#by catering i mean commissions :)

[teabutmakeitazure]

Why. Can't. People. Understand. That. Stockholm. Syndrome. Is. In. The. Tags. For. A. Reason.

[yyokkki]

Asking to Sketch Them

HEARTSLABYUL

Riddle Rosehearts

Honestly a bit shocked you’d ask him

But he’s had practice from posing for family portraits, so he isn’t too nervous

Until you say you want the backdrop to be Heartslabyul’s garden

It doesn’t break any rules… but that doesn’t mean someone else won’t break any rules

He doesn’t collar people as often as he used to, but he still makes it a point to lecture rulebreakers on the importance of said rule

So imagine the strain on his face when Ace walks by with a vase full of roses and it’s Wednesday.

In the end Ace sits beside you while Riddle gives a long lecture, keeping the rest of his body perfectly still so it doesn’t interfere with your work

You are sweating in fear. 6/10 a good model but it’s hard to draw when your model is half yelling at the dude sitting right next to you

Trey Clover

Might hesitate to say yes because he’s a busy guy,,

I mean they have tea parties like everyday and he’s always in charge of sweets-

You say he can go about his business and that you’re going to capture him in his natural habitat then he agrees

Raises an eyebrow cuz you make it sound like you’re on national geographic but ok

Anyways you’re drawing him while he’s baking and damnnn those biceps pop when he’s whisking

Secretly, however, he’s been holding back for a while now/

When you’re least expecting it he comes closer to you… and bam whipped cream on the side of your face

Devolves into flour tossing and chaos

6/10 you got whipped cream on your sketchbook and it was half finished but it was a fun memory

Cater Diamond

“OMS YAY of course ;DD”

Internally screaming because his makeup isn’t that good today and why him I mean there are better looking people in nrc and maybe he can get his clone to do it instead-

Overthinker fr

He’s a bit stiff at first, trying to only show his good side and checking his camera constantly to see if his smile looks good

If you’re close and you start talking to him about something he’s passionate about while you’re sketching he’ll loosen up a bit and his pose becomes a lot more natural

Eventually forgets you’re even drawing him and now it’s just him showing his true colours

Takes a pic of your finished sketch along with the both of you and posts it on magicam #muse #artistbestie

8/10 the sketch turned out well and you had a nice chat 

Deuce Spade

Has never been asked this question in his life

Boy is so stiff and awkward pls baby

He smiles like Oga from Beelzebub at first

Pls pls pls get this boy to do something else while you’re drawing him to get him to relax

Might be studying across the table from you while having a nice chat

Forgets you’re drawing him eventually pt.2

Tbh moves around a lot especially if a senior enters the room cuz he makes it a point to turn around and greet them while standing up

Is a bit surprised when you say you’re done because shit I forgot and I moved so much im sorry-

Also takes a picture of the sketch

Texts his mom the pic “I made a really good friend who’s great at drawing :D”

Will ask if you can draw a portrait of him and his mom together when you get the chance (will pay for it he just doesn’t know about the concept of commissions TT)

4/10 he’s so precious but not the best model tbh id still ask him again idc

Ace Trappola

Little shit (affectionate)

Not hard to make him agree but boy will he give you shit for it “my face is just that handsome ig” “you want me to get nude?” someone kiss him and make him shut up

At first he’s making a bunch of dumb faces and exaggerated poses and once he determines that you’re sufficiently annoyed he starts actually posing normally

Might get up halfway through and start stretching or laying down cuz he got tired though

Depending on how late he slept the night before and if you’re keeping quiet so he doesn’t get the chance to tease you, he might fall asleep

His sleeping face is cute so it works out for you ehe

When you’re done he acts all non chalant and smug about it but inside he’s sooo happy damn tsundere

Asks if he can draw you next and draws a potato with three dots on it <3

2/10 its only easy when he falls asleep but he’s cute so ill give him 1 extra point

-----

Heartslabyul | Savanaclaw | Octavinelle | Scarabia | Pomefiore | Ignihyde | Diasomnia

Graphic design is not my passion dear lord i really need to read a guide on how to format tumblr posts TT

Also first time writing omg depending on my mood next part will either be out tomorrow or next month see yall

[yuri-is-online]

i’ve got this picture of Yutu being kind of artsy from your description. besides, being an outcast probably means a lot of solo hobbies from no friends. maybe a bonding method for Yutus with a father that is more artistic 👉👈

You have such a good point about being an outcast driving people towards solo hobbies σ(￣、￣=) certain Yutus are more outgoing than others but that does only get you so far.  Of the ones I have written about, Floyd! and Cater! Yutu both had friend circles before coming to Twisted Wonderland, while Ace!, Azul!, and Riddle! Yutu were certifiably friendless.  Bonding between Yutu and a more artistic dad hmmmmm let's see...

notes: they/them used for Yuu, this is part of my fyuuture kid au, you can find an explanation of it here and here, or look at my masterlist for all of the posts.

Vil! Yutu

... really likes to paint and draw, when I first wrote about him his unique magic involved temporarily bringing his paintings to life.  My brother used to dig through old fashion mags when he was teaching himself to draw and I can see Yutu doing the same.  So when he finally gets to see a not tortured version of his father and finds out he is a model on top of being an actor?  He's so eager to learn about all of it, and Vil has got to be thrilled to share.  You know between him and his own dad Vil has got to have a nice collection of vintage designer items he's willing to let Yutu have a look at.  Yutu has drawn his dad a lot, receiving a drawing someone has made for you is already beyond flattering, but when it's from a family member?  Forget the fridge, Vil is getting this framed.  I can also see him maybe commissioning Yutu because he wants to make sure he never under sells his work.  He is a member of the Schoenheit family, he is allowed, nay required to have a great deal of pride in himself.

Cater! Yutu

... likes playing guitar and he loves playing with his dad.  He's not really interested in playing with the other pop music club members, Yutu is a bit shy around his dad's friends.  When he's stressed he likes to play a few songs and sing, something I could see working for Cater too.  While I'm talking about Cater, I don't think he'd make a bunch of magicam posts about his family, just in general.  He uses magicam as a way of maintaining his false happy facade, his want to date Vil comes at least partially from his presence on magicam, some of his real self is on display there sure but a lot of it is exaggerated and fake.  When he has something real he wants to keep it away from the rest of the world, so while his followers absolutely are told he's #taken #blessed they don't know about the details of his relationship.  At least not if it's a healthy one.

Jade! Yutu

... is someone I haven't written about before but he is also very into music, just not jazz music.  Not that he hates jazz, he's just stuck in that teenage phase of refusing to admit the things his dad likes are cool, something Jade reasonably “sniffles” about but that's not to say music isn't a bonding point for them.  He also plays bass, just an electric not an upright one, and Jade enjoys listening to Yutu play.  He's very supportive and surprisingly soft in his praise for someone who just got done listening to his kid scream out a punk rock song.  As long as Yutu is willing to do some hiking with him (which he is) then he has no real problem with what his kid likes, if anything I can see Jade enjoying their differences.  Life is boring if everyone is the same.

Rook! Yutu

I've been thinking about Rook, just as a character recently and one of those things that's been stuck in my mind is that he was very shy as a child.  To keep this from becoming just general information about Rook! Yutu, unlike his father Yutu never got over his shyness, so a lot of their bonding revolves around Rook encouraging Yutu to see the beauty in himself.  He books tickets to shows, symphonies, and ballets in advance so he can make sure Yutu knows when they are going out and can prepare himself to be seen in public.  They plan their outfits together in advance, look up information about the company and what they are going to see so they can appreciate the art just that much more.  On the day of Rook makes sure to kiss Yuu goodbye,  and promises to come home safe.  But not to worry, he always has Yutu help him pick out a bouquet of flowers to bring back for you.  (Unless you're allergic to pollen in which case he'll bring home something else.)

[bogunicorn]

once again annoyed at how fanfic is treated like "content" or a product provided to a community rather than a thing people make in their free time. if at any point your solution to your fandom woes is "strangers who don't even know i exist should write pairings or subject matter that i want to read instead of a popular pairing i don't like that they clearly do like", then you need to find a different problem to have. these strangers making stuff for fun owe you, random stranger, fuck-nothing, even if the thing they like is Popular M/F Ship #459 and the thing you like is a same-sex ship with an unfairly maligned female character.

it does suck when the majority doesn't share your preferences, especially when it feels like you end up sifting through many entries of things you don't like or outright hate to see if there's stuff you like. but that doesn't mean that people writing the thing you dislike are being mean to you, or making your life harder, or actively doing anything wrong. it's just an annoying thing you have to live through. you being uncomfortable, inconvenienced, annoyed, or put upon doesn't necessarily mean another person has done anything to you, especially not harm.

and to the "writing is hard! don't suggest 'write it yourself' as a solution because writing is hard and a skill and suggesting i should write things myself is ableist!" crowd, i say: get fucking for real. no writer is obligated to cater to you because you're a bad writer yourself. you sound like those people on r/choosingbeggars who try to bully illustrators into free commissions because they can't draw very well themselves. grow the fuck up.

