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fcthots · 10 months

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Drunk sex with jay?he's the one drunk btw

I got carried away...

This is one of the longest things I've ever written

He is such a horny drunk. It's been established for years at this point. He achieves something. He's proud of himself. He gets drunk. His face gets flushed. He gets flirty. He gets horny. All a part of the routine. You've talked about it. You've discussed it. You've accepted it.

And you'd be lying if you said you didn't enjoy the flirting at least a little.

He'd started drinking an hour ago. He's had his eyes locked on yours since then. He's watched your every step and hasn't stopped smiling.

You know he's watching you. You're standing with him in the kitchen. He's sitting on one of the metal barstool chairs he picked out a few months ago at some old furniture store. He's solidly drunk now. His steps waver when he tries to walk and he slurs his words when he speaks. He smile still doesn't drop.

He's been chattering most of the time, talking about nothing. Also flirting. So much flirting. But he's been silently staring at you for the last 3 minutes, a record.

He rests his chin in his hand. "I wanna taste you."

You drop the remote you were holding. He snickers. Loudly.

You let out a huff and bend over the grab the remote, blushing furiously. While you grab the remote from the floor, he soundlessly moves behind you. You're not entirely sure how he pulled it off in his drunken state. You don’t notice until you stand back up and his hands find your waist, pushing their way up under your shirt and tracing patterns into your skin. "Sounds like you like my idea. C'mon." He draws out the last syllable slightly. He turns you around, removing one hand to place it on your chin and tilt your head up to look at him. His eyes are hooded and dark. "Please?" His voice is gruff and slightly deeper than it usually is. How are you supposed to resist him?

He can see the surrender in your eyes ands smile brightens. You let out a breath. "You sure?"

He doesn't respond, just presses his lips to yours in a bruising kiss. He's no longer so drunk that he can't walk, but you still don't trust him to walk backwards to the couch the way he'd usually lead you during a kiss, so you walk yourself backward to the kitchen table. It breaks off the kiss when you sit, but Jason is quick to go to his knees to follow you. His mouth doesn't stay on yours for too much longer, it makes its way to your neck and you can feel him leave hickeys that surely won't be gone by tomorrow. His hands find their way back under your shirt to your hips and waist, pulling your body flush with his. They move and latch onto the hem of your shirt, trying to lift it, but he can't bring himself to move his mouth away from your neck. You do it for him. Faster than the flash, kid flash, or impulse could move, you lean slightly back and away to lift your shirt off your head. You toss the shirt across the room and you can faintly hear the fabric hit the ground as Jason's mouth returns to your neck.

But this time, it doesn’t stay in that one place for two long. How mouth moves to your finally freed collarbones and licks a hot strip up the middle of them. His eyes lock with yours and your skin feels warm and electric. His hands move up your body and try to make their way to your chest before he gets annoyed at the fabric there.

"Ugh!" His tone is annoyed and you can't help but let out a breath of a laugh. "Take it all off. Everything. Now."

"Bossy." But you're doing exactly what he says and you know he can see the excitement in your eyes. You think about making a remark about the clothing (What? can't figure out how to get it off?), but ultimately decide that getting the clothes off as fast as humanly possible is more pressing. His hands have to move away from your waist when it's time for the pants to go and you immediately miss the warmth of his touch. It isn't gone for long, though. The moment your underwear drops, his mouth is on your tits. He draws a nipple to his mouth and you can feel his tongue move against it. Your hands find their way into his hair as he moans and pushes the rest of his body against yours. You feel his teeth graze you and you let out a brief gasp. His fingers dip into your hipbones and he doubles his efforts.

He doesn’t want to spend too long on just one, though. He always says they both "deserve equal attention" (usually right after he says something like "mine. All fuckin mine,") but well his mouth is a little busy right now. His hands trail down to your thighs, moving up and down. They squeeze intermittently as he bares down on your tit. You try to rub your thighs together, to get some sort of friction, but his hands roughly push them apart and hold them in place.

You tug his hair back, moving his face away and making him look at you. His eyes are half lidded, dazed. There's not a damn thought in his brain other than you. He whines and it short circuits your brain. You were about to say something, but he beats you to it.

"Need you. Need to taste you. Please."

"Thought you'd never ask."

His head moves back to your chest, but this time it trails down. His open mouth kisses are quick and sloppy. He follows your skin as it moves with your quickening breaths. His hands move back up your thighs and this time they trail all the way to your hips. He licks a final stripe up your stomach as he jerks you to the edge of the table.

He moves his hands again, this time around the outer side of your knees. He briefly kisses his way up your thigh. You're both breathing loud and heavily by the time he hooks the knee over his shoulder. Then he moves his mouth the other thigh, moving his mouth along it the same way he did the previous one. And again when he finally makes all the way to your inner thigh, he backs his head up, smiles at you, and hooks that knee over his shoulder.

He lays down one last kiss before he looks back up at you again and says, "Sorry, ma. Can't wait any more."

His arms loop around your thighs to keep you in place and he wastes no further time. He licks a wet stripe up your cunt and you let out an unholy moan. His lips wrap around your clit and suck and your brain shuts off. Your eyes slide closed against your will, despite how fucking good he looks between your legs. The only thing you can do is feel what he's doing to you, and by the looks of it, he's in the same boat. You swear you don't know what he's doing with his tongue, but fuck it feels good.

You think he might be more drunk on you than the alcohol at this point, but regardless you notice he hasn't remembered to breathe since he started devouring you. You try to tug him by his hair but his neck remains stiff and he moans into your cunt (and fuck if that is't distracting). "Baby." You tug his scalp again, this time with force. He gasps when you pull him away. You make eye contact and his eyes are a fucking sight. His pupils are blown wide, but more important his mouth and chin are coated in your slick. He licks his lips and you almost lose it at the sight. "Don't forget to breathe."

He seemingly can't wait any longer because he talks on his way back to your cunt. "Yes ma'am." Your brain shuts off for the next two minutes. You suspect he might be tracing his name into you, but you're not complaining, especially when it feels like that. His fingers dig into your skin as you let out a stream of curses.

He backs away to catch his breath and had you been in any sort of state to, you might have made a remark about him remembering all on his own this time, but you're too thoroughly wrecked to let out anything other than a high pitched whine.

He breathes a laugh. "You sound like me. Tsk tsk tsk. I guess I've been rubbing off on you too much lately." You forget how much of a cocky bastard he can be. Apparently he's finished his meal, because he moves your knees off his shoulder and rises from his knees. There are red marks where his fingers were pressed into you. "C'mon. Get up. I'm gonna need you to ride me. Let's go. Let's go make you drunk on my cock, baby"

Time to find out if you can still walk.

#this is the equivalent of my YouTuber apology video for being gone for so long *brings out ukulele*#jason todd smut #jason todd #jason todd imagine #jason todd x reader #jason todd x reader smut #jason todd x you #red hood imagine #red hood x reader #red hood smut #red hood x reader smut #red hood #red hood x you #jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd x afab!reader #smut #saph’s love letters #saph’s thots

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murdrdocs · 11 months

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INTERVIEW 013

with. finnick odair

includes. fem!reader, husband finnick, filming, kitchen sex, domesticity, oral (fem receiving)

→ kinktober masterlist

It started out as the definition of domesticity.

There was a package in the mail, sent from Katniss and Peeta, addressed to ‘The Odairs’ in Katniss’ handwriting. Seeing the joint name made you giddy, but reading the letter from your closest friends made you giddier.

They’d congratulated you on your recent marriage, praised the ceremony once more, and had enclosed an old video camera for both of you to document your newlywed endeavors on.

While you had cooking and home decorating selected as ideas for ‘newlywed endeavors’, Finnick had gone a different route.

The camera sat in his hands as he kissed at your neck, his free hand teasing at your waist.

“C’mon, sweetheart. It’ll be fun,” came his promise, spoken lowly and close to your ear in an attempt to get you to give in. You were closer to doing so than you would like to admit, just the thought almost enticing enough to make you put the knife down, slide the vegetables out of the way, and give Finnick what he wanted.

Almost.

You refused to give in without making Finnick plead just a little more.

You hummed, fauxing disinterest as you brought the knife down in another audible slice against the wooden chopping board.

Finnick continued. “We could look back on it. You could see what I see; How pretty my wife is.” The term made your heart flutter, still not used to being the wife of Finnick Odair. His hand at your waist circled around to your front, pressing flat against your stomach and pulling you flush against him so you could feel the semi he was sporting beneath his joggers.

You couldn’t help it anymore, your head lolling back to rest against Finnick, your skull connecting with the taut muscles all along his body.

“What d’you say?” You could hear the self satisfied smile in his words.

You end up on the counter top, any food you were prepping pushed all the way to the side to make room for you. Your legs spread, Finnick’s head between a pair of plushy thighs, your abdomen tensing and relaxing as you controlled your breathing. You caught it all on camera, the object pointed down at your husband who licks and sucks along your cunt like it’s his favorite pastime in the world.

Which, he’s told you as such.

The muscles in his shoulders flex as he nudges the back of your legs with them, arms circling around your thighs to press his fingertips into the flesh.

Your legs have lifted a bit, spreading you open even more.

Finnick presses his tongue flat, letting it relax over the expanse of your cunt as much as the muscle can reach. He licks a long, slow stripe from your entrance to your clit, repeating the pattern back and forth until you can’t take it anymore. When you whine, the sound desperate and pathetic, he gives you more.

The interlude of teasing has completely passed, Finnick going back to devouring you like he knows how. He releases one of your legs to use two digits inside of your greedy walls, cunt swallowing them up as Finnick pumps in a fast paced rhythm.

He focuses on your clit and the surrounding area with his mouth, eyes opening to look up at you. Through the camera, the green is a little grainy, slightly dulled, but you can see the intensity behind his gaze all the same.

His cheeks flushed, the tip of his nose glistening, blonde wavy hair all over the place from your grip. Your hand finds the strands again as your orgasm approaches, the camera leaning off to the side just a little.

Finnick pulls away from your cunt and you cry out as you stare down at him in shock.

He tuts, jerking his head towards the camera. “Keep it on me, baby.”

You quickly bring it back, taking Finnick’s smile as a form of praise as he goes back down. Just as quick, you’re close again, back arching and muscles tightening.

Your hand slips from Finnick’s hair, nails scratching at his shoulder as it flails around. Finnick, always knowing exactly what you need, offers his own hand to ground you, both of your fingers quickly interlocking like opposite ends of a magnet.

When you cum on Finnick’s tongue, it’s so loud that the tiny microphone in the camera struggles to pick it up.

Watching it back, Finnick teases you for it, his cock sliding in and out of your walls as he fucks you from behind, lips against the shell of your ear as he promises he can make you cum louder here and now than he did then.

#🕸️ 𝐌𝐔𝐑𝐃𝐑𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐑 #finnicksworld!#finnicktobr!#finnick odair x reader #finnick odair x you #finnick odair smut #finnick odair

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sansaorgana · 3 months

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I 👏🏻 need 👏🏻 the 👏🏻 part 2 👏🏻 of 👏🏻 your 👏🏻 buck and bucky poly fic 👏🏻. Where they are reunioned after the war and the reader takes care of our traumatized boys

hii! 🙈 sorry for making you wait so long! this time I didn't chicken out and delivered a full smut 😘

[ PART ONE ] || [ PART THREE ]

🔞 THIS FIC IS 18+ 🔞

When Buck had been leaving you, you had only thought of two possibilities – him finishing his twenty five missions as fast as he could and coming back to you before Christmas or him dying there. That he would go down and end up in a POW camp until the end of the war… You simply had not predicted. In fact, you hadn’t even thought of such a possibility and it was dreadful because all you had been doing was to wait. Wait, wait, wait… Every day and every night. God only knew how long the war would last but at least he was safer in that camp than flying over German heads. And – most importantly – Bucky was with him. Your two boys together.

You still remembered the night before Bucky’s departure. How could you ever forget? It had changed everything between the three of you. At first, you had wanted to forget and move on, hoping that once your desire had been fulfilled, you would no longer crave him. But that had been not the case. And a few weeks after Gale’s departure, your boyfriend had asked you two things – to marry him and for you to start writing letters to Bucky as well because his best friend had been lonely and he had no one to write to him; no one to fight and come back for. That had been an odd combination of questions but to the both of them you had answered – yes.

In the meantime, you moved out of the room you had been renting. One of your friends had become a war widow and you moved in with her to the house she had shared with her late husband. She had quickly remarried and moved in with her new man, allowing you to stay in the old house – you didn’t have to pay the rent, just the bills. And in return, you were taking care of the place in case she wanted to sell it or for her children to take it over one day. She had become a war widow and a married woman again and all this time you had been patiently waiting.

And now, when the new summer was just around the corner, they were coming back. You had prepared the house for their arrival, knowing they were supposed to go back to The States together. And on the very next day they were to come to you. Since you were not married to Buck yet, it would already cause quite a gossip if he stayed over. And him bringing a friend, too? Quite a scandal. But you didn’t care. God almighty, they had survived the war, they had survived hell… And you were supposed to care about small town gossip? No.

You had prepared a separate room for Bucky in the guest room downstairs. And while putting the sheets on, you wondered what it would be when they are back. Awkward, surely. The letters you had been exchanging with Bucky were… Not as innocent as you had imagined them to be at first. You wondered if Buck knew.

You had bought a new dress for their arrival – delicate and feminine fabric with a flower pattern. Pearl earrings and an apron to make sure you wouldn’t get the new dress dirty as you baked a cherry pie for them. You didn’t invite anyone, it was no party. You didn’t have many friends in this town and the boys were coming from different states than you. There was no one to invite but you still wanted to greet them nicely.

You heard a car outside and took the apron off to hang it on the wall as you looked out of the window and you spotted a military car parking outside. Buck and Bucky left it with their small bags and they said goodbye to their friends inside before looking at each other and taking deep breaths in. Your heart pounded in your chest – it felt nearly unreal to see them again… Both alive and both in one piece each even though even from afar you could see that their faces… Their faces looked older, more tired. Their eyes lost the sparkle but you didn’t mind – how could you? And you hadn’t been expecting anything different. In fact, you had gotten older, too. And all that worrying, it had an effect on the way you looked as well.

You hurried to the hall and opened the front door shyly as they both looked in your direction. You were aware that some of your neighbours were watching behind their windows so you had to act carefully.

You ran out straight into Gale’s arms, crashing with him with all force, nearly knocking him down as Bucky chuckled. Gale lifted you up and spun you around, covering your face in dozens of tiny, sweet kisses and you cupped his cheeks as you examined his own face with your teary eyes. There were tiny scars scattered all over and you kissed them all before kissing his nose and eyelids, his lips.

“You’re back,” you breathed out finally, the very first words spoken between you two.

And then you looked at Bucky and you wished you could do the same to him. But you just gave him a stiff hug and patted his back.

“You’re back,” you told him with a nod of your head and he nodded as well, awkwardly. His eyes longed to touch you and greet you properly but you were exposed outside. And even inside, it just felt wrong.

You were his best friend’s fiancée… The night before his departure, the letters… He still had not been sure what they meant. Perhaps they existed out of pity or as a treat, nothing more. And Buck was just very considerate and kind to share… But only a little. At the camp, they had been talking about you as if you were theirs and they had been doing things that solidified the odd, sinful union – sharing your letters and your pictures, telling each other sweet and spicy fantasies about you. But still… It was Buck who had been dating you first and it was Buck who had proposed to you. And now they were back and they didn’t need to desperately hang on to things to survive, so… Buck could be less eager to share you now. And Bucky would understand that but he still wanted to try his shot whenever the occasion would show up.

You all walked inside and you closed the door behind you, finally being alone in the privacy of your house.

“The bathtub is in the bathroom upstairs,” you told them. “Bucky’s bedroom is here, the door on the left down the corridor. Please, unpack yourselves, change your clothes. I will finish preparing food, okay?” You asked, not knowing what to do.

