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hellomynameisbisexual · 3 years

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There is no one universal sign of bisexuality in males. All men are different whether they are bisexual, gay, straight, or asexual. There may be a few common traits but these traits may wildly vary from person to person. In this blog post we will briefly summarise sexuality, explore what to do if you, or your partner is bisexual, and then outline a few common signs of bisexuality in males.

What is sexuality?

Sexuality is not about who you have sex with, or how often you have it. Sexuality, or sexual orientation, describes the types of thoughts, and feelings, that an individual has for others.

What is bisexual?

A bisexual person is someone who can be romantically attracted, or sexually attracted to both men and women.

How do I know if I am bisexual?

In 1948, Dr Alfred Kinsey created the world-famous Kinsey Scale. Kinsey believed that sexuality was not binary. Instead, he suggested that sexuality should be viewed as a spectrum with everybody having their own place on the scale. On one end of the scale there is exclusive heterosexuality. On the other end of the scale, there is exclusive homosexuality. People exist somewhere between 0 and 6. The full scale is below.

0 – Exclusively heterosexual

1 – Predominantly heterosexual

2 – Mainly heterosexual but sometimes homosexual

3 – Bisexual

4 – Mainly homosexual but sometimes heterosexual

5 – Predominantly homosexual

6 – Exclusively homosexual

As you can see from Dr Kinsey’s scale, categories 2, 3 and 4 would all be classified as ‘bisexuality’. This means that if you feel as equally attracted to men, as you do women, or mostly attracted to one sex but are occasionally attracted to the other sex, you could still self identity as being bisexual. There is nothing abnormal about not being equally attracted to both sexes. In fact, the massive 2013 Pew Research LGBT Survey found that over 80% of bisexuals in committed relationships were with somebody of the opposite sex. Some bisexual men may have a preference for men whilst other’s might have a stronger preference for women. Both are completely normal!

Should I come out as bisexual?

Coming out as a bisexual man can often be just as challenging as coming out as gay. Insensitive comments about bisexual men being ‘greedy’, ‘indecisive’ or ‘wanting to have their cake, and eat it’ are sometimes made when a bisexual man comes out. Moreover, the depictions of bisexual men in the media are rarely positive. They tend to perpetuate negative stereotypes around promiscuity. Therefore it’s no wonder why Stonewall data shows that just 14% of bisexuals are open to everyone in their family, while 32% say they can’t be open about their sexual orientation with any of their friends.

Despite all of this, coming out can be extremely liberating. For many bisexual men a weight is lifted if their shoulders, and the finally feel able to be themselves after coming out. However, before coming out it’s important to make sure that you are in a safe environment, or can get to one. This is vital if you are young, or in a vulnerable position.

How do I come out as bisexual?

There is no one predefined way to come out. For some men it can be incredibly smooth. For other men, it can be messy. You may feel comfortable being open about your sexual orientation and gender identity with some people, but not with others.

The one common experience all queer men share when coming out is that they have to do it over and over again. LGBT individuals do not come out once. They are constantly ‘coming out’ to new friends, extended family, new co-workers, and sometimes strangers on the internet!

Before actually telling anybody, take a few moments to consider – who you want to tell first, and how. Many bisexual men tell a supportive friend first, and then move onto telling other friends, and family afterwards. However, you may wish to tell a parent first over the phone, or in a letter if you feel that they could be the least receptive upon hearing the news.

Your family might be shocked, worried or find it difficult to accept at first. But remember, their first reaction isn’t necessarily how they will feel forever. In time, most families see beyond their son’s sexuality and continue loving them regardless. They might just need a bit of time to process the revelation.

What are the signs of bisexuality in males?

As mentioned at the start of this blog post, there is no one universal sign of bisexuality in males. All men are different whether they are bisexual, gay, heterosexual , or asexual. However, these are a few of the most common examples as identified by experts and bisexual men who have reflected on their journey to sexual freedom.

Past Behaviour

Past behaviour can be a key indicator of bisexuality. If a man has voluntarily engaged in same-sex sexual experiences at any point in their lifetime it could suggest that they may be bisexual. This could be as small as a passionate kiss at university, or mutual masturbation in the army, or evem anal sex whilst under the influence of alcohol. Despite identifying as ‘straight’ during, and following these acts, this behaviour suggests that there is at least a small degree of same-sex attraction. On the Kinsey Scale, a man like this could be predominantly heterosexual (category 1), or mainly heterosexual but sometimes homosexual (category 2). Remember, the categories on the Kinsey Scale are fluid and can change constantly.

Homophobic Behavior

Modern society is more liberal now that it ever has been. Many men may not understand homosexuality, but they understand that who somebody chooses to sleep with should not matter to them. However, some bisexual men who haven’t come out may be extremely homophobic. This behaviour is directly linked to years of sexual repression. Sometimes closeted bisexual men feel that by being homophobic their friends and family will not realise that they themselves are not completely heterosexual. This homophobia can manifest itself in passive ways through the use of derogatory slang in the presence of others, or become more extreme. Gay bashing, and aggression towards other men who are perceived to be gay are just two examples of this.

Fantasies about other men

Every man wishes that they could be somebody else now and again. Who wouldn’t want to have David Beckham’s right foot, or a body like David Gandy? For bisexual men, these thoughts become sexual fantasies. Not only that, but a bisexual man might even fantasise about men they see on the street, or on the internet. That man with the joggers you just walked past could consume your thoughts for hours!

Tactile with other men

If you’re reading this as a woman, think about whether your partner is tactile with you? Men regularly touch each other when they shake hands, hug, or hi-5. However, a bisexual man may be especially tactile with other men. Some examples are frequent arm touching and leg stroking. Your partner may even offer to massage his male friends’ shoulders. In isolation these actions are fairly innocuous. However, if your partner regularly does this, or seems to find it particularly pleasurable then this could be another sign of bisexuality.

Disinterest in sex

When a man appears increasingly disinterested in heterosexual intimacy, there is a small chance that it could be because they are bisexual. The chance is small because they could also be having an affair, or be in love with another woman.

However, if you are in a relationship with a man that you think could be bisexual, this would be one of the more obvious signs. It’s not uncommon for men who have been in a monogamous relationship with a woman for several years to become dissatisfied over time. Instead, they may yearn to spend time with a man due to their innate sexual desire, or past behaviours.

Spending more time with attractive men at a sports club, at work, or at bars could be a short term fix for them. Pressuring their female spouse into trying pegging, or anal play could also be a short term solution. However, this may not be enough for them moving forwards.

Staring intensely at other men

man doing a workout

Humans can’t help but stare at people. Where do you think the phrase ‘people-watching’ came from? Sometimes people stare out of sheer admiration, or horror. Sometimes people stare out of lust. Either way, if you can’t help but stare at other men and compliment them then it’s a sign that you could be bisexual.

But if you find yourself only staring at men who are more muscular, or taller than you, and you have always had hang-ups about your size, then this staring could purely be linked to insecurities. Only you can tell which scenario applies most accurately to you!

Watching gay porn

gay hot kissing

Conciously choosing to watch gay porn between two consenting men is a sign that you may be bisexual. Porn categories are organised in such a way that you actively have to seek out gay porn videos, as opposed to just coming across them as you woud any other heterosexual category. When watching gay porn if you find yourself getting aroused, or wishing that you could trade places with the actors then it’s quite likely that you could be bisexual.

Sex feels right with men and women

If you have had sex with men and women, and found the experiences to be equally intimate and enjoyable then this could mean that you are bisexual. For most homosexual men (category 5 or 6 on the Kinsey Scale), the thought of sleeping with a woman is inconcievable. The same is true for heterosexual men (category 0 or 1 on the Kinsey Scale) if you asked them to consider sleeping with another man.

These are just 8 of the signs of bisexuality in males. However, as we’ve said previously, there are very few hard and fast signs that make it obvious. Only the man in question can know his true thoughts and feelings – and that’s okay!

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al-n-cartoons · 4 years

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Character Notes for "The Multiverse in a Blender"

Some of these characters are fairly similar in personality and how they speak, so I've been trying to figure out each way their personalities divulge. Please add onto this if you come up with anything (it would be helpful!).

Ben Tennyson: Easy go lucky, cheery, a person-pleaser, has a bit of a vanity streak, is sporty, is dorky, is very overworked, gets bored easily (I'm writing him as having ADHD and OCD), is a fantastic actor/schemer/opertunist. Puts his work above his health. Has an eidetic memory. Is an Aroflux omnisexual. His fashion tastes are a blend of punk and sporty, but the former isn't very socially acceptable in most settings so he tends to keep it to himself.

Rex Salazar: Is sporty, funny, and a bit temperamental. Has a definit rebellious streak and is impulsive, but has a rock-solid understanding of right and wrong. Basically, he'd be the one to punch someone in the face if he felt they deserved it. Is a heterosexual.

Bubbles: Overly excitable, naive, loves life and everything in it. Isn't very book smart, but is a force on the battle field (brute force, like Rex and Buttercup). Is a follower. Loves animals and violence (gets along well with Rex). She's a bit fascinated with the darker aspects of life, but is so cheery that most people view her aggression on the battle field as being ditzy. Is family and friend oriented. Is an aromantic asexual.

Buttercup: Has clearer morals than Bubbles and, although she is a definite punk, is overall less violent than Bubbles. Is competitive (hello, Ben and Rex) and wants to be sporty ("Ben, HOW DO YOU PLAY SOCCER!?). Is a bit rebellious and rude, but does wind up doing as Blossom instructs. Admires Ben's prowess in battle, and is learning from him how to tone down her destructiveness (which is a trait nearly all of her siblings naturally possess per the nature of their powers). Has never thought of her sexuality, and doesn't care to label herself. If she likes a guy, gal, etcetera, she likes 'em.

Blossom: the Sadsap charged with keeping her haywire siblings in check. Loves books, romance novels, and baking. Tries to be nice, but is also a realist (That painting is very colorful, Bubbles, but maybe we should keep the red inside of the people, okay?). Is very interested in healthy eating and loves trying to incorporate healthy stuff into her experimental baked goods (she doesn't use sugar or lipids very much, so her cooking tends to flop per taste and failure to hold in moisture). Is quizzical, sharp, and an opportunist. Isn't afraid to pummel someone if she felt there was need enough ("either you give me the code to disarm the bomb, or I turn your face into pulp.") She is a complete gay-panic.