[pensat-i-fet]

Too good for you (Rúben Dias x Reader)

**Welcome to an imagine that wasn’t requested but that was inspired by one of my dreams (but then I really only kept a tiny detail from the dream). This is a bit spicy, a bit angsty, also slightly toxic and everyone (but Kepa, who has a little cameo because the one in my dream was Juan Mata and how random is that?) is an asshole. But I think it’s fun! It was one of those where I let the story go where it wanted to go. I didn’t choose any of this. The story chose its own path and that’s cute. Enjoy! ❤️**

Word count: 4030

Masterlist

Wattpad

Another day, another photoshoot. But this one was pretty special. You had worked for Armani before, walking their show and doing some catalogue work for them. But this time it was a campaign they wanted you to be a part of and that was huge for your career. And the paycheck was going to be pretty decent too.

Also, you were shooting with a football player so you knew that your work was going to get a lot more exposure because of his presence. And it was a player you actually knew, which could make the shoot pretty interesting. Whether it’d be in a good or a bad way was to be determined.

"Come here for a sec so we can double-check it all fits nicely".

"Sure", you said, following the stylist. "Is the player here already?"

She looked at you with a knowing look. "No, he's a bit late. Traffic is pretty bad".

"Cool. We'll wait then".

Fittings were done quickly and so you moved to hair and makeup. The look was pretty natural so that was done quickly but with it being an underwear shoot, the makeup artists had to make sure to apply makeup all over your body. And it was while they did it that Rúben showed up.

"Hello everyone, sorry I'm late".

His voice made you look up from your phone. Rúben looked you up and down and for a second you felt a bit self-conscious standing in front of him, and a crew of 20 people, in just a thong and a bra. As if he hadn't seen you in less.

While he was getting ready for the shoot, you put on a robe and sat down next to him.

"I thought you wouldn't make it".

"Bad traffic. I wish I had gotten here early. I might have volunteered to do your body makeup".

"Of course you would have".

"Do you want to do mine?", he whispered.

"I want to be home before midnight so hurry up".

"By home, you mean your place or mine?"

Rolling your eyes, you got up to check if there was something nice you could eat. Catering at these shoots was usually pretty good if you got to the table before all the good food was taken and only the dry carrot sticks were left.

"You didn't tell me you knew him", said your agent.

"I don't know him. I know what's in his jeans. It's different".

"Is it going to be an issue?"

"Why should it be?"

"I don't want you to mess up this big opportunity. Who knows how your career could develop after this".

Yeah, and you want the commission that comes from big-money jobs like this one.

"I won't mess up".

"How did you even meet him? I thought your friend played for Chelsea".

"At a party. It doesn't matter".

Yes, your friend played for Chelsea. But he had nothing to do with you meeting Rúben. As you said, that happened at a party. You didn't even recognise him at first. You just noticed a hot guy approaching your friend group and decided to start dancing with him before Gina, who had been staring at him all night, could do it first. Your friend group also consisted of people you didn't like that much. It was a fashion industry thing.

"Do I look good?"

Rúben was now next to you, wearing the underwear picked for the first few photos you needed to take. And yeah, he looked alright.

"As if you need me to tell you how good you look. You already tell yourself every morning when you look in the mirror".

"Is being confident a sin?"

"No", you said, getting closer to him. "Being arrogant is".

"Then we're both sinners".

"Sinning can be fun".

"It's fun when I do it with you".

That last sentence was whispered in your ear and you had to try hard not to blush. So you left him to go get changed into your first outfit.

"Wow! You don't need me to tell you how good you look either but I will".

You turned your hips slightly, letting him see how good you really looked while you pretended to adjust your panties with one of your hands, making sure Rúben's eyes followed your movements. "I mean, anything is an improvement from the skin colour thong I had to wear for fittings and hair and make-up. Least sexy piece of underwear you'll ever see. This", you said, pointing at your current outfit, "is a lot better, right?"

The way Rúben stared at you gave you all the answers you needed. "Believe me, seeing you in your underwear is always a pleasure. No matter the colour or design. But this…", he was now touching the little piece of lace that adorned the sides of the panties you were wearing. "Can you keep the clothes you wear at shoots?"

"Not usually but I think with underwear is different so maybe I get lucky".

"I'm feeling very lucky at the moment", he muttered, still staring at the fabric he had touched.

The photographer interrupted the moment, asking you to actually do your job. How inconvenient. And so you and Rúben moved to the shooting area and listened to the ideas the photographer had for the shoot.

You had actually been excited to shoot with Rúben. First, because you thought his look complimented yours really well. Sometimes you were paired with male models that looked so odd next to you but you and Rúben looked great together. Then there was the fact that you already knew him, which meant you were a bit more comfortable doing a more intimate shoot like this one. And of course, you wanted to see him. He mentioned you texting him if you visited Manchester but you had been travelling a lot and didn't get to see him in person ever since that party in Lisbon.

You also expected your chemistry to be good. At the party, you two connected immediately and felt incredibly comfortable in each other's company the whole night. So this should have been the same. But Rúben seemed to be struggling a bit.

"What's wrong?", you asked him during a small break.

"Well, it's a bit challenging to be this close to you while you wear almost nothing, you know?"

"Control the hormones, Dias. You're acting like a horny 15-year-old. Though I guess men never get over that stage. At least not mentally".

The pieces from the collection were stunning but a few were very impractical. Putting them on felt like you were doing a puzzle. And you could only imagine how difficult it would be to take them off, especially in specific situations where you'd be in a hurry to get rid of the underwear. But they did look good.

"Can somebody help me?", you called and heard the curtain move just seconds later.

You didn't even turn, used to random people helping in those situations. "I can help with that".

"Rúben, you shouldn't…".

"Shh".

You could feel his finger untangling the straps and doing the clasps. But before you could turn to face him, he bent down to kiss the side of your neck. When his hands went to your hips, you forgot for a second where you were and just leaned back into his touch. But a noise made by the crew startled you and you separated from Rúben quickly.

"We're working. We can't…".

But he wasn't listening anymore. He just grabbed your face so he could kiss you and you barely allowed him to touch your lips.

"My makeup. How am I going to explain it being smudged?"

"Are you wearing any?"

"Are you serious? Of course I am".

He leaned forward, impossibly close to you, and stared at your eyes. It was hard to keep eye contact but you managed. He then moved to your lips and smiled. "Yeah, I guess I can see a bit of product there. But it can be reapplied, right?"

"Stop it", you said, pushing him away from you and leaving the changing area.

Yeah, you could understand now what he meant by the shoot being challenging. But you were professional and a couple of hours later, you heard the magical words it’s a wrap.

“Where are you staying?”

The voice startled you and you held onto the shirt you were buttoning up for dear life. “Rúben! You can’t come inside. I’m getting changed”.

“I just spent 3 hours with you by my side wearing the smallest underwear I’ve ever seen in my life”.

“Really? You need to go out more”.

He rolled his eyes, before staring at your bare legs. “Besides, I’ve already seen everything there was to see”.

“It doesn’t mean you can see it again”.

“Not even if I say please?”

This time, you let him get closer and kiss you. And of course, you left with him. Much better than going back to the hotel.

                                        **

Back in London, you continued working non-stop. The Armani campaign was about to be released and some other brands wanted to work with you before that.

And for the second time in a month, you got to work with someone you knew well. But this time it wasn’t Rúben, but your friend Andrea.

“I love your hair”, she said the moment she saw you.

“Thanks. I had to cut it for a job but I’m really into this style”.

“Looks amazing on you”.

Catalogue shooting wasn’t the most thrilling part of being a model but it was pretty simple. And the crew you were working with was always fun to be around. So when it was time for a break, you all ordered food and chatted about everything and nothing while eating.

“Are you free this weekend?”, asked Andrea while you were getting ready to carry on shooting.

“I think so. Why?”

“Kepa has this event and I can’t go so we thought you could go with him. It’d be good for networking and all that”.

You met Kepa after working with his wife Andrea and became really good friends with both of them. It wasn’t the first time he had invited you to an event but…it was usually events that Andrea was attending too.

“I don’t know if it’s the best idea. I’ll be there as what? Your husband’s companion? What if people start to make up rumours?”

