIT 28/10/2023: Part two of the Perfume Rant is bout, about Astarion this time! + added a correction regarding the sulfur part.

EDIT 3/11/2023: Part three of the Perfume Rant is up, this time I talk about my OC, Nuria.

EDIT 28/11/2023: I kept forgetting to make that edit but I added a comment regarding the cherry and how its sickly sweet tone is usually used in perfumes to express death.

Hello hello.

Because Raphael's perfume, according to Yurgir, is exactly the type of scent that makes me lose my mind while being quite uncommon for men perfumes IRL, I've decided to go on a bit of perfume rant because I really like perfume in general (which is funny considering my autistic ass easily goes in sensory overload, especially atm with my state of autistic burnout).

To introduce the topic, I'd like to present some generalities about perfumes, so you know what I mean once I start losing my mind about why Raphael's scent would drive me crazy IRL (someone at Larian knows their shit about perfumes).

Perfumes are, most commonly, made with an alcoholic base (the Middle East also has an oil base), because the ingredients used to create the scents are more soluble in alcohol than water. There are distinctions in the types of perfumes once can find, based on the concentration of scented molecules:

Perfumed mists: less than 3% of scented molecules, low duration over time;

Colognes: the weakest concentration in perfumes as we usually know and use them. It has a long history as well, and was first worn by men;

Eau de toilette (here, understand that it's a perfume associated with cleanliness): count between 5% and 15% of scented molecules;

Eau de parfum (lit. "perfume water"): count between 10% and 20% of scented molecules. These perfumes are more expensive because they're more concentrated, however nowadays they're still commonly found in stores;

Extrait de parfum (perfume extract - pure perfume): count between 15% and 40% of scented molecules, the high concentration means it has to be used with care.

Now, why do we wear perfume? Everything around us as a scent: the soap used to wash our clothes, the food we cook, the deodorant we use... Our own skin has a natural scent. Wearing perfume is a way to control our scent and define our olfactive identity as part of our self-expression and sense of fashion. With hormones at play, not every perfume works with anybody - for example, Hesperide-type perfumes don't suit me, but work wonderfully well on my mother -, so the way a perfume sits and ages on one's skin is just as important as one's personal preferences in term of scents. Interestingly, for some decades now the most common perfumes tend to have a "clean" scent, which matches with Western standards of cleanliness. However, the goal of perfumes being self-expression, they also tend to tell a story based on the way the notes develop and work together.

We have various categories for perfumes, which involve the styles based on the families of notes, the time of the day and the seasons.

The main families of perfume are Floral (self-explanatory), Chypre (woody scents), Oriental (spiced scents), Hesperide (citrus scents) and Aquatic (water-like scents). These families can be mixed in the scale of notes to obtain a more complex scent. For example, Floral scents tend to work well with Oriental and Hesperide tones, Hesperide tones work well with Aquatic ones, Oriental and Chypre scents can be associated to create heady perfumes...

The times of the day are either Daytime or Nighttime. Daytime perfumes tend to be lighter, while Nighttime perfumes, often worn during events or at clubs, will be stronger since they compete with other stronger scents.

Seasons also influence perfumes, some molecules won't last as well in Summer as they do in Winter for example. On the other hand, some molecules will have a harder time expressing themselves in the cold of Winter, so heavier scents may be needed.

A perfume is organised in three layers to unfold its story:

Top notes: the very first notes, which usually don't last much but open the impression of the perfume;

Heart notes: the core scents of the perfume, around which the story is built;

Base notes: the lasting notes of the perfume, which close the story.

There is also two ways a perfume works:

Sillage: the trail left by a perfume;

Projection: the perimeter in whih a perfume can be felt.

Feminine and Masculine perfumes tend to be quite different as well. Feminine perfumes tend to lean on floral and fruity scents, while masculine perfumes will be more in the Aquatic and Oriental family with leather and musk tones. This is where I start my rant on Raphael's likely amazing perfume.

Fruits are rarely used for masculine perfume, to the point I'd say it's a grossly ignored scent family for men. Some years ago, I crossed path with a man in the metro who had the most amazing perfume, with raspberry in distinctive top note, unfolding into a warm woody scent. This is what got me into perfumes, because I had to find out what perfume it was - the most likely candidate is One Million by Paco Rabane, but even then I am not sure. This is a very specific and striking scent, precisely because it's so uncommon for a man to wear. With that in mind, let's remember what Yurgir said Raphael's scent is: cherries, musk and sulfur. I suspect we can take these notes in the proper top-heart-base notes, because they'd make sense that way both in term of perfume composition and as a mean to tell Raphael's personal story.

Cherries make for a sweet, enticing top note, perfect to express Raphael's ability to charm his victims clients. Cherries' sweetness is also often associated with the sickly sweet smell of death, and is used for that purpose in perfumes following that theme. Considering what signing a devil's contract entails, it's quite fitting.

Musk is a common note both for masculine and feminine perfumes, but it tends to be used as a base note. This time, however, it'd make sense to have it in heart note for at least two fantastic reasons: to draw people further in with a warm and sensual note, and because the base note serves to close the story better than musk.

Sulfur as base note would be extremely smart. One might ask me "but Crow, doesn't sulfur smell like rotten egg?" And that would be a pertinent question. It wouldn't be the first time a strange ingredient is used to complete a perfume by providing unexpected results. Here, we're not just talking sulfur, we're talking brimstone. Mixed with the other notes, however, it creates a smoky scent that serves to hint at Raphael's nature as a devil (gotta smell like Avernus!), and also provides a strong support for the sensual musk by adding depth to it.

We also have Raphael's boudoir invitation described as having his perfume: palmarosa and pepper. These scents tend to be heart notes, to compose a refreshing spicy floral: palmarosa is a floral scent with a citrus tone, pepper is what it says on the tin and is considered an aphrodisiac scent. Fitting the boudoir invite, considering the presence of a certain incubus... This addition in the heart notes would counter-balance the musk nicely and contribute to a layer of complexity with a surprisingly feminine tone: floral oriental notes are rarely used in masculine perfumes. However, here I think it serves to express refinement through complexity - something people often associate with Raphael, who presents as a noble (and is, by the Nine Hells' standards, a noble in his quality as Mephistopheles' son), as well as frames himself as an agreeable host who can offer many pleasures to his guests and clients (as long as they have something to provide in exchange - cue the sulfur as base note to remind of Raphael's diabolical nature).

Yurgir describes Tav as bearing Raphael's scent. Raphael was near Tav, which makes me think his perfume has projection rather than sillage. It'd make sense for Raphael to have a perfume more oriented towards projection than sillage: he'd want to let people know he's here, and it's a subtle way to dominate the scene as well in a magnetic manner - and we know Raphael has an imperious tendency, even in his handwriting, so having it expressed in his perfume as well would make sense.

To conclude, Raphael has fantastic taste in perfume in my totally biased opinion (this sort of perfume is a shortcut to make me swoon IRL), and what has been confirmed as being his scent/perfume serves to subtly support his characterisation and tell a story both to us players and the people he deals with in the story.

[bunni-v1]

Congrats for 500 followers! If it’s alright, could I have A, G, J, K, P, and S from the sfw prompt list for Idia? Thanks!

🍓Thank you so much! I'm happy to have so many people who like me so much! This event is good practice for me too, and a breather from the intensity of the fic I'm writing right now. (I'm more excited to write for Idia than anything else, he's just so silly, you know?)

A - Affection: Idia is quite a nervous wreck when it comes to affection, that's for sure. Up until getting into a relationship, he thought the couples that were all mushy-gushy with each other were gag-worthy. However, now that he's in a relationship he's desperately craving that same kind of touch. He's like a feral cat, you've gotta coax him into it, and once he's into it he won't want to stop. Seriously, if you catch him at a good time he's so damn clingy. Lays on top of you, have you sit in his lap while he games, cuddles up to you during movie marathons, smothers you in kisses, all the nasty stuff. He'd rather die than be seen doing it in public though.