Not only with Bucky it was awkward but with Buck, too. How much did he know? And why did he feel so… Strange? Like you had never met him before. You still felt comfortable around him and your heart was still full of love at the sight of him but he now knew about the horrors you would never comprehend and that was creating a wall between you two.

They nodded at you and you left them to go back to the kitchen. You put the apron back on and started to work on the salad as the dinner you had prepared earlier was reheating.

Bucky was done first. He walked downstairs from the bathroom and joined you in the kitchen. At first, he leaned on the doorframe and then he cleared his throat to let you know about his presence and walked up to you, putting his hands around your waist and leaning down to put his chin on your shoulder before placing a kiss upon your cheek. Your heart pounded in your chest but his touch was more than welcome. God, you had been missing him.

“Thank you for all your letters,” he breathed out into your ear. “They saved me.”

“Thank you for staying alive and coming back to me,” you whispered back and he grabbed your wrist as he furrowed his brows at the ring on your finger. “I bought it for myself at the pawn shop,” you explained. “After I sent the letter to Buck where I agreed to marry him.”

“And the second letter was for me,” Bucky hummed to himself.

You were interrupted by Gale clearing his throat now and you got startled, moving away from Bucky’s arms. He let go of you but he kept standing there as if nothing had happened. Gale approached you two and now it was his turn to put his hands on your waist as he leaned in to kiss the crook of your neck.

“You look beautiful, my darling,” he told you. “I love your dress.”

“And the ring?” Bucky asked. “Have you seen the ring she bought herself at the pawn shop, pretending it was from you?” He lifted your hand and Buck took it from him gently as he examined the piece of jewellery.

“It’s stunning, my love. But I feel bad that you had to buy it yourself,” he placed a kiss upon it.

“It’s fine. At least I chose a ring that I like,” you shrugged your arms. “So many women are gifted rings that they don't really like,” you added with a chuckle and swallowed thickly at the awkwardness of the situation.

“I just thanked our girl for the letters she sent me. They saved me,” Bucky brought that up again and you felt your cheeks heating up at the way he called you their girl. There was no reaction from Buck whatsoever… You had a feeling they had already discussed it before.

“Your beautiful letters saved us both, my darling,” Buck nodded and leaned in to place a kiss under your ear. “We exchanged them often. And the pictures you sent us. Everything,” he murmured into your ear.

“You saved me, too, to be fair,” Bucky told him.

“And you saved me,” Gale smiled gently, you felt his lips curving on your delicate skin.

The timer in the oven went off, interrupting the scene. You cleared your throat and moved out of Buck’s arms.

“Dinner’s ready,” you announced.

During dinner, the boys were telling you stories from the war and the camp that they hadn’t been able to tell you in their letters. Of course they were not all the stories and they were told chaotically but you didn’t mind that. Your heart was aching for them – especially in the moments when their voices were shivering and eyes watering. But what you had noticed was that they had truly survived all of this because they were together and it was making you happy that they had been taking care of each other.

They insisted on washing the dishes so you left the kitchen to them and you went to the bathroom to prepare yourself for bed now. You would go to sleep earlier on that day because they both had been exhausted.

You changed into a white nightgown and brushed your hair and teeth before putting a perfumed lotion all over your body. You went to your bedroom and saw Buck’s bags on the chair, still unpacked. You sighed and began unpacking them to put them in your wardrobe – your friend from whom you rented the house allowed him to stay for some time until you get married and move out. She just didn’t know about Bucky…

But what about Bucky? Would he leave in a few days? Or would he stay? You had no idea. It was all a mess.

Once you were done with Gale’s things, you went to your bed and waited for him. He entered the bedroom with a soft smile but he left the door ajar. He changed into his pyjamas and joined you in the bed. You opened your arms for him to lay his head on your chest as you played with his hair. He needed comfort and warmth and you loved to give it to him but you also felt guilty because you had a feeling Bucky needed it, too.

“Your scars…” You started softly and he looked up like a hurt puppy. “They make you look even more beautiful, my love,” you assured him and caressed the exposed side of his face gently. “They make me so proud to be your woman.”

He didn’t say anything but he moved up a little to kiss your chest and then your neck while you rubbed his back in a soothing manner. And then you saw Bucky in his pyjamas leaving the bathroom and about to walk downstairs to his bedroom but he stopped and turned around to look at you and Buck. And he kept standing and looking for a long while until you parted your lips to say something but didn’t know what.

Buck noticed that something was wrong and he looked around. He spotted his best friend staring through the ajar door and he waved his hand over.

“Come,” he said and Bucky took a deep breath before joining you in the bedroom. He closed the door behind him – you weren’t waiting for anyone else.

“Come,” you said, too, as you moved a little to make more space in the bed on your other side.

Bucky nodded and got under the cover with you, pressing his face to the crook of your neck and breathing in your scent. He was trembling slightly and you realised how much he needed your comfort as well. You wrapped your arms around him now and pressed a kiss upon his forehead but Buck didn’t want to be abandoned as he attacked your neck with his wet and soft kisses on the other side. You put one of your arms around him and the other was still kept around Bucky, whose hands started to roam around your waist, pulling your nightgown up.

Gale’s kisses were making you shiver as his own hands squeezed your breasts. You moaned at the feeling – after nearly two years of being lonely and waiting, you had two men being all over you and it felt heavenly. Once again, desire and affection outcasted your shame and guilt. Was it really so wrong? Were you hurting anybody?

In no time your nightgown was both pulled down to reveal your breasts – with your nipples perky from the cold air and stimulation – and pushed up to give them access to your wet folds. Buck’s lips were attached to your breasts as his fingers drew circles on your clit. Bucky’s mouth was all over your jaw and neck now as his long, slim fingers were fucking you in a fast and steady rhythm. Their muffled moans accompanied your whimpers of pleasure. You felt like their doll to play with and they were so touch-starved and hungry that all they wanted was to touch and feel you – nearly greedily and surely desperately.

All the fantasies they had been having about you, telling each other dirty stories, reading each other’s dirty letters you had been sending… They remembered them all now, finally being able to touch and pleasure you as if they had already forgotten you were a real person and not just a woman from their fantasy. But you were real indeed and they could finally touch you. They were both hard at the feeling of your skin, your every curve, every whine and whimper, every spasm going through your body between them. And as much as they wanted their pleasure, too – they were sure you would give it to them, they had a whole night for that, whole life perhaps. They weren’t impatient now, not at all. They were worshipping their goddess and nothing was more important than that.

With a loud moan, eyes rolling to the back of your head, toes curling and an arched back, you came hard as they kept caressing and stimulating you through your high, shushing you softly, until you slowly came back to reality.

“I…” You started, not knowing what to say but they didn’t let you finish. Bucky kissed you greedily, pushing his tongue deep inside your mouth and grabbing your face that was hot to touch after your orgasm.

When he let go of you to catch a breath, Buck turned your face to his side to kiss you the same and you felt a knot forming in your abdomen again from their greediness and neediness.

“I want to taste you,” Bucky whispered and you nodded, unsurely looking at Buck but he didn’t seem to mind. You opened your legs even further as Bucky pushed the cover aside and went down to disappear between your legs and lick you clean from your juices.

You moaned and cupped Gale’s face, pressing his forehead to yours, gasping for air as tears streamed down your cheeks when Bucky was sucking on your sensitive, swollen clit. His moustache was tickling you in a way that only turned you on even more.

“Shh, my pretty baby,” Buck cooed to you as he grabbed your wrists and kissed them all over before joining your lips together in another passionate kiss.

You could feel on your thigh how hard he was under the fabric of his pyjama pants. In fact, he was leaking already. You moved one of your hands down to grab his length as you began to pump him lazily and he moaned into your mouth while the shiver went down his spine. After such a long time he finally could feel your soft hand on his cock. He would cum very fast on that night, of that he was sure. But he trusted you, he knew you wouldn’t judge him.

And indeed, it didn’t take long for him to spill himself on your hand. He came when he saw you cumming from Bucky’s tongue – lips parted, forehead sweaty, soft moans leaving your mouth as you trembled. The sight and your hand jerking him off were enough.

“You taste like heaven,” Bucky moved up to kiss you now as he hovered above you as if he was about to fuck you missionary but you weren’t sure if you could take him now, right after two strong orgasms. So, instead, you slid your hand underneath his pyjama pants and pumped him the same way you had pumped Buck who was now cuddled to your side and breathing heavily into your neck, covering it with kisses.

It didn’t take long for Bucky either as he closed his eyes and got lost in pleasure from your soft hand. You pumped him fast and moaned softly to spur him on and not long after you felt his warm cum coating your hand.

“Good boy,” you praised as he lowered himself to join your foreheads together. You kissed him to taste yourself and to soothe him after his own orgasm before he laid down on the other side of you and cuddled you, too.

When they were both laying like that – Buck half asleep already – you stared at your hand and wondered what had become of you. But somehow, you didn’t feel anxious. In fact, in the strong and loving arms of the both of them, you felt the safest.

You couldn’t choose one of them, ever. And you would marry Buck most likely because it was the best option but you would keep Bucky close. Always keep him close. When you imagined the possibility of him marrying another woman – even to keep up appearances – it made you sick and angry. They were your boys and you were their woman.

“My sweet boys,” you cooed as you kissed Buck’s forehead and then Bucky’s. “Go to sleep, my darlings. You’re home,” you whispered and pulled the cover up over your bodies.

MASTERLIST || BUCK MASTERLIST

#*buck #*bucky #lilysfiction #gale cleven x reader #john egan x reader #austin butler x reader #callum turner x reader #sansaorgana: Answered #rougegenshin

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sunandsstars · 1 year

Text

YAWNETU

CHAPTER 8

Tonowari x Ronal x Na’vi!Reader

Summary: With her arrival in Awa’atlu, reader seeks to find a sanctuary for her family, one that she may find in two particular individuals

Warnings: Implies drowning, mentions death

Word count: 2.2K

A/N: Guess who’s back!! 😝😝also pls pls pls double check if your name is on my taglist! if it’s on there 2x drop me a message and i’ll remove one of them, just clears some space and organises me! And thank you so much for being so patient!

Taglist: @itsyoboysparkel @dumb-fawkin-bitch @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @fanboyluvr @mooniequeen @berrybluez @bajadotcom @alwaysinwritersblock @pandoragalora @perfectprofessorloverapricot @lvrcpid @answer-the-sirens @phantomalex14 @neteyamforlife @bat1212 @sadforeversblog @ducks118 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @1800imgay @soushswag @honeybxes @lola-bunn1 @alldaysdreamers @doggodorime @theesexystallion @scarlettwch @annamarieisbae @wallpaintt @zatarias-pandora @daoyus @ambria @simp-erformarvelwomen @simpliheavenli @tojidilfs @automaticwizardnerd @lexasaurs634 @symptoms-of-moonlight @avtprint

@deviismynamewritingismygame @sunrays404 @tsireyassgurl @xx-kaitlyn-trixx-xx @that-one-daydreamer @yeosxxx @noname2246 @ok-boke @rubyrubyruuu @diosmilkymommers @annaleesworld @jiminsthickthighs @holysaladapricothero @peaches-peach-peach @enochi @thispussyshouldcomew @ihonestlydontknowwhattonamethis @kirisimpster @pompompomegranate @stevebuckysdoll @midhito @any-maybe @nyylovestowrite @omnimaki @blueberryfailureclinic @degenweeb @tejas-kris @sadlyitsme-boo-hoo @agustdeeyaa @kthehoeforfictionalmen @himbo-klown @miraxflor @behindthearcane @yanelis-world @jaxe-27 @noahboahsblog

The next few months became repetitive, lessons on how to be a Metkayina, lessons on how to be a Tsahìk, spending time with Tonowari and Ronal. It was a comfortable routine ___ got herself into, she was happy here in Awa’atlu. Her babies were safe and healthy, she was safe and healthy.

But sometimes she would be reminded of her home back in the forests, her people, her old mates, Spider.

She missed him.

___ continues to weave a new top, made of dried seaweed and shells, she enjoyed these new garments and loved wearing and designing them in her free time. They were much more freer to wear than the leather she was more used to growing up. Her mind drifted to Spider once more, wondering if the toddler was ok and if he was safe with Norm and the other tuwtute. She knew they would take good care of him, but she could not help but think he would be in better care with her. His mother.

Shaking her head she huffed, placing the half finished top onto the floor and turned her head to look out the marui, watching the waves dance in the afternoon sun, eclipse would be upon them soon and she planned to take Sylwaì and Syatxì to see the bioluminescence of the ocean. They were able to swim, being fast learners, and often had swimming lessons with Ao’nung and other Metkayina babies. Their teacher said they fit right in, it made her happy they were accepted as apart of the people despite their obvious differences.

“mmm” a mumble interrupted her train of thoughts, she looked at the source and saw Syatxì crawling his way towards her. “mmma”

“Kaltxì ‘itan” she picked him up and nuzzled her nose to his, smooching his forehead. The twins have grown quite well, now able to move about and starting to sound out words, Ronal said it would be soon they will begin to walk and talk. “Hmmm, your hair needs to be braided again” ___ talked to herself, looking at the slight exposure of her sons queue and turned him around, getting to work.

Her nimble fingers skilfully crossed over sections of hair at the crown of his head, creating a pattern that her mother taught her in a time long passed. Tying off the end of the braid the mother looked to the setting sun, purples and oranges erupting in the sky, it was almost time to take them outside.

___ stood from her seated position, picking up her son and balancing him on her hip, head swivelling to her rolled out sleeping mat and seeing Sylwaì sat up and waving around a carved out toy of an ikran. His mother smiled and walked towards him, “come on baby” she squatted and scooped him up, settling him on her other hip.

Even when the Pandoran skies darken and eclipse has taken place, the village of Awa’atlu is still active with its people. She smiled and greeted some weavers who walked by her on the elevated platform, she assumed they are going towards the forest to look for more materials. “Have you seen Ronal?” she asked them before they left her sights, the Tsahìk agreed to join her on her expedition with her own son, seeing that this bonding activity will prove beneficial for all.

“She is on the beach the last we saw” one of the men shrugged and pointed in the direction of the east end of the shoreline, waving as ___ thanked him and strolled towards the direction she was pointed to.

But as she arrived on the beach, there was no Tsahìk, or anyone for that matter. The beach was deserted save for a few Na’vi children running around by the mangrove roots. ___ chirped in confusion, yellow eyes darting left and right as she walked closer to the waters edge. “Ronal?” she called out, her sons humming and bouncing with contained excitement.

“I am here” a head poked out of the deeper ends of the water, a grin slowly forming its way onto the Metkayinan’s face. She brought up Ao’nung who squealed when he was swung in the air, laughing at the exhilaration he feels. “We arrived early and my son was impatient, I apologise flower”

Flower.

It was a nickname that Tonowari originally came up with, comparing her to one of the fauna he spotted while deep diving outside the reef. When he brought it back and showed it to his mate and friend, the Tsahìk instantly adapted to call ___ it, why would she not? When the petals were the most prettiest shade of dark blue and the middle was a gorgeous colour of amber, like her eyes. Oh Eywa.

The former Omaticayan flushed slightly but shook it out of her mind. ‘She is just being nice’ she told herself. If only she knew.

___ slowly waded herself through the water, feeling soft wet sand underneath her toes. Her ears wriggled at the sound of childish giggles from her two sons, their tails being touched by the slightly warmed sea. Soon their bodies were enveloped, saved for their heads which ___ kept above water. Even though they may have been good in their lessons, she knew their body is still not well suited for the reefs, more for the forests. So she took great care to watch over them better than the Metkayina children.

