#but right now im just in my bed in my shitty college dorm and i literally haven’t seen the sun for a week | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

3mmafr0st · 3 years

Text

Remember Me Pt 4

Previous <------

Bucky Barnes x Reader Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: SMUT, angst, swearing, incarceration? and my shitty writing

A/N: Please comment or reblog, any feedback is amazing!

The room was small, with an interrogation table in front of me, everything the same shade of muted grey I woke up here earlier, and had been waiting for someone, anyone to come in and give me some information. Tugging at the cuffs that pinned me down to the table, I struggled to break free.

“Sorry, you’re not gonna be able to get out of those. They’re made for enhanced people.” My eyes immediately darted to find the sound, settling on a man walking through the door.

“It’s you, from the lab. Who are you, how do you know my name? Where’s Bucky?” The questions began spilling out of my mouth, desperate for some sort of answers as to what the hell is going on. The man pulled out the chair that sat across from me, a file of papers in his hands.

“My name is Bruce, and let’s start with how much you remember,” He said. The name felt familiar, and although I was fighting him off before, I knew that I could trust him for some reason. His face was kind, and his voice was low and calming.

“It’s bits and pieces, nothing before Hydra, although I wish I did know, how do you know me?”

“Your name is Y/N Banner, a young scientific prodigy in quantum physics. According to records, you were the only one who was able to crack the secret of the Pym particle. You disappeared when you were nineteen years old after a college party, and no one had seen you since until now.” Banner, that was my last name, Banner. It had a nice ring to it, it felt powerful, strong.

“How long has it been since then?” He takes a deep breath, contemplating whether he should tell me or not.

“It’s been thirty-seven years.” It felt like a punch to the gut, they stole that much time from me. They stole thirty seven years from my life. Rage began coarsing through my veins, I needed to expel this, now. I smashed my hands into the table, before letting out an annoyed “fuck” from the pain. My hands left a small dent in the metal table.

“I’m sorry about the table, it's just, when you find out 37 years have been stolen from you, its hard to control your anger.”

“I know the feeling, believe me.” His hand fell over mine, and his eyes met mine, and although it was cloudy, something bubbled to the surface.

“Hey Stats, do you think I could get a hand with this?” Bruce’s voice called through the house. I rounded out of my own room to the room next door, where Bruce sat on his bed, books spread across the sheets and papers in every direction. His eyes looked up to me, pleading for help.

“Okay kid, what’s going on?”

“It’s this parabola problem, I’ve tried it like a billion times!” I laughed a little at his remark

“Bud, you and I both know that a billion is a bit of an overstatement. Let me see what we can do.” I saw the mistake immediately, a small computing error that he had been doing every single time. I circled the small mistake that had been throwing the whole problem off. He groaned loudly, letting out an annoyed “Really?”

“It’s gonna be okay, it was just a little computing error is all, there’s nothing to worry about.”

The two of us just sat, talking about school and stuff, how we were excited for the new school year. Bruce’s face fell, halfway through my sentence about the dorms.

“Bruce, what’s wrong?” He held his tongue for a moment, eyes beginning to get glassy.

“Why do you have to go away this year? Why can’t you just stay here, like regular?” I sighed. I knew he would react like this. I was finally 18, which meant legally, I could move out. Although I had completed most of my time in college at home already, I was going for my second doctorate and I wanted to finally have the chance to have the normal college experience, or at least as close to it as I could get. I needed to be an adult for once, be seen as an adult and not the child prodigy that I had always been seen as.

“Buddy, you know I want to be with you, hell, I’d bring you with me if I could, but they don’t allow 8 year olds in college dorms. I need to be an adult now, and I can’t do that staying home.” His eyes began to water, and I opened my arms out to him. “Come here, buddy.”

Bruce cried like that for a half an hour, as I held the small boy in his sadness, until he began to drift off to sleep.

“You’re the boy?” I said, looking at him. He definitely looked like the boy from my memory, but much older, with more lines on his face and a small scraggly bit of stubble, as if he had forgotten to shave, with a floppy curly mess on top, just like the boy had.

“What boy?” He asked tentatively, his eyes telling the story of hesitation and hurt, like he was holding back hope in fear of his heart breaking another time.

“There was a boy. I helped him with his math homework. He cried and I held him, his name was Bruce.”

“You remember?”

“Im starting.”

“You ok?” Steve asked me, nudging my arm. His eyes looked down at me in concern but I reassured him.

“I’m okay, Steve, I’ll be okay.”

“Tony couldn’t get us rooms next to each other, you’re on the fifth floor, I’m on the second.”

“Sounds good.”

Steve and I had grown to become pretty great friends since I got back. Steve and Bruce were the only ones that I felt safe enough around to talk to at the compound even from the beginning. I spent most of my time in the past few months either spending time with Bruce, and recovering my memories, or working with Steve to find Bucky. Spending my days going through mounds of papers and mission reports, to lunch dates working in the lab to help me regain that one and a half PhDs of information had been a daily occurrence and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Well, I would have it one other way. The only thing that would have made it better would be if Bucky was here with me. That’s why we were here, to find him and bring him home. We found a lead that told us he had been in Nevada for a while, specifically Vegas. We had booked a room at the hotel that he had been seen at.

As the elevator doors opened, Steve held the door open for me. “Get a good night’s sleep, we’ll get to work in the morning.”

“See ya in the morning, Steve.” I told him, as the doors began to close, leaving me in the hallway of the fifth floor. It was nice of him to go with me all the way up the elevator. I walked the long and winding halls until I found the right number, room 2603. Swiping the small key card against the scanner, the door clicked open and I walked inside. The room was clean, and out of complete habit, I began scanning the room for bugs, checking around the room to make sure nothing was listening in. Once I sweeped the place, the bed began to call to me, and I abandoned my clothing, before getting myself into bed, only a comfy shirt and panties left clinging to my body. With all the work that we had been doing to find Bucky, it was nice to have a chance to at least try and get some rest.

Bucky’s POV

I had hoped that she would come. There wasn’t much that I remembered, not yet at least, but she was coming back to me. I didn’t know how I knew here, but she was important, I could feel it. I knew the other guy was there two, Steve, the one I knew a long time ago, but for some reason, I knew I needed to see her. The two of them were important to me, I just knew it. There was an abandoned building to the side of the hotel that they were staying at, and I could see into the window of her room. The lights were dark, as she slept comfortably in her bed. I knew I shouldn’t, but I had to get closer, to see her. The clear, glassless window that I sat at was a clear shot from the balcony of her room.

Backing up from the edge, I took in a deep breath, calming my heart rate as I began running towards the opening. Pushing off the cement framing, I launched myself into the air, pushing myself forward even more until I felt my feet hit the cement of the balcony.

I could see her in there, sleeping. Somewhere inside of my head I knew this whole thing was wrong, but I couldn’t seem to stay away from her. It was creepy, wrong, but she looked so peaceful and innocent. It was a familiar feeling, not being in control, but this was different.

My head screamed out about how wrong this was, how disgusting I was being, while the rest of me was breaking the lock off of the door, walking into the room. The sound of the lock breaking and the door opening must have been too much sound, her body shot up in her bed, looking straight at me.

Reader POV

This has to be a dream, it couldn’t be anything else, a lucid dream that my brain had created to cope with the nightmares. There he stood, in the same room as me, dirty jacket and a baseball cap. His hair had gotten longer, like he hadnt been able to get it cut.

“Bucky?” My voice wavered with nerves and emotion, so scared that the man would disappear if I acknowledged that he’s here.

“You know me.” His voice was low and gruff, like he hadn’t had to use it in a while. I could feel my heart break. Although it was a statement and not a question. I could tell that he wasn’t all there, he didn’t remember me. Was this what Bruce felt like? Was this what it was like for him to see me, to know me, but the memory unreciprocated? A tear began to fall down my face, unable to control it.

“Yes, Buck, I know you.”

“Who are -“ he struggled to speak. “Who are you to me?” The knife that was already gutting me twisted into my stomach even more.

“Do you want to come closer?” I tried to keep calm as I spoke, not wanting to scare the man off. He was reluctant to come near me. “I promise, I’m not going to hurt you.”

“In all fairness, that's not what I’m worried about, doll.” There was a flash of him, of my Bucky pushing through the fog to find me. I must have taken too long. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that, I-“

“Come here, please.” Hesitantly, he walked closer, but not close enough. Pulling the covers off of myself, I rose from the bed, walking to meet him in the middle.

“Who are you?” He was close, his breath fanning my face as I looked up at him.

“Can I show you?” He nodded, almost desperately, and I closed the gap between us, pushing myself into him and meeting my lips with his. At first he was shocked, not moving his lips against my own, but after a moment, it was as if pure instinct took over, as his mouth roughly kissed mine, pushing me back into the bed.

My back hit the covers, and I gasped out in surprise, giving Bucky the chance to deepen the kiss. Our tongues battled for dominance for a short while, but he won out in the end. I wrapped my fingers in his hair, tugging slightly. The man groaned out into my mouth, sending the feeling straight to my core.

Fuck, it had been too long. His hands were on me, holding my waist down on the bed. I gasped out, feeling as his metal hand had found its way under my shirt, playing with the flesh, twisting and pinching at my nipple; My hips bucked up, rolling over his clothed dick, and he let out a louder moan. I tested, rolling my hips over a few more times, before Bucky got impatient.

Bucky’s hand immediately trailed downward, slipping his hand past my panties. Two fingers pressed at my clit, and I cried out, hypersensitive after being away from him for so long. He was oddly silent, no clever quips or comments that I had been used to. I still couldn’t tell how much he really remembered.

His fingers began to make rough and harsh circles on my clit, making my back curl up into his chest.

“Fuck, Bucky, please!” I cried out, absolutely wrecked just by his touch after so long away from him. Quickly, fingers moved downwards, circling my entrance before easing them into me. Eyes rolled into the back of my head as he found that spongy spot inside of me, curling his fingers over it. I could feel the tightened knot in my stomach threatening to snap.

“Buck-“ I cried out as he suddenly sped up, pushing his fingers in and out of me as fast as he could. Screaming out, the knot snapped, my vision going white as the tsunami like wave passed through my body. Bucky slowed down his fingers, working me through my orgasm until the feeling had passed.

The sound of his belt unbuckling was music to my ears, knowing what was coming. The anticipation was absolutely killing me, as I heard fabric shift, feeling the rough fabric of his jeans slide away, along with his boxers. My head threw back as he began to tease, running the tip of his dick up and down me, never getting quite near where I needed him most.

“Bucky please, fuck me,” I breathed out, barely able to catch my own breath. He began to line himself up with me, and then suddenly without warning, slammed his hips into me. “Holy fuck, Bucky!”

His fingers dug into my hips harshly, I hoped that it would leave bruises after. His hips pistoned into me fast and harsh, the man knew what he wanted and he was going to get it, and goddamn it felt fucking good. His lips claimed mine, swallowing the sounds coming from my throat. It was like he was everywhere, I could only feel him.

It was all too overwhelming, and with little warning, my second orgasm hit me like a freight train. I cried out for him, as his hips began to falter from his pace, getting closer and closer to his release. His dick twitched inside of me, and I felt as he spilled inside me, filling me up.

The sun began to creep through the window, waking me up. Confused, I got up from the hotel bed, I could have sworn that I had left the blinds shut when I fell asleep last night. I was pleasantly surprised with my own head last night. Normally, when my head hit the pillow, all I would see were the faces of the people I killed, reliving the awful memories that I have to deal with, but last night was different. I got to see Bucky. It was so real, his hands on my skin, his fingers and dick inside me.

I examined the door, looking for a moment, and noticing the lock that had been crushed, pulled out, and sat on the balcony. I couldnt understand what happened, until I looked at my own body. Lifting up my shirt slightly, I could see the purple indentations of his fingertips, Bucky’s fingertips.

It hadn’t been a dream after all.

#Bucky Barnes #James Buchanan Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky barnes x banner!reader #bucky fanfic #tfatws #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky smut #smut #angst #marvel smut #marvel fanfic #marvel self insert #marvel imagine #marvel fanfiction

23 notes · View notes

yikesharringrove · 4 years

Note

how about billy and steve aren’t able to quarantine together they are at their respective homes. but no neil please he’s dead none of him billy live with his mom and the boys are struggling but they’re trying

so, basically, Billy’s mom took her with him when she left Neil.

pwetty boi 🥺👉👈: should we just break up?

The text made Billy’s heart stop.

He knew Steve was being weird on the phone when they talked. Whenever Steve was quiet, it meant bad.

I mean, do you WANT to?

pwetty boi 🥺👉👈: like, no, but would it be easier? do YOU want to?

Of COURSE I don’t want to.

Billy sighed, tossing his phone onto the counter, scrubbing his hands down his face.

“What’s going on, Starfish?” He looked up at his mom with one eye.

“Steve’s being insecure.” She raised an eyebrow. “I just talked to him and now he’s texting me and asking if I want to break up.” They had met in college, both joined the LGBT+ club at Chapman University, ended up working at one of the coffee shops on campus together. They had been together for just about a year, spent almost all their time together.

And then global pandemic forced Steve outta the dorms and back to Indiana while Billy packed up and headed down to his mom’s place in San Diego.

“Why do you think he’s thinking that?”

“Steve’s clingy. He likes being around people, and being touched, like just straight cuddled, and his parents are real shitty, and pretty much ignore the fact that he exists, and me not being around to like, help him out is probably really fucking with him.”

She twisted one of his curls around her finger.

“Would his parents let him come here? He could stay with us.”

“I asked him when all this shit first went down, but they’re like, really freaking out about everything and want him home. It’s the first time they’ve been home for longer six days since Steve was fourteen.” Her jaw dropped.

“Oh my God. Poor Stevie. How could a parent just, just treat their child like that?” Billy licked her hand, made her laugh loudly. He checked his phone, finding a bunch of new texts from Steve.

pwetty boi 🥺👉👈: i’m sorry. i just feel like a chore.

pwetty boi 🥺👉👈: like, i think itd be easier for you

pwetty boi 🥺👉👈: if you dont have to deal with me

pwetty boi 🥺👉👈: im sorry im bothering you

Billy sighed.

“I should probably call him. He’s spiraling pretty hard. Twenty bucks says he hasn’t taken his meds in like, a week.” His mom tried to stifle a laugh, flicking a dish towel at him. He grinned at her while he pressed the call button.

“Hi, Bill.”

“Stevie, take your fuckin’ meds.” Steve huffed into the phone. “You can’t hide from me, Pretty Boy. I know how you get.”

“But I mean, think about it. You wouldn’t have to, to call and check in on me, you could just like, live your life. Date. If you wanted to.”

“We’re in a global pandemic. I’m not gonna go out and date, even if I fuckin’ wanted to break up with you.” He put his face down on the counter. “Now I’m gonna stay right here until you take your fucking meds.”

He could hear Steve stomping around on the line, slamming things around.

“Okay, I fucking took them.”

“Good. Now listen. I love you. I don’t want to break up with you. Even being halfway across the country from you, I’m so fucking happy. And it kills me that I can’t be with you right now, that I can’t hold you and help you, but I’m still here for you.”

“I’m sorry, Bill.” Steve sniffed. “I just, I hate it here. My parents are, are just all up in my shit, and my mom hasn’t let me leave the fucking neighborhood, and I, I’m so stressed out about school, and that I’m bringing you down and I feel like a fucking burden to everyone in my life and I, I” Steve broke down into sobs.

Billy’s heart fucking shattered.

All he wanted was to climb into a shitty dorm bed with Steve, hold him nice and close until he stopped feeling like shit about himself, until he understood that Billy fucking loves him.

“I’m sorry, Honey. I’m sorry I can’t help you. I wish I could do more. I love you. You are not a burden to me. I just, I wanna fucking climb through this phone and drag you home with me.”

“Maybe, maybe I could talk to my mom about, about visiting.” Billy held the phone out to his mom, putting Steve on speaker.

“Mom, tell Steve he can move in with us until it’s safe again.” She laughed lightly, taking the phone.

“Hi, Pumpkin. You are more than welcome here with us. Billy’s has been gardening up a storm. We’ve been giving away tomatoes to all the neighbors.” Steve laughed, it still sounded kinda wet.

“That sounds like heaven, ma’am.” She smiled warmly at Billy.

“Have Starfish send you my phone number, I can speak with your parents if you like. We’ve been very safe here. I’ve been sewing masks and giving them to all our friends as well.”

“I mean, I’ve been so miserable here, maybe, they might let me. I think my dad wouldn’t mind not having to deal with me anymore.” His mom pursed her lips at that. “I asked him for help with one of my classes, because apparently I forgot that he sucks, and he just told me I was an idiot for like, twenty minutes.”

She threw her rag down, her mouth all scrunched up.

“Baby, get the fuck out of that house. Come out here and hang out with me and my mom. We’ll help you with your work and won’t call you shitty names the whole time.”

“I don’t know, I am really fucking stup-”

“If you finish that fucking sentence, I swear to God, Steve.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine. Have your mom call my mom to set up our play date. We can have you quarantine in the guest room for a while after traveling.”

“Okay. Thank you, Bill.”

“I love you.”

Billy was driving slowly through the pick up line.

They had a whole plan of attack. Steve had put on a pair of latex gloves, and would put his bags in the trunk and then sit in the back seat.

Billy was gonna take him home, and he was gonna shower while Billy tossed his traveled in clothes in the laundry.

He saw Steve standing there, his big duffel bag slumped next to his large suitcase.

He was in a mask, but waved giddily at Billy in his mom’s car.

They executed the plan flawlessly, and before they knew it, they were making out in the guest room of Billy’s little house.

His mom knocked on the door.

Steve rolled off of him sheepishly.

“You can come in.”

“Are you sure?” Billy rolled his eyes.

“Yes, I’m sure, Mom.” She winked at him when she came in.

She hugged Steve tight, and Billy’s heart fucking soared as Steve melted into the hug.

“I’m so glad you could come out here. It’s wonderful to meet you.”

She smelled like fresh bread and lilies. Steve loved it.

“It’s nice to meet you as well, Mrs. Hargrove.”

“Oh please, call me Beth.” She pulled away from the hug. “Sweet Thing, come help me set the table. Let Steve get his bearings.” Steve was grinning.

“Billy calls me Sweet Thing.”

“Well, he comes from a long line of nicknamers, so you better get used to it, Sugar.” Billy kissed him on the cheek as he followed his mom out.

Steve still has no idea what Beth said to his mother to convince her to send Steve out to San Diego for the foreseeable future.

But somehow, she had made it work, and he wasn’t gonna be alone, or with cold parents that called him names, wasn’t gonna have to cry himself to sleep, not when he could sneak into Billy’s cozy little room.

He could garden with Billy, and Billy said he’d teach him how to skateboard, take him on bike rides around town.

They would cook, and Billy would help him finish the semester online, and the weather was warm and-

And Billy loved him.

Loved him so much he convinced his parents to let him fly across the country to live with him.

Steve had never been loved like this before.

And he was gonna fucking cherish it.

#this was originally much sadder #but 🤷‍♀️#another one from way down the req list #steve harrington #billy hargrove #steve harrington x billy hargrove #billy hargrove x steve harrington #harringrove #harringrove fic #harringrove ficlet #harringrove drabble #yikes writes

174 notes · View notes

wiener-soldiers · 4 years

Text

the imperfect bubble - steve rogers

summary: y/n looks at bucky barnes like he’s the sun and the stars; bucky looks at y/n y/l/n like nothing more than his best friend. steve looks at peggy carter like she’s a divine angel; peggy looks at steve rogers like he’s nothing more than the remnants of a college romance. y/n looks at steve rogers like he’s a mirror; steve looks at y/n y/l/n like she’s the only person left that he can confide in.

words: 10.2k (you read that right)

warning: angst, unrequited love, the slowest slow burn you can possibly fathom, okay maybe not a slow burn but more like an oh shit that happened, minimal editing

a/n: im?? back?? i really enjoyed writing this one tho

masterlist | add yourself to the taglist! | faq

Leave your grievances at the door.

It was no longer an unspoken rule; when Steve and Bucky stepped into Y/N’s shared apartment with her college—and by association, their—friend’s Natasha and Wanda for movie night, they found the saying printed on the doormat inside their apartment.

It was a tradition that Steve, Bucky, and Y/N started their freshmen year of college. Steve and Bucky were best friends since childhood and have been through thick and thin together. So it was no surprise that despite the two attending different colleges, they still made it a habit to spend every waking moment together.

The two left their beloved Brooklyn to attend schools in Manhattan—Steve at Columbia pursuing his history degree and Bucky at NYU pursuing his engineering one. It was Steve’s turn to make the trip downtown and hang out with Bucky, but to his surprise, upon arriving at his dorm, he met eyes with a slightly wine-drunk girl hanging upside down Bucky’s bed while he tried to throw popcorn in his mouth.

It was quite the first impression, but Steve learned her name was Y/N, she went to NYU for journalism, and that she’d be sticking around a lot.

That night, instead of going out, Steve joined them in Bucky’s dorm, watching shitty Netflix reality shows, getting drunk on cheap wine, and their weekly tradition lived on ever since.

The doormat saying was one Y/N jokingly said to Bucky in their sophomore year of college. Y/N had moved into a new apartment in the East Village with Natasha and Wanda, two girls she bonded with over mutual hate for a certain TA. Despite Steve and Bucky’s place being decently big after deciding to move into a place together, the girl’s place was decidedly better decorated and more suited for movie nights.