G - Gentle: Believe me or not, Idia is very gentle. Yeah, he's sarcastic and sharp with other people, but with you he's different. I mean, he's still... sarcastic and sharp, but it's playful and light. He's having fun and he's trying to make you smile, and that's his form of being gentle. If you were ever really hurt by something he said he might just have to end it all. Seriously, it would make him feel so bad, that he'd be groveling at your feet for weeks. Physically, however, I'd say he's gentle but really clumsy. He treats you like the most expensive piece of jewelry in the world, but he also has accidentally almost suffocated you under his weight at some point.

J - Jealousy: Idia is the most jealous man you've ever met. ("You know other men?") He's got an inferiority complex mixed with imposter syndrome and depression, leave him alone. He's not going to force you to stop hanging out with people by any means -- in fact, he's kinda jealous that you have so many friends in the first place. Still, he huffs and puffs and pouts about how much better they would be for you and how much happier you'd be with them. Again he won't act on anything unless he REALLY felt threatened. Like, if Vil ACTUALLY made a move on you? Game Over, Idia is running from his room to intervene.

K - Kisses: Just like everything else, Idia is an AKWARD kisser. It's not his fault he's so anxious, okay, he's doing his best. Idia's specialty, however, is lazy kisses. You know, the ones where you just lay next to each other early in the morning (in his case, late at night), and just kiss slow and easy, like there's nothing else more important. Those are his faves. Speaking of, he LOVES to kiss your cheeks -- you're just so cute when he catches you off guard. It's the same for him, your little surprise kisses on his cheeks may send him into a heart attack, but he does love them so much.

P - Patience (how easily angered are they?): He has a temper, that's for sure. While it's rarely ever directed at you, it can be kind of scary to see him rage. I mean, his hair literally turns orange and flames up -- and damn is it hot when he's angry. Still, his temper only really applies to things like games or tv shows, rarely would he ever have a reason to aim it at you, unless you destroyed his limited edition merch or something.

S - Security (how protective are they?): Idia is a VERY protective person. He's been through a lot, and he's lost a lot, now that he has you he won't be losing you. He texts you constantly throughout the day to see how you are feeling, and what you're up to. If you're stressed, you are always free to come to his dorm and raid his room for all the comfy blankets and yummy snacks you need. He also literally keeps an eye on you from the campus security feed -- if he sees someone bothering you, either he or Ortho will be there within seconds to ensure you're happy and safe. On the other hand, you standing up for him and making him feel like he's worthy of your love and all the good things he has is all he ever wants. It's all he needs.

[dduane]

I've been enjoying the recent Middle Kingdoms works, and was especially taken by the ritual hospitality in "The Landlady". It seemed reminiscent of traditional Irish phrases I've encountered translated into English. If there any influence? To what degree has Ireland leaked into your understanding of the Middle Kingdoms and their cultures?

Re: the Irish influence: there's occasionally some effect on casual idiomatic usages in characters' general conversation, yes. In fact, while doing some editing work on TOTF3: The Librarian just a day or three ago, I caught Freelorn's edgy friend-who-killed-him-that-one-time, Sem, using phrases that unquestionably were not just Irish-originated, but Ulster-originated. :) (And plainly this is @petermorwood's fault. But since the character seems comfortable with the usage, and from where I'm sitting it sounds right for him, I'm not going to mess with it.)

As regards Irish influence on the Kingdoms' formal hospitality-language and culture, though, I'm not seeing much evidence of that. Not that I haven't done a fair amount of reading about Brehon law and other adjacent matters over time as a matter of casual research. But none of that seems to be reflected in any of the notes I made on the Kingdoms' cultures while developing them.

The connection I am pretty sure of is to translations of stock epithets and phrases (and the presence of various general concepts and actions) associated with the practice of formal xenia in ancient Greece, particularly as described in the Odyssey.

In particular, the Kingdoms' worldview seems to share a core concept with the ancient Greek one as regards xenia. This is the idea that personified Deity is walking around in the world, making itself responsible for the protection of people who call on others' hospitality. Both cultures have the idea that people's behavior may be tested by the gods—or God(dess)—to see how well they're obeying the rules set out regarding the welcome properly due to strangers and those in need.*

In the Kingdoms, the concept has had what seemed to me like a more or less logical expansion into the relationship between the heads of organized Houses—what we could equate with local familial lordships, though the actuality in the Realms is a lot less patriarchially hierarchical and more complex—and the people who come to hold land of/from the Houses' heads.

So it made sense to me that there would be basic gestures and phrases that express agreement to various aspects of the contract between a House's head and their holders. Since both writing and literacy died off during that alternate Earth's domination by the Dark, and had to be revived and relearned after its destruction, this contract was for a long time always verbal. Over the centuries, ritualized concrete practices—the exchange of bread and water between Holders and head of House, for example—grew up alongside the spoken content to make it plain that everybody understood the nature and intention of the contract. These, too, I derived from material in the Odyssey and other works of that period: situations, for example, where simply eating something that someone else has given you is itself confirmation that the contract between host and guest is in place and working.

Anyway: thanks for the question. Hope this helps!

*But then readers of the MK books will of course recognize this as the kind of thing the Goddess already does in Her world—not being one of those lurking-and-skulking sorts of deity who leaves you wondering all your life about whether they're real or not. Her basic contract with Her creation already contains the concept that everybody gets to meet Her personally at least once; and—either in Her proper person, or in the form of other people—sometimes more than once. Because yeah, She's busy... but what's the point of being a deity if you don't have the time to sit down with your creation for drinks every now and then...?

[eliasdrid]

you keep putting these tokusatsu shows on my dash for months and I have less than zero context what they're about. what's the cliffnotes version to get me interested in whatever these odd looking robots or perhaps creatures are doing?

Alright I'll try my best but it might get long.

To me, the most appealing thing about them is that the suits are very much suits, they often try to use practical effects where they can and there's a lot of neat choreographed fights. There's also often sci-fi elements (which I'm a fan of). Each season of each show seems to be made with love and passion for the genre* too and I've read/seen a few interviews which support this. There's also some very talented actors and it's amazing to watch them play pretend the colorful plastic weapons are real and can hurt you (they really sell it to you if you can suspend your disbelief a little and have some fun).

*edited - I wrote labor of love but forgot it is a specific thing and might not apply very well here?

Anyway. I'll give you the basics. The three big tokusatsu shows you may often see around are: Kamen Rider and Super Sentai (both from Toei) and Ultraman (from Tsuburaya).

Screenshots from: Kamen Rider OOO (2010), Kikai Sentai Zenkaiger (2021) and Ultraman Blazar (2023)

There's others! like Dogengers (screenshot below) - but I'll try to focus on those three.

In general these shows are aimed at young audiences so you have to watch with that in mind. Also, like any superhero show, they will want to sell you merch (figures, toys, plushies, etc).

Another important thing to know is that the seasons of these shows are usually self contained, and each have their own theme, so you can pick any season that catches your eye to check out with no previous knowledge. There are crossovers events (movies and especials) and anniversary seasons which will explore and/or showcase previous content too! I personally really enjoyed Kikai Sentai Zenkaiger (2021) which is a 45th Anniversary Sentai season and I had watched only two other sentais before it.

Now, some differences! so you can tell the shows apart and also know what you will potentially have in store if you decide to watch any. I'll put a read more because this is getting long 👍

Kamen Rider and Super Sentai air all year long, for this reason, seasons usually have 45-50 episodes. All the Ultraman shows I've watched have 25 episodes per season. Meanwhile Dogengers has kept a 12 episodes per season formula so far. Spin offs, specials and reboots have no defined number of episodes (to my knowledge).