Bliss: The oldest and second to least emotionally mature sister of the bunch. She tries to lead, but doesn't really know what she's doing. Loves to fight and can access her powers easily, but can't keep them from blowing up on people. Is prone to emotional outbursts and, per the nature of her powers, this is to her detriment. Isn't sociable and hates crowded places. Loves her siblings to bits and loves to bring Bubbles pieces of her foes (rocks, scales, strips of metal that had impaled them) to commemorate her victories. Thinks Danny's the sweetest little thing ("You like space? We can go there, like, right this second. 1-2-3 *zooms away, leaving a confused Danny behind*"). Ace and aro.

Dexter: The adopted brother of Bliss, Buttercupe, Blossom, and Bubbles. Is short-tempered and tends to sulk. Is inventive and technical; a fantastic creator of weaponry and anything of the like. Has a one-sided crush on Ben, but denies so much as liking the guy. Loves coffee but doesn't like to eat much, going so far as creating nutrition pills so as to bypass the affair ("The activity which you are suggesting, Blossom, is a waste of time.") Is a homosexual.

Danny Phantom: Is snarky and has a sardonic personality. Is more serious than some of his cohorts (looking at you, Rex and Bubbles) but loves to wisecrack and is VERY sassy. Is also extremely platonic, loving and trusting his two best friends (Sam and Tucker) with his life. Has a dorky flair for astronomy, and can recognize essentially every constellation in the sky (as well as quite a few of their stories). Has a crush in a character from his hometown, Valerie. Would punch someone in the face as payback, then forgive them for whatever they'd done to upset him or someone else. Is a trans heterosexual (bicurious, perhaps biromantic, but is not bisexual). Has claustrophobia.

Zak Saturday: Exceedingly compassionate and family-oriented, as well as highly skilled in hand-to-hand combat and strategizing. Is very ingenious. Enjoys teasing and joking around, but will also nag someone if he thinks they're being idiotic (this makes it so that he and Rex are a bit at odds with one another). Is also great at finding common ground/compromising. Basically, he'd be the one fixing someone's broken nose and explaining to them where they went wrong, then give them a lollipop. Is dating Ben (they started at age 12) and gets along great with Blossom. Is pansexual.

Connie Maheswaran: Is both people smart and book smart, but lacks quite a bit of street knowledge. Is a considerable combatant, and has a quick wit, but would rather focus on the task at hand than joke around (she calls Danny and Ben out over this). Is kind and understanding, but not a pushover. Has a good head in her shoulders, and is good with details. After their universes fuse, she may take her various skills (hand-to-hand combat, acute intellect, interest in outer space) and apply them to the Plumbers as a long-term career.

Dipper Pines: Family-oriented, not very sociable with people of his age group. Is insecure around the others listed here (baring Mabel, for obvious reasons); sees himself as inferior since he's an intellectual and is incapable on the actual battle field (his words, not mine). Is incredibly smart, a technical thinker, and has a fantastic memory. Is a bi disaster half the time. LOVES to strategize and plot out the how and why for any problem. Loves gaming. Bites off more than he can chew. Keeps Mabel from hurting herself more often than either of them are willing to admit ("Mabel, that's a garbage disposal, not a slide. Mabe-MABEL!!!?") is a panromantic heterosexual. Has a long-distance relationship with Pacifica, but both of them are equally supportive so it's worked out thus far.

Mabel Pines: Family and friend oriented, is a bi disaster. Is an obscene romantic, which tends to leave her with her heart crushed, but she bounces back after a day or two. Is considerably strong, considering the fact that she's entirely human with no combat training, and is learning how to use hand-held weapons. Isn't very intuitive, but is very interpersonally smart. Is an animal lover, owning a pet pig and cat ("Dipper, look, my babies are cuddling!") (I didn't add the cat in, guys; episode one).

Steven Universe: Is the human teddy bear. He is a pacifist, meaning that he refuses to start fights or violence but isn't afraid to save someone from another or themselves. Tries to fix every problem but his own. Is a compulsive overexplainer and apologizer. His best friend is a lion, so people tend not to mess with him. Also, Lion likes to just lie atop Steven's van when they go places. He is compassionate, caring, loving, trusting, and has mommy issues (and also slight daddy issues, but barely). Trauma baby who only wants his girlfriend to succeed and for her to be happy (preferably with him nearby, but he tries to give her a respectful distance). He is a panromantic asexual.

Is that everyone? I think that's everyone.

Edit: I forgot Steven, guys. Had to edit him in.

#ben #ben 10 #Mabel Pines #Dipper Pines #Danny Phantom #Rex Salazar #Zak Saturday #Ben x Zak #PPG #Blossom #Buttercup #Bubbles #Bliss #Steven Universe

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mystiika · 3 years

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re; chris’ sexual + romantic orientation

so i feel like there’s two main questions people have about this: oo1. why don’t i just say he’s bi or bi-curious oo2. what even is heteroflexible ( side note: it can absolutely be harmful depending on usage but it depends on the situation imo )

to put it as simply as possible, it’s mainly out of respect. as a bi man, i already have to deal a lot with biphobic tendencies or bierasure. within this, the main one is that bisexual people are just people who haven’t made up their mind yet about if they want to be straight or gay. so part of it is the fact that chris doesn’t want to add fuel to the fire & contribute to the conversation. he doesn’t want to use bi in any part of his identity until he’s sure that it’s the right fit.

it’s also out of respect for other men who like men specifically. i mean this in the sense that any time a guy approached with non-platonic intentions, he’d get this sense of obligation to tell them that he’s not really interested in guys all that much & that it has nothing to do with them. so he’d be worried that he’d get called fake or like he’s just saying he’s bi to get attention etc. it would sound like he’s using the label but it’s kind of like an empty promise bc for all he knows, that one guy is never going to come along.

he’s not all all opposed to the idea of dating a guy. he’s just kind of indifferent about it but it doesn’t feel right to him to explore that for the most part, knowing that there’s a high chance that he’s just going to waste the other guy’s time.

if you want to get into studies about heteroflexibility then you could say that heteroflexibility as an orientation is akin to categories 1 & 2 on the kinsey scale ( 0 being “exclusively heterosexual” & 6 being “exclusively homosexual.” ). however, because it involves ( or can involve ) attraction &/or acts with people of the same sex, some critics have argued that being heteroflexible is just a subsection of bisexuality but i’m not sure i totally agree. there is still the school of thought that people get the benefit of calling themself heteroflexible instead of bisexual to avoid the stigma which i think has some truth to it but i’m not sure it’s a 100% guarantee of what’s happening.

there was also some research done by héctor carrillo & amanda hoffman that highlights the main difference between bisexual & heteroflexibility as being that “heteroflexible people sometimes claim that they are not usually attracted to people of the same gender”. which, in this case, i would categorise chris as being part of.

i suppose a better way to do explain it for chris would be “bi-curious without feeling even the slightest need to pursue it & identifies straight when asked” but it’s shorter to just say heteroflexible. & i personally see a definite line between heteroflexible & bi-curious, the difference being that bi-curious implies confusion or active interest in finding out if they’re bi ( or at the least having some sort of same-sex thoughts or fantasies even if there’s no intention to follow up ) whereas heteroflexible is kind of like a stepping stone but basically means you’re open to it without feeling the need to explore it. it’s also possible he’s demi-bi? but that also doesn’t feel quite right because he has ( what i’ll call ) expected immediate attraction to women & doesn’t need a deep emotional connection in order to get there. who knows, maybe i’ll change it to bi if he ever does end up falling for a guy but it’s hard to say.

at the end of the day, i don’t think it’s especially harmful to use heteroflexible in this context because while some people might be using it because of internalised biphobia, it doesn’t add to societal biphobia by further perpetuating the idea that “bisexuals just haven’t made up their mind”. that being said once you have established some sort of attraction to the same sex in whatever way, then that’s where it becomes more of an ethical question & you should really just identify bi even just to yourself, there’s no reason not to.

#i deleted this to redefine chris as bi curious but it really just doesn't feel like it fits ?? idk it's hard to say #so this is what i'm sticking with atm but may change in the future #metas — the gap between understanding & misunderstanding can best be bridged by thought #c. lee. character study — if you don’t know where you are going‚ any road can take you there

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dumb-hat · 4 years

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Characteristics: Evander Winsome

He’s almost always sporting at least some scruff. Sometimes he lets it grow out into an actual beard, depending on his whim.

♦ BODY FEATURES:

Evander has a fairly normal collection of scars for a man his age that gets up to the odd bit of adventuring, mischief and thrill chasing. Most notably, there’s a dueling scar near his left collarbone, an old, faded, nearly invisible scar running from his left elbow to the palm of his hand, and what looks like a scar from an old gunshot on his hip.

As a kid, Evander’s studies were really erratic, as his education mostly came from whatever books his brother could scrounge for him. Later in life, his adoptive family enrolled him in the best education their considerable wealth could afford. While he’s not currently much of a scholar, he’s prone to wheeling off in wild directions when something catches his attention, so there’s a lot of subjects that he knows an odd amount about, and a smaller number of really weird subjects that he’s studied at length. ♦ LIVING SITUATION: Lives alone | Lives with parents/guardian | Lives with significant other | Lives with a friend | Lives with a group of people (Free Company) | Drifter | Homeless | Other (…)

He kind of tends to just float from place to place, flitting between crashing on a friend’s couch or bed, or renting an inn room somewhere. He has an apartment, but given how he’s prone to wander, if he sticks around too long, he gets kind of itchy. When that happens, it’s not too uncommon for him to let a friend apartment sit or crash there semi-long term if they need a place to stay. His room at his Free Company headquarters is a ramshackle thing, mostly full of unpacked boxes, so he’ll stay there from time to time, but not usually for too long of a stretch. ♦ PARENTS/GUARDIAN: Mother | Father | Adoptive | Foster | Grandparents | Family friend | Other (…)

Evander throws himself into things, often without a lot of thought toward consequences. This has been a big problem in the past, so he’s trying to be smarter about it and... it seems to be working, which has him a little worried. Nothing’s collapsing around him. People seem happy. He seems happy.