Bucky had come in complaining about how a girl in his class flirted with him just to steal his notes and eventually best him during their midterms. Granted, it was a thrilling tale, but Y/N has jokingly told him to, “Leave you grievances at the door, Buck. This is movie night; we are going to chill and get drunk.”

The unspoken movie night rule stuck ever since.

So, when Steve and Bucky (now juniors) kicked their shoes off upon entering the girl’s apartment, the let out an audible laugh, alerting them that the muscle of the group was here.

“You like it?” Y/N calls out from the kitchen, followed by several ‘pops.’ The smell of buttery popcorn wafted through the air as the two followed the scent into the living room. Natasha was already occupying her seat on the couch. Wanda sat on the floor, in between her legs so to let Natasha braid her hair, as she scrolled through her Netflix queue for movies to watch.

“Looks great, doll,” Bucky smiled at her, giving her a kiss on the cheek. Steve notices a red blush crawl up her neck and smirks, sending the girl a wink. Y/N’s blush extends even further.

“Where’d you get it?” Bucky asks, sauntering into the living room and hopping over the back of the couch to land beside Nat.

Wanda giggles, “I custom ordered it on Etsy. I thought it would be funny.”

“You’re not wrong,” Natasha replies before the three of them fall into easy conversation about their weeks.

Steve stays behind the kitchen, observing Y/N as she observes Bucky. He smiles amusedly at her before saying, “I take it he still doesn’t know.”

Y/N rolls her eyes, “He didn’t know last week. He didn’t know last year. He didn’t know since we were seventeen. You think I’m gonna tell him now?”

Steve shrugs, routinely helping Y/N gather the snacks and drinks for their movie night, “I think you’d be cute together, s’all.”

“Yeah? Tell that to the man himself,” Y/N says sarcastically.

“You could always tell him,” he counters, “Guys find it hot when girls make the first move.”

“Whatever you say, pal.”

---

As it turns out, Steve was right. And as much as Y/N hates to admit it, Steve was right about most things.

A few months after some mutual pining, Peggy Carter, the hot British international student that’s studying political science at Columbia grew more balls than Bucky and Steve ever could and asked the latter out on a date.

Y/N liked Peggy. She had gorgeous brown hair that was somehow always perfectly curled, warm eyes, but always wore seductively red lipstick. She looked like a drug, and if she wasn’t dating Steve, Y/N was convinced that she would ask the woman out herself.

Steve had stumbled into the girl’s apartment after their first date. Peggy had taken him dancing in a place in the East Village that played swing music and turned a blind eye when college students with sketchy looking fake IDs ordered cocktails. It’s not like they could do much harm anyway, most college kids who went there hopeless romantics who want nothing more than to dance with their dates with a little liquid courage.

As opposed to hopping on the subway slightly tipsy and potentially falling asleep before he reached in Midtown, Steve stumbled into his friend’s apartment, tipsy and high on the drug that took form in Peggy Carter.

“Hiya,” Steve said with a dopey, crooked smile. Y/N, Wanda, and Nat looked between themselves and Steve with widened eyes.

There were red lipstick stains all over his face.

Natasha smirks at him, “Looks like you had a good time with the missus.”

Steve points at Y/N, his eyes slightly lidded from drowsiness, “I told you it was hot when girls make the first move.”

Y/N lets out a snort. “It’s hot when Peggy Carter does anything, Stevie.”

His enormous grin widens. “Well, you got that fucking right.”

The three girls collective gag at the picture of Steve defiling the girl as Steve rolls his eyes at them, plopping down on the grey IKEA couch the girls were occupying. The couch was a moving in present from him and Bucky and despite how cheap it looked, they refused to allow the girls to get rid of it. If they were being honest, the girls didn’t have the heart to do so anyway.

“Do you mind if I crash here tonight?” Steve mumbles into Y/N’s lap.

“I’m staying at my brother’s tonight anyway,” Wanda says as she reaches over and runs a hand amusedly through Steve’s hair, “You can take my bed if you want, Steve.”

“No, s’okay. I’m comfy here,” he says, voice muffled by Y/N’s thighs.

“You’re a big fucking baby, you know that?” Y/N jokingly says, slapping Steve’s back. He screeches an ‘ow’ but doesn’t move an inch.

Nat smiles at them. Before she met Y/N and Steve, she would’ve been convinced they were dating. But, her heart is just as full knowing the incredibly wholesome and healthy friendship the two share. She reaches down to stroke Steve’s head before saying, “Y/N, I’m gonna go ahead and use the bathroom first—you seem occupied. Goodnight Steve.”

“Nighty night, Nat,” he murmurs. With Wanda, then Natasha stroking his head, sleep comes a lot faster than he intends.

“Steve?” Y/N asks him. It was her turn to slowly stroke his head.

“Mmhmm?”

“Did you let Bucky know you were staying over?” she asks, Mom-mode activating.

She feels her thighs rumble with Steve’s laughter. “He’ll live,” he tells her.

“He’s your best friend, hon. You gotta keep him updating on this kinda stuff.”

“But you’re my best friend too,” he sighs sleepily and Y/N’s heart swells with pride.

The corner of her mouth quirks into a smile, “Really?”

“Yeah, ‘course you duffus. ‘Sides, he probably thinks ‘m getting laid or somethin’.”

“You’re gross.”

“Eh, you love me.”

She did indeed. She let him fall asleep like that with a slight smile on his face, thinking about how well his date went. Y/N slowly slide out from underneath Steve, placing a blanket on top of him. She placed a glass of water and a bottle of Tylenol on the coffee table for him when he woke, along with a sticky note saying:

Gonna be up early tomorrow, lover boy. Take whatever leftovers you want from the fridge. Also, invite Peggy to movie night :)

---

Per Y/N’s request, Steve did ask Peggy to come to movie night with him. To which, she excitedly agreed.

And against Steve’s assumptions, Y/N seemed more excited to have her over than he was.

Steve and Peggy entered the apartment hand in hand, with Steve carrying a takeout bag and Peggy nursing a bottle of white wine. Bucky trailed in behind them, carrying a pack of beers.

“They have a cute place,” Peggy comments, slipping her shoes off and following Steve into the living room.

“Don’t tell it to their face, though. One compliment and they’ll fall in love with you and you’ll never be allowed out of their sight again,” Bucky jokes from behind them, wandering into the kitchen to set the beer down.

Despite their five-person gathering being a six-person one that night, Peggy fit right in. Over cheesy horror movies, glasses of wine and swigs of beer, and copious amounts of takeout, the bombshell of a Brit felt very at home with Steve’s friends. To her surprise, none of them were jealous of her—Steve was incredibly attractive and the perfect guy, so she was sure it was impossible for him to have female friends without them throwing themselves at him.

She was wrong.

She really got a full understanding of their friendship—especially Steve’s friendship with Y/N—when she wandered down the hall to find more blankets. She heard two voices quietly discussing in someone’s room. She would’ve walked away because she didn’t want to eavesdrop until she heard her name.

“Peggy seems to be really enjoying herself.” She recognizes the voice to be Y/N’s.

“God, I hope so. Thanks again for inviting her.” Steve’s voice this time.

“You were the one who invited her, jackass,” she hears Y/N say sarcastically.

She hears Steve groan, “Don’t even start with that. What I meant was…thanks for giving her a chance.”

Softer this time, she hears Y/N say, “Steve, you’re my best friend. I didn’t like your other girlfriends because they seemed like shitty people. Peggy is…Peggy is good for you. Like, really good.”

“Okay now…” he laughs.

“No, I’m serious. If you didn’t ask her out, I was really fucking close to taking her for myself,” she finished before she hears a yelp followed by a soft thud and mattress springs squeaking. She can’t help herself and takes a peek inside the room to find Steve tickling Y/N on the bed. Peggy smiles to herself at the closeness of the friendship.

She’s about to walk away when she suddenly feels the feeling in the room shift.

“Steve, I think I’m gonna ask out Bucky.”

She hears an excited gasp, “Fucking finally! I’ve been saying you guys would be great together for years!”

She hears Y/N shush him, “He’s in the other room Steve, shut up!”

Peggy hears Steve laugh, “Sorry, sorry. Why now, though?”

“Dunno. I guess I just like seeing you happy with Peggy. And I don’t know, it makes me think that I deserve that happiness too,” Y/N says softly and Peggy’s heart melts.

“I’m proud of you, Y/N,” she hears Steve say. Despite not knowing Y/N that long, she’s proud of her too.

“Thanks, Steve.”

---

Y/N doesn’t get a chance to ask Bucky out.

As Y/N, Nat, and Wanda were preparing brownies for movie night when they got a text on their group chat:

Bucky: Can’t make it to movie night

Nat: got a hot date or smth?

Bucky: ;)

“Y/N…” Natasha calls out.

“Mhmm?” the girl calls out. “Gimme a second, I gotta take the brownies before they burn.”

Natasha sighs and walks into the kitchen to find Y/N gingerly setting the pan of brownies onto the counter. Wordlessly, Nat shows Y/N her phone with the group chat open.

The smile immediately falls from Y/N’s face.

“Y/N…” the red-head starts before getting vehemently cut off.

“I should be happy for him, right? My best friend just scored a date—”

“Y/N—”

“I was happy when Steve started going out with Peggy, why can’t I be happy Bucky found someone too—”

“Y/N!” Natasha says, more firmly this time.

“Why did you show me this, Nat?” she hisses, whipping her head and staring accusingly at her.

Natasha narrows her eyes at her, “You fucking know why. This was on the group chat, but I wanted to be there if you needed me when you saw it.”

Y/N’s eyes soften, “Nat, I’m sorry—”

Natasha cuts her off and immediately envelops her in a hug. “Don’t be,” she whispers, patting her head comfortingly, “You’re too good for Bucky, anyways.”

Y/N scoffs into her shoulder, “That’s my best friend, asshole. And Steve always said we’d be good together.”

“Steve has no fucking clue what he’s talking about.”

Y/N laughs a little harder, forcing the tears she was trying to keep in slowly stream down her face. Natasha immediately notices, and wipes them away with her thumbs, “Don’t cry, sweetheart. And don’t think about Bucky. ‘Sides, it’s movie night and—”

“—I need to leave my grievances at the door, yeah I know,” she finishes with a sad smile on her face. Y/N shakes her head, “That saying is kicking me in the ass, isn’t it?”

Ten minutes later, Wanda emerges from the bathroom, screeching in frustration from Bucky’s texts in the group chat. Y/N tries her best to tell Wanda that she’s over it, but Wanda is strangely good at reading people (it doesn’t help that she’s also a psychology major). The girls usually love Wanda’s weird sixth sense, but Y/N couldn’t help but find it quite inconvenient at this very moment.

Half an hour after that, Steve arrives at the girls’ apartment, this time without Peggy. The first thing he does is wrap Y/N in a bear hug, despite her protests at everyone making a big deal out of it. Steve doesn’t care, only hugs her tighter.

The four of them huddle around the TV, watching whatever movie was next on their queue and catching up on life. They tried really hard to ignore the awkward tension and the lack of the Bucky-ness the group had. It was movie night, after all. The perfect bubble that was their movie night felt a little different than it normally had.

---

Bucky misses movie nights for the next few weeks.

With the end of junior year approaching, the group of friends rarely had time to socialize outside their study groups except for their weekly tradition. With Bucky gone doing whatever Bucky was doing, Y/N didn’t see him for weeks on end. The only interaction they had was the occasional meme being sent to the group chat or like on Instagram.

She missed him. But deep down inside of her, she wasn’t that all surprised.

What did surprise her was Bucky’s sudden appearance at their last movie night before the end of junior year.

They were halfway through their first movie—Wanda was teaching Peggy how to braid a flower crown, Steve had agreed to let Natasha paint his nails a red and blue ombre while he played a game of Connect Four with Y/N, all while a random movie played on the screen—when they heard the front door unlock.

“Sorry I’m late!” called a voice. It was distinctly Bucky’s, but the female giggle that followed was not.

Bucky and an unnamed blonde materialize in the living room and everyone looks at the pair in shock. Y/N could feel a few of her friend’s stares be redirected to her, but she can’t seem to overt her eyes from the blonde.

Her hair seemed like it was literally golden as it flows down her light-green sundress. She was wrapped around Bucky’s arm—the arm with his tattoo sleeve on it, the arm that she loved tracing the patterns of the tattoo with during movie night.

Peggy breaks the ice first, “Hi, Bucky.”

“Oh, you have an accent!” the blonde squeals and Y/N can feel her eyes roll. Wanda scoffs beside her.

“Bucky, can I talk to you for a sec?” Y/N asks, more like demands, as she stands up abruptly and walks briskly past Bucky towards the hall, away from the view of the living room.

Once they were out of earshot from their friends, she hisses, “What are you doing here?”

Bucky laughs almost mockingly, “What do you mean, ‘what am I doing here?, It’s movie night, isn’t it?”

Y/N sighs tiredly, “Bucky, we haven’t seen you for weeks. Then, you show up with some blonde girl that we’ve never met?”

“I’ve been busy. What, am I not allowed to be busy anymore? The world doesn’t revolve around movie night,” Bucky snarls at her.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, that’s not what I meant and you fucking know it,” she growls back. “You’ve been radio silent for weeks—you pretty much ghosted all of us. Hell, if it wasn’t for Steve living with you, we would’ve thought you were fucking dead! But we gave you space because we aren’t helicopter-friends. But then, you show up after ignoring us for weeks with some chick I’ve never seen before at my fucking house on fucking movie night?! Can you see why I’m a little pissed off right now?”

“The British chick is here! Why the hell can she be here but not Dolores?” Bucky bites back, his voice rising.

“Because Peggy was invited to my house and Dolores fucking wasn’t!” Y/N says aggressively, her voice nearing a shout.

“This isn’t your tradition, Y/N. You want to control everything about this friend group and trust me, sweetheart, we’re all getting sick of it.”

“Oh, you can’t fucking do that.”

“Do what?”

“Talk like you’re still a fucking part of this friend group.”

“What, you’re gonna kick me out of your clique because I’ve been busy? Because I have a life?”

“No, because you’ve been a shitty fucking friend!” Y/N shouts, chest heaving, and face red.

Bucky’s eyes widen in shock. Sure, they’ve had points in their friendship where they haven’t communicated in a few days, but never this long. And Y/N had most certainly never been this angry with him before.

That seemed to knock some sense back into him. “Y/N—”

“Get the fuck out, Bucky.”

“Wha—”

“I said get out,” she says, eerily quiet.

So, he did. Bucky stormed out of the hallway and grabbed Dolores before marching out of the apartment. When Y/N sat back down with the rest of their friends, she could feel their stares burning into her face, but all she did was reach for the remote and continue playing the movie.

---

After Y/N’s argument with Bucky, he stops showing up game nights. They even make a new group chat without Bucky in it (because apparently, kicking him out of the apartment was fine but kicking him out of the group chat was too mean). Despite not really knowing what exactly was said, everyone understood what happened that night. To be frank, they were all waiting for someone to snap. A confrontation with him was long overdue.

The friend group is different without Bucky’s presence. Not better, not worse, just different.

It was clear that there would be awkward tension among the friends immediately after the argument. Wanda and Nat immediately sided with Y/N and clearly wanted nothing to do with Bucky. Steve was a trickier subject. Wanda, Nat, and Y/N all understood that they couldn’t force Steve not to be friends with him, so they all accepted him as their neutral party.

After a few months, their different was starting to feel normal.

But Y/N still missed Bucky. Despite her years of pining, Bucky was still her best friend. He was still the guy who walked her to her morning lectures after his run and got her wine drunk after a guy rejected her. Y/N missed that version of Bucky—she just wasn’t sure if he existed anymore.

Based on periodic updates that Steve gives her, Bucky is still with Dolores. “He’s happy,” Steve tells her. “Different, but happy.”

After a few months of living without Bucky in her life, she starts to blame herself. Had she been overreacting? Most probably. Did she really need to kick him out of her apartment? No.

“Was what you did justified though? Definitely,” Steve would always remind her. Some days she believes him, some days she doesn’t.

Still, her life begins to reach some semblance of normal. Movie nights are still once a week, but they’ve changed from a place where they have pseudo-therapy sessions lead by Wanda while a cheesy movie plays in the background.

It was about halfway into their senior year when Steve drops something on them during one of their movie night conversations.

“I might move to London,” Steve says out of the blue.

“What?” Y/N turns to him in shock.

Steve stares blankly at his lap, fidgeting with the nearly empty glass of red wine. “Peggy wants to move back to London after we graduate,” he says softly. “She wants me to go with her.”

It was Wanda’s turn to ask, “Well, why doesn’t she stay here with you?”

“Her family’s in London.”

“And your family is here, Steve,” Y/N replies softly, “We’re here.”

Steve sighs and runs a hand over his face before releasing a frustrated cry, “I don’t know what to do, guys.”

Natasha looks at him sympathetically before grasping his hand tightly, “Have you talked to Bucky about this?”

“Not yet…he’s got a lot on his plate right now,” Steve starts, warily looking at the girls sitting around him.

“What do you mean?” Natasha presses.

“Bucky proposed to Dolores a few days ago…” Steve sighs.

“Well…” Y/N starts, trying to find the right words, “Congrats to them.”

“Yeah,” Steve replies lamely before downing the remainder of his red wine. “I love Peggy, I really do,” Steve starts, “but I don’t know if London is right for me.”

Y/N raises an eyebrow at him, “What do you mean?”

Steve sighs again, “I don’t know how to explain it but…lately it feels like our relationship isn’t real anymore⁠—like she’s using me as a prop. It feels like she’s dragging me along because she feels like she has to. I really do love her but going to London with her just doesn’t feel right.”

“And what does feel right, Steve?” Wanda asks him gently.

Steve answer in a heartbeat, “New York. With you guys.”

Y/N offers him her kindest eyes. She murmurs softly, “Steve, I think you have your answer then.”

---

Steve stayed in New York.

He was a little heartbroken by Peggy’s reaction though; she simply acknowledged him and went straight back to packing, not even bothering to fight for their relationship. Maybe there wasn’t a whole lot to fight for after all.

Bucky also married Dolores.

After their graduation, Bucky and Dolores eloped. They didn’t want the pressure of an actual wedding, so they got on a flight to Vegas and got hitched in their graduation gowns. The reassured everyone (especially their parents) that they would have a real wedding for everyone else afterwards.

Y/N, Wanda, and Natasha finally got their own places. Wanda was moving in with her brother, Pietro, into an apartment in Morningside Heights. They were both starting their master’s at Columbia (Wanda in psychology and Pietro in exercise physiology), so they wanted to live closer together. Natasha was finally moving in with her boyfriend, Bruce. They were a very private couple, so they weren’t at all surprised when they told them that they were moving into their own place in Park Slope, close to Bruce’s research job and Nat’s marketing firm.

Y/N was really close to downsizing to a studio when Steve rolled his eyes and told her, “Don’t be an idiot, I’ll move in with you. That place is too nice to give up. Besides, Bucky and Dolores are looking for a place to move into.”

So, what was once Y/N, Wanda, and Nat’s apartment was now Y/N and Steve’s.

Not much changed about the apartment: Y/N kept her old room and Steve moved into Wanda’s. Natasha’s room had the most natural light, so they turned it into an office. Steve, Y/N learned, was the ideal roommate—his stuff was never messy, he helped run errands, and he was a delight to be around.

If it was possible for the two best friends to get any closer, they did.

Y/N fell into an easy routine with Steve, almost like it was second nature. After both taking the summer off, Steve started his law degree at Columbia and Y/N started her job as a Staff Writer at the New York Times.

They woke up at around seven and Steve got started on breakfast while Y/N used the bathroom first. As soon as she got out, breakfast would be waiting for her, so she got started on making coffee for her and Steve. Steve didn’t usually take long in the bathroom, so they ate breakfast together, enjoying each other’s company before their day started. After they both got dressed, they both walked to the subway and rode the L train before they had to split ways: Steve Uptown to Columbia and Y/N to the New York Times building. Steve usually got out of classes first, so he usually ran some errands for the place or studied in a café in the Village somewhere so to let Y/N get home before he did. She loved making dinner, so Steve usually came home to her blasting music and cooking.

The funniest part about their arrangement is that it was barely an arrangement: they didn’t really agree on splitting up their day this way. It just sort of…happened. It was natural but it felt right to the both of them and that’s all they could ever ask for.

The arbitrary lines of being roommates slowly began disappearing as well.

Four months into living together, Y/N and Steve started sharing a bed.

It wasn’t romantic, but more like a necessity. Steve had walked by Y/N’s room when he heard slight whimpering. He immediately swung open the door and found her lying on her bed, clutching her stomach in pain with tears streaming down her face.

Steve immediately lost his composure, “Y/N? Are you okay?!”

“It fucking hurts Steve,” she mumbles, “Why does bleeding out of your vagina fucking hurt so much?”

Steve’s eyes immediately soften and he lets out a low hum, “Y/N, I thought you were dying.”

“I am dying. This heat pad isn’t doing shit!”

Steve laughs and makes his way to the bed, lifting the covers and sliding beside her. Y/N immediately shifts so that Steve can be more comfortable. He wraps his arms around her, making sure to put his palm flat on her stomach. In the mess of tangled limbs, they fall asleep like that and take the most relaxing nap of their lives.