“Sa’nu!” Ao’nung cried out, seeing the bluer Na’vi getting closer to them. ___’s heart froze up slightly, eyes going straight to her Tsahìk with pointed down ears. She did not expect for the boy to call her mummy, as she is not the one who mothered him.

Ronal’s tail swished harshly under the water, a bashful look overcoming her face. She knew she was partly at fault, she always brought the boy around the women and her children, never made it clear who ___ was to her. Ao’nung saw a women who was close with his mother and decided that she too would be worthy of the title.

She did not bother correcting him.

“I am sorry-“

“You do not have to be. I saw this coming. Ao’nung does take a large liking to you ___. But I apologise if it makes you uncomfortable” Ronal turned towards the walls of her village in the sea, watching the small fires lit on the outskirts where the canoes continue to row.

“Kehe. It does not make me uncomfortable. I just did not expect it” ___ did not see the grin that formed on the others face.

“Za’u. We will go deeper with ilus” Ronal made a call and a small swarm of creatures swam over to them, clicking and singing in happiness. Ao’nung reached out to tap one on the head with his four fingers, squealing when the tiny ilu nudged his round tummy.

___ let Sylwaì and Syatxì make tsaheylu with the smaller ones, knowing that it is normal to do so gives her comfort. Ilus are like pa’li, but more sociable and safer to bond with.

The boys little fingers grip the tiny reins that connect the animals queues together and slowly swam off to find Ao’nung while their mother established the bond herself on a much larger ilu, following closely behind.

The family dove under the surface, watching as the reef became alive with bright colours. Even though ___ has seen it all before, Pandora never fails to take her breath away. She turned her head to the left to sign to her companion. “Where should we go?”

“I think it is time I show you our spirit tree”

If the Omaticayan was out of the water she would gasp with delight. She has heard from the elders that their spirit tree lies within the cove of ancestors not far from their village, they told her that unlike the giant tree she was used to back in the forest, it is more like a large bundle of sea weed. She was most excited to see it and wanted to venture out herself, but she knew that she needed permission from the Tsahìk or be accompanied by another villager. This may be her home now, but the spiritual tree is something that is most sacred.

Ronal saw the growing excitement on her face and grinned a rare smile.

This will be a night neither one would forget.

The cove of ancestors was better at eclipse, she has been told. But seeing it in person surpassed all expectations. Sylwaì was now huddled in her arms, while her other son and Ao’nung stayed with Ronal, the two small ilus having a chance to take a well deserved break.

“Look down there, flower”

The glow of the spirit tree shone a bright purple and pink hue, its leaves swayed prettily in the deep ends of the waters, curling and twisting to create a giant mass of virtue.

“It is beautiful. Unlike anything I have ever seen”

“Srane…” blue eyes clashed with yellow and the world came to a standstill, if the children were not here, she would surely confess her feelings.

Ao’nung noticed the tree and immediately wriggled in his mothers hold, wanting to go down and see for himself, splashing in the water and swimming to the very top leaf.

Ronal sighed and rolled her eyes slightly at the interruption but smiled a little, diving after him while still holding Syatxì, not waiting for her friend to follow.

After taking a large breath, the two at the surface dove down and followed after the others. Going towards the more shallower tip of the tree to ensure the children would not eventually lose their breath.

“Make the bond” Ronal signed, connecting her hands together and then taking Syatxì’s queue, touching the pink tips of the braid to the tree. “And do not worry, Eywa will give them air”

___ nodded in trust and did the same to Sylwaì and then herself. Feeling a familiar calmness wash over her, watching the colours around fade into a tunnel.

The eye of Eywa.

The lush green grass and tall trees of the forest was not what she expected when she opened her eyes again. But to be honest she did not expect anything.

Laughter filled her pointed ears and she turned around, following the sounds as her feet guided her towards a pretty river with a large waterfall just a few meters up ahead. She recognised the area, it was one from her childhood, an area nearby home tree that her mother and father always took her to.

“My my, you certainly have been busy”

“Sempul!”

___ cried out and crashed into the man who sired her for as long as she lived. She was devastated when her parents went off to fight in the war, both being strong and respected warriors in the clan, but she mourned so much when she found out that they did not live. ___ did not get a chance to see them for a long time since her pregnancy and her arrival in Awa’atlu, not until now.

“Mawey ‘ite. Mawey” Her father pulled back and brushed his daughters loose hair from her face, noting the lack of braids. “Healthy grandchildren. Eywa had blessed us with a wonderful family, one that we hope will grow even larger?”

The young women blinked once. Then twice. Confusion fulling her face. “Sempul…What do you mean. I have not met anyone recently. Not since…”

“Those kalweyaveng. They did not deserve you daughter” ___’s mother approached from the water, holding her grandsons on her hips who played with her beaded hair. “We are glad you have found refuge with the reef Na’vi. They have been kind to you, yes?”

“Srane”

“Of course they have Hìfey, you have seen the way the clan leaders treat her. I would not be surprised if they get together soon. That will happen yes?”

“Father!”

“Kehe. He is right ‘ite. They treat you like a mate, her son calls you mother. Do not give me that look. We see and hear through Eywa” Hìfey rolled her large eyes and smiled softly, watching as silent tears welded in her beautiful child’s eyes. “My heart, there is no need to cry. Tell them how you feel”

___ sniffled and turned back to hug her father once more for comfort. “What if they reject me. Treat me like Jake and Neytiri. What if they cast me out. I cannot let my sons live as an outcast forever sa’nok”

Hìfey shared a look with her husband, one of understanding, a look that needed no words. “Daughter, I refuse to believe that would happen. Have faith my child. Everything will be alright, trust us. Trust Eywa”

And with that, her eyes closed in complete bliss. Heart slowing down as a bright light washed over her vision, she will tell them how she feels.

It is time for a new beginning.

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#*ੈ✩‧₊˚ yawnetu #avatar the way of water #atwow #x reader #tonowari #ronal #polyamourous #OC #metkayina #avatar x reader #avatar the way of water x reader #ronal x reader #tonowari x reader #angst #fluff

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thecosmicangel · 2 months

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Do you feel you’re struggling with manifesting? Well here’s a manifesting rant + my experience & advice.

Hope you find it useful and helps you out 💗✨

You may not notice or realize but are you forcing things to happen? If you are too focused on "forcing" something to happen in the physical reality/3d it will just bring in more resistance & "blockages or delays", instead of trying to force the 3d to change or make it happen, focus on shifting your perspective, because if you are trying to make something happen or force it to happen it most likely means you still don't believe you have your manifestation & you don't believe in your power to make things happen. I must admit that when I was beginning loa and using affirmations I would affirm for hours expecting myself to get instant results ( I was forcing myself to see & make things change in the 3d through affirmations). I was thinking that the affirmations were going to bring me the manifestation but then I would see no proof or movement show up for me which would make me think I didn't have my manifestation and that affirmations weren't working, but I realized affirmations aren't going to make anything happen if my mindset was still not changing. I would affirm for hours and then look for evidence or signs everywhere, which was me assuming I didn't have what I wanted. I was expecting instant results in the 3D when my mindset was the same & NOT changing yet. Affirmations are a helpful method to help you shift your mindset to believe in your assumptions & shift into desired reality. Its not that affirmations create your desired reality, it just helps reprogram your mind to change your perspective. If you catch yourself looking at the 3d to prove you right so you can then believe its possible or that it's already yours, you are not standing firm in your belief that you are the god of your reality and still giving the 3d more validation than yourself. If you truly believed in your manifestation being yours & that it is already done ,you would let go of the need to force a change in the 3d / validation from the 3D. Trust that eventually with repeating your affirmations you will get to the point where you believe what you are affirming, you will also understand that you are the operant power & the only change you need to focus on is your mind, your affirmations will become your dominant thoughts and will start to reflect back to the 3D= you experiencing your manifestation in the physical reality.

Now I don't mean to discourage anyone because we are experiencing the human experience and it's normal to experience sadness, anxiety, anger, or be impatient. Whenever you catch yourself thinking from lack, having negative thoughts, doubts, fears or looking outside of yourself for validation remember to take back your power and remind yourself of your power as the god of your reality. Affirm that everything you want is already yours. Be gentle and patient with yourself, even though things can happen instantly & overnight it is also normal for it to take some time to see the inner change manifest into the outer world. All you have to focus on is thinking in your favor and making sure your thoughts are in line with the new story & stop giving power/attention to the old story or thoughts that are not in line with what you want.

Time is simply an illusion because as humans we experience things in a logical sense or pattern, look at time as a way of measuring a set of pictures in motion. Think of it as if we didn’t experience time everything would be like watching a fast forward video on a loop and eventually you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference from the beginning, middle or end it would all just become a loop of pictures playing at a very fast speed and eventually the picture wouldn’t even be visible. The subconscious mind doesn't experience time, it is able to experience everything now that is why we are able to use our imagination. Tapping into the quantum field where infinite realities is possible with imagination. Think about it, whatever you want to imagine you could do so in this instant. Now i want you to imagine that you are in planet mars and it's snowing pink snow and you see a purple elephant walking in front of you. Did you imagine it? well you experienced that instantly as soon as you read it right? Well that's exactly what we mean when we say if you want validation go to your imagination/4d because the scene I described exist in the moment you imagined it you experienced by seeing it in your inner eye, you would only have to saturate your mind to believe you are there now and eventually you would see it in the physical form. Now some may say " well that's impossible because there's no way a purple elephant is in mars and its snowing pink snow" well that's not going to be possible for you if you have all those limiting beliefs, but if you were able to imagine it its very possible & real. Now some people may say " well its hard for me to visualize" well stop assuming that its hard. Start practicing visualization, start with small things and eventually work your self up to be able to visualize & be in your imagination with more ease.

Now let’s talk about dreaming, we all have dreams when we sleep right? Some dreams we don’t remember but we do most of them. I personally believe that dreams are our subconscious mind traveling to different dimensions or parallel realities, some dreams are more based on our subconscious programming, that is why you may dream of things you have been watching or hearing because our subconscious mind picks up on everything & our dreams are just a recollection of everything stored in our subconscious minds. Nightmares are just subconscious fears. Our subconscious mind is always telling us a story through our dreams about our deep beliefs or simply giving us glimpses of many infinite realities. This is why some dreams could seem prophetic because we get to travel different dimensions/ realities in our dreams. Lucid dreaming is when you become aware that you are dreaming which allows you to take control of your dream. Which is the same as real life, once you realize you are the god of your reality you are able to take control of your life and manifest what you want ( you are no longer sleeping on the fact of your power & who you are). Lucid dreaming can also be used as a portal to be able to astral project which is were your astral body is able to leave your physical body and you are able to go anywhere in the astral realm. The astral realm I would compare to our imagination/ 4D, where you can encounter other entities, spirits and things not visible to our naked eye. Now you see how you’re able to dream, lucid & astral project where so many things happen & time wasn’t a concern. Another phenomenon you hear so many stories of is people who go into comas for years and they wake up and say they remember the day before so for them time didn’t happen they simply woke up the next day, or some of them wake up and say they had a whole life while they were in a coma and wake up shocked that it wasn’t “real”. People are amazed at how such thing is possible but it may all be due to their subconscious being impacted due to accident/ trauma that put them in a coma which shifted them into a different reality, when they wake up from the coma they shift back to the reality they were in before the coma. (Now I have gone into a rant about dreams and parallel realities etc, so you may be like what’s your point? My point is that time is AN ILLUSION & that parallel infinite realities exist and we are always experiencing & have direct access to the quantum field everyday in our sleep/ meditative state, so why do you not believe that you are able to shift into your desired reality? Or rely so much on logic? Or just having doubts that affirmations aren’t working or doubting the law? The power of the subconscious mind is so big some can’t even comprehend how powerful it is!)

Now back to manifesting; A tip I would suggest is to meditate or take some time to pay attention to your thoughts or what your current beliefs are when you are not affirming, pay attention to any limiting beliefs, fears or doubts and why you have them. Once you catch these thoughts, replace those thoughts with the opposite affirmation , so for example if your manifesting an SP and you catch yourself thinking " what if he's with someone else" , " he's too busy to text me" or " what if it doesn't work out" make the affirmation " he only has eyes for me, he only wants me" ,"he always makes time for me, I am his top priority" , “everything is always working out in my favor all the time and things are better than I could ever imagine”. Stop worrying about the what ifs instead change your perspective to “ what if everything works out exactly or even better than I can imagine. " or affirm that you do not have any doubts about whatever it’s is you want. Basically for any negative thought simply replace it with the opposing thoughts that aids your new story.

Now remember even though you don't see movement in the 3d, trust that things are moving in your favor. Affirmations are a helpful method to shift your mindset in your favor, and helping you remove all limiting beliefs. Something that helped me realize I had my manifestations all along was that we are not "trying to get" our manifestation, what we are doing is removing all the limiting programming. We already have everything we want but the limiting beliefs, fears and doubts are in the way, giving off the illusion of lack. Fear is simply (False Evidence Appearing Real). Limiting perspective/ beliefs are obstructing our awareness that we already have our desires. We are already experiencing the life we want but we haven’t caught up to that moment yet in the 3D.

As always remember the power is in you, what you give your power/ awareness to becomes the dominant thoughts, which become your reality. So if you are seeing things that you don't want remember you gave it the power to become so, or it's simply just old programming playing out. The 3d, ego and time are always the last to the party. When you begin to reprogram your mind it might seem like all of the sudden opposing thoughts, fears and doubts begin to fill your mind but this is simply the ego trying to hold on to the old story, the ego is always trying to protect itself because it is scared of "dying"/change so it will do anything to protect you. The ego is aware of the internal change, it knows that what it knew & was familiar with is dying out so it goes into panic mode & fights for its survival. Just reassure yourself everything is fine, there is no reason to be scared and simply continue to feed into the new story that you want.

⚡️work on regulating your nervous system, there is tons of videos on YouTube with nervous system regulation meditations, and breathing techniques. I usually do this every Sunday to reset & regulate my nervous system, but you can also do this as needed if you are dealing with lots of anxiety.

⚡️Worrying/ doubting is giving power to the things you don’t want. ( as long as they are not your dominant thoughts they won’t manifest)

⚡️before I was able to receive my manifestation in the 3D I told myself to look at it as a movie , my desire was the end of the movie and everything in between was the unfolding / current reality / present moment. Even though I watched the ending only ( my assumption/ affirmations) I didn’t know how the movie was going to unfold. Even if the movie showed no clues or did not point at all to how it would it end, I already knew the ending of the movie so I wasn’t going to question it because I already saw the ending and knew it would happen for a fact. (If you are not seeing any movement, it doesn’t mean things aren’t happening for you, you will eventually be hit in the face with all your manifestation in full force).

⚡️From my experience I realized I had manifested my breakup with my sp, I realized I started to think of the worst scenarios, what could go wrong due to past relationships, I also started assuming that my sp was going to become distant and end things with me and that ended up happening. The same power I had to create the breakup was also the same power I had to bring us back together. When we were apart I realized how I had manifested/ created him to act the way he did whether for good or bad, this realization was shortly after I found the law of assumption. Sometimes it’s helpful to analyze or reflect back on how you have manifested previous things whether people/ money/ situations/ literally anything. It helps you become aware of your thoughts / beliefs or if certain methods helped more than others . For me I realized day dreaming or ( visualization ) is a strong method for me.

⚡️limit your loa, manifesting content to a few couple people. Too much information can lead you to feel lost or feel like you aren’t doing enough.

⚡️stick to a method / routine that works for you, you don’t have to try every single challenge or method. This implies you feel what you are doing isn’t enough or isn’t working.

⚡️you create your rules, you don’t have to stick to anyone’s rules, you don’t even have to take my advice you decide what you want to believe in or what you believe to work for you.