Honestly, it makes him a little nervous, but being nervous isn’t going to help anyone. He’d much rather be happy than nervous, so he’ll stick with that.

He doesn’t usually spend much time talking about any of this to people who aren’t involved. It all makes sense in his head, but people tend to make faces, ask questions and suddenly it seems a lot more complicated than it actually is.

♦ I’VE BEEN: In Love | Hurt | Sick | Abused | Other (…) I mean, yeah. Like, this covers a lot of ground, right? He’s been all kinds of stuff. ♦ I HAVE A(N): Learning Disorder | Personality Disorder | Mental Disorder | Anxiety Disorder | Eating Disorder | Substance-related Disorder | Other (…) Though he lacks the language to really discuss it, Evander suffers from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and executive dysfunction. I mentioned that a while ago in this ask (skip midway down to question 36, if that’s all you’re interested in) and dug into what it’s like for him here, in this post for the FFXIVWrite 2020 Challenge.

Evander drinks a lot. He’s actually kind of toned it down over the last few months, but it’s still a whole thing. I’m not inclined to say that he needs to go to meetings or anything, but it probably wouldn’t hurt to cut back and maybe find some more constructive ways to deal with problems.

Rules: BOLD what applies to your muse, ITALICIZE what applies under specific circumstances. Remember to REPOST. Feel free to add to the list. Tagged by: @kittkaleen, @thefreelanceangel, @luck-and-larceny, @twin-moons-ffxiv. I think that’s everyone. Sorry if I missed anyone! Tagging: So, uh... It took me a while to get to this one. I’m not gonna tag anyone specific because I’ll be honest, at this point, I don’t know who all had done it and hasn’t. Still though, if you haven’t done it yet, feel free to do it and tag me back so I can see your answers!

#meme #thing #i'll tag it better later #haha just kidding no I probably won't #I'm so bad at tags.

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taskuraketti · 4 years

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Asexuality didn't start being considered part of the LGBT community until after 2010. And legally asexuality isn't grouped with us at all. In fact, the recent health care discrimination and the employment protections never once even vaguely mentioned asexuals. How do you guys get away with lying about so much? Very Trumpian. I said this therefore it must be true is such a weird way to go about life.

Clown?? Is that you?? Or is it another gatekeeper?? Was the clown car comfy for y’all to camp outside my blog all night? Anyway, I’m feeling petty and all of these dumb anons have pushed me over the edge so here have some sources!

Here’s an academic article from 1983 which was investigating the relationship between sexual orientation and mental health. Participants could select heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, or asexual! (https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00224498309551174 ) So in the 80s it was a sexual orientation included for research on sexual orientation. (So my lil study is even more not bunk and yes I’m still annoyed about that)

In 1979 there was a paper which reimagined the Kinsey Scale as more of a 2 dimensional map which included asexuality, defined as exhibiting little to no home-eroticism nor hetero-eroticism. This paper can be found in this book https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=zLgTAwAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false which covers a lot of asexuality’s history, which does exist because we didn’t just pop into existence ten years ago. Regardless of your opinion on the Kinsey Scale, this is evidence that they have been included in the LGBT+ community for decades. Also here are some pictures which also highlight our inclusion.

And even if, for the sake of your argument, ace people wanting to be included only started 10 years ago, that doesn’t mean we didn’t exist before that or that we shouldn’t be included today.

Now onto your legal “argument”. You are aware that America isn’t the only country in the world right? And that decisions made by the American Supreme Court doesn’t actually have much impact on the rest of the world nor does it reflect the attitudes of the rest of the world? That’s ignoring the fact that they made that decision because of the ramifications of gender discrimination acts rather than anything really about sexuality. However, lets stay in America for now. The Sexual Orientation Non-Discrimination Act (SONDA) in New York from 2002 mentions asexuality as a sexual orientation so there’s even some legal precedence in America!!

That being said, America is not the only country in the world and it’s not the one I live in right now. I will quote a UK government survey/study about LGBT+ people “A 2017 LGBT survey conducted by the Government of the United Kingdom found that, although only two per cent of its more than 108,000 respondents were asexual, they have the joint-lowest (with pansexuals) average life satisfaction of any sexual orientation among cisgender respondents, that asexuals are the least comfortable LGBT group in the United Kingdom (among cisgender respondents), and 89 per cent (the highest percentage of any group surveyed) of cisgender asexual respondents were reluctant to be open for fear of negative reactions." (https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/national-lgbt-survey-summary-report/national-lgbt-survey-summary-report ). So as you can see, in the UK asexuals already are members of the lgbt+ community and are included in the relevant legislation as a result. Additionally, here is the definition of sexual orientation from SMART (the Sexual Minority Assessment Research Team) “Sexual orientation has three main dimensions: sexual attraction, sexual behavior, and sexual identity. Sexual attraction refers to the relationship between a person’s gender and the gender(s) of the individuals to whom that person is sexually attracted (for example, whether an individual is attracted to men, women, or both men and women). Sexual behavior refers to the relationship between a person’s gender and the gender(s) of the individuals with whom that person engages in sexual activity (for example, whether an individual has sex partners who are of the same sex, the opposite sex, or both). Sexual identity refers to the way a person self-identifies with a given sexual orientation (for example, how an individual thinks of the individual’s self)”. So, asexuals clearly fit in this definition of sexual orientation, as asexual people are not sexually attracted to any gender. Legislation around the world uses terminology and definitions which include asexuals, even discriminatory legislation.

In terms of saying we are lying, when I’m the only one you’ve been speaking to so technically it would only be one person not “you guys”, we aren’t lying. I have given you facts, assuming you could google and not make other people go to the effort of doing it for you when you’re the one who wants to start a fight. And also calling “us guys” Trumpian is hilarious when the Clown and the Gatekeepers have been coming into my askbox to harass and belittle me, with no sources or facts to back up what they’re saying, relying on them saying it making it true.

#ace discourse #i am a bored academic do not test me

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phanfictioncatalogue · 5 years

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Sexuality Crisis Masterlist

Links Last Checked: March 30th, 2022

1-800-GET-SOME - gorgeousdan

Summary: One night, Chris drunkenly suggested that Dan call a phone sex line to figure out his sexuality. Since then, Dan has been hooked on a person who works there, with a gorgeous deep chuckle and the name of Phil.

A New Blue (ao3) - watergator

Summary: the build up to when dan meets phil, and dan is questioning his sexuality.

A Small Revelation - daniactuallysnuffledthatpopcorn

Summary: high school au where Phil questions his sexuality.

Blurry Stranger (ao3) - phantropolis

Summary: Set in August of 2015, Phil is invited to his high school’s reunion. Afraid of being the only single one in attendance, he convinces Dan to accompany him as his fake ‘boyfriend’ for the week. It’s only when Phil allows his best friend into his childhood life and begins to see him in a romantic light that actual feelings start developing - but it’s highly unlikely that they’ll be reciprocated.

Butterflies - crescendohowell

Summary: Phil liked the way that she made him laugh and that she always smelled like flowers. He understood how other people could like that. Only the the butterflies were never there for him. And he really hated holding her hand. (Or where Phil is aro and doesn’t understand until he meets Dan)

Chicken - phanfics-anonymous

Summary: Dan’s not sure if he’s gay so he asks Phil to experiment with him.

Close Your Eyes and I'll Kiss You (Tomorrow I'll Miss You) (ao3) - SimplyUndead

Summary: Summertime was the best time, if you asked either Dan Howell or Phil Lester. It was sunshine, catching waves, and no worries. When their paths cross, however, that all changes, and before either of them notices, summer becomes much more.

Distress Signals - petewent

Summary: Dan always seems to over think at night. You know, when the lights are out and electronics are out of reach so you’re stuck laying in bed surrounded by your own heart beat and thoughts. And for Dan, this was pretty reoccurring. He seems to discover little things about himself during these moments of honest thinking before lulling off to sleep.

Goodbye Stranger - whalefairyfandom12

Summary: Phil Lester has always felt uncomfortable in his own skin. Making friends doesn’t come easily, and his sexuality is a giant question mark he doesn’t want to answer. Attending a summer camp is the last thing he wants to do, but it’s there he meets the lively, perceptive Dan Howell, who might prove him wrong in more ways than one. As the years go by the two continue their correspondence and become best friends. But some mistakes are irreparable, and Phil is forced to confront the consequences of his actions and decide what it is, exactly, that Dan means to him.

Hidden Behind Straightened Hair - auroraphilealis

Summary: The fives times Dan’s hair was used as a joke to hide his insecurity about his sexuality, and the one time it wasn’t.

I Dare You To Love Me (ao3) - starrywrite

Summary: Dan owns a popular flower shop and has more of a passion for flowers than he does for people. That is, until Phil stumbles into his shop - and consequently into his life as the two develop a fast friendship and Dan finds himself all but infatuated with him. But there’s a problem: Phil’s engaged and Dan is the florist for his wedding. And even more complications arise when Phil begins questioning everything he’s ever known about love - and himself - when he realizes that the path to true love isn’t always… straight.

Kinsey Two - thatsmistertoyou

Summary: The Kinsey scale, also called the Heterosexual–Homosexual Rating Scale, attempts to describe a person’s sexual experience or response at a given time.

Lantern In Your Heart - botanistlester

Summary: Phil is bicurious, so to help him figure out his sexuality, he ends up at a gay club. There, he meets Dan, who helps him out in more ways than one.

Not So Platonic (ao3) - mollieblack

Summary: Fake relationship and Soulmate AU mix where Dan’s sure he’s straight and finds that Phil’s his soulmate. He figures they must just be platonic soulmates, but when Phil’s mum cries because she’s so happy for her son, they decide to play along just for her, and it quickly becomes clear that they’re not just platonic. Now Dan has to go through a sexuality crisis, and figure out how to progress things with Phil, who he’d made it VERY clear to that he wasn’t interested in guys.

Playing Myself (ao3) - spaceyloser

Summary: Dan talks, walks, and runs with the straight boys. From a young age he learned how to properly hide himself, to be one of them. But hiding who you really are for your entire life starts to weigh on you. There is one place where Dan expresses himself, Tumblr. One day he stumbles across a teenage boy's blog, this particular boy has an affiliation with plants. He only wears soft colors and smiles brighter than the sun. Dan and the boy become friends online, friends who flirt a lot, and Dan quickly falls in love, and suspects he feels the same. The only trouble is, this boy lives all the way in England, so Dan will never see him in person, right?