“It doesn’t have to be weird. Plus, it’s a very informal event. There might not be any press there at all and there is no need to dress up. It’ll be fine”.

“I’ll think about it”.

And that you did. Andrea kept sending you info and it really was a great opportunity to network. Also, the topic for the event sounded very interesting so you really wanted to go.

That’s how you found yourself arriving at the venue with Kepa by your side.

“Are any of your teammates attending the event too?”

“Why? Are you interested in any of them?”

“Kepa…stop. We’ve had this conversation before and no, I don’t like any of your teammates. None of them is my type”.

“You’ll break their hearts”, he laughed.

Kepa was busy talking to some people he knew so you decided to walk around saying hello to everyone. And that was when you saw him.

“What are you doing here?”

Rúben turned when he heard your voice and a big smile appeared on his face when he saw you standing in front of him.

“I was invited to the event. You?”

“I’m here with my friend”.

The word friend made him frown. “Another model?”

“No. Actually, another footballer”.

Rúben started to look around until his eyes fell on Kepa, the only other player that was currently there. “Him?”

“Yes, he’s my friend. Any problems?”

“You can do better than him”.

You laughed, not believing what you were hearing. “He’s married to my friend. We’re just friends, you idiot”.

“Is she here too?”

“No, she’s busy today. That’s why I’m here”.

“Big boy Kepa can’t go to places alone? Does he need you to babysit him?”

“Have you always been an asshole or am I just noticing? Don’t speak like that about my friend”.

Spotting Kepa, you left Rúben standing alone, staring at you while you walked towards your friend. His eyes never stopped following you around the venue and you could tell. But you avoided him.

Rúben kept trying to get your attention but you pretended not to notice and it was driving him insane. So when it was just you and Kepa standing next to the food, he decided to go introduce himself.

“Hey there, mate. Nice seeing you here”.

Kepa stared at him. They had never interacted outside of the pitch. “Sure. This is my friend…”.

“I know who she is”.

Kepa looked at you, frowning. So you had to clarify the situation for him. “Rúben and I did a shoot together recently. You’ll see it soon”.

“Right”, laughed Kepa. “Well, good to see you too. We gotta go…”.

“Maybe we could chat for a second”, he said, looking at you.

“Maybe I want to go with Kepa instead of chatting”.

Kepa kept looking from you to Rúben and then back, not understanding anything that was happening but if you wanted to leave, he was going to help you.

“She’s right. We need to leave now before my wife gets back home”.

When Rúben saw Kepa grab your hand to lead you to the door, his jealousy grew even more. “You have to make sure you finish before she gets back?”

Hearing that, Kepa let go of your hand immediately and before he had time to say anything, you had already slapped Rúben’s face.

“Don’t you ever insinuate something like that about me”.

Kepa had two options. Following you or copying your actions and slapping Rúben too. But even if he would have loved to do the same as you, he chose to follow you since people were getting closer to see what was going on. And his team had enough dramas to worry about.

"What was that about?"

"I would like to know too".

"Did he bother you at that shoot? You could complain to the brand or something. And if he's harassing you…".

"Kepa, I appreciate you worrying but it's nothing like that. I…I met him at a party a while ago and we hooked up. And then we met at the shoot and hooked up again. But I don't know, he was acting like a jealous boyfriend or something. And saying that about us…who does he think he is?"

"You were right to slap him. I wish I could have done the same".

You shook your head. You weren't an aggressive person. Actually, you avoided conflicts as much as you could. But hearing Rúben say that was too much. You couldn't not react.

Kepa invited you to stay over for dinner and you were a bit wary to say yes until you saw Andrea was back. She was fuming when she heard what had happened.

"Well, the good thing is you don't have to see him again".

"Actually…", her words made you realise you had to see Rúben again. Very soon. "We need to do an event to promote the campaign. I can't say no, Andrea. It's the biggest job I've ever done".

"You have to go", said Kepa. "Don't let him affect your career. Just pose with him for the red carpet or whatever and then you can stay away from him".

"Yeah, I'll do that".

But it was easier said than done.

                                        **

Rúben had tried his hardest to apologize. He didn't even know what got into him to talk to you like that. Well, he knew. Jealousy. But what right did he have to be jealous?

Still, he apologized on social media and even sent flowers to your agency. But got no response from you.

"This is what he'll wear", said the stylist, bringing the suit Rúben would wear to the event. "So we have to pick something that goes well with it".

You tried ten different outfits and none pleased the Armani team. But then you spotted a little black dress that no one had looked at.

"Can't go wrong with an LBD, right?"

They turned to see you holding the dress and one of the stylists shrugged. "Might as well see how it looks on. With those long legs of yours, it should look fine".

So you tried it on and it fit like a glove. The exposed back and the length gave it the sexy touch the brand wanted. You were promoting underwear not coats. But the front was more conservative, so it was sexy but still classy.

They paired it with some black heels and someone put your hair up in a messy bun to see how the neckline looked. You looked absolutely perfect. And you couldn't help but smirk thinking how it was going to drive Rúben insane.

But the first person you saw at the event wasn't Rúben, it was Gina.

"Hiii! Oh my God, you look gorg!"

Her smile was so fake, you feared she would get a migraine from the pressure on her jaw.

"I know".

"And you got to work with that hottie you slept with that one time. Where is he? Still single, I guess".

"I guess. But he told me he doesn't like obnoxious blondes so maybe don't waste your time".

"You're always such a bitch!"

"Not always, Gina. You just bring out the worst in me. Such a talent!"

Everyone was getting ready for the red carpet and it was then that you finally saw Rúben. He stood next to you but didn't even acknowledge you. Was he for real?

Once on the red carpet, he turned quickly to look at you and placed his hand on the small of your back. Your bare back. It was easier for you to just smile at the camera even if you didn't feel like it but he managed to do it as well.

You kept turning to show your outfit, placing your hands on his arms, shoulders or even chest.

"Stop moving", he whispered. His hand never leaving your back.

"I'm just doing my job. But nice to know the cat didn't get your tongue. Or were you just waiting to talk until you could accuse me of being a homewrecker again?"

"I messed up and I tried to apologize".

"Try harder".

The photographers thanked you and you started to walk away from the carpet, knowing Rúben was right behind you. When you turned your head to see him, you could see the way he stared at your body. He noticed you looking at him so we walked faster to catch up with you.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say something like that. I don't even know why I did".

"It was a very disgusting thing to say about someone you barely know".

"Again, I'm sorry. Please, let's pretend it didn't happen".

"Hi! Ruben right?", hearing Gina's voice, you closed your eyes to try to get rid of any murderous feelings.

"Yeah. Do I know you?"

She was now looking at you. "Be nice and introduce your friend".

"Who's the friend? You?"

Her fake laugh made you cringe. "She's so funny. Hi! I'm Gina".

"Rúben. Are you a model too?"

Oh God… "No silly, but do you think I could be one?"

"She's just an influencer who follows anyone with over 10k followers on Instagram around. If you slept with her, the whole country would know before you even finish".

Seeing Rúben's face made you laugh. He looked so uncomfortable.

"We gotta go, G. Everyone wants to see the stars of the event".

"You're just the accessory. He is the star".

Now she was showing her true colours. "Better than being the one that got a pity invite".

After a couple of seconds, Rúben caught up again.

"Are you going to roast me too?"

"You would deserve it as much as she does. But if you want to be told how amazing you are, Gina will be here the whole night".

"I have to be with my fellow star".

"Not your accessory?"

"I don't think you'd ever allow anyone to treat you just like an accessory".

"No one should allow anyone to treat them like that".

The whole night you had to be paraded around telling people about the collection and just hearing over and over again how great the campaign was. You knew that already. The photos were everywhere you looked and they were terrific. You knew that photographer was good but seeing the results in front of you made you realise how truly lucky you were to work with her.

"Do you like them?"

"Yes. These will be on my showcard for fashion week for sure".

"What's that? The card, I mean. I know what fashion week is".

"It's this little card with a couple of photos and my measurements. I have to take them to castings to give to the casting directors so they have all my info if they decide to hire me for the job".

"Interesting".

"You could model when you retire from football, you know?"

Rúben raised an eyebrow. "I don't know. I feel ok taking my own photos but working with photographers is weird".

"They stop you from doing stupid poses so it might be weird but look at the result".

He would have said something about your insult but could just stare at your fingers drawing invisible lines over the photos. Your fingers moved along the lines his muscles created and you seemed hypnotized by what you were doing.

He leaned towards you so he could whisper in your ear. "You know you can touch the real me too if you want to, right?"

"And yet you only get to touch me in the photos".