Steve shares a bed Y/N that night. And the night after that. And the night after that.

Soon, Steve barely slept in his old room anymore. It got to a point where it didn’t even make sense for him to have his own room: Y/N’s room was bigger, closer to the bathroom, had a comfier bed, and Y/N was in it.

The two spend a weekend clearing out Steve’s new room and moving all his stuff into Y/N’s. They turn they put the grey IKEA pullout couch inside along with an array of painting supplies and camera equipment, effectively turning it into a home studio. They like the apartment better this way.

A few months later, the two get a dog together. The mini Australian Shepard has a gorgeous coat, different coloured eyes, and a scar that stretches across his face, a reminder as to why they rescued him in the first place. The renamed him Mando (because his face reminded them of the Mandalorian helmet) and he was like their child. He was full of energy, so Steve loved brining him along for runs in the park. But he was also quiet, reserved, and sensitive so Y/N adored cuddling with him on the couch.

It was their own little family. Steve, Y/N, and Mando.

Movie nights were still a weekly occurrence, but it wasn’t always at their place anymore. Almost six months after Steve moved in with Y/N, they hosted movie night at their place again.

It wasn’t as if Wanda and Natasha hadn’t seen Y/N and Steve since then, but it was the first time they really felt the changes in their old place.

“You redecorated,” Nat commented with a smile. She noticed there were more pictures up: some of their entire friend group, some of just Y/N and Steve. There was also a hanging shelf above the TV (something that Y/N had always talked about installing but never did) that housed some pottery and other knick-knacks Y/N and Steve have collected over the years.

Wanda notices the dog crate and bed in the corner of the living room, along with a basket of toys for the dog. She asks, “Where’s Mando?”

“Steve took him when he went to get the takeout. He likes to cuddle if that’s what you’re asking, Wanda,” Y/N answers amusedly.

“Whathcu do with our old rooms?” Nat hums as she takes a seat on their new couch. She wondered where the grey IKEA one went; it was unlikely that Y/N had the heart to throw it away.

Y/N sits down beside her holding three wine glasses and a bottle of red wine. She pops the cork and pours them all a drink before saying, “We turned your old room into an office and Wanda’s into an art studio slash guest bedroom. That’s where the grey pullout went.” Y/N finished her sentence absentmindedly, almost like she didn’t realize the implication she made.

Wanda and Nat smirk at each other.

Nat takes a sip of her wine before nonchalantly saying, “You know, I always knew you and Steve would end up together.”

Y/N chokes on her wine, “I’m sorry…what?”

Wanda chuckles at her, “You live together, you share a bed, you got a dog.”

Y/N hums nervously, “We’re not dating.”

“Seems like you’re already married if you ask me,” Wanda counters with a smirk.

Before Y/N could get any more embarrassed, the front door opened and Mando came bolting inside, followed by Steve who laughed as the dog jumped on the couch and licked its occupants.

“Oh, Mando you’re so cute,” Wanda gushed before she immediately became occupied and played with Mando.

Natasha looked on with a knowing smirk as Y/N watched Steve approach, both wearing matching smiles, and Steve presses a kiss on her forehead.

“I got Lo Mein if that’s okay. I tried to make it to the pizza place, but I guess Mando likes the smell of Chinese,” Steve says quietly to her before setting the takeout on the coffee table beside the glasses of wine.

She smiles at him, “That’s okay, thanks for grabbing it anyways.”

“I figured you wanted time with the girls to catch up,” Steve shrugs before hopping over the back of the couch to sit next to you.

As the movie started and everyone started eating their serving of food and wine, Y/N assumed the natural position of leaning against Steve’s chest with his arm thrown around the back of the couch. The smell of his cologne is so synonymous with safety to Y/N, so she naturally leans closer to him.

Halfway through the first movie, Y/N catches Nat staring at her and Steve with a smirk. Nat sends a wink her way which sends Y/N’s face in a red flush.

She averts her eyes and looks back at the movie. We are not dating, Y/N thinks to herself, this is just natural.

---

It was about a year after Y/N and Steve started living together when they both got invitations to Bucky and Dolores' wedding.

Their group chat was blowing up with questions like ‘should we even go to the wedding?’ and ‘won’t it be awkward for everyone involved?’

Steve already knew that he was going. Despite everything, Bucky was still like his brother. They still saw each other almost weekly and although he wasn’t Dolores’ biggest fan just through negative association, he was happy that Bucky was immensely happy.

Y/N, on the other hand, needed more convincing.

“Jesus, I wish he never invited me to his goddamn wedding,” Y/N complained, her head buried in Steve’s shoulder as they sat on the couch, “Is this his version of a punishment? The anxiety of choosing whether or not I should come to his wedding?”

Steve rubbed her shoulder comfortingly, “Y/N, he did use to be your best friend.”

“Before I told him to get out of my life and that I never wanted to see him again,” she states bluntly. “God, I was so fucking stupid.”

“Hey,” Steve says firmly, “The both of you were acting pretty stupid, we’ve established that. But you’ve grown up. Bucky did invite you, which means he wants you to come.”

Y/N stays silent as Steve continues, “I know you miss him, Y/N. And clearly, he misses you too. Maybe this is your first step at mending your friendship.”

“If there’s anything left of it,” Y/N says pathetically.

“You won’t know if you don’t go to the wedding.”

So, she ends up going to the wedding.

The actual ceremony went by in a blur. Dolores was wearing a beautiful gown with gorgeous floral lace and Bucky in a wonderfully fitted velvet suit. Y/N thought the first time she would see Bucky in years would be filled with melancholy, but Y/N just felt better that Steve (from beside the groom) was sending her reassuring smiles the entire ceremony.

The couple was technically already married, so they didn’t have a licensed officiant. Instead, they had an array of friends, including Steve, the best man, say different parts of the pre-made script. It was fun, lighthearted, and had Bucky written all over it—something that Y/N missed about him the most.

At the reception, she took advantage of the open bar. She spent her time socializing with Natasha, Wanda, and Sam, a mutual friend who became an Air Force officer straight out of college. The night was still young, so Steve spent most of his time with the wedding party, occasionally sending Y/N texts like:

Steve: Miss you!

Steve: How many drinks have you had so far?

Steve: You made sure to lock Mando’s crate, right?

Steve: Did I tell you that you looked rlly pretty tonight?

Steve: I can’t wait until everyone gets drunk so I can hang out w you :)

“Texting at my wedding? I thought you loved parties, Y/N,” a recognizable voice says amusedly.

Y/N’s head snaps up and she’s met with a face that she hasn’t seen in years.

“Bucky—”

Bucky cuts her off, “Before you say anything, I’m sorry. You were right, I was being a really shitty friend and I didn’t have the right to ignore you, yell at you, or just bring random people into your home like I owned the place. I just…really missed you. You’re my best friend and my life hasn’t really been the same without you.”

Y/N is rendered speechless. Her mind blanks as she stares into Bucky’s watery eyes, begging for forgiveness. She says nothing and instead wraps her arms around Bucky, pulling him close. The man immediately wraps his arms around her like they’ve never left.

After the wedding, Bucky starts to show up to movie night again.

It takes a whole lot of coaxing to let Natasha and Wanda allow Bucky back into their lives, but eventually, they come around. It wasn’t like college though, but it was nice, nonetheless. One night, Bucky revealed that movie nights are when he feels the most like himself again. The rest of them smile wordlessly at him, but confusion does seep into the back of their minds.

A year since the wedding, the group finally fully accepts Bucky back into their lives as if he never left. He catches up with Natasha during impromptu lunches, takes Wanda to dinner if she’s ever in Midtown, watches the Yankees play with Steve to take his mind off of law school, and drops lunch off to Y/N at the New York Times building if he’s in the area.

Bucky truly misses his friends, but somewhere deep in his heart, he misses Y/N a little bit more.

The rest of them also notice how little Bucky talks about Dolores when they’re together.

They found it strange at first; normally, husbands loved talking about their wives. But Bucky never brought her to their outings, to movie night (despite everyone insisting that they’d be happy to have her over), and rarely brought her up in conversation unless asked.

Y/N found it especially strange. In a mature attempt to move on from her college crush on Bucky, she tried to make amends with Dolores. Turns out, the blonde was an adorable girl from Brooklyn that absolutely adores Bucky. She’s sensitive but hilarious and Y/N loves spending time with her.

She also noticed how much Dolores talked about Bucky. It was clear how much she adored him, so it was almost unfathomable to her how Bucky didn’t talk about the wonderful woman nearly as much as she talked about him.

“Don’t you find it a little weird?” Y/N asked him as he was brushing his teeth. Steve was concentrated on her face despite toothpaste foaming around his mouth. Y/N sat on the bathroom counter, feet swinging as she absentmindedly played with an elastic.

Steve spit in the sink before speaking, “I mean, you know Buck. He’s a pretty private guy.”

“Yeah, but he doesn’t shut up about crazy stories he’s had with you and Bucky loves you. I just find it a little funky that he doesn’t act the same with Dolores,” Y/N explained.

Steve sighs and gargles the rest of the toothpaste out of his mouth. “I guess I never thought about it that way… They have only been married for a little over two years though. Maybe they’re still figuring out the ropes of their marriage?”

Y/N shrugs with a sigh, hopping off the counter and stripping off her shirt and pants. Steve tries his hardest not to stare but he can’t help but stare at the curve of her body as she reaches to slip on one of his hoodies she likes to wear for bed.

Steve isn’t really sure where his relationship with Y/N stands, to be honest. It’s funny to him—they act like an actual married couple, minus the romance. Acting domesticated with her just feels so natural to Steve, but he’s scared putting a label on anything will change the dynamic, so he stays silent and cherishes the domestic moments he has with her.

“You’re right, I’m probably overthinking it,” Y/N mumbles before slipping past him, “I’m headed off to bed. Don’t take too long.”

Y/N doesn’t notice Steve’s hard blush as he scrambles to put on some pyjamas to join her in bed.

---

“I’m nervous.”

“Jesus, Steve. You’ll be fine! You’re the top of your class at fucking Columbia, so there’s no way you failed the bar,” Y/N cheers on excitedly from behind him. She rubs his shoulders as he stares at his inbox, too afraid to click on the email titled ‘New York State Bar Exam Results.’

Steve’s foot taps incessantly, “I’m still too scared to look.”

Y/N reaches over his shoulder and kisses his cheek. “Fine,” she says, “I’ll look for you.” She clicks on the email and scrolls down, searching for Steve’s exam number.

After a few seconds, Y/N hesitantly asks, “Steve?”

“Mhmm?” he replies, his head in his hands.

“What’s your exam number again?”

“S-24601,” he replies quickly.

Y/N squeals and hugs him from the back, pressing kisses all over his neck. “You fucking passed, Steve!” she squeals.

“I did?!”

“Of course you did, dummy!”

Steve laughs in excitement and disbelief, grabbing Y/N by the waist and spinning her off the ground. Mando barks excitedly, jumping up happily against Steve’s thighs.

“You did it!” Y/N smiles down at him, her cheeks hurting from all her laughing.

The two celebrate by hosting movie night at their place with extra food, desserts, and ridiculous amounts of alcohol. Wanda brings Vis, the high school chemistry teacher she’s been seeing, Nat brings Bruce, and Bucky finally comes around and brings Dolores along for the celebration. Even Sam, who happened to be off duty, was able to come to the celebration.

Despite it technically being movie night, most of the night was spent trading funny stories about Steve, emptying bottles and bottles of wine and beer, and finally letting loose for the first time in a long time.

Around ten in the evening, the board games came out and the group of twenty-somethings started playing games with a drinking twist. Y/N had been attached to Steve by the hip all night (largely because he always seemed to have his arms around her), but she couldn’t complain. The several glasses of wine she had did make it easier for her to ignore Wanda and Natasha’s smirks.

It also made it easier for her to be ignorant of how awkward Dolores felt at the gathering. Y/N sincerely like the girl, but she was unaware of her discomfort until around one in the morning. Most people had left, and it was just Steve, Y/N, and Bucky cleaning up.

“Y/N, I’m gonna take a quick shower,” Steve calls out to Y/N as she washes the dishes with Bucky picking up trash in the living room. “Goodnight Bucky!” Steve calls out before disappearing.

“Goodnight, Steve,” Bucky shouts back before walking into the kitchen. He leans against the counter and watches Y/N as she does the dishes. Y/N notices his presence, then notices the lack of someone else’s presence.

“Hey Buck, where’d Dolores run off to?” Y/N hums, drying the last of the dishes.

Bucky shrugs, “Took an Uber and went home early.”

Y/N turns around to face him, “Shit, Buck. You didn’t have to stay—”

“Nah, I wanted to. She’s probably fine,” he answers nonchalantly.

“Probably?”

Bucky doesn’t respond.

Y/N takes a deep breath and fiddles with the dishtowel in her hands before saying, “Bucky, why is this the first time in three years of marriage that Dolores has come to a friend get together?”

Bucky’s jaw unhinges a little, “What do you mean?”

Y/N sighs and sets the dish towel down. She takes a deep breath before saying, “We’ve asked you to invite her to come over for years, but you always make excuses for her. You don’t nearly talk about her as much as she does about you, and I know that for a fact because I’ve hung out with Dolores on multiple occasions. Bucky…is everything alright between you and Dolores?”

Bucky stares intently at her for a few seconds before his resolve crumbles. His eyes lose its intensity and are replaced with tiredness as he drags his hand across his face. “Dot and I…” Bucky starts, “are going through a bit of a…rough patch.”

“Bucky—”

“I made a mistake marrying her,” he says bluntly.

“What?” Y/N says in shock. Every time she’s spent time with Dolores, she had been nothing but lovely. She’s perfect for Bucky—she doesn’t understand where he’s coming from.

“I love Dolores but I…”

“But…?”

Bucky doesn’t say anything. Instead, he crosses the kitchen floor in two long strides and grabs Y/N by the face, kissing her fiercely.

Y/N freezes and her eyes widen in shock. What the fuck was happening? was the only thing her brain could possibly register at the point.

Bucky pulls away but the grip on her face doesn’t fade, “But I’m in love with you, Y/N. And I know for a fact that you love me too.”

He leans in for another kiss, but Y/N pushes him away. “Bucky stop!” she says, harsher than she intends, but she doesn’t regret it.

Bucky stares at her, dumbfounded, but she continues, “That was a long, long time ago. And Jesus, Bucky you’re married!”

He shakes his head, “I don’t need to be forever—”

“—And you’re drunk!” she explains in exasperation.

“But I know some part of you still loves me. And God, I love you too. All those years without you and it finally got through to my thick skull,” Bucky argues.

“But what about Dolores?” she whispers.

“Fuck Dolores,” he says. Bucky reaches for her again, but Y/N steps away.

“Bucky, I can’t,” Y/N cries. “Maybe there’s some part of me that loves you, that may always love you. But there’s a bigger part of me that loves what I have right now. Bucky, I’ve never felt so safe before. So happy, so cared for, so loved. I know it’s selfish, but I can’t give away the happiness and security that I deserve to explore what my life would be like with you because I love—”

Y/N stops abruptly, her voice catching in her throat.

“Because you love who, Y/N?” Bucky asks. She notices how his eyes have become glassy and how his shoulders had slumped slightly.

Because I love Steve, Y/N thinks. But she doesn’t find the courage to say it. Bucky can see it in her eyes, though.

“It’s him, isn’t it?” Bucky doesn’t have to say his name who she’s talking about.

Y/N is silent, her heart thumping so loud her she’s afraid Bucky can hear it.

Her silence is enough for him, “Ah.”

Bucky waits a few more seconds before saying, “When did you know?”

Y/N gulps and lets out a shaky breath. When did she know? She racks her brain but can’t think of a specific time. Part of her thinks that she always knew. She was so natural around Steve. So safe and carefree. Steve was there when that perfect bubble of her friendship with Bucky popped, and he even stayed with her after. He was the one that helped her mend her heart and, in the process, built himself a spot inside without even realizing it. Her imperfect bubble, her lens of the world, may have been broken, but Steve was inside, and Y/N knew that it’s all the really mattered.

I love Steve, she confessed to herself. She felt like she was Cher in Clueless, with the fountain of her emotions erupting inside her. Bucky could clearly see it on her face as he smiled sadly.

“Did I ever have a chance?” he whispers.

“Yeah... A long time ago,” Y/N answers softly, not trusting her voice.

“Will I ever get the chance again?”

Y/N shakes her head softly, “Don’t wait for me, Bucky.”

Bucky smiles sadly at her, a tear escaping his eye. She reaches for him, but Bucky shakes his head, “See you around, Y/N.”

And just like that, he’s gone.

Y/N feels like she’s on autopilot. Adrenaline is still coursing through her system; coupled with alcohol and a whole lot of courage, her feet bring her to the bathroom before even realizing. She doesn’t realize that she’s turning the doorknob or stripping completely. She barely registers her stepping into the steamy shower before and she definitely doesn’t fully register her tapping Steve on the shoulder, reaching up, and kissing him fiercely.

He pulls away first, “Y/N?”

She kisses him in response. This time, he responds but pulls away a few seconds later, “Why are you doing this? Are you drunk?”

“Yeah, it’s not why I’m doing this though,” she says, voice raspy.

“Why then?”

“Because I love you.”

“Oh,” was Steve’s response before kissing her again. The two sloppily make out like teenagers discovering sex for the first time before Steve pulls away again.

“I also love you, you know,” he says lazily against her lips. He feels her smile.

“That’s good,” she replies before kissing him once more.

The night lasts a lot longer than both of them intend. But it wasn’t like they were complaining.

---

Life had a strange way of playing out sometimes.

It seemed as if Y/N and Steve blinked and the rest of their lives fell straight into their laps.

When they meet new people, they always ask them how long they've been together or when they started dating.

“A lifetime ago,” Steve would always say, his eyes lighting up and his face flushing slightly.

After the night that Steve learned he passed the bar, Y/N and Steve’s relationship didn’t change all that much, mostly because they acted like they were married in the first place. They already help hands in public, gave each other kisses on the cheek when their friends were around, and they acted more domesticated than a lot of actual married couples only months after they officially started dating.

In fact, most of their friends didn’t even realize they had started dating until almost six months later, Y/N made an off-hand comment about how Steve was secretly really kinky in bed.

The really didn’t have an engagement either.

After two years of dating, five years of living together, and nine years of knowing each other, Steve just decided to get straight to the point.

“You wanna get married, Y/N?” Steve asked her. He had just come back from his job as a corporate lawyer. He honestly hated it but needed the experience and the money to pay off his student loans. His grand plan after he was no longer drowning in debt was to become an Assistant District Attorney.

Y/N stopped cutting the vegetables and turned toward Steve who was leaning against the fridge, suit jacket slung across one shoulder and top button his dress shirt undone. She raises a brow at him, “Pardon me?”

“You wanna get married?” he repeats nonchalantly.

“Now? I’m making dinner.”

“Whenever you want, doll.”

She sets the knife down and slowly walks towards him. “This isn’t you proposing, is it?” she cackles.

Steve shakes his head and laughs, meeting her halfway. “No, I thought of this while I was riding the subway back home. I don’t even have a ring, honey,” he explains. “If I’m honest, it feels like we’ve been married for the past five years, so I kinda forgot that we aren’t.”

Y/N purses her lips in concentration before saying, “That’s fair.”

Steve stares at her for a few more seconds, “So…?”

“Do you want to get married?” she asks him this time, stepping forward and grasping his hands.

“I mean…yeah,” Steve says with a grin, “Telling people you’re my wife is a lot cooler than telling people you’re my girlfriend. Besides, if I ever commit a crime, you have the right not to testify against me because of marital privilege—”

He’s cut off with howling laughter and Y/N burying her face into his chest as he wraps his arms around her. Steve’s tired, really tired, but coming home to her was what he reminded himself he was working for.

“Should we do the whole proposal thing, too?” Y/N asks him after her laughter dies down.

“I don’t mind proposing if it’s something you want to do,” he tells her, pressing his lips to her head.

“Meh. I don’t really care,” she says cheekily before pressing her lips to his.

After their wedding—just like Y/N and Steve predicted—their lives didn’t change all too much. The only noticeable changes were that they were being addressed as Y/L/N-Rogers in the mail, but their lives were pretty much the same.

Their friends found it fascinating: when they had gotten married, they felt that their relationship dynamic had changed a little. But then again, they supposed Steve and Y/N had been acting like they’ve been married since the ripe age of twenty. It’s almost like they skipped a few steps in their relationship and went from friends to acting like they’ve been married for forty years.

The biggest change in their relationship came three years after their wedding when their twins, Avery and Jameson Y/L/N-Rogers were born into the world.

Steve and Y/N were natural parents and they loved their kids. When the twins were three, they took them on their first road trip to the Adirondacks. They spent the weekend at a lakefront cabin, swimming, canoeing, and hiking. When asked years later, the twins would always explain that this was their first memory. At four, the twins started school, and to say Y/N and Steve were worried would be a huge lie. They knew Avery and Jameson would protect each other no matter what. At age seven, a boy on the playground called Avery an ‘ugly liar’, and Jameson threw sand in his face. Steve gave Jameson a scolding about how it was bad to throw sand at people and instead saying that if he was going to throw something, throw a punch instead.