I feel like I should mention that (especially in the case of 45-50 episodes shows) the episodes might feel a bit off sometimes? Be aware there's often release schedules with toylines involved* From what I've noticed this usually happens past the mid-season point the closer you get to finale territory. My guess is that, generally at that point, the writing team (or writer) was trying to do things they forgot to properly set up before, tie loose ends and/or finish arcs quickly. *Sometimes other things affect production, like COVID or an actor suddenly not being able to continue with their role.

All shows value The Power Of Love and Friendship and usually feature a team of heroes (or allies) fighting against an enemy faction. There's also, almost always, some sort of transformation device involved and in all these shows the heroes must collect some season-themed item to get power ups. The key difference between each show will be how they decide to play with these things.

Super Sentai is what Power Rangers is based on. If that tells you nothing: there's a team of heroes ("rangers"), color coded suits that are generally not too complex in design and one giant mech vs. giant monster fight per episode (on average). I've not seen too much Sentai so that's all I got for you.

Kamen Rider gives its heroes more complex suit designs and (usually) multiple forms (ascending in strength/skill). Kamen Rider's signature elements are probably: the drivers (belts), the henshins (transformation scenes) and the fact that they often have motorbikes (they gotta ride something).

Ultraman has more of a shared universe between seasons situation going on than the previous two so there's recurring lore. I won't explain that lore to keep this as short as possible. Either there's a host-alien situation (to varying degrees) or the protagonist has the ability to transform. In this show there's always an almost guaranteed Titular Ultraman vs. giant monster fight per episode.

More visuals that might help you tell them apart:

Screenshots from Ohsama Sentai King Ohger (2023)

Screenshots from Kamen Rider Ryuki (2002), Kamen Rider Den-O (2007), Kamen Rider OOO (2010), Kamen Rider Build (2017)

Screenshots from Ultraman Orb (2016), Ultraman Geed (2017) and Ultraman Blazar (2023)

I hope this was helpful! sorry it got long!

[jbunnyxo]

𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐇 ✶ 𝐒. 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎

──── ࿐ ࿔*:･ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: Satoru Gojo x female reader

──── ࿐ ࿔*:･ 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 769

──── ࿐ ࿔*:･ 𝐁𝐋𝐔𝐑𝐁:

❝He was full of endless wonders and she wanted nothing more than to explore them. Now she knew what true love felt like and she wished that she didn't.❞

──── ࿐ ࿔*:･ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒:

soulmate AU, angst, mature themes, drug usage, etc.

──── ࿐ ࿔*:･ 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄:

I haven't published/written anything new in a long time, so please excuse any shit writing. I've had this piece stored in my Google docs since forever and decided to edit it as best I could before posting. Please be nice! If this does well, I may post part two. Dividers by @/firefly-graphics & @/saradika-graphics.

──── ࿐ ࿔*:･ 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @actuallysaiyan

𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝟎.𝟐

❝I want to leave on you evidence that I existed.❞ 

His presence resembled that of a force of nature and it demanded to be felt, like an uncontrollable blazing fire engulfing it's exhausted prey and surrounding it in its scorching clutches. You had been made to feel oblivious as to what you were truly falling into.

It felt like a horrid and dreadful nightmareーor perhaps it was just a mere distinct form of reality disguised as a magnificent dream, you thought, that only existed inside of your head. You couldn't exactly decipher which it was as you lost yourself in the illusions he had managed to summon to ruse you to eat out of the palm of his hand.

Whatever it was, it was inexplicably addicting and each hit left you aching for more. He had made your veins rush with an adrenaline that was far more superior than any high a mere drug could give you. Your blood coursed with the purest feeling of lust as he reeled you in with just the tips of his fingers; his sadistic grin and charming personality a mere illusion to distract you from who he truly was underneath.

He had disguised his vicious poison into a miraculous remedy; manipulating it into your bones and weakening you from the inside out. With just a mere drop, the impact brought you down to your breaking point like a ticking time bomb preparing to explode and obliterate everything in your wake.

Even so, you found yourself irrevocably marveling at his immense complexity and in the darkest corner of your mind, it felt as though all of the stars and planets alike had perfectly aligned for you both in this very moment in time. He had entranced you with his fabricated deceptions in the most elegant way possible; like a melody playing on and on inside of your head.

He had a death grip on the atoms and stardust that made up your entire being and you would be lying if you denied that every ounce of your heart was entirely and forever entangled with the strings that made up his own.

But your red strings were never meant to be woven into one by the fates. Nevertheless, you could have sworn to the heavens above that you felt your souls relentlessly intertwine for just a mere fraction of a moment and gravitating towards each other with an otherworldly magnetic force ever so powerful you couldn't help but become utterly compelled by its intensity.

Falling for this disguised tornado of a man was the last thing you anticipated, but falling from the good graces of the gods was ever so exquisitely destructive; the essence of chaotic fate. How could heaven save one of their own angels who had willingly fallen into the arms of the devil himself?

It had occured all within a blink of an eye; much too swiftly and unable to give you a chance to escape. Every cell and fiber of your mere being wailed in pure and utter affliction as your mind kept relentlessly gnawing at you, but you were far too defenceless to cease it. And then, all at once, everything came collapsing down in pieces before you.

The everlasting bond between your two souls had been severed in two. Your life revolved around him until it didn't and the world was swept right from under your feet, leaving nothing but smoke and mirrors in its wake.

The despair of losing him had pierced a hollow hole inside of your soul and made you wish for your own end. You had let the agonizing grief of losing him encase what was left of your heart like the absence of the sun. The pain you had been forced to endure pulsed with wrath and fury, but it was the only evidence that everything was real; he was real.

And if there were anything that was worse than the searing fires of hell, you were living it in this very moment; struggling for air as his magnificent form held you down. Not even the ancient Egyptian sands could turn back the hands of time as your heart froze underneath the bitter ice; its beats becoming as fragile as your shattered dreams.

He was full of endless wonders and you wanted nothing more than to explore them. Now you knew what true love felt like and you wished that you didn't because when you loved, you poured every ounce of your being that you had to offer.

You loved passionately and unconditionally and that, in itself, was your fatal and inferior flaw.

𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐑𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝 © 𝐣𝐛𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐲𝐱𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐋, 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓, 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄, 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐔𝐑𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐄, 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐒𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐄, 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌 𝐀𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐎𝐖𝐍, 𝐎𝐑 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐘 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Hey I dunno if you’ve gotten this before but. Do you have anything on autism and DID/OSDD? Specifically resources or accounts and such (since I’ve seen the positivity post)

I struggle with emotional dysregulation, big memory issues (huge chunks of childhood and adolescence missing, forgetting things constantly, dissociating emotions from memories, etc,) frequent daydreaming/spacing out/dissociation, that type of thing (and a bit more that’s a little too complicated to explain in an ask lol)

I’ve always kind of figured it was just part of me being autistic (I’m professionally diagnosed and definitely very autistic regardless lol), but I’ve recently gone down a bit of a rabbit hole relating to plurality and now I’m wondering if it could be a symptom of DID/OSDD instead/as well (I was originally looking at something else and stumbled into the tags somehow. The original thing that led me here was foxes. I think. And then I had a bit of a panic as I realized how some of the symptoms were VERY close to some of my experiences. Especially the memories.) but i also can’t tell if it’s just some sort of brain fog(???? Is that the correct term?) / alexithymia / Unknown Autism Trait 3 that nobody ever talks about and is difficult to find any sort of explanation or resources for. And my brain protested and had the equivalent of being on the verge of a sobbing meltdown or mental overload of some sort when I tried to think about stuff relevant to the topic so I don’t think it’s going to be of much help to me right now.

obviously not asking for diagnosis or to self diagnose at all (since. I understand you cant really do either of those /lh /nm) but I’m curious if any of you know of any resources relating to this specific type of stuff? I feel like I’d go insane trying to find any info on it. (And also I don’t think my brain would want to cooperate if I asked it to because it basically shuts down, gives me a headache, and turns to a pathetic wet sobbing cat whenever I try to think about the possibility so I doubt I’ll be identifying as anything anytime soon but. I want some stuff to think over at least.)