"You sure?"

His hand was now back on the small of your back and he could see the goosebumps caused by his touch. After looking around to make sure no one was there, he leaned down to kiss your shoulder and you kept staring at the photos trying not to show a reaction to his touch. But also not moving away, craving more.

"What's your favourite photo of the campaign?", you asked, interrupting the kisses that were now getting closer to your neck. And you knew once the neck kisses started, it was game over.

Rúben looked around at all the photos. "That one".

You looked at the photo he pointed and it was one of you with your back to the camera. You were topless so your back was as exposed as it was at that moment and you couldn't stop smiling seeing the rest of the photo.

"Is it my beautiful profile you like?", you asked, copying the pose so he could see the profile twice.

"Sure. But that thong…that's the sexiest piece of lingerie I've ever seen and I've seen a few. And of course, it looks even better because it's you wearing it".

"Do you want to know a secret?", he nodded. "That's what I'm wearing tonight. They let me keep the whole collection".

"You're kidding".

"Shame you won't be able to find out if it's true or not".

You left the room but not before turning to see Rúben unbuttoning the top button of his shirt. Yes, you were driving him insane. And no, he wasn't going to find out if you were telling the truth or not. Should have thought twice before pissing you off.

                                        **

After that event, Rúben tried to contact you but you ignored him. So he had almost given up. That was until he had to play against Chelsea. He obviously didn't make a great first impression in front of Kepa but perhaps they could talk, man to man, and fix that. So when the match ended, Rúben tried to find him quickly to talk to him with the excuse of needing to shake his hand after the match.

"So, your friend…".

"She's too good for you, brother. And you messed up and she doesn't give second chances. Sorry".

[nanamis-bigtie]

a lot has happened lately, but so far i haven't made any official statement about my decisions and the path i want to take as a writer. it was a long road of trial and error & detailed examination of conscience in regard of my bad habits, gained experience, and goals and expectations. there are some massive changes that i need to address, followed by explanation of my decisions. i know i don't need to explain myself but i feel it's only fair to my loyal readers to share at least little insight into the context.

I. One Piece goes on indefinite vacation...

not going to lie, i was falling out of this fandom for years. it's started in 2021 when i fell victim to bullying and stalking, initiated by a widely-known (and still active, as far as i am aware of) x reader writer. it's the biggest reason for my slow withdrawal but not a sole one: pressing discourse around my comfort characters, toxic environment i fell into when looking for a relief from relentless bullying, forcing myself to write for topics and characters i didn't even like, readers overstepping my boundaries over and over again, falling into a trap of purity culture...oh, the list is long. way too long.

i still love one piece but i don't want to create for it en-masse anymore. right now it's just a wound that's far from healing, i need to treat it at my own pace. aside from an occasional poke at sapphic topics and my fav trio, i doubt it will appear in other way than commissions or gifts for friends. and some characters (kid, sanji, marco, katakuri, shanks & a few more) will never return.

II. ...but new fandoms arrive!

jujutsu kaisen is right now the main love of my life & will remain as the main fandom for long. but i found more series and characters i adore enough to feel that creative spark buzzing in my veins. soon you should see fics appearing for: demon slayer, chainsaw man, haikyuu and hell's paradise!

i'm keeping my head low rn when it comes to requests but i want to hold at least a kinktober open for them so you definitely will have an opportunity to see your faves from those series from me!

III. It's a gender neutral & afab Y/N sphere now!

it's something that was inevitably floating over me and my fics (and some of y'all definitely caught the whiff of it already), but i couldn't quite find courage to put a hard limit. we all know how it is in the y/n circles: way too many people expect from writers to cater to everyone, and treat it as a personal offense if you prefer to play in your own sandbox. as if writing y/ns was "activism", not a fandom activity like any other.

so, i won't force myself to write against myself anymore. i feel the most happy and comfortable when i make my y/ns gender neutral and when i'm giving them vaginas (and sometimes boobs) when i'm writing smut with them. i don't want to battle my weirdly-veiled dysphoria to force female reader out of myself. i don't want to stress myself while writing amab y/n, from the sheer biological fact of being unable to relate via lack of penis, to being sick and tired of the toxicity and misogyny that m!reader circles reek of.

so, gender neutral and afab it is. sometimes i will stray towards afab nonbinary or transmasc direction, if i feel like i need some good gender vibes coming from my fics.

it doesn't mean i will never write different y/ns. commissions, gifts for friends, exchanges, random ideas for a plot that requires a specific kind of y/n, sapphics feels, and such will appear here and there. i will also interact lots with f!reader fics, since it's what i see lots around & don't mind reading, if i feel more fem or if it's from a writer i like and trust.

incoming ino x reader (that i hope to publish tomorrow) will be the last non-sapphic f!reader that will appear for a long while. all requests i'm keeping in my drafts right now will be turned into completely gender neutral or from fem to more general afab reader (i don't have any requests for amab readers rn anyway). unless you really don't want to have f!reader taken out of your request - then please, let me know, i will delete it so you can head with it to a different writer.

IV. Never miss a fic again - sign for a tag list!

and now a little treat! if you don't want to miss a fic about the topic that might interest you, you may sign for a tag list by filling a simple form!

V. And what am I going to do now?

write, write, and write even more! i wanna write the in the heat of spring drabbles before the spring is gone, have three fully-fledged multichapter fics outlined and itching to be written and posted, and an interactive event with which we will welcome the summer 💦

in june i want to publish a few sapphic fics that i had in mind for a while now & later towards the second half of summer (think august-september) i'll smile at you again with a kinktober i really want to complete this year!

there might be a few smaller events on the way, depending on how busy i'll be. there's an idea for dilf enjoyers and for a chubby y/n, as well as many others that still didn't take a clear shape.

i also didn't forget about the kiss event and nonsexual acts of intimacy for the fluff enjoyers!

if you survived this wall of text (or just scrolled down here lol understandable) - thank you for your patience, understanding, and support. whether you're here with me since the very beginning or clicked the follow recently, i'm happy to have you here ❤ if you have any questions or just want to talk, my askbox is open for any kind of interaction! and if you want to support a poor writer who has way too many health-related spendings lately, you can buy me a ko-fi ❤

[mewizard]

mh if i made the reboot pt 1. essentially thinking about my personal headcanons, if it was marketed to a larger audience and had unlimited budget, as well as catering to pop culture

flats n deets below!!

the goal i settled on was like. aspirational career monster high dolls but for weird tweens who might not otherwise play with dolls

so they keep the darker/edgier lurk and each would have a specific field or subject associated with them

which is inspired by the mythological world of teens being able to do whatever that's present in a lot of 2000s media,. high school movies yknow. mean girls type stuff. i miss that from g1.

frankie is ib medicine/biology + engineering to a degree

i think being a man-made freakshow kept pumping by electricity and stitches would mean frankie would be a good poster child for the medicore tumblrinas

their doll would come with an iv drip and teeny pillboxes and their prosthetic could pop off to be switched between dolls

main colours are pastel blue and pink with neutral white and yellow highlights

their possible legs include a shaker. like novi stars but with eyeballs

i imagine loads of frankie leg shaker keychains lmao so maybe you could turn them into charms

spin offs include plasters, science kits like lemon clocks and circuits, entirely take-apartable anatomy doll, and a lolita style monster ball dress with trousers bc thats just obligatory

i dont know whats going on with the sock i just saw it and im sorry

put yourself in clawdeen's shoes. youre an outcast kid in the 2000s, always felt a little different, always buried your face in your artbooks... only to find out at 16 you're actually the wolf you always dreamed you'd be. of COURSE this one is for the sparkledog girlies

her tagline is kill the part of you that cringes. <- joke. soz

clawdeen's academic focus is finance/marketing/graphic design

i did think about making it fashion but thats kind of boring for a fashion doll. sorry rainbow high

also she had that whole thing in g1 where her fave subject was economics iirc. eekonomics, even

anyway she would run the fake social media for monster high. maybe the magazine. tweens still read magazines, right?

spin offs include furry cover artbooks galore, a colour-your-own set

for some reason i keep coming back to the idea of those how to price commissions/adoptables guides everyone was all over making on instagram back when i used instagram but idrk how to work that in

tosses her. idk i just thought id draw my ideal texture doll.

main colours are neon purples and pinks with green highlights (also a smidge of yellow i might scrap)