Pride - thespianhowell

Summary: Dan ponders sexuality and publicity and Phan and how much he loves Phil.

Take Your Chances, I’ll Take Mine (ao3) - Phanromaniac, Profrock

Summary: Dan Hates Phil. Phil Lester, the boy who, frustratingly, got the best marks in the class yet never actually studied. Dan’s hands clenched in anger just thinking about it. Phil Lester, who was always surrounded with friends, despite being part of the chess club, debate team, and practically any other nerdy extracurricular activity you could think of. Everyone, even the stereotypical ‘cool kids’ liked, or at least respected him. Dan definitely didn’t hate him because of the way him, biting his lips, didn’t distracted him. Dan definitely didn’t hate him because of the bubbly feeling he didn’t give him in his stomach, because Dan definitely wasn’t gay.

X - phandot

Summary: asexual!phil. some sort of sexuality crisis. friends to lovers.

#phanfictioncatalogue #phanfiction #phanfic #phan #masterlists #sexualitycrisis #sexualitycrisis masterlist

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little-purple-thundercloud · 4 years

Text

A bit about L’yhta Mahre

PLACE IN SOCIETY

✖ FINANCIAL – wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty

L’yhta is quite well-off thanks to her inheritance from her mentors, the sale of items she finds during adventures, and the rewards from levequests. That said, she has essentially no control over her finances, which are handled by the Tower’s majordomo, Volkido, nor does she particularly desire grand luxury. As such, she doesn’t typically have access to, nor employs, these assets, and instead lives a lifestyle of moderate means.

✖ MEDICAL – fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / deceased

L’yhta naturally has a very fast metabolism, and she’s also a professional adventurer; as such, she gets a lot of exercise that keeps her quite fit. She also tends to run around a lot, even when she could just as easily walk.

✖ CLASS OR CASTE – upper / lower / middle / working / unsure

“I’m used to being feared and. Having people keep away from me.” Powerful practicing thaumaturges can parley their status into considerable class if they want to do; she has no interest in such things (and indeed tends to find class structures abhorrent due to what they’ve done to people she cares about), so in practice, she ends up being an anomaly that those who care about social class aren’t quite sure what to do about.

✖ EDUCATION – qualified / unqualified / studying

An arguably abusive training regimen, followed by the fact that magic is effectively her entire life, has given this woman broad-spanning knowledge across a variety of topics.

FAMILY

✖ MARITAL STATUS – married, happily / married, unhappily / engaged / partnered / divorced / widow or widower / separated / single / it’s complicated

"My personal life is a, what do they call it? A trash fire, you know?” L’yhta’s current romantic situation is as a member of a poly pod, though she isn’t romantically involved with everyone in it. However, she also holds a flame for the auri girlfriend she rarely sees and the miqo’te bard that she’s not entirely sure how she feels about (and never has been). She was also briefly married, but that relationship fell apart due to disputes over her polyamorous inclinations.

✖ CHILDREN – has children / no children / wants children / adopted children

L’yhta doesn’t currently want children. Beyond the fact that she feels awkward around them, she feels children are incompatible with the life of an adventurer. She is also increasingly of the opinion that she’s incapable of having children at all, due to an ill-advised experiment in magic years ago.

✖ FAMILY – close with sibling / not close with siblings / has no siblings / siblings are deceased / it’s complicated

As she came from a tribal background, she has several siblings -- five sisters and a brother. Her brother is currently the nunh of that tribe; her sisters view her with anything from naked contempt for abandoning the tribe to benign distaste for "not being useful.” That her skill in magic obviates the need to be skilled at hunting with a bow or chopping down trees is lost on them, or perhaps they’re just jealous.

✖ AFFILIATION – orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by both parents / other

L’yhta was raised within a tribe, and she looked up her father with considerable hero worship. Unfortunately, he died shortly after the Calamity (at the hands of her older brother, no less), and her mother perished a few years later. She’s collected father figures since then -- most notably her mentor in magic, Robert Fletcher, and the Voice of the Tower, Eamont Desormaux.

TRAITS & TENDENCIES

✖ disorganized / organised / in between

Her lab area and notes, and indeed anything involving magic, are meticulously organized. As for the rest of her world -- well, there’s a reason Volkido has a maid clean her apartment daily, and as of yet her partners have yet to complain too vociferously about smallclothes and plates lying in random places around the house.

✖ close-minded / open-minded / in between

L’yhta can be extremely close-minded about certain things (religious zealotry, nobility, class structures, and harming others), but outside of those areas, she’s quite open-minded and accepting of other approaches and ways of life.

✖ cautious / reckless / in between

If there’s a ruin to be scaled or a cave to be plumbed, she’ll already be up or down it before anyone can voice opposition. She does show caution in some instances, in which case you know she’s pretty scared.

✖ patient / impatient / in between

The longer she has to wait for people to plan a course of action, the more fidgety she gets. This is a mage who thrives on action and doesn’t want to wait! She can be patient when it comes to things that require patience (such as alchemy), but she’ll be jumping to something else to stay occupied while the time passes.

✖ outspoken / reserved / in between

While she’s gotten better at holding her tongue over the years, L’yhta is a Big, Open Personality who largely isn’t afraid to speak her mind (unless she’s afraid it’ll wreck one of her relationships).

✖ leader / follower / in between

As much as she proclaims that she’s a terrible leader and she should never be followed, her knowledge combined with her personality put her at the forefront of most situations, and she’s always ready to take charge.

✖ sympathetic / unsympathetic / in between

“Ever since I have known you, you have never lived for yourself.” One could say that L’yhta suffers the Curse of Empathy -- she cares deeply about everyone’s feelings, even that of the world as a whole, and will readily shove any issues she has aside to take care of others.

✖ optimistic / pessimistic / in between

L’yhta is optimistic about the world as a whole; she truly believes that Good will ultimately triumph over Evil, that there will always be Lights in the Darkness, and that Truth, Beauty, Freedom, and Love will win the day. That said, she’s deeply pessimistic about herself and her life, largely feeling like she’s a walking disaster that ruins everything she’s near and that she’s never strong enough, never smart enough, never fast enough, and never wise enough to be a positive in others’ lives.

✖ hardworking / lazy / in between

Throwing herself into her work is one of L’yhta’s primary coping mechanisms for stress and her constant depression and inferiority complex, but even outside of that, she’s driven to improve the state of the Art.

✖ cultured / uncultured / in between

"Oh! And I’m her uncultured ijin girlfriend, you know? It’s great to meet you!” L’yhta has never found much value in “high culture.” This is not the miqo’te to ask about which spoon to use or how best to greet a Hingan noble.

✖ loyal / disloyal / in between

When she feels she has let someone down, L’yhta beats herself up about it. She’s tremendously loyal to everyone she knows, or at least tries to be; when she fails to live up to that ideal in any way, she tends to spiral into self-hatred.

✖ faithful / unfaithful / in between

Romantically, L’yhta has been unfaithful before, and it’s a sore spot that she flagellates herself now and then. She takes great pains now to be exceedingly careful about anything that might even be perceived as being unfaithful, to the extent that her partners sometimes think she’s too cautious.

Religiously, she has a deep devotion to her conception of the Mothercrystal, which to her represents the source of the Lifestream and all aether in the world. For her, protecting the children of the Crystal is a duty -- one she takes on gladly.

SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION

✖ SEXUALITY – heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual / omnisexual / demisexual

L’yhta identifies as bisexual, but in reality, she’s closer to polysexual.

✖ SEX – sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable

✖ ROMANCE – romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable

✖ SEXUALLY – sexually adventurous / sex experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious / uninterested

L’yhta really enjoys sex, yes, but she also heavily compartmentalizes. As such, if her mind isn’t on fooling around, she typically will appear entirely uninterested and not even pick up on innuendo. More than once she’s been talking about magic theory and entirely ignoring the obvious Fuck Me Eyes she’s getting.

ABILITIES

✖ COMBAT SKILLS – excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

While she’s not especially dangerous in melee, L’yhta is an extremely talented and experienced combat mage and adventurer with a keen eye for small group tactics.

✖ LITERACY SKILLS – excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

L’yhta will be the first to say that she’s not especially talented at linguistics, despite being conversationally capable in Hingan, Doman, Belah’dian, and Mhachi; being able to read Nymian and Amdaporian; and being marginally skilled at translating Allagan. It’s probably more fair to say that outside of learning languages well enough to be able to use them for magic or singing, her linguistic skills are iffy at best, and that’s mostly because she’s easily distracted from exercising them.

✖ ARTISTIC SKILLS – excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

L’yhta can sing and dance (ballet and ballroom) with reasonable amateur competency. She can also draw circles and other arcane geometries freehand, though she doesn’t consider this an artistic skill so much as a magickal one that every arcanist or esoterica researcher must be able to do.

✖ TECHNICAL SKILLS – excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

Within the area of magic, L’yhta has incredibly advanced technical skills that enable her to create new spells and cheat reality (and the Reaper). Outside of that area, her skills are laughably poor. She can barely turn on magitek devices, can only cook a few simple dishes, and doesn’t really understand the principles of teknology.

Tagged by: @mercermachines, thank you! :)

Tagging: Anyone who wants to do it! I’m late to this particular party, I know.

#ooc #meme #character bio

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ansu-gurleht · 4 years

Text

oc facts w/ weel-yam

(don’t have a picture of the lad unfortunately. in oblivion he’s only a scale or two off from default. one day i’ll make him in skyrim to have a definitive Look)

tagged by: @roseyguts

tagging: @boethiah, @fyrealchemage, @erisaneris, @julankaushibael, anybody else who wants to do this i’m bad at listing names!

note: i’m doing this based on weel-yam later in life, when he’s archmage. before that, a lot of these things might be different. also, i’m going to be adding commentary where i see fit, bc of course i am, you all know i’m a slut for useless elaboration

PLACE IN SOCIETY

✖ FINANCIAL

– wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty

he’s the bleeding archmage of the mage’s guild

✖ MEDICAL

– fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged

he can run pretty fast but i wouldn’t call him “fit,” it’s more of an innate argonian thing

✖ CLASS OR CASTE

– upper / lower / middle / working / unsure

again, archmage

✖ EDUCATION

– qualified / unqualified / studying

i’m marking both bc while he is certainly qualified for his position and very well-learned in many fields of magic and otherwise, he’s constantly still studying to improve himself and become more powerful

FAMILY

✖ MARITAL STATUS – married, happily / married, unhappily / engaged / partnered / divorced / widow or widower / separated / single / it’s complicated

he’s been in a few relationships before, but he learned many years ago he doesn’t really care for them. benefits don’t outweigh the restraints to him i guess

✖ CHILDREN – has children / no children / wants children / adopted children

again, doesn’t appeal to him at all. benefits vs restraints, etc.