hey, we also are autistic and have dissociative identity disorder. unfortunately, there isn’t really too much research on the overlap between autism and complex dissociative disorder diagnoses at this time, that we know of, but we do think that autistic people may have a higher likelihood of dissociating and developing a cdd than neurotypical people.

we really love mike lloyd’s work at the ctad clinic, and he has an insightful video on the intersection of autism and dissociation here:

here is an open access paper by katherine e. reuben and ayden parish on dissociation as a symptom in autism - it’s an interesting read and wasn’t too difficult for us to parse:

also, here are a couple life experience pieces by folks with both did and autism:

our own autism has contributed to our trauma history in how we were treated, formed attachment, and understood the world as a child. for our own system, our autism and our did are inextricably linked. we are certain that many other autistic systems feel the same.

if exploring this possibility for yourself is causing you great distress, it may be for the best to put this off to the side for now until you have reached a point with more stability or a greater support system in your life. please don’t overwhelm or cause yourself harm by looking into this possibility on your own, if it is unhealthy for you.

if you are in therapy or have a mental health professional in your life who you trust, this would be an excellent thing to bring up to them. though hopefully these resources can help you get started learning about this topic if you have the spoons/ability to do so.

we are no medical expert or research professional, but we are happy to talk more about our personal experience of being both autistic and a did system if anyone would be interested. best of luck to you, anon, with figuring this out. we know how confusing and challenging it can be!

[stupidwarriorkitties]

Hasbeen Motel Rewrite ptII

overlords edition! includes a rewrite of the vees and a removal of. the gross one. anyways ramble below :3 (Includes the time periods they're based on!) also i have based this on kolkocat's video that i watched a while back

note: I COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING FOR CARMILLA FOR HER PRE-DEATH... SO IT'S 'UNKNOWN' FOR NOW. SORRY :( (i'd be happy to brainstorm with ya'll tho)

King Edward Zestial III (1300s) zestial was a paranoid king, in constant fear he would be stabbed in the back or poisoned or strangled in his sleep. this was shown through how he ruled his kingdom, if one was suspected of any sort of disliking against him they would be executed in the town square immediately. this continued for a long time, until he was finally overthrown and killed.

when zestial arrived in hell, it was far more different than it is now. demons like furies were more set on hurting the souls that arrived and extermination day wasn't even a thing.

zestial lived in hell for 700 years and it shows, he's the overlord equivalent of that one school teacher that's way too old yet refuses to retire. he's still paranoid though, velvette loves to mess with him whenever they cross paths.

Carmilla Carmine (????) not much is known about carmilla, she's kept her past life as a secret for a long time now. we may not know anytime soon.

anyways, carmilla is a well known weapon seller across hell. while most weapons are not so different from the ones in the mortal plane. carmilla has taken it upon herself to learn satanic magic from an older demon and to infuse it with the weaponery.

while being rather intimidating, carmilla is not as cold as she seems. she as a soft spot for her adopted daughters and her friends and will do anything to defend them.

Velvette (2010s) professional meanie head, in hell and in life. she was once a popular fashion & makeup content creator, although she couldn't handle critique of her work. she would talk behind people in private group chats, harass 'haters' and basically all the cyberbully examples in a anti-bullying psa.

velvette died in a car crash, not paying attention and doing makeup in the mirror. which is why she has permanent clown makeup (the design also has a double meaning with the clown emoji being used in arguments i think)

in hell she wasn't exactly strong, but after joining vox she became alot more powerful. vox wasn't very convincing during the overlord meetings, but velvette would usually manage to sway half the party over. so velvette did the talking while vox made the tech.

Vox (1980s) vox is a nepo-baby with with a wizard of oz complex, he came from not-so-humble beginnings. he had good friends and manage to climb the coporate ladder fairly quickly (probably because his dad used to be in the company and was a higher up but coughcough-)

it came to a tragic end during a workplace accident, some of the technology being worked weren't working well and vox died of eletric shock.

vox at first wasn't really doing good in hell, it's not exactly a friendly enviorment for beginners. luckily things changed after meeting a certain demon, things got a lot better.

vox began to work on himself and by that i mean heavily modify himself with satanic-magic infused technology to make himself stronger.

vox once again began to rise to the top and managed to get himself among the greats. the overlords, one issue was that they didn't respect him. but after meeting velvette, vox realised that maybe he doesn't have to do the talking at all. so vox stayed behind the scenes while velvette attended the meetings and kept an image for the public.

[etherealspacejelly]

dad am i a bad friend :[

two of my friends are dating since recently and i dont why but it pisses me off because theyre doing so much together and i feel left out and its not fair and i feel mean cause i made one of them think i hate him because i was ignoring him cause i was nad that hes having a sleepover with his boyfriend and all the others of us arent

i dont think you're a bad friend. i think you're a human being with wants and needs and complex feelings. it makes sense that you would feel left out if two of your friends started paying each other much more attention than you.

i think this could go one of two ways. either they're just in the honeymoon phase, and once they've settled into the relationship things will go back to normal (or close to normal), or this may become a permanent thing.

people tend to prioritise their relationships over their friendships, so they will most likely do things together that they do not do with you more frequently now. that doesnt necessarily mean that they dont like you or dont like spending time with you, it just means they enjoy each others company a lot!

if you do feel as though you are being deliberately excluded, it may be worth talking to them about how their behaviour is making you feel. otherwise, you will end up showing how you feel through your actions, and causing them to feel hurt.

healthy communication is a life skill, and definitely one that is worth practicing and developing now! perhaps you could write down everything that you would want to say to them, and then edit and reword it until it sounds right. then when you go to talk to them, you will have an idea of your key points

[closet-is-tired]

Mandatory chapter 150 post, but it felt wrong to do another silly edit like I did for the last two...

So here's my take on this spread!

After ultimately having achieved his big dream of living a normal life, Denji is now having to realize that it may have not been what he actually wanted. So far we've seen Denji's big dreams be twisted in a monkey's paw sorta way. Perhaps it may be because his dreams were too simple, and the hands of fate were telling him to dream bigger.

Because of the circumstances surrounding Denji's entire life till this point, he was never able to think about more complex topics. After all, he was just trying to survive. And now, after being trust into society head first, Denji's being confronted with problems more burdensome and complex than he ever has before.

Since being brought into civilization by Makima, Denji has had a strict set of rules and guidelines to follow. He was (most likely) taught that things are only black or white, right or wrong. He was taught the easiest and most uncomplicated structure of morality, and now he has to free himself from simple ideals he was taught in part 1.

Being Chainsaw Man provided Denji and escape from the moral confines of society. It was the one part in his life where he was truly free. But as much as Denji may enjoy being Chainsaw Man, it deprives him of his heart, his humanity.

But now, he no longer has Chainsaw Man to fall back onto.

For Denji to move on to bigger, better, and more selfish dreams, he has to learn that black and white cannot exist without the shades of grey in between.

He has to learn that he cannot only be Chainsaw Man, or only have a normal life. What Denji has to realize is that both sides of him can't exist without the other.

Denji has to learn to balance. Not only his normal life and being Chainsaw Man, but also his own self serving desires and those that can benefit nayuta. And ultimately, his own happiness and saving the world.

Balance is probably going to become a big theme in the upcoming arc(s). Not only for Denji but for Asa too. They'll have to learn how to work together, to balance each other out. But also on an individual level, they'll have to learn to balance. Both of their individual arcs, till this point, have been of self discovery and learning to be selfish. Now, they'll have to figure out how to balance all the new thoughts and feelings they have and channel them into defeating the death devil and stopping Nostradamus.

[momolady]

Commissions are now open to the public! Slots available for August, September, and October!

From now on all commission inquiries will be handled via email. That brand new email is momoladycomms@gmail.com. Below is a format I wish you to follow so that the commission you want is assured, and I will have all information needed in order to complete the job easily, smoothly, and stress free. If further discussions are needed, we can do so via discord.