⚡️be patient with yourself!!!! Things can change in your favor at any moment now! If you are having a “bad day” and catch yourself spiraling, feeling anxious or everything is the opposite of what you are manifesting, simply give yourself some time to breathe and collect your thoughts, when you have ease down your nerves remind yourself that even with what you are being shown you can still change things because you are the god of your reality, nothing is impossible.

⚡️stop looking at the 3D for progress or proof!! Always go within.

-xoxo, the cosmic angel ⭐️🪽

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as-is-above-so-below · 9 months

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The Captain - Simon Riley x Sniper!Reader, Wife!Reader

Blurb 2: Too Fast

I'M ALIVE! Thank you all for your patience :) I've had so many big life changes in the last four months (and in the coming months) - it's hard being an adult, people. I've been traveling (mainly visiting @lethalchiralium a bunch <3), planning a big move, looking to land a new job...all the things. Anyway! Please enjoy. Blessed be, and Happy Yuletide!

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“Si…”

“Hm?”

“He’s getting too big.”

Simon turned his chair slightly away from his desk to peek over his shoulder. In the doorway to their office stood Freyja with a six-month-old Arthur on her arm, clad in a cow-print onesie. The little hood was pulled up over his head, sporting fluffy little ears on top, along with a pair of horns.

He just about melted when Frey pouted at him and sniffled, rubbing their son’s back. Simon was up in an instant, padding across the carpet to stand by her side, a soft, sympathetic smile gracing his features. He bent his head a little and attempted to get the baby’s attention, gently brushing his back with his fingers “Art. Artie…” he hummed, the last syllable drawn out a bit. “Look at Dada, Art.”

Arthur did eventually turn his head, after a moment, preoccupied with gumming his toy and confused by the interruption. The hood that used to hang over his face and block his vision now sat snug on his fine hair. There was no need to adjust it back to meet his big, curious eyes.

“Hi, pup.”

Simon wasn’t his preferred parent by any means; that privilege was reserved for his mum. Still, on seeing a familiar face, the baby smiled around his teething ring, and his fat cheeks chubbed up as he cooed and wiggled in Freyja’s hold. He pressed his hand between the two, his palm against Arthur’s chest, and took the infant onto his forearm, his little back against his chest.

Simon let out a dramatic huff, kissed Art’s head, then patted his belly. “Oh, yeah,” he said, giving his wife a playful look. “Look at those big, manly legs of yours. Thing’s a bit tight on ye, now.”

The baby craned his neck, trying to look back at his dad as he spoke, and quickly getting frustrated and crying out. Simon chuckled and turned him around, supporting his neck and peppering kisses on Art’s rosy cheek. When he was satisfied, he leaned down for a quick kiss from Freyja.

“It lasted longer than I thought it would. He’s nearly busting out of it.”

“Simon!”

“What? He’s six months old, Freyja. He’s been wearing it since he was born. Oversized, might I add.”

“Shut up. It’s my favorite. My little moo cow.”

“We can buy him a new one.”

“He’s growing too fast. I hate it.”

Don’t I know it?

To Simon, it felt like Artie had only been born yesterday. Where did the baby in front of him, who was sitting up on his own and already using a sign or two, come from? He had no idea, couldn’t say where the time went. God forbid he blinks, and suddenly he’ll be walking and chasing after his sister-

No. It’s fine. That’s what babies do, yeah? They start eating solids, learn to crawl, then walk. Then they go to their first day of primary school, then…secondary…

Stop it.

He settled for a soft, “I know, love.”

Arthur cooed up at him again, a sound known to pull easy smiles from the man. He would listen to it forever, if he could.

“Yeah? Do you like that idea?” Simon asked, tracing patterns on Art’s back with his fingers again. “Do you want a new cow onesie?” A little smile from Art. “Alright, pup. Dad will get you one.”

taglist: @esthervalea, @miss-leto, @sweetestcowboy, @blueoorchid, @apocalypticseagull, @eatingtheworldsoffanfiction, @covenlovenn, @330bpm-whiplash, @gnoccheyy, @jaggernauticals, @dwkfan, @untoldshortsofthefandomsdoms, @bobfloydsgf, @maviee, @thomaslefteyebrow, @kyovy, @prodyng, @scout-fang, @avalkyrieofparis, @misshoneypaper, @berryjuicyy, @voteforpedropascal, @beakami, @addictedtothefictionalworld, @kaghost, @witchy-writing, @67-angelofthelordme-67, @thychuvaluswife, @mysticalpandabear, @cabreezer0117, @halfmoth-halfman, @peachesofteal, @nirvanaaaonly, @ysljoon, @ssoliva, @fenixyrie, @voodoo-writer, @eleazarkate, @tomhardy41, @glitterypirateduck, @cringeycookies, @captainquake42

#simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #call of duty #as is above so below #the captain as is above so below #simon riley #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #simon riley x sniper!reader #husband simon riley #simon riley x wife!reader

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flippinpancakes64 · 3 months

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Day at the pool with the Cullens

I love pools and I love swimming so here we are

All additional photos I found on Pinterest

Edward:

Volleyball expert

Loves having competitions to see who can "hold" their breath the longest

(There's never an actual winner, it's just who gets bored first)

Loves to tackle you in the water

Can and will sneak up on you to pull you under

Roughhousing x100

Will think you're boring if you just sit on the side of the pool

He wants to play, dammit

Wears a nose plug unfortunately

He doesn't like the feel of the water in his nose

Can and will stay there all day

He doesn't go out of his way to go to the pool, but when he does he never wants to leave

I imagine he'd like swim shorts with a pattern

He doesn't want to wear something boring

Alice:

Diving board queen

She could go to the Olympic level if she wanted to

Definitely an attacker

Will sneak up behind people just to scare them

Does that freaky thing where they go underwater to swim through people's legs when they don't expect it

Loves seeing how fast she can lap the pool

Loves getting on Emmett's shoulders and wrestling people

Splashes people

Not too fond of the beach balls or volleyballs but she will play

She wears something intricate and definitely uncomfortable looking

Stylish tho

Jasper:

Not really interested

He came along because everyone else went

He prefers baseball

He's in the water though

He might join in on volleyball or diving, but I think he'd prefer to just chill out on a raft or a tube

He just wants to enjoy all of the positive emotions around him

He might swim around with you though if you ask him

He's not opposed to doing anything

Would really enjoy a lazy river though

He just wants to veg out and I love that for him

Just lets Alice choose whatever she wants him to wear

Has absolutely no preference at all

Rosalie:

You're lucky if she touches the water at all

Prefers to lay by the poolside and "tan"

She really just enjoys the heat from the sun

Like a lizard under a heat lamp

Might dip her toes in

If you beg her to get in she might go to the shallow end and stand there for a little bit

If you splash her it's over for you

So best just to leave her alone :')

Will throw the diving toys though

Like those girls on tiktok who are tanning and throwing the toys for their boyfriends like they're dogs

That's her

She thinks it's funny

MIGHT get up to retrieve the ball if you guys throw it out on accident

Heavy on the might tho

She'd wear something cute with a pretty pattern

Emmett:

King of the Pool

Roughhousing final boss

Will start actually wrestling with people

He brought the water guns

Shows absolutely no mercy

His favorite game is water chicken

Always the base guy

Even though he's not supposed to be fighting, he still does

Is the one mostly diving for the toys Rosalie throws

Wears goggles just because they look funny

Has broken the bottom of the pool before

Would do it again too

Likes to pick people up and throw them as far as he can

Jumped off the diving board and did a cannonball once

That's how he broke the pool floor

Wears the most idiotic trunks he can find

Since it's only their family at the pool, Alice can't use the whole "keeping good appearances" thing as a reason why he should wear what she picks

Carlisle:

Likes to let loose a little bit

He has to act old to keep appearances, so everyone forgets he's physically only about 25

Like Alice I think he'd enjoy the diving board

Would love to unwind on an inner tube as well

He likes to swim to the bottom of the deep end and just sit there

He finds it peaceful

Won't join in with the fighting though

He's here to relax and have a good time

Keeps it simple and classy as far as suits go

For the longest time he wore a speedo though...

Alice quickly put an end to that

Esme:

A less grouchy Rosalie

She's here to enjoy the sun and the warmth

She would also enjoy sitting on a raft and floating though

Lazy. River.

She would enjoy watching more than anything

Would keep score and help be a referee

Would also throw the diving toys

I feel like she would enjoy just wading around though

Making laps or just floating slowly

This is her big relaxation day

I think she would enjoy suits with a bit more coverage

And she would love flowy skirts or shawls

It makes her feel elegant <3

Vampire! Bella:

Another roughhouser here folks

She went her whole human life being a walking accident, of course she's going to make the most of actually having reflexes

Loves to do just about anything

Volleyball, basketball, diving, chicken, wrestling, water gun fight

Literally anything

Is usually Edward's partner for chicken

Loves to do things that humans absolutely cannot do

She's still getting used to it and everything

One time she stayed underwater for a full 5 hours

Just to see if she could

Will ask you to time her laps around the pool

She goes for a more practical suit

Something similar to what she had when she was human

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kurikive · 2 months

Text

MINECRAFT — 10. d-day

Y/N went out fast the night before. Her reasoning for the whole melatonin thing being her insomnia. She feared if she slept too late she wouldn’t wake up early the next day, but given she borderline overdosed on sleeping gummies, she would have not woken up at all if it weren’t for her friends.

NewJeans’ manager had told her to meet at the PC room at 8 in the morning to discuss some final things and prepare the computers so that they could start the filming at 10.

It was just going to be a casual Minecraft gameplay with the NewJeans girls. They planned to play Build Battle for the first half and Bedwars for the second half. The member with the most wins across both minigames would have to battle a 1v1 in Minecraft Hunger Games with Y/N to win the prize.

Oh, right. The prize. It really wasn’t much more than a box of expensive beef, which surely would trigger the competitive nerve in some of the members. The video was going to be filmed for Y/N's channel, so she wasn’t going to be the one competing for it anyways. And yes, she did buy the meat with her own money, but considering how much she’s getting paid right now and how much she’s going to get paid, it’s really nothing.

7:19. Y/N was already wearing the outfit Hyewon had picked for her, deeply breathing in and out to calm her nerves. Anton and Jiwoo smile as they try to talk her into departing Nervousville and taking the bus to Peaceburg. Also to take the bus to the PC room, because as popular as their friend is, she still uses public transportation. She says it’s better for the environment, and although it is, it still causes her to get recognized from time to time.

“What if I bail?”

“I’ll kill you. No joke. I’m a nepo baby, I can get away with it.” Anton says. Y/N can’t not believe him.

“Okay! Well, see you guys later!”

It’s been twenty minutes since Y/N arrived at the PC room. They chose one she used to go to a lot throughout middle and high school. It looks a lot bigger without people.

Y/N had brought her three best cameras for this and was currently setting them up. She didn’t really know where the NewJeans members were going to sit, but she was setting them up so that the members’ faces could (hypothetically) all be seen.

She didn’t really know when the girls were going to arrive and it was eating at her brain. Every few minutes a rhythm of snaps was heard from the Y/N, a habit to try and calm her nerves. Every other second she pulled on the side of her black jeans, accidentally pulling at the skin of her thighs below the cloth.

One of the staff took note of these little quirks and patterns. A young woman approached her slowly, but Y/N only took notice of her when she spoke, “You don’t need to be nervous!” A comforting smile tugged at the woman’s lips, “The girls are super nice and they’re very excited to work with you.”

Y/N, stunned at her sudden appearance, only bowed with a nervous giggle. “Thank you…” She said lowly.

“I’m Ha Sooyoung. Stylist.” The woman extends her hand towards the younger, who shyly shakes her hand. “How old are you, by the way?”

“Twenty… I'm.” The unwanted fashion of mixing up her words comes back to haunt Y/N in the most unconventional situations. She just hopes it doesn’t happen in front of the members.

Sooyoung smiles at the speed in which the younger’s face flushes a rose color. “You have a really nice face, you know?” The comment throws Y/N off. Not in a bad way, of course. She’s heard endless compliments about her appearance; she’s very aware she’s good looking. But the remark coming from a professional stylist definitely surprises her a bit.

The woman, noticing Y/N’s expression, is quick to retaliate in case of a misunderstanding, “Not in a weird way, I swear!” The older waves her hands as if trying to shake away the other’s concerns (there weren’t any). “I’m much older than you, please. I meant, like, God…”

Y/N picks up on Sooyoung’s frustration and tries to fix the situation, “No! No, I get it. It’s okay, Sooyoung-ssi.” Sooyoung doesn’t know if she’s laughing at the formality or at her own mistake, but it’s funny regardless.

“I meant,” the woman clears her throat, “You have a face that’s great for modeling. Have you ever tried it?”

“Uh, no. I don’t think brands want a YouTuber as a model.” A sheepish laugh leaves Y/N’s lips at her bad joke. Thankfully Sooyoung laughs with her.

“Hey, well, they might after this! Who knows?” Sooyoung takes something out of her bag while the both share giggles, “If you ever want to try it out, I’m a photographer on the side. Could help you out, y’know?”

Y/N’s eyes widen when Sooyoung hands her a business card, phone and e-mail on the bottom, but instead of her name, ‘YVES’ is written on the top in bold letters.

“That’s my personal phone number. Unnie is just fine, by the way.” Y/N receives another one of the older’s charming smiles with a bow and a “Thank you, unnie!” before Sooyoung pats her shoulder and leaves her side at the sound of her name being called.

“Oh! The girls are gonna be here soon. Get prepared.”

And Y/N’s back to pulling at her jeans.

masterlist | next

taglist # @yumtooki @saysirhc @modanisgf @yerimbrit @sixflame438 @miinatozakiii @hotluvlet @mym1na @keiji-jin @wintersgff @wonyoungssi @kimminjiissosjdirbidnsjje @shozeu @nwjnsloona @kaypanaq @pandafuriosa60 @linnnsworld @hwabyul4wheesun

#newjeans x reader #newjeans smau #minji smau #minji x reader #mc-kmj

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world0fmadness · 2 months

Text

LITTLE LADYBUG

nico rosberg x wife! reader x ( platonic! ) oc daughters

♡ how ruby rosberg / little ladybug came to be!

୨୧ are you guys liking the little rabbit and little ladybug works? they’re becoming my favourite to make, i love feeding the fellow nico rosberg lovers <3 posting this before i go to sleep so super sorry for any major errors ^_^

♡ related smau available here, related hc available here and here | view my formula 1 masterlist here

reading music recommendations: all to you by kitty craft - daydream by gunter kallmann choir - love by lana del rey

♡ when you told nico you were pregnant for a second time, he was over the moon

୨୧ you told him late at night, he was moping on the couch because he still just couldn’t accept that his little rabbit was growing up…

♡ little rabbit was already asleep in bed and you two were just cuddled up on the couch, watching a show, your hand stroking his hair, kissing his shoulder, doing your best to comfort him

୨୧ he was so in his own head that when you blurted it out, he didn’t even realise what you said at first

“ oh, that’s nice miene liebe… wait, what did you say? ” ( he sat up so fast you think he might’ve pulled something in his back )

♡ he’s SO excited for the rest of the night, he’s like a kid that can’t sleep the night before christmas

୨୧ he just keeps giving you kisses and telling you how he can’t wait to hold the baby in his arms and decorate a nursery again

♡ you decide to tell little rabbit in the morning because nico already just can’t wait to start preparing things and you know he couldn’t keep it a secret if he tried

୨୧ you guys eventually go off to bed, nico wearing the biggest smile you’ve ever seen <3

♡ spooning in bed, while he thinks you’re asleep, he starts gently tracing patterns on your stomach despite not having a bump yet

୨୧ then you hear him start quietly mumbling too, talking to the baby about how loved they’ll be and how they’re going to have the best big sister they could ask for and the most beautiful mother

♡ did you cry a little? absolutely, but you made sure to not make it noticeable, wanting him to feel like this moment was between him and his second baby and them only…

୨୧ you fall asleep soon after with the strongest feeling of love in your chest

♡ in the morning while having some breakfast in bed, courtesy of nico, he carries his little rabbit in ( her giggling and playfully kicking at him ) and places her on the bed before sitting next to you, getting ready to tell her she’ll have a baby sibling soon

୨୧ nico is the one to tell her, of course he is, he can’t sit still and it just comes out

“ you’re going to be a big sister little rabbit! isn’t that exciting? you’ll be the best big sister ever hm? ” ( he can’t even get the words out without smiling )

♡ at first, she’s a little confused… how? will they be delivered tomorrow? she doesn’t really understand… but nico explains to her how her little sibling is very much still growing in your stomach and it’ll be some months before she can see them

୨୧ but she’s so excited! she really wants it to be a girl so that she can play barbies with her

♡ nico is excited that she’s excited and it just turns into a big cuddle fest on the bed with her asking many questions about how it works and if she can help name them

୨୧ both of them treat you like a porcelain doll in the months after telling them… you think nico was protective? somehow, little rabbit is even more careful around you! her personality is just his X10 <3

♡ she doesn’t even like to see you on your feet, always gently leading you by your hand to the couch or a seat in the garden while nico watches with a smile, he taught her well

୨୧ one thing you craved a LOT during your first pregnancy was fruit, mainly strawberries!