Y/N had to step in and tell him not to do that unless it was a last resort.

At twelve, Jameson had his first real crush on a girl named Mindy. But, Avery knew that Mindy was mean and the daughter of an entitled Karen, so when Jameson asked Mindy if she wanted to dance with her at the school dance, Avery made sure to scare her straight.

“My daddy is a lawyer and sends criminals to prison and my mommy works for the New York Times. So, if you hurt James, everyone will know how mean you actually are are,” Avery threatened, which made Mindy back out of dancing with Jameson. Despite being mad when he was twelve, he was thankful years later when he saw firsthand what kind of teenager Mindy would become.

Now at sixteen, though the two twins were still thick as thieves, they matured into respectable, and frankly perfect kids.

That year, the Fourth of July (aka Steve’s birthday) fell the same night as movie night and the twins took it upon themselves to plan their dad’s party.

“Avery? James? You doin’ alright?” Y/N called from the upper floor of their brownstone in Park Slope, Brooklyn. When it was obvious that Avery and Jameson were at the age that they couldn’t share a bedroom anymore, Steve convinced Y/N to move back to Brooklyn. It wasn’t the difficult, per se, especially when Steve found a place close to where Natasha and her now-husband Bruce lived.

“Doin’ just fine, Mom!” Avery calls back. She was busy frosting the good-old Stars and Stripes cake while James finished the last-minute decorations.

Just then, Y/N heard a thud before some soft moaning. She gasped, already halfway down the stairs. “Are you okay? Do you need help? Screw your surprise, I’m com—”

“No!” James shouted, quickly sitting up, “I just fell off a stool, Mom. No big deal, you don’t need to come downstairs.”

“Are you su—”

“Yep! This is supposed to be a surprise!” James calls back.

“A surprise for your dad, not for me Jameson.”

Avery cackles from the kitchen and James rolls his eyes at her. “We’re fine, I promise,” he reassures her.

“Okay, just be done before everyone gets here. Bucky’s stalling your dad for as long as possible but I know he’ll want to come home soon.”

When Y/N is finally allowed downstairs, she’s impressed with their work. Red, white, and blue streamers are hung all across the ceiling as well as helium balloons that say ‘Happy Birthday America!’ except America is crossed out with Sharpie and ‘Steve Rogers’ is written in her kids’ handwriting instead. In the living room, several games are put out on the coffee table and a playlist full of patriotic movies is ready to be played on the TV. All her friends (minus Bucky and Steve) are in the living room, having a laugh at all the funny touches on the decorations. Their dining table was filled with food their friends brought for the potluck, and for some reason, James had blasted (and looped) a remix of the Star-Spangled Banner and Happy Birthday.

“Do you like it, Mom?” Y/N hears before turning around and facing her kids. Avery’s hand was grasped in James’ and her heart melts. How did I get so lucky? she asks herself.

She gives them a huge smile before enveloping both of them into a hug. “It’s amazing. Better than anything I could’ve done, that’s for sure.”

“Do you think, Dad’ll like it?” James mumbles into her shoulder.

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT!” a voice suddenly shouts. The three pull apart to find Steve standing at the entrance of the living room with a huge grin on his face. Bucky stands behind him, chuckling at his reaction.

Y/N’s smile widens at the sight of her husband. “There’s your answer, James.”

The party is everything Steve could have really asked for. The food was great, his company was even better, and the thoughtfulness of his kids was enough to bring tears to his eyes.

When the night gets darker, the party of people head to the roof of the building so they can watch the fireworks. As they wait, Avery has everyone engrossed in a story of how James followed her on a date with a boy she really liked, Peter Parker. Steve stood at the edge of the crowd, smiling at how happy his kids and his wife looked. He feels a presence beside him and doesn’t need to look to know who it is.

“You did pretty great, Steve,” Bucky tells him softly.

“With Avery and James?” he asks.

“With life, buddy.”

Steve hums contently as the two of them watch Avery cause a bubble of laughter to erupt from the group. James punches her playfully on the arm, but the smile is still evident on his face.

“How’s Steph?” Steve asks him.

“She’s good. She’s with her mom for the weekend,” Bucky answers quietly.

“And how are you and Dolores?”

Bucky is silent for a few seconds. He clears his throat before saying, “Talking. We’re trying to work it out for Steph’s sake. She doesn’t deserve to have a broken family.”

Steve puts a hand on his shoulder. “You don’t give yourself enough credit, Buck. You’re a good father,” he tells his best friend.

Bucky remains silent. After a few minutes of silence, Bucky’s conscious drowns him in guild and he speaks up, “I kissed Y/N when we were younger. It was the night you learned you passed the bar. I told her I thought I made a mistake marrying Dolores, and shit…I don’t even know what I was thinking because I knew she probably loved you. I’m so sorry, Steve. I never told you because you’re my best friend and—”

“Bucky,” Steve cuts him off with a small, sympathetic smile, “It’s okay. I know.”

Bucky’s brows shoot up. “You know?” he asks.

Steve nods, “Y/N told me. Y/N tells me everything.”

Bucky exhales, “Ah.”

“I’m not mad,” Steve tells him.

“You’re not?”

“I am married to her and still best friends with you, aren’t I?”

Bucky chuckles and looks down. He doesn’t deserve Steve, Bucky thinks. But he’s damn grateful a guy like him is in his life. “I’m still sorry,” he says.

“It’s okay, Bucky. I mean it,” Steve says, giving his shoulder a squeeze.

The two stand in comfortable silence when the fireworks finally start to go off. The roof glows with red light and Steve can’t help but admire how beautiful Y/N looks with the glow of light on her skin. Avery has her head on Y/N’s shoulder while Jameson has an arm wrapped around her torso. Steve notices Bucky admiring his family too.

“You know,” Steve starts, “she loved you when we were younger. I actually thought the two of you would be great together and wanted her to ask you out. She was about to.”

Bucky looks at him. “Really,” he asks suspiciously.

“Mhmm,” Steve hums, still looking at the fireworks. “And did you?”

“Did I what?”

“Love her?”

Bucky is silent. He stares at Steve’s side profile; he’s still staring up at the fireworks without a care in the world.

Bucky sighs and answers honestly, “All throughout college, even when I was with Dolores. But guessing by your reaction, I think you already knew that.”

Steve finally glances in his direction, “I’m your best friend. Of course, I knew.”

“Did I ever have a chance with her?”

“Yeah,” Steve says, finally looking at Bucky, “once you did.”

Bucky sighs, “How’d you do it? How’d you find someone you love so naturally?”

Steve shakes his head, his eyes trained on his wife and his kids. They looked so happy, living in their own little bubble. Steve smiles softly before saying, “I stuck around.”

Bucky nods wordlessly before turning his attention back to the fireworks above. Steve continues to stare at his family when Y/N turns around and catches his gaze. Despite the night sky, her eyes are bright and filled with joy and love.

Steve smiles widely at her.

And in their own imperfect, but beautiful bubble, Y/N smiles back.

---

steve rogers taglist: @milea

62 notes · View notes

caandlelit · 6 years

Text

dabihawks...wait for it....fake dating au

this is actually so appropriate

no ones done this

but u all know exactly whats coming

(hawks is a scholarship student sent to a high class college bc the board got jealous of this really smart kid’s quote unquote ‘wasted potential’)

(dabi is a rich abusive business man’s eldest rebellious punk rock son)

so. hawks is walking to his next lecture when he sees a flyer on a noticeboard

“HELP. I am in need of a fake boyfriend to help me piss off my homophobic father when i go home for a family dinner. bonus points if you’re a delinquent and blatantly, ridiculously homosexual. payment in the best cookies you will ever have in your entire life”

*hawks voice* sounds like my kinda gig

he contacts him straight away

‘im always ready to piss off homophobes’

he meets up with dabi to discuss details at some hipster coffee shop called “tomuras’”

and immediately thinks

‘fuck hes hot’

yeah he has weirdass burns on his face what about it

he has a deep sexy voice and tattoo sleeves and so many piercings hhh

and dabi sees him and immediately thinks

“aw hell fucking yeah he looks so gay and twinky I really hit the jackpot”

bc hawks is literally perfect for this

he has red wing tattoos on his shoulder blades

constantly wears rainbow patterned tanks and halter tops in order to show off the afore mentioned tattoos

and has multiple snapbacks that say ‘IM GAY’ one of which he is currently wearing

does that not scream homosexual

dabi is fucking delighted

okay so they have to work out the details of their ‘relationship’

dabis like, what do u think would have happened for us to kiss kiss fall in love

‘okay so I was thinking that it would have happened at a shitty hipster coffee shop, and I dont wanna name an actual coffee shop so lets just make one up lets call it like tomura’s or smth-’

dabi sNORTS

*distant shigaraki voice from behind the counter* fUCK OFF YOU BITCH ITS NOT HIPSTER OR SHITTY

‘yEAH IT IS GO FUCK YOURSELF’

*coughs* ‘anyways.’

dabis looking at him so fondly he’s in LOVE

‘you turned around with ur coffee and bumped into me, and you thought I was so hot that u spilled it all over me‘

dabi: *deadpans* I dunno man I feel like it’d be the other way around im way hotter than you

hawks: *whispers* hell fucking yeah you are holy shit those arms are killing me

*amused dabi voice* what

*panicked, painfully cracking hawks voice* nothing

they go with hawks’ story

bc in dabis words

“its so gay he’‘ll hate it”

when the day of the family dinner arrives hawks is super worried that he’ll end up not being sweet enough to rei or mix up dabi’s sibling’s names or ‘not be gay enough’

dabis lying on his dorm bed and watches lazily till he gets tired of hawks freaking out and throws a pillow at him to shut him up

gay pillowfight montage

they hit each other with hawks’ obnoxiously big pillows till feathers are flying everywhere and theyre giggling breathlessly

queue gay moment

hawks ‘hey we should practice kissing’

“mhm we have to perfect it so its believable yknow”

‘so can we make out now’

‘yeah lets just get right into-mmph!”

dabi and hawks end up half and hour later then they were supposed to

id say they were looking rumpled as all hell

but honestly thats dabis default

and its bold of you to assume hawks wouldn't waste even more time getting ready

hes wearing a pink tank top that says ’blatantly homosexual’ and skinny jeans

dabis wearing a leather jacket with many many many pride pins of the bisexual variety and a queen t-shirt

gotta stick to them “dabi listens to mainstream rock music” roots

(hawks suggested he dye his hair pink purple blue but he ultimately decides against it much to hawks’ disappointment)

so they come in and meet rei

her hugs are amazing and make hawks feel so small and protected and cocooned in her warmth is this what a parent feels like

fuyumi; hello if you hurt my brother I will eviscerate you

hawks: dw id eviscerate me too

fuyumi, grudgingly: good answer welcome to the family

dabi blushin rn

natsuo: hey big bro, hawks bro *fistbumps*

shouto: *chugs gatorade and t-poses* sup’

hawks: wh

*dabi voice* o h m y g o d I said just dont freak out my boyfriend thats all I asked of u assholes and what do you do you go and freak out my boyfriend I am disowning all of you-

hawks is staring at him with motherfucking heart-eyes

and then the whole happy everything is destroyed by endeav*r coming back from work

dabi slings and arm around hawks waist and ignores his blush, insufferably smug

”hello father this is my homosexual boyfriend we are homosexual and have homosexual sex”

hawks belatedly realizes that shit, he really likes it when dabi calls him his boyfriend which is a problem bc theyre not actually dating

so hes lowkey freaking out on the inside

but he still plays his part to perfection

‘thankyou for being so accommodating, let me take ur jacket sir, ill put it next to my rainbow colored one over here’

endeavor is so pissed

and its glorious

dabi is beside himself with glee at the dinner table as he is surrounded by his siblings

natsuo slurping soba loudly while staring directly at his dickhead dad

and his mom is aloofly tuning them all out while in intense conversation with his sister about how society is bullshit and businessmen are disgusting

while fuyumi is sneakily scratching her fork against her plate to make a screeching sound which makes endeavores eye twitch every twenty seconds

and he is sitting next to and playing footsie under the table with his newly discovered love of his life

whom he should probably

definitely

ask out after this whole thing

who is seemingly oblivious to endivores glaring and talking to him about how he’s so happy that he accepts his son for being gay and being generally so supportive of ‘us faggots’

endthevore is fuming and its fantastic

dabi intertwines his fingers with hawks and smiles and continues where he left off in his one sided conversation with shouto whos nodding and slurping determinedly (*wipes tear* ”i taught him well”) about the homosexual agenda as hawks silently tries to appear as if hes not having a heart attack beside him

#dabihawks #bnha #dabi #hawks #hotwings #dabi is touya #mha #hc #//endeavor #todoroki shouto

2K notes · View notes

hermannsthumb · 6 years

Note

Hi I‘m having a really awful day and I was wondering if you had any sweet Newmann hcs (not involving death please)

DO I EVER!!! i hope these cheer you up!

the first time newt sees hermann smile (over some really dumb joke newt tells at work one day) he almost knocks over his work bench because WOW. after that he starts going out of his way to make hermann smile so he can see it again (it’s a short-lived experiment when hermann gets suspicious and starts accusing newt of having broken something expensive and trying to play innocent by being Too Nice)

after the war when rationing officially ends and newt can finally eat fast food and junk again he puts on some weight and hermann absolutely loves his soft husband

THEY STEAL EACH OTHER’S CLOTHES ALL THE TIME……newt steals hermann’s sweaters when he’s cold and his pajamas when hermann’s out of town for some reason and he misses him. hermann steals newt’s t-shirts to wear around their place and has appropriated at least two of newt’s old hoodies as his own

newt has mastered the art of carrying hermann bridal-style (for peak romance)

newt has also mastered the art of dip-kissing hermann

when they get jobs as professors after the war they teach an interdisciplinary course together (listen. im in humanities and we have them there so im obviously going to project this onto stem. my city now) and all their students for that class assume they have a TERRIBLE UNHAPPY MARRIAGE because they shout at each other so much but the second their disciplines or research aren’t involved they’re the most sappy romantic couple and their students will see newt and hermann staring lovingly at each other and holding hands on campus and just ???

hermann is the handsy one actually. newt is affectionate OBVIOUSLY but hermann? hermann’s always playing with newt’s hair or snuggling up to him on the couch or in bed or (mildly nsfw here) grabbing newt’s ass when newt tries to make coffee in the morning or cook dinner (which immediately derails the coffee or dinner. entire meals have perished to hermann’s handsiness)

continuing from this they’re both SUCH an ego boost to each other because they’re both just so INTO the other. newt feels like the sexiest guy ever because hermann’s always touching him and kissing him, hermann feels like the sexiest guy ever because newt’s so enthusiastic about and responsive to everything and always calling hermann hot

when they get married they go out of their way to refer to the other as their husband. restaurants (oh i made reservations for me and my HUSBAND) and at work (if you take my HUSBAND’S class/oh this coffee? my HUSBAND bought it for me)

they’re defensive of each other to the point of it being silly. (hermann may pretend he’s professional but he’s Not.) they can nitpick and flat-out tear down each other’s work (see earlier “the second their disciplines aren’t involved” point) but the second someone else does? they’ll nearly destroy careers over defending each other’s research/character.

in the overlap between when newt still had his band and newt and hermann still wrote to each other newt definitely wrote a bunch of songs about his crush on a Mysterious Handsome Unnamed Penpal and casually sent links of his band performing them (at shitty open mic nights and the like). hermann always wanted to believe they were about him but he was never Sure and was too embarrassed/flustered to ask

newt’s a little space heater which is perfect for his always-cold husband. less perfect for newt, who has to deal with ice hands being shoved up the back of his shirt in the middle of the night (he complains but he never actually means it because he loves being close with hermann)

back when the shatterdome was still Mildly bustling there was a period of time when newt and hermann had to not only share a lab but a bedroom too. shitty twin beds college dorm style with only just enough room to get around or bunkbeds, your pick. so much pining……so much UST/URT…..so many lovelorn glances when the other wasn’t looking……

hermann’s phone wallpaper is newt kissing his cheek

they both think the other is like the pinnacle of the Perfect Man hermann looks at that dirty little gremlin man throwing alien guts around like yes…..i want him forever…..hermann’s covered in chalk 24/7 and does laundry only when he’s absolutely run out of clean shirts and newts like heart eyes

i maintain their first kiss (or first kiss with acknowledged romantic intent because i do kinda hc they hooked up a bunch at the shatterdome) is right after hermann says he’ll drift with newt and they hold hands because they’re both really excited you know?? maybe so excited hermann just GOES FOR IT

stuff newt routinely calls hermann in a semi-joking (but really not joking at all) way that makes hermann very flustered: stud, hot stuff/hottie, big guy (this one on account of hermann having Nice Arms and being 2 inches taller). or when they’re getting hot and heavy he drops a casual “ohhh dr gottlieb-geiszler” and hermann’s brain short-circuits (see point re: referring to the other as their husband as much as possible)

they wear matching ugly patterned shirts on their honeymoon

after they drift they get even better at non-verbal communication and can know what the other is thinking with like the tiniest little glance/chance in facial expression

i can and will add more if you only request it

#newmann #headcanon tag #ask #Anonymous #forgot to tag #long post //#SRY

196 notes · View notes

nocancer · 5 years

Text

Tryna by Cancer moon

Before Young T went to bed he poured a glass of water and looked out the kitchen window to his backyard and noted how the snow made 3:00 A.M. look like 6:00 P.M.. Only difference being that if he stepped outside with his glass of water to the seeming twilight he wouldn’t be able to hear the rush-hour traffic like he usually could if it was Friday and 6:00 P.M.. Young T didn’t bother going outside because the snow was still falling a little and it’d be there when he woke up. And the neighborhood would still be silent, as it always was.

Young T woke up and his fan was still humming its white noise which he needed to sleep at night even though it was January and his dad was reluctant to leave the heat on over night. The small fan sat on his dresser and was pointed away from his bed towards his window which emitted a sharper and more blinding afternoon light than what he was used to. He checked his phone for the time, it was about noon - about the time where his parents bedroom door would open and their TV would blast the local news and his persian cat, Jo Jo, would meow at his door from which would force him out of bed to open the door so Jo Jo could jump up on his bed to sleep on his pillow from which he would either start his day or keep doing nothing. This time he laid back down, idly on his bed, with the covers pulled over his head to lessen the effects of his slight cat allergy. Jo Jo had a flat face and was grey and fat, and he occupied the entire pillow. Young T thought of how he wanted to trade lives with Jo Jo.

Young T couldn’t fall back to sleep, so he looked at his phone. He bireifly looked at worldstarhiphop, Twitter, then Instagram.

Then he went to bed with a head ache and woke up in college.

9/27/17 wednesday

Tycho: excuse me, hey, getting along just fine, I see? Yolandra: hey, and yeah, sort of, just studying, whats going on with you T: Nothing, the usual, i guess, being responsible, trying not to offend anyone. Y: Oh but you're so innocent. If anyone's offended its on them, not you. T: But my presence alone, I dont know, like I'm out of place or something. And I just want to tell people, Yeah, so, I know how strange it is, me being here and all. Y: You're a free spirit amongst prisoners. That was my favorite part about getting to know you.

Tycho: After all these years, not for a second did i think you were right for me. And thats why i liked you. Cus I'm crazy. Yolandra: thats okay? what do you mean?, i want to get inside your head again. T: [pause] Most people wouldnt understand. Y: Don't be too cool for school. Im not most people. If I knew what was good for me, I'd have cut ties with you a long time ago. But im a crazy bitch too. Havent you realized? T: Yes. Youre highly psychic when it comes to "free spirits" like me - and you, though maybe, "lost soul" would be a better term for me. Though I dont mind being lost. It keeps things interesting. Anyway, you should spend your energy on solving world hunger than worrying about me. Y: dont be so difficult. catching vibes isnt easy you know? coming for your type. Who knows, maybe youre worth it. Tycho: well, your the first to try me like this. im mysterious for a reason. Yolandra: And do you know why exactly? T: Thats for me to decide. Y: It's so damn frustrating. But I guess some things are better left unsaid. T: Most people wouldnt understand that, what youre saying. Indescribable feelings we know happened but fall short in explaining. That sort of thing. Y: I call those. "You had to be there" moments. Tycho: Honestly i never gave up on you, only myself, thinking you were different from my dream girl. it took months for me to realize that but when i did the only thing i wanted to do was forget i ever met you. Yolandra: than what? T: the rest of these simple people that surround us, they see in a way thats opposite of what i am. Y: how convenient it must be. to blame your problems on people you dont even know. and just say "fuck it." I envy you. T: just my luck haha. of being born into myself, my personality forgive me, i dont mean to be such a downer. thats my ego talking Y: you had to be there T: where? Y: in my memories. T: it matters that much to you? Y: if I could find you in a crowd, just to say something, anything, even if i have to scream it in your ear, then you'd know how much it means to me. Tycho: I'll be waiting for you to say hola.