My main goal with this is to make commissions easier for everyone! I want the process to be a joy and as less frustrating as possible. I want us to build something together so the best possible story is created.

(Please also be mindful that these commissions will start in August)

Basic commissions: 1.50 cent per word. (ex: $45 is 3k words)

The basic usual fair. A self insert reader or a simple ‘you’ reader. Describe the monster you want, basic plot outline, and simple wants for the story and outcome. Usually requires minimal research and prep on my end, and the story is probably mostly fluff, meet cute, etc. If free reign is given to me, your author, you will be guaranteed extra word count for my enjoyment.

Smut Commissions: 2 cent per word. (ex: $60 is 3k)

This includes more complex details and requests, these may be stories that feature original characters or that deal with a more involved storyline, plot, character work, and word count. This includes plots and characters that may require extra research on my end. This also takes into account that these complex stories may include word overflow (I know they do, I know how I work., as well time discussing and working out things may take.

Discounts are available on most of Patreon reward tiers. And people who have commissioned me more than five times will receive and friends and family discount as well.

I will also only accept payments made in USD. I feel that is fair, considering I have been lenient about this in the past. I have let friendship and my own kindness allow me to be taken advantage of, and I am tired of it. Payment, as always, is due in advance, and you can pay as soon as you like (5% discount if you pay right away). Payments will be made via p*yp*l and I will send an invoice when you are ready. If p*yp*l isn’t an option for you, we will discuss that in advance.

I do not mind you being as vague or as detailed as you want. I do suggest you get all your details out in one go, as we can discuss them quickly and easily. If things change, that is fine too, just make sure to tell me advanced enough it won’t hinder the production of your story. What I request is that you do not bombard me with requests, ask, and details over and over and over again. The more this happens the more I tend to get anxious and stressed about the story. Once details are agreed upon then they are considered final. Any changes made a week before will not be accepted. Also, stories that require a lot of detail and research will have a higher price point. I have bent over backwards and worked myself to the bone on stories like these, and I think it’s time I am paid for it. I also ask that anything you want for the story does not alter or bend the rules of the universes you want them set in, such as Hearthway Hollow, Ruby Empire, and Miror. These are my worlds and I have specific things in place for them, if you feel the need to play God, please discuss it with me beforehand and we can see if we can reach something amicably.

Be prepared to hear ‘no’ from me. In the past I have not put my foot down and I have ended up uncomfortable or unsure about things. There are certain topics, kinks, and creatures I will not write, but I am very happy to work with you to come to something that will satisfy your needs.

I will start asking for extra pay if extensive edits are needed. If there are whole chunks that need rewritten or paragraphs you wanted added, I am going to have to charge for them, although it will be cheaper than the regular cost per word. If it’s something that is truly my mistake (like if I wrote the wrong monster or something), it will be discussed.

I ask that you trust me as a writer to do what is best. If I twist something or request something goes another way, it is me wanting to give you the best experience for your story and not disregarding your wants for the story at all. Usually when this happens I will discuss it with you and double check to make sure it is ok.

Commission Inquiry Form:

Make sure to include as much as possible! If your desired story needs a lot of details, give as much as needed. If you want to leave something more simple and trust me with the details, make sure to say that too. This will also decide which commission price comes into play. When you send the email please make the topic Commission Inquiry.

What is your budget? (either list a price or the word count you want)

Reader Character Gender:

Reader Character Description:

Monster Character:

Monster Character Description:

Is this NSFW or SFW?

Any kinks, tropes, or specifics?

Story Outline:

Other thoughts or comments:

Commission Prices:

Now here comes the FAQ:

Do you have a word limit?

Considering how many commissions I get, I will not be accepting commissions under 3000 words. It hasn’t come up, but I just wanted it to be known. Smaller commissions are extremely hard for me to do. The bigger the commission the better for me, it’s a lot easier.

Why do you have a preferred word count?

3000 words is my favorite fic to do. It has enough to build characters and relationships as well as have enough room for smut or anything extra you request.

My story’s at 3502 words! Do I have to pay the extra pricing per word?

If a story goes over 500 words I’ll discuss with you what you’d like to do. But usually, extra word count is my bad, I get excited sometimes and have fun, and I don’t mind eating it.

I have this great idea for a novel…

I’m glad you have an idea, but no. I cannot write your novel for you. It isn’t fair to me, and it will probably cost you more than you are willing to pay. I have my own projects and novels to write. I can’t baby your dream as well as my own.

Will you write fanfiction on commission?

For the time being, no. But! If you’d be willing to work with me and create a ‘legally distinct’ original to compensate then lets talk!

I have a completely original character and would like you to write with them. Is this okay?

YES. But, Be prepared to give me a decent bio as well as their physical description and all the basic information I will need to bring your baby to life.

Can I have you write another chapter to one of your existing stories?

Yes! If the story was a commission though we will have to ask the original commissioner. If they approve then I will do it for you.

I want to give you free reign over the story. Is that ok?

Always! I love getting creative and going off in my own little world.

What kind of stories do you write?

I enjoy writing almost anything. I’m good at comedy and romance, but horror and psychological stories have become my guilty pleasure to write.I’m good with most anything, but there will be topics I will be unwilling to write. But this will all be discussed and approved when you contact me.

What won’t you write?

This is a better question to ask. I absolutely will not write anything involving scat, vore, children in sexual situations, or nonconsensual sexual acts. These are just major examples of things I am uncomfortable with. Also, I am NOT open to role plays, so don’t ask for those.

So how does this work?

Send me an email to momoladycomms@gmail.com with your intent and a brief idea of what you want. Once I approve it we can discuss what length of story you want, what genre, what characters, and a loose outline. Payment will be given upfront. Until I receive payment I will not begin working on your commission.

Will you be showing my story off to everyone else?

Commissions will be yours and yours alone for up to a month. After that it will be posted to Patreon and a month after that it will go live on Tumblr. But having your commission and the feedback will help me build my portfolio for the future.

Food for Thought

Remember when that you are commissioning anyone, writer, artist, voice actor, musician, anyone, that you are not just paying for the product. You are also paying them for their time talking to you about what you want, you're paying for their research and study on whatever it is you want, you're paying them for double checking and making sure everything is ok with the product. More goes into the commissions you ask for than you think, so please be kind and considerate with commissioning anyone. Art takes time, patience, and a lot of love, and we want to give you the best bang for your dollar.

[ganymedesclock]

deeply intrigued by the prospect of what your modded skyrim is like so, what's a few of your favorite mods? (One of my personal favorites, though its been a bit potentially tricky in the past, is Tainted Blood of the Dragonborn to let you be a werewolf and vampire at the same time, along with mods that enhance the experience of either, its just so much fun)

So this may sound cheap but the core of my mods right now is not available to the public- I'm playtesting the beta of an overhaul by the supremely talented and exceedingly cool @lightwolf that's sort of a spiritual succession of their old Aetherial Traveler overhaul. This is all on Anniversary Edition, so I've also got creation club stuff in there such as Fishing, Survival, and Camping.