♡ and when rosie was old enough to eat fruit, strawberries turned out to be an all time favourite for her too which would likely be the same for the new baby

୨୧ nico figured there was a pretty big possibility the same thing would happen with this pregnancy so a couple days after you told him you were pregnant again, nico decided to do some gardening with rosie and plant some strawberry plant seeds in the garden, strawberries ready to be eaten would likely be there by the time the new baby was a toddler

♡ fast forward a couple months and you’re really starting to show!

୨୧ and this is when some issues arise…

♡ rosie was excited

୨୧ but now things are really starting to come into perspective for her…

♡ what if papa doesn’t love me anymore? he’s only going to love the new baby…

୨୧ what if they don’t have time for me anymore? all their time will be taken by the new baby…

♡ nico knows something is up with his little rabbit right away, he knows his baby better than anyone

୨୧ you guys sit her down on the couch one day and ask her what’s wrong, why she looks so upset lately and when she tells you…

♡ nico is a wreck! he cannot believe what he’s hearing from his little rabbit

୨୧ him not loving her anymore? not having time for her anymore? he hates that his first baby, the baby that made him feel a type of love he’d never felt before and brought him so much happiness, has been feeling like this and almost wants to cry :(

♡ you both immediately shower her in kisses, softly calling her a silly girl and cuddling her, telling her how she’d always be their little rabbit and they’d never not love her or not have time for her

୨୧ you decide to spend the day doing whatever rosie wanted, which wasn’t much, she just wanted to cuddle with you guys in your bed again and watch a movie, just like when she was little

♡ and so you do, you three get into the king sized bed with your little rabbit curled up between you, her head on nico’s chest and her legs over your lap while she watches cars

୨୧ you and nico’s intertwined hands lay over her and nico kisses her head every few minutes, it didn’t take long for you all to fall asleep, the serene environment lulling you all into a deep sleep, staying cuddled up for the rest of the night until the sun came up

♡ for this pregnancy, you and nico decide to find out the gender before the baby is born, just to know if you should pull all of rosie’s old baby clothes out of storage or not

୨୧ nico and rosie are both SO sure it’s a girl… nico says he just has a feeling in his heart and rosie just really wants a sister so it’s probably going to be a girl right?

“ i can feel it, miene liebe! it’s a girl, i know it, we’re getting another little girl ” ( you swear he was born to be a girl dad, he’s so excited )

♡ spoiler alert: they were right! when you got the ultrasound with nico by you side, holding your hand, and the nurse told you it was a girl he got the most cheeky smile on his face!

୨୧ well, it was cheeky for about a second before turning really warm and full of love…

♡ and don’t even get started on when you told rosie! she was wearing the same excited smile for about two weeks after you told her before finally calming down

୨୧ but hey, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t looking forward to seeing nico be a girl dad again ( that’s an understatement, him being a cute girl dad to your little rabbit is what got you pregnant again, you jumped his bones almost every night )

♡ eventually the time comes and your water breaks, thankfully rosie is spending time with her grandparents on nico’s side so she doesn’t witness the panic and disorganisation of getting you to the hospital ( yeah, you really hadn’t learned from the first time )

୨୧ this birth happens much faster than last time and you’re so thankful for that! you don’t think you could handle a birth like rosie’s again…

♡ nico is still just as emotional as the first time though, a soft smile on his face and tears dripping down his cheeks before his baby is even crying

୨୧ you want to laugh but manage hold it in, just waiting for your girl to be placed on your chest

♡ when she is, nico immediately points out two birthmarks, one on each side of her back… just like a ladybug with dotted wings

“ oh, look at that… you’re like a little ladybug, hm? our unique little ladybug ” ( now it’s your turn to cry, you just love him so damn much )

୨୧ nico’s parents eventually make it to the hospital with rosie in tow, she’s practically bouncing from wall to wall, just wanting to meet her little sister already and when nico lifts her up onto the hospital bed next to you…

♡ she just fell in love with her! staring down at her baby sister’s small face resting on your chest, she knew she had a future friend for life

୨୧ nico absolutely cannot get over his two children being so close! his little rabbit and little ladybug, his babies, the children that brought him so much joy!

♡ seeing them bond just fills him with this sense of comfort, knowing their bond will be forever unbreakable, constantly thanking you for giving him two beautiful children and a life of eternal happiness

୨୧ when you return home from the hospital, it’s damn near impossible for you to get ruby out of nico’s arms…

♡ he just really wants to cherish her being a newborn as much as he can, knowing that eventually she’ll grow up just like his little rabbit did and he won’t be able to fit her in his palms anymore :(

୨୧ he still absolutely loves dressing his girls up, especially little ladybug ( mainly because little rabbit doesn’t really need help getting dressed anymore ) and she has SO many dresses and onesies and bows with ladybug patterns on them…

“ how was i not supposed buy it? it has ladybugs on it, it’s so cute, miene liebe! yes, i know she already has a lot of clothes but just… ” ( he goes on a ramble about why he just had to get this dress, he simply couldn’t not buy it for his little ladybug, no matter how full her closet it )

♡ since you guys kept all of little rabbit’s old dresses and shoes, little ladybug wears them a lot and it nearly makes nico cry seeing his little ladybug in her sisters old baby clothes!

୨୧ whenever his little ladybug wears one of little rabbits old dresses, he always talks to her about where he got it for her and how it reminded him of her, always making sure his little rabbit knows he still loves her so much

“ my little rabbit! did you see little ladybug wearing your old dress today? you know i bought that because it reminded me of your eyes, oh you were so cute in it and now she’s so cute in in too… what did i do to deserve such perfect daughters, hm? ” ( rosie gets embarrassed whenever nico talks about what she was like as a baby but in a few years, she’ll think back on it fondly )

♡ he’s also actually really good at doing their hair! i mean, maybe he can’t do all of those eccentric braids but if they asked, he’d definitely stay up all night watching tutorials on youtube <3 anything to make his babies happy

୨୧ whenever nico is away commentating f1 events, he’s guaranteed to mention his little rabbit and little ladybug at LEAST once

♡ he’s just so proud of his little family and wants everyone to know how amazing his wife is and how adorable his little girls are

“ well, my girls are doing great back home! little ladybug was a smooth birth so my beautiful wife is thankfully recovering healthily and she’s settling in fine, little rabbit is just happy to finally be able to see her little sister ” ( the bright smile he has on his face whilst talking about them could be enough to blind someone )

୨୧ you guys got little rabbit her own rabbit for her 6th birthday!

♡ because she’s young, she could not decide on a name so, while quietly laughing between yourselves, you and nico suggested britney…

୨୧ and it was decided! britney the rabbit was the newest member of the rosberg family

♡ rosie loves her rabbit so much, always walking around the house with britney cuddled in her arms and nico loves seeing his little rabbit so happy with her own little rabbit

୨୧ something you’ve never gotten over is how both of your girls are carbon copies of nico, both look wise AND personality wise! it’s like you gave birth to his twins and you’re just so in love with your little family

♡ when ruby is old enough, her and rosie start using the tree swing that nico built for them in the back garden!

୨୧ nico just watches them through the kitchen window sitting on it together, gently swinging back and fourth, giggling between themselves whilst you wash dishes and he holds your hips from behind, placing gentle kisses on the nape of your neck and murmuring words of endearment towards you

♡ yeah, this is the life he always dreamed of…

#nico rosberg x reader #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 headcanons #fluff headcanons #headcanons

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fanfoolishness · 3 months

Text

Breaching the Wall

For the @summer-of-bad-batch Week 2 prompt "injured," with a serious side of comfort. After Crosshair's injuries on Tantiss, AZI treats his pain with heavy-duty medications -- and Crosshair starts talking. To everyone. Angst, hurt/comfort, whump, family feels. 5800 words, plus illustrations of Crosshair and Wrecker, and Crosshair and Omega.

---

The pain in his hand woke him.

Stabbing, searing, burning, throbbing — it was like nothing he’d ever felt before. He could feel his hand spasming, shuddering with each pulse of agony. He tried to clench his fist, hoping that would help, but something wasn’t working. He reached out with his left hand to try to rub the ache away —

His right hand was gone.

Crosshair shivered, memories flooding back in the dark. He rolled over, fumbling until he reached the side of the bed. Where was he?

He panted with effort, slowly sitting upright, staring at the walls. Moonlight was faint through the window, but it was enough for him to see his surroundings. A bedroom with decorations; an old fishing net on the wall, patterned vases, a few holoframes of a familiar family.

That was right. This was Shep and Lyana’s place; Shep had opened his home to them after their escape. Told Hunter they could stay for a few days until they were more recovered. Crosshair glanced back at the large bed, where an exhausted Hunter, Wrecker, and Omega had curled up beside each other.

For a moment, watching their chests rise and fall, rise and fall, the pain receded.

Then he moved slightly and the pain roared back, a blinding burst of it rippling outward from the stump of his wrist. He gasped, doubling over, shivering violently.

It was hard to think with everything raw and jangling. Get up. Don’t disturb them. You can rest out there… then try to find the droid… He should have seen him earlier, but the droid had been busy with many of the other clones and their injuries. Echo had given him some stims on the shuttle, enough to drive the pain back and keep him on his feet, and stubbornly, he’d told them it it was enough.In all the commotion, no one had questioned him.

But he felt everything now. He’d screwed up. Badly.

Another wave, roiling, blinding, incapacitating. He hissed through it. Kriff, it was getting hard to breathe.

For a moment, he tensed his legs, trying to steel himself to get to his feet and take the first step into the next room.

But he thought of resting his arm on Hunter’s shoulder, their breath syncing in the pouring rain. He thought of his eyes locking with Omega’s, the trust on her face, the shot of his life.

He thought of Omega’s arms, flung wide around him.

”Hunter,” he managed.

For a moment, there was no response, and he nearly despaired. Hunter had his own injuries, his own pain to deal with. Normally he probably would have already heard Crosshair and gotten up with him, but he must have been fast asleep, trying to recover himself.

Crosshair took a deep, shaky breath, and tried again. Please.

”Hunter,” he whispered.

”Crosshair?” Hunter murmured. Crosshair felt the weight on the bed shift. Hunter sat beside him, swinging his legs out over the edge of the bed. He looked exhausted, but his eyes were sharp and alert in his haggard face, clocking the situation. “Your hand.”

Crosshair nodded tightly, pressing his arm hard against his abdomen. “Can’t — sleep,” he bit out. He shivered again.

Hunter rested his arm on Crosshair’s shoulder, squeezing hard. “Stay here. I’ll get the droid.” He leaned back, reaching out and nudging Wrecker. “Hey. Hey, Wrecker.”

”What is it?” Wrecker groaned, wincing as he rolled to the side.

”Crosshair needs AZI for his hand. Stay up with him ‘til I get back.” He got carefully to his feet, hunching over, rubbing his back with one hand.

Wrecker nodded, stifling a yawn, and sat up stiffly. “Right.”

“No. I’ll go.” A glow-lamp turned on, filling the room with soft golden light, and they all drew back against the brightness, trying to let their eyes adjust.

Omega slid off the bed, hurrying over and taking Hunter by the hand, pushing him back to sit on the bed again. “You rest. All three of you.” She crossed her arms over her chest, glowering at them, though the worry in her eyes was clear.

Crosshair smiled weakly at her. The kid had steel in her, that much was certain. He couldn’t speak — he was breathing too hard — but Omega gazed back at him. He could see his own pain reflected in the sorrow on her face. Guilt rose up in him.

“I’m sorry, Crosshair,” she whispered.

He tried to shrug, but the movement was interrupted by another hug from her, this one gentle, measured, careful. She was trying not to nudge his arm. She rested her cheek against his and whispered, “We’ll help you. It’ll be okay.”

He raised his left arm, curling it around her. He closed his eyes, his breathing softening, growing a little easier.

Somehow, he believed her.

---

He wasn’t sure how much time passed before Omega arrived with the droid. Everything was blurred, between the radiating pain and the late hour. Hunter and Wrecker sat beside him, each with a hand on his shoulder, squeezing tightly any time he shuddered. The distraction helped.

“CT-9904.”

Crosshair lifted his head, squinting until things shifted back into focus. AZI-3 hovered in front of him, wide yellow eyes staring. Omega stood beside him, nibbling on her lip, watching anxiously.

The droid scanned him, the scanner lingering on his stump. Crosshair looked down at his wrist. The white bandage Hemlock’s people had placed on the wound was tinged reddish-brown. It made his stomach turn.

AZI finished his scan, then hovered forward, injecting something into his right shoulder without fanfare. He then lifted Crosshair’s wrist, the sound of mechanical whirring evident as the droid replaced the bandages at the end of his arm.

Whatever AZI was doing, Crosshair didn’t feel it. A cool wave flooded down his arm, numbing as it went until it reached the wrist, bringing with it a blessed relief. At the same time his head began to feel floaty and strange, a different kind of haze than the fog of pain. He wobbled slightly where he sat.

AZI finished redressing the wound. “Your wound will require further attention, though without access to a full medical bay, I am afraid my services will be somewhat limited. Your attackers provided basic battlefield wound closure and temporary pain relief, but a revision surgery will be necessary to remove bone fragments and prepare the amputation site for interface with a prosthetic, should you choose to use one. I will explore the area once the swelling has begun to abate.”

The droid’s words slid in one ear, out the other; Crosshair could barely make sense of them. He wavered, listing to one side. When he spoke his words slurred slightly. “Why can’t I -- Why am I --”

A hand, sturdy and familiar at his shoulder, bracing him upright. “Hey AZI, I think those pain meds you gave him kicked in,” Wrecker said. “He’s way out of it.”

AZI nodded, his confusing chatter fading. “With the mild anemia from the amputation, it is unsurprising that he would react more strongly to the sedating effects of pain relief than the typical clone. He may exhibit altered mentation with this dosage, but it is necessary with an injury this severe.”

“Ahhh, he’s always been a lightweight,” Wrecker chuckled, though the laugh turned into a groan. He rubbed at his chest, grimacing at his own wounds.

Crosshair managed a scowl at his brother, though it made him dizzy to turn and look at him. “Not true,” he muttered, though distantly he remembered a particularly brutal night at 79’s, years back.

“No, it’s true,” Hunter chimed in, smiling faintly despite the concern in his eyes.