9/30/17 saturday In the midst of an obnoxious trap beat I remember what my grandpa used to tell me. It's the harsh realities of life that stick with us the most. A dream is only a dream until you make it come true. Never hit a women no exceptions." He would say to a 7 year old me. Now I wish I had the balls back then to tell him that his strict army ass probably never had a dream that went beyond what he already knew. Like revisiting the same shitty cloud of meaningless thoughts every night till you reincarnate into someone who revisits a slightly less shitty cloud over and over until they become someone like me, who lives on the cloud everyone strives to be, forgetting those elvish looking folks of the below who never leave the house except to get groceries. There's comes a point in life where you just gotta be honest with yourself, and say hey, i just dont match the freqeuncy anymore. It's okay. I can still pretend like that one MGMT song, but im fading away. Fuck. I get naseous and imagine a cop coming around the corner which kills my vibe for a second so I take my headphones off, spit on my finger tip, ash the blunt, and walk to my dorm. I'm in water so muddy that the surface is all I have to cling onto. What lies beneath is my past, housing the memories like demons. Of course, her face, would be in the middle. Falling more faintly in detail as I wake up sober and go to sleep high and dream nonsense that somehow doesnt go away like the usual forgotten dream you usually wouldnt give a second thought to otherwise but this morning my head feels foggy and theres a vague recollection of a search going on but I dont know what it's for and my chances of knowing diminish as I go deeper into the day. A search, it's on repeat, like my brain is an actual TV. Thats probably a normal thought to have, though I've never heard it in real words. "Is my brain a TV." I say to myself. if you can call it that. but those take the shape of monsters of which, as if I had no choice, I find myself preparing for so when the moment really matters, I can either go down in a blaze of glory or come out on top like the badass I imagine myself to be. All I know is that I was born and now I have to live.

Maybe because my past is so glaringly depicted onto a person I refuse to acknowledge. All that shit was a dream. The only thing that matters is the present, right? Bill Nye the Science Guy would agree with that. Back in elementary whenever we had a sub for the day, a cart would roll in and thats how you knew. I watched his show in elementary school, when we had a substitute teacher. Those were the best days. I had no worries then, able to speak freely with no inhibitions as if duality had nothing to latch its mechanical claws onto. Wait, I'm thinking about the past again. And thats going way back. Fuck! Okay.. On your feet soldier! That baby momma drama dont fly out here in the real world. out here it's the winners and the losers, haves and the have-nots, thats the way it is.

We're here to endure anxiety. I dont care about this slave shit. I think im gonna drop out. These fucking people bro, I shouldve known better than to come here. Deep down in the recesses of my highly realized capacity for recognizing everyday objects I'm hearing the voice my computer makes. It just so happens that I'm a little different from everyone else. I see things. Feel them. Some are expressed. Others proccessed. Though most get put away for later. These things I speak of is all they'll ever be to Some bad. Some good. But in the end I understand the root cause is nothing and thats where I pretty much exist anyway. In between any and all things, including people. At least that what it feels like. So although I may come off as shy and maybe a bit soft to the average layperson I aint no bitch and I wont hesitate to put my body on the line to make some headway when it comes to cementing my place as a savage demon in the halls of said layperson's memory bank. Someone who is wise would recognize the virtue of my conviction It is only because I must prepare for that singular moment, an unknown point in the fabric of time and space. To where if theyre not careful, a life's worth of energy should be pitted against me as if one were to stand a chance against the power housed within my vessle. Theres no such thing as a polite gesture. Nobody asks me how my day is "going" for no other reason than to relay to me how their own special day is "going". reckoning between a humble acknowledgement that I can never truly grasp the reason for existing and therefor should play my part in keeping the peace, versus pure badass in a world of sheep. And the more I get to know my surroundings, the more I reach erradically for the inherent bliss found within the path of satanism.

000t333g922276888o

Spmewhere off in the distance, Crermoth sits on a palm tree idly sculpting astral suspensions into a tattered fervor of mesh for working the keys of ineptitude. She is oblivious to her surroundings, not caring for chatty and gossip which she cant seperate between her reality and theirs because she is sensitive and when the the fully recognized sage, Esoh, confronts her about she says she much prefers it that way.

Their balance among them. With the wind at her side, Hojihka refuses the initial preference of her stillness and moves in a nameless precession by the whim of her ancestral birth right. "aaa may-ee soo shay-noo"

Her possession wakes up without a name. a new and more elaborate transposition of jubilee onto each successive indifference. The attention to one area renders the outer confines a vacuum enveloping the excess span unto both of their liable to taken over like a plain, sole, unconscious will. It certainly does its job Crermoth and has become something of a plan b pill thats taken during one of her many unpredictable episodes of self hate and general spiritual torment. One time she told J-Money she was a demon in a matter of factness that still haunts J-Money in moments when he pretends it doesnt bother him.. Reliant upon the interaction of her world and the next. Crermoth normally prefers being to herself on nights like these, that way she can answer any calls at a moments notice. A dimension close enough so that she may assist her friends in earthly manners of which, by the natural law of limitation, those lacking the incessant nobility of the Orisha cannot be bothered to see to themselves, less the tether between her world and theirs be rendered a useless tattered fervor of mesh that gives way to any varitable knock of an over arching brood of usurpment of the mundane frequency. “I need space. I only have but so much light of see to her calling as a being of light, assisting the pieces of herself that we’re lost during the falling. You remember that don’t you?” She says “Of course I remember. But only as a matter of fact. Upon closer reflection I fail to see the relevance of a subtle hunch with no bearings in the present.”

I must know that I’m allowed to be straight up with you, else I run the risk of straying from my calling. If there’s anything I hate more than being ignored its catching myself being lazy to the voices. “She musn’t veer to far.” Esoh said on a mountain.

999c4477P72222cv555566

The woman wakes up to look around. Store-bought soil, empty bike-rack, office building. "Harder. Think harder. Come on girl." She stands for dignity's sake. A car traces a hilltop in the distance. She raises her cold arms to the sun in defiance of stillness. Nothing is in tune with the nature of her being besides the stale wind of a coming day. "Where are you?" The car freezes as it reaches the horizon, but the sound remains on loop. Whirrrrr A portal manifests abruptly and Elegua arrives on a chariot of skulls. "Erzulie, madame, how nice it is to see you this early in the morning." A whisp of fire cleans her face and the car continues over the horizon. "It really shouldnt be, not like this. Where Im at should tell a lot you know." Erzulie said. "Quite a dense reply to a longtime friend, dont you think" "Hmm, considering how I slept in a bush last night and dont remember a thing. I shouldnt need to explain myself." "No? is the friz on your hair not matching the blood on your knees? I can't tell which." Elegua said. Or is the attitude possessing you as if theres no consequence for ill-manneredness? I cant tell which." So long as one's not so dense up his selfish ass that he aint notice." "Oh so now all a sudden you about the finer things in life? We can switch places less you miss me. Erzulie said. Im only pointing out the obvious." Elegua said. Erzulie replied with silence, forcing life to flash before his eyes. She learned this from her Mother, Darkness. "Attitude is possessing you. I cant tell why but its a poison I dont deserve. I was only trying to help" He continued. "I just dont fuck with being called too early. So long as youre not too dense up your ass to take notice, safe to say i'm in some shit right now." "Clearly. A product of consequence." Elegua said randomly. "Yeah, recognize. Please, for me, baby?" "No more testing your patience, Goddess immortal of justice. Save that for what I came to tell you about." "Take me to cleanliness, saintly promise of wisdom. For im not feeling myself." They left the scene to the past and pondered on the pyramid they had just made with each other. "It's nice to be home." Erzulie said. Flying over the palm trees brought Elegua back to his power. "On the basis of love." Elegua said. The salt-water washed away all glimpses of doubt Erzulie had of her beauty. And she harnessed the pastels of the ocean. Thus, all guilt was abolished and unconditional love was convinced to dance within them. Drying his body under the rays of Amen reminded Elegua of his first words. Long ago, before Time was born. "O Father, you are so brilliant." "Thank you, son. I am the Light" "Then tell me, Father, if you are the Light, and are so brilliant, then why is it you flee from Darkness?" "All I do is my purpose, which seeks to balance harmony with creation. Although it is much more complicated than that. Like always I suppose. I'm afraid you ask me a question that I cannot answer. Here, because you are so curious, I will show you." "I'm ready, Father." Light grew brighter causing Elegua to cry in his recollection of what it felt like to say words. The links in his mind straining to pull in the right words. Not too plain to where the moment would be lost in happen stance, and not too radical so that his manhood could stay irrefutable (to convey meaning.) Then Light disintegrated into everything and Elegua searched for Light ever since. So Elegua went to the crossroads, and prodded Darkness for Light's wherabouts, "I want to relive the the moments before he left for eternity. Where can I find him?" Without a hug or a kiss, she told him to let go of his experience in order to live in the now, "Take his place and move forward. Grow up, your Daddy's gone cus you never did." "How could you say that me? I love you, Mom. Yet all I get is hate. Why are you hiding the truth from me?" "If I don't hate you, then who will? You got so much to learn that my heart breaks into brass. You must leave, understand me? LEAVE, before I do what your Father did and them some. I'm this close. Believe me." With nowhere else to go, Elegua obeyed the commands of his Mother. Although lonely at first, the spirits of the dead related to his despair, and offered to guide him through all the known and unknown realms of Ether, so long as he guided the spirits of the living to his Mother. So that the dead could learn for themselves the origins of their being dead. And when Light came back, they could say "Father, we know of Hate, now teach us Love." Elegua tried telling them that it was hopeless, that his Father was there, just not in the way they imagined, that they we're actually his Father and they had to realize it through an altered perception. but that negativity only made them more adament to their cause which annoyed Elegua into a manic spell of existential irony which persisted during times of war with the Snakes on 5th density. One battle in particular Badly wounded, he pulled his chariot with his arms to the middle of a corn-field on a full-moon during the Solstice, it was there he made a pact with his self, to never be ignorant to the fact that fate was an inescapable constant within all contributors to existence. That the very fabric that distinguishes the dead from the living was comprised of scattered shards of an indestructable essence that attached itself to the spirit-body via fate which is the Father of destiny. That the collective conscious is woven by the thread of Fate, thus binding a common goal, or Destiny, inherent to all beings of both polarities, thus setting in motion the spiral of gnosis, which lends itself to the spreading of keys that open the doors to helping each other fulfill each others Purpose. "I will collect the pieces of my Father so that I may speak with him again as I did as a child. I will never forget you because I love you. You are everything to me, which is all I ever could be. Please, I want to know why you flee in the face of Darkness."

____10/9/17 monday

My pace quickens as I veer away from the crowd onto the handicap stairs. I silently count my steps to give off a pensive, non-assuming vibe. Over by the quad theres crows just walking on the grass. Yet I'm the only one who seems to notice, even from a distance. The busses haul ass down Memorial St. I've learned to always be on alert because I'll never know whats waiting for me when I turn my attention off the floor and become reminded of string theory. Artificial energy, cork boards with grime on the edges, tunnel of dull ends, spongy plywood cielings. as i step with my head down and in every so sudden a demarcation in the bricks, the reptiles answer emails. This is where I'm going. Because my soul chose to live here at some point in time not too long ago considering the relationship between all that the universe has to offer and my general apathy towards said all as in any and all one. Which has become quite of a bore ever since the first week ended I had to come to terms with the reality that friends won't simply fall into my lap like they would if I wasnt such a masochist for being lonely. The row of pillars turn to one and all I see is the contentment in the air of the lobby. In the hallway are casually turned faces which glide about in a linear fashion like the ghost of a lost bride.. I get a side-view of the people afraid to admit that this is far from the paradise we expected it to be. The brochure in our acceptance letters didn't include the drunken nights of another dimension. I'm inside the life of an architect. One who's dead by now, but lives on through his work. I'm not going anywhere, the building would say, if it could talk. And I suppose it can. Because I just had the thought, and nothing is ever truly wrong without another thought to compare it to. But then if buildings could speak existed first, and was allowed to grow and find its place in the universe, then it'd be established enough to not warrant an adversary. But the question remains where, if it existed, was its fate organized before coming into my mind, awaiting my final judgement. Substitute me for a unicellular collective conscious and it seems like we're all dealers of fate her on planet earth of the milky way of the universe of the whatever comes next (should we ever know for sure). he or she deserves all the credit for it manifesting onto the grid of my consciousness, which is a zig zag joint's worth of a high right now. The perfect amount for not giving a fuck while still staying slick enough for witty comebacks. Which wouldn't hurt right now. This building isn't going anywhere. Though I wish it would. Because I dread what I'm about to do How he must have pained to communicate something he could call his own while maintaining a dignified and safe, always safe, because god forgive, well, you know, , putting the pen to the pad, drawing collumns in front of a Victorian fassad Succumbing to authority just to eat with a roof over your head and not freeze your ass off like a homeless freak. Profit margins in the final half of quarter one are lower than 1 standard deviation to what is considered by corporate to be optimal. As of now, the college has no incentive to ship in product from outside sources. All inventory must be stored in house to the buyer's demand. You better not be late.

___ On the parking deck

Tycho: “I had a dream I was on an internet forum. Someone posted the words: “life is an endless hell. With a blurry picture of a street at night-time. Not much different from what’s in front of us. I thought that made sense, until I scrolled down, to see a video looking out the windshield of a vintage rolls royce, coasting along a pacific highway. And the lines kept going. Next thing you know I’m falling down a pitch black waterslide, dreading my destination. If I never woke up I have a funny feeling i know where it was leading.

Preacher: In that instance did you feel the need to repent for your sins?

Tycho: No. that didn’t cross my mind. It was too late at that point.

Miranda: “I used to.

T: What made it stop?

Miranda: Seeing all the happy people around me. And knowing that they’ve been through the same shit. Break-ups, Death in the family, just generally feeling lost.

My heart was broken ”

T: Getting over the mind can be a dark place when it has nowhere else to rest. You can train it to think anything.”

Miranda: True

Tycho: Lately Ive been taking these long drives late at night into the boonies. Just to see where I up. I realized theres so many lives I’ll never know about.

If i wasnt born into money maybe I’d be humble enough to hate myself for even thinking such a thing.

How’d you get out of that?

Miranda:

These know it all professors are getting on my nerves. I fear Im crossing into an abyss I’ll never fully understand. Honestly I can’t fuckin stand these people. What name do I have to make for myself that i haven’t already experienced in the depths of my soul?

Tyco: You know how they try to act like they all official and shit, like I won’t see past it.

Miranda: [agreement] They do that.

Tyco: [stream of consciousness] So I just told her look I know its a rule, but I’m all about learning at my own pace and no disrespect i love her but Mrs. Soso can only go so far in telling me how to write. You can give tips and tricks but at the end of the day, I’ve been developed my writing style.. Like I thought we were done with all this high school shit. Well I didnt say that.

M: And what’d she say?

Tyco: She was like “As you get further into your major 90% of your assignments will be in essay format.. we require full participation “ At this im like she gonna hit me with the book like hell nah THEN outta nowhere She said “However, I also believe in 2nd chances.”. On the outside I was cool but inside I was like “*fist bump* yo i cannot fail outta college like someone watchin out for me idk who but-

Chad: fuck that shiiiiit *holds up white rum in front of street light”

Friend in background: 12! 12! 12!

Abrupt scene change. Camera shows Tyco zoned out. Then police car, as Tyco begins to hide behind the tree hes smoking on.

My black hoodie and phone-call to my dealer will still be with me tomorrow as I do the same thing.

(From a dream 10/23)

Tyco is driving around serving with Shantel when she lights her phone up from the passenger seat and puts the phone to her ear.

Shantel: You are not finna be talkin all that mess on my phone. Be honest with yourself. Don’t lie. You a hoe ass bitch.

?? Caller: Why are you even calling me? I dont give a fuck.

Shantel: Wait till I pull up then and slap the shit out you. Would that be better sweety?

?? Caller: I’m at Kawaii’s 30 deep. Bring your lil boyfriend and see what happens.

Shantel: Try me bitch.

[ The economy sedan turns right on red seemingly without breaking. ]

Tyco: 30 deep huh?

Shantel: With them ratchets.

Tyco: She sounds scared as hell aint nobody sticken up for her like that. You know they gonna talk shit right but soon as we throw them hands they gon be like, I dont know that bitch.

Shantel: nah but she stupid tho like not even worth all that extra

Tyco: We’re going. Wheres that nigga house i’ll waze that shit and we get there we just pop off. Aite?

[Not looking at the road, but to her, coasting down an average 2-lane with box neon trimmed tire shops and drive-thru windows governed stately as immovable beasts of mothership stores lurk behind low-sodium trenches of the new world order’s surveillence agenda for mass poplations en masse. ]

Just follow me. I’m walkin in and gonna start a commotion just bussin and you just break this bottle on her mother fuckin head and we out.

Shantel: haaah what okay

Tyco: You’re gonna fuck her shit up som serious.

Shantel: She talk shit about you.

Tyco: It’s in the stars babe for real.

Shantel: You gonna help me find that bitch?

Tyco: You my fucken queen I love you and I got you.

Neighborhood entrance.

Cars parked for miles.

House identified first glance.

Park.

Car doors..

Hip-Hop

Grass.

Walkway.

Steps.

Porch.

Door opens and yellow tops within the frame.

!! WHERE YOU AT// YALL FAKE AND CANT FINESSEE !!

AAAAAH YOU UGLY DARK SKINNED NIGROS

The caller is sitting on a couch ass to ass with other dudes. Looking stupid.

She never saw Shantel. Who came upon her like The Ring.

She has become a party magnet. It is a Slayer concert now. Nobody knows who’s who. Though Tyco is surely getting his ass beat. He catches of glimpse of Shantel’s fat ass ducking through the doorway and he could die right now and it wouldnt matter.

*GUN SHOT*

FUCK GOIN ON HERE MANE

“This not the place for you bro. - White boy comin up here in my place of business - Tryna pop shit off like you really not a bitch”

Kawaii looks up with his glock-9 extendo at his GD party mostly all gone just like that. The poor girl is still leaking.

“She need to go to the hospital.” Her friend says.

He points the glock at his head. Despair.

“Look around before I kill you.” An invitation.

Tycho: “I sold a 4 oz today after my accounting exam. I could be GD, 74, rock purp. whatever it be its nothing but Respect yo. Got connects with chad and Becky nahmean dog. Could put you on to some numbers they white and they fiends. Please OG.

“How much for a zip.”

“80, gas.”

“Was that yo bitch?”

“yea”

Kawaii: You lyin to me?

“No.”

“She eat your ass?”

“Yeah and bounce on my BIG ASS DICK” Tyco says with autism.

K walks away.

T: they don't even sell Molly bruh

K is you fucken high you dummies. Beat this nigga ass. *Tyco imagines the why the fuck you lyyin vine and remembers the exact moment he realized that wasnt an original song but actually a spin off of a classic throwback jam by the 90s R&B group “Next” in their hit single “Too Close”.. He was driving home from the cafe he used to write high school essays in while smoking a menthol american spirit with the windows rolled down on a spring evening playing KISS 104.1 Atlantas classic jams. Then he realized there was a full 6 minute video of the vine on youtube. After watching it he felt gayer. Thats all it did for him.

Tycho wakes up on living room floor.Terry (random G, on couch): *Hands him note× Kawaii said he's sorry. No hard feelings ya heard dog?

Tyco: I guess thugs act on impulse. *looks at note* and don't count on a gahdamn thing you bitchass motherfuckers. Tyco walks into class with a black eye. The Professor talks about interest loans. Tyco meets Moe after class in parking lot.

*Moe: Waddup

Tyco: It's lemon og I just got in.

Moe: Bet. Those last cookies you got. Bomb dude. It had them frar mother fuckers leanin like they can't handle that purp like that nahmean.*laughs*

Tyco: I got some backwoods you wanna hotbox.

Moe: Yo I'm down.

10/24/17 thursday

____ Last night I decided not to hate myself. The look I get from them doesnt bother me. Really, its a simple sign from nature that I’m used to by now. A wrong impression can sustain the fog of memory, of which I will be seen from the lens of another dimension, with not a care in the world, an angel in disguise. Thats the crux of my life up to this point. To no longer hate myself. But appear as if I still do. The nameless place in our past with no address., one of which even a frat boy can relate to. This invisible standard that’s thrown us into the pits of despair must be addressed. To seperate the real from the fake. Like the others are sleep walking through class fronting like they dont see me. The pyramid of perspective is an accordian overlayed on my third eye, televising scenes of sleep walkers who stay fronting like they dont see me. Walking behind the parking deck where green dumpsters were with my phone to my ear is a feeling that remains within me until I do the same thing over again in a few days. Buying in bulk never appealed to me. And if a 20 a g was the price thered be nothing my lonely ass could do. Fuck this worthless paper, I tell myself.

I tell myself. Anyone who catches my glimpse pauses for a split second, calibrating my own opinion of the why in life. A definition of nuance that was never meant to be expressed but felt. To sense what I’ve been wanting, free and alone, after all those wasted days.

I’m signalling. Though I havent been approached yet.

Figuring that would resolve the look I give other people. I mean, christ, I turned 18 last March. And spent the Summer in a last ditch effort to secure an identity before I made my plays in college. For too long I’ve avoided the call of the light and in return have gotten blank stares.

(SOMEHOW gets wrapped up into a petty conversation with sorirty girl (on top of parking deck.)

Clarissa: I was the only one alone in the entire party.

Tycho: Why didnt you leave?

T: Dont worry I dont wanna know your major.

C; Good cus it keeps changing.

T: You think you know everything dont you? This world aint nothin babe.

C: Why do you say that?

T: What do you wanna know? That I get money? Thats nothin.

Clarissa drifts off.