As far as mods anybody can actually use, some big ones I have currently are:

Skyrim Unbound (alternative start mod with lots of options, is how I'm playing a werewolf without doing the Companions questline)

Hunterborn (mod about immersively skinning/harvesting/butchering animals and monsters you hunt, also adds foraging functionality and more than a few unmarked secrets for you to stumble across on a playthrough. I'm very fond of this one)

Wounds (mod that adds immersive injuries, so that aside from taking HP damage from injuries you have a chance to bruise, take lacerations, or even break bones, which take a realistic in-game amount of time to heal. This one is well-balanced to add a little extra risk to fighting and a little extra need to take care of your character without being excessively punishing)

Seasons of Skyrim (causes the seasons to shift; by default, over a fairly long period of in-game time)

A Dog's Life (dog companions level with you, have complex commands, and there are also stray dogs to win the trust of over time)

A Cat's Life (same author as ADL, adds cat companions, the process of bonding with the strays is more involved and some of them will hiss and attack you if approached carelessly)

Convenient Horses (mod that lets you train your horses, increase their attributes, change their saddles, summon them to you, and other fun stuff. you... may be noticing a pattern re: "all my followers are animals")

the Vanilla Matches clothing mods (causes clothes to always appear exactly as their model is- thus, every outfit now has a male and female version that can be equipped by anyone regardless of their body. by default this also disseminates to NPCs so you'll see men wearing dresses and women wearing pants a reasonable amount of the time. Small change but a very good one)

Northborn Scars (I frankly found the scar options in the base game a bit meh- it's hard to roleplay a character who got traumatically mauled by a bear, for example, when all the scar options are so limited)

Go To Bed and Use Those Blankets (two different mods that just add some animations and effects that show your character actually going to bed tucked in under blankets when they sleep)

Security Overhaul SKSE series (ok these are all-but trivial but they are extremely cool- it basically makes the lockpicking interface situationally sensitive so you'll actually see a cage padlock if you're picking one, or a trap trigger, or a cool dwemer locking mechanism.)

I could go on and on (I have a lot of mods) but these are a few I'd recommend. I get all my mods from Nexusmods with little exception so if I haven't listed anything you think is excessively cool but not on there I probably haven't seen it.

[jeannereames]

where would i be able to read your monograph? especially about the ‘you are nothing without me’ incident

The Protracted Reality of Writing Academic Shit 😂

First, and assuming the asker means my Hephaistion-Krateros book, the quick answer is: It’s still in process, not even close to being in print. In the meantime, a number of my articles are available on academia-edu.

Now, to explain why the book is “still in process,” let me explain the monograph writing progression. IME, the average person uninvolved in academia is often surprised by the sheer complexity and time involved. (After all, why would you know if you don't need to?)

Below, I talk only about academic monographs, although I’ve also edited academic collections, and of course, have published a number of articles. I started to tackle fiction publishing too, but that quickly devolved into a long-ass post (even for me), so I’m sticking only to the topic the asker requested. It's long enough! Maybe I’ll do fiction later, assuming anybody wants to read that. (If so, put it in an ask.)

To write an academic book in the humanities typically takes years. There are several stages just to produce the initial manuscript, never mind getting it into print. I’ll outline the general process below, using my current project to illustrate the steps. One thing I’ve found consistently among both students and non-academics is utter surprise at just how extensive research/writing is. New grad students often think writing a thesis/dissertation is akin to writing a really long term paper. Oh, no. You will write it, submit it, get critique and feedback, go research some more and revise it, get critique and feedback, go and research yet more and revise it again … rinse and repeat. How long? Until it’s cooked. There’s not a set timeframe. It will always take longer than you expect. Always. I’ve been teaching grad students almost 25 years. I have yet to have any require less time than they first assumed.

Writing a monograph (including the thesis/dissertation, which is a type of monograph) is one of the toughest forms of academic writing. Papers/articles are much easier, and not just because they’re shorter, although that’s some of it. They also generally have a simpler point. They’re proving ONE thing, like a string.

A monograph presents a coherent, complex argument like a rope woven from several strings (the chapters). It’s not an edited collection by multiple authors in a single volume (or two), or even a collection of various essays by a single author. Collections may have a general topic, like, say, Macedonian Legacies (the collection we did for Gene Borza), or the one I’m editing now, Macedon and It’s Influences. Just trying to figure out a decent order for the varied papers can prove a challenge in these. If some of the papers actually do bear on each other … bonus! But the papers aren’t necessarily expected to come together at the end in any cogent way. A monograph’s concluding chapter should, however, bring together the chapters into a solid conclusion, like the arch’s capstone, holding it all together.

Yet the researcher may not know the answer to that until done with much of the research. After reading everything, and considering it, she may wind up in a different place from where she started. Like any good, responsible research, the researcher must be prepared to follow the data and facts, not cram them into a preconceived notion. I’ve changed some of my ideas and goals for my current monograph, as I no longer think I can do the project I originally intended because the nature of the sources get in the way too much. But I have a more interesting project as a result.

The first phase is research: pretty much for any academic field, period. How this progresses, and how quickly, varies with the individual, field, and topic. Furthermore, some of us are planners (that’s me), others are pantsers (e.g., they dive in and figure it out as they go: by the seat of the pants). But we all start with a question or observation, then go out to track down information about it. In history, sometimes we just read the primary sources/archival material and see what we find. Something strikes us, so we go on to read more, which produces either refined questions or entirely new ones.

Right now, I’m finishing up the initial stages of the research. Then I’ll start work on the chapters, which, yes, I’ve outlined as a result of my initial research. But those chapters may (and probably will) morph as I write them. It’s during the writing phase that the other, “attendant” research comes into play: chasing down all the references in other secondary sources for smaller points. Rabbit-hole time.

My initial research tends to be more measured. I read a while, stop to think—sometimes do stuff like write replies to asks on Tumblr while my brain churns. 😉 Then I go back and read some more. But the writing phase is where I can lose all track of time while running down just-one-more-citation-then-I’ll-stop. The last time I looked at a clock it was 3pm and now it’s 9pm, I’m weak with hunger, I really have to pee because I’m drinking too much tea, and the cats are mad because I’ve not fed them in hours. 😆 It’s two really different types of research for me.

Anyway, for the initial (pre-writing) stage, there are really two substages. The first is what I think of as archival work: e.g., getting down and dirty with the original (primary) sources, including digging into the Greek and Latin to see what it actually says, and if there’s something noteworthy in the phrasing. At this point, I may not really know what I’m looking for, except in the broadest sense. For my current project, I collected every single mention of Hephaistion and Krateros in the original sources. For all five ATG bios, I read them front to back, tagging all sorts of things, plus large chunks of important other books (e.g., the first part of book 18 of Diodoros, the extant fragments of Arrian’s After Alexander, plus a couple bios, esp. Plutarch’s Eumenes, etc.) in order to get a FLOW, not just collect things piecemeal. There are some passages that may not name Hephaistion or Krateros specifically, but they would include them. Piecemeal will always be incomplete, like trying to see a clear image in a broken mirror (a mistake I made with my dissertation, in fact, but I was young).

Then I assembled all that collected data on huge sheets, arranged by author for each man, so I can cross-reference and compare. I also did a deep-dive across 4 days, grabbing everything in Brill’s New Jacoby (BNJ), so I can also tag the original (lost) author cited in our surviving sources, where we know who it is. Not actually that many, but it’s useful and can prove significant. I want to see where the same information, or anecdote, crosses sources, and how it changes.

All of that (except adding the BNJ entry #s to my big sheets) is now done. The next step is figuring out what it all means. For that—and where I am right now—involves historiographic reading/rereading of secondary sources on the ancient authors. What is Curtius’s methodology? Arrian’s? Plutarch’s? What are the themes of each? What is the story they’re telling? They’re not just cut-and-pasters from the original (now lost) histories; they have agendas. What are they? How do Hephaistion and Krateros fit into those agendas? How do the sources use them? This is, to me, the really interesting piece.

It's also why this book will not be just a cleaned-up version of my dissertation, but a completely new look at Hephaistion, and now Krateros too. I haven’t even consulted my old dissertation chapters. I started over from scratch. Sure, I remember my main conclusions, and as I write, I’m sure I’ll go back to check things, but the same as I’d check anybody else’s.