The droid hovered forward, giving Crosshair another injection of something in the arm. “This will allow for rapid replacement of your blood, CT-9904. You should start to feel less lethargic within the next rotation. The pain medication I have given you is a long-acting infusion and should provide comfort for the next three days before redosing is necessary…”

The droid’s voice tuned in and out of his ears. He was drifting in a sea of half-formed memory, drifting somewhere dark, somewhere painful --

The boot on his wrist --

The blade swinging --

Flesh tearing, bone screaming, bone crunching --

Crosshair gasped, his head swimming. He looked up, lost again. He was here in Shep’s house, Hunter and Wrecker sitting beside him, exhausted, pale, worried. AZI hovered in front of Wrecker, examining him now. Omega stood beside the droid, her arms crossed over her chest, peering closely at him.

Crosshair caught Wrecker’s eye, and his brother gave him a small smile.

“Hey, you back with us, Cross?”

“Everything’s… I don’t know,” Crosshair said slowly, shaking his head. He raised his left arm, rubbing his face. He felt disconnected, as if he might float away. He had a vague sense that this was much better than how he had felt a few minutes ago, but he was having a hard time remembering why.

“Does it still hurt?” Omega asked.

“Does what still hurt?” Crosshair mumbled. His gaze wandered down, and he saw the bandage on his wrist, the missing hand. Ah. That. “No. Not anymore.” He closed his eyes.

He remembered now. He’d asked them for help, and they’d given it. He leaned to one side, and Hunter leaned in to close the space between them, letting him rest his head on his shoulder.

He breathed in; he breathed out; again, and again.

---

The sunlight felt a galaxy away, gold and white playing shadows against his closed eyes. Crosshair wandered somewhere beneath it, eyelids flickering open, bracing against the light. Everything was muted, far away with blurred edges. He was here on a bed. The walls were dawn-yellow. The ceiling rippled. He watched it move placidly, then reached up to scratch an itch on his face, straining his fingers to reach.

His stump bumped against his cheek, and his skin crawled.

They took it. They took it. It’s gone. Nothing -- nothing there --

“Crosshair?”

He turned his head with a great effort. Sitting at the edge of the bed was Hunter, looking out the window, watching whatever lay beyond. He looked better than he had last night -- his hair was combed, and he’d found clothes somewhere that looked like they belonged on Pabu, not armor castoffs.

“It’s morning,” Crosshair said, the words stretching out for what felt like hours. He rubbed his face with his left hand, keeping his right as far away as he could. “Why’s it -- everything’s off.”

“AZI’s got you on serious painkillers,” Hunter said. “Better for you than combat stims, but he said you’re gonna be loopy for a few days.”

“I doubt that,” Crosshair muttered, but the bed had turned into a pitching sea, rolling him back and forth. He groaned, fighting back a wave of nausea.

“Here. Let’s get you upright. See if that helps.”

Hunter carefully helped him up, putting some pillows behind him so he could lean back against the wall. The dizziness shrank back into the distance, but the world still felt like it was at a remove. Several of them. He rested his head against the wall, closing his eyes again, breathing hard.

“You need anything? Hungry? Thirsty? ‘Fresher?”

“No. Not yet.” Crosshair shook his head, then smiled, a grin lazily stealing across his face. “Toothpick.”

Hunter laughed slightly. “So you’re not totally out of it, then. Lemme check your belt.” He stiffly got to his feet, searching the pile of discarded armor in the corner of the room. “Ah. You’re running low, you know.”

“Not the only thing I’m running low on,” Crosshair said slyly. Everything seemed oddly funny. He reached out to take the toothpick Hunter held, fixing it between his lips. “I also seem to be down a hand.”

It was funny, wasn’t it?

Hunter winced, and Crosshair felt a twinge of guilt. Not funny, then. “I -- uh, yeah, I guess you could say that.” Hunter sat back down, folding his own hands in his lap, seeming to search for words. “So. How are you feeling?”

Crosshair stared up at the wavy ceiling, worrying the toothpick between his teeth and tongue. The wood felt both richly textured and yet wrapped in fuzzy wool. He rolled it between his molars, incisors, molars, incisors, until its end was sodden with saliva.

Oh. Hunter had asked him a question.

How was he feeling?

He closed his eyes. He saw a wall, familiar, vast, unbreakable. One he’d carefully built up foot by foot, a shield, a fortress. It kept things hidden. It had towered overhead after the Order went out, after Bracca, after Kamino. It had threatened to block out all light and leave him there alone in the dark. Yet it had protected him on Tantiss, there a lesser evil.

But there’d been breaches. Cody, questioning Desix. Mayday, his life in Crosshair’s hands.

Omega, never giving up on him.

He was floating up somewhere above the clouds, somewhere high above the wall. Up here, it didn’t really seem to matter. Up here, it seemed small and inconsequential.

He looked down at the bandaged stump at his side. He took a deep breath. Hunter’s question… he didn’t know the answer to that. But there was something pressing, a thought twisting and itching in his head, trying to get out through a breach in the wall.

“You were right, you know.”

Hunter cocked his head to one side, slight confusion on his face. “About what?”

“Plan 99. I wanted to call it,” Crosshair said quietly. “Planned to, after they took her.”

Hunter stared at him, his eyes narrowing. “You were planning it before we got to Tantiss?”

Crosshair shrugged, the movement sending him floating further amongst the morning sunlight. Hunter’s horror barely registered. Why shouldn’t he tell him? The instant Crosshair had seen the tracker fall into the waves, he’d known what needed to be done.

A trade, his life for hers.

“I thought it was the only way. What I deserved.” His breath caught in his throat, a pain the medication couldn’t touch. “But -- you stopped me. You and Wrecker.” Were there words for what he’d felt, that moment in the jungle? To see his brothers stepping up beside him at last, even after everything he’d done?

No. He’d never have the words for what that had meant to him.

“Crosshair.” Hunter laid his hand on his arm for a moment, and Crosshair looked at him, ignoring the way his eyes burned. “Whatever you’re carrying, you can lay it down. You saved her.” Hunter smiled fiercely. “She’s right outside with Wrecker, having breakfast. The first day of real freedom she’s maybe ever had. That’s because of you.”

The bridge. The rain.

His breath, in and out, focused and sure.

The shot.

Crosshair’s voice cracked, the words leaking out of him, pouring through the breach. “She… did you see? The look on her face, when she saw me, when she saw --”

It was burned into his mind. The beaming relief, fading to a horrified realization when she saw his missing hand; the tears streaming down her face, mingling with the rain; her face twisting into a sob as she ran to him.

To him.

“She loves you,” Hunter said softly. “You’ve got to know that by now.”

Why was his face wet? He let out a shaky breath, nodding, blinking away the water in his eyes.

“I know. I knew.” He bit down on the toothpick, his teeth stamping little ridges along its end. He remembered Omega asking him for one, the way she’d sat there on the Marauder nibbling it in perfect imitation of him.

His sister. Safe now. Because of him.

He didn’t have words for what that meant, either.

He shook his head, the room spinning around him, and sank back against the pillows. Hunter’s voice rolled over him.

“It’s all right, Cross. Get some rest.”

---

“You’ll get through it. But it’ll be hard, I won’t tell you otherwise. And… they won’t really understand.”

Crosshair raised his eyes, looking around the room. Echo sat in the chair beside the bed, his outline blurred in the streaming sunlight.

They’d been talking, hadn’t they? Time was looped and stretched and meaningless. When had he last seen Hunter? It felt like last year, but maybe it was an hour ago. Crosshair wasn’t sure. He tried to keep up with what Echo was saying, concentrating with a great effort. There it was. He found the thread again and followed it, clinging to it with both hands.

“You never complained,” Crosshair said at last. “Arm. Legs. How did you —“ He took a deep breath. “How did you do it? This part, right now?”

Echo smiled ruefully at him. “Sorry. I can’t say I remember it all that well. I still don’t know everything the Techno Union did to me, but from the Citadel to Skako Minor, there’s a lot of dead space. First time I really realized what was missing was when I saw Rex’s face.” He sighed. “It took a long time for the shock to wear off. To realize everything that had really happened. So to answer your question, I’m not sure. I just kept going, one day at a time.”

”’Just keep going,’” Crosshair repeated. He could do that. He’d been doing that every day since he was small.

“AZI will help you out,” said Echo. “Don’t be afraid to talk to him, even after everything’s technically healed up. I used to see him sometimes when we’d stop back at Kamino, during the war. He’d help with phantom pain. Exercise ideas.” A wistful, distant look crossed his face. “And sometimes he was just good to talk to. Like about Fives.”

“Fives. A reg.” Crosshair frowned, then shook his head. No. That didn’t matter anymore: they were all clones together, like Cody. Like Mayday. And he’d heard Fives’ name before, remembered through the fog what he was to Echo. “A brother.”

Echo tilted his head, a look of surprise crossing his face. “Yeah. Don’t know if you remember me talking about him, but we made ARC trooper together, back during the Kamino invasion. We were close. You’d have liked him. Tough as durasteel, and one of the finest troopers I’ve ever met. And just enough of a mouth on him that you’d have been fast friends if you didn’t kill each other first.”

Crosshair chuckled. “Sounds like a good man.” He sighed, his smile fading. “No word from Cody?”

Echo shook his head. “No. Rex’s contacts are always keeping an ear out for him, but no one’s had any word. If anyone could stay alive out there on his own, it’s Cody, but… it’s been a long time.”

”He tried with me,” Crosshair said softly. “Tried to help me see the Empire was wrong. But I… let him down. If you find him…”

“I’ll let you know, Crosshair. That’s a promise.”

He closed his eyes tightly, breathing hard. He reached up to pull his collar down and missed, his stump going wide. He groaned in irritation, using his left hand instead, and cracked his eyes open to glare at Echo.

“I keep forgetting,” Crosshair growled. “Stupid, I know. How could I forget --”

“Takes time to adjust,” Echo said. “It’s not stupid at all. You all never looked down on me for it.”

Faint memories, flickering up. Echo needing help donning and doffing his armor at first. Reaching for something with his scomp arm, remembering halfway through, switching to his left hand. Tech, helping repair his leg after a rough early mission. It hadn’t seemed strange back then. “You were defective, just like us,” Crosshair said slowly.

“Another bad batcher,” said Echo with a warm smile.

Crosshair grinned, shifting. His stump grazed against the bed, and he jerked backwards, expecting it to hurt. But the droid’s drugs were working. His stump felt like a dull, frozen log attached loosely to his shoulder; everything was numbed and confused. Better than the pain, but no less disorienting.

The smile on his face slid away, remembering his hand straining, struggling, shaking, desperate --

“You all right?” Echo asked.

“I remember,” Crosshair said haltingly. “A vibrosword.” He swallowed. The room seemed darker suddenly, sunlight vanishing, or was that his imagination? “‘You should be more careful with your shooting hand.’” He shuddered. “Tried to -- tried to stop him --”

Echo’s left hand, resting on his shoulder, a firm squeeze. “I’m sorry, brother.”

Crosshair reached up, fumbling, his own hand searching for Echo’s. He gripped it as hard as he could, chancing a look at the other clone’s face.

His chest ached at Echo’s smile. “Brother,” he whispered.

---

“What do you do?” Crosshair asked, unsteady on his feet. He leaned heavily against Wrecker as they walked back from the ‘fresher. His feet tried to slide out from under him. How could his head feeling so light make his feet work so badly? The two weren’t even connected. It didn’t make sense.

“What do I do when?” said Wrecker, helping him back down to the bed. Crosshair sat there, staring out the window for a long minute.

“What do you do when you’re afraid?” Crosshair mumbled. “Always… wondered.”

Wrecker sat down carefully beside him. “Huh. Yeah, you’re uh… you’re definitely feeling it.”

“So?” Crosshair scoffed. “Answer the, the question.”

“Well… I dunno. I guess just… keep trying? Why?”

”I don’t know,” Crosshair said. He’d already half-forgotten asking the question, though it had seemed important somehow.

There’s no room for fear on the battlefield. No room for cowards.

So why did he feel so afraid?

Wrecker leaned back, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “Well, I dunno. I mean, there’s afraid, and then there’s afraid. I guess maybe there’s some stuff I never could figure out.” He ducked his head. “Like heights. ‘Specially after… after Tech.”

Crosshair stiffened. He didn’t want to think about Tech.

Not when he should’ve been there.

Not when he could’ve been there, if he’d chosen right.

But even though the wall was floating far below him, his tongue froze in his mouth. He couldn’t speak. Not yet. Not about him. It was too hard, too much, even now.

He just leaned to the side, resting his head on Wrecker’s shoulder.

“Aw.” Wrecker laughed, a soft, pleased sound as he raised a hand to clap Crosshair on the back. “Like when we were cadets. Remember? You always used to sleep on me. ‘Til suddenly you were all about ‘personal space.’ Whatever that is!”

“Hrhm,” Crosshair muttered, adjusting his head to find a more comfortable spot. He did remember. Sometimes they used to fall asleep on the same bed after a long day of training; sometimes it was naps in a pile of all four of them. He didn’t remember why he’d stopped. One day, it had just felt like something he shouldn’t do anymore, not if he wanted to be a real soldier.

“Wrecker?”

“Yeah, Cross?”

”Shut up.” He leaned in harder to his brother, and Wrecker’s arm around him was something he’d lost, then found again. He closed his eyes, sinking against him.

“I know you don’t mean it, you big softy.”

”Shut up.”

He fell back asleep with Wrecker’s warm laughter in his ears.

---

”You’ve got to eat,” Omega said, sliding a tray of food across the table to him. “Hunter said you wouldn’t listen to him.”

”Hunter doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” Crosshair muttered. He rested his head on his hand, staring down at the tray of sliced fish and marinated seaweed and fresh fruit. He supposed it looked good. But he hadn’t felt hungry all day, too busy floating and rambling and sleeping and trying not to think about his hand.

Omega grinned. “You’re still so grouchy. AZI said sometimes that medication can make people giddy. Or just very sleepy. Maybe you’re just being extra Crosshair on it.”

”Nobody needs that,” he groused. He tried to pick up a wedge of fruit with his right hand and succeeded only in smearing fruit juice across his bandage. He pulled his arm away, growling as Omega reached for a napkin.

“Can I help, Crosshair?” she asked.

He looked at her face, kind and concerned, and begrudgingly pushed his arm toward her. She hesitated for only a second before carefully dabbing at the bandage with her napkin, laying one hand tenderly on his forearm. He wished he could fully feel her hand there, instead of a faint pressure that was all he could sense through the drugs.

“It isn’t fair,” Omega said quietly.

“That you’re stuck babysitting me?”

She stuck her tongue out at him. “Oh, please! Come on. No.” Her mouth twisted into a frown, her eyes suddenly too bright. “It isn’t fair about your hand, of course. You’d been getting better. You were working so hard. I could see it. And then they hurt you —“

She let go of his arm, folding her own arms on the table and resting her head on them, looking away from him. “Because you were trying to help me.”

Crosshair’s jaw clenched. “None of that,” he said sharply. “Not your fault. Don’t you ever think that.”

She raised her head, looking up at him with tears in her eyes. “But it’s true —“

For a moment, they stared at each other, both flushed and breathing hard.

His head was jumbled, aching with how his thoughts swirled around each other. He had to figure out how to put the words together, how to make her understand. He reached out clumsily and took her hand in his.

”Omega, if this is what it took, it was worth it.” He swallowed. “Understand?” He squeezed her hand, and hers was the one that trembled.

She nodded, trying not to cry. “Crosshair?”

”Yeah?”

”I’m so proud of you.”

He blinked, tears sliding silently down his cheeks, and nodded. He let go of her hand and pulled the tray back to him, and started eating, not bothering to wipe the water from his face.

---

Hunter again, silhouetted by moonlight this time instead of sunlight. Night again already? Crosshair sighed. He was getting sick of the way time slid away from him so quickly.

”How much longer?”

”Until what?”

”’til this wears off. Tired of it.”

”AZI stopped by again today, remember?” Hunter asked, crossing his arms. He leaned back in his chair, looking at him with mild concern.