✖ FAMILY – close with sibling / not close with siblings / has no siblings / siblings are deceased / it’s complicated

i’m putting that mostly bc i don’t know his exact relationship with deetsan and mach-na. they might be brothers, they might be cousins, they might be just childhood friends. regardless, they’re fairly close, and even when weel-yam leaves cheydinhal, they write regularly

✖ AFFILIATION – orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by both parents / it’s complicated

you know, this might not be a bad way to handle the deetsan/mach-na business. maybe they were all unrelated orphans who ended up living in the same orphanage/foster home. so they’re basically like brothers even though they’re not related

TRAITS & TENDENCIES

✖ disorganized / organised / in between

✖ close-minded / open-minded / in between

perhaps too open-minded. will try anything, from deals with daedric princes, to necromancy, to what have you. he’s probably done it

✖ cautious / reckless / in between

✖ patient / impatient / in between

✖ outspoken / reserved / in between

✖ leader / follower / in between

archmage.

✖ sympathetic / unsympathetic / in between

✖ optimistic / pessimistic / in between

✖ hardworking / lazy / in between

✖ cultured / uncultured / in between

✖ loyal / disloyal / in between

depends who you are and what he has to gain either way.

✖ faithful / unfaithful / in between

if this is about religion, he doesn’t care much, only insofar as it gets him something (see: daedra worship). if this is about relationships, also doesn’t care much, since he has only ever had short-lived flings anyway

SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION

✖ SEXUALITY – heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual / omnisexual / demisexual

likes the ladies but they’re a bit troublesome when you get too involved with them, he thinks. more of a chauvinist than he’d probably like to admit

✖ SEX – sex repulsed / sex neutral /sex favorable

he doesn’t really see it as worth it, generally, but doesn’t see it as like, necessarily bad for him, either

✖ ROMANCE – romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable

about this he’s a bit less lenient. romance is a distraction and weighs you down, he thinks

✖ SEXUALLY – sexually adventurous / sex experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious / uninterested

he’s no spring chicken, but he’s again, not very interested in it

ABILITIES

✖ COMBAT SKILLS – excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

he has some training with sword and shield, but when he’s out of magicka and has to resort to melee combat, it tends to end up being a lot of flailing about

✖ LITERACY SKILLS – excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

archmage.

✖ ARTISTIC SKILLS – excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

he can appreciate the art of others, but doesn’t have any interest in doing it himself. has written several books but they tend to be rather dry and manual-like. but to be fair, he first learned/self-taught himself how to read by reading from the manual of spellcraft, so it’s not unexpected

✖ TECHNICAL SKILLS – excellent / good/ moderate/ poor / none

he’s worked with some dwarven mechanisms in his day, but i’m going to usurp the “technical” part of this and make it “magical skills” instead. he’s quite the master, hence, archmage. knows a wide variety of spells from all schools, but is a legend in destruction, conjuration, and especially mysticism, which he took a five year sabbatical of sorts to study with the psijics on artaeum. he showed to have a knack for the kind of “paradoxical experimentation” which fueled mystical research and spellcrafting. he’s not got the greatest of magicka reserves, like the altmer or breton masters, but he knows how to utilize it to greatest effect by utilizing his full repertoire of spells to conserve and efficiently expend it. he’s also done a fair bit of research into alchemy and enchanting: he worked with sinderion to further research the nirnroot and its uses in potions (and poisons), and he studied several of the daedric artifacts he acquired during his adventuring years to discover more about how such powerful enchanted objects were made. in short, he’s archmage for good reason.

#oc: weel-yam

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idisofrohan · 5 years

Text

Attraction, gender and me

Due largely to a piece of pan erasure turning up on my dashboard recently, I decided to write this little piece detailing why the terminology we use might have incredible importance to part of the community and should not be disregarded as having played out their role, or being erasure of other terminology used, without giving additional traffic to something that I vehemently disagree with. Also because long post is long.

I identify, as you might have noticed, as pansexual (and -romantic), something that I see as overlapping with, but separate from, bisexual - something I’m not. Worthy of mention here is that I, unlike some other pansexuals and pan allies, don’t see bisexual as something that inherently contains trans erasure, but accept attraction towards trans men, trans women and non binary people as a possibility for bisexuals, no questions asked.

Bisexuality, as I’ve come to understand it, is a duality, as inherent in the name. But it is not the duality of attraction to men and to women, but rather that of heterosexual and homosexual attraction and that means all the difference in the world. Heterosexual attraction would be an attraction towards different from you, and homosexual attraction would be an attraction towards same as you.

But different or same as you in what exactly? Here is where things start getting problematic. For most people it can’t be the innate feeling of gender, as a base level of attraction is usually met before you get to know a person on a deep enough level that they would be out with you if they were trans. Is it then that their presentation displays elements associated with the same or a different gender from those we display? Hardly, as this exclude the attractions of those of us who are trans but living closeted. Then perhaps a presentation with elements of the same or a different gender than how we’d like to present? Still not perfect as some people desire a presentation that does not match their gender. I suppose the only all-encompassing definition is where you perceive their gender as matching the same or a different gender from yours.

But how, you might ask, is this in any way problematic? Surely attraction towards the genders that aren’t yours and the one that is - as you perceive things - would be the same as an attraction to all genders? If you identify along the gender binary, that might be the case, but if you - like me - identify as non binary, things might get a bit foggier.

The big problem is that non binary isn’t one gender, but encompasses all gender identities that aren’t either 100% male or 100% female. That’s a lot of them, and they might not be even remotely similar to each other. These different genders have one thing in common though, they each represent a rather small subset of individuals who don’t identify with their agab, they are gender minorities. As such, they don’t possess any clearly defined gender roles or typical gendered expressions, with the possible exceptions of genders ancestral to a culture. With that in mind, you wouldn’t ever know to assume you found someone that shared your gender, and you might never even meet someone you share your gender with, even if you move in lgbtq+ circles.

So, as for me, who would be an homosexual attraction? Not only would they have to be non binary, they’d need to be the very same gender as I am - and confirmed so - a simply queer expression isn’t enough. But then we have additional problems, you see, my gender isn’t a stationary one. It, like my dysphoria, fluctuate. Sometimes certain aspects of my physical body give me low dysphoria, sometimes high, and sometimes certain aspects (but never all) stop giving me dysphoria at all. Will my current state of gender have to match with the one of the person of my attraction’s for it to be a homosexual attraction? If so, it certainly becomes narrow as a term for who I’m attracted to, hardly a functional tool to use.

And who would be a heterosexual attraction? Well, obviously that would be everyone else, i.e. virtually anyone. Be they male, female or a non binary gender. This obviously deviates from any standard perception of what heterosexuality is and doesn’t meaningfully deviate from bisexuality. If I was heterosexual instead of bisexual by these definitions, there might - if I meet a low probability - be one or two people I meet in my life that I don’t possess the ability to truly be attracted to and remain so after their coming out. And even so, these potential people might still fall outside my type anyway.

I don’t like using the term bisexual about myself because to me it states “I am without a doubt attracted to my own gender” and I simply have no way of knowing that. To this day, I haven’t met a person that I know identified equal to me. I am reasonably certain that there wouldn’t be anything inherent in my gender that stopped me from falling in love with them, but that little bit of uncertainty, that lack of knowledge, would give me gender dysphoria if I stated my sexuality as bi.

Pansexual, unlike bisexual, isn’t a comparative label. Pansexuality does not state my gender’s relation to the genders of the people I’m attracted to. It is a definitive label, stating that these are in fact the genders/gender expressions/perceived genders that I am attracted to. I am attracted to (some) people who have a masculine expression. I am attracted to (some) people who have a feminine expression. I am attracted to (some) people who have a queer expression. Stating this does not come with intrinsic problems. It is a complete list of who I might get attracted to, not containing uncertainties, that does not give misleading information about who I’m attracted to to anyone I share it with. Let me have my label and I’ll let you have yours.

I realise that I have alluded to my gender several times through this piece without actually disclosing what it is. Let this be the end of that. I am a demigirl(flux) reaching all the way down to agender, but never all the way up to female. I have elements of lower body primary characteristic dysphoria, i.e. dysphoria related to the functionality of (but not form of) my sexual organs, this is a constant. I get upper body dysphoria in waves, depending on where on the gender scale I currently fall. The same goes for the dysphoria connected to my voice. At times I’ve had dysphoria connected to my hair, both head and body. The body hair one I’ve successfully alleviated by changing my grooming habits, and the head one I try to manage by different styling. I use they/them as a pronoun all of the time and she/her only when I’m feeling more feminine, with a preference for she/her when I feel an extra high level of femininity.

You might notice I never specified which direction my dysphoria exist in, and this is rather deliberate. I’m not in hormonal replacement therapy, nor do I want to be, as I’m not sure whether the dysphoria that it would alleviate would be more or less than any possible new dysphoria I might get. I haven’t had any gender reaffirming surgeries, they’d be impossible to make work towards a dysphoria that changes around like mine does. As such, my agab is rather obvious for people who know me in real life, and I’d like to keep this a forum where most people won’t necessarily know which it was.

If you’ve looked at my profile, you might have seen that I am also polyamorous, and this might make some of you dislike me because you disagree with a polyamorous relationship style, if so I’ve nothing more to say to you. However, some of you might be inclined to dislike me because I practice polyamory while falling into a multisexual sexuality, thinking that I perpetuate negative stereotypes about people who fall for more than one gender. To you I’m saying stop the gatekeeping. Polyamory is not the same as being a slut, they can exist entirely separate from each other. I think very few people would consider a total of two sexual partners (though a few more romantic) ever as slutty, yet here I am. A fuck-ton of people, of pretty much every sexuality, are likely to have me beat through serial monogamy. Still, even if I was the sluttiest slut who ever slutted, that still shouldn’t exclude me.