I’d hoped to start writing by May, but I’m not quite there yet, in part because, between the Netflix series plus helping to write/edit a grant that I didn’t expect to have to do, I lost virtually all of February. Now, about half of April has been eaten by home repair/yard stuff plus small family crises. That’s just the nature of a sabbatical, especially if you don’t have a spousal unit or SO to take care of everything for you while you just write. 😒

Now I hope to start writing by mid/late May. But as this 9th International ATG Symposium is looming in early September, plus I go back to teaching in the fall, I’ll have to knock off by the end of July, if not sooner. Ergo, not a long writing time. I can do some more during winter break, but I probably won’t have a draft done until next summer. If I’m lucky. It is just not possible, at least for me, to write while teaching! As I do plan to present at least one (startling!) piece of my research as the ATG conference, I have a concrete deadline for a subchapter bit. Ha.

So, what happens after a draft is done? Well, if one is smart, one finds a reader or three. One just to read it for sense, but (if possible) another specialist to start poking holes in the arguments, noting secondary sources one forgot, and to offer general pushback in order to refine it all. This assumes your friends/colleagues actually have time to look at it, as they, also, are teaching and writing their own stuff. (I’ll go after my retired colleagues.) At the same time, one may also begin seeking an academic publisher.

It’s important to match the project to what the publisher is already publishing. It can also help, but isn’t necessary, to have an in: somebody known to/trusted by the editor of one’s broad field (ancient history, in my case) who can vouch for the scholarship. Submitting means writing up a summary of the work, perhaps including letters from colleagues/readers, etc., etc. I’m not even close to this stage yet, so I’m primarily going by the experiences of friends. At this point, it starts to dovetail a bit with fiction publishing. You’re on the hunt and do some of the same homework.

Once a publishing house requests the manuscript, they’ll farm it out to 2-3 readers to evaluate. This is the “refereed” part, as the readers will be specialists in the field. The publisher, who can’t be a specialist in everything, may ask for a list of names for these potential readers.

As with academic papers/book chapters, the book will come back from these readers with a vote on publishability, plus suggestions for improvement. The basic choices range from, “Go back to the drawing board; this has major issues and here they are” (e.g., not ready yet for publication). To, “It’s got good bones but here are improvements on chpts X and X, oh, and go read ___ works you forgot,” (e.g., revise and resubmit). To, “this is pretty solid as-is but could use a few more things” (e.g., revise but ready for a contract). You will NEVER get a “Publish it right now.” 🤣 It’s hard to say how much time this revising phase will take, as it depends entirely on the level of revisions requested. This is why it’s often wise to find a reader or three in advance, to make this phase less lengthy. Yes, books do sometimes get turned down entirely, with no “revise-and-resubmit,” but more often it’s one of the three above. And yes, sometimes an author may be unwilling to make the requested changes, so finds a different publisher, with different readers, hoping for a more positive outcome. Sometimes, with the revising stage, there’s a non-binding contract involved, but this seems to be usefully mostly for younger scholars who need some sort of proof for their RPT (Reappointment, Promotion and Tenure) committees.

Once a publisher gets a manuscript they believe is worthy, the author receives a (real) contract and is provided with in-house editors to fix grammar, sense, etc.: copy- and line-editing. What would (in fiction) be called “developmental editing” is what the refereed part entailed. This is the simple part. Getting TO the contract stage is the tough part.

The publishing house will then schedule the book with a publication date and discuss things like page-proofs, cover art, permissions, formatting, etc., including indexing, which most publishers either don’t do, or charge a high fee for. It’s almost always cheaper to hire an indexer separately. I’ve already got mine lined up for the Hephaistion-Krateros book. But that can’t be done until it’s typeset and through page-proofs as one needs, yeah, the page numbers. Ha. From contract to the book hitting shelves can take a full year, or more.

So, with the exception of those folks who are just writing machines, the average monograph is c. 5+ years, at least in the humanities. This assumes the luck to get a sabbatical, not trying to do it all crammed into summers or breaks.

So yes, I’m still a couple years from this book seeing print. And that assumes there’s not a lengthy revise-and-resubmit process because my readers don’t like my conclusions.

[whyisstarkidfollowingmeshoo]

A post for all new and longtime Jeff Blim livestream viewers and chatters. Welcome! (updated on March 8 2024)

*check https://starkid.fandom.com/wiki/Jeff_Blim to compare facts here. For now, the wikia is more updated than this since everyone knows where it is. But this post has further information than the one in wikia.

Update (May 15, 2024) Thank you so much for following me. I apologize for not following back but I may find your posts (and like or repost them) when they have a Jeff Blim tag and other tags in my list. Update: May 27 2024. Watch Jeff's last stream where he checked his wiki. He said he will do some or a few edits and he made some corrections. I don't know when I'll check it myself. Any edits from other fans are highly encouraged. For me, there is no longer to add info here and on the wiki at least about his history. His wiki is already too long enough lol. Update: June 7 2024 Started slowly updating his wiki again and maybe make it even funnier or sarcastic lol maybe because of the way he reacted while reading it

Sometimes we read the same questions over and over on his stream and he has answered all of them in the past. Or accidentally ignores/did not read the old, repeated question, so he can't answer because he's busy doing stuff on the stream. And sometimes, instead of giving the answer to our fellow fans, we just give joke answers instead because we are that silly. I'm trying hard to remember fun facts/stuff he shared on his livestreams and will update if I can. Please help with mistakes on recollection to avoid fake facts. Thank you...

I. The Content in his livestreaming. Well, most days we listen to demos, Jeff live composing his music/songs and some of them are spoiler-less clues to up-and-coming StarKid shows, showcase his difficult and complex relationship with Logic and Stream labs (gee, that sounds familiar. There is screaming/shouting and desk hitting, followed by amazing wit to calm his nerves) listen to him improv and say funny things sometimes based on what Chat is typing about. And have that clout chaser and clout black hole named Jon Matteson as his guest in his streams, most of the time via phone call. If Jon ever gets on his stream, good luck trying to get attention from Jeff on the chat lol. The bromance is strong in this one (although I have gotten Jeff's attention once while Jon was on stream but it was about Jon haha).

Sometimes Jeff just wants to hang out and talk anything, jam with his piano, answer personality quizzes that we give him, give out audition advices (Uncle Jeff's audition hotline. make sure to identify when he's being sincere and when's he's joking/being sarcastic), talk about his hobbies, do spreadsheet baseball... On his hot takes, they are plainly hot takes and you don't have to agree with whatever he says. His hot takes are, half of the time, for entertainment purposes only. Send acting audition help inquiries to Blimswork@gmail.com to make your dream work. More cheaper charges than the one in Broadway Plus. You can also DM Uncle Jeff on his active social media accounts (Twitch, IG) No silly messages pls. Just acting audition help business ONLY. His rates are 75 dollars per hour, 50 for half. To those who can afford, he has a patreon page if you want downloadable copies to the songs he composes on his streams. The link is in his Twitch and YT pages.

II. Music 1. He started learning the piano as a young boy. His teacher was a Russian woman (I can't remember her name). Then he switched to the trumpet and told his father he didn't want to play the piano anymore. 2. He was never a member of a drum corps but went to a camp for it by the The Cavaliers. 3. He only joined Amazin Blue, an a cappella group in UMich, because he wanted to be in a band. He ended up becoming their music director because he wanted every member to have a song where they provided the main vocals, which is something that he butted heads with previous music directors in the past. He won an award for a cappella arrangement for his work with Amazin Blue. Their two albums (Shades of Blue and Self-Titled) can be found in Bandcamp One of his former fellow members in AB is also famous now. The half of the team behind Dear Evan Hansen, Justin Paul.

5. He was a trumpet player at the church where he grew up. (one of his first jobs). 6. According to him, he used to listen to awful Christian rock while growing up. 7. His dad is a retired band director. 8. Likes The 1975 9. He mentioned in Feb 23, 2024 on his stream that he does not want to sing Get In My Mouth live again because he does not want to relive the memory of playing a giant spider. He still thinks it's a great song.