”Vaguely.” He’d half-thought he was dreaming.

“He said this dose should wear off in another two days. Once you’re a little more recovered then he said he’s got to go in and work on it more so it heals properly. So you’re not done just yet,” said Hunter. “It’d be a faster process if we had a full medbay, but the Empire doesn’t exactly leave them lying around.”

Crosshair huffed. “Of course.” His mind drifted back to Echo. “Guess it’s one day at a time.”

“Good way to look at it,” said Hunter. He paused. “Glad Omega got you to eat something.”

”Can’t say no to her,” Crosshair said. He chuckled. Things were funny again. “Maybe that’s her enhancement.”

Hunter laughed. “That’s a pretty good theory. When she gives you those eyes, it’s hard to say no, even if it’s for her own good.”

”Uh-huh.”

Crosshair sat up, testing his balance. Still off. He wobbled to one side, then slowly sank back against the pillows, staring up at the ceiling. He thought of the kid, so damn earnest.

“She tried so hard to help me,” he said. “With my hand. Told me you put her up to it.”

“Some of it,” Hunter admitted. “But she came to me about it first. She’d been worried about you for a while. She knew you weren’t ready to talk to me or Wrecker about it.”

“No,” said Crosshair. He curled the fingers of his left hand up into his palm, relaxed them, curled them again. His right wrist felt like a strange ghost, numbed and muted, a thousand parsecs away. “The droid said it was all in my head. I guess it was.” His throat was tight again, and he looked away. “Just couldn’t… Tantiss…” The words choked in his mouth.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Hunter said. He let out a long, shivering breath, the sound of it echoing in Crosshair’s ears. “Hemlock told me what he tried to do to you. Tried to do it to me, too.” He hung his head. “I -- I didn’t know. What you’d gone through.”

“I wasn’t exactly telling,” Crosshair muttered. He looked back at Hunter, whose face was blurry, sliding away. For a moment he looked young again, a cadet with brown eyes blazing, face set with determination. Then things shifted, and he was a tired clone who’d been through hell, his eyes weary. Compassionate. It was almost more than Crosshair could bear. “Felt like I deserved it.” He held out his stump. “Like this.”

“No one deserves this,” said Hunter flatly. “Look. I’ve been talking to AZI. It might take a while to find a source for one, but we’ll get you a new hand. I promise.”

“But this one’s still gone,” Crosshair hissed, flaring with a sudden rage, incandescent, poisonous, raw. He thrust out his arm, shoving it in Hunter’s face. “I don’t care what you find. It won’t be the same.” He let out a sharp huff of breath, his heart pounding. “Maybe I’d ruined it, maybe I was never going to be that sniper again, but it was mine.”

Hunter held out his hands in a placating gesture, and the anger ebbed away, a foggy memory. Crosshair sank back against the pillows, shaking.

“Sorry,” said Hunter, and something like pity crossed his face. “You don’t have to have a prosthetic, if you don’t want.”

“I don’t know what I want,” Crosshair said roughly.

I should figure out how to get along without one.

I don’t need their help.

Maybe a prosthetic would just shake, too --

The thoughts ringed around his head dizzyingly, too difficult to get out even through the crumbling wall and his lowered defenses. He clung to them, confused and ashamed.

Hunter’s voice cut through the cloud of thoughts. “You don’t have to know, yet. You can take the time.”

The thoughts quieted down again, and he fell back into a remove again, faded and muted.

Hunter spoke again. “Sorry, Cross. I don’t know what it’s like.”

“No, you don’t.” He gave Hunter a twisted smile. “Hell, I don’t either.”

”You talked to Echo.”

”A little. It’s — hard, like this. Good man, Echo.” A wave of drowsiness rolled over him, heavy and oppressive. He stifled a yawn, trying to keep focused on Hunter. “I’m talking a lot, aren’t I. Must be whatever the droid did.”

“Must be.” Hunter reached out, offering a toothpick. Crosshair took it with his left hand, shimmied it into place. This one tasted of stale sawdust, and he frowned, the dryness of it puckering his mouth.

”Keep seeing it,” Crosshair said under his breath.

”What?”

“That moment. After the explosion.” He sighed. “Should’ve stopped him. Could’ve, if I’d had a knife. Stupid not to carry one. Why’d you let me talk the Kaminoans out of it?” He shuddered, rubbing his right wrist with his left hand, grimacing at how tender it felt even through the numbing of the pain meds. He rolled up his sleeve cautiously.

There was a dark purple-black bruise on his forearm. A swollen crescent shape. It took him a moment to realize it was from the rim of his gauntlet, crushed into his arm from the weight of the trooper.

He rolled the sleeve back down hurriedly and gnawed on his toothpick.

“Because if our sniper was having to engage in hand-to-hand combat, we’d failed as a squad,” Hunter said dryly. “It didn’t make sense to add the extra weight to your kit when you hadn’t had the hand-to-hand training Wrecker and I had. Remember? I backed you on that.”

Crosshair snorted. “What did we know back then?”

Just battle sims and life as Clone Force 99. What else was there?

He gazed out the window. The night sky was a wash of blues and blacks and grays, white-gold starlight twinkling across the immense sky.

“You know something that doesn’t make sense,” Crosshair ventured. It seemed important to tell him, though it was stupid, it was shameful.

“What?”

“I thought, at least it’s over.”

“I know. Tantiss is gone.”

“No, not that. This.” He held up his stump. “The tremor. It was getting worse.” He grimaced. “You saw. I’d let Omega down. Couldn’t handle meditating after they took her. But now it’s… gone. She’ll never have to know I couldn’t -- I couldn’t fix it --”

“Hey, hey. Crosshair.”

He spat out his toothpick into his palm and turned away, burying his face in the pillows, his back to Hunter.

”You think that matters to her?”

”I — I don’t know.” It matters to me.

For a moment, Hunter fell quiet. The only sounds were their breathing, soft and steady.

Like on the bridge —

Hunter’s voice was quiet but determined. “We all have our battle scars.”

And? This was news?

”I don’t think they’re always the kind that we can see,” Hunter said. He paused, as if trying to figure out what to say. ”There’s some injuries… you don’t fully recover from. That doesn’t make you weak. Look at Wrecker’s eye. Look at Echo.”

Crosshair was very still. With his eyes closed like this, Hunter’s voice enveloped him, the world shrinking down to his brother’s words.

”Maybe you’ll be different now. Maybe some things can’t… really be fixed. But I think you can get through it. You’ll still be Crosshair.”

”You sure about that?” he asked softly, so softly he wasn’t sure if Hunter had heard him.

”Crosshair, you’re the most stubborn bastard I’ve ever met.” Hunter’s voice was warm, affectionate. “If you decide to get better, you will. I know it. You just… you have to decide you deserve it.”

That was the hard part.

He hovered in the dark, the wall far below him, crumbling into a shadow of itself. It wasn’t gone. He’d probably add a few more bricks to shore it back up, once he got out of this fog. But it was a ruin now, broken down, far easier to get over and through than it ever had been before.

Maybe it was something he wouldn’t need for much longer.

“Hunter?” he asked sleepily.

“Yeah?”

“Think I’ll remember this, tomorrow?”

”I don’t know.” Hunter reached out, patting him on the back. “But if you don’t, I’ll tell you again. As often as you need to hear it.”

That sounded fair to him.

He drifted off into the haze, his arm dull and quiet, his mind blank and free of pain. He thought of his brothers beside him, Omega’s hand in his, and he slept deep and long and dreamless into the morning.

#the bad batch #the bad batch fanfiction #crosshair bad batch #echo bad batch #hunter bad batch #wrecker bad batch #omega bad batch #crosshair tbb #crosshair the bad batch #summer of bad batch #summer-of-bad-batch #injury #whump #my batcher fic

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the-faceless-bride · 4 months

Text

The woods, a witch, and a wolf pack. Punchline?

Summary: (paranormal Au and takes place 1874) Kyle was out later than normal. Away from his pack wasn't a good idea he knew he shouldn't have gone out late; but Johnny had set his heart on a pie tonight, and he wanted Johnny to get his wish. Staying out looking for berries revealed itself to be an awful idea as a group of hunters we in the woods. And he... wasn't fast enough. Good thing he found a house.

Warnings: Not many. blood, inaccurate monster lore, Gaz being adorable but untrusting, 141 members being worried and upset.

This is pretty short compared to what I would normally write, but I'm trying to get in the groove. I've been writing all of my fics on my phone, I'm trying to get back into the swing of writing.

Kyle cursed himself for being careless, not telling the others of his pack where he was going before sneaking off; he wanted to surprise Johnny, but had he known there were a group of hunters playing Van Helsing nearby he would've been more careful.

Now he was trying to limp away and hide with an arrow sticking from his side, it was much more painful than anything he'd felt before; and he had been roughed up bad before, but not like this. This was agony; a seething, burning pain. It traveled from his side through his ribs to his chest, from his stomach to his weakening knees.

Fuck. He didn't want to die here. In the woods, alone and in agony. That's when he smelled it. A welcoming smell, one that made him feel safe.

A house. A house that he'd never seen before, behind a hidden Rocky arch that was covered by a waterfall of vines and leaves. When did this get here? He always knew this hidden archway, but last he and his pack checked, it led to a dead end. Didn't it? Fuck. He can't remember, not when all he can hear is the pounding of his heart trying to escape his ribcage.

The door slightly ajar, he stumbled clumsily through the old wooden door; a cozy interior. A war fire, candles light all on the walls and interesting clocks, trinkets, and spices hung from the walls. The house was warm, very warm compared to the cold, sharp air outside; a soft velvet couch, a dark green covered in a flower pattern.

Kyle tossed himself down on it with a sigh and a groan. He wanted to pull the enflamed arrow from his side but didn't dare; not wanting to bleed out. 'Merow' Kyle jumped, a skinny black cat with the largest, brighest yellow eyes he'd ever seen sat on the arm of the sofa saring at him.

Kyle gave it an awkward wave, "hello," he said, just above a whisper. "Well, isn't this delightful. A pup bleeding all over my nice sofa." a voice jokes, Kyle whips his head to the voice with a growl, he didn't know who this was but he wasn't going to give them the idea he wouldn't harm them if they tried anything.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you," Kyle stops his growls but still sits stiff ready for anything, "now before we start, would you like a warm drink? Coffee, tea, whiskey?" - Kyle shakes his head, "I made pancakes earlier? Fancy one? Best you'll ever taste," - he again shakes his head. "Well then, let me take a look."

Kyle slowly and hesitantly leans to you, letting you see his wound. He was confused. Most people who knew who or what he was normally would shoo him away or try to kill him.

"Don't worry, this should be a quick and easy fix."- you move to a corner, wall filled top to bottom with shelves pulling a trinket box out before taking a small flower.

"hear, eat this." - Kyle look from the flower to you then back - "I know, strange. But it will help; Wolvesbain is a pretty flower. It's probably what led you to me. The sent is pretty irresistible to pups like you," - Kyle rolled his eyes at being called a pup, but you were right; that sweet smell that lead him to this house was coming from the pretty little flower clipping that you held between your thumb and forefinger.- "wolvesbain is a helpful little flower, it can be rather helpful to you, when not mixed with poison... In fact, looking to plant this flower was the whole reason for coming here,"

Kyle hesitantly ate the flower. It wasn't as earthy and awful as he expected, though it made his mouth water, not in the good way. More of the he shoved a handful of pepper mint down his throat way.

"I'm terribly sorry for the hunters," -Kyle raise a brow at you-

"The hunters are particularly my fault. You see, when I came looking for these flowers, my reputation of a witch followed me, and they trailed behind. Wolvesbane normally only grows near the paranormal creature themselves, much like Monotropa uniflora or black roses. I needed them for my garden. However, I tried to say clear of you and your pack. Usually, the lesser the flower, the further away the pack is. However, you seemed to be nearby," - This was true, Kyle and his pack were nearby. Not very close, but close enough that he was able to run here in his time of need, not wanting to bring the hunters to his lovers - "so either you and your pack just got here, are hidden or you're a long way from home,"

Kyle sat, thinking of what this meant. You'd unintentionally brought danger to him and the ones he loved. What does this mean? Were you going to stay in these woods? If you left, would the hunters go too? Where did this house come from? You say you just got here, yet you have a garden filled with magic plants and a house that wasn't exactly small. It wasn't a small cozy cottage like his packs. It wasn't a tent you'd just set up. It looked as if it had always been here.

"Well, it should be about that time," you say as you look as an old pocket watch from your dress pocket, " I'm happy you ate that flower, I'd hate for this to have been painful for you," - Kyle tilts his head, confused - "that arrow is a hunters arrow, it's been crafted specifically to hurt you. A normal needle and thread wouldn't be able to close that wound. And this type of threat can be... painful to the paranormal creatures of the night. But with that Wolvesbane, you won't feel a thing!" You say as you stick his side with a needle.

He felt nothing.

"There. You should be good now, I'm no doctor, but I'd say I did a rather good job." You smile as you begin to clean up, putting the needle and tread away before storing the arrow away with the rest of your gunter weapons you've collected over the years. "Thank you." You jump, the first words he's said since he's been here. "Well, thank you as well," - "for what?" - "not ripping me to shreds as I walked through the door," you tease.

"Where's the mutt?"

"I'm not sure,we lost track of him"

"He probably bled out somewhere,"

"Well find him, he'd make a nice furr rug! Haha!"

They were still looking for him. While due to the flower he ate, he may not feel the pain, but that doesn't mean his body isn't affected by it. He wouldn't be able to outrun them, not a chance.

"You can stay here. You won't be able to run if they see you. Tomorrow, I'll travel halfway with you, I'll throw off your trail. Then you'll be gone before those hunters realize your long gone." As you say this, the house seems to dim. The candles along the walls begin to dim their glow.

"Come now." You say, nodding your head up the stairs. He follows right behind you, Kyle can't thank you enough. Now, the only thing he'll have to worry about is the earful he'll get from John and some whining from Johnny. He's never been so happy to hear those than right now.

"I live alone and don't get much company, so if you don't mind, you can sleep with me. I'd prefer you have something soft to rest on, especially with that bad side."

"I have no problem," he smiles at you. You certainly are strange. You climb onto your bed after taking off your over dress and shape wear sighing as you get warm under the covers. Kyle shortly following after.

He can't sleep. He's worried sick. What if his boys came out looking for him and got hurt? He hated making them worry, and he's sure they were worried sick. He felt guilty. He's pulled from his thoughts as he felt a soft touch, "they'll be ok." A soft and low whine crawls from his chest, he knows. But that fact doesn't settle his mind.

When morning comes, Kyle finds himself wrapped around you, his face buried in your hair arms and legs tangled. You smell nice. "Good morning, Pup," -you say with a sigh as you struggle to get up sleepily putting on your dress,- "morning,"

"Fancy breakfast? Or should we hurry on our way? I'm sure your pack is worried sick," - "As much as I'd love some pancakes, I think I've caused enough trouble," - "next time then?" - Kylr smiled, "next time."

Leaving the house and back into the woods was nerve-wracking for Kyle, constantly peaking over his shoulder, worried he'd find a man with a crossbow pointed at him. But you didn't seem worried at all. You seemed to know exactly where you were going; like you'd lived in this wood your whole life.

Just as you approach the babbling brook, you stop; "This is where my path ends, Kyle." You smile up at him, "it's time for you to go." - "Well, would you maybe like to stay? It's almost time for lunch, won't you stay?"- You smile, bit before you can answer, You both hear voices that have Kyle's head whipping around to see them.

"I FOUND HIM!"

Kyle smiles excitedly, "JOHNNY!" Kyle breaks into a sprint, colliding into the smaller yet muscular Scott, a pair of footsets coming quickly behind. "What the hell were you thinking?!" - "it's good to see you too, John."

"Where have you been?"