[mymarifae]

i talked about this on twitter but i really... don't understand the way people have been so - for lack of a better word - "bristly" about firefly being the trailblazer's romantic interest. i strongly suspect that this would not be a source of so much complaint if she had feelings for any other character in the cast, and that tells me that the fandom is seriously misunderstanding the nature of the trailblazer's character. they're not a player insert. they have feelings, thoughts, and a relationship to the world and other characters around them completely independent of the player. just because you have the option to name them at the beginning doesn't mean they aren't their own character, and that giving them a love interest is anything more than standard relationship development

obviously there are those who will never accept this and will thus make the whole thing weird but we can just let them be weird in their own little corners. and i knowww about the leaks for that... mmd thing hyv commissioned that's like, a gag video of firefly fighting other girls to win the trailblazer's affections or whatever it was, so that audience is being catered to a little bit, but did you really expect hoyoverse to pass up an opportunity to squeeze money out of every possible avenue...? (they do this fanservice shit all the time come on guys) Scratches Head. maybe it's just me, but i kind of don't caare about occasional promotional gag materials - so long as it doesn't bleed into the actual game and story and characters. which like, it hasn't. for the record.

i think it's fine for the writers to focus on firefly's relationship with the trailblazer even though it seems silly and mundane and trivial in light of all the things like... glamoth's cavalry, the genetic engineering and experimentation, the swarm, the mystery of the stellaron hunters, etc... in fact, i think it's fine ESPECIALLY because it seems silly and mundane and trivial. a major aspect of firefly's character is that she just wants to be a normal person. with normal, average, pointless-in-the-grand-scheme of things concerns. like having a crush on her new (?) friend. she is more than a weapon. she exists beyond the SAM suit. she wants a life that she chose for herself.

i seriously don't know what you guys are talking about because i actually think they've done a fine job of balancing the juxtapositions of her character. her past has its time and place, her budding philosophies and questions about herself have their time and place, and her (probable) feelings for the trailblazer have their time and place. again maybe if the concept of the trailblazer being a player insert held any water there would be more of a point to be had here. but they're not, sooooo there isn't

and y'know. i don't think we have the right to say that the progression of their relationship has been "rushed" given the trailblazer has an entire past life with the stellaron hunters that we don't know about yet. "rushed" - or maybe they're just picking things up from where they left off? and sometimes people just click together like that, so either way it felt fine for me. maybe I would have liked more time with firefly before the sleepie incident occurred so I get more emotional impact out of it, but my feelings =/= the trailblazer's. because they are not a player insert. they do not reflect my will 1:1. their attachment to firefly is solely their own. THEIR attachment to her is what ultimately invoked an emotional reaction out of me and sparked my own attachment to her, actually. it was their shock, horror, and GRIEF that got me

idk. maybe we need to spend less time thinking about ourselves and more time thinking about the trailblazer as an independent character. it might help this whole mess

[alieinthemorning]

Their Love Language [Heartslabyul | Savanaclaw]

Content: Headcanons, Love Language, Fluff

Pronouns: None

Reblogs: Let me know that you enjoy my work and want to see more, so don’t forget to like and reblog (and comment in the tags. I love seeing people’s rambles in the tags)!

This work’s concepts, plot and original characters are my own which means I do not allow any sort of creative theft nor do I allow my work to be entered into any sort of A.I. bots. Thank you for respecting my space and boundaries.

Riddle: Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch

Post Blot, Riddle will need those words of encouragement

Yes, he will still be strict with the rules, but he’s trying his best to not go overboard.

When you give him encouraging words, he turns around and give it to the students in his dorm.

He’s not as harsh as he was before, he helps remind students of the rules

Even going as far as making study guides to help them.

As for physical touch,

his mother wasn’t the nicest, so he’s craving physical affection

but he also shies away from it.

He’s a little more forward behind closed doors

but outside of that you’ll probably get him standing close to you

maybe if you’re lucky he’ll hold your pinky

Ace: Physical Touch

Unlike Riddle, Ace does not care when or where.

Some part of him is touching you.

Arm over your shoulder, hand wrapped tightly in yours

He. Needs. To. Touch. You.

Respectfully, of course.

His favorite place is probably the nap of his neck.

When you’re sitting next to him at an Unbirthday Party with your arm draped across the back of his chair, if you reach up to scratch the back of his head.

He’ll turn into jello.

Deuce: Quality Time

Deuce honestly just wants to vibe.

Maybe go out on his blastcycle with you

Or even just racing on your brooms.

As long as he’s with you, he’s good.

Just… if he says anything with certainty

and you know it's wrong

Just leave him be, okay?

He’s still not over the chicken egg thing…

Cater: Quality Time

You better be ready to be on his Magicam page.

First and last post of the day, always on his stories.

Most definitely his home and lock screen.

He loves taking you out on dates, so be ready to go at all times.

You also have to be ready to have sneaky pictures taken of you

But honestly,

Cater’s favorite pictures of you are the ones where you're most caught of guard

or when you’re really focused on something.

#rosesarered #violetsareblue #youhavemyheart #ihaveyourstoo

Trey: Receiving Gifts

Trey, the reliable elder sibling of the Heartstabyul group.

Always getting everyone out of trouble.

He deserves something nice.

Handmade gifts are the way to his heart.

Large or small, it doesn’t matter, if it’s made by you.

He does favor things that he can keep on his person, though.

Like the star keychain that you got for his phone case.

Leona: Quality Time

When he asks if you wanna take a nap

He is not asking, you're taking a nap with him.

However, if you want to be a goodie, goodie and not miss class, he’ll understand.

But you better bet that the moment you have a free moment, he will be on top of you and zonked.

Ruggie: Acts of Service and Quality Time

Ruggie is always ripping and running for Leona,

so to have someone who will do something for him,

with no strings attached?

Oh he’s in big love.

But…

He does like going and doing stuff with you,

so it’s not too much of a hassle.

Jack: Quality Time

Jack likes those morning jogs.

And he’s psyched if you are too,

but if you aren’t that’s cool too.

The happy middle is that he does his morning run

Then comes back to you on a hill with a nice view of the sunrise with a little post run snack.

Made by you, of course.

He is very happy about this,

if his wagging tail wasn’t an obvious indicator.

Ko-Fi | Commission | Masterlist [Heartslabyul] | Masterlist [Savanaclaw]

[gettiregretti]

I think once we start seeing fictional characters as equal to real people who are oppressed or perpetuate oppression, then we place a morality onus on creators that isn’t their responsibility. “You have to write it like this or your work is problematic. And you have done something ethically wrong by writing it or enjoying engaging with it. You have to get better.”

I disagree entirely.

Kallus isn’t real. The Lasat aren’t real. If you want to make him a sweet little baby boy who never did anything wrong in his life, that’s completely fine. If you want to make the villain of his story (Saw and his merc) completely irredeemable, that’s also fine. The empathy we extend to living victims of oppression is not appropriate when using a character and can be put aside; they are a dead thing. They are a stick of wood or a Barbie doll. They have not oppressed nor been oppressed.

If you hate reading that, that’s also okay. If you don’t like that interpretation of Kallus or the merc, that’s fine. We all encounter things in fics we find distasteful or upsetting. It’s completely fine to think it’s a case of bad writing or misunderstanding a character. It’s okay to leave the fic and never read the author again.

But it’s not okay to suggest there was anything ethically dubious about that fic in a public forum. If you want something more in line with your preferences, you need to write it yourself or commission someone you trust to write it the way you want it to be written. Suggesting anyone has to create in only one way requires more control than you have over other people. No one should have that control. And I’d argue that guilting people into complying is worse than writing the most depraved little story man can think of.

Creators have no responsibility to create things in ways that cater to you, or don’t upset you. You have to be in control of what you consume and your reactions to that yourself. It’s a you thing. You can’t grasp for a morality club to beat people with just because something makes you uncomfortable or disappointed.

And, because ‘say you like waffles must mean you hate pancakes’ is the rule of the internet: This is not the same as discussion about how, for example, Black characters are treated in fandom, or cases where marginalised creators are ignored. This is about the fictional content you are creating/consuming for fun not being capable of telegraphing or morphing your personal morals.

Brought to you mostly by people yelling at me on Twitter and people having a discussion on how to write this pairing here on tumblr. My respect to you all but I deeply disagree with these takes. Example below.

[cupids-chamber]

— " COMFORT FOOD " they make your comfort meal for you! ♡ Fluff / Gender neutral reader

♡ COMMISSIONED BY ; @novaloptr Thank you for commissioning me <3

There is nothing better than having your comfort food on a cold winter day, the sense of nostalgia and comfort that stems from the meal is a constant reminder that you couldn’t return to the simple live you had before, outside of twisted wonderland; back home, yet the food didn’t cause you sadness, it in turn gave you a euphoric feeling of how despite the drastic changes in nature and surroundings, you’re still able to enjoy the simple things life has given you. Like of course food, with the meal you can remember the memories you had previously shared with others and possibly make new ones with others you come to meet. 