There will always be people who conform to stereotypes, no matter the stereotype. Does that mean we should throw them under a buss just because? Of course not! They are a valuable part of our community, together we are strong but divided we fall. Our goal shouldn’t be to assimilate perfectly in every aspect into cishet society, but to be accepted as we are, no matter how we are. Remember that the people who say “I only accept you if you follow my norms” aren’t your friends, they’ve never lifted a finger to help you. Your lgbtq+ siblings who have fought for your rights shouldn’t be sacrificed on the altar of begrudging acceptance.

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rowanaubri · 4 years

Photo

Rowan Aubri Task #2

Zodiac Sign: Capricorn

Myers-Briggs: ENFP-T - The Campaigner

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for – and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool – for love – for your dreams – for the adventure of being alive.

Enneagram: Type 2 - so/sx/sp

Your main type (Helpfulness) is which ever behavior you utilize most and/or prefer. Your variant reflects your scoring profile on all nine types: so = social variant (compliant, friendly), sx = sexual variant (assertive, intense), sp = self preservation variant (withdrawn, security seeking).

Alignment: Chaotic Good

A chaotic good character acts as his conscience directs him with little regard for what others expect of him. He makes his own way, but he's kind and benevolent. He believes in goodness and right but has little use for laws and regulations. He hates it when people try to intimidate others and tell them what to do. He follows his own moral compass, which, although good, may not agree with that of society. Chaotic good is the best alignment you can be because it combines a good heart with a free spirit. However, chaotic good can be a dangerous alignment when it disrupts the order of society and punishes those who do well for themselves.

Kinsey Scale: 2

Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual.

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw

Our emblem is the eagle, which soars where others cannot fly; our house colours are blue and bronze. We pride ourselves on intelligence, creativity, individuality, wit and learning, and our common room is found at the top of Ravenclaw tower, behind a door with an enchanted knocker. Traits: Intelligence, wit, creativity, imaginative, curiosity, individuality and eccentricity.

Ilvermorny House: Pukwudgie

Named by James Steward, after the fiercely independent magical creature the Pukwudgie; Pukwudgie house is sometimes considered to represent the heart of a witch or wizard. It is also said that Pukwudgie favours healers.

Patronus: Python/Cheetah

Temperament: Sanguine

The sanguine temperament is fundamentally spontaneous and pleasure-seeking; sanguine people are sociable and charismatic. They tend to enjoy social gatherings, making new friends and tend to be boisterous. They are usually quite creative and often daydream. However, some alone time is crucial for those of this temperament. Sanguine can also mean sensitive, compassionate and thoughtful. Sanguine personalities generally struggle with following tasks all the way through, are chronically late, and tend to be forgetful and sometimes a little sarcastic. Often, when they pursue a new hobby, they lose interest as soon as it ceases to be engaging or fun. They are very much people persons. They are talkative and not shy. Sanguines generally have an almost shameless nature, certain that what they are doing is right. They have no lack of confidence.

Archetypes: 53% Intellectual, 24% Explorer, 23% Rebel

The Intellectual is the ultimate dinner-party guest. Engaging questions and thoughtful debate are their trademarks. The Explorer is drawn to the unknown, whether that’s a Himalayan peak or the road not taken, and have a thirst for adventure. They take journeys, not vacations. The Rebel is comfortable throwing caution to the wind—and bucking the system—if that means getting their point across.

Soul Type: The Scholar

A Scholar soul is one whose role in life is the accumulation of information and knowledge. Scholars are students of life, observers, note-takers. They are naturally academic and "bookish", never happier than when able to gather new information, whether from books, on the Internet, through scientific experimentation, or simply through living and travelling. Other soul types are often flummoxed by the Scholar’s obsession with learning, reading and analysing.

Bending Type: Waterbender

Water is the element of change. You are easily adaptable and move through life with a sense of fluidity. You may feel drawn towards a career helping/healing others. To become a master waterbender you must work in concert with your environment.

Greek God Parent: Poseidon

Poseidon is the god of the sea, but also of horses and earthquakes! Children of Poseidon have a knack for being in leadership positions and can roll with the punches like none other. Children of Poseidon are ones that "go with the flow" and are usually very collected people, seeing reason and applying it to situations. However, they can also be prideful and unpredictable, as ever-changing and rapid as the waves around them.

#wotnatask #(dear gods this took me forever to do)

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hcrryofwales · 5 years

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𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐐𝐒 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄 / 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘, 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐒.

crownshqs challenge iii / character study. word count : 2.8k / point count : 30.

001. describe your characters’ relationship with their mother or father, or both. minimum word count: 150.

harry’s relationship with his father is notably strained, their tumultuous ties are well known and vastly talked about in the english court and likely whispered about in foreign courts, as he blames edward from his mother’s departure from london and for publicly ridiculing her by parading his jezebel, isabel of york, around court as though she were its consort. his mother’s final years, ravaged by illness and neglect and humiliation, preyed upon his young mind for years and his last memories of her have soured his relationship with his father and his second wife. his bond with his mother, although highly idolised in retrospect, was strong --- though they saw each other seldom, he was a mama’s boy through to his core and thus his memories of her seem sweeter than the reality was; his mother was indeed quite ill for most of his life, plagued by guilt and grief over the death of her third child, and her ability to truly love her children in a healthy manner was compromised by the acrimonious and eventual public collapse of her marriage.

002. what are your characters’ most prominent physical features? what is a feature that they are most insecure about? what are they proudest of?

the hair is obviously quite prominent, even if to his chagrin. it’s symbolic more than anything, a nod to his joint heritage ---- the braganza’s fair, coppery colouring ( as his mother was a natural red head, though it faded throughout the years ) and the plantagenet’s strawberry roots ( noticeably, edward’s beard retains the scarlet tint of his youth. ) his height, especially in medieval europe, is also prominent. harry stands at an imposing 6′3 / 190 cm, and is considerably taller than that of his contemporaries. this is likely the feature he is most proud of ( but lbr, he’s an english king, he’s all about his #thicc and shapely calves. ) i wouldn’t say that he is particularly insecure about anything, most things that come to mind would be considered attractive by medieval standards --- namely his pasty white skin and the inability to grow a considerable beard.

003. how vain is your character? do they find themselves attractive? what is their worst flaw, and are they aware of it?

i would say harry is fairly vain ---- more so arrogant, though, and that neatly ties in with his greatest flaw. he thinks too highly of himself and assumes those around him are of the same mind. it isn’t entirely his fault though, he’s been born and bred to view himself as the best thing since sliced bread as the next god appointed king of england.

004. what is your character’s ranking on the kinsey scale?

3 out of six / bisexual, equally heterosexual and homosexual.

005. describe your character’s happiest memory. minimum word count: 150.

his happiest memories are all rooted in his childhood, and with his lady mother. the welsh countryside, the fierce sun drawing out the freckles on his cheeks, reddening the tint to his skin, warming his limbs. queen eleanor’s fingertips upon his shoulder blades, working into his developing muscles and broadening width, her touch often soothing, at other moments used to stay him and keep him from lunging out at one of lord warwick’s sons for stealing his lance and capturing the dragon before him. lady isabel neville, wife to the earl of shrewsbury, is there too with her young step children, yet ---- ignorance is bliss and childish innocence conceals all sins, so he is nothing but glad to see her.

as festivals are planned and banquets underway, the king has asked the nevilles to greet queen eleanor’s portuguese relatives, and harry is told by his mother that he will soon meet the woman who may one day preside as consort beside him, but she assures him, quells his immediate displeasure, in a way that his mother only could, by telling him that she would remain by his side throughout it all.

and that, with her hand on his shoulder, puts him at peace.

006. is there one event in your characters’ life that they would like to erase from their past? why? minimum word count: 200.

there are plenty. his mother’s death, isabel’s coronation, the date that an envoy from rome arrived on english shores to announce the pope had agreed to legitimise his half - brother alexander, the day of edward, his full - brother’s death, the day, even, that he was made prince of wales and styled as his father’s true heir. they all tie in directly to the humiliation queen eleanor received at the hands of the english court, the constant scorn she was subjected to as rival to the clever and wry dowager of shrewsbury.

he regrets these days -- chiefly -- because he believes he could have done more to protect those he loved. harry harboured plans to avenge his mother by granting her the title of queen mother upon edward’s death, and yet as we now know that day never came and his hopes were miscarried by eleanor’s death in 1452. since then, he has been in a constant, frenzied war with himself -------- unsure if he fears his mother’s replacement or alexander’s place in the line of succession more. harry has grown manic in wanting to prove himself as edward’s true heir and thus condemn the nevilles and their fitzroy scions in the public eye, by securing an alliance with the recently crowned trastamara pope, having been enraged with the pomp and circumstance they were bestowed by his father for numerous years.

007. let’s talk favourites! what is their favourite colour, food, and season? what, in a modern setting, would be your character’s favourite song?

his favourite colour is likely a toss up between red ( a rich red, the scarlet hue of a burgundian wine, the stain of fresh blood, darker than crimson ) or a stately blue that oozes with cool regality and pairs well with gold trim. anything that displays the wealth of the crown.

008. can you define a turning point in your character’s life?

the day isabel was crowned as queen in westminster abbey, harry shed the skin of a boy and began to genuinely work toward being king.

009. is your character an early morning bird or a night owl? at what time do they get most of their work done?

neither. he wakes up at an appropriate hour, or whenever his dalliance’s husband splashes him with water and kicks him out of their bed, though generally retires quite late as he is expected to host within court. i would say most of his work gets done later at night, as opposed to the early morning or midday, as this is when the majority of his public duties and outings have drawn to a close.

010 a. what other character, a npc or someone apart of the rp, is your character completely real with? who knows them best, has seen them at their most vulnerable, knows their innermost and basest fears?

if anyone, probably lianor montagu, and yet in any of his relationships he’ll tend to hold back. lia’s understanding is unquestionably greater and deeper than anyone else, but she certainly doesn’t know everything and he has carefully built a wall, a divider, between himself and others to avoid being picked apart.