"Why didn't you say you were leaving?"

"What happened to your side?! Your shirt is drenched in blood!"

John, Simon, and Johnny all firing questions one after the other, "it's alright, I got help." - "help? From who?" - "Well, she -" while Kyle turned around to point you out, you were gone. Where did you go? "Well, whoever she was, I'm glad she helped you." - "yeah, I'll have to introduce you..." he says, his voice trailing off as he wonders where you went, and what exactly was your name? He'd forgotten to ask... infact, you had said his name just now... when had he told you his name?...

#kyle x reader #kyle garrick x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #kyle gaz garrick #taskforce 141 #task force 141 #tf 141 #141 x reader #task force 141 x reader #cod 141 #poly 141 #cod x reader #cod x you #monster au #witch!reader

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haruchi-slit · 4 months

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hiii this is my first request ever so i dont know how this works HAHAHAHA

can i request a smutty sukuna fic or one shot whichever fits better about reader getting their nails done with sukunas tattoos and him getting all horny and shit ?

i saw this tik tok and i went feral about it

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMMT14S6g/

my gosh I'm in awe with how gorgeous those nails look awhw this is such good idea, i hope i don't disappoint you with this ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ chi-list

minors dni, 18+ readers only! | sukuna is not in his true form + unprotected sex + cock bulge + doggy style + missionary + modern au uncle kuna and aunt reader! + not proof read

you woke up extra early to meet with your nailtech, nobara. you've been her client since she was not famous because your niece, yuuji introduced her to you, a few years ago. the reason you were at her studio at the first place because you were planning on surprising your boyfriend, sukuna with your nails matching his tattoos knowing how much he loved his tattoos and how they seemed to hold a special power over him- upon arriving on nobara's studio she greets you with a smile,

"hey, wifeyy what are we up to?" nobara giggles welcoming you in before she sat on her nail station, with her face resting on her hands.

"sooo i was thinking of surprising sukuna" you'd snicker as nobara nods profusely, "uh-huh" she murmurs, "and i was thinking of y'know getting my nails done like his tattoos" you giggled as a light shade of pink spreads across your cheeks, "ohh i see you girl, so what color are you gonna get?" nobara asked sheepishly, "so i want this specific color of pink" you chimed, picking up a nail polish displayed on nobara's table "and also I'd like to add some designs?" you added ulocking your phone and showing nobara sukuna's tattoos, "oh gosh i love your idea, shit we should start now"

.... after gossiping and giggling with nobara as she does your nail you were finally good to go,

you stretched out your fingers, admiring the intricate designs delicately painted on your nails. they were reminiscent of sukuna's tattoos, with swirling patterns, bold in black.

"shiiit i love you nobs they're so beautiful" you gagged in awe as you stared at your nails,

"well it is made by me, of course it'll be gorgeous!" nobara bantered, "i'm gonna give you a huge tip nobs, shit it's so beautiful" you swore you almost cried with how beautiful they look, after paying nobara you bid your goodbyes and you drove home eager to show them to your beloved boyfriend, once you reached your shared apartment your heart was beating so fast, as you open the door, you hobbled down to the living room seeing sukuna sitting on the couch scrolling on his phone, he was quick to notice you presence as you entered the room, sukuna watched you as you pattered from across the room, "where have you been, woman?" he asks placing his phone on the coffee table, you giggled " well i went out, i got my nails donee, i left you a text didn't i and i also told you yesterday!" you uttered,

"i suppose you did, i forgot and, i haven't checked my messages my bad" he rolls his eyes, "you're getting old as fuck" you jested, "what's me being old have to do with that, and why's your hands behind you back? are going to shoot me or something?" he jokes back laughing, "fuck no? as if i could the fuckkk, anyways look at themm!" you chuckled as you showcased your newly painted nails to him, spreading them out on the air, "aren't they beautiful?"

"They look good." he murmurs, "we're matching now, yeyyy!" you yelped, "do you know what's the catch?" you add making sukuna knit his brows in confusion, "so y'know i hand picked the color of my nails to match your tip" you giggled, "m-my tip? what do you mean?" sukuna stuttered, "don't play with me, sukuna..." you coed into his ear, your hot breath sending shivers down to his spine,

"I love them," he replied before standing up from the couch with his breath hitching- he quickly latched on to your lips giving you a passionate kiss, you can feel your stomach being filled with butterflies while your heart beats uncontrollably like it was going to explode. sukuna deepened the kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth as his hands wandered down to your hips. He couldn't help but feel turned on by the way your nails looked like his tattoos. It reminded him of his power, his dominance.

Before you knew it, you were pinned against the wall, sukuna's hands ripping off your clothes. sukuna's fingers traced over your newly painted nails, sending sparks of pleasure through you, you groaned as he nibbled on your neck, his teeth grazing over your skin leaving red hickeys on your neck, like decorations. he could feel your pulse racing under his lips, making him even more aroused, with a swift movement, sukuna had bent you over a nearby table, your nails scratching against the surface. sukuna couldn't wait any longer, his desire for your sweet cunt was consuming him. before even registrating in to you he thrust into you hard, causing you to gasp for air and arch your back.

you couldn't help but moan loudly, the sensation of sukuna's tattooed arms rubbing against your skin driving you wild. you could feel him ram his hard dick in your sopped cunt, "s'kuna ngh-" you pant, gripping on the table hard, leaving deep scratches on it,

hi"y'know i- wasn't -fuck! expecting you to get my tattoos printed on your nails" he grunts in your ear nibbling on it slightly while he thrusts in you hard that you could feel his cock bulging on your abdomen, hitting every weak spot of yours, "you got me so worked up girl.."

he'd keen, placing a hand on your back as he watched your cunt suck him in with every thurst he makes.

he flipped you around before he thrusted mercilessly in your pussy, making you mewl in pleasure, getting closer and closer to the edge, your body was trembling with pleasure.

sukuna's pace quickened, his hands gripping your plush thighs tightly with his callused palms as he pounded into you, your bare your painted nails on his back making crescent wounds, scratching his bare back as he could feel your walls clenching around him, signaling your release. with one final thrust, the both of you reached your climaxes, crying out each other's names.

you both catch your breath, as sukuna pulled you close, his lips brushing against your ear. "you look so cute when you're a pretty mess," he whispered, sending chills down your spine.

you smiled, your fingers running through his hair. "so did you liked my surprise?" you asked, your voice breathless.

sukuna chuckled and leaned in for a kiss, grateful " i f'king love them" he mumurs before kissing you once more.

a/n: sorry it took so long huhu i was distracted in playing roblox and other video games but, i hope you guys liked it! -REQUESTS OPEN-

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sanrielle · 1 year

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Amazing fanart by Joanacchi! Posted here on tumblr with their blessing. Each one is based on a style that reflects a particular ancient culture's art history. (See below for descriptions provided by the artist!)

Store (buy these prints!) Twitter Instagram

Aang: Tibetan Thangka

"Thangkas are traditional Tibetan tapestries that have been used for religious and educational purposes since ancient times! The techniques applied can vary greatly, but they usually use silk or cotton fabrics to paint or embroider on. What you can depict in a Thangka is really versatile, and I wanted to represent things that make up Aang as a character."

Zuko and Azula: Japanese Ukiyo-e

"Ukiyo-e is a style that has been around Japan between the 17th and 19th century, and focused mainly in representing daily life, theater(kabuki), natural landscapes, and sometimes historical characters or legends!

Ukiyo-e was developed to be more of a fast and commercial type of art, so many drawings we see are actually woodblock prints, so the artist could do many copies of the same art!

I based my Zuko and Azula pieces on the work of Utagawa Kuniyoshi (1798-1861) one of the last ukiyo-e masters in Japan! He has a specific piece which featured a fire demon fighting a lord that fought back with lighting, and that really matched Zuko and Azula's main techniques!”

Toph: Chinese Portraiture from Ming and Qing Dynasties

"Ming Dynasty (1368-1644) was one of the longest in China! It was also a period where lots of artistic evolutions were happening, especially when it comes to use of colour! There was not a predilection for portraits during this time, but there are a lot of pieces depicting idealized women and goddesses from the standards of the time. For this portrait of Toph, I imagined something that maybe their parents commissioned, depicting a soft and delicate Toph which we know is not what she is about ♥️

Qing Dynasty (1644-1912) was the last Chinese Dynasty to reign before the Revolution. One of the most famous emperors of this period was Qianlong, and he really liked Western art! He commissioned a lot of portraits of his subordinates, and I chose a portrait of one of his bodyguards as a reference for the second Toph portrait, which I believe is much more like how she would want to be represented! The poem on top talks about the bodyguards' achievements during a specific war. I had no time to come up with a poem for Toph, so I just used the same one for the composition!”

Sokka and Katara: Inuit Lithograph

"For a long time, Inuit art expressed itself in utilitarian ways. The Nomadic lifestyle of early Inuit tribes played a huge part in that: most art pieces are carved in useful tools, clothing, or children's toys, small and easy to be transported, and depicted scenes and patterns representing their daily lives!

That changed a lot during the colonization. Since the settling of the Inuit tribes, many art pieces began to be created in order to be exported to foreigns, so they started to sculpt bigger and more decorative pieces.

Lithography, which is a type of printmaking, was introduced to Inuit people by James Houston, that learned the technique from the japanese. The art form was quickly embraced by the inuit, as part of the process is very similar to carving. Prints that are produced by inuit artists are still being sold today!

As lithography is not an old art style and it's still commercially relevant to the Inuit communities, since creating these in 2021 I have been donating regularly to the Inuit Art Foundation, not only all the money I get from selling some prints of these but a bit more, at least once a year. Hopefully, I can increase donations this year!”

#avatar the last airbender #atla #atla fanart #fanart #asian history #inuit history

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icedroppedinparasolcider · 5 months

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Momoi Airi is a Trans Woman

This is headcanon at the end of the day and there's nothing wrong with disagreeing, but the way she's written regarding her sense of identity as an idol, the choice of phrasing they use when she talks about herself in reference to others (namely Shizuku), and the connections her visual motifs provide to concepts and other characters tied to or commonly seen as trans just makes it incredibly hard for me to view her otherwise.

A lot of what I have to say is very personal to me; I'm a trans woman myself, and Airi's writing and experiences connect with me and my own transition journey in a way I haven't really seen anywhere else in media (I'm not a very prolific media consumer). So it's entirely possible a lot of this is just me projecting onto a character I care a lot about. But while I've adored Airi before this revelation, I didn't reach the level of attachment I have for her until the realisation of just how well she's written through the lens of a trans girl. Specifically one who's, for the most part, entirely socially transitioned but keeping the fact she is trans secret.

When Airi was little, she was, as she herself describes, very boyish. She'd get into physical fights with boys around the neighbourhood or at school, she'd come home most days covered in dirt and mud from playing with her majority boy friend group of the time. She was intensely defensive of her little sister, most of her fights being with possibly bigger-than-her boys because they were mean to her sister. It formed a reputation for Airi, a reputation that followed her as she began to deviate from these patterns and pivot her interests and activities hard and fast thanks to starting to watch idols on TV. She was enamoured with them, would rewatch recordings of their performances and interviews over and over so she could emulate it and be more like them. She'd stop getting into fights, stop playing with her rougher friends; everything started changing dramatically thanks to her being introduced to a new "type" of woman: an idol. Something Airi wanted to become, and was willing to change everything about her to be.

These changes weren't socially easy for her, though, with backlash coming from these old friends and classmates because of how girly she was trying to become. The idea of being a tomboy was something Airi started to consider a bad thing, a gross thing. During her Colourful Festival side-story, To You Who Yearns To Be an Idol, amidst a conversation with her younger self Airi calls the little girl a tomboy, something that makes the younger Airi immediately deflate and shy away from the conversation. It upset her to be called that, especially by an idol, something she wants to become. Which leads to the younger Airi talking about how she's been treated by her peers for changing the way she dresses and not playing the same way she used to, for changing the way she talks, with her being talked to like she's doing something horrible and wrong for simply chasing a dream of who she wants to be. And in this conversation, Airi says a particular line that changed everything for me:

This is said in response to Little Airi's repeating of what the boys in her class call her as she wears cuter, girly clothes. That she's some big, mean monster who shouldn't wear things like that, who could never become an idol. Effectively telling her that she could never be a girl because of the way she used to behave. She started as someone rough, someone harsh and dirty, that's not something she should—not something she could—change. Something we see in present day that she's largely internalised through her struggles with what it means to be an idol, her struggles with calling herself an idol.

For Airi, being an Idol and being a Girl have become synonymous with each other. Her ability to be an idol, to draw that attention, have a smile that sparkles on stage and in front of the camera, spread hope and joy to other people; this part of her identity has grown beyond her job, it's who she is as an individual. Being Momoi Airi, the second year Miyajo student, is inseparable from Momoi Airi, the ex-QT member and now member of MORE MORE JUMP! And if she can't be the image of an idol that exists in her head, that she's always viewed idols to be, that Haruka and Shizuku manage to embody, that Minori is becoming, then can Airi even really call herself as much of a person, of a woman, as them?

Airi's been in this constant uphill battle where she believes she doesn't sparkle as much as the other idols around her, so she puts more effort into learning how to make herself sparkle, but manages to convince herself that because she struggles with this, she's less of an idol than those very peers. It's in large part what Ice Drop is about, Airi's difficulty finding satisfaction with her work as an idol because it doesn't shape up to her own expectations and beliefs of what an idol "should be", because it doesn't match what she sees other idols she looks up to, like Shizuku, doing. Something also portrayed during Airi's conversation with Shizuku in Chasing the Radiance Beyond the Blue Sky, where she outright tells Shizuku that because she doesn't have the same physical appeal she has to fight harder and use different strategies to get any attention as an idol. And if Shizuku is the "perfect idol", and Airi will never be able to achieve that, can she even call herself an idol?

If she can't call herself an idol, does she even deserve to call herself a girl? Or are the harsh words of her grade school classmates right about whether she should be wearing the cutesy clothes?

A large part of Airi's struggle with this, why it's even a spiral in the first place, ties into her nature as a Solid Heart student as well as why I see so much of myself and my transfemme journey in Airi's story. It doesn't matter how many people tell you that you're enough and that you've done what you set out to do, not if every thought in your head is telling you they're wrong. According to everyone I know, I pass really well as a girl. My voice is naturally feminine, even without masking it very hard, I've basically never been misgendered since growing my hair out by strangers looking at me, I've even been told by close friends that they'll forget I'm trans because I'm just "one of the girls" to so many of them. And I appreciate all of it, so much; I'm very lucky to have had such a smooth social transition. But none of that changes who I see in the mirror, who I hear when I talk, what I feel when I wake up in the morning forced to acknowledge my body. I'll never be a "real girl", not until I fix these things, and it's entirely possible that it's impossible to truly get rid of this feeling.

That's what Airi feels regarding her identity as an idol. Everyone in the world could tell her how good an idol she is, how much hope she spread as Happy Everyday, how beautiful and bright her smile is. But that will never replace or fully mask the doubt in the back of her head about whether she's really an idol, because nothing that she used to do aligns with what she's always seen idols to be, so much of what she does today is so different from the reality of her dreams. She's not that idol, so is she even an idol at all? I'm not that girl, so am I even a girl at all? Obviously I am, and obviously she is, but it's a feeling of doubt that never goes away.

Airi needs to constantly be an idol, or she's not an idol at all. And, at least to me, this has come to mean to Airi that if she's not an idol, she's not a girl. Because all of the work she put into being cute and girly was to be an idol. If she can't accomplish that, does she even deserve to be a girl at all? Or is she just a fraud wearing a mask trying to make people laugh on TV?

#pjsk #project sekai #airi momoi #character analysis #transgender #i have so much more to say #but it's getting late and this feels like a good stopping point #i'll probably add more when she invades my brain again #momoi airi......

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