So with that, RUGGIE couldn’t help but think the best gift he could offer you, was the meal that is perfectly catered to what you had and loved previously. He carefully handpicked the best ingredients he could get his hands on the day before; he made sure not to waste anything as he followed the instructions he had found online. He wanted this to be perfect, now don’t get him wrong. Ruggie by all means, was not a perfectionist; however your beloved boyfriend cherished you and wholeheartedly viewed you as utter perfection, who only deserved the utmost best treatment and care. 

At first you were slightly confused, when Ruggie inquired about the various dishes in which you enjoyed, however you couldn’t help but feel a bubble of warmth wash over you, when you came home to find your dining table decorated with a bundle of flowers and candles, it was quite excessive even for Ruggie. The centerpiece of the entire decorated front was a meal covered with a lid, a small note adorned its top; when you unraveled the over the top note it read: “To the love of my life, I had to go to work, my asshole boss needed me! I miss you already :c but you told me ya’ told me you liked this right? So… I tried making it for you!” 

A smug smile washed over your features as you settled down onto the seat. Ruggie was a lovable dork at times, but at these simple small moments you could tell how much your dork truly loved you. He was practically smitten and it showed visibly, he cared for you and he obviously noticed your recent homesickness; oh how could you not fall for the hyena, when he cared so deeply for you? He practically made sure you didn’t have to move a finger after work, he was simply that caring for you. You let out a soft sigh before removing the lid of your food, thankfully it was still warm. 

When you and your partner JAMIL had moved in together; it was a given that the two of you would split the workload, in most of these cases Jamil would simply cook and you’d clean. It was a fair trade, yet slightly uncomfortable for Jamil who had been working to the bone taking care of a certain Al-asim since childhood; being free of an exceptionally large workload was such a foreign concept to him. In fact, Jamil had even volunteered to try and help you with your chores, however Jamil was already a clean and well organized person so there was rarely a mess you had to clean on his part, so you’d always refuse his help.. Unless of course it was your only option. 

Jamil felt like he needed to give you a sort of gift, as a form of appreciation for your hard work; yet nothing materialistic satisfied his ideal image of a perfect gift, especially since the cause may seem a bit too unnecessary in your eyes. However when the brilliant idea of making you a meal which you loved came to mind, he couldn’t think of anything better!.. Getting an answer out of you proved to be difficult, as he intended to keep his plans a surprise, he had to ask questions rather ominously, in a way in which you wouldn’t figure anything out—Yes he was well aware he could simply use his unique magic on you, but he had vowed way back, before your relationship, that he’d never do so without your prior permission.  

“Welcome home” Jamil said, as you took off your shoes and placed your coat on the hanger. “No kiss?” you asked, with a pout “Give me a moment”; you watched as your partner placed something onto the dining table, “I made you your favorite.. though I’m not sure if it’ll match your memories— but.. I tried!”. You were surprised, going up to the table only to see an all too familiar meal, “Is this why you’ve been asking about my favorite meals, this past week?”, Jamil nodded in response, “I wanted to make something special, to show my appreciation for you” 

© cupids-chamber, do not repost, plagiarize, translate, or adapt my work without prior permission and or confirmation.

[veintrry]

a one-sided celebration.

wanderer x gn!reader, birthday!!, slight angst, misunderstanding, fluff.

The wanderer had always viewed birthdays as something only humans did. Why would he, an entity that has wanderer Teyvat for generations need to celebrate something so minor such as age? The only ever time he had done that was with that boy that he catered, that is, prior to his death. Ever since then, he had more reason to avoid these things. Still, you wanted to make one, just for him! But, planning and setting up a birthday takes a long time, so what is the poor wanderer meant to think when you've been too busy planning to pay attention to him?

"What are you planning?" Despite it being a question it felt more as though he was confronting you for having committed a crime. Sure, you know you've garnered up a slight reputation of being michevious when it comes to him, but that's only because he considers everything he finds odd to be that way. "Nothing."

"Liar. You've been running around these past few days, in fact, I haven't been seeing you as often..." His words lingered, leaving a sense of suspicious as he eyes you, observing the ruffles in your clothing, the coarseness of your hands, and the dirt on your shoes.

It was already difficult as is to get the knowledge of when he was born, or, made, and now you had to somehow keep him off your tail. You managed to do so for the past few days by saying you had commissions from the guild to tend to and personal work to get to, but you can't keep using the same excuses. His suspicions were bound to occur at some point, and that's fine, what's important is he doesn't find out what you are doing.

"Oh? Is this your way of saying you missed me?" You nudge him with your elbow, a wide smile on your lips as you tease him and god he hates it. He hates it so much he's starting to feel his stomach tighten. "As if. Don't change the topic,"

"Where have you been?"

The last thing he'd want to do is say it out loud but he had been concerned as to your whereabouts for the past couple of days. He isn't an idiot, you should know that. Each time you said the guild gave you a commission again he knew you were going off elsewhere.

He wasn't only worried for your safety, but, with how distant you had been growing, he could only begin to think you were intentionally trying to slowly unattach yourself to him. With each passing day, each minute when he was not with you, he kept sensing this tightness in his chest as his throat felt dry. He was sure, so sure, that you were going to leave him one of these days. So he'd wait in your room, every day, just to make sure all your stuff was still here, and when he'd hear you come back he would quickly leave as if he never was there.

"I told you I was given a comm-"

"Stop lying to me already." He latches onto your wrist, pulling your hand up, "Your hands are rough." Just as you are about to make an excuse he cuts you off, glancing at your boots. "Your shoes are dirty." He looks back up at you, his gaze intense. "And Katheryne said you haven't been to the guild." You feel the tension that rises at his words. God, you thought you told her to cover for you.

He watches how your eyes slightly widen and the rise of your brows. He can even notice how you bite the inside of your cheek at what he said. Scaramouche was right.

"It's something I can't tell you, yet."

This makes him hold onto you tighter, feeling desperation circle his void of a heart.

"Huh, so I hit the nail on the head." He releases his grip on you and crosses his arms, "You're really foolish, you know that?"

"What does that mean?"

"I lied. I never asked Katheryne. I just wanted to see how you'd react if I said that." Bastard.

Of course, that was too easy. You really do let things spill too easily around him. "Listen, I don't intend on prying on whatever you are doing," He didn't. It was Your choice, just your choice. Even if he didn't want it.

"But, at least tell me," He paused for a bit, biting his lip before releasing a breath he didnt know he was keeping in. "When are you going to go?" It was direct and straight to the point. The eye contact he kept with you was strong and he seemed as though he was preparing himself for something, for a certain sentence.

"...Go where?" He sighs again,

"When are you... leaving me." Kunikuzushi doesn't face you, no, he turns his head rather opting to look elsewhere. If he is right, and Archons, he wish he isn't, then he doesn't want to see the face you make knowing you were found out.

There's a touch on his shoulder that catches his attention, he raises a brow and as he is about to turn his head to the weight on his left, you do it for him. Thumb on his chin as you keep him staring at you. The expression on your face is so sturdy he somewhat feels taken aback, it felt unusual for the circumstances.

"Who said I'm leaving you?" Your harsh tone betrays the meaningful aspect of your words as you speak carelessly. "Why would I ever do that?"

You didn't get it. Where was this coming from, and on what planet would you leave him? What bloody universe would that occur? It didn't mater if the Archons and Celestia itself intended to separate you, you'd overcome the gods and all that is above for him.

Now you're both confused. "Because you're always making excuses? You constantly come back late and you've been leaving me by myself for longer and longer. I barely see you, you've literally been leaving me notes instead." Kunikuzushi explains, and as you listen you begin to understand where he was coming from. Hell, you might even say it sounded like you were ignoring him. Shit, you were ignoring him.

The realisation dawns upon you like a strong wave and immediately you grab onto his hands, pulling them out of their positions at his chest. "I didn't mean to ignore you, I'm so sorry. I was just planning something!" "Something." "Yes, something!" He doesn't remove your grip from him, he simply gives you a raise of his brow and encourages you to go on.

You thought, the day had already arrived, might as well.

"It's.. for you." Yet, when you peer over for his reaction, he still doesn't seem to get it. "Your birthday," You say, "It's today."

"Don't tell me..."

Don't tell him. Really, Don't. Because if he were to find out that you did what he's thinking, that whilst he was worried about you abandoning him, you were planning something for his birthday of all things, then he's going to feel humiliated. Of course you'd do that. God, you damn idiot. He lets out a heavy sigh and you anticipate his next words.