011. is your character a neat or messy person?

i think, left to his own devices, harry can be a bit of a messy person. he’s so used to servants picking up after him, all eager to please him, that it doesn’t cross his mind to keep things tidy. that isn’t to say he would live in a complete pigsty if he went without maids and attendants, but it certainly wouldn’t be the most organised of spaces.

012. does your character have any irrational fears or phobias?

like the majority of his contemporaries, harry fears illness. the english court moves from palace to palace to flee from all traces of it, yet having contracted something akin to the sweating sickness when he was a boy, and having lost his mother to disease, harry has developed a strong phobia of infection and thus limits his royal outings to affluent areas, where the threat of plague is relatively subdued. likewise, harry will not receive those who are unwell, and will not sit at the bedside of dying relatives, out of fear of catching something.

moreover, harry fears, perhaps more than anything, anonymity and failure. it is his utmost desire to preside over england as king and usher in a glorious era for his kingdom. standing in the way of that is, obviously, his tentative marriage alliances and his half - brother’s induction into the line of succession.

013. does your character have an underlying passion or trait that influences all aspects of their life?

of course. i’ve touched on it several times but wanting to exceed his father, in light of the shame he put his mother, sister, and himself through, in all aspects is a hugely important guiding force in his life and something that influences -- or at least should influence -- his character and decisions.

014. what might your character’s ideal romantic person be?

someone who understands him so fully that he doesn’t need to explain himself.

someone who’s beliefs and underlying goals and desires match his own --- that their personal philosophies align with his; that, when disagreement rears its ugly head, it isn’t over something deeply critical to either of them.

someone with patience, understanding, and an understated resilience who can soothe him when he gets overworked or his temper flares.

someone who can withstand the burden of his infidelity and wandering hands.

someone who, when his eyes stray or his mind becomes transfixed on matters of state or militaristic pursuits, can ensure that his realm is run smoothly and will act as an upright representative at his side.

also, whilst i’d say he’s probably more sexually attracted to men, women tend to fill his emotional needs better and he does cling to them more as a result of some pretty keen #mommy issues.

015. describe your character’s hands. are they small, long, calloused, smooth, stubby, dexterous or clumsy? do they wear any jewelry and would they wear polish in a modern setting?

his fingers are long and lean, knuckles slightly reddened. his palm is wide and flat, able to stretch across a woman’s bodice with ease, and his grip is both strong and dexterous. he uses his fingers to expertly win at chess, alert his stewards of his needs with a brisk snap, and employs his hands liberally to gesture as he speaks. the pads of his fingertips are calloused and worn by years of equestrianism, jousting and fencing, though they are neatly trimmed, splattered with freckles, and generally soft to the touch, adorned with an emerald heirloom worn upon his pinky finger, and other jewels to flaunt the plantagenet’s vast wealth that correspond with his attire.

016. how does your character smell? what is their favourite scent?

whilst he prefers clean, crisp scents ( citrus, particularly oranges, sharp colognes and spicy fragrances, a hint of mint ) on a day to day basis he smells earthy.

he’s well known for his athleticism, and thus quite a bit of his time is spent on horseback, darting through the english countryside, weaving through woods and bathing in the fresh streams that course through his father’s lands. hence, his personal scent verges on earthy and woodsy.

you may also smell ale or wine upon him, or the lavender soaps that his footmen supply him to rinse his hair with.

in a modern verse, his favourite candle would be sandalwood, and he would wear a classic cedar chest cologne; a slightly spicy, musky, amber and vanilla - like woody aroma.

017. how would your muse describe their religious beliefs?

in the eyes of the public, harry will be a consummately catholic king, and it is vital that his future wife’s beliefs correspond with his own. religion has long been a tool used by the kings of england to appease their people, but indeed ------ harry is a spiritual individual and regularly, by choice, attends service; though his conduct may or may not align with the principles mapped out by scripture, as he believes rulers are allowed to float above them. harry knows that his lady mother would roll in her grave were he to abandon the faith, and like the rulers who have come before him, he believes that he was culled and hand selected by God to claim the throne.

018. what rules does your muse live by, if any?

harry lives by the rule that there are no rules ------ not for the heir to the english throne. he believes his birthright entitles him to act and do as he pleases, and he has little hair on his tongue in lashing out against those who could stand to crush him, having no fear simply because he’s his father’s son.

019. does your muse overshare, or are they more private?

within his inner - circle, harry has a penchant to overshare and, well, complain. but with those whom he is unfamiliar, he’s a closed book, and one that may seem delightfully intriguing to avid readers.

020. is your muse a gossiper? are they more likely to argue with their fists or tongue? what does their voice sound like?

whilst he does heed talk around court, and is likely aware of courtly happenings, i don’t think he’s all that interested in spreading it, beyond idle talk. there are far more important matters for the prince of wales to attend to, and if one gives over to gossip there is usually no end to it.

harry is more inclined to fight with his fists, but this should not lessen the obvious prowess of his tongue ---- he can spar with either, and yet the fierce lashes of his tongue are generally reserved for isabel.

he has a standard english accent and his voice is quite low and melodic, with certain welsh twangs here and there from his upbringing in ludlow.

021. is your muse a … pessimist or optimist … lover or fighter … believer in happy endings … believer in love at first sight?

somewhere in between a pessimist and optimist --- a realist, with lofty aspirations for himself. fighter. not a believer in happy endings ( but a believer in the endings one deserves, the endings one fights for ) and a believer in lust, not love, at first sight.

022. what sense of humour does your character have?

a boyish, slightly dry humour. he’s fond of crass jokes and will often make them himself, yet his sense of humour has been known to get him in a world of trouble with his advisers and foreign royals. blame it on a slip of the tongue.

023. what bad habits does your character have?

gambling, drinking, womanising... you name it. in a modern verse, he’d definitely be more likely to dabble in recreational drug or tobacco use, but since that’s fairly ... limited and / or outlandish in medieval europe i don’t think it would present much of a problem and he wouldn’t be at risk of addiction. also, vapes don’t exist in 1455 as far as i know, but you know if they did he’d be smoking that tutti frutti !!

024. how does your character feel about growing old?

there is a sense of opportunity to growing older, though there is also fear. growing older means becoming king, amassing power and loyalty ------- but, though he may be king, rulers are too made of clay and subjected to mortality as any other, and this, without a doubt, is among his greatest fears.

the idea of dying without achieving anything is troublesome to harry, and much of his desire to wed stems from the notion that his heirs and daughters will carry his legacy into another lifetime, that they’ll be used as politically influential pawns, that, if he should have a son, there would be no chance for his half - brother to inherit the throne, and this ultimately soothes his apprehensions to a certain degree.

025. does your character prefer adventure to safety and security?

adventure, certainly, although as i have touched upon before, adventure for harry is not the same for, say, a noble or a lesser member of court. there will always be a safety net beneath him, so while he may leap and bound, there has never been any fear that he would fall and thus it cannot be considered entirely dangerous or even adventuresome, perhaps more calculated than anything. thats privilege babey !!

#crhs.challenge #( 𝖎 𝖍𝖆𝖛𝖊 𝖇𝖊𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖆𝖗𝖐 𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖐 𝖔𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚. ) / * headcannons .#welp

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gleeandintersectionality · 5 years

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Intersectionality was first defined by scholar Kimberle Krenshaw and was described as a ‘but for’ analysis- I would have received that job ‘but for’ my race, I would have gotten that promotion ‘but for’ my gender” (Molina-Guzman and Cacho 72). Intersectionality “challenges predominant understandings of race and gender as discrete social identities shaped by and formative of distinct social experiences” (Molina-Guzman and Cacho 72). Intersectionality is ultimately the overlapping of different identities like race, gender, and sexual orientation that make an individual’s life more challenging as they identify with multiple minorities. For example, Krenshaw specifically addresses how black women can experience sex and race discrimination (Molina-Guzman and Cacho 72). Intersectionality can be found in the characters on FOX’s teen comedy-drama, Glee. This blog will focus on mainly on Mercedes, a black woman, Santana, a Latina lesbian, and Unique, a black trans woman.

On Glee, there is constant competition between the two arguably strongest female singers of the club: Rachel Berry and Mercedes Jones. Rachel is Jewish, but light skinned and Mercedes is black. Throughout the series, Rachel receives many solo numbers, while Mercedes is denied the same opportunity. Dubrofsky explains how Mercedes is seen only performing music by black artists and being denied solos because of her attitude: “If Mercedes is presented as having the talent and appropriate voice for a solo, she is portrayed as lacking the drive or the ability to tame her emotions to claim center stage, reproducing stereotypes of the angry black woman” (91). While Rachel has the right voice for every genre of music, Mercedes is pegged by her race. To make sure audiences don’t call Glee racist, they act as if it is Mercedes’ lack of ambition and drive that denies her solos. When auditioning for the school musical, West Side Story, Rachel and Mercedes both audition for the role of Maria. The play directors are impressed and shocked with Mercedes’ audition expressing how they have “never seen Mercedes so ‘glamorous’” (Dubrofsky 96). This could be seen as whitening Mercedes into an elegant, classy performer igniting a reaction and performance typical of Rachel. However, after Mercedes’ stunning performance, the play directors are still torn about who to cast: “Rachel appears not only the safer choice, but the obvious one—seamlessly, unquestionably having what it takes to play the role, while Mercedes is an assumed risk. Why Rachel possesses what it takes, and what the doubts are about Mercedes, are never specified” (Dubrofsky 97). While neither girl fits the role of Maria who is Puerto Rican, it is never explained why Mercedes would be the riskier choice or why Rachel is the stronger performer. Dubrofsky explains show Glee shows “whiteness as an undefined but everpresent and desirable quality” (97). This scene shows that if you want to be leading lady material you have to be white or light skinned.