III. Jobs First: Taking out the trash for a neighbor. Second: Trumpet player at the church where he grew up. Third: High school - Trumpet player and played as an "executioner" at a Medieval Times Dinner Theater (??? I'm not well-versed about this as I don't live in the US). After college, while looking for acting jobs and writing TTO. New York City Fourth: Carrying signs for Disney at Times Square. Fifth: Theater Usher (his favorite job). Los Angeles Sixth: working for THAT infamous Los Angeles escape room that he got from Nick Lang. Seventh: Full-time streamer, actor, singer, composer, dancer, acting coach, Internet Uncle to 20+ nephews and nieces 😆 around the world. A. One of his fave TV jobs is his appearance on HBO's Veep because he loves the show. B. On the 911 episode where his chef character accidentally hurts himself, he said he didn't particularly enjoyed his time shooting that ep because he was strapped with a heavy object on his chest during the bloody scene. C. Shooting 24/7: Lego Maniac was fun Eighth: He said a few times he's not auditioning anymore and will only take roles offered to him. Whether it's a joke or not, let's just take that as fact for now lol. There was a phase in his life that he got tired of auditioning (NYC, while writing TTO).

IV. StarKid Stuff

(while answering a personality quiz and as of late 2023 or early 2024) Fave Hatchetfield musical: Black Friday. (while answering a personality quiz as of late 2023 or early 2024) Fave LiB: Nibbly. For the longest time, he considers "Lost Without You" as his/one of his favorite songs that he wrote because it's his first ballad. Generally, if you ask him what's his fave StarKid song or what's his favorite play/musical he was a part, he can't/won't choose because he considers all of them his favorite. 2. I've read this many times, Max Jagerman was never written for Jeff. He may replicate the energy but he is too old to play a high schooler. Can you imagine him doing the shirtless scene during Dirty Girl? His body is no longer like when he did Aladdin in Twisted. He is no longer in his 20s. 3. He said he had the most fun composing for Black Friday.

V. StarKid Tangent Stuff 1. As of Feb 2024, Jeff announced that Rim Tim Timmy is dead. RIP Rim Tim Timmy. :,-( Meanwhile, his sister (chat head canon and Jeff laughed at the name) Rim (Ram) Tam Tammy is alive and well, thank yewww.... VI. Movies 1. For list of movies he loves, check out Rim Tim Timmy's Movies Movies Movies. Yes, you don't know half/most of the movies he likes cause he's old and you're a Gen Z-er. Get a grip. 2. His first and only appearance so far in a full length film is in his brother's indie movie Mondo Hollywoodland. As of now, the movie is available to watch for free in some streaming sites. VII. Likes 1. Coffee once a day, most of the time spending 10 dollars a cup from a shop. He has thankfully quit on nitro. He describes it like a drug addiction he needs to curb. He wants the baristas who are serving him to have that indifferent vibe.

2. Spreadsheet baseball. He plays with classic/ old school famous baseball players. He used to just play on an excel spreadsheet that he made himself until a fan who showed up on one of the TGWDLM showings and told him that he can compete with other people online.

3. Is a fan of the up and coming sport of arm wrestling. He only watches people arm wrestle, not engage in one.

[dduane]

OK so listen: I am the same age-ish as both the illustrious Mr. Gaiman and, I believe, you. So when you wrote the first Wizard book I was closer to having a kid, not reading like one. Still, I will read nearly anything, my mother used to tease me b/c if all there was to read at breakfast was the cereal box, I'd be reading it. I've read a LOT of books.

Just read SYWTBAW. Not to state the ridiculously obvious but it was well worth the 6-week wait (at the NYPL no less, who has plenty of copies). The rest of the series, of course, are now on my waitlist.

2 questions for you:

1: Should I read them in order? Will it make a difference to story arc/character development?

2: Did you pick Schenectady off a map/resource or have you actually been there and were speaking from personal knowledge? Double funny b/c aforementioned kid has lived there.

I'm so glad I found you and your work. Thanks for being such a nice person and fantastic writer (and cook, huh?)

...Yeah, I'm not a bad cook. (Though my most effective education in the art came from the gents on whom Tom Swale and Carl Romeo are based.) :) ...And I've got a shade less than a decade on @neil-gaiman. But once you're past 50, these differences don't matter so much, as you'll no doubt have been noticing. Especially among fellow cereal-box readers.

Meanwhile, I'm glad you liked So You Want To Be A Wizard! (And NYPL kept you waiting six weeks for a copy?? WTF. ...But I guess that means their available copies are in demand, so I shouldn't complain.)

Re: reading in order: In this series's case, I do recommend sticking with the publishing order, as there's a definite events arc... and as part of that, both plots and character development become more complex as time goes on. (Possibly a symptom of the author coming to a better understanding of the world she was building. Who knows.)

And re: Schenectady: I've been in and out a few times during trips upstate, but the main reference is to an old joke of Harlan Ellison's. He used to get a lot of questions from people at conventions who wanted to know where he got his ideas. Harlan eventually took to answering "Schenectady," claiming there was some kind of useful-idea warehouse up there... so that when he felt he was running low, he'd get on the phone to them and do a bulk order. (snicker) It was a favored riff. He kept adding unlikely stuff to it as time went by. Eventually I asked to borrow the locale-bit of the shtick, and he said "okay".

Anyway: glad you're planning to follow up on the series. When you run out of the in-traditional-print material, you may want to have a look at Ebooks Direct. There's more YW material over there, including at least one non-main-sequence novel, the offshoot Feline Wizards series, and a batch of novella-length works. (Not to mention the revised, updated-timeline New Millennium Edition ebook versions of the main sequence.)

Meanwhile: hope you enjoy what lies before you! :) And thanks for letting me know you liked the first one.

[thestobingirlie]

How would Robin and the other main females cast react to finding out jonathan taking those pictures and Steve breaking the camera? Whose side would they take?

okay, first, obviously i’m biased lmao. but so are all the characters!!

now, in this scenario they know everything that happened, not a one-sided story.

i think once robin finds out about the photos, it’s just immediate disgust, and we know our girl can hold a grudge. i think she’d be surprised that nancy would go on to date jonathan, and may make a few little comments about it, but she’s not getting into arguments or anything. and robin’s totally on steve’s side. she’s pro-cheating if it benefits steve lmao. there’s nothing he could do that would turn her away.

max and erica probably don’t know jonathan all that well, and are closer to steve; so instinctively i wanna say they’d side with steve. i think they’d find the pictures gross, and demeaning, and they’re take action kinda girls. i think they’d approve of the camera smashing. i can’t see them confronting jonathan or anything, but max could be a little colder, and i can see erica being bitchy, the way she was with murray and eddie when she met them. (edit: i will say, max may have a few thoughts about the camera smashing, if only because we know that’s how billy used to treat her when she’d annoyed him. but i do think she’d get why steve did it)

el’s a little bit more complicated. she knows jonathan better than steve, and she had a fucked up childhood, so i don’t think she’d immediately recognise how bad the photos were. the most lessons she’s had on bodily autonomy is “wear what you want to <3” (thank you max!!). but i think once max explains why it’s such a violation, she would not approve. however, she presumably knows how much jonathan is into photography, so i think she’d feel bad that jonathan lost his camera. although, i do think she and steve are similar in that they will both commit violent deeds if it’ll benefit their friends. so i think she’d understand the camera smashing, but she would feel bad for jonathan. i don’t think she’d exactly side with either one, and i can’t see it affecting how she interacts with them. it was a long time ago, and a tough situation.

joyce is, again, a little more complex. jonathan is her son, so obviously she’s 100% behind him. but, and though joyce would never raise a hand against either of her sons, she’d beat his ass for those photos lmao. she wouldn’t like steve for smashing the camera, especially because of their situation at the time (both financial and just… all the shit they were going through). though i believe a teenage joyce would’ve reacted worse than steve lmao. i also think beyond talking to jonathan about what he did, i don’t think she’d really think much about it. it was a long time ago, and steve has since proved himself to be a good person. she’s not holding a grudge.