"You're stupid." He removes one of his hands from your hold and uses it to flick your forehead.

"Hey! What's that for?" You said rubbing the spot almost immediately.

"Why did you think to do that? You know such a thing isn't exactly a milestone for me." You were aware, it's hard not to be. But, nevertheless, you felt these things should be celebrated. Just because you have more years to live than others doesn't mean they're worth any less.

"I wanted to. This is meant to be about you, it's meant to be about everything you've done, all that makes you, you!"

"Really now? Because I've done a lot of things I shouldn't have."

"But you're better now! You're trying at the very least." Your hands drop at your sides, letting your arms rest comfortably now. "I know you've done a lot of horrible things, believe me, I know it best. But, if you just hang onto that, if you let it define you, what's the point in the next years of your life? They're gonna be filled with regret and guilt."

A hand reaches up to caress his cheek, and he doesn't hesitate to push his face into your touch. "I want you to be happy, Kuni. You're trying. You know you are. That's something worth celebrating."

There's silence. It's rather comfortable. He merely gazes at you, the hope that shimmers in your eyes and the warm affection that is alike to a cup of hot tea, swirling within your orbs. Everything about you made him at ease. From your appearance, your scent, your voice, your dumb personality, all of it. For some reason you were a cure to him. He pondered over what you said.

"You and your stupid happy-go-lucky speeches, I swear." He squeezes your hand. "Fine, point taken. But, next time you don't need to do anything special." He pauses, biting his lip as he glances from you, to your hands, and to your boots. "You could just spend it with me. Having you beside me is enough." You can tell he's trying his best to say it aloud, and you still hear it despite it coming out as a mumble, however it seems that the next sentence comes out much easier. "I don't mind having your annoying self keep me company. You might even make it an okay day."

"Just okay?"

"More than okay."

[etirabys]

on email

I put off wedding planning with the expectation that I would do a terrible but functional job once deadline urgency kicked in. This has started to happen. One consequence is that I have (probably but hopefully not temporarily) had to become a timely emailer.

The impetus was procrastinating on clicking a link in an email that it turned out I should have read ideally acted upon immediately. This is an embarrassing but characteristic mistake – my habit with emails is to open them, get a fast (and sometimes wrong) impression of the contents, have the emotion of not wanting to deal with it, and marking it as unread. I do this with a lot of non-email messages across all platforms, too, with the result that I drop a lot of messages that I forget to or can't mark as unread again.

I knew perfectly well what a loathsome creature I am to do this, but Willpower did not work.

I've been much faster with all messages in the past week and will describe what I understand of the change, so that it will hopefully persist.

(A prerequisite: for many years I have unsubscribed from, filtered, or blocked unwelcome senders. I try not to give out my email address for any reward greater than $20.)

i. I had to radically accept that I am tired and stupid most of the time.

Radical acceptance is a concept from mindfulness / dialectical behavioral therapy, and mostly means the opposite of "trying to believe something that isn't true". It means understanding and accepting your actual circumstances without flinching from them, and acting in a way that actually achieves your goals in those circumstances.

So it turns out – in some part because my expectations for myself haven't adjusted from my pre-burnout days when I had more energy and a better memory – that I put off things because "I can tell I'm dumb right now, and if I try to book this flight I'll probably double-book myself even if I check my calendar three times, and I should do this when I'm more awake." Or "I shouldn't resume this conversation about an art commission, because I don't feel all here today and I'm probably going to mess up the conversation". Or, of course, "I shouldn't make this decision the wedding planner is asking me about right now, because I'll make the wrong one."

While there is variance in my mental abilities depending sleep and time of day and so forth, I almost never pass the bar of cognitive competence I implicitly set for making these decisions. So if I keep the bar where it is, I'm never going to get anything done.

I have to radically accept that I am (compared to when I was younger) tired and stupid all the time, and I still need to live my life. I need to double-book myself and then pay $20 to reschedule my flight, arrange for a tasting with a caterer that doesn't meet a desideratum my spouse told me about, join a reading group I'm too busy for and then leave, get on a call that I forgot to do research for beforehand... etc.

And: I have to respond to emails and messages approximately as soon as I see them, because "my future self who will make informed decisions about things I cannot" is an illusion.

ii. Conversely, I should never check messages when I'm not prepared to make respond to arbitrary textual stimuli.

I used to check my email or messages when I was bored. This makes no sense! The contents of my email inbox are determined by the decisions of a large number of other people, and could contain anything. It is this variance that makes this addictive, and it is also this variance that makes it important to read it when I have the wherewithal to react appropriately.

I don't want to keep training myself into being the kind of person who repeatedly clicks and unreads a scary medical bill email. To stop that behavior, I want to have a mindset of "if one of my emails is a scary medical bill email, I am willing to read the whole thing, think about it, and take the appropriate next action" whenever I am about to navigate to my inbox.

The same goes for clicking into Discord or Messenger, because I need a similar presence of mind to react to invitations to high-effort social events, requests for help I may not be able to give, requests for information I need to think about before providing, etc.

The important thing is to not mix actionables with entertainment. I need mental separation between those two, because perceiving personal pings as a subset of social media notifications made me treat them more passively. "Oh, huh, a decision to join a Paradise Lost reading group is on TV. Interesting. Now an ad..."

---

I expect to backslide on my improved response rate/quality once I'm done with the wedding, but hopefully writing the above will act as the strut of a dam.

[killakalx]

before you interact ;;

quick facts

— if these rules are not followed and im in a bad mood then you’ll probably get blocked.

— don’t interact with me or my works if you’re younger than 18. we can still talk and interact on my sfw main blog @kazzattack

— additionally; have your age listed on your blog. like a definite age. not some bullshit like “18+ content” or “old enough”

— this is an nsfw account!! i don’t typically write sfw unless i’m in a rare mood for it.

— i am begging you. do not like post after post after post in quick succession. don’t spam like. don’t like a bunch of fics to save them. get yourself a tag system and reblog.

— i keep reader ambiguous but my writing is usually catered to black readers, since i’m a black writer.

— i’m not gonna sit here and require it, but reblogs & commentary are always nice. they all get read and they all make me giddy asf

— don’t take this blog seriously because I don’t even take this blog seriously.

— i talk a lot. this is basically an account for me to thirst and write for whoever’s on my mind, so give me grace if i don’t actually write for a while.

— darker themes i may write ;; somno, free-use, infidelity, gun/weapon play (iffy with knives), intox (weed/marijuana)

— what I don’t write ;; scat, a/b/o, rape, age play, hard bdsm/ddlg, mpreg, aged-up characters, anything to do with eggs, male!reader, futanari

inbox rules

— i don’t do requests, which means i’d prefer not to get anything along the lines of “can you do [specific kink] for [specific character]?” i also don’t do headcanon posts, or commissions.

— however!! thoughts and thirsts are more than welcome. pls feel free to leave commentary on my works, ideas for characters or refer to my posts in my inbox :)

— if i don’t respond to an ask please don’t take it personally!! it probably just didn’t spark anything for me to give a sufficient response </3

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[idyllic-affections]

HELLO!! YOUR BAIZHU WITH CHRONICALLY ILL READER IS THE BEST THING THAT'S EVERY HAPPENED!!! I've never seen a blog that does only platonic things, and as an aroace person, IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY! I wasn't too sure if you requests were open or not, but I was wondering if you could make either some headcanons or a fic where the reader (from that series) has a flare up or gets sick and Baizhu takes care of them? I'm unfortunately sick right now (just in time for when my final school assignments are due, slay 😍) but found family and hurt/comfort are literally the best thing ever, and, if put together, I'm pretty sure will cure me /j. If you requests aren't open, then please disregard this message!

Anyway, I gotta go sleep before the fever messes up my brain (if it hasn't already); so good bye, and thank you again!!

a slip of the tongue.

summary. how does baizhu care for his junior herbalist when they fall ill?

trigger & content warnings. flu-like sickness, lighthearted mentions of death.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. hurt/comfort-ish. baizhu & reader. 1.1k words. they/them pronouns for reader. this post is an expansion of invisible disability? it's rather visible to me & contains vaguely implied spoilers for baizhu's story quest.

author's thoughts. hello lovely!!! thank youu <3 i am slowly collecting people that like this series like how i collect shiny rocks. its great to get a request related to it. i hold this series very dearly, so please (and this goes for everyone reading this!) never be shy to send thoughts about it or requests related to it. anyway, i love catering to aroace folk, you all are so special to me. im on the aro spectrum myself, so i get it. i know from experience that it can be super frustrating looking for fanfic content that's non-romantic. please remember to take care of yourself! i totally understand the feeling of needing to finish final assignments while being sick. me and you are in the exact same boat LMAO... my requests are always open btw! ive no intention of ever closing them. in the end, i went with our poor reader being sick rather than having flare ups, since i already briefly touched on that idea in employee benefits.

how does baizhu care for his junior herbalist when they're sick and out of commission?

baizhu is most often the first to know when they're sick or otherwise unwell. he's so impossibly attentive to their bodily condition, simply because their health is partially his responsibility. he's their teacher. what kind of mentor would neglect to take care of their apprentice? a bad one, that's what kind.