Hannah: So Stacy’s telling me the banners weren’t in that right place and we’re like an hour away from starting and we still haven’t even got the chairs in order and barely anyone who was suppose to be here has shown up yet.

Tycho: Where were they?

“Well for one, Candace, I dont know whats her problem lately, but shes been gone because her best-friends now telling her she’s not rushing anymore but thats honestly a relief because that girl wheres winged eyeliner and thinks shes better than us.”

Tycho: Oh, I think I’ve seen that girl at the library or something.

I intuit that in order to justify her reasoning for not liking the winged eyeliner girl, that she channeled my very own resonant storm cloud of which I emit silently in the face of vanity..

H: Well you’ll probably see her there a lot more cus shes definitely not with us.

“Okay so thats one.” I say as if taking notes.

“Then Rachel’s out at some charity event that I never even heard of probably with a guy she’s not telling us about which is so frustrating that of all days you pick friday night at the peak of rush to go be a hoe behind our backs.”

“Did she ever show up to the party?”

“Yeah. And she was fucking drunk.” She said as if surprised but not really because this is Rachel we’re talking about, after all.

“Like wasted orrr “

“Damn I didnt know yall got down like that.”

“Umm when youre stumbling through the door and your first words to all the new girls is hallelujah bitches!

She wasn’t with a guy.

“So tell me more about the party. Like was there”

who nobody knows anyway

is that Cheyenne is just out of it because her friends now telling her she doesnt want to rush anymore and for one its like look,

Wait, who’s hannah?

Hannah’s the leader of her sorority.

Ooooh, Okay, I see why now

-Yeah, I mean if word got around that would literally mean she was going around their backs to cover up that she was lying.

> Right. Yeah I hear what you sayin. She’s trying to make it seem as if it never concerned yall in the first place but if thats the case then she dont need to be acting like she got the right to be trusted.

This goes beyond reputation. Manipulating emotions just cus she has none of her own. Conniving biitch. just to get her way goes beyond reputation.

Aint nobody wanna be around that energy.

> So what you tell her?

I get schizophrenic when it comes accepting new ways of being. The person I made him out to be was the perfect cure for my suffering. All those forgetful nights of boredom I knew what I needed all along, but was to scared to do it myself.

------ Frat house halloween party kidnap scene ----

GD shaman prays to shango for power to go out by mantra. Squad in car repeats the same mantra. The power goes out at 1:00 (or peak of the party).

Tycho throws blue flare through the side of the window

at the Tycho must find Chad and lure him downstairs near the door so the squad can get the keys to the room full cocaine and adderal. After looking everwhere he’s no where to be found. He walks in on a couple having with the girl in missionary with devil ears. “Yo chad that you?” Its

(fuckem x3) Music stops from power so he sneaks in wireless speaker in his robot costume and puts it at one end of the room. Squad member 1 will carry bigger wireless speaker and set it down when he storms in. Tycho also brings a timed strobe light to distract people and keep the illusion of the party still going.

Tycho runs down stairs and towards door with chad chasing him. Squad slaps tape and mask on him and carries like a battering ram although theyve already kicked the door.

*Power turns back on*

“Fuck em, fuck em, nigga get out my section

Don’t want to see him, I don’t want to touch him

*waves zippo lighter in front of face so chad can see him through mask*

“Ima count 3 seconds and your dead on 5 if i dont get this combination” says calmly. thus saiyth the lord thy god”

“Three... No mercy”

“Two.. Shall be given unto those”

*gives code*

“One.”

Love takes many shapes and forms.Tycho never opened up to people, hating himself for being incapable of feeling what others felt. He wanted more so he went spiritual. Which his close friends perceived as going off the deep end."Ayy whatsup bro you tryna smoke?""I have a calc exam tomorrow but I'm down after."Aight good luck on your studying tonight and then kill it tomorrow I know you got this calc is your specialty can't say the same for me but that's why you always tutored me haha."Let me know if you need more help. Figuring their was no bounds and he could be whatever, even silent, and experience irony rather than fate. How bland, he thought, to have a life plan and nothing to look forward to. Running drugs would be a necessary chain reaction. The highest elixer exceeding the bliss provided by the very weight he'd be pushing, itd be getting off on defying his own life, leaving spirit his only option. And so like a blackbird his soul seeks experience only in the clearest degree of visibility. Swerving transgressions of lonliness to levy the burdens of contrived responsibilities at societies every turn until his flight patterns veer from the trodden path to and fro the calling of reality in which he desires to preside over as a God of many statures. Untainted by works, head first into the entity of the adversary, of which he is able to predict the situational consequence in only a glimpsing moment before havoc ensues and the final hour is upon him, his loose wings coated with astral charcoal of depravity. Be caught slipping once and he loses the jump until the enevitable program takes its course - an unstoppable relationship between fate and reckoning that must be fulfilled as day turns to night. Once that happens he reverts back to being like the rest of them. Yet to the world, now desolated beyond repair, hed still be alive, exuding a calm presence that something is not quite right with him existing without remorse. The truth is simple enough, a hint just ever so slight as to never be able to cross the threshold of utterance, thus becoming rendered a convinction of self delusion on the part of the unknowing accuser, who by this time hates himself for even thinking badly of such a good guy to make peace with. The collage curtails past the illusion of what is already known and at last the watchers take notice and thus regeneration is able to take place along all the land, allowing for new energy to take the throne of anticipation. One that has harnessed the potential to become anything the wonder puts his mind too. So what if I'm imaginative? Yolandra: I mean everyone's different in their own way. Like yeah the soroitys have a dress code and all that Starbucks and capris. But I don't know. You just have to get know a person for who they are and not how the outside world perceives them to be. T: So what'd you first think of me? Yolandra: Honestly not much anything. You were one of those people who could be anything. But then I overheard you say taurus's are gold diggers and I hated you cus I'm a taurus. T: Oh sorry I really didn't mean it like that but c'mon now I can tell you have a taste for finer things you bougie little.. Boob. *laugh\ haha "you know what I mean" It doesn't bother you? What? That so much could go wrong so quickly? Look, deep down he's telling you his heart lies with getting over and you let him because that's /just what you like about him, how deep he gets. cus he's a sad and selfish individual who was never about loving anything other than vanity. The best thing to do would be to trust his actions, intentions aren't what's important right now. Really, forget about the soul connection. Loves comes through all types of people as long as you're open to receiving them. Those energies. Don't lose yourself in the illusion. Without ever taking credit for what truly matters which should be you. Then your fashion made sense to me. T: I'm so caught up in myself. I mean, it's impossible to know anything else. I'll never get to stand in your shoes. Its just truth. Yet I'm the bad guy. You're not like the other people I've met. T: Yeah I'm kind of loner if you couldn't tell already. I guess that's a good thing.T: Hey it's okay. I get that a lot... Wait what do you mean you guess? Ive found that who evers saying does a 180 in their normalcy. Knowing your even here right now is a good thing. Knowing that you're with me even when im not. Don't you think? Starting out with confidence and ending strong to be lucky if I'm not hurt. Tell me what you want out of this. Sometimes I feel so lame, then I realize how fun itd be to not care. Through the window screen i see parchments and grass blades, this is an image I've sought to ignore for its blandness thinking I was over recognizing such mundane structures. The sunlight made me drunk with non verbal contemplation. I crave this heat when I'm in low spirits. And a breeze when I'm high. My thoughts are channeled from a lonely place (My thoughts come from a lonely place) I've had no choice but to become accustomed to for my own sanity. To work faster and breach that veil of reckonning. So unreachable and enticing at the same time.T When I'm alone, welcome something more than the past if you ever cared to help me. This isn't the only world out there. And even if it was the material would eventually reach infinity. Then a black hole would open or something. Don't quote me on that, science is the hottest thing going right now. It cant hurt to butt in unofficially. As long as no one calls you on it. The universe molds to your confidence. That's another story. At the end of the day, I have too much pride to be a scientist. The God they're serving calls for a lot of self sacrifice. A self that ignores emergency when called to speak. A self i'm not prepared to lose. "Why are you here again, nothing will change, you're gonna be quiet like last time" any handle on reality I had during the sun rise flees like an ex girlfriend into the night. I'm not prepared to lose. Anxiety is that humid feeling you get when roughnecking the time away. Jaded peripherals, internet browsing, and fading friends initiate a color spectrum so cruelly vivid in its inability to be shared with the CVS cashier who looked at you wrong because you bought 3 4oz bottles of robitussin. A man who couldnt care to see the streets, stop signs, and traffic lights. Man is a slang term we use when caught in the moment. Of which matrix programming loves to grasp onto. --- 10/25/17 wednesday So here I am enjoying a piece of lackluster nothing for the sake of something I've agreed to experience in a past life I can't even remember but somehow must make amends to as if its an actual concrete thing I can touch and make sense out of without caring to ponder how life puts us in these type situations like getting your hair done a new way and meeting a friend of a friend superficially without ever following up like aight word up bro I feel you by the way hows life and what's the special fact I should become one with in this moment while not thinking too much in to things or else id be alone as if we're not alive under the stars for any other reason than to be happy but still to me that becomes too much like a flash in time rather than something meaningful because then sex would have to be our purpose for being here but you and I both know it's more complicated than that so we look into it via memories and realize the journey was brighter than the reward as in I don't remember the actual sex part but rather the day as a whole with stained glass sprinkled in on a film reel to push the past into something real and unexplainably alluring to the self of which we projected this light onto in order to perhaps know in advance maybe how to repeat this metaphysical phenomenon for a second time because we're not quite there yet although at this rate if seems that to finally reach a state of thereness would mean we wouldn't be able to be here right now having this conversation like a building block struck from below or a house of cards we have to keep faith that every moment plays its part because we had an emotion for it and therefore couldn't be rendered to nothing in a wreckless attempt force it all together rather let each tile compliment it's neighbor and bypass the need for destruction by allowing enough caring energy to flow through that filter mechanism within you that deems lifes moments as worth remembering or forgetting and pretend you never heard about forgetting and avoid it like the plague because everything that ever was is depending on you to go forth into righteous so that gods original intention for letting go of unwanted baggage be synthesized within your vessel of upgrades intelligence so that the journey can still be appreciated only this time without th deceptive veil of the end. to question the little things that somehow don't mean much but at the same time appear to us daily as conduits for good fortune and thats what we must uphold ___ 11/2/17 thursday

I you and me playcated on a surface of stones that match our longing to search in the wrong places. Convenient are we done such a conceivable time that is time which is also time because what more can be said other than us winding down a fire escape to an inexplicable hatch sitting like paper mache on our transformative spiritual natures. Gone already but not forgotten just make sure to take the negative side of every situation involving 1 or more parties so as to make sure the rythym is in order because you can't go wrong with challenging the status quo of an area you're not suppose to be in even if that seems too easy and superficial it's the right choice because even the idea of rebellion as a bad thing must be able to project into a physical thing prompt for examination so secrets may be revealed. Wouldn't you know i stopped believing in faith due to its redundancy of chasing metaphysical strings too far out for us to put into words and isn't that the source of all our angst. Depraved of propositional phrases and elemental tables it's all so clear to me now. Casandra had a bag and Mikey had his sneakers in the forefront like a low hanging fruit but of course they had personalities that weren't so easy to see unless the hard work of interfacing came into the equation. Lets judge people based on judging for the sake of basing ourselves onto something not within our realm of reality. Perception is a hard question i think maybe inanimate objects could tell us a thing or two. Low pressure sodium lamps.Documentorial lecture hall amps failing to reach the end of the pyramid turned 90 degrees away from its focal point. May disease not reach our unexplainable selves if ever they may inhabit our temporary vessels like a friend who has no friends but you and wants desperately to get along with others but is attached to your ways. Are we in hell? What can our astral travels tell us about signaling locations with Etheric marks of time dialation. Things are what they are by defintion or they wouldn t be things however stepping the observer up a notch sets in motion cancer to grow from the singular notion that we ourselves separate on a cost of lightening our load. I am partly responsible for this mess we have made. Pulling my hair out in thin strands so as to not make a difference. Some people just don't understand what it means to be so far gone yet in a place of enchantment that lets us know we're not alone as Michael Jackson plays on the ham radio and Wikipedia says the song was written by r kelly. I'm a solitary young man, joined at the seams complacency and red-ridden vanishing points to a line of sight I'd rather not identify with if I had a choice. I'm seriously considering becoming rich and famous despite others already forcing me to. I guess eventually my spirit will give in as my soul looks from a distance and says what a fool I am then goes about his day. You can't be like the rest of them no matter how hard you try. Thinking on the sensualities you avoided after this rap shit led you no where. The palace at the height of creation where Jesus stopped and stared to collect his thoughts before he kept going when his alarm rang as his slave bending consistency tracked the new melinnia into a moldy piece of sandstone cheese the better of which tasted nutty with fruity notes and 80% abv shards of liquid glass on the throat thatd make even an immortal weep a shy tear or two. The pigs down in Mississippi feel things we can't understand in their slaughterhouse decrepit and forwarned in a musk ridden air flow that's non existent to hypocritical angels who were supposed to stop atrocity but opted to sit on their ads and play virtua tennis all day. Oink says the pig. Hee haw says the donkey. Give me life says the God and there on the 30th night fags came to tell the story on their faces. The bag lady told them to shut up and stop whining but they wouldn't listen though they lost their ability to speak. Goodness gracious me oh my great balls of fire. Great balls of ball you are the Lord of my lonely century in this dimension I took awareness to when I allowed you into my heart space.And then I left asking my self: Who is this I?

755559888a

Let’s stand for a while and think about the dastardly ways we have gone under the waters and flew away from temptation. Have us saying isnt it so pretty to be in something and have that to fall back on due to the struggles of forgetting the place we come from which didnt always have it out for us this bad in refusing us of inconjunctions we can at least point to and blame our problems on saying “See! There, I told you so. That’s why we cant find our beginning!” And we’ll keep toilling the fields as halflings saving up for a chance to leave the very universe we serve. “So thats more like it. Finally something I can get my flows on to” Shelly the alien said. “The Stars dont have to like you just because you see them. They have their place and so do we” Gerald said. “Oh but they do.” “How do you know?” “Well for one they always shine bright at the most oppurtune times, like when I’m feeling down about the part of myself that conveinently seems to escape me just when I need it most. If that be so then put me on to something else and that’ll do just fine.” “Perhaps you're not as big as you thought ” Gerald held up his hand to salvage what was left of the dissolving psychic barrier between them. An invisible giant with an ocd issue. For now he could only listen. “No im not here to choose and thats exactly why Im not afraid to go where you can’t. Having the courage to admit your wrongs requires as much energy as universal rotation itself - a force which exists beyond our pleaidien awareness. ” “ But Shel- Okay whatever” Gerald paused and rolled the horizon through his scaly fingertips. “Keep calling on the unknown and you might get lost because it’s been there forever and sometimes Look, Shelly, no offense, you know I love you, but your awareness has no filter on what representation it can cling onto like danger isnt a reality to you. Me and Dazel always had to look out for you and thats just in this world what makes you think you can take on things you cant even see? “But do you believe in me? Anyone can say they love me. I’ve been hearing that my whole life. So much that it holds the same meaning as “um” does in conversation. Is that really the final conclusion we have at the end of the day? That you love me? Besides, I dont think you really meant that.”

“Here goes Miss Type-1 personality again. Always needing to label circles into squares, stars into gods, this as that, out of an inability to cope with insecurity. Leaving the rest of us as unwilling participants.”

“HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT’S WRONG IN NATURE?” Shelly bawled.

The beach of Temofose was out of walking distance from the orange cottage they grew up in with there Mom. When they were young it was somewhere theyd go when they had nothing else to do. Euweu Sister Beach was the brighter of the two, but now too populated for their liking. Temofose is less frequented by other families and polluted by cargo ships and a lack of open views but as they stood there a semblence of twilight through the holographic cages offered closure to the purpose of them arguing in the elements about a timeline Shelly was going to step into And no matter what argument he could put forth, Gerald thought of it fruitless unless he spoke from his heart, a heart of which Shelly was currently taking the place of, so that he could not use it against her. “Shelly, I just hope you can understand how I dont want to let you go.” “I’m sorry you feel that way. But it’s my choice. Have a good njght Gerald. I love you” She said as she went into darkness.

Summer Break 2018

As a street light exploring strip malls, I am a linoleum tile on top of a trapezoid emitting frames of rave scenes. Heres where I find myself walking through last nights dream of the gang member selling duck pussy then getting assaulted by a pizza guy and a cop. Alone after those nights. Seems love was never meant to be expressed but felt. I look inside to see if I’m about to die, seeing diamonds mixed with sky. Materializing in the backdrop of my memories. Now I know why.

Now I know.

Then a wren on the fence manifests when it needs to. The perspective pyramid is that I pleaded for a higher calling. There’s nobody bohemian as me. One day I’ll take this civic off the road and escape into my sacred grove. If only I wasnt such a bitch.

I carry my single briefcase through the airport parking lot. I’m hot and out of breath. Everyone watching me. I can read their thoughts but not my own. They say look at the guy who isnt me but is still conscious enough to move his vessel.

The a/c runs down to the end of the terminal, but my spirit is squared by the stores selling vain material. The pyramid of perspective is an accordian overlayed on my mind’s eye televises scenes too chaotic to put into words. Walking through customs is an event to be remembered, I tell myself. Anyone who catches my glimpse pauses for a split second, calibrating my own opinion of the why in life. A definition of nuance that was never meant to be expressed but felt. To sense what I’ve been wanting, free and alone, after all those wasted days. I board the flight to say finally I am my own religion. If I was flying over africa I’d see bon fires, but over Georgia I only see street lights. Thinking how absurd that they will speak of me as crazy. Others will listen. A vibration through these amber aisles to look no further than my destiny. Because everyone has their destination is the way it goes. I refuse. I’m tired of being a number. Atlanta had its place. Now I’m homeless in Tokyo. This is the not-so perfect end to the chapter planned out for me by the higher power. Not-so bad neither.

Save me. I’m on the other side now.

#chapter 1 #short-story #novella #atl streetz #cancer moon #tryna

1 note · View note

cauldronoflove · 6 years

Text

a/n: this is a prompt fill for tht writing meme i posted but it got. a little longer than it was supposed to so heres a seperate post for it! the chars belong to my darling friend annie @dantesaristotles but she lets me throw them around sometimes and im hella grateful for each opportunity!!!

---

28. "Marry me."

It had started off as a joke, really. Way back when Kyle was trying to renew his FAFSA for sophomore year and realized the difference.

"If I asked you to marry me," he said to Hugo one night, mid financial talk. They were back in Hugo's bedroom at his parents house, pne of the rare weekends they could both afford to come home and spend time together. He was curled around him, had an arm around his waist and his cold nose in the back of his neck. His voice was joking. "Would you say yes?"

"Probably," Hugo replied. Kyle could tell his eyes were shut and his nostrils had flared in that way they did when he thought something was funny, but was too tired to laugh.

"Might need you to if my grant doesn't come through."

"It will," he murmured, already on the fringes of sleep.

☆

The next time it had happened - or rather, the next time of substance - was a few months later. He was all set up in his new dorm room - housing indeed paid for by that very grant that had sparked the whole running joke - and it was Hugo's turn to make the trip from his college to Kyle's, instead of the other way around.

"Hey, babe," he said, spinning away from his desk to look over at Hugo, who was sprawled across his XL Twin bed with his phone held above his face to dutifully stay silent while Kyle wrote the conclusion to his essay.

"You done?"

"Nah, not yet."

"What's up?"

"If I asked you to marry me, would you say yes?"

"Why this time?"

Kyle took the rebuff in stride, having already had a genuine answer. "You know that movie with Melissa Joan Hart and Joey Lawrence? The one they always played on ABC Family?"

"Hold on-" Hugo said as he sat up quickly, his curls bouncing around his head. "This is a My Fake Fiancé scenario?"

"Listen," Kyle started back in, his hands coming up in front of him. "It could work. Also, I saw this immersion blender the other day and like-"

With an amused, terribly fond scrunch to his nose, Hugo proclaimed, "You're such a fucking dork."

☆

The third of great substance, because there'd been so many little ones that anyone would lose count, was far less happy than any of the rest.

Existential crises, Kyle had said over text, are one hell of a drug.

Hugo had promptly replied with ??? and it went on from there.

kyle: i just. i dont know this asshole thts probably named fucking thad or something equally as dumb said some dumb shit to me after class today? and i cant get it out of my head

hugo: hey whatever he said, its not true- do you want me to call you?

kyle: i dont know if i can rlly keep it together rn babe

hugo: are you crying?

kyle: like. 10% its no biggie

hugo: honey :(

kyle: if i asked you to marry me would you say yes

hugo: in a heartbeat

It was the closest thing Kyle had ever gotten to yes.

☆

It wasn't the last time, not by far, but it was the end of an era, the beginning of a new one.

They were graduated, post college by six months a piece, living together in a shitty apartment that they loved in the way cat people loved their cats, as in: "this is our apartment, her name is Asshole, she's a holy terror but we love her and you can't tell us shit about her."

Kyle was still in bed because it was Sunday and he didn't have a shift and fuck getting out of bed before noon, y'know?

But Hugo was standing at the dresser in nothing but long plaid PJ pants that obviously belonged to Kyle. He was rifling through his sock drawer, muttering to himself.