The person who mostly gets blamed for selecting solo performances is Mr. Schuester, the white and male Glee club teacher who gives Rachel a plethora of solos. It is not until season three that Mercedes calls out Mr. Schuester on his biased attitude: “You give that skinny Garanimals-wearing ass-kisser everything. For two years I took it. Not anymore” (Futterman par. 5). For two years, Mercedes has accepted her lack of solos, but in season three, Mercedes becomes outspoken and confronts the situation head on. She knows she is a star and will no longer play second fiddle to Rachel. The episode ends with Mercedes joining a new glee club. Because of Mercedes’ race she works twice as hard as Rachel and the other white glee members to be seen as talented and multi dimensional. Mercedes wants to be more than a stereotype and show that she can sing all genres of music and display a range of emotions. This shows intersectionality as Mercedes being a black woman has to work twice as hard against the light skinned Rachel to get what she wants.

The next character I will be discussing is Santana Lopez. Santana applies to intersectionality because she is a woman, Latina, and a lesbian. When discovering her sexuality, Jacobs explains how compared to Kurt, a white male gay student, Santana’s coming out is even more challenging as she is isolated from other gay women and particularly gay women of color (339). Besides her sexuality, Santana's ethnicity marks her even more as an outcast as she identifies with two minorities and therefore lacks people similar to her within her small town and high school. Jacobs also discusses the rejection Santana faces from her grandmother when she comes out to her. Jacobs explains how it is not shocking that the “only overtly homophobic adult is an old, Catholic Hispanic woman, aligning phobia with a benighted, ethnic/ racial religiosity” (342). This shows how age, religion, and ethnicity affect how one responds to gay people. Since Santana’s family is Latin, they are strongly religious and therefore do not accept homosexuality. In comparison to Kurt Hummel whose father immediately accepts him, Santana faces rejection because of her family’s ethnicity and religion.

Villagomez also discusses the pivotal moment of Santana’s coming out to her abuela. The rejection Santana experiences after coming out “not only showed the rejection LGBT’s face (or fear facing) when coming out, but the rejection Latinos specifically encounter which, usually, can be related to strong religious and cultural beliefs” (Villagomez 1). This shows that although all LGBT teens may fear coming out, many Latinos have it harder because of their family’s strong religious beliefs that go against homosexuality. This is the case with Santana’s abuela as she says that Santana has committed a sin (Villagomez 2). Villagomez further explains how Santana’s rejection shows how emotional and complicated coming out can be. Santana was also the only gay character on Glee to face rejection and ultimately showed LGBT teens that it may be better “to leave the negative people out of their life, especially after you’ve given the relationship and seach for acceptance your all” (Villagomez 2).

In the series, Santana forms a relationship with Brittany who is white. Through their relationship, they experience unfair treatment compared to the straight couples at school. Gilchrist touches upon this when Principal Figgins finds Santana and Brittany leaning in for a kiss and interrupts them. Santana interjects “This is such bullcrap! Why can’t Brittany and I kiss in public? Because we’re two girls” (Gilchrist 2). Figgins explains how the high school does not allow any types of PDA between any couples, but alas, he has been receiving complaints about Brittany and Santana’s relationship. Santana asks if any complaints have been made about Finn and Rachel who are publicly making out in the hallway. As a new religion club has began at the high school, Figgins is attempting to stop Brittany and Santana from kissing to make those who are religious feel comfortable. Santana clearly upset says, “All I want to do is be able to kiss my girlfriend but I guess no one can see that because there’s such an insane double standard at this school” (Gilchrist 2). Referring to how Finn and Rachel and other straight couples get away with kissing in the hallways, Santana is frustrated because she is denied this right because she is gay. As the religion club sends singing Valentine grams for straight couples, Santana requests one for Brittany. After praying about it and having a long discussion, the club decides to sing for Brittany and Santana. This shows how Brittany and Santana are not given the same privileges as their straight couples at school and must hide their relationship to make their straight peers feel more comfortable.

Snarker focuses more on Brittany and Santana’s relationship by discussing how media does not highlight their relationship and oftentimes focuses more on the gay men in relationships. In an article by EW, they claimed: “Kurt is the most important character on television right now” (Snarker par. 13). Snarker explains that although the way Kurt deals with being gay in a disapproving world is inspiring, she wishes more people would focus on Brittany and Santana’s relationship, saying, “For gay women, Brittana is every bit as engaging, albeit on a smaller scale, than Kurt is for gay men. Their legitimate, if unlabeled, relationships matter to us. We’d like it if it mattered to you, too” (par. 15). Snarker also points out that when the media does address Brittany, they address her relationship with Artie, a boy, rather than with Santana as Brittany is sexually fluid within the series (par. 10). Just like being white was preferred for Mercedes, being straight is seen as the preferred norm on Glee. Brittany and Santana align with intersectionality as they get outcasted within their school and get ignored by the media.

I will now be moving on to Unique Adams, an African American trans woman. When Unique first joins the glee club, she wants to perform in women's clothes. Mercedes and Kurt, both fear the reaction Unique will receive with Kurt saying, “ ‘I’ve worn some flamboyant outfits, but I’ve never dressed up as a woman.’ To which Unique replies ‘That’s because you identify yourself as a man. I thought you of all people would understand’ ” (Kane par. 4). This shows how even members of the LGBT community like Kurt still misunderstand transgender individuals and label them inaccurately.

One of Unique's biggest plot lines in Glee is when she catfishes Ryder Lynn, a heterosexual white male, as a girl named “Katie.” As Sandercock explains Unique takes on an identity unlike her own: “Unique portrays herself online as a thin, white, blonde, cisgender woman – a hegemonic ideal of beauty – an identity and embodiment that exists in opposition to her as a large, black, trans woman” (442). Sandercock further explains, “This highlights the intersectional nature of gender, race and beauty ideals that impact on the marginalisation of trans women of colour. Her avatar reveals beliefs about what is most beautiful and desirable, and her fears of embodying none of these ideals” (442). Unique knows that as a black trans woman she does not embody the standard of beauty which is white, thin, and cisgendered. Through becoming Katie, she is trying to disown her intersectionality and become the image that is desired most in society. Ryder is mean and lashes out at Unique in real life for not understanding her gender identity. Unique tells him that she is a “proud black woman” (Sandercock 442). He decides to mention Unique and how he feels about her to Katie. Katie replies, “This Wade/ Unique guy believes he is a girl. He doesn’t need any proof. It’s his truth. And like what you said, what’s true is true” (Sandercock 443). After this, Ryder changes his point of view about Unique, however Unique has already told Ryder that she is a woman, yet he only believes it when it comes from Katie. Sandercock explains how “this highlights the role of race but also the economy of desire whereby ‘loving’ Unique becomes crucial to winning the affection of ‘Katie’ who intersectionally embodies normative femininity, whiteness and cisness” (443). This scenario shows that trans people and people of color know they are not the image of ideal beauty, and therefore, are insecure about the way they are seen and if they will find romantic love. This scene also shows that white, cisgender and heterosexual people may only accept and believe in those who are trans, gay or black only when it is explained and accepted by someone similar to them.

Glee portrays a vast range of races, genders, and sexualities through their characters. Intersectional characters teach audiences the difficulties of being a part of multiple minorities and how it affects their lives. Although Glee can be controversial in its representations, it ultimately shows that those applying to intersectionality experience specific hardships that white, straight, and cisgendered individuals do not understand.

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softpine · 5 years

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hi so i dont want to start anything but since it was brought up again what you said about danny being straight and incidentally gay has been bothering me since you first mentioned it ): someone having the potential to be attracted to same and other genders is the literal definition of bisexuality and labeling him as straight feels like erasure but then calling him “incidentally gay” feels even more disrespectful? idk i didnt want to bring this up while youre already stressed but im hurt tbh ):

i feel like there might have been a little bit of miscommunication here, so i’m going to try to share my thoughts on it, but first i want to say: i’m so so sorry that i hurt you, my intentions have always been to portray bisexuality as accurately as possible (with caroline’s storyline in particular) and i want to do everything i can to make sure no one feels hurt by my story!! so after i’m done explaining, if there’s anything i can do to help, please let me know!

so first, i used the phrase “incidentally gay” because i was referring to the kinsey scale. it was an old scientific way to describe sexuality (on a range between 0 -- exclusively heterosexual, to 6 -- exclusively homosexual, i hate that word btw), based on a survey that you take yourself. a 1 on the scale, which is what i called danny, is “predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual”. that’s what i meant by “incidentally gay”, i didn’t mean to diminish bisexuality at all!! many people who would call themselves a 1 on the kinsey scale also call themselves bisexual, and i completely agree that that’s accurate!! but a lot of those people consider themselves straight too (in high school ap psychology we took the kinsey test privately, but we could share our answers if we wanted, and there were quite a few people who were either 1′s or 5′s that saw themselves as either straight or gay or bi, it just depends!! i hope that makes sense). anyway, i don’t even agree with the kinsey scale as an accurate “measurement” of sexuality, because i don’t think there’s any measurement on the planet that could be 100% accurate. sexuality is something really personal and different for everyone!! even people within one label may feel differently to each other. so i just want to put a little disclaimer that i’m not supporting the kinsey scale, i just used it as a quick way to get information across.

for danny in particular, i’ve tried to make it pretty clear that he sees himself as straight, not bisexual (ie: this post). he doesn’t have any kind of turmoil over it, he doesn’t even give it much thought, and he’s completely fine calling himself straight. like i said in this post, he doesn’t see himself dating anyone besides caroline, so he’s not even like.. fantasizing about other women, let alone other men. in my mind, i didn’t see this as bi erasure, because i’ve like.. been friends with real people who think about themselves this way. but i do understand that when writing a story, your characters automatically become representation of something, and i would hate to harm anyone by making any implications about bisexual people in general!

to finish this off, i want to say that i haven’t said all there is to be said about danny’s sexuality. we’re only like halfway done with the story yet, and i know i’ve already spoiled a lot of things in the plot, but there’s still a LOT that you guys don’t know about yet. it’s like when you’re reading an actual book, sometimes your opinions will change by the end, because new things happen that change the characters’ situations/thoughts/feelings. and since i’m posting this story one post at a time, there are a lot of things that you sort of have to withhold judgement for, until the time comes. saying that, in and of itself, is kind of a spoiler, but i think it needs to be said!

okay i’m so sorry for the essay, and i really want to apologize for hurting you. please please message me if there’s something more i can do right now!! would it help if i just changed his bio to say straight? or would that make it worse? :(

#please don't be scared to chime in on this!!#i want to make sure i'm learning from this #camellia ask #long post #anonymous #asks #saviorhide #brandi answers

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