(he also feels somewhat indebted to them—even though they're chronically ill, they're always doing anything they can to help him recover after his "secret art" treatments. even though he's the doctor, they've helped care for him on more than one occasion. he has to return the favor whenever he can. just because he's older doesn't mean he gets to freely take advantage of their kindness.)

if he's not the first to know, he's the second, because the only instance where he wouldn't know first is if they woke up ill at home.

he'll always end up being the second to know, at the very least. someone will inform him of their condition, whether that be a parent or a sibling or another family member. sometimes a friend of theirs may tell him, such as xingqiu, chongyun, hu tao, or xiangling.

in hu tao's case... she may be distrustful of him, but she does tell him when they aren't well. [name] is a childhood friend of hers. she cares about their health and, surprisingly, doesn't want to put them in the ground just yet!

even though she dreads the path they've chosen to walk down... she still cares for them, very much so.

(junior herbalist!reader's lore drop is finally here?!?!?)

regardless of how baizhu finds out, they'll end up being cared for at the pharmacy.

though he could prescribe them medication and let them be taken care of at home...

he often wants to care for them himself.

gui has asked why in the past, and baizhu really has never had a good answer for him.

he's really not sure why he wants to be the one to monitor them. perhaps it's because it gives him a sense of calmness and reassures him that they're recovering well.

after all, if their condition were to rapidly decline for any reason... he could fix it.

(to some others, his concern might seem overprotective. unnecessary. however, something as simple as the flu has been known to take lives. he worries that, because of their chronic illness, they may be more susceptible to a severe case than others are.)

he has the means to save them if something like that were to happen, and undoubtedly, the life of his sweet and kind apprentice is one that deserves to be saved and protected.

perhaps it's also because it seems to put qiqi at ease; baizhu's noticed that she gets fidgety in [name]'s absence during work hours, but when they're ill and being cared for at the pharmacy, she functions very well and often even remembers to check on them herself.

sometimes when they have a fever, qiqi may sit by their side for minutes at a time and just press her little cold hands on their forehead to cool them off. she also ensures that they stay hydrated.

both baizhu and gui find this behavior very endearing. qiqi cares deeply for her big sibling (despite the fact that she's technically older...). her bond with them is something very special and sweet to bear witness to.

bubu pharmacy's work environment is familial and tightly knit by nature, so it isn't too hard to imagine that something would feel wrong if one of the four herbalists were gone for whatever reason. even those who don't work there are affected by the absence of one or more of the pharmacists.

overall, baizhu takes very good care of them when they fall ill.

he monitors them closely, hand-crafts their medicine depending on what they need, makes sure that their fluid intake is maintained...

he dotes on them tbh.

"Ugh..." they groaned, blearily blinking up at their mentor. Baizhu's hand against the feverish skin of their forehead was cold; they couldn't help but lean into the gentle touch. "Bàba?"

He didn't point it out. He hardly even acknowledged their words, as if he were somehow used to it. He only smiled, hand stroking tenderly over their disheveled hair, taming the defiant strands no doubt caused by restless sleep. "So sorry to wake you, dear."

Even Changsheng was quiet—she only hummed thoughtfully from her place around Baizhu's neck. Normally, she'd find something to tease them about (usually because they started it!), but now... she seemed to know that it just wasn't right to tease them in their hazy state of mind.

Gui was quiet, too. He was surprised. He had never heard them address their mentor such an... informal way, let alone with familial terms. He did once briefly think that the dynamic they had with Baizhu was awfully family-like, but...

It was still unexpected.

"Come, now. It's time to take your medicine again, and then you can go back to sleep, okay?"

Gui watched, still silent, as they hummed in absentminded acknowledgement, rubbing their eyes ever so slightly. It didn't seem to help them come to at all; their gaze was still distant and unfocused and they didn't even realize how they addressed the doctor. If they did... they'd probably apologize, embarrassed, but they showed no such emotion. Baizhu gently guided them into a sitting position, rubbing small circles on their back.

Gui handed the cup filled about halfway with herbal medication off to the doctor. Baizhu gingerly guided it to their lips, knowing very well that the guidance was needed; they looked half-asleep sitting up. Archons know they were in no condition to successfully do it themselves. They took the medicine without so much as a whine about its bitterness—they only grimaced slightly after swallowing. Gui supposed that they never really were one to complain about it, even when fully coherent. 'I think it would set a bad example for others if I complained,' they once told him. 'Plus, it's not like Dr. Baizhu gets some kind of sadistic pleasure from giving medication to me, so there's no reason to complain. It's herbal. There's nothing to be done about the taste... I know he doesn't like taking it either. Hehe. It's kind of funny, actually, like we're hiding some kind of company secret. Herbalists who don't like the taste of herbal medicine.'

It was only after he left the room with the doctor that he pointed it out:

"They called you bàba."

"Hm?" Baizhu hummed, turning to Gui. "Oh. Yes... [Name] has done it quite a few times, actually, whether that be because of fever delirium or a slip of the tongue. I don't mind it. It only means that they feel safe enough to be vulnerable here. Qiqi has done it a few times, as well. Those two are only children, so... it is to be expected."

Gui then smiled, nodding. "It's cute."

Baizhu couldn't help but agree, his lips tilting upwards into a little smile himself. "It is."

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[sardonic-the-writer]

𝐖𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐭

↳ notes: this snippet is based off a lost gorillaz bite, and includes my gorillaz persona puck as a focal point. check out my masterlist on them or my blog tag puck if you would like to learn more about them

↳ warnings: none

↳ song: 5/4—gorillaz

sona masterlist | commissions | carrd

"I hate filming videos." Murdoc grit his teeth. He scratched at the hair on his bare chest. The floating island rumbled beneath him with a concerning noise. No one minded. It was all white noise at this point in the day.

"Suck it up. You were the one who came up with the idea for helium anyways." Puck blinked from behind their sunglasses, ignoring as Murdoc once again tried to start an argument with them. They were the only one standing up, working away at getting a good shot of the horizon with the band in it. It was proving to be harder than they liked.

They adjusted yet another camera in an attempt to zoom in on Noodles grinning face. When she started laughing, Puck poked their head out from behind the machinery, catching the tail end of something white splatting on Murdoc's out-of-frame face.

"You've got a little something there, Muds." Puck blinked with a tiny grin as Murdoc glared at them harshly, wiping the bird poop that had miraculously appeared on his face away.

"Want me to get you a napkin?" Puck offered falsely.

Murdoc made an obscene guesture at them. It was returned with zero hesitation. Noodles laughter got louder.

"That's supposed t' be lucky, y'know." 2D supplied with a bit of a teasing smile. He was a little late to the conversation, and Puck snickered anyway. Murdoc did not appreciate it.

"Leave him alone, Dee." Russel rumbled in the back, sighing as he adjusted in the grass. Sunlight reflected off of his white eyes when they were open, but he had been resting them for quite a while now. Russel was tired a lot these days. Although, apparently not tired enough to let a fight break out when they were supposed to be shooting for a music video.

"I could fire you." Murdoc grumbled, adressing Puck again without any real weight behind his words. This was a threat he had loved to toss around since the day 2D and them had signed on under the label. Everyone knew he didn't really mean it for the most part. Which for Murdoc was saying a lot.

"Let's just get this scene over with before lunch so none of you get a nasty sunburn again." Puck rubbed at their eye with two fingers, working something out of it. "I made sure to call those caterers you all liked last time. Noodle, they even said they could fix up some vegetarian tacos for you if we wanted. I told them to go ahead."

2D raised his hand as if to say something, but Puck beat him to it, reassuring the singer that they had made it very clear nothing should be made with pickles. Nobody wanted a repeat of what had happened last time 2D had bitten into a sandwich and tasted tangy vinegar. It had taken two days for the swelling in his lips to go down.

It took another five minutes and one more bird nearly pooping on Murdoc for the band to settle down enough so Puck to finally line up the shot he wanted.

With one call to 'stay where you are' later, they stumbled behind the recording camera, only tripping on a clump of grass once to get there. The red recording light flickered on as Puck pressed a solitary button, and with a silent thumbs up, he declared action.