Kyle traced the freckles on his back, a lazy smile on his face, leisirely pace to his movements. Hugo was bathed in buttery sunlight, and Kyle loved him.

"Hey," he called, voice still thick and marred with sleep. "Hey, Hugs."

Hugo scoffed the same way he had since they were eighteen at the nickname. "What is it?"

"If I asked you to marry me," he said patiently. "Would you say yes?"

It took Hugo a long minute to turn around, and when he did, his face was one of exasperated anguish. "You had to ask that right now? You couldn't have waited two minutes?"

Kyle's face scrunched up, having never gotten a response like that, he was sufficiently taken aback.

"What? Why?"

"Because," Hugo bemoaned, dropping his knees onto the mattress and shimmying over. "It makes it sound so much less original when I do my thing."

Kyle quirked a brow, until Hugo raised his clenched hand up to reveal a plain little black velvet box.

"If I asked you to marry me," he said, holding the box out between them. "Would you say yes?"

Smartly, Kyle replied, "I'm sorry, what?"

"Marry me," he repeated, popping the lid on the ring box to show a simple silver band that if you inspected closely, had an inscription on the inside.

"Oh. I, yeah, oh." His brain wasn't firing all cylinders, the cogs were gumming up, he'd planned everything so perfectly, and yet Hugo had still beat him to it-

"Kyle?"

Quickly, Kyle fumbled at his pillow, shoving his hand into the pillowcase, and unzipping the zipper on the actual pillow - allergen shield, baby. He rooted around againt the actual pillow before finally extracting his own box.

"Are you seriously trying to steal my proposal right now?"

"Are you complaining?"

There were tears brimming in Hugo's eyes as he said, "No, you dumbass- how long has that been in there?"

"Forever. I knew I could leave it there 'cause you never make the bed," Kyle said with a wet laugh, hand coming up to smudge his own tears.

"Jesus, Kyle."

"I think someone has to say yes or we're just gonna be in stalemate forever."

"I proposed first, you have to say it first. Technically, you didn't even propose, so really-"

"Yeah, of course I'll marry you."

"I'll marry you too."

☆

Kyle had to resist the urge to tug nervously at his cufflinks as he recited his vows.

"I used to ask you, all the time, if I were to ask you to marry me, would you say yes. And it started out as a joke, but I think I realized, even when I was that dumb eighteen year old, I think I realized even then that I meant it. I love you, Hugo, and even if I didn't realize it way back in the beginning, my heart did - it's loved you from the start. So, I stand here before you, in front of our whole family, not just blood, but the one we found along the way too - whether it be Kiera, or Pheebs, Asher - for some reason - or our literal high school English teacher, the man whose class started it all for us - I stand before all of them, and I ask you one last time, in more words than ever before, if you'd like to spend the rest of your life with me, and before you give me you answer, I'll give you mine: I do."

Hugo was pushing tears away with the back of his hand, muttering something about how he'd had to get Kiera to help him with his vows, and yet he'd still blown him out of the water. But he nodded. And he recited his own vows. And on a sunny day, in the crispness of fall, Kyle Bellamy and Hugo Hansen became the Bellamy-Hansens, and they finally gave the simplest answer to the age old question, no hesitation in either of their declarations.

If I asked you to marry me would you say yes?

Yes.

#hhhhhh i love them!!!!!#welcome to class #my fanfiction #sorta!

1 note · View note

noah-ynrezc · 7 years

Text

How Adam’s college friends thought he was weird, but it turns out that he’s pretty “normal” compared to his friends HC

-ronan never really goes up to college with adam, because adam’s the one who escapes back home on his time off

-adam’s college friends all think there’s something off about him, even tough they all also think he’s perfect

-his nickname with the college friends (that they never say directly to his face) is “Perfect Adam” to differentiate between him and another adam.

-how he disappears on weekends and holidays and doesn’t really tell anyone where he’s going

-how there’s a chest under his bed they’ve never seen him open

-fun fact: it’s Persephone’s tarot cards and he keeps them there for Reasons

-how there’s photos of a small girl in a black beanie on his wall and desk, but all of the photos are just of her face, never below the waste

-how adam has a boyfriend, but whenever they ask about this dude, the story changes for each person (they’ve compared notes and it just confused them more)

-“he’s tattoo’d and street races sometimes”

-“he’s a lonely farmer”

-“yeah he’s got a kid”

-“he’s an asshole I went to high school with”

-“trust fund kid”

-and then

-one day the rest of the gangsey decide to drop in unannounced because Henry, Blue, and Gansey are in town and Ronan’s missing his bf

-Opal is left in the care of 300 Fox Way because you can rip the fact that those women adore my small goat child from my dead, headcannon loving hands

-and they just watch as Adam’s face breaks stoic-Adam-bitch-resting-face as a beat up orange ass car pulls up and a sleek black one behind it

-gansey is the first one out

-that little boy fucking runs into adam’s arms and hugs him for longer than socially acceptable

-“stop stealing my man, Parrish”

-Blue definatly interrupts like this, insults Gansey’s boat shoes for the 28839439th time that day and kisses Adam on the cheek

-henry is a good bean and he just waves and stands next to Blue and Gansey

-and adam’s college friends are like “is that dude that hugged him the bf????”

-and Blue and Gansey are laughing while Adam shakes his head and Henry pulled out his phone to take photos because the other two of his roadtrip buddies are fucking gremlins that never take photos and then are sad that they don’t have photos of the memories

-yeah, Blue, Henry and Gansey are all in a beautiful poly-relationship and Blue and Gansey can now kiss because they DESERVE IT OKAY

-anyways, Ronan is the last one out

-and Adam looks Ronan in the eyes and goes “hey asshole”

-and adam’s college friends are fucking shook

-and ronan’s reply is “fuck off” because it’s ronan

-and adam just turns and goes “this is my ex Blue, and her boyfriends Gansey and Henry. And this is Ronan”

-adam’s poor college friends are so lost and confused and Blue isn’t helping because she KNOWS they are and is attempting to make it worse

-“throw back to when Adam and Gansey were lovers”

-“henry, remember that time you got a boner for perfect Adam?” “blUE-“

-“adam’s my second favorite boyfriend” “i’m your first right?” “Whatever helps you sleep, Boat Shoes” “thanks- wait-“

-(her favorite bf is Noah,,,)

-and they all just continue on with this for a while, everyone walking back to the dorms or something and adam’s college friends are just trailing with confused expressions

-and finally one of them stops adam and is like “are you really dating all of them???” And adam just goes “no???? I’m dating ronan???? I thought you knew????”

-“he’s a farmer?!” “…yeah?” “,,,he’s fucking terrifying” “yeah”

-and the rest are all like, “ronan’s barely said a word or even hugged adam and he’s the supportive and loving bf adam cares for????”

-and then ronan, in his terrifying, shaved head, tattoo’d glory turns to adam and chucks his hand cream at the boy’s head and goes “oh yeah, got you this” “thanks”

-and adam and ronan’s smiles are really soft in that moment and the college friends are like “OH”

-“stop flirting. I want to eat some college dorm room ramen” “Adam, are you living off of ramen?” “Gansey, it’s not that big of a-“ “im buying us dinner now”

-and Blue and Henry are just being weird and making fun of Gansey

-ronan just calls everyone “asshole” or “jerk”

-blue flips him off at least once

-honestly, what a weird constellation these dorks make

-but soon, the trio has to leave because they’ve got to visit Helen and her gf and the elder Ganseys

-and it’s just Adam, Ronan and the college friends left

-and adam starts his homework at his desk while Ronan lounges onto adam’s bed

-“btw, I brought chainsaw” “in the dorm?” “In the dorm”

-and a small chainsaw heads pokes out from Ronan’s hood at the sound of her name

-college friends fucking loose it now and just disperse because they can’t handle anymore of this

-and poor adam’s roomate is left alone with adam and the terrifying creature that is Ronan

-but adam and ronan are being chill, but somehow Roomate can’t concentrate with ronan and chainsaw there

-and then ronan just gets up suddenly and walks out and adam doesn’t even flinch when the door slams, just smiles and rolls his eyes and continues with his work because he knows ronan will be sitting on the trunk of his car when he finishes this chapter

-and he meets back outside, but it’s cold now and adam’s an idiot who didn’t think to bring a hoodie so he’s cold in his cocacola shirt that he’ll probably never get rid of

-and ronan’s there, sitting on the trunk, feeding chainsaw out of his hand with feed adam expects is dream-made

-and they just sit there in silence for a bit, watching chainsaw eat

-they’re shoulders are touching and ronan’s slightly leaning into adam, but not overly so and he’s sitting on adam’s good side so that he can hear him

-“squash one, squash two-“

-adam laughs before ronan lapses into humming old songs he learned from his bagpipe training, bless his heart

-and adam just listens, occasionally petting chainsaw as they sit

-and it’s over too soon because Ronan gets a call from Maura’s phone, but it’s Opal asking to talk to Adam and wanting to be picked up soon because “maura’s making tea again” and ronan should leave home before his poor goat daughter is destroyed by shitty tea

-and they don’t kiss or hug, ronana gets into his car and drives off as adam stands on the curb and watches him disappear

-“he left fast” “yeah, he needed to pick up Opal” “his… daughter?” “Yeah”

-and none of the college friends question adam directly, but they all accept that perfect, but weird Adam is definatly the least-weird of his friend group

-(and they attempt to compare notes on what happened that night, but get even more confused because one noticed that Blue wore weird clothes and another was like “but Gansey looks like white priviledge” and “ronan can’t be the gay farmer with a kid”, “adam must have two boyfriends”, “adam said that ronan has a daughter named Opal”, “IS he the gay farmer???? I thought he was the streetracer????”, “was Gansey the trust fund boyfriend????”, “how come his ex is dating his bf????”)

#trc #the raven cycle #adam’s college friends #adam parrish #blue sargent #richard gansey #ronan lynch #henry cheng #noah czerny #the mirror #the magician #the king #the dreamer #bee boy #smudgy boy #my writing #trc headcanon #trc hc

597 notes · View notes

pwjins · 7 years

Text

just neighbor things

summary: your new apartment life starts out rather bad, but luckily, your odd friendship with your new neighbor helps keep both yours and his life just a little bit more manageable. member: seongwoo genre: fluff?? neighbor!au??? a/n: i literally have no idea what im doing i’m so sorry insp. by these au prompts!!

congrats

You just got kicked out of your parents’ house

And now you’re trying to haul 50 pounds of stuff into your new and kind of shitty apartment

But as a 3rd year college student with a questionable major

Who has no idea what the fuck they’re doing

This was a pretty good start for you

The rent for the apartment was pretty cheap considering it was small

But anything you could afford with your half assed part time job at the local supermarket was good enough for you

You finally lugged the last of your boxes into your apartment, letting out a heavy breath

Instead of throwing yourself on the floor and rewarding yourself with a nap

You figured you should be a good new neigbor in the apartment complex

So you showered and freshened up, making yourself look less sleep-deprived and somewhat presentable

You rushed out your door and knocked on the door of the apartment to the left of yours

You were hopeful to make some new friends in the complex and get along with your neighbors

Since you’d be living here for a while

However, your hopes went down the drain when you heard the sound multiple cats screeching behind the door

And angry footsteps moving forward and swinging the door open

Which probably would’ve hit you in the face if you didn’t step back

You were faced with an elderly woman, holding a chubby cat in her arms that looked as pissed as she was

Still, you decided to be confident and move on, greeting her with, “hi! my name’s Y/N! i just moved–”

Before you could even finish your introduction she glared at you with her angry old woman eyes and cut you off

“new neighbor? ANOTHER kid?”

You were unable to even respond to her as she kept annoyedly complaning about something like “noisy kids” and “don’t know what they’re doing” and “no decency”

The second she finished her thoughts, she shut the door

Without even greeting you, leaving you alone in the hallway

“nice to meet you too i guess” you mumbled

Okay, so not a great start

But hey you still had your other neighbor to greet who hopefully wasn’t an ass

With new high hopes, you knocked on the door a couple times, waited for a minute or two

But there was no response

You decided to knock a few more times aaaaaand still no response

Giving up, you figured that your neighbor was either dead, asleep, or out of the house

You really hoped it wasn’t the first one

As you were about to turn and head back to your apartment

A voice a couple feet down the hall called out to you

“hey, what’re you in front of my apartment for?” they said, sounding slightly annoyed

You stiffly turned around, not wanting to make yet another bad first impression

You were expecting another angry person to be yelling at you

Boy oh boy you were SO wrong

The second you turned around and faced the person, you swear your heart probably stopped

Oh my god he’s hot

You were faced with a tall guy, subtle dark circles underneath his eyes and a family size bag of hot cheetos in his arms like it was his firstborn son

But oh man did he rock that sleep deprived look

He was probably around the same age as you, college student you assumed

You struggled to get your words out, only managing to sputter, “uhh i’m y/n! i’m your new neighbor?”

He raised an eyebrow, looking at you up and down and completely iGNORED YOU

Before unlocking his apartment door and disappearing inside without saying another word to you

Good job, y/n, first day in and you’ve pissed off both neighbors

He might’ve been cute

But that didn’t mean anything if he was as much of an asshole as the elderly cat woman next door

You sighed and decided to wave the white flag for the day, retreating back into your apartment to rest

Your place wasn’t exactly super well furnished

So at most right now, you had a crappy mattress, some blankets, and your best friend, the coffee maker

But you just had to deal with it until you unpacked everything else so you crashed on your mattress

And scrolled through your social media until you knocked out

As if your first day/night in your new place couldn’t get worse

You heard some loud and rapid knocking at your door, waking you up from your sleep

It was dark inside your apartment and outside the window too

So you pulled out your phone to see what time it was, squinting at your bright screen in the dark

3:17AM

Literally who the fuck was bothering you at 3am

You groaned and threw your blankets off the mattress and got up to head towards the incessant knocking

When you finally got to the door, you threw it open to see the dumbass trying to bother you

“i’m tired what do you wan–” you grumbled, unable to finish your sentence when you saw once again

Your undeniably good looking neighbor from earlier who didn’t look too sober at the moment

He looked pretty disheveled at the moment, but still damn

His brown hair looked slightly messy and he wore a plain t shirt over black jeans, and the three cute little moles on his cheek caught your attention

Before you could even ask if he was okay because he clearly did not look like it

He immediately fell against the doorframe, leaning and holding onto it as to not fall over

And he began rambling endlessly without even giving you a second to comprehend what he was trying to say

“hi i know it’s like 3am i’m so soryr but i’m just really tired and really drunk right now and i dont’ know WHERE my keys are and the old lady next door scares me with her gardening shears so please hav mercy on me and let me crash for the night plus you’re pretty and i know we just met but i think i like you so hi hey how’s it going”

And with that, he fell asleep against the doorframe

what the fuck

One part of you just wanted to leave him there and go back to sleep

But then another part of you didn’t want to be sued for abandoning a helplessly sleep deprived guy

So you tugged him forward so that his body fell over your shoulders and you dragged his RIDICULOUSLY HEAVY BODY into your apartment

jesus christ i just wanted to sleep

You didn’t have any couch or chair to lie him down in

Nor did you have the strength or patience to lug him all the way to your mattress

So you decided just to leave him on the floor by the kitchen and threw a blanket over him

You mentally pat yourself on the back for being a good citizen of the world and crawled back into bed

Right as you were about to fall asleep again, loud snoring began to echo through the apartment

You sighed in regret, contemplating if bringing him in was even a good idea

But you just ignored it and pulled your pillow over your ears and finally got to sleep

The next morning, you tiptoed into the kitchen pouring out some cereal into two bowls and making yourself a mug of black coffee

As you waited for the water to boil, you walked over to the sleeping body in your living room

You squatted down in front of him and nudged his shoulders lightly

He didn’t budge at all so you started nudging him harder, basically almost shaking his shoulders till he started moving

His eyes finally cracked open and he began stretching his arms a bit before sitting up and rubbing his eyes

He looked around your apartment which was stilled filled with boxes and tons of junk lying around

Poor guy looked so confused until he saw you sitting in front of him

“well this doesn’t look like my apartment”

“no shit it isn’t” you replied

“i think you’ve got things backwards, first you wake me up at 3am drunk as hell, crash in my living room, eat my cereal, and i don’t even know your name yet” you said

He struggled to stifle a laugh as you got up to hand him a good ol bowl of Fruit loops and a fork

He accepted the bowl but held up the fork with an eyebrow raised at you

“look i just moved in and i can’t find my spoons so you’re just gonna have to eat with a fork” you shrugged, shoving fruit loops down your throat

“funny because my apartment has all spoons but i can’t find my forks,” he laughed, “the name’s seongwoo, ong seongwoo, but you can just call me ong”

You smiled at his humorous personality– he was definitely growing on you

“y/n, but maybe you would’ve know that already if you didn’t oh so gracefull ignore me yesterday,” you chuckled

“Yeah, sorry about that, running on 2 hours of sleep and hot cheetos can make a guy moody sometimes” he responded

And so began your long morning of eating cereal and talking with your new neighbor, seongwoo

You learned that he was a year older than you and went to college about 15 minutes away from yours

He used to live on the on-campus dorms but got evicted by his roommates after his 2nd year for being too noisy

And apparently the person that used to live your apartment before you came was some middle-aged man that would steal his coupons from the mailbox

So he was relieved that that DEMON was finally gone

His other neighbor was yet another old lady who was overly obsessed with her plants and would try to cut him with her shears if he got too close

The two of you bonded over complaining about old cat lady and old plant lady, laughing over your encounters with them

After demolishing your box of fruit loops and talking all morning, you asked, “hey since i basically housed and fed you for the last 8 hours, can you like please help me unpack”

He happily agreed and you both spent the rest of that afternoon unpacking the boxes and uncluttering the apartment

While you would unload the rest of the plates and bowls into your lower cabinets

seongwoo would be putting away the cups and mugs onto the higher shelves that you couldn’t reach

Finally you had some chairs and other furniture to fill the space so that you weren’t eating on the floor or with forks all the time

You finished unpacking nearly all of the boxes, leaving some in the closet for another day to handle

After you guys finished, you exchanged numbers in case you guys needed something in the future

“if you need anything or need to drunk crash at my place whenever you lose your keys, just knock really loudly,” he laughed, heading out the door and back into his own apartment

Turned out his keys were under the mat the entire time

After that incident, you guys just started depending on each other for a lot of things

Because you guys were basically each other’s only friend in a building of angry elderly women

If you ever needed something from a tall shelf and couldn’t get it, you’d just knock violently on the wall for seongwoo to hear on the other side

If the landlord was inspecting rooms to make sure they weren’t being trashed

You’d help seongwoo hide all of his junk in the closet to make his apartment at least look clean

So that he wouldn’t get evicted from ANOTHER place

Whenever you’d forget to bring one of your textbooks to class, seongwoo had your spare key and was only one text away

Would drive all the way to your school just to drop it off so you didn’t fail chemistry

And of course there were nights where you’d both go out to drink together just for fun and it didn’t matter whose apartment you both crashed in

As long as you could at least get in to one of them

Yeah both of you tend to forget your keys a lot LOL

Studying for your midterms and having a mental breakdown?

No prob, seongwoo’s got you

He’d come over with a bag of hot cheetos, a 6-pack of dr. pepper, and popsicle he bought from some ghetto vendor down the street

“i heard you slamming your head against your textbook from across the wall so i thought i’d come help”

Whenever he was sick of his job at his college’s campus cafe and wanted to go home, you’d call his phone and act like you were his dying relative

So his boss would let him go home early

And MOVIE NIGHTS

Every friday you guys have a ritual where you alternate between crashing at each other’s place and watching a movie until you both fall asleep

To cool off from the stress of being poor, tired students

But sometimes you guys argue over what movies you want to watch

Or what you guys eat as a snack

“bitch you picked the movie last week now give me the remote before i feed your house keys to the neighbor’s cat”

BUT IN THE END YOU GUYS ALWAYS HELP EACH OTHER OUT

Like you could knock on his door at 2AM just to rant

And he would let you in and feed you stale poptarts until you calmed down

Or you guys will do face masks together and do some EXTREME pore cleansing while watching reality tv shows

The only thing you guys can’t depend on each other for though is food

One time you barged into seongwoo’s place and begged, “i’m out of food please help i really can’t adult today”

And he’d laugh at you and say, “you know the funny thing about this is that you ACTUALLY think i can cook,” as he pulls out ramen cups out of his cupboard

and oh boy y’all are just really cute n friendly neighbors that help each other out

301 notes · View notes

danisnotofire · 7 years

Note

hey im going to orientation in a few days and im rly nervous abt starting college, i was just wondering if you had any tips or any ~advice~ bc im like, lowkey freaking out ((also i also stage manage and i love musicals and astronomy (sry i was snooping around your about page)))

hey!!! ok i am so so so sorry this took so long lol i actually just went back to school myself to help out with a pre-orientation program and we’ve been having like 17 hour days so i’m Exhausted and haven’t had a lot of time to really give a thoughtful answer (UNTIL NOW). some of this is gonna sound cheesy, but this is Emma Danisnotofire’s Official Real List of Pro-Tips for College, so if it’s on here it’s true. that being said, i go to a medium/small school (4,000 students) in the middle of fucking nowhere, so some of my experiences are gonna be a lil different. most still apply.

first off, it’s TOTALLY OKAY that you’re nervous. i know when i went i was highkey freaking out even more bc everybody else seemed to be just excited and i felt like i was the only one actually losing my mind from how scared i was. i didn’t sleep at all the night before i moved in. being scared is fine. you’ll probably be scared for awhile after you get there, too, and that’s absolutely okay. i remember it took me a solid few weeks for me to stop feeling nauseous from nerves whenever i woke up. i promise i promise this will go away. you will settle in and you’ll make friends and you’ll figure out where everything is and how things work, i PROMISE.

second, once you get there, don’t be afraid to talk to people!! i know that sounds super cheesy and unhelpful, but seriously. talk to your orientation leaders!! they’re usually upperclassmen and 99% of the time they had to APPLY to get that position, and it’s because they’re so so excited to meet you!! i’m a mentor for this pre-o program (it’s arts-focused), and we all had to apply, and every single other mentor is super passionate not only about the arts but about making sure the incoming freshman feel comfortable and happy and at home right off the bat. we want to like you!! talk to us!!! talk to each other!! at my school, (bucknell), orientation is actually pretty fucking legendary (it’s 5 straight days of just. nonstop activities), so getting to know your group is always nice. good conversation starters include: compliment something they’re wearing/have done, mention pets, ask about what classes they’re taking. that’s usually where i start when i’m talking to my kids!!

okay, now for some Actual Tangible Advice. most of this is actually taken from when i gave my friend natalie some advice about college, but it’s still applicable to you!! i’m putting it under a readmore bc It’s So Very Long, I’m Sorry, I Really Hope This Helps/Makes Up For Me Not Answering For So Long

-if you can, get a microwave. if you can’t, it’s nbd because there’s probably one in your dorm somewhere. but it’s really nice not to have to put on shoes/socks to go make ramen at 3am

-INVEST IN GOOD SOCKS!!!! srsly omg you’re never gonna wanna go anywhere barefoot, and dorm heating/cooling can be tricky. i treated myself to a 5-pair box where they’re all different classic art pieces. they’re GORGEOUS and super nice for when i can’t find my flip-flops.

-also, if you have birks. bring them. they are also good for sliding on when u really have to pee in the middle of the night and can’t for the life of u find anything else. also everyone i know wears birks casually (i have a 20 dollar pair of fake ones from american eagle lol)

-OLD NAVY HAS FLIP FLOPS 2 FOR 5 DOLLARS. they make the BEST shower shoes and also they come in so many lit colors they’re the bomb digs. these are also good if you don’t have a pair of birks

-if your dorm doesn’t have it already (most dorms don’t) BUY A SCREEN FOR YOUR WINDOW!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY if u hate bugs you do NOT want them coming in when all u want is some fresh air. my roommate last year brought one to school bc i didn’t even think about it and it was a LIFESAVER.

-if you can, get one of those febreeze scent things you plug in. if you aren’t allowed, there’s this thing called a scentsy that basically melts wax and it makes your room smell SO. GOOD. idk how much they cost but honestly you will be thankful you have it if you can get it (candles work too but most dorms don’t allow candles)

-you don’t need a huge plastic shower caddy!! you can get a softer one and then hang it on a hook outside the shower or loop it around the shower knob. they’re probs better than a big hard one bc they won’t fill up with water and you can stash it easier. (i went with a big plastic one and it’s a hassle lol). however, if you already got a big plastic one, that’s cool too bc sometimes they come with a removable second smaller caddy, and that’s good for putting your phone in outside of the shower to play music.

-lofting your bed is super nice bc it gives you a little more privacy from your roommate (and privacy is so so so rare in college, esp in a dorm). it’s also nice bc if you’re up there and a friend walks into your room (which is bound to happen with dorm living, which is where i’m assuming ur living as a first-year) they won’t immediately see you, which gives you a few seconds to get ur shit together before they see you.

-HOWEVER!! there are a few downsides to lofting ur bed. the major one is that it’s a pain in the ass to not only get up there, but also to lug your laptop/charger/snacks/etc up there, and once you’re up u probably aren’t gonna wanna come down. also, i don’t know if you drink, (which btw totally cool if you don’t!!), but there was definitely one time where i was too drunk to climb into my bed (i know, i know, several bad choices were made that night and i regret all of them), but thankfully my roommate last year was a fucking goddess though (a definite Mom Friend) and pulled all my sleeping stuff down to the floor lol. it’s rare that something like that happens, but it’s definitely something u wanna take into consideration.

-college is infinitely emotionally taxing. face masks and shower bath-bombs (you put them on the floor of your shower and they slowly dissolve and release whatever scent they are) do LOADS to make u feel better. face masks are also good bonding with friends!!

-some other self-care college tips: cafes will usually have either hot apple cider in the fall, or you can get steamed milk with vanilla in it and it’s very soothing and gentle and calming. i got it a lot when i was sick just bc it was warm and not difficult to stomach.

-also baking. if you get a few friends and bake something, it is 1) bound to be hilarious and 2) everyone who walks by will love you. we once made cinnamon buns, except instead of individual ones we made one big disgusting MegaBon, and we still talk about it to this day. it’s the name of our group chat lmaooo

-you can literally never have too much storage. plastic bins, crates, etc. never too much.

-you will leave college with so much more stuff than what you came with. holy shit. you will also get so many t-shirts??? see above. you’ll need storage.

-college is also the definition of ‘Everything is Happening All The Time’, and ur probably gonna make friends who try and do Everything. it took me super long to internalize the fact that it’s okay to like, say no to doing something and take a nap instead. not all the time, sometimes its good to force urself out of your room, but you can stay in on a saturday every once in a while! it doesn’t matter.

-that being said, do try and go out of your comfort zone a little!! i was definitely not the type to do this in high school, but these days i’ll sometimes go to frat parties!! they’re actually really fun when you go with friends (and always go with friends!!!). it doesn’t even necessarily need to be parties either. audition for a capella. stage manage a show. do a club sport. there’s so much you can do!! (i actually didn’t follow my own advice here last year, i was too terrified to do a lot of things. i did theatre though, which ended up taking up most of my time anyway, but i still wish i had done more, hence why i’m doing this program right now! don’t be like first-year me. be better!)

-HOWEVER here are some (frat) party tips: girls can usually get into parties much easier than guys can, but either way don’t try to go out until around october/late september. the first few weeks back are for upperclassmen catching up with friends . go with a group, and STAY with your group. please. no girl left behind. they usually only serve shitty beer, and ofc you should keep your eyes on it the whole time. if you put it down, just go get another one instead of picking that one up again. also, invest in a shitty coat/gross pair of shoes specifically to wear to the frats. the floors are gross, and you’re probs gonna end up storing your jacket behind a trash can in the winter bc it’s too fucking hot inside the room to keep it on. (is this coat thing just a bucknell thing?? this might just be a bucknell thing).

-more drinking/etc/stuff: know your rights. RAs are not allowed to look through drawers/open closets when doing room searches, so if you have wine or anything, make sure it’s hidden in somewhere they’re not allowed to touch.

-THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT: if someone has drank too much, BACKPACK THEM. get them into bed while wearing a filled up backpack. it prevents people from rolling over and choking on their vomit. i cannot emphasize how important it is for you to backpack someone. if you can, stay with them to make sure they’re okay. also, don’t be afraid to let them throw up before they go to bed. it helps. they’ll usually feel better.

-if you can, get a job that lets you sit down. receptionist, librarian, etc. these are the best, bc sometimes you’ll get the chance to study or get paid for doing nothing. also? receptionist looks SUPER good on a resume. also? money is nice.

-LOCK YOUR DOOR!!!!! I LEARNED THIS THE HARD WAY WHEN SOME WEIRD SENIOR BOY WALKED INTO MY ROOM DRUNK AT 3AM AND WOULDN’T LEAVE. also, you’ll make friends in the first week that you won’t necessarily want to be friends with later on, but they won’t get that message lol. again, lock your door (learned that the hard way, too)

-for future semesters, if you can’t get into a class right away it REALLY helps to email the professor!!! seriously, 9 times out of 10 they are more than happy to let an extra person in, because there are always students who drop the class within the first week or two. that’s how i got into astronomy my first semester, and i’m now a teacher’s assistant for it. so. really, it helps.

-the best way to be better friends with people is to just, get meals with them. honestly. make a group chat with some people and whenever ur getting dinner or lunch or whatever just throw out a ‘hey anyone wanna get food with me??’ text. 90% of the time someone will come with you.

-speaking of meals tho, ik this is the number 1 thing people tend to say, but it’s tRUE. nobody cares if you eat alone. it too me SO LONG to internalize this, but it’s totally fine to do!! it’s actually really nice sometimes, you can bring homework or your laptop and get some work done. it’s not even with meals, either! you can study alone! you can walk places alone! you can go to the gym alone! i was always terrified of being seen alone bc i thought people were gonna think i didn’t have friends or w/e dumb thing my anxiety had me feeling, (i still struggle with that lmao) but in reality you just look independent and cool!!! also, it helps to be content in the fact that you have friends and it doesn’t matter if people THINK you don’t.

-get a reusable water bottle. i got a plastic one for like 12 bucks, and i use it DAILY. if ur walking a lot, it helps keep you hydrated. also, it gives you something to do in class. also, you can personalize it with stickers and stuff (you can do the same with a laptop case). i p much take mine with me EVERYWHERE.

-this was also hard for me to internalize, but u gotta remember the fact that it’s okay not to be who u were in high school. like, i gave up some of the things i was into in high school in favor of some other things, and it took me awhile to figure out that i wasn’t like, betraying anyone, if that makes sense?? like, i started going to frat parties and actually having FUN at them??? (something i NEVER would have been into in high school, but here we are).

-also, grades are very different in college. i freaked out when i wasn’t getting a 4.0, because that’s who i was in high school, but then i kinda put it in perspective. i ended with a 3.67, which is still dean’s list. you’re not going to be perfect, bc chances are you ended up at a school with people on kinda equal intelligence levels as you. don’t freak out.

okay that’s pretty much it!!! i can def come up with more stuff tailored to certain things/etc if you want me to talk more about this stuff!!! i love giving college advice and talking and helping people feel better about this whole thing bc i know it’s hard and scary

#college advice #college #university #advice #pro tips #Anonymous #im so sorry if ur on mobile and the readmore doesn't work #hopefully this makes up for me disappearing for a few days #alright now back to the void #goodniiiight

43 notes · View notes

themeltedheadaches · 7 years

Note

ALL THE ASKS DO IT unless ur too busy #collegelife love u ❤❤❤❤

LOVE U BOO never too busy for u (also using this to procrastinate on my french composition so)

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

i eat my cereal………………….dry…………..

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

YES that’s literally my life now. i love it but also my nose was running today all the way to get coffee in downtown. i was in THREE LAYERS it is not even DECEMBER

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

answered! :)

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

if i’m going to be a bitch and just get plain coffee, i’m gonna get it black bc otherwise i’ll just have a white mocha or a cappuccino or something (the ppl at the campus coffeeshop know who i am. they know my order. “one sin-ful latte coming up!” thank u for fueling my Addition.) i take my tea with milk and sugar if it’s black tea ((earl gray)) or with honey if it’s green tea. if it’s white tea i’ll sometimes have it with sugar, and if it’s something like peppermint or lavender or chamomile i’ll just have it plain. IM A PICKY BITCH

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

i used to be! but now i like it.

6: do you keep plants?

YES pls pray for them

7: do you name your plants?

answered! :)

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

poetry! i like to watercolor too, actually, though i left them at home :(

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

YES i miss my car bc that’s when i would have Prime Time to sing and hum to myself or along to whatever song i live for at the moment. (i’m into a musical rn and i can’t yell the lyrics out i’m so ANnoyed Always)

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

answered!

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

i have fucking countless at home……. at college there are quite a few too! as in: “hypothetically, vodka?,” “fuckinG,,,WHAT,” “[blow twice] [slurp sound] [tongue click] noice.,” “SHPEAKERSH OHN!,” “over there! like, over there? over there. over there?,” “just going to go kick some nutria,” and of course, the classic, “same, but jewish.”

12: what’s your favorite planet?

URANUS actually tho it’s uranus. i had to do my planet project on it in the 4th grade and i gave my brother AND mother silent treatment for two days bc they laughed at its name. i’m very protective

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

i saw my favorite puppy on campus again today!! he’s grown so much!! also my poetry professor’s wife had a successful surgery! #GoMeredith

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

SO MESSY………………….listen. @michelle i’ve seen ur room, and i would just accept that that is how we live now and it’s fine. it would also be aesthetic as fuck tho tbh. full of yarn and animal fur. and books. and junk food #RIFP

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

if saturn’s rings were a meter long, they would be 10000 times thinner than a razorblade! what the fuckkkkkkkkkkk

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

UHHHHH fucking;;;;;;;;what how am i supposed to #represent my italian fmaily with this DISGUSTING question,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, jk i fuckig love risotto, just ur basic bitch peas and cheese risotto and i’ll cry. also?? gnocchi!! holy shiiiiiiiit.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

my hair has such good color i’d actually rather shave it all off than dye it :/

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

HHHHHHHH yesterday. LITERALLY yesterday. there was a french club meeting that served cheese and bread! so i took my Good Friend WIliam (who is not in french, unlike me), and we walk into the room, and i say “helLO!” bc that’s good manners, when you’re going to just get food and leave, and it’s dead silent. i get food and leave. william has told everyone in our entire hall twice.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

answered!

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

i’m so biased……….but……..brown………..

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

my brown leather one! it’s actually super fake leather and i got it from target!! but it’s cute and small and somehow fits everything i need to put in it, including 3 beers and my wallet and 2 phones last weekend. i’ve had for 4 years now

22: are you a morning person?

yes! i like waking up early actually

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

go on youtube and waste time, or walk around campus/downtown with friends, or shop!

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

yes

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

my cousin’s RV

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

my brown leather boots! wow there’s a trend here lmao. actually i’ve had two pairs of these bc my first was falling apart?? i used them first in a cosplay……in the 7th grade………..(i was matt from death note and to this day i’m STILL not fucking ashamed, i had the wig and goggles and everything.) i love them and wear them all the time, they’re so comfy and warm and stylish and i feel like a hacker badass everytime i wear them. still to this day.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

bubblegum gives me hives i do Not enjoy it :(

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset!

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

one of my friends down the hall will call things/ppl “cute as pie” completely genuinely!! i love her!!

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

oh yeah

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

i fucking love them thanks end of story. wearing them makes me feel cozy and put together and also atm my dorm floor is Disgusting. i sleep with them when it’s cold and my feet are dry! i have so many fun socks it’s great. i love them. socks are highly underrated.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

my friend and i were driving around evERYWHRE basically, we went from pasadena/san marino to like. hollywood all the way to beverly hills and back and it was wonderful, we stopped 3 times to chase stray cats, take shitty pictures, go to iHop, and almost died several times bc hE SNAPS AND DRIVES at NIGHT on LA FREEWAYS

33: what’s your fave pastry?

croissants, followed by scones, followed by coffeecake

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

bunny the stuffed bunny! she’s pretty large, like as long as my torso! she’s white fabric with colored fluffy bits and very floppy, loose ears. she has green button eyes that i had my grandma sew on bc otherwise she actually scared me a bit when i was a kid, but i loved her anyway bc my great-grandmother sewed her for me in the first place. bunny still lives on my bed at home!

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

YES! i ddon’t use them very often though bc i feel like i should save them for something. rip me

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

stromae hands down

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

clean….i’m so lazy tho

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

sudden loud noises, being startled, being touched physically when i don’t expect it, someone making assumptions about me, being dismissed, being told what i want or what i’m going to do, borrowing something of mine w/o telling me, being interrupted

39: what color do you wear the most?

HONESTLY black bc i’m an emo bitch

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

one i’ve been wearing a lot is the fork ring i got from the portland saturday market! it’s literally the tines of a vintage fork separated from the part you hold, sanded down so it’s round, and looped into a ring shape. i fidget with it a lot and it reminds me of my mom and step-dad, bc i got it when i was with them. i wear it mostly everyday tbh

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

new american best friend by olivia gatwood in general, or thick as thieves by megan whalen turner when i re-read it out loud to my mom on the ride up to college

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

yeeeeeeS i have several! the bistro, which is on campus: it’s so comfortable, it has couches everywhere and board games and so many books and zines and the walls are half chalkboard so there’s always art or snark everywhere. the music is super eclectic (it was lorde yesterday, today when i went in it was old-school 90s rap), plus it’s student run so the coffee and pastries and food are SO GOOD. the archive, which is downtown, is really boujee as fuck but it’s SO COOL. it’s so fucking aesthetic, with brown leather stools and uncomfortable booths and vintage books and stuff everywhere. for half the day, it’s a coffeeshop, and after 7, it becomes a bar. then back home, of course, coffee bean and tea leaf is the classic

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

half my hall when we went star tripping at the start of the year!

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

honestly the last time it was genuine was probably around…….january? i was in so much emotional pain and grief, but i was surrounded by family who loved me and were in that same pain and were so happy i was with them to help and be there with them. i wasn’t serene per say, or at peace, but there was this equilibrium….

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

yes!

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

my RA told me this one this morning: did you hear about the explosion in the cheese factory in france this morning? de-brie everywhere!

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

tomatoes

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

spiders, YES

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

i do…………………….. it was the soundtrack to romeo et juliette (2010)

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

everything; stickers, pressed flowers, rocks, receipts

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

the easiest one is when i think of my roommate, davey the dog’s barking cover of “do the hustle”

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

no, yes, no, no, it was okay

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

ME, BITCH

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

chugged an an entire pitcher of water to prove i could, three times

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

genuineness! vulnerability! eye contact! fidgeting!

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

made me feel PUMPED, and of course i did

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

i am both

59: what’s your favorite myth?

uHHHHHHHHHH i love the myth of beowulf actually bc i had to do a project on it once, i have a soft spot for it, i love all myths tho wtf

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

YES,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, recently some of my favorites are the entirety of a montage of a dream deferred by langston hughes, “totem sonnets” by sherman alexie, “on earth we’re briefly gorgeous” by ocean vuong, “one art” by elizabeth bishop

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

stupid gifts are nonexistent :/

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

noooo

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

yes lmao…….i kinda leave them be but i don’t like it if i let someone borrow them and they trash them uGH

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

Pitch Black

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

YES

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

morning glories, lavender, baby’s breath!

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

very good, thankfully, bc i am in oregon

68: what’s winter like where you live?

in LA, it’s cold and sweet and late and breathless and i adore it

69: what are your favorite board games?

jenga, clue, ??

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

NONONONONO

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

peppermint for mornings, earl gray for evenings!

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

yes, sadly

73: what are some of your worst habits?

biting the skin around my fingers, bouncing my knees incessantly, procrastinating on my french compositions……

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

well there’s this amazing person who i met in freshman year german…….;)

75: tell us about your pets!

i WISH

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

yes :(

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

pink of course

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

i am the true hateclub: i don’t react. do not give them power. they Feed off of your Hatred

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

get me flowers, surprise me with chocolate, come up to me and compliment me on my writing, etc!!

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

at home my walls are a soft orangey-peach, which is picked bc i love it. here, my walls are very very white, which i did not pick, but am neutral towards.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

circuit-board chips busted open

82: are/were you good in school?

ehhhhhhh

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

MELODRAMA

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

yes! a minimalistic double-delight rose for my great-grandmother, “love ya!” in my grandpa’s handwriting, maybe a nutshell with a crown over it (for the “king of infinite space” bit in hamllet), possibly “soyez réaliste, demandez l’impossible!” (be realistic, demand the impossible!) from the french student revolution in the 60s

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

somewhat, def hawkeye or the young avengers bc i’m basic :/

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

the only one i’ve rlly ever listened to is fucking danger days, so i worship them obviously

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

i think ppl should make their own agendas :/ however, i have deeply loved secondhand lions, up, moonlight, the grand budapest hotel, and other basic bitch things

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

impressionism!! aaaaaaa!!! also just shove me in front of abstract art and i’ll fall for it!!!

89: are you close to your parents?

so so so so close to my mom and step-dad, on okay terms with my dad

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

listen to me. I LOVE SEATTLE. art! fish market! weird side streets! mean street art! bitchy coffee!! neon everywhere!! a big fuckin needle in the sky!

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

ITALY THIS SUMMER IM SO EXCITED i’m gonna meet all my mom’s friends from her semester abroad that she’s kept, i’m gonna see what she saw when she was my age, i’m gonna see where my dad’s family is from maybe if we go south???, i’m gonna see all the places and things she used to tell me about to get me to dream big and want to see the world and experience what’s out there!! aaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

depends on the pasta

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

down bc i’m fucking lazy and also inept when it comes to doing things with hair

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

my friend across the hall from me, who is now 19 years of bitchiness!

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

stay in, study, maybe go to a kickback tho

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

lol i put them off until my computer ceases to function altogether

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

zodiac obviously

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

fucking…….summer?? i did!

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

“feelings” by hayley kiyoko, “vacation town” by the front bottoms, “february” by beach bunny, “hard feelings/loveless” by lorde, “moon river” by henri mancini, “let me in” by flor, “a million miles away” by the plimsoles, “girls like me” by bonnie hayes, “love my way” by the psychedelic furs, the entire legend of zelda soundtrack, “place, je passe” from the mozart l’opera rock soundtrack, etc etc

#ask

1 